#and she's now marked as not good with young children which is a no-go bc we babysit a 5 y/o multiple days a week

[gay-for-the-snz]

I MIGHT BE ADOPTING A CAT YOU GUYS. I GET TO MEET HER ON SUNDAY

[atopvisenyashill]

considering the repeating trends between targaryen characters who share the same name (all aegons after the first one are tremendously cursed, all rhaenyses die painfully, all daerons except for daeron ii are battle-oriented), do you think there is significance that jaehaerys ii, the man who brought back sibling marriage after it nearly become obsolete like his namesake, married a woman whose name is one letter away from saera?

of course, other than bringing back sibling marriage and being a shitty dad, jaehaerys i and jaehaerys ii don't have much in common but i wonder if grrm ever bothers to characterize shaera, she would be like saera reborn.

ooo okay.

so first of all, yes, i do think there’s going to be a lot of parallels (or really obvious contrasts) between the two of them. i mean, there already IS - they both elope with their younger sisters and that marriage marks a forced return to brother-sister marriages, the beginnings of a devastating war are sown under their watch; jae1 rules for decades and is positively remembered as someone more scholarly but capable of handling a war or rebellion, also has a million kids, while jae2 only rules for a handful of years and is remembered as being like, an ineffectual nerd and he only had two kids. we have next to no information on shaera right now and this is something i’ve found a bit frustrating bc i’m not sure if it’s a case of she’s gonna be a big part of a dunk & egg book that he will never write so he stubbornly doesn’t want to share (which, goofy but valid) or he just genuinely hasn’t characterized this woman in his mind at all & when pressed he’s gonna act brand new about why that’s so annoying.

but in my heart of hearts….

shaera is such a WEIRD choice for a name like egg what in the FUCK were you TRYING to curse your kids so you named one after FUCKING JAEHAERYS and another this whack ass valyrian name SHAERA. like what is this 😭 whenever i look at those two i feel like. what am i supposed to DO with this man. first of all, jae2 was always doomed to be a freak bc a) look at his name and b) barristan likes him and barristan is a Targaryen regime apologist (i’m not judging i’m a ned stark regime apologist, we all have our crosses to bare). the characterization i like to cobble together is that jae2 is genuinely quite good at a lot of things but this is overshadowed by his just glaring defaults. forcing his YOUNG children to marry bc a woods witch told him too, after he knows damn well he & his siblings have pissed off so many people with their marriages & egg has been controversial to say the least, is just some crazy ass work. enabling this re-descent into focusing too much on magic & dragons to the detriment of everyone else…just insane. asking for fucking trouble the same as the great council issue is just asking for trouble from jae1. and boy does he get it! but it all comes after he gets to peace out and die so he never faces the consequences. probably significantly less martial than jae1; i imagine him being the kind of person who you notice constantly has a cold. i like to believe that he was outwardly very warm but just kinda like increasingly and incredibly passive aggressive. rhaella is his clear favorite child.

and again. shaera. i think it’s interesting egg chose a valyrian name for her and not the “targaryen related but andal in origin” names like alysanne and alyssa (also interesting he went for “rhaelle” imo). i wish we at least knew when she died. but i agree - i don’t want her to be an alysanne-esque buying into the romance of being a targaryen, but a more saera-esque wanting attention any attention, fully buying into the godhood idea of valyrian supremacy type as a way of matching jae2’s freak and explaining aerys’ own supremacy ideals. i’m deeply curious about what could Make Her This Way - it's not like, for example, Jaehaerys' daughters' derangement comes out of nowhere. Hell it's not like Aegon the Unworthy's behavior comes from nowhere. But I feel like right now we have this picture of Egg's court that is a lot more progressive, more concerned towards doing good than building power, which i feel like...you'd think that would give you some more well adjusted daughters and Yet look at Shaera....not to mention Rhaelle is also a complete mystery. So I think for me, I like the idea that as complements to each other, Rhaelle is very anti Valyria, fully taking on the Baratheon name and identity and positioning herself as Not A Targaryen because she's pissed at how her marriage went (regardless of how she feels about her husband) while Shaera is fully bought into the supremacy ideals. I'd honestly love if she's the aggressor between her and Jaehaerys; she seduces him, she convinces him to elope, she's pushing for them to undo a lot of Egg's reforms (which, note that they don't get massively undone until Tywin gets ahold of it, which again, so interesting to me that Jae2 was just very blase about this).

[lemonhemlock]

I think the general speculation around the Dyana returning rumors/being part of B&C has been that she might not necessarily be trying to go on a murderous revenge rampage but that she might be somewhat-recruited by Mysaria. Mysaria may offer her money (paralleling her conversation with Alicent), maybe offer some vague form of justice, and Dyana may in turn give her some information that helps them execute B&C. Even if they do go that route I think it's more likely that Dyana doesn't know the details of what's going to happen (i.e. she wouldn't know that it's the babies that are being targeted - I think it would be a bit absurd for a young girl who was their nanny to be super chill with toddler beheading), and it'll probably include a heavy manipulating hand from Mysaria, who would clearly be very adept at getting people in vulnerable positions to give her what she wants. As I said, all speculation, but I do think there's a scenario in which it could work.

good tidings, anon. in this context i was using the word "rampage" more in a hyperbolic way; i'm not expecting dyanna to charge at aegon with a machete or anything like that. what you're proposing is a less extreme version, true, but i'd say it still falls within the ballpark of option 2. even if she is not tortured for information or physically assaulted or what not, i imagine she would still be pretty horrified to find out that she unintentionally contributed to the murder of a child and the extra trauma of four additional people, two of which are other children. that would do some serious damage to one's psyche, even if she had nothing to do with the execution. to a character that's already been recently raped.

unfortunately, dyanna existed as a character only to further other characters', well, characterisations (lol), namely alicent's and aegon's. if she appears again, it'll only be for the same reason. she is not going to be a stand-alone person, with her own story and rich inner life. the writers are just not going to do that bc they've already made clear what they think of the smallfolk (they don't matter).* so should we expect her to receive a nuanced portrayal? ofc, it could be possible, but i'm not holding my breath. i also think it would be absurd for a former nanny to start plotting child beheadings, but, sadly, it's the type of "shocking" "plot twist" that might get confused for actual progressive, thought-provoking writing in the GoT cinematic universe.

*the lack of common folk representation or at least discussion of their plight is a distinct problem in HOTD, especially when it takes place in a fictional world whose main philosophy is "it's always the innocents who suffer the most when the high lords play their game of thrones". so far, in the series, we've seen commoners only as brutalized / dangerous / or as stigmatized sex workers. not an award-winning portrayal, but, then again, even noble main characters have nonsensical characterization, so...

it's also going to be very easy to spin this framing into a comeuppance for the greens, like it's predictable karma that they might suffer at the hands of people "they" wronged in the past (quotation marks bc it's only aegon who committed a crime against dyanna). so, in addition to daemon invalidly pinning aemond's crime on his sister & her children, now we have to pin aegon's crime on helaena & the children, too. and i doubt the show is going to take the time to actually portray this as a gross misunderstanding of justice, when it's so easy and so immediate to depict it as just desserts.

[lesless]

Some thoughts on marriage

Growing up I never really understood the idea of marriage. My mom had me at 16 or somewhere near that, & was only married briefly as a result of being pregnant with me & having a less than ideal home life, which she wanted to get out of. My dad has been married or engaged 5 or more times, though now he’s old enough not to lure in underaged girls or young women & is now happily married to a woman who I really like. My great grandparents, who I grew up with, were married over 50 years, & though they bickered I understood that they had committed to each other & my great grandpa took care of my great grandmother through her senility, hiding it until it was noticeable to all.

So, I have mixed views on the topic. On one hand, it seems insane to me to enter into a legal contract for a relationship especially considering I’m not religious in the traditional sense. On the other, I find it incredibly romantic & a statement of devotion.

I my early 20’s the only person I remember breaking up with me (who really just beat me to it, bc I was unhappy & didn’t want to be with him really) told me that the reason he didn’t want to be with me is that he “couldn’t imagine marrying” me, which to me felt stupid & I was fine with at the time (& still am, he was a mess). When I met someone I was infatuated with, he talked about how he was “going to marry that girl” in reference to the last girl he dated, during the first 6 months we were together, which really bothered me. They were together for a year or less as far as I can gather. He later admitted it was because her family had a lot of connections in the film industry, which made me feel a little disgusted by his intentions of marriage if I’m being honest.

Personally, I’ve driven hard lines in the ground with people I’ve dated. Either I’m with you or not, & with you means I’m in 100%. I’m not going to leave unless there’s some seriously extenuating circumstances, such as, my last partner had a serious alcohol problem & got really scary & mean before I decided it was safer for me to leave than stay with them.

Nowadays, I’m with someone I adore & I feel adores me back. We have been together 5 years in a few weeks, which will mark the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. Simultaneously, our family is mentioning marriage (& have been for years).

& im at this crossroads. I think both of us have some doubt about the whole concept of marriage, our families respectively having a long history of divorce & the mess that entails. But also, is that something I actually want? I’m not sure.

By now I did imagine myself with kids of my own, though I love my freedom & ability to do what I want. Marriage feels like the end of that freedom to a certain extent, but also feels like the agreement on a future, & security. We haven’t talked about it, truly. Sometimes I think my partner is working towards a more secure future for us before that, & every time he talks about the future he says US, which is also reassuring.

If he asked I would say yes, but as time rolls on & my experiences & friends get hitched after only a year or two, I do wonder if I’m just not the kind of person someone would want to marry, as that long buried ex said. Or, are people just stupid & rushing into things? Are people just agreeing to things based on their circumstances & ideology? The people I know who have gotten married, largely, also became very institutionally religious. Which, good for them, but that’s not where I am.

I suppose I’m curious what readers think of marriage. What are the criteria? What is the deciding factor? Do you just know?

I’ve also known people happily not married with children in 10+ year relationships. I suppose theres no universal right answer to any of this. Just something I’m pondering after some deeply itchy nightmares.

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i��͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[solasan]

🏆❌🔮🧸 for olenna!

OC EMOJIS

[ 🏆 ] is your muse multitalented? what are their hobbies, and why did they pick up these hobbies? if they don’t have hobbies, why don’t they?

i think olenna's got quite a few talents; she has a good head for numbers, even if she'd never admit to it (bc concerning herself with finances and accounting is 'unladylike' lmao), and she's definitely a voracious reader, so her talent for wordplay + language is marked. reading is her biggest hobby, since it was a way to both connect with her father after his death and distract herself from the war raging outside of old oak / her grief as a young teenager. after years spent in sewing circles, she becomes a very good weaver, and she actually enjoys it quite a lot; the methodical nature of the movements is very soothing to her. she also has a talent for embroidery, though no real passion; it's more one of those things that she's just expected to be good at, given her high birth, sex, and position as queen.

[ ❌ ] is there something your muse struggles with that they might never overcome? what is it? why do they have so much trouble with it?

answered here.

[ 🔮 ] what is your muse’s relationship with religion and spirituality? were they raised in a certain religion? have they stuck with the same set of spiritual beliefs all their life, or have they changed over time? are they settled in their spirituality now?

hehehehehe tabby u've asked the question ive been excited abt answering for olenna from the BEGINNING god bless u. olenna's relationship with religion is super messed up! she was raised following the faith of the seven; both of her parents were pretty devout, especially danelle, but it was... normal levels ig? the oakhearts visited the sept often, kept tokens of the seven around them, stuff like that.

and then willem, rymund, and theomar are killed by daeron & tessarion; the war reaches new levels of horror; the greens install spies (both overt and covert) in old oak to ensure no new rebellion begins. and olenna turns to the gods for guidance; particularly the mother and the crone. it gets to the point that she starts sleeping in old oak's sept for protection, which is... ironically probably a little stupid when there's a war going on, but nothing bad happens to her. she honestly becomes a little bit fanatical bc of the isolation of her position (old oak is effectively cut off from the outside world at this time, since the crown is keeping a very close eye on them). when the war ends and all of her remaining loved ones have survived, olenna starts dreaming of joining the faith as a septa to 'thank the gods for sparing us all'.

then she becomes queen, so that's not an option. but she continues to be very devout! given that she's less isolated now, she becomes a little less vocally devout (she doesn't go off on long philosophical debates or anything anymore) but she still visits the sept on visenya's hill very often and puts a lot of money into motherhouses and the faith within king's landing. as queen, she encourages a lot of more modest behaviour within the court of king's landing, which was already pretty sober and severe bc of aegon's mislike of tourneys & balls, so she's basically just... the wet blanket on top of the even wetter blanket shjdsjk.

she raises each of her children in the light of the seven; believing that the gods will always protect them if she does that, because that's what she's supposed to do, right? that's what the seven-pointed star says. and then aegon dies and she's lost someone she loves again, and that's painful, and even if she understands that death is natural, she's upset with the gods for taking him when he was still young. and then daeron dies and that's not natural, because no parent should outlive their child. her faith gets a little shaken; she spends long hours in the sept begging and pleading for answers, to no response. and then, when her beliefs are already a little shaky, baelor dies, and the whole faith gets thrown out the window lmao.

she burns her copy of the seven-pointed star; she locks her mother's prayer beads away. she never steps foot in a sept again. she isn't exactly an atheist, because she still believes the gods exist, but much like tywin, she doesn't like them very much. or at all. she feels very personally betrayed by them, bc she dedicated so much of her life to their worship, and she's lost so much. olenna definitely holds onto that anger til the day she dies.

[ 🧸 ] does your muse keep anything sentimental? if so, what do they keep and why?

answered here.

[apollostears]

TEENAGE LOVE AFFAIR [ BTS ]

group: BTS

pairing: BTS x daughter!reader

warning(s): swearing

request: can you do BTS reacting to their 15 year old daughter having a boyfriend/girlfriend?

requested by: @mela3340

oomfggg this was so fun to make!! thanks for requesting the first request of 2021 :) hope you enjoy love <3

➝︎ jin

he’s literally dramatic af.

#dramaking

but no really, he’ll be shook to the gods.

like huh??? his child got a partner?!!!

my kid?!!! IN THESE STREETS?!

he would faint, then wake back up and shake her til she’s dizzy.

ok but on a more serious note, i think if he saw his daughter have genuine feelings for this person they’re with, he would support a 100%

definitely wants to meet them asap

would chaperone their dates but in a way that’s soooo cliché. i mean ugly ass disguises cliché.

will definitely have a heart attack if his daughters partner used the fake ‘yawn-over-the-shoulder’ move while at the movies.

all his daughter would hear is someone choking horrendously a few rooms behind them and instantly know it’s her dad.

will call the boys up every time she asks him to go on a date with their partner or if they can come over to hang and study.

“i’m at a lost here! it’s like i’m in the war!” jin exaggerates on the group call with his friends.

“hyung, i think you’re over exaggerating.” jungkook would say sheepishly.

with the straightest face, jin would hang up and contemplate his choice in friends.

after about the sixth month mark, i do think he’d let up a tremendous amount.

like he’s no longer breathing down her neck about them and allows them to go on dates without him, so long as she tells him where they’re going.

10/10 is the dramatic dad that goes through a midlife crisis when their daughter starts dating.

➝︎ yoongi

mans does not care.

ok lemme clarify, he doesn’t care to the extent that jin does. he trusts his daughter and her decisions and understands that this is an important part of her life. he’s gonna try his hardest to not overstep.

but deep down, he definitely is having a hard time coming to grasps that his daughter is in love and starting to enter the dating world.

he understands the pressures surrounding dating too, especially at fifteen. so he’s definitely giving a nice lil lecture about sex, safe sex, consensual sex, and commitment.

and yes, yoongi knows that most of these young love relationships don’t last long, but he wants his daughter to know that her relationship is legit to him. no matter how old she is.

will look intimidating af to their daughters bf or gf. he definitely overhears them discussing if yoongi likes them or not 💀

looks like he could kill you and will but is also such a sweetheart once you actually know him.

doesn’t do no undercover brother shit but will follow his daughter on their first few dates just because he’s worried. isn’t overbearing and keeps a good distance.

honestly, if anything it brings his daughter a lot of comfort to know her dad is there to back her up 🙂

100%!is the father that seems like they’re chill on the surface but on the inside is working overtime to not be overreactive when their child starts dating.

➝︎ namjoon

is literally the 😯 emoji

when his daughter tells him that she’s got a lover, he literally looks exactly like that emoji.

he’s like “love? what you know about that?”

is extremely confused the entire time. yes, he knows that at her age, children start experimenting with dating but he never actually thought he’d have to deal with it.

was definitely worried that he’d lose out on daddy-daughter time once she started dating.

that was his biggest fear. that his daughter wouldn’t need him anymore. she would no worries.

is deathly afraid of his daughter experiencing heartbreak. their s/o could be the perfect match for his kid, he still wouldn’t care. namjoon is going to be worried regardless.

constantly asks for updates on their relationship to see if he needs to give any advice on how to keep the relationship going.

he doesn’t see their love as something immature. namjoon values it the same way he would value an adult relationship.

which meansss giving them the birds n the bees. same as yoongi, a thorough talk on sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, safe sex, you name it.

was incredibly nervous to meet the person their daughter was dating 💀 like how you supposed to be the daddy but more scared than the actual date.

chaperones his daughter’s first couple of dates. doesn’t get in their way but definitely makes his presence known when does attend.

has a strict “have her home by 9 or else” policy.

won’t ground their child if they give them a heads up on why they would be late.

is 100% the type to be the “work in progress” dad that wishes there was a book on what to do when your teenage daughter starts dating.

➝︎ hobi

mans was like “awww my wittle baby likes somebody!”

was wayyy more excited about meeting their child’s s/o then what is deemed normal.

don’t get me wrong, he’s definitely protective of his kid but hobi understands that these things happen.

it was bound to happen that one day his daughter would start dating.

doesn’t hound his child with questions but is very curious to learn more about this bf/gf that their daughter has.

when he meets them, he’s very scary looking at first. switching into serious hobi, he intimidates the kid just a bit before breaking into a grin and letting them know he was kidding.

is the type of dad that would make their daughters’ s/o fall in love with him 💀

hobi gets along with virtually anyone so it wasn’t hard for him to bond with the s/o.

however, he does make it known that he is a father and while the kid seems to be an alright choice for his daughter, he still lets them know that he will go liam neeson on a motherfucker if necessary.

doesn’t follow his daughter on dates but somehow ends up attending some of them because they both want him around.

on the times he doesn’t go, there is a curfew in place and it’s 8 o’clock 😔

hobi is 100% the dad to become friends with their daughters’ bf/gf but still be a force to be reckon with when needed.

➝︎ jimin

probably the one who meddles in their daughters love life.

sees their daughter walkout of school with a guy and is asking fifty million questions on who he is and if she likes him.

all for her to turn around and be like “dad, i’m gay.”

and he’s like 🥺🥰 “good, boys are disgusting anyways.”

so now he’s scoping out girls that could be a potential match for his kid 💀

“what about her?”

“nah, she’s a little rude to me.”

“you know what they say! she likes you!”

“no dad. just...no.”

was not expecting the girl his daughter chooses but can totally see it once he actually gets to know her.

is constantly giving his daughter cute date ideas for her to do w her gf. definitely has a pintrest board of places for them.

will happily be a chauffeur for his daughter if necessary. this can be good and bad. good bc yayay free rides. bad because she has to deal with a jimin that wants to be on time or a jimin that makes them ten minutes late to a movie showing. there is no in between.

he doesn’t follow his daughter around. mainly because he’s always driving them but if he doesn’t, she still gives him a heads up on where they’re going.

doesn’t mind them hanging sleepovers or leaving the door closed but will totally pop up at random times to be nosey.

is definitely in his daughters corner anytime someone tries to give her and her gf a hard time for being together.

a 100% the dad that’s constantly involved in his child’s love life but not to an extreme point. is totally just excited to be there and apart of her world.

➝︎ taehyung

the motherfucker is all smug and shit talking about some “ i know ” 😏 when his daughter approaches him about her new partner.

lets be real; taehyung would know his daughter like the back of his hands. he would have suspicions that she’s seeing somebody but won’t pressure her to speak until she’s ready.

acts like the fbi when he finally meets their daughter’s partner.

is stalking all social media, finding where they work, who they guardians are, and where they grandma stay 💀🤣

but it’s really because he knows how dangerous people are and the last thing he wants is for his kids’ life to be in danger.

is definitely a hard ass to whoever his daughter ends up dating regardless of gender. will go major payne on a motherfucker real quick.

does not care if he gets caught watching out for his daughter while she’s on a date. will deadass sit there and stare them down as they look at him, completely unbothered.

after meeting their partner a few times, he’ll become a bit more loose in regards to their relationship but will still eye them wearily.

his daughter is very important to him and he’s just worried about any potential heartbreak she may experience.

“have you ever killed?”

“uh, no sir. i-i’m only fifteen...sir.”

kisses teeth, “would you kill for my daughter?”

*beat of silence, two horrified teenagers*

scoffs, “pathetic. d/n choose a new partner.”

“dad!”

seems like a hard ass and is a hard ass but it’s completely out of love.

is 100% the dad that gives their daughter’s partner a hard time and will hold such a passive face that they’ll never know if he likes them or not, but overtime will start loosening up and accept them for who they are.

➝︎ jungkook

he was thoroughly surprised.

like...she might as well had told him she was pregnant.

jk needed a moment to comprehend that his daughter...his precious jewel was dating.

just the thought sent chills down his spine with his dramatic ass.

immediately demanded to meet the person who stole his daughter from him. and when he found out it was the bad kid from school??!!! mans was heated.

i mean really? the juvenile delinquent of ALL people?

he feels this way mainly because he remembers how he was as a kid and he knows how anal teenagers can be. really just wants the best for his kid.

is present for their first date. why is that? because it was at their house with him sitting on the opposite couch, watching them like a hawk as they attempted to watch a movie.

after that, his daughter had a serious talk with him about personal space and independence.

jungkook didn’t like the fact that he had to have this talk, but he understands it’s importance. him and his daughter have a sacred bond with one another that he doesn’t wanna risk breaking all because of his overprotectiveness.

that overprotectiveness does come in handy though because their daughters’ partner is always on time when it comes to getting her and dropping her off. honestly, if his daughter ever tried to convince their partner to skip curfew, their partner would text jungkook to snitch 💀

“so...you tried to skip curfew, eh?”

“wha-? how do you know this?!”

smirks, “i see all d/n. besides, your partner knows not to cross that line with me.”

“i literally cannot stand either of you.”

this has definitely led the daughter to question if she has a relationship or if her dad has a relationship with her s/o.

after about three months of them dating, jungkook turns into a pretty chill dad to be real. at that point, he understands that he can’t protect her from pain. so, he might as well just try his best to support his daughter through everything she does.

is 100% that is overly dramatic at first and comes off as incredibly scary but eventually comes down to earth and becomes a big teddy bear 🥰

❧ join my taglist: @olamidey @knjkitten @pimpnameyannie @sweeneyblue1 @sunrayyellowhalo @exomama-random @simplyskz-maya @valkryienymph @supop @namjoonswifeyy @asparagusclifford

[antebunny]

April 25: ribbons

A Swan Maiden Fairy Tale Fusion

Lan Wangji is a huntsman who happens upon a pond in the woods. He sees this epic coat thing made from raven feathers on the banks and goes “wow this is so cool and so pretty i should give it to my brother” and picks it up. Then he sees this guy on the shore and freaks out wondering if he’s dead, but he’s not, he’s just unconscious & naked. So Lan Wangji wraps him up and brings him home, because he’s nice. Then the guy wakes up, introduces himself as “wei ying, courtesy wuxian”, sees the feather cloak and says “nice…cloak you got there”

“it is a gift for my brother”

“ah. Right…when’s ur brother getting here?”

“i will visit him when the snow melts”

“k. Cool. guess im staying here until then”

“can you not go home?”

Wei Wuxian eyes crinkle like he’s sharing a private joke: “Not until the snow melts”

Lan Wangji is a good host and doesn’t know how he feels about this guy just declaring that he’ll live with him for the next several months but…okay.

Lan Wangji finds out very quickly that Wei Wuxian isn’t normal, and it doesn't take him long after that to guess that Wei Wuxian also isn’t entirely human. He’s a very bad houseguest, he just sits, doesn’t know how to cook or anything really, and talks at Lan Wangji while Lan Wangji makes them breakfast. He follows Lan Wangji everywhere he goes with no explanation, just invites himself along. He talks while Lan Wangji is trying to hunt but somehow that doesn’t scare away the game. He flinched the first time Lan Wangji’s arrow found a mark, and insisted on honoring the fallen bird before returning. He passes time whistling and carves himself a flute, they play duets and Lan Wangji finds himself composing something on his guqin in the early morning while Wei Wuxian is still asleep on the floor. Wei Wuxian introduces him to spice, which he hates, but watching Wei Wuxian’s face light up isn’t something he thinks he can ever get tired of.

Wei Wuxian talks a lot about his home and his family, which is apparently a port by a river delta, which is how Lan Wangji learns that Wei Wuxian a very good swimmer, like everyone else there, and that he and his brother are constantly pushing each other in the lake, that he goes out to the pier to drink at night, that he has the best big sister who makes lotus and pork rib soup and stops Wei Wuxian from fighting with his brother, who is an angery smol one but also the best little brother ever (how this is possible, Lan Wangji doesn’t know, it’s clear Wei Wuxian loves his brother even if he spends most of the time making fun of him)

Lan Wangji doesn’t understand why Wei Wuxian can’t return to this home he’s heard so much about, doesn’t know why he found Wei Wuxian abandoned & naked by the side of the pond, but decides that Wei Wuxian is magic and it’s a magic pond, and if his family would leave him in that state, they don’t deserve him. He works up the courage to ask “wei ying. When the snow melts. Stay with me.” and Wei Wuxian is Conflicted bc he likes Lan Wangji and would like to stay but hates that he has to and maybe won’t see his family ever again. In the end all he says is “okay” and Lan Wangji is Very Happy. He also sees Wei Wuxian eyeing the feather cloak often but he already said he’d give it to his brother and doesn’t know how to offer it to Wei Wuxian. But then Wei Wuxian says “guess you’re not giving it to your brother now” which is basically how Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian asks for things so he just nods vaguely.

Wei Wuxian guesses pretty early that Lan Wangji doesn’t know the full extent of what he’s done, and he clearly doesn’t know who Wei Wuxian is, but that’s not surprising. He decides not to tell him, because why would he? On the off-chance that Lan Wangji will just...give it back to him? Wei Wuxian has heard the Swan Maiden tale, he's has seen the worst parts of humanity; he can’t trust that.

It’s been raining a lot recently, which means Lan Wangji has less opportunity to hunt, and it’s harder to hunt after rain. He goes to the nearest town to trade when his supplies get too low (Wei Wuxian comes with obviously) and there the gossip is that some villagers swear up and down that they saw purple lightning (Wei Wuxian isn’t surprised, just sighs and says “of course”) which means that Sandu Shengshou is angry! And that the Lady of Lotus Blossoms, who usually blesses typical goddess things like matchmaking and fertility/childbirth, has 1) stopped and 2) started leaving white lotus blossoms behind, which means that she’s mourning which is sad and terrible! (Wei Wuxian agrees that her being sad is terrible and gets misty-eyed. Lan Wangji wasn’t aware that Wei Wuxian held her in such high regard).

In town, Wei Wuxian gets Lan Wangji better deals, flirts with some girls which makes Lan Wangji sad for unknown reasons, gets harassed by some guys which is how Lan Wangji confirms that Wei Wuxian is not human/magic bc in the dark & rainy night his eyes looked red and his teeth in the moonlight looked too long and too sharp, and no one heard from Wen Chao again. Lan Wangji also buys him clothes

The snow melts. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian set off to visit Lan Xichen. Wei Wuxian isn’t wearing the cloak and Lan Wangji doesn’t understand why? But doesn’t ask because he never does. They get to the lake where Lan Wangji found Wei Wuxian and wait for Lan Xichen to meet them there, meanwhile Wei Wuxian hisses at a peacock and talks to a sparrow (Lan Wangji doesn’t question it. He never does), then Lan Xichen arrives and at the same time purple lightning flashes and a young man descends from the sky dressed in rich purple silks followed by a lady dressed in lavender and rose pink. they’re easily recognizable as Sandu Shengshou, the Lord of the heavenly Lotus Pier, and the Lady of Lotus Blossoms, his sister and the Lady of Lotus Pier. Lan Xichen is like “wangji wtf is going on” meanwhile Jiang Cheng accuses Lan Wangji of kidnapping his brother, and Jiang Yanli is like “we’re willing to bargain for our brother back. what do you want?”

Lan Wangji: "If he’s ur brother why did you abANDON him"

Jiang Cheng: "how DARE we’ve been searching for him for MONTHS ever since you TOOK him"

"i found him abandoned so i took him home to PROTECT him"

"that’s a fancy way of saying you decided to keep him like an exotic pet"

"i did no such thing"

"then why did you keep that!?" Jiang Cheng points at the feather cloak and everyone looks

Lan Xichen: "oh no"

Lan Wangji: "what"

Lan Xichen: "wangji. the swan maiden"

Lan Wangji: *remembers the story about the swan maiden who left her swan feathers by the side of the pond while she bathed and the huntsman who took her feathers and thus took her, forced her to marry him and bear him three children, before she found her feathers, after which she yeeted outta there with her three children and never left the heavens again, leaving huntsman to die of a broken heart.*

Lan Wangji hadn’t even considered it, maybe because Wei Wuxian was sleeping and therefore didn’t beg for the feather cloak back, maybe bc he made a weak joke instead of flat-out asking Lan Wangji what he planned to do, maybe because his wasn’t pure and white but rather made of raven feathers and pitch black

Also Wei Wuxian got roaring drunk that’s how he ended up there. Jiang Cheng is like “just bc my brother is the stupidest dumb person to ever idiot–” “hey!” “does not mean you can just taKE ADVANTAGE of him”

Anyway Lan Wangji freaks tf out and practically throws the feather cloak back at Wei Wuxian, who hasn’t been meeting his eyes and not saying anything this whole time and tries to apologize. Jiang Yanli grabs it and her brother and walks into the lake, pink and cream lotus blossoms blooming under her feet; she doesn’t sink under the surface. She stands in the middle and they both go under. Then Wei Wuxian arises in his full black-and-red glory, Jiang Cheng shoots Lan Wangji one last glare and then the three of them promptly disappear into the heavens

Lan Xichen holds Lan Wangji for the first time in years while he cries. He stutters his way through an explanation of what happened the past three months, saying again and again that he didn’t know, he noticed that Wei Wuxian wasn’t human and a little bit magic but he didn’t expect this and he didn’t realize that he was preventing Wei Wuxian from leaving. Lan Xichen says things like “i believe you” and “you’re not a terrible person, you just made a terrible mistake”

Eventually Lan Wangji stops hyperventilating, and that’s when a flock of crows leaves their roosts, the wind shrieks, and Wei Wuxian descends again. Lan Wangji doesn’t understand how Wei Wuxian could possibly forgive him, or how someone like Wei Wuxian could possibly take interest in a lonely huntsman like Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian holds his hand out and says that he promised to take Lan Wangji on a tour of his home (lotus pier!!), and his eyes do that thing and he says “well? Are you coming?” and how can Lan Wangji say no?

[lunar-lair]

ok say hello to my insanely new oc who ive made entirely to be a villain who is still an excellent adult and a decent parent, probably. cares too much abt kids. think reigen mob psycho with a drop or two of milla. worked under Nick From The Mailroom and was actually in on his scheme.

has always been rather cold and brash towards adults, but is more caring towards kids. in my brain he has a brooklyn type accent? rough and tumble, walks around without a tie, yknow? they keep him cause he sorts mail real good, though.

(added a read more because this got INSANELY LONG AKSKSK i spent like an hr on this h)

he was a delugeionist, but only because he kinda just wanted to rip the world apart a little; lysandre vibes, thinks a lot of it is scum and needs to go. thinks the *psychonauts* are scum and need to go. hes psychic but suppressed it, think aquato parents but extra toxic about it, and straight up just saying being psychic is unnatural. wouldnt go to loboto parent lengths tho. so he adopted that thought of 'being psychic is unnatural and wrong', which contributed to a lot of self hate that was never learned out. likely, he realizes hes a shitty person and thinks he needs to go too. so like...yknow hank, dbh? kinda the vibe im gettin right now. way more formal, of course, and while usually gruff, is more polite when its needed; can and *will* beat the shit out of you verbally in a factual way, though, and can talk more street-lingo if hes talkin to real thugs. (probably winged it on his own after failing college or smth, hes got the vibes.)

anyways, its this plot where he slinks off and starts planting mistrust in the psychonauts or something. and inevitably he just...shows up and starts kidnapping people. dismantling things from the inside and all that. he left and formed a group who also hated psychics at some point, likely friends of his parents and friends of friends, all from his hometown. all of them fight *insanely* dirty, and a lot of them are insanely vulgar. the kids are supposed to be kept away.

but theres a line to follow here.

this man is a fold to raz. hates the psychonauts, hates being psychic, adopted his parent's hate of psychics, hates the *world.* raz is young and unburdened and unjaded...mostly. hes not the shock of water some young characters can be when it comes to being the foils of other characters; think steven with a villain or something, right? but raz is sassy and a little jaded, and not total sunshine positivity.

hes a child this man could look down on and not be immediately annoyed by, who is worried by yet respects raz's realization of the world as it is, however little that is.

and yet raz is still his foil. he still mostly loves the psychonauts, despite it all, he loves being psychic, for the most part, he dodged adopting his parents previous values, he still seems to have an even view of the world as a whole.

raz is jaded, if only a little, but he moved past it and accepted that things could still be bright. this man is jaded, but he stayed in his stormclouds, never looked for the sun.

ok where. was i. RIGHT ok so. at the beginning of this...story? the man finds raz being talked down to by one of the office workers; someone with weak psychic powers whos insanely jealous of his prowess. an adult who envies the young prodigy. and theyre giving him some insane task to do, like cleaning all of the closets within the hour, but hes saved the world twice, so he smiles and nods along, because he said he would help around the motherlobe, and this adult is asking him to do something that seems simple enough.

and this guy, internally, goes 'bitch.' for a good long second bc 1. dude even if you envy a kid, kinda fucked to show that?? not their fault 2. WHY are you asking a 10 year old to do that. why is there a 10 year old here. holy shit thats a 10 year old oh my god hes so tiny (no one told him there was a 10 year old because they knew hed stomp right up to management but. regardless. he is going to stomp up to management after this and no one can really stop him. except maybe raz well see)

so yknow. dude fixes his slight slouch and walks forward and politely tells this woman that 1. hes 10 why are you jealous of him and 2. hes 10????????? and shes like shit hes 10. and apologizes. and walks away

and raz is VERY ?? bc she was doing what? why is him being 10 important? and its that young part of you that gets pissed when people try to keep you from doing things because youre young and hes DEFINITELY yet to learn that piling responsibilites that should be handled by adults onto a child is fucked up in its own special way (looking at you ford, *nick*)

and the dude calmly explains because yea. he gets that. and he still sounds gruff and a little peeved but he squats down to razs height and he talks simply and factually, telling him straight on why it isnt right.

and. huh. people dont really do that for raz. except for sasha, sometimes, everyone likes to dodge the truth a lot with him, because hes 10, and sometimes, hes too nice to tug it out of them.

and this guy, this man that raz is already polishing a trophy for 'good adulting' in the back of his brain with his striking statements about how adults should handle things and kids should-kids should...get to have fun. not be traumatized.

for the shock on his face when raz said hed already saved the world a couple times, whats some closets. he reigned it in, said that its weird he saved the world, because thats usually their jobs.

and this guy offers his hand on instict before he stands up, even though he doesnt seem very sweet and kind like the adults that usually offer raz a hand. and he takes it, i think. he takes it.

warm. warm, a little nice.

reminds raz of his dad, maybe. he wonders if this man has any kids himself, but keeps his mouth shut, because he thinks he already has the answer, and its yes.

(he doesnt have any. he would wish he did, but he knows hed fail to raise them right.)

and when he stands, he asks raz what he was asking that woman for, and he says hes doing tasks around the motherlobe because his papers are still coming in. the man doesnt ask. (he knows what 'papers' means, realizes this is the tiny junior psychonaut every room in the damn place has been buzzing about, and he has fucking words for forsythe.) he just offers for the kid to sort mail under his supervision.

and that sounds boring. at least, it usually would.

this man is interesting, and a good...person? a good adult? hes...hes new. hes new, and calm, and a little like sasha but a lot not, and he thinks he trusts him.

so raz grins and says yea, mail sorting sounds nice.

(debatably, raz does not take his hand. hes too jaded when it comes to adults. debatably, he does not feel any warmth from this man who has taught him every adult has been telling him wrong. debatably, im projecting. but thats the whole point of ocs, hm?)

and then holes crop up in motherlobe systems. people are kidnapped.

raz keeps seeing the strange man, keeps telling him things, keeps hearing back, gruff and factual and a little annoyed, but raz can almost-just-barely tell its not at him, with the way he talks.

he can tell. he can tell.

he can never tell. this man is making sure he can tell.

raz trusts the man, is still polishing that trophy for 'best adulting' he has settling in the back of his mind.

and then the man comes with a militia.

he did not seem jaded. he did not seem hateful. he never showed any anger or hate towards raz.

but thats because he knows kids dont deserve it.

an excellent moral or two. a rotten, broken heart.

and at first, they keep the kids away, because these people fight dirty, because this isnt their battle, because the man has been sending emails about why 15 year olds are in a secret psychic agency.

(he does not mention raz. by razs second visit, he had just marked the boy down as another reason to hate the psychonauts as a whole, and especially its higher ups.

hes also regretting his alliance to nick by about the third. if he had known the man would puppet a child as if they were a toy, he would have organized his own rebellion ages ago.)

but eventually, the psychonauts need all hands on deck.

they send the children to find the missing agents.

the interns are fought on the way. some of them avoid the child, know the boss would pummel them.

they get to the base, and the strange man, the one with the broken trophy for 'best adult' (still barely-polished, because hes still so sure) still nestled in the back of razs brain, is still there.

the junior psychonauts are spotted. one of the guards throws a few rocks aimlessly.

they surprise them. one almost hits raz.

its intercepted instead.

and the other junior psychonauts watch as this man, their enemy, a villain, in their eyes, reprimands the other man for even accidentally daring, for even trying. for doing something they might have done just a month or so ago, if they had decided he was too much weirder than they already had.

and he yells something like, "Why the hell is he even here?! This is an enemy base, of whats a rebellion! This is a *10 year old*! What kind of adult sends a child *near* something like that?!" and he truly sounds angry this time, raz finds. hes too angry to keep it in. he still sounds gruff and oddly proper. raz is standing there, arms hanging. hes baffled in a specific way, the way he was every time the man's brow furrowed when he mentioned a harrowing story, the way he was the first day they met.

and he asks, a little quiet, a little small, a reminder of how young he really is, "Why are you still trying to keep me safe? We're supposed to be enemies now."

And his brow furrows further before flattening out, and he tilts onto one leg, and he swears he almost kneels to a knee.

He cant believe it. He really cant.

"You're 10." he says simply, softly, that factual way. "You shouldn't even be here."

and raz pauses. the interns freeze.

"...well, here I am."

and i think...it would be so intriguing if this was done halfway out of the mind, because this man is so against anything psychic. it would be so *compelling.*

so raz steps forward and asks again, asks why hes doing this.

and the mans eyes harden, he tries to turn off that soft heart, trying to remind himself of all that he hates. because he hates the psychonauts, because he sort of hates the world.

and raz asks why he could ever hate the psychonauts, head tilted, before listing off the few he knows to be true. but other than that, how? and ok, the world sucks a little, yea, hes seen that, gets that.

and he appreciates that this kid isnt totally gung ho about existence.

but he hates that he isnt, too.

and its this back and forth. everything the man hates, why he hates it. raz saying why its good but admitting why its bad.

and hes swayed, just a little.

but the man stands up from the kneel hed inevitably instinctively put himself into, and walks forward, hand held out yet again.

"You shouldn't be in the Psychonauts," he tells him, soft, factual, brow furrowed. "Come with me. I'll bring you back to your parents, or wherever it is you want to go."

raz contemplates. thinks, for a long moment.

he grabs the mans hand, warm and firm, yet again, for a terrifying moment.

before he reaches up to slap a mental door on his forehead, and astral projects into it.

he thinks this man is good. thinks hes just jaded.

thinks hes the best adult hes ever met, one who just happens to hate a lot of things.

hes only 10.

hes not letting someone who can tell him so clearly whats wrong and right for adults to tell him go that easily.

aaaand yknow. raz does his razzy thing. learns about why the guy hates the world and the psychonauts and himself. helps him learn that its not all bad, that he was excellent to raz, and still is, that things can be bad and good all at once.

the man concedes that raz is very capable, very smart, and can do a lot. but that doesnt mean he should have to.

raz tells him, though, that he likes working for the psychonauts. its his dream. and he realizes some things he was told to do were kinda screwed up, now. that maybe, in honesty, he was dealt a bad hand.

but hes done what he can with that hand, and he ended up with a royal flush.

and uh! yknow!! then raz leaves his mind and he calls off the rebellion! its like a rhombus of ruin type adventure, except without the villain being present beforehand. its just not clustered in insanely close with a ton of other wild shit.

anyways this got really long? sorry?? its an oc i just saw good adult and slight father vibe potential in the vibe i instantly got on him and then i went feral???? rip maybe someone will read this and if you did. congrats i honestly really liked how the whole foil and good-yet-bad and consideration of raz being 10 thing worked out. this oc is almost like our representative in the psychonauts world the way reigen is for the audience in mp100. yea :) i match them up a lot but thats just cause they vibe a lot. anyways its 1:40 am now and i spent abt an hour on this hope it vibed mildly byeeee

[dwellordream]

“…It is at this point that we find the first reference in the sources to Livia’s father, Marcus. He was evidently an energetic opportunist, for he hitched his wagon to the triumvirate and was sent—or at least had reasonable expectations of being sent—on a mission to Alexandria in 59 bc to raise funds. Marcus had perhaps just shortly before married Alfidia, and on January 30 of either 59 or 58 he became a father, with the birth of his daughter, Livia.

The month and day of Livia’s birth are established by inscriptions of the post-Julian period as a.d.III Kal. Febr., the third day before the first of February, reckoned inclusively. This date is by convention given as January 30 in the modern calendar system, although there is in reality no truly satisfactory way of expressing it, because in the pre-Julian calendar January had only twenty-nine days. The year is more problematic. The place of birth is even more obscure; we have no direct hint of where it might have been. The absence of any boast in extant inscriptions from a town proudly claiming distinction as her birthplace, and the lack of speculation in the literary sources, suggest that she might have been born in Rome.

Livia’s father is next heard of in 54, when he was prosecuted for improper legal practices (depraevaricatione) but acquitted through the efforts of Cicero— the kind of case, as Tacitus notes, that does not later arouse much interest. In any event, the publicity does not seem to have impeded his career. By 50 he was praetor, or iudex quaestionis (president of a court), presiding over a case being tried under the Scantinian law, which covered prohibited sexual activity.

Although there are grounds for suspecting that he might have been wealthy, through his adoptive father or his wife, he seems to have fallen into some financial difficulties at about this time, and we later find him trying to sell his gardens to Cicero. Marcus was a hard bargainer, but he met his match in the famous orator, who was determined to come out best in the deal. …on the Ides of March, 44 bc, Caesar was assassinated. It was probably not long after this pivotal moment in Roman history that a pivotal event took place in Livia’s life also, her first marriage. Indeed, because nothing at all is known of Livia’s early life apart from her birth, this is the first incident that the historian can infer.

Her husband, Tiberius Claudius Nero, belonged to the less distinguished branch of the patrician Claudians. As we have seen, the last consulship the family could claim was in 202 bc. Very little has been passed down about Tiberius Nero’s immediate forebears, although we know from a very fragmentary inscription that his father was also a Tiberius. The older Tiberius Nero served in 67 bc as legate of Pompey against the pirates, with command at the Straits of Gibraltar, and in 63 made a speech against the summary execution without trial of the associates of Catiline, who had been exposed by Cicero in a major conspiracy. Their family names leave little doubt that Livia and her husband must have been related.

How closely is far from clear, although some scholars assert with confidence that they were cousins. Tiberius Nero might have seemed a good marriage prospect. Cicero speaks of him having the qualities of an adulescentis nobilis, ingeniosi, abstinentis (a young man of noble family, of native talent, and moderation) and remarks that there was no one among the noble families he regarded more highly. (Of course, these warm testimonials appear in a letter of recommendation, a common repository of inflated praise.) Tiberius Nero makes his own entry into history in 54 bc.

In that year a Pompeian supporter, Aulus Gabinius, returned from Syria after a governorship that seems to have been marked by administrative incompetence and large-scale bribery, a common enough situation in many of the provinces of the late republic. Gabinius became the celebrity of the year, denounced by Cicero and hounded in a series of showy trials. Before his trial for extortion (de repetundis) there was a scramble for the high-profile role of prosecutor, and Tiberius Nero competed against Gaius Memmius and Mark Antony. The contest was keen and Cicero comments on Tiberius Nero’s fine effort and the quality of his supporters. But Cicero anticipated that Memmius would win out, and was proved right. The outcome marked Tiberius Nero down in this first highly public incident as a worthy failure, a characterization that could probably be applied to his whole career.

In late 51 or early 50 he visited Asia, where he had a number of clients, and he called on Cicero during the latter’s governorship of Cilicia. At this time the tortuous negotiations for the third marriage of Cicero’s daughter Tullia were under way. Tiberius Nero seems to have made a strong impression on his host, to judge from the warm letter of recommendation that Cicero wrote for him to Gaius Silius, propraetor of Bithynia and Pontus.

The young man declared an interest in Tullia and obtained her father’s consent for the match. Messengers were despatched to Rome to give mother and daughter the happy news. Unfortunately, Tiberius’ hostile daemon intervened—it seems that before he left, Cicero had told Tullia and her mother to arrange the negotiations in Rome themselves, and because he was going to be away for so long in his province, not to feel obliged to refer the issue to him. The messengers arrived in Rome just in time to miss Tullia’s engagement party.

Tiberius Nero would probably have been a better choice than his successful rival, the seedy Dolabella, a ruthless adherent of Caesar’s and a man whose career was enlivened by dissipation and debts. Cicero had approved of Tiberius Nero as a potential prosecutor in the Gabinius case because of his stand against the power block represented by Caesar and Pompey (and Crassus). By 48 bc he was doubtless dismayed when his young champion displayed the often crass opportunism typical of the period. Putting his support behind Julius Caesar, Tiberius Nero signed up as his quaestor and commanded the fleet at Alexandria. As a reward for his services he received a senior priesthood and in 46 was given responsibility for founding colonies at Caesar’s behest in Narbonese Gaul, including Narbo and Arelate.

He might have seemed to the outside world to be on an upward trajectory, but cruel fate intervened. The Ides of March in 44 and the assassination of Caesar changed the destiny of many besides Caesar himself. Tiberius Nero had to make a career choice, and characteristically made the wrong one. Perhaps under the influence of Livia’s father, he followed the course of many Caesarian supporters and jumped sides, hitching his wagon to the assassins’ team, even proposing special honours for the killers.

We do not know for certain when Tiberius Nero and Livia were married. The normal age of marriage for women at this period seems generally to have been in the late teens, but in upper-class families marriage at fifteen was probably the norm, and even earlier marriages were common in aristocratic circles, when there was a political advantage to the match. By this reckoning Livia, depending on her date of birth, might have reached a marriageable age in 46 or 45. But this earlier date may not have been possible if Tiberius Nero was serving in Gaul at that time. The birth of their first son in November 42 gives us a limit, and places the marriage probably in 43, when Livia was fifteen or sixteen. Her husband would likely have been in his late thirties. The marriage took place during the dramatic aftermath of Caesar’s assassination.

Two men competed to fill the vacuum left by his death. One was Caesar’s lieutenant Mark Antony. The other was his great-nephew, Octavian, named his heir and adopted son in his will, the man destined to transform the character of the Roman state and to become Livia’s second husband. He was born Gaius Octavius, on September 23, 63 bc, in Rome. Although malicious gossip claimed that his great-grandfather was a freedman and rope maker, the family, though not distinguished, was well-to-do. The Octavii originated from the Volscian town of Velitrae, two days’ journey south of Rome. His father, also Gaius Octavius, was a prosperous banker, a member of the entrepreneurial middle class that largely constituted what is known as the equestrian order.

…Octavius had been in Apollonia for a few months only when a messenger arrived from his mother with the dramatic news that Caesar had been murdered. He decided to return to Italy at once with a few friends, including Marcus Agrippa. In Brundisium he learned from letters sent by his mother and stepfather that he had inherited most of Caesar’s estate and, more significantly, had been adopted as his son. His family advised him to decline the adoption, perceptively anticipating the political firestorm that it would create. He did not follow their advice and proceeded to Rome. He now began to style himself Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus, following the Roman custom of assuming the name of the adoptive parent with a form of the original gens appended.

The adoption fuelled Octavian’s ambitions, and its importance to him is demonstrated by his desperate efforts to have it confirmed. The adoption of relatives or even of nonrelatives was a well-established tradition in Rome, and adopted sons and daughters naturally styled themselves henceforth as children of the adoptive, not the natural father. But testamentary adoption, which later played a significant part in Livia’s own career, seems to have been in a dubious category of its own. The ancient evidence is not explicit, and the ancient jurists are silent on the matter, but it seems that adoption stipulated in a will was almost certainly not an adoption in the full sense of the word, but mainly a device to allow for the inheritance of property on condition that the adopted child assume the name of the legator.

This ambiguity explains why Octavian was determined at all costs to have the status of the adoption legally ratified. He attempted to do this soon after his arrival in Rome and took on as an ally in his campaign Antony, who pretended to be making every effort to have the appropriate law passed but was in fact doing everything he could to block it. When Octavian became consul, in May 43, one of his first measures was to have the proposed law presented to the popular assembly. The symbolic importance of the adoption cannot be stressed enough. In practice he ignored the final element of his name, Octavianus, and preferred to use only Gaius Julius Caesar. Although clearly an unfriendly source, Antony was not far off the mark when he said of him et te, o puer, qui omnia nomini debes (and you, lad, who owe everything to a name).

And more was to come. There is evidence that Caesar might have received divine honours even before his death. At all events, in 42 posthumous divine honours were granted him. Henceforth, Octavian could style himself not only as the son of Julius Caesar but as the son of Divus (the deified) Julius. The following years did in a sense vindicate his parents’ reservations, for conflict arose between Octavian and Antony in their zeal to assume Caesar’s mantle, a struggle that was punctuated by a series of pacts but was not resolved finally until the suicide of Antony in 30 bc following the decisive battle of Actium.

The struggle between powerful and ambitious Roman political and military leaders in the last century of the republic inevitably embroiled the rest of the population, especially Romans of prominence, who, as is usually the case in a civil war, found it impossible to stand on the sidelines of the conflict. It also brought tragedy into Livia’s life. Nothing explicit is known about her father Marcus’ stand during the clashes between Caesar and Pompey or during the ascendancy of Caesar. Shackleton-Bailey has tentatively suggested that Marcus was a Caesarian, but whatever loyalty he might have felt certainly did not survive the dictator’s death, when he emerges as a champion of the tyrannicides. In 43 we find him one of the sponsors of a senatorial decree to give command of two legions to the assassin Decimus Brutus.

By the end of that year he had been proscribed by the triumvirs. He fled east to join Brutus and Cassius and shared with them their final defeat at Philippi. He personally survived, but afterwards reputedly died a courageous death. Refusing to ask for mercy, he committed suicide in his tent. We do not know what happened to Marcus Livius’ property. Livia may have been his only natural child, but there are strong grounds for believing that in the absence of a natural son, Marcus before his death arranged in his will for the adoption of Marcus Livius Drusus Libo (consul in 15 bc). Libo’s natural father, Lucius Scribonius Libo, later demonstrated powerful political connections.

…In the meantime, the conduct of Livia’s husband, Tiberius Nero, highlighted the two dominant traits in his makeup: an inordinate opportunism and a penchant for guaranteeing that whatever opportunity he seized, it would be an injudicious choice. He did not follow Marcus in sticking to his principles to the bitter end. Once he recognised that the plight of the assassins was hopeless, he broke away from his father-in-law’s position. The struggle for supremacy now clearly lay between Octavian and Marc Antony, and Tiberius Nero opted to back Antony. He was elected to the praetorship in 42, but following a dispute that arose among the triumvirs, he refused at the end of his term to leave office and stayed in place beyond his legally defined period.

Early in the same year, Livia became pregnant. It is said that she was very keen to bear a boy and used a method of determining the sex common among young women of the time: she took an egg from under a brooding hen and kept it warm against her breast. Whenever she had to yield it up, she passed it to her nurse under the folds of their dresses so as not to interrupt the warmth. A cock with a fine crest was hatched, a portent of a vigorous son. Later in the year we have the first specific recorded evidence of her whereabouts. On November 16, 42, the first of her two sons, Tiberius, was born on the Palatine in Rome.

…After the successful campaign against Caesar’s assassins at Philippi, the triumvirs had agreed on areas of command. Marcus Lepidus was restricted to Africa. Antony took the East, where he launched a campaign against the Parthians. Octavian commanded in the West. His task was to restore order in Italy and keep a check on Sextus Pompeius, the younger son of Pompey, who had set himself up with a large fleet in Sicily and had established a haven for fugitives from the triumvirs. Octavian also undertook the grim task of confiscating territory in Italy for the retiring veterans. Antony’s brother Lucius Antonius, and Antony’s wife, Fulvia, became the champions of the dispossessed Italians and sought to instigate an uprising against Octavian; Tiberius Nero joined the effort, and Livia and her son followed him to Perusia, the main centre of opposition.

When Perusia fell in early 40, Tiberius Nero escaped with his family first to Praeneste and then to Naples, where he sought to instigate a slave uprising, helped by Gaius Velleius, the grandfather of the historian. That effort collapsed and the family had a hair-raising escape. As Octavian’s forces broke into the city, the family decided to make a break for it. Velleius, by now old and infirm, was too weary and ran himself through with his own sword. Tiberius Nero and his family set out to make their way stealthily to a ship, avoiding the regular routes and going off into the wilds of the countryside.

On the journey little Tiberius started to cry. There was panic that he might give them away. Livia snatched him from the nurse, and when he still did not settle down, one of her followers seized him from her and apparently saved the day. The ancient authors were quick to spot the irony of Livia fleeing the man she would eventually marry, with a son who would eventually succeed him.

The family did in the end make their escape and went to Sicily. They perhaps hoped that family connections, through Marcus Libo, the brother-in-law of Sextus Pompeius, would stand them in good stead. But if this connection did exist, it did the couple little good, and their reception in Sicily must have been a considerable disappointment. Sextus Pompeius found Tiberius Nero something of an embarrassment and was reluctant even to grant him an audience. Also, perhaps to avoid unnecessary provocation, he ordered Tiberius Nero not to display the fasces, the rods of the office of praetorship, which he had illegally retained in his possession.

Sextus’ sister, perhaps motivated by personal rather than political concerns, was more welcoming, and even gave the little Tiberius a cloak with a clasp and some gold studs. These survived as celebrity items and were exhibited for tourists in the resort town of Baiae until Suetonius’ day. But Tiberius Nero now fell foul of the complex and shifting tide of Roman politics. Octavian, faced with the prospect of a confrontation with Antony, sought to move closer to Sextus Pompeius. Tiberius Nero was obliged to pack his bags once again and go with his wife and infant son to join Antony in the East, where the Claudii Nerones seem to have acquired a large number of clients.

It might have been at this time that Tiberius Nero was proscribed. We certainly know that it happened at some point—Tacitus states so unequivocally, although without providing a date. We cannot be sure why Livia followed her husband into exile, unless for the uncomplicated reason of personal affection. It was certainly expected that wives would either accompany proscribed husbands or stay at home and work on their behalf. But they could not be compelled. By now it must have been apparent to Livia that her husband was not destined for greatness, and it perhaps says something for her strength of character that as a young mother of eighteen or so she seems to have put duty before personal convenience.

The couple were able to get safe passage by joining a distant kin of Livia’s, Lucius Scribonius Libo, who left Sicily to accompany Antony’s mother, Julia, to Athens and allowed Tiberius Nero and his family to sail with him. Antony was perhaps no more eager than Sextus to be lumbered with someone so tainted by failure, and he quickly despatched Tiberius Nero to Sparta, where the Claudii had long enjoyed patronage. Sparta, perhaps because of its ties to the Claudians, offered the couple an extremely cordial welcome, in contrast to their earlier experiences.

Livia was later able to acknowledge their support by rewarding the community for the loyalty it had shown her in times of trouble. But Tiberius Nero was unable to break the habit of a lifetime. Once again they had to flee—the reasons are not known. This time it was by night, through a forest where a fire broke out. The family barely escaped. The event would have been especially memorable to Livia, who ended up with burning hair and a charred dress. In ad 40 Antony and Octavian settled their differences at the Peace of Brundisium, and the compact was sealed by the marriage of Antony and Octavian’s sister, Octavia.

A further, even shorter-lived compact, the Treaty of Misenum, was reached by the triumvirs and Sextus Pompeius in mid-39 bc. It promised an amnesty to those who had sided with Sextus. Livia and her husband were thus able to return to Rome at the same time as Mark Antony. Livia’s mood is not recorded, but it must have been sombre enough. Her father was dead, and she must by now have recognised that her husband’s star had started to set even before it had properly risen.”

- Anthony A. Barrett, “Family Background.” in Livia: First Lady of Imperial Rome

[i-am-not-a-who-i-am-a-what]

there was a moment from yesterday’s episode that set off so many alarm bells in my head and i haven’t seen anyone talking about it yet so i’m going to get my thoughts out there. i’m putting the majority of this post under a readmore bc it got very long thanks to all the transcript quotes i pulled but i really want to know what everyone else thinks about the Implications™

BASIRA

Okay. So… what do we know about Hill Top Road?

ARCHIVIST

Not much.

BASIRA

Another blind spot?

ARCHIVIST

No, it’s – I could look at it, but it… it was… it was like a… a hole. You know that feeling you get when you look down from a, a great height, like you’re being pulled into the abyss?

BASIRA

Kind of?

ARCHIVIST

[Getting lost in thought] Well it was… was like that. Normally I can see it, see the… webs, and feel the power of The Spider emanating from it, but… as I would look… it’s like my mind…. follows the paths of The Web,

[STATIC RISES]

the strands going down and… out… [Catching self] It’s quite disorientating.

[STATIC FADES]

my first thought after hearing this exchange was “huh, that sounds eerily similar to the description of the table the not-them was trapped in.” here it is from mag 3 - across the street:

I’d become enraptured by the table on which he’d placed my tea. It was an ornate wooden thing, with a snaking pattern of lines weaving their way around towards the centre. The pattern was hypnotic and shifted as I watched it, like an optical illusion. I found my eyes following the lines towards the middle of the table, where there was nothing but a small square hole.

my first instinct was that this was some foreshadowing for jon meeting some kind of horrible fate, because well... remember what happened the last time someone got mesmerized by the table?

SASHA

Oh, hey. I’ve found… I’ve found that table you were talking about. Don’t really see what all the fuss is about. Just a… basic… optical illusion. Nothing special… just… just a… wait…

[Hushed and panicked] Jon! Jon, I think there’s someone here. Hello? I see you. Show yourself!

but then i started thinking more about why the table specifically would be referenced, and i remembered the earliest we see it used as artifact of the web, and where: with raymond fielding in hill top road in mag 59 - recluse:

On Sunday evenings, however, we’d all gather for the evening meal, and before we sat down to eat, he would remove the bright white tablecloth that covered it, and we’d gather around the dark wood. I remember it was carved in all sorts of strange swirling designs and patterns. It felt like if you picked a line, any line, you could follow it through to the center, to some deep truth, if only your eye could keep track of the strands that had caught it.

it was while i was checking the transcripts to find the above quote that i also remembered the hole in center of the table that the web pattern leads towards wasn’t always empty - it used to contain a box, and that box contained an apple.

again from again from mag 59:

The center of the table looked, at first, like it was simply part of the wooden top, but if you looked closely, as I did so often, you could see an outline marking the very middle as a small, square box, carved with patterns just like the ones that laced their way over the rest of the table. I don’t remember how long we sat around the table those evenings, nor do I have any memory of what we might have eaten.

...

I reached over and pulled the wooden square from the center of the table. On its own, it appeared to be a small wooden box, and the lid opened smoothly, as my hands moved in a practiced motion. Inside was an apple, green and fresh and still wet with morning dew.

I knew I was going to eat it. I could feel tears desperately trying to push themselves out of my eyes, but I instead decided not to cry. I placed the box down on the table, reached over, and picked up the apple.

the box from the center of the table makes its first appearance in the very first hill top road statement, mag 8 - burned out, where we learn that apparently the apple was full of spiders. 

considering the web’s predilection for filling it’s victim’s bodies with spiders (carlos vittery, annabell cane, the spider husks trevor encountered, the victim of the chelicerae website, the old woman in annabell’s statement, francis, etc.) i think this goes a ways to explain what happened to raymond’s other victims, and what would have happened to mag 59′s statement giver if he’d bitten into the apple:

They lay still now, wrapped in their sticky cocoons. Their bodies seemed warped and bloated in a way I didn’t recognize. But that’s only because at that point in my life, I had never before seen a spider egg sac.

more importantly though, we also learn that the box was buried under the burnt up tree in hill top road’s garden, the one whose uprooting was implied to be linked to agnes’s death: 

STATEMENT

At that moment I made my decision. It was easy, like destroying this tree was the only thing to do, the only path to follow ... When the tree lay on its side, uprooted and powerless, I gazed into the hole where it had sat and noticed something lying there in the dirt.

Climbing down, I retrieved what turned out to be a small wooden box, about six inches square, with an intricate pattern carved along the outside. Engraved lines covered it, warping and weaving together, making it hard to look away.

...

ARCHIVIST

Except… We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree.

and keep in mind that the only reason the statement giver in mag 59 didn’t eat the apple, didn’t succumb to the web... was agnes’s kiss:

As the man in the suit told me to follow him in a clipped BBC accent, Agnes walked over, and gestured for me to lean down and listen to her. I did so, but instead of a conspiratorial whisper, she just gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then ran off down the hall.

...

All at once, my cheek erupted in pain. It was like someone had pressed a hot branding iron into my face, and I could swear that I heard the flesh sizzle as I let out a scream and fell to my knees. I raised my hands to my face and realized in that moment two very important things. The first is that my face seemed to be untouched; I could feel no injury or burn. The second was that raising my hand had been a truly voluntary act. I had willed it myself, and whatever power had been gripping me, tugging me into its web, I was free of it.

at this point you’re probably wondering why i think all this is relevant in terms of what might happen with hill top road, and i have two potential ideas: 

my first idea has to do with the theory that agnes is lingering on as a ghost. this theory isn’t mine, i first encountered it shortly after mag 167 - curiosity aired through this post’s attempt to fix what bits of the timeline were thrown out of wack by the new info. if anyone has any other posts or general thoughts about this theory feel free to share them, i’d love to read them!

this theory is relevant to my speculation that agnes might finally make an appearance because she might have been the ghost seen by one of the statement givers in mag 100 - i guess you had to be there:

MARTIN

Right. Right.

[THROAT CLEARING]

Statement of Lynne Hammond, er, recorded 2nd of May 2017, regarding…

Uh, what, what’s this one about?

LYNNE

I saw a ghost.

MARTIN

O-kay.. Regarding a… a ghost. Statement begins.

who appeared as one of the cultists in mag 190 - scavengers: 

MARTIN

[Puzzled] Celia?

CELIA

Probably. The, um… place I was trapped in, they took my name. I never got it back. But I like Celia, so… yeah! Celia it is.

MARTIN

Uh… H-Hello… Celia.

and was recognized and directly confirmed to be the same person by martin in mag 191 - what we lose:

MARTIN

…

Hey, I meant to ask. Do you recognise that woman, Celia?

ARCHIVIST

Um… no, I, I don’t think so. Why?

MARTIN

I’d swear she gave a statement once.

having her only pop up in mag 190 would have just been a fun easter egg, but having martin directly call out her presence the next episode sounds to me like jonny telling the audience to pay attention, to remember that her statement had to do with the ghost of a young woman on fire who might have been agnes. 

my second idea involves web lighter.

over various statements throughout the previous four seasons we’ve been shown that the web and the desolation have been at war, and hill top road has been their battlefield. the best examples of this come from mag 139 - chosen and mag 149 - infectious doubts respectively. 

on the one hand we have agnes being planted in hill top road by the cult of the lightless flame in an effort to both control her powers and derail the web’s plans, which seems to begin the conflict:

The compromise we came to was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of the Web, full of other children Agnes’ age. We would supervise from a distance, but were confident she would be in no danger. The Mother of Puppets has always suffered at our hand; all the manipulation and subtle venom in the world means nothing against a pure and unrestrained force of destruction and ruin.

and on the other we have the web binding gertrude to agnes, thus thwarting the desolation’s ritual, which also involved hill top road:

ARTHUR

Alright. Agnes. How’d you do it? Never did understand it, not really.

GERTRUDE

Ah. That’s a fair enough question. It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations

... 

So, I began researching what I thought was a counter-ritual of sorts. Like I said, I was young, naive. I somehow found just the right books, made just the right connections, and even got what I thought was a piece of blind good luck when I found a tin box in the ashes of Hill Top Road, containing some perfectly preserved cuttings of her hair.

wouldn’t it seem symbolic, fitting with the dream logic we’ve been working with all season (and that the fears have always tended to work with), if what ended the metaphysical war was an artifact touched by both the web and the desolation? 

say perhaps... a device that creates fire while being marked by a symbol of the spider? one that just so happened to be delivered to the institute at the same time as a certain table?

TIM

Er, what is it?

ARCHIVIST

A lighter. An old Zippo.

TIM

You smoke?

ARCHIVIST

No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!

TIM

Okay. Is there anything unusual about it?

ARCHIVIST

Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You?

TIM

Ah no. No.

ARCHIVIST

Well… show it to the others, see what they think. You said there was something else as well?

TIM

Oh, ah yes, yeah, it was sent straight to the Artefact Storage, a table of some sort. Ah, looks old. Quite pretty, though. Fascinating design on it.

all signs point to the best hope of escaping whatever plans the web has for jon lying with the desolation, or at least with fire, and who should be waiting in hill top road than someone who’s been known to burn statements in the past... and someone who, as of mag 162 - a cozy cabin, was the last person to mention the lighter: 

MARTIN

So, should we destroy it? Before we go?

[THE CABIN CREAKS VERY LOUDLY.]

ARCHIVIST

I honestly don’t know if we can.

[HE SIGHS.]

MARTIN

Mm.

ARCHIVIST

Besides, there’s – far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think.

MARTIN

We’re not even gonna try? Look, we’ve got your lighter; maybe if we just –

i haven’t even begun to touch on the multiple instances of spiral marked individuals interacting with hill top road, or the potential role of the rift leading from the world without the institute to the reality with the institute from mag 114 - cracked foundations, or the foreshadowing we’ve gotten throughout this season that the archive might be destroyed by fire and how it’s looking more and more like that means jon might die, or the significance of the tapes and what power might be behind them...

but it’s nearing five in the morning where i am and i’ve been working on this frankly gargantuan post since about midnight, so i’m going to let more meta-inclined minds take it from here. tell me what you think! where do you agree with me, where do you think i’ve gone astray? hell, tell me if you think i’m just spinning my wheels, this is the first real theory post i’ve ever made so i might be completely off base, at least i tried lol.

tl;dr: 

the call back to the imagery surrounding the web table and its long history with hill top road and the desolation is leading me to believe that whatever plans the web has in hill top road for jon, fire is going to have a significant role in whether or not the web gets what it wants; either agnes herself might finally make an appearance or the web lighter might finally come into play.

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[weirdest-al]

Mokay just a few thoughts because i have been thinking them and i think we could use some ~wholesome vibes~

so like a big chunk of this last/latest chapter of the fic i’m working on is much to do with ice dodging and just like izumi being A Perfectionist about it and just placing too much on her young shoulders blah blah blah really it just made me think more thoughts like

- first and foremost the idea that ice dodging is only for 14 year old boys? not if Katara has a say in it, which she does, and let’s just say, that is a thing of the past, gender? no gender? get on the boat, it’s rite of passage time kids

- Zuko having to go ice dodging to become an honorary member of the Water Tribe and just being like ha ha joke’s on you I’ve captained a ship before and then being like ha ha joke’s on me and sorry fourteen year olds .. do.. this? Alone?

- speaking of 14 year olds when Lu Ten (the oldest) turns 14 he’s s u p e r excited, like already on the boat when everyone else shows up in the morning just like take a seat folks and watch how the pros do it

- okay but also like Hakoda and Zuko being on board bc tradition is that the father accompanies the children and like 1. Zuko both passed the test and is their father and 2. both Hakoda and Zuko recognize the importance of them both being there for the children, like Hakoda because he is not just an honorary member of the tribe and because he missed the ritual with his own children, and Zuko because he is, you know, dad, and also because it’s like hey you really are a part of this now, it’s not some surface level thing

- But also Zuko being quite nervous in private about the whole ordeal (with all of them but like especially Lu Ten because he’s the first one and it kinda dawns on him that this is pretty dangerous and that’s their SON??? he’s a CHILD??) Katara reassuring Zuko that their son is going to be fine and that none of them have failed yet (YET?!)

- Still, the minute he’s in sight of his kids he makes sure to be totally outwardly calm (especially considering he can only sit back and watch unless shit really hits the fan) so he still makes sure to give his kids a big thumbs up to be like ha ha it’s all good who’s worried not me go get em champ

- Kya though.... nervous WRECK right up until the moment she’s on board, like the only thing she can fathom is immediately sinking the boat and everything falling to absolute shit dishonor on you dishonor on your cow and irreparable damage to a boat that was probably pretty costly to make, except the minute she actually sets sail it’s just like ah Kalm

- Lu Ten being like Kya chillax, it’s really fun! you’ve got this! (really trying to be a supportive older brother about it) and Kya being like you’re a WATERBENDER you can’t DROWN!! To which he just is like ?????? I.... I don’t think that’s how that works at ALL

- I also just really like the idea of Katara writing down a little booklet of all the ice dodging tips and tricks and gifting it to each of her kids the night before, like I know you’ve been gearing up for this but just in case, here’s some last minute wisdom, just like passing down all the wisdom she gathered from her own experience and also just hearing everyone else’s stories (especially with Lu Ten because she’s like okay here’s some waterbending tricks, keep it on the DL). Also the booklet would definitely end with very heartfelt notes and blessings for each of the kids that she definitely cries a little writing (argh rites of passage, everything’s a bar/bat mitzvah huh)

- Rohan and Izumi get to do it together :’^) But Izumi is a total perfectionist and Rohan is a real devil may care kinda kid and them finding a balance bc the s t a k e s! Also that’s just... how they operate, somehow they always manage to balance each other out

- also like... yes please GOD the twins just being there for each other always at the end of the day even though they’re so opposite in terms of personality, like when push comes to shove they have each other’s backs and really understand one another

- but also Izumi being like well if we fuck this up I shame not only one but TWO nations, the entire legacy of postwar world rests on my fourteen year old shoulders apparently and I’ll be seen as an outsider and a failure in the Water Tribe! But yeah, glad the whole family is here to see that

- and then Rohan being like but what if I did this... blindfolded?

- hmm what marks would everyone get, well I’ll tell ya!

Lu Ten gets the Mark of the Brave

Kya gets the Mark of the Wise

Rohan gets the Mark of the Brave (well, a bit reckless, but there’s no mark for that... yet)

Izumi gets the Mark of the Trusted

- ugh UNCLE SOKKA giving these kids their marks and just being like well a little tearbending never hurt nobody

- in any case, all of them succeeding and everyone just being proud and happy and the kids feeling like they can have a place in two worlds, that being children of two different cultures doesn’t mean they have to clash. Just being a part of tradition and realizing that the world is complex, but it isn’t all bad, and that they get to be a part of it!! Also they all eat lots of food and have Good Family Bonding Times because hell we all deserve that don’t we

lmao okay so this was more than “a few” thoughts but like who cares dude

[swearwolf-writes]

Merlin: Magic for the Masses

bcs magic isn't evil and this is my personal comfort fic

[CROSSPOSTED ON: AO3]

Season 1

AGES:

MERLIN:17-18

ARTHUR: 20-21

MORGANA: 22-23

GWEN: 17-18 (YOUNGER THAN MERLIN BY MERE MONTHS)

MORDRED: ~10-11

The Dragon’s Call

Valiant

The Mark of Nimue

Gwen finds out Merlin has magic (bcs he somehow knew her father was better) and keeps his secret

The Poisoned Chalice

Gwen sees the scrying lights

Lancelot

A Remedy to Cure All Ills

The Gates of Avalon

Merlin talks to Morgana about her seer abilities and promises to keep her secret

The Beginning of the End

Uses magic to save Mordred

Helps Arthur smuggle Mordred away

Excalibur

The Moment of Truth

The Labyrinth of Gedreth

To Kill the King

Le Morte D’Arthur

6 MONTHS PASS

Season 2

AGES:

MERLIN: 18-19

ARTHUR: 21-22

MORGANA: 23-24

GWEN: 18-19 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~11-12

The Curse of Cornelius Sigan

The Once and Future Queen

The Nightmare Begins

Tells Morgana of his own magic and now they’re boys

He can help her to an extent but they both need some help and so want to go to the druids together (bcs she’s got magic and he’s somehow Emrys although she doesn’t know the name yet) but he has his duties with Arthur and so she goes alone

Merlin find her with the druids during the panic in Camelot

They keep each other’s secrets (even if she doesn’t know Merlin is Emrys just yet)

Lancelot and Guinevere

Beauty and the Beast

Arthur sees Merlin with the mirror and asks him how he got the mirror down there without any rope

And voila the moron’s magic is revealed and it is then that he realises Merlin uses his magic to save his butt whoops (but he doesn’t tell Arthur about Morgana’s abilities bcs that’s not his secret to tell) 

But still doesn’t believe Merlin when he mentions that she’s a TROLL

The Witchfinder

Arthur kicked Merlin’s magic book under the bed and says it’s all clear bcs he doesn’t want anyone to be executed bcs no one got hurt with the magic and it was just a bit of fun

Merlin: “We know Aredian set Gaius up and then he’s coming after us-”

Arthur: “Us? Us who?”

Merlin: “I can’t say bcs that’s not my secret to tell”

Arthur: “If you know another sorcerer-”

Merlin: “Then what? What, you’ll execute them?”

Arthur: “I- I mean, no, but-”

Merlin: “But what? If it doesn’t matter with me then why should it matter if anyone has magic?”

The Sins of the Father

Morgana shows Merlin the bracelet Morgause gave her and he can feel the magic in it and lo and behold: she’s a sorceress too

Their mother, Lady Vivienne, was a sorceress and as was Morgause’s father that’s why Morgause was given to the High Priestess of the Old Religion but Uther thought that as Morgana had one non-magic parent, she would not develop abilities (he was wrong)

Merlin tells Arthur it was a lie to stop him killing his father but then reveals the truth once Arthur could not get to Uther and he also reasons that while it was Uther’s fault, no one was to blame as he didn’t know what’d happen (and was too headstrong to listen) and Nimue had no choice but to comply, on pain of death

The Lady of the Lake

Sweet Dreams

The Witch’s Quickening

Morgana tries to tell Merlin the plan but he stops her

Merlin: “I’m the future king’s manservant - plausible deniability is my only saviour right now. I will not aid you nor will I stop you but if I think innocents will get hurt, I will stop you.”

Morgana: “I would expect nothing else.”

Ignores Kilgharrah

Helps Mordred escape safely bcs he was innocent and brainwashed by a fanatic “I will not forget this”

Morgana tells him, after the fact, that she let the fanatic go bcs he just wanted to free magicfolk

They continue their training in private bcs insomnia via dragon

The Fires of Idirsholas

When Morgana sees Gwen sick, she tells Merlin about Morgause as soon as she gets the chance

Merlin tells Morgana about how she’s the source of the curse albeit unknowingly but the only way to save everyone is if she dies but they need to figure out how to save her so she took the hemlock and poisoned herself

It still hurt her bcs yk it’s poison so her telepathic pain was still a thing and Morgause came along and she took her after stopping the curse

The Last Dragonlord

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 3

AGES:

MERLIN: 20-21

ARTHUR: 23-24

MORGANA: 25-26

GWEN: 20-21 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~13-14

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 1

Merlin is so sorry that she had to poison herself and was so glad she was back

Arthur thinks there’s a thing between them meanwhile Morgana thinks there’s a thing between he and Arthur and Gwen

Morgana knocks the guard out and wipes his recent memories but she’s still not the best at her magic so he was just injured so Morgause spells him from afar to kill him bcs Morgana is not a murder even if she does hate Uther

Morgause: “You should have killed the guard”

Morgana: “I will not be like Uther and kill anyone who irritates me - he was in my way but simply following orders”

Morgause kidnaps Merlin but Morgana asks her not to kill him - he might just be a servant but he’s well-liked and popular - people will notice

The Tears of Uther Pendragon 2

Magic jokes with Arthur yay

Tense Mergana

Morgana: “You know I don’t wanna hurt you but this is to help our people so please don’t get in my way or whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

More magic jokes with Arthur feat. armour

Morgana and Merlin fight in the crypt and use magic causing the ceiling to cave but Merlin saves her bcs “you’re my friend” but uses magic to break the staff while Morgana runs to safety and takes the credit to keep up appearances 

Morgana: “sorry Merlin but our people come before us and they deserve better”

Merlin: “if that’s the case then why should our legacy to better ourselves begin with the massacre of innocents?”

Morgana: “it may be wrong but what other beginning do we have other than the slaughter of our own people, our women and children? Innocents weren’t supposed to get hurt but that was Cenred’s army not ours - the skeletals were only supposed to attack knights fighting us”

Goblin’s Gold renamed Gnome’s Gold

Gaius: “Gnomes are mischievous but not always dangerous in nature so long as they get what they want: gold. They have often been known as guardians of treasures, of mines and of precious stones.”

Merlin tells Arthur and Morgana about gnome!Gaius (separately)

Gets his butt kicked by Arthur when he sees that Merlin didn’t undo the donkey curse immediately

Merlin: “sorcerer’s magic and gnome magic are two very different things- how was I supposed to know it wouldn’t fully do the trick-”

Gwaine

Arthur: “I could’ve beaten them on my own Merlin, I didn’t need your help-”

Merlin: “well if not mine then certainly Gwaine’s at least-”

Arthur: “shut up, Merlin”

The Crystal Cave

Morgause is the one who was supposed to kill Uther bcs Morgana doesn’t want to kill anyone

Arthur gets her jewellery instead of a knife bcs Merlin actually tells him the prophecy

Morgause fails lmao

When Morgause tries to kill Merlin, she steps in and ends up needing the infirmary so Morgause runs

When Morgana and Merlin find out her lineage, they tell Arthur bcs ‘wtf?? I have a sister? You’re older so ig you’re the heir??’

The Changeling

Merlin tells Gwen and Arthur about lil changeling Elena and they’re like wait he/she knows??

Elena is a respectable thembo by the end of it all

The Castle of Fyrien

Merlin uses magic to light a campfire in front of Morgana, Gwen and Arthur to which again there’s the whole wait you know stuff

Morgana: “and you’re okay with it? After everything Uther says about magic users?”

Arthur: “I know Merlin and he has a good heart even if he is an idiot. And the druid boy wasn’t evil either, he was just a child. Merlin’s shown me that magic isn’t evil but instead just a tool and it’s the person using it incorrectly that should be punished rather than magicfolk as a whole.”

Morgana: “so you disagree with the ban on magic?”

Arthur: “So what if people use magic to do their chores faster? They’re not hurting anyone. It would be like condemning every person who’s ever owned a sword bcs they might hurt someone.”

Morgana: “how long have you known?”

Arthur: “since Father tried to marry a troll”

Morgana: “and you never said anything to anyone?”

Arthur: “it’s not my secret to tell”

She goes back to their side and saves Arthur from Morgause’s fire but it blows back and knocks her over so she wants to make sure her sister’s okay but gets pulled to safety by Merlin

~ later ~

Merlin: “Why did you save Arthur? You could’ve let him die and left Camelot without an heir but you saved him; why?”

Morgana: “bcs he protects you. If he was protecting a knight, I still wouldn’t trust him but you’re just a servant and yet he protects your life and our secret. Arthur is a good man and I don’t want any bloodshed - if we can give our people peace again with Arthur, I will stand by him.”

Merlin: “thank you.”

Morgana: “this does not mean I stand by Uther -  I will still fight against his tyrannous ways every chance I get.”

Merlin: “I’d expect nothing less”

The Eye of the Phoenix

Morgause gives Arthur a bracelet while disguised as an old woman “for good luck on your journey” and Gwen sees her real face in a puddle

Tells Morgana about it and they, along with Gaius, look for some way to counter the spell (and thus Morgana reveals her magic to Gwen)

Love in the Time of Dragons

Merlin doth be a snitch but they believe Alice when she says she has no choice and they try and help her as best as they can (Arthur is a sweetheart to old people (no offence, Alice-))

Queen of Hearts

Morgause tries to break Arthur’s heart and cause the rift between father and son by manipulating a young sorcerer into doing all the stuff that gets Gwen tried for magic

Dragoon and Arthur deal with stuffs but this time, he knows it’s his personal dumbass

Morgana helps with the anti-aging potion for Merlin bcs magic squad!!

The Sorcerer’s Shadow

The Coming of Arthur 1

Sir Leon is made immortal (by accident) by the druids who save him with the Cup of Life

When Morgause finds out Leon lives, she finds out about the Cup

Gwaine catches Merlin trying to heal Arthur and thus finds out about his magic too

Morgause rules with an iron fist and threatens to kill her and everyone else if Morgana doesn’t become queen and her mouthpiece bcs “you betrayed me sister so your life means nothing to me. And these peasants are mere cockroaches - whether they live or die, I don’t care - in fact, if they die, our people could live here in Camelot but regardless, those poor, innocent villagers’ blood will be on your hands, sister. Now, yield.”

The Coming of Arthur 2

Gwen tells everyone of how Morgana is just as much a prisoner as she was

Morgana uses magic to help fight Morgause but hurts her and despite everything “she’s my sister - I abandoned her once, I will not do it again. I will ensure her safety and ours in the process - rule well, brother” and she leaves with her sister using magic

1 YEAR PASSES

Season 4

AGES:

MERLIN: 22-23

ARTHUR: 24-25

MORGANA: 27-28

GWEN: 22-23 (A FEW MONTHS SHY OF MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~15-16

Morgana becomes the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess

The Darkest Hour 1

Kara’s mother, Ealdgyð, was helping Morgause bcs Morgana was forced to leave her when she began attacking her, all faith in her younger sister lost

Morgana was back in Camelot but yk “I couldn’t kill her- she’s still my sister- I’m sorry”

Knowing how much Morgana hated him for the things he did still left Uther crippled, even upon her return

Ealdgyð opened the veil upon Morgause’s death and she, Merlin and Morgana all passed out and saw the vision

Emrys was Morgana’s destiny and Ealdgyð’s doom

Emyrs’ identity is protected from Ealdgyð (and later Kara) by the Triple Goddess bcs they may be followers of the Old Religion but they perverted the peaceful nature of druids and so lost that information which was most valuable to them

Agravaine, being loyal to Morgause, now reports to Ealdgyð and tells her about their plan

Merlin and Morgana both want to be sacrifices to the veil

Merlin: “it’s my destiny to protect Arthur”

Morgana: “but this was my sister’s doing and therefore it is my responsibility to undo”

The Darkest Hour 2

Morgana tries to heal Merlin from the Dorocha but is unable to

Morgana continues on the quest with the knights while Lancelot and Merlin go their own way

Agravain on Ealdgyð’s orders knocks out Gwen bcs she convinced the council to reduce rationing the lower towns

The Wicked Day

Merlin tries to save Uther for Arthur’s sake but Morgana refuses to try

Morgana (to Arthur): “I am sorry you’re losing your father but he literally massacred our people - I will not save him”

Uther still dies but they noticed the pendant and want to find and take Ealdgyð’s head but they don’t know who she is bcs she’s smart

Arthur: “Magic will one day live freely in Camelot once more but not today - it is easier to find one sorcerer among no others than one from hundreds and despite your hatred of the things he did, you must know what this person did was wrong”

Morgana: “find them and bring them to justice, not for practicing sorcery but for committing murder”

Arthur: “of course”

Morgana is all for Arthur being the king bcs she knows after everything with Morgause and Cenred, the people would never accept her as queen but at least this way, her people stood a chance

Aithusa

Arthur doesn’t plan on destroying the egg but doesn’t really care what happens to it so long as Broden is captured

Morgana goes with the knights as magic is her lineage too and they will keep her secret

Merlin tells them of the Druids warnings about the trap bcs knight squad knows the magic squad secret (that they’re ✨magic✨)

He and Morgana witness the birth of Aithusa who immediately takes a liking to Morgana

His Father’s Son

Ealdgyð allies herself with Annis after Caerleon’s death

Morgana hints at Arthur to get Gwen flowers

At this point Morgana is just as strong as Merlin as they train together

A Servant of Two Masters

Ealdgyð takes Merlin

Thinks Dragoon is Emrys

The Secret Sharer

Ealdgyð: “I do this, not out of spite, but to ensure my daughter does not have to live her life as I did, afraid and in hiding”

Lamia

Morgana searches with Arthur and Agravaine

Lancelot du Lac

Ealdgyð will not have some common non-magic child take her throne and title (believes it is rightfully hers as magic is superior and she is the chosen heir of a high priestess (Morgause))

Merlin uses magic freely in front of those who know

Frees Lancelot’s soul but cannot stop Gwen’s banishing bcs Agravaine

A Herald of the New Age

Merlin tells Arthur about the Druid boy and Elyan’s situation but they need to figure something out bcs knowing intimate knowledge of magic wouldn’t help their case

The Hunter’s Heart

Arthur: “Well what am I supposed to do, Merlin? Tell the whole court we’ve been committing high treason for years - they would think us in league with the other sorcerer and take our heads”

Gwen avoids the sorceress smartly bcs she has brain cells

Morgana: “Do you think I’m happy about all this? I’ve been planning their wedding for years - who wouldn’t want their closest friend to become their sister?”

~ while on the hunt ~

Morgana: Wait a minute, you like Mithian-”

Merlin: “what no-”

Morgana: “you’re doing the thing”

Merlin: “what thing? I don’t do a thing.”

Morgana: “yes you do, It’s that thing you do when you think Gwaine isn’t looking”

Merlin: “shut up-”

Morgana: “oh this is gonna be fun”

Arthur calls off the hunt when Merlin tells him the deer is really Gwen but he and Mithian can’t be gone long so he and Morgana help after dark, Merlin being a physician and helping her wounds and Morgana turning her human again

She spills the beans and reveals the sorceress’ name as Ealdgyð and that Agravaine is definitely in league but they had to proof and couldn’t just accuse the king’s uncle especially given that they’re only a servant and an exile

The Sword in the Stone 1

Ealdgyð and Helios attack Camelot on Beltaine

Morgana is captured

Ealdgyð (to Morgana): “You betrayed our people”

The Sword in the Stone 2

Morgana is made to starve “like so many of our own have bcs of your precious family”

Ealdgyð: “You, Arthur Pendragon, are in fact worse than your father. You pretend to be a man of peace while upholding an unlawful law that has killed countless women and children”

Aithusa stays with Morgana but Ealdgyð is saved by random folks who think her simply a lost, hurt woman

3 YEARS PASS

Season 5

AGES:

MERLIN: 26-27

ARTHUR: 28-29

MORGANA: 31-32

GWEN: 26-27 (A FEW MONTHS YOUNGER THAN MERLIN)

MORDRED: ~19-20

Arthur’s Bane 1

Mordred is on Ealdgyð’s side bcs she’s Kara’s mother (eventually realises she’s wrong bcs what kind of mother drags her child into war)

Morgana and Aithusa stay with Gwen to help protect the castle bcs “the knights already have a sorcerer - if something happens here, Gods forbid it, you will need someone”

Merlin tells Arthur of the seer’s vision to which he reminds the young warlock that Morgana was supposed to also be their fate and yet she was saved and so will the boy be

The group is captured by Ealdgyð and here we meet Mordred

Arthur’s Bane 2

Mordred tries to get food to Merlin and Arthur but cannot ‘sorry, Emrys’

‘I said I would not forget what you did for me and I meant it’ and so Mordred tells him about the Diamair

They fight the Saxons with Mordred secretly helping them escape

Merlin: ‘thank you Mordred’

Mordred: ‘just returning the favour’

Merlin is attacked by a druid Saxon who he knocks out

~ confrontation time ~

Arthur: “We want to help you, Ealdgyð, but when you attack and enslave our people, it doesn’t exactly give us much confidence in you.”

Ealdgyð: “Liar! You force Morgana to hide away and to forget who she truly is-”

Arthur: “Actually she’s at the castle protecting everyone bcs we know that magic isn’t evil but your hatred, Ealdgyð, has made you evil.”

Ealdgyð: “If you are so good and kind, why do you not lift the ban on our people?”

Arthur: “Finding one sorcerer, you, amongst few is much easier than finding you amongst countless others. We have not persecuted any magic users since my coronation - the law is just there in name and once you are gone, it will be removed once and for all.”

Ealdgyð: “So you think killing me will make our people love you?”

Arthur: “I don’t want their love, only their forgiveness but you killed the king and that is high treason, regardless of magic.”

Mordred stabs Ealdgyð when he hears their conversation bcs o hey she’s nuts and yk he’s not evil :)

~ later ~

Merlin: “Actually, Arthur, Gwen and some of the knights know I have magic.”

Mordred: “When did he know?”

Merlin: “A couple of months after you and I first met. It’s actually quite a funny story-”

Arthur: “Merlin, shut up-”

Merlin: ‘I’ll tell you later.’

Mordred calls Merlin Emrys around Morgana and she’s like eh?? and he’s like yeah, druids call him Emrys and she remembers the prophecy but keeps her mouth shut bcs ‘wtf? My destiny?? lol no’

The Death Song of Uther Pendragon

Morgana does not join the pair even tho she was his ward bcs Uther was Uther ew

~ before blowing the horn ~

Arthur: “If something goes wrong, you can help, right?”

Merlin: “Maybe. But magic involving the dead isn’t something I typically deal with.”

~ during the crazy shite ~

Arthur: “Are you certain?”

Merlin: “What else could’ve escaped the horn but the person summoned by it?”

Arthur: “I refuse to believe that my father’s ghost somehow attacked a knight”

‘Poetry’ is still a thing bcs Arthur didn’t want to tarnish his father’s respect name but wtv

He spills the beans to his dad that he knows of Merlin’s magic and that if it wasn’t for him and Morgana, everyone would probably be dead so fuck off :D

Another’s Sorrow

Ealdgyð disguises herself as Hilda

Mithian and Merlin and Morgana flirt bcs they’re bi nightmares, or yk, bi-ghtmares

Plus more flirting between Merlin and Gwaine ft. panicked bi!Merlin

Morgana goes with Mithian and Arthur upon Merlin’s injury and fights Ealdgyð

Morgana: “3 of us and one of her, I like our chances”

Merlin: “But she’s growing stronger fast”

Mordred: “and so long as we keep studying and training, we’ll still be stronger”

Merlin teaches Mordred and Morgana physician stuff bcs bonding

The Disir

~ training montage ~

Arthur: “Next time try combining your sword skills with your magic”

Mordred: “but that’s not a fair fight-”

Arthur: “you’re a druid. Magic is the first tool you were born with and it’s our birthright to use it. Plus in a war, magic will help us”

Merlin still worries whether he’s too young to be out fighting with the rest of em

Arthur: “he’s a sorcerer - he has an inbuilt defence system regardless of whether he has his sword. He’ll be fine - and honestly, Merlin, you’re not his wetnurse or his mother.”

Merlin: “prat-”

Arthur: “what was that?”

Merlin: “I called you a prat, my lord”

Arthur: “I will not bow to the Triple Goddess for I do not follow her. But please, my friend is a sorcerer, a druid and a follower of the Old Religion. He is innocent. Spare him, please.”

Mordred is spared bcs they were impressed Arthur would risk their wrath but bcs he didn’t bow to them, his fate is still sealed

The Dark Tower

Ealdgyð kidnaps Gwen

Merlin, Mordred and Morgana do cooperative magic to try and find Gwen but to no avail

So they all go to the Dark Tower together f is for friends who do stuff together, u is you and me-

They use magic and swords to hack at the overgrowth but again, to no avail

He tells them all of Queen Mab and leads the way

Morgana saves the falling Merlin from impaling himself on the sword

~ psychological torture time ~

Ealdgyð: “My sweet child, you know Camelot is doomed if Arthur and Morgana are to rule. Arthur longs for the old ways and the security of his father while Morgana wants a magical revolution. They will tear the city apart in their wars and countless will die.”

Gwen: No, no, that’s wrong- you’re lying-”

Ealdgyð: “And yet you know I am right bcs if Arthur was not still waging his war against magic, I would be safely with my daughter but instead she is made parentless by the Pendragons and if Arthur is to continue having his way, my daughter will be made an orphan.”

Succumbs to Ealdgyð

Elyan still died unfortunately

A Lesson in Vengeance

Merlin uses magic subtly to save Arthur so Gwen doesn’t notice

The knights arrest Merlin for sorcery even tho they know he wouldn’t do it bcs who else could have

He still doesn’t tell Arthur about Gwen’s brainwashing bcs to accuse the Queen is a serious accusation

The Hollow Queen

Gaius tells Arthur the truth about Merlin going to save the young girl in the Valley of The Fallen Kings instead of the usual tavern business

(flashback) Sarrum took Kara hostage and forced Ealdgyð to comply for her sake and they were kept separately for the two years, only getting to see each other for mere moments

Merlin reveals to Daegal that Arthur knows of his magic and one day, magic will be commonplace in Camelot once more

Morgana agrees with Arthur that Merlin hasn’t got a girlfriend but Gwen teases her and asks if she’s jealous

Morgana: “of course not- in fact, I’m happy for him” but yk she’s lowkey jelly

With All My Heart

The Triple Goddess responds best to women so he (disguised as the Dolma (who is a pretty young lady might I add), not that it mattered bcs he’s is a he/she/they enby and I stand by that) and Morgana summoned the Triple Goddess (thank fuck that Morgana is Her High Priestess)

Morgana, Merlin, Mordred (having saved them mid-journey and then joined them), Aithusa and Arthur take Gwen to the Cauldron of Arianrhod

Mordred stays behind to try and cover their tracks, physically and magically, but is caught by Kara

Kara: “why do you stand behind someone who kills our people?”

Mordred: “Arthur has never killed any of us-”

Kara: “he stands by the law that put me and my mother through two years of hell! He is evil and if you cannot see that, you are not the Mordred I once knew and loved.”

Mordred: “Kara, please-”

Kara: “no-”

Mordred: “Kara, he knows! He knows about my gifts and he has not once even scorned for using them. The ban on magic is only up because we need to stop Ealdgyð from killing everyone-”

Kara: “why do you immediately forsake my mother? She is the only reason I am still alive, no thanks to you. The Pendragons are the reasons why we have been running for our lives our entire lives. And they are the reason why countless more children will never reach their truest potential and will never know who they truly are. Yet you still blame my mother who has done nothing but protect our people-!”

Mordred: “Your mother was going to kill everyone in Camelot just to spite Morgana! I still believe in the cause, Kara, but I do not believe in her and her ways!”

Kara: “We are druids and magic is our birthright!”

Mordred: “And druids are a peaceful people but Ealdgyð? She perverted our ways and has used the darkest magics, hurt countless people and all bcs she wants the throne. I will not join her so please, for the love of the Gods, don’t make me fight you Kara.”

Kara: “Tell us, tell me, who Emrys is and we won’t have to.”

Mordred: “Never.” *knocks her out w/ magic* “Forgive me, my love.”

The Kindness of Strangers

Ealdgyð thinks Alator a traitor for supporting the mighty Emrys who refuses to help their people in their time of need and so the torture begins

Merlin still doesn’t tell Arthur about the Alator-and-Finna-of-the-Catha situation bcs he’s busy yk and so tells Morgana and Mordred bcs it’s magic stuff so it’s their business too

He and Morgana go to find Finna

Merlin still attacked but Morgana stays with Finna and fights Ealdgyð and Finna is saved and on their side (bcs she is a Bendrui and they stand by Emrys, always)

The Drawing of the Dark

Mordred tells them it was Kara not some deer but still let her go

~ Later ~ 

Merlin: “why didn’t you stop her?”

Mordred: “how could I have?”

Morgana: “your magic is strong”

Mordred: “if you caught the love of your life after she killed someone, would you want to turn her in?”

Merlin: “you said it yourself, she killed someone”

Mordred: “she’s never wanted to hurt anyone. She only does this for her mother”

Morgana: “do you think she’d hurt her if she disobeyed?”

Mordred: “think about it this way: she practically raised me, called me her son in every way but blood and yet she now wants my head on a pike almost as much as she wants yours”

Arthur and Mordred patrol together (bcs they’re knights) w/ Merlin (bcs he’s Arthur’s) and find Kara and Mordred is shooketh at how bloodthirsty Kara has become

She is much confused when Merlin deflect the knife magically and he uses magic to bind her in front of them and no one bats an eye bcs she fr thought Mordred was bullshitting about Arthur being chill with it

She tries to kill Arthur again and does not take the chances he kept giving her for Mordred’s sake

Kara: “why do you continue trying to help me? You, who puts our kind through hell everyday.”

Arthur: “I want to make things better for all our peoples including you and yours but that cannot happen while your mother continues to attack, plague and kill our people, innocent people.”

Kara: “you’re lying - my mother would never hurt innocents”

Mordred: “we can show you”

Kara: “how?”

Mordred: “we were at the battle - you know the memory retrieval spell?”

Kara: “of course”

*le spell*

Kara: “that can’t be right- this must be some trick-”

Mordred: “Kara, look at me, look at me. You know me and you know I would never trick you like this. We did the spell together, out loud, and you can hear my thoughts so listen now. I did not trick you and we are not lying to you”

Kara: *crumples* “then the people I’ve hurt, the people I’ve killed-”

Arthur: “you were simply following orders, trying to make your parent proud; I know what that’s like. You are not to blame and you can save so many others if you only help us. Please.”

Kara: “to hear a king say please is a strange thing indeed.”

She comes back to the light

Magic squad is weirdly big considering the laws at this point but Camelot needs all the help they can get

Ealdgyð realises Merlin has magic bcs of the miraculous things that happen around Arthur and yk it’s too much to be just some coincidence plus she was keeping an eye on her daughter and saw Merlin deflect the knife and he is what keeps the magic squad together and she can only use the Gean Canach very few times bcs ‘tis rare

The Diamond of the Day 1

Merlin tells the knight squad and magic squad about his loss of powers and that he’s gonna go get them back somehow

Kara snitches that Eira is a spy for Ealdgyð and she gets dungeon time

Merlin, Gwaine and Finna go to the Valley of the Fallen Kings while Mordred, Kara and Morgana stay behind and protect Queen and kingdom

Ealdgyð knows Merlin will go the Crystal Cave to regain his powers

Gwaine stands guard at the cave mouth while Finna and Merlin go in but Finna has to stop and stay with Gwaine after a moment

Merlin: “this is a journey I must make on my own”

Gwaine: “could’ve told us that before we came out into the woods with you”

Merlin: “you’d have come with me anyways”

Gwaine: “yeah, you’re probably right”

Ealdgyð leaves after Gwaine sleeps with invisibility and silencing spells on to mask herself from Finna (who’s on watch at that point)

The Diamond of the Day 2

Merlin comes along looking like himself instead of Dragoon bcs there was no time to waste on disguises

The magic squad are beating Ealdgyð bcs yk there’s: Emrys, the High Priestess of the Triple Goddess, a Bendrui priestess and two highly skilled druids against Saesons

Merlin beats Ealdgyð and before she dies, Kara and Mordred get to say goodbye

Ealdgyð: “I’m sorry it came to this- all I ever wanted was a better life for you both and instead I dragged you into a war”

Kara: “we understand and we’re sorry too - we should’ve at least tried peace”

Ealdgyð: “that’s my fault”

Mordred: “and it’s our too. We could have insisted on it but we just blindly followed instead of talking to you”

Ealdgyð: “I’m so sorry my boy”

Kara: “rest easy, mother. Magic is returning to Camelot and we will be free once more”

Mordred: “goodbye Ealdgyð”

Post Battle-of-Camlann

Arthur (29) repeals the ban on magic

Kara (22) is formally pardoned bcs of her role in the Battle of Camlann bcs she saved Arthur’s life

Merlin (27) is Court Physician first and Court Sorcerer secondly after Gaius retires bcs mans is old af and Finna is Court Sorceress (and she still studies under him)

Alice returns and she and Gaius finally marry

1 year post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (30) and Gwen (28) have a daughter, Avlyn Pendragon, 1 year post-Battle-of-Camlann

Takes a year for Morgana (33) and Merlin (28) to finally get together and start courting

2 years post Battle of Camlann

Kara (23) and Mordred (22) marry

4 years post Battle of Camlann

Arthur (33) and Gwen (31) have a son, Cadwr Pendragon, 4 years post-Battle-of-Camlann (Avlyn (3))

Gwaine (33) and Percival (31) marry and we’re gonna pretend homophobia ain’t a thing bcs this is a comfort fic not a whump fic

Leon (37) starts courting Mithian (31) (idk y but they fit really well for some reason imo) and married after 6 months

5 years post Battle of Camlann

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) marry and Hunith is very happy for them

Merlin (32) and Morgana (37) have twins, Morfydd and Ywaine

[duskodair]

further Noel lore, by popular demand (with the old bc why not)

The one constant in her life has always been him. One of them was born first, but they're not sure which. Names don't stick to them. Dozens of monikers have come and passed them by. They barely use names for one another, so it doesn't matter. They know vaguely which order the children they might have once been were born and named, but neither of them actually know to which of them each name belongs.

They come to the orphanage as a pair of red headed infants, identical and inseparable. Among the other children, they are easily lost in the muddle. They grow up holding hands and answer to both names. They come to answer to others as well, as staff members forget and rename them from the pool of other children.

The orphanage is a loveless place. They learn of the distant love of a God who has forsaken them from nuns who have no time for them. They learn to walk holding hands and make their own language to whisper the secrets they learn from watching places that the convent do not want them to see.

The nuns can't keep the right names pinned to the right child and by the time they leave the orphanage, their papers are muddled and merged, inseparable in their scarcity. At fourteen, they do honest work for a few months, pulling in a pitiful wage between them. They answer to the names that the nuns told them they were given as decide that it's not for them.

Knowing their letters, at least, gets them into interesting places. Gossip slips by them. They come home with stories and whispers of crimes committed in distant towns. There's nothing truly behind it, but it intrigues them.

They leave the town they were raised in with the collection money for the convent's charity children. They never saw any of it whilst they were there, so they reckon it's theirs to take.

They do it sensible, though, no grand heist and sudden exit. One day two nobodies walk the streets and the next they are gone, notice properly given and a forwarding address passed along to those it may concern. Perhaps they go where they say they are going, perhaps they do not. The convent only realises the theft far later than it could be solved. And by that point, they are dust on the plains.

'New town, new names' is their policy. It gives them something to do on their journeys. Their childhood gives them a wealth of options as they work their way through the Good Book. She chars for a family as Leah, subtly learning to mimic the habits of those born into money as she beats dust out of the curtains. As Mary she is a gentle lady, down on her luck, willing to watch the children.

She never does a con without him. It starts with petty theft, enough to tide them over. But they grow confident as the years pass, and still the sheriffs fail to put out a bounty for names they've left behind.

Both of them claim to do the most work in their enterprise. She scoffs and says he's far too distracted by pretty stable boys and saloon lasses for his case to be true. He argues that she's too busy staring at her own reflection in things to possibly be doing the most work.

She kicks him, out of principle, before grinning. They're nearly done with this town. Regretfully, they're about to have a family emergency and the gentle seamstress' assistant and the errand boy will have to leave. It will be a while before anybody notices that old Mr McCoy hasn't been seen in a while. Well, perhaps the young ladies he used to shout at might notice, but the twins don't think they'll miss him.

Noel swings out her legs one last time before depositing them in Jonah's lap. She leans back as she considers the best way for Miss Miranda DuVal to break her incoming family crisis to her employer to potentially receive offerings of sympathy. In the last town she'd received a lovely pair of hand me down boots. She's hoping to do much better here, and well, there's some lovely stuff in the Atkinsons' unpaid tab.

The breeze picks up a little. Nothing like a peaceful walk and a casual picnic to enjoy their last day in this town. She looks away from the disappointing straggle of houses that make up the town, towards her brother. He's lying down in the prairie grass, staring up at the passing clouds. She thinks he's probably thinking about a barmaid again. He's got that look on his face.

She rips up a bit of grass and tosses it at him, 'keep your raunchy thoughts off your face. I don't want to know'

He tosses the grass back at her, 'I can do what I please. It's my own bleedin face'

With that, he rises, pushing her legs from his lap.

'Now come along, sister dearest, I'm sure we are missed. I must see if Old Man Thomas needs any more of those crates lifting, and I'm sure you have embroidery to do'

She lets him read her disdain before rising and schooling her features into the amiable Miss DuVal. 'Of course, brother, shall we go, then?'

She takes his arm and they head back to finish the performance before the appointed hour of departure. They make their arrangements and say their goodbyes. Jonah receives his kisses and Noel her tea gown.

On the road they pick new names, write a new story. When she stumbles in a gopher hole, he christens her Grace. She makes a hand gesture that the nuns certainly would not have approved of and accepts the name.

Town after town they pass through, weaving their way West, across the country. Their cons become bigger and grander and their budget grows.

For all their griping, they make an excellent team, she thinks, as he combs out her hair for her next performance. Their plan is to land a quiet jackpot in the town of Danser. It's been in their sights for a while, a little passing place, irrelevant. Perfect.

They have a few weeks to go before they arrive, appearances to make along the road. They call themselves Underwood for the branch that Jonah stumbles into as he stumbles around their camp after dark. They turn the branch into a lumber business and laud their wealth to one another.

Noel laughs into the fire as she weaves stories of their loving Papa, whose only desire in life is to see his daughter married off to a reputable man. Jonah grins as he fleshes out the tragedy of their gentle mother, taken too soon.

At least, Noel thinks, she won't have to wear the fashion of a widow too long, as Jonah will, of course, have to return her to the loving safety of her father, if there is nobody left in Danser to provide. She checks the Derringer strapped to her thigh and consigns her new life story to memory. Yes, she thinks, Noel will work as a name for a while.

______

Danser is quiet the day the Underwoods ride into town. On the surface, they bring little change, just a business deal and a wife for the wealthy Mr Tobias Lloyd. Noel rides into town as a bartering token for her family's lumber business, a symbol of an alliance sealed.

Jonah Underwood brings her into town, red hair tousled in the wind as the twins drive, laughing, down the dust scattered road. He's going to stay in Danser as she gets settled.

He'll probably stay longer than expected, loath to leave her. They've never been more than a week apart throughout their short lives. Where she goes, he follows, but this time, he cannot.

Noel is prepared, she thinks, for a husband. Her trunk is packed with all her worldly possessions and the wood of the carriage is steady under her hands.

The town spreads before her, barely a stopping point out from the city. Home, it seems, now. She's a long way from Tennessee. She's a long way from their smaller cons. Jonah meets her eyes. They're ready.

Her fingers dust over the derringer that she carries strapped to her thigh. She smiles. The plan is simple. She can do it. Jonah guides the horses forward into town, nodding to the old man on his stoop outside the general store, before heading to the Emerald Hotel.

She holds her head high as Jonah makes arrangements. The role is easy, she smiles and nods and watches. Noel is quiet and demure, but ever watchful, cataloguing her new neighbours. She plays naive, batting doe eyes at passers by, luring people in to speak with them.

They spend a day getting settled, researching, making appearances. They go to church, make nice. They start tabs and pay them off, respectable like, with the money of dead men. They find out about Mr Lloyd. He's wealthy and removed, just their type. His employees dislike him, after a few drinks, and when Jonah reports back, so does she.

She is all smiles, however, when Jonah presents her with promises of lumber money. She twirls the loose curls that soften her cheeks around a finger, and in that motion, she has him. Soon the hair around her finger becomes a ring and she becomes a wife.

Tobias Lloyd is, fundamentally, a disappointing husband. Everything he tries to teach her, she already knows, and quite frankly, he's barely competent. He tries to run her in circles but his fall short of the ones she's running around him.

Jonah rides between Danser and the city, keeping the financial side of the con running as Noel pushes her hands into the running of the household. She takes control, bringing home arsenic for cleaning and for rats.

She makes appearances with her husband in the Emerald Hotel, a doting wife out for coffee. She wears fine gowns and resists gossip, staying upstanding, but never cold. She likes to think that she's making her mark in the town, becoming known. If she is, she's doing her job properly, settling her character witnesses.

Everything is going perfectly until it isn't. Jonah slips. Noel doesn't even discover how until it is too late and the gunfight is lost and Jonah is bleeding out in her arms, his tab with God unsettled and their victory bleeding away.

She buries him in the churchyard, demure and sweet, watching the stone with the wrong name mark her brother's place. Later, she rides out and screams, hands still stained red with his blood. She remembers his unsettled tab and sets out to match it, so that one day she can join him once more.

She returns to town and puts on her gloves. Tobias loves her, she is the perfect wife, so attentive to his bouts of illness and so concerned.

Noel forms the perfect cover, she plays her part perfectly. With a little sacrifice, she covers for Jonah's slip. She helps collect funds for the new church floor, embroidering kerchiefs with dainty patterns for the pastor to sell. The new pastor admires her faith, he smiles and says one day she'll see heaven. She does her best to ensure that won't be so.

Tobias grows sicker and sicker and Noel worries more and more. At least, in public. Old Man German at the store grows tired of her asking after medicine. There is never any coming in.

Calling for the Doc is a risk, but a necessary one. Fortunately, it pays off, he patiently assures her that he's not a doctor and he cannot cure her husband. He's the best Danser has, however, and all her husband will see. She grows fond of him on his visits, another respectable alibi and connection for when she is alone.

She forges ties and prepares for widowhood. She ties her hair up neat and slips into the saloon instead of the hotel on a Friday afternoon, seeking the Doc, looking to keep herself in his mind. She's going to need a new husband soon, anyway, and it's always a good idea to plan ahead.

[slversoul]

* mia goth, cis female + she/her  | you know cecilia rutherford, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, three hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to summer wine by nancy sinatra and lee hazlewood like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole strap of a silk slip falling down her shoulder, sitting on a sailboat and smoking, soft smile hiding shark teeth thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 1, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( cornelia  )

death tw, gaslighting tw, animal death tw, murder tw, attempted murder tw

born at 12:02 am on june 1, three minutes after her twin brother, making her younger — a fact cecil never let her forget.

the twins shared one name. one head. two hands. two feet. one heart. it was impossible to tell them apart as small children, everyone assuming they were identical twins with their matching haircuts and outfits.

their parents had met when their father was shooting a movie in brazil, sweeping their mother off her feet, and bringing her to connecticut where they were married within three months. only four years later she was moving to italy to live with her young lover.

back and forth the twins moved between their father’s home and their mother’s home. the constant shuffling around led them to be homeschooled in their youth. all the better for them. the twins ran through the large houses, barefoot, with laughter filling the corridors behind them.

it wasn’t that their parents didn’t love them, but they had other things to preoccupy their time. cecil and cecilia only had each other.

when they turned 11, they were enrolled in a middle school, settling in with their father full time during the school year. the other kids might not have known them, but they certainly recognized their last name. despite their lack of early socialization, they made friends quickly. calm and easy to converse with, they were respected among their peers.

(attempted murder tw) the first incident happened when they were 12. with their friend over and their father gone, the three of them were swimming in the pool. their friend, wanting to show off, dived into the pool. in the blink of an eye, cecilia watched red bloom from him, seeping slowly into the surrounding pool water. she wanted to run and find the housekeeper, wanted to call 911. do something. do anything. cecil held his hand up, stopping her in his tracks. his eyes were on their friend floating face down in the pool, and her eyes were on him, searching for anything buried in his cold, dark eyes. as the seconds ticked by, he finally lowered his hand, and cecilia ran screaming into the house. the friend lived, but from then on, there seemed to be a separation between the twins and the rest of the world.

they skipped eighth grade, too smart for any of the silly assignments their teachers had for them that year. they played tennis and golf and even learned to sail. all activities they could do together. all activities their parents had wanted them to learn on their own.

(animal death tw) it was their trips to italy that got them interested in architecture and history and classics. places they could explore first hand, reconstructing history with nothing more than their imaginations. one night, they snuck out of their mother’s villa and stole three chickens from a neighboring farm. deep into the woods they went until they came across the smooth stone. it was cecil that butchered them, but this time, cecilia’s eyes were cold as she watched the blood spill down the stone and seep into the forest floor. the gods were appeased cecil had said.

every time a friend encouraged cecilia to step away from cecil, the friendship ended shortly after. he was her older brother. he knew the ways of the world and was helping lead her through it. she went on dates but she never dated, preferring to limit her company. perhaps that’s why everyone clamored to be around her, and even fought for cecil’s attention. they didn’t walk, they floated, in a reality of their own making. a secret universe that no one else got a glimpse of. but their classmates and their teammates and their neighbors needed to know what made them so different from everyone else, blinding them to the coldness the twins wrapped themselves in like a large quilt.

off they went to college, both of them double majoring in classics and history with a minor in latin.

the tipping point came when they were placed in different recitations for some general lecture. they demanded their parents try to convince the dean to place them in the same one, and the parents insisted they tried their hardest, but in reality, they were happy to see the twins apart. it was there that she made friends. friends who didn’t know her brother, and didn’t care to know him. it started with study group without cecil, but it grew bigger and bigger, until slowly, she became cecilia rutherford and not cecil’s sister.

of course, he didn’t take this news well. he was sick every month, needing cecilia to nurse him back to health. or he wanted to do a family dinner the same night she was supposed to go out. she tried reconciling him and her friends, but they never seemed to get along. torn between two worlds, she was tugged back and forth, helpless in the middle.

(murder tw) bunny, siobhan, cecilia, and cecil were at the marina late at night. they were tying the boat up, having spent the whole day in the sun, still tipsy from an afternoon of drinking. a comment about one of their classes, one cecil wasn’t in, struck a nerve, and he launched into a tiraid. a move to grab cecilia, resulted in him being pushed away, slipping and falling over the pier and hitting his head on the boat before he landed in the water with a splash. nobody made a move to call for help. a relief really. he had been but a stone, trying to drag everyone down to whatever sad pit of despair he lived in. it was a secret that they would take to the grave, binding them together.

they stayed close throughout college, drifting away as they graduated. cecilia moved from pursuit to pursuit, treating everything as if it was some kind of game rather than a career. she even tried her hand at writing a novel, growing bored after only ten chapters in. she had more fun laying around on the yacht of whoever she was seeing at the moment.

her brother’s death hardly left a mark on the family. they cried together at the funeral, but they floated apart again, dealing with the grief in their own way. she never talked about it, preferring to block out his memory entirely than deal with the consequences of their actions. this proved impossible when she received a note, slipped under the door of the penthouse she was currently renting out. a note, in her deceased brother’s handwriting. you can’t get away that easily. fear left her cold, and she tracked down her old friends, packing up and moving to irving, north carolina to confront the past.

PERSONALITY

she’s friendly and charming and outgoing. she can talk to everyone and be kind to everyone, but that doesn’t mean she likes everyone. it’s all about appearances. is very good at hiding things and keeping things close to her. she’s still struggling with the loss of her brother because he was her best friend. she’s aware of his flaws, but it’s hard for her to reconcile her fairytale version of him and the truth. cecilia is super smart and pretentious and snobbish, but she’s also a bit of an airhead in that she’s not aware of how the “common person” lives. she’s very out of touch with things because she lives in the bubble of her parents’ money. she’s calm always. it always seems like nothing fazes her, and it’s all a façade. um i think i’ll add more to this later but that is all for now :)

WANTED CONNECTIONS

okay, so as she is new, like literally just moved in hours ago, she’s not really going to have recent connections. but i’m so down for doing past connections :)) maybe a love affair when they were both on vacation somewhere, or someone who she knew in the past who hates how calm she is about everything. also someone who knew her brother and either hated or loved him bt that would be fun angst bc she doesn’t talk about him anymore :) anyway, if you think our muses could have met in the past, just let me know and we can brainstorm connections :D