#and she's described as being happy and Thats ALL

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

angel of a daughter

words: 2.2k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, stepcest, stepdad!rafe, p in v sex, unprotected sex, virgin!reader, female receiving oral, fingering, breeding, fertility issues (from mother), reader is described as having big boobs, kinda pregnancy kink from rafe but more talk of sex while pregnant, cheating (no daddy kink)

“i got the results back.” your mom says, her voice low and sad, revealing her results with her tone alone. “the doctor says theres no way.” “i’m sorry, mama.” you pout, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. you hate that you feel a bit of relief. your mom had you young, a teenager knocked up by another teenager who ran off the second he heard his girlfriend got pregnant.

your mom raised you until you were a teenager yourself, doing everything by herself until your stepdad came into the picture. he inserted himself perfectly into your life, but expected to have kids of his own.

“whats the plan then?” you question as your stepdad comes into the living room, setting a glass of water down in front of your mom. you sit on either side of her, showing your support. “adoption? surrogate?” 

you like being an only child. you like it just being you, mom, and rafe, but at the same time, you want your mom to be happy, and if a baby gives her that, you'll adjust for her.

“actually…” rafe clears his throat. “we were hoping you’d be willing to help out.”

“yeah, of course.” you nod. “anyway i can.” 

you don’t realize what rafe means until later. you assumed it was just help researching adoption agencies, or finding a surrogate, but as rafe hovers over you, you realize he means to breed you.

“m-my mom can’t be okay with this.” you stutter out, body stiff against the bed, trapped as you blink up at rafe, body caging you over the mattress.

“she thinks you’re going to get inseminated.” he huffs out, breath warm against your face. “and in a way you are. a natural way.”

“i-i-” you stutter out. “i don't know about this.”

“come on, i see the way you look at me.” rafe shifts his weight to one hand, gliding down the other down your torso, squeezing your hip gently. “i know you want this.”

“you're married to my mom!” your eyes are wide, but a spark does ignite inside of you. “you're my stepdad!”

“and you’re going to be doing both of us such a big favor, pretty girl.” rafe coos, his fingers running along the material of your shorts, stroking closer and closer to your center every time.

“i-i guess it would be easier than going to a doctor.” you’re sure it involves waivers and legal shit that your mind just can’t even wrap around.

“exactly!” rafe smiles down at you, glad for your naivety. “besides, im making you feel good... you’ll get pregnant, and both of us will feel real good.”

“how many times will we get to do it?” you whisper, hands reaching up to touch rafes cheeks, running your finger down the smooth planes. “like, it probably won’t take the first time.”

“as many times as we have to babygirl. and i’ll take real good care of you during your pregnancy. rub your feet, buy whatever you are craving, eat you out.” rafe loves the way your eyes blow wide.

“thats not appropriate!” your mom has lectured you long and hard about sexual experiences and above all how important it is to wait so you don’t become pregnant young like she did. and now she is asking you to allow your stepdad to breed you when you’re freshly out of your teen years.

“its okay, its just you helping us out so im helping you back out in return.” rafe moves his hand up to cup your cheek. “let me show you.”

he leans down to press your lips together in a kiss. you lay frozen for a moment before beginning to move back, reciprocating the kiss as your hands fist into his shirt, tugging him lower.

you let out a moan into his mouth and rafe has to pull away to chuckle. “see, i knew you wanted me babygirl.”

“yeah.” you nod. “okay, lets do this.” damn the consequences, you can think about them later.

“good.” he coos out, lips back against yours quickly as his hand gropes at your breast, rubbing them through your tanktop. you’ve always been insecure about the size of your chest, but as rafe lowers down to look at them, you think about them in a whole new light.

“these are gonna feed our baby so well.” he says, tugging at the hem of your shirt, lower and lower until it breeches the swell of your breasts and they pop out the top. you don’t ask who he means by ‘our’. you can indulge in the fantasy that it’s just you and rafe. that your mom is still in the picture, but only in the role as your mother, not the one of rafes baby. 

rafe wraps his lips around your nipple, sucking deeply into his mouth, so in contrast to what it must feel like to have an infant feeding.

“i-more.” you gasp out as rafes fingers play with your other nipple, rolling and pinching at it until they’re both stiff peaks.

“i can’t wait to fuck you baby.” rafe says, helping you sit up just slightly to pull your shirt off, the small pajama shorts the only barrier you have left on your body. rafe also tugs his shirt off. you’ve seen him shirtless before in the pool or on your boat, but its different in this low lighting, so intimate and close. 

“gonna eat your pretty pussy first though.” rafe tugs your shorts down, your thighs pressing together to allow you to keep that part of yourself hidden for a moment longer, before rafe is pushing at your legs and slotting himself onto the bed in between them.

“aww.” rafe smiles, looking much more like a boy your age with his grin rather than your stepfather. “i knew she’d be cute.” his hands stroke over your inner thighs. “have you ever had a guy eat your pussy before?”

“no.” you shake your head. “never done anything with a guy.” you’ve kissed past boyfriends, but it never went beyond that.

“im gonna be your first?” theres a spark in rafes eye when he realizes that you’re a virgin. that he’s going to deflower you, fill you up. 

“y-yeah.” you nod. 

rafe wants you to cum once with his mouth and fingers first to open you up and get you wetter before he fucks you, so he wastes no more time, pushing his face forward between your legs, tongue swiping over your folds as you scream out in pleasure. 

rafe is glad as your moans increase with every flick of his tongue and glide of his lips that he chose to sneak into your room in a time when your mom was gone, off to the spa with her girlfriends, no doubt sharing to them her recent doctors trip and how her angel of a daughter agreed to be a surrogate so her and rafe could have a baby of their own.

“you taste so good.” rafe says. he isn’t one to enjoy giving head often, but you really are the sweetest taste on his lips. he focuses in on your clit as your entire body stiffens before relaxing, sighing out as your head becomes fuzzier and fuzzier with every touch of rafes mouth.

“do you touch yourself here?” rafe asks, pressing kisses to your clit, making out with it just like he did you mouth.

“no.” you shake your head. you occasionally grinded yourself into a pillow stuffed between your legs to get off when you got too overwhelmed, but you never reached your hand in your pants to feel yourself.

“what about here?” rafe brings his hand to your cunt, finger circling around your entrance.

your eyes widen again, that gloriously innocent startled look that has rafe grinding into the bed to give his cock some sort of relief.

“never!” you shake your head.

rafe just smiles, going back to focusing on your clit as his finger pushes in. you’re so wet it’s not difficult at all, but he can feel the way you squeeze around his digit, getting used to the feeling of the intrusion.

“relax for me, princess.” rafe says, sucking at your clit as he begins to move his finger in and out until he’s able to easily pump, the delicious squelching of your wetness filling the room with his every movement.

“gonna add a second, okay?” rafe talks you through the process, not wanting to do something to scare you into changing your mind. “gotta open you up for my cock, baby.”

rafe pushes a second finger into your entrance, working you open until he feels your body stiffen, his concentration going to your clit as he works you through your orgasm, your high so suddenly breeching that your body locks up and you let out a scream.

“shh, i got you.” rafe kisses along your mound as you work through it, pussy clenching around his fingers as he scissors them, knowing he needs you looser to fit inside.

“that-” you gasp out, mouth suddenly feeling dry. “that was so good.” “yeah?” rafe smiles up at you. “i can keep helping you feel that way, baby.”

“mhm.” you nod, not sure how you’ll ever go without now that you’ve felt the high that rafe can get you.

“can i fuck you now?” he questions. as much as he’s ready to go right now, if he has to build you up to allow him inside bare, he would wait.

“yeah.” your voice is dripping with eagerness. “yeah, yes please. just need a drink of water first.”

you sit up slightly, going to reach for your water bottle on your bedside table, but rafe moves quicker, helping you bring the bottle to your lips and suck the water down, pulling away with a gasp as a drop of water glides down your chin, reaching your throat before rafes tongue is on your skin, tasting the sheen of sweat as he follows the wet trail up to your lips, kissing you to keep your mind occupied.

he works his pants and underwear off while you’re wrapped up in the kiss, your hands stroking through his hair, playing with the strands. 

rafe moves your legs to wrap around his hips as he holds onto his cock, swiping it through your folds. he taps the head against your sensitive swollen clit, making you pull away with a gasp.

“stay nice and relaxed for me, baby.” rafe says, pressing kisses to your jaw as he lines up with your entrance. he pushes in slowly, your eyes clenching shut as your chest moves up and down with each breath, trying to keep your body relaxed like rafe said.

“there ya go.” rafe says, halfway inside your cunt. “good girl.”

he pushes as far in as your pussy allows, both of you sitting in that moment, relishing in the feeling of being joined together as you stretch to accommodate his large length, shifting your hips side to side and up and down to get used to the feeling.

“i gotta move, baby.” rafe says, his voice sounding strained.

“yeah, go ahead.” you nod. despite your affirmation, rafe continues to move slowly, his hips swinging back before pressing forward, carefully building up a rhythm.

“it feels really good.” you tell rafe, your cheeks flushed bright pink, hair fanned out on the pillow around you like a glowing halo.

“yeah, yeah.” rafe nods rapidly, his grip on control quickly loosening. “you feel so good too.”

rafe knows he should stop, but he loves the way your body reacts to his dirty words. “you’re so tight around me. i love this pussy. so much better than your mamas. gonna give me a baby, right?”

“i-yeah.” you nod. “fill me up.”

rafes loosening control shatters, his hips swinging forward fast, burying his cock inside of you as the pace instantly triples. you let out a squeal, the sheets gripped in your hands as he pounds into you.

“gonna fill up your pretty little cunnie, baby.” rafe grunts out, his own forehead sheening with sweat from his effort, his muscles straining as he pushes up then down, up then down.

“want it so bad.” you whine. 

“fuck.” rafe gasps out, mouth dropping open, his lips shiny from eating you out. “can’t last much longer. gonna cum.”

you experiment, clenching your pussy around his cock, and judging by rafes reaction of a loud moan and curse, you can tell he likes it. you continue, squeezing every time he pulls out, wanting to keep his cock wrapped in your warmth.

“i-im cumming.” rafe gasps out, his cock growing inside of you before your eyes widen, suddenly feeling warmth spreading as his cum fills you, his cock pressing in even harder, hoping it reaches your womb.

“god.” rafe groans, lowering his body on top of yours, but you don’t care about the weight as you smile.

“we’re gonna keep doing that?” you ask, running your hand down his back.

rafe looks up at you. “oh, of course baby. gonna keep fucking you while you’re pregnant too, maybe you’ll give us twins.”

you roll your eyes and giggle at rafe. “thats not how it works, silly!” “oh, what do you know?” rafe smirks at you. “you haven’t even had sex before!”

“well… i have now.” you mumble, shifting your hips from side to side, rafes cock still lodged deep inside of you.

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[fanzou]

Hi!! could you write about sanji dating someone whose old partner only cared about their own happiness (sexually and non sexually) and she starts believing thats how a relationship is supposed to work. sanji shows her it’s not supposed to be like that

Spoil Me!

✗ Pairing: Sanji Vinsmoke x Fem!Reader

✗ Summary: Sanji shows you how to be selfish for a change.

✗ Total WC: 4.4K

✗ CW: Angst, Reader being in a manipulative relationship before Sanji, SMUT, Sanji calls reader lots of pet names, Reader cries in good and bad ways (let me know if I missed any), fluff, Nami smacks your butt (my personal favorite part)

✗ A/N: I always see this prompt with other writers and got super anxious just cuz it could get angsty, but I feel that I did somewhat of a good job with this. I’m happy with it! So… enjoy, and thank you so much for this request!

It’s been 2 months since you and Sanji had established yourselves romantically.

And ever his romantic self, Sanji had always done things different with you. Everything was equal, everything was amazing. Everything felt right in his mind. You’d help him with the dishes, you’d help do his laundry, hell—sometimes he’d let you help prepare his favorite dishes with him to serve to the crew. Of course, there had been a select few things that were off limits, like paying for the bill, which he always had you covered, it was but a friendly gesture. You’d return the favor the next time you guys went out, even if he almost fought the waiter about it. (You couldn’t help yourself!)

When it was absolutely pouring and Sanji saw you hadn’t brought a coat in preparation, there was no hesitation in giving his up for you, but you insisted that you and him could both get underneath the coat like an umbrella, and he swore he fell in love with you all over again right then.

Even though he always liked the idea of being the one to take care of his partner, this was something different, something new. He’d grown to appreciate it—the equal friendship you’d shared. And when he realized his new and profound love for you, he felt unstoppable. Suddenly he wanted everything to do with you, and less to do with anything else. It was like he was attached to your hip. Wherever you went he wasn’t so far behind.

So it was a surprise to no one when you both finally decided to get together. He was ecstatic, the smile on his face couldn’t be wiped away for days.

And then it came crashing down.

exhibit A.

You’ve done this 3 nights in a row.

“My heart, you don’t have to worry about the dishes tonight, okay? I’ve already washed and dried them all, just get some rest.” You kiss his cheek and walk away, presumably to your room.

When the door closes, he finally settles back into reality, what he experienced could only be described as shock. He thought it was just a coincidence the first two nights. Maybe you just wanted to go to sleep a little earlier, but Sanji can’t help but feel a pang in his heart. Though it might seem like a boring little chore to an outsider, there was something that filled his heart about being able to do the dishes with you. It was so much more intimate. There was something about being side by side with you, talking and chatting about how your day went, asking you about the crew, if you did anything special that day. It was the little things for him, and he couldn’t relish in his favorite part of the day because of whatever reason you wanted to finish the dishes as early as possible.

You laughed into his shoulder while he told you something funny he encountered that day, “Sanji, that’s crazy!” Your laugh was so bright. Oh, how he loved to hear your sweet laugh, and this was one of those moments he could cherish it, to really savor it with no disruption.

Another time, you’d tease and get some soap on his cheek and he’d rebuttal by getting you a little wet. He giggled at your gasp and put down the wet dishes for a second and put his wet hands around your hip. You didn’t mind, never. You grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss while his hands soaked your shirt and pants. It was absolute heaven to him, and he didn’t want it any other way.

Surely he hadn’t done something wrong, that had to be impossible. Given your body language, and the way you leaned into him, everything was fine on his part.

He turns around and twists the door knob to the kitchen to follow you to your room, and makes a quick turn to your door.

He opens it and there you are, already dressed in your night gown, ready to sleep. You look exhausted, he looks at you in what you can almost make out to be a pitiful expression. “Is everything alright, sweetheart?” He walks towards you carefully and lifts your hand into his, and contrary to your tired expression, he can tell you try your utmost to keep an enthusiastic attitude, “Of course! There’s nothing to worry about. You should go to bed Sanj’.” You squeeze his hand, “I don’t want you to be tired.”

A silence falls, until you continue, “Something bothering you? Do you want me to come to bed with you? So you can sleep?”

Even though you meant well, and to anyone else it would seem thoughtful— the words you had uttered were far from reassuring to him.

exhibit B.

It was a special day, a very special one. Something that you almost didn’t want to celebrate, for whatever reason, but with the way it made Sanji so happy to be able to participate in, you couldn’t help but let him have it.

“Happy Birthday!” The crew says in unison. They just got done singing the most off beat and terrible rendition of what they thought was the happy birthday song, and you loved it. the three layer cake was decorated in the most gorgeous pink you had ever seen. Complimented by pink pearls on the sides with what you can only assume to be the most attentive detail, prepared by your one and only. It was thoughtful, almost so thoughtful that there was a guilt forming in your stomach. Nami picks some frosting off the top and swipes it onto your nose, to which you cutely stare at the middle of your face. She licks the residue off her fingers and in satisfaction, she yells to the cook, “Wow Sanji, this is amazing!” His smile softens when he hears her words. “I’m almost jealous. Where was all this for my birthday?”

“Now hurry up and cut the birthday girl a slice before I eat this entire thing!” Luffy exclaims, and everyone is quick to start arguing with him. “Don’t you dare, you idiot!” Nami yells.

You can only laugh, “My slice? That belongs to Sanji!”

The commotion comes to a silence and everyone looks at you, most of them with confused expressions or blank one’s. Sanji doesn’t understand what you meant, and neither did the others so you continue, “It’s important that he gets the first slice, I almost feel bad that I made you prepare such an amazing cake, I couldn’t possibly be the first one to eat it.”

There was an awkward silence, but he decided to break it. “Darling… it’s your cake. I made it especially for you.” You thought about it for a moment, long and hard, before a memory came back to you:

Y’know I bought this cake for you, so it’s only fair that I get the first piece. A bit selfish of you to try to hog it all up, sweetheart. A woman should always serve her man first, ever heard of that? The voice rings through your ears and you shudder.

You scratch your neck and look off to the side, “I was always taught that it was bad manners for me to take the first slice, please Sanji, would you do me the honors?” You look a little nervous to even be saying that. The swordsman answers before he or anyone else can, “Bad manners? Never heard that one before.” He says before taking a sip of his drink. It would be completely unlike Sanji to ever participate in such a tradition, it would be no exaggeration to say that it made him mildly uncomfortable. But because of the way you look at him with pleading eyes, albeit hesitantly—he cuts himself the first piece, and then the rest for everyone else.

“Alright!” Luffy licks his lips. “Let me know if anyone doesn’t finish theirs!”

“I hope you enjoy it, my love.” You say to him with your hand cupping his face. His eyes widen for a split second.

He doesn’t miss the sad look in your eyes.

exhibit C.

This was something you couldn’t do very often with being on the waters almost all of the time, and when you were on ground there was always a quick and rising conflict that had to be dealt with, so it was difficult for you and your lover to get some alone time.

And the restaurant was absolutely fabulous, violin music playing in the back, the red and orange lights that illuminated the environment were calm and not overbearing, they were dimmed just right to fit the seductive atmosphere that you and Sanji both basked in. The food was amazing as well, something he couldn’t say about many restaurants. He wasn’t crazy about this island, but he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t some great food here.

“You look beautiful, dear. This dress is absolutely perfect on you.” Sanji says simply, but it dusts a blush on your face, one that he wishes he could see, but the ambient light does good to mask it, much to his disappointment. He liked leaving you flustered. “You look handsome, but you know that.”

“I like to hear it from you. ‘Makes me feel like I’m the luckiest man alive.” He purrs. You don’t miss the way his feet glide against yours, and the hungry look he gives you.

Like he almost wants to take you then and there. And suddenly the mood changes—from romantic to sexual. There’s a certain glimmer in his eyes that you want to get familiar with, but this is a restaurant, and he had enough food. “I think we should get out of here, my love.” Not taking his gaze from yours, “I’m hungry for something else.”

“I paid the bill already, baby, so we can bounce whenever you want.” You say with an eagerness in your tone, trying to match his energy.

Sanji looks nothing like he did a second ago, he’s confused and almost surprised, sad and angry all at the same time. It’s unlike anything he’s ever seen. He didn’t want you to pay, that’s far from what he wanted you to do. He wanted to pay the bill, and then take you to the nearest hotel and make you feel special. “What do you mean you paid?” His tone is stern now.

“Sanj’, I was taught that it was bad manners to have a man— y’know… pay… ‘cause they do all the work. Y’know? And…” you continue, but Sanji cancels your voice out for a second. You fiddle with your fingers in your lap, you don’t want to look at him anymore, in fear of what he would say to you. You thought you had done the right thing but it probably wasn’t enough to keep him satisfied.

It’s all the same.

Honestly, he didn’t care about whatever bullshit manners anyone’s ever taught you. It’s something that he didn’t approve of. Sanji digs his hand in his hair, he’s frustrated. He loves you, he really does. But this is suuuuch a turn off. As a friend he could take you paying the bill after his countless times doing so, despite his absolute reluctance in letting you do it. It was much more different now that you were finally together. He didn’t want to be upset with you, perhaps you misunderstood, that was all. Your anxiety grew as Sanji stayed quiet, you could tell he was frustrated and you didn’t understand why. No worries, it’s nothing you hadn’t seen before.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll make you feel good tonight if you’ll let me?” You say with hopeful eyes, and his gaze finally meets yours, but you quickly realize that it’s not enough to satisfy his needs, he just looks at you with a pitiful expression like he had the other few instances you suggested something like this. “My love… if you’ll let me be honest. I don’t really care about whatever dumb manners you had to learn growing up or whoever ingrained those dumbass ideologies into your pretty little head.” He takes your hands, “You’re with me, and I want to be able to make you feel like the most special girl alive.”

You were nervous, and you felt like your nails digging into your palm were bound to break through skin soon, you chewed anxiously on your bottom lip with your brows furrowed. Should you tell him? The last couple weeks of establishing your relationship was nothing short of a fantasy, but you didn't let yourself enjoy it like you wanted to in fear of coming off as selfish.

Would you be able to get the bill this time, babe? I'm a little short.

Ahh, short again. Well I did buy you that one thing... So you can maybe think of this as your payback!

I do enough for our relationship. You can pay this time, don't be greedy.

"Sanji..." you trail off, looking down at your lap once again, "The last guy I was with, he insisted that I did every thing, but the more I'm with you the more that I realize that it was probably very unnatural, to do everything for him. And I'm sorry, but I'm just now learning that." a tear trickles down your cheek. "I'm learning to unlearn this stuff, and I need your help."

He's no longer frustrated, but he can hear his heart break in his chest.

"I'll be here with you, my love. Every step of the way."

the breakthrough

It’s pushing 90 degrees today on the Sunny, and it goes without saying; everyone and everything is hot, scorching even. On days like this, or, who was he kidding? Any day, Sanji will whip up something to help the ladies feel better about any nasty weather they’re in, and while you three bask in the sunlight in your guys’ bikini’s. He loved the sight. And he most certainly hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all day.

You sported a 2-piece, the bottom half barely covered by some unbuttoned jean shorts and because of how hot it was out, there was a thin layer of sweat that coated your form which helped accentuate every curve of your body. He watched from a distance for most of the day, almost avoiding you in fear of pouncing on you in front of everyone. You were so sexy, and he almost felt perverted like this.

He had brought over some drinks for you and Nami and Robin to help somewhat alleviate the heat you had all felt, and you three thanked him kindly, but you noticed that same glint in his eyes, the same from the night at the restaurant. A super-duper mischievous one, and you promised you’d familiarize yourself with it. You wanted so desparately get up and take him to your bedroom and let him have his fun-- but you stopped yourself, like Sanji wanted; you to enjoy your time with the girls and not to worry about anything he was making in the kitchen, what he had to clean up, that fun stuff.

“He’s practically devouring you with those eyes he’s giving you.” Robin speaks, and it leaves you a little embarrassed, laying your head down onto the beach towel, he hasn’t been so discreet about the way he was ogling you.

“Yeah well, ‘second I’m done with this drink we’ll see where it takes us.” The girls giggle, and you clink your glasses together in a silent cheers. In truth, you were nervous, but you did well to mask it. “He’s one lucky guy!” Nami says, playfully smacking your butt.

-

Finally, he has you all to himself.

You guys are making out in his bed, and he’s so hard he could die. You’re palming him through his shorts and he moans into your mouth. “Fuck, baby.” At this point your jean shorts were easily discarded onto the floor while he slowly but surely makes his way to untying your bikini. He wants it all off. And he’s not shy about it. “Finally.” He makes work of untying your top piece, and you get lost in pleasure. Your tits are even prettier than he thought, and he licks your bud before starting to suck on it. You already feel your heat pooling through your lower piece. “Th-at feels so… so good Sanji. Yes…” You’ve never felt so sensitive, but with the way Sanji was attacking your breasts all while caressing your hips, coupled with the heat, it felt like so much at one time.

Before you get lost in the absolute euphoria that is Sanji, you become aware of one fact,

This simply just isn’t about you. Those words ring like a bell in your head in the midst of the pleasure, and what kind of girlfriend would you be if you let Sanji do all the work? It was so selfish of you to let yourself think that you could relish in this. After all, it’s all about him. Only, about him.

Women aren't even meant to cum, so don't get ahead of yourself sweetheart.

Trying to push away the thought, you softly cup your hand around his cheek and bring him to your lips to assert yourself.

“This is about you.” You quickly straddle his hips and grind on top of him and he groans at that, craving the new friction you gave him. you looked sexy like this, but he wanted this to go his way this time.

In an act of complete rebuttal, Sanji flips you around and you yelp, he lets out a breathless laugh “Yeah, right.” You’re on your back now, and he spreads your legs. He keeps his eyes on your cunt, looking down at it deliciously, and finally he starts stroking it through the only fabric left on your body, up and down with his thumb. You can’t help but let out a moan, this was new, you were used to being demanded--but not in this way. “San…ji… this isn’t fair to you, ba—”

The audible groan that comes out of him was loud and proud. “So tired of hearing that come from your mouth.” He gently moved your underwear to the side and started rubbing your bare clit. “You know what I think is bad manners?” He looks at you, “When I can’t make you feel like the princess you are.” You can’t help but moan, it was obvious you weren’t used to this kind of treatment.

When he presses your thighs against your torso, you're almost shocked, you assume that he’d start to pull his pants down and have his way, but instead, his head comes down to meet your cunt face to face, he pressed kisses on your inner thighs and the sight is so very romantic, you feel so selfish, so very selfish.

It feels amazing.

When his tongue takes its first long swipe across your cunt, it felt dirty, and sooo good. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in and not long after he started his attack on your clit, lapping and sucking on it like a madman. “Sanji… yes.” You moan his name over and over coupled with some curses, and his hands grip tighter onto your thighs. His squelching and sucking, the sounds are so lewd, and you can feel his drool mixed with your juices trickle all the way down to the mattress. The image would forever be ingrained into your head, it was too perfect.

Sanji starts prodding into your cunt with one finger, and then inserts another, scissoring and fucking them into you while you shake under his wrath. “That feels so good, more, pleaseeee.” He meets your gaze and you want to melt at how he looks at you; like you were his lifeline. You feel a knot form in your stomach, something almost unfamiliar to you. You couldn't remember the last time you had an orgasm unless it was from your own fingers.

“Wanna see that pretty face when you cum on mine.” And the fact that he would be the reason behind it made him only hungrier. "I can't... Baby... It’s so much. I think I might… ohhhhh…." Your mix of Sanji's and Fuck's and Yes' only grew breathier and more demanding. "Cum on my face, please, yes." He begs you and his tongue goes faster over your clit.

When you finally bust, you can only mutter a "Mmmmmmmyesssss" with a heaving chest that followed suit, hips grinding into his tongue so you could ride out your orgasm. Your face was in absolute bliss, eyes squinted, brows furrowed, and mouth a little opened from how good it felt. It's almost too much for you, he gives your cunt a few more licks before getting up and massaging your thighs with his thumbs.

"Did that feel good, princess? I'm sorry if it was a little rough." He comes down to your lips and gives you quick kiss.

"Please fuck me Sanji. I need you inside of me, please."

Who was he to deny his princess?

He kisses your lips again while making quick work of the tied knot on his shorts, he didn't even realize how hard he was until he took his shorts off, cock still in his briefs.

Sanji takes off your stretched out underwear and throws it on the floor once and for all, and his own meet yours soon after.

His cock was very long—8 inches, if you had to guess. Curved upright, and it was beautiful, but you'd be lying if you had said that you weren't a little afraid of taking it. Luckily he catches your gaze and he smiles, "You nervous, princess?"

"Just a little bit..."

"Don't be, I'll take it slow." Had you not spilled to him that night about your failure of a previous relationship, he would've taken you for a virgin the way you trembled looking at his dick. He couldn’t begin to imagine the pain and frustration you had endured in your previous relationship, telling him about how he never let you cum and only sought to chase his own pleasure. He was willing to change that, and right now—he’d be damned if he said the way you look at it didn't turn him all the way on. "Watch it go in. Trust me my love, it's not that bad."

You listen and nod, and you watch with him. He lets it slide across your pulsing heat a couple times before he lets his head slowly slide in, he's biting his lip and lets his own line of curses come out of his mouth. When he's about half way in, another breath you didn't know you were holding lets itself out, and another inch, and another, until he's all the way inside, and saying you felt stuffed was really an understatement.

He takes the back of your knees in your hands and spreads them a little further, he starts moving slowly and you both let your sighs of pleasure out.

He starts to pick up his pace when you ask him to, not too quick but steady enough for you to feel every detail of his cock graze your insides. Because of the heat, it's not long until you're both covered in sweat.

He can't help himself, he comes down to kiss you again and talk you through the moment.

"I'm so lucky to have you."

"You're the prettiest woman I've ever met."

"You look so perfect right now."

The praises were too much and you felt insanely spoiled, something you've never felt before. The slapping of skin, the closeness you felt to him, his cock steadily coming out of you, only for it to stuff you full over and over again. The way he kept his eyes on yours, it was so much. And before you knew it, tears ran down your cheeks, ones of pleasure and joy--you couldn't tell which was which.

"I love you so much, S-Sanji."

He kisses your tears away, "I love you more, princess. You're doing amazing." Kisses your lips, but not for too long as he doesn’t want to mask your beautiful sounds.

“You’re so beautiful when you cum, baby. Are you gonna cum soon? I wanna see it again.”

Now, Sanji’s thrust are sloppier but a little more harder, you can tell he’s probably going to approach an orgasm soon along with you.

“Y-Yes. Ohhhhhh fuuuucckkk~”

“You take me so well, princess. You were made for me.” The clapping between your bodies gets louder, and you try your hardest to bury yourself into the pillow from how good it felt. “Look at me.”

You obeyed, like you always do, even though he looks disheveled; mouth covered in juices and spit, there’s beads of sweat running down his face, he really loves this moment with you.

“Tell me you love me” he says.

“I love you.” His thrusts are inconsistent now, but he’s still hitting the same spongy spot inside of you.

“Again.”

“I love you, Sanji. Ohhh, shit.”

“Again.”

“I love you so much! So, so much! I’m gonna cum again! Mhhh!”

And just like you spoke, you came all over him, it hit his chest, his balls, thighs, and all over the mattress, and he fucks some of it back into you while he follows you in reaching his own orgasm.

Before he can, he pulls out of you and releases the hot white liquid onto your stomach, stroking his dick til there was nothing left in him to give.

Completely disregarding the fact that he just came all over your stomach, he collapses onto you and joins you in almost synchronized breaths. “That was… amazing…” you managed to say. “Thank you so much.”

Sanji rolls over and pulls you onto his chest, “You deserve everything and more, that was only a fragment of how much I appreciate you, sweet thing.”

To his surprise, you get up from your position and look at him. You scan his body and come to one conclusion, “I should probably clean you up a bit.”

He wants to roll his eyes, but instead he takes your arm and yanks you down with him in the same position you were before. “If I’m gonna be dirty, I’ll be dirty with to you. But if you wanna take a bath with me, that’s a different story” once again, that mischievous undertone in his voice is something you can’t miss.

You’ve still got a long way to go, but he’ll be there with you through every step.

[goldfades]

𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | request -> "STOP IM SO HAPPY UR MAKING PAIGE X WBB MEDIA MANAGER A SERIES BC I SENT IN THE FIRST REQUEST 😽😽😽 fic with paige and reader being out and a little wasted and getting interviewed by fellow college student about their relationship and working together etc. (could end in smut if u like ;)) // inspo: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL9fH1p1/" (love you nonnie thank you for giving me the idea to make this series, ur the best mwahhhh hope you enjoyed)

─ word count | 1k

─ warnings | so much sexual tension its bad, paige being possessive (in a cutesy way!), interviewer being kinda weird/suggestive, mentions of drinking/getting high, some language, nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @uraesthete @hello-nah817 @wanderlusturous and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | okay so this is kinda part of the manager series (if u guys want it to be) or if u have no idea what it is, thats fine!!!! i wanted to make it a standalone cus it felt better to me that way but whichever you'd like to read it, read it!! idk why that specific tiktok is my roman empire, it's just the way she talks and EVERYTHING makes me physically so like..... obsessed i don't even know, like GODDDDD im so attracted to her

YOUR FEET HAD begun to hurt an hour ago and your entire body felt sore, though you didn't feel very tired though.

You were two and half redbull vodkas in and let's just say you were tipsy; you weren't quite drunk yet but you were definitely on the way. As you stumbled slightly through the sidewalks of the UConn campus, your only guide was Paige's hand on your waist. The combination of the alcohol and Paige's presence made everything seem surreal, like you were walking through a really good dream.

You felt giddy, that was the only way you could describe it. You were drunk, sure but mostly off of Paige's lingering touch. You were excited by it, as if every brush of her fingers against your skin sent a jolt of electricity through your body. The night air was crisp, but you hardly noticed as you leaned into her warmth, reveling in the sensation of her warmth.

Paige's laughter bubbled up beside you was infectious, pulling you deeper. You found yourself laughing along, not entirely sure what was so funny but not exactly caring either. The world seemed to shrink to just the two of you in a bubble of tipsy euphoria.

You and Paige leaned against the railing, a cup in her hand as she gazed at you while you spoke about god-knows-what, she wasn't really sure anymore. She was zoned out until she felt a tap on her shoulder, to be met with a pair of new eyes.

Her face contorted into confusion as she sat up, glancing at you then back at the stranger. "Are you Paige and Y/N?"

"Yeah, what's up?" She replied quickly as she straightened up, a forced smile on her face.

He returned the smile gratefully, "I'm a big fan, uh... can we interview you two?" The guy spoke quickly as he glanced back at his friend, who was waving awkwardly.

Paige glanced back at you with a smile of her own as she waited for your approval. You nodded slowly as you glanced back at the guys as you surveyed the surroundings. "Just be chill, okay?"

He nodded as his friend pulled out his phone as he took out his phone and began using it as a microphone. He cleared his throat as he smiled, looking at his friend to start recording.

"Who are here with today?" He spoke as he brought it up to Paige's lips, then yours.

"Paige Bueckers,"

"And uh, Y/N L/N. By the way, she's not drinking alcohol," you added with a smile as Paige laughed.

Paige nodded and gestured to her drink. "I'm drinking a shirley temple, no alcohol."

"Yeah, we don't do that around here." The guy added with a laugh as the two of you glanced at each other, holding in your laughter.

Paige grinned, her tone amused as she played. "Y/N's here to keep in check though,"

"So you guys are actually close, like outside all the sports stuff?" He glanced in between you guys, noticing the close proximity between you.

You shared a knowing look with Paige. "Oh yeah, Paige and I are practically inseparable," you replied with a grin, your voice laced with fondness.

Paige nodded as she gazed at you, a smirk playing on her lips. "Yeah, Y/N's my girl, on and off the court."

You couldn't help but feel warm under her unwavering gaze as you laughed and averted your gaze back to the guy who was watching you two closely.

"As in like, best friend?" He clarified as he looked back at the camera with a laugh.

"What else?" Paige replied with amusement and slight agitation as she finally broke her gaze, a small laugh leaving her lips. "Obviously,"

"How is it like working together though, if you guys are really close? If I had to spend all that time with my best friend, not sure I would make it." The interviewer joked as he glanced back at the camera.

Paige furrowed her eyebrows as she laughed. "It's not bad at all, it's really fun. We hang out a lot, we get to go on trips together and share hotel rooms, it's a blessing."

She glanced back at you with a smile as you nodded slowly, feeling yourself draw closer to her. "Yeah, it is a blessing," that was all you could get out as you watched Paige wet her lips and laugh, turning away slightly.

You were pretty sure that the interviewer had caught on to the obvious tension but you didn't care at this point, you were lost in the moment, captivated by Paige. The interviewer's words seemed to fade into the background as you found yourself drawn closer to her, your heart pounding with a mixture of excitement.

"Why do you wear Paige's jersey rather than anyone else's?" He asked, his tone laced with amusement as he watched you zone back in.

Paige's eyebrows furrowed as she looked at the guy, clearly getting annoyed by his stupid question. But before she could respond with a less polite answer, you did with a laugh. "I don't only wear her jersey, it was one time and it was because it was her first game back after her injury."

Paige's expression softened as she nodded in agreement, her irritation dissipating. "Yeah, it meant a lot to me to see her wearing my jersey that day."

The interviewer nodded before he glanced back at the camera before to you two again. "Okay, okay. Last question, do you think you could beat me in a 1v1?"

"Absolutely," Paige replied with a laugh as she grabbed your arm and pulled you away, beginning to walk off before the interviewer kept talking.

"Okay bet, whoever wins gets to take Y/N out," he called out, his tone playful as he flashed a smirk toward the camera.

Paige turned around to give him the nastiest glare of all time as she kept walking forward. "I already do that, bro."

You stifled a laugh at Paige's quick retort, her playful possessiveness bringing a warmth to your cheeks. The interviewer's eyes widened in surprise at Paige's response, clearly caught off guard by her boldness as he laughed, turning back to the camera.

You two just walked off as Paige's hand moved down back to your waist as you continued on your way. Despite the slightly heated exchange, you couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in your chest at Paige's possessiveness.

──── COMMENTS

cam 🎀 | this has to be their hard launch or something cus DAMN😭 ♡ 792

↳ user893492948493 | ngl i can't even deny it anymore and i was the biggest anti paige and y/n person OUT THERE

↳ lily :p | "my girl" 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Jake | is it just me or does paige like girls? ♡ 701

↳ ella :) | ????? yeah????

↳ Jake | this is news to me uhh

lovergirl <3 | okay what about sharin hotel rooms now... ♡ 432

ZM | bro why would u say that 😭😭😭 in front of PAIGE BUECKERS 😭😭 ♡ 1.1k

✌🏼💥💁🏻‍♀️ | am i interrupting something... 😰 ♡ 994

cailey ☀️ | okay who is y/n whats her instagram where does she go who is she is she dating anyone wow shes beautiful ♡ 2k

↳ 💯💯 | everyones collective reaction when they first see y/n

↳ cailey ☀️ | going through a rabbit hole rn brb, she's so pretty what 😭

↳ #1 swiftie 💍 | cailey watch out girl ur on paige's watchlist now....

🤗🤗 | the damn tension in air damn im not even y/n and i feel hot ♡ 118

Thomas W | they are both drunk as hell bro what is up with the laughing 😭 ♡ 1.2k

user83948928932 | bro met y/n l/n and paige bueckers and continued to ask the worst questions of all time ♡ 591

↳ uconn luvr | and paige was good with the comebacks like okayyy baee protect ur girl!!

↳ 💥 bow | they are not dating, can two girls just be friends anymore?

↳ uconn luvr | she literally calls her "my girl" in like the first 2 seconds of the video

Isabelle Reece ✨ | paige was too quick w that reply to just be "best friends" with her 💀 ♡ 903

↳ ur fav aries | bro i know she was smooth with it too like💁🏻‍♀️

y/n's bitch 💙 | idk who i wanna be more y/n or paige ♡ 252

↳ mikey 🤑 | theyre both so hot

↳ 🧚‍♀️ | mike ima have sit you down for this...

↳ taylor! | ohh... thats not...

Chris | shes cooking you respectfully ♡ 1k

i 💙 uconn wbb | if this doesn't prove y/n and paige are together idk what will

♡ 853

────

part 2?? cus i lowk wanna write smut for this now... lmk

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[mamawasatesttube]

ended up doing... neither? something else... (attempting ma kent pov for the first time ever)

“Conner did mention to me that you don’t like celebrating it much,” she says, gentler. “If you really don’t want to, I can put the candles up and we can just call this a regular dessert when he gets back.”

That makes Tim look up from the table. For a moment, he looks like a lost little lamb, and Martha suddenly wants to pinch his cheeks and coo over him. “He said that?”

“Well, yes.” Martha squeezes his shoulder. “He didn’t say why, just said not to do anything much. I asked him if a cake would be alright, and he said it should be, but if he guessed wrong…”

“No! No—it’s fine. It’s—it’s very nice.” Tim exhales, squaring his shoulders, and smiles at her. It’s small, but genuine, at least. “I just, uh… I haven’t done anything for my birthday since my dad died.”

“Oh,” Martha murmurs, and a swell of sympathy rises up in her chest. She remembers the first years after she lost her parents, how she clung to Jonathan and wondered how she’d ever feel warm and happy again. “Dear heart.”

She reaches for him, pulls him into her arms slowly enough that he could back away, if he wanted. She’s always thought of him a little like a skittish animal, though he’s always been sweet and eager to help out around the farm. It’s just that sometimes, she’s caught him watching her and Conner tease each other and laugh in the kitchen with such wistfulness it takes her breath away, even now. Like he’s at the window, stuck on the outside and looking in.

Now, he’s frozen in her embrace for just a moment before he sinks into her, his bony chin coming to rest on her shoulder. It takes him another moment to bring his arms up around her, but when he finally does, he curls his fingers into the back of her shirt and holds on fiercely. She squeezes him back twice as tight, and doesn’t pull away until he does.

After several heartbeats, he draws back. His face seems a little more open than before, his eyes shining; he looks down at the cake again with a tiny, adorable smile.

“Is that why you’re here, and not in Gotham?” Martha asks him gently, her fingers grazing over his elbow. “You’re always welcome, of course, but when Conner mentioned it’s your birthday this weekend, I wondered why you didn’t want to spend it with your family, there…”

Tim’s smile turns a little sardonic, tinged perhaps with the slightest edge of bitterness. “No, I try not to spend birthdays in Gotham.” He looks, for a moment, like there’s more on the tip of his tongue, but swallows it back down.

half of me wants to bang out a quick lighthearted silly core four fluff piece for tim day. the other half of me wants to bang out a quick moody introspective tim and all his fucking issues character study for tim day. since i can't decide i suppose i shall simply do neither. alas!

[7s3ven]

Hi! I love all of your harry potter writing!! I was wondering if maybe you could do something thats one of the slytherin guys (theo preferably) with a hufflepuff girl reader and just a tonnn of angst? like a happy ending but just a good amount of angst lol (maybe hes mean to her or smtg - or like he is just to keep up an appearance in front of his slytherin friends??) idk lol

ANGST IS MY FORTE.

BACK TO THE START. theodore nott

IN WHICH… theodore nott is dating the perfect girl, yet prefers to keep her hidden from his friends.

“Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.”

Warnings/notes : angst (duh, it’s me), matteo riddle and his dumb jokes, illusion to mature content, panic attack, astoria x draco mentioned, pansy x blaise mentioned

—

A/N : thank you so much for the request and the kind comment!

Being a Slytherin was hard. Being part of the popular cliche was even worse. It wasn’t hard for Theodore Nott to blend in with his crowd. He was rich, a little bit crazy when he drank, and as all of them were, an asshole to an extent.

Theo had his life all planned out; get sorted into Slytherin, check. Join the popular group, check. Date another rich Slytherin girl who he’d only use for reputation, not checked. That last point was an important part of his life plan but, as if the universe intentionally wanted to screw him over, his gaze was constantly stuck on a Hufflepuff.

Y/N L/N wasn’t all too bad. She was pretty (or gorgeous as Theo liked to mentally describe her), rich enough, and had a big reputation in school and outside. She should have been Theo’s ideal type if she wasn’t draped in that damn yellow uniform.

Nevertheless, Theo was smitten by her. He talked to her in secret, wanting to avoid his friends’ shifty eyes and gossip. They’d no doubt tell his parents that he was talking to a Hufflepuff of all people. But, at least she wasn’t in Gryffindor.

He kept her hidden from the world, which he knew she hated but what else could he do?

“Theo.” Y/N called out in the empty hallway. She had her books clutched closely to her chest, scared they’d drop. Theo passed, his heart slightly sinking.

How was he supposed to tell Y/N, his secret girlfriend, that he still wanted to remain a secret despite promising her otherwise? Theo didn’t have the time to even think about it before he heard loud chatter that could only be his friends.

“Theo!” Pansy exclaimed, jogging towards him. She didn’t even notice Y/N, pushing past the H/C-haired girl without a word. “You have to try Enzo’s batch of cookies! He’s actually getting good at baking after last month’s incident.”

Theo lightly chuckled before he remembered Y/N was still here. She was looking at him like she expected him to do something. He quickly brushed past Pansy. He could feel his friends staring daggers into his back, all curious as to what he was doing.

“I told you I don’t want to go out with you. Leave me alone, Hufflepuff.” Theo wasn’t half-bad at acting after all the times he had to pretend to brush Y/N off for the sake of his friends. He subtly leaned forward, “I can’t be weak around my friends, Y/N. You understand, right? I’ll tell them soon.”

It was ironic how Theo made the first move yet never revealed his relationship with Y/N.

“Yeah… sure.” Y/N whispered.

Theo quickly walked away, catching up with his friends. “What was that?” Astoria questioned as she hooked arms with Theo to quicken his pace.

“Just another lovesick girl.” Theo uttered, loud enough for Y/N to hear. He didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked away, breaking yet another empty promise.

“Isn’t that the same girl from two weeks ago?” Pansy asked.

“They all look the same to me.” His words, fake or not, always left Y/N wondering what was wrong with their relationship. She was a good girlfriend so why was Theo always acting so embarrassed of her? Was he ashamed of her?

Theo told her every time that he’d make their relationship public but he never did, too scared of what his parents and companions would think.

What a coward.

Y/N arrived in the Great Hall and immediately slumped into her usual seat beside her friends. “Hi.” She casually greeted them.

“Boyfriend troubles again?” One of her friends, Cerci, asked.

They all knew Y/N was dating someone from Slytherin, but she never told them his name. They didn’t doubt her, there were plenty of other Slytherin guys who would have asked Y/N out if it wasn’t for Theo.

“He keeps saying he’ll tell his friends but he never does. And it drags on for months. I can’t stand it anymore.” Y/N stabbed her breakfast with her fork and sighed.

“Just break up.” Alice, another girl, piped up. Cerci elbowed her.

“You can’t just say that, Alice. You know this topic is sensitive to Y/N.”

“I’m just saying. If he treats her so wrong, why not just break up?”

The pair begun to bicker, as always. There was never a dull moment with Cerci and Alice around. Y/N’s eyes shifted to Theo, who was trying to shake Astoria off his arm. He succeeded, but spilled pumpkin juice on his blazer.

Matteo immediately burst into laughter that could be heard even at the Hufflepuff table. Alice and Cerci seemed to notice the commotion.

“Nott and Greengrass are at it again.” Alice sighed. “You know, there’s a rumor going around that they’re dating.”

Cerci scoffed. “No way. Greengrass likes Malfoy, everybody knows that. And besides, I saw Nott with some H/C-haired girl and they seemed pretty close.”

Y/N quickly lifted her head, lips parted. “What?” She asked. “You saw Theo with someone?”

Cerci scrunched up her eyebrows. “Since when did you start calling him Theo?”

“We were paired up for potions last year. Old habit, sorry.” Y/N quickly lied through her teeth.

Theo was a master at hiding things, even his girlfriend, but not good enough to avoid Cerci’s watchful eye.

“Nott’s handsome, I guess, but have you seen Riddle? Too bad he’s a player.” Alice mumbled before taking a sip from her goblet.

Cerci snickered. “And an idiot. He asked me if the color orange came before the fruit. Everyone knows it’s the color.”

“No. It’s the fruit.” Alice immediately backfired. “Thats like asking if the chicken came before the egg. Which, by the way, was the chicken because of evolution.”

“Where did the chicken come from then? It needs to come from an egg.”

Y/N could only slump in her seat once more as her friends argued about trivial matters that she didn’t care about.

“Woah. What did I miss on my bathroom break?” Esme, the last member of their closely knit friend group, returned. She readjusted her blouse as she sat next to Y/N, stealing a grape from Cerci’s plate.

“Y/N’s having relationship problems with her little boyfriend. Any advice?” Cerci uttered through mouthfuls of food.

“And how does that relate to your argument about chickens and oranges?” Esme raised an eyebrow.

“What came first? The chicken or the egg?” Alice asked, leaning forward to know Esme’s opinion on the matter.

Esme sighed, quickly rolling her eyes. “Oh, not this again. It doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t we be focusing on Y/N right now?”

Alice and Cerci exchanged a glance before looking back at Y/N.

Esme sighed. “You two are useless sometimes. Y/N, if you don’t want to be secret anymore, confront him about it. It’s not fair to you if he keeps you hidden.”

Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line before sparing another look at Theo. “Yeah, I’ll try.” She murmured, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand.

—

Y/N spent all day thinking about what to do. Either she could confront Theo, which seemed like the obvious choice, or let him walk all over her. As much as she wanted to choose the first option, she was still an empath and wanted to see what was burdening Theo so much.

It was in potions, one of Y/N’s unexpectedly best classes, when Matteo Riddle surprisingly approached her. “L/N, right?” The handsome boy asked, leaning forward onto her desk. Y/N’s eyes darted to Theo, whose jaw was tightly clenched.

“Uh… yes.” Y/N muttered, lightly clearing her throat.

“I hear you’re good at potions. You wouldn’t mind tutoring me, right? I’ll make sure to give you a special treat after.” Matteo winked with a stupid boyish grin on his face that Y/N would’ve found charming if Theo didn’t exist.

“Back it up, Matteo.” Theo interrupted, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder and forcing Matteo to take a step back. Y/N’s heart jumped and she subconsciously sat up straighter in her chair. She tried to smile at Theo, anything to catch his wavering attention, but it was fruitless. The next words that rolled off Theo’s tongue stunned Y/N. “You know better than to be associating with low-life, Hufflepuff trash.”

Y/N’s smile immediately dropped. She could feel Theo’s apologetic gaze on her but his words cut deep. Theo left Y/N to sit with Pansy, who had been watching the whole thing with furrowed eyebrows.

“He’s joking.” Matteo tried to cover for his friend. Out of all the Slytherin boys, Y/N had expected for Matteo to be the meanest. But here he was, trying to lighten the mood with a Hufflepuff of all people.

“Right.” Y/N whispered, blinking away tears. If Theo were anybody else, maybe a random classmate she barely acknowledged, then his words wouldn’t have hit so deep. But he was her boyfriend.

Theodore Nott was the same boy who secretly showed up to every quidditch practice when Y/N had been on the team. He was the same sweet boy who aimlessly followed Y/N around the school when she was nothing but his crush, asking to hold her books. Since when had Y/N been the one chasing after him?

Y/N subtly packed her things away with the intention of skipping class to rewatch The Notebook or any other film that would lift her spirit.

Barely anybody noticed her slipping out of the classroom. She almost bumped into Professor Snape, who had been walking in at the same time. After seeing her glassy eyes and shaking hands, Snape let her past with a nod of acknowledgment.

“I expect you to catch up, Miss L/N. Complete page two hundred and twenty three.” Snape uttered.

“Yes, professor.” She weakly replied back.

She was walking to the bathrooms, head lowered and trying to hold back tears, when someone grasped her shoulder and spun her around. Y/N let out a loud gasp of surprise before a hand covered her mouth and she was dragged into an empty classroom.

“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t do!” Y/N exclaimed as she screwed her eyes shut and held her hands up. “I swear I didn’t steal your pet snake! When will you let it go?!” After hearing nothing but silence, she opened one eye. “Oh… it’s you, Theo.”

She was slightly glad it was only him and not the strange boy from two months ago who was sure Y/N stole his pet snake. He went to extreme lengths to try and prove it.

“First I’ve heard of that pet snake. We’ll go back to that later because I’m curious.” Theo placed his hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “Y/N, you know I love you.” Of course she knew that. It was hard to miss when Theo would mutter the same three words between every hidden, breathless kiss. “My parents and even friends expect a lot from me and I can’t go around just telling people I’m dating a Hufflepuff.”

Theo said Y/N’s house like it was a derogatory term.

“Are you breaking up with me?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“What? No.” Theo was at a loss for words. Y/N truly was his whole world but letting both Y/N and his Pureblood life collide was a recipe for disaster.

“Really? Because this sounds like a breakup speech.” Y/N retorted. A few tears slid down her cheeks and Theo was quick to wipe them away.

“I’m not breaking up with you. I just need you to understand what I’m doing.”

Y/N didn’t know if she could ever understand his reasons. They were all so bizarre and could be easily solved through telling the truth. A sudden wave of confidence drew over Y/N.

“I don’t understand, Theo. You always reassure me that you’ll tell your friends about us but you never do. And sometimes you’re mean to me just to save your reputation. You showed interest first, you talked to me first. You initiated everything first, so why are you trying to pretend like you didn’t? Matteo Riddle out of all people had the heart to comfort me while you walked away. You’re supposed to be nice to me, Theo, that’s your job as my boyfriend.”

Theo never once interrupted her, knowing he was in the wrong. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could muster.

“I don’t want an apology. I want you to tell your friends.”

Theo sighed. “You know I can’t… you know I need to keep up my appearance.”

“Is losing me not reason enough?”

“Don’t make me choose, Y/N.” Theo shook his head. “Please. You know how important my reputation is.”

Y/N slowly grasped Theo’s hands, intertwining their fingers for a moment before dropping them. “If you can’t choose, I’ll decide for you. I don’t want to be a secret anymore, Theo, and it’s clear that you won’t give up your reputation. So keep your reputation and I’ll see myself out.”

“No, Y/N, please.” Theodore Nott was above begging but he’d get down on his knees and plead for Y/N to stay. “I can’t do this without you. I need you. Please. Y/N.”

He watched as she picked up her bag, sparing Theo one more look over her shoulder. “Sorry, Theo. It’s for the best.” She brushed past the door, gently closing it behind her. Theo slumped into a seat behind him, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands gripping his face.

What had he done?

He felt stupid now for not mustering up the courage to tell his friends about Y/N. His leg bounced up and down as he regretted every mean word he spoke to Y/N in an attempt to cover up their relationship. She didn’t deserve that. She was the kindest girl he knew, always giving others a helping hand.

He gripped his shirt, nails digging into the skin beneath the thin fabric. Theo could feel his heart beating at an abnormal rate but it wouldn’t stop no matter how many desperate deep breaths he inhaled.

The room suddenly felt too small and Theo felt claustrophobic, a feeling he had never experienced before. The world was flashing before his eyes with every ragged breath he took.

“Y/N, please don’t go.” He whispered despite knowing she was already long gone by now. He wrapped his arms around himself, shaking. “Don’t go.” He repeated as an attempt to comfort himself. He harshly tugged at his hair, cursing at himself for being so stupid as to letting Y/N go.

He should have tried harder. He should have done everything she asked. He only had his reputation to worry about, but at what cost?

With his head hanging low, he made his way back towards his dorm, trusting his friends would bring his supplies back. He collapsed onto his bed, feeling numb. He was a little bit angry that Y/N broke it off so casually without much tears. Was he not worth it? He suddenly realized how Y/N felt, having to watch your lover walk away like nothing happened.

—

The days following the breakup were gloomy, and that was an understatement. Theo realized early that Y/N was much better at masking her feelings behind a fake facade of happiness than him. He spent every free hour wallowing in self-pity, hoping to catch another glimpse of Y/N like the good old days where he didn’t care about his relationship.

“Theo.” Pansy waved a hand in front of Theo’s face. He scowled, not wanting to go through another rant of how Blaise refused to make the first move. She sat beside him on the green couch, handing him a bottle of alcohol. It was the end of the term, and as always the Slytherin house decided to host a large party. Anybody was invited, unless your name was Harry Potter.

Draco had gone as far in their petty rivalry to hang up a sign at the entrance, stating “no Potters”allowed. He spelled Potter wrong at first, spelling it as pottery, which resulted in the Weasley twins bringing in jars of clay pottery. Theo quietly laughed at that.

“How’s your girl?” Pansy asked as she took a sip from her can of lemonade vodka.

“We broke up. She had enough of me- wait.” Theo quickly turned his head to stare at Pansy, “How do you know about Y/N?”

Pansy simply shrugged with a grin stretching across her lips. “Your words are convincing, Theo, but I’ve known you for a while. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you sneaking off and coming back with lipstick marks?”

Theo’s head hung low. “It doesn’t matter now. She’s done with me and vice versa.” He swirled his drink around before taking a gulp.

“You’re stupid, you know.” Pansy spoke up, “If you liked her so much, you shouldn’t have let her go.”

“I had no choice.”

“You had a choice. The door for you was wide open. You just never stepped inside, too scared of others’ opinions.”

“I’m a Pureblood. I can’t be dating a Hufflepuff girl.”

“You’re a boy, Theo. Three years from now, nobody will care that you dated a Hufflepuff.”

“I’ll care!” Theo exclaimed over the loud blaring music. Pansy didn’t flinch, only staring at him with a mix of pity and annoyance. “My parents expect me to marry a Slytherin girl.”

“You sacrificed your girlfriend for something your parents told you ten years ago?” Pansy was judging him now with a hardened stare. “Be careful how you treat girls, Theo. One day, you’ll realize the possibility of losing her is very much real.”

Pansy subtly pointed behind Theo. He glanced over his shoulder, his wandering gaze immediately spotting Y/N. Her friend, Alice, had an arm hooked around her while a boy was trying to hold a conversation.

“Do what you want, Theo. But if you don’t act fast, you’ll lose her for good.” Pansy stood up to retrieve another drink.

Theo, with his heart beating too fast to be healthy, jumped to his feet and pushed past the crowd. He didn’t know what he was going to do or what he was even going to say but he was determined to shove the other boy away.

Blaise was standing with Matteo on the other side of the room, holding a microphone. A dumb idea struck Theo, which he knew he was going to regret the moment he stepped onto that stage.

Y/N’s eyes lit up as she saw Theo walking through the crowd, scowling at anybody in his way. He caught her gaze and for a second she thought he was going to willingly talk to her in front of his peers. But he walked straight past, his shoulder lightly brushing hers.

Y/N deflated, all hope of having a second chance with Theo disappearing. Until she heard the microphone screech and the music abruptly stopped.

She didn’t have to turn to know who was interrupting the party. She heard his voice and immediately knew

“I’m going to fucking regret this. Matteo, shut your mouth or I’ll throw you out the window.” Theo said, glaring at his friend. He sighed before continuing. “I had a girlfriend.”

Some of the crowd lightly gasped, not expecting Hogwarts resident playboy to start his announcement off with that.

“She was sweet, and kind, and all I could ask for. But I cared more about what my family and friends thought so I lost her. I always promised her that I’d tell my friends about us but I never did so I’m doing it now. I don’t expect her to forgive me.” Theo glanced at Y/N who was already staring at him with her head tilted to the side slightly. “But I owe it to her.”

“Hurry up, man!” Someone shouted, “This is boring!”

“I’ll throw you into the black lake so it’s not boring!” Theo aggressively yelled back. “All I’m trying to say is that I had a girlfriend who wasn’t a Slytherin like most people expected. I was head over heels for a Hufflepuff.”

Theo didn’t hesitate to expose his secret. After years of stating he’d date a Slytherin to anybody who would listen, he ended up with a Hufflepuff instead of one of his lovesick Slytherin fangirls.

"Theo, man, I wanna get back to drinking. Are you done?!" Matteo yelled, cupping his hands over his mouth.

"Matteo, I'm done when I'm done! Y/N L/N is the girl I'm head over heels for, okay?! I forced her to keep our relationship hidden, and I will always regret that. She is smart, beautiful, and kind and if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would announce to the whole world that we were dating! After we broke up, I didn’t want anything else but to talk to her again. So I drew her over and over again and my mind was focused on only her.”

Matteo snickered from the side of the stage. “Dude.” He said, almost judging Theo for being so vulnerable.

“Shut up, you banged a Gryffindor girl then cried when she said it was nothing but a hookup. Don’t pretend like I didn’t see you sobbing and eating ice cream in the kitchen.” Theo wittily retorted.

That silenced Matteo.

“I don’t understand why as a Slytherin, I have to date another Slytherin. I can be happy with a Hufflepuff too, whoever I date doesn’t alter my way of living. Now I'm done, go get drunk, Matteo!" Theo shoved the microphone into Matteo's hands, glaring at him.

Theo found Y/N with Alice, who was intensely questioning the H/C-haired girl. “When were you going to tell me the Theodore Nott was your boyfriend?!” Alice yelled as she shook Y/N by the shoulders. "Were you ever going to tell us?!"

"Ex-boyfriend." Y/N quickly corrected her friend.

"Secret admirer, actually. Like old times." Theo butted in, standing behind Y/N with his hands shoved into his pockets. “I’m not demanding you to forgive me, Y/N.”

He kneeled down, gripping onto Y/N’s hands like his life depended on it. He had seen enough romance movies with Y/N to get the hint of what kind of guy she wanted.

“From now on, no more secrets. I don’t care if you never take me back, all I need is for you to look in my direction again. Let’s start over, Y/N.”

—

The school was buzzing with gossip after last night’s party, the word of Y/N and Theo’s relationship spreading fast.

“Is it true?” Hermione asked, leaning forward. “Were you really dating Theodore Nott?” Y/N silently smiled, sick of all the questions she was receiving. At least it was her last class for the day, she could return to her dorm after and sleep.

Y/N was the first out of the door when class ended. She turned down an empty hallway, a shortcut she would always take with Theo when she was too lazy to hike through the large castle.

“Hey, Y/N, right?” Someone questioned.

Y/N looked over her shoulder, half-expecting another guy to shoot his shot after hearing the news about her and Theo. Instead, it was actually Theo.

“I’m Theodore Nott, nice to meet you again.”

Y/N stared at his outstretched hand before slowly shaking it. “Nice to see you too, Theo. Where are you heading?”

“To the kitchen to bake some cookies with a certain beautiful girl. Would you care to tag along?”

When Theo said he wanted to start over, Y/N didn’t know he’d take it to the very beginning.

“What kind of cookies?” She asked as they walked through the hallway, hands linked.

“Your favourite along with a cup of coffee while you study herbology. Just like old times.”

[yllwjktscult]

(Un)lucky- a blessing or a curse? pt.1/?. A yellowjackets fanfic

!!! disclaimer- english is NOT my native language so there for sure will be grammar mistakes!!!

edit: made a playlist for this fic so you can feel worse🥰🫶���� -> here

edit: next chapter -> here

!!platonic yellowjackets x reader!! but! it MIGHT be romantic one later on, i still dont know if i want to make it romantic or nah (if yes it would be lottie x reader or lottienat x reader but fr i dunno yet)

WC: 4.8k

TW: depression, suicide thoughts, anxiety, psych institute, mention of selfharm, alcohol, drugs and overdose. In short, this whole ff is a TW itself. It is not a HAPPY fiction, at the end there might be happiness but not for the first few chapters:,) so if you are looking for a happy fic, LEAVE 😭 you have been warned sweetie🥹

AN: However if you STILL want to read this cause you are interested, i am putting a trigger warning to where the selfharm or overdose will be talked about, you can skip that part:] its not detailed, but it could trigger someone, so just in case it will be there.

Also! lmfao the drawing was made poorly at 3 am, but it fullfills the purpose of what i tried to describe and had in my mind soo, just dont look at it too much (its picture with a lots of lines so it would look like a drawing, i was so f lazy to actually draw the whole thing, i admit)

also i see this as 3-4 part story, but dunno yet, we will see🙂‍↕️

anyway enjoy this shitty fanfic🫶🏻

(Un)lucky to you, you couldnt go with yellowjackets, to go with them to nationals, due to getting a horrible flu 2 days before they were supposed to fly.

You werent on the team, but you were their "lucky charm" as they loved to call you. Each time you went to their game, they won.

They were your friends, close friends even.

Till this day you dont know if getting sick was a luck or curse.

Thats why you are now curled up in a ball in your bed in a psych ward institute, feeling empty and lonely after another electro shock therapy that you have been getting a lot lately.

A single tear fell down your face as you hugged your knees to your chest more.

You cant believe its been over a year since they were proclaimed dead and since your life took a turn upside down. When everything turned dark. Since you lost yourself. You still remember that day like it was yesterday, even tho its been a year since your breakdown and when the hell started. A loop you cant escape.

You closed your eyes as you curled up more into a ball, hugging your knees as you repeated "they are dead, they are dead" all over again. Thats what they have been telling you for months anyway, especially after electro shock therapy when you are the most vulnerable and easily to be manipulated during the few minutes after it.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

(flashback)

Its been a month since their plane got lost somewhere on their way to nationals.

You couldnt sleep, coulnt eat and were checking news every single moment you could. Hoping, no scratch that, you were WISHING to hear that they found them all alive and healthy. You felt in your heart that they are alive, you feel it..

You grabbed Lotties hoodie she lent you when you were cold one time on one of their games, its an ugly blue and yellow color, significant to your highschool (p1), but you were happy to wear it that time due to too being cold. You never returned it, and honestly you didnt even want to, its not like Lottie minded that. Nat gave you one of her old school team jacket (p2) too so you are warm, you were shivering like a chichuana that night because you just wore a tshirt and a flannel as you sat on bleachers cheering for them as you always did, they all laughed at your shivering state that time, but were smiling at you with pure adoration. Taissa gave you her beanie (p3) so you arent that cold.

They all adored you, you might have not been on the team, but sure they treated you like you were. After all, you all were friends and loved each other.

With a sad smile you put the hoodie on and as well the jacket, its raining today and you have this weird feeling inside of your chest, like anxiety and no matter how much you try to shake it off, you cant. You just shruggled it off, its probably the lack of sleep, stress, sadness and lack of energy in your body since you dont eat that much ever since they went missing. All you can focus is "what happened to them and where are they".

You wore Lotties hoodie and Nats jacket for the past month almost on daily basis as a form of comfort.

You couldnt check the news today like you always did before going to school due to being late, so with a quick motion you grabbed your backpack from the ground and went to school with this uncomfortable feeling in your chest, clinging onto the clothes of your lost friends, deep in your thoughts.

As you walked to school you could see some of you classmates giving you those sad looks you grow to get used to over the past month. Everyone in school knew how close you were to them. And everyone knew you didnt take the news well. But today, they were different, they felt different, they were filled with guilt and pity.

The weird feeling in your chest grew more intense the more you get closer, it felt like a gut feeling that something is wrong as you took steps closer to the school front door.

Hugging the jacket closer to your body as you went thru the front door and met with more looks like the ones outside. You knew something is not right.

"Everyone please meet im gym in 10 minutes" was heard from the announcement thru the reproductor from the principal office, she only uses this when theres something important. The uncomfortable feeling grew in extreme now, your chest tightening, your fingers getting cold, a lump in your throat forming in your chest and you are getting nauseous.

You didnt like this feeling, not at all. Its the same one you had, when you got caught cheating on your test in sixth grade.

As you sat on the gym bleachers in the front row due to being the only empty spaces avaible, everyone was whispering, but you couldnt make out what it was, you felt uncomfortable with all those stares.

"Hello everyone" said the principal into the microphone as the rest of the teachers stand next to her with sad eyes and serious expressions. And you knew something is not right.

"As most of you know, today, our beloved yellowjackets, coach Scott and coach Marinez with his sons and pilots were proclaimed dead after one month of intense searching of their missing plane" the principal said with a sad tone as she looked around.

Your heart stopped, your whole body freezing at her words. Your breath stoping mid breath take. You couldnt believe what you were hearing. No, they are not dead. They cant be. They are alive.

You feel them. You still feel the connection.

You stand from your seat "w-what? n-no they cant be dead, they are NOT dead" you said with a shaky voice snd disbelief written all over your face as you looked at the principal ignoring the sad pity expression of your classmates and teachers "t-they are NOT dead. I- I can feel them" you pointed at your heart "t-they are not dead" you repeated. "They cant be dead" you whispered as your eyes filled with tears and the feeling that you had since morning overtaking your body completely.

The principal looked at you with sad expression and said into a microphone "i know its hard to believe, but they proclaimed them dead an hour ago sweetie. Im so sorry, i know they were your best friends" she finished with a sad smile looking at you.

Your whole world stopped and started spiralling when the news set in .

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, a slow heartbeat. A ringing in your ears grow higher. Coldness going thru your body, fingertips being ice cold and knees growing weak.

The uncomfortable feeling in your chest grew to a point you could feel it in your veins as you started hypervilating. All those memories of your friends filling your brain, all those moments you laughed, moments you shared, moments of when you were just happy filling your brain as tears starts to roll down your face as you repeated "no" all over again and before you even knew it, you fall down on your knees with shaky hands clutching the jacket that you wore and belonged to Nat like your life depended on it as you rocked yourself back and forth on your knees.

You didnt know that you were having a breakdown. You didnt know that this moment was your last day of peace.

A last day, when you were you.

You didnt know you fell into a psychosis that will last a for months.

Before you knew it, the principal went from the stage with other teachers right next to you, trying to calm you down even when they were panicking inside, but it didnt work out, they couldnt help you to calm down, so they called an ambulance that took you to hospital, where you got sedatives and stayed a day and night in there.

The next 2 months were in blur, you were either drunk or high on drugs. Constantly out of your mind. Running from your thoughts, hallucinations and feelings. You barely spoke to anyone, unless it was someone who gave you drugs or someone who would bought you alcohol. When you were in school, you were barely present, you were physically there, but mentally you were somewhere else. Your grades dropped drastically, but you could care less. The pain and emptiness was just too much for you to bear, so you drowned them in alcohol, drugs and sleepless nights you sometimes shared with strangers who offered you those things you couldnt get due to being underage in exchange of funny business with them. You didnt care anymore so you did it. Even tho you hated it. But thats what you deserved, you thought. You deserved to hate yourself.

You did everything you could to stop the empty feeling in your chest. The feeling of missing your friends. The guilt of being alive when they are not. The guilt of not being able to do anything about it. The guilt to be able to breathe and live your life when they cant. You knew they were alive, you KNEW it. You feel it. You still feel them. Even after 3 months since they went missing. You felt it in your heart and gut, that they are alive.

As you left the bed of one of the guys from college you met just 3 hours ago and dont even remember his name, the one who bought you alcohol and drugs. You grabbed Lotties hoodie that you wear basically on daily basis now from the ground and put your jeans back on yourself and you left his room.

!! (tw:mention of selfharm and overdose) !!

When you got home, you felt all those feelings again. The alcohol and drugs are not enough anymore. They last just for a few hours now. They last few hours before you start seeing them again, or randomly hearing them calling you, telling you they are alive.

The things that helped you escape for the last 3 months are not enough anymore.

As you sit on your bed, looking into nothing, completely wasted, tired, helpless, lost and just done with pretending everything is okay. You looked to your left, knowing the razor is there, you put it under your book to hide it from your parents.

You standed up, took the book into your hand, looking at the shiny razor that the moon was shining at, making it more pleasant and beautiful than any other days.

You gently grabbed it in between your fingers and putting the book into its previous position.

Sitting back into your bed, playing with the razor in your hands, thinking whether you should do it or no.

You knew it would be an escape. You could be with your friends again if you just did it.

You wanted to do it so badly. You wanted the pain to stop forever, you wanted to be free from all of it, and not just for a few hours.

But you couldnt, the feeling in your gut telling you that they are still alive is still there.

With a sigh and one swift move, lotties hoodie is off your body, making you sit on your bed just in your bra and jeans.

You looked at your body, seeing all those old and new scars and cuts you made over the last 2 months. You were punishing yourself.

Only if you werent sick you could have been with them. Either dead, but with them or whenever the hell are they now. With tears in your eyes you cut yourself again and again and again, until your brain was satisfied with it, like you did in the past few weeks. Making a slight relieve from the mental pain with a physical one.

This wasnt the moment that lead you to psych ward where you were for over a year.

No.

It was your overdose that happened few weeks after this.

You overdosed accidentally at a party few weeks later and you were so close to the end of the misery, but (un)lucky to you, someone called an ambulance on the party you sneaked with the same guy from college.

You woke up the next day in hospital, where your parents were with you. Your mother crying as she held your hand waiting for you to wake up snd your father with stoic face snd guilt snd hurt flashing in his eyes.

Unknown to you, your parents were informed about your cuts and scars all over your body that you were hiding. And even all the drugs and other things in your system.

(end of mentioned selfharm and overdose)

That day, your father decided you are going into a psych ward. They both saw how their child is destroying herself in front of their eyes. They both knew you were hurting, still believing your friends are alive. You told them few times you randomly saw them, talked to them or even felt them. But they werent here.

It was just your brain playing tricks.

(end of flashback)

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

And thats where you are now, 19 months after the plane crashed. In a psych ward, because your life ended the day your friends were proclaimed dead.

Dead without you being able to tell them you loved them. Without hugging them last time. Without seeing their faces one more time.

After months of therapy, after multiple shock therapy and other tortuous ways you rather forgot. You started believing they are indeed dead. Its been couple of weeks since you gave up. Since you, for the first time being locked here, told your therapist 'they are dead' in defeated voice as you started believing.

Knowing you will never get a closure of what happened to them. The plane was never found, their bodies were never found. There still was a chance, but then again, its been 19 months..

They are dead.

You accepted it.

You accepted, that they are never coming back. That your friends are never coming back.

That you will never see their faces again.

You will never tell Lottie you liked her more than a best friend should.

You will never listen to your favourite bands new music with Natalie as you always did.

Never tell a new joke to Van.

Never ask Jackie for her opinion about clothes.

Never show your drawings to Shauna.

Never talk about your random thoughts with Misty.

Never talk about your new view of bible with Laura Lee.

Never ask about opinion to Taissa when you needed her to give you a realistic point of view.

And never hear a sarcastic remark from Mari again..

You were officially defeated. You accepted that they are gone and as well your old self.

You accepted all of that few weeks ago in a therapy session, you were forced to say it out loud, write it and say each girls name with "x is dead and never coming back. She died in a plane crash'.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Now you are sitting in a common area, drawing as you listen to the television news. Not paying attention to it at all. You felt dead inside, empty and defeated. You were sketching, feeling a little happy that you were allowed to do that again.

You werent allowed near anything that could cause you harm unless you were under vision of someone, usually your therapist or a guard.

You didnt know what privacy is at this point.

You grew attached to one of the guards in here. Her name is Martha, a 50 year old lady who was sweet to you.

She, even tho she shouldnt, after almost every electro shock therapy you got and was there, went to your room and was with you until you fell asleep, rubbing your back, telling you random stories and sometimes sneaked a lollipop to you.

Life sucked, but Martha was shoving sympathy and giving you comfort you havent felt in months. She knew why you are here. She was there the whole time of your stay in the psych ward.

You didnt talk to anyone.

After your overdose you went kind of nonverbal.

Barely speaking.

You still dont talk that much.

You dont want to talk, you lost your will and has no desire to talk. But with Martha, you sometimes talk.

"Breaking news the girl soccer team Yellowjackets that went missing 19 months ago was found alive. They were found in canadian wilderness in critical condition. Only few of them survived"

The voice of the guy in the news cathed your attention as you eyes shot back into the screen of the television from your sketch book.

He was at the airpot and you saw few of them walking out of the plane. A very small amount of people wearing black hoodies over their heads as security hid them from paparazzi and cameras.

You looked at Martha with wide eyes, shaky hands and Martha looked at you with pure shock and panic from across the room as she started walking to you. She knew you will not take that well.

"d-did you see that t-too or im going crazy again?" you asked above whisper with a shaky voice as you started panicking inside, tears filling your eyes as you started breaking the pencil in your grip as you looked at Marthas face with tears.

You were getting better, you havent had a hallucinations in months. You havent seen their faces for months. You thought you were getting better..

Martha pulled you into a hug and started rubbing your back, holding you tightly, trying to calm you down, not wanting you to go into a psychosis again or getting a breakdown or hurting yourself again (you were put on a suicide watch couple of time during the few months there, thats why you werent allowed to be near anything sharp).

"yes i did, you are not crazy sweetheart. You were right the whole time" she held you close to her chest as she whispered with panic and disbelief in her face that you couldnt see as other guards ran to you both.

Same expression on their faces.

But they knew the protocol, they knew that they had to sedate you in order to calm you down.

The whole personal knew about you. After all, you were the youngest patient in here. They knew why you were here and they all saw you how defeated you were for weeks now.

How broken you become.

You were still alive but dead inside. You were a walking corpse for weeks after you admitted that your friends are dead. You became the last problematic patient here. You did ehat you were told, you didnt argue, you didnt fight, and you took your medication without any tricks (for a few months there you didnt take it, you kept it hidden in your mouth or throw it up afterwards). They were seeing your hope/life leave your body completely.

Which made some of them heart break. When you first got there, you were snappy. You used to talk in your room to yourself, saying the girls name, pretending like they are here (you saw them, due to hallucination), you were fighting against the guards when they had to take you to electro shock therapy. You were fighting with therapist and telling everyone that they are alive for months. So seeing you so defeated and so broken made some of them feel bad. They knew the things they had to do, they knew that some of the treatment wasnt even legal, but they HAD to go thru the protocol. After all, this was the most prestigious psych ward near Wiskayok.

The guards look at Martha and she looked at them as she held you closer 'im so sorry sweetie, you know we need to' all you could do is just to nod, you were done fighting back. After all they all just did their job and you needed to feel calm, knowing you would crash out if you didnt get that sedatives, so you cling to Martha and closing your eyes.

Wanting this feeling to go away.

They were dead. They were dead and you didnt hallucinate them for months, so why now?

One of the guards put the syringe with sedatives into your shoulder whispering a silent sorry.

You woke up in your bed, chained down. With a sigh as you knew why. Martha and you talked a lot. Well, technically she talked and you listened and sometimes answered or asked a question. She told you, that if theres a huge trigger for a patient and it gets triggered, theres a protocol they need to follow. They sedate the patient and meanwhile they are out, they chain them into their bed, so they wouldnt hurt themselves or others.

"oh my sweet girl" Marthas sweet voice breaks your thoughts as you look at her with this hollow look you keep giving everyone for weeks. Martha sits next to your bed as she holds your cheek, rubbing it gently as her eyes are filled with tears.

"you were right the whole time" she smiles at you "you were never crazy, my poor little girl" a single tear falls down her cheek.

You hated seeing her like this, so with a horsed voice you answered her which made her heart swell even more.

"no i was not, they were dead. They are dead. They died when the plane crashed"

you said with empty eyes.

"but they found them, they are ali-" Martha couldnt finish the sentence because you cut her off.

"No Martha, they are dead. They dont exist anymore. They died 19 moths ago"

Martha just nodded before she was called somewhere else. Leaving you all alone, chained to your bed.

You were telling the truth tho. They died. They are dead. Those girls are not the same ones you once knew. They are different people. Even if they survived, they are dead. Same as you. Even tho, you are breathing. You died the day when they were proclaimed dead 18 months ago a month after they dissapiered.

All you could feel was nothing. After all those electro shocks you went thru, all those horrible treatments, and all those medicaments you started taking, you lost all your emotions. All you could feel is emptiness, a hollow hole inside your chest. You mourned them and gave them your goodbye weeks ago, or even months ago now. You dont know how long its been.

You dont even feel happy that you were right about them being alive the whole time. You dont feel anything really. You just laid in the bed like a lifeless body, staring into nothing. With this empty feeling in your chest you have had for months now.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Couple weeks later, you were sketching in your sketchbook again with Martha by your side as you both sat at a table, your legs criss crossed, wearing the ugly psych ward white clothes you have on yourself for more than a year now. You havent spoke a word for weeks now. Last time you did speak, was like 2 days after the news in television, asking Martha to tell you who were the survivors.

When she told you it was Lottie, Nat, Taissa, Van, Misty, Travis and Shauna all you did was just nod.

You are sketching in your book with this empty look in your face you have had for months. Martha sitting by your side watching you.

You enjoy her company a lot, she provides you comfort in some way. Sometimes you wonder if your paths would cross if it wasnt for you being a patient in a psych ward she works for. But who knows.

That was before Martha looked in front of her, where standed Lottie in her outside clothes with two guards by her side.

Marthas eyes widen and looked at you in panic.

Lottie sat next to you on a chair. Her heart breaking at the sigh of you, still not noticing her presence yet. You looked empty inside.

Unknown to you, after few weeks after they got rescued, each one of them asked about you after they got more comfortable to get back into society. They wondered why you havent reached out to them. Why you havent showed up. It was so unlike you and it made them wonder. After they all were done with doctors and therapy sessions. Their parents told them what happened to you (Lottie told Nat). They told them how you had a crash out, overdosed on drugs and got put into a psych ward where you have been staying for over a year.

Lottie asked her father for more details, demanding to know where you are. All of them wanted to know your current situation.

So when Lottie found from her father and read your file, she told everyone. They all couldnt believe that their friend, who was so full of life, their "sunshine" their "lucky charm" and someone who brought so much comfort and love, ended up like this. They all read the file. Their heart breaking at the details of it.

They all wanted to visit you, but they didnt want to make your situation worse. They all wanted to hug you, they all wanted to tell you how much they missed you, how they thought of you during the 19 months out there and how much it meant to them, that you didnt give up on them being alive. They just wanted to give you the love you always gave them. But they knew, they cant do that, yet.

So thats why Lottie is now sitting next to you, staring at you with this face you grew so familiar with in here. A look of guilt, pity and sadness.

Martha still didnt say anything, she was just staring at you and Lottie. The guards were near and ready to jump if it was needed.

"hey.." said Lottie quietly, her heart breaking at the sigh of you. You looked so broken, you looked like a child. So innocent snd so broken. Your eyes were empty, your face emotionless as you drew into your sketchbook.

"hey" you said quietly without looking at her as you continued to draw.

"whatchu drawing" Lottie asked gently as she looked at the drawing. She wanted to say so much, she wanted to hug you so badly, but she was informed by the psych crew to not do that.

Without a word you pulled the sketchbook to her, showing her the drawing as you finally looked at her.

And Lotties heart broke even more. Your beautiful eyes that once held so much life and love, were now empty, filled with pain and sadness. The dark circles under your eyes and visible weight loss since the last time she saw you broke her heart and it took everything in her not to pull you into a thigh hug.

"its beautiful" Lottie said with shaking voice as she tried not to cry as she looked at the drawing and then at you again.

Martha put a hand on your shoulder

"Sweetheart, its time for your pills" she said gently, rubbing her hand on your shoulder.

You looked at her "okay" you answered her quietly, as your grabbed your sketchbook and standed up, looking at Lottie with this empty eyes of yours. You thought for a moment before you ripped the page and gave it to her.

"You liked it maam, keep it" you said before you started walking away to where you get the pills. Leaving Lottie flabbergasted, confused and heartbroken with Martha and the one of the guards leaving right behind you, just in case. And the other one staying to escort Lottie back.

Lottie looked at the drawing and heart swelling, until Martha broke the silence. Putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Im so sorry sweetie, she does not recognise you. You dont look like the way she remembers you. She thinks you are a stranger" Martha says with a gentle voice and Lottie has to keep everything in her to not cry.

"how?" Lottie asks above a whisper as she looks at the drawing thats in her hands.

"its probably all the electro shocks she went thru sweetie, it fucked her brain and memory. She does not even remember her favourite color" Martha says sadly with a gentle tone as she rubs her thumb over her shoulder. Trying to comfort Lottie as much as she can.

After Lottie leaves the psych ward, the rest is waiting outside for Lottie. When they see Lotties state, they knew it went badly.

"how is she?" asked Misty hopefully even tho she knew its probably a stupid thing to ask, she read your file, they all did.

Lottie without a word runs and hugs Nat tightly and cries into her shoulder "she does not remember me, she didnt recognised me at all. She called me maam" Lottie sobs into Nats shoulder.

Everyone gets quiet at that, letting the words set in.

"w-what do you mean?" Taissa asks with a tone that cant be even identified.

"T-they said its the electroshocks, that they fucked her brain and memory. She doesnt even know her favourite color" Lottie wipes her tears and hands them the drawing.

They all feel sad as they sees it.

Its a drawing, a detailed one. Its a memory of you all, well, technically a picture you took with your camera of the memory. It was after one of the games they won. Their faces were blurred out, but they all could tell which one was who, the faces might be smuggled, but they knew it was them (p4). It was identical to that photo.

"oh god.." Van puts a hand over her mouth, looking up to the sky as she tries not to cry.

Nat eyes fills with tears and her mouth slightly open. Shauna is looking at the picture with every emotion going thru her head and Taissa and Misty are loss of words.

(to be continued...)

the drawing:

(just try and pretend its good okay?😭 i tried my best for it to look like a drawing)

tagging as i promised when i will post it, so you dont miss it @priyajoyy @zhivaxo 🫶🏻

(if you like the story and will not want to miss the next one let me know ill do a tag list:] )

Please remember this is a fiction and its just pure imagination of my sick mind (so some things will not be 100% correct to the original yllwjks story and as well some of the things i will write in this story, aka how psych ward works, i have never been in one as a patient, however i did visit one, so its not 100% accurate, so keep it in mind🫶🏻)

i just hope you enjoyed my sad ass writting (it will get worse)

[st4rwritez]

how about a nika fic with some angst. like nika being with her bf and coming to reader everytime they “break up” with smut. and then reader gets fed up and you can decide if it’s a happy ending or not 🤷‍♀️

Omg i have seen something like this before and loved it so i was waiting for a request like this! Small blurb cuz I’m studying for finals!

Tysm for the request i really appreciate it❤️❤️

(The fact her and nahiem have been reported to be on and off makes this sm more realistic 🌚)

All of you

Nika Mühl x reader

Summary: the request above!! But happy ending cuz i don’t feel like being sad today

Warnings: smut slightly described

౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .

You and nika had been “friends” for years going through everything together, and you couldn’t lie many times there was a small chance of you both being together, but then came her boyfriend.

He seemed to be like a bother to nika, so when he started going on and off with nika thats when she started coming to you.

At first it was just you comforting nika about it, letting her stay over and spending time with her. But than it became more.

“Jesus y/n he would never treat me like this” she said as your fingers rubbed circles around her clit.

It was like you were a one night stand to her every night. It never went any where it was for her own pleasure.

So when you got a text from her asking to come over after there 12th breakup you decided you would finally say something to her.

You heard a light knock on a door, as you got up to open the door you took a deep breath.

Opening the door nika was a mess tear stains down her face and eyes red.

Her state softened you pulling her in for a hug as she sobbed. “He broke up with me for real this time y/n” she choked out.

“I know i know” you said stroking her soft brown hair.

You felt nikas hand snake onto your thigh and thats when you stepped away.

“Stop nika” you said as she stood there

“What?” She said looking at you like you were crazy.

“I cant anymore. Every-time you break up with your boyfriend you come to me and treat me like a fucking one night stand” you paused “i cant do it anymore.”

She just stood there fidgeting with her fingers.

You let a tear slip from your eye and thats when she started to approach you.

She put her hand up to touch your face but you put her hand down softly.

“Just…i just want you to be real with me. I don’t want to be your fuck buddy anymore.” You said

“I want to actually be your girlfriend nika.”

“And i want to be yours..i swear y/n i just cant” she said thinking about her words

“No you can you just choose to go back to that asshole every-time.” You said tears now drowning your face.

She went up to you and hugged you her head placed on top of yours.

You didn’t expect it but at this point you didn’t care.

“Im so sorry.” Nika said rubbing your back softly.

“Im so so sorry”

You stood there with her for a few moments embracing her both crying with each-other. It brang you both peace in a way.

“Y/N i want to be with you i do, i will call it off totally with nahiem. I wont go back to him okay.” She said laying her head on yours.

“Really?” You said softly.

“Yes i feel like its time i did that” she said pulling back from you ending the hug.

“So… Y/N will you be my girlfriend?” She said smiling at you.

“Yes of course nika” you said

She picked you up by your legs kissing you before letting you go.

“I want to treat you right this time i promise i want all of you y/n” she said as you both embraced.

[wallcreeper-and-oro]

connection.find(omni_net) connection established omni.id.vericode(Y/N) (Y) {vericode entered} connection verified - lancer 910372

⋆𖦹 o-oh! nice to meet you too Khione!

uuh um not exactly sure, i'll go ask Dido though she knows about this kind of stuff!

..Oh. Uh no description needed thanks. She clarified.. uh well i hope only people who really deserve it.

Oh oh yes um do share, if you'd like to. Oh that sounds nice! Or not nice.. but uh good at the end? Um ya well, I'm glad for the two of you, you seem like you both compliment each other quite well.

Oh sorry! I assumed cause "my heart" and "darling" but my bad! I'm not always the best at reading people! so I've been told! Oh well i hope that he's okay!! Uh maybe I'll ask about that, seems more like Thebe's kinda thing though..

Um glad to hear, thanks for answering.. and thank you! I'm wishing you two luck too! In .. your work. Uh ya that'd be interesting, who knows where the universe will take us!

This is Ouroboros signing off!

connection.find(omni_net) connection established omni.id.vericode(Y/N) (Y) {vericode entered} connection verified - lancer 910372

⋆𖦹 Hi there,

Um you don't know me but Liza said i should reach out cause I've been looking through your blog and think you're really cool! hope it isn't a bother!

I've met your partner though! Zero! he seems very nice! and you do too!! you two seem very cool!! and a really lovely relationship!!

right yes!! i wanted to ask how you two met? if you're comfortable sharing? don't want to pry!

okay that's all!! hope this isn't a bother!!

This is Ouroboros signing off! (@wallcreeper-and-oro)

◊ Oh my. Well, isn't this sweet? It's a pleasure to make your aquaintence, darling; it's rather an experience to hear that our rambling discourse on the omninet has brought some joy. I will admit, it's rather a... new occurance. He and I were well known amongst our peers during CORSAIR's mercenary days for being... hm. Cold suffices as a descriptor, I suppose.

◊ Nice is certainly an interesting way to depict either one of us. You too are mercenaries, no? You are... aware of what it means, to specialise in wetwork? If you are not, I could describe it. Our chosen line of work does speak volumes regarding our characters, I have found.

◊ ah but, enough about your apparent impressions of us. How did we meet? That is a story I am willing enough to share, I suppose. I must say to head off further questions, that by and large I prefer not to speak of who I have been; however, your particular question lays within the time of my life I see no reason to veil.

◊ He and I were assigned to our squadron together, before we were blooded as mercenaries. The rest of what would eventually become Misericorde found us... offputting. They flaked away slowly but surely, driven away by either one of us with time. However, we two alone found each other acceptable company. We understood one another, in ways we were not accustomed to being understood. It formed a foundation sturdy and lasting, as I would hope is evident from our lasting partnership-

◊ ah, I do feel I should clarify lest you get the wrong impression of my dear Zero. While we are life partners of a sort, we are not romantically entangled. He can sleep with whomever he so chooses- and he often does. It only becomes my concern if he so chooses someone liable to make an attempt on his life in the aftermath, which- as I'm sure he would be happy to regale you about, this is not an uncommon thing. Alas, I do rather like him alive. He keeps things awfully interesting, no?

◊ ...I suppose that was a pleasent enough question to answer. I do wish you all luck with your mercenary endeavors in the coming times; as my dearest said, perhaps we will find ourselves hired by the same contractor one of these days. Who can say.

[ Khione ]

[spideysbruh]

rom com

@celebnews just tweeted- 'Best Part' starring Y/n L/n and Timothée Chalamet has begun filming! A romcom described as being in the same vein as 'When Harry Met Sally'. It apparently spans across a decade, following the pair as their relationship evolves.

@lauriesvest replied- BRO IVE BEEN WAITINGGGG

@wallowsyn replied- I am about to get so annoying...

@paulsmauddib replied- bro the premise sounds so cute 🥺 love romcoms

@y/n just tweeted- always wanted to be in a romcom!!! can't wait 🩷

@tchalamet replied- COUPLE ROMCOM LOVE LOVE ROMCOM

@y/n replied to @tchalamet- haha hell yeah man exactly

@upatnightyn replied to @yn- mind you they JUST met 💀😭😭

@thesedaysyn replied- she shares a lot on her instagram i can't waittttt to see their friendship 🥺😭

y/n just posted a story!

caption- hanging out 🫶

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😳😳

@ynstan just tweeted- WE'RE GONNA GET A KISS CAM SCENE !?!?!?!?!?!

@oceaneyesyn replied- OHHH IM SO FUCKING SEATEDDDDD

@romsyn replied- BRO WE'RE GETTING THE HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS OF OUR DECADE LETS

@kylesgoodgf replied- I wonder if itll happen on like their first date or later on 🤔 or is it even a date omg I NEED TO WATCH IT ALREADY

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish, and 3,177,848 others

y/n 🍂

view all 221,188 comments

sabxyn bro she's literally out of this world gorgeous omfg

artsyyn WHY IS SHE CRYING 🥺😭

readyn POST BTS PICS W YOU AND TIMOTHEEEE PLEASEEEE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEE

tchalamet that's me !

y/n liked

fifteenminsyn omg he looks so happy in that picture I bet it's cause of yn 😏

liked by y/n, tchalamet and 5,276,388 others

bestpartmovie First look at Best Part

view all 321,377 comments

lookingatyn FUUUUCK THE MONOLOGUE. one thing about timmy is that he's gonna have the most romantic monologue of all time !!!!

popyn promo tour soon !?!?! CANT WAIT

laurieslaurence fuck this might end up being my all time fave of timmys...

liked by y/n, sza and 7,288,276 others

tchalamet some vibes. Best Part coming soon!!!!!!!!

view all 132,277 comments

chiyn omg so his character falls first AND falls harder i love it. i love when men yearn 😩😩

featheryn that last pic is gonna be their first kiss, watch!

y/n still cold from filming that last scene smh

tchalamet liked

tchalamet me too, maybe we should kiss to warm up?

y/n liked

soamericanyn NO WAY 💀💀

paulmauddibstan nah cause he's never flirted this OUTWARDLY w a co-star before 😭😭 bro is down bad

spideyyn bro took the movie too serious😩 me too though, y/n is a baddie !!

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh, rachelzegler and 5,288,928 others

y/n probably my favorite filming experience. best part!!!!!

view all 98,299 comments

livxyn I NEED INTERVIEWS NOWWW BTS ETC ETC

tchalamet mine too

peterparkyn yk you can just text her, right? 😭

ayoedebiri im simply too seated

@tchalupdates just tweeted- In an interview for his upcoming movie, Timothée described Y/n as "An elegant, captivating presence." and spoke about how they became very quick friends, "It's impossible to not like her, she's such a beautiful person, her optimism flows from her effortlessly. She's a very bubbly person, just always radiating positivity and kindness, which is always something that everyone needs."

@snoozeyn replied- mind you they asked him what their first scene together was.. 😭😭💀💀 down bad

@marvelyn replied- if they don't get married I'll kms

@lauriesvest replied to @marvelyn- bro their relationship isn't even confirmed yet 😭 (but I agree)

@bestpartyn replied- wow he rly fell in love during this, so when we see them fall in love in the movie thats REAL 🗣🗣 CALL ME DELUSIONAL IDC IDC

@ynupdates just tweeted- Y/n recently stated in an interview for 'Best Part' that Timothée is the best actor she's worked with, "Everything he does comes off of him so naturally. I admire his tenacity and his sunny disposition, how he's always so helpful- I can go on and on! But he's just the best. we had great camaraderie from day one and it's only enhanced since then."

@musicalyn replied- come right on me- I MEAN-

@smalltalkyn replied- "I can go on and on" oh we know girl 😭

@wonkasdune replied- fuuuck they're so cute 😭

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- captivating

liked by y/n, tchalamet and 7,288,276 others

bestpartmovie Some bts of our leads. Out today!

view all 231,287 others

obsessedyn ALREADY WATCHED IT, IT WAS AMAZING

bearyn there's a wedding ?!?!?!

romcomyn that first pic, they're so cute 🥺

paulsarrakis love how they're almost always constantly touching 🥺

dunepaul according to the bts video, the third pic was their first scene together 🥺 and between takes they would just talk and learn about eachother 😭😭😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

tasteyn they seem to really like each other 🥺

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish and 7,178,992 others

y/n rollout pics

comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet 💀💀💀

rachelzegler okay love that

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😩😩😩

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 8,827,377 others

tchalamet im gonna love her a long long time

view all 211,288 comments

tsgf FUCK

paultims wtf he cheated on me...

alltoyn OMGGGG

fuxkyn bro WHY she's literally so ugly

laurieslaurence bro you're delusional 😭

y/n my beautiful boy

ynscat she deserves this so much 🥺😭😭 her previous bfs have been.... horrible

y/n just posted a story!

caption- boyfriend reveal (real)

[brights-place]

Can

Can u maybe do Sonic exe x reader please? 🥺

[Creepypastas] Sonic EXE x Reader Warnings: Gore, Cursing

A/N: Never in my life have I thought that someone would request sonic exe... BUT HEY WHATEVER YOU LIKE LETS GO the gender is not specified

Summary: Just headcannons of Sonic EXE the creepypasta which I never have thought I would do with an x reader character thats abit creepy

- There was many differences between you two in body and personalities mostly with him being a mass murderer plus the fact he's an anthropomorphic video game hedgehog and you're well a a human - He's a cursed item and a short one too - Short king who cares for his partner and would kill for her or kill her when he gets bored lucky enough he hasn't gotten bored of you he enjoys playing and toying with you - Sonic EXE can say some disturbing ass shit that will frighten or startle you or will say the most gruesome things about his recent victims out of nowhere but if he feels like he’s gone too far he will apologize to you but don’t expect him to do that for anyone else - When he first did that was when you were making him some chili dogs and he stared at the chili - "You know that reminds me of when I gutted this weird ass girl who were trying to get to me but i gutted her because she would always fail the levels ugh I should taken out her eyes too would of been fun to-" and here cues your horrified face staring at him - When he's running he enjoys you boosting his ego - He’s never encountered a human that had the nerve to challenge him actually he has but they all were too cocky but you? being aware of your flaws and using it to your advantage made him entertained - This hedgehog cannot die so every time you get so angered in a whole another level he watches as you lash out and for some reason he enjoys every time where you lash out on him - he loves suggesting for you to snap his neck or kill him a horrifying way that he loves to describe as you always say you'd never kill him - He comes back bloodied and would have you wipe away the blood dripping down his red irises and voidless eyes - you both had made a schedule for when he can come to the real world so you both can hangout and pamper each other or when he does his little sprees to kill victims - When he's in his little game hes always watching, making sure your okay you're happy, if there’s any sign you’re unhappy with a person they make you uncomfy they are dealt with personally - His god complex is high so is his ego you boost it for him a lot - Enjoys bringing back little items from his world to you though he enjoyed the face you made when he gave you a fluffy tail keychain that was quite big the yellow fur and white was beautiful - But when you noticed the dripping at the end where the keychain clip was pierced you pause staring at the tails cute fox videogame character missing one of his tails.. - He enjoyed pampering you he calls himself god he calls you his spouse - kisses are kind of hard to do due to his sharp teeth but hey it works for you both - Love language 100% would be gift giving and words of affirmation or 50/50 he's hard to understand - He does pull strings behind the scenes to keep you safe and make sure you are treated like the royalty you are - Even if he gets his hands dirty I mean he already has them bloodied with the past so whats wrong with another person who messed with you to be his next victim

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

[grapejuicestyless]

I Am So Full Of Love

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summery: JJ Maybank never liked Kiara’s girlfriend, or so it seemed, she never expected him to care so much once she was gone, and he never expected her to miss him the same.(Mentions of coming to terms with sexuality and confusion and guilt.)

“I couldn’t do that to her.” Kiara explained as delicately as she could without being consumed by her own guilt.

But how can you gently explain to anyone how you’ve just lost the love of your life because you were too immature to be what she needed.

Y/n was a kind soul, deeply understanding and empathetic to everyone, no matter the background. While to others, the cut and figure eight were a clear divide between societies on the island, the rich, and the poor, the good and the great, she never once looked at the brand on her friends clothes or shamed someone for the amount of money in their pocket. She was simplicity, she was sweetness.

As good and pure as she was, she was also incredibly naive.

Naive, that was the word anyone would have used to describe her. Because she didn’t see the point of the divide between Kooks and Pogues, it also meant that Y/n fell for cruel peoples even crueler actions, and never once complained about the injustices that she faced.

Y/n never complained, and she took what she was given with a smile, even if what she was given was really nothing at all.

“I loved her, how could I not? She was everything I’d ever hoped for when I was younger. I spent every single math class watching the back of her head for years, praying that one day she would look back and just see me. It would be unfair for me to keep her away from a life she deserves simply because I love her.”

Kiara was right in the end, and everyone knew she was. She couldn’t offer anything to Y/n, and while her girlfriend readily gave, and gave, and gave, there was only so much to give before there was nothing left. Kiara recognized the signs of the burn out between them long ago, how Y/n seemed to scramble to find something more precious to give to her, how she devoted each part of herself to Kiara so willingly despite the risks, and Kiara watched as she ran out of love to spare, and her goals overtook her relationship. Her journey became more important than her heart, and she knew it would be unkind to string along someone whose heart was ten times too big for her chest.

“How did she take it?” Sarah asked quietly, leaning closer to the burning fire that everyone sat around. Kiara pulled her feet beneath her thighs, shifting in the old camping chair.

“She didn’t really say anything, actually. I mean, I wasn’t expecting a screaming match or crocodile tears, but, I thought she might have something to say to me. I did love her, I do love her, I did this for her. I at least deserved to hear some kind of goodbye.”

Kiara recalled her reluctant goodbye. One she never dreamed of saying. She used to swear on every star that if it were to end, it would be on her lovers terms. She never imagined she would be the one to cause her dearest Y/n to wander the county with a broken hearted gaze and an empty chest.

But thats the way life goes, and unfortunately for the couple, they were victims to unforeseen circumstances.

Kiara recalled how happy Y/n looked as she knocked on her front door, flowers in her hands, freshly picked on her way over simply because that’s who Y/n was, a girl who loved to give things to people just because she appreciated them. She was glowing, absolutely bursting with a vibrancy Kiara would always miss, but one that was no longer hers. Her knuckles that were stained green and the nails brushed with pollen. She was the sweetest spring after a nasty winter.

She remembered how Y/n wasn’t even the slightest bit skeptical or concerned when Kiara frowned and asked to speak to her. How Y/n sat and rubbed her back when she started to cry, her head laid in Y/n’s lap. In her lap. She cried and choked out apologies before killing her off, pulling away finally to end it and crush her girlfriend’s heart.

Her back was left cold as Y/n pulled away from her like she was poison, her touch distant and cold, and her eyes holding a thousand questions she would never ask.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. I love you, I’m sorry.” She swore, and the girl simply looked like she was still puzzling the pieces together.

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” She had assured Kiara, and in a sudden burst of emotion, wrapped her arms around her in a soul crushing hug. The sound of her lungs deflating and her heart cracking would haunt Kiara in her sleep for years, she knew it as soon as she let Y/n love her goodbye.

That was all that was shared between the pair before Y/n slipped away, the flowers still clasped tightly in her palms, the thorns stabbing into her skin at how tightly she began to grip them.

“At least someone got what they wanted though, right?” Kiara laughed bitterly and looked to JJ who sat across from her, seemingly processing the fact that this meant the bubbly girl wouldn’t be coming around anymore.

“Sorry?” He looked up from where his arms rested on his knees.

“Y/n won’t be coming around anymore. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Kiara laughed sadly, as if trying to find humor in her loss. Yet, even if Kiara seemed bitter, not even JJ could find any tears in her sad eyes.

“Why would I want that?” He didn’t find it amusing.

“You hated her, didn’t you?” Kiara’s smile faded slightly, as if part of her was hopeful that her friend would find some mean thing to say to make a poor situation better. As if he could find a flaw in her, Kiara could let her go easier.

JJ sat back and thought deeply, and then, when the idea was constructed and confirmed, he bit his tongue.

Sure, he had never been kind to Y/n, but it was never out of pure hatred. Well, maybe in a way it was, but not for the reasons everyone believed he had.

Kiara had been looking at the back of her head in math for years, tossing wads of paper at her to get her attention and writing thoughtful notes to her for her to receive before she even sat down. She slipped her words of affection in her locker, and offered her rides after school just to be closer to her.

Kiara chased what she wanted and got it, she had it. But what she failed to notice was how JJ’s eyes were glued to the same girls head from another side.

JJ had been watching her since they were kids. It wasn’t just because she was pretty, or kind, but because even in the darkest of times, she was always looking at the brightness of the future.

He’d been watching patiently from beside her in math class, always avoiding her watchful eyes and instead playing it off like he was looking out the window. Some days, when she was late to class, he would subtly scoot his desk closer to hers, and against his better judgment, he would silently hope Kiara wouldn’t come to class so he could partner with her.

But Kiara had her first, all because he had been too scared to get too close. Because in his mind, she was too good to be true, and he would rather live his life believing that than try and find out if he was wrong.

That’s why he hated her. Not because she was annoying, or naive, or too happy. But because every time he saw her, she reminded him of how much of a coward he was.

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Days passed, and dust sat in silence while pollen gathered on rusted window sills. A mark from her jean shorts stained JJ’s window. The heart stitched into the back pocket rubbed against the worn down wood. From all the times she’d tried to mend something that was never broken. Now, he sat and wondered quietly if he had let her in and stopped searching for answers he wasn’t meant to find, if she would ever stop by again to say hi.

He missed her. He figured everyone did, but despite Kiara’s broken heart, he still selfishly believed he missed her the most.

At first he didn’t get it, the hollow feeling in his chest, the stuttering heartbeats and the shallow breathing. How he constantly found himself tossing and turning only to wake up in a cold sweat at the loss of her image in his dreams, how her nose was never quite right, how he forgot all the parts of her he swore he’d never forget, how everything was fucked over nothing at all. He never had her, she wasn’t his so it made no sense to him.

It got so bad, he took himself to the library. The fucking library. And he searched for answers he was desperate to find. The computers were boxy and dusty, but worked faster and didn’t store memory like the one at John B’s house. He looked over his shoulders, partially embarrassed by how driven he was by the loss of a girl he had just told everyone he hated. But JJ Maybank never knew when to stop, so he dug and dug and dug until there was nothing but molten lava that burnt his hands. And even then, he never learned to stop.

Grief.

The word that popped up onto his computer screen.

Deep sorrow; the experience of coping with loss.

Funny enough, he’d recognized it immediately. He didn’t need the definition. He’d known it all his life, and he’d heard it on her tongue. How she grieved their friendship that never was. He recalls the first of her many visits he took for granted.

He wishes he had reached out, held her hand, even if it wasn’t his to hold. He wanted to feel the softness of her skin against the roughness of his palms and feel the sickness lessen in his skin where it rotted.

He recalled her like the softest thing that ever was, a gentle reminder that when winter passed, spring has to come, that the bad is only temporary. And still he had grit his teeth and bit her neck like a scared dog whenever what he lost got to comfortable.

“I’m not…I’m not into girls.” She spoke softly, her knees tucked beneath her thighs, her jean shorts pressed against the old windowsill. Her voice was soft, scared, tender. The first of many confessions in an old bedroom that belonged to neither of them. The first of many attempts for her kindness to break through his resentment and dreams of a clandestine arrangement.

“That’s bullshit.” JJ snorted bitterly, but the sadness in her eyes made his sharp tongue bleed with how hard he bit down on it. His eyes softened, her node was red. She seemed torn.

“Or, maybe I don’t know. All I’ve ever wanted was a man. That’s all I’ve ever known…but then she kisses me, really kisses me and she touches me like she doesn’t just want what’s between my legs and I think maybe she’s all I’ve ever wanted.” She smiles, her vision unfocused and stuck to the carvings JJ engraved with the edge of his blade.

He wants to tell her he could touch her like that, because when he imagines their arrangement that be desires so bad, he doesn’t list after her like the others. He has no desire to place his hands down her thighs, but rather to lay his head between her breasts and listen to the gentle beat of her heart, to let his hair tickle her chin as they fall asleep entangled in their warm little affection.

But he doesn’t, because she’s scared, and Kiara’s the first to ever change her perspective. To make her wonder if theres more to her heart than just boys, and all he wants is to so badly brush her cheek and kiss away her phantom tears.

“You don’t have to know.” He surprises himself with the gentleness of his voice. Despite his jealousy, his dark disease that rots away under his skin, he masks his anger with a deeper sadness that reflects as numbness across his angry face.

Her eyes flicker up to meet his, and a smile spreads across her face. A smile he so dearly adores.

“What if I don’t ever know?” She asks like he would know, and he doesn’t. Not because he can’t wonder, but because all he’s ever known is her.

“You will.” He promises. His fingers twitch. He almost touches her. Almost. But fear stops him, and instead he lets his stomach twist up in a disgustingly deep grief, a feeling he was so familiar with when it came to losing her he forgot what it felt like because it was all he’d come to know.

“Will you look at me any differently?” She asks timidly. She reaches out to brush the blonde curl out of his face. Her skin is warm, and she rests her palm on his shoulder before sliding it down to interlock their fingers.

She’s like a deer. A shy, but beautiful little thing. Soft and sweet, but destructive when you hit it. He wants to touch her back, but he knows the destruction he would cause. He wants to tease her, but the tears in her eyes scare him, and instead he is forced to share the honesty that he wishes he never spoke.

“How could I ever?”

He thinks of her always, and his fingers twitch, yearning to close the distance between them. He wonders if he she wonders about his sickness too.

She does. Of course she does. She see’s him in everything she does. The waves at the beach, she swears he’s there beneath the barrel of the water, his blonde locks poking out as he crashes down towards the shore. The softness of his usually rough voice. The bitterness in his comments, how he teased her and yelled and tossed his arms around like he could ever scare her.

She looks at him in passing. Wishes math class was still a constant so she could keep scooting her chair closer to his. She wanted him so badly, yearned for his affection, even if it was in private, yet publicly Kiara has swept her away. So she kept her touch fleeting and her eyes wandering.

Everyday she prayed the sickness would be sucked out of her, the way her bones seemed to ache whenever he was away. How could she love someone so mean to her? Yet, she always had, and in their stolen math class glances, secretly she wishes he had asked her first, and instead of the fading scent of Kiara’s sweet perfume she’d grown fond of, it could be the clean scent of his deodorant smeared across her sheets as their limbs became a tender entanglement of sweat and laughter on a hot summer day.

She walks past the docks by the chateau, where the old fishing boat bobbed in the water on calm days like today, and fishing rods lean against rotting wood to dry. Water drips rhythmically, and her eyes catch the building puddle beneath a rusted bucket that rings with every droplet.

Her body hits something hard, a softness cushioning the collision and a soft grunt sounding in the air. She stumbles back, yet a pair of large, rough hands grip her hands so securely, she finds her footing easily.

“Still clumsy I see.” He taunts, and when their eyes lock, it’s the same teasing glance she had been missing so desperately.

“JJ.” She breathes like he’s an angel sent from heaven. Like suddenly the air was clearer.

“Surprised you still remember me, sunshine. Thought Kiara had shaken me out of you.” He grins like a dork, and though the mention of an ex-lover that had ripped out her heart should have hurt, especially with how hard and vulnerable she had loved Kiara, it didn’t. The sting was masked by the swelling in her chest that only ever came when he was around.

“You have a face I could never forget.” She smiles, and her wide eyes search the slope of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. Her sweetness that he cherished so deeply catches him off guard, the warmth from her lips a foreign language from how much time had been stolen from them.

He clears his throat in an attempt to pass the lump.

“You miss me so much you had to come stalk me?” He lifts a brow, and for the first time since she can recall, maybe even since Kiara had ripped her heart out and left nothing but numbness in her ribs, she lets out a laugh. A real, honest laugh. She can’t be surprised though, she can’t recall a time JJ hadn’t made her laugh.

“Maybe I was just reminiscing on our math days. Muscle memory to come bring you your homework I guess.” She smiled brightly, and for a moment, JJ let his act slip, and the teasing smirk became a soft grin.

There was a beat of silence, and then, a deep breath that escaped between her pink lips.

“It’s just nice to get out, you know? It’s been a long couple weeks and I just missed the area. It feels weirdly safe even knowing it doesn’t belong to me, but her.”

JJ thought it was an odd thought to have, how in just barely two weeks a person can completely commit to wiping away their sacred moments at the expense of another. How readily she accepted that she could no longer enjoy the same flowers he did because they were Kiara’s first, and in her mind, she would always let Kiara be happier than she was even if it wasn’t her fault.

He hummed, and his hand twitched the same way it used to when her jeans marked his windowsill. He sighed and looked out at the small boat and the fishing rod he had laid out for this afternoon.

JJ felt something pull at his chest, the way Y/n swayed on her feet like she would turn and leave with her tail between her legs the minute he raised his arm and pointed towards the dirt roads. But as much as he played the part, he would never be that guy, and he never could be.

“Why don’t you come with me today.” He suggested, though, it wasn’t really a question, more like he was telling Y/n she was coming with him.

She looked surprised, her thumb picking at her nails on her pinkies and her lip tugged beneath her teeth.

“JJ, if this is a sympathy thing, really I don’t need it I can just go home.” She began waving her arms around like a mad woman, pointing in directions that made no sense even to her in her flustered state.

JJ raised his pointer and pressed it against her pink lips. They were softer than he recalled from all the times he used to cup his palm over her mouth when her giggles became too bubbly and loud, and sometimes even infectious.

“No, I want you to come. So come.” He nodded, looking at her through his brows, his head tilted down as he pretended to roll his eyes. If only he could have felt the girlish excitement she felt at his sincere words.

“Okay, yeah, I’d like that.” She smiled, her voice softer than before.

For once, when his hand twitched he followed it, and his fingers wrapped around hers tightly, engulfing her palm in his hand. He was bigger than her in all ways, except maybe emotionally, and in some weird way, wanted nothing more than to help her despite feeling sorry for himself.

JJ stole glances as he led Y/n down the dock, his lovesick expression hidden by the way the breeze blew his beach blonde girls over his face. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and kiss her until all she knew were his lips, but that wasn’t fair to her, and he knew it was especially not fair to Kiara, who had been quieter with each passing day. So he pushed it down, and prayed it would go away for just a moment of clarity.

The boat rocked steadily on the water. JJ sat in the back behind the wheel while she sat by the front, the wind blowing her hair back like some cheesy romance movie. The sun hit her skin, sinking in against her freckles and speckling the highlights in her hair. She looked perfect, she looked different, like she carried a sadness so complex, for once JJ didn’t know how to dissect it.

He stopped the boat when he got so far out, nobody could hear them, as if for this very moment in time, they were just a distant memory on the shore.

She stared out at the waves with a thoughtful expression, and JJ wanted to know how to stick his fingers between the curves of her brain.

“Whats going on in that head of yours?” He asked softly, standing up to sit down across from her. Like always, she tucked her legs under her, and sat as small as she could despite the vast space around her she had to stretch out.

She stayed quiet for a moment, and then bit her lip. It was weird, JJ thought it was weird because he knew that look, she showed him her full hand of cards and she hadn’t even realized it because JJ knew that tick. He knew her throat was burning and he knew how badly she longed for the feeling of togetherness that had been missing since Kiara let her walk away.

“I’m just…I’m angry.” She confesses softly. “And I’m not sure if I have the right to be.”

Her eyes met JJ’s, and even now as shes beginning to come undone he swears she only gets more beautiful.

“It’s just so confusing sometimes. It took me so long to come to terms with the fact that I like girls the way I like boys and…I had nobody to tell me it was alright that I was scared. Kiara was already so sure of herself, and I couldn’t tell anyone else because nobody would understand. I felt like maybe I was sick or something. Like I was a problem because I should be proud of it, and everyone should know but I was just figuring it out myself and…maybe I wasn’t ready but I just loved her so damn much.” The truth came spilling out like hot lava, her fear, her acceptance and her pride for her sexuality, yet the loneliness of having not a single hand to hold and the all consuming feelings of utter affection for the woman that opened her eyes.

“Afraid?” JJ couldn’t help but ask. A sob ripped through her throat.

“All I’ve ever wanted was what I’ve been told. A nice house, a husband that loves me and children to care for. I want a real career with a fulfilling reward like a doctor or a scientist. But all of a sudden maybe I don’t because maybe my husband’s my wife and the children don’t exist because all I see is myself traveling the world with Kiara leading the way.” She talks nonsense, her eyes closed while the backs of her wrists work to keep the tears from slipping down her cheeks.

“And it terrifies me because at the same time, all I want is this stupid boy to look at me the way I look at him and I wonder if I really love Kiara or if I love the way she loves me. And I’m guilty all the time, and then just as I’m figuring everything out and spending my time picking flowers for the girl I love more than anyone in the world, she lays her head in my lap and tells me she doesn’t want me anymore.” Her rambling keeps going until it bubbles into desperate breaths and shaky hands. JJ can’t help but reach out for her and pull her in close.

“And the worst part is I’m not sure if I can even feel sorry for her because the whole time while I’m painting rainbows down my arms and finally loving who I love, I’ve been loving this boy too.” She breathes, and suddenly, the tears stop.

“Because as much as I loved her, I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

JJ freezes, he thinks for a moment he hasn’t heard her right. The same sweet, gentle Y/n who cried about loving Kiara so deeply, who lived in confusion and fear over labeling things she wasn’t ready to label, the same girl who he sat next to every day in math class wishing her lips would be on his had just confessed six words he never thought he’d actually hear.

“What?” He nearly mouthed, all the air struck out of his lungs.

“I love you, JJ Maybank.” She says dejectedly, her shoulders slumping and her cheeks stained from her tears. “And I love Kiara Carrera too.”

They sat in silence for a moment, and then, JJ’s eyes met her.

“Do you remember when you asked me if I’d look at you differently when you first started figuring out you were into girls too?” JJ asked softly. Y/n nodded, wiping her face.

“I told you I wouldn’t, and I meant it. I love you more than anything in this world, as much as I give you shit. Who you love can never change that, because you are so alive and full of it, how could I even try to act differently towards you?” He meant every word.

Neither of them saw her love life as something to be ashamed of. But rather, just a different kind of love, a good different. Maybe JJ wasn’t like her in that sense, maybe he couldn’t like boys and girls like she could, but he knew Y/n and he knew Kiara and he knew just how special both of them were. The people they took to bed could never change his perception of them, and so to see Y/n struggle so deeply after losing the person who made her see who she truly was hurt his heart.

“I have loved you since before I knew what love even was. And I’ll keep loving you until I forget it too.” He confessed, his hands now cupping her jaw so tenderly, holding her together like she might break.

“You are perfect, and I’ve been grieving just the thought of you gone, I can’t imagine how you can’t see how perfect you are too.”

JJ wasn’t the sentimental type, he didn’t have a way with words or know what to say at the right time, but he always knew how to help her, he knew her, and he loved her just like she loved him, and just how she once loved Kiara.

Between heavy breaths, her lips connected with his, a soft, hesitant kiss that you rarely see in the movies, just testing out the waters like it might kill her to swim deeper. But he kissed her back, and pulled her in tightly until her body had to uncurl and wrap around him instead.

When they pulled apart, all he saw was her, and all she tasted was him.

“Will you look at me differently now?” Y/n asked, her voice timid just like it had been all those months ago.

JJ shook his head.

“No, because I’ve always looked at you this way.”

Authors Note: I don’t usually put authors notes at the end of these short writing but I felt this was very important. As someone who has very openly explored their sexuality and experienced periods of time where they felt scared or anxious about figuring it out, it’s okay to not know, and nobody will judge you for not putting a label on anything yet. It’s so important to remember that we all love the same, and it’s such a tender and vulnerable thing to experience. Don’t ever let anyone’s judgment dictate who you decide to love, there’s always someone out there who will support you, maybe you just haven’t met them yet! If anyone is struggling or needs someone to talk to, my inbox is always open and I am always so happy and willing to chat. :) Happy early pride month to all who celebrate!

[mothhuuny]

my nicolina post went over rwally welll so now im going to be insane about her sniles so sneetly

okay. so. nicolina. the barber. woman going through the worst manic episode ever.

all of the bloodfiends have one form or another of "i cant be honest with my feelings or else everything will go wrong" and nicolina's from of that is "i need to always be silly and unserious or else people will think i'm able to experience negative feelings and if i experience negative feelings the people around me will feel Bad" and she also projects this onto the bloodfiends around her, which leads to the whole mask thing

in her prime, she was actually quite smart and level headed! (esp since its established that she helped create the hemobars. girl is smart!) of course, 200 years being denied your basic necessities will drive a bitch insane so thats why she is the way she is during canto 7. my personal headcannon is that she was a researcher or doctor of some kind, which is also why she's partial towards the plague mask. she's still a doctor, but with a fun little flair now!

when sancho and don quixote aren't around, nicolina becomes the de-facto leader. we can see this in the story, actually. she seems to be the one who thought up the plan in the first place, and in preist!greg's uptie story we can also see that she was most likely the one that actually recruited members for the plan as well. not to mention being the person that took the initiative and sewed masks on everyone. thanks girlie.

i mentioned the fact that nicolina has a pair of scissors on her necklace in my previous post. personally, i think that those are the scissors she actually uses when shes sewing. the big scissors are for show/combat. her workspace tends to be hectic and she loses stuff a lot, so she keeps the smaller ones her necklace so it doesnt get lost as easily.

bonus abt the scissor necklace. i pointed that fact out to my polycule and my boyfriend said "her chewelry..../most likely not" in response and i think he's actually SO FUCKING TRUE ABOUT THAT. nicolina has a tendency to chew on things when focusing or stressed, and her most common victims are her dress, her fair or her scissors. basically anything nearby that isnt herself. the scissors have the worst texture to bite down on but also they dont leave fibers in her mouth like fabric or hair. she's definitely ripped her dress before by biting down on it and accidentally tearing it.

more of a character analysis thing but i find it SO FUCKING TELLING that she literally BEGS to die with her mask on. the mask is both the representation of their suffering, as well as, you know, an actual mask that hides their feelings. she doesn't want anyone to see the ugliness hidden underneath. she wants everything to be in control. if she's still happy, if she's still alive, then that means some of this is salvageable. she can fix this. they will suffer for years and years on end because they is what they deserve but they will survive and she will make sure of it because she need to fix this. it's her job.

the reason she goes insane and basically forces herself into a constant manic state is because she can't be sad or else she'll have to acknowledge to herself and those around her that they are royally Fucked. which, of course, leads to her losing herself even faster becaue of the pressure she placed on herself.

i think the resentment she holds for sancho is merely because she desperately wanted a connection between the two, but sancho denied her at every chance. not consciously, mind you, but because of how scared sancho is of connection. even in the world where she chooses the family above her father, she keeps them all at arm's length.

i believe all of this because, when nicolina saw sancho again, as don quixote, above all else she was excited. don quixote herself describes nicolina as giddy.

you could say it's because she's actually trying to hide her anger, or that she's hallucinating quixote senior over sinner quixote, but i dont think either of those are the case.

i think it's because she knows its sancho that she's so excited. shes aware of where quixote senior is, still on the windmill where they all left him to rot, there's no reason for her to *not* know that. we can also see that she's prone to moments of lucidity, as seen here:

but i also don't think... she's really hates sancho? sure, sancho left them all, and she seems angry at her later for abandoning them and never wearing her clothes, but i think that may be just what she's telling herself. i think she's moreso angry at the idea of sancho. or at least what she did. she hated the fact that father clearly loved her more, but also that, of all people, shes the one that got off scott free. she should be just as guilty ad the rest of them!!!! shes a bloodfiend too!!!! but no!!!!!!! apparently she's perfect and innocent just because she was father's favorite!!!!!!!!!!!

but now she's back and she's going to pay the price all of them did! together!! as a family!!!!!!!

just

augh

nicolina..., i miss you girlie.

sniffle

[enden-k]

More Echo content 🛐 Yoma stuffed inside of Jin's coat. SO CUTE

Also, Og Jin looks so....pitiful? Im not sure thats the word im looking for. I feel really angry looking at those bruises. Might be a bit of a mercy that he is not around anymore and instead it's our dear gold loving Echo...

YOMA'S EYES USED TO BE GREEN!!! Og is so handsome...one chance....

(Im sorry i keep forgetting her name) (I hope thats the right pronoun) AND THE LAST ONE!!! The blue hair really suits her!!! Both her and Jin look far happier (the echos) while Yoma looks like a disgruntled cat. Or dog in this case?

-🦜

i wanted to make a continuation doodle where sei comments (without any ill intention) how they look like a body bag but yoma would def spiral and get distressed bc yknow (*gestures at OG yoma up in heaven*) akjsdbckj

you perfectly describe the echoes feelings for his OG auhghh the first thing he did was "getting rid" of the abusers and later he got extremely angry when prompted to kill the body and move to the next. hes attached and didnt want his OG to go through more pain and abuse anymore (its fun to see a misanthropic being develop affection for a human that changed him and his views on humans for the better)

yea!! OG yoma had green eyes. the echos are purple, he shines through

and yeee anya does!!! the OG went through rough stuff and wished to be able to express herself how she wanted and not how it was expected of her, and to be loved and have friends. the echo made it possible for her to break out and have all that bc it was attracted to her lingering sparks of hope and her dreams despite her depressing situation and wanted her to be happy

(ill def make small sidestory of anya and jin after theyre introduced, to give more info abt their OGs past/creation)

yoma rlly dooo, hes such a grumpy looking mess (which i love)...............i would describe him as a cat thinking and behaving like a dog among the other dogs HAHA

[goldfades]

38. "stay with me, please? i need you tonight. maybe for the rest of my life, if you're generous."

with jamie!

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 | jd⁹

♡ ─ word count | 1.6k

♡ ─ warnings | hurt/comfort, ANGST!! jamie being an asshole (but it was lowkey justified), mention of his injury/trade :((, thats all!

♡ ─ ev's notes | okay listen i forgot the prompt but the last few paragraphs basically describe what the prompt conveys if that makes sense, i still hope u enjoy it nonnie 😭🩷

Jamie had a pretty hard season, with him moving to Philadelphia unexpectedly and him being injured had really gotten to him. He's spent the last two weeks at home recovering and trying to get better as soon as he could, he wanted to be back on the ice as soon as possible. His injury added another layer of frustration. The pain, both physical and emotional, weighed heavily on him. Hockey had always been his sanctuary, and the forced break on top of the trade felt like the whole universe was against him.

You entered the condo, sighing with exhaustion. The last couple months had been frustrating for you as well, but it didn't even come close to how Jamie was feeling. As you entered the small condo, you heard the shower running and assumed it was Jamie.

You put down everything and began starting on dinner, Jamie probably hadn't eaten anything except breakfast. You were worried for him, more than you could ever express. You'd always had faith in him even in the lowest of the lows but he had never been this low in his entire career. He'd always been a determined person but right now, it really did feel like the odds were stacked up against him.

You wanted to do everything in your power to make him happy again, even if it was for a fleeting moment before the world closing on him again. The smell of a home-cooked meal began to fill the air as you moved around the kitchen, chopping vegetables and preparing a comforting dish.

As you worked, your thoughts lingered on Jamie's struggles - the trade, the injury, and the emotional toll it all took on him. You understood the importance of hockey in his life, how it served as a source of purpose. Tonight, you wanted to provide not just a meal but a reminder that he wasn't alone in this struggle, no matter what happens.

As your timer beeped, indicating that dinner was ready, you set the table, adorned with comforting dishes. The shower turned off, and soon Jamie emerged, his weariness evident in his movements. You gave him a warm smile, opening up your arms for a hug.

"I made your favorite,"

He slumped down to your height and embraced you tightly, sighing. You let him hug you before he slipped away from the embrace, and you could feel the tension in his shoulders as he did. The weariness in his pretty eyes spoke volumes, but so did the gratitude for the effort you put into making the evening a little brighter.

"Thank you," Jamie murmured, his voice a mixture of fatigue and appreciation. He walked over to the table and sat down as you brought waters from the fridge before sitting with him.

"How was your day?" You asked gently as you settled into the seat, glancing up to watch him.

"It was fine." He responded shortly as he began eating the food, avoiding your gaze. You knew he didn't want to come off bitter but it stung, you tried your best to not to take it personal. "You?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," you replied with a light chuckle, trying to maintain a casual tone. "Work had its moments, but nothing too exciting. I did manage to catch up with Maya over the phone today, she said she missed us back in California."

You knew you had messed up as you heard Jamie's fork hit the plate, the sound echoing throughout the apartment. Shit, I shouldn't have mentioned California. You looked up and caught his tired gaze as he sighed.

"I'm sorry," you offered softly, regret lacing your words. "I didn't mean to bring up anything that might upset you. It's just habit to share little updates about people we know, you know?"

Jamie took a deep breath, and you could see the effort it took for him to compose himself. "It's okay," he finally replied, though the strain in his voice betrayed the words. "I just... miss the way things used to be."

His vulnerability hung in the air, and you felt a pang of empathy. The unexpected move to Philadelphia had disrupted not only his career but also the familiar life you both had in California. You reached across the table, gently placing your hand over his. "I miss it too, Jamie. But we'll make new memories here. It just takes time."

He sighed and pulled his hand away from yours, your chest squeezing in hurt. He took the fork and continued to eat, choosing to stay silent. You didn't know why he was being so distant, so cold. You hated it but you couldn't resent him for it, you knew it wasn't his fault. That still didn't mean it didn't hurt, though.

The room seemed to shrink with the silence, the only sound was the clinking of cutlery against the plate. The unspoken tension between you and Jamie hung heavy in the air and despite your attempt to offer comfort, he withdrew further into his thoughts. As he continued to eat in silence, you couldn't shake the ache in your chest. The distance, both physical and emotional, left you feeling like a spectator in Jamie's struggle, unable to bridge the gap that seemed to widen with each passing moment.

You had never had this problem with Jamie before, he communicated everything he felt so that it was easier for the both of you so this was new territory. What had changed? Why was he retreating into this new, silent version of himself? The questions lingered, unanswered, amplifying the sense of helplessness.

With a heavy sigh, you set your fork down, the clatter against the plate echoing the unease in the room. "Jamie," you began tentatively, your voice soft but carrying the weight of your concern. "I hate seeing you like this, I just want to help."

Jamie had finally slammed the fork down, looking up at you with agitated playing on his face. "You can't fucking help me, Y/N. Do you get that, is that simple enough for you? I can't breathe around you without you looking at me and trying to analyze it and help me. You look at me like I'm some kind of burden you need to carry, and I'm sick of it."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the raw emotion behind them stinging more than any physical blow. It was a side of Jamie you hadn't encountered before, and the harshness in his tone took you aback. There was silence as you both stared at each other and you saw the regret slowly seep into Jamie's expression.

You took a moment to collect yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat before finally speaking. "I never meant to make you feel like a burden. I just care about you, and seeing you struggle hurts. I thought we could face it together, like we always have."

He lowered his gaze, a visible conflict playing out in his eyes. The regret painted across his face was palpable, and for a moment, it seemed like he was grappling with the weight of his words. "I know I messed up," Jamie finally admitted, his voice softer now, remorse evident. "It's just... everything feels like too much right now, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, baby."

The pet name rolled off his tongue like honey as he spoke and you could see the old Jamie come back slowly as you gazed at him. You nodded, acknowledging the complexity of the emotions that had fueled his outburst.

"Everything will be easier if you just talk to me, Jamie." You paused, choosing your words carefully. "I want to understand, Jamie. I want to be there for you," you continued, your voice gentle but firm. "We can face whatever it is together. Just talk to me. Please."

He sighed, the conflict in his eyes softening. "I know, Y/N. I just... I'm not used to all of this. The move, the injury, it's like my whole world got turned upside down, and I don't know how to understand it."

You reached across the table, your hand finding his. "We'll figure it out together. You don't have to carry it all on your own. I hate seeing you hurt like this, baby."

He squeezed your hand, the warmth of the gesture was filled with gratitude. "I don't want to push you away, Y/N. I just... I've always been the one who had it all figured out, you know? But this, it's different. It's overwhelming."

"You don't have to have it all figured out, Jamie. We'll navigate through this together. It's okay not to be okay, you don't have to play the part because at the end of the day, you're just human."

He nodded, a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes. "I'm just scared of losing everything, of losing myself in all of this mess."

The weight of his fears hung in the air, and you leaned in, your thumb gently caressing his hand. "You won't lose yourself, Jamie. I'm here to help you find your way back. We'll take it one step at a time."

For a moment, he hesitated, the weight of vulnerability hanging in the air. Then, slowly, he began to open up. The words spilled out, frustration, fear, and the overwhelming pressure he felt. As he spoke, you listened, offering support.

After the conversation, you laid next to him in the bed, his head laying on your chest. The silence was comfortable as you both began to seep into sleep, enveloped in one another. Your fingers gently traced soothing patterns on his back as you held him close, your presence a reassurance that he wasn't alone ever.

The soft rhythm of his breathing matched the steady beat of your heart, as Jamie shifted slightly, his fingers finding yours in the darkness.

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thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[the-s1lly-corner]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

TADC x ENA type!GN!reader

typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions

CAINE:

caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere

will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side

takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone

you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words

POMNI:

writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA

anyways

absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up

honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things

not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write

JAX:

initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken

tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)

sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane

bro is fighting the urge to mimic it

surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself

RAGATHA:

optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others

similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think

ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin