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jeankluv · 7 days ago

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Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 22

words: 3,5k

summary: While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths. Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.

tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug

notes: it’s embarrassing to come here after almost a month, but with everything in my life I don’t find time to write anything 😭 but even if it takes me a lot I will give an ending to this story, I promise.

The urls are not working, so until then there won’t be url link. But a link for the materialist would be at the end.

materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

Satoru rarely left the Gojo family home and when he did, he was always accompanied by his nanny. But to little Satoru, at the age of five, the mere fact of going beyond the stone walls that prevented him from seeing further, seemed like an adventure, a great adventure. For being only five years old, he had already tried to go out on more than one occasion but had obviously failed miserably. But Satoru did not give up, he wanted to see more, he did not want to be locked up like a bird.

So that day Satoru was thrilled when his nanny told him they were going on a little adventure. Little Satoru had his blue jacket on and moved his little fits around while looking through the window of the car.

Next to him his nanny was sitting and in the front seat the family chofer was driving in silence, with his eyes covered by those black glasses. But little Satoru was just too focused on the city that he barely got to see, the cars passing, the skyscrapers, everything was amazing for the five year old boy.

“We have arrived.” The chofer said as the car stopped in front of a white building.

Satoru looked at the building curious wondering what that place was, his nanny thanked the chofer and they both got out of the car. Satoru held his nanny’s hand as they both entered the building.

“Where are we?” Satoru asked, looking at her with his big blue eyes.

“This is a planetarium, you know what it is?” Satoru shook his head not knowing what it was. “Well it’s a place where people can learn about planets and the stars.”

“The ones in the sky?” Satoru asked as he looked around and up.

“Yeah, the ones you see at night.” She explained.

His nanny, who had been with him for over a year, was called Fumiko and was the person Satoru spent the most time with and the person little Satoru loved the most. He barely saw his parents and every time he was with them, the relationship was cold as winter, but with Fumiko he felt the love he didn't feel with them.

He walked across the hallway observing everything, his blue eyes discovering new things he didn’t know about, vibrant colors and lights all over the place.

“Little Gojo.” Fumiko called him.

Satoru clenched his cheeks and glared at Fumiko. “Don’t call me Gojo.” He said as he crossed his arms.

“Why?” Fumiko tilted her head.

“I don’t like it.” Satoru looked at the ground and began to play with his feet.

“Why don’t you like it?” Fumiko knelt before him.

“Because… because it’s the same name as dad and him…” Satoru’s words trailed off, but Fumiko quickly picked up on the boy’s message.

“Okay, how about I call you… little Satoru?”

Satoru’s gaze lit up. “But I’m not little!” He protested again.

“Oh of course you are!” Fumiko replied mockingly. “You are so little!”

“No I am not!” Satoru replied.

“But only little boys get to have dessert later.” Fulminó said, knowing too well that Satoru couldn’t deny having dessert.

Satoru felt silent and then hugged Fumiko. “I’m little.” He said.

“Yes you are.” She said, hugging his little body back. “Now let’s go inside, the show is about to start.” She smiled. “You know my best friend is the one presenting.” Fumiko mentioned.

Satoru looked at her. “Can we meet her?”

“Of course, after she is done showing everyone about the planets we can.” Fumiko said. “And you know… she has a daughter who is your age, maybe next time you can meet her too.”

“And maybe I could have a friend!” Satoru excitedly said.

“Or a girlfriend! She is really cute.” Fumiko mentioned.

“No! I don’t want that!” Satoru protested. “Love is bad.”

“No, little Satoru.” Fumiko took him in her arms as they walked inside the room. “Love is good, and you will see it once you find it.”

“And how will I find it?” He said, moving on the chair that he was now sitting.

“It will happen, and with your good heart I’m sure it will be beautiful.” Fumiko pinched his cheek. “Now look…” She whispered, pointing out to the ceiling, which was beginning to light up with stars as the light faded.

Satoru’s eyes shined when he saw all the constellations there. It was exciting, it was magical. Little Satoru didn’t feel like that moment was real.

A woman appeared on stage and she started talking, causing Satoru's attention to increase, the colors that illuminated the space were reflected on her face. The woman spoke softly as she moved around the stage and showed different images and holograms. Satoru became more and more excited.

His attention never left the environment, enjoying every single moment of it. He wanted to do that too, he wanted to study the stars, the planets, he wanted to be like her.

“Fumiko…” He whispered. “I want to be like her.”

“For real?” Fumiko asked with a bright smile. “You can ask her what she studied so you can be like her.” Satoru nodded, determined to do it.

The conversation went by in a flash, or so Satoru thought, wanting to learn more. Grabbing Fumiko's hand, they approached the stage, where Fumiko's friend was saying goodbye to some people.

Satoru's grip on her hand tightened, nervous about getting close to her. Fumiko and her friend exchanged greetings and then the woman's eyes landed on Satoru. The woman bowed and smiled.

“Hello!” She said with a great smile. “I’m Ren, what’s your name?”

“Satoru.” He said.

“Oh… and how old are you Satoru?” She asked him.

“I’m five… but I will be six in December!”

“So you are the same age as my daughter.” She smiled. “Maybe one day you can meet her and play with her.” Satoru nodded.

“Little Satoru, you don’t have something to ask Ren?” Fumiko spoke.

“Oh… I… I really liked what you said…” Satoru moved his hands. “I want to be like you!”

“Oh for real?” Ren smiled. “Well then you will have to study a lot!”

“I will!” Satoru responded.

“And love what you do a lot!”

“I will too! I will be the best and be like you!”

“I will be looking forward to that Satoru.” Ren touched his hair with a smile.

As soon as they left the place, Satoru asked Fumiko for books about space and the stars. He wanted to become someone like Ren, he wanted to be able to study the stars, study the night sky.

The next day Fumiko appeared in his room with a book in her hands, the first of many about the universe. Little by little Satoru found in this new world an escape and a relaxation to ignore the screams he received from his parents.

Luckily Fumiko was always there for him, together they walked to a lake and spent hours playing or reading one of the new astronomy books that Fumiko had bought him.

But that peace for Satoru soon ended, specifically on the day of his 6th birthday.

He ran through the entire house of the Gojo clan, as fast as his body allowed him and barefoot he went out into the cold Tokyo winter. His feet touched the cold snow and with tears in his eyes he shouted Fumiko's name, hoping that she would turn around and that what she had heard was not true.

Fumiko couldn't leave, she had to stay there, she was the only person who truly loved and cared for him. And now she was leaving.

Satoru cried for hours as the snow fell, waiting for Fumiko to return. But she never did.

At the time Satoru didn't understand why Fumiko left without saying goodbye, without explanation. It wasn't until he was 17 that one of the workers confessed to him that Fumiko had been fired by his parents for putting ideas in Satoru's head.

Even though his parents tried for years to get Satoru to continue and become a lawyer, Satoru refused and after learning the truth he was even less likely to give in to it.

That’s why he enrolled himself secretly on the degree he wanted so badly.

“Stop giving me such a hard time!” Satoru shouted to the phone while he walked across the campus. “This is my life so just let me!”

Satoru rubbed his eyes in frustration as he listened to his father speaking on the other side. He felt his backpack bump into something, or rather someone. “Sor—…”

“Son, you really disappointed me.” He heard.

“Just leave me!” He scream.

“All of this is that nanny’s fault…”

“Don’t bring Fumiko into this and now get lost!” He said before hanging off.

Satoru turned to see if the person who crashed into him was still there. But it wasn’t, he only saw a figure of a girl far away from where he was. Frustrated, he ruffled his hair and walked to his classroom.

Everyone turned to look at him, talked about him or directly approached him, because they knew who he was and he hated it so much.

He entered the class and made himself comfortable in one of the seats. The rest of his classmates started to enter, Satoru was not really paying too much attention, not until he saw you.

You entered the classroom, your backpack hanging from your shoulder, as you looked at a paper you held in your hands. Satoru knew it in that instant and the memory of when he was little started to pass through his head. You were that girl he had met at the lake, you were you, right? Satoru was convinced that you were.

He tried to move to another seat, but the people next to him prevented him from doing so, so he could only watch you from behind. Sitting by the window, occasionally looking through it.

When the class ended, Satoru jumped out of his seat and approached you, but your cold gaze and small snort left him with his feet planted on the floor.

After that Satoru only received blank stares and ignorance from you, but he still wanted to find you, get to know you, watch you and your friend, like that for two years.

“Teacher, I was wondering if in the next pair assignment you could put me with…” Satoru named you.

“And why is that Gojo?” Professor Tanaka looked at him.

“Well…” Satoru scratched the back of his neck. “We’re the best in the class, we could work well and also, no one would take advantage of us, you know, there are people who end up never doing anything.”

Tanaka thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Satoru bowed. “But please don’t comment on this.”

“Sure, now leave Gojo.”

Satoru walked out of the classroom with a smile on his face, he could finally interact with you, he wouldn't have to watch you from afar. Even though your reaction was what he expected from Satoru, he didn't give up.

He never did. Especially when he got to know you better, he was sure that he was never going to give up on you and what you had.

But then everything was black and only constant beeps were everything he could hear. Satoru mind was racing, he was in the middle of the match and then… then he had the ball and…

Oh yeah, Sukuna… he fell and hit his head on the floor. That happened?

He wasn’t sure.

“You came to the party with our son right?” He heard a voice, it was distant but he knew who it was, it was his mother. “It was not difficult for us to track you down…No family, works in a grocery store and you are on scholarship.”

“I have a family…” And that voice, he knew that voice too well. He loved that voice.

“Dead…”

Satoru started to hear the voices more clearly, he was coming back, he felt his hand moving and his anger rising.

“You think he will thank you for this someday? For being the reason why he is wasting his potential.” His father said.

Satoru’s blue eyes slowly opened, he saw you, holding his hand, while your gaze was away from him and it looked sad. Satoru wanted to move and held you closer to him, taking away the sadness that you had in your eyes.

His eyes then moved to see them, his parents were there, standing tall feeling like they were superior to you.

“Leave…” Satoru murmured, he felt his ribs killing him as he spoke.

“Satoru…” You said, getting closer to him.

“Hey.” He smiled, trying to calm you down. “I’m back.”

“Son.” His father said.

Satoru’s eyes got darker as he turned to look at them. “Why are you still here?”

“We came to see you son.” His mother spoke.

“Well, you can leave because you are not welcome here.

Satoru’s voice was firm, each word cutting through the tension in the room like a blade.

“Son.” His father said, his tone cutting, clearly not used to being dismissed. “We came all this way to check on you, and this is the thanks we get? You’ve always been ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful?” Satoru’s laugh was dry and humorless as he leaned lightly against his pillows. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to your impossible expectations. And the one time I decide to do something for myself, you have the audacity to call me ungrateful?”

His mother stepped forward, her face a mask of cold composure. “We only want the best for you, son. Do you think this… childish rebellion will get you anywhere? Look at you now.”

“No.” Satoru replied, his voice firm. “I’m here because I put my heart into something I love. Something you’ll never understand because you only care about control and appearances. I’m sick of letting you dictate my life.”

“You’re being a fool.” His father snapped. “You’re throwing away a future we worked so hard to build for you. And for what? To pursue a fleeting passion? Or worse.” He stared at you, his expression hardening. “To follow someone who is clearly beneath you?”

The words hit you like a slap, but before you could respond, Satoru’s voice rang out, cold and sharp. “Don’t you dare speak of her like that.”

His father blinked, surprised by the venom in Satoru’s tone. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Satoru said, his blue eyes shining despite his weakened state. You can insult me all you want, criticize my decisions, my career, whatever. But you can’t disrespect them. They support you more than you ever have.

His mother’s lips thinned. “Satoru, we’re just trying to protect you. From yourself and from… people who don’t understand what it means to be part of our family.”

“Enough.” Satoru interrupted, his voice rising slightly. “I’m sick of hearing you tear me down. I’ve spent my entire life trying to fit into the mold you wanted, and it’s never been enough. I’ve found something that makes me happy, someone that makes me happy, and if you can’t respect that, then maybe it’s best if you don’t come around anymore.”

The room fell into a heavy silence. His parents exchanged a glance, their expressions unreadable, but you could feel the tension radiating off of them.

“Okay.” His father said after a long pause, his voice cold. “If this is the path you insist on taking, don’t come crying to us when it breaks down.”

His mother turned around without another word, her heels clicking loudly against the tile floor as she walked to the door. His father followed, stopping only to cast one last disdainful glance in your direction before leaving.

The door closed with a click and the silence that followed was echoing. Satoru let out a long sigh, his body sinking back against the pillows.

You took his hand, your fingers shaking slightly. “Satoru…”

“I’m fine…” He said quietly, though his voice was thick with emotion. He turned to you, his eyes softening. “I’m sorry you had to see that. They… they’ve always been like that.”

You shook your head. “Don’t apologize. You stood up for yourself, for us. I’m proud of you.”

He gave you a slight smile, squeezing your hand. “They don’t define me. And they don’t define us. I’m not going to let them get in the way of what I want.”

You leaned forward and gently rested your forehead against his. “Good...”

He closed his eyes, the tension in his body started to fade away as he held your hand. “As long as you’re here, I can handle anything.”

“And I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered.

“I know…” Satoru whispered, leaving a tender kiss on your head.

“I should call the doctor.” You broke your distance. “For them to check you.”

“Stay, let’s stay like this a bit more.” He hugged, even though he felt pain he didn’t want to let your warm go from his side. “I’m a bad person if I say I don’t want to see them again?”

Satoru got nervous as your silence grew more, but his heart soon relaxed when your calm tone reached his ears. “No… no you are not. They are the bad ones, not them. They have only looked out for the benefit of the family, never for you, and you have wanted to seek your happiness. And that happiness is not with them.” You pulled away and held his face carefully. “Don’t blame yourself, because it is not your fault at all.”

Satoru softly smiled. “I love you.”

You smiled back. “I love you too… but don’t scared me like that again.” You said. “You know how terrified I was when Nanami and Haibara appeared on the store and told me something happened?”

“Birdie… I’m so sorry…”

“I’m killing that guy.” You said with a firm tone.

“Who Sukuna?” You nodded. “He is quite big you know?”

“You doubt me? I was black belt in taekwondo and if he hurt you I won’t hesitate.” You looked at him and Satoru smiled.

“I’m sure that will be handled… don’t worry, okay?” He kissed you.

“I will always worry about you…” You said. “Because I care about you.”

The room fell quiet again, the only sound the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Not much time passed before a nurse came to the room, getting surprised by the fact that Satoru was awake. Soon enough the doctor came in, wanting to make sure Satoru was in perfect conditions.

“You have a broken rib and fortunately the hit on your head wasn’t serious.” The doctor said checking the pages on his hands. “But you will have headaches for a week and the broken rib, it will take around six or eight weeks to be fully recovered.” Satoru nodded while listening to those words. “So no activities during that time, you need to rest.” Then he looked at you. “Make sure he follows...”

“Doctor, I’m right here.” Satoru protested.

“Well that’s it then, I will see you before sending you home.” The doctor said leaving the room.

Satoru smirked and looked at you. “So my beautiful girlfriend will be taking care of me?”

“Yeah, and I will make sure you properly rest Satoru Gojo.” You said. “Don’t look at me like that, you need to recover.”

“I promise I will be nice.” He smiled. “You know… you could stay with me, in my apartment.” He held your hand. “It would be a good way to start seeing how well we get along living together before moving…”

You looked at him. “Satoru… are you indirectly asking me to move in together?”

Satoru chuckled, kissing your hand. “Would it be a bad idea? I plan on moving from that apartment once I've recovered, now that my relationship with my parents it’s broken, I want to start living completely for myself.” He looked at you without blinking. “And I don’t know birdie, starting that chapter with you warms my heart completely.” The distance between the two of you started to be shorter. “So tell me birdie, would you live with me?”

You scanned his face and a soft and shy smile broke into your face. “Sounds good… I would love to be there ‘Toru.”

🏷️: @lavender-hvze , @crybabytoru , @sanriosatoru , @norvacaine , @sadmonke , @faetoraa , @hexipessimistic , @gojoful , @kitzusune , @sh0jun , @manyno , @ropickle , @anniegojo , @milk3evee , @crunchypotatoooooooooo , @catobsessedlady , @zoeyflower , @starlostwish , @tinydonkeysforlife , @mimisq11341 , @n1vi , @olanii1019 , @vtrulvamp , @yjuisu

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homocidalpotat · 7 months ago

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Intro post under the cut!

Please read it though, I sorted it out so it should be very simple to read :3

Basic introduction

This post is probably on the boring side, and quite lengthy but if you can be bothered to read it I would really appreciate it.

URL stuff: Link! (in case my url offends/confuses you)

Name: Jasper

Gender: Alexigender/genderqueer/genderfluid/non-binary, whatever, I don't massively care lol

Pronouns: They/them mostly but I'm happy anything other than she/her

Theriotypes (yeah, I'm a therian/otherhearted!): Bats, foxes, Burmese mountain dogs, moths

MBTI and Zodiac: INTJ, Scorpio (I don't believe in zodiac sign meanings or anything but if you want to know, here!)

Other blogs/sideblogs: link

DNI

Discriminators, racists, homophobes, aphobes, transphobes, sexists, terfs, nazis, radfems, radqueers, anti-endos, antifurs, anti therians, proshippers, pedophiles, rapists, haters, donation blogs

I am a minor, so don't tag or show me anything that might not be appropriate. Literally anything NSFW. Anything 18+. Anything sexual at all (plus, I'm sex-repulsed) is a really big no.

Please don't harass me- with spam, in my DMs/askbox; about ANYTHING. If you have a problem with something I say or do, just talk to me calmly? It's not the end of the world if you don't like my posts. Block me if you want, I don't really care.

For mutuals and other people that tag me- PLEASE DON'T TAG ME IN STUFF ABOUT BAD MENTAL HEALTH!!! This includes trauma dump chains.

Donations/gofundmes

As I'm a minor with no money I can't donate to any funds for anything or anyone. I might not reblog donation posts if there are triggering subjects on it, but if I feel able to, I will. Please don't send me asks/DMs for donations/help, here is why I have said this . I mean any asks, no matter your situation or nationality. I'm not doing favouritism.

Link to Daily Clicks for Palestine: here

I made a petition for perfume use in schools here, please sign it! Here's the post about it.

Queer stuff

I'm asexual and sex repulsed. I am also genderqueer/genderfluid/alexigender, so I don't mind what terminology or pronouns you use on me but I prefer more neutral ones. I don't know how to label my sexuality but I'm just calling it queer. I'm in a loving, long-term romantic relationship with the wonderful @names-confuse-me (they're called Erin and he's awesome!).

I will always respect your pronouns and identity and I am a safe person to speak to about this (and most other things). If I don't know your pronouns I will use they/them until I find out. Sometimes I don't fully understand an identity but I will always respect and acknowledge it!

Queer dictionary (genuinely a lifesaver): Link!!! And here's the link to the post I made about it!

Mental Health stuff

I am officially diagnosed with autism, and I might have OCD. My parents think I have ADHD, as well as probably synthensia. But in short I am neurodivergent, so would really appreciate a safe environment for me, if you can provide it!

I also have vivid hallucinations, panic attacks, I self harm, etc. I have a vent blog so I won't mention it here, and I always use trigger warnings. This shouldn't be an issue but if you really dont want to see that stuff, don't follow me probably.

Sometimes people tag/dm/ask/reblog something to me and I don't respond. I'm not ghosting you, I don't hate you, you haven't done anything wrong. I am a depressed teenager with strict parents and little-to-no motivation half the time. Sorry if this bothers you but I just can't sometimes.

Please don't purposefully harass or upset me. You will be blocked and reported.

Here is a post I made about my boundaries for people coming to vent to me: link

Note about my content

Everything I say is gender neutral (e.g. dude, bro, girlie) but I will always use your preferred pronouns and be as affirming for you as possible. If you aren't okay with me referring to you with gendered words that you don't like, even ironically, just shout! I won't be upset and I will stop straight away

Everything is platonic as well. I might say things like "I love you" or a silly, sappy thing but it is completely platonic. Again, if you don't like that, I can very easily stop. I do say romantic things to Erin, but you can avoid that with a tag I mention just below this!

Sometimes I might post something rash, rude or wrong without realising. Please call me out on this sort of thing, and I'd really appreciate it if you do so calmly. I am neurodivergent, which might excuse me for posting something like that, but it won't justify it.

This blog is pretty much entirely SFW. I don't often reblog things that are NSFW (depending on your definition of NSFW, I might never have), but if I think something is even slightly inappropriate or triggering, I will tag it <3

My tags, that I will try to use (but often forget to):

Original posts: jasper did a thing

Reblogs: jasper saw a thing

Conversational reblogs: jasper is doing the speech

Asks: jasper spreads their limited wisdom

Being romantic with my partner: channel simp

What I post/interests

Stuff I like: Nature (yes! all of it... except most molluscs), music, being whimsical, understanding the world around me, being gay (and doing crimes), making other people feel happy, my dog and two rabbits, being creative, dinosaurs, geology, going exploring anywhere, big long walks, my partner, gaming, binge watching, making friends, i-will-add-to-this-list-when-i-can-think-of-stuff

Media I interact with: Legend of Zelda (specifically TOTK, BOTW and Skyward Sword), Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Jurassic Park/World, the Hunger Games and the Owl House, the Lord of the Rings, Gravity Falls, She-Ra, Brooklyn 99, the Good Place, Heartstopper, Doctor Who, What We Do In The Shadows, Portal, Delicious in Dungeon, Green Day, Dead Boy Detectives

Ships I interact with: Ineffable Spouses (Good Omens), Sidlink (TOTK/BOTW), Johnlock (BBC Sherlock) and BlackBonnet (OFMD), Lumity (TOH), Raeda (TOH), a bunch of other TOH ships, Farcille (DID), Kabru (DID), Payneland (DBD)

I don't always post a huge amount of some of these fandoms/ships/media, so if you plan on following me for them, maybe just have a snoop around my account for a bit first. You might find that I hardly ever interact with the content. Maybe if you prompt me to I will. The lists don't necessarily include everything I like because I don't have that memory.

On this blog you can expect posts/reblogs about the fandoms in, memes, shitposts, and just a friendly face to chat to. I love asks! I'm always happy to receive one (PLEASE send me asks I'm lonely).

Mutuals

I will add your username to a Google Sheets, where I list whether or not I can tag you in certain things. If you haven't checked it out already, please respond to this post, mutuals! It's purely for your benefit! I will try and update the document every time I get a new mutual but I don't always remember.

I hope I can add some more amazing tumblrinas to my list! The community here is delightful <33

Credits

My header image is from Pinterest images that I put together and I made my profile picture. Credit to @visceracture and @zack-agere for making the dividers in this post. Thank you!

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lover-of-mine · 4 months ago

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Okay, so, I'm fully aware of the platform I accidentally created with the whole network, and I love being the place people come for information and a good laugh about the madness. But I am a person. I am also only one person. I get a whole lot of asks in a day, I try to answer as many as I can but sometimes my life gets in the way and sometimes the things I'm getting kill my vibe and make me less inclined to sit through my inbox for hours. I filter as much as I can, sometimes the sheer volume of asks filter things too. I'm just the messenger. I'm not gonna let you use me to rage bait because I'm the one who takes the heat for it. Is my name attached to the asks. I don't condone with what's been happening, the blogs who take things too far or whoever it was who wrote that fic. I don't know who wrote it, if it was an angry buddie shipper or a disturbed bucktommy one or someone outside of the mess who wants to have fun putting us against each other, but I know that I don't want anything to do with that individual or individuals. But to act like they somehow speak for the whole buddie fandom is messed up. To expect every buddie fan to public denounce them is messed up. Unfortunately, there has always been fucked up fics posted to ao3. Are we gonna chase down everyone who wrote fics where Chim is abusive towards Maddie, or where Eddie is Buck's Doug, or the very disturbing Ana bashing fics that include shit ranging from her kidnapping Chris to her raping Buck too then? We've seen a bt shipper say that Eddie should kill himself because Ryan's experience would make the scene realistic, but I never expected anyone to apologize for her behavior because I know she's not the norm and she's the only one responsible for the shit she says. No one here speaks for anyone. But dissecting why a character acts the way he does when he has a canon past of bigotry does not give anyone the right to say that the only reason something disturbing is happening is because I said something mean about Tommy. That fic is fucked up. But the only person responsible for it is whoever wrote it. If I knew who that was, trust me, I would be putting them on blast, but I don't. Some of you need to get off your high horse. No one can control fandom, and a witch hunt just because someone found a burner account that may or may not be responsible for shit and attacking everyone because they are being followed by them is not it. It's not gonna solve anything. To try and make anyone who said something negative about Tommy responsible is not it. I'm a real person. I know y'all only see a hockey player's picture and a 5sos song url, but I'm a person. I am not a newspaper and I'm also not the spokesperson for the buddie fandom who needs to make a statement about these awful things happening. I'm not the one creating the unsafe space. My shit is properly tagged, I stay in my blog, I don't go chasing people I don't agree with just to pick a fight. But y'all do love dragging me into shit I have nothing to do with. What happened is fucked but can we stop blaming the whole fandom for the actions of a very small portion of it?

#911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts #tw suicide mention

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neechees · 11 months ago

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I'm putting out a warning for the user @jenniferpss/jenniferpzsss for likely being a scam and likely being run by notorious scammer Laura Deramas for the following reasons & proof:

Their blog has only existed since December 16th 2023, which is when they started asking for money.

They claim they live in the U.S but are "European" and are recieving healthcare in the U.S, while also asking for donations in American dollars. We've seen this with various other scams like nevermindblog where they claimed to be European but had their paypal currency set to U.S dollars. It's also weird to me that a European would go to a country with one of the most expensive healthcare costs in the world when there's several other, closer, much less expensive options that are equal (if not higher) in quality to the U.S to recieve healthcare within Europe. (Proof of that below)

On the note of calling themselves "European", they never specify what their Nationality or ethnicity is. Of course not all Europeans are the same, but that's precisely it, a lot of Europeans don't just call themselves "European", they'll happily list where they're from, and say something like "I'm Breton from France", or "I'm German" or "I'm from England", not just "I'm European". This allegedly European user doesn't and hasn't ever listed their country of origin, so they're likely faking an ethnicity

They claim they want to recieve donations via PayPal and Facebook pay, but to use facebook pay you have to have an active facebook account, which they refuse to give to people.

Below they also claim fbpay & paypal is "the only way I can recieve donations" despite the fact that cashapp & venmo, two of the most popular money transfer apps in the U.S, are available to Americans with an American address. If theyve been living long enough in America to be well incorporated into the American healthcare system, including having American insurance, an American specialist doctor, and a homecare nurse that they say they have in their donation post, then why can they not just use venmo or cashapp, which is available to anyone with an American address, which if they're telling the truth, they would definitely have? I find it hard to believe that someone who's been living in America for a while doesn't know about venmo or cashapp when asking for donations.

They claim in their donation post that they want to be "truly as transparent and honest as possible!", but then when someone asked jenniferpss to clear up some allegations against them & to be transparent, instead of doing what they said they'd do, they redirected, said the person asking questions was "attacking" them, and then didn't answer ANY of the questions. This would be suspicious enough on its own, but we've also seen such behavior from Laura in previous scams where, instead of answering reasonable, legitimate questions people had, she victimized herself and claimed ANY questions were a personal "attack" on her, regardless of how nicely worded.

They started spam messaging/asking people to reblog their donation posts, including sending these messages specifically to people who say they don't reblog donation posts bc they received an ask to.

Suddenly changed their url after being asked to address their suspicious behavior, which is a common scammer tactic. (Used to be @jenniferpss, now changed to @/jenniferpzsss, which you can see the difference & dates in the above and below screenshots)

In one of their posts, they specifically tagged two previous victims of Laura Deramas asking them to reblog their post, but ONLY them. If they're truly new to tumblr then why specifically tag those two users? How did they know about those users when they previously never interacted with either of them? Why did they ONLY tag those two users? We know Laura would often re-target other people who had donated to her or that she'd manipulated in the past for her newer scams where she pretended to be someone else, so this is typical Laura behavior. Note that the replies on their donation post are also restricted, which is ALSO typical scammer behavior

#justin's scam list #donation scam #scammers #scam #jenniferpss #jenniferpzsss

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neriumxoleander · 9 months ago

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If you could explain, I'm only learning this now! What's going on with Gato? I've only seen vague posts but I know all social media is gone (because by god fucking twitter apparently) I've seen from the fake gatobob account post about recent events and I'm soo confused. Could you please shed some more light on this? If you are as clueless as I am, you don't need to respond. - @your-very-own-anon (mod speaking)

Sorry for the late response, I've been trying to retag some things while I'm focused on this account for once. I'll try to be brief? please don't take me as the authority on this, I just happened to get into the tags while it was unfolding earlier today. still going under a read more though. i suppose a tw for mentions of racism and xenophobia are warranted. And please do not interact if you are a minor or have no age listed on your blog, I will block you.

Gato deleted her social media accounts this morning (tumblr, twitter, pillowfort) and explained on patreon it was for her mental health and safety (which... safety? hm) and someone here immediately claimed the gatobob url. which happens, it's tumblr. but this person is using it basically as a callout center.

the callout seems to be about an incident that happened in the patreon exclusive discord server before it got shut down a couple months ago. tldr according to this person, someone (a mod?) made a racist comment towards someone, and gato apparently handled the situation poorly and neither her or the mods apology were really that great. I was in the server as a lurker more than anything, but I don't remember being there when this happened.

other people sending in asks to this new gatobob account have also been calling her out for xenophobia, but I have a feeling that's looking a little bit too much into statements she's made about her games being redistributed in Russia and Spain specifically if i recall correctly.

this new blog is demanding gato and the aforementioned mod properly apologize for their behaviour, but in my opinion, this is a really weird and bad way to go about it. Smart to use her url as a way to boost the problem, but... I haven't seen any solid evidence besides some very vague screenshots, none of them including the racist remarks (the screenshots they've posted so far definitely aren't good responses or apologies if they ARE linked to this incident, and it should have been taken seriously) And the victim from the racism incident is NOT the person running the new gatobob account, so it feels very weird to me that this person is taking it upon themselves to stir everyone up and demand things from gato and the mod.

as far as I can tell, gato hasn't said anything about this on patreon, although she's likely taking her separation from social media very seriously. If she is aware (and I'm sure she's getting plenty of DMs about this on patreon), she'll likely make a post there addressing it in the next couple days, but that's just speculation.

I'm keeping a mostly neutral stance in this whole thing, but I'm encouraging people to not interact with this new gatobob account. There's nothing we can really do; they aren't impersonating her, posting anything against ToS as far as Im aware, and people have been hoarding urls for years. Just... listen and learn, I think is all I can suggest. Form your own opinions, but don't go on a witch hunt about it, if that makes any sense.

I'll try to answer other questions, but I'm just one guy on the internet who doesn't usually get tangled with things like this. Please be patient.

#Talking to the River #TPoF #BtD #Gatobob #Boyfriend to Death #The Price of Flesh #I guess ill toss this into the tags again for the sake of spreading information. but once again I'm not saying i know everything #if i remembered something wrong or worded things in a bad light I'm sorry but I'm not great at public speaking at the best of times

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genericpuff · 1 year ago

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Turns out it's been a while since I've talked about Rachel's medical fetish art so it came as a shock to people when I mentioned it in the last post (I've got quite a few asks about it lmao) So I'm gonna enlighten y'all real quick on what I'm referring to, and yes, it's probably exactly what you're thinking of when you hear the word 'medical fetish'.

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MEDICAL FETISH ART AND DEPICTIONS OF NEEDLES!!!!

So the name "used_bandaid" is one Rachel started using back in the early to mid 2000's. She went by a LOT of different pennames back then, including but probably not limited to:

Pepper_maid

madame_issue

Usedbandaid/used_bandaid

Rach Alex

Rachel Royale

Raquel

Medical Tophat/Medical_Tophat

Frill_house

Gingerbreadcoffin (? this one's kinda weird because the link itself with this username just goes back to her used bandaid MySpace account , so idk if she ever actually used it or if it was even affiliated with her lol)

Now you're probably about to ask, "Puff, how do you know these are all her?" and that's because Rachel still had all of these accounts interlinked through her projects, primarily The Doctor Pepper Show. She seemed to change up usernames often just for the hell of it.

Anyways. I'm not gonna show much of it here because I do think it's better to leave certain things in the past, but there's a LOT of her old work that implies the stuff that's questionable/problematic in LO has always been a part of her identity as an artist (DDLG, hot pink self-insert MC, etc.)

One such example is "madame issue":

This is such a 3-in-1 smoking gun for everything we see in LO. The reference to bandaids (see: used bandaid, which was part of her URL slug for her old flickr where this drawing comes from), the hot pink color palette, and of course, the fact that this character is almost DEFINITELY a self-insert of Rachel, thanks to that shared name.

She's also stated in old commission/print posts that Madame Issue was the one print she wouldn't sell.

She doesn't explicitly say why but I think it's pretty safe to assume it's because Madame Issue is her.

We also have Eva, "the queen of medical fetish". And the tags are... pretty self-explanatory.

That said, that's as much as I'm gonna go into with her old art, because a lot of it does get quite personal with her and I don't really think it accomplishes much more to continue digging up old skeletons, at least not unless they can be seen as parallel to LO (which some of them are and I'll likely be sharing more of those ones in a later post).

That said, there ARE still pages that are accessible without the use of the Wayback Machine that advertise her as a medical fetish artist without the need for extensive digging. If you search up The Doctor Pepper Show on Google, you'll actually find a reddit thread asking what happened to Rachel's old work, and there are comments with loads of resources to access her pre-LO content. You'll also find the listing for The Doctor Pepper Show on The Webcomic List, which literally describes it as a medical fetish comic: "This is a comic set in a world where evil doctors rule, girls wear frilly underpants and people use their manners. *May I please blow your f**king head off?* This comic features Gothic dandys, EGL (Gothic lolitas) and medical fetish fashion. (Neo victorian setting)"

I'll let y'all do your own digging from here, there's a LOT to unpack honestly and while I can't keep you from doing your own research, practice due diligence with what you choose to share. Again, I don't think it's a crime in and of itself for Rachel to want to distance herself from her past as a medical fetish artist, so I think it's only really relevant to show the things that are clearly still influencing LO (like her love for the movie Lolita or the very clear sexualization of youthfulness). While we can try to leave the past where it is, she does still write LO with a lot of the most problematic features of her former identity, and it makes it all the more bizarre that if she is trying to distance herself from it all, then why would she stick with one of the pennames that's the most easily tied back to medical fetishism?

TL ; DR: Rachel started off online with medical fetish and gothic lolita art (at least as far back as we can trace it) and elements of that past are still present in LO today. Use that info responsibly lol

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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guplia · 2 months ago

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Hello anon! First of all, thanks for the ask! (asks? idk I received three anon asks at almost the same time, it would be weird if they didn't all come from the same person lol)

fic recommendations? read mine /hj Sure! Just note that while I've enjoyed a lot of wips, I'm only gonna recommend completed fics rn.

Okay! Here's all I can remember rn:

"Clouds" by youngmoInactive (fanfiction.net):

Original summary:

"Even though he's a hero, he's still a human. CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH. A nice look into Kai's perspective as he watches a close friend slowly lose a fight for his life."

Okay all I've gotta say on this one is that IT MADE ME CRY. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Obviously I can't speak for everyone who read this fic but I think this will hurt Lloyd lovers. I have re-read it so many times to the point where I have half the fic memorised word-by-word. This is a must-read.

(if you're on the phone it's better to add "m." To the start of the URL)

"a day in the life of a fatherless child" by holographicknife (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"lloyd has a panic attack *confetti* title suggested by my friend lol loosely based on a crack rp between friend and i Warning for: mentions of suicidal thoughts and medication, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, including tight chest, difficulty breathing, nausea, and headaches. Proceed with caution."

This is a Kai And Lloyd fic, and I love Kai And Lloyd fics! Specifically ones where they address Lloyd's trauma from Morro and where Kai comforts him. So if anyone's into this sort of stuff I'd recommend it!

"A Courageous Escape" by Lilac_Lily234 (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"In the midst of possession Morro hatred flows freely as he seeks to make Lloyd suffer for taking what he believes as his rightful title, but his cruelty know no bounds; Lloyd however refuses to give up but knows that time is running out, and in his desperation will find either salvation, or death. - I don't own Ninjago, this is an au"

Ahem... once again, Lloyd goes through pain. A season 5 canon-divergent AU, from which my favourite part was... you guessed it! Lloyd having a panic attack and being comforted! But it's still a cool story besides too, season 5 being one of the best seasons imo.

While this fic is finished, the AU is not but I think this one has a good ending on its own.

"Out for revenge" by lloyd_slander (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Harumi’s plan to resurrect Lord Garmadon failed, during her time in Kryptarium prison she heard about Morro, the master of wind, and guy who had managed to make Lloyd’s life a living hell. Wanting revenge, she doesn’t stop from anything, not even from getting Morro back from the dead. Or The duo we always wanted, but never got. Lloyd is in for a hard time. Head the tags, guys!"

Okay. This one is rated Mature for drug usage and blood (there was nothing sexual though)

So it's a Morro traumatising Lloyd fic again, but this time he's with Harumi! So it's double trouble for Lloyd! (things go VERY BAD for him >:3)

Honestly I can't say much except read the fic, the summary's right there lol.

"Revealed" by Nation_Ustria (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Lloyd Garmadon is used to being hated. That's just how his life works—if someone knows that he's the son of the warlord who attacks Ninjago City on a weekly basis, they hate his guts. That's why he's made sure that his team—the only people he's ever been happy with—don't know who he is behind the mask, with the small price attached that he doesn't know their identities, either. It's not like they know each other's, anyways, so it's not a big deal. But then they find out. The fact that Lloyd's elemental power makes him an empath doesn't help, either. Basically the premise of the movie pre-reveal with show elements and personalities, and Lloyd's Green Power is him being able to sense and be influenced by the emotions of those around him."

Okay so here's a fic without Morro! (that's cause it's in the movie-verse) Another type of fanfic I like reading is where Lloyd in tlnm keeps his identity secret from the other ninja and it ends up getting revealed (like this one.).

I've seen this fic being recommended more than once and it's one of the fics with the most kudos in the entire fandom on AO3! So 2000 others agree with me on how awesome this fic is!!!

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" by @crystaleclipse10 (CrystalEclipse on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Lloyd batted Red's hand away. “’m fine.” His head pounded, but at least it was quiet and dark. His hair tickled his nose. “What happened?” “We…didn’t get out in time,” Red whispered. “The missile exploded. We got everyone else out, though.” Lloyd relaxed and slumped forward as pure relief washed over him. They’d done it. They’d beaten Garmadon’s game. They’d freed the civilians and survived. Didn’t feel great, though. ~OR~ Lloyd and Kai get trapped under a building when it collapses, both injured. Angst and bonding ensue."

So it's another tlnm au fic! And this one has Kai And Lloyd bonding specific so I like it!!!

As I was reading this when it was still being updated I was very excited every time a new chapter would come out and my heart hurt for Lloyd each time! It IS worth the read! Just note that while tis fic is completed, the au is not.

"Officer Smith, Do You Copy?" by @hijabiwriter (same username on Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Everyone has their reasons for becoming a police officer. Maybe they were forced. Maybe the profession stood out to them. Maybe they had some experience that prompted the idea of becoming a police officer. But that's only a few reasons. There are others, too. Like for instance, one of these officers is out for revenge."

This fic is entered around Nya, who's a police officer alongside Jay, Cole and Lloyd (for some reason Zane is not in this au/fic). Anyways her dark secrets are explored in every other chapter alongside the progressing story, and of course, an explanation is given to everything in the end.

On a personal note this is the fic where I left my first comment on my Ao3 account lol (the historic moment is on chapter 13!!!)

"Too Late to Say Goodbye" by @greenamethyst16 (same username on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Kai gets stabbed and Lloyd helps him... :D"

I think length-wise this is the shortest fic on the list but that doesn't make it bad!!! Basically Lloyd downplays his injuries and there are consequences... :D

"All the ways I say "I love you"" by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off (Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Cole loves his team. They're his family and he does everything in his power to keep them safe and steady. He does his best to let them know he cares about them in every way but one. Or Seven times Cole couldn't quite say "I love you," and the one time he could."

Note: This story can only be read if you're logged in on AO3.

I like this fic because it encouraged me to remind my own irl friends how much they mean to me. In this story Cole believes that he's "the rock" of the team, and hence he doesn't show his emotions much. He's never told even one of them that he loves them and thinks that they deserve better than him. So stuff happens after that :D

Okay, I've read a lot more than this but this is all I'm gonna write about now cause I'm tired and I think this post has became too long. But if you wanna read more just check out the profiles of the writers! I haven't read everything myself but most of them have other good Ninjago fics to read!

If I've tagged you or mentioned your fic and you want it removed just let me know! I have no problem with removing it! :D

#guys if I've linked the wrong fic please tell me #anyways #asks #answered #ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago fanfiction recommendations #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #guplia rants #nya ninjago #kai ninjago #morro ninjago #Harumi ninjago #Cole ninjago

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rosepetalkitty · 2 months ago

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hi hey hello please read this its important info!!

about!!!

what is this? who am i?

hi hi hi!!! finally caved and made an nsfw/kink altblog. no i will not be linking this to my main blog even if u know me there. i doubt im ever gonna post anything thats just outright sexual here bc im acespec and not really into that stuff very much but like kink is such a fun topic so that'll come up a lot. also for the record, this is not a "men dni" page but i am generally sapphic.

call me Rose if you're subby or rosie if you want me to be ^-^ my pronouns are she/her, kit/kitty and ella (es.), i'm an 18y/o trans girl, and i've been diagnosed with adhd, autism and tourettes, among other things.

also, as of october 30th, 2024, i am a voice actress!!! my audios are posted on my reddit page!!! i don't do commissions (yet!) but im happy to take suggestions, so if you have an idea, shoot me an ask!!

and uhhh dunno what else i was gonna say. plspls send me asks i love the attention!!! i'll leave anons on until it becomes a problem~ anyways uh yeah! enjoy!

please read below the break for more information, especially if you plan on interacting with this blog!!

where you can reach me:

here, obviously, though tumblr dms are pretty bad. on the bright side this is like zero effort. you're on tumblr, im on tumblr, yay

simplex! you can click that link to add me, and if you don't have simplex it'll explain to you how to set it up, which is super duper easy. it's really really great privacy wise!! i would very much appreciate it if you send me a tumblr dm telling me your simplex display name so that i know who's who.

discord. my discord tag is the same as my url here. i do prefer simplex over discord though (mostly cuz i don't switch discord accounts on my phone bcuz it's a pain, and also bcuz of the privacy thing)

some links!

you can send me praise here!!!!

i write my stories on this neocities page now!

my cashapp is here!! it's essentially a virtual tip jar and if you appreciate my va work i would really really appreciate a tip, but please don't feel obligated to!

and here are some posts that are significant to me for one reason or another

this blog is a persona, a ranty short essay about identity, emotional freedom, masking and what it really means to know Me

my first real audio post!! oh my goddess this was so exciting!!!

on fear regarding human domestication guide, and on my hope to someday overcome it

regarding my roommate, myrrh

as of writing (2024-11-08), myrrh (murmur unless you have been given permission to use the prior! check baa pinned before interacting with bah!) and i are now comfortable interacting on tumblr. this is awesome because discussing kink as an interest is great and ba's my bestie, but i need to make this incredibly clear:

we are strictly platonic! we are not dating, we are not fwb, we do not do any kinky or sexual stuff together at all and never will. we chat about kink and sometimes make jokes about it at each other's expense, but we are friends who live together, not partners. do not insinuate otherwise, it makes both of us very uncomfortable.

An important note about dominance...

If you're exclusively a dom(me) you can skip this, otherwise I would appreciate it if you could at least skim it.

i do not like the expectation that i will be dominant at any given time, but I do enjoy showing some dominance sometimes, in some situations. I do enjoy being a brat, when I'm not already feeling really subby but want to be put in my place.

Hell, I do enjoy hypnotizing people. A lot, actually. I've been a hypnotist (in both a purely for fun way and occasionally a kink way depending on the person) for a relatively large number of people over the past several years, including in person for a handful of people, though much less so in the past year or so. I even make files now, and it's really really fun.

The problem is, I get burnt out very quickly if I force myself to be dominant when my brain isn't just doing it spontaneously. How do I know? In past relationships my partners saw me as a switch, and expected me to dominate them as much as they dominated me. I really can't do that. My dominance is as much within my control as my hyperfixations — I can make good use of it when it's there, but when it isn't there's nothing I can do to force it without causing myself lots of stress and burnout.

For that reason I'm not willing to be your domme or anyone else's. Instead of seeing me as a switch, please consider me a sub who can be dominant sometimes. I can't do it on demand, and I can't promise that I will be able to do it for any given person at any given time.

some notes for the page!

if ive tagged a post with #pull my trigger! then that means im ok with ppl playing with my brain in the notes!! otherwise, please just message me directly. im always okie with dms.

posts with #mean rosie on them have me teasing/messing with/bullying (in a /lh way) other people~ don't ask me to do this to you unless it's like a reblog responding to me doing that to you or smth. i don't usually enjoy showing dominance like that. sometimes im just the flavor of brat that likes to tease people. other times i do kinda feel a little bit dominant but. meh. even then ill pretty much always slip down into good girl mode on the spot if anyone shows any dominance towards me, usually even more so than i would normally.

posts tagged #angel rosie are ones that make me really happy~

#rosie rambles and #rosie rants go on serious/out of theme posts, with the latter being for emotionally heavy ones

#rosie speaks goes on all my audios~

plspls ask me about my triggers, my kinks, etcetc!!! i love getting told to answer questions >w<

dni list

any adult is free to view my page. minors, please leave. im serious. that said, there are certain things that will get you blocked from interacting with my page, so if your blog falls into any of these categories please kindly just look, don't touch.

agepl@y

terfs, and anyone else who doesn't think trans women are women

s!ssy, crossdressing and detrans themed pages. i have nothing against you for liking that stuff, but it makes me really uncomfortable because of some past experiences. please dni.

blank blogs, no age in bio or pinned, blogs that seem to just be spam reblogging everything, etc. sometimes this is case by case — "18+" is usually not chill, but "20s" or "30s" usually is. if you have nothing at all that's a nope. having a pfp is important, by the way.

blogs that just spam ai generated pictures. im sure youre chill, but ai pictures take the humanity out of your blog and frankly just look bad. posting one here or there on an otherwise human blog is thin ice, but i care a little less when there's other content too, as long as your other content is good.

my kinks, my limits my triggers

obviously im very very into hypnosis, especially intelligence play (aka dumbification), especially especially when there are bimbo themes involved. im also into everything on this list (in no particular order), but its definitely not exhaustive because theres things ive never tried before. please try new things on me!

light/medium bondage

pet play (as a kitty or a bunny, totes open to others but those are ones i luv)

spanking and other light pain, including light scratching/marking

being groped

praise and degradation, especially when its condescending

gentle doms (not that other styles are bad, but gentle+manipulative+condescending+possessive is my favorite)

other people picking my clothes

physical affection (headpats, scritchies, cuddles, kisses)

medical play (very specifically anesthesia, limited interest in other parts of it)

gaslighting

exhibitionism (especially when im being shown off)

behavior modification (especially clicker training!)

edging and denial

i have a voice kink for certain types of voices. generally my favorites are deep femme voices with really soft tones that get sharp to add emphasis to certain words like "drop" or "now". i also sometimes like higher softer masc voices, but deep or rough masc voices make me uncomfortable most of the time. if you want me to give you examples of hypnotists on the internet whose files i like, please send an ask or dm me.

when im in control (especially when it's about my audios!!!), i love being told how i make you feel, what you think of me, etc, so go on, feed my ego ;)

sooo yeah!! next are my soft limits — things i don't necessarily love but can tolerate in an otherwise fun context. please ask before acting on these because i would generally prefer to avoid them.

hypno audios narrated by text to speech — most of them are just grating and i can't relax with them.

"brainwashing" files that are just someone saying the same thing over and over with no induction or deepener or triggers or anything to put me under. i need to be in trance before that stuff does anything.

"hypnosis audios" that have loud music, or where the script is turned into a song. i've heard it done well maybe once or twice, i've heard it done wrong a million times.

hypnosis content as long form videos, especially when i need to read text in the video. my eyes get exhausted from staring at a screen for too long. i really really prefer audio, and text is good too, but videos longer than a couple minutes are rough.

and finally, here are my hard limits. please don't bring these things up. full stop. these are non-negotiable.

everything on my dni list

the drugs haloperidol/haldol, lorazepam/ativan and promethazine/phenergan

heavy pain

blood, knives/sharps, heavy scratching/marking

being asked/"forced" (i can and will block you if you're pushy) to send pictures or videos. audio is a hard maybe and very much depends on dysphoria at that moment and vibes. but yeah pictures and videos are a no-go.

being sent dick pics. please don't. im not into that. other pics are probably fine as long as you're chill.

extended degradation with no praise (i start having genuine self image issues past a certain point - i like being degraded, having my behavior changed, and then being praised as a reinforcement mechanism)

intox play, especially alcohol and weed. it scares me because of some past experiences. this is specifically about being intoxicated in the traditional sense (drunk/high), so like for example being sedated is something im cool with (and actually love the idea of)

feeding kink stuff

and here are some of my hypnotic triggers, in no particular order

"brain goes bye bye" melts my brain and makes it really hard to think

"control goes bye bye" takes control of my brain and my body away so that i just do as im told

"memories go bye bye" makes it really hard to remember anything for a while, which mostly just shuts my brain off. these first three are all from Miss Lilith, i love her files~ <3

"sleep" and "drop" both put me under, to varying degrees of success. might take multiple uses to really take me down deep, and really everything works better with a snap

"good girl" makes me happy and a tiny bit more obedient

"look here", "listen" and "focus" draw in my attention and make it hard to look away from/ignore whatever is being shown/said to me. they also usually make me more suggestible.

"lightning" makes me feel weak and dazed and when im like that "thunder" puts me under and gets me really floaty and fuzzy

"submit and obey" makes me obedient and super duper suggestible

i have a lot more, im just not remembering them all right now. theres probably dozens in my brain from all the files ive conditioned myself with over the years

#rosie rambles #pull my trigger!

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