#and she just went upstairs to take a nap at 9 am

[ghostickle]

I feel like I can’t complain about my roommates cause they are the only reason I have somewhere to stay right now but at the same time she keeps misgendering me and has this whole thing with pronouns especially they/them cause she had a friend that used to call her they when she’s a cis girl

[jordie-gvf]

can you do an angsty josh blurb? i’m feeling a screaming match maybe and reader leaves? idk!

josh blurb #4

warnings : angst, arguing, drunk josh, language, fighting

word count : 1.0k+

expect a part two, i loved writing this!

After the tour, Josh had been off the rails. He was going out to bars every night, coming home at 4 AM and doing it all over again.

You had been at home alone, raising Dove. Dove was your four month old, spitting image of her father. You couldn't take care of her and Josh at the same time, he needs to help you. 

He arrived home, 3 AM this time. He came upstairs and came over to your side of the bed. “C'mon Mama, wake up. I need you.” he said in your ear.

You shuffled awake and saw Josh standing over you, shirt off. “No, I'm tired.” 

“That's never stopped us before,” he said. You could smell the weed and the alcohol on him. He rubbed his hand up your bare thigh.

“I said no, Josh!” 

“Damn, what the fuck happened to you?” he questioned and walked away. He changed and got into the bed. He laid opposite you and fell asleep.

You were woken up by the sound of crying. You walked into Dove’s room and saw Josh with her. She wouldn't stop crying until you grabbed her from him. He got up and walked out of her room and said, “My girlfriend and my kid don't like me.” 

You ignored him and rocked her back to sleep.

You woke up to Josh shaking you awake. “I'm leaving, going to the studio,” he told you.

You looked at the clock and saw 9:35 AM. You kissed his cheek and let him go to work. You were making Dove’s lunch when the doorbell rang. You opened the door and saw Jake. 

“Hey Y/N! Josh here?” he asked you.

You shook your head and said, “No? He told me he was going to the studio.”

“We had the day, he's not here?”

“No, he's not here.”

Jake grabbed his phone and called Josh. “Bro, where the hell are you?” he asked Josh.

“Downtown. Nudie’s” you heard Josh say. 

“Day drinking? You don't think Y/N needs help with your child?” 

“Who are you, our mother? She can handle Dove just fine on her own.” 

Wow. You walked away, tending to your child's lunch. You put everything on a plate for her and gave her some milk. She ate her fruit and you heard Jake on the couch. He walked over to the kitchen and said, “I'm so sorry about him. I don't know what's gotten into him.” 

“Whatever it is, he needs to get his shit together.” 

You had just put Dove down for a nap when you got a call. You answered and heard, “This is a prepaid call from Joshua Kiszka, an inmate at Nashville Downtown Detention Center. To accept charges, press the pound key.”

You pressed it and heard, “Mama?” 

“Josh!? What the hell happened?”

“Arrested. Got the cops called on me. Can you come get me?” 

“Fine.” 

You grabbed the car seat and put Dove in. You put a blanket over her and made your way downtown. You carried the car seat on your arm inside. “Hi, I'm here to pick up Joshua Kiszka, please.” you said.

He came out, blood on his shirt. You turned around and walked back out to the car. You put Dove back into the car and didn't say one word to Josh.

“Y/N, I-”

“No. Do not talk to me.”

He turned his head to the window and looked out as you drove home. You pulled into the garage and grabbed your child and went upstairs. You went into her room and fed her, changed her and put her back down.

You walked back downstairs and saw Josh in the kitchen, leaning on the island, head in his hands. He heard you come down and lifted his head up. You walked over to the fridge and grabbed something to eat. 

“Can we talk, please?” he asked you.

“What could you possibly want to talk about?” 

“I wanted to say I was sorry. I'm sorry for never being here. I'm sorry for not helping with Dove. I'm sorry for coming home at 4 AM.” 

“Mhm.” you said.

“Really? I'm apologizing and that is all you have to say?”

“That's not just it, Josh! You go out, you get high, you get drunk, you come home at 4 AM and you do the same thing all over again. It's a never ending cycle! I can't keep doing this!”

“I wanted to get the hell out of here! I wanted to get away from you! And her!” he yelled out.

You stopped dead in your tracks and said, “Fine. You want to get away from us? From your child? Fine, her and I will leave.” 

“That's not how I meant it, come on. Come back here please.” he said to you as you walked up the stairs.

You walked into your room and locked the door. You grabbed your suitcase and packed as much stuff in as you can. You grabbed a tote bag and put all your electronics in there. 

You walked out of your room and went into Dove’s room. You grabbed her some clothes, diapers, socks, mittens, shoes, and all of her stuff for her hair.

You walked out and grabbed both of your bags and brought them downstairs. “Go say goodbye to your kid, if you even want to.” you said to him.

He got off the couch and ran up the stairs to his daughter’s room. You loaded everything in the car and went back into the house. You saw Josh putting her into the car seat and covering her with her favorite blanket. He put the binkie into her mouth and kissed her one last time. 

You let him carry her out to the car and put her into the base of the seat. You started the car after he closed the door. He opened the passenger door and said, “Mama, look at me.” 

You reluctantly looked at him and he said, “I am so sorry. Listen, I am going to make this right. I am! I love both of you.”

He closed the door and let you drive away. You rolled down the window before you left and said, “Hey Josh?” 

He walked up to the car and you said, “I love you Josh. I know you can get sober. I know you can. We love you. I promise you we will be back, as soon as you get clean.”

[elizabethplaid]

evening notes - aug 20, 2021

Woke up from my nap around 9:45pm, then went downstairs to get a drink. Dad was still awake, so we talked together in the kitchen for like 2 hours. Just reviewing stuff I'm working through in counseling, getting some context about childhood. Still referencing my mom, as she's a big factor with how I grew up.

No big reveals or anything, just catching up and comparing notes.

He mentioned how he's worked to regulate his emotions since his heart surgery. He physically feels things now, notices when his heart races with certain memories or triggers. He mentioned avoiding some music for awhile, right after surgery.

As we often do, we both reflected that we've been through a lot in the last year. I know the dental stuff likely influenced my current path with anxiety, but I acknowledge that dad's health scare last summer really took a toll on the both of us, in various ways.

It's been the two of us together for so long, and we have a peaceful life at home. He has hope I'll return to the library by the end of the year. I said I'd like that, but my goal is more conservative (March 2025). I need a lot of time, so I can take things and a steady pace.

I remarked that the stuff I'm working on now (body image and mom's affect on how I approach relationships) is part of the foundation of who I am, how I was made. To fix a house's foundation, it takes a lot of work to steady everything else, to clean out the rot and shore up supports, etc.

We also took note of how little I choked up, even as I mentioned tough things. (What got to me tonight were the most-recent topics in counseling.) Again, very good progress. And we also talked about tears regulating emotions and about "endorphin drop". (I drafted that post, so expect my reblob later.) =======

It's cool but very humid tonight. A fan wasn't cutting it earlier, so sleep was difficult. I turned on my AC after getting back upstairs. Moscow approves, as she has laid in front of the AC for some time now. She just moved to be closer to the fan, though still in the path of the AC's breeze. Poor thing must be very warm.

[ramblersaccount]

19

Winter break came around faster than I expected. It was now time for me to pack up the life I had created in my dorm and head back home for the holiday season. My brother-in-law, sister, niece, and my cousin’s husband had taken the trip to come get me. You know, even though I had the same amount of personal items when I got there, packing things away and getting them to fit in the car was physically ten times harder than the first time. I think I slept for most of the ride home, but I do remember waking up at some point and seeing a pro-Trump rally with Confederate flags and thinking, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming,” like I was Dory from Nemo. Other than that, the only thing I remember related to the trip was getting home and my room feeling sanitized in a way. The weirdest emptiest feeling to know that a place is yours but lacks anything you now consider “you.” I’m gonna be honest; from November straight till the end of April is a blur to me now, and that’s saying a lot because my birthday is in April. However, the months that followed are forever ingrained in my head.

On Sunday, the 9th of May 2021, I woke up extra early to make breakfast and buy flowers for our dining table. With the help of my sister, I set the table, put the flowers in a nice clear vase, and invited my mother to come downstairs and have breakfast. She didn’t eat all that much and said she wasn’t feeling well, so she went upstairs to take a nap. My mother has type 2 diabetes, so this wasn’t an abnormal experience. She had been sleeping for a while when I went upstairs to check on her. She had gotten up and was just sitting there. She said she had a weird feeling on the left side, and I noticed her face was a little droopy. I told her we should go to the hospital, but she refused, insisting that she just needed more sleep. One thing to be said about my mother: she’s incredibly stubborn. No matter how much you push her and try to convince her, she won't do anything she doesn't want to do. So, I enlisted my sister to try to convince her, and still, she refused to go. My mother didn’t like hospitals; she hated being continuously poked and prodded. About an hour or so passed, and then she started crying. A sort of soft, silent, sad cry, and I could see the fear in her eyes. She couldn't feel her left leg. That's when my sister and I put our feet down. We told my dad to start the car and helped her get in. I sat in the emergency waiting area with her for about 30 minutes. Then, once they brought her inside the actual emergency room, we sat there, her laying on the bed, and me sitting at the edge, talking to try and keep her mind off things. Again we waited.

5:01 pm: They keep referring to it as a stroke, but there's no confirmation yet. She just finished her CAT scan, and the nurse said we’ll have to wait a maximum of an hour for that.

5:22 pm: The doctors are asking her why she waited so long to come in; there was a 3-hour window they could've reversed the effects. I feel guilt creep up my throat.

5:26 pm: She can't move her left arm and leg, but the doctor says her shoulder and face are pretty strong.

5:38 pm: Confirmed: she had a stroke, and they're gonna transfer her to a different hospital.

5:47 pm: She’s worried about what she wants to do, like gardening, and not worried about her health.

9:50 pm: We’ve been in the emergency room of the second hospital for about 3 hours, nothing is happening.

9:56 pm: I give my mom some mints to hold on to in case her sugar drops, and they send me to the visitor's waiting room.

12:01 am Monday, May 10th, 2021: They give me a number to call to find out the room my mom will be in, and I leave the hospital to go home.

12:38 am: I get home.

The aftermath of my mother's stroke was challenging for us all. Daily visits, therapy, and her monoplegic state dominated our lives. Two years later, her left arm still bears the impact, her fingers constantly rolled into a fist. She attends therapy weekly, frustrated but resilient. This period took a toll on me too. A job became necessary, and with my mother's return, my responsibilities multiplied, affecting my grades. Yet, amidst the challenges, I found gratitude. I met the man who would become my boyfriend and discovered new life goals. The journey post-stroke was rocky, but witnessing my mother's strength and resilience was inspiring. Despite the hurdles, that year held moments of personal growth and new beginnings.

[swforester]

The Lizzie Borden “murder house” and the graves of Lizzie Andrew Borden, her father Andrew and her sister Emma. On the morning of August 4th, 1892 Abby Durfee Gray went upstairs to make the beds. She was said to be facing her killer when she was hit by the first blow from an axe, just above the ear. She turned and fell down on her face, after which the killer delivered 17 more blows to the back of her head, killing her. It was estimated to be between 9:30 and 10 AM when this occurred. Meanwhile Andrew came home from his morning walk around 10:30 and decided to take a nap on the sofa. Lizzie said she helped take off her boots and put his slippers on. A short time later Lizzie was calling out to Miss Sullivan (the maid) in her room saying “come quick, someone has killed father.” He had been struct 10 or 11 times with a hatchet like weapon.

Detectives came of course but they did not search Lizzie’s room at first because she was “upset.” There are so many fascinating details about these terrible murders; I will just give you a few of the notable ones. Just before the murders Andrew had gone into the barn and killed all the pigeons living there fearing it would attract children wanting to hunt them. He did it with a hatchet. Interesting that Lizzie had just finished building a roast for those very pigeons. He was know for his frugality and though he was one of the wealthiest men in Fall River, their house did not have indoor plumbing. Lizzie did not have a good relationship with her stepmother Abby whom she believed had married her father for his money. She called her “Mrs. Borden” when she spoke to her. Also, while she was being questioned, she was given morphine because she was so upset. Her answers could not have been very coherent. It is curious that she said she had taken off her father’s shoes off yet they were still on when he was murdered. She was charged, put on trial but found innocent. This story became famous throughout the world earning both Lizzie and the town of Fall River a permanent notoriety. Most people believed she was guilty up until her death in 1927 due to Pneumonia. Her sister Emma would die a short time later. 

Editor’s note: This short sketch of these events are by no means complete; I urge everyone to research this lurid story for themselves.

Today you can visit the original house, now a bed and breakfast, and you can also take a tour for $29. There’s a fun gift shop in the back. You can see her grave at Oak Grove Cemetery.  Here’s a nursery rhyme that was made up about this legendary crime, perhaps from Mother Goose herself:

“Lizzie Borden took an axe

nd gave her mother 40 whacks

When she saw what she had done

she gave her father 41

Andrew Borden is now dead

Lizzie hit him on the head

Up in Heaven he will sing

on the gallows she will swing”  

The pictures- Top: the murder house, 2: Lizzie Borden, 3:the grave of Andrew Johnson Borden, 4: the grave of Lizzie Andrew Borden, 5: the grave of Emma Lenore Borden, 6: the Borden monument, 7: Oak Grove Cemetery, 8: the body of Abby Durfee Gray, 9: the body of Andrew Johnson Borden (notice that his shoes are still on)

Fall River MA  3/26/22

[leossmoonn]

One Day at A Time

masterlist

pairing - lip gallagher x fem!reader

type - angst, fluff

note / request - “Hi, I love your Shameless imagines! And I was wondering if you could write something for Lip Gallagher x Reader having a baby and struggling with their new life ❤️” alright so i named the baby fred bc thats lip’s baby’s name already lol also you and lip live in the house that lip wanted to buy for tammy. enjoy!

summary - you and lip struggle to raise a baby and survive 

warning / includes - language, fighting, alcohol, smoking, but fluffy ending

————

*gif isn’t mine*

“Lip!” You shouted. 

Your boyfriend ran into the room frantically. “What’s wrong?” 

“I need you to get me more baby wipes. Freddy took a big shit,” you instructed. 

Lip nodded, going to the table where you kept the baby wipes. He gave you the whole packet only for you to yell at him.

“Hand me them! I have to hold Freddy down so we doesn’t roll off,” you said.

“Sorry, Jesus,” Lip muttered, handing you baby wipes each time you put your hand out. 

You successfully cleaned your baby’s bottom and but on a new, fresh diaper. You picked Freddy and went downstairs with him. You set Freddy down in his high-chair, going over to the cabinet to get Freddy’s baby food. 

“Are you um, are you going into work today?” Lip asked.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I am,” Lip said. 

You frowned, turning around and putting a hand on your hip. “You can’t. Someone has to watch Freddy.”

“Debbie can watch Freddy,” Lip said. 

You scoffed, “She's never here. And before you say V and Kev, they’ve already helped us enough the past few months. They’re busy with their own kids.”

“Well, I need to go into work. We need the money,” Lip said. 

“Yeah, and I need to go to work or I’m gonna get fired!” You exclaimed. You began feeding Freddy, your mood lightening a little once you saw the little guy’s face. 

“What about working tomorrow? I thought that was our schedule,” Lip asked. 

“It was, but one, I’m well overdue on maternity leave and two, my boss doesn’t care about my personal life. She doesn’t care that we are struggling to raise a child,” you explained. 

Lip opened his mouth to suggest something, but nothing came out. He looked at you helplessly. 

“Here, why don’t you work for a few hours and I’ll watch Freddy in the morning, then you come back home at lunch and I’ll go and work for the afternoon,” you said. 

Lip nodded. “Yeah, that works.”

“Alright, good,” you said. You turned your attention back to the baby, feeding him the rest of his breakfast. Meanwhile, Lip went to shower and get ready to go to work. He came downstairs, coming over to bid you and Freddy goodbye. 

“I’ll see you later. I love you,” Lip said, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

Even though you were mad at him earlier, you melted into his arms immediately. You hugged him back tightly, burying your head in the crook of his neck. 

“Hm, I love you, too,” you said, breathing in his scent. 

Lip couldn’t help but smile at your actions. He pulled away after a few moments, walking over to Freddy. 

“I love you, too, buddy,” Lip cooed, kissing Freddy on the cheek, making the baby giggle. 

You smiled at the scene, enjoying seeing Lip interact with Freddy. 

“Bye,” Lip called out before leaving. 

“Bye!” You exclaimed, watching him leave. 

You let out a long sigh, leaning back against the fridge. You looked at Freddy, who was clapping his hands on his high-chair table. You laughed a little.

“You’re so silly,” you said, going over to him and picking him up. 

“Do you want to go to the store with me?” You talked to Freddy, bouncing him up and down while walking across the room. 

Freddy make a little squeak and you smiled. “Yeah, I know you want go to the store with me. I’m gonna shower and get ready, you stay in the crib, okay? I’ll be out in 10 minutes,” you said, going up to the nursery and setting Freddy down  gently. 

You went into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing your teeth. You went back in your room and got dressed into a pair of mom jeans, a dark-purple, buttoned-up shirt and put a grey sweater over it, taking the collar of your shirt and folding it on the collar of your sweater. You then returned to Freddy’s room. You saw him on his back, sucking in his thumb. You smiled and picked him up, quietly going down the stairs. You set him in his high-chair again, getting your coat, purse, and your shoes. You also got Freddy’s little coat and hat to keep him warm in the cold winter of Chicago. 

You went out to your car, buckling Freddy into his carseat. You then went to the supermarket, putting Freddy in the front of the cart. You picked out fruit, vegetables, and salad mix. You got 2 gallons of milk, new coffee creamer, and cereal. You bought a few warm-up dinner packs and hamburger meat, going to the freezer isle and getting ice cream. You then went to the snack isle. 

“What should we get, Freddy?” You asked, looking at the pop tarts. 

Freddy pointed to the birthday cake-flavoured pop tarts. 

“Good choice, baby,” you smiled, grabbing the pop tarts. You then grabbed a few packs of chips and gum, going over to check out.

“Cute baby,” the girl at the register said. 

You looked up from putting the groceries on the table. You looked at her name tag and smiled. 

“Thank you, Stacy,” you said. “How old is he?” Stacy asked. 

“Almost 2 months,” you said. 

“Awe, so cute. I just found out I’m pregnant,” Stacy said. 

“Oh, really. Congrats,” you smiled. “Yeah, my boyfriend and I are happy,” Stacy smiled, putting her hand on her stomach. 

She rang your groceries up. “It’ll be $103.98.”

You nodded and took your card out and a few coupons you and Lip had collected in the past month. 

“Alright, with these coupons, your total is $80.56,” Stacey said.

“Great,” you smiled. You paid with your card, gathering the grocery bags. 

“Have a good day!” Stacy smiled. 

“Thank you, you too. Congrats again with the baby,” you gave her a kind smile. 

She thanked you as you walked out. You loaded the groceries into the car and put Freddy back in his carseat. You then drove back home, putting away the groceries while Freddy watched you in his high-chair. 

“Are you tired, baby? I’m tired,” you yawned. Freddy yawned right after you, making you chuckle. 

“Why don’t you take a nap and let Mommy clean the house, okay? It’s a fucking mess,” you muttered the curse words, looking around the house. Clothes and toys were everywhere. Plates were stacked in the sink and on the coffee table. The house needed to be vacuumed and wiped down very badly

You put Freddy down in his crib, turning on the baby monitor. You changed into a tank top and shorts and put your hair in a ponytail, going back downstairs to clean. 

You started with the dishes, washing and drying them off, putting them back in their cupboards. You then wiped down the kitchen counter, stove top, kitchen table, and coffee table. Next you decided to clean up all of the baby stuff that was on the floor. You put Freddy’s toys in the play bins you and Lip had bought and put Freddy’s clothes in the washing machine. You then vacuumed the living room carpet and swept the kitchen tiles, making yourself another cup of coffee. You were done in an hour and a half, taking a look at your work, smiling in satisfaction. Your house hadn’t been this clean since you and Lip had bought it. 

It was lunch time and you knew Lip would be coming home soon. You decided to make you and him lunch. You made chilli and salad, knowing that it would last you two for a few days. You changed back into your work uniform before grabbing yourself a bowl and sitting down, eating your lunch quickly before you had to go to work. 

15 minutes later, Lip had walked through the door. You got up to greet him. 

“Hey, babe. This smells good, what did you make?” Lip asked.  “Chilli and salad for lunch. You can have some,” you said. 

“Ah, nice,” Lip said. He gave you a kiss on the cheek, going over to the kitchen.  You frowned. He usually wasn’t this detached.

“How was work?” You asked. 

“Good,” Lip said, grabbing himself a bowl of chilli. “How was your day?”

“Good,” you said. “ I um… I cleaned the house and got groceries.”

“Oh, nice,” Lip said, sitting down. 

"Are you okay?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” Lip said. 

“Um, okay,” you said. “Well, Freddy is upstairs taking a nap. He’s been asleep for about two hours, so he will probably wake up soon. The baby monitor is here. When he wakes up can you give him a bath? He’s a little stinky.”

“Sure,” Lip nodded. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to figure out why he was acting so off. 

“I gotta go to work. I'll see you later, okay?” You said. 

“Okay. Have fun,” Lip said.

You slammed the front door shut and walked to your car, letting out a long sigh. You wanted to ask why Lip was acting so distant, but you knew you had to go to work. You worked as a waitress at a local diner. You had been working there for the past 3 years. You hoped to be moving jobs to what you really wanted to do, which was cosmetics, but having a baby set you back a little. You were so thankful for Freddy, though, you didn’t regret having him one bit. It just sucked a lot. But you were good at your job. you were friendly to customers and co-workers, got the most tips, and never played around. You were your boss’s best waitress, despite you always having to change your shifts. 

You worked from 1 pm to 9, going back home tired, but happy you at least got a shift in. You drove home, looking forward to seeing Lip and Freddy, but once you got in the door, your excitement immediately diminished. 

Freddy was in his play pen and the person who was watching him wasn’t Lip. It was Carl. 

“Um, hey, Carl,” you frowned, setting your coat in the closet. 

Carl turned to you, a nervous smile on his face. “Hey, Y/n. How’re you?”

“Good, thanks. Where is Lip?” You asked, putting your hands on your hips. 

“He went out,” Carl answered. 

“To where?” You asked, your temper rising. “Um…. to the Alibi,” Carl said nervously. 

Your eyes blew wide. “What?! He went to the Alibi and left you to take care of our baby? No offense, Carl.”

“None taken,” Carl shrugged. 

“I…” you started to say. You put your fingers on your temples, rubbing in circles to try and ease the headache you were beginning to have. You were able to calm down a little. 

“Thank you for taking care of Freddy,” you said to Carl. 

“No problem. I love the little guy,” Carl smiled. 

You smiled back, grabbing your purse. “Here, let me pay you for watching him.”

“I would usually say yes to money, but I’ll say no this time. I like spending time with Freddy, he's my nephew, I like watching him,” Carl shrugged.

“Are you sure?” You asked, holding a 20 dollar bill. 

“Yeah, I am,” Carl smiled kindly. 

“Alright. Thank you. I’m going to find Lip. Do you mind staying until I come back?” You asked. 

“Nope. Can I have some of the chilli?” Carl asked. 

“Yeah, of course. Do you know how to change diapers and feed Freddy?” You asked. 

“Yeah, of course. I took care of Liam and Franny for Debbie sometimes,” Carl said. 

“Right, of course,” you chuckled. “Thanks, again. I’ll see you later.”

“See you,” Carl waved. 

You didn’t bother grabbing your coat, rushing out of the house to find Lip. You drove to the Alibi, parking haphazardly. You went in, anger surging through you as you saw Lip smoking and drinking his liver and lungs out. He was talking with Kermit and Tommy. 

“Lip!” You screamed, the whole room turning going quiet. 

“Oh, hey, Y/n!” Kev smiled. 

“Hey, Kev. Can I see Lip for a second?” You asked, clenching your jaw. 

Lip looked at you, his eyes dropping. “Hey, baby.” He walked up to you, a stoned smile on his face. 

You grabbed his hand, yanking him out to the alley behind the Alibi. 

“What's up?” Lip asked.

“You! That’s what’s up!” You exclaimed. 

“What do you mean?” Lip asked. 

“You fucking left Freddy alone!” You shouted. “I left him with Carl. He’s fine,” Lip shrugged. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t call me to say you were going to leave Freddy!” 

Lip glared at you. “I don’t need to call you. He’s my son.”

“He’s my son, too! I’m his mother. I need to know who he is with! What if Carl brought over Kelly and they started having sex on the couch where Freddy could see, huh? I don’t fucking want that!” 

Lip chuckled. “They wouldn’t do that. Carl and Kelly are broken up or whatever.”

You groaned. “That’s not the point! I’m tired and super stressed out. You could have let me know!” 

“I’m tired and stressed out, too!” Lip exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah, I bet you are. Getting fucking drunk and stoned,” you laughed sourly. 

“I’m not drunk, I had 2 sips of beer, and I worked!” Lip exclaimed. 

“Yeah? Well I worked, too! I worked until 9 at night. I should be home by then! And I was the one who cleaned the house and did the dishes and got the groceries, which by the way, you are fucking welcome!” You shouted. 

“I never asked you to do that,” Lip said. 

“i know, but I did it because we needed it. All I wanted was a thank you!” “Well I was tired and hungry when I got home,” Lip shrugged. 

You glared at him, tears clouding your vision. “You’re so full of shit, Lip. So full of fucking shit!” You screamed, pushing him back. He stumbled backwards and hit the brick wall gently. 

“What the fuck, Y/n?!” Lip yelled. 

“Don’t do that! You don’t have the right to question me!” You screamed back. 

Lip opened his mouth to yell back, but Veronica and Kevin came out. 

“Hey, you two stop it!” Veronica yelled. 

“Yeah, what’s going on?” Kevin asked. 

“She is yelling at me!” Lip pointed to you. 

“Yeah, cause you’re a fucking asshole!” You screamed, your voice hoarse and tears running down your face. 

“Oh, no,” Veronica muttered. She went over to you, wrapping her arms around you gently. “Let’s go inside and get you some tea, okay?”

You started to sob, leaning in to Veronica. Lip looked at you, his heart breaking at the sight of you so upset.  

“Kev, you take Lip home and get him cleaned up, okay? Make sure Freddy is fed and changed and put to bed, too,” Veronica instructed. 

Kevin nodded, putting his arm around Lip and went to Lip’s car. Veronica walked you inside, taking you to the back of the bar. She got you a beer and a hot cup of tea, placing them in front of you. 

“T-Thanks,” you sniffled. 

“Talk to me, baby,” Veronica said, sitting down next to you. 

“Lip left Freddy home alone with Carl. I’ve been so busy and tired today. I cleaned the whole house, got the groceries. I worked for fucking 8 hours. I just wanted a little ‘thank you’ from Lip. That’s all I wanted,” you cried. “God, I’m such a fucking crybaby.”

Veronica put her hand on your arm comfortingly. “No, honey, you’re not. I understand, don’t worry, and Lip should, too. Maybe you should calm down a little and then go back home and talk to him. Really talk, no shouting and pushing.”

You took a big sip of your beer and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

Veronica smiled. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“No, I’m fine,” you said. 

“You sure? We have some chocolate chip cookies,” Veronica smiled. 

“Hm, okay. I'll have a few,” you smiled. 

“Great!” Veronica squealed. She went away for a few moments, coming back with a container full of cookies. 

You sat and talked with Veronica for two hours. You soon were about to pass out and decided to drive you and Veronica home since Kevin had taken their car. 

“Thanks for the fun night, V,” you smiled at Veronica as you dropped her back to her house. 

“No problem! Drive home safe! Call if you need anything,” Veronica said. 

“Will do,” you said and drove back home, which was thankfully only 5 minutes away. 

You got home, going in and seeing the living room empty. You took off your shoes, groaning in relief as your heels had been aching the whole day. You trudged up the stairs and into your bedroom. You heard the shower going but didn’t bother to go and see Lip. 

You changed out of your work clothes and into a pair of shorts and a tank top. You put your hair in a messy bun, flinging yourself on your bed. 

Lip came into the room with Freddy a few moments later. You noticed his presence.

“What?” You snapped. 

“I just… do you want Freddy and I to lay down with you?” Lip asked. 

You looked to them, seeing Freddy smiling at you. You couldn’t help but smile back. “Sure.”

You scooted over, Lip setting Freddy down next to you and climbing into bed with you. You gave Freddy a big kiss. 

“Hi, baby. I’ve missed you,” you cooed. 

Freddy chortled, clapping his hands. You giggled with the baby, ignoring Lip until he spoke. 

“So uh… how was your day?” Lip asked nervously. 

“Fine. How was yours?” You asked, not looking at him. 

“Mine was uh… good,” Lip said. 

“Good,” you said shortly. 

There was an awkward silence between you two before Lip spoke again. 

“I wanted to apologise for my actions today,” Lip started to say. 

This was the first time you felt like looking at him. You stared in his blue eyes, waiting for his apology. 

“I’m sorry about ignoring the work you did around the house and I’m sorry for not letting you know I was having Carl take care of Freddy. And I’m sorry for going to the Alibi and getting stoned. I really appreciate you cleaning the house. It really needed to be cleaned and to keep it clean, I promise to try and not leave dishes out and pick up Freddy’s toys,” Lip said. 

You smiled at his apology, scooting up on the bed so you could put your forehead on his without crushing Freddy. 

“Thank you. And the house being messy isn’t totally your fault. I need to learn to clean up after myself more, too,” you said. 

Lip chuckled, “That’s something we can both work on then.”

“Totally,” you smiled. 

“I’m also sorry for yelling at you at the Alibi. I’ve just been so stressed with work and Freddy. I’ve never had to take care of a baby that was my own before. I’ve always had help from Fiona and Ian,” Lip said. 

You put your hand on his cheek. “I know, baby. This is all new for me, too. And I’m sorry for yelling at you, too, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s alright. I kinda did,” Lip chuckled. 

You rolled your eyes with a smile “Well anyways, we’ll get through this together, okay? I love you. So, so, so much. And I love Freddy, probably a little too much,” you joked. “Let’s just take this one day at a time okay?”

Lip nodded and pressed his lips against yours softly. You kissed him back before pulling away, making sure Freddy was okay. 

Lip smiled. “I love you, too, you know.”

You looked back up to Lip with a big smile. “Yeah, I know.”

————

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[k3rm1e]

heyo!! i was wondering if you would mind writing hc’s for a reader who just had a major accomplishment but their parents don’t really congratulate them or anything, and then philza celebrates with them instead and tells reader how proud he is. i kinda want some dadza comfort rn :’) anyway, thank you sm!! have a great day <3

accomplishments

heyo!! i was wondering if you would mind writing hc’s for a reader who just had a major accomplishment but their parents don’t really congratulate them or anything, and then philza celebrates with them instead and tells reader how proud he is. i kinda want some dadza comfort rn :’) anyway, thank you sm!! have a great day <3

hello anon! i’m sorry i took a while to answer this. i went a bit off track with this and got A LOT more angsty, so i’m really sorry about that. If you want me to make a much more fluffier or mellowed-out version, i’d be happy to. please, read the trigger warnings before reading this.

i don’t plan on writing more angst-y things like this, especially not this angsty, so don’t worry. once again, please, if you would like me to rewrite this into a less emotional version i’d be happy to

cw: swearing

tw: talk of god and the church, slight manipulation, repetition of words

accomplishments:

  holy shit. you were in disbelief. a state of shock. one million twitch followers. one. million. followers. you were silent. shock can have many effects on a person. some scream and laugh out of joy, or a misplaced sense of mania. others cry, because they cannot handle it. some remain confused, because their brains are unable to conceptualize the event. you were silent.

  what should you do? would a “thank you” tweet be good enough or would it come off as insincere? should you wait to stream? or would that make people feel you didn’t care because you took so long? through the anxiety you could feel the true realization that you now had one million followers. like a truck, you were hit with the most excited feeling ever. getting up, you jumped around your room. you spun and jumped and cheered and whooped and yelled and smiled and danced and were overflowing with joy, with the acknowledgement that you had done it, you had really fucking done it. 

  opening the window above your desk, without a single fuck, you screamed. “WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!” let’s just hope your neighbors don’t wake up.

  you stayed up all night, celebrating. tweeting out a thank you, you received congratulations from your fans and friends while you talked with the people in your discord vcs.

  in the morning, your mother and father had woken up. with a newfound determination, you ran downstairs. streaming was your passion and you wanted to tell the world what you had done. but, because of limitations, your mother was your metaphorical world.

  “mom! mom! mom! mother, mother, mumther!!” you shouted, dashing down the stairs, tripping over your feet. stupid wood flooring and slidy socks.

  from your place at the bottom of the stairs, you heard her sigh, “yes, sweetie?”

  you bounded over to her, setting your arms on the kitchen counter. from the hallway you could see your dad, who was sitting on the couch drinking his sunday morning coffee. “mom! guess what?” without giving her time to respond, you shouted, “i hit one million follows on twitch! one freaking million!”.

  your mother didn’t seem as enthusiastic as you. “is that why you were causing such a ruckus last night? and, watch your mouth, even though ‘freaking’ isn’t a ‘true’ curse, i don’t want you swearing. especially not on the lord’s day. i couldn’t fathom going to church everyday, only to allow you to have a mouth like that.” she continued to stare at her work papers.

  “oh, uh, okay mother. dad? did you hear me? i hit one million on twitch.” you awkwardly turned your head over to your father.

  “she’s right, you know that, don’t you sweetie?” your father stood up, and made his way into the kitchen. “language like that, it’s shameful. surely, we don’t need you to have a private session with father paulson, do we?” your dad stood next to your mother, rubbing her back as he stared at you.

  “no, no, of course not. um, i’m gonna go upstairs now.” you turned around, wishing you could simply disappear.

  “without breakfast? are you truly that upset with us? we can’t have you ending up like those people, committing sinful acts and going to hell. god would never forgive you. we’re already taking a risk allowing you to stream, putting yourself out there.”

  both your mother and father stared at you. your blood felt like ice in your veins. the white walls of your house seemed so much brighter, yet duller at the same time. everything felt a white-pure-pink-orange. your breathing got uneasy. choppy. in, out, out, in, in, in, out, in, in, out, out for different increments of time. 5, 3, 2, 7, 10, 9, 6, 4, 1, 6, 8, seconds, over and over and over.

  “we just wanna protect you, dear. we love you, don’t you get that?” your mother stared at you.

  you felt like a scene in those movies. the ones that directly cater to teens who thought their lives were shit when in reality they just hadn’t grown up enough to make sense of something yet. were you one of those teens? or is this actually wrong. you don’t think it is, but you don’t talk to others about this. family matters stay in the family was a common phrase repeated in your household. the church was family, they could know. your mother and father, they could know. others, they must not know, never know.

  “of course, mother, father.” you wanted to force yourself to speak, but syllables were incapable of getting past your lips. your mouth was full of peanut butter from the sandwiches served in your elementary school cafeteria. but, the partly frozen chocolate milk always washed it down. “of course. i love you guys too. love you.” you smiled, a disgusting smile that felt violating to exist on your face, violating, violating, violating.

  you dashed up the stairs, to your room, up, up, up. running in, you wanted to slam the door, scream out the window, puch your pillow, smash your pc, cry, whatever you could do to get out your emotions. but instead, you lightly shut your door and slowly walked over to your desk chair to see who was online. you would go live later. it was only 5 AM, after all. they could wait. at least, you hoped they could.

  opening discord, just to see what everyone was doing, you saw philza minecraft was online. you went over and messaged him, ‘phil. philza. philza minecraft. vc please?’ in response, you received a short, ‘sure m8, gimme a minute’ you waited, until you heard the noise confirming he had joined.

  “good morning phil.” your energy from before had receded back into the confines of your chest. the prior excitement was gone and replaced with a feeling of fatigue.

  “morning mate, how are you? congrats on the one mill!” phil sounded excited, happy for you. you smiled, chuckling a bit.

  “i’m alright man, just tired. how are you? and, thanks for the congrats.” you smiled, feeling the fatigue set in.

  “i’m good. but you, you don’t sound very good. couldn’t sleep, could ya’? that was how i was when i hit one mill. way too excited to sleep.”

  “yeah. yeah, i’m just tired.” you were getting a bit too tired to talk. the day had barely started, and yet the full-body emotional exhaustion had set.

  “‘just tired’? the hell happened kid?” phil’s voice sounded concerned. fuck. the last thing you wanted to do was worry him. he had his own life and you had already caused enough trouble today.

  “it’s nothing big phil, seriously. just my parents.” there, a slight bit of information. family matters still within the family, just a few words.

  “they being shitbirds? or are you lying, and something big did happen?” he was being inquisitive, which was dangerous. questions were dangerous.

  “no, why would i lie?” his inquisitiveness would continue, you knew. so you spilled the metaphorical beans. “they just, just weren’t as supportive as i’d wished they were when i told them. i was really psyched, y’know? and them, just sort of, not giving a shit? i don’t know man, it just feels bad.”

  “i get you. it’s shit, when people don’t care about your accomplishments. my parents never really saw streaming as a true profession in the beginning, which led to shit like you describing. i promise it gets better though, even if it feels like shit now. and, for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.”

  “it’s fine phil, you don’t need to try to make me feel better. i’m okay, seriously.” you didn’t need or want his pity. accepting it would feel patronizing.

  “no, you need to understand that i’m not fucking around. one million is a big fuckin’ thing, especially for you who hasn’t been streaming all that long to achieve. it’s fucking amazing, mate. be proud of yourself, for christ’s sake.” his fake anger chimed through your headphones. even though you were being berated, you still felt better.

  “thank you, phil. i needed that.”

  “your welcome, mate. and look, anytime your parents are being shit, don’t try to hold it all in. call me, or wil, or someone, okay? don’t hold that shit in.”

  you fake sighed, just to piss him off. “okayyyyyy….”

  “good. now, go take a nap or some shit. i love you, kid.”

  “love you too, dadza.” this time, your words didn’t feel forced. the smile on your face wasn’t violating, but an invitation to better times. it would be alright. okay.

[kirschteinsj]

Pinky Promises

Nanami x fem! reader

Warnings: nothing too much! maybe language but overall just a bunch of fluff and lovey dovey stuff 

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Domestic Nanami and reader, just thinking about how much they love each other. sappy and cute stuff.

A/N: Hi! ^_^ Second time posting, I’ve had this one shot saved for a bit now! finally posting it lolz. I've noticed a lot of people have written domestic Nanami pics or drawn art, very glad society as a whole has this perception of him. it truly heals the soul I think. anyway, I hope u like this and sorry if there’s any grammar errors I wasnt able to catch U_U im thinking of doing a hc post next.... unsure hm, we’ll see ^_^!!

“I’m hooooome.” He says loudly as he steps through the apartment door, setting his briefcase down and taking off his beige coat. Putting down the grand kitchen knife she was using to chop up spinach, she rushed to the door with a smile and engulfed the tall blonde into a tight hug, saying hello. She took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of his cologne, the smell of something sour and musty soon taking over. Her face scrunched up and she let out a giggle.

“Oh god, Nanami, you stink, what did you go against today?”

“Nothing too bad. Just a grade 3,” He sighed “A smelly grade 3.” He sounded disappointed, probably because he knew he stunk too. Though the smell was horrendous, she still remained in his arms and he still held on just as tight.

“Are you tired? I was thinking of making dinner with you tonight but if you’re too tired I can-”

“No no. I’m fine. Just let me wash up and I’ll help out.”

“You sure?” She asked looking up towards him, questioning once more to reassure. He looked down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m sure, dear.”

While he showers upstairs, she gets back to readying the ingredients so they could begin cooking their masterpiece as soon as possible. Tonight she had chosen chicken alfredo with a tossed salad; One could say it was her favourite, but saying that would imply that she would eat it when cooked and served by whomever. But to her, she would only eat it when it was him who had made it for her.

Y/n adored him. He adored her. To her, he was her light. She could simply not imagine life without him, not after he had come in and changed her in such a way. She never in a million years would have thought to be so in love with someone. To have known someone who cared enough to hear all about her day or listen to all her tangents, whether they made sense or not. Who listened to her talk forever about anything just so he could see the faint glow of passion in her eyes. Someone who remembered the small details in regards to the things she loved and the things she despised; Like how she hated the feeling of peanut butter on her fingers and how she absolutely admired the scent of fresh pages in a new book. Sometimes, she felt undeserving of him.

He admired her like no other. Never did he believe he’d be capable of opening up to anyone in such a way, at least not until she walked into his life. He could write a million lists, all full of everything he loved about her. The way she smiled cheekily at him after a witty remark, how she'd give every hug as if it was the last, the way she was oh so patient with him. It took him time to become vulnerable in the slightest, he just didn’t know how to do so without burdening her. She knew his job was hard, he’d told her. But rather than running away like he expected, she stayed with him right by his side. She refused to leave him over that. If anything, it made her want to stay more since she felt the need to be there for him. It felt like a punch to the gut but a good one. “So, is this love?” He had asked himself then. Nanami had someone who brought out the much more joyful side to him. At the end of the day, he knew he’d walk through the front door only to see her, arms wide open and with a big smile offering a cozy hug. She was his home. Sometimes, he felt undeserving of her.

Putting the final piece of broccoli into the container, she tidies any clutter and went back to their shared bedroom. Sinking into the bed and falling on it with a plush thump, she lets out a deep sigh mixed with some sort of a groan. She herself was exhausted from work too to say the least. She didn’t deal with curses or anything like that, but she did teach a class of 9 year olds which one could consider just as frustrating. Yawning, she checks her phone to read the time: 6:15 PM. Nanami hadn’t been in the shower for too long, a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Quickly, she settled for a little 30 minute nap. That way, she could get up soon enough to help him out in the kitchen and not abandon him to do everything on his own. She turns her phone off and slowly, her eyes shut.

…

Y/n slowly opens her eyes and notices a grey throw blanket placed on her, something that she doesn’t recall going to bed with earlier. “Must’ve been Nanami.” Grabbing her phone, she turns the screen on, wincing at the incredible blue light piercing into her skull. “Fuck.” she mumbles. Once her eyes adjust, she glances back at the screen for the time: 7:30.

“FUCK,” she says, voice croaking “I overslept.” With the speed of light, she leaves bed and runs down the hall to the bathroom to freshen up. She soon makes her way over to the kitchen silently, slightly ashamed and guilty. Y/n mumbles a whine with a frown, “He’s probably done making things now. I could have helped.”

The kitchen is filled with the delicate scents of sauces, cheese and herbs. She watches him from the door frame, admiring her boyfriend. He stood in front of the stove mixing at the sauce for the alfredo, which scent alone made her mouth water. Nanami seems to be in his own world, as he stands humming to himself softly, stirring the pot of sauce and adding in the broccoli and spinach, not seeming to notice y/n. With a final stir, he carefully sets the lid and turns to rinse his hands. Her gaze sits upon his figure, how his grey oversized shirt slightly clings to his shoulders and loosens as it goes down his body. Looking down, she noticed the bright red christmas pyjamas he had on, the ones with adorable little reindeers all over them. Grinning, she remembers how she had bought those for him. She purchased a matching set for the two of them and insisted on wearing them all day on Christmas last year. Nanami had responded to the idea with a stern “No” which left y/n in shambles. She didn’t expect him to agree, but hey, a girl can dream. However, on Christmas day, lo and behold, she had woken up to find Nanami sitting on the couch, watching the news with his reindeer PJs on. Immediately, she had attacked him with hugs and kisses and all Nanami did was sit there and accept them, secretly loving it the whole time.

A deep voice throws her out of her thoughts. “You know, it’s rude to stare, right?”

Y/n chuckles quietly and makes her way over, wrapping her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back.

“I like to stare at you, you’re cute,” she breathes in his scent once again, “ah, you smell so much better now. Like the nami I know.”

“I am not cute. I am a grown man.”

“C’mon, you can’t possibly be saying that right now. Not while you’re wearing these pants.” She coos, gently patting his butt. He goes silent, refusing to rebuttal knowing that he’s lost. He leans against the counter, his front facing her. Though he didn’t say anything, y/n sees this as an open invite to his arms. The rope of his arms finds her waist this time, her arms in an embrace around his neck.

“Whatever, tell me, how was your day, hm?” He posed, changing the subject.

“Same old, yenno. The kids and I had a discussion today about drugs and safety. It was cute, hearing them rat out their neighbours for smoking cigs and talk about how yucky they thought alcohol is. It was… sweet. How was work for you, hon?”

“Shit.” He retorts, closing his eyes, “Work is shit.”

“Oh come ON, I’m sure it’s not always that bad, right? Say, how’s your friend doing, you know, the one who kinda looks like one of my makeup brushes! Isn’t he good company?”

“Yeah, if good company means having to deal with a nuisance to society on a daily basis then by all means, yes, Gojo is wonderful company.” He joked, loosening his grip on her and making his way over to the stove to check on his sauce. She follows, opening the first drawer and pulling out a silver spoon, “You’re so mean sometimes. I think he’s a great guy to be around! I met him once, such a flirt.”

He teases calmly, “If you love him so much, why don’t you get with him?”

Taking her spoon, she lowers it into the pot and brings it back up to her face, blowing on it carefully before she puts it to her lips to taste. “Hmm, I would. But I don’t think he’s as big as you. I’ll have to pass.” She smirked, putting the spoon into her mouth as he watched and sighed in disappointment.

He glares,“God, you’re something else.”

“I’m just kidding, babe.” Bringing her spoon down for another taste. He swats at her hand and she retreats it with a whine. “Don’t do that. You’ve tried it already, and will again when we get to eat.” He scolded tenderly, “Plus, you shouldn’t be given these privileges anyway. It’s not like you helped out or anything.” He smiled, teasing her.

“Nanamiiii, I’m sorry,” she whines, half laughing, “I promise, I was going to help! I just got a little bit sleepy and sort of lost track of time…” He turned over to her and lifted her face with a finger under her chin. Laughing, he delicately caresses her cheek, tapping it admirably with a curled finger. The blonde chuckles and looks her in the eyes, “I’m just joking with you, love. I know you’ve been tired lately, I can tell. Why haven’t you been resting?”

Her smile falls and she sighs. Y/n wrapped her arms around his waist and brought him into her, hiding her face into his chest. It was true, she was exhausted but she didn’t deem it to be anything so serious. Work was just heavy this past week from having to grade her students’ work in time for report cards. All she wanted was the best for her kids and was finding ways to get the kids out of their comfort zones enough to do well in class. That reminded her, Nanami also mentioned having a student of his own.

She takes her face out of his chest and glances upwards. “It’s just this week of work, I promise I’ll be back to normal soon. I’ve just been busy with lesson plans and activities, yenno. Anyway, speaking of students, how’s the one you’ve been assigned to?” She posed in a soft tone. Half smiling, he turned around to add the strained pasta to the sauce, scattering it into the pot.

“He’s special. Quite lively. And cheerful. He reminds me of you sometimes,” his voice strains as he stretches to grab the bowl of cooked chicken to finally add into the pot, finishing the meal, “He’s got potential.” Y/n beamed with happiness. Nanami really seemed to like this kid and if he thought you had potential, then it sure as hell meant you had it.

She lets out a squeal, “EEEEEEK!!! That sounds amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Nanami suppressed a laugh and rolled his eyes, “It’s not that-”

“This calls for a drink, don’t you think?” She babbled with excitement, “We should have some wine! Right?”

Grabbing her wrist as she skipped her way over to the bottle, he reminded her, “You have school tomorrow. You always end up having more than needed and struggle to wake up in the morning.” Y/n frowned at his words, to which he noticed and tried to fix, “Tomorrow’s Friday, you can drink plenty tomorrow, hm? I’ll drink with you.”

“Ugh, fine. You’re right. But you have to promise.”

“I promise you ca-”

“No! You have to pinky-promise.” She demanded, pouting as he stuck out her pinky finger.

His heart skips a beat. Was she always this cute? Her angelic eyes stare into his tired ones. Bottom lip poking out, awaiting Nanami’s pinky to interlock with her own. He knew she took pinky-promises very seriously despite her grown age. It was among one of the many petty details that he cherished. Something about this pinky-promise was enough for her to ensure trust onto someone, it made him laugh. Her naivety is what made her so kind hearted, what allowed her to see the best in people. He felt that this naivety is why they’re together to begin with. He didn’t ever think she’d give him a chance. He reminisced of their first few encounters. The way she did her hair back then, the way she dressed, her shy smile and how she’d look at the floor whenever she’d blush. Maybe it was her timid nature that made him fall head over heels for her. Or maybe it was her generosity. Perhaps her beauty. He was unable to simply confine the reasoning for his infatuation with just a few traits. She grew overtime, more comfortable and less shy, she was more confident around him but he knew he could still make her blush so badly that she’d have to hide her face from him. He enjoyed their banter, her company. He felt it was luck. Or maybe it was fate. Who knows. He didn’t want to think so much about it. He wanted to live in the moment, adore her in this present time. In that instance, he felt the strong urge to kiss her. And so he did.

The kiss was short and sweet, yet full of an unfathomable amount of love. It took her aback, she didn’t quite see it coming. She too stood in the present moment, then and there, cherishing the man she loved.

His lips leave hers and he extends the smallest finger on his hand, declaring, “I pinky-promise.” And a ginormous grin washes over her face. In a whisper, she squeals and scoops her arms around his torso, resting her head onto his chest. They stay like this for a while, not too long really, but to them it felt like an eternity being in each other’s affectionate embrace. He goes to speak and she feels the vibrating boom of his voice make his way up from his chest.

“I love you.”

She sighs, “I love you too.”

Turning her head, y/n smoothly gets on her tip toes and clasps her arms around his neck, giving it a tender kiss and attempting to make a trail leading up to his sharp jaw. Catching onto her tactics he laughs, putting his big hand against her face and pushing her back.

“Seriously?” He chuckles, “You couldn’t wait till after dinner? Come on, take out the plates.”

“Wait for what? I was just kissing you! You’re so dramatic, Nami.” She lies, playing innocent. She knew damn well what she was trying to do. She wasn’t going to admit to it though. Taking out the plates and utensils, she readied the table.

…

After dinner and meaningless conversation, the two lovers tidied and headed towards their room. “Do yo wana wah a mohee tomowwow nie?” Y/n proposed from the bathroom as she brushed her teeth. He perks his head up, confused, “Do I want to what?” She spat into the sink and rinsed her mouth, repeating her question.

“I said, do you wanna watch a movie tomorrow night? Like at home? There’s this documentary I saw on Netflix, it looks really good! It’s crime related.”

“That sounds fine with me. Though, that’s only possible if you don’t end up drinking too much. I always have to get you to sleep early when you drink.” He states nonchalantly, nose poked into a thick book. She rolls her eyes and smiles, “I promise I won’t drink all that much.” Shifting his book to the opposing hand, Nanami silently takes his pinky finger and holds it out to y/n. She snickers and reciprocates.

“You’ve now pinky-promised. Don’t break it, y/n.”

“I never do.”

The nightstand lamp illuminates the room with a soft yellow glow. Shadows of objects on the nightstand hang on the walls. Laying in bed on her phone, y/n turns over to Nanami, who was still reading his book. “Nami, come lay next to me, I wanna cuddle. Please?” Her voice faint. He looks down at her and puts his book away immediately. He could use a cuddle too. Bringing himself down, he lays on his back, y/n closing the gap between the two. Their legs intertwine, her arm and head resting on his chest while one of his hands rested on her bum, the other dotingly playing with her hair. Neither of them spoke a word for a while. Until y/n broke the silence.

“So, were there no other pairs of pants you had left to wear or-”

“Please, be quiet.”

[missymurphy1985]

Nobody's Perfect (part4)

Warning - angst / pregnancy? / Smut

Taglist Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x

"What do you mean it's split??" You looked at him, hoping against hope he was joking.

"What else could I possibly mean y/n?!" You pushed past him into the bathroom to see for yourself. Sure enough, there it was. Burst at the top, how neither of you had felt it you didn't know.

"Listen y/n..."

"Shut up. I'll take care of it, okay." He nodded. You binned it, and moved back past him to put your jeans back on.

"You okay?" He asked, his face still pale.

"Cillian.. stop panicking okay? I'll go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill. It'll be like nothing happened. I wish nothing HAD happened."

He pulled his own jeans back on and sat on the same chair you'd just ridden him on, head back, hands on his face.

"You mean that?" He asked, bringing his elbows onto his knees and clasping his hands together, looking at you now, leaning against the counter.

"Yes. No... God I don't know.. you.. you fucking hurt me Cillian..." Tears back in your eyes, you sniffed lightly. "I made it to 27 before I had a one night stand, I was rather proud of myself. Then you came along."

"I'm not proud of what I did okay?" He stood and wrapped his arms round you. "I was married for 12 years until about 18 months ago."

"You were?" He pulled away and sat back on the chair.

"We had been trying for a baby for 3 years. Nothing. Then she got pregnant. I was over the moon, went to all the scans, the blood tests, helped her through the morning sickness.. held her hand when our daughter was born.. the works. A father, at last.. then my world came crashing down around me."

You sat opposite him and took his hand.

Cillian's flashback

Bunch of flowers in one hand and a small teddy bear in the other, Cillian approached his front door smiling. He'd finished his theatre run of Ballyturk a few days earlier than expected and was surprising his wife and new baby. Unlocking the front door, he stepped quietly inside and moved into the kitchen. The house was strangely quiet - her car was on the drive, so she must've been home? Checking his watch, 2pm - Niamh's nap time, she was probably resting herself.

Creeping up the stairs so as not to disturb them, he peered into his daughters nursery and smiled at the small 3 month old bundle sleeping soundly. He was desperate to pick her up but settled for a gentle kiss on the top of her head instead. Placing the teddy at the bottom of her cot, he heard a noise from the main bedroom.

Making his way down the landing, he went to open his and Liane's bedroom door before freezing.

"Fuck... Yes..." That wasn't Liane...

"Harder!!" That was...

"You gonna come for me Liane?" His mind was whirring at 100 miles per hour. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Pushing the door open, in his best poker face possible, he stood watching as his best friend, the best man at his wedding, was pounding into his wife.

"You gonna come or what, Liane?" His voice pierced the room, making Liane and Mark freeze and spin around, covering themselves and staring at Cillian, who simply walked out of the room and went downstairs.

He sat at the dining table, head in his hands, refusing to let the tears fall. Liane and Mark came downstairs and cautiously approached him.

"You were away filming for almost 2 years solid... I just... I didn't mean for it to happen..." Liane spoke.

"I haven't filmed a fucking thing for 9 months Liane. But it's good to know exactly how long you've been fucking my wife, Mark." He didn't look at either of them. His calmness was almost scaring Liane.

"Cillian I'm sorry man..." Mark broke the silence.

"Shut the fuck up. You've been fucking my wife for the best part of 3 years and you think you have a right to fucking speak to me? You were my best friend! I introduced you to your fucking wife! You have kids! WE have a child, Liane!" His voice was getting louder, he had to bite his fist to stop himself as the sudden realisation dawned on him. His eyes flashed red, unable to fully process it.

"Cillian..."

"Is she mine? Liane, is she mine?!" Her silence spoke volumes. Cillian dropped to his knees, the shock taking his legs from under him. He felt like a truck had hit him at full speed, knocking the wind out of him. Mark moved to pick him up, before being violently shoved across the room and slammed into the wall. Liane rushed upstairs to soothe Niamh who was now wide awake and screaming.

"You're lucky I haven't wiped the fucking floor with your face, you slimy bastard..." He gripped Mark's shirt so tight he couldn't feel his fingers, before slamming him back against the wall and storming out the house.

Flashback over

"I went back to Cork. Called my Dad on the way there to let him know I was staying for a few days. DNA test was done. Mark was Niamh's father."

"Cill... I'm so sorry, I had no idea.."

"No one knew. We kept it quiet. No one knew. Just divorced and she moved on. Haven't seen her since."

You truly didn't know what to say. The man in front of you was a shell of the one you knew before.

"Cillian Murphy, the 'golden balls of fucking Hollywood' - couldn't even keep his own fucking wife satisfied enough not to fuck his best friend. Couldn't father a child himself, after years of trying. Wouldn't worry too much about that morning after pill, probably not capable of knocking you up anyway."

"Cillian..."

"So after that, I refused to let anyone else in. Yeah, I fucked around - made sure it was with people I trusted to keep quiet and not run to the papers with it. Co-stars who needed a quick fling. Makeup artists and crew members that no one would believe anyway. It was working just fine, until.."

"Until what?"

"Until you, y/n. No one else managed to get under my skin the way you have. No one else wanted more from me - but you did. So I did what I had to do to make you hate me. I needed you to NOT want me.."

"How's that working for you?" You couldn't help but chuckle, and it made him smile.

"Yeah.. not going to plan anymore. Fuck, I'm sorry.. I am.. I didn't set out to hurt you, I was protecting myself. Selfish right?"

"Yes, but I understand. How about we start again? Forget what's happened, a fresh start?"

"I'd really like that y/n. I'm not an asshole.. just stupid."

"I'll agree with you on that. Come here." You lifted him to his feet and wrapped your arms around him. You held each other for a few minutes, before he leaned back and stroked your hair.

"What are you doing to me, huh?"

"Giving you a chance at being happy - you're allowed to be happy, Cillian. Not all women are out to break your heart. Don't let past relationships define future ones. I'm a fucking sweetheart!" You grinned and he laughed again. You could lose yourself hearing that laugh.

"You're certainly something." he nudged your nose with his.

"I have a request..."

"Name it."

"I don't want anyone knowing what happened between us.. it's private.. and this is my first real role, my turn to be selfish but kinda looks bad.." He nodded.

"Deal. So do I still get to kiss you?"

"Maybe."

"Touch you?"

"Maybe." He leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"Fuck you?" You gasped as his lips brushed your neck.

"Definitely."

[sequinsmile-x]

Lazy Saturday

This was literally born out of me ignoring my responsibilities all day and just laying on the couch. 

Pairing: Hotchniss

Words: 1,258

They get home from the case late on a Friday, the time ticking over into Saturday as the door to their house closes behind them. Emily sighs as her go-bag hits the floor and Aaron’s arm wraps around her waist from behind, pulling her back into his chest. She closes her eyes and rests her head on him, turning her face to press against his neck. 

“I am so tired.” She moans into his skin, enjoying the closeness they always had to deny themselves when they were away. Their affection for each other was limited to passing moments in quiet precinct hallways, passing out in hotel room beds for a few hours of sleep to recharge, and fingers linked together on the jet home. 

Aaron smiles and turns his face to kiss her temple. “Let's go to bed, sweetheart.”

They make it upstairs, him guiding her as her limbs get heavier with every step. By the time he is done in the bathroom she is sprawled on the bed, under the covers but starfished in a way that means he will have to move her to get in next to her. Aaron smiles fondly as he pulls back the covers on his side of the bed and sits on the edge, gently running a hand over her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Em, I need you to shift over.” 

She presses her face deeper into his pillow and groans before she moves over to her side of the bed, just briefly enough for him to climb in and pulls the covers back over himself. Once he is settled she presses herself up against him, curling into his side. “Love you.”

He smiles into the top of her head. “You too, sweetheart.” 

_________

Emily Prentiss had never been someone who enjoyed being idle. Sitting still for too long made her skin itch, the need to do something crawling over her skin. In Paris she had no choice, the days dragging into each other as months went by. When she got back home she purposely filled as much of her time as possible, something  her therapist said was her way of coping with what had happened. 

Aaron’s enjoyment of just doing nothing had surprised her when they first got together, his love of spending time with her, simply existing as they sat on their couch or laid in their bed. The first time they spent the day ignoring their responsibilities she had been unsure about it, but none of the usually restfulness had seeped into her body. She had enjoyed herself, the day slipping away into kids movies with Jack and takeout on the couch, and lazy, slow sex once Jack had gone to bed. 

Just because she enjoyed it, it didn’t mean Aaron had to know that. Which is why the following morning she initially tried to protest his plan of having a lazy Saturday. 

Emily rolls her eyes at him as he passes her a cup of tea and sits down next to her on the couch. “Aaron, we have so much to do. We haven’t been home in over a week so we have no food. Jack will be back from his vacation with Jess this evening.” 

“It’s nothing that can’t wait. And we can get pizza tonight. You know Jack would love that.” He leans towards her and presses a kiss to her forehead. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart.”

“And whose fault is that.” She mumbles under her breath, taking a sip of her tea as she does so. 

He raises an eyebrow at her and smiles. “We never have time off, let’s just make the most of it.” 

She bites her lip, pretends to think about it for a second when she knows all she really wants to do is sit curled up with him as they watch a movie they’ve already seen more times than she can count. “Okay.” 

They spend the day on the couch, him leaning on the arm of it and her leaning on him. They share a blanket and snacks, and he doesn’t comment when she falls asleep during her choice of movie. 

She wakes from her nap to his fingers trailing up and down her arm. “Damn it.” She mumbles, groaning as she presses herself further into him. “Why can’t I just stay awake?”

Aaron chuckles at her, something she pinches the skin of the arm wrapped around her for, before kissing the side of her head. “You are pregnant, sweetheart.”

Emily can’t help the smile that spreads over her face as his hand drifts to her abdomen, the barely there bump only obvious to the two of them. 

“Oh am I?” She asks sarcastically. “The constant nausea, exhaustion and sore boobs didn’t give that away at all.” She places her hand over his on her stomach and links their fingers together. 

“It will get better once you hit the second trimester.” 

She hums. “So you keep saying.” She tilts her head upwards to press a kiss to his lips. “I can’t wait until we can tell the team. I think Dave is suspicious.”

Her eyes flash for a moment as she remembers something. She sits up and turns, straddling his lap as she does. His hands settle on her hips as she leans forward to kiss him, hands gripping the back of his head. 

When they pull apart slightly he smiles and drags her forward. “What was that for?”

“Well.” She says, pressing another kiss to his lips. “Derek was very grateful that we got the weekend off.” Another kiss. “And said I should thank you accordingly.”

“Did he now?” He goes to kiss her again, but the front door bursts open and they break apart as Jess and Jack walk in. 

“Bye Jack.” Jess’ voice shouts through the door before he makes it to the living room, something she had done since she found them half dressed on the couch. Which still made Emily flush if she thought too much about it. 

“Hey buddy!” Aaron says, already off the couch as Jack approaches, hugging his son as he barrels into him.

“Hi Dad, I missed you!” The 9 year old exclaims before extracting himself from his dad’s embrace and moving onto Emily, who was now standing next to Aaron.

“Jack, be care-”

“I know.” Jack interrupts his father, rolling his eyes in a way he had picked up from Emily. “Be careful with Emily.” He says as he steps into her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Missed you, Jack.” She says, smiling down at him.

“You too.” 

They get pizza that evening and spend the rest of the day doing nothing. Emily manages to eat one slice before her nausea takes over, and she sits and smiles as she watches her two boys wolf down the rest of it. 

Jack then demands Aaron plays Twister with him, something she thinks is a bad idea considering the amount of food they had just eaten, but she keeps her concern to herself. Watches as they play when she shouts out the instructions. 

Jack laughs when he and Aaron collapse on the floor, only for his laughter to get louder when his father grabs him and starts to tickle him. He begs Emily for help, but she simply shrugs as if she was powerless to stop Aaron. 

She smiles and presses her hand over her belly, thinking of what her future lazy days could look like with another addition to their family.

Idleness, she thought, definitely had its place. 

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Monday 11 November 1833

8 55

11 55

fine morning F48° at at 9 ¼ am. breakfast at 11 - writing copy of letter to Mrs. de Bourke breakfast at 11 - read the Hamburg Reporter of the 8th inst. till near 12 - then finished dressing - off at 12 20 to take up Mrs. Hage (in my own carriage) - drove along the long Line walked for ½ hour just beyond the suburb of the town, and then got into carriage and drove to Torbeck? [Taarbæk] some distance beyond the Park on the coast road - Mrs. Hage would go with me to Mr. Browne’s or would go with me to Elsineur [Elsinore] - quite sure she could do everything for me if I did not take Eugenie - asked if I knew Latin and Greek and if I had read Virgil Horace Homer in the originals - to all which I pleaded guilty - she seemed disappointed at my saying Poetry was not my fort - envied my journey to Russia etc in fact would gladly go with me if I gave this the least encouragement     countess de Blucher told me this on Sunday    I laughed seeming as if such a thing had never entered my head   Mrs. Hage advised my calling on the duchess de Montebello and when I declined this offered me Mrs. Pauli to take me      this too I civilly got off    said the princesses  would come to me if I asked them and advised my giving a call after the king’s birthday  said this would rather alarm me   should not have room enough  I see they think me rich - the de Hagemanns being mentioned I spoke in praises of both   ‘tis plain they are not liked - Mrs. Hage me to drink tea with her on Wednesday - sat her down at her own door, and home at 4 10 - found the card of ‘Mr. N.C. Nissen’ with a very civil note to say he had found a German master at 4 marks an hour, a Mr Schmidt, who would be at liberty in a week, and would then call with another note from Mr. Nissen to identify him - dressed and went at 4 55 to Lady Harriet to dinner - all a strange mistake of mine - did not recollect till I was there that she had only asked me for the evening - so the answer was when I was ½ way upstairs that she was not at home - returned immediately- found Eugenie out on inquiry of the porter found she went out almost if not quite every evening as soon as I was gone - Had the waiter up - desired him to give a strict order to the porter never to let her out after 5pm without leave

SH:7/ML/E/16/0136

given expressively by myself to him (the porter) - had Thomas and told him the order I had given - the French waiter owned the impropriety and that there was no worse place than Copenhagen especially for filles de chamber dressed like Eugenie who it seems plays la grande dame here -  Thomas did not like to say much but owned to her being out half a dozen times or more   but she told him she always went to lady Harriets - dinner at 6 - a little nap afterwards - reading Lami’s little history of Denmark and wrote the whole of today till 8 35 - then pothering over French letter to Madame de Bourke got on very ill    I shall be obliged to write in English at last -  Eugenie came back at 9 ½  I see there is no trusting her - her excuses are ready enough but that she only went out when I went out to dinner was an untruth - she did not seem to care a great deal (tho’ very civil as to servant like propriety in saying not much) I told her I should try to take better care of her in future, and, if I could not manage her, should send her back to her parents - said I had a great mind to write to her mother - but this seemed to make no great impression – fine day – F49° at 11 25 wind highish tonight

[conradscrime]

Lizzie Borden: Guilty or Innocent?

October 03, 2021

Lizzie Andrew Borden was born on July 19, 1860 in Fall River, Massachusetts to mother Sarah Anthony Borden and father Andrew Jackson Borden. Lizzie was the youngest of two, having an older sister named Emma almost 10 years her senior, and Emma often acted as a mother figure to Lizzie, especially after their mother, Sarah, died in 1863 when Lizzie was just a baby. 

Andrew Borden had grown up as a descendant of wealthy and influential people in this area, however he had some money struggles when he was younger. He eventually became an extremely successful property developer and owned lots of property. At the time of his death his estate was estimated at $300,000 and that was in the 1890′s, in 2020 his estate was worth $9 million. 

Despite the Bordens being extremely wealthy for the time, Andrew was a frugal man, often not wanting to truly live like wealthy people. The Borden house did not have indoor plumbing, though they could afford it and most of Andrew’s cousins lived in a richer area of Fall River known as “The Hill.” 

Lizzie and Emma were brought up very religious and Lizzie even taught Sunday school to children of recent immigrants. Lizzie was involved in many organizations such as the Christian Endeavor Society and the Women’s Christian Temperance Union (WCTU). 

In 1866, Andrew married a woman named Abby Gray, to whom Lizzie did not like. Lizzie often referred to Abby as “Mrs Borden” and believed that Abby had only married Andrew for his money. Lizzie and Emma would rarely eat meals with the Bordens because of this dislike which Bridget “Maggie” Sullivan, their maid later testified. 

If you are into true crime than you must of heard the story of Lizzie Borden and her axe before, as this is quite a popular case. But if you do not know the case well, spoiler alert: Andrew and Abby Borden were murdered with an axe on August 4, 1892. Here, we are going to go over a couple of strange occurrences that took place in the Borden household leading up to the murders. 

In May 1892, a few months before Mr. and Mrs. Borden were brutally murdered, Andrew had killed some pigeons in his barn with a hatchet. It is believed that Lizzie had built a roost for those pigeons and was very upset to hear that her father had killed them, though some dispute that this ever happened. 

Another strange event that occurred just a month before the murders was that Lizzie and Emma ended up taking “extended vacations” in New Bedford after a supposed family argument. The two sisters returned only a week before the murders, and Lizzie even chose to stay in a local rooming house after returning to Fall River for 4 days before she eventually went back to the Borden residence.

Leading up to the murders, various arguments happened between Andrew and his daughters over the fact that he had chosen to gift some of Abby’s family real estate and had boughten Abby a house. John Vinnicum Morse, Lizzie and Emma’s uncle on their mother’s side, visited the Bordens on August 3, 1892, one day before the murders took place and had planned to stay for a few days to discuss business with Andrew. 

Some suspect that John and Andrew had been talking about property transfer, which added fuel to a fire between Lizzie and her father. 

Another strange unexplained occurrence was that in the days leading up the murders, the entire Borden household was becoming quite sick, and while a family friend believed it was just food poisoning, Abby had fear that it was actually poisoning.

John Morse, the uncle, arrived at the Borden house on August 3, and had slept in the guest bedroom that night. All Bordens, John and Maggie were present at breakfast and Andrew and John went into the sitting room and talked for about an hour. John left the house at 8:48 am to buy some oxen and visit his niece, he had planned to return to the Borden house around noon. Andrew Borden left for a morning walk sometime after 9 am.

It is worth mentioning that Emma Borden was out of town on August 4, 1892. Abby Borden went upstairs sometime between 9 am and 10:30 am to make the bed in the guest room, and according to the investigation it appeared that Abby had been facing her killer at the time of the attack. 

Abby Borden was first struck on the side of the head with a hatchet which cut her above her ear, causing her to turn and fall face down on the floor. The killer then struck her more times, hitting her 17 times in the back of her head. 

Andrew had returned home around 10:30 am from his walk, and when he tried to open the door with his key, it failed. He then knocked on the door and Maggie the maid unlocked it for him, though she found it jammed. While the door was jammed Maggie had cursed, and she later testified that she heard Lizzie laughing immediately after this from the top of the stairs, though she did not see Lizzie at this time. Abby Borden was already dead at this point and it is said that anyone would of been able to see her body laying on the floor on the second floor of the house, so if Lizzie was standing at the top of the stairs when the door was jammed than she would have known Abby was dead and had not yet said anything. 

Lizzie herself denied every being upstairs and said that Andrew had asked her where Abby was and she replied that she had been visiting a sick friend at the time. Lizzie had helped Andrew remove his boots and put him in slippers before he laid down on the couch for a nap. However, in the crime scene photos, Andrew is laying on the couch with his boots on, not slippers. 

At this time Maggie went to go take a nap in her bedroom on the third floor, taking a rest from cleaning the windows just before 11:10 am when she heard Lizzie call from downstairs, “Maggie, come quick! Father’s dead. Somebody came in and killed him.” 

Andrew was slumped on the couch in the sitting room, and had been struck 10 or 11 times with what appeared to be a hatchet or close to a hatchet. One of his eyeballs had been split cleanly in two, and it appeared as though he was sleeping when he was attacked. He was still bleeding, suggesting the murder happened very recently. Detectives determined that Andrew Borden died approximately at 11 am. 

When Lizzie was questioned many believe her answers were a little strange. She claimed she had heard a groan or a scraping noise or a distressed call before entering the house, and then two hours later she told police she heard nothing and entered the house. When asked where Abby was, Lizzie said she had received a note asking her to visit a sick friend but thought that Abby had returned and asked if someone could go upstairs and look for her. Maggie and a neighbour, Mrs. Churchill were halfway up the stairs when they saw Abby lying face down on the floor. 

Multiple officers reported that they did not like Lizzie’s attitude, they thought she was too calm during questioning. No one had checked Lizzie for bloodstains despite her strange behaviour, thought police did check her room but not properly because Lizzie said she was not feeling well. 

Police found two hatchets in the basement, two axes and a hatchet-head with a broken handle. The hatchet head was suspected of being the murder weapon as the break was fresh. Andrew and Abby had been tested for poison due to the recent illnesses that had been happening to the family, but none was found in their systems. 

Residents believed Lizzie had tried to purchase hydrocyanic acid in a diluted form from the local drugstore, but Lizzie said she had only inquired about it so she could clean her furs. 

On August 6, 1892, police searched the house more carefully, inspecting the sisters’ clothing and removing the broken handled hatchet-head. A police officer and the mayor visited the Borden house that evening and Lizzie was informed that she was a suspect in the murders. The next morning, Lizzie’s friend, Alice Russell, entered the kitchen to find Lizzie tearing up a dress. Lizzie said she was planning to burn the dress because it had paint stains on it. No one knows if this was the same dress Lizzie was wearing on the day of the murders. 

On August 8, Lizzie had an inquest hearing to which they had given her morphine to calm her nerves, which could have had an impact on her behaviour which was noted as very erratic and she refused to answer a lot of questions even if they were beneficial to her. Lizzie often contradicted herself and provided multiple accounts of the morning. At one point she said she was in the kitchen reading a magazine when her father came home, and then after she said she was in the dining room doing some ironing, and then at another time said she was coming down from the stairs. 

On August 11, Lizzie was served with a warrant of arrest and jailed. The inquest testimony provided most of the basis of whether Lizzie was guilty or innocent, though this was later ruled inadmissible at her trial. The testimony at the inquest also changed many of her friends’ opinions on her that she was innocent, questioning if she really had murdered her father and stepmother.

Lizzie’s trial began on June 5, 1893. On June 1, 1893, another axe murder had taken place in Fall River, with the victim being Bertha Manchester, found hacked to death in her kitchen. There were many similarities between Bertha’s murder and the Borden’s murder, though in 1894 a Portuguese immigrant named Jose Correa de Mello was convicted of Bertha’s murder and was not in the area at the time the Borden’s were murdered. 

Lizzie’s actual movements and where she was in the house was taken into account during the trial with many disputes. Maggie had entered the second floor of the home at around 10:58 am and left Lizzie and Andrew Borden downstairs. Lizzie told multiple people that she was in the barn at this time, for “20 minutes or possibly a half an hour.” Hyman Lubinsky testified that he witnessed Lizzie leaving the barn at 11:03 am and Charles Gardner confirmed this time as well. At 11:10 am Lizzie called to Maggie from downstairs that Andrew had been murdered and told Maggie not to enter the room, instead Maggie went to get the doctor. 

If Andrew Borden was murdered at exactly 11 am then Lizzie supposedly would have still been in the barn for another 3 minutes, but did that give the killer enough time to leave the house undetected? 

Both Andrew and Abby’s heads had been removed during the autopsy and the skulls were admitted as evidence during the trial. When seeing the heads at trial, Lizzie fainted. Evidence that Lizzie had been trying to purchase hydrogen cyanide the day before the murders was excluded, with the judge saying that incident was too remote to have any connection to the murders, though the local druggist did say Lizzie tried to buy it. 

The jury deliberated for an hour and a half on June 20, 1893 which is a very quick deliberation. They acquitted Lizzie Borden of the murders of Andrew and Abby Borden and when Lizzie was exiting the courthouse she told reporters that she was, “the happiest woman in the world.” 

Though Lizzie was acquitted, many believe that she is the prime suspect in her father and stepmother’s murders. Many theories have been brought forward of what Lizzie’s motive could be. Some believe Lizzie was physically and sexually abused by her father, but there has been little evidence to support this theory. 

Another popular theory is that Lizzie was in a relationship with Maggie the maid, and that perhaps Abby had caught the two in a sexual act so Lizzie decided to kill her. The theory then goes on to say Lizzie told Andrew what she had done to Abby and killed him when he also reacted in horror and disgust at the idea of a lesbian relationship. Some had speculated that Lizzie was a lesbian as she was in her 30′s at the time of the murders and had still been living in her father’s home unmarried, which was taboo in 1892. Maggie was never speculated as being a lesbian however, and she found other employment as a maid in Butte, Montana and married a man after the murders. 

Maggie Sullivan died in Butte in 1948 and supposedly gave her sister a deathbed confession, that she had changed her testimony at Lizzie’s trial to protect her. Many believe that Maggie helped Lizzie after and fully knew that Lizzie had committed the murders. Maggie herself was a suspect to some, as it was believed she was unhappy about washing the windows on the day of the murders because it was a very long and difficult task and it was extremely hot that day. Some believe she murdered the Borden’s because she had to wash the windows on a hot day and was still recovering from feeling ill.

Another suspect was John Morse, Lizzie’s uncle who they rarely saw but had been visiting and slept in the Borden house the night before. However, Morse had an alibi for Abby’s murder, which law enforcement said was almost too perfect and over detailed. He was considered a suspect by police for a period of time. 

A man named William Borden who was suspected to be Andrew Borden’s illegitimate son was a possible suspect as the theory believes he was trying to extort money from his father but failed. Author Leonard Rebello did lots of research in relation to this theory and proved that William was not Andrew Borden’s son. Emma Borden was also believed to have committed the murders, though she was out of town some think she came back to kill Abby and Andrew before returning to Fairhaven where she was staying to receive a telegram that the murders occurred. 

After Lizzie had been acquitted her and Emma moved into a large modern house in “The Hill” area of town, the one the girls wanted Andrew to live in. At this time Lizzie began going by “Lizbeth A. Borden” instead of Lizzie and the girls had live-in maids, a housekeeper and a coachman. Because Abby had died before Andrew, her estate first went to Andrew and then to Lizzie and Emma as part of his estate when he died. A considerable settlement was paid to Abby’s family, however Lizzie and Emma received a lot of money due to their father being quite wealthy at the time of his death. Many believe this was most of the motive for Lizzie killing her father, to gain money so she could live the luxurious life she always wanted. 

Lizzie was hated in Fall River, with many believing she had gotten away with murder. She was accused of shop-lifting in 1897 in Providence, Rhode Island, which Lizzie was known to have shoplifted a lot before her father died, as Andrew would pay for whatever Lizzie stole.

In 1905, Lizzie and Emma got in an argument and Emma moved out of the house and the two sisters never saw each other or spoke again. Lizzie began ill following the removal of her gallbladder, and died from pneumonia on June 1, 1927. Very few people attended her funeral and the details were not released.

Nine days later on June 10, 1927, Emma died from chronic nephritis at the age of 76 in a nursing home in Newmarket, New Hampshire which she had moved to in 1923. Lizzie and Emma were buried side by side in the family plot in Oak Grove Cemetery. 

The Borden house is now a museum and a bed and breakfast with 1890′s style. Pieces of evidence used in the trial, including the axehead are preserved at the Fall River Historical Society. 

The Lizzie Borden case is one of the most famous true crime cases in history, with many people split on whether they think Lizzie is guilty or innocent. Some of you have probably heard of the famous rhyming melody that many sing in relation to Lizzie and the axe murders, 

“Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done,

she gave her father forty-one.”

The rhyme has a less well-known second verse:

“Andrew Borden now is dead, Lizzie hit him on the head. Up in heaven he will sing, on the gallows she will swing.”

[jobrookekarev]

23 & 29

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

In the beginning, Jo worries that she is not good enough. She mainly worries that things between her and Alex will fizzle out or they'll break up and she'll be left without a place to stay. She really loves Alex, more than she's ever loved anyone else. For the first time in her life, she has a good healthy relationship and she doesn't want to lose him. Sometimes when they fight she'll tiptoe around him or try and stop the fight by giving in to him. After he realizes what she's doing he’ll make sure to communicate with her. He tells her that just because they fight doesn't mean that he doesn't love her or that they're going to break up. After a few months, Jo becomes more secure in a relationship. Soon they're able to even playfully fight knowing full well that at the end of the day they’ll fall asleep in each other's arms knowing that they love each other.

Like Alex can't even sleep on the couch for the whole night when they fight. If she banishes him to the couch or if he gets mad and goes there himself, they’ll tossed and turned for about 20 minutes. Then Jo will ask him if he wants to come back to bed with her and he'll jump up and crawl back into bed with her. Yet, as he cuddles up to her she'll remind him that their fight isn't over. Still they fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms and by morning they aren't fighting anymore.

Alex on the other hand is definitely worried that he's going to mess it all up. All of his past relationships have been messed up or not as serious as this and his divorce with Izzie is still something that lingers in his mind. He worries that he's going to be too much for Jo and that she will get tired of him and leave. For example, he first time she get’s sick she insists on going to work and it reminds Alex of when Izzie went back to work after she recovered from her cancer. She pushed him away when he tried to care for her and he doesn't want to make that same mistake. So he doesn't hover over her and lets her go to work. Halfway through the day, Jo comes up to him and asked to be put on his service. She thought that he say yes and would cover for her and let her nap in an on-call room. However, when he refuses to, she's confused and goes back to where she was working in the ER. At the end of the day the little cold that she had is now full blown illness and she's pretty much dead on her feet. Alex come to pick her up and take her home, but he’s still distant. Once they gets home Jo changes into pajamas and comes downstairs where he’s sitting on the couch. She stands in front of him blocking his you to the TV and asks why he's been so distant today and if he's really that afraid of her germs?

Alex: “It's not that. It's just that I assumed you wanted to tough it out. I’m not your parent and I’m not going to take care of you.”

Jo: “What if I wanted you to take care of me?’

Which surprises him and he gets that dumbfounded look on his face.

Alex: “You wanted me to take care of you?”

Jo throws her hands up in frustration: “Yes!”

Alex: “Oh.”

Jo: “Look you don't have to necessarily hover over me, but I wanted you to put me on your service because I knew that you would let me take it easy. I thought that maybe you let me sneak away to an on-call room and take a nap. I wanted you to take care of me a little bit, because no one's ever done that for me before. When I was a kid none of my foster parents cared about whether I was sick or not. I thought that you might at least care enough to notice that I was having a hard time, but I guess it's silly. I’ve been taking care of myself for years and I don't need someone to take care of me.”

Then she turns to walk away and Alex immediately gets up and wraps his arms around her and he picks her up. Jo's a little surprised and asks what he's doing and he says that he's going to take care of her starting with putting her to bed. So Alex takes her upstairs and tucks her into bed, before he goes and he gets cold medicine, tea, her favorite soup, and puts a cold washcloth on her head. The next day he insist that they both stay home from work and he takes care of her.

And Alex loves taking care of her. It makes me feel needed and useful. He can do something for her while she’s sick, rather than just watching it happen like when Izzie was sick or when his mom had a menial break or when his dad drank. And Jo loves being taken care of. The next week when Alex has inevitably caught her cold, Jo takes care of him and doesn't protest no matter how much of a baby he is.

Okay I might actually write this.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

I know it's fall but I have a Christmas idea, so it's Christmas 2020 they're very first Christmas with both of their girls. Although Luna is still in the hospital and Helena is only 10 days old. They both want to make their first Christmas with their daughters special. Jo's 10 days postpartum and on Christmas day she'll only be a month postpartum. Most days she barely has time to take a shower, much less plan a big Christmas or anything. What Jo wants to do for Christmas is just get fried chicken, go to the hospital with Alex and Helena and spend a couple of hours with Luna, let the girls open presents or in Helena’s case dangle and new hanging toy above her head, take a family Christmas photo, and be in bed by 9:00pm.

Alex on the other hand is trying to plan the biggest Christmas event he can. He's already got a long list of Christmas gifts for the girls and for Jo and he's planning to coordinate with Meredith for a big family Christmas dinner. On top of that he wants to completely decorate the house and put up lights. He’s also trying to support Jo and care of Helena, so he hasn’t showered since.. well since Helena come home from the hospital. He’ also doing all of the cooking, while neither of them are doing any cleaning or laundry. Lucky Meredith and Link come over twice a week to help them.

So the first weekend of December, after Meredith comes over to help Jo and the baby he goes to the store and picks out millions of lights and a couple of blow-up Christmas displays, some candy canes for the walk way, and a thing to sync the lights to music. After he spends why to much money he home. After Meredith leaves and Jo and Helena take a nap he goes outside to put up the lights. Jo of course, knows nothing about all this. She thinks that he got ONE single blow up snowman this for the lawn.

So bare in mind that the only Christmas lights that Alex has ever put up, is a string of lights across the wall on the nurse’s station at the hospital. So there he is on their roof for the first time putting up Christmas lights and of course he underestimates how hard it is. He reaches a little too far and ends up teetering off the ladder and falls.

Jo here's the crash and runs outside to see Alex in the bushes with a ladder. She absolutely freaks out thinking that her idiot husband killed himself. So she quickly helps Alex up and figures out that he's fine except that he most likely broke his arm. Then she screams at him that he could have killed himself and what was she supposed to do if he died? And that if he ever scares her like that again she would divorce him?! Then of course she wraps her arms around him and kisses him because she's so glad that he's alive. 

So they get Helena in the car seat and drive to the hospital where Alex gets a green and red cast. While Link is lecturing him, Jo and Helena go up to visit Luna to tell her about how much of an idiot her Daddy is, but how he was so excited for her first Christmas. From then on Jo insist that Alex pay professions to put up the lights each year. 

However that doesn't stop Alex from completely going overboard and planning elaborate Christmas light displays and soon their house is one of the best in the whole neighborhood and is even featured on TV as one of the best Christmas lights house displays in Seattle. And every year Luna and Helena, and later Edith and Quin, get told the tale of how their father fell off the roof as a cautionary tale to never use the ladder without supervision.

Okay I am definitely going to try and write this for Christmas.

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Better With You: A Drabble: Adventures of Babysitting with Scott Evans

A/N: Alright, I’ve always wanted to write something with Scott and babysitting. So this little drabble fit perfectly! 

Summary: While Andy and Reader are still on their honeymoon, they had left their daughter with Scott to watch her. 

Also, this wonderful banner is by @princessofdarkwinter thank you babes! 

"I got this, don't worry, Scott Evans, you got this. It's just your niece, just like Stella when she was a baby." Scott told himself as he pulled up into your driveway. Cass’s car was there, and it was his turn to babysit his niece while you and Andy were still on their honeymoon in Connecticut. 

Scott would have to spend the night at the house, as you and Andy were to come home around noontime the next day. Taking one last breath, Scott parked his car and got out. Walking towards the front of the house, Scott took out the spare key you gave to him. Opening the door, Scott stepped in to see Cass walking out from the kitchen. 

“Welcome, you’re in for a treat. Hazel just went down for her afternoon nap. In case you need it, the instructions for Hazel are on the counter. If you have questions, you can call Diana or me.” Cass said as she went to the front door. 

“Alright, anything specific that I need to know?” Scott asked, and Cass laughed. 

“Nope, but like I said if you have any questions? Just give us girls a call.” Cass said and headed out the door. Once the door closed, Scott went to the kitchen that connected to the living room. He looked towards the bassinet to see Hazel sleep peacefully. 

Smiling to himself, Scott went to the kitchen and looked over the instructions. 

Hello Diana, Cass, and Drama Queen!

Here are the instructions on how to take care of Hazel. I know Cass and Diana will be okay. But this is SPECIFICALLY for Scott. :)

1.    Hazel bug wakes up around 6:30 to 7 am. Depending on the time, Andy has to go to work. But it’s most likely 6:30 am. It IS IMPORTANT TO CHANGE HER CLOTHES. Hazel tends to drool on her clothes. Or better yet, it has an accident. 

2.    Breakfast: Hazel gets a small piece of banana and her baby rice meal. Along with her sippy cup of water. Instructions for the rice meal are on the box. (DON’T FUCK IT UP, SCOTT.) 

3.    Playtime: After breakfast, Hazel likes to play in her play gym in the living room. Also, she likes to watch Mother Goose as well. 

4.    Around 11:30, it’s Hazel’s nap time. Depending on what you are doing, if you want to have her sleep in the living room, you can. Or you can place her in her crib upstairs. Hazel will not fall asleep unless you sing to her, OR you can leave on some soft piano music. Either one will work. 

There was some instruction on a lunchtime for Cass and Diana. Scott had skimmed through it until he saw his name. 

7. Scott Evans, Oh Scott. I have prepared some food for you. They are in specific details, and it shouldn’t be that hard to understand. 

8. Night time: Hazel’s bedtime is at 7 pm. Before 7, you would need to give her a nightly bath; all the shampoos and bath soap are there. 

9. The nighttime routine is the same as her nap time. Either sing to her or leave some music on. 

10. After she falls asleep, make sure to take the baby monitor with you. She will most likely wake up in a few hours. 

Love, 

Y/N and Andy

Ps: Scott, there is some beer in the outside fridge in the garage. Help yourself to some as well. -Andy

Scott laughed and sighed at the same time. 

“I got this. This should be so bad...right?” Scott said to himself as he went to the living room and took a seat next to his niece. 

      A few hours later, Scott placed the TV on mute as Hazel woke up from her nap. Scott then got up from the couch and went over to her bassinet. Her green eyes fluttered open, and Scott went to pick her up. Hazel started with light burbble sounds from her mouth. 

“Hey, there, cutie pie!” Scott said as he held her up. Hazel looked towards her uncle, and her face scrunched up and let out a full-blown death cry. 

“Aww, what’s the matter, baby girl? Are you hungry?” Scott asked as he went to the kitchen. But as he got to the fridge, Hazel’s cries had reached louder. So, Scott placed her down onto his shoulders and began to pat her on her back gently. 

20 minutes later

Scott stood in the kitchen, holding onto Hazel, who was still crying. She had stopped a few minutes ago but continued again. He was doing all that he could, even trying to remember things that worked on Stella when she was a baby. But none of that worked. Scott even tried to look at the list you had written down for him, but there wasn’t anything. 

Silently cursing to himself, Scott took his phone out, and video messaged Diana and Cass. 

It rang a few times, and both girls appeared on the screen.

Diana, Cass: Hi there Scott!

Scott: Guys, Hazel has been crying for the past 20 minutes. What do I do? I’ve been soothing her, singing, etc. Nothing has worked?!

Cass: Have you bribed her with her toys?

Scott: YES! She just said NO! And hid her head on my shoulder.

Diana: Did you place her down after she woke up? Y/N would do that after she wakes up. 

Scott looked at Diana for a moment and sighed. 

Scott: No, I haven’t done that.

Scott then walked over to the living room and placed her down gently in her play gym. The moment Scott placed her down, Hazel had stopped crying and crawled towards her toys. 

Scott: I wouldn’t know what to do without you guys.

Cass, Diana: Oh Scott, that’s what friends are for!

Cass: Call us back when something goes wrong. 

Scott nodded and hung up the phone. Once the line went blank, Scott looked down at his niece and sighed.

“Hazel, you’re going to be the death of me. But you are lucky that I love you!” Scott said as he watched as Hazel looked up towards him and gave him a toothy smile. 

Another few hours later

Scott woke up from Hazel’s babbles from the baby monitor. Rubbing his eyes, Scott got up from the living room couch and heard upstairs to her bedroom. As he walked in, Scott had noticed Hazel gripping onto the rail of her crib and squatting down. 

“Oh Missy, you doing your squats now?” As he went to her and carried her out, Scott said and went to get her ready for a walk. 

During the walk, Scott had noticed Hazel squatting again, like she was in her crib. Thinking that maybe it’s her signature move, Scott just let it pass. After letting her play in the sand, letting her on the swing, it was nearly getting dark, and dinner time was coming close. Getting into the house, Scott placed her down, and he went to close the door. But as he turned around, Scott noticed Hazel again was squatting. But this time, she had stayed glued to the ground. 

“Hazel, come on, let’s get washed up for dinner,” Scott said, walking towards the downstairs bathroom, but Hazel wouldn’t move. Scott sighed and took his phone out, and called Diana again. 

Diana: Hi Scott, what’s the issue now?

Scott sighed and ran his hand over his face.

Scott: Hazel has been squatting. I thought it was something that she does. But she’s been doing it all day, and right now, she’s not leaving the ground. 

Diana: Pan the camera towards her. Maybe it’s a thing that my niece does too. 

Scott pans the camera towards Hazel, who was still on the floor, squatting. Scott watched as Diana observed Hazel, and then she let out a loud giggle. 

Diana: Scott, look at her face.

Scott looked over to her and noticed that she was scrunching her face.

Scott: I have no idea-

Diana: Scott Evans, you dumb idiot! Hazel is pooping!” 

Then, of course, that smell of poop came across, and it brought him back to the times when he had to watch his ma change his baby sister’s diaper.

Scott: Lord, what the hell do babies eat? That makes their shit stink!

Diana roared out a burst of laughter. 

Diana: I have no idea Scott, but you better change it now. Otherwise, you’re going to have one hell of a mess to clean up.

Scott: Fine, but you’re staying with me because I have no clue how to change a diaper.

10 minutes later and five diapers later

Scott: Okay, I think I got it. (Scott picks up Hazel and shows Diana)

Diana: It’s about time, Scott, and yes, that looks good. Now, feed Hazel. Otherwise, it’s not going to be pretty.

Scott placed Hazel on his hip and faced his phone. 

Scott: Hazel, say thank you, aunt Diana, for helping me!

Diana: Oh, your welcome. Now eat!

Scott hung up and went downstairs to prepare Hazel’s dinner. 

Bedtime

Nighttime came, and Scott had walked out of the bathroom, with Hazel in his arms and wrapped in a fluffy towel. Walking into her room, Scott placed her down onto the changing table and placed a fresh diaper. Then changed her into her onesies. 

“Alright, it’s time for you to go to dreamland, Hazel. Momma and Daddy will be home tomorrow!” Scott said as he took a seat on the rocking chair and placed her down onto his shoulders. 

“I’m not sure what song you like, but I know for sure that this is your momma’s favorite song,” Scott said as he began to hum to the song Just the Way You Tonight. 

It didn’t take long for Hazel to pass out. Her light snores came, and Scott got up from the chair and placed her down in her crib. Giving her Winnie The Pooh, Scott said good night and walked out of her room. Closing the door behind him, he let out a long sigh.

“I did it.” 

**

The Next Day

The next morning, you sat on the passenger’s side, looking out the window. You and Andy had a wonderful time in Connecticut. Just you and Andy and lots of sex. But at the same time, you couldn’t help but wonder about your daughter. You also thought if  Scott took care of Hazel okay, or anything. You told Cass, Diana, and Scott to call if there was a problem. But since they didn’t, she assumed that it went well. 

“Honey, I’m sure Hazel is in good hands,” Andy said as he reached for your hand and laced them together with his. 

“And we are almost home,” Andy said as he made the turn towards their home. Pulling up into the driveway, you got out of the car, and Andy went to get the luggage. Walking up to the front door, Andy opened the door to the house, looking like a war zone. You and Andy looked at each other and went straight to the living room. 

Upon entering, you found your best friend on the couch with Hazel sleeping on his chest. The look on his face gave a sign of defeat. Andy then gently picked up his daughter and placed her onto his shoulders. Then he went over to the stairways and went upstairs to her bedroom.

You then grabbed a pillow and smacked him on the face. 

“The fuck Y/N!” He nearly yelled. You laughed and crossed your arms against your chest. 

“I assume you had fun with Hazel last night?” You asked. Scott looked at you and laughed. 

“I sure did! Changed a diaper, Hazel loves to grab my beard. OH, and she loves to throw her sippy cup.” Scott said, giving a smile. 

“But overall, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love that kid.” Scott said.

**

@jtargaryen18 @icanfeelastormbrewing @what-is-your-backupplan-today @iluvsumbucky @evansphnx12 @charmed-asylum @malloryharris @onetwo3000 @worthypieceofshit @patzammit @kelbabyblue @shikin83

[sonic-wildfire]

Emotion Sickness: Diary Entries from Shadow the Hedgehog (Part 1)

Select entries from Shadow’s diary were found and compiled by Sonic (with Shadow’s permission) as an homage to both Shadow’s development and their relationship together. The entries were made between March 2009 and October 2013. This part of the compilation contains the entries made between March 2009 and December 2010.

10:53 PM - 4 March 2009

Hmph. Another day behind me. I crossed paths with Sonic today and he offered to have lunch with me. The request was somewhat flattering, but I turned it down. I don’t really need to eat.

Why is Sonic always so nice to me? It’s a liability to be within ten feet of him at this point, considering how much trouble he gets into. Whatever. I’m better by myself anyway.

5:02 PM - 19 July 2009

Amy visited me today and said she was here on Sonic’s behalf. Don’t know why, but she wanted me to know Sonic was offering to have me over at his place.

Sonic has a permanent home? Who knew?

I thought about it for a bit, but I declined. Again, I don’t understand why Sonic continues to do nice things for me even though I’m the most miserable being on the planet. It’s not that I hate them or anything, but I just can’t get close to anybody else. What if they reject me? What if...

Forget it.

I can’t think about this stuff. I’m going to take a nap. My thoughts are the last thing I need to be with right now.

6:46 PM - 30 November 2009

Wouldn’t you know it, that stubborn blue hedgehog turned up at my door today and again asked me to spend time with him. I was about to just tell him to piss off, but something about this interaction was different. I don’t know what, why, or how, but... it actually sounded appealing this time?

Very hesitantly, I said I’d think about it but don’t expect me to take you up on the offer. He just smiled, said okay, and left. 

Maybe I should at least try to be somewhat charitable for once. I called up Rouge and told her about what had happened and she just teased me over it before hanging up. You know, typical Rouge.

But she did tell me that it was ultimately my decision to make.

Hm. I think I might go after all.

12:25 PM - 2 December 2009

Just got back from having breakfast with Sonic. He was actually surprised I showed up. Honestly? I was surprised, too.

I didn’t talk too much, but Sonic... oh boy, Sonic. It’s like he never ran out of things to talk about. He’s smiling the entire time he’s with me, too. It was almost alluring just how much his bright demeanor contrasted with my moody self.

One of the things Sonic talked about was his friends. I was fully ready to just stop him right then and there (it rubs me the wrong way when anybody mentions friendship), but then he told me I was a “good friend” to him.

I asked him if he was serious. Sonic said yes.

In retrospect, it was certainly more eventful than most days. Perhaps little meetups like this would be healthier for me if I did them every once in a while.

3:59 AM - 28 May 2010

I can’t rest. I keep thinking about Sonic.

We’ve been meeting occasionally like I said I should. The longer I’m with Sonic, the more I begin to see in him what I could’ve been.

He’s a caring, generous man with everything going for him. People like him. He has a purpose in life. He’s coolheaded, rational, and valuable to society.

So why on Earth would Sonic be spending time with me, a reprehensibly depressed alien who is so completely worthless and undeserving of care? How could he possibly like me when I don’t even like myself?

I’m tired and tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes. I need to talk to someone in the morning.

1:51 AM - 29 May 2010

I called Rouge and told her about last night. She wasn’t very vocal, but she did offer a little encouragement. She said I don’t get enough sleep and that a little bit of rest would put me at ease for a bit. But I’m still on edge. What does Sonic see in me that I don’t? Or am I just overthinking this? My thoughts are erratic right now, so I’m sorry to anyone reading if this doesn’t make sense.

Ugh.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes already.

I’m so weak. I’m so pathetic.

Who would ever want to spend time with someone like me?

All I do is brood in the corner of the room all day and be an asshole to everybody. I don’t understand how anybody could be tolerant of me, much less a “friend.”

Yet... I’m still drawn to Sonic. For whatever reason, he’s just so inviting. He’s nice. Too nice.

11:32 AM - 8 August 2010

Over the past few months, Sonic and I have been visiting each other more often, and not much has changed.

From me, at least.

Sonic has been growing even kinder towards me than before. Sometimes, he’ll give me small gifts like a scarf. Other times, he’ll ask me about myself. If I were ready, I would’ve just spilled my true feelings about myself right then and there.

But I wasn’t ready. So I just talked about the very few things I did find enjoyment in. Gardening, space, and Chao. I begged him to never tell anybody about what I said to him, and he looked at me like I had three heads but vowed to keep it a secret anyway.

I just don’t know. Sonic’s a good guy, but... I can’t bring myself to be friendly with him. If I start growing close with people, they’ll just die or leave me and I’ll be heartbroken again just like last time. I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough.

I appear tough on the outside. But the truth is, I’m always on the verge of breaking down. My mental state is so volatile and virtually uncontrollable.

Chaos damn it, just get out of my head already!

3:40 PM - 23 December 2010

The holiday season. A time for joy, reminiscing on the past, looking forward to the new year, and exchanging gifts.

For everybody else, that is.

Ever since I came here, I’ve spent every Christmas alone.

All the others have a big gathering at Sonic’s house, having a good time (allegedly). I was never interested in these and I always declined every single invitation I got from Sonic. Yet, like clockwork, he still sends me one every year. Maybe hoping that I’ll change my mind one year.

After a lot of self-reflection over the past year, though, I’m not sure how much more invitations I can reject before Sonic gives up trying.

I crumble in social situations. Interacting with anybody other than Rouge, Omega, or Sonic for more than ten seconds takes an insane amount of willpower.

Something has to give. Either I go for once or they stop trying.

12:48 AM - 24 December 2010

I’ve decided I need to go. Maybe bring one of my Chao if things go wrong. I’m not necessarily doing this because I want to go. In fact, I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t go because at least I know things can’t go wrong if I’m by myself.

But I can’t stop thinking about Sonic and his friends. It drives me crazy.

9:21 PM - 24 December 2010

Party’s tomorrow. Note to self: don’t fuck this up.

11:17 PM - 26 December 2010

How quickly things can change has always amazed me. Tonight proved that.

Everybody was really surprised to see me showing up, but they said they were all grateful I showed up. Sonic, of course, was the first to welcome me, giving me a hug that admittedly felt like a breath of fresh air after so much time alone. Then again, I have a reputation so I needed to act like he was crushing me to death.

I didn’t spend much time talking with other people, though I did exchange some small talk with Rouge. The usual.

As the party grew longer, I found myself being... complimented by others?

Knuckles said he hoped I was “doing well.” Cream gave me a single flower while wishing me a merry Christmas. Tails shyly waved at me (I put on a smile and waved back). Omega said I was “one of the only creatures made of flesh” he trusted.

I’m sorry. Did these people forget who they were talking to?

Dinner was fine, though I was particularly eager about the sweets. Oh, right, I forgot to mention I have a knack for candy. The more you know.

Of course, then it was time for gifts. I swear you could fill the Grand Canyon with the sheer amount of presents under the tree. I guessed that roughly three of those were for me, ready to be mailed to me if I didn’t show up.

So you can imagine my surprise when I saw eight presents being dropped into my lap and all of them reading “To: Shadow.”

We all took turns opening our presents. I had two presents from Amy (a coffee mug and a Chao toy), one present from Espio (a kunai), one present from Tails (a bag of coffee beans), one present from Knuckles (a Kill la Kill DVD) and... three presents from Sonic?!

The first one was classic Sonic stuff. A sweater with the word “faker” sewed on the chest. He thought that one was really funny. I didn’t really care.

The second one was more genuine. A pair of rocket boosters for my shoes. My old ones are just about dead, so this was welcome.

The third one... subverted all expectation. It was a small box that contained a piece of paper. It read:

“Dear Shadow, stay after the party and meet me upstairs when the others leave. Signed, Sonic.”

The others were curious about what Sonic meant by this. Silver joked that I was being sent to the principal’s office.

Eventually, the party came to a close and people left. I went upstairs as Sonic had told me, and there he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. I sat down and asked him what he wanted me for, half-expecting something stupid.

“I understand you haven’t had the easiest life...”

I instantly got up to leave. No way I was sticking around to hear this again.

But Sonic grabbed my arm and yanked me back to the bed, his face now spelling genuine concern.

“...I know you mean well. Sometimes, you do things that we think are dumb but actually turn out to be smart. Other times, you just do dumb stuff. But that’s not the point. The point is, I want you to know that I’m still here for you. I can tell you’re bothered by your thoughts. But the bottom line is that I, and we, care about you. We love you, Shadow. I love you. Please don’t think you’re not worthy of being cared about. We have our ups and downs, but we always work it out eventually, right? I know your thought process works differently than mine. That does not make you any less deserving of respect. My greatest wish is that you would love yourself as much as we love you.”

I was stunned. That bastard. Quickly losing my composure, I began blubbering about how I couldn’t stand the thought of getting close to someone just to lose them again. How I’m so terrified that I will just be manipulated and used by people pretending to be my “friend.”

Sonic told me that he would never go away and that he would never “use” me.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sonic embraced me and I’m embarrassed to admit that I began sobbing as I wrapped my arms around him. I swore to myself that I’d never show any kind of weakness around them.

“It’s okay to cry,” he told me. “Don’t be afraid anymore. I’m here now. I’m here.”

“And I always will be. That’s a promise.”

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 9

Chapter Selection 

I was awakened by Hotch's alarm. I turn around and reach for his phone to turn it off. My headache pounding. It had only been a few hours since we drank. Honestly I was still a little drunk. 

I collapse on him waking him up. "Ughh", I mumble into the crook of his neck. "What is it", That was a dumbass question he knows I'm not a morning person. "Do you really have to ask me that." 

He chuckles, "Yes how would you feel if we took a shower. The hot water would be nice."

I get up and walk into the bathroom and turn on the water. As I'm waiting for the water to heat up I brush my teeth. I feel hands around my waist and lips on my collarbone. 

I look into the mirror and he's standing behind me looking hot even when he first wakes up. 

His head rests on my shoulder then I tug at his hand to get into the shower. I turn him into the water first, he needs it more. I put shampoo into his hair and massage it in. 

"You're good at that", I giggle and then wash it out. "Your turn", he turns me around and washes me. 

We step out of the shower and into the bedroom and I shiver. "Here wear this", He tosses me one of his hoodies. I put it on and I'm met with the smell of mint. 

He gets dressed first and leaves while I get ready. I finish up and walk into the kitchen where he's making breakfast. "Whatcha making?" 

"Pancakes, eggs, and sausage patties. We have a long day ahead of us and this might be the only thing we eat for a while." 

"True, did you start the coffee already." He hands me a cup answering my question.

We talked for a while til we had to leave at 5am for the strip. 

_____________________

When we got there it was 5:45am and Aaron told the pilot that we could leave. The team would be heading down later in the day. I sat on the couch my head resting against the wall. My legs in Aarons lap his hand writing his name up and down my leg. 

"When we get there remember we don't have to hide from the team." The thought brought a smile to my face even though I still didn't want them to know. 

"When we get there, my ass is slamming onto the bed and taken a fucking nap." Aaron chuckled and agreed.

The rest of the fight were spent with small naps and causal conversation. 

We arrived in New York at 7am and it wasn't as busy as it usually is. There was a car waiting for us when we got out the airport and they drove us to the Penthouse. 

Through the street we saw the luxurious building we were staying at. It was 30 stories and our place had two floors. The driver dropped us off and we walked in. 

I put my hand in his and continued walking through the lobby. It had black and white marble floors, a mirror ceiling, gold pillars on the sides with a red carpet going down the center leading to the elevator. 

We walk to the man behind the desk, "Amelia Perez." The man behind the desk began typing into his computer. "You're on the top floor, here's the key card. You need this to use the elevator; It only works for your floor." 

"Thank you, have a nice day." I say while walking away, "You too."

He gives us a smile as we walk into the elevator. The floor numbers slowly rising as we got closer.The doors open and I'm in awe. There are hardwood floors, white walls, a chandelier greeting you once you enter.

Their was a very large balcony with huge glass doors that led outside. With leather sofas and fire pit in center. 

In the living room; white couches, a fire place in front, and one wall is solely for a window. The window extends into the kitchen giving a full view of the city. 

There was a clear view of everything. The sun still rising lighting up the sky with virous colors.

The stairs start from the entrance and go up a wall and the loft extends to the kitchen as well. There is a skylight pointing directly into the living room and another one in the kitchen. 

The loft has a queen size bed, a couch on one wall and a 60 inch tv on the other. The bathroom is black with a single shower and a jacuzzi bathtub. I'm definitely using that later. 

I'm laying down on the couch when I smell something. "What do I smell!", I yell across the room. 

"I'm making food", he yells. "What kind of food, its smells so fucking good" 

"You'll have to see", I didn't wanna get up but I do. Picking myself up off the couch.

I walk into the kitchen and I see tomatoes, eggs, flour, basil. I see him rolling out a dough and making an alfredo sauce with chicken. I gasp; he looks at me and chuckles. "Chicken alfredo?"

He nodded continuing to roll the dough out.

"Are you making your own noodles?" 

"Yes I am." I take a seat on the bar stool watching him. "Well you're just full of surprises aren't you." 

He looks at me and smiles, "You have no idea." I walk behind him and wrap my hand around his waist and kiss his neck. He turns around and nips my cheek.

He finally finishes dinner and we eat. I got a huge bowl almost eating all of it. 

It's 10am when I walk back upstairs and collapse on the bed, falling asleep. I toss and turn until Aaron walks into the room. "Cant sleep?", I groan in response. He sets an alarm for 4:30pm. 

He climbs into bed next to me and pulls me close, his arm snakes around me. I nestle my head into his chest and take a deep breath taking in the smell of his cologne. 

He kisses the top of my head. I feel his warmth and it makes me relaxed. I fall asleep to the sound of his heart beating. Aaron falls asleep to the sound of my steady breathing. 

*beep*beep*beep*beep*

I grumble, "Shut that shit off." Aaron turns off the alarm. "We gotta get up, party is at 6", he says as he nudges me. "Fine", I get up and start getting ready. 

I look through the closet and find a red dress that reaches my calves with a slit up the side that stops at my mid thigh and a pair of red 2 inch heels. 

I throw them on and start to curl my hair loosely. Doing my makeup with a stubble red color lipstick, black eyeliner, and putting on false eyelashes. I get ready in an hour.

I take a step forward walking down the stairs and Aaron looks at me in awe. 

His mouth opens a little, "You look amazing." 

"Thank you, you look great." I say with a smirk. He has his hair set back, wearing a black tuxedo with a bow tie, and black dress shoes. 

He adjusts the Rolex on his wrist. "Take this", he hands me an ear piece to wear for communicating with the rest of the team. "Can you guys hear me?", I ask hoping it works. 

"Yeah we can", the whole team responds. We walk to the door, I put my hands on his bicep going into the elevator.

When we get outside he opens the limo door for me and I climb in with him. 

"Where too" 

"172 Madison Avenue." 

The ride was quiet until Aaron spoke up, "Remember when we get there I'm Christopher Harris, and your Amelia Perez." I nod my head and that's when we get to the party.. 

The driver stops the car, "Thank you." We smile at the driver. 

Hotch opens the door for me and helps me walk out. I grab his hand and he walks me through the lobby. I am approached by the man at the front desk. "Here for the Stalone?"

"Yes sir and which floor is it on?" 

"Top floor." 

I press the top floor and we ride up. The doors open and I notice all the people. He guides me through the crowd, they're all dressed in gowns and suits. 

"Let me guess the bar", I nod eagerly at his words. We get to the bar and he orders us a drink not asking me what I wanted. 

"Do any of you have your eyes on Carmine." I feel a nudge on my right and its Hotch handing me a vodka and coke. 

"How'd you know my drink"

"Lucky guess."

He says while sipping on his scotch. I'm enjoying my conversation while scanning the room searching for Carmine. 

"We have eyes", JJ says into the earpiece. I smile through my words, "Where." 

"Outside in the gazebo, hes guarded by 2 people. You're gonna have to get his attention if you wanna talk to him." Morgan states.

"Well that's just great isn't it, ok follow my lead." I say tugging on Aarons arm.

__________________

I went outside and noticed Carmine was sitting with a few girls and he had two bodyguards in the front.

Hotch was walking behind me when I pushed him back, "Don't fucking touch me asshole." I said loud enough for Carmine to hear; Aaron quickly realized what I was doing. 

"Amelia don't be that way come on give me one more chance and if I mess up again I'll leave you alone", I saw Carmine start to stare at me from the corner of my eye. 

"Fine but talk to me or do that bullshit again and you'll find yourself in the ground." I said sternly and I flipped him off. "Leave me alone, we'll talk later", I walked to the ledge and looked at the skyline. 

Hearing footsteps behind me I turned my head slightly. Got you dumbass. "I noticed the commotion a little while ago, you okay sweetheart?" 

I felt his cold hand on my back. I started to cry, having a tear in my eye when I looked at him. "Yeah I'm okay just pissed off at him. He had the audacity to do that to me, I deserve better."

"Yeah you do. How about you come and sit with me so we can talk a few things over." 

Carmine looks at my neck easily knowing the necklace I'm wearing is worth a few 100 thousand. He sits me down, "After that whole thing, do you have a place you can stay or are you gonna go back home with that asshole." 

"I'll probably go back with him, he might be a dick but he's my boyfriend and it's our place. I'm not gonna leave after one fight."

"So what do you do for a living." 

"I do off shore business." Throwing him a smirk, "If you don't mind my asking. What kind of offshore business." 

"I more or less invest in some privately owned places that do... certain things." He smiles at me while talking into my eyes. The feeling unsettles me making my skin crawl.

He gets up and puts out his hand and looks at me. I grab his hand, "Let's talk about this in private. You can call your boyfriend after we chat", Carmine says with a smirk.

Rossi walks over to Hotch who is sitting at the bar. "Do you see y/n?"

"She was with Carmine outside, they were talking that's all I saw." Morgan looks around from the dance floor with Emily, "We don't see her, she's not outside neither is Carmine." 

Rossi talks into the earpiece, "Garcia I need you to hack the cameras find her now." Garcia searches most of the cameras when she sees me for a few seconds. 

"Second floor far right corner, they're going into a room." 

"Can you get eyes in there", Garcia says no.

I walk into the room following Carmine, he takes a seat on the couch; points telling me to sit. 

"Now I assume you know what my family does for a living", he waits for my answer. 

"I do", he looks at me sternly. 

"How would you like to make some money and invest a little bit", he asks me. I'm just happy he got straight to the point. Maybe this will be over with quicker than I thought. 

"One how much would you like, two maybe i'll think about it", I shrug and look away. 

He had curiosity written all over his face. He speaks up, "I'll give you a call, see how you feel about the arrangement." 

I give him my number, then tells me I could leave. I stand up and walk out through the door and try to find Hotch. 

Garcia spots me on the camera, "She's back and walking towards you Hotch." I see him looking around trying to find me. "Miss me", I walk up to him. 

He looks at me and his face relaxes and he exhales deeply, "Mmm maybe a little". We smile at the comment and he puts a hand on my waist and grabs my hand. "Wanna dance?"

"I'm not the dancing type"

"Well you are tonight." He pulls me to the dance floor. "What'd he say to you in there" 

"Just that we could invest in his little company you know the usual." 

I hear JJ over the mic, "Well that was fast how'd you get him to talk." 

"What can I say? I'm very persuasive", I smirk. Aaron looks into my eyes and turns off our mics. 

"What are you doing", he doesn't say anything. He leans into my ear and whispers. "You were a good girl today maybe I might give you a reward."

My face turns red at the words and he pulls away to look at my reaction. I don't say anything but I give him a kiss on the cheek and I turn the mics back on. 

"Ok babe I'm tired, what do you say we go home", I grab his hand and guide him to the elevator and leave. "You guys stay, behind to track his movements, we are gonna go." 

The team says ok and we get into the car and head back to the penthouse. During the drive we don't say anything. He slides his hand up my leg and places his hand on my thigh. 

I shift a bit and my breathing hitches. He notices and gives my thigh and squeeze then slides in higher up. 

I close my eyes and put my head back against the seat. I felt a sudden cold spot on my leg when I opened my eyes he removed his hand and went to open the door. "Were here", he walked over to my side and guided me out of the car and into the building. 

In the elevator I grab his hand and our fingers intertwine. He smiles but doesnt look at me. 

The doors open and I walk straight upstairs, he goes to follow behind me but I stop him, "You know baby I would really love to fuck but honestly I'm tried." 

He looks at me and chuckles, "Ok princess." He turns around and goes downstairs. I sit on the bed and take off the dress and place it back into the closet. 

I go to take off my bra and there's a sudden relief. I turn on the shower and I smell food but I ignore it. I wash my hair, body, and brush my teeth. 

When I get out of the shower I see the time I was in there for over half an hour. I put on a tight white crop top and some red and black shorts. 

Going down the stairs I noticed Aaron had changed also into some striped pajama pants, he didn't have a shirt on. 

My eyes locked onto his body and I looked him up and down, when my eyes met his there was a smile on his face. 

"Enjoying something", He was holding back a laugh. "Nope nothing, did you make food?" 

I walked over to the couch and turned on a movie. "I did but that's gone now sorry did you want something." 

My stomach grumbled but I wasn't too hungry. 

"Yeah can you get some wine, please and thank you." He walked into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and poured some wine and gave me a glass. 

"You're welcome", He sat down next to me but I put my legs on his and we started to watch the movie. 

The wine was gone now and we're both a little tipsy. Gradually he would shift on the couch like he was uncomfortable. I nudged him, "Come here." I pulled him up and I opened my legs so he was lying in between them. 

He was moving so his arms were wrapped around my torso and his head was on my chest listening to my breathing. "Better?", he looked at me and hummed

I brought my hands up and put them on his head and started to stroke his hair. His hair was soft and smelled like coconut. 

I noticed he had closed his eyes and was sleeping so I turned off the movie and decided to not wake him up. I set up an alarm and went to sleep. 

I wake to the sound of my alarm; Aaron still laying down on my chest. His breathing is steady, I wrap my arms around him and just hold him. He wakes, sits up, and goes to the bathroom. 

"Well good morning to you too I guess", I mutter but he doesn't hear me. 

My phone starts to ring, "Hey y/n, he already has your number so now we just wait for him to call you guys. You have the day off I guess." JJ said over the phone. I look over at the kitchen and my stomach growls. 

"Ok thanks for the update." From there I hang up the phone and yell out to Aaron 

"Yo!", I don't hear him answer so I yell again. "What!", He finally calls back.

"We have the day off, did you wanna go out or stay in!?", he yells to stay in.

He walks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen for some water. I walk over and sit on one of the stools. 

"So Mr. Chef what's in store today?", his eyes shift over to mine and he chuckles. 

"Well I was thinking something simple like", he pulls out a box of mac and cheese from the cabinet and places it on the counter. 

His phone starts to ring and he steps out of the room. 

I hear shuffling and whisper yelling. I walk over to the door but I don't open it. I hear a quiet stuttering. Then he ends the call and Aaron starts to walk back towards the door.

______________________________

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