#and she has some traits like me
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Fuyu may be a bit of a stiff stuffy old man
But he's sad and lonely and really into theater and interested in musicals and such and fucking SAME
I wanna hold him, never let him be alone again and also take him to see a Broadway show or show him Pavaroti and both of us be excited nerds about it
Also he's tall and I'd have fun yanking him down to my height for a smooch
#bear text#blush blush#blush blush game#bear talks#Fuyu#I'd climb him like a mountain and also never shut up about musicals#the moment he said Broadway i was like OH BUDDY YOU JUST SAID THE MAGIC WORDS I FUCKING HOPE YOU'RE READY CAUSE YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF#literally had the producers playing in the background while drawing Iris and that wasn't the first and it shalln't be the last!#been drawing shit to the producers for years#and the venture bros#man the more i think about it the more things change the more they stay the same#also Iris i call her a marshnallowsona but shes low key more like an oc#which is to say#she ain't me#but she's an extension of me#and she has some traits like me#in fact a lot#one of them being musicals#JUST WAIT AND SEE I HAVE SOME CUTE DRAWING IDEAS
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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“My amazing daughter” ❌
Too human, not dystopian enough
“my lovable creature” ✅
Unintentionally objectifying, affectionate in a dystopian way, true to the canon “pet and owner” dynamic most aliens have with their pet-humans, “Aliens can never truly understand humans they are two different species”

#alien stage#alnst#It felt kind of disturbing to me but yk i can’t blame her#It’s better than “worth the loss” or “weapon” tsk#its kind of similiar to how we regard out pets. actually.#i bet aliens and humans dont have the same perception on love and affection#but its a trait that everyone and everything has...i think#the fact that shine tries. id never doubt she loved mizi to some capacity#but she couldnt...*love* mizi like a human parent#she will always be mizis mother to me though#i mean just look at how much she cared#the sentiment is still there so. i love it. *wipes tear*#“loveable” but not “loved” Shine could and would love mizi if she could
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OC Intro - Klio
(click image for better quality)
"I'll change this world for the better. Doesn't everyone want to live in a fairytale?"
RARITY: ✦✦✦✦✦
⭒♬ Titles/Aliases⭒› Lady of the Theater, High Court Magician, Patron of Heros
⭒𝄞 Path⭒› Emanator of Enigmatia
⭒♫ Faction⭒› The Grand Promethean Theater
⭒♬ Combat Info⭒› 5 Star, Fire/Harmony
⭒𝄞 Species⭒› Grimalkin (species info to be added)
⭒♫ Planet⭒› Bacharach - Laurel Wreath Galaxy (planet info to be added)
@miscellaneouslibrary @raven-starlight hope you don't mind me tagging you two, but you both seemed interested in knowing more about her :D
COMBAT:
pretend XX is a number I'm too lazy to figure out what it would realistically be T-T
⭒𝄞 Basic ATK⭒› Cutting Words
Deals Fire DMG equal to 50% of Klio’s ATK.
⭒♫ Skill⭒› Lights, Curtains, Action!
Increases the ATK of a single ally equal to XX% of Klio’s ATK for two turns. At the same time, Advance Forward the targeted ally’s action by 20%
⭒♬ Ult⭒› Final Bow in a Full House
Creates a field that lasts for two turns, decreasing by one at the start of Klio’s turn. While the field is active, increase DMG done by allies by XX%. Additionally, while an ally’s energy is full inside the field, gain Patronage, lasting until the Ult is cast. Ults cast while Patronage is active use up less energy and deal increased damage.
⭒𝄞 Talent⭒› A Tough Act to Follow
After a character uses their Ult, their next attack deals XX% more DMG
⭒♫ Technique⭒› Shifting Stargazer
....I'll figure it out later its late and I'm tired
LORE
Introduction
A playwright and Emanator of Enigmata who wants to make the world more like one of her shows (really taking the phrase "all the world's a stage" literally huh) She's revered for her storytelling and her status in high society as a patron of heros.
Personality
Eccentric and dramatic, Klio usually follows her heart over her head. She's very emotional and rarely seen being calm or serious. At worst, she's childish with a dangerous amount of power at her fingertips. At best, she's playful and happily uses her status to uplift others.
Character Stories
(to be added)
Voicelines
Voice Claim - ok imagine Furina's voice but 1) slightly deeper/mature and 2) slightly Italian boom done
First Meeting: "I've been keeping up on your journey, Trailblazer. If you ever want a stage adaptation, you must let me know at once!"
Greeting: "I've been running into you a lot...hey, this isn't a ploy to get free tickets, huh?
Parting: "Leaving already? Well, if you must leave so soon, make sure you come to see my next show!"
About Self - Book and Pen: "The book records and the pen rewrites- it's simple enough."
Chat - Intelligentsia Guild: "While the Genius Society is too busy to focus on me, and the IPC likes me enough to leave me alone, some members of the Guild have nothing better to do than bother a lady on her rest days- the day they stop messing with me will be the day I keel over dead!"
Annoyances: "Too often I have to wake up early for events- why can't they set them for later in the day, when people aren't asleep?"
Hobbies: "In addition to writing the scripts, I compose the music for my plays as well. It's rather relaxing, you should try it sometimes."
About Mr. Reca: "We disagree on some points, but I can always count on him to give me good feedback- that's why he always gets the first invite to my premieres."
About Dr. Ratio: "What was it he called me? Ah, yes- "a hedonistic fool who delights in obscuring the truth." Well, I was made an Emanator, and he hasn't gotten so much as a glance- let me ask, which one of us is the true fool?"
About Duke Bellerophon: "How he can manage to be that calm all the time is beyond me. If I had to sit through that many useless meetings I'd go insane!"
About Duke Bellerophon (2): "He's rather quiet, but I guess anyone would be considered quiet when compared to me, hehe."
Trivia/Fun Facts
⭒› She was originally designed to be a Masked Fool who was Elio's sister, and her first design was purple and black instead of red, white, and gold
⭒› VERY picky with her food, she's very gourmet and dislikes processed food. Her favorite food is sweet crêpes, she likes how versatile they are.
⭒› Despite being powerful magically, she's a coward, squeamish, and bad at most kinds of physical combat. No wonder she gets other people to fight for her!
⭒› Her last name is Vittorio, meaning winner or conqueror. She picked it out for herself after seeing it on the inside cover of her book.
⭒› Her and her planet are based on the Baroque period, specifically Baroque Italy/Rome, France, and Germany.
#tbh shes the oc the most like me#not quite a self-insert but she has some negative traits I have (dopamine seeker + overly emotional)#and some positive ones I want (confident + good at writing and storytelling)#honkai star rail oc#hsr oc#honkai star rail#original character
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Batb: Other Than Human - Themes stuff (& why I Called It That)
That's right folks, the self-indulgent "throwing any concept I like at the wall and haphazardly mixing together what sticks" au rewrite Thing has Actual Themes! That kind of happened accidentally but they are so real for that so let's get into it.
The Main Narratives Themes Trio of the story now all also embody expanded themes about being an "Other", when being a person is not enough to be properly considered human- more specifically of a neurodivergent/queer girlhood type flavor.
Summary is that it's called "Other Than Human" because the prominent theming is about being considered something other than human due to not fitting the mold of the 'norm'.
[This is a long one so details & specific character stuff are under the cut<3]
Amalure has the greatest departure from her original counterparts thematic placing, so we'll start with her. Amalure retains Gaston's social standing, reputation, etc. But it's of course not quite the same- because she is a woman, and she is not revered for being the picture of ideal womanhood/femininity. Instead, she excels in masculinity, but remains firm that she is and always will be a woman. So, to justify the desire & awe people have for her, they dehumanize her: She doesn't need to follow the Rules because she is outside of them. Amalure is not a person: she is a symbol, a figure, an object. A legend, a folksong, a modern myth. Her skills are not skills they are blessings, inherent, a mundane magic or supernatural. Despite having grown up in Villeneuve for her entire life, she is considered exotic, and is practically, if not actually, fetishized. And through all of this, the status quo and social order gets to be retained without question, and she gets to exist as the exception that proves the rule, rather than the Undesirable that she'd be marked as otherwise.
Amalure is fine with this, because this dehumanization is her status quo: She doesn't really view herself as a person either, she is defined by her relationship to other people, by who she is to them. Amalure has never been a person to anybody: Growing up she was never just a girl, never just Amalure: She was a girl with a mans brain, an embodiment of her fathers greatest achievements, an embodiment of her mothers worst mistakes, she is her fathers daughter or her mothers daughter, but not her own. (and she never both, it is either or, mother or father, never both, never parents.)
Princess Eve/The Beast is the other end of this, of operating through her dehumanization. Upon being cursed, she adheres to what societies have oft wanted to happen to their Undesirables: Hide away and never be seen by the public again. It is entirely self-inflicted, as most of her suffering truly is. She operates not through others dehumanizing view of her, but her dehumanizing view of herself and its warping of how she believes others view her. Because, well, the servants still view her as a person. I mean, they're still human- under the new object forms. And the separation of humanity that is easy to slip into on matters of royalty is awfully minimal as well; they watched her grow up, and she grew up among them.
The girl's bratty, spoiled, temperamental, and is a ball of horrid consequences of the shallow views and ideals learned from surrounding nobility. But she's also the girl that fell asleep listening to Cogsworth explain the many technicalities to managing servants; because she was stubborn in asserting her authority as the mistress of the castle, and thus she Must have say over its goings ons. But the majordomo's voice can be awfully soothing when he's not high-strung on anxiety, and it's hard to pay attention when you don't understand what's being discussed, so its all going in one ear and out the other. And She's Lumiere's 'Evie', who was so amused when Lumiere would draw on a little mustache when dancing the male roles so the princess could learn some duo dances, or because she didn't look very "waiter-like" (because Eve wasn't entirely sure what a maître d' did, but it seemed to have something to do with waiters), and who got annoyed every time the dance teacher/maître d' would warn her not to hurt her body in her pursuits, because it seemed so silly, why would anyone do that? And she's the girl who dragged Mrs. Potts to have tea with her, because she made the best tea and as princess she would have only the best; and if you're going to have tea you may as well have a tea party, and you can't really have a party of one, but two isn't much of a party either so she's going to drag Babette away from her duties too, since the maid was so elegant and thus would be perfect.
Honestly, the girl probably would've turned out fine if she was raised by just the servants. But they weren't the only forces in her life: she's a princess, so she's got to host and interact with important people and learn how to Be noble which isn't something any of the servants can teach her. And it is under the pressures and eyes of nobility, is in mixing and learning their social rules, that learns the lessons that will lead to her curse: That to be considered human and treated as such, one must look human. And to be such as a woman meant to look beautiful, like the ideal. As a woman, to be worthy is to be beautiful and vice versa. And even if she does not, she must have some way to serve men. Otherwise, she is nothing. Eve met these requirements well, and where she did not yet her authority as princess covered. So when a beggar woman is at her doorstep, the princess turns her away: because she is old, ugly, so long past her 'prime'- there is no worth to her anymore. There is no point caring for her future.
Helene stands as both the middle ground and inverse to the other two. She is an Other by virtue of her mind, she is Objectifiable by virtue of her beauty. She sits on the precipice between Undesirable and Desired, seeming nearly apathetic to where she lands despite popular encouragement to embrace or smother aspects of herself. Helene is quite sure she's a person like anyone else, thank you, and is frankly frustrated and a bit weirded out that others seem to have a hard time getting the memo- she doesn't like or want to assume the worst, though, so maybe she just missed another confusing untold social rule or something. I mean, the local triplets really do seem to be advising in good faith- they really do think of her as one of them to an extent (for reasons Helene is yet to know); they just don't understand her.
When Amalure pursues her, there's an unspoken aspect to the deal of marriage she proposes: Helene will get a secured place on the in of the community, a secure standing the promises people no longer questioning or trying to encourage her to no longer be herself. But Helene just isn't interested in Amalure like that, and she also sees what the real trade-off of that security is; that uncomfortable dehumanization that is exactly what Helene doesn't want to deal with anymore. If Amalure is fine living with it than she is free to do as she pleases, but the huntress doesn't seem to understand what Helene could possibly have a problem with- and it's not like they can discuss it, because it's unspoken, and you're not supposed to speak the unspoken things, because they're unspoken for a reason- even if you don't know what that reason is. Helene knows that rule, at least.
When Helene meets the Beast, she regards her as she does any other. It's plain as day that the Beast has a humanity to her, whether she's really "human" or not- she thinks and she feels, and that's enough for Helene.
Because Helene grew up raised by a single dad who she got most of her brain workings from, and he is a man of compassion and science. Off he'd send his beloved daughter to go and question and figure out the world for herself, to experiment and learn and become whatever she desires. Off to bed he'd send her to tell her fairy tales and have their lessons of love and compassion and humanity understood as she drifted off to sleep. Helene was never Odd with her father, never Other, in fact they were so easily two of a kind. It was so jarring, hearing people imply Tyndare less than sane; his logic paths were so easy to follow- but apparently his voice gruffs enough that others have a hard time understanding what he's saying sometimes, so that's where things seem to get lost in translation she guesses. People became jarring in other ways as she grew up too, because suddenly there seemed to be lots of social things she was supposed to know or be but didn't and wasn't, and it became very apparent very quickly that she was an Other among her village.
Overall: Eve & Helene get to go through these themes through the main plot, and post curse-breaking is when Eve gets to properly deal with the internalized issues and whatnot. Like she's learned beauty doesn't matter when it comes to love, and shouldn't decide whether or not someone should be cared about, and Helene loves her despite her having been beastly and despite her being a failure of a woman- (because she no longer fits the feminine ideal after the curse is broken, and frankly she never will again.) But she's still a Failure Of A Woman and Helene deserves Better Than That! So there's still work to do.
Amalure remains static on this aspect of the narrative until after the battle at the castle, where she does survive! .. barely. and it's later, in an argument with her mother that same night, bleeding out on the kitchen floor, when she asserts that she's her daughter too, not just her fathers. she has always been her daughter, always will be, she is the daughter of both of them, because that's not something that just switches or turns on and off- and it's an entire rant that I will not recite here, but the important part is the assertion that she is, always has been, always will be, the daughter of both her parents at once- that's the first little step for her arc of recognizing her own individual personhood and whatnot.
#Amalure's mother is a CHARACTER alright#she has a ref I need to make too...#fun fact Amalure falls asleep in her childhood bed that night being convinced the last thing she did was yell at her mom#and acutely aware that there is no comfort for her in this house.#Wire monkey mother frfr#anyways uh hi.#how obvious is it that the person making this is a she/it ND sapphic???#because Hi hello that is I#Yes Helene is VERY definitely Neurodivergent.#I can easily say she's autistic because the traits she displays are most commonly associated w/ it#but tbh I don't have autism and I didn't give her those traits with specifically autism in mind or research#so she's just.. generally Not Neurotypical.#project whatever you want onto her as you will#Fun fact the physique change Eve gets after being uncursed is me finding a justification for me basing part of her design on thinking that#Amalure seeing her and immediately having the Worst gender envy of her life since her dad died#while Eve is having like the worst body image issues of her life#would be kinda funny lowk#Also I might have a type but shhhhhhh#anywayss uhhh#gem stop yapping in ur tags#ramblez brambles#doodlez#I just did some mild editing w/ the ref art cuz I'm too lazy to make new shit for this and I didn't want this to Just be a text post#Princess Eve#Helene#Amalure#sorry of any of this is rambly/hard to read I randomly woke up at like 2:30am#idk when I started writing this post but idr doing much of anything beforehand besides making the little banner thing#and it's... 6:13am now.#batb: Other Than Human
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A few people in the tags on my Agatha romance plot line poll are voicing the same sorts of thoughts I had. I did not like her romance plot line because she had all these lines in the two previous books that, to me and many others, were implying her aromanticism. To have a chapter from her POV where she expresses feeling broken due to a suspected inability to feel that type of attraction only to later have this “resolved” by her finding the right person was extremely frustrating and disappointing.
Even beyond an aro reading of the character, it’s disappointing to see her coupled up at the end of the third book. So much of the first book was about subverting the expectations that come from these types of stories. One of these expectations seemed to me to be not just that the chosen one gets the perfect girl, but that all the characters are neatly coupled up by the end and have romance as a part of their story. In the first book not only is Agatha not with Simon, the chosen one, her supposed destiny, she’s not interested in coupling up and fulfilling that expectation placed on her by the world in which she lives and by the type of story she inhabits, at all. It feels like backtracking on her character growth to watch a romance play out for her in the third book.
#this is made worse to me that Penny also has a romance plot line in the final book#so we’ve gone from book one where some characters couple up#one starts and ends in a relationship that isn’t important to the story or her personal character arc#and one chooses to run off on her own#to book three where all main characters have romance arcs#not my favorite! when I loved the way the first book handled romance plot lines so much#I do think there is an argument to be made that ignoring an aromantic reading#agatha ending up with a woman does not necessarily walk back character traits and development from carry on#because she’s running away from a heteronormative world#but is too trapped within those expectations to yet realize#she may experience attraction to women instead#but 1. when she talks about wishing she had a crush on a girl because it would explain things about her#that feels pretty clearly aromantic to me#and 2. I HATE when a character feels like something is wrong with them because they aren’t falling in love#and the resolution to that conflict is them falling in love#makes my aromantic heart very angry#I don’t say any of this as a dig at people who did enjoy it . Just my thoughts on the matter#Simon says#agatha wellbelove#fine tooth comb
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sobbing over the thought of mr reca calling you ‘my little starlet’ >.<
but he says it like my leetle starrrlet! 。゚(。ノωヽ。)゚。
#*throws a fit*#。゚(゚ノД`゚)゚。#i dreamt about him last night#it was a sleazy thing#in his trailer#anyway clearly i have a fucking problem#it makes me laugh too because like yeah obv he’s handsome and he’s got some white hair which is always a huge plus for me#but it makes me laugh because it’s like;;;; wow clari is that REALLY all he has to do/be??? a director/cinephile?????#yeah i guess i’m just That Easy#/super attracted to people who have the same passions as me#shrugs#oh well#could be worse!!!!!#to be fair it does seem like he has other traits i love in fictional men but yeah#the film bit clearly Got Me#girl loves film so much she loves anyone ELSE who ALSO loves film#bonus points if you’re a slightly sleazy slightly psycho old man <333#HAHAHAHA#the way griffin’s ‘baby i love you i miss you i can’t live without you’ song just came on shuffle#alright sunday i see you sit down#(the way i have this song saved to my favourites????? pathetic)#(i just love his voice so much leave me alone)#clari chatters#inky.reca
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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#in case anyone wanted to know my thought has always been ghost or Possibly something else (sprite-adjacent or some other kind of spirit?)#it seemed pretty straightforward to me that she’d likely be a ghost if/when she’s back considering her physical body is definitely dead#and at this point probably either buried or cremated (given she was shipped to japan probably the latter)#so. even as some sort of undead (zombie talk being potential foreshadowing) it seems unlikely. and god I hope they wouldn’t do that to her#I’m like 96% set on ghost. potentially a special kind of ghost or spirit or something?? given her weird circumstances#if she came back as a living breathing human (again possibly with some weird new traits) that BETTER mean the sprites also come back as#humans can you imagine#what would they even DO#rambling#polls#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#niko#niko sasaki
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that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this
please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it
(rambles in tags)
#murder drones#murder drones ep 8#murder drones spoilers#md ep 8 spoilers#have i literally ever posted abt md on here i fucking LOVE md. me specifically as an alter especially it is my fave show <3#i want to BE cyn fr fr. shes soooo gender envy#0ph3li4.txt#i would word my thoughts more but even tho im a system myself im SOOOO fucking scared other systems will say 'wtf are u on abt'#but like#i dont think uzi's experience is a 1.1 paralell with being a system obv but i think functionally itd be v similar (to my experiences)#the previous hosts of the solver. cyn included. are not alters per se. i dont think uzi would use that term for them anywayz. but they are-#part of uzi and her 'brain' and whatnot. yk?#kind of like a new host taking over#so like#cyn /solver might be the main one uzi has to deal with#but i feel like theres potential that she could deal with the other hosts too.#do you think original cyn is in there at all?#ugh im gonna get so much flack for using the wrong term so lemme just start I KNOW INTEGRATION AND FUSION OR WHATEVER ARE DIFFERENT!!#that being said#i prefer the term integration to fusion. so.#in this scenario / au whatever i like to imagine original cyn is integrated with another part. most likely solver itself.#and in our experience with alters integating (not universal!!). some of their traits/mannerisms wear off on that part! so solver probably-#gained some of original cyn's personality traits / mannerims. but is still its own person.#tessa could also be part of the 'system' even tho she wasnt a host per se#idk#im yappin#please send asks abt this i will ramble forever and ever
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Just thinking about all those comments and posts on tiktok that your sona — a character that is a representation, an interpretation of you on the internet — should look exactly like you. That you can't make your sona look prettier than you, make them perfect and give them everything you want.
But art is all about creativity and fun. Why restrict ourselves? Why spoil fun of others? Why should we limit our artistic crearivity and freedom just because someone doesn't like that we and our sonas don't look realistic.
It is not a self-portrait. We don't draw ourselves in realistic styles so it is just us but on paper or screen. Art is for us to use it how we want. Do you want to make your sona as pretty as you want? Do you want your sona to have some animal traits? To have crazy hair or cool outfits? You think this will show how you are? How you want others to perceive you? Then go for it! If you have fun with it and in the end, you are satisfied with the results, it is all that matters.
So to everyone that feels like they should change their sonas or can't use them or anything, just because some people can't take others having fun... It is not their characters. They are not you, it is not them drawing your sona. You know the best what you want to represent and how you want to look. Don't let them take from you the joy of drawing anything.
#and most people who says that cant even draw#and who are they to say who is pretty and who is not???#why is it so important to them that some sonas just look different?#because maybe my sona is more pretty than me but she also has goat and cat traits#and what of it? i still feel like she looks just like me#my sona is goldyluna#she is me and nothing can say otherwise#so let's fuck what others think!#and just have fun with drawing#tiktok is a plague#tiktok is hell#tiktok kills the joy#sona#sonas#original character#original characters#drawing#artist#vent#rambling#goldyluna talks shit#tiktok
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in therapy today i just talked about the dark urge and astarion and my therapist was elated about it. it was fantastic. “wow you’ve really been using this story and those characters to process things. that’s amazing!”
the era of being ashamed of my interests is over. it’s apparently Cool and Healthy to use fiction to cope. i wish i could tell fifteen year old me about this it would blow her mind
#origpost#shaedan plays bg3#bad brains blogging#you’re gonna have to pry SFF from my cold dead hands because ‘this creature is not human but nonetheless a person’ is THE most#important thing ever actually#i love taking my feelings and experiences and externalising and concretising them through metaphor#my favourite thing about astarion is how he both has literal cptsd AND metaphorically through his vampirism#that fucking rules#also shoutout to another thing therapist said today:#she was originally sceptical of my potentially having autism#then she was like ‘ok you have some traits but you’re probably not diagnosable’#then today she was like ‘you make so much sense when one thinks of you through the lense of autism’#amen sister i’ve been right there with you#but now i’m getting my second assessment soon! which won’t change anything about me i am and will be ‘tism-y regardless#but it’s going to be interesting to see what happens#also i told her about my WISC scores and she was like ‘jesus christ tell them to evaluate you for adhd too’ so uhhh#they already screened me for that and i believe i tested negative but let’s see#the WISC score was why i was even referred for an assessment so
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Everyone, remind me to not trust my dad’s relatives with food and parties because they can’t do even that much the right way. The peoples are so questionable 💀
#— ❥ kelrambles;#.text#also don’t get me started on my jobless cousin telling me she found 5 jobs FOR ME but they all seem just like… scam…#because girl why are you trusting instagram ads now to find yourself a job???? 😭💀#but her finding five jobs for me while she is jobless and with a kid to raise it’s what actually takes me out#albanian relatives feels WAAAAAAY too entitled to thing they shouldn’t be feeling entitled about#literally mind your fucking business???#you the same girl who called me immature when i had a breakdown from stress in the hardest moment of my life#and now you come to me acting like you didn’t project your entire being and existence on me???? bitch go away???#she narcissistic arrogant presumptuous bossy and stuck up as hell because picking only one bad trait felt too insulting to her#literally stop chasing after me and chase after your 4yo son????? 😭#anyways… some peoples needs a reality check and to be humbled so bad#she the same who tells me that i can’t talk back because i dropped out of school… like i wasn’t forced by our relatives to do that lmfao#she has regarded me with the heinous shits EVER since i was a kid but the bad one is always me when i talk back to her 🫥#get so much why diego doesn’t pull up to any family gathering and stays away from these peoples 🤭
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And by the way just to add some like...angst to my sea beast s/i I guess 😂 I was thinking about the research I did into old selkie folk tales and how they typically tend to go and how it applies to my s/i with Batterbie stealing her coat.
1. She did it when she was still just a child and had lost her whole family, so she probably holds that over her head by saying she's lucky to have had a place to stay and food to eat at ALL and 2. That she could have it...a LOT worse 😬
#jane journals#self insert talk#🌊 how deep is your love? 🌊#idk ive done a lot of research into selkie mythology and their folklore#among their traits is apparently being particularly alluring! must be that seal charm 😂#but because of that their coats tend to be stolen by hopeful suitors to prevent them from returning to the sea#essentially FORCING them into a marriage they...probably dont want#and the whole time they have an INTENSE yearning for the sea#so batterbie forces my s/i into indentured servitude and shes bored out of her MIND#could be worse right 😂#idk if thatd like...have an effect on her tho. at the risk of getting a bit too dark i have experience with these types of mother figures :/#theres a really mixed feeling that comes with it#i wonder if my s/i would have any kind of fear of other people or at least of intimacy in any real way#i mean she lives on a 'bad people' island so shes definitely not some shy demure figure#shes like...rapunzel but a little more jaded 😂 which is why it means SO MUCH to her when jacob gets her coat back for her#and DOESNT use it as a way to make her indebted to him somehow#he does it to make HER happy#and in turn she tries to GIVE it to him as a show of trust now that she has the freedom to do so 🥺🥺🥺#idkkkk im rambling now#just on me mind tho
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I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes
#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits#but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el#like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’#the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’#shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE#I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’#and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH#whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do#with it#also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing#just thoughts idk#and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic#they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’#like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx#also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else#but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice#one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’#and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me??????#so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha……#this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much#I hate my fucking job….#kaz rambles
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