#and she goes by charles obviously because everyone and their mother has the first name maria in southern europe
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HAND OVER THE FF LESTAPPEN
alright, check it out
Charles blames the Instagram algorithm, when one day she’s scrolling aimlessly only to come across pictures of Max Verstappen in a bikini.
Max lounging on her stomach across a sunbed under the European sun next to a cerulean sea, the band of her dark blue bikini riding up, sitting snug across her muscular shoulders peppered with moles and the unmistakable shape of a fading wine-coloured mark high up on the curve of her shoulder that makes something in Charles's throat curdle and sets something strange and deep in her core alight.
She sends it to Pierre immediately, because of course she does.
Charles Look at this shit. She probably called the paps on herself.
And that’s the odd feeling deep in her stomach, it’s anger, the fact that Max can be snapped near naked on a strange foreign beach without consequence and Charles has to be careful that the knee-length skirt she wears on errands in Monaco doesn’t get blown up, lest she gets another embarrassing lecture from Mattia on her public image. Be careful Charletta, he would say, Santina is a better nickname than Puttana. Puttana, a fitting word to describe Max’s recent endeavours, really. Charles’s socials have been pushing her the pictures all week. Max outside bars, hanging onto tall men who make more in a year than Charles would care to mention, their young pretty wives off to the side with them, seemingly resigned to the fate of what’s happening. After all, who could compete with Max Verstappen, champion of the world?
#the vague idea is charles leclerc heavily repressed lesbian with a shit ton of internalised misogyny AND lesbophobia#also in this version charles gets the nickname santina instead of/on top of el predestinata#mainly because of this whole idea in media culture of women must be passive in their narrative#basically it's fi takes on a man-centred world view and takes an unwilling ff lestappen along with her#lestappen#fic bits#also charles is still charles because a. i cannot name swap when i genderbend#and b. i decided charles was catholic so it would be appropriate for her to just be named maria charles leclerc#and she goes by charles obviously because everyone and their mother has the first name maria in southern europe#ALSO MATTIA USES THE DIMINUTIVE FORM WITH CHARLES'S NAME BECAUSE HE'S A MISOGYNISTIC ASSHOLE!#anyway fun facts with fi#i've thought this out#maybe now that work calms down i'll get around to writing this properly i anticipate it to be maybe like a 30k oneshot
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Reference To Heathers In Dead Boy Detectives
I was going through some of my notebooks and journals yesterday, and I found a composition notebook I got from a concert-style performance of Heathers: The Musical. It has yellow typewriter-style stickers on it that says the very first line of the show.
"September 1st, 1989: Dear Diary..."
My brain buffered so hard I gasped out loud. Obviously, that's the same year Charles died. At first, I was like, "Oh that's a cool coincidence!"
But then my brain went deeper, because I have seen and reblogged a piece of fanart of the Dead Boys with a caption referencing a quote from the film that was turned into a musical number: "I love my dead, gay son."
For those who are confused as hell, probably cause you're unfamiliar with the film/show, this is when I started to think it might not be a coincidence, and I'll explain why!
Brad & Hunter = Ram & Kurt
Anyone who knows Heathers is probably starting to be like, "OMG that's a great comparison!" But I'm not sure if this is just a comparison, or actually a hidden reference to Heathers.
⚠️ Warning! ⚠️ Heathers is a black comedy, also referred to as a dark comedy or morbid humor, meaning it makes light of subject matter that is generally considered taboo, particularly subjects that are normally considered serious or painful to discuss. TW: suicide, murder, attempted nonconsensual sex, homophobia Short Synopsis of Heathers: Veronica tries to join a toxic clique of three girls named Heather who rule high school. A new bad boy named Jason Dean, JD for short, arrives at the school. The two of them develop a relationship that leads to the murders and coverups of several of their incredibly toxic classmates.
(For those who want more specifics, to better understand the movie, keep reading. For those who don't need or want to read it, skip down to where the text turns back to the end of the parathesis and the text goes back to normal size.
Veronica was a nobody, but is gradually being inducted into the Heathers group. There are three Heathers: Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara. Veronica is an excellent forger, able to replicate hand writing. JD is new to school and gets sought out at lunch by the two biggest jocks, Ram and Kurt. They try to intimidate him, but it backfires because he pulls out a handgun. He shoots at them with blank bullets, scaring the shit out of them.
JD is a deeply traumatized and troubled person due to his shitty father, and the fact that his mother committed suicide in front of him when he was a kid by entering a building she knew was about to be demolished by her husband's construction company. His view on humanity is skewed and grim, and he can get violent when provoked or angered. He believes in extreme action to a sociopathic level, in this case, removing the problematic people who are the root of the toxicity in order to make a happier society.
Veronica and JD get into a relationship after she fights with Heather Chandler at a party. They go over to her house in the morning to suck up to her, but it ends in her death (will be explained). To cover it up, Veronica forges a suicide note.
JD sees it as a win, because with her gone and the contents of her fake suicide note, everyone is starting to be nicer to each other and be more open about their feelings. Veronica is torn up because she accidentally killed her "best friend" and "worst enemy", and also sees JD's point.
It spirals from there, but that should be enough specifics of the plot and characters for you to understand the rest of the essay better, at least in the sense of the tone of the film.)
Heather Chandler, the first victim, was killed because Veronica accidentally gave her toxic sink cleaner JD had joked about giving her instead of the hangover cure they're concocting. They stage it as a suicide so they don't get in trouble, but Veronica is a bit shaken, obviously. It was an accident, at least for her; JD saw her pick up the wrong mug and chose not to tell her.
The next victim, or victims, is a pair of jocks who are the coolest guys on the football team, Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly. They sexually assault Veronica (unsuccessfully), lie about it to the school newspaper, claiming they had a threesome to humiliate her. She's upset, JD is furious, and they are the most toxic guys in the school. JD comes up with the idea to "prank" them; they'll "shoot" them and make it look like a gay suicide pact with a note and stereotypical gay items, humiliating them when they wake up. This is the '80s, so homophobia was super common.
Veronica thinks they're going to use fake bullets on them, but JD obviously lies and puts real bullets in the guns. They do the "prank", JD kills Ram, but Veronica misses Kurt. She's laughing because they scared the shit out of them, but JD chases him down to finish the job. She realizes Ram is not unconscious, but dead, and JD kills Kurt as well. They stage it as a gay suicide pact in order not to get caught, again.
A funeral is held for the two boys, and in the film, one of their father's goes up to the casket and tearfully declares he's not going to be homophobic anymore, ending with the line: "I love my dead, gay son."
A line so iconic that it got an entire musical number in the musical adaptation, with the line being the title and part of the chorus. It is absolutely hilarious.
Now, let's break that down into a simplified list:
two jocks who the coolest members on their team
said jocks have a reputation of mistreating girls
said mistreatment of girls leads to their murder
said murder is covered up by making it look like something self-induced
said murder is also committed unintentionally with the goal simply to make them unconscious
The fifth episode of Dead Boy Detectives is the same thing in a different font! Brad and Hunter were to two most popular jocks, on the baseball team rather than football team. They treated girls horribly, something Ram and Kurt were also notorious for. It's because of the way they treated Maren that they end up being killed, just like Ram and Kurt's treatment of Veronica is the cause for their deaths. Both of the murders are made to look self-induced, an intentional suicide pact for Ram and Kurt, and an accidental alcohol poisoning for Brad and Hunter. Both murders are also not intended to be murders by the girls behind them; Veronica and Maren both believe that they will only be knocking them out, not killing them.
That is a lot of specific parallels!
But what makes me even more suspicious of it being intentional is the fact that Twitchy Richie literally says, "But I also heard they died in a secret gay suicide pact."
Back in the '80s? Unfortunately somewhat common, that's why they used in Heathers. It was made in the '80s and takes place in the '80s. Veronica and JD used it because it was easy to believe, and unlikely to draw suspicion. Back then, if something looked like a suicide, complete with a forged note, props, and whatnot, they tended not to bother investigating further; that's especially believable for a gay suicide since homophobia was so high.
Now? Definitely wouldn't be one of the first explanations you would think of. If a pair of guys died in a car accident, or surfing, or an activity they are doing together, and they did not have any indicators of it being suicide and/or queer (straight dudes Brad and Hunter's alcohol poisoning), I'm pretty sure "secret gay suicide pact" would not come up in the conversation by anyone other than conspiracy theorists, or dickheads like Richie. Crystal even refers to him bringing it up and making the "giving each other hand jobs" comment as him making "gay jokes". It's not even remotely considered to be an actual theory. He said it just to be an asshole.
There's also a small correlation that the only other victim in Heathers is Heather Chandler. Of the three victims, she's the only girl, and she also "commits suicide", at least in the eyes of the public. There is a third death relating to Brad and Hunter's case: Shelby. She's the singular female victim who actually commits suicide.
That is just too many similarities and parallels for it to be a coincidence, right? This all has to be an intentional nod to Heathers, right??
(ko-fi)
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JOSIEVERSE Q&A
I’ve compiled a list of questions and answered them in order to have one easy post to refer to. Questions and their answers below!
How did Robin get pregnant?
While in college, Robin was casually seeing a trans woman named Valerie Hensley. Robin describes the relationship to Steve as ‘girlfriends with an expiry date’ since Val is set to graduate a year before Robin does. They break things off when Robin gets pregnant.
What’s Josie like?
Very chatty, more than anything. She's grown up constantly surrounded by people so she's a very social kid with a very active imagination. She's creative and athletic, which Eddie jokes she inherited from Steve via osmosis, though Steve keeps pointing out Robin used to be on a soccer team.
She's dyslexic so she struggles with reading and languages. She gets easily frustrated when she struggles, but she has a lot of accommodations at home to help her.
She's quite blunt with communication and doesn't shy away from asking things. Robin always encourages her to ask questions and question things, so there's a fair few instances where the school call Robin because of Josie's 'misbehaviour', though they regret it every time Robin shows up and backs Josie up.
She's charismatic and empathic too. She's clumsy like Robin and tends to jump from interest to interest, more of a jack of all trades than specialising in one core thing.
When she's a teenager, she figures out she's bisexual, and she finds a love of cars. Steve works as a mechanic so Josie often helps him out there in her spare time after school, and officially starts working there a few years later.
What are everyone’s relationships to Josie?
Robin is obviously her mother and they're close.
Steve and Eddie are unofficial uncles, not-quite-dads but not-quite-not-dads either. Steve is technically also her stepfather as he and Robin get lavender married when Josie's four, but none of them view it like that. They're just her Steve and her Deedee.
Mike is Josie's favourite person after the first three. He takes a shining to her pretty much immediately.
Wayne's Josie's granddad in the greatest sense. Her grandmother figures are Claudia Henderson and later Steve's mother Virginia. Robin's mother, Ingrid, isn't part of her life, and Robin's father died before Josie was born.
Sue and Charles Sinclair also treat Josie as a granddaughter, insisting on spoiling her. In their eyes, Robin and Steve are Their Kids even if they aren't their kids, you know?
Erica goes for the title of best aunt immediately. She loves Josie and makes it her mission to teach her as much mayhem as possible.
Lucas, Max and Dustin are all close to Josie, though they usually see her as a group. Jonathan, Argyle, Will and El are similar, but in their own group. Josie basically fits the role of 'exciting new thing in the group' AKA first kid born so everyone immediately dotes on her.
What ships are in the universe?
For Robin, her relationships vary through the years, but at first it’s her and Val. They break things off before Josie is born. When Josie’s small, Robin has a one night stand with Eden Bingham, but Eden’s only visiting Hawkins so they both agree it was a one time thing. There’s a bubblescoops arc where Carol returns to Hawkins when Josie’s around four years old but it doesn’t work out between them. The endgame romantic relationship for Robin is Nancy, who returns to Hawkins when Josie is six and a half years old.
There’s also background ships! Steve/Eddie is the most prominent as they’re Robin’s best friends. There’s also Mike/Will, Jonathan/Argyle, Hopper/Joyce, El/Max/Lucas, Dustin/Suzie, Erica/Tabitha (Suzie’s younger sister), Jeff/Samantha (corroded coffin guitarist & the goth girl at the s2 party) and Claudia/Wayne. Some are mentioned more than others and they’re established at different points over the years.
If this is a ronance AU, where is Nancy prior?
Nancy slowly drifted from everyone in college. She and Robin in particular had a rough window where Robin withdrew once she discovered she was pregnant and Nancy didn’t know, and Nancy pulled back from the rest of them in response. She’s living in New York and only has brief contact with Mike, though she hates that she let it get to that point.
Why didn't Robin or Nancy reach out to the other?
In Robin's case, it's a mix of fear and miscommunication. After Josie's born, she thinks that Mrs Wheeler told Nancy about Josie after a comment she makes. Since Nancy doesn't reach out, Robin thinks that Nancy doesn't want to be a part of her life, and her priority is Josie.
In Nancy's case, she's already pulling away from everyone when Robin suddenly withdraws from her. I think Nancy would try to put Hawkins behind her and by association slowly lose contact with everyone else in favour of throwing herself into her career, and she'd only recognise it distantly until it abruptly hits her. By that point, Nancy figures the damage is done.
What does Nancy think of Josie? Or of Robin having a kid?
Nancy is completely thrown by Robin having a kid. She doesn't let it deter her, though: she wants to be a part of Josie's life, especially after seeing how involved everyone else is. Her main struggle is with her feelings for Robin surging back to her while she's still trying to adjust to everything because she doesn't want to upend anything.
As for Josie, Nancy adores her. She's a smart kid, but she's also pretty blunt, which Nancy takes a little bit to get used to. At the core of it, though, Nancy knew from the moment she met her that she'd love her, purely for the fact that she's Robin's.
How does Robin feel about having a kid?
She was terrified, initially. Less at the thought of being a parent, more of the possibility of bringing someone into the world and screwing them up like her family always seemed to do.
She loves having a kid, though. She didn't expect parenthood to be something that she'd ever experience, but she genuinely thinks that Josie is the greatest kid in the world and she's constantly amazed that she's her mom. Like, she knows parents can be biased towards their children, but she really thinks Josie is the best thing that could've ever happened to her.
Does Val ever meet Josie?
Yes! It’s explored in the segment where Nancy returns. Val comes to find Robin and wants to meet their daughter. She doesn’t exactly take on a parental role to Josie but they do have a relationship, Josie visits her a couple of times a year and Val attends important events!
What does Josie call the parental figures in her life?
Robin is 'Mama' and later 'Mom'.
Eddie is 'Deedee' because that's what she called him when she was an infant and the name stuck. Steve is 'Uncle Steve' and then just 'Steve'.
Valerie gets called 'Val' and Nancy is still 'Nancy' because Val isn't quite an active parent in her life and Nancy kinda falls in the same vein as Steve and Eddie in Josie's eyes.
Wayne is 'Grandpa', Claudia is 'Nana', Steve's mom Virginia is 'Grandma Ginny' and Sue and Charles Sinclair are Auntie Sue and Uncle Charles respectively.
#stranger things#robin buckley#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#eddie munson#stobin#ronance#steddie#josieverse#lavenderstobins josieverse#josie buckley#long post#q&a#josieverse lore#my aus#single parent robin au
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I Carry Your Heart With Me (Prologue)
Summary: When your college roommate asks you to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, you pack your bags and jump on a flight to Montana. What was supposed to be a relaxing week on the husband-to-be’s ranch is turned upside down when an old flame decides to make an appearance. Mix in lingering feelings, a meddling bride, and the mother of all misunderstandings, and your week out west turns out to be a whole lot more than you bargained for.
series masterlist
playlist
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex
Word Count: 2.5k
Spencer gets the email on a Tuesday.
He’s fresh off of a quick trip to a nearby café that sells the most delectable scones, and he’s eagerly unwrapping one and lifting it to his mouth when he gets the notification. The quiet ping is enough to make him pause with the scone midway to its destination.
Because the thing is, Spencer Reid doesn’t get a lot of emails. In fact, there are approximately ten people that even know his email address, and seven of them are currently in the same room as him. Spencer peers over the top of his monitor and scans the room. No one is doing anything indicative of having sent Spencer yet another prank email (thanks a lot, Luke), so he deems it safe and clicks on the email icon.
As it boots up, Spencer takes a bite of his scone. The warm, sugary dough tastes like heaven in his mouth, once again proving to Spencer that the fifteen-minute walk there is more than worth his time. He’s mid-swallow when his inbox pops up on the screen, and when he sees the all too familiar name on the sender’s address, he inhales a sharp breath that leaves him choking on his pastry.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Melville
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Sewell
Joyfully request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children
Cassidy and Mason
Saturday, the twenty-seventh of May
Two thousand nine-teen
His choking fit garners the attention of every one of his colleagues, but Spencer can’t bring himself to care. All he can focus on is sucking in as much air as possible in between coughs. It doesn’t help that his oxygen deprived brain is currently reeling. Long suppressed memories are fighting their way to the surface, and now it’s not only his lungs that are engulfed in a searing heat, but his heart, too.
Cassidy Sewell. A fiery, opinionated redhead that Spencer hasn’t thought of in nearly fifteen years. But Cassidy isn’t the reason that he feels like a knife has been thrust into his ribcage, nor is she the reason he is currently aspirating his scone. The basis of his distress is another woman entirely.
Spencer eventually regains control of his windpipe and when he does, he rereads the email several times. It’s wonderful news - really, it is. And he’s happy for Cassidy. His memories of her are plentiful and he thinks back on them fondly. The only problem is that he knows wherever Cassidy is, you’ll be there, too.
He really should just delete the email and go on about his business - that would be the smart thing to do. But Spencer’s never really been smart when it comes to you, so he does the worst thing possible and clicks on the ‘view recipients’ button.
And sure enough, your name falls just above his on the list.
Which brings up another issue entirely; why is he receiving this email? And, more importantly, do you know that he’s been invited? Spencer can only come up with two possible answers to that question, and both are equally heartbreaking. Either you know he’s been invited and you’re indifferent to the fact, or you haven’t a clue and his showing up would be entirely inappropriate.
He briefly entertains the possibility of a third option; one in which you knew he’d received an invitation and were hopeful that he might show up. Spencer allows this possibility to live in his mind for approximately two seconds before he’s stomping it out and killing it. That’s just… unlikely.
“Ooh! Who’s getting married?”
Spencer quickly exits out of his email and spins around in his chair to find Penelope pouting her lip out at him.
“No one. Just a spam email,” Spencer lies. His efforts are in vain, however, because Penelope fixes him with an unimpressed glare.
“I’m going to save you and I both the trouble of me hacking into your computer and offer you the opportunity to try that again.”
Spencer visibly deflates and mentally curses the creators of the interconnected computer networks. He weighs his options. He could be completely honest and be subjected Penelope’s endearing, yet suffocating enthusiasm, or he could skim a little bit off the top and hope she doesn’t pump him for information.
Spencer decides on the latter.
“An old friend.”
Penelope narrows her eyes at him and he shrinks under her gaze. She might not be a profiler, but she damn sure could be.
“Then why do you look like you’re about to hurl?”
“No reason.”
They’ve reached a stalemate, and Spencer isn’t quite sure what to do with that. Usually, if this were a chest match, Spencer would already have the upper hand. He’s not used to being backed into a corner. At first, Spencer’s sure that he can outlast Penelope’s inquisition, but the longer those seemingly omniscient eyes of hers bore into his own, he can feel his resolve crumbling into nothing. All it takes is her lifting one perfectly plucked eyebrow in challenge for him to break.
“An ex-girlfriend of mine will be in attendance.”
Spencer knows he’s fucked from the way Penelope’s entire face lights up upon hearing that little tidbit of information. In a flash Penelope’s dragging over an empty chair and seating herself directly in front of Spencer, eyes shining excitedly.
“Tell me everything.”
So, he does.
And an hour later, Penelope is booking him a flight to Montana.
--
“I cannot believe you did this to me,” you murmur into the receiver as you stare at your computer screen. Your eyes are zeroed in on the email, but all the words are blurring together into an intelligible mess. All except two.
Spencer Reid
“Correction; I did this for you,” Cassidy replies, sounding awfully pleased with herself. If you could see her, you were certain she’d be grinning ear to ear. “You can’t tell me that you’re not the least bit excited at the possibility of seeing him again.”
“That is exactly what I’m telling you!” you groan as you throw your head against the back of your chair. “Fifteen years is a long time, Cass. I’ve moved on, and I’m sure he has, too. That door is closed.”
Cassidy snorts, “Well open that sucker back up, because I just got an RSVP from one Doctor Spencer Reid who, and I quote, ‘cannot wait to see everyone.’ This RSVP came without a plus one, might I add.”
You jolt up in your seat and instantly regret it when your stomach churns painfully as a result. Suddenly, your decision to place your waste basket on the opposite side of the room seems awfully ill advised. The only thing keeping you from lunging for it and expelling the contents of your stomach is the fact that he isn’t bringing anyone with him, which is… something.
“He’s coming?” you squeak out. “Why would he do that?”
Another laugh from Cassidy floats out through the speaker.
“Well, I’d like to think he might be going to see one of his oldest and dearest friends get married, but I think we both know that this has nothing to do with me, and a whole lot to do with you.”
You’re just about to open your mouth to protest when a head of long, blonde hair peeks through the crack of your door. You only know one man with a head of hair like that, and that man just so happens to be the only other person in your life that lives for taking the piss at your expense. You can’t help but think that you must’ve done something terrible in a past life to be subjected to all of this before noon on a Tuesday morning.
You wave Damien in, because why the hell not? He’d be hearing about it over one or several bottles of wine this evening, anyways. What was one more spectator to the worst moment of your entire adult life?
As he takes his seat in a chair in front of your desk, you flash him a tight smile and turn your attention back to Cassidy.
“You’re reading way too much into this. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”
“You know that boy does not forget anything,” Cassidy points out.
Yeah, you think, and that’s what makes not hearing from him for fifteen years even worse. That means the radio silence was a choice.
“Doesn’t matter. You need to uninvite him. I’m being so serious right now.”
“I absolutely will not. That’d be terribly rude of me,” Cassidy sniffs. “And you obviously have no choice but to attend, Miss Maid of Honor, so consider this your warning. I was going to keep this a secret, but Mason said that would be cruel. So.”
You want to argue that the entire thing is cruel, but Cassidy’s indifference to your plight leads you to believe that your protest would fall on deaf ears. To make matters worse, Damien looks positively delighted at the prospect of something exciting happening. He’s literally sitting on the edge of his seat, leaning forward in an attempt to hear Cassidy’s end of the conversation.
You really needed to pick more sympathetic friends.
“I’m going to hang up now, because I physically cannot handle being a part of this conversation any longer.”
“That’s the spirit!” Cassidy trills. “Trust me, you’re going to thank me for this later. Oh, and do yourself a favor and Google search him. You will not be disappointed!”
At that, the line goes dead. You don’t even have the chance to say something embarrassing like too late, I already do that like twice a year, which is probably a good thing.
You slam down the phone and let your head fall into your hands, adding in a dramatic groan for good measure. Usually, you like to think you’re a little more level headed, but the Spencer Reid sized hole in your heart that you’d been trying to mend for the last decade and a half was just ripped wide open, so you figure you deserve a moment to panic.
Damien, however, doesn’t share that same belief.
“I get that you’re trying to have a moment, and I respect that, but you know how impatient I get and I haven’t seen you this upset since One Direction split up. Color me intrigued. What did dear Cassidy do to get your knickers in such a twist?”
You lift your head and fix him with a withering look.
“She invited Spencer.”
That wipes the smile right off of Damien’s face.
“Oh, fuck,” Damien swears. Finally, someone understands how extremely not okay this situation is. You let out another despairing groan. “What are the chances he’s actually going to show up?”
You chuckle bitterly, “Pretty fucking high, if you consider the fact that he already RSVP’d any indication.” You push away from your desk and begin to pace around the room, all while fanning your shirt out because holy hell did it get hot in here, or is it just you? “I mean, I could always back out. It’s Cassidy’s fault anyways. It’s not like she could hold that against me. She’s the one who did this, after all.”
“Oh, she most certainly would. And you’re not going to going to skip out on the wedding - quit being so dramatic.”
You snap your head to where he sits and narrow your eyes at him.
“Oh, I’m not? Who’s gonna stop me?” you challenge.
You can practically see the light bulb go on inside that blonde head of his. Damien gives you a saccharine smile and claps his hands together.
“I am. Because I’m going to go with you,” he announces excitedly. You’d think he just came up with a way to end world hunger from the pride that’s practically radiating off of him in waves.
You raise an eyebrow at him, “You’re going to come with me? To Montana? Have you ever even been outside of New York?”
Damien shrugs his shoulders.
“No, but that’s about to change. Plus, weddings are fun,” Damien pauses, before tacking on, “-bridesmaids are fun.”
If he weren’t such a damn good friend, you’d throw him out of your office.
His proposition was tempting. Being in close proximity with Spencer for almost an entire week was going to be harrowing as it was, but add to that the inevitable sight of Spencer in a suit and harrowing graduates to fucking excruciating. Having Damien in your corner to keep you sane was more of a necessity than a want.
But still, you hesitate, because the idea of both Cassidy and Damien conspiring against you for an entire week sounds like the undiscovered tenth circle of hell.
Damien apparently senses your apprehension. He lets out an exasperated sigh and pushes up from his seat, walking over to where you stand and placing his hands on your shoulders.
“I solemnly swear to be on my best behavior. You have my permission to fire me if I act up, Boss Lady.”
Your shoulders slump under the weight of his hands.
“You know I can’t fire you,” you grumble, pouting out your lip for dramatic effect. “If I fire you, then I’m stuck with fucking Brenda. And I doubt she’d be as agreeable a drinking partner as you.”
Damien lets out a loud laugh and pulls you into his arms. You melt into his embrace, sighing in resignation. Might as well bring him along for the ride. It’s not like the situation could get any worse than it already is, right?
“Brenda is the worst,” Damien agrees as he places a kiss to the top of your head. After basking in his warm embrace for several moments, you pull away and run a hand through your hair.
“Okay. Okay,” you murmur, more to yourself than to Damien. “I can do this. Worst comes to worst; I can just avoid him. Five days isn’t that long. I can do five days.”
Damien leans up against your desk and nods in agreeance.
“Exactly. Five days, in and out – no big deal,” he breezes. Like the absolute bastard he is, he waits until you’re taking a sip from your travel mug before continuing. “And who knows? Maybe the two of you will pick up where you left off and have some slutty wedding sex.”
Now, there’s coffee all over your white blouse and Damien���s laughing obnoxiously at your expense.
“You did not just quote One Tree Hill at me,” you choke out between ragged breaths.
Damien doesn’t waver under the weight of your death glare.
“I so did. Best show of our time, truly. Chase hit the nail on the head with that one. Weddings are always an absolute bone fest - trust me. Something about all the proclamations of love and eternal commitment gets everyone all hot and bothered.”
“There will be no slutty wedding sex,” you mutter as you dab at the coffee stain.
“There will be if I’m going,” Damien trills as he pushes off of your desk and saunters to the door. “Don’t rule it out, babe. No need to miss out on all the fun!”
You roll your eyes and toss the wadded-up paper towel at him. Damien is quick to shut the door, resulting in the paper towel hitting it with a wet plop.
Damien’s absence leaves the room uncomfortably silent, save for the sound of your heart nearly beating out of your chest. You hesitantly lift your eyes back to your computer screen, and as irrational as it is, you pray that you’ll see that something has changed in the past ten minutes. Unsurprisingly, his name is still there, just below your own.
You silently curse the tiny twinge of excitement you feel from seeing his name and exit out of the email.
Five days, in and out. No big deal.
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taglist: @is-this-even-important @evelyncade @usuck @m0rce1ddd @bauhousewife @whxt-to-write @spencerwaltergubler @lovesicksofi @idgafayiowf @shadyladyperfection @mercy-burning @sapphic-prentiss
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid self insert#spencer reid fic#criminal minds self insert#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfic#fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x y/n#matthew gray gubler fanfic#matthew gray gubler smut#matthew gray gubler self insert#matthew gray gubler#mgg#bau#icyhwm#my writing
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on the wonder duo (part 1)
(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)
yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?
bc like. ive been thinking.
everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)
but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.
as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders
with bakugou and deku... its different.
its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.
i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.
@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee @isaustraliaathing
(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)
1. Complementary Colors
I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!
A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.
Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic.
Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.
the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.
Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.
Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.
Izuku Midoriya (緑谷 出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)
but that isn’t my focus right now.
We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.
After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.
(Sound familiar?)
Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.
On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪 勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.
When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.
2. Hero Too!
Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.
What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.
Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes
We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.
But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.
In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.
The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away.
The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.
“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”
A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.
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Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.
At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.
ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)
Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.
(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)
As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.
(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)
we begin to notice a few similarities.
As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.
Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.
i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.
“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.
In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well.
The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.
When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other.
Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.
IN CONCLUSION:
As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)
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Part Two: Interactions, OfA
kofi || commission details
#idk maybe this is obvious and im just Slow on the uptake#but yeah#delete later#bnha#wonder duo#bakudeku#bkdk#codi.txt#bnha meta#mha meta#long post#tw long post#cw long post#THIS IS PART 1 DONE ILL TRY N FINISH PART 2 SOMETIME THIS WEEK#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#kacchan#deku#dynamight#dynamite#codi.docx
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izzie’s favorite movies and tv shows of 2020 (aka the worst year ever)
another year, another movie and tv show review. this year has, to put it simply, sucked. 2020 has been so terribly awful that sometimes the only light you can see are the absolute bangers of movies and tv shows that came out this year. with that being said, some of the movies and tv shows didn't come out in 2020. if the are mentioned in this post it is because they either: had a season come out this year, i found them this year, or they became popular this year.
SPOILERS: it may not come as a surprise but just in case you didn't realize, there will be many spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.
tw // death, suicide, drug use, mild adult language. if any of these things might trigger you, i strongly urge you not to read this post.
there is no specific order of these shows and movies, i'm just writing as they come to mind. if you enjoy any of these movies or tv shows, or if you have any suggestions for me, please let me know!
TV SHOWS
1) Santa Clarita Diet
Okay, so I know this show doesn't have anything to do with 2020. But, I found this show in 2020. I put it off for a while, thinking it wasn't my style of a show, but boy was I wrong. I loved this show. Sheila Hammond (Drew Barrymore) is a normal suburban wife and mom. She is a real estate agent with her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant). She struggles with the fact that she isn't very adventurous. This all changes when she throws up an insane amount at a house showing. She then finds herself craving adventure, and craving human flesh. Yeah, she's a zombie. Not only is this show super hilarious, but it also shows the growth that they have with their characters and their family. I'm also team Abby (Liv Hewson) and Eric (Skyler Gisondo).
2) Outer Banks
So, I'm from NC. And, watching this show at first bothered me because I can very obviously tell this show isn't actually filmed in the obx, and the geography isn't exact, but once I got past that, I loved it. John B (Chase Stokes) is a teenager that lives in the poor side of the outer banks. He has a friend group called the Pogues which consists of JJ (Rudy Pankow), Pope (Jonathan Daviss), and Kie (Madison Bailey). They absolutely hate the Kooks, which are the rich kids. A while after John B's dad gets lost at sea, presumed dead, the group finds some evidence that may solve the mystery, and make them rich. In the process, John B falls in love with a Kook names Sarah (Madelyn Cline) whose father Ward (Charles Esten) may have a little more to do with the mystery than he let on. Through friendship, murder, and secrets, the gang may just figure out what happened to John B's dad.
3) Love, Victor
Alright. I loved loved loved Love, Simon. I also really loved the book "Simon vs. the Homosapien Agenda." So, when I heard about this show, I was so excited. Victor (Michael Cimino) is a teenage boy that moved to Creekwood with his family. He meets Felix (Anthony Turpel) who lives in his building. He also meets Mia (Rachel Hilson) and they begin dating. But, he also meets Benji (George Sear). While trying to get used to a new school, new friends, and a new relationship, Victor finds himself questioning his sexuality. With the help of Simon (Nick Robinson) and his friends, Victor finds it in himself to finally come out, and he admits his feelings, for Benji. This is such a good show, but I was so upset when season 1 ended on a cliff-hanger.
4) The Haunting of Bly Manor
The sequel to The Haunting of Hill House. Now listen, haunting of hill house was an absolute banger. When I saw that Bly came out I nearly died. I was so excited. But, I was alone in my apartment and also a lil bitch. So, I had to wait a week until I was home with my family to watch it. Now, I was so excited to be scared, and there were a few jump scares and ominous moments, but this season was more centered around the story line of Dani Clayton (Victoria Pedretti) and her new life in a foreign country. When seeing an ad for a live in job as an au pair. When she gets there, she meets the two young children she’ll be looking out for and the other workers of the house, including the gardener, Jamie (Amelia Eve). Throughout her stay at Bly she begins to notice weird behaviors from both children and by the end of the series she sacrifices herself for the children. Sadly, this story is being told by Jamie who Dani had fallen in love with during her stay at Bly. Now I was somewhat upset about the lack of horror, but was still very intrigued and drawn in by this series.
5) Julie and the Phantoms
Alright, at first I was not gonna watch this show. I thought it looked a little too young and childish for me, but everyone was talking about it on twitter so I had to. I. Love. This. Show. This show centers around Julie (Madison Reyes). Julie is a teenage girl who, sadly, lost her mother. The one major thing she shared with her mom, was their love for music. Since her mothers passing, she gave up music. This is until, dead musicians from the 90′s show up in her garage. Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada) all tragically passed away in the 90′s after eating bad street hotdogs. When Julie finds their CD in her garage, she decides to play it and they come back in ghost form. But, only she can see them. With their help, she finds her confidence to play music again. Also, she has to find away for them to stay because they’re slowly disappearing.
6) Derry Girls
Bitch. I love this show. And yeah it didn’t come out in 2020. Shut up. I found this show recently after watching the cast on the holiday special of the Great British Baking Show. I loved the actors so I had to watch the show. This show focuses on Erin (Saoirse-Monica Jackson) a 16 year old girl that lives in Derry, Northern Ireland in the 90′s. Alongside her is her cousin Orla (Louisa Harland), her two friends Clare (Nicola Coughlan) and Michelle (Jamie-Lee O’Donnell), and Michelle’s English cousin James (Dylan Llewellyn). During these years, a lot of people in Ireland struggled, especially because it was during wartime. Even thought this show isn’t focused heavily around the war, it’s amazing to see these teens live a fulfilling life while struggling with the state of their country, and the lack of money that their families have.
7) Elite
HA. This show did have a season in 2020 so leave me alone. But bro, I love this show. At first, I didn’t watch it because I thought I could only watch the dubbed version in English, which I hate. I hate dubbed shows they look so weird. But, once I found out I could watch this show in Spanish, I fell in love. But, sadly, theres too damn much to talk about in one little post. It’s crazy. But basically it just follows the lives of teens in high school that are trying to survive. And no, not in the “I’m surviving high school,” sense. No, people be getting murdered.
MOVIES (tbh i didn’t find a lot of movies good this year lmk which movies u liked this year and maybe i’ll like them!)
1) All the Bright Places
After the death of her sister, Violet (Elle Fanning) is devastated. She closes herself off, and has her parents get her out of doing school work that involves working with others. But, as time goes on, they realize she may need to start to move on. Violet then meets Finch (Justice Smith) who is enamored by Violet. He suggests they do a project together. While finding and visiting some of the smallest wonders of their state, they begin to fall for each other. While you are focusing on Violet and her mental health, you tend to miss some of the signs that Finch’s mental health isn’t great either, but by the time you do, it could be too late.
2) Dangerous Lies
Hmm. This was weird for me. I had only ever seen Camila Mendes in Riverdale, and honestly, not a fan. So, Katie (Camila Mendes) and her husband Adam (Jessie T. Usher) are struggling with money. Katie decides to take a job working for an elderly man, and eventually gets her husband hired there as well. Unfortunately, he dies, but for some odd reason, leaves the house and all of his fortune, to Katie. As they get comfortable in the house, they begin to uncover some very weird and dangerous lies.
3) The Devil All the Time
Ok. Iconic. You got so many hot men in this movie. Bill Skarsgård, Sebastian Stan, Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson. C’mon now. That’s crazy. But, this story is so long and in depth that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. This movie is a bit disturbing. It involves murder, sexual assault, killing of animals, and so much more so if that’s an issue for you please do not watch this movie. It was also quite long, but it was still good.
4) After We Collided
Okay just listen. I was that teenager. I read wattpad stories and was, embarrassingly, addicted to After. This was not a great movie per say, but it was After. This is a sequel to the movie After. This movie centers around Tessa (Josephine Langford) and her recovery after her breakup with Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin). Theres sex, alcohol, bad acting. The whole nine-yards. But c’mon, they’re so cute together.
5) To All the Boys p.s. I Still Love You
Okay it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. This movie focuses on Lara Jean (Lana Condor) and her boyfriend Peter (Noah Centineo) and their relationship post the first movie. But of course relationships aren’t super steady, and John Ambrose McClaren (Jordan Fisher) shows up. Yeah, John Ambrose, from her letter. They become closer and Lara Jean has to decide who she wants to be with. Spoiler, it’s Peter. BOOOOOOO justice for John Ambrose McClaren, he deserved better.
#santa clarita diet#outer banks#john b#jj maybank#pope#kie#obx#love victor#victor x benji#the haunting of bly manor#dani x jamie#julie and the phantoms#julie x luke#charlie gillespie#jeremy shada#owen joyner#derry girls#erin x james#elite#ander x omar#nadia x guzman#all the bright places#dangerous lies#the devil all the time#tom holland#sebastian stan#robert pattinson#bill skasgård#after we collided#hero fiennes tiffin
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Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 2: The Ballad of Duke Balloney or “I’m Flintheart Glomgold and I Always Will Be!” (Commission for WeirdKev27)
Hello all you happy people. I”m Jake, I review stuff and today continues my look at Ducktales season 2 story arcs, of Moons, Millionares and Mothers. And while this arc as a whole is paid for by WeirdKev27, due to the Arc’s length, 17 parts including 15 episodes and 6 comics (2 of which will be in the same review), this one’s special as he’s using his patreon review every month to do so. If you too want me to review something of your choice simply hit up my ask box or join my patreon at patreon.com/popculture buffet. You get access to my discord, to pick a short when I do a group of them for characters birthdays, help me hit neat stretch goals like my next which is reviewing a darkwing duck episode a month, and best of all EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS. And I just added one this saturday of a carl barks story centerting around wigs, legal battles and attempted murder, both by our villian.. and by our heroes...
I will never get tired of that panel nor the boys inexplicably finding a blowgun. Point is it’s there if you want it at THIS LINK, but enough plugging so I can help pay the streaming bills and keep doing this... let’s get to the meat of things shall we?
This episode begins the second arc of this retrospective, The Glomgold Arc. And this arc was inevitibly going to come to this blog for two reasons. The first is that I have made no secret, in fact i’ve shouted it as loud as I can the neighbors are concerned, that I fucking love the 2017 Version of Flintheart Glomgold.
Glomgold is Keith Ferguson’s best role, tied with Lord Hater obviously, but it is indeed a tie. No one but Keith could’ve pulled off glomgold’s combination of ego, ham, and batshit insanity. He just makes the utterly stupid and wonderfully ludicrious things that come out of the mans mouth sound so damn natural with such an unearned confidence. It’s very clear that Frank had Keith in mind when putting this version of everyone’s faviorite South African Billionare pretending to be a Scottish Billionare and wisely built the characcter around him and his immense talent. I was not familiar with Keith at all, wasn’t even aware he voiced hater before this show but damn if that hasn’t fully changed.
Glomgold was also just in general a brilliant update of the character: While I know a lot of duck fans weren’t happy with this version at least at first. As the action figure sitting on my shelf that once road in a car with my david hasslehoff baywatch funko pop I have entirley due to my love of baywatching, this insane music video hoff did in the early 2000′s, and just in general how gloriously rediculous the man’s life is when you stop and think about it for a second from a pay per-view concert that ended up falling on the same night as The OJ Chase, to his kung fury cameo , to his weird insetence they never had sex on baywatch desspite mounds of video evdience and the fact the show was buit around the bulk of it’s cast’s sex appeal, to the fact the model of his pecs used for the spongebob movie was sold in an auction and on and on... I was going somewhere with this...
Oh right as the action figure, and previous praise, shows I am not one of these fans: The original isn’t bad, in fact one of my faviorite life and times chapters that i’ll be covering this week and talking about later in the review has him as the main antagonist and a pitvitol figure in Scrooge’s life in the worst way possible. Rosa GETS what’s needed for Flinty to feel specail: to have him be an evil mirror to scrooge, what he could’ve been had he kept down the path he started down in Africa. A ruthless, amoral asshole who will do ANYTHING to get rich.
It’s just often that isn’t emphasised enough and he’s instead just another one of the millions of generic assholes trying to get scrooges money sometimes with hired goons...
Not only that but Frank really COULDN’T have him at full effectivness. See an arch enemy in the Silver Age, which STARTED the same year Glomgold Debuted no less, wasn’t a big deal. They were still considered your deadliest foe but they’d often, much like Flinty be shuffled into the rogues gallery, show up for an issue to meance the hero, then either escape, get thrown in jail only to escape from that easily later, or be presumed dead. The last one I bring up because it happened to Magneto a LOTTTT pre-claremont. For Fuck’s Sake Charles have those teenagers train to look for a body once in a while!
Original Flinty was built for that, and brilliantly so as Barks had a talent for it , as seen by the fact The Beagle BOys, Flintheart and Magica have stuck around ever since and even in comics overseas where Flintehart is replaced.. it’s by Rockerduck who Barks ALSO created. The 87 Show followed the same formula, which was just as standard for 80′s cartoons. It’s why Megatron took until his toy was canceled the movie to shoot starscream in the face.
The problem is villians evolved and the expecation became more that a true arch enemy had to be a true threat. While Frank and Matt COULD’VE made Flintheart a real and honest threat, he also would’ve had to make him a Big Bad. The probelm was those seats were clearly taken: while i’m pretty sure some ideas came as they went, the main story beats were clearly planned out well in advance: Webby being a clone was always the plan, as was FOWL, Darkwing being a fan of a fictional Darkwing who became the real thing, and Della being on the moon. So he presumibly carefully choose each season’s big bad... and thus Season’s 1-3 would be full up wise. Season 1 had Magica, who he made into a TRUE threat, yet left the door open for her to return as she did, Season 2 had Lunaris who even if they hadn’t fully thought him up, they probably had thought up the moonvasion, and Season 3 was what they’d built the series towards with FOWL.
Details probably changed, it’s very clear to me they were likely going to have all three buzzards be important and ended up deicding to pivot to it just being Bradford over time. But given how well they though tout the general framework, I highly doubt Flinty was ever considered as a seirous big bad.. and I know i’m saying this in an arc that tried to set him up as one, but i’m getting there simmer.
So they could wait for a season 4 that might not happen.. or make him a recurring villian. So Frank and Matt decided to do that and leaned into comedy. Centering him around keith who Frank worked with previously on Wonder and thus knew he could play a hammy manchild like no one else, they simply leaned into the goofier aspects of his personality. His being similar to scrooge became him being an intentional and blatant knockoff. As Scrooge himself perfectly summed up in episode 1 “The poor man’s version of me.. which to be fair still makes him insanely rich”.
It’s another reason to really love this version as while yes, they did make him a bafoon.. he’s a wonderfully, redicuously layered bafoon: He still contrasts scrooge perfectly, manically hammy to Scrooge being calm, especially around flinty, blantatly crooked to Scrooge’s died in wool honesty, and wasting money on revenge instead of spending it on his actual company. There’s more obviously but some i’m saving for the review.
Not only that but his insane schemery has a rhyme and reason to it: He attacks Scrooge every week like the saturday morning cartoon villian he is, but his schemes are always unwieldly and massively stupid, and he always goes with the first draft. It’s something the team enforced: the first version is what they role with because that’s how his sad brain works. He also is obssed with sharks and explosives, the former being given a suprisingly heartfelt and unsuprisingly insanne origin story towards the series end, and works them into every plot no matter how much itm akes no sense. He’s pure ego, pure stupid and pure fun.
So yeah circling back to him being the big bad, I felt he was made one for this season for two reasons: the first is while a lot of fans (raises hand) enjoyed this version, some didn’t like how inept he was, so this would give them a breif bit of Flintheart being a genuine threat again. The other was frankly... they didn’t want to play their hand. Lunaris WAS the big bad... but fans would get supscious if there was seemingly no true threat on the horizon. Magica popped up in episode 4. We didn’t know her full plan yet true, but all we needed was lena SAYING HER NAME and fans of any other version of teh Disney Ducks would instantly go “Oh shit there she is”. So fans would now have the expectation of a main antagonist.. but would be instantly supscious of Lunaris and Penumbra if there wasn’t one for the first third of a season it took to them, and it’d leave a gap in the story to not have someone driving the plot on earth.
So Flinty got an upgrade.. a slight one and we’ll talk about the eb and flow. And thus he got a proper origin. Now granted they could’ve planned this too, but this one’s harder to tell as the curse you me gag could’ve been a clever setup or could’ve just been a one off gag they somehow turned into an entire episode. So Flinty got an arc.. and a comedic foil, the other reason this was inevieble, and Kev’s faviorite character, Zan Owlson. So how did it work out for them? Well we’ll begin that journey under the cut.
We begin our story a few months ago.... on every level really: the months ago shadow war aired when this episode originally good, the months ago I reviwed Shadow War (which via counting I found out was my 200th episode not counting Patreon. Nice), and most importantly for this story, the four months ago before the present day of Season 2.
Glomgold saying curse you me as he fell into the bay during the Shadow War.... only for once in his life he dosen’t somehow get out of it unscathed and instead passes out, almost drowning. He’s found by Fisher and Mann, two fisherpersons... Mann is specific about that due to being a woman despite the obvious irony. It’s a good gag. Flinty acts like he normally would.. hostile, demanding that they know who he is.. and while they don’t.. neither does he.
Cue credits and cue present day. Via a newscast with Roxanne we learn what I mentioned earlier: It’s been four month and Glomgold’s been missing. The general mood.. has been about what you’d expect.
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Yeah Roxanne turned on him real fast. I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if it was because he later openly bragged about stealing scrooge’s money during the shark thing on live tv at some point, making Roxanne look terrible for enabling him and for blatantly supporting him earlier. I mean.. how else do you get a corrupt journalist to do anything decent.
But with Glomgold gone SOMEONE’S gotta replace him.. and that someone is Zan Motherfucking Owlson. Top of her class at Mouseton Univesity, Owlson is the show once again updating things: previously they added Mark Beaks to the Rogue’s Gallery as he contrasts the 50′s (scrooge ) and 80′s (glomgold) idea of billionares from previous versions of the property being a modern tech weasel. Though instead of just one thing Owlson represents a few: The most obvious is she’s a woman of color: Having a black woman in such a high position of power is something disney would’ve outright vetoed in the 50′s and 80′s. Here it’s well accepted as it always should have been. It also feels like a delebrate move on Frank’s part: There weren't’ any major african or african american coded characters in season 1, despite the show being very open and accepting, so that needed to change. The other is frankly outside of Brigtaa MacBridge, whose also weirdly absent from this series for some reason and has taken Fethry and Rockerduck’s place as the most major overseas duck character to never get adapted, there are hardly ever any females on Scrooge and his richer foes level. He’s had the occasional female rival or suitor, but only Brigittta had staying power and while I love the idea of her, another person as rich as scrooge whose willing to spend more and has a crush on him, she badly needed an update as she’s essentially Adventure Era Amy Rose in a grown ass woman’s body.
Owlson also provides a diffrent dynamic in that she portrays the ideal of what we’d want from a ceo: She’s honest, works hard, earned her way as square as scrooge did, gladly donates to charity and is extremely charismatic and intelligent. Granted most CEO”s are nothing like this but still, she’s what we WANT them to be. Using the money not for themselves or taking big paychecks but to help people. She also provides something Glomgold needed: a straight man. While he has one in Scrooge at times, Owlson unlike both of them is a fully functional resonable human being. Scrooge, while a good person deep down, can be reckless, impulsive and greedy, and Glomgold had a tarzan like experince with sharks, goes on to name his dummy son sharkbomb, and tried to murder Scrooge on live television twice that we know of. She’s the calm, snarky, put upon sane person trying to reign in the crazy shark explosion man.
Owlson dosen’t get a ton to do here, but that will change and she does get a decent amout in the final scene. But what she does here establishes who she is and how sh’es FIXED Glomgold industries; She’s shut down the vast number of money sinking scheme related departments, set ups everal charities, and is even setting up a new one with Scrooge, Dimes for Ducklings. In short she knew exactly what was needed to fix the company and it’s image and did so in FOUR MONTHS. Probably even less given they had to be sure Glomgold wasn’t coming back right away. I guarantee he’s faked his death like 10 times just to try and kill scrooge. They have to make sure it’s real first. As one last note before we move on, Owlson is played by Natasha Rothwell, a producer and writer who i’ve only seen outside of this in Love, Simon and Sonic the Hedgehog.. that is a weird combo of things that mean a LOT to me I haven’t been able to bring up here again.
We find the tv this was all playing on on the docks with a non-anthro segull pecking it while a bunch of fisherpersons go about their day. We also get this guy.
Add him to the list of spinoffs I want THE LIST OF SPINOFFS JAKE WANTS: 1. Darkwing Duck 2. Donald, Daisy and the Kids 3. The Sabrewings 4. Tailspin Reboot 5. The Flintheart Glomgold Show 6. A Sequel Movie 7. This Guy Punching A Fucking Fish
So you might be wondering when any of our main cast are going to show up.. and why the fish puncher isn’t in said main cast. Well that’s about now as Webby and Louie are fishing. Well okay more acuratley webby is fishing because she genuinely enjoys it and Louie is tagging along so he can nap on a boat while Webby paddles him around. That plan is threatnned by her spear fishing and he suggests using rods instead, but they need bait for that.
Naturally, given we need to get this plot going our heroes run into Duke Baloney, aka an amnesiac Glomgold. Understandably, both of htem think this is some sort of scheme at first because waiting for someone related to Scrooge to stroll by his fish stand for some sort of shark themed trap, especially since he’s right near the water so he dosen’t have to worry about keeping them hydrated like that time he dropped one from a plane onto scrooge’s board meeting with two chainsaws strapped to it. But .. it’s not. While we the audience saw him amnesiac, and at first I thought that spoiled the episode... it really dosen’t. He still ACTS like himself on instinct, so your not sure if he faked it as part of some elaborate scheme or is really gone till this scene shows that, no he really isn’t there. And the how is simply in knowing the guy: Glomgold is not good at subtley. He has disguises and such, but their never remotely convincing. He could NEVER pull off actually being a humble fish monger nor have gone four fucking months without yelling at scrooge or remotely contacting him. There’s also the fact Fisher and Mann 100% belivie in duke and back up his very real story of being dredged out of the bay. There’s also his south african accent, which actors including David Tennant himself have admitted is one of the hardest to pull off but Keith does swimingly, which is a hint.. but only on rewatch or for those who know his comics origins.
Louie isn’t convinced which is fair: even if Glomgold isn’t good at this sort of thing, he’s still tried it a lot. Webby however correctly figures he has amensia. So the two simply try talking to him. Fisher and Mann do get a bit dickish laughing off the idea he’s possibly Glomgold.. despite the fact you know you dredged him out of the fucking water 4 months ago.. and if you actually looked at the news, would see Glomgold disappeared around the exact same time you found Duke. It just annoys me because otherwise these two are great characters: Friendly loveable fisherpersons who love their job, have no comeptiviness and genuinely want to help their friend duke. The encounter does have them seeing a fancy money clip Duke has but with no other options they leave for now.
But while Duke has forgotten who he was... bits of glomgold still stir within him. And that starts when Duke spots the McDuck Industries fishing boat, the best fishing boat on the sea, something his friends are okay with.. but Duke naturally isn’t. So while Duke was a calm sane fisherman before the true glomgold in him is on full display as he comes up with insane schemes involving fish and explosives, before presenting a rather insane scheme to his friends involving getting engineering degrees and other stuff.. it’s as poorly drawn and wonderful as you expect from him. But what’s telling is that he reigns it in when his friends show obvious concern with his actions... something Glomgold would NEVER do. For one he dosen’t have friends. For another, he doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings or thoughts.
By now Webby is also championing that Duke is a diffrente person.. which is true. Duke is Glomgold stripped of his hate and resitment towards scrooge. He’s who the man COULD’VE been had he not sworn eternal vengeance on Scrooge. Louie is doubtful that he’s amnesiac still.. but neither can quite figure out the full story so it’s time for research.. and for Webby to accidentally knock Louie into some lobster traps.. which given he’s spent the entire episode assuming an amnesiac man isn’t that despite all the evidence to the contrary, he earned that. That said these two were the perfect choice for it: All of the boys have a bit of skeptic in them, and we already had a plot with Huey being skeptical.. and even he would’ve given up by now as would dewey since he only has a pinch at best. Webby.. has none. She can question motives and stuff sure, but at her heart she’s a kind forgiving soul who belives the best in everyone. And.. its’ paid off fo rher. Look at the whole Lena situation, she believed in her, even while Lena was actively manipulating her,.. and it truly changed her, convinced Lena to do the right thing despite the cost, to choose love over the abusive monster who made her. It’s the only missed opportunity in the episode for me. Character wise it has exactly the 8 it needs to tell the story and focuses heavly on the five it truly is about. But not having Webby bring up Lena when we don’t hear her mentoined AT ALL during her absence (though to the shows credit they did a good job showing Webby still had never remotely given up), and it made the wait more agonizing and would’ve made her motivations hit even harder: that she belives in duke because she believed in lena and it was real. And while this thank christ isn’t remotely romantic, the point does stand: She wants to see the best.
Louie is a conman by nature so he only sees the worst, the weakest in people, the things he can use to take htem down or take hteir money. He can’t fathom someone doing good because he can’t fathom HIMSELF being good. And that.. says a lot.. but he’s accepted himself as a shady conperson who cares only for himself.. even if that’s not the truth. His inclusion here enhances his own arc much like Huey’s role in quack pack enhanced his. It shows that deep down Louie dosen’t think much of anyone.. and probably not himself. That he has to be shady and greedy to survive when that’s not tru. Sharper than the sharpies yes but also square.
One last bit before we moved on I just found out though: The Crew originally had this as a straight up origin story: no kids, none of the rest of the duck family, except presumably Scrooge’s parts here, just Glomgold’s struggle with amensia and his past leading to who hei s now. Honestly I think that version could’ve worked, but likely given disney seems TERRIFIED of making a show starring an adult without a chlid and had to be talked into the child light Golden Lagoon, that was a non starter but I think it still works fine. I also foudn this out via a twitter thread of Frank’s rewriting history that goes in deep on teh production of each episode. Had I known this existed before writing this one, I would’ve used it for the other two arcs and most dangerous game night, but I intend to read through it so I have everything on the table from here on out.
For only the second time in her long career of researching stuff though, Webby has hit a dead end. Mostly because she couldn’t find anything on Duke.. and NOTHING on Glomgold’s past pre-Duckburg. The most she has is his visa...
I want to frame this on my wall.. and someone is actually seling id cards out there, so I want this one at some point. It’s not Disney because they don’t care about fan merch like this, but then that just means they don’t get the money because they didn’t think of it or put the work in then huh.
But yeah with nothing else our heroes go to the only person they know who knows him well... Scrooge.
Meanwhile Duke has .. this... I just.....I can’t put words to this truly bizzare surreal dream sequence.. it involves Glomgold going insane, the kids dancing on a bagpipe, and owlson is there.. despite the fact that Glomgold should have zero idea whot hat is. I think the kids mentioned here but even then, he somehow knows exactly what she looks like.
Otherwise good stuff and it’s raining hard as Duke goes in. Fisher and Mann have formally added him to their sign, and warmly welcomed him in and Duke says “this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me I think” which is probably true. and makes what’s coming all the more heartbreaking.
But before what’s coming Duke has another thing coming.. Scrooge who the kids brought to talk to him. The two talk casually, the kids watch not knowing.. and then Scrooge comes back to them. Turns out Webby was, unsurprisingly right on the money, Flinty does have amnesia, and unlike what Louie thought.. he isn’t inherently evil. Duke is just duke.. and Scrooge has no intention of fixing the amnesia. And while that SOUNDS bad.. his intentions are noble: Glomgold.. was a throughly miserable person. He was never happy and never would be till Scrooge was dead by his hand and that was never going to happen. It isn’t even taking an enemy off the board: Flinty is only a threat on occasion. Scrooge clearly ENJOYS their conflict: it may annoy him from time to time, but he clearly enjoys upstaging the guy. And as he points out, it’s not a brain injury or anything: Glomgold is practically immortal as Louie put earlier, and Scrooge outright mentions Glomgold’s taken a LOT of explosions to the face. So he’s in no real danger physically or emotionally.. he’s happy. He has friends, a calling he truly enjoys. There’s another reason too but we’ll see that in the final scene.
So Duke is finally happy... but it doesn’t last... the kids go out but a storms a coming, and Duke selfleslly heads out to save them.. only to get hit on the head and fall in the ocean again.
It’s here we get the 2017 version of Glomgold’s origin story. We did kinda get one with life and times, as we saw his first meeting with scrooge and why he hated him, long story short with the long story coming later this week Glomgold left Scrooge for dead and Scrooge’s response was to come back, kick the fuckers ass, tar and feather him and utterly humilaite him, leading to Flinty swearing vengance.
But while I love that version..t his one is just as awesome if not better. And it’s without having Scrooge ride a lion. Here we instead meet Flinty as a child Scrooge’s age... and as a shoeshine boy. Yup just like Scrooge Duke, Glomgold’s birth name, was an industrious young boy with big dreams. He also had unwieldy schemes from minute one, but Scrooge saw in this lad the same fire he had and tried replicating his own origin.
The problem was... the different context ruined it. Scrooge was paid by an equally poor ditchdigger the us equilvent of his pay: still useless in scotland, but a good lesson in hard work and not being swindled. Scrooge tried that... as the richest duck in the world and without giving flinty the same amount of money.
So Duke/Flinty took umbrage at this yelled at scrooge.. and pick pocketed his money clip. In the only bit taken from the rosa version of their first meeting, Scrooge never realized he’d met flinty already. There and then duke came up with his first true, and first insane scheme: Save the money and use it to mold himself into a richer, more scottish version of scrooge dedicating his life to one upping him and killing him. A “single white female” type thing as Frank put it.
It’s.. utterly brilliant... taking Glomgold being a knockoff as mention and just running with that... making Glomgold a LITERAL knockoff. This was indeed the plan all along: A way to have him be both south african and scottish and it was brilliant. It also gives him more depth and more tragedy: He COULD’VE been the next scrooge.. but instead of being his own man or learning any of the hard lessons scrooge did he doubled down on never learning anything and getting vengeance on an old man’s well meant but accidently classist gesture.
So Glomgold reawakens and while it first looks like he’s going to save the kids... he instead throws Webby into the raging sea, and steals their fish. Webby is heartbroken and Louie asks him “what about duke.” His response is heartbreaking as it is character defnting
“I”m Flintheart Glomgold and I always will be!” the lightning shot, the cackle..i t’s just such a damn good moment that underscores the tragedy of the episode as Glomgold’s new friends are horrified by what he is now and what he was always meant to be and Glomgold leaves to go stalk scrooge once again. He indeed is Flintheart Glomgold and always will be.. because he threw the decent person he could’ve been away. He’s miserable.. because he can’t let go of his rage or ego and just move on from something that happened to him when he was ten! He has to be in his 60′s now! Glomgold may think Scrooge is his worst enemy.. but it’s really Flintheart Glomgold.... and it always will be.
So naturally his first actoin is to storm into his company and scream at scrooge. How he found him there... honestly not a huge suprise it’s his company and he likely knows how to find scrooge anywhere because he’s a creep like that. Scrooge and Owlson’s reactions are both worth a look at:
Given Glomgold bursts into an already annoying meeting of Scrooge trying to get the dimes part knocked down to nickles (and likely lower before that given he mentioned Pennies earlier), to accuse Scrooge of trying to trick him by appearing as a boat in his dreams her bafflement is both understandable and hilarious. Like she probably HEARD what Glomgold was like but gennuinely didn’t belivie it and her face is just now frozen in a look of “oh my god they were not exagearating what fresh hell is this”.
She tries to be professional and introduce herself but he just brushes her off and yells at Scrooge blaming him for being forgotten (”You literally forgot yourself), with Owlson also considering calling security. She only dosen’t because Scrooge points out he’ll tire himself out eventually and as usual for their jousts, is not remotely threatened or worried. He’s just..sad. And getting back to his reaction.. that’s what’s telling about his plan. He probably KNEW this would happen. He in his heart knew Duke Balloney would be gone soon, and he’d have to deal with Glomgold again. It helps soften the implicatoins: it wouldn’t last and fraknly if it did Scrooge would probably have people check on him regualry to make sure he was okay. He’s not a monster.. he just wanted Flinty to be happy for five minutes and to not ruin that out of some misplaced sense of right and wrong.. when the right thing was to simply let the man be happy till it inevitably blew up.
Glomgold however, furious at being forgotten and cast aside has decided to take a huge poorly thought through gamble and challenges scrooge to a classic Scrooge comics trope between the two, but with higher stakes: A contest to see who will be the richest duck in the world by the end of the year.. and given Christmas happens right after this i’m just assuming he means a year from now. Winner gets both companies and fortunes. Scrooge scoffs at this.. till Flinty pulls out the clip, taunting him with how he did it and “If I can beat you once scrooge i’ll beat you again”. And this, Flinty revealing he stole from him and he NEVER KNEW it or realize it, enrages scrooge enough to agree and to take him seriously... meanwhile Owlson.. just tries to get actual work shit done and just forges their signatures. Look she is a woman of color in the business world with genuinely good motives... she’s probably used to using white nonsense to get things past two idiots having a peeing race.
Final Thoughts:
This episode is truly excellent and like Most Dangerous Game Night! i’d forgottne just HOW good it was. The pacing, the comedy, and the character work is all on full blast and i’ve gushed plenty enough about how great an origin story is. it’s a character piece that explains why this doofus is the way he is and that is what holds him back.
Next time on MMM: Louie’s back as he pulls a ghostbusters to make quick money and Storkules starts rooming with Donald with predictable results.
If you liked this review consider joining my patreon and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.
#ducktales#flintheart glomgold#scrooge mcduck#the ballad of duke balloney#webby vanderquack#louie duck#fisher#mann#fishing#weblena#disney plus#disney xd#disney channel
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I was suddenly struck with the desire to do this. Write your favourite ships, crack, rare pair,popular I don’t care just lemme see your ships. Add a reason why if you want....then tag a few people if you wanna
Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr. (X-men universe) have you seen their interactions in X-men first class, days of future past, apocalypse and dark Phoenix? I think that’s all the explanation needed. Plus with how hard Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy work to make this happen I can’t help but ship it.
Matt Murdock x Electra natchios ( Netflix daredevil and Netflix the defenders) “his is name is Mathew” SHE GOES TO HIS APARTMENT. She defends him even when she has no memories of him
Foggy Nelson x Karen Paige (Netflix daredevil) I’ve seen a lot of Kastle fans and I just can’t get behind that, Frank’s whole thing is avenging his family I think he’s still pretty tied up with them even if burning the house can be symbolic. Karen and Matt never really sat right with me. Especially because she was all “you gotta stop being daredevil.” Karen and foggy however? *chef’s kiss*
Frank castle x Clint Barton (marvel ) yeah....this is the one odd out for Frank ships. Born from an RP and it’s definitely a crack ship, which is probably why I like it. Just the idea of two coffee addicted shooters being like “yeah...I suppose I like you.” Definitely introduced to each other by Matt. He definitely regrets it.
Nasuada x murtagh (the inheritance cycle) excuse me while I scream about these two. HIS LOVE FOR HER WAS STRONG ENOUGH IT CHANGED HIS TRUE NAME AND THORN’S. galby tried to trick her with an illusion of the two of them married with kids. She liked that illusion until she realized something was wrong. They are so cute.
Ororo Munroe x T’challa (marvel comics)
Ororo Munroe x Kurt wager (marvel comics)
Ororo Munroe x thor (marvel comics)
Ororo Munroe x Logan Howlett/wolverine (marvel comics) seeing a pattern yet? Yeah, I love this literal fucking goddess and pretty much every ship with her is great. Plus she brings the Tall in the Tall and Smol ship when it’s her and Logan and that makes it all the better.
Hermione granger x Draco Malloy (marry potter) ooooh boy I can already hear the hate messages over this one. Anyway. Hogwarts them or fresh outta Hogwarts them is not going anywhere obviously. He’s still too caught up in the pureblood teachings of his parents. But give it time, especially because we do see in the movies he’s horrified by what the dark side is bringing and he lies about who Harry is rather than tell everyone “yeah, we got him”. So he has the potential to change and the idea of him going to the trio and saying “hey...listen I know I was an ass and I know what I did was terrible but I want to change and I’d like to learn” is appealing. Especially with hermione giving him hell over his actions and him taking it and just “yeah...I deserve all this” and it ends up developing from there..... now before anyone says anything I extend this same curtesy to all of the death eater kiddos. They were raised in that environment and they have the potential to change their views and learn. (No...I don’t extend this to Snape because as a whole ass adult he bullied children to the point of being a 13 year old’s worst fear over the witch who helped torture his parents to insanity. One of the people who tortured his parents was nicer to him than Snape was. Granted they were disguised but still! )
Blaise Zabini x Ginny Weasley. (Harry potter) I can also hear the hate messages over this one but oh well. According to his wiki page he is possibly half Blood. His mother apparently isn’t a blood purist (just a black widow). And he’s just hoity toity, though his wiki says he’s more withdrawn than anything. I love the idea of Ginny totally fucking with him over something or snapping at him over something and him retaliating and it just ends up going back and forth until whoops....they suddenly find themselves learning more about each other than they wanted and catching feels? Whaaaaat?
@ariminiria @dashingdetectivetimelady
#time to unleash my unholy opinions on the world#Harry Potter#marvel#x-men#ororo munroe#logan howlett#kurt wagner#t’challa#hermione granger#draco malfoy#blaise zabini#ginny weasley#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#frank castle#clint barton#karen page#foggy nelson#matt murdock#elektra natchios#ship ask#ask game#murtagh#Nasuada
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Rowan’s Masterlist (Maybe)
There is many a Rowan chapter so I’ll ‘Keep Reading’ this biznitch, and mark the ones containing non-con.
Also as I continue to update my dash this will disappear, so looking up the hashtag ‘masterlist’ should find it, but if not then I’ll pin it.
Rowan Chapter 1 - Rowan is a poor boy who gets caught in a trap while running away from pursuers. He is saved by a secluded hunter named Peter.
Rowan Chapter 2 - Rowan wakes up in Peter’s home and meets his friend, Cordelia.
Rowan Chapter 3 - Rowan and Peter bond as Rowan’s injuries heal and Peter gives Rowan an offer he couldn’t possibly refuse.
Rowan Chapter 4 - Trouble in paradise as soldiers come to collect tax from Peter
Rowan Chapter 5 - Rowan realises what the soldiers took him for. And what will happen to him if he’s disobedient. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 6 - Rowan gets thoroughly abused and misses Peter. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 7 - Rowan finally catches a break! This break comes in the form of the cool, and cruel, crown Prince. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 8 - Rowan endures the last week in the barracks and is taken to be cleaned up before meeting his new royal master. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 9 - Rowan finally meets his new master and the Prince breaks in his new toy. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 10 - Rowan realises that the Prince isn’t as kind as he first appeared to be. William punishes Rowan for disobeying him, and Rowan weighs up the worth of fighting to survive. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 11 - Rowan wakes up pleasantly and William offers him a way to repay his kindness. William gets visited by the royal advisor, who says something that catches Rowan off-guard. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 12 - Rowan learns of the Prince’s arranged marriage, William reminds Rowan that he is, in fact, an asshole.
Rowan Chapter 13 - Rowan meets a servant and tries to make some friends in the cold castle. But he soon realises that the position of consort does not make him very popular with the other servants.
Rowan Chapter 14 - Rowan struggles to convince himself of how to behave for the Prince. William quite likes Rowan asking for forgiveness. Rowan learns that he really isn’t popular among the servants and has to deal with drunk William. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 15 - Rowan wakes up to a rather delighted William. Rowan receives a present during the day and attempts to fix his relationship with the servants. It doesn’t go well. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 16 - Rowan deals with the alienation of the castle. William offers Rowan something he could never refuse
Rowan Chapter 17 - Rowan gets cornered by some overly-friendly guards and barely manages to escape. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 18 - Rowan struggles to suppress the events of that afternoon and fails to hide them from the Prince. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 19 - Rowan faces the Prince and discovers how he reacts to people touching his consort. The Prince doesn’t appreciate Rowan hiding the event from him. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 20 - Rowan plays the submissive and adoring consort while the screams of the guards ring in his ears. William takes advantage of Rowan’s desire to play with his psyche more. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 21 - Rowan finds out how the Prince decides to keep Rowan from trouble. An essential visit to the kitchen revealed the layers of hatred that are held against Rowan.
Rowan Chapter 22 - Rowan gets a bit of time to himself outside and allows himself to enjoy some sunshine. Oliver reminds the boy not to stray too far. And the leisure is interrupted by William. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 23 - Rowan feels icky after being with the Prince and hides in his room to avoid having to reveal his hatred to the Prince’s soldier. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 24 - It’s been a while since Rowan was saved by the Prince, and the royal engagement slips closer. The Prince offers his consort an invitation to the engagement ball and Rowan comes face-to-face with someone familiar. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 25 - Rowan prepares for the ball and finally meets the Prince’s fiancée. Tensions rise as Rowan realises how little they get along, and gets to see an old friend again.
Rowan Chapter 26 - The Prince manages to get some relief from Rowan and leaves him be. Cordelia manages to find a moment alone with Rowan, which is interrupted by Oliver’s overprotectiveness. And to avoid being left alone Rowan is forced to remain with the Prince. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 27 - Rowan decides that he would somehow be more comfortable with William, does whatever it takes to remain by the Prince’s side. This allows William to take complete advantage of him. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 28 - Rowan struggles to dissect the fractured memories of the night before. And comes to the horrifying realisation that he had forgotten himself before the Prince.
Rowan Chapter 29 - William has a chat to Merek on their way to breakfast, a chat that strikes fear into Rowan’s heart. Spending time with William was hard enough, but when Marie is with him, Rowan finds out how much more trouble the Prince can be.
Rowan Chapter 30 - Rowan becomes overwhelmed early in the day as he realises the Prince will never be satisfied with him. After an altercation at a council meeting, poor Rowan is faced with a suggestion that makes his stomach roll. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 31 - Rowan accompanies William to the baths and manages to ask him a potentially dangerous question.
Rowan Chapter 31.5-32 - After the bath Rowan follows the Prince to lunch, where William inevitably gets into an altercation with Alexander, and Rowan gets hurt again.
Rowan Chapter 33 - Rowan remains asleep throughout this chapter and William and Marie have an interesting talk. Which allows Marie to gain more information about the Prince’s consort, and to sow some ideas in William regarding his treatment of the boy.
Rowan Chapter 34 - Rowan wakes up to find an alarming shift in the Prince’s behaviour towards him. And for a while he basks in the change. But of course, the kindness doesn’t last long.
Rowan Chapter 35 - The Prince and his friend have a discussion regarding the terms of Rowan’s service. Rowan quite obviously deplores this and struggles to hide his disdain now that the likelihood of being shared has become so much more real.
Rowan Chapter 36 - Rowan’s last-ditch attempt to sway the Prince against being given away doesn’t work. And Oliver makes an attempt to understand the boy better.
Rowan Chapter 37 - Alexander isn’t quite as kind to Rowan when William and his mother aren’t around. And the surprise visit causes an argument between Rowan and Oliver.
Rowan Chapter 38 - Rowan is forced to visit the Prince’s friend. It’s his first attempt at being disobedient. One could argue that it . . . didn’t go well. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 39 - In a quiet moment Rowan is allowed to process what happened after he angered Charles. It won’t be received well by the Prince
Rowan Chapter 40 - Once someone comes across Rowan, and Charles, panic sets in. He tries to run, but doesn’t manage to get far before being caught and returned to the Prince.
Rowan Chapter 41 - Rowan is taken to the dungeons and Merek begins his punishment. The Prince returns to him and, after hearing Rowan’s side of the story, decides on an ‘appropriate’ punishment for him.
Rowan Chapter 42 - Once the Prince leaves any comfort he offered Rowan leaves with him. Because Merek isn’t going to pass up the opportunity to thoroughly break Rowan.
Rowan Chapter 43 - Rowan endures an unending amount of torture from Merek, who knows how to bruise the mind just as well as the body. Finally William comes to free him from the punishment, and Rowan realises he missed the Prince far more than he would like to admit. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 44 - William leads Rowan to the baths and gently cleaned the boy. Rowan responds very positively to the Prince’s kindness, so much so that he misses the warning signs given out by William.
Rowan Chapter 45 - Marie isn’t pleased to see Rowan at the dinner table, and William can’t turn down an opportunity to argue with her. Back in the Prince’s room Rowan is surprised to be afforded a pleasure that has been denied him for far too long. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 46 - Rowan gets woken up by the Prince after having a nightmare. He finds out that it’s a pretty big day for William, and his first interaction with Oliver again goes, less than ideal. Non-con
Rowan Chapter 47 - Rowan is mad. And Oliver realises pretty soon how wrong his statement was... Also Oliver’s relationship with Matilda is revealed and Rowan is still a sad boii.
Rowan Chapter 48 - Rowan meets Marie’s consort and it is revealed that he and Oliver have a past together.
Rowan Chapter 49 - The wedding night.
Rowan Chapter 50 - Everyone has to adjust to the ways in which the castle is changing. From William and Marie’s relationship to Jonathan and Rowan’s continued discomfort around the newly crowned King.
Rowan Chapter 51 - It’s been far too long. Rowan’s grown used to kingdom life, as disgusting as it is, but suddenly things are beginning to change.
Rowan Chapter 52 - The King finally learns of how the servants are treating Rowan, and he doesn’t like it. Luckily Rowan has learned how to think on his feet and can save them from the punishment William promised.
Rowan Chapter 53 - Rowan realises that it was worth being kind to the servants. Rowan is attacked.
Rowan Chapter 54 - Rowan finds out that Maria has something to do with what is happening to him, and that William is also present.
Rowan Chapter 55 - William didn’t love Rowan. As sad as that is, after everything, is it really so surprising?
Rowan Chapter 56 - Rowan and William suffer through their first night as prisoners and are visited the next morning by their captors.
Rowan Chapter 57 - Rowan obtains a seemingly perfect opportunity to speak to Cordelia alone. Or as alone as they can be with William sulking nearby. She’s his only hope for survival at this point.
Rowan Chapter 58 - Sweet, sweet, sexy catharsis! Rowan finally snaps in the face of his abuse.
Rowan Chapter 59 - Everyone thoroughly enjoyed Rowan taking William down a few pegs. Except William, of course. And it may have been the most beneficial time to snap.
Rowan Chapter 60 - Cordelia takes Rowan from the dungeon, and gives him some nice clothes.
Rowan Chapter 61 - Rowan really badly wants to stay with Cordelia now that he knew she would protect him. Except, Cordelia isn’t really made for babysitting.
Rowan Chapter 62 - Rowan definitely shouldn’t be left on his own.
Rowan Chapter 63 - Cordelia realises that thanks to William’s conditioning of the boy, Rowan is going to be a bit more maintenance than first thought.
Rowan Chapter 64 - Rowan is a broken little creature. Sad boii.
Rowan Chapter 65 - A short little scene of their night at the inn. Rowan suffers from another nightmare and is very eager to leave. Rowan Chapter 66 -
Rowan Chapter 66 - Rowan struggles to convince Cordelia that he’s okay. Because he very obviously isn’t.
Rowan Chapter 66.5 - Cordelia asks Rowan some hard to answer questions, which he somehow manages to answer.
Rowan Chapter 67 - Cordelia gives Rowan a few more hours of rest, and considers some information about William’s punishment.
Rowan Chapter 68 - Rowan and Cordelia have a talk about how to deal with trauma.
Rowan Chapter 69 - Rowan and Cordelia share another bed, and Rowan has a nightmare.
Rowan Chapter 70 - Rowan and Cordelia have another deep discussion as Rowan reveals the lingering fears that the image of Peter conjures up.
Rowan Chapter 71 - Rowan has a final little panic before reaching Peter’s home.
Rowan Chapter 72 - Rowan doesn’t react superbly to his and Peter’s reunion. Peter is very distraught by this.
Rowan Chapter 73 - Cordelia and Peter have a heavy discussion about the boy sleeping in Peter’s room.
Rowan Chapter 74 - The next morning Rowan confronts Cordelia about what she said the night before.
Rowan Chapter 75 - Peter sets up a bath for Rowan, and Rowan struggles to acknowledge his discomfort thanks to the kindness of Peter and Cordelia.
Rowan Chapter 76 - Rowan gets a nice little bath.
Rowan Chapter 77 - Peter and Cordelia have a chat while Rowan sleeps.
Rowan Chapter 78 - Peter interrupts a nightmare Rowan has.
Rowan Chapter 79 - Rowan works up the courage to ask Peter to keep him company while he rests.
Rowan Chapter 80 - Rowan can’t help the memories that rise up and turns against old friends.
Rowan Chapter 81 - Cordelia finds Peter outside and attempts to calm her friend.
Rowan Chapter 82 - Rowan struggles to handle life on his own while Peter and Cordelia talk.
Rowan Chapter 83 - Rowan finds something important to Peter that he kept hidden from the boy.
Rowan Chapter 84 - Peter and Rowan try to rekindle their relationship.
Rowan Chapter 85 - Rowan uses his safe-word.
Rowan Chapter 86 - Rowan doesn’t really know how to handle trauma, but Peter can help him.
Rowan Chapter 87 - Having collapsed by the water’s edge, Peter can begin to unpack the emotional baggage Rowan carries with him everywhere.
Rowan Chapter 88 - Cordelia figures out a way to help Rowan feel safe.
Rowan Chapter 89 - It doesn’t matter that Rowan has never had a pet before, he loves her anyway.
Rowan Chapter 90 - Peter and Cordelia have an important conversation about an intimate subject.
~
I also realised that I reused Tagliatelle as a Tag title three times. What do you guys see in me? I’m clearly not original.
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Old: M. Night Shyamalan’s Twist Ending Explained
https://ift.tt/3kKtl2y
Contains spoilers for Old.
Old is the new chiller from director and screenwriter M. Night Shyamalan who is very well known for his twisty plots and rug pull endings. Fans who go to the cinema for that will not be disappointed.
Inspired by the graphic novel Sandcastle, by Pierre Oscar Lévy and Frederik Peeters, Old sees a family on a dream holiday get taken to a secluded private beach which they discover is causing them to age very rapidly. But how? And why?
Well, that’s not revealed until the end of the movie. Here we break down what happens and what it all means.
Who Dies in Old?
In short: everyone except Trent and Maddox, the now grown children of the family we begin our journey with. But characters die in different ways and that’s significant. Old is thematically MASSIVE. It essentially attempts to sum up the entire human experience in one movie, indicating a variety of ways a life could go – with twists and turns of course.
Rufus Sewell’s Charles is a doctor with racist tendencies and his rapid dementia sees him become violent. He murders rapper Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre), tries to kill Guy (Gael García Bernal), and eventually is killed himself by Prisca (Vicky Krieps), who stabs him with a rusty implement giving him super-rapid blood poisoning. His mother has already died of what seems to be a heart condition at the start of the movie.
His wife Crystal’s (Abbey Lee) calcium deficiency causes the most horrific deterioration scene in the whole movie; her bones crunch and become contorted into hideous and unnatural shapes as they crack and then heal too quickly. It’s a medical condition, sure, but there’s an implicit judgement of Crystal in the background. The beautiful, much-younger wife of Charles is positioned as being overly fond of her looks and as she starts to age and her body lets her down, she hides in a cave in the darkness rather than be with other people.
Crystal’s daughter Kara goes from being a little kid to a teenager, is pregnant, and immediately loses the baby (harrowing). Later she tries to climb her way to freedom but falls to her death.
This is a doomed family: a disjointed group who essentially all die horribly and alone, as opposed to the family we meet at the start. Mum Prisca is thinking of divorcing Dad Guy; she’s been having an affair, but both parents love their children fiercely and ultimately love each other too.
Only Prisca and Guy are given a ‘good death’ – they live out the minutes of their lives together. The couple reunite and solve their differences, row with each other and their children but eventually make peace with themselves. Though she has lost the hearing in one ear and his vision is severely impaired, they sit together on the beach at the end of their all too short lives and agree there is nowhere they would rather be than together.
Third couple Jarin (Ken Leung) and Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird) have narratively significant deaths. Jarin attempts to rescue the group by swimming around the coast, but despite being a strong swimmer he doesn’t survive. This death emphasizes that the group has tried everything and can’t escape. Meanwhile Patricia dies of an epileptic episode. This becomes very significant later in the movie when we understand the drugs she’s been given have prevented an episode from happening for 16 years (more on this later).
What’s the deal with the rapper?
The first people at the island are a famous rapper (according to young Maddox) with the stage name Mid-Sized Sedan (real name Kevin) and the woman he is with. She has taken a swim (naked) and later washes up dead, sparking the first wave of conflict on the beach as racist Charles immediately accuses Kevin of murdering the woman.
As a catalyst this works narratively and comes loosely from the graphic novel Sandcastle though in Sandcastle the man is an Algerian Jeweler rather than a Black rapper.
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We do wonder though, why, when his companion swam out into the sea he wouldn’t have been a bit more bothered about that and wouldn’t have asked the others for help as soon as they arrived? Also her body doesn’t appear to be especially decomposed when she washes up (while she decomposes very rapidly once on the beach).
Any thoughts about what’s going on here? Let us know in the comments.
So what is actually going on with the beach?
Electromagnetic material surrounding the beach is causing cells to age incredibly quickly – at the rate of around a year every half an hour. The kids are still growing so their aging is more obvious than the adult characters. The adults don’t get grey hair, according to a throwaway line, because hair and cells are dead and so aren’t affected – the same reasoning why they don’t all suddenly have very long hair and fingernails.
Though the film has a strong existential and allegorical angle there is actually, in theory, a real world solution – as in, the answer is ‘science’ and not ‘magic.’ This is why there are no fish in the water on the beach, and why it’s significant that when Trent and Maddox emerge from the other side of the coral they suddenly see a school of fish. The explanation for why they can’t just leave the way they came is that reversing the rate of aging very quickly causes an enormous shock to the system (like resurfacing too fast from deep sea diving), which causes them to black out before they can get anywhere.
So why on earth has the holiday resort actively decided to send people – and these people specifically – to suffer a horrific fate on the beach?
Turns out the resort is really an incredibly elaborate front for a pharmaceutical company…
What does the pharmaceutical company want and why?
This pharmaceutical agency discovers the beach and sees the potential for whole-of-life medical trials to be carried out in just over a day. In theory these trials mean vital medicines can be tested incredibly rapidly for efficacy and also for side effects. Okay, not terribly reliably – medical trials don’t tend to involve observing patients from a distance with no actual lab tests and checks, and the beach is hardly a real-life adjacent or controlled environment. But this is the logic.
Candidates are selected who are having treatment for various specific conditions already. Prisca has a tumor which she thinks is benign, and it’s through her that her family is selected. Others on the beach with them also turn out to have conditions.
The facility has arranged all of the families’ travel and accommodation and taken their passports away from them – there (supposedly) is no evidence that they even left home, which is how the pharma is able to carry out its plans without being caught.
The system is flawed (it’s obviously massively morally flawed and also doesn’t hold up to medical scrutiny either since it’s hardly a meaningful test when it’s on individuals whose bodies don’t behave at all like regular people, but we digress…). One of the employees points out how unsound it is to put test subjects with neurological disorders in with those with conditions that do not affect the mind. Charles killing Mid-Sized Sedan and stabbing others rather interferes with the results.
On arrival guests are given specially mixed cocktails supposedly based on their preferences and dietary requirements – these cocktails are drugged with whichever experimental new treatment the lab wants to test.
Another possible hitch: surely treatments aren’t usually one dose and then you’re done for your entire lifetime? But different rules apply here, hence the children needing to eat lots of food to account for their changes in body mass but the grown ups who stay at roughly the same weight don’t have the same issue.
When the twist is finally revealed, we learn that the events we have been watching are part of trial number 43, and the team are celebrating a victory – the epilepsy drug given to Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird) is a success and stopped her from having a seizure for 16 years. (Just as well Charles didn’t murder her first.)
How do Trent and Maddox finally escape?
For a time it actually looks like they haven’t escaped. M. Night Shyamalan’s nefarious surveiller who has been watching the island the whole time is convinced the two have drowned.
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Thank goodness, though, that they have not. While we know countless families before them have died on the island, it still would have been almost too unpleasant not to spare these two. For a start we’ve been with them the whole movie, they’re our focal characters and all of the different actors who play the two as they grow keep us hooked. But these are all children – 11 and six at the start, who’s lives really are being stolen from them. They are not sick. They are not instrumental in progressing medical research. No fancy drugged cocktails for the kids, they are literally collateral damage – loose ends to be tied up. Kara has plummeted to her death but the now grown up Maddox and Trent (Amon Elliot and Embeth Davidtz) are the last hope.
And it turns out to be another child that is their salvation. Trent remembers that he never translated the note that his young pal Idlib (Kailen Jude) gave him in their special code. With frankly nothing more pressing to do than await his death, adult Trent decides to take a look. The amazing Idlib has given him a clue about his uncle not liking the coral. Turns out the tunnel of coral provides the sort of casing it requires for them to be able to get away from the force of the beach without immediately blacking out.
What about the diary?
The diary left by a previous islander is key to the ending of the movie, avoiding having to waste the audience’s time with police incredulity.
Back at the resort having escaped the beach, the now grown Trent spots a man he’d met when he was six and playing the (narratively handy) game ‘what’s your name, and what is your occupation?’ This guy, he remembers, is a cop.
The diary documents all the things learned by another victim of the beach and the families that were there during that trial. It documents the names of everyone on the beach, as well as the things this person – who, like Trent and Maddox, was a child when they arrived – learned during their last days. The cop is able to quickly cross reference and find that everyone on the list is a missing person, missing at the same time.
Maddox and Trent get their happy ending (kind of) – they are able to expose the dodgy pharma company, prevent any further victims, and are airlifted away after saying a sad and grateful farewell to Idlib, who is very much still a child.
We do need this ending. The film as a whole is incredibly bleak, and giving these two a chance to save the day is a tonic. Old is careful not to present this ending as too cheerful though. In the flight away from the resort Trent talks about contacting his aunt and when asked about his reaction he replies:
“How would you feel if a 50-year-old man called and said he was your six-year-old nephew?”
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
They are free and they are alive, but what will happen to Trent and Maddox now is a different story.
Old is out now in cinemas.
The post Old: M. Night Shyamalan’s Twist Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3kPlFMr
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The Princess and the Mad Hatter, Chapter 1 : Tonight, I’ll become the most dazzling precious treasure
Summary : What if Snow-White wasn’t the fairest of all ? What if the most beautiful princess of the Enchanted Forest has been forgotten because she didn’t fell in love with a prince ? This is the story of a curse and of a love story defying all the codes of fairy tales.
Pairing : Jefferson The Mad Hatter x Princess Rose (OFC)
Warnings : None
Word Count : 1 258
Author’s note : Chapter 1 and we dive into the story ! I’ve already posted this, on my main blog, but I decided to rework on it to repost it. Hope you’ll like it. Don’t forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.
Song of the title : Treasure - Flyleaf
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Enchanted Forest, several time ago.
In a kingdom surrounded by the mountain, the forest, and the sea, lives a young and arrogant prince. Charles thinks that since the day of his birth he could get anything and everything for free, from the most random little thing to the most unreachable one. As an adult, and before being crowned king, he falls in love with a beautiful noble young woman named Sophia, whom, for Charles’ unhappiness, is engaged to a blacksmith, Alister, whom she had chose herself with her parents blessing, seeing in a very positive way their daughter be wed by love and choice, rather than out of a sense of duty with someone of her league.
Totally obsessed by Sophia’s beauty, Charles decides one day to challenge her fiancé to a trial for the beauty’s hand. Relying only on his courage, Alister accepts the fight to defend his fiancée’s honor. Unfortunately for him, Charles’ hanger for power and the fact that he never accepts “no” as an answer, the prince calls Rumpelstiltskin, the Dark One, to get what he wants : the blacksmith’s death to marry the beautiful Sophia. Thanks to the dark wizard curse, Charles manages to defeat his opponent who however was stronger than him and marries Sophia less than a week later. Full of sorrow, she resigns herself to marry him and her new princess life, and then, queen, less than two years later.
A few times after the coronation, the newly queen knows that she is pregnant. She secretly hopes to give birth to a boy for giving an heir to the crown and that maybe, she hopes, her husband will leave her alone for a few times. What she doesn’t expect however, is that her royal husband never paid his debt to Rumpelstiltskin and that this one invites himself to the sumptuous party given in the honor of the future baby.
“Well, well, it’s like we are celebrating something dearies”, he exclaims, with his very shrilly voice. “Rumor has it, it’s a baby.”
“What are you doing here, fitly gnome”, Charles jumps from his throne and runs towards the little man. “You were not invited to this party, so go back from where you come from.”
“Well, I’ve not been invited, but it seems to me, your highness”, he replies, exaggerating Charles’ title, “that you owe me something. Hihihihihi.”
A whisper rises in the crowd. All are looking at each other, trying to understand what the dark wizard talks about. He starts to talk again.
“So, I came to finally have what’s mine, your majesty”, he says shaking his hands.
“I am not going to give you anything. Go away before I give my guards the order to kill you.”
“You perfectly know that they can’t do anything to me”, the Dark One chuckles. “But I can do something against you, in fact, I am going to do it, take it as a warning. King Charles, this is your punishment for failing our contract : all the children you are going to have will be girls, you are going to tell me, having only girls can be a gift, especially if your little princesses are pretty as gems, but and this is the beauty of my curse, all your daughters are going to be uglier and more stupid the next than the previous one, starting with the one your wife is carrying right now.”
Speaking those words, he disappears with a mad laugh. At the moment he pronounces these words, Sophia collapses on the ground shaken by sobs. This marriage already makes her unhappy, and now in addition, she is condemned to only give the realm only girls and moreover ugly girls, who are probably going to be miserable all their life. It is too much for her and her mental state.
“Don’t you worry”, Charles tells her, hopping he is going to comfort her, “this is not going to happen, I am pretty sure that the magic of that imp will have no effect on our children.”
Sophia isn’t reassured at all, she knows all about Rumpelstiltskin’s powers, and perfectly knows that he wasn’t faking. This is a punishment, she thinks, a punishment for marrying the man who killed the love of her life, her true and only love. Sophia isn’t stupid, she knows that Charles only married her as a trophy, and not for love, because she knows perfectly that her husband is incapable of loving anyone but himself. In a last effort, she wishes with all her strength for a miracle to happen. Her pray is heard and a little blue halo entered but one of the throne’s room window.
“Maybe I can help you.”, says the little halo before materializing into a brown hair woman.
“You can ?”, Sophia asks, her voice filed with hope.
“I can only reduce this spell, that’s the best I can do.”
“What do you mean ‘reduce the spell’ ?”, enrages Charles. “You are going to cancel this spell, and this is an order !”
“I don’t take orders from you, even if you are king.”, the Blue Fairy curtly replies. “You have, by vanity, stole another man’s fiancée and you used dark magic because your oversized ego wouldn’t have supported a defeat, and you refused to pay. However, I can’t for your wife and your future children let it be. Queen Sophia, I can only act on the child you are already carrying, everything will depend on her. Unfortunately, I can’t change the fact that all your children are going to be girls, nor the rest of the curse, but I can do something for that little princess. The child you are carrying is going to be the most beautiful princess that kingdom have ever seen, and probably the most beautiful the Enchanted Forest ever known. She will be brilliant, and loving with everyone, and especially with her sisters. This child will be your only hope to break Rumplestilskin’s curse.”
“How could she do that ? Tell me please.”, Sophia whispers.
“Simply by receiving a true love kiss.”
“If it’s that simple”, Charles mocks the Blue Fairy, “she will receive one soon enough when we will engage her to a prince.”
“Don’t you think that it’s going to be that easy, the spell will be break only if her true love gives her that kiss. Don’t consider that this will work with the first comer to whom you will give your daughter. That’s all I can do for her”, she finishes turning around towards Sophia. “Take care of your precious little flower your highness.”
This is her last word; before becomes again the little halo and goes out same way she came in. Not really relieved, but a little reassured about the baby she is carrying, Sophia notices by the corner of her eye that her husband is fulminating. Obviously, he doesn’t believe in Rumpelstiltskin and the Blue Fairy spells.
A few months later, Sophia gives birth to a dazzling and perfectly healthy little girl. She has a light white skin, auburn hair, light hazelnuts eyes, a straight and delicate nose, and thin lips of the color of a pink rosebud. She is, indeed, the most beautiful princess of the Enchanted Forest. That’s why her mother decides to name her after that flower. The whole kingdom celebrates princess Rose’s birth, and even if Charles sees in her a future currency to make his kingdom grow, Sophia, on her side, sees in her a flower who will bring hope to a better future.
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#The princess and the mad hatter#Justine's writings#once upon a time#once upon a time fanfiction#once upon a time imagine#ouat#ouat imagine#ouat fanfiction#Jefferson#jefferson x rose#jefferson x oc#Jefferson x OFC#Jefferson the mad hatter x OC#jefferson the mad hatter#jefferson the mad hatter x ofc#Jefferson The Mad Hatter x Princess Rose#princesshatter#Jefferson x Princess Rose#princess rose#jefferson imagine#jefferson fanfiction#Jefferson The Mad Hatter x Rose#jefferson the mad hatter imagine#jefferson the ma hatter fanfiction
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Ooh, your Princess Power soft reboot has me intrigued! Could you possibly expand on it more? Like how Kara and Corrine lose their powers, get new ones, and how Wes becomes a villain? I myself don't him because he LITERALLY revealed Kara's identity for views and that's. fricked up.- That PCS Anon
Sure, I can do that. I debated how deep to go into it, bc my Princess Power headcanons (like everything else) depend so heavily on a million other things, but hopefully this ended up semi-coherent. It also ends up fairly dark, as my Princess Power/Spy Squad backstory are some of the darkest headcanons I have. So fair warning for that. I’m not solid on some of this (I always say, it’s not canon until I actually put it in a fic), but as of now, here’s how it’s gonna go down:
Kara, Corinne & their powers
Kara and Corinne lose their powers for two reasons: 1) It makes sense to me that they would, and 2) It gets rid of the pet powers, too, which I need to happen bc I just think it’s beyond ridiculous that they got them in the first place. (Not Bruce’s, but I might get rid of him another way. We’ll see.) The Baron, whom I’ve named Charles, drank a potion, which I can buy as producing a permanent change. But the girls got their powers from a mutated butterfly, and somehow... it’s supposed to be equivalent? I don’t think so! So I have their powers start to fade some time after the movie, as their powers are actually tied to the butterfly’s life force, and it’s dying. Butterflies don’t live for very long on average (less than a year), and also having the butterfly die keeps anyone else from getting powers that way, since that was already a whole fiasco. (It’s a magical butterfly, but it’s given out powers 4 times, so that’s sapped it more than anything.)
Kara and Corinne have opposite reactions to this: Kara is horrified, and wants to find some way to get her powers back, but Corinne is sort of relieved, since without powers, they can go back to being normal. I think the high of being a superhero would wear off pretty quickly for Corinne, especially since she’s not competing with Kara anymore.
Kara, in her desperation, goes to see Charles and see how he got his powers, bc she will do anything to keep hers, at this point. The novelization says that Kara connects the butterfly to Charles, but as I pointed out in my post about it, she has absolutely no reason to do that, bc it makes no sense whatsoever. So since she doesn’t know where the magic butterfly came from, she goes to the guy she knows also got powers out of nowhere. I’m not sure what he would tell her, but even if he doesn’t say anything, she could still search his lab and maybe have Madison and Makayla reverse-engineer the potion (which I think would go badly, as they’re engineers, not chemists). Whatever the case, she ends up drinking that potion, and that combined with the last of the butterfly magic, produces... a mutation. I go back and forth on whether I want that mutation to be permanent, or if she can shift between butterfly and human forms, but that’s how she ends up. I’m thinking there may be some sort of chrysalis stage she goes through, bc I need her to be sidelined for Corinne’s power reset, but like I said, I’m still working on this.
Corinne is in some kind of lab accident (possibly in Madison and Makayla’s lab, or maybe in Windemere’s I3 branch), and ends up with her new powers. However, she takes this opportunity to say that her powers actually wore off for good, and essentially retires, which she feels comfortable with bc there are two other heroes running around with Kara now. She’s technically the strongest of all of them, so she’ll step in if they really need her, but she leaves the day-to-day stuff to them. She might stay in hero support with Violet, or she might just go back to her life for the most part.
Wes’ descent into villainy
This one has gone through a few different stages, and I honestly don’t know where I’m going to land with him. I’ll most likely give him a redemption arc at some point, but I’m gonna put him through the wringer first bc he is a weasel who outed Kara for no reason and I’m spiteful like that. And I’ve said before that I don’t think Kara was as unaffected by that as the movie would have us believe.
Anyway, with all that, I think his motivation stems from a combination of rejection from Kara, and goading from others. The rejection from Kara is not romantic, bc I’ve always thought of him as too old for her--he tries to pass himself off as a serious journalist in the movie, which wouldn’t work if he was a teenager, would it? So I think he’s like, 20--but like, she doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. She’d be cordial but not all buddy-buddy like she was before, and he’d be able to feel the difference.
So, there’s that, putting a wedge between them, and at that point, he’s got ppl whispering in his ear and enabling him, for their own purposes. Originally, this was going to be Charles, but I think Charles is just a smidge too goofy. He seems interested in power, but also like he would have no idea what to do with it if he had it. Like, you want to be king... why, exactly? What are you gonna do once you have the throne? He’s not exactly stupid (altho, I mean, I’d call having Bruce around stupid), but not like, cunning enough to manipulate someone in that way.
We’re gonna take a detour for a second to talk about Charles’ family and some backstory, since that will make this make more sense (I think). Bear with me.
Basil was the Baron before Charles, and also the head of Windemere’s branch of I3 (WI3). He had a good public face, but behind the scenes, he was a real shady bastard. WI3 is almost entirely corrupt due to his influence. He’s the reason Charles ended up as a villain. The reason Philip and Anne didn’t is that they got away from his influence.
Philip went to work in the USA in the late 80s, at LA’s branch of I3 (obviously, as per Spy Squad). Anne was also in LA in the 90s, having her secret relationship with Finn, and while Philip was aware of what she doing, he didn’t rat her out, in part bc he had his own relationship that resulted in a child. (Patricia wasn’t given up for adoption like Sloane was, but she was raised primarily by her mother, as per Marguerite’s wishes, which worked out pretty well for Philip’s situation. They were a way more casual relationship than Finn and Anne.) Anne eventually did return to Windemere, but her charity work and Camp Royalty actually kept her away for the most part. So Philip and Anne had long periods away from their father and his tyranny. They did try to get Charles away too, but Basil had a much tighter hold on him (as the eldest son and heir), and also Charles actually ended believing in Basil’s vision for their future, which Philip and Anne never did. (I’ll point out now that I do feel bad for Charles, and he may get a redemption arc at some point, too.)
Anyway, so Basil does a lot of shady shit. He has Wendy Marvin (mother of Lazslo, Madison, and Makayla) killed in 2006; she was an engineer at WI3 and didn’t like how they wanted to use her research, as she joined to help ppl, not hurt them. And soon after that she died in a fire in her lab. Two years later, her husband Lysander, dies in a similar “accident”; he was actually Kara’s doctor, and trying to determine the cause her mysterious illness.
While Basil did know that Lysander suspected foul play, he did not know that Lysander had actually approached Eleanor about it, wondering if she had seen Basil doing anything suspicious. (Everything the man did was suspicious, but she knows what he means.) After Lysander’s death, Eleanor puts the pieces together and realizes that yeah, Basil was doing something to Kara (most likely slowly poisoning her, as that’s what Lysander had thought). Kara’s about 9 years old at the time--not that it would be any better if she was older, but she’s really just an innocent little kid. (Incidentally, this mysterious illness is why Kara’s parents are so overprotective of her. They never find out what was causing it, or figure out how she got better.)
At this point, Eleanor decides she’s had enough, she’s watched her husband corrupt their son and drive their other two children away and she’s not been able to do anything about it (who would believe her? He’s a perfect gentleman, in public), so she decides to end it. She kills Basil, and then her self. (She would have happily gone to jail for putting the world out of his misery, but she knows that with his contacts at WI3, she’s on borrowed time as soon as he’s dead. And she wants to go out on her own terms.)
This actually lines up with where I put the events of Spy Squad, in 2008. Philip was already about to transfer to WI3, as per Basil’s wishes, to be his #2. But then, with his father dead, Philip actually ends up in charge of WI3, and his #2 is his father’s former right-hand man, Creighton Weaver. (Basil was going to try to get Philip back under his thumb, before his death. He had mostly tolerated him being in LA bc he didn’t need him in Windemere, but once that was no longer true, time to come home, son.) Weaver’s every bit the bastard that Basil was, and Philip can tell, but he has no proof. So Philip is in WI3, with nobody he can trust except Patricia and Lazslo, who ended up transferring with him. (Lazslo so he can be there for his sisters, Patricia bc she wants to be there for Lazslo. And also her dad, kind of.) He basically starts collecting any evidence he can on anybody at WI3, but doesn’t make a move, bc technically nobody is getting hurt (none of the shady research is being applied), and he wants to flush everyone out in one go, if he can.
Fast forward to the summer of 2015, and the events of Princess Power happen. WI3 is contacted to try to make sure that Charles can’t escape his cell, so they end up being one of the few who actually know what happened to him, due to the actual events leading up to the volcano’s eruption being pretty well covered up. Now, Weaver’s known for 7 years that Philip is trying to take him and his cohorts down, but he’s played dumb bc it’s been convenient. However, with Charles going full supervillain, Weaver decides it’s time to jump ship, so he and a bunch of the other most corrupt agents at WI3 basically leave to go be Charles’ henchmen. I’ve tried to come up with a more poetic name for their organization, but so far I only have Dunbar Loyalists--their ultimate goal, of course, being to put Charles on the throne of Windemere, by any means necessary.
However, as I said before, Charles is... not exactly the valiant leader they were looking for. He’s not the man his father was, that’s for sure, so Weaver’s the one actually calling the shots, bc he knows Charles isn’t up to it. And Charles is pretty fine with that, as long as they’re helping him. Makes things easier. (Incidentally, I think this will end up being the set-up to Charles’ redemption arc. Bc teaming up with them, and especially Weaver, is going to get him in way over his head, and I think he might decide at some point it’s not worth it. Especially if Philip and Anne ever end up in danger, bc I think they still do care for each other, even with everything that happened.)
So, to bring this all the way back around to Wes, since Charles isn’t really the type to be manipulative... Weaver certainly is. So I think he’s going to be the one to do it. He can push Wes’ buttons, tell him that no, Kara isn’t right to be mad at you for outing her. You were just doing what you had to do, for yourself, and that’s good. She thinks she’s so great just bc she has powers, you should get back at her, you should show her that you can be special, too. And I just happen to have the technology to make that happen. (Remember, the Loyalists are made up of at least some shady engineers.) So he gives Wes some kind of experimental super suit and sets him loose in the city to wreak havoc against Kara and her crew, mostly to keep everyone’s eyes on that while he does other stuff. Weaver is basically a puppet master for crime in Windemere lol.
And that’s about as much as have so far, which feels like a lot and also a little. I’m not sure how the whole thing will end, who will be redeemed, who might end up dying... Not sure. It could go a lot of different ways, but that’s for future me to decide. I hope that was at least somewhat interesting, even if it was also... very dark. I didn’t try to make it that way, but when dealing with superheroes and spies, it just kind of happens.
#mel irl#barbie babbles#anonymous#thanks for asking#brilliant echo: princess power#brilliant echo: spy squad#brilliant echo: dunbar family#lucie don't look#ask to tag#i said this was 8 miles long but it ended up being 14 miles sorry lads
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Really Long Character Survey
RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good luck !
TAGGED. Stolen from: @cromwellharvests
BASICS.
FULL NAME : Charlotte Beatrice Samaritan NICKNAME : Lottie, Trixie (older brother only), Samaritan, Samari AGE : 21 (1915 – She turns 22 after the Promised Day) BIRTHDAY : 17th August 1893 NATIONALITY : Amestrian-Aerugian – though born and raised in Amestris LANGUAGE / S : Amestrian, conversational Aerugian SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Panromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single HOME TOWN / AREA : Limoux (based off of this map), South Region, small town roughly 25-30 miles east-north-east of Fotset CURRENT HOME : lives in military barracks near to where she’s stationed, she’ll often say she’s “going home” when visiting her family PROFESSION : a medic to her core
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Black, 2a/2b wavy/curly hair, down to mid-back/the bottom of shoulder blades; pulled into a pony tail or bun for work reasons EYES : Honey brown – her father’s FACE : heart-shaped, light freckles across bridge of nose and cheek bones; somewhat baby-faced; fresh-faced LIPS : slightly thinner than average, upwards tilt on either side COMPLEXION : warm skin tone, freckles as mentioned above, skin tends to go through patches of dryness every few months BLEMISHES/SCARS : medium sized one on her left temple acquired from injury during active duty, but it’s mostly covered by her hair; a few smaller ones on other parts of her body acquired in a similar manner including one in the middle of her left pinkie finger TATTOOS : I have been toying with the idea of having a red cross (like the medical symbol) on the side of her left shoulder HEIGHT : 5′2″ WEIGHT : 112lbs. BUILD : neat hourglass shape, toned arms and legs, well built FEATURES : none particularly stand out ALLERGIES : None USUAL HAIR STYLE : Whilst at work, pulled back into a ponytail or a bun; outside of work tends to leave it down unless doing something where it needs to be/it’s better to keep it out of the way USUAL FACE LOOK : looks either busy in thought or bored, there is no in-between; she’s also an occasional victim of resting b!tch face; however will brighten up when approached by someone USUAL CLOTHING : military uniform is worn regularly; she loves her boots and will often wear them with other pairs of trousers; relatively simple clothing, rarely goes shopping for clothes, if she’s wearing something new most likely her mother sent it to her; dislikes long-sleeved shirts and prefers no sleeves altogether, tends to stick to three or four outfits which she cycles through; favours trousers, saves skirts and dresses for special occasions or good weather
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEARS : despite her profession death is a big one; emetophobia (fear of vomiting, especially in a public place/away from home); despite loving the appearance of lightning, thunder during storms triggers varying levels of anxiety ASPIRATIONS : to help as many people as she can, to improve awareness and treatment of mental illness which are often overlooked (especially the effects military service has on individuals) even if it’s just on an individual basis, to settle down with someone and raise a family POSITIVE TRAITS : sweet, charming, protective, compassionate, level-headed, genuine, dedicated, perceptive, ballsy, cheeky, forward NEGATIVE TRAITS : overemotional; gets attached too easily; unforgiving or (depending on circumstance) holds a long-standing grudge; unsure of her position when in a new place so feels she has to justify herself and her abilities/work, leading to her being very short with some people; can be rash and impulsive when it comes to her patients, would rather throw herself into danger with them than leave them on their own MBTI : ISFJ-A – the Defender ZODIAC : Leo TEMPERAMENT : phlegmatic SOUL TYPES : server, priest ANIMALS : turtle, dog, snake VICE / HABITS : losing track of time and taking very long showers; staying up too late; shakes her head side to side when she yawns, as if waking herself up; chewing on the end of a pen; repeatably pops on/off snap poppers on clothing, especially if they’re on the end of her sleeves FAITH : agnostic though will often fall back on religion when she can’t do anything to help a situation (e.g. she’ll resort to praying if a situation is dire) GHOSTS ? : nope AFTERLIFE ? : wants to believe in the afterlife but can’t quite bring herself to REINCARNATION ? : wants to believe in reincarnation more than the afterlife but again, can’t quite bring herself to ALIENS ? : probably, but accepts that that question won’t be answered in her lifetime POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : wish-washy; goes through periods of being furious with the political climate (often when issues arise) whilst remaining up to date, and times of just ignoring it/not being too involved; however, stands (and somewhat fights) for equality across the board as well as protesting to protect the freedom of choice EDUCATION LEVEL : due to growing up in the middle of nowhere, she only attended a small school which obviously limited her education to the point where I argue that she probably left school at 14 (due to context of schooling in the early 1900s) like everyone else who lived in the area; received specific training when she enlisted to become a medic; spends time reading up on other medical techniques/treatments that she wasn’t taught at the academy; some basic knowledge on how the family business is run, but she never expected to inherit it and therefore didn’t spend much time considering it
FAMILY.
FATHER : Lucian Samaritan MOTHER : Silvia Violetta Fontana SIBLINGS : she’s the second eldest of seven with six brothers, Andrew, Samuel, Seth, Kent, Isaac, and Wyatt EXTENDED FAMILY : Henrik and Eleanor (paternal grandparents) NAME MEANING / S : Charlotte – female version of Charles – meaning “man, army, warrior”; Samaritan – following Arakawa’s lead, she’s named after the FV104 Samaritan, which is an armoured ambulance.
FAVORITES.
BOOK : fiction, often books from her childhood which are mainly coming-of-age stories; she does also have a soft spot for biographies or journals of people who have similarities to her (whether that be type of job, favourite hobbies, Southern region background/childhood, etc.); keen to read any medical journals that she can get her hands on 5 SONGS : her favourites tend to be country or folk-songs, songs with a story or meaning; she also holds a soft spot for swing DEITY : although she relies on religion in dire situations, she doesn’t believe in the afterlife because she doesn’t believe in a supreme being/creator HOLIDAY : tries to get time off to go home to visit family on holidays, but will conspire with her older brother to make sure that they are either both home or both away; because of this, holidays get ‘postponed’ in the Samaritan household until the two can find time to get away; tends to be a busy household due to numbers, with Lottie being liable to drag a couple of friends with her if they have nowhere to go MONTH : September SEASON : Autumn PLACE : the large barn at Willowbranch Acres, the family home; the narrow top floor was claimed by the kids soon after it was built, with it being full of cushions, blankets, rugs, as well as a couple of hobby items; it’s always there when you need time to think and space away from the likeable chaos WEATHER : sunny, clear skies but with a mild cooling breeze, not too hot, not too cold; lightning on a dark, cloudy night, despite dislike of thunder that is too close SOUND : humming from down the hall; light playing of a piano; muffled voices and music of a tavern/pub as you walk by; crunching of leaves and heavy footsteps as you run through the woods SCENTS : warm bread, lilies, apple blossom, TASTES : chocolate, orange juice, apple cider, well-done buttered toast FEELINGS : long hot shower, the first gust of wind after a stifling train journey, a dog curled up beside you, forehead kisses and touches ANIMALS : love dogs with a passion, wanted one desperately as a kid before she received Sven on her 16th birthday, has a soft spot for donkeys, cows, and horses as well due to their present back in her hometown NUMBER : 8 COLORS : white, beige, black, all kinds of blue and fall colours (specifically the oranges)
EXTRA.
TALENTS : deescalating or delaying conflicts; decent with a pistol; scarily good with a bow and arrow; telling when someone is lying or telling a half-truth; coincidentally getting away with only telling half-truths instead of outright lying whilst having the same effect BAD AT : keeping herself healthy (well-fed, good sleep schedule, enough liquids); going to bed at a decent time when she doesn’t have to get up at a particular time the next morning; taking out someone in order to ensure her safety; shutting up when someone is threatening her; remaining impartial; cooking or baking more than the three dishes she has down; keeping a straight face after saying something that she thinks is ~hilarious~ TURN ONS : really enthusiastic about a hobby; susceptible to gingers/redheads for some reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; also susceptible to short beards, van dykes and goatees; confidence; good sense of humour; ideally intelligent (not necessarily academically though, can be on a very niche topic) TURN OFFS : when they won’t take a hint that she’s not interested; people who insult the person they were just hitting on because they got rejected; shallow but if they’re shorter than her; honest to god, bad mustaches (the roystache I’m looking at you (≖ ‿ ≖ ) ); HOBBIES : Soapbox/Baby cart races; swing dancing; violin; piano; running; sparring; singing; walking in the countryside; archery TROPES : Girl Next Door, Loyalist, Farmer’s Daughter, The Reliable One, Big Brother Instinct, Good is Not Soft, The Heart, Technical Pacifist
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hcs of what the van der lindes smell like
this is random as hell, but why the hell not? so here’s hcs that nobody asked for. i had to do some research for a couple of these because i had no idea what some popular smell were back then. an interesting read tho.
arthur smells of grizzly wintergreen chewing tobacco, gun oil, and leather with the slightest hint of horse. if you ever been around someone who dips, you know what i mean. he’s always taking care of his things; cleaning his guns, making sure the leather of his saddle is cracked, and caring for his horse. mixing mint leaves with his chewing tobacco was a trick arthur had picked up from uncle, but he’d never let the old man know he’d taught him something.
john smells like sweat, cigarettes, and dirt, but in a good way. like he’s been working hard and decide roll himself some cigs while taking a break. then lounged under a tree to smoke one. abigail always seemed to sneak up on him when he took a breather.
dutch smells like books and leather, but mostly of a cologne he managed to snatch up. some are strong, others not so much, but they still manage to smell nice on him. there’s almost always the lingering smell of a woman on him, like his escapades are embedded forever into his clothing.
hosea also smells like books and leather, but with a hint of rosemary and thyme. i like to believe he keeps a bag of with his clothes chest, like a bag of potpourri. bessie always did love the smell of dried herbs.
abigail smells heavily of coffee and bit of soap. she does hers and jack laundry herself and she gets them clean. pearson’s coffee has been and always will be her favorite. she’s tried making it herself but it never turns out right. jack was the only one figured it out. from then on, he made the coffee for the house.
jack smells like chocolate and probably will til the day he dies. as he gets older it molds and shifts; books, coffee, leather and gun oil, but chocolate is a constant. it’s hosea’s fault really, he shouldn’t have spoiled him so much with sweets.
karen smells like river rocks and lavender, because her favorite scent is lavender and she actually enjoys bathing in rivers. makes her feel like a goddess out of storybook. as she starts drinking, the smell is slowly overwhelmed by booze. it’s still there but the whiskey makes it hard to find. but she’d much rather be engulfed in the scent that reminds her of sean.
tilly smells like lemongrass and soap. she’s stuck doing laundry a lot but lemongrass reminds her of her mother and sweeter times.she asks charles to get it for her whenever he goes out hunting and without fail he always gets her some. no questions asked.
mary-beth smells like roses and pen ink. it’s all very romantic to her and she loves feeling like a french poet with her rose perfume. the fountain pen arthur got her makes her feel like she’s really living the fantasy.
sadie smells like honey and black tea. personally she prefers coffee with some cream, but jake loved a cup of sweetened earl grey. it’s okay to her, doesn’t have the same bite like a cup of joe, but she drinks it in memory of him.
susan smells like bergamot and lemon. it’s a typical scent for a woman to have in the 19th century. she remembers having to almost drown john in the smell because he never washed properly. he learned quick to scrub for a long time, she made sure of that.
molly smells like jasmine. it’s an expensive and distinguished smell. it makes her miss home and her old life sometimes, but dutch picks her up a bottle when she’s running low. it’s little things like that make her fall in love with him more.
sean smells like oak wood and whiskey. of course he’d smell like his favorite drink and what it sits in. he practically sweats the stuff. karen complains but that’s never stopped her from burying her face in chest after a tumble. sometimes when molly sees him, she swears she can smell the countryside air of home.
javier smells like a campfire and violets. pretty much everyone in camp smells like a campfire to some degree, but javier probably smells the most like it given that he spends much of his free time around one. violets is a comforting smell, something his mother would where back in mexico. it’s the most expensive thing she ever purchased, but she loved it. he snatches up snow violets on outings to make his own.
charles smells like pine, blackberries, and crisp fall air. he spends most of his time hunting, sometimes he gets tree sap on him; damned woodpeckers. charles doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he loves berries. black berries are his favorite, they seem to have the right amount of sweet and tart that hits the spot. for the most part these scent are faint but the pine mixed with scent of dead leaves and soil remind mary-beth of fall mornings.
lenny smells a lot like his father did; books, ink, and cedar. he’s a big reader, sometimes a writer. he remembers when he used to write for fun. his father always did like his stories. remembers the fountain pen his father saved up for his 13th birthday. he keeps a small block of cedar with his clothes, something about keep the bugs away. he wishes he could find that cologne his father liked though.
kieran obviously smells like horse, but also of hay, leather, and burdock root. he’s mostly in charge of the horses, caring for them while the others are busy. he feeds them and makes medicine for them. so he has a strange combo of the sweet hay smell and the slight bitter scent of burdock. leather comes with taking care of the camp’s tack as well. horses are a comfort for him, they’re nicer than people. more accepting too.
pearson smells like morning coffee by the sea. always the first up to a brew, just like back in the navy. the smell of the ocean seems to have seeped into his pores, maybe it had. it reminds of when he was younger. had less cares in the world. he wonders if his aunt could’ve be proud of the man he is today.
swanson smells either of fresh, pressed linens or medicine and booze. he’s in a terrible head space and can’t quit; the drinking, his affliction. oh, what sad man he is. things blur together, it’s hard to really be there, in the moment. but eventually, he picks himself back up. becomes the man he wants to be, a man of god again. he hopes margaret is proud of him.
strauss smells like fresh linens, hair pomade, and orange blossoms. fresh pressed suit and slicked back hair, always the image of professionalism. have to if he wants his business to seem legitimate. orange blossom reminds him of his childhood, when things weren’t quite as tough. of his dear, sweet sister. oh how he wished he could’ve done more for his family.
trelawny smells like patchouli and vanilla. overwhelming and subtle. it makes him appear more mysterious than he already is. it also reminds him of home and his family. one would think with how he’s away so much, he probably doesn’t think of home, but he does. he thinks of his childhood, of his wife, and of his children. patchouli is a memory of his father and he wears now that he’s grown. vanilla reminds him of his family in saint denis. sweet and good.
bill smells like moonshine, pomade, and gunpowder. it’s a lot like his father, but he won’t be him. won’t forget as long as he doesn’t mix. at least that’s what he tells himself, but his memory is already starting to get fuzzy. the thick gel makes him fell confident, like he has his life together. it makes him feel good in ways he wouldn’t have thought. war changes you. those changes never go away either. it’s supposed to build character. that’s what they said. it did, but not the way he thought it would.
micah smells like blood, sweat, and a heavy cologne. he’s always moving, always working, always killing. doesn’t matter how often or when he bathes, the smell of cooper lingers. so much blood on his hands, even at a young age. sweat clings at his brow whenever he sleeps, so he doesn’t do it much. only when he has to. too many memories, not enough tears. ain’t no time fro crying boy, be a man (hates that he was named after his father, hates that he became him, but what choice did he have). cologne covers it up. the heavy musk hides the pain and fear, but not the killer.
uncle has two modes, smelling surprisingly good or unsurprisingly, but still shockingly bad. there is no in-between. he can smell like a dumpster fire or tobacco, mint, and whiskey. remember how i said arthur learned to mix mint leaves with his chewing tobacco? yeah uncle still does that, has for years. whiskey is a constant smell, much like sean, he practically sweats the stuff.
a/n: this was a lot longer than i planned on it being, but oh well. also i accidentally implied some charles/tilly? oops.
#rdr2#rdr#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#john marston#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews#abigail roberts marston#jack marston#sadie adler#tilly jackson#karen jones#mary beth gaskill#susan grimshaw#molly o'shea#kieran duffy#charles smith#orville swanson#simon pearson#javier escuella#micah bell#bill williamson#uncle#lenny summers#sean macguire#leopold strauss#josiah trelawny#van der linde gang
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hey loves ! i’m brooke ( she / her, 22, est ) and i’m writing emmeline vance. i’m really excited to develop her and write with you all ! below is a condensed version of my app along with some head canons. if you have any questions, please let me know. if you want to plot with her, feel free to message me on discord at brooke ✨#4008 or like this for me to slide into your dms ! her pinterest can be found here !
tw: illness, terminal illness, nausea
stats
full name: emmeline charlotte vance
nicknames: em, emmy, vance
hometown: london, england
gender & pronouns: cis female & she / her
sexuality: bisexual, bi romantic
hogwarts house: hufflepuff
a brief history
emmeline vance was born on the 5th of january to charles & georgina vance. as the sole heir to the vance name, she was named for two powerful men: her father and her grandfather. her father is the head of the department of magical law enforcement, and her grandfather (emmett) was the minister of magic back in the 1950s.
for as long as she can remember, her family has had high expectations for her. she’s always had to be the best, the brightest, the most caring and generous because she’s the only one continuing her family’s legacy. the vances have been political leaders in the wizarding world for hundred of years, and one day, emmeline will join them.
emmeline also grew up in the public eye, due to her family’s prestige. she’s a halfblood, so she wasn’t invited to any pureblood parties, but her family still has a lot of wealth and influence.
she was sorted into hufflepuff at hogwarts, although she was a hatstall between that and ravenclaw. ultimately, she requested that she be placed in hufflepuff because her father and grandfather had both been there. from her first year on, emmeline has thrown herself into her school work and extracurriculars. she’s in potions club, charms club, astronomy club, and she’s a prefect.
early last year, emmeline grew paler and felt lightheaded often. over christmas break, she went by st. mungo’s and discovered she’s got a blood malediction. there’s no cure for it - she’s just going to grow weaker and weaker until her body gives out.
obviously, emmeline vance did not take this lying down, and she didn’t tell anyone about it. she’s destined for greatness; she’s the only vance left. emmeline will not die like this. so, for the last year or so, she’s been trying to find a cure. she’s researched the subject as much as she can, and tried a number of potions and herbs in case they can cure her. so far, she’s been unsuccessful, but she isn’t giving up. because giving up would mean accepting that she’s going to die, and she really cannot handle that right now.
personality
emmeline’s a really tough person. she’s grown up knowing that failure isn’t an option, so she doesn’t give up easily. that goes for academics, the cure, friendships, everything.
she’s a hardworker. she’s in the top 3-5 of their classes because she works hard for her grades. emmeline isn’t a genius, but she will do what it takes to have all o’s on her newts.
she’s kind and polite to everyone. while she isn’t naturally extroverted, she’s pushed herself to be friendly because it’s expected of her. she definitely does have a few real friends, but with most people, she’s just polite towards.
emmeline isn’t the most expressive person. she won’t tell you what she’s really thinking unless she trusts you and feels comfortable around you. otherwise, she’s just going to give you a neutral smile and call it a day.
she can be a proud person. it’s not easy for her to admit when she needs help, or when she’s failed at something. that’s why she hasn’t told anyone about her sickness - she doesn’t want to seem weak. she’s also occasionally vain and selfish. emmeline absolutely supports the order 100%, but she can’t help but feel snubbed by the pureblood because she’s only a halfblood.
headcanons
the vances haven’t truly been 100% pureblood for several generations. most have married halfbloods along the way, and occasionally a muggleborn. emmeline’s mother is a muggleborn, which is why emmeline’s not been fully welcomed into pureblood circles.
she has good days and bad days with her malediction. sometimes, it’s almost like she’s normal, but then she’ll go a week where she can barely get out of bed without falling down or getting nauseated. she’s always pale and a little bit cold, so she bundles up even in summer.
emmeline got a job at fortescue’s ice cream parlor so she wouldn’t be stuck inside with her mother all the time. it also gave her a reason to be out in case she needed to stop by st. mungo’s.
muggle classics are her favorite thing to read. she’s obsessed with pride and prejudice - she even has a cat named darcy.
she’s bisexual. she’s known since third year, and she’s definitely had flings with people of all gender identities. her parents don’t know, only because she’s not sure how they would take it.
emmeline supports the order, although the rest of her family is very neutral on the subject despite her mother literally being a muggleborn. they try to be neutral on every subject, but emmeline can’t be on this one.
her blood malediction is more similar to astoria greengrass’s than nagini’s. she doesn’t turn into an animal or anything like that. someone many generations back was cursed in her family, and it’s been relatively dormant until her. lucky her.
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brideshead revisited annoys me because it’s not gay enough. like i know it’d seem like i’m just saying this because i’m gay but listen: it’s supposed to be like, a throwback to that lovely era with nice dresses and wealth when everyone was happy because we’d recently won the great war. but then it’s also showing how shit that is. the marchmain/flyte/i don’t know how their names work family are extremely, ridiculously wealthy, but they have a shitload of problems: the father lives in venice with his girlfriend, the mother is a controlling, religious fanatic who thinks that she’s oppressed for being rich while also believing that she will nevertheless go to heaven because of just how devoted she is (genuinely the line where Charles is like ‘what about that bit where the bible says “it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for the wealthy to enter the kingdom of God”’ and Lady Marchmain’s response is ‘well the point is it’s extremely UNLIKELY but still possible’). Also, they have no means of income so while they obviously are super rich and everything they do have that hanging over their heads of ‘one day, probably soon, we literally are going to be in poverty’.
Then, Sebastian, the middle child (i can’t actually remember off the top of my head whether he’s older or younger than Julia) is hella gay. now, you can quote canon to me and all that, but he IS gay, he IS gay for Charles (whether Charles reciprocated is another matter but i 100% believe that in the canon of the book, the tv series, and obviously the film, Sebastian is gay). in the film this is explicit in him trying to kiss Charles twice, and also the conversation we see with Lady Marchmain when he’s crying which is probably her telling him that he’s committing adultery with Charles because she thinks he thinks about screwing him or whatever. Sebastian is also depressed and an alcoholic, eventually (the book and tv series kind of blend this as happening because of public humiliation and how much of a bitch his mother is, whereas the film frames it more as happening because he’s being forced into a kind of conversion therapy by his mother, and also because Charles rejects him).
So this COULD be a book about being gay in the 1920s and how that was pretty shit in all likelihood, but then it changes tack partway through and becomes about Charles and Julia. Which is annoying because it’s like Waugh goes ‘yeah this gay character has gone to this random country and contracted a disease and yeah that’s the last we see of that guy’. And also, i know it’s kind of the point of the book which is that it ends badly for Charles and his life is basically shittier for having ever met the Marchmains/Flytes, but it’s still unsatisfying.
Also, Charles kind of goes into it thinking he can influence Sebastian’s family. Sebastian is like, my siblings are decent enough but my mum will just try and control you too. And it’s never exactly made explicit, like ‘well i’m instead going to try and control HER, charles thought’ but it’s obvious he goes into it trying to play the devil’s advocate to Lady Marchmain, sort of. he walks in saying he doesn’t believe in God (in the book and tv series when Lady Marchmain learns this, he kind of nervously goes ‘agnostic, actually’, and in the film it’s Lady Marchmain who says ‘agnostic, surely?’ and he smiles and goes ‘nope’ which i think is so funny), and he’s saying he wants to be an artist and all that. but it ends up that he was controlled after all. he was sort of turned against Sebastian, he fought the Marchmains to be able to marry Julia but then she left him for her family. So the Marchmains always get what they want (except in the case of Sebastian, but out of sight out of mind, right?). And also I choose to believe there’s sort of, read-between-the-lines stuff going on because (yes this is kind of delving into headcanon a bit but bear with me) Charles knows Sebastian is gay, maybe they sleep together, maybe they don’t, but anyway Charles and Sebastian end up abandoning each other. Sebastian runs away from his family and Charles ends up running towards it. and i know the book isn’t about gay people, like it isn’t Maurice or anything, but if we just focus on the book (because like i’ve said, the film is explicit with it), the subtext really IS there. having Sebastian and then Charles being friends with the canonically gay Anthony Blanche is put in there, in my opinion, to put the idea of gayness in our minds and then connect that idea to Sebastian. and i’d actually argue the tv series goes further than the book. like, i’ve watched the first half of the series twice, and the second time i remember thinking ‘oh wait this is deadass really gay’. and obviously the film’s creators didn’t pull gayness out of their arses, they must’ve seen the subtext in there and decided to make it a bit more explicit.
tl:dr: brideshead revisited is hella gay and anyone who says it isn’t is wrong
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