#and she forced me to talk at what was probably the worst possible time… in public

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Your ginny metas are always so good! In yhe last one you ended it talking about Luna and Harry cause she's the only one girl Gunny wouldn't consider a threat, but now I'm wondering how would Ginny react to Harry figuring out he is gay after the war? Bet she never thought she had to stop him from looking at boys too, that will probably hit her hard

Thank you so much! 💛

(Anon is referring to this post about Ginny and this post where I explain why I think Harry's gay)

And oh boy, Ginny is not going to like that. I don't think she is particularly homophobic or anything like that, like, if one of her brothers came out as gay, she'd probably be pretty supportive. I just think that if Harry, the boy she's been fixated on being with and idolized and convinced herself she loves (even though I'm not sure I'd call it love), came out as gay, I think she'd be insulted a little.

Like, it would be like a punch to the gut. Like, I mentioned in the post I linked, Ginny has tied up a lot of her self-worth and who she is as a person on being Harry's girl. Like, she changed her behavior for him. She makes sure to be agreeable and never cry in front of him because she can't have him see her as weak and weepy like Cho... I think Harry coming out to her and breaking up with her seemingly for good would force her to acknowledge her fixation on Harry wasn't great, and that maybe her and Harry's relationship isn't perfect and wasn't meant to be.

I honestly think she'd be happier with another guy who actually is attracted to her, but she's going to struggle with this realization a lot before she reaches that point.

I think she'd end up being pretty cold and bitter toward Harry in the immediate aftermath, again, not out of homophobia, just out of how much of her own identity got wrapped up in the concept of their relationship.

So, yeah, I think something like this would hit Ginny hard, but it also depends on when after the war it happens.

Like, if immediately post-book 7 (no epilogue) Harry tells her they aren't getting back together because he realized he's gay, I think she'd be more chill with it. Disappointed, yes, a little bitter at first, definitely, but, it won't be as hard of a hit to her self-worth if he told her that after they got back together post-book 7.

Like, I think, if they got together for Harry's 8th year, and during that year he figures out he's gay — that's the point Ginny would take it the worst, probably. Like, they're just done with the war, Fred died, so many people died. Harry was left as Teddy's only family besides Andromeda. Both of them are traumatized as fuck and don't actually know how to relate to each other and talk about their trauma. So, their relationship is already pretty rocky. Add to that the fact I don't think Harry told Ginny much about the Horcruxes, or himself being one, and she knows he isn't telling her everything, and you really have a mess of a relationship. So Hinny at this stage, are likely not very healthy as a relationship and are a little resentful of each other (Ginny probably does resent Harry a little for keeping her in the dark and leaving her at Hogwarts and not coming back earlier, while Harry probably gets annoyed whenever Ginny tries to talk about what they went through because Harry's way of dealing with trauma is bottling it up), but like in year 6, they snog and distract each other without really talking through their issues.

And then Harry comes out (if it happens in 8th year, there's a high possibility because he fancies someone else — a guy).

I think Ginny would be hit hard. I think at first she wouldn't really believe it, like: "if you want to break up with me you don't need an excuse," but when she realizes it really isn't an excuse, that he's serious, I think she'd accept it, she wouldn't really blame Harry. But a lot of her own identity is mixed up in dating Harry Potter, so I think Ginny would be having a miserable time and would go back to avoiding being around Harry until she built up her self-confidence again or found a better relationship (or both). Like, I think she'd spiral a bit if it were to happen during 8th year (or a bit after) after they were back together for a bit. For Harry, he'd feel a little bad about Ginny, but, like, he was never as invested in their relationship as she was, so he'd take the breakup easier.

If they actually got married and had at least one kid and then Harry tells her, that's gonna be a mess for both of them (but better than if it happened in 8th year, I think). Harry would feel so incredibly guilty that he'd probably decide not to tell her for the longest time so he wouldn't ruin it. Once he does tell her, though, Ginny would be devastated (and still won't show Harry any of it, or maybe she would, depends how her character developed up to that point). I think an illogical part of her would always blame herself a little — like she could've done something different to avoid this outcome even when she knows it doesn't work that way. But I think in this scenario their divorce wouldn't be as bad as if Harry was interested in another girl. Like, I think Ginny would prefer him falling for a guy rather than another woman for her own ego's sake. Even if I can't see their relationship being amazing after this, they'd both be mature enough to make it a decent divorce by this point, I would like to believe.

It would be pretty awkward as Harry is still invited to the Weasleys for all the holidays and could maybe make a fun oneshoot fic of the first Christmas at the Weasleys after Harry's and Ginny's divorce.

[empyrangel]

I’m ~ ~ never going to be able to let myself feel negative emotions. I’m never going to be able to do anything except lie and hide -

[prideprejudce]

I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.

Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.

For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).

Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.

I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.

She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.

As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.

hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what

[nyctophicbtch]

Being Ao’nung’s expected mate:

Author’s note: Ao’nung is a huge simp for the reader, and the reader is just precious. Protect them at all costs.

At first, when Ao’nung found out that you were to be his mate, he was defensive

You tried to be as nice as possible when you had to introduce yourself

But he kept cutting your conversations short

You were already friends with Tsireya, but now that you were to be her brother’s mate, you grew closer

You saw her family more often too

It was a normal day when you bumped into Ao’nung

And he had to ruin your happy mood by being rude

Tsireya had enough

“You could be less rude to them, you know. They never wanted this either.”

They def argued after that

Ao’nung never felt good when he shut you out, but he couldn’t help it

If you hadn’t been forced to be his mate, he probably could’ve fell for you naturally

And he felt like crap every time he saw your smile fade because of him

In all honestly he found you and your smile beautiful

And he hated whenever Tsireya scolded him for making you feel terrible and cry

One day you were laughing with Tsireya and then you saw him

You immediately became quiet and looked uncomfortable

His heart sank

Tsireya gave him a look and he walked pass without a word

He finally decided to apologize the next day, asking you to meet by the waters

“I know I’ve been treating you in the worst possible way.”

Bla bla bla

You still looked uncomfortable just sitting next to him

He promised he’d make up for all the terrible things he had done

Starting now

He led you to an underwater alcove

Your eyes widened when you entered

It was filled with glowing flowers

‘Tsireya told me you love these. Will you take it as my first form of an apology?’ he signed, offering a bracelet made out of the stuff

You hesitantly offer your arm out and he tied it around your wrist

‘Thank you’ you gave him a small smile

He started getting less defensive around you after that

He stopped making hurtful comments or doing anything rude

And once he stopped, he was finally able to actually look at you, and when he did, he couldn’t take his eyes off you

The way you’d play with the kids, the way you’d run off with his sister to do something you weren’t supposed to, the way his name sounded when you said it

And the way you would smile at him

He always liked your smile, but now he found it even more mesmerizing than it already was

Tsireya started noticing how his lingering glances on you would last a tad bit too long

She held back a snort when he accidentally tripped because he was too busy looking at you and not the ground in front of him

She never said anything about it to you, but she made sure to always let Ao’nung know that she knew

The conversations between the two of you grew longer and he started to open up

He starts teasing you

Knowing that it annoys you spurs him to go on

Showing him any form of annoyed reaction is equivalent with encouraging him to continue

He would splash water to your face out of nowhere in the most unecessary times

You would hit the back of his head and give him a heated glare

Which he finds very hot

But you were still a little reserved

The thought that there was a high possibility that you still resented him hurted

Especially when he knew he fell for you

Some nights the two of you spent outside his Marui, talking and enjoying the reflection in the water

His whole body would unconciously lean towards you everytime

Tonight in particular, you decided to lean against him, resting your head on his chest

Ao’nung froze

“Relax. It’s not like I’m asking you to mate with me.”

He became even more flustered

Just because the thought had already crossed his mind multiple nights

Eventually, he would relax and wrap an arm around you

You both basked in the peace

Until Ao’nung randomly blurts out ‘Do you still hate me?’

You shifted yourself away to look at him, much to his disappointment

“What? No.”

Let’s just say it took a couple of bold words and moves to convince him that you didn’t hate him

You felt lightheaded

He had your back pressed up against the wall of the Marui and his hands were deperately trying to pull you closer as he deepened the kiss

His mouth was doing a good job at muffling the tiny sounds that came out of you

But eventually he had to pull away, keeping a finger below your chin as he gazed down at your flushed state through hooded eyes

The two of you couldn’t have been any louder when Aonung’s family were sleeping just through the wall behind you

Tsireya definitely heard.

[mikedfaist]

hiii lov, can u do mike w a pregnant reader please?🥹

i don't know how this happened but jesus took the wheel on this one. you can probably find the exact point where i had to tell myself to stop and just get to the fucking point of this ask

It was his mom that first had suspicion, having watched you nearly purge your lunch from simply the smell of French onion soup, though she remained reticent of her reservation. So, it became of no surprise to her when she calls her son one afternoon, only to find he’s meandering up and down the aisles of a CVS, in search of some Dramamine to help combat your nausea.

“I think it’s some stomach bug… All she does is sleep and throw up.”

“How long has this been going on for?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. A couple days? It’s worse when she first wakes up but it’s kind of up and down throughout the day.”

“You must have a good immune system if you haven’t caught this bug.” He doesn’t coherently reply, but she can hear him hum in response. “Well, let me know if she needs anything. See if she will try some peppermint tea to help with the nausea.”

She isn’t one to meddle; she’ll let her son figure this one out on his own.

It was on that third morning, for the third time, you found yourself sprawled on the bathroom floor, seeking the frigid linoleum with welcoming arms. You focus your thoughts on the sound of the ceiling fan in your bedroom whirring above, and the light snores coming from your partner, who is lucky not to have had his sleep rudely disrupted.

You think the worst has passed you, but any sudden movements could send you right back into a spiral. You close your eyes and pace your breathing, concentrating on the whirring, when you feel a shift and the bathroom door lightly knocks against your feet.

“Babe?” His voice is deep with sleep, and out of the corner of your eye, you see him peek from the sliver of space in the doorway. “Happening again?”

You murmur an acknowledgement, bringing your knees up to your chest to allow him full entry. He doesn’t say anything this time, not when the days before he’s met with a sharp remark, teeth clenching around unwavering nausea on the brink of collapse.

He shuffles in behind you, knees cracking as he bends down to join you on the floor.

“I need you to do me a favor,” you begin, “and I don’t want to talk about it… Just need you to do it without questions.” He’s staring at you, brows furrowing. “I need you to get me a pregnancy test.”

“You don’t really think—”

“What did I just say?” You bit back, and he instantly retreated. You felt him shift behind you, leaning forward to find your hand and give you a supportive squeeze.

“I’ll be back.”

When he returns, you have finally managed to return to the confines of your bed. He held the plastic bag in his hand, unsure where to put it; passing a glance to you as he met you on your side.

“Do you want to now, or…?”

The anxiety would eat you alive if you chose to wait another second without answers. You sat up, took the bag from his hand, and sauntered back into the bathroom. Mike sat on the edge of the bed, toying with the frayed ends of your blanket. He hasn’t really had time to process what could possibly be this life-altering news. You two had thought children were still a couple years out, though the idea thrilled him to a degree. He could always slow down his career if it meant he’d become a father in some 8 months.

He always imagined the spare bedroom as a nursery. He thought about what color they’d paint it, and if he’d take the risk and build a crib by hand. Who would the baby most resemble? What color hair and eyes? Would it have heterochromia like he did? Probably not.

He’s forced out of his thoughts when the bathroom door opens, and you return to him with the test in your hand.

“It says wait 90 seconds, but I haven’t been counting.” You look down at the test and tap it against your palm. “False positives and negatives can happen, so there’s another test in the box to take later to be sure.”

“What do you want?”

“What do you want?”

“I want whatever you want.”

“Mike, I don’t…fuck, I don’t do well under pressure.” You tighten your grip around the test to withhold the urge to hurl it across the room.

“Give it to me.” He reaches his hand out, but you hesitate. “It has to of been 90 seconds by now.”

“If I look then it’s real.”

“Babe, it’s real whether we look or not…and maybe you’re not. But if you are, I am here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

And that was the beginning. After a positive test that left you in a mess on the bedroom floor, and a second one later that evening – and ultimately a third one from a doctor – you two were moving onto this new chapter in your lives together, whether you were ready or not. It took a couple days to let that shock wear off, but once it did, you found yourself ordering pregnancy books online, and scrolling forums, and even looking at maternity clothes that you weren’t even ready for yet.

As for Mike, he was quick to understand pregnancy was not going to be an easy feat for you. The morning sickness persisted, and it led him to research online for some medicines that might ease that burden on you. Peppermint tea just wasn’t cutting it. He would also read the pregnancy books you got, because he couldn’t quite grasp the idea that your organs will just casually move out of the way as the baby grows.

“I don’t get it—where are they moving to? How is there room?”

“There just is…I don’t know.”

The cravings are what took him by storm. You’d wake up in the middle of the night to make pancakes, or a quesadilla, or brownies solely for the batter. If you didn’t have what you were desiring the most, you best believe you’re waking him up, ridden with guilt, because you can’t sleep because all you can think about is a Red Baron pizza.

You have an app on your phone that tracks the size of the baby, and compares it to fruit, so every month, the two of you go to the store to get the fruit that is subsequently your baby.

“Is it weird we’re going to eat it?”

“Just don’t think about it…”

He’ll hold the fruit in his hand and be completely mesmerized. His child is actually the size of a mango?

And you best believe he cried hearing the heartbeat on the ultrasound for the first time, and don’t get me started on when he got to see his little bean for the first time, who was merely just a grey blob on the screen.

He’s obsessed with your growing bump. Always wanting to touch it, lay next to it, feel the little kicks from the inside. Countless nights he has fallen asleep beside it. He keeps all the sonogram photos in his wallet, and some on his bedside table. He’ll show them to anyone who dares to ask.

“The size of a mango. Can you believe that?”

You’ll model for him your new maternity dresses that have been in your shopping cart for months. (He loves it all). He’s there for the foot massages when your feet begin to swell. The back rubs when your bump has grown large enough to cause discomfort. The minute panic attacks when your Braxton Hicks contractions hit in the middle of the night. (He was prepared for this one though, thanks to your pregnancy books).

There are hundreds of photos of you on his camera of your growing bump. He alone could fill a scrapbook to completion. Ones of you at farmers market stalls, or walking around the neighborhood, sorting through all of the baby clothes you bought, deeply contemplating the nursery color in the paint section.

He remembers how scared you were in the beginning, but the two of you have really become a proper family.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟐𝟕

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟖𝐤 (𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲)

⤲ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤!𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

Heessung isn't really sure why he thought it'd be a good idea to show up at your door at midnight on a random wednesday, you haven't been replying to any of his messages or returning to calls after all.

But after Jaeyun's – partly hurtful but true words, he knows this is the right thing to do.

He cares about you and he wants to make sure you know it, not because he's telling you but because because he's actively showing you.

As cliché as it may sound, Heeseung wants his actions to speak instead of his words and after hiding a rather important fact about his "best friend" from you, he knows he has to take advantage of every moment Sunghoon isn't by your side.

The past four days your brother has been trying his very best to take care of you, forcing you to do the basic hygiene part, whereas he took over the other stuff such as cleaning your apartment and bringing you home cooked meals Jongseong had sent to you.

Only after you promised to call him whenever you're eating, has he decided to give you some space, knowing you'd stay true to your words.

It's only been about two hours since Sunghoon had come home after staying at your place most week and as soon as Heeseung saw his best friend firmly asleep on the couch, he knew had to take the chance and leave.

Leave to see you, leave to finally hear more than "she told me", leave to find and pull you into his arms, breathe you in and apologize, explain himself to you and beg for your forgiveness.

There's so much he wants to do and say but he knows he has to be careful with his words. From what Sunghoon's been telling him, you haven't been talking much, one word answers and two word questions the only thing to leave your lips, mostly to make sure your brother doesn't go into cardiac arrest.

Heeseung's been too scared to talk to Jungwon about you, even though he's aware you two have been in contact since your brother had almost started crying when he talked about how proud he felt when he saw you listening to your best friend's voice mails.

Knowing he's broken your heart as bad as this has been destroying him in the worst way possible, yet he never once blamed anyone but himself, as usual.

However, this time he's decided to actually do something about it instead of just accepting his fate.

Heeseung has never been as serious about someone as he is with you and that's why he won't go down without a fight the way he usually does.

And maybe because he's still hopeful of a future with you, something he used to be too scared to even imagine, but actually had gotten a taste of and fell in love with just a few days ago.

Only by the time he arrives at the front door of your apartment, does Heeseung realise you'll probably see him through your security camera and deny him entrance, something he hasn't quite thought of when he rushed out of his own home to get to you.

But as soon as he decides to accept his defeat of the day, a gentle buzzing noise makes it way through his loud thoughts and with a gasp he pushes the door open, doesn't even bother waiting for the elevator.

And for a moment you wonder why you had decided to actually open the door for him, when your own brother had to beg for the same exact thing.

Maybe it's a moment of weakness and you don't actually want to see him and maybe it's the urge to hear him out, too lost in and broken from all those horrible thoughts that have been clouding your brain for the past four days.

You've barely stopped crying ever since your conversation about his best friend and functioning like an average human being has definitely never been this difficult.

So why would you actually give him the chance to say all these things to your face?

What's the point in looking at him while getting your heart broken? Does it make it any less painful, more real?

You actually have no idea, yet feel your breath hitching at the sudden sight of Lee Heeseung.

Dressed in a pair of dark sweats, a thick hoodie and an even bigger puffer jacket, his hair messily falling into his eyes because of the beanie on his head and at the sight of his glossy bambi eyes, you somehow feel your heart healing just the tiniest bit.

You've missed him.

The sound of his voice, his touch, his kisses and his scent, just him.

After finally getting a taste of being so close to him, you've stopped denying just how much your body's been craving him and his presence rather quickly.

You've never hated him for the things he's done and said and you probably won't ever feel resentment for him, yet he's always managed to break your heart into thousands of pieces to the point where breathing felt like an actual challenge.

As your eyes roam his tired face, you let out a shaky sigh when you notice the darkness under his eyes and exhaustion lingering in the sweet brown around his slightly dilated pupil.

Just as usual a beat of silence follows his sudden presence and gives you enough time to take in the sight you've missed so much, yearning to be in his arms and finally feel the ache in your heart slowly but surely fade away.

You know he's always going to be the only one to have this effect on you, even if he happens to be the reason for the pain in the first place.

"Can I – Can you please hear me out? All I need is five minutes and then I'll leave, I promise." Heeseung's voice is strained and raspy, slightly hoarse and for a moment you wonder if he's been just as effected by everything as you.

"Come in", you reply calmly and look at him with tired eyes, destroying his heart with a chainsaw in the process as he notices how physically and emotionally exhausted you look.

With a soft sigh you step to the side and watch the way he takes his shoes off before he walks into the hallway of your apartment.

You notice his lack of gloves, his pale hands red from the cold and the urge to take them in yours and warm him up is definitely harder to suppress than you thought.

"Do you want me to make you some tea? A hot water bottle? Need a blanket?"

You don't look at him as the words leave your lips because for some reason you feel embarrassed about the fact he's the first person besides your brother and best friend who you've said this many words to within the past few days.

And as soon as you lift your head and actually meet his eyes, he seems surprised, just as you'd expected, maybe even a little confused.

Every time you've talked to Heeseung ever since Jake's birthday, you've noticed this certain expression of uncertainty and surprise in his eyes, as if he couldn't believe you were actually as interested in him as you claimed to be.

"I – no, thank you", he stammers and takes his jacket off, revealing his pretty neck to your hungry eyes and you hate how you seem so shameless when it comes to him.

"I'm listening."

Your sudden reply doesn't sound like one, but definitely is a demand.

Heeseung can tell how tense you are from the way you've balled both hands into fists as they're neatly placed on your thighs and the way you've been chewing the inside of your cheek for the past few minutes.

"I hate Bae Sumin", he begins and looks away as her name leaves his lips because he knows he can't bear your reaction to hearing it and from the way your eyes start burning with tears, you're glad he knows you as well as he does.

"She's the biggest mistake and only regret in my life", a deep sigh follows his words before he pulls his beanie off of his head and reveals the rest of his messy hair to you, "and she's been blackmailing me into a friendship with her ever since the day we met."

Now that new piece of information leaves you speechless.

You can't help but look at him with raised brows and parted lips, actual shock grazing your features and as soon as Heeseung catches a glimp of your expression, he can't help but pull his bottom lip between his teeth.

He hates himself for being so attracted to you to the point where everything you say or do is driving himninto insanity. Evennin the most inappropriate moments.

"Care to uhm – elaborate?"

Heeseung nods and starts fumbling with the rings on his fingers, quickly pulling your attention to the one you know your brother had gotten him on his 18th birthday and the one he hasn't taken off ever since.

"Right after the party, Hoonie and I both started our jobs at the company and neither one of us actually knew who Sumin was because she's only recently started being part of her family's public image", he explains and you nod, attentively listening to him and trying your best not to focus on the way his lips move.

"She applied for the manager job of the basketball team and that's how we ran into each other again. Sunghoon never liked her and none of the boys were fond of her, either", the sound of another deep exhale fills the space of your living room, "long story short, about a month into the semester she told me about how her uncle, who just so happens to be Hoonie's boss, asked her if she knew the new intern and what she thinks of him."

"Oh, my God", you whisper when the realisation hits you. Yet again, life had decided to test Heeseung with the loyalty towards his best friend and with big eyes you look at him.

"Ever since that day she asked me to spend time with her and whenever you said no one too many times, she went 'it'd be such a bummer if your precious Sunghoon lost the internship he worked so hard for' and that's why I'm stuck with her."

All of a sudden everything makes sense.

Everything he's done and said, just to protect your brother's future career and current situation. Neither one of them ever fails to surprise you with their selflessness whenever it comes to each other and as your brain processes his words, you can't help but tear up again.

It's not like you minded Sumin's prrsence in his life, you never cared enough in the first place.

"Why did you hide it from me?"

You don't give your brain enough time to intervene as you voice the question lingering in your broken heart, a thick veil of tears blurring your sight almost instantly.

"I thought it was the right thing", Heeseung whispers and you hate how his voice breaks at the end of his sentence, since it genuinely worsens the state of your shattered soul.

"Would you still have thought the same if I did that, Heeseung?"

"Huh?"

"Imagine if I fucked Jungwon at one point and didn't tell you", you say and instantly feel a weird taste coating your tongue at the mere thought of crossing a line like that with your life long best friend, "would you have preferred if I kept it to myself?"

Within a second jealousy flashes through Heeseung's eyes and you can tell how he's tensing up the more he thinks about it.

"No", he presses through gritted teeth and throws his head back with a sigh of defeat.

"Then you understand why I'm as hurt as I am, right?"

"Yes, Baby", he mumbles, his head shoots up as soon as he realises how he had addressed you, but you don't bother correcting him.

"You have to tell Sunghoon and cut that bitch out of your life, Heeseung", you finally say after a long beat of silence, the sudden waves of anger towards the young woman resurfacing way quicker than you could have expected, "or I won't give you another chance."

Your ultimatum doesn't come to either one of you as a surprise; you both know there's no way you'd let that woman be part of his life along with you, too aware she'd make everything a competition to the point where it ruins you.

Heeseung didn't expect any less from you, he even feels proud of how confident you are about it, glad you finally know your worth and set boundaries.

"I'm going to talk to your brother", he then sighs and shakes his head, "his career isn’t worth losing you forever. Nothing is.. He's smart and ambitious, has good grades and a great reputation, he'll find something else."

You can't deny just how happy his words make you. For the first time in what feels like ever, Heeseung isn't choosing your brother over you, something you never dare to think about yet are often reminded of. A fact you know you should feel ashamed about because of their bond and its importance, yet can't help but feel validated by.

"Jaeyun suggested to print the screenshots out and send them to her uncle", he suddenly says and looks up at you, attentively taking in the sight of your puffy, bloodshot eyes and your swollen lips, losing himself in the thought of kissing you for a second.

"That sounds a lot like a Sim Jaeyun plan", you chuckle and fumble with the tissue in your hand, "and I think it's a good one. Hoon's been the backbone of his team for almost four years, they know how good he's at his job. Even if she's close with her uncle, he'll probably think of his business first."

Heeseung approves your words with a soft nod, runs both hands over his face and pulls his beaie back over his head with a gentle sigh.

"Thank you for hearing me out", he says and suddenly stands up, "I'm sorry for hiding this from you and I'm going to do everything in my power to show you I'm worth your forgiveness."

He sounds confident yet unsure, his eyes fixated on yours and yet obviously filled with longing for your approval.

"Have you eaten anything today yet? Do you want me to order you something?"

With your brows furrowed in confusion you look up at him, the current position making him lightheaded as you your pretty eyes are focused on his face and he oh so happens to stand right in front of your seated self.

"Are you..leaving?"

You're surprised at your own question.

You didn't mean to ask him, yet the suddenness of his movements have overwhelmed you and you're actually scared he might just go.

"Yes", he says quickly and sighs, taking another step back, "I don't deserve to stay just yet. I have to earn the privilege of being with you, princess."

You physically can't stop yourself from tearing up at his words and with glossy eyes you look at him, slowly standing up and absolutely indulging in the close proximity.

For some reason the air is heavier than just a few minutes ago and you can't help but wonder if you're the only one to feel like that.

"Okay", you whisper and finally take a step away from him, despite the urge to bury your face in the crook of his neck and fall asleep with his scent in your system.

"Just to make sure, you didn't fuck Jungwon, did you?" Heeseung laughs awkwardly, yet loosens up as soon as he hears your little chuckle followed my an eye roll when you shake your head in response to his question.

"Losing your virginity to your best friend is such a cliché", you add casually and cross your arms over your chest when a sudden coldness hits you.

"P-Pardon?"

And as soon as Heeseung speaks, you freeze.

The realization of what you've just told him hits you like a ton of iced bricks, sends shivers down your spine and actually leaves you gasping for air for a solid minute.

You weren't planning on telling Heeseung about something so intimate, not yet.

The fear of your lack of actual experience scaring him away is far too big to risk it and the thought of him being turned off by you sends a rush of anxiety through your veins.

"I'm sorry", you sigh and grab your forehead, "I didn't mean to make it awkward."

You try to play his reactions off, mostly to make sure neither one of you is unnecessarily uncomfortable but mostly to stop your brain from interpreting things under the influence of arousal.

He already had a slightly flushed face and ears when he walked in a few minutes ago, the cold the reason behind it. And his glossy – no, needy eyes are something you should have gotten used to a long time ago. Heeseung looks at everyone like that, there's absolutely no point int reading into it too much.

"But, you had boyfriends", he suddenly says and looks at you confused, his statement flustering you in the worst way possible.

"Can we please not talk about this, Heeseung", you whisper and feel shame and embarrassment overwhelm you again, "I really don't want to."

"Okay – yeah, of course", he whispers and almost chokes on his own spit at the mere possibility of being your first in something still existing.

"Can I just..ask you a question?"

The words lay heavy on his tongue because he's ready to have his hope being shattered into million pieces yet again but for some reason he can't help but be hopeful.

"I am."

Is the only thing you reply, not giving him the chance to vocalise said question as you let out a shaky sigh and look away.

After going through all these emotions the past few days, you definitely didn't expect to find yourself talking about your virginity with Heeseung, of all people.

Admitting your lack of orgasms from someone else was difficult enough, you definitely wanted to wait a little longer to tell him about this. If you had ever planned to come clean about it in the first place anyway.

Heeseung tries his very best to stay composed and calm but this new found information about you is about to drive him into absolute insanity.

You're a virgin. Nobody has ever had the privilege to lose themselves inside of you. Nobody knows what you feel and look like when you're filled to the brim. Nobody on this fucking earth has ever had you cumming for them in the most intimate way possible.

No matter how hard he tries to deny it, there's a feeling of relief rushing through his chest. He never expected you to be untouched, he couldn't have. Yet knowing he still has the opportunity to be the first, if you ever saw him worthy enough, excited him more than it should.

He never cared if his partners were inexperienced.

And he never found himself genuinely caring about it when it came to you. Of course he somehow hoped to give you the opportunity to live new experiences, maybe a few firsts but not like this.

First the fact nobody has ever made you cum and now this.

"I should – get going", he suddenly presses out, his head spinning from the lack of oxygen in his lungs and for a minute he's convinced he might just pass out.

"Oh", you can't help but feel a sting in your heart at his response, "okay."

As soon as he hears the tone of your voice, a huge warning pops off in his mind and with attentive eyes he tries to read your expressions.

You've looked hurt since you had opened him the door, yet this time there seems to be something else. A different type of pain lingering in the sweet color of your eyes as you try to maintain eye contact.

"What's wrong?"

He quickly asks and reaches for your face, only to stop himself halfway up when he remembers his initial intentions.

"I'm just tired", you say calmly and you're technically not lying to him, you've barely slept all week after all, "my mind's a little fuzzy still, so I think I should go to sleep soon."

"That's not everything."

Damn Lee Heeseung and his stupid ability to read you like an open book.

You've always thought your poker face is good enough, only to realize it's probably a joke to him.

"It's been a long week, Seung", you sigh, "let's call it a night for now, yeah? We can talk about it tomorrow or whenever you're free."

"Baby please", he finally dares to step a little closer to you, "I want to take care of you the way you deserve. Please, give me the chance to."

With your lips pressed into a thin line you play with the hem of your oversized shirt, trying to sort out what exactly it is you're feeling and thinking.

"It's not the right time", you whisper suddenly, "I haven't forgiven you yet."

Your words are harsh, but honest and Heeseung is glad you're standing your ground and refuse to give in as easily as one might expect from you.

No matter how much his heart hurts, he knows you've been hurting worse because of him these past few days. This is the least you could tell him.

"You're right, I'm so–."

"And I told you I'd disappoint you when it comes to the topic of intimacy", you don't really know why you decided to interrupt him or say what had just fallen past your lips but you simply couldn't stop yourself from saying that, even if you had tried.

"Disappoint..me?"

Heeseung seems genuinely confused about your words.

There's absolutely nothing he could think of when it comes to this topic you could ever disappoint him with. Let alone your lack of experience.

"I have done a few things", you whisper and hate the way your body grows hotter at the thought of talking to Heeseung about sex, "I just never made it to the point where I wanted to go all the way in."

Your confession makes his heart skip a beat, just so it can hammer against his rib cage with full force, thrumming in his throat and ears.

For a second Heeseung feels the need to steady himself and subconsciously reaches for you, despite knowing he hasn't moved an inch the past few minutes.

"And you think that's disappointing to me?" he asks curiously and never once shifts his gaze from yours, the fire in his usually so soft and gentle eyes one you've grown quite familiar with and all you can do is nod hesitantly.

"Baby", he presses through gritted teeth, "I never cared about it. And I still don't. You're still going to be the only thing on my mind when I cum."

Heeseung's lewd choice of words definitely shouldn't surprise you as much as it does, since you've heard it quite a few times now, yet you still can't help but gasp for air.

You hate the way your brain is fighting your body, telling you to be rational and not get worked up over him talking to you like this, but how could you when this is Lee Heeseung. The one man you've ever fantasized about, the main character of all your dirty fantasies and dreams, the one you've been secretly saving yourself for.

There's no way you can actively stop your heart from beating a little further down, right in between your legs.

"Does it drive me crazy? Absolutely", he breathes and pushes a strand of your hair out of your face with one of his fingers, never once touching your skin yet sending shivers down your spine, "but it's never been of relevance for me. I still want you like a starved man."

"Stop", you whisper and let your hands find home in the fabric of his hoodie, tightening your grip and pushing yourself against his chest without hesitation; a complete contrast to your request, "I'm not strong enough to reject you right now."

"Does it feel like I'm taking advantage of your vulnerability, Y/N?"

Heeseung's question surprises you and with a soft sigh you shake your head. It never felt like he's taking advantage of any of your emotional states, which probably just makes everything even worse. Everything he does and says seems so genuine and honest, you can't get yourself to distance yourself from him. No matter how hard you try.

You know you should still be angry and mad at him, what he's done isn't supposed to be forgiven this quickly but the way you're physically and emotionally craving him feels unhealthy if not treated.

"Your words, Baby, need you to use them for me", he whispers against your lips and sighs softly when you let out a tiny "no, Seungie".

He genuinely can't believe how hard he's right now, not after he's been crying the past few days thinking of ways to make his wrongdoing up to you. Not after he genuinely thought about leaving the city to give you the space you need.

“Good girl”, the praise leaves his lips almost instinctively. There’s always been something about the way you look at him which makes him want to lay the world to your feet and never have you lift a single finger again.

He’s been wondering if you enjoy hearing it as much as he likes doing it and as soon as you bury your face in his neck with the softest, neediest whimper he’s ever heard, Heeseung finally gets the answer to his question.

“Baby, what do you want me to do? I want you to decide”, he whispers softly, his big hands caressing your back as he loses himself in the feeling of holding you in his arms.

“I feel like I should send you home and get my ass to sleep”, you reply and finally wrap your arms around his small waist, pressing yourself even closer against his chest in an attempt to ease your nerves.

“No, princess. What do you want? Forget about what you think you should do, this is all about you and your needs and desires."

Heeseung takes your face into his big hands in the softest and most gentle way possible, nudges his nose against yours and grazes his lips against your parted ones with a soft sigh.

"I want you to stay", you finally let go of all those thoughts in your head and take a deep breath, loving the way his scent fills your nose and calms your nerves just how you needed, "and I want to fall asleep in your arms."

"There you go, well done", Heeseung smiles against your lips, yet doesn't move any further and that's when you realize he's not going unless you tell him.

"And I want you to kiss me."

That's everything he needs to hear and without missing another beat, Heeseung presses his pretty lips against yours, capturing them in a hungry kiss.

He wants to go slow and soft, yet after finally getting a taste, he's been thinking about nothing else. It takes him every bit of self control not to shove his tongue down your throat and have you moan into his mouth the way you did in his car all those days ago.

But as you start moving further into his touch, your kisses growing greedier, hungrier and needier, your hands digging into the actual skin of his waist, Heeseung knows you're just as impatient as he is.

So without losing more time, he reaches for your arms and places them around his neck, a soft grunt escaping his pretty lips when you pull off his beanie and let your hands find home in his hair. The urge to pull you even closer against his body until not a single piece of paper could fit in between the two of you is overwhelming and for a moment Heeseung isn't sure if there's any oxygen left in his lungs.

You hum into his mouth, letting him take over and enjoying the way his tongue plays with yours, grazing it too and exploring your mouths in the most perfect way possible.

Heeseung's hands are messily roaming your body, groping and kneading every bit of flesh he can reach and you can tell how much he's holding himself back by the gentle pain in your hips from how much he's been digging his fingers into your skin. So with a gentle push to his wrist, you guide him to your ass, a soft whimper falling past your lips as soon as he takes a handful of your soft flesh, pushing your hips against his own without realizing it.

You love the way Heeseung is making you feel. Everything about the way he kisses and touches you makes you feel desired and adored in a way none of your previous boyfriends had managed to and for the first time in your life you actually feel sexy.

Heeseung doesn't give you much time to think, his lips sucking on your tongue, teeth digging into the soft flesh of your bottom lip as he kisses his way to your chin and down to your neck with a deep grunt rumbling through his chest.

A row of your soft whimpers and little whines fill the space of your living room and as soon as he hears the way you're falling apart for him, from just a few kisses, he feels like he could cum in his pants without the feeling of a single touch.

"Tell me to stop", he whispers, begs gently and sucks the skin of your neck into his mouth, "please, Baby."

"No", you whisper quickly and guide his hand to your chest, yearning for his touch, only for your breath to hitch in your throat as soon as you takes one of your tits into his palms, "I want you so bad."

"How do you want me, angel girl? I'm at your mercy, wanna do whatever you want me to." Heeseung's voice is raspy and hoarse, the arousal present in every single one of his words.

Of course it doesn't take you longer than a second to know what you want. You've been dreaming about it for months now, your thoughts just intensifying after seeing the name of a certain groupchat.

Only one of your three boyfriends had ever tried to go down on you, only to leave you absolutely disappointed after about a minute of trying. Their lack of desire as well as energy and motivation definitely weren't something you enjoyed and for some reason you just know Heeseung is going to be the exact opposite.

Maybe that's why asking him isn't as difficult and embarrassing as it used to be with your previous lovers.

"I want you to eat me out."

The words of every single fantasy he's ever had are finally processing in his brain because you actually said them out loud.

Heeseung has never wanted much in his life, he never had the privilege to ask for a lot, so he's always been cautious about what he wants.

Burying his face in your pretty cunt has been on top of that small list for as long as he can think of, right after you as a whole.

So as his brain tries to make its way through the fog of arousal, he can't help but halt his movements.

For a moment you're actually afraid you might have turned him off with your request, your choice of words or your boldness, only to notice the way his eyes have turned darker than you've ever seen them as he looks up at you with flushed cheeks and parted lips.

"Say that again", he whispers against your mouth and digs his fingers further into the flesh of your thighs, "please, Baby. I have to hear them again so I know this isn't another dream."

Another dream.

So he has actually been thinking about you in that way and despite his several confessions you can't help but gulp harshly once the realization hits you.

"I want you to eat me out, please", you repeat yourself a little less confident, your voice smaller than before because of all the arousal clouding your brain and as soon as Heeseung's deep moan fills your ears you feel your cunt clenching in despair, ruining your panties even more.

"That's my girl", Heeseung grunts and suddenly drops to his knees, pushes your oversized shirt up just enough to reveal the skin of your lower stomach before he starts littering open mouthed kisses all over you.

"Mine", that single word and its meaning send shivers down your whole body and yet again your heart starts beating in the center of your pussy to the point where you can feel just how sensitive you've gotten.

You attentively watch the way Heeseung takes off his own Hoodie, leaving him in a black shirt and for some reason he's never looked as attractive as he does on his knees with his flushed face so close to where you need him the most.

"Come on, Baby", he suddenly whispers and gently pulls down your shirts, revealing your little lace panties to his hungry eyes and quickly burying his face in your clothed cunt, "tell me who you belong to, yeah? Use those big girl words for me."

You try everything in your power to form a proper, coherent sentence but the fact you can feel Heeseung's pretty nose nudge against your sensitive clit has your head spinning to the point where keeping your balance is an actual struggle.

"You smell perfect", his voice is muffled by the way he's pressing his nose deeper in between your legs right before he gently pushes them further apart and pulls away to look at you.

"Oh, Baby", Heeseung cooes and looks uo at you with a soft smile and the prettiest shine in his bambi eyes, "you're fucking soaked. Made a mess of those pretty panties, what a bummer."

And before you can even think about what to reply, you hear the sound of fabric being torn apart, followed by watching your now destroyed underwear gently fall to the floor.

"Don't worry, I'll get you a new pair", he whispers but from the way he's staring at your now exposed cunt you can tell he's barely available anymore.

You try to read his expression, only to come to the conclusion that Heesung looks drunk. His eyes are heavy, his cheeks an even darker shade of red than before, lips swollen from the abuse of his teeth and his words sounds slurred.

You've never had anyone look at you with such hunger and that's probably why you don't feel exposed at all. Usually this would have been the point where you ask your boyfriend to turn off the lights to feel a little more comfortable and hidden but as you're standing there with your complete cunt put on full display for Heeseung to look at and admire, you've never felt more at ease.

"Say something, please", you whisper and push your fingers through his thick hair, tilting his head back to meet his gaze and you can't help but hasp at the way he looks at you.

"Couch", Seung whispers and gets on his feet, his hand around your wrist, "and spread those pretty legs for me, princess."

His words, voice and touch feel hypnotizing and without hesitation you find yourself doing as you're told, your eyes never once shifting away from his face and if it wasn't for how well you know him, you'd be worried about the look on Heeseung's handsome face.

It doesn't take long for him to drop to his knees yet again, yet this time he seems hesitant and all of a sudden tension floods your body.

"No", he whispers and quickly pushes your legs apart again, his other hand reaching for the couch as he digs his nails into the soft fabric until his knuckles have turned white, "I just need a moment to stop myself from cumming in my pants."

His confession has your cunt clenching around nothing and you can feel your juices leak out of you, something you have never experienced before and yet again, not an ounce of shame or embarrassment overwhelms you.

Knowing Heeseung has to physically calm himself to stop himself from reaching his climax makes your eyes roll into the back of your head and with a soft whimper you reach for his hair.

"This is the most perfect pussy I've ever seen", he whispers, his lids flutter shut before he pushes his cheek against your inner thigh, followed by a row of open mouthed kisses on the soft skin.

"And it's all mine."

His possessiveness comes naturally, he never meant for these thoughts to leave his head but as soon as you said those words to him, Heeseung has stopped thinking rationally and isn't planning on going back anytime soon.

And from the way you're bucking your hips up with the sweetest, most desperate whimper he's ever heard he can tell you're actually agreeing to him.

"Say it, Baby", you have no idea how many times he's made you use your words today but you don't even think about denying his request.

"It's yours, Seungie", you whine and try your best to stop squirming but no matter what, the arousal has become absolutely unbearable.

You've never been this turned on in your entire life and for the first time you're actually positive you might actually cum.

"Good girl", the praise rolls off of his tongue in the most casual manner and you hate how much heat it sends through your veins; you're already on fire and everything he does or says, just the way he looks at you pours more gasoline to it and you feel like you might pass out from the overwhelming feeling.

"You're so fucking wet." Heeseung wants to be a little less blunt and more sensual, softer and a little more romantic but his brain has shut off minutes ago and at the sight of your soaked cunt he can't seem to produce a single thought.

He's never been this aroused, none of his fantasies coming close to reality as his eyes take in the image of you in the most perfect way possible.

"Please, Seungie", you breathe as the anticipation becomes too much, "I want you so bad."

How could he ever deny a request so sweet? How could he even think about denying you what he's been dreaming about for years to the point where not a single day passed by without thoughts of you saying exactly these words to him?

So with a soft sigh and his eyes glued on your face, Heeseung leans down and lets his tongue graze over the slit of your pretty cunt, only for a deep, guttural moan of his to fill the quiet space of your living room.

For a whole minute, the world comes to a stop as the taste of your sweet juices spread on his tongue and send him into the deepest, darkest corners of his lust; something he would have never expected to see yet has already become addicted to with just a single taste.

"Finally", is the first word to leave his lips after what felt like an eternity and you can't help but bite your bottom lip at the sight of his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

You expect him to say something else, but as soon as Heeseung finds his way back to reality, he literally buries his face in your cunt and starts lapping up every single drop of your arousal without shame.

The feeling of his hot tongue grazing your drenched folds, his moans and soft whimpers, as well as the feeling of his nails digging into your hips as he pushes you against his mouth is absolutely overwhelming. There's no other way to describe what your body is going through.

You throw your head back in ecstasy, losing yourself in the haze of pleasure and finally getting what you've been dreaming about for so long, from the man you've never stopped thinking about.

And Lee Heeseung can definitely back up his big words. The way his tongue slowly yet firmly works its way up and down your pretty pussy isn't meant to bring you to the edge, it's just him savoring your taste in his mouth and literally devouring you.

With every flick of his hot muscle against your hardened, sensitive bundle of nerves you arch your back, pushing yourself against him even further until his noises are completely muffled and all you can think about is the sweet feeling of relief slowly building up in the bottom of your spine.

You can barely pay attention to his pretty face, the pleasure taking over every single bone in your body and by the time you do look down, you're absolutely mesmerized by the sight you're met with.

Heeseung seems absolutely lost in your pussy, skillfully moving his head with his tongue flattened, sucking your clit into his hot mouth before he pushes his to gue into your tight hole and easily starts fucking you with it.

Neither one of you manages to say anything; not a single word being exchanged as you both lose yourself in your biggest fantasy becoming reality.

With every movement of his tongue, your little hole clenches even tighter, making a mess of his whole face to the point where you can see your juices covering his flushed cheeks.

"S-Seung", your breath hitches in your throat when you suddenly feel his thumb pressing against your sensitive clit, rubbing gentle circles into it and pushing you even closer to the edge in a way nobody has ever managed to do it before.

"Need it, princess", Heeseung grunts and pushes his tongue into your pussy, looking up at you with the tip of his pretty nose grazing your clit whenever his digit disappears, "I need you to cum all over my tongue."

All you can do is nod as his name falls past your bit swollen lips in breathy whimpers and high pitched moans to the point where you're convinced your neighbors probably know who's currently buried between your legs.

But you can't get yourself to care enough. Your only focus being the prettiest man you've ever seen and the feeling of his tongue grazing the spongy walls of your cunt.

"You're almost there, angel girl", he sighs and pulls you closer to his face, gently rubbing another set of circles into your clit as he laps up more of your juices, not giving a fuck about the way a mixture of his own spit and your arousal is dripping down his neck, "do it for me, yeah? Be my good girl and cum for me, cum for your man."

And for some reason his choice to address himself as well as the sweet, raspy tone of his voice are more than enough to push you over the edge.

The coil in your lower stomach finally snaps and with a harsh inhale, the feeling of sweet relief starts spreading through your body all the way to the tip of your fingers and toes.

"That's my good girl", Heeseung mumbles but you can barely hear him, his voice muffled from the blood rushing in your ears as your heart slams against your rib cage and your cunt spasms uncontrollably around his tongue.

And as he watches the way you lose yourself in the sweetness of your orgasm, Heeseung can't help but smile against your pretty pussy, eyes heavy as he swallows your release and swears it's the sweetest thing he's ever had the privilege to taste.

You have absolutely no idea how much time passes until your ears stop ringing and you actually feel air filling your lungs, your sight still slightly blurry when you open your eyes and loosen your tight grip on Heeseung's hair.

You need another moment to regain your composure until your eyes drop to the man between your legs, only to whimper when you watch the way he places the softest kisses on your pulsating clit, followed by a soft "so good".

The longer you look at him, the harder the realization of what just happened hits you and for some reason your body decides to represent your current state in the form of tears because before you can even overthink anything, you feel them pricking at the corners of your eyes.

Heeseung still seems completely dazed, like he can barely keep his eyes open and you don't miss the way he keeps licking your lips to make sure not a single drop goes to waste.

But as soon as his hazy brain manages to pull him back to the here and now, his brows furrowed in light confusion and instead worry flashes through his hooded eyes.

"What's wrong, Baby? Did I hurt you? Was it too much? Did I take it too far?"

You can literally feel the heaviness vanishing from his shoulders and chest when you instantly start shaking your head, denying his implications and just reaching for his face to pull his whole body closer to your own.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry", you sob into the crook of his neck, barely noticing the way he flips you two over rather casually, "it was perfect. I've never felt this good. Nobody has ever..thank you."

Heeseung can't help but chuckle breathlessly at your words. He definitely wasn't expecting you to cry after receiving your first orgasm from someone else but the sincerity in your voice is what does it to him. The fact you're still so gentle and sweet after making an actual mess of his face is so like you, he actually feels himself falling for you all over again.

"No, Baby, thank you for giving me the privilege of your pleasure", he sighs and kisses your forehead, making sure not to get any of your juices on your skin to avoid awkwardness, "I won't ever take this for granted. This is everything I've ever dreamed of."

You don't know what to say, all you can do is treasure his words and give them the safest place in your heart before your eyes start feeling heavy as the exhaustion of your orgasm finally hits you.

"I can't stay tonight, Baby", Heeseung says softly after he's firmly tucked you into the warmth of your bed, his hand gently caressing your cheek and you sleepily nod, "I don't want to lie to Sunghoon or talk about another woman, even if she doesn't exist, when it's about you. I'll call you tomorrow and come by after your brother's left, yeah?"

You nod and kiss the palm of his ring clad hand with a soft sigh, loving the fact his face is the lash thing you'll see before falling asleep.

"Good girl", Heeseung says and gives you one last kiss on the forehead before he gets up, "I'm so proud of you, Baby. My perfect little princess. All mine, right?" You hum approvingly, not awake enough to properly register what he's said but agreeing nonetheless.

"And I'm all and only yours, angel girl." That's the last thing to reach you and as Heeseung watches the way your lids fall shut and don't open again, he can't help but stay another five minutes just to look at you and wonder how he could ever be worthy of a heart as perfect as yours.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: the length..i’m sorry about the length like genuinely…but i hope you still enjoyed it and dont worry i’d skip a lot if i were you so just go ahead 💀 sending everyone kisses and tysm for all the love and support, i love you SO much 🥺🩷 especially feedback and reblogs are appreciated my loves!🧸💗)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

[m00nsbaby]

Already over.

Main Steven Grant x F! reader. ( + Marc Spector x F! Reader)

Part 2. Sleepwalking.

Warnings & tags. ANGTS!! Cheating kinda but not really?, hurt, and all of thaaaat.

Word count. 3.4k

Summary.

We been talking for hours About how we shouldn't talk for hours on end. Kissing after a conversation About how we'd probably be better off as friends. Same time here next weekend Say, "We won't do this again" Make me fall where I stand Only like you can.

It had been a while since Steven and you had accepted your positions in Marc's life. Both of you were external parts of something larger, like small protrusions on a road that led nowhere.

You decided to understand it when you realized the burden Marc had to carry. Khonshu had taken hold of his psyche and shattered it as he pleased, although he was aware of his dissociative identity disorder, he had started to lose control a long time ago and this resulted in Steven finding out in the worst possible way. It was as if life itself had decided to break him in every possible way.

Hadn't he suffered enough already? Steven and you weren't going to take away the last thing he had.

The love of his life. Layla El-Faouly.

You envied her in different ways. Living a life of adventures with the man of your dreams sounded like something out of a book. She was a strong woman and the first in Marc's life, and therefore also in Steven's, but if there was something that broke your heart in half, it was knowing that she was happy with him.

It would be a lie to say that you weren't happy with Steven. He gave you all of himself and loved you in a way he never tried to hide. But for years now, you had been the one picking up the pieces of two broken people and putting them back together. And then, there was Layla, who didn't even know about the existence of her husband's alter ego, enjoying the best part.

The carefree part that stood above all the atrocities of daily life, simply having a nice date or the official title of his wife, with a ring and legal documents.

"Do you miss working at the museum?" Steven's fingers traced your waistline, occasionally pausing to press on the moles peeking beneath the fabric of your short shirt.

"You have no idea how much." You could never tell him how much you appreciated that he didn't lie to you. You knew he comforted Marc by telling him that life was perfect just the way it was.

You were face to face. You admired Steven's face in front of you.

Anyone would think that once the issue of his fake sleep disorder was cleared up, he would look less tired. Although there were still hundreds of nocturnal missions, and Khonshu destroyed the mercenary's body until an exhaustion beyond description, now Steven could sleep a few more hours, the ones where he used to force himself to read until the letters danced before him.

Nothing had changed at all. In fact, you could swear that the dark circles under his eyes were becoming more noticeable.

"I love you, Steven." You said suddenly, resting a hand on his cheek. His skin had always been so soft and delightfully warm.

You brought a smile to his face, the one that momentarily makes you forget that both of you feel that time is running out.

The one that makes you forget the slight resentment you have towards Marc.

"I love you…" He whispered before leaning forward, just enough to brush his lips against yours, a gentle touch as his hand rested on your waist, and his thumb traced circles on your bare skin.

He wasn't lying; Steven never lied.

You spent the rest of the afternoon kissing and chatting about what had happened during the week you couldn't see each other. You asked about Layla as you always did, he shrugged, and you wondered if he felt the same resentment towards her that you felt towards Marc.

"The idea of vegan hot wings is stupid," you laughed as you bit into the vegetable in your hand, the one that was trying to deceive you and pass for something else.

"The sauce tastes good!" Steven laughed with you, playfully pushing you with his shoulder. To hell with sitting face to face in restaurants; if your bodies weren't close enough, neither of you were comfortable.

"It's a fraud."

"It's delicious." Seeing you take another bite was enough to feel that he was right without you explicitly saying it.

"Do you want to come to my apartment later?" You sucked your thumb to clean the sauce from it. "Yesterday, I accidentally stumbled upon a garage sale and bought the dumbest movie I've ever seen, I got it for us. It's called Rubber, and it's about a homicidal car tire."

Under any other circumstances, Steven would have laughed with you, but he gave you that look that you already knew too well.

"I'm sorry, love." Suddenly, the fake wings didn't look so appetizing. "Marc is feeling better."

Ah. That.

That was the signal that he would be spending the night with Layla.

"That's fine." You nodded immediately, and you also felt disgusted with the food in your hand.

How much longer could you go on like this?

After a few seconds of silence, you cleared your throat. You had some time to come up with a change of conversation.

"What happened to your hand?" Your index finger touched Steven's injured knuckles.

"Marc didn't keep the suit on long enough; the larger wounds healed, but the rest didn't." He never lied, although this might be the exception. A minor injury to prevent a bigger one; he wouldn't ruin his life over a trivial matter.

You nodded slowly, planted a kiss on his shoulder, and continued with your attempt at a date, which was going perfectly until you remembered where you were standing.

The truth was that the night before, Steven had had a fight with Marc, one of those that hadn't happened since they threatened not to switch bodies back to each other.

"Are you two together, Steven?" He was about to explode, about to go crazy. This was the last thing he needed right now, adding more lies and involving more people. "I already told you, no!" Ever since you considered the possibility that Marc might find out, you had decided that if it was a panic situation, you would opt for the most efficient plan: Deny, deny, deny, deny. "Don't lie to me, not to me!" He never yelled; he was the calculating, quiet, and careful type, but even he had a breaking point, and if Steven was going to shout, then he would too. "Do you think I'm stupid, Steven?" It's funny because he hadn't had any doubts until a few weeks ago, so maybe he was a bit stupid, but he wouldn't say it out loud. "No, no, but…" "But?" "We're not together, Marc; she's my best friend." The second part was at least not a lie. He exhaled heavily and mentally thanked for being in front because dealing with anger, panic, and fear without having control over your body was a nightmare he had experienced before. Why did he ever buy so many mirrors? Marc's accusing gaze followed him around the apartment. "And you like her," Steven completed, another thing that wasn't a lie. "If I lose Layla because of you two, I swear I'll…" Adrenaline rushed through him; he lost control of his hand, which ended up against one of the mirrors, breaking it into a thousand pieces. "Marc!" The other didn't say anything, he watched from the reflection of some glass pieces as Steven's hand now bled, and tears filled his eyes. His body was used to large doses of pain, but emotionally, he wasn't used to seeing himself bleed or handling loud noises well. "We. Are. Not. Together." It was the last thing he said as he stretched his fingers and watched the blood flow between them. Marc was no longer in the reflection. He didn't want to object.

"Will I see you the day after tomorrow?" You could still see him tomorrow, but the idea of him coming to your place smelling of Layla's citrusy perfume always disgusted you. It was as if an extra day would be enough to erase any traces of her from his body.

"The day after tomorrow, without fail." Steven knew; he didn't question you. He placed a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you, Steven."

"I love you, sweetheart."

Receiving calls or visits at midnight was always terrifying, especially when you knew your partner was constantly at risk, and this time was no exception.

The strong knocks on the door woke you up, and knowing it could be no one else but him, you opened the door without hesitation. Clad only in Steven's shirt that barely covered your thighs, with messy hair and half-closed eyes because the hallway light bothered you in the darkness.

Marc's tearful eyes met yours, along with the strong aroma of whiskey that Steven had told you about before, the one that stung his nose.

"Are you okay?" It was the first thing you said as he analyzed you from head to toe. He hated you, hated that you looked so good in the middle of the night, and hated that he felt a sense of ownership just from seeing you in a shirt that was originally his.

He didn't answer, he walked straight into your apartment, and you could only step aside to let him pass.

The way he walked past the sofas to sit on the floor was frightening; you had spent time with Marc during bad moments, but you had never seen him like this. You didn't say anything, didn't press, you just walked behind him and sat down beside him on the cold floor.

Your mere presence was enough for his eyes to fill with tears again.

"I didn't know where to go," he whispered, breaking your heart into a thousand pieces with just a few words.

"Oh, Marc." You knelt beside him to have better access to his body, and within seconds, you had your arms wrapped around him, holding him close. "I'm here, calm down."

You didn't get more words from him for a while, just sobs and those annoying chest contractions you get when you try to breathe through crying. You could even feel the fabric of your shirt damp at the shoulder level from his tears.

"I'm scared." His voice was broken, trembling.

"I'm here." You repeated as you held him tighter.

He didn't have the strength to tell you. He was afraid of you. Afraid of the dreams where he saw himself with you, afraid of the way his heart raced the few times you crossed paths, afraid of losing Layla because of his feelings, and afraid of change.

He was terrified of the mere idea of his life changing completely again.

You played with his curls and stayed on your knees until they hurt, with him in your arms whimpering like a little kid.

"Let's go to bed, Marc." He didn't resist, and you led him by the hand.

Nor did he object when you helped him get rid of his clothes just so he could sleep a little better. He almost felt guilty about how comfortable he seemed to be in your bed.

You hugged him from behind, your two hands resting on his chest where you could feel the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his breath. Your cheek enjoyed the warmth of his back.

When you woke up, there were no traces of Marc anymore.

"Meanwhile, Osiris' wife, Isis, searched tirelessly for his body and then…" The way you were looking at the ground while walking had caught Steven's attention for quite a while, but he didn't confirm his suspicions until he noticed you weren't participating in his narration as you always used to do. "Lovey?"

"Huh?"

"You seem distracted today."

"I'm sorry, I, it's just…" You cleared your throat while forcing a small smile on your face.

"Do you like it here?" He interrupted to finally point out an area in the park that seemed perfect for your plan. You immediately nodded with that fake smile, and both of you sat down carefully on the grass. You placed the book you had been carrying in one hand aside.

Steven handed you your ice cream and kept his own in the other hand.

"Can we talk?"

"Nothing good ever comes out of that, I've seen it in movies." Steven tried to joke, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made him sick to his stomach. Slowly, he rested his head on your lap.

Your hand, as if drawn by a magnet, went straight to his tousled curls. He closed his eyes and smiled; you had always compared that gesture to a puppy seeking more affection.

"We can't keep doing this to Marc, love." Your voice broke as you gave him those caresses he loved so much. "Nor to Layla, it's not fair to them."

Steven was looking at you again, with a terrified expression and a slight pout on his lips.

"And is it fair to us?" he snapped. Needless to say, both of you had long stopped paying attention to your sad ice creams; they were already melting into the grass.

"If Layla finds out, we'll ruin Marc's life." You tried to be the rational one between both of you, but with Steven's puppy eyes fixed on you, it was almost impossible to think clearly.

"And if we end… this, mine will be destroyed." Well, he had a point. "Please." His two hands went to your cheeks and pressed them gently, his forehead now resting against yours. "We can't. You can't." His lips claimed yours within seconds, and you could only respond as if life were slipping away.

Whom were you fooling? You were selfish enough to give in. After all, every night you created scenarios where Layla found out and left Marc, knowing that it would destroy him, but in your scenarios, you were there to comfort him, to prevent him from falling apart.

"I love you, Steven." You didn't get a response, but you didn't need to hear it; feeling the strength with which he held you was more than enough.

You were all he had, and he was all you had.

Life was better when you both pretended to have a life that wasn't yours. When you fantasized and made plans for a future you would both do anything to have.

"What do you think of that one?" You both looked like kids with your foreheads pressed against the glass that separated you from the kittens.

"They say the orange ones are crazy, lovey." The fact that Steven was just as interested as you in this fed your good mood entirely. "How about that one?"

"I like his or her fur." You pressed your index finger against the glass to try to get the attention of the kitty that was completely distracted playing with another.

"Love, love, love." He nudged you with his shoulder, making you laugh, so you looked at the opposite side, another part of the store.

You gasped.

"THAT ONE?" You had to cover your mouth when the tone of your voice caught the attention of other people in the place.

There was only one cat in the area reserved for senior cats. You knew it was harder for them to get adopted compared to the kittens, it was as if he was destined to be there.

"It's just a baby." You pouted slightly as you pulled Steven's hand, both walking straight towards the spot where the little cat was staring at you.

He was white, although half of his body was covered in black spots, reminiscent of a cow's fur. When you got closer, you noticed that the tip of one of his ears was missing.

Love at first sight.

"Hiya, mate." The guy next to you was as enchanted as you with the animal. "Uhm, what do you say?" He tilted his head towards the glass. The meow completed his performance. "Look how curious, he says he's looking for new parents."

You laughed, genuine happiness coursing through you. You didn't give Steven time to react before jumping into his arms; he lifted you a few inches off the ground in the middle of the hug.

You didn't care about drawing attention. In fact, having witnesses to your love made it feel more real, reminding you that it wasn't just a product of your imagination.

After he kissed your lips, you could feel the ground under your feet again. You couldn't stop smiling.

"Come on, let's fill out the form." Steven's heart was about to burst with love at any moment.

The instructions were clear: fill out the corresponding paperwork, a few days of socialization with the cat to make sure he felt comfortable with you, and by the following week, he would be yours.

"We'll come to see you, okay? And then we'll go home."

"See ya, buddy." Steven said his goodbye too. "Next week, you'll have the best home, the comfiest bed, and the best parents, I promise."

"What's wrong, Marc?" There was something scary about the idea of being alone with him without him being intoxicated or injured. You were taking off your scarf to leave it on a sofa while he watched you from his table, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest.

It was impossible to read his expression because Marc always seemed tense.

"She knows."

Your heart sank in seconds, and you looked at him in surprise.

"Ah?"

"She knows," he repeated. You swallowed hard, and for a moment, you thought this was one of those silly dreams that sometimes distorted your reality.

"Knows what?"

"Please, don't treat me like I'm stupid." His tone of voice was enough to make you tremble. You immediately looked at the bathroom mirror.

Steven had told you that while one had control of the body, the other could be reflected in different surfaces, but of course, that only worked between them. No matter how much you looked, hoping that Steven would appear to save you, it didn't happen.

You didn't even know if he was aware of what Marc was doing.

"I don't…" Your voice died down slowly, and you refused to get closer to him. "What does she know?"

"About you." He took a step closer, and you felt immobilized. "She thinks you're my lover, like any sane person, she knows nothing about Steven."

You swallowed the lump in your throat as tears filled your eyes.

"You have to tell her, Marc, explain to her she…" He interrupted you in seconds; the way he raised his voice made you flinch.

"'She will understand?' Is that what you want to say?" He was getting closer, and you felt like he was taking your breath away. Why were you suddenly so afraid? "Yes, I'll tell her every damn thing that's wrong with me so that you can be happy."

Ouch.

"I-I'm saying it for you, Marc." Tears were already streaming down your face, and you mentally cursed yourself for the mere idea of showing so much weakness. "She has to know, it's best for you." And it was, of course, but you were resorting to your last resort to not lose Steven too.

And maybe, not lose Marc either.

"You don't know what's best for me, you have no idea." His sarcasm cut deep as he took the last step to confront you.

"Please, please, don't do this." You pleaded through sobs; your hands ended up on his cheeks. "Please." You pulled him closer to you.

He seemed to relax under your touch, at least for a few seconds. Your heart stopped when one of his hands rested on your waist.

"Don't make this harder, you're killing me." He was also begging, even as his forehead pressed against yours.

"We can get through this, Marc." You sniffed. "I promise, we can…"

A kiss. A desperate and painful kiss silenced your words; it was the only one Marc and you would share.

"Go," he whispered against your lips, still planting small kisses on them. "Please, I beg you, go."

And that was the final nail to seal the coffin between you both.

His hand made you take a step back, a very gentle push.

"I'm choosing her." He knew you better than he'd like, knowing that you wouldn't stop insisting unless he caused you permanent harm. Besides, how could he convince himself he wasn't in love with you if he didn't do this?

You looked at him incredulously, not believing his act, but there was nothing else you could do.

This time, you begged that Steven was present to hear everything that had transpired between you both because you wouldn't have the strength to end it after this. In fact, you didn't even know if you'd have the strength to live without him.

You didn't say anything more, you didn't look back at him, and he didn't change his mind. You left his apartment, leaving your scarf on his sofa as a final reminder of your presence in his life.

sorry, i got tired of happy endings

Part 2. Sleepwalking.

[midniiights-garden]

I love your hcs for modern au! mizu, could you possibly write some headcanons relating to her getting into a relationship?

(A/N: YIPPIEEEEE AN ASK!! Omg I think this would be interesting and there's a bunch of other HCs on this but imma put my own spin on it ^^)

Possible TWs!!: Mentions of sex, internalized homophobia, sexisim, racisim, grooming (??)

~~~

Ok so first of all yeah, I wanna flesh out her past relationship with Mikio in this AU. I think it would be important in shaping Mizu's view of her future S/O.

So, as I said in my last post she probably met Mikio when she was in University, he would probably be a teacher or something. Lowkey, considering the age gap, in this AU he would have probably either been some kind of forced relationship like in the canon or he groomed her in some way.

Either way, it made moder!Mizu really wary of kindness, now viewing everyone who is nice to her as a threat.

I'm also basing her trauma responses based on my own so I hope this isn't too OOC, I'm just tryna work off of what I know lol

So when you came into her life (probably introduced by Ringo because he's a cutie patootie ray of sunshine), she was more than skeptical.

It'd be rocky. You'd try to talk and she would only give short, curt answers. Much like canon Mizu.

It'd probably take a consistent half a year of talking to her for her to finally crack. Either that or you'd do something really nice for her like caring for her whilst she was sick or prepared something for her birthday or something of the likes. Either way, you'd have to really make an effort to befriend and win her over, it's more of a her problem then a you problem.

But once her initial coldness has melted away you find a pretty sincere, caring woman. She's only strict with you if she cares. If she doesn't I believe she's the kind of person who would probably just go "eh, whatever" if you did something stupid. But if she cares she'll be like "DO NOT DO THAT".

She'll realise she's in love probably while she's sick lol

Like, she'll see you helping her at her worst, holding her hair back whilst she throws up or something and be like "...oh my god".

Mizu wouldn't confess too soon after realising, she'd take her time to really think about it. Was she ready for a potential heartbreak? Was this worth it? You might find that she'll pull away a little as she thinks. It isn't intentional, but it will probably happen.

You'd probably have to confess first.

She'd secretly be elated but she wouldn't show it too much at first. Actually, she'd be hesitant to show positive emotions at all in the beginning. But as your relationship progresses she realises you aren't like Mikio. You aren't there because of some made up image of her. You're there because you love her. Not an idea of her, but herself, flaws and all.

She's gonna marry you lol.

(A/N: THAAAAT'S IT!!! Also im so sorry for taking so long with this. my gf left me and its my bday today so ive been like moping and playing sdv lmfaoooo. HAPPY NEW YEARS POOKIES <3)

[ljh-writing-blog]

Batmom #2 - Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson was and is a force of nature. Brought to Bruce, and by extension yourself, as a child of only eight years old through suffering and death you felt yourself a kindred spirit. You were at Haley’s Circus that night, Bruce thought it would be a wonderful date. The night ended in tragedy, a stunt “gone wrong”. You only hoped the energies of the oldest Flying Graysons were at rest.

The worst part of the night was feeling everyone’s fear in the tent. Dick’s fear stood out to you, it was the strongest and you felt the immediate need to rid it from his small self. You didn’t hesitate to jump out of the stands and find him in the chaos. You made Bruce pull some strings so you could take him home, you didn’t care how but the boy was coming with you. You couldn’t, you wouldn’t, leave him alone to some foster facility for however long it would take to find him placement. You would convince Bruce to take him in, if he didn’t you’d find your own apartment and care for him yourself. Diana always wanted more girl time and you knew she loved kids. All these contingencies ran through your head as you held him close, picking him up and taking him out of the tent. Taking him away from the horror and blood that stained the tent that night.

Bruce wasn’t the best father, truthfully he wasn’t much of a father in the early years. Alfred had been a big help and you stepped up to fill the mother figure role in his life. You stopped fighting crime on the daily, only joining the battle field when absolutely necessary. You had a few shifts at the Watchtower weekly but made sure they were while Dick was at school. You refused to let him sit in his grief alone, it wasn’t healthy. At times you overwhelmed him, he was so full of desolation and rage your love made him sick. He reminded you constantly you weren’t his mother, “My mother is dead! You’re just an expensive wanna-be replacement!” His words damaged your heart at times but you never let it show, not to him at least. Alfred spent many nights baking and drinking tea with you while you both discussed the day’s events. Sometimes it was just a few tears you both pretended not to notice, others it was much more difficult. The first year had been the hardest for all of you.

You weren’t sure if Dick finding the Batcave’s Grandfather Clock entrance was the worst thing that ever happened to your family or the best: it brought your boys closer, you and Bruce started talking again, it allowed Dick to move past his anger and grief, it also allowed him to embrace his trapeze skills and think of them positively instead of the negative left behind. Your son becoming Robin was probably the best thing for his mental health at the time. But it also brought bruises, cuts, concussions, forged doctors notes, and small bouts of what Bruce called a “Napoleon Complex”. It brought pain and death right back to your doorstep in ways you never thought possible.

When Dick found out you were a superhero, with what he liked to refer to as magic, he went crazy. He demanded a talent show and to see you in your suit. You indulged if only to see his smiles, he could light up a room with his grin. Using your mutation to lift him in the air sure wasn’t what he was expecting but it was definitely cool. Once you donned your suit Dick recognized you, his next request filled you with dread. “Y/N your powers are so cool! Can you show me my deepest fear? It’d be really cool to know…” He began rambling as you felt a pit form in your stomach. You never want to use those parts of your powers on anyone you love, especially the boy you live for. Bruce, who had been watching your little fashion show, recognized you tensing up and took over the conversation. “That’s enough for today, Chum. Your mother has had a long day and she’s very tired.” It was the first time Dick hadn’t objected to you being referred to as his mother. That day started a new chapter for your family.

Dick Grayson is a force of nature but you couldn’t imagine your eldest son any other way.

[lynsstrange]

The one thing I wasn’t a fan of about Annabeth being there for Luke’s betrayal is the potentially lost conflict for seasons later on.

The most interesting part about Percy being alone for the betrayal in the book is Annabeth’s internal struggle with the way she sees Luke.

Even in the later books, when they’re well past Luke’s betrayal and into the war, she still acts desperate and excusing whenever Luke is involved.

Desperate to see an ounce of the boy she knew before. Some hidden bit of kindness and compassion he still has left that she felt when she was seven and needed someone to show her love. Some vulnerability he’s willing to show her that he didn’t show to Percy when they were alone in the woods.

Because if she had been there, he wouldn’t have been able to look her in the eyes and backstab her, right? Because they’re family.

And again, and again, and again he proves her wrong. In the worst way possible. She has to force herself to believe it, to fight him over and over again. But I think there was always a, tiny, irrational part of her that thought maybe he wasn’t too far gone. That his care for her could override the bitterness that had consumed him. Until the last Olympian.

I’ve talked about this passage before, but it’s so interesting to me.

It’s only when they’re on the literal elevator trip up to end the war that she finally, really accepts it. Luke isn’t ever coming back from this. He won’t even be coming back from it alive.

But when she’s on the ground, battered and vulnerable, with Luke standing over her, she still can’t help but say one last time “you promised.”

Because deep down he’s still that boy to her, and will always be.

I just feel like some of that depth is lost with her eavesdropping on Luke’s entire villain monologue to Percy. There’s less room for the interesting conflict between her and Percy that we see later on. And the way it becomes obvious how truly torn she is. How much it rips her apart to have to truly come to terms with it at the end of the series.

This was just my opinion on it. If we’re getting future seasons, I’m sure it’s gonna do a good job with the fallout of Luke’s betrayal, just maybe not in this way. But I still feel like that that was a really interesting layer to the scene that was taken away.

Edit: I think I worded the second half of my post poorly. in no way am I saying there can’t be internal conflict !!! Annabeth obviously watches Luke do terrible things later in the series, and her desire to see him in a good light comes from seeing him as an older brother, above all else. Not just from not witnessing Luke backstabbing Percy. I just think that her not watching it happen is an interesting extension of that. Like, does she think she might have been able to talk him down if she were in the forest with them, deep down? Her fatal flaw is hubris, after all, and maybe she could have fooled herself into thinking that her being there could have made him think twice. Because she’s his little sister, and would he have hurt her? It’s probably harder for her to accept the complete 180 between the last time she saw him and the next time she sees him in SOM when she wasn’t present to see exactly how angry and bitter he’d become.

By TLO, I know it’s about much more than that, it was my mistake using a photo from it, it was just what I had on hand. I’m saying it’s an interesting idea that could have been explored, especially in the second season.

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

It’s one in the morning let’s talk Six of Crows analysis - it feels like it’s been ages since I did any analysis, which is like the entire point of this account so sorry about that but here we go: We should talk more about Adem Bajan you guys okay because first of all he effectively comes to represent the vast majority of everyday people in a clear juxtaposition to both Inej and Van Eck, but he also is in a position of far less choice than I think we give him credit for.

As a reminder, Bajan is a young Suli boy (presumably somewhere around 19 but we have no confirmation of that) working in the Van Eck household teaching Alys music. He is highly implied to be having or to have interest in having as affair with Alys, and was Van Eck’s chosen jailer for Inej at the beginning of Crooked Kingdom. Van Eck claims he made this choice because he thought “a Suli boy would be most conspicuous” when he was attempting to lure Kaz into a trap to save Inej, but it was also an inarguably smart decision in that, as Inej even comments herself, Bajan was easy to talk to, made her feel nostalgic, homesick, and alone, and very nearly succeeded in drawing information out of her without having to restore to torture. If anything, resorting to torture was Van Eck’s major mistake at this point but that’s really a conversation for another time. Bajan is a really interesting character because he doesn’t want to hurt Inej and specifically encourages her to tell him things so Van Eck won’t escalate things further, but when Van Eck does escalate things Bajan is unable - or possibly unwilling - to stop him. For this Inej calls him a monster, and when he claims he did nothing replies “no, you’re the man who stands idly by congratulating himself whilst the monster eats its fill”. She draws a Suli phrase on him that effectively means he’ll be rejected by the community forever and his spirit/soul won’t be accepted, and she describes it as the worst fate or something along those lines sorry I can’t remember exactly. But what’s the most interesting thing is that even though he claims not to believe in any of it Bajan gets noticeably upset by this and says “that’s not fair”. Inej is surprised that he’s this soft, and there’s a very clear juxtaposition between the lives they have lived.

BUT - let’s look at this from Bajan’s perspective. And remember - this is important - Bajan is not described as an employee of Van Eck’s, but an indenture. An indenture. So Bajan is a young boy indentured in a foreign country to a man as high up in the country’s government as you can get and who has clearly been illustrated to the reader as a terrible person on several different levels that I won’t dissect in too much detail right now. He appears to have acclimatised himself to Kerch surroundings and acts with elevation above his status, because that’s what he has to do to survive in the upper echelon of a deeply classist society that actively diminishes and disapproves of his culture. (<<if anyone wants references for that let me know and also I’ve written about it quite a bit before so that’s kicking around on my page somewhere) He refuses to speak to Inej in Suli because “it makes me maudlin” and my question to you is: is he rejecting the language to further attempt to fit in and as a product of internalised prejudice, or because it’s so incredibly painful to be half-connected to a culture not only that he has forced himself to reject but also that he feels he can never safely return to? Probably both. He tells Inej he doesn’t believe in Suli superstition, religion, or culture, and yet is deeply upset when she uses it against him. Is this because he actually does believe, or wants to believe, in the Saints and the Suli interpretation of them but has rejected them for survival and the supposed betterment of himself? Possibly.

Bajan strikes me as very similar to Jesper in the way he presents himself as free, flirty, and casual, but had a considerable weight to almost everything he says and considerable pain hidden closer to the surface than he may have realised. I think there are parallels between him and Inej if we want to see them, but also a very stark difference in the way Kerch and Ketterdam have treated them. Bajan may not be privileged but even as an indenture he has - or at least as far as we know has had - a far safer and kinder experience than Inej has. This could be related to gender since the hyper-sexualisation of Suli culture is mostly centred on women - “the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl” (I’ve intensely analysis this quote before so I won’t now but ugh there’s so much to say) - but we do know there are young boys captive at the pleasure houses as well although less commonly and it’s also possible that this difference is linked to Bajan’s decision to turn his back on Suli culture in order to appeal more to Kerch society whilst Inej continually embraced her culture and arguably became more religious in response to her experiences.

This is complicated because I’m not entirely sure how I feel about Bajan. I understand and support Inej’s perspective and everything she saw whilst in a far more dangerous position that he was, but is it possible that this was a lonely boy who saw someone he thought was like him and tried to communicate with her the only way he thought was safe? You are completely isolated in a foreign culture and hate yourself for having suppressed your own upbringing in order to survive, but now you meet someone else who yes, is in more danger than you, but who you might be able to help so that she can help you in return. You aren’t safe to speak freely and so you subtly tell her that you are an indenture, hoping she acknowledges that none of this is of your free will and because you know that she was indentured too (and remember from a societal pov there is very little understanding of what indentured girls at the pleasure houses actually go through and although that doesn’t excuse ignoring Inej’s trauma it may explain why he doesn’t fully acknowledge that their positions aren’t equal), you tell her that speaking your own shared language makes you feel maudlin, hoping she realises that you desperately miss your homeland and using your language makes you feel even further from your family than you already are because you can’t share it with them. She doesn’t seem to be taking any of it in, your employer has every intention of hurting her and you don’t know what else to do, so you make a last plea: you ask her about home. You think you’ve already made it clear that speaking about home is painful, so you ask her about it to invite that pain, to share it, so you both understand. But it fails, because she only sees your employer puppeteering you. You openly beg her to tell him the truth so that he won’t hurt her but she refuses to comply, and after all of your efforts and your desperate attempts to connect and beg her to help you both go home, her response is to turn your home against you and banish you from it for eternity. So when you see her the next morning, how could you possibly look her in the eye?

Bajan did not make all of the right choices in his brief time on the page. He didn’t. But maybe he was trying really hard, and he had no other options left.

Anyway I’m not saying this is definitive one way or the other it’s just an interpretation but I find him a very interesting and very sad character and I although I support all of Inej’s actions in these scenes from her point of view I do find myself wondering how she appeared to Bajan and how he felt in the aftermath.

[bunnyinfoxclothing]

Do you have anymore chaggie rants? Would love to hear em

You're in luck. It's 2 am again and I have awoken to more head cannons and ideas.

If I do more of these most will probably be about Vaggie, because I love my girl.

that being said:

Vaggie is a self fulfilling prophecy that Charlie simply won't let happen.

So for anyone who doesn't know. Self fulfilling prophecies, in psychology, refer to someone who has an expectation or belief that can influence their behaviors, thus causing the belief to come true.

Vaggie is someone with abandonment issues (Chaggie mental illness twins)

Charlie is someone who wants to never be alone, so holds tight onto whomever she can, and is extra forgiving in wanting them to stay. (I will expand on this if anyone wants)

Vaggie on the other hand, expects abandonment to be excruciatingly painful. It's not a logical thought nor is it even a conscious one. She just has a feeling that the moment she messes something up she will be left hurting.

That also means that anytime there is even the slightest fuck up, Vaggie will run away. She preemptively leaves to avoid that hurt.

But Bun that's not a self fulfilling prophecy

Gimme a sec i'm getting there.

Now Vaggie also doesn't have it in her to fully abandon Charlie. She has heard Charlie's fears of being alone, and can never do that to her.

That being said, this is where she starts treating Charlie like Charlie is going to abandon her.

Isolation

Reduced Physical Contact

One-sided Emotional Disconnect

Manipulation

Vaggie does anything to distance herself emotionally from the situation while still being there for Charlie.

If this is prior to being in a relationship it is spending more time in her own room. If it is post relationship it is just more time spent doing different things. Where they used to do chores together Vaggie will outright just start on something without telling Charlie, or work on something else entirely.

Vaggie isn't as touchy with Charlie, maybe not cuddling up to Charlie, but letting Charlie cuddle up to her. Only participating in physical closeness if Charlie initiates.

Being there for Charlie emotionally, but dealing with all of her emotional turmoil on her own.

Purposefully painting herself in the worst light possible at any given situation in an attempt to 'be honest' to Charlie about who she is. Hiding the good things because Charlie knows the good things, but pointing out every bad miss step she herself has taken since.

All of this is in an attempt to emotionally disconnect herself to what is coming and push Charlie towards the abandoning her, so she has control over when it happens.

And Charlie just doesn't let her.

Charlie isn't always 100% aware of when Vaggie goes into this self destructive behavior.

So sometimes it's just a moment of: Charlie feeling overly affectionate that it forces Vaggie to be unable to do one or a few of her isolation tactics.

And Charlie is just so proud of her for being honest, and their in hell so what more could she expect...

And so Vaggie just fails at distancing herself, so eventually when the guilt goes away Vaggie is just left still in Charlies arms like... huh?

And other times, Charlie is fully aware of the self destructing train wreak that is coming.

So she talks Vaggie through it. She provides ample times for Vaggie to comfort her. Gives Vaggie every once of praise every time Vaggie does something for her, just so in Vaggie's tally, the positive things she has done far outweigh any bad Vaggie can come up with.

Charlie turns up the charm, to wear down Vaggie's walls and force her to ask for cuddles. Then cuddles Vaggie until she's squirming out of Charlie's arms.

Charlie casually gentle parenting Vaggie's manipulation tactics like:

Well, yeah sure you could say that you placing your spear by the door was a tripping hazard, but if you think about it, it was very kind of you to leave your spear by the door so we can have a more comfortable cuddle time. And while it wasn't nice for me to trip on it, and it could have been very dangerous for any of our guests to trip on it, we have seen in the past that a lot of dangerous people come to the hotel, so thank you for looking out for us. How about next time we find a safer place to put your spear, so that it is still near the door, but out of the way. Does that sound good? Perfect.

And Vaggie is forced to be like. Oh, yeah, my actions are easily fixable. Why was I so stressed before?

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

The Solve It Squad as Servants of the Lords in Black

AKA an AU I think about a lot but will probably never write.

Gwen: Blinky. This one's obvious and easy. Gwen's career is all about fame and perception, and she loves to be noticed--her underlying character motivation often boils down to "get as many eyes on me as possible." And she's constantly positioning the others in front of cameras, doing her best to lay them bare to the world, even when they're at their very worst.

Esther: Nibbly. I briefly considered putting Scrags here, but ultimately decided that his relationship with food is far too complex. Esther, on the other hand, doesn't really have that problem. Despite their anarcho leanings and consistent disdain for capitalism, deep-down Esther is all about consumption, and often the pointedly mindless kind. The non-stop intake of substances, the way their brain devours information when they're sober... hell, they even work as a sample person at Costco of all places (no offense to Costco).

Keith: Tinky. Another bastard-and-bastard duo. While T'noy Karaxis is all about the false promise of nostalgia and the dangerous allure of living in the past, connecting him to all of the Squad but Esther, Keith takes it to a whole new level. This man is in his 30s, and he lives in the car he drove in high school, maintains an imaginary relationship with his girlfriend from freshman year, designs and sells merchandise of his high school glory days, and at one point even puts on the clothes he wore when he was probably fifteen. But really seals the deal is his Tinky-esque willingness to trap others in the past with him, going so far as to manipulate and deceive in order to return to a time where he felt he mattered. And what's more Tinky than that?

Scrags: Wiggly. Representing Capitalism, Wiggly is all about the holes that the ravages of time leave in people's souls, and the mad, exploitative rush to find something that fills them. And who feels the wounds of the past more deeply and painfully than Scrags? Unlike Esther, Scrags is forced by diabetes to find something other than straight-up non-stop consumption to deal with his losses, and unlike Keith he operates under the delusion that he's not still living in the past. But he's nonetheless constantly searching for an out. So instead he loses himself in his job, working as basically a cop of all things, and what's more capitalist than that?

BONUS--

Cluebert: Pokey. "Cluebert, you’re the tie that binds us all as ONE." He was their unifier, the thing that kept them working as one unit. Also, let's be real, a talking dog is some Pokey-ass shit.

[pascaloverx]

Moonlight

Summary: You and Edward Cullen used to have a romantic relationship. But fate seemed not to believe in the possibility of a vampire and a potential she-wolf being together. Years after your separation, you return to Forks. Edward is committed to Bella Swan, and Jacob Black has his own pack. What happens when, upon your return, you begin to transform into a she-wolf and both Edward and Jacob seem eager to revisit the past with you?

Author's Note: The characters in this fanfic do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight universe. The story blends events that happened in the Twilight saga movies with invented ones. If you're enjoying the fanfic, please interact. Comments and kudos are welcome. This story will contain inappropriate language, a possible love triangle, scenes of violence, and romance.

FOUR SIX

FIVE

It had been nearly a week since Edward told you he was going to tell his beloved about you two. You were being consumed by guilt and, at the same time, a desire for him to be honest. But there was nothing you could do. As you try to push away intrusive thoughts, you snuggle even closer in Jacob's arms, who sleeps peacefully. Sleeping with him is so familiar to you that it's become a habit. Not that you two are having sex. You wouldn't mind, but it seems like Jacob is afraid to fully commit. Which you understand. And for now, the kisses, hugs, and nights spent sleeping wrapped in each other have been more than enough. As you run your fingers through Jacob's hair, his phone starts to ring. Amazingly, he doesn't wake up, so you think it might be a good idea to answer it for him. You pick up the phone and gently slip out of bed, leaving the room to speak with whoever is calling.

"Hello?" you whisper, trying not to wake Mr. Black or Jacob. You hear an unfamiliar female voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi, could I speak with Jacob? Can you let him know it's Bella?" the woman on the phone says. She sounds a bit nervous, but you're certain Jacob would be furious if you didn't wake him up to take Bella's call.

"Sure, I'll go get him and put him on the phone," you reply as gently as possible. You head back to the room where you and Jacob are sleeping and nudge him until he wakes up. It's almost a mission impossible because he seems to hibernate when he sleeps. But after a few tries, he finally wakes up.

"It's Bella," you say, handing him the phone. He seems surprised to get a call from her, probably because of the hour. But he answers her immediately. You can't hear what they're talking about because Jacob steps outside the house. You can only imagine that it's not good news.

"What did you do?" Jacob says first thing, sounding irritated as he accuses you. You stand up from the edge of the bed, confused.

"What do you mean, what did I do, Jacob?" You're on the defensive. There's no way you and Black didn't wake his father. But right now, you don't like the tone Jacob is using to talk to you.

"Edward told Bella about your dirty little secret. She broke up with him and now she's devastated. Damn it, you coming back here was the worst thing that could happen," Jacob says, looking at you like you're a monster. It breaks your heart. Jacob has always been your biggest supporter. Whether it was when you were younger and your father tried to push you towards Sam to force an imprint, or when you decided to leave Forks after your parents' death. Seeing him look at you with such contempt is tearing you apart inside.

"Are you sure you want to say that?" You ask, wanting to be sure before making a decision; after all, you owe that to Jacob. Your eyes fill with tears as you wait for a response. But all Jacob does is stand there silently. He watches you cry and says nothing. You take a few moments to compose yourself, then start packing your things. Hastily and without care, you pack your suitcase. You're not going to wait another minute for Jacob to apologize.

"Y/N, where are you going?" Mr. Black asks, wheeling his chair over to both of us. Jacob stands at the door of the room while you finish packing your suitcase.

"Away from your son, sir. You've been very kind to let me stay here, but I can't stay with him any longer. I hope you understand." You gently hold Billy Black's hand, saying goodbye to him. As soon as you pass by Billy, you head for the door of the house. Your car is parked in front, and you put your suitcase in the trunk as you feel the rain starting to form. As you get into the car, Jacob appears in front of it. You start to feel an overwhelming anger towards him. The pause between turning on the car and facing him seems eternal. It's as if he doesn't want you to leave but can't bring himself to say it.

"Don't go." That's all he says. You grip the steering wheel so tightly you feel like you might tear it off. How can he hurt you and still expect you to stay?

"If you don't get out of the way of the car, I'm going to run over you" you threaten him, as you feel resentment wash over you. Interestingly, he doesn't leave the front of the car. You look Jacob in the eyes, wanting so much for him to make it easier for you.

"Please, do not go." He pleads, as if he can't bear to see you go. But before you can do anything, his cell phone rings again. He doesn't even need to answer for you to know who is calling him.

"You should answer. It must be the woman you want to be by your side. Don't let me disturb this in your life anymore." You say, still hurt. Jacob seems indecisive, not knowing whether to answer his cell phone and let you out of his life or continue to convince you to stay. And then he answers his cell phone, while you go away.

Driving while trying to stop crying is a challenging task. Now it gets even harder when it's raining. You're trying to think of where to go, but you can't decide. Sam will kill Jacob when he finds out what happened to you two. And when he finds out about Edward, he's very likely to kill you and Edward. Maybe you should go home anyway. Jacob must be right. You ruined everything. And while you're hitting the road, Edward appears out of nowhere. You almost run him over.

"Have you lost your mind, Edward Cullen?" You scream as you get out of your car and go to Edward in the rain.

"I told her. I told her I still had feelings for you. I made it clear that I loved her deeply. But that part of me still belonged to you." Edward speaks loudly as the two of you are soaked by the rain. You look at him without reaction, because you didn't imagine he would be so frank.

"Obviously, she broke up with you. Anyone who admits that they belong to an ex, in good conscience, does not deserve to be by their lover's side. Go to her, tell her you made a mistake. Tell her that your past has upset you but that you love her. Don't make her give up on you because of me. I do not deserve this." You say as you feel a storm take over your heart. You don't believe what you're saying but you need to not be a mistake in anyone else's life.

"Why do you want to run away from me again?" Edward asks, knowing deep down that you really are trying to run away from all of this. The feeling you feel now is that you are sinking into quicksand.

"It's easier to run away than to stay here and face the fact that I don't know if I'll experience a love as great as ours." You finally admitted something that has been tormenting you since the first time you left.

"If our love was so great, stay here. Stay in Forks, stay with me. Rediscover what it's like to feel the feeling we both abandoned years ago." Edward's request seems bold. Rediscovering what you left behind is dangerous. It could be the start of a war between those who are his family and those who are your family. You sigh, thinking about what to do as you stand a few steps away from Edward.

"Don't regret this." You alert Edward, as you run into his arms. He holds you in a hug so tight that you feel like you're walking into a house. Not just any house, your house. You kiss him then, like someone who is thirsty. Since you arrived, you kissed him a few times but never with the feeling of coming back to him. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you up, making your legs wrap around his waist. With his vampiric speed, he quickly places you under the hood of the car as he continues to kiss you.

"Will you come home with me?" Edward speaks between the kiss, while you are too compelled by desire for him to understand that he is asking you to go to the Cullens' house with him.

"I'll go with you everywhere." You mumble close to his mouth as you continue to lose yourself in him. He squeezes your ass lightly and before you know it, you're in the car, taking each other's clothes off.

[cherriegyuu]

Hi! Can I request an angst fic with seunghceol which starts because he forgot a date?

Thank you so much!

i hope you like it! sorry it took me forever

when he forgets a date

pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader

genre: angst

word count: 912

warnings: none

The apartment felt oddly cold. The heater was on but you still didn’t get warm. Though the thermostat was close enough you just couldn't bring yourself to get up and adjust it. Everything inside of you just felt sort of empty inside and you couldn’t even understand why. 

You had expected it and yet you had gotten your hopes up. It wasn’t the first time Seungcheol missed one of your dates. Every time something like that happened he would show up a few hours later, flowers in hand — from god knows where — and a charming smile on his face. And at every single turn, you forgave him. 

His excuses were always all over the place and you never thought much of it. Seungcheol is just busy, you told yourself. As time went by he missed more dates and that initial thought started to crumble. Sure, Seungcheol was busy but he still had plenty of time for his friends, to go out golfing with them, drinking with them.

That was when your mind started to go to dark places and you really felt as if you were small and someone who he never really cared about. And then, you started to think that he was cheating. That feeling of not being enough was all over you. Maybe it was pathetic or just your ego but also couldn’t stop. 

So you decided to give him just one more chance, you could give him that much. If not for the dates, Seungcheol was a good boyfriend, caring and loving. That’s why you always felt bad whenever you thought that he was being anything but a good boyfriend. 

But do good boyfriends miss all of their most recent dates with their significant others, even though they talked on the phone earlier and seemed excited? 

You laid down on the couch pulling the cover that was at your feed up so that it would cover your body. Taking a deep breath, you tried to force your mind to rest. There was no point in thinking the worst, at least for now. You did what you could, what you thought was best. You had gotten the reservations, got ready, and left on time. Gave him all the directions he needed, and sent him a map to find the restaurant more easily. 

Instead of waiting for Seungcheol outside and risking losing the reservation, you waited inside. You called him, texted, called him again, called his office. It was as if your phone had stopped working. You even tried calling your friend to see if she would pick up. When she did, you just apologized and said that you called the wrong number and chatted with her for a minute. 

You decided that you would have dinner regardless, it was a good restaurant after all. The food would have probably tasted better if your mood wasn’t so horrible. The waiter looked at you with pity in his eyes so you asked for the check and left.

Seungcheol hadn’t answered any of your calls your texts, so you doubted that he would call or show up anytime soon. The only thing you could do was try to sleep and figure everything out tomorrow.

You had just managed to sleep when you were awakened by the sound of someone knocking on your door. The sun was already up and the living room was clear with sunlight. There was only one possible person to be knocking on your door. You got up, opened the door, and went back to the couch. 

“yn, I know you’re pissed” Seungcheol said, closing the door behind him and joining you on the couch “ and you have every right to be. But listen to me…”

You scoffed, resting your chin on your knee. 

“Let’s hear it then. What happened this time? Was it work? Did one of your friends have diarrhea and needed you to clean their butt for them? Were you with someone else?”

Seungcheol looked at you with wide eyes, desperate. He knew where this was going, what you were going to do and say but he was trying to hold on for dear life. 

“I know you’re angry, I know” 

He tried to hold your face but you pulled back, he tried to hold your hands but you also pulled away.

“I’m not angry or pissed. I’m tired, Seungcheol”

Shaking your head, you stood up. You thought about it, for hours, during the entire night and you had made your decision. 

“Since we started this, whatever it was” you waved your hands between him and you “I gave you all I had, all that I am. Although I can’t say that you didn’t do the same at first, it all changed after some time. And it’s fine if your feelings changed, it sucks but it happens. I really wish you could have told me when it did”

It was Seungcheol’s turn to shake his head. This time, when he reached for you, you didn’t pull back.

“It didn’t change, I promise. I still feel the same way I did back then. It’s just that I have been on my own my entire life, I don’t really know how to do this”

You laughed, not really believing in what you were hearing from him.

“Then I guess you’re not really the man I thought you were then” 

You pulled back from him and took three steps back. 

“Don’t push me away” he begged.

“You should go”

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