#and she doesn't want to make it worse
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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i know everyone likes to put tharja in the "yandere goth girl" category but tbh i feel like pigeonholing her into one specific archetype does a huge disservice to her character. is she obsessed with curses and robin? yes. is she constantly shoved into a fanservice role by intsys? absolutely.
but i think a lot of people forget just how impactful a lot of her supports are...there's something about tharja that makes nearly everyone who interacts with her divulge their deepest secrets and points of anxiety with her. we see this with libra, who tells her of the abandonment he endured at the hands of his parents. we see it with nowi, whose cheerful demeanor slips off as she tells tharja of her missing parents. and although tharja is not the only one lon'qu confides in regarding ke'ri, their support is notably the only one in which lon'qu divulges that there was romantic involvement between he and his childhood friend.
and despite her antisocial exterior, she always listens mindfully and offers to help! she even goes out of her way to discreetly help the shepherds (getting virion to do odd jobs that benefit civilians, interrogating henry to make sure he bears no ill will towards ylisse, etc).
a big thing about tharja is that she IS kind. she IS considerate. she just also has a reputation to uphold as a dark mage and that (paired with her overall awkwardness ofc) makes her true nature hard to see at first glance
#fire emblem#fire emblem awakening#fire emblem heroes#tharja#tharja fire emblem#also aside from the fanservice she gets shoehorned into a lot of people dislike her for the noire situation#which yes. absolutely makes sense.#but like....also.... it's implied that it's NOT the current tharja who treated noire that way. it was doomed!future tharja#is this splitting hairs? yeah i guess? but like...the whole point of awakening is that our decisions and bonds shape who we are.#we could be an entirely different person depending on what we choose to value#the tharja from noire's timeline is not the tharja from the current timeline and current! tharja shows how much she cares for noire#another point of contention with tharja is her robin obsession#which CAN be annoying. i'll grant you that.#HOWEVER she only mentions robin in 2 of her s-supports i believe#frankly i think cordelia is a worse offender here. i can't think of a support where she DOESN'T mention chrom#anyway let's also not forget how committed tharja is to being sharena's friend in FEH#GOOOODDD i really do love tharja... she's so great#i was actually reading lon'qu's supports because i want to do an s-rank convo tierlist for him maybe but i got distracted#by his support with tharja which is just SOOOOOO peak#that i just ended up reading all of tharja's supports as well sjsjskksksk so sorry lonk i'm thinking about tharja today!
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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Ghost children and the worthless treaty
The DC dimension had faced multiple dangers: invasions, threats, multiple ends of the world, demons. And yet what finally defeated the heroes were children.
The Ghost King was the one who took care of the children for the most part (because he understood them). Which was a terrible idea considering he was a teenager himself and all of his knowledge was pretty skewed towards his own children. Another thing to take into account: his two children were 24 and 14 years old (but not really? He said it was complicated)
So when the Justice League finally contacted him about establishing an alliance, the king gave them a test, that if they completed it they would establish a peaceful alliance immediately and he would owe them a favor. Danny didn't mind making alliances but he needed a few days off from his own children.
When they heard of the test, the heroes accepted, trusting in his abilities. Take care of children? Piece of cake, they had Young Justice and it wouldn't be much different. The king smiled with all his fangs and told them to take care of his children's friends as well. To which Constantine had a horrible premonition.
The League did not expect the problem that would be keeping "Dan and Dani" Phantom in check. Along with Youngblood and Klemper. The four of them much preferred Danny's care, and were not at all thrilled with the situation.
The appearance of the ghostly "teenagers" didn't make it any better, and Batman began to question if it was worth it. Dan Phantom claimed that it could be worse, since he was technically "grounded" and couldn't hurt anyone. Dani teased him about it.
Constantine knew it wasn't worth it.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#who gave kids to a teenager#and worse#who gave ghost kids and ghost teenagers to the same teen#The JL don't know what they got themselves into#dan phantom#he is a menace#danielle phantom#she is a menace too#Danny will make the treaty anyways#he just want some days off from being a parent#Kings need to sleep too#Constantine is sure it doesn't worth it#dp x dc#dc x dp#Youngblood is having fun#Klemper will give a lot of hugs#Babysitters JL#They are not prepared#Ghost teenagers will appear too just to cause some trouble
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Interviewer: Avatar Aang, why did you run away from home? Aang: I was told I was the Avatar at like 12, and the pressure got to me so I childishly ran away. :( Ironically that ended up being the right choice, but that's a diff story. Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Aang: Of course! My best buddy, ol' pal Appa! :D Appa: Moo Interviewer: Avatar Korra, why did you run away from home? Korra: Well the first time- I don't want to talk about the second time- it was because those jerks wouldn't let me BE THE AVATAR! So I ran away to do my duties! Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Korra: Of course! Only the best girl ever, Naga! Naga: Woof
Interviewer: Avatar Kyoshi, why did you run away from home? Kyoshi: After witnessing the death of two of my loved ones. I swore to escape my sifu's control and to get revenge by any means necessary. Interviewer: Fascinating. Did you take anyone with you? Kyoshi: Of course! I took my totally 100%, platonic bestie Rangi! Mmmhmmm just friends, totally, ONLY friends. Haha. No secret longing feelings here, no siree. Rangi: Platonic???? Not by the end of this trip, not if I have anything to say about it!
#atla#avatar the last air bender#lok#legend of korra#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#rangi#korra#kyoshi#rangi sei'naka#rangshi#rangi seinaka#rangi i get it girl but kyoshi's having a gay crisis you need to be more forward#parallels#it was a funny post and fun parallels leave me be!#i think i'm funny#the 2nd time korra ran away she took her ptsd with her ;w; but we don't talk about that!#kyoshi is over compensating cause she doesn't want her bestie to know she's in love with her#little does she know rangi was DTF for like 2 years now TT0TT#i love how they both throw out 'i'm totally in love w/u vibes' but then they just fucking miss each other????#and what's worse is that both think they're just soooo good at hiding it TT0TT the miscommunication no one does it like THEM#my fav type of miscommunication#absolute messes I love them#aang and korra were great foils#but adding kyoshi makes such a great 3 way venn diagram~!
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Rewatching Chapter 1 to write a fic and this just fucking hurts.
#seeing how cheerful she used to be before it all came crashing down is so depressing#this is right before what happened with Xander too#and knowing how now she just doesn't trust anyone or want to talk to anyone anymore#and she's become completely asocial and doesn't have any friends#it's completely understandable why she became like this and that makes it worse#what could have been#drdt#danganronpa despair time#teruko tawaki
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Sometimes i lay thinking about them
#about how it could never be a betrayal because they were never friends to begin with#or worse yet: one of them thought they were.#how awful vanessa felt to hurt someone who's never been anything but the kindest soul on earth to her.#how she wished that at the very least they would have a swift and painless end so as to not longer suffer at her unwilling hand.#how she wished they would just stay away. wondering if they would keep smiling this brightly at her if they knew.#and to find out they never actually cared to begin with#that she was never a friend#and now after all this she might never have the chance to be one after all. now matter how much she tries to redeem herself#and that's something they both have to make peace with#they were acquaintances at best who never knew much about each others lives but having that bridge burn down with hell flames#was something neither of them wanted and will have to live with while facing each other for a very long time#they don't forgive her. she doesn't either#immortal au#sunshine talks#doodles#sunshine draws#wip#oc#i know nobody cares i just have a lot of thoughts about the fucked up relationships in this au
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"I want this one, she said."
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#it just makes me so sad that she feels that she deserved what happened to her#and she doesn't agree with you when you tell her she didn't#she says similar things when talking about her mother#minthara has regularly received abuse her entire life and thinks she deserved it at every avenue#because if she was strong enough it wouldn't have happened#she takes her abuse and builds up thicker and thicker walls around herself#keeping everyone away from her no matter how much she craves connection#except for you#you are able to get past those walls because she knows with a guaranteed certainty you will never hurt her like everyone else has#i wonder how refreshing that has to be for her#two centuries of being abused by everyone you've ever cared for#terrified that the next will hurt you worse than the last#and you find someone you can guarantee will never harm you#there is a reason why minthara clings onto you so hard and literally does not want to be anywhere else but by your side
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*Skitters up to you on all fours and drops this in your lap, then scrambles up the walls and onto the ceiling and immediately falls asleep*
Comic time! Lucky wakes up in the middle of the night and has a chat with Sen in this one.
#ah yes. the struggle of seeing yourself as a machine incapable of truly having an emotional connection with others#no matter how deeply you long for such things#whilst simultaneously seeing that deep longing within you as a mistake. a flaw. an imperfection#you were made to be absolute and impartial#to be biased in favor of your charges beyond that which your ‘programming’ dictates is shameful#you are broken. you are flawed. you want and you want and you want and you’ve never stopped /wanting./#you aren’t supposed to worry or care or love. you weren’t made for it.#and if you were not made for it then you simply cannot worry or care or love.#these /things/ that haunt you and make you inefficient are not emotions.#they are your imperfections; flaws in your make; symbols of your failures to live up to your purpose#you are broken. you are flawed. and you want so deeply that you can scarcely keep the longing inside you#such a failure you are; to not only survive the fall of the metropolis you were built to give your life to defend#but also to stoop to and revel in such indulgent imperfections as these false emotions the moment your makers are gone to dust#Fun Fact! Sen doesn’t require sleep#and spends every evening standing outside of Sharpedo Bluff / whatever campsite the gang have set up to guard the entrance.#she doesn't stay inside at night because it wasn't something done in the metropolis she hails from.#sentries are meant to watch over their charges. they are not meant to indulge in the pleasant and dry warmth of their homes.#Kip hears about this eventually (he thought it was just Sen not trusting people enough to sleep around them) and FLIPS OUT#“PLEASE would you come inside IT'S LITERALLY HAILING”#Sen is taking so much hail damage and has the gall to look at him and say “You should return to your home. the weather is unfavorable”#Kip just screams into his hands because he might have found someone even worse at self-care than Twig#And with that#it is beddy-bye time for Sofie :)#the present is a gift au#pmd oc#pmd ocs#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokémon mystery dungeon#pmd explorers#pmd eos
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woe divorced spock meme be upon ye
#star trek#tos#for anyone curious the context is this is from an au where the triumvirate has a podcast#and t'pring divorces spock bc she doesn't want to be the consort of a podcaster#and bones is the one making these memes and spamming the podcasts twitter from the account spockhater69#but idk if the context makes it better or worse
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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It honestly baffles me that some people are so casually dismissive of animals' feelings. Istg some ppl only see pets like toys and are barely able to hide it
#vent post alert#but I'm just so frustrated#my mom's dog got hit by a car yesterday and she refused to take him to the vet#she said she doesn't have any money for it and that he's fine#physically he seems fine just bruised. I think he might have something internal but she's been very dismissive of that#anyway. he spent the whole night crying bc he was alone and terrified#I went upstairs and almost begged her to take him to the vet but she still refused saying he was fine#then she put him inside her house and he calmed down after a while#the next morning when she came downstairs to talk to me she kept being dismissive#saying he was fine in the end he just wanted attention#and I'm like yeah?? obviously?? he got hit by a car???? the poor thing is traumatized and terrified#ofc he doesn't want to be alone#and she hit me with the 'dogs don't get traumatized. he's just being dramatic'#I pointed out some dogs have psychological pregnancy so ofc they have psychological problems too#and THEN she hit me with 'but those are female dogs. males are different. because hormones' like. WHAT#this just in not only do human males not have feelings but now dog males don't either. because hormones.#I thought my mom was smarter than this tbh#istg her boyfriend is just making her more ignorant. bc this is the kind of bs I expected to hear from him but not from her#anyway I don't know what to do. I don't have money for the vet either bc I just had to pay for a surgery#we talked and she said she'll monitor the dog and if he looks like he's getting worse she'll take him to the vet#ig I'll have to settle for that#I love my mom but man. this is weird#I just didn't expect it from her#what's worse is that when it's just her and me it's one thing. but when her bf is around I feel like she gets different#like with me she agrees but then around him she doesn't?? how am I supposed to trust her that way#it's all just so weird. idk what to think or what to feel rn. I just feel bad#sleep.txt
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han sooyoung 1863 (and her specifically) offering eternal sleep to yoo joonghyuk is an act of mercy and.... and, god, it was kindness
#orv spoilers#your god (who does not yet know she's your god) looks at you and goes#sacrifice your connections to all of these people#suffer alone for so long you become a shell of a man#and at the end i promise i'll make this world (which you love so so much) as safe as it can be#not as safe as we would want it. we cannot save it in that way#but we can hit pause and at least stop it from getting any worse#this is the best peace i can offer it and you#and then. then you can go to sleep. you can stop.#i've made you walk for so long now just a few more steps and i'll let you rest#orv#han sooyoung#yoo joonghyuk#orv.txt#fra.txt#yoohan#their dynamic in 1863 makes me insane in hindsight#and she doesn't know she made him but the fact that she alone was able to offer this to him........#of course. of course it was her. it couldn't be anyone but.
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(CW: mentions of various kinds of abuse)
I finished kevin can fuck himself (recommend it, it has so much fun with genre) which is essentially a dark comedy about a woman breaking away from a narcissistic husband and i keep seeing people having theories of like "i bet he was physically abusing her but we didn't see it" which i think misses the point of the show.
not saying it doesn't happen but it's less common for someone to say "my partner hit me" and be brushed off with a "that's just how marriage is lol". the show is about how someone can subtly abuse and manipulate you for years before you realize how bad it's gotten. combined with how they can downplay their harm so everyone around you laughs it off.
to that point i've seen a few people like "i don't get it, he's not that bad" because the harm he causes is funny or 'not a big deal'. like she can't hate him for ruining her life unless he hit her.
it's similar imo to when all the stuff around nickelodeon shows was coming out where it seemed like people almost wanted dan schneider to have sexually assaulted a child and weren't satisfied with "his conduct was questionable also he was constantly screaming at children" like if all he did was berate kids, that is deplorable enough, things don't have to be the absolute worse case scenario before someone's allowed to complain or remove themself from the situation
#tbf there's a couple times where his bullshit does cause her physical harm#but to me that was less 'he wanted to hurt her on purpose'#and more 'he cares so much more about himself than her that worrying if she could be hurt doesn't factor into his decision making at all'#which is how he treats everyone around him. it's less maliciousness and more selfishness to the point of negligence#but yeah i think people have an obsession with like deep cruelty when they hear stories and like to jump to the worse case scenario#it's like how ppl think the weird guy in the parking lot is going to kidnap and traffic them#which if he was going to do any crime (he isn't you're paranoid and maybe racist) he'd just steal your fucking purse#most people are normal. you just want people who upset you to be pure evil so you don't have to think about your own capacity for harm#kevin can f himself for ts
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me: don't think about it
me: Charlie going to the demon over lords like "hey look! heaven attacked and we fought and (mostly) didn't die and a sinner got yeeted up to heaven! Will you please support my (newly rebuilt) hotel now??"
(most) demon over lords looking at charlie like: shit the second most powerful person currently in hell, who was BORN with that power, is trying to fuck up the power that WE clawed our way to the top of (she's ruining it by giving sinners hope) (meaning they won't be so eager to sell themselves off to bigger demons) (meaning bigger demons will have less power) (if she has it her way they'll be fewer sinners at ALL) (which won't work) (bc this is all still Stupid) (BUT) (if the people of hell start thinking they have a chance...) AND she wants us to stick OUR necks on the line in the fight against heaven (who don't traditionally go after her or her family anyway but love hunting US) now she's also got her dad actively backing her up, so we can't just say a flat "no" or try fighting her over it, especially not since she's shown herself to be not so lame after all.... we need a way to get all of hell doubting and mistrusting her, so they don't go to her hotel thing instead of to us... but what can we use against her? what weak spot does she h-
over lords, looking over at charlie's girlfriend vaggie, and her newly returned, never-before mentioned angel wings: ......Hmmm...
charlie: trying to explain that her gf WAS an exorcist yes ok, and sure she DID kill lots of sinners but- No charlie didn't know that when they started dating but they've worked through it and vaggie- look she fought on hell's side during the hotel battle she was right there with charlie up in heaven advocating for sinners getting a second chance-
What? Yeah she, she went back to heaven that one time. No I guess she's not banished exactly, they just tore off her wings and left her to die here after she- NO she does NOT want to go back- yes ok she COULD but she doesn't WANT to, the hotel is her home now and- look she almost died fighting for it-
it wasn't a LIE, she just, she was scared and didn't tell the truth! What do you mean "can't trust your judgment"? I know her and I knew she'd have my back and she DID, the whole POINT of the hotel, which WORKS by the way, is that people can change-
NO SHE ISN'T SPYING ON US FOR HEAVEN! she hates them! no I'm not "just" saying that because "she said so" I can TELL we've been together for THREE YEARS- YES FINE SHE WAS HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME ALL THAT TIME OKAY but look at what she's done and been DOING! Yes, thank you Caramilla- she got her wings back and used them to fight for- she- WHAT?! NO! She's the hotel manager- she's OUR hotel's manager- she can't leave, that's- wh- fire her? It's her HOME! I'm her partner not her boss!! No I'm not listening to this! This is stupid- the whole hotel wouldn't even BE a thing if I hadn't MET her and it wouldn't work without her! I-
vaggie: I'll go vaggie: charlie's being modest. she's got things covered here vaggie: I'll be hell's spy in heaven, if it'll help. IF you all support the hotel.
and the overlords smile and promise-
(of course of course they will, really, it's nothing against her just a little PR issue, a matter of building trust, so naturally she'll report only to them yes? she and charlie will make a little deal not to contact each other otherwise? they're just worried, you see, wouldn't want an angel taking advantage of the princess of hell's confidence again, so glad she understands)
-nice and sharp and already watching eagerly as charlie's newfound backbone crumples while she stares at vaggie, wordless again just like up in heaven, and doesn't react when vaggie takes her hand and gives her a pleading look-
back at the hotel, alone, vaggie is swapping out her hotel vest for the clothes she was in when they met, wrinkled and crammed at the bottom of drawer, while charlie sits on their bed refusing to watch. vaggie doesn't pack for heaven. she walks over with just her spear and holds it out- here. she'll feel better, about being away, if charlie keeps this with her. charlie doesn't take it. charlie doesn't answer. charlie's crying and she latches on tight when vaggie drops the spear to hug her. she should've been able to stop this- she can't keep the hotel running on her- she doesn't WANT to TRY doing this alone-
she won't be. vaggie reminders her, lucifer and the others are all here, charlie isn't alone anymore. she's got the hotel. she's GOT this. and vaggie will come back
but she's tired of being scared and she's not gonna risk both their dream because of it. not again.
so, vaggie goes to heaven, supposedly to help sir pentious settle into his new life up there, with the help of emily to smooth things over and the fact that adam and lute swept her under the rug instead of making her fall an official thing- and considering the circumstances, emily argues, they were in the wrong anyway, especially now a sinner HAS been redeemed
meanwhile charlie stays in hell, at the hotel, without her.
and she's short tempered with worry, impatient with the everyday problems of the hotel- vaggie up in heaven with LUTE the woman who ripped out her eye ripped off her wings tried to kill her- all because charlie couldn't convince the overlords- couldn't convince (wasn't enough to convince?) vaggie to STAY- and,
the other's notice, notice that asking how things are NOW is too raw but asking about the past is easier, lighter, get's charlie lost in memory instead of on of her worry spirals, and there's flashbacks of them getting together- there's vaggie up in heaven quiet and listless as she shadows sir pentious around keeping lute at bay and he looks over at her nervously, he brings up how much he misses cherri, and how he could use a few relationship tips for when she (surely) eventually ends up here too-
charlie and vaggie, both of them apart in the present, neither of them okay, maybe vaggie's snooping up in heaven leads her to lilith and gets her in trouble- maybe charlie makes deals she regrets down in hell trying to keep things going without her- but we see them in the past, together, and them pulling on those memories now, trying to get back to each other again
or something like that.
#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#vaggie#chaggie#future au idea?#angst#vaggie not wanting to go back to heaven so SO much but she'll do it she'll go if her being at the hotel is making things worse#charlie who knows this is a BAD IDEA. really VERY BAD#buuuuut it is actually something she can survive it turns out#and vaggie does realize the idea was dumb#and she DOES come back#and everything is FINE#THEY'LL BE#FINE#this idea doesn't work without a very happy ending ok#no#i don't care if emily has to emotionally drop kick vaggie back into hell the reunion will be very sweet
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why are people saying the princess is too nice to you in the pristine cut all of a sudden. what the fuck were you guys playing. where the hell are we
#talk tag#vague spoilers in tags#this is making me feel insane. is this in reference to the den? the den where it expanded upon your previous ability to be kind to her--#--that she takes because she is at her lowest?? that we already knew she would take????#or the route stemming from the damsel? where she already doesnt lift a finger to protect herself and its only made worse--#--because youre being even more cruel to her now??? and shes just resigned to it??#or the offshoot of the prisoner?? where she already wants to be on your side? and yet STILL hurts you and is cruel to you in a detached way#the spectre offshoot is kind but its very clear that this is like an alternate telling of the wild which was ALREADY a softer version of he#and like. the fury. in her entirety. there might be potential catharsis but that shit is brutal.#and even apotheosis' kindness is so very conditional. she just wants an audience. and shes so willing to hurt you to get what she wants#idk this new avenue of argument all just feels very nitpicky. this is such a non-issue#if you want her to be meaner to you maybe dont play routes where she doesn't hate you and then pick nice dialog options
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