#and she doesn't fucking want sam to help her. in her own words she'd say how she's nearly clawed her way out of the pit herself

[quietwingsinthesky]

watching taxi driver but what i am actually seeing is the elaborate alternate version im constructing in my head where lucifer has to escort sam through hell in order to save bela, who didn't deserve the fate she got, and sam is so filled with hope that he can right this wrong and complete the trial and then when they get there she's a demon <3

[purple-babygirl]

don't call me daddy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader

Word count: 4,826

Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.

Warnings: Bucky is mean, a couple of insults, mistreatment of age regressed reader, crying, mentions of hot liquid getting on skin, crying, mentions of the r-word and the s-word, Bucky's PTSD & nightmares

A/N: so this is an idea I've had for forever and I finally mustered up enough courage to share it with you guys. Please enjoy and let me know what you think and if you have anything you'd like to suggest for the upcoming parts. I love you ����

~

“This sounds stupid,” Bucky grumbled when Sam suggested the program.

“It's not stupid, Buck and it works!”

“If it worked for you doesn't mean it's gonna work for me, Sam. You have patience and it's in your nature to want to take care of people.”

“Says the one who looked out for Steve all his life!”

“Steve was one person and he was actually dumb, he wasn’t acting like he can't fucking feed himself!”

“They're not acting. They're age regressed.” Sam tried to remain calm.

“What does that even mean!”

“It means—”

“You know what? I don't care because I'm not doing it.” Bucky smiled before leaving Sam's house and going back to hide in his own.

But Sam was persistent. He was determined to get Bucky help that would actually help. So he suggested the program to Bucky's therapist and before Bucky could punch him, she was having him sign the contract.

“Sam, I don't wanna meet anyone. It's not gonna work anyway so let's just pick any of them.”

“They're not service dogs, Bucky!”

“Really? Because that's exactly what it sounds like they are to me.”

Sam glared at him, elbowing his side as a short lady with a kind smile approached them.

Bucky didn't pay her much attention. He didn't want to be here and he didn't care what she was reciting.

Only thing that caught his attention was when she asked him what age he would prefer so she could introduce him to a group of littles.

He was dreading this. It was stupid.

“…what are you looking for?” Bucky caught the end of her talk with Sam.

“I don't know, someone who can talk like they're not retarded,” he answered the lady rudely and she smiled in understanding when Sam apologized.

“They're not retarded. All of them are perfectly healthy and okay. They're age regressed,” she told Bucky and he rolled his eyes so hard he felt they might never return from the back of his head.

He hated those two words. Age regressed, what the fuck did that even mean?

“Maybe we can meet some of the littles who are not so young, like 6 year olds?” Sam suggested and she nodded, leading them to a building with long corridors and lots of doors.

Bucky could see adult women and men playing with dolls, sleeping with pacifiers and some of them even had other people feeding them.

What the hell was this place? Did they expect him to do that? With a person perfectly capable of handling his or her own self but chooses not to?! Was this the 21st century? Because he didn’t like it very much.

The lady led them inside her office and got a group of files out of some organized drawer. She'd barely laid them out on the table before Bucky was slamming his finger on one.

“We'll take this one,” he said, staring at the lady in disinterest.

“But you haven't even seen them,” Sam said between his teeth, kicking his leg under the table. He wished Bucky cared enough to do this right.

“I've seen enough. I pick this file and I wanna leave,” Bucky seethed back.

“This is Doll. She's one of the softest littles I've ever met and I think you've made a great choice, Mr. Barnes.”

“You call her Doll?”

“Yes, real names aren't revealed for the privacy of our littles unless they decide otherwise and she chose the name herself when she joined us.” The lady smiled kindly, making Bucky even madder.

“Whatever, let's get this over with. Tell her to come so we could leave.”

“Mr. Barnes, I have to admit your attitude towards this is very concerning and I fear I cannot risk the peace of our littles who confide in us to find them safe partners! Like I said she's one of the gentlest and I need to know you're going to treat her right before I even let you meet her!” The woman voiced her concerns and Bucky sighed.

He couldn't blow this now. He's come far enough with this whole process and if he went back to his therapist like that she was definitely going to get out her dreadful notebook.

He had to take this girl home tonight or else they would make him go through this same process over and over again.

“I'm sorry. I'm just a little confused, I guess.” Bucky scratched his beard.

“That's okay.” She smiled again, “most of our visitors are, but you can always ask.”

“Well— what is wrong with them?!” He exclaimed, gesturing with his hands in the air.

Sam kicked him again and glared.

“What? She said I could ask!”

“It's okay,” she told Sam with a chuckle.

“Nothing is wrong with them. Them regressing in age is their way to cope and relieve anxiety or deal with other mental illnesses such as traumatic experiences, or even just stress. It's a freer, calmer state of mind for them to return to when it's no longer easy for them to be big.”

Her calm, kind manner while explaining this made Bucky even angrier inside. This wasn’t normal and they should all stop acting like it was.

“So they're supposed to be helping me with my issues but they're dealing with their own issues?”

Like he originally thought, this was stupid.

“Yes, it's a mutual helping program.” The lady confirmed.

“Oh. And what's this Doll's issue?”

“Doll reverts to age regression as a coping mechanism for her depression and PTSD. She's been doing great lately actually!”

“Is she suddenly gonna go grownup or?” Bucky continued, involuntarily asking every question on his mind.

“No, like I said, Doll reverts to little space for the comfort and safety of it and while she can coax herself out of her headspace, she rarely ever chooses to.”

“But she can?”

“Yes. But I need to tell you, Mr. Barnes, that this is not why you're here.” She reminded, wanting to ensure the safety of self expression for the little one.

“I know.”

“I also need you to promise me to be a good caregiver for her. She's a sweet girl and I can guarantee she will be good for you.”

“I promise.” Bucky knew he was lying but he couldn’t care less about his honesty at the moment.

“And it’s never acceptable to make fun of her or try to force her into a more grownup headspace. That only makes it worse and her mind regresses further.”

“So what she becomes younger?!” He was trying so hard not to get frustrated, why make him!

“That's correct.” She nodded.

“How young?” Sam asked.

“The youngest she's ever been is 4.”

“Oh.” Great. Just great.

“She can still talk just fine,” she reassured them, knowing Bucky didn't want anyone who couldn't talk or seemed 'retarded'.

“Okay, good.” Bucky nodded, wanting to get out of the place as soon as possible.

“Would you like to meet Doll now or do you wanna take a look at the rest of the files?”

“I'll meet her.” Bucky stood up, hand already at the doorknob.

~

The meeting thing went relatively well and Bucky was surprised the girl wasn't intimidated by his frown or intense stare. She was mesmerized by the metal arm even.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he still thought this whole thing was dumb but he needed to convince his therapist and everyone that he was okay again so they'd leave him alone.

She didn’t ask him any questions or have any conditions. She just stared at him with wide, sparkly eyes.

A minute later he heard the girl whisper her agreement to the short lady.

Apparently, she was big enough to make the decision to leave with a strange man she didn't know but not enough to properly dress herself or sleep without a damn toy.

Bucky was relieved anyway; glad she was idiotic enough to choose him so he wouldn't have to meet with any other 'littles'. And she wasn't ugly to look at either.

The old lady had a word with her privately before she was packing a bag and they were on their way to Bucky’s place.

~

“Where do I stay, daddy?”

Bucky hasn’t said a word to her since they’d left the institution. He made her carry her bag from the car to the elevator and from the elevator inside the apartment. He wasn’t going to be nobody’s maid.

She was physically capable and that didn’t need a professional to see it.

“I don’t know, figure it out.” Bucky shrugged, kicking his shoes off by the door and stepping inside.

She followed his lead and neatly placed her shoes at the corner by the door as well.

“Where do you want me to stay, daddy?” she asked politely, wanting to make him comfortable, seeing he was the owner of the house.

He was making her a little nervous.

This wasn’t his energy back at the institution and she tried her best not to get scared.

“I don't want you. I never did,” Bucky told her the minute she sat on his couch, throwing his keys on the wooden coffee table, “We're just gonna pretend your presence here is changing something and then I'm gonna return you.”

I don't want you.

She's definitely heard that before.

Return her. Like she was some sort of item. She wasn't what he wanted and it cracked her trained-to-love heart.

“Yes, daddy,” she replied brokenly, tears threatening to spill over the rims of her eyes.

Nothing was worse than feeling unwanted.

“Don't call me that.” Bucky snapped.

“B— But you're my daddy.” She was seriously confused now. Why would he pick her if he didn’t want this?

“I'm not your anything and stop acting so small, you look grown up enough to me.”

Why did he take her home if he didn’t like her and didn’t want to be her Daddy?

“I'm not acting.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she felt more insecure than ever.

“Yeah, yeah, you're age regressed. Whatever, just don't call me that. I'm no one's daddy.” Bucky took his shirt off throwing it on the couch beside her, making her flinch.

“But what should I call you if not—”

“Call me Mr. Barnes, if you're so keen on being polite.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She sniffled.

“And stop crying.” He huffed.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly wiped at her face, holding the rest of her tears inside and forcing the lump in her throat further down.

Bucky muttered something under his breath before snatching his shirt and leaving to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him as she flinched again.

He didn't say she was a good girl for calling him what he wanted, or for stopping her crying when she was told to. He didn't like her and he wanted to return her.

What was she supposed to do until he sent her back? He didn't want her help even if they said he needed it.

Was it going to be like this for the next 3 months? How was she going to do all of the grown up stuff if Daddy Mr. Barnes didn't help her? How was she going to live? And why did she still care to try her best to be good for the harsh, blue-eyed man?

~

She didn’t know what to do so she sloppily changed her clothes by herself, putting her socks in the hamper to be washed like a good girl.

She washed her hands and feet by herself, unknowingly making Bucky think he was right all along about letting her do things on her own as she should.

That was until he put a hot cup of instant noodles before her for dinner though. He refused to help her eat and she accidentally spilled hot soup over her hand and the wooden table. It was chaos.

Bucky cursed out loud and she started crying in pain.

He had enough pity on her to drag her to the bathroom and put her hand under the cold water. If his hold on her arm hurt, she didn’t say anything.

“Keep it there, don’t you dare move.”

“Mr. Barnes, don’t leave,” she sniffled, eyes red and in pain.

“I’m not leaving you in the Sahara desert.” Bucky rolled his eyes, “I gotta go clean the mess you made.” He left her in the bathroom and she kept her hand under the water, not daring to move like she was told.

“How hard is it to eat fucking noodles! It’s not quantum physics!” Bucky muttered angrily as he wiped the soup off the table with a cloth.

“Fuck that age regression shit I am done!” He took their noodle cups to the kitchen and dumped both in the bin.

“What are you still doing in there! It’s not like you got burnt by lava!” Bucky shouted to her, walking to the bathroom.

“I— I— Mr. Barnes, you told me not to move.” She began crying again at his angry demeanor.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky groaned, “do you ever stop crying?!”

“I’m s-sorry.” She hiccupped. She didn’t know what to say or how to please him she just wanted him to stop glaring at her. She was scared.

“Get out of there and dry your hands,” Bucky told her, sitting on the couch with a sigh.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” Came her chocked whisper.

“Does it hurt?” Bucky asked when she came out of the bathroom, tears drying on her cheeks.

The question surprised her. Maybe he did care after all.

“Burns a little,” she told him, pointing to the back of her hand where the skin got burnt.

“I might have a cream here somewhere,” he said, trying his best to keep an unconcerned expression on.

She took a look around when Bucky stood up to look in the kitchen. It was a cozy place and she wasn’t too needy but she couldn’t help but wonder about where she was going to sleep.

There didn’t seem to be enough furniture in here.

“Try not to touch it and you should be fine in the morning,” Bucky instructed after applying the burns cream to the sensitive area of skin.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered before absentmindedly pecking Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her guts. He certainly didn’t see that coming. It was her first night here how was she so bold!

His breath stuttered out of his lungs but he quickly recomposed himself.

Bucky’s jaw clenched and he gave her a dark stare.

“Do you have a death wish?”

“N— No.” She quickly shook her head.

“Did I give you permission to do that?”

“No.” She shook her head again, sort of knowing where this was going. She was going to get punished.

“Then why’d you do it?” Bucky sneered through his teeth.

“To th— thank Mr. Barnes.” He made her so nervous she could barely hear herself answer him.

Bucky hated her. She had no sense of boundaries. He hated the way she cried all the time. He hated the way she referred to him in third person.

He hated her.

“You already said that, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“Don’t do it again.” Was all Bucky said and she was relieved.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky scoffed and stood up to put the cream back where he found it.

~

Turned out, Bucky had no bed. He slept on the floor and he didn’t need one.

“But where do I sleep, Mr. Barnes?” She asked in a small voice.

“Anywhere that is not next to me,” Bucky replied, not even sparing her a glance.

“Can I sleep here?” she asked, patting the couch.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She gave a shy smile.

“I didn’t make the damn couch. Just go to sleep.”

“Bad word again,” she whispered.

“What was that?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing.” She slammed a hand on her mouth.

“Repeat what you just said if you know what’s good for you.” Bucky glared.

“I— Mr. Barnes said a bad word,” she whispered shakily.

“Yeah, well, it’s my house! I’ll talk however I want!” Bucky raised his voice.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She nodded, not even thinking about arguing that he shouldn’t curse in front of a little.

“Go to sleep.”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly plopped on the couch, covering herself with a blanket, and burying her face in a cushion.

Bucky almost chuckled; almost thought it was cute but he shook the smile off his face quickly and sighed, taking his shirt off and getting himself on the hard floor, easily falling asleep.

He always falls asleep so fast because nightmares usually wake him up few hours after; he be waiting for bed time all day.

She peeked from under the blanket when she heard Bucky snore, carefully tiptoeing to her bag to get her stuffie. She took one look at shirtless Bucky, her cheeks heating up, before sliding back under the covers on the couch.

Her Daddy that didn’t like to be called Daddy was beautiful.

~

It has started again. He’s chasing a person, he corners them to where they could not run anymore, his left hand wraps around their throat, they struggle and beg and then snap. He kills them.

Bucky startled awake, having a hard time taking his breath only to find her on the floor next to him.

Her eyes were full of worry and maybe even sympathy as she clutched a stuffed animal. Bucky didn’t like it.

“It’s okay, Daddy— Mr. Barnes. ‘T was just a bad dream.” She whispered, dropping her stuffie to wrap her short arms around Bucky.

He wouldn’t admit it but it felt nice to be held. Something inside him wanted to succumb to the gentleness of her gesture. But Bucky shut that down at once.

“Get off,” Bucky huffed tiredly as the girl clung to him and rubbed his sweaty back.

“But—”

“Get. Off.” He repeated, grinding his teeth and she reluctantly slipped off his lap and went back to her spot on the floor.

She stared at him as he panted and frowned for a second before leaving the room.

Bucky scoffed, rubbing a hand down his hot face. She probably went to cry in the bathroom again; such a crybaby.

Except she didn’t.

She returned with a relatively cool glass of water, only half full. She didn't want to be bad and spill.

“I got you water, Mr. Barnes.” She carefully got on her knees and offered him the cup.

“Stop saying my name so much.” Bucky snatched the cup out of her hand, gulping down the water without showing an ounce of gratitude.

She pouted, crawling to her bag to get him tissues because she didn’t see any around.

“So you do know how to act around liquids after all.” Bucky taunted, still not over the fact that she spilled soup over his table before taking the tissues from her to wipe his forehead.

“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby, Mr. Barnes? It helps me after bad dreams.” She suggested, desperately hoping he would let her help.

“Not all of us act like kids to flee our nightmares.”

“Mr. Barnes.” Her eyes filled with tears and it was the last thing Bucky wanted to deal with, “I’m not acting.”

She was hurt but he didn’t care. He said what he said.

“Get back on the couch, I wanna go to sleep.” Bucky dismissed, pushing the empty glass against the wall.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered dejectedly, taking her friend and crawling back to the couch.

~

The same thing happened every night for another four nights. At this point she was really worried about the man she started singing lullabies anyway, not waiting for his permission.

“Hey, you!”

“Doll,” she corrected.

“Whatever! Shut up already. I told you I don’t need your stupid singing.” Bucky growled into his pillow.

He was lying. He hated admitting it but he was. Her voice was actually angelic. He never went back to sleep again after a nightmare but that changed when she ignored his wishes and started singing. Bucky could drift off again to her soft voice.

He could get more hours of nightmareless sleep because of her lullabies. But he was too stubborn to admit anything that came from her was working for him.

It must be a coincidence. He probably fell asleep again because he was exhausted from being mad at her all day.

“I know Mr. Barnes doesn’t need it. It’s for me.” She lied as well. She knew lying wasn’t good girl like but she was helping Mr. Barnes; it was for good reason.

~

“Mr. Barnes,” her small voice called to him but Bucky was ignoring her.

He was pretending he couldn’t hear her and continued staring at the TV because she talked too much for his liking.

“Mr. Barnes.” She ever so lightly touched Bucky’s arm.

“What!” he spit suddenly, making her jump.

“We— We need to go shopping. Mrs. Morrison will visit tomorrow.”

She knew the process and for some reason didn’t want to be taken away from Bucky.

If Mrs. Morrison came and saw the way the apartment was or the way Bucky treated Doll, she was definitely going to make her leave with her.

“What?!”

“It’s day five.” She reminded, tilting her head to the side.

“Yeah, so?” Bucky’s body fully turned to face her.

“Tomorrow’s visit day. We have to go shopping.”

“How do I know you’re not lying just to get me to buy you things?”

“I don’t lie, Mr. Barnes.” She assured him, looking hurt at even the suggestion.

“It’s in the papers,” she told him, referring to the contract he’s signed as well as the guide he was provided with her file before leaving the institution.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, but stood up to look at the papers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer in the kitchen a few days ago.

“Shit,” he muttered when he saw she wasn’t lying. He heard her whisper bad word but chose to ignore it.

There were scheduled visits listed with different time intervals between each visit for the next three months.

Bucky groaned, throwing the paper sheet back in the drawer and slamming it shut.

“Put your clothes on, we’re going fucking shopping.”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t even—” she ran to the bathroom to change before Bucky could get angrier.

What has Sam gotten him into?

~

“Why’s your hair so messy!” Bucky asked, shoving her out of his way to grab a jar of peanut butter and put in the cart.

“I don’t know how to do it on my own an’ Mr. Barnes kept telling me to hurry up.”

Her voice was so small and if Bucky wasn’t so infuriated by the situation he would’ve felt bad for how he spoke to her.

“You’d think you’d actually look decent enough after taking forever to get ready.” Bucky huffed.

She remained silent, looking down and closing in on herself.

“Do you eat this?” Bucky asked, waving a box of corn flakes in front of her.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky nodded, throwing the box in the cart.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop saying my name so much?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barn—” Bucky’s cold stare stopped the word on her tongue.

“Call me Bucky.”

He didn’t want her to call him Bucky. But if that Mrs. Morrison was visiting tomorrow she couldn’t know he made her speak to him formally.

“Bucky?”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Bucky.” She smiled shyly, feeling one step closer to the man.

Bucky didn’t know his life would turn upside down so fast.

He never cared about grocery shopping because he didn’t need that much stuff and he mostly ate at restaurants or diners or bought take out. He mainly just had beer filling his fridge.

But with her tied to him now he was buying all kinds of food: fresh vegetables and fruits, juice boxes, snack bars and way too many Oreos. Not to mention the toiletries he had to pay for because aside from her tooth and hair brushes, she came with nothing.

“Bucky, can we please get this?” she asked, pointing to a stuffed white wolf.

“No, you already have one at home. I see it every night.”

“Please, Bucky, please. Pretty please,” she begged, giving puppy eyes and pressing her palms together even.

“Okay, fine, shut up. God!” Bucky grumpily put the toy in the cart and got them to the nearest cashier before she could pick anything else.

She was so happy and was going to cherish her new stuffie more than ever.

~

Bucky was pacing back and forth in the living room. He needed to find a way to convince her not to tell Mrs. Morrison or whatever her name was how he treated her.

He didn’t want her to know she had any type of power over him because of the situation.

Bucky definitely wasn’t going to say please, but he also knew he couldn’t scare her into saying what he wanted.

“Bucky, please go to bed. Wolfie can’t sleep.” She whined, hugging her newest stuffie to her heart.

Bucky gave her yet another hard glare. She made him so angry that sometimes he forgot how to function. She was so spoiled and oblivious.

“I won’t say anything to Mrs. Morrison,” she whispered.

“You think I care what you have to say?! They could take you right now for all I care!” Bucky replied angrily.

“I know…” she mumbled, “I don’t want them to.”

Her words left Bucky without a reply. He was confused. She didn’t want to leave? Why not? Bucky hasn’t said one kind word to her since she’s been entrusted to him.

Was she some type of masochist?

“I wanna stay with Bucky. Sing him lullabies and eat noodles with him,” she said, her voice soft and heavy with sleep, before her eyes shut as she drifted off.

Her words put Bucky at ease for now and he got on the floor to finally try to get some sleep. He tried to ignore the way they affected him though.

~

“Bucky,” she called gently.

“Hmm.”

“I need to shower,” came her timid whisper.

“Do you see me using the bathroom?! Help yourself.” Bucky huffed, stirring the sugar in his mug.

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?!” he snapped, throwing the spoon in the sink.

“I need Bucky’s help.” Her face was on fire with embarrassment of having to say this out loud.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky rolled his eyes, pushing his mug aside before grabbing her arm and pushing her to the bathroom.

She whimpered as they stood before the glass door of the shower.

“This, because you’re not stupid you’re just age regressed, opens the hot water.” Bucky pointed to the tap handle on the right. “This opens the cold water. And this—”

“Bucky, that’s not what I need help with.” She shook her head, biting down on her lip.

“What do you want from me then?!” Bucky had no patience and her bashfulness wasn’t helping.

She raised her arms up before whispering, “I need Bucky to gimme a shower.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t start now! You don’t know how to shower?!”

She shook her head, pouting as her eyes got teary again, “not when little.”

“This is bullshit. I didn’t even wanna do this. Damn you, Sam Wilson!” Bucky said, walking out of the bathroom angrily as she trailed behind him like the lost puppy she was.

“Bad word.”

“Stop!” Bucky boomed and she put her hands behind her back timidly.

“Please, Bucky,” she begged, getting hold of his hand.

“No! On my dead body!”

~

“Stand straight or I swear I’m gonna leave you here and go!”

“Yes, Bucky,” she giggled, the water trickling down her spine tickling her.

“Now what?” He huffed, trying not to stare at her naked chest.

“Now, this.” She held up the bottle of conditioner for him and Bucky sighed before taking it and squeezing some on his hand.

He was about to smooth it down her scalp when she moved away.

“No, no! This goes on the ends or else it gives you dandruff,” She said and Bucky would’ve facepalmed so hard if it wasn’t for the slippery matter covering his palms.

This was going to be long.

~

She was fast asleep on Bucky’s couch after her shower, so peaceful and without a care in the world.

Bucky envied her as he got in place on the floor. He really wished he had enough flexibility in him to accept help and care from someone.

But no, he didn't need her. He didn't need any of this. He just had to go through tomorrow and the rest will figure itself out.

Yeah, yeah just tomorrow for now, Bucky thought as he drifted off.

part II

~

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[lesbianpepsi]

would it be a sin if i stayed?

pairing: ghostface!sam carpenter x fem!reader

summary: you find out your girlfriend is hiding something from you

words: 3.120k

warnings: mentions of murders, gf!sam, knife, scream shenanigans, stab wounds, treating wounds, fear of cheating(?), swearing, bad writing

authors note: so it's been a minute huh, excuse the rusty writing i've been in pain and in a writers block

Everyone's entitled to their own secrets; there's nobody in the world that doesn't have at least one secret. 

Some people have small secrets such as not liking a certain food but saying they like to please the other person. Others don't have such sweet secrets.

The darkest secret you have is the fact you slit your ex's tire once after she cheated on you, it's not insanely dark or even cool, it's simply just a secret that you don't want people to know about.

Yet there's people in your life that hold such darker secrets, ones that could never be revealed to anyone; not even their most loyal loved ones. 

Unbeknownst to you that person is Sam Carpenter, your girlfriend of over a year.

—————

Me (17:29pm): i'll get started on dinner soon then?

Sammy<3 (17:32pm): Yes please. Hopefully I'll be done soon with my shift and can hopefully even help you a bit with the cooking! 👩‍🍳😊

Me (17:33pm): maybe i'll postpone for a bit then

Sammy<3 (17:33pm): No, start cooking. You need to eat and Derek is a bastard who won't let me off early anyways 😂😂

Me (17:34pm): fineeeee 

Me (17:34pm): see you soon then, love you <33

Sammy<3 (17:36pm): I love you too, Y/n ❤️

Me (18:12pm): i finished making dinnerrrr:)) 

Me (18:22pm): sammmm

Me (18:29pm): sam? 

Me (18:31pm): please answer me sam, where tf are you?? ik you finish your shift at six 

Me (19:06pm): Sam this isn't funny, please answer my calls.

You bite your bottom lip nervously as you reread over the messages hoping to see that small bubble pop up any second. 

Sure traffic was a reasonable reason to why Sam's late but she'd always message you after finishing her shift at work.

Sam's one of those people who never leaves the house without her phone being higher than 80%, meaning her phone being dead wouldn't explain it. She always made sure it had more than enough battery in case Tara or you called her and there was an emergency 

So why the fuck isn't Sam answering your texts? You can't help but worry after everything that's happened to the poor woman and her family with Ghostface. 

You've already tried calling her three times to no avail. Nervously you switch over to Tara's contact as your thumb hovers over the call button, debating whether you should ask her if she's seen Sam or not.

If Tara hasn't seen her and Sam is in fact just running incredibly late then you're just going to worry the younger Carpenter for no reason.

"Fuck." You mumbled to yourself as you lowered your thumb to dial Tara, deciding it's worth the risk.

Just as you're about to press down you hear the doorknob to your front door jangle, immediately you whip your head around to see Sam entering calmly.

You drop your phone and rush over to her throwing your arms around her desperately as you cling to her. 

Sam doesn't say anything as she slowly raises her hand to your back, rubbing it up and down slowly.

"Where were you, Sam? I thought something had happened." You say worriedly as you pull away staring into your eyes intently, noticing a glimmer in her eyes that you have never seen before. 

Her eyes looked darker, almost a lustful look in them. 

She sighed as she smiled apologetically. "Some girl puked all over the place so I had to clean it up so I wasn't done till six thirty, then my phone died so I couldn't text you."

You ponder for a second on the possibility of Sam's phone actually being dead since the messages and calls went through, meaning it would be impossible for her phone to be dead.

Biting your tongue you nod as you smile at Sam, just relieved to have her here. 

"Okay, glad you're safe then. I've made a plate for you so you just need to reheat it." Sam grins as she presses a quick kiss to your cheek making your ear burn just as they did the very first time they kissed you. 

"You're the best." She says and you chuckle giving a weak smirk. "I know right, the best girlfriend."

Sam pulls away from you as well, finally giving you a proper look of her. You tilt your head confused as you notice the baggy black hoodie she's wearing, practically devouring her and hiding her arms and upper body.

"You didn't leave wearing that this morning." You comment mindlessly as you grab the end of the sleeve, rolling your fingers around the soft texture.

Sam stiffens as she roughly pulls her arm away from your grip, crossing her arms over her chest. You frown at her abruptness. 

"It was in the trunk of my car." Sam replies dismissively with a wave of her hand before turning to enter your room. 

You remain where you stand a little frown toying on your lips. What was that about? You thought as you glanced at the doorway to your bedroom, the light being flickered on by Sam.

"I'm just gonna take a shower real quick then I can eat dinner and we can watch some movies?" You hear Sam yell from your room also hearing the erratic movement from her as you walk closer.

Leaning on the doorway you see Sam placing her phone, car keys and work badge on the dresser. 

"Want me to reheat your food for you?" You suggest with a smile. Sam nodded her head as she turned to face you, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead this time as she whispered, "I love you so much." before passing you and locking herself in the bathroom. 

A few moments later you hear the loud sound of the shower water hitting the bottom of the tub before it gets muffled by Sam entering the shower.

Against your better judgement you glance back into the room where Sam's phone is kept, the desperate urge to check it gnawing at you. 

You didn't want to snoop through it, no, you just wanted to see if she was lying or not. Which you basically already knew she was. 

You glance back at the bathroom door before rushing into the room to look at Sam's phone.

Reaching the drawer you picked up her phone and to your horror the movement of you picking it up lights the screen up. 


Sam's phone wasn't dead.

She lied to you. 

Sam wouldn't cheat on you, right? No, Sam would never. She loves you too much for that. 

Right?

Shaking your head in hopes of getting rid of those thoughts you place Sam's phone back into its original position, staring at it before leaving the room to reheat Sam's plate of food.

You trust Sam with your life and more and don't believe she's cheating on you since she's already quite possessive and protective of you after Ghostface. 

After placing the plate into the microwave you move back into the living room, dropping down onto the couch with a sigh as you wrap your fingers around the TV remote, pressing the on button.

The TV started up and immediately you were introduced to the loud male voice of the news reporter. You pulled out your phone and didn't pay much attention till you heard him utter a line that made your blood run cold.

"-two male victims stabbed to death near Parker Street, the police have no lead suspects as of now but a CCTV footage has been leaked showing the brutal murder and the killer wearing the infamous Ghostface costume."

Your eyes widened as you slowly lowered your phone, pushing yourself up the couch as you straightened your posture.  

Ghostface is back? It doesn't help that Parker street, that's the street where the bar Sam works at is at. 

"Sam!" You yelled and panicked as your eyes remained focused on the screen.

You could hear the shower stopping before moments later the door the bathroom being thrown opened and Sam rushes into the living room soaking wet with a towel wrapped around her body.

"What's wrong?" Your girlfriend asked as she moved to your side, holding your face with a possessive grip as she turned it to the side to see if you were hurt. 

You shake your head making her let go and nod towards the TV, Sam takes your hint and turns to focus on the screen.

She's silent for a moment, her breathing eerily calm as her eyes meet with yours.

"Ghostface is gone, we don't have to worry." She says as her hand glides into yours. 

Your brows furrowed in confusion as this is a total 180 reaction to how she reacted last time when Tara's classmate was murdered, and it wasn't even confirmed it was Ghostface at that time.

"Sam, the person was literally wearing a Ghostface outfit and two people were murdered on the same block where you work! This cannot be a coincidence." You rush out as you look down at your phone where it lay on the couch.  "We have to call Tara, Mindy and Chad. I'm not letting you all go through this again." You say as you grab your phone but you're stopped by Sam's hand wrapping around your wrist.

Looking up at her confused you see a blank expression on her face, not a panicked look you expected to see. 

"This is not our Ghostface, Y/n, calm down, please." Sam replies, moving her hand to interlock with yours with a tight grip.

Your jaw slackens as the crease between your brows gets even bigger. 

"A dude in a Ghostface outfit killed two people near where you work, Sam!" You insist on trying to make Sam notice how dire this situation is.

She shakes her head as she shuffles a bit closer, the droplets falling off of her and a few dropping onto you. 

"My Ghostface doesn't do random public killing, this is very out of character. It's probably just some psycho who's using it as a disguise, Y/n. It's fine. I'm safe, Tara's safe, the twins are safe and you're safe." You're speechless at Sam's smooth words, never hearing her so calm and confident. 

Last year she threatened to move countries instantly when it wasn't even confirmed it was about them. 

You let out a humourless chuckle as you shake your head. "And what did Mindy say when Tara was acting like you right now last year? It's a bit too close to home." 

Sam shakes her own head as she flashes a smile that never fails to make your heart skip a beat. "You trust me, don't you?" 

You let out a barely audible scoff as you nod your head at the question as if it was a stupid question to ask.

"With my life and more Sam." Sam's smile softens as she nods her head gently, as if knowing what you were going to say.

"So trust me on this, my love." She whispers, raising her wet hand to lay on your cheek lovingly. "Please." She adds in a whisper as her thumb runs up and down your cheek slowly. 

You maintain eye contact with Sam as you begin to feel yourself getting lost in her dark brown eyes, unconsciously nodding your head slowly.

Sighing you snap out of your trance as you smile weakly at her, squeezing your interlocked hands. 

"I trust you." 

—————

A few days have passed and the only person other than you who's showing concern over the murders is surprisingly Tara. The girl who was very adamant last year that this almost exact scenario wasn't related to them in any way.

You've been texting her non stop about your worries about the entire situation but you haven't said anything about your concerns about Sam. 

She lied to you, sure it was something very niche but with the timing of the murders; something just felt off. 

You have also noticed that Sam has been even more loving lately, not that she isn't always wonderful to you, but it's more than usual. 

You love the attention but you still can't help but feel that there's something wrong. 

It's a Saturday night and Sam's working the night shift again, you're not doing anything special so you decided to sleep in early. 

It's around two in the morning when you get awakened by a slam of the door, it immediately sprung you out of sleep since you've always been a light sleeper since the entire Ghostface incident. 

You rub your eyes as you slowly sit up, glancing around the room and notice Sam isn't in bed. 

Concern runs through your veins immediately as you push yourself off the bed to stand up, your feet hurting the cold floor as you move towards the door. Is it a complete dumb move to investigate the random loud noise? Yes, absolutely. But you can't help but think it's most likely Sam and maybe she's having another one of her attacks. 

"Sam?" You yell out softly as you open the door and glance around your small apartment, squinting your eyes to see better in the dark.

There's no sign of Sam but then you notice the light peeking through the bottom of the bathroom door. You definitely didn't leave the bathroom light on.

You head towards the bathroom door and go to open it but it's locked, you frown as your concern grows.

"Sam? Are you there?" You ask as you keep trying to unlock the door but to no use. 

A muffled grunt is heard through the door before you hear Sam's raspy voice. 

"Go back to bed, Y/n, I'll join you soon." Sam's muffled voice says as another low grunt is heard. That doesn't help your nerves at all.

You can feel your heart pick up a pace as you desperately keep trying to unlock the door.

"Open the door, Sam, please." You beg as you keep trying to open the door, shaking the doorknobs desperately. 

"No." Sam says sternly, making you shake your head at her stubbornness. "Sam if you don't unlock this door I swear I'll kick it down. Please open the door."

"No I-" Sam goes silent for a moment before continuing her words. "You can't see me like this, you'll leave me." 

"Sam I love you more than anything in this world, if you're hurt I want to see you and help you. Please." You say sincerely as you still your moments on trying to open the door, trying to show Sam how much you care for her. 

She doesn't say anything for what feels like an eternity, your fear growing with each passing second as you swallow nervously. 

Then you hear it, the door unlocking but Sam doesn't open it for you. Immediately you throw the door open and scan your eyes to find Sam sitting on the edge of the bathtub wearing her usual grey tank top, tight black cargos and thick black boots with bruises and a singular stab wound on her arms.

Your breath hitches as your eyes widen dramatically, your fear about Ghostface attacking Sam again being confirmed. 

Sam refuses to make eye contact with you as she sloppily tries to patch herself up, wrapping a bandage around below her shoulder that's already staining with a ruby red shade.

"Let me help." You whisper as you move to stand in front of her knowing in the frenzied state Sam is in she wouldn't tend her wounds properly.

She finally looks up at you and you notice the look of pure fear in her eyes, it breaks your heart. 

Sam stiffly nods her head as she lets go of the dirty bandage and lets it fall gracefully onto the floor. 

You don't take notice of anything else around you as your entire focus is only on your bleeding girlfriend. 

As you focus on the slash below her shoulder you see that she's sterilised it and only needs help with bandaging it up.

You grab a new roll and gently hold onto her elbow for a grip as you begin to tightly wrap the bandage around her wound.

As you keep wrapping enough layers around your eye's unconsciously flicker over to the bathtub, and the moment you see the objects scattered inside you feel your heart drop.

A bloodied knife is peeking out through a thick pile of black which almost looks like a blanket but that isn't what catches your attention. The bloodied Ghostface mask thrown carelessly near what you presume is the cloak is what makes your heart come back to life and rapidly speeds up. 

Suddenly everything makes sense.

The lie about her phone being dead when it wasn't, coming home late and the very calm reaction to the murders.

Sam wasn't attacked by the Ghostface on the news; Sam is Ghostface. 

You can pull your eyes away from the hollow eyes of the Ghostface mask as you keep bandaging Sam's stab wound up, the feeling of shame making your throat tighten. 

Not ashamed of Sam but the fact you don't immediately want to run away. Call the cops or even scream. Instead you stand there as you treated her wound. 

"That's enough layers, Y/n." Sam's quiet voice breaks you out of your stare as you avert your eyes back to hers, stilling your hands as you lock with her brown eyes.

Oh those big brown eyes. 

Grief swirls around in her eyes as if she's already grieving your relationship; grieving her life. 

You take a deep breath as a shaky smile slowly forms on your lips making Sam's eyebrows scrunched together confused. 

"I'll never stop loving you." You whisper to her as you finish bandaging her wound up, dropping your hand from her elbow to place on her cheek. 

Sam leans into your touch laying her own cold hand over yours, looking up at you with a softer gleam in her eyes. 

"I'm not a bad person, I only hurt bad people I promise." Sam whispers in a gravelly voice. You feel some reassurance from that but what shocks you the most is the fact you're not sure if you wouldn't have minded if they were bad or not. 

Would it be a sin if you stayed with her? Probably. But killing is most definitely a bigger sin which only makes you think of one thing. 


You and her will still be together in the afterlife. 

"Let's go to bed, my love." You whisper as you offer Sam your free hand to take to help stand up. 

Sam stares at it for a moment before she complies and slides her hand into your hand, a small smile grazing her lips. 

Everyone has their secrets and who are you to share them with?

—————

authors note: i'd do anything for sam (i hate this so fucking much)

[ashen-char]

i feel like max would totally freak out during her first gay awakening like... she's always been in heterosexual relationships (+with guys who didn't treat her well btw) so she would totally panic bcs?? she's always thought of herself as straight and suddenly she starts feeling something for a girl?

she would totally blush at a compliment or just simply bcs of the proximity of her girl crush around, although i think she wouldn't be straightforward and confess her feelings bcs well... it's max.

she would either ignore those feelings and try to move on (while ignoring the girl and hurting her by distancing herself) or she'd talk to frankie or sam about it (and they would support her 100%!!)

i feel like frankie and duke would tease her about it, tho. sam would totally be surprised at max's confession but would have a serious talk about it, saying how she's proud of her and would support her no matter if she was gay or not. i think that rich would also play an important role in here since he's always been like a "dad" to sam's kids (and don't forget how important his character was in the last season!!🤠) but also bcs he's gay himself and he would give max some advice, tell her his journey with his own sexual orientation and feel proud of her. i feel like her real dad would have some "but's" if he ever found out about it (idk he just looks like a total homophobe to me lol + considering how bad of a dad/ex husband he is since he always fucks something up). max would be hesitant about telling him about it, tho. knowing how he always lets everyone down i wouldn't even be surprised if she wouldnt tell him.

um, what else... i think max would totally be into rainbow stuff. yk, rainbow hats, rainbow umbrellas, bracelets, socks(😭) anything that reminds her of gay pride. i feel like she would be bisexual/lesbian (i'm a lesbian myself so obv max being a lesbian would be so 🥰🥰) but yeah she would totally have a lot of things in her room that have colors of her flag AND obv she would put a big ass pride flag above her bed. idk the thought of it just makes me happy 😭🤞🏻💞

thank u for listening to my ted talk . i'd love to see more similar stuff to this written by you on ur page and i hope you're doing ok <3 ^__^ i love ur works!!

long ask/response so read more below

oh god, max would be so confused at first. after a few times hanging out, max would catch herself flirting and realise that she's not even joking. that she wants to be around you way more than normal, in a way that's different than being comfortable with her other friends. because being around you doesn't make her comfortable! she feels really awkward and her heartbeat gets all funny and she worries about screwing up her words when she doesn't usually give a fuck about what others think. max finds herself worrying about what you're up to, if you laugh at her jokes, if you'll think what she's wearing is pretty. if you think she's pretty.

honestly, she doesn't even care about the guys she dates as much. there's so many times where max basically uses them as a prop, makes out with them because they're there and talks about them like they're not there. so it's even more confusing to name these feelings because it's completely not like her. and yeah, that feeling of being unsure would make her push you away. but feeling empty without you being near her would slowly eat at max's resolve, and she'd go to the people in her life who always help her figure stuff out.

when max talks about it to sam, sam helps in that half-cringe but very thoughtful way she always does. she'd tell max about a woman who tried pursuing her, mer (in season 3, i think? when max was in chicago for college iirc). frankie would probably walk in during this conversation, and max would be annoyed at both of them—sam for being gross and telling her about someone pursuing her (ew, no one wants to hear about that from their mom) and frankie for being so nosy—but max would eventually settle down and listen.

sam would tell max that whatever she's feeling is great, that the only thing that max might regret is not exploring these feelings and figuring herself out a little more. frankie would say something about how it's fine to not know what you are and just see how it fits and how you feel, relating it to how non-linear their discovery of their gender identity was. frankie would help her realise that everyone's story isn't the same, as frankie tells her these stories about their other LGBT friends. some people feel like they've always known and some people go so long but then have a sudden realisation, like max, but that's all valid and normal. but yes duke and frankie would totally make fun of max for freaking out and acting like this over a crush at her big age.

especially with rich and the other trusted adults in max's life (like phil who would be so happy for max too, and ask all about you), max doesn't need to tell xander about it! his absence in their lives means that he doesn't get to know the real them until he shows an interest in knowing them. if he doesn't act like a dad then he doesn't get to be one, yknow?

when sudden awakenings happen and you reflect on your past, it's funny to see what you've missed. max would look back and think 'shit, i totally had a crush on shego' or something as she looks back at her cartoon crushes. even super close friendships she had growing up, max will realise 'hey maybe it wasn't het of me that i wanted to impress her that bad' or 'wow, i was really jealous when she got a boyfriend'.

ultimately when max accepts that her identity is actually an exciting thing that she gets to discover about herself, she would adore pride. i think learning about the history, the many struggles it took to get this far, and the support of the community is bolstering for any baby gay. but especially with how sam talks to them about feminism and to be proud to be women, it'd be something max thrives in. figuring out whether she identifies as bi or pan or even a lesbian is something that she knows will come in time - for now, she'll be overwhelmed with the love and support she has from the people around her, and a new community with people just like her. (i think max would find the lesbian flag super pretty)

*insert max doing an 'am i gay quiz' nick from heartstopper-style*

thank you for the ask! i love these ted talks!! people loving these characters gives me so much motivation to write em, seriously.

[barkspawn]

If you’re still doing one shot requests, could you do one for Sebastian? This is so specific, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but maybe something based around his opening sentiment of “you’re new? Why would you choose Pelican Town, of all places?” (Obvi not his exact wording, but you get it)

I think I’m projecting because I’ve found myself careening towards a similar situation as our dear farmer lol. But I think it’d be interesting nonetheless.

*also sorry for any poor English, it is not my first language >_>

It's weird. I feel like Its been 20 years lol

There's a weird space that just wants to drink my tears

Thanks again for your patience. I hope you enjoy 💜

Amelia had spent the entire week meeting mostly everyone. The only person she knew that she was missing was Robin’s son Sebastian.

He apparently hardly ever left his room except to smoke or go to the saloon on Fridays with Sam and Abigail.

Amelia went to the mines on Friday this time. She'd had a particularly difficult morning and decided to go to the mines for some ore.

Unfortunately for her, the monsters were a little extra feisty tonight. She'd eaten probably five field snacks and it was getting late anyway.

She leans against the wall in the elevator, holding her shirt to the bleeding cut on her forehead. Thankfully, she layered a camisole under her shirt for warmth in the mines. She sighed as she walked out of the entrance, her backpack slung over her shoulder.

As she crossed the footbridge, heading to make her way to the mountain path. She walked down, shifting to adjust her backpack, dropping with a yell as a figure by the lake startled her.

“Shit,” she mumbled as she realized she had to pick up a bunch of stuff, “you scared the hell out of me.”

She hadn't even seen who was there, figuring it was Linus. When she looked up, she saw a taller guy who had longer dark hair, paired with all dark clothes.

“Oh, sorry. I didn't know… Well, this is a great first impression. I'd shake your hand but, well, mud and blood.”

“Uh, do you need help or something? I can call Harvey if–”

“No, no. Sorry. Let me start over. I'm coming from the mines, where I seem to have gotten a little in over my head.”

The man failed to suppress a smirk, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette upwards, “I see that. I'm Sebastian.”

“Well, hello Sebastian. I'm Amelia.”

“Oh. You just moved in, right? Cool.”

She laughed quietly, nodding, “that's a word for it.”

He gave a small nod, his eyebrows raised, “okay, I've got to ask. Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

“It sounds like someone isn't the biggest fan of life here,” she laughed, shifting to adjust the cloth on her head, “it was my grandfather's farm. He died and left it to me a long time ago apparently. I lived in Zuzu… Well, it's a long story.”

He seemed to perk up at the mention of Zuzu, “what was it like living there?”

She offered a small smile, joking, “depends. Do you have an hour?”

“Well, yeah,” he responded, serious. She watched him turn to lean against the tree nearby, “I'm not asking you for personal info… I just like the idea of living there, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. But honestly? It wasn't everything I wanted it to be. I'm, well, I like to keep to myself. I thought moving to the city would be great for my independence and I could just… Have my own space.”

Sebastian nodded, like everything she was saying made perfect sense. He was listening rather intently, “sounds perfect. Why would you leave?”

“Because it ended up being overwhelming. I had a shit job because I couldn't find any that suited what I wanted to do. Rent is fucking expensive. I had to stay with two roommates and still pay 1000 gold monthly. Note that roommates are definitely not helpful if you want to be independent. It also doesn't help if the jobs pay like shit.”

Sebastian frowned, considering, “yeah, but you're still on your own. With all of those people you just blend into the crowd. I'm sure if you look hard enough you can find a studio apartment for relatively cheap.”

“I wish I could say you're right,” she sighed, pulling the shirt from her face as it was thankfully hardly bleeding now. Sebastian gave her a look as if pointing out how she looks like hell, “I'm good. Listen, if you find an apartment for that cost, you're going to be in a bad area or have to use communal bathrooms. Trust me, neither situation is worth it.” she watched as Sebastian frowned, “also, I'm sorry but that's not what being in a crowd does. In my experience, being around all of those people is terrifying. You don't know who is judging you or if someone is going to hurt or steal from you. I also just don't like being in crowds and being touched by strangers.”

There was a long pause as Sebastian lit another cigarette. He never really chain-smoked, but somehow he needed another tonight.

“That's perfectly reassuring, thanks,” Sebastian deadpanned after a long drag.

“Hey, I'm not trying to piss in your cereal or anything. I just know how it is to want something so badly that I ignore the bad.”

His eyebrow arched, a small smirk growing as she spoke. He was going to stress about Zuzu now and it's not like he could move right now anyway. So, he avoided the topic.

“Piss in my cereal?”

“You know, like ruin your day or whatever.”

“‘Piss in your cereal’ is definitely more interesting.”

Amelia laughed and shook her head looking over at him, “you know Sam warned me you'd make fun of me if you thought I was cool.”

Sebastian’s smile fell, “Sam is such an asshole,” he sighed.

Amelia laughed and held the shirt to her head again, “pleasure meeting you, Sebastian.”

She turned and gathered her backpack, hoisting it over her shoulder. She heard him mumble something, likely still embarrassed about Sam’s comment.

“Oh, and Sebastian?”

He turned, eyebrows raised, “what's up?”

“My experience in Zuzu doesn't mean yours will be the same. If you have any questions or want advice, you know where my farm is… I think.”

Sebastian paused for a long moment, “thanks, Amelia. I guess you're cool.”

She laughed and turned to leave, “thank Yoba.”

[krikeymate]

Sam snaps. She can't take Tara's arguing anymore. Why does she always have to make things difficult? All Sam has ever tried to do is protect her, to look after her, but Tara has only ever fought back against it.

"Why can't you just be grateful for ONCE in your life? I am trying to keep you safe - keep you ALIVE."

Doesn't she trust Sam to make the right decisions, to keep her safe?

"Why do you always insist on being so difficult!"

Difficult. Oh, that was the wrong word to use. She knew it the moment it escaped her.

Tara's mouth clicks shut in an instant. She's been called difficult all her life. By her mother, her father, her teachers. Even the staff at the hospital. Tara was always a difficult patient. It weighed on her, Sam knew. Tara thought if she was good, if she was quiet and agreeable and never argued back, that people would stop thinking she's difficult.

It never worked, never made a lick of difference.

But Sam has never treated her like she was difficult, even at her worst. She'd always maintained that Tara was good, and easy to love, that she wasn't the problem.

That must of all been a lie, Tara thinks in that moment.

Sam feels physically pained by the expression on Tara's face as she takes a step back, as if she can't bear to be near her sister any longer. The betrayal is stark.

Tara shakes her head and fails to find her words.

Sam tries to find her own.

"Tara, look, I'm sorry - that came out wrong. I didn't mean- I... I'm just scared, ok. I don't know how to find this Ghostface and keep everyone safe and I just... it's hard, ok. Please don't make this any harder."

They were the wrong words to say.

Tara's face hardens and nods her head, scoffing.

"Right. Well I guess I'll make it easier for you then, since it's so hard to accept that maybe you're not the only one involved, the only one who can protect people or take down Ghostface-"

"That's not what I said!"

"But it's what you THINK, isn't it, Sam? You think you're the center of the universe, that everything revolves around you and every bad thing is your fault. Well guess what Sam, you're not that special, and you're not the only person in the world who can help."

Sam wants to interject, to tell her she's wrong, but her words cut through her like a knife. It's not... right, is it? No, no, that's not- that's not what this is about. Or- maybe- fuck. Tara's always been able to see right through her, she knows things about Sam that Sam has never even known about herself.

Just like she can see the hurt shining through the anger in her sister's eyes. Fuck, she's still talking.

"-But hey, I'll make it easier for you. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Good luck saving the world or whatever."

Tara's spinning on her heels and heading for the door before the words even register.

"Wait, what- Tara! It isn't safe! Tara? Get the FUCK back here!"

SHIT, Sam mutters under her breath, sprinting for the door. Like fuck is she letting her little sister disappear into the night when there's a fucking Ghostface on the loose. She'll drag her back here herself if she has to.

(She doesn't find her).

had a thought today! say hello to my big boy vocabulary again!

You know what we need in Scream 7? Sam YELLING at Tara. I don’t mean like merely raising her voice— I mean like Hereditary “DON’T YOU EVER SWEAR AT ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” levels.

Not because I want to see Tara get her ass chewed; not at all. I want to see Sam so, so guilty for breaking under all the stress, and fearing Tara’s scared of her.

I feel like it’d be interesting because Sam and Tara’s relationship could have such a trouble and use it as a GREAT plot device. Like the whole “You need to let me go” shenanigans in Scream 6, just different.

[wandanatsbaby]

The Witch or Assassin

You had known Wanda since you were both kids. You had also been in love with her since you were 11. But now she's with Vision. Will you two ever be together or will someone else take your heart instead?

Warnings ⚠️: Cursing, teasing, dirty talk

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Little!read. Natasha Romanoff x Little!reader

Word count: 1,028

Part 2 | Part 3

--------

°~° means switching POV

It pained you to see Wanda with Vision but there wasn't anything you could do. You were in love with her and she chose a fucking toaster over you.

You liked seeing her happy but you wished it was with you. You wished a lot of things she did with him was you. You wanted to feel her lips against yours not including that one truth or dare you wanted to be the one she was head over heels in love with. But it wasn't. And no matter how much that hurt you had to accept it. 

She had a bond with him though. A bond that you didn't. And it was all thanks to the little stone that powered the damn microwave. Sometimes you wished You could rip the stone out of his head but that wouldn't get you anywhere. 

Wanda liked to show him off everywhere she went. Grocery shopping? Shows him off. Mall? Shows him off. It's annoying. God you wanted her to love you so bad. It got to the point to where you refused to go anywhere with her. 

Luckily Nat was more than happy to spend her free time with you. During movie nights you would sit at the end of the couch and she would make sure to sit right next to you. If you got tired during the movie she'd let you cuddle up to her and lay your head on her shoulder. 

Bucky had known about you crush on the witch but he also saw how close you and Natasha are. He would continuously ask you questions and tease you when you where around Nat but you would always deny. How could he even think that? It was obvious you were in love with Wanda but you couldn't deny how your heart would beat faster around Nat. 

-----------------------------------

While you were busy pinning over Wanda Natasha was falling in love with you. She loved the way you would bury your face into her chest during a scary movie or how you would smile and laugh at every joke Sam told to make him feel better. Not to mention that you were the only one allowed to call her "Natty" if anyone else tried she'd kill them. 

The team watched as this was all happening. They were very confused. Tony and Peter had bet that you and Wanda would end up happening while everyone else (excluding you, Wanda, and Natasha) said that you and Nat would end up together. 

°~°

It was movie night tonight. I really didn't want to go but Nat litterly dragged me to the movie room. There was only one spot left on the couch though. 

"I'll sit on the floor." Nat looked at me before shaking her head. Then she pulled me over to the couch. She sat down then pulled me down onto her lap. This was not what I was expecting. I looked over at Wanda and saw her glaring at Nat. Maybe I could make her jealous.

I smiled at Nat while laying my head on her shoulder while her hand was around my waist. 

"How's this?" She whispered while using her other hand to push hair out of my face.

"Good. Thank you Natty." She seem d to smile wider at the nickname and I couldn't help but think how amazing her smile is. 

Just as I was thinking this I heard something drop causing a loud noise and me to jump.

"It was just Wanda, baby. It's alright." I blushed hard at the nickname. 

I heard moving and then someone call my name.

"Y/n/n, there's a seat right here. Now you don't have to sit on her lap." She growled like when she said her. I saw Nat frown before tightening her grip on me.

"I think she's fine right here, Wanda."

"She can make her own decisions, Widow." Before Nat could say anything back I decided to interrupt.

"Thank you Wanda but I'm fine. Natty's really warm and I'm cold." Look I may not be cold but Nat is warm and I'm really comfortable.

Wanda huffs but doesn't say anything else and Nat smirks in victory. 

Everyone just stares for a second before Tony speaks up.

"Alright what movie we watching tonight?" 

"Annabelle." Nat says while I shake my head.

"No. No. No. No. No creepy dolls that kill you. No thank you. Nuh uh." Thor, Steve, and bucky laugh while vision mutters something I can't understand. 

"Don't worry I'll protect you, printessa." I burry my head further into nats should so that none sees my blush.

"Fine" I huff out and she laughs. 

"Annabelle it is." He starts the movie. I don't really watch it though. I either keep my head burried I'm Nats shoulder or I look at her without her noticing.

Though I'm not as sneaky as I thought and I quickly learn that when Nats looks down at me.

"You know it's rude to stare." She whisperes teasingly.

"Sorry." I squeak while looking away at her.

"Oh no. Don't look away, Dove. I don't mind. I find it cute." She smirks as she sees my cheeks redden impossibly more. "You know your cute when your all embarrassed." 

"Stop." I whine while pouting at her.

"What? Can my little dove not handle my teasing?" I roll my eyes at her but that makes her smirk fall. She harshly grabs my throat making me look straight at her. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, little one. I don't want to have to punish you." My eyes widen as I clench my thighs together. Her smirk returns and she lets go of my neck before sitting back. She looks at the TV a smirk still plastered on her face while I continue to stare at her wide eyed.

Did she really just say she would punish me? Not only that but why did it turn me on. God I'm a sucker for powerful women. I groan quietly but cuddle back into Nat trying to forget about what she said and the tingling from between my legs. 

This is gonna be a long night.

[satans-left-asscheeky]

Yet another teenage sole ask because yeah- So, assuming that Nate/Nora would be a single parent to a teenage sole, how would the companions react to teen sole veeeery hesitantly asking them to help bury their parent? (And also being hit like a truck with the realization that the corn flakes asshole forced this kid to watch their mom/dad die…)

Okay this is so freaking sad.... It's okay I didn't cry reading and writing this... it's fine.

no but seriously though this ask is really good! thanks for the ask 💖

Maccready

"I- yeah I'll help you..."

He'd feel devastated for them. He never know what it was like to have a parent who loved him, but he can't imagine having it and then it being torn away. They were only barely older than Duncan... it really put into perspective how much he needed to make it home to his boy. And he'd be damned if he didn't bring sole with him. He'd definitely adopt them and care for them as if they were his own. They kinda reminded him of batman in a way. Watching something so awful, and becoming so strong after... he'd let them know that he thought they were a superhero and how proud he was of them.

Hancock

"Christ.... What do you need me to do?"

He hate the fucking bastard that did this to them. No kid deserved to burry their own parent especially not sole. They'd never been anything but kind to everyone even though they had the weight of the world on their shoulders at such a young age. If Kellogg wasn't all ready dead he sure as hell was about to be

Cait

"Shite... Ya sure ya want me to help ya with this?"

It's not that she doesn't care or even that she doesn't want to help she just does not feel qualified... I mean if the kid only knew what she did to her own parents... no way she should be helping burry somebody else's.

Danse

"I- Im sorry for your loss... of course I'll help you"

He'd never had parents or anyone to love him, but he knew what the loss of Cutler did to him. This child was asking him to help them with something so important? He knew he definitely didn't feel like he deserved it, but he would help them with no complaint. He never had been good with words but he offered them a shoulder to cry on. Once the kid was done sobbing he'd take them back to the Cambridge to see haylin... she'd know what to say.

Curie

"Oh madame/monsieur I am so sorry for your loss..."

She rembered how she felt watching all of her friends die off one by one in the vault when she wasn't able to do anything, and she can't imagine what sole feels. She'd stay with them after the burial to make sure they were okay.... But really she had no clue how to help beyond just being there.

Deacon

"...."

He'd silently help the kid burry their parent. He wouldn't know what to do or say in this situation. Usually he has a quip or joke to diffuse any situation, but this? he had no idea what to do. It was times like these he wishes Barbra was still around because she'd know exactly what to say... Then again Barbara would probably kick him if she knew of all the things he'd dome since her passing... God he can't imagine what the kid must be feeling. This would be one of the rare times he'd remove his shades and let sole see his eyes. he'd take the kid by the shoulders and tell them how proud he is of them and how proud their parent would be if they could see them. He wasn't sure if what he was doing was right until the kid wrapped their arms around him and refused to let go until they both felt better. It was in that moment he knew even if Barbara wasn't around to see it that had indeed has the kid they'd always wanted.

Piper

"Oh god Blue...."

She'd be fighting the urge to sob from the second the kid asked her to help. She rembered what it felt like when Nat and her become orphans and she wouldn't wish it apon anyone, but at least they had eachother sole was alone.... She try her best to be there for them and support them but she knew she could never replace what they had lost... God she knew it all to well, but she'd be damned if she didn't try to take care of them the same way she took care of Nat.

Nick

"I'm right here kid. Just tell me what you need me to do...."

The institute had always been sick. He'd known that since he'd first woke up in the post apocalyptic America, but this? This was beyond evil. Beyond depraved. His blood boiled in a way he didn't even know was possible. How could anyone hurt a child like this? Once him and sole had finished burying their late parent he'd carry them back to his office wrapped up in his coat. Once he was sure they were asleep he'd talk to Ellie and try to come up with a plan to kill the sick son of a bitch who was responsible for this.

Preston

"Oh god..... I'm so sorry sole...."

He'd lossed so many friends. Practically everyone he'd ever known was gone, so he knew how sole felt. He knew words could never do justice to how they were feeling, and he knew nothing could ever make it better. He wished like hell he could trade places with the kid, because he would in a heartbeat. No child should know what it's like to bury their parent. No one should watch their parent die. He hated the world he lived in more and more everyday and sometimes he wondered if it was worth saving, but when he saw soles eyes light up with relief when he said he'd help them he'd rember why he does what he does. To help build a commonwealth where no one ever had to experience what this poor child was. He'd look after the kid like they were his own after that and very rarely leave their side.

X6-88

"Of course sir/ma'am"

He'd read the reports. he knew what Kellogg had done and he truly wondered why he was still aloud to operate on behalf of the institute. They had coursers to handle things... he was just a lose end, one he fully intended on fixing even if it meant he'd be reset.

[doomdays]

it makes sam sad to see her like this, and if they'd been the kind of friends to share any sort of physical affection, she'd pull her into her arms now. she's not sure they're that kind of friends, but she moves closer anyway, hoping that mikayla will lean on her if she needs to turn to someone other than herself. ❝  never? ❞ she asks, her voice soft, because she knows it's complicated and she knows that the likely answer mikayla has is that it really is never. sam has said the same thing to herself before, but she knows she's better off allowing herself what she wants, what she needs --- no matter how hard the journey there may be. their situations aren't the same, but she still hopes she can do something for her.

❝ mikayla--- i'm older than you, and i don't even know what the hell my future is. i never have. even moving here, i . . . i didn't know what i was supposed to do. i just knew i had to be there for tara. ❞ and she remembers what she said to her, how she called her out for not trying to find a life of her own. she took those words to heart, and she's trying to find her purpose now, but it is hard. ❝  my point is, i guess, you don't have to have it figured out yet. and i know that tai may have her shit together -- or, thinks she does, whatever -- but that doesn't mean she'd expect her partner to, too. ❞ and sam doesn't know that for sure, but it's something.

she leans back, a small smile on her face because this is something she can actually help with, she thinks. ❝  yeah. i was terrified. after what happened-- ❞ always easier to say that, instead of richie's name, ❝  i didn't think i could be in a relationship again. and, honestly, i was embarrassed to try, too. something about danny . . . i don't know. we hit it off quickly, and he didn't know who i was, and i liked that. i liked getting to be a fucking stranger to someone again. ❞ she's never really told anyone this, but if it's for the benefit of helping mikayla, she can be as open as she needs. ❝  it was just supposed to be physical. you know, a distraction. one good thing to look forward to. to keep me busy. to-- leave tara alone every once in a while, like she wanted. i guess it kind of got more serious than i expected it to. which only scared me more, ❞ she admits, biting down on her lip for a moment as she thinks it over. ❝  it came down to--- i guess, knowing that if i didn't really take a chance on him, i was just holding myself back from something that could be really good for me. danny, he's stable. he's solid. and i'm tired of holding myself back from things i want. i spent too long doing that because i thought i had to. it sucks, mikayla. i know you know that too. ❞

her expression is pained, because she can't see how it does matter. frustrated, her head falls into her hands, fingers tangling into her hair as she shakes her head. “it doesn't. because i won't let myself have it.” admitting what she wants isn't simple, either—just the thought of admitting to tai how she feels triggers a wave of anxiety to wash over her, not only out of fear of rejection, but because once the words leave her mouth, there will be no taking it back.

mikayla's laugh is bitter and dismissive, her hands falling from her face as she straightens up. “she wants someone out of the closet, probably.” the answer is no, she hasn't figured it out, too terrified of the chance that the answer isn't her. rejection isn't something she's accustomed to dealing with, always being the one to break hearts, not the other way around. “or someone with an actual future. i don't know.” mikayla's not sure if she has one, knowing all too well that demigods tend to have a short lifespan, killed before they even reach the age of twenty-five, if they're lucky enough to survive that long. sam might be able to understand that, the threat of death, but it's not something she can bring up. she's not sure why she's even entertaining the thought of trying, knowing she's not ready, not without a real push, but she sighs, “how'd you do it with danny? obviously you were scared, right? so—how?”

[deans-baby-momma]

The Story of Us-Chapter 17

A/N: This is a rewrite of a story my good friend @spnbaby-67 allowed me to take and rewrite. All mistakes are mine. This is canon divergent, meaning some things that happened in the show will still happen here but with my own twist to it.

Summary: She and Dean met when they were kids. Even at such a young age, she knew that he was her soulmate. Being the daughter of a hunter, Michaela (Micki) Singer knew the life he led came with a price, but she was up to the challenge.

Pairings: Dean Winchester/reader, Sam Winchester/friend!reader, John Winchester, Mary Winchester (mentioned only), Bobby Singer

Warnings: Flashbacks are in italics, fluffy stuff, angst stuff, character death, kidnapping, depression, semi-dark themes

Present Day (2008)

"You did what?!"

"Listen, I'm not proud of it, okay? Believe me, if I could take it back I would," Sam defends. "I can't unsee it though. As much as I want," he ends in a whisper.

"But, you saw," Dean says as he gestures a circle in front of his groin. "Her….her….her vagina!"

"I told you I didn't mean to. It just, my eyes seemed to have a mind of their own ."

"Does she know?" Dean inquires.

Sam shakes his head. "No. She was captivated by Maren. And I never said a word. Until now."

Silence fills the room then Dean smiles and looks at his brother with arrogance. "It's a nice one, ain't it?" 

"DUDE!" Sam exclaims in horror then shrugs. "Couldn't really tell. It was kinda messy."

"I'm too old for this," Bobby mutters putting his head in his hands.

"Anyway, aren't you supposed to be getting Maren a bottle?" Sam asks and Dean jumps into action, going into the kitchen to make up a bottle.

On his way back through, Dean pointed a finger at Sam and then Bobby and states, "This stays between us, you hear me? Micki doesn't need to know what happened."

Both men nod in agreement and Dean heads back to his girls.

"Baby?" Dean says to Micki as she feeds their daughter. "I didn't know-" he pauses to swallow the emotion welling up in his chest. "I didn't know Maren was so early. Did she have to stay in the hospital? Did you?"

Micki looks from the baby to Dean. "How d-?"

"Sam and your dad told me," he cuts her off answering. "I thought something had gotten ahold of you but they explained that you had worn yourself down with grief. Baby, if I could've stayed, I-"

It was Micki's turn to interrupt. "Dean, as pissed as I was at you when you made that fucking deal, I understood. You had to save Sam. And I never blamed you for dying. Even when we found out I was pregnant when you only had a few months to live. But, damn! It was torture, you not being here. 

"Knowing you were missing all the milestones of my pregnancy, her impending birth, her first word,  first steps. I mourned all the things you were gonna miss. And then, when she arrived. Oh god! As happy as I was at seeing her perfect little face, my heart was breaking because you weren't there."

Tears build up in Dean's eyes but he doesn't wipe them away. Instead he just listens as Micki continues.

"I vowed in that hospital room to be the best mother and father to our little girl I could be. And I was. Sure, Sam was here and helped when I just couldn't but I did my damnedest."

"And almost killed yourself doing it," Dean states as the tears escape and roll down his cheeks. 

"I had no choice," Micki tells him. "Then when the Impala showed up and Sam forced my inside to protect Maren, it just hit. What if e'd made a mistake?  What if something had found you and was using your meatsuit to exact revenge? So as I was standing there, I just let go. I let the exhaustion take over."

"You are the strongest woman I've ever known, Michaela Quinn Singer!" Dean says as he leans over to kiss her lips. "And soon I hope you'll become a Winchester."

Micki smiles against his lips. That is all she'd dreamed of since she was 13 years old.

"Barney, baby."

Micki chuckles and says, "Do you remember when we started that?"

Summer 1997

Dean and Micki had once again snuck off to their spot in the junkyard to make out and fool around while Bobby and John were in the den, studying up for some job and Sam was enthralled in some stupid kid's show with a giant purple dinosaur. 

Dean had once again fingered Micki to orgasm, twice, having paid extra attention to her breasts. Now he was spread out on the back seat of the old car with his pants down around his ankles as Micki bobbed her head in his lap, sucking and licking his shaft and tip.

Her long golden brown hair was pulled up into his fist, keeping it out of the way. "Fuck Mick! Just like that. God, that feels good. Unh, don't stop."

Micki cups his balls in her free hand and squeezing gently, knowing from prior experience that Dean enjoyed that. 

"Shit! Baby, I'm gonna cum."

Micki pulls off his dick long enough to look up at him and smile. "Then cum."

Dean groans as she resumes her task and in no time he is spurting and shooting a load into her warm, wet mouth.

"Damn! That was good."

"Really?"

"Yes baby. You are getting really good at sucking my dick."

Micki smiles up at him and then they get redressed to head back to the house before they are missed.

Walking in, they see that everyone is in the same place they were before. The tv is still on and Sammy is watching intently.

"I love you Barney."  "I love you too Julie."

Music begins and the big, plush, fake dinosaur starts singing.  

"I love you. You love me. We're a happy family."

"Sam, aren't you too old to be watching baby shit. Turn it off," Dean mocks toward Sam.

"Shut up," Sam responds at the same time Micki slaps his shoulder. "Leave him alone."

Later that evening,  Dean and Micki sit outside on the porch swing, holding hands.

"Mick?"

"Yea?"

"We're like that stupid dinosaur."

"Barney? How?"

"Well, I like you and you like me right?"

"Yea," Micki answers, perplexed.

"Listen, I'm not good with this," Dean  says and Micki can see the tip of his ears turn pink. "I Barney you okay?"

Micki realizes the enormity of what Dean just admitted. She smiles and lays her head on his shoulder. "I Barney you too, Dean."

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @maggiegirl17​ @chriszgirl92​

"God we were so cheesy," Micki laughs as she sits up to place Maren on her shoulder to burp.  "But I love it. It's just so us!"

[heleneplays]

You'll remain here (You'll remain dear inside)

LITERALLY FUCK ME I GUESS. SPENT THIS WHOLE DAY DOING NOTHING BUT WRITE FOR THE BLORBOS AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IDC. IT'S WORTH IT. THEY'RE WORTH IT.

anyways this are parts of the besties' pov, because I have unresolved feelings and half baked personifications of them screaming at me to write!!! them!!! down!!! so i am blaming my own issues but also James bc SIR. augh. my love for your goddamn blorbos is terminal and i succumb gladly :(

ok but honestly i was originally just going to write a meta fic of Helene actually becoming a self-aware character, that her choices were all predetermined, that it was a game etc etc on the second part but HEY things happen and next thing i know i wrote like 10k words instead of her choosing to fuck the narrative that good things have a price, and love is always enough in this three (?) part series of the endgame that never is, was, and hopefully never will be!!!!!!

ANYWAYS

forgot to say but stream GODSENT by BEN&BEN LIKE AUGH PLEASE.

again, María x Helene, but arching POVs from Sam, Cleo, Esme, Rémy, Zhu, and Dominique in the start of it all <3

---

Helene died, cradled in María's arms. They saw her breathe her last, focused on nothing but the woman who held her.

Sam almost wants to be bitter at that moment, because she'd gone and left, and her eyes never strayed. She didn't notice anyone else, had no other words to say except for María, and then they remember.

("It's always been her, Sam." She whispers, smiling brokenly as she stares straight ahead.)

So instead, they turn that bitterness into one part grief, nine parts wonder because throughout their adventures, the woman they consider their idol-turned-mentor-turned-friend was still as true to their heart, even in the face of broken dreams of the future, in the face of death.

---

"It feels like i'm playing God, when I hold these things in my hand." She whispers.

Sam remembers the island. Of how the Carxite podium held her, gripped her. The way inhuman rage looked at her, and how she ordered the island's defenses to activate.

Sam remembers the ozone smell, like fresh struck thunder; of vision of half-melted bodies of her enemies, of all the Nazis who set their boots into the shore.

Sam remembers calling out for her, and her cruel reply; remembers the light in her eyes gone, replaced with a dead-eyed imposter in her place sneering with cold contempt.

Of her breaking out of it, as they approached her, and as María, even then, stared at the woman with no ounce of fear.

Then Sam thinks about the silver-eyed goddess who stood in that place just moments ago, radiant with power, untouchable, but alive in the way the first one forgot; of how they snapped their fingers, and used the stone's powers like a familiar extension of their limb—not to kill everyone like she did then—but to delibitate and injure her enemies enough to stop them from interfering.

(Of how María, themselves, Belby, and in extension, the rest of their team shot Heidi Hahn in cold blood as Helene turned her wiles against the slippery snake beforehand.)

And of how they decisively struck down, with no measure of mercy, the other woman who made this endgame happen.

(Because if Sabine Schneider never found about the Archive, never subscribed to the Aryan ideals, never descended into a madness so familiar, then this clash of titans would have perhaps never borne fruit.)

(Atleast, Sam would like to think so.)

---

"Of all the people you included for this deathride of a mission, I didn't think you'd be the one to die, Helene."

---

Cleo looks at the woman she just helped lay down the couch, then towards Esme who was looking at Helene with a curious gaze. She looks as heartbreak settles in the woman's eyes, but not grief. She's seen enough people in the entirety of this war mourn and break into grief, but Esme seems to just breeze past that and go straight to acceptance.

Cleo feels discombobulated.

"It doesn't feel right, no?" The blonde's crisp tone shakes her out of stupor. The woman would be embarassed at being caught staring, but she's kind of past that.

"I don't—I mean, She is—" Cleo starts, trying to give words to her thoughts. Esme understands though.

"The first time I met her, I knew she was a star. She burned so fierce and brightly that day that she and my..." Esme shakes her head, voice pained but a broken smile painting her lips. "the day she and I met. Did you know we met during her dig in Jerusalem in '34? We crossed paths outside the Colony, and I felt something was about to happen after a brief moment our gazes met. Not even 10 minutes later, she was running out the Grand Salon, Nazis on her heels after she pissed them off— Next thing I knew, I was out there with the shattered remains of a pot, saving her from certain death by gunshot after she got herself cornered by one."

"I knew Spillane was a bit of a disaster, but to hear that she's just like that since then—"

"Oh no, don't get me wrong, Helene's a great big daredevil, but I was kind of a foolhardy self-proclaimed adventurer then, dragging Abdul all over the place, then it just clicked, you know? I do so hate bullies, and that day... made things clearer. Somehow."

"I kind of get it. She's a trailblazer, with almost 0 regards to conventional boundaries of society, then she drags you along for the ride."

"I went there willingly, i'll have you know!"

"Oh yeah? Well I was the one dragging her through it first!"

Both women look at each other, and laugh. It's painful, and others would say a touch hysterical, but it's something true, a release.

---

"I did her wrong, kinda a lot. Is it selfish of me to wish she was back, so I can apologize for some of the things I did?"

Esme keeps quiet for a few moments, before she replies.

"Helene got my man killed, you know. In '38, during that quest for that man looking for his ancestor's grave."

Cleo turns to look at her, shocked.

"I'm sorry, that's unkind." Esme sighs, but continues.

"It's just partly her fault. This... cult, they attacked our home because Helene was there, because I missed an adventure and it was a perfect excuse to get to see her. We were down to one floor, trying to survive, and it was a bloodbath, because their members so many, then Sam was clobbered down, and then Helene had to make a choice between me and Abdul."

Cleo wanted to ask so many things, but kept quiet.

"It was a split second, and I saw her looking at Abdul, thinking that my honeybear was going to be the one she saves, because to be quite honest, those two are more alike than I really would like to admit. And I was okay, I was ready for death because I love him, I loved him, I loved Abdul Al-Maliki, and I was alright as long as he lived—"

"But she chose you, instead."

"She did. And I wanted to hate her, because she saved me, instead of him, my light and the reason I loved so freely—And for a while, I did."

A slow smile curls into her face.

"I hated her. For all 10 seconds of it."

Cleo wants to be shocked. But she can't. Helene was, fundamentally, never unlikeable. She may be a clown at times, infuriating and stubborn; but never unlikeable.

(It's like a power of hers, they think. Helene has a great capacity to befriend people, soothe tempers, and charm others.)

(But she also was unflinching, unabashed, and unremorseful, especially against her enemies.)

"Helene has a great capacity for love. I was privelleged to part a small part of her heart, along with Abdul, and it was that part that I think, that gave her the instinct to save me. Love is not quantifiable by any means, but I think, Abdul told her just how far the depths go, and that moment made her choose differently."

Esme clenches her fist.

"I didn't understand then, but looking at how María held her, God, how she broke—She asked for my forgiveness before we left for this, y'know? I said I forgave her then, even if I didn't know why. Because even if his death hurts, he tried, she tried, and that's all I can really ask for."

(Abdul is a kind, good, gentle man. Slow to anger, with an infinite well of love. Helene is a kind, somewhat good, gentle woman. Slow to anger, with an infinite well of love.)

(Demons run when good men go to war.)

(So what would good women make run when they go to war?)

(Everything. Everyone.)

---

"You're right. Helene being dead feels surreal, because she survived far worse things. Most of which were my fault, because I kept omitting parts of the truth."

Cleo says after a while. She closes her eyes, thinking about every adventure she shared with the woman.

New Orleans. Congo. Romita. Kuzco.

All adventures fraught with deep, heavy things. Goddamned Racists, secret Nazis and murderous Natives, a Cannibalist group, and again, even more Nazis, except this time not-so-secret.

"I should be dead, to be honest. All the way back from Congo."

Cleo takes a deep breath.

"Our story starts in New Orleans, like I told you. She invited me to do a guest lecture in her fine, prissy, whites-only college, because she was like that; and we attracted the attention of the local Ku Klux Klan because of it. Things happened, and I dragged her to solve a mystery, we solved it only to get captured; she got lightly tortured for our troubles, almost maimed by a dog and then a croc. Then I invited her to Congo, she accepted, omitted that the jungle locals were growing more agressive, stumbled to a Nazi conspiracy, got captured, AGAIN, almost got branded as slaves, DID work one shift as one, staged a coup, overthrew the local soldier garrison... THEN HAD TO STAGE ANOTHER BATTLE YET AGAIN, but we survived; hell, we lived!"

Her hands shake, imperceptibly.

"We lived because she sent Sam and our guide, Jeff, with me, and she braved the north side alone with her part of the troops until we had to regroup as one, and then she saved me, while I was lying prone on my back, about to get skewered by their bayonets; but there she was, like an avenging little angel, smoking gun being reloaded faster than I could comprehend. And all I did get to say was thanks, because our adventure wasn't done, and after it all she was just—"

Cleo smiles, thinking about the Helene who literally flopped down on a bed and slept 48 hours straight.

"She went straight to sleep, heedless of everything else, didn't she?"

"Yeah."

They both take a second to collect themselves. Then Cleo continues.

"The next time we met was months after that, but she waved me off, getting me a drink 'til we went home drunk, and then I didn't talk to her about it again, and see her in person until Romita. I can't tell you want happened in Kuzco, but God, Romita? That place was a hundred ways more personal and fucked up than the whole back-to-back siege in Congo, because that... the monsters we encountered there? Truly Inhuman."

Cleo twists her fingers, trying not to remember the way her student flinched away from her, scared and emaciated; of the broken body of the girl, Mina–no, Stefania, flying down to the earth, and the crunch that followed after her self-made descent off the ravine.

(She tries to keep the chilling image of Ariadne Stokes smiling at them beforehand out of her mind, and shivers as she tried to think of what monster Helene faced. Because the ravenette was so silent and withdrawn afterwards, and she wouldn't speak of anything that transpired, even prodded.)

"Alone." Cleo says, and Esme searches her face, trying to understand. Then it clicks.

"You left her alone."

A statement, not a question.

"Yes. I'm not proud of it, but I've left her more times than I should have, all these years."

"...I won't ask why, or tell you what you should feel, because that's yours alone." Esme finally says, after a while. "But I'd like to think she's forgiven you anyways. She did that, kind of a lot."

"...Yeah, I know. I want to think that too."

---

"You saved... kinda a lot of asses, Spillane. But nobody's ever been able to save you, when it mattered."

"No, someone did."

And their gaze slides towards María, who's still looking out the window and into the empty night sky, looking for something only she could see.

---

Rémy can count on one hand the times he'd been out of words. As a learned man, he never had a lack of them, loving the way his voice sounds, especially at the throes of passion.

But hearing that his dear friend, the woman who dared him, once upon a time, to fuck one of his paramours in the top of the Eiffel, has been lost. Well, people can forgive him for not gracing them with his presence, right?

("You, you, you fiendish Frenchman!" Helene shakes with indignance, trying to pummel your back with her tiny fists as you carry her on your shoulder.)

(You laugh, real and deep. "Oh yes, I am a fiend, and I am indeed French! Congratulations on your astute observation, chérie." This is one of the many times you've met after a seminar, but the first you've seen the professional woman crack. Who knew all it took was getting her drunk and embarrassed?)

("Augh, damn you. The only person who should be handling me like this is Spanish and she's farrrrrr more cuter than you, Fournier!" She declares, and you almost colide with a post.)

("Well, well, well! Sounds like a juicy tale, Chérie! You should tell me all about it!")

("No." She pouts, and you feel her tense. "Talking about her makes me sad. And I don't like that.")

(You want to press, but it slips your mind, because the next moment, she's out like a light.)

Miles grimaces beside him, bone deep weariness hitting in the moment the news hits.

"—o can you guys come pick everyone here up?"

"Oui, hang on tight. We'll get the island secured."

---

"How does it go again? Ah, yes. Too rich for use, for Earth too dear."

---

Zhu feels numb, as he sits quietly on his perch, just back from staring from the corpse of his friend.

("You are better than this, Jian Zhu, and you better listen to someone who knows and believes that there IS a goodness that exists within you, with all that want to be a better man! It starts that this moment, by acknowledging that this is bigger than you, than Kao, than everything else you've planned for revenge; So please—" Her voice is five parts pleading, five parts command, and oh. There it is. "Please stay, and help me finish this once and for all.")

(It's at this precise moment you knew you'd come to the ends of the earth with her, for her.)

("Okay." You whisper. "Okay." You say again, more full, more forceful. Because you know your need is selfish, is stupid, but Helene understands, and she knows better than anyone else a part of your story now, and all she asks for is this time, to help her save the world.)

(And you couldn't disobey, even if you tried. Because she is part of your absolution, and you will be a supplicant for her earnest devotion, the same way you feel her protégé(?) does as they cling to her.)

(Helene Spillane may physically be the smallest woman in the room, but the magnitude of her presence fills her with unnatural grace and strength that she dons on and off as she pleases, like a cloak.)

---

"...I'm not surprised, because I know how far devotion can run. I... I understand."

---

Dominique has had some of the shittiest days lately. It nearly tops the moment they uncovered the camps, but—

Helene is still, and if they close their eyes, they could swear the woman was just sleeping, the way she was no less than 48 hours ago, deep in the jungle wilds while in Japan.

It looked deep, you thought, with the way she was so still; but the brief rest didn't last, and she handily opened her eyes to stare towards you, unseeing yet, but her hands flying to the throwing knife hidden in her side at a blink of an eye.

Then awareness fills them, and you shake you head, opting to get her to prepare instead.

(So no, denial is a bad look on you.)

It doesn't feel real, the assault on the fortress taking almost instantaneously after their mission, after a brief hour or two to get ready with tools and wait for the team to be assembled. Then the bloodbath, of fighting the ground troops, teaming up in several pairs because manpower, time, and the path to the end is limited, and you all needed to make sure the assault is fast and efficient for the world, the fate of the world hangs in this one mission, and you loathe to think the end of it fails.

You don't want to fail. Death is inevitable, and you are nonetheless proud for being included in this ragtag bunch of people fighting for a better tomorrow. Included in the imposible last defense of this mystical mumbo-jumbo, because of course alien and magical powers are goddamn real.

(Fires blaze in your heart as Helene makes the final rounds for one last time before the endgame starts. Final goodbyes were already said awhile ago, and everyone tenses in anticipation.)

(In a better world, you think, Helene would have made a great motivational speaker.)

(And then you snort. Because Helene actually hates speaking in front of a crowd, and most, if not all her extroverted tendencies were a front. You'd know, because for all the showmanship you've done for the sake of your career, part of it was just for you to show off your skills in a relatively anonymous manner.)

(Show a clown to the circus, and get your bread and gold, and all that jazz.)

You're going to miss her, you think. You look around and spot Sam cringing on the side, trying their best to patch themselves up with one hand.

And you can't help but sigh, because the woman you observed who'd have patted their head and give them a noogie before doing the patch-up themselves is gone.

(And never coming back...)

---

"Our time was brief, but hey, we always had fun, didn't we Helene my dear?"

---

They say death is the end.

---

Helene is dead.

And then she wakes up.

There are many questions to be answered. But looking into her eyes, even though something inside has fundamentally shifted, something added, something lost; it's still her.

So they hold off, and take the gift as it is.

---

The word of her death does not spread far. Everyone else agreed to keep it under wraps, the cost of victory still too raw, too dear to talk about.

They settle on half of a lie, that yes, she was briefly gone; but life-saving maneuvers got her back.

But everyone in that island remembers. Her friends; her chosen family— something will forever be changed, because they knew the finality, had lived it, and mourned it, however briefly; before she went and changed all the rules.

(Helene loves to defy expectations. This happening is no other. Everyone is safe, and it's free real estate.)

And because of it, they will all have the chance to talk, really talk, and a chance for a future. Altogether.

---

Helene sits in a bench under the shade. Silver strands caress her face as the wind shifts, blowing a gentle breeze against her face.

Beside her, María sits, saying nothing aside from quietly slipping her hand into hers, and squeezing it. A stray beam dapples from the trees, making the golden bands on their fingers glint in the fading light.

"Do you have any regrets, Helene?"

"Before? During? or After?"

"In any of them."

Helene is quiet, as she is most days. But María has grown to be patient, because love is kind, and makes better fools of them both.

"No."

Short and succinct, with a finality in her tone.

(María, as most of the years that have passed, had grown to understand her new language.)

"Okay. Me either."

And silence reigns.

It’s a loaded but comfortable silence, their two hearts beating as one, and for that moment, everything is enough.

---

"Hey, María?"

"Yes, Helene?"

"Do you know I love you?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"Know that you love me?"

"Yeah, that."

"I don't need to know. I always felt it."

"Even after all I put you through?"

"Even then. Even now. Forever will, and even then."

"How?"

"You're a masterful liar, María, but you can't fool someone like me."

The book snaps shut. And she looks down on her lap, where Helene lies as she wants.

"And what is 'like you', huh?"

Helene looks up at her, eyes bright, and ever so full of love.

"Someone who knows. Someone who sees. Someone who percieves."

She says, quietly, but confidently. Then the brunette shifts, bringing herself up, so different in the time she lied there unmoving, craded in the redhead's arms. And she cups her face in her small, warm hands, and brings herself close, close eneough that they can see the flecks in their irises; of the yellow and gold intersped in María's hazel, and the subtle silver that settled in Helene's dark, grey-brown.

"Most importantly, Someone who loves..." she whispers. "you."

(María kisses her, and it's heady, sweet, and everything Helene ever needs.)

---

"Why did you come back?"

"...Because I wanted to."

"And it's enough?"

You understand that she speaks from a fear, a fear that you'll abandon her for your chase of power. The fear of being left alone, because you already left this mortal coil once, and something hums in you, calling for the void.

You can't explain in words, so you capture her in a kiss. And then try.

"I fought the universe itself to come back here because I believed, María. I believed in humanity, in myself, and the people here I do so love."

"That doesn't answer if it's enough." She answers, her grip tighter at the second.

Am I enough, she what she really asks.

It should hurt, after all these years, this doubt; but instead, it teethers you. And you blink, and everything finally slots into place. So you match her, and hold her close.

You smile.

"I love you, María."

You are enough, is your reply.

[sofreddie]

Serendipitous Souls (Part 2)

Summary: They've been bonded by Chuck. Now what?

Characters: Dean x OC!Reader, Sam

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1,385

A/N: Still building here as our characters become acquainted.

"Sam," Dean breathed out, releasing Y/N and running to his brother's side. Sam was fine, with some residual aches over the ordeal, but fine nonetheless. Dean sighed with relief and patted Sam on the back before standing straight and running his hands through his hair in frustration and relief.

Y/N stood awkwardly, watching the brothers and trying to process what had just happened.

For starters, she was sucked from her couch at home - in her pajamas no less - into the damn show she was watching on TV. Yeah, see, that should be crazy enough. But then she finds out those characters are suddenly real, she's a soulmate to one of them, and she's pretty sure she just had an arranged marriage by God to said character. Her mind is refusing to acknowledge there is even a 'part that comes next'.

She could run, she thinks. That's her first instinct. To get away. To run from what she can't handle. But she's in another universe, with no one and nowhere to go. And she's pretty sure the Winchesters would just catch her before she made it to the door anyway. She fidgets on her feet, one arm holding the other, trying to offer herself some form of comfort in this awkward situation.

"Dean," Sam hisses, nodding in Y/N's direction. Dean follows his eyes, as if suddenly remembering she was there.

"Hey," he says with a big breath, coming towards her and pulling out the closest chair, "Maybe you should sit?" he offers with as much a smile as he can pull off at the moment. She hesitates before slowly moving forward and lowering herself into the chair, on the very edge of the seat, back straight and hands clasped between her knees. She's literally on edge.

"Drink?" Dean offers, watching her nod before pouring out three glasses and handing them out. The three of them sip in silence, Dean's eyes wandering over Y/N. She's an average sort of beauty. Tall for a woman, but still shorter than himself. She's bigger than the average woman too, but shapely. He can see that through her slightly baggy pajamas. His mind so helpfully reminds him that Marilyn Monroe was five-foot-ten and a size sixteen - a true 'plus-sized' beauty and Y/N for sure has that sort of build.

His eyes continue to wander, admiring her 'child-birthing' hips. Cause that's what's coming next, isn't it, his brain so helpfully provides. Consummation, as Chuck put it. But Dean knows. Chuck really meant mating. All these sorts of rituals require it.

"So," Sam chimed in to break the silence after polishing off his glass, "We should probably talk about everything," he sighed out reluctantly, watching as his brother nodded and took the seat across the table from Y/N. Sam let the silence drag out a short while as he waited for either of them to speak to each other. As it was, they couldn't even manage to look at each other.

"It's about three hours to midnight," he continued, but the pair stubbornly remained silent.

"I'm sorry," Y/N's sudden apology cut through the silence, both brothers brows furrowing in confusion.

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked first.

"Because," she shrugged, "You don't know me and I don't know what happened to lead to this, but I-I know Dean never wanted something like this, especially someone he doesn't know," her words became more hurried the longer she went on, "A-and he deserves so much more than I could ever give and-"

"Whoa, hey, breathe," Dean finally spoke, urging her to calm down, "You don't need to apologize for anything. None of this is on you."

"B-but I'm just a fan," she emphasized, "I like the show but to be in it?" she huffed, "I'm gonna get you killed or get me killed-"

"We won't let that happen," Dean promised, his gaze serious and steady. He sighed heavily, "Look," he said, focusing all of his attention on her, "If anything, all of this is on me," Dean stated with a shake of his head. Sam groaned and rolled his eyes so hard his head rolled with it, "It is," Dean insisted to his brother.

"How?" Sam scoffed, "Please, explain to me how you've managed to work it in your mind that this is all your fault."

"He said I never worked right, never did what I was supposed to do," Dean argued angrily, "That the only difference between me and all the other Dean's was that a chip of my soul broke off when I was made and became Y/N," he said in a huff, putting apologetic eyes on her, "He sent you away so I could never find you. So we could never be together."

"Then why did he bring me here?" Y/N whispered, her gaze still on the wood grain of the table in front of her.

"Because," Sam shook his head with the nonsense of it all, "Chuck thinks that with you two being bonded, and thus Dean's soul being whole, that Dean will finally play along to his stories as he wants," he paused to finish off his drink before sucking his teeth, "And I think he's gone a little off his rocker and is experimenting with storylines now."

"You realize how fucking fuck-all crazy this sounds, right?" Y/N huffed out in disbelief, her gaze flitting between the brothers.

"Yet it's still not the craziest thing we've ever heard," Dean muttered.

"Or seen," Sam added with a shudder in memory of…something.

"Well, it really takes the cake for me," Y/N huffed out in a humorless laugh.

"Well, you're a fan, right?" Sam asked, "Fans usually imagine these sorts of things, right?" he asked, clearly uncomfortable suggesting such a thing but trying, somehow, to possibly be helpful.

"Imagining and doing are two completely different things," she growled out defiantly, finishing off her own drink. Sam was quick to refill everyone's glasses.

"So you have imagined it," Dean said with a sly smirk, taking a small bit of satisfaction from her shifting. She rolled her eyes and focused on her glass.

"You know," Y/N sucked her teeth before meeting Dean's eyes with a defiant glare, "I guess I shouldn't be so surprised you'd be so ready to sacrifice yourself. For Sam. Again," she huffed with a shake of her head, "I don't blame you for that. I just…there's really no limit to what you'll do to save him, is there?" she asked, the hostility gone and replaces with a sort of sadness, "Even marry a complete stranger," she chuckled in disbelief.

"Well, I mean," Dean shrugged, "It's probably the least damning sacrifice I've ever made," he laughed lightly.

"And an arranged marriage is probably the only way he would've ever settled down," Sam chuckled, feeling the mood becoming somewhat less somber.

"I know there's…more…that we have to do," Dean stuttered out awkwardly, "But afterwards, we can talk about what you want, or don't want," he tried to explain.

He didn't usually struggle so much with women. He assumed it had something to do with their bond and the way he swears he could almost feel her, feel their souls trying to reach out to one another. He had a feeling that if - no, when, his mind helpfully provided - they crossed that line, he would never come back from it. That wasn't something he ever had to worry about with any other woman. Ever.

"So what? We're just married, bonded, and expecting," she huffs out, "And then life just goes back to normal for you and I just exist around here?"

All of this was so sudden and forced on her. She'd be a flat out liar if she said she'd never thought about or imagined things like this before. It's Dean Fucking Winchester! Of fucking course she has! But for it to be real? To be happening right now as she sat in her pajamas and contemplated her greatest fantasies turning into her worst nightmares? Not like this, she pleaded over and over again in her mind. But she knew it was too late. It had already happened and, as far as she knew, couldn't be undone.

Bind myself to you for eternity.

The words from their 'vows' rang in her head. What would her new 'eternity' look like?

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

Serendipitous Souls:

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@xhannahbananax03

@440mxs-wife

@crist1216

[thewolfswriting]

Devil In A Suit Chapter 3

A/N: You know the drill, don't read this chapter if your sensitive to dub-con

Pairings: Soulless Alpha!Sam Winchester x Maria (Omega OC)

Word count:1,697

Chapter Warnings: Dub-Con, Mating, Scenting, Knotting, Sexual Content, Profanity

Taglist: @charmed-asylum​

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

"Samuel."

Just as Sam turned to walk down the hall towards his own bedroom he turned to the person calling his same. Walking to the stairway he saw John standing there, who motioned him to follow to the living room and once he did, he wasn't surprised to see Dean sitting on the sofa. Whenever Sam was involved in something, it usually concerned Dean too.

Sam raised his eyebrows in confusion "Why is Dean here?"

"This concerns him too" John poured himself a glass of bourbon before standing at the window and looking up at the sky "Samuel, I want you to ignore every word Michael said tonight about Maria. He can't take her back."

"What makes you so sure?" Dean questioned.

He turned his gaze towards Dean "Samuel bought her and he paid for her. Whether she presents tonight or not he will keep her, he said it himself."

"I do recall saying that." Sam was beginning to get annoyed. All he wanted was John to get to the point "What's your point?"

"And why does this concern me?" There was a hint of annoyance in Dean's voice also.

Now John's attention was directed to both of his sons "My point is, whether Maria presents or not she can't be given back to Michael. Dean, it concerns you because Lisa befriended her and I want it to stay that way."

Now Sam understood what his father was saying. It doesn't matter if Maria presents or not, claimed or not, she belongs to Sam regardless "It's set in stone then?"

"Yes. Every bit of it."

---

The knock at Maria's bedroom door is what grabbed her attention as she brushed the waves from her hair with a shaky hand "Come in."

Lisa appeared in the doorway before stepping in and closing the door "I  just wanted to ask if you needed anything before I turn in for the night?"

Maria hesitated as she stopped brushing her hair "N-no. I'll be fine."

The Beta knew better. In the short two months Maria has been there, Lisa knew her better than that "You're scared about presenting aren't you?"

"I think scared is an understatement."

Lisa approached Maria, taking her hand in hers "I remember the first time I presented. It was when Dean bought me and a few days later I presented and I wasn't as scared as you are. But if you do present tonight, don't fight it because that will only make your heat worse. The whole process will be very painful."

Maria took in what Lisa said and it made sense, but it also eased her feeling of being scared.

---

That night Sam awoke to a smell that filled his nostrils and his cock that was hard with rage. As he sat up he threw the covers from his body, opening his bedroom door, sniffing the air. He growled at the scent that lingered in the hall, knowing exactly where it was coming from. The scent grew stronger as he stomped towards Maria's room, opening the door, stepping in.

Her scent hit him like a brick wall. There she was, curled up in a ball, whimpering. She opened her eyes just in time to see Sam slam the door behind him.

The Alpha crawled on the bed towards her "You presented. You're Omega and you know what happens next."

Flipping the Omega on her back he crawled on top of her, grabbing her nightgown in his hands, ripping it down the middle and from her body. As he ran his hands up her body her skin grew hot to the touch. She whimpered when his hand came in contact with her breasts, in return his cock stirred against the fabric of his night pants. He leaned down to attach his lips to hers roughly while he palmed her breasts in his large hands, earning an unintentional moan from her. Pulling away from her lips he bent his head down to capture a pert nipple between his lips, biting and sucking on the bud, his teeth scraped against the soft flesh. If she wasn't wet from being in heat she sure was now, and Sam could smell it.

While pulling away from her breasts Sam hooked his arms under her thighs to spread them before crawling his way back down, his face in front of her mound that begged to be touched. He closed his eyes, his nostrils flared at her scent. When he opened his eyes and looked up at her, they flashed golden. Turning his attention back to her slick mound he used his index and thumb to spread her open further. The Alpha couldn't help himself, he swiped his tongue ever so slowly up her slit, gathering her slick on his tongue, purring at her taste.

Maria gasped at the sudden feel. Nobody's ever touched her there before "Sam, wait." She tries to sit up "I-"

"Shh" Sam places a hand between her breasts to push her back down "Let me make you feel good, Omega."

She did as she was told as her inner Omega was in no mood to protest against him and she didn't want to find out what would happen if she made him angry. She gasped, fighting the urge to close her legs as he once again swiped his tongue up her slick before strumming his tongue across her clit, continuing to purr against her, his teeth occasionally scrapping over her flesh and his stubble scratched the insides of her thighs. The Omega grips the sides of her pillow when she feels a finger brush over her entrance and tensed up when the Alpha pushed his finger forward, coming to a halt when it was buried completely inside her cunt.

"Does that hurt?" Sam asked, looking up at her and forcefully sliding his finger against her wet walls.

She nodded, her walls clamping his finger.

He turned his attention back to her clit, enveloping her clit between his lips, her hips bucked once he began sucking and licking. As her throbbing walls relaxed around Sam's finger he added a second, receiving an audible moan from her, his tongue and mouth not letting up. Curling his fingers he found the bundle of nerves deep inside her and this time her breath hitched, her eyes fluttering shut, her walls squeezing his fingers, indicating she was getting close with each quickening stroke.

"Sam, oh God." Her voice barely there. Her eyes flashing silver white.

As he continued his motions she bucked once again before pushing down on his fingers, her screams as her orgasm burned through her veins was like music to his ears.

"I'm not done with you yet." He said as he pulled away from her.

He crawled up the bed to lay on his back before grabbing her by the waist and pulled her on top, her legs on either side of his hips and her hands on his chest. The head of his cock pressed against her entrance and her eyes went wide. She knew what was coming and it scared her more than what she'd like to admit. Sam leaned up to press his lips to hers before grabbing her waist to began sinking her down on his cock.

"Alpha, please wait. I can't, I nee-" She said, pulling away from his lips as panic began to set it.

Hearing her say "Alpha" was all it took for him to slam her down on his cock. He clasped a hand over her mouth to muffle the scream that ripped from her mouth. The stretch accommodated by his cock burned her walls, he was so deep she could feel the head at her cervix and even the firm skin near the base of his cock. Sam knew it would be a tight fit and if he had a soul, he would've felt horrible doing what he just did but the primal instinct to fuck her was quickly taking over. Removing his hand from her mouth he looked up at her, tears that filled her eyes now trailed down her face.

She flinched when Sam snaked a hand between them and placed his thumb at her clit to rub it in smooth, slow circles. Placing his hand back on her hip he lifted her off his cock only to slam her back down, only this time she whimpered. He tested her by pulling out and thrusted up into her, the tightness of her cunt made him growl and grip her hips tighter. On one hand, he didn't want to hurt her. But her scent, the noises she makes, if he didn't do something quick he would hurt her.

"Get on all fours. Now" He told her.

Once again she did as she was told. As soon as she was on all fours Sam pressed her head to the mattress so only her ass was in the air. She gasped as he rutted himself through her folds, coating his cock in her slick before thrusting into her, letting her adjust. Grabbing her hips once again he held her still, not wasting any more time in finally rutting against her but at a slow pace, closing his eyes to focus on his self control. Maria whimpers as he fucks her harder, the drag of his cock against her walls turned to pleasure. With every thrust, his knot thickened.

"So tight Omega." He says while towering over her. Gonna feel so fucking good with my knot up in you."

As he drags his nose and mouth along the side of her neck Maria closes her eyes, she knows what's coming next and whether she's prepared for that or not it doesn't matter.

She buries her head in the pillow as Sam gave her one final hard thrust to force his knot completely inside her,  and with a primal snarl he sank his teeth in the base of her neck and that's all it took for him to come against her womb and his knot popping, locking them together. With force, he pulls his knot from her aching mound before he pulls his mouth from her neck and wiped the blood from his lips.

[marvelfangirllll]

All mine

Dean Winchester X Plus size!Reader

Words: 1586

Based off the post above.  (Y/f/c) favorite colour and (y/b/n) your bully's name or a random name.

Bullying trigger warning

I had been out with the girls shopping as I needed some new bras and they were already planning on going to the mall anyway.  I had picked out a few cute ones when they noticed a deal on some sexy lingerie pieces.  I had held up a couple to me in front of the mirror when Charlie and the rest of our friends then convinced me to try my favorite on.

I went to the change rooms and tried on the (y/f/c) one piece that lifted my breasts and flattered my hips and sides and lifted my bottom.  I turned myself around a few times.  I felt like I should be on the cover of a magazine.  "My lord if I wasn't me I'd date someone wearing this.  I then changed back into my clothes and left the change rooms.

"Was everything okay you took so long in there" Jody asked.  "Yeah I was about to go knock to make sure you didn't die" Charlie said.  "I was perfectly fine maybe a little more than perfect my self esteem hasn't really been up this much in a long time.  I'm definitely buying this." I smiled thinking back to how I looked.  I went up to the counter to pay for everything and that's when I noticed who was in line at the other cash.  The girl who bullied me for a long time who made me hate myself more then I could imagine.  Hopefully she doesn't recognize me. 

That's when she walked over to me while I was still waiting.  "Oh my is that you (y/n) (y/l/n)". She squealed and hugged me.  "Yeah it's me just picking up some stuff" I say hoping she'd leave.  She then looked at all the stuff I was getting.  "Cute but that one piece definitely isn't for a cow like you, you'll most likely rip it with your flabby skin, besides even if it does fit who you gonna wear it for?  Yourself... pathetic.  You probably don't even have a boyfriend and if you do than he's probably also a fat lazy pig".  This bitch was getting on my nerves and I tried my hardest not to cry.  "I'll have you know that I don't care what you think and that you certainly have not changed.  I do have a boyfriend and he is the sexiest man that I know and he loves me to pieces." I say glaring at her.  "Yeah and he's probably made up like the rest of your "boyfriends" (y/n)" she says putting boyfriend in finger quotations.  "I do thank you very much".  I said sassy. I then pulled up a picture of Dean and I together.  "That's your boyfriend, I know him he came to my bar one night and we screwed like crazy, the guy said that that he hadn't been laid like that in a long time.  I guess your terrible in bed then (y/n) and best regards to Poor Dean" she said and gave me her number "here for when he wants the best sex of his life again".  That's when I bought my bras but left the one piece behind and ran outside the mall.  Truth is we haven't had sex.

Charlie and Jody noticed (Y/n) had ran off and looked over to (y/b/n).  Jody then walked over to her "excuse me ma'am your under arrest for verbal assault". (y/b/n) tried to fight out of it "It was a joke I know that girl from our past, we're really close I swear" she tried to get free and get at Jody.  "Do you want to add assaulting a officer to the list" Jody says.  "No Sheriff" (y/b/n) relaxed and went down to the station with Jody.

When I was outside that's when I felt an a arm go around me.  "Hey, don't worry about bitches like her, your sexy and you and I know that Dean loves you.  If he didn't then I'd slay him like a dragon.  Charlie says and gives me a hug.  She then hands me a bag from the store we were at.  "Merry Christmas in July".  I then look in the bag to see the one piece I loved.  "I don't think Dean would ever cheat on you...also she's gone down to the station" she laughs.  "Jody?" I question.  Charlie nods with a smirk.  "No she didn't? Omg I thank you both so much your the best girlfriends I could ask for" I jump with Joy.

I head home after I took the girls out for lunch as thanks.  I decide to have a me day for the rest of the day as the boy's weren't in the bunker.  I decided to have a nice hot bath with a bath bomb and some bubbles.  I had a facemask on my face.  "As hectic as it may be I think I actually love my life" I say to myself. 

After my self care I decide to put on some comfy clothes and decide to bake.  I look at the things in the cupboard and decide to make a Carmel Pecan pie.

The pie had finished and I decided to put it aside to cool and put on a movie.  When my movie had finished I decided to go check on the pie and noticed it had left the location I had put it and went on a pie hunt.

I then found it still in one piece no slices gone and go to grab it when I feel muscular arms wrap around my waist.  "I'm back princess thanks for the pie" Dean says and then turns me around and kisses me.  "Who says the pie is yours?  It's for after dinner Dean and if you try to touch it before dinner then your gonna be in trouble" I then stick my tongue out at him.  "Anything you say babe" he then goes to make dinner.

I go to my room and put on the one piece that was bought and put it back on and looked at myself in my rooms mirror.  "I really do look sexy" I whisper to myself.  Then (y/b/n) comments start to come back and you feel some tears start to slip.  Thankfully I didn't have to think on it long as Dean called for Sam and I because dinner was ready.  I quickly try to grab some clothes and trip over my own feet.  I gotta get up and change. I push myself up and try to get dressed as quickly as possible but unfortunately things don't like to work out.  Dean walks into my room.

"I called for" Dean stops himself and looks me up and down the one-piece still on.  "Forgot dinner and Pie I think I found my full meal" Dean says flirtatiously.  " I quickly and finally throw clothes on overtop of the one piece.  "Let's just go eat dinner" I say not realizing it was quick and not my usual tone.  "Hey baby girl you alright?  I try to walk past him but he stops me.  "Yes I'm fine" he looks at me weird and walks us to sit on my bed.  "He wraps his arm around me and rubs my back soothingly.  "Do I not please you enough" I say and breakdown.  "Yeah sweetheart of course you do... what's all this about" he says cuddling into me.  "Its just we've never had sex and I feel so gross with myself and I bought the piece to feel sexy and to please you that my body isn't fat and bad" I cry and keep rambling.  "Baby girl your gorgeous, don't you ever say such things, whenever you wear something a bit revealing I'm always checking you out, even when you aren't I have to stop myself from always holding on.  "I'm so sorry for crying just a had a rough day, the bitch who used to bully me was there and she was saying stuff to get in my head and that she knew you and she said that she was the best fuck in your life" I continue to sob.  I then pull up a picture of (y/b/n) with shaky hands.  "Yeah I know her I helped her out because her fiance was really a vampire and it had been a long time since I had been laid while on the road...but that was years ago before I met you, I'm so glad that Chuck created you I never wanna leave you" Dean says and kisses me "how about we hang out in one of our rooms and I'll go get the food and bring it here and we can watch game of thrones re-runs" he kissed me again then went off.

I set up the tv and my bed with comfy blankets and got in and Dean brought dinner and the pie I had made.  He then climbed in cuddling with me and cuddles with me as I'm the "comfiest pillow ever" .  "We don't ever have to do anything you don't want to do right now baby girl" he says then feeds me some pie and shoves some in his mouth too.  I love this man and how good to me he is.

[ma-gic-gay]

Five times.

Five times she had woken up that night, thinking she was with Cyrus. Five times, she'd been screaming for him to help her. Five times, he'd reassured her she's in the hospital and that Cyrus is in a jail cell, where he'll be for the rest of his (very short if he had anything to say about it) life. Five times, she had felt completely helpless. Five times, she'd thought she was back in that little room above Jake's, with Cyrus. Five times, Jason had considered killing the ponytail clad mobster.

Five more times, they'd kissed.

That was something they'd have to talk about later. When she'd recovered from this, when they'd had time to actually think as opposed to just reacting and acting on whatever impulse they felt.

All night, he'd thought of his life's romances. The main ones were with Robin, Elizabeth and Sam.

Robin, who'd been his first love as Jason Morgan. It was still hard for him to fully forgive her for revealing that secret about Michael- no matter how much time passes, he couldn't help but be curious about what would've happened if they'd ended up keeping it secret for at least another year. There was the unlikely possibilty they would've made it, lasted through everything, but he doubts it. After all, as Carly once put it, if she wanted something, Robin would run to Europe as opposed to just telling him. It was exhausting.

There was then the possibility that him and Carly would've gotten together, raised Michael. Been a happy family. A tad bit dysfunctional, but happy.

Then there was his romance with Elizabeth. That one was, by far, one of the most bizarre things, now that he thinks about it. They were so different; it was doomed from the start. As much as he hates to admit it, Carly was right about that one. There was no chance of that relationship lasting.

And of course, there was him and Sam. Their end, their downfall, had been the same one he'd had with Elizabeth: she wasn't able to deal with the mob. But if he was being honest with himself, he knew that it was more than that; it was because, as Sam had said repeatedly, "I don't know if your first allegiance is to Carly or to me." To be honest, neither did he.

Sam would always question his relationship with Carly. It caused a fight everytime she brought it up, and when Sam had learned of their past, her head had nearly flew off her body. She hadn't exactly taken the news that her lover's best friend was also someone who he'd been in love with at one point well. The fact she'd been in love with him too didn't help matters.

As she'd tactfully put it one argument, "You'd die for her in less than a second and you're always going to her defenses! If anyone dares to speak a word against her, suddenly she's a fucking saint who's never wronged a soul! Carly, the same woman who wrecks your life at every chance and ruins all of your relationships! This is the same woman who you drop everything to help time and time again, even me! Carly doesn't feel bad when she comes in here, constantly, with all of her problems and needs you to solve all of them! Whatever the fuck it is you're feeling for her isn't friendly or familial."

That wasn't a fun fight for them to have whenever she'd brought it up. It always ended up with both of them fighting dirty before they'd inevitably forgive each other. It pissed him off that she'd question what he felt for Carly, that she'd try and make him admit something he didn't feel. She felt mad because of jealousy, feeling jealous of how much he cared for the blonde. Hell, they'd broken up because of his loyalty to her.

There was one common denominator in all of his breakups: Carly.

Whether or not he'd realized it at the time, she'd been the reason for all of them. Robin and him because he agreed to be Michael's father as a favor to Carly, Elizabeth and him because she didn't like the mob or his best friend, Sam because she didn't like his allegiance being to Carly.

He's surprisingly okay with that, considering everything. Shockingly, he's not pissed at her for, as Sam said, "Ruining all of his relationships every chance she got." The reason is because he knows she didn't mean to. She may have hated some of them, but so long as they didn't want to punch her, she remained civil. Truly, she just wanted him to be happy. Because he knew that, he's fine with the fact that she had caused their destruction.

All night, he'd stayed up thinking of his memories with Carly, trying to put her in a box in his brain. As usual, she refused. Even in his brain, she was too stubborn for her own good. Her name kept jumping from box to box until finally he gave up trying to categorize her and simply indulged in a bit of nostalgia.

Flashback

It was a cold day outside, even for New York's winter. She'd finally gotten around to letting the boys play in the snow and insisted he join.

"Jason, make a snowball with me!" Morgan had yelled, still too young to really make one properly.

Of course, he'd obliged his best friend's youngest and gotten in a snowball fight with Michael, who had a surprising knack for snowball making.

"I give up!" Michael shouted when Morgan flat out tackled him, covering him with snow in the process and earning a loud laugh out of both Carly and Jason. "Morgan, get off of me! I'm cold!"

"We won, right, Jason?" Morgan asks, smiling widely.

"Yes we did, buddy. Which means, we get a prize. What are you thinking?"

"Hot cocoa!"

"I want hot cocoa too!" Michael pouts, getting out of the snow.

"Morgan, how about we get you a new toy sometime this week? We'll go to the toy store and get you whatever toy you want," Jason bargains.

"Do I get hot cocoa too?"

Laughing, Carly says, "Yes, Morgan, you and your brother get hot cocoa. Why don't you go inside and have Leticia get you some?"

"Yay!" Morgan claps, going in the house with a soaked Michael following him.

"Can we come back out here after our hot cocoa and sled?"

"Sure," Jason answers before Carly, getting a smile out of a shivering Michael. "But you two have to be warned up first and the sun can't be setting in ten minutes."

"Deal." Michael agrees, heading inside. "Morgan! Let's sit by the fire!"

Carly playfully shoves his shoulder, "Now they're going to get freezing cold all over again. Thanks."

"Hey, the kid lost a bet. I'm keeping him from getting even more emotionally wounded. Besides, the sun'll set before they're warmed up."

"Mhm. This has nothing to do with the fact you feel bad for not seeing them when they're with Sonny." Bringing up his name darkens the mood, but he nods his agreement.

"It's better for them if I don't see Sonny right now. I know they know something's up with us and I don't want them picking a side-"

"Too late. My boys are always on your side."

"He's their father."

"You're their Jason," Carly counters, smiling.

"Big difference there, Carly."

"No, not really. Look, Sonny's being a pissy bitch because he knows you're right and he knows that I'm on your side. My boys are too, you know that. They know he fucked up and they know that you didn't. So while he's having a tantrum, you're helping me raise them like you always do."

"They're you two's kids, I don't want them getting caught up in all of this."

"To hell with my ex husband, Jason! He's throwing a tantrum and ignoring them. He doesn't give a damn about what they think about it either; he's just mad. They may be his kids, but you clearly care more about them," the blonde argues.

"He's upset because of me! He's ignoring the boys because of me, Carly! Don't you get that?" Jason exclaims, clearly battling himself mentally. "I caused it."

"You didn't do anything wrong!"

"That's not how Sonny sees it!"

"It's how I see it. It's how the boys see it. It's how anyone with half a braincell sees it, Jason! Don't you get it? We're on your side here, no matter what, because you're always, always on ours."

New flashback

"Give me my divorce, Jax!" Carly insists, begging him to sign the papers while Jason simply glares at her soon-to-be ex-husband.

"No!"

"Just give her the divorce. Hasn't she suffered enough?" Jason inquires, breaking his silence and putting an arm around his friend.

"Why, so you two can run off together? No," Jax answers defiantly. "What the hell are you doing here anyways?"

"To make sure you don't intimidate my friend into staying in a marriage she doesn't want to."

"I can't believe this," the Australian chuckles madly, "you really have him here for intimidation? What's Jason gonna go, shoot me? Good luck with that, buddy. Why don't you go leave my marriage and my family alone?'

"I am his family," Carly says, glaring at him. "And he's mine. Always has been, always will be. You knew that when we got married, that my first allegiance is to my children and Jason. If I were you, I'd suggest that you shut up and sign the damn papers."

"And give up my family?"

"Josslyn will always be your daughter and I like our custody agreement for her. She'll always be your family. But as for me and my boys, we're not," the blonde tells him, encouraged by the fact that Jax genuinely looks a little frightened.

"Fine," he relents, signing the papers and storming out of the office.

She feels a tear go down her face and Jason wipe it away. "Why are you crying? Isn't this what you wanted, a divorce from him?"

A chuckle escapes her, "Of course it is. But now, it's really over. I wasn't expecting to feel like this. I was expecting to feel happy or something, and I do, I feel relief, but now I also feel scared. I'm not even sure where I'll be living."

"You guys can stay at the penthouse, if you want. There's plenty of room and besides, it's quiet since Sam moved out." Jason offers and she smiles widely at him.

"Yet another thing I'll never be able to repay you for," Carly smiles, hugging him. "You sure you can handle two kids, a rebellious Michael, and me all at the same time?"

"Yeah," he answers quickly. "You're family."

"Thank you, for being there for me and them through everything that's happened. I love you."

"I love you too."

"It's nice to hear it."

"Yeah yeah, I think you've got to go tell the boys they're coming to the penthouse for a little while."

"They're going to be over the moon about this! Maybe Michael will finally stop being an angsty teenager." Carly squeals excitedly.

"I doubt living with me will change that," he says. "You sure Sonny's going to be okay with this?"

"I couldn't give less shit's if I tried about what Sonny thinks if I'm being completely honest with you, Jason, so don't you dare tell me that you're revoking your offer," she threatens loosely, knowing he'd never do that to her, to their family.

"Never. Just saying, it might be better if you're on good terms with your ex husband-"

"Well, I don't care. The boys, Josslyn, and I are going to be fine, living with you."

Back to reality

"Jason! Help!" She calls again, waking him from his memories and snapping him back into action.

"Carly, you're at GH. Cyrus is in police custody. I'm here, you're safe," he promises. "Nothing's going to happen to you. I promise."

It slowly sinks in and she breathes normally again before asking, "How's work stuff? Did Florence get home safe?"

"Yes."

"Shouldn't you be at the office or something?"

"No, I'm supposed to be here, making sure you're healing properly and nagging you," he quips, getting a smile. "Besides, nothing interesting is going on today. You're what's important here, not the business."

"The business is important too," she argues.

"Not as important as you."

A smile breaks out on her face at that, "Thanks."

"I'd say anytime, but I'm afraid it'd become a habit."

"When did you become so funny?"

"I've always been funny, you just haven't been paying attention."

"Sure. You're always so serious, walking around so stoic and never showing emotion until you're at your breaking point. Or think you're gonna die. It's sad, really. I mean, I love you and I know you love me, but it's sad you feel like you can't show emotion."

"I show emotion."

"Mhm."

"Sometimes. When I feel like it."

"Sure."

"You see my emotions more than anyone else."

"I know," Carly smiles. "That's just because I'm an amazing person and friend."

"You're also a tad bit overconfident."

"She wasn't last night," a sinister voice says from behind them. A voice belonging to Cyrus Renault.

To be continued after I pass out on my bed and don't wake up until school

@ryleighjosephine im not listening to school

[littlebird-99]

I don't do, I love you

Dean X Reader

Warnings: angst, language, hurt reader, pissed Sammy

Word count: 1,317

Summary: Y/n has been with Dean for three years, she knows he's not big in saying I love you, but she never expected him to do what he does.

Y/N knew Dean didn't do I love you, he did his own thing.

But the one thing she'd never thought she'd hear.

Like telling Sam he was proud of them when Metatron had killed him. She knew she'd never get an I love you, and she was fine with it.

“We're Done.. get out” he had told her, she couldn't believe it, she didn't wanna believe it, but all she could do at that moment was nod, and walk away.

And she left, left them all behind and started a new life, one without the Winchesters, Jack and Castiel.

5 years later

Locking herself in her room that night she decided to leave, leave Dean behind, leave Sam, Jack and Cas, she didn't want too, hell, she really didn't fucking want to but, she was going to, she couldn't be near Dean.

Y/n was on a hunt, even though she said she'd never hunt again. It's been 5 years since she left. She left Sam a note, explaining to him what had happened, and why she wasn't gonna be found in her room the next morning.

Salt Lake City, Utah, was where she was hunting.

Five kids have gone missing, between the ages of 7 and 12, at first she had thought it was a changeling, but there are no signs as it is one, so she was currently at the library doing research, trying to find any lead as to what it could be.

“Dammit Sammy, I don't really wanna join you in your nerd...” the voice she's been trying to forget for years, stops talking as their eyes meet.

She quickly packs her bag, shaking and muttering under her breath, dropping stuff, she groans until a large hand grabs her shoulder.

“Y/n…” She turns, looking up at the tall hunter.

“Hi, Sam… Dean” she says growls his name, she continues packing her bag, then walks out, Dean just watching her leave.

“You're a fucking idiot,” Sam tells his brother, watching him as he watches her, “you left her, all because you couldn't say those three words,” he says.

Dean ignores his brother, watching Y/n walk away for the second time, “shut up Sam” he says, before storms away, the thing Sam doesn't know, is Dean wanted to say it, he wanted to tell her how he felt, but he couldn't bring himself to it, he couldn't tell her, so he did the one thing he knew he could, push her away.

Y/n mutters, getting to her car, “dick.. asshole, motherfucker” she kicks her tire, shaking her head she leans her head back, blinking the tears away.

Dean watches from the distance, chewing his lip, they had been together for 3 years when he told her to leave, maybe it's for the best.

That night, Y/n is sitting at a bar, smiling gently at the bartender, whom she'd become friends with since being here for a while.

“Listen to me sweetie,” the old woman says, “life's tough, and I know that a man is why you're drinking” she adds.

“But, from what I've seen in your eyes from the moment you walked in here, tells me you still love him, you want to turn away and hide from him, but it's not really what you want.” She says.

“I-I…” she couldn't say anything, she just let her talk.

“I know, I may just be some old bartender, but listen to me sweetie,” she says, “I know love when I see it,” she says, “and judging by mister in the corner, he feels the same”

She looks around, her eyes finding those emerald green ones she learned to hate, or tried.

She shakes her head, “no way.. he told me we were done... he doesn't love me” she states, although her voice falters as she thinks about everything.

The bartender chuckles and nods gently, sliding her a drink again, before she walks away, helping other guests, her eyes wander back towards Dean, the buzz of the alcohol hitting her as she eyes him.

She stands up, walking over to him as she works up the courage.

Dean watches her walk up, hope filling his eyes until his face is feeling a sting.

“I… I deserve that,” he says looking up at her, she shakes her head, glaring at him.

She sits down, chewing at her lip and playing with her fingers,

“Y/n/n listen I..” she cuts him off.

“Don't... I knew from the beginning you wouldn't wanna be with me Dean, but I.. I still made the decision to be with you” she whimpers

He frowns, going to say something else, but she stands up, “you know what.. fuck you Dean, all because you couldn't say I love you, you dumped me! And I... I just started to forget everything, forget you” she says,

“I love you Dean.. well, loved you! You.. you broke me you asshole” she says before she splashes her drink in his face and storming out.

He quickly stands up and follows her.

“Don't follow me Dean” she growls.

He shakes his head, looking at her, he can feel the tears filling his eyes as he chews his lip as he watches her.

She shakes her head, “don't.. don't tell me you actually care Dean! Because if you did, you wouldn't have broken my heart that night! You would have been honest with me, instead of breaking my heart, you knew how I felt Dean! And you know how I get.. I've b-been hurt before and you.. you knew that'’ she whimpers

“You don't understand Y/n! I don't do I love you, okay? I never have and I never will, but God woman! You know I care about you okay? You.. you mean everything to me,” he starts, she turns around, facing him.

He nods, “I-I know.. and I'm sorry, believe me, Y/n, believe me” he whispers, not trusting his voice, she shakes her head before turning again.

“we're done Dean,” she whispered, not looking back at him as she climbs into her car, she pulls away and he can't help as he falls to the ground.

Dean walks back into the bar, shaking his head, once again, losing the woman he loved. He sits at the bar, ordering shot after shot.

Sam found Dean, drunk out of his mind as he pulls his brother from the bar, “come on, let's get you to a shower, and a bed. Let you sleep this off” he states.

Next Morning

Dean groans as he lays in bed, “son of a bitch”

Sam chuckles, “you know what would go really good?” He asks, “a greasy pork sandwich with cigarette ash” he grins, making Dean stand up and run to the bathroom.

Sam laughs louder, throwing his head back as he drinks his water, “this is why you shouldn't have followed her” he states.

“Sam… just shut up” he states, he stands up, cleaning his face, and brushing his teeth.

“I followed her because… because I miss.. I miss her” he says, looking at his hands, he shakes his head.

“I.. I can't keep not being near her, Sam! I can't…” Sam chuckles making Dean glare back at him, “what's so funny?”

“You pushed her away Dean, you broke up with her, and now you're admitting you love her, you miss her, you're pathetic” he says, shaking his head. “Dean, you realize it's been 5 years since she left us, 5 years before you made her leave us” he says.

Dean just looks at him, before he looks down, “i know Sam. I know I did, and I'll get her back.”

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