#lucifer (not helpful): what if i just catch her and drag her out. || Sam & Bela: NO.

[quietwingsinthesky]

watching taxi driver but what i am actually seeing is the elaborate alternate version im constructing in my head where lucifer has to escort sam through hell in order to save bela, who didn't deserve the fate she got, and sam is so filled with hope that he can right this wrong and complete the trial and then when they get there she's a demon <3

[rubyvhs]

stay, sam winchester

demon!reader x sam

summary: 4 x 10, demon!reader can’t have what she wants, not at the expense of sam’s happiness.

warnings; dean hating you, angst angst angst.

"i remember what it feels like, you know." ruby and i are waiting outside the demon proof panic room while the boys figure out a plan. she holds up a book and starts examining it. 

"remember what?" i found ruby three months ago, you know, with the hit list from hell and all that, but instead of turning her in, i wanted to help them. 

sam wasn't too keen at first, that much was apparent as he tried to exorcise me before i could say hi. he's powerful, it was one hell of a spell and it knocked me out for a few minutes. sam and dean aren't what hell keep whispering they are, they're not otherworldly creatures, they're human. they're the purest parts of humans we demons envy; hope, faith, and a little bit of lust. 

dean, although made me his enemy, is nothing but kind and sweet. he thinks of others before himself, and throws his own body into the line of fire before thinking of letting the other get scraped. it's noble, incredibly stupid, but noble nonetheless. that didn't matter when he saw me though, with him fresh out of hell, his presence triggered me and my eyes darkened. it didn't take him all of three seconds to press the demon blade into my throat. the damn winchesters and their 'kill now, ask later' attitude.

i like helping them, it makes me feel like i'm doing something worth it, like they're worth fighting for. they're certainly worth more than lucifer, why would i follow him?

i take a deep breath and let out the words i've been holding inside, maybe this will calm me down, "i remember when i was human." it catches her attention too quickly that she almost strains herself putting down her book to focus with my words.

"you do? what do you remember?" sam told me ruby started helping them from the good of her own heart, remembering right from wrong and that killing innocent people like alastair had taught us, was in fact not right. 

i wasn't like that, though. at first i just wanted to know why ruby was doing what she was doing, then it turned into a mind game. i couldn't tell whether what i was doing was right. i am a demon, i am evil and i'm supposed to be this violent creature yet here i am, sitting next to another demon so we could help the biggest known fugitives in hell, the winchesters.

she calls my name softly and i take a breath looking up at her, "what do you remember?"

"i'm not sure. it's just this overwhelming feeling of guilt. i feel like helping the boys has brought out more of my human memories than i thought possible, i remember the ache i felt when i didn't know right from wrong, and when i didn't believe or have faith, and i remember all the confusion and anxiety in my life. it's like my life is playing out in a movie in the back of my head and all i can do is let it while i drink up the negative emotions."

i don't think ruby expected that, because she's sitting there stunned and i think i may have just freaked her out. i'm a demon, i know that, but this whole 'nice' thing is new to me and she's been my only guide along with sam, i don't want to make her hate me. 

letting it all out wasn't as gratifying as i thought it would be, i am still the evil i thought i was before, it didn't change anything except that now one other person knows the hell i'm being dragged through, as if i didn't see it enough times.

she mutters my name but we're quickly interrupted by the winchesters and anna's entrance, "i have a plan." when do you not, sam winchester.

"let's hear it!" i say, smiling. he looks at me for a second and smiles back before we both notice his brother, moving towards me. "listen, dean," his glare ever so prominent and his hand on the demon knife in his pocket, "i only let you tackle me the first time because sammy matters to me, i've heard the stories about the great dean winchester, and i gotta say, not impressed."

he raises an eyebrow, quickly looking over at sam, "'sammy' huh?" the younger hunter shrugs. i don't get the big deal, i like the nickname, he doesn't mind being called it. 

"i've killed enough demons to know that i can kill you, no problem at all, no matter how much sam likes you." i laugh, takes a step back, two, three and just before i'm about to launch at that smug face of his, sam holds me in place, in the air. 

"sam let me go! he literally just said he'd kill me." i struggle for a few seconds before deciding it's futile to get out of his grip without magic so i just lean on him, my head down. 

this is so fucking humiliating, i'm a damn demon, i can kill him no problem. "i'm sorry." my eyes roll, my arms are crossed and i am so far from being sorry and he knows it.

"aren't you the ever so obedient bitch." sam's arms are on my shoulders again and he growls a low 'dean'.

one of sam's hands is on my hair, stroking it slowly, the other falling on my shoulder and he's closer than he's ever been. it makes me feel so fucking trusted, unlike what dean just did, that it calms me enough to not give a fuck what he says.

dean falls into the couch next to ruby, a hand on her shoulder he explains the plan. he is so fucking joking. so i'm a bitch but she's the love of his life?

"one of you will summon alastair, get him here. we'll bring the angels and let them fight it out. anna can snatch her grace from uriel while he's occupied. questions? concerns? awesome." i roll my eyes and face sam, slightly disappointed his hands leave my hair and fall back to his side.

"what makes you think they'll let us live after that?"

it seems like they didn't think this part through because all i get is a weak, "they care about dean, they won't kill us."

ruby snorts and voices the words stuck in my throat, "wont kill you."

i half sit on the table and sam takes it as an opportunity to move closer to me, forcing me to part my legs so he's slightly between them and i look up at him, "nothing will happen to you." i can feel dean squirming all the way across the room so, for his sake, i step back and all 6' 4 of sam falters slightly. its almost like he can't control his own movement but it only happens for a moment before he looks over at ruby, "both of you. we'll protect you, like we always have."

i don't mention that just a few seconds ago i was threatened by the very same man's hands i'm supposed to put my life in. ruby shakes her head and leaves, announcing she'll be back at midnight to do her part while glaring at me as if challenging me to fight. 

i don't want to. i'm tired of fighting. in her absence, dean's hand in lays on the couch's back and it makes me look at him in a way i never have before. him being so layed out reminds me of everything i did back in hell, the torture. i could find sixty ways to turn his body into a cloth and make it hurt. i could kill him so slowly, but this time without any hope of a deal. i could do so much damage. 

"hey!" i finally snap back when sam yells my name and i stumble back. i've never thought like that, not since i started helping them. "hey, why'd your eyes turn? what's wrong?" i shake my head and excuse myself hastily walking out. 

it doesn't take a few minutes in my '95 ford before sam runs out calling my name. "get out, now." i sigh and get out of the car, leaning on my side. "what was that? you've never done that before, neither has ruby."

i scoff at the mention of her. she's a great person, don't get me wrong, but she's is definitely not a demon. i ignore him, opting for lighting a cigarette since we'll be here a while. that idea is quickly shut down when he snatches the packet from me and i roll my eyes at his expectant ones. 

"what do you want me to say, sam? ruby's not like me, she's been in a human body more than she's been in hell, she hardly qualifies as demon."

"what? and you do?" his desperate words, his blue-green eyes staring at mine, him moving closer to me, it all feels too warm. so so so warm.

"yes, sam."

"no! you're not—"

"i'm not what? a demon? i'm not evil? i'm not here to instil fear and violence into your heart? because i am! you can't keep pretending i'm not, you can't say otherwise." one step closer and i'm pinned against my car, his hands on my waist. 

"you're a demon, sure, but you're not evil, sweetheart. unlike every damn demon i've ever met, you're trying." he's right. and wrong. and he's everything else between hot and cold, like my skin is with his bare hands on it since he lifted the hem of my shirt up to place his hands there. 

his head dips down ever so slightly but it's enough for me to look down, breaking his gaze and the spell he was under. "damn it," he mutters, head falling onto mine. "why do you do this?"

he moves away, hands still holding me and i shake my head in question, still feeling too warm to talk, "why do you keep pushing me away? i'm not scared or mad at you, what are you so afraid of that we can never have a conversation before you look or walk the other way?"

"it's just..." deans face, every single time i think about kissing sam, about exploring what this is, dean's face makes an appearance in my mind. demon blade to my neck, his disappointed gaze to his brother, the fight he'll pick with sam. 

all those things are too fucking scary for me to ever let anything happen. i can't die yet, i want to help them first, i need to feel like i did something or else this was all for nothing. 

"what? what is it?" 

"sam, it's wrong..." i put my flat palm onto his chest, pushing away slightly so i can make an escape for it. "i won't do something that'll come between you and your brother, or something that'll cost you your fair thinking or," worst of fucking all, "something that you'll regret and chalk up as lust in the end. i can't do that to you." 

i don't give him time to respond, though i don't think he would have. i step into my car and drive off. for now, the winchesters don't need me, they have ruby, i'll be there when they need me next.

if i'm not dragged into the pit, i will come back.

[kryptid-writes]

Chapter 4 - A Winchester Welcome

Y/N finds herself in a bunker with three unfamiliar men that are determined to help her. 

(1.9k)

I stir to the sound of unfamiliar voices, sounding muffled and far away. 

“You must know something, I mean, why would he just take some regular girl?” A man with a gruff voice says.

“I’ve heard nothing of it. She’s not on the list of prophets and she doesn’t seem to have any connections to Heaven or Hell,” another man replies, his voice low, gravelly, and unusually monotone. 

“So what? He just abducted her for fun?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” a third man pitched in, his voice slightly softer than the others.

My eyes flutter open, the light falling on my sensitive pupils. I quickly come to the realization that I am no longer in the house that Lucifer had dragged me to. I’m slumped over in a chair sat at a long wooden table in what looks to be some sort of underground shelter or bunker. 

The foundation is made of steel, layed with brick, and supported by concrete pillars. Hundreds of books and weird artifacts displayed on shelves line every wall, illuminated by the soft warm glow of overhead lights. 

I must consider my options quickly. Who knows how long it will take for the three men across the room to notice that I am no longer asleep. If I've learned anything recently, it's that the world is a lot more frightening than I've ever known before and nobody can be trusted. 

I have to find a way out and fast. Running clearly hasn’t worked out for me, so that only leaves me one option: I have to fight my way out of here. I scan the room around me looking for anything to defend myself with. My eyes land on a sharp letter opener laying on the table in front of me on a stack of scattered papers and books. It’s not ideal, but it will have to do. I swipe it quickly and hold it at arm's length in front of me as I quietly rise from my seat. 

This catches their attention, stopping their conversation dead in its tracks. For a second there’s silence, it hangs uncomfortably in the air until the tallest man finally speaks up.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you,” he says in a gentle, soothing voice, that in any other circumstance would have put me at ease. 

He has long flowing locks of brown hair tucked behind his ears and a blue flannel that hugs his tall, muscular build. He’s well over six feet tall, not someone that I could easily take in a fight, he’d most likely snap me in half without breaking a sweat. But something about him is soft and caring. 

He takes a hesitant step towards me and raises his hands to show he means no harm.

“Stay away from me you demonic fucks!” I yell, swinging the letter opener and slowly backing away towards the open hallway behind me. Truthfully I have no clue what the layout of this building is. For all I know, this hall could lead me even deeper into this nightmare of a situation, but staying in this room trapped with three mysterious men is not an option.

“We’re not demons, we’re here to help you. I’m Sam and this is my brother Dean Winchester,” he gestures between him and the other man in flannel. 

Dean puts on a fake smile and gives a half hearted wave. 

My eyes shift to the man in a trenchcoat behind them, standing silently with an intense gaze.

Dean catches this and gives him a subtle nudge to the shoulder. 

The man looks confused and annoyed at first, then clears his throat. “I am Castiel. Angel of the Lord,” he states flatly.

“Yeah? Well I've had enough of you twisted angels for a lifetime. So, if you'll excuse me, I’ll be taking my leave!” My voice quivers, but my face stays strong and stoic. I take a step back towards the nearest hallway, readying myself to make an escape.

Sam seems to take pity on me, clearly seen in his big brown puppy dog eyes.

 Dean and Castiel on the other hand, look rather annoyed.

“You don't want to do that,” Dean warns.

“Yeah, and why’s that?” I huff, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Lucifer seems to have taken an interest in you and he will stop at nothing to find you. If there’s one thing I know about my brother, it’s that he’s stubbornly persistent,” the angel weighs in.

“We have this place sigilled to high Heaven. He won’t be able to get to you in here, but as soon as you leave those doors, we can’t protect you from him,” Dean says, crossing his arms.

“Why would you want to help me?” 

“It’s what we do,” he replies with a smile.

“I promise you, you’re safe here. You just have to trust us,” Sam says, approaching me carefully like I'm some wounded animal. 

I give a quick nod and reluctantly lower the letter opener, deciding to let my guard down, seeing as I don’t have many other options at the moment. 

Sam takes the blade from my hand and flashes me a relieved smile, placing it on the worn wooden table. He pulls out two chairs, the scrape of wood echoing around the large room. He sits on the chair to the right and pats the other, urging me to sit next to him. 

With caution I slide into the chair, never taking my eyes off him in fear this all may be a trap.

“What’s your name?” He asks kindly, gently placing his hand on mine in an act of sincerity. 

I can’t help but remember the feeling of Lucifer's hand over mine, the buzz of electricity that quivered through us. I shake off the memory, refocusing my attention on Sam.

Dean and Castiel leave the room, having a hushed conversation between the two.

“Y/N.”

“That’s a lovely name.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of what to say. “How are you holding up? I’m sure this is a lot to take in at once.” He feathers his hands through his hair, tucking a strand behind his ear.

“I’ve been better,” I reply bitterly.

He nods sympathetically. 

The room goes quiet as we both become lost in thought.

Dean returns holding three bottles of beer, Cas following not far behind. He places a bottle in front of me, popping off the cap with a pocket knife before taking his seat across the table.

 Cas looms awkwardly behind him, staring me down suspiciously, like a bomb that may go off at any moment.

Without a second thought, I grab the bottle, putting the cold glass rim up to my lips and chug. I close my eyes and feel the bubbly liquid flowing down my throat, leaving a warm sensation in its wake. I drink until the bottle’s completely empty, shaking it lightly to get every last drop. The alcohol eases my worries, reminding me of my days before the dreams started, before being kidnapped by the devil, before being injected by the mystery serum, before finding myself in a bunker with two men and their angel. The days, that in hindsight, I really took for granted. I open my eyes to see everyone staring at me intently. 

Sam looks surprised, eyebrows raised and mouth slightly ajar. 

Dean on the other hand smiles, clearly impressed. “So,” Dean says, trailing his eyes over my form. “Why is Lucifer so fixated on you?” He asks, kicking his feet up to rest on the table and taking a swig of his beer. 

Sam shoots him a disapproving look, but chooses not to say anything.

“I’m not sure actually.” I glance down at my hands, picking at the skin of my cuticles absentmindedly.

Sam silently hands me his beer.

 I nod appreciatively and take a sip, choosing to savor it this time. “I started having dreams of him about a month ago. Terrible, terrible dreams. Then he abducted me. I thought for sure he was going to kill me, but he seemed possessive and surprisingly affectionate towards me?” I say uncertain, not entirely sure if I believe the words coming out of my mouth.

The three men exchange glances between each other, somewhere between confusion and skepticism. 

“Affection?” Dean asks, raising his brow.

“Yeah, he kept calling me his beloved and assuring me everything was going to be okay,” I say the words like they’re sour in my mouth, leaving behind a bitter taste. 

Dean's face twists in disgust picturing it. “So that’s it? Did he do anything else?” Dean questions, his deep voice echoing off the walls.

“Yes,” I state in an angry tone. 

The boys lean in, waiting for me to say more, but I choose not to elaborate further. I’m not too keen on sharing the most traumatic event I've ever experienced with some strange men I just met.

“I’d like to go to my room, please.” I grab the bottle and take a long swig, tracing my eyes along the wall, purposefully looking anywhere besides them.

“Y/N,” Sam says in his soft voice, indirectly asking for more information.

“Please, Sam.” I give in, looking at his soft hazel eyes. 

He nods, then stands from the chair and escorts me to an empty bedroom down the hall. We walk in silence, only the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall. “Dean’s just one room over and my room is across the way.” He points to a room a few doors down across the hall. “We’ll be here if you need anything at all.” He places his large hand on my shoulder, giving a light, reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks.” I close the door behind me, letting out a long breath I didn’t even know I was holding in. Looking around, the room is neatly cleaned. Mostly barren besides a bed, a nightstand with a small lamp, and a leather trunk at the foot of the bed. Despite the place feeling void of human touch, I still feel more comfortable here than in Lucifer's abode.

 I enter the small connected bathroom and shrug off my dirty clothes, turning on the shower. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Despite the hours of sleep I've gotten recently without much say in the matter, my eyes have light purple bags under them like I've been awake for days. My hair’s a mess, strands going every which way and little knots forming at the ends. I run my fingers through, slowly working through the tangles until it looked somewhat presentable.

I step into the shower and the hot water feels incredible. It temporarily melts away the memories of the day, the tension easing out of my muscles. I lather my hair with the small bottle of lavender shampoo in the nook of the shower, and wash all the grime from my body with the tiny bar of soap. Getting clean has never felt so good in all my life.  I close my eyes and stand under the stream until the warm water runs cold, the drops feeling like little needles hitting my skin.

After drying off and brushing my teeth, I slip into bed, only dressed in my underwear, as I don’t have any clean clothes to change into. My body relaxes knowing that I’m safe from Lucifer in this bunker, at least for the time being, and that’s good enough for me. For a long while I sit awake, staring at the ceiling, my mind running so fast yet feeling so empty, but eventually exhaustion sets in and sleep claims me once more.

Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e1 meet the new boss (w. sera gamble)

is this the first time they've used slow ride? i've thought about doing an edit to it because it's very spn/them/dean. the only thing i liked about the part of the new top gun movie i watched was how they used it in the bar. ha (#i have a hardon for fighter jets and fast bikes like anyone else but come on) slow ride. sleazy.

excessive zoom made me laugh the first time too

CASTIEL Sam, you have nothing to say to me; you stabbed me in the back.

lol. god in this fucking tan trench coat

CASTIEL I thought the answer was free will. But I understand now. You need a firm hand. You need a father. And I am your father now. Be obedient, children.

sorry i just keep laughing. this should be serious but i'm having a hard time finding it anything but comical

DEAN Imma fix this car. Because that's what I can do. I can work on her 'til she's mint. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he's in, we'll glue him back together too. We owe him that.

♥️

haha amazing. cas is doING GREAT with all this newfound power

DEAN Seriously though, Bobby. Look at our lives. How many more hits can we take? So, if Sam says he's good.. GOOD.

BOBBY You believe that?

DEAN Yeah.

DEAN hesitates for a moment.

DEAN No. You wanna know why? because we never catch a break. So why would we this time? I just.. just this one thing. You know? but I'm not dumb. I'm not going to get my hopes up just to get kicked in the daddy-pills again.

a) i was hoping sam would tell dean what was going on but now we get instead of him overhearing something that ensures he'll hide it sigh b) daddy-pills??? *shudder*

CROWLEY: Is everybody's boss. What do you think he's going to do if he finds out we've been conspiring? You do you want to conspire, don't you?

cheap but sheppard always puts his back into those and comes out funny

this extended chest burster scene with cas, okay. who could have predicted trapping millions of souls into a ... human vessel? angel? anything?? and just keeping them in there would go wrong!!

good old untitled 1 and 2,

*quirky heist music*

why are they doing the spell in the house they are currently burgling?? haha this quick cuts of them doing the spell stuffs

DEAN You're welcome.

okay.

DEATH This is about Sam's hallucinations, I assume?

well look at that, not even an episode before the the cat's out of the bag. that's a good thing for me at least

SAM No, I don't. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and you never gave up on me.

DEAN Yeah, and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?

SAM What was I supposed to do?

DEAN How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?

SAM Why? You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, and -- and I thought --what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control.

💔

so sam is gonna try to appeal to castiel. talk about turning the other cheek

SAM Hey, Castiel. Um… Maybe this is pointless. Look… I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but…

if they keep saying cas is a family member, will i one day believe it?

well this lucifer hallucination is horrifying. good job

CASTIEL I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.

how about fixing sam's brain that you scrambled! misha's getting a workout. now he gets to be leviathan(s). had to drag out sam's hallucinations somehow while also dealing with the souls business

death is a fun character, i'm glad he's continuing to pop in

[magdaclaire]

It’s Gabriel Day! 

Prompts: Spontaneity and Music. 

I also filled my square of Time Loops and Secret Caretaking for the Heaven and Hell Bingo and the Bad Things Happen Bingo respectively, so I’m prefacing the fic with the minutiae for the bingos first. 

Link: Find it on Ao3

Square Filled: Time Loops (Heaven and Hell Bingo) and Secret Caretaking (Bad Things Happen Bingo)

Ship: Gabriel & Raphael

Rating: Gen

Tags: Archangels, Time Loop, Secret Caretaking, Light Angst, Yearning, Nostalgia

Summary: Long before the days of Sam and Dean Winchester, the first being that the archangel Gabriel (and part time trickster Loki, if one would like to get technical) put into time loops was himself.

Word Count: 1050

Created for @spnarchangelweek & @heavenandhellbingo & @badthingshappenbingo​

Fic under the cut!

hiraeth

Long before the days of Sam and Dean Winchester, the first being that the archangel Gabriel (and part time trickster Loki, if one would like to get technical) put into time loops was himself. And Raphael, though he would argue that she doesn’t really count. She’s his brother. His twin. The other side of his truly charming coin. She perfected her healing on the inside of one of his time pockets, given years padded into the cozy space of one of Heaven’s dreary afternoons. The time pockets, as they are, are perfectly safe, Michael. For his younger years, Gabriel mostly uses them as a method of developing his skills; he’s not one for being unskilled in things in front of any of the angels, as he knows that they see the archangels as unbridled authority figures under their Father. He’d hate to break that kind of… borderline idolization. It’s nice to be loved like that. 

When his brothers go to war and there is more fighting in Heaven than Gabriel ever thought there could be (there has always been war in Heaven, angels have always been soldiers, but Lucifer was a lawyer, Michael raised them), his pockets of time, their looping safety, become a haven. He creates them in fits of spontaneity, unable to flit further across Heaven and deliver another death notification, wanting to cut off the communication streaming endlessly in his head for just a moment. He plays his music, picks instruments that Lucifer would love the sound of and tells himself that he does not miss his betrayer brother (he had always been Lucifer’s favorite, he thinks), and tries not to sob. He plays music until he feels some semblance of calm again, and then he leaves. The looping of time makes sure that it hasn’t been any more than an hour by the time he returns. 

One particular time, Raphael catches on the edges of his wings, and she follows him into the loop. It figures that she knows about them. She probably knows every single thought in his head, if he’s not careful about it. She probably knows everything about everything, honestly. Even though they had always been the same age, she had taught him things since they were fledglings, taught him how to fly when Lucifer had made games of pushing them off of ledges (he had never meant anything by it, he had just wanted them to fly too, he was such a small thing, a bright thing, nothing but a puff of feathers himself). Michael likely thinks he holds secrets from her, but Gabriel doubts it. Raphael has always been their wisest brother. 

“Gabriel, I’m unsure how long this can continue,” she says as soon as the loop settles around them, the tiny setting of the log cabin he usually chooses shivering around the unexpected weight of holding both of their large forms. It’s not strictly a real place, just one he crafts, so it adjusts after a moment of this, the extension of his grace flourishing under the larger piece of it he allows it to take. He focuses back on his brother. 

“What do you mean?” he asks, though he can likely guess. Michael had never liked it when he played with time. If he has any idea, his temper is already short these days. Raphael sighs. 

“I’ve done as much as I can to keep this under the scope of Michael’s attention, but there is only so much I can do,” she says, the words coming out as if they strain her to say, as if they are an admission she is loath to give to him. In this bitterness that the war has given him, he’s forgotten just how much his brother has always protected him. With this great weakness within him, he misses the days in which one could not look between his wings without finding Raphael, and vice versa given that they were always so close. The days when they were fledglings and Michael could hardly drag them apart to bathe them, to carry them upon his great heights (he hardly seems so much larger now, he used to be so much larger), to make everything such an adventure just so that they would separate. Gabriel misses the days when they would never separate. 

“How long have you known?” he asks, curiosity more than anything, but he has a feeling he knows. She smiles. 

“I felt it the first time you slipped through one without telling me. The displacement of you, however subtle you think you may be, is hard to miss,” she replies, and then her smile slips. His gaze hits the floor before he can help it. “Soon, even in his occupation, Michael will begin to realize as well, you know. I have deceived him where I could, but Gabriel-” 

“You deceived Michael for me?” he interrupts, looking at her once again, open vulnerability cracking open his expression in a manner that he cannot shutter. He and Raphael, they are- they’ve always been- but Michael. He is their viceroy. There is no deceiving their viceroy. Raphael holds his gaze. 

“Where I could. He is not in his right mind of current, Gabriel. It is his job to lead, and yours to carry the word, but it is mine to assure that there is something left standing when all of it is done. What that looks like, that is up to me. That is my discretion,” she says, her voice a stone thing, and Gabriel looks at where his twin once stood and sees an archangel grown from a circumstance he thinks he might be tired of living through. That is not a very angelic thought, however. He pushes it off. For now. 

“You think I need to get different hobbies, huh?” Gabriel replies, injecting levity into a conversation that has absolutely none, because that’s what he does, because actually engaging with things on a genuine level might kill him one day. Hell, it might even do it twice. Raphael graces him with a roll of her eyes (as many of them as there are), and a snort of what might be piteous laughter. He’ll take it. 

“Sure, brother. Different hobbies,” she says, and then she drags him out of his own time loop. Rude. 

[thekillingjoke-haha]

Beauty Sleep

Marvel and Supernatural bingo

Square:Sleeping Beauty

Castiel x Archangel!Reader

Warning?: Reader seems bad, Twist on Sleeping Beauty/Snow White, Poisoning, Wicked Father,ect.

A/n: [This text is a memory]

Tag: @thisismysecrethappyplace

The loud clap of a book dropping on the table startled the brothers for their own research. "What the hell,Cas." The eldest said more then likely woken up for his half sleep mind set. "I found it." He said as he pointed to the thick book.

"Found the weapon that can restore balance." He explained further causing them to grow intrigued. It was the weapon they were looking for that could keep Angels in heaven,demons in hell,and other supernatural in purgatory. The one thing that can fix everything."Perfect where do we get it?" Sam asked as he pulled the book three times thicker then the largest dictionary towards him. "Where do we find her you mean." Castiel said making the Winchester's look at him confused.

Dean cleared his throat and dragged his hand down his face. "Her? The weapon is a person?!" He asked. "Not exactly. She was the first Archangel made by both God and Amare. Legend has it she's more powerful then both of them she could create life with ease and equally wipe it without so much as a single thought. Because of this she had to be put to rest." The angel explained further.

"If she's so powerful how is she "put to rest" can't she wake herself up?" Dean asked as he looked over his brother's shoulder at the book. "Apparently her prison has hex symbols that takes away and returns her grace in a constant loop to keep her weak yet alive." The younger brother explained pointing out the drawing of the three symbols on the page. "So a real life sleeping beauty? Sweet! I always fit the role of prince charming ya know?" Dean said cockily posing victoriously.

The angel rolled his eyes. "There's a catch,Dean. It says once we break those symbols all of heaven and hell will feel it. The creations that she made will hunt her down...all things supernatural will come for her,but once she's back in full power she'll be able to cloak herself." Cas said as he paced slightly. If she was a powerful as legend had it she could fix it all for them. "Her creations? She made the monsters we hunt?! I thought that was Eve." Dean exclaimed as he ran a hand through his hair. "That's a common misconception the apple she ate gave he knowledge that only three beings knew. That special apple was made from her grace." That's when the angel paused as his words raked over him. "Her garden was never just a place it was her prison."

"The garden of Eden. What's this Angel's name?" Sam asked as he flipped through the book and tried to find a name,but all he saw was angel of light and darkness,the perfect balance. "God was nice enough to name it after her. Eden the first Archangel,but she's gone by many names before." He said.

Dean looked at the book with Sam. "Where do we find the magical garden? No book supernatural or not ever gave a location." The eldest asked and it was a good question. "The garden never stays in the same place for to long it moves often. One day it could be in a forest the next in a mountain." Cas said with a sigh it was impossible to find the prison with out a bit of her grace to track the source.

"Her grace is strong even a little can help us. Even if a millennia has gone by and it's became one with the elements it can help." Cas explained. "Cain" The name fell from Dean's lips as he numbly rubbed where the mark once was. "Cain is the son of Adam and Eve. Eve had that grace in her system she must have pasted it to him!" With that the boys packed up and were heading to Cains house to use him as a tracking device. The day long drive dragged on and with those time Sam continued to ask questions.

Most of the questions the angel had no answer to until one made him freeze up. "How did it happen in the first place? Was she casted out of heaven like Lucifer?" The younger Winchester asked. "I think Chuck poisoned her. She was like Lucifer she questioned a lot of things it was a new angelic trait, curiosity, except she loved all creatures and things Chuck made so when he makes something new she was the first to see and that was the last time any angel has seen her." The vivid memory came to mind.

The giggle of the young fledglings filled the air. A girl with H/c hair dragged a younger version of himself around. "My little raven come look! Father has created such beautiful things." She said as she showed him the flowers in her hand each different from the other. "What are they called?" He asked tilting his head. "Father said I can name them,but I can't think of anything...come help me plant them on earth there we can name them!" She said using her three pairs of large F/c wings to bring them to earth before humans were even thought about.

The soil on the ground was dark and it was vastly different from the sand surrounding it. With gentle hands she planted all of the flowers and together the angels named them. "Hmmm..." The girl hummed. "What is it Y/n?" He asked her. "We need something to keep them growing in numbers, raven." She said using a stick to draw on the dirt. "What should it look like?" Y/n asked him as she was going to go to her father to create it.

"Um...give it wings and make it the color of those sunflower over there." Castiel suggested. The drowning at took a couple tries,but as the kept adding and removing things they got what they wanted. Without realizing that the archangel just made multiple winged creatures on a whim and she wasn't even trying. God saw it all a d it scared him,but he couldn't do anything about it when his sister along with his other archangels would be there to stop him. He had to wait.

Three mil past and the two children grew bigger and she grew stronger. The small patch has turned into a garden of various plants that were only found in different climates around the world. Together they went there everyday even more often after the imprisonment of Amara and Lucifer along with the disappearance of Gabriel. Michael was busy trying to keep order after the two archangels left so it was his chance. Chuck called his daughter to see another one of his inventions,but that time was so much different from the others. Afterwards she didn't comeback she was never seen in heaven again and on that day a tree taller then any other in that garden with apples of pure gold grew.

The garden of Eden disappeared after Eve ate the forbidden fruit and it wasn't ever seen again by man,angel,nor demon knew of it location. Cas lost his friend and he knew it was god that did it even if he was suppose to be a loyal soldier he couldn't when he knew that the father of creation so willingly got rid of his most prized pupil what would he do to all the underlings.

Hours have past they stand in Cains living room. "Cain we don't need much from you just some of your blood that's all." Cas said as Dean explained what for. It took some convincing,but he agreed and bleed into a vile. "You guys better stop this apocalypse before shit hits the fan." He said as he shut them back out of his house. Sam handed the vile to Cas. "Now what do we do?" He asked the angel. Without saying a word he pulled something from his pocket a old looking compass. "Rowan taught me a location spell all I need to do is..." Pouring the small amount of blood on the glass of the compass and spoke in Latin causing the red substance to disappear. "...follow the arrow." Cas finished.

The arrow spinner rapidly as it settled on the strongest pull of the grace. "Looks like we're heading west. We have a estimated week before it changes course so off we go." Cas said as they all went back to the car. Keeping his eyes trained on it a small smile formed on his lips. "I'm coming N/n." He whispered to himself. Almost five thousand miles away a the unmoving body had a shocking pull of her lip at the mention of her name if only that could have woken her up for her comatose state.

It's been three days on the road and the impala had to come to a stop a thick treeline stopped them. The dirt road turned into a hiking trail and they had no choice,but to go on foot. Together they hiked up the trail blindly following the arrow through the woods. "Cas what are we suppose to be looked for?" Sam asked as he stepped over a fallen tree branch. "The closer we get the more exotic the plants and animals will be. Also be careful some of the wild life is experimental." The angel warned causing the brothers to freeze. "What do you me by experimental? Are we going to see a truducken?!" Dean asked jokingly as he looked around.

A loud snarling noise caused him to pull out his gun and look around. "More like human eating plants and venomous insects." This made Sam tense and stick closer to a still walking Castiel and Dean to cautiously does the same looking at each and every plant close by. "What is this fucking Jumanji?!?! Everything can kill us." Dean said keeping his gun up and ready to fire. "Oh, that was the name of the movie. Yeah those types of movies were based off of what explores experienced when getting to close to the garden." The blue eyed angel said with a shrug.

In a clearing they all look with widened eyes at the land before them. Flowers of all types with various animals and inserts. They watched in wander at everything creatures they've never seen or never insisted out of the garden. Everything was in bloom even though it was mid fall. There was a clear gravel path cutting off between the forest and wonderland in front of them.They wandered around since it became more difficult to find where the pull was unclear. "She won't be in plain sight she'll be hidden well. Look for something that doesn't quite match the rest. Trees of all kinds surrounded the area,but it was Sam who noticed the sand that mirrored a sky full of stars. He slowly followed it till it grew thick into a sanded path.

The youngest Winchester had his eyes trained down so when he looked up the apple tree before his eyes took his breath away. It looked straight out of a child's most imaginative fantasy. A white trunk with red leaves and the most noticeable feature the solid gold apples on it's branches. Sam didn't hear the voices of his brother or friend as he stepped closer directly under one of the low hanging fruits. Reaching up he picked the ripe fruit his brown eyes glazed over by temptation and curiosity. "SAM DON'T EAT THAT THAT!!!" Cas yelled using his grace to stop him mid bite. The angel looked in horror at the item in his hand a dark purple almost black apple sat in his friend's hands.

To anyone mortal it looked beautiful with it golden exterior,but Cas could see the ugly,fermented,poisoned inside. Glancing up the tree was rotting with barely any leaves and the few left were the color of blood. "It's poisoned their all poisoned." His words cleared the Winchester's vision of the tree and the surrounding woods all the plants were dead all around it. "It's beautiful on the outside,but deadly on the inside. And we're seeing it for what it truly is."

"It's clear as day that's she's here. Just how do we get to her?" Dean asked looking around. Castiel snapped towards Sam holding his hand out. "Do you still have the book?!" Sam nodded quickly taking the strap off his shoulder to dig it out of the bag. He handed it over the the angels that viciously flipped through the pages. "He made her a monster so a beast she became. She was blinded by curiosity and temptation she chose wrongly that day. Pick the fruit that doesn't call to you for the right one will choose you." He read word for word trying to see through the riddle. A beast? She was never a monster,but she was depicted as one. A angel that tainted the flock.

The Archangel landed gracefully in front of her father. She bowed on one knee as a warrior would clashed in her white armor and sword by her side. "Stand my child." She stood up looking at him. "Yes,father?" Her voice was gentle,but that didn't make the God of creation hesitate in his actions. "I've made something new for you to try and plant in the garden." Chuck said handing her the item. The skin was red and the surface was smooth unlike the peach that had a light fuzz. "What is this?!" Her e/c eyes burned bright her wings fluttering in excitement. "A red apple my dear." He said softly a smile on his lips stepping closer "Taste it."

Bringing it to her mouth she took a bite out of it and started to chew. It started of sweet,but became bitter within seconds and no matter how long she chewed it never broke down in size for long. "Father...something not right." She said that single bite still in her mouth. "Trial and error,darling, try to swallow it." Her h/c hair bobbed as she nodded. With a gulp she swallowed it down,but to her shock it stopped. Using her free hand she beaten at her chest to unblock her air way. Looking up at her creator she saw a look that can only be described as pure evil as a liquid poured out of her mouth.

Touching her chin a dark violet substance came dripped to the ground. Her gaze shifted to the apple within her hand and the inside no longer looked right. It was as if it gone bad from the inside,but the outside stayed fresh hiding the disgusting center. In fear she stepped back and with that she fell and continued to fall watching her home fade away. Y/n broke through the soil of the earth in a prison of her own design that she cared for and nurtured. Her arm dropped from her side the apple rolling away. The deceitful visibly harmless fruit planted it seed and grew becoming the only way to enter her personal mausoleum.

Castiel looked at the tree. All of the fruit looked the same nothing was different about a single one of them. Together the trio walked around the looming tree. The Winchester's saw something beautiful and they couldn't help,but want to pick one of the apples to taste. "What do we do,Cas. We don't have much time before this place disappear and possibly taking is with it." Dean said flinging his hands in the air. "The riddle said to wait then that's what we must do.

They grouped together and sat at the base of the tree waiting for who knows what to happen. "This is stupid! Let's just get the shovels from baby and start di–" His words were cut short as a apple full down from above them. "Well that was covenant." Sam said as Cas picked it up. To the brothers it looked odd a bronze color compared to the rest just less appealing. While to Castiel it looked horrible making the clearly deadly fruits more appetizing. "Our key in." He said. Using his hands to break it open to reveal the mouth watering interior that a honey like liquid dripped from,they picked correctly. The ground began to shake and they all stepped away from the base of the tree as the dirt around it caved in making a spiral staircase down and down they went.

It was pitch black down there so Sam and Dean pulled out flash lights to look around. They all went around the surprisingly large pocket in the ground. Dean checked for the symbols when he tripped over roots and landed on something hard and and moving. Snapping up he shined the light on the women laying as if sleeping in front of him. She was in white leather armor with a sliver sword in her hands on her chest. "Didn't find any hex symbols,but here's sleeping beauty." He said looking her over she rested on a raised stone that worked as her bed. "Never mind found them." The markings from the book in a pyramid shape was on one side of the bedrock glowing a soft F/c. Sam walked over along with Cas. The knifes both brothers held was used to break the engraved symbols,but nothing happened.

"No no no that's not right. Y/n is suppose to be freed!" The angel in distress said as he flicked through the book nothing else was said to be imprisoning her, why didn't it work? The Winchester's examined her the youngest looking at the elegant armor while the oldest focused more of the feminine features. "Sammy you read that book while in the car. Didn't you say something about her being the first female?" He asked his eyes not leaving her. "Yeah a model for Eve and later Amara's less celestial form. Why?" Sam asked touching the blade of the sword. "Yeah if that’s try why does she have a Adam's apple?"Cas wasn't fully paying attention until that sentence. His blue eyes imminently went to her throat were a noticeable lump was. "That wasn't there before." He mumbled loud enough for them to hear. Placing his ear just a centimetre away from her lips a shallow breath was let out and a wheezed inhale drew it back in.

The angel put his overlapping hands on her chest. He didn't know everything about humanity,but he knew enough to understand what he was about to do. He pushed with all his strength and he heard a sharp breath push out it just wasn't enough to dislodge whatever was there. Cas continued his actions and just when he was giving up hope she coughed up the chunk of apple and a weird substance. F/c glowing eyes snapped open as she lurched forward her grace burning bright casting a shadow behind her. It was a sight to see three sets of wings,what can only be described as a halo,along with twisted horns. After the grace calmed down her eyes returned to their normal color and they instantly when to Cas a wide smile spreading on her face. "My raven." She said. Y/n knew why she was awoken after all this time. To fight in a war she wanted no part of,but with the thought of putting everything in balance and striking down her father where he stood made her ready to fight. After all she felt like she's had enough Beauty Sleep.

/////////

A/n: This one took a minute,but I was torn between sleeping beauty and snow white since both of them fall asleep so a mix of both.

Also post #69....Noice

[bumbleberrysky]

alexa, play candyshop (bass boosted) | 01

pairing: gabriel x reader genre: soulmate au, canon divergent around s13, hurt/comfort, humour, future smut (probs) wc: 3.2k rating: sfw warnings: none except the appearance of battered gabriel fresh out of asmodeus’ hold notes: welcome to my first dive into writing for supernatural! i saw someone say that s13 lit a fire under their ass like nothing else and honestly i don’t think i could have described it better. i binged so much while catching up the past few weeks idk who i am anymore

You knew there was a reason some divine power brought you to the Winchesters all those years ago, but to this day you still have no idea what that reason is. It's something you're destined to find out soon though, especially when you return to the bunker after months away and find not only a new face, but one that belongs to someone who up until that point you'd thought was dead. What does his return have to do with the changes you're suddenly experiencing in yourself? Will you finally find out the reason you'd been brought here in the first place? Maybe...

Chuck works in mysterious ways after all.

next.

“Honeys, I’m home!”

The bunker has the same light aroma of musty air and metal as you let yourself in through the heavy front door, feet carrying you, out of habit more than anything, to the steel landing that marks the entrance to the fortress. It’s been so long since you were last here that the two men you used to hunt with regularly have likely forgotten they gave you a spare key. Well, they hadn’t exactly given it to you so much as you’d made a copy on the down-low and kept it for occasions such as this.

One hand keeps pressure on your arm, an attempt to stem the bleeding, and the other carries your single carry-on bag. You make it about halfway down the stairs before your gaze swings out over the foyer and you freeze, mid-step.

Sam and Dean, the two figures you expected to find here, are standing stock-still with their guns half-poised (not directed at you) and expressions on their faces that are a combination of shocked, pissed, and extremely confused (mostly directed at you). Following the line of their weapons leads you to the other two occupants in the room, most definitely unexpected and completely unfamiliar.

One is in rags, cowering, and whimpering, unrecognisable underneath filthy tangled hair that covers his face, and the other is in a prim suit marred only by blood and a bit of dirt, barely a single strand of dark hair atop his head out of place.

“Twinkletoes? What the hell are you doing here?!”

It’s Dean’s stupid, old nickname for you that breaks you out of your shock, a glare already falling onto your face with the practised ease of muscle memory.  

“I’ll answer that when you tell me what the hell I just walked in on—” You come the rest of the way down the stairs, slower and more cautious now, with your gaze trained on the two at the other end of the table. It’s when the man in rags finally looks up from where he had been cowering and you catch a glimpse of his face, bloody and bruised but instantly familiar, that your words swell and catch in your throat.

“… Gabriel?”

The brothers in front of you heave a great, unanimous sigh, a look passed between them telling you that you’re about to be on the receiving end of a very ludicrous and typical Winchester story.

x     x     x

The first time you met Gabriel was not long after you’d gone through the biggest plot twist of your entire life. You’d gone to sleep in your bed, in your home, and woken up in a completely different part of the world, like some magician had snapped their fingers and you’d been the punchline of their very next trick. Much to your regret and distaste, some minor investigation revealed that where you’d woken up in the backseat of a car on the side of the road was in some state in the US. You’d sworn to yourself that you would never step foot here in your entire life and then, like God or whoever reigned above was laughing straight in your face, you’d just up and woken up in some random car in a place that made you long to be literally anywhere else.

Preferably somewhere where the occupants didn’t have such easy access to guns.

…like the two men who screamed and pointed theirs at you when you popped up from their backseat after they climbed into the cabin, fast food in their arms.

That was the first time you’d met the infamous hunting brothers, the Winchesters, and the first time of many you’d nearly died in their company.  

It had taken a while for them to trust you, but after you inviting yourself onto a few of their cases and saving their asses a handful of times (ignoring the amount of times they saved yours because you forgot that almost every American slept with a gun beneath their pillow) they’d eventually taken you under their proverbial wing. It helped that you had literally nowhere else to go and nothing but the clothes on your back and a bare handful of belongings to your name. Once they figured out you weren’t hiding anything up your sleeve and that you’re just naturally annoying and a little dumb, they’d happily invited you to become an official-unofficial part of their little hunting gang. This means you’re also familiar with the hilarious angel they have in their back pocket. Castiel is a riot and one of the things you miss most when you go off to hunt on your own.

Having been around during the whole ordeal of Lucifer and Michael going through the motions of continuing their family spat on an apocalyptic scale, you too grew to be familiar with their youngest brother, the archangel Gabriel. Of course, while you’d been there for a fair amount of the angel-turned-trickster’s shenanigans, you weren’t there for the final appearance he made at a hotel in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. In complete juxtaposition to the fact that you could count on one hand the amount of times you’d interacted properly with Gabriel, the sensations you experienced at the news of his sacrifice, his death, were unlike anything you’d ever felt before. You like to consider yourself much more emotionally healthy and with an emotional range far larger than that of a teaspoon and the Winchesters’, but that… that news was something that it had taken you months to recover from fully.

And even then, apparently your recovery wasn’t as complete as you’d thought, because hearing what the boys have told you now has made your eyes burn and your stomach turn into a nest of manic bees, your insides lined with flowers and pollen. You think, for a moment, that you just might be sick.

You’re sitting in the library, Gabriel having been taken to a room of his own by one Winchester while the other fills you in before they’re both reunited before you, and you’re in the kind of mood where you sort of want to just sit there and dissociate for a few hours, truthfully. You can tell you’re not going to get that opportunity though, so in the wake of the bombshell they’d just dropped on you about all you’d missed in the past few months—that they had apparently forgotten to tell you over the phone when you checked in occasionally— you do the next best thing you can think of for the moment.

Put it on the backburner, baby.

You massage your temple with your fingers as you lean your head into your hand, a sigh escaping through your nose. “See, this is why it feels like I have been brought on as a babysitter—I leave for a few months and you old men manage to dig up another almost-apocalypse and find and raise Lucifer’s kid?”

“Alright, first of all,” Dean whips out a finger to point at you, filling you with glee. You’ve barely been back a few hours and already you’re stepping back into your favourite “stir-the absolute-shit-out-of-Dean” pants. As always, he is almost pitifully quick to rise to the bait. “Old? Who are you calling old? Alright so maybe we have a few years on you but that’s just because you’re a toddler and w—”

“Dean,” Sam places a placating hand on his brother’s shoulder, a look that seems to be a mixture of amusement and exasperation crossing his features. “You’re making it too easy for her.”

The older Winchester pauses, turning to pin you with an accusing look. You smile, not even attempting to appear innocent. After staring at you for several long moments, Dean makes the ‘eyes-on-you’ gesture with his fingers before turning away, rolling the tension from his shoulders as he takes a seat across from you.

“You were gone for almost a year this time, did you have any luck, well, leaving?” Sam brings your attention back to him, the question dragging out a sigh that feels like it’s been dredged from the very depths of your being.

“No,” you answer, sounding somewhat petulant even to your own ears. “Why is it so hard to leave this god-forsaken country! I hate it here. I’m sick of trying to make a run for it and being zapped back into a swamp, or—or a pool at the top of a penthouse suite in the middle of some random city! It sucks balls.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dean waves his hand, enjoying the dirty look you give him. “So you still haven’t found whatever purpose you’re meant to fulfil while here?”

You huff, shaking your head. “No. It’s been years and I still have no idea why I woke up here that day. Or why I can’t leave.”

Over the time you’ve spent with the Winchesters, a few things became apparent to the three of you about your stay here. One, it was indefinite. You’d discovered quickly that you are, quite literally, unable to leave. Every time you get close to escaping this country you black out and wake up back inside. Sometimes in a helpful place, sometimes…. Not.

Two, the three of you had thrown around and entertained the idea that maybe you’d been brought here for a reason, that like them maybe you’d been divinely allocated a role to play. But you’ve been through a lot with the Winchesters, whether in person or by association, and still…

You’re no closer to being able to leave and return from whence you came.

You have no idea why you’re here!

This is something that has really contributed to your temporary career as a hunter here. That isn’t to say that this profession isn’t something you were involved in before you came here, but you’ve really… you really dove into it, whether as a distraction or as an ongoing investigation as to what on earth was going to set you free of your tie to this place. A part of you thinks that each case you take on, each person or family you save and creature you slay might be the one reason that brought you here, and the one task that with its completion will grant you freedom. You’ve never been a fan of being caged; just because this one spans a grand total of 9.834 million square kilometres doesn’t make it any less of one.

This most recent expedition that led you to part from the Winchesters for such a long time was another of your failed attempts to leave. You think you’ve tried escaping at every possible point along the coastline and border by now, with a definite lack of success.

“Well, if it really is some divine intervention keeping you here, then it’s better if you just sit back and settle down, twinkletoes.” Dean huffs a laugh, leaning back in his chair with an accompanying creak from the wood. “Those divine types have proven to be… kind of assholes.”

You frown, but he isn’t saying anything you haven’t already thought. It’s part of why you’d settled so easily into hunting here, actually. ‘When in Rome…’, as they say. You’re familiar with the hunting grind and there is comfort in familiarity.

“Are you going to stay a while?” Sam asks, opening the first-aid box he’d first brought over when you’d settled down. Ah, right—you’d almost forgotten about the injury on your arm, despite the fact that you are still pressing a palm to it. You listen as he speaks, almost swearing you can detect a hint of hopefulness in his voice. “You still have a room here for you, of course. We haven’t touched anything inside.”

“Yeah, mostly because we didn’t wanna deal with the mess and the booby-trapped doors—” Dean’s under-the-breath mutter is cut off by your coo, a wide smile pulling your lips.

“Oh, you two missed me, didn’t you?” Instantly, you are successful in ruffling Dean’s feathers— Sam might take a bit more work, though. “I know I really light this dark, dingy place up but I didn’t know it was that bad without me! Ah, perhaps I will stay a while. You know, out of charity.”

“Sammy,” Dean says, beseeching. “It’s not too late—you hold her back and I’ll find her key. It’s not too cold, she’ll be alright outside.”

An appalled and affronted look slips onto your face and Sam has to clear his throat so that he doesn’t laugh and add to his brother’s torment.

“I’m not a misbehaving puppy,” you say, holding your arm out for Sam as he comes over and finally freeing your bloody hand. “Wait, unless you want me to be. Been broadening your horizons beyond animated tentacle porn have you, Deanie-bo-beenie?”

On cue, Dean’s face flushes light red, whether from anger or a brief spritz of embarrassment, only God knows. You can see Sam’s face grow tense from the effort of holding back noise in your peripheral as he tends to your arm.

“You know what? I’m better than this. I’m gonna let it go.” Dean rises from his chair, making a show of dusting off your metaphorical drama. His light eyes flick to you, squinting. “I’m tired; I have a date with my memory foam pillow and nice, warm, feather duvet and a good night’s rest, so goodnight. I hope your bed has bed bugs, twinkletoes, and I hope they bite.”

“I hope you sleep well too, Dean!” you call after him, deciding you’ll have to give him a break from the bullying tomorrow  or else he’ll explode before you can have much fun. “Do you want me to come tuck you in?”

“No! Goodnight!”

His yell and disappearance down the hall is followed a few moments later by the familiar sound of a door slamming shut,

“That’s not very fair of you,” Sam announces, sounding strained and very much like he’s trying not to laugh lest Dean has an ear pressed to his door. “He’s too tired to fight back right now.”

“I know,” you answer, wincing as he wipes down the laceration on your bicep and cleans the blood away with an alcohol wipe. It burns, but it’s definitely not the most painful thing you have ever experienced. “I hadn’t seen you guys in so long, though. I couldn’t help myself.”

Sam simply snorts, reaching for the needle and thread to being stitching the skin back together, and you breathe harshly through your nose as you reach for another topic to distract yourself.

“Are the two—sorry, the three of you actually dads now? To… to Lucifer’s half-angel kid? I thought angels getting frisky with humans was, uh… illegal up in heaven.”

You feel rather than see Sam roll his eyes, your own pointedly directed away from your arm where he has begun to get to work. “It’s Lucifer, y/n, I don’t think he cares about what’s illegal up in heaven.”

You purse your lips—he makes a fair point. Honestly, you feel a little silly for questioning it. “Right, and he’s… trapped in some other dimension? An alternate world where the apocalypse really happened.”

“Yep,” Sam says, hitting a particularly painful spot with his needle. You hiss, giving him a glare.

“I wasn’t even gone a year! Just hearing all this shit is stressing me out so much, dude.” You sigh, attempting to adjust your position in the wooden chair without jostling your arm too much. Thankfully, practice has made Sam quick at his job and already he is almost done piecing you back together. He finishes up with a knot, snipping the thread and then placing a large bandage carefully over the wound. He dusts his hands once done, standing from where he was leaning against the table and proceeding to loom over you like a T-Rex.

“You’re blocking my light, bro,” you inform him, narrowly avoiding a subsequent good-natured smack to your good arm. “Damn, what the hell! Didn’t you take an oath or some shit? I’m your patient!”

“I was studying law, not medicine,” Sam retorts dryly. He turns to leave and put the first aid supplies away, his back facing you but not before you see how his lips twitch. “So your annoying ass is free game.”

“Maybe so,” you acquiesce, rising from your seat with a light grunt as you jostle your arm. You consider asking Sam where Castiel is, to see if you can get a hit of the good stuff and skip the healing process, but think better of it. You always feel a bit bad asking him to heal you, though you barely ever have to since he’s like a rabid mother hen the second he sees blood on any of you. “God, I’m beat. I didn’t think I could get any more tired than I was before, but as always catching up with you two has aged me a few years and now I’m just about as tired as you two are all the time.”

Sam doesn’t rise to the ‘old man’ bait you dangle in front of him—never really does, if you’re being honest; that’s mostly Dean’s vice— but he does offer you a smile that is unexpectedly sincere and fond.

“Go to bed, toddler,” he retorts, before continuing in a softer tone, “… It’s good to see you again, y/n. I’m glad you’re here. Dean and Mom are going out on a hunt in the next few days and I think you can really help with, uh… the whole Gabriel thing.”

For a moment, you don’t say anything. You’d sort of been trying to avoid thinking about the elephant in your mind, for the very same reason that makes your eyes burn once more. It hurts, a lot, thinking and imagining what he must have gone through at the hands of Asmodeus. It feels like your heart is going to tear itself to pieces in your chest from the sheer extent of your empathy and how terrible you feel for him. The Gabriel you saw cowering before you earlier is nothing like the confident feathery asshole you used to know.

Even having only seen him once, it’s enough to make you fearful of the possibility that… he might be too far gone to ever return to that last echo of his previous self.

“I’m not sure what I’ll even be able to do to help,” you respond, approaching the doorway to the hall with your bag in tow. You pause to finish what you’re saying, meeting Sam’s puppy-like gaze from across the room. “But I’ll try. It hurts to see him like that, so… I’ll stay a while, to do whatever I can.”

Sam’s answering thankful smile and nod is all you can ask for in response as you turn and head further into the bunker, dragging your bags back to the room you’d come to call your own over the years. Your gaze strays on the way to one of the doors that has a little note taped on saying, ‘please do not open suddenly or loudly’, undoubtedly the room that they have allocated to Gabriel for the time being. Heart heavy in your chest, you continue on down the hall and tear your gaze away.

You’re not sure how much you can do for him, but you hope you can do something.

next 

[lostinaseaoffictionalbliss]

Twisted Part 5

A/N: figured with it being V-day and all that I would post this sweet chapter today

Pairing: Sam x green eyed!fem!reader

Word Count: 1012

Warnings: dirty talk, implied smut

Sam laced his fingers with yours and walked out of the motel room once you had all your things together. The diner was a little bit of a walk, giving you some time to talk before you even made it there. "You said you're pre med. What courses are you taking?"

"That's right. You actually listened." You were surprised by that. Most of the time guys pretended to listen to what you were saying when in reality they didn't hear a thing and were looking at your chest the whole time. "Well this is my fifth semester and I'm taking a few classes. I'm in two psych classes, genetics, and physiology right now. Finished my other prerequisites already. So at the end of the semester I will have my interview. Hoping to go to Yale." You smiled.

"I did. I'm not like the boys you're used to." That was true. He was all man. Sam looked down at you. "That's really good. I'm happy for you. I know we don't know each other well, but I know how much work it takes to do what you're doing. I was pre law and had an interview for law school before I got dragged back into hunting."

"Dragged?" You looked up at him. "That sounds like a story. You can tell me if you want. No judgement. Just listen and be here." Something told you that he hadn't really talked about what had happened to him all those years ago. Maybe a little with his brother, but talks like that could be hard to have.

Sam opened the door to the diner for you and followed you over to a seat. "Yeah dragged." He sighed and took a seat across from you. "Our dad went missing on a hunt. Dean asked me to help find him. I took the weekend and went with him. Did a hunt, but didn't find our dad. When I came back, my then girlfriend, Jess…" He shut his eyes.

You laid your hand on his. There was pain evident in his voice and you wanted to show him support. "Take your time. No rush."

"A demon killed her. Same demon that had killed my mom when I was a baby. So I went back into hunting full time. Wanted revenge."

You frowned. "Shit. I am so sorry. That sounds awful. A demon?" 

And so while the two of you ate Sam explained all the monsters that existed. He even told the full story of losing his mom, his girlfriend, his dad, killing the demon responsible, losing Dean, getting Dean back, about angels, the apocalypse and stopping it, and everything in between. You listened to everything earnestly, eating your burger and nodding. You would wait until he was done to ask questions.

"Okay so angels are a thing. Lucifer is real and you can actually make deals at the crossroads. So,  how the hell do I keep these guys out of my space? I want nothing to do with any of them."

Sam paid for your food and chuckled softly. He found talking to you easy and had opened up about things he had never really talked to Dean about. "I'll help with that. Come on." He took your hand and went back to the motel.

That night Sam helped you pack up your meager things and take them back to your apartment. Once you were settled in he grabbed what he needed to protect your home. Luckily Dean had left their gear behind when he left for the bar. "Alright now salt your windows obviously. This will keep out ghosts and demons." He looked over your door and windows. "Lucky you there is a little catch that's iron over your windows. That will help too?"

You helped Sam put the salt over all the entry ways. "Okay so what else can I do?" You looked up at him.

He grabbed your small rug that rested in front of your front door. "Care if I paint the bottom?"

You shook your head. "Go for it."

Sam drew the devil's trap and put the carpet back. "Okay so that's all that can be done to keep ghosts and demons out. I'll put up a few enochian signs to keep out angels. Then if you want you can get a tattoo to protect you from possession. Until then have this." He held out a necklace with a charm on it.

"Thank you." You took the necklace and put it on. You stood up and kissed his cheek. "Least now I know I'm safe from some stuff." 

Sam turned his head and captured your lips in a kiss. "You're very safe now. I will keep in touch and make sure of it."

You watched as Sam used parchment paper to place enochian symbols behind photos and such on your walls. The muscles in his back and shoulders rippled. You groaned softly and pressed your thighs together. "Um are you almost done?" You licked your lips.

Sam turned and looked at you. He took in the way your thighs were clamped together, the lust filled look in your eyes, the way you drug your bottom lip between your teeth. His cock twitched to life in his pants and he moved closer to you. He tilted your head up and smirked. "Is someone wanting me to fuck them hard and leave them fantazing about my thick cock pounding their pussy?" 

You swore his voice had dropped a few octaves as he talked to you. It sent tingles straight down your spine and to your core. You nodded. "You've ruined me for other men already. Want you to ruin me more. I'll be thinking of you every time I use my vibrator from this day on." You just knew that you would never find someone else to fuck you the way that Sam had fucked you and was about to fuck you again.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear." His lips claimed yours in a heated kiss as he laid you back against the bed.

***

Likes are great, but don't share my work. If you like this please reblog. My masterlist is in my bio

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

You are the one in my heart (Part I)

(11x11/11x12)

Hello my friends! Here we go again with another meta about season 11!

This time I'm gonna talk about the way this season makes us see that Dean is in love with Castiel and the angel being the only one in his heart. To talk more thoroughly about this, I divided the topic into two parts.

I want to say thank you to @destielle for beta reading this for all of you! Thank you girl! 💕

Get it out of my head!

Just a little thought about this quote that was repeated several times by several characters in episode 11x11 'Into The Mystic'. Of course they referred to the Banshee, but it was clearly a mirrored description of what was going on with Castiel, at that time possessed by Lucifer.

Cas left when Lucifer occupied his vessel, but while Sam openly worries about him, Dean confronts Sam and us with his trust in Cas and him disappearing… 'Cas is always fine!' 

He was so embedded into his drama with Amara that he had no time for additional worries. And Cas was always fine... Right?

This momentum is important because of the drastic change we will see in Dean’s stance on this after he discovers that Castiel is possessed by Lucifer. From then on he won’t rest until he is able to rescue him. His priorities will change and Amara will drop lower, behind Cas, on the list. But we will talk about this in the upcoming metas.

Oak Park and Broken Hearts

I need to talk about the two songs in the beginning of the episode: they're extremely romantic, talking about two lovers and how they meet again. So… these may be just little hints of Castiel coming back to Dean after being possessed. 

But let's jump to The Residence Oak Park. We meet Mildred, I know, but there's another interesting character, named Arthur. Arthur is the man in charge of the residence, but the reason why he sleeps at this place is because he separated from his wife. He starts talking about it with Dean, and it’s obvious he got his heart broken. He says this sentence to Dean…

ARTHUR: I should have sent the heart. I can be so stupid.

The meaning behind this? He regrets how they broke up over phone, but even more that he didn’t do more to keep her by his side. And these regrets are exactly the same Dean will be struggling with after discovering that Cas was in fact Lucifer the whole time. Maybe he should've paid more attention to what was going on with Cas, acting so weird… but because Cas is always okay, as he claimed... and with Amara on his mind, worrying him a lot, he just couldn't see it.

When Arthur is killed by the Banshee, we encounter through Mildred that he had a heart condition (valves issues), so we, as the audience, connect that bit to the symbolism of the broken heart. This also applies to Mildred herself when she says she has Atrial Fibrillation, another cardiac pathology.

So… why wanted the Banshee to kill Dean? What made Dean vulnerable? Also his heart! It was broken by his encounter with Castiel (Casifer) in the bunker!

Don't use me as bait

Before jumping to Casifer’s and Dean's scene, I want to point out how blatantly the writers helped us seeing the subtext.

First of all they made the Winchesters talk about broken hearts. Because they needed us to see that case revolving around that topic.

Secondly, after Dean and Casifer had their moment, Dean was very offended by the thought of Sam wanting to use Mildred as bait. Why? 

Because writers wanted us to see that what Cas inquired to Dean was to make him act as the bait to catch Amara. And that was the cause of Dean's vulnerability and broken heart… he thought Cas was asking him to play the bait, thus putting him recklessly in danger. His Cas, who always had been loyal to him and who would never hurt him, always took care of him even. It broke Dean’s heart, because he thought Castiel didn't love him the way he did. Again, the shadow of the unrequited love…

And that’s said scene:

Dean enters the bunker and finds Casifer searching for something, looking disheveled with rolled-up sleeves and no overcoat, especially without his trenchcoat. It’s an odd sight of the angel. And rightfully so, because it’s not the real Cas…

After this they start talking about Amara…

DEAN: Yeah, I know. Saying you're gonna kill is one thing, but... Actually doing it's something totally different.

LUCIFER/CAS: What do you mean?

DEAN: I've had two shots at Amara. I struck out both times.

LUCIFER/CAS: What are you talking about?

DEAN: I don't even know where to start.

LUCIFER/CAS: Dean... Tell me everything.

Lucifer found something that sparked his interest: why isn’t Dean Winchester able to kill or harm Amara? So he plays the concerned friend right here to gather more information from Dean.

DEAN: I tried to kill her.

LUCIFER/CAS: Well, the two of you are connected somehow by the Mark.

DEAN: Yeah, no, it's, uh... It's more than that.

LUCIFER/CAS: Attraction? Oh, Dean.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

DEAN: I know. I know. Okay? Whatever it is, a... Attraction, connection... I got to tell you, man, it scares me. I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it.

Dean defines his issue with Amara with the word ATTRACTION, but he doesn't know exactly what it is, because he can't control it. Because it’s a dark force that drags him to her. So he doesn't know what it is, but he knows what it’s not (I will talk about this in the next meta). So, Dean is terrified… he doesn't like it. 

Lucifer is lucky because he can use this against Amara, but he tries anyways to act like a comprehensive friend… but he fails… his first mistake is to place his hand on Dean's right shoulder (and that's when Dean looks at him suspiciously) because that's not Castiel's shoulder (profound bond shoulder).

And after this Lucifer says those unlucky words that will break Dean's heart, proning him to become a Banshee's victim.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

LUCIFER/CAS: Hey, it scares me, too. But we will find out what this is, I promise. In the end, it may help draw her out. This could be a good thing.

Dean looks at him hurt and confused. Why does Cas want to use him as bait? Doesn't he care about him? 

Dean is pining for Castiel

Gif credit @demondetoxmanual

Mildred was introduced in this particular episode as a wise character, with Dean she talks about watching sunsets and FOLLOWING YOUR HEART. Dean listens to her, and really reflects on those words as we will see in the final episodes of this season, when he follows his heart trying to rescue Castiel from Lucifer despite the main plan. It will be a war decision, more accurate in the circumstances, revealing he never changed his mind and will and has always put Castiel first, because Castiel comes first in Dean’s heart.

Another interesting and wise observation Mildred made about Dean, and writers were very specific to make us see it, is the following…

MILDRED: Darlin'... If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else.

[Dean smirks]!!!!! Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember? I don't know who the lucky lady is, but I am damn sure jealous.

Mildred saw it, just like the banshee, Dean is pining for someone. The lucky one that has his heart however is not Amara, we know that Dean is afraid of her and he knows it’s not love that he feels for her. But Dean smiles nonetheless… he smiles, because Mildred found out. Yes. He is in love. Yes, he is pining for someone. And it’s a very hot, blue eyed and winged man. 

A little Destiel mirror

Just a couple of words about episode 11x12, we have Alex here with a boyfriend that turned out to be a vampire ( a monster) which she didn't know about before.

Pay attention to this dialogue after Alex finds out her boyfriend is a monster.

ALEX: (To Henry) Nothing? None of it was real?

HENRY: Seriously Al? You were a complete freak! I mean, you were an angry loner, creeping around the school like some kind of trench coat mafia?

CLAIRE: You're gonna burn in hell, you sociopath.

HENRY: (Still looking at Alex) I could never date someone like you.

It’s a switched mirror, Alex represents Castiel now, and the disappointment of being rejected will come at the end of the season when Dean calls Cas their Brother. Oh yes, the car scene… and the coward We/Us speech… my heart.

To Conclude:

Mildred served as a channel to show us Dean is pining for Castiel, delivering an advise Dean will follow once he finds out Cas is in danger.

Dean had his heart broken because of Cas (Casifer), drowning again in the idea that his love is unrequited.

Alex/Henry relationship was a switched Destiel mirror and a premonition of the "rejection" Castiel will feel when Dean calls him a BROTHER later on.

I hope you enjoyed this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links Vol. LXII, LXIII, LIV.

Buenos Aires, June 9th 2020 3:17 PM

[occult-castiel]

A thread with no end

Cool metal lighter in hand, he finally takes a glance at the reason for all of this. 

It's small, swallowed whole by the thick yellow clothes Sam has it in. It yawns, puppy-like, and fixes his wide eyes on Dean.

Blue. Big and impossibly blue. Its shades too light, closer to ice than ocean, but it pulls something loose in him. It's — it's almost like —

When Jack is born, he doesn't come out fully grown.

[Part One]

[Ao3]

Chapter 2

When the sharp edges of adrenaline settle, the last couple of days are a blur to think about. The absence of it is always its own kind of tired — aches become apparent again. His temples sting. All thoughts are filtered through sludge. His stomach gurgles out loud groans. The reminder is a desperate attempt to make bodily functions matter again, but the desire for food is numb. If anything it makes him sick.

He shakes his head, uses his free hand to blanket his face, pinch the bridge. Trapped under the rough pressure, his tear ducts throb. But it’s all right. It’s fine.

Fucking peachy. 

Sloppy and mechanical, as Dean pulls the two of them off the ground. He doesn't look at the embers. The ash. His joins cry against all movement, each jagged step a chore. What should be solid ground slips loose under his boots. He has to catch himself with each half-stumble towards the house. Little snivels turn to full body whines, and Dean doesn't blame the kid. It can't be fun to get jerked around by some idiot that forgot how to walk right. 

The door juts open with a creak, and whatever course of action he might've tried to take vanishes. 

Unfiltered sunlight glimmers in through the curtainless window. Dust particles dance in yellow above the table where it's — it’s just empty now. His last pitstop. The last place Dean would ever get to look. To touch. Legs on autopilot, he trudges over. 

Light glistens off the table's glossy finish. Glints against the discarded keyring Sam somehow remembered to salvage. Carefully, he skims the tips of his fingers over the cool surface, and dread sits like a rock in his stomach. It was warm, right after. But the air has long since leeched any heat Cas left behind. 

Throat tense, he cups the keyring under his palm. Tightens his fist around it until the metal digs in and his arm trembles. 

It's not fair. None of this is fair. They used to have more allies. Friends. Something they could fall back on after so long of having nothing, but none of it even lasts. Like the universe has decided The Sam and Dean Adventure just ain't multiplayer. 

"Dean?" 

He shoves the keys in his pocket. "Yeah. Down here." 

Sam clunks down the steps and gives Dean a tight smile. Grey bags under his eyes highlight the bloodshot tendrils. His whole body slumped in on itself, the exhaustion of the last however-the-fuck long hitting him like a brick. Maybe he looks that bad too. 

Over one shoulder Sam has the world's largest baby bag — lime green and burgeoning with diapers. The zippers stuck halfway around. It thunks when it hits the floor, and Sam shakes a bottle. "Made some formula. There's an extra in the side pocket." 

"Thanks." Dean takes it. "Gonna have to toss the other one. Stuff can only sit out an hour." 

Sam doesn't say anything to that, just scrapes a chair to the table, plops down, and buries his face in his hands. That's okay. Silence suits Dean just fine. 

He repositions the baby in his arms, cradles the head against his shoulder so he's more upright. The kid latches on to the plastic nipple with ease. 

The last time he fee a baby was a lifetime ago in some stranger’s home, babysitting with an ex-angel post attempted-murder. He and Cas had straightened out his not-dates house, and the baby started fussing. The bottle was already made. He didn’t think about it when he started feeding the kid. When Cas saw him, he gave Dean a pleased smile and said you're good at this. 

It jolted his pulse. Compliments had a way of hitting him funny, but right then? In the low light of a picture-perfect suburban home? Right from the very human Cas who has sex and goes on dates and looks at Dean like he’s worth something? 

Neck warm and mind blank, he offered to help Cas do it right without thinking. 

And it was good, the light touches, soft adjustments that weren't necessary. But Cas never dressed down that much, so it was better than good. Dean spent the whole time thinking about how thin his cotton shirt was. Cas was smaller without the layers, and the warmth of him unfiltered. He tried to peel his hands away, but it was like he couldn't stop. Angel or mud-monkey, Cas felt strong and whole. 

The comfort of the words stuck with him for days. The feel of Cas underneath him never left. 

God, he should be here now. 

The baby’s pudgy face grimaces, and Dean moves the bottle back until it evens out again. 

"We need to figure out what we're doing." Sam's palms muffle his voice. 

"We're going home. Welcome to the joys of parenthood. Here’s to hoping it doesn't kill us during puberty." 

"It has a name." Sam drops his arms to his sides. "Jack. Kelly made videos on her laptop for him." 

Dean rolls his eyes. "Well ain't that just lovely?" 

Sam's jaw drops. "Dean."  

He's two steps away from being the spitting image of some scandalized Victorian chick, and it crawls under Dean's skin. 

"What? Jack here is the son of Satan, Sam. Fucking pardon me for not caring about mommy’s little home videos," Dean says. The baby — Jack, whatever — whimpers. Body tense, Dean slowly slides the bottle from his mouth. 

"He's a baby, not a monster. And I'm just saying we don't have to — to tuck our tails and go home." 

White spit-like liquid dribbles from Jack's mouth. Dean sighs. 

"Fan-freakin'-tastic. I forgot babies did this crap." Dean sighs, storms over to the table, and places the bottle down with a hard clank. "I'm not seeing an array of options here. We can't exactly put a Nephilim up for adoption. Or hire a babysitter." Carefully, he brushes off Jack's mouth with the color of his onesie. It’s probably the cleanest thing they have to do it with.

"There's Mom. If the portal was opened once, there's gotta be a way to do it again. Maybe the Book of the Damned, or the Demon Tablet..." Sam perks up. "We could try and get Donatello to help —” 

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you there." Dean lays Jack flat against his shoulder and pats his back. "First of all, you really want a soulless dude and Lucifer's kid bumping shoulders? Don't think they could be, I dunno, a bad influence on each other?" Jack releases a puff of air and Dean adjusts him back down. He levels a hard stare at Sam. "Second of all: Moms dead. Nothings gonna help that." 

Sam doesn't miss a beat. "You don't know that." 

Buzzing vibrates from Dean's pocket. He yanks it from his pocket for it. "Pretty sure I do. Lucifer ganked her the minute the portal closed." 

"You can't —" 

Unknown. He sends the asshole to voicemail. 

Sam shakes his head. Sighs. "Whatever. Who was that?" 

"Not Donatello." Well, it could've been. But whatever. He grabs the baby bag, then slings the lime green wrecking ball of a bag over his shoulder. "You've got Baby's keys. I'm taking the truck." 

The coach squeaks. Before Dean can make it out the door, Sam grabs the strap. The force yanks him in place. Dean swivels around and glares. Sam drops his hand and gives Dean a weary look. 

"Can we just talk about this?" 

Dean swivels around. "I don't know what you want from me. Crowley's dead. Kelly's dead. Cas is —" Pain pangs his chest, a little twinge that sends pin-pricks through his torso, down his arms. His eyes dart away and land on the table. The discarded, half-finished bottle sits just outside of the sunlight’s path. "Mom’s gone. We even lost Rowena. So I'm gonna take the kid, find a motel the next state over, and put up whatever sigils I can to let the dick brigade know they aren't welcome. Rinse and repeat until we’re back home." 

Sam scoffs, but whatever energy he had left is burned out. "Whatever. We'll talk later." 

"Unlikely." 

By the time Dean walks over to the table and grabs the bottle, Sam's halfway up the stairs. 

Dean pushes past Sam and grabs the bottle. By the time he walks through the door, Sam's halfway up the stairs. 

Ash has blown around the yard, smeared it in grey. Eyes downcast, pointedly away from the remnants, he beeline for the truck. Wind whistles by and smears ash across the lawn. Dean stares at the mustard-colored wet spots on Jack's clothes instead. 

Cars are like a testament to the owner. The truck is immaculate. The burgundy shines — there’s not a spec of dirt marring the strips of pearl-white. 

Dean doesn't bat an eye at the car seat. It’s green. Of course it’s green. His breath doesn't catch at the stupid cartoon bee sticker smiling at him on the car seat’s side.  And he doesn't think about Cas. 

Not him stumbling through a Walmart visit to buy the thing. God, he bets the nerdy little guy compared brands, sifted through online reviews in the middle of the aisle. He doesn’t picture how pleased Cas must've been at finding a pack of sticks, of all things. How the rest of them are most likely sitting in the glovebox. How it was probably the last enjoyable moment he had. Dean doesn't think — he doesn't. Merely shrugs the baby bag off onto the floorboard, buckles Jack in, and clicks the door closed. 

Sweat slick forehead pressed against the doorframe, Dean squeezes his eyes shut. 

The last conversation he had with Cas is a blur. An actual conversation, not stress-filled bickering over the newest pile of shit dumped on their doorstep. 

Dean tries to swallow, but the motion stops halfway through, and there’s nothing there to force down. 

The last movie night he'd managed to drag Cas into was over a month ago. It might’ve been the last time where either of them were reasonably happy. The last time his lips would tilt up in that small way that knots Dean's stomach. It isn’t fair. It's all wrong, and there’s no way to fix it. No magic is strong enough to bring an angel back, The only witch that could’ve tried is dead too. And any power Heaven could spare wouldn’t be used to help him. There’s only one shot to take, and it's the same useless one everyone’s thought of trying at some point. 

Dean grabs the side of the truck bed and turns his head towards the sky. He sighs. Here goes nothing. "Okay, Chuck. Or God, whatever. We need your help. You said — you said the world would be fine with us. It isn't. We've lost everything." 

He takes a deep breath, rocks his head to the ground. "You left. And I've never asked you for anything. Never begged. But now you're gonna bring him back. Cas. Mom. Hell, even Crowley." His hand tightens. "You owe us, you son of a bitch." 

"Please." It's begging. He knows it is and doesn't care. He’d beg for weeks straight if it wasn’t useless. "Please help us." 

A beat passes. Nothing happens. He didn’t expect it to work. God's never really gave a shit before, has he? 

It's fine. All fine. 

Jack cries when Dean slams the door. He strangles the steering wheel between his hands, hands that itch to inflict. Hit. Destroy. Sure as fuck not to nurture, not to quell the newborn screams, because Cas was wrong. Dean isn’t good at this.

A handful of deep breaths later, he leans down and fishes out a pink pacifier from the bag. Jack latches onto it, his pudgy face relaxed. Blue eyes float up to Dean. Innocent, full. It stings, and Dean turns away before his body uses whatever scraps of water it has left to make him cry again. 

When he brings the engine to life, Zeppelin creeps through the speakers, one track after the next in an order he memorized long before Cas got the chance. 

He plays it front to back on repeat until hunger and exhaustion win out, and he finds a motel.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Mazikeen x Teenage! Reader

You couldn’t believe how defenseless you were when those bullies came for you. How weak you acted cowering in fear instead of standing up for yourself. Your parents were cops for crying out loud you think you would have some type of fighting skills.

Hell even your little sister could kick someone’s ass if she needed to. Thanks to Maze but whenever the woman offered to give you some lessons in self-defense. You turned her offers down thinking that you wouldn’t ever need them, because most kids at your school knew what your parents did for a living. So that pretty much made you untouchable until today the wannabe gangster in your class. Targeted you as her victim because her big brother got busted the night before by cops. 

Because you were the kid of two cops Sam automatically blamed you. As if you snitched on her brother or something. Christ you didn’t didn’t even know who her brother was, and you highly doubted either of your parents made arrests. You tried to explain that cases like that were below their level, but that only made her angrier, and the beating more painful.

You made sure to stop by your friend’s house before going home. So you could use her make-up to cover up your black-eye, busted lip, and the little cuts on your cheek. No doubt your mom was still at work but Maze and Trixie  were both home by now. The last thing you needed were either of them seeing you like this. You were too old to be having someone else fight your battles you could handle this.

“Y/N” came the sound of your little sister’s voice as soon as you walked through the door. Two seconds later Trixie was leaped at you expecting you to catch her like you always did.

You did catch her but had to bite back a groan as pain exploded in your ribs. You grimaced for a second before fixing your face and spinning her around. “Hey kiddo how was school?”

“It was awesome we went on a really cool field trip” Trixie told you excitedly. Oh how you missed those days “oh yeah you can tell me about it later I got a ton of homework to do” You tell her before she can go into too much detail. Trixie nodded and dropped down from your arms. “Ready for your kung fu lessons little human” Maze asked as she walked came from downstairs.

Trixie nodded and just like that she was off “you want in the kid could use a partner” Maze asked you. You were really considering it but the throbbing pain in your side made you decide against it. “Naw I’ll pass maybe next time” You tell her and walk away as quickly as you can. Maze looks at you suspicously before heading to Trixie.

You spent the rest of the day hiding out in your room trying to come up with a solution for your bully problem. Sam had promised that there would be more to come. That she was going to make your life a living hell until her brother got out of jail. As long as he suffered so would you, and even though you hated to admit it. You were kind of scared of Sam she had a gang of friends to back her up. While you were pretty much a loner, and telling a teacher wouldn’t do any good. Most of them would just try giving the bully a stern lecture or call their parents. It never did any good you slam your face into a pillow and let out a scream. What were you going to do?

Maze wasn’t too suspicious when you opted out of kung fu lessons. After all unlike your little sister you never really got to excited about violence. You always preferred to watch or just play with your phone. But you never missed dinner or your little sitcoms that came on. Plus something just felt off about your behavior today. For one you were late coming home from school, you basically blew Trixie off, and she hadn’t missed that painful look on your face. When from the hug normally Maze would just text Chloe when you acted weird. So she would know to talk to you when she got home, but her case would keep her out all night. 

“Hey y/n your half of the pizza is getting cold might wanna come get it before Trixie devours it” she yelled. Banging on your door you were cocooned in your blankets with your head buried beneath the pillows. You hadn’t come up with any good plan to put a stop to the bullying . The frustration got to you so bad that you just ended up crying. Food was the last thing on your mind right now. “I’m not hungry You yelled back although your voice was muffled.” Okay something was definitely wrong with you.

Maze opened the door and was surprised to see you were in the dark. She flipped the light switch on and let out a sigh at the sight of you all wrapped up. “Alright bigger human come out of that blanket shield and talk to me” she demanded. At first you shook your head no but then realized she probably couldn’t see that. “No just go away Maze” You yelled trying to sound irritated but your voice cracked. She would definitely think you were weak and pathetic. One thing you forgot about Maze she wasn’t going to argue with you or bargain at all. 

You let a yelp as you tumbled onto the floor from the result of Maze pulling on the blankets till they unraveled. Luckily enough the blankets also cushioned your fall so it didn’t really hurt. But your bruised ribs didn’t take the fall so lightly either causing you to let out a pained groan while gripping your side. Alright I probably should’ve been gentler Maze thought. “You ready to tell me what’s going on? How did you get hurt?” 

You get up and take a seat on the bed but refuse to look at Maze or answer her questions. Filled with too much shame to tell her the truth and know she’ll see the lie coming from a mile away. What she does next surprises you Maze sits beside you and wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder pulling you to her. “Come on whatever is it can’t be that bad I won’t tell your mom if that’s what you’re worried about” she says with a smirk. She probably thinks that you beat someone up or pulled off a prank getting yourself hurt in the process. You could run with either of those lies but that would do no good.

“I got beat up by these stupid kids in my grade today after school” you whispered secretly hoping she didn’t hear you. Maze instantly went into to protective mode jumping up and pulling out two knives. “Someone hurt you who are they and where do they live? I’ll take care of them.” 

“Maze no you can’t hurt them they’re too young you would go to jail” You tell her with your hands held up motioning for her to calm down.

To your relief Maze put the knives away but then turned her attention back to you “why didn’t you fight back and kick their ass?” You look down a the floor when you answer “because I don’t know how to defend myself, and there was like 4 of them. Maze wanted to go back on the offense she wanted to know who hurt you, so she could take care of them. But you were right it wasn’t like in Hell there were too many rules here in place. You would have to take care of this, and she was going to show you how. “Come on kung fu class in back in session she says motioning for you to follow her.

You opened your mouth to protest but Maze stopped you with one determined glance. “The only way to deal with bullies is to show them you’re no one to be messed with. I’m going to teach you how and tomorrow you’re going to put it to good use.

“But what about mom? she’ll freak out when the school calls her” You say nervously. “Like I said we don’t have to tell your mom, and don’t worry I’ll make sure the school calls me instead” Maze reassures you. Finally she drags you downstairs where Trixie has eaten your half of the pizza, and is excited to help you learn kung fu.

Maze teaches all sorts of moves ranging from mildly painful to downright deadly, but warns you not to use the deadly ones. By the time y’all are done there’s a part of you that can’t wait to go to school tomorrow. Your mom comes in at around 1 am and just as promised. Maze doesn’t tell her a thing she decides that she’ll let Chloe know after you get your revenge.

The Next Day 

Sam wastes no time in hunting down before first period can even start. She locates you at your locker leaning up against whistling a happy tune. “You’re pretty relaxed for someone who’s about to be stuffed in your locker” she says cracking her knuckles. You just smirk and roll your shoulders and take a lazy fighting stance. Her three lackeys laugh at you and all of them start walking towards you. It doesn’t take long before a crowd has appeared around you and the bullies. Oh you were definitely going to enjoy this.

An hour later 

At first Maze was beyond annoyed at whoever woke her up at this ungodly hour and was going to maim. Whoever was on the other end of the cellphone until your principal told her. She needed to come down to the school now because they couldn’t reach Chloe or Dan courtesy of her meddling. She swiped your mom’s phone last night while she was in the shower forcing her to just to just leave without it this morning. She got Lucifer who was always eager to mess with Dan to get rid of your dad’s phone. Leaving her as the only option for the school to call.

She wants to observe the damage you did when she gets to the school, but sadly all four kids are in the nurse’s offices. With bloody noses possibly broken, black eyes, busted lips, and more. You sit in the principal’s office with a proud look on your face. When Maze finally arrives with a bored look on hers “you called me” she says jerking her chin at your principal. She took a seat beside you and propped her feet up on the desk.

The principal’s eyes widened slightly at Maze’s actions she wasn’t who she expected at all. “Um yes Ms.Smith it seems y/n assaulted four of her classmates today one of them has a broken arm and one a concussion-” she pauses on her explanation. At the sight of Maze holding up her fist which you bump before crossing your arms again. “Nice job kid” Maze praises you making the principal gape.

“You do realize she is going to be suspended possibly expelled for her actions” The principal exclaimed angrily. “Really because those kids assaulted her yesterday and y’all did nothing” Maze fired back. “That doesn’t give her a right to beat them up she should’ve came to us the principal protested. Although she gulped as Maze suddenly stood up and walked around the desk to her pushing her chair to the wall. You sat up in anticipation of what was about to happen.

“And exactly what would you have done to prevent from happening today? Would you have expelled or suspended them on sight or lead some stupid investigation?” The principal just babbled incoherently trying to explain the process because without any hardcore evidence of bullying. The school definitely wouldn’t have done anything solid today to protect you. “See so y/n had to take this situation into her own hands” Maze tells her leaning in closer to the principal. Who is starting to shake a little bit in the chair out of fear.

“Hey Maze come on you don’t want want to make things worse” You tell her with a nervous chuckle. No doubt afraid of what would happen when your mom eventually found out. Maze nodded and backed away but it was too late the principal had made up her mind. “Take your godchild and leave she is EXPELLED” the terrified lady yelled.

Later on that day

Chloe stared you down while you squirmed under scrutinizing gaze all the bravo you felt earlier gone. Your mom did find out when the school finally managed to reach her through her job, and told her what happened. Chloe made it home in a record time from the police station and found you with Maze recounting the event. Of what went down when Sam and her crew tried to force you in her locker. She was engrossed with your story until she saw Chloe behind you with one eyebrow raised.

You paused your story and slowly turned around Chloe pointed to the chair beside Maze, and you sat down. Your eyes now focused on the floor “Maze you can go we’ll talk later I need a minute with y/n” you heard Maze get up and leave. You were still to nervous to gather up the courage too look at your mom. You realized how wrong you were she was more disappointed in you for getting in trouble. Than she would’ve been if you had just told her the truth and gotten her to handle it.

“Hey tiger its okay you can look at me” Chloe told you. The nickname coming from your love of wildcats. You looked to the side instead making her sigh and grip your chin gently. Chloe made you look at her to your surprise she had a softened expression on her face. Not an angry one like you thought she would.

“Did those kids really hurt you?” she asked frowning slightly. You nodded wanting to look away again but Chloe wouldn’t let you. 

“Why didn’t you come to me y/n? I would’ve taken care of it.” Chloe looked sad at the fact that you didn’t trust her enough to come to her with your problems. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. I felt like I should’ve been able to handle myself you know You explained.”

“Oh sweetheart you never have to handle things on your own. No matter what it is you can tell me and I promise I’ll help you with it.” With those words Chloe pulled you into her arms you hugged her back a few tears falling from your eyes. 

“Does this mean I’m not in trouble?” you ask hopefully. 

Chloe laughs as she pulls away for a second “no you’re grounded indefinitely and no more kung fu lessons from Maze.”

“Hey that’s not fair Decker the kid did good” Maze yells from the stairs making you laugh and Chloe frown.

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Different Worlds (5)

Summary: You’re the youngest Winchester, a girl who needs to show her big brothers that she doesn’t need help. Then one day, on a totally normal vampire hunt that you had all under control, three meddling Avengers come barging in.

Warnings: language, violence, canon divergence, slow burn, me making stuff up

Word Count: 2001

~*~

Chapter 5: Answers and Headaches

The Winchesters led the Avengers to a large, run-down building that was secluded in the woods. Bucky looked at Steve, then back at the building. If this was a trap, they could take them. The two Winchesters didn’t have any magic… that he knew of. 

“We’re home!” (Y/N) shouted as she opened a door to reveal a large, open room. The inside was much nicer than the outside.

She went down the metal staircase first, followed by her brother and the strange man in the trench coat. The Avengers went down after them, one by one. Tony had collapsed his nanotech suit, but Bucky saw that he kept one of his repulsors on his hand. 

A tall man with shaggy brown hair walked out of the next room. His already annoyed expression became darker when he noticed Bucky and the rest of the Avengers. The next person to greet them was a young man with dark brown hair. His expression was similar to the first man’s, but when he saw the superheroes, his expression brightened. Then the red-haired book thief walked in next. Her large smile grew larger when she saw the large group of people. 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked when he noticed their expressions. 

“We,” the tall man forced a smile, “have a guest.”

“A guest that isn’t the superhero group behind us?” (Y/N) clarified. 

Then a dark-haired man in a black suit swaggered in to join everyone. The redhead, Bucky thought he heard (Y/N) call her Rowena, smiled even wider. 

“Hello, Squirrel,” the man said to Dean in a British accent. Then he turned to (Y/N). “Do I have a nickname for you, dear? Rabbit? Do you like carrots?”

“Crowley,” Dean growled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Came to visit my mummy.” Crowley gestured to Rowena. Bucky’s mind really couldn’t keep up with all this. “I caught wind that she had a very special book.”

“Can we just put everything on pause,” Steve interrupted, “and catch us up to speed?”

The rest of the Avengers mumbled their agreement. 

“Everyone into the library,” (Y/N) ordered.

Everyone walked into the next room and found a seat at one of the tables. The Avengers on one side, (Y/N) and her gang on the other. 

“First, introductions,” Tony spoke up. “You know who we are.”

“Meh,” (Y/N) shrugged. “I don’t follow your shitty reality TV show lives.”

The billionaire opened his mouth in offense but Bucky smiled at her. She smiled back and then quickly looked away. Was she blushing?

“I’m Captain America but you can call me Steve Rogers,” Steve began. “This is my friend Bucky Barnes, he was the Winter Soldier, and my other friend Sam Wilson. He’s the Falcon.” He introduced the rest of the present Avengers, pointing at them when he said their name and superhero alias. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Uh, I’m (Y/N) Winchester.” She gave a small wave. “My brothers: Sam and Dean. That’s Castiel, we call him Cas, Jack, and Rowena. Then there’s Crowley.”

“And that was actually Lucifer back there? The Devil? Satan?” the Avengers’ Sam asked. The Winchesters, Cas, and Jack nodded in confirmation. 

“So what the fuck even happened at the cafe?” Clint raised his hand like he was in school. 

“Lucifer escaped,” Cas explained in a low voice. “We used the Magicae Libro and Rowena as bait to trap him again.”

“The ‘Magicae Libro?’” Nat asked. “The Magic Book? Very creative.”

“They didn’t need to be creative when it was the only one,” (Y/N) pointed out. Bucky saw Cas narrow his eyes at her.

“The Magicae Libro is the world’s first spellbook,” said Cas. “Written by witches who were guided by Lucifer.”

“Goddamned witches are a thing too?” Bucky thought about all the supernatural entities he had learned about in the past month: vampires, ghosts, Satan, and now witches? What else was there?

“Yes, ‘goddamned witches’ are a thing,” the Scottish woman said in a slightly harsh tone. “I’m a witch. One of the most powerful, I would say.”

“So who took the Devil?” Tony put everyone back on track. 

“Some angels.” (Y/N) shrugged like it was no big deal. 

“Angels?” multiple Avengers exclaimed.

“Yes, we exist,” Cas answered in prediction to the questions heading his way. 

“You’re an angel?” Steve’s eyes were wide with awe. 

“So Lucifer and angels exist,” Wanda began, “does that mean God and demons exist too?”

“Yes.” (Y/N)’s side of the table answered simultaneously. 

“Are you sure?”

“Considering I am literally the King of Hell,” Crowley said proudly as his eyes turned blood-red, “I am very sure.”

“And God?” 

“Chuck can go suck a dick, honestly,” (Y/N) blurted out. 

“Chuck?”

“My grandfather went by the pen name ‘Chuck Shurley’ for a while,” Jack explained. “He still insists to be called ‘Chuck.’”

“Grandfather?” Clint raises his eyebrows. 

“God has a fucking pen name?”

“Grandfather!?”

“Why does ‘Chuck Shurley’ sound familiar?” Nat tapped her finger on the table as she tried to remember. 

“Grandfather!?”

“He wrote a shit ton of books based on our lives,” Dean shook his head. “He called it ‘Supernatural.’”

“Grandfather!?”

Wanda sucked in a breath and looked at Nat. “I think we read one of the books during a girl’s night.”

“GRANDFATHER!?” Clint was shouting now. 

“My father is Lucifer. I’m a Nephilim,” Jack unhelpfully explained. Bucky swore that every time they tried to explain something, more questions would arise. 

“Please explain,” Tony groaned and rubbed his head.

“A Nephilim is—”

“I know what a Nephilim is. How is your father the fucking Devil?”

“My mother was Kelly Kline,” the young man said before he was interrupted again.

“Wasn’t she President Rooney’s aide?” Steve asked.

“Yes. My father briefly possessed the President of the United States.” Jack was only met with silence as the Avengers tried to wrap their head around the very large info dump. Bucky could see (Y/N) trying to hide a smirk. “He got my mother pregnant. She died giving birth to me.”

“I thought she only died in 2017?”

“This kiddo is only seven years old.” (Y/N) placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“I need a break.” Tony placed his head on the table. 

“I’ll get some beers,” Dean offered and left the room. 

~*~

You walked over to Bucky with your beer in hand. He gave you a charming smile as you sat down in the chair that was just recently vacated by Steve.

“How are you doing?” you asked.

“Fine, I guess.” Bucky studied your face and you could feel your face warm up. “Are you some supernatural being too?”

“Nope. I’m nothing special.”

“I think you’re very special.”

“Even my brothers are more special than me,” you sighed.

“I think you’re greatly underestimating your value, doll.”

Your heart fluttered at the nickname. You usually hated talking about yourself but Bucky’s compliments were nice. Very nice.

“S-so do you think this is below your paygrade?”

“Sweetheart,” you blushed at the second nickname, “I think this is above my paygrade. It’s above all of our paygrades.”

“You guys deal with this stuff a lot?” Steve joined the conversation.

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrugged. “Sometimes we just go on small hunts. Some monsters would be killing people and hunters go get rid of them. For some reason, it’s always me and my brothers who have to deal with the Apocalypse or the random angel who wants to be God.”

“The Apocalypse happened?”

“We stopped the Apocalypse from happening.”

“When?”

“Way before you guys formed,” your Sam said. “Like in 2009.”

“I had just become Iron Man,” Tony shook his head, “and you guys stopped the Apocalypse?”

“Sometimes I miss the Apocalypse,” you confess. “Simpler times.”

“Definitely simpler than the fucking leviathans,” Dean agreed.

“Oh, Chuck. I hated the leviathans.”

“Let’s skip over the fact that you miss the fucking Apocalypse and move on to ‘What is a leviathan?’” Avenger Sam asked.

“We accidentally opened a portal to Purgatory in 2012 and a bunch of shapeshifting leviathans escaped.”

“Have you heard of Dick Roman?” You looked around the room at each member of the Avengers. Tony, Natasha, and Clint nodded. “He was the leviathan leader.”

“You said they were shapeshifters,” Bucky said slowly. “Did they impersonate you three and go on a killing spree?”

“Yep!” You beamed at him. You don’t know why, but it felt like a weight lifted off your chest when Bucky knew you weren’t actually a serial killer.

“You face monsters and it seems that all odds are against you,” Natasha pointed out. “You guys must be good at your jobs if you’re still alive.”

“Oh, no,” Dean corrected. You smiled. Their reaction was going to be hilarious. “All of us here have died before. Multiple times.”

The Avengers looked like fish, opening and closing their mouths as they processed the information.

“How?” Bucky looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Sammy was stabbed and I made a deal with a demon to bring him back,” Dean started. “Because of the deal, I was dragged to hell until Cas dragged my ass back out. Then there was the whole Mark of Cain thing when I became a demon.”

“The good times,” Crowley sighed as he reminisced.

“I was stuck in a time loop once where Dean died every day.” Your Sam shuddered at the memory.

“Remember when those two hunters killed you ‘cause you started the Apocalypse?” You smirk. You had missed that fateful night as you were off hunting somewhere else.

“Raphael made me explode. Then Lucifer exploded me. Then I imploded because of the leviathans. Then I was stabbed by some lady. Then Lucifer killed me again.”

“God smote me.” Jack frowned.

“Lucifer killed me twice,” Rowena said simply as she looked at her nails.

“I had to die to become a demon.”

“I was smote… smited… smoted,” you gave up and continued, “by Gadreel, an angel, when he possessed Sammy. Then I was mauled by a werewolf.” You wrinkled your nose at the memory. Honestly, you didn’t know which one was worse but you ended up in Hell both times. That was literally a pain in the ass.

“You guys really know how to throw a party,” Tony snarked.

“I don’t see how that’s a party,” Natasha responded.

“I understood that reference!” Steve said with a smile on his face.

“I don’t understand that reference.” Cas looked around, confused.

You sighed and changed the topic, “Do you have any more questions?”

“Well, yes,” Avenger Sam said. “But I don’t think I have the mental capacity for any of the answers.

“That’s for sure,” you heard Bucky say. You let out a snort and Avenger Sam glared at both of you.

“Then it’s time for you all to leave,” Dean announced. “Thanks for stopping by and drinking our beer, but now we have to get back to work.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed and stood up. “We have some work to do as well.”

The Avengers made their way back into the map room and up the metal staircase. They said goodbye one by one and left the bunker until only Bucky was left.

“I hope I’ll see you again,” you said and held out your hand.

“I hope so too.” He took your hand with both of his. How did you not notice his left hand, and possibly arm, was metal? “I want to learn more about you and your work.”

“You know where I live now. See you ‘round, Bucky.”

He smiled, dropped your hand, and gave you one last wave before he left. You knew you had a stupid smile on your face, but for once you let yourself be happy. You stood there for a minute before Rowena broke the silence.

“I thought they’d never leave!” she exclaimed. “I just wanted to play with the Magicae Libro.” A moment of silence. “Where is the Magicae Libro?”

“Where’s Crowley?” Jack asked and you all looked around the library.

“Aw, fuck!”

~*~

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Tag List (strike though means tag didn’t work):

@grav3dollie-666 @broco8​ 

[drsilverfish]

The Rupture/ The Rapture - Subtextual Grammar and Castiel’s Relationship to Dean in 15x03

Hey everyone,

Catching up British time and just seen the ep, so looking forward to seeing all your posts and gifs shortly! Firstly, some musings of my own.

Has Berens’ ripped everyone’s hearts out already? That’s some pretty potent symbolism right there for heartbreak huh? (Sorry Ketch):

The Rupture recalls, in subtext, through visual symbolism, Castiel’s long narrative journey in relation to Dean. So that Dean and Cas’ break-up, already foreshadowed by Chuck and Amara’s “divorce” in Reno last week, at the end of the episode (for those following the symbolism) is given extra punch. 

Firstly, the title, The Rupture 15x03 deliberately recalls, following Dabb’s ouroboros (circular/ spiral) narrative structure, The Rapture 4x20. That episode was critical for Dean and Castiel’s relationship. Castiel rebelled against Heaven and entered Dean’s dreams (his intimate space) in order to try to warn him about the angels’ plans by passing him a love note:

In the subtextual grammar of the show, that pier incident, has become a symbol of Dean and Castiel’s intimate connection. For example in 14x10 Nihilism, you can see a pier at sunset with a figure standing on it in the background on the wall, behind Dean’s mind-Pamela:

And remember, mind-Pamela profoundly represents Dean’s feelings for Castiel in that episode. Recall her costume, with the winged necklace and the T-shirt symbolising Dean’s salvation from Hell by Cas? And mind-Pamela, in Rocky’s Bar, is someone Dean wants, but thinks he can’t have.

Of course, Castiel was dragged back to Heaven and punished for his disobedience in 4x20 The Rapture, yet, eventually, as we know, he rebelled again and chose to help Dean over Heaven. So, when Berens recalls The Rapture in his episode title, The Rupture, it is to remind us just how much Castiel has sacrificed for Dean. 

“I rebelled, and I did it, all of it.... for you” (5x02 Good God Y’All).

As Cas said to Dean last week, in 15x02 Raising Hell, what’s “real”, despite Chuck’s machinations?: “We are.”  

Cas can see (at that point) that his connection to Dean has profound meaning, at least for him (a profound bond, indeed) because Dean helped Cas finally break free of Heaven’s control. Something (we learn in 8x21 The Great Escapist) that Cas had been trying over and over to do for aeons, only to be mind-wiped and re-programmed again and again. Naomi tries to torture re-programme Cas, yet again, in 8x17 Goodbye Stranger, by getting him to murder endless Dean clones in Heaven (making it very clear that the source of Castiel’s free will and resistance is his connection to Dean specifically). BUT Cas’ bond with Dean is too strong, and he breaks free of Naomi’s conditioning when faced with the real Dean, bloodied and on his knees, telling him: “I need you.”

If anything in Chuck’s multiverse symbolises free will it is Castiel’s rebellion against Heaven for Dean. 

What Cas isn’t clear on, by 15x03, is that the “profound bond” continues to have any meaning for Dean himself. As he says, bitterly to Belphegor:

Cas: “Sam and Dean are just using you. Don’t mistake that for caring about you, because I an assure you, they don’t.”

Bel: “Wow, you learn that the hard way?”

The symbolism, of Castiel’s journey in relation to Dean, continues in 15x03 in the visual grammar, as we see Cas, literally, jumping into Hell:

which of course recalls what we all know so well - that Cas fought his way into Hell and rescued Dean from Alastair’s clutches and resurrected him:

Castiel (to Dean): “When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to Hell, and we fought our way to get to you...” (4x16 On the Head of a Pin). 

This shot of Dean and Cas together in 15x03, literally at Hell’s mouth, with a gravestone between them, likewise symbolises that event (Castiel’s resurrection of Dean from Hell) as well as the present “death” of their relationship:

So, it’s no accident that the magical object Castiel is tricked by Belphegor into retrieving from Hell in 15x03 is Lilith’s crook. Because (as in the 4x16 quote above) Lilith was the demon who worked to ensure Dean was dragged to Hell, to be broken by Alastair (whom Belphegor re-mentioned, also not by accident, in 15x01 Back and to the Future) thus breaking the first seal to jumpstart Lucifer’s return and the apocalypse.

All these reminders of Castiel’s significance to Dean, of Castiel’s salvation of Dean, of how they averted Chuck’s apocalpyse before (in S5), together, at the very moment of their break-up.... 

So, when we see Castiel on his knees in Hell, reluctantly singing a praise hymn in Enochian to Lucifer in order to achieve access to Lilith’s crook, aka magic horn? (Belphegor explicitly refers to the crook as a “horn”).  

Well, in subtext, the magic horn (Lilith’s crook) can be read as a sexual metaphor. 

This symbolism is the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane - an angel at prayer in Hell. 

And following the shot of Cas kneeling in Hell, we get this shot of Dean, looking down into the Hell-mouth...

A visual reversal of Castiel’s rescue of Dean from Hell in S4.

Castiel passes the “magic horn” to the demon wearing the body of his beloved son, Jack:

 Jack who always, in subtext, symbolised the (forbidden) love between Dean and Castiel (his adoptive parents) because, as a Nephilim, he was the product of (forbidden) human-angel congress. 

Here at the start of S15, we know Castiel is losing his angelic powers after trying to heal Sam’s God-wound, and the show has previously been quite clear that becoming human entangles Cas in the world of human sexuality. We’ve seen that in 5x04 The End  with Castiel and the orgies he shares with Future!Dean:

And we also saw it (crudely drawn by Bucklemming) in 9x03 I’m No Angel, when newly fallen Human!Cas has survival sex with the Reaper possessing April (yes, ugh - consent issues all round):

Belphegor pleading with Cas in Jack’s voice reminds us of everything Jack meant to Cas. Cas, after all, once towed Heaven’s party line and regarded Nephilim as “abominations”. We saw that in 8x22 Clip Show, when Metatron  inveigled Cas into killing a Nephilim, in order to obtain her heart, for his (subtext-heavy) angel-fall spell, and we also saw it in the flash-back sequences in 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets when Cas believed Akobel deserved to die for (supposedly) fathering a Nephilim child with Lily.  

What was once profane to Cas has become sacred. 

Jack, and loving Jack, represented (among other things) for Castiel, some kind of accommodation with his own secret heart. If the child of an angel (Lucifer, no less) and a human could NOT be a monster, then maybe an angel loving a human might not be monstrous either, despite Heaven’s edicts. 

But then Jack (apparently) killed Mary, and the Winchester family, whose always previously shaky membership (for Cas), Jack’s co-adoption with Sam and Dean had cemented for him, was blown apart. 

In 15x03 Cas is forced to kill Belphegor wearing the body of Jack:

And the death of Jack’s Nephilim (human-angel union) image, becomes, in the visual grammar, a metaphor for the death of Castiel’s hope of any continuing union between him and Dean - the death, on Dean’s part, Cas believes, of the profound bond. Hence we get a corpse-shot:

And Castiel’s tears:

Castiel echoes (having absorbed them) Dean’s unkind (grief-stricken) words to him from 14x18 Absence, “You’re dead to me!”

Cas (to Dean): “I’m dead to you.” (15x03).

After everything they’ve been through together (to Hell and back, as carefully illustrated in the visual grammar of 15x03) Castiel has utterly lost hope that he has any remaining emotional meaning for Dean; without Jack, without Mary, without his powers.  

Walking away (as the Winchester family signature music plays poignantly in the background) is a huge (and ultimately positive) step for Cas, who has, over the years, more and more built his identity and his meaning around his connection to the Winchesters, following his long rebellion against (and rejection by) Heaven. After everything Cas has been through (the narrative suggests) he deserves to be his own person, to be loved for himself (not his powers) and not to be taken for granted. 

And so we are left with the LOUD narrative negative space of Dean’s silence at the end.

 We can see Dean’s tense body language, in the final shot, half poised as if to spring forward, half frozen to the spot, as Cas leaves:

That silence in the narrative structure, which is mirrored in the symbolism of the ghosts/ demons being temporarily re-bottled up in Hell (like Dean’s feelings) as well as in the re-death of the feminine in the form of Rowena (because the feminine in the grammar of SPN = feelings) DEMANDS words, at some point down the road. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean kicked him out of the Bunker (thanks to Dean’s coercive pact with Gadreel) and we saw Cas’ broken-hearted suffering over that break-up in 9x06 Heaven Can’t Wait (Berens’ very first episode for SPN):

This time, Cas has more agency. He decides to initiate the break-up, because his heart (and how very human of you, Cas) can’t bear being treated to Dean’s silence, Dean’s anger and Dean’s (apparent) indifference any longer. 

Now, we need not only to see Dean come to his own broken-hearted realisation over this (reverse) break-up (after all, we’ve seen Dean broken-hearted over losing Cas, to death, before now) but for Cas to see that realisation, in Dean. 

In The Rapture (4x20) we are told the story of how Castiel the angel came to take Jimmy Novak as a vessel - how the angel we know became conjoined to the human-form we best know him in:

 In The Rupture (15x03) Castiel is losing his angelic powers again, moving once more towards inhabiting Jimmy Novak’s vessel, which is now his own body (Jimmy’s soul long-gone, and indeed that body destroyed and yet resurrected AS Cas, several times), as a human. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean missed his shot. How about this time?

The Ouroboros narrative is taking its final turn.     

My usual disclaimer: subtextual readings do not inevitably indicate or imply that textual romantic declarations will be forthcoming between Dean and Cas. That element of the story has been told in subtext for 10 years (and that’s where it quite likely will remain, in the terrain of ambiguity). Subtext IS however, part of narrative.

Nevertheless, an emotional reconcilliation of some sort, however readable as “brotherly”, comrades-in-armsy, nebulously “familial” etc. is, by story-logic, absolutely inevitable. 

That which is parted will be re-joined - Chuck to Amara, Cas to Dean. 

[starryvioletnight]

Take it From the Top

Summary: A destiel fix-it fic/fluff piece. Not really one or the other. Death and Dean talk about Dean taking his ring to put Lucifer away. Death has other matters to discuss. Enjoy~

You raised your little brother for love,

you fought for this world for love,

that is who you are.

You’re the most caring man on earth, 

you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.

Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell,

knowing you has changed me.

Because you cared, I cared.

I cared about you,

I cared about Sam,

I cared about Jack.

I cared about the whole world, because of you.

You changed me Dean.

...Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

I love you.

Don’t do this Cas.

Goodbye, Dean.

Dean sputtered a breath as he looked up at the pale, sunken face of the Horseman. All he’d asked for was his ring, to open Lucifer’s cell and send him back down to hell, so the world wouldn’t end and they could all keep on living. He hadn’t noticed that time had stopped around them, that the world seemed too crisp.

“What the hell was that?” He rasped. He reached for the water, but the cup wouldn’t move. Everything was permanently frozen in its place. “I need a drink, god damn it.”

“Sorry, but if I allow one thing to move, then Chuck will be able to move. I’d rather avoid that if I could.” He folded his fingers together on the table top, and watched Dean with harrowing eyes. “I’m tired of bouncing from world to world just because he gets tired of his toys and wants to start again. I especially don’t like that you two meatheads somehow end up killing me in this entire mess you two make. Now I’m offering you a one time deal, and you’d best take it.” 

Dean wasn’t listening the closest. He was staring at the water. He snapped his head up and looked at Death. “Lay it on me.”

“You’re going to take my ring. You’re going to put Lucifer away. You’re going to think Sam is dead, and you’re going to forget about Adam.”

“But-!”

“You will, Dean Winchester.” He says, his tone a warning. “You’re going to play out all that I just showed you, up until you get that bloody mark on your arm. When Abaddon rears her head, and you need a way to kill her, I will craft you a weapon that can do the trick.” 

“But what if Sam or Cas get suspicious that you’re helping us.” 

“Think of something.” He says dully. “And be prepared to not see your mother again, that will not happen because Amara is never going to get free. And once Chuck has served his purpose, I will reap him myself.” His eyes never wavered from Dean’s.

“Do we… really have to go through all that pain and suffering? Why can’t we fix this all now and gank the SOB?” He frowned. “What’s the point?”

“There’s certain things that have to happen. Fixed points in time.” He told him calmly. “But in the end, you will all be alive and well and get your ‘happily ever after’.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. “Don’t do anything stupid with this knowledge, Dean. If Chuck finds out either one of us is on to him, we could create a chain reaction that would see the end of your reality in a blink of an eye.”

Dean frowned. Frustrated, a little exasperated, but all the same he nodded. “Fine. Just tell me when we’re all safe, okay?”

“Agreed.” Death took off his ring and handed it to the elder Winchester. “Don’t muck it up. I like the food here.”

Dante snorted and shook his head. He took the ring and stared at it, the weight of the future hanging on his shoulders. He couldn’t believe all he was going to allow to happen.

 The bunker was empty. Sam had taken Jack out for the night. The world had become… mostly calm. They still hunted demons, and monsters. Dean didn’t think that’d ever change. But so much of the other stuff had. No more apocalyptic threats. Death had sworn it. It was done, taken care of. All of it.

Dean walked to the library and sat down. He propped his feet up and pulled out his phone. He scrolled down to Cas’ number. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. He called the number.

“Hello Dean.” Cas answered. Same as always. Same old Cas.

“Hey, Cas. I uh, had a question to ask you. Do you got a minute?” He asked, and scratched the back of his head. 

“I suppose.” Dean heard some shuffling, and then a car door shut. “What is on your mind?”

“What do you think would make you happiest in the world?” He blurted. “Like, if your life depended on you being happy, what would it be?”

There was a quiet moment. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Cas asked. “If someone is there, let me know someway.”

“No, no Cas I’m not being held against my will. I doubt a killer would let me phone a friend in that situation anyway.” He said. “I’m just… curious.”

“Well,” Cas took a moment to think. “I think being with you, Jack and Sam would do it. All of us, having a drink or, watching cartoons. Something relaxing, fun.”

“Yeah?” Dean picked at his jeans as he listened. “All four of us, huh?”

“Yes, why?” Again, Cas’ worry came back.

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m serious when I say I’m not captured. This ain’t a life or death situation.” Not really, anyway. But it did feel like it. “Cas.. how do you feel… about me?”

“Close? We have known each other a long, long time. Calling us anything less than friends would be a disservice to what we have been through.”

Dean paused and took a shaky breath. “Do you think… happiness is… just being? Do you think you need to have happiness, or can you just, be happy, ya know?”

Another, long pause. “Dean, this feels like a goodbye of some kind. And I do not like it.”

Dean can’t help but laugh. Yeah, yeah it did sound like a goodbye, because that’s what it was. It had been a goodbye, one that had haunted Dean for so many goddamned years before now. And now, he could finally say it. He had had years to prepare for this moment. And fuck he hadn’t prepared a single line. 

“How quickly can you be home, Cas?”

“Maybe an hour?”

“Try to speed. I want to see you.”

 Time seemed to drag on, as Dean paced the bunker in anticipation for what was coming. Castiel was going to be there any moment, and he wasn’t ready. Years of knowing this was coming, and he wasn’t ready. Unbelievable. He paced the halls and rooms, trying to rehearse cheesy lines that fell flat the moment they hit the air. What could he say? What would summarize years of unrequited pining, on both ends?

The door opened and Dean jolted, before he hid behind a pillar. 

“Dean?” The angel’s voice echoed in the mostly empty room. “Dean I’m here… what did you need?”

He’d always be there when Dean called. He knew that. He just had to say it. He had to make the first move. He stepped out from behind the pillar. “Hey Cas.”

“Why were you hidden?” Cas did that cute little head tilt and Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Are you okay?”

Dean stepped forward until they were closer. Not super close. Maybe too close? Dean couldn’t tell. “Cas, if I had mere moments to live, and the only thing that would save me was thinking of the happiest thing I could…” He paused and took a deep breath. “I would think of telling you that you are one of the most important people in my life. You’ve helped Sam and I again, and again, and again. You’ve always tried to do the right thing-”

“Even when it was the wrong thing.” Cas chimed in. And Dean laughed.

“Even when it was the wrong thing. But you always tried to do better. Be better, for me and Sam, and now Jack. And… I really admire that about you. I think it’s one of your best qualities.”

“It really started with you.” Cas nodded. “You taught me a lot, over my years on earth. Team free will, and all that.” He smiled and shrugged. Like he was trying to joke and be serious at the same time. He wasn’t good at that, and Dean would have to tell him later.

“Well uh, good to hear, I guess.” He was so fucking nervous. “Cas… I have something really important to tell you, okay?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean took a very deep breath, pursed his lips, and then mumbled, “I love you man.”

“Dean?” Cas looked confused.

“I said I love you!”

His voice echoed in the empty bunker, and Cas blinked. So they stood there, and Dean shifted on his feet. They both kinda looked around, before Cas finally cleared his throat. “I love you too, Dean.” 

Dean whipped his head to make eye contact with him. “Yeah? Like, for real?”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. 

“Not like, not as bros.”

“No.”

“Or as friends? Or like-”

Cas grabbed Dean and pulled him down. He kissed him. And Dean kissed back, and his eyes were closing and the world was spinning as he became light headed. His heart raced and his brain screamed, this is so, so right. This is how it was supposed to end. It had to have been.

Cas broke the kiss first, both taking half a second to catch their breath before Dean kissed him again, and gripped the lapels of his trench coat, Cas’ hands moving down his body to wrap around his middle. Nothing else mattered, nothing but this.

Dean eventually, after a few minutes at least, broke the kiss and panted shallowly, his body weak. Then, he laughed a little, and hugged Cas tight, who hugged back immediately. “You gotta practice kissing, man.” Dean teased.

“Thank god I have someone to practice with.” Cas chuckled. “Also, I doubt my kissing was that bad. I have had few complaints.”

“Was the pizza man a good teacher?” Dean asked cheekily, remembering way back when. 

“I’d like to think so.”

“It wasn’t terrible, I’ll give you that.” Dean pecked his lips one more time. “I can’t believe-”

Cas pecked his lips back, cutting him off. “I know. It’s liberating. But there’s something-”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. “What? What could possibly be on your mind?”

Another quick peck. “How do we tell Sam and Jack?”

Dean paused. He looked away a moment, and pursed his lips in mock thought. “Honestly? I don’t give a damn.”

Cas laughed. The two moved to the couch, never breaking contact. Once seated, Cas climbed onto Dean’s lap and cuddled up to him, the Winchester holding his angel closely. Dean ended up falling asleep like that, and Cas would never dream of waking him.

[fndmxreader]

TITLE :   a cry for help comes in different tones . PAIRINGS :   none as of right now,  this is the start of an angels x reader series i’m working on and this is just the set up . WARNINGS : self harm in the form of punching a tile and breaking knuckles, nothing beyond that.   INSPO : she lives in the shadow of a lonely girl, voice so quiet you don't hear a word, always talking but she can't be heard. you can see her there if you catch her eye, i know she's brave but it's trapped inside, scared to talk but she don't know why. 

    BEING THE LIGHT WAS NEVER APART OF THE PLAN .     you were always an optimistic,  always trying to see THE GOOD even when the bad was just STRAIGHT EVIL,  you always wanted to give people a chance,  human or creature,  it doesn’t matter  .   THE HUNTER WITH A HEART OF GOLD is what they call you,  THE WINCHESTER THAT HESITATES .       at first you didn’t mind being labeled these things,  if there is one thing that came with being a hunter,  it meant losing humanity  -  losing faith in those you walk beside,  the work can consume you and twist you into something that made people flinch .  to be these things just meant the life didn’t destroy you,   that your trauma didn’t overpower who you truly wanted to be ...  or so you thought .  

   IT HAD BEEN THE SMALLEST TRIGGER,   so small that you aren’t even sure what it was anymore .  but it was the floodgate for something bigger,  something more .  which is why you were in the shower,  fist clenched tightly and punching the tile walls until your knuckles bled,  until the tile of the cheap motel room began to fall apart and fracture    “  FUCK YOU “  it fell from your lips easily,  an angry spout of venom at no one in particular,    “  ANGELS  ?  G... GOD,  who ever is listening ... WHY  ? “   forehead fell forward,  now broken knuckles resting against the wall,  all weight being forced onto it causing a violent shooting pain to go down your wrist and arm,  but at the moment,  you couldn’t bring yourself to care  “  i know you all get that a lot,  but why  ?  i just want everything to be okay again,  i want dean and sam to be happy,  i don’t even care about me,  i never have cared about myself  .   i just want the deaths to stop,  i want heaven and hell to stop DRAGGING US INTO THEIR SHIT -  “   voice cracks again,   mixed in with a slight wheeze to try and control the hurt in chest   “  i think i’m just tried of being the happy one,  i think ...  i’m hurting,  and i don’t feel like im ALLOWED to hurt,  i don’t have time to  -   i can’t blame you entirely ;  i know you have bigger things going on and hell,  god fucked you angels over too,  right  ?  i feel BAD for lucifer,  i feel BAD for michael  .   angels deserve better,  i’m sure it doesn’t help when demons are antagonizing you every day and having humans blame their faults on you when gods on vacation right now,  you’re just as directionless as us   “    there’s a LAUGH THERE,  pain filled but very much there,   angels and humans were kin in their own weird,  fucked up way “  but shouldn’t that just... make us come together  ?  you don’t have to WATCH US,  just help us,  and maybe in what ways we can... we can help you guys too,  why do we need to wait for a god to fix things when we have the opportunity to work together ?  “  

  YOUR KNUCKLES ARE STARTING TO BRUISE AND INFLAME .  shut eyes open,  to stare at the pain that was getting more intense ...  even in your state you couldn’t ignore it any longer,  face twisting as the dark red and blues began to appear on skin,  well,  shit    “   I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF PEOPLE ARE LISTENING,   i’m just ...  i’m tired,   i’m SO FUCKING TIRED  “    the shower shuts off at your final words,   it takes a while to step out of the shower and into the real world,  but you know you have to  (  plus,  if you don’t bandage your knuckles as soon as your brothers come home,  if they see it there will be hell to pay ) .  

   THOUGH UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU,   your prayers rang loud throughout of heaven,    to each angel both in heaven and earth,   even lucifer and michael had heard .   it was the pain,  the anguished,   the way that they could hear the soft heart of the youngest winchester crumble,   a cry for help,  a cry for a second chance  -   it’s something that couldn’t be done,  but a few of them could maybe ease the pain  .  if just a little bit,  maybe for a moment .  

[zmediaoutlet]

in support of Black Lives Matter, @butsamsd donated $50, and requested Sam/Dean/Jack. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post. (no longer taking prompts)

After the craziness of their Halloween hunt, it’s good to be back in Kansas. Dean isn’t totally whole, probably won’t be for a while--Sam knows what it’s like to be possessed better than just about anyone else alive, he knows what the aftereffects are. Still, the hunt--getting out of his room, getting away from it all--Sam knows that it helped, too, and Dean’s happier on that drive home than he’s been in weeks, and even the crowd of cars parked up in front of the bunker don’t dim his grin, still wheedling Sam to try to get him to agree to a couple costume, for some future Halloween Dean’s thinking they might both see.

“Daphne and Velma,” Dean offers, parking the Impala in her pride of place down in the garage, and Sam squints at him, trying not to laugh, says, “Which one of us is Velma?” and Dean says, reproachfully, “Sam, please take this seriously,” and Sam looks around the empty garage, and pulls Dean in by that stupid plaid jacket, and kisses him soft, right there, because they’re--home. They’re finally home.

Dean blinks at him, when he pulls back. Surprised, uncertainly pleased. They haven’t really messed around, since he got Dean back from Michael. There was that first night, desperate and pressing together, and they had to be near-silent and it was more of an insane desperate renewing of something they’d both always promised each other than something that actually felt good. Otherwise--Dean too hurt, and trying to pretend he wasn’t, and the bunker too full, and things not right. Things still aren’t right but Sam thinks they can both live with them. “Think I’ll take a shower,” Sam says, pulling back to his side of the bench seat. “Then--my room?”

Dean breathes, presses Sam’s hand low on the bench where no one would be able to see, even if there were someone in the garage with them. “Sounds good to me, Sammy,” he says, and Sam squeezes his thumb, and gets out and heads into the bunker, smiling at the few refugees he sees, thinking--this is it. They really are home, at last.

Not all that many people around, really. Mom’s gone, like she usually is anymore, and Sam’s long-since reconciled himself to it. Cas in the wind, too, and what’s left is a half-dozen of the people Sam’s been training who aren’t on hunts, and he and Dean got back late enough that most of them are in bed, anyway, in the bunked-out rooms they reserved for themselves. Just Roland left up, manning the phones and watching Friends reruns on Netflix, and Sam waves at him but doesn’t stop, because--because Dean’s going to be waiting for him, and that knowledge is a heavy beating thrum in Sam’s blood.

Shower room’s empty, thank god. Sam strips out of the nerd gear, drops it all on the bench below the towel rack. Under the showerhead, that instant blast of heat and pressure carving the lingering worry of the hunt out of his shoulders, and he stands there for a second, soaking. Imagining. Dean, in his room, in the gold light. Dean’s skin under his hands. Everything else falling away. He drags his hands through his hair, decides to wash it another day because he can’t wait another ten minutes, and when he turns around under the stream of water there’s--Jack, standing there in his pajamas and bare feet, watching him.

Sam starts, moves a little out of the water. “Jack, hey,” he says, smiling--a little awkward, he bets, but Jack probably can’t tell. The showers are old-school open pans, not exactly private, but most people know not to just come in and watch when someone else is using them. Then again, Jack’s not most people. “You all right? Thought you were asleep.”

“I’m okay,” Jack says, and smiles. A little wan, maybe, a little pale, but he’s been different since Lucifer stole his grace. Sam’s still rinsing off suds, and Jack tracks his eyes down Sam’s body--deliberate, really looking, and Sam goes still. Jack nods, like he’s made a decision, and looks Sam in the eye. “Sam, I’d like it if we could have sex.”

Sam drops his washcloth with a splat. “What?”

Jack smiles, soft. “I thought that might seem weird,” he says, easy, but he also--strips off his t-shirt, and his pajama pants, and then he’s--jesus, naked, all of him right there, and he steps up into the shower pan and walks closer, makes Sam back up against the wall out of pure shock. “I know that isn’t the way our relationship has been going, but I think it’s something I need.”

“Jack,” Sam starts, and can only--laugh, kind of, like it’s some weird demented joke. “Buddy, this isn’t--I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

A tiny beat. Jack licks his lips. He’s not in the stream of still-running water and his body’s all smooth, pale. Perfect. Sam glances down, can’t help it, and Jack’s dick isn’t hard--just another perfect piece of him, soft and pink and curved gently over his balls, in a sparse nest of fine hair barely darker than the golden hair on his head. Cherub, Sam thinks, not for the first time, and then Jack puts his hand square in the center of Sam’s chest, over his sternum. Sam hitches in air, completely thrown. “I’ve just been thinking,” Jack says, softer. “All of the--stuff. Humans get to learn all of this when they’re growing up, but I’m already grown up and no one would ever--no one would get that. Nobody understands.”

“That’s--” Sam starts, and grabs Jack’s wrist. Soft, slipping under his wet hand. “You have to get to know people, Jack. Girls, or--or boys, I guess. Your own age, you know? This stuff doesn’t just happen automatically.”

“No one else is sixteen months old with a fully functional body and brain,” Jack says, reproachful, and Sam doesn’t have a lot to say to that, but then Jack’s mouth twists, somehow--sad. “I just want--I want to know what it’s like. At least once.”

Sam frowns--what does that mean?--but Jack shakes his head, and moves in closer, and puts both hands on Sam’s chest. “Sam,” he says, soft, and Sam should--should push him away, should demand answers, should ask why Jack doesn’t think he has other chances--only the door opens, and Dean says, “Sammy, what’s taking so long,” and Sam looks up over Jack’s head to find Dean there in the bathroom doorway, mouth half-open, staring at them.

“Dean,” Jack says, sounding glad. “You’re here.”

“Yeah, I am,” Dean says, slowly, and looks Sam in the eyes. He shakes his head, not knowing what to say. Dean’s in his undershirt, flannel pants, and he takes a step closer. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“I want to know what sex is like,” Jack says, again, firm, and Dean’s face does a thing that’d make Sam laugh any other time. “I asked Sam, but I want to know from you, too.”

“Kid,” Dean starts, but Jack shakes his head, looks back and forth between them, says, impossibly, “I know that you both have sex. With each other, I mean. It shouldn’t be a big deal for you to show me.”

“How did you know that?” Sam says, past the weird ringing in his ears. God, the shower’s still running. He shuts it off, and Dean’s just staring at Jack, his mouth set and his eyes narrow.

“My senses were better when I had my grace,” Jack says, shrugging, and looks up at Sam. “Castiel said I shouldn’t mention it, but it seems like--you know what you’re doing.” He looks at Dean, while Sam’s trying to dig himself out of the pit of what both of those statements mean. “I just...” he says, and he’s--so lost little kid, for a second. Immensely young, and sad, and Dean’s face changes again, settles.

“Why us?” Dean says, guarded.

Jack shrugs, again. He doesn’t even look turned on--just miserable, and there’s a wry curve to his mouth. “Who else could I trust?” he says, and Sam puts a hand on his bare shoulder. Something’s going on--something they should dig into.

Dean tips his head back a little, looks at Jack with full attention. His lips part, after a second, like he’s seeing something Sam doesn’t, and there’s a wash of compassion across his face. He looks up at Sam, and Sam thinks, something unlocking under his chest--this isn’t a good idea. They’re going to do it anyway.

*

The door to Sam’s room locks behind them. Silent, but Jack’s not nervous because he doesn’t know what to expect. Other than-- “I watched a pornographic video,” he says, and Dean closes his eyes and mutters jesus christ. “But it had a woman and a man, and I guess we can’t do those same things.”

“Some of ‘em,” Dean says, easy, and Sam leans his back against the door, holding his towel around his waist with what remains of his strength. Dean pulls Jack into the middle of the room, looks at him steady. “Jack. What are you--what do want to get out of this?”

Good question--better question than a lot of the ones Sam has. Jack frowns, seems like he really thinks about it. “I want to know--I mean, I’ve--with my hand,” he says, unexpectedly shy. Sam drags in a deep breath, imagining it. “But I don’t know what it’s like with someone else. In books they say it’s better with someone who loves you. You and Sam have that.”

Sam catches Dean’s eye. “Yeah,” Dean says, gruff, and then turns his full attention onto Jack, and smiles. Small, but full of promise. “You say the second you want anything to stop, all right?” he says, and his voice is--Sam’s gut revs, because he knows that voice. Dean, when he’s not laying it on thick as a charmer but when he knows someone wants him, and Jack blinks and nods, eager, and Dean lifts both hands and strokes his thumbs along Jack’s smooth jaw, gentle and easy, and then ducks and inch and kisses him, smooth and confident and simple, and Sam feels like the bottom drops out of his stomach.

Dean knows how to kiss. Sam knows that better than just about anyone, too. Jack makes a startled noise, clutches alternately at Dean’s shirt, his arms, and when Dean pulls back to let him breathe Jack’s chest is already heaving, his face all surprise. “Good?” Dean says, and Jack nods, more jerky than before, and Dean smiles at him, cupping his face. “Good,” Dean says, and catches Sam’s eye, and Sam walks over while Dean kisses Jack again, smooth, and again, soft and constant pressure, and Sam thinks with a burst of total insanity--this is like when Dean taught him to kiss, what feels like a million years ago--and he walks up behind Jack and holds his waist, watches up close. Soft, but insistent, and Jack’s hand creeps up to Dean’s neck like instinct’s driving it, his mouth following Dean’s lead like he’s learned everything they taught him, quick and eager. Dean makes a small, approving sound, and runs his knuckles over Jack’s cheek, and on the next press in he opens Jack’s mouth with his own and Sam sees the wet glance of Dean’s tongue and Jack moans, startled, and Sam dips and presses a kiss to his neck, says, “God, that’s good, Jack--you’re doing so good.”

Dean pulls back, mutters jesus again--grabs the back of Sam’s head and pulls him down and kisses him, too, over Jack’s shoulder, and Sam’s pulled close enough that his dick presses into Jack’s ass, and he breathes hot into Dean’s mouth and rubs his thumb in that soft sweet spot just below his ear, and god, this is--weird, weird, so goddamn weird but it doesn’t feel wrong, and Sam’s done a lot in his life that felt wrong and he knows the difference.

“Wow,” Jack says, small, and Dean laughs, pulls back from Sam and cups Jack’s cheek.

“Wow is right,” Dean says, warm with promise, and Sam knows then--whatever Jack wants, they’ll give him. They taught him everything else. It doesn’t have to be anything more than what it is. Anyway--it’s not like it’s something that’d come between Dean and Sam. Nothing ever will again.

Dean looks at Sam, expression as soft as though he heard the thought. “You ready for more?” he says, and Jack nods, so eager it makes Sam grin. Yeah, he’s ready. It’s going to be a good night.