#and second of all: they are so afraid of consequences to anything that even episodes that 'move the plot' feel like nothing

[velvetvexations]

I'm censoring this URL because the OP is eighteen. Do not seek the post out and do not harass anyone. Teens are often wrong about things. It's fine. It's radfem bullshit but it's fine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me be clear: The idea that t4t was invented by trans women for use betwixt themselves, and that "TME" people "gentrified it," is (a) holy fucking shit racist as fuck and (b)

takes a deep breath

WRONG INCORRECT UNTRUE EASILY VERIFIABLY FALSE

The OP is eighteen. That means that we did not do anything. They were not born when It came about on Craigslist and was being used by all trans people from the very start. I don't think they know what Craigslist is and probably more than half the people reblogging it don't either.

TME people fucking gentrified it? Are you fucking kidding me? Are these people tossing that post back and forth just fully playing pretend in fucking Tarabithia, what world do they live in where this combination of syllables makes sense and doesn't cause them to wither up in shame for even having the thought, much less vocalizing it?

Ohhhh but what really gets me is the assertion this was done because being with "TME" people meant there was a high chance you could be "socially (or even physically) murdered."

No.

No, OP. If you were any kind of trans person in pretty much any time and place before the 2010s, and a relationship with a non-trans person went poorly, there was a very high chance you would be dead. There's no "or even" about it. That is what fucking happened. Your ex didn't go crying to your mutual friends telling them about how you hogged the blankets. Your non-trans ex would proceed to ACTUALLY FOR REAL MURDER you, assuming they even waited for the relationship to go sour and didn't just kill you the second you walked through the door like they were always planning to do.

That's how it was when I was growing up, denied transitioning but longing so achingly to be a girl in spite of the horror and misery that seemed to plague us. So I have a problem with the obsession with sOcIaL mUrDeR that keeps getting tossed around these days, because of how degrading it is not only to how bad things still are with death after death after death, but how it disrespects what we came out of. But to directly act like soooocial murrrrrder was the big scary thing trans women feared back then? That's heinous. That's sickening. The social consequences all trans people were deathly afraid of back then was being outed as trans and then being fucking stabbed within twenty-four hours.

Even in spite of the election and what's coming next, how good we have it would be nigh-incomprehensible to the first trans men and women and non-binary people to be brave enough to advertise themselves as t4t to strangers. Like, I need everyone to understand that. They could not have wrapped their fucking heads around it. It'd be like explaining a circuit board to a Mesopotamian. One could show them a video of the Blue's Clues episode about queer people and it'd just register to them as migraine inducing static.

We're in such a better place than we were. And this is what people do with it.

Make up bullshit reasons to be angry at their siblings and imply they also didn't get murdered for being trans on a regular basis, or that even just trans women cared about an irritating buzzword, even as cishetpatriarchal fascism is empowered and determined to drag us back to the the horrific dark age that scholars refer to as Literally All of Human History Up Until Now.

Amazing.

Why do I even try. Like, with anything. Why do I get out of bed in the morning. I could have stayed in bed all day listening to rain sounds.

Anyway, that's my thoughts on that.

[colorful-horses]

I'm about 75% of the way through this season, and I just gotta say, theyre really gonna have the nail the landing if they expect me to watch anymore after this lol

Get ready for more Miraculous posting, I’m about to watch season 5

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

you once said that the ZK do not allow the canonical Zuko to show real, sometimes ugly signs of trauma. can you write more about this? because that's what I always felt when I came across their terrible takes, but I couldn't express it.

Gladly! But first, I need to mention the sign of trauma that Zuko usually lacks - and that, for some reason, the fandom insists defines his character:

Fear

Don't get wrong, I'm not saying Zuko never experienced fear. We all saw that poor boy on his knees, crying, begging his father not to hurt him.

But in "Zuko Alone" we also see 10-year-old Zuko get bitter that only his younger sister was expected to show off her firebending skills, and deciding that he would go against his father and demonstrate his own skills to the Fire Lord - that despite the fact that he knew Azula was better at it than he was. Even when it goes wrong, he is upset, but doesn't look afraid of the consequences.

That same episode shows Azula mocking him for playing with knives despite not even being good at it, and even though the fandom insists she was his worst fear ever since he was a child, Zuko responds with a "Put an apple on your head and we'll see how good I am." That little guy has exactly zero chill.

Let's not forget why he was banished either: Despite being considered too young to be in that war meeting, Zuko demanded to be there, eventually got his way, and despite having been told not to say anything, the second he hears a general suggest using their own men as "fresh meat" to lure the enemy, Zuko speaks out against it. And at the start of the Agni Kai, he looked 100% ready to fight a grown ass man with battle experience - until he saw it was his father/Fire Lord.

Let's not forget his Agni Kai with Zhao, which was his idea and that he actually won - and before that, he openly calls Ozai a fool, to which Zhao points out that banishment clearly not teach Zuko to watch his mouth. Or the time he openly challenged Azula in Ba Sing Se and they only didn't fight then and there because Azula knew she'd have the advantage by using the Dai Li. Hell, at the start of that very season, after she tried to lure him to a trap, Zuko's first reaction is to charge at her, fire-daggers in hand. That boy is the definition of "Fuck around and find out."

He has also done things like choosing to save his uncle from earthbenders instead of chasing Aang, crossing a blockade and going into actual Fire Nation territory even though he legally is no longer allowed to do that, and helped rescue Aang from Zhao as the Blue Spirit. It shows us that Zuko doesn't have an issue with temporarely deviating from his mission because of something HE deems important even though his father doesn't, openly disregarding Ozai's orders, and even basically saying "My father will have the Avatar as a prisoner only if I'm the one to capture him"

And, of course, on the day of the eclipse, Zuko grabs his swords and directly threatens Ozai, telling that bastard to sit the fuck down, shut up, and listen to his list of reasons why he sucks as a parent, ruler and person.

Zuko is brave. Unbelievably so. He is fierce, proud, and impulsive to the point of getting himself in situations that he should have known would not go his way (like fighting a waterbender in the snow, in the full moon) because he is very much a "act first, think later" kind of guy. So the fandom's insistence that he is constantly paralyzed by fear is a gross over-simplification of how his trauma affects him.

We only see him genuinely afraid of Ozai twice. During the Agni Kai itself, and then again when he WANTS to speak out against his father's plan to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground, but can't bring himself to because he remembers what happened last time he spoke out against that kind of horrible thing during a war meeting, at that very room. It took something THAT triggering to make him cower before a challenge.

However, fear wasn't the only reason why didn't speak out during that moment, and that takes us to the first "ugly" sign of trauma that the fandom as a whole likes to pretend Zuko wasn't repeatedly shown to experience:

"My father is right about me, actually"

Zuko doesn't think Ozai was wrong to disfigure and banish him. How could he? Nobody in that entire room stood up to at least try to support him, not even his uncle - who also once said "Why would your father have banished you if he didn't care about you?" because, surprise surprise, nobody in that family knows how to help someone through trauma because they're all dealing with their own shit. Even his crew, who WAS sympathetic to him after finding out how he got that scar, were still 100% willing to not only support Ozai, but risk their lives for him.

Zuko isn't just trying to heal from abuse, he is trying to heal from victim-blaming, and to go against YEARS of indoctrination that say the Fire Lord can do no wrong. That's part of why it was so difficult for Iroh and others to help him: Zuko didn't believe that he needed or deserved help.

And that is also one of his three major unhealthy coping mechanisms. Claiming that HE needs to prove himself to Ozai, that HE needs to make up for HIS mistakes, not the other way around.

It might seem strange that this could be a way to cope, but look at it this way: If it WAS his fault instead of Ozai's, then that means his dad is not an unfair, abusive piece of shit that is unbelievably cruel and impossible to please. Zuko just needs to accomplish this mission of capturing the Avatar and everything will be fine, they'll be a normal family again, and he won't have to be afraid of someone he thought he could trust.

It was like Iroh said: Things are never going to be the same ever agin, but the Avatar gives Zuko HOPE. And that hope that his abuser will one day have a change of heart and be a loving father to him again is both what allows Zuko not to give into despair - and what keeps him trapped in that awful situation.

Misplaced Anger

Another "unpleasant" sign of trauma that Zuko has is how he clearly has an anger problem. Sure, he's a moody teenager with a short fuse, but we see over and over again that he tends to blow things way out of proportion, and that when faced a fact or opinion he doesn't like, he is quick to lash out at someone with VERY cruel words (see him calling Iroh a lazy, shallow, jealous old man in "Avatar State", or calling him crazy and saying if he wasn't in prison, he'd be sleeping in a gutter in "The Headband").

Through the entire show, many people faced Zuko's wrath - Iroh, Aang and friends, his crew, Azula, innocent people of the Earth Kingdom, Mai, Ty Lee, that one rando that talked to Mai, and even Zuko himself.

The one person that usually escapes said wrath is, ironically, Ozai. In "Zuko Alone" he refuses to believe his father would ever be capable of harming him, in "Avatar State" he snaps at Iroh for doubting that Ozai really changed his mind about the whole banishment thing.

He is mad at Aang for being too difficult to capture, and at Zhao for stealing his one chance to come home. He never stops to question if it's fair that his father had him chase someone that was presumed dead, aka an impossible task, as the condition to bring him home. He also never addresses how he feels about the reason WHY said banishment happened until the Day Of Black Sun.

He is mad at Azula for lying to him and trying to take him home as a prisoner. He never gets mad at his father for not only wanting to lock him away forever because ZHAO screwed up at the North Pole, nor how messed up it was that he put Azula in charge of said mission.

For fuck's sake, in the day of the eclipse, we find out that Zuko legit believed his mother was DEAD - and the entire circumstance was shady as hell and put Ozai in a very bad light. Yet Zuko still wanted his love, still wanted to be a "worthy" son.

He HAS to direct his anger at other people, otherwise he'll realize that no, his father, the adult that was meant to care for him, is a complete monster.

Everytime Zuko lashes out at other people before confronting Ozai, he's basically acting like someone who is drowning and, in a panic, is trying to pull the nearest person under so he can try to breathe. It is one of the most accurate and honest representations of trauma and abuse, and it makes me SO mad when people erase it in their fics because "poor, innocent, helpless turtleduck that can do no wrong" makes Zuko look like less of a dick - and also completely strips him of his agency.

And that isn't even the thing that fans ignore the most. That "honor" goes to the simple fact that Zuko, as expected of a child raised to believe the Fire Lord can do no wrong, decided that Azula had the right idea and that the best way to avoid being a victim again was...

Copying His Abuser

Zuko has REPEATEDLY let his "inner Ozai" out through the show.

He is all manipulative by not letting the pirates know he was chasing the Avatar who was worth A LOT more than the scrowl they'd get as a reward for helping him, and by using Katara's necklace as a way to try and get her to say where Aang was.

He repeatedly steals stuff from innocent people (including some who helped him, like Song) because, in his own words "These people should just be giving stuff to us" - aka he's very much an entitled prince.

He betrays his uncle by joining Azula in Ba Sing Se, leading to Iroh being thrown in prison. He also doesn't give a shit when Katara says "I thought you had changed!" and he sends a freaking assassin after the Gaang. Even him refusing to tell Azula that there was a chance Aang could still be alive works both as a "Zuko doesn't trust Azula to not use that against him, and for good reason" and "Zuko did not even stop to think that, since Azula was the one who killed Aang, him coming back also puts HER in danger, because he's too focused on his own problems to notice anybody else's."

More importantly, he rejected a chance of a ceasefire with the Gaang three times (The Blue Spirit, The Chase, Crossroads of Destiny), much like Ozai refused his shot at ending the war in the finale before his battle with Aang, and not only did he challenge Zhao to an Agni Kai and seriously consider burning him, he also threatened one of his crewmen by saying he'd "teach him respect" - which we found out later that episode was what Ozai right before disfiguring poor Zuko.

For fuck's sake, Ozai was literally designed to look like an older Zuko. One without a scar, one that was never banished, one that never had to see first-hand all the death and suffering war brings and reflect on the role he plays in it.

Finally, we have the war meetings in "Nightmares And Daydreams", in which Zuko doesn't speak out against his father's completely inhumane plans to deal with the Earth Kingdom. When talking about it with Mai, he says "I was the perfect prince, the son my father wanted. But I wasn't me."

That is the turning point for Zuko for a reason. It's him finally being forced to acknowledge that, to become Ozai's ideal son, to earn his (conditional) love, to not be his victim he has to be just as bad as he is, just as cruel, just as unfair - and we see in Azula's breakdown how Zuko likely would have ended up if he accepted that path.

But he didn't, and that was not easy because even though it was the morally correct choice, it'd require him to sacrifice everything - his title as a prince, his right to be in the Fire Nation, his relationship with Mai, his (extremelly complicated, sometimes good, often awful) bond with Azula, the "easy" way to get literally anything he wanted at everyone else's expense, and, of course, accept that his father was never going to love him, was never going to change, and was never going to feel sorry for abusing him.

Erasing such a central conflict of his character for the sake of denying he ever did anything wrong is, ironically, removing one of Zuko's most noble character traits: his inability to just live with himself after doing something horrible. There's a reason he is in deep conflict even after getting everything he wanted after the fall of Ba Sing Se - he knows he doesn't deserve it after what he's done.

If you ignore his mistakes and the horrible consequences it had for other people, you also ignore Zuko's growth. This puts him more in the position of a good guy being held hostage by the evil villain, not of a troubled child that redeems himself as he matures.

No flaws, no mistakes, no growth, no arc.

Trauma Doesn't Just Go Away

This one is, by far, the bad trope regarding Zuko's trauma that Zutarians are the most guilt of: assuming that if he just gets enough comforting hugs (mainly from Katara), all of his inner turmoil will suddenly be healed. No more sadness, no more fear, no more of the ugly traits they never acknowledge in the first place. Just a happy, fully recovered Zuko.

But that's just not how these things work. Having the support of a loved one helps victims feel better, but it won't magically make everything okay. Trauma is a really difficult thing to handle. There's good days, bad days, relapses, bad habits that are difficult to move past from. And not only are there cases in which people take YEARS to recover, there are also cases in which they never fully heal, and instead just learn to live with that burden that is still very much present.

I understand the desire to show in fics and headcanons that Zuko will eventually be fully healed and happy, but the way Zutarians make Katara act as not just his girlfriend, but as basically his therapist that needs to find miracle solutions for every single one of his problems, comfort him whenever any minor inconvenience happens until he's gotten enough hugs to be magically okay doesn't just reveal how hypocritical they are, since they insist Kataang is about Katara being Aang's girlfriend/mom/baby-sitter, but also that they legit do not understand a damn thing about trauma and how it works.

Which takes me to:

How Mai Actually Did Right By Zuko

Poor, poor Mai. She gets blamed for "bring out the worst in Zuko", for not being "supportive", for being too cold and unemotional, for not "seeing the real him" - yet she's one of the characters that CONSISTENLY help put Zuko back on his track.

She offers him emotional support and lots of signs of affection over and over again - telling him not worry when they're arriving at the Fire Nation, pointing out she doesn't hate him when she says she's beautiful when she hates the world, explicitly saying she cares about him in The Beach, being incredibly sweet and loving to him during all of Nightmares and Daydreams, and then again in the finale by helping him get dressed up and acting all cute as they get back together.

But she also holds him accountable when he screws up. She doesn't let him use his difficult life as an excuse to be a jerk and calls him out when he's being unreasonable, or when she feels mistreated/like he's making a mistake (see The Beach and Boiling Rock Part 2).

But since the fandom loves to completely erase Zuko's mistakes AND to not let go of a stupid ship war, this completely changes the context, making Mai out to be this awful, bitchy girlfriend, when in reality, she did a great job handling Zuko - sometimes even better than the fan favorite and mentor figure Zuko had through most of his arc.

Uncle Iroh Fucked Up

Before all of you try to kill me, let me make one thing clear here: I love Uncle Iroh. He is one of the most awesome characters in the show, and I fully believe he was trying his best to help Zuko.

But he is still a human being that makes mistakes, and he was raised in the same dysfunctional family Zuko was, meaning he often had NO IDEA how to handle his deeply traumatized teenage nephew/son.

Him spending all of book 1 trying to help Zuko capture Aang so he could go back to living with the guy that disfigured him is already bad enough, but we also have the episode "Avatar State" in which Iroh asks "Why would your father banish you if he didn't care about you?"

Obviously he only did these things because he didn't want Zuko give into despair and depression - but he is still, at best, ignoring the issue, and at worst actively making excuses for Ozai's abuse of his own son. This backfires on him spectacularly, as Zuko sides with Azula over him both in the first and last episode of the season specifically because he believes that appeasing Ozai is the right thing to do, as he was only banished "for his own good."

But THE biggest mistake Iroh made when it came to helping Zuko was his refusal to accept that no, Zuko was never going to be happy by living a quiet, simple life in Ba Sing Se - even after Zuko explicitly said as much to his face.

Obviously, to some extent, Iroh HAS to make Zuko accept that he won't ever be able to come back home after Ozai literally ordered Azula to capture him, but he could have tried to find some kind of middle ground with Zuko, since being a waiter clearly wasn't making him happy.

"Oh, but what about how Zuko started acting after his metamorphosis? He was so happy about working on the tea-shop with his uncle, and that was supposed to reveal his true self!"

Yes, it was supposed to do that. But we saw how Zuko acted after actually dealing with his trauma and redeeming himself. He was obviously in a much healthier place, both mentally and spiritually, but he was still moody, still sarcastic, still as proud as ever, and even Iroh recognized that he was meant to be Fire Lord.

Zuko's arc has a lot to do with identity, with how he sees himself. At that point, the only thing he still had in life was his uncle - so he was acting like him, because there seemed to be no other role model, no other path. Seeing that weird, cheery, relaxed, always-seeing-the-good-side-of-things version of Zuko was honestly unnerving.

And Iroh thought that Zuko basically giving himself the Lake Laogai treatment was okay because he following in his footsteps, doing what helped IROH heal and change - he didn't realize it was never gonna be able to do the same for Zuko.

The very second Azula shows up, even when she's being hostile, Zuko drops the facade, because she's a reminder of both his old life and what he thought his future would be. And when she offers him "redemption" Iroh tried to advice Zuko against joining her by saying "The redemption she offers is not for you" (as in not for someone who is doing better and doesn't need to return to the Fire Nation) and "It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good." How is it a choice if Iroh is explicitly saying which option Zuko cannot pick, essentially making the decision for him?

Iroh didn't just get the way to help Zuko wrong - he didn't realize his nephew didn't believe he needed help. They were not on the same page at all, and that contribuited to Zuko betraying him.

Though, thankfully, it ended up being for the best, as Zuko found his own way to redemption by himself.

Conclusion

This fandom as a whole tends to not understand Zuko at all and just eat up a bunch of fanon while pretending to be so intellectual, which I very much resent it for.

[feuqueerfire]

The Categories of Final Hallucinations

I noticed 2 types of visions that the characters had in the last episode, specifically in regards to Non

Non was front and center and the visions are about him

Phee: He kept continually seeing Non die in different ways, including some which were new and unseen ways. He's grieving Non's death and also feels guilty for what he's said (the "Get lost and die"). Phee was also the only person who understood that these were visions and Non wasn't real. Even in the 2 years later part (which may or may not be real - tbh I'm thinking of it as a continuation of the hallucinations in the courtyard), Phee sees Non walking into the water.

Tee: Non asks Tee to kill him with a knife on the rooftop because he’s so trapped while working for Tee’s uncle. Tee has been feeling guilty about his actions bringing Non into this world and ultimately being unable to get him out of the mess, so this manifests as a horrific way to help Non, though of course he ends up stabbing White in reality :’(

Tan: Non thanks him, then hangs himself, then thanks him again. Tan just wanted to be a good brother and in these hallucinations, after he has avenged Non, he finally is. His last vision is Non thanking him and walking into the light.

Non may or may not be there but it's mostly about their own situations/consequences/fears rather than Non

Fluke: Non is hardly there except at the end, Fluke's mostly being chased by a cop because he's deathly afraid of ruining his reputation and not getting to become a doctor. Aside: I loved that Fluke gouged his own eyes out, the eyes with which he was constantly witnessing the misbehavior against Non (Top breaking the camera, Jin taking the video) but keeping silent about

Top: He was just being chased by Non through the woods, very little depth because we hardly knew anything about him

White: he never knew Non and so his visions are about his relationship with Tee instead

Jin: I don't think Non even appeared in this but I'd have to double check. It was mostly about what if what Jin did to Non happened to Jin himself with him seeing people taking videos of him in compromising situations, including with Keng

For me, Tee's was the most shocking and horrifying because I was expecting death for Tee (especially after episode 11) but there was the vibe that maybe White is the final girl who will survive. Instead, my mouth fell open as soon as I realized what they were hinting at and I lost my mind as the sequence went on. One of the most unpredictable aspects of this whole show for me and it really is tearing me up, esp after ep 11.

Tan's and Phee's are the most tragic. I didn't cry at all during this show but for a second there, during Tan's visions, I became misty-eyed. (also I've been typing Tan as Non and having to correct... I think NewTan would like that tbh)

I think Jin's was the most disappointing to me because although he knows his actions to release that video were wrong and likely feels guilty, I was hoping Non would at least make an appearance? When Jin apologized to Non the day Non disappeared, Non didn't know what he was apologizing for and said Jin didn't have to apologize. I wanted Jin to apologize to Non while admitting to his wrongdoings, even if it's in hallucinations. Instead, it's Jin being paranoid about what he did to Non being done to him.

[Edited because the Tee/White scene did a whole number on me so I got a bit confused about their visions when I first posted this right after watching the ep]

[los-ninos-tortugas]

Tottmnt!Mikey is the oldest headcanon still lives! (at least nothing has negated it yet lol ;) )

Also seems I was kinda right in thinking that Mikey is having a bit of a crisis of identity, and he seems to struggle a bit with self-comparison, with a lot of focus on Leo in a way that seems self-deprecating. (I feel like there's been some tension set up between those two, with Leo's jabs in the first episode, and now in Mikey's flashback in this episode he has Leo blaming him for their predicament. all of this is feeding into my head canon about those two being the oldest, but Mikey shirks a lot of responsibility onto Leo.)

Rod apparently follows in a line of red-headed characters who manipulate Mikey in some way (Bradford for 2012!Mikey, Meat Sweats for Rise!Mikey). Seems to be another one of those things that's a universal constant. Sure Mikey here obviously isn't totally swayed and is manipulating Rod right back somewhat, but Rod is definitely holding the cards in this situation since he's basically holding Mikey's brothers' lives in his hands. (well, at least as far as Mikey is concerned he is. I kinda can't help but take Rod's claims about his dad with a grain of salt but that might just be because I'm an adult watching this show. He's also just insufferable enough that it might just be true, but still. it's kinda moot anyway cuz obviously there's ten more episodes of this and the end of the episode didn't just hand Mikey the easy solution.) I'm not sure what it is about Mikey that makes pairing him up with a manipulative character a go-to story-line, but evidently there's something there about that.

anyway, it works leading into his arc for this episode. Mikey starts off feeling the need to do something to help is brothers but he isn't sure what. The weight of that responsibility bears down on him and scares him, so when Rod seemingly offers him an easy solution that takes the responsibility off of Mikey's shoulders, it makes sense that he would jump at it.

All that said I think it's a little unfair to call Mikey irresponsible as is implied by both Leo and Rod, because I don't necessarily think he is? Like okay, far and away breaking the zoo's fuse box was super irresponsible, but he at least has the wherewithal to realize it within a few seconds of doing it as opposed to later in the episode. just in terms of disposition tottmnt!Mikey seems a lot more grounded and down to earth than the more 'spacey' 03, 2012, or even Rise!Mikey's (also me calling them 'spacey' is not me dunking on those characters I don't necessarily mean it with a negative connotation, it's just a difference I noticed.) Like I was saying, I feel more like Mikey is more afraid of responsibility than he is actually irresponsible, but the fact that he stepped up to protect Rod at all from the mechazoid I think indicates he's ready for more than he thinks, and we kinda see that with how he handles the situation with Pidgeon Pete.

Honestly the situation could have continued to escalate so far out of control (and- while I'm not exactly sure what the current status regarding any possible future seasons of this show is- they left the situation at the zoo pretty open for consequences that could bite him back later), but the way he diffuses it and defeats the mechazoid kinda shows a level of maturity I don't think we get very often from Mikey in general.

So that's episode two down. I'm kinda starting to lose steam because it's getting pretty late here, maybe I'll squeeze in episode three before bed? but I probably won't write anything about it until tomorrow. I don't have any head canons or predictions going in for episode three, so I guess it'll be a bit of a surprise.

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 123 (May 2, 1988) - “We'll Always Have Paris”

Written by: Deborah Dean Davis & Hanna Louise Shearer Directed by: Robert Becker

The Breakdown

The Enterprise crew are prepping for shore leave (gotta boost crew morale after Tasha’s death, y’know), when a bunch of time-travel-ish space-whimsy plagues the ship by causing people to slightly rewind-and-replay a few seconds of their current conversations/tasks.  It’s a fairly minor inconvenience as far as Galaxy class shenanigans go, but it’s enough for Picard to postpone shore leave for at least 45 minutes (plus commercials). And wouldn’t you just know it, shortly thereafter a distress signal comes in from one Paul Manheim, a renowned scientist whose whole deal involves professionally mucking around with time, so naturally Picard puts two-and-two together.  However, the mere mention of Manheim (a man Picard admits to knowing only by reputation) causes the otherwise stoic Captain to become so tense that even Data starts taking notice.

So what gives?

It just so happens that Paul Manheim is married to a woman (Janice) who used to be Picard’s flame back in the day.  Essentially, our dear Captain ghosted her on the same day he'd agreed to meet with her, to say goodbye before he shipped off to pursue his Starfleet career. You see, he was “afraid he would lose his resolve to leave," since he loved her so much. So, he did a really unkind (one might even say, casually cruel) thing and left without saying anything to, y'know spare HIMSELF the pain. Anyways, breezing-right-past-unpacking-any-of-that, they would tragically never speak again until this episode. But it all works out very amicably, which is nice I guess, and they finally say a farewell the way the way he ought to have the first fucking time. so it all works out*.

*[If I'm being honest though, Janice is a way better sport about the whole thing than I would have been.  Like, she pretty much just lets him off the hook; to my knowledge that’s the last we'll ever hear of it.]

While Picard’s drama plays out on the side, the rest of the episode deals with the weird time-loop phenomenon that Manheim caused via (surprise surprise) a radical experiment gone wrong.  Long-story-short, Manheim created a temporal rift-or-whatever that causes moments in time to replay in inconsistent ways [sometimes you redo a moment in time, and other times you end up running into an earlier version of yourself; basically whatever helps move the plot along].  Apparently Manheim was working on the theory that there are actually infinite dimensions, and that our perception of time is… yada yada yada.  Honestly, I can't remember the explanation, but I promise you it doesn't matter. All we need to know is that somehow Manheim has untethered his consciousness so that he can perceive multiple dimensions (presumably of the “multi-verse” variety) at once, and it’s driving him crazy.  Not only that, but somehow the affect of Manheim’s temporal rift also has cascading universe-ending consequences if left un-mended.

During one of his more lucid moments, Manheim gives the Enterprise gang the necessary codes to bypass his lab's security protocols, and Data beams down to do some obligatory emergency-space-science; in this instance, placing a canister of anti-matter into a time-rift-fixing machine (no time-lab should be without one).  There’s a brief complication where Data has to coordinate the application the anti-matter to a precise countdown (for unspecified plot reasons), but then he splits into three versions of himself (for unspecified temporal reasons) with no way to tell which one of him should insert the antimatter at the end of the countdown (why not all three, you ask? Also unspecified).  Anyways, the middle Data figures out he’s the right one (with no further explanation as to how he came to that conclusion), and he's correct, which is pretty handy.

With the rift patched up, Manheim’s mind is also conveniently restored, and spared from any residual side affects that one might expect from having one’s consciousness volleyed between dimensions.  Thankfully he’s learned his lesson and vows that things will be different between him and Janice, who he has apparently been neglecting (that woman sure can pick ‘em), and this time he’s going to… keep doing his experiments?  But… *checks notes* uh, yeah no, that’s somehow correct. He’s just going to be more careful, moving forward, and apparently that’s good enough for Janice! So the universe can rest easy knowing that Manheim’s work will continue to go unchecked, except he promises to avoid any more catastrophic mistakes!

I certainly wouldn’t have any concerns.

The Verdict

God, this was dull.  I actually had to watch the episode twice, because I was so bored the first time that I zoned out, and forgot what happened. A little digging on memory-alpha reveals production was temporarily halted by the writers strike of ’88, because the script hadn’t been completed, which honestly explains a lot. On the one hand we have Picard grappling with regret and doubt over a lost love from his past, and on the other hand you have Paul Manheim trying to control the flow of time while ignoring his present relationship with the same woman Picard has longed for. I’m not saying it would win awards, but I shouldn’t have to point out the obvious thematic potential between those two threads any more than I already have. But the end result ends up being… just nothing really.

For starters, the relationship between Janice and Picard was just so underwhelmingly civil.  Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate it when adult characters behave like adults, but the point of this story was to address a regrettable choice from Picard’s past. And yet, when the two literally-star-crossed lovers finally meet for the first time in decades, the conflict between them amounts to little more than a quaint conversation, and an acknowledgment that mistakes were made. Janice offers almost immediate forgiveness, while barely (if all all) holding Picard accountable for his actions, or even addressing the longstanding emotional grief. 

Apparently the writers (Shearer and Davis) did want Picard and Janice to do the nasty, but that was kiboshed by the various powers-that-be. Now, I’m not saying that would have necessarily been the right way to go, but it certainly would have been more interesting than what we got.  Even a passionate kiss (or something to that effect) would have gone a long way to selling me on the idea that these two people had longed for each other, not to mention addressing Janice’s strained marriage to Manheim, and the internal conflict she ostensibly is meant to feel.  It’s not like the writers were being at all discreet about ripping off Casablanca, so why remove the one thing from that story to help make this narrative slog halfway interesting?

As for the time-dilation subplot, it just felt thematically disjointed, and ends up becoming kind of an afterthought.  Manheim also has virtually nothing in the way of a character arc.  You’re telling me he was SO obsessed with his work that he became an absent husband with a singular obsession, and in the end he’s still going to keep being obsessed, but he’s also somehow learned his lesson?  The script seems to genuinely back the idea that Manheim’s quest to control time shouldn’t be reevaluated at all (outside of avoiding of repeat the specific errors from his previous attempt), and that he and Janice will somehow be much happier (and safer) this time.  If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was some behind the scenes editorializing/censorship at work here.

But then again, who cares?

1 star (out of 5)

Additional Observations

You know, for a shining utopia that has rid itself of capitalism’s shackles, there’s still quite an emphasis on concepts like ‘careers’, and officers struggling to maintain steady relationships due to the demands of the job.  Kirk was an absentee father who never had time find a steady relationship, Spock’s betrothed dumped him via gladiatorial combat, Riker and Troi’s on-again-off-again romance was mainly off-again until the movies finally let them settle down, and Worf- …well Worf’s wives just get murdered, but that’s basically the Klingon equivalent of getting dumped. Now we have Picard, who evidently ran like a coward from the love of his life because of his crippling commitment issues. Speaking of the dear Captain…

Picard really IS an asshole: This episode establishes Picard as something of a heartbreaker, but the writing is so nonchalant about it, you almost wouldn’t notice.  This highlights one of the issues I’ve had with this season, generally speaking.  Apparently there was an intentional aversion to addressing character flaws/interpersonal conflicts amongst the crew, even when the story required it (because humanity had advanced beyond conflict and selfishness, you see), yet, Picard has spent much of the first season as a cranky, ill humoured, fuddy duddy (excuse my language). The thing is, I actually kind like how he starts off as cold and over-serious, and then begins to warm as the show progresses, but I have my doubts that the shift was executed with much thought or planning (maybe I’ll change my mind as I watch more episodes). Here especially, there was an opportunity to actually address some of his emotional short-comings, which is sadly overlooked.

Troi-SPIRACY: I have nothing concrete here, but this episode features a pretty classic example of Troi’s “I have abilities and can sense something is wrong with you” nonsense, when she approaches Picard about his emotional bagage. Like, oh really Deanna? Could you “sense” Picard was feeling “strong emotions”?  Surely it wasn’t the fact that he went as rigid as a lamp post at the mention of some random dude’s name, or the fact that he aggressively striking the palm of his hand with a tightly folded towel, did you?  No, I’m positive it must have been your magical powers picking up on the same thing the entire crew was also noticing. I’m telling you, Troi is a fraud who is so good at her job that she’s convinced everyone she has powers.

Holo-Horrors: So Picard loads up a holosuite program of some 24th century Paris Café, which comes fully staffed, and filled with customers (all holograms). Each of these holo-folk seem to have complex internal lives, with access to the full spectrum of human emotion, and relationships with histories. One of them (who is talking to a friend about her relationship woes) reminds Picard of Janice, even though she is otherwise entirely unique. So does that mean the ship computer is generating fully realized sentient background "programs" just for the sake of realism? I dunno man, the holosuite tech really does seem a lot more dystopian than I remember it being, growing up.

[magnorious]

Review: The Last Airbender Episodes 2 & 3

I still need to watch this show in a pitch-black room to see anything on screen during night scenes. Did you not learn from Game of Thrones?

Jet’s here! He shouldn’t be, but he is! Teo’s here! He shouldn’t be, but he is! And they’re both fantastic. Azula, Ozai, Mai, and Ty Lee are here! Wait a second….

—

Something I didn’t touch too much on the last episode that I’m going to now: This crippling addiction Hollywood has to ~reimagining~ beloved cartoons in live action consistently has the same flaw: It’s so *boring*. 

On the one hand, yes, I love the live action costumes. I love all the detail that can now be added since it doesn’t take tediously intricate details drawn frame by frame. However, cartoons, especially anime-inspired cartoons, take full advantage of the medium and frequently don’t draw *realistic* humans, they emphasize the features that matter like caricature.

ALTA not only uses caricature but the slapstick, rubbery physics of a cartoon world to hand-wave away the consequences of elemental fisticuffs. The expressions the characters make, their peak character designs, the exactness of every frame, even the less-detailed background shots of little gummy people with undefined details, these define the show.

So while the casting has been great so far, Gyatso, Iroh, Bumi, Zuko, Sokka, Gran Gran, through no fault of their own or the fault of the medium, lack the cartoonishness of the original characters. The cartoonishness that makes this show so beloved so the live action scenes feel… lesser. 

Also, because it’s anime-inspired, the fight scenes storyboarded and drawn in anime are incredibly dynamic. The way the camera sits and follows the action is beholden to no real-world physics because it’s all drawn and anime is particularly good at making spectacular, intense fight scenes. This show’s fight scenes, while well-choreographed, aren’t filmed like a live-action anime, and that also makes it feel lesser.

—

I can’t be the only one disappointed that every episode doesn’t begin with Katara’s narration, can I? They went through the trouble of CGI-ing the whole thing, so why not?

I was holding out hope that they’d still find the avatar statue room, because it was so well-animated and hauntingly beautiful with the buildup and all the eyes glowing. They kept tiny versions of the statues, it just lacked the oomph.

Or the foamy-mouth guy and all the kids enamored with Aang on Kyoshi Island, and Aang reveling in the praise and attention. That dude has become his own meme. He’s hilarious.

Still not satisfied with Iroh’s voice (not the actor’s fault), or Zuko’s, for that matter. He doesn’t quite hit the “I’m an angsty 16 year old stuck with an uncle whom I do not respect or take seriously in any way and refuse to admit that I care about” vibe. Zhao also doesn’t sound intimidating (though he tries and his physical acting is great). When casting all these roles, I wish they would have paid as much attention to the voices of the live-action actors, as much as their faces. There’s zero grit in anyone’s voices, even Gran Gran’s. Zhao sounds his best when his voice lowers as he narrates his letter to Ozai.

Humor-wise, this show sits in a weird spot where it’s trying to be funny only with one-liners (like Marvel) and zero situational humor. Sokka is the best attempt the show makes at being funny and sometimes it lands, I just wish there was more of it. It’s like this show is afraid to lose its “gritty” badge if any scene dares to be legitimately funny.

I do like the nod to the cartoon’s title sequence with Aang air-scootering into that statue. That’s the situational humor I’m talking about.

—

Kyoshi island (and their costumes) was good, lacking humor and giant koi notwithstanding. Kyoshi herself making an appearance giving Aang some sagely wisdom 50-odd episodes early is a treat, even if he’s suddenly excellent at handling the Spirit World with zero effort. They didn’t turn the Kyoshi warriors into insufferable girlbosses, remaining incredibly competent warriors that happen to be women.

In attempt to make it more adult, they’re starting to fudge some backstories and motivations, like Aang now having too much power to the point where the other kids were afraid of him, and the Sokka/Suki romance being far less subtle, and a lot more physical. It’s less sweet and more “wow, these teenagers are horny”. Katara did not witness Kya getting burned alive, her mother would never have let that happen. She’d left the tent to find her dad, and by the time she came back, Kya was already gone. It was tragic already, why make it worse?

**Side note, Momo is a lemure, not a monkey, please don’t give him generic monkey noises. They already gave you plenty of sound design for Momo, just use it.

Aang fumbling around in the Spirit World at the worst possible moment is so true to form, it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so serious. Him ending that trip by manifesting into Kyoshi totally kneecaps the moment during the Winter Solstice where he becomes Roku, even if it looked cool.

The Ozai reveal, though. Why? Just why? Did Daniel Dae Kim have X amount of minutes contractually obligated? Ozai wasn’t revealed for two entire seasons, not his face. They waited and waited and waited, leaving him silhouetted by flames and shadows, only drawing him from behind or from the neck down. This was a *reveal* because we didn’t know what to expect. Would he be as ugly as his soul? Handsome? Pretty? Scarred himself, like his son?

Oh. Azula’s here, too.

The writers of this show and Percy Jackson went to the same school of “Mystery be damned, let’s shoot our load right f’ing now!”

Also, Mr. Kim should have been Zhao, not Ozai. He would have made a fantastic Zhao.

—

The more Ozai is on screen, even if his scenes are good, misses the whole point of why he was barely a character. I’m trying not to use “the cartoon did X better” too much, but the cartoon did it better and here’s why:

Ozai is basically a non-character. Who *he* is doesn’t matter, he’s a bad guy doing bad things because he’s an evil narcissist. His actions and his orders are felt across the globe, though. So the Gaang doesn’t meet him (some ever) until the finale, but they still feel the impact of his actions the entire series.

Who’s Ozai? The guy who burned and banished his son and sent him on a wild goose chase.The guy who’s admiral murdered the moon spirit. Who continues to lay siege to the Earth Kingdom and whose daughter orchestrates its downfall. We don’t need to see who he is for him to be one scary dude. He doesn’t need all these extra scenes to prove how terrifying he is.

The original perfected “less is more” and Ozai (and Azula, and Mai and Ty Lee) just don’t need to be here. Not yet.

With that said, Azula’s great, what little we see of her. Ozai is great. They really seem to be having fun with their roles.

Episode three leaves me curious if all the kids watched the original and wanted so badly to make this show funny, and all the adults told them to tone it down. They’re trying so hard. Props to everyone doing their best with an IP as beloved as this one, and the massive shoes they all have to fill.

More missing humor: Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis! But at least they kept the cabbage merchant.

Episode three decided to combine the Northern Air Temple with Omashu and Jet for reasons. These were two entirely separate plots and locations, but Teo and the Mechanist are incredibly entertaining even if they’re early. They filmed only eight episodes and I feel like a broken record when I say: If you hadn’t given us the wrong filler, you could have properly adapted the missing content. You can skip the Great Divide, though. I hope you skip the Great Divide.

The filler is entertaining. I like the easter egg of the Yu Yan archers training in the background with Azula, implying that she’s as good as they are. I don’t think Azula would bother mastering archery when she’s a firebending prodigy, but the scene is nice. The original Omashu and Northern Air Temple would have been nicer.

Can’t say I miss the original Jet episode and the second I saw this scruffy boy with emo hair in his eyes on that wagon, I thought, “This is Jet, right? It’s gotta be Jet. He’d make a perfect Jet.”

And I was right!

Wrong time, wrong place, but this is the first character who, upon seeing them completely out of their episode, even if he looks nothing like his cartoon version, he fits that character’s vibe perfectly. Excellent casting.

“Omashu” is so far divorced from the original, it might as well be its own thing and it’s buckwild, but it combines elements from three independent episodes and it works incredibly well, even if the plots still feel disjointed from each other, each stays their welcome as long as they need to.

The freedom fighters are amazing. Their costumes are amazing. As each one showed up on screen I was grinning from ear-to-ear. My only detractor is the slight-fanservicey nature of it all once Jet starts naming his team. No notes on Jet dropping his disguise and the slow-mo of the reveal of his hook-swords. One more re-write and it would have been flawless. Can’t wait to see this guy ambiguously pass away beneath Lake Laogai. He’ll be great.

—

I’m liking Iroh less and less every time I see him. He’s just not Iroh. He doesn’t act like him, doesn’t talk like him, doesn’t wax poetic like him, which is a shame because, behind Zuko, I’m pretty sure Iroh is the fan-favorite character. He was an entire generation’s mentor and this just isn’t him.

Zuko’s dickishness was also tempered by him being an awkward turtleduck. Here he’s just aggressive with zero moments for second-hand embarrassment. He doesn’t get bullied by Sokka in the premier, doesn’t bicker with Iroh, he just yells and screams. He’s not endearing in the slightest.

The VFX as well – I know the underpaid and overworked artists did their best but it’s very distracting when they’re so obviously standing in front of a greenscreen.

This show still does not need to exist, make no mistake, and I can see why the original writers left. There’s scenes I’ve legit fast-forwarded through because they just won’t end and I am bored – the massacre of the Air Nomads? Skipped.

With that said, it’s not the worst adaptation in the world, and everyone still showed up to do their best with the script they were given. Does every line land? Heck no. Are the fight scenes cool? Ehhhh, kind of? Is it funny? No, not really, not compared to the original. Is it for kids? I think no less than 20 people have been burned alive at this point so, no, not really. Not like the original was for all ages.

Once again we have a “but was it better than the first attempt?” bar two feet into the topsoil. Yes, so far, it is. At least it’s not like that other horrible adaptation that forgot it was an action-adventure story.

But Jet was awesome. If he carries this review solely on how awesome he was, so be it.

[galactic-pirates]

1, 14 and 21 for the ask game, please!

1) what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

I am unfortunately an honest person so this might be a bit of an over share I don’t know. I’m not very good at judging so I apologise in advance. I’m going to put it under a cut as it’s quite personal.

- being undiagnosed autistic for 26 years. This is probably by far the biggest slice of the ‘what shaped me’ pie. I was me - I am me - and I have never known different and so I thought life was just like this. That I couldn’t cope, that I was weird and always unwanted, all my failures I assumed that they were mine - that I was just wrong and bad and I learned to deeply hate myself. I broke. I have had 3 mental breakdowns and got worse each time. I now have a reason for why I struggle but I have these learned patterns of behaviour that I can’t shake. The self-loathing is in my bones, the depression and anxiety are intense. It’s not like that for all autistics but because I didn’t know. Yeah :/ it’s a real problem and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to let go, as I have never let go of anything in my life. I am stuck just getting worse and worse :(

- mum was my grandparents carer. I debated whether to put this in black and white. Mum doesn’t know my tumblr but I would hate for her to think I blamed her for anything. Absolutely not. Mum did the best she could, she always did the right thing, I support her totally. But it would be incorrect to say there were no consequences. I was a child and though mum insists it wasn’t true, I felt that my grandparents came first. On times I felt resentful like about Christmas plans or something, I then felt immediate shame and guilt about how I had thought it wasn’t fair, as it wasn’t about me. I do feel it has taught me to always put everyone else’s wishes above my own and to feel a lot of guilt about being any kind of burden, or even just existing in a space because surely I must be trouble.

- being on disability. A lot of self-loathing does come from this, that I am not contributing to society. But there’s also a hefty dose of fear. I am not in control of my situation. At any time the rules could change on me. I’m afraid of everything constantly. I mean fear is the singular constant in my life. But disability is definite constant low level anxiety, forever in the back of my mind. It never leaves me. I hate it. If I could get a job and leave it behind I would.

14) what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Go places. I’m virtually agoraphobic. I have panic attacks in the local supermarket. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. There’s a couple of science museums in London which look so cool, or there’s the Lego House.

But I think my real answer is to write professionally. True I mostly talk about novels and I did an attempt at indie publishing, but that was short-lived and I suppose I want to feel good enough. I didn’t give it a fair enough shake back then to tell if the market would eventually approve of me or not. However I have shied away from even trying since. I don’t expect they would have paid much but I have seen openings for staff writers a handful of times on sites I read everyday like WoWHead or BrickFanatics. I have contemplated sending in an application but haven’t dared. Honestly I’m not sure if I am more scared of rejection or success. I know rejection is a hell of a lot more likely obviously but I was just too afraid of the possibility of any kind of response.

21) are you a spiritual person?

Not really no. Death is something that terrifies me. Not for me but for losing mum. Sometimes I wish I did have some kind of faith. The closest thing to comfort I have in that sphere is the second law of thermodynamics, that energy can neither be created or destroyed. Yes I am quoting from an Agents of Shield episode but the sentiment really stuck with me. That everything that is, used to be something else, and will be something else again.

Thanks for the ask ❤️ sorry that I got a bit heavy there but hey you asked the questions.

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Misery AND The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

Well, life is insane but I intentionally let my phone die and instead found the time to write up my thoughts on Episodes 12 and 13 of The Case of The Greater Gatsby! I know Episode 14 dropped today and I was gonna do all three at once but--there's sooo much to talk about! The notes I had for just these two episodes alone were...erm...generous in number. So, uh, spoilers under the cut and my apologies for the amount of stuff I'm about to say?

First off, WOW WHAT A PAIR OF EPISODES! New reveals! Even newer questions! Quips and lies and truths! A banger of a cliffhanger! Jon Cozart followed by my man Dylan Saunders in his Shipwrecked debut! THE RETURN OF ERNEST HEMINGWAY (the noise I made when I saw he was in this episode…)!! Well played, Shipwrecked, well-freaking-played.

So let’s start out with a bang. Here’s my Wacky And Unlikely Greater Gatsby Theory of the Day(TM): Sheilah was having an affair… with Mel. Think about it: We start the year with Sheilah and Mel hitting it off. It’s about this time that the unsolicited affections start. It’s later, when Sheilah starts doing things like going to lunch with Mel, that Fitzgerald begins to believe she’s acting strange and suspect an affair. Sheilah’s the one to make Greater Gatsby a movie script and then recruit Mel to take it on (proving that Mel was lying to/obfuscating the truth from Ford during “Hook”, by the way). And then Mel callously fires Fitzgerald from Grapes of Wrath for no real professional reason and with apparent joy, almost like she has something personal, such as jealousy, against him. During his final missive, Fitzgerald tells Zelda about some great secret he’s found to put in his screenplay and that she would “laugh as I’ve been dosed some of my own medicine.” While supposedly he could have found out any secret from any of the party guests, the implication is that this final, deadly secret is about someone doing to Scott what he’d done to Zelda. Did someone steal his work? Possible, but everyone knows about Darby rewriting Grapes of Wrath, so not altogether likely. So maybe, just maybe, one of the women he was seeing was having an affair behind his back. Perhaps Fitzgerald discovered once and for all that Sheilah was having an affair, with Mel of all people, and, with alongside his previously cultivated antipathy towards Mel decides to throw that fact into the screenplay, damn the consequences. Meanwhile, we know that TD would do anything for his beloved Mel, and he’s probably also a little resentful about being kept out of the social club. So he finds out that Fitzgerald knows about the affair and intends to reveal it to the world, and, to protect Mel from scandal, kills Fitzgerald and takes the manuscript. Knowing that they both knew about the affair would explain why Fitzgerald talked the way he did to the mysterious stranger at the end. And yeah I know, this whole theory is a little wild, but never let it be said that I’m afraid of a big swing.

(A potential argument against this theory is the pre-Thanksgiving recording, when Sheilah urgently calls for Fitzy and he goes to help her, saying “Blast, not again! I thought we’d put a stop to this!” A stop to what? If I’m right about Mel, the “unsolicited affections” likely would have stopped by this point. On the other hand, the “this” could be something completely different. Is Fitzy the first victim of the threatening hate mail? Or is a third thing happening? Because it’s hard to see what he meant by “put a stop to it” if talking about letters, whether written with love or hate. Unless of course he knew who was sending them?)

On the other hand, Sheilah is not the only woman in Fitzy’s LA life. Vivian starts the second episode by making it very clear that she gets what she wants. The Greater Gatsby script tells the story of a innocent young man arriving in LA to write movies before falling under the allure of a morally dubious red-headed woman. Was Vivian inspiration for this character? Or was Fitzgerald already writing a meaty role for his red-headed mistress, a role that someone like Willie couldn’t snatch away? (Meanwhile, I should note that while coming up with this Vivian-esque character is when Fitzgerald starts to accuse Sheilah of acting strangely. Maybe he’s deflecting his own behavior onto her, excusing his own affair by accusing her of having one as well?). Vivian also returns to Fitzy’s house on the night of his murder, leaving seconds before the supposed killer arrives. It doesn’t seem likely that secret Fitzy discovered is hers—that’s just not the tone of the conversation. But tones can be misleading. And Fitzgerald uncovering her big secret and putting it in his script would fit the role the Vivian-esque character seems to play. Regardless, Fig and Ford are right—Viv did lie to them and her angle in this whole case is hard to understand. What exactly is she up to? Did she see the killer? Was it Barnaby and that’s why she’s so sure? But why not tell the police?

And speaking of Barnaby—his icy warning to Fitzgerald was chilling and completely belies his earlier statements to Fig and Ford. It seems like our girls aren’t the only ones lying through their teeth. I’m really loving how this character turned out—he’s so charmingly dorky and funny but with these moments of darkness that make you understand why Vivian’s accusing him of strangling another man to death. Also I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if his joke about the dead fellow soldier wasn’t a joke at all. Really, things aren’t looking good for either of the Nightingales.

Moving on from them for a bit, though, we learned a bit more about the Brigade and their thoughts on the Greater Gatsby. Fitzgerald gets the idea for Greater Gatsby, announcing his intention to fill in the gaps (which we know come to contain the secrets of various Hollywood insiders) right as he’s about to attend the first meeting of what will become the Brigade. We later learn that the Brigade unanimously despise the script (it’s not just Donald), so its interesting to wonder about the role they play in shaping its earlier development. Does someone spill secrets to Fitzgerald that they later regret enough to kill for?

On the subject of the murder, what about that license plate? “1ADLR1.” Something about it feels familiar but I can’t tell you what. I spent several minutes trying to remember who was called “Adler” before realizing I was thinking about the Planetarium Meredith Stepien works at in Chicago. Also, it’s funny that car expert and fussy neighbor Citizen Jasper Fox failed to mention such a loud vehicle when talking about Fitzy’s last night. Did he just respect the car too much? What is he hiding? Regardless, the murderer’s silence on the tapes indicates that they knew about their presence. By my count, the people who know for sure about them are: Sheilah, Vivian, TD, Mel, Dorothy, Darby, Ernest, and George.

Speaking of George Astrum of Astrum Appliances (Jon Cozart!), it seems pretty apparent that he and the Highwayman are one in the same. But is this a red-herring? Or is there even more to George than doorway robbery? Is it possible that he’s in fact the missing Eugene? Honestly, I could see Jon Cozart as the addition to the Brosenthal/Esther sibling double act. The Persauds also take a moment to let us know that Astrum knows about the tapes. Was Astrum actually an investigator doing recon? Could he be reporting back to the eventual murderer, letting them know to stay quiet incase Fitzgerald has his tape-deck going?

Which brings us to our final big plot thread: Rex's letter and Lex’s baffling subsequent disappearance. Why escalate with Lex Punchwhistle of all people? Were the Punchwhistle twins the original targets in all of this? Does that timeline even work out—people didn’t know they were coming until after Willie received her letter. And how does Eugene play into all of this? Is he behind the letters? Did Lex see the letter first and follow some hidden clue back to Eugene (we know she was following up on some leads), leaving Rex to assume the worst? Or did the leads she was following get her into trouble, and the threatening letter just happened to arrive at the same time?

The next episode is already out and I am SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO IT!! Seems like it’s essentially the mid-season finale and I can’t tell if I should be excited, terrified, or both

Some stray thoughts because there was too much to pontificate about:

-Shout out to the LBD cast in these episodes! Obviously Mary Kate is amazing and Vivian is so much fun. DVG was a terrific centerpiece and guide through the last year of Fitzy’s life, and Julia Cho’s just been fucking killing it this whole time. Also DVG and Laura Spencer totally need to play love interests at some point so that he can have romanced all three Bennett sisters.

-Fitzgerald revealed that he and Zelda promised to visit each other in December. Is this just another reminder of how Fitzgerald’s life was tragically cut short too soon? Or were these plans for early December, and their failure to follow through on them, relevant to Fitzy’s demise?

-Fitzy was so real when reacting to the actual sound of his own voice. Every time I hear how I sound I die a little inside.

-That line about tape recorders being too fussy for Zelda’s “idiotic mind” is a major OOF moment. No wonder she has issues, if he talks to her like that.

-DYLAN! Didn’t talk much about his stuff cause it didn’t seem as plot relevant but it was such a joy to hear him and I really like Donald! One of Hollywood’s last good men!

-Fitzy was totally selling Greater Gatsby to Roger, right? The conversation with Ernest probably gave him the idea.

[mikuni14]

Only Friends Ep 11

Nick and Boston Nick has changed the most, I'm impressed by how much he has matured and calmed down since the first episode. He still has a lot of work to do (for example, he still can't manage his relationships, and he still has no qualms about being nasty and making dirty tricks), but I like how he reacts immediately and calls out Boston's bullshit. Still, I can't get over the fact that he's choosing Boston over Dan (but that's just me, I like Dan). Because is Boston a good option? Can a playboy become someone's monogamous boyfriend? Personally, I don't know of such cases, apart from fictional romances 😉 As I once mentioned, Boston has a problem with underestimating other people and overestimating himself. He underestimated Nick, he underestimated Atom, and it ruined his position, friendships, and reputation. And it doesn't matter that Boston is innocent, that he keeps saying that he doesn't force anyone to do anything. What counts is the end final result. And let's be honest, no one believes "the slut" and Boston still doesn't get it. Nick is right to say that Boston has learned nothing. And I'm afraid that one day Boston will underestimate someone again and have to pay for it again, only this time Nick may be a collateral damage.

Mew and Top I really liked their part, probably because Top told Mew exactly what I said before 😎 It's good that Mew just cut off whatever he had going on with Boeing, without unnecessary drama, a surgical cut, which is something that Sand is not capable.

Sand and Ray With each episode, I become more and more convinced that this is an unhealthy relationship. First of all, Ray is an addict, he denies it, he does not realize the consequences of his actions, he has no sense of the wrongness of his actions. I can't imagine a lasting and promising relationship with such a person. The second issue, increasingly visible, which this episode only confirmed, is the inequality in this relationship. Sand is a "giver" as even his mother says, Ray just takes all the time. What does Ray bring to this relationship? I don't know, but the constant talk about Ray's money, "sponsorship", and "rich boyfriend" jokes is kind of weird. And I think quite telling. Because I have to ask, if Ray had been a poor drunkard, would he have been given so many opportunities by society, his father.. and Sand? 😊 Notice that no matter how much Ray messes up, fights, or even physically attacks Sand, Sand ALWAYS forgives him and takes him back with just one word, "I'm sorry." He doesn't set boundaries (I mean he tries and then he just forgets about it, cue intimate scene and that's it. they're fine and happy together until the next fight), he doesn't make demands, he still gives and sacrifices himself. Now there was also a big fight, Sand has bruises, and what? They are together again, cue intimate scene in a bathtube, Ray continues to drink, Sand even helps him deal with the mild consequences of his actions! Like... Ray can't even handle a light punishment. Which HE DOESN'T EVEN TREAT AS A PUNISHMENT, JUST AS AN INCONVENIENCE AND A WAY TO SPEND TIME WITH SAND. Is the fact that Sand doesn't tell anyone about Ray intentional, accidental, or does Sand subconsciously expect that this relationship may not last? And this whole thing with Boeing… I have so much to say, but whatever. Sand seems impatient with Boeing, but on the other hand he allows this whole childish crap situation to happen. I like Top even more, as he immediately confronted Mew and Boeing and their childish behavior. And how can Boeing be Sand's type?? For me it is obvious that Sand is most relaxed, open and happy when he is in the company of… Nick 😀

Cheum's reaction to her brother's confession deserves special mention. From the ENTIRE confession she only caught that her little brother had come out, not that her little brother had consciously lied about such a serious matter, a literally criminal case involving SA and someone rich, a politician's son, who could ruin his and her lives. Also I remember Atom's face clearly from the previous episode, it was not the face of someone who suffers and lashes out. So Cheum, the problem is not your brother's messy exploration of sexuality, but what he is capable of at such a young age, his stupid cruelty that may one day harm him and you.

I honestly don't know how this series will end, whether these couples have a chance for a future with their characters, experiences and shared history. I'm really curious about this 😊

I just want to say that Mark and Mond are incredibly attractive and have the most beautiful smiles 😍

[inkofamethyst]

May 2, 2023

AYYYY I SOLVED THE MYSTERY BEFORE THEY DID :D  First time, House s3e2 :)))))  Medical mystery shows are a bit different from the typical whodunnit show because there’s a huge amount of knowledge that I simply do not possess and never intend to.  I know some basic bio and a bit of anatomy with a few fun medical facts thrown in, but I can’t ever in the slightest expect myself to deduce the culprit in any episode, unlike in Midsomer Murders or something where fewer of the clues require extensive, broad-ranging knowledge of very specific topics.  Regardless, I can’t stop myself from semi-actively thinking about solutions to medical mysteries, and it’s finally paid off (mostly thanks to my undergrad concentration in genetics).

I’m not very good at asserting myself.  I am very afraid of being wrong, even when there are no actual consequences.  This is.. not good.  Not at all.  I keep thinking back to when that expert dude was pestering engaging me when I was first presenting my research, and he asked me why I hadn’t included one particularly recent paper in my references.  I thought for sure I had scoured publications and had the most recent articles that mentioned my topic even in passing.  But I didn’t say that.  I could have, but I waited for this white-haired old dude to look up the paper and search for my keyword only for it to not show up anywhere.  Then I felt comfortable saying that I had only found xyz papers and that no one has touched this topic in years blah blah blah.  Everyone can be wrong, everyone.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean I should keep my mouth shut when I think I’m right.  It does the body good, to get used to being wrong sometimes (I’m still reeling from when I confidently asked a question in my first math lecture freshman year and it turns out my assumptions were wrong and the question didn’t make any sense (I really need to let that go)).

Today I’m thankful for my ulta cozy grad uni sweatshirt (likely the first of... three, probably) :)  I know that it’s going to be ~academically rigorous~ n all but I am looking forward to the aesthetic SO MUCH.  I mean, I look so good in this color.  The libraries, the cafes, the commanding a certain level of respect and admiration... UGH.  Literally can’t wait.

Also thankful that while I am technically in my second to last week of school,,,, two of my profs have straight up cancelled class for the last week.  Keep in mind, I only attend three actual classes twice a week, plus a discussion section.  So next week is literally just ballet on two mornings and that’ll be it lol.  No TAing, no more coursework for my major.  My major will sort of just end after I take my last two midterms (and presumably do well on them) and submit my final project for cell bio.

Plan is to go for a night on the town next week after the last day of classes with my photo-, dancer-, and cello-friends.  I’ve never been to a club before.  I did buy a top for the occasion :)  I’ve never even gone drinking before.  I don’t know how much to budget.  $50?  $100???  I’m not trying to go crazy or anything, but transportation, cover, drinks... it’s not cheap.

Gotta force myself to go to bed.  I managed to not take a nap today despite being wrecked by the sleepytired, and I’ve encountered a second wind which is screwing with me.  And it’s uncharacteristically chilly outside, so I can’t go for a promenade about the mall to tire myself out.  I need to be up at seven tomorrow oh my godddd.  Maybe the baritone drone of Cecil Gershwin Palmer can knock me out [edit, next day: night vale did the trick!].

[giftfromblythe]

Courage Beyond All Measure

A price, a gift, a call not mine Has broken my old innocence Into the bloody pieces of A faith that remains unmet. I had a friend whose heart gave me My first bitter taste of regret; Her truth could not become my truth, Her love was never granted. What shall become of that lost love I gave to her without reserve? The price was always mine to pay, But I never gave consent. I do not think she now recalls The pain she sowed inside my soul, But still I wonder if she thought Of what she has wrought in me. My trust betrayed, my belief warped; These are the true consequences She brought to bear without regard For the lies that have festered. The call of her vitality Was dazzling to the ear I lent To her constructed wondrous tales I knew not how to resist. Perhaps the gift she gave in turn Lies deep within nightmarish dreams Of all who’ve turned their backs on me, When I could do naught but scream. The trust that I once freely gave Has transformed into crippling fear Of those who only seek to share The gift I used to treasure. So when I offer you my heart, Oh you, my friend beyond compare, Know that the act of offering Took courage beyond all measure.

I’ve written previously about how one of the most important parts of mental health recovery is reaching out to others, but I haven’t gone into much detail about what that was like for me.

A bit of background: as you can probably tell from this poem, I, like many young people with mental illness, experienced a lot of bullying and social rejection as a child and teen.  I also had a lot of friends who could be best described as two-faced, which frankly was even worse for my ability to trust.  For a long time, those memories of rejection and betrayal kept me from forming meaningful connections.  Those few who had the patience and compassion to make it past my defenses tended to be extraordinary people.  Those were the people who began to restore my ability to trust.

That is not to say that I was passive in those friendships.  Quite the opposite: returning their affection required the second-most courageous act of my life.

If I had been passive, I couldn’t have formed those connections.  I would have been too afraid to accept what they were offering.  I wouldn’t have allowed myself to confide in them or experience anything beyond sharing the most superficial conversations and activities.

And I would have missed out on some of the most fulfilling friendships of my life.  I would have been unbelievably lonely.  Honestly, my mental health might have spiraled again—certainly, it did when I was living alone and had only one friend I could see in person for five years.

One of the turning points for me was when I was in the middle of the second of my two extremely severe depressive episodes.  I had made two close friends prior to the moment I’m about to describe, but I had been subconsciously viewing them as exceptions; this event showed me that there were far more trustworthy people out in the world than I had ever expected.

I was in college at the time, my senior year.  I was really struggling, both physically unwell and borderline suicidal.  I had actually entrusted my medication to my college’s mental health services for a few days several weeks before this occurred, so that I wouldn’t be able to intentionally overdose.  I needed to go get a refill of those meds and a few other things to improve my mental health, but I was too anxious to make the walk downtown to the pharmacy.  In a vague attempt to do something about it, but not expecting much, I mentioned in the group chat for the seniors in my dorm that I needed to run errands and didn’t think I was up to going alone, and next thing I knew…one of the other seniors had organized an outing of every senior in the dorm to go run errands and have a meal together.

I made some friends that day, but most importantly: I learned that there are a lot of people who really, truly do want the best for each other.  It was one of the most incredible acts of kindness I’d experienced from another person, and the young woman who did it…didn’t have a clue how much it meant until I thanked her.  To her, it was simply a way to help me out and hang out with friends.  She didn’t realize she probably saved my health.

It never would have happened if I hadn’t made that first, tentative step of asking for help.

That moment took a lot of courage.  It was difficult and I expected it to fail, but I did it anyway, and something beautiful came out of it.

My current friendships were made possible because of that single act of courage—and every act of courage since.

That moment didn’t magically flip a switch in my head to allow me to trust again.  It simply was a major step on the path of relearning how to trust.

I wrote the poem in this post because it’s something I’m still learning—it dates to almost two months ago—and I still have a ways to go, but I’ve reached a point where the future connections I could make are no longer a source of fear.  Instead, they’re a culmination of all the moments I’ve chosen to be brave.

I think that’s beautiful.

I hope this poem and the story behind it help give you the courage to reach out too.  Thanks for reading.  As always, take care, listen well, and share your stories.

—Blythe

[thebroccolination]

Yessss the way the first episode is set up is so smart because the first half shows how he’s been living his life: muted, restrained, shy, awkward. So he’s undervalued, lonely, dispirited, and unhappy.

Then the second half is all about wish fulfillment, but it’s all still relatively reasonable if you think about what he could have done in what he thinks is limitless, consequence-free space. He pouts at Pisaeng for saying he was Pear’s buddy, holds his clothes hostage so he’ll agree to go with him to talk to Pear, uses his money to buy himself drinks (because he’s still hurt by an acquaintance calling him boring), and then he stops a guy from beating his girlfriend (and then tries to kick him aldkaljd) because he didn’t help the first time.

But what I thought was most adorable about the whole episode is that even in a dream, Kawi’s too afraid to talk to Pear on his own. Even in an Anything Goes context, he would rather spend most of the day tailing Pisaeng so he won’t have to talk to her alone.

I’m going to love his character arc. :’)

I adore that Kawi thinks it's all a dream so he's just doing all the things he imagined he would do if he got the chance without realizing that he's actually changing the past. Living a life he dreamed of because there are no consequences is very different than living the life he's always and already lived because there were always consequences and he's freeing himself for all the ways he's held himself back.

[l-artemisia-del-secolo]

Too many options

Yelena Belova x reader, a lil bit angsty, a lil bit fluffy, mentions of mindcontrol, happy ending as usual, adjusting to ordinary life

You wanted this evening so badly. Dreaming about it for weeks. Finally everything was close to normal. No alien invasions or governmental missions. No nightmares or tears for both of you for almost a month. You were expecting an ordinary date. As much as it can be under your circumstances.

But Yelena wasn't there yet. You were waiting in your meeting spot for almost an hour. It wasn't something new. Out of a sudden she could have a briefing or a mandatory status report. But she always managed to at least send a text. When both of you were particularly lucky she even could call you.

But this time it was different. Not a text, not a call. You yourself tried to contact her a few times. Her number was unavailable.

You had a bad feeling about this. How could you not. You knew too well the nature of her work. The possible outcomes and consequences. The ones that didn't let you sleep at night. Horrific dreams of her possible injury, even death. Yelena tried so hard to help you fight this, while being simultaneously consumed by other fears herself.

Adjusting was hard. Especially in the first few months of your relationship. It was mere weeks when you met after she was freed of mind control.

And in the beginning it was intense. Sure, Avengers did provide the resources for needed support. But it was you who had to deal with mood swings, depressions or anger issues.

Adjusting to the real world was hard, exhausting and painful.

Yelena warned you though in the beginning. She's not used to ordinary life. But with you she'd like to try.

It was getting ridiculous, so you went home.

What you saw there shocked you.You didn't know whether Yelena was there or not so opted to use your own key.

There were piles of clothes on the floor in the hallway. Yelena's clothes. What the hell was going on?

"Lena, are you here?"

No answer. You carefully proceeded to the next room. The same thing. Piles of shirts and jeans, jackets and coats were just lying around. They were not torn or anything. Just there, waiting to be picked up and worn.

"Yelena?" You called again, hoping for at least something.

When you finally reached your bedroom you were almost afraid to get inside.

"Love, are you there?" You asked as you were opening the door.

You sighed with relief. But it lasted only a second.

Your woman was sitting on her knees near the biggest stack of staff. Her hair tangled, eyes red from tears. She was wearing a weird mix of pajama pants and her bra.

As soon as you understood the surrealism of the situation you rushed to her.

"Babe, what's happened?" You clumsily fell on your knees in front of her.

She didn't react, blankly staring at the mirror, which you now were blocking.

"Малыш, что случилось? (Babe, what happened?)" You said in your broken Russian. That was the trick that you often used to calm her down. It was her idea in fact. She taught you this language herself.

Yelena heard you and slowly opened and closed her mouth.

"Лена, кто-то был здесь? Тебя ранили? (Lena, someone was here? Are you hurt?)"

You carefully examined her face, barely touching her. No blood, no visible injury. Same with the neck and shoulders.

It took her almost five minutes to properly feel you on her skin. She was confused, but she was finally there with you.

"What, what are you doing?" She removed your hand from her body. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean..."

"I said, I'm fine." Yelena raised her voice, but immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry. I know you have questions. But I did it myself."

"Yourself?" You echoed in disbelief.

"Да. (yes)" She got on her feet. And put on the nearest t-shirt. "I... It's hard to explain."

"Do you want something. Anything?" You couldn't fathom what was going on. But you were sure that Yelena thought of this as "I can handle this on my own" situations. And that wasn't a good sign.

"No." She shrugged. "I'm sorry, I've missed our dinner."

"It's fine. We'll have another one." You gave her a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, if It doesn't happen next time too." She laughed bitterly. "With me you never know, ha? Kinda like a time bomb."

You tried to approach her, but she shook her head.

"It's always like that. Aren't you tired of it? We're having a great day, week, month. But I always find a way to screw it up."

She hated herself during moments like this. Always feeling like she still didn't have control over her own life. Who knew where and when the next outburst could happen. And what could trigger it.

"It's not your fault." You once again tried to reach out to her. This time she stepped away from you.

"Right." She let out a groan. "But it's my fault. But somehow it's because of me, we're standing in this mess instead of enjoying our life together."

She was so angry, so frustrated. This was supposed to be your romantic evening. Personal, intimate. All those things she was always denied.

"We are enjoying ourselves. It's just an episode..."

"Really? That's how you call it?" Yelena was almost hysterical. "A fucking episode. Do you even..."

She clenched her fists, and the vein on her neck could burst at any moment. She started pacing the room, avoiding at any cost looking at you.

"You want to know what happened? I was preparing, you know, choosing the clothes. Started thinking about it. And I..." She suddenly stopped, trying at least to calm her breath. "I... I got overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do. You won't believe it, but suddenly I felt a burden of responsibility... What should I wear, how should I combine clothes and how others would perceive me. How you would. What color, what style...should I copy someone or I'm good enough myself...I...I was always told what to wear and now..."

You didn't care about her protests anymore. You hugged her, immediately feeling her heartbeat, her fire on your skin. She was trembling all this time, devouring herself from inside, killing another Yelena, the one that she didn't control.

"I... I..." She couldn't stop herself. Weeping and shaking, she was finally defeated by reality.

It took her a few minutes to come back to you. You felt it. She kissed your collarbone, asking for attention.

"I'm with you, babe. I can only imagine what it's like. Being overwhelmed by options, by your own responsibility, by the consequences of the actions you yourself took. But it's ok." You were gently stroking her hair. "You hear me? It's ok. We... We are gonna work on that. Simplify everything. Reduce the number of options. And it's not about clothes, it's a...about everything. We'll get there. I promise."

"You're going to throw everything away?" Yelena whispered.

"Maybe. temporary, I guess. We should have thought it through. Not buy mindlessly everything we see."

"Even my vests?' Yelena sounded so timid. She was hiding in your embrace, putting herself together again.

"Of course not. Кем ты меня считаешь? (who do you think I am?). We're keeping the vests at any cost." You could feel Yelena smiled so close to your heart.

You both knew there was so much hard work ahead. Overcoming and fighting, breaking and building. But you were ready for it. Both of you. It was worth it.

[the-daydreaming-show]

(First of all sorry for the long text, but honestly none of my friends see the seriousness and I never get the chance to talk, so I have a lot to say hahaha— And second, thank you for the feedback and not taking anything as an attack, I personally find the debate entertaining, feel free to ignore if you don't agree) (PS: It's the same person, different blog, I can't change it now hahaha)

Firstly, don't worry because I've read the books, but personally, there are so many differences between the series and the books that I considered them two separate worlds. Honestly, I would have LOVED Alicent to be totally ambitious, like Martín describes her in the books. But there are people who are not afraid of success, and some fans can't handle a complex female character like Alicent in the series now. Imagine if she were like the books.

Personally, when reading the book, I didn't find everything so deeply tragic, but in perspective, that is a consequence of the way it is written (without personal pov and like a history book). But later, when you think about it, you realize the tragedy in more depth.

But I think that Alicent's story arc through the series is particularly strong, because we see much more detail of her passage through all the stages of her life. Not even with Rhaenyra or Aegon do we see as much of their traditions, because many things that happen to them that should be highlighted for their characters (weddings, births of children, etc.) we don't see, and they are part of the time jump.

But we see all the major points of Alicent's life, and I think they are shown because it is a particularly important fall. And even though her goal in the dress scene wasn't to be what they expected of her, she ended up being that anyway. Otto confirms this in the Driftmark episode, when he says that she has the strength that he thought she didn't have, which could be translated as: I thought you couldn't help me achieve MY goals, but it seems that in the end you are useful. One way or another, she ends up being a pawn in other people's games, which is particularly sad compared to other characters (I'm not discrediting the suffering of other characters with this phrase, I'm clear).

As for Criston, I don't doubt that he sees Alicent as his entire world, or his loyalties. But I don't like him; he was a gentleman, only until they chose the duty of the crown over him, and although it is his right to be hurt, Joffrey's murder was unjustified. And Lord Beesbury's was also brutal and senseless; Alicent herself is disturbed by it. If he had truly seen both of them as more than just a thing to protect, he would not have so aggressively jumped at both men for just words, as he would have understood that they could handle their situations and follow their requests if needed. And in general, his character is not very stable, which I feel is not good company for anyone, in general.

i absolutely love alicent's ep 5 arc.

she begins the ep alone. without allies. without friends. without family. a hightower in the dragons' den.

everyone just expects alicent to silently accept her fate. to be grateful that she was chosen as viserys's king consort. to wear the Targaryen colors and be at her husband's disposal.

but alicent puts up a fucking fight. she's done trying to fit in and please people that have no respect for her.

i also love how my queen immediately went to the hightowers' table. she wants everybody to know exactly who she is.

"i worried that given leave of your father's shadow, you might wither in king landing's sun. but you stood tall"

and in the end, she ends up making a friend that will become her lifelong companion and biggest supporter.

alicent owned that episode.

[jumpols-nostrils]

Something I meant to talk about, tho I'm sure it's been done before and I just can't find it, is the parallels between the Eclipse and Not Me when it comes to action and consequences. I mean for protesting.

Because in Not Me it played a very important role. White sabotaged Sean's plan last second because he knew it would make people angry. Because they would have subsequently hurt the people that consume the product. Even if it wouldn't have been too bad, but they would have (in theory) fed people a substance they weren't aware of. Obviously their plan would have also failed and all that, but in theory the harm of others would have been a consequence of their actions. In the end, their actions still have negative consequences for people they never meant to harm. We learn this mostly through Yok's mother and other online news where the gang find out that the workers have been dismissed. These people were not the intended target at all and the gang feels shitty for both having hurt them and being misunderstood by the general mainstream when their intentions are good.

Tawi, the original target, uses this against them, makes them look like the bad guys, guilt trips them and makes himself look like the good guy.

In The Eclipse however this is completely turned around. The The World Remembers gang is actually protesting completely in peace. If people wanted to, they could completely ignore them. It doesn't harm anyone except for the oppressing people and system. And that also more on a level where it hurts the school's prestige than anything else. Yet teachers tell them otherwise, try to makes them feel guilty. This time teacher Waree tells them that they are "causing fear in the other students" and troubles, and that they are being selfish for doing so.

Pretty deranged way to guilt-trip someone into stopping to stand up for their own rights.

And I think this is important to look at because both is a thing. Actions to protest can have consequences that hurt people. But it can also not be the case. Peacefully protesting will never hurt anyone except for maybe the protestors that are usually being oppressed by, you guessed it, the very thing they protest.

And I simply love how blatantly the two series show these two sides of the coin.

I also love that Not Me is probably airing as a rerun pretty much parallel to The Eclipse

Another thing I loved about how it was handled in this episode of the Eclipse is that the other students didn't ignore it. Didn't blindly believe that half-hearted threat. If teacher Waree says that the others ought to also be afraid of the rising curse, that it causes them trouble, I'd call that some kind of threat- but for lack of a better word. I'd love to have an alternative. But either way, I said people could ignore this protest. But they didn't. They join. They yell in unison with the protestors. Showing also that they don't feel afraid or troubled.

To me that was such an amazing moment. I wish for nothing more in this show than to see Akk join in as well, in some form at least. At some point. Maybe 😌