#and says people die lem

[dancy-nrew]

Imagine another candidate Fero au drawing I don’t have time for

[harrowharkwife]

for the character meme: dulcie or cam or pal or a character of ur choosing!!! hehe

!!!!! ty lem!! im gonna do my girl dulcie...

favorite thing about them: honestly just the way she's written- it never fails to make me emotional that she *is* explicitly written as being brave and strong, but tamsyn neatly sidesteps the "inspiration porn" ableist stereotype of writing a character as being brave/strong *because* they are sick. dulcie isn't brave or strong because of her illness. her strength and bravery are explicitly positioned, IMO, as being in response to surviving *ableism* and other people's condescension towards her and mistreatment of her, rather than surviving her illness itself, if that makes sense. her health is just a fact of her life, it's not moralized. which i really, really appreciate. it's a small shift, but it's very meaningful to me.

ALSO deeply special to me: her intentional and careful commitment to boundaries re: The Palamedes Of It All. a refreshing change of pace, as far as these books go vgjtjxdjt

least favorite thing about them: i mean. houser. :/

favorite line: three way tie between "truly, wonderful news for my haters," "i am sick of roses and horny for revenge," and "oops, there i go again, never doing what i'm told"

brOTP: gideon!!!!! i think it's a crying shame they've never met. i think they'd get along tremendously. the whole cytherea gideon thing was Horrid and Awful in so many ways, but it always Extra stings (in an adding-insult-to-injury sort of way) when i think about what it would have been like if gideon had REALLY met dulcinea, and not cyth. dulcie would've been a great friend for her, i think. they'd have been so good at making each other laugh

OTP: honestly these days it's cam? @ palamedes ily but get outta here gayboy it's yuri time now. plus i just love chewing on the concept of cam + comphet, and cam + subconscious internalized misogyny, and cam + gender, and cam + her relationships and interactions with other women. i think there's lots to explore there. camdulcie has a certain "when i was eight i didn't realize i had a crush on the new girl in my grade so i just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'" energy about it, To Me

nOTP: idk if i really have one for her, specifically? idk. ianthe or something, fuck it.

random headcanon: stoner. on all levels except physical she is taking fuckall huge bong rips. on the physical level though her lungs suck so i think she'd be a tincture girlie. she's got chronic pain she deserves it. am i projecting? you tell me

unpopular opinion: idk if this is an unpopular opinion exactly, but i always see people referring to thee rejected proposal as being something born primarily out of love/out of romantic intent? and i don't know if that's necessarily how i see it. it was CERTAINLY, and obviously, a factor. but at least from my interpretation of pal's monologue to cytherea at the end there, i get the sense that he had already accepted her boundaries in that regard, because he says he "understood that he was a child." and we also get camilla saying that his motivations in proposing were primarily a means-to-an-end way of getting her off the seventh and letting her die with dignity. iirc her exact words were like "so she could spend what time she had left with people who cared about her." like, don't get me wrong, i think pal is lying to himself if he says that being in love with dulcie wasn't PART of the motivation there. but i find it a lot more interesting in a worldbuilding and social commentary way to interpret the circumstances there as him offering, essentially, to be a hospice doctor at age 19, and marriage being the 'easiest' way to get her off the seventh/planet medical malpractice. there's an imperial misogyny ownership-through-marriage throughline there that's nauseating, as well as the implications re: disability and agency and autonomy, and i think that's all very interesting to explore. i think this view is supported in part by the paldulcie interaction in TUG, where she alludes to the idea that she was cognizant about the impact that bearing witness to death and loss up-close and personal like that changes a person, and that she didn't want to do that to pal and cam, especially given their age. i think it informa dulcie's character and grants her additional narrative agency to look at things from that angle, of her "no" being in reference to *both* the age gap AND her intentional choice to continue suffering on the seventh, rather than put two kids through being hospice caregivers and/or widowers at nineteen– no matter how many times and how sincerely they kept offering, no matter that she would've absolutely had a more peaceful and comfortable end-of-life HAD she accepted his proposal and gone to the sixth to die. i think it says a lot about her as a person, that choice. there's a quiet and meaningful responsibility to her as a person that i find fascinating. and her character is just sooooo firmly rooted in and informed by disability politics, on every level, and i feel like people don't engage with that aspect of her characterization enough!

song i associate with them: ooooh SO many, i have a whole playlist. but i think the biggest ones are

-the drama by kesha ("friday night, get too high, keep checking my pulse, am i dead yet?" / "in the next life i wanna come back, as a housecat as a housecat! i'd sleep and play in the sun, i'd be a fuckin' cute son of a gun!")

-avant gardener by courtney barnett (the whole song really, but especially the lines "the paramedic thinks i'm clever cause i play guitar, i think she's clever cause she stops people dyin'," and "i take a hit off an asthma puffer, i do it wrong, i was never good at smokin' bongs." i just think she'd love this song.)

-honorable mentions include stoned at the nail salon by lorde, life according to raechel by madison cunningham, rose-colored boy by paramore (@ palamedes, lmfao), picture me better by weyes blood, extraordinary machine by fiona apple, rubberband girl by kate bush, last words of a shooting star by mitski.

favorite picture of them: oh man well it obviously has to be my icon... art made for me by the lovely @franzias-cave !!!! based on the concept of "the woman is dying, please do her the decency of allowing her to look the part in fanart." my girl... she's a malign fairy, she's a hot-eyed wraith <3

ty lem this was so fun! i love my gworl :')

[lbctal]

y’all mind if i yap about the walton gq interview a bit?

okay shoutout to my friend ash for manifesting this interview after danny did his LMAO

FIRST THOUGHTS: WHERE THE FUCK IS VENUS???

if you asked me his most iconic characters, venus is absolutely in the top three. how the fuck do they mention BILLY CRASH and JAY WHITTLE but not VENUS VAN DAM???? fuck whoever came up with this list.

now that that’s out of my system, let’s go in order, shall we?

lee russell: ty walton for describing russell fucking perfectly. him and i are the only people who understand russell. (jk) ALSO YESSS THE DUCK LIPS BUT SIR CAN YOU SAY A LINE. PLEASEEE. on my knees. MOST IMPORTANTLY; WALTON SHIPS GAMBYRUSSELL. FUCK YESSSS 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 LOVE WINS

cooper howard: snore. i’m so fucking bored of this guy. are we not tired of hearing shit about the goddamn ghoul. moving on.

shane vendrell: STOP MAKING ME WATCH LEM DIE. CHRIST. but thank you again walton for focusing more on the shield than on your biggest piece of shit character!! and when he started talking ‘psychological condition’ it reminded me of how i’m like almost certain shane is bipolar. wonder if he’d agree w me on that? anyways.

boyd crowder: WHYYYY DO THEY HAVE TO PLAY THE FINAL SCENE HOLY FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN. so thankful to mr. olyphant for convincing walton to do justified. their chemistry IS SO PALPABLE. his love for boyd and raylan and justified in general is so fucking precious to me and it makes the show so much more special and it would absolutely not be justified if it weren’t for his spectacular input. i could listen to him blab on about that show all fucking day, it’s the whole reason i love him. beautiful fucking words to describe it. just speechless. much love to this man. ‘raylan givens is an asshole. but he’s my asshole.’ WE KNOW YOU’RE THE ORIGINAL RAYLANBOYD SHIPPER, BABE. 🩶

baby billy freeman: this bit was JAM PACKED w info and i loved it sm. really shocked they just came up w him on the spot but you could really tell cuz he’s like the perfect combination of walton’s ideas and danny’s ideas cultivated into this old man. too bad he didn’t mention that he was inspired by his dad again, lol.

billy crash: this part was like a bit confusing to me cuz i have heard different stories about how he got the role from other sources but it’s good to get some confirmation. pretty akin to what i heard, though. also giggled a bit when he said you don’t change what quentin writes cuz tarantino himself said ‘someone’ wanted to change the ending of django. but y’all didn’t hear that from me, lmao. always love to watch billy crash writhing in pain. :)

chris mannix: also a lot of new info for this one!! although i already knew about all the drama about h8 and the leak and all that, it’s interesting to hear the process the actors went through. would’ve paid millions to hear him do his voice. also why is he gatekeeping info, UGH. all i wanna know is if he had an encounter with tarantino’s punsihment dildo for falling asleep on set. lmfao.

the hero / jay whittle: okay, at first i was kinda pissed that he got a spot instead of venus, but this might’ve been my favorite segment aside from boyd’s. I never really find anything about him talking about his time on set of I’m a virgo so this was such a nice treat. i LOVE how he approaches each one of his characters, it’s so special and is why each one of them are so special and different from any other character you’ve ever seen. the wig story was fucking hilarious and it’s just so sweet how he says let’s figure this person out together. such a wonderful guy. it is SUCH a BEAUTIFUL story with a POWERFUL message and i adore how he recognized that. and the way he described jay? CHEF’S FUCKING KISS. mid-life crisis superhero who behaves like an alcoholic and is incapable of seeing different than his own pov? walt, you’re a fucking genius. his closing statement was absolute beauty.

anyways thanks for reading my ramble.

JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL VENUS

[pluviisopibus]

Ask meme based on quotes from "That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon" by Kimberly Lemming.

Some are funny, some are sweet, some a little bit suggestive! They've been edited to work in the ask meme format.

I only have two things on my mind; cheese and how to get home.

Every scratch, every bruise, I will pay back in fire and blood.

That is so sweet but so unnecessary.

Oh, the troubles I go through for my wife/husband/spouse.

We don't need to have a ceremony or register with the church?

Darling, we burned down the church.

You don't remember?

Last night, you demanded we bring you cheese and then stated that you were the cheese queen/king/monarch.

[NAME], I can barely breathe when you are not near.

If anything were to happen to you...

If you left me to be alone again, these memories of you would kill me.

Hold on, did you just pull an entire bottle of liquor out of your pocket?

Who wouldn't want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?

Me, bitches. No, thank you.

My love, I'd sooner kill everyone here to save you the embarrassment.

I could die from this.

They'll have to write "fucked into oblivion" on my tombstone.

Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die.

You can talk? And not just basic words, either. Like, rational spoken words?

I tend to save my mindless screaming for Tuesdays.

A fucking demon attacked me last night and the day had the audacity to shine as if nothing happened? Rude.

Know this, little rabbit: I make good on my threats, but I make good on my promises, too.

Intruders will catch these flames.

Who needs him/her/them? Or any man/woman/person!

Love is for people with not enough wine in their hands!

My trusted nose locked on to the smell of aged cheddar and the race is on!

Oh, my sweet, I wish you hadn't done that.

I'm going to make you my wife/husband/spouse when this is all over.

I mean, not what I would say to the person who just beat your friend with your other friend.

Live your best life, I guess.

You're just doing this for the giggles!

Are you that bored?

Go to the festival and get drunk like a normal person!

I'm damn near foaming at the mouth and you're acting like we're discussing Sunday brunch!

Honestly, I think you two need to bone.

Someone should put a warning sign on you- Abs for days.

Unfortunately for you, I am a little petty.

I am a strong, independent adult. I am absolutely not turned on by that!

That's fine, I guess. If you like people who keep their shirts on.

You may call me a demon, but you're the cruel party here.

Maybe you're not a straight villain. Maybe just villain-adjacent.

I can work with that.

Well, we just started our new lives as pirates.

You were just told we killed a goddess and that's what you grab on to?

The best solution is to do what any grown adult should do in their time of need: Run home to mommy and daddy.

I'm going to ruin you, little rabbit.

Contrary to what you might have been told, the sight of a quivering, crying person does nothing for my arousal.

Fuck it. Piracy.

Does this mean you've agreed to be my wife/husband/spouse?

No, you're still a rapscallion.

We have haunted the dreams of men since the time of the ancients.

The grandchildren of those who hurt me will weep at the sound of my name after I throw them in the pyre of my hatred and dance in the rain of their ashes.

[any-n-everything]

something about bingqiu/bingyuan

i read mdzs first, followed by svsss, and then tgcf

i like all of them but there was always something that bothered me about svsss and that was the main cp, bingqiu/bingyuan

because, when i read mdzs and tgcf, i could more or less understand why wangxian and hualian were couples. because despite their vastly different personalities, their core values more or less aligned with one another. and i think that's neat and i love them for it.

but bingqiu/bingyuan always confused me because i couldn't make sense of their core values/why were they attracted to each other. i mean. i guess we can take the "shallow reading" route and say that it's because shen yuan has always adored binghe-the-white-lotus-protagonist and luo binghe loved shen yuan because he consistently chose him(?). their relationship is complicated and kind of a mess but like it's theirs so im not gonna bother too much about it.

but maybe because i like over-analysing, i still want to confirm to myself if they have a shared "core value" like the other two mxtx couples.

which leads me to my theory that their core value is their shared sense of self-preservation.

it makes sense to me because, from the moment shen yuan woke up as "scum villain shen qingqiu", he was predominantly motivated by his desire to keep living. many of his actions can be explained by this. which makes shen yuan's decision to NOT push binghe into the abyss very much an act of love, because he was essentially sacrificing what he holds dear (his own life) for his disciple. this was all ruined by the system, of course, and shen yuan was forced to push binghe into the abyss. he then became a grieving widow master.

so shen yuan's following actions were very interesting because he was very much expecting luo binghe to come kill him, but also, he kind of didn't want to die? but luo binghe kind of also has a right to murder his traitorous self? so he concocted the mushroom body plan. this way, binghe can get his closure by murdering his scum master, and shen yuan can continue to live! win-win amirite?

SQH: why are you like this cucumber-bro

and we all know how well that plan went

anyways, i went off on a tangent, BUT BASICALLY. shen yuan has very strong self-preservation instincts, but specifically when luo binghe is out of the picture. around LBH he just has the self-preservation of a lemming.

now binghe is harder to analyse (for me) because the novel is mostly in shen yuan's pov and he's an Unreliable Narrator so i'll be mostly focusing on binghe's life events and actions.

which are basically:

he survived the cold waters of the luo river as a baby

he survived a poor childhood when his adoptive mother didn't

he survived until he reached cang qiong mountain sect

he survived shen qingqiu (version shen jiu) and the bullying of his martial siblings

he survived being pushed down into the abyss

basically, binghe is a survivor. no matter what happens, he has a very strong desire to survive and is, more often than not, willing to pay any cost. the cost he isn't willing to pay, however, is shen yuan.

off the top of my head an example would be how bingge (he-with-no-shen-yuan) took a harem of beauties so he could control xin mo but bingmei (he-with-shen-yuan) decided to just... cripple people's cultivation. they're kind of both equally bad (let us never forget that bingge is a rapist) but it seemed that bingmei did not want to be intimate with anyone because he had shen yuan in his heart. i dunno if this makes sense but what i'm getting at is that binghe was willing to pay other people's lives just so he didn't have to be intimate with anyone except shen yuan.

so there's something poetic about how shen yuan would pay his life for binghe and binghe would pay literally anything else except shen yuan (and i guess the things/people he cares about and are related to him).

and im really not here to discuss morality or anything but looking at bingqiu/bingyuan, i still get the feeling that, if shen yuan hadn't been born with "modern standards" and "modern sensibilities", he would be a little more callous and uncaring of other people's lives. because, at his core, he would prioritise his own life over other people's. like, you know, his husband.

that's not the shen yuan we got tho so oh well

[bookgendrya]

Once, when there had been only half as many heads, Gendry had caught Arya looking at them. “Admiring your work?” he asked. He was angry because he’d liked Lucan, she knew, but it still wasn’t fair. “It’s Steelshanks Waltons work,” she said defensively. “And the Mummers, and Lord Bolton.” “And who gave us all of them? You and your weasel soup.” Arya punched his arm. “It was just hot broth. You hated Ser Amory too.” “I hate this lot worse. Ser Amory was fighting for his lord, but the mummers are sellswords and turncloaks.Half of them can’t even speak the Common Tongue. Septon Utt likes little boys, Qyburn does black magic, and your friend Biter eats people.” The worst thing was, she couldn’t even say he was wrong. The Brave Companions did most of the foraging for Harrenhal, and Roose Bolton had given the task of rooting out Lannisters. […] All he did was return to the places he had visited before under Lord Tywin’s banner and seize those who had helped him.

Thothmure had been sent to the axe for dispatching birds to Casterly Rock and King’s Landing the night Harrenhal had fallen. Lucan the armorer for making weapons for the Lannisters, Goodwife Harra for telling Lady Whent’s household to serve them, the steward for giving Lord Tywin the keys to the treasure vault. The cook was spared (some said because he’d made the weasel soup), but stocks were hammered together for pretty Pia and the other women who’d shared their favors with Lannister soldiers. Stripped and shaved, they were left in the middle ward beside the bear pit, free for the use of any man who wanted them.

Look with your eyes, Arya wanted to shout at the men below. “Can’t they see we’re no lords or knights?” she whispered. “I don’t think they care, Arry,” Gendry whispered back. And she looked at Ser Amory’ a face, the way Syrio had taught her to look, and she saw that he was right.

All the other places they’d come upon had been empty and desolate. Farms, villages, castles, septa, barns, it made no matter. If it could burn, the Lannister’s had burned it; if it could die, they’d killed it. […] “They would have burned the lake if they could have,” Gendry had said, and Arya knew he was right.

The next night, they found shelter beneath the scorched shell of a sept, in a burned village called Sallydance. Only shads remained of it’s windows of leaded glass and the aged septon who greeted them said the looters had even made off with the Mother’s costly robes, the Crone’s gilded lanterns, and the silver crown the Father had worn. “They hacked off the Maiden’s breasts off too, though those were only wood,” he told them. “All the eyes, the eyes were jet and lapis and mother-of-pearl, they pried them out with their knives. May the Mother have mercy on them all.” “Who’s work was this?” said Lem Lemoncloak. “Mummers?” “No,” the old man said. “Northmen, they were. Savages who worship trees. They wanted the Kingslayer, they said.” Arya heard him, and chewed her lip. She could feel Gendry looking at her. It made her angry and ashamed.

[rei-ismyname]

Dueling, class, and state violence through the centuries - an amateur perspective.

I wonder when the ancient and idiotic practice of the formalised duel will return to popularity. Most human practices operate in cycles, so it seems inevitable to me. I also wonder what updates/changes might be made due to technology and societal factors.

I find it really funny how much effort the Church put into trying to ban it during the middle ages, and even more so because Dueling was mostly the domain of the chivalric classes. Knights in particular (as they do) interpretated dueling as 'challenge/goad passersby into a fight and beat the shit out of them/rob them.' It seems dueling became even more of a privilege in the High Middle Ages as it was restricted to nobility in the HRE.

From 1580 to 1620 it's estimated that 10,000 French noblemen died in duels (seriously nobility and royalty are so good at dying - they're like inbred lemmings), and the practice remained popular throughout the century - despite Louis XIII outright banning it and Louis XVI trying even harder - though it sadly became less fatal with 10,000 duels resulting in only 400 deaths between 1685 and 1716. Predictably, the class aspect of it tied the practice to vendettas and local wars, as disputes could be de-escalated by judicial duel with mixed results depending on how important and selfish the duelists/slain were - with family continuing the beef if satisfaction or honour wasn't restored. On many occasions, an argument or rivalry between rich dickheads led to gauntlets being thrown. Sometimes the duel settled it. I'd say the worst outcomes were when neither party was satisfied and the landlord parasites would call upon the peasant classes to die in their stead. Basically oligarchs smashing action figures together until they were made to stop, except the action figures were poor people.

I'm not very knowledgeable about American dueling practices, though I know it was especially popular in the South as a 'gentleman's pursuit.' LMK if you do know anything about it or have any stories. I've seen that one Simpsons episode and read one very broad paper.

We've seen organised street fighting wax and wane, and I definitely recall videos of it on early YouTube with folks like Kimbo Slice. As best I can tell there was a lot of exploitation involved. I'm assuming the demographics of participant and viewer both moved to UFC - non-state violence being commodified by capitalists makes a lot of sense.

I was more an urban kid though I occasionally brushed up against suburban kids socially - close enough to observe a trend post Fight Club's release where white boys who didn't get the movie would start a titular club. I kinda wish I'd attended at least one for anthropological reasons, but (anecdotally) there was a class divide. The only kids/teens I knew doing it came from wealth, and not to be cliche but me and the other poors had more than enough violence in our lives to seek more out.

There's been a number of celebrity feuds that looked to become duels (like Zuckerberg and that other guy - when is that happening?) but they seem to be mostly fluff. In a time where state violence is industrial and monopolised perhaps it's unsurprising that the humble duel is still in the hands of the ruling class. I guess the question is 'would we even want it?' This started as me pondering the history of dueling from an admittedly Eurocentric perspective, but it doesn't surprise me to finish it by concluding that the only violence I'm looking to reclaim from the state and the rich is that which is used against them. No war but class war. In premodern times the proles weren't trained in violence so we'd be easier to oppress and less likely to kill our landlord. I think the least we can do is not use it on each other. Maybe that energy could be used building guillotines for Elon.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

You're soo sweet thank you so much!! I'll fix some errors and send the angst drabble. Still on the topic of scenes but everytime he says something in a angry tone?? Omfg like imagine you're teasing him and he just raises an eyebrow and says "What's that now?" in THAT tone? WEAK 😩

More Tang “my girl is mad at me I hope I die” erine headcanons

Ok ok but sharing a playlist with tan? Feel like he doesn't listen to music that much so you'll be the one adding most of the songs. At first he'll look like he doesn't really care for it, but when it's only him and lem on a mission, he will pop in one of his earphones and play it while thinking of you and smiling at the silly songs you added. (If you have any songs that remind you of him, please do share!)

This man has no shame doing small things for you. You two are out together and you need to use the toilet? He WILL hold you bag, puts it over his shoulder and all.

Love the 'you’d be best friends as well as a couple' idea. Feel like you'd also gossip about people and stuff (I mean, with a mouth like his, he'll adding so many unnecessary comments just to make you laugh).

I'm sure he keeps a photo of you in his wallet or in his suit. You're on his homescreen too? It'll be a photo he managed to take while you were laughing at a candlelit dinner he took you to.

I don't want to sound like a broken record but I'm so happy I get to write and share my headcanons about this silly brit man I love. Thank you!!  💗 💺 anon

1. ahhh you’re so sweet, thank you honey💓 and YES!!! love LOVE angry tan, or snarky or cold talking tan. what’s that now is just 😩🫠😩 good lord

2. heheheheaaahhh

3. omg shut up I love it!!!! and you know, ive never really thought of it, I kinda feel like oasis, possibly arctic monkeys kinda vibe, but not them. like kinda old (not really) english bands. but I do have a feeling he possibly dabbles in classical music from time to time, he’s got that rich man money vibe as well as the hard cockey lad vibe. the dude is multifaceted, so I think his music is the same. gonna say this now, I feel like he hates jazz

4. YES!! he’s not ashamed to hold your bag, like he would hold it normally, not like holding away from him making it clear it’s not his. hes like yeah it’s my girls bag what about it rather than, this is not my bag, im making it clear this is hers. especially if you go shopping, he’s holding the bags (and paying for it too hehe)

5. omg yes I love it!! I feel like he lets you talk and get things off your chest, but every now and then he’ll add something and back you up. I think I said this in my hc’s, but I like to believe he secretly loves watching ‘girly’ movies with you. he pretends he hates it, but if you put on clueless or she’s the man, he’s sitting down and watching it. or like “really, again?” you’re like “yeah, so? … you’re hovering, just sit down” and he doesn’t say anything, staring at the screen and silently taking a seat next to you HWHEHWH

6. ARGHHH OMG yes!! not to get all sad, but he has a picture of you in an accessible place (in case he yk dies, so it’s the last thing he sees🥲) feel like he has an album on his phone of you and dates and places you’ve been to

7. you’re so cute, and it’s really no problem. you have such great ideas and thank you for sharing them 💗

[queen-paladin]

My Books and other Media: April 2024 Wrap up!!!

Here is what I thought of these! As well as some video essays I LOVED because I eat those up!

The Time I Got Drunk and Saved A Demon by Lemming:

A hilarious romantasy adventure romp! Our Heroine, Cin, has to team up with a demon to go on an adventure when they find out that their goddess possesses demons to attack people and the only way to stop her is to destroy her sacred items. It's laugh-out-loud funny one minute and sweet, romantic, and very spicy the next. I would highly recommend it! 5/5

The Death of Jane Lawrence by Starling

In a Victorian AU world, Jane doesn't want to be stuck as a spinster figure of pity with her adopted family, so she agrees to be in a marriage of convenience with a surgeon named Augustine Lawrence. Things seem to be going great until on her wedding night, she is dropped off at the manor house he lives in...at the haunted manor house he lives in. Since Crimson Peak is one of my favorite movies and this book was inspired by it, I had to pick it up and I was not disappointed! Very much had the same vibes but is distinctly its own thing! I liked Jane and her practicality and I loved Augustine and how much of a pathetic meow meow and simping malewife he was for her. There is plenty of scary, gruesome imagery and I kept being so nervous, thinking "how is Jane gonna deal with this?" Plus there was a pretty darn good twist in the last third and I was genuinely surprised by the ending, without giving anything away The only thing is that sometimes the prose is so poetic that it becomes vague, especially one section right before the very end. But I loved it! 4/5

Bride

Okay, so in a nutshell, this is an arranged marriage story between the vampire Misery and the werewolf Lowe, since the vampires, werewolves, and humans have been in constant conflict. For what I liked, the book was really funny. I enjoyed Misery's sarcasm, snark, and badassery and the romance felt developed and real. This is infamous for the omegaverse elements in the smut, but it wasn't overwhelming for someone who hasn't read a lot and I heard it's TAME compared to fanfiction. I especially liked Misery's friend Serena and I ADORED her relationship with Lowe's kid sister, Ana, who is so adorable and funny. My only qualms are that the romance felt slow to start, there were a lot of bland, forgettable side characters to keep track of, and the climax felt rushed and unclear. 4/5.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Fawcett

My favorite book of the month! This tells of socially awkward, incredibly intelligent professor Emily Wilde in the early 1900's. She is a professor of Fairy studies and is off in a tiny Scandinavian village to study the fairies there. Who else should show up but her charming, rakish rival in academia, Wendell Bambleby. They realize how much the fairies have messed up the local villagers and plan to take action. Okay, I LOVE that the fairies and the fae feel so much like the fairy tales and folklore of yore. The author did her homework! These aren't the hot people with wings and six-packs of Sarah J Maas. They are inhuman, immensely powerful, and can bless you or curse you in a minute's notice if you take the wrong step. I adored Emily and she seemed very much coded as neurodivergent with her passion for fairies her fear of offending others by saying the wrong thing and her lack of reading into social cues. And WENDELL BAMBLEBY! My BambleBook Boyfriend. He is a mix of Prince Hal from The Henriad and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. He is slutty, constantly inviting his Bambleby Booty Calls, and lazy, having his students do all the work, but he begins to genuinely fall for Emily and is as charming and sweet beneath it all as he can be with a subtle element of "touch her, and you die!" It's dryly hilarious and the third act was incredible. The characters were well-developed and flawed, but still compelling, relatable, and likable. I adored this to death and would HIGHLY recommend it! 5/5

Twisted Love by Huang

In a nutshell, this is a brother's friend and grumpy/sunshine romance. What I love about Ana Huang is that she always knows how to pace and develop a romance between two characters AND her spice is top tier. There are a few funny moments, as well as genuinely sweet ones. However, there are all sorts of elements that veneer into the silly to where I don't take it 100 percent seriously. Like, how our main girl just HAPPENS to be friends with a princess of another country at some public university. And that our main guy is 27 yet a billionaire CEO of a whole company...and he just hangs out with college kids! Like?!?!?!!? I say a good 4/5 just because I always like her.

My Throat an Open Grave by Bovalino

What I expected:

What I got:

Ok, so this teenage girl, Leah, is miserable living in her tiny, religious, conservative town. One night, she is sick of babysitting her baby brother and offers him accidentally to the Lord of the Wood and wouldn't you know it! The Lord of the Wood takes him! So the town tells her she has got to go and get him back, though no girl who runs to the forest for that ever returns. So she gets there and...it's this nice, open minded, cottagecore normal ass village. Other than the premise at the beginning, this isn't Labyrinth but a wholesome Midsomar for kids. Though I do like the middle finger to conservative, small town purity culture, it kind of dragged and wasn't that scary and the stakes weren't high. I expected a scary, folk horror journey, but just got kind of "eh, here's a nice cult that doesn't judge you. You know kid, are you sick of your tiny, repressive town? Here's the answer: join a cult!" There is a really good twist, a scene that got kind of spicy and pushed it for a YA book, and I appreciate that the Jareth in this is around her age instead of some grown ass man offering himself to a minor (sorry, but I am in the minority of Labyrinth who thinks Sarah was right. She made the right choice at the end), it felt like it wasn't the heroes journey I expected and got kind of bland. 3/5

Bonus, My Favorite Video Essays:

The Dark Romance Community is Mad at Me: Okay, this girl, A Model Who Reads, posted a TikTok showing her surprise that the publishing company she works for was releasing a book marked as a Serial Killer Sexual Assault Romance, the dark romance community ATTACKED her in the comments. Here, she explains the problems with it why she isnt' sorry, and her issues with dark romance in full. Insightful, and incredible, and she finally addresses the issue concerning this angry, self-righteous, and unempathetic culture that has emerged recently concerning trigger warnings in media.

Mr. Burns: A Post Electric Video Essay My man, Kyle Kallgren, has done it again! Here, he breaks down Anne Washburn's play Mr Burns, a Post Electric Play, a play that portrays a post-apocalyptic story of a group of survivors recalling a Simpsons episode which then said episode transforms to a staged play to an epic sung through morality opera by the group at the end. He discusses post-apocalyptic media, the evolution of humor, and how humanity always triumphs over adversity. It's funny, deeply human, and chilling and incredibly well researched, in the Kyle KAllgren fashion. Highly recommend it, his channel and all his videos!

[perexcri]

day 5: full au

this is the day i’ve been looking forward to most for this event!! i’m so excited to share a few au recs :D

first of all: Tip-toeing on Lily-pads by my beloved @cherryisgone!! it’s a lovely little fantasy au where Will’s a prince, Mike’s a knight, and El likes to curse Mike by turning him into a frog. i bet you can guess the only way the curse can be broken, right? >:) anyway, this is so well-written, it’s 7k words of Will pining, and it’s got all the things i could ever hope for out of a fantasy au: two people being held back from each other because of politics and duties to one’s nation :’D i mean, yes, it was a birthday gift to me, so in a lot of ways, it was tailored to my tastes, but it’s got such a fun vibe and beautiful descriptions that i think it can be (and should be) enjoyed by all. so, yeah, take some time to spend with a princess and the frog-esque au written by one of my dear friends 💜🐸

then: A New Fight by @tea-for-one-please! i was out of town all last week, and even though i brought a couple of books with me to read, i spent all of my free reading time with this lovely trilogy. it’s a fantastically imagined star wars au, and while byler is a big focus of it, i truly enjoyed how the author integrated all of the party members into the story in such a natural way. i wouldn’t say i’m the most die-hard star wars fan - in fact, i probably could only barely describe the plot of any of the movies - but the franchise does hold a special place in my heart for personal reasons, so it was so enjoyable getting to read about some of my favorite characters from st being thrown into the rebellion!! seriously, if you have some time, definitely spend it with this series

Warm by @notebooknonbinary! this is just a quick little d&d au that’s so cute and sweet. as my beloved Vee says in the description, it’s nice to see that Mike has the self-preservation skills of a lemming in any universe lol. of course he put himself in harm’s way to save Will!! and now we get to see the aftermath of it with Vee’s lovely writing :]

Daydream by disaster_energy! another d&d au, but this time, Will gets chosen by the moon goddess, and Mike decides to pledge his allegiance to that paladin order. it’s really sweet, and the universe the author built was also super fun to see!! it kind of reminded me of the world-building in percy jackson, so if you liked those books, definitely check this one out!!

The Trees Are Growing Restless by @light-lanterne!! this is a super interesting groundhog day au with a specific focus on Mike’s unresolved trauma. i still need to read the latest chapter because i am nothing if not behind on reading, but i’ve been so excited for this one and can’t wait to see where it goes. Angel’s writing is amazing, and he’s got Mike’s character down so well :]

that’s all for now, i think!! i’ll be back tomorrow with more~ :]

[itsjohnnybad]

Quora is full of older Liberals from around the world that are ‘center left’. You can see them every day on my posts and they consistently note the issues with strong analysis and even annotation of all of the crazy things that Trump says he is going to do.

My answer is the same as Edward R Murrow would say if he was around if Trump is elected, GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK.

These people who are actually fighting to save democracy along with others of millions of Americans and Canadiens and Brits and Europeans and Australians and others around the world, tend to be older. Most in fact I have come to learn over time are retired or close to retirement.

One way or another they have found enough money to survive and will survive even if Trump becomes President.

So you are asking a group that will be at most, minimally affected. The ones who will be most affected are not following or reading Quora, they are not politically active. When they are, they tend to be younger who will really be hurt by Trump and they don't seem to care at all. They still attack Biden and say he should do so much more for them. Student loans have been forgiven to the tune of $180 billion and counting. Almost all for middle and low income and minorities all of whom say they are going to vote for Trump in large numbers. Trump by the way was totally against the loan forgiveness program, or free community college which disproportionately helps low income and minorities all of whom say they are going to vote for Trump who despises them.

Similarly Black men say they will vote for Trump in increasing numbers, some polls say 40% up from 8%. Once elected, they will be targeted by Trump, they will be hurt by Trumpflation when he cuts taxes for the rich and they will get nothing. They will be incarcerated much more as Trump targets ‘Democrat’ cities.

Similarly immigrants, particularly Hispanics are way up for Trump. Trump has not just called them rapists, but they have ‘poisoned the blood’ of America. He is going to round up 15 million immigrants, mostly Hispanics, put them in interment camps like a prison, a gulag and deport them or kill them in the process if they resist. For these promises, he is winning more than 50% in a lot of areas, in particular Florida and border communities like Texas and also Nevada.

LGBTQ are also saying they won’t vote for Biden, because he hasn’t done enough. Trump and the red states are already targeting trans and every other gender that is not CISGENDER. All of the “Queers for Palestine” will be targeted too. And speaking of Palestine, Trump hates the Gazans and will be supporting Netanyahu as he always has so all those Arabs and supporters of Palestine in Michigan and other states that will give them to Trump as they refuse to vote for Biden, they too will be targeted with anti Muslim policies.

And women? He has already taken away most of your rights including abortion, he has a 6 - 3 majority on the Supreme Court and all 3 of the older conservatives will retire to give a new younger supermajority. Plus at least one of the 3 liberals has serious health problems and she may die while Trump is there in the next 4 years, so he will get a 7 - 2 totally unassailable super majority for the next several decades thus completely taking away LGBTQ, women and minority rights.

As for me? I am ok, I know where I will go, what I will do to avoid the worst excesses of Trump.

I will give up fighting him and the Republican minority, majority. I will stop trying as those who really will be hurt don’t seem to give a damn. In fact, they are turning out in droves for Trump following him lemming like a pied piper off the cliff. Up to them, that is the world they want of less and less for them and their families, then we cannot stop them, so be it.

They will lose everything. I will simply lose the country I love but I will survive for the next few years god willing, as I am in my 70’s and there is not much he can do to me at this point.

Until November 5, I will keep trying my best for everyone else, for my children and their future. Just as most of my followers are. We are not selfless but we are also not selfish, unless you think that keeping democracy alive in the world is selfish.

We seem to believe that it is the best worst form of government and worth fighting for.

If Trump gets elected then we will have been proven we were wrong and will have no choice but to accept that all of those that Trump will target will have voted for him.

As Edward R Murrow signed off, Good Night and Good luck.

(Very informative answer. Please take heed.)

[keeper-of-all-the-random-things]

III. Public Relations

In which Alex makes a friend.

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Contents: discussion of death, partying

.....

“He’s really good at kissing ass when he wants to be.”  Alex lays sprawled on her dorm mattress, Thomas Mallory’s charity event playing on her laptop.

Cass blows a raspberry as she picks through her closet.  “Why don’t you like him?”

“We’ve spoken maybe five times since I met him at mom’s funeral.  I think he regrets taking me in.  I’m not a big enough charity to be worth his time.”

“Look on the bright side,” Cass says.  “You’re rich now.”  She shakes a skimpy red dress in front of her in question.

Alex shakes her head.  “He’s rich.  I’ll be rich if he dies.”

“When.”  Cass holds up another dress.

“When what?”

“When he dies.  You’ll be rich when he dies.  No one lives forever.”

“That’s rather morbid.”

“Sorry.  But it’s true.  Okay, time to stop moping.  We’ve got life to live.”  Cass tosses something at Alex.

Alex guesses it’s meant to be a dress, but she can’t figure out how the scrap of fabric is supposed to cover all the important bits.

Cass helps her into it and slaps her hand away as she tugs at the short hem.

“Why can’t I wear my dress?” Alex asks, not deterred from tugging.  “Mine fits me.”

“Because,” Cass says.  “You’ve been wearing the same one dress for eight years.  It still has the fake blood stains.  You’re rich now.  You could afford to buy a new one.”

“I’m not -”  Allex cuts off as Cass levels a Look at her.

“Just accept it.  You look great.”

“I’m going to freeze.”

“Beauty is pain.”

“Right.  I forgot.  At least I’ll die pretty.”

“Now you’re getting it.”  Cass grins.  “Let’s go make some friends.”

…

Alex can hear the party before she can see it.  Tuneless music pours into the street.

Cass disappears almost as soon as they arrive, leaving Alex to mingle with drunk strangers.  Her favorite activity.

Alex stands by a wall, holding an empty red cup to avoid unwanted attention.

“You’re supposed to make friends,” Cass says in passing before she disappears again in the crowd.

“Hey!  Baby billionaire!”  Some guy, Charles or Chad or something, pushes his way over.

Alex grimaces.

“Hey,” Charles-Chad says again when he’s closer.

Alex gives a curt nod and stares at his feet.  They stand awkwardly for a beat.  Charles-Chad is clearly waiting for Alex to say something.

When she doesn’t, he says, “Bet you’d have great parties, Baby Billionaire.”

Alex tilts her head.  Charles-Chad is distracted by someone in a dress somehow smaller than Alex’s.

Despite the cool air, Alex makes her way to the back porch.  It isn’t quiet, but the crushing noise from inside is dulled.  A couple makes out in a dark corner, and someone is passed out one of the deck chairs, but the porch is otherwise unoccupied.

Alex leans against the railing and fiddles with her cup.  She glances over as she is joined by deck chair guy.

“Did I wake you up?” she asks, though she knows she can’t compete with the noise from inside.

He smiles and ducks his head.  “Not many people make it out here,” he says to the yard.  “I’m here to give you your next quest.”

“Oh noble messenger,” Alex plays along, “I’m not sure I’m yet ready for a quest.”

“Never fear.  I have procured items to prepare you.”  He shrugs off a bright flannel shirt and holds it out to Alex.

“I can’t take your shirt!”

“Yes, you can.  You’re turning blue, and I’ve got three more layers to spare.”

Alex nods reluctantly but is grateful for the warmth.

“I’m Roger, by the way.  Roger Lemmings.  Certified quest bringer.  I live here, if you want to return the shirt.  Once you’re properly attired for your adventures, that is.”

“Roger Lemmings.”  Alex stuck her hand out from the too long sleeve.  “Alex Mallory.  Certified bringer of … of something cool.  Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

…

Alex can’t stop smiling.  Walking back to the dorm, trudging up three flights of stairs, getting ready for bed.  Her face is sore from smiling.

She hadn’t expected to have so much fun at the party.  But Roger Lemmings.  He was a surprise.

Alex falls asleep thinking about next time.

Cass gets back early the next morning, looking tired but content.  Her eyes light up when she sees Alex.

“What is that?” she points to the flannel hanging over the back of Alex’s desk chair and gives a little shimmy. 

“That’s a shirt,” Alex teases.  “I’m sure you’ve encountered them before.”

“This one’s new.”  Cass grins, all traces of tiredness gone.  “You didn’t have it last night.  Tell me everything.”

Alex grins back.  “I did what you said.  I made a friend.”

[drbased]

Conservatism and optimism

It's commonly said that right wing thought is pessimistic; it's based on a belief that there are certain immutable types of human, and that some of those types of human are simply not very good at living, and in a Darwinian-esque fight for survival, the 'not as good' people should simply be left to die out on their own, shunned by the society of good, hardworking and competent people who deserve real success. It's staunchly individualistic and anti-community.

But it would be a lie to think of conservatism as purely pessimistic about human behaviour. For example, one of its tenets is the 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' mentality, another is the concept of the 'marketplace of ideas'. Within these overlapping ideas is the concept that left alone, people will squabble, and they will fight, but ultimately when faced with challenges, people will rise up and come to the right conclusions about what needs to be done, and act on that accordingly.

The idea that if we just let freedom of speech roam uninterrupted and unmanaged then people will end up gravitating towards the objectively best solution becomes patently absurd when you think about it for long enough. There are so many examples of this system utterly failing; 4chan was considered to be the ultimate bastion of free speech; an experiment, if you will, into what happens when there are zero social consequences for saying what you really, truly think. And what happened? It became the most disgusting cesspool of bigotry and psychopathy known to humankind. Turns out, that when you let anyone say anything, the people with the worst ideas, the cheapest ideas, the ideas that appeal to the basest, more bigoted impulses that only serve the existing oppressor classes get a real audience, and as such the more reasonable kinder person you leave, and a sort of spiralling sifting effect happens where the more reasonable people leave, the more nazis stay, the more nazis are attracted, the more reasonable people leave and so on.

The 4chan example is not perfect, because 4chan is not a perfect mirror of the real world. But then, in the real world itself, where people have to stake their reputation on their ideas, things aren't much better. We even know on a day-to-day personal level just how unfair the social system is. The biggest, loudest, confident people will always get their way through sheer charisma alone. That's why we have to have democracy, that's why we have commitees, that's why parliaments were set up so the king didn't have a monopoly on power. We all know that in practice, letting the 'market place of ideas' play out is a categorically terrible thing for society.

But it doesn't sound very nice, does it? It sounds kinda... pessimistic. It's also insulting; people really, really want to believe that we're ultimately in charge of our own destinies, that we respond rationally to the information we're given and that we, ultimately, when left uninterrupted to engage with pure logic, will make good decisions. Imagine being told that no, actually; no matter how good you think you are at making decisions, you shouldn't be allowed to have any power, and instead you need to be surrounded by red tape, prevented from making any movement by a chatter of other, contradictory voices that hold just as much power over the masses as you do.

Make no mistake, here; conservatives do not apply this logic equally; to the right wing, those other people in the committee will always have worse ideas because they're just built that way, and the person with the biggest and best ideas should have got to the top by pure strength of will and commitment alone. They were built the right way, they're the genius, they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, and now they've earned that power. No committee of npcs/lemmings is needed, because the person in power has all the best ideas, and they can take the risks needed to push society in the right direction.

Within this conceptualisation there's an optimism: that person could be you. If you really put the work in, you could turn out to be the secret genius who through sheer hard work and determination has earned power and a place in history. To the conservative, saying that no, actually the people in power did not get there fairly, that things are unfairly stacked against you and it's very unlikely that you're a secret genius - and that even if you were, there's a limited chance that you'll ever get to demonstrate your full potential... well, that's pretty damn miserable. There's a phrase that describes a lot of people: 'temporarily embarrassed millionaires' and it applied here. Under conservatism, the system is running as it should, which means if you're good enough, people will recognise that goodness because people are fundamentally good, and the system will recognise that goodness because the system is funamentally good, and you will rise to the top in the most natural way possible, because people and the system are not just good, but naturally good.

And, of course, if you never rise to the top, you can be safe in the knowledge that that isn't because of some great injustice against you, where you were robbed of your true potential by an unfair system; rather, you've lived an honest, noble life of a worker. You have played your part in the machine, you are valuable as you are, as the type of person that you are. This is how conservatism appeals to the most downtrodden by the system. It doesn't say 'you're disgusting and you should stay there', rather it says 'you are a type of person, and that's not a bad thing - it's a very good thing, actually'.

[riddikulus-writings]

Distracted

Chapter 15

Still tryin' our damndest to keep Rick's ass alive

“Why are you here?”

“Why are any of us here?”

“Quit gettin’ needlessly philosophical on me, Cadell,” Rick chided, pointing a chopstick at her from across the table, “One day you just… show up and wriggle your ass into my life– it was a legitimate question.”

She noisily slurped up a noodle before answering, “Uh, well. After… y’know, the Accident,” – her husband dying, Rick mentally noted – “I just… I couldn’t do it. The house, the farm. The dogs. The fuckin’ fish, even. Everything just sucked ass. Enlisted the youngest sister in law to move in and watch the place and I just fuckin’ booked it. Ended up on the task forces searching out for meta-humans until Waller plucked me out and took me to Belle Reve for her, instead. I guess I’m grateful, but fuck,” she ran a hand down her face, “If it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t be here, anymore.”

Rick didn’t want to ask if he meant here in New Orleans or here, alive.

“Well, what was it you’d said that one night? I’ll follow you for life,” he repeated it back to her, “Always be around, wherever life takes you?”

“No, no,” Nyx waved a finger at him, “You’re the leader, here. I don’t lead, I’m a shit leader. My attention span? Whoever I’m leading would get led off a cliff. Like a lemming.”

“Aren’t you the one that told me lemmings only follow each other off cliffs if they’re being chased?”

She pointed a finger-gun at his nose, “Exactly. Only way I’m leading is if we’re being chased. One of us had a good head on their shoulders, and it ain’t me.”

“Gotta give yourself more credit, Eris,” Rick chided, leaning forward on his elbows, “You’re pretty sharp.”

“Sharp like a butter knife,” she chuckled, “Thanks, Flag, though. That means a lot, coming from you. Now, what do you say we get outta here, go get a couple drinks.”

“We have to ship out at three a.m. We need to go to sleep.”

She scoffed and waved him off, taking her other hand to grab his and tug him outside, “Who said anything about sleeping? C’mon, pull an all-nighter with me. Pull an all-nighter with me and I’ll pay for all your drinks next time, deal?”

“You’re nuts,” he wasn’t objecting, though.

“This is how I actually am, the actual me,” she beamed back at him, “It’s how you know I’m comfortable with you.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“Fuck no,” he wheezed out, allowing himself to be lowered to the ground.

“It was rhetorical,” Nyx rolled her back-to-indigo-eyes, crouching in front of him. Her knees knocked his as she moved to straddle his hips. The ground shook, people were screaming in the distance. The remnants of the Task Force were fighting a… hundred-fifty-foot-tall alien starfish… across town.

Said starfish was leveling every building he met.

“I don’t think…” Nyx’s face was centimeters from Rick’s chest, “it’s too deep…?” she was trying to convince herself more than him, “I’m obviously no medical expert, but I do know that you shouldn’t have ripped it unceremoniously from your chest. I am… fuck, left my jacket at Jotunheim. Um– ope, got it,” she flicked out a pocket knife like she likes to do and started cutting at her pant leg.

Rick chuckled dryly through his mouthful of blood, “This brings back memories.”

Now with one leg bare all the way up to the hip joint, she stretched the ripped fabric between her arms, “We need to find different methods of bonding.”

He went dead-weight for her while she wrapped his chest up, whining when she cinched the mediocre bandage across his chest, “We go drinking. Watch movies. Call each other lame. Almost die with each other.”

She leaned in with her nose brushing his, “Survive the day, got it? I’ll never make you watch one of my lame movies again. Deal? Now, if I leave you in this abandoned, dirty alleyway to go fight an alien with some criminals, are you gonna be alive when I get back?”

“Even gonna remember where I am?” he avoided answering because he couldn’t answer that.

“Fuck you, Flag,” Nyx snorted weakly, “I always know where you are. My memory isn’t that bad.”

“Yet.” he grit out, knocking his head back on the wall with a grimace. Fuck his body ached. His chest felt hollow.

“Hey,” she whispered softly. Rick hummed to let her know she had his attention, but didn’t open his eyes– couldn’t open his eyes. His eyelids were heavy. She continued, “Never a lip curved with pain that can’t be kissed into smiles again.”

“Bret Harte–” his response was cut off when Nyx pressed her lips to his. She tasted like blood and soot [so did he] but she also tasted like every unspoken word, every missed chance and every what-if they’ve shared in the last two years. Nyx’s hand slid up to grab at the nape of Rick’s neck, pulling him closer. She denied him when he tried to deepen the kiss–

And then she was gone.

[cj-writes-stuff]

Reading Wrap-Up | April 2024

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human by Kimberly Lemming Garlic and the Vampire by Bree Paulsen Garlic and the Witch by Bree Paulsen Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins Nimona by N. D. Stevenson

[mini reviews/ratings below the cut]

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human by Kimberly Lemming ⭐Rating: 3.5/5

After reading the previous two in the Mead Mishaps series, I was so excited to get my hands on this book. It follows Cherry, Cinnamon's sister who for two books we've thought to be dead, and Dante, another character who we've gotten to know. Turns out Cherry didn't die, she was kidnapped by a dragon and forced to live in a tower.

This series for me is like splurging at a diner; sure, I could spend the time putting thought into my meal, enjoy the prep time, savor the journey, and come out of it a changed person... or I could go out and relax with a drink and eat similar food but without any stress, I'm just here to have fun and laugh.

Not to say that there aren't complexities to these books as the worldbuilding is thoughtful and interesting the more we learn, and they do poke a lot of fun at certain tropes used in other books of its kind. The characters are fun and likable, there's a lot of sex that I could give or take but it's not terrible, and for the most part, I enjoyed Cherry and Dante's romance for what it was. I know what I'm signing up for when I pick up one of these, so even though the whole mates situation isn't really my thing, I've learned to go with the flow and have fun with it.

I did feel this book was a major improvement over the second book, which I was disappointed by. Also, upon reflection, I think I appreciate the first book a lot more now that I've read all three.

I'm honestly sad there isn't a fourth book out yet, but I'm keeping an eye out.

Garlic and the Vampire / Garlic and the Witch by Bree Paulsen ⭐Rating: 5/5

I'm putting these two together since I don't have too much to say. These are the sweetest, most wholesome graphic novels I've ever read, I adore them. I've had a major reading slump this month and I thought if I could just pick something quick and easy up, it'd make it easier to transition into something else. Hence these books.

The art is beautiful. I love Garlic, she's a little ball of anxiety and honestly, same. Her and Carrot's relationship is so sweet. Witch Agnes and Count are great. These stories are about little Garlic being brave and going on cute [and kinda scary] adventures and they made my night.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett ⭐Rating: 2/5

This one is... difficult. I liked it? I think? But also, it was a massive disappointment. It's frustrating because it didn't have to be. All the pieces were there for a fantastic story! Hell, at points, this book had me... but then it would quickly lose me.

This is the story of Emily Wilde who goes to a small town to study their faery folk but she struggles with the townspeople given she's not really a people person... but then her academic rival/friend Wendell Bambleby shows up to assist her.

The problem with this book is it's written in journal entries... journal entries that apparently recount everything, including long conversations and events with quite creative prose, that happened in journal form... as in it's a lot of telling, a lot of feelings being separated from the story that when the romance suddenly happened, I was like, "...Really? Like, actually? You two were better off as friends because this came out of nowhere??"

The journal structure is this books biggest downfall and I hate it because there's a good story in here. Why is it written like this??

I liked Emily a lot as a protagonist, but because she's journaling all of this research and tends to leave out a lot, I feel like there are crucial chunks missing. Poe was probably my favorite character, though. Bambleby was.... ugh, he could've been interesting but I'm starting to see a pattern in every fae romance I read: the fae love interests are all man babies. It's getting old real quick.

I have zero interest in picking up the rest of this series, which is unfortunate. I had high hopes for this. When it was good, it was really damn good... but that's not enough to make up for the bad.

A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins ⭐Rating: 2/5

Right. So, confession time: I haven't read The Hunger Games Trilogy. I didn't pick it up when it was popular, I didn't have a YA dystopian phase, and I never felt any reason to pick up until now. When the first movie came out, I saw it and thought it was good. Never watched the other ones.

Until this month. My buddy Pi and I marathoned all four Hunger Games movies, and then the prequel movie. I enjoyed the movies, they were fun to discuss, so I thought y'know what? Why not? Why not give them a read now? And since I'm in a unique position with all the books out and on my shelves, what if I start with the prequel book about President Snow before jumping into the main trilogy?

So that's exactly what I did.

I severely underestimated how insufferable Snow would be for 500 pages.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this book. There was a lot I liked, a shit ton I didn't like, and a lot that draaaaaaagged on and on and on. I would say that the first two parts of this book are pretty solid. Part three is when it falls apart until the very end when it picks back up again.

Snow is annoying and his name is stupid. Yes, I suppose I have more insight that should make moving forward with the series interesting... but consider: I hate him and I hope there's an all-you-can-eat buffet of cabbage in hell for him. Of all the characters we could've had a prequel book about, we just had to go with him?

Lucy Gray I'm mixed on; she started singing at her reaping and I was like "ah, pixie dream girl, are we gonna do something interesting with that? perhaps subvert it?" and to my pleasant surprise, yeah we did play with it in an interesting way. There were moments where she made me roll my eyes, but I liked her well enough... except I didn't like her romance with Snow from the beginning, which was a given.

I spent the entire book hoping that Dr. Gaul would get eaten by one of her creations but alas, no such luck.

Sejanus Plinth deserved the world and then some. This dude, my guy... he was so ready to throw hands with Dr. Gaul at any moment and I love and respect and cherish him for that. Even now just thinking about it, I'm so pissed off and heartbroken about everything that happened to him.

Again, there were things I liked about this book, but I think I need more time to actually process it. This really isn't the place for me to write an essay on the bullshit that was Snow and Sejanus's relationship or the ghost of Lucy Gray or how Katniss was a swamp potato the entire time.

Nimona by N. D. Stevenson ⭐Rating: 4/5

I needed something fun to wash the bad taste of Snow outta my mouth, went to peruse my shelves, and found this. This one is a reread. I first read it back in 2016? I believe? Around that time, and I enjoyed it then just as much as I've enjoyed it now. I haven't watched the movie yet but now I probably will.

The art style is cute, the characters are fun, and it made me feel better. Not much else to say, really. It did what I wanted it to do, but I don't think I was as charmed by it as I was the Garlic graphic novels, y'know?

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Thank you sm!!?! Got me kicking my feet and giggling. Sorry for spamming, I hope y'all aren't getting sick of me. 😭

Since we've touched upon what his real name would be, he audibly gulps when you call him by his name in a serious tone. "Not the government name." Lem would.

Listen this man OWNS the 'it's ok to murder people but it's not ok to disrespect your wife' energy. He's this snarky and mean man who has little to no patience but would rather die than be the reason his girl is upset. He becomes so soft for her. Feel like he'll steal glances of you when you don't notice, like you're reading a book, he loves how you're so invested in the story.

ALSO, what if he's girl is shorter than him? (man's literally 1.8m, my 1.64m ass is crying) He'll tease you so much I just know it!! But he loves it, the way you have to go on your tippytoes to kiss him (or tug on his tie making him bend down?? and he grabs your waist?? LORD)

WAKING YOU WITH MORNING KISSES?? He would!! (I would know we're married in another reality)

Soft dad!tan, feel like you'd have a daughter. Spoils her rotten, no questions asked. "Clever little girl, just like your mother." WANT 😩😩

I don't want this to sound pushy, but about the tan coming home and finds reader in the bath (I believe you said the person is no longer active) if you don't mind, I'll like to request it when your requests are open again. (if not that's ok!) It also got me thinking, this man would be so gentle with you, he's always careful not to hurt you. He'll also crack jokes to hear you laugh. 🫠🫠

Sigh I wanna go back to when I first watched this movie on the big screen. First scene he appeared I was actually speechless. And when he took his coat off?? (Yeah I watch it for the plot, the plot: tan) Think I've watched this movie like 16 times. Or was it 17? 💺 anon

1. ahhh you’re welcome!! and it’s no problem :)

2. yes!!! like he knows he’s in trouble, and he’ll have the expression of a sulky sassy kid

3. YES YES YES😩 love that shit. it’s okay to murder a bunch of guys but NEVER okay to lay a finger on a woman. said it before and I’ll say it again and again, but love cold mean men that have a soft spot for their girl. he loves watching you just be you too

4. 🫠🫠 melting

5. feel like he’s a GIANT softie especially in mornings

6. he’s definitely a girl dad!! he def loves how much she’s a mini you and mini him, like the perfect combo of both

7. ofc!! absolutely

8. ugh me too! I was watching trailers loads to get my fix😭😭😭 literally counted down the days until could see him on opening night lmao. and yes!! when he and lemon sit next to the son and he’s flattening his coat 😩

AHAHRGHH the pun🤭