#and said i should probably walk
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My mum came over last weekend and dragged me shopping to buy some rugs and a ceiling lamp for my kitchen, so now i'm no longer solely reliant on the tube light in the corner under the top cabinets
However i got so used to not having a ceiling lamp that now i keep forgetting to use it, i go straight to the inconvenient lamp rather than using the one i can turn on and off from the doorway rather than having to go all the way in the kitchen and reach over the microwave
#also after the day of cycling to a big mall it seems i was a little dehydrated#because we went out for a few drinks and oh boy#i mean i was also up several hours past my bedtime#but nevertheless two drinks should not have had me that unsteady on my feet#we cycled there (mum with a rental bike me with my own) and going home i offered hers mine in case her knee was acting up#and said i should probably walk#she just had time to say 'oh you're fine' before i nearly tripped over my own feet#also the bartender was very cool and gnc or trans and so my mum had to deadname me in front of them :(
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percy and annabeth: *fully clothed, innocently cuddling, both sound asleep*
frank:
#i hope he actually walks in on them one day#can we make that an HC?#i said what i said#i should probably take it back#but i don’t#hehe#percy jackson#percabeth#pjo#heroes of olympus#annabeth chase#frank zhang#mark of athena#friends#mondler#phoebe buffay
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i occasionally say that bat’s colours are an off shade from other characters’ colours and this is what i mean by that lol
#this is vee speaking#the colour for bat might be a little off lol i used an old post i made about the characters colours to do this#but i probably should have picked from hypdream tbh lol#BUT SEE WHAT I MEAN LMAO#and like you can do this for all the characters tbh gentaro’s purple is a brighter purple than jakurai’s lavender#saburo rei and hifumi are yellows rio is the only orange i believe etc etc#and you could probably group them by the division colours that we have#it’s neat as shit idk how much thought went into choosing the colours for everyone lol#not in the sense that i think it’s arbitrary but idk how pointed it’s supposed to be lol#like jakurai and gentaro are parallels that’s why their bright/pastel versions of that purple and the same can be said for doppo dice#i don’t shut up about ichiro and kuukou walking the same path lol there’s probably something to jyushi and ramuda being pinks#how far does it go is the question lol 🤔#like tbh i think there’s a decent argument that bat’s colours have a little bit of purple in them#maybe implying similar goals to these divisions but with a bat twist (which again makes me wonder about jyushi and chuuoku lmao)
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Fluent Freshman - Part 43
PREV
FF is a pretty good student. Solid Bs in his Gen-eds and As in regard to his major. With one C+ that he’s still working on with Captain Neil but it’s higher than the D+ that he had been pulling before Captain Neil had started to tutor him and he really just needs to pass the one gen-ed required math class.
There was many a deep breathing exercise before he made an appointment with his educational advisor for the next semester back in October but it hadn’t been that bad even though she was the one that had asked if he knew anyone good at math since it obviously was not a strong suit of his. So he dragged his grade up from a D+ to a C+ and he was pretty proud of that.
FF has a preferred spot in each and every one of his classrooms. In his Gen-Ed courses he sits in spots that the Professors don’t even notice and where there is almost always a gap between him and the next person. He arrives perfectly almost late every single day for every single class he can to achieve this feat.
For his Major classes he sits near the front with the few Foreign Language major friends that he has.
FF likes to be prepared. Studying was a nice way to prepare for the future. If he’s already read the entire textbook front to back and taken notes then a pop quiz can’t catch him off guard. He double, triple, and quadruple checks homework. He could probably recite the syllabus for any of his classes off the top of his head. He has read it so much to make sure he’s gotten everything and is on track.
FF kind of likes finals week.
For once, for one week, everyone is as anxious as him.
He sits next to Nicky patting his back as his friend sobs into a pillow. “I’m not going to graduate and it’s going to delay seeing Erik by an entire year!” Nicky yells as he brings his face out of the pillow.
“Nicky, you only got one flashcard wrong how about you shut the fuck up!” Aaron yells from his desk where he seems to have spontaneously developed ambidextrousness as he writes notes with both hands. “Fuck I am NEVER fitting all of this one one index card.” Aaron slams his face into the table.
“I don’t even need this degree.” Matt says looking down at a textbook that he has not turned a page on for the last hour. The fact that Matt had also not even opened that textbook before now was a bit of a cause for concern. “I’ve already got offers for professional teams. I can just play Exy. I do not need to pass a workplace psychology course.” Matt says.
“You think Dan wants an idiot?!” Nicky demands not wanting to go down alone.
“She thinks it’s cute that I’m stupid!” Matt exclaims.
“No she doesn’t!” Aaron points at him, “She said and I quote ‘I love it when you use that big ol sexy brain of yours.’ the last time you had her on speaker phone!” he uses a slightly more…effeminate voice when he impersonates Dan but FF had spoken with Dan and to his memory she did not sound like that.
“Fuck you’re right she deserves an all rounder!” Matt cries, head in his hands.
“Why do I even have to TAKE this Gen-Ed about history?” Nicky demands now holding onto FF as if he were a teddy bear.
“So that we’re well-rounded individuals with a wider perspective on-”
“Smithy, my sweet child, I was not looking for an answer.” he feels Nicky’s hand come up to his hair and maybe he’s being treated more like a favored pet?
“You’re having trouble with a Gen-Ed?!” Aaron asks turning around in his seat, “That’s embarrassing.” he turns his nose up.
“I’m having trouble with something that is going to be useless in my adult life.” Nicky says as if he were not currently an adult. “You are having issues with a class that will have huge ramifications on your future if you don’t manage to learn it!” Nicky points out.
“Eat my shorts Nicky.” Aaron hisses.
“Maybe I could study if you would wash your shorts Aaron. I can smell your laundry pile from over here!” Matt spits.
The fight devolved from there and FF slipped out of the dorm as Nicky was holding a chair over his head to seemingly throw at Matt for his ‘unreasonable number of sticky notes messing up the flow of Nicky’s studying’.
He heard a crash.
“It’s probably fine.” he says to himself and he has his index cards with the speech he has to give for and he really should go over to talk with Captain Neil.
He walks to Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door and- “There faster-!”
FF walks away from Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door, remembering only in this moment that Kevin had declared that he would be “Living in the library until this paper is done or I am.” to the team at the last practice of the year.
Captain Neil and Andrew were never the type to waste an empty dorm room.
He misses Pepto Bismol as he hears a particularly dirty line of Russian coming from his Captain’s dorm room.
***
Eventually Finals week is done and dusted with only 4-5 more blow-ups in his dorm room that result in Nicky, Aaron, and Matt stopping their fight to see if they accidentally had knocked him out with all of the thrown debris (only happened once when Aaron threw a textbook that Nicky ducked but he didn’t.)
FF came out of his final…final feeling pretty good all around. He had managed to get some extra tutoring time with Captain Neil after Kevin managed to finish his history paper a little early. Despite all of their fears and complaints Aaron, Nicky, and Matt all did manage to pass all of their finals and their classes.
The Tower was closing tomorrow for the rest of the year and despite checking almost every day with Nicky he still was invited to go to New York City with most of the team to stay at Allison’s house.
“Smithy, did you pack a swimsuit?” Nicky asks.
“Nicky, we’re going to New York for Christmas break. Do you think we’re going to swim?” Aaron asks incredulously.
“Two words, my fetus of a cousin: Hot. Tub.” Nicky holds his hand up and putting one finger up and then another. “Is hot tub two words?” Matt asks as he reaches for his own swim trunks.
“Yes Matt hot tub is two words.” FF says nodding.
“Thank you Smithster.” Matt says.
“I can’t believe you don’t know that hot tub is two words.” Aaron says with a huff.
“I can’t believe that you don’t know how to not be an asshole even after you started getting regular sex with Katelyn.” Matt returns, “Look at how not a thing that was when Smithster answered it.” he gestures to FF.
“You cannot compare Smithy to Aaron. Apples and Tomatoes.” Nicky dismisses.
“Whatever, so Allison got a hot tub at her place?” Aaron moves past the conversation.
“Aaron you just made fun of Matt for asking stupid questions.” Nicky says with a hand on his cheek.
“I fucking hate being part of your family.” Aaron says without any real heat.
“Yeah sure.” Nicky says, rolling his eyes and smiling as he saw Aaron packing swim trunks that FF knew he had bought for his cousin.
“Okay, I’ve got the packing list that Allison sent. Do we wanna run through it so that we’re all properly packed?” Matt says holding up his phone.
“Yeah, let’s run through it.” Nicky says with a sigh.
They went through Allison’s provided list twice and then zipped up their suitcases. Smith was going to be driving to the airport with Matt. Neil and Andrew were going to be driving the Maserati up alone while the rest of them were going to be flying up to New York City.
Now onto something that filled FF with far more dread than simply passing tests that determined whether or not he continued to get a free ride in college.
Meeting new people.
NEXT >>
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
#Fluent Freshman AU#Just as a note I'm probably going to be taking November off#I should be getting the keys to the Condo on Halloween#and there's just so much to do with it#So I'll be doing a smaller WW#and taking the month off for FF#But I'll come back with some fun I've been planning for ages#Specifically Smith getting to meet Renee and Allison for the first time#And really getting to know Dan#There may be a few special guests but I haven't decided yet#Andrew and Neil absolutely take an extra day to get up to New York for 'absolutely no reason'#but the reason was that they pulled off to a quiet pit stop and made out for so long that it was just irresponsible for them#to not go to a motel#As for where we left off with the Winter Banquet#It was just Smith waiting around until the bus came back#He just ignored that old dude looking for him#and walked to the bus without breaking stride#Who knows who said that Smith was there#I do#FF - 42#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#Andreil#Nicky Hemmick#Kevin Day#Aaron Minyard#Matt Boyd
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.
I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.
it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.
(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)
I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.
the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.
obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.
#this was supposed to be a small post but . yk how it is#wrote this instead of working on my stupid art projects i am about to walk into the woods and never return i hate college#anyway. enjoy my rambling there's a point in there somewhere probably#nothing against the dev who said that btw i thought it was interesting for them to say since it is true#its hard to not think about the potential audience when creating something but we have to try to ignore them#i think i wanted to say more but whatever this generally covers my thoughts#and i know everything is subjective maybe people Do want their romanceable characters to be attractive and unproblematic#good for you. there's genres for that. but in a dark fantasy setting? some things just don't work like that. genres exist for a reason#i want my companions to be messy mfs not pretty perfect angels#also☝️dont be stupid i don't condone writers having personal agendas and writing hateful things#thats a completely different thing and obviously not what i meant#a writer should always be a neutral observer of their work. nothing else.#bioware critical#six speaks#oh also again... nothing wrong with um 'normal' and kind characters. but when everyone is like that it gets boring. variety ok
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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.
#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now#it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works#and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise#like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind#if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints#in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on#so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is#not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do#oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted#and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy#because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh#listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase#like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason#you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too#but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for#and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work#I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness#okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3
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You know logically I know the Yakuza Kiwami pier scene was just a really awkward retcon rgg shoved into the story to accommodate for the majima everywhere system and the literal One (1) model change that Majima had in the entire original game, but after playing later games and seeing how their relationship plays out . Hm. Something something foreshadowing
#yakuza#kazumaji#uhhhhh whoops spoilers for y3 and 5 in tags just. augh#okay okay dont get me wrong here though#would kiryu just not give a fuck if majima got critically injured or died? Fuck No *gestures at kiryu's reaction to Majima's y5 “death”*#does kiryu recognize majima's insane amounts of strength and capability? yes#does that cause him to feel way too comfortable leaving majima behind with heavy burdens (ie taking care of daigo/the tojo)? yes#no if majima got shot in front of him kiryu would not walk away in a typical not-messy-retcon story scenario#but i think in hindsight its a bit funny that majima is bending over backwards and putting himself at risk to help kiryu#and kiryu just. Trusts he'll be fine and leaves. because that's Kind Of just what happens in like y3#also sidenote but im slowly getting saltier about the lack of kazumaji reunion in y5#im sad we didn't get to see kiryu see proof that majima was alive with his own two eyes#and im sad that majima let himself get the shit beat outta him because “[haruka] means more to kiryu-chan than life itself ”#and kiryu probably doesnt even Know he did that#listen ive said that the kiryu-majima-death-announcement-reaction was enough to scratch my brain for y5#but uh i lied. please. Please rgg have some mercy on me let them have another crushingly meaningful scene together im begging#sorry i should get addicted to shutting the fuck up#just. augh. they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
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forced to witness the hungarian nouveau riche. these people suck ass
#the people i usually see are either normal or soulless levels of rich and evil so this middle ground is so weird#i didnt think these ppl existed outside the movies these like perfectly#polished clean beautiful people who look like they walked straight out of an instagram post#it's extremely unsettling#isn't it crazy that when you have money you just get shit handed to you for free#literally the people who need it the least and yet#all that being said. this lowkey goes i should hang out with my parents more#trade offer: horrific mental illness coz i have to spend time with my parents BUT! i get to go somewhere really fancy#still debating if its worth it but there's like‚ copious amounts of really fancy alcohol for free so yknow. probably#barking#cdmxlb
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skating... makes u very sweaty very quickly
#especially if ur trying and failing to land tricks LMAO#i just had to keep scaling back expectations like ok. lets not start with an ollie (im still practicing tho#and im getting CLOSE. i can FEEL IT.)#lets try walking the dog (<- was described in one vid as a 'beginner trick before ollie')#(it is not. in my opinion. a beginner trick.)#one video on walking the dog says u should practice tic tacs and monster walks#i can do tic tacs but am unable to practice them ill have to go to a park x_x#monster walk..... im getting there#in my defense i was trying them without looking up how to do them i just saw a short clip and was like ok ill give it a go#having the same problem with the dog walking: i cant do the full 180...#anyways. stepping back on the longboard felt like a dream LMAO#note: i am probably never going to touch the ramps. holy shit.#<- this all started because i was sick of walking and didnt want to bike (too easy to steal) so i said id longboard to commute#well. very little longboard practice after i accidentally went a little too fast down a hill and freaked out#but hey. in theory practicing skateboard should help with longboard
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I finally completed the Anju and Kafei quest 😭
#spoilers in tags no peeking if you don't want spoilers#rambles from the floor#majora's mask#peggy plays majora's mask#Peggy plays#anyways hhhwwwwwaaauugghghgh#took me forever to remember how to do the parts I'd already done I remembered only pieces#but i finally got to the last bit#I didn't know where Kafei was#I'd looked all over#but I found Anju#and she said she was going to wait for him#so I sat next to her and waited#because I didn't want her to be alone while the world was ending#and right as I was wondering if I should go look for Kafei again and running through what to try in the next cycle THE DOOR CLICKS#AND KAFEI WALKS IN#AND THEY HUG AND THEY DO THE THING AND THE MASK😭#and I hold off on crying because my siblings were watching but it was a very near thing#and I probably shouldn't be playing this game while I'm already sad/not doing great but#oh well#sniffle.#and anyway there's something weirdly comforting about mm#like it's dark and painful and terrifying#but it's cathartic#and I like that#idk
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS
#tragically had to skip the 'are you afraid of me' exchange i love at the start bc. this scene is Long#super dark times#josh templeton#zach taylor#sam edits#btw i'm firmly in the 'Josh didn't kill John' camp. bc to me THIS scene is the point that... makes the most sense as Josh's breaking point/#'villain turn' if that's what you'd want to call it. because this is really when Josh... sort of 'officially' loses Zach. from early on in#the movie it becomes clear how much Zach is like... an anchor for him—the way Josh is just fucking *chanting* his name in distress during#the Daryl accident. The way Josh begs Zach to believe him that it was an accident. The way Josh turns to Zach for answers/clarity/direction#Like even if we want to take a cynical approach and think of it as Josh just latching onto Zach in the Daryl situation because he was There#rather than that being an established thing w/ them... in the aftermath of that same incident Josh is still looking to/depending on him!#Josh self isolates at first... but after they talk & Zach tells him they shouldn't act weird Josh goes back to school. (yes#he lashes out there because He's Dealing With The Crushing Guilt but *all* of 'em are acting off then—Charlie specifically calls attention#to the idea they all probably are) Josh goes to the party just like Zach said they should and is *visibly confused* when Zach seems mad to#see him there. He goes to Zach's house to talk and you can SEE how caught off guard he is by what Zach says. Even though the script version#of this scene is VERY different from the final version I do think this one bit of description from it is... insightful: 'Josh seems sincere#almost vulnerable. But Zach is too focused to see it.' LIKE in this scene Zach is already convinced Josh has lost it! He's trying to act#more neutral about it (claiming they could just 'draw a line') but we saw his phone call with Charlie. Because of his own guilt-fueled#paranoia—something shown pretty clearly through the assorted dream sequences and like tht scene of him walking in the hall hearing people#gossip about Daryl—it seems like everything lines up too well! that '*of course* it's Josh and what if it's *been* Josh all along and well#then the role *I* played in the situation really isn't *my* fault because it was all *Josh* and...' etc. even if that's more subconscious#But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although#Zach says he isn't... i mean he fucking stumbles on the word 'afraid' (like... he hangs on the 'f' sound a moment too long to sound natural#its very subtle but like Noticeable). But Josh sees right through him. Zach doesn't trust him anymore. Zach thinks he's the bad guy. the#monster. Josh feeling like he lost the last person he had in his corner feels like the most realistic thing to... push him over the#edge. like that's a compelling tragedy to me—the idea that these two poorly coping with the Daryl situation in these separated ways where#they *aren't* talking/communicating ends up CREATING the feedback loop that makes everything get worse and worse.#But for that to be the case... it wouldn't make sense for Josh to have just randomly killed John before this scene. I think it's a more#interesting story if certain things really ARE just coincidences but it's that Zach's paranoia won't let him see that 🤷
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twice today i've thought about my parents (or been reminded of them) and felt like i was physically disconnected from myself if that makes any sense at all
#mum just sent me a message asking if i've changed my phone#i haven't#saw this message and it was like i was drunk or had taken sleeping drugs with how everything went fuzzy#OUGHHHH fuck my dad just messaged me too saying goodnight. he does this every single night#even though he said 'i'll leave you alone'#i wish he'd stop it's so many messages stacking up and i can't reply to them#went to talk to someone in my uni department today and all he said was theres councilling but with a 6 week waiting list#yay#i can't wait 6 weeks i want just 1 session to ask someone what to do#and for them to tell me what i should do then i'll do it#without the influence of my parents#i didn't tell him about them but he knows part of it#walked back home whilst thinking about what i'd have to do - which is explain the situation to someone else#and it was like i wasnt there#was walking round a corner on the pavement next to a busy road and i was like hmmm i feel like i'm about to walk into it or fall over or#something else because i was NOT in control#maybe i'm just very tired lmao#it's been quite a weekend#i miss my mum so much i feel like i'm not real#was watching the 3rd t/wilight film with my housemates last night just for a laugh#and when the mum appeared i was close to tears honestly#got genuinely moved by the third t/wilight film of all things which is probably an indication#i should get on that waiting list
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06-07-23 Why Patagonia helped Samsung redesign the washing machine
Samsung is releasing a wash cycle and a new filter, which will dramatically shrink microfiber pollution.
Eight years ago, Patagonia started to study a little-known environmental problem: With every load of laundry, thousands (even millions) of microfibers, each less than 5 millimeters long, wash down the drain. Some are filtered out at water treatment plants, but others end up in the ocean, where fibers from synthetic fabric make up a surprisingly large amount of plastic pollution—35%, by one estimate. Fragments of your favorite sweatshirt might now be floating in the Arctic Ocean. In a collaboration that began two years ago, the company helped inspire Samsung to tackle the problem by rethinking its washing machines. Today, Samsung unveiled its solution: A new filter that can be added to existing washers and used along with a “Less Microfiber” cycle that Samsung also designed. The combination makes it possible to shrink microfiber pollution by as much as 98%.
[…] Patagonia’s team connected Samsung with Ocean Wise, a nonprofit that tests fiber shedding among its mission to protect and restore our oceans. Samsung shipped some of its machines to Ocean Wise’s lab in Vancouver, where researchers started to study how various parameters change the results. Cold water and less agitation helped—but both of those things can also make it harder to get clothing clean. “There are maybe two ways of increasing the performance of your washing machine,” says Moohyung Lee, executive vice president and head of R&D at Samsung, through an interpreter. “Number one is to use heated water. That will obviously increase your energy consumption, which is a problem. The second way to increase the performance of your washing machine is to basically create stronger friction between your clothes . . . and this friction and abrasion of the fibers is what results in the output of microplastics.” Samsung had already developed a technology called “EcoBubble” to improve the performance of cold-water cycles to help save energy, and it tweaked the technology to specifically tackle microfiber pollution. “It helps the detergent dissolve more easily in water so that it foams better, which means that you don’t need to heat up your water as much, and you don’t need as much mechanical friction, but you still have a high level of performance,” Lee says. The new “Less Microfiber” cycle, which anyone with a Samsung washer can download as an update for their machine, can reduce microfiber pollution by as much as 54%. To tackle the remainder, the company designed a filter that can be added to existing washers at the drain pipe, with pores tiny enough to capture fibers. They had to balance two conflicting needs: They wanted to make it as simple as possible to use, so consumers didn’t have to continually empty the filter, but it was also critical that the filter wouldn’t get clogged, potentially making water back up and the machine stop working. The final design compresses the microfibers, so it only has to be emptied once a month, and sends an alert via an app when it needs to be changed. Eventually, in theory, the fibers that are collected could potentially be recycled into new material rather than put in the trash. (Fittingly, the filter itself is also made from recycled plastic.) When OceanWise tested the cycle and filter together, they confirmed that it nearly eliminated microfiber pollution. Now, Samsung’s challenge is to get consumers to use it. The filter, which is designed to be easily installed on existing machines, is launching now in Korea and will launch in the U.S. and Europe later this year. The cost will vary by market, but will be around $150 in the U.S. The cycle, which began to roll out last year, can be automatically installed on WiFi-connected machines.
#microplastics#textiles#laundry#environmental#science#patagonia#samsung#i'm. so excited.#also i HAD been silently judging patagonia a little for their heavy use of synthetics but. they ARE walking the walk actually.#(will say that ime the feel of natural fibers is just. better.)#(like. wool has an astonishing ability to keep you warm-but-not-sweaty at a bizarrely wide range of temps)#(whereas like. the synthetic fleece tops i still have are like. immediately cozy‚ sure‚ but you WILL get sweaty if you get warm)#(like being in‚ you know‚ a plastic bag!)#(so like. even if they Fix the Microplastics Problem i have no regrets abt switching my allegiance to woolens)#(but. still fucking THRILLED they might fix the microplastics problem.)#does make you feel like. i'm unavoidably a humanities person but. what are humanities ppl doing that matters this much.#like fundamentally if you really want to do good in the world you probably SHOULD become a scientist of some kind.#that said‚ science would almost certainly not be improved by my participating in it‚ so like. what can you do.#really hugely awed by & appreciative of scientists tho.#anyway. obvs this is really just a press release and we gotta see how this plays out but.#!
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hello beautifuls, i got a job offer last week in [redacted] and i’m so grateful and excited to be… making money again! and to finally have my own place and fix it up to my taste and get 2 cats 🥹 there’s a job in [redacted] w the same exact salary range and i’m really hoping i get it bc it’s a much more desirable hot girl walkable city. my final interview for that job is next wednesday send hot girl city job offer vibes my way pls
#either way i’m so excited to be getting out of texas. i have a love hate relationship w my city bc it’s 90% mexican and frankly moving#either cities means i will mostly be surrounded by white people and i’m not even trying to be funny when i say that scares me a lil#i remember the first time my big sis and i visited new jersey and when we were walking around the town i looked at her and went ‘i’ve never#seen this many white people in my life’ and her eyes got big and she said ‘i was thinking the exact same thing’. like there’s safety and#security in being constantly surrounded by other mexicans/latinos but alas. it’s time to get out of the comfort zone and make some schmonie#the salary is very good i think but then again i probably don’t feel as impressed or wowed as i should bc i think i deserve 1 million#dollars an hour. and i don’t have imposter syndrome in fact i have i deserve it syndrome. i worked hard for everything i’ve earned so far#and im an amazing operations manager so yeah pay up bozo better yet? offer me more money :~] i actually did try negotiating the salary and#they were like well no. but we still want to extend the original offer LMAO i was like ok. i deserve it but ok#then i got a second job offer like the day after but they were offering $15k less and i was like hmm maybe this current job offer is pretty#good overall. so i denied it obviously and accepted the other one but i’m still holding out on the hot girl city job offer.#ill tell yall the cities once everything i said and done. send hot girl city vibes my way pls xoxooxo#thank you loves you all. walkable city here i come (i hope)!#mine
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