#and sad :C
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feral-ballad · 2 months ago
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Maya C. Popa, from Wound is the Origin of Wonder: Poems: “Duress”
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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knockknockitsnickels · 5 months ago
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"Sacrifice the Yourself" (title pending), the hip new slay the princess swap AU, in which you and the girlies must decide if you're gonna let a giant bird stab you (and maybe.... find love?!)
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fateswind0wseat · 4 months ago
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Happy 9th Birthday Undertale
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monstermonger · 4 months ago
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The binding coil of Bahamut
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elitisim · 21 days ago
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. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, DAY 10: 10 LORDS A LEAPING!⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊
The boys are back in town!
Day 10 of [ELITISIM’S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS ADVENT EXTRAVAGANZA!]] is Much, MUCH needed love to the fine gentlemen of TS3. So funny story, this was this primarily supposed to be a cold weather menswear pack that I was supposed to post back in like late-September/EARLY October, it was literally called the equinox collection... but then the fall equinox passed, and I didn't know what the rename it, and I didn't feel like remaking the graphics...so now it's Christmas gifts!
Information:
None of this is my original work! All mesh and texture credit goes to, @gorillax3, @darte77, @lazyeyelids, @amelylinaa @ooboosoo, @atomiclight-cc, @xion!
Set contains 31 CAS items for YA-A Males: 22 Tops, and 9 Bottoms
All clothing options are disabled for random, have all LODS, and Morphs.
credits, preview pictures, links to originals, poly counts and individual download links for every single item is under the cut.
WARNING:Polycounts are HIGH for MOST of this stuff. Sorry! Please reference the list under the cut before downloading!
**WARNING 2: the bones on the Bottom2632 w/ Spiked Belt are ASS. I didn't want to upload them because I'm not really proud of them, but a friend asked about them specifically, so they're in here.
[DOWNLOAD MERGED]
[DOWNLOAD UNMERGED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
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@ooobsooo: KKBasic 06 cargo pants // 7.8k poly // 4 channels//[DOWNLOAD] @oobsooo: KKBasicsSet 15 Jeans // 7.8k Poly // 4 Channels // [DOWNLOAD] @ooobsooo: Kwang Gong Suit // 7.2.k poly // 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
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@ooobsooo:Layer shirt 3// 7.4k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @ooobsooo:March Denim Jacket + // 10.2k poly // 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @amelylina: Benjamin Sweater// 6.5k poly// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
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@darte77 Belted Jeans 102 // 8.9k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] **@darte77 Bottom2632 w/ Spiked Belt//9.5k polyys// 4 channels// ** bones are not great on this download at your own risk** [DOWNLOAD] @darte77: Long coat // 11.3K polys// 4 channels/ [DOWNLOAD]
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@darte77 Parka w/Layered Shirt // 7.2k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @darte77 RAF Bomber Jacket// 9.3k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @darte77 Ripped Knit Sweater//9.1k//2 channels//[DOWNLOAD]
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@darte77 Moto Jacket // 10k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @darte77 Leather Overcoat// 11.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @darte77 Wool Overcoat//11.1k//4 channels//[DOWNLOAD]
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@darte77 Parka w/ Turtleneck // 10.1k polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD] @gorillax3-cc: basic cardigan 2// 9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Basic Sweater// 9k poly// 4 channels// [Download]
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@gorillax3-cc: Cardigan and Shirt 3// 7.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Chino Pants// 6.3k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Coord Pants//4.2k// 4 channels// [Download]
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@gorillax3-cc: Down Jacket 3// 9.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Down Vest// 7.9k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Mandarin Collar Shirt//8.2k// 4 channels// [Download]
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@gorillax3-cc: Pajama Shirt // 8.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Pants 15 w/ Gucci Belt// 2.6k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @gorillax3-cc: Scarf String Hoodie//8.1k// 4 channels// [Download]
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@xionsims: Cool Kid Jeans // 6.2k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @xionsims: Ripped Jeans // 6.8k poly// 4 channels// [Download] @Darte77 // Layered Shirts// 10.2k // 2 channels + 4 swatches// [Download] @lazyeyelids: Chesterfeild Coat// 7.1k Polys// 4 channels// [DOWNLOAD]
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psychwardkitten · 27 days ago
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
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essenceofarda · 4 months ago
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Sometimes a family is an elf, a dwarf, and the human orphan infant they find amongst the rubble after the Battle of the Pelennor Fields,, whom they decide to raise together,, 🥹
Anyway, yeah! Introducing Gigolas' daughter 👧🏻
(I still need to figure out her name--I want something that is a blend of dwarven and elvish, so suggestions from those more knowledgable about tolkien's languages/etc would be super appreciated! Also I have SO many fanart ideas for this lil' family, idk, let me know if you wanna see more art of them 🤩🥰)
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gooptroupe · 6 months ago
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birthday family reunion
click for better quality, sketch + closeups under cut
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btw the recipe techno used is one nikki gave him ((he messed it up horrendously) they still eat it tho)
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princesssmars · 3 months ago
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just thinking of softly reconnecting with vi after so many years apart :c
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let’s say after the explosion happened you had stuck together with ekko, helping him build and nurture the firelights from the ground up into the thriving community it is today. after coming to terms with what you’d lost and possibly losing jinx sooner or later, you saw ekko as the only family you had left and trusted him more than any one or anything.
which is why she when he gets back from some secretive day trip he’d gone out on he brings you with him to see what he’d found - who he had found.
for the first few seconds you thought she was a ghost, a cruel trick your mind was playing on you by projecting your fears of being scared for ekko into your dead best friend, more than your friend, into what she’d look like today if she was still by your side. if everything that had happened simply didn’t.
but before you can react she’s slipping out of her cuffs (you’d always told ekko that he never fastened them tight enough for zaunites) and lifting you in her arms,your brain catching up and getting out all the buried emotions in the force of your hug.
once you both calm down she explains everything, always so open to you, how she had been taken and thrown in still water for years and had gotten out just less than a day ago, she’d never leave you and ekko and jin powder behind, not even to save her own skin from the destruction of that day.
and as much as the explanation calmed you you knew and reassured her you didn’t need it, taking her hand in yours and pressing it to your chest, heart swelling at the tears appearing at the corners of her eyes.
she and her companion are given only a few days to rest and heal with the firelight’s before they need to return some weird important blue gem they’d found, but until then you don’t leave vi’s side. you show her around the base, make sure she’s eating an actual meal for the first time in years, and that she’s not straining her injury whether she’d gotten it healed by shimmer or not.
by the time night falls you can slowly but surely see the energy coming back to her body. well, spiritually, not physically. you show her to one of the spare quarters for new firelights. you don't have a choice but to join her when her hand tightens around your wrist and drags you in with her, plopping the both of you on the plush of the bed.
its cute how she almost seems to melt into it, lashes fluttering and looking on the near brink of sleep in only five seconds before your giggling brings her back, reluctantly moving so that you can scoot into bed behind her.
you can tell she’s still on edge when you gently place your hand on her head, taking care to use gentle movements as you move her to lie on top of you so you don’t disturb her. you can see the scars on her back peeking out from under her shirt and it takes everything in you to blink away the tears forming. there was a time when vi would initiate affection with you so earnestly, wrapping you and her other loved ones into her arms until your stomach felt like it'd burst from love. and now she was rigid at you softly brushing her hair.
clearly, your silence and reluctance make it obvious why you’re being so delicate because she gives a brief explanation of what happened to her in stillwater, her breath quietly hitching in parts where she can't hide how deeply what happened affected her. by the time she's done you can feel stray tears falling down your face, hands trembling as you hug her ever closer to you.
she buries herself impossibly closer to you, lashes tickling your chest as she press her lips to your sternum in an act so desperate you think calling it a kiss is a disservice. you can feel her relax as you start to brush her hair and talk to her aimlessly, about all of the things she's missed, things you cant wait to show her now that she's back.
it's the best night's sleep she had in years.
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feral-ballad · 2 months ago
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Maya C. Popa, from Wound is the Origin of Wonder: Poems: “Not the wound, but what the wound implies”
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rozugold · 7 months ago
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From that dream I had
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3m0g1rlyyy · 8 months ago
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All fun and games till i remember when i was 11 i was crying my eyes out and begging god to take my life when i fall asleep so i could finally rest in peace.
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pralinesims · 6 months ago
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I'm the biggest Wolfcut Aaron advocate ✋
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neofox · 7 months ago
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...why did he leave me? 💔
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