#and rigid societal structures!

[umactuallycallie]

Predictably, Heathcliff. I adore him. Every time a Goodreads review says he’s the villain an angel loses its wings.

[cowboyslikedean]

“my fav character could never perpetuate a harmful societal construct because they’ve been a victim of societal constructs and also they’re Good and the construct is BAD so if they had done that THEY would be bad and they’re not they’re Good.” have any of u met a real person ever

[the-crooked-library]

so within the universe of Dune, gender roles abide by a rigid false dichotomy created by the bene gesserit - men lead the noble houses, while the women may join their order, and the powers of both are kept intentionally separate. at the same time, the plot demonstrates repeatedly that the role of paul atreides as a character is that of the border between the concepts juxtaposed within dichotomies: he is both an outerworlder and fremen, both harkonnen and atreides, both a duke and a disciple of the bene gesserit.

as such, it follows that within the in-universe gender structure, he occupies the roles of both male and female, thus being functionally and societally nonbinary. in this essay, i will -

[gyuuberryy]

a love affair in colour

pairing: art tutor!jay x princess!reader

synopsis: as a princess exploring her artistic passions, you’re drawn to jay, your mesmerising art teacher whose lessons stir more than just creativity. what begins as a quest to master your craft quickly becomes a whirlwind of tension and forbidden desire. with every brushstroke and shared moment, the line between teacher and lover blurs. but when societal barriers and personal doubts threaten your connection, will you both find a way to embrace a future together, or will your love remain a beautiful but fleeting masterpiece?

genre: strangers to lovers, forbidden relationship, comfort

warnings: kissing, lots of tension, mentions of status difference, angst, a little suggestive

note: i used my experience in art to detail all the content related to it so bear with me if it seems a little modern, i don't know much about how they did art in the olden times. also jay just constantly raises my standards??? i love that man so much he's so husband material it hurts TT enjoy reading!

word count : 11.1k

royally yours masterlist | prev:heeseung | next: jake

if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

you’ve always been drawn to art. as a child, while other princesses were learning courtly etiquette or practising diplomacy, you were sneaking into the gardens to sketch the trees or hiding in your chambers, fingers stained with ink as you copied paintings from the castle’s grand halls. but those were mere indulgences, fleeting escapes from the rigid structure of royal life.

when your parents noticed your growing talent, they encouraged it—as a hobby, of course. something to amuse yourself with between diplomatic meetings, public appearances, and the pressures of royal expectations. but for you, art was never just a pastime. it was a passion. an escape. a way to express the parts of you that didn’t fit into the carefully curated image of a princess.

so, when you told your parents you wanted to pursue art seriously, it was met with initial resistance. a princess has duties, obligations, responsibilities. but you persisted, and eventually, they relented. if you were going to study art, they wanted the best for you. that’s how jay came to the palace—an accomplished artist in his own right, though he came from modest beginnings. he was hired to help you master the craft before your trip to paris, where you’d study under the finest artists in the world.

jay’s reputation preceded him. he was known not only for his skill but for his ability to bring out the best in his students. when he arrived at the palace, you were both eager and nervous, unsure of what to expect.

your first meeting was in the grand studio, a room that had once been your sanctuary. now, as you stand by the window, gazing out over the palace grounds, you feel the weight of what’s to come. you’re no longer a novice; this isn’t just a casual hobby. this is the beginning of something serious, something real. and the thought of it is both exhilarating and terrifying.

the door creaks open behind you, and you turn to see him—jay. he’s younger than you expected, though older than you by a few years. his clothes are simple, a stark contrast to the luxury of your surroundings, yet he wears them with a quiet confidence. his dark hair is tousled, as though he’s just come from a long day at work, and there’s a certain intensity in his eyes, a focus that makes your stomach flip.

“your highness,” he greets, bowing low.

“please, just my name,” you say quickly, hoping to dispel some of the formality that hangs between you. “if we’re to work together, there’s no need for titles.”

he straightens, and for a moment, you think you see a flicker of something—surprise? amusement?—in his expression, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. “very well,” he says simply. “shall we begin?”

you nod, feeling a mix of anticipation and nerves as you lead him to the easel set up near the window. it’s been prepared for your first lesson, a blank canvas stretched taut, waiting for the first stroke of charcoal or paint. you’ve done this before, hundreds of times, but never under the watchful eye of a teacher like jay.

“before we begin,” he says, setting his bag down on the table, “tell me why you want to do this. not because you have to—because you want to.”

his question catches you off guard. you’d expected him to dive straight into the technical aspects of drawing or painting, not to ask about your motivations. but there’s a seriousness in his tone that tells you he’s not just asking out of curiosity. he wants to understand. he wants to know you.

“i’ve always loved art,” you admit, folding your hands in front of you, feeling a little exposed. “it’s the one thing that’s mine. in a world where so much is decided for me, art is where i get to choose. it’s... freedom.”

jay nods slowly, as if weighing your words. “art is freedom,” he agrees quietly. “it’s expression. it’s telling the world who you are without saying a word. but it’s also discipline. and commitment. if you’re serious about this, i’ll push you. i’ll make sure you’re challenged. does that sound like something you’re ready for?”

your heart beats faster. his intensity is palpable, and it’s hard not to be swept up in it. “yes,” you say, though the word comes out softer than you intended. “i’m ready.”

he regards you for a moment longer, then reaches into his bag, pulling out a small sketchbook and a piece of charcoal. “we’ll start with something simple,” he says, handing you the charcoal. “i want you to draw me.”

you blink, surprised. “draw you?”

“it’s a good exercise,” he explains, moving to stand a little distance away. “if you can capture the essence of a person, you can draw anything.”

your fingers tighten around the charcoal as you sit at the easel, facing him. it feels strange, having him as the subject. his features are sharp, defined, but there’s something else—an intensity in his gaze that makes it hard to concentrate. you take a deep breath and begin to sketch, the sound of the charcoal scratching against the canvas the only sound in the room.

it’s not easy. his face is a study in contrasts—strong jawline, soft eyes, dark brows furrowed in concentration as he watches you work. you find yourself getting lost in the details, trying to capture the exact curve of his lips, the shadow beneath his cheekbone. but the more you focus, the more elusive it becomes.

“you’re overthinking it,” jay says suddenly, breaking the silence. he moves behind you, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his body, though he doesn’t touch you. “you’re focusing on the parts, not the whole. step back. see the bigger picture.”

you try to follow his advice, but his presence behind you is distracting, and the scent of him—earthy, with a hint of something fresh—fills your senses. your heart beats faster, though you try to ignore it.

jay steps closer, his breath warm against your ear. “here,” he says softly, reaching out to guide your hand. his fingers brush yours, sending a jolt through your body, and you almost drop the charcoal. “loosen your grip. let the lines flow.”

you do as he says, though your heart races at his nearness. his hand lingers over yours for a moment too long before he pulls away, but the connection between you doesn’t fade. the air feels charged, as if something unsaid hangs between you.

when you finish the sketch, it’s rough, imperfect, but there’s something there—a spark of life, of emotion. jay leans over your shoulder to examine it, his expression unreadable.

“better,” he says after a moment, his voice low and approving. “you’ve captured something real here.”

you look at the drawing again, trying to see what he sees, but all you can think about is the way his hand felt over yours, the way his voice seemed to wrap around you like a secret.

as he moves to gather his things, you realise that this is just the beginning. the first lesson. but already, something has shifted between you. something neither of you can name yet, but it’s there—in the shared glances, the lingering touches, the unspoken connection.

and as jay turns to leave, promising to return for your next lesson, you can’t help but wonder if this is really just about art—or if something far more dangerous has already begun.

the days following your first lesson with jay felt like a strange new rhythm. art had always been a deeply personal escape for you, something that existed in the quiet moments between royal duties, but now it had become something more. each session with jay stirred something inside you—not just the desire to improve, but a spark of something you couldn't quite name.

jay had been nothing but professional, his focus always on your craft. but beneath his calm demeanour, there was an undercurrent, a kind of intensity in the way he looked at you during your lessons. it was subtle, barely noticeable, but it was there, like the brushstrokes of a painting hidden beneath layers of paint.

today, as you enter the studio, you feel it more than ever. the room is bathed in soft light, the kind of glow that makes everything seem warmer, softer. jay is already there, setting up supplies on the table, his back to you. you watch him for a moment, your eyes tracing the broad lines of his shoulders, the way his hands move with such precision and care.

“good morning,” you say, finally breaking the silence. your voice comes out softer than you intended, the room swallowing the sound.

he turns, a brief smile crossing his face. “good morning.” there’s a hint of warmth in his tone, but as always, it’s controlled, measured. jay has never been one to show too much emotion, though lately, you’ve caught glimpses of something more.

“i thought we’d try something different today,” he says, gesturing to the large canvas in the corner of the room. “i want to work on your observation skills.”

you nod, intrigued. “what do you have in mind?”

instead of answering immediately, jay picks up a chair and places it in the centre of the room, angled toward the sunlight. he then takes his sketchbook and charcoal, positioning himself in front of the chair but far enough away that there’s space between you.

“i want you to sit,” he says simply, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before flickering away. “i’m going to sketch you.”

the request catches you off guard. “me? but... shouldn’t i be the one practising sketching?”

he smiles faintly, shaking his head. “today, i want you to feel what it’s like to be the subject. to understand how the artist sees you.” he glances at the canvas, and then back at you. “it’ll help you observe the world around you with more empathy, more connection.”

the thought of jay watching you, studying you so closely, makes your heart race. you’ve always been behind the canvas, never in front of it. to have his eyes on you, not just in passing but with the intention of capturing every detail—it feels strangely vulnerable.

but you trust him. there’s something about jay that puts you at ease, even when you’re unsure of yourself. so, you sit in the chair, adjusting your posture slightly, your hands resting in your lap.

“relax,” he says softly, his voice gentle. “you don’t have to pose. just be yourself.”

you try to do as he says, leaning back into the chair, though your heart is beating a little faster now. the room is quiet except for the faint scratch of his charcoal on the page, and you’re acutely aware of his gaze as it moves over you—your face, your hands, the way the light falls on your hair.

he works silently, his brow furrowed in concentration, and you find yourself watching him, trying to read the expression on his face. there’s a softness there that you hadn’t noticed before, a kind of careful attention that feels almost… tender.

for a while, neither of you speaks. you’re not sure how long has passed—minutes? hours? time seems to lose its meaning in this space, as if the world outside the studio doesn’t exist.

“so you want to pursue art huh?” jay’s voice breaks the silence, and you blink, surprised by the question.

“yes” you reply, shifting slightly in the chair.

he doesn’t look up from his sketch. “why did you choose art? out of everything you could have pursued?”

the question is one you’ve asked yourself many times. you think back to your childhood, to the afternoons spent sneaking away from your tutors to draw in the gardens, the way art always felt like a safe space in a world full of expectations.

“i think… it’s because art lets me be free,” you say slowly, choosing your words carefully. “in everything else, i’m the princess. i have to be perfect, poised, controlled. but with art, i can be messy. i can make mistakes. it’s mine.”

jay pauses, his hand hovering over the sketchbook for a moment before he continues. “freedom is important,” he says quietly. “especially for someone like you.”

there’s something in his tone, a weight to his words, and you wonder what he means by that. does he understand what it’s like to feel trapped by expectations? to want something more, something beyond the roles you’ve been given?

before you can ask, jay looks up, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since he started sketching. his gaze is intense, but not in a way that makes you uncomfortable. it’s more like he’s seeing you, really seeing you, in a way that no one else ever has.

“you have a natural grace,” he says softly, almost as if speaking to himself. “but it’s more than that. there’s something… untamed about you.”

your breath catches in your throat. no one has ever spoken to you like that before. not with such quiet certainty, as if they’ve seen beyond the surface of who you are.

you don’t know what to say. the air in the room feels heavier now, charged with something you can’t quite name. you shift in your seat, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze, but jay’s expression remains calm, thoughtful.

he tilts his head slightly, observing you with the same intensity he’s had since the beginning of the lesson. “there’s more to art than technique,” he says, his voice low. “it’s about connection. about understanding the person you’re drawing, not just how they look, but who they are.”

his words stir something inside you—a sense of being understood in a way you’ve never experienced before. you’re not just a princess in this room, not just another student. you’re you, with all your complexities and contradictions, and somehow, jay has seen that.

it makes you feel exposed in a way you hadn’t anticipated, and yet there’s a comfort in it, too. you’ve spent your whole life hiding parts of yourself, but with jay, it feels like you don’t have to.

finally, he sets the sketchbook aside, standing up and crossing the room to where you’re seated. he doesn’t hand you the sketch immediately, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s unsure about showing it to you.

“you can tell a lot about a person by how they draw,” he says quietly, standing in front of you now, his gaze unwavering. “but you can tell even more by how they let themselves be seen.”

your pulse quickens, the weight of his words settling deep within you. it’s not just about the sketch anymore—it’s about everything. the way you’ve been navigating these lessons, the way you’ve been letting him into your world, piece by piece.

he holds out the sketch to you, and when you take it, your fingers brush against his, a fleeting touch that lingers in your mind longer than it should.

the drawing is beautiful. he’s captured you in a way that feels both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. there’s a softness to your expression, a quiet strength in the lines of your face, and yet… there’s something else. something deeper.

“it’s beautiful,” you whisper, tracing the lines with your fingertips. “i’ve never seen myself like this before.”

jay watches you carefully, his expression unreadable. “that’s because no one’s ever looked at you like this before.”

the words hit you like a gentle wave, their meaning sinking in slowly. you glance up at him, unsure of how to respond. there’s a new tension between you now, but it’s not the kind that comes from desire or rushed feelings. it’s deeper than that—a connection, a shared understanding that goes beyond mere attraction.

for a moment, you sit in silence, the sketch resting in your lap as the light from the window shifts slightly, casting long shadows across the room. you can feel the change in the air, but neither of you moves to break it.

and as jay steps back, giving you space, you realise that this—whatever it is—will take time to fully unfold. you’re not rushing toward anything, but there’s something between you now, something real and undeniable.

but for now, you’ll let it simmer. there’s no need to rush. not yet.

the days have passed like pages in a book, each art lesson with jay slowly building a tension that you feel in the very air of the studio. his presence is constant but controlled, his touch fleeting yet always careful. you’ve found yourself looking forward to these lessons more than you’d ever anticipated, though not only for the sake of art. something else draws you here each time, something that’s harder to admit even to yourself.

when you arrive at the studio today, the familiar scent of paint and canvas greets you, mingling with the crisp morning air. jay is there, of course, already preparing the materials, his back to you as he arranges brushes and bottles of linseed oil. the sun filters in through the tall windows, casting long beams across the room, turning everything into shades of gold. today feels different, though you can’t quite pinpoint why.

he turns as you approach, offering you a brief smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "good morning," he says, his voice as calm and composed as ever, though you think you detect a slight hesitancy behind his words.

"good morning," you reply, your heart already beating a little faster. the last few lessons have been charged with a new energy, a subtle yet undeniable pull between the two of you. you've tried to keep your thoughts focused on the art, but with each session, it’s become harder.

jay steps over to the large canvas he’s set up for today’s lesson. "we’re going to work on technique," he explains, holding up a palette of mixed colours, the vibrant hues blending like a sunset in his hands. "i want you to feel the texture of the paint, how the brush moves against the canvas. it’s all about control and release."

you nod, though the concept seems easier said than done. painting has always been more of a challenge for you, especially when it comes to finding that balance. jay, however, has a way of guiding you through each step without ever making you feel inadequate.

"let’s start with the basics," he says, handing you a brush. his fingers brush against yours for the briefest moment, and you feel a spark travel up your arm, though you’re sure he doesn’t notice.

you position yourself in front of the canvas, trying to steady your breathing as you dip the brush into the paint. the first few strokes are tentative, careful. you focus on the movement of your hand, but your mind is distracted by the weight of jay’s presence behind you. it’s as if the air in the room has thickened, every sound, every movement, magnified.

jay watches in silence for a few moments, then steps closer, so close that you can feel the warmth of his body behind you. "here," he murmurs softly, his voice right beside your ear. "let me show you."

before you can respond, he places his hands lightly on your waist, adjusting your stance. the touch is firm but gentle, and it sends a shockwave through your body. your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you’re hyper-aware of every point of contact—his hands on your hips, the warmth of his chest just inches from your back.

"relax," he whispers, his voice low and calming, though you can hear a slight strain in it, like he’s carefully keeping something in check. "you’re too tense."

easier said than done. you can barely think straight with him so close, let alone concentrate on the canvas. but you try, forcing yourself to take a breath, to focus on the task at hand. jay doesn’t move away. instead, he steps even closer, his chest nearly brushing your back as he moves his hands from your waist to your arm, guiding your wrist as you hold the brush.

"feel the paint," he says, his breath warm against your ear. "don’t fight it. let it flow."

his hand wraps around yours, firm but careful, and he moves your arm in a slow, fluid motion. the brush glides across the canvas with ease, the paint spreading in smooth, even strokes. his touch is light but deliberate, and you find yourself following his lead, your body responding to the way he directs the movement.

"you’re doing well," he murmurs, and you can feel his breath against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "just like that."

the room feels smaller, the air thicker, as if the space between you is shrinking with each passing second. you try to focus on the canvas, but it’s impossible with jay so close. his presence is overwhelming, consuming, and you’re acutely aware of every shift, every movement.

"you don’t need to force it," he continues, his voice barely above a whisper now, his lips dangerously close to your ear. "let the brush move with you."

you nod, though your throat is too dry to speak. the closeness between you is intoxicating, and you can feel the tension building with each breath you take. jay’s hand tightens slightly around yours, and for a moment, you wonder if he feels it too—the pull, the unspoken connection that seems to have grown stronger with each lesson.

he guides your hand in another slow stroke across the canvas, but this time, the brush slips slightly, leaving a streak of paint that’s a little too heavy. you let out a soft, frustrated sigh, but jay only chuckles, the sound low and warm.

"don’t worry about perfection," he says, his voice rumbling in your ear. "art isn’t about being perfect. it’s about feeling."

his hand lingers on yours a moment longer before he lets go, stepping back slightly. the sudden absence of his touch leaves you feeling off-balance, as if the ground beneath you has shifted. you exhale a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and lower the brush, your heart still racing.

"good," jay says, his voice a little more distant now as he moves back to the table. "you’re getting better. it’s all about control and release, but it takes time to find that balance."

you nod, though your mind is still reeling from the intensity of the moment. you’ve never felt so aware of your body, of your own reactions, as you do when jay is close like that. it’s as though he knows exactly how to touch you, how to guide you, without ever crossing the line—but just barely.

you place the brush down on the easel, turning to face him. jay is busy cleaning the palette, his face unreadable as he focuses on the task. but there’s something different about the way he holds himself, a tension in his posture that wasn’t there before.

"thank you," you say softly, breaking the silence that has settled between you. your voice sounds a little shaky, but you hope he doesn’t notice.

he glances up at you, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before flickering away. "it’s my job," he replies, but there’s something in his tone—something almost… uncertain.

the silence that follows is heavy, filled with the unspoken tension that has been growing between you for weeks. you can feel it in the way he looks at you, in the way his hands linger just a little too long when he helps you. it’s as though you’re both standing at the edge of something, but neither of you knows how to take the next step.

finally, jay sets the palette down and steps back, putting a little more distance between you. "we’ll keep working on this," he says, his voice returning to its usual composed tone. "you’re improving, but there’s still more to learn."

you nod, feeling a little breathless, though you’re not sure if it’s from the painting or from the closeness you just shared. "i’ll keep practising," you say, though the words feel almost trivial in the weight of the moment.

jay gives you a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "good," he says softly, before turning back to his brushes. "we’ll pick up again tomorrow."

you linger for a moment, watching him as he carefully cleans the paint from his hands, his movements precise and controlled. and as you leave the studio, you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed between you, something that neither of you can ignore for much longer.

the pottery studio feels different today. the atmosphere is heavy, thick with anticipation, but you try to ignore it as you sit at the wheel, your hands already messy with clay. the wheel spins slowly beneath your fingers, but no matter how many times you’ve tried, the clay refuses to cooperate, collapsing into a lump before you can give it any real shape. you groan in frustration, watching another failed attempt crumble under your touch.

“take your time. it’s all about feeling the clay, not controlling it,” jay says softly from behind you, his voice calm but carrying that familiar undercurrent of something unspoken. he’s watching closely, his presence as steady as always, but today it feels more intense—like a subtle hum in the air that makes the space between you vibrate with tension.

you sigh, wiping your hands on your apron. "i don’t think i’m getting this at all," you mutter, staring down at the shapeless mound on the wheel. pottery has proven to be a far bigger challenge than painting—there’s something about the unpredictability of the clay that throws you off balance.

jay steps closer, his footsteps almost silent on the studio floor. "you’re too tense," he observes, his voice low and measured. "let me show you."

before you can respond, he’s already moving behind you. the air shifts as his body nears, and suddenly, you can feel the heat of him pressing close. he slides onto the bench behind you, his legs on either side of yours. the intimate position makes your heart race instantly, your pulse quickening in response to his proximity. his chest brushes your back, his breath warm on the side of your neck, and suddenly it’s hard to focus on anything other than how close he is.

he pauses his movements. “is it okay if i sit behind you like this? i may need to touch your hands as well.”

you nod at his soft words, “yes that’s alright.”

the studio feels smaller, the world outside forgotten as you’re enveloped by his presence. you can feel the solid warmth of his chest against your spine, the way his thighs gently cage yours. every point of contact feels electric, the tension simmering between you palpable.

“relax,” he murmurs, his voice almost a whisper, low and soothing. his breath brushes the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “you’re trying too hard to control it. you have to let the clay respond to your touch.”

his hands move to cover yours, his fingers sliding over your clay-streaked knuckles. his touch is firm but gentle, guiding your hands to the wheel as it starts spinning once again. the sensation of his fingers wrapping around yours sends a ripple of awareness through your body, and for a moment, all you can focus on is the warmth of his skin, the weight of his hands over yours.

"feel the clay," jay instructs, his voice quiet but filled with intent. his breath is warm against your ear, and the proximity, the intimacy of the moment, makes it nearly impossible to concentrate. "it moves with you. let it guide you."

his hands press lightly against yours, directing your fingers as they glide over the surface of the clay. the wheel turns slowly beneath your palms, the soft texture of the clay smoothing out under the pressure. you try to focus on the task at hand, but the sensation of his body against yours—the gentle weight of his chest pressed to your back, his legs framing yours—is overwhelming. the world narrows down to the feel of his touch, the sound of his steady breath so close to your ear.

"you need to feel the shape," jay continues, his voice lower now, more intimate. his hands move with yours, guiding your fingers as they dip into the soft clay. his touch is deliberate, patient, and it feels like he’s not just teaching you pottery, but something deeper, something far more personal.

your hands move together as you both shape the clay, your fingers sliding inside the hollow of the vase. the action is slow, almost sensual, and the suggestiveness of the movement doesn’t escape you. the pressure of his fingers over yours, the way his hands direct yours in shaping the delicate interior, feels too intimate, too deliberate. the tension that has been building for weeks now feels almost unbearable.

your breath quickens, your heart hammering in your chest, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks. jay’s chest presses more firmly against your back as his hands guide you deeper into the clay, shaping it from within. his fingers dip, mirroring yours, and the act of molding the vase becomes something far more intimate than you could have ever anticipated.

"just like that," jay whispers, his voice huskier than before, his breath hot against your ear. his hands slow, his fingers lingering on yours as you move together. the wheel spins quietly, the clay yielding to your touch, but it’s hard to focus on the art when the closeness between you feels like it’s about to explode into something more.

you can feel every movement of his chest against your back, the rise and fall of his breath growing uneven. the heat of his body is overwhelming, making it nearly impossible to concentrate on the clay. your pulse is racing, and you’re certain he can feel the way your body trembles slightly under his touch.

suddenly, you realise you can feel his heart. it’s beating erratically against your spine, matching the rapid rhythm of your own. the awareness crashes over you like a wave—he’s feeling it too. the tension, the pull between you, it’s not just in your head. his hands tighten slightly over yours, his chest pressing more firmly against your back, and for a fleeting moment, it feels like the world is tilting.

you bite your lip, trying to keep your breathing steady, but it’s impossible with him so close, with the weight of his body grounding you while simultaneously setting you on fire. your fingers dip into the clay once more, but all you can feel is the warmth of his hands over yours, the way his presence fills every corner of your mind.

jay’s breath hitches, barely audible, but you hear it. you feel it. the tension between you has been simmering for weeks, and now it’s at a boiling point, undeniable and heavy.

after what feels like an eternity, jay finally pulls his hands away, the absence of his touch leaving you cold and disoriented. his chest moves away from your back, and he stands slowly, as if he, too, is struggling to shake off the intensity of the moment.

"good work," he says, his voice quieter than usual, almost strained. he steps away from the wheel, his hands clenching and unclenching as though he’s trying to regain his composure.

you remain seated, your hands still coated in clay, your heart still racing. the silence between you is thick with everything unsaid. you can still feel the echo of his hands on yours, the warmth of his body lingering against your skin.

finally, you glance over your shoulder, your eyes searching his face for some kind of answer, some indication of what he’s thinking. but jay’s expression is unreadable, his gaze fixed on the now-complete vase on the wheel.

"you did well," he repeats, though his tone is quieter, almost distant. there’s something unresolved in the air, something that neither of you dares to acknowledge aloud.

as you stand, your legs unsteady, you can’t help but feel that something between you has shifted irreversibly. the line you’ve both been walking for weeks feels dangerously close to being crossed, and the question now is whether either of you is ready to take that step.

the last day of your art lessons starts with a sense of melancholy that you try to push away. you know that this will be your final session with jay, and although you’ve learned more than you could have imagined, the thought of no longer spending time with him feels like a loss. he greets you at the studio with his usual warm smile, but there’s something different about him today—a lightness that wasn’t there before.

“we’re not staying inside today,” jay says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “i figured we’ve done enough of that. you’ve been using my supplies, so i thought it’s time you get your own.”

you blink, surprised by the suggestion. “you mean we’re going shopping?”

he nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “you deserve your own tools. besides, i want to show you my favourite spots.”

the idea excites you more than you’d expected. it feels intimate, personal—like he’s sharing a part of himself with you outside the confines of the studio. and so, you follow him out into the bustling streets, the city alive with activity as you walk side by side, the sky overhead a muted grey that promises rain.

the first shop is a small, unassuming place tucked between two larger storefronts, and you wouldn’t have noticed it if jay hadn’t pointed it out. inside, it’s a treasure trove of art supplies—shelves stacked high with paints, brushes, and sketchpads of every kind. the scent of paper and wood fills the air, and you can’t help but feel a little like a child in a candy store, overwhelmed by the endless possibilities.

jay moves through the aisles with ease, clearly at home here. he picks up brushes, testing their weight in his hand before handing them to you to feel. “this one’s perfect for detail work,” he says, holding up a fine-tipped brush. “and this,” he adds, pulling out a thicker, more rugged one, “is for broader strokes, more expression.”

you watch him as he speaks, his voice low and sure, and you find yourself more captivated by him than the tools he’s showing you. there’s something about the way his hands move with such confidence, the way he seems to understand the soul of each item, that draws you in. it’s a side of him you haven’t seen before, one that’s less restrained, more passionate.

he catches you staring, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “what?”

you quickly look away, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “nothing,” you mumble, pretending to examine the brushes in front of you.

but you can’t hide your growing admiration for him, and you suspect he knows it. he moves closer, his arm brushing lightly against yours as he reaches for a set of soft pastels. “try these,” he says, handing them to you. “i think they’ll suit your style.”

you take the pastels from him, your fingers brushing against his in the exchange, and for a moment, the air between you feels charged. you swallow hard, trying to focus on the colours in your hand rather than the way his touch lingers in your mind.

from there, you move to the next shop, a slightly larger one filled with canvases of all sizes and shapes. jay pulls you toward a display of stretched canvas frames, explaining the difference between cotton and linen, the various textures and how they interact with different mediums. he talks with such enthusiasm that you can’t help but smile, his passion contagious.

“pick a few,” he says, gesturing to the rows of canvases. “you’re going to need a variety if you want to keep experimenting.”

you nod, feeling a sense of freedom in the choice. as you select your canvases, jay hovers nearby, occasionally offering suggestions but mostly watching with a quiet intensity that makes your skin prickle. you wonder what he’s thinking, whether he’s just as aware of the subtle tension that’s been growing between you over the weeks.

the third shop is more modern, filled with high-end supplies—gorgeous palettes of oil paints in jewel tones, sleek metal easels, and handcrafted wooden boxes for storing brushes. it’s clear jay has saved the best for last, and as you wander the aisles together, he shows you some of his favourites, his voice soft and reverent as he talks about the craftsmanship behind each item.

“i’ve always wanted one of these,” you say, running your fingers over a beautiful wooden palette, its smooth surface gleaming under the soft light. “it’s almost too nice to use.”

jay grins, standing beside you as he watches you admire it. “you should get it,” he says, his voice warm. “every artist needs something that feels special, something that inspires them to create.”

his words send a shiver through you, and you glance at him, the closeness between you suddenly palpable. the quiet intimacy of the moment, standing together in the softly lit store, surrounded by the tools of your shared passion, feels heavy with something unspoken. you nod, slipping the palette into your basket, trying to shake the fluttering in your chest.

as you leave the last shop, your arms full of bags and supplies, the sky opens up, releasing a sudden torrent of rain. the drops fall fast and heavy, soaking you within moments. you yelp in surprise, pulling your hood over your head, but it’s no use—you’re drenched almost immediately.

jay laughs, a rich sound that cuts through the noise of the rain. “looks like we’re in for it!” he shouts over the downpour, his hair already dripping wet as he holds a hand out to catch the rain.

you can’t help but laugh, your spirits lifting despite the sudden storm. the two of you stand in the rain for a moment, looking at each other, before jay suddenly grabs your hand.

“come on!” he says, pulling you into a run.

you follow him, laughing breathlessly as you race through the rain-soaked streets, splashing through puddles and dodging other passersby who huddle under umbrellas and awnings. the bags of art supplies jostle against your sides, but you barely notice, too caught up in the exhilaration of running with him through the storm.

the rain comes down harder, drenching you completely, your clothes clinging to your body and your hair sticking to your face. but none of it matters—you’re both laughing, the world around you a blur as you sprint through the narrow streets, your hand still held tightly in his.

jay pulls you into a narrow alleyway, ducking under a stone archway for shelter. it’s barely enough to shield you from the rain, but you’re both out of breath, giggling uncontrollably as you lean against the cold stone walls.

you’re both soaked, your clothes dripping water onto the ground, but the warmth between you is undeniable. jay’s hair is plastered to his forehead, droplets sliding down his face as he looks at you, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

you can feel the heat radiating from his body, even through the dampness of your clothes. you’re pressed so close to him in the narrow space that you can feel the tension building, the awareness of every inch of space between you—or rather, the lack of it.

jay’s laughter fades as his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the air between you shifts. his gaze softens, his usual playful demeanour replaced by something more serious, more intense. you’re both still, the rain beating down around you, but inside this tiny archway, it feels like time has slowed.

he reaches up, his fingers brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, and the simple gesture sends a shiver down your spine. his hand lingers by your cheek, and you can feel the warmth of his touch even through the coolness of the rain.

for a moment, neither of you say anything, the space between you heavy with everything that’s gone unsaid. you can feel your heart racing, your breath catching in your throat as his eyes drop to your lips for just a second, but it’s enough to make your pulse quicken.

then, without thinking, without hesitation, he leans in.

the kiss is slow at first—tentative, as though he’s testing the waters. his lips brush against yours softly, almost delicately, and for a moment, it feels like the world stops. the rain, the city, everything fades away, and all that exists is the warmth of his mouth on yours, the softness of his kiss.

your heart stutters, your body frozen for a split second before you kiss him back, your hands finding their way to his chest. the kiss deepens, and the tension that’s been building between you for weeks unravels in a rush of heat and longing. his hands slide to your waist, pulling you closer, and you respond in kind, pressing into him as though you can’t get close enough.

the rain falls around you, forgotten, as you lose yourself in the kiss. there’s a desperation to it, like neither of you knows when—or if—you’ll ever get this chance again. it’s intoxicating, overwhelming, and everything you’ve been holding back spills out in that single kiss.

when you finally pull away, breathless, jay rests his forehead against yours, his hands still holding you close as though he’s afraid to let go. you’re both panting, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath, but you can’t seem to move, can’t seem to break the connection between you.

the kiss lingers in the air, an invisible thread still tying you to jay even as the rain continues to fall. his forehead rests against yours, his breath shallow and quick, matching the erratic rhythm of your heart. for a moment, everything feels right, the world outside forgotten, the storm cocooning you in your own little universe.

but then something shifts. you feel it in the way his grip on your waist tightens briefly before loosening, in the way his eyes darken, filled with a sorrow that cuts through the joy of the moment.

he pulls back, just a fraction, enough to put space between you but not enough to break the connection entirely. his gaze drops to the ground, as though he can’t bear to meet your eyes.

“we… we can’t,” jay whispers, his voice heavy with regret.

the words hit you like cold water, the warmth of the kiss suddenly feeling distant. “what do you mean?” your voice is soft, confused, almost pleading. you take a step closer, unwilling to let him slip away. “jay, what are you saying?”

he sighs, running a hand through his damp hair, his shoulders tense. “you know what i mean,” he says quietly. “you’re a princess. you belong to a world of crowns and thrones, and i… i’m just your art teacher.”

you shake your head, the rain beginning to soak through your clothes, but you hardly notice. “i don’t care about that! my parents wouldn’t either. jay, this—this connection we have, it’s real. you can’t just pretend it isn’t.”

his eyes finally meet yours, and for a moment, you see the same longing reflected in them. but then he looks away again, his jaw tightening. “maybe your parents wouldn’t care, but i do. i won’t let you throw away your life for me. you have responsibilities, a future. i can’t be the reason you turn your back on all of that.”

your heart aches at his words, at the way he’s trying to protect you even as it tears you both apart. you reach for his hand, holding it tightly. “you’re not asking me to give anything up. i’m telling you what i want. you. you’re what i want, jay.”

he looks at your hand in his, and for a second, he doesn’t move, as though he’s frozen between what he wants and what he believes is right. “you don’t understand,” he says quietly. “you’re used to a life of luxury. i can’t give you that. i won’t let you settle for less.”

the frustration bubbles up inside you, mixing with the hurt. “it’s not about that. it never was. do you really think any of that matters to me if i’m not happy?”

jay’s gaze softens, but the doubt lingers in his eyes, a shadow of the barriers between you. “i need time,” he says, his voice pained. “i need to think about this.”

you bite your lip, the tears you’ve been holding back threatening to spill. “take all the time you need. just… don’t take too long. please.”

he nods, his face filled with a mix of guilt and sorrow. then, like the gentleman he is, he steps closer, offering you his arm. “let me take you home,” he says softly, his voice carrying a tenderness that only deepens the ache in your chest.

the walk back to the palace is quiet, both of you wrapped in your own thoughts, the sound of the rain the only noise between you. his arm around yours feels protective, grounding, but it’s bittersweet knowing that he’s still holding a part of himself back.

when you finally reach the palace gates, jay pauses, turning to face you. the light from the lanterns casts a soft glow over his features, and for a moment, it feels like time stands still.

“goodnight, princess,” he says, his voice gentle, though there’s an unmistakable distance in his tone now.

you look up at him, wanting to say something—anything—to make him stay, to convince him that this is worth fighting for. but the words stick in your throat. instead, you nod, forcing a small smile despite the heaviness in your heart.

“goodnight, jay.”

he gives you a final, lingering glance before turning and walking away, the rain continuing to fall as his figure disappears into the night. you stand there for a long time, watching him go, your heart aching with every step he takes.

as you finally turn and walk inside, the warmth of the palace feels stifling compared to the cool rain outside. the emptiness left in jay’s wake presses down on you, and the realisation that you might not see him again for a while hits you like a blow.

in the days that follow, the quiet is suffocating. you try to fill your time with painting, with other lessons and royal duties, but nothing seems to lift the weight pressing on your chest. each moment stretches on, and the palace, usually filled with the comfort of familiarity, now feels hollow without him.

your parents notice your change in mood but don’t pry, their knowing glances suggesting they’re aware that something more than art is on your mind. still, you keep jay’s name on the tip of your tongue, unable to speak it without feeling the ache of uncertainty.

and so, you wait. you wait for a letter, for a word from him—anything to tell you that he hasn’t let go, that he’s still thinking about you as much as you are about him. but with each passing day, the silence only grows louder, the doubt harder to ignore.

what if he doesn’t come back? what if he decides you aren’t worth the risk?

the thought makes your heart tighten painfully. you sit in your art studio, staring at an unfinished painting, the brush limp in your hand, as you wonder if jay is fighting the same battle within himself.

it feels like an eternity has passed since that rainy day, since that kiss that felt like the world shifted. and now, all you can do is hope that he finds his way back to you before it’s too late.

the days stretch long and quiet after that night in the rain, and the distance between you and jay feels more unbearable with each passing moment. you keep replaying his words, the look in his eyes, the way he had kissed you—like he wanted to hold on forever but didn’t know if he should.

you throw yourself into your art, hoping the colours and brushstrokes will distract you from the weight of his absence. but the empty space he’s left behind is hard to ignore, especially as you finish the final piece you’d been working on for weeks—a vibrant painting of a parisian street, your future awaiting you there.

paris. the word itself sounds like a dream. the trip is supposed to happen soon—your long-awaited opportunity to study art in the heart of a city known for its creativity and beauty. it’s everything you’ve worked toward, yet now the thought of leaving without jay feels hollow.

what was once the pinnacle of your aspirations now feels incomplete. you had imagined this adventure, this new chapter of your life, and pictured jay being a part of it. but now, with his silence lingering between you, you’re uncertain of whether he’ll still be there when it begins.

sitting at your desk, you stare down at the blank parchment, the quill hovering in your hand. you haven’t spoken to jay since he walked away that night, but you can’t bear to leave for paris without reaching out, without giving him one last chance to understand how much he means to you.

the words come slowly at first, but then they start to pour out, your emotions and thoughts spilling onto the page.

dear jay, it feels strange writing to you after all this time—after all the moments we shared that now seem so far away. i’ve been thinking about what you said that night, about how we come from different worlds, about the future you think i deserve. but you need to know that none of it matters to me if you’re not a part of it. i’ve wanted this trip to paris for as long as i can remember, to learn from the best, to immerse myself in art and culture. it’s something i’ve dreamed about for years. and yet, now, as the day of my departure gets closer, all i can think about is you. i don’t want to go to paris and leave you behind, wondering what could have been. you’re as much a part of my passion for art as any paintbrush or canvas. you’ve shown me new ways to see the world, to express myself, and i’ll always be grateful for that. but more than that, you’ve become someone i can’t imagine my life without. i know you think i’m giving up too much, that i’m risking my future. but my future isn’t just about royal duties or titles. it’s about choosing the life i want—and i choose you, jay. i wish you could see that. paris is calling, but so are you. i can only hope that when you think of me, it’s with the same longing that fills every moment of my days without you. i hope that when you think of our time together, you’ll realise that this isn’t about status or sacrifice—it’s about love. i’ll be leaving soon after my birthday, but before i go, i need to know: will you come with me? or will i have to leave you behind? with love, [your name]

after sealing the letter, your heart is heavy with both hope and fear. you send it to jay, knowing that the next move is his. each day that passes without a response stretches the wait longer, the ache of uncertainty growing.

you try to stay busy with preparations for your trip, packing supplies and finishing your artwork. your parents notice the change in you—the excitement for paris dimmed by something you can’t quite bring yourself to share with them yet. they ask if you’re nervous, if you’re ready for the adventure, and you smile, telling them what they want to hear. but deep down, all you want is to hear from jay.

paris is just around the corner, but so is the decision you’re waiting for—the choice that could change everything.

the ballroom is a swirl of colour and laughter, filled with nobles, artists, and well-wishers all gathered to celebrate your birthday. the chandeliers above glitter like stars, casting a golden glow over the elegant space, and the music weaves through the conversations like a living thing, light and joyous. your parents spared no expense for this occasion, not only to mark your birthday but also to celebrate the upcoming adventure to paris.

it’s your birthday ball, but your mind is elsewhere, your heart tugged toward a memory that refuses to leave. you stand in front of your painting, the centrepiece of the night, hanging proudly on display for all to see. nobles and artists alike gather around it, marvelling at the vivid colours and delicate brushstrokes. you nod and smile politely as they offer praise, but inside, your thoughts are distant, wandering to a day not long ago when everything felt simpler.

the painting is of the marketplace—a bustling, lively scene full of energy and warmth. it’s the day you and jay had gone shopping together for art supplies, the day you let yourselves be ordinary, blending in with the crowds. the colours are bright and rich, capturing the vibrant chaos of the market: vendors calling out, the smell of freshly baked bread, the sound of coins clinking and people bartering for goods. in the corner of the canvas, nestled in the shadows of an alley, is a small, quiet space. it’s where you and jay had shared a moment away from the crowd, a stolen minute of peace amidst the noise, where the world had seemed to slow just for the two of you.

every brushstroke is infused with that memory—the warmth of the sun on your skin, the soft brush of his hand as he reached for yours, the unspoken connection that had blossomed between you in that hidden corner of the market. it was a day that felt like freedom, a glimpse of something more, something forbidden but undeniably real.

“your highness, it’s simply breathtaking,” someone says beside you, pulling you momentarily back to the present. a noblewoman in an exquisite gown stands at your side, her eyes wide with admiration as she gazes at the painting. “the light, the detail… it feels as though i’m standing there in the market myself.”

you nod and smile, offering a polite thank you, but her words barely register. all you can think about is him.

the weight of his absence has been heavy, pulling at your heart with every passing day, each one more difficult than the last. and now, on the night of your birthday, as you prepare to embark on a new chapter, all you can think about is the chapter you left unfinished.

you glance at the painting again, tracing the familiar lines of the marketplace, the hidden alley. that was the moment you knew there was something between you and jay, something more than just student and teacher, more than just friendship. it was the moment you allowed yourself to hope. but now, standing here alone, you wonder if that hope was misplaced.

and then, through the hum of voices and the soft strains of music, you hear it—a voice that sends a jolt through your entire body.

“you captured it perfectly.”

the sound of his voice makes the air around you seem to freeze. your heart skips a beat, your breath catching in your throat. slowly, you turn toward the source, and there he is—jay, standing just a few steps away, his eyes locked on the painting, his expression a mixture of awe and something deeper, something raw.

for a moment, you’re not sure if you’re dreaming. after weeks of waiting, of wondering, here he is, standing before you, his presence filling the space that had felt so empty without him. he looks different tonight—still himself, but dressed in a way that blends with the formality of the event. yet, there’s something in his posture, in the way his dark eyes flicker between you and the painting, that betrays the turmoil he’s been carrying.

“jay,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. but he hears you, as he always does.

he takes a step closer, his gaze shifting to meet yours, and for a moment, the world around you disappears. the ballroom, the guests, the music—it all fades into the background, leaving only the two of you in this fragile, suspended moment.

his eyes soften as they take you in, and there’s a vulnerability in his expression that you hadn’t seen before, something that makes your heart ache even more. “you remembered,” he says quietly, gesturing toward the painting. “the marketplace. that day.”

you nod, your throat tightening. “how could i forget? it was…” you pause, searching for the right words, but nothing seems adequate. “it was perfect.”

jay’s gaze lingers on the painting, as though seeing the memory play out all over again. his lips part, but no words come. instead, he takes another step toward you, his presence so close now that you can feel the pull between you—the unspoken tension that had simmered just beneath the surface for so long.

“i’ve been thinking about that day,” he says, his voice low and rough. “about us.”

your heart hammers in your chest. “and?”

his eyes flicker with a mix of emotions—regret, longing, and something you can’t quite place. “i thought i could stay away. that it would be easier, safer, for both of us. but i couldn’t.” his voice wavers, just slightly, and the vulnerability in it makes your pulse race. “not tonight.”

you swallow, your chest tight with the weight of everything left unsaid. the distance between you feels unbearably small, but also impossibly vast. he’s here. after all this time, he’s finally here. but the question still lingers, heavy in the air between you: what happens now?

just as you open your mouth to speak, to ask the questions that have been burning inside you for weeks, jay steps closer, his eyes locked on yours. the noise of the ballroom fades even further into the background, until all that’s left is him. and in that moment, with his gaze so full of emotion, you know that nothing has been forgotten. every stolen glance, every brush of hands, every whispered word—it’s all still there, between you, as real and undeniable as ever.

the night may be full of celebrations, but the only thing that matters is this: jay is here, and nothing will ever be the same again.

the grand ballroom continues to pulse with life around you, but the world feels quiet in the cocoon of jay’s presence. you haven’t even fully processed the fact that he’s here, standing in front of you after weeks of silence. his eyes—deep and full of an emotion you’ve longed to see—are fixed on you, as though he’s drinking in the sight of you, afraid to blink in case you disappear.

the weight of his absence, the unanswered letter, the uncertainty—it all rushes to the surface, but you force yourself to stay grounded in the moment. you open your mouth to speak, to ask the questions burning in your chest, but before you can, jay takes a step closer.

“you never stopped painting,” he says quietly, nodding toward the marketplace painting, his voice filled with a mix of awe and relief. “you’ve grown even more since i left.”

his words are a gentle balm to the ache in your heart, but they only skim the surface of what you truly want to know. you swallow hard, the emotions too thick in your throat to speak.

your breath hitches. “why didn’t you respond to my letter, jay?”

there’s a beat of silence before he looks away, the rawness of his feelings flickering across his face. “because i didn’t know if i was strong enough to walk away again,” he admits. “and i wasn’t sure if i could give you the life you deserve.”

“after everything we’ve been through, you still think i care about that?” you whisper, your voice trembling with the weight of all the unspoken words. “i just wanted you, jay. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.”

his jaw tightens, and he takes another step forward, closing the distance between you until his presence is overwhelming. “i couldn’t respond, because i knew that if i did, i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from coming back to you. and once i did, i’d never want to leave. but you… you have paris, you have a future.”

“and i want you to be part of that future,” you say, your voice stronger now. “i’ve had weeks to think about this, jay. i’m leaving soon, and i need to know where we stand before i go. please, just tell me how you feel.”

jay’s eyes flash with a storm of emotions—hesitation, fear, and something deeper, something that has been bubbling just beneath the surface. he reaches out slowly, his fingers brushing yours, the touch sending warmth rushing up your arm. “i’m terrified,” he admits in a voice so soft it makes your heart ache. “i’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and i don’t want to ruin it.”

“you won’t,” you say, stepping closer until your hands are fully entwined, your pulse quickening as his warmth floods your senses. “i don’t care about titles, status, or what anyone else thinks. you make me feel alive, jay. that’s all i need.”

his grip tightens on your hand, and for a moment, it seems like he’s grappling with the depth of what you’re offering. his breath comes in shallow, uneven bursts, as though he’s trying to hold himself together.

“i don’t want you to sacrifice everything for me,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “you’re a princess, destined for greatness, for a life most people can only dream of. i’m just... a man who paints.”

you step even closer, until there’s barely any space between you. “and that’s enough for me. more than enough.”

for a split second, he looks at you as though he can’t believe you’re real. but then, before you can say anything more, he steps forward, pulling you into his arms in one swift motion. the warmth of his body against yours is overwhelming, but in the best way, and as his arms wrap around you, holding you tightly, you feel the tension that’s been building between you melt away.

“i’m so sorry,” he whispers, his breath warm against your ear as he holds you close. “for leaving. for making you wait.”

you close your eyes, leaning into him, your heart swelling with the relief of finally having him here. “you’re here now,” you murmur against his shoulder. “that’s all that matters.”

he pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands resting gently on your arms as his dark eyes meet yours. and in them, you see everything—the love he’s been holding back, the fear, the hope. “i love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “i’ve loved you since the first day we met, and i’ve been fighting it ever since. but i don’t want to fight it anymore.”

your heart swells at his words, the weight of them settling deep in your chest. “i love you, too,” you whisper, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you as you say the words out loud for the first time. “i always have.”

the smile that spreads across jay’s face is like sunlight breaking through clouds, and before you know it, he’s lifting you off the ground, spinning you around in a burst of joy and laughter. the world around you spins with him, but you don’t care—because for the first time in what feels like forever, everything is right. everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be.

when he finally sets you back down, your feet touching the ground once more, his hands stay on your waist, grounding you in the moment. his eyes, full of love and warmth, search yours, and for a second, neither of you speak. you don’t need to. the silence is filled with everything you’ve both been waiting for.

“i want to be with you,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “but i don’t want you to lose yourself for me.”

you smile, shaking your head. “i’m not losing anything. i’m gaining everything i’ve ever wanted.”

jay’s hand finds yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he looks at you, his gaze full of the future. “paris,” he says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “you’re still going?”

you nod, your heart racing at the thought of what’s to come. “i am. and i want you to come with me.”

he hesitates, just for a moment, as though the reality of what you’re asking is still sinking in. but then, his smile grows, and he nods, his grip on your hand tightening just slightly. “i’ll come with you. we’ll go together.”

your heart leaps at his words, the hope you’d been holding onto finally blossoming into something real. paris—together. it’s everything you’d dreamed of, everything you hadn’t dared to believe could happen. but now, standing here with jay, it’s all within reach.

“we’ll see the world,” he says, his voice soft but filled with excitement. “we’ll paint, we’ll live, we’ll—”

“we’ll be happy,” you finish for him, your smile widening as you lean into his touch.

he nods, his forehead resting gently against yours. “yes. we’ll be happy.”

and in that moment, as the ballroom buzzes with life around you, as the painting of your shared memory hangs on the wall behind you, you know it’s true. you and jay—together, free, and full of love. the world is yours, waiting to be explored. and with him by your side, you know that this is only the beginning.

as you stand there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the future stretches out before you like a blank canvas, waiting for you to fill it with all the colours of your love, your passion, and the adventures you’ll share. together, you’ll paint a life full of beauty, one brushstroke at a time.

and as the night fades and the dawn of a new chapter begins, you know—this is your happily ever after.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

taglist: @punchbug9-blog @firstclassjaylee @capri-cuntz @addictedtohobi @jaysfavoritegirl @yuniesluv @isa942572 @academiq @missychief1404 //the ones in bold could not be tagged for some reason. im so sorry guys tumblr is acting up :(

[astrologydray]

Saturn through the degrees 🪐🪐

🪐Saturn represents discipline, structure, responsibility, karma, and life lessons. The degree it occupies in your natal chart refines how you experience challenges, maturity, and long-term success.

0° Saturn – The Pure Authority

• Born with a strong sense of duty and leadership.

• Challenges arise early, but rewards come with patience.

1° Saturn – The Determined Initiator

• Takes responsibility seriously but may struggle with self-doubt.

• Must develop confidence in their abilities.

2° Saturn – The Stable Builder

• Creates long-lasting success through steady effort.

• Struggles with perfectionism but thrives in practical work.

3° Saturn – The Communicative Mentor

• Learns and teaches through spoken or written word.

• Must overcome fear of expressing authority.

4° Saturn – The Structured Traditionalist

• Highly disciplined and prefers tradition over change.

• Finds success in law, government, or stability-focused careers.

5° Saturn – The Confident Creator

• Can become a powerful leader, but needs self-trust.

• Struggles with balancing authority and flexibility.

6° Saturn – The Relationship Balancer

• Life lessons come through commitment, partnerships, and fairness.

• Can be overly cautious in love and business.

7° Saturn – The Mystic Realist

• Struggles between spirituality and realism.

• Finds discipline through philosophy, esoteric studies, or science.

8° Saturn – The Strategic Powerhouse

• Gains success through strategy, patience, and resilience.

• Must avoid controlling tendencies.

9° Saturn – The Expansive Teacher

• Learns through life experiences and global perspectives.

• Can feel restricted but eventually gains wisdom through travel or philosophy.

10° Saturn – The Manifestation Master

• Has a natural ability to turn visions into reality.

• Success comes from long-term planning and perseverance.

11° Saturn – The Revolutionary Authority

• Struggles with rules but eventually creates new systems.

• Can bring innovation into traditional structures.

12° Saturn – The Dreamy Worker

• A mix of practicality and creativity, needs discipline to ground dreams.

• May struggle with self-doubt or escapism.

13° Saturn – The Fearless Decision-Maker

• Gains strength through resolute choices.

• Must learn to trust instincts and avoid hesitation.

14° Saturn – The Balance Seeker

• Challenges arise in finding equilibrium between work and personal life.

• Can become an excellent mediator or peacemaker.

15° Saturn – The Legacy Builder

• Naturally drawn to leaving a mark on the world.

• Must embrace responsibility and avoid fear of failure.

16° Saturn – The Wise Guide

• Life lessons push them toward mentorship, coaching, or teaching.

• May experience early hardships that shape wisdom.

17° Saturn – The Fearless Worker

• Has strong work ethic but struggles with overworking or burnout.

• Must learn to delegate and balance effort with rest.

18° Saturn – The Deep Thinker

• Drawn to psychology, philosophy, or investigative fields.

• May struggle with rigid thinking or emotional suppression.

19° Saturn – The Bold Risk-Taker

• Learns through trial and error, often facing big life lessons.

• Gains strength through calculated risk-taking.

20° Saturn – The Patient Master

• Success is delayed but deeply rewarding.

• Must embrace delayed gratification and persistence.

21° Saturn – The Public Figure

• Challenges come through fame, public recognition, or societal roles.

• Must learn to balance personal integrity with external expectations.

22° Saturn – The Master Builder (Karmic Degree)

• Highly karmic placement, linked to great achievements or downfall.

• Requires extreme discipline, focus, and integrity.

23° Saturn – The Strategic Risk-Taker

• Learns when to push forward and when to retreat.

• Can be very calculated in business, finances, or leadership.

24° Saturn – The Romantic Realist

• Life lessons often involve love, creativity, or beauty.

• Must balance idealism with practicality.

25° Saturn – The Spiritual Worker

• Gains wisdom through spiritual studies, healing, or devotion.

• Needs structure to ground spiritual growth.

26° Saturn – The Reserved Strategist

• Prefers to work behind the scenes rather than be in the spotlight.

• Success comes through long-term planning and steady execution.

27° Saturn – The Karmic Healer

• Deeply tied to ancestral karma and healing generational wounds.

• Can become a great mentor, therapist, or spiritual guide.

28° Saturn – The Bold Traditionalist

• Faces power struggles with authority but ultimately becomes a leader.

• Can challenge old systems or reinforce them in a more evolved way.

29° Saturn – The Fated Leader (Anaretic Degree)

• Intensely karmic, often signaling a life of heavy responsibility.

• May feel like they are “tested” more than others.

• Must embrace maturity, responsibility, and resilience to succeed.

[honey-bitch]

★⋆ Astrology Observations (Lilith Edition)⋆ ★

Lilith (black moon Lilith) is representative of Lilith, Adam's first wife in mythology. She refused to submit to Adam and therefore was cast away from heaven. She represents our shadow self what we repress and hide but is our ultimate power. Lilith in Aries - Fiercely independent, strong-willed, and refuses to be controlled -Rejects authority and thrives on personal freedom -They be insecure about their sense of self and may go to extremes to prove their identity Lilith in Taurus - Deeply sensual, drawn to physical pleasure and indulgence. -Struggles with attachment to material possessions or stability. -May resist societal expectations around beauty and self-worth. - May overindulge in luxuries and become lazy. Lilith in Gemini -A master of words, seduction through intellect, and questioning societal norms. - Can feel silenced or struggle with duality in self-expression. - Might reject conventional education or traditional ways of thinking. - This could also indicate troubles with siblings. Lilith in Cancer -Deep emotional intensity, challenging traditional family roles. - Struggles with feeling nurtured or safe, often rejecting dependence on others. -May have a complicated relationship with motherhood, family, or home life.

Lilith in Leo -A rebellious performer, naturally magnetic but refuses to conform. -Struggles with ego, validation, or the need to be recognized. -Can reject traditional ideas of success and embrace their own unique path. - Might have felt looked over and ignored, desired notoriety. Lilith in Virgo -Rejects societal pressures for perfection and order. -Can struggle with anxiety, self-criticism, or rigid expectations. -May embrace alternative healing, sexuality, or spirituality to break free from control. - Shame in cleanliness, might feel 'dirty'. Lilith in Libra - Challenges traditional relationship norms, refuses to be “owned” by a partner. -Can struggle with balancing independence and intimacy. -May use charm and beauty as a tool for rebellion. - Tendency to have forbidden thoughts and is more likely to engage in taboo relationships. Lilith in Scorpio -Embodies deep sexual power, mystery, and transformation. -Unafraid of taboo topics, death, and rebirth. -Can struggle with power struggles, obsession, or manipulation. - Deep sense of loss of power, these people crave to control and dominate. Lilith in Sagittarius -Fiercely free-spirited, rejects societal restrictions on beliefs and travel. -Struggles with commitment and being tied down. -Can be drawn to forbidden knowledge, philosophy, and spiritual rebellion. - Might feel misunderstood by family, might not resonate with religion. Lilith in Capricorn - Defies authority, corporate structures, and traditional success models. -May struggle with control issues or rejecting responsibility. -Can be a powerhouse when embracing their own rules for success. -Might have been put down for their ambition, they have the power to rise to the top and become the best Lilith in Aquarius -A true revolutionary, challenges norms and embraces eccentricity. -Struggles with feeling like an outsider or rejecting belonging. -Can be a genius when breaking boundaries in technology, art, or activism. Lilith in Pisces - Rejects religious or spiritual dogma, drawn to mystical or altered states. -Struggles with escapism, addiction, or losing themselves in dreams. -Can harness immense creative and intuitive power when grounded.

[astrojulia]

Your Relationship to the Past and the Collective

Navigation:   Masterlist✦Ask Rules✦Feedback Tips

       Askbox✦Sources✦Paid Readings

The Moon's placement reflects our emotional connection to history, tradition, and the collective consciousness. It reveals how we process cultural inheritance and navigate the tension between individuality and societal conditioning.

Moon in Aries

You strive to distinguish your personal identity from cultural conditioning, seeking to define your choices independently of inherited traditions. This placement encourages boldness and a pioneering attitude when breaking away from the past. While rejecting or ignoring the past, you may unconsciously remain influenced by it. A lack of awareness about these hidden influences can lead to impulsive decisions shaped by subconscious patterns.

Moon in Taurus

You value and respect cultural heritage, especially natural and enduring structures. To you, the past offers nurturing and stability, and you often seek to conserve what is meaningful and timeless. Attachment to tradition can make you resistant to change, overly reliant on established ways, or closed-minded to new perspectives. Your reverence for "how things have always been done" may hinder adaptability.

Moon in Gemini

Curious and mentally agile, you engage with historical and cultural details, finding ways to connect lessons from the past to the present. Your approach is thoughtful yet lighthearted, appreciating diverse viewpoints. You may dismiss traditions and cultural norms as irrelevant, rebelling when they are imposed on you. This tendency can make it difficult to anchor yourself within a shared historical or cultural framework.

Moon in Cancer

Emotionally attuned to your heritage, you cherish the bonds of family, community, and tradition. Your sense of rootedness fosters an intuitive connection to the collective consciousness, and you have a natural affinity for nurturing cultural continuity. Your emotional ties to the past may trap you, making it hard to establish independent values. Susceptibility to collective or occult influences can lead to an overreliance on external validation or outdated ideals.

Moon in Leo

With a creative flair, you draw inspiration from cultural imagery and traditions. You express loyalty to your heritage while adding your unique touch, often celebrating your roots with pride. Your romanticized view of the past can lead to rigid or exclusionary attitudes, making you prejudiced against other cultures. An overemphasis on cultural superiority may create barriers to embracing diversity.

Moon in Virgo

You approach cultural traditions with a practical mindset, seeking to extract useful lessons from history. This placement enables you to analyze the past with precision and incorporate its values into everyday life. You may become overly critical of cultural deviations or idealize the past, clinging to conventions as a standard for perfection. This can lead to judgmental attitudes or difficulty adapting to evolving social norms.

Moon in Libra

Drawn to traditions that promote harmony and fairness, you appreciate cultural norms that foster social connections. Your values often align with ideals of justice, diplomacy, and balance within the collective. You risk losing your individuality by conforming too closely to cultural expectations. To assert your independence, you may feel the need to completely break away from inherited values.

Moon in Scorpio

Deeply intuitive, you have a profound connection to collective consciousness and can imbue cultural symbols with emotional intensity. This placement allows you to explore the transformative aspects of shared experiences. An obsession with the darker facets of culture and history can lead to glorification of power or submission to controlling influences, including occult forces. You may struggle with releasing emotional ties to destructive traditions.

Moon in Sagittarius

You are driven to understand cultural heritage and place the present within a broader historical context. Open to exploring philosophies and belief systems, you often find meaning through global or universal narratives. A tendency toward ethnocentrism or conventional thinking may cause you to defend the status quo against necessary change. You may resist challenges to institutional or cultural traditions.

Moon in Capricorn

You excel at organizing cultural inheritance into frameworks that provide structure and purpose. This placement aligns well with societal elements like governance, tradition, and historical legacy. Rigid views about societal norms and cultural superiority can limit your adaptability. A lack of intuitive connection to collective energies may create blind spots regarding emotional undercurrents in society.

Moon in Aquarius

You distill the higher ideals from collective experiences, focusing on progressive advancement and humanitarian goals. Your loyalty lies with the collective's well-being and its future evolution. Rebellion against traditional values may cause you to reject cultural wisdom outright. This tendency can isolate you from meaningful aspects of collective experience.

Moon in Pisces

With deep attunement to collective energies, you embrace universal compassion and cultural diversity. Your affinity for spiritual and religious heritage allows you to find unity among different traditions. Over-romanticization of the past or blind acceptance of collective conditioning can cloud your judgment. This placement may also open you to manipulation or the fabrication of narratives that serve personal agendas

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[kiapet2]

Alright, it’s less than a week since the Owl House finale aired and as expected I’ve already seen two direct comparisons to Steven Universe’s ending and several more vague-blogs, because one of this site’s hobbies is using other queer shows to put down Steven Universe. So let’s do this, then. Let’s compare the endings of Owl House and Steven Universe, and what each is ultimately trying to say.

Steven Universe and the Owl House are both shows that deal heavily with the clash of individualism and self-expression vs. socially-mandated conformity, and both shows’ final villains ultimately embody this conflict. One major difference, however, is that Owl House approaches this from the perspective of legal/societal structures, while Steven Universe approaches it from the perspective of family structures.

Steven Universe has always been about family--and particularly the ways traumas and biases are passed down through a family--and it has always heavily used the language of metaphor to discuss these topics. The Diamonds are the ultimate extension of this theme, something a lot of bad-faith (or just bad) takes on the ending miss; they interpret the diamonds in their literal capacity as dictators, rather than the way Steven Universe always portrays them, which is as matriarchs, i.e. the heads of a family who dictate and control all the family’s other members. This metaphor becomes more and more blatant until it outright becomes text, with the Diamonds turning out to be Steven’s literal family members, with whom his part of the family is estranged because of their previous controlling behavior.

In accordance with this theme, we ultimately find out that the Diamonds’ toxic ideology, with its rigid standards of perfection, are not only something they enforce on the gems below them, but also on themselves. They are suffering from the system in their own ways, unable to live up to the standards they themselves created. And who among us hasn’t known someone like that? A parent or grandparent who grew up under a cruel, oppressive worldview, and instead of rebelling against it internalized it--who turned around and said “I dealt with this, and so can you”? And so the ending of Steven Universe is the Diamonds realizing exactly how toxic the rigid ideology they’ve spent their lives perpetuating really is, and confronting the fact that their adherence to this ideology is what destroyed their relationship with Pink, and that the only way they’re going to have a relationship with Steven is if they’re willing to commit to changing both themselves, and the family structure they’ve enforced for so long.

Emperor Belos, in contrast, is not suffering from the structures he created, because his rules were never meant to apply to him. He sees the witches (and demons, and so-on) as lesser beings, evil beings, who exist to be controlled, and ultimately, exterminated. And every element of the society he built--the schools, the government, the police force, the religion--he intentionally constructed to keep these lesser beings under his control. The real-world allegory isn’t hard to see, here. And because what Belos represents in the story is, in fact, a fascist leader, the story shows that he can’t be reasoned with in any way that matters, and instead he is ultimately ground into paste beneath the boots of the people he sought to destroy. Different themes, different endings.

Now the usual argument that comes up here is as follows: but the Steven Universe ending isn’t as realistic! Not everyone is going to change, not everyone is going to be able to be reasoned with. Not every older, conservative family member is eventually going to accept you for who you are. And while that is true, ultimately SU isn’t meant to be realistic; it’s meant to be a power fantasy. Rebecca Sugar has come out and said before that they wrote a world in which there was good in everyone, because that’s the way she wishes the world could be. That’s the world they want to be able to believe in. And I am never going to begrudge a person, much less a queer person, for finding healing in writing that kind of world.

But you know what else is unrealistic? What else is ultimately just a fantasy? Grinding your government’s fascist leader into paste under your boot, then taking over and remaking society into something that accepts everyone. Sadly, Trump is not likely to get his ass beat any time soon. And more generally, punching fascists, while ideologically sound, is something most people are not going to get to do, due to real-world consequences such as “getting beat up by the fascist’s angry friends” and “being arrested for assault”. And even if you did depose one leader, our very society is set up in a way that perpetuates all manner of injustices, and systemic change is a complex and lengthy process that almost certainly won’t be completed in our lifetimes. But it’s fun to imagine we could, isn’t it?

Both endings are power fantasies. Both show the way they want the world to be, rather than the way it is. They are very different power fantasies, which fill very different--and at times conflicting--needs. And in situations like that, internet culture really likes to pick one to be the right fantasy, the right way to look at the world. 

But the truth is, both fantasies are needed! Some people need stories about your queerphobic relatives finally realizing the error of their ways and taking the necessary steps to accept and reconcile with you. And some people need stories where you get to grind fascist bastards beneath the heel of your boot. It’s okay if you prefer one type of fantasy over the other! But in the end, both are valuable, and both are important. 

And isn’t it wonderful, for us to have such a diversity of great queer stories? That we can explore both of these deep, conflicting needs? Let’s appreciate each of these fantastic works for what it was meant to be, rather than trying to pit them against each other or make them conform to a single, “best” way to tell a story.

[criticalcrusherbot]

Fizzmodeus and Stolitz: Foils Through the Lens of Social Justice and Class Consciousness in Helluva Boss

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

Helluva Boss transcends its chaotic and emotionally charged exterior to serve as a nuanced exploration of social justice and class consciousness, particularly through its central relationships. Two of the most compelling dynamics, Fizzmodeus (Fizzarolli and Asmodeus) and Stolitz (Stolas and Blitzø), operate as narrative foils, offering contrasting perspectives on power, class, and love within the Hellaverse. Examined through the lens of social justice, these relationships reveal broader themes of privilege, exploitation, and the intricate struggle for authentic connection in a deeply stratified societal framework.

Fizzmodeus: Equality and Agency in a Hierarchical World

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus represent a rare depiction of a loving and mutually respectful relationship within the Hellaverse. Despite their significant power disparity—Asmodeus being one of the Seven Deadly Sins and Fizzarolli, an imp entertainer from one of Hell’s lowest social classes—their dynamic is built on equality, agency, and mutual care. This subversion of Hell’s rigid hierarchical norms, where relationships are often dictated by status and power imbalances, stands out as both refreshing and deeply meaningful.

Asmodeus, as the embodiment of Lust, occupies a position of immense power and could easily exploit those beneath him, particularly within Hell’s rigidly hierarchical system. However, his affection for Fizzarolli is both genuine and free of coercion, subverting expectations of dominance often tied to his station. Fizzarolli, despite his physical disabilities and marginalized status as an imp, is treated as an equal, his agency fully intact. By refusing to wield his power in exploitative ways, Asmodeus challenges traditional dynamics of dominance and submission, aligning their relationship with feminist principles of mutual respect and equitable partnership. Their bond offers a radical reimagining of love and respect within a system explicitly designed to reinforce inequality, demonstrating that true connection transcends structures of oppression.

Fizzmodeus also challenges the Hellaverse’s pervasive commodification of relationships. In a world where lust is largely transactional and objectifying, their bond defies these societal expectations by embodying genuine connection and mutual care. Asmodeus does not treat Fizzarolli as a commodity but values him as an equal partner. This subtle yet profound rejection of Hell’s norms positions their relationship as a vision of what love could aspire to be in a more just and equitable society.

Stolitz: Exploitation and the Burden of Class Consciousness

In stark contrast, Stolas and Blitzø’s relationship is defined by power imbalances, miscommunication, and the baggage of their respective class positions. Stolas, a Goetia prince, occupies one of the highest rungs of Hell’s rigid hierarchy. Blitzø, an imp, exists at the very bottom. Their dynamic is steeped in the systemic inequalities that plague Hell: Stolas holds financial, magical, and social power, while Blitzø relies on him for access to the grimoire, his livelihood as an assassin, and a sense of validation.

Stolitz reflects the complexities of relationships shaped by class disparities. While Stolas harbors genuine feelings for Blitzø, his initial proposal of a transactional arrangement—offering Blitzø the grimoire in exchange for sex—casts a long shadow over their bond. Blitzø’s struggle with self-worth and fear of intimacy further complicates their relationship, making it difficult for him to see Stolas’s love as anything other than another form of exploitation. Where Fizzmodeus represents an ideal of equality, Stolitz is steeped in the messy, painful reality of navigating a world where love is often tainted by power dynamics.

Foils in Action: Love as Resistance vs. Love as Struggle

From a class-conscious perspective, Stolitz critiques the idea that love alone can transcend systemic inequality. Stolas’s privilege often blinds him to how his actions unintentionally reinforce the power dynamics that oppress Blitzø, while Blitzø’s trauma and lower social status make it nearly impossible for him to fully trust Stolas’s intentions. Blitzø also struggles to separate the oppressive system from Stolas as an individual, interpreting even well-meaning gestures through the lens of microaggressions tied to their class disparity.

However, recent developments—particularly following Mastermind—have shown Stolitz growing more emotionally warm and supportive, with Blitzø beginning to extend genuine care toward Stolas. Although the systemic power imbalance between Stolitz remains largely unexamined, Vivziepop and her team have demonstrated a willingness to tackle these themes over time.

Nevertheless, this progress in their personal dynamic contrasts sharply with the depiction of Asmodeus in the same episode, who failed to take meaningful action during Blitzø’s sham trial for using the grimoire, despite Fizzarolli’s desperate attempts to text him for help. This moment underscores a gap in Asmodeus’s willingness—or ability—to intervene in systemic injustices, even when the stakes are high for someone Fizz deeply cares about.

Potentially, if these roles were to subtly reverse, with Stolitz becoming increasingly nurturing while Fizzmodeus grows more complex, it could deepen the show’s exploration of class dynamics. Such a shift would highlight how power imbalances, even in loving relationships, require active engagement to address. While it’s unlikely that Fizzmodeus will become toxic or dissolve, introducing these challenges could serve as a poignant counterpoint to Stolitz’s gradual growth, further examining the broader societal forces shaping both pairs’ journeys.

The contrasting trajectories of these relationships suggest a deliberate effort to explore privilege, agency, and love within Hell’s oppressive structures, leaving room for richer narrative developments as the story unfolds.

Social Justice, Class, and the Bigger Picture

Through Fizzmodeus and Stolitz, Helluva Boss delves into the intersections of love, power, and class within a deeply stratified society. The show avoids easy answers or reductive moral lessons, instead embracing the complexities and contradictions of navigating connection in an unjust world. Fizzmodeus illustrates what love can achieve when systemic barriers are actively resisted, showcasing a relationship rooted in mutual respect and agency despite significant power disparities. Meanwhile, Stolitz highlights the challenges of addressing those same barriers, reminding us that dismantling inequality requires continuous effort and introspection.

Both relationships are essential to the Hellaverse’s narrative, offering contrasting perspectives on love in a system designed to enforce division. They compel viewers to critically examine how power dynamics influence relationships, emphasizing that love, like justice, demands reflection, accountability, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. Whether through the heartwarming equality of Fizzmodeus or the fraught but evolving struggles of Stolitz, Helluva Boss invites us to consider how we might navigate love and connection in a world that often seems determined to keep us apart.

[rholsof-film]

Krittika Queerness

While astrology, including the nakshatras, doesn’t explicitly label traits like queerness, certain archetypal themes and energies associated with nakshatras, including Krittika, can lend themselves to narratives of identity exploration, fluidity, and nonconformity. Krittika nakshatra, with its intense themes of transformation, individuality, and sharp discernment, can resonate with the experiences of queerness.

The knife representing Krittika, cuts through societal conventions and illusions, finding truth as that is the theme of the nakshatra itself. Krittika natives might be inclined to challenge traditional structures, roles, or norms, including those around gender and sexuality. This nakshatra empowers individuals to carve out their identity, even if it deviates from societal expectations.

Krittika is said to have a strong passion for the opposite gender BUT I have noticed that these natives also indulge in homo relationships. Or can have a passion for the same sex/ homo-erotic relationship. They are known for liberation in themselves and others, so this is just a small note that I noticed.

Jennifer’s Body (2009), pushed through boundaries of traditional femininity and sexuality, reflecting Krittika’s sharp and transformative nature. Jennifer’s character is unabashedly complex, embodying themes of fiery transformation, seduction, and defiance of norms. The underlying queer subtext, the homoerotic relationship between Jennifer and Needy adds layer of fluidity to her identity, resonating with Krittika’s bold and transformative energy.

*(Megan Fox, Krittika Sun)I was convinced she planned to eventually runaway with Needy. But in the end Needy ended up killing the band that sacrificed Jennifer. True love*

The Journey of self-discovery and authenticity is often central to queer experiences. Krittika natives, with their connection to the purifying fire of Agni, may undergo profound personal transformations to embrace their true identity. They can embody unapologetic individuality, embracing their uniqueness with confidence. This fiery assertiveness aligns with queer representation.

In Ballerina (2023), this individuality can be seen through characters who navigate complex emotional and identity-driven arcs with intensity and passion. The story aligns with themes of Krittika cutting through illusions and embracing a transformative journey. Avenging her friend’s death that she seemed to have a very queer coded relationship with. Honestly, their relationship was most definitely homoerotic, and I see a lot of Krittika natives in these types of roles.

*(Jeong Jong-Seo, Krittika moon) Anything for her femme girlfriend, she quite literally took out a gang for her, as she should*

Lady Bridgerton—played by miss Hannah Dodd is a very queer coded character, it’s not yet confirmed but it is said that in the book she falls in love with a woman. An if you are able to pick up on anything queer coded, you would have noticed the longing looks between her character and her husband’s sister. Their relationship is also canon, hopefully my predictions are true though.

*I knew Francesca Bridgerton (Hannah Dodd, Krittika Sun) was queer through just her body language*

The Confessions of Frannie Langton (2022), Sophie Cookson plays a lesbian that seduces Frannie Langton.

*Sophie Cookson (Krittika Sun) is a proclaimed lady kisser, spotted in more than one show/movie kissing girls. I love it*

I understand it has been discussed that Krittika is passionate about the other gender, but Agni is both destructive and creative, embodying dualities that mirror the complexities of queer identities. This fluidity can manifest as openness to exploring gender, relationships, and self-expression outside conventional binaries. Krittika’s ruling deity, Agni, represents transformative energy that transcends rigid structures, which aligns well with the spectrum of queerness.

*Cate Blanchett in Carol (2015), Krittika Sun*

While Krittika doesn’t inherently “cause” queerness, its themes of cutting through illusions, self-discovery, and transformative fire can resonate with queer narratives. It encourages individuals to live boldly and authentically, making it a natural nakshatra to connect with queer-coded or openly queer characters.

[astroeleanor]

The Four Zodiac Signs That Will Be REBORN in September 2024

LIBRA (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

During September, Venus conjuncts the South Node in Libra, bringing about:

• Opportunities to let go of outdated beliefs or attachments, particularly in the areas of relationships, self-worth, and personal values, leading to a sense of liberation.

• Reassessment of how you relate to others, potentially ending old relationship dynamics that are not beneficial. This can feel like a “rebirth” as new, healthier ways of connecting and creating balance are established in your life.

• A deeper exploration of your personal identity, beyond your relationships, redefining who you are independently of others.

• Find new equilibrium in your life, shedding what disrupts your inner peace and embracing what promotes balance.

• This conjunction might bring people or situations from the past back into your life for resolution. This could be an opportunity for closure, healing, and growth.

PISCES (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

The Lunar Eclipse in Pisces on September 17th and the transit of Saturn in Pisces might affect you in the following ways:

• Heightened emotional awareness, deep insights, and the potential for significant release or closure.

• Profound emotional release or awakening, letting go of past emotional wounds, illusions, or attachments.

• Closing of a significant chapter in your life, paving the way for new beginnings.

• Bringing form and structure to your dreams, spiritual practices, and emotional world.

• A strong emphasis on developing boundaries and self-discipline. You may be pushed to balance your compassionate, empathetic nature with the need to protect your energy and establish clearer boundaries.

• A reality check! You may have to confront your fears, illusions, or escapist tendencies. This confrontation can lead to a major personal transformation and a clearer, more realistic vision of your future.

VIRGO (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

With the New Moon in Virgo on Sep 2nd, Virgo Season, Mercury entering Virgo, and the opposition between transiting Sun and Mercury in Virgo and Saturn and Neptune in Pisces, you may experience:

• A powerful opportunity to initiate new projects, habits, or routines that are aligned with your goals for personal growth and improvement.

• A focus on self-improvement, clarity, and redefining your purpose, making it a perfect time for a personal "rebirth."

• An emphasis on rethinking and reevaluating your thoughts, communication style, and decision-making processes, refining your perspectives and adopting new ways of thinking.

• Confronting where you need to balance your desire for perfection with accepting life's imperfections and integrating more compassion & flexibility into your routines.

• Potential confusion or uncertainty but also the chance to clarify illusions or unrealistic expectations, seeing beyond your usual practical mindset and incorporating a more spiritual or imaginative perspective.

• Integrating more emotional intelligence, compassion, or spiritual awareness into your life, gaining a more holistic sense of yourself.

• Setting new health goals, establishing healthier habits, redefining your daily routine for greater well-being.

CAPRICORN (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

As Pluto makes its final entry into Capricorn for our lifetimes, you may experience:

• A culmination of the transformative energies Pluto has been bringing into your life since 2008, marking the end of a profound cycle of personal and collective transformation.

• Shedding outdated identities, roles, or structures that are outdated. This shedding process allows for the emergence of a renewed, more authentic version of yourself.

• Letting go of rigid beliefs, societal expectations, patterns of control.

• Becoming aware of deep-seated fears or traumas that need healing. This is a final call to confront and transform these issues.

• Reconstructing your personal and professional foundations, building them on more authentic & stable ground.

• Pluto’s energy is about power dynamics, both internal and external. There is an opportunity for you to reclaim or master your personal power, learning to wield it responsibly and effectively in your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

ASTROLOGY READINGS ARE OPEN!

Full Birth Chart, Soul mate Readings, Career Readings are available. There are limited spots for the month of September so grab yours now!

• 🗡️ TAP HERE TO BOOK A READING with me to navigate your life with more clarity & awareness.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[newbieecosocalistboy]

Radical feminisic core beliefs in the fictional culture of the Mandalorian People

The Mandalorian culture in both Disney and Legends canon can be interpreted as "radical feministic" in essence when viewed through the lens of specific radical feminist principles, particularly those centered on rejecting patriarchal norms, fostering egalitarianism, and valuing collective strength over traditional gender roles. Here's how this interpretation can be supported:

1 .Rejection of Gender Roles and Patriarchal Norms

Disney Canon:** In *The Mandalorian*, female warriors such as Bo-Katan Kryze and the Armorer hold leadership positions and are respected on equal footing with their male counterparts. The culture places no emphasis on traditional gender roles, showcasing men and women alike as warriors, leaders, and protectors of their people.

Legends Canon: Karen Traviss' *Republic Commando* novels expand on Mandalorian culture, emphasizing the practical, no-nonsense approach to gender. Women, like men, are trained as warriors from a young age. The culture prioritizes competence and contribution over biological or societal expectations tied to gender.

This aligns with radical feminism's critique of patriarchal gender constructs by showcasing a society where roles are based on merit and capability rather than gender.

2. Valuing Motherhood Without Exploitation

Mandalorian culture celebrates motherhood, but not in the patriarchal, exploitative sense that ties women's worth to reproductive roles. Instead, motherhood (and parenthood in general) is honored as an essential act of cultural preservation. The practice of adopting foundlings, irrespective of biological ties, reflects a communal approach to child-rearing that values nurturing as a collective responsibility.

This ties into radical feminist ideals by elevating the importance of caregiving without confining it to women or devaluing it as "unproductive labor."

3. Egalitarianism and Anti-Hierarchy

Mandalorian culture is often portrayed as decentralized, with clans and individuals having significant autonomy. Leadership, such as that of the Mand'alor, is based on merit and the ability to unify the people, rather than hereditary or hierarchical systems.

Radical feminism critiques hierarchical systems as inherently tied to patriarchal power structures. Mandalorian society’s rejection of rigid hierarchy and its emphasis on mutual respect and collective survival align with these values.

4. Focus on Strength and Solidarity

Mandalorians emphasize community and solidarity over individualism. Their creed prioritizes loyalty to the group, collective strength, and mutual aid, which are key principles of feminist and eco-socialist thinking.

In Legends, this is exemplified by the communal lifestyle of the Mandalorian clans, where resources and responsibilities are shared. In Disney canon, the adoption of foundlings reflects a commitment to care for the vulnerable as a collective duty, breaking the cycle of exploitation often seen in patriarchal systems.

5. Anti-Imperialism and Resistance to Oppression

Mandalorians have a long history of resisting imperialism, whether under the Republic, Empire, or other external forces. This mirrors radical feminism’s commitment to dismantling systems of domination and oppression. Their refusal to conform to external norms and their insistence on maintaining their culture and values resonate with feminist resistance to patriarchal imposition.

6. Empowered Female Leadership

Both canons prominently feature strong female leaders. Bo-Katan Kryze, Satine Kryze, and Ursa Wren are examples of women leading their people with agency and authority, free from patriarchal constraints.

Radical feminism seeks to dismantle the notion that leadership and power are inherently masculine traits. Mandalorian women’s leadership roles exemplify this rejection of patriarchal norms.

Caveats

While Mandalorian culture can be interpreted as embodying radical feminist principles, it is important to note:

The Mandalorians are also deeply martial and honor-driven, traits that could conflict with radical feminist critiques of militarism.

But the approach to see sex differences as fact but still honor them without hindering both sexes to become part of the leadership by merit is indeed in core identical to radical feministic view of biology-based sex-essentialism as fact with including dismantling patriarchy and promote egalitarianism and meritocracy

Conclusion

Mandalorian culture in Disney and Legends canon reflects radical feminist principles by rejecting traditional gender roles, emphasizing egalitarianism, honoring caregiving without exploitation, and fostering solidarity and resistance to domination. These elements align with the core radical feminist goal of dismantling patriarchal systems and creating societies based on mutual respect, equality, and collective well-being.

There are also Proverbs in canon which prove radical feminist approach on the gender equality despite factual approach on sex biological differences in universe, which proves the antipatriarchic structure of mandalorian Warrior Mentality, which can be confused with virtues of "masculinity", but count for both sexes in the mandalorian society:

“There is nothing a Mandalorian man fears more than a Mandalorian woman.” - old proverb, not Mandalorian in origin

“You piss off our men, you'll end up with a lot of dead soldiers and maybe a few damaged buildings. But you piss off our women and...well, you'll be feeling the side effects for years to come.” - Mandalore the Destined

“Mandalorian women are frightening. They're smart, angry, and can shoot better than most men. Mandalorian men are a force to be reckoned with. But Mandalorian women? They're a kriffing force of nature.” – Zakc Paxus, noted Mandalorian author

“Mandos don't get all mushy about love. No poetry, no creepy obsessions; either you love someone, or you don't. If you do, you marry 'em and fight alongside them for the rest of your life. If not, you just fight alongside them.” - Mandalore the Fair (first female Mandalore, named for her honorable ruling rather than her appearance)

“A Mandalorian woman's greatest talent is not her charm or beauty, but her strength of body and will.” - Mandalorian proverb

[omegaphilosophia]

The Philosophy of Satanism

The philosophy of Satanism, particularly in modern interpretations, is often grounded in individualism, self-empowerment, and a rejection of traditional religious dogma. There are various branches of Satanism, each with its own approach and interpretation. While early portrayals in history associated Satanism with anti-Christian and occultist ideas, contemporary movements largely emphasize philosophical, symbolic, and sometimes atheistic elements.

Core Branches of Satanism

LaVeyan Satanism: Founded by Anton LaVey in 1966, LaVeyan Satanism is one of the most well-known and structured forms. LaVey’s Satanic Bible outlines Satanism as an atheistic philosophy that emphasizes rational self-interest, individuality, and personal freedom. LaVeyan Satanism doesn’t worship a literal Satan but uses "Satan" as a symbol of rebellion against conformity, self-denial, and oppressive moral codes. Core principles include self-reliance, pursuit of pleasure, and rejection of guilt or shame for natural human desires.

Theistic Satanism: In contrast to LaVeyan Satanism, theistic Satanism involves the belief in and veneration of Satan as a deity or supernatural being. Followers may view Satan as a force representing wisdom, self-empowerment, or the spirit of rebellion against unjust authority. They typically emphasize spirituality, ritual, and a personalized relationship with their deity.

The Satanic Temple: Founded in 2013, The Satanic Temple is a non-theistic, socio-political organization that advocates for secularism, religious freedom, and separation of church and state. Its use of Satanic imagery and symbolism is often satirical, serving as a critique of authoritarianism, religious fundamentalism, and hypocrisy. The Satanic Temple’s guiding principles prioritize compassion, rational inquiry, and individual sovereignty.

Other Forms of Satanic Philosophy: Other branches, including Luciferianism, focus on the figure of Lucifer as a symbol of enlightenment, knowledge, and self-discovery. Unlike traditional Satanic archetypes, Luciferianism often associates Lucifer with wisdom, learning, and the search for truth.

Key Philosophical Concepts in Satanism

Individualism and Self-Empowerment: Many forms of Satanism prioritize the individual as the center of moral authority, encouraging followers to take personal responsibility and to live according to their own principles and desires. Self-reliance and self-empowerment are celebrated, often rejecting dependence on external authority for moral guidance.

Rebellion and Nonconformity: Satanism often embraces the symbol of Satan as a figure of rebellion against oppressive norms or restrictive moral frameworks. This aspect resonates with the desire for freedom from traditional dogmas and the encouragement to think critically and independently.

Pleasure and Self-Interest: Satanism frequently rejects asceticism and self-denial, advocating for the pursuit of pleasure, self-gratification, and enjoyment of life. This philosophy is rooted in a materialist understanding of existence, where one’s current life is seen as the primary focus rather than preparation for an afterlife.

Critical Thinking and Skepticism: Modern Satanism, especially within The Satanic Temple, emphasizes scientific skepticism and rationalism. It challenges superstitions, encourages questioning, and critiques traditional religious dogmas that demand faith without evidence.

Ethics and Morality: Satanic philosophies often propose alternative ethics rooted in individual responsibility rather than divine commands. LaVeyan Satanism’s “Nine Satanic Statements,” for instance, outline an ethos that prioritizes self-respect, personal boundaries, and retributive justice, but they reject traditional moral frameworks as rigid or unnatural.

Satanism in Cultural and Social Context

Satanism’s popularity and influence are, in part, responses to societal structures, particularly within heavily religious cultures. By challenging the norms, it presents a counterpoint to dominant religious narratives, emphasizing secularism and religious pluralism.

In modern contexts, Satanism also serves as a vehicle for social critique and protest. Organizations like The Satanic Temple advocate for political issues like freedom of expression and the separation of church and state, often using provocative imagery to challenge established social orders and protect minority rights.

Controversies and Misconceptions

Satanism often faces misunderstanding due to historical associations with evil and media portrayals of occult rituals. While some forms of Satanism are theistic, most modern movements are symbolic, emphasizing reason and autonomy rather than supernatural beliefs. Contemporary Satanists typically do not believe in or worship an actual Satan as defined in Christian theology.

Philosophical Influence and Modern Appeal

Satanism resonates with existentialist themes, particularly the focus on creating one’s own meaning in a seemingly indifferent universe. Its principles align with certain elements of Nietzschean philosophy, like the rejection of imposed moral codes and celebration of life and personal strength. It appeals to those who value self-expression, secularism, and an individual-centered approach to ethics.

Summary

Satanism, particularly in its modern forms, challenges traditional moral structures and advocates for individuality, self-empowerment, and a critical, skeptical outlook on life. It exists both as a personal philosophy and a social commentary, reshaping the symbol of Satan from a figure of evil to one of liberation, reason, and humanism.

[astrologydray]

🛸 What Aquarius Venus finds attractive in a partner 🛸

🛸 Aquarius Venus is drawn to people who are unapologetically themselves❤️.

🛸 They admire partners who stand out from the crowd and embrace their quirks and eccentricities.

🛸 They need a partner who can engage them in deep, thought-provoking conversations🧠.

🛸 Clinginess or dependence is a major turn-off.

🛸 A curious, open-minded, and intellectual partner is incredibly attracted to them.

🛸 Emotional neediness or dependency is a turn off for them👎🏾.

🛸 they are drawn to partners who have their own lives, passions, and goals🧘🏾.

🛸 Freedom is essential to Aquarius Venus

🛸 They are attracted to ppl who embrace progressive ideas, unconventional lifestyles, and diverse perspectives❤️.

🛸 A partner who is adventurous in their thinking is a perfect match.

🛸 Aquarius Venus often values a strong friendship as the foundation of their relationships⏳

🛸 Jealousy or possessiveness is a turn-off for them, they love their freedom😭.

🛸 They want a partner who feels like a true companion and confidant💕.

🛸 They love someone involved in unique hobbies or careers who are creative, innovative as well.

🛸 Traditional or overly rigid relationship structures are a turn-off for Aquarius Venus👎🏾.

🛸 They prefer a balanced, logical approach to emotions and relationships.🧠>❤️.

🛸 Someone who thinks ahead and have a vision for their lives, whether it’s about social causes, innovation, or personal goals is for them.

🛸 Someone who isn't afraid to challenge societal norms or question authority. A partner who shares their love for freedom and independency is ideal.

[nervouscheesecakeparadise]

These pages from Andrea Dworkin's Woman Hating continue her argument against the rigid male/female binary, expanding on the biological and social factors that challenge this categorization.

The core arguments presented include:

Challenging the Biological Basis of Sex: Dworkin presents several biological points to refute the idea of a clear-cut biological distinction between male and female.

Chromosomal and Gonadal Variations: The text highlights that chromosomal sex (XX or XY) is not the sole determinant of sex. There are other chromosomal formations, and gonadal sex (the development of ovaries or testes) can differ from chromosomal sex. This challenges the notion of a simple, consistent biological basis for sex.

Hormonal Fluctuations and Interplay: The text emphasizes that both men and women produce male and female hormones, and the amounts and proportions vary greatly. This hormonal interplay further complicates a simple male/female division. The example of testosterone metabolizing into estrogen, leading to breast development in males, is used to illustrate this point.

Visible Sex Differences are Not Discrete: Dworkin points out the wide variation in physical characteristics within each sex. Some men have small genitalia, some women have large breasts, and so on. This variability challenges the idea of distinct, easily identifiable physical markers for each sex.

Cross-Cultural Evidence Challenging the Binary: The text cites anthropological studies showing that in some cultures, there are minimal visible somatic differences between men and women. This evidence suggests that the perceived differences between sexes are not solely biologically determined but also influenced by cultural factors.

Societal Reinforcement of the Binary: The underlying message is that the rigid male/female binary is not simply a biological reality but a social construct reinforced by societal norms and expectations. The text implies that the insistence on a strict binary serves to maintain power imbalances and control over women. The discussion of societal responses to individuals who do not fit neatly into the binary reinforces this point.

Intersex Conditions: The text mentions hermaphroditism (now more accurately referred to as intersex conditions don't reffer to them as Hermaphrodites) in both humans and animals, further challenging the rigid binary. The skepticism of the medical profession regarding the existence of functional intersex in higher animals is presented as an example of the resistance to acknowledging biological variations that challenge the established binary.

In summary, these pages from Woman Hating build upon the previous sections by providing a more detailed biological and anthropological critique of the male/female binary.

Dworkin uses biological evidence and cross-cultural comparisons to argue that the rigid binary is a social construct, not a purely biological reality, and that maintaining this construct serves to reinforce patriarchal power structures and marginalize those who don't conform to the binary.

The focus is on dismantling the biological and social justifications for the rigid gender binary.

[snitchbo]

Hey thanks for doing that government analysis! Idk much abt government structure so writing around that was proving kinda difficult n your thing rlly helped

I do have a question though, if someone was planning on writing something that might poke some holes or point out flaws in the system, what do you think are some things that might be considered? And if those things were to be changed how do you think that might affect how the system works as a whole?

(ik for sure the way it works realistically doesnt particularly account for things outside of moving up, like disability, lack off skill or straight up disinterest. despite being a commune the general societal norm seems pretty individualistic, not to mention the dictator bordering on godlike despite their only requirement being "good at parkour" seems like itd be bound to cause problems; see: evil parkour champion and the glass legend, etc)

Thanks ^^

Hello tysm for the ask this message made my day! Id love to talk about this more!

My main gripe with the way Parkour Civilization government is structured is the rigid hierarchies, in a place where your skill level determines everything in life, you'd expect there be more room to grow and oppurtunities to ascend. Having the levels where everyone is surrounded by people of similar skill sets and pretty much never being able to experience what a higher skill set even looks like is just used to keep people in line with their groups and not know how to reach higher.

I think the overall idea of being divided based on merit is fine. it's the lack of intermingling or education about the other layers and how to get better that should be changed. I mean, as seen in the pro layer, people aimlessly build parkour courses to try and train for the master level, and they never quite get it.

The divided structure also easily makes room for classism, even if all layers were given the same food, materials, and housing, the fact the lower levels simply dont have access to basic knowledge about the extent of parkour (again, the thing their entire society is based off of) keeps them dumbed down, and hinders them from excelling, while the master level has access to the knowledge and practice of so much more parkour. The education difference makes an easy opening for classism and bullying to occur between layers ( which in Parkour Civilization, actually does happen as seen with how the pros treat the noobs, and how the masters even bully eachother based on how they parkour, which again is a sign of upbringing and education. )