#and really boring. and if im bored and dont care. it HURTS its SO HARD its PAINFUL to drag my brain through the mud to do it

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[nightmare8-420]

i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.

[natugood]

make it make sense that I enjoy doing my job (especially the tedious parts) when I am off the clock, but as soon as I am supposed to be working I'd rather be doing LITERALLY anything else????

[jeremiahthefroge]

Words can't describe how difficult it is to hold back from oretending to get all shy and ask "what are we" to my straight cis male friend who is now my manager at work while his gf is literally working at the register next to me. Like every single time he comes and gives me change for my drawer and he hands me the envelope I wanna be like "bro Matt what are we 😳🫣"

[fortunately-bi]

...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈

[swanshapedheart]

Poorlittlekoi’s statement

Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi

I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.

I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.

——————————————————-

“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.

all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.

im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.

many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved

am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.

when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.

now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.

so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change

when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.

its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.

people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.

i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like

this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”

[ultimateloserboy]

thinking about how red guy canonically has nightmares. and in the qna where this was confirmed he says he “wakes up from the boredom” but we all know that shit isnt true. in that same qna he says his favorite color is medium brown and tbh i just think he was bullshitting the whole time. i don’t believe a single word that man says. he described the nightmare so vividly, it seemed to really bother him and then he was all like “but i wake up cuz im bored lol” NO YOU FUCKING DONT. this really hurts me too because if i remember correctly his nightmares take place in the woods, and hes scared of owls. night time must be so fuckin hard for this guy. he must be terrified or at the very least alone with his depressing thoughts. but if the other two ask hes just “bored”. and even if on other two did comfort him, even if he let himself confide in them and admit he was scared, itd still be forgotten anyway. itll just happen again tomorrow. he must be so lonely in his room, even though he shares it.

anyway fluffybird artists you should draw red guy crying and sobbing and shitting himself at 2am because an owl is being loud in their backyard. yellow guy sleeps like hes dead, so the scream only wakes up duck, whos organs are promptly crushed by a guy twice his size squeezing him like a stress ball. Hes a bit upset about it but its not like he can move, and as long as it gets red guy to shut up and stop yowling like a hurt coyote so he can go back to sleep he really doesnt care

[luonae]

whew im finally done with my PL oc/custom eris i suppose. (well i wanted to draw him more but im bored) embarrassingly long post ahead so brace yourself

collection of his fits: (fun fact, all of them have a reference to milo somewhere like hearts, the cross earring M milo has, or just the letter M... also shaped like a heart)

he puts the war in wardrobe. (i couldnt stop myself from giving him multiple outfits since taking care of his looks is a pretty significant part of his character)

ok yapping time (even this is actually very condensed from what ive written):

- his favorite manipulation tactics involve shaming and guilt tripping. hes really subtle about them. also playing innocent

- he grew up with an alcoholic physically abusive father and was taught to play up his cuteness so his father would have a harder time lashing out at him and pity him, which is why he takes a lot of care of his appearance and looks. he weaponizes them and uses them as a defense mechanism too

- overconfident hedonist who fucks around and finds out lol. good at adapting to match other peoples energy and needs

- naturally book smart but not street smart. hes very well known in college for his consistently good grades. he uses his helplessness in daily situations to play the damsel in distress role (trust this guy to weaponize even his weakness)

- out of all the milos hes most similar to M milo (but hes actually introverted). his favorite milo would be pre though (he likes how miserable he looks and finds it endearing. also he likes cute things and bunnies and pre milo is the cutest to him... and the bunny one)

- if i had to liken him to any pre existing characters, the closest would be chae yul from secret alliance

- he doesnt care about 99% of things in life so its hard to see him stressed out. the only thing he cares about is milo. he thinks manipulating milo is okay because in the end milo will love him and be happy to be with him, and he will be happy to be with milo too, so its a win-win (dont mind the ethics of this logic)

- uses milo like a servant or a guard dog (v milo rejoice, youre perfect). hes really lazy and clumsy, bad at household chores. hes actually very protective of milo though. he may be bossy and manipulative towards him but if someone else hurts milo he will immediately take matters into his own hands. hes squeamish and weak to blood and gore (which would suck when hes with v milo) but he would definitely start maiming anyone who hurts milo (aside from himself lol)

- his best subject was math. his worst subject was history. his hobbies are mostly solitary activities like gaming, drawing, taking walks, and dancing

extras: he heard milo likes bunnies

and... while drawing all those colorful outfits i could only think of one thing...

(this would actually never happen because he would never apologize)

oh and i almost forgot to include these

ok last fun fact: his favorite endings would definitely be the killer (v) and arsonist (m) endings (very funny how in both of these he transforms milo into a national menace) but his least favorites would be kidnapped/taken (v) and walls (m). he would especially hate the walls one. milo get out!!!! he wants to see you!!!!!!!!

[rockermybuddie]

Misunderstanding

Tommy x Evan “Buck”

A/n: i write a lot of Tommy and Buck. Imma write something different. Eventually.

Summary: Its Bucks off day and he decided he was going to bake some cookies and bring them to Tommy at work. When he arrives he spots Tommy talking to someone hes never seen before. Hes about to walk over to his boyfriend when the man kisses Tommy. Buck stops and turns around walking away before seeing or hearing Tommys reaction.

————

~Bucks POV~

I feel Tommys lips on mine as he gives me a goodbye kiss. “See you later.” He whispers. I hear the bedroom door click shut and drift back into sleeping.

When i woke up i made me some oatmeal and watched an episode of The Bachelor. When i was done i was bored. Eddie went down to Texas to vist with Christopher. I’m glad the two are making mends, i know it hurt Eddie when Chris left to live with his grandparents in Texas.

Maddie and Chim are taking a short trip to Long Beach. And Hen and Karin are dealing with the foster people to get Nia. So im out of options when it comes to hanging out with someone.

I decided im going to bake some cookies for Tommy and his station, so i get to work. I’m going to make a variety and an allergy free batch.

Once i finished i put the cookies in some boxes and loaded them into my jeep. I didnt text Tommy that i was coming because i want it to be a surprise.

When i arrived i parked my jeep and grabbed the boxes of cookies with a big smile on my face. I walked into the station and scanned the area looking for Tommy.

“Looking for Tommy?” Someone asks. “Yes.” I answer. Everyone here knows who i am. “Hes upstairs in the kitchen.” The person says. “Thanks.” I smile and make my way up the stairs.

When i get to the top i turn the corner and see Tommy talking to someone i’ve never seen before. Hes tall and skinny but well built, he has short curly blonde hair. I cant tell what color his eyes are but the way he is looking at Tommy is making me uneasy and hes standing really close to Tommy. Tommy is leaning against the counter just keeping conversation.

I was about to say his name when the guy leans forwards giving Tommy a kiss. That was all i needed to see even though thats not what i wanted to see. My heart instantly sank and i turned away and got out of there as fast as i could.

I threw the boxes of cookies in the trunk not caring if they spilled out and drove out of there as fast as I could.

I drove to my apartment because i obviously didnt want to go back to Tommys bouse where i’ve been staying at most of the time anyways.

When i walked in it was kind of cold but it didn’t bother me because i was flamming with anger. I cant believe Tommy kissed another guy. I tried not to cry but it was too hard to hold back. I really thought he was the one, that he wouldnt cheat on me. I guess i was wrong.

——-

~Tommys POV~

Everything was going fine at work, had a few easy calls. We got a new person his name is Kaleb Green, great young kid. Hes been doing really good.

We were in the kitchen just talking about why we wanted to become a firefighter and the craziest calls we have ever been on.

“So is your locker the one with the gay pride flag on it?” He asks me. “Yes?” I answer carefully. I dont think this kid is a homophobe or anything but im alway cautious when it comes to telling people. I have no shame in being a gay man but having such a masculine job some people may see me differently.

“Thats so cool. Another gay firefighter. I’ve never met another one. I dont feel so alone now.” He says. “Oh, well actually…” i was going to tell him about Evan but before i could finish my sentence he leaned forward and kissed me. I definitely was not expecting that.

“Dude! What the hell?!” I shout shoving him off of me. “Sorry. Too far?” He stupidly asks. “Yes way too far! Plus i have a boyfriend. He happens to be a firefighter too.” I snap. “Please dont report me. I really like it here” he begs. “Too late.” I tell him walking out of the kitchen.

I walk downstairs to report him when i see a familiar grey jeep leaving the parking lot pretty fast. I hope that wasnt Evan.

“Hey Kinard, what did Evan bring you?” Steven asks from a far. “Shit” i say under my breath that was Evan and he probably saw what happened in the kitchen because i never saw him.

I was about to ask if i could handle this when a call came through. I had to push down my anger and my worries about what just happened and focus on the call. God i hope its a simple call so it goes by fast.

It was not. It was a warehouse fire and the warehouse contained toxic chemicals so everything we did had to be done carefully and correctly. It took the rest of the shift.

We finally got back to the station at 11pm. I grabbed my bag and headed straight for my truck. “Hey Kinard.” I hear Kaleb call out behind me. “Dont talk to me. You most likely just ended my relationship with Evan and he was the best thing thats ever came into my life.” I snap at him. Which I probably said too much, based off his facial expressions, but i need to talk to Evan tell him what happened and pray that he believes me. “Let me talk to him, then i’ll ask for a new placement.” Kaleb says, “let me fix this.” He adds. “No you are not talking to him and yes find a new placement. Its not going to work for you here.” I tell him throwing my bag in the truck and drove home.

——

When i arrive home i dont see Evans jeep which means hes not here. I dont know why i thought he would be at my house after all. I mean yeah hes been staying here most of his time anyways but this would be the last place he would come after seeing another guy kiss me.

I try calling him and texting him but hes not answering, rightfully so. I drive over to his apartment next. I see his jeep parked in its usual spot so i know hes here.

I knock on his door immediately when i arrive. No response. “Evan its me. Please can we talk?” I ask through the door loud enough he should be able to here me. After a few more moments of knocking and asking nicely I threaten to do a welfare check and kick down his door.

I then heard the sound of locks unlocking and the door opened to a cold apartment and a tall Evan with a tear stained face and a angry blank expression.

“Evan please listen, i didnt kiss him. He kissed me.”i say, this is a lot more nerve racking than i thought. Its so hard not to stutter and to hse the right wording. “I saw you Tommy.” Evans voice cracks, he walks to the other end of the table while im at the other. Hes so close but het so far.

“Evan i would never cheat on you. Please believe me. We were talking and he asked if my locker was the one with the gay pride flag. Next thing i felt his lips on mine and i pushed him away. I swear.” I tell him the whole story but i cant tell if he believes me or not.

How do you convince your partner that you aren’t cheating on them when they saw another guy kiss you? I feel like im losing him and i really dont want to.

——-

~Bucks POV~

I listen to what Tommy is telling me and my brain is telling me not to believe him but my heart is telling me that hes telling the truth. Because Tommy is the first person to ever so me the type of personal affection, how it feels to be loved. Even though we haven’t said it yet we can feel it when we cuddle, when we get intimate, and when we say the same thing at the same time.

But in this case what do i go with my brain or my heart? Part of me wants to just believe him and go back to how things were but the other half wants to kick him out of my apartment and never talk to him again.

“Evan everyone in this situation had a misunderstanding.” Tommy says. “How am I misunderstanding this Tommy?” I ask in anger. “Okay, okah, im sorry. Wrong words here. Kaleb had a misunderstanding with what i said and he didnt let me finish talking before he kissed me. I was literally about to tell him about you when he kissed me.” Tommy explains.

“Thats what they all say.” I mumble under my breath. “Say what?” Tommy asks. “That the other person kissed them.” I answer. “Evan….” Tommy says, he can tell hes losing me.

It was quiet for a few moments as each of us trys to think of something. “I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow.” I say finally breaking the silence. “W-w-w-what?” Tommy stutters. “I said i’ll come get my stuff from your house tomorrow. While your at work so we dont see each other.” I repeat. Evans face goes into panic mode as he runs a frantic hand through his rough hair.

“Evan please. Im telling the truth. Listen Kaleb said he will talk to you. He’ll tell you everything i just said is true.” Tommy says all in one breath trying to convince me. “Please leave Tommy.” I ask. I’ve been hurt by too many people that are supposed to love me to try again and risk getting hurt again and again and again.

“Evan, baby please.” Tommy begs. “Stop. Get out Tommy. Get out before i call the police.” I command. Tommy rubs his chin with his hand as he turns to the door. He looks back at me one more time before he forces himself out the door.

Now im all alone, again. I should just stay single the rest of my life clearly everyone is going to hurt me when i get close to them.

——

The next day i wait intil i know Tommy is going to be at work so i can go get my clothes from over there.

When i arrive i dont see his truck which means he went to work today. I walk up to the door and i go to type in the code to unlock the door when the door opens. I look up and see the guy from yesterday. Kaleb.

I wanted to punch the guy so bad. He messed up the one good thing i had in my life. “Evan, right?” He asks. “So you’re Tommys new side piece huh?” I snarl. “Please let me explain myself. I never ment for any of this to happen. Can we just talk?” He asks stepping aside for me to come in. I roll my eyes and walk into the house.

I took a seat at the island in the kitchen as I listened to Kaleb talk. He basically said that it was his fault that he made the move and he ruined his chance at the firehouse. He said that he’s been transferred to a new one.

“So do you believe Tommy now? That he wouldn’t cheat on you?” Kaleb asks. “He was going to come tell you instantly but we got a call. You know how it is.” “Yeah.” Is all i say. “Well i have to get going. I really hope you can forgive Tommy. He really loves you.” Kaleb says as he lets himself out.

I sat at the kitchen island with my head in my hands thinking about what to do when i saw Tommy standing in the entrance of the kitchen leaning against the wall frame.

His body language was soft and his face was filled with regret. Hearing both sides of the story and that basically Tommy was telling the truth made it a little easier to go with my heart. But still knowing another guy kissed him hurts a little.

——

~Tomms POV~

I stood there and watched Evan as he proceeded what Kaleb told him. I can’t believe i caved and let Kaleb talk to Evan but its the only thing I could think of that could save mine and Evans relationship.

“So its true.” Evan finally says. “Yes.” I say. “A lot of people hurt me in the last Tommy.” He says. “I know. I never wanted to be one of them.” I try to control my voice to keep it steady.

“I know.” Evan says, “it still hurts that another guy kissed you.” He says. “It wont happen again. I swear to you Evan.” I promise him. “I know.” He says, a small smile spread across my face.

I walk towards him keeping an eye on his body language. “So do you forgive me?” I ask when im standing in front of him. I feel like im shaking as i wait for an answer. “Yes.” Evan tilts his head up and makes eye contact with me.

A smile spread my face as i lifted his chin up with my finger and connected my lips to his. God it felt so good to feel his lips against mine again. “What were you bringing me yesterday?” I ask out of curiosity. “Cookies. They are spilled in the back of my jeep.” He answers. “You taste better than cookies.” I say shrugging my shoulders. He smiles at that.

“I missed you so much.” I say against his lips resting my forehead against his. “I missed you too.” He says. I cradle the back of his head with my hand as i take his mouth back into mine.

I have him back and im never letting him go again.

——-

A/n: I hope you enjoyed the story!

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH

(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)

i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!

enjoy <3

"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.

jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.

"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.

steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."

jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."

"i dont believe you."

"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."

steve stares at you, shocked.

"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."

"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."

"i did."

during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.

"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"

"yeah." you both say at the same time.

steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.

"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."

jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."

"im right here, you know."

steve winces. "sorry."

"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."

jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.

shes too good.

you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.

now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.

the kindness is yours, no one elses.

and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.

you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."

jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."

steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."

"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.

its all you could ask for.

even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."

and its enough.

[jev-urisk]

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today i'm musing about connections and how they are often synonymous with our opportunities, our ability to survive, and our thoughts- therefor changing who we are and who will become. Also coin metaphors 🪙

Last Tuesday out of the blue one of my partners was laid off, he started a new job two days later because he knows people who work at a cabinet mill. 🙏

My family made the most healing ratatouille that we ate off of all weekend because someone I know from work had too many eggplants. 🍆📈

We got our house thanks to the efforts of a friend with a real-estate license. I got the contact info for my current therapist from a girlfriend. I have a song stuck in my head from a child I work with and I pick up catchphrases from people on tv and I know how to do pushups for the 1st time in my life bc an online friend taught me how. 🔥💪

Its fun and frightening to think about- that we are obelisks of pennies created from every person that gave us their two cents 🪙🪙

If every trait, thought, inclination, or idea of yours was a coin- which of your coins are old, passed down through the generations until they were shuffled into your hands? Which are invaluable? Like my dads tendency to accept things (like my gayness and transness and polyness) as long as no one is getting hurt, which I know he got from my grandfather ❤️. Which coins are a burden you dont know how to get rid of? Like my mother's propensity to say "It could be worse, think of__ (children in Africa, Houseless folk, etc)" which has become my tendency to minimize my own experiences and neglect to give myself breaks 🫠. Which coins did you find on the sidewalk and which sit with you in your car? Which are made of metals you're allergic to? Which are tarnished and scratched but still good? Which coins of yours are most valuable to you? 🎐

There are so many times in my life where I felt like I couldn't get a leg up, and the only way I got through was stacking pennies, adding up my connections and the ghosts of connections past to try to escape the pit..

With that in mind I want to take a moment to shout out the change (🥁) that others have gifted me with recently, cuz boy buddy have I needed to stack pennies lately, but have been so blessed to have so many new coins.

Thanks @sableglass, the fire you put into the world ignited action into me. I spent a year lamenting the loss of a job until your 'fuck it we ball' attitude inspired me to get resolved about that 🤽‍♂️. I got a job offer today. You helped me get here.

Thanks @the-golden-comet , you were one of the first writblr blogs I came across. You shaped my idea of tumblr to be something positive and uplifting during a very hard time for me 🫂. Your stories are so free and wild (🐳💦) and wonderful that they changed my outlook on being a writer and that what im 'allowed' to put in a story is anything but a limiting factor. You taught me that the course of a day can be changed with a simple frog gif and that you dont necessarily need to know someone to know how much they care. 🐸💕

Thanks to @tragedycoded for DMLS and @words-after-midnight for Libaw. Yall write the mentalscape of various conditions so well that im taking better care of myself 🧠🌿. I'm more proud of the work I've put into myself. And i'm becoming proud of the person I could have become but didn't.

Thank you to @lychhiker-writes for being my first homie on tumblr and for letting me vent my various frustrations into your dms 😏😅, and for being a brave and honest alpha reader for 7C.

Thank you @wyked-ao3 and @cowboybrunch and @gioiaalbanoart for being such great cheerleaders for my writing 😭💕 seeing yall connect and feel your feelings in my comments gives me so much hope and happiness and I honesty dont thank yall enough. I finally finished ch8 (no, really, check the doc 👀) and your encouragement helped me really embrace Seeker, who I used to think was too boring, and get that chapter finished 🏁.

There are so many others and I'm sorry for not naming them all 🙏 but if I have read your work, thank you. If I follow you or you follow me, thank you. If we have ever bonked together in a discord chat like two wayward beyblades 💞- *Thank You*

Today, I feel like I'm finally out of the pit, and it's thanks to the random 2 cents and spare change yall have gifted me. Your influence is priceless. 🥰💰

(Still no taglist for Monday posts yet, hmu if you'd like to be on it!)

[doll-for-you-11]

What is your deepest darkest sexual fantasy?

I've had this one for a really long time. Honestly starting probably way younger than is normal 🤭.

But to be captured in some way. That part doesn't matter so much. And taken to a dungeon of some sort. Waking up naked, chained to a table, arms above my head and my legs spread so far it hurts.

I'm gagged and its freezing, but I cant move. I can't even move my hips because I'm strapped down across my stomach as well. Im left there for a long time. But theres no windows or clocks so I cant tell if its an hour or a day.

Eventually I hear footsteps come up behind me. I can't move my head to see but before he comes into view he blind folds me. Not to conceal his identity he doesn't care if I see him. Im not ever going to leave anyway. But just to make me panic more.

He walks around the table, rubbing his hands all over me. Groping my tits, pinching my nipples, slapping my thighs. I hear wheels and rattling before ice water drips onto my already hard nipples. I whimper through the gag at the drops fall and then there is an ice cube being dragged across my tits and stomach.

He trails is down around my thighs, down my legs over my feet and back up. Running it around the outside of my pussy before letting it sit and melt on my stomach. The water running off onto the table under me.

He then grabs two more and holds them to my nipples. Unrelenting until they melt completely. The cold burns and then its numb. The water dripping down my tits, pooling between them and dripping down to my stomach as I breathe.

The last two he rubs on my pussy before pushing them inside. The cold burns the sensitive walls of my cunt as he pushes them deep and lets them melt. The water dripping out of me.

I hear him rummage around as things clank together before something else is being run over my body. I dont have time to think of what it is before he's slapping it roughly against my thigh. He slaps higher and higher until he slaps directly against my clit. Then dragging it up again the slap my tits and then my face.

I whine and whimper but the gag keeps me from making too much noise as he continues to slap over my tits and pussy harder and harder until he gets bored and moves on again.

By now my nipples are no longer numb, but are overly sensitive from the ice. He knows this as he drags a chain around them before tightly attaching clamps, hooking the chain somewhere above me, pulling my nipples, my tits stretched as far up as they can without my back able to arch, held to the table under me.

Tears fall down my cheeks, soaking the blindfold as i feel his breath on my neck before he whispers in my ear. "You're my slave now. You will do what I say, and take what I give you. I dont care if it hurts. In fact I hope it does. You are not here to receive pleasure. You are here so I can have fun with you. You will call me master and nothing else. And I will punish you if you misbehave". I feel his hand around my throat, squeezing as evidence that he means what he says.

I hear his footsteps again as he walks away. Leaving me there for another long period of time. When he eventually returns, my nipples are on fire. It feels like theyre being torn off. My legs burn from being spread so long. My jaw hurts from the gag forcing it open. Im already willing to let him fuck me just to be undone from my bonds.

Then something hard and thin wacks against my stretched tits. I try to scream as he canes them over and over, the chain on the clamps rattling as he does. I can only assume theyre black with bruising when he finally stops.

Im left like this for what I assume is about a week. He comes back periodically to whip, cane, or drip wax over me but leaves again soon after each time.

He never speaks, just abuses me and leaves.

Eventually, he comes back and I expect to be hit again only to have the clamps undone. The pain of my tits falling back to my body causes another muffled scream of pain, made louder as he gropes them roughly.

The blindfold is removed, and I see him. He's wearing a mask so his face is covered. But he's dressed nicely. Slacks and a button down. He doesn't look like the kind of man to do this.

He stands between my spread legs and kneels. I hear a dark laugh as he stands again. "Soaked" is all he says as he walks back toward my face. He slaps me roughly before grabbing a vibrator and coming back. He turns it on and runs it everywhere except my cunt. "Beg" he says. I try to shake my head but, my body shakes.

I didn't realize how much I wanted it. I feel disgusting. So desperate to be fucked after a week of torture. I try to speak. To say no but he makes up the words ive said. Mockingly quoting what he wants me to have said. "Please master? Please make me cum? As you wish toy". He holds it to my clit, putting it on high as my body shakes.

Just as im about to cum he removes it, chuckling. And leaves again. When he comes back he immediately goes to my cunt again, edging me for hours with the vibrator before leaving.

It goes like this for another week until he removes the gag. This time he forces me to beg. "Please, please let me cum, ill do anything, ill let you fuck me, I wont fight, please" "please what" "please master". Im so weak and pathetic that I do as Im told, desperate for some relief.

He puts it on low and toys with me. Rubbing everywhere except my clit as he leans down and quietly says "you will never be good enough for my cock. You are a toy, I will never fuck you" then he pulls another strap out and attatches the wand to my clit, turning it to high "you wanted to cum, now you get what you asked for" i cum almost instantly but i can't stop.

He stands and watches for a while as i cum over and over again, screaming until my voice gives out that I cant take anymore. But he eventually leaves me again, writhing, unable to move as I cum until my whole body is just uncontrollably shaking. So much slick has poured from my cunt that the entire table under me is soaked, my hair is wet, there are puddles on the floor.

My eyes have rolled back, my mouth open, my brain gone completely. When he finally returns and removes the wand, my body continues to shake. Thats when he removes the straps and frees me from the table. He carries my still shaking body down a hall and throws me into a small dark cage with a cot and a food bowl. "Your conditioning is over, now your training begins".

[immissingmaxx]

My Mascot //Tendou Satori

Chapter One: Dumb Eagle

Summery: Tendou's life has always been surrounded by volleyballs, nets, and the squeaky shoes of sweaty men. Tendou loves it, always has and always will. But what happens something, or someone, interferes.

•Warnings(?)

Tendou has sensitive/ fragile hands, clumsy reader, antisocial reader, my first fic (thats a warning), UBER short reader

•Word Count: 935

-

"Lets go, Ushijima! Ushijima! Ushijima!"

Usually the cheering of the crowd doesn't get to me. But today it seems everything's pissing me off today. Especially because the coach decided to bench me last minute before the game.

Maybe entirely because I've been benched last minute before the game. All because i forgot my finger tape.

"It's dangerous." "You could hurt yourself."

Since when did they care!? Put me in!

Put me in. Put me in. Put me in! Put me in!!

"Nice kill! Ushijima! Ushijima! Ushijima!"

Its the first break already. Wakatoshi approached me, somehow keeping his stoic facade even being sweaty and out of breath.

"Are you still benched?" Wakatoshi asked me, as everything in this gym has been, it only irked me more.

"Yes! Coach put me in i swear i wont get hurt!" I tried pleading the coach again.

"I know how sensitive your hands are Tendou. You'll definitely get hurt."

"Wait why's he bench again?" Goshiki wiped his face from sweat. Being benched was so last minute no one knew why.

"I forgot my stupid tape thats why! I don't need it, put me in!"

"Wait you forgot your tape? I have some." Goshiki, my sweet Goshiki.

"Really? Where is it? Its in your bag right? Can i borrow it? Ill buy you a bun! Where is it Goshiki?" I pressed Goshiki to for an answer, anything to be put in.

"Uh yeah, i think i left it in the changing room though." I was quick on my feet, if i get it before the end of the break i can play.

"Hurry it up Tendou." The coach yelled after me, but i was already halfway out the gym.

I made it to the locker room in no time, the sweaty stench never got to me, i bet if it was cleaned a thousand times it'd still smell like ass but i dont care. Now to find the tape.

-

Im bolting down the hall, they should seriously put the changing rooms closer to the gym, if im late I won't be put into the ga-

"Ah!" I stumbled back, i bumped into something in my rush, i didn't even see anything.

"Im so sorry, I wasn't looking where i was-" i looked down at the small figure i had knocked down.

An eagle?

Y/n's Pov

Shit.

I took a small nap to regain my energy before i go out and be around other people again. Apparently small naps aren't so small.

If schools not exhausting enough i also have to take an extracurricular if i want to graduate. All the clubs are boring and being around other people have never been my forte. This whole extracurricular thing is stupid i just wanna graduate. But if i need something quick and easy, mascot it is.

Im not sure if i should be thankful i took my costume home or not. I took it back to my dorm so thats i can clean it and make it smell less of other people's socks. But now im running all the way to the gym in a bulky eagle outfit.

The games already started, everyone might me mad at me. All i had to do is show up, jump around excitedly and leave, but i couldn't even do that.

I put my helmet on as i neared the gym. It makes it a bit hard to se but It's just on the right-

"Ah!" I fell back to the ground as i bumped into something.

"Im so sorry, I wasn't looking where i was-"

I guess i bumped into someone as they started rambling an apology, but he suddenly went quiet. The contact knocked my helmet over so i couldn't see a thing.

"No no, it's okay, my helmet makes it hard to see." I pawed at my large helmet, trying to figure out how to fix it. A hand suddenly scooping itself under my arm and lifting me to my feet.

"Your our mascot! Man i forgot we had one." He turned my helmet turned to my face, shifting it to make it comfortable.

I could see him.

Sort of.

A tall, lanky, sort of frayed figure. He was wearing a uniform, i could make out that much, maybe he was on the team.

"Shouldn't you be at the game." He asked me, taking in the sight of my costume.

"Um, shouldn't you?" I questioned back. He froze, suddenly bolting off down the hall.

"Crap the game! I forgot about the game!" He yelled as he ran down the hall. I guess i should follow him.

Tendou's Pov

The game, i totally forgot about the game! Im gonna be late and i won't be put in, no theres only a minute left, i can make it.

Well. I made it.

I jumped onto the court, overcomed with excitement.

"Here.. I.. am!!!" I hoped to my teammates.

"About time. Almost thought we were gonna play without you."

"Yeah, i ran into-"

The crowed suddenly roared with cheers. I turned behind me, it was the mascot girl from earlier. She finally showed up.

She galloped in and jumped around, waving to the crowd. Thats all she's doing, she must not be really into this.

"We have a mascot? I forgot." Goshiki said as we all watched her jump around.

"No one would wear the costume, guess it's too embarrassing."

She continued to gallop and jump down the gym, jumping into a bench and completely falling over it.

"..Yea that is embarrassing." Ohira deadpanned, watching the mascot pick herself up. "That's some dumb eagle."

"Yeah.. dumb."

//

A/n: I skimmed through this a bit, does that count as proofreading?? I hope to continue writing this so lets hope i have the energy to do so🙏

[seeminglydark]

Forgive me if this is weird to say, but as someone who really struggles to get attached to his own ocs out if fear of seeming cringe (and trying really hard to break out of thar) I really admire how much you unabashedly love your characters and how much it shows in your art

hahaha its not weird to say at all, I actually also struggle with this. I get a lot of self embarrassment and feel cringe about the fact that i draw the same things all the time, i dunno if that helps to hear. Sometimes I even refrain from posting things for a few days, or i wont post them in places like patreon or my patreon server or something cuz i have this fear of 'Oh Not Again.'

I think what helps me is remembering that first and foremost, I created my ocs for ME. I draw them for me. everything I do, its for me, coping mechanisms, self therapy, working through issues, or just for fun and aesthetic. They are extensions of me, and loving them is basically learning to love me. I put the care i should have been giving myself all this time into them, and it weirdly helps with my own self love journey, cuz honestly I feel pretty cringe most of the time and like i dont belong in most spaces. My ocs ease that, its a way of putting my heart and thoughts on paper so to speak.

These days i tell myself if people get bored, or dont want to see characters, or think im cringey, they have the freedom to unfollow. The internet is a vast place. When people are jerks about it, which I'll be honest, has happened WAY less than my brain tells me it will, i ignore and move on. No one has to be here. Has it happened? Yeah once or twice maybe, but compared to the positive messages I get its really rare. it's more that i think the rejection hurts us more when we hear it, I combat this by keeping a document where I've copy pasted all the comments/tags/dms that made me feel good, that way i can read through it and remind myself most people that are here love what i do. i like to think thats why people followed me.

And you know what, its so hard to separate ourselves from what people think of us, so remember the good things, cuz its incredibly rewarding that theres people who DO wanna be here. That love them maybe just as much as me. That feeling is WAY Bigger than the cringe feeling. The fact that i CAN be obsessive and cringe and people are on this ride with me? Holy Shit like I cant even describe how good that feels.

Create first and foremost for you. Thats the win, right there. And if it so happens others want to walk that road with you, well you've already won by creating so thats just a really cool bonus. Remember the kind interactions you have with people.They mean so much more than the negative ones. Love your ocs cuz they are a part of you in some kinda way and you deserve that love and care too.

-RJ

[sagethegremlin]

For the ship memes ask game:

Tacopep with whichever question you think would be the funniest to answer for them

im bored how about ALL OF THEM 🔥🔥🔥

big spoon/little spoon:

even though tacos the smaller one she would be the big spoon because pepper likes to be comforted more

favorite non-sexual activity:

they enjoy harmlessly messing with each other (picture house and wilson style pranks) but honestly they enjoy being in each others company more than anything

who uses all the hot water:

pepper :)

most trivial thing they fight over:

taco lived in the woods forever adjusting to a pleasant domestic life is hard for her so pepper is always pestering her about stuff like taking regular showers and wearing things that look nice but at the end of the day pepper knows its a hard adjustment so she'll bug her about it but she isnt actually mad yknow

who does most of the cleaning:

neither. they either hire someone else to do it, trick someone else into doing it, or just yell at each other about it forever (maybe pepper would eventually do it begrudgingly)

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue:

taco pays for it but pepper is the one thats always controlling what they watch because taco doesnt really care

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:

peppers the one to make the call but she always ends up handing it over to taco because shes much more intimidating

who steals the blankets:

both. the only solution is for them to sleep separately but they would never do that so every night is a battle

who leaves their stuff around:

pepper. when she lived in the hotel she had a reason to stay organized because that was how oj liked to keep things but in this scenario where shes living with taco she doesnt have a reason to care about any of that anymore. she can never find anything tho

who remembers to buy the milk

neither of them. they only remember to buy food when they run out so they always end up doordashing everything

who remembers anniversaries:

pepper and she loves making a big deal out of it :) she always plans something sweet :)

Who cooks normally?

whatever restaurant/fast food place is nearest

How often do they fight?

they have non-serious fights all the time for the "excitement" but rarely have a full on genuine argument with each other unless its about their past (they dont bring up salt and they dont bring up pickle or mic)

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

theyre miserable with and without each other so i suppose theyd just be miserable

Nicknames for each other?

taco calls pepper her princess :)

Who is more likely to pay for dinner?

taco always pays for everything because pepper likes to be spoiled :)

What would they get each other for gifts?

taco gets pepper very materialistic stuff (makeup, outfits, etc) because pepper likes being spoiled meanwhile pepper actually tries harden than youd think to get taco personalized stuff (even if its just a nice necklace that has her name or something)

Who kissed who first?

pepper but now she prefers being the one being kissed

Who made the first move?

again pepper

Who remembers things?

neither! these are the most dumbass dysfunctional lesbians youll ever see

Who started the relationship?

no one really "started" it they just kinda kept hanging out and eventually moved in together

Who cusses more?

taco at first but she rubbed off on pepper too much

What would they do if the other was hurt?

start killing honestly

[eyezdrawz]

im bored so im dropping poetry for y'all to see, there are prob spelling mistakes but whatever, poetry under cut TW: BLOOD, ROT, SUICIDE, DEATH, SHOOTINGS, GORE

I worked really hard on these so I'd appreciate your reblogs and comments <3

Collection of poetry by me

The liar’s real identity – Eyez

I look back on my life, cliche like others

But I wonder where I went wrong to get to who I am

And I wonder where I went right to stay who I am

Why did I meet these people who tortured me

And Who have I wronged to torture myself

Lonely nights and lively days

But I control this so why don't I change

To feel is to live and to live is to feel

But we all live so that one day we can all die

What am I feeling?

I ask everyone yet no one answers

Who am I supposed to be?

I ask no one yet everyone answers

Sensitive to everyone’s thoughts of deathbut not sensitive enough to care about yours anymore

I should but it hurts to see what has your thoughts deceived to be

Now I lie

Lie about love

Lie about pain

And all your love was shoved into vain

You can’t forgive me

And I can’t forgive myself

So let me put our hidden memories on top that dusty shelf

Educational Boredom – Eyez

Walls surrounding her

Wanting her

Trustfully closing in

On all solivagant souls

biblichor on her graphite-covered hands

Clinomania stuck in her head

Moon-struck faces fade away

Yet all she wants is to be successful

Tears fall down her smiling face

Unable to feel until it's too late

Stamina wasted on walking nowhere

Why can’t she move?

She is

Just in the wrong direction

Peacefully walking into her own grave

Say goodbye to a person who loved her

She didn't like to say I love you back

A sister in hand one in another

Justice paying a toll for one and the other

School stringing drama together

Instead of sewing study's goals

Breathing notes and spying books

Warm sweaters and itching-raw tank tops

Jumping clues go out to life

Where will I lead without any strife

Scared to love

I don't want to feel you

Scared to die

I don't want to be you

Infinite hallways lead to everywhere

Unlock the doors

Logophile, she continues to read

Humanity to one person loosing hope – Eyez

Typing things no one will read

Singing things no one will hear

Making things no one will see

Being someone something will fear

Humans are unknown yet we think we know everything

We ruminate about the world yet we dont explore it

So much to see yet not enough time to do it

We love to waste time and momentum

We love to waste effort and spirit

Hating the idea of being bullies while we bully others

It takes a special type of hypocrisy to be decievingly known

Is someone truly good?

Is something truly bad?

Is it the way we look at things?

Is it the perspective that we have to change?

Why not our actions

Why not our thoughts

Why not our people

Why not your bots

jolting up at 3 am because you heard a feather fall

Ignoring the screaming at 1 pm because you heard those sirens call

We’re to used to the bad

Take the shootings for granite

But when something is different

When something is new

Hiddin in our corrupt minds, you want to ban it

Bodies falling

Teenagers screaming

Parents begging

Stomach wailing

Its their heads hitting the ground

Its their minds in the clouds

Karma beating those who did not behave

But only after their scuicidal minds hit the grave

Your heart is not the symbol of love – Eyez

Moon shines on different roofs

Faking a smile yet loving the truth

The undead roaming like the unspoken history

Questions haunt the earth behind blind eyes

The vessel for our souls

The beast is our bodies

Shapeshifting organs twist and turn

In the bloody home we call the heart

Living the years looking like corpses

Orderly chaos consumed by our voices

Yet we have yet to rot

Living the dream in the grave you dug for me

You living the nightmare thinking its your fantasy

Good events turn to bad

Just one chime of the clock and we all go mad

The older the mind the stranger the hunger

The younger the truth the more likely the liar

Gruesome births and calm deaths

Become to newborn version of the generation

One by one we all fall apart

Fading piece by piece into extinction

Vulgar words even more the vulgar sentence

Death and love become your only special entrance

The alternative - Eyez

Sleep here in the ground

Blood behind your mind

Secrets revealed night before

You where fine just days ago

I look away from the grave

Your new home I made

I see your parents

Grieving privately

They search my eyes

Looking for my excuses

I have none to give

I raise my hands

A sign for surrender

A sign for peace

Blood drips down them

I wish my love not ceased

Weary needs, Guilt in my eyes

Sorry please don't make innocent cries