#and put my ideas out there cause I'm scared it's not “correct” enough

[illdothehotvoice]

I want to let go of my need to stick to source material so badly and just mindlessly consume fandom like I did when I was a kid but I literally can't

[azrielsshadows42]

Azriel SFW alphabet

This has been sitting incomplete in my drafts since March so... idk.

Warnings: I don't think there is any other than some self-deprecating, correct me if I'm wrong, unedited

A = Affectionate (how affectionate is he)

Now let's get this straight, this male LOVES you with every fibre of his body and soul, if you need affection he is there in seconds, he is super observant, so you don't even have to ask, he has at least one small shadow that follows you around to make sure you are alright. Whether you just need to hold his hand or you need him to hold you through the night, he has no problems fulfilling your requirements.

When he needs affection however... is another story, he will almost never ask for it, he doesn't want to bother you, and no matter how many times you tell him it's not a bother he will always feel like he is being a burden to you. You will need to learn how to read him better than anyone because he will not make it easy for you.

B = Best friend (what would he be like as a best friend, how does the friendship start?)

He would be an amazing best friend, always knows when you are feeling down and how to cheer you up, it takes a while but once you are close enough the friendly teasing is hilarious. you would definitely have some inside jokes just between the two of you.

At first it would be him only interacting with you when necessary, he will be as polite as possible cause he doesn't want you to be scared of him but he also doesn't really want to spend a lot of time with you 1) Because he has trust issues and is wary of you, it is kind of his job and 2) Because he doesn't want to corrupt you.

C = Cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how does he cuddle?)

Azriel will completely deny it if anyone asks him but... he actually really likes cuddles, this man is so touch starved he NEEDS skin to skin contact. He is perfectly content to just lay with you in the evenings after dinner, admiring your beauty. And while he trains extremely diligently, he secretly loves when he has a good reason not to train so he can wake up next to and actually have a proper breakfast together instead of just leaving a note with promises to see you later.

Once again will adamantly deny it if asked but his favourite way to cuddle is spooning, he likes to be the big spoon, he loves having his arms wrapped around you along with his wings for extra warmth because he knows you love it, just for that extra reassurance that you are safe and haven't disappeared. He could be convinced to be little spoon for a night if you really wanted it, but it would take some pleading.

D = Domestic (Does he want to settle down, how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

So, I feel like Azriel would absolutely love the idea of settling down, in concept but would be really scared to do so, not because he's unsure of his feelings for you, no not at all, he loves you wholeheartedly sometimes a bit too much he'd be scared because he thinks you might change your mind. That he isn't good enough or he'll taint your innocence what innocence? It will definitely be a few years, maybe even decades before he is certain you won't leave him for someone "better". And even then, he will need reassurance.

Now when it comes to cleaning, this man is over the top, everything is immaculate, there is not a speck of dust to be found.... ever.

But you see with cooking... I don't know, I feel like it could go both ways, he's either stupidly good at it like, bro??? Where did you learn this? Truly Gordon Ramsey level cuisine. Or... he doesn't know what he's doing, at all. He'll try, he will most definitely try to have you come back to a lovely home cooked meal whenever he has the chance to but... it doesn't always ever come out the way he intends it to. But it's the thought that counts and you really can see the effort he put into it.

E = Ending (if he had to break up with you, how would he do it)

There is only one way (other than unfaithfulness) that he will break up with you, and that is if he feels that you, being with him, is putting you in too much danger. This man has waited 500 years for his mate or anyone to love him as wholly as you do, and ending your relationship will absolutely break him. He'll do it very respectfully and considerately, he will seem composed, yet not cold-hearted, but once he's behind closed doors and he is 1000% sure NOBODY can hear him, there will be tears streaming down his face and the only thing keeping him from going back on it is the knowledge that you are safer this way. His shadows try desperately to console him but nothing they do works, only you could calm him once he's at this point.

F = Fiancé (how does he feel about commitment? How quick would he want to get married?)

He has some commitment issues, the idea is daunting to him but he wouldn't be unfaithful to you, even if it would save his life. He would want to wait a few years before sealing the deal, he wants to know you, your soul, every sweet thought and dark desire, he wants to know everything.

G = Gentle (how gentle is he, physically and emotionally?)

Azriel is all about light touches that leave you wanting more, brushes against your arm with his own, light hand holding, small stolen looks across the room, just the sweetest thing. He tries his very best to hide any emotions he might have that would upset you, very aware of whatever emotional state you're in especially when you don't, needs some help to remember that he is allowed to have negative emotions and doesn't have to be ok 24/7.

H = Hugs (does he like hugs? How often would he hug you? What are his hugs like?)

Azriel doesn't mind hugs, if you hug him, he won't stop you and he will sometimes initiate them but, he's more inclined to other methods of affection; forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses, small adoring whispers in your ear, more kisses, longing looks, did I mention kisses?

However, when he does hug you, it's usually from behind so he has an opening for neck kisses or when he's just come back from a long mission and needs you in his arms.

I = I love you (who is the first to say, "I love you"?)

You. Definitely you, if you don't say it, the relationship is never happening. He will wait for you to spell it out, and even then, he isn't sure, like: you kiss him on the lips, stare lovingly at him, shyly say goodnight and he'd be like, she could have meant that as a friend, right?

Cauldron save this male; he is in Jude Duarte level denial.

J = Jealousy (How jealous is he?)

On the outside, not at all, very calm, collected, the most you'll see is a clenched jaw, or his hand might twitch toward Truth-Teller. Unless you show signs of discomfort, he will let you be.

On the inside? The leash on his anger is being pulled, and it has been pulled tight. There is no room for give on it. It is so taught that if a bird landed on it, it would snap. Whoever is in range should fucking run. And whoever it is aimed at should write their will and pray.

K = Kisses (What are his kisses like?)

Like I've mentioned previously, he loves giving you little pecks at random points of the day. However, when you're alone and he is just looking at you, and that wave of adoration hits him... he just can't help kissing you slow.

L = Little ones (How is he around kids?/Does he want any?)

Az gets really awkward around most kids, he tries not to get too close to them. He gets over this when it comes to kids he spends alot of time with, namely his nephew, Nyx.

Azriel is really scared to have kids, and at first he is completely convinced that he doesn't want any, though with the right person, He'll have kids, and he loves them more than the world itself. He resigns from his position as spymaster to fully commit to his family, he's got enough money, and he never looks back.

M = Morning (How are Mornings spent with him?)

Most days he is already training with Cassian before you wake up, but every Saturday, he has a slow morning wit you, or you'll wake to breakfast in bed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with him?)

Some nights you shower together, and it's sweet and wholesome, you do your skin routine and he'll watch with a smile fro the door way. You even manage to rope him into a nightly face mask later into your relationship.

He says goodnight with a million kisses all over, pulling the blanket over the both of you and pulls you in close, holding you no matter how much you move around in your sleep. If you're a sleep walker, no you're not.

O = Open (When does he start revealing things about himself? Is it all at once or bit by bit?)

Bit by bit for sure. Every small thing you learn about him is earned, there is no volunteering of information. You have to extract the lore, have to practically drag him kicking and screaming into emotional intimacy. There are no flood gates. It is a tap that never runs, only leaks slightly. It takes ages to get to everything that happened to him, but it is worth the wait. It always will be.

P = Patience (How easily angered is he?)

For you, infinite patience, he will explain and re-explain a topic as many times as you need. He just comes back from going out while it's that time of the year and you say you need/want something else again, no worries, he'll go out and get it for you, as well as being ready for you to say you forgot to tell him you wanted something when he gets back and go out again.

You are allowed to do things that no one else could do and walk out alive, like pranking him, and I don't mean something that Cassian would do, like hide a weapon of his, I mean like:

Azriel walks into the room while everyone is chatting. You immediately notice his presence yelling his name in excitement, heads turn toward him. Cassian spits out his drink, Rhysand's mouth falls open, Feyre gasps, Mor's eyes widen, even Nesta raises a brow. It takes a moment, then the shock wears off, and Cassian bursts out laughing.

"What happened to your hair?!"

Azriel's brow furrows. "What do you mean?" He could see you desperately trying to hold in your laughter, but failed, and sunk to the floor, not able to breathe from how hard you were laughing. He could see Rhysand also fighting it off, but his face cracked, and he to, joined in, Feyre and Mor were not far behind.

"What? What is wrong with my hair?" Nobody could pause their hysterics long enough to say something. He stood in confusion until Amren, the only one who wasn't laughing at all said "It's bright blue, boy" that for some reason unleashed a new wave of giggles and Nesta cracked a smile.

He looked to the mirror hung in the hall, seeing that his hair was indeed a pastel blue, with flecks of purple near the ends. The truth was, he knew his hair would be an unusual colour today, his shadows had caught you buying the magic hair-dye, but he let you swap out his shampoo, as to not spoil your fun.

Even if he hadn't known, the look on your face said everything. "You are lucky I love you" he said, shaking his head and sighing, your smile only broadened at his words, your arms flung around his mid-section and face nuzzled in his chest. "I love you too"

Q = Quizzes (How much does he remember things about you? Does he remember everything in passing or does he forget everything?)

Little secret, Az is actually quite forgetful, when it comes to dates like your anniversary or the inner circle's birthdays (Including his own) he cannot remember it for the life of him. Luckily, his shadows give him reminders but when it comes to the details, like your coffee order, preferred foods, general likes and dislikes, it's like he has a separate compartment of his brain allocated to only you with unlimited space.

"How did you know I liked (Input song name here)"

"I remember you humming it when I walked into the room"

"When? I forgot about this song."

Short pause

"Eight years ago? Give or take."

R = Remember (What is his favourite moment in your relationship?)

If you ask him, he'll probably say when you said 'I love you' for the first time, or that time you woke up after a peaceful night, just looking at him with love but really, it was when he was pissed at Rhys and Cassian for disregarding his dislike of the Illyrians because they wanted him to 'embrace his culture'.

Rhys had sent him to go talk with Devlon and a number of other camp lords when they both had the afternoon completely free, spending it with their mates as if he didn't have a mate too.

After he got back, he had gone straight to you, and you had listened to him while combing your fingers through his hair. He had finally dragged himself downstairs to give Rhysand the news on the camps with you following behind him a few paces.

You waited outside the door, Azriel had opened it, about to leave when Rhys said he also wanted the report of some other mission by tomorrow morning. Azriel didn't even say anything, he'd just sighed and a muscle in his jaw ticked, then Rhysand had made some comment about his attitude, it was spoken with a light tone, but you had had it with his crap.

You had started berating him, yelling, really laying on it, not even letting him get a word in. Not that he could, he was too stunned.

Cassian had made the grave mistake of seeing what the commotion was. You brought him into it. Both Rhys and Cass had to just take it like children being scolded for taking an extra cookie. Neither would meet your eyes when you were done.

You grabbed Azriels hand, pulling him along as you stormed out. Once rounding the corner, you winnowed both you and Azriel to your house muttering under your breath. The only words he actually caught was "Fuck them" before you pulled him into bed and you simply cuddled for the rest of the night and well into the morning.

S = Security (How protective is he? How would he protect you? How would he like to be protected?)

Az is your personal body guard and the shadows are the surveillance cameras. No one in Velaris is safer.

He needs no physical protection, he needs emotional protection. He needs you to guard his heart like a dragon guarding treasure. He needs you to occasionally remind him to stand up for himself against Rhysand and Cassian because he deserves good things too.

T = Try (How much effort does he put into dates/anniversaries/etc?)

In the beginning, he is trying to impress you, to convey how much he feels for you through the dates as he struggles to articulate the enormity of his love. Like booking out theaters, really fancy dinners, picnics with way too much food and so on it's honestly overwhelming.

He eventually dials it back, finding a good balance of well thought out but not OTT (Over The Top). Every once in a while though, he'll still do an extra something.

U = Ugly (What is a bad habit of his?)

His tendency to shrink into himself when he's in pain, to ignore his needs, to put what he wants on the back burner to focus on everyone else.

V = Vanity (How concerned is he with his looks?)

See, the massive injustice of Azriel is that he barely gives 2 shit's, as long as he looks somewhat presentable, he couldn't be bothered to do anything more.

He wears the same thing every day, washes his face, combs hair, and he's ready.

He is blessed with effortless beauty.

W = Whole (Would he feel incomplete without you?)

He always felt incomplete, before he met you, there was a hole, after he met you, that hole was slowly filled up with your laugh, smile, and touch. If he had to lose you, that hole would be ten times as large and gaping, because the entire foundation of his very being went with you.

X = Xtra (A random head cannon for them)

He likes hiding little things like your keys or glasses (If you have them) so that when you ask "Azriel, have you seen my {fill in the blank}" he can stand there with said object in hand and give it to you, all so you'll give him that little smile and a kiss on the cheek.

Y = Yuck (What is something he wouldn't like either in a partner or in general?)

He can handle pretty much anything. There isn't much that could actually detour him from someone he truly loves. He puts up with Rhysand and Cassian every day for cauldrons' sake, but the one thing that is necessary is silence.

Not all the time, and he loves talking to you more than anyone else, but sometimes, after a long, hard mission, talking and general conversation is not something he's up for.

He just needs a quiet night where you're just next to each other, not speaking or anything just, existing.

Z = Zzz (What are his sleep habits?)

Whenever he collapses is entirely up to the mother... unless his ultimate weakness coaxes him into something more regular. If you just so happened to ask him to come to bed early, or asked him to be in bed by 11:00 at the latest because you struggle to sleep without him, and with the puppy eyes and pouty face too, well... how could he resist? He can't go after you have fallen asleep because you hold on to him, he can't just leave in the middle of the night, you'd be cold, and when you inevitably request that he stay an extra 5 minutes, those papers on his desk just have to wait, his mate is more important.

[selineram3421]

*has a little idea* I've gotta listen to brain commands.

First Day

Alastor and Child Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ implied murder, mention of kidnapping, mention of heart attack, shake of head=no, fake crying lol, italic red=Alastor's thoughts ⚠

Alastor didn't understand why some demons worried over the little children that ran amuck in Hell.

That is until he adopted one himself.

Small, wide eyed, and frail looking. Of course he'd worry after a glance. But after seeing the pile of dead bodies beneath their feet, it seemed like there wasn't too much to worry about.

So all he had to do was teach them how to make others fear them. Especially after the whole kidnapping fiasco with Valentino.

And what better timing than their first day of school.

.

You were playing around in the hotel.

Most of it was following Husk around and scaring the other hotel guests. But then Charlie told Alastor the number of complaints from guests about you and your pranks.

"They are absolutely harmless! What's a little scare going to do?", the deer demon said.

"Someone had a heart attack.", Vaggie piped in.

"Nuh-uh!", you popped up out of nowhere, making the two females jump in surprise. "That frog demon croaked! He's just mad that I made him make a funny sound."

The blonde sighs before holding out a flyer to the red dressed demon.

"Look, I know you're just having fun but not all demons think its funny.", she tells you before looking at Alastor. "There's a school for demon children not too far from the hotel, maybe they can meet demons their age and make friends?"

After dinner you and Alastor sat down on the couch in the hotel room and read through the flyer.

"I don't want to go.", you pouted.

"Don't worry my little terror, we'll think of something.", he booped your nose. "Perhaps we can use this as training!"

"Training?", you repeated.

"Yes! We'll use this as an opportunity!", Alastor said as he stood from the couch, turning to hold out a hand for you to take. "Come little one, there's much I have to teach you."

.

"Remember what I taught you little one!", Alastor says, fixing their coat. "Anything can be a weapon..."

"With enough force and creativity!", they said confidently.

"Correct!", his smile brightened. "Now, let's go show the ladies that you are a proper demon with manners so they feel bad for sending you out. Remember to look sad."

"Hmhmm!", the nod again before taking a deep breath, putting on their sad face and looking down at the floor.

"Perfect.", he approved before leading them by the hand down to the lobby.

Both of the girls were waiting by the entrance doors to say their goodbyes to the little demon.

"We are ready!", Alastor announces.

"Hey! We got them a-", Charlie starts before noticing the little demon's sad face. "..lunch box."

Vaggie squints at them but doesn't say anything.

Though the Radio Demon can see that his little one's sad face is affecting her as well, the moth demon clenching her fists.

"Now, what do we say mon petit?", the deer demon pats their back.

"I'm..", they say but don't look up yet. "I'm sorry for being bad and I'll go to school so..", finally they look up at the girls with little tears starting to well up. "Please don't be mad anymore."

Charlie is obviously affected the most and looks over at her partner, receiving a shake of the head from the white haired demon in response.

The princess takes a breath before handing over the lunch box to the little demon. "Its only for a little bit, alright?"

"Ok..", they say, still keeping up with the act before turning to face him. "Bye Alastor."

"It won't be for long, don't worry.", he 'reassures' them. "I'll pick you up when school is out."

They nod before hugging his side.

He pats them on the head before waving them goodbye as they walk out of the hotel and to the school bus.

Bidding the ladies adieu, Alastor lets his smile widen after turning away from the two, wondering how his little demon will cause chaos.

I can't wait to hear all about it~

*wipes away tears after typing out the fake crying* I was that child huh.

~Seline, the person.

Part 2

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @kiraisastay @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @ducky-died-inside @biromanticboba @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

Initial hopeful DM anon here. Sorry it took me this long, I tried picturing Daniel's turning and my mind just got stuck in the moment when the penthouse door closes after Louis and Daniel realizes that he's alone in a closed space with the vampire who tortured him for 6 days and who must be furious with him now and Louis's threat is likely useless cause Armand is way powerful to be killed. And suddenly the flashbacks flood Daniel's brain again and his heart is pounding and he can feel the stare of Armand's eyes on his back - khm yeah, anyway.

I really like your interpretation of Armands spite and I also like the other anon's idea that he'd punish himself this way. I'd be happy with either honestly, they both make sense in their own way. Here's my 5 cents.

Old Daniel is different from his younger self. He might be the same desperate and needy person deep inside (and I'd love to see that portrayed by Eric), but the Daniel we've seen so far in Dubai wouldn't beg for the dark gift the way he did in the books. He doesn't remember past DM, so he'd also be too afraid of Armand to demand it. There's also an issue of trust - i don't think modern day Daniel would trust Armand enough to let himslef be drained. Armand definitely wouldn't force it upon him.

Which means in the show it was Armand who offered the dark gift to Daniel. I think this wouldn't be a departure from the books, because there (correct me if I'm wrong) Armand didn't just agree to Daniel's constant pleas, he decided it was finally time, because he couldn't risk Daniel dying.

Now, walk with me. Armand is aware Daniel's life is in danger because of 1) the great conversion in combination with the book (which Daniel is definitely going to publish) and 2)Parkinsons in combination with covid.

Past DM definetly happened and however it ended I'm sure it was painful. The past two weeks have also been living hell because Armand remembers, but Daniel doesn't. And now Armand is left alone with himself, he just lost both Louis and Lestat, he has no coven, Daniel is all he's got. Daniel, who's about to leave too and then he could die at any moment and Armand wouldn't even be able to protect him. Then he'd be truly alone.

Now imagine if Armand, being torn apart both by Daniel's betrayal and by the fact that Daniel doesn't even recignize it as betrayal, terrified of Daniel's possible death, had to ask Daniel to trust him and let Armand turn him because this is the only way to esure Daniel's safety.

And then Daniel would be both too scared and too snarky to trust him. So Armand would be the one to beg. He would have to tell Daniel about past DM, maybe give back the memories, knowing Daniel will despise him for taking it all away, but at least it would mean he could protect Daniel even if he'd hate Armand for eternity.

I LOOOVE THIS. well i mean for starters i love the idea that armand would have to beg. like that the frantic desperate energy he uses to talk to louis sort of continues as he gets daniel to stay and talk to him and accept the gift. honestly would be so fun to see daniel come around to it too, going from warily intrigued to nervously accepting.

i also love it in the way that it recalls armand as coven leader which is something i don't see a lot and something i myself have a sort of difficult time extracting to put into his character! him doing it out of love and protection is so awesome. he's like by the way you are my firstborn AND my coven now. no take backsies

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 3rd

w anon, misunderstanding anon (new), thoughts anon (tw: abuse), confession ig anon (new), guess anon (tw: abuse)

W Anon

Hey cas!

Not exactly a vent today, it's writing advice/support

I have this idea for a marauders fic I wanna write. Its something I think I could write well and I want to create it for other people to read. But I haven't written a lot of fanfic, mostly because I feel weird writing about charecters other people see differently. And not in the jkr sense like idc so much abt og authors tho I do plan to follow some canon, more the problem is I just feel really hesitant to put my work up in a place where other people *also* write about the exact same charecters and have equal rights to me in terms of its not like they're my charecters, because I don't want other people's vision to affect mine. Idk. I know I could just not share but I feel like it fills a hole in the vast tapestry of fan fic cause if it didn't, I could just go read abt it instead of having to write it. I went through a list of all the named marauders Era charecters and figured I'd pick a couple to use that don't feel so fleshed out in fanon so that I don't have to stress abt that aspect of it. Basically I love barty as a charecter and I feel like my idea of him matches enough that I can write him, but not so much like remus or lily or like Marlene and Mary and the other female charecters? Especially for the girls there seems to be so little Canon but they always seem written so complexely it scares me.

Also parents by yungblud was actually written by barty I don't make the rules.

-W

Honestly, I think you should write about and post about whoever you want! Why do other people in fandom have more of a right to characters than you do? (Hint: they don't.) You have every right to write characters how you want, and I guarantee you that someone out there will love how you write them BECAUSE it's different. And anyone who doesn't can use the back button or fuck right off.

______________

Misunderstanding Anon

Okay. So, I accidentally had a small misunderstanding with an only partial acquaintance at the time and it accidentally turned into one of the biggest lies I've ever told?

At first I just let it go because like... what does it matter? It's not like it's really going to make a difference anyway? And we're not even friends so who cares?

But now we're like months into our relationship and what had started off as it wouldn't matter has slowly turned into, well fuck how am I supposed to tell him now??

And it's not a big lie either! As an example it would be like he assumed I was vegetarian and I wasn't, but now it gets brought up so much and my anxiety had just kinda forced me into pretending it's true so now I'm like fuck is this my life from now on?

Because it's gotten to the point where it just feels like this HUGE secret and I know you'll say to come clean, but what if he hates me for lying this whole time?

I could try to explain that it really was a misunderstanding at first, and I know it wasn't right of me to not correct it when things started getting serious, but he's so big about honesty and I'm just so worried this would make us fall apart?

Its just over something SO stupid and I have no idea what I'm going to do??

*anyone else seeing this is free to jump in too if you have thoughts😭*

Hi <3

Okay so this is honestly (ha) a really hard situation because there's no easy answer. But let's think of the possibilities.

Let's say you don't say anything. Then from there, he could either never find out and you continue to feel guilty like this (doesn't sound fun) or he DOES find out, but from someone else. I think probably wouldn't end up good.

Let's say you DO say something. He could get mad, yeah. But at least you're in control of when and where that happens. And maybe if you write something out, similarly to how you did here, he'll understand and your relationship will be okay.

So yea...there's no easy decision. But I'm not gonna lie, I think you should tell him. Especially if it's a small thing, I think the odds are you can get through it if you tell him on your own.

_____________________

Thoughts Anon

Hi hon <3

I'm so sorry about what happened with you and V.

Here's the thing, I'm not sure how much YOU can do. If V's parents are doing something abusive (like...from a legal standpoint) then what I would suggest is to have V's friend who lives nearby report them. But ONLY do that if you're sure you can prove the abuse. Because if not, that'll just piss them off more.

If you can't prove abuse, then the best thing to do, sadly, is to wait. Because if you keep trying to contact her, her parents could see and it could make them angrier. Try to stay in contact with her through her friend to know she's okay and leave it at that. I'm sure she'll eventually find a way to contact you <3

________________________

Justify Anon

Hi, it's justify anon again (sorry)

So one of my close school friends had to fly out to another country the other day because her grandpa was ill (it's the middle of the term, so not really convenient) and I found out this morning that he died. You don't have to answer this if it's triggering or upsetting or anything, but if you do, I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some advice on how to be there for her when she comes back.

Thank you, I hope you have a great day <3

Hi <3

I think just reminding her that you're there to talk to, and also asking questions about good memories of him. I've found that people who've lost loved ones tend to like to talk about the good times, like relive good memories. So you can be there to listen to those <3

_________________

Confession ig anon

I'm just gonna put the first part of your ask

hey cas, I've sent some asks before but under a diff name, because this isn't smth I want to really talk about a lot it's just kind of a confession ig?

Okay I'm not trying to negate your feelings at all, but i'm going to very gently suggest that maybe you're confusing enjoying attention with actual feelings. It's okay to enjoy attention, but that doesn't mean you have genuine feelings of attraction, you know? And like you said...hormones can do crazy things. I say this because when you mention him, you have only talk about how he treats you, not anything about him or who he is as a person.

So maybe you can keep in mind how you like to be treated, and look for someone who treats you that way, that you also like as a person and is healthy for you.

______________________

Guess Anon

Hi Cas,

Guess Anon here

It's okay that you didn't see it - I was debating sending this for a good week before I saw him and only plucked up the courage the night before so its mostly my fault - I know you get a lot of asks as well too.

I just don't want him to find out that I'm repeatedly lying to him cause that'll make him more and more angry, and trust me that isn't safe.

Luckily my sister goes back to University soon, and generally he only sees us when its the both of us rather than just one kid, so hopefully I wont have to see him until whenever my sister visits. I also rely on him a bit (?) He pays like £13 child support per kid per month - but only if the kid is in education, hence why he's still paying for my sister thats in Uni - which means as soon as he knows that I'm not in college, my mum will receive £13 less - which yes, isnt much, but also we are really poor. He could pay more and I know he could, when we go out he's always buying me and my sister stuff (probably to lovebomb(?) us into hanging out with him)

I hope that when he finds out, he isn't violent, but this is the man that was very violent to me when I was a baby, so I know my hopes wont mean shit to him.

When he finds out, and if he is angry, I will probably message you if thats okay, and I'll come off of anon (obv you probably know who it is already, this is more for when you share it etc)

Thank you again Cas

Yes please keep me updated! Just remember that whatever you need to do to stay safe- lying, staying away from him, whatever, is totally valid. You don't owe him anything.

[fleurelinathehybrid]

💛[Chapter 5: Side Effects]💛

As soon as he arrived at his kingdom, Morpheus realized that he had to resolve a bigger lawsuit than those he had pending. Fortunately, he no longer felt any discomfort caused by the indisposition he suffered from those strange chocolates that appeared on his throne. Matter that he had to fix later, but that he would not forget.

Lucienne appeared to tell what happened with that fugitive nightmare; along with Matthew, who said that Constantine was furious about the situation caused and that that creation was kept as a precaution in one of his offices. Immediately, he slipped into the dream of the poor novice who was the victim of such similar torture, in order to entrust a dream with calming her disturbed mind.

He then proceeded to correct the inappropriate behavior of his runaway nightmare. One that was capable of making the dreamer believe that his mind was playing tricks on him or making him see things that were not real. Abuse of that nightmare could lead to what humans often call "dementia." The nightmare was stubborn, but not persistent enough to challenge him and he accepted the proposed punishment for his fault.

Morpheus, immediately remembering what he had put off, goes to his workshop with the purpose of continuing with his new creation. He was nowhere near reaching his workshop.

Until he felt a stab in his belly, strong enough to make him fall to his knees in pain and gag.

As best he could, Dream stood up and took long strides to the bathroom of his palace.

He reached the toilet, on his knees, gasping from exhaustion and pain. He was breathing tiredly, until he retched. Seconds later, he began to vomit. Arch after arch, the Eternal lost strength to lean on the toilet.

"What the hell is happening to me?"

He asked himself terrified, he didn't know how, but I think he knew why.

He had to check it, but now he had to wait until he was physiologically at peace. He may need the help of one of his siblings. He didn't like the idea very much, but he saw it as necessary. He had to call her, the only one of his siblings he could trust.

—Death… —he vomits again, panting heavily. —Please, sister… Help me.

It didn't take long for him to answer the call and appear. The second sister appeared, with her black tank top, jeans, leather boots and her distinguished seal; a silver Ankh hanging from his neck, which greatly highlights his dark complexion and black wavy hair.

As soon as they looked at each other, worry took over her. She got to his level and grabbed his shoulder, scared.

—Dream, I'm here. —She began to speak to him in a soft voice. —What happened? Are you OK?

—Sister, please don't make fun. —He retches again, feeling a gentle massage on his lower back. —But... I think I fell for their jokes again.

The anthropomorphic personification of Death was trying to make his poker face to know exactly what he was referring to, but his concern for his little brother's health was much stronger than that. She had to help him.

—It was Desire again, right? —Questions Death, making Morpheus look at her with teary eyes showing genuine shame for confessing that. —And now what did they did to you?

The Prince of Nightmares sighs, seeking to calm the swirling in his stomach. —I'm going to show you. It's in my chambers.

Without thinking or asking, Death takes Dream's arm to stand him up and lead him out of his bathroom. Already outside, Lucienne appears, worried about her Lord's condition and surprised by the presence of Death. The explanation is quick, making Lucienne understand that she was now in charge of the kingdom while her king rested.

Now they were in Morpheus' room who was sitting on his bed, along with Matthew, who not recently had noticed his lord acting strange (confessing that he was the one who notified Lucienne of his condition).

—Matthew... —he gasped, too tired to even speak. —The box is on the little table over there. —He points to the little table in the corner of the room.

The raven flew to where its boss indicated, took the empty gift box that was there with its claws and flew with it until it left the box on the bed, a few centimeters near Death; and then he withdrew from his king's chambers. The eldest sister was dumbfounded, her eyes square. She noticed a small note taped to the box. She read it.

She closed her eyes, holding her breath. She so badly wanted to hit two of her siblings. The first was Desire, and there was no need to ask why. That rogue beggar was a pain in the butt for many, and to make matters worse they always had fun when they did it. As soon as she managed to figure out what the fuck they had done, she would go to their kingdom and give them a strong pull on the ear until she took them to the Destiny's realm (even if he used their cat ears to mock, she would pull them too).

And the second, he was squeezing his belly with his hands due to the strong pain he was feeling. He deserved a hit and the karma he was receiving at that moment, but she wouldn't be so cruel to him because of the amount of patience she had for him.

—You knew from the beginning it couldn't have been me, right? —Death asks him with a raised eyebrow.

Dream looked at her, tearing up. —I know. And yet I feel like an idiot. —He gritted his teeth because of the pain.

Death smiled defeated. He gave his foolish brother a hug, earning a small sob from him in response. —Now, now. It's already happened.

Dream hid his forehead in his sister's neck, due to the pain and shame that came from his heart, releasing tears because of the pain that was already unbearable.

—Do you want to tell me how it happened? —Dream lifts his head from Death's neck, to look at her with his reddened eyes and a little blushing with shame.

—After solving some problems with my subjects, I found… the box of chocolates on top of my throne. —he confesses nervously. —I saw the note, it said that you had brought them to me. —wipes his tears and blows his nose. —I thought it was you because you're the only one who's always there for me, and I wasn't thinking about anyone else.

That filled Death with joy, he couldn't help but give Dream a hug. This made him smile.

This smile lasts very little. —As soon as I opened the box, I saw them. I took one and ate it. Then another. And another, and another, and another. And when I realized… I had eaten the entire box.

He had said that last thing, all embarrassed and about to cry again, it had been childish and selfish behavior for an endless adult.

—I left the box in my room and prepared to continue with my work in my kingdom. —His voice began to falter. —And I felt the pains, these were easy to bear. Until they increased and I decided to take a break to appease them. I also had a headache.

—Ok, maybe that's your karma because you ate the package of chocolates and didn't save one for me.

—Death! —Morpheus complained.

—Okay, okay! I was just joking. —the brunette laughed.

Dream looks at her reproachfully. —Afterwards, I decided to take a nap, to relieve the headache.

Death, trying to find a hidden point in his brother's story, stood up and looked him in the face.

—How long did your nap last, Dream?

That took him by surprise. —Huh?

—How long did your nap last? —he asked again. —Are you sure you fell asleep and didn't get up again?

That question had left him dismayed. To be honest, what he consciously remembers was that. However, that didn't explain a recent thing.

How the hell had he appeared in Hob Gadling's room? And in his bed, completely naked?

Immediately, everything fell into place. That and more hazy memories of that night came to his mind. And everything started to go to hell.

What the hell was in the chocolates?

Why had he fallen so low?

Why would Desire do this to him?

To see him suffer?

To get revenge?

What would he say to Hob?

What had he done?

—Dream? —Death, confused, takes her younger brother's shoulder.

Dream looks up, with thick tears running down his eyes and his lips trembling. Death worries.

—Sister, I think… I did something damn crazy.

[detailtilted]

hi! I'm sorry if you've talked about this before, but I've been wondering how you enhance the spn con videos. like, how does it work? cause your videos look amazing, especially in comparison to the previous footage!

Thank you so much for being interested enough to ask!

At a very high level, the visual enhancements to the original videos themselves are made by running an upscaling program and then manually adjusting color-related settings in my video editing software. Sometimes I also fix aspect ratios if the original videos are squished.

Below are way more details than you probably ever wanted. 😅 I’ll put my very long answer after a break...

Upscaling

The very first thing I do when I start a new video is to take all the video sources I can find, pick out the ones I think I'm most likely to want to use, and see if I can get them to upscale. This is actually one of the easiest parts of the whole process, at least in terms of the actual time that I myself have to put into it. The computer does most of the work.

The upscaling is done through a software program. I don't actually have any idea, but I imagine it might be a dumbed down version of the type of software that movie studios use when they create upscaled Blu-ray releases of older films. I know the obvious question is, “What’s the software program?” I’m a little scared to say it without some explanation first, because it has “AI” in the title. I know and understand (and agree with) why AI is such a hot button today. However, this is not generative AI where it generates a new work out of nothing, and it’s performing a function that a human could not reasonably do.

The way I understand it, it runs an algorithm to analyze all the frames in the video and figure out how it can remove some of the visual “noise” and also add missing details to some frames based on what it finds in other frames. It then updates every single frame in the video. The videos I’m currently working with have 30 frames per second. A 30-minute video would therefore have 54,000 frames. For a human to compare 54,000 frames and make all the tiny changes required to each one would be… impossible I think. So anyway, after that long preamble, the name of the software I’m using is “Topaz Video AI”.

There are a variety of settings you can tweak, so I focus on upscaling one video source at a time because the same settings that work with one source may not work for a different source recorded with different equipment. I try different combinations of settings to small sections of the video until I find settings that seems to return noticeably improved results without adding any weird distortions. Sometimes I have to give up and proclaim the task impossible. If the video has too much noise and/or not enough good detail already there for it to work with, then it won’t upscale well. I get much, much better results with original video files than I do with files from YouTube. I think the videos were compressed when they were uploaded to YouTube and lost some of their quality.

If I find a setting that works, I tell the software to apply those settings to all of the videos from the source I'm currently working on and then leave my computer to crunch through them. That can take hours, and it makes my computer sound like it's preparing for liftoff, but it doesn’t require my involvement. I’ll often let it run overnight, then check it the next day to see if it came out ok. Sometimes I have to go back to the drawing board because I find parts of it didn’t come out well at all, but usually if the sample looked good then the full result also looks good.

Then I take my next video source (another set of videos recorded by a different person on different equipment) and repeat the process.

Color Corrections

This is all done in my video editing software. I’ve been using Adobe Premiere Pro. There’s free software out there that might be a better choice. I tried one early on and didn’t do very well with it, but I had no idea what I was doing. Video editing is new to me. So for me, the advantage of using a very popular software program was that there are tons of answers out there for just about every question I’ve ever thought to ask. Now that I have more experience, maybe I’ll give some of the free options another try. I have to decide whether or not to renew my current license at the end of the year and the price is pretty crazy, especially considering it's only for a limited period of time.

So… back to color corrections. My original attempts at this did not start out well. My first set of videos were the CHICON 2007 videos and those colors looked fine to me, so it never even occurred to me to adjust colors. When I moved on to Comic-Con 2008, I was confronted by a bunch of badly red-tinted and green-tinted videos and I thought, “Hmm, I wonder if this video editing software can do anything about that.”

And I tried. I drove myself absolutely mad. I’m not good with colors in general, I’d never worked with color adjustment settings before, and my eyes were going crazy trying to figure out if I was making things better or if I was just creating a new variety of bad. I put out a plea for opinions/advice here on Tumblr with some screen shots showing what I’d done so far, and sensitivehandsomeactionman came to my rescue. They took one of my screen shots and adjusted the colors in their own software to show me what could be achieved. And it looked amazing. Having that example to reference was a huge help. It was still a challenge for me, but I eventually got pretty close to what they did.

I’m not as good at it on my own, but I learned a lot through that process that I’ve been able to apply to my subsequent videos. I think every video I’ve worked with since then has had at least slightly wonky colors, so I've had a lot more practice. There are a bunch of complicated color-related settings in Adobe, but eventually I found the “Lumetri Color” panel which has a simpler set of set of controls consisting of a few sliders that let you adjust between two opposites until you find the right balance.

One slider is for Exposure and it basically changes the lighting from darker to lighter. Then there are two color-related sliders. One shifts between blue and orange and the other shifts between green and purple. I play around with those sliders until I think the colors look more natural, focusing mostly on their skin tone. Then if needed, I’ll adjust the Saturation slider a little to tone things down. For the most part, playing with those 4 sliders usually gets me something that I think looks decent.

Some videos are more difficult than others though, and I still consider this to be very much outside my wheelhouse. When I announce a new video on Tumblr, I usually display a comparison image of the original video versus the enhanced. Those help me see that the end result does in fact look at least a little better than the original. Sometimes after staring at the video for hours on end, I start to doubt.

If there are any wonky aspect ratios making the video look squished, that’s a really easy fix by just changing the scale percentages for that video in my video editing software.

All The Rest of the Work

All those things I just babbled about probably take up only 25% of the time I spend on each video. Less if the videos don't give me much trouble with upscaling or color adjusting. I could write another book about the rest of the process, but what I've already typed is probably overkill as it is so I'll try to be brief since this stuff isn't as much about the visuals anyway.

This is when I move on to the process of choosing which videos to display at which times and editing everything together into one (hopefully) cohesive video. I also try to choose the clearest audio that covers most of the panel. Audio changes are very noticeable, so I try to minimize them and use a single audio throughout the whole video as much as possible. Often the audio you’re hearing was from a different video than the one you’re seeing.

Once I have all the footage edited together, that’s when I start adding the subtitles and the extra content. These things are by far the most time-consuming part of the process, especially the subtitles.

I hope this answered your question. Thanks again for asking! If I didn't answer your question and if you want to risk having another book typed to you, let me know. 😅

[hetalia-club]

Another rant about my ex hopefully the last one ever as I decided in some self reflecting to distance myself from him entirely, hopefully not even acquaintances.

I need to vent to someone, the problem is I don't have anyone I'm comfortable enough IRL to share all this with without them giving me those sad eyes and a 'there there'. So I'm using my blog. You don't have to read this. feel free to scroll on by. If you don't get triggered easily I would like if you did, you don't have to give me feed back or advice, I'm not looking for that. I'm mostly wanting to get what he did to me in the open so I can hopefully move on with my life. Throwing it into the void of the internet is better than writing it into a book and locking it in a drawer forever. People have to know how terrible he was to me. He shouldn't get off scot-free and have happiness while I still suffer. I tried to keep this as vague as possible and I'm not going to go into deep detail of all my abuse because a lot of it I still don't want to face for myself. Tw for abuse of all kinds. If you read this and at any point think "Hey that sounds kind of like my relationship." This is your wake up call to run far far away and not look back.

I Would just like to put it out there that I am NOT still in love with my ex. I hate that mother fucker. I hate that I probably gave him a confidence boost by trying to get back together. He does not deserve that. He deserves to be as miserable as he made me for 5 years. I genuinely believe he is objectively a terrible person. I know him very well and he is a very manipulative person. I don't think he truly cares about anyone but himself. I think the only reason he wants a GF is for someone to take care of his house chores and 'other' needs. That's it. He does not enjoy being in relationships. He does not like having serious conversations and he is mean as hell when you try and make him do something he does not want to do...which is anything. And he also won't tell you he didn't want to do it until after he did it and then he'll make your life miserable all week.

Was I just 'jealous' that he moved on? No, I don't think that's even correct really. I Truly think I'm petty and I don't want him to be happy. I want him to stay alone and miserable because that's all he deserves really. He mentally abused me for actual years why should he get to have a new girlfriend? He doesn't deserve one. He also STILL has not told me he's seeing anyone which I find INSANE because he texts me all the time. I normally reply lately I've been ignoring him. I know now that I mentioned getting back together he thinks I 'want him' and he gets off on the idea that I'm 'waiting around for him'. Well truly it couldn't be further from the truth. I think I hate him. I hate how he treated me, I hate how he moved on and I hate how he refuses to tell me, I hate his stupid Jeep Truck, I hate his temper, I hate his stupid uggo face, I hate his body, I hate his mustache he never trims no matter how many times I asked, I hate how he would bully me into crying and then once I started crying he would tell me I was over reacting and try and frame it like I were the crazy one and I would believe that I was. You don't have to beat someone to abuse them....Right? No he wouldn't do that...he loves me, he says so all the time so he must mean it, right? Some men are more upfront about their abuse, others hide it in crafty little ways eating away at you until you believe you are the problem. It MUST be you right? He keeps saying so. I mean... he's never hit you. He's never threatened you or scared you, he's never hurt you, or has he? Honestly you can't really remember, but it doesn't sound like something he would do. And he said he didn't. You're just over reacting like he says. You're hysterical. You need help. You should get therapy to make his life easier. You should stop bothering him so much with 'relationship problems' that you probably caused. You're such a bad partner. You're lucky he's with you. Who would want to be? You're actually crazy! You're losing your mind. He said jump, now ask him how high. He bought you designer clothes, how could he be abusive? He spent so much money on you! So what if he just wants you to do 'a little something' to pay him back for it later? It's not asking much. Those sunglasses were 600 dollars. It's just thirty minutes of your life it'll be over soon, don't be dramatic. Oh my god! It's not even that big of a deal you're over reacting again. He said he loves you, if you love him you should give him these things he wants, he gives you what you want, right? right?

Just a small story to help you understand the kind of relationship I was in for 5years. One weekend he asks me if I want to go out to eat. I agree. He tells me I can pick the place. I say I want Outback. I was super into Cheese Fries these few months and they have really good ones. He said okay. Didn't say it didn't sound good or maybe we eat someplace else. He said it sounded good and he would pick me up at 7, cool.

He picks me up and we're talking about dumb shit on the way to town we live in the middle of nowhere so it's a 45 minute drive to any decent civilization. Well about half way there I just casually ask him if he called ahead at Outback. This was right after Covid when everything just started to open back up, so places were doing limited seating, so I knew we would have to call or there was no way we would get a table. He said that, "yes" he did in fact call and he told them 8. After he said this our previous conversation just sort of stopped I would say something and he would give me like a one word answer but he was being really quiet. I knew something was up but didn't pry because he doesn't like that.

We get to Outback, go inside and I ask him. "did you give them your name?" as we wait in line at the host booth. He straight ignores me, pretends i didn't say a word. We finally get up there and i look at him and he just stars ahead at noth and I'm like "Um 2 for 8 under *his last name*" The lady was like "Yeah we don't have anything for 2 at eight at all." I look at him and i was like "Didn't you call?" And he was like "Hua? What? No..." And I was like. "Dude you said you called when i asked you in teh car?" and he goes. "You never asked me if i called, if you did i would have told you no." And i was like. "Why are you lying? I'm not stupid you can't tell me i didn't ask you that it was 20 minutes ago my memory isn't that bad. and he goes. "Okay well I didn't call!" In a loud whisper and then I look to teh lady and was like do you have anything? And she was like it's a 2 hour wait.

So I'm pissed obviously, he's pissed for whatever reason. We leave and when we get back in the car I was like. "Why did you lie to me about something so stupid?" And he starts SCREAMING. Telling me "He knew this would happen" That "I'm just mad because I didn't get my way" That I'm "Spoiled" and "I know you're just mad because we can't eat at Outback you always get this way about food!" and you know I was pretty pissed we were no longer eating at Outback seeing how he told me I could pick the place and I told him I wanted cheese fries. But I was mainly pissed that he just lied to me about something so dumb to my face and like I wouldn't find out when we got there. So he's yelling at me and I'm just sort of meekly trying to plead my case while he flies off the handle like a crazy person over something so dumb. And I was like "Just take me home, I don't want to be here anymore." he panics and was like. "I'm not taking you home I drove all this way to eat I'm not wasting money on gas because you're throwing a bitch fit. Pick somewhere else." So I picked Roadhouse, they also have cheese fries, not as good but beggars can't be choosers. I could tell that this choice irritated him. But he begrudgingly called and I could hear the phone conversation because it was just me and him in the car and the guy on the phone said it was only a 45 minute wait. He got of the phone and looked me in teh eyes and lied to me again saying they said "it was a two hour wait there to." I didn't tell him I heard the dude on the phone say only 45 minutes because I didn't know how he would react and honestly. It's been like 30 minutes now of just sitting in the car and him screaming at me so I'm just like "Pick anywhere I don't fucking care I would rather you took me home but just pick someplace. I will eat road kill at this point if we can just stop fighting" He insisted I pick so I was like "Okay Chilies, let's go there no one is ever there." They also have cheese fries, and our Chilies sucks so there truly is no one ever there idk how they are even still open, I believe it may be some sort of Mafia front, that is the only explanation. The parking lot is always empty.

Then he flips it... See this is how you start to see just how he would wear me down mentally until I just gave up. He goes. "Why do you always get to pick the place we eat?" And I was like "You told me to!" And he was like "Only because You'll get mad if I say anything about where we eat, see you're so mad at me now because we can't eat at Outback like you wanted everything is about you. You never ask where I want to eat." And I was like. "OMG WTF are you talking about!?" which was the first time I raised my voice this entire conversation. So he starts punching the steering wheel over and over again. So hard that the car is literally shaking and he broke the volume control button on his steering wheel. I'm just sitting there looking at him like 😒 when he stops there is like five minutes of silence as he just glares ahead of us in the parking lot and he goes. "How about *insert name of our local sushi place*" And I'm like "That's fine, let's just go anywhere." Then. There is a complete 180 on his personality. He's all smiles on the drive there, opening up a conversation about something (can't remember what) and I'm still seething inside because, that was all so stupid and immature. When we get there it's an hour and 1 1/2 wait and he tells the guy "yeah that's fine we'll wait" Like fuck you...we could have stayed at Outback. I still want French fries you bitch you took me to maybe the one place in town I can't order cheese fries, the whole reason we are out tonight, because I told you I was craving cheese fries. He took me to the bar and he was all flirty and he bought me an expensive drink with his typical. "Anything you want baby" Okay sure anything I want except fucking cheese fries, I guess! This is how he would get when he were trying to show off. But it was all just a mask he could take on and off as easily as normal people blink their eyes. I asked him. "So what was that punching the steering wheel all about?" And he was like. "What do you mean?" And I was like. "How you were repeatedly punching the steering wheel, why were you doing that? Was that supposed to be me or what?" Well if you guessed denial and gaslighting you would be right, though it happened less than 2 hours ago. According to him "I never did that. what are you talking about? I mean I put my hand on the steering wheel but I never punched it." So I dropped it. Why argue with someone who is a pathologically liar? We fought a lot because I never knew when he was telling me the truth because he would lie all the time about the dumbest shit, stuff he KNEW I was there for, conversations he denied happening. Ones I could literally prove with text messages and he would tell me, you took that the wrong way.

These are the kind of fights we had CONSTANTLY. (Along with some other bigger ones involving other things) So yes. They did start to feel normal. Being told I didn't know what I was talking about when I knew better was just a weekly occurrence. I always assumed he was lying to me. He eventually succeeded in convincing me I was 'crazy' and I went and got a major increase on my medication, with the promise from him that he would go to therapy for his anger issues, never happened. He all but forced me to go get on the birth control shot because I couldn't take the pill, it makes me violently ill and I have morning sickness while on it and am miserable every day. And the shot absolutely destroyed my hormones and I don't think my body ever recovered from it to this day. Which he assured me he would pay for, and then after the third shot I asked to him why hasn't he paid me back he claims this never happened and he never said he would pay for my birth control and why would he? It's not his birth control (okay crazy was of looking at it, i guess this is only for me then) So I told him I was going to go off of it because it was 300 bucks every month and I had to drive all the way to Fort Wayne to a woman's clinic. He said "No don't go off it I'll pay" he paid for it once, saw how much it was and was like "Fuck that" Also funnily enough the shot made me lose ALL attraction to him. Once it got regulated in my system I and nothing for him anymore, he disgusted me. Everything he said and did gave me the ick. I was in denial for about 2 years and tried to convince myself I did find him attractive and that it would come back eventually, never did. Both of these were medical abuse btw, I am aware of that now.

So as you can imagine as I was not attracted to him anymore I hardly wanted to sleep with him. But he would guilt trip me for it until I would feel bad and just do whatever he wanted. Even going as far as to mess with me in my sleep, I would pretend I didn't know but I did. It always made me so sad that the next morning he would act as though nothing happened, I know he knew I was awake, I am an extremely light sleeper. It's almost like he liked the idea that I didn't say anything to him about it. But he also knew I wouldn't say anything because I don't like confrontation and I knew he would deny it anyway. And this is just straight up SA

The entire idea of a new relationship to me now just feels so...what's the word I want? Tainted maybe? I don't think I believe in romantic love. I don't think he deserves love. I also don't think he's capable of giving love. I don't think he'll ever change, he has told me before. "This is who I am and I'm not changing for you or anybody." he truly believes he is a nice and good person which is the worst part. He thinks he's just fine the way he is. That everyone else is the problem. But the way I see it there is a common denominator. I should have realized when we first got together that his apprehension to tell me about ANY of his past girlfriends was odd. Not even their names. I still don't know who he's all dated or how many people or anything. Even if he insisted I give him my entire sexual history basically on the first month of our relationship. But I ask him who his last GF was and he gets all "You shouldn't be asking me that, the past is the past, don't worry about it" I thought that was weird he didn't even want to tell me names your GF knowing who your most current ex is, is not weird, it's very normal. He never spoke about them, it was like they never existed. But I knew he dated a girl with a kid once. I asked him about it and he pretended to not know who I was talking about, of course surprise surprise. Before we got together I overheard his cousin at a party say that he is a "very sneaky guy and a liar". She didn't say it in a nice way either she said it with a lot of distain like she was speaking from past experience. She was calling him for what he was and I wish I would have absorbed what she had said. I wish I would have asked her "What do you mean?" I wish could go back in time and tell myself not to say yes to a date with him. I should have known that the first time we ever hung out he pressured me to do things even though I pushed him away multiple times and he kept moving his hand back. I should have know he was terrible I should have been able to see it. I hate myself for not seeing it. I would always give him the benefit of the doubt, I would blame myself for not speaking up, not calling him out. But I know it was all him. He had me right where he wanted me, he knew me better than anyone he knew what I wouldn't react to out of social anxiety. I hate myself, but I hate him more for what he's done to the way I look at all men. Oh how I hate them! They all unfairly get blamed for the way he treated me and it's not fair. I hate that I meet a new man and assume he is terrible, a wolf in sheep's clothing. A liar and manipulator. I always wonder, what is he like when he gets mad? What does he think about the word no? I hate it. I've never hated anyone more. The worst part is I can't let him go. He is still in my mind after 7 months he still creeps in and I think about him. I wonder what he's doing, how he's doing. I hate it. And sometimes i miss him. But why? Why do I miss his abuse? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? Why do I fantasies about men who would treat me badly after being with him? Why do I feel like I'm not worthy of being treated like a decent human? Why do I only write relationships that are toxic and depressing with abuse and then apologies only for it to happen again? Is it a way of self therapy or is it something I really secretly desire? Why do I think that's what a relationship should be? Why can't I get him out of my head? Why can't I write cutesy romance with 'love' and kisses, why does it always turn into a tragedy? Why does it not feel like a good 'love' story until I've written abuse in some way? with someone hurting teh others what should be beyond repair for them to just forgive and forget? You all want to know like...the worst part honestly? In hindsight he kinda ugly fuckin' tho, fucking tragic. Like he's not even hot. What's the damn point.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

https://www.tumblr.com/proshippers-against-censorship/749092539698757632/see-thats-specifically-what-i-was-talking-about?source=share

First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry for how offended I sounded in this post. I was offended, and honestly, I still am. I don't understand how any logical person can genuinely consider pedophilia to be such a non-issue as in the reblog you shared, and it terrifies me. The fact people can not only say things like that, but it's a widely shared opinion in this community is specifically why I don't feel safe in proship circles anymore. I've tried to put my thoughts together in a (hopefully) clearer manner.

I think there are some subjects that inherently don't deserve to be treated with polite discussion the same way most do.

You don't debate with people about transphobia or racism because making it a debate implies it's even something that needs to be considered from "the other side" at all, and I think pedophilia needs to be treated the same way. What pedophiles think shouldn't matter in the same way that what homophobes think doesn't matter. I hope we can agree that the fact we've gotten to a point where what rights gay people deserve is considered a political topic is horrible, and I believe we've gotten to that point in part because engaging with the subject at all lends credibility to it. It's a relevant/correct enough opinion that it has to be argued about, and that puts their foot in the door.

Whether or not pedophilia is objectively bad shouldn't even be a discussion, let alone one so widespread and pressing in this community that almost everyone has a statement about it somewhere on their blog. Echo chambers aren't beneficial to anyone when there's a conversation to be had and outside perspectives to consider about a given topic. But you can't seriously engage with people who try to defend pedophilia (offending or not) in the same way that you wouldn't consider the viewpoints of people talking about how they think being gay is immoral. We cannot lend credence to what these people think, and treating the discussion like a debate to be had at all gives them all the validity they need.

These are dangerous things to be posting. I know you probably get the words "normalization" and "politicization" thrown at you a lot, but that's what you're doing by posting/reblogging things like that. Trying to make pedophilia seem like something that shouldn't define a person and isn't innately bad or immoral is normalizing pedophilia, and considering their points at all is politicizing pedophilia. Of course, you as one blog runner aren't going to suddenly make everyone believe that pedophilia isn't that bad, but I don't think it's a coincidence it's such a common sentiment in this community. Nowhere else even engages with the idea, so it doesn't surprise me that neutral/positive feelings toward actual, real pedophiles is all too common here.

There are some things that don't need to be given the dignity of being an argument to be considered, and I believe pedophilia is one of them. You don't genuinely listen to or consider whether Jewish space lasers caused the California wildfires because that's objectively an insane thing to say out loud. Nobody hears that and thinks, "Well, I should at least hear what they have to say to back it up, maybe they can say something insightful." I think we should treat people trying to defend pedophilia with the same attitude.

I've noticed how normal it's treated as in this community, and I mentioned the slip backwards in my original ask. The general consensus on "para discourse" keeps going farther little by little and it scares the living shit out of me. First, I was told that proshippers don't support attraction to real children. Then, I saw that far too large a chunk of the proship community are actually attracted to real children and self-identify as MAPs. Then, I was told they were deeply ashamed and used their blogs to vent about their sicknesses and would never seek out contact with children. And now, I'm being told it actually is okay for pedophiles to be in contact with kids and that they shouldn't feel ashamed of it. We keep walking backwards as a community, and I don't feel safe or comfortable with it anymore.

If you (proshippers in general) don't want people to assume you're a pedophile when there's a community-wide pattern of pedophilia apology and normalization, you have to be loud about disavowing them and excommunicating them from your community. You can't be in a community that's 1/5 pedophiles, defend them with your platform, and welcome them into your spaces with open arms, and then be shocked when people assume you're a pedophile too. Especially when that pattern drives out people who are also staunchly anti-pedophile. It's a serious problem I don't see many people try to do anything about. There are awful people everywhere, but I've never seen a group where they're so loud and visible with it. The fact they feel comfortable doing so here is another testament to how normalized it is in this community, and you as a community really shouldn't let it get any worse. You shouldn't tolerate sharing a space with pedophiles.

-anti anon

A big thing you still have to keep in mind is that paraphilias are not controllable. You don't wake up one day and decide you want to have a piss kink or a sadist kink or anything of the sort. It just kind of happens. And the big three paras are the same way. It's not quite something you choose.

But what you can control is the damage that occurs because you have that paraphilia. Just because you're into piss doesn't mean you are going to piss on your non-consenting partner. Just because you're into sadism doesn't mean you are going to hurt your non-consenting partner. Just because you have a big three para doesn't mean you're going to actually engage with the subject of those paras.

And that's what should be endorsed. Because, frankly, not endorsing anti-contact kink/para acceptance goes against something else I'm also very much so about - harm reduction. Acceptance leads to finding healthy outlets. A lack of acceptance often leads to unhealthy outlets and harm.

And I don't want to ever find myself on the side that leads to the most harm. And frankly, neither should anybody else.

It's like dog cropping. Keep it legal or you'll end up with backyard hack jobs.

[lynaferns]

I hope next year I can take things slowly and just be able to draw calmly. I want to experiment more with my artstyle.

My DCA hyperfixiation is not dying anytime soon but it's been slowing down this year and I had the biggest artblock of my life. Not like when I was a kid and didn't draw for a month straight and I was like 'meh, not big deal', I didn't have anxiety at the time so it was like, whatever, y'know but this time it's been so difficult to draw over the months, having a million ideas but feeling burned out all the time to draw.

Finally being able to focus more on my OCs is helping out so I hope next year gets better and I start going to therapy again (aparently I got evaluated as asperger and not autims when I was a teen wich means they put me in the 'low needs' group :) so they didn't gave me the help I needed :))) because I wasn't autistic enough :)))))) so we are looking to have me evaluated again, obtain the correct 'autims tag' and see a private psicologist, hopefully not like the last one (: )

*cough cough* I'm also looking forwards to open my first commisions sometime next year *cough* 'cause I've been pushing it at a side for the last years because of a lot of stress and not feeling confident enough and because talking to people scares me and I've had the the commisions table ready since two years and edited it like four times gonna do it a fifth time because *cries* and I'm still not very confident because is not the same drawing for myself than drawing for others a character that I'm not into so is not gonna have the same cuality as a character that I like and know about and I don't even know how I'm going to time manage each commision becuse the time it takes me to make a drawing is a desicion betwen God and the stars and my possible ADHD idk man the lady I talked to about my autims gave me a few looks and coments like I had it bad because I- *coughs and dies*

[visionthefox]

So yeah nice eclipse lived.

Eclipse is dead he really sounded tired and Solar Flare was like " let it go and let's move on" or something along those lines (notice I'm not that good at remembering the correct words but it get the idea through) but still Eclipse was trying to explain to moon what is going to happen if he didn't kill Lunar but didn't listen he was being sassy towards him, moon also mentioned that if he wasn't the cause of everything he could still have his memories and magic. Eclipse proceeded to tell moon like "you need to understand if sun dies it's on you" idk if he was trying to make him feel bad in that aspect but moon didn't budge in. Once dead Solar Flare told him that "He was just like old moon he cared in his own way, and that if he was nicer or tried to change people might've listened to him" also the star is destroyed and like nice eclipse said he can literally build a new one to which moon replied with a no.

Now Eclipse mentioned that Lunar was going to be screwing things up with moon, sun and others, my question is what did he see?

mmh honestly, I feel like I would have a hard time paying any attention as my braid gets fried hahah but when you guys explain it, it make it sound way cooler than may really be! sdsads so .. Eclipse is gone - part of me think he will come back. other thinks they will use Ruin as the new bad guy.. in any case.. I feel like, even IF - Eclipse saw a terrible future.. he cant be stupid enough to think anyone will trust him, no matter how desperate or scare he sounds - he should know better.. maybe use a puppet, a shadow, a forced vision into Moon's mind to make HIm see what will happend.. but nah- also, I undertand if Solar think that way - but also, ppl seem to forget Eclipse was also infected by the Kill code, that and lots of reason more as to why Eclipse was that mess up (then again, what he did is terrible, but not out of the blue- the dude is mess up no matter what sad BG he had - but the BG is important to understang what he did) expecting a bad person to one day - change - is not that smart..if anything, being left alone - with no one to be there for him - maybe in pain from the star -slowly dying- maybe alone with guilt, and just seeying how even if he Won. . he is not a winner.. maybe that finally took Eclipse to think "maybe... I can do things better" as for Lunar.. all I know is that Puppet put him back together.. now.. who is Puppet in this universe? is Lunar the real one? or someone made to trick ppl? I feel like whatever Eclipse saw.. may not be actually that bad - but the VA need to hype things up haha I really hope they get rid of the magic too.. is never used in a natural way.. or logical way.. anyways, thanks you for your ask and time!! <3

[softue]

I'm not enough

TLDR; I don't feel like I'm enough for you, I hate myself and how much of a lazy piece of shit I am. You could do better even though I want to try and be better for you. I'm not enough for you, not in a like, you need more. I'm just not good enough, and it's not your fault. It's mine, I'm a bum who sits around with the hopes of the fucking world but once it's time to act I crumble under the pressure. I get in my head and over think, ruining my chances at a happy life. You deserve better and no matter how much I tell myself "I'll be better" or "I'll get this done, I'll do it for them" I just don't believe it. I'm a quitter, all my life it's all I've done. I quit school and cooked my brain, I quit my friends and let them go, I quit my health and let it slip. All my life I said it's whatever, giving up on it like the bum I am. You could do better, that's why I get so worried about you figuring that out. I don't have much to offer, most shit will rot away with me. I don't deserve you, I never have and I know it. You know it, you know you could do better. I wonder why you keep me around, the real reason. You might like my attention or the option. It's not my looks, figured that out a while ago. I don't really bring anything, just entertainment and a pastime. All I'm good for, if I'm being honest. To Be honest, I didn't accidently burn myself on a stove. Sorry I lied, I was going to tell you but I don't need you worrying about me or having that mental ideal about me. Honestly I hate myself, I hate my skin, I hate my hair, I hate my eyes. God my fucking eyes, I hate the way they rest, makes me look tried/weak. I hate everything, and it's my fault. Most of it? I can't control being black, but I can control my weight and hair health. I let myself go, it's my fault. Most things are, cause I'm a quitter.

I'm going nowhere, fuck the idea of 100T or streaming. I'm shit at val, worst of the worst. I can't maintain a streaming schedule cause I'm so fucking lazy. Every life schedule I try to make ends up failing me, well not failing me, I fail it. I fail everything, hell right now I'm supposed to be doing my chem shit. Finishing it off, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I try to find hope and reason to live but every time I do it gets stripped from me. I hate my brain and I'd rather paint it on a wall then live with it in my skull. Don't worry though, I'm too pussy to kill myself, I think. I'm a fucking mess, and empty shell of a human. Sometimes I wonder if I treat you like my mom, like when you say "I'm not your mother". I have to take a step back and think, because I don't want you to feel that way. I don't need one, and I'm not looking. I just want someone to love me, yk? It's odd, I have this hole in my chest, this void that needs to be filled. I think it's love? I've tried everything else. Sex made me feel worse. Ignoring it made me want to die even more than I am. God made me feel guilty, still does. Idk man, life's weird. I don't really know how to put it. I'm scared to say it the wrong or right way because I don't want to lose you. That's why I mostly keep my mouth shut, so you don't get mad at me or have to correct me. Makes life easier. You make me want to try though, in life and shit. Which is new, most of the time I get that feeling of contentment. With you I don't, I know I HAVE to be better for you. There isn't a choice, you should have the world, you deserve the world. I want to do my best to give that too you. I just struggle, ig? It's less of a struggle and more of a wave. I wake up with a fire under me and then it slowly dies over a day or two. I get the willpower to live and then lose it. I get how cringe this might sound or how long it's getting. You don't have to read it. I never really write them for you to read them, just to imagine myself having a convo with you and help me clear my clouded mind. I wouldn't post them but it's the chance you read them that gives me that mindset? Like a gamble, idk man. All I know is I want to be the one for you, and I'm still going to try(?) and do my best. Even though my best isn't enough. 

It's not you that makes me feel like I'm not enough, well. Entirely? It's not your fault, its my brain overthinking and shit. Sometimes I feel like you bless me with chances and I keep fumbling them. Over and over. We keep getting into these "ruts" but btw I don't know what to call them. It's happening over and over, almost weekly. Which I feel like makes you not want to talk to me, I'd feel that way. I think, but I don't know. I don't know a lot when it comes to you. You're new to me, whole new ideals and mindset. I'm not used to this, at all. When I say diff mindset I mean like, the whole "Coming home to me" isn't anything I've heard before, and I'm still trying to understand and adjust. Just sounds like an open relationship to me. I think it's not that? I don't know. It's all so new, it's weird. I don't know how to feel or how to act about it or on it. I don't want to change who you are but does that mean I should change who I am? Is one of us right and the other is wrong? Are we both wrong and right? It's all so much, spinning in my mind. I don't want to lose you and I feel like we could work out, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one willing to change. I'm trying to understand your pov but I don't feel like mine is getting seen. When we get into "ruts" and I misinterpret something you say. You say I'm "Putting words into your mouth" but when you do it your just understanding what I said better than I did. I don't like it. I don't like that. It's toxic, even if you don't realize you're doing it. You are. I don't want to argue or anything but I want to be able to speak my mind. I want to be able to have a conversation without you or me getting mad. I get you match energy but I don't do that to you, when you get mad at me and raise your voice I try my hardest to understand you. I get it, you're trying. But I need to get this off my chest. I can feel this mental weight leaving me. as I type. I don't want to ruin your day, or make you mad or cry. I just want to be able to be open. I know I struggle with understanding you when you're open. I'm sorry. I really am, we both have things we need to work on. I'd love to sit down and talk about it, like we planned. A weekly sit down chat about things. Sorry if this ruined your day or your mood.

I feel a lot better. After getting this off my chest. I'm not quitting, at least right now. I'm going to keep trying to be better for you. I know this whole thing is written poorly. Its pacing is weird, but it's how I think. This is straight from my brain. It's easier this way for me to express how I feel. I like you, a lot. I really do care about you, and us. I want to be better for you and myself. Sorry for all the times I've made you mad, or said the wrong thing. I know it's a lot to ask but could you tell me when I do? I never meant for you to feel like a dog, it's not how I meant it. I would have taken it back, trust me. I never want to hurt you like that. With my words or in any way. I'd never say something like that to hurt you, please. Trust me, and tell me so I can make it right. I can't read your mind, like how you can't read mine. Even if you can't tell me right away, please try and tell me at some point after. I don't want you hurting, especially if it's from something I said or did. 

[scentedchildnacho]

Uhm he wanted to know about the motorized bikes if they do it for its inexpense so I said no....their like 600 dollars and up ....i thought they just hate women and enjoy that women died of poverty and deprivation so they could do unsafe awful things

Their capitalist platoons or mai lai incidents they just really hate women....and get into things like Turkish nationalism

Mother God is gone to work with even the illiterate so these types of things back fire mother God would care about the illiterate workers though

The mother God though loves you and wanted you though

It is women counter cultural or other differences would perceive different legislations but iw it is about how much it all hates women

Its women who would treaty the issue uhm places like peets coffee knows they cannot bring bisexual or alternate genders there

Because all gender restrooms finally really batter and kill the bitch

The white light alien knows she was suppose to stop turning down non profit ideas if she was going to public alternate gender activity

No you have to let them go back to private practice women don't have to die supporting every gender

Its for women only to talk about cellulite and work outs so they publicly burn the models and men know their not allowed at those clubs or they wife kill

Well it's men and optical illusion...men know they need transgender stripping ideas and stalk around ass displays like playmates

Its butt and it's only for women to think about these secularisms....we are all of river asylums so

She has to finally do something creepy to the men or its Jesus she isn't dressed to go out and your burning her cannibal

The men stop caring if their perceived as slaughtering playmates so that's why she starts ordering razor wire

Well I suspect it is all just a skam and I will have been really severely psychologically abused but it's just to keep making war money in the mid east and it's just irrational and I don't want to

Anyway mafiaites if they want to hate and blame women illiterate workers become police and he sets up systems of self abuse for them till they learn when they don't hate women a lot of that stops for them

If she wants to prove herself and largely only care about a male domestic abuser....she can buy a high powered bike and scare herself to death get ate up with dogs and hit with cars

Or he is bisexual and he does more choose masculine presences in areas I don't ask pronouns so if he is going to keep stealing things from homeless women like a health club pass to regularly shower he can give it to someone who puts a large tattoo on him....

It's been my experience of California that spa services are taken as very rude requests.....and to not go unless films like the women are correct....if I'm actually from a wealth group that didn't share well with the lady christian who is my masseuse or retailor otherwise it's all into rape punishment.....and as poor and homeless it just gives their practice felonies and im.not sure they arent doing factual things

So I think his tattoo did really hurt and the lotion care applications did give him melanoma or carposi sarcoma like acne

Then they have to put the french cosmetics on it

Dugas is a politic?......

Anyway I just said to him at the time about the bikes that I think they are domestically abused and have never gone through recovery processes to protect themselves because the person who bought the motorized bike claims she is homeless

She can't do anything normal to protect herself like grab a place to stay for a month or purchase her car in advance

She has enough to join a women's military group and may only spend it on getting hit in traffick

So I think they call themselves mental peers and steal it off my program because they can't do anything with it but hurt themselves if it's my programs

Uhm their weird and their told stealing that much off homeless programs will cause COVID clinics so they start slowly getting placed in nightmares out of song of the cell their around indigenous people and appear fooled by the charm and they report people not giving them their developments and this is what it turns them into

I was white and I often report people for turning me into a crowd to klannish watch these executions and see if I can be merciful.....

They create KKK with those types of rejecting of common law ideas then complain when whites are like well you really raped my ass so I know that I don't understand you so I didn't show up at your emergency because you told me my emergency was just a character defect to beat

That's me about what the subtle alliance is in California....if white development and renewal is rejected I get turned into a cannibalistic vampire if indigenous peoples developments and renewals are rejected they get turned into cannibalistic Africans it's that's its that bad sympathy is mostly for just how violent they can make people feel....

They do need to just fly confederate flags then and only do business with their country

She....nya reyes wanted to be a woman and was whipped in all sorts of ways to forcibly serve military duty as a man.....so I think She....figures out he and kind of keeps the kids too

Slaves slave like characters had to grow up in and figure out these post modern counter cultures so

[goron-king-darunia]

It's so hard to pick. All of these are great. Night of the Werehog is honestly a great example of storytelling without dialogue as is, though the same could be said about the other silent shorts. It's a cute vignette deconstructing and playing with horror tropes exploring unwilling transformations with the classic werewolf, why ghosts spend their afterlives scaring people, the Japanese "ghosts can be stopped or at least seen on film cameras" playing on the whole "the supernatural doesn't like to be caught on film" idea across several cultures and beautifully deconstructed with a the whole Polaroid instant pictures being not-so instant. Chip even serves as a bit of a nod to the concept of "Do you think God stays in heaven because he's terrified of what he's created down here on Earth?" bit. I enjoy it a lot.

Sonic Mania Adventures is just a classic Sonic Adventure boiled down nicely into its core tropes with the eternal back and forth of Sonic and Eggman having to outwit each other in increasingly bizarre and over-the-top ways. Bonus Points for Knuckles being classic Knuckles throughout and absolutely YEETING Ray. 10/10 comedy for me, honestly. No Notes. But I am and always will be a Knuckles stan, no matter how badly they Flanderize my boi in the Boom series.

The Holiday Short is also super cute. Showcasing Amy as the sort of character that goes out of her way to extend kindness to people even if they don't deserve it is a nice touch, I think.

Team Sonic Racing Overdrive starts off with so many good gags, I love it! Everything with Big and Knuckles is stellar. Big trying to cross the track in the middle of a kart race to see the Froggy Merch that Eggman put out as bait is top tier and honestly? Me too. Same. Would walk into traffic for some good Froggy Merch. Shadow ramming the Chao squad after they bump him is insane. He would, but holy shit Shadow. Those are babies. Unsure how much of gameplay is actually canon in the universe but don't Chao technically only live to be age 5? And retain their childlike demeanor throughout? I played a crap ton of Chao Garden in SA2 and the only way for your Chao to actually grow to anything above age 5, they have to go through a rigorous training process and at least 2 lifetimes to become immortal Chao, and none of them other than Omochao, who is a robot, are anywhere close to that stage of life. Absolutely nuts, Shadow.

Like, yes, he would take candy from a baby if the need arose. But oh my god, shoving babies. New low for our anti-hero. Team Dark indeed! Shadow narrowing his eyes as he sees Big just casually strolling across the street like "Fine, you're dumb enough to do this so I guess I'm just going to hit you." is also insane. He looks so disappointed in the pileup. He's not even mad that he didn't win or that he crashed. He's just mad that he didn't get to hit a guy who clearly deserved it. I like that it's implied that the casual walk is Big's 'top speed' too. Man knows nothing other than an amble or a stroll. He has no concept of running in this universe. 10/10. And he just grabs everything. Me too, Big. Doing some frog appreciation. Heck yes. And then the honeypot immediately swapping to Chao items and Amy's hammers. Eggman clocked Team Rose like "Shopping therapy will absolutely sideline these goons." He was so correct.

Rouge pegging Knuckles with her Wisp and then immediately crashing and then CAUSING OMEGA TO CRASH TOO while begging for a lift/support is absolutely nuts. She would. Plus the whole tantrum Knuckles threw and then fistbumping Tails so hard he hurt him. Like, bro, Tails is several years younger and several times wimpier than you, don't fist-bump him so aggressively! Then Shadow massively ignoring his own team and Omega imitating Rouge's rage at being out of the race is so funny. "I am sapient but the emotion thing is very new to me. I do not enjoy being out of the race. You do not enjoy being out of the race. You kicked the kart. I will kick the kart too. We are being 'angry' together. Solidarity." And then the fucking karts explode. This short keeps winning.

Eggman being shocked that Shadow wouldn't stop or swerve to avoid hitting the "cat" that is clearly a bot is so fucking funny. As if Shadow wasn't fully ready to mow over Big the cat earlier. The fucking screws just laying in the dirt and the rest of the bot not crashing down is so funny too. Knuckles coming in clutch to muscle in on Shadow like "Quit beating up our youngest team member with your Wisps!" and then giving Tails a triple speed boost while pointedly ignoring Sonic. And the Way Tails just casually looks at Sonic like "._. Uh... Gotta go fast?" before the Wisps kick in. My god the comedic timing here is everything.

Shadow just accepting at the last second that he's going to lose because he got triple rear-ended and just noping out of the kart rather than get hit and just... walking off to the sidelines to pout AND STEAL POPCORN FROM, AGAIN, A LITERAL CHILD AND IGNORING THAT HE MADE THE CHAO CRY. Omega switching to cheering on Team Sonic because if you can't beat them, cheer them on. XD

Eggman doing a dumb little dance after stealing the trophy, getting destroyed by Shadow's Kart, and then the Eggbot just... devastated by Eggman's apparent death. Everything about the Comedy in this is insane.

The fact that they actually made a Chao in Space short after the teasers for it in SA2 were everywhere makes me happy. Especially because the Dark Swim-type Chao looks exactly like the Chao I was raising. I've had a Chao in SA2 named Pebbles for forever. When I got the PC port of SA2, I worked really hard to get a Chao like her and raise her up. It's been my dream to have an Immortal Chao someday and when I was younger I was planning to do it with Pebbles. So I started raising PC Pebbles up to have perfect stats so she could be the best before Immortalization since she has to get reborn a bunch anyway. Her current form is Dark Swim. She's getting older and I think she's on her second rebirth. I swear it's a crime that Chao Garden isn't a staple of the Sonic Franchise. They are the perfect virtual pets, I love them so much.

Sonic working extra hard to try to keep the Chao out of Trouble is so me. I know Chao can't drown or get hurt in a meaningful way in the Garden, but I'm always so sad when they wander into the water and act like they're drowning so I teach a lot of my Chao to swim early on, then fly.

This is from back in 2020 and I'm sure I've played since then, but look at my pride and joy! BAMBINA.

The Penguin causing the Angry Eyebrows like that one clip of the bear puppet head-desking onto post-its for instant angry eyebrows was absolutely a highlight. Tikal making an appearance and the "champagne" being a soda are also very cute details.

The Sonic Colors short having voice acting is a little jarring, but I do like Sonic's Overdramatic Eggman impression and Tails absolutely failing to remotely capture Eggman's evil laugh. The short is otherwise pretty generic but it does a good job of showing of the Wisps.

The Frontiers Prologue makes me happy, if only for the fact that it confirms that while Knuckles does wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, wonders if he'd be happier or not with a different life, he's not alone up there on Angel Island. There are Chao, and Tikal's spirit can visit him, if only to tip him off about things. The fact that so many Chao sounds appear to be the original recordings used in the games throughout these shorts makes me happy too. The Voice Actors for a lot of the characters have changed over the years, but the Chao basically always sounding the same is kind of nice. And the fact that Knuckles just doesn't know what to do with a crying "child." I swear Japan has exactly one redhead archetype and I fall for it every goddamn time. "Grumpy Gruff Softie That Can't Talk To Girls and Doesn't Know How to Cope with Tears." My type wobbles between a few conflicting traits, to be fair, because I also like the Generic Goofball and the Too Stupid To Live types too. But there's a reason Knuckles was a long time fave of mine. Also, the everything left unsaid but implied by the "But Sometimes..." ending line... delicious.

Trio of Trouble returns to form without dialogue, and the Saturday Morning Cartoon feeling of the classic designs and animation conventions are absolutely stellar. Fang imagining Amy as some terrifying carnage-obsessed hammer-wielding beast is also stellar. Eggman the "genius" having no situational awareness and just triggering traps and then blaming everyone else is funny but now I'm left wondering if that's just average flanderization or if they're implying that Eggman gets by having Orbot and Cubot go ahead of him all the time and have their bumbling trigger and disarm all traps and he's just returning to form here. Eggman continuing to be oblivious to the Giant Snake implies that this is just a gag for the short, but... look, I'm not calling Eggman 'smart' but I think he's more aware of his surroundings than that. You kind of have to be to pilot massive robots, even if a lot of that is managed with a thorough and intuitive HUD and hella autopilot. Fang using what he inadvertently learned from Tails in his flashback turned nightmare was actually a neat twist. Trip getting zero recognition from the others and Eggman being an awful artist are pretty decent gags, though it's impossible not to feel bad for Trip because of it.

Ghost Tale is very short and a bit generic but it does what it's trying to do well. Even if you never saw La, Su, and Uh before you get a good sense of their characters. The new baby ghosts are very cute but leave me with questions. Because either ghosts can reproduce or things got hella dark.

I said everything I wanted in depth about the Shadow Generations short film here before, but it bears repeating that the animation is stellar and I enjoy the fact that they're actually treating Shadow like a real character who has lasting damage to deal with from his trauma and not just an edgy edgelord who edges edgily. Like, yeah, he's a serious, gruff, grumpy loner type after everything that happened, and even before he clearly had problems going on that made it hard for him to bond with others besides Maria. But the core of his character has always been that in spite of all that he has a big heart. He's not going to stop feeling things. He's all ABOUT feeling things. Even a big grump can have a big heart.

That said, I think I have to give my vote to Racing Overdrive. Gave me a smile, peak Sonic, and absolutely worth a rewatch. Would 100% show it to the next generation to get them interested in Sonic. If I had to pick a single one of these to send to space for the aliens it would be Racing Overdrive for sure.

Sonic The Hedgehog Animated Short Voting Poll

[fishech]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝑰𝒔 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒆

(𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐬)

𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐲𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝟏𝟎𝟎% 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬.

◈𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 '𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭' 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭◈

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(I'm really in trouble...)

I walk down the hallway with a letter from an unknown sender in my hand, heading towards Sariel’s office

(Just having princes from other countries in the castle is a big deal, but to have this happen...?)

???: “…Emma”

Emma: "What..?”

Because I was walking around thoughtlessly, I had bumped into someone

Clavis: "What's the matter, it's not like you to walk around while day dreaming...?"

Emma: "Excuse me, Prince Clavis!”

Clavis: "Haha, don't worry about it. I'm glad it was me you bumped into.”

Gilbert: “that’s an odd way of putting it”

(…….!)

I turned my head awkwardly next to Prince Clavis, standing next to him was Prince Gilbert

(Why are Prince Clavis and Prince Gilbert together?)

The sight of Prince Gilbert causes my body to cower as a conditioned reflex, and I unconsciously take a few steps backward.

At the same time, the letter slips out of my hand.

Gilbert: "Thank you as always for your reaction. What is this, by the way?”

Emma: “ah…..”

Prince Gilbert picks up the letter and opens it without hesitation.

Prince Clavis, who was standing next to him, also looks at the letter - and bursts out laughing

Clavis: "Ha ha.......Is this a love letter?”

Gilbert: "I love you and can't help it. I'll be waiting for you in the pavilion this evening."

Gilbert: "Hmph…haha - You are very popular, aren't you, little rabbit?"

Emma: "It's not funny. This isn't the first time he's written to me.”

Gilbert: "From the look of fear in your eyes, you must have received quite a few, huh?”

Gilbert: "At first you didn't consult anyone, thinking you could solve the problem by yourself..”

Gilbert: “But then the content escalated and you were asked to meet face-to-face. I wonder if you finally got scared enough to go to the devilish bureaucrat for advice.”

(correct.)

(all of it...)

my throat tightens from the fact that he can see 100 things with 1 piece of information.

Clavis: "Haha, you're creepier than this third-rate stalker. - is what Emma is trying to say."

Emma: "Prince Clavis.”

Gilbert: "What's that? Rabbit, are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

Emma: "I'm not, it's a misunderstanding!”

Clavis: “if you want to clear your name, why don't you settle this case?"

Emma: "I never said that!"

Gilbert: "Ha-ha-ha, the little rabbit is aggressive, isn't she? But it's okay.”

Emma: "you’re wrong.”

Gilbert: "I'll solve your problem, Little Rabbit - I like to be nice to my friends."

Clavis: "Of course, I'll join you. A gentleman never leaves a lady in trouble.”

(Prince Gilbert and Prince Clavis are going to help me with my problem?)

(Oh, no.)

Emma: "No, I respectfully decline!"

(That would definitely be a bad idea!)

The thought of a mischievous criminal and a villain teaming up to solve my problems made my blood boil.

Clavis: "Haha, nothing to be afraid of. You and I are friends, aren't we?”

Emma: "friends?”

Gilbert: "Of course, you won't refuse my offer, will you? the courtesy of a guest of honor.”

Emma: “…………”

(If it were only Prince Clavis it would be fine, but with Prince Gilbert, I wouldn't be able to escape.)

Gilbert: “However the solution is quite simple.”

Emma: "Really?”

(I have a bad feeling about this...)

Clavis: "Yes, that's right. You should have consulted me earlier.”

Clavis: "you're shy, huh?"

Emma: "what makes you think that?”

Gilbert: "Ha-ha-ha, don't you understand?”

Gilbert: "I'm going to be the little rabbit's lover."

Emma: “………….”

(Oh, I see. That's what you mean.)

The "I already have a lover" might be a very effective countermeasure to a suspicious letter

Especially if it is a prince, most people would back off. Prince Gilbert and Prince Clavis are willing to play the lover's role.

(I feel bad for the person who gave me these letters.)

Clavis: "Of course, you'll choose me, won't you?”

Emma: “eh…”

Prince Clavis lifts my hand and kisses my fingertips reverently, as if he were a fairytale prince.

Gilbert: "No, you’ll choose me, right? I'm more useful than Clavis.”

Prince Gilbert lifted a lock of my hair and twirled it around his finger.

(What is even happening right now?)

Gilbert: "When you become my woman, no one will come near you, will they?"

Clavis: "Haha, not only Mister Stalker, but everyone in the court will stay away from you.”

Gilbert: "You see, it's all advantages for the little rabbit."

(No, the disadvantages are obviously greater.)

even if it was a lie, the damage would be irreversible if I pretended to be lovers with Prince Gilbert

Clavis: “I’m a safe bet, right? I'm the handsome prince that everyone is in love with. You're sure to be the envy of all, aren't you lucky?"

(If I became Prince Clavis’ lover, that would be scary.)

Prince Clavis is a prince with a nasty hobbies like making Lelouch Traps.

(Prince Gilbert’s notoriety, as well as Prince Clavis’, is well-known in this castle.)

Gilbert: "Hey, from the looks of it, it looks like you can't choose, can you?”

Clavis: "Why not? I thought It would be an easy choice”

Emma: "Is there any other way, other than to pretending to be lovers?

Gilbert & Clavis: “No”

Emma: ".....I didn’t think so”

(These two are totally amused.)

Neither Prince Clavis’ smirk nor Prince Gilbert’s smirk seem to indicate that they are worried about me.

Gilbert: "If you can't choose, how about the one who can act more like a lover, will be your lover?"

Suddenly, I feel a tug on my hand and my back hits against a nearby pillar. To find that Prince Gilbert had put his hand on the pillar, depriving me of my escape.

(What?)

I was more distracted by that than Prince Gilbert’s beautiful face, and blood colored eyes reminiscent of death, my heart was pounding faster.

Emma: “………….”

Gilbert: "Isn't this something similar to what lovers would do?"

Emma: "I thought you were going to be kill me.”

Gilbert: “Ha-Ha, I wouldn’t kill my lover.”

(this feels like a threat rather than pretending to be a lover...)

Clavis: "Well, I see that the world's Master of Disaster is not very experienced in dealing with women.”

I was relieved when Prince Clavis rescued me from being surrounded by Prince Gilbert’s arms, only to be taken by the waist and having our body temperatures overlap

Clavis: "Open your mouth, darling”

Emma: "what is that in your hand, Prince Clavis?"

The bewitching atmosphere almost fooled me, but there was a peach-colored medicine bottle in Prince Clavis's hand.

Clavis: “Ha-Ha, don’t worry it’s just a love potion”

Emma: "a love potion..."

Emma: “who exactly do you think is going to take that?”

I pushed his chest as hard as I could, and he simply let go of me.

Clavis: "Hmmm, so you're already in love with me even without the love potion.”

Clavis: "If you insist that much, I guess I'll have to play the role of your lover, won't I?”

Gilbert: "You are looking very troubled little rabbit, maybe I should be the one to play the role.”

Clavis: "No, you don't have a part to play. The rabbit loves me, right?”

Gilbert: "She loves me more, right?”

(These people are ......)

Prince Gilbert and Prince Clavis are totally enjoying my reaction.

(I'm starting to feel like staying here won't solve anything.)

(I'll just thank the two of them for their kindness.)

Emma: "Thank you very much for your concern - But after all, I can't bother you two..so..."

Emma: "Look!”

The two of them turn their heads at once in the direction I point.

Gilbert & Clavis: “……….?”

(I'm sorry!)

I ran out of the room like a spooked rabbit, not wanting to be played with any more.

Gilbert: "Oh no, she got away”

Prince Gilbert shakes his shoulders in amusement at Emma, who disappeared as quickly as a rabbit.

Clavis: "I never thought you would fall for such a classic method.”

Gilbert: "I could say the same for you Clavis.”

Gilbert: "Well, I don't care if she gets away, I've got this.”

Prince Gilbert holds the envelope he took from Emma in his hand.

Clavis: "Are you going to go?"

Gilbert: "Yeah, it'll be fun. I think we should give him a little pain.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

man: “ah…”

Gilbert: "Hello, are you the sender of this letter?”

Clavis: "Well, you're famous for your womanizing ways, aren't you? I knew you'd do something like this one day.”

Under the red sky, a man lies prostrate, his face buried in rose petals scattered on the ground.

Or, to be more precise, he was being trampled on the back by the tiger prince.

The princes had appeared dashingly in the rose garden. Without warning, they attacked the man hiding in the hedge and knocked him to the ground.

Gilbert: "You know what we mean by that, don't you?"

Prince Clavis goes happily through the man's pockets.

Inside, he found a bottle of pills, a pair of handcuffs, and a rusty key.

Gilbert: "Ha-ha-ha, we found something amazing after all. Hey, what were you going to use this for?”

man: “……….”

Gilbert: "It's a pity that you can't talk anymore”

Clavis: "Then I'll answer for you.”

Clavis: "Call Emma here, drug her, lock her in a nearby storage shed and handcuff her..."

Gilbert: "You seem to have a special proclivity, do you get pleasure from dominating women by abusing them?"

man: “……….”

Gilbert: "In fact, we have men like that in my country too”

Gilbert: "Well, they all died, haha!”

man: "please forgive me....."

Clavis: "What, you're already giving your resignation? Fine, I'll take it.”

Clavis: "Unlike some countries, this is a country ruled by a benevolent King, if you're going to leave the castle, you'd better get a move on."

Clavis: "We're not the only princes who care about the little rabbit, you know?"

Before he can finish, the man stands up and hurries out of the rose garden.

Prince Gilbert laughs again as the man runs away without once looking back.

Gilbert: "I see. The real culprit was Clavis.”

Clavis: "Ha ha, what are you talking about?"

Gilbert: "You're playing dumb. You knew he was that kind of guy before, didn't you? But you can't charge him with a crime without physical evidence.”

Gilbert: "So you used people to spread these rumors. He heard that the woman who came to the castle recently is so beautiful that even the prince takes notice of her."

Clavis: “……….”

Gilbert: "Men like that like to target conspicuous women so they feel superior.”

Gilbert: "The poor bugger fell for your tricks, and this is what he ended up doing. The reason I had turned to the little rabbit was because I knew she would talk to someone about it before it became a big problem.”

Gilbert: "because if I can get the devilish bureaucrat to talk to her, I've won the case.”

Gilbert: "You yourself were watching over the little rabbit, weren't you? If something happens, you would be able to help her right away.”

Gilbert: "Hmmm..your ways are still as naive as ever, aren't they?"

Clavis: "I feel like I'm dealing with a Chevalier when I talk to you..”

Prince Gilbert cowered in disappointment as Clavis put the "physical evidence" in his pocket with a bitter look on his face.

Gilbert: "Your brother, whom you hate so much, wouldn't get involved in something like this.”

Clavis: “that's the only thing I didn't expect from you”

Gilbert: "That's because I'm your friend, I’m not only am I kind to the rabbit, but to you as well, right?

Clavis: "Ha, I don't know. Your kindness is like poison. Once you are seduced, you will turn into a puppet.”

Gilbert: "Like you, for example?"

Clavis: “………”

Gilbert: "Ha-ha-ha, I'm just kidding.”

Prince Gilbert sits down on a chair in the pavilion

Prince Clavis, on the other hand, leans against the railing, never approaching the beast.

The distance between them seemed to hide the feelings behind their amusement.

Gilbert: "So, let's get down to business.”

The answer to Emma's question, "Why are you two together?

Gilbert: "You're not like that man, you're cunning...?”

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝟏𝟎𝟎% 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝

[sincerelyasomebody]

Changes || Jose "Sad Eyes" Guzman

(GIF: @merakiaes)

A/N: This has been in my drafts for a long while🤦🏾‍♀️👀. Apologises on the delay and for grammatical errors. I hope it meets your expectations or what you were expecting. Please let me know if the Spanish translations are correct. 

Characters/Pairing(s): Sad Eyes x Reader (married) ☆ 19th Street (mentioned) ▪︎ Cuchillos (mentioned) ▪︎ Los Santos (mentioned) Spooky (mentioned)

Request/Summary: Hii, I was wondering if your still taking requests! If you are can I get one with Sad Eyes where the reader comes home late and a fight breaks out between the two and then she tells him that she found out she’s expecting 🥺🖤 (they could be together for 3yrs) pure angst and fluff if anything! Thank youuu! 💕 - @multiyfandomgirl40

Warning(s): angst, fluff, language, mentions of death and gang violence, pregnancy

Word Count: 1427

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ - 

The street lights were on by the time (Y/N) pulled into her driveway. As soon as she switched the engine off, she put her head on her hands and took a deep breath. For the last couple of days, her body started to feel the impact of the extra hours she was pulling. Which wasn't a good sign. Lifting her head up and staring out of the windshield, she spotted her fiance standing on the porch. She gave a half-hearted smile and began to gather her things before hopping out of the car. 

She locked her doors and walked up the path to the front steps. As she climbed, she could feel the tension between Jose and herself but chose to ignore it. Moving past him she entered the house and immediately kicked off her heels. She made her way through the living to enter the kitchen to grab something to eat. 

"What's going on with us?" she heard once she opened up the fridge, she closed it and looked over at Jose who continued, "it's like we don't even see each other anymore, because I'm out on Santo business and you're working." He moved forward and gently caressed her cheek, "this is the first time I've seen you awake… when I'm here you're usually asleep." 

(Y/N) turned her cheek and kissed the palm of his hand, "we're both awake now," and wrapped her arms around his waist. A genuine smile appeared on her face when she felt him a drop kiss on the top of her head.

Jose held her tightly against his chest, "querida… why are you working all these extra hours?" He gently pulled away from her to look at her face, "the last shipment the guys and I did pulled double our usual payment, we're good." 

She sighed and shook her head, "it's not about the money… it's more on how you're getting it," she bit her bottom lip, "I'd rather have you safe and here with me than some racks of cash and memories." 

"Querida." 

"With the death of Cuchillos and the newly formed truce with 19th Street I-I can't help but worry that the next time I'll see you is when I have to identify your body," tears trailed down her cheeks.

He reached out and wiped her tears away, "baby I know I can't promise that-" 

"Exactly, you can't! And that's what scares me the most," (Y/N) stepped back, "we're married now, Jose. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're not fiance's, we're husband and wife.

"I know what we are, mi amor." 

"Okay, then maybe you'll consider cutting back on the runs you take on."

Jose shook his head, "so you're saying I should turn my back on the Santos?" He gestured towards the house, "the reason we have all of this is because of them. And you want me to turn my back on them?" 

"I didn't say for you to turn your back on them." 

"It sounded like you did."

"All I'm asking is that you don't go on every fucking run!" (Y/N) shot back. 

"I'm Spooky's right-hand, wherever he goes I do too. If he's not available, then it's up to me to sort out any problems," he roughly rubbed his face, "you know this already." 

She nodded, "you're right I do, but it's time we start getting our shit together," sighing, she continued, "you do know there are other ways to get money without having to clean it all the time?" 

He scoffed, "do I look like a guy who works a nine to five?" he began to pace, "I'm not in the Santos because of the money-"

"You joined because of the brotherhood they offered and to make sure your sister and mum would be taken care of." 

"If you know all this, why are you questioning it?" 

(Y/N) walked out of the kitchen and into the living, she reached into the back of the t.v cabinet (knowing he never went in there) and pulled out the piece of paper that would change their lives. Jose watched as she walked back to him with a look of determination. He shook his head, "the block's been crazy lately and you're worried about me, I get that but-" 

"I'm worried because we can't just think about ourselves," (Y/N) slammed the sonogram onto the kitchen counter, "we've gotta think about them too." 

Without another word she walked off down the hallway and entered their bedroom. She slammed the door and ignored the rattling of the pictures on the wall. Sliding down on the door, she sobbed as her hands gently rubbed her stomach. 

Jose recognised what she had placed on the counter, but couldn't believe it was truly in front of him. He and (Y/N) discussed children early on in their relationship, during their engagement and right after they were married. The conversations switched from "what ifs" to "when we" followed by an example of their upbringing and what they would change for their children. It was always a thought or an idea that seemed so far away. 

And now it was going to be a reality. 

He gently picked up the picture and traced the outline of it with his forefinger. His focus switched to the typing of the bottom right corner: his wife's name, date and time of when it was taken and how far along the pregnancy was. Laughing when he realised the date of the conception was around Spooky's birthday bash. Shaking his head, he pulled out his wallet and folded the sonogram so it fit beside the photobooth strip of himself and (Y/N) on one of their early dates. He tucked his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans and went through the cabinets to see what he could whip up.

After deciding on his chosen dish, he made sure everything was cooked thoroughly before putting it together on the plate. He picked up the plate, a fork (because he knew she preferred it than a spoon) and a bottle of water. Coming up to his bedroom door, he knocked gently, he heard some movement before (Y/N) opened it up. 

"I… uh, made you - well both of you something to eat?" He held up the plate and walked inside, "gotta make sure you're eating enough."

She took the plate and fork, sat on the bed and ate away. When she realised he was still by the door, she gestured for him to sit beside her. He did that and was met with a forkful of the food in front of his face, he smiled and took the bite causing her to smile too. She did this a couple more times, but he redirected it to her mouth. She drank all of the water and put the empty bottle beside the bed. Once she was done with the food, Jose picked up the plate and fork and put them on top of the dresser. 

He'd sort them out later. 

"Thanks for feeding us, we really appreciate it," (Y/N) snuggled into his side when he sat back on the bed, he had an arm over her shoulders and his other hand placed on her stomach. He kissed the side of her head. Sighing, she turned to him and wanted to speak more on what was spoken in the kitchen, but chose to relish in the feeling of them being parents.

She pecked his cheek, "we're gonna be parents." 

"Yeah," he moved his hand from her stomach to grab his wallet, opened it up and pulled out the sonogram, "I gotta question though." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Shit looks different, like did they upgrade the system or something 'cause the last time I saw these was when ma told me I was gonna be a big brother," he held the picture at different angles.

(Y/N) looked at him, "kinda, but not really, the printouts are still the same," she tapped the picture, "but you're right about it being different than mama g's, though," at his confused expression, she continued, "we're expecting double trouble." 

Without a second thought, Jose jumped off the bed and picked her up. (Y/N) squealed and wrapped her legs around his waist as her hands went to the back of his neck. They shared a passionate kiss, only separating to come up for air. 

Jose had a grin plastered across his face, "we had a really good time at Spooky's bash." Laughing, (Y/N) brought him in for another kiss.

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ - 

Spanish Translation(s): 

Querida - sweetheart

Mi amor - my love

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