#and pummels me with tomatoes

[ghostlychaosfoil]

the chaotix would be great slam poets I think

[billskeis]

Could you do a smut where bill and the reader are just cuddling skin to skin and its all fluff but then it starts to get a little sexual and heads to smut THANK U

i kinda rushed it but im horny ok

ᡣ𐭩 bill loves thigh jobs

cuddling your back into the flush of bill’s chest, the two of you cuddle under the warm cozy blanket during a cold winter night. the two of you learned that skin to skin contact helps better regulate body temperature and all in all is a very intimate way that you and bill show love to one another.

he snakes an arm around your waist, arm hairs tickling you as he hides his face into the crook of your neck, “s’warm..”

you let out a small giggle, writhing from within his grasp to get even more comfortable. he allows you to adjust your body, moving his alongside yours so that the two of you are now fit together like a puzzle peace. all he does is place small kisses onto your shoulder blades telling you about his day.

that is, until you feel bill’s hard on press into your back. you let out a small shriek, screaming “b-bill! really??” and you turn your neck, cramping almost, to look back at your boyfriend who is now bashful and as red as a tomato as he’s pathetically horny from just cuddling you, “sorry baby..”

“can i just..” as he begins to lift one of your legs up, immediately, you slap at his arm and frown, “‘m still sore..”

a heavy sigh leaves his lips. he needs relief, now. and the only person who could do it was the laying right beside him, you. he rubs your arms up and down, skin akin to one another as he presses his body closer to yours, hard on even closer now than ever before on the bend of your back.

slowly but surely, the head of bill’s cock peeks through from in between your thighs. the small triangle opening, right above where your cunt sits is now filled with his length. “ugh.. can i..?” he’s whiny, needy, and totally impatient as he slightly humps his hips into yours. you can’t bring yourself to say no with how his cock rubs against your folds.

the way it just separates your cunt to rub on your clit nonstop, you can only squirm and writhe from the overwhelming pleasure, sensitive from your previous orgasms from bill hours before he got hard again. “mmh..! b-bill slow down..” a plapping noise filling the room as he pretend fucks you, desperate filthy noises escaping his mouth as he’s practically in ecstasy with the way his cock thrusts against your thighs.

“‘msorryimsorryimsorryims-sosorryschatz.. f-fuck..! i-imsorry..”

whispering those meaningless apologies over and over again like a mantra as if he intends to stop his hips any time soon. but no! he doesn’t actually intend to, and he isn’t actually sorry. bill feels way too good to want to stop. you can only hold onto his arms that are wrapped around your waist so he can better fuck his dick into your thigh as the impact of his pummelling increases.

“doing soooo well f’me schatzi,” you’re doing nothing, you hold onto bill for leverage, and that’s it, “laying there all pretty for me hm? j-just keep still hun..”

his movements become sloppy over time, only needing to release. a still of his hips and cum staining the sheets can indicate he’s finally reached his climax, biting into your shoulder as licks and laps at the bite marks he’s left. breathless, bill lets go of your body to lay on his back. you turn to look at him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“feel better now?” you ask, “mmhm, thank you so much princess—oh!—look a’that :D,” as you open your legs in front of him, fingers spreading to reveal your glistening cunt, welcoming him in to fix the mess that he willingly made.

i fear i suck at writing LMFAOOO

currently sick and all my friends r going clubbing without me :c pray for a speedy recovery

[tennypress]

How would Gun, Goo, Jake and Samuel would react if we sent them a nude during their work/fight?

👍

sending them nudes while they’re working or fighting

minors dni

WARNING: nudes, cock pics, gender neutral reader

Gun Park

If you sent him a nude while he’s working, then it would either be him leaving the meeting to text you or text you to punish you, or him just glancing at his phone and smirking

If he’s fighting he would bring a finger up to his opponent to pause and then look at it and smirk then continue the fight

Oof when he gets home you won’t be working or talking for the next 3 weeks

“You like it when you interrupt me y/n?” he says as he pummels into you

If you send it again, give him a heads up next time lol

Goo Kim

When he’d working he would look at the photo and would step out of the meeting to send you a duck pic in the bathroom

If he’s in the office alone he’d still send a duck pick but he’s in front of the mirror shirtless and cock out

When fighting he would knock out his opponent to stare at your nude

He’s gonna tease you when he gets home, and take you to the bedroom

If you send him another one he’s gonna laugh at it, and might eventually show Gun do he knows who his “prize” is and tease gun saying that he’s jealous he couldn’t get anyone like you. All gun did was punch goo in the face, leading it to a fight

One time, he’s sent you a cock pic, and you just sat up and giggled to yourself

Jake Kim

When he’s hanging out with Big deal or with Sinu he looked at his phone and immediatesly turns it off, bringing his hand to his face and blushing like a tomato

When fighting obviously he wouldn’t take out his phone during it. But after he’s done, and slightly injured he would look at the photo in awe

He would come home and kiss you while taking you to the bedroom

You send another one he’s gonna scold you when he gets home, but you didn’t care and still sent him them no matter what

Sammuel Seo

When he’s at a meeting he would look at the photo with a neutral face and turn off his phone, even though inside he’s feeling horny

When fighting, same as Jake he would wait until it’s over and then he sends you a cock pic in somewhere private. Like a bathroom or empty alleyway

At home he’ll tease you while your still naked, touching you everywhere but your hot spot

He’ll tease and praise you while kissing you and your neck

When you send him another one, he’ll tease and edge you during sex at home or in his office

[sarafangirlart]

Honestly I know you're going to hate me for bringing this up but I really just wanna rave about this to you. I was recently rereading a PJO fanfic (please no tomatoes thrown at me I have long left the fandom and all I just was in the mood for this fic in particular) where the premise is basically Hera learns Zeus cheated on her (again!) and had a child so she decided "fuck it, I want a demigod" but she goes about it in the artificial insemination way, because that's not cheating, and the rest of the fic is her raising her demigod daughter in secret (because she's smart and doesn't trust Zeus) and it's just so cute reading her being a mother. My favorite bits in the fic I loved and wanted to share:

-She reveals her plan to Medea in the first chapter and once she does she basks in her plan with her arms outstretched and everything. Medea stares at her in surprise while Argus claps for her with a huge smile on his face. When Hera reveals she was cheated on again Argus is also shown wanting to pummel Zeus and even wipes away tears when she talks about wanting to be a mother again.

-Hera can tell what the perfect sperm would be and makes sure to have it picked. Thought that was a cool thing.

-The only gods let in on her demigod daughter is Oceanus and Tethys (they're supportive parents to Hera!), Poseidon who wants to be a cool uncle, and Hephaestus.

-Hephaestus and Hera have a crying session of the two getting drunk and getting things off their chest.

-Medea and Hephaestus bond over Helios's sun chariot that Medea still has because it's a car she tunes up. Hephaestus also makes his demigod sister a music box.

-Hera and her daughter wear matching outfits when they go to a waterpark.

-Poseidon was let in on his niece's existence because he was the only one out of the Olympians who noticed Hera was acting strange. We love a supportive brother! He also has a one sided rivalry with Oceanus with wanting his niece to like him more than the primordial. He keeps losing.

-Hera also brings in Tiresias to help her daughter because when she was two her daughter still wasn't talking. Tiresias realizes she's not talking because she can understand all the birds talking around her. Once she silences the birds by putting a barrier on the mansion, she and her daughter spend hours privately in her room just talking. =w=

Like I know you don't like PJO, very very understandably. But I just kept thinking while rereading this fanfic, "man, Sarafangirlart would love this scene."

-Shrimp Anon

Oh that’s sweet, would’ve preferred Hera to create the child on her own like she did with Hephaestus but Hera wanting to be a mother again in the modern day sounds cute. For a Percy Jackson fanfic there’s a surprising lack of… well anything Percy Jackson.

[an0thergl1tch]

Patton (mainly buff frog) headcanons :

*So acknowledging Patton can turn into a giant frog, your telling me this man isn’t buff as hell.

*You know those moms that suddenly gain the power to life a car off their newborn child? That’s Patton. He goes full mama bear.

*I personally enjoy the idea that when somebody isn’t cooperating he could quite literally throw them over his shoulder and they couldn’t do shit about it because it’s Patton and he is a solid 5x stronger than them.

*Does not know his own strength in the slightest, and has accidentally punched holes in the wall before.

*Honestly I think the only reason Remus doesn’t mess with him is because one time Remus spooked him and Patton accidentally smacked him so hard across the face that he blacked out. (Also he could absolutely pummel him but I don’t think Remus minds that)

*Lets be honest Remus probably consistently calls him frog daddy now.

*Probably a god at climbing trees and swimming.

*Definitely was a Boy Scout when he was younger, and he was the superior Boy Scout. He would probably be the one who would try and grab a giant tree branch while on the search for firewood. If they went on a hike everyone else would be dying but he wouldn’t even be breaking a sweat, hell he’d probably even give someone a piggyback ride if they needed a break.

*Along with not knowing his own strength I imagine he gets a lot of mysterious bruises and scrapes that he has no idea where they come from because he accidentally bumps into EVERYTHING. (Same)

*Oh this dude is absolutely amazing at jump rope due to his frog legs, he was the king of jump rope for heart, he has all of the prizes and had all of those little shoelace thingys. (If you know you know)

*Carries all of the groceries and luggage, refuses to let anybody else carry them, and is too stubborn to make it more than one trip.

*”Oh we don’t need a cart we’re just here for one thing, just grab a basket !” *they needed a cart but Patton insists that it’s not that heavy*

*Has an insanely high pain tolerance, like if he got stabbed he’d probably be more worried about cleaning up the blood than him being injured. However jamming your toenail into a door and stepping on legos hurts like a bitch sometimes and he has to try very hard not to scream profanities when that happens. Has had to sink out and step outside on multiple occasions because he didn’t want to say fuck in front of everyone after stubbing his toe.

*Cannot tell when he is burnt. Like he will put on sunscreen to be healthy but nine times out of ten he comes home sunburnt and he can’t even tell until he looks in the mirror (why are all dads like this.) He loves the sun because frog but he’s also pale as fuck so he turns into a tomato. However bonus gets a fuck ton of freckles because of it (Patton with freckles supremacy.)

[liliesinwhite]

~Welcome to the July Garden~

As you can see from above, all of the spring crops have been harvested and replaced with sowings for a fall crop. The mums and marigolds are blooming up a storm and getting me very excited for fall and the fall harvest.

Speaking of fall harvests, my Mini Hokkaido pumpkin is slowly but surely ripening. Can anyone say “Home Grown Pumpkin Pie”?

The big four summer plants are starting to produce. The tomatoes are still green and will definitely get bigger before they turn red and the peppers are also growing strongly. The cucumbers have just gotten started and the beans (even after being pummeled by hail last week) are still producing and just about ready for the first harvest.

The cabbages are also growing albeit much much slower than last year. The harvest probably wont come until much later in the season, but I still expect to harvest them before the first frost.

My seed sown lavender is blooming again this year. It is on its third year and for the first time in its short life, it will need a hair cut at the end of the season. I loved growing lavender so much over the last 3 years that I’ve sown some more and next year I should have 2 window boxes full!

Well that’s all for this month. I apologize for missing last month. There was just so much work to be done and so much was being changed around in the garden that I didn’t get a chance to take any pictures.

Until next time,

~L

[coal15]

So I got the 2nd Chapter of I Never Do This finished, (bucktommy, a mix of smut and fluffy sweetness) I just need to do one more editing pass, so barring unforeseen events or disaster it will be up on ao3 sometime tomorrow. Excerpt below the cut. To read Ch.1 go HERE

Sadly there wasn't much time for post-coital cuteness. Buck was due at Maddie's house for a 24 hour babysitting gig, and he was already behind schedule. "I'll have to haul ass to make it on time!" He groused, frantically pulling on the previous days’ clothes. "By the way, I think we should keep a few changes of clothes at eachother's places--I don't mean half the closet or anything," he added in case the suggestion sounded like too big a step. "But, y'know, some shirts, some pants."

"Good idea.” Tommy smiled. Frantic Evan was such a cute Evan. “Okay, I'll take care of it while you're on babysitting duty. Your spare key is on top of the door frame, right?"

“Uh-huh. Oh my god, if I’m any more than ten minutes late Maddie will kill me and cook me for dinner!" Buck grabbed his cellphone, gave Tommy a quick kiss, and charged for the open bedroom door. "Uuuuhhh, honey-"

"Laundry room is the door across from the one to your right, go through there and you’re five steps from the front door.”

“Thanks!”

In contrast to his poor boyfriend, Tommy had the luxury of checking items off an easy to-do list at a pleasantly lazy pace. First, the clothes thing like he promised. After that just little things. Switching out the overloaded ant traps around his cherry tree for fresh ones, taking a few tomatoes down the street to Cathy, then he spent the rest of his day hanging out out in the garage/workshop playing around with a few beat up Hickorywood chairs he was trying to restore. Bringing horribly abused old furniture back to life was Tommy's favorite hobby next to Muay Thai. The two served radically different purposes in his life. Muay Thai made for a great workout. It was a fun way to burn off energy. Whereas furniture restoration took him to a calm place, peaceful and meditative. 

Today’s meditation focused on examining the morning’s events and how he felt. More importantly, how he didn’t feel. No loss of masculinity. No need to jump in the ring and pummel a Muay Thai opponent senseless. And best of all, no need to cry in the shower trying to scrub the gay off of him like dead skin cells and wash them down the drain. Letting Evan top him closed another awful, heavy door between his past and present--slammed it shut and bricked it over. Getting fucked silly felt great, and he knew no one would ever have the power to make him feel bad or gross about it.

**********to read the first chapter go HERE

[dreamersbcll]

Could you write a fic where Sam and Tara seem finally happy, they’ve just finished up their meal at a pizza place that is just a lil bit too cheap to not raise an eyebrow and are now walking home to their apartment before they get bombarded by conspiracy theorists. They go to hassle Sam aggressively shoving her and interrogating her before Tara charges at the theorist, knocking them over and pummelling their face with punches. This protection doesn’t come free,though as the theorists grab Tara and beat her up while same is unable to help. Sam’s guilt would drive her crazy after this

“Loomis”-

————————————————-

“You know, for someplace that only had two stars on Yelp, that hit!”

Sam threw her head back and laughed, pulling her sister in for a side hug. The pair had just finished eating at Guido’s Pizzeria, a family restaurant down the block from their new place. Tara had begged to try it, even though the Yelp reviews were dismal. So they did.

Kissing the side of Tara's head, Sam sighed. “You know, it wasn’t half-bad. The tomato sauce was a little sweet for my taste, but I’d try it again,”.

Tara hummed. “The garlic bread was good. I love garlic bread,”.

“I know you do, my love. I know you do,”.

Sam was so busy fussing with Tara's jacket that she didn’t notice the crowd of men approaching them.

That was her first mistake.

“Oh boys, look what we have here. The killer of Woodsboro!” crowed the ringleader, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Sam moved Tara behind her, eyeing the men forming a circle around her. The two sisters both had tasers and knives on them, but six full-grown men were surrounding them. They would have to be smart about this.

“I think you’ve heard wrong. I’m no such thing,” she carefully said, watching as one of the men started cracking his knuckles.

The ringleader laughed again, a cold, calculated laugh. Tara gripped her wrist harder, her hands shaking. Sam stood straighter, one hand in her coat pocket, grasping the knife hiding there.

He quickly got up in Sam’s face, grinning wider at how both sisters flinched. “No, I think I’m right. You’re the bitch who murdered all those people. And enjoyed it. You’re bold to walk around this city, Sam, the murderer,”.

She bristled, eyes darkening. “I’m not my father. But if you ask nicely, I’m sure I can do a good impersonation of his work. Now back up before I make you,” she growled.

Grinning, he got nose-to-nose with Sam. “I’d like to see you try, Loomis,.”

Her second mistake was not punching him first.

Instead, chaos erupted. Within a blink of an eye, Tara jumped on the guy, screaming that she was not like her father, and pummeled him with a barrage of punches. The other guys, along with Sam, were frozen in shock, watching the man get beat up by a five-foot girl.

Her third mistake was not reacting first.

As she reached down to pull Tara off the guy, the other boys regained their confidence quicker. Two guys yanked Sam up, forcing her to her knees, her arms behind her back. The other three easily plucked Tara off their ringleader, holding her up in the air by her armpits.

The ringleader got up, wiping blood off his nose. He pointed at Sam, and she smiled at the damage Tara had done, despite the fear running through her.

“I’m surprised you let your sister hit first. Maybe you’re not your father's daughter,”.

Tara squirmed in their grip, trying to get free. The ringleader smiled a cold, bone-chilling smile. Before he spoke, Sam connected the dots on what would go down.

“But somebody has to pay for the deaths in Woodsboro. And your sister will be our penance,”.

With that, he advanced on Tara, despite Sam’s pleas and Tara's squirming. Reaching into Tara's jacket pocket, he pulled out the pocketknife.

He waved the knife in Tara's face, smirking at her eyes widened with fear. “Aw. You were gonna use this on me, weren’t you? I wish you did. It would’ve made what would happen next more fun,”.

And with that, he punched Tara in the gut, and Sam let out a scream she never knew she could make.

She doesn’t remember much after that. For every two punches they threw at Tara, one was thrown at Sam. Eventually, she lost track, and Tara stopped crying out.

They gave up after a while, throwing down Sam and letting Tara's limp body hit the ground.

Fighting the urge to black out, Sam reached out for her baby sister. Tara was covered in blood, bruising blossoming over her closed eyes. She wasn’t moving, yet Sam could tell she was still faintly breathing.

The whole image of her sister tore Sam apart. It was yet again another bloodbath she could’ve stopped.

But what made Sam’s breath catch in her throat were the words that were scratched onto her sister’s arm.

Sam Loomis

—-

Sam doesn’t remember getting to the hospital. It was all so sudden.

Flashing lights, questions, and people strapping her down into a gurney.

“I need to see my sister. I need to be by her,” she gasped, wincing as the paramedic stuck a needle in her arm.

The paramedic gently pushed her down again, silencing her. “She’s in the other vehicle. I need you to lay down, Ms. Loomis,”.

She jerked back up, crying out at the pain in her ribs. “It’s not fucking Loomis. I’m Sam, Sam Carpenter!” she spat out.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Ms. Carpenter. My mistake. It was just written on your sister’s arm, that’s all,”.

Laying back, Sam felt woozy. The medication was hitting. Was that a sedative? She hasn’t been sedated in so long. Where was Tara? She should be here.

“Loomis,” she mumbled, drifting off into a drugged sleep for the rest of the ride.

——

“Listen, if you don’t let me see my fucking sister right now, I’ll add more bodies to my list. I swear to god!”

The nurse pushed Sam back down into the bed. “I told you, I’m not afraid to restrain you. Your sister is in the ICU recovering from surgery. No guests right now. Now sit!” she said crossly.

Sam threw her hands back in exasperation. “I’m already stuck in this fucking bed. I want to see her, please!”

She wasn’t above begging anymore. She was stuck in a hospital with her ribs wrapped in gauze and stitches above her eye- and heavily medicated. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere else besides her sister’s side.

“No, Sam. I’m sorry. Maybe later,” the nurse sympathetically said, closing the door softly behind her.

Groaning, Sam laid her head back against the bed. She fucked up. She fucked up tremendously. Once again, due to her lack of awareness, she had gotten the sisters into a perilous situation.

And once again, Tara was hospitalized.

It was as if Sam was incapable of being a protector. She is incapable of taking care of someone that depended on her.

Sam knew deep down that those men were right. She was a killer. She took after her father. She knew all that, and she knew it well.

But she always took pride in how much she loved Tara. How Sam could anticipate her needs, calm her fears, and make Tara feel loved. She knew she could provide that stable love and home Tara craved and deserved.

Yet again, Sam repeatedly proves to the world that she’s a complete and total fuck-up. Unable to take care of the one person who truly matters. She was a failure in all accounts of the world.

She kept her eyes closed and breathed slowly. Deep down, she knew that if she looked into her reflection, she would see Billy.

And he would smile back at her, thanking her for following in his footsteps.

Sam Loomis.

[natalynsie]

Never Had Nichelle Ever (Nichulia Oneshot)

[request from anonymous]

“We should have a day out!” Julia exclaimed, bumping shoulders with Nichelle. “Famous girl with famous girl. One on one.”

Nichelle rolled her eyes. Her lunch table usually consisted of her fans. Her classmates often asked her for an autograph, or sat at the table silently watching Nichelle. There were only two students who sat at her table consecutively without being awkward or quiet. Axel, who had no judgment in general, and barely even acknowledged that she was an actress, and all she did was crack a few jokes or threaten to pummel someone to the ground. The other was Julia, who wouldn’t give up on trying to convince Nichelle to hang out with her. Nichelle knew that it was because it would be good for Julia’s image on social media.

Julia was… interesting, to say the least. The first day Nichelle showed up in Julia’s history class, Julia had to tell her she was famous herself. If she really was famous, Nichelle would think she wouldn’t need to announce it. It wasn’t long before MK filled her in- Julia wasn’t famous, she just had a few hundred thousand followers on Instagram or something from posting clout-chasing mindfulness videos. She acted nice to figures of authority, her followers, and Nichelle. However, Nichelle knew for a fact that Julia was very much an asshole. She spent most of her time at school making fun of people for having under 1000 followers, bad style, and overall not caring about what others thought. Even if she thought Nichelle didn’t notice, she did. She was brutal, and Nichelle kind of respected it.

“What about Saturday?” Julia continued, ignoring Nichelle’s silence. “We could go to that new boba place. Then go on a nature walk. Post some pics. What do you say?”

“I have auditions Saturday,” Nichelle made an excuse.

“Sunday?”

“I have a photoshoot.”

Neither of those statements were true. She had been taking a short break from acting to focus on her junior year of high school. She just really couldn’t outright reject Julia’s offers. Maybe one time she would have to accept, just to make fun of her or something.

Okay, so maybe she wouldn’t do that. It was bad for her image. And making Julia look like a fool wasn’t her top priority.

“You’re always so busy,” Julia complained. “It isn’t good for your mental health. You should take a break day. And get boba with me.”

“Take a hint, Julia,” Axel butted into the conversation. “She doesn’t want to hang out with you. She thinks you’re a bitch- sucking up won’t fool her. She talks shit about you just like the rest of us.”

Wow. Thanks Axel.

She wasn’t wrong- Nichelle poked as much fun at Julia as the next kid. What could she say? Julia was very easy to make fun of, being a bitch and calling others wannabes when she was the real wannabe.

Julia looked very offended. “Well, Axel, I’ll have you know that your hair smells worse than the expired tomato surprise they’re serving today. And if you have a nose, you know how bad that is.”

Axel sniffed her hair and shrugged.

“And Nichelle, if you have something to say, say it to my fucking face.”

“I could say the same to you,” Nichelle responded. She wasn’t dumb. If Julia had something to say about everyone else in the school, she sure as hell had something to say to her.

“I’ll have you know that I’m… mostly honest with you.”

“Uh huh. So you really want to hang out with me, not just boost your followers.”

“Well obviously I want to hang out with you!” Julia threw her hands up in the air. “You’re like… the coolest girl in this school besides me.”

Nichelle didn’t reply.

“Well. Fuck you both then.” Julia stood up and walked away from Nichelle’s table.

Axel rolled her eyes. “Asshole.”

You’re like… the coolest girl in this school besides me.

Nichelle replayed that phrase in her mind. She was in her bedroom doing history homework. But she was just a tad distracted.

You’re like… the coolest girl in this school besides me.

Julia didn’t compliment people like that. She complimented her teachers and acted like she cared about their home lives with ‘Aw, your baby is so cute’s and her followers with ‘You guys are the sweetest, my favorite people ever’s but never had Nichelle ever heard her compliment someone like that. When she was being her real self.

It was a genuine compliment.

Nichelle wasn’t used to that kind of compliment, never mind from Julia. She got ‘your work is so amazing, you’re truly so talented’s and ‘your hair is so pretty, what type of special stylists do famous actors get’s but never never had Nichelle ever gotten complimented like that. Not from people who didn’t compliment people, not from people who actually liked Nichelle for her flaws and all.

It was so unnatural. But it felt so natural.

Somehow, that is also how Nichelle would describe Julia.

She pretended to be friendly and perfect, but she was fake and a scammer and god fucking awful. But when she was herself, she was so bitchy and blatant and honest. Something about it was so… intriguing? Interesting? No, those weren’t the right words.

Attractive?

Fuck.

She dropped her pen that she had been chewing on and groaned.

Nichelle couldn’t believe it. She had a crush on the biggest wannabe famous girl ever. She fell for arms around the shoulders and “it would be so cool to have a collab with the coolest girl ever!” and every fake word that came out of her mouth. And every real one too.

If Axel found out, she would kill Nichelle. If Jerry found out, he would act all dad-like and try to find a better crush for her.

And if Julia found out? Nichelle figured that would be when all hell broke loose.

One of three things would happen. One is that Julia would post all over social media about how a famous girl has a crush on her. Two is that Julia would start avoiding her like the plague. Three is that Julia would use it up for even more clout than one.

But if Nichelle kept this to herself, everything would be fine.

[siilvan]

working on bloodsport tonight 🫡 should hopefully have the chapter done by tomorrow morning, but i make absolutely zero promises whatsoever 🙏🩷

“i’ll get this one out faster” you guys are free to pummel me with tomatoes for my lies

[romilly-jay]

[What is] the right amount of the right kind of pummelling people [in movies]?

***spoilers***

Tonight we watched Unlocked (2017), a spy thriller starring Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom, Toni Collette doing a fantastic Emily Blunt cut glass accent and sporting Excellent Short Hair, John Malkovich just this side of utterly menacing, and Trust Me Michael Douglas.

I'll try to get this first point out of the way quickly and efficiently - presumably I've already blathered about this on these very blog pages only my ST memory isn't marvellous and I can't quite recall.

I've learned that Me Loving A Thing - or liking it or finding it tolerable - is a very poor indicator for how popular That Thing is likely to be.

[It's not a neat negative correlation, either - it's not that I can *always* look at things I've enjoyed and know that this means that popular media take is to Hate Them. It... depends...

For a not-really-on-topic case in point, I share what I understand to be the very wide consensus view that The Empire Strikes Back was the best of the original Star Wars trilogy - and I think Rian Johnson's marmite-middle-movie was the best of the most recent trilogy, which I appreciate is a far more controversial take, though I'm not alone in holding it. And yes, I'm on that end of the opinion range that would be more likely to enjoy it... Might be losing the thread here a little.]

Back to the action movie in question. Didn't love love it, but definitely liked it considerably more than the critical 26% consensus on Rotten Tomatoes and, yes, quite a bit more than the audience rating.

I'd have given it - ack - 60 ish? Yeah, 60 ish.

I mean - look at that CAST...

For why?

NR is super watchable and IMO super credible (movie credible, not actually-capable-of-surviving-all-this-stuff credible) as the lead.

[That low score - not connected to being asked to watch a woman anchor this movie? One who Doesn't Sleep With Orlando Bloom?]

Speaking of... I'm projecting of course, but I got the impression OB was enjoying his Cheeky Burglar Chappie With A Secret role. On which note, I have a great deal of respect for movies that acknowledge the short cuts the audience is using to assign characters as Goodies, Baddies, Hotties, Untrustables, Victims, etc. And then plays around with those expectations with a nice blend of To Type and Against Type casting. Looking at youse, OB and JM.

Also speaking of... OB's character certainly learned that most basic of movie lore lessons - Do. Not. Kill. The. Dog.

Sort of a side-bar but I vm enjoyed seeing certain scenes playing out in parts of East London I was familiar with - and I also got a certain kick from the moments when I then found myself thinking WHERE's THAT and then it turns out that part of the movie was shot in Prague.

There was a moment near the start when I found myself worrying that the setting was going to be too Gritty and the violence Too Real.

Thankfully, not the case. From the moment NR rumbles what's going on and goes about digging her way out again, we were dealing with Spy Cartoonish Violence - where the look is superficially "realistic" but the beats are closer to graphic novel than graphic.

Personally, for me, the more cartoonish the better - and if it's Artfully Unrealistic in an overtly choreographed way - THAT's the dream.

Saw The Transporter for the first time the other day - and the fight sequence in the bus station is pretty much at my perfect level. Enjoy.

The kind of nonsense they get up to with Jason Statham's top in this scene is truly *chef's kiss* fight fantasy IMO - and thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my pedantic lil heart to whoever decided he was going to go back for the shirt once he'd erm - wiped the floor - with the rest of the Baddies? (watch the scene...)

PS I'm in what is perhaps the less popular opinion group [AGAIN!] where the thing I like re the top is the clever use of it as a resource NOT the way using it requires JS to remove it. Fair play, the guy has clearly worked extremely hard for that bod. His muscles have muscles. But do I need to see 'em? For me, no, not really. Entirely happy to trust that he's doing all the gym-work you'd anticipate.

[liviavanrouge]

Esme Ralda Moments

Perrie: Where's Livia?

Riley: She went to the orchard

Eliza: I told her where to find that one sweet apple

Perrie: WHAT?!

Eliza: She went to get it for her brother, what's the problem

Esme: Wow...your face is just racked with guilt..

---

Esme: *Stares at Rollo*

Rollo: *Stares back*

Livia: Guys...

Esme: *Turns and walks away*

Livia: Esme?!

Rollo: She's rude...

Esme: I heard that!

---

Esme: *Stares at Leona* Hey wake up

Leona: *Snorts, flicking his tail*

Esme: *Slaps Leona* UP!

Leona: YOU! I SWEAR IF YOU WEREN'T A GIRL AND LIVIAS FRIEND, I'D PUMMEL YOU!

Esme: And I'd turn the tides and pummel you, lazy lion man

Leona: What

Esme: Just wanted to say Hi!

Leona: YOU!!!

Esme: Bye~~

---

Livia: Why is this work so hard

Esme: Maybe, it's all your talking

---

Esme: HEY! *Shoves Jack into a classroom*

Jack: I was in the middle of something!

Esme: SIT!

Jack: *Sits down alarmed*

Esme: Look, you have your goal is becoming strong in this corner and you have your relationship with Liv over here!

Jack: Yes...

Esme: And from what I heard you snapped at Liv and told her to screw off when she suggested you rest after you nearly collapsed from exhaustion

Jack: *Looks down guilty* I did...

Esme: WHICH BRINGS US TO HERE!!

Jack: *Flinches*

Esme: Livia is the bestest friend I have ever had! So if you do anything else, ANYTHING ELSE, to hurt her feelings, I'ma go destroy all them cactuses you worked so hard on! God it!

Jack: *Gulps and nod* Yes, Ma'am...

Esme: Good *Turns and walks away* See you later!

---

Esme: *Frowns at Livia*

Livia: What?

Esme: Your face is just filled with guilt, what did you do

Livia: .....I lost my brothers sword...

Esme: You're dead...

---

Esme: You know Rollo, you're terrible

Rollo: !!!?!!??!???

Esme: But since you're Livias best friend I won't critize you too much, but lets start with your tacky clothes...

---

Esme: Got something to say pinhead?

Ace: P-Pinhead?! SHE CALLED RIDDLE A PINHEAD!!

Esme: Collaring someone just because they didn't come back before curfew, that's pathetic...

Riddle: E-Excuse me?!

Denzel: Uh oh

Trey: Denzel, get ready to grab Riddle

Esme: And you smell like dead fish, is that your cape

Riddle: *Screeches in anger, Denzel picking him up and carrying him away*

Esme: Oh that was his breath...

Deuce: She's gonna get us collared!!!

---

Esme: If you never asked Rollo to tag along and I never asked him to tag along, then that's official he shouldn't have tagged along

Rollo: Quiet miss priss

Livia: Lets not fight!

Esme: He started it...

Rollo: WHAT?!

---

Esme: *Looks at Riddle* Hi shorty

Riddle: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT?!???

Denzel: *Carries Riddle away*

Esme: Cya Shorty...

---

Esme: You know, I've never met someone who was more annoying than Rollo but then I met you

Fellow: *Stares in surprise*

Esme: *Grabs Fellow's tie, snatching him close angrily* Take advantage of my friends kindness again and I shall WHACK you with a metal baseball bat

Fellow: U-Understood!

---

Esme: *Stares down at Gidel, then picks him up* Mine...

Livia: *Laughs*

Fellow: Ahaha...please give him back

---

Esme: *Kicking the Claude Frolli statue at NBC, smearing tomatoes and plums on it* Disgusting, perverted, abusive, ugly, tyrant!!!! I COULD GO ON!!

Rollo: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!

Livia: *Stared in alarm* Oh my great seven...

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress

[oathofkaslana]

i open my mouth to speak but then everyone immediately pummels me with tomatoes before i can say anything.

[applejongho]

ANNATHEAN IM SO GLAD U BOOPED ME FIRST OOOOOOH HOW I MISSED YOU (trans atlantic accent equipped btw)

also hello my sailor moon (fake) jjoongrami go semi-viral on twitter 🧍

HELLOOOOO CHIP, AHOY! see what I did there? [pummeled w tomatoes (or apples?)] I missed u too 😌

Also -- need to see this jjoongrami asap, that's so cute 😭

[jimboo]

My acne has attacked me so bad, I am constantly being pummeled down with rotten tomatoes and I am scaring children with a small glance.

Either im going through an acne purge with the new products Im using, or my face has chosen to go out with a bang (a shotgun)

[the-firebird69]

Demolition Man (1993) Official Trailer - Sylvester Stallone ...

YouTube · Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers

Aug 9, 2014

I find you're supposed to be extremely annoying I was thinking and talk to have you do anything. Y'all don't want to do stuff with Trump so you know how it is and he's very bad by comparison. But if you think you're going to go get away with stuff by being huge assholes and please just leave. We're trying to keep the place from blowing up and down below too and you guys don't do that if not we arrest you when you get incinerated along side Max people resting you it's ridiculous what you're doing to him me and my husband you're nuts

-this movie is playing right now some woman drove her car onto its side to request you to put this movie out in reality not just on TV. It's playing now and they're looking for people who have been captured and they are reviving them and bringing them back and saving them and breaking them out of prison too and that's what this movie message says cryogenics is one of the places where you putting people there's a slow revival process and takes hours and they're running it and it's in LA and it really takes like 45 minutes and there's 80,000 people and they think it's their clan no and you're wondering why they were freezing them with such care and they're getting the information and I don't care what you say Trump you're lazy pig and you're letting it go because you think you're going to take it over and you don't know what your status is you should have checked it it wasn't that great but now it's abysmal and you're bases are wrecked your fleets are gone and are hunted and you haven't feed your people from anything basically what they're doing it's killing you but using your people to do it and these facilities are holding facilities and they're meant to hold people until they have the complete set and to find when this goal is a golden opportunity in this evidence that that's what they're doing but for some reason you don't seem to care even about the facility so you find that to be so despicable and useless that we don't think we should have you around anymore cuz you just want the bad guys to win all the time

Hera

And we do see it and he is doing this kind of thing and we don't have a use for it these facilities are run by clones and the clones are decimating his ranks as we speak and he's not making any headway doing any of his plan and he is not taking over and basically is not going to work for anyone involved and we're going to get him out of here right now he went to his arraignment or indictment whatever it was this and he was charged with all those crimes and he pled not guilty and was released and ran right back here immediately to sit there and stick himself to our son and we do not want him doing that there's also weapon that looks like the laser light weapon without the plasma and apparently he doesn't care about that so these guys want the weaponry and information to get stuff and they're going to go around and raise these places. And the clones are continuously doing it and still are Trump lost half of stuff and half of New Zealand is pummels and it's his half and he is suspicious as to how that happened and their war and pretty soon the whole thing will be gone. A couple other things have brought up by this. One is that he's not a real rebel he doesn't have much use it's true too he's annoying as hell and he is headed out to get the AI and no he's not but he will when he has absolutely no other recourse and that's going on but he was actually charged today arrested and charged and they read him his rights they told me the charger to see declared did not he was not guilty and they set a court date which they're not letting people see because her idiots and it is going on now that Dakota is not that far away. He has another case next weekend already but it is damned annoying what he does he's a fruitcake on top of it. A lot of people interested in arresting him. And he is out on conditions and those are read to him he's not the stock people they told him not to he's not to appear in certain places and there is violated 50 times already and the federal government's going out for him has been too all day and they are destroying him and they should usually filthy piece of s*** for them other things are happening but this guy is taking the front stage again and he's an obnoxious loser and a low life and we can't stand it but we need to get things going you're going to use him until everybody else can't stand it which is apparently never I'm going to keep taking everything. In New Zealand is in turmoil and we're entering now and we're going to help them out. Other areas too are massive terminal and we're going to go and take everything. The Midwest is internal and we're going to take the final quarter from the 3rd because it's going to be freed up tonight in the upper Midwest and the Midwest is closing because of this guy. We're going to post this is important

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus