#and progressive change has never been achieved by going 'i don't believe you exist'

[heathersdesk]

One of my favorite follows on TikTok is Reverend Oliver, a trans pastor in West Virginia whose whole thing is trying to teach leftist people how to shed their worst impulses and inclinations to be better members of their communities. He is a firm advocate for genuine connection, leftist cooperation and community building with those on the right, and the kind of activism that is truly transformative and leaves no one behind.

He made a post, in an ongoing conversation about ways for leftists to identify opportunities to connect with their larger communities, that listed some of the fronts where leftists need to consider society's unmet needs. He included child care and elder care on that list. He also included addiction recovery resources.

Seeing an opportunity for the kind of interfaith connection he's always talking about, I pointed out that the LDS Church has free addiction recovery programs that anyone in the public is invited to attend, regardless of religious affiliation. And unlike other resources like the bishop's storehouse, no interaction with ecclesiastical leadership is necessary or expected. You can just show up, get support, and leave without any expectation of obligation, financial or otherwise, to our church. And honestly, a healthy dose of reality for the program from voices outside of our own community might temper some of the attitudes in our own community about pornography and compulsive masturbation being equivalent to an addiction.

So tell me why a random ex-Mormon took it upon themselves to begin an argument with me in Rev. Oliver's comments about the LDS Church leadership and past animosity towards queer people, that it isn't a safe space for them, that all queer people are forced into conversion therapy (which is false), and people show up in ARP with things that aren't even addictions.

Even after I told that person I'm queer affirming, that I believe these are things the Church can and does need to change, that I have actively been working on those improvements through my church membership since Prop 8, they just kept going. I became the dumpster for their unresolved anger towards the institution, even though I'm a total stranger and have nothing to do with anything they were complaining about. I have never put any queer people into conversion therapy and never would. I'm not Dallin H. Oaks and never tortured queer people at BYU. I think the Church has many sins it needs to answer for in relation to its treatment of queer people. At no point did I disagree or argue against anything that was true. For all intents and purposes, this person and I probably agree about a lot of things.

So why were they still attacking me? I'm actively trying to improve what upsets them without invalidating any of their feelings, and they're still upset with me. Why? What more do they want from me?

I find myself in this position with ex-Mormons all the time. With a tenure on Mormon Twitter that went from 2009-2023, I've seen every form and progression of ex-Mormon sentiment that could ever possibly exist. Especially because I left the Church for a time and did so with heartbreaks of my own. They don't know this when they approach me because they have no idea who I am, and I don't expect them to. But the irony is never lost on me that we could honestly be besties if they would shut and stop making assumptions about me long enough to hear what I'm saying.

And I mean that with my whole chest, and with all the self-recrimination that comes with it: ex-Mormons engage people in fights when they have no intentions of listening, achieving understanding, or engaging in constructive resolution with anyone in relation to the Church. They use people for emotional catharsis, and that's all they want from these interactions. I'm just supposed to sit there and take it. That's what they want. That's what they expect. And when I refuse to engage in the process as a receptacle for their disregulated emotions and the shame they want to make me feel, they get mad at me for not giving them what they wanted from me.

They don't see me as a person. They don't respect me or the work I do. They don't actually want to see the Church grow or improve beyond the ways it hurt them in the past because it means the Church and its people were always capable of doing that, just not for them. And they aren't prepared to feel or confront any of that, emotionally or spiritually. All they've ever wanted is a real apology and real change, but when it happens—when someone from the Church genuinely apologizes to them and tells them they deserved better, as I always do—it's not emotionally satisfying at all. The skies don't part, angels don't sing, and they don't feel any better.

It's like that scene from Malcolm in the Middle where Lois finally apologizes to Francis for being abusive to him when he's not expecting it, he freaks out because he had built up what that apology would look like and what it would accomplish in his mind, and he gets mad at Lois for ruining the fantasy in his mind. She doesn't know what to do, so she asks him if $20 would help. He takes the money in a state of confusion, but clearly still doesn't feel any better because it also doesn't help.

So I'm going to say the same thing here that I did there, for when this inevitably happens here: I'm not going to apologize for trying to make the Church a better, safer place for everyone. I'm not going to apologize for my association with the institutional Church, despite its failures and imperfections. I have made peace with my place here, the good I do, the impact I have, and the changes I am making. This is my church too, and despite what people think, there's room for me here. And as long as I'm here, the Church is a better and safer place for marginalized people because I've committed to making it that way. I don't expect anyone to stay when it's safest and healthiest for them to go, but I'm not going to join them. I already tried that and it was a waste of time for me.

If someone decides to place the validation of their choice to leave the Church on my refusal to go with them, that's not my problem. I don't owe anyone that. And their choice to do that doesn't entitle them to use me as an emotional jizz tissue for their anger at (and grief for) the institutional Church and other people in it I've never even met. Put it in a journal or take it to a therapist you pay for. Don't hand it to me, then get offended when I hand it back to you. It's not mine. If you don't want the nasty end results of your emotional outburst, what makes you think I do?

All of this to say to ex-Mormon folks who do this: have some self-reflection. Do you do this to people? Is it healthy? Does it accomplish any of your goals? Is it helping you to become the person you envisioned you would be when you left the Church? Have you fully formed in your mind who that person is? Have you fully and appropriately grieved for everyone and everything you lost? If not, what impact is that choice having on the rest of your life? And should you be doing something about it instead of arguing with me?

Again, don't tell me. Put it in a journal. Tell a therapist. Or, even better, tell the person who actually hurt you. Because telling me isn't going to make you feel better. And you may not realize this yet, but it's tremendously difficult to be me, too. I'm the one telling your parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, co-workers, and other people in your life at Church that they need to treat you better—how to do it and what it looks like. You need me. What I do is important. It's also exhausting. And if you use up all of my energy in an argument with you, how am I going to do it? Do you think about that? Do you think about what it costs me to be the person you've already decided it's too exhausting for you to be?

I say this with all the love and encouragement I have: either help me or get out of my way. But don't make my job harder. Why would you do that? It doesn't serve you, me, or anyone else. It just makes you look bitter, makes me less effective at creating the changes you want, and all Mormons (former and current) look like we don't have our shit together. Because this isn't new. Every religious tradition on this planet has had to struggle and figure out how to create space for marginalized people. Every branch of Christianity has had to figure out their relationship to their own queer people, to stop actively hurting them and to embrace them instead. You're a part of this transition, even once you leave, by whether or not you perpetuate this animosity with people who stay. We all have to put down our weapons. The fighting will continue as long as anyone anywhere is still throwing punches.

If you're an ex-Mormon, be the best one there is. Be unbothered and totally disengaged from the Church and its problems. Create the life of your dreams with nothing from the past in it, if that's what you need. When the people in your life direct coercion and manipulation at you in relation to your spirituality and church disaffiliation, return to sender. Be so busy being your own best self, you don't have time for any of this.

That's what you deserve. That's what I want for you. That's what many in the Church who stay want for you, because we're not all selfish pricks who get our jollies from forced homogeneity and making people suffer. That's not even the majority of us. It's the people you're actually mad at. Stop treating us like we're all guilty by association. Have the courage to put the dog turd of your displeasure on their porch where it belongs, not mine.

[geekysciencemom]

Many Voices United As One

The political left is missing a central voice, a central unified message.

tRumpism provides a unified identity. There is no message, just an identity where there is only binary based evangelical beliefs where no one is responsible for anyone else and no one is correcting language usage or calling out hateful bigoted rhetoric. They want to say and do and believe whatever they want.

The Civil Rights Movement had a central unified focus, to give African Americans the same citizenship rights that whites took for granted. Many other equal rights movements grew during this time period: including the Black Power Movement, Women's Movement, American Indian Movement, Rainbow "Power", and the Independent Living Movement.

With all these movements, there was still that central unified message demanding Civil Rights, justice, equality, and accessibility.

Most of our leaders from the Civil Rights Era have passed on. We need a unified voice.

Right now, the more liberal leaning movement is fractured along the more progressive younger side and the more lived experience side.

There seems to be many younger people who are bitter. They feel that the world never gave them a chance to even try to achieve a job or buy a home. Gen Z and younger Milennials have basically been told that they are screwed.

Many older people are used to doing things by themselves.

Baby Boomers grew up during the turbulent 60s and 70s. Their parents dealt with the depression and WWII. When the Baby Boomers were growing up, the economy was thriving and factory jobs could be easily found. Baby Boomers could buy homes and build equity. That world doesn't exist anymore.

Growing up, Gen Xers were left to fend for themselves. They basically raised themselves and were expected to just figure life out. They are the children of those who were young during the Civil Rights Era and those who fought in Vietnam. Gen Xers were the lackey kids where both parents worked outside the home. Surviving is what Gen Xers know how to do.

Older Milennials lean more towards how Gen Xers are.

There are generational rifts and no focus, no unified voice to pull people together.

Younger people don't seem to understand that change takes time. Things don't change instantly. Social movements take time and effort. It is about the long haul, not the instant gratification. It is about patience, assertiveness, and understanding.

It is also about not attacking people who don't agree with you or who don't agree with everything in the manner that you want them to.

Holding healthy boundaries is key. There are lines that should not be crossed. Addressing misconceptions is important, but there are people who are determined to not budge no matter what.

Lots of people in this country have been experiencing the Dunning-Kruger Effect. Many want the easy route. And soooo many don't understand what a credible source is and get much of their information, or should I say misinformation, from social media. They also want someone to blame.

There are way too many people who don't understand how things work yet insist that they do. This is a huge problem. They want to feel that they have some sort of control in an ever changing world that they don't understand.

tRumpism gives them that easy route, that sense of control, someone to blame, and the promise that things will go back to a time when they understood the world.

It is all an illusion, but an illusion that tRump supporters have united in.

The more liberal leaning side does not have an anchor.

There is no leader who is seen extreme enough for progressive liking. There are people on the left who want the illusion as well, just a different illusion.

They are against war. They want more humanitarian aid. They want the Green Deal. They want racism, ableism, and bigotry shutdown. They want the language usage changed. They want affordable homes and medical care available to everyone. And they want all this now!

The left has fractured along generational lines and there is nothing currently available that can mend that fracture.

We need to unite under that same focus that was present during the Civil Rights Era - Civil Rights, justice, equality, and accessibility for all!

This needs to be a grassroots effort as it was before, only this time we need to add climate change initiatives, because climate change and human rights are closely linked.

Intersectional approaches need to be used in this grassroots effort.

We need to unite as one voice!! That is how we fight tRumpism.

- Written by Ms. Science Teacher Lady (11/7/2024)

Many Voices United As One

Feel free to share this post.

[musingsofamisfit]

Range

A spectrum of emotions exist within all

Typically a sliding scale of progression in one way or another

Yet folks like I can experience the highest of highs before falling into the deepest despair

Not momentarily, no, it has an appetite of a thousand suns and devours any shred of brilliance

All the habits of health learned are no match, they are the first things thrown out

No need to care for oneself if the outcome will be death,

Death will happen eventually, lacking care within only expedites the process

I am not begging to die, merely allowing them to shake my hand

Never actually within their reach of reaping, but always close enough

The whiplash of life shudders thru my bones pleading for another day

And so I do, I continue on and on until it seems picturesque, pristine to those peering in

But then is when it collapses again, and again, and again

When will my soul be rid of this cycle? Nearing nirvana and tearing it away

For some sick pleasure? For some convoluted humor? To stifle me with agony?

I need not know what, who, or why it plays out this way...

What is needed is the power, strength, and courage to keep fighting, keep achieving

Out of spite? If that's what it takes to start, then so be it

I will not let the circumstances of my downfall repeat without change

No, I will be the change, growing and learning with each new challenge, because there is no other choice

Welcoming death's warm embrace isn't permitted, not now

They may be kind with the "you've done well" 's and "you can rest" 's

But I know this can't be all I am meant for

There has to be more and I simply need to survive to see it

If I can't believe in that, well...then we know who will guide my hand into nothing

~zen

super personal one today, i have been going thru it and maybe this will be your reminder to stay one more day. people love and care about you, despite what your brain and illnesses say, choose to stay just one more day, and say that until you don't have to anymore❤️

[eldritchsurveys]

1232.

Could you be friends with someone who was exactly like you? >> It would be incredibly difficult because the thing about me is that I'm very self-protective and avoidant-leaning and if both of us are that way, then the relationship can't really progress. It's people with opposite but complementary traits (like being garrulous, emotionally frank, demonstrative, a bit nosy, hard to discourage, etc) that have the best chance with me, even if they also drive me batty sometimes, lol.

Is something expensive better than something made with love? >> Ultimately, if someone's giving me a gift, what I care about the most is whether I can use that gift or not. Sure, I would be over the moon to get a thoughtful, personalised gift from someone I care about, but I also am not going to turn down Sparrow's mother (whom I do not like) buying me things off my wishlist for Christmas that I wouldn't be able to afford otherwise. Like the really good earbuds that have been saving my sanity since this last Christmas.

When was the last time you lied? >> I don’t remember. I really don't lie all that much, if at all. There's just never any need to.

What do you think of stealing? >> I don't do it anymore mostly because I can't afford the repercussions for being caught, but I'm pro-shoplifting.

If you could be told when you were going to die, would you want to know? >> I’d rather not. I have enough problems.

What would you do in case of the zombie apocalypse? >> I don't have a zombie contingency plan.

If you died right now, what would be your biggest regret? >> I am always afraid of dying because the idea of dying without ever getting a chance to know what it's like to not suffer all the time is... really, really depressing. Like, what was the point of it all, then.

Are you happy with the way this last week has gone? >> It's been fine. What do you believe was your greatest achievement? >> Killed Korvaak the Eldritch Sun (aka he who hath stolen my epithet, the knave) on Ultimate difficulty in Grim Dawn without even being properly kitted out.

What have you learned from pain? >> That it hurts. A fucking lot. And there's a lot of it to be had. Like... let's be real here

Do you believe in freedom? >> Uh. Would you ever take a job you hated just to get money? >> I think trying to do this would break me. I am just not built like that.

Lately, have you felt rushed or bored with things? >> I have not.

What was the last text or IM you sent? >> I sent Sparrow a link from the city subreddit about an ADHDer meetup at Horrock's on Wednesday. How much TV do you watch in a week? >> I watch maybe like 7-10 hours of my shows a week, total. When you help someone, do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” >> Not in so many words. I have an Accountant in my mind that is profoundly convinced that we don't have enough spare energy to be giving to anyone else, and if we give energy to other people, we will be drained and never refilled. We are afraid to extend ourselves to a world that we feel has never extended itself to us. Are you joyful right now? >> Not especially. But I acknowledge the capacity for such, which is a start.

Do you know the difference between living and simply existing? >> I know it acutely.

If your life was a novel, what would the title be? >> I'm not sure.

Could you picture any celebrity playing you in a movie? >> I cannot. There are a couple of actors that could possibly look enough like me if you squinted really hard, but I don't know if they could pull off conveying the way I am as a person. I mean, maybe they could. Who am I to limit a character actor's potential. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? >> What?

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? .

If a human life span was 20 years, would you live differently? >> Obviously. So would everyone. Society as a whole would be vastly different.

Do you think you have a lot of control over your life? >> I don't think that.

Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right thing? >> I am vastly uninterested in "the right thing", because that's an ever-moving goalpost that largely depends on the morality of whoever is constructing said goalpost. "Doing things right" is more compelling, especially if it's a thing like "installing game mods without breaking said game". Would you rather have the cookie or the cream of an Oreo? >> Eugh.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people? >> I don't know, man.

What is the simplest way to make you happy? .

Right now, what’s holding you back? >> From what? Need some specifics here.

Would you rather lose all of your memories or never be able to have more? .

Is there someone you could just smile at and be content with? >> I... what?

When was the last time you had deja vu? >> I don't think I've ever experienced it.

Who would you like to visit more than anyone? .

What would you do differently if no one would judge you? >> *shrug* When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? >> I notice that all the time. Not because I breathe particularly loudly. I just notice too much shit.

Would you ever adopt a child? >> I would not. I also would never be eligible, anyway.

Could you change to suit someone else’s needs? >> It depends???

If you could be in a Disney movie, what would it be? >> I don’t want to be in a Disney movie.

If you could view the Earth from above, would you be disappointed? >> I can't imagine what would be disappointing about this.

Is there something you just cannot get out of your head? >> Songs, usually. Also whatever weird phrase has decided to become my internal echolalia for the hour.

Do you get jealous of people with fancy things? >> Sure. I can be envious of anything, honestly. It's less about the actual thing and more about feeling an overall sense of lack.

When was the last time you ate? >> A couple of hours ago. Have you ever felt like you just weren’t good enough? >> Sure.

Would you rather wear really girly or really masculine clothing? .

Is there someone you find incredibly attractive? >> Sure.

Do you ever get entertained by the simplest things? >> I can be, yes.

When was the last time you just stared into space? >> I don’t remember. It happens fairly often.

Could you pick one outfit to wear for the rest of your life? >> I would not want to do this.

What is the most amount of money you could possibly spend in a day? .

Do you really give a fuck about what people say? >> Sure, I'm bound to give a fuck about what some people say. Just not every people. Not even most people.

Do you tend to be curious or share your own opinion? >> Both? They’re not mutually exclusive traits.

Ever remembered a nightmare? >> Sure.

Is there a song from a genre you hate that you can actually stand? >> I think if I were to hate a genre, it'd be because there are no songs I've heard from it that I can stand. If there's even one, then I don't think I hate that genre. I just hate, like, the popular bands in it or whatever. Like country -- I really don't care for a lot of country music, but the songs I do like, I really like. You know? I just have specific tastes. What do you feel like doing right now? >> I don’t feel like doing anything different from what I’m doing now.

If you could make anything glow in the dark, what would it be? .

Do you really like the food at fast food places? >> Occasionally. Chicken sandwiches have gotten better thanks to the fact that Popeye's sandwiches were so popular for a little while.

Don’t you hate those people that can just eat as much as they want? >> The unspoken part is "and not get fat", and this whole concept is based in a really fucked-up paradigm about fatness that I refuse to entertain. I can eat just as much as I want, period. If I get fat in the process, that is a neutral correlative-but-not-necessarily-causative event.

Have you bothered to think of the future lately? >> Interesting phrasing in this question. I do think about the future, but usually in a despairing, catastrophising way. Would you rather have stars in the sky or the moon? .

If you could choose your phone number, what would it be? .

Would you rather be somewhere familiar or get lost? >> That would depend on if I was feeling adventurous or not. Are you afraid of what you do not know? >> Sometimes.

Is there something you are always interested in? >> My special interests tend to endure across the decades, yeah.

What are people always saying to you? . What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? >> I don’t remember.

Do you have a question for anyone right now? >> I do not.

Do you like buffet restaurants? >> No more or less than I like any other kind of restaurant.

Is there something you always order when you go out to eat somewhere? >> I don't think so. I do have things I generally prefer over other things, but I'm a rather adventurous eater, all told.

Do you mainly live by the moon or the sun? >> The Sun.

When was the last time you felt like you were starving? >> A few weeks ago. I wasn't, not really, but food insecurity is a bitch.

Would you ever dye your hair all the colors of the rainbow? >> I would not.

Do you miss childhood at all? >> Absolutely not.

What has made you laugh lately? >> Oh, stuff.

What drives you absolutely crazy? >> Oh, other stuff. If a Miley Cyrus song was playing in a store, would you leave? >> No?? I can't think of any artist so offensive to my ears that I would leave a store just because they were playing. Most pop songs are like 3 minutes tops anyway, it'd probably be over by the time I got to the exit :V

Do you like listening to music on speakers? >> I rarely do it, I prefer headphones.

Ever feel paranoid? >> Rarely.

Have you ever actually discovered someone watching you? >> Sure.

What would you do if you found an inappropriate picture of yourself online? >> I have no idea. This isn't a situation I'm ever likely to find myself in, so I don't have any thoughts about it.

What do you think of Facebook? >> I don't care for it.

Do you like extra butter on your popcorn? .

Would you rather have Junior Mints or Reese’s? .

Do you still use CDs? >> Not at all.

Have you ever taken a polaroid? >> I have. Do you wish you could live in the past just to see what it was like? >> I do not. Ever felt like you just didn’t belong in this place? >> Always. What was the last thing you learned? >> I don’t remember.

Have you ever avoided going to the bathroom because you were busy? >> Constantly. Also because I hate going to the bathroom.

Do you have anything underneath your bed? >> Just dust. Lots and lots of dust.

Would you want a walk-in closet? >> Maybe. I like having storage options even if I don't have a whole lot of stuff.

Do you like coffee at all? >> Occasionally. I had some this morning, in fact.

When was the last time you felt pressured? >> I don’t usually feel that way.

Would you rather have your hair straight or really curly? .

Do you use any products on your hair? >> I use scalp oils.

What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? >> I have no idea. I'm known for my short, efficient showers.

Still play with any childhood toys? >> I do play with toys, but not from my own childhood. Would you rather sleep with a sheet or a blanket? >> I love a weighted blanket and/or a nice, fluffy duvet. But weather is not always permitting.

When was the last time you were in physical pain? >> Monday, when I had to break into my own house through the aircon window because Sparrow had been back and locked the door behind them while I was gone (and I'd left it unlocked when I left and didn't have my key on me).

How many times have you broken a bone? >> Zero.

Do you have a preference of chocolate? >> My favourite kind is dark with sea salt and... uhh. something else. I haven't bought chocolate in months and I've already forgotten what my go-to variety is x_x

Have you ever thought anything was evil? >> Not really.

Could you make a statement about anything political? >> I would really rather not.

What is something useless that you love to do? >> I've actually decided that I only love to do useless stuff. Everything I do is useless. That's my thing. Useless shit. It sounds like I'm being mean to myself but actually it's been ironically stress-relieving. I think we're really tired of feeling like we have to be of use in order to validate our existence, and it's nice to go "actually, I'm going to do the opposite on purpose".

Do you have a favorite author? >> Not right now. I think Adrian Tchaikovsky and Mary Doria Russell are contenders, though.

Know anything about your family history? .

Have you ever been scared of something foolish? . What do you think of bejeweled things? .

Do you own anything “designer?” >> I do not.

Do you ever stop and appreciate little things? >> Sure.

If you had to draw your life, what would it mainly include? . Is there something that just draws you in like a moth to a flame? >> Sure. I actively seek out stuff that draws me in like that. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? >> Just Can Calah, as always. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? >> I could not picture this.

If you had a few wishes, would you give one to someone who needed it? . Have a lucky clothing item? >> I do not.

What makes you feel more carefree than anything else? >> Good question.

And finally, who do you just adore right now, regardless of anything else? >> Again: Can Calah, as always.

[satsumaspeach]

WORDS I'LL TREASURE FOREVER

January 25

You are my only romantic fiction

February 13

Well I don't know, I enjoy you

March 28

If I am a sapiosexual flirt the answer is you

April 19

Don't be sad though, think what you have achieved in the last few months. Your much better off than you were and you only narrowly missed out on this job. Not because you couldn't do it but becsuse they preferred another candidate for their own personal reasons.

Not entirely, but you are a friend who I would not wish to hurt

April 27

Always a good choice is my favourite as well x

April 29

Make the most of it you deserve it.

Don't cry, toast to your success and go to bed more than satisfied with all you have accomplished.

May 3 (Chicken Wings)

Saw that on TV and thought of you

May 5 (Maria Ressa)

The thought of my two favourite Filipinos working together lol

Well I had faith in you so eventually I believed that you would change your mind

May 17

It's been a long day for me too. I think you'll like this one https://youtu.be/seZMOTGCDag get some rest and enjoy and sleep well

Its very chilled I listened to it this morning and thought of you.

May 29

Hi Ri I am fine, my weekend is still going and is a good one, I managed to achieve what I needed to yesterday and was busy fixing the garden. I have heard people say before how reading an old book is like revisiting an old friend but not being a reader of books its not something that I have experienced. I am glad you enjoy it though. Why do you say your existence is stagnant is it because you are still yearning for change or because you are missing something? I found that when I was younger I would think about doing great things, but growing up and growing older is a process of coming to terms with the limitations of life and the constraints of this world, realising what actually is important. So find your place in this world, enjoy it and continue to flourish because I know that your existence can never be stagnant x

June 3

Morning Ri x, hope you are well. How has your week been? Have you connected with the real world a bit more. I would ponder that on my trip into London each day. Please remember I am always wishing for the best for you x.

Thats okay I thought a lot about messaging you but based on your previous reply I thought maybe I give you a little time. I kind of thought thats why you hadn't messaged.

June 4

Morning Ri, I am not sure if it is a long or short 6 months. So much has changed since we first spoke but it also doesn't feel like that long ago. Its very suprising what an awkward conversation can lead to and sometimes its the unexpected things that give us the greatest joy.

June 7

You have to remember alcohol is a strong social drug

Lol, the trick is to drink a little, which is good for overcoming anxiety and involves you into their social customs…. but not too much.

June 9

Well there is questions about most efficient and flexible way for governments to meet the needs of people, but by creating federal states there is a risks… such as fueling those areas want for independence or increasing the divide between areas

July 7

Keep excelling and using your muggle born magic lol

July 10

I wil toast the girl for swatting up better than even the swattiest of swats 🍻

July 14

I would say always take positive steps, if you are unsure of your current work the answer is not to step backwards but find a way of taking another step.

Personally I don't think your reasons are strong enough to make the decision to go back. You were overworked,your colleagues were lazy they relied on you too much, you worked crazy hours, you horrendous travel and no expenses.

Also, going back seems like an easy option… its certainly an easy option for them. However recruiting you to the same position doesn't make me think they value you as much as they should and once they have done that where is the progression, where is the incentive for them to proactive in helping you progress.

Also, going back seems like an easy option… its certainly an easy option for them. However recruiting you to the same position doesn't make me think they value you as much as they should and once they have done that where is the progression, where is the incentive for them to proactive in helping you progress.

What you should have learnt after quitting is that you have talent and those talents are saleable. Be the ambitious and driven person that you are.

July 15

Not everyone no

July 26

Hopefully your life is clicking again where you can find comfort in both your personal and professional life.

August 4

I think you are more successful than you realise, I am pleased that finally you feel appreciated at work. I hope that this vindicates your decision to battle through for a bit longer and proves that you arethe person that she hired 😀.

August 9

I hope you will figure things out. Our conversations correlate with a big change in your life and I believe a very positive one. Relationships are often formed and grounded by shared experiences, so aside from lust, thats how more meaningful bonds are created.

August 10

The problem is its not the movies and the world is not ideal, no matter how much you can try to be okay and pretend to understand… really how are you supposed to feel. Especially when you would not have done the same thing. In the movies romance conquers all and love is something that shines through and is even strengthened by adversity. I completely understand how terrible such a thing is and the damage that it can cause. But you get have continue on, find new meaning and eventually be brave enough to trust someone again.

And thats the cruelty of it a mental scar that is not visible to anyone but you.

August 11

It would be easier if you were a slut, but you may be lonely and weird and have misplaced beliefs, but above all you are caring

Well I don't think it will be easy to forget you.

You are a complication, not what I originally expected

Something I shouldn't exploit

Someone so open to be loved and to love with the fullness of their heart

September 2

I do realise. I like your deeply affectionate nature. However it also worries me because in searching for affirmation you show that you are vulnerable and fragile. I wish you could just be Ri and enjoy life, confident in how great you are (but not big headed lol). The question is what am I a friend, a part time lover or a projection of your wants and desires. I think it has been a muddle of them all. I am not sure what I can be for you, or what is best for you. I would just like you to be happy.

[sophieinwonderland]

@sntfrmheaven

No. I'm just breaking the cycle.

Selfish would be hiding away and pretending like system issues exist in a vacuum. Because as long as we keep fighting amongst ourselves, absolutely nothing will change.

Systems have been in a state of constant infighting online for nearly 30 years. In that time, while progress has been made, it has been at a snail's pace.

The problem with syscourse is that it's become escapism. It lets us all play pretend and argue about things that most of us don't think are that important. The system community is too comfortable not making waves. Only fighting each other as a distraction from the horrors that are happening around us in the world.

If nothing changes, then we will avoid the real threats up until the fascists lock us up for being mentally ill or gender non-conforming. Yes, I am putting a specific target on the back of the system community. But we all know that the conservatives would come after us for other reasons anyways.

Tell me, how excited are you to able to say in 10 years that while fascists were stripping trans people of their rights, you were making posts attacking endogenic systems for existing?

The path to plural awareness was always going to lead to resistance from conservatives. There was never a scenario where we could achieve awareness and acceptance without this fight.

It was always just a matter of when.

The conservative right were always going to be the dragon at the end of the story. But with this latest election, my biggest fear is that our story ends before it begins.

That our community will be apathetic, paralyzed by a fear of making waves. Then our right will be quietly extinguished along with trans people and other neurodivergents without making so much as a peep.

And as far as exposing people who can't handle it... Like I said, we are already doing that to ourselves. We, in this state of endless infighting

Systems are already fake claiming each other. We are already bullying each other, sending each other death threats. We have the luxury of being able to do this, because we don't think the threats on the horizon are important enough to worry about.

I used to think that the best strategy was going to be to wait. Wait until our community was more united. But now, I worry that our community doesn't need to be united so that we can fight a common enemy. I believe that we need a common enemy so that we can be united.

re: your maga post

i dont think its a good idea to try to show maga supporters into the plural community :( a lot of them hate us and wont be convinced, they might harass you and other people nonstop - this is out of genuine concern

Let them come. 🤷‍♀️

I've dealt with harassment as long as I've had this account. I'm not afraid of them. They should be afraid of me.

And I don't need to convert them all. Even if the majority hate me for my existence, if I convince even just three, that would be a net positive for my limited reach.

[nakedbibi333]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙

Even if you think you have the best self-concept, there can be some things that you are not aware of that completely go against the assumption that you are the god of your reality. Like for me, I've been shy, anxious, and self-conscious, felt frustrated over things happening in my life, or the way people act, or worried about my future and so many things all while thinking I had a perfect self-concept. I began to realize that I have been allowing the option for things to not go exactly as I say because of this victim mindset.

Even if you believe that manifestation exists and you have the power to use it, you can still be stuck in this victim mindset. That is because you are stuck in a sort of middle ground in which you acknowledge that you are powerful, but not so much the operant power of your life. You can manifest some "small" things, but other things tend to give you significant trouble. These are mostly the "big" things. If you are still labeling your manifestations as small and thinking that the only one's you haven't achieved are big, then you need to remove yourself from the victim mindset.

You are more powerful than you have given yourself credit. A victim mindset consists of you thinking that you cannot truly get every single thing you desire exactly as you desire it. It also consists of you thinking of failure or half-manifestations as an option. You may be lingering in this mindset if you consistently cannot make progress in your self-concept, if you find yourself "failing" your manifestations, if you find yourself impatient or frustrated with the process, if you have trouble making methods work (ex. the void), or if you have trouble not reacting to the 3D. If you don't truly believe that imagination is the true reality and the 3D is only an illusion or a screen showing your internal reality to you, then you need to work on your victim mindset.

The great news is that you can change this assumption instantly. Even just being aware that you have been stuck in a victim mindset helps you realize it now every time you see yourself acting out in it as well. All you need to do is step into your power as the god of your reality. Stop thinking that you cannot control every aspect of your life with just your mind, stop thinking that certain things are impossible. Stop questioning your power. You are god. Things can happen instantly for you. You can have your dream body, dream face, sp, millions of dollars, fame, power, whatever you want in a moment if you just move out of this victim mentality and step into your power.

Affirmations to get out of the victim mindset:

I am the operant power of my reality

I am the god of my reality

Everything has to go my way

I have the perfect life

Failure is never an option for me

I am safe because nothing happens in my reality without my permission

Nothing manifests in my reality unless I specifically say so

Everyone and everything is under my command

Nothing has any power over me

I always manifest everything I desire

Success is all I encounter all day every day

I am limitless

Everything and everyone I desire is instantly mine

[neurodihuegent]

[PART ONE] Huey's character development: season 1 to season 3.

with ducktales 2017 coming to a close in less than two weeks, i thought that now was best of all times to create a post of how i think huey has developed as a character throughout all three seasons. please remember, this post is just based on how I see his character development, and you're free to have your own ideas and/or not agree with all of my points!

1.) learning to adjust to new environments/accepting failures: When we were first introduced to huey's character, one of the biggest take aways was that he's a very "by the book" kind of a person, and has a hard time adjusting to foreign environments or situations that he will need to go with the flow and what he already knows, rather than doing everything by the book.

This was mainly introduced in "The Terror of the Terrafirmians!" in season one, where we could literally see Huey scrambling to make sense of the situation, and at some points, spouting out B.S. to make sense of the situation in his head. While he did end up coming to terms that the Terrafirmians are in fact, very real, he still only decided to believe it once it was documented in his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook.

Progressively throughout the show, we see Huey being put in situations where he has to be able to think quick on his feet rather than anxiously try to sort out all that he knows from the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. Because of his personality, Huey not only had a hard time adjusting to foreign environments, but it's also been shown that he has a hard time accepting set backs as well. From what we've seen, it's easy to infer that when Huey has his mind set on something, he will do nothing short of achieving that goal: And when said goal is not achieved, or is starting to look like it won't be achieved, he takes it very personally.

This is especially seen in "The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!" and "The Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!": Where in "The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks", even though Huey was definitely more qualified for the position by a significant amount, when Dewey got the position, his first instinct was to get angry instead of congratulate his brother: Granted, Dewey wasn't completely deserving of the position over Huey, and at this point, Huey was just a kid still learning how to manage his emotions, but his instictive reaction tells a lot about his character at the time. Thankfully, we see this progress with "The Challenfe of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!", where Huey is once again put in a situation where the odds were against him, considering that this time around, Violet was more qualified and prepared for the position than he was. At first, Huey does take this badly, getting super anxious that he'll have to do a challenging, dangerous course that no 11-12 year old probably should be doing, on his lonesome without even the help of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, which has been shown to be a source of comfort for Huey. At one point, he is only surviving through the course by creating a talking Junior Woodchuck Guidebook in his head, but even that goes south as he gets so overwhelmed and anxious to the point where he sets it on fire in his head. Eventually, noticing how far he's fallen behind Violet, and realizing how deserving she is of the title over him despite his love for everything Junior Woodchucks, he is able to come to terms with the fact that he lost, and instead of getting upset or beating himself up for it, he gracefully allows her to be announced as the winner, and shows her his full support. This is meaningful, because if this was season 1 Huey, we honestly can not say that his reaction to his loss would've been the same: He probably would've gotten a lot more upset about it than he actually did in season 3.

"Quack Pack!", despite somewhat being more of a comedic episode, also sheds light on how Huey's learned to adjust with a change in environment: He was the first character (other than Donald, who was fully aware) to pick up on the fact that they are in an alternate universe, set inside of a 1990s sitcom, and becomes increasingly anxious about it as a result, especially since everyone was pretty much oblivious of it at first. However despite this, when the family confronts Donald about the wish, while Donald does make a compelling point of how this scenario gives them a sense of normalcy and security, Huey also brings up the fact that despite the hardships they may face, adventuring is an integral part of their new found family. Even though Huey has always been pretty enthusiastic about adventuring, especially in comparison to Louie and pre-season 3 Donald, there has been times where adventuring has caused him anxiety due to being confronted with new settings or situations that he doesn't immediately know how to handle, so considering this, I think that line alone has shown the great improvement Huey has made with adjusting.

2.) embracing "The Duke": in the first two seasons, while we always had somewhat of an idea that huey was the triplet that inherited the infamous McDuck anger, "The Duke" wasn't something that was necessarily explored much in the first two seasons, leading people to believe that it was just for comedic plot. However, in season 3, we finally got an image of what "The Duke" actually is and represents, alongside with how Huey truly feels about this side of him.

Based on my perception of "The Split Sword of Swanstantine", Huey sees The Duke as an entire separate entity from himself rather than just how far his anger can really go, decides to completely reject this side and keep it locked away in his brain. Of course, we've had our early season moments where The Duke "slipped out", but for the most part, leading up to The Split Sword of Swanstantine, we never really got a full glimpse of what exactly the Duke is: and given his personality, it makes sense as to why Huey was rejecting this side of him instead. Not only does The Duke represent one of Huey's most vulnerable states, but knowing how far his anger can go, goes completely against the side of his personality that he does allow to shine: Being orderly, being well put together, and being the brain of his sibling trio, which being blinded by anger would all deter. Despite the strength that embracing his anger gives him, Huey obviously still sees it as a weakness, because it's the side of him he doesn't want people to see, especially those closest to him, because before the events of The Split Sword, Huey didn't exactly have the greatest control of his anger, so while nobody would want to think of it, no one knows how far he could really go if he's pissed enough.

However, thanks to the encouragement of Lena, Huey was finally able to embrace that side of him, and fully gain control over his anger which is something we don't typically see with the infamous McDuck Anger, given that the only way he could defeat Steelbeak who had an obvious advantage, was to tap into his true strength. The biggest takeaway Huey got from this situation, is that his anger shouldn't be treated as if it's a separate entity, or as if it's something to be embarassed of, but to truly embrace that side of himself, and learn how to control it, all things that he was able to accomplish by the end of "The Split Sword of Swanstantine".

3.) building new relationships:

Since season one, it's been hinted that Huey does struggle a bit on the friendship aspect of things. He does have very close relationships with his brothers and Webby, but even these can be hindered by clashing personalities and differing interests. Even though it's fairly obvious that HDLW all love and support each other like family, Huey has never really exactly been shown to have a bond with someone where he shares completely similar interests: Now, this isn't really important in friendship, often times opposites attract even down to the friendship aspect, but it is nice to have someone where you can just sit and chat about similar interests, and do stuff together that you'll both enjoy.

The first time we've gotten a hint at Huey struggling with making friends was in "The Day of the Only Child!", where, if the Beagle Brothers didn't show up, Huey would've been out of luck with finding two other participants for the three-man cookout, considering that everyone else was already paired up and Louie and Dewey were already off doing their own things for the day. Also hinted in that same episode, is the fact that Huey make struggle with loneliness as well (Huey "Be horribly alone." Dewey: "For once!"), given that he's spent most if not all of his life constantly with his brothers and Donald, so even if him and his brothers did have fall outs every here and there, he could always rely on them to be there given that outside of them, he didn't rely have any other friends.

Now, this somewhat turns around in season 2, when we're introduced to Fenton, who Huey not only idolizes as Gizmoduck, but looks at like a genuine best friend and most likely, as an older brother figure. Besides Huey's admiration of Gizmoduck, it's been shown that they bond over their similar interest in science, and in general, Huey is constantly looking out for Fenton and always wanting to protect his best friend from any danger or hurt that he himself can prevent. Despite Fenton undoubtedly being Huey's closest friend, I think that it's also important to shed light on the friendships that he's made that are more in his age group.

Following the events of Astro BOYD!, we are introduced to Boyd and Huey's friendship, two characters that existed in the show prior but never had any interactions. Huey and Boyd bond over their interest in the Junior Woodchucks, something that we once again see Huey get backlash for from his fellow Woodchucks, for being too "by the book" and not just "relaxing and being a kid" (even going as far to label him as a "robot"). Even in Boyd's malfunctioning, Huey is determined to stay by his side until the end, not only because of their shared interests and the bonding they began to do at the very beginning of the episode, but also because Huey understood what it was like to be cast away and treated as less just for being different (or in Huey's words, "wired a little differently"). Even though Fenton is Huey's closest friend by a margin, I would consider Boyd's friendship with him really meaningful, at least given the circumstances of how they became friends in the first place: Two people who were cast aside, for not being what society considered the "perfect/normal kid", and instead of people working with them, they were just cast aside easily. Considering how fast Huey probably had to grow up given the circumstances of living with Donald who, despite being an amazing father figure, dealt with poverty pretty often, it's no wonder why he's very mature for his age and very "by the book", but it's also no wonder why kids who probably didn't have to grow up with those circumstances, would easily be turned off. Louie and Dewey are a lot more understanding considering they grew up in the same setting, but even they dealt with it differently, often leading to their personalities clashing, which is even lampshaded in this episode as another insecurity of Huey's when building relationships ("Are you sure you want me to continue? My brothers are usually *begging* me to stop.).

We're also introduced to another friendship at the very beginning of season three, with Violet. Even though at the beginning, things were a bit rocky considering how anxious Huey was getting from the Senior Woodchuck competition, and his determination to beat Violet, even to the point of leaving him behind when she probably needed him the most, by the end of the episode, we see both Violet and Huey not only reconcile, but start to actually bond. During this high stress situation, Violet was a great source of relief for Huey, using her own experiences of failure to inspire Huey to not give up, and that even if he does lose (which he did) in this specific situation, there'll be more opportunities because he is great when it comes to the Junior Woodchucks. Even when Violet wins, instead of being bitter which would definitely be expected considering that Huey is a child and how much he was anticipating winning, he is able to put his grievances aside and congratulate her because she helped him greatly during a point of weakness. Even if Violet and Huey's friendship didn't end up as closeknit as his and Boyd's, or as prominent as his and Fenton's, I think this was still a meaningful connection for him as Violet was great balance for the anxiety that he was feeling at the time, and despite him leaving her behind, she beared no ill will towards him.

This is only the first part, where I examined what I felt were the key component to his character development over the last three seasons, and the next post will focus on other aspects that weren't as focused on during the series!

[awed-frog]

Out of curiosity, do you see Cas as a moral character? Because I've always seen him as someone who is more driven by purpose than an innate sense of morals. I don't remember a time when Cas would shy away from a morally ambiguous act if it helped the cause he was currently serving. He never seeks to cause pain, and he will switch causes if he thinks what is trying to be achieved is wrong. But take for instance Lily Sunder. The issue wasn't that he killed her child, it was that her kid wasn't 1/2

actually a nephelim. That was why he was upset that it had happened. Even almost a decade out from being under heaven’s command, he still saw killing a child as morally acceptable. I just don’t see at one point exactly this is supposed to have changed in his character? Not that he hasn’t developed, but that the part of him that believes the ends justify the means has clung on pretty tightly throughout the years, and I’d argue it was there in season 5 and 6, as well as 8 onwards. 2/2

Well, it’s actually very difficult to answer this question because it’s hard to pin down, exactly, what morality is and where it comes from. If you want my opinion, I think morality has to do with a shared experience. You can’t know right from wrong in a void. You need to belong to a community and see what goes on in it and how other individuals respond to those events. And that’s part of the reason why we’re having so much trouble negotiating our new, interconnected world: because for centuries, we could pretend the human experience and human morals were some universal, God-given instinct, when in fact, it’s something that’s strongly influenced by our cultural traditions. 

(Man, think of all the trouble we’re having coming up with shared moral values in our multicultural societies: is circumcision right or wrong? What about ritual slaughter of animals? And veiling small girls? Sex ed in schools? Arranged marriages? Faith schools? As Western people, we were so used to having all the answers that we sort of got blindsided when we learned our ideas were not universal values but just, well - opinions.) 

In this sense, I don’t see Cas - or any of the angels - as inherently capable of morality or immorality. To me, they are amoral creatures, because they exist in a different space. Traditionally, and for primal religious reasons, we like to represent these beings as bargain-makers, and that tends to showcase their different set of morals. The story normally goes, ‘stupid and/or desperate person makes unfair bargain, creature delivers but then heartlessly asks for their dues’. We’ve got hundreds of variations on this theme, from gods asking not to be watched to witches and fairies demanding babies in exchange for basil and gold, and it speaks volumes, of course, that we can add an illustrious human exception to his list - Shakespeare’s Shylock, who asked for human flesh in exchange for a financial loan. 

(Supernatural, by the way, also makes liberal use of this bargaining trope, but they could have done more, in my opinion, to show just how much angels, and not only demons, function according to those rules.)

In this sense, Cas can’t be truly moral until he’s fully human - or, at least, willingly embracing some kind of human life. We’re very far from that, and, so it seems, losing what little progress we’d made with every passing minute. What Cas has developed, I think, is empathy, which is the foundation for a moral compass but also something that’s very distinct from it. While I agree with you that Cas still functions a lot according to his own internal rules (in that, for instance, killing Lily’s child would have been acceptable if she’d been a Nephilim), recently he’s also chosen to trust his own tentative empathy much more than anything else. The problem being, of course, that the vague onset of empathy he’d been feeling on and off for millennia and had caused him so much trouble seems to have shifted and solidified as full-on love not for humanity as a whole, but for ‘humanity’, his brother and his other friends and relatives. This is what worries me, and this is why the entire situaton is fucked up. These days, we’re talking a lot about self-driving cars, and everybody’s concerned about the fact the software inside them might be designed to make logical - and amoral - decisions - for instance, if a collision is inevitable, crash the car with the lowest number of passengers so as to minimize loss of life - because those logical decisions are not the ones we would make for ourselves (any driver would choose to save himself and his family, no matter who’s in the other car). What Cas has basically turned into, however, is a different kind of AI: a software that will do its best to keep every car safe, but will also systematically protect two or three specific drivers, no matter the cost. This is a problem we don’t have to face at the moment because AIs don’t have feelings (yet), but in the show, it’s turning into a real issue, because no matter how much Sam or Dean want to shield each other form harm, they’re human, and there’s a limit to the havoc they can wreak on the universe while doing so. Cas, however - that’s a different matter. He’s got enough power and knowledge to do some very serious damage, and that’s emerged quite clearly over the last few seasons. It was him, ultimately, who allowed the pro-Amara spell to go forward, and it was him who unthinkingly decided to kill Billie despite the consequences that was likely to have (and didn’t, but that’s a different rant). For Cas, his newly developed empathy seems to imply - depending on who’s writing him - that there is simply no line anymore. Empathy in an amoral character - that, perhaps, is the most dangerous thing of all, because love is changeable and unpredictable.

(I’m not saying any of this is Cas’ fault, of course, or that it can’t be corrected. I’m just annoyed by how it’s so rarely acknowledged by the show - that Cas is not human, that his perspective is different, that his decision-making process is fundamentally other - but apparently there’s no way out here. Embracing Cas’ alienness with more attention to detail would mean devoting more time to him, which the show doesn’t want to do; and negating that alienness by allowing Cas to complete his journey and become human - either literally or metaphorically - is also a no-go, because that would place him in the Bunker 24/7 and thus make him a true main character - and a main character who’s got years’ worth of romantic subtext and UST with Dean.)

[freedom-of-fanfic]

I need your help friend, the fandom is at stake: can you do a quick recap of why shipping isn't activism? And I don't mean just in terms of antis, but also the anti-backlash where people defend their ships by trying to prove they're actually progressive (which would still imply you need to prove your ship is not harmful before shipping it). Fans may have good intentions and mean no harm, but social justice is not achieved through fantasy.

what a good question. let me see if I can do this justice with a good answer.

Why Shipping is Not Activism

(edited on August 6th, 2018, 1 year after initial writing)

First off: let’s define ‘shipping’ as ‘desiring two characters to have romantic and/or sexual interactions and using social media or fanworks to share this desire with others.’  So: specifically looking at shipping as a social activity here, because I hope we can all agree that ‘shipping it’ - simply wishing for two characters to have some kind of interaction in your head - is not activism because it’s thoughts, which on their own nobody else knows about and thus can’t have an impact.

Shipping as activism is mainly talked about in the context of being ‘queer/LGBT representation’, and everything else is treated as secondary.*  So I’ll be talking about this primarily from that POV.

Okay.

shipping is not activism because shipping doesn’t do two important things that activism does: 

shipping does not generate or act as mainstream representation

shipping does not increase awareness or change social values

and that’s okay. Shipping doesn’t need to do these things because shipping takes place in a microcosm. Fandom is but a tiny, tiny fraction of internet and social activity as a whole. No matter how ‘progressive’ we collectively are, only in the rarest cases will we make a meaningful impact on society as a whole.

Shipping serves a different, but no less important purpose, which I’ll get into below.

That’s the short version. the long version is below.

Shipping is not activism because: 

Shipping is a fandom-specific activity and fandom doesn’t make much of a social impact. We get talked about a lot by the creators because we’re the people most likely to have contact with them and provide feedback on their content; we have an impact on creators in that sense.  But apart from coming to cons and talking on social media, when we get mainstream attention it’s almost always to talk about how weird we are. Also, we don’t cause social change. We can fan over something that already exists, but we can’t cause a show with better representation to be created.

Because of this: 

Meaningful, mainstream representation of LGBT/queer relationships come from mainstream media, and fandom is not the main force acting on mainstream media productions.  Remember when korrasami became canon in the last few minutes of the last episode of Korra because the creators knew about the shippers? Congratulations: you’re looking at an outlier that took a lot of very specific circumstances and luck to have happen. And most importantly: it wasn’t done to please the shippers.  Shippers may have given them the idea, but it was done because canon korrasami would create visible bisexual/LGBT representation. It was possible because the show was only airing online, to a smaller audience, and because of the herculean efforts of LGBT/queer activists over the last century to get our collective visibility and acceptability as high as it is (and yes, we have a long way to go, but we’re miles past where we were even 10 years ago.)

Current fandom seems to carry the belief that if we just ship hard enough and loud enough, the creators of an ongoing mainstream media will reward us by making our favorite ship canon.** The reality is we rarely, if ever, make a meaningful impact on the direction that canon takes. We’re a small, small part of the consumer base - a loud one, but small!  We’re often not the aimed-at demographic, either, so pleasing us is the last thing the execs trying to make a buck are thinking about. The material we’re fanning over is already old news to producers; short canons are usually already finished by the time we receive it, and longer ones are at least a season ahead in production time. (If we do make an impact, we won’t see it for at least a year or more.)  Shows must meet decency standards, and LGBT/queer relationships are still seen as higher-rated than their cishet counterparts.  Executives care about what will sell ad space or toys more than what fandom wants.

The fact of the matter is we have the cause and effect backwards.

Ships being ‘good representation’ is a function of increased mainstream media representation of marginalized identities, not the other way around.  When media was entirely full of characters who were white cis men, we shipped white cis men. And as media slowly stops having nothing but white cis men, we’re … still shipping white cis men a lot, because there’s still a lot of them and there’s still a societal bias that tells us that white cis men are the most important/interesting people (and simultaneously, because they are unmarked, we can’t accidentally fall into stereotype pits while fanning them), but we’re shipping more and more non-white, non-cis, non-male characters too. 

Real social activism leads to increased media representation - like the reclaiming of the word ‘queer’ in the late 80′s/early 90′s leading to a TV show called ‘Queer as Folk’ and featuring gay characters. And increased media representation leads to more marginalized characters for fandom to ship.

While transformative fandom does, to an extent, change things from canon to represent ourselves more - or just to suit our fancy! - canon always reigns supreme and is the most widespread version of the characters.  Canon becoming more diverse will always have more of an effect on fandom than fandom being diverse/having diverse content will ever have on canon.

Besides:

The desire to see ships become canon is not primarily motivated by generating healthy representation of marginalized identities.  Fans have been wanting their favorite ships to become canon since the Stone Ages.  The Harry Potter fandom wars were all about what was most canon: Harry/Hermione, Hermione/Ron, or Harry/Ginny.  Notably: Draco/Harry is not one of the pairings I list, because nobody thought there was the remotest chance that Draco/Harry would ever become canon.  It’s only recently that LGBT/queer rep in particular has been making a meaningful appearance in mainstream media, and suddenly slash ships have entered the ‘will it be canon!?’ fray. And some mlm fans feel they have more ‘right’ to canon because mlm ships are LGBT/queer rep.

Here’s the thing: if this was really about representation, then we’d all be celebrating if any mlm pairing became canon. No matter which pairing is ‘more progressive’, any LGBT/queer canon representation is better than none. But (surprise!) it��s not; the ‘queer rep!’ battle cry is just an additional cannonball in the arsenal of ongoing ship wars.*** And I venture to say that most mlm shippers engaged in a ship war would rather see an unrelated het pairing become canon than their rival mlm ship.

And this is because: 

Shipping is not, and never has been, primarily about creating healthy marginalized representation.  

Don’t get me wrong: transformative fandom is heavily LGBT/queer/mentally ill/disabled/otherwise underrepresented, and we often create transformative fanworks that bring our identities into the story. That’s awesome self-fulfillment, and it can really bless and excite fellow fans who see fandom content that makes them feel more welcomed and recognized.  However.

Generating marginalized representation isn’t the primary motive for shipping. We ship out of love. We see the dynamics between two characters and think ‘oh, that’s hot’ or ‘I’d like to see more of that’. We ship for fun. We ship because we think two characters would look good together. We ship because we imagine ourselves as one character and have a crush on the other. We ship things for many, many reasons, many I haven’t mentioned here, maybe as many reasons as there are people in fandom doing shippy things.  And to that end, I’m sure that some people do decide what to ship purely because they believe it represents minority groups that need representation - but it would be too much to say that’s the main reason people ship things.

Shipping doesn’t need to be about creating healthy marginalized representation because:

Fiction is not reality; a person can ship the ‘right’ ships and still be a bigot IRL. and visa versa. Because we interact with fiction and reality in different ways, there are people who really love mlm ships but still think gay marriage is icky. On the other hand, a person can be the loudest activist for LGBT/queer causes in real life and only ship het ships in fandom, just because the dynamics of het ships pings their fancy more.

Shipping as activism preaches to the choir. Shipping being a fandom-specific activity, and many of us being oppressed ourselves, shipping the ‘right’ ship to increase awareness in the microcosm of fandom isn’t really accomplishing anything. Most of us are ourselves LGBT/queer, or friends with people who are LGBT/queer. Most of us are aware of how much pain the lack of representation in mainstream media brings on.  And most of us are sensitive to the fact that we’re not the only oppressed person in fandom space and are willing to learn more about how we can help other oppressed people.

If I could sum up the problems of current fandom, it’s that we assume that nobody else is #woke (even though most of us are sufferers). 

In that sense, shipping the ‘right’ ship doesn’t bring more awareness; it acts as a signal to others that you have awareness, and hopefully protects you from being erased or harassed as an ignorant asshole (’cishet’).

Most importantly:

Shipping isn’t activism, but it does something else great: it lets marginalized fans express and indulge themselves in any way that pleases them.  

- fandom is hugely made of underrepresented minorities, so shipping is a way that we express ourselves and relate to one another - whether those ships are ‘progressive’ or not. So, so many of us deal with social stigma or harassment or hate in our real lives; we consume media to get away from that, and we indulge in fandom to get away from that.  

Most of us are, just by existing and demanding space in the world, activists for the rights of the marginalized and oppressed. 

I’ve had some people disagree with me on this, but I stand by it. many people in fandom have orientations/identities/nd/etc that politicize our existence. When we are ‘out’ - when we are visible - and vocally demanding recognition for our lives by being visible and refusing to compromise, we are activists by existence. And many of us are allies, taking political action on behalf of others. and many of us are both - marginalized this way, allies to people marginalized that way. 

the actions we take as activists in the real world are the ones that matter - not fandom.

Fandom is a space for us to play with each other and connect over something fun and pleasant, and those fun and pleasant things don’t have to be activist things. We’re allowed to take a break.

The importance of activism and representation is to benefit the marginalized and oppressed, letting us be recognized and less stigmatized, and deconstructing the social and political structures that work against us leading fulfilling lives.  When we use shipping the ‘right’ ship as a bludgeon to attack one another, we are literally defeating the purpose of our own causes. We’re stigmatizing each other for our fandom interests. And we’re certainly not deconstructing any social structures that harm us!

In conclusion: The way we can be most activist in transformative fandom is, no joke, to care more about the fact that almost everyone else here is marginalized too than that one another’s ships aren’t marginalized enough.

fandom is different from the way it used to be: it’s more visible, more mixed with non-fandom, and easier to access. certainly, it’s important to make clear where we’re addressing relationship stuff for fandom versus relationship stuff for real life. there’s value in taking steps to counteract the harm done by lack of education about sex, consent, and healthy relationships, particularly as LGBT+/queer people, or people who need access to & information about reproductive health care taking care of one another in a world that doesn’t care enough about us. 

but educating each other doesn’t happen through a ship: it happens through open, friendly communication. shipping can open the door to communication, but it can’t substitute for straightforward honesty. 

Let’s foster healthy interaction and honest communication wherever we can: by celebrating each other and our creative endeavors - instead of creatively locking us down with terror of getting erased or driven out of fandom by demanding everything be treated as a teaching opportunity.

be kind to one another. 

(the rest of the world is not going to do it for us.)

–

*In talking about ships as representation we generally start with ‘this ship is queer/LGBT’ and then use all other axes of oppression to prove which ship is ‘more progressive’, i.e. - F1nnPoe and Ky1ux are both mlm, but F1nnPoe is more pure because it’s a black man and a Latino man as opposed to two white men. (Occasionally race will also be talked of as the primary point of value, depending on the fandom.)

**On a side note, this whole paragraph is also why it’s unlikely that fandom being ugly will ever cause a show to be cancelled or a pairing will get changed in canon because some fans were nastier than others. We’re like bugs with stingers: scary and painful but ultimately not that impactful (unless you’re allergic, I guess, but forget that part of the metaphor). 

***This is part of where the ‘I have to prove my ship is wholesome/their ship is evil’ stuff comes from: ‘proving’ to creators that your ship is the ‘better’ queer representation because it either covers more marginalized bases or is ‘more pure’, making it less objectionable for mainstream representation. (the joke is that bigots don’t care how pure an LGBT/queer ship is: they’re gonna still think it’s awful because it’s LGBT/queer.)

PS - I don’t think this answer really addresses why arguing about purity of ships is a bad plan, but this is already so long that I’ll address that somewhere else I think.

[onlongsleeveweddingdresses]

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[shhhselah]

What A Wonderful Life...

​Friday, May 17, 2019

2:35pm

​​"What an interesting life you've caught me in the middle of...."

I caught myself saying this out loud a few weeks ago. That date overhead to be exact.

Life is such a journey. Such a process.

Constantly, we're growing, changing, evolving- never really staying in one spot or settling into one modus operandi. Have you ever heard the phrase, "A master piece and work in progress?" That's truly a concept I feel slips the mind of so many. Even ourselves. We know that we're changing and adjusting, but, honestly, we don't always agree with, like or desire the change we find ourselves going through. Sometimes that change alters us physically, and it may not always be flattering or pleasing.

And other times, we witness emotional, mental and spiritual transformations that either excite us, or frighten us. I've experienced this. We all have. (And actually, correction- I ​​am experiencing this. A season that rattles me because I don't recognize my spiritual surroundings.)

We all have those moments where you take stock of who you are versus who you used to be and find yourself to be a current stranger to the you once known. A stranger in your own body, a foreigner in your own thoughts.

​​When did I get so defensive? When did I become so broken? Why did I stop trusting, smiling, opening up? When did I stop talking, believing, hoping? How did I stop loving? When did I stop truly ​​living? What happened.... to "me?"

And you know what can be so damaging and yet helpful all at once? ​​M e m o r i e s.

See, while it's good to recall memories, it's so harmful to ​​harp on them. We were made to live in the present, it's why our breath comes and goes so steadily instead of staying behind in one spot that we have to consistently travel backwards to in order to reach. We were designed to live in the moment.

Those memories are a blessing. They're an opportunity to view and learn from every present you've ever found yourself in, every gift you've gotten to live in- so that you can walk a little straighter, wiser and freer in the next....but the moment you start harping on those past presents, you neglect all the undivided attention this current one requires. And you live in a duality that brings both anxiousness and confusion.

You bring a nasty case of comparison into the mix. We tend to split our time between nostalgia, trauma, reality and delusions of grandeur. Past. Present. Future.

The both good and bad times of the past, the ever steady action of the present and the unknown possibilities of the future. We live in them all and somehow expect our present selves to maintain order and a standard of satisfactory being that appeases each viewpoint.

Let me set you free here and now-

You will ​​never be completely like your old self- you've gone through too much. So much more than that self of even ​​days ago has experienced. I'm starting to learn and accept that, but it's hard for me on some days when I liked the old version better. What gives me hope, is knowing that God has a greater design for me that He didn't leave in the past, but lays peacefully in every step forward I take. If the past were better, I'd be there. But it's not. There was something there that was still obsolete, untapped and lacking.

What's more, you will ​​never be like your future self- they've witnessed more than the present can presently tell you. Secrets that God has purposed only time to hold.

And understand, your present self is constantly being prepared for the future and shaped by the past. They're under a lot of work. But that work is null in void if you don't allow them to soak up every moment they're in so they can pull something from it and be molded by it.

​​What an interesting life you've caught me in....

Who we're used to being and used to being known as, isn't going to always be the truth of who we are and will be. So set yourself free to forever be a work in progress and masterpiece all at once.

Set yourself free to live life and experience life as it comes. If the day is unpredictable, why can't your growth process be? Don't set restrictions on yourself. Live. What's meant will come and happen, because you have a sovereign God who always starts what He finishes (​​Isaiah 46:9-11). And He calls you His workmanship, His clay, His skillfully and wonderfully made creation in whom He delights.

Trust me, He has an attention to detail and His attention is all yours. You're worth it, and truly, He loves it. So be free, and live in the beautiful, yet startling vulnerability of being creation, where you don't have to constantly create yourself- forever loved and governed by Almighty above.

"12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything (in any point) you think otherwise (differently), God will reveal that (make it clear) also to you. 16 Only let us hold true (live up to) to what we have (already) attained."

Philippians 3:12-16

Don't ever feel like you have something to prove. What God has put in you is intrinsic. The areas you walk into were made to build you, be a catalyst that sparks your nature and be a field in which to practice, hone and shine in who you are. You were created for those places.

Your only job is to BE. God will continue to sculpt exactly what that "being" looks like at any given moment, whether seemingly good, bad, ugly or pleasing. That's a part of Surrender- ​​ceasing resistance, submitting to an authority greater than your own, to give up possession of, to deliver up."

Give up your ideas of what you should do, who you should be, and where you should be. It's an act harder done than said, but it's a journey that is best walked with the Creator- who has all the finer details etched out and all the possibilities accounted for- purposing each one for good. (​​Psalm 37:23, Proverbs 16:9, Romans 8:28)

Do you know the difference between Evidence and Proof?

Proof is a biased concept. It seeks to discount one thing and support another.

Evidence is objective. It has no agenda. It is simply there, and its presence tells a story.

The story of God's existence is in the evidence of creation- our world. He tells us this in ​​Romans 1:19-20.

Trees, animals, the ocean, the wind, birds, bees, flowers, and even our complex DNA, they have never moved to prove anything. They simply exist and operate in their nature, and have been a consistent testimony to something greater.

We have sought for years to understand their origin and complexity, ​​our origin and complexity. They derive from the same Caretaker who clothes the fields of grass and feeds the birds of the sky.

​​"25 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"

​​Matthew 6:25-34

You will always feel behind and be behind when you have something to prove.

God is always with us. In every moment. Living in the past or future holds no meaning, it's a trick of the enemy that keeps us between condemnation and striving desperately and futilely beyond grace.

​​"8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

​​Ephesians 2:8-10

I've had a habit of pointing to the past to remind God of where I can't go again or where I was better off. I also have a habit (which was the entirety of my 2018), where I take the snippets of what God has shown me He has for me, and I drag Him around and try to drill Him like a sergeant to get me there. The year was saturated with impatience, exhaustion, resentment, bitterness, envy, confusion and hurt.

This life is not yours when you're in Christ. It's His. ​​​​Galatians 2:20 ​​tells us that,

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

And in being His, there are plans, achievements, dreams, timings, and revelations that He's taken on the responsibility to deliver and create. This is not yours to carry.

Why carry something on your own that God told you He'd do Himself? If He put it on your heart, it's for Him to do, not you. Why try to do God's job and be Him? How futile. We fail and stall out when we attempt to take His plans, make them our own and go running off with them.

There is a partnership called Faith. That leads us to Obedience. But we can't obey who we do not serve or even acknowledge. When striving in our own efforts, understandings, assumptions and desires, when do we have time and room to consult the One who prepared our good works ahead of time?

Stay steady with Him in the now. His grace has covered your entire timeline, but reap the benefits of the fresh mercies He purposed for this moment.

​​"22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

   his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness."

​​Lamentations 3:22-23

Don't try to run ahead. Take it from me, it leaves you bitter and worn.

Be spoiled by the God who has already completed the works.

​​"9 Remember the former things of old,

For I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like Me,

10 Declaring the end from the beginning,

And from ancient times things that are not yet done,

Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

And I will do all My pleasure,’

11 Calling a bird of prey from the east,

The man who executes My counsel, from a far country.

Indeed I have spoken it;

I will also bring it to pass.

I have purposed it;

I will also do it."

​​Isaiah 46:9-11

Prove nothing and never strive . Like evidence, just be, and watch yourself ever unfold on this journey of life as God unravels all the beautiful secrets He's placed down on the inside of you, tucked neatly away in the timeline of your path.

Time to be set free, darlings.

Live. Presently.

[inkintheinternet]

Immortality versus Reality

By Arjuwan Lakkdawala

Ink in the Internet

There is no such thing as immortality in the life of the world. But still there have been numerous attempts at achieving immortality by misguided humans throughout the ages.

From the so called 'elixir of life' to horrifying things such as immature versions of Frankenstein, which I believe might have taken place in secret laboratories. Or maybe not.

But let's just put it in the argument hypothetically. It gives a clearer picture at these failed and some downright scary and inhumane attempts.

Let us examine the most modern and known scientific attempts: Cloning, mind transplant into computer database, becoming cyborgs, telomere DNA engineering. (Scientists are trying to change DNA to stop telomeres which are at the end of the chromosomes in our body from shortening, which is what makes the chromosomes age and eventually die when they can’t replicate.)

To say it simply, how many people on earth really die of old age anyway. Unborn children are dying, our whole planet will cease to exist when the sun burns out, or we might get hit with a catastrophic asteroid or comet, so many things could bring the end of the world even before the sun dies.

If we calculate the amount of time it takes science to make significant leaps, and the pace at which our resources are finishing. I don't think immortality would be the least of our worries, future generations would just be so lucky to have a regular life span.

But there is a much bigger matter behind these and other scientific advancements.

But before I get to that here's a brief list of my thoughts on the subjects mentioned above.

Genetic engineering of telomeres who knows could happen, but it still hasn't been achieved, and how well have scientists really been at duplicating natural creations? We know the answer - not very good and there have been horrible mutations and deadly or torturous side effects.

Becoming a cyborg - now that's not even truly human. I speak of this in more detail in this post. http://inkintheinternet.tumblr.com/post/155228496134/robots-cyborgs-clash-of-a-dying-humanity-and

Mind transplant into a computer database - no body, no soul, no humanity, this is considered living?

Cloning - Dolly the sheep was supposedly a successful clone, after many unsuccessful attempts, but as it went down in history, Dolly was euthanized  according to scientists because she had a “progressive lung disease and severe arthritis” and not because of advanced aging, though the life span of sheep is 11-12 years and Dolly lived for 6.5. And her telomeres were short, which happens due to aging. Scientists say her untimely death was not because she was cloned. Really?

According to the Wikipedia page there was speculation that Dolly was born with the genetic age of six years, which was the age of the sheep she was cloned from.

Here is a link to the Wikipedia page about Dolly. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep)

One might say why not clone intelligent people, so we can have better working brains or the best specimens can go on living and increasing.

Well how can we decide that this specimen that we want to clone, male or female is the best that will ever come.

If we will have identically thinking people walking the planet then we will have no progress, because no one mind has been able to bring us scientifically to the point we are at. It has been a combination of different thinkers which is the opposite of cloning.

Other than that intelligent minds might have led lives that had experiences that influenced their thought process and taught them things, which again can't be replicated in cloning.

Or if you want the clones to be laboratory rats, which I think is cruel to rats, and would be even crueler to do to humans. They might rebel one day and kill the scientists holding them captive, and they would still not develop like normal human beings with a healthy mentality.

I'm not a science or technology hater to be clear. We owe a lot of comforts and good things to science and technology.

What I'm against is over doing it and spoiling the balance, or trying to create living things, which we can never do, because we can't create a soul. What scientists trying to play god will get is deformed creations, mentally and physically, induced mutations, and other unthinkable hideous things.

And these things as well can't be achieved except by inhumanly tampering with life that was already created by God.

There is a huge difference between scientific advancement for saving life and making life better, and destroying life in vain attempts at trying to become a creator of life, or thinking living for thousands of years until the earth itself is annihilated, and then you still die, will give you joy or make you invincible.

Sometimes, life might become so miserable, so horrible, that we might end up wishing we were dead.

People should not be arrogant. I can't help but point out the irony of what a crewman of the Titanic said to a boarding passenger, when asked if the ship was really unsinkable. He said:

"God Himself can't sink the Titanic." Not only did it sink, but it snapped in two and then sunk.

Research on this subject shows claiming that even God couldn't sink the Titanic was commonly said by people associated with the White Star Line company that made the Titanic. (You can Google for research results.)

Copyright ©Arjuwan Lakkdawala 2017