#and plus I just like the taste of them
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Mate, take it from one allergy bitch to another make your peace with not being able to eat tomatoes. It'll only get worse.
(serious in tags)
#op#for real though I completely get your warning here. trust me when I say I'm not just going about this without caution.#I've made peace with the fact I'm probably not getting to eat tomatoes a very very long time ago and though it hurt I accepted it#luckily I don't have a nightshade allergy I may have a big handful of allergies and sensitivities but I dodged it somehow.#and also this isn't anaphylactic either which I'm also very grateful for as someone who has to deal with that with shellfish.#I've been working with my doc for a while to figure out how to go about the Tomato Problem#my doc and my main reason for the pursuit of tomatoes is mostly medical fascination on both of our parts as people in the field as#we found my main sensitivity is most likely to a protein found in certain mainstream breeds of tomato when it was crossed over with nicotin#because I also have a nicotine sensitivity and they share a similar reaction#and when he got in a sample of tomato with certain similar compounds removed I had no reaction#and I did test negative for a nightshade reaction across the board.#so we've been on the hunt for a tomato breed that existed before that breed was crossed over with nicotine#or a way to process and cook normal tomatoes in a way that breaks down that compound#and plus I just like the taste of them#and think they have a good texture going on too#but from what me and my doc have discovered it's just given me a sense of hope about eating them for the first time in a long while#and I must take a W where I can when it comes to my allergies#thanks for the ask!
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There was something heartbreaking in the way she was gazing at him, as if she might die if he didn’t kiss her. Not from heartbreak, not from embarrassment—it was almost as if she needed him for nourishment, to feed her soul, to fill her heart.
#bridgerton#bridgertonedit#polinedit#tvedit#romancegifs#bridgertonblr#cinematv#polin#periodedit#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#*mine#I COULD EAT THAT GIRL FOR LUNCH YEAH SHE DANCES ON MY TONGUE TASTES LIKE SHE COULD BE THE ONE#anyway i will forever be obsessed with this kiss like. this is the one for the books#it's literally so iconic of them to look for first kiss inspiration in jess/nick cause. they just placed in the top 5 in tv kisses (TO ME)#i couldve giffed so many more moments like. the giffer's eye is twitching rn#but there are huge so i stuck to these 4#i mean the first one?? the way she flinches as if he burned her as if she felt an electric current a spark at the touch#his fingertips just oh so gently tracing her jaw pulling her in#the uh oh moment in the second gif. the realisation that they cant just stop there#colin's brows furrowing in the third. and then relaxing. guy's going through it right there#(plus the thumb yeah)#and then the last one? hoo boy the savoring THE SAVORING
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parker being the one to voice concerns that nate is getting more sadistic is so funny to me. twenty minutes ago you poisoned someone & started giggling and kicking your feet when they passed out
#the order 23 job#parker leverage#parker#leverage#nathan ford#leverageposting#wren speaks#to be fair i think it’s like. parker doesn’t mind hurting people & she doesn’t feel bad abt it or whatever. but that’s apathy not sadism.#she likes tasing people bc it shuts them up. she laughs about stabbing & drugging bc it’s just a natural thing that’s gonna happen in her#line of work so logically she isn’t gonna feel ashamed or guilty. but she also doesn’t necessarily get any enjoyment out of it. so nate#appearing to enjoy tormenting & hurting someone is a little concerning to parker. it’s apathy vs sadism.#(and she does start thinking more morally abt not hurting ppl but this is early season 2 & she doesn’t mind much yet)#it’s just funny that she’s like telling on him to sophie. as if she didn’t drug someone. plus sophie is like ‘ik its kinda hot right?’.#they’ve made him a thief & now they’re letting him get a taste for blood. fun family dynamics :-)#enabling is their love language
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the only reason why i'm so bad at making my ocs have realistic personalities and backstories is cuz i have no friends
#ocs#LMAO but yeah...#I may seem so COOL and POPULAR and AWESOME#but irl like I have 3.#its not like i'm disliked#but I just KNOW people#not really friends ig#plus everyone I know is either like a HEAVY stereotype irl#or I don't know anything about them#cant base an oc off of em yknow#and I'm kinda bad at making ocs that ARENT like scout tf2 or adam stanheight#like ugh... fuck I made another annoying bisexual twink with a whiny voice and awesome music taste#aka me what who said that
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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.
its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.
have passion in spite of those who hate.
#its absolutely mind boggling to me#and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset#i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b#its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without#hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats#something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like#‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent#opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like#this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i#was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without#prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u#happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk#ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole#:)))) im not crying bye#ashley rambles#to delete later#my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids#have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them#idk man
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ive been trying to learn more about sewing dolls and plush toys because i want to step up my game from my current cut-out-2-identical-shapes-and-sew-them-together plush expertise but its kind of tricky looking into patterns online to try out when ur not into the 2015 north american kawaii perfectly symmetrical firmly stuffed big head pastel •ᴗ• this face on everything plush aesthetic.
#i dont dislike kawaii plush aesthetics entirely like i love a weird like just two big dot eyes no mouth look#thats really funny and i like a good :3 face. especially if its a >:3#but i am nawwwt into the like two perfect black circle eyes far apart with a tiny half circle line in between them#i dont care for the placid smile. i like either really exagerrated expressions or no expression at all LOL#i do enjoy a lot of vintage plush patterns tho. they work well with my taste for floppy understuffed plush with weird kitschy goofiness#particularly 50s to 70s - 50s for more bizarre construction and 70s for better constructed plush that are just kinda goofy#80s plush patterns also make me laugh because of all the licensed patterns. i saw a plush pattern for nerds? like the candy?#plus all those homemade carebears.... so cute. they should come out with licensed customizable plush patterns again#i think i might have to. hashtag go to my libraries. and look at any slightly older toy sewing books they have <3#time to..... hashtag learn
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Today I was watching Toddler Ro run around the colony doing his thing (mostly bugwatching) when he started to get tired. He's perfectly capable of going to bed by himself, but Henry came over to carry him to his crib anyway. I bet Ro thinks Henry is the coolest big brother ever. <3
Andy drew a very helpful label/sign on the ship landing platform in case the landing beacons weren't enough to let passing shuttles know where they were supposed to touch down.
We had guests from the Hare Clan, and one of them was our ex-colonist Boomer, who we let go in a Diplomatic Marriage event.
He is not married to Eggardus yet, but the Vikings of the Hare Clan did entomb him in a warcasket. Poor boy. I might not have liked him very much, but I think he deserved better than to be reduced to little more than a machine of war.
Then when the guests from the Hare Clan were departing, they left me this very thoughtful gift. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep it or not. Part of me thinks it would be a very weird thing to use, but another part of me thinks it would be really, really funny.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Animist Alliance#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#Henry is engineered as a soldier#I think he is fiercely loyal to everyone at Eureka#And if they won't let him fight to protect them then the least he can do is carry them to bed when their legs are tired#He's definitely strong enough#Plus I thought it'd be cute to draw#Just like Andy's adorable rocketship drawing#“Spaceships go here” he says as he scribbles with chalk on the landing platform#I wondered if we'd ever see Boomer again#I'm glad he came to visit but it makes me a bit sad at the same time#I liked his whacky old-timey sleazy salesman vibe#Big robots and battlesuits aren't really to my taste#which is an odd thing for a T'au player to say now that I think about it#Oh well I don't like the T'au for their battlesuits anyhow#Any ideas for what to do with the thoughtful gift of muffalo mammaries are welcome#Have a fabulous day everyone!! xoxo
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I wish some people never had access to internet at all...
TW assault, TW r*pe
#this is one of the main reasons why I don't get into the fandom that much and just stay in my own personal bubble#I already have a bad relationship with gilturia and I just can't see those two together without having a bad taste in my mouth#despite the fact there's a lot good art with those two#and I know that not all gilturia shippers are like that#and I understand that most of them ship those two because they just look aesthetically pleasing and look good together but still...#I can't just look calmly at those two especially knowing their background and how Gilgamesh actually treats her#and honestly because of such moments sometimes I feel disgust towards Gil (obviously) but I also feel disgust towards myself#for liking such terrible character#and honestly I fear that someday because of such moments I would stop liking him or even start to hate him#but I don't want that because despite his negative traits he still is well written and very deep character that has a lot of layers to him#plus he helped me to get thought a lot of hardships especially after these past two years throughout which I got attached to him even more#and his quote that he said to Hakuno ''No matter what adversity you face there's no other way for you but forward''#cheered me up a lot of times#sorry for the rant#I just had this things building up in my chest and these tweets just made me kinda snap#my ramblings#personal
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see the thing that makes stories interesting is conflict. Which is why audiences don’t tend to enjoy it when a story goes “plot twist! there was never any conflict to begin with!”
#This is about Chuuya not being a vampire in the first place#And Dazai pulling the “I knew everything all along and it was all according to plan”#plus any emotional or psychological conflict both of them would have had over the entire situation#it’s just. Eurghhhhhh#bad.#it’s. not enjoyable to most audiences unless you like it for reasons of personal taste#Because “there was never any conflict to begin with” carries just about the same weight as “it was all a dream”#Oh that thing that I thought happened? The thing that made the story interesting? Yeah it never happened.#my GUY. why tell a story if not to tell it sincerely.#like I said before this is the same as marvel movies killing their sincere moments with quips and one-liners
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10. tell me about an insecurity you overcame.
It's been a while since I started freelancing for fun and profit, but the beginning of that journey is still a pretty big deal to me.
I'd previously worked at an agency for nearly three years, so I knew how to do client-based work, but I knew nothing about business development (or billing, or taxes, or client management, or admin).
And, for those I didn't know back in 2017, I started down that whole road in the first place after getting very unexpectedly and unceremoniously fired after like four months on the job. It was never clear exactly why, but I'd thought things had been going well, and that was a pretty gutting Thursday afternoon.
I'd also just gone through a job search, so I knew there weren't many positions available in the region that would be a fit—and that the most recent thing that had seemed to be a great fit had, uh, not been. (This was before remote/hybrid work was a real norm, even though my agency job had functionally been hybrid and taught me to work effectively as such.)
But when I'd gone through that previous job search, a couple of people I spoke with had mentioned maybe needing some freelance capacity down the road, and perhaps I should get in touch once I got settled in the job if I was interested. So I reached out to them, without mentioning the rest, thinking I could at least bridge the gap while I figured out what the fuck to do. Both had solid projects for me where I learned a bunch quickly, made some money, and was excited for more.
And then it just kind of made sense to keep seeing about those kinds of opportunities—both because I liked the client-based work and flexibility, but also because it quickly became apparent that it'd be harder for any one person or institution to fuck me over in the same way.
Plus, one of the people who needed a subcontractor turned out to be a great mentor and reference; I don't think I ever told him quite why I'd decided to go all-in on freelancing full-time, but I have thanked him repeatedly for some truly foundational early guidance as well as a couple of projects he helped set me up with. He's semi-retired now but I'm still using some of those templates!
Anyway, I networked my way into a couple of additional early projects and finished 2017 with about the same overall income for the year that I had had in my agency job for 2016. (Not the fuck-them one, the one I got laid off from because, well, that was a bad end-of-year for anyone working in Democratic politics, much like this one.)
And the rest is history: I've been self-employed for about 7.5 years now and, while the constant hustle and inconstant income/workload have their own challenges, I think I've landed in a pretty secure (emotionally/professionally) place about the whole enterprise.
#ask me ask me ask me#stpauligirl#about me meme#freelancing for fun and profit#having been let go from full-time work twice in six months i can say that the agency people were INFINITELY kinder#i wasn't the only one in that situation and they gave us nearly a month heads-up plus an extra month of health insurance#it turned out our boss had forgone his own income for a few months to pay the rest of us that year#and like they just ran out of money and work to do. it wasn't shocking tbh.#and it had already been apparent that what work there was wasn't using any of the skills for which i'd been hired#and i *did* get to keep my electronics. that 2014 laptop lasted me until early 2023!#so anyway if you have to nix someone's job that's the way to do it#i've mostly lost touch with those folks but i don't have a bad word to say about them#whereas the fuck-them situation had me with a sour taste in my mouth around an entire state for like a year#incidentally not that long ago someone i'd worked closely with for YEARS at my anchor client was networking#and mentioned being put in touch with [x] who apparently had been working at the fuck-them place at the same time as me#should he let [x] know we'd been working together? did i want to pass along a hello or anything?#i very quietly said 'please don't.' and after a pause and because i liked and trusted THIS guy added#'he fired me out of nowhere for unclear reasons so i'd really rather not be involved further.'#i mention this because the guy at the anchor client had no idea. by my design.#but also because i've worked really hard to be confident and good at what i actually do and how i do it.#anyway fuck them
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i am not immune to marketing gimmicks (<- just bought limited edition cocoa flavor online)
#sasha speaks#they're having a big sale rn to clear out their overstock and leftover limited edition flavors from the past year#nearly everything is sold out already especially most of their flavored blends#but they had a medium roast from an origin i haven't tried before#and the unflavored single origin medium roasts are my favorite! so i ordered a bag for 35% off#plus a bag of my usual favorite...in fairness i also meant to bring some back home with me from my apartment and forgot completely#the other day when i was packing#so having a couple bags of cocoa arriving at home for me in a few days will be a nice treat#it's just roasted and ground cacao beans but you brew it just like coffee#the end product really is a lot like black coffee (bitter and strong lol) but it's quite lovely with a bit of sweetener#i used to take it with some cream but actually now my favorite preparation#is cocoa grounds + big pinch of salt + a few green cardamom pods + just enough maple syrup to make it *barely* sweet#makes a wonderful hot beverage. it's so cozy...#anyway looking forward to that. i hope the new flavor is good. the last limited edition medium roast i tried was fine#but i didn't like it more than their regular ones#unfortunately most of their varieties these days are either dark/french/ultradark (spanish) roasts or they're flavored light roasts#and i don't much go for those. i mean occasionally a flavored light roast#but i find them disappointing more often than not. light roast isn't chocolatey enough for me and the flavors are usually weak or stale#(the strawberry one is good but it's a summer limited ed and it was out of stock already by the time i saw the overstock sale)#and the dark roasts are just too dark for me. i want to taste the cacao bean and origin not just the roast#so the medium roasts are the sweet spot for me. roasted enough to taste really chocolatey and strong#but not so much that they're overwhelming and lose their character#actually weirdly i've noticed recently that on some of their limited ed and flavored blends they aren't listing the roast level.#it's very strange#for the flavoreds i just assume light roast but it's weird when they don't tell you on the package or the online shop page
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i am hoping to never have to get another colonoscopy again (until i’m old enough to need to get them etc etc) but tbh i would very much like to experience the relief and comfort i felt when i woke up, was able to eat a warm meal (meatloaf + mashed potatoes, perfect comfort food (and it being soft was great bc i had had a endoscopy and broncoscopy done too so my throat was SORE)) for the first time in over 24 hours, got to wear super comfy anti-blood-clot compression boots, was on regular doses of IV tylenol and therefore the most pain free i had been in ages, and then got to sleep for the rest of the day. AND there was the joy of being told i didn’t have crohn’s. it was solid
#marzi speaks#the colonoscopy prep SUCKED and i never wanna do that shit again#4 liters of shit yourself juice that tastes like saltwater#(plus a couple extra cups of miralax bc i had been on a muscle relaxer specifically meant to get my intestines to move slower)#plus all the walking back and forth to the bathroom ended up causing so much blood to leak into the soles of my feet#that not only was i basically walking on bruises that were only getting worse#but my swollen blood vessels had started to pinch my nerves which put me in the worst pain i have ever been in in my LIFE#genuinely i was getting delirious from the amount of pain i was in. brain entered full panic mode it hurt so fucking bad#thankfully my dad was there and got them to get me a dose of morphine. which was VERY pleasant#and made me immediately understand the dangers of opiates#bc i had one dose months ago and if i was offered another. i wouldn’t take it but i would lowkey want to#morphine felt Great . killed the nerve pain and while my feet were still sore i no longer cared. it was beautiful#ANYWAYS i don’t miss being hospitalized and scared but i do miss the sheer level of comfort i felt right after that operation#i was so tired and i knew the worst of it was over now so it was just. pure relief. i melted. fell asleep and stayed asleep mostly
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Ok but the thing about Caroline and Klaus is that she makes him want to be good. To be worthy.
She brings his humanity out, and that is good for him.
#vampire diaries#caroline forbes#klaus mikaelson#i really love them#plus he has EXCELLENT taste in dresses#the dress he gives her for prom is just... perfection#like i loved it years ago#and now i'm mildly disappointed that i don't get to see it yet
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I have to take two more lots of penicillin today I'm gonna fucking SCREAM (vent in the tags)
#vent tw#vomit tw#i thought tablets would be better than the liquid i had earlier in the year#bc i had to have these massive capsule antibiotcs recently and i was able to have those easy despite usually being terrible with pills#and my mom had some capsule penicillin recently so i thought id have the same thing#nope!#im having phenoxymethylpenicillin#and its the most disgusting thing in the fucking world!!!!!!#and its so bitter and big it triggers my gag reflex so i have to fight to get these two massive pills down my painful ass throat#had to try and fall asleep earlier after taking them bc they made me feel so much fucking worse#might have to call up the doctors and ask if theres anything else i can have because oh my god i hate this shit#id even have liquid over this because despite the taste lingering at least i havent been throwing it back up#i have like 24 more of these fucking tablets or smth like that#it was meant to be more but i lost two earlier to throwing up for the first time in my life!!!! 💀#if i ever have tonsilittis again istfg its the most miserable experience ever bc its like every illness combined plus disgusting ass tablets#also if ive misepelled anything im so sorry like i said i had to sleep after my last lot so i just woke up#about to take my third technically fourth lot of the day wish me luck :(
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is it gay if i make a playlist for her.
#theo.txt#technically i have a playlist for all of my friends even if some of them are old & i dont erally talk to them anymore#BUT#the point is. is it gay.#cause . he gives me songs all the time also . so id put them in the playlist to keep them ? but also it'd be songs that make me think of th#m. which will defiently have some romantic connotations . there is some gay intent here#ive been thinking about it for days tho.#BUT ALSO>}?? what would i even call it.#cause i dont wanna just . use his name?? cause then anyone who happens to takke a peak on my spotify will not only know her name (internet)#but als theyd get the wrong idea (think were dating) (irl)#but people already think we're dating anyway???#plus our music tastes are not in anyway similar except for like. bare mimimum amount of like. radio head. so .#truly im at a loss here#i think i will eventually cause ive been thinking about making a playlist to keep all the songs she sends me for ages anyeay?#btu idk if thats all itd be yk?#if only we could make a joint playlist i think that'd fix lile. all of my problems. sigh
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Wistfully thinks of Spellwind, I should make a headcanons up to ep 31 list its just my equivalent of like Skyrim or lotr where theres so much going on and so dense but god damn one of my favorite episodes was when two of my favorite characters became trees and the entire experience was like...they were tripping on shrooms but also one with the shrooms? Its like episode 8
and I love the dms orc captain that hates going on land and is there for the in between transportation from sea to sea land to land ferryman (not really I feel like its mostly hard to narrate and have a character at the same time) I just love captain buttocks' (yeah I'm pretty sure thats his name) humor and how him and djett ('jet') were closer in the beginning
I love ty and varsha together but I also ship smith with them as time went on, I can't tell who I want to joke as the third smith and varsha are friends to lovers, ty and varsha are irritated assholes to lovers, smith is just a jaded old fuck that loves his morons (he respects varsha a lot and thinks ty is an entertaining idiot)
Varsha and Djett are siblings they love each other like family and share different spells and potions and knowledge of interest notes
I feel like the only person really thinking too deeply about this tabletop story and wanted to drop a few lines of appreciation, I like listening to it to go to sleep since its so slow paced and gently spoken and the music and sound efx is so sweet
#spellwind#ttrpg#table story#homebrews are my favorite of genre of story telling right now#its what got me into midnight burger#Spotify knew what kinda creative storytelling I liked and said#pbbt here you go guy you need to listen to more audiodramas without the dice in the mix#the way podcasts can tell stories is so cool#dice rolling#describing everything thats going on in a natural dialogue so that it paints a picture for the person listening as if theyre part of it#like youre in the environment with them it was a really smart way to carve a story and narrative#wolf 359#wolf 395#idk off the top of my head I'm trying out a few episodes but I like how its a blend of that similar storytelling method but like also??#log entries and some conversation between characters which is mostly how midnight burger does it#aaaa I just love audiodramas#and tabletop actual plays#I want so badly to do ttrpgs but this is my live vicarious through the media I consume era until I can find ppl that wanna let me take try#and be a DM#I could totally make engaging stories like the things I listen to#its like execution of the stories that go on inside my head the tones the themes I wanna touch on the emotions I want to convey#at the same time theres a small part of me thats like mehh but they did it already but I can still share that vibe for people that either#have or haven't chewed up the same things I love over and over and over like a maniac#plus I still have my own take and taste and ideas its just a time and place thing#I have a trillion ideas written out I just have to sort them out and do some stitchwork on the canvas that is the blank page#embroidery on those sweet words and patchwork a story ive been brewing in mind#this is slightly a personal ramble about story making#and also a segway into a sideblog thats not 100% midnight burger#I wonder how this blog will evolve over time
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