#and people look at her and say shes useless and she did nothing for the storyline and shes shallow
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lloydskywalkers · 2 days ago
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drywall
went to go work on raising hell and ended up missing Skylor, so!! I will always have so many emotions about s8/9 and the aftermath of it, here's another gallon of them.
Two months after they’ve taken back the city and the street lights are finally starting to work again, Lloyd shows up at the restaurant an hour past closing time, sporting a spectacularly bruise and enough blood across his gi to make the Ninjago City Blood Drive team’s day. 
“Hi, Sky.” Lloyd waltzes — or attempts to, it’s more of a stumbling collapse — right in as if nothing’s amiss in the slightest. “Sorry, I’m, uh. Was in the neighborhood and I wasn’ sure…where else t’ go.”
Skylor, still frozen over a stained tabletop with her dishtowel in hand, stares at him. 
All things considered, she should be fully prepared for something like this. It should practically be in her restaurant’s training manual, that at some point you’ll end up confronted with a bloody, half-dead ninja in your door. But given how slow the past few weeks have been, coupled with the sheer exhaustion of dealing with the lunch rush and the dinner rush and the late-night somewhat-inebriated people rush, her guard is apparently down enough to leave her reacting with a simple, useless, “Oh god.”
“Tha’s my grandfather,” Lloyd says. There’s blood at the corner of his mouth — coupled with the bruising, Skylor thinks (hopes) it’s simply from split skin or a bitten cheek, instead of crippling internal bleeding. 
Crippling internal bleeding is enough of a concern to finally spur her into action, dropping her towel and rushing over to help Lloyd finish stumbling through the door. She spares a moment of thanks, that there’s even a door at all — repairs in the city have been slow, since Harumi’s brief reign of terror, and the insurance provider is still holding out on her. 
But the door was a good thing to prioritize, she thinks, bolting it firmly behind them. 
“Sorry, again,” Lloyd murmurs. His jaw is working in the tight way it does when he’s biting back pain, his bottom lip bruised and bleeding. Skylor’s stomach twists. 
You’d think, after all she’s been through, she’d be more accustomed to seeing the people she cares about in pain. That she’d be desensitized enough, to fight back the aching nausea and the gnawing desire to look away. 
Or maybe she’s just a coward. That would track, she thinks. 
“Shush,” she says instead, maneuvering Lloyd further into one of the nicer booths, careful of the blood that’s…everywhere. “What did you do to yourself this time, huh?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Lloyd grumbles, his voice steadier now that he’s sitting down. Unfortunately, he’s only paler under the yellowy restaurant lights, and the blood looks about ten times worse. “I just…slipped. A bit.”
Slipped. Skylor could smack him, if he wasn’t already hurt. 
“Lemme see, then.” She bends down to where she can tug the folds of his gi back, trying to trace the blood to a source. She finally finds it — an ugly wound in his left shoulder, several long gashes across his forearm. A knife, maybe. Possibly a sword, but it looks close-up and quick. It’d need to have been quick, for whoever was wielding it to land this many hits. 
Or Lloyd would have to be sloppy. 
Lloyd gives a stifled, shuddery exhale, a dangerous preamble to tears. Skylor pauses, just for a moment, and deliberates. 
She’s got Nya’s number, carefully keyed into her phone ever since she and Kai started visiting the noodle house. There’s no doubt in her mind that she’d want to know about this — and there’s less doubt that Kai would want to know. if anything, she’s surprised he hasn’t burst through the restaurant doors already, summoned by whatever sixth sense he has that goes off when Lloyd’s in danger. 
But Skylor also knows there’s got to be a reason that Lloyd came here, despite his claims. Just as there’s probably a reason he didn’t call Kai or Nya, or any of the others. 
And perhaps she feels just a little proud, that Lloyd’s chosen her to come to. 
It’s quickly lost in the blood that coats her hands as she begins patching the wound in his shoulder, but the feeling’s there nonetheless. 
It’s a nice feeling, being relied on. Being trusted. 
“Who got you this bad?”
She speaks up mostly to break the quiet. Lloyd isn’t quite like Kai, who likes talking simply to fill a space, but she knows he isn’t fond of silence, either. It’s one of the things they share in common. 
“No one.” Lloyd sucks in a breath as she draws the bandage tight across his shoulder, wrapping it beneath his arm and back over. His eyes close briefly as she ties it off, forehead scrunching up, before he lets out another shuddery exhale. “Some guy, uh — guy on the way home, near the subway. I had answered a call earlier, and I guess — ow, hey—” 
“Sorry,” Skylor winces, as she finishes dumping antiseptic across the slashes on his arm. “It hurts less if you aren’t expecting it.”
“That’s a lie,” Lloyd says, pointedly. 
She shrugs. “So, random subway mugger?”
Lloyd looks away, his cheeks darkening. It’s a relief, to see any color in his face at all. “Sort of.”
He leaves it at that, lapsing back into silence. Skylor looks down, focusing on the butterfly stitches she’s placing across his arm. Were it anyone else, she’d have panicked for actual stitches, but Lloyd heals with an uncanny quickness. She remembers Nya complaining about it, back during the Resistance — how Lloyd threw a fit when his skin healed over the stitches, and they’d had to cut him open all over again. 
She’d probably throw a fit of her own, to be fair. 
“Well, if you see him,” she says, reaching for the roll of bandages. “Point him out. I could use a punching bag.”
Lloyd’s lips quirk, a ghost of a smile. 
“Thank you.”
It’s quiet enough she might’ve missed it, if they were any further apart. Skylor doesn’t miss the meaning, either. She simply shakes her head, wrapping another layer around his arm. 
“I’m just glad you came to someone,” she says. “Instead of half-assing it yourself.”
Lloyd’s fingers twitch. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Uh-huh.”
She can’t pretend she doesn’t understand. Her childhood is filled with fun little memories of patching herself together, hiding wounds from Clouse or her father in an attempt to convince them she was better than she was.
Not that the people Lloyd is hiding from are anything remotely like her father, of course, but there’s an overlap between people you fear and people you love, and trying to convince them you’re stronger than you are. 
“That should do it,” she nods to herself, surveying her work. She feels unusually proud of herself — Skylor’s never really stayed with a team long enough to have many chances to patch people up. It’s rarer that people are so open to her touching them, once they’ve learned what her power is. The ninja are an exceedingly kind exception, but it still makes her feel warm, being given this kind of trust. 
She glances up, eyeing her patient. Lloyd’s still pale, but it’s far better than the ashy color from earlier anymore. “Anywhere else?”
“No.” Lloyd stares at the strip of bandages across his arms, shoulders hunched over on himself.
“I have Nya on speed dial, you know—”
“Its just a few scrapes,” Lloyd rolls his eyes. “It’s nothing.”
Skylor sighs. “Lemme see.”
Lloyd grumbles, but he lets her grab his arm again, wincing as she dabs antiseptic over the smaller cuts. There’s nothing serious — just a few nicks and scratches, the kind you get from eating the ground mid-fight. He’s got one uglier scrape, but it’s about as nasty as a skinned knee, and easily eclipsed by the scar it bleeds through. 
Her fingers falter. She knows this scar — she was there when Kai struggled to patch the wound it once was, back on her father’s island. It’s an ugly, jagged scar, a testament to how Kai’s hands had shook as he’d tried to be gentle. 
In hindsight, it had been a terrible moment. Kai wasn’t sure if Lloyd had picked up the wound from the underground tunnels, Chen’s cultists, or his own brief slip into the madness of the staff. Lloyd wouldn’t say where it was from, even if either of them had been much for talking. And Skylor had been an awkward, purple-scaled fixture next to them, holding the medical kit while the others planned how to kill her father. 
And yet, it was the lightest she’d ever felt. 
Skylor bites her lip. 
She’s never told Lloyd, what exactly he’d meant to her. He likely has no idea, what he’d represented when she’d first met him. 
The son of one of Ninjago’s greatest villains — and people loved him. 
Kai loved him. 
If Lloyd could overcome the hurdle of his parentage and choose to live the way he wanted, if people could look past the dark stain of his legacy and love him anyways, then maybe—
He’d been hope, when she needed it most. And Kai had lived up to that hope, taking Skylor’s half-formed, frail dream and fueling it into a blaze.
Her eyes close, briefly, and she shivers. 
“Are you okay?”
Blinking her eyes back open, she comes face to face with Lloyd’s concerned expression. She shakes her head, looking away. 
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Embarrassment pulls at her. “Just a bit of…aftershocks. You know.”
Lloyd frowns, clearly not knowing. “Aftershocks,” he repeats. “From…”
His eyes go wide, only for his expression to immediately crumple. “Oh.”
Skylor waves her hands. “It’s not bad,” she reassures him. “I can barely feel him — his power — anymore. Just pins and needles in my hands sometimes, that’s all. Totally…totally normal.”
She hopes. Garmadon’s power had burned, in the way bitter cold feels against your skin, so a bit of numbness is pretty decent tradeoff, if she says so herself. 
Lloyd looks down, expression shadowed and hidden. Skylor could curse herself — she knows better, than to bring up—
“Here.” Lloyd’s suddenly holding his hand out, looking at her earnestly. It’s an almost childish expression of sincerity, one that makes him look much younger — a little more like the Lloyd she met on her father’s island, who beamed when his father ruffled his hair. 
Her chest aches fiercely, and Skylor holds out her hand before she can hesitate. Lloyd takes it carefully in his own, and she watches in fascination as the low shimmer of green engulfs her fingers. Lloyd’s power is as gentle as he is — nothing like the ravaging purple storm that was his father’s. 
“Oh,” she says. “That’s nice.”
Lloyd makes a humming noise. “I’ve been practicing. H-his power doesn’t get along with mine, that much. So it kinda…makes room. For whoever’s stronger, at the moment.”
Skylor fights back a shudder. Realistically, she knows she shouldn’t feel ashamed, that Garmadon overpowered her — he’s Garmadon. The reminder of how his power felt still stings, though. 
It’s a reassurance, that Lloyd’s power is stronger now. His element, if you can even call it that, is probably the one she’s the least familiar with — she’s never tried to copy Lloyd’s power. She isn’t entirely sure if she could, or if she should. Dipping into Garmadon’s power was dangerous enough. Skylor isn’t stupid enough to pretend she has the willpower to meddle with the power of the FSM’s family much more than that. 
“It feels like cheating, kinda,” she finally says. “That fighting fuels his power. How are you supposed to fight back?”
Lloyd shrugs, letting her hand go. “You don’t. You get really good at dodging.”
Skylor leans forward, propping her chin up in her palms. “That’s stupid.”
“Well,” Lloyd’s lips twitch, just the slightest bit. “That’s Garmadon, so.”
His expression immediately fractures, and Skylor can spot the battle in his eyes as he tries to grasp for composure. Her teeth worry at her lip.
She should really call Nya, now. Or try to track down Kai’s number. Or anyone else — it’s nearly two hours past closing, the kitchen’s still a mess, and Lloyd’s blood is all over her dishrags. Lloyd himself is hardly in better shape, the ghostly pale of his skin reminding her horribly of when she first saved them from the Sons of Garmadon, and Skylor is—
Not enough. 
She ought to know that, by now.
But the fact still stands, that Lloyd came to her. A part of her clings to that, and another selfish, awful part of her, the part that festered on her father’s island for so many years, the part that still flinches beneath the weight of her last name — well. 
Misery loves company, is probably the best way to put it. 
“I should…I should probably get going,” Lloyd says, uncertainly. He doesn’t make any move to get up, though, still small and weary where he’s hunched up in her booth. 
Skylor stares at him, and thinks of sitting for hours on the edge of her father’s island, staring at the sun on the water until her eyes ached. 
“Hey,” she says, a bit breathless, twisting her fingers together. “Wanna go skip rocks?”
Quite fairly, Lloyd stares at her like she’s lost her mind. 
They end up on the rickety end of one of Ninjago City’s abandoned docks anyways, a mismatched selection of somewhat flat rocks spilling out of a Chen’s to-go bag. Lloyd’s left arm is tied up in a mangled sort of sling they fashioned from Skylor’s old sweatshirt, leaving him to turn a rock over in his right hand awkwardly. 
“So, funny thing,” he says. “I don’t, uh. I’m not very good at this.”
“That’s okay,” Skylor says, sifting through the rocks they’ve gathered. “I’m not, either.”
“Yeah?” Lloyd sounds hopeful. “I mean, you at least know the trick to it, right?”
“I don’t,” she shrugs. “I’ve never…I’ve never skipped rocks before.”
Lloyd stares at her. 
“It’s not that weird,” she huffs, fighting back the urge to hide. “I mean, I never really had the chance, but I aways thought — I grew up near the ocean, and all these lakes, so I always thought it’d be fun to, y’know, skip rocks, since I didn’t really have…anyone else, to…”
The rest of the sentence is about to turn even more humiliating, so it’s a relief when Lloyd interrupts her. 
“I haven’t either.” 
He immediately flushes. “That’s why I’m not good at it.’Cause I’ve never actually skipped rocks.” 
“Oh.” Skylor looks at their bag, then back up at him. “Well, cool. We’ll both suck, then.”
“How hard can it be, anyways?” Lloyd says, sorting through their rocks. “You just find a flat one, right?”
“Yeah,” Skylor says. “Then you sort of just, frisbee it. I think.”
“Hm.”
“You haven’t thrown a frisbee either, have you.”
“Oh, like you have.”
Skylor presses her lips together, snorting. “Was wondering when your snark was gonna show back up.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Do you not remember half the stuff that came out of your mouth, back at the tournament?”
“You would’ve been out of your mind too, if you had to herd the guys around then — also, bold words coming from you, ooh, how dare you call me a traitor, even though it’s totally dead-on—”
“That wasn’t even close to what I said, and also—” Skylor snatches a smooth rock before Lloyd can, hefting it up. “It’s not like I was gonna admit to you all I was a traitor. That defeats the whole purpose of betraying. Lying my way out of a corner was the smart choice.”
“You’d be surprised,” Lloyd mutters, as Skylor flings her rock across the water.
They both watch as it splashes sadly, sinking instantly like, well. A rock. 
“Okay,” Skylor cringes. “That was a warm-up.”
Several warm-ups later, neither of them have made any progress whatsoever, save to torment whatever fish are hanging out on this side of Ninjago City’s harbor with relentless rock barrages. 
“This is ridiculous,” Lloyd huffs, watching as his rock all but torpedoes into the water. “What’s wrong with us, that we can’t get one stupid rock to skip?”
“Maybe it’s in the wrist?” Skylor flexes her hand, angling it one way then another. She winds ups, throws the rock out, and — nope. 
“I think we’re getting worse,” Lloyd remarks as Skylor sputters, wiping the seawater that splashed up from her face. 
She can’t help but agree. They’re down to a few rocks left, and neither of them have made any progress, much less skipped a single rock. At some point, they give up altogether, seeing who can throw their rock out the furthest instead. 
“This one’s going…” Lloyd raises his arm, closing one eye and squinting as he angles higher. He finally pauses with his hand pointing upwards toward Ninjago City. “Right through that weird oval thing on Borg Tower.” 
“Don’t hit it too hard,” Skylor says. “They just got it back up last week.”
“I’m not hitting it, it’s going through it, weren’t you listening?”
“To you? Nah. I’ve heard you suck at public speaking.”
“Wow, after you forced me into the live broadcast and everything—”
As if to emphasize his distress, Lloyd takes a running start, hurling the rock forward. They watch as it arcs across the skyline, before plummeting somewhere in the harbor. 
“So close,” Skylor murmurs. 
Lloyd flops on the ground with a dull thump, legs sprawling in front of him as he leans back on his elbows. Skylor’s makeshift sling isn’t doing much at all anymore, though it looks like he doesn’t need it to.
That, or he’s hiding pain stupidly well. Which wouldn’t be surprising, if disappointing. 
“Defeated,” he mourns. “Overthrown by rocks.”
Skylor dusts gingerly at the ground before sitting next to him. “They sure got the best of us, this time.”
“Maybe it’s a learning curve,” he says. “That or we missed, like, the optimal rock-skipping development time.”
“Mmh. Maybe we need to recruit a teacher who actually had a decent childhood.”
“If you find someone, lemme know.”
They both laugh, breathless and hollow, because they’re not much else they can say, to that. 
Lloyd sits up suddenly, pulling his knees to his chest. His arms wrap tightly around them, eyes glued forward. Instead of asking, Skylor follows his gaze to the skyline of Ninjago City, the darkened scars left behind by Garmadon and Harumi painfully pronounced this late at night. 
It couldn’t have been longer than two weeks, could it? Their rule over the city?
It feels like years.
She can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for the others — can’t imagine what it was like, ending it. 
It pains her, but Skylor doesn’t remember much of Garmadon’s defeat. She’d thrown everything she had into controlling his power, and when it had snapped back on her, ravaging through her like a cloying poison, everything had gone dark and hazy. 
It kind of sucks, because she’d done all that just to miss the most important parts, but…it is what it is.
What she does remember, besides Nya’s steady voice and Dareth’s panicked yelling, is the blazing warmth that was Lloyd carrying her.
That and his painfully bony shoulder digging into her stomach. 
“I was trying not to get us crushed,” Lloyd mutters, cheeks turning pink. “Sorry my shoulder wasn’t up to cushion-y standards.”
“And I’m trying to say thank you,” Skylor sighs. “But seriously. Put something on those bones.”
“Meh meh meh,” Lloyd mocks. There’s a lack of his usual energy in the action, the dullness to his eyes only made worse by the bruise-like circles beneath them. But it’s still very Lloyd — a flash of the friend she knows. 
“I really do mean it,” she says. “Thank you. For carrying me out of there. For saving me.”
Lloyd stares at her with dark eyes. Not as dark as they were, back when he’d lost his power, but the glow is almost entirely absent.
“You shouldn’t—” he bites off, frustrated. He tosses the rock he’s holding, up and down. “It was never a question.”
He glances at her. “Besides,” and there’s the closest she’s seen to a real smile. “You saved us first.”
Not nearly soon enough, she thinks. 
She should’ve told him, should have asked — should have let him know how it felt to watch her father fall deeper into madness, told him what it felt like to lose hope — what it meant, to move on. 
To cut ties, before they strangled you. 
“How are you,” she says, as gently as she can. Then, because gentle doesn’t always get you through the walls they build— “For real. Not how people want to hear you’re doing, or the answer you think they want. How are you.” 
Lloyd stiffens. There’s a flicker of fear in his expression, his mouth moving on instinct. 
“I’m doing okay.”
Tremors lace through his hand where he holds the rock, shuddering fingers tracing over the rough surface. 
“Okay as I can be.” He looks down, the rock slipping from his fingers as his arms wrap around himself. “I know that isn’t the answer you want, but I don’t…”
He looks back up, the lights of Ninjago City misty in his eyes.  
“I don’t know what people want me to say,” he whispers. 
Skylor wishes he’d screamed it. Wishes he’d snap, wishes he’d find the anger where it simmers inside him and turn it outwards against the world, rather than violently projecting it inwards like a masochistic missile all the time. Anything at all, instead of this hollow brokenness. 
It reminds Skylor a bit too much of—
Well. 
“I know I — things are—” Lloyd swallows. He pauses, raising his hand to scrub at an already-bloodshot eye. “Everything happened so fast. It was like — like getting hit with a bus, then another bus, then she — put the bus in reverse and ran me back over, and I never really had the chance to…to…”
“To get back up?”
Lloyd nods. He picks absently at a bloodstained patch on the leg of his gi. “And I know that’s just a stupid metaphor, but getting back up is…it’s really—”
Lloyd’s pulling threads loose now, tugging hard enough that he’s likely to start unraveling holes in his gi. 
“Can I tell you something? Something that’s not…not so good.”
“Hey, you know me.” Skylor elbows him. “I’m an expert at not-good.”
Lloyd’s eyes are a little too knowing. “You’re really not.”
And she’d turn a mirror on him, if she could. “What is it, then?”
Lloyd looks away, one unusually-sharp tooth gnawing at his lip. 
“I know my dad — my dad I used to have — he loved me. I know he did.” Lloyd sounds, rather devastatingly, like he’s trying to convince himself. “But now that he’s…now that he’s like this, and after everything that happened, I almost wish — I almost—”
He cuts off, covering his face with his hands. “Never mind.”
Skylor stays still, her gaze fixed ahead on a dark spot in the city skyline. If it were her, she’d want—
Lloyd’s voice is a muffled whisper. “I wish he’d never loved me at all.”
Skylor lets out a long, shaky breath. 
Lloyd gives a dry, horrible kind of laugh. “That’s terrible, isn’t it? It’s so selfish, it’s — I’m a horrible person, for thinking that way. But it — it hurts now, to think that — that maybe, now that I’m different — and her — that even my dad—” 
“It hurts,” she murmurs. “To lose it. To think that it’s your fault.”
Lloyd brings his arms over his head, the bandages on his left arm a stark white in the dimness as he buries his face in his knees. Curling up, as if he can make himself small enough the world will finally forget he exists. 
Skylor’s…familiar. 
But then again, is she? 
She swallows. Her father was one thing, but if — if he came back now, after she’s worked so hard to move on — at the height of his madness, what would she do? 
She’s out of her depth, as she’s always been.
But there was a reason she answered the call so fervently, a reason she followed Lloyd without hesitation. Skylor doesn’t put much stock in the Green Ninja, doesn’t put much in any kind of prophecy. But she does care, very much, about Lloyd, and she thinks that’ll take her a bit farther.
“You know.” She looks down, running her finger over their last rock. “You were one of the first people that gave me any hope that I could change. That, uh, someone could love me.”
Lloyd startles, emerging just enough that she can see the green of an eye. “Huh? Me?”
She nods. “Back on my father’s island, during the tournament. I was convinced that…that after everything I’d done, with who I was, there wasn’t a chance I’d find someone who loved me.”
Lloyd frowns, lowering his arms so he can look at her fully. “But I didn’t — Kai was the one who reached out to you. He was the one that saw you. I didn’t…I didn’t really do anything.”
“Yeah. He did. But he reached out to you, first.”
Lloyd stares at her, eyes wide. Skylor smiles at him. “You were good. No matter how bad your family had been. And it…it had been okay, for you.” 
The mistiness returns to Lloyd’s eyes as he looks back to the skyline, his lip caught tightly between his teeth. 
“We’re doing okay, right?” Skylor pulls her own knees up to her chest. “You and me. I mean, we helped, a lot. We fought back for the city. You did a lot more than me, obviously, but—”
“Don’t say that,” Lloyd sounds pained. “Don’t compare it, like I’m — I do a lot more harm than good, sometimes.”
“You don’t say that,” Skylor snaps. 
Lloyd flinches. She bows her head, staring down at her feet. 
“We’re good,” she says, hating the way her voice wobbles. “We’re different.”
It’s occurring to her, how cold it is out here on the water. She hopes Lloyd doesn’t get home with a cold, on top of everything else. 
“We’re different,” Lloyd echoes.
“Yeah.” Skylor swallows. “That has to count for something, right?”
Lloyd makes a small noise, but it isn’t one of disagreement. There’s a rustling as he reaches for the bag, then holds out their final, sad rock. 
“Wanna give it the last try?” He gives her a crooked, half smile. “Make it count?”
Her fingers close over the rough surface, cold against the warmth of his hand. 
The brightness of the sun against water on her father’s island in her eyes, Skylor flings the rock as hard as she can, far enough that it’s swallowed entirely by the harbor darkness. 
If she tries, she can imagine it skipping, just once, across the freezing waters. 
She tells herself, it counts anyways.
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blissfulrain12 · 2 days ago
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The Psych Evals Are Useless!
I see the fandom put a lot of emphasis on the psych evals so I feel like I need to say this: THEY SUCK!!!!
First of it's just a checklist of questions being asked by employees who aren't mental health professionals. If it can accurately assess anything it's very limited.
Second apparently Curly has answered the questions the exact same way at least twice with no real follow up. Like he can just give memorised answers while actively spacing out mid conversation during the evaluation and still pass.
Third no one looks over them. They just get filed away.
Fourth even if someone were to fail there's nothing that can be done for them. There's no redundancy in the crew so they can't be placed off duty cause there's no one to pick up the slack. Any medical intervention like medication that might be available will come out of the employee's pay which actively discourages using it.
Fifth there's no mental health support for the medical staff performing the evals. That's just a huge oversight that could compromise the rest of the crew's mental health.
Sixth if the one question we hear Curly read is anything to go by the psych eval isn't even about mental wellness. It's focused on being a good employee. Whether they can still do their jobs not if they need mental health support.
I know people focus on the evals catching Jimmy but even an effective general psych eval might not catch Jimmy cause he's not actively distressed until he's been fired. Jimmy has issues but he's functioning and arguably happy on the Tulpar until he gets fired. Even then Jimmy being upset about that is normal it's what he does with that upset that isn't. For Jimmy to have gotten help someone would have to recognize that the way he treats Curly is abusive and intervene.
And not just Curly by the way. I know there's this emphasis on Curly being Jimmy's friend and supervisor but he's also his victim and based on what we see of their interactions he's been Jimmy's victim for a long time. Victims aren't responsible for their abusers. For example, Anya is in charge of the crew's mental health but when she can't properly do that with Jimny because she's both not given the proper resources and because he's sexually harassing her (at the very least since the game is unclear about when the rape occurred) we understand. When it comes to abusive behaviors it's up to everyone to keep an eye out.
In any case the person a good psych eval could have helped is Curly. Even with his repeated answers and the ineffectiveness of the PE eval Curly still pings as something being wrong. And when it comes to Curly there's a lot going on with him. He's sleep deprived both because of company policy and apparent insomnia. His work load has increased with more and more things on the ship becoming dependent on him since according to Swansea's comments it wasn't always like this. He's going through a crisis about his life's direction and feels trapped in his current job and feels like his life is something he's trying to run from. And most urgently he's actively in an abusive situation that he'd need help realizing and getting away from.
If PE cared more for its employees and took their mental health seriously Curly would have been better supported. The only thing the psych evals in the game are good for is shielding Pony Express. If things go wrong they can say they did routine evals and the employees passed them and if need be scapegoat the Nurse and Captain for not doing a good enough job.
So yeah, the psych evals are useless for the employees' well being but super useful for the company to escape responsibility.
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frogathy · 1 year ago
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one way to say you havent seen the barbie movie without saying you haven’t seen the barbie movie is hating on female characters that are just normal girls who don’t do very much. or writing off female characters as shallow because they don’t have outwardly exceptional traits (i.e. big massive boobs, incredible otherworldly power, super tiny boobs, she owns a business and also runs a country and also she’s really mean and cold because that’s hot and it goes against the gender stereotype, she’s an alien, she’s a furry, she’s secretly a spy, her personality is very clearly different and special OR she’s so mysterious that she REALLY has no personality but bc she’s so vaguely mysterious that doesnt matter bc the mystery makes her deep and alluring, etc)
girls can just be girls.. girls just.. wanna have…. fun..
let us embrace the concept of the ambiguous female character, i beg of you. just as there are twink boys and big buff himbos, let there be president barbies and “just mom” barbies. how about we just. stop placing expectations of either extreme onto anyone. let’s try that. thank you
#love: a girl who was raised ‘anti-feminist’ (the joking words of my dad)#(the words that made me think i could not have opinions about women at all even though i am one)#(as if commenting on or even thinking about the subject of women is in itself an act of RADICAL FEMINISM!)#(like holy shit thats a damaging concept! anyways im enjoying acknowledging what i think about the issue of Women. personally?#i have opinuons about women😼and im sharing them on the internet😼😼)#this post is about nilou from genshin impact🗣️#she’s just some fucking girl and shes a dancer and shes just. like. DUMB. because shes purehearted and innocent#and people look at her and say shes useless and she did nothing for the storyline and shes shallow#SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!!!#idiots. all of them. idiots#even though she’s canonically the LITERAL embodiment of beauty. that is not enough for them#the hypocrisy. its so grand#anyways#girls. am i right#i could talk so much about her i love her so much she literally menas so much to me#i could talk about her for so long snd all of the amazing things about her that are not on the surface but ill spare this website#froegis meep tag#barbie#nilou#genshin nilou#female characters#i feel so free being able to just fucjing acknowledge that i think this#i still have a sense of ‘but what if im wrong and im being a snowflake’ as if having an opinion that differs from my dad makes me a snowfla#like wat da hel! enmeshed families be hittin different 😼#and perhaps theres a bit of internalized mysoginy in these little bonez of mine😼 butt who knows. something for my therpist to unpack#important
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sunnywalnut · 3 months ago
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No but I'm still looking for the Denny's that is still in the middle of nowhere
having cis guy friends is so funny like youll ask if they wanna hang out and theyll send you to the dark woods
#no joke#my brother. fresh out of the house. 19#years old. rolls up to our house right after midnight with a car full of teenagers. tells me and my little sister to get in.#obviously we're asking questions. where are we going. how long are we going to be gone. what are we doing. why are all these people in here.#and a big ol barn that quite literally looks like it's from a Scooby Doo snapshot. it's falling apart#the whole shebang#he answers NONE of them.#so we get in the back seat. I'm being gay with my friend at the time. and we're chilling listening to tunes on the radio.#except now they're talking about a Denny's. i look to the front seat where my brother is driving and he pulls up pictures on his phone#of the inside of somebody's. house. What?#and if that wasn't weird enough. we had already driven 20 minutes off a sideroad into the middle of nowhere. nothing but grass#and a big ol barn/farmhouse that looks like it came straight out of a Scooby Doo snapshot. it's dark as hell out. the lone building appearin#blue in the dark. with a single orange lantern lit hanging from the top. i look to my brother who has never lead me astray before.#and I feel like i am part of Scooby Doo. five teenagers in a car. in the middle of the night. wondering where the hell Denny's went.#now finally my brother has some wits to him. and we take a tight u turn and turn ourselves around. good. shows over right? WRONG.#this bitch pulls up YET ANOTHER place on his phone and starts driving 15 MINUTES UP ONTO A DIRT ROAD AND KEEPS DRIVING.#we're going to a haunted bridge boys!#in the middle of the night! at like 3am! the witching hour! great plan broski. sounds awesome. good thinking there.#we get to this haunted bridge. and this mf is barely 5ft across. but the water below is dark and murky and my lil sis INSISTS she sees a#dude down below. so I'm silently freaking out because what the hell do i say to that. she's like. 13. i tell her it'll be okay. because#that's what big/middle bros do. we drive over the bridge. nothing happens. cue relaxation. my brother is audibly disappointed#“well that was useless” bro you almost took us to Denny's in some cannibalistic farmdudes basement. i think I'll take the barely haunted#bridge. my brother. who still wants to show us an adventure. and probably save face in front of his friends. flips us around yet again and#starts heading off into a whole NEW direction. towards the World's Largest Gas Station!#it is like 4am by now. we're hungry. we're cramping. losing our marbles with exhaustion. and still processing our latest episode with the#Mystery Machine. so fine. I'm taking a nap. just don't get us killed in the long run.#we survived. btw. if that wasn't obvious. and we did actually make it to The World's Biggest Gas Station. and it was pretty fun.#as far as gas stations go at least. i got some honey sticks and a lollipop in the shape of a bear. i don't really like honey. but it wascute#there were walls FILLED with stuffed animals.a whole clothing department. a candy shop. and even a full fledged restaurant on the other side#i think there were even two levels to it? i can't remember. but anyways. we eat. we leave. we survive. end of story.
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ame-to-ame · 2 months ago
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:|
#i am not gods strongest soldier#she'll talk to someone who will say stuff like you're useless to her and take it fine but. she won't even stand to be in the same room w me#what difference is it to be being in your room playing games with the same people all the time vs. like idk.#aren't you just transferring who you're dependent on. is the difference just the level of commitment. you feel like you can leave whenever#nothing's changed really somehow. you're still doing the same things you did while back then. just that you also avoid me.#and god i don't know. i tell myself I'll care less I'll get over it it is what it is and i try so hard to be busy and not think abt it#but i can't sleep w/o watching something these days or else it's on my mind and that's been shit for my sleep quality#it's the first thing that pops up in my mind when i wake up. i get distracted in class sometimes by it. it's not like i can control it#it's just like the more you try to not think abt sth the more it comes up type of deal.#and I'm trying so hard but i think this is legitimately. gonna make me spiral and I'm trying my best to have a grip and not go there#i have things I'm looking forward to and I'm supposed to b having fun but it's hard when. There's that looming in the back of your head.#ugh ok rational choice let's go. i don't try to talk to her: we don't talk. she doesn't try to talk to me. i suffer in silence.#maybe I'll get over it find something new that feels like a safehouse but that's a big if. and idk how long i can hold on for#i try to talk to her: maybe it could go well? but maybe she'll just get more avoidant#i don't really get it it's like she can respond and laugh to stuff i say when in a group setting but she gets so guarded when it's just me#like subconsciously you know I'm not a threat you can allow yourself to have fun around me.#but you're consciously putting a guard up around me and reinforcing the negative feelings when it's just me#god. i don't. but. at least it sounds like she's happy for now so. that's all i ask for. if she doesn't want to see me i don't show up#i want to see her but. i mean. There's really no compromise or middle ground here.#they say time heals everything but it's already been so long. i don't even know why I'm still attached. she's like a different person.#the person i loved appears every now and then just never in front of me and I'm trying my best but I've never been good with loss#how do you come to terms with something being dead and alive at the same time. how do you make up the mind to drive the nail in the casket.#i can't make myself put it into the dirt when i catch a glimpse of the person i once knew. that hasn't changed for anyone else. just me.#vent#delete later
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0luv9 · 8 months ago
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forlorn || mattheo riddle
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Summary: based on this request.
Beware: angst, fluff, slightly aged-up characters, Hufflepuff reader, sweet reader, she/her pronouns used, mostly in second person, jealousy, mistreatment, a little bit of blood, slightly commanding(?) and intimidating Mattheo.
Words: 7.8k (not beta read)
Note: I am sorry luv, I don't think I did justice to the request. I also apologize for taking so long. I still hope you like it, even if it's just a bit. @cat-loves-music
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Mattheo Riddle, son of Voldemort, or Tom Riddle if you will—for a more humane approach. But then, there's no humanity in the way he's treated. Always an outsider, always a monster.
There is wealth to his name; after all, he is the only living heir of Salazar Slytherin. However, his blood is corrupt, shunned by the very people who kissed the steps his baby feet took. Looked down on by the blood supremacists and not accepted by the other side, the "good side."
Even he was tired of the same sob story. He doesn't even need to introduce himself; they already have a preconceived image of him in their minds. He could try to fix his image in an ideal world, but even then, what would he say?
'Hello, everyone, I'm Mattheo Riddle, son of the man who once threatened your lives. Please welcome me with warm hands.'
Too cliché? Yes, but it's true and the only truth he knew.
Riddle didn't even know why the name Riddle was cursed and didn't know what his father did that made everyone's hate transcend generations. What made their hatred justified and his hate a crime? He didn't know until it was too late.
Mattheo was raised by the only living relative of his, his mother's aunt—the one who died recently. The one who kept all this hidden away from him hid all the Hogwarts' letters, raised him like her own, and protected him until her last breath. She loved him but all within the vicinity of the manor. He didn't know the world that existed beyond those walls.
He knew about the world outside only through the books she'd let him read. He thought it would feel liberating to step off the lavish floors onto the rich earth. It was everything but that.
"But Nona, why can't I go outside?" he remembers asking that silly question when he was about nine. What he wouldn't do to get that naivety back.
"Because, my dear, there are people out there who wouldn't like you. There are bad people outside ready to punish you," he also remembers crying when she told him that. He didn't understand why people would hate him. He just wanted to try the chocolate frogs he read about.
He just wanted to talk to all the different animals out there, the same way he could talk to the garden snakes.
"But I didn't do anything wrong, Nona. Tell them that I'm a good boy. I can even give them some of my toys. Will they like me then?" If only it were that easy. His Nona cried for the first time in front of him then, looking at all the toys he had set onto her lap, looking at her with teary eyes, pleading, "I didn't do anything wrong, Nona, I promise."
Mattheo didn't understand her tears back then, but now as he stands all alone, those same tears fall out his eyes. It's useless. "They'll know that someday, moon pie. You aren't wrong. They'll know." They'll know? What a fucking joke.
Mattheo tries to enjoy the view in front of him, you know. But how can he? When his batchmates are out there partying and enjoying life, he's been a lone wolf all his life. Yet in moments like this, he seems to forget his old ways of existing.
There's not much he can do anyway; he's not needed anywhere. In fact, they all want him gone. Finding beauty in small things is hard when misery clings to him. There's self-loathing in the way he thinks about the night and himself. There's nothing positive he can say.
You'd think that he must've gotten used to it all by now. No, he hasn't; it only got worse. At least little Mattheo held hope that people would understand someday or the other. Every bit of hope was destroyed by the very people who would've feared him had his father been alive. In moments like this, he wished he could see the man, live as the son they paint him as.
He'd have someone to lean onto then, someone to call his own. At least his father would've loved him. But this last bit of consolidation too was stolen away from him when he got to know that he was a backup plan for his father. Mattheo Riddle was not supposed to exist. His father wanted to live on forever; he was the last option the so-called Dark Lord had, to produce an heir and have them further his cause, and control his life as Tom lived on his last lifeline.
But all of it died with him. Mattheo promised himself that he would never be the man they all expected him to be, the man they wanted to point fingers at. So, he stayed in line. But then he thinks, sometimes, maybe, what if—you know?
He simply stares up at the brightly lit sky, it's a shame that he's the only one out there to appreciate the scenic beauty because he's physically and mentally incapable of appreciating anything, you can't blame him now, can you?
Cold breeze in mid-August, how fucking ridiculous just like this life of his, so unlike his peers, who were out there partying and having the time of their lives, the music vibrating through the walls was like salt on wounds. He'd like to drink a few and chat with his friends but then again, he hasn't got any. And it's the bitter truth that he's not welcome there, he'd be greeted with nasty looks if he tried to enter any such party, they'd all glance his way like the ominous thing he is. It's times like this when he really contemplates it.
Mattheo looks down from the height he's on, no one would care anyway, the fall will kill him, might just give it an actual try unlike those previous attempts- he's been a coward all his life, never ready to face the extremes of life but he has nothing to protect at the moment, he's come far too long, life was never going to be worth it.
He climbs over the railing onto the brick ledge, sitting down for a moment, to take it all in for the last time ever. Mattheo remembers all the whispers that followed him, the suspicious looks passed along the way, those words of disdain- at the same time the thoughts of a happy life enter his mind, it all feels unattainable, in fact, he's so far gone he can't even picture joy, all he sees is bright colours when he thinks of a happy life.
Mattheo had desperately sought relief all his life, but the pain only worsened with time, it's only reasonable to want to end this feeling of hopelessness. The weight of his family's legacy feels heavy on his shoulders. He slouches over and looks down once again, sighing as his eyes shift to the ring on his finger, the other Gaunt ring, he slowly removes it- a pathetic heir he is, he doesn't deserve it, couldn't live up to the name, disappointing both sides of the world.
Maybe they should have destroyed this along with his father's ring but apparently, his dear sweet Nona thought he could change their fate, change the course of history, change the Gaunt legacy for the better, fuck- he couldn't even try and change people's perception about him. Even in this sense, he's nothing like his predecessors, incapable of leaving a mark, of changing the world, be it for the better or the worse. He's just fucking worthless- he fiddles with the ring as he shifts a bit closer to the edge, ready to let go of it.
"Nice ring," he turns around startled, "Mattheo, isn't it?" not Riddle? He hadn't heard his own name in a long time, no one had directly addressed him in years let alone called him by his first name. It all feels foreign, he simply nods not knowing what to say. "Do you mind if I join you?" you don't wait for a response though and carefully bend and climb through the gaps between the two rails, settling down beside him. "Hi, I'm-" he doesn't hear it, he's too focused on your face, you were dolled up, for the party he thinks, but then why are you here of all places? Was this some kind of prank? He steals a glance back at the entrance and the seemingly empty hallway, to see if anyone is waiting for a reaction.
"You know you shouldn't sit so close to the edge, you might fall down," you grab his forearm urging him to move back, your hand feels warm on his skin, it feels unnatural, his hands are always cold. Even though it's on him for a couple of seconds he can't help the multiple emotions going on about in his mind and before he can sort them out, his mouth decides to act on its own, "Why aren't you at the party?" "Oh-" you look disappointed, and he apologises right away, not wanting to upset the only person who had the decency to talk to him, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he's quick to defend himself, it's a natural response after all but you only seemed amused, "No, it quite alright, I was just surprised by your voice-" "Is it that bad?" "Gosh no! It's just not what I expected, quite rough, it's nice," you are quick to shut him up, "And about your question, I am annoyed at my friends forcing me to try more drinks and all, I just came up here to relax."
"I can leave if you'd like," you add on as an afterthought, but you really didn't want to go, it was the only place with some peace, unlike the loud corridors and dorms, where you were mad at your friends and were in no mood for a party. "No, it's quite alright, I was just surprised," he tries to lighten the mood, repeating your words jokingly, it works, you laugh and properly look at him instead of the waters ahead.
"Haha so funny," you say in a monotonous voice, trying to act like you didn't just laugh but you can't contain your smile, and he finds it quite beautiful. You look down at the ring between the two of you, "it's a beautiful ring I must say," You compliment it again since he hadn't acknowledged it before. Mattheo thanked you quietly trying to think of a response that might not make you run away from him.
It's been only a few minutes and you've said more nice things to him than he has ever heard in his whole life, it's quite ridiculous when he thinks about it, seemingly you find it quite easy to compliment him. He stays quiet not knowing how to take a compliment, but you don't let the silence continue, you look around trying to find something to talk about and soon enough you start talking and he's glad, "You know about those plants right there?" you point to the shrubs at some distance from the castle walls. Mattheo shakes his head unable to recall if he had seen them before. "It's alright but now that you know, you have something to look forward to this upcoming month!" you smile yet again, cheerful that you have something to share.
"What's special about them?" "It's not the plant itself but the fireflies that live there!" Mattheo tries hard to keep up with your energy and pace, "Why aren't they out now? They aren't migratory, are they?" "That's what makes it special unlike fireflies that are present throughout the summer, these ones light up only for the last week of August," "I'll look forward to it," "You should! I missed it last year and then everyone thought I was lying when I mentioned it." Mattheo frowns, "No one knows about them? Not even the professors?" "The professors would know but it wasn't that serious that I'd take it up to them," Mattheo finds it difficult to relate, he always would let everyone know that he was in the right if the facts favour him because no way in hell would he let anyone see him in the wrong light, he couldn't bear to be in the wrong.
And it slips out his mouth, "I would've argued till they knew I was right," "I don't like arguing though, reminds me of my parents, they parted ways because they argued a lot, so I try to avoid it myself," his lips purse trying to think of an appropriate response, "Anyway, you are in Slytherin right?" it wasn't a question, you just knew, "I'm in Hufflepuff, nice to meet you!" you turn towards him and extend your hand with a smile, he can't help but mirror your smile, "Nice to meet you indeed." Your hand feels soft in his, he was finding it hard to let go but you pull your hand back almost instantly- remembering something, "OH right I forgot, do you like chocolates?" Mattheo was quite taken aback by your energetic self, it was infectious, "Of course you do, it's a silly question, I mean who doesn't like chocolate-" you stop midway and fix him with a scrutinising look, "Unless you are some heartless monster-" "Nah I like chocolate alright," "Good good."
You fish through your jacket's pocket and pull out two chocolate bars, "It's muggle chocolate," you place one in his hand, "Muggle? I've never had muggle candy," Mattheo inspects the small sweet in his hand, "You are missing out then!" you chuckle as you take the wrapper off yours, "I'll eat it tomorrow, thank you," He pockets it and looks ahead with a small smile, tonight's beautiful now that he looks at it.
"You are a muggle born then?" Mattheo can't help but want to know more, because how dare his fucking father go after your lot, "Yep, I was surprised you know? To receive the letter, I thought it was some prank but of course, after a few days I realised how real it was, couldn't have been happier, to be away from home." It's funny because all Mattheo wants to do is go back to the gloomy old mansion and here you were saying the opposite, the stark difference between the two of you was obvious to him.
You ramble on and he listens, it's nothing but enjoyable to listen to mundane stories being narrated with such interest, he finds himself smiling a bit too much, to the point where his face hurts but he doesn't care because you are quite the lovely company to be around.
Muggle-born, the same year as him, Hufflepuff, living with your mom- it's not the best back home he gathers that much. You were angry at your friends and were going to hold a grudge if they didn't apologise. He learned a lot about you in that one hour and learned a few things about him as well, he didn't know he had jokes like that OR you were just too kind to laugh at his bad quips, whatever it was he was grateful because you didn't make him feel bad or like a burden. Mattheo was glad that you were the talkative one and that you didn't expect him to share anything if he wasn't comfortable, also the fact that he didn't want to send you running away by talking more about himself.
He admires the fond smile you wear when you talk, the stars reflect a bit too brightly in your eyes, and he inhales breathing in your scent, it's surreal, the moment. Mattheo didn't quite think properly until you left, wishing him a good night, "it was nice spending time with you, Mattheo!" He wonders if you knew how much it meant to him.
...
He finds out your name the next day and sees you everywhere, it's annoying because he was tired since he couldn't sleep thinking all night about you and now he has to see your face again. Now that he knows you, he can't seem to avoid you, earlier it was easy to be blind but now, everything else seems like a blind spot but you. Or maybe it's that his head is not hanging low, avoiding looking up at people.
Mattheo got over the irritation rather quickly, discreetly looking at you, eyes following every movement of yours. But you don't look at him once, he was just like any other guy to you, the realisation both hurts and feels nice, knowing that you don't demonise him but also the fact that he's no one special either. And maybe, he can live with that.
He notices the large number of people you keep around, you are never alone, always surrounded by a group and you are always the one talking, you are clearly popular. How had he not noticed you before? But then again he knew no one in the school apart from the professors, he never tried to get to know anyone because of course his fate wouldn't allow that.
Mattheo seeks out the solace of the library to keep you out of his mind for a while but the plan doesn't seem to work when he finds the chocolate you gave him in his bag. He simply sighs, knowing that there is no escape, unwarps the sweet and pops it into his mouth, shutting his eyes, and recalls your sweet smile. Warmth takes over his body, it feels nice like this, he has to talk to you once again because that can't be the only interaction he has with you, not when it's all he can think about. He breathes out slowly, staring down at the wrapper and mindlessly reading the information on the back, his jaw tightens as he realizes his stupid pathetic feelings. Mattheo puts the wrapper in his quill case and tries to study with a head full of you.
...
Okay, now it was really starting to bother him, he practically couldn't keep his eyes off you, it's like a spell had charmed him in. He wasn't even trying to be discreet at this point, he downright stared at you from a distance, it was creepy, he was aware of that but he couldn't bring himself to give a damn. Mattheo doesn't like this new feeling you've instilled in him, it's sweet and it's fucking uncomfortable. He finds it extremely difficult to get rid of you from his thoughts, so he gives up on trying and lets his mind go on autopilot.
The way you talked to him without any judgement in your eyes that day, the images of you repeated over and over again in his mind. Even when he sees you with someone else he can't help but think you are in front of him telling him a story, with those animated expressions of yours, but then seconds later he comes to his senses and sees the smile that's not directed at him, the one you gave to everyone, him too. He thinks it was your pity, that made you talk to him. He didn't feel like he was burdening you then but now when he thinks of approaching you, he knows he'd be burdening you. Your life looks no different, every day is full of joy, and you aren't smiling any less.
Why would you talk to him of all people? Perhaps, you only talked to him that day because you needed a change of scenery and not because you wanted to, he's wrong in thinking that but he's also deluded. It's the only way he keeps himself at peace, to not see meaning in your words, to not long for your company.
But he's a Riddle after all, some things just run in your blood, he has his eyes set on you and he finds it difficult to look away. New dream of his, and he'd like to have it, no matter how unattainable it feels. Yet he hasn't got a clue, it's all too new, and he doesn't know what to do, he'd like to have a plan but what would the plan even say? Go and talk to her? Yeah, like he's about to embarrass himself in front of her.
...
Your eyes stretch at the sight of him sitting in the library, alone but not in some deserted corner, he had claimed the whole couch in the centre of the room, sitting right in the middle, reading a book leaning back, a frown on his face. He looked intimidating, and to be honest, you were scared of him, the little beer in you that night had given you the courage to approach him, maybe your fate was too kind to let you find him that night but now your nerves were on fire.
It was no secret to you that he had been staring at you the past couple of weeks, but you couldn't understand the look on his face, his jaw was always clenched, eyes narrowed, and not a hint of emotion on his face. Was he mad at you? Was he the planning on-
No. You didn't like to think about it, you didn't want him to be the man they paint him as, he's just a boy, your age, maybe that's another reason why you hadn't approached him. Staying away because you were scared that they'd be right, you'd rather delve into what ifs than actually be heartbroken, your imagination brought you bliss.
But would it really be your mind if it would let you just forget it? You think and think, getting worked up over every little interaction you've had with him. How could he be evil? He talked to you so nicely the other day, even- even though you were a muggle-born, a mud blood. But when you see how he looks at you, you can't help but feel scared.
It really was an intimidating sight, your courage wore thin but you had made up your mind. You approach him cautiously, as you greet him, you start feeling jittery and flushed, "Hey Mattheo."
Mattheo jerked his head up as he heard your voice, surprised, caught off guard in fact, he didn't trust his words just yet so he simply nodded at you, acknowledging your presence, closing the book and setting it aside, all his attention on you. "I came here to study and noticed you," you look around bashfully before continuing, "I just wanted to ask you if you liked the chocolate I gave you the other day, you know the one with dark brown wrapper-" "Yeah I did," He stops you from rambling on, not that he had any problem with it but you clearly seemed nervous, he just wanted to ease your nerves, "Right so-" you quickly pull out a small pack of the chocolate from your sling bag placing it beside him, straightening up, "I'll go then, enjoy-" you are quick to turn away from him, cursing yourself in your mind, blaming yourself for making things more awkward than they already were.
Mattheo stops you in your tracks as he calls you by your name, you turn around, and he speaks in that cold voice of his, "You said you were here to study right?" you nod timidly, clutching onto the straps of your bag, he leans back and with a flick of his wrist, a table and chair are summoned in front of him, "then study," he motions to the chair opposite of him.
You were quite taken aback, you stood there for a bit before actually registering his words, and you quietly sat down, you didn't have it in you to disobey him, he was Mattheo Riddle for fucks sake, he looked and sounded like someone who doesn't take no for an answer.
A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched you carefully sit down, looking down, not meeting his gaze, he couldn't believe it, you obliged his wishes? Mattheo leaned back fully, arms folding as he watched you, brown eyes capturing each detail, amusement crawled over his face as he watched you pull out multiple books all at once, various colourful stationery items sprawled out all over the table. You looked pretty like this, stray strands of hair framing your face, lips pursed in concentration. He knew how creepy he was being, so he opened his book again and tried to read but he simply couldn't not when you were sitting in front of him, he relished your presence and this was so unlike the others, every time he had looked at you- you had been surrounded by people, so it was a sight to behold, only for him to admire. So he did, in secret, glancing up at you, every few seconds.
It's been two hours and not once did he get bored of looking at you, a small smile lingered on his face as you closed your books and looked up at him, "How's that book?" you nod towards the book in his hand- the one he was supposed to be reading, "Good, good" he bites the inside of cheek as he lies through his teeth, "Got everything done?" he sets his book aside, fixing you with a soft stare, "Yes, I just wanted to revise a bit, I forget stuff easily if I don't revise regularly," you tilt your head a bit, his eyes were much softer now, and it made your heart flutter a bit, feeling a lot more comfortable than before, so you do what you usually do when you are comfortable- talk.
"By the way, did you study for the upcoming herbology test?" And before he could answer, you pulled out a piece of paper from your bag, "This is like the holy grail, a senior gave it to me last year, it has all the specifics, of recognising plants and how to make generalised guesses about their uses-" you speak in a hushed voice, slightly leaning over the table, eyes wide as you shared your little secret, "you can have it, I have it memorised haha" You bless him with that pretty smile of yours, pushing the paper towards him, you don't let him refuse the offer and start talking about something else, he gives you a small smile, and it makes your insides turn into mush, you bite your lip trying to contain your smile, eyes shy as you start fiddling with your hands on your lap.
You talked for hours, he was much more open this time, and the conversation flowed smoothly between the two of you, it was you who mostly did the talking but he didn't seem to mind he looked more than pleased, he didn't like talking much, it seemed, so you filled in the gaps, made it look so effortless like it was easy talking to him, maybe it was easy for you but to him, it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. You two stopped only when the librarian came in and told you it was curfew time, your eyes widened as you turned to look back at him, an amused smile on your face, both of you got up, walking beside each other, not uttering a word till you were out of the librarian's stern gaze.
"I made you miss dinner-" your eyes widened further as soon as the two of you got out, stepping into the empty hallway, "it's alright, I don't mind," you playfully rolled your eyes at him, he chuckled at your antics, "yeah sure, but your stomach would, but- we can sneak into the kitchens, you know, sneak some food out," you wiggle your eyebrows at him with a sheepish grin on your face, he scoffs in disbelief, a fond smile gracing his face, "something tells me, this isn't your first time sneaking around."
"No, it's not," you chuckle a bit before continuing, "So, are you coming or not?" you purse your lips, looking up at him with doe eyes and he questions your motives right then because there's no way you didn't have a clue about what you were doing, "would be an idiot to say no," he muttered under his breath shaking his head, "I didn't catch that-", "Yes, I am."
You give him a pleased smile, you looked so happy at that moment, he was rooted in his position as you started walking ahead of him, he had to look away to catch his breath, "Merlin" he exhaled, a hand reaching over to his chest to soothe his loud thumping heart, and in that moment he knew he was a goner.
"Mattheo-?" you turned around since you didn't hear him walk with you but soon he rushed to your side the moment you looked back, you gave him another smile as he walked beside you, he looked straight ahead then, you needed to stop doing that because no fucking way- would he be able to let go of you.
You lead him to the kitchen, both of you cautious, well just you- he was having the time of his life, getting a detention would be worth it, just a small price to pay. Mattheo repeatedly stole glances here and there, the moment you entered the kitchen, you grabbed his arm and pulled his painfully slow self in, "gosh- you sure do walk slow," you glare at him, but there's no malice in your eyes, instead they are just amused, you roll your eyes when he just shrugs in response, moving over to the tables. Mattheo just looked at you with fond eyes, he was just trying to buy more time with you by walking slowly and he didn't feel one bit guilty about it, he felt a bit too proud. 
You sigh dramatically before returning to him with a small tray in your hands, "I didn't find anything else, apart from these blueberry muffins," your eyes wander around once more trying to see if you missed something, "usually there's still stuff left, that's weird- oh well, at least we have these," you give him a small defeated smile, setting the tray on the table, shrugging as you felt that muffins weren't worth the effort of sneaking around and that you only troubled him further. Mattheo saw through you and he hated that you were feeling that way, "didn't I mention this to you? I love muffins, especially the blueberry ones." he gave you a small smile, picking up the muffin, taking a bite, "yeah, that's good, way better than the dry vegetable and chicken pies they make." He didn't look at you as he said that, but you smiled, realising what he was trying to do, you wanted to cry, why was he being so considerate? You were now beginning to go down a spiral, of all the times you thought of him in the wrong light, how dare you even think like that? 
Mattheo caught you staring and it was hard for him to control the heat that rose to his cheeks, he cleared his throat, "What? You don't like these? Well, guess they are all for me-" he teased, taking the tray in his hand and started walking away, "Hey! No-" you rushed after him with an amused smile, "I want one too," and the tray was shoved back into your hands, "better not eat all of them, yeah?" he gave you a small cheeky wink, leaning against the table, finishing the muffin in his hand. 
Mattheo offered to walk you back to your dorm, he didn't have to insist much, after all, you wanted to spend time with him too, you easily agreed after a couple of tries. You two walked in comfortable silence, as you neared the Hufflepuff dormitory, you were thinking about how you'd part ways, overthinking about what would be appropriate and in the mix of it, you just gave him an awkward side hug, squeezing his arm a bit before mumbling a quick "goodnight" and rushing in. 
He couldn't believe his eyes, were you blushing? No way, he must be imagining things. Mattheo could still feel your warm touch lingering on his side, the scene playing over and over again in his mind, he wanted to scream out of excitement- he was getting cuteness aggression, had to be it, his fists clenched at his side as he stared at the door, for god knows how long, if he could- he would've squeezed you into a bone-crushing hug, but you were quick, left him speechless. 
He walked back to the Slytherin dorm without any trouble, he closed the door behind himself and leaned back against it, he was pretty sure his skin was burning with all the warmth that was flowing through his veins. Merlin, he was embarrassing! Mattheo sighed contently, a big smile on his face as he replayed the whole day, your smile- 
...
The next few days, you guys didn't talk at all, he was back to staring and this time, when you did catch him in the act, instead of pretending you didn't see him, you gave him a knowing smile and a wave. Lingering looks, and subtle greetings, were sweet, Mattheo was now on a new high, he couldn't get enough. But for some reason, he maintained his distance, he stuck to looking at you from afar, it felt comfortable this way, not wanting to taint your reputation by talking to you in front of others, he'd talk to you if it was only you but you were never alone. 
Mattheo starts seeing life for what it is, when he looks at the trees outside, the castle in its entirety, he feels like he is seeing it for the first time. How had he missed this? He finds himself back at the astronomy tower, he looks at the lake ahead, it was a sight to behold, and he is starting to appreciate the view, these days he didn't care about much, you were all he could think about and you were more than pleasant, it was as if the grey lens of his life was replaced with a coloured one, and it would be foolish to credit anyone else but you for it, and he was fucking grateful for it. The reason he was here was, that it was the end of August, and the fireflies you so damn wished to see would be out tonight, he came here just in the hope that he'll get to see you alone. 
He was zoning out when some movement near the edge of the lake caught his eye, it was you- with a few of your friends, his smile faltered the moment he saw some blonde Hufflepuff dude pull you to his side, slinging a hand over your shoulder, you all walked towards the shrubs and didn't have to wait long before the fireflies lit up and started raising above the shrubs. He was about to leave, he was mad for some reason, really pissed- but then he took another look at you. You were standing a bit behind your friends, who had all their attention on the flies ahead, you seemed sad, looking down, messing with the soil beneath your shoe, hands in your jacket. Mattheo could make out the pout on your face, the deflated shoulders, you then turned to look right where he was, and he felt his breath catch in his throat.
Your posture straightened immediately, the pretty smile returning to your face as you looked up at the astronomy tower balcony, having spotted him, you waved at him. Mattheo nodded, forearms on the railing as he leaned forward, a smile gracing his features, the anger leaving him. You excitedly pointed at the sky, and he nodded, you turned back around when your friend called you and he couldn't look away, he was staring at you till you left, Mattheo started feeling the warmth creep up to him when he saw you making an effort to steal back glances at him. He felt seen, fucking special- 
...
Mattheo still hadn't talked to you, he couldn't catch you alone really, it was starting to get to him, he longed to hear your voice, hear you talk to him- and yet, he didn't have it in him to approach you in front of others, it would ruin you, you thrived in the company of others, he couldn't snatch that away from you. Maybe if he was a bit more selfish, he'd do it, snatch you away from others, have you all to himself but he wasn't about that life, it was something his father would do, he's sure of it, go after what he wants, not caring what others would think- 
Mattheo feels like passing out when you deliberately look at him just to give him a shy smile, a flushed look on your face. He walks away because he cannot handle looking at you, the urge is too strong, to just take you into his arms, he walks out to the empty hallway, a hand over his chest- it had become a subconscious habit of his, whenever you gave him that smile, the one that felt like it was just reserved for him, yeah that one, he felt like he was in heaven, you sent his heart rate through the roof when you did that, it borderline hurt him since he couldn't do much to satiate this feeling. 
The longing was etched into his eyes when he looked at you, one thing he realised was, that when he had his head up, no one dared to look his way, he was enjoying that power for some reason, it filled his veins with something dark, he liked seeing people look down instead of him looking down, it felt fucking nice, and it felt even better when the only person that did look at him, was you. People averted their eyes when he entered the room, choosing to ignore his presence but the fear was very much evident, so he knew they didn't see him staring at you but at this point, he really couldn't bring himself to make an active effort to look away even if someone noticed. 
It was no lie, that Mattheo wasn't up to date with all the gossip and news, he just lived life passively but now that he was out there more, he couldn't help but hear the words that fell onto his ears, Yule Ball, huh. WAIT- ball dance? That meant having a date, who were you going with? Fuck his mind was rambling shit to him, he could not let someone else take you to a fucking dance as their date, no, he wouldn't let that happen. He had to get to you before someone else did, it was nighttime, and tomorrow's the weekend, approaching you will be the first thing he'll do after he wakes up, he has to plan shit out, you know, make it special and heartfelt, you deserved nothing less.
But his heart nearly broke when he overheard two Slytherin guys talking about you. The way one of them talked about you made his blood boil, his jaw clenched tight, nails drawing blood from his palms as they dug into his coarse skin, "I told you not to ask her out, plenty of guys tried and guess what? She rejected them all." the guy who was being talked to only scoffed angrily, "She's a fucking slut, that's what she is, leading people on-" the other boy just stopped him and Mattheo exhaled, a bit relieved because if it wasn't for him, Mattheo would've smacked the guy and pushed him to the fucking wall, "dude, come on, that's not true, all she did was smile at you when you gave her your seat, she's a nice girl," these guys were in the fifth year, he recognised that much, "sure, whatever," the guy walked away to his room, making sure to loudly slam the door behind him. 
Mattheo then gets up and walks towards the guy left behind, the one who stood up for you, when he stands in front of him, he sees the dude cower into the seat, Mattheo tries to speak in a polite voice but the anger is still radiating off him, his irritated stare didn't help either, "she doesn't have a date, yeah?" his hands were behind his back, over one another, the blood still fresh, "who-o?" the guy stutters out, looking around for help but no one was there- "You know who," he fixes him with a glare, before uttering your name out loud, "no no, she doesn't, rejected them all." Mattheo then nods at him and leans back, then finally he walks back to his room, allowing the guy to catch his breath. 
Mattheo feels relief wash over him as he lets the information sink in, okay good, you didn't have a date but then again, why were you rejecting them all? What if you reject him as well? Yeah, he couldn't handle that wound, he'd fucking die, he contemplates whether he should ask you or not but he's done fucking waiting, waiting for his fate to fuck things over, if things are going to be fucked, he'll be the one to do it. 
...
Mattheo puts on a black shirt and black pants, not caring to tuck his shirt in, the cold metal ring stings him as he puts it on, the feeling is grounding, he's doing something his dad would've done and for some reason that doesn't feel half as bad, he feels like himself, it was like something had possessed him, the confidence was unwavering, even as he stepped out into the crowded hallway, hands in his pockets, looking ahead, people parted, giving him space and Merlin, did that feel fucking powerful. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows as he approached the room you'd be in, you always were there on the weekends, with your friends and he didn't think before he stepped into the room, heads turning towards him in shock, even yours but the shock on your face was soon replaced with a smile, quietly waving at him and that right there, fed right into his ego.
He walked over to you in a few quick strides, eyes zeroed in on you, nothing else mattered at that moment, "Can I talk to you?" To say you were surprised would be an understatement, you were ecstatic, you've wanted this for so long, to talk to him in front of others, you never knew if you should because he might've felt uncomfortable, "Yes ofcourse, what is it?" you nod, a smile still on your face, "Alone," his voice was cold, "oh yeah, sure-" you step towards him, thinking he'd lead you somewhere private but he stayed rooted in his place, eyes never leaving yours, he stayed quiet for a bit, taking in your whole self, the bright clothes you were dressed in, the equally bright smile on your face. Then he looked over your head, to the shocked faces of your friends, "Alone." It came out as an order, he couldn't care less. 
Mattheo liked this newfound authority, he also relished in the fact that you were being so compliant as if you wanted this to happen and he couldn't be more glad, "Guys, I'll be back, you can go ahead, don't worry," you explained, seeing their hesitance, his unwavering gaze was back on you, brown eyes were intense. The apprehensive group slowly emptied the room and just went the last person was out, Mattheo muttered something under his breath, and the door slammed shut, locking itself. 
Mattheo cursed that pretty smile of yours before smiling back, "You have a date? For the ball?" you lowered your eyes to the ground at the question, a shy look grazing your features as you shook your head, the more he looked at you, the more positive he got. "Good."  He finally pulled his hands out of his pocket and suddenly there was a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hand and a velvet box, he wordlessly handed them to you, your eyes were wide, full of amusement, face warm, you noticed how the lights around you got dimmer, the small mock firefly charms that floated in the air, you didn't have a clue on how he was doing all this without his wand but you couldn't bring yourself to think of it, not when you had him standing in front you, in all his glory, about to ask you to the ball, gosh you felt like you were on cloud nine, the guy you were waiting for had actually approached you? You had to be dreaming. 
Then out of nowhere, you hear your favourite song but on strings, you look down at the box curiously- "It's the muggle chocolate you were talking about, the one you said was hard to get your hands on," he shrugged nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal but in reality, he was finding the courage to finally tell you what he was feeling, ask you out. Your brows pinched together, as you noticed that all of it was a muggle, even the flower arrangement- the song, how did he do all of this? You looked up at him with an amused look. "No questions please," he breathed out like he was out of breath, you then smiled at him gratefully, and he quickly averted his eyes, his hand subconsciously reaching over to his chest, "Oh Merlin," he exhaled quietly, not being able to look back at you. 
He then slowly gathered the courage to look back at you, you were just looking at him patiently, the smile still on your face, Mattheo cleared his throat before opening up, "I have never been the one to be graceful but I want to do this properly." he inhaled sharply before continuing, "Ever since that night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I think I've gone mad honestly," He lets out a dry chuckle shaking his head, looking into your eyes, "I think I've taken a liking to you, your voice, your smile-" and then he interrupts himself, forgetting the little speech he prepared as he watches your smile widen at his words, "yeah that, more of that please," and that makes you blush, the genuine interest in his eyes, the way admiration shines in his eyes, you are so close to him, that you can hear his heart thumping loudly, "I'd like to have the honour of taking you to the ball," then he says your name quietly, "would you like be my date?" 
"Yes yes!" you couldn't be more excited, you are quick to throw your arms around him, and all the worries leave his body as soon as he is subjected to your embrace, he closes his eyes, pulling you closer, finding everything comfortable in your grip. His heartstrings thrum at the moment, it was embarrassing how quickly you got him flustered but he didn't seem to mind it. He whispered a small "thank you," before hugging you tighter, you just giggled into his chest and Merlin, did he feel like he had just won the lottery.
...
<<prev work: this love || mattheo riddle
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fungateshortcakes · 1 month ago
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Fight or flight (Logan Howlett x Reader)
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Summary: Your sister invited you and your husband Logan to her wedding! Too bad that the wedding was held in your hometown, which was days away from america if you drove by car. There was no other option than to use a plane - Logan wasn't exactly thrilled about it.
Warnings: implied sexual themes (Blowjobs, anal fingering), flight anxiety, possible spelling mistakes bc english Isn't my first language, overall just comforting fluff
Wordcount: 1.1k
Authors note: Does anyone want to peg Logan? Or have some sub!Logan stuff in general? I would write something like that because I have seen so little fics of it, but that makes me wonder if that’s even something people want :/ #JusticeForSubLogan
__________________________________
Logan hated this, he was only doing it for you. Your sister was getting married tomorrow and invited you and Logan to take part at the ceremony. Very nice of her, that also wasn't the issue. The problem was - she was getting married in your hometown, which was days away from america if you drove by car.
So that's why Logan found himself in a plane that was just about to take off.
You had booked a three-seat row to be a bit more comfortable on the eight-hour flight. You could store your bags on the empty middle seat between you and Logan to have free range of motion for your feet and legs. While you sat at the window, he was the furthest away from it. He couldn't bear to see the ground thousands of feets below you, it made his skin crawl.
He had fastened the seatbelt to the point where it was noticeably too tight against his abdomen, but it gave himself a sense of security. That and his right hand clawing at the arm rest while his left hand was crushing squeezing yours as if he was pushing out a baby. He certainly breathed like that was happening right now.
"Relax, the plane hasn't even started to move yet" you giggled softly, wincing at his strong grip. It definitely was a sight to see your husband all tense and stiff next to you, his chest heaving like he had run a marathon. It was amusing and pitiful at the same time.
He gritted his teeth and huffed, trying to calm himself. "We're gonna crash" he pressed out, looking down to his feet. "We are not gonna crash" you told him, squeezing his hand in reassurance. You knew about his past regarding planes and flying in general, that it was traumatic for him. Not to mention his fear of hights that made him feel anxious like nothing else. He felt sick to the stomach, like he was about to throw up. His chest was thight and he couldn't help the laboured breaths escaping him. You weren't doing this to see him suffer, but you weren't about to travel for a week by car and boat just to be at your sisters wedding for a day and traveling back for a week to america.
You lifted his hand up to your lips, kissing his knuckles soothingly. "Nothing will happen to you, nothing will happen to me. I promise"
He scoffed. "I hate you for putting me through this"
You nodded your head and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "I know" you cooed. "Don't think I am doing this for fun. But at least she is my only sister to get married, so when we are back in america, you won't have to set foot in a plane for a long while, okay?"
Your words only did a little to sooth his nerves, but he nodded his head anyway. It was one, sharp nod followed by a thick swallow. Logan jumped as the plane started moving suddenly, getting out of his parking spot and heading to the departure zone. He pressed his eyes shut and held his breath, mumbling something to himself you couldn't make out.
You rubbed your hand up and down his arm, softly shushing him. You felt a bit useless in this situation. You wanted to help him, but there was no way you could. Nothing you would say would take his fear and anxiety away, but you were determinded to make it better.
The closer the plane got to the departure zone, the faster was Logans breathing. A few flight attendents passing through had been worried about him, asking if he needed something. But he was so scared he couldn't even answer nor look at them.
"First time flying" you lied awkwardly and asked for a pair of earplugs for him. They were brought to you shortly before the plane was starting to become faster, speeding down the lane and picking up the pace. Logan was busy doing some breathing excercises so he wouldn’t completely pass out. That would have been a better option though, because the second the plane took off and gained more and more distance from the ground, his ears ached like a dagger had been rammed into one ear and went out the other. He hissed deeply at the change of pressure, his grip on the armrest nearly cracking the plastic. For others, the pressure gave them a mild headache, but with his heightened sense of hearing, this was torture, like his skull was slowly ripping apart at the seams.
You shoved your bags on the middle seat under your feet and put the armrests up between the seats so you could pull Logans head closer to you. You twisted the earplugs into his ears and held his head against your chest, one arm looped back over his shoulder and covering his eyes, the other on his chest, feeling the strong and erratic thumpthumpthump of his heart. You kissed the crown of his head, your hand moving from his heart to his arm, softly rubbing and squeezing. He whined softly in your grip at the pain the change of pressure brought him. It was still there, but not as bad.
"Shh, I know. It's gonna be over soon. I won't ever take you on a plane again, I'm so sorry" you whispered to him. "Once that wedding is over and we get to the hotel room, I'm gonna make you re-live our own honeymoon. Gonna make you feel good, I'm gonna make you cum so much to make you forget this experience. I want to make it up to you, baby" you cooed into his ear, your quiet voice only muffled, but he heard you anyway. The image of you handling his cock flashed across his mind. When you were really into pleasuring him, nothing could pull your mouth off his dick. You would be busy devouring him, a few fingers loosening up his tight hole while your tounge circled the throbbing, angry red tip of his cock, making him cum his brains out by just pressing the pads of your fingers against that delicious sweet spot inside him. And you wouldn't stop until he only remembered your name.
He shuddered in your grasp and only a small smile pulled at his lips. Well, at least there was something to look forward to. And he was sure you'd pamper him for fighting through this.
As the plane was at it's desired height, his headache lessened and you were able to let him go to sit up straight again, but not before he gave you a soft, thankful kiss. He was a bit calmer now, not as rigid anymore. All thanks to you. He could do this...but only if you continued to hold his hand and smile at him as if there was not a single thing to worry about in this world.
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bbydoll18xx · 5 months ago
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I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
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Paige Bueckers x reader
KK tries to set you up on live, and things between you and Paige go south.
Word Count: 1.7k
Themes: angst, maybe some fluff?
This is heavily inspired by my love life, so yes, please feel free to feel bad for me thanks xoxo
~
“And oh, my god, he was so fucking stupid,” you exclaim exasperatedly, your longwinded rant having no ending in sight. “Like you’re literally in college and you can’t even hold a basic conversation? And don’t even get me started on his fucking mustache,” you add, gagging dramatically for good measure.
Hands were flying in the air as you spoke, and the girls of UCONN’s women’s basketball team listened amusedly as you complained about your latest failure of a date. You had promised yourself you’d get back out into the dating world after your two year relationship with your high school sweetheart had ended, but that was nearly three years ago. And now that you had gone through every stage of grief and were now (mostly) mentally stable again, you had begun dating to find ‘the one.’ 
However ‘the one’ seemed to be hiding among the frat boys and useless idiots you had been spending your friday and saturday nights with for the last six months. And you were quickly growing tired of their bullshit. 
“And then,” you dragged out the word theatrically, leaning forward to the group of girls listening, “he told me he wanted to do a line of cocaine off my ass! Like who even says that?”
The girls erupt in a fit of giggles and gasps, disturbed by your most recent date. 
You shake your head in mild embarrassment and place your head in your hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh, trying to avoid Paige’s stare. 
She was always staring, as if she could tell what you were thinking. And to be honest, it freaked you out because if she actually knew what you were thinking, you’d be in some deep shit.
You had feelings for Paige from the first day you had met her, and the battle was certainly an uphill one at that. A little voice in your head whispered mockingly that the reason you had been going on all these dates was to distract yourself from the harsh reality that Paige was just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 
And it really fucking stung. 
KK cuts through the silence, placing a soothing hand on your back. “I know what to do,” she says with a knowing smile. You meet her smirk with a confused look, wondering what the younger girl had in mind. “Let’s go on live and find you a boo!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together.
The other girls erupt in laughter at the idea, nodding their heads in agreement. The only one who is uncharacteristically quiet is Paige, who has a funny look on her face. Her nose scrunches slightly, and because you had spent years memorizing every part of Paige, including her moods and facial expressions, you would almost say she looked pissed.
Glancing back over to KK, you let out another long sigh, throwing your hands in the air defeatedly. “Sure, why the hell not?” 
She whoops excitedly, grabbing her phone and propping it up on the table in front of where the two of you were sitting. She clicks on the live, and it was not long before hundreds of people were flooding in with comments. 
“Hey, y’all!” KK greets the fans with a small wave and a huge grin. You try to hold back a grin of your own, but her excitement was infectious, and you felt grateful that your friends cared about fixing your sham of a love life. 
“We’ve got a special guest tonight,” KK explains, and you wave shyly at the camera. You typically did not love all the attention, and you tended to stay in the background when the other girls would go live. 
“Okay, so boom, we are looking for a date for my girl over here,” KK begins, explaining the situation to the people on the live. “Serious inquiries only!” She adds, wagging a finger towards the camera. “She is precious, and some of y’all are straight up freaks.”
You giggle at her words, trying to read the comments. Many of them we’re trying to gauge your sexuality, and upon reading another ‘is she gay’ comment, you decide to clarify. 
“I’m bisexual,” you murmur shyly. It had been nearly 6 years since you had realized you like girls, yet you still struggled with enunciating the fact. 
“Oh girl, they love you,” KK sings, patting herself on the back for her idea. “How about if y’all have some talent, join the live and woo my girl.”
Paige has since moved from her chair opposite you to sit next to you on the couch. Her leg is pressed up against yours, the warmth of her body radiating onto yours, and you bite your lip. 
“Yeah, yeah Paige is here. This ain’t about blondie today,” KK scolds the fans. “Now I want to see some good talent.” 
You turn your head to look at Paige, and she rolls her eyes at KK. “KK, don’t be mean to them,” she laughs, waving to the live. 
In your head you’re thinking that you honestly can’t even blame the fans. Paige was hot. You wanted to see her too. 
KK lets in the first girl, who upon seeing Paige, shrieks and throws her phone onto the carpet of her bedroom. You laugh, and KK lets out a huff of annoyance, deleting her immediately and moves on to find another person.
“This one seems promising,” she mutters, and you play with a piece of hair nervously. Being in front of the camera felt ridiculous, and you wonder how you got yourself into this situation. You are quickly pulled out of your thoughts by another young girl, desperately trying to serenade you and the other girls with a song. You try your best to avoid cringing, but the performance left you with bad secondhand embarrassment. 
A whole twenty minutes pass before someone promising pops up on the screen. A girl about your age with long dark hair and piercing green eyes is waving flirtatiously at the screen, causing you to sit up a little straighter. Next to you, Paige stiffens, and your eyes flit to her on KK’s phone, jaw clenched in a way that has your stomach rolling. You look down and notice her hand was closed in a fist, the other picking at a piece of lint on the couch. 
You avert your eyes back to the girl who was still smiling widely, and you make casual smalltalk with her, feeling warm from the attention of a pretty girl.
Comments are flooding in, and while you’re glad to see that many of them are about what a cute couple you and the mystery girl would make, you also notice an influx in comments regarding how mad Paige looked.
Before you could look over to check on her, she was flying off the couch and stomping out of the room. You hear her door close loudly, and you meet KK’s eye with a confused look. Paige’s departure has the fans going wild, and you whisper to the younger girl that she should end the live. 
“Okay, y’all, we gotta go. Feel free to DM her, though,” KK tells the dark-haired girl with a devilish grin, and she signs off quickly.
“What the fuck was all that about?” you ask no one in particular, eliciting shrugs from Aubrey, Ice, and Jana. 
“She’s been moody all day,” Aubrey says casually, and you pout, thinking about your best friend who was clearly unhappy about something.
“I’ll go check on her,” you mutter, heading towards the closed door of Paige’s bedroom. Standing in front of it, you take a deep breath before knocking.
“Come in,” you hear her mutter, and you enter the dark room, the only light shining from the tv and reflecting off the glassiness of Paige’s eyes. 
You sit on her bed next to her, placing a comforting hand on her thigh. “What’s wrong?” you ask gently, not wanting to spook her. She rarely opened up about the way she was feeling, and you did not want to rush her into admitting anything if she wasn’t ready.
She shrugs, quickly wiping at her eyes, and your heart nearly crumbles at the sight. You rub soothing circles onto her leg and reach up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. The intimacy of it all is almost overwhelming, and you bite your bottom lip to keep in the feelings bubbling inside of you, threatening to expose everything.
“Just tired,” Paige mumbles, and you peek at her face, studying the beauty of her features. 
Your phone lights up in your hand, alerting you to a DM you had just received from the girl from the live, and you attempt to hold back a wide smile at her boldness. Paige looks down at your screen as you text the girl, Scarlett, back with a giddy expression. 
“I’m going to go to bed,” she says coldly, already moving to get under the covers. 
“Want me to stay?” You ask hopefully, trying to sound casual. Sleepovers between the two of you had become a cherished ritual, and you needed the simple proximity to make you feel whole again. 
“Nah,” she replies flatly, eyes closed and back turned in harsh finality. 
“O-oh, okay. Well, goodnight,” you stutter, temporarily stunned at her poignancy, and you flee her room with your head hung low in rejection.
“Is she okay?” KK asks. You don’t even know how to answer that.
“I have no clue what her deal is,” you mumble. “She’s never not wanted me around, so I think I’m just going to go. I’ve got a girl to get to know,” you add, trying to make yourself feel better.
“We’ll let you know if anything happens,” Ice responds kindly, and you nod gratefully in her direction before you take your leave.
You ignore the anxiety as you walk back home, instead focusing on the flirty messages Scarlett was sending to you. ‘This is what I need,’ you think. Paige was never going to be yours, and now you finally had a real chance at getting over her. 
With your head held high, you vowed that your feelings for Paige Bueckers would disappear. But would they really? Time could only tell. 
~
Part 2
Part 3
Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you would be interested in a second part to this!!
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tadc-harlequin-au · 5 months ago
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Harlequin AU - "Stalemate" (canon, fic)
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This is a wip art! It will be updated in the future.
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One step.
Leather shoes made their way on uneven grounds.
The crinkling of glass underneath the soles made their way prominent to the stepper’s ears, but she couldn’t care less.
This was the last known location of the man she’d been tracking for a while now. And this is the moment of truth. Did she still got it? Or will she fall as a trophy on a mantle?
Time to find out.
Squeaks of a rusty metal gate aired out into the open, gathering the attention of a few unwanted pests. But in quick succession, they were no more, swiftly falling prey to the sharp blade of the Puppet. There was not even a chance for them to strike.
Satisfied with her work, she straddles into the grounds of the mansion. First, the gardens.
One could say it was a serene scene, but for her it was a mere distraction. Unimportant. Simply delaying the inevitable.
She steps out into the lush open grass of the area. A huge empty space filled with nothing but prickly green underneath the blue hues of the night. She found amusement in the fact that there’s a chance she can ruin this place once she meets her opponent.
A lone, mossy fountain sat on the front. Not interesting.
She makes her way onto the stairs of the mansion entrance. Each step fills her with more vigor, excitement coursing through her being. The giant, elegant oak door groaned in protest as she pushed it open.
Empty.
No matter, there were many rooms.
She quickly hears the puttering sound of rotor blades spinning, and she looks to her right, finding a mini-blimp with a literal sharp smile, and a vacant expression on it’s glossy eyes.
“Hellloooooo,” it said, dragging the last syllable playfully, “Can I help you with anything?” The blimp asked with not a care in the world.
“I’m looking for someone.” The Puppet claims, pulling out a parchment of a wanted poster. It was useless to waste her energy on this… creature. So she will entertain it’s questions for now.
“Oh! You’re looking for the boss! I’ll lead you to him!” The blimp confirms her suspicions.
He was in this place, and she’d successfully tracked her target down. Now all that was needed was proof of her soon-to-be victory. It was only by a few rooms that she’d found him.
But the sight wasn’t as grand as she envisioned.
She expected a confident, prideful, and powerful fighter….
NOT whatever this mess who’s currently laying on the ground and leaning deactivated against an office desk was. WHAT THE FUCK.
Did she seriously come all this way for nothing?! She felt a little furious, and she redirected her burning gaze onto the blimp, grasping tightly onto the sword and pointing it’s sharp end with malice. The Blimp did not seem to react at her wordless threat at all, still flashing a sharp smile as it slowly turned to face her.
“EXPLAIN.” She demanded. “HE CAN’T BE ALREADY DEACTIVATED.”
“Oh, this is just something that happens allllll the time. Give him a little time.” The Blimp answered, and turned it’s attention back to 'the boss'. She kicked a leg, no response.
“Let me try!” The Blimp says, and with a clearing of it’s throat, it shouts. “BOSS! Someone’s here to see you!”
And in an instant, the exposed chest of the man lit up in two separate hues, and he sits up straight as if plunged underwater for long.
“GAH! WHA- WHO IS IT!” He yelps in surprise, holding a glass bottle by it’s neck as if ready to throw. His shocked gaze soon falls on…. To the Harlequin, who unveils her tattered covers protecting her from outside elements, and reveals her face.
“Puppetmaster. I’ve come to challenge you.”
He blinks a couple of times with wide eyes, and his stare keeps shifting from the blimp, to her, and then repeat. After a while, his gaze falters and an unimpressed groan escapes the strange Puppet across from her. “Not again…” He mutters under his breath. "Bubble, what did I tell you about letting people you don't know in?"
...Not again?
“Wh- What do you mean “not again”- This is the FIRST time I’ve come here!” She replied, and the Puppetmaster only crosses his arms as soon as he manages to get up on two feet.
“And it certainly won’t be the LAST, I see.” He shuffles away, the metal cane tapping to the marble ground with each step he took, and the Harlequin is left utterly confused. She grumpily follows him to the main lounge, ready to demand once more.
“Are you fucking deaf or what? I said I’ve come to challenge you!”
“Not interested.” He feels around in a bookshelf, pulling out a rather large tome. He opens it and retrieves a bottle full of liquid.
He was really testing her patience, huh?
As soon as he turns around, The Harlequin makes quick work of slicing the bottle in half just to show how serious she is. The glass quickly detaches, and the liquid spills onto the floor, leaving the Puppetmaster with an unamused, disappointed stare.
“.... That was the last of it’s kind, by the way. You just killed off one of my favorite drinks” He replies with a hint of unserious humor, and it makes her teeth grit in frustration.
“I AM NOT LEAVING THIS PLACE UNTIL I GET WHAT I FUCKING CAME FOR!” She angrily responds. “So you either stop with your shit and fight me, OR ELSE.” She points the sword straight at his core, and the pair of dentures simply rolls his eye to the side, and pushes the blade away.
“Hmm. You know, for a moment, I really thought you were different.” He drops to the floor and detaches a tile after tapping at a seemingly hollow tile with the cane, revealing yet another hidden compartment full of unknown bottles. He sticks his tongue out a little as he reaches for them, but as soon as one was retrieved, The Harlequin repeats the same action as before, as well as shattering the other bottles within.
He blinks once, then twice. “Can you stop wasting the only thing that’s keeping me from jumping off of the deep end, pretty please?” He pleads, but it’s completely devoid of sincerity.
She growls, and grabs his collar. He is slightly surprised, but quickly goes back to his uncaring attitude while staring at her grip. “Umm… Normally I would not mind the touch, but you’re wrinkling my shirt.” His carefree attitude was picking at her nerves, and she bares her sharp teeth at him. His eyes widen a little, but it’s clearly not from fear.
He shakes it off, and squints at her humorlessly, unfazed by the threat.
“I am not repeating myself again, Puppetmaster. FIGHT. ME.” There’s a surprising yet subtle hint of desperation in her tone, but it was heavily masked by her aggressive tone and he finds himself disgruntled at his own thoughts.
He sighs.
“I don’t see a point in accepting that offer from a rookie like you, who doesn’t seem to know what fights they wanna pick… But fine.” He relents, “I’ll entertain you a little. I’d rather not cause more mess than usual for my little helper, though. All I ask is that we pick a different location.”
She was a little insulted at the term he had called her. But she swallowed her pride down in favor of the fact that he was finally agreeing to the duel. “Very well then.” She lets go of the collar. “I’m fine with any location of your choosing.”
“Much appreciated, dear. I know an abandoned circus arena that is ideal for this.” He taps his cane to the ground, in contemplation.
“In fact… I think you might like it as much as I do.”
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It wasn’t the walk towards this “arena” that was agonizing.
But rather the wait she had to comply with if she wanted his participation. Nonetheless, he parts the curtains that cover the entrance, but she only crosses her arms and taps her foot. She was antsy, and his stare was questioning.
“You… won’t go first?”
“Why would I? You’re leading the way.” She replies in clear annoyance.
His gaze shifts to the entrance, trying not to be bothered about this as he makes his way inside. As soon as the Harlequin makes her way inside, spotlights let out a loud click as they all simultaneously turn on, all shining at the sand-filled arena slightly damaged by time… or something else entirely.
There’s a little prickling feeling that settles in her chest, and she can sense her core thrum in dissonance. But she doesn’t understand it, so naturally, she shrugs it off as if it never existed.
The Puppetmaster has had his back turned against her all this time. His head hung low, as if staring into the very ground. But she simply clutches at her sword with her left arm, the grip making a loud metallic clunk. He taps his cane to the ground, and it echoes throughout the tent despite the consistency of the very plane they stand on.
“Are you ready?” His voice, despite them being meters apart, is loud, bold and clear.
She grips her sword harder, unsheathing a little. Her right feet drags across the ground, an obvious stance of preparation before the action.
His eyes are hidden, depriving her of reading his full intent once he turns to face his opponent. Nonetheless, she squints, wordlessly giving him her answer.
The cane taps onto the ground yet again, and she rushes like a cobra. There’s a faint hum of voices in the background but she can’t decipher it.
Distractions.
That was all it is.
And a fighter does NOT get distracted.
She unsheathes the sword fully, ready to lunge as soon as she was close enough. A battle cry escapes her as she swings at the sudden cloud of dust that appeared in front of her.
“Slow.”
He easily avoids the swing, and she barely has a second to react at the speed of his movements, finding herself stumbling. Utterly confused, she quickly turns around to face where he had gone. He was now in the middle of the arena, side-eyeing her with interest that she interprets as complete mockery. 
She clutches the sword with both hands and another battle scream erupts from her. He grips at his cane harder, eyes once more hidden as his jaws snap shut in focus. She leaps into the air to bring down a hard slash, but his cane blocks her attempt, and it results in sparks flying from the exertion of force between both parties.
The Puppetmaster quickly ends this standstill by pushing her back, making her feet drag across the ground from the force by a mile.
“...Yet adept form.” He comments, squinting his eyes at her.
She wipes away at her face, just in case. Her posture straightens in confusion, but it is quickly taken over by anger. “YOU ASSHAT, STOP OBSERVING ME AND FIGHT!” a complain, but her expression changes to confusion once more as he disappears in a cloud of dust from her sight.
Where the FUCK did he go NOW?!
His form appears out of nowhere. Looming over. His eyes are devoid of pupils, and for a moment, she finds herself stuttering.
“H-HOLD ON W-WA-WAIT JUST A SECOND!”
There was no time for waiting in a duel of course, but it slipped from her mouth before she could even think about it fully. She could only assume that he was disorienting her, and it was working effectively.
His cane twirls on his hand, and he uses the other end of the metal rod to push her to bend backwards, just to avoid the flaring poke of electricity surging through the cane. There was no time for the Harlequin to get back up, and she cursed herself for making rookie mistakes, and proving his words right.
What was wrong with her today, of all days?
He sweeps her legs, knocking her off-balance down to the ground, but her athletic build allowed for a very quick recovery, and she was back to steadying her stance again.
“Fascinating. What an impressive reflex. You have a fast recovery.” 
The Puppetmaster seems to be taking notes of her actions, and it was then that she realizes he was simply toying with her.
“Maybe this could work… Hm.”
Her sword drops to the ground a loud clank, which forces his gaze to look up at her. But it was too late.
A very hard kick met his face and he barely had the reaction time for it. He could feel the blow produce a gust of wind as he flew to the old safety bleachers (much to it’s destruction), and a loud crack permeated the air as one of his teeth flew off and broke in half.
A heavy cloud of yellow dust hid him from the view of the fuming Harlequin.
He rises up, seemingly unaffected until he reaches to check at the loss of a denticle. A black substance covered his gloves’ fingertips. His gaze once more lands on the Harlequin, who is now emitting visible hot steam from her body, breathing heavily as her eyes shone brightly with the intent of murder.
“I’ve HAD it up to HERE, with your STUPID ANTICS!” She stepped a foot onto the ground, and the cement underneath the sand crumbled. The lights slowly flickered in response, and his eyes widens in alert.
Uh oh. This was not good. The fight needs to be ended as fast as possible now.
“I suppose I should’ve been paying more attention to a duel.” He clutches at his cane for support as he stands up undamaged (besides the lost tooth), but lets go of it as soon as it’s job is complete.
If she won’t possess a weapon, then it wouldn’t be right for him to possess his either.
Both of them rushed at each other in high feats of speed, and a small crater was created as a proof of the intensity of the hit. When the Harlequin would deliver a punch, a dense gust of wind would be produced as the Puppetmaster blocked each time.
There was now more steam emitting from her body, and the clock was ticking. He had no choice.
With a revenge kick to her torso that she blocks with both arms, he sends her flying to where she had previously dropped her sword, as he rushes to his own “weapon” of choice too. 
She grabbed at the sword and rushed.
He grabbed his cane and did the same.
The speed executed between both parties was unmatched, and a heavy cloud was produced for the last time in the middle of the arena as both fighters collided their weapons.
Their gazes were intense, the Harlequin smiling when she pointed her sword directly at his core. But the blue light emitting from the Puppetmaster’s cane made her look down to where it was pointed.
It was also at her core.
Satisfied with the way the Harlequin stopped fighting out of slight confusion, he opts to explain the current situation.
“Now, you can pry open my core and deactivate me just as easily,” he starts. “... But if you so much as move the required centimeter to do so, the tip of my cane will touch your core which will shock your heart with the amount of electricity that can power 5 large cities.”
Her eyes widened.
“We’re both made of metal. How the fuck are you going to defend yourself from this?!”
“I won’t.”
It was a simple statement that made the Harlequin realize what he’s doing. “Do you have a shitty death wish or something? That’s crazy! There’s no way you can produce that much charge either, you’re just fucking bluffing!”
“Am I, now?” There was not a hint of humor nor sarcasm in his tone. He was dead serious.
She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t fucking believe it.
“We’re at a stalemate, dear.” She gripped the handle of her sword with much intensity, baring her teeth in frustration and denial.
“This fight is over.” He proclaims no winners, and the Harlequin begins to kick the remaining sand in the arena all around, throwing a temper tantrum.
“NO!” She shouted while gripping at her head, uncaring of the noise. “NO, NO, NO! THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY! YOU CHEATED YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS, YOU-” Her joints stopped responding to her actions, and she finds herself kneeling onto the ground. Horror filled her entire system as she tried to decipher what’s happening, but before she knew it, All she could see now was the tattered, faded yellow-red stripes of the tent ceiling.
And then the view of his stupid dentures face came into her sight, and he was back to observing her again.
“You’re still functional, are you?”
“UNFORTUNATELY.” She grit her teeth.
“Hm.” An acknowledgement.
She could hear the way he takes a seat onto the ground beside her.
“You’re quite an odd one.”
“CAN YOU STOP TALKING.”
“Hm….” He contemplates. “No, I don’t think I will~.” There’s a smug pitch in his tone (that would’ve made a vein pop somewhere in her head if she was organic). “You’re the first sane Puppet I’ve talked to in a long while.”
… Was this somehow some kind of cruel punishment?
“Just let your body cool down and re-adjust for now. You really pushed yourself back there.” She couldn’t exactly tell what he was doing, but if the slightly muffled way of speaking was any indication, she could only assume he was checking his now missing tooth.
But that wasn’t what grabbed the Harlequin’s attention. Rather, she was slightly intrigued about how he knows what’s happened to her, when she didn’t.
“What are you even talking about? What’s happened to me?” She asked, temper slowly subsiding, although irritation was still present.
“What’s happened is that you accidentally began to overcharge yourself.” He was more than glad to explain. “Your body couldn’t keep up with the amount of energy spent, and now here you are, lying down on the ground.” He taps at the sand above her head with the golden sphere of his cane. “You also nearly overheated that you could’ve exploded your core. But you can’t feel that, can you?”
She sighs. “Of course I fucking don’t. I’m a Puppet. I don’t feel things, I just do things. At least that’s what I think I should be doing.”
There was a moment of silence between them, one that the Harlequin was more than glad to have. But almost as if being mocked by timing, this quiet was broken by the voice of Puppetmaster once more.
“What’s your directive.”
“Fight SOMETHING, I guess.”
“No.”
“What?”
“Tell me your FULL directive. I don’t want a summarized version.”
She sighs again. “FIND— FIGHT— PROTECT—- CITY—- FROM HARM.” There was a slight pause and a bit of glitching in her voice when she recited the blanks.
“…Well, I must say, this is quite the predicament.”
“Can you stop being so fucking cryptic and just tell me?!”
“... You’re broken.”
“EXCUSE ME?”
“An incomplete line of command. It’s making you act on your own." He explains. "For shorter terms, you’re a loose cannon.” He mutters something else under his breath that the Harlequin couldn’t hear, and for a moment, there’s an unreadable tone with his delivery that she can’t decipher.
“Wha… what the hell does any of that mumbo jumbo even mean…” She would drag her hand across her face if she could right about now.
“Say, how would you feel about an alliance?”
“I feel like punching another one of your teeth out, that’s for sure.”
“I’m flattered, but also serious. You and I are quite possibly the only Puppets left sane here in this world. And I have an idea that I can only really do with YOUR help.”
“I’m not fucking interested in your passion project.”
“Your purpose seems to say otherwise.”
Her brow creases. “What, are you gonna say it involves fighting something?”
“Not just that. It’s also to protect this city from further harm.” Now that got her attention. She’s cautious, but in all honesty, also intrigued.
“We can discuss this even further once you’re all good to go. But for now…” He trails off as he stands up, and she can finally move a little bit of her joints on her fingers. Her body was seemingly cooling down to allow slight movements again.
“My name is Caine. Do you have a name?” For a moment, she senses a foreign bit of deja vu.
“... Just the code on my shoulder.”
“What is it?”
“P-1210.”
“Well, I can’t be calling you that. How about a proper one?”
“Whatever knocks your socks off, I guess.”
“ ‘Pomni’. What about ‘Pomni’. ”
There’s a response at her core that she couldn’t fully understand. But it seems that it wants her to agree.
“... Sure, I-I…I guess.”
“Pomni it is.”
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igotanidea · 7 months ago
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Somebody's watching me : AK!Jason x reader
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Request: AK! jason hears y/n’s name from his opponent and just goes nuts like he goes home looking for her.
A/N : the requests is a little twisted, as usual, but I hope you'll still like it anon :D
***
It was gone.
His old life was gone.
And with it, everyone he knew before.
All that was left was revenge, hate, rage. And this unstoppable need for killing someone, destroy something, wreck havoc on every single person who did him any wrong.
Bruce.
Fucking Batman.
He was the Arkham Knight now.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Focused on building his position so that no one, no fucking one, would ever hold any power over him.
And if that meant keeping tabs on everyone under his watchful gaze so be it.
And if that meant putting some pressure on everyone who dared to do as much as step a toe over the line, so be it.
And disturbances?
Defnitely not something he was about to allow.
And now he was holding a gun to one of his goons head.
"What did you do?" he hissed, his voice distorted by the helmet
"Sir, I --"
"What did you do?" Jason repeated pressing the metal more into man's head.
"I-- I disobeyed--"
"You disobeyed. And do you know what happens to people who disobey me?"
"Sir, please this is--"
Jason shot in the air and the man almost fell to his feet.
"It was-"
"I'm not going to give a warning shot again"
"I was-"
"I'm gonna count to three now. One."
"There's this girl."
"Two."
"Her name is Y/N."
"thr-- what?"
"She is very distant family, but --"
"Shut up!" Jason yelled, his face twisted with rage, not that anyone could see his expression hidden under the metal. "Shut the fuck up you hear me!" it took him two steps to be in front of the man, yanking him up by the collar and pinning to the wall with brutal force, half-chocking him "you ever do as much as think her name again and I'll kill you and put your head on a stick as a warning to anyone who dare have a thought of himself. YOU HEAR ME!?"
"y-ye-yes..."
"now get the fuck out of here!" the man was violently thrown on the floor, getting up as fast as he could and rushing out the door. It was truly a miracle he lived to tell the tale, cause Arkham Knight was not known for his leniency.
But Y/N.
Someone from his past.
More than someone.
A girl, a woman, he was once in love with.
A woman, whose name he forgot in the pursuit after Batman.
Or rather - tried to forget.
She was the only one who ever got him. The only one to accept him fully, with all his flaws.
His Y/N.
His Y/N who betrayed him just like anyone else. Who forgot him. Who moved on without giving as much as a single thought to him when he was lost. Who was never looking for him.
His Y/N.
It;s been years since he heard anyone mention her. Years since he swore to never get manipulated again.
And then.
Just a few letters mixed together. Just a few sounds.
And she was right behind his eyes, just like he remembered her. Because even his dark side refused to let go of the rememberance of their time together.
Her laugh. Her smile. Her eyes and freckles from the sun, as fleeting as the summer days they were spending together. Her calmness, care and tenderness when she was patching up his woudns, tiredlessly putting on bandaids and stitches.
Fuck!
He didn't need that.
Just another phase of brainwashing. If not from his capturers than from his own men.
Hell no.
He was going to say no to the past life once and for all.
Hunting her down, wherever she may be.
See her for the last time.
Pour hatred in his heart, destroying all the remaining piece of useless softness and caring he carried in his soul.
Burn the last link connecting him to the past down.
***
She was spending the night in her old apartment. Sitting by the same desk, with the same lamp, in the same posture she ever did.
One leg half bent and folded under her ass, the other hanging loose in the air.
"You're going to end up with numbness..." he muttered to himself, watching her from the opposite rooftop.
Obviously she couldn;t hear him, but something made her raise her head and look outside the window while simultaniously changing the position.
Jason smiled despite himself.
His heart skipped a beat and sudden warmth spread in his chest.
Only for a second though, since he rememembered why he was here in the first place.
Look at her.
So fucking good.
So fucking calm and happy, while he-
fuck!
traitorous bitch.
Maybe it was her plan from the very beggining. Conspiring with Batman only to get rid of him, so they could both be free of the burdening presence of a man once known as Jason Todd.
Y/N...
Regardless of how sweet her name may have tasted on his tongue he would rather cut it off than fall down that rabit hole again.
He was cold as ice. Brutal. Cruel. Ruthless.
And it was not going to change because he saw her.
Not in the million years.
She was the reason of his fallout. She should have stopped him from going on that stupid mission. She should have made him stay, showed him she cared enough to keep him grounded.
It was all her fault that that after being captured all he could think about was how she was going to survive without him. How her heart would break into million pieces, instead of figuring out a way to free himself.
It was all her fault that he became the Arkham Knight. Cause inhumanity was equal with survival. And survival meant living. And living meant keeping his legacy.
So yes, he hated her.
He hated her, because every single thing he did and every little thing done to him was because and thanks to her.
She was the reason of him getting on top, but also the person responsible for his failure as a person.
She was nothing.
She was everything.
And for the first time since capturing, torturing and tranformation Jason felt conflicted.
Y/N...
His Y/N...
Not his anymore...
***
When some force made her stand up and come to window all she saw was a blink of metal on the rooftop. And since she spend half of her life with vigilantes, it was easy to realise that this must have been one of them.
But the silhouette of a running man couldn;t have been Dick nor Tim nor any other hero she would recognise.
And despite herself, she felt a shiver running down her spine.
Someone was watching her.
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bouquetface · 6 months ago
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TAROT: Gossip on you
As always, I will be detailed. This won’t be for everyone who comes across it.
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one.
General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.
I think these people may be family members. They seem very concerned with your direction in life. When will you get married? When will you have kids? And a lot of questions about career. You might be unemployed because it seems someone here is expressing you don’t do enough. However, you probably work very hard. Even if you are unemployed, you likely are applying for jobs. And making good use of your free time. Especially physically, you may work out or walk/run a lot.
They still see this as useless. It seems your values are different from theirs. They may see you working out & going for walks and roll their eyes.
Logically, it makes no sense why this upsets them so much. They seem very bothered by you having your own hobbies/interests. They feel it’s all a waste of time.
I’m assuming your family may be traditional. And they let their expectations for you be known very loudly. You probably grew up constantly being told to fix yourself. Go fix your hair, go change your outfit, etc. You may not even care much for their opinions. Their opinions roll off your shoulder. But they are so loud and consistent in their comments. It’s very frustrating and has probably affected you more than you’re aware. You are likely in a place in life where you can’t even dwell on that. It seems you have a lot of work that needs to be done. Even if that work is looking for work. It’s difficult and exhausting. Wishing you the best of luck, pile 1.
two.
General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.
Someone is talking shit about you. It’s exactly who you would expect. For some it’s an ex lover, for other’s it’s an ex friend. They’ve convinced themselves they did nothing wrong to you. Your reaction was “crazy”. You “changed” for the worse. And they secretly hope you get your karma.
It’s like they have selective memory. They can only remember your reaction to their actions. They can’t remember/acknowledge their actions that got you to react that way. Whoever they’re talking with, is eating up everything they’re saying. You barely know this other person, if at all. It could be their close friend that never was close with you. This friend is loving the drama. They’re going to take this information and spread it to their friends. For them it’s entertainment, they don’t even care about your ex as much as you did.
I almost feel sorry for your ex friend or lover. They have no clue about the person they’re confiding in. It seems karma will get them through this friend. This friend just loves drama and gossip. Give it a few months and they’ll be trashing your ex just like they’re doing you now.
But right now, unfortunately, the two are bonding over tearing you down. I’m hearing this friend say shit like “I hope she gets hit by a car” “I would’ve punched her in the face”. It’s sooo funny to them. Literally witches cackling. They may have given you a rude nickname. In their group chat, they may only refer to you as this name. And someone has definitely called you a “cunt”. Just nasty shit. Sorry pile 2.
On the bright side, I believe for most of you this person is out your life. This seems to be why they’re so hurt. They don’t have the same access to you. Talking about you and checking your socials is the only way they can connect with you now. And ironically, they’re calling you a “stalker”. They’re convinced you’re checking their tiktok and ig religiously.
You might have ghosted them. To you it might be obvious how they fucked up, but they’re in denial. They see themselves as a victim of you.
three.
General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.
Some of the gossip about you isn’t bad at all. You look like you’re doing well in life. You could drive a nice vehicle or people feel you’re just blessed to have a vehicle at all. You have likely done something recently that has people thinking you’re doing well financially. A few comments have been made about this. Doesn’t seem negative though. Just people stating “she’s doing good/ she’s good”.
Now, for someone very specific. The gossip seems to be you’re lying about doing badly when you’re actually fine. It could be work place gossip. Maybe you took some days off but someone here doubts you’re actually that sick. Someone seems fed up in your workplace. It may not even have to do with only you. Lots of stress and irritation from this person. Physically, they may be kinda tall and blonde.
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talaok · 2 years ago
Text
A little favor
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Pairing: Joel Miller x fem! reader
summary: You fucked up a trade and want to make it up to Joel
warnings: smut | dub-con, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected p in v sex, virginity loss, daddy kink, a touch of dacryphilia, dumbification, and a bit self insert
"I'm sorry" you sobbed "I'm so sorry Joel, I swear I didn't see them and when I did it was too late and- and I'm sorry I didn't run in sooner" you were out of breath "I'm so sorry"
Your face was drenched with your own tears, even the sleeves of your shirt were in similar shape.
You had fucked up
Once again, one might add, but that's not the point.
You were supposed to keep guard as he traded some things, you didn't really know what, he never told you what, or anything really.
He just brought you with him and stuck you outside to look out for FEDRA people.
That's how it had been for the past month,
And this time,
it went wrong.
The FEDRA people had in fact come, and you hadn't noticed them until they were practically in front of you.
It was a miracle you had gotten out of there alive
as for the other guy, the guy Joel was trading with... well, he hadn't been so lucky.
And so now here you were, sobbing on his - your- bed, because you had made a mess again, and he had to clean it up.
"I'm sorry"
God, did you never get tired of saying that?
"y/n" his deep voice interrupted your sobs
You looked up at him, or at what you could make out of him from the glassy fog your eyes had become.
"It's fine sweetheart" he raised your chin, settling in front of you.
Another tear escaped your eyes, and you sniffled
"but-" you bit your trembling lip "I was stupid- I was- I was inattentive"
"you should be mad" your voice cracked
But you knew he never did, get mad, and if he did, he certainly didn't let you see it.
You had no idea why, or how, all the men in your life before him (which were just two, your father and your ex-boyfriend) would get mad at the littlest thing, from you spilling some water on the precious - worthless-coffee table to you not understanding something as quickly as they wanted you to.
You weren't the smartest of the bunch, never were.
"at least she's pretty"
that's what everyone always said,
at least she's pretty,
at least she's not gonna realize you're insulting her even when you do it right in front of her, she's not gonna be an engineer but at least she's gonna find a man to take care of her.
"men don't like it when women are smarter than them anyway"
Every single phrase, every word was engraved in your brain,
in your tiny little brain, a mantra you repeated over and over, until inevitably, it became the truth.
It still amazed you how diffrent he was though,
You expected it, at this point, to be called stupid and worthless for the tinies mistake, but he had never as much as raised his voice.
He had never called you names,
he had never laughed at you, or made fun of you, or treated you like you were used to, like you were supposed to.
"I'm not mad"
"why?"
"it was a mistake" he shrugged "it happens"
"it happens a lot to me tough"
"well that's fine" his voice was warm "everyone's diffrent"
You still couldn't wrap your head around it "why are you so nice to me?"
He smiled "I like you"
"b-but I'm-" you avoided his glare "I'm-" you didn't even know how to say it,
how to describe how useless you actually were
"Baby it's fine" his thumb stoaked your cheek.
"what about the cargo?" you asked, raising your head again
"We lost it"
"I'm so sorry" another sob "it's my fault"
The room fell silent
"Can I do anything?"
You saw something happen behind his eyes
"really" you urged " Is there anything I can do to make up for it?"
"I can look for other contraband" you suggested even though both of you knew you had no absolute idea where to look for it "I can-" you were already out of ideas "I can cook dinner"
God that was stupid
He smiled and you wanted nothing more than to be invisible.
"Please tell me what I can do" other tears fled your eyes
"Please daddy"
Shit
You instinctively covered your mouth
You didn't mean to, it had just come out.
You were scared to look up at him, to see the amused grin he would have on his face as he made fun of you in his mind,
but as you wiped the tears off your face, glancing up at him, the only thing you did see, were his eyes darker than you'd ever seen them before.
"I'm sorry" you whispered "I didn't mean to-"
"don't apologize"
"b-but-"
"There is something you could do" his thumb was tracing your jawline as your eyes sparked with excitement
"Really?"
His lips twitched into a grin
"What?"
"well" he was looking at you differently than before "you could do me a little favor"
"anything" you immediately answered, making him chuckle.
"it's more of a personal one" he explained, moving some hair out of your face "more... physical"
You frowned, confused, and he took one of your hands to slowly place it on his crotch.
Oh
"I've never- I've never done that before"
"I can teach you"
You looked up at him, your big eyes hiding under your lashes.
You really wanted to make up for your mistake.
"ok" you murmured
"good girl" he said, as a strange heat pooled between your legs "undo my belt" he ordered, and you looked at him hesitantly before obliging, your nervous fingers fumbling with the buckle for a moment before you were able to undo it.
You looked up at him for approval and he only nodded, urging you to keep going.
So you did, you undid his zipper and slowly pulled his pants down.
Something hard was straining against his boxers, you could see the tent that had formed.
"Don't be scared sweetheart" he reassured you, and you gulped as you timidly pulled his underwear down.
Oh wow
It was big,
not that you had any means of comparison but it definitely looked big.
He must have noticed your eyes widening because he said "don't worry baby, I'll go slow"
You nodded, hesitantly taking it in your hands
"w-what do I do?" you asked, looking up at him, and you felt his member twitch in your palms.
"oh baby you're so precious" he groaned, and you genuinely didn't know if it was a compliment or not.
"you just have to open your mouth,"
You did it
"just like that baby, perfect" he praised
"and put it in"
You looked at his threatening dick and then at him, fear clear in your iris.
How was all that gonna fit?
"It's gonna fit" he read your mind "don't you trust me?"
You did.
You trusted him more than anyone.
And so you did it, you widened your mouth even more, and took him in, looking at him questioningly once your lips were wrapped on not even half of his shaft.
He groaned nonetheless "that's good baby, you can move now"
You did, you started experimentally bobbing your head up and down, and according to his heavy breathing, you seemed to be doing a fairly good job.
"hollow your cheeks for me baby"
You obeyed and were rewarded with a loud groan
You looked up at him, your eyes evidently asking -is this good?-
“That’s good” he breathed, his hand going to the back of your head “that’s good baby, keep going”
The room filled with a lewd noise as your lips and chin soaked with saliva.
You forced yourself to take more of him in, but your jaw was begging you to stop.
You tried to lean away but his hand didn’t let you.
“Go deeper baby”
You peeked at him worryingly
“You can do it, sweetheart”
“Don’t you wanna make it up to daddy?”
You hummed in agreement around his cock,
of course you did.
"then be good and choke on it"
you could feel your heart beating in your ears, but you ignored it as you did what he said, taking all of him in, until his tip hit the back of your throat, making you gag softly.
A tear fled your eye, but this time it wasn't because of an emotion, it wasn't fear or patheticness, no, it was just reflexes, and for once, you liked it.
"that's it" he breathed "that's my good girl" he said, and you found yourself involuntarily rubbing your thighs together, desperate for some friction.
"fuck- that's it baby" he hissed as you kept moving your head, careful of every movement "that's it- keep going"
" 'knew you could take all of me baby" his fingers grazed your chin, as his eyes somehow darkened some more "do you think you could take daddy inside of you?"
His hand left your head and you leaned away
"inside?"
wasn't this already inside?
He seemed pretty inside to you.
"yes baby inside"
he leaned down to get closer to your face.
His fingers found your bare thighs, and danced until they were at the hem of your skirt
"do you think you could take me in your pretty pussy?" he explained better, and your mouth gaped open in surprise,
the real surprise was that your jaw was still able to do that after all that work.
"but-"
"be a good girl for daddy" you felt his digits get under your skirt as he breathed against your mouth "it's just a small favor"
"I've never-"
"I know baby" he pushed you onto the bed "But don't worry, I'll take care of everything" he promised, crawling on top of you "I'll take care of you"
he kissed your neck, a whimper fleeing your mouth "I'll make you feel really good" his quick hands freed you of your shirt and bra before you could even register it, and just after a few moments there went also your skirt and panties.
He hissed as he took you in.
"You've got such a pretty body sweetheart," he said as he kissed it all over "wish I could just stare at it all day" it tickled when he kissed your belly "touch it all day" he murmured against your skin "fuck it all day"
You whimpered as his mouth got inches from when you needed it the most, but he leaned away, taking off his own shirt and stepping out of his pants.
"so pretty" he mumbled as he used your legs to bring you closer to the edge of the bed.
He spit onto your cunt and you hissed, the cold sensation taking you by surprise.
His finger slipped between your folds, coating his digits with your liquids.
He groaned "such a pretty pussy baby"
"here" he drew his finger towards your mouth "taste yourself"
You could feel your cheeks color, but you did it nonetheless, tasting yourself around his finger.
He grinned at the sight "good girl" he hissed as he retracted his finger, and used the hand instead to position his dick at your entrance.
"stay still baby" he grabbed your hip, and you froze.
You could feel his tip graze at your entrance and it both excited you and terrified you.
You shut your eyes, biting your lip, bracing yourself for the inevitable pain.
"no look at me baby" he urged "keep those pretty eyes on me when I'm inside you"
"o-ok" you whispered, and he smiled
"god you're such a good girl" he said, as finally, he pushed himself in, or better, his tip in, and as you felt like a volcano had just erupted inside your body, you winced loudly in pain.
"I know baby" he cooed
no, you don't
You felt a tear travel from the corner of your eyes down to your temple.
He kept going, making you gasp in pain again, your hand gripping the sheets.
"It's-It's too big daddy" you cried out
"no it's not" he didn't give your pleads importance as he kept going, slowly but surely "You can do it, baby"
"I- I can't"
"yes you can" he stated "be a good girl and take it all for daddy"
"b-but it hurts" another tear
"it's gonna feel better after" he promised "trust me"
"daddy" your voice cracked as a sob came through
"come on sweetheart you almost did it"
" 's too much" you cried
"sh- sh- sh" he shushed you wiping some tears off your face " do it for me baby " he said, "you said you wanted to make it up to me"
"I-I do"
"then do" he cocked an eyebrow, and you nodded, sniffling.
"good girl" he praised, as he took your waist and with one harsh move, thrust fully into you.
"see" he admired his cock so deep inside of you "knew you could do it" he smiled at you before retracting his hips, briefly noticing the blood on his dick, and then slamming it back in.
"oh my god" you moaned
"fuck" he grunted " got such a tight pussy baby," he said, developing a rhythm as weak shocks of pain mixed with overwhelming ones of pleasure.
"knew it would be good" he kept talking through labored breaths "just like you sweetheart" he grabbed your hips more harshly as he slammed into you mercilessly now "always so obedient" he purred " so good for me"
"knew you'd take me well"
"knew you'd have such a perfect little pussy"
He bent down and to your surprise, he kissed you, messily and sloppily, but heavenly nonetheless.
"daddy" you whimpered, your back arching against the bed
"It's like it was made for me" he grunted " just designed to have only me in it" he hissed "to be mine"
"is it mine baby?"
"y-yes" you nodded, all the pleasure fogging your brain "it's yours, daddy- all yours"
He kissed you again "and what about you?" he asked, his hips still working like it was his life-long duty to slip you in fucking half "are you mine, sweetheart?"
"yes" you whined
"You're my good girl?" his hand found your clit and you gasped, a breath getting stuck in your throat "you'll do anything I want you to?" he asked, "when I want you to do it?"
"yes daddy-yes"
"that's my girl" he smirked, as you felt a weird pressure form in your stomach.
"so if I tell you that I wanna come inside you're gonna let me right?" he asked breathlessly "because you're my good little girl and I can do anything I want with you?"
"mh-mh" you nodded mindlessly
"that's right baby," he said "I can feel you're coming"
"your pretty walls are squeezing me"
"do you wanna come?"
"yes!" you moaned "yes please daddy "
He crashed his lips with yours "then come all around me sweetheart"
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milaisreading · 7 months ago
Text
Wedding day
Pairing: Itoshi Sae x Isagi's sister!Reader
Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open
⚽️Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️
"Can you please calm down, sis? Everything will be fine." Yoichi said as he walked around the room after his sister. The older Isagi was panicking a little as she thought more and more about the whole wedding that was supposed to happen in an hour.
"You think?! Yoichi, what if I am not good enough? Sae is a literal football star and I am just-"
"The best sister and future wife. Exactly!" Yoichi quickly chimed in, annoyed that she had let the recent gossip on the internet get to her. While he did have sympathy for her, marrying a high profiled person lime Sae Itoshi wasn't nothing, he was also mad that she was doubting her own worth.
"Yoichi... You of all people know how the news are. They will nitpick on the most smallest things about me." (Y/n) sighed as she went over to sit on a chair in the room, Yoichi following close behind.
"What if they are right about me not being the one for Sae?"
"That's ridiculous! He loves you!" Yoichi argued again, but he knew it was useless. He wasn't Sae. The one whose opinion mattered the most right now.
"I don't know... What if I am just hindering him? There are so many better options than I am. Did you see all those models from Madrid who talk about him? What if I am not the one?"
(Y/n) held back a few sobs as Yoichi went to comfort her. He would be lying if he said he didn't expect the news to make such a huge deal out of the wedding. He did. But, seeing the state his sister was in just broke Yoichi. She didn't deserve all this stress now. Nor did Sae deserve to be doubted.
And, while Yoichi was comforting (Y/n), he didn't notice Rin peek into the room and catching some of the conversation the were having, and catching the distressed state (Y/n) was in.
'Shit!' The younger Itoshi thought as he slowly closed the door. He didn't expect to walk into all of that. While Sae was on cloud nine in his room, (Y/n) was over here distressed over some gossip.
'Wait? What gossip? Big brother never mentioned anything about that.' Rin wondered as he took his phone out to search for anything that remotely could mention either Sae or the wedding.
Meanwhile...
Sae was happily drinking the water Rin brought him earlier. The older Itoshi never expected to be excited over anything like a wedding. Well, he never saw himself marry anyone until he met (Y/n). The love of his life.
'Ahhh~ I am all excited for our future. I can't wait for us to finally tie the knot. Maybe even a few kids down the line, but that can wait for another few years. For now, I just want to enjoy my time alone with her.' Sae smiled softly and blushed, not hearing the footsteps approaching his room.
'My sweet (Y/n). She is so clumsy and cute. So adorable and always kind to me and others. I am so lucky to have found-'
"Big brother!"
Sae snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at the door as Rin walked in, looking oddly nervous.
"What's up with you? You are more nervous than I am." Sae joked but Rin ignored him as he kept on glancing between his phone and the older.
"Well..."
"Anyway, how is (Y/n) doing? How does she look? Bet as stunning as ever. She is so adorable."
Sae went on a ramble and Rin knew he had to cut it out now before he went into an endless loop with it.
"I... There is something you need to see, and I think you won't like it."
Sae stopped and raised an eyebrow at Rin.
"What do you mean?"
"It's about (Y/n). You didn't read any of the news some of the Spanish and Japanese media reported?"
"No. Why would I? They mostly say dumb stuff, anyway."
"It might be dumb, but the stuff nearly has (Y/n) crying right now."
Sae froze up for a moment and quickly took the phone away from Rin.
The younger Itoshi was used to seeing a lot of emotions on Sae, but anger, genuine anger was not one of them. The more Sae read through the articles Rin had found, the redder his face became and the more his eyebrows furrowed.
'I would pray for the reporters, but they deserve whatever happens next.' Rin thought as an eerie silence took over.
----
Once Yoichi had left the room to let his sister cool down, (Y/n) had finally realized how ridiculous it was that she was crying about these things. After all, if Sae really didn't want her, he wouldn't have asked to marry her. Right?
'I need to have more faith in him, and also be less sensitive.' She thought as she put down her phone, not noticing Sae walk inside.
"Why didn't you tell me about those articles?"
(Y/n) yelped , and turned around to see Sae walk into the room and towards her.
"Sae! You shouldn't see me before-"
"I don't care. Rin said you were distressed over what those journalists were saying. Why didn't you tell me about it?"
For the first time since they started their relationship, (Y/n) was left speechless by the anger Sae was radiating. Sure, she was used to him being angry over what Shidou would say at times, or even when he would lose a game. But, this was a different type of anger. It was more genuine than the previous ones.
"Why?" Sae's voice got softer as he grapped her hands into his, causing (Y/n) to turn red a little.
"I thought it was stupid to bother you with that. It's just me being sensitive-"
"It's not. The stuff those idiots said about you is disgusting, and I will put an end to it on my next interview." (Y/n) raised an eyebrow as Sae pulled her in closer.
"I thought you don't have one yet."
"I asked my manager the schedule me one after our honeymoon. As much as I hate going on these, this is a different circumstance."
"Oh? Thank you." (Y/n) said as she grew flustered, causing Sae to finally smile again and chuckle a little.
"Don't thank me for stuff like this. And, have a little more faith in me. I have my eyes only set on you."
"You are right, I an sorry. I know you do."
She smiled as the door opened again, revealing Sae and (Y/n)'s moms.
"Sar Itoshi! What did I say about seeing (Y/n) before the wedding?! And why did you make Rin guard the entrance?" Sae flinched at his mom's yelling as Rin could be heard apologizing to him from behind her. (Y/n) laughed a little as her mom tried to calm the other woman down, finding the whole situation equally amusing.
"Well, today is an eventful day." (Y/n) laughed, and Sae smiled at her.
'At least you calmed down.'
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lovifie · 8 months ago
Note
Newdad!Ghost and Newmom! Reader having their child’s first fever…
I did ramble a bit about this before having the baby, I hope you don't mind ❤️ Also, I have no experience with babies so I hope I didn't write anything completely nonsense
Fluff | 1076 words | Back to Masterlist
Simon Riley thought that he was no longer a coward.
That the years spent in the military were enough to make him a brave man.
That there was nothing left to make him stutter on his words or feel his knees wobble.
That's what he thought though.
Because ever since the second you came out of the bathroom, positive pregnancy test on hand; he's been terrified, elated but terrified.
Terrified of something bad happening, to you, to the baby, to him... The thought of leaving you alone terrified him the worst.
But nothing happened.
You were already in the last trimester, almost past your due date and everything was perfect.
Whenever you saw the nerves getting the best of Simon you jumped to console him, reassuring him everything would be fine.
He felt horrible, he should be the one taking care of you, not the other way around. So plush and round with his offspring, the baby already sucking your energy.
"Big fucking bairn." As Soap once called it before getting smacked on the back of the head.
It was true, nonetheless, but still.
It was one day, when he saw you wobbling your way to the kitchen that it finally set on his mind.
He was about to be a father.
And fuck if he wasn't going to be the best one out there.
Now that it was the third trimester he could finally put in his parental leave, going home to you and helping with everything.
He finally got to building the crib, fixing the leaky faucet, changing the clothes in the closet for the winter one.
Everything was ready.
He wasn't, of course; when the contractions finally started. And he panicked when you said it was too early to go to the hospital.
5:40. That was the rule you keep repeating.
40 seconds contraction, every 5 minutes.
But he still struggled to stay strong whenever you would groan, holding onto the sink to steady yourself to breathe.
Once he finally managed to get you to the hospital, everything became a blur. He barely managed to send your family a message about the baby coming, and when he went to notify his family, he simply sent Price a message that said: "Baby now. Hospital."
Everything went smoothly, pride overflowing from his heart whenever he would look at you. He was hypnotized by the baby; looking so much like you but his features still looking back at him.
He kissed your forehead, thanking you for reviving Simon Riley. The man he buried so long ago, now rebirth as your daughter's dad.
He could feel people coming in and out of the room but completely ignored them, too busy staring at you and the baby.
Gaz even made you laugh, talking about how he thought pregnancy brain only happened to moms and that he thought Simon must have hit his head on the way in.
The look of unfiltered fear on the four men when the newborn started fussing around from the crib made you laugh. They quickly turned to see what the threat was, only for the baby to start crying at the top of her tiny lungs making the four men jump.
"She must be hungry." You say, leaning forward and looking at Simon. "Can you hand her to me, Si?"
He immediately did, holding the tiny baby with all the care the mountain of a man could muster. Passing her to you, and turning to the men talking about decency and giving you privacy.
They walked out, Price dropping a kiss on your head congratulating you once more on the job well done, leaving you, Simon and the baby.
The three of you.
His tiny family.
That he would kill and die in order to protect.
So he found himself useless, looking at you trying to calm the baby down when she wouldn't stop crying and her fever would keep rising.
He was at the door frame, seeing you pace the room, cleaning the baby's face with a damp cloth. He could see it on your face, the worry, the exhaustion, the fear... How have you hidden it so well? How has he not seen it before?
"She's over 39°, Si." You say, voice trembling with the knot in your throat.
"Let's go to the hospital." He said, grabbing the baby bag and your coat, and opening the door. He could see your doubt, the fear of what taking the baby back to the hospital meant for you. "C'mon, mama. The sooner we get there, the sooner we'll be back."
He needed to be strong right now, he has laid back for long enough. He saw the little cracks on you and he was going to fill them before you noticed them.
Simon Riley thought he was brave.
But he has never been as afraid as when he was driving, baby in the car seat and you sitting beside him in the back. Silent tears sliding down your face as you apologised to the crying baby.
It made him want to skip every red light, get there as soon as possible, so the doctors could tell you that you made the right choice, that you did a good job.
But he would rather relive his nightmare of a life a thousand times before doing such a stupid thing of putting you both at risk.
He sees the way you hug yourself when the nurse takes the baby away, and he quickly engulfs you in a hug. Protecting you from the cold of the night, protecting you from every danger outside and protecting you from every thought inside your brain.
"Everything is going to be alright, mama." He says, kissing your head. Heart sinking when he hears you sob and hug him back. "Everything will be alright, this happens, babies get sick sometimes. It doesn't mean you aren't doing a hell of a job, alright?"
You sob on his chest, tugging his shirt on your hands.
"You are an amazing mother, love. You are doing an amazing job. Our little tadpole has the best mom in the world." He says, swinging softly side to side, rocking you, petting your head. "She'll be fine. She's brave just like you, love. She'll be fine. We'll be fine."
Because Simon Riley always thought he was brave, but as long as you two were alive; he was a coward and losing you both was his biggest fear.
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san8ny · 5 months ago
Text
STILL GOT IT !
?: While you continue reign over your niche internet kingdom, Ellie finds herself consumed with thoughts of you, you and you! So much so, her fans are staring to notice. Joining your livestream, which she’s been trying to abstain from, you quickly remind her on why you’re so addictive in the first place! / E.W / 18+
!: too lazy to write all warnings but pretty tame when it comes to smut. s
Her heart initially falls to her ass when she sees the plethora of comments underneath her latest video, usual adornment of little heart emojis which now turned into discussions of twitter threads. How had a clipping of her rubbing herself inside a public bathroom stall, the usual shtick before she clocks into a boring 9-5– garner this much negativity? What changed?
“Eh, you don’t seem as passionate after the collab tbhhh”
“lost her touch lmfao”
“does this mean we get another video with you and—
She shuts the laptop closed, unable to further stomach her unsatisfied audience with thoughts running rampant in her mind.
Lost..her touch?
Surely these comments were satirical and just baiting her for another video with you, right? I mean, it’s not like she hasn’t gotten hate comments before, though rare for a small homemade creator like herself, but that was besides the point!
it irked her.
Since when has Ellie ever needed anyone for a platform she grew and built, huh? So what if you had given her the best fucking of her life? Genuinely, what about it? It’s not like she goes to sleep with you on her mind, just to awaken the next morning with her pajama bottoms absolutely drenched because she had the most delicious wet dream about you! That’d be crazy..
She rubs her temples a bit to soothe the pounding of her head, she needed a quick fix to this issue and fast! Opening the device back up, she seeks answers.
⌕ [“How do I get horny again without looking at the hot girl who had sex with me’s page?”]
Holding her breath, she types into the search bar. They do say google holds all the answers.
aaaand..nothing.
God, maybe she was dealing with an original experience? 8 Billion people and all useless.
What if you’ve ruined her to the brink of no-return? She can’t even orgasm anymore on her page without watching you, which makes the climaxes lackluster. She can never go back after you’ve given her a taste of the real thing.
That night, she props her laptop up with you pulled up on the screen. You’re wearing a pretty lingerie set, too pretty of one Ellie thinks. It’s the little fancy-pancy one’s you had in your closet that night you graciously let her stay over. Post-nut delirium, but Ellie could still see you liked lace alot, it being the main choice of material inhabiting your wardrobe.
Hot.
Her eyes scower the screen as donations roll in and as per usual, you thank the viewers with a pristine smile, like you didn’t turn Ellie back into a fuckin’ virgin.
She hasn’t been on one of your streams in a while actually, too caught up with work but now, she really remembers why she use to.
You were a guilty pleasure. Addictive, and Ellie didn’t even have a knack for sweets; you just always managed to pollute her head with the most vile of scenarios she could envision recreating with you and fuck, did she hate herself for it— hated herself for becoming so obsessed with someone who only saw her as a collaborater, a co-worker.
She couldn’t complain however, not with the way you manage to talk everyone through it in your streams in a low shaky voice, and especially, not with the way you capture everyones attention with your movements.
and, like a moth to a flame, Ellie finds herself, unaware, cupping her breasts..kneading the flesh like soft dough through her bleach-stained band tee, relapsing back into a place she thought she wouldn’t want to return to; she can’t help the moans that steadily escape her when you let one of your own out, and God, Ellie might really be the worst person because she hasn’t had this good of a masturbation sesh in forever. It’s been feeling so cold and robotic lately with her trying to appease her few followers, but we know how that turned out.
“Ellie’s in the stream?” You whimper out, reading the explosive chat when you slap the silicone toy messily against your puffy clit, swollen under it’s hood but sitting so pretty like an pearl would on its’s oyster, glistening in both your own liquids. “Hi Els..” Your whiney voice calls her out.
Oh God.
Ellie’s eyes roll back abit when she sees your crinkled eyes, lip pulled in between teeth and your flushed cheeks. She practically punches the ‘Co-Host’ request button with her camera off so only her pathetic pants of your name are heard, “H-hi doll..” She hisses out softly, “You l-look so pretty r’now, ah!..’m sorry haven’t been o-on your—mmh!— streams..”
You giggle at this, and the viewer count doubles in amount. Somehow, the stream becomes what seems like a steamy facetime call between two creators, with the rest of the viewers witnessing and prying in on the salacious moment, “‘s okay..just w-wanna hear your noises, Ellie.” It’s like you knew she couldn’t speak to you without a hand busying itself down there..
The girl groans, dropping her camera inbetween her legs to the echoing sounds of squelching and heaven. Though you couldn’t see her in the dark, 2:30 AM lighting of her bedroom she lounges in, you could feel it. She doesn’t even remember the last time she’d secrete this much arousal without the assistance of lube.
“A-ah, me baby? Gosh, ‘jus wanna watch you f’ a sec. Hear me well?”
You nod, eyebrows furrowing and your eyes growing more heavy when you prop your legs up on the gaming chair, displaying your drenched pelvic area— all so messy and for everyone to see. Mainly the broad on the other end of the stream..
You squeal when you curl your fingers into a specifically spongy spot, lips parting and your head thrown back a bit— you’d long ditched the dildo for something a bit more efficient, something to really capture the moment between you. Strands of hair stick to your forehead when an orgasm arises, and you seem a bit upset for cumming too quickly, not when Ellie has just got here!
Prolonging it a bit, you heave and retreat from your digits, rubbing your thighs imaptiently with your sighs stuttering, all while the other girl slaps at her cunt from what you can hear. Painslut
Ellie looks up back at you when she, herself, feels a tight coil in her stomach beginning to loosen, “B-boutta’ cum, dollface. Cmon..put them back on ‘er. Need my girl to do it with me.”
You nod ever so slightly to her voice, though you cannot see her, the raspiness of her voice takes you to a whole other level, “Ellie..” you cry out when your fingers make contact, it seems to be hitting you harder than usual, hypersensitivity of edging yourself all stream. Is it so wrong her green-eyed gaze trains on you intently while you whine and bitch for her?
The muscles in her abdomen tighten when she particularly notices a dumbed out look on you, saliva seeping past your glossy lips and dribbling to the lacy outfit you had on, rubbing her clit as fast as she can, she eggs you on, “Ah! Ah! J-just there w’you..wanna do it ‘wif you.”
Ellie gasps when your legs twitch uncontrollably, and on-cue, as promised, she meets the point with you— biting her knuckle when she spasms through the waves of orgasmic pleasure.
A few moments go past when Ellie picks her phone camera up to see you’d already went past your donation threshold. She can hear your hiccups, hair all messed up and covering your face— sweet baby..
She quickly ends the live-stream for you, a co-host accessible option you’d enabled incase you couldn’t end it from your own screen.
just to run to her bathroom to clean herself up before heading to your place.
Was she invited? No. Was she likely pushing a boundary? Yes, but, was she going to start a ‘no-aftecare’ streak in her entirety of 23 years? Fuck no.
Whether you liked it or not, she was on her way.
@san8ny: “alr she still got it ig”
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hel1nn · 24 days ago
Text
And suddenly everything changed ೀ⋆。
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Ch.4 honeymoon
𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem zenin!reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ : Listen to kingston while reading ⭑.ᐟ
୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ : fluffyy | 18+ smut mdni | eventual smut | arranged marriage | reader is 22 and gojo is 25 | reader had a lonely life untill satoru came | abuse (gojo did nothing here.) | trauma | sprinkles of angsts | jealousy | flashbakes | soft!satoru | soft!reader | loss of virginity | self harm | first time falling in love | reader has two sisters. | Reader belongs to zenin clan. | Idiots to lovers | reader doesn't find satoru annoying since she was alone her whole life. | Insecurities | 𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆
౨ৎ Summery : spending your whole life with feeling of being useless and a waste of space,even worse that your two sisters had cursed energy but you didn't, made you wanted to kill yourself so many times but it stopped when a marriage proposal was sented to gojo clan about marrying you or one of your two sisters. Your sisters were so powerful and beauty with brain so why did satoru gojo choosed you? Moodboard | series masterlist
A/N : English isn't my first language sorry if a made any mistakes:)
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Things between you and satoru were awkward yet it was peaceful. He's being respectful towards your rules (not touching eachother without any reason, sleeping in separate rooms etc etc). Sometimes your left alone at house because of his work but satoru spends his time with you. Even one day both of you had a movie night too. It wasn't bad, infact it was very much fun more than you expected. Not to mention the small date on 31st December. Today you were just getting ready for bed as you hear a familiar knock on the door.
"come inn" you spoke as the door opens, revealing the white haired man standing there as steps in your room. You complete braiding your hair as you look at him, giving him a small smile. Seeing his expression you could tell he wanted to say something.
"do you want to..talk about anything?" You ask as you sit down on your bed, "sit here" you say as your hands pats beside you. Satoru was slightly avoiding making eye contact with you. He gives you a smile before sitting where you told him to..
"the higher ups told me too.."
"did they again do something stupid" you say,thats all you could think of them from the ridiculous things they did. From what satoru told you.
Hearing you say the *stupid* his hesitation becomes a little more... would you agree or not. He doesn't wants to upset you now c'mon.
"i mean no..they still haven't done anything for now but..they wants us to go to..okinawa.."
You blink few times..they want you and satoru visit okinawa. For what. For what..oh.
"you mean hone-"
"yes that's what i am trying to say. They want me to take you to honeymoon.." satoru says, looking away. His cheeks slightly pink. When he finally looks at you,the slightly freaked out expression..
"dont worry..i won't do anything to you if you agree. And if you don't it's completely finee-"
"i want to." You perk up,the biggest grin on your face. You had never visited a beach before. All your life locked in that jail. A smile breaks on satoru's face seeing you like this.
"the lets do whatever you want." He chuckles softly. As the blush slightly grows on your face. That night both of you yap the life out of eachothers ears, planning on what you two would do..you don't know why but even if you and satoru aren't so much close,when both of you spend your time together it feels like satoru is the closest person to you.
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February 20.
Satoru almost looks like a child, you were surprised seeing people visit the beach in this weather too. Satoru bought you a party floral midi dress. With a cardigan too since you felt kinda cold. the smooth skin of your thigh distracted satoru few times. The cherry blossoms there looking fresh and pretty. You stare at satoru playing with a kid and the kid's parents laughing at satoru as their son splashes water on him. Satoru shakes the water away from his hair like cat. (Catoru.) A soft smile playing on you lips. Everything was going fine,your eyes closed as you rest on the beach chair. The laughter of few peoples around you and the fresh breeze feeling like soothing music to your ears.
"y/n.!" You here satoru chime beside you, your eyes shot open as you perk up in slight shock. You could tell there was something in his hand that he was hiding behind his back..
"you scared me for a second" you laugh softly, recovering from that. "And what is it?" Spoke just as satoru almost shoves a sea cucumber at you. You yelp in horror,staring at the squirming thing on the ground. Satoru pouts,his shoulders slumping in the fail of surprising you with that thing.
"W-what is that.." you trail off.. moving you gaze to satoru,uh. Did he just made a foolish scene of him Infront of you? He looks away slightly,his cheeks pink
"sorry i thought this little shi- thing would slip out of my hand.." satoru says as he laughs a bit, looking at you
You shake you head in slight amusement..oh my. This man is like a manchild but..you kinda liked (absolutely loved) it. You chuckled softly before adjusting yourself on the chair comfortably
"okay you didn't failed to surprise me..btw it scared the life out me for a second" you smile at him,you pink lips shining. Satorus gaze was focused on something else,on how beautiful you looked in that dress. He loved it. Yeah don't think he's a perv cause is there any problem to admire his wife?? He finally shakes his head, snapping out of his day dream
"y-yeah what were you saying" he mumbles and you sigh, sometimes you wonder what happens to this cute man. You were enjoying the small conversation with him just then a ball hits you face, the dirt landing on the skin of you face,you see the child satoru was playing with comes running to you
"sorry miss that was meant for the uncle beside you" the kid yells before taking his ball and running away again, leaving satoru pouty and you giggling like a highschool girl
"heyy i am not any old fart!"
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You and satoru were entering the aquarium,the big and small fishes leaving you mesmerized. Not noticing satoru gently intertwining his fingerd with yours so you don't get lost here. Satoru carrying your cardigan. Not letting you since this trip is meant for you and you should enjoy it as much as you want. So you couldn't argue with him more. In the middle of exploring with satoru you suddenly bumped into someone. Just as you were going to apologise-
"oh hi.." that girl looked at satoru, totally an stranger
"oh..do i know you by any chance"
"uh- um no! But would you mind-"
"then byee" satoru started to walk, dragging you with him but then that girl again stopped both of you. All you could do was watch everything
"m-mister waitt is that your sister-"
Satoru's expression turned dumbfounded before replying. You slightly laughed, looking away in embarrassment.
"no she's my wife" the girl stops bringing out her mobile from her bag,who was planning on taking satoru's number,a pout forming on the her lips as she gives a small apology before leaving you two alone again. Satoru just lets out a sigh. You didn't really cared about anything that happened right now. Its normal for girls to hit on him because just look at him he's so handsome. Satoru and you continue your little date that both if you were too shy to admit it. Going here and there,satoru secretly clicks a photo if you staring at a big fish there. As aquarium was about to close both of you finally left, you intentionally didn't let go of his hand since..it felt warm. At the hotel room you were unknownly tucked into satoru's arms since the hotel room only had one bed,his long fingers gently caressing your scalp. Admiring your little face resting against his chest. He knows how you will shower him with apologies because you touched him after saying you would respect his personal space. But satoru liked it. a little smile playing on his lips
"your beautiful"
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Taglist : @chilichopsticks @milolop @kuroosvow @bypanana @hoseokslefteyebrow @sorcerersseestars @ssetsuka @megumisthirdog @certainduckanchor @myahfig4 @officialholyagua and idk why i can't tag @deliciouslydeliciouspenguin and @saihar4s :(
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