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yunwangja · 7 months ago

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touch - tobio kageyama oneshot

kageyama feels jealous as he notices that the other karasuno members can be physically affectionate with you while he struggles to do the same, thanks to your hesitation whenever he tries to get close.

genre: slight drama? romantic angst? its kageyama being frustrated so ig yeah, also eventual fluff

tags: kageyama x fem!reader, high school friends to lovers

warnings/notes: swearing, honestly that's it lol. also THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SORRY IF ITS LACKING /,,,,: i tried my best for them to be in character too so if not mb >< also approx. 1.2k words

kageyama’s thoughts had been swirling lately, a tumult of confusion and frustration. and it was all because of you.

he found himself watching you more often than he cared to admit, noticing every smile exchanged, every casual touch with other members of the volleyball team that seemed effortless. midterms and practices passed in a blur, overshadowed by his own internal questioning.

why did he feel like you were avoiding him so subtly? why did simple interactions feel like navigating a minefield? happenings from days ago has been haunting him, your subtle movements away from him echoing in his mind.

he wanted to be closer to you, and understand why you seemed so distant whenever he tries to. only thing was: he’s bad at this. he’s bad at expressing his feelings and making a mess of himself, especially in front of you. how could he do this so naturally when you keep on backing away?

"y/n-chan! you’re here!" hinata exclaimed joyfully, bounding over to greet you. oh right, i’m in practice. kageyama thought and snapped back to reality, mainly because of hinata’s loud announcement of your arrival, and well, because, it’s you.

his head snapped towards the gym entrance, catching your smile as you exchanged greetings with hinata.

"how was midterms?" sugawara approached you and asked kindly, prompting a hesitant response from you, "uh, they were fine, i think. hehe." the third year patted your head comfortingly, "i'm sure you did great."

kageyama's chest tightened slightly at the gesture, his irritation simmering beneath his composed exterior as he focused on his serves.

"wow, tobio, you're as consistent as ever," daichi commented seeing his performance, with asahi nodding in agreement. you managed to wave to kageyama from beside yachi, and he nodded in acknowledgment before returning to his practice.

practice officially began with a three-on-three match: tanaka, sugawara, and asahi against hinata, kageyama, and tsukishima. you stood near tanaka's team and cheered enthusiastically as he spiked, "nice kill, tanaka-senpai!"

tanaka grinned proudly and threw an arm around your shoulders, basking in your praise. “it’s nothing, y/n!”

kageyama's frustration flared again. why can't i do that too? kageyama wondered silently.

he decides to lash it out on tsukishima, pushing him to block their spikes better - to which the tall teammate responded with an exasperated roll of his eyes.

it all started a few days ago - you were having lunch on the rooftop with hinata and kageyama. hinata was engrossed in his own thoughts, while kageyama had this plan to subtly get closer to you, unsure and hesitant about being too forward. he wasn't particularly skilled at these things.

as kageyama inched closer, you immediately noticed and instinctively pulled back a bit, nervously remarking, "oh, is the sun shining on your side?" even though the weather was perfect and there was no sunlight. kageyama glanced down and replied, "uh, no... yeah, thanks. you didn't have to move unless it's cramped for you."

"no, as long as you have enough space," you awkwardly chuckled, trying to ease the panic you felt and continued eating.

kageyama sighed inwardly, contemplating another approach. he just wanted to be more gentle and affectionate towards you, just like the others do. hell, maybe, more than they do.

while you were sipping your beverage, you happened to try blueberry-flavored milk for the first time. "this is an interesting flavor," you remarked.

"really? what brand is it?" kageyama asked, attempting to hold your hand with the milk carton while leaning closer to you, making his face close to yours.

once again, you panic and quickly hand him the carton instead, "i-i don't know. you can check it yourself." you stood up to gather your things, suggesting, "let's go now," with hinata obediently following. he urged kageyama to hurry up as he remained on the floor with the now-empty blueberry milk carton.

from that moment, thoughts began to swirl in kageyama's mind—why did you keep avoiding him? was he making you uncomfortable? did you not like being close to him? was he being too much?

walking back to your classrooms, kageyama was stopped in his thoughts when he noticed hinata subtly linking his arm with yours. "y/n-chan! look!" hinata excitedly pointed out a stall being set up outside the window for the upcoming school festival.

you squealed with excitement and both of you jumped up and down, holding hands. kageyama couldn't help but notice the contrast—why was it okay for hinata to touch you like this, but not him? was he doing something wrong? did you dislike him?

"aren't you excited, kageyama?" hinata's question pulled him back from his thoughts. he quickly masked his inner turmoil and casually walked past both of you, muttering, "i don't care", making hinata complain about his lack of school spirit, while you just giggled in response.

back in the present, you continued cheering for tanaka's team after your interaction with him, prompting hinata to playfully pout, "y/n-chan, cheer for us too!"

you laughed and nodded, encouraging everyone with a big smile. “do your best too, hinata! tsukishima, kageyama!” kageyama would normally be melting inside, but today his mind was all over the place, frustrated. this drove him to be set on winning.

i don’t need to be close to you. i don’t even need your cheers. he resolved silently (and pettily), i'll prove it. and he did.

as practice ended with his team's victory, everyone dispersed, leaving you and kageyama, since you were walking in the same direction. "thanks for your hard work," you greeted him cheerfully, but he merely nodded, avoiding eye contact.

trying to engage him in conversation, you remarked on his performance, but kageyama's responses remained curt. "you were really cool as always, but you seemed even more fired up today after seeing tanaka-senpai’s spike," you commented lightly, trying to lighten the mood.

"you're so petty," you teased with a giggle, but kageyama stayed silent, lost in his thoughts.

as you walked and chatted animatedly about a recent volleyball match, a bicycle approached unnoticed.

just in time, kageyama noticed and instinctively pulled you closer, holding your hand to prevent you from getting hurt. flustered by his sudden action—and the fact that he was holding your hand—you looked at him in surprise.

"watch where you're going," kageyama said gruffly, his hands holding yours intensely. you awkwardly laughed off the situation, "i'm sorry. thanks though!"

glancing at your hands still together, you attempted to pull away. “you can let go now,” you try to smile.

there you go again, he thinks. he’s been experiencing this from you for days and it’s been pissing him off. he’s had enough.

kageyama held on to his grip on yours. "no," he said firmly and looked ahead. confused, "what? it’s fine, really, you don’t have to hold my hand,” you try to assure him and continued to let go of his hand.

his expression softened slightly as he slowly looked at you, revealing a hint of vulnerability beneath his usual tough exterior. "why, can't i hold your hand?" he questioned, his voice quieter but determined.

you were taken aback by his question. where is this coming from? you never really noticed anything unusual about his behavior—at least, not that you were aware of.

you try to stay calm for now. "what do you mean? of course you can, but there's no need to anymo—"

"that's a lie. you don't even let me touch you." he maintains eye contact with you. you can't quite grasp what he means yet, but despite the firmness in his voice, his eyes seem to be pleading, as if he's waiting for something.

"do i make you uncomfortable, y/n?" he asks while you're still processing the situation. you shake your head. "no, not at all."

"then why can't i hold your hand?" he continues. "you let the other members do it all the time, especially hinata. why do you treat me so differently?"

shit.

technically, you know why you were acting this way. you just never thought that this was something kageyama would even think or care about, so you just behaved this way naturally.

"i…" nothing else comes out. at this point, you and kageyama are having a staring contest. you want to go home—you’re nervous as hell—but he’s looking at you like he won’t leave until you answer him. "where is this coming from, kageyama?"

"hinata links arms with you, holds hands with you. sugawara-senpai pats your head all the time. tanaka-senpai has a habit of putting his arm around you whenever you compliment him—all of them get to touch you like that, and you don’t even care. but i just come and sit closer to you, and you back away already?"

honestly, you are amazed at how he remembers your interactions with the other members. to you, what they did was nothing to think about, but kageyama noticed every detail.

you knew kageyama—well, at least this trait of his; the fact that he is actually opening up about this means it has bothered him for quite some time. it dumbfounds you that these "small" things to you actually mattered to him—a lot, maybe even more than you realize.

you look down at the ground, breaking eye contact. "y/n—"

"you are right, kageyama, it is different."

"because i don't care if the others do it to me," you say, lifting your gaze back to him, a sense of vulnerability in your eyes this time. "but i care when you do."

you see the surprise on his face. "too much that it could kill me, honestly." he looks bewildered. "w-what? i don't understand."

"unlike the others, i…" your cheeks flush, and your eyes linger somewhere else again as you brace yourself for what you're about to say. "i want you to touch me."

this shocks kageyama, but leaves him wanting more answers.

"i want you to be close to me like that so badly, but it’s too much—it feels selfish. i mean, it’s not like you’re going to benefit much from that. it's all just for myself. i bet you don't want to do that, so i purposely avoided physical contact with you."

there was a few seconds of silence before he could even respond to that. "idiot," he whispers while keeping his head down, but loud enough for you to hear. you look at him, quite embarrassed that you just lowkey confessed to him, and now he's calling you an idiot. he takes a breath and closes his eyes. "why? i just answered you—"

"i want to!" he shouts, his voice rising sharply.

now, you both keep surprising each other.

"i'm not complaining here just because i think you treat me differently from them! hell, i couldn't care any less if it was anyone else. but it's you, y/n."

"i'm frustrated because i want to touch you like that too!"

he looks away, feeling shy. "i want to hold your hand and pat your head when i want to. i want to stand and sit close to you so i can feel you beside me. i want to be able to hug you when i score a point during a match," he pauses, "although i don't think you're allowed on the bench during a match—but that's not the point!"

he looks so cute, but this is also all new to you. you don't know how to feel about his confession. you don't know if this literally means he likes you (which you do too), but one thing is for sure.

you weren't being selfish after all.

"so, please, y/n…"

"let me. and don't avoid me," he says. "it hurts when you do, you know."

your eyes fill with concern. you take a few seconds before speaking again, "kageyama."

he looks at you shyly. "what?"

you respond by grabbing his hand, intertwining it with yours. "okay."

he looks down to see your hands together, and his face turns bright red. "you can hold my hand." he looks up to see your smiling face.

"i'm sorry for avoiding you like that. i thought you really didn't mind. and cared. thank you for telling me what you felt," you apologize.

he shakes his head. "no, you did nothing wrong. and i'm not actually mad, you know…"

"i was just frustrated. i'm sorry i kind of shouted just now."

you shake your head and start to walk again, letting your linked hands guide him as well. "no, no. i know. i'm even glad you let it all out. that's a big step, in my opinion, after knowing you these past months," you say.

he looks at you, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. it's as if he didn't expect you to notice. you didn't show any trace of anger or hurt after how he acted just now—you even cared about what he felt. his expression softens, a mix of amazement and shy delight flickering across his face and looks away again. "well, that's what i'm trying to learn these days."

"that's good," you give him what he thinks is the sweetest smile.

you both continue walking hand-in-hand towards the street corner where you usually part ways—kageyama takes the bus while you head in the other direction to the train station. after your intense and revealing conversation, the rest of the walk is quiet.

"y/n," he breaks the silence, and you look at him, urging him to say what he wants.

"uh, you know," he looks shy again, scratching the back of his head.

"what is it?" you ask.

"i'm just saying this to put it out there, but…" he squirms, "you can call me by my first name if you want to."

you are taken aback first by what he says. after absorbing his words, you laugh, and he continues to blush.

"all right, tobio."

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #tobio kageyama #kageyama tobio #tobio x reader #kageyama x reader

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certaimromance · 6 months ago

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࣪ ִֶָ☾. Love or seal?

Dean Winchester x Fem!reader

Summary: An avenging spirit is killing married couples, so the Winchesters think it's a good idea to use you to pretend to be one and take down the ghost. But the act becomes all too real before you know it.

Words: 1,8k.

Warnings & Tags: mentions of murder, death, violence. so much teasing. a little of angst with happy ending. dean from the early seasons but soft and chaotic (a bit simp). sam being cupid and forgotten lol. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I've always been a Dean girl and I'm so excited about this. I love the concept of "Frenemies to Lovers" with its more playful and cutie version from the earlier seasons, I hope I described it well.

This is my second time ever writing here, i'm still new.

You took another look in the mirror and walked a few laps around the dingy motel room, trying to swallow the act. It seemed ironic to wear such a fancy dress and high heels in a place like this, but it was all so you could solve the case and prevent more deaths. After all, it was your job to catch the ghosts and put them to rest.

It had been a long time since you'd been out on a date or worn anything other than your usual jeans and leather jacket. Buying yourself a cute dress and wedding rings with one of your fake cards had been entertaining, the closest thing to a normal life you'd had in years.

“Come in, I need help with the zipper on my dress.” You said after hearing a couple of knocks on your door.

You were still standing in front of the bathroom mirror, waiting for Sam to show up to help you so the two of you could leave soon for the restaurant where you both had reserved a table. The strange thing was that the cold hands you felt running down your back and zipping you up were not his, but those of his older brother.

“What are you doing here? Where is Sam?” You turned around to look at Dean once your dress was closed. It was then that you noticed he was wearing a suit and the ring.

“In the room.” He replied, moving closer to you so he could look at himself in the mirror and adjusting his tie with difficulty, he was not used to wearing one at all and felt suffocated.

“Why are you dressed like that?” You asked him after looking him over from head to toe and inevitably biting your lower lip. He looked good, all dressed up and dapper, you could even smell the scent of cologne wafting off him.

“I'll be your husband for tonight.” Dean smiled at you.

You frowned when you heard that the younger Winchester would no longer be your fake husband, because that was not what you had all agreed upon. Sam had always been more husband material, and you trusted him enough to have some physical contact if necessary. On the other hand, you saw Dean as someone who was far from the prototypical perfect partner, and you could barely talk to him without arguing about your differences, never having touched him except for sparring practice or taking away the gun he kept stealing from you. You couldn't deny that both brothers were attractive, but they were almost equally far from meaning anything romantic to you.

“We flipped a coin and I got the job.” He added to the explanation, noticing the confusion on your face.

Finally you nodded, realizing that once again they had not been able to reach an agreement and had had to put luck in the middle for the choice of roles. You didn't mind going with Dean, you had already been on several hunts with him and trusted his skills, but having to impersonate his wife was weird.

“Can you...?” He tried to ask you, pointing at his tie and all the trouble it caused him.

You let out a small laugh at seeing him so confused over a simple tie and went over to him to take it off. You had to tie it all over again because of how badly he had done it before.

“This looks very wife.” He commented as he saw the delicacy with which you were trying to fix his mess.

“I hope the spirit feels the same and is looking forward to slaughtering us.” You replied, taking a step away from him as you finished.

You two said a quick goodbye to Sam and then hopped into the Impala, which took you to a shiny restaurant near the road where the ghost appeared.

“Don't embarrass me, please.” You said to him as soon as you both sat down at the table and placed your order.

“How could I, darling?” He smiled innocently at you and took your hand on the table, caressing the ring on your finger.

You didn't say anything, just smiled back and kept your thoughts to yourself. You couldn't believe he actually called you that, sounding almost like a husband, even though you knew it was because of the acting, it gave you a funny feeling in your stomach. The most you'd gotten from Dean Winchester in all the years you'd known him was a "good job" and a strange smile, followed by a lot of questions about your careless decisions. You alone were far enough away from marriage, let alone someone like him.

“You look very handsome tonight.” You told him as you saw he was drinking water, causing him to almost spit it out in surprise.

Usually you never complimented him, barely looked him in the eye, talked about anything other than hunting, or even laughed at his jokes. It seemed that his presence didn't matter much to you because your interests were more aligned with Sam's and you got along better with him. That bothered Dean a lot, he hated being so invisible in your eyes.

Now, however, you didn't take your eyes off him and even gave him compliments that left him speechless to continue the performance.

“At least the food is good.” You said absentmindedly as the waiter brought the plates.

“And the company?”

You looked into his eyes, trying to understand if he was playing with you or if he was really hurt by your lack of emotion. The strange thing was that you didn't know if it was one or the other, his greenish gaze was a mystery.

“The best company, of course.” You gave him a smile and picked up your glass of wine to make a small toast.

“How affectionate you are now.”

“Yes, I feel almost as if today is the last day of my life.” You said with irony.

Dinner went off without a hitch in a quiet and strangely pleasant atmosphere. You couldn't help but be surprised by Dean's friendliness, it was the first time you had a civilized conversation with him. The first time he held your hand and you noticed how green his eyes were.

Suddenly, everything he said, silly or not, made you smile. The only rational thing to do was to attribute it to the glass of wine he had decided to drink. In general, you didn't allow yourself to drink alcohol, let alone in the middle of a hunt. But now, for some reason, you thought it would help your nerves and relax you a bit.

“Where did you leave the car?” You asked once they left the site and the time to travel the road of death was approaching.

“In the corner over there...I hope.” He answered without really being sure. For him, it had all happened so fast when you two arrived.

“My feet hurt. Don't play with me now.” You said, hating the high heels you were wearing.

At that moment, the hunter stopped and motioned for you to sit on the bench by the exit. Unsure, you obeyed and frowned as he knelt down to gently remove your shoes.

“Happy now?” He asked he asked, holding your heels in his hands.

“I can't walk barefoot.” You claimed, putting on a fake sad face and lowering your gaze to his arms.

Dean shook his head instantly.

“No, don't even think that I'll carry you.” He warned confidently, folding his arms.

A few minutes later, he was silently leading you to the car, snorting at every opportunity to give in so easily to your wishes.

“This looks very husband.” You pointed out with a smile and a teasing tone.

“I would offer you to the spirit right now.” He replied, looking at you with narrowed eyes.

“How lovely you are, my dear.”

The two finally got into the car and headed for the exit. Dean had received a message from his brother telling him that he had found the name of the ghost woman and her grave with her husband, who was the cause of all his resentment against happily married couples, and to top it off, he was buried on top of her.

“Sam is going to burn the grave and everything will be fine.” He said trying to comfort you as he saw the concern on your face. “Maybe the woman doesn't want to kill anyone today.”

“You have too much faith in a murderous spirit.” You sighed and tried to remove the ring from your finger, but it stuck. “And you should take the ring off.”

“Are we getting divorced so soon?” He replied in a joking tone, with his eyes on the road.

You looked at him seriously, this was no time for jokes because everything was going wrong. If Sam didn't dig up those bones soon, they were probably going to kill you both and the plan was going to fail completely. It was supposed to be easy and you were terrified that it wasn't anymore.

“Come on, don't be like that. You were laughing so hard with me.” He smiled at you.

Before you could respond, a pale woman in a blood-stained wedding dress appeared in the back seat. You could barely say Dean's name when the ghost's hand came around your neck and began to choke you. After a few moments, you couldn't even breathe and everything became a blur.

You didn't want to die, at least not at that moment. Not without having lived a life as good as the night before everything went to hell. You still had too many things to do to go like that, let alone in front of him, you couldn't let that happen.

“Don't move.” The hunter said to you before drawing his gun and disputing you to the back seat.

The ghost disappeared for a few seconds and then reappeared just ahead of the road. A braking maneuver as the woman was beginning to burn in front of the two of you almost made you jump out of your seat.

Sam had succeeded.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks, looking at you with concern.

“Yeah.” You said, still trying to catch your breath and process everything that had happened.

“And my thanks for saving you and not letting death part us?”

At any other time, you would have simply made a sarcastic comment and emphasized that it was all thanks to her brother. However, the recent experience had changed something in you and made you kiss his cheek.

Before you could completely pull your face away from his, he put his hand on your cheek and pulled you close. You felt his lips move over yours and responded without hesitation. A big part of you had been thinking about this moment all night and was more than happy it was happening. It was like the perfect ending to a fake marriage date, minus the killer ghost part, and it made you smile in the middle of it.

“You didn't flip any coin, did you?” You asked as you broke away from the kiss for a second.

“No, I didn't.” He admitted, leaving a kiss on your head and making you smile even more.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester #the winchester brothers

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nagaytoe · 1 month ago

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Habromania

(Noun) Delusions of happiness

Solivan Brugmansia X Reader

TWs: Mentions of death, dead bodies, murder, smut, technically non-con

Disclaimer: This is my first time ever writing smut and it was way more uncomfortable than I would've initially thought lol

I feel like people are either gonna love this or hate this, no in between c:

Word count: 1.8k

Requests: open

“Pumpkin, I'm home!”

Sol stepped into the dark apartment, immediately reaching for the light switch to illuminate the space. He tossed the keys to his apartment on the drawer right next to the front door, before taking off his black boots and coat.

Sol entered your shared bedroom and saw you laying on the bed as always, the soft duvets wrinkled under you. “Pumpkin, really, we need to get you out of that bed one of those days…it's not good to constantly be laying down.”

“It's really cold outside…you can be glad that you don't have to confront yourself with that…though, it’s hardly any warmer in here…” Sol chuckled slightly at his own comment. “Well, at least the atmosphere is rather nice…Christmas is right around the corner anyways. I'm still contemplating on what to get you… I'll come up with something soon enough. Maybe I could just draw a portrait of you… Or the two of us together. Wouldn't that be lovely?”

You neither answered him nor glanced at him.

Sol looked at the time.

“Oh, it's almost 6pm? I'm sorry that I left you alone here for so long. I had some… business to take care of…”

Sol's tone of voice darkened but he quickly changed his demeanor again, clasping his hands together.

“Now, what should I cook? Do you have a specific wish, Pumpkin? Oh, I know, I'll cook your favorite meal in order to make it up to you that you had to wait so long! You can stay here, I'll take care of everything.”

Sol gently kissed the top of your head before leaving the bedroom and walking straight towards the rather small kitchen.

The tall male took out every ingredient necessary for your favorite meal and started cooking, his skilled hands deftly working away. When he was done, he prepared two plates with food and took them with him back into the bedroom.

“Here you go, Pumpkin.” Sol set down one plate on the bedside table before sitting down next to you on the bed, his legs crossed and the other plate placed on his lap.

The man clasped his hands together in a silent prayer, shutting his eyes and whispering, “Thank you for the food.”, before digging in. Halfway through his meal Sol frowned.

“Pumpkin, you haven't touched your food at all… again… it's your favorite, you know?”

After he finished his meal, he got up, grabbing his and your plate and taking them back to the kitchen. He put the leftovers into a container, storing it in the fridge among a dozen others, cleaning the dirty dishes and cutlery afterwards. Once he was finished, he swiftly returned to the bedroom.

He sighed when you didn't respond. Ever since he took you here, to his apartment, you've given him the silent treatment.

Sol was patient however, he understood.

“What do you wanna do tonight, Pumpkin?”

No answer.

Sol looked slightly dejected at your lack of an answer, before bringing up an idea himself, “How about a movie? Sleepy Hollow, maybe? I know how much you love that movie.” He smiled softly, grabbing the remote and laying down on the bed next to you, covering himself with a thick blanket. As he turned on the movie, he snuggled closer to you, resting his head on your shoulder. You didn’t make any attempts at leaning into him or resting your head on top of his own. Sol didn’t mind however, he knew that you’d take some time to warm up to him, though he often doubted whether that would happen at all. Either way, you were here with him and that’s all that mattered to him.

The end credits rolled on screen and Sol let out a yawn, stretching slightly and sitting up. He stayed in the same position for the entirety of the movie, concerned about making you uncomfortable by adjusting his position and moving too much. “I honestly don’t know how you do it, Pumpkin. How can you stay in the same position all the time, I’m already sore after 2 hours.” He chuckled lightly and looked at you. You were so pretty, even though your appearance had changed. You were way paler than before and looked a little greasy in general, but that’s okay, Sol loved you regardless. The tall male stood up and got ready for bed, brushing his teeth and changing into his sleepwear. After a few minutes, he slipped under the covers, snuggling close to your body.

“I love you, [____]. I’m so glad to have you in my life, to have you here with me…” He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, before resting his head on top of it and falling into a peaceful slumber.

Rays of sunlight streamed into the room through the slits of the blinds. Sol blinked a little, looking up towards your face. There you were, in all your glory, eyes slightly open already and your pupils dilated, just as they always were nowadays. “You’re awake, Pumpkin.” He shifted slightly in position to softly kiss your cheek. Sol looked at you with an awestruck expression. How did you manage to be this effortlessly pretty? He let out a content sigh, as if in a dreamy haze, before brushing your hair out of your face. “I gotta go, Pumpkin. Don’t worry though, I’ll be back right after my classes today, you won’t have to miss me for too long.”

Pressing another delicate kiss to your cheek, he finally got up and started getting ready for the day.

“See you later, Pumpkin!” He called out after putting on his coat and boots, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. You couldn’t care less whether or not he was here with you. You stopped caring long ago.

Sol came back home after a few hours. This was the everyday routine for him these days: Getting up, going to university, coming back home and spending the rest of his day with you, given he didn’t have any business to attend to. He couldn’t complain though. This is what he had always dreamed of, he went a long way for this, killing Jericho Ichabod just so he could have you all to himself and he’d be damned if he didn’t appreciate it.

“I’m back, Pumpkin… I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”, He waited for a response he would never get, “Can’t say the same for me, I missed you all day long, like I always do…” Without wasting more time, he got back into bed with you. The air in the room was musty, but he didn’t bother opening a window. You were always extremely cold, he didn’t need to make it worse by letting in the cool December breeze. “I missed you… so much…” Sol cuddled even closer, his face buried in the crook of your neck and inhaling your scent, letting out a shaky breath as a shiver ran down his spine. “You smell so good… How do you smell this good, Pumpkin?” His hand ran up and down your upper body. “I missed your smell… the feeling of your body… your touch…”

His breathing was slowly becoming more laboured as he got more and more worked up, his hands groping your body.

“Please Pumpkin… let me have this, please…” He was begging you at this point… And how could you refuse?

His hand clutched his erection through his pants, which were feeling way too tight right about now. Sol groaned, unbuckling his pants and pulling them down alongside his underwear. He took your hand in his, wrapping your fingers around his aching cock, his own hand on top of yours, guiding your movements. “A- ahh..Pumpkin…” he moaned as he started moving your hand up and down his hard-on. He went faster and faster, thrusting into your hand by now.

“I love you, Pumpkin… I always have and I always will…” He whispered between quiet moans and shaky breaths. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, his sperm squirting out and soaking your intertwined hands in his juices. Sol was panting, trying to catch his breath as he came down from his high. “Pumpkin… you’re so utterly perfect, you know that? I’m so lucky to have you, my Soulmate…” he sighed, nuzzling his head further into your shoulder. He placed your hand on his bedside table and pressed a kiss to your shoulder before getting up from the bed. “I’ll get something to clean up the mess, I won’t be long.” With that he left the room, washing his hands and grabbing a cloth, as well as some bandages from the bathroom cabinet.

Sol returned from the bathroom and re-entered his bedroom. It was ever so slightly warmer than usually, a noticeable change in comparison to the usual coldness of the room. He didn’t even notice the putrid smell in the air anymore, long having gotten used to it as he walked up to his bedside, grabbing your hand from the table next to it and taking off the now drenched bandages wrapped around your fingers. He was careful in his approach, not wanting to ruin your hand. Once the bandage was off, he could see the rotten skin underneath, though there was barely any left hanging onto the slender bones of your severed hand. He renewed the bandage and put your hand beside your body again. Your hand was a representation of the rest of your body. Rotten skin and flesh holding onto your bones with all the strength they had left, however, most of your body was covered in bandages anyways, covering the poorly sewn together hole in your chest. Your eyes, unblinking and blank, stared straight ahead, as if in a trance, as if you were avoiding to look at him.

You were still as pretty as ever to him. You might have been a shell of who you once were, but Sol didn’t care. In his delusion, you still looked the same, with your soft skin, silky hair and bright eyes. Alive and breathing. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, as he laid down next to you again, snuggling close to your body, whispering sweet nothings and his usual declaration of eternal love.

“I love you, Pumpkin, I will until I take my last breath– and beyond.” He deeply inhaled your scent - the stench of death and rotten flesh, though to him you smelled like heaven.

“We'll be together for the rest of time. Don't worry, no one will ever take you away from me, I'll make sure of that…”

You would never leave him, would you?

Well, it's not like you have a choice, for even after death he refuses to let go of you.

—————————————

Note: I am curious, did anyone catch the little phrases I left throughout the story, hinting at the death of the reader? (they're in bold font)

By the way, this was written before fantasia posted the canon events after the bad ending, but it's fun to think about ither ways it could've gone down nonetheless!

319 notes · View notes

skzdarlings · 3 months ago

Text

the kingsguard ; jisung x reader ; part v

pairing: han jisung/reader summary: You are a queen. He is a kingsguard - a member of a holy order that vows to defend the king in the name of the gods. They forsake all earthly goods and swear a vow of chastity to avoid all worldly temptation. When he stands in as proxy for the royal wedding, all those vows are tested.

content info: reader described with curly hair.

content warnings: the previously established story dynamics are prevalent in this chapter, please proceed at own discretion. the king threatens sexual violence again. there is explicit consensual sexual content in this chapter with reader and jisung. first times, breaking of vows, lots of mental work packed in there lol.

chapter word count: 11500 words.

enjoy <3

Despite the delay, you reach the intended campsite before nightfall. The king finds his own entertainment while everyone else works at erecting tents and constructing fire pits.

Chan assigns Seungmin to watch the king while he occupies himself elsewhere. The tension between the king and the kingsguard captain ripples through the camp, though no one – not even the king – is audacious enough to remark on it.

The kingsguard has a sanctified power, burdened with the responsibility of protecting the crown above all else. This manifests as protecting the king so long as oaths are kept and holy accords obeyed. The king is abundantly aware he is not in the leader’s good graces right now. Even that petulant fool of a man is smart enough to recognize that antagonism from an ancient religious order is a perilous position for a holy king.

Because he cannot harass Chan, the king directs his ire towards Hyunjin, so Chan sends Hyunjin across the camp to help there. Jisung accompanies him. As the lowest ranked kingsguard, his absence will not be minded.

You are irate, watching Hyunjin limp away with Jisung following behind him. You think of their skill and bravery in protecting you from the assassins. You think of their loyalty and good hearts. They both deserve better.

Stewing in irritation, you opt to stay out of the way. It is better to remain unobtrusive rather than instigate more dramatics after the events of today.

You kneel down in the grass, out of the way of the tents. You are organizing a bag of personal effects when an unfamiliar pair of painted boots appear in your line of your vision. You look up, startled to find one of the king’s courtiers looming over you. He is one of the few who has been riding in the carriage and you are surprised he is so far from the inner circle now.

“Your Holy Majesty,” he says, surprising you with the appropriately respectful title. He surprises you further by offering his hand and helping you to your feet. The final surprise is a bow so deep he bends his knees. “I ask for your grace and forgiveness,” he says. “And I ask for you to pray on my behalf that the gods may also forgive me for my petty transgressions. I would never speak ill of the gods-chosen king but—” He looks over his shoulder briefly, spots the king far across the camp with the remainder of his inner circle. Satisfied with the distance, he looks at you, expression solemn. “But I believe human error may have conquered the holy senses,” he says. In a lower voice, tinged with resentment, he says, “To raise hands to the queen in public, especially after the events of the other day…”

You are still too surprised to respond. You remain silent, hands folded in front of you.

He says with some finality, “I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Your Holiness, please ensure that you have support in some noble factions here – particularly after today. And please do recall, this is not all the court, merely the king’s personal selection, and there are those at home in the capital who will also support you.”

The sincerity of his oath leaves you stunned. You stare at his footprints long after he has departed.

The courtier does not return to the inner circle but joins a different cluster of palace residents. Their attention turns to you, followed by dips and bows.

Your bewildered mind finally catches up to your racing heart. You sweep into a quick return bow. When you turn away, you let out a breath. Your eyes trace the treeline around the clearing. The smoky orange mist of sunset winds through the branches. You look but do not see, mentally replaying the whole exchange.

It seems even the most devout courtiers have a restricted capacity of tolerance for royal misconduct. Their motivations may be selfish in seeing a flagrant disrespect of the gods’ will and worrying what ramifications will manifest for them, but it is still a significant loyalty shift.

You allow yourself a little smile. Knowing the camp is no longer brimming with hostiles lightens your heavy heart.

You are barely at ease when you turn around, startled again by yet another visitor. This time is the kingsguard Minho. He stands as still and patient as marble, hand on the hilt of his sword. He lists slightly to that side, his other hand dangling in a fist.

“Your Majesty,” he says. His bow is more of a nod as he seems lost in contemplation – or maybe that is scrutiny, studying your face like it holds the answer to some profound question.

You are open as ever, as patiently marble in waiting for him.

He exhales. It sounds like a surrendering. It makes you nervous, especially with the way he darts a glances over his shoulder. The king and other kingsguards are busy, the courtiers turned to their own affairs, and the servants are busy with meal preparation.

You cannot imagine what Minho has to say or do that cannot be witnessed.

Your answer comes without a word but a gesture, his closed first opening between you. You jump at what he reveals.

The phial of sleeping draft. You assumed it was lost in the ocean tide. Last you touched it, it went into your dress pocket and that dress is now underwater. You thought the draft was lost too. You lamented the only protection you had in prolonging the king’s advances.

It must have fallen out of your pocket earlier than that, when you threw yourself to the forest floor in sickness. Minho helped you through it. Somewhere in your distraction, he must have grabbed the bottle.

A hot flash of terror spreads through you, looking at the dark liquid sloshing around in that little phial. When you look up, his brow is furrowed, face pinched with intense scrutiny.

You are not sure what to expect. Minho is decent and he seems close with Jisung, which naturally lends your trust to him, but your interactions have been minimal. He could grab you by the wrist and drag you to Chan to accuse you of harbouring poison. It would no doubt instigate the king’s wrath and everything would spiral before you could catch your breath.

Minho sighs.

“Will it kill him?” he asks.

“Oh.” It is not the question you are expecting. With sincerity and pleading eyes, you reply, “No. I swear. It’s just a sleeping draft. For – for myself. To help me – at night.”

He has clever eyes. You suspect he can deduce what that really means.

“Mm,” is all he says. He takes your hand and puts the phial in your palm, then he closes your fingers around it. He gives you a look, something stern that demands secrecy without a word.

You nod, clutching the bottle tightly.

“Be careful,” he says.

“Of course,” you reply.

He walks away while you gather yourself, the adrenaline of two unpredictable encounters simmering. It has not yet settled when the king barks an order, his voice making you jump, particularly when your name is included in his angry tone.

It draws Hyunjin from the outskirts. He is still teeming, looking as though he wants any excuse to swing at the king again, punishments be damned. Jisung is a step behind him, looking with worried eyes while the king seeks you out.

The king stops a distance from you, speaking across a fire pit, like he cannot be bothered to cross that space. You think he is also a little intimidated because Hyunjin is fuming in his periphery.

The king does not look at the kingsguards, not even Chan who approaches on his other side. He glares at you, enunciating every word with a snarling upturn of his lip as he says, “Go to the river. Bathe yourself. You will see me tonight.”

This gives you another flash of terror, wide-eyed as you stare at his retreating form. The implications are not subtle. They are also not surprising. He has spent the day being belittled and tested and he blames the brunt of it on you. Of course a cruel and violent man would steal back his supposed dignity in the only hateful way he can, putting you in whatever perceived place he believes you belong.

You know he will make it awful. He would have been unkind on your initial wedding night but now you are certain he will be brutal. He does not just want to use you; he wants to hurt you.

You wish you could be stronger in the face of this reality, uncaring and brash and mouthy, snarking at him behind his back. Your heart is not built that way. You are frightened and very sad, fist curled so tightly at your side that it shakes.

You almost forget what that fist is holding until you glance at Minho. He is leaning against a tree, out of sight of the king. He quirks an eyebrow then mimes taking a drink.

Unfortunately, this makes you laugh, your nerves melting into the outburst of sound.

The king looks at you over his shoulder, his eyes furious. You feel the sparkle in your own as you stare back at him.

Before the king speaks again, Chan steps forward. His displeasure is obvious, his concern more so. He looks at you with that despondency, helpless to do anything insofar as the marriage bed. That is not the realm of the kingsguard, to say the least, though Chan looks like he wishes he could command otherwise.

“The queen should not be left unaccompanied,” Chan says. Looking at the king, he says bitingly, “Especially considering recent attempts on her life, Your Holiness.”

Holiness sounds like an accusation in that tone.

The king straightens, glaring back at Chan.

Hyunjin, seemingly determined to escalate the mounting tension, walks towards you with an easy gait. He smiles a very charming smile.

“I can escort the queen,” he says, in a very different voice than usual, almost sultry in its depth. It makes you blink in confusion.

The king forgets Chan entirely as he reels around, pointing a finger at Hyunjin.

“You will burn for eternity first, kingsguard,” the king snaps.

Hyunjin just smiles prettily, hands folded neatly behind his back. The lack of response agitates the already exasperated king who huffs and shakes his head. His eyes dart around and inevitably land on Han Jisung. It startles Jisung who swings into an instinctive bow. He stares wide-eyed at the ground.

“Bard boy,” the king says. “Take the queen.”

You look at Jisung as he straightens. His blinking gaze moves from the king to you.

That laughter is still caught in your throat, its bubbling delight only intensifying as you look at each other. You think of that kiss on the riverbank, the softness of his every glance since then. You do not even think it is especially subtle, or maybe you are just supremely aware of it, holding his gaze as he approaches you. You feel like it gives everything away.

The king is arrogant and he thinks Jisung is nobody important. He does not even glance at at the unassuming bard, his eyes following Hyunjin as he waltzes away.

“Are you going to take me then, bard boy?” you whisper.

Jisung chokes on a laugh, a blush darkening the tips of his ears. He looks over his shoulder but everyone else is ambling back to their posts.

He looks at your innocently fluttering eyelashes.

“Don’t tease,” he says with a nervous giggle. “I think it might kill me.”

He means it in a playfully hyperbolic way, but you grant there is a sobering truth to that statement. It succeeds in quieting you, your fingers now clammy where they grip the phial. You let your mind wander to that, preoccupied with the thought of tonight while you fetch some necessities. Jisung is dutifully quiet the entire trek, following at an appropriate length all the way down to the riverside.

You think he has similarly sobered, so quiet behind you as you step through the trees to the water. The grass turns to sand and pebbles beneath your feet, crunching with every step.

Your mind is far away, thinking of your very precarious position, how you can slip the king sleeping draft tonight, if it is even worth it to prolong the inevitable. You doubt he will ever change his feelings for you. You cannot be so demure and loving that a man with no respect for humanity will somehow see special humanity in you.

Your gaze rests on the flowing river and the setting sun. Streak of of orange and lavender flow over the water. The breeze is laced with an evening chill, brushing a curl off your shoulder.

You realize the gentle touch is actually Jisung. You shiver as his fingertips follow the tumbling curl down your back, until he is not even touching you but you still feel the proximity. It moves through you with an intensity far more powerful than the king’s threatening glower.

This warmth is not terror, a different heat that rushes and burns with startling efficiency.

“What can I do?” he asks in that careful, low voice.

You remember him behind you just like this, supporting your body, the look on his face and the feel of him as you discovered more pleasure than you ever knew existed. You are amazed that it is not the most preached phenomenon of them all, that the gods would bestow such a gift on humanity. You cannot imagine what you would have done without the revelation. The immensity of it all has you shivering.

“You’ve already done so much,” you say.

“I’ll come to you after,” he says, words flowing in a nervous rush. “I’ll help you. Whatever you need – if you’re – if something happens – I can come. The king won’t care if it’s just me. I’m just bard boy, ha-ha, I don’t – it won’t matter, at least—”

You turn around. His breath catches as your eyes meet. His hand is trembling but he drops it to his side. His eyes dart to the empty treeline and back.

“Bard boy,” you whisper with a smile, teasing. “The king may believe otherwise, but you are most assuredly admired by your queen.”

“You—” He looks at the still-empty treeline then you again. He is so clearly flustered. On a startled, nervous laugh, he says, “You can’t say things like that to me.”

“Why not?”

He kisses you, a reply made with no hesitation.

He cups a hand around your jaw, fingers firm on your neck with a guiding pull. The kiss is more than a touch. If kisses can be whispers, this is a song, rhythmic and grand.

Your knees nearly buckle beneath you. This is your third kiss but it feels like first and the thousandth, the natural way you move together, gasps of breath and pressing lips. His hand moves under your hair, cupping the back of your neck. Your own hand raises, fingertips stroking his jaw then resting between his neck and shoulder.

He makes a noise into the kiss, tilting his head, kissing you with so much intensity that you both stumble. His eyes widen at his own actions, a hand covering his mouth as he looks at the treeline. His startled expression makes you burst into giggles.

“That was my fault,” he says, throwing his hands into a surrender, then raking them through his hair until it is a dishevelled mess. “My fault, my fault, it’s fine, it’s fine.” He makes a series of faces while muttering to himself, giggling nervously at you, then walking away to stand guard.

You turn your back to him, hiding your smile as you touch your lips. Somehow a kiss provided all the courage you needed to decide, yes, it will be worth prolonging the king’s advances. You and Jisung are already outsmarting him, his arrogant eye turned to the wrong kingsguard, and you will continue to find ways to do so. The sleeping draft was made by a friend and you know you will develop more. Perhaps alone you cannot combat a king, but you are not alone.

For now, you will play his game. A quick wash will feel good after the long day in the summer sun regardless of intention.

You strip down to your shift as is appropriate for a queen bathing out-of-doors. It is about the only appropriate protocol, as you should have more company than solitary male guard, even a kingsguard. It is not surprising the king has you left you bereft of any ladies, forgoing introductions, actively discouraging his nobles. That is something you will remedy yourself in the capital.

For now, you are not mad it is just you and Jisung. You glance at him while disrobing, catching his eye, smiling at his flustered blush as he looks away again.

You pile your curls as high as you can, then step to the water. Even though there is a chill in the air, the water is warm because the hot sun has been pouring down all day. You suspect it will be colder to emerge than to enter. For now, it is comfortable as it laps at the foot of your shift, darkening the hem as you walk.

You find a smooth boulder to perch on, grateful to use one of your own soaps from home as you scrub your skin. The breeze is sharp against your wet skin so you sink into the water up to your shoulders, paddling around for a little bit as you let the day wash off you.

The sunset has lost its golden traces, the sky melting from orange to pink, and you let yourself admire the colours as they swirl overhead.

When you look at Jisung, he is already staring at you. He is sitting on a rock, fiddling with the hilt of his sword in an absent-minded distraction. He exhales heavily when you look at him.

“What is it?” you ask.

“I—” He laughs then thuds the heel of his palm against his forehead in a punishing little smack. “Nothing,” he says. He looks at the ground then slowly at you, his gaze moving across the shimmering water before tracing up your shoulders, neck, and face. “I just hope no one tries to attack us right now. Because honestly?” He lets go of the hilt to show his hand, revealing the slight tremble. He immediately crosses his arms, tucking his hands under them. “I don’t think I’d be much help,” he finishes with a laugh.

“Don’t worry,” you say, matching his smile. “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Oh,” he says. “Good.”

You smile at each other for another moment. It is disturbed when you hear the king shouting about food, far into the distance. A couple of birds fly out of the trees and away. You spread your arms in the water and watch them go, wishing it was that easy.

“We should go back,” Jisung says, though he sounds as uneasy as he looks, biting his bottom lip, his big eyes as shiny and concerned as ever.

The water is not very deep. When you stand, it comes below your hips. You squeak, a mousey and unqueenly sound, as the evening chill swarms you.

“Oh goodness,” you say, too distracted with the cold to think of much else. “Robe, please.”

Jisung is a very capable soldier. You have witnessed it firsthand. Where most of the kingsguards appear to specialize in certain skills, he has so far proven to be a master of everything.

He trips over his own feet now. He slides clumsily across the gravel, drawing a sharp line in the sand. He manages to remain upright, only just, muttering to himself as he picks up the robe you requested.

He steps to the water’s edge, the robe under his arm. He holds out a hand to help guide you forward, but he is very distracted with looking at the rest of you, so he keeps accidentally moving it out of reach.

You finally clasp his wandering hand. Only then does he lift his frantic gaze to your eyes.

This is your second time emerging from water in nothing but a shift, the light material leaving nothing to the imagination. Last time, you were shy and embarrassed, but it seems a bit silly to be modest now considering what he has seen. Furthermore, you do not feel embarrassed, not with the way he looks at you. The shift clings to every curve, nearly translucent, more so with the chill as the sensitive peaks of your breasts pebble against the wet white fabric.

His eyes dart there again, his mouth open. He doesn’t say anything. With a bit of struggle, he manages to say, “Ahhhh…?”

“Robe, please,” you say again, amused. Truthfully, you are not as cold under his gaze, flushed with a tingling warmth that conquers the other senses.

“Fuck,” Jisung says, shaking his head as he wraps the robe around your shoulders. “Sorry for cursing, pretend you didn’t hear it.”

Now that he is speaking, the words come in a breathless stream. It comes from an honest, human subconscious that a kingsguard should have under control, but which he has evidently relinquished from mental bondage.

“I can hit him on the head,” Jisung says. “I mean – fuck. I can’t do that, obviously. He’s the king. I wouldn’t do that – but also I would, if you asked. If you ask then it’s fine because I’d do anything for the queen. I should obey the queen. I must protect her. Then again, if I hit him on the head, It could go wrong, and he could die, then I didn’t just hit the king but killed him, and kingsguards aren’t supposed to do that. Well, sometimes they do, but that’s very rare and definitely not the bard’s call. I shouldn’t kill the king, even if you ask, right? Right. Fuck. Sorry for cursing. You wouldn’t ask that anyway, even if he deserves it – ah! I didn’t say that. Maybe if I get him drunk instead then he won’t be able to – you know–”

He lifts his finger, a rather impolite mime of a rising erection, which he realizes is a very rude gesture to make in front of the queen. He throws his hands together in a prayer position instead.

“By which I mean,” he says, “Nothing. I meant none of that at all. Unless you say otherwise, my queen. Then I meant it all.”

It is silent save the sound of the river lapping at the shore. His hands are still clasped for prayer and you are holding the robe closed. He blinks at you. You are already smiling.

“Right,” he says. “Umm… Fuck.”

You pat him on the arm, stepping around him. You go to your possessions and kneel down to find the phial.

“I wasn’t going to ask for help,” you say. “I fear I have already put you in a precarious enough position as is—”

“You haven’t done anything,” he says, quick and sharp. His black robes swish with the swiftness of his spin. He marches to where you are knelt down.

You look up at him, your hand closed around the phial, but he does not see it. His eyes are on your face.

“My queen,” Jisung says. He crouches down so you can look at each other. “I’m a lot better with words when I’m singing, especially a story about someone else. That’s easy. But I—” He stares into your eyes. His shoulders fall with an exhale, his expression softening just as surely. “I wouldn’t go back to the easy I knew days ago. I know I’m a mess now. I don’t know what’s happening anymore, or what’s going to happen soon, but—”

He looks at the treeline. It is still empty, of course. The king does not see the pretty bard boy as a threat to his dignity. He is probably brooding and glaring at Hyunjin and Chan while it is Jisung who lays a hand on your cheek. Jisung captures you more completely than the king could do with iron.

“It’s probably wrong to say,” Jisung speaks in a low voice, his face close to yours. A tuft of dark hair falls near his brown eyes. “It’s too selfish for a kingsguard or any mortal to say, but… You said it first, that you feel the gods when we’re together.” His thumb strokes your cheek and it might as well be a lightning bolt launched from the heavens, wracking your whole body with a shiver. “I feel it too,” he says. “I think I’m supposed to be here. My life, the war, becoming a kingsguard, a – a – a queensguard – it was supposed to happen. The gods led us here and we made it happen, and the gods allowed us, so we must – it must – it can’t be completely wrong, right? When the king is like that, and you are like this.”

You are everything I ever dreamed of worshipping, he told you two nights ago, before you ever kissed, before you even really touched.

“You’re worth a thousand kings, Han Jisung,” you say.

It is confident amidst his stammering and it makes his eyes go wide. You brush the hair away from those eyes.

“I don’t know what will happen either,” you say. “I know the king will try something untoward sooner than later, whether I am faithful and obedient or not. I believe it is thus appropriate to reserve my faith and loyalty to that which I pray directly.”

You turn your face and kiss his palm. You look at him from the corner of your eye, watching his breath catch as his eyes are bound to where your lips touch his skin.

You wonder if he is so flushed because he is remembering how you said physical love was like prayer. Hearing your words now, seeing and feeling your kiss, he seems to stop breathing entirely.

“And in such a case as that,” you say, “I believe I would like at least once more night to pray for answers.”

You open your hand and reveal the phial. His gaze drops. His eyebrows leap comically high as he looks between you and the bottle.

He snatches it, looking at the treeline, then whispering so frantically that his voice breaks again, “Is that poison? Where in the name of all the gods did you get poison?”

You cup his face with both hands, laughing helplessly at his expression. You stroke your thumbs across his cheeks and it lessens his panic.

“It’s not poison,” you whisper. “It’s just a sleeping draft.”

“A sleeping draft,” he says, words a little slurred as his cheeks are squished in your hands. He looks down at the phial again, then at you. “Well,” he says and gets to his feet. He adjusts his sword belt, swishes the length of his robe and clears his throat. “You could have started with that,” he says.

You are laughing as he helps you to your feet.

Thanks to your friend’s sleeping draft and Jisung’s help, you escape the king unscathed for another night.

Jisung completes his task in the only way Han Jisung would and could: with a great deal of theatricality.

The sun is nearly set and everyone is gathered around the fire pits. The king is with his inner circle, guarded by Changbin. After changing into a clean dress, you sit with the remaining kingsguards. The meal is simple, meat cooked in a spicy broth. Apparently, esteemed kingsguard leader Bang Chan is tragically intolerant towards heavy spice, a fact you learn because the others relentlessly tease him.

It makes him crack a smile, the first one all day. He has charmingly deep dimples when he lets himself go. You are sitting beside him and the sight delights you.

In the midst of comforting food and friendly laughter, Chan looks at you. While the others are rowdy and distracted, he takes a moment to say, “I’ll guard the king’s tent tonight,” he says. “Find me, yeah? If you need… anything.”

“Thank you,” you say, genuinely touched.

His chivalry will not be required, however. Moments after he says that, the king starts screaming.

“You incompetent mongrel!” he shouts, clear across the campsite, scaring another pair of birds.

The kingsguards are quickly on their feet, food and jibes forgotten.

You stay sitting, slurping your soup.

“Your Holy Majesty, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, a thousand times sorry,” Jisung says to the king.

You glance over there, watching as Jisung alternates between bowing and scooping up the bits of meat that splattered on the ground when he knocked over the king’s bowl of soup.

When Jisung told you he would take care of administering the sleeping draft, he did not tell you his plan, maybe assuming you would not like it. You cannot honestly say you are happy to see him intentionally drawing the king’s anger, but it is certainly a fair strategy. The king is too surrounded to truly sneak up on him. He is, however, very easy to antagonize.

Jisung tries to hold out a dirty piece of meat as offering. The king slaps it out of his hand. Jisung looks at it with dramatically wide eyes.

“I swear to the gods, kingsguard—” the king says, raising his hand as if to strike Jisung.

Jisung bows again, holding up his hands in supplication.

“I apologize, your Holiness,” he says, bowing some more as he grabs the king’s empty bowl. He remains bent over while scampering around. “It was an accident. I’ll get you more food. Forgive me, sire, I’m a worthless dog, I’m a flea on a dog, I’m a flea on a flea on a dog—”

The king kicks at him as Jisung scampers off to get more soup. The other kingsguards sit back down, either laughing at the nonsense of shaking their heads, chalking it up to Jisung being a little clumsy and silly.

You slurp some more soup.

The king only makes it halfway through his meal before he falls asleep. The remainder of his soup splashes onto the ground when the bowl falls out of his lap, so fortunately no one else ingests it.

No one seems bothered by the peculiarity of his sudden slumber. This seems to a combination of the exhausting day and simple relief that there is no more yelling.

Chan, Changbin, and Minho carry the king back to his tent where he will sleep alone and where you will not be visiting any time soon.

Seungmin is assigned the first shift to guard your tent but Jisung escorts you while Seungmin is still finishing his meal. You and Jisung walk side by side, saying nothing suspicious or untoward. Nothing beyond his wink and your smile, at least.

“Was the king this bad on the journey over?” you ask while Jisung unties the clasps of your tent.

“Almost worse,” Jisung admits. “He doesn’t like travelling. And you already know he wasn’t, um, happy with the wedding, heh. Now everything with Felix—”

“Right,” you say, watching as the last clasp comes undone. “I suppose an affair can change a man.”

“So I’ve heard,” he says.

The tent opens. There is a lit lantern inside, brightening the night with golden warmth. The interior is simple, though marginally more comfortable than the average tent. It is tall enough you can walk around without ducking. The ground is neatly covered, a thick bedroll unfurled in the middle of the space. It looks as inviting as it can be, blankets draped across the long cushion, a pillow at the head. One of your smaller trunks is in the room. There is a low table and a cushion beneath it, a tea pot and cup in wait. The lantern sits on the ground, near the bed.

You look at each other.

It would require only a step out of the darkness and into the light, then he could kiss you again. Only a step, yet a serious one with real ramifications.

Despite all that, you want him as you have never wanted anything before. You want him so much that you learned how to want. Before him, you were numb but content. Now you feel every prickling tingle of a hair standing on edge, the anticipation twisting inside you, and the flush of heat that moves through you when his eyes move to your lips.

“I—” he starts and never finishes.

You can see the complicated gears and cogs spinning in his head. You think of him on his knees before you, kissing your hands, shaking with desperation. Every kiss is both a gift and a surrendering, the forging of a serious vow in the breaking of another. You want him but not in the way a king wants his kingdom, not with a selfish and possessive cruelty, and not with a command.

“I enjoy your company,” you say. “When Seungmin takes his post, would you play some music for me? It would make me happy.”

He releases a breath.

“Yes,” he says, smiling at you. “Yes, that would make me happy too.”

Jisung stands guard until Seungmin arrives, then he leaves to fetch his guitar. You dress down for the evening, removing your layers and letting your curls loose. You sit on the bedroll in nothing but your shift. It goes without saying that it does a better job of modesty when it is dry. The recollection of Jisung’s staring makes your cheeks feel hot.

You are smiling down at your embroidery when he returns. There is only a brief conversation between him and Seungmin, the latter somewhat perplexed by his presence. It is not inappropriate for a kingsguard to guard the royal personage from inside the tent, but it has not been deemed necessary, nor has Jisung been posted.

Jisung lets the guitar does most of the talking. It is very persuasive.

Moments later, Jisung is inside the tent, lacing it closed again, the guitar on his back. Somehow, the lacing of the tent ties feel even sturdier than a lock. It would take a long time for someone to undo it, making it nearly impossible to sneak up on you.

You suspect it would also take you a long time to become conscious of the real world. Jisung is not kissing you, not even touching you, just moving inside the same small space as you, and you are already distractingly rivetted.

So distracted, you poke your finger on a needle. You put your finger in your mouth to catch and wipe the tiny pinprick of blood. You look at Jisung as he sits. He does not sit on the bedroll, just beside it on the ground.

His eyes flick to your mouth, his face a little flushed.

“Ha-ha,” he speaks it more than laughs it. “Right. Music. Um.”

The first strum of the guitar feels very loud in this small space, making your heart jump. The alarm slows to a gradual stop as you let the gentle plucking of each string soothe you. He hums softly until you are visibly comfortable with the sound, then he starts to sing too.

He starts with a familiar ballad, famous enough it reached your land at the borders. The next song you do not know but he has hummed snippets here and there over the past couple days. The third song is about you, though it takes a second to realize it. Your eyes are on your embroidery, knotting little loops of cherry blossom petals, when you realize the ‘mermaid in white with curly hair’ who has ‘wanting eyes for the soldier on the shore’ is maybe not so distant or fantastical as the lyrics might imply.

You look at him, flicking your gaze to the sealed tent flap as if to remind him that others can hear. He grins innocently and keeps singing, your story hidden in the details of some fictional recreation.

Hearing his interpretation of your supposed thoughts makes you laugh. He is often doing everything to make you laugh. Hearing the thoughts of the soldier on the shore stirs rather differently, your heart palpitating as he sings about longing and terror. Both those feelings seem to torment the soldier, a man equal parts integrity, desire, and fear.

The lyrics trail off though he keeps strumming the guitar. You suppose the story is not yet finished.

The melody changes a little. He hums to chase it, perhaps crafting another song in his mind.

You look at your cherry blossoms, listening to him, remembering the first time he sang to you. He had never even spoken to you. You did not know him at all. You were alone and miserable, sulking in the dark, and he jumped into the light and touched you with his music.

It feels like so much has changed even while technically nothing has. You are still married to the king. You have both sworn oaths.

His music still touches you.

Your vision blurs, then the first teardrop plunks onto a cherry blossom. He notices immediately, just like he was the only one to see your tears at the ceremony. The music comes to an abrupt stop, a suspended note awkwardly fractured. He puts the guitar aside and gets on his knees, leaning over your embroidery to lift your face.

You sniffle, smiling at him through your tears.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I’m not even crying because of the sad things.”

“That’s okay,” he says, his face as morose. He tries to smile softly, though his brow is still pinched with concern. “You can cry,” he says. “If it will make you feel better.”

Yes, you think it will. You have too long repressed feeling. You are allowed to be angry and passionate and sad. Crying will not necessarily solve all your problems, but it will empty the clutter of your mind and soul.

You let it wash away, then you let him wipe your eyes.

“Thank you,” you say, wiping the last teardrop as he sits back.

He picks up his guitar, though he just looks at it, running his hand along the neck while you tidy up your embroidery tools. He looks from his art to yours, blinking at the cherry blossoms.

“What are you making?” he asks.

“Just bits and pieces, really,” you say. “Spring is my favourite season. It’s beautiful back home, with the blossoms and warm rain showers. Everything sparkles all the time.”

If you had not already cried, thinking of home might have done it. You just sniffle and lay the fabric down. You smile at him.

“What’s your favourite season?” you ask.

“Mine?” His eyebrows lift. His mouth is open as he looks for an answer, then he glances at your embroidery and laughs. “Spring,” he says.

You swat his arm and he playfully howls, clutching it.

“You can’t just say that because it’s mine,” you say.

“Why not?” he asks, still laughing.

“Because!”

“All right, all right,” he says. He taps his chin with great contemplation. “Autumn? No, no, it’s gross in the capital then. The rain doesn’t sparkle there, not in the fall. It sort of just – pings.” He makes a high-pitched sound on the word, miming each droplet as it tumbles. “Let’s see then – it’s not autumn and spring is forbidden to me. Ah, winter? No. No. Guard duty in the winter is the worst. Oops, I’m not supposed to say that – of course being a kingsguard is a blessing, and I can’t wait to experience the next winter, Amen.” He opens his palms and pretends to pray, then bows his head before continuing. “So it’s not those. Then, ah, let me think. What’s left? Hmmm…”

You are already giggling when he leans towards you, grinning.

“Remind me,” he says. “What’s left?”

“Summer, of course,” you say.

“Ah, of course. Let’s think. It’s hot, muggy, and the rain doesn’t help either of those things. Everything feels a bit like soup. But…”

“But…?” You lean towards him as well, playfully eager like this is the most important secret he could reveal.

“But…” His eyes drop momentarily to your smile. “That’s when we met.”

You look from his mouth to his eyes. The joining of your gazes makes everything feel very quiet, slow, and warm. Nothing exists past the golden light beside you.

“Yes,” he says. “Summer. I think I used to hate it. I think I’ll never hate it again.”

“That’s funny,” you say. “I feel the same way.”

“Well, you can’t,” he says, abruptly teasing again. “Because that’s my favourite, and you can’t just pick it because I did.”

Your laughs turns into a snort and you quickly cover your mouth. He laughs at the sound though he tries to stifle it.

You swat each other, trying and failing to keep the laughter down. A kingsguard keeping watch or a bard playing music is one thing, but giggling with the queen is a little different.

Your embroidery is between you and he accidentally puts his hand on it. He hisses like he was run through with a sword rather than pinpricked with a sewing needle.

“Oh my goodness,” you say, shaking your head with playful irritation. You gather your embroidery things and place them out of reach so there are no more accidents. “Silly,” you say. “Big strong guard, you are. It couldn’t have hurt that much.”

“It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt,” he says with dramatically sad eyes and a spectacular pout.

“Oh, I’m sure,” you say, taking his hand. It is not even bleeding. Still, you bring it to your mouth.

You do not intend to be seductive. You are truly just playing, intending to wet his finger against your lips and tease him some more. The moment your lips touch his skin, however, the whole energy inside the tent changes. If you did not know better, you would say the earth itself tilted.

You look at him while taking the tip of his finger in your mouth. His smile vanishes too, those dark eyes suddenly smouldering in the lamplight. Your heart is pounding so hard that it wakes up the rest of your body. When you kiss that fingertip again, moving your mouth, making no mistake of its deliberateness, your heart seems to plummet as well. It drops right between your legs where it continues to pound, sending heat in every direction, so stark and sure that it makes you want to double over.

“Jisung,” you say, your lips a little wet.

He does not have far to go, cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss. You clasp his shoulders, closing your eyes and kissing him back. You would not notice an intruder, nor even a fire, not even a god walking the earth. You lose yourself completely, even more than those precious kisses from before. Maybe it is knowing you are truly alone, that the king is out cold, that it is nighttime and you are in your shift and he is right here, and it would be so easy to lay down and—

“I—” He abruptly breaks the kiss. He still looks lost in it, eyes half-open, face tinged with a blush. He pushes his fingers through his hair and shakes his head like that will pull him out of it.

He looks at you then at your mouth, then he falls right back in. His eyes close and he moans when he kisses you, like it is rearranging him. He cups your face with both hands and guides the kiss, opening his mouth, inexpertly but hungrily. You follow just as inexpertly but just as passionately. You make a sound of your own, higher and lighter, sweet in the kiss as he licks into your open mouth.

He is affected, either by the sound or your taste or your tongue against his. He pulls back with a shuddering gasp, like he forgot to breathe the whole time. You think you forgot too, breathing much harder than before.

“I—I’m so—” he says, forcing himself to look away. He stares down at the lantern. His eyes look a little wet, verging on tears as well. He pushes his hand into his hair and keeps it there, the dark locks messy around his fingers.

“Jisung,” you whisper his name, touching his shoulder, then his face. “Jisung, I know. This is – this is all crazy.” He looks at you, eyes still sad, hand still shoved in his hair. “I know,” you say. “You’re not alone. I know this is complicated.” You stammer, tripping over your racing heart. You cup his face and stroke his cheek. “I’m not asking for anything but what you want to give me.”

“I know,” he whispers. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of me. Of what I want to give. It would be—” He finally lets go of his hair. It takes a second to fall back into place after being pushed for so long, falling messily across his forehead. “It would be easier,” he says again, “if I didn’t want to, at all. But I—”

It is certainly easier for him to speak in song. He conveyed so much as a soldier on the shore, longing and terror in equal parts. Yes, that is all over his face as he looks at you, even if he cannot articulate it like this. He just breathes. He tilts his head and looks at you. He is right, that this would all be easier if that expression was not so tender and loving.

“What about you?” he asks. “What do – what do you want to – give?”

“Jisung,” you say, almost laughing, because isn’t it obvious? “I want to give you everything.”

You thought that was so obvious but his look says otherwise, that he is surprised and taken back and overcome.

“I believe,” you say, “that even though we are surrounded by danger, my heart and my body would be truly safe with you.”

“Oh,” he says. He gazes back at you for a time, then he looks down. He takes your hand. His eyes closed, he brings it to his mouth and kisses your palm. He holds it to his face after, eyes still closed, clearly thinking very hard. When he straightens, he says, “It is. But when it comes to me, I—” He laughs without much humour, his expression rather withering and his tone self-deprecating. “I think I’m broken beyond help. I think I always have been. I don’t even have a good reason why. I just know I feel worthless if I don’t cling to the only vow that has ever meant anything and you – and I – and—”

“You’re safe with me too,” you say gently. “Whatever that looks like, Jisung. Whether you think it’s broken or not, I’ll take care of it all.”

He nods, sharp and quick. He rests his forehead against yours. You close your eyes and stay there, just breathing until your racing hearts are under control again. He kisses your forehead before standing. You stand as well, mostly to see that your legs still work, everything fuzzy after all that.

He picks up his guitar and goes to the tent entrance. He unlaces it carefully, then looks at you before parting it. His expression is fond, his mouth open with some parting words, but his eyes widen and he swallows whatever gentle words were on his lips. You look over your shoulder, wondering what surprised him, but there is nothing there.

“What is it?” you ask, smiling when he does.

“Ah, uh, you—” He points behind you with the guitar. There is still nothing there. When you lift an eyebrow at him, he giggles. “Um, the light,” he says. “Behind you – it, um.”

Oh. The lantern is shining right through your thin white shift. Perhaps it is not reliable for modesty even when dry, turning almost invisible as it reveals the shape of everything beneath the fabric.

“Well,” you say, brushing the material out. “I suppose it’s nothing you haven’t seen.”

“Yes,” he says, breathlessly. His eyes move down your body and up again. It is such a thorough, thinking regard, that you think he might be changing his mind. Then he swallows, closes his eyes, and bows his head. He departs without another word.

You do not listen if he and Seungmin speak some more. You douse the lantern and climb under your blankets. You thought you had tempered yourself, but that last look was hungrier and more powerful than a kiss. With the image of him so fresh and clear in your mind, and with the tent securely laced shut again, you slide a hand beneath the covers and whisper his name again and again.

You wake in the middle of the night. You do not know what time but it is nowhere near daylight, the world in darkness all around the tent. You went to sleep to some bustling noise in the camp but now it is silent so you believe it hours have passed.

Your eyes adjust to the midnight blue, making out the shape of your table and trunk, the unlit lantern. The only light is outside the tent, the guard posted with a lantern of his own. He is holding it in the air so you can see his silhouette.

Two silhouettes.

It takes a moment for your groggy mind to catch up but it does. You realize there is a hushed argument happening on the other side of the tent. You realize you are also correct about the hour, because it is late enough that there was a guard change. That is not Seungmin’s voice or silhouette outside the tent, but Minho.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Minho whispers, in obvious agitation. “She’s sleeping. Why would I let you into the queen’s tent?”

“I just want to see her.” That voice is unmistakably Jisung. You would recognize his voice anywhere. Your heart wakes faster than your mind.

“In the middle of the night?” Minho asks. “Are you crazy?”

“Yes!” Jisung whispers back, with a high-pitched strain. “I am! Now let me see her!”

“What kind of argument is that?” Minho asks.

“I just—” Jisung sighs. You watch his silhouette, his hands moving through the air as he gestures at nothing. “I’ve been thinking—”

“I get that’s new for you,” Minho says dryly, “But the queen can be alerted to this miracle tomorrow.”

“And I just need to see her,” Jisung finishes. “Because – because I only have half my thoughts when I’m not with her. Like the world is only half full and I’m only—” He jabs his chest, exhales heavily. “Only half whole.”

The lantern lowers slightly, Minho seemingly losing power as his arm lowers.

“Please,” Jisung says. “I’m just going to talk to her. I’ll be fast. She won’t mind. The king will be passed out until noon at least. This is just – I need to see her.”

“I hate you,” Minho says. “If I hear even one disgruntled squeak from her, I’m considering it permission to kill you for being a nuisance.”

“I can’t wait to haunt you forever,” Jisung says, clapping him on the shoulder with a friendly pat.

Minho shrugs him off. The lantern swings away as Minho stalks back to his post. He plunks the light on the ground.

You can no longer see his silhouette but you can hear as the tent unlaces. Each slip of a tie has your heartbeat skipping. You prop yourself up your elbows, watching slivers of moonlight slip into the tent. Eventually the tent is undone enough that Jisung can step inside, then he grumbles and swears to himself as he laces it back up again.

You sit all the way upright but he does not see you. At first, he is preoccupied with the laces. Then, once the tent is secure, he turns around. Your eyes are adjusted to the darkness so you see him perfectly, but his are not adjusted and he evidently has no idea you are awake and upright and staring at him.

He seems to go through a myriad of emotions, his face an entire theatrical spectacle in the span of thirty seconds. Then he curses and turns around and reaches for the laces, having seemingly lost all his nerves, intent on departing again.

“Jisung?” you say.

It makes him jump, shoulders leaping. He slowly turns around to face you. He still does not see you properly, squinting through the dark, but you think your general shape is taking form. He faces the correct angle, at least.

“Um, yes?” he asks.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Oh, that,” he says. “Right. Um. You see. I was thinking about everything you said. And everything I said. And did. And we did. And the king said and did. And I was just – I was thinking – what I mean is.” He clasps his hands together and punctuates his words with a pointed gesture. “The. reason. I. am. here.”

He lets his arms fall to his side. You think he can see you because his eyes finally find yours.

He should be a terrifying figure in the dark, all long dark robes with a shiny sword at his hip. You are not scared. His hands are the ones shaking, his eyes wide.

“Yes?” you say softly, encouraging.

He takes a step forward. His hand rests on the hilt of his sword out of habit, no doubt a consolation to his nerves. He looks down at it, seems to contemplate it like it has answers, or maybe just more questions. Eventually, he reaches into his robes and undoes the sword belt. You watch with baited breath as the sword falls into his hand.

He crouches, laying the sword on the ground. On one knee, looking at the sword, then looking at you, he unclasps the top layer of his robes.

“I think,” he says, “I’m here to pray.”

You are quickly out of the covers, crawling down the bedroll towards him. He drops his other knee so he is kneeling upright at the foot of your bed, his robes open to the dark layer underneath, his chest rising and falling as quickly as his heart must be racing.

You get up on your knees too, hands floating between you as you take a second to just look at each other. His mouth is open like he has more to say but he never finds the words. You think they have all been said and they are better encapsulated in a kiss.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in. His hands find your waist, at first with the chivalrous touch of a guard, the same way he has been holding your waist when he helps you from here to there. Then the kiss deepens and your eyes close. His tongue pushes against yours and his hands are searching, squeezing, feeling the shape of every curve under his palm.

He says your name, not your title. Your shift is messily gathered in his fists. He kisses you softly, just a peck, then another, then those kisses move across your face and down your neck. You sink your fingers into his hair, holding him there as he kisses a long, hot kiss against your throat. You feel it all the way down between your thighs, liquid heat and a pounding need. You scratch at his scalp as his open mouth moves across your skin and he moans.

“Shh,” you say gently, his voice softening against your neck, just a light sound as he licks the place he kissed.

You want to tear the robe off his body but you don’t want to startle him, his hands already shaking where they move over your clothed body. You decide to go first, already more comfortable with it.

You always thought disrobing for a lover would be petrifying, aghast at the thought of ever baring yourself to a husband. Well, perhaps that last part is still true. It is not difficult to share yourself with Jisung. You like the way he looks at you, like he is writing songs of worship in his head.

You lean back and smile at him. He looks flushed and messy, his lips wet. He blinks at you, though his gaze lowers when you gather the hem of your shift and lift. His mouth is hanging open when you toss it to the side.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen me before,” you whisper, laughing lightly.

“That was different,” he says. “I couldn’t really look. I tried not to look. I knew if I did, I’d want to touch you. I tried to pray instead. But I can’t hear the gods when you’re not near me. Now—” His hand moves up your naked side, skimming your curves, his eyes following the trail. He swipes his thumb across your breast and your back arches into him. “Now,” he says again, dipping his head, “I know where I was made to be.”

His mouth closes around the tip of your breast, already pert from stimulation, hardening further between his lips. He sweeps his tongue across your skin, moves to the other side. His hands move everywhere, up and down.

He slowly lays you on your back. He tears off his outer robe and leaves it on the ground, following you down. You will not push him for more, knowing already how much he is giving you, though one day you want to feel every inch of him, skin to skin. It will happen, you decide. One day, you will be in a bed, and there will be time, and you will never be done exploring.

He lets your put your hand under his shirt, scratching down his spine. His arms are bare so you squeeze those too. Your legs part to make room for his hips. You are kissing and you make a sound in each other’s mouths when he lowers his hips against you. You can feel him through the material of his trousers, like you could feel him that other night. Where he ran away that night, this time he lets your hand wander down. When you cup the hard shape of him in your palm, it makes your breath catch in an uneven stutter.

“Jisung,” you whisper, arching against him when he says your name back.

“Yes,” he says, pushing himself upright with shaking arms. He kneels between your open legs. He pushes his hair back and swallows as he looks down. His mouth moves but he doesn’t speak, though he does make a garbled noise while running his hands along the soft skin of your inner thighs.

That skin is very sensitive. You are already arching by the time his hand is on you. You have to cover your mouth. No amount of touching yourself could prepare you for his touch, his fingers rougher and calloused both from his sword and his guitar.

You are so wet for him. He makes a face like he can feel the pleasure of it even though it his fingers rubbing through all that wetness. He finds that place he showed you, as adept with the instrument of your body as he is with any other tool he puts in his hands. Just as he is always determined to make you laugh, he is now determined to give you pleasure. He grips your thigh in one strong hand and deftly moves his other thumb around and around that small centre of pleasure.

You twitch in his grip, still gasping with those short, stunted breaths. You can keep your voice down on your own but it requires more concentration now, swallowing those sounds as that pleasure breaks apart inside you. Your hips lift, chasing his touch, before you drop in shy retreat, oversensitive.

He grips both thighs, squeezing the soft flesh, then runs his fingertips back to their centre, then up, up the curve of your chest, touching your open mouth. You take his fingers in your mouth, nothing like before which was playful then uncertain and demure. You take them like you want to take everything, deep and wet and needy, moving your head, sucking them hard between your lips until he has to cover his own mouth to stop himself from being loud.

He takes his hand back. The other drops from his mouth. You look at each other, hearts racing. His hands are shaking again as he reaches for the ties of his trousers, fumbling more than a little.

You sit up to help. With him kneeling upright, it puts your face at a rather advantageous position. His fingers get even more clumsy until he is no help at all, leaving it to you to unlace.

You look up at him, holding his gaze. This is certainly not the wedding night you were ever prepared to participate in. You were instructed to lay back and wait, then it would happen and be over. That could not be more different than your searching hands, eager to feel him, your eyes on any sliver of skin he shows you.

Once the trousers are unlaced, there is little hiding, the fabric falling open and everything inside lifting up. Truthfully, you are nervous but also emboldened with passionate wanting. You are aware you are about to do something that cannot be reversed in the eyes of the law.

I’m the queen, you think. I make my own law.

You touch him as he lays you back down. When you are on your back, you rest your hands at your sides, your legs open around him, hair spread out underneath you.

He pushes his trousers down his hips. He looks into your face for as long as he can but eventually he needs to look down. He curses to himself as he is a little clumsy again, trying to guide himself to your entrance. He finds it but your body is resistant even though you are so wet. You wince a little but shake your head when he stops, telling him to keep going, please, please, please.

You can only imagine how painful this would have been with the king. Well, that man will never be your first, no matter what he tries in future. It will always be Han Jisung, slowly pushing inside you, his face buried in your neck, murmuring your name as he fills you to utter completion.

You almost cry when he is all the way inside you, not even from the tenderness but just the rightness. You cling to him, sliding a hand down the back of his shirt. He rocks his hips a little, kissing your neck when you whimper.

“It’s okay,” he says, lifting his face to look at you. He kisses your lips, a few short pecks that leave you wanting more. He stares down into your face like he can hardly believe you are real. “I have you,” he says. “I have you.”

He knows how to listen beyond words, hearing every cry and request of your body, even if you cannot articulate it. He is careful until that tender burn lessens, careful for his own sake too, muttering the occasional oath when you squeeze around him. it soon really does sound like praying with how often he calls the gods and you.

You kiss him, moaning into his mouth, probably clawing up his shoulders as he starts to understand how to roll his hips. Those scratches won’t matter because he’s a kingsguard and he will be completely covered tomorrow. Only you will know his back is a canvas of your pleasure, fingers bruising and nails raking desperately as he takes you, deeply, thoroughly.

“I’m – I can’t – inside,” he says between breaths, face scrunched up as he nears his pleasure.

“I know,” you say, but whimper helplessly. “One day.”

That makes him moan deeply, a sharp thrust into you, then he is quickly pulling out. It just takes a single stroke from his hand before he finishes too. It is more than you knew it would be, a white streak that falls across the soft skin of your belly. It takes a second for the sight to register for him, then he squeaks and grabs his robe again.

Cleaning that off the queen is almost certainly not the intended use of the kingsguard robes, but it makes the most sense, as he is more likely to be able to clean it without any questions. Still, he seems to realize just how sacrilegious it is, looking at the black fabric, then at you.

He smiles. It turns to a short laugh, a sound of disbelief.

“We…” he says.

“Yes,” you say, giggling too.

You are not sure if he is more amazed with you or himself. It certainly takes him a moment to stop looking so shocked, even though he was the one who walked in here.

He comes to his senses, at least enough to lay down in your arms for a time.

He can’t sleep here but you hold him for a while and he is happy to let you, his head pillowed on the softness of your breasts, his arms around your middle. He turns his face and kisses your skin, just a chaste kiss, but there is a fire simmering beneath your skin now and you fear it will never be doused.

You sit up together. You kiss his bare arm, right up to where the shoulder of his shirt gets in the way. He looks at you, appreciative, fond, and a little less scared.

“We need to be careful,” he says.

“Of course,” you say.

“I can’t let anything happen to you,” he says, cupping your face. He brings it close to his, your noses touching.

“I know you won’t,” you say. “I’m safe in your hands, bard boy.”

He laughs then steals one final kiss. He doesn’t put the outer robe back on, giving you a chagrined smile while you giggle. You shuffle back into your shift while he stands up and re-ties his trousers. He smooths his hair as best he can. He hooks his swordbelt into place.

He looks somewhat more composed but not entirely untouched. You wonder if you look like that, if the change is all over your face and in the lines of your body. You can certainly feel it inside, both literally with the ache between your thighs, and also emotionally.

He unlaces the tent and looks at you again. He gives you one last departing smile before he steps out.

He has barely laced the tent shut before the lantern re-appears. You catch Minho’s silhouette, his hand swinging down to swat Jisung hard on the backside.

“Ouch!” Jisung jumps.

“That was not talking, you asshole,” Minho hisses.

Jisung, in much better spirits than his friend, simply plants a kiss on the other guard’s cheek and ruffles his hair. Even in silhouette form, Minho is clearly shocked by this. It takes him too long to retaliate, left standing there as Jisung skips away.

Minho shakes his head.

Smiling, you lay down to sleep, safe for tonight. With your growing allies, you are confident will you find a way to remain so.

#han jisung x reader #jisung x reader #han jisung smut #jisung smut #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids smut #skz smut #han jisung x you #stray kids x you #skz x you

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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 2 months ago

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Something Rotten

Pairing: Dark!QZ Joel x afab!reader x Dark!QZ Tess

Words count: 4300 (more or less)

Rating: + 18, absolutely NSFW. This shit is triggering, read the tags carefully and please if your a minor don’t interact.

Warnings/Tags: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, smut, heavy degradation, kidnapping, reader is tied to the bed with a rope, mention of strong painkillers, depressing thoughts, both Joel and Tess are EVIL, mention of offering sex in exchange for protection, Dub-con/non-con (well, she’s into that and I made sure to say that she’s deeply aroused but still), no kindness whatsoever, face slapping, being threatened with a gun and knife, blood, wound (Tess writes a word on Reader's body with a knife), pussy slapping, tits slapping, oral (m receiving), deep throating, scissoring, slurs (whore, slut), pet names (honey, baby, pet, kitten), mention of Robert (you know that prick at the beginning of the series who makes Tess get beaten up? That's him. but anyway he is the least of the problems in this thing), ripped panties, orgasm denial, cum eating, hair pulling, reader has hair that can be pulled, no other description of her is given, I think it’s all but I will be sure to add anything I may have forgotten as soon as I can.

A/N: Happy Halloween! This is indeed a nightmare of a fic LOL

Ok, enough, I'm getting serious again. I know it’s a lot, please don't read if you don't feel comfortable with those kind of things. I've never written anything like this before, it was a test for me because those who read me know, I'm usually very soft. I've started writing the second part if anyone wants to read it, I preferred to publish this first because it was getting pretty long (And I honestly want to see how this one goes before I continue lol). Sorry if you find any errors, I hope there aren't too many. I don't have a beta, I reread it but my eyes are exhausted at this point 💀 (English is not my first language, you know that, right? lol)

Again, no one is obligated to read but I wanted to thank those who provided me with the songs I listened to while writing this: @magneticecstasy @hoelaris @lovely-vamp-princess @baronessvonglitter @whocaresstillthelouvre and @almostempty for having called together her trusted connoisseurs 😎, you all are truly amazing ♥️ (Something Rotten is a Placebo song I added between your amazing music advices).

Playlist can be found here.

(While we're at it, if anyone would like to be tagged on my fics in the future, let me know, thank you very much!)

Thanks to anyone who reads this!

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

“Now what should we do with you?” Tess’s voice is sharp, with a smug undertone.

“Maybe we should get rid of her.” Joel is just as blunt, smiling wickedly as he watches you shake like a leaf.

There’s obvious disappointment painted on your face, as well as fear of what these two might do to you.

——————————————————-

You know Joel and Tess, everyone in the QZ knows them, at least everyone trying to make ends meet like you.

They’re the most skilled smugglers and also the most ruthless.

No one would want to have them as enemies, but you, due to circumstances beyond your control, just tried to steal some of their supplies. You heard they had just left the Qz to stock up, apparently they know someone outside.

You thought you were safe. Turned out you were wrong, they came back sooner than you expected.

You wouldn’t have made such a bold move if it weren’t for the fact that Robert died, killed by Tess, as far as you know.

You and Robert had a relationship, if you could call it that, he gave you protection in exchange for sex. You didn't like Robert, to be honest, guy was a piece of shit himself, but he was the lesser evil. He was generally stupid and driven by his dick rather than his brain so it was pretty easy for you to please him and make sure he kept you safe from the unrestrained FEDRA soldiers, who are anything but devoted to rules and discipline, and you never lacked food while you were with him, much more than some people in this seedy Qz had.

Batting your eyelashes and giving him head every now and then was enough to have what you needed.

Robert was a gun runner, people feared him, everyone except Joel and Tess who thought he was an incompetent and arrogant moron.

They weren't entirely wrong but everyone in this shithole of a place survives as best they can.

You should have relied on your own strength from the beginning but when you arrived here you were so tired, hurt, heartbroken from having lost all the people you cared about that leaning on someone seemed like an acceptable compromise.

You were desperate again after losing Robert, so hungry you barely remembered how food really tastes.

You snuck into their room, cursing your stomach that was growling loudly. You held your breath as the door creaked open to reveal a rather bare, makeshift mini-apartment. No one was there, so you tiptoed around looking for something edible. You noticed a floorboard that was a bit off. Bingo.

You lifted it up and found a stash of dried meat, along with several bags of pills and a gun.

You took some pills that you recognized as strong painkillers, just in case you might need them.

Your hand shook as you pulled out the plastic bag full of dried meat, your stomach giving you no respite.

And just as you were about to take a bite, you heard some noises.

Shit.

You looked around nervously for a place to hide but to no avail. The bed was resting on bricks and barely rose from the floor, too little room to slide under. There were no closets, no dressers or anything.

Shit.

You were screwed.

The footsteps you heard were getting closer and closer and in a total panic, not knowing what else to do, you cowered behind a couch, the dried meat still in your hand while the pills danced in your bra.

You were certain that you would be discovered in no time.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, a cold sweat was breaking out on your forehead. You squeezed your eyes shut in prayer even though you’ve never been a religious person.

Tess saw you first. “What do we have here?” she hissed. Joel caught sight of you next, your head awkwardly poking out from behind the couch.

Stupid stupid stupid.

“A thief,” he stated coldly, as he tugged at your jacket and pulled you out of your hiding place. Tess looked you up and down as you stared at the floor, terrified.

——————————————————-

“What the hell were you trying to do?” she asks you ironically, as if it makes her laugh. In fact, you feel ridiculous for even thinking you could get away with them, it would have been wiser to stay hungry while waiting to earn some cards.

Now you’re in troubles.

Big troubles.

You wanted to get the gun, but you couldn't and now you're standing in front of them, unarmed and scared as the barrel of Joel's gun is grazing at your cheek.

“I asked you a question,” Tess points out, “you better answer it.”

Joel hands the gun to Tess, tears the dried meat out of your hand and shove your arms behind your back, holding you tightly by your wrists, while Tess glares at you.

The gun is now before your eyes, shiny and threatening.

“I… was hungry” and then quickly add a “I’m sorry” that barely escapes your lips.

“So you’ve been working out this brilliant plan?” Joel teases, his deep voice giving you goosebumps.

After Joel suggests taking you out, Tess remains silent for a while, looking at you like a piece of meat “She’s pretty though,” and an even more chilling smile spread across her face, “fuck, you’re too pretty for being a rat”

“Yeah” Joel agrees “here’s a tip for you, honey, if you wanna screw someone try not to let your stupid ass show”

They exchange another knowing glance that doesn't bode well and Tess finally speaks “we could have some fun.”

Guided by self-preservation and fear, you widen your eyes and exclaim, “Oh no, please no!”

Tess places her hand under your chin, manipulating your face like a puppet, turning it left and right to inspect it. “You’re not sick, are you?”

You remain silent and after a few seconds you feel her open hand land on your cheek and an unbearable burning sensation spread across your skin.

What you feel immediately after is the cold steel of the gun under your chin.

“See, she doesn’t like it when people don’t answer her,” Joel whispers in your ear, adding more shivers to the ones already shaking your body.

You open your mouth, struggling to get out some sound. “No” is all you can say.

“Good,” Tess hisses. Joel’s grip on your wrists shows no sign of loosening and your cheek hurts like hell.

There’s no way out.

“Since you were stupid enough to try to sneak in, from now on you will stay here.” Tess announces to you, with a voice that does not allow protests “And you will be our little toy”

She runs a hand over your neck, goes down to your breast and squeezes it hard over your shirt “Do you understand?”

“Yes” you whisper immediately, fearing another blow.

You don’t have enough strength to rebel, you are weak while they are incredibly strong, your head is spinning and you are one against two.

To make sure you don’t get any weird ideas, Joel ties you to the bed. He runs a rope between one of the bricks and the frame of the bed, chuckling evilly, “I’m sorry honey, but I have to, your little head is too imaginative to let you loose in here.” The way he looks at you it’s disturbing, licking his lips in anticipation of what he’ll do to you that night.

He’s not sorry at all.

He can't wait to use you as he wants.

His gaze is intense and dark and you feel like he can get under your skin and read your every thought.

Tess controls Joel's moves, gun still in her hand and when you are completely at their mercy, lying on the bed, with the rope that at most allows you to turn on your back, she bends down to look at you, running the cold steel of gun on your face. You feel tears stinging your eyes as you look at her "oh come on don't do that, after all it's always better than breaking your delicate back with those shitty jobs, right?"

Her mellifluous voice makes you furious, does she think she did you a favor? You would like to spit in her face, on that cold and evil face of hers but you don't.

You can’t.

There's no point in trying to fight back, they'd kill you.

You know that.

They both go off to who knows where and you stay there, waiting, unable to do anything else.

________________________________

It’s the dead of night when the door creaks again and they come back in. Your wrists hurt, you feel stiff, exhausted even though you’ve done nothing but lie there, consumed by fear.

Tess is the first to approach “so kitten, have you been good today?” she coos wickedly and pats your head just like you’re her pet.

You feel a blind rage fill you as she calmly sits on the bed and takes off her boots.

Joel sits on the other side, takes off the dark blue denim shirt he is wearing and unlaces his combat boots.

You are lying on your back now and you crane your neck to watch them.

It’s incredibly frustrating for you to realize that both of your kidnappers are gorgeous.

Tess has a cold beauty, long dark blonde hair framing her face, her lean body reveals itself before your eyes as she takes off her clothes.

She has several scars scattered across her back and arms that make her look even more dangerous, adorning her skin like battle wounds. Battles that somehow she has always won. She’s feral as a lioness and as wicked as a demon.

You never knew you were into women but looking at her right now you can’t deny to find her attractive.

Joel on the other side is tense and nervous as a violin string, rippling muscles and large calloused hands, messy hair and a scruffy beard covering his cheeks.

Your eyes are drinking in his figure, glaring on his broad shoulders, strong neck and plush lips.

He’s definitely the most handsome man in the QZ.

He too has several wounds that blend into his olive skin, giving him the aspect of someone who cannot be argued with in the slightest.

In the little time you have already spent together, however, you have noticed how he bends to Tess's will, as if he were a guard dog always on alert to protect her.

Tess is the brains, Joel is the arm.

He's placed a large switchblade on his pillow, there to remind you that you have no escape.

They are both in their underwear, their clothes lying on the floor. Tess orders Joel to untie you, the rope slowly loose on your wrists as Joel warns you “you better not make a single move or you will regret it, slut”. His voice in your ear is terrifying, bouncing around in your head like a nightmare you can’t wake up from.

“Good girl” Tess praises you briefly while you remain still, before ordering “undress her”

Joel unceremoniously removes your jacket and shirt, throwing everything on the floor. He unhooks your bra, brushing his fingertips along your back, and you shiver imperceptibly.

As your bra comes off, the pills you’ve hidden inside fall onto the bed, rolling onto the blanket. Tess shakes her head, squinting “What are those? Didn’t you say you were hungry? Do you need pills to feed yourself, you little whore?” her voice is like ice and the blade of the knife abandoned on the bed is suddenly at your throat, held by Joel.

Your voice breaks into tears as you try to justify yourself. You try to say that they are only for you, just painkillers, you’re not a drug addict, you won’t sell them, you won’t try to ruin their business.

“Pfff and we should believe you?” Joel scoff, laughing from behind your back, tugging violently on your arm and sliding the blade on your skin.

“I-please”

You don't even know what to say anymore.

"Stop whining, it gets on my nerves” Joel warns you as he slightly dig the blade into your cheek, scratching you just a little, just to let you taste the flavor of iron.

“You'll be a very good pet for us, won't you?” Tess whispers leaning close to your ear and running her fingers along your arm.

Tears now roll freely down your cheeks. She wipes away a tear and licks its salty taste from her thumb, pleased.

“Yes, I’ll be good I - I promise” you sigh.

“You certainly will be, if you don't want to taste Joel's knife.” He grins behind you and leave the switchblade on the sheets.

Your bra joins the other clothes on the floor as Tess squeezes one of your nipples between her fingers. She isn't gentle, she isn't delicate, her hand is firm, demanding, her fingers calloused.

After all, she isn't one to back down from a fight and everything about her shows it.

She pulls, pinches and twists, treating your nipple as if it belongs to her and she can do whatever she wants with it, looking you straight in the eye, intimidatingly, without even flinching.

Joel is still behind your back, sitting on the bed and he reaches for your hips, his large hands enveloping them and his fingers pressing hard into your flesh. He leans down and runs his tongue all the way up your spine, going up your shoulder and biting hard where it joins your neck. You cry out. You know it will leave a mark on you, his teeth tattooed on your skin.

Tess slaps your tit when a moan slips through your lips at the sensation of having Joel sucking hard on your skin, leaving more marks on your neck, his beard scratching you.

“You fucking like it, don’t you, pet?” She teases.

You can’t say anything, a stinging pain spread across your chest and you wonder how strong she really is despite her slim figure.

Joel detaches from you and Tess makes you lying on the bed again, unbuttoning and tugging down at your jeans, leaving you in nothing more than your ridiculously worn panties, they’re so old they’re basically see through but it’s not like you can have something fancy in the QZ.

She spots a wet stain right in the front and she smiles fake sweetly, you can still see the evil in her ice cold eyes.

She takes the hem and just rip them off, exposing your bare cunt.

You gasp and try to gather your hands in front of you for covering your privates but you can’t, Joel is still holding your wrists in a dangerous grip.

She laughs at your clumsy attempt “darling, rebelling won't do you any good, I thought I was clear before”

“Please,” you whisper, “please let me go. I didn’t steal anything in the end, I’m never coming back.”

“No,” she says firmly, “no. Do you know why? You don’t mess with us, you don’t even try. You have a lesson to learn.”

Her fingers run over your leg cold. You don't have time to beg again as another slap hits you. "Poor little girl, didn't your mother teach you manners? We'll have to think about it ourselves." She says, pursing her lips.

She slaps your cunt.

You throb.

And you’re wet.

You hate every cell in your body that is getting sexually aroused by them.

Your brain says no, but your body isn't following suit and you can't really explain it.

What was once pain is turning into a creeping, crawling tingle that runs under your skin.

Back in the days you had a boyfriend that used to fuck you roughly and you liked that but you certainly never thought to be aroused by people holding you captive.

It’s insane.

She lifts one of your legs up high, holding it tightly by the ankle as Joel brings your arms above your head on the bed and his grip continues to secure your wrists.

“Um, look at you. What a delicious wet pussy.” Tess coos.

Joel grunts at the sight “such a needy slut”

Tess positions herself between your legs and begins to rub herself on your pussy.

She doesn’t care a bit about treating you like a person, making your joints ache for the unnatural position, one leg impossibly strained with her grip and the other one straight on the bed with your thigh hurting under her weight.

You’re their muppet now.

The friction between your pussies makes you feel ashamed at first, you've never done it before. With each thrust of Tess on you, however, you begin to feel a heat enveloping your lower abdomen, going straight down to your clit making it sensitive and swollen.

You’re excited, as much as you hate to admit it.

Tess is wild, she’s claiming your body like a predator does with its prey, her small and perfectly shaped tits are bouncing in the air, nipples pink and hard.

You're biting your lip hard, holding back the moans that try to escape from the back of your throat.

You don’t know what came over you but wouldn't mind sucking on them .

You look up at Joel who towers over you, his gaze glassy, fixed on your pussies slamming together making the most obscene sounds you've ever heard, like a squish on loop, wet and slippery.

Tess looks at you, her face twisted into an evil grimace as she groans and curse.

You're trying to control yourself in every way but your body responds, you feel a rush of pleasure flooding you. Fuck. It's like your brain is leaking out of your cunt.

You’re gasping under Tess.

Your hips move trying to seek more friction.

Hot tears stream down your face as you moan. You can’t believe how fucked up this is.

“Oh yeah, baby, go ahead and cry, be a pathetic whining mess, we don't give a shit. Your whore pussy is ours now.” Joel growls.

He moves in front of your face, his large hand covers your cheek completely and squeezes it hard, pinching your skin mercilessly before giving you a slap. You feel an unbearable heat radiating on your skin, you haven't even moved your arms even though he has let go of his grip.

“You’re just a plaything,” Tess echoes, “and you’re enjoying it, aren’t you, little scammer?”

Tess grinds against you relentlessly, she reaches down and twists your clit with two fingers and a wail of pain breaks from your lips.

You feel delirious under her ministration, her body takes what it wants from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it, on the contrary. Your nipples are so pebbled they look like little rocks on your chest, your cunt so sloppy and wet that your cream is lasciviously trickling on your inner thighs, you don’t recognize yourself anymore.

Tess comes above you, callin names and stuttering angrily.

You whine again and Joel barks “it’s time for you to shut up, slut”

He pulls down his boxers with a dark look and an incredibly devious smile plastered on his face. His cock is right in front of your eyes, semi hard, he spits in his palm and starts fisting it, up and down his length. It’s thick and swollen, more big than you expected.

His angry red tip almost touches your lips, he reaches for your jaw and pulls it “open wide, slut” he orders. Your lips are pressed together, you try to resist, but Joel takes a handful of your hair, pulling hard.“I. Said. Open. Wide.” punctuating each word with a stronger tug.

You can’t help but doing it, he’s basically tearing off your hair while Tess is still having no mercy of your cunt. She moves on the sheets and she stick two of her fingers in your cunt, up to the knuckles “Jesus, you’re fucking soaked baby, such a good slut”

Joel forces his cock into your mouth and begins to push inside you until he reaches the back of your throat, not letting you get used to it, your cry is muffled by your lips tightening around his shaft. His taste spread across your tongue as he moves abruptly into you, in and out of your lips. Your mind is fuzzy, you try to breathe from your nose but all you can feel right now is the aching of your jaw and the way Tess is scissoring her fingers inside your hole. They have no mercy and you’re madly aroused with it.

It’s not like you’re expecting something good from life at this point. Life isn’t gentle anymore, you lost everything a long time ago, you’re just trying to stay afloat biting off what you can and expecting nothing but bites back until the day fate or destiny decides it's over for you.

You don't know if there's a hint of what they call Stockholm Syndrome in all this but here you are, willing to be free use, for them to ruin, right on the verge of losing your mind. You’re pliant and hungry now, sucking on Joel cock like a good meal after a whole month of starvation, you’re reaching his balls with your hand, massaging and squeezing it lightly. Tess is watching you and she doesn't seem happy with the way you're trying to be, her hand lands again on your pussy, heavy and cruel, right on your clit.

“Oh don’t be too much of an ass kisser, I never liked them. And don’t do anything until we tell you to”

Joel grunts deeply as you let go of his ball “fuck I liked that though” and he grabs your hand back “since you like it, touch it, you dirty whore”

Tess rolls her eyes and slaps your pussy again and again until you feel your skin burning and you know you're about to come, your muscles are tense and your legs start to tingle as well as the bottom of your belly.

Tess understands and stops. “Oh, one more thing, you come if and when we decide.” A moan rises from deep in your chest and vibrates on Joel’s cock.

“Keep sucking” Joel urges you groping and squeezing your tits.

You move painfully up and down his length, him holding the back of your skull. Tess watches you, studying your reactions, a hint of jealousy in her eyes as Joel continues to thrust into your mouth, urging you “like this, little bitch, keep going - OH FUCK”

You can feel your cunt throbbing, screaming for a release.

Tess is giving you occasional kitten lick, so soft and so evil at the same time ‘cause you’re right on the edge. It’s a torture, an unbearable struggle that you can take anymore. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, your clit swollen and sore, you’re feeling delirious and you’re not allowed to come.

Tess picks up the knife again and you feel it slide across your inner thigh, it’s cold on your sweat-beaded skin and it makes you shiver. It rises dangerously close to your center, her evil eyes obsessively following the path of the blade. A sharp smile spreads across her face as she begins to sink the tip into your flesh, just enough to scratch your skin. You’re choking your whines on Joel’s cock as you smell blood in the air. It feels like she’s writing something, her trajectory is meticulous and careful, she pulls the blade out smiling again, satisfied with her work.

“Here you go, now everyone will know what kind of whore you are. If you ever get out of here”

She runs her tongue over what she just branded into your skin, your body shakes, your back arches insanely seeking for that delicious line between pain and pleasure, it’s stinging and soothing at the same time.

Joel is spilling inside you, his cum invading your mouth, painting your tongue and sliding warm down your throat. His face is red and sweaty, he's gritting his teeth, his neck is tense, his merciless hand holds you still clinging to your neck, he looks like a wild animal ready to devour you.

“Swallow it all, bitch” And you do it, you have no other choice. And you like it. You like the feel of his vein pulsing against the roof of your mouth, the heat and weight of him on your tongue, his musky flavor. It distracts you from the pain spreading across your thigh.

Joel only pulls out of your mouth when you've licked it clean.

It’s softening but it’s still the biggest cock you’re ever had.

He whispers in a hoarse voice that you are a very good little pet, smiling at you nastily, his big hands filling with your breasts, calloused and heavy, your nipples still hard under his palms.

Tess chuckles “yeah, she’s not that bad. And she’s a real fucking slut, aren’t you, honey? Your pussy is hungrier than your stomach”

You don't answer her, you are enraptured by Joel's dark and lascivious eyes, naked and helpless on the bed, branded like a cow, stupid and drunk on sex.

Your mind is no longer thinking clearly.

They both lie down on the bed to catch their breath, leaving you naked and sore at the foot of it, like a rag doll.

You never imagined this would happen to you when you came in here. And then, when they found you, the first thing you thought was that they were going to kill you. You're still here. Exhausted, in pain as you stare at the ceiling, sweat cooling on your skin.

You wonder how long it will last, where they will dump you when they get tired.

You're still alive anyway, that's enough.

There is definitely something rotten in you. You want to get up and see the word Tess wrote on your thigh but you are not brave enough. You trace it with a finger, shivering with pain, feeling your skin pull and pinch where it is starting to heal. If your touch is right it says “pet”.

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peppertoastuniverse · 5 months ago

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more than a late night snack: – gojo satoru chapter 2: pocari sweat

contents: geto suguru & reader, gojo satoru x reader, tw!ptsd, suguru being a good friend, shoko cameo, satoru being down bad and not knowing it yet, you and geto basically bully gojo lol summary: sparring with geto is always difficult, but with gojo’s new found interest in you, it’s proving to be a different challenge all together.

wc: 3.2K

“here, for beating this animal.” he offers the bottle of pocari sweat to you, ignoring geto’s eye roll behind him. gojo shakes the bottle slightly when you hesitate. “c’mon take it.” “… uh thanks, gojo,” suspiciously eying him. that was strangely… thoughtful of him. what’s his deal?

previous chapter ll master list ll next chapter

once again you were lying on your back, panting, his wide frame leaning over you with a small taunting grin on his face.

god, he was good. so fucking good – it almost infuriated you. he always knew what to do to get you into this position. geto was undoubtably strong and skilled, you couldn't help but call on him every chance you got – embarrassingly sometimes even twice a day. at first he was too gentle and hesitant with you until you practically had to beg him to show you no mercy – which is how you landed on your back for the millionth time that day. you groaned, feeling little annoyed, humbled and sweaty. a part of you thought he liked the extra cardio, but deep down you knew that there was a competitive part of him that just liked to win.

“ready to go again?” he asks slightly out of breath. geto gracefully unties his long hair from his messy bun, before combing his fingers roughly through his hair to redo the knot. a few months ago you shyly asked geto if he could help you improve your hand-to-hand combat and you were grateful when graciously he agreed. you needed the practice. so a few times a week you met geto at the school gym. he was a good teacher, giving you pointers here and there, encouragingly suggesting adjustments to your technique. you were improving, slowly but surely. you winced still on the ground, a frustrated hand passing over your face. “i know i pinned you last time, but today it seems impossible.”

“well, you’re more distracted today and a little more .. impulsive,” he thoughtfully hums, hand over his mouth. “what’s been on your mind?” “I.. uh..just – ” you exhale, hollow eyes looking to the ceiling of the gym. a part of yourself was still back in shirakawa were you could hear the distant screaming, smell the mutilated bodies and the blood pooled at your feet – “…hm?” geto prompts you patiently, crouching down to lay beside you on the gym mats, still looking into your eyes. geto was two opposites at once, a soft contradiction. he had an intense stare but a gentle way about him that made you feel heard and reassured but simultaneously you knew that if he really wanted to, geto would be able to coax absolutely anything from you without any real effort. his domineering strength matched his silent resilience and you weren’t sure what to fully make of him just yet. you stared into his amethyst eyes hesitantly, debating on if you trusted him enough for this yet. it’s not that you didn’t like geto, you were probably the closest to him in your year – but that wasn’t really saying that much – like everyone else you kept him at a safe distance. but you weren't sure if you were ready yet.

sensing your reluctance, geto joins you in looking up in at the ceiling, hiding his almost clairvoyant stare ".. i'm only asking because i've been a little worried.” you hummed quietly in acknowledgement fiddling with your fingers that rested on your stomach, unsure of what to say or where he was going with this.

“…you've be more quiet, like in your head a bit more, you know? shoko asked about you the other day and even satoru noticed." he continues thoughtfully. geto wasn’t sure what was going on with you, but he felt as if you were slowly slipping away. retreating into some cruel sanctuary where no one could follow. he could almost see through you, a shell his words would go through, disappearing into the void that occupied your seat. you weren’t joining them in the kitchen for meals anymore and you seemed to be even more reserved than before, even skipping sparring practice with him using a thinly veiled excuse of fatigue. your eyes were clouded and were weighed down by the dark rings that hung around them.

you sighed unsteadily, focusing on specific a beam on the ceiling.

you were growing more and more aware of the weight that you were carrying for two weeks. the burden almost suffocating you pressing against your lungs, squeezing so deeply that you were nearly drowning from the inside out. you were certain there was deep scarring left behind. the scars of regret, guilt and fear that reverberated in your cavity, in the voice of the little grandma that made you udon, the young girl you let braid your hair, the man who gave you some daikon just because, the woman with the short hair who- dead. all dead.

geto’s honeyed tone calls your name, tethering you back to reality. throwing you a buoy to keep your struggling mind above the rapids. geto’s presence was calming, and his smooth voice was helping chase away your racing thoughts. with him you felt comfortable, safe even … maybe he had the potential to be someone that you could fully trust. you reluctantly rolled over on your side to finally look directly at him, making a decision.

“i’ve been.. having these dreams.” “...dreams?” “mhm… of shirakawa.” voice trembling, hands curling into fists, voice shaking slightly.

a pregnant pause of realization. geto’s eyes widen in understanding. he chastises himself – that would make sense, why didn’t he see it earlier? your strange behaviour started after that mission, your face paled when ieri casually asked about it the other day. nightmares were an unspoken byproduct of the job of being a sorcerer. even geto had lingering thoughts of certain missions that have gone astray and was often disgusted with what he saw on the battlefield. overtime he was starting to grow saddened with how other sorcerers – his friends– were being affected by the horrors of the job. duty. a choice to suffer for the greater good – a necessary sacrifice. it was a sobering realization.

his hand taps antsily on his stomach he turns his head to you feeling your shy stare. geto rolls over to his side, mirroring you, studying your struggling expression. gently he inches closer to you and reaches over. he engulfs your shaking fist in his larger warm hand. lightly squeezing, geto successfully easing your shaking. the rough waves of guilt within you calmed to the rhythm of his slow breathing. his quiet reassurance and acknowledgement of your struggles simultaneously squeezes your chest, protecting you from your intrusive thoughts. you shut your eyes as you feel his thumb moving back and forth – a sympathetic reminder of his understanding. after some time, you open your eyes. "...thanks geto," you say faintly, not trusting your voice for much more, you already felt too vulnerable.

“hm? for what?”

“for.. for this.”

withdrawing his hand, his violet eyes soften as you see the beginnings of a small smile forming, "y'know you can call me suguru, right?"

“…I can?” “yeah! ‘course you can. we’ve known each other for like – what like almost 6 months now?”

“yeah, something like that...”

“yeah so, we’re friends right?”

friends.

“i.. yeah. yes. i guess we are friends.”

“so, my friends call me suguru –” he says easily, like being kind was the simplest thing in the world. he amazed you. "hmm, i dunno because gojo calls you baby. so… i wanted to be sure," you tease. "oh? you can call me baby too if that's what you're comfortable with." geto says amused, elbow upright to support his head, his bangs falling over his eyes. your surprised face carves out a chuckle, a rusty sound to even your own ears. pleased with himself, geto grins wider. he hasn’t heard that sound in at least a week or two but he had a strong suspicion that there a certain person was dying to hear it. geto liked that you were smiling again. “careful,” you warn eyebrow quirked, “gojo might get jealous,” eyes looking livelier, body bending into a seated position with a stretch.

geto snorts. “i’m sure satoru can deal.” “I think you overestimate gojo's maturity. just don’t blame me if he starts moaning and groaning for the next year about this…” “alright, just say he’s a little shit..,” you grin at his honestly, feeling lighter than you had in the last week.

“hey… c’mon let’s see if you can get me this time,” geto says rising to his feet challengingly. “oh, don’t worry – I definitely will.”

footsteps echoing, gojo walked through the halls. he carded his long fingers through his hair mindlessly, sighing. it was a rare day when he didn’t have a mission or class and he was bored beyond reason. he was restless - the accumulation of bottled energy within him swirling, brewing dangerously, threatening to bubble over any minute now.

he had already been kicked out of ieri’s room for complaining too much.

“ – but listen, i don’t really understand what the big deal is. suguru goes on and on about it like god’s greatest gift to man but it’s literally just soba and you dip that shit in a sauce. you even have to dip it yourself – like if im paying for that shit I’d want someone to dip it for me. why do I have to put in the effort when im paying to have an experience, y’know? and don’t get me started on the temperature, why the fuck is it col–“ “holy shit, gojo. give it a rest oh my god.” yikes. last name. “but shokooooo,” his voice going up in pitch gratingly, “these are very important thoughts from a very important person!” “and who would that be? you’ve been talking about zaru soba for like 20 minutes!” ieri counters, head leaning on her closed fist, not even bothering to look at gojo as she flipped through a magazine at her desk. gojo huffs, lip jutted out. “no one appreciates me here.” “dude, i told you, im in the middle of something!” “you’ve been reading for hours! you said you’d be done a billion years ago.” gojo whines lying on floor of ieri’s bedroom, foot tapping out an impatient rhythm on the leg of the chair that she was currently sitting on. she scoffs, half amused and half annoyed, light brown eyes flickering to blue. “go bug the others, then! they’re probably still sparring in the gym.” “ehhh? sparring, what now?” “mm? yeah. suguru’s helping with their hand to hand combat. they’ve been meeting up pretty frequently.” not bothering to look up at what she knew was gojo’s dramatic pout.

he scoffed at the memory. they could’ve asked me to help them with sparring. why didn’t they ask me?

subconsciously he found himself at your door, his feet carrying him without his mind even realizing it. gojo found that his mind wandered to you a lot more than usual after that night. he couldn’t get your hollow expression out of his head, or your soft, gravelly voice when you were about 2 seconds away from slumber, or the way your warm body felt when he carried you back to your room, or how you would rock back and forth while waiting for the udon to cook. there was just something about you, he just couldn't help it. he was starting to see parts of you in places where he least expected it and it always bewildered him.

halting suddenly, chuckling as he decides to stop by the gym just to see if geto would want to go with him to the arcade and if you happened to there too, so what? but maybe he could convince you both to go… turning around with a new plan and a mischievous smile, gojo hesitantly stops by the vending machine.

you definitely couldn’t get him. once again you were on your back, sweating but this time panting heavily. geto’s figure towering over you. “this time was better. but you gotta remember to watch your left – “ before he could even finish that thought, you sweep his legs from under him with your left leg. geto lands on the mats beneath with a surprised grunt as you quickly pin him, throwing your legs on either side of his abdomen, sitting on him triumphantly.

“how’s that for my left leg?” leaning your face slightly down to his, grinning cheekily.

geto groans, shifting slightly “…this doesn’t count you know.” annoyed at the injustice.

you giggle breaks your annoyed facade, “what?! how does this no-“

you’re interrupted by an echoing thud. two cautious heads whip to the source of the intrusion. a cold bottle of pocari sweat curiously rolls towards you, the explanation following behind: a mop of unruly white hair. gojo runs his hand through his hair messily. a flicker of an indescribable expression flashes on gojo’s faltering face at the position he finds you and geto in. a mask of a grin paints his pale face – it doesn’t suit him. “ooOOOooooh fun! sparring looks like fun. can I join?” eyebrows wriggling suggestively. “ugh. grow up gojo” you say with a frown. gojo starts making his way to you both while picking up the abandoned bottle and placing it upright on the mat. “what? if you wanted to straddle someone as a friend you could’ve just asked me, babe. sugu never lets me straddle him and i’ve even ask-” “satoru. ” geto’s eyes narrow in warning.

“fine baby, fine. our little secret then.” gojo grins widely, smile not reaching his frosty eyes. geto scoffs shaking his head, no doubt mentally running through his arsenal of curses trying to decide which one to unleash on gojo first. geto delicately pats your upper thigh to motion you to get up, easily taking the hint you rise to your feet. geto doesn’t miss blue eyes narrowing at the contact, fist tightening slightly, causing an amused smile to break on geto’s face. you stick your tongue out at gojo, already annoyed. geto had an increasing suspicion that gojo was interested in you regardless of what the blue eye boy said. he saw how gojo’s body would unconsciously angle towards you whenever you were around or the way gojo would stare when you’d talk to ieri with a small smile on your face during class or how gojo would act even more insufferable when you were within a 500 foot radius. “they got you again, eh suguru? looks like you’re losing your touch!”

geto exhales through his nose, smile gone, “i didn’t think that they would play dirty,” shaking his head.

“a pin is a pin, regardless of the situation. you said that you always have to be ready, right?” you say pointedly as you reach down to offer geto a hand to help him up. but before geto could accept, gojo rushes towards him effectively knocking your hand out of the way roughly. you tsked, annoyed at gojo’s brazenness.

“oh no, suguuuu! are you hurt? did they – what did they do to my baby?!” gojo wails dramatically, clutching geto’s arm before moving behind him to fuss his shoulders.

“what the hell, dude? mmpffffff get off of me, you–“ gojo’s two hands squishing geto’s face from behind attempting to climb onto the dark haired boy’s back in a makeshift piggy back. geto tries to shake his best friend off by grabbing gojo’s arms and attempting to pull him into a headlock, knocking off the dark glasses of his pale face in the process.

“what do you mean? last night you didn’t say that – “ gojo whines beneath the rough housing, grabbing at geto’s torso, barking out a cackling laugh.

“you were the one who – “ geto counters, efficiently grasping gojo’s arms. gojo lets out dramatic high pitch squeal. gojo tackles the dark haired boy roughly causing geto to brightly burst out laughing. the two boys roll on the mat with fierce energy, a chaotic tangle of long limbs, grunts and mocking shouts. “babeee, help! suguru’s bullying m-“ he shouts at you, his lanky legs twisting to wrap around geto’s frame.

the assault stalls when gojo hears your bright laughter – the first sighting of water in the desert of his heart, unknown yet if it was a mirage. sensing gojo’s hesitation, geto slowly eases his hold on gojo, eyebrows raised, head turning to see the cause.

ah. of course.

panting, geto dusts himself off while watching gojo. his blue eyes watch your head thrown back, laugher etched even in your eyes. the smallest spark, the soft sunrise after two weeks of rain.

“you’re ridiculous,” you comment, head shaking.

“i’m ridiculous? you didn’t help me at all!” gojo counters childishly. you bend over to pick up gojo's dark glasses – a casualty from the boys’ recklessness. geto smacks gojo’s arm as he notices the obvious gawking at your backside. geto cocks an eyebrow judgementally, dude. gojo rolls his eyes exasperatedly in response, his palms splayed out, what?! I wasn’t looking!! gojo smacks him back.

obliviously, you open up gojo’s dark shades, inching closer to put them onto gojo’s surprised face, fingers grazing his flushing ears. he could smell the slight vanilla and lavender scent that he remembered lingered on your skin when he carried you from the kitchen table to your room two weeks ago. his mind drifted to the memory of how you felt against him that night. soft and warm. so close that if he dared he would be able feel your steady heartbeat against his skin contrasting against the fluttering of his. you were so close and yet not close enough. holding you, he wasn't sure who was dreaming.

hiding his uncharacteristically bashfulness, he makes no mention of your singeing touch as he bends down and picks up the energy drink, condensation building on the outside of the plastic bottle.

“here, for beating this animal.” gojo jerks his head in geto’s direction while offering the bottle of pocari sweat to you, ignoring geto’s eye roll behind him. he shakes the bottle slightly when you hesitate. “c’mon take it.”

“… uh thanks, gojo,” suspiciously eying him.

that was strangely… thoughtful of him. what’s his deal? you untwist the cap and take a small sip. cool and refreshing, slightly sweet but smooth and hydrating.

“seeee? aren’t you glad I thought about you? huh, huh?” he tapping at your cheek, cheeky grin on his face. you slap his hands away from your face with an exasperated sigh. “this is when you say, thank you satoru! you’re so thoughtful and wonderful and handsome and kind and so, so sexy–“

nevermind, he’s an idiot.

“hm, suguru, you want some?” you call out to geto, turning away from the white haired menace to offer the bottle over to him.

gojo whips his head to your face, narrowed stormy blue eyes darting between you and geto. he felt a foreign feeling take over his chest. it surges within him, breathing hard to burrow its claws along the bottom of his tense stomach, green eyed, hot tempered and absolutely ravenous.

he mentally makes a note to stop by ieri’s room again, he wasn’t feeling like himself – must be some strange after effect from that last curse back in Osaka the other day.

..wait were you looking at.. suguru like that? why are you always thinking about him when he was right her– wait one fucking second. suguru? why’s he called suguru when i’m –

he whines your name “since when do you call him suguru?” furrowing his white brows.

“… isn’t that his name?" you question, moving slightly closer to geto as he takes the bottle from your outstretched arm thankfully before taking a swing.

“yeah but you call me gojo!!” you and geto exchange a look.

“oh here we go…” you hear geto mutter under his breath, recapping the bottle before handing back to you. “uhh…. isn’t that your name?” “i thought we were closer than that, babe.” gojo eyes you, glasses down his slender nose, crystal eyes theatrically watery.

“well the difference is that I actually like suguru,” you deadpan, stretching out your back.

“hey, don’t joke like that!” he pouts as he moves closer to you. hand over his chest like you’ve gravely wounded him. and you have.

“it’s only what you deserve, gojo,” you say lightly patting his shoulder before walking past him to go address geto.

"you’re so mean to me, babe!" gojo yells at your retreating figure. “anyway, same time next week?” you say glancing at geto, swiftly walking across the gym, holding the half full energy drink in your hand. geto chuckles, waving to you, ignoring gojo's annoyed mutters, cursed energy dangerously swirling.

"thanks for today, baby." you say over your shoulder, eyes bright. before crossing the threshold of the gym. you hear an incredulous shout:

“BABY!?!”

a/n: my love language is bullying gojo this chapter was very geto-centric but i can't help but love a princess -- head image credit: unknown! credit goes to the rightful artists dividers from: @/adornedwithlight

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burningcheese-merchant · 2 months ago

Note

I know you're a burningcheese merchant but can we have some hcs or snippets for mysticcacao 👉👈

You don't have to do it if you mind

Popping back in for just a minute to become mysticcacao-merchant, just for you 🫵

They'd probably take things quite slow, mostly due to Flour's shyness and embarrassment (and a bit of honest shame, really. She never thought she'd be shackled by meaningless emotions again, love least of all. But Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome came and stole not only her Soul Jam, but her heart... truly, life is suffering). But Cacao doesn't mind. He's very much a gentleman (more so than even Pure Vanilla), he will not say or do anything she doesn't want him to and respects her boundaries with zero complaint. (He's a bit nervous and uncomfortable for a while, too, so she's not really alone there lol)

They end up doing a lot of activities together where they don't really talk. Lots of long walks through the mountains, many games of Go, even meditating together (first they sat a ways away apart from each other, then when they became comfortable enough, they started sitting back-to-back). The silence doesn't bother them at all; they're both the sort of person who appreciates quiet moments like that, and they don't necessarily need to talk to understand each other.

He once gave her his coat to wear (the one that's part of the "Vanquisher of the Two Dragons" costume) because he noticed she was cold. Later, when it was time to part ways, he asked if she wanted to hold onto it. She said no. He reached for it and got slapped really hard with her ribbons. This happened several times before he got the message and just went home without it lol ("why are women like this", he wondered to himself)

She's not that far from him height-wise (5'9'' vs 6'1'', in my headcanon), so he never has to bend down much to kiss her. (He likes to just get close and press quick little kisses to her forehead)

This moment? In both of their heads?

RENT. FUCKING. FREE.

They went to the Dumpling Soup Hot Springs once and Flour saw Cacao take his shirt off and almost fucking died (he kept his pants on, thank goodness, she would've returned to flour on the spot if he stripped any further than he did)

They exchange letters a lot because Flour refuses to leave Beast-Yeast and Cacao can't visit her often (he has a kingdom to run and bad guys to fight). Flour arranged for a bird native to her mountain to be the one to come and go with letter deliveries, since it's very tough and would remember how to make the journey. Cacao keeps her letters in a box hidden somewhere in his room, Flour keeps his tucked on a shelf in her study in the Ivory Pagoda. They both really like each other's handwriting/calligraphy

Their kisses are almost always quite chaste. Flour is too hesitant to ask for more and Cacao will not push unless she explicitly asks for it... but they both want it lol. It's just a matter of Flour learning to be bold and allowing herself to indulge her own wants

They're able to get along a lot easier than the other Ancients and Beasts might because they already aren't that different from each other. Both are very calm, disciplined, serious people who tend towards stoicism and asceticism (or just rejection of base wants and desires in general). They just get each other right away, after putting away the "mortal enemies" thing haha

Cloud Haetae is really jealous of Cacao in the "kid is jealous of the man their mom is dating because they're scared he'll take her away and she won't love them anymore and the kid doesn't know better" sort of way. Cacao demonstrates his surprising skill with animals, dogs especially thanks to the cream wolves (Haetae is not a dog but it works anyway lol), and wins the little guy over pretty fast lol

#cookie run kingdom #dark cacao cookie #mystic flour cookie #mysticcacao #dark cacao crk #mystic flour crk #you're all welcome to ask me about the other BeastxAncient ships too. I like them all to some degree haha #BurningCheese is my no.1 but PureShadow isn't far behind tbh

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swtsupernatural · 29 days ago

Text

D&S W. || NEVER ENOUGH

Dean & Sam Winchester & Winchester! Middle-Sibling! Gender Neutral! Reader

Content Warning Takes place after John's death, no specific episode, just soon after. Swearing, dealing with John's death & grieving, reader throws up once, use of knives and guns, mentions of demons, dean being unable to communicate his feelings

Summary Angst !!! hurt/comfort for reader - Dad died, and all you could think about was how he died not even liking his middle child. You.

W.C. 2.2 k

Ask anon : Could you do something with the Winchester brothers and a Winchester reader? Where the reader is the middle child and is the forgotten one of the family. The reader feels kind of useless compared to Sam and Dean.

Playlist: ♫ I Love You So - The Walters, Better Than Me - The Brobecks, I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers

A.N. first platonic winchester reader fic ! wrote this sooo fast lol (I think I was projecting even though I'm the oldest child) also I had to include my fav chaotic old man duo in this one...enjoy! - claire <3

Dad was dead. It hadn't been too long since he left, but fuck. He was dead and all you could think of was how much of a shit child you were. You tried your entire life to prove yourself to your dad; but you weren’t Dean; you didn’t follow him blindly, listen to his every order, pick up on hunting skills like it was playing cards. And you weren’t Sam; you weren't booksmart, you didn't have a touch for understanding, and you weren’t as defiant. Yet, it still seems like your whole life that you were your dad’s least favorite. Now you didn’t have Dad, and you felt sick to your stomach that you were almost relieved. It was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and another one had been placed in your stomach. Your own father had died and you were relieved. No wonder you were the least favorite.

When you were younger, you’d been more like Sam. Dean was Dad;s pupil, and to you both it didn’t matter who was second because you were both not your older brother. You’d move to a random small town school,get picked on like Sam did, Dean told you he’d beat them up for you, and then you moved again. Every now and then shit would go down and you’d spend some nights at Bobby’s — and it repeated all over again. Then, Sam had graduated highschool and left you and Dean for Stanford. You and Dean never went into upper education, it hadn’t really crossed either of your minds. Sam was 18, you were 20, and Dean was 22. You’d been out of school for a bit, trying desperately to keep up with Dean and Dad, you were just never as good. You didn’t know anything else, and couldn’t see yourself doing well in any other ‘profession,’ if you could even call it that. A couple weeks after Sam left, you were digging through the trash like a damn raccoon looking for a note cliping you’d accidentally thrown away with some crucial information about your current hunt. You found the sticky note, but it had latched onto a thick, white piece of paper. It was a job application. It was Dean’s. You nearly cried, he wanted to be a firefighter. You were so emotional because you know he totally could; he’d be wonderful at it. But he’d never leave the hunting life, especially not after Sam had “abandoned Dad and us,” as he put it. The heat of the fire brought you back to the stupid forest you’d bought Dad’s body to. The fire was warm, but still not comforting in the slightest despite the chipping cold. Your cheeks were pink, and you could feel your eyes starting to water. This was it.

You began walking with your head down in the opposite direction of the Impala.

“Where the hell are you going?” Dean’s voice was gruff, his own head and heart in turmoil, showing in his wavering voice. He never sounded like that. It was so uncharacteristic and gazing up at their faces made you sick. They were lit up warm from the fire, both of their green eyes shining, frowns and dirt on their faces. You doubled over by a tree, placing your hand on the tough bark as you threw up your breakfast on the dewy grass. You heard Sam sigh, the thick, uncut grass rusting, a hand coming to your back as he pushed the hair from your face. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes told you everything. He knew more about your struggle with Dad than Dean did. Sam had always been easier to talk to. That’s why you wanted him to leave.

“Sam,” you whispered after wiping your face, “you need to go back to school, dude.” Sam looked down sheepishly.

“Y/N, cmon, you know I was there on scholarship, I–

“And you were also the best in your program, Sam. Dad’s gone. Go back, go make something of your life, please.”

“And what will you do? Keep hunting?”

“What the fuck else am I supposed to do? I’m not good at anything else, Sam! Hell, I’m not even that good a hunter. I’m half the reason he left to go on that stupid hunt in the first place.”

“Don’t start with that, Y/N.”

“I know it, you know it, and Dean knows it. Just…I need to be alone.”

“No, you don’t.” Dean’s voice came from your left, walking up at a quick pace with his hands in his jacket pockets.

“You don’t get it.” You whispered, and they just heard your small voice.

“What’s there to get?” Dean huffed, shaking his head.

“Dean, knock it off,” Sam muttered.

“What you don’t get, is that Dad never fucking liked me while like he liked you both. And Sam, don’t act like he resents you for leaving or something. He stayed up sighing and reading all those student aid and college billing bullshit because he knew you could do it. And Dean, he always taught you so much more than me because you actually got hunting like he did and knew what you were doing. I was never good at either. I wish I was the one burning in that fucki—

Dean grabbed your shoulders and pushed you against the tree.

“Can you shut up about yourself for two damn seconds when we're at Dad’s funeral? I don’t need you crying about him being a dick when he’s dead. He had funny ways of showing it, but he loved you, Y/N.”

“No he didn’t,” You shoved him off of you, shoving your hands in your coat and huffing out steamy air as you returned to the car. Your brother’s followed you, but you were already lifting the trunk and grabbing your duffle bag.

“Bye. See ya around.”

“Dean, let them go,” Sam grabbed his arm, stopping his brother from getting to you. “Even I know Dad was always a dick to them.

“C’mon, dude, give ‘em a break, just for now. We’ll call them in a couple days, it’ll be fine.” Dean shook Sam off of him, opening his car door and slamming it aggressively. Sam sighed, getting in the car and watching the black smoke in the rearview mirror flying up into the sky. __________________________________________

It had been four weeks. Four weeks, two cases solved, 11 missed phone calls from Sam, 6 from Dean, and now you were cornered in a damn demon’s trap. It was 5 against 1, but that didn’t change how useless you felt. You were never as good of a fighter as Sam or Dean, you weren’t as obnoxiously tall or particularly strong. You always felt useless as a child, as a sibling, as a hunter, and as yourself. Of course this would be how you died.

You were at the point of just giving in and calling it quits on your life when a booming BANG rang out. From behind you, two more shots rang out, knives slashing. You didn’t question it, you just acted. You managed to corner the last demon, grabbing his head from behind and shoving your knife in his throat, killing it. You focused your eyes up and saw the last person you were thinking about. But boy, were you glad to see him.

“Bobby?” He crushed you in a big hug, gun in one hand and a first aid bag in the other.

“Heard’a some weird stuff in this town, deaths and weird figures, figured it was demons. But, when Rufus and I went into the local police office as P.I.s, they said someone with your description already came by,” He grumbled.

“You know how stupid it is to go on a hunt alone when you're young, kid?” Rufus spoke, as his way of greeting you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a half-hug. “That’s why I always drag this old man with me in case shit goes down. So I can throw him in the storm and buy myself some time to run.” Bobby rolled his eyes at Rufus’ sarcastic words, and led you both out of the building.

“Why aren’t you with the boys, Y/N?” You sighed, running a dirty hand through your hair.

“You uh…heard about Dad?” Bobby stopped the tread to his old car, turning and peered at you with dark eyes.

“I did. Don’t worry, m’not gonna hit you with all that “I’m sorry, woe is you” crap you hate.” You huffed, smiling at Bobby, “But, I am gonna tell ya you always have a place to stay, kiddo.”

“Thank you.”

He looked at you expectedly, his head tilting towards you, “...So?”

“I left them after the funeral. I was just…having a hard time, Bobby.” You muttered, sitting in the back seat like a little kid.

“I know, kiddo. How’s about you come to my place and get yourself straight, hm?” You nodded, and Bobby watched you through the rear view mirror hanging above him. Your hair was greasy and the bags under your eyes almost purple. This had been fucking you up a lot.

Bobby got out and opened the trunk, rearranging things while Rufus opened the garage to grab salt, bullets, and gear to restock after your predicament. He tossed you his keys and you caught them with a jingle. You shoved them in the door and finally turned the janky lock, pushing it open. You froze.

Sam and Dean were sitting on the couch. The second you sighed and stepped inside, Dean shot up from his seat rushing towards you, wrapping you in a far too tight hug. He pulled away, his lips in a straight line as he lightly smacked you upside the head.

“You scared the shit out of us, dumbass.”

“Great to see you, too.”

“Where were you?”

You shrugged, moving past Dean to Bobby’s cramped, warm, familiar living room.

“I was on the road…hitchhiking, looking into cases, all that.” “I’m gonna refrain from telling you how dangerous that is and opt for a hug,” Sam grumbled as he wrapped his long arms around you.

“Why are you here?” You asked, settling down on the couch like no time had passed at all since you last saw them. Sam began to speak up, but Dean cut him off and Sam stared at him sternly.

“Cause we couldn’t find you and you weren’t answering us, and Bobby said he found you on a hunt near his place. We got here right before you guys. Y/N you had us fucking worried.”

“I’m sorry. I needed some time alone. I…love you guys. But being around you after Dad, it just reminds me that I’ll never be good enough for him. He’s dead and all I can think about is how he died not even liking me. I’ll never be like either of you.”

Sam laughed; he actually laughed out loud. “Like me? Are we talking about the same people? Cause I see visions of people dying, Y/N. I dropped out of college and can’t do anything right in anyone’s eyes, not just Dad’s.”

“That's not true, Sam…” He sat down next to you on the couch, his knees turned towards you, his eyes dark and watchful. Dean mumbled something about getting you all drinks and disappeared into the kitchen, sensing a touchy conversion he'd rather not be a part of just yet.

“And Dean,” Sam continued, “Dean would rather die than open up to anyone, even either of us, and he can’t function if he’s not drinking, hooking up with some random girl, or drinking. Which is why he’s getting us drinks right now. If anything, you’re the one I’d rather be like. I know Dean would too.” You rolled your eyes pointedly, like Sam was talking nonsense. He moved his head to find your eyes, tilting his head towards you with that face he made that would always stop you from talking. “Y’know, you’re so good at reading us and we didn’t even realise until you were gone. Honestly, Dean and I have never fought that much. And you’re always good at talking with the vics and feds, way better than me or Dean, I–

“Can we end the girly-crap convo now, please?” Dean handed each of you a beer, throwing his back the second he sat down, drinking way too much in one sip.

“Sorry we have feelings, Dean. In case you forgot; most people have those.”

“Yea, yea. Listen,” he turned to you after he groaned, trying to look sincere, well, as sincere as Dean could look.

“You’re probably the least fucked up one in our freak family, Y/N, so quit it, alright? Sammy and I…we love ya.” He threw his hand that wasn’t clutching his drink up in a surrender. “That good? Can we please drink now and head to our next stop with a hangover in the morning?”

You chuckled, clink-ing your drink with your brothers, and nodding to Dean. He smiled silently, thankful you were back. He hadn’t realized how much you kept the peace and sanity between the three of you. He really missed you.

“There better be two of those left, idjits,” Bobby grumbled, Rufus on his tail as they went into the kitchen grabbing a bottle each. They sat opposite of you all on the other couch and you held up your bottle.

“Cheers. To being a weird, fucked up family.”

“Cheers!” Sam gave you a tight lipped, sweet smile. “Cheers to that,” Dean finished the rest of his drink, throwing his head back.

“You kids are gonna kill me,” Bobby muttered.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural angst #supernatural #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #castiel #winchester reader #winchester reader platonic #sam winchester x reader platonic #dean winchester x reader platonic #john winchester #bobby singer #dean and sam and reader #dean and sam/reader #supernatural fandom #the winchester brothers

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nyerusnova · 1 year ago

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Glad to see that Tim being a giant Dick Grayson fanboy is finally being highlighted again, and sparking more discussion especially on their early relationship! (Please gimme more!!! I love them so much, augh!)

Probably as a result of that surge, there seems to be reciprocal chatter on the topic of how young Tim actually felt towards Jason, too. It's honestly pretty interesting, because it's more nuanced than it appears at first glance.

Which means it's very fun to dissect! ✨

There's a degree of subjectivity to keep in mind, because readers are going to have different interpretations of the same scenes, or will pull from entirely different scenes than one another to form their individual view on this topic. That's just how it is in comic book fandom, for many things! Regardless, in this case... if the scale ranges from the extreme of "Jason was Tim's Robin" to the other extreme of "Tim actually hated Jason [as Robin] or thought he was a loser that got himself killed" — the actual truth is closer to the middle, as is often the case.

At least, in my opinion.

Mainly I want to focus on those relatively early days with this post, to highlight Tim's initial(-ish) feelings towards his heroes, and touch on the point at which they really begin to change. This turned into a very long post, though. Brevity is beyond my skill, so grab snacks and water lol. Transcripts for each image will be posted at the very end under the cut.

So, the two storylines I want to cover are "Rite of Passage," which is rolls into "Identity Crisis." (NOT to be confused with the major crossover event "Identity Crisis™" which came years later, and is where Jack Drake dies.... But it sure is an interesting coincidence that Tim deals with the loss of each parent in two similarly named stories!) These take place before Tim is even Robin, and I'll be considering them as one arc for this post.

Detective Comics vol. 1 #618 (July, 1990) -- Pages 1 & 2

"When Gotham needed him, he was there. When the Batman needed him, he was there. He was a hero."

"One day, I'll be as good as Jason. One day I'll wear the suit."

To start off, we have this opening from "Rite of Passage." Tim is still in training here, mainly helping Bruce with minor stuff from the cave. His parents are off traveling, alive and well as of these next few pages. He's still bright-eyed and full of wonder. An extraordinarily weird but ultimately innocent kid.

So his view on Jason is positive and fairly simple: a hero, and someone to look up to as Robin. Clearly, Tim here doesn't think Jason was deficient in his role, either as a protector of Gotham or as Batman's trusted partner.

Moreover, Tim already held Dick in very high regard because he was amazingly skilled before he became Robin. To Tim, that's not something he'll ever be able to achieve. Meanwhile, Jason wasn't like that. He was a regular kid without crazy acrobatic training since practically birth. Yet he still went on to be a hero—which is obviously motivational for Tim who finds himself in similar shoes.

It's true that Tim only ever knew or thought of Jason as Robin, and idolized him in that regard. But that's kind of all that mattered to him at that point, because he was this kid who was utterly star-struck by his heroes. Even if he's technically aware of their shortcomings as people, it's overshadowed by the hero-worship.

It was kind of the same with Bruce as Batman at first. (Which was still enough for Tim to risk life and limb to help his beloved hero, before Bruce even knew his name.) Dick was the only one Tim had any sort of "personal" relationship with beforehand, so there is an extra level of attachment—and hence why it was the nidus for his obsession with Batman. Yet even then, it wasn't like he actually knew anything about Dick as a person until later. Until then, Tim's ideas of him were all he had, too. With Jason, Tim just didn't get to know him at any point before his return (oof), apart from what he heard over the years secondhand (also oof).

Ultimately, it's the loss of innocence—along with the ricocheting bullet that is the unresolved guilt of those around him—that begins to change Tim's perception. Not just of Jason, but of things in general.

Batman vol. 1 #455 (Oct., 1990) -- Page 13

"I know why they do it now. Why they put on the suits, and the masks, and go out into the night. They're angry, they're full of rage. They want to hit back."

Losing his mother was a major shift for Tim, obviously. This is right after the previous storyline, and Tim's had the worst week or two of his life (so far). His monologue here is a reference to what happened to both Dick and Jason. The unbearable pain of loss, the rage masking the grief underneath. And importantly, that he feels both of them were justified in their anger. (And Bruce too, indirectly.)

The major theme of the aptly named "Identity Crisis" is to mirror aspects of Dick and Jason and Tim's lives—to show how they converged onto the same tragic road. It's something that Tim notices early in the story, and was frightened by. Now, horrifically, it's become a part of him as well. His parents are gone, and he was entirely helpless to do anything about it. Dick was the same way, Jason was the same way. The cycle is repeated.

In particular, the part about him wanting to go to Haiti for revenge—for his mother—sort of struck me as being an intentional parallel to Jason and Ethiopia. It's a bit of a stretch, especially in isolation, so others may see it differently (e.g. the angry ramblings of a grieving child that does sound like something anyone might say). But it always stuck out to me because of how much Tim is compared directly to Jason in this arc. More on that below.

It's not something I can really give an accurate feel of because it's a lot of subtle things that begin to add up, so I'd encourage folks to read this arc themselves to see what I mean. (Or maybe you'll still disagree which is fine too lol.) Again, many things are in reference to both Dick and Jason in relation to Tim, but it's weighted more on Jason's side.

Batman vol. 1 #455 (Oct., 1990) -- Page 18

"You think my anger will boil over, the way Jason's did. I can assure you, it won't!"

Tim's grief has begun to pull away the veil of idealism that enshrouded his heroes in his mind. It doesn't apply only to Jason, but to the rest of them. Plus add the fact that Tim's keenly aware that he's being managed, even if the adults around him are careful to not outright say certain things. He still knows.

Bruce, Dick, and Alfred are all worried about Tim potentially turning into "another Jason." They (and mainly Bruce) caution Tim to not ignore his emotions, but they're still concerned that he may be overly eager to prove himself in order to cope, and could get hurt or killed as a result. While they aren't wrong for their caution—especially at how unsettlingly similar all the circumstances are—they aren't very subtle about the elephant in the room.

Imagine how that would affect Tim's perception of his predecessor, especially when he's in the midst of a traumatic event he hasn't had time to fully process. The negative association is pretty much inevitable.

Tim's known from day one that he's walking in Jason's shadow, and now it's become inescapable. Tim went from seeing Jason as a goal to reach, to feeling that unless he surpasses him, he wasn't going to be taken seriously by anyone. However, as of this arc, Tim doesn't even fully come to that point yet.

Batman vol. 1 #456 (Nov., 1990) -- Pages 14 & 15

"Drop-outs don't make it. And dead heroes are no use to anyone!"

It's really easy to take away "Tim totally thought Jason got himself killed" as the main thing here, but I think that's missing the forest for the trees.

First some context: Bruce has gone out on a mission to get Scarecrow, and expressly forbade Tim from doing any shenanigans. Meanwhile, Tim is grappling with wanting to prove himself and trying to help Bruce from the cave, all while trying to deal with his emotions. At some point, he falls asleep and ends up having like... exhaustion-grief hallucinations of Dick!Robin and Jason!Robin who confusingly caution yet encourage him. The main theme of this part is facing your fears.

Depending on how you want to interpret the intent of Jason's dialogue here, you could go several ways with it. Ranging from "writer's feelings towards Jason" to "a peek into Tim's mind as his fears manifest as visions of his heroes" or some mixture thereof.

Though Tim argues with Bruce that Batman needs a Robin, we're shown that Tim is understandably scared of joining Batman's "war." He's still not willing to let Bruce go it alone, though, and that's something he feels more strongly than his fear.

Meanwhile, hallucination!Jason's warnings are a lamentation of what happened to him in a way, but it actually exactly describes Tim's current situation even more so. Unlike Jason, Tim is under-trained, under-experienced, doesn't even have a suit of his own yet. But like Jason, he can't sit by and do nothing while someone he cares about is in danger. Tim knows that if he goes out there, he will probably get himself killed, and it will be his own fault. So he's about to disobey Batman's orders, and fly right into danger. If that got Jason killed, then Tim—who is in a way worse position experience-wise—has every chance of ending up the same.

Like... it's about Jason, but it's also about Tim. It's Tim's worst fears made manifest, via the representation of why he is even here in the first place (Jason's death).

That's my theory anyway, but perhaps this is an overly charitable reading of this scene on my end. (Not that I think that makes me wrong lol.) However given that Grant wrote both parts of this arc, and the beginning of which is especially favorable towards Jason, it certainly is something to ponder. I have a lot of thoughts on it I can't expand on here tbh but perhaps that'll be another post.

Anyway, returning to the point of the similarities vs differences between Tim and Jason: since this is the arc that solidified Tim as the next Robin in comic continuity, it makes sense that the writers really pushed the comparisons between the two of them, specifically. (Even though Dick was pretty similar, as going against Batman's orders is the Robin thing to do, it's not his shoes Tim is directly filling.) So making Tim's "debut" story arc mirror Jason's "swansong" is an obvious narrative choice.

To drive home the parallels, I wanted to include this panel from just a few pages prior to the "daydream":

Batman vol. 1 #456 (Nov., 1990) -- Page 9

"The suit is magic."

That so distressingly close to Jason's famous "being Robin gives me magic" line (Batman #385, page 6). Given all the previous context, it's hard for me to just dismiss it as pure coincidence. Even if it is, the point still stands. Tim is shown having the some of the same heartbreakingly naive views as Jason once did, right in front of Jason's memorial, just as he's about to go and run off into the night against orders.

I think that speaks for itself. There's a lot to take away from it, if you so choose. Especially given the context of that specific Jason arc.

Alright, back to the main course:

So in the end, Tim actually goes out in civvies and a ski mask because if he fails, then at least he wouldn't bring shame to Robin's legacy™. When he gets fear gassed saving Batman, it's once again both Dick and Jason that he hallucinates encouraging him to push past his fear. (Shout out to the fact that he's literally more afraid of tarnishing the legacy of Batman & Robin than he is of dying.... I'm sure this will not be a recurring thing for him in the future.)

Tim's ideology is shown to be similar to Jason's, and the actions Tim ultimately takes are similar to Jason's... but the outcome is different. And it really isn't just "Tim succeeded where Jason failed." At least, that's not what I took away from this. Rather, Tim had no reason to succeed any more than he had to fail, just that he did. Luck combined with caution because he knew what happened to his predecessor, and the fact that Batman was there to finish the job all made the difference.

You could say (and I know some will) that it's just classic Jason character assassination and the writers trying to implore readers that this new kid is different we promise pls don't hate us look how much better he is! But in this case, that feels like it undermines the whole point of this story. It doesn't fit with what the characters actually say.

Thus, we return to the question of how Tim felt towards his predecessor. And the answer is different from where we started, because Tim is different. Not that different though. Because even though at this point Tim—like all the adults around him—has probably attributed Jason "going off on his own" being what led to his death, Tim still thought of him as a hero to look up to. It's about Robin, first and foremost, yes. But Tim is fully aware of the people who made that suit mean what it does, because it's all intertwined.

Batman vol. 1 #457 (Dec., 1990) -- Page 20

"I mean--Dick made it into a symbol the whole world knows. Jason gave his life for it."

Even further, Tim thinks of it in terms of Jason having given his life for what he believed in, for the legacy that now falls to Tim. There's a sense of gravitas there. He's afraid of failing both the Robins who came before him.

Ultimately do I think Tim adored and loved Jason on the same level as Dick or something? No. It's not comparable. (Dick was like part of some of Tim's earliest memories and everything! They have a really unique bond ok.) Yet Tim was also far from thinking poorly of Jason so early on. Frankly, it seems that Tim thought of Jason as a noble hero and a cautionary tale. Yes he took risks and sometimes went too far, generally stuff that Tim doesn't want to repeat and all that. At the same time, Tim still saw him as someone whose legacy and memory was worth honoring.

It's complicated, which is why I like it so much—because it feels real. Having conflicting feelings towards someone is... so human. Especially someone you never got to know, yet who plays such an integral role in your life via the shadow of their death. How can you feel anything but complicated towards them?

It has to be said that, yes, Tim's views—even before Jason's return—change over the years. He becomes more jaded as a person and is surrounded by people who are even more jaded than him... and who often mention Jason as the "failed Robin." It's something that's hung over Tim's head all the damn time. The curse of the Robin mantle.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that Tim's idea of him becomes more akin to "sounds like a skill issue" as the years go by. All bets are off after Jason's return, and the Titans Tower Incident™. At that point it's firmly "I am better than you, loser" lmao.

And... that's all without getting too into things like authorial intent and general "moods" of different DC writers towards Jason at a given point. Or retcons that played a role in his characterization and how other characters talk about him, depending on what "era" you're reading. That's way beyond the scope of this post though!

TLDR; even though young Tim Drake was obsessed with Dick Grayson as Robin, he still looked up to Jason Todd as well. He didn't think of Jason as a cringefail loser until later. :)

(image dialogue transcripts under cut ↓)

Dialogue Transcript for Image 1 (Detective Comics vol. 1 #618 -- Page 1):

Narration box (Tim): When Gotham needed him, he was there. When the Batman needed him, he was there. He was a hero.

Dialogue Transcript for Image 2 (Detective Comics vol. 1 #618 -- Page 2):

(Scene continued from previous page)

Narration box: But he was nothing special, really. Just a boy, who was taught--trained--brought to his full potential by someone who knew how. Just a boy... like me. I know I can do it. I know I can. One day I'll be as good as Jason. One day I'll wear the suit. One day I'll be a hero.

Dialogue Transcript for Image 3 (Batman vol. 1 #455 -- Page 13):

Tim: I hate him! I hate him! I know why they do it now. Why they put on the suits, and the masks, and go out into the night. They're angry. Full of rage. They want to hit back. They want to fill the hole that's burning inside them.

Bruce: There's more to it than that, son. Much more.

Tim: I know. It's just--I feel--like going to Haiti myself and strangling that creep with my bare hands!

Bruce: The Obeah Man will spend the rest of his life in a prison hospital. He's history. Forget him! But don't fight against your anger. It's natural. Accept it. Live with it. One day it'll be your friend.

Dialogue Transcript for Image 4 (Batman vol. 1 #455 -- Panels from page 18):

Tim: Because you think my mother's death has upset me too much. Well, it did. But I've taken your words to heart. I can cope. You think my anger will boil over, the way Jason's did. I can assure you, it won't. But that doesn't make any difference, does it? Why can't you have a little faith in me?

Dialogue Transcript for Image 5 (Batman vol. 1 #456 -- Page 14):

Narration box (Tim): Blast it! My head's starting to swim. I'm about ready to give up. I almost wish I'd never heard of Batman and Robin!

Vision Dick: Heroes never give up, Tim.

Vision Jason: You know that.

Tim: Dick--! Jason Todd!

Vision Dick: You're training to fight in a war, Tim. It'll last all your life. No matter what, you have to go on fighting.

Vision Jason: Drop-outs don't make it. And dead heroes are no use to anyone! I thought I knew better than Batman. I thought I could run before I could walk. I killed myself, Tim. Because I couldn't wait. Because I couldn't think it through.

Dialogue Transcript for Image 6 (Batman vol. 1 #456 -- Page 15):

(Scene continued from previous page)

Vision Dick: Think, Tim. Concentrate!

Vision Jason: You can do it.

Both: You can do it!

Tim, waking up: What--? Robin...?

Narration box (Tim): I must have been daydreaming. They're right, though. There's a solution to everything. I can find it! So here I go again... Whim. Caprice. Doing something without forethought.

Dialogue Transcript for Image 7 (Batman vol. 1 #456 -- Panel from page 9):

Narration box (Tim): The suit is magic. It gives you power. It hides your weakness. It makes you give it everything you've got. It makes you a hero. If only I could!

Dialogue Transcript for Image 8 (Batman vol. 1 #457 -- Page 20):

Bruce: Are you afraid of it?

Tim: No. It isn't fear. It's more... the suit carries so much history. I mean--Dick made it into a symbol the whole world knows. Jason gave his life for it. Failing them--what they fought so hard to build--that's what worries me!

Bruce: I appreciate that, Tim. That costume weighs a whole lot more than any symbol should... and I'd be failing you if I expected you to bear that weight. So... let me know what you think.

Narration box: A mask has a double edged, he said. It hides your own anxiety as it strikes fear into your enemy.

#tim drake #jason todd #dcu #dc comcis #batfamily #meta #I'm so sorry this post got out of hand fr #it was meant to be a quick drabble with some comic panels and instead i just...... kept going #this post is specifically for my one (1) bestie who cares and the like 2 ppl who might be as insane as me about Timmy #idk why I'm like this im just obsessed with Tim's relationship with early Batfam & co lately???#late 80 and early 90s comics my beloveds......#anyway if this gets more than 5 notes i'll be shocked and scared lol #nyerus.txt #text post #long post

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lyneira · 2 years ago

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♡ How to earn the lion's love ♡

-> things you can do to make this lazy lion love you to the moon and back

leona x reader (fluff!)

check out malleus' version here! -> ♡ how to gain the dragon's affection ♡

Lull him to sleep!

Yes, I know he can easily fall asleep on his own already, but if you were there with him, he would sleep 10x better! Do anything to relax him. Let him rest his head on your lap, run your fingers through his smooth mane, or maybe even hum a soft tune and he will be at peace.

The first time you have him lay his head on your lap, he'll feel a bit tense. Sure, he's used to others doing things for him, but he's not used to being given such intimate affection. Assure him that it's okay to be this vulnerable. Though, you needn't say anything at all. Tell him by gently rubbing his temples, enveloping him with the warmth of your hands, and feel as he allows himself to let go as the weight of his head falls deeper into your lap. If he wakes up and sees you smiling tenderly down at him, he might immediately pop up off your lap. He'd do this, not because you startled him, but because his heart can't handle such a beautiful sight and he'd need to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.

Shower him with compliments!

This guy has a lot of pride and an ego that needs to frequently be fed. Just do it, will ya? Treat him like the king he is because at home, they simply don't treat him right. But no flattering him! He'll get irritated by your insincerity (and he'll probably call you a bootlicker lol 💀) if you do.

Don't allow him to tell you "never mind" or "it doesn't matter" when it comes to talking about his feelings or his opinions!

Even if he says "it's a pain" to try to explain it and will stubbornly attempt to keep his mouth shut, be persistent in wanting to hear what he has to say! If you're far more stubborn than he is, he'll eventually let up. Again, back home, he has often been treated with disregard for being the second son, so do the opposite and go all out with it! Make him feel heard and his appreciation for you will skyrocket. The foreign feeling of opening up to someone may be weird to him, but if that someone is you, then it's a feeling he'd be willing to get used to.

Be appreciative and acknowledge his efforts!

He’ll probably shrug you off, saying that he only did it for his own selfish reasons and whatnot, but stand your ground! Deep down, it warms his heart that you see him, and that his accomplishments and efforts aren't going unnoticed. He might say that he doesn’t need your thanks. Even so, a little appreciation can’t hurt from time to time, can it? And it'll go a long way too. You’ll notice that he’ll be doing those things you've thanked him for more frequently. (He'll act kind enough when he's around you that Ruggie would be like, "Hey, y/n...what the heck have you done to Leona?!" 😨 lol)

Simply play chess with him!

It doesn't matter if you're good or bad at it, play his favorite game with him and he'll enjoy it either way. If you're skillful, his competitive spirit will come out and he'll be having a fun time going against you! No worries if you're bad at it, he's willing to teach you even though he'd be like 🙄 for most of the time. But as you eagerly listen and try to grasp the tactics he teaches you, he'll subtly smile to himself. He's secretly happy you're trying to spend time with him doing what he enjoys.

Also, attempt to make it a routine with him. In his mundane life of attending classes, give him something to look forward to, (which would be getting to play chess with you)

For most of his life, Leona has been overshadowed by his brother and has lost much motivation because of it. So let him know that you see him, that you hear him, that you appreciate him, and maybe he'll come to find one of those rare motivations. That, being you 😘

a/n: now that my posts are finally showing up in the tags, I'll continue this series on this blog instead of @ne-nene-ne ! That'll include any of my other writing as well!

I realize that I might honestly be more biased towards Leona because this one was longer than Malleus' 💀 (I love both boys tho, I swear)

As for the next victim, I'm thinking of doing Azul next! then maybe Idia too 🤔

#nene writes~♡#leona x reader #leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #twst fluff

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captain039 · 1 year ago

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Wolf and bear

Halsin x shapeshifter!reader

Warnings: sexual, adult content, eventual smut, light swearing, mentions of dog fighting, first times.

Again! I don’t know Halsins character very well, nor have a played the game still lmao (3rd of the 9th ) well 5th cause that’s when I get paid lol.

Angry little wolf with her future bear husband lol

Kinda questionable xD

I cannot find Halsin smut and I need it

Also need Astarion smut

Challenging a bear probably wasn’t the smartest idea you had, but he was too close to your home. He smelt different though, not like normal wild bears that sometimes roam through. There was a scar down his eyes and his one of his lip. He was bigger than a normal bear also, then again you were a bigger than a normal wolf. Was he a shifter? He didn’t seem fazed by your warning growls and snaps, if a bear could looked amused he looked it. You huffed through your teeth and hoped he’d disappear. You headed back to your cottage, shifting back into your human form with a pained groan.

“Why’re you in pain?” you screamed at the deep voice behind you, body instantly going back into a wolf form due to reflexes. You smacked the ground with a groan before shifting back. Your body extra aching now, of course it bloody hurt your body literally changed into an animal! stupid idiot. You grabbed your robe quickly and covered yourself, you turned seeing an overly naked large man.

“Gods!” you covered your eyes praying he’d just leave.

“Do you have clothes?!” You yelled.

“I rather enjoy changing without them on, more comfortable” he said and you couldn’t argue with logic, but still. Sure if you were skilled enough in magic you’d keep your clothes on and not ruin them, every time you changed though they’d be torn and ruined.

“Why’re you here?” You asked keeping your hand over your eyes.

“It’s been a long time since I met another shifter, I was curious I suppose” he said and you sighed.

“Well I shift, the end, please leave” you probably sounded like a bitch, but you hadn’t had anyone here in years, people weren’t to found on a wolf in their villages, and life with other shifters was weird, constant need to bond with nature and a lot of nudity.

“Why have you not joined others?” He asked and you sighed.

“Because they are too much for me I like my quietness!” You pressed hoping he’d get the hint.

“You are against bonding with nature and being yourself?” He added and you groaned.

“Listen man, I don’t want your company or questions please leave!” You finally moved your hand to look at him, geez he was big. Big broad shoulders and wide torso, strong legs- oh gods. You flushed and looked back to his eyes seeing a small smirk. He had the same three scars over his eyes and the one on his lip, tribal markings down the right side of his face. Pointed ears and long brown hair half tied back.

“You didn’t answer my question” he stated and your mouth hung open slightly, did he not get a word you just said.

“I’m Halsin” he said.

“I don’t care!” You groaned getting up and going inside, slamming the door behind you.

You awoke the next morning ignoring the scenes

of last night, hopefully he’s gone back to his little nature loving pack. You went outside to tend to your garden only to freeze when you sensed someone to your left. You stared at the large man sitting by your table chewing on what looked like dried fruit. Is he serious? You walked back inside surely this was a dream, or an illusion.

“I’m real” he called and you walked back outside.

“What in the hell are you doing here?!” You snapped and he just smiled. He was clothed thankfully as he stood, woah he was much bigger than you.

“You intrigue me” he said.

“I don’t care, get off my property or-“ you stuttered what could you really do to a giant bear man? He smirked head tilted he knew you couldn’t do anything.

You ignored him as you went about your gardening. He didn’t say anything which annoyed you more, what did he want somewhere to hibernate?! Certainly wasn’t going to be in your comfortable bed.

“Excuse us” you frowned at the approaching men. The bear man stood on edge a frown on his face. You walked to them and wiped your hands.

“What is it?” You asked seeing a note in their hands.

“Have you seen or heard any bears around?” He asked and you froze.

“One with a scar on his face!” The man behind him piped up.

“No?” You said questioning.

“We believe it’s a demon” he said and you raised a slight eyebrow.

“Bear shifter” he added, so this man was a shifter hater.

“He caused a rampage in a dog fight arena” your stomach churned at the words, people still did that? Horrible beings.

“Was anyone hurt?” You asked trying to not sound suspicious.

“Just the owners, not dead, but all the dogs were let free” he answered and you felt relief flood you.

“This your husband?” He nodded to the bear man behind you.

“Uh-“ you faltered as he stood and came over with a smile.

“I am” he said and you froze as a hand went around your waist. You wanted to punch that smile off his face.

“Ah, have you heard or seen anything?” The man asked and your supposed husband shook his head.

“Can’t say I have” he said.

“Kinda got scars like you” the one behind said studying.

“Oh these I was attacked by a bear actually, got its head in our living room” he chuckled, but you felt how rigid his body went.

“Awesome!” The man behind said and you sighed.

“Well if you see or hear anything let us know, oh and if you see a dog or dogs let us know, we’re at the village council” the man said and left. The bear man growled and you tensed feeling the anger rolling off him. You rested a hand on his chest feeling his urge to murder those men.

“Killing them won’t solve anything” you said hushed and he stared down at you with big eyes. Now that he was close, you could feel his warmth, feel the muscles beneath your hand, smell his scent.

You closed your eyes for a moment taking him in before you realised what you were doing and stormed away embarrassed.

“What about those dogs?” You asked.

“They’re with good people now, away from that horrible place” he growled the last part and you couldn’t ignore the shivers and unwanted arousal it gave you.

“Good” you whispered as you went back to gardening.

Apparently this was his daily ritual, to greet you in the morning, ask some questions and just be around you. You really couldn’t deny how comforting it was to have his presence, but you also couldn’t ignore how weird it was. After a few days of not shifting your body began to ache, you hated it, hated having to change and run in the forest despite the freedom it gave you. You waited till night, waited till Halsin was gone. You went outside in a robe, shrugged it off and shifted. You took a moment to gather yourself before you took off into the woods. You rested by a lake and looked at the moon reflection rippling in the water. You heard heavy steps and stood, hackles up before you recognised the scent and scar on the big bear. You sat back down listening to him saunter over and sit by you. You enjoyed the cool breeze and took in a breath to smell the forest around you. Halsin bumped you suddenly and you looked to him seeing the bear smile. You huffed at him and looked away feeling him doing it again. You gave him a narrowed look feeling his playfulness. You pushed him back with your body watching him stumble. He roared playfully and you stood up tail wagging slightly. You bowed down slightly in a playful dog stance as he roared softly and began play fighting with you. If someone was to walk by the would be weirded out, but for some reason this felt natural. If you could laugh you would, it just came out a strange grunts and growls as you nipped playfully at Halsins paws. He was stronger though and knocked you into the water. You froze standing up quickly and shivering. You growled charging at him and trying tackle him into the water only to fail. You were pinned under him, paws in the air and you gave a huff. He shifted above you and you tilted your head.

“Shift” he said smiling and you did expecting pain. You frowned though as he waved his hand, yellow light coming from his hand.

“Was that better?” He asked softly and you nodded surprised.

“I’m a Druid” he said.

“Oh” you said glancing at your nakedness and his. You covered your breasts and looked away with cheeks flushed.

“Why do you hide?” He asked and you glanced to him, biting the inside of your cheek.

“This is- intimate” you muttered.

“I’ve never been intimate, nor has anyone seen me like this” you added embarrassed, you glanced to his face seeing his eyes darken slightly but remaining soft.

“May I kiss you?” He asked softly and you froze, but felt yourself nod. He smiled as he leant down, you closed your eyes as you felt him press his lips to yours. You made an embarrassing noise, but he just deepened the kiss. Your arms left covering your breasts and you gripped his forearms instead as he began to kiss down your jaw and to your neck. You felt him press his lower half to you, hips meeting yours, you gasped hand slapping over your mouth. You heard him chuckle lightly, his breath tickling your neck.

“I want to worship you” he said softly and heat ran straight through your body.

“I want to taste you” he pressed a kiss to a sensitive spot on your neck that made you squirm.

“Feel you” he muttered and you sealed your eyes close. You felt his hand rest on your ribs before sliding up your side and over your hip, before gripping your thigh. He gripped the flesh pulling it gently so your knee bent. He stopped kissing your neck and chuckled again as you opened your eyes and flushed, you moved your hand and he kissed you again.

“You’re not so feisty when you’re flustered” he grinned and you glared.

“I was wrong” he chuckled and you hated how you loved the sound. Hated how you loved the feeling of him against you. You were battling with yourself, you didn’t even realise he had slid down your body till lips pressed against your inner thigh. Your eyes went down to his, he smirked pushing your legs further apart before you felt his breath against your folds. Your breath hitched when a tongue darted out and ran through them, a groan leaving his lips as he began to lick. Your body squirmed and you closed your eyes leaning your head back fully. You had one hand on your stomach in a fist, the other at your side, he was skilful, gods you felt like you were in heaven, or hell. You felt his hand snake up your stomach and you opened your hand to hold it, which he gladly accepted. You moaned as he began to suck and prod his tongue against your entrance. You gripped his hand harshly but he didn’t seem to care, too busy working you up with his tongue. You felt fingers though, joining his tongue and sliding in heat. You moaned back arching as he began to slowly thrust his finger in and out. His fingers were much bigger than yours and much more delightful, you kept clenching his hand as you felt your stomach tighten with need and release. You moaned brokenly when he added a second finger, working you open for what was hopefully to come. His mouth paid extra attention to your clit while his fingers scissored and beckoned. You whined lowly muttering a please that you barely managed to get out. You felt him grin and wanted to slap the cockiness off his face, but was too caught in the pressure building. You felt the knot in your stomach come undone as you came with a moan. Your legs shuddered and you panted loudly as he continued riding out your high slowly. He sat back up, and crawled up your body again smiling down at you.

“Beautiful” he whispered and you flushed looking away. You waited for him to move, but he didn’t and you looked back ready to huff at him. He had a playful look and you groaned quietly with a huff, why was he teasing?

“Why’re you teasing?” You asked.

“Because it gets you worked up” he smirked and you glared with a huff, you crossed your arms over your chest too, looking away till he kissed down your neck and you felt his hips shift. You tensed a bit as you felt the tip of his cock resting by your entrance. He grabbed one of your hands and pressed it above your head, clenching it before he thrusted in. You moaned while he groaned in your ear, you held your breath before panting. You clenched his hand, gods you felt full. He let you adjust before slowly skipping out and back in, your eyes slipped shut as you felt the sting.

“Gods” you muttered.

“I’ve got you” he whispered giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You whined in response as he set a slow pace, the sting slowly fading. His hand left yours as he rested on it instead and you wrapped your arms around him. His pace quickened slowly and you were struggling to keep in your moans.

“Only I can hear you” he whispered lifting his head which made you open your eyes. He kissed you gently and you moaned into his mouth as he began to quicken again. He was getting close, his pants became uneven and his hips were moving more desperately. You closed your eyes tightly again, back arching as he sped up to chase his release. You gripped his arms in your hands as his hips stuttered and he came with a groan. His head was in your neck panting harshly as you lifted your hands to run them up and down his back.

“I’m sorry” he suddenly said and you frowned.

“Why?” You asked as he lifted his head.

“I didn’t bring you to your release again” he said looking guilty and you smiled shaking your head pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Another time” you whispered and his eyes widened slightly but smiled as he kissed you once more.

#Halsin #Halsin x reader #x reader #bg3 #shifters

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chizups · 2 months ago

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Enough of that boring realism for now! Behold, sinner, an angel!

Spent too much on this one just because I tried to figure out what tool works best for me as a liner. More than less I am pleased with this piece.

I also was fighting with myself over that hell of a neckline that became a boob window in the end, even though I tried to avoid it through several redesigns there's always next one. Not sure who lost in this situation lol.

In the mood to write some info about this fantasy. I understand that a ship like that is not everyone's cup of tea, BUT it's not for everyone, it's for ME :D

Behold once again: the info dump✨

***

How character came to be in the first place?

I was gifted Far Cry 6 with Collapse DLC and after playing through it, I had some things to say to Joseph. So I needed an avatar to channel my thoughts. Self insert is always an option, but at the moment I was tired of drawing myself and was not in the mood to make another sona. Besides an unusual looking interpretation of Joseph's mind called for some ethereal entity, not a sad bitch like me lol

I also at the moment was obsessed with playing Warframe (still is), design of my character is based on a frame with the same name - Wisp. Her whole theme is being ethereal and wispy, ghostly character, moving between the fabrics of reality, which works nice with The Bliss, I think. And she has no feet. I'm not sure why it became such a thing for me in this case, I just like this artistic choice, that's all.

Is this character a self insert?

Well, in the end not at all😂 Whatever I wanted to tell through her was taken by the wind it seems. When I started thinking about Blissed Wisp, her biography and their interactions with Joseph, I came to realization that she would be just as easily manipulated by him as so many other characters in the plot, therefore will not say a single word from what was intended to be said in the first place.

If character has to fight, what's their weapon of choice?

Blissed Wisp is a skilled fighter (was created to be) and can use any fire weapon available. However her angelic image in the Project of Eden's Gate limits her choices of weapon to hand to hand combat, which would really be a problem only for her opponents since she is much stronger that an average human being and can injure a person without putting effort into it. She has an option to display her divine power (which are based on warframe abilities as well) but burning people alive is not exactly her cup of tea, so she is restraining herself from using it as well. Blissed Wisp leans more into scaring her opponents - her unusual appearance is just enough to do that - or confuse them by pretending to be a ghostly apparition in the woods.

What song describes character and their partner/love interest?

Who is she? - I Monster

Wisp was a mute witness to Joseph's reflections for years, carefully looking through his thoughts and memories without him noticing. He wasn't the only one she was able to reach, but somehow became most fascinating one to her. For many years after she first spoke to him, Joseph wasn't able to even imagine her face, most probably because she was not allowing him to do that: unsure of how long their connection would last, she figured her appearance was unnecessary information for Joseph to know.

However after some time their established relationship and Seed's religiously charged attitude lead to him become strengthened in faith that he in his mind was talking to an angel or a deity, wishing to get closer to her someday and meet in person if possible, since he was aware that Wisp wasn't just a incorporeal entity (despite her name).

With that desire there were many times Joseph "called" her name in his prayers to engage in conversations.

Where does character live?

Many years was spent in the science facility. I already said before that Far Cry 5 and New Dawn with it's Bliss are two steps away from Outlast and SCP, so I figured making a lab rat of a character that got turned basically into cyborg wasn't really that long of a stretch, but you don't need to agree.

If Wisp arrives in Hope County in time closer to Far Cry 5 dates, her place of residence would be a run down church somewhere in Henbane River region. When she's not there, she is rolling across the bliss fields just genuinely enjoying her freedom under the sun.

She doesn't really hide and is no stranger to cultists in other regions, but in general avoids being seen by people that are not following Joseph's word.

If Wisp arrives in what's left of Hope County by the time of New Dawn, she sticks to New Eden's region, mostly by Joseph's side, helping him with whatever and protecting his people.

How does character handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

Frankly has no idea what mental health is, when it comes to her, trauma is not a word Wisp would use to describe her struggles, yet she is not just traumatized, but was trained for decades to believe that all the suffering she endured - mental and physical - is for the greater purpose that she might not even understand, but pain is inescapable.

However in case of other people, Blissed Wisp mostly understands the needlessness of their suffering, therefore when being a witness to people mental or physical struggles, she feels compassion and expresses it without doubts.

How do Seeds feel about the character?

As was said, obviously Joseph is a big fan. They have a long lasting connection that in some scenarios grows into kind of a romance between a mere man and a deity. Besides the fact that Joseph cherishes his relationship with Blissed Wisp, his Pride cannot help but make somewhat subtle advances towards her now and again in an attempt to strengthen his feeling of uniqueness and chosenness: a unique partner for The Chosen Son of God and Savior of Humanity sounds just right in his mind.

Jacob keeps his distance and is a bit afraid of the entity that Blissed Wisp appears to be in his eyes. Despite the fact that of all people her and Jacob could've find quite a few themes to talk about, he has a hard time to accept her existence, since none of his beliefs really implied the possibility of meeting something like Wisp at all. Of all heralds he is the one who is closed away from Wisp's influence and does not appreciate her in the mountains.

Faith is almost as big of a fan as Joseph, though she is not aware of Blissed Wisp's real nature and believes in her angelic origin, which is not surprising since girl is probably high most of the time. But then again, Wisp was able to insert herself into The Bliss, and that made girls grow closer to each other at least on that topic.

John Seed takes very little of this angelic bullshit, but keeps his mouth shut to appease Joseph first and foremost. He does not believe in Blissed Wisp being an angel, and in his eyes, if paranormal exists, she is a demon at best. However he is not nearly as closed as his older brother and is able to open his mind to Wisp in some cases.

Why this name?

Wisp is not the name of this woman, but the name of the entity she was designed to be. The purposes she was created for did not imply her having a name at all.

Blissed she became under Joseph's influence at Eden's Gate.

What people say about the character?

Though Blissed Wisp is not exactly hiding from people, the influence of Eden's Gate has spread so much, barely any person outside the project would be able to catch a glance of this unusual looking gal. But some did, and that made her into some sort of a local cryptid. Obviously not too many people believe that there is an actual angel roaming Hope County, but people talk there is some... thing.

Sharky was able not only see Blissed Wisp, but have a small chat with her as well and after that just calls her "Joseph's chick" absolutely ignoring her name.

#far cry 5 #fc5 oc #oc: blissed wisp #oc questions #nobody needs this like I do #like for the art #it's fine if you didn't read #canon x oc #joseph seed #art #chizups #headcanons #my art #oc infodump

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beesmygod · 19 days ago

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what bloodborne bosses do you think could be imported into night reign easily? amygdala feels like it would be a blast in elden ring and blood starved beast seems like it could fit in as well

ok i can finally think about this properly. first i agree with you. absolutely amygdala. astel and amygdala are similar enough in scale and behavior that it would be a perfect fit for the combat mechanics of elden ring. the biggest change to consider is the amount of verticality so as long as we choose bosses that aren't instantly wrecked by jumping it should be good.

THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO SEE:

i never want to fight the cleric beast ever again in my life. that includes laurence.

amelia is a boring fight.

the celestial emissary is easily one of the more boring "mob" bosses made by from and should be skipped.

the shadows of yharnam are just three guys. i hate fighting rom unironically.

witch of hemwick is interesting to fight once and after that its just gaming the gimmick to get it done asap.

the one reborn sucks ass.

sulyvahn is the more interesting version of mergo's wet nurse. i would rather see him.

there are more interesting wolves in other games other than paarl.

the living failures are also not good.

DO NOT PUT THE UNDEAD GIANT IN. DONT DO IT

MAYBE:

i would love to fight ebrietas more but since metyr, mother of fingers already exists in the game they might as well stick with her.

gascoigne is like. one of the best bosses in bloodborne, but he's kind of custom-tailored to be a skill check for that game's mechanics specifically. i just don't know if he would have the same sauce without the fight revolving around parrying mechanics.

i don't know if logarius would work. jumping makes his projectiles way less intimidating and you would be able to jump into the sky with him like its a DBZ battle lol

LET'S GOOOO:

i think the blood-starved beast would make an excellent addition to the boss roster because it is fast as fuck and highly aggressive.

gehrman is just a solid fight. no problems with him

same with lady maria but it looks like we're getting a lady maria expy character as one of the player characters. hoo hoo! neat!

lugwig is a really good fight. no reason not to include him. if they can dodge the golden hippo or the fallingstar beast, they can dodge him.

MOON PRESENCE!!! MOON PRESENCE!!!

fuck it, put the orphan in. he's a good fight but idk how he'll translate to a sword and shield game. i beat him with pure parries lol.

yharnam please. i miss her so much.

actually both of the pthumerian descendants too. i miss those guys once they're gone. they're really fun.

the bloodletting and abhorrent beast are fine. they can come too.

COMEDY OPTION: micolash

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blue-slxt · 1 year ago

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Kinktober 2

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Kinktober Masterlist

A/N: My first Spider piece! I'm super excited and nervous to get this one out! This was totally inspired by Luna! You can't tell me that Spider is not a pussy eating god. I hope you guys enjoy! All characters are aged up.

Pairing: Spider x Fem!Human!Reader

Warnings: Oral (F receiving), Teasing, Hair Pulling, Reader talks a lot of shit lol

You’d always had kind of a crush on Spider. As the only other human child left behind on Pandora, you two spent pretty much all of your time together. What started out as a fascination with the only other kid around that looked like you, grew into infatuation for the beautiful, strong man he had grown into. All your lives, you had only had eyes for him and you made it very well known.

Some might say you were…a flirt. Sometimes it seemed that every other sentence out of you was some kind of innuendo or some coy remark. And Spider never seemed to mind. If anything, it endeared you to him. He admired how straight forward you were, even if he never actually acted on any of your advances.

Today started off typical enough. You and Spider were hanging around the lab while Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Kiri were out doing their respective trainings. When you got bored, you two would play palulukan and hunter together. One would be the hunter and the other would be the predator and you would chase each other around trying to see who could corner the other one first. Today, you were the hunter. Spider runs and jumps around your room while you shoot pretend arrows at him and chase after him.

“Oh, you’re a slippery one!” you say firing off another imaginary arrow. Spider quickly evades your shot and comes up behind you and tackles you to the floor. Before you can react, he’s got both your arms pinned and your hips are trapped under the weight of his body. He leans down to your face smiling his lopsided grin that made your heart jump.

“Looks like I win. Again.”

You can’t help but to grin up at him.

“Oh, Spider, you know, I can think of a better use for that pretty mouth of yours than talking shit.” You shoot him a wink and you’re surprised when he raises an eyebrow at you instead of rolling his eyes as usual.

“You couldn’t handle what I’d give you” he says with his eyes flicking down to your lips. It feels like your breath gets caught in your chest. It feels like one of your fantasies coming true right in front of your eyes.

“Come on, I’m a big girl. I tie my own tewng and everything.” You playfully quip at him.

In seconds, his lips are on yours and his hands are all over you. Your hands fly up to get lost in his hair and you quietly pray in your head for this moment to never end.

It feels like his lips leave yours too soon, but they’re immediately back on you down your neck and chest pausing to suck on your stiff nipples.

“Mmf!” it’s an embarrassing squeak that you make. It’s only made even more embarrassing when he gives you that damn smug grin. You roll your eyes at him, “Shut up. You haven’t even done anything yet.”

His hand dips between your legs and straight under your tewng rolling his finger over your clit.

“And yet, you’re already this wet for me.” He says letting his tongue lick a long stripe up your chest between your breasts.

You and Spider may be humans, but his confidence and skill is all na’vi. Your face burns and it’s all you can do just to hold his gaze as he works his way further down your body.

He slides your loincloth to the side to expose your glistening cunt and holds your legs open by the backs of your knees.

You can’t bear to look at him any more when your hands shoot up over your face hoping to hide the flush in your cheeks.

“Aw, don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me now.” You can hear the smirk that he’s wearing right now.

“Shut up.” You say but it comes out muffled behind your palms.

Suddenly a warmth closes around your pussy and your hands fall from your face to see Spider’s head between your thighs. You could feel how he sucked lightly on your clit making your hips jump.

You had heard rumors from girls in the clan about how skilled Spider was, but damn, those rumors don’t do him justice with the way he’s devouring your cunt right now.

Your head flies back and your back arches in ecstasy letting the pleasure overtake you.

“Haah! Spider!” you whine.

His hands temporarily leave your thighs to grab your wrists and lead your hands to his hair, urging you to grip and when he buries his tongue inside of you, your fingers immediately grab hold of him. He lets out a groan of satisfaction at the tug on his hair as he buries his face further into you if that were even still possible.

“Oh, my God! Oh, f-fuck! I’m gonna cum!” you say starting to buck your hips against his face.

“Mhm” he hums against your clit sending chills up your spine.

“Ah…shit!”

You shamelessly chase your climax using his mouth to get you there and when you finally reach it, your whole body convulses making your back raise up from the floor and your thighs squeeze around his head. Your hands are caught in a death grip on his hair and he moans against your pussy lapping up your free flowing arousal as you came undone.

Your body falls to the floor numb and the rise and fall of your chest is erratic trying to calm your thundering heart. Spider pulls off of you licking his lips still relishing in the taste of you on his mouth.

“Told you that you couldn’t handle it” he says still wearing that damn grin that stretches from ear to ear.

“What are you talking about? I’m still perfectly fine.” You say very obviously out of breath. “I was just letting you have your fun, but if I got serious, you’d be a mess.”

“Oh yea?” he says bringing his face back to yours and running a thumb over your lower lip. “Well, then how about we put that pretty little mouth of yours to work?” he taunts, mimicking your line from earlier.

You and your big mouth…

Kinktober Taglist: @pandoraslxna @ashlatano7567 @sincerelykaib @jamies-wh0re @quaritchsluts @jakescumdump @delacruzyari @onlyloaksgf @skywonder @taintedlovesworld @myloveforyouisforever @angie-1306 @moodays @childofgod-05 @hadesbabygurl @daddysmurfslefttoenail @loaksulluyswife @y4sm1nsstuff @thewhiltedpeony @lovefrommeelise @neteyamssyulang @rosyjn @imintoomanyfandomscuzihaveadhd @anaclaudiasugar @xxwelshqueenxx @hania11 @xylianasblog @idkanymoregirl @eyrina-avatar @biscuitsaredelish @quinn-sadilla @the_mourning_moon @eyweveng @puddleswimmingnerd-blog @xaxsir @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @navilover24 @sulieykte @iameatingmyhair @leaveitbythewave @ntymavtr @fifilynn16 @kiri-tuk @mstocky78 @neteyamyawne @randumfanfics @sliqeramx @bluewonder @the-morning-moon @nerdfacesposts @vip-btxch @neteyamsyawntu @neteyamsoare

(If your tag isn't working, please check your settings.)

#avatar #avatar the way of water #awow #avatar fic #avatar fanfiction #avatar smut #avatar twow #spider x reader smut #spider socorro #spider soccoro x reader #lunaskinktober2023

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ay0nha · 1 year ago

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LIFE IS BUT A DREAM | SHANKS (OPLA)

SUMMARY: You had done unspeakable things, figuring it was an acceptable way to siphon your affection. You were young and blinded by false idolization. Shanks chose to see the best in you, even now, even after everything. He, too, was blinded by an image of you that hadn’t changed since you were young.

PAIRING: OPLA!Shanks x f!reader (Gold D. Roger's daughter)

WORDS COUNT: 3K~

WARNINGS: canon-typical things, enemies to lovers, jail, talk of death and things related, morally grey reader, ANGST, RUSHED ending, flowery language, injuries, blood, murder, random ocs (aka fictional villains inserts), idk really what the plot is besides just straight angst lol, etc.

A/N: I got a couple of Shanks requests, so I combined them all as they were very similar. Thank you SO much to @wood-white-writer for inspiring my reader and helping me along, and @togenabi for entertaining my rambling! I'm begging you to go check out their fics because they are *divine*. Enjoy.

The waves that thrust against the coast lulled you into a meditative state. It made the time pass with uncertainty. Even the briny smell of the warm breeze cradled you in a way that pulled the weight from your shoulders.

You never thought jail to be so idyllic.

It was tempting to postpone your escape for a bit longer; there were only so many opportunities to stretch your spine and rest. Yet, your left eye twitched, warning you your premonition was soon to be true.

It was on the simpler side, a vision of dark shadows intentionally elusive. The bars that separated you from the world were bent, promising damage from the strength that wasn’t your own. You knew he was coming. It was sooner than you thought, but you learned long ago that your foresight would never be reliable.

It favored him over you.

When you were younger, you thought you were crazy, seeing apparitions or former lives. However, as years passed, familiar faces began to fill your vision, showing truths you became excited to fulfill. But they became warped with opposing desires and reverberating fear wreathed with vindication.

It made things sour and sore. It allowed trouble to seek you out just to be ill-prepared for your counter. It wasn’t bravery that energized you, nor was it skill. Pure spite drove you to be the worst of all.

“On your feet.”

The serenity you had slipped through your fingers like warm sand. The guard repeated his command, using force to pull at the chains connecting your limbs. You couldn’t help but smile at what he thought was a punishment.

“Rumor has it, you’re hot shit.” The guard scoffed, voice echoing the dripping hallways. The way he trailed your body exposed his lust. “They’re not wrong by the looks of it…”

The guard’s weak come-ons warbled in your ears like a white noise. You used the moment to fulfill a repeated daydream. That liminal space presented your strength as you pulled your chains around the guard’s neck until there was no longer resistance.

The conversations were typically cyclical, feigned disinterest to disguise the anxiety your proximity created or those whose egos convinced they could charm you. You stopped paying attention to the rumors the more embellished they became. To some, you were a mercenary; to others, a frenzied psychopath.

The only truth they held was how deliberately unrestrained you were willing to be. There was no rhyme or reason behind it; at least you were close to convincing yourself of that. Regardless, it had gotten you far, the only thing you’d even consider reliable.

“You hear something?” The guard perked, pulling you harshly toward him. How brave of him to use me as a shield, you thought. Your attention returned when it sounded again, “Shit!—

The bang was loud—time had bested you.

You were lucky to recognize the canon’s whistle and use the commotion to regain an advantage. The current reality had yet to become your destiny. If you moved quickly enough, you wouldn’t have to catch your death in such a dilapidated place.

Maneuvering your body unnaturally, you felt for the knife hidden on your thigh. The guard was panicking despite training not to split on whether to keep his eyes on you or the trouble you unknowingly caused.

Using his momentary stupor, your chains wrapped tightly around his throat. It was better than any dream to feel the way the air caught in his body, never to be released. Any lingering struggle stopped when your knife found an artery.

The blood sputtered, feeling warm against your hands. It was messy, but its carnality evoked an almost erotic sensation that was inimitable. Plenty felt power connected to the strength it took to take away something vital. It corrupted them and blinded them from the true potentiality of the action.

It made life seem like nothing more than overflowing fragility. It was well-known time with the world and sea was limited, and eventually, everyone would end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. There was a purposeful lack of originality there solely due to fear of change.

Yet, when one danced with death, you became the music.

You wiped your fingers across your neck, rubbing the tight knots that met at your shoulders. The fresh blood would stain your skin, but you craved a performance. You readied yourself for the approaching marine boots. The staging was almost too believable, but every second was convincing.

“Fuck. Fuck—” The words tumbled from your quivering lip. You couldn’t think of anything else, repeating the curse. You smeared the blood on your shirt, a mindless move to rid yourself of taking someone’s life. “Help me, please. This man—I don’t—he came after me—the others are still back there, they’ll be here any moment—I didn’t know what to do—

“Still with the theatrics, eh?”

Your crocodile tears ceased to stream down your cheeks. The feigned, horrified expression turned into an unearthed fury. Shame on you for missing the stray red hairs at the nape of the guard’s neck.

“Shanks.” You greeted dryly. “You’re early.”

It was hard for Shanks to meet your eye. He was far from intimidated, but the wild look in your eyes made him hesitate. The years had been kind to you as if you traded your soul for youth. But it was a foolish thought that the devil would be so naive to make a deal with you.

“Was that necessary?” Shanks nodded to the man behind you.

“And I thought the canons were a bit excessive.” You tutted as if your opposing opinions were trivial. “And yet here we are…”

“Love—

You hadn’t believed in love, and you were ready to carry that grudge—until him. It wasn’t proper love, proving your skepticism in the emotion correctly. But it was the closest you’ve ever been, could ever be.

You had done unspeakable things, figuring it was an acceptable way to siphon your affection. You were young and blinded by false idolization. Shanks chose to see the best in you, even now, even after everything. He, too, was blinded by an image of you that hadn’t changed since you were young.

“Let’s get this on with,” You stopped him, moving swiftly to feel the body below you for anything valuable. “Tumole gave me up, then? That’s how you found me? Bastard.”

You smiled at the image: Shanks holding the poor man upside down, kindness still in his threats to find you. Violence was never necessary with Tumole, always one to ramble away anyone’s secret for safety. However, it was as though you subconsciously left a clue, but you knew the crumbs Shanks found weren’t worth it.

“You really wasted your crew’s time on me...” You stood, pulling your neck until it popped. It had been a while since you had a one-on-one with Shanks, but you knew he’d always pull his punches. “Must really be desperate—

“I won’t fight you.” He tracked your posture. Your exterior was calm, but with every twitch calculated, you were nearing rabid. “It’s not worth it.”

“Tell me, then, what I’m worth to you, Shanks?” You taunted. It was obvious what he wanted to say: saving. His emotion was always his weakness.

His pause was intentional, stalling of sorts to let the exchange sink in. Standing under Shanks ' gaze, your body had a new form of reprieve. A facade wasn’t necessary, but you weren’t willing to lose more of yourself to another.

Your anger dissipated into a haze. It pulled a frown from Shanks as your breathing steadied only to slow. The harder you blinked, the more you forgot your argument. Even if you had held onto it, the lump in your throat wouldn’t allow it to exist.

Shanks’ lips shaped your name, but all you could hear was a mild ringing, a buzz. His step forward elicited an instinct to step back.

“Don’t—” You spat. Your left arm was like static, numb from the shoulder down, an ironic consequence of dismissing your opposite. “—fucking touch me.”

Your vision was the last to go, allowing you to watch yourself crumble; your knees locked, and the palm of your hands broke your fall, exposing how blood pooled from your arm. When did that happen? It had nothing to do with pain tolerance or adrenaline; you were distracted by your vision, doing what you could to change its form.

However, your effort was useless to make sense of it. You read it wrong; forgetting things such as foresight was rarely linear. As the world around you closed in, clouding your vision, you realized the open bars weren’t an entrance to your cell. Rather, it was the exit Shanks carried you through with success.

You were never destined to win.

—

The dream always teased you with muddled memories.

They always started the same, a mirrored image of the room you grew up in. Only a few feet separated the sacks the headmistress would call your beds. Your fingertips felt the scratchy fabric of the cheap blankets.

When the dreams first began, you believed they were real, that you’d never left the dormitory of the dingy children’s home. But the feeling of the monochrome bedding was always wrong, your dream never quite getting the textures correct. So, there was no room for nostalgia.

It was as if you were stuck in a loop, hand rhythmically gliding across the bedding in hopes of softening it. It was neither tranquil nor eerie. Its structure was that of a fever dream, its kaleidoscope quality provoking you to interpret it.

Its symbolization didn’t go past you, but it always felt uninvolved—superficial even. At the time, your child wonderment knew no difference between the life you had and the life you were meant to exist in.

As any child did, you dreamed of silks and decadent food. Candies and luxuries. You dreamed of family and warmth. Hope drove those fantasies, but there was no point in clinging to hope when you found out you weren’t wanted.

Gol D. Roger. Pirate King. The name circled every coastal town and seeped into every deep forest. His mirth was enviable, and his skill indomitable. You wanted to hold indifference toward him, but every bounty you saw enamored you. He made hope seem regainable.

You looked down at your hand, seeing your hand change shape with each slow swipe across the bed. Your slender fingers became older, calloused. Experienced. Moving to see the palm, you saw the lifeline had ended and an elaborate red sleeve scratched at your—Gol D. Roger’s—wrist.

You flinched as if you were burnt. You wanted to rid yourself of the attachment by any means. But it didn’t matter when your blood was intertwined. There was no escaping your lineage, your father.

The longer you lingered with the feeling, your surroundings slowly morphed. A wind picked up but hadn’t raised chills across your arms—not yet. You wanted to stretch now that your hand became your own again.

However, a sway lulled you into your environment. The ships were always different, never ones you recognized. You’d like to praise your brain’s creativity, but you knew you’d step foot on every deck at some point in life. If you were smart, you would have noted each and every one. It was hard to when the horizon seemed so…

“The tide is strange…” You hummed. Although your voice vibrated in your chest, it felt delayed, like an echo of someone else.

A hand trailed your spine with warmth. Goosebumps littered your body. You hadn’t thought to fight them, knowing the touch belonged to someone who put far too much faith in you.

“Am I finally rubbing off on you?” Shanks matched your hum, creating more serenity than you could handle. It was purposeful to calm you and invite you in.

“No, no…” You echoed again, shaking your head. Shanks continued with his charm, making promises that the sea and he could fulfill. However, your eyes didn’t leave the shore, the tide much more vast than you’ve ever seen. “...no, there’s—There’s something changing it.” You paused, nausea hitting you boldly. “...someone…maybe? Don’t you feel that?”

Another laugh, more hollow than the last. You had yet to face Shanks, only trusting his touch. It started to burn when you finally turned to him. He was physically present, but his eyes were vacant as if a copy of himself.

“Love, just try and relax.” His smile was plastered, almost painfully. “Nothing's wrong anymore. Nothing will change—

You frowned. “Shanks—

“She won’t hurt us.” Shanks caught you in his hold. You finally understood the deception and recognized the wolf in sheep’s clothing. “She gave me her word.”

—

You jolted awake.

The image wasn’t explicit, but it made you squirm; your back arched against the deck’s railing until your fingertips touched the waves below. You never sunk or floated, but you breathed in the water and felt it swallow you whole with a salty taste.

Your chest was tight, careful not to suck in your breath too quickly. Despite still being bleary-eyed, you knew you weren’t alone. You knotted your fingers in the bed’s fabric to ground you. The room's scent reminded you to breathe before succumbing to your subconscious torture again.

“You alright?” Shanks called from the deepest corner of the room. He was swift to strike a match to see your condition for himself.

The candlelight illuminated the gauze that nurtured your stiff arm. Shanks reprimanded you slightly as you pushed yourself up. Shanks knew you well, understanding that you were already seeking an escape from whatever plagued you. The look in your eye told him you would run regardless of a purpose.

“What did you see?” His voice remained calm, tone unwavering with vigilance.

“I didn’t.” Your defiance was your only form of defense on his ship.

Slight relief came from how Shank’s eyebrow dared to twitch with frustration. It meant he was real. Your blood pumped slower at the unorthodox respite. You continued to move, to stand despite your sore body. Shanks was still blocking your way to the door, but you paced lightly to rid yourself of the jitters.

“You can talk to me.” Shanks knew you were frazzled, and he was determined to coax the cause out of you. “I understand why you’re—

“Daddy dearest has nothing to do with this.” You hissed, hating the assumption. “Don’t you understand there was a reason your beloved captain left me to rot all those years ago? When will you learn to do the same?”

Shanks didn’t lack sympathy for you, but he understood why your father chose to keep you away from the life that proved only to hurt you. Shanks intended to keep the promise he made to you before you learned it was by the instruction of your father.

“I gave my word.” Shanks countered. His word choice made you flinch, your dream still fresh. He softened to repeat himself. “I gave my word to keep you safe. This has nothing to do with —

“Safe with a pirate, eh?” You scoffed, picking up what was most likely a stolen treasure. You held no qualms with his lifestyle, but you refused the overlap Shanks wanted to share. “That’ll be the fucking day.”

You felt a needle of pain in your nose like you were near tears, the guilt settling the bile in your throat. The game of cat and mouse was getting old. It was a facetious argument you used for distraction. The bravado you held was angry and vengeful.

“I know you’ve heard the rumors…” Shanks sighed as if his strategy to coax a conversation out of you backfired. “Cain is spreading out, searching for you. She won’t stop this time.”

You dropped the small object of treasure back into its place. Any emotion was swallowed and digested. There was little energy left to pretend to argue. You needed to leave the room before you suffocated. Shanks wouldn’t block if you tried.

You lingered, waiting for him to spit out the obvious. “Look, I know you saw her—

“I felt her.” Your expression, even mixed with vulnerability, was composed with passivity. Your composure could fool most, but to a trained eye, your discomfort was obvious.

Your admission was desperate, breaking a tension that had filled the air. You wouldn’t crumble. You tried to hold it in, breathing evenly to suppress any sobbing urge. It was neither the time nor the place for added emotion.

“I need to know the full story.” He replied thoughtfully.

He mistook his demeanor for bravery, but his true bravery formed by being across from you. The only barrier seemed to be Shanks’ incorruptible moral code, a space where you couldn’t quite freely exist.

You wanted so badly to trust him. You sought his comfort. The feeling felt foreign, so you prickled.

“You already know how it ends. What does the rest matter?” You always leaned on pessimism. “I want nothing to do with this. With her.”

“I’ll be beside you the entire time,” Shanks promised, voice low and steady, reflecting his sincerity. You could make out the warmth he was willing to share, but you couldn’t accept it wholly.

“And my interests?”

Shanks’ expression fell slightly at your evasive rejection. “It depends on where they lie.”

In an ideal world, you’d like to think you and Shanks could be friends. Frankly, though, his compassion made you nauseous. Or maybe it was nerves. The feeling was always hard for you to distinguish. You wished the way he looked at you would warm your chest, but it only reminded you of how that was another impossibility.

Although you were still present, Shanks watched you flee. Your guard returned stronger, but he didn’t regret his words. Shanks’ eyes were pleading, and you went to chastise him, but you found something distinct there.

You didn’t know what to do with it, but to muse a buried thought. "...Empathy will get you killed, Shanks.”

“Then, I am a dead man walking.”

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