#and other bi and gnc women in general

[gender-critical-analytical]

cannot believe sophia lillis is only five feet tall, no inches. I think maybe I just have a thing for short women

[jemandrr]

accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

[5-htagonist]

l@imari has a place in my heart fr

[the-polls]

For my fellow lovers of pushing buttons. I just wanted to have a post to shout out different poll blogs that I can link to and add to. If you want me to add your blog or shout one out, let me know.

EDIT: I've reached the tag limit and realized there is a link limit so I have a carrd I'm using as a poll directory so continue to let me know of poll blogs! I'll add blogs here as links but there's also a link limit, so the carrd will probably be most up-to-date.

I've crossed out the ones that seem to have been deleted/deactivated, but if it's still there and just changed urls let me know.

General Polls ● the-polls (this blog) ● incognitopolls ● apolladay ● anonymous-polling ● anon-polls-for-you ● justcuriouspolls ● oddpolls ● swarm-of-polls-in-a-trench-coat ● thisthat-ortheother ● yesornopolls ● parttimepolls ● reblogforsamplesize ● whatcha-thinkin ● i-reblog-every-poll-i-see ● augmentedpolls ● polls-drugs-etc ● lamp-polls ● pollforthesoul ● poll-boy ● curiositysavesthecat ● anonpolls ● just-a-blog-for-polls ● yayornaypolls ● pollsforpondering ● themostrandompolls ● poll-position ● anonym-polls ● pollsgalore

NSFW (18+) Polls ● spicypolls

Poll Adjacent ● poll-stats ● seeresultssweep

Identity Specific Polls ● aspecpolls - Aspec ● aro-polls - Aromantic ● asexualpolls - Asexual ● gaypolls - Gay/Lesbian ● lesbianpolls - Lesbian ● mspecpolls - MSpec (Bi, Pan, Omni, etc.) ● transgenderpolls - Transgender ● nonbinary-polls - Nonbinary ● gnc-polls - Gender Non-Conforming ● queer-questions-and-polls - Queer ● queer-polls - Queer ● plurality-polls - plurality / systems ● plurality-polls-2 - plurality / systems

Fandom Polls ● pollsnatural - Supernatural (TV) ● tmapolls - The Magnus Archives (Podcast) ● onepiece-polls - One Piece (Anime/Manga) ● anon-scp-polls - SCP ● middleearth-polls - LOTR, The Hobbit, Tolkien ● bts-polls - BTS (Kpop) ● swiftpolls - Taylor Swift (Singer) ● dragonagepolls - Dragon Age (Game) ● sdv-polls - Stardew Valley (Game) ● tally-polls - Tally Hall (Banad) ● loonathepoll - Loona (Kpop) ● dungeonmeshi-polls - Dungeon Meshi ● animalcrossingopinionpoll - Animal Crossing Character Opinions ● nether-have-i-ever - The game "never have i ever" but for Minecraft

"Do you know..." or "Have you seen/played/etc" Polls ● haveyouseenthismovie-poll - Movies ● haveyouseenthisqueerfilm - Queer Films ● haveyouseenthis90smovie - 90s Movies ● haveyouseenthishorrormovie - Horror Movies ● haveyouseenthisromcom - RomComs ● haveyouseenthismusical - Musicals ● doyouknowthischaracter - Characters ● haveyouheardthispodcast - Podcasts ● doyouknowthisanime - Anime ● do-you-know-this-youtuber - YouTubers ● haveyoureadthisbook-poll - Books ● haveyoureadthistransbook - Trans Books ● haveyoureadthispoem-poll - Poems ● haveyouplayedthisgame - Video Games ● haveyouplayedthisirlgame-poll - IRL Games ● doyouknowthistmntau - TMNT AUs ● doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter - Disabled Characters ● areyouthisidentity-polls - Gender/Sexuality ● haveyouplayedthisttrpg - Tabletop Role-playing Games ● doyouknowthisactor - Actors ● doyouknowa - Names ● fictionalfoodpolls - Would you eat [x] fictional food? ● watchlist-poll - Movie Watchlist

Tournaments ● whoishotteranimepolls ● chuunibyou-showdown ● hotvintagepoll ● vgtrackbracket ● mlmshipbracket ● spicymalepolls (18+) ● which-is-the-very-best ● does-it-like-women ● adaptations-polls

Other ● which-item-poll ● rate-a-spam-bot ● daily-oc-polls ● horrorpolls ● hypothetipolls ● trivia-polls-daily

[perenlop]

“this story cant have [bigoted] themes, the author is [a part of that marginalized group]!” discourse is stupid as hell in general because it stubbornly refuses to engage with intracommunity issues and internalized hatred, or at least any more than treating it like a pokemon type chart, but one of the subtypes i get really annoyed with is when people go “how can this story POSSIBLY be misogynistic when a WOMAN wrote it?” yknow. when the whole “not like other girls” thing was a whole trend. and when transmisogyny exists. misogynoir. . homophobia against lesbian/bi/gnc women. hatred against women who dont want kids or are vaguely feminist. where there are several tropes that amount to “women DESPISES other type of woman who is inferior to her <3”. boymoms in general.

[velvetvexations]

I'm not a trans woman, just a trans person who has been very active in trans and queer spaces, so it actually makes me really sad to see so many transradfems absolutely vilify femboys and gnc men because from what I've seen a LOT of trans women start out as gnc "men" or femboys or drag queens even just expiriementing in a safe place that welcomes that before realizing they're actually women and heading out(or even still being there hanging with the people who welcomed them when they were unsure and needed a community that wouldn't treat them like a freak for saying "I don't want to be masculine anymore").

Like so many trans men and mascs start out ID-ing as butch lesbians or just butches/tomboys in general and they don't turn around and vilify non-transmasc butches and tomboys as like...transandrophobes or women play acting as men, and most of them keep their ties to that community because again, that's where they were welcomed and sheltered while they figured stuff out.

And I know SO many asexuals who thought they were bi before realizing they were ace and while that isn't exactly the same they don't like, turn around and attack bi people for welcoming them as a member of the club when they needed support.

I mean it is just my perspective and I'm just one person and again I'm not a trans woman but nearly every trans woman I know who didn't like come out as a 6 year old started out just dressing up as a girl for fun first and hanging out in gnc, femboy, and drag spaces. And isn't this also why we have egg jokes about femboys and gnc men(as much as I don't like them)?? Because it's common to start off there before cracking and realizing "oh I'm a girl actually"? Why are transradfems being like "yeah I started here but everyone ELSE there is a transphobic freak" like???

It just...idk it's really sad to see transradfems attack gnc men and femboys and drag queens even because like, you obviously don't owe them anything or have to view them as your saviors or whatever but there's undeniable community overlap and seeing that ignored in favor of pretending anyone wearing woman's clothes while IDing as a man is clearly a massive transmisognist freak who deserves to be attacked when that's what a lot of trans women started out as is like...what?

Makes me really sad. We're supposed to be in this together, right? We're all deviants in one way or another, I even count otherwise cishet but still gnc men as my queer allies, like it or not imo back when Finnster ID-ed as a cishet man I still thought they were one of us(I mean getting banned from twitch for adjusting your bra strap seems like some textbook misogyny and even transmisogny but what do I know), we're all under attack for just trying to live the lives we want to live. What good does it do to divide us up like this. How are those of us who don't know right away going to find our footing if we don't have safe spaces to expiriement with people who will love and support us and cheer when we figure out who we truly are? How are those of us who are deviant but not trans supposed to thrive without support and acceptance?

Isn't that what this is all supposed to be about?

It's depressing. Thank you for your thoughts, anon. <3 I appreciate that others see this same thing and also despair. It makes me feel like I'm not cracking up to know that this is alarming to you as well.

[blood-choke]

I thought butch is a lesbian only term?

hmmm yes and no? this is something that doesn't really have a simple answer. it depends who you ask; people have different opinions about it.

in general, the term butch means a lot of different things in the lgbt community. obviously there's butch lesbians, but it's also a term that's used in ball culture, by drag queens and gay men. it's an adjective, it's a gender, it's an orientation. i assume you're referencing the other anon, and i have no idea what they may mean when they call themselves butch. if we're talking about bisexual women then the truth is that bisexual women can have just as complex experiences with gender and presentation as lesbians and i don't really think it benefits anybody to exclude them from the community.

like i said previously, butch is not just an "aesthetic"; there's more to it than just dressing a certain way. i think it's way more harmful to pretend like other women don't also grapple with their gender identity and their sexuality and their gendered roles in society-- basically, we should celebrate our similarities rather than argue our differences.

a lot of the time people say bisexuals can't be butches because they still "cater to men" which to me is just a gross thing to say. there are plenty of bi people who prefer women, who do not pursue men, who are gender nonconforming; and even if they do prefer men, if they date men, that still doesn't mean they're "catering" to anybody. it's a very... dehumanizing and misogynistic attitude to have when talking about bi women imo (and straight women as well)

the term butch/femme was historically used by all gay women; butch/femme in this context, are roles that came about in the working-class lesbian bar scene in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. there were plenty of bisexual women that went to lesbian bars and filled these roles as well. there's bulldagger, bulldyke, and stud, that came out of Black lesbian communities. there's kiki, which isn't used at all anymore, to describe lesbians that don't identify as either. there are people that will insist that bisexuals use the term "stag" and "doe" which i don't think is fair; most people do not know what these terms mean and there is no "stag community" as far as i'm aware. i'm pretty sure these are just tumblr terms.

what it all comes down to is that when people see a gnc woman in the street, they're not going to rush over and politely ask if she's a lesbian or not. to be blunt, most of the time they're going to call them the same slur, regardless. the world is going to treat them the same, regardless. so for me personally i'd rather offer them a little bit of relief in a community that is familiar and understanding rather than exclude them to face that kind of shit all alone iykwim.

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[genderkoolaid]

Hi! I pondered today the post you've reblogged asking people to examine their biases in how they perceive transmascs. My thought was only vaguely related, as it was more related to bisexualism. I hope it's not an issue. I'd like to share it, as I respect you a lot. (Thank you lots for introducing me multigenderism! I didn't knew it was an option and I'm exploring a little! :3)

Specifically I was thinking about the erasure of men perceived as feminine from mlw relationships. There's this... assumption, that feminine men are almost inherently (OOF) unable to be attracted to women? (Putting aside fandom bias to ships involving women in the first place.) What's up with that??I cannot quite put it in the words properly but... it just doesn't sit right with me. Idk, it feels... emasculating? Like, being a femme is a vibe, a presentation, etc, but if it's a femme man it's still *very much a man*. This + typical bisexual erasure and overall assuming you can clock people's sexuality on appearance alone... Probably more that eludes me. I'm still grappling with it. Idk, there's probably much more to say here but... it's upsetting emotionally to me, personally. I'm an afab woman (maybe more) so please, *please* take my input with a grain of salt. It's just that I love men. I adore them. I want to learn more about them, learn their struggles, help them if I can. I might love them even more out of spite when biphobic people scorn at it bc it's not queer enough. Here's the catch: My type specifically is femmes. As a femme woman. So ironically my longing towards men always felt more "broken" and "unachievable" then towards women. Bc for years it felt like... femme men would never want me, by the virtue of who I am. With what body I was born and feel at home in. Idk where I'm going with this at this point. I guess I too wish people would examine their biases. In this case towards feminine men. For the sake of all men, trans, cis, femme/butch... and people who love them. Emasculating men hurts everybody. Even women, such as myself. I hope I haven't at any point sounded as equating "feminine men" to "transmasc", btw! I do NOT believe transmasc are feminine! If at any point I was coming of like that by bringing both in one ask I'm sorry! Here I'll conclude. I still have much to learn thought. I still grapple with naming the issue at hand I would deeply appreciate men insight here. Have a nice day :3

I actually posted an article written by a femme bi man talking about this topic a while back!

This is very much an issue. The way I interpret the different ways biphobes react to bi men/women is that its related to how patriarchal gender roles operate. All bisexuals are targeted by the idea that they are either "really" straight or "really" gay because of binarism. Women are resource objects, so cishet men's access to them needs to be preserved; therefore, bi women must be REALLY straight. Men, on the other hand, are competitors, and queerness is one of the major ways men are seen as failing that competition; as a result, bi men must be REALLY gay because their attraction to men(/feminine presentation, if they are femme) means they could never successfully compete at manhood. (This is ofc just a general trend; sometimes people, especially queers, will insist a bi woman must be really a lesbian esp if shes butch, and cishets may insist a bi man must be really straight especially if hes masc/butch).

I identify as bisexual and as a femme man, although I'm not sure if I would consider myself attracted to women as a man (multigender sexuality is weird but fun!), but know there very much ARE femme bi men out there who would love to be in a relationship with you. I think a lot of mlw who have a preference for femininity have experienced this, queer or not, because there is so little visibility for GNC men who are attracted to women- and because there are women who are queerphobic about the idea of a woman dating a GNC man.

[drbased]

Hi, I saw your addition on this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/maslows-pyramid-scheme/763959982738833408?source=share

And I was wondering if you had any other input on straight people being bicurious/thinking they could be bisexual? Because I can kind of relate to that. I'm an OSA woman and have been questioning/bicurious for years now but don't seem to be getting anywhere.

I'm interested in kissing women (never have) but I don't usually fantasize about sex with them. I always thought since I am not repulsed by the idea, it must mean something, and radblr likes to say that unless you are repulsed, it counts. I have been vaguely interested in one or two women before, it was never sexual but still felt a bit different from just platonic. I feel like I can't 100% relate to my straight friends who would never even consider kissing a woman but I also can't relate to lesbians and bi women who love vagina. Am I just a curious straight woman who likes women's company and isn't grossed out by female bodies? Is that a normal way to be straight? Or am I bi with a preference for men? I genuinely can't tell anymore.

You and me both, sister. Every since I was a teenager I always considered myself 'probably bi, but not really curious'. You're clearly further along the spectrum than I am though, because I've never found myself being attracted to a woman IRL. The only thing is, if I am attracted to women I'm exclusively attracted to gnc women - not 'butch', but more, say androgynous in both attitude and dress. Bonus points if she actually looks androgynous - but at that point I find myself thinking, well is that just because I like male characteristics then? Problem is I've never seen a woman IRL who looks like what I think I'd be attracted to, so the jury's still out, I suppose.

I must say, I've not heard anyone on radblr say that unless you're repulsed, it counts. In fact, I've actually heard the opposite - espeically from lesbians who defend their right to define sexuality around what you actually desire, not what you can tolerate; lesbian sexuality is about desiring pussy, regardless of whether you're repulsed by or merely indifferent to cock. So, then, under that logic I consider myself functionally straight.

The issue is that as women we have this extra hurdle to overcome in defining our sexuality; there's this fundamental societal belief that women are just inherently attractive, to the point where I've seen drag queens - literal gay men - get upset that they're not attractive enough because they don't look like women; like, shouldn't your entire concept of attractiveness be based around what looks masculine? And this belief system is used to devalue lesbianism and women's bisexuality as legitimate sexualities - of course women are going to be attracted to women, haven't you seen women? Everybody loves boobs! And I'm here constantly wondering if women with our curves and small faces are so 'inherently' attractive or is that just hundreds of years of patriarchal conditioning - or is it because as some radfems point out that women have never had control of reproductive selection, and that's why men are generally uglier? Because no matter how much I want to fight it I do have to admit that I don't actually fancy that many men - just like with women I almost exclusively like androgynous features on men. And I've seen it said a fair amount both in and out of radblr that if you're attracted to androgynous/feminine men then that's a secret sign you're actually a wlw?

Idk girl, it's just a permanent unknown in my head. And I've never seen another women talk about their sexuality like I do. So in answering this ask I suppose I'm also asking if any other straight women have the same experience as I do? Do you, anon, find yourself gravitating to gnc/androgynous/feminine men as I do? Have you accidentally ended up dating exclusively bisexual men? We have to find all the straight women who have these concerns and set up some sort of conference because I just want to kNOW.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Fuck it knd oc pride hcs

Note: written with their present day stuff in mind, so currently caught up with where they are in life BUT I do touch up on some of their development and stuff that they went through in the past if its relevant WOO YEAH BABY

Rose: ohohohoh rubs my hands. Her "end result" identity is simply she/her pronouns and bisexual BUT the journey!! Lots of messing around with her gender identity, shes more feminine presenting in the present day but she did have periods where she was more masc/gnc. Theres literally an arc for her in my head where shes sneaking out dressed as a boy to go hang out with the guys there is no cis explanation for that.. while I do think she only uses she/her I DO think she would get a tiniest bit excited/thrilled/happy if referred to with a different pronoun, even on accident. And that's on *starts break dancing* still having some part of her silenced and needing to be worked through oh yeah baby we're hitting rose with the questioning beam

Sammy: literally the "I am what you perceive me" trope with some characters, responds to all pronouns. She/he/they/it/and other! I tend to default to using them when referring to sammy though but that's just me- some days they present more masculine other days they're more feminine. Big hair chubby queer person my beloved, wish we got to see that more in media outside of bears <\3

Asexual panromantic let's goooo!! Theyve always been outwardly queer but they didnt learn labels and stuff until later on

Kimberly/Kimmy: she/they pronouns, very feminine! I dont have a confirmed sexuality for her but I see her being demiromantic asexual lesbian, love her very silly I need to give her more lore in general

Jamie/J: he/him pronouns, though hes gnc! Sometimes experiments with stuff that is traditionally feminine! Mlm, only attached to men. Large part of his whole deal is being in hella denial for a looooong time. All these characters grew up pre-2000s sooo... lot of internalized homophobia with him though a lot of it was directed at himself, he didnt care all that much if others were queer for the most part (may dive into that at some point maybe, if I ever write more lore)

Davis: cishet/j well.. hes a cis dude and hes pretty comfortable with his current gender identity, he/him and masc presenting! Now sexuality... totally different. Thinks hes only attracted to women but hes bi/under the bi umbrella he just hasnt really accepted it or taken the time to get to know that part of himself

[cadybear420]

39 40 41 42 43 E F G H for Evie and if possible Alan.

Ask game here!

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

For Evie, it's kind of a mixed bag. Obviously if it's something very severe or glaring (like Caleb dating someone as awful as Zoe), she'll call it out. But most of the time, Evie has a hard time judging how severe certain flaws are. "Is this worth bringing up? Would I just be making a big fuss out of nothing if I bring it up? Or am I doing harm and being negligent by not bringing it up?"

Alan is pretty much the same as Evie, but doesn't spend as much time worrying if something is worth bringing up or not.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Evie is very senstive to her own flaws and constantly questioning herself. "Did I handle this right? Did I severely hurt their feelings by saying this particular thing?"

Alan can sometimes struggle to recognize his own flaws. Sometimes he's afraid of spiraling into a self-deprecating mindset.

41. How do they feel about children? 

Evie likes the idea of having kids one day, as long as she doesn't have to carry and give birth to them. She and Aiden have about 4 kids when they marry.

Alan is very unsure about kids. On one hand, he loves the idea of being able to pass down the positive influence his Dad had on him. On the other hand, he's not sure if being a dad is quite for him.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Neither Evie nor Alan have spefic end goals. They have some things they'd like to achieve, but they wouldn't consider them "end goals".

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

Evie: "I'm bi with a preference for men. To any dickholes who think this means I'm 'actually just a straight woman looking for attention' or whatever, let me put it like this: I like both mint ice cream and chocolate ice cream. However, I fucking love mint a lot more and it is my primary ice cream flavor preference. Does this mean I dislike chocolate? The correct answer is no, I still like chocolate, I just prefer mint."

Alan: "I'm heteroromantic, and sexually heteroflexible. I only have romantic feelings for women and I tend to have sexual feelings mainly for women as well. However, I'm down to do it with a guy if he's cool."

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Evie is very heavily based off of me, so by virtue of that, I think we'd get along. Then again, god kows how long it will be before we get sick of ourselves.

I think Alan and I would mostly get along, though at times he'd probably be a bit much for me.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride and excitement for both of them. Creating these characters is just so fun. And it's especially fun to make two completely different characters from the same book's MC, and explore how they compare and contrast to one another and how their in-game storylines/experiences are different from one another.

Evie is especially meaningful to me because she's heavily based off of me. One half "the person I was in high school" and one half "the person I wish I was in high school". It kind of gives me a sense of comfort to create this character who has a lot of the flaws I have and is working on them, and in the process gets to attend this high school that provides a sort of a healing experience for her.

Also, making GNC characters and relationships is just very cathartic for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Evie can be impulsive and say or do stupid shit sometimes, to say the least. Moments like those often contribute to her "did I do this right or did I fuck up badly" anxiety.

Alan does not take any shit from anyone that harms or gets in the way of something important to him. In a general sense, this can be good, but sometimes his perception of morality in the situation can get very muddled. Often, he fails to understand a situation's complexity, and instead behaves under the mindset of "does something that harms me = bad".

This becomes most apparent in Book 2. He'll side with the cheerleaders, even rooting for Hearst at the basketball game, but once he finds out that Isa cut cheerleading entirely because of that stunt, he'll be quick to turn around and blame them for it.

This mindset would be more directly challenged in Book 3, when he's pit against Kieran for a special role in the cheer squad. On one hand, that spot was promised to him, he can't just give it up to some newbie Heart kid, he wants what he earned. On the other hand, Kieran is also a male cheerleader, one that is constantly being taken advantage of; and was originally slated for a similar spot back at Hearst– he's not doing anything to hurt Alan on purpose, and he's the type of guy that Alan would likely be best friends with and find a sense of solidarity with.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Answered here for Evie

For Alan, I think it's how masteful he is at the art of not giving a fuck. He's a guy with a huge ego and very little sense of humbleness or modesty, but it works in his favor here. He almost exclusively likes feminine and feminine-associated things, and he's proud of it. He dresses stylishly, he's fantastic at cheerleading, and he owns it. When he achieves something or he helps others achieve something, he's very openly proud of it.

Part of it is sort of taking after the stereotypical "popular diva cheerleader girl" stereotype, but he soon realizes it's also kind of his way of reminding himself that he isn't lesser for having GNC preferences, no matter how much he may have been/might be harassed for it. He understands there is such a thing as too big of an ego, but he also hates that there tends to be such a stigma on self-love. It's okay to be a bit of a diva and a show-off sometimes. He's fem, he's an achiever, and he's proud of all of it.

[find-your-queery]

Where to start... lived most of my 50 years as a straight female but seemingly from a different planet to most.. not Mars or Venus but somewhere else entirely. Autism strongly in the family but that alough its close that never quite fit me.. then l learned about ADHD (currently starting the diagnosis process, though I'm pretty sure..).

Always been bi-curious (to use an old-fashioned term) and had the odd huge attraction to another woman but have never taken it anywhere. Currently in a long-term straight relationship (with a man, tb clear!) but having major desires to get with a woman. Partner is non amenable, sadly.

Never felt like a woman, always a massive tomboy, but hate sports and violent films, and love shoes, jewelry and shopping...(?) thought my lack of feeling female (was amazed when I got was pregnant - this means I'm actually a human and actually a woman!!) was just my lack of confidence in my looks and ability to do 'female' things. Now I'm not so sure.

Recently, I'm finding my worlds expanding and seriously questioning everything. My two extraordinary, wise offspring are queer (lesbian and non-binary) and on the spectrum. Their generation is amazing. I have learnt so much and been so inspired, but it has left me more than a little confused.

Ive never felt happy on my skin, never quite right. I hated puberty, didnt want any of it. Hate having boobs (except breastfeeding was brilliant). I'm not trans but maybe I'm non-binary? She/her feels fine, feels wierd to change it now, I look female and happy to present feminine sometimes, thought mostly I eschew dresses.. somedays I just feel more comfortable acting as a man. All my childhood idols were men, but maybe that was just growing up in the 80s? I don't want to make a fuss but I feel so massively drawn to the queer community and I just want to understand who I am.

Maybe, ultimately, it doesn't matter. But still, I'd like to know your thoughts..

Unsure whether you want me to analyze for either or both orientation and gender, so I'll go with both!

The terms I can most associate with you in terms of sexuality are Bisexual!

You seem to already know what it means, but for clarification Bisexual people are attracted to two or more genders! Although you said your attraction to women "never went anywhere," your attraction is still very real and very valid! If you still aren't sure however, Bi-curious is still an excellent way to identify, as it means you may be curious about being attracted to more than one gender!

The labels and terms I can most associate with you in terms of gender are Genderfluid, Bigender, and GNC (Gender Non-Conforming)!

Genderfluid people feel different genders at different times! This can fluctuate over a day, week, or sometimes months! Genderfluid people can feel any single gender, mix of genders, or no gender at all at any given time! This label falls under both the Nonbinary and Trans umbrellas.

Bigender is a label that is very related to Genderfluid, in which Bigender people's gender fluctuates, but is a bit more specific in that they typically fluctuate between only two gender identities. This is typically associated with being either male and/or female, but can also be for other identities such as Agender and female, Nonbinary and male, and many other combinations!

GNC (Gender Non-Conforming) is a term for people who present, behave, express themselves, or even have interests in a way that does not fit the gender norm! Examples include a man wearing a skirt, dress, and/or makeup, or a woman wearing a suit or acting in a masculine way!

Other related labels and terms not chosen: transmasc (not chosen due to still having connection to agab [assigned gender at birth]), nonbinary (not chosen due to feeling connections to binary genders)

PLEASE NOTE: Though I did not choose transmasc as one of the main options, you can still be transmasc even with the reasoning you gave for dismissing it! Gender identity, gender presentation, and interests are all different and separate things, and everyone's combinations of such are very different!

- - -

If you disagree with this answer and/or think there is a better label/term that fits the inQueery, that's okay! Kindly let us know so we can learn together!

[s1ll13rg00s3]

I don't disagree with what you said, but I don't think it's helpful to just kinda shrug and say "well this is a general problem". I get that you're trying to be conciliatory and again you're not wrong in general. But I do think it applies to bisexuals in a general way. I don't think it's a coincidence that this started with macroclit being called a useless dick rider for needing an abortion, and now the discussion has shifted about how the actually pressing issue here is that bis need to get over their persecution complex (thnx het woman). Now kronkk is vaguing about how macro is "spineless, toothless, refusing to take radical action and taking the easy way out" and everyone is just clapping because of course the dick riders need to put in their place. It's not spineless, toothless, nor taking the easy way out to get an abortion - that sounds literally like conservative rhetoric about abortion. Macro never even blamed lesbians and then it all got shifted to be about bisexuals supposedly blaming lesbians for everything by ppl like kronkk and that lunawitch person, because they see any attempt at discussion about how bisexuals are treated by everyone as inherently lesbophobic. Their accusation itself created that discussion and derailed away. So once again we never got a discussion about why everyone feels emboldened to treat bi women like that, it just got turned into why bihets are horrible spineless dick riders. Just like it did in all those other examples I gave, and why the bi ppl I gave as examples in my other anon were only harassed more.

I agree with you, like macro talking about her OWN experience growing up in religious homophobia got turned into comparing the way lesbians are treated by religious homophobes to the harassment she was getting on radblr, and that she never claimed she was being "persecuted by lesbians" just that some of the women harassing her were lesbians

Like if you want to talk about this specific situation with macroclit, she was a woman who is/has been visibly gnc and was exclusively dating women for most of her life up until recently, she does actual real life activism - and all of that is out the window because she's dating a man now, I fail to see how that is not misogynistic and frankly homophobic as well... As if when she and everyone in her life assumed she was exclusively capable of same sex attraction because that was all she had expressed at that point, the material reality of her life was affected at all by the fact that years in the future she would find out she was indeed bisexual. But then if you apply class politics to individuals without any nuance then I guess the assumption is just that no bisexual person has ever had a "full" or "real" understanding of homophobia.

I do also agree of course that radblr has a particular issue with bisexual women, I guess just don't think there's some magical quality to bisexuals that makes them a more attractive target I just think they've been identified as an acceptable target for misogyny and homophobia because the copes a lot of people have about bisexuals allow them to express comfortably the same bigoted views and behaviors of like actual conservatives while feeling like they don't lose any points for being progressive - which I guess is the point of my whole little essay on the hippocrisy and inconsistency within "leftist" spaces today

I think that the most important point I can make is that certain behaviors need to be unacceptable - because attempting to justify to people why bisexuals (or who the fuck ever) deserve basic respect is a losing battle with people who don't want to examine their internal biases - it's just not okay to be misogynistic or homophobic or even just to l harass strangers for innocuous private choices

All of that being said, I'll be honest, part of my reluctance to argue with people back and forth about this specific situation is that I think the way people are behaving rn is really fucked up honestly, and if I was in a position similar to macro I think i would want privacy and peace > to be a shining example of radblr's hippocrisy\misogyny\ homophobia\biphobia and I feel similarly about the situations my other friends\mutuals like catboy\inosa\(insert other bisexual users harassed off this site) have experienced because I know the way they've been treated has hurt them (but macros in particular is very fresh/recent) maybe that's just my perspective as someone who highly values privacy

It also it doesn't feel good to have women on here, a good portion of whom DO call themselves feminists and claim to be opposed to homophobia repeat the same words and treat me in the same way as the worst male misogynists/homophobes ive encountered irl. Is it worse than when men do it? No, but I don't think its less bad either tbh, per my pinned post. So at a certain point I do just get my fill with being treated badly and want to reblog biden blast memes without being sexually harassed or whatever

[redheadbigshoes]

i wish more people who support the concept or bi or m-spec lesbians would stop and consider just for a moment WHY lesbians might be so upset about people implying or outright saying that we can like men. these people (and people in general tbh) seem to think we're only oppressed for liking women, when, personally, i've faced way more hostility, aggression, and weaponized "ignorance" over the fact that i do not like men. (before anyone twists my words, i'm NOT saying lesbians have it worse than bi women/nonbinary people, because they also experience a unique axis of oppression that lesbians don't by being attracted to all genders. our experiences overlap, but they are different, and it's okay for both parties to talk about that)

growing up, i was terrified of the concepts of marriage, sex, romance, and love since everyone around me only spoke of my future experiences with these things under the rigid assumption that my partner would be a man. i tried telling them i'd rather be single forever (i had yet to realize i was "allowed" to be gay), and they always insisted that i would grow up and change my mind, which made me even more terrified. they presented partnership with a man as something that was an inevitable, unavoidable part of my future. i'm lucky to have had a (mostly) supportive environment when i finally discovered that i felt this way because i'm a lesbian, and i can happily say i'm no longer afraid of those things since i now know i can have them without a man, but holy shit, do people not get how traumatizing that is? to be a young person only able to concieve of love as a weapon to be wielded against you?

lesbophobia from cishet people is one thing, but when it's coming from my fellow lgbt people, who i come to for love, support, protection, and companionship after being isolated in my daily life as a result of my lesbianism (and being autistic and gnc), it's just ... unspeakably cruel. i don't think most or them fully realize what they're doing - i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and say most of them are just young people that believe they're doing the right thing - but that doesn't excuse this level of violence, especially with how quickly the notion has become popular. they should know better.

also like. not to mention how fast they'll throw trans women and trans lesbians under the bus to dunk on "mono" lesbians but that's another conversation.

A lot of them don’t want to think for a few seconds why we’re so upset about it. They don’t want to recognize and accept our lack of attraction to men because a lot of them are misogynistic, they don’t think there’s people out there who are not attracted to men. It’s not a coincidence that “mspec lesbian” supporters are most likely the same ones saying everyone is bi.

This is what happens with every type of prejudice. People who don’t experience certain thing are less likely to sympathize with people who do face that. Therefore they think we’re exaggerating or that it’s not real because they don’t face it. The saddest thing is that other marginalized people should be able to sympathize with other prejudices because they face oppression.

And lesbians suffer a very unique type of oppression because it’s directly connected to both homophobia and misogyny. Just like you said: we’re not trying to say we have it worse than other sapphics, we’re just trying to make people listen to us and take lesbophobia seriously. And what I say might be controversial but from my experience observing other people it does feel like lesbophobia is taken less seriously than other prejudices related to the LGBTQ+ community. Especially because it’s a very ignored and erased oppression since people immediately box us with gays by calling what we face homophobia when sometimes is a way more specific oppression than that.

It’s frustrating because most of queer lesbophobes are also fighting other kinds of oppression, but they’re actively silencing and promoting lesbophobia. A lot of people might not agree with me but I think they deserve all the hate and oppression they get, very hypocritical wanting to stop [insert phobia] while promoting others.

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

I recently discovered @grandadtwelve 's wacky polycule au and it inspired me to make up a slightly weirder au cus that's what I do best

I'm gonna include twissfle and osgate cus all of them are objectively hot as fuck

Warning this will mention vaping briefly so if you dont like that just be warned

Also be warned this is mostly just gonna be me projecting my depression onto all of these characters (but mostly clara, osgood and kate)

So in this 12 clara and missy are all dating and osgood and kate are secretly dating

In this clara is chronically depressed and vapes to cope

Shes basically the depressed friend who always has dark circles under their eyes and is fucking hilarious

Shes also luciferian cus why not lol

Bill is here too

Bill is a poor college student who's Clara's gay bff

Who am I kidding nobody in this au is straight

I may as well just list them

Clara - bi and she/they gender questioning, possibly genderfluid

12 - he/they agender, pan and demisexual

Missy - she/her pansexual

Kate - she/her bi (leaning more towards women)

Osgood - any pronouns GNC lesbian

When I said nobody was straight I mean it

So in this au missy is less, well, abusive to clara since obviously they love each other

And I think shed empathize a lot with Clara's struggle with depression

I'll expand on Clara's depression a bit more but itll include mentions of sh so I'll put that in another post with a warning

Missy still teases obviously but shell occasionally "check in" on clara in subtle ways

12 is his usual self, completely clueless when it comes to affection and just a general goofball

I decided to add that hes into more heavy metal cus why not lol

River pops into their little polycule every now and then for a quick fuck

Clara, bill and missy may or may not get together to get more stoned than a fucking quarry every weekend

Bill has a little side gig where she may or may not grow and sell weed

Dont mess with 12 and his 2 weed smoking girlfriends

As for osgate, kate canonically has 2 sons, Gordon or Gordy (19) and Harry (they dont actually have a canon name so I'm giving them one) (15)

Given that osgood has been dating kate for about a year she found it much easier to adapt to parenthood with already grown kids, she doesnt know if shed be able to handle young kids lol

Kate and osgood are huge movie buffs and love watching and critiquing movies/tv shows together

Their favorite show is breaking bad cus of course it is lol

Osgood is autistic and one of their hyper fixations is on minecraft but specifically advanced redstone engineering

One of the biggest ways she bonds with the kids was thru gaming

Shes a pretty serious gamer too lol

Shes played skyrim, oblivion, fallout 4 and new Vegas, GTA 5, most of the doom games including the classics, smash bros (which she loves playing with the kids), overwatch, and a shitload more

Being a technician she naturally has a super advanced pc setup which is duelly a gaming setup

She built Harry and Gordy's pcs with them and it spawned some of their favorite memories together

Back to talking twissfle, Missy will occasionally let harry and Gordy take a ride in her tardis as a treat

Clara always makes sure to supervise for obvious reasons

Clara is like the cool aunt that always has a cigarette (or in this case a vape) in her mouth and will let Harry have a sip of her wine when the parents arent looking

That's all I've got for now lol