#and other bi and gnc women in general

[gender-critical-analytical]

cannot believe sophia lillis is only five feet tall, no inches. I think maybe I just have a thing for short women

[5-htagonist]

l@imari has a place in my heart fr

[the-polls]

For my fellow lovers of pushing buttons. I just wanted to have a post to shout out different poll blogs that I can link to and add to. If you want me to add your blog or shout one out, let me know.

EDIT: I've reached the tag limit and realized there is a link limit so I have a carrd I'm using as a poll directory so continue to let me know of poll blogs! I'll add blogs here as links but there's also a link limit, so the carrd will probably be most up-to-date.

I've crossed out the ones that seem to have been deleted/deactivated, but if it's still there and just changed urls let me know.

General Polls ● the-polls (this blog) ● incognitopolls ● apolladay ● anonymous-polling ● anon-polls-for-you ● justcuriouspolls ● oddpolls ● swarm-of-polls-in-a-trench-coat ● thisthat-ortheother ● yesornopolls ● parttimepolls ● reblogforsamplesize ● whatcha-thinkin ● i-reblog-every-poll-i-see ● augmentedpolls ● polls-drugs-etc ● lamp-polls ● pollforthesoul ● poll-boy ● curiositysavesthecat ● anonpolls ● just-a-blog-for-polls ● yayornaypolls ● pollsforpondering ● themostrandompolls ● poll-position ● anonym-polls ● pollsgalore

NSFW (18+) Polls ● spicypolls

Poll Adjacent ● poll-stats ● seeresultssweep

Identity Specific Polls ● aspecpolls - Aspec ● aro-polls - Aromantic ● asexualpolls - Asexual ● gaypolls - Gay/Lesbian ● lesbianpolls - Lesbian ● mspecpolls - MSpec (Bi, Pan, Omni, etc.) ● transgenderpolls - Transgender ● nonbinary-polls - Nonbinary ● gnc-polls - Gender Non-Conforming ● queer-questions-and-polls - Queer ● queer-polls - Queer ● plurality-polls - plurality / systems ● plurality-polls-2 - plurality / systems

Fandom Polls ● pollsnatural - Supernatural (TV) ● tmapolls - The Magnus Archives (Podcast) ● onepiece-polls - One Piece (Anime/Manga) ● anon-scp-polls - SCP ● middleearth-polls - LOTR, The Hobbit, Tolkien ● bts-polls - BTS (Kpop) ● swiftpolls - Taylor Swift (Singer) ● dragonagepolls - Dragon Age (Game) ● sdv-polls - Stardew Valley (Game) ● tally-polls - Tally Hall (Banad) ● loonathepoll - Loona (Kpop) ● dungeonmeshi-polls - Dungeon Meshi ● animalcrossingopinionpoll - Animal Crossing Character Opinions ● nether-have-i-ever - The game "never have i ever" but for Minecraft

"Do you know..." or "Have you seen/played/etc" Polls ● haveyouseenthismovie-poll - Movies ● haveyouseenthisqueerfilm - Queer Films ● haveyouseenthis90smovie - 90s Movies ● haveyouseenthishorrormovie - Horror Movies ● haveyouseenthisromcom - RomComs ● haveyouseenthismusical - Musicals ● doyouknowthischaracter - Characters ● haveyouheardthispodcast - Podcasts ● doyouknowthisanime - Anime ● do-you-know-this-youtuber - YouTubers ● haveyoureadthisbook-poll - Books ● haveyoureadthistransbook - Trans Books ● haveyoureadthispoem-poll - Poems ● haveyouplayedthisgame - Video Games ● haveyouplayedthisirlgame-poll - IRL Games ● doyouknowthistmntau - TMNT AUs ● doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter - Disabled Characters ● areyouthisidentity-polls - Gender/Sexuality ● haveyouplayedthisttrpg - Tabletop Role-playing Games ● doyouknowthisactor - Actors ● doyouknowa - Names ● fictionalfoodpolls - Would you eat [x] fictional food? ● watchlist-poll - Movie Watchlist

Tournaments ● whoishotteranimepolls ● chuunibyou-showdown ● hotvintagepoll ● vgtrackbracket ● mlmshipbracket ● spicymalepolls (18+) ● which-is-the-very-best ● does-it-like-women ● adaptations-polls

Other ● which-item-poll ● rate-a-spam-bot ● daily-oc-polls ● horrorpolls ● hypothetipolls ● trivia-polls-daily

[the-canine-king]

i'm an idiot and didn't save this strawpage ask before deleting it: "are you done with making arcane fanart?"

rambling below but tl;dr, i'm a sensitive loser that doesn't want to deal with anon hate so i'm not making fanart for a while (or anymore depending, idk)

idk man lol. i wanna say yes bc i'm just tired of getting a "kill yourself" message every other day or someone hoping i get killed by a transphobe or get called a rapist or being told i'm disrespecting breast cancer survivors and trans men/ mascs or getting called a woman and will never be a man or getting called a man but because of that be called a fetishist or just generally called a fetishist because i'm bi/ also like men and should leave "pure women" alone or overall getting called a freak over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and again and again and again and again and again and again and

i'm also dealing with a bunch of losers that keep letting me know they're hate stalking my account even if i do block them, they love letting me know they exist THE MOMENT i post any fanart with some trans/ gnc trait/ headcanon lmao. or just in general, one of them would remember i exist and tell me i should kill myself ¯_(ツ)_/¯

i can only "ignore the haters" for so long lol, i ALWAYS appreciate the kind words i get sent but the frequent hateful ones are just so incredibly exhausting to quietly deal with. BOTH on my strawpage and tumblr inboxes, and EVEN IF i don't post fanart for a while.

EVEN BY POSTING THIS, I KNOW FOR A FACT I'M GONNA GET MORE HATE ANONS… i can already list out the ones i feel like i'm gonna get for this one. it sucks getting anxious over posting mundane shit nowadays but whatever.

i'd rather just fade into fandom obscurity and make my fanart even harder to find/ force it to get even less notes, i want it to be under the radar as much as possible to avoid more bullshit coming my way. it's literally getting to the point where i'm considering on mass deleting my fanart and purge followers entirely. … i probably won't commit to doing that but the consideration gets more and more tempting the more hate anons i keep getting.

i might try to just keep posting fanart but outside of twitter maybe? i just know for a fact many terrible people are coming from twitter so i'd rather just stop trying with that site at least. but yeah, I've been super uninterested and too scared to post fanart and would rather take an indefinite break from it, which is why i mentioned it's just best to unfollow if you're only interested in fanart. sorry.

but also i'm just way more into drawing ocs and i'm actually happy that fanart gave me back my drive to draw in general again which is nice lol, it was inevitably gonna get to this point anyways so it's whatever. at least they won't give a shit whenever i draw my own characters being trans/ gnc.

anyways, yeah. tl;dr, i'm a sensitive loser that doesn't want to deal with anon hate so i'm not making fanart for a while (or anymore depending, idk)

[pillarsalt]

as someone who is genuinely truly gender critical (critical of conservative gender and transgenderism) i have never felt so alone in my life. conservatives hate me. liberals hate me. incels hate me. radfems hate me. men hate me. women hate me.

the supreme court of the united fucking kingdom is using talking points and lingo made up in 2010 by teenage girls bending over backwards to defend perverted men. the other side of the argument is brought by conservatives who at best wouldn't mind if we regressed women's rights back to the 1800s and at worst are actively trying to do so.

meanwhile, on a general society level, we have the aforementioned perverted men and their teenage supporters who, regardless of what year they were born, have not progressed past that 2010 mindset. they genuinely believe women is a feeling/aesthetic/opt-in-free-attention-machine. and in the other corner, the only corner with the potential to actually empower and defend women, we have a wave of radfems who can't even pretend to be tolerant of straight, bi, gnc, and/or autistic women for 2 seconds (sad and ironic because i highly suspect most of them are one of if not multiple of these things) who lay the blame of the actions and beliefs of perverted men on said women. because us not killing every man on sight means we're the reason they get away with everything.

i have never felt so alone. i don't think we're ever getting out of this. how do you cope with this?

Anon, I want to tell you, I have felt this way many times and I'm sure I will again. I totally understand the impending doom feeling. It's hard to escape. But I want you to know, you are absolutely not alone, not at all.

I also want you to know that unfortunately, bad news frequently overshadows good news, especially online. The shocking and horrific generate more media interest than the hard fought battles being won by people and groups who are interested in positive change. But positive change is happening, even when its hard to see right away. To quote Martin Luther King Jr.: "First, the line of progress is never straight. For a period a movement may follow a straight line and then it encounters obstacles and the path bends. It is like curving around a mountain when you are approaching a city. Often it feels as though you were moving backwards, and you lose sight of your goal: but in fact you are moving ahead, and soon you will see the city again, closer by."

WRT the tumblr-esque rhetoric influencing national policy: I truly believe we are advancing past what has been a weird ass period where this religious "no debate" thing dominates liberal politics. Liberals across the world, I believe, are realizing it's a losing game, and that we can't let people who deny basic reality dictate policy for everyone else. I really truly get where you're coming from, but as someone who's been paying attention to this since 2015/16ish, it seems to have peaked around 2020ish, and on a steady decline since then.

They're their own worst enemies: at first your average left of centre person thought of trans issues basically as very gender nonconforming gay people who experience extreme distress about their sex (and that's not to say these people don't still exist,) but now with the mercurial rise of trans activism as we know it, more and more average voters are exposed to realities of gender ideology like male rapists in women's prisons, males in women's sports, the medical exploitation of gender nonconforming kids, and so on. Even just anecdotally I have seen TONS more people speaking openly about their dissent, when they would have kept their mouths shut before. Now a widespread conservative backlash is absolutely not what we want, and it's why the liberal governments of the world need to step up and get their shit together right the fuck now. Conservatism is dangerous and we need to fight as hard as we can to stop it in its tracks. But with added and continued pressure from everyone who's working to do so, this WILL happen. We can make it happen.

In respects to what's troubling you about the radical feminism community, I understand where you're coming from there too. But again, it's a problem with the most vitriolic people having the loudest voices despite being in the minority. Radfems do not hate you. There are a rash of individuals who through rad/feminism (especially online) have found a great way to browbeat other women and feel morally superior. Any special interest group is going to have people who try to use it to their advantage for ego stroking and social status purposes. Please try to remember they are just people, like you. They can be, and often are, just plain wrong. You have no obligation to take anybody's word as gospel, even if they get mad at you for it.

I don't take anyone seriously who'd rather infight constantly than find common ground with her fellow woman, even if there's disagreement. Women's liberation is the number one priority when it comes to feminism, and as a woman, you have every right to be here. Don't take any bullshit personally, be confident but curious in your beliefs. And please don't give up, not on the world and not on feminism. You are a worthwhile person, things will look brighter sooner than later. I know this from experience. I hope you hang in there, you can message me any time or send another ask anonymously if you want. It's hard work to push through the doom, but you can do it. Be well! 💜💜💜

[spacestrap]

list of stuff that i like to some degree. partially so i have the list for my own benefit partially because i never post on here

[kink redacted] obviously but for the time being that continues to be my secret. i have Posts in my drafts though. if i ever get less scared.

sexfighting aka two people try to make each other cum and try not to be the first to cum. one of the sexiest things i can imagine but the relatively small amount of content for it tends to be very male gazey even if there's a lot of lesbians

similar idea. anything where you're trying to break someone's concentration by turning them on. yes i like to think about spek trying to work but he keeps getting. Distracted.

PEGGINGGGGGG if there are zero pegging warriors left in the world i am dead. i can't get into anything‏‏‎ ‎m/f‏‏‎ ‎that doesn't involve pegging not because i need all of them to be bi or trans or something i just personally don't get the hype around generic penetration (hashtag vaginismus.) and i can't get into m/f if they're not at least a little gnc. they can even be straight they just have to be a Little gnc with it. i just can't find it in me to care otherwise.

hypno kind of maybe. i have someone i really like listening to but i don't really get horny about it i just think her voice is nice and relaxing. and i don't go into a trance or anything. honestly i think i just like sexy asmr.

some transformation stuff it varies. i don't really like big body part inflation or stuff like that but someone getting turned into a furry can be cool. and i like forcefem but only if it's like "oh nooooo don't turn me into a girl i'd haaaaaate that :(" (ends up not hating it at all.) i don't care about a guy dressed in women's clothing getting embarrassed about it. i just want more women.

gloves because i have to wear them a lot for sensory reasons and i pavloved myself into liking them i think.

robotfucking‏‏‎ ‎monsterfucking‏‏‎ ‎all that but i want to fuck Them i don't want them to fuck Me. i want to top the big scary monster idgaf

praise kink yayyyy tell me i'm going a good job. a little bit of condescension can be okay but i don't want anyone being outright mean to me during sex. you can boss me around but tell me when i do good

melting a cocky person's ego. hi‏‏‎ ‎spek hi‏‏‎ ‎dash‏‏‎ ‎hi other guy. you will be squirming and whimpering by the time we're done okay? <3

[wynn-ing]

knowing their sexualities would be helpful but u dont gotta if itll be spoilery or anything

naah sexuality and gender is rarely part of the plot for me as much as it is just a fact of my character's lives (I ain't writing a romance here, all romance is more or less tangential to the mainplot. I do like romance tho its cute) so I'm super happy to share!! Etti: she won't tell me her gender other than that she's "more or less a woman" and uses she/her. She's bi!

Page: homoromantic bisexual, but if asked he'll just say he's bi for convenience. Cis fella

Raya: pan/poly gnc cis woman

Locke: Nonbinary aroace (likes aspects of gender, sex and romance, just in a sort of detached way.)

Pasha: Trans guy, he doesn't really know his sexuality but I know he's demi and he's never been attracted to a woman before

Loren: Nonbinary lesbian <3 Sometimes they're attracted to people who think they're men at the time but uhhh as the wording of this implies that opinion tends to be incorrect

Briar: How could a being of change be constrained to one form, to one label? If asked she'll say she's bi but that's purely for convenience.

Mal: she's a trans woman who is afab and people can fight her on it <3 she's also poly/bi and changes her labels like. all the time for fun and depending on who she's talking to. Being a little bit hard for others to understand is also part of her identity. sometimes she feels a lil otherkin sometimes she feels a lil therian sometimes she feels a lil sapphic you know? it changes

Leonore: is a cis woman who is not afab and people can fight her on that too. She's been a woman in her mind from day 1 and feels that her experiences match that of a cis woman and so she identifies as such. Regardless of what others might think about her body, this is her experience and the way she sees herself. She's bi with a preference for women

Envy: Genderfluid, their sexuality is also fluid which has been a bit awkward for them in the past when they've been dating guys and suddenly just. not attracted to men. Awks. It comes and goes so they use different terms to fit how they're currently feeling.

Violet: questioning cis woman. She's unsure. She'll get there eventually, when less things want to capture her and steal her voice <3

Kyra: Butch lesbian <3 She has not disclosed this with her coworkers but they do know she's dated women in the past. She's not sure if they know about her involvement with Mal but she sure hopes not

I know there's a few more but I got distracted so if you want to know abt anyone specific I missed, let me know!! haven't done the Voices bc I feel they don't really use labels in this world very much. (in my other stp au however... but i digress). Generally as a blanket people use He for voices and She for perspectives, but that's purely public opinion based off of the stories. If they felt strongly enough about it any of them could use whatever pronouns they want. Generally they don't tend to feel that strongly about it here, but it also depends on their hosts!! they're creatures of belief, after all.

[blood-choke]

I thought butch is a lesbian only term?

hmmm yes and no? this is something that doesn't really have a simple answer. it depends who you ask; people have different opinions about it.

in general, the term butch means a lot of different things in the lgbt community. obviously there's butch lesbians, but it's also a term that's used in ball culture, by drag queens and gay men. it's an adjective, it's a gender, it's an orientation. i assume you're referencing the other anon, and i have no idea what they may mean when they call themselves butch. if we're talking about bisexual women then the truth is that bisexual women can have just as complex experiences with gender and presentation as lesbians and i don't really think it benefits anybody to exclude them from the community.

like i said previously, butch is not just an "aesthetic"; there's more to it than just dressing a certain way. i think it's way more harmful to pretend like other women don't also grapple with their gender identity and their sexuality and their gendered roles in society-- basically, we should celebrate our similarities rather than argue our differences.

a lot of the time people say bisexuals can't be butches because they still "cater to men" which to me is just a gross thing to say. there are plenty of bi people who prefer women, who do not pursue men, who are gender nonconforming; and even if they do prefer men, if they date men, that still doesn't mean they're "catering" to anybody. it's a very... dehumanizing and misogynistic attitude to have when talking about bi women imo (and straight women as well)

the term butch/femme was historically used by all gay women; butch/femme in this context, are roles that came about in the working-class lesbian bar scene in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. there were plenty of bisexual women that went to lesbian bars and filled these roles as well. there's bulldagger, bulldyke, and stud, that came out of Black lesbian communities. there's kiki, which isn't used at all anymore, to describe lesbians that don't identify as either. there are people that will insist that bisexuals use the term "stag" and "doe" which i don't think is fair; most people do not know what these terms mean and there is no "stag community" as far as i'm aware. i'm pretty sure these are just tumblr terms.

what it all comes down to is that when people see a gnc woman in the street, they're not going to rush over and politely ask if she's a lesbian or not. to be blunt, most of the time they're going to call them the same slur, regardless. the world is going to treat them the same, regardless. so for me personally i'd rather offer them a little bit of relief in a community that is familiar and understanding rather than exclude them to face that kind of shit all alone iykwim.

[rxsolvx]

//im bored and thinking about queerness so

Mikey is - Masc Nonbinary, aroace but not opposed to relationships or sex (though thats very timeline depenant). To him a relationship would be somewhat an extension of friendship and mutual devotion. He would prefer men but it's not too strict of a preference

Tora is - Nonbinary. I think I'm gonna add she to his pronoun list too tbh. He is bi, though his mental issues can interact with his view of sex and relationships

Chifuyu is - Cis male, gay.

Inui is - Cis male, gay. Despite being generally GNC he is quite firmly a man.

Mitsuya is - Cis male, bisexual. He has a preference for women but no issue being with a man

Draken is - Cis male, ace, biromantic. While Mikey is sex positive, Draken is more neutral. Growing up how he did has given him a complicated opinion of sex and while he isn't repulsed, he often won't seek it out. (he's not... Fully aware of this. Which does cause issues between him and others, esp Emma)

Kakucho is - Cis male, queer. He wouldn't be interested in labelling himself beyond that.

Sanzu is - all the time all the time. Sanzu is genderfuck and pansexual, aromantic. Similarly to Tora, his sexuality interacts with his mental state - he gets into hypersexual states in his bonten timeline

[cadybear420]

39 40 41 42 43 E F G H for Evie and if possible Alan.

Ask game here!

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

For Evie, it's kind of a mixed bag. Obviously if it's something very severe or glaring (like Caleb dating someone as awful as Zoe), she'll call it out. But most of the time, Evie has a hard time judging how severe certain flaws are. "Is this worth bringing up? Would I just be making a big fuss out of nothing if I bring it up? Or am I doing harm and being negligent by not bringing it up?"

Alan is pretty much the same as Evie, but doesn't spend as much time worrying if something is worth bringing up or not.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Evie is very senstive to her own flaws and constantly questioning herself. "Did I handle this right? Did I severely hurt their feelings by saying this particular thing?"

Alan can sometimes struggle to recognize his own flaws. Sometimes he's afraid of spiraling into a self-deprecating mindset.

41. How do they feel about children? 

Evie likes the idea of having kids one day, as long as she doesn't have to carry and give birth to them. She and Aiden have about 4 kids when they marry.

Alan is very unsure about kids. On one hand, he loves the idea of being able to pass down the positive influence his Dad had on him. On the other hand, he's not sure if being a dad is quite for him.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Neither Evie nor Alan have spefic end goals. They have some things they'd like to achieve, but they wouldn't consider them "end goals".

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

Evie: "I'm bi with a preference for men. To any dickholes who think this means I'm 'actually just a straight woman looking for attention' or whatever, let me put it like this: I like both mint ice cream and chocolate ice cream. However, I fucking love mint a lot more and it is my primary ice cream flavor preference. Does this mean I dislike chocolate? The correct answer is no, I still like chocolate, I just prefer mint."

Alan: "I'm heteroromantic, and sexually heteroflexible. I only have romantic feelings for women and I tend to have sexual feelings mainly for women as well. However, I'm down to do it with a guy if he's cool."

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Evie is very heavily based off of me, so by virtue of that, I think we'd get along. Then again, god kows how long it will be before we get sick of ourselves.

I think Alan and I would mostly get along, though at times he'd probably be a bit much for me.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride and excitement for both of them. Creating these characters is just so fun. And it's especially fun to make two completely different characters from the same book's MC, and explore how they compare and contrast to one another and how their in-game storylines/experiences are different from one another.

Evie is especially meaningful to me because she's heavily based off of me. One half "the person I was in high school" and one half "the person I wish I was in high school". It kind of gives me a sense of comfort to create this character who has a lot of the flaws I have and is working on them, and in the process gets to attend this high school that provides a sort of a healing experience for her.

Also, making GNC characters and relationships is just very cathartic for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Evie can be impulsive and say or do stupid shit sometimes, to say the least. Moments like those often contribute to her "did I do this right or did I fuck up badly" anxiety.

Alan does not take any shit from anyone that harms or gets in the way of something important to him. In a general sense, this can be good, but sometimes his perception of morality in the situation can get very muddled. Often, he fails to understand a situation's complexity, and instead behaves under the mindset of "does something that harms me = bad".

This becomes most apparent in Book 2. He'll side with the cheerleaders, even rooting for Hearst at the basketball game, but once he finds out that Isa cut cheerleading entirely because of that stunt, he'll be quick to turn around and blame them for it.

This mindset would be more directly challenged in Book 3, when he's pit against Kieran for a special role in the cheer squad. On one hand, that spot was promised to him, he can't just give it up to some newbie Heart kid, he wants what he earned. On the other hand, Kieran is also a male cheerleader, one that is constantly being taken advantage of; and was originally slated for a similar spot back at Hearst– he's not doing anything to hurt Alan on purpose, and he's the type of guy that Alan would likely be best friends with and find a sense of solidarity with.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Answered here for Evie

For Alan, I think it's how masteful he is at the art of not giving a fuck. He's a guy with a huge ego and very little sense of humbleness or modesty, but it works in his favor here. He almost exclusively likes feminine and feminine-associated things, and he's proud of it. He dresses stylishly, he's fantastic at cheerleading, and he owns it. When he achieves something or he helps others achieve something, he's very openly proud of it.

Part of it is sort of taking after the stereotypical "popular diva cheerleader girl" stereotype, but he soon realizes it's also kind of his way of reminding himself that he isn't lesser for having GNC preferences, no matter how much he may have been/might be harassed for it. He understands there is such a thing as too big of an ego, but he also hates that there tends to be such a stigma on self-love. It's okay to be a bit of a diva and a show-off sometimes. He's fem, he's an achiever, and he's proud of all of it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Fuck it knd oc pride hcs

Note: written with their present day stuff in mind, so currently caught up with where they are in life BUT I do touch up on some of their development and stuff that they went through in the past if its relevant WOO YEAH BABY

Rose: ohohohoh rubs my hands. Her "end result" identity is simply she/her pronouns and bisexual BUT the journey!! Lots of messing around with her gender identity, shes more feminine presenting in the present day but she did have periods where she was more masc/gnc. Theres literally an arc for her in my head where shes sneaking out dressed as a boy to go hang out with the guys there is no cis explanation for that.. while I do think she only uses she/her I DO think she would get a tiniest bit excited/thrilled/happy if referred to with a different pronoun, even on accident. And that's on *starts break dancing* still having some part of her silenced and needing to be worked through oh yeah baby we're hitting rose with the questioning beam

Sammy: literally the "I am what you perceive me" trope with some characters, responds to all pronouns. She/he/they/it/and other! I tend to default to using them when referring to sammy though but that's just me- some days they present more masculine other days they're more feminine. Big hair chubby queer person my beloved, wish we got to see that more in media outside of bears <\3

Asexual panromantic let's goooo!! Theyve always been outwardly queer but they didnt learn labels and stuff until later on

Kimberly/Kimmy: she/they pronouns, very feminine! I dont have a confirmed sexuality for her but I see her being demiromantic asexual lesbian, love her very silly I need to give her more lore in general

Jamie/J: he/him pronouns, though hes gnc! Sometimes experiments with stuff that is traditionally feminine! Mlm, only attached to men. Large part of his whole deal is being in hella denial for a looooong time. All these characters grew up pre-2000s sooo... lot of internalized homophobia with him though a lot of it was directed at himself, he didnt care all that much if others were queer for the most part (may dive into that at some point maybe, if I ever write more lore)

Davis: cishet/j well.. hes a cis dude and hes pretty comfortable with his current gender identity, he/him and masc presenting! Now sexuality... totally different. Thinks hes only attracted to women but hes bi/under the bi umbrella he just hasnt really accepted it or taken the time to get to know that part of himself

[find-your-queery]

Where to start... lived most of my 50 years as a straight female but seemingly from a different planet to most.. not Mars or Venus but somewhere else entirely. Autism strongly in the family but that alough its close that never quite fit me.. then l learned about ADHD (currently starting the diagnosis process, though I'm pretty sure..).

Always been bi-curious (to use an old-fashioned term) and had the odd huge attraction to another woman but have never taken it anywhere. Currently in a long-term straight relationship (with a man, tb clear!) but having major desires to get with a woman. Partner is non amenable, sadly.

Never felt like a woman, always a massive tomboy, but hate sports and violent films, and love shoes, jewelry and shopping...(?) thought my lack of feeling female (was amazed when I got was pregnant - this means I'm actually a human and actually a woman!!) was just my lack of confidence in my looks and ability to do 'female' things. Now I'm not so sure.

Recently, I'm finding my worlds expanding and seriously questioning everything. My two extraordinary, wise offspring are queer (lesbian and non-binary) and on the spectrum. Their generation is amazing. I have learnt so much and been so inspired, but it has left me more than a little confused.

Ive never felt happy on my skin, never quite right. I hated puberty, didnt want any of it. Hate having boobs (except breastfeeding was brilliant). I'm not trans but maybe I'm non-binary? She/her feels fine, feels wierd to change it now, I look female and happy to present feminine sometimes, thought mostly I eschew dresses.. somedays I just feel more comfortable acting as a man. All my childhood idols were men, but maybe that was just growing up in the 80s? I don't want to make a fuss but I feel so massively drawn to the queer community and I just want to understand who I am.

Maybe, ultimately, it doesn't matter. But still, I'd like to know your thoughts..

Unsure whether you want me to analyze for either or both orientation and gender, so I'll go with both!

The terms I can most associate with you in terms of sexuality are Bisexual!

You seem to already know what it means, but for clarification Bisexual people are attracted to two or more genders! Although you said your attraction to women "never went anywhere," your attraction is still very real and very valid! If you still aren't sure however, Bi-curious is still an excellent way to identify, as it means you may be curious about being attracted to more than one gender!

The labels and terms I can most associate with you in terms of gender are Genderfluid, Bigender, and GNC (Gender Non-Conforming)!

Genderfluid people feel different genders at different times! This can fluctuate over a day, week, or sometimes months! Genderfluid people can feel any single gender, mix of genders, or no gender at all at any given time! This label falls under both the Nonbinary and Trans umbrellas.

Bigender is a label that is very related to Genderfluid, in which Bigender people's gender fluctuates, but is a bit more specific in that they typically fluctuate between only two gender identities. This is typically associated with being either male and/or female, but can also be for other identities such as Agender and female, Nonbinary and male, and many other combinations!

GNC (Gender Non-Conforming) is a term for people who present, behave, express themselves, or even have interests in a way that does not fit the gender norm! Examples include a man wearing a skirt, dress, and/or makeup, or a woman wearing a suit or acting in a masculine way!

Other related labels and terms not chosen: transmasc (not chosen due to still having connection to agab [assigned gender at birth]), nonbinary (not chosen due to feeling connections to binary genders)

PLEASE NOTE: Though I did not choose transmasc as one of the main options, you can still be transmasc even with the reasoning you gave for dismissing it! Gender identity, gender presentation, and interests are all different and separate things, and everyone's combinations of such are very different!

- - -

If you disagree with this answer and/or think there is a better label/term that fits the inQueery, that's okay! Kindly let us know so we can learn together!

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

Yes, it isn't about terminology but about love and commitment. I'm just looking forward to meeting a girlfriend/partner I can love and take care of (bi tomboy here).

I fee l nowadays bi tomboys pretty much have to lose part of their identity and if seen as bi or into men rejected socially (both by the general public (some sub layers of homophobia and social conformism) and by wlw..

I got the homophobic slurs and side eyes for years and yeah it feels lonely.

Thank you for your kind words 💜

I hope you find her <3 I'm so glad to hear that there are other bi tomboys/GNC women out there <3 <3

But I get where you're coming from; it seems like everybody associates bisexual women with whatever looks/activities/kinks men want. I mean, I get repeatedly get told that I must be a self-hating lesbian because people just can't fathom the idea that a bisexual woman would hate piv, shaving, having long hair, dressing in feminine clothes, etc.

[mithliya]

Its so weird... are we back at misogynistic state of gnc women want to be men? That's the kind of stuff that brings gnc women wanting to be trans men because women can't seem to be allowed to exist if they the slightest bit non feminine. Honestly being gnc most of times is a non action. Feminity is the deviation from the neutral, having to modify your natural body in uncomfortable ways is kind of the goal of gender role... which feminity is. It's even more damaging when they attack butches specifically among gnc women because of the lesbophobia, and wanting their homophobic headcannons approved, as they think lesbians want to be men and butches are the incarnations of that.

That said, other than the anons that must face the wall for the hate on butches and general lesbophobia, I wanted to say it does make me a bit sad how everyone in my friend group of bi or les women is attracted to feminine women.. I'm a gnc bi women (so much that I've been mistaken for a man.. a lot) attracted to other gnc women but I feel somehow less woman attracted than them, since I don't like feminine women and most women are feminine. They make me feel like a lot, as if I like gnc women because I'm attracted to masculinity and so men, and I actually want a man and not a woman (I'm a febfem). Why is liking feminine women so common?

it’s bc thats what is shoved down our throats to begin with. but honestly most lesbians i’ve known are more into butches than feminine women. these ppl are genuinely so dumb too bc if they think not being feminine = being more male then surely they’d be cool with dating an actual male whos feminine right? since thats somehow what makes a woman 🙄 and they’re practically calling lesbianism a social construct while they’re at it bc femininity doesn’t look the same everywhere in the world and feminine standards changed over time + femininity is only related to women bc those are the gender roles (a social construct) forced on us.. in reality lesbianism has nothing to do with those nonsensical social constructs but they’re too stupid to understand this

[girlonthemoon81]

What’s your opinion on queer women being upset that certain gnc (-ish) tiktokers or celebrities are straight? sophie thatcher for instance. they insist she must be bi. that’s the first that came to mind but its so common on tiktok

I have no clue who that is, but I just looked her up, and she physically looks like she fits into the stereotypical gender caste role of a woman (people are so weird with this, I have noticed in different racial groups; queer white women see another white woman with a mullet and equate her to being queer). This conversation is just viewers projecting their fantasies on women who are just minding their business and existing. A lot of people deadass can't fathom that a woman dressing comfortably or not obsessing over men isn’t inherently queer or GNC. What I believe is truly happening is the collapse of real-life queer community, which then translates into parasocial fantasy (basically identity reactionary politics). A lot of people view women (people in general) in binaries and place them in restrictive boxes based on their limited views of oppressive gender dynamics. (Queer) Women who don't play into the social aspects of what it means to be a woman (in this case, liking other women) are often very much masculinized and treated as proxy men. This is most likely the case with this discourse as well; they are most likely upset that she can no longer fit into their odd queer gender roles. These topics only arise because people live vicariously through celebrities and don't know how to be normal about them.

[redheadbigshoes]

I totally see what you mean and I agree! I think it’s neat that people are trying to give a new meaning to the word « Queer ». And yes, people need to be more careful with the way they use it!

But I would honestly embrace it more if it was acknowledged as either a small subset of the LGBT community or a subculture that originated in it but is slowly detaching itself from LGBT issues while still keeping a connection to them because of the whole non-conformity-to gender-norms thing? To me, it’s like Punk being born from a need to rebel against capitalism or Goth being born from music. Like, Punk people are rebels but not all rebels are Punk and Goth is a music-based subculture but music in general isn’t Goth and there’s many different and unique genres, y’know what I mean? I like the concept of Queer as that and I think it’d be fun to call myself that for being a part of a community (that includes LGBT AND cishet people) that defies gender norms through fashion, by dressing « weird » and creating new and unique gender/sexuality labels (which is why I honestly think xenogenders and micro-labels can be fun and are not inherently harmful but are also distinct from LGBT stuff because cishet people can have complex relationships with gender too) ! And when I think about it this way, it bothers me less when I think of cishet people calling themselves « Queer » because they’re gender non-conforming or people wanting to include them in the community. In fact, I think I want this to be a thing! Anyone can call themselves queer if they feel like it resonates with them, wether they’re LGBT or cishet, just like anyone can be Goth or Punk if they feel like their values, music tastes or fashion is in alignment with these subcultures! But it’s important to acknowledge that since everybody can be a part of the Queer subculture, just like in every other subculture, there’s people who have more power and privilege over others!

A gay man and a cishet man can both be Goth, wear eyeliner, dark makeup, lipstick, paint their nails black and wear fishnets, but the cishet man can still be homophobic towards the gay man. It reminds me of that one cis hetero guy (I can’t remember his name) who was notorious for being GNC, wearing fancy skirts, colorful dresses and heels to go to work and who said in a very shady manner that he didn’t want to be associated with gay men and I’m not sure but I think he even used a slur. Same for the rapper Candy Ken, people thought he was gay because he wears a lot of pink and traditionally « feminine » clothing, with a lot of cute and « kawaii » accessories and he even profited off of people thinking he was gay or bi, but it turns out he’s a homophobic and transphobic pile of dirt who made a song using a slur just to say he wasn’t gay and he’s also a trumpist. Which is also why I don’t like the idea of a « gay » or « queer » aesthetic either. Because it’s simply not a thing.

I also feel like that word tends to be used to erase Lesbians and Gay Men in conversations that are about us. People say « queer women » or « queer men » when they’re talking about issues that are specific to either community. I feel like it can also be anti-trans sometimes because it’s too vague and trans people (wether they’re LGB or not) have their own issues that cis LGB people don’t face. It’s important not to group us all together to talk about the issues that we face, sometimes.

One last thing : I’d love it if bisexual and pansexual people used the terms « Sapphic » and « Achillean » more often, since they’re inclusive of all same-sex/gender-attracted people! It would be beneficial, especially for those who lean way more towards people of the same sex/gender! I’d love it if they used these words to acknowledge and celebrate their same-gender-attraction with us while also acknowledging that while our communities respective communities have a lot of similarities, they’re fundamentally distinct, so we should encourage them to use these terms more often!

I see what you mean and I think I agree! I understand both people who want only lgbt people using the term queer but it’s honestly a pretty fair point what you brought up, so people stop associating queer (as in weird) with being lgbt, and that other people can also be queer. Maybe just associating with gnc instead of necessarily with LGBT people. Besides, not everyone who’s gnc is lgbt, right?

I honestly hope someone someday can come up with an umbrella term (for being lgbt) that has never been used to mean something negative like queer. I’ve seen people also use “fruity” (especially when they suspect someone isn’t straight) but it seems this word has also been used negatively so idk…

Also seeing what you said it makes me think if gnc allo cishet people also using “queer” wouldn’t be better in a way to us? Like an ally thing you know? Trying to take the original connotation of the word into something positive (or simply neutral) and that anyone can be queer. Idk, I say these things but I feel like an outsider speaking about it because the term isn’t connected with my reality and the history of lgbt where I am from.

Yeah I’ve seen it being used to erase issues regarding gays and lesbians but honestly even if the word didn’t exist people would still find a way to erase us somehow. I don’t interact much with the gay community (and also the mlm community in general) so idk if “achillean” is as used as “sapphic”, but something that happens a lot is people erasing lesbians by calling lesbians and lesbian relationships sapphic.

And yeah! I truly wished more bisexuals used those umbrella terms! But in my experience those terms are way more used in english spaces… so can you imagine? If you already wish they used umbrella terms (instead of gay and lesbian) more, this is just starting to become a discussion here where I live.

Using more achillean and sapphic (when it’s actually needed) would be more beneficial for both the bisexual community as well as for the gay and lesbian community.