#and open cliff hangers
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demonslayedher ยท 1 year ago
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I can't wait to see what Ufotable does with this panel:
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estinesstories ยท 1 year ago
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๐“’๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ด ๐“˜๐“ฝ, ๐“Ÿ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ. ๐™‹๐™–๐™ง๐™ฉ 1-2
๐™ƒ๐™–๐™ฏ๐™—๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ƒ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ก ๐™ญ ๐™!๐™‹๐™ž๐™ข๐™ฅ!๐™๐™š๐™–๐™™๐™š๐™ง
๐™๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™ฉ ๐™จ๐™š๐™š๐™ข๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ช๐™œ๐™œ๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™‘๐™–๐™ก, ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™„ ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข๐™ž๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™›๐™š๐™š๐™ก ๐™œ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ช๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™œ๐™ช๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™™ ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™๐™ž๐™ข ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฉโ€™๐™จ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ž๐™™๐™š ๐Ÿ’—
๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™š๐™จ: ๐™๐™š๐™–๐™™๐™š๐™ง ๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ข๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™›๐™–๐™ข๐™ค๐™ช๐™จ ๐™ฅ๐™ž๐™ข๐™ฅ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™ž๐™ง๐™š๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™๐™š๐™ก๐™ก, ๐™จ๐™๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ฎ, ๐™จ๐™๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™– ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ง/๐™๐™š๐™ก๐™ก๐™—๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฃ ๐™ข๐™ž๐™ญ, ๐™จ๐™๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™– ๐™—๐™ž๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™š๐™ง ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™‘๐™–๐™ก๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ค.
๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ข๐™ข๐™–๐™ง๐™ฎ: ๐™‘๐™–๐™ก๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™ฆ๐™ช๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™– ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ก๐™ก๐™–๐™— ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ก๐™™ ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™—๐™ž๐™œ ๐™—๐™ช๐™˜๐™ ๐™จ, ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ ๐™š, ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™œ๐™ž๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™™๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™๐™ž๐™ข. ๐™๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™š, ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™ก๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ ๐™š๐™ญ๐™–๐™˜๐™ฉ๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™๐™šโ€™๐™จ ๐™—๐™š๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™™๐™ค๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ, ๐™š๐™ซ๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฌ๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ.
๐™’๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™จ: ๐™‘๐™ช๐™ก๐™œ๐™–๐™ง ๐™‡๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™ช๐™–๐™œ๐™š, ๐™‘๐™ž๐™ค๐™ก๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š, ๐˜ผ๐™—๐™ช๐™จ๐™š, ๐™Ž๐™š๐™ญ๐™ช๐™–๐™ก ๐™๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ž๐™š๐™จ, ๐™ˆ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™โ€”๐™ฅ๐™š.
(๐™ƒ๐˜ผ๐™•๐˜ฝ๐™„๐™‰ ๐™ƒ๐™Š๐™๐™€๐™‡ ๐˜ฝ๐™€๐™‡๐™Š๐™‰๐™‚๐™Ž ๐™๐™Š ๐™‘๐™„๐™‘๐™•๐™”๐™‹๐™Š๐™‹! ๐˜พ๐™๐™€๐˜ฟ๐™„๐™๐™Ž ๐™๐™Š ๐˜ฟ๐™„๐™‘๐™„๐˜ฟ๐™€๐™๐™Ž ๐™‚๐™Š ๐™๐™Š @๐™˜๐™–๐™›๐™š๐™ ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™จ๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™š! ๐™‚๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ž๐™™๐™š๐™– ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ž๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ, ๐™—๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™„ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ฃ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™จ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ข๐™š ๐™„ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฎ ๐Ÿ’—)
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You tapped your foot impatiently as you waited for the demon at the front desk. It had been thirty minutes, thirty minutes since you were supposed to meet Valentino for direction issues. You growled to yourself as both your arms and legs were crossed, your ermine coat sagging on your shoulders and showing your gold chains and velvet dress. Your star glasses rested softly the bridge of your nose as you looked around the room. Pulling out a cigarette, you lit it and watched as the demon at the front desk tapped away at her computer. Finally, the door in front of you that led to the hallway to the studio opened, revealing Val in all his glory. He smiled evilly at you through his glasses while you glared at him. He took a drag of his own cigarette as he watched yours hang from your mouth.
โ€œY/n! Good to see you again~.โ€ He slurred your way, watching as you stood up and strutted over to him with narrowed, pink eyes.
โ€œYour lucky I didnโ€™t leave, ya fuckinโ€™ lump.โ€ You growled at him as you walked past.
Youโ€™ve never liked Valentino. You were aware he abused his cast members and employees, so you tried your best to stay away from him. You didnโ€™t need him anyways, you were the biggest pimp/porn director in hell! It helped a lot that you were half-hellborn, so you could travel to all of the rings and make videos for everyone. You were also friends with Asmodeus, who gave you plenty of tips and tricks. He also taught you that list should be enjoyed and never forced, and that itโ€™s an art. Which was specifically why you and him alike hated who Val was and what he did. He was just lucky Ozzie couldnโ€™t travel to the Pride ring, or else Val wouldnโ€™t have a career anymore, let alone a life. The only reason you were teaming with him for this was because you his movie meant really good money.
Val glared at you as you walked in, but held his tongue for the money. As you entered the studio, you looked around at the actors and crew members. All of them looked ratherโ€ฆ on edge. You furrowed your brows, but ignored it.
โ€œSo, whereโ€™s the star?โ€ You huffed as you looked around the room, multiple large, buff sinners as well as tiny petite, skinny ones as well. Val seemed to be searching as well for a moment before growling and turning to you with a very forced smile.
โ€œOne moment.โ€ He seethed before stomping off to a door on the other side of the room. You quickly glared at him and stopped his movement. Her stopped dead in his tracks and cold sweated as he heard your heels walk up behind him.
โ€œIโ€™m gonna get โ€˜em yโ€™ abusive prick.โ€ You whispered to him, making sure no one else could hear as they worked. โ€œGo back tโ€™ yer fucking chair.โ€
You heard him scurry off as you softly knocked on the door that read Angel Dust at the top, golden plate. Moments late, a hesitant โ€œcome in,โ€ came from inside. You gently open the door, having to duck your head as to not hit it as well as your horns on the top of the frame. You smiled at the sinner in front of you, a white, demon, spider boy in a red velvet robe. He looked at you with wide eyes.
โ€œHey, darlinโ€™,โ€ you cooed as you strutted up to him, subconsciously swaying your hips. You took note of his funny expression. โ€œAre you my star?โ€
โ€œWho are you?โ€ He inquired, turning in his chair to actually look at you.
โ€œIโ€™m yโ€™ new co-director, doll!โ€ You cheered. โ€œWhenever yer ready, come on out. Weโ€™ll wait for you.โ€
Angel looked utterly confused as you twiddled your fingers his way as if to say goodbye before walking out of the room and back over to Valentino who sat impatiently in his chair. You sat in the one next to it leaned back.
โ€œIf I ever find out you hurt another one oโ€™ yer workers, girls or boys, I will rip your limp dick off of your bald balls and chop it in half, and then Iโ€™ll shove one half up your ass and see it shut. The other half will go in your throat, and then Iโ€™ll see that up too.โ€ You threatened him in a low voice, not looking at him in the eyes. You just heard his breath hitch for a moment before Angelโ€™s door opened, revealing him in nothing but black leather boots. You snatched the script from the table beside you and looked over the first scene. You turned to Valentino with a snarl.
โ€œAre you kidding me? The main subject is gonna be some random robbery rape? No oneโ€™s gonna like that shit.โ€ You whispered at him. He huffed at you with crossed arms.
โ€œFine then. You direct it if youโ€™re so full of it.โ€ He seethed. You scoffed at him but stood and walked over to Angel and the group of large sinners.
โ€œWeโ€™re changinโ€™ the script up a bit, fellas.โ€ You took a huffed of smoke and blew it down and away from their faces, something that made them raise a brow.
โ€œWho the fuck are you, bitch?โ€ One of the bigger demons rasped out. You narrowed your eyes at him.
โ€œIโ€™m Y/n, owner of Star Streaks. And your new director, since your old one,โ€ you growled out, glancing back at Val, who was glued to his phone. โ€œIs a bit busy at the moment.โ€
Their eyes widened at your names, and they all immediately shut up. Your eyes finally landed to Angel with a sweet smile as you looked down at him. โ€œWe took out the rape-y-aspect of it, darlinโ€™, donโ€™t worry about it.โ€
Angelโ€™s eyes seemed to soften slightly till you finally looked back to the others. โ€œAlright, hereโ€™s the new script,โ€ you snapped your fingers, making each of their hands hold a packet of papers. โ€œIโ€™ll give you an hour to memorize it. Now, Iโ€™m gonna order everyone some bloodbaths from Frazzolaโ€™s!โ€
Before they could say anything, you walked off and pulled your phone out, failing the bakery. โ€œAye, Baldi,โ€ you turned to Valentino, who looked like he was having the worst day ever. He gave you a half-assed glance. โ€œHow many people are workinโ€™ on this right now? Cast and everything.
โ€œUh, like, I donโ€™t know, forty?โ€ He sighed with a rose brow. You smiled at him and walked off, listening to the cheerful woman answer the call.
You watched carefully as the sex scene finally took place. Suddenly, your phone vibrated on your lap. You picked it up and looked at the name, your assistantโ€™s popping up on the screen. You showed Valentino and watched him silently nod. You exited the room quietly and stood outside to pick up the call. A few seconds later, a blonde woman you knew as the princess of hell, Charlie Morningstar, walked up to the door to the studio. Your eyes widened.
โ€œExcuse me for a moment, Honey.โ€ You whispered to her, looking to Charlie again. โ€œPrincess Charlie! What a lovely surprise.โ€
Charlie seemed startled by your voice before widening her eyes at you. โ€œY/n Star? Woah, I didnโ€™t know angel works for you too!โ€
You chuckled at her and smiled sweetly at her excitement. โ€œOh no, honey. Iโ€™m just his co-director. Speaking of, make sure yer quiet when you go in, their recordinโ€™.โ€
She nodded at you silently before entering the room. You then unmuted yourself and apologized to Honey for having to hold on her.
As you were talking with Honey about statistics, which quickly just turned into how excited she was that she was pregnant with her dear wifeโ€™s baby, it was a few minutes after Charlie went into the room, and you heard crackling and screams coming from the room. You also noticed an orange hue illuminated under the door. Soon, smoke poured out of the door, and the screaming stopped. Your brows furrowed.
โ€œHoly shit, Iโ€™m so sorry darlinโ€™ Iโ€™ll talk to you tomorrow. I think thereโ€™s a fire in the studio.โ€ You hurried out and hung up before whipping open the door. Behind it, stood charred equipment that had been knocked over, as well as multiple workers and actors sprawled all over the room, terrified expressions on their faces. It didnโ€™t help that you looked furious. You searched the room and landed your eyes on Charlie, who looked more scared than anyone there. You frowned and looked at her worriedly. โ€œWhat the fuck happened in here? Are you okay?โ€ You put a hand on her shoulder, but she didnโ€™t speak. You turned to the rest of the sinners and demons in there room. โ€œIs everyone okay?โ€
You got multiple nods and โ€œyeahโ€โ€™s from everyone, making you sigh in relief. Suddenly, you realized you couldnโ€™t find the two most important people of the movie in the room, Angel Dust and Valentino. You seethed, angrily storming to Angelโ€™s room and slamming open the door so hard it causes the handle to get stuck in the wall. Valentino whips his head up to look at you, and all color leaves his expression as you slowly looked down to Angel Dust, who was crumbled up on the floor in pain, and held a black bruise on his eye. You were absolutely fuming. Angel looks at you with a painful expression, tears just barely brimming his eyes. You looked back up to Valentino. You stepped over Angel and towards Val.
โ€œAngel, go get Charlie and leave. Tell โ€˜er you ainโ€™t cominโ€™ back โ€˜ere. And remember not to be mad at her, be mad at this little cunt sucker.โ€ You growled, never taking your wild eyes off of the abuser. He said nothing, and only left. You ripped the door out of the wall and slammed it shut. โ€œAre you FUCKINโ€™ KIDDING ME!?โ€
โ€œW-wait, Y/n! Please, it was an accident-โ€œ He stuttered, backing up as you stepped closer. You growled as he finally fell back onto the couch in his room.
โ€œFuckinโ€™ accident my ASS, you SHIT DICK BITCH!โ€ You screamed in his face before slapping him hard across the face. The hit caused him to fall to the side, but you caught him by the throat before he could go very far and slammed him back into the wall behind the couch. โ€œWhatโ€™d I tell you!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU!? I TOLD YOU IF I CAUGHT YOU DOINโ€™ THAT FUCKINโ€™ SHIT I WAS GONNA FUCK YOU UP, RIGHT!? IS THAT WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT ME TO DO TO YOU!?โ€
You slammed a flat palm onto Valโ€™s crotch, causing him to let out a mangled mix between a pleasured moan and a pained grunt. You narrowed your eyes at him in disgust as he looked at you with wide, lustful eyes. Your grip on his neck tightened, causing his top hands to grasp your forearm weakly, his bottom hands spreading flatly onto the back of the couch to hold himself up.
โ€œYou, are fuckinโ€™ disgustinโ€™. Youโ€™re the sluttiest, bitchiest, most insecure, insufferable piece of pimp trash I have ever had the torment of meeting. Youโ€™re lucky that I have a lick of damn sense, or Iโ€™d rip that hard little mealworm you call a cock into pieces. I know that you own Angelโ€™s soul. Give me that contract or Iโ€™ll still consider your damn punishment.โ€ And with that, you let go of him. He panted and quickly snapped his fingers, the golden contract appearing before your eyes. You snatched it and glared at him before storming out of the room. You turned to the sinners who were still left in the room, an apologetic look crossing your features. โ€œI am so sorry tโ€™ all of ya, yโ€™all can go take the rest of the week off, and Iโ€™ll make sure to give you all your paychecks by Tuesday.โ€
Soon, everyone left, and you stepped out of the room left with a closed eye sigh. Your index and thumb were rested on the bridge of your nose as well as your hand on your hip as you felt a headache coming along.
โ€œUh, Miss Star?โ€ You were startled at the name, whipping your head to the side to find Charlie and Angel seeming to wait for you outside the room. They stepped up to you when you softened your gaze. Charlie smiled sadly at you, while Angel just kinda looked sad.
โ€œOh, what is it sweet heart?โ€ You asked tiredly, leaning down a bit to talk to them both. Charlie looked over to Angel and nudged him towards you encouragingly. He sighed.
โ€œThank you. Thank you so much fer helpinโ€™ us,โ€ his voice cracked, and he sounded like he was about to cry. Your frowned at him. โ€œFer helpinโ€™ me.โ€
You smiled gently at him and looked in between the two. โ€œCan I give yโ€™all a hug?โ€
Charlie looked ecstatic, while Angel rose a brow, but you pulled them both in for the most genuine, comforting hug either of them had ever felt, like that of a mother. They both relaxed into your embrace for a moment before you suddenly remembered. โ€œOh! Angel, I forgot.โ€
The then snapped, the contract the sinner had signed appearing in front of all of them. Angelโ€™s eyes widened, tears brimming them yet again.
โ€œHoly fuck,โ€ he muttered and grabbed the paper, before you set it into cold flames, causing him to jump.
โ€œYouโ€™re free now Angel, no more abuse, and no more pornos unless thatโ€™s what yโ€™ want.โ€ You spoke softly, placing a hand on his shoulder with a smile as he turned to look at you. Suddenly, he rushed to take you in a tight hug, leaving you surprised. But your gaze soon softened at him.
โ€œThank youโ€ฆโ€ he whispered, and you patted his back.
โ€œCourse, honey! Now, if you did wanna keep working, do not work for that man. If you want, Iโ€™ve got an open spot for actor. No contracts needed, tons of friendly demons, loads of breaks, and you can totally quit whenever. But I do understand if you donโ€™t wanna keep the business. Just make sure you call me if you want the gig!โ€ You gleamed at him, giving him your card as you started to walk down the hall to the elevator. โ€œOr, you can just call me! Iโ€™ll be happy to talk whenever! Love you, kids!โ€
And with that, you left, strutting iconically down the hall and leaving the two staring at you in shock.
โ€œOh, sheโ€™s definitely my new idol.โ€ Angel mumbled.
โ€œUh huh.โ€ Charlie answered.
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๐™„ ๐™‡๐™Š๐™‘๐™€๐˜ฟ ๐™๐™ƒ๐™„๐™Ž ๐™Š๐™‰๐™€!! ๐™ƒ๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™™๐™ž๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ค! ๐™ˆ๐™–๐™ ๐™š ๐™จ๐™ช๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ง๐™š๐™ฆ๐™ช๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ง๐™š ๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™จ! ๐™‡๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™œ๐™ช๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿซถ
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lightweaver-with-cats ยท 1 year ago
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Okayโ€ฆis everyone ready for tomorrow? Less than 24 hours until S2 EP8! I canโ€™t believe the finale is this close! My prediction:
Ed sees the Republic of Pirates blow up, found his leathers, and then found the bottled letters that Stede sent to him. Reads it. Cries. Go saves Stede. Kiss on the beach while Stede is fighting. They all fight for everyoneโ€™s freedom, and they all escaped. Zhang offered safety in China, but surprisingly they all refused. They belonged to the sea! I think Ed will realize that even though things are going fast, and there has been lots of mania and depression going on, but in the end he still loves Stede. And thatโ€™s the part of himself that he knows. He doesnโ€™t want Piracy, but Stede does. Which results in him being the house wife and Stede go looting and fighting to find his own freedom. Or they do open an Inn. A pirate Inn? Honestly the cruise idea I saw somewhere is brilliant. They are gonna love each other and be in each otherโ€™s arms. The cliff hanger of the season will be the English plotting another destruction of Blackbeard.
Part of me is scared that like history, Ed will be killed by the English. Like Ed in the end surrendered for everyone elseโ€™s safety. And S3 will be about saving Ed. But I donโ€™t want this to be true! Ah!
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blackcoldcrackedheart ยท 2 years ago
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Somethings gonna happen with them during the earthquake ep, isn't it?
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wickedzeevyln ยท 4 months ago
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Cliff Hanger
Drawing parallelsfrom Heisenbergโ€™suncertainty principle,Iโ€™m left wanderingon a malevolent planecursed with a paradox;I felt loved; in the same wayI felt unlovedby one personwho wears too many faceswith a glint of dark. Even time works differently here,the calendar marks daysin absence and presence,in love and in despair.But time isnโ€™t linearin matters of the heartโ€”it spirals, doublesโ€ฆ
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kirlicues ยท 2 months ago
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Maxis Lost & Found and Default Replacement List | Resources: Sims 2 | Improving the Look of the Game
Here is a resource list of the Default Replacements I use to improve the look of my game, as well as "Maxis Lost & Found items" to add a little more variety.
I play a mostly CC-free game but I've also included a list of the tiny amount of "Maxis match" CC that I use, so if you download my lots and you have these things installed the houses should look like they do in the previews.
Can you believe the Sims 2 is over 20 years old!? It will look like it's hardly aged a day after you put these defaults in. ๐Ÿคญ I also recommend Reshade for a truly up-to-date experience.
** This post might get updated from time to time. ๐Ÿ’— **
Build Mode Defaults:
Bay Tree texture default by @tvickiesims
Greener Gardens bush defaults by @peppermint-ginger
Greener Gardens Part 2 by @peppermint-ginger
Phlox by @tvickiesims
Plant Texture Defaults from this pack by @pforestsims
Default Garden Plot by @fwaysims
Less Square Waterlilies by @lvstndhrt
Brighter leaves, less square scattered leaves by @shastakiss and TheNinthWave Sims
White Roof Trim Defaults by Phaenoh at ModtheSims
Wall top texture defaults by Maranatah at ModtheSims
Window Fixes by Honeywell at ModtheSims
Mesh replacements for "Border of Helier" fences and the "Near the Floor" half wall by @crispsandkerosene
Buy Mode Defaults:
Custom Computer Screens Default Replacement by @eddysims
Custom Computer Screen - Term paper default add-on
Smaller Cash Register by @pforestsims
Better BBQ by @pforestsims
Useable TSS Coat Hangers (Outerwear, requires Seasons) by Richi3frog at ModtheSims
Keister Kompanion by @pforestsims
White Euro Stairs and Rail OFB (no more aqua line!), open underneath by Rosie. See a picture of it in use here.
Holy Smoke stairs clear glass (as opposed to blue) by @tvickiesims
Upwardly Mobile, Sweeping Success, Stair to Remember Fixes by @simblrnova
Black and White Bare Bath by @tvickiesims
Loft Shower clear glass (as opposed to blue) by @honeywellsdownloads
Clear glass on most objects by Corax at ModtheSims
Clear glass for windows and doors by Slig
Clothing Racks by @withlovefromsimtown
Mission Redux by Leefish
Teak Double Bed by HugeLunatic
Neighborhood Defaults:
Terrain Defaults - @curiousb
No more Blurriness - Beach, Cliff, and Snow defaults - Voeille
Criquettes Linden Trees as Default Replacements
Neighborhood Tree Default Replacements (specifically Ginko,
Redbud, and Walnut) by Honeywell at ModtheSims
Beautified Birch Trees by SixFootSims
CS Seasonal Pines as BG Pine Default by @lowedeus
Snow enabled Seasonal Pines by @lowedeus
Maxis BG Clouds made Global by @lazyduchess and @lowedeus
Effects Defaults:
Prettier Plumbobs by Ambular
Better Thought/Conversation Bubbles by @eddysims
Prettier Bubble Bath by @pforestsims
Sink and Basin Water Revised by @pforestsims
Fountain Water (clear and foamy) by @pforestsims
Clean Skill Meters Default by @pforestsims
Clean OFB Buy Bar Default by @pforestsims
Eye-friendly Countertops by @pforestsims
No Sheen On Ivy by @tvickiesims
Maxis Match Custom Content I use:
Maxis Match Wall Cabinets by CTNutmegger at ModtheSims
Creeping Ivy 3t2 Conversion by MustLuvCatz at ModtheSims
3t2 Functional Washer/dryer by MustLuvCatz at ModtheSims
LG Dryer & Washer Machine by Fresh-Prince at ModtheSims
Maxis Match Chimney Recolors by Kimsie at ModtheSims
I also use some skyboxes and skylines to add interest to preview pictures but those are not included in any of the lot files I offer.
"Maxis Lost & Found" objects converted into usable items by various modders:
Floral Modern Sofa recolor
The Stainless Barbecue - Grey Recolor
Five Studio Lamps
Numica 2x2 card table
Dielectric Electrobreeze Windmill
Broken Snow Globe
18th Century Portrait
Will Wright painting and grouped photos from CAS
"Vacation" recolor for Maxis painting
Ball Obelisk and Monolith Decorative Topiaries
Seven new trees
Modern Print
Souvenir Cabinet
International Sectional Booth
Cricket Bat
Floral Centerpiece
Race Car Bedroom
Lit Clothing Shop Sign
Ikea Pictures
Stockholm Bowl
BASKIS Ceiling Light
Ikea Lights ORGEL, ORGEL VRETEN, DUNO, LYRA
SKIMRA Lamp
Billy Wall Shelf
BENNO Coffee Table (Ikea Stuff)
Washboard (BV)
Plumbob Arch
Loft CAS Window, 2-story Timber column
Loft CAS Window - Fixed
Pinegultcher and Longhorn Balustrade Fences
Nouvelle Fences - "Brass" and "White" recolors
Art Nouveau gate - "White" recolor
Zecutine's "Step Away With Me" Stairs - "Olive" recolor
ValueWood Lumber's "Justa Door" - "Grey" recolor
Yellow Community Phone Recolor
Brick Wall (plus non-Maxis add-on textures)
Nightlife Tile Wall covering
Worn "Bamboo Fever" Wallpaper
Eat At Tiles - Red and White Tile walls
Misc floors
Jungle Rocks Neighborhood Dรฉcor (BV)
Bohemian Moldings Diagonal Mesh + Default
How to find more lost and found walls and floors and fences (There are quite a few duplicates that are already in your game if you unlock all of these, so just beware.)
Maxis Pre-Order Bonuses and Old TS2 Site Downloads
Additional useful links:
Must-have mods list for TS2. Compiled especially for Sims 2 Legacy Edition players, but useful for anyone no matter what version of TS2 you play.
Sims 2 Object Default Database Spreadsheet - this includes a whole bunch of defaults that I do not use.
A huge thank you to all the talented creators and modders who keep this game looking fresh after 20 years!
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goldfades ยท 6 months ago
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LOVE IS THE ONE THING THAT CANNOT BE TAINTED BY FEAR OR DOUBTโ”€โ”€FATHER CHARLIE MAYHEW
part two!!!
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for this request!!
โ”€ summary | you and father charlie share a bond that goes beyond the confines of your church duties, with your public image as a nurturing servant masking the frustration and resentment you harbor privately. when nun megan grows suspicious and begins spying, she uncovers the intimate, vulnerable side of your relationship, catching a moment where emotions boil over into something more forbidden
โ”€ pairing | father charlie mayhew x fem!mother!reader
โ”€ word count | 6k
โ”€ warnings | few kisses, kinda angsty, pretty wholesome though, nun megan being nosy AF, mentions/descriptions of being longing to be a mother + have a family, forbidden love, ends on a cliff hanger (part 2 coming soon, i just couldn't fit everything in one part)
โ”€ ev's notes | my requests are open if you wanna send anything in! (please do btw i'm obsessed w nicholas LMAO). again this turned out very wordy and self-indulgent, my apologies
ok love u bye!!! pls send me requests!!!!!!
โ‡จ missing out on updates? check out my masterlist!
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The faint scent of incense lingers in the air, the wisps of smoke curling upward toward the stained glass windows, where muted beams of light filter through, casting the nave in shades of gold and crimson. The church is quiet now, save for the soft rustle of robes and the shuffling feet of the last parishioners as they take their leave. You remain rooted to your spot at the front, hands clasped in front of you, your gaze lowered in practiced reverence.
Youโ€™ve spent years perfecting this imageโ€”a serene, dutiful figure in service to the church. The warmth you offer is genuine, but it's also an armor, a shield from the world beyond the altar. You can feel their eyes on you as they depart, expecting grace, expecting humility, expecting nothing more than what youโ€™ve always given them.
But beneath the surface, you can feel the stirrings of something else. The long hours, the endless work, the weight of expectationsโ€”it grinds against you, slowly wearing away at the image youโ€™ve created. And no one sees it. No one, except him.
Father Charlie stands beside the altar, his back turned to you as he speaks to one of the deacons, his voice low and calming, as it always is. Thereโ€™s something about himโ€”something steady, something realโ€”that draws you to him. Heโ€™s the only one who understands the pressures you both face, the only one who sees through the veneer you maintain for the sake of the church.
As the last of the congregation filters out, a wave of relief washes over you. The doors close with a soft echo, leaving the two of you in the lingering quiet of the empty church. You allow yourself to breathe, to let go of the tightness in your chest. Itโ€™s only in moments like these, when the others have gone, that you can finally be yourselfโ€”unburdened by the expectations of the flock, free from the eyes of those who can never truly understand.
But you sense it, donโ€™t you? That something else is watching, something creeping at the edges of this sanctuary, waiting for you to slip.
You feel a prickle of awareness, an instinct, perhaps, that youโ€™re not as alone as you think. But you push it aside, telling yourself itโ€™s nothingโ€”just the remnants of the day clinging to your thoughts. After all, in the safety of the church, what could possibly be wrong?
You step forward, closer to Father Charlie, your voice dropping to a murmur. โ€œThey never stop looking, do they?โ€
He turns toward you, and thereโ€™s a softness in his expressionโ€”something that tells you heโ€™s been thinking the same thing. โ€œNo,โ€ he says quietly, โ€œthey never do.โ€
You exchange a glance with Father Charlie, a silent acknowledgment passing between you. He sees the cracks in your facade, the weight you carry, but you donโ€™t speak of it yet. Instead, you let the stillness of the church settle over you like a heavy cloak.
From the corner of your eye, you notice a figure lingering near the back of the nave, her sharp eyes scanning the room with a quiet intensity. Nun Megan.
Sheโ€™s always watching, isnโ€™t she? Always hovering on the fringes, her gaze lingering just a second too long whenever youโ€™re near Father Charlie. At first, you thought it was nothingโ€”just her usual vigilance. But lately, youโ€™ve felt her eyes more than ever, probing, curious. Sheโ€™s never said anything outright, but the suspicion is there, woven into every glance, every pause when the two of you are together.
Today is no different.
She lingers by the back pew, her hands folded in front of her, eyes flicking between you and Father Charlie, as though waiting for something, anything, to confirm what she already suspects. You can feel the weight of her judgment, subtle but ever-present, like a shadow you canโ€™t shake.
Father Charlie hasnโ€™t noticed her yet, his focus still on you as he speaks softly, a reassuring tone to his words. โ€œYou know we canโ€™t let this consume us. What we do hereโ€ฆ itโ€™s bigger than us.โ€
His words are meant to calm you, to pull you back from the edge of frustration, but your thoughts are already racing. You glance toward Nun Megan again, just in time to see her quickly avert her gaze, pretending to adjust a candle on the altar. Sheโ€™s watchingโ€”of course, sheโ€™s watching.
You wonder if sheโ€™s been watching longer than you realize.
โ€œI know,โ€ you say, your voice low. But the bitterness creeps in, twisting your words. โ€œBut sometimes I think weโ€™re expected to be more than human. How long are we supposed to pretend we donโ€™t feel anything?โ€
Charlieโ€™s eyes soften, but before he can respond, you see him glance over your shoulderโ€”finally catching sight of Nun Megan. The tension in the room shifts, subtle but palpable. He straightens, his face smoothing into the calm, composed expression he wears so well. โ€œSister Megan,โ€ he calls out, his voice gentle but pointed.
She steps forward, her smile small and tight, her eyes darting between you both. โ€œFather Charlie,โ€ she says softly, inclining her head in a show of respect. โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to intrude. I was justโ€ฆ making sure everything was in order.โ€
Her words hang in the air, innocuous enough on the surface, but thereโ€™s something else there, hidden beneath her polite tone. You can see it in her eyesโ€”the doubt, the questions she doesnโ€™t dare ask.
Not yet, anyway.
Father Charlie offers her a kind smile, though you can tell he senses it too. โ€œEverythingโ€™s fine, Sister,โ€ he says. โ€œWe were just finishing up.โ€
But even as she nods and steps back, you know this wonโ€™t be the last time. Sheโ€™ll keep watching, waiting for the moment when your guard slips. And when it does, sheโ€™ll be ready.
As Nun Megan retreats to the back of the church, your pulse quickens. Youโ€™ve held your composure for now, but the unease gnaws at you. The walls feel tighter, the air more stifling. Sheโ€™s already too close, and itโ€™s only a matter of time before she sees more than you want her to.
Father Charlie steps closer, his voice barely above a whisper. โ€œWe have to be careful.โ€
You nod, but inside, you know itโ€™s already too late. Meganโ€™s already seen enough to suspectโ€”and suspicion, in a place like this, is dangerous.
โ”€โ”€โ”€
You lay on Charlie's bare chest, still breathless from the earlier exertion. The warmth of his skin radiates beneath your cheek, your fingers tracing lazy patterns along the scars and soft ridges of his chest. The room is quiet, save for the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the muted sound of your heartbeats thrumming together in the aftermath of what youโ€™ve just shared. The intimacy of the moment feels stolenโ€”like something you shouldn't have, but neither of you can resist.
You close your eyes for a moment, letting yourself sink into the softness of him, the way he smells of incense and something darker, something distinctly him. This is the one place where the world falls away, where the weight of your roles within the church, the expectations, the endless eyes watching your every moveโ€”they don't matter here. In these stolen moments, youโ€™re not the pious Mother superior they expect you to be, and Charlie is not the solemn priest. Here, in the seclusion of your shared quarters, you are simply you and him.
He lets out a quiet sigh, his fingers brushing through your hair as if to anchor you to him, to the present. You shift slightly, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes are softer now, the usual veil of composure lowered, revealing the tenderness he reserves only for you. Thereโ€™s a question in his gaze, though, something unspoken yet palpable, like a prayer hanging in the air between you both.
โ€œDo you think she suspects?โ€ you ask quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, as though even here, in this hidden sanctuary, youโ€™re afraid to speak too loudly.
Charlieโ€™s hand stills for a moment in your hair, and he hesitates before answering. โ€œShe watches,โ€ he says softly, his tone measured but tinged with a hint of unease. โ€œMegan always watches.โ€
You bite your lip, trying to push away the knot of anxiety tightening in your chest. Nun Meganโ€™s eyes have been everywhere lately, her presence lingering in corners, her footsteps echoing in halls where no one should be. You can feel her judgment even when sheโ€™s not there, like a shadow creeping just behind you.
โ€œWhat if she knows?โ€ you ask, your voice shaking slightly. โ€œWhat if sheโ€™s already seen too much?โ€
Charlieโ€™s hand cups your cheek, drawing your gaze back to his. โ€œWeโ€™ve been careful,โ€ he reassures you, his voice steady and soothing. โ€œBut even if she suspects, we wonโ€™t let her tear us apart. Not here. Not now.โ€
His words should comfort you, but they donโ€™t. Thereโ€™s too much at stakeโ€”too many risks. And yet, despite everything, you canโ€™t pull away. The bond between you both is too deep, too powerful to sever. You close your eyes again, letting the quiet blanket you both, willing the worries to dissolve into the stillness.
But somewhere beyond the walls of this sanctuary, you know Nun Megan is watching. Waiting. And itโ€™s only a matter of time before the veil of secrecy slips, and the forbidden truth of what you share is laid bare.
The silence between you and Father Charlie feels heavier now, like the air has thickened with all the unspoken words and the knowledge that your time together might soon be fractured by someone elseโ€™s gaze. You shift your body, propping yourself up slightly on his chest so you can look at him fully.
His brow is furrowed, but he wears the same soft expression he always does when he's with you, the kind that calms your nerves even when the weight of the world presses in on you. You reach out and gently brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead, your fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary.
"You canโ€™t be the one to carry all the worry," he murmurs, his voice deep and soothing, laced with that unwavering faith that youโ€™ve come to rely on. He places his hand over yours, his thumb tracing circles against your knuckles. โ€œI can see it in your eyesโ€”youโ€™ve been holding too much inside.โ€
You want to deny it, to say that youโ€™re strong enough, that you can bear whatever comes next, but you know heโ€™s right. Thereโ€™s too much weighing you downโ€”too many people to answer to, too many demands, and far too many secrets.
โ€œIโ€™m scared,โ€ you admit quietly, the words slipping from your lips before you can stop them. โ€œNot just of Meganโ€ฆ but of what happens if we get caught. What theyโ€™ll do to us. What theyโ€™ll do to you.โ€ You lower your gaze, the vulnerability of the confession hanging between you like a leaden weight.
Charlie exhales softly, his hand moving to your jaw, tilting your chin up so that your eyes meet his again. Thereโ€™s something fierce in his gaze now, an intensity that reassures you despite the uncertainty swirling around you both.
โ€œWhatever happens,โ€ he says, his voice firm, โ€œweโ€™ll face it together. They canโ€™t take that away from us.โ€
โ€œWhat if itโ€™s not enough?โ€ you ask, your voice barely a whisper. โ€œWhat if thisโ€ฆ this thing we share, this loveโ€”what if itโ€™s not enough to save us?โ€
The church is supposed to be a sanctuary, a place of peace and solace, but lately, itโ€™s felt more like a prison. You can sense the walls closing in, the tension rising between the expectation of holiness and the very human desires youโ€™ve tried so hard to suppress.
Charlie shakes his head slowly, his gaze never leaving yours. โ€œIt is enough,โ€ he insists. โ€œLove is the one thing that canโ€™t be tainted by fear or doubt. What we haveโ€”itโ€™s sacred in its own way. Even if the church sees it differently.โ€
For a moment, you let yourself believe him. His words wrap around you like a protective shroud, and in this spaceโ€”this room, away from the watchful eyes of the othersโ€”itโ€™s easy to imagine that maybe, just maybe, heโ€™s right. That what you have can survive the scrutiny, the judgment, and the dangers that loom just outside these walls.
But as much as you want to cling to that hope, the doubt is still there, lurking at the edges of your thoughts.
You donโ€™t say anything else, instead letting your head fall back against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath you. The sound is calming, a tether to the present, to this moment you share together.
But somewhere in the back of your mind, you canโ€™t shake the feeling that time is running out. That soon, Nun Megan will step beyond suspicion and into certainty, and when she does, the fragile world youโ€™ve built with Charlie will come crashing down.
Outside, the wind howls against the old stone walls of the church, a reminder of the world waiting for you beyond this small sanctuary. But for now, for this brief and precious moment, itโ€™s just you and himโ€”together, against whatever comes next.
โ”€โ”€โ”€
The sun hangs high in the clear afternoon sky, casting a golden light over the open field where the annual church picnic is in full swing. Children run through the grass, their laughter ringing out like tiny bells carried on the breeze, while the adults gather around tables laden with food, exchanging pleasantries and stories. You stand near the edge of the field, watching as a group of children pulls you into their game of tag, their faces lit up with joy and mischief.
You canโ€™t help but laugh, your heart light as you chase after them, the stress and fear that have weighed on you for so long melting away, if only for a moment. The children's energy is infectious, their innocence a brief but welcome reprieve from the gravity of the world you usually inhabit. They dart around you, giggling and shrieking with excitement as they narrowly avoid your grasp, their small hands brushing against yours in passing.
You catch a young girl in your arms, swinging her around in a playful twirl before setting her down. Her laughter is so pure, so unburdened by the weight of the world, and it stirs something inside youโ€”a long-forgotten lightness that youโ€™ve almost forgotten was there.
From across the field, Father Charlie watches you, his eyes softening as they follow your movements. You are radiant in this moment, free from the burden of secrets and suspicion, your face bright with genuine joy as you interact with the children. His heart swells at the sight, an unfamiliar warmth spreading through his chest.
He has always admired your strengthโ€”the way you carry so much, how you stand tall even when the weight of your responsibilities threatens to break you. But here, now, seeing you like this, surrounded by children, laughing freely, Charlie feels something different. Something deeper.
It's more than just admiration. Itโ€™s a longing, a quiet ache for something more than the life heโ€™s chosen. Watching you with the children sparks a warmth inside him he hadnโ€™t known he could still feel, a yearning for a different kind of closeness. One that he knows is forbidden, yet he canโ€™t help but dream about.
You twirl around with another child, your smile wide as they tumble into your arms. For a brief second, you catch Charlieโ€™s gaze from across the field, and your eyes meet. Thereโ€™s something in his look that makes your breath catchโ€”a tenderness, a softness that youโ€™ve rarely seen outside the privacy of your hidden moments together. His lips curl into a small, almost shy smile, as though heโ€™s caught himself staring but canโ€™t quite tear his gaze away.
For a moment, it feels as if the rest of the world fades away. The laughter of the children, the hum of conversations, even the sounds of natureโ€”all of it dulls into the background as you stand there, frozen in that quiet exchange with Charlie.
Itโ€™s a connection you feel deep in your chest, one thatโ€™s always been there, simmering beneath the surface, but is now rising to the forefront, too powerful to ignore.
The children pull you back into the game, and the moment is broken, but the warmth of Charlieโ€™s gaze lingers with you. As you chase after the little ones again, you feel a blush creep up your neck, knowing that even here, in the open, with the church congregation all around, thereโ€™s something between you that no one else can touch.
Charlie tears his eyes away, his heart still beating a little faster than before. He forces himself to join in the casual conversations around him, but his thoughts remain with you, and that moment. Heโ€™s always been good at keeping his emotions at bay, keeping his desires hidden beneath the layers of duty and faith. But now, watching you like this, he feels those walls crumbling, just a little.
And for the first time in a long while, he allows himself to wonder: What would it be like to have this warmthโ€”to hold onto it, to let it fill the hollow spaces inside him? What would it be like if the life heโ€™d chosen wasnโ€™t a barrier but something that could coexist with the connection he feels with you?
He shakes his head, trying to push the thoughts away. But they cling to him, persistent, like the warmth in his chest that refuses to fade.
As the afternoon wears on, and the children slowly tire out, you make your way back toward the picnic tables where the rest of the congregation was. Your cheeks flushed with exertion, your hair slightly wind-tossed, and you catch Charlie watching you again, and this time, thereโ€™s something in his gaze that makes your heart flutterโ€”a promise, perhaps, or a confession yet to be spoken. Charlie begins making his way over to you, a warm smile on his lips.
One of the little girls run up to you once again, practically tumbling into your arms. You giggle, grabbing her waist and pulling her into your lap.
"Mother Y/N, have you ever wanted children?" she asks.
Her question catches you off guard. The little girl's innocent eyes peer up at you, wide and curious, and for a moment, youโ€™re unsure how to respond. You feel Charlieโ€™s presence nearby, his footsteps slowing as he hears the question, and your heart skips a beat.
You smooth the girl's hair back gently, buying yourself a second to gather your thoughts. Childrenโ€ฆ itโ€™s not something youโ€™ve allowed yourself to think about much, not with the path you've chosen. Being a mother in the literal sense feels like an impossible dreamโ€”something meant for another life, another version of you.
Still, the warmth of the child in your lap, her trust and affection, tugs at something deep inside you.
You smile softly, running your fingers through her hair. โ€œI suppose I have,โ€ you admit, your voice gentle. โ€œThere was a time when I thought I might have a family of my own one day. But now... I think my place is here, taking care of all of you.โ€
The little girl tilts her head, a frown crossing her face as she processes your words. โ€œBut wouldnโ€™t you like to be a real mama?โ€ she asks, her small hands gripping your arm as if to anchor you to the moment, to the question.
Before you can answer, you feel a presence behind youโ€”Charlie has arrived. He crouches down beside you, his hand brushing your shoulder in a gesture so natural, so easy, that it almost makes your heart ache.
โ€œThe way you care for everyone here,โ€ he says softly, his voice warm and filled with admiration, โ€œI think youโ€™re already a mother to so many.โ€
You glance up at him, your eyes meeting his, and thereโ€™s something in his gazeโ€”something gentle and understanding, but also deeper, more personal. His words resonate in a way that goes beyond the roles youโ€™ve both taken on within the church. For a moment, you allow yourself to imagine itโ€”what it would be like if things were different, if you and Charlie could have a life beyond the confines of the walls youโ€™ve built around yourselves.
The girl beams, nodding in agreement. โ€œSee? Youโ€™re like a mama to us already,โ€ she declares, then wraps her small arms around your neck in a tight hug before hopping off your lap and running back toward the other children, her energy renewed.
You watch her go, your heart swelling with a mixture of emotions. When you turn back to Charlie, heโ€™s still crouched beside you, his expression softened by something you canโ€™t quite put into words.
โ€œYou handled that well,โ€ he says quietly, his smile reaching his eyes.
You laugh softly, shaking your head. โ€œI donโ€™t think I was prepared for that kind of question, if I'm being honest.โ€
He chuckles too, and for a brief moment, the world feels lighter, the weight of everything youโ€™ve been holding inside lifted by the simple connection between you two.
But as the childrenโ€™s laughter echoes around you and the other parishioners continue with their picnic, you feel the weight of reality creeping back in. This quiet moment with Charlieโ€”this glimpse of what could beโ€”feels like a fleeting dream. You know the path youโ€™ve both chosen is far more complicated than that. Yet, as you stand together in the warm afternoon sun, you allow yourself to linger in this feeling for just a little while longer.
Charlieโ€™s hand brushes against yours, lingering for just a moment, and you know that whatever happens next, whatever challenges come your way, you wonโ€™t be facing them alone.
โ”€โ”€โ”€
The last light of day has faded, leaving the courtyard steeped in a deep, quiet twilight. You stand by the fountain, your fingers tracing the cold, rough surface of the stone. You try to breathe deeply, but frustration gnaws at your insides. On the outside, you wear the same mask you always doโ€”calm, nurturing, and devout. But inside, thereโ€™s an ever-present storm, growing louder by the day.
Your thoughts drift back to Father Charlie, to the comfort he offered earlier. His words felt like a balm on your wounds, but they didnโ€™t erase the resentment. The weight of expectations presses on your shouldersโ€”constant demands, endless servitude, all while suppressing the truth of who you are.
Your gaze flickers toward the chapel, half-hoping to see him stepping into the courtyard. But the figure that emerges from the shadows isnโ€™t him.
Nun Megan.
Her steps are silent but deliberate, and her eyes are as sharp as ever. Youโ€™ve noticed her watching latelyโ€”her gaze lingering on you and Father Charlie, suspicion glinting in her eyes.
โ€œOut late again, I see,โ€ she says, her voice carrying a quiet accusation. She stops a few feet away, her gaze fixed on you, unblinking. โ€œYouโ€™ve been spending a great deal of time in Father Charlieโ€™s company.โ€
You stiffen at her words, but force yourself to remain composed. You know how to wear the maskโ€”how to keep the perfect image intact. โ€œI seek guidance, Sister Megan,โ€ you reply, your voice measured. โ€œFather Charlie offers wisdom.โ€
Her lips press into a thin line, her expression hard. โ€œGuidance, is it?โ€ Thereโ€™s no mistaking the suspicion in her voice now. โ€œWe all seek guidance, but youโ€™ve beenโ€ฆ close.โ€
The accusation hangs in the air between you, cold and heavy. You feel a flash of anger rise within you, but you suppress it, keeping your voice even. โ€œWe are all called to be close to God. To each other, Sister.โ€
Megan steps closer, her eyes narrowing. โ€œPerhaps. But eyes are everywhere. You should be careful. Itโ€™s my duty to protect the sanctity of this place.โ€ Her words are a thinly veiled threat, warning you that sheโ€™s watching.
Before you can respond, a voice cuts through the tension.
โ€œSister Megan.โ€
You turn at the sound of Father Charlieโ€™s voice, relief washing over you as he steps into the courtyard. His presence brings with it a sense of calm, as if the storm threatening to engulf you has momentarily eased. His gaze flicks between you and Megan, though when his eyes land on you, they soften.
โ€œIs there a problem?โ€ he asks, his tone neutral, but his eyes hold a silent reassurance.
Megan stands a little straighter under his scrutiny. She hesitates, clearly uncomfortable with challenging him, but her suspicion remains. โ€œNo, Father,โ€ she says finally. โ€œI was simply offering our sister here a reminder of her vows. Itโ€™s important we maintain propriety.โ€
Father Charlieโ€™s expression doesnโ€™t change. โ€œOf course, Sister. We all must uphold our vows. You may return to your duties.โ€
Thereโ€™s a pause, and for a moment, you think Megan might push further. But then she inclines her head and turns away, her steps sharp and purposeful as she leaves the courtyard. The weight of her presence lingers, like a shadow refusing to lift.
As soon as sheโ€™s gone, you exhale, tension slipping from your shoulders. Father Charlie steps closer to you, his voice low and steady. โ€œShe grows more suspicious.โ€
You nod, swallowing against the knot in your throat. โ€œI donโ€™t know how much longer I can keep doing this,โ€ you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. The mask youโ€™ve worn for so long feels suffocating now, the weight of expectations unbearable.
Father Charlieโ€™s expression softens, and when he reaches out, his fingers lightly brush your arm. โ€œYouโ€™re not alone,โ€ he says, his voice filled with warmth. โ€œWeโ€™ll figure this out. Together.โ€
His touch sends a spark through you, and for a moment, the weight of your burdens eases. But as you stand there, alone in the darkness with him, you know that the road ahead will only grow more difficult. Still, with him beside you, it feels less daunting.
You stay silent for a long moment, standing there with Father Charlie. His presence should be enough to calm you, but the weight of your thoughts has become unbearable, pressing down harder than ever before.
โ€œI never wanted this life,โ€ you finally whisper, eyes fixed on the fountainโ€™s surface, the soft ripple of water reflecting the sky. โ€œWhen I was a little girl, I dreamed of something else.โ€
Charlie says nothing, letting you speak, his silence a kind of permission.
You take a breath, the memories flooding back. โ€œI used to imagine myself far away from hereโ€”away from society, the rules, the eyes always watching. I dreamed of having a family, children running through an open field, laughter filling the air. I wanted to be a mother,โ€ your voice wavers slightly, โ€œto nurture my own, not just serve others.โ€
The words feel strange as they leave your mouth, like a confession youโ€™ve never dared to speak aloud. Even though youโ€™ve lived in service, dedicating yourself to this life, thereโ€™s always been a gnawing ache inside you for something moreโ€”something that belonged solely to you.
โ€œI imagined a small cottage,โ€ you continue, your voice growing softer, โ€œwith a garden, flowers blooming. Somewhere far from this place, where no one could judge me, where I could be free. I wanted to love, to build a life that was mine.โ€
Father Charlie shifts closer, his hand lightly brushing against yours, offering silent support.
โ€œBut insteadโ€ฆ I ended up here.โ€ The words hang in the air, heavy with regret. โ€œI thought I was doing the right thing, choosing this path. I thought it would bring me peace. But it didnโ€™t. It feels like every day, Iโ€™m giving up more of myselfโ€”burying my real desires so deep I hardly recognize them anymore.โ€
Your throat tightens as a tear escapes, sliding down your cheek. The picnic earlier flickers in your mind, how for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to feel happiness. Real happiness. Sitting under the sun with him, laughing, letting your guard downโ€”it had stirred something in you, something real and raw, a glimpse of the life you had always wanted.
โ€œThat picnicโ€ฆโ€ you murmur, your voice thick with emotion. โ€œFor the first time in so long, I felt alive. I didnโ€™t feel like the person everyone expects me to be. I felt likeโ€ฆ me.โ€
Father Charlieโ€™s gaze softens, and he doesnโ€™t pull away when you step closer, his presence like a steadying force. โ€œItโ€™s not wrong to want more,โ€ he says gently. โ€œYou deserve to feel whole.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know if I can,โ€ you confess, your voice trembling. โ€œIโ€™ve given up so much already. Whatโ€™s left of me?โ€
He lifts your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes, and in them, you see the same conflict, the same struggle that mirrors your own. โ€œThereโ€™s still time,โ€ he says, his words a quiet promise. โ€œThereโ€™s still time to find yourself.โ€
Tears spill freely now, and before you can stop yourself, you collapse into his arms, seeking solace in the warmth of his embrace. For a moment, the walls around your heart crumble, and you let yourself feel the ache of all youโ€™ve lostโ€”the life you could have had, the dreams that seem so distant now.
โ€œI wanted a family,โ€ you whisper into his shoulder, your voice breaking. โ€œI wanted to be a mother, to love, to be loved. But insteadโ€ฆโ€
He tightens his arms around you, his voice barely above a whisper. โ€œYou are loved. In ways you may not see yet.โ€
Father Charlie holds you close, his arms steady around you as your tears soak into his robe. The dam has broken, and thereโ€™s no holding back the flood of emotions anymore. You cling to him like heโ€™s the only solid thing in a world thatโ€™s crumbling beneath your feet, each sob rising from a place so deep it scares you.
โ€œI thoughtโ€ฆ I thought if I buried those dreams long enough, theyโ€™d go away,โ€ you murmur into his shoulder. โ€œBut they havenโ€™t. Theyโ€™ve only grown louder. I see families, mothers with their children, and itโ€™s like a knife in my heart. I want thatโ€”so much it hurts.โ€
You pull back just enough to look up at him, eyes searching his face for understanding. His brow furrows, concern etched into every line. โ€œI feel trapped here,โ€ you continue, voice cracking. โ€œIโ€™ve spent my life giving and giving, but no matter how much I give, I canโ€™t find peace. All I ever wanted was a simple life, with love. But instead, Iโ€™mโ€ฆ this.โ€
Father Charlieโ€™s hand comes up to cradle the side of your face, his thumb gently brushing away a tear. โ€œYouโ€™re not alone in this,โ€ he says, his voice soft but resolute. โ€œI see your struggle, and I feel it too. Every day I ask myself if I made the right choice. If this is what my life was meant to be.โ€
The vulnerability in his words makes your breath hitch. Youโ€™ve never heard him speak like this before, never knew he had the same doubts gnawing at him. Itโ€™s both terrifying and comforting at onceโ€”knowing that even someone like him, someone who always seems so sure, is just as lost as you are.
โ€œI donโ€™t know how to keep pretending,โ€ you admit, your voice a fragile whisper. โ€œThat picnic, earlier todayโ€ฆ it felt like a glimpse of the life I couldโ€™ve had. And for just a moment, I was happy. Truly happy. But then it all came crashing backโ€”the guilt, the expectations. The life I chose. It feels like a prison.โ€
Father Charlieโ€™s thumb pauses on your cheek, and he lets out a slow breath. โ€œI understand,โ€ he says quietly. โ€œMore than you know.โ€
The air between you feels heavy, thick with unspoken truths and shared pain. Thereโ€™s something unspoken in his gaze, a longing that mirrors your own, and for a brief moment, you wonder if heโ€™s wrestling with the same thoughtsโ€”if his dreams have also been sacrificed for a life heโ€™s no longer certain of.
โ€œI never thoughtโ€ฆ,โ€ you begin, but the words catch in your throat. โ€œI never thought Iโ€™d feel this way, here of all places.โ€
His hand slips from your cheek to your shoulder, his touch warm and grounding. โ€œFeelings are complicated,โ€ he says softly, his eyes never leaving yours. โ€œSometimes, we think weโ€™ve made peace with our choices, but deep down, our hearts tell a different story.โ€
A silence stretches between you, heavy but not uncomfortable. Thereโ€™s something raw and honest about this moment, like the two of you are finally shedding the masks youโ€™ve been wearing for so long.
โ€œI donโ€™t know what to do,โ€ you admit, voice barely audible. โ€œI feel so lost.โ€
Father Charlieโ€™s gaze softens, and he leans in just slightly, his face close. โ€œYou donโ€™t have to have all the answers right now,โ€ he murmurs. โ€œBut you donโ€™t have to face this alone.โ€
The weight of his words settles over you like a blanket, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, you donโ€™t have to carry this burden on your own. Maybe thereโ€™s room for something moreโ€”something real.
Your heart races in your chest, and you take a shaky breath, eyes locked with his. The closeness between you feels electric, every nerve in your body attuned to his presence, to the quiet intensity in his gaze. Itโ€™s dangerousโ€”this connection. You both know it.
But in this moment, itโ€™s all you have.
โ”€โ”€โ”€
The church bells have just finished ringing, signaling the end of Sunday Mass. You stand outside with Father Charlie, your heart still heavy from the morningโ€™s sermon. The congregation begins to disperse, everyone offering quiet blessings to one another as they leave. You and Father Charlie remain, lingering by the old stone archway. Itโ€™s quieter now, the sacred stillness of the church grounds wrapped around you both like a secret.
He turns to you, his gaze soft and familiar, and you can feel the pull between youโ€”stronger now than ever. The unspoken connection that had simmered all week after your vulnerable conversation feels unbearable in its intensity.
โ€œI shouldnโ€™tโ€ฆโ€ you start, but your words falter as he steps closer, the warmth of his presence radiating into the space between you.
โ€œI know,โ€ he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. But the way his eyes flicker from yours to your lips betrays his struggle, mirroring your own.
Before either of you can talk yourselves out of it, your lips meet in a kiss. Itโ€™s soft at first, tentative, but it quickly deepens, fueled by the weight of everything youโ€™ve been holding back for so long. The world seems to disappearโ€”just the two of you in a moment stolen from time itself, as your heart pounds wildly in your chest.
The kiss is both a comfort and a confession, a silent surrender to everything youโ€™ve been too afraid to say. You clutch the fabric of his robe, pulling him closer, needing to feel the solidness of him, to anchor yourself in this forbidden moment.
But then, a gaspโ€”a sharp intake of breath that slices through the intimacy like a blade. You break apart, breathless, and turn to see Nun Megan standing at the edge of the churchyard. Her face is a portrait of shock and disbelief, eyes wide, hand clasped over her mouth as though she cannot believe what sheโ€™s just witnessed.
Your stomach drops, cold dread flooding your veins.
โ€œGoodnessโ€ฆโ€ she whispers, her voice laced with horror, โ€œwhat have you done?โ€
Father Charlie immediately steps back, but the damage is done. The air is charged with accusation, and you can see the betrayal written across her face. The weight of your actions crashes down around you, guilt mixing with panic.
โ€œMegan, itโ€™s notโ€”โ€ Father Charlie begins, but thereโ€™s no stopping her now. She turns and rushes back toward the church, her steps frantic as if sheโ€™s running to report what sheโ€™s seen, to stop the corruption before it spreads further.
You and Father Charlie are left standing in the aftermath, the kiss lingering on your lips, now tainted with the knowledge that everything is about to change.
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charliemwrites ยท 9 months ago
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(Re)organized Crime, Part 8!
I was going to wait a little longer to post this (I say, looking guiltily at the queue) but I felt bad leaving it on a cliff hanger!
Content: Attempted Breaking and Entering, Fear for Safety, Hurt/Comfort
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Four months ago, Simon drove you home for the first time.
It was a bad week all around. On Monday, Soap broke his arm. Gaz left with Farah and Alex on Tuesday for a business trip on the other side of the country. Wednesday brought about two dozen emails from Philip Gravesโ€™ wretched assistant, ugly pastel green borders framing each one. By Thursday, you almost werenโ€™t surprised by the call about a lost shipment.
You were surprised when Price raised his voice at you, though.
โ€œThe fuck do you mean itโ€™s missing?โ€ he snarled.
You stood across from him with your tablet in hand, grossly unorganized logs open onscreen.
โ€œI donโ€™t think there are other ways I could mean it,โ€ you answered lightly. โ€œThe crates left port and didnโ€™t show up at the next one.โ€
You were scribbling on the screen, compiling the log into something more comprehensive. Purposefully not making eye contact because you could feel the angry heat radiating off him. It was making your hands tremble, but youโ€™d be damned if you let it show.
โ€œWell then where the fuck are they?โ€ he demanded.
โ€œIf I knew that, sir, they wouldnโ€™t be missing.โ€
โ€œAre you taking the fucking piss?โ€
At that, you let out a heavy breath and looked up, expression flat. Priceโ€™s expression was dark, mouth tight. One hand gripped the arm of his office chair while the index finger of the other tap, tap, tapped his desk. You stared him down for a moment, reminding yourself to breathe with each uneven beat of your heart. Waited through a count of 20 before he huffed.
โ€œJust find the damn thing,โ€ he growled.
โ€œShall I use my crystal ball?โ€
You nearly jumped a mile when he barked your name in reprimand. And that was about the time you had enough.
โ€œJohn.โ€
He froze. Across the room, so did Simon and Soap. You were so shocked by your own outburst that you came up a bit short as well. Didnโ€™t even have a chance to gather more words when Priceโ€™s shoulders dropped. The anger melted away, replaced with apology and self-deprecation.
โ€œChrist, luv, Iโ€™m sorry. Where have my manners gone?โ€
He ran a hand down his face, pinched the bridge of his nose where you were sure a headache was brewing.
โ€œThank you for the apology. I know this is important,โ€ you soothed, softening your voice. โ€œGive me 30 minutes and Iโ€™ll have a list of people you should yell at.โ€
He grimaced, โ€œTake 45 for the trouble, darling.โ€
You used the extra fifteen minutes to brew him a fresh cup of tea and served it with a couple pain meds. When youโ€™d delivered the analysis, he told you to head home early, that it would be a late night regardless and there was no need for you to do more than you already had. (It hadnโ€™t helped the way that heโ€™d ducked his head, still sheepish. Youโ€™d squeezed his wrist as youโ€™d dropped off a list of damned names.)
With your usual drivers gone, Soapโ€™s arm broken, and Price out to rip several people a new one, Simon drove you home.
He scowled in the vestibule while you fumbled for your keys. Then glared at the entryway as you trudged to the elevator. He grumbled as he accepted the invitation into your apartment, only to sneer (yes, you knew he was sneering even with the mask) at the doorknob and deadbolt.
โ€œThis place is a bloody deathtrap,โ€ he finally declared, crossing his arms.
โ€œItโ€™s not that bad,โ€ you replied, shaking your head.
โ€œOne solid kick and this door is coming down.โ€
You arched an eyebrow. โ€œThen donโ€™t kick it.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sure a robber will be polite enough to knock,โ€ he scoffed.
โ€œThe crime rate is good in this area,โ€ you argued. Not great, but decent enoughโ€ฆ
โ€œBloody hell. Did you even โ€“ are your fucking windows unlocked?โ€
You blinked. โ€œWeโ€™re on the third floor, Simon.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t give a rats arseโ€”โ€
โ€œAnd stop swearing at me.โ€
โ€œโ€”that youโ€™re on the third floor. Lock your windows.โ€
You rolled your eyes but faltered when he narrowed his eyes, looming in the doorway like a fussy boogeyman. A clear indication that he did not plan to leave until you complied.
โ€œYou canโ€™t be serious!โ€ You were not whining.
โ€œAs the fuโ€” as the damn plague.โ€
You snorted. โ€œI think โ€˜damnโ€™ is still swearing.โ€
He didnโ€™t deign to respond to that, just arched his eyebrows. You mirror him right back, preparing to make a snippy comment about wasting company time.
โ€œIโ€™m sure Price would agree,โ€ he said as you opened your mouth. You shut it with a snap.
Smug bastard.
You groaned but made a show of padding to all the windows and clicking the latches shut. Even when into the bedroom to secure those too. When you were done, he grunted in satisfaction and turned for the door.
โ€œLock this too.โ€
โ€œI will, I will, Iโ€™m not dumb.โ€
You scrunched your nose at the skeptical grunt you received that time.
Before leaving, he pointed at you again, eyes narrowed. โ€œLock. Them. All.โ€
โ€œThey are!โ€
โ€œFrom now on.โ€
โ€œYes, Simon.โ€
If you survive this episode of Dateline youโ€™ve found yourself in, you owe him a scone and those nice cigarettes he pretends he doesnโ€™t smoke.
โ€œOpen thโ€™ fuckinโ€™ door, Bunny!โ€
Your fingers twitch around the hilt of the knife. Itโ€™s not a big one, but it is serrated. Thatโ€™s not going in or out without some serious damage. If not the fatal kind, at least the messy kind. Brandonโ€™s not doing anything to you without leaving a crime scene investigatorโ€™s wet dream behind.
โ€œBunnyyyyyyyy!โ€
The banging starts again, nearly as fast as your heart. You could swear it gets louder every time. Maybe itโ€™s just getting closer, layers of wood chipping away, closing the already too-small distance between you.
You glance desperately at your phone, but the screen remains damningly dark. Price promised heโ€™d be here soon, but it feels like hours since you hung up to preserve what little battery life you had left. Your stomach churns as the pounding turns to thicker, harder thumps. Throwing his body into the door again, trying to force entry. Simonโ€™s mutterings about kicking the door echo in your head.
You should have listened.
โ€œBunโ€”fuck!โ€
You jolt as something slams into the door, nearly taking it (and the entry table you braced against it) down. Thereโ€™s scuffling and scraping, muffled shouting, rapid footstepsโ€” then silence. You hold your breath, every muscle in your body wound tight enough to snap.
โ€œItโ€™s alright now.โ€
You lurch from your protective crouch in the hallway, shove clumsily at the table. The mangled front door swings in crooked on one hinge, cracked and splintered from top to bottom.
And John is there on the other side.
Youโ€™re not sure if he reaches for you or if you throw yourself into his arms. All that matters is that heโ€™s clutching you tight to his broad chest, tucking your head beneath his chin. Safe, protected. Your head spins as you lean into him, knowing that heโ€™ll support you. His heart is beating hard against your cheek.
โ€œJohn,โ€ you breathe, now that fear isnโ€™t squeezing your lungs in a vice.
โ€œIโ€™m here, luv,โ€ he murmurs into your hair.
Youโ€™re shaking. Adrenaline seeps from your bones, takes all their heat and steel with it. Youโ€™re left cold and feeble in the aftermath, fingertips numb as they curl tight into his shirt. You donโ€™t know where the knife is; you donโ€™t care. You donโ€™t need it now.
โ€œH-Heโ€ฆ Heโ€ฆโ€ you start.
John shushes you, squeezes a bit tighter in reassurance. He knows; you donโ€™t need to tell him, donโ€™t have to remind yourself of what could have happened.
โ€œWhereโ€ฆ?โ€ you try instead, but words are so hard. All the trembling must have knocked your voice loose, lost somewhere in the pit of your stomach.
โ€œSoap and Gaz are taking care of it,โ€ John says.
The last of the tension drains away. Your boys will scare Brandon off, maybe enough that he wonโ€™t ever bother you again. (The thought alone makes your eyes burn.) John is here now, and โ€“ when you peek out from around his bicep โ€“ so is Simon.
โ€œYou were right,โ€ you mumble, โ€œa-about the door.โ€
Simon winces. โ€œIโ€™m sorry that I was.โ€
Somehow, thatโ€™s what finally bursts the bubble of your restraint. You sob. Itโ€™s loud and sniffly and ugly. In the back of your mind, the part that can never just let you rest, youโ€™re mortified to be doing this in front of your coworker. And on your bossโ€™s nice shirt too. You have an image to maintainโ€”
Except Johnโ€™s broad hand is rubbing soothing circles into your lower back. Heโ€™s gathering you even closer, letting you shelter in his warmth and strength. Easing you through hiccups with quiet murmurs, telling you heโ€™s proud and that you did so well to call him.
Through tears, you see Simon reach out. Scarred knuckles run gently down your wet cheek.
โ€œWe take care of our own, little miss.โ€
You warble out a broken little โ€œSimoooonโ€ that seems to break the solemn atmosphere, John sighing against your temple and Simonโ€™s shoulders slumping in what might be fondness.
Itโ€™s not long before Soap and Gaz return, looking no worse for wear, thankfully. (Not that you think they canโ€™t handle themselves โ€“ but Brandon was drunk and who knows if he had a weapon or not. Accidents happen.)
โ€œAw, lass,โ€ Soap coos when he sees you. Calmer now, but still sniffling and wiping at stray tears. โ€œHeโ€™s gone now. Wonโ€™ be botherinโ€™ you again.โ€
You blink at the fresh blood on his knuckles and donโ€™t ask. You believe him.
โ€œThank you.โ€
โ€œNothinโ€™ to thank us for, doll. Should have taken care of โ€˜im earlier,โ€ Gaz replies.
โ€œEarlier?โ€ John asks. Heโ€™s trying for your sake, you can tell, but you know him too well to miss the sharp note in his voice.
โ€œHadnโ€™t had a chance to debrief, sir,โ€ Gaz explains regretfully.
You untuck your face from Johnโ€™s chest to be better heard, clearing your throat. โ€œStill, for all four of you to come hereโ€ฆโ€
โ€œWhat else would we do, sit with our thumbs up our bums?โ€ Soap teases.
โ€œThatโ€™ll do,โ€ Simon snips, but you giggle anyway.
It doesnโ€™t take much to convince you to leave your apartment โ€“ it takes a bit more to convince you to go to Johnโ€™s. Unfortunately, youโ€™re outnumbered, and while that normally wouldnโ€™t be a problem, youโ€™re not in a headspace to be stubborn, argumentative, or superficially brave.
All the boys have bachelor pads ill-suited to guests, especially on short notice. Maybe on some other night, under different circumstances, you would have insisted on a hotel.
But the idea of being alone in an unfamiliar place makes your skin crawl. You donโ€™t want to be alone. You want to be near John.
โ€œWe take care of our own,โ€ Simon said โ€“ so you let them.
Gaz, Soap, and Simon help to pack you an overnight bag, scattering to different corners of your apartment to collect items. In the meantime, you keep clinging to John because he keeps letting you. Exhaustion creeps at the edges of your mind, doubling gravity on your slumping shoulders.
โ€œDid I interrupt something important?โ€ you ask finally, voice hoarse.
โ€œNo, luv. Just a card game with some old friends. Soap was losing anyway.โ€
You sigh, relieved. At least you donโ€™t have the loss of some important business deal weighing on your conscience.
โ€œPoker again?โ€
โ€œKid canโ€™t keep a straight face for the life of him.โ€
You hide your smile against his shoulder and appreciate the chuckle you feel more than hear in his chest.
Simon takes the lead out of the building while Gaz and Soap bring up the rear. Youโ€™re a bit self-conscious of any neighbors seeing you in this state, but thankfully none make an appearance. Itโ€™s too late in the evening for anyone to be coming in or leaving, and if there were any witnesses to Brandonโ€™s bullshit, you never saw (or heard) them.
(โ€œThe hell is their problem, actinโ€™ like they didnae hear that bawbag?โ€ Soap grumbles. โ€œBystander effect,โ€ you answer, shrugging. He grimaces in understanding, but still looks pissed.)
The car is warm when John bundles you into the back seat. Soap takes the wheel, Simon the passenger side. Gaz sits on your other side and leans his knee gently into yours.
โ€œItโ€™s over now, doll, you can rest. We wonโ€™t let anythinโ€™ happen tโ€™you,โ€ he promises.
You smile wearily, lean in to drop a grateful kiss on his cheek.
โ€œDonโ€™t know what Iโ€™d do without you four,โ€ you sigh as you snuggle into Johnโ€™s side again.
โ€œDonโ€™t need to,โ€ Simon answers gruffly, โ€œweโ€™re not goinโ€™ anywhere.โ€
John hums in agreement, low and pleasant by your ear.
โ€œYou always take such good care of us,โ€ he murmurs. Quiet, just for the two of you. โ€œLet us return the favor for once, wonโ€™t you, darling?โ€
You want to resist. You should. You drop your head to his shoulder and sigh, โ€œOkay.โ€
Between the gentle motion of the car and the pattering of a fresh rainstorm, you donโ€™t stay awake for long. You nod off within four blocks of your apartment, peacefully unaware of the dazed and bloody body in the trunk.
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pretentious-blonde ยท 2 months ago
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aftermath
pairing: steve harrington x reader
summary: steve is wrecked, haunted by the thought that heโ€™d lost you for good. but when he finally braced himself for the worst, your answer shattered him in a way he never saw coming
warnings: 18+ emotional distress, angst, depression, major self-hatred, crying, smut, but like make up smut, minor bruising/scratches during intimacy (consensual), this is heavy guys
a/n: i hope this makes up for the cliff hanger. you do need to read this to fully understand what is going on. hope i did the make up justice!
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Youโ€™ve been living in your pajamas since Friday, the same ratty jumper and threadbare bottoms youโ€™ve slept in for days. The curtains in your living room are half-drawn, letting in just enough gray light to remind you itโ€™s daytimeโ€”though youโ€™re not quite sure which day it is anymore.ย 
Tuesday, probably.ย 
Youโ€™d asked for the whole week off, a near-unheard-of request, but you couldnโ€™t face the world after what transpired. Your hoarse voice must have been enough to convince your boss of your current state, though he most likely believed it was a result of a bug or the flu. You were grateful he didnโ€™t press further.ย 
Everything in your flat reminds you of him. The bookshelf he painstakingly built and shoved into the corner. The stupid T-shirts he left behind, folded on your desk. The toothbrush tucked in next to yours in the bathroom. Youโ€™ve cried more than you ever thought possible, especially as day after day passes with no call, no communication. Nothing.
Thatโ€™s why youโ€™ve barely left, lying low in your own sorrow. You should be out celebrating your first ever published articleโ€”yes, that finally got the green lightโ€”but even that feels tainted now. Steve had helped you with the idea, reading every paragraph you placed in front of him for inspection. Thinking about it only reopens the wound.
By late afternoon, youโ€™re in a numb haze, scrolling absentmindedly through the same TV channels, when a sudden knock on your door makes you freeze. Your pulse spikes with pure dread. You beg some higher power as you take a few tentative steps toward the entrance, pleading for it to be anyone else but him.ย 
โ€œWhoโ€”who is it?โ€
A boyโ€™s voice answers.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s Dustin.โ€
Surprise fills you, but you tug the door open anyway, still half-hidden behind the frame. The teenager stands there, head tipped back to look at you with wide eyes. He takes in your rumpled clothes, your blotchy cheeks, the dark circles under your eyesโ€”and his face softens with genuine concern.
โ€œHi,โ€ he says quietly.
โ€œHi?โ€ You canโ€™t hide your confusion. Youโ€™ve met him enough times to be friendlyโ€”even invited you to his birthday partyโ€”but this is definitely not the level of closeness where you expect him on your doorstep.
โ€œCan I come in?โ€ he asks, his tone polite.
โ€œUhโ€”yeah,โ€ you say, stepping aside. Youโ€™re mortified at the state of your living roomโ€”blankets and tissues strewn around, half-eaten toast on the coffee table. But Dustin doesnโ€™t so much as blink. He just walks in, glances at the chaos, and settles himself on the couch.
โ€œHave you heard from Steve?โ€ he asks gently, but the question punches you right in the gut. Your breath catches, tears immediately threatening to spill. He sees the way your eyes go misty and holds up both hands in alarm. โ€œWhoa, hey. No, wait, why are you crying?โ€
โ€œSorry,โ€ you manage, swiping at your face with the edge of your sleeve. โ€œI justโ€”I donโ€™t think me and Steve areโ€ฆ together anymore.โ€
โ€œAlright.โ€ The boy exhales, like the missing piece just slid into place. โ€œWell, thatโ€ฆ would explain a few things.โ€
โ€œExplain what?โ€ you ask, voice shaky.
He glances around, looking conflicted. Then he pats the space next to him on the couch.ย 
โ€œI think you need to sit down.โ€
Something about his earnest, grown-up tone makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time, but you sink down anyway. You stare at your own hands, picking at a loose thread on your jumper.
โ€œDo you want something to drink? Tea?โ€
โ€œUmโ€ฆ yeah.โ€ You blink, surprised by the shift. โ€œTop cupboard in the kitchen.โ€
โ€œOkayโ€ฆ You stay there.โ€
He heads into the kitchen and starts rummaging through your cupboards like itโ€™s the most natural thing in the world. You watch him, baffled as to how this kid is behaving.ย 
He returns, balancing two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one gently on the coffee table in front of you and then settles next to you on the couch. You notice the way he glances around at the mess once again, but he doesnโ€™t comment on any of itโ€”just holds his own mug close, like itโ€™s offering him a little comfort.
โ€œUm,โ€ he begins, voice hesitant, โ€œI need to ask youโ€ฆ about Steve.โ€
Your grip tightens on your mug.ย 
โ€œHave youโ€ฆhave you spoken to him?โ€ you try not to let your voice crack.ย 
โ€œSort of.โ€ Dustin exhales. โ€œThatโ€™s why Iโ€™m here. He didnโ€™t show up on Sunday when he was supposed to, and when I tried talking to Robin, she just told me to stay out of it.โ€ He rubs the back of his neck, looking troubled. โ€œIโ€™m worried. Robin says heโ€™s gonna quitโ€”his job, I meanโ€”and I havenโ€™t been able to get ahold of him since Thursday. I was hoping maybe you knew what was going on.โ€
You let out a shaky breath, tears pressing at the corners of your eyes again. The puzzle just kept getting more complicated, first his outburst, and now heโ€™s quitting? None of it made any sense to you.ย 
โ€œDustin, I wish I fucking knew what was going on,โ€ you admit, voice trembling. โ€œBut I donโ€™t. Steve made it very clear how he felt about me.โ€
Confusion crosses his face. โ€œHeโ€ฆmade it clear?โ€
โ€œMore or less.โ€ You manage a bitter laugh, though it hurts. โ€œLetโ€™s just sayโ€ฆthereโ€™s no chance of me diving back in to figure out whatโ€™s wrong, okay?โ€
โ€œYou wonโ€™t?โ€ he presses, leaning forward, his mug clutched between both hands. โ€œI know itโ€™s a lot. But the only time Iโ€™ve seen him act like this was whenโ€ฆโ€ He hesitates, almost like heโ€™s afraid to say something more.ย 
You speak before he has the chance to elaborate.ย 
โ€œYeah, wellโ€ฆโ€ You suck in a breath, blinking away fresh tears. โ€œIโ€™m pretty sure itโ€™s over between us.โ€
He sets his mug down so hard youโ€™re surprised it doesnโ€™t spill and scans your face, as if trying to analyse the best approach to this situation.ย 
โ€œI wouldnโ€™t be asking, exceptโ€ฆ Iโ€™m scared.โ€ His lower lip trembles, and suddenly you realise how much this is hurting him, too. โ€œHe never talks to anyone about how heโ€™s feeling. Not really. You were my last option.โ€ He swallows, looking away. โ€œWhenever I call and he hears itโ€™s me, he hangs up. Heโ€™s shutting me out. And Robin. Andโ€”everyone.โ€
Something tightens in your chest. You see Dustinโ€™s fear written all over his face, and it hits you how much he looks up to Steveโ€”how much he cares.ย 
Without thinking, you set your own mug aside and pull him into a hug. At first, heโ€™s stiff with surprise, but then he slumps against you, like the weight of this worry is too heavy for him to carry alone. You press your lips together, forcing the tears back as you hold him.ย 
โ€œOkay,โ€ you murmur, stroking his back. โ€œIโ€™ll try. Iโ€™m not making any promises, butโ€ฆIโ€™ll try.โ€
โ€œThank you,โ€ he says, relieved. โ€œThank you so much. I justโ€”I donโ€™t know how else to reach him.โ€
You nod, your throat still thick.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m not making any promises,โ€ you repeat, needing him to understand that youโ€™re as shaken as he is. โ€œBut Iโ€™ll figure something out.โ€
He offers you a small smile, picking up his mug again. You both take a few moments to sip your teaโ€”hot and soothing, but not nearly enough to un-knot the anxiety in your stomach. Still, Dustinโ€™s presence is oddly comforting; itโ€™s nice not to be alone in this, even if itโ€™s a teenager by your side.
โ€œSoโ€ฆโ€ You clear your throat, stealing a glance at him, gaining the courage to lighten the sullen mood. โ€œAre you gonna tell me how you know where I live?โ€
โ€œIโ€™ve seen Steve practically sprint here a bunch of times.โ€ A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. โ€œTook me about three tries before I got the right door.โ€
You let out a laugh, but then something clicks.ย 
โ€œWaitโ€”three tries?โ€
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Steve had never felt so low in his life. Five days holed up in his room, only sneaking out to the ensuite to splash water on his face or raid the kitchen for whatever snack he could grabโ€”mostly stale crisps and sodaโ€”before retreating back inside.ย 
The place was still a wreck, remnants of that explosive outburst he couldnโ€™t even remember starting. Not that it mattered, really; heโ€™d be getting kicked out in a few months, so why bother cleaning up?
Heโ€™d turned off the ringer a while ago, but the calls still came, filtering distantly through his phone on his bedside. Sometimes he picked up the receiver out of some faint, mechanical impulse, but he never spoke. Except once, to Robin.ย 
โ€™M not feeling so goodโ€ฆ might quit, but I dunno.
Heโ€™d mumbled it out, half-delirious, knowing sheโ€™d recognise the alarm in his voice. Sheโ€™d shown up at the door not long afterโ€”he could feel her worried presence behind the woodโ€”but he couldnโ€™t make himself stand, couldnโ€™t find the will to undo the lock and let her in. Plus, heโ€™d moved the key.ย 
She had her own life anyway, right?ย 
Her own happiness, her own girlfriend.
His body ached from lying in bed so long, muscles protesting every slight movement. His mind felt worse, drifting in a haze of guilt and regret so heavy that sometimes he wondered if he could even take another breath.ย 
He had no more tears left to cry, not after everything that went downโ€”especially with you. The memory of your faceโ€”that hurt, that fearโ€”was seared into his brain. Even when his eyes closed, he saw it.
Part of him wished you had stayed, just so he could apologise or explain orโ€ฆ something. But another part felt a grim sort of pride that you walked out. You deserved more than the pathetic shell heโ€™d become, and he knew it. Heโ€™d flung the ugliest parts of himself at you and he couldnโ€™t even figure out why.ย 
It felt like some twisted reflex, lashing out the moment heโ€™d felt cornered.
It stung especially hard because he remembered every time youโ€™d cried into his arms about your job or life in general, how heโ€™d held you close and never once used your own aspirations against you. Heโ€™d admired your driveโ€”even if it sometimes left him feeling insecure.ย 
So how had he ended up painting you as the villain for doing what you love?
Now, it all felt rotten inside him. He could see exactly how cruel his words had beenโ€”every insult sharpened by his own self-loathing. And there was no taking them back. Heโ€™d never understood before what it meant to watch someone you love crumble right in front of you and realise it was your own damn fault.ย 
It hollowed him out, left him lying in stale sheets, counting the cracks in the ceiling, wishing for the strength to rewind time.
But it was too late. And with each hour that passed in that cramped, messy room, he felt himself caring less about fixing anythingโ€”less about everything. Because when he closed his eyes, you were always there, the memory of your wounded gaze burning behind his eyelids.ย 
And he didnโ€™t think he deserved a way out of it.
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The moment you pull into the driveway, your hands grip the steering wheel with white-knuckles. You canโ€™t shake the memory of your last conversationโ€”if it even counts as a conversation.ย 
Part of you wants to slam your car into reverse and leave Steve to his own devices. He hurt you, humiliated you, and you havenโ€™t forgiven him. But you made a promise, if not to him, then to Dustin. The kid all but worships him, and someone has to check on Steve.
Seems like you were the logical option here.ย 
So you climb out and make your way to the front porch, heart pounding with each step. The absence of his parentsโ€™ car in the driveway tells you theyโ€™re gone; the Harrington house is eerily still. You knock, loud and firm, each rap echoing in the silence.
No answer.
A chill snakes up your spine as you bend down to lift the matโ€”nothing. You bite down on your lip, anxiety churning. But then you notice the pot beside the door. You reach in, fingertips brushing over cold metal, and pull out the key. You feel bitter that this is the thing he decides to listen to.ย 
Stepping inside feels like walking into a tomb. The air is dank, a smell of something musty that makes your nose wrinkle. You notice the coffee table, still shoved askew from wherever heโ€™d kicked it last time.ย 
A glimpse of the kitchen stops you in your tracks. The muffins he must have finished are perched on the counter, days old now, untouched. They look sad, deflated. You canโ€™t decide if youโ€™re more confused or hurt by that. Mail lies in a messy pile on the table, corners curled, unopened envelopes scattered. Itโ€™s like the whole house has been abandoned.
Each step up the staircase feels heavier. Despite the countless hours youโ€™ve spent hereโ€”movie nights, lazy mornings, heated make-out sessions on the couchโ€”it all feels foreign now. Wrong. The hallway is silent, the lights dim. The air clings to your skin, intensifying the sense that you shouldnโ€™t be here.
You notice his bedroom door, slightly ajar. You pause, trying to calm the growing panic in your chest.ย 
You didnโ€™t come to intrude. You just needed to make sure heโ€™s alive.ย 
But a quick glance through the gap reveals a sight that stops your breath short. Clothes strewn everywhere, books and tapes littering the floor, a desk chair toppled on its side. The place looks destroyed.ย 
Not in a casual, messy wayโ€”this is carnage.
You push the door open, and the state of the room hits you like a punch to the gut. This isnโ€™t just sloppy. Itโ€™s the aftermath of something far darker. A breakdown. And there, at the center of the chaos, is Steveโ€”sprawled on his bed like a shadow of the person you once knew.
He stirs at the creak of the door, blinking groggily. When his gaze lands on you, his face pales even more, if thatโ€™s possible. He looks so different, like a ghost wearing his skin. His cheeks are hollow, hair unkempt, eyes ringed with shadows.ย 
He doesnโ€™t speakโ€”just stares, wide-eyed and stricken, as if he canโ€™t believe youโ€™re really standing there.
Anger simmers beneath your ribs, fighting with a rush of pity so strong it nearly chokes you. Youโ€™re furious with him, furious for how he treated you, but the sight of him like thisโ€”broken, listlessโ€”makes your stomach lurch.ย 
No one deserves this.
You snap into problem-solving mode. No words, just action.ย 
You stride to the window and yank it open, letting a sharp gust of air sweep into the stale room. Behind you, Steve finally rouses enough to realise what is happening, but you cut him off by walking past him, heading into the bathroom.
The pipes groan as you turn the faucet. Steam fills the air, and you test the temperature with your fingers. Your mind runs on autopilot:ย 
Get him up.ย 
Get him clean.ย 
Breathe some life back into him.
When you return, heโ€™s half-upright in bed, blinking in confusion. You hold out a hand, expression set in stone. For a moment, he just stares.
โ€œCome on,โ€ you say, your voice quieter than you intended, but firm. He looks at your outstretched hand like he isnโ€™t sure what it means.ย 
You try again, gentler.
โ€œSteveโ€ฆ letโ€™s go.โ€
Slowly, he sets his feet on the floor, wincing at the effort. You guide him toward the bathroom, every step feeling like treading on eggshellsโ€”somehow both intimately familiar and gut-wrenchingly new.ย 
You still hate what he said, what he didโ€”but seeing him like this, you hate the situation more.
No words pass between you as you ease him toward the tub, your body moving on memory. Your gaze flicks over his clothesโ€”so easy to remove in moments of warmth and laughter, but now the act feels unnatural.
You pause, fingertips brushing the edge of his shirt, and look up into his sunken eyes for permission. His nod is barely there, just the smallest tilt of his head, but you accept it.
Stripping off his clothes feels like undressing a corpse; his limbs move sluggishly, offering no resistance. You gather his T-shirt and jeans, tossing them aside on the sink, your stomach twisting at how distant he feels in your presence. By the time heโ€™s left in nothing but his underwear, you can hardly meet his gaze.
โ€œYou got it from here?โ€ you ask unsure.
He nods again, a weak gesture that does nothing to reassure you. You scoop up the discarded clothes, slip out of the bathroom, and softly shut the door behind you.
Outside, his room looks just as you left itโ€”an absolute wreck, the fallout of some internal war. Despite the roil of anger and pain under your skin, something in you is set on fixing whatever can be fixed.
So, you get to work.
You gather wrappers and empty bottles, muttering under your breath as you fling them into the bin. Next, you scoop up the random VHS tapes littering the floor, shoving them onto the shelf in a messy row.ย 
He can reorganise later if he wants to. Not your problem.
The clothes get tossed into a laundry basket, clean or notโ€”it doesnโ€™t matter anymore. You strip the bed, sheets and blankets in one swoop, hauling it all downstairs and stuffing it into the washing machine along with the rubbish.ย 
You donโ€™t even know why youโ€™re doing this, not when your own place is a disaster. But each step feels necessary in a house thatโ€™s clearly falling apart from the inside out.
In just under half an hour, youโ€™ve turned the carnage into something that resembles a house againโ€”no longer a battlefield. Even got rid of the stale baked goods in the kitchen.ย 
Your heart thumps in your chest as you head back upstairs, nerves jangling when you hear water draining from the tub. You catch sight of his half-open drawers and rummage for something softโ€”a pair of old joggers, an oversized sweatshirt.
At the bathroom door, you knock lightly before pushing it open just enough to slip inside. Steam clings to the tiled walls, but the sight of him makes your chest tighten. The towel wrapped around his waist might hide him as he brushes his teeth, but you can see the exhaustion carved into every line of his shoulders.ย 
Even clean, he looks terrible. Empty.
He notices the clothes in your arms, glances between them and your face, then finally takes them from you without a word, toothbrush hanging awkwardly out his mouth.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ll be outside when youโ€™re ready,โ€ you say softly.ย 
Itโ€™s the only explanation you can offer before turning on your heel, escaping the suffocating press of sadness that fills the bathroom.ย 
He emerges, hair damp and curling at the ends, wearing the sweats you picked out. He looks like heโ€™s expecting a lectureโ€”or worseโ€”and some part of you canโ€™t help but want to give it to him.ย 
After all, he hurt you. Yet the sight of him, freshly washed but still sunken-eyed, strips away most of your anger, leaving something more complicated in its place.
He glances at the newly cleaned space.ย 
โ€œYouโ€ฆ you didnโ€™t have to do that,โ€ he mutters, voice scratchy. He wonโ€™t meet your eyes.
โ€œI know,โ€ you shrug, your tone clipped. โ€œI wasnโ€™t planning on it.โ€
He swallows, nodding once.ย 
โ€œOkay.โ€
Silence.ย 
He moves to sit on the far edge of the mattress, opposite you, as if heโ€™s afraid to cross an invisible boundary. You can feel the tension stretching between youโ€”a chasm carved out by wounded pride.
โ€œAre you seriously not going to talk?โ€ you finally bite out, the frustration tightening your chest.
He flinches, as though your voice itself is too sharp.ย 
โ€œI-I donโ€™t know what to say,โ€ he admits.
โ€œA โ€˜sorryโ€™ would be nice,โ€ you snap, though your anger is already warring with pity. He looks so frail.
โ€œIโ€™mโ€ฆ sorry.โ€ He ducks his head, hair falling into his eyes.ย 
A beat passes, and you feel your patience fray.ย 
โ€œGreat.โ€ You swing your legs off the bed. โ€œIf thatโ€™s all Iโ€™m getting, Iโ€™m leaving.โ€
โ€œWait.โ€ His voice cuts through the air, urgent and tremulous. โ€œNoโ€”please. Donโ€™t. Justโ€”โ€
You pause, catch a glimpse of his face, and see raw panic etched into every line of it. With a sigh, you sink back onto the bed, crossing your arms.
His relief is almost palpable, but itโ€™s quickly replaced by shaky breaths. His hands tremble, and he canโ€™t seem to keep them still on his knees. Panic floods his features, twisting them into something agonised.
โ€œSteve,โ€ you say quietly. Heโ€™s on the verge of hyperventilating, chest rising and falling in uneven bursts.
โ€œIโ€”I canโ€™tโ€”โ€ he stammers, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. โ€œI justโ€”fuck, Iโ€™m sorry, Iโ€”โ€
You shift toward him without thinking, placing a hand on his quaking shoulder.ย 
โ€œShhh, hey, itโ€™s okay,โ€ you murmur, gentling your voice. โ€œJust breathe. Start from the beginning, okay? Weโ€™ll work from there.โ€
His eyes flicker up to yours, haunted and glassy. The weight of everything unspoken hangs between you: all the damage heโ€™s done, all the nights you spent upset and alone, all the ways you once trusted him.
You canโ€™t forgive himโ€”not yet. But you canโ€™t leave him like this either.
โ€œPlease?โ€ you add, your own voice betraying a shaky undercurrent of worry. โ€œJustโ€ฆ talk to me.โ€
Like you once did.
He takes a ragged breath and nods, swallowing hard. His hands cling to the bare duvet as though itโ€™s a lifeline.ย 
You wait as he struggles to form the right words. And he triesโ€”is tryingโ€”lips parting and closing in fits and starts, heart pounding so loud you can almost hear it.ย 
โ€œIโ€™mโ€”Iโ€™m so sorry,โ€ he says, voice ragged. โ€œNever shouldโ€™ve spoken to you like that. Iโ€”I donโ€™t even know where it came from.โ€
โ€œIt clearly came from somewhere, Steve. But weโ€™re not talking about us right now.โ€ You quietly shake your head, eyes fixed on him. โ€œWeโ€™re talking about you.โ€
He exhales, shoulders slumping as he stares down at his unsteady hands.ย 
โ€œOkay,โ€ he whispers, โ€œyeah. Okay.โ€ A deep breath. A hesitant glance at your face. Then, almost in a flood, the words come out once more.
โ€œMy dadโ€ฆ my dad got in my head. T-told me I was nothing, a disappointmentโ€”couldnโ€™t even bear the thought of me.โ€ His voice quivers, and he squeezes his eyes shut like heโ€™s trying to block out the memory. โ€œI justโ€”I donโ€™t know howโ€”donโ€™t even know who I am anymore. He justโ€”just looked at me, like I wasnโ€™t even worth the conversation.โ€
Your heart twists, but you donโ€™t speakโ€”just let him continue.
He scrubs his hand over his face, eyes flicking to the doorway as though someone might burst in at any moment.ย 
โ€œI was going to come see you on Friday, I swearโ€”you have to believe me, angelโ€”I really was. But he caught me on the way out, andโ€ฆโ€ His breath hitches, panic threading through his words. โ€œHe was just confirming what I already thoughtโ€”whatโ€™s already true. That Iโ€™m a fucking failure.โ€
He presses a palm to his chest, as if trying to steady his heartbeat.ย 
โ€œAnd I know that,โ€ he says, voice shaky. โ€œI know Iโ€™m nothing special. And in that moment, I justโ€” I wanted someone to feel what I feltโ€”evenโ€ฆeven you.โ€
You swallow, stunned by how raw and desperate he sounds. Even in your worst nightmares, you never imagined him this broken.
โ€œI know itโ€™s not fairโ€”but Iโ€™ve seen this story before. Youโ€™ll get bored of meโ€”I know you will.โ€ He glances up at you, eyes pleading for understanding. โ€œYou say you wonโ€™t, but you will. And Iโ€™m sorryโ€”so fucking sorry. You have to believe me. I never meant to be mean to you orโ€”or scare you.โ€ His mouth twists in self-disgust. โ€œGodโ€”I canโ€™t believe I made you feel that wayโ€ฆ Like you were ever unsafe with me.โ€
You reach out, gently placing your hand on his arm, and he flinchesโ€”more out of self-loathing than fear.ย 
โ€œHey,โ€ you say, your voice soft, but firm, โ€œBreathe for me, okay?โ€
A shuddering exhale racks him, and he bows his head, eyes squeezed shut. For a moment, you think he might push you awayโ€”tell you not to touch him, that he doesnโ€™t deserve it. But the words never come.ย 
Instead, he stands there, quietly shaking under your hand, a broken boy whoโ€™s convinced himself he canโ€™t be saved.
Your chest feels like itโ€™s caving in at the sight of himโ€”at the guilt, at the rawness, at how heโ€™s clinging to these warped ideas of his own worthlessness.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know how to fix this.โ€ He keeps going, voice splintering as he tries to get it all out before he loses his nerve. โ€œThereโ€™s no fixing thisโ€”Iโ€™ve got three months.โ€
โ€œThree months?โ€
โ€œHeโ€™s kicking me outโ€ฆ basicallyโ€”my dad. If I donโ€™t get my shit together, Iโ€™m done here.โ€ His breath comes in ragged gulps, the admission shaking him. โ€œAnd I knowโ€”God, I know this is so unfair. So fucking unfair on you, sweetheart. Iโ€™m sorry you got caught in the crossfire. I never shouldโ€™veโ€”โ€ His voice breaks, and he drags a hand across his mouth. โ€œNever shouldโ€™ve asked you out that day you came into the storeโ€”never shouldโ€™ve done this to you.โ€
You want to protest, to tell him heโ€™s talking nonsenseโ€”but your words get stuck behind the wave of memories that crash over you from all those months ago.ย 
That first day, his dorky smile lighting up the entire shop. The way he nearly jumped out of his skin when you said yes to hanging out. Building that bookshelf together in your living room, both of you laughing as he insisted he didnโ€™t need your assistance.ย 
The time he showed up at your door unannounced because he just sensed something was wrong. Showing you off to all of his friends. All that progress, all those private jokes, all that slow, deliberate peeling back of each otherโ€™s layersโ€”cut to ribbons by a single nightโ€™s outburst.
Now, here he is. Tears still clinging to his lashes, voice choked with regrets. The ache in your chest flares hotโ€”hurt and a fierce tenderness all mingled into one.ย 
You couldnโ€™t bear it any longer.ย 
You slide closer without a word, pulling him into your arms, and he clings to you. Trembling so violently itโ€™s like he might shatter if you let go. His breaths come in spurts, each exhale sending a tremor through his body. You press your forehead to his shoulder, eyes burning.ย 
โ€œSteve?โ€ you ask softly after a minute, voice muffled against his sweatshirt.
His head lifts, eyes rimmed in red. โ€œYeah?โ€
You hesitate, brushing the hair off his clammy forehead.ย 
โ€œHave you eaten?โ€
โ€œUh, no?โ€ His brow furrows. โ€œThatโ€™s not reallyโ€”why are you asking?โ€
You pull back just enough to fully meet his gaze, then lean in, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips. He freezes, almost like he doesnโ€™t believe what youโ€™ve done is real.
He doesnโ€™t question it, just grateful that it means youโ€™re not leaving him alone. He wonโ€™t read too much into it now, doesnโ€™t want to assume that youโ€™re here for good.ย ย 
โ€œBecause,โ€ you say, โ€œweโ€™re gonna go downstairs and make something to eat.โ€ Your voice is calm, like talking to a scared child. โ€œAnd then weโ€™re going to figure out what to do.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re staying?โ€ He stares at you, confusion and hope warring in his eyes. โ€œButโ€”why?โ€
โ€œBecause, Steve,โ€ you murmur, the corners of your mouth twitching in a sad smile. โ€œYou said it yourself. Iโ€™m independent.โ€ You pause as you cup his jaw, running a thumb over his cheek as you gaze up at him. โ€œAnd youโ€™re going to learn how to be, too.โ€
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He sits at the kitchen table, eyes fixed on the way you move around in front of the stove. If he blinks just right, he can almost pretend itโ€™s a normal dayโ€”just you and him, making an impromptu meal after a long shift.ย 
He watches you crack eggs into a pan, stifling a sigh when you scrape the shells into the trash. Youโ€™d hoped for something more elaborate, but the fridge was nearly emptyโ€”most of the produce spoiled. He curses himself silently for not taking care of it.
A pang of guilt floods him, prompting him to stand, to do something. He goes to the cupboard, rummages around until he finds the familiar box of tea bags you keep here for yourself. He lifts a mug, glances back at you.ย 
โ€œTea alright?โ€ย 
You shoot him a quick look over your shoulder and nod.ย 
โ€œYeah. Teaโ€™s good.โ€
So he gets to work, carefully measuring out just enough hot water, placing a teabag in each mug. He adds a bit of sugar and a splash of milk to yours.ย 
Just how you like it.ย 
When he turns back around, youโ€™re already plating the eggsโ€”fried sunny side up, edges crisp and a little burned around the rimโ€”along with a couple of slices of toast.
Just how he likes it.ย 
The two of you sit down across from each other at the table. The clink of cutlery against plates sounds almost unbearably loud in the silence. For a moment, neither of you speaks. You watch him push at the meal with his fork, taking tentative bites at first. Then something shifts. He goes from nibbling to devouring the entire plate in a matter of moments, like a man who hasnโ€™t seen food in days.
A pang grips your stomach. Clearly, he hasnโ€™t had anything decent to eat in a while. You slide your plate toward him. He gives a shaky protest.ย 
โ€œNo, Iโ€™m good.โ€ย 
But you shake your head.
โ€œI already ate,โ€ you tell him gently. โ€œNot really hungry. Please, eat.โ€
He studies your face, then seems to accept it, nodding slowly. Within seconds, heโ€™s finishing off your portion, too. You sip your tea, quietly reeling at how hollow his cheeks look, the bones more pronounced than you remember.
When the food is gone, he rubs his hand over his face and slumps back in his seat.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re not at work?โ€ he asks, voice low.
You exhale a thin breath. โ€œIโ€ฆ took the week off.โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œYeah, well,โ€ you say, trying and failing to sound nonchalant, โ€œI was kind of upset. Didnโ€™t want to hide in the red room if I needed a cry.โ€
Remorse surges in his eyes, and he ducks his head.ย 
โ€œSweetheartโ€ฆ I know it doesnโ€™t make up for anything I did, but from the bottom of my heart, Iโ€™m sorry.โ€
โ€œSteve,โ€ you begin, voice trembling slightly, โ€œitโ€™s fine. Weโ€™re focusing on you right nowโ€”โ€
He shakes his head, cutting you off.
โ€œI know, and thatโ€™s important. But thereโ€™s something I gotta ask...โ€ He presses his palms to the table, steadying himself. โ€œWhat I did was unforgivable. If weโ€™re overโ€”if you canโ€™t do this anymoreโ€”tell me. I justโ€”I need to know.โ€
Your heart lurches; the raw plea in his voice stabs at you.ย 
โ€œSteveโ€”โ€
He lifts a hand, begging you to let him finish.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t care if youโ€”if you need space, or if you donโ€™t want to see me for a while. I get that. I justโ€ฆ I need to know that I still have a chance. That once I figure this shit outโ€”I havenโ€™tโ€”havenโ€™t lost you completely.โ€
You swallow hard. The weight of his gaze feels almost too much to bear, but thereโ€™s no hesitation in your reply.ย 
โ€œYou havenโ€™t lost me.โ€ Your voice softens. โ€œI....I love you too much.โ€
His face crumples with relief, a choked exhale leaving his lips. You reach out, tentatively resting your hand on his, and for a moment, the two of you stay like thatโ€”clinging to the thin thread of hope that still binds you together.
Finally, you clear your throat, pulling your hand away.
โ€œSo,โ€ you say, steadying yourself, โ€œwe need to figure out what youโ€™re going to do. Are you sure your dad will kick you out?โ€
โ€œYeah. He will.โ€ His mouth twists into a grimace. โ€œHeโ€™s an asshole, but he doesnโ€™t lie. He cut me off already when I didnโ€™t go to collegeโ€”he follows through on every threat.โ€
โ€œOkay. So what about renting? You make enough to cover it, right?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m pretty sure I do, but thereโ€™s hardly anything on the market. And what there isโ€ฆโ€ He trails off, leaving the rest unsaid.ย 
You know all too well how soul-crushing it can be to search for a decent place in Hawkins. It took you months to find yours.
โ€œYeah,โ€ you whisper, nodding, โ€œI know.โ€
A hush settles between you, the quiet palpable, almost electric. He fiddles with his empty plate, pushing around the leftover crumbs with his fork, while you stare at him, mind churning over possibilities.ย 
Then a single thought sparksโ€”a ridiculous, terrifying idea that sets your heart pounding.
โ€œSteve?โ€ you say softly, and his eyes lock with yours. โ€œIโ€ฆ I might have an idea.โ€
His eyes scan your face, searching for any hint of hesitation. And then, suddenly, it all clicks into place for him.ย 
No.ย 
There is no way youโ€™re suggesting that. Itโ€™s absurd. Itโ€™s idiotic. Itโ€™s not even something heโ€™d ever let himself consider.
โ€œNo,โ€ he rasps almost immediately, shaking his head. โ€œNo, angel, I canโ€™tโ€”I canโ€™t do that. Are you serious? Thatโ€™s yoursโ€”not mine. I canโ€™t justโ€”whatever youโ€™reโ€”I mean, after what I said? After what I did to you?โ€
Finally, you see what youโ€™ve been searching for all weekโ€”you see your Steve.ย 
The Steve youโ€™ve always known. The one who never wants to impose, who refuses to be a burden, who wonโ€™t ask for more even when he desperately needs it. The remorse in his eyes is painful, and it only solidifies your decision.
This is your boyfriend, Steve. And God, if it meant keeping this version of himโ€”the one you cherish, the one you loveโ€”youโ€™d let him stay with you forever.
โ€œThis is my offer,โ€ you say. โ€œIโ€™m offering it to you. If you want to treat it like a last resort, thatโ€™s fine. Butโ€ฆโ€ Your throat bobs with emotion as you draw in a shaky breath. โ€œI really, really want to wake up with you every day. Split the rent. If your dadโ€™s so concerned about your future, why donโ€™t you make one? One youโ€™re actually proud of... One with me.โ€
He blinks, tears shimmering in his eyes, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths as he struggles to compute what youโ€™re sayingย 
Youโ€™re insane for doing this.ย 
In his eyes, at least. Youโ€™re supposed to be the smart oneโ€”the one who thinks things through, who knows better. And this? This is the furthest thing from a smart move.
But he sees itโ€”the way your eyes shine with conviction, how your expression doesnโ€™t waver, how every fiber of your being is offering this to him, fully and completely.ย 
Youโ€™re not lying.ย 
He knows when you are. And this?ย 
This is real.
โ€œYouโ€ฆ You really mean that?โ€ His voice trembles, and the raw hope shining through makes your heart twist.
You nod, eyes glistening with your own tears.ย 
โ€œYes. I really mean that. Iโ€™m ready to do thisโ€”seriously.โ€
A choked sound escapes him, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. His body aches with the need to have you near him.ย 
โ€œCome here,โ€ he whispers, voice cracking. โ€œCome over here, please?โ€
You push your chair back, crossing the short distance in two steps. The moment youโ€™re within reach, he pulls you onto his lap, arms locking around your waist like heโ€™s afraid youโ€™ll disappear.ย 
His hands come up to brush the hair away from your face, the gentleness almost undoing you. Then his lips meet yours in a lingering kiss. It tastes like promises and second chances, and he pours every ounce of relief, every fragment of devotion into it.
โ€œYouโ€™re not gonna regret this,โ€ he murmurs between soft presses of his lips, voice thick with emotion. โ€œSwear on my life, Iโ€™m gonna spend every single day showing you how much you mean to me. Youโ€™ll neverโ€”ever have to worry about anything again, long as Iโ€™m around. You know that?โ€ He kisses your jaw, your cheek, your temple, like he canโ€™t get enough. โ€œYouโ€™re an angelโ€”call you that all the time, I know, but you have to understand I mean itโ€”fully. Youโ€™re a godsendโ€”straight from fucking heaven.โ€
You feel your heart swell, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. A little laugh slips outโ€”half joy, half disbelieving reliefโ€”while you bury your face in his neck, letting him cling to you as if letting go might shatter the fragile moment.
Eventually, you have to pull back, your lips still tingling from his.ย 
He inhales shakily, a new determination igniting behind his tired eyes. A tear slips down his cheek, but he doesnโ€™t look away.ย 
He couldnโ€™t.ย 
Even if he wanted to.
Because this girlโ€”this stupid, stubborn, impossibly insane girl in his lapโ€”has just given him the one thing he never thought heโ€™d have.ย 
Salvation.ย 
A way out.ย A chance to live his lifeโ€”not the one dictated by his father, not the one shaped by expectations he could never meet, but his life. The way heโ€™s dreamed about since leaving high school.
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Itโ€™s been a few days since that heart-to-heartโ€”since all the raw emotions and apologies spilled out and brought you two back together. You find yourself trudging up the stairs to your flat, a small duffle bag clenched in your hand.ย 
Itโ€™s not your bag. Itโ€™s Steveโ€™s.ย 
He insisted on carrying the heavier stuff, so heโ€™s right behind you with a large cardboard box balanced carefully in his arms. He keeps throwing concerned glances your way, reminding you not to overdo it, especially after the whirlwind you both survived these past few days.
When you offered him your placeโ€”opened the door to your home, and more importantly, to your future together. It felt cathartic at the time, but neither of you were naive enough to think it would be easy. Later that same day, the two of you ended up at his dining table, drafting a meticulous list: bills, rent, utilities, a hundred different phone calls youโ€™d need to make to set everything up.ย 
You were both determined to do it right. He kept emphasising that heโ€™d pull his weight, that heโ€™d take on more than his share if it meant showing you how committed he was. The idea of this new life with him thrilled and terrified youโ€”but mostly, it filled your chest with a heat you could hardly articulate.
Hours passed, and by ten at night, you were rubbing at your eyes, complaining of a headache from all the numbers and paperwork. He looked at you, concern shadowing his features. Heโ€™d noticed your exhaustion well before you said anything and felt guilty for letting you push yourself so far. Relenting, he agreed that you both needed to step away and breathe.
That night, you slept at his place, and the sensation was immediately familiarโ€”like returning home. Wearing his old Hawkins Phys Ed shirt, you crawled under the covers and felt his arms circle around you. He held you so gently, like he was afraid you might slip through his fingers. You could feel his shaky exhale against your hair as he tried not to tear up, clearly thinking about how damn lucky he was.
Even after you drifted off, he found he couldnโ€™t sleep. Not with the guilt still gnawing at him, not when the knowledge of how heโ€™d hurt you weighed on his mind.
Call it self-inflicted punishment or penance, but he carefully slipped out from under your arm, doing his best not to stir you.ย 
With measured steps, he made his way back downstairs, returning to the scattered papers on the table. He picked up the old calculator he thought heโ€™d never use again, muttering every sum under his breath. Even though it was late, the methodical tap of buttons and scribble of pencil across paper soothed him.
Each calculation that confirmed a real, shared future gave him the momentum to keep going, no matter how sleep-deprived he felt. Some of the equations he did twice, not wanting any part of this to be left up to chance.ย 
When you woke up sometime later, you realised the bed was still cold on his side. Anxiety prickled through you as you called his name into the darkness, flipping on the lamp to peer through the dimly lit bedroom. The quiet of the house led you downstairs, where you found him hunched over the table, eyes rimmed red from strain, pencil in hand.ย 
He didnโ€™t even notice you right away, so lost in thoughtโ€”tallying numbers, crossing them out, re-checking them. Your heart melted at the sight of his serious expression, that little line between his brows telling you just how deep in concentration he was.
Padding across the floor, you stepped into his line of vision. He glanced up at you, and the softness in his eyes nearly made your breath catch. Leaning back in the chair, he waitedโ€”almost timidโ€”until you climbed right into his lap. His arms came around you instantly, hugging you like he was grounding himself in your warmth.
โ€œShould be sleeping, sweetheart,โ€ he murmured, voice husky with fatigue. โ€œSโ€™almost two.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re not in bed.โ€ You told him in a drowsy mumble as you burrowed yourself further into his chest.
โ€œCouldnโ€™t sleep,โ€ he admitted softly. โ€œThought Iโ€™d finish what we started. Want to make sure all of this works out.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not going anywhere,โ€ you gave a small shake of your head.
It was true. All these papers and logistics would still be there tomorrow. There was a movement in his eyes but he still wasnโ€™t quite ready to give it up. Wanted to be absolutely sure he wasnโ€™t going to lose this too.ย 
โ€œPlease?โ€ You pleaded, brushing your fingers against his cheek. โ€œWanted to sleep with you... Havenโ€™t had the chance all week.โ€
At that, he broke. His expression gentled as he brushed a few stray hairs out of your face.ย 
โ€œOkay,โ€ he whispered, like he was surrendering to something bigger than both of you. โ€œYeah, okay. Come on.โ€
You led him quietly back upstairs, exhaustion weighing down both your limbs. The moment you slipped under the blankets and into his arms, you felt a warmth settle through your bones. He held you close, and you could sense his heart thudding in his chest as he finally let himself relax.ย 
Within minutes, he was drifting off.ย 
That was four days ago. Now, everythingโ€™s officialโ€”all the logistics sorted, all the phone calls made. You stand in your bedroom, setting his duffle bag in the corner of your room. Behind you, he carefully places a large box on top of the dresser. When you turn, he meets you with a soft, lopsided grin that crinkles the edges of his eyes.
โ€œIs that it?โ€ he asks.
You cross your arms over your chest and nod slowly, taking in the modest stacks of his belongings that are now scattered around your bedroom.ย 
โ€œThought you had more stuff than this,โ€ you say, frowning.ย 
โ€œI decided to get rid of a few things.โ€ He shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. โ€œNew start and all that.โ€
โ€œYou threw them away?โ€ You scowl in mock indignation. โ€œInstead of giving them to me?โ€
He chuckles, stepping closer to hook an arm around your waist.ย 
โ€œSweetheart,โ€ he lets out a low chuckle, nudging your chin with a gentle finger. โ€œYou now have full access to my entire wardrobe, and youโ€™re complaining?โ€
โ€œHmmm.โ€ You pout as he leans in, you let him kiss youโ€”warm and tender. When you finally break away, you clear your throat. โ€œDid you call Keith?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ he replies, running a hand through his hair. โ€œGot my job backโ€”already squared things away about my time off. Robin forgave me for being a complete idiot, and Dustin too.โ€
Heโ€™s got a second chance, and heโ€™s not going to blow it.
When you told him how Dustin had turned to you for help, you saw the panic ignite in his eyes againโ€”fear that heโ€™d let everyone down, especially the kid who looked up to him like a brother.ย 
So youโ€™d forced him into the passenger seat, driven to Dustinโ€™s house, and watched from the window as Steve hesitated on the porch before finally knocking.
You werenโ€™t sure what was said in that living roomโ€”he spent an hour in there. You do know that, by the time you joined them, Dustin had tears in his eyes, but they were happy tears. And Steve looked lighter. Like heโ€™d scraped the burden off his shoulders and left it on the welcome mat.ย 
The three of you ended up sprawled in Dustinโ€™s living room, eating too many slices of pizza, and watching a random comedy on TV. By the time you left, your heart felt a little sturdier.
No more tantrums. No more breakdowns.
Youโ€™d believed him too, especially with how his eyes shone with fresh resolve.
โ€œI, uh, moved some of my stuff around in the bedroom,โ€ you tell him. โ€œHad a few spare drawers or whateverโ€”youโ€™ve got the bottom two, and thereโ€™s some free hangers in the wardrobe.โ€
His eyes flick to the space youโ€™ve made for him, you catch the gratefulness that softens his entire expression. He looks at you like he still canโ€™t believe this is realโ€”that heโ€™s here, that you made room for him. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a slow kiss, his lips lingering on yours.
When it ends, he presses his forehead to yours, murmuring a playful โ€œthank you.โ€ But before you can reply, the gentle press of his mouth becomes more insistent. His hands shift to cradle your jaw, and you melt into him as the kiss deepensโ€”hungry, a little desperate.
โ€œSteve,โ€ you mumble, pulling back just enough to speak, though his lips still ghost over yours. โ€œWe need to unpackโ€ฆโ€
He hums, not letting you stray far.ย 
โ€œWe can unpack later,โ€ he murmurs. โ€œGot all the time in the world.โ€
You want to roll your eyes at the cheesy line, but the way heโ€™s looking at youโ€”like youโ€™re the only thing in the universe that mattersโ€”makes your heart ache. When he dips his head to nip gently at your neck, you let out a breathy laugh, your hands coming up to clutch his shoulders. In one swift move, he lifts you onto the bed, settling you against the pillows.
Your pulse skitters in your chest as he looms over you, his warm, steady gaze sweeping across your face.ย 
โ€œCan I?โ€ he asks, voice hushed. โ€œWanna say thank you properlyโ€”wanna make you feel good.โ€
A little huff slips past your lips, your cheeks hot. Heโ€™s ridiculously sweet, and he knows it. He sees you hesitate for half a second, so he leans in, pressing a series of gentle, coaxing kisses along your jaw, his hands finding purchase at your hips.ย 
โ€œPlease?โ€ he murmurs, breath fanning against your skin. โ€œWanna take care of you. You gonna let me, angel?โ€
His thumbs begin to knead soft circles into your sides, and you feel your heart skipping a beatโ€”or maybe five. You tug him closer, inhaling the comforting scent of his shirt as your arms loop around his shoulders, deciding then and there youโ€™ll never get enough of him.
You blink up at him, heat already flushing across your cheeks. The second you mumble your agreementโ€”โ€œYeah, all right. Okay.โ€โ€”his face lights up with a grin so bright it makes your stomach flip.ย 
He leans in, giving you a quick kiss before pulling back to yank off his shirt. The muscles in his arms and chest shift, and you canโ€™t help the way your eyes trail over his skin. Your own shirt follows suit as well as your bra, stripped away and tossed onto the floor, and then heโ€™s on you againโ€”breath warm and urgent against your mouth, hands skimming over your bare sides.
Heโ€™s nipping gently at your bottom lip, then your jaw, and you feel that fevered press of his body. Each touch says he needs this. Each breathless kiss says heโ€™s missed you.
โ€œWanted to do this all week,โ€ he murmurs, voice raw with relief. โ€œCanโ€™t believe you chose me, sweetheartโ€”I meanโ€”couldโ€™ve had anyone.โ€
Your heart clenches at the genuine wonder in his tone. You cradle the back of his neck, pulling him down for another firm kiss.ย 
โ€œI want you,โ€ you say, voice catching on the words. โ€œOnly you.โ€
He groans, pressing his forehead to yours, eyes falling shut as though your confession alone is enough to undo him.ย 
โ€œOh yeah?โ€ he breathes, the corners of his mouth curving into a smirk. โ€œWell, I gotta show you how grateful I am, then. Gonna make you see stars, baby. You deserve itโ€”so fucking beautiful.โ€
Heat crawls up your face, and you instinctively try to duck your head, flustered by his praise. He catches the motion, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest.ย 
โ€œOh? You getting shy on me?โ€
โ€œN-noโ€ฆโ€ you protest, but it comes out smaller than you intended.
โ€œThat sounds like a โ€˜yes.โ€™โ€ His voice is teasing as his fingers hook into the waistband of your pants. Before you can work up a witty retort, your trousers and underwear are slipped down and off, leaving you bare. His gaze darkens appreciatively. โ€œYou donโ€™t like it when I say nice things?โ€
You shake your head, but the denial dissolves the moment his hand slides between your thighs. Calloused fingertips brush against your slick skin, and the breath escapes you in a shaky exhale. His responding chuckle warms your ear.ย 
โ€œOh, baby, I think you're lyingโ€”just look at you.โ€
A mortified whimper bubbles outโ€”though your body clearly isnโ€™t complaining. Itโ€™s a mess of conflicting emotions: the embarrassment of his unabashed words and the molten desire pooling low in your belly.
โ€œItโ€™sโ€”itโ€™s embarrassing when you talk like that,โ€ you manage to squeak, squirming under his touch.
โ€œEmbarrassing?โ€ he echoes, sounding far too amused. He presses his hand more firmly, and a moan slips out of you, your thighs quivering at the sensation. โ€œCanโ€™t have that,โ€ he murmurs, dipping his head to kiss down your neck. โ€œWas so mean to you, angelโ€”donโ€™t deserve you.โ€ Another slow swirl of his fingers has you arching up. โ€œGotta make it rightโ€”sโ€™only fair.โ€
You part your lips to respond, but all that comes out is a broken, breathy sound. The rhythmic press of his hand is driving coherent thought right out of your head. He watches you, clearly reveling in how easily he can undo you.
โ€œYouโ€™re dripping, sweetheart,โ€ he drawls, voice dropping to a low hum. โ€œYou sure you donโ€™t like it when I tell you how pretty you are? How perfect you are for me?โ€
You give a pitiful whine, your cheeks practically on fire. It only seems to spur him on, his fingertips slick as they work you open. Each thrust of his hand feels so sinfully good that you canโ€™t tell if you want him to keep talking or just shut up and kiss you senseless.
Steve was always all sweet words and gentle smiles in bed, but this was different. He was savouring you, getting off on calling you namesโ€”not the degrading kind, but the ones that made your stomach twist and your throat tighten.
His cocky little grin flashes again.ย 
โ€œAw, baby, youโ€™re so sensitive.โ€ He leans in, brushing his mouth against your ear.ย 
You let your eyes fall shut, surrendering to the flurry of sensation heโ€™s stirring inside you. The desperate tingle in your stomach builds with each curl of his fingers, and just when you think you might be careening toward the edge, he pulls away. You open your mouth to protest, only to watch him stand up and strip out of his jeans and boxers.
He shifts back onto the bed, bracing himself over you, and a sharp bolt of arousal lances through your core when you feel himโ€”hot and hardโ€”rubbing insistently against your clit.ย 
โ€œGonna fuck you, baby,โ€ he breathes, voice hoarse. โ€œGonna show you how much you mean to meโ€”how good you are to meโ€”โ€
He guides himself to your entrance and pushes in, inch by inch, until heโ€™s fully sheathed inside you. Your jaw goes slack at the delicious stretch. Both of you gasp at the same timeโ€”like youโ€™ve just remembered how good this can feel when all the walls are down, when youโ€™re both so desperately in need of one another.
A shudder runs through him.ย 
โ€œGod, I missed this,โ€ he groans, beginning a slow, steady pace. โ€œMissed you.โ€ He leans in, mouthing at your neck, your collarbone, anywhere he can get his lips. โ€œGonna do this every dayโ€”after every shiftโ€”hell, before every shift. Want you on my cock anytime I can have you.โ€
The rhythmic drag of him thrusting deeper and deeper has you arching your back. Your nails instinctively rake down his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself. The sting must register because he lets out a rough moan.
โ€œYou gonna scratch me up, huh?โ€ he rasps, his pace growing more determined. โ€œGonna leave a mark on me?โ€
โ€œS-sorry.โ€ You freeze for half a second, peering up at him through hazy, pleasure-blurred eyes. โ€œDonโ€™t wanna hurt youโ€”โ€
โ€œCould never hurt meโ€”not after what I did.โ€ He shakes his head, eyes burning with intensity. โ€œIโ€”I want it, baby. Wanna feel you tomorrowโ€”everytime I moveโ€”wanna remember whoโ€™s at home waiting for me. Our home.โ€
Something about thatโ€”our homeโ€”sends sparks of electricity tearing through your veins.ย 
โ€œSteve,โ€ you breathe. Your voice cracks with urgency. โ€œShit, Iโ€™m gonnaโ€”โ€
He knows what you mean before you even said the words. Bearing down, he snaps his hips a bit faster, and his words become even more ragged and desperate, tumbling from his lips in quick succession.ย 
โ€œSo fucking smartโ€”so fucking pretty,โ€ he manages between thrusts. โ€œAlways so sweet for meโ€”Godโ€
His chest is heaving, damp with sweat, and heโ€™s pounding into you like he canโ€™t hold anything back. He feels you squeezing around him, and it only drives him furtherโ€”spurs him on like he has something to prove. He canโ€™t give you much, but what he can offer, he gives tenfold.ย 
This is what he can give you, and fuck, he wants to give you so much more. Heโ€™d give anything to make you happyโ€”to make you feel even a fraction of what youโ€™ve given him. He needs you to understand. Needs you to feel it.
โ€œAlways working so hardโ€”taking such good care of meโ€”making me feel so fucking goodโ€”arenโ€™t you, angel?โ€ he mumbles brokenly, delirious. Heโ€™s teetering on the edge, and you feel it in the way his strokes start to falter. โ€œNeed you to know how much Iโ€”Fuckโ€”need you to cum on my cock, baby. Wonโ€™t stop โ€™til I feel itโ€”please.โ€
Youโ€™re too strung out to do anything but obey that fierce longing in his voice. With one more thrust, you tumble into release, your body seizing beneath him. The rush has you clawing at his shoulders, your head thrown back as waves of ecstasy roll through you. You vaguely register him letting out a guttural moan as he follows you over the edge, the tension in his body snapping as he spills into you.
For a few seconds, you both just hover thereโ€”lost in the throbbing aftermath that feels electric and tender. Your vision spots with warm, dizzy bliss, and youโ€™re semi-aware of him collapsing onto you, his lips brushing your temple in a dazed kiss.
You pull away from him, chest still heaving, and the giggle that slips from your lips sounds almost delirious in the quiet thatโ€™s settled around you both. his flushed cheeks crease into a satisfied grin as he tilts his head, studying you.
โ€œWhat is it?โ€ he asks, brushing his fingers through his damp hair.
You push at his chestโ€”just enough to make him tumble to the sideโ€”and roll your eyes.ย 
โ€œYou talk too much.โ€
ย โ€œMe?โ€ He gives an exaggerated gasp. โ€œThatโ€™s weird. Usually you love my mouth.โ€
Heat crawls up your cheeks as you huff, trying to will away the memories of just how much you do love his mouth.ย 
โ€œYeah,โ€ you grumble, โ€œbut when you talk like thatโ€ฆmakes my head all scrambled.โ€
โ€œOh, I know, baby. Iโ€™m so mean, arenโ€™t I?โ€ He pouts exaggeratedly.ย 
Another huff leaves you, though you canโ€™t hide the corner of your mouth twitching in amusement. He leans over the side of the bed to grab his discarded shirt and jeans, and you start to do the sameโ€”only to freeze when you catch sight of his back in the low light.
โ€œOh, fuck,โ€ you breathe out, eyes going wide.
โ€œWhat is it?โ€ He whips around, alarmed by your tone.ย 
ย โ€œI, uhโ€ฆI actually did leave marks on your back.โ€ You grimace a little, shifting your weight to your knees. The faint, reddened lines stand out against his skinโ€”four vivid stripes that trace the path of your nails from earlier.
He glances over his shoulder with a casual shrug, though the slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth betrays his real reaction.ย 
โ€œOh yeah?โ€ His voice dips lower, interest obvious.
โ€œIโ€™m really sorry,โ€ you say, feeling a hint of guilt.
โ€œI wanted you to,โ€ he replies without hesitation, and you notice the flicker of heat in his eyes. โ€œShows I was doing a good job.โ€
โ€œStill feel bad,โ€ you mumble, cheeks burning. You move closer, fingers ghosting over his shoulder blades.ย 
โ€œYou knowโ€ฆโ€ His grin widens. โ€œCould always kiss โ€˜em better. Hear that helps.โ€
You scoff but lean in, pressing soft kisses to each mark, and he practically melts under your touch.ย 
โ€œBetter?โ€ you ask softly, lips brushing the raised skin.
โ€œMuch,โ€ he murmurs, letting out a shaky sigh. Thereโ€™s a definite pink tinge staining his cheeks nowโ€”youโ€™ve managed to fluster him now.
"Aw, you getting shy on me?" You tease as a giggle bubbles up your throat.
"Shut up." He huffs as he leans down to pull on his boxers, holding out his shirt for you to slip on. "Shower?"
You nod as you pull on your clothes, letting him guide you to the bathroom, his touch gentle.
He doesnโ€™t let you lift a fingerโ€”cleaning you up was his job tonight, just like making dinner, just like everything else.
He promised you wouldnโ€™t have to worry about a damn thing ever again, and Steve keeps his promises.
Any stress?
Thatโ€™s his job now. Not yours.
Because youโ€™ve already given him the greatest gift anyone could ask for. You. Your trust, your future. And heโ€™s going to spend the rest of his life making sure you never regret it.
He didnโ€™t tell his dad he was leaving. Didn't see the point.
If the old man wanted to find him, he could, but it wouldnโ€™t change anything. He had made his choice, and for the first time in his life, it wasnโ€™t about living up to someone elseโ€™s expectations.
He blocked out the past, because the only thing that matters now is youโ€”safe, warm, cared for, loved. He would spend every day proving that youโ€™d never have to doubt that again.
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kisses4reid ยท 11 months ago
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missed it | ยทหš เผ˜ spencer reid ,,
summary - you celebrate your birthday alone in tears, until someone knocks on your door.
genre - colleague!reid x fem!reader, angst, fluff
warnings - angst, crying, memories of neglect and favouritism
a/n - a little self indulgent. thank you for 450 followers!!!! taglist is open as always, sorry for the cliff hanger.
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Crisscross applesauce on a wooden barstool in front of leftovers from the night before. Exactly how every Wednesday night is. Itโ€™s raining, you can smell petichor, and you had just finished a book your colleague had lended you two days prior.
There is nothing special about today.
Your day was full of paper work and coffee breaks. Exactly how every Wednesday is. It was overcast, you could smell petichor, and you had just handed in some classified paperwork to your boss.
There was nothing special about today.
You night will be sleepless, full of tears and terrible memories. Not like every Wednesday night. It will storm, youโ€™ll smell dirt and mud, and youโ€™ll show up the next day to pretend youโ€™re as bubbly and smiley as every one thinks you are.
There is nothing ever special about today.
You gripped your fork and stuffed the last of the leftover rice into your cheeks, chewing as a coping mechanism for the ball gathering at the back of your throat.
Glancing at your phone every two minutes didnโ€™t help the gathering tears either, especially when it was a black screen every time. It happens every year.
Maybe your little cousin will send some emojis and a love heart, but itโ€™s been years since that last happened. Your brothers and sister would get posts on your mothers Facebook, and you got a happy birthday from a distant aunty you met once when you were 3.
Maybe this is why when you dry yourself and start your nighttime routine, you light the candle you bought yourself, and get changed into pyjamas you bought yourself, and you light a skinny colourful candle you bought yourself.
You donโ€™t get the chance to blow it out before a tear extinguishes it.
A sob rakes through you. Even in these warm pyjamas surrounded by your favourite vanilla and citrus scent, you canโ€™t seem to be happy with what youโ€™ve got. Thatโ€™s what your father would tell you every birthday until you were 11 - when the presents stopped rolling in.
Be grateful for the clothes youโ€™ve already got, for the books youโ€™ve already read, for the food youโ€™ve already eaten.
Be grateful that your little sister can breathe to blow out your candles, that your brothers have hands to open your presents.
Be grateful.
You are grateful you got that part time job to move out so young, that you were accepted in the BAU and welcomed with open arms, that it gave you the financial stability to own your own apartment with windows to get rained on and bookshelves to fill.
The covers on your bed were darkening with every tear that dropped from your cheek. It was ruining your skincare.
A laugh escapes you, barely audible through your closing throat, before you hear a firm knock on your front door.
Slippers on, hair loose and messy, you opened the door with a frown. It was not the day nor time for any soliciting or girl scout cookies. But you stopped for a second and glanced at the time displayed on your oven. It was 11pm.
โ€œY/n? Are you awake?โ€
Your eyes widened at Spencer Reidโ€™s voice, eyebrows furrowing and hand quick to twist the door knob.
โ€œSpencer what are you-โ€œ
โ€œHappy birthday?โ€ A full teeth smile was plastered on his place, but you didnโ€™t notice as his face was hidden by a vanilla cake and small bag with plastic casing over it.
Any other time Spencer would be welcome in, it would make sense today wouldnโ€™t be any different. For gods sakes, he has a key to your front door - but when his smile fades and you feel the last tear drop catch on your socks, you rethink opening the door all together.
โ€œY/nโ€ฆ are you okay?โ€
You felt a pit of coal and ash stir in the bottom of your uneasy stomach. Your eyes flashed between his eyes and the cake, one last single tear dropping down your cheek.
Spencer caught it with his thumb, wiping it with a deep frown.
โ€œIโ€™m fine,โ€ you stepped back to let him in, plastering an awkward smile on your face (something you hoped would say caught me!), โ€œSad movie, thatโ€™s all.โ€
โ€œA sad movie on your birthday?โ€ He set down the bag and cake on your kitchen countertop, concerned expression not lifting after your lie. You bit your lip as his eyes wandered the apartment.
He had been there a million times, but now he seemed to be profiling it.
There was an orange stained plate in the sink - probably your left overs, no indent on the couch nor movie playing on the TV. He peered into your bedroom to find a wrecked bed and slouched pillows, tissues splayed amongst the duvet.
You swallowed, feeling caught and trapped. There was no escaping this, Spencer was too good of a profiler.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Y/n.โ€ His eyes were a deep brown, glossy against his matte chocolate hair. He wore those glasses you liked, even when he insisted he hated how he looked in them. What a beautiful sight in such a sad situation.
You brought your left hand to your right elbow and shook your head, โ€œItโ€™s okay-โ€œ
โ€œNo itโ€™s not.โ€
โ€œSpencer, Iโ€™ve dealt with this for over 12 years. You get used to it.โ€
Spencer stood a metre away from you, eyes scanning you like he was trying to scrap the skin off your bones, see what was really going on.
And at that point, in your den of lies and self-pity, you felt no more rotten truths could hurt you more than you had hurt yourself. Spencer wasnโ€™t much taller than you, but looking at him for this long at an angle was beginning to hurt more than your heart.
You grabbed the cake off of your counter top and smiled as if nothing wrong was happening, โ€œCake! You brought me cake.โ€
Spencer followed you into your living room awkwardly, โ€œYeah. Itโ€™s vanilla- I brought it because we didnโ€™t eat at work today, nobodyโ€ฆโ€
Said Happy Birthday.
You nodded to yourself, patting the space beside you for Spencer to sit. โ€œI know, itโ€™s okay. It was a very busy day, I donโ€™t blame them.โ€ You undid the lid of the cake - obviously store bought - and took in your hand a wine glass that had stood empty for around half an hour. โ€œThank you, my favourite flavour is vanilla.โ€
โ€œI know.โ€ The tall boy let out a small smile then, but it quickly disappeared. He hated how you shrugged off such a devastating situation, how it meant nothing to you, how you claimed it had been like this for 12 years and not broken down.
โ€œY/n-โ€œ Your loud sigh cut him off, stabbing the wine glass into the cake and lifting it, taking a bite of cake that slide out of the cup. The couch softened under your sudden slouch, Spencer faced you with his legs spread like a man.
Your eyes felt tight, chest collapsed. Nothing could be worse than this.
โ€œMy birthday is a week after my older brothers, so even when we did celebrate my birthday, it was small. And then one of my uncles passed away a few days after, and celebrating my birthday was seen as inappropriate.โ€ You took another bite and talked through the frosting, โ€œInstead at Christmas they let me choose which presents were for my birthday, many months late. I was grateful, that was all that mattered.โ€
Spencer moved closer and whispered, โ€œBeing grateful for neglect isnโ€™t healthy, Y/n.โ€
โ€œBut it helped me, as a kid. As a girl who wanted to be loved so badly. When your siblings blow out your candles, and your cake is your sisters favourite flavour, all you can be is spiteful. And when I was, I was reprimanded. Be grateful, Y/n. At least you have siblings who can breathe and eat.โ€
You laughed after some time, Spencerโ€™s mind racing at a hundred miles per minute.
โ€œSo I never told anyone my birthday. Thatโ€™s why I showed up at the door looking like this,โ€ you point to yourself and giggle, โ€œI didnโ€™t think anyone knew.โ€
โ€œYou look gorgeous.โ€ He whispered, thigh touching yours on the plush couch. His hand lifted and skimmed your face, thumb moving to wipe a dot of frosting off of your lips. His hand fell.
โ€œWhatโ€™s in the bag?โ€ You ask.
โ€œOpen it and see.โ€ He replies.
Whatโ€™s inside surprises you more than his initial arrival. It a medium sized glass bottle of perfume, with simple rinestones and gorgeous patterns engraved in it, a baby pink ribbon around its neck. The words were in french, the only words in english reading vanilla & citrus, in cursive writing.
A breath escaped you, your fingers tracing each detail like you were to memorise it. Spencer gulped as your eyes were glued to the writing and the shiny glass, how the liquid inside sloshed only slightly at every move.
โ€œIt isโ€ฆ do you like it?โ€ He asks, turning his body towards yours trying to scope out your expression.
โ€œI love it.โ€ You mumble in awe.
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œI love it, thank you. Spencer, this isโ€ฆโ€ A wide smile escaped you, an incredulous giggle accompanying it. He let out a held breath and wove his shaking fingers through his hair. He was still at a loss for words at your previous confessions, but at least he made you happy, laugh.
Your eyes held each other for a moment, the room getting so suddenly small and hot.
โ€œIโ€ฆโ€ you try to finish your sentence before you notice his gaze flickering to your lips, causing a small smile to appear.
โ€œHappy birthday, Y/n. Iโ€™m sorry your birthdays were overlooked, I promise they wonโ€™t be anymore.โ€ Spencer whispered, leaning in.
taglist (open!!) : @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es
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thyme-in-a-bubble ยท 7 months ago
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plum
reprised edition
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a/n: this guy has been on my mind lately, so i decided to do a thing i've been thinking about since i wrote this story: stitch this whole series into one huge oneshot, edit it, fine-tune it and finally round it off from where i just dropped it one and a half years ago.
summary:ย โ€œfuckโ€ฆโ€ all the air escaped Tommyโ€™s lungs, โ€œI thought she was deadโ€ฆโ€ his glistening eyes didnโ€™t rip away from your frame for even a second as he revealed, โ€œyeahโ€ฆ yeah, I know her. Sheโ€™s like family.โ€
warnings:ย joel miller x former firefly!reader, reprised version of my series plum, smut, dark content (traumatic past including: forced pregnancy, rape, drugging, essentially being held as a slave, death/murder, solitary confinement, suicidal thoughts), rape recovery, jackson era, age gapย (20 years), fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, violence, blood and gore, torture, ptsd, panic attacks, nightmares, crying, alcohol consumption, slow burn, bff!tommy, love confessions, kissing, dirty talk, masturbation, dry humping, pussyjob, light choking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, angsty ending/cliff hanger
word count: 15.180
โˆผ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here โˆฝ
masterlistย |ย join my taglistย 
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Clenching your fists together tight enough that the bones creaked under the pressure, you sucked in a sharp breath and readied yourself for the heavy footsteps making their way around the corner to where you hid. As soon as you saw a bright flashlight flicker in your direction, you pounced, opting to immediately jump the figure, rather than act too late and having history repeat itself. Alas, your attempted ambush didnโ€™t pay out as you only managed to get a few good hits in before the manโ€™s might came down upon you.
โ€œJoel?โ€ a different man shouted from the room opposite the one youโ€™d hidden in, obviously picking up on the scuffle.ย 
Your next punch then promptly fell short as the unexpectedly familiar rough voice sent goosebumps all over your already freezing skin.ย 
You knew that voiceโ€ฆ no doubt in your mind who it wasโ€ฆ
โ€œTommy?โ€ you just managed to call out to the not-yet-visible man, quickly coming to your attackerโ€™s aid, before your weakened stance sent the whole scuffle directly into the rough concrete wall to the right, your already bruised temple colliding with it and knocking you clean out.ย 
Rushing into the room, gun already lowering, Tommy swiftly extended an arm out to halt Joel as he instinctually followed your form as it dropped like a sack of potatoes, wholly ready to finish the job.
โ€œWait, stop!โ€ย 
Holding back his punch, Joel glanced up at his little brother, observing as his wide eyes raked over your unconscious figure.ย 
โ€œWhat, do you know her or something?โ€ he asked, the adrenaline causing the sentence to come out sounding rather vile.ย 
โ€œFuckโ€ฆโ€ all the air escaped Tommyโ€™s lungs, โ€œI thought she was deadโ€ฆโ€ his glistening eyes didnโ€™t rip away from your frame for even a second as he revealed, โ€œyeahโ€ฆ yeah, I know her. Sheโ€™s like family.โ€
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Jolting awake, a pair of hands quickly found your shoulders in a calming manner.ย 
โ€œWow, wow, itโ€™s okay, plum, youโ€™re alright, youโ€™re safe,โ€ your frantic eyes finally came to rest on Tommyโ€™s figure sitting beside the cot you had been placed in. Answering before you even had the chance to ask or unravel any further, he continued, โ€œyouโ€™re in Jackson, we brought you back home.โ€
Sitting on the small bed with a palm rooted on the mattress for support, you trembled, โ€œIโ€™m home?โ€ and the floodgates immediately burst open, letting the relieved tears flow that youโ€™d come to believe wouldnโ€™t ever see the light of day.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re home,โ€ the familiar person holding a worn clipboard at the foot of the cot nodded softly.ย 
โ€œDoctor Duncan?โ€ the friendly face made you squeeze your eyes shut in an effort to bear the overwhelming nature of finally being safe.
โ€œHi Y/n,โ€ she kneeled down to be more at your height and softly told you, โ€œitโ€™s good to have you back.โ€
Fighting hard not to let the dizzy feeling in your body win, you sobbed, โ€œI canโ€™t believe Iโ€™m actually here.โ€ย 
โ€œAll this time,โ€ Tommy breathed, โ€œI thought you were dead.โ€
Looking up into his glossy eyes, you admitted, โ€œI almost wasโ€ฆโ€
Not being able to resist any longer, he asked, โ€œdid the othersโ€“, are theyโ€“โ€
โ€œNoโ€ฆโ€ you shook your head lightly and glanced down at the dark fleece blanket draped over your aching body, โ€œthey didnโ€™t suffer though, it was quick, painless for themโ€ฆโ€
You honestly hadnโ€™t thought about any of the people youโ€™d been travelling with in ages, out of the pure need to survive, but now that you finally did, the vile memories had your empty stomach clenching in need to vomit.ย 
โ€œWhat happened?โ€ Tommy asked, though was quickly counteracted by doctor Duncanโ€™s soothing voice.
โ€œYou donโ€™t have to answer that right now, sweetheart,โ€ and gave you a pained glance.
Of course, Aria had gathered some pieces to the puzzle from just the minor check-up she had undoubtedly done as soon as you had been brought into the infirmary. She didnโ€™t have to look any further than just your still faintly bruised wrists to get an idea of what horrors you had clawed your way out of to get back here.ย 
โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆuhmโ€ฆโ€ you struggled to keep your breathing steady as you let your vision drift and the painful words fall from your lips, โ€œwe were ambushed by a group of hunters. They did what they do, killed everyone without even thinking twice about itโ€ฆ except when they found me,โ€ you unconsciously dug your nails into the root of your palm, hard enough for the skin to break, โ€œI was hiding and I could hear,โ€ you closed your eyes, still recollecting the 2-year-old memory clear as day, โ€œevery single one of them get shot. One after the other, Trevor, Alice, Benny, Sam, almost rhythmically with how fast it was. But when they found me, they didnโ€™t pull the trigger. Said that my head was too pretty to put a bullet through it. So instead, they just knocked me out. I woke up back at their base, chained in this cellโ€ฆ theyโ€“โ€ฆย theyโ€“โ€ฆโ€ as much as you wanted to tell these people you cared so much about every single horrifying thing youโ€™d had to endure, you just couldnโ€™t. The words physically wouldnโ€™t come out of your mouth.ย 
Squeezing your eyes shut, tight enough that they hurt, Tommyโ€™s quiet voice pulled you back from the black hole of memories youโ€™d found yourself in.ย 
โ€œJesus christ, Y/nโ€ฆโ€ he uttered, barely breathing at all.
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Since your old home here in Jackson had long been occupied by somebody else, Tommy had insisted that you stay at his and Mariaโ€™s house, just till you got back on your feet, and they could find you somewhere more permanent to live.ย 
It took a bit, but eventually, Tommy managed to twist his big brotherโ€™s arm and get him to reluctantly give a hand at setting a room up for you.ย 
Ever since youโ€™d gotten back, Joel had assumed that he had now understandably become a foe in your eyes with the less-than-pleasant way your first meeting had transpired. So, he just tried his best to stay far away from where you were, figured from the little he had heard through the grapevine that youโ€™d been through enough and didnโ€™t need to also deal with his old mug in the foreseeable future.ย 
But still, after finally setting down the hefty mattress the two brothers had hauled halfway through town, Joel couldnโ€™t help but let some of his curiosity slip out, โ€œwhy do you call her that anyway?โ€
โ€œHuh?โ€ Tommy cocked an eyebrow as he passed Joel the bottle of water he had just taken a healthy swig from himself.ย ย 
โ€œPlum,โ€ he accepted the much-needed drink, โ€œwhy do you call her plum?โ€
โ€œOh, itโ€™s kind of a funny story actually,โ€ his little brother smiled, leaning back against the paint-chipped windowsill, โ€œback in the beginning, not too long after I had joined the fireflies, she just showed up one day. Couldnโ€™t have been more thanโ€“,ย hell, she couldnโ€™t have been more than Ellieโ€™s age back then. She just waltzed right up and demanded to speak to Marlene. And as a way to get her foot in the door, sweeten the deal a bit, her pockets were filled to the brim with plums. Fucking plums. Like, where did she even get them?โ€ he laughed, finding the memory too entertaining for his own good, โ€œso thatโ€™s how we introduced her, told Marlene that a little plum was here to speak to her. I guess the nickname just kinda stuck after thatโ€ฆโ€
โ€œShe was a firefly with you?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ he nodded, โ€œwe even quit at the same time and travelled out here to Wyoming together.โ€
โ€œSo, you two really go way back then?โ€ the older man commented, still oozing with mistrust.
โ€œJoel,โ€ Tommy caught his brotherโ€™s eye, โ€œshe was the best man at mine and Mariaโ€™s wedding. Yeah, we go way back,โ€ a protectiveness glistened over him, โ€œsheโ€™s like my little sister. Sheย isย my little sister.โ€
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The dry twig that suddenly snapped underneath your boot caused the soft strumming, that youโ€™d become so captivated by, to stop at once. Holding your breath, Joelโ€™s eyes found yours.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ you rushed out, all of a sudden feeling as if youโ€™d been invading his privacy, โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆ Iโ€™m sorryโ€ฆโ€
You hadnโ€™t been able to sleep, so instead of just tossing and turning, youโ€™d gone for a little walk around the slumbering town. It had not been your intention to spy on him, but the gentle music that reverberated from his guitar had drawn you in like a siren song, unintentionally making you step closer and closer to where he sat out on his dimly lit porch.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s fine, you donโ€™t have anything to apologise for,โ€ he swiftly set the instrument aside and averted his gaze, the action giving you a stomach ache.ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ you moved a bit closer, slowly climbing the short steps, โ€œI think I doโ€ฆโ€ and when you only received a furrowed brow in response, you continued softly, โ€œI wanna apologise for punching you the other day.โ€
โ€œWhy?โ€ he asked, seeming genuinely confused.ย 
โ€œBecause thatโ€™s not the kind of first impression that I wanted Tommyโ€™s famed big brother to have of me,โ€ you nervously bit down on your bottom lip.ย 
โ€œWhat, he told you about me?โ€
โ€œYeah, honestly wouldnโ€™t shut up about you. Practically idealised you,โ€ you fiddled with your hands behind your back, โ€œhell, I think he still does.โ€
โ€œWell,โ€ he nodded politely, still not letting his gaze stay upon you for too long at a time, โ€œlike I said, you have nothing to be sorry for,โ€ then let out a deep sigh, โ€œI, however, would like to apologise to youโ€ฆ I didnโ€™t know who you were, and if I did, then I wouldnโ€™t have justยญโ€“โ€
โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ you cut in, your face briefly crinkling up in unease, โ€œif the roles were reversed, Iโ€™d have done the exact same,โ€ trying and failing to catch his eye, you asked, โ€œwe square?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ he offered you a light nod, keeping his vision fixed upon his interlocked hands resting in his lap.ย 
โ€œOkay,โ€ you exhaled, leaning back against the railing, โ€œgood.โ€
โ€œGotta give it to you though,โ€ he let out just the essence of a chuckle, โ€œyou throw a mean punch.โ€
Biting down on your blooming smile, you confirmed assuredly, โ€œyeah, I know.โ€
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Shaky breaths flowed in and out past your lips as you pressed your forehead against the majestic animal standing before you in the dark barn.
โ€œItโ€™s okay, itโ€™s okay,โ€ you sniffled quietly, attempting to ground yourself as you stroked your palm over the horseโ€™s dark coat, โ€œIโ€™m home, Iโ€™m safe, I-Iโ€™m okayโ€ฆโ€
Hearing footsteps suddenly approach the dark stall you were standing in, a rough voice broke the silence of the early morning hours, โ€œhey Viking,โ€ the horse by you puffed gently at the man in acknowledgement, โ€œyou ready to go?โ€ then as he rounded the corner and finally caught sight of you, his brisk stride halted completely, โ€œoh,ย hi.โ€
โ€œHi Joel,โ€ you rushed to wipe the runny snort from your nose and the flowing tears from your cheeks, then attempted a forced smile, โ€œyou gonna head out on patrol?โ€
โ€œI,ย uhm,โ€ his brows furrowed in concern, โ€œyeah.โ€ย 
โ€œYouโ€™ve been taking a lot of shifts lately,โ€ you noticed, โ€œdonโ€™t you usually wait till the sun comes up to leave?โ€ย 
โ€œSometimes,โ€ he purposely kept his replies short, then surprised you by asking softly, โ€œyou know Viking?โ€ and reached up to pet the horseโ€™s broad cheek himself.ย 
โ€œYeah, we know each other pretty well me and him,โ€ your faked smile grew a little more genuine, โ€œwe used to go out on patrol all the time back in the day.โ€
โ€œReally? Do youโ€“,ย uh, you want him back?โ€ย 
โ€œNah, I can see he really likes you. You two make a pretty good teamโ€ฆย Anyhow,โ€ you glanced down at the hay-covered floor, โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™d be that much fun for him to hang out with since Iโ€™m not so sure Iโ€™m quite ready to go out yetโ€ฆ think itโ€™s at least smart to wait till I start sleeping through the night again,โ€ you tried to jest, though didnโ€™t manage to gain any reaction from Joel.
Lightly chewing on his inner cheek, he stared down at you with such empathy that you feared your tears might pick up again, โ€œis that why you came out here? Trouble sleeping?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ you breathed out, โ€œI donโ€™t really sleep anymoreโ€ฆ and if I do, then Iโ€“โ€ฆ I am right back thereโ€ฆ wake up screaming or cryingโ€ฆ and I canโ€™t talk to Tommy about all of this,โ€ you shut your eyes a moment, โ€œhe knows me too well and I just canโ€™t bear to see that look on his face,โ€ locking in on Joelโ€™s dark eyes, you uttered, โ€œlike Iโ€™m breaking his heart beyond repair.โ€
Letting out a heavy sigh, Joel averted his gaze and then tried, โ€œis there anything I can do? You can have as much time with Viking as youโ€™d like, if that could help.โ€
Letting out a choked chuckle at his offhand offer, you then bit down on your bottom lip, โ€œcould youโ€“โ€ฆย uhmโ€ฆโ€ you scrunched up your face and wrestled with the internal debate of if you should actually ask him or not, โ€œitโ€™s gonna sound silly, but could you maybe just hold my hand? Just for a little bit?โ€
Sucking in a breath that he never quite seemed to let out again, he glanced down at your right hand and nodded lightly, โ€œsure,โ€ then held his own out, palm up, for you to grasp.ย 
For the first second, you noticed yourself stiffen up, then you abruptly felt your body let go in a way that it hadnโ€™t quite done yet. Nearly instantaneously squeezing your eyes shut, you just tried to breathe through it, or frankly, just actually breathe at all.ย 
He was just holding your hand. How could such a tiny thing do so much?ย 
Joel didnโ€™t say a word, not even let out a sound. He just stood there, holding your hand as you full-on broke down beside him.ย 
โ€œI-Iโ€™m s-sorry,โ€ you wept, the reaction not seeming to surprise him half as much as it did you.ย 
Running his thumb softly over your knuckles, he uttered simply, โ€œitโ€™s okay,โ€ and you noticed how hard your body was shaking under his light grasp.ย 
โ€œY-you were on your way out and Iโ€™m keeping you, itโ€™sโ€“, Iโ€™m really sorryโ€ฆโ€
โ€œIโ€™m not in any hurry, plum. Iโ€™ll head out whenever youโ€™re ready. You just say the word and Iโ€™ll go.โ€
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โ€œOh, manโ€ฆโ€ you breathed out as your fingertips ghosted over the dusty spines of the many novels lined up in front of you.ย 
Youโ€™d snuck out. Like a teenager in the night, youโ€™d snuck out of Jackson. You werenโ€™t particularly proud of it, being way too seasoned not to know the stupidity of not even leaving a note.ย 
But it was just a small trip, a few hours tops. Youโ€™d be back before anyone would realise you were gone. You just knew that they wouldnโ€™t have let you go if youโ€™d spoken up, at least not alone.ย 
With a few books already reserved, the hardcovers pressed tightly against your chest, locked in place by your forearm, you glanced up and spotted a particularly intriguing title, one that tickled a memory long forgotten. Lifting yourself onto your tiptoes and reaching your free hand up as far as it would go, your fingertips only managed to kiss the binding, not gaining nearly enough of a hold to get it down.
Giving it a few forceful pokes in hopes that it would just push the book enough for you to be able to grasp it fully and therefore quietly retrieve it, the hardcover instead came crashing down, causing not only a cloud of dust to puff up in the abandoned library but also sent a deafening thump echoing down deeper within the vast building.ย 
Freezing up, barely even breathing at all, you glanced down at the dropped book and a cluster of bloodcurdling, guttural screeches found your ears. As silently as you could manage, you reached for your knife, having not been able to grab a firearm back at Jackson since they were under much more severe security.ย 
Evidently, the library wasnโ€™t as vacant as youโ€™d thought. There turned out to be two, maybe three clickers scattered about, somewhere in the many rows of bookcases surrounding you.ย 
Needing both hands to defend yourself, you slowly shifted the books in your arm and slid the pile onto an open spot on the dusty shelf before you. Holding your breath, you hoped the action hadnโ€™t created too much noise.ย 
Standing still, standing ever so still, you heard one of the creatures creep closer. Tightening your grip around the handle of your blade, you watched as the blooming fungi appeared around the corner.ย 
Debating for a moment if you should strike out or just keep standing there, hoping you could somehow hide amongst the stories long enough for you to eventually slip out, the sudden shriek it then produced as it whipped towards you decided your next move.ย 
Having luck on your side, your knife found purchases in the monsterโ€™s neck and as you sliced it open, exposing its mutated vocal cords. The clicker swiftly dropped to the floor, but the ruckus alarmed the rest of your exact location.ย 
With the second one being closer than youโ€™d imagined, the fight was a struggle, and it ultimately forced you to the ground, the infected gnawed atop of you, biting the air in hopes that your tender flesh would accompany some of it.ย 
And just as you thought your doom had finally arrived, that you had lost all hope of triumph, a gunshot rang out amidst the books, blowing a lethal hole into the creatureโ€™s skull.
Sucking in a startled breath, you shoved the rotten corpse off of you. Before you could even manage to get back up on your feet, an outstretched hand appeared right in front of your face.ย 
Blinking up at Joel in alarm, the loud cry of the last remaining creature had you holding your sharp tongue. Accepting his aid, you got back up and quickly took a look around, prepared for the noisy gunshot to have sent the final one sprinting straight in your direction.ย 
As Joel spotted how your eyes promptly widened in horror, seizing the clue, he whirled around and covered your body with his broad form as he raised up his pistol, ready to unload into the clicker scampering towards you.ย 
It was only when it laid unmoving on the ground that you noticed how his hand was holding onto your midsection and shielding you protectively. Ripping it away at once, you then gave his sturdy form a big shove, โ€œwhat the fuck are you doing here?โ€
โ€œWhat am I doingโ€“, what areย youย doing here?โ€ Joel bellowed, โ€œthe hell were you thinking running off like that? Do you know how reckless, how goddamn stupid that was?โ€
Fighting the urge to slap him across that salt-and-pepper cheek of his, you scowled, โ€œdid you follow me?โ€
Either he purposefully ignored your question or perhaps he was just way too wrapped up in his own fury not to let himself continue, โ€œdo you have any idea what could have happened to you?โ€
โ€œI can take care of a few infected myself,โ€ you wiped your blade clean against your jeans, then folded it back up and tucked it away in your pocket.ย 
โ€œI know that.โ€
โ€œThen whyโ€“โ€
โ€œBecause the infected arenโ€™t the only threat out here and you know it,โ€ he dared to say. His twitching face softened ever so slightly at the grave look that promptly flooded your features, โ€œthey are still out there, Y/n.โ€
Blood boiling, you turned around on your heel, picked up the abandoned books and determinedly walked towards the exit, bumping your shoulder heatedly into him as you passed.
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Youโ€™d nearly reached the outskirts of Jackson without uttering a single word to Joel. Not even once was a quick glance offered in his direction. It wasnโ€™t like he had tried to get a verbal response from you since youโ€™d exited the library, but just the fact that he was still there, following right behind you, just like the rapidly rising sun in the sky, made you feel like a ticking bomb.
Suddenly, you stopped your determined trek and broke the silence.ย 
โ€œWhat made you think you have the right to do that, to say something like that? You donโ€™t think Iโ€™m already painfully aware that theyโ€™re still out there?โ€ the uncontrollable words spewed out passed your lips like venom, โ€œyou donโ€™t know me, Joel. You donโ€™t get to say stuff like that just because youโ€™re Tommyโ€™s brother.โ€ย 
โ€œY/n, Iโ€“โ€
Whirling around, you cut him off, tears blurring your bloodshot eyes, โ€œdo you really think I canโ€™t protect myself? Protect myself against them? You donโ€™t think I know them a hell of a lot better than any of you do? You donโ€™t think I know all of their tactics, all of their ticks, exactly how they think better than any of you who havenโ€™t even met them once? You donโ€™t think I bothered to get to know every single detail about them when they held me captive? When they kept me as a fucking slave for their own sadistic pleasure? How do you think I finally escaped from there,ย huh? You think it was just dumb luck? Do you think Iโ€™mย lucky? Is that what you would call luck? Would you really wanna call me of all people lucky?โ€ you ignored your bodyโ€™s wishes of throwing up your stomach contents instead of the painful sentences, โ€œyou have no idea what they did, what theyโ€“โ€ฆโ€ your voice broke, and you truly tried to continue, to speak, to share, knowing that the actual words would shut him up for good, but to no success. He didnโ€™t say anything as he watched your lips frustratingly try over and over again to tell him, but in the end gave up, hissing at him right before you spun around again, โ€œfuck you, Joel. I donโ€™t want your help. I didnโ€™t ask for it and I sure as hell donโ€™t want it.โ€
As you began to walk away, his pleading voice stopped you, โ€œdonโ€™t go after them on your own. With the resources here at Jackson, you could do it in a much smart way, in a way that doesnโ€™t get you killed.โ€
Sniffling heatedly, you glared back at him, โ€œwhat makes you think Iโ€™d actually do that?โ€
He glanced down at you in such a way that he looked like an immovable mountain, as if none of your threats had scared him off, โ€œI know that look in your eye,โ€ he uttered with unmistakable understanding shining clear through in his deep voice, โ€œI know youโ€™re desperate for things to get better, for you to be able to just breathe again. But I also know that that kind of desperation can be one hell of a motivator. Even if itโ€™s not there yet, if youโ€™re not already making a plan of attack, itโ€™ll come,โ€ he didnโ€™t raise his voice once, keeping it low and steady, โ€œand when it does, I just ask you to let us have your back, thatโ€™s all. If you ever want revenge, then let us help you.โ€
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โ€œI was thinking that maybe you could start helping out down in the greenhouses a bit,โ€ Maria suggested as she, a little over a week after the library incident transpired, called you into her office to have a talk.ย 
โ€œUh, yeah,๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝsure, that sounds fine,โ€ you shrugged, blinking back at her over the wooden desk.ย ย 
Squinting her eyes at you a moment, she then went on, โ€œthere is actually something else that I wanna talk to you aboutโ€ฆโ€
Already suspecting that thereโ€™d been an ulterior motive for the sudden meeting, you exhaled, โ€œokay, shoot.โ€
โ€œPlum, youโ€™ve been back for,ย what, two months now? And, well, me and Tommy,โ€ a breath paused her sentence before she continued, โ€œweโ€™re really worried about you,โ€ but you didnโ€™t offer her an answer as you simply averted your gaze with a quiet sigh, โ€œI think it would really help if you talked to someone.โ€ย 
โ€œMaria,โ€ you noticed how tense your body had grown and deliberately attempted to make the sore muscles relax and let go, โ€œI canโ€™t talk to you guys about it. I justย canโ€™t.โ€
โ€œWell, maybe you need it to be someone else then. A neutral third party. You know how it can sometimes be easier to tell all of your deep dark secrets to a complete stranger, like a bartender for example, and not to your very best friend?โ€
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โ€œWhat are you doing here?โ€ you blinked, as the figure knocking at your door turned out to be none other than Joel.ย 
โ€œMaria sent me.โ€
โ€œOf course, she didโ€ฆโ€ you sighed as you swiftly stepped aside for him to enter the house that had only been yours for a little while now.ย 
โ€œShe was worried that youโ€™re not eating,โ€ he held up a small container of food for you to see, then sat it down on the dining table directly to the right of the entryway.
Closing the door after him, you then leaned against the wall, โ€œwell, Iโ€™m not hungry.โ€
Glancing up at you, he exhaled, โ€œright,โ€ then moved towards the exit again.ย 
Anxiously crossing your arms, you spoke up as he passed you, โ€œhey Joel?โ€
โ€œYeah?โ€ he stopped in his tracks, trying to catch your skittish eyes.ย 
โ€œCan Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€ you tried, but then promptly remembered how you had yelled at him the last time youโ€™d interacted with each other, and even though he always seemed to see right through it, always responded to it with that usual unwavering presence, you still couldnโ€™t help but shrivel up and say, โ€œno, forget it, itโ€™s not importantโ€ฆโ€
โ€œWhat is it?โ€
โ€œNo, itโ€™s fine,โ€ you stared down at the swirling woodgrain on the floors and waved a hand, โ€œyou goโ€ฆโ€
Not moving his body an inch, he spoke, โ€œY/n,โ€ and made you meet his gaze.ย 
โ€œI justโ€“โ€ฆโ€ you breathed deeply, โ€œMaria told me to talk to someone and she had this idea that it might be easier if it was with someone that I didnโ€™t really knowโ€ฆโ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ he nodded gently, as if you were a baby bird he didnโ€™t want to spook away.ย ย 
Feeling your heart nearly beat out of your chest, you struggled, โ€œcan I talk to you? Can Iโ€“โ€ฆ can I try? Try to tell you?โ€
โ€œSure,โ€ he answered swiftly, not needing a single second to ponder it, โ€œbut are you sure you wouldnโ€™t be more comfortable with Tommy or someone else?โ€ย 
โ€œTommy still sees me as that little girl I was back when I first met him, and I donโ€™t wanna take that away from him. I donโ€™t wanna ruin that any more than I already have. I donโ€™t care if your view of me changes after you hear, because you didnโ€™t know me before. I donโ€™t mind if you look at me as if Iโ€™m broken,โ€ the pained exhale that then flowed out past his lips was so faint that you almost missed it entirely, โ€œalso, the thought of telling any of them exactly what happened just makes it seem so much more real, and I donโ€™t think I could handle thatโ€ฆโ€ just the thought caused fearful tears to trickle down your cheeks, โ€œto be honest, I can barely handle it nowโ€ฆ and you obviously donโ€™t have to do this if you donโ€™t want to, I would never force you to do anything,โ€ you squeezed your eyes shut and rambled anxiously, โ€œand itโ€™s not like Iโ€™ve been abundantly nice to you lately, or really since we met, but I swear it had nothing to do with you, I justโ€“โ€
โ€œY/n,โ€ he cut you off, breathing as if he was trying to do it for the both of you, โ€œI know, itโ€™s fine. I donโ€™t mind you using me as a punching bag. Rather me than someone who could potentially misinterpret it, although, with the way everyone here walks on eggshells around you, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™d take your swings personally. So, if you want me to listen, then Iโ€™ll listen.โ€
โ€œRightโ€ฆโ€
You would surely break the skin if you kept on digging your nails into your palms as hard as youโ€™d unconsciously been doing. Slowly moving towards the dining area, you both sat down at the table. For a long moment, you just sat there, quietly losing your mind while he patiently waited.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know how to do this,โ€ you uttered into your palms as you hid behind them, โ€œI donโ€™t know where to start.โ€
โ€œJust whatever comes to you first, it doesnโ€™t have to be in order, doesnโ€™t have to be everything now, just start somewhere and then go from there. You can just pretend Iโ€™m not even here if that helps.โ€
โ€œOkayโ€ฆโ€ you choked out a small sob, then timidly began, โ€œtheyโ€“โ€ฆ they had this room down in the basementโ€ฆ there werenโ€™t any windows, no light of any kind, so you couldnโ€™t really tell if it was day or night or if you were down there for 1 hour or 24. Theyโ€“,ย uhm, didnโ€™t wanna grow bored of me, so thatโ€™s where theyโ€™d put me in order to keep me out of sight, keep me interesting for them. They always had me restrained in one way or another, kept weapons on me to get me to behave or even occasionally drugged me, although they saved that up for the most important people thereโ€ฆ it wasnโ€™t even the kind of drugs that made me forget, it just felt like they threw me right back in that dark hole again and I just couldnโ€™t do anything. I could still feel every single thing, but I couldnโ€™t even blink.โ€ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t really know when exactly it was, but I think it was during my first winter there that Iโ€“โ€ฆ it was inevitable for it to happen at some pointโ€ฆ and they didnโ€™t wanna try and perform an abortion, didnโ€™t have the right equipment or the skills for it, so they just let nature run its course. And then when it happened theyโ€“โ€ฆโ€ your voice broke as you then uttered through your sobs, โ€œyou know, I didnโ€™t even get to hold herโ€ฆโ€ silently hating yourself as you then actually admitted out loud, โ€œand a part of me wished so hard for me to have just died during the delivery. For a while I let myself think that Iโ€™d finally found a way out. That I would finally be free. That my little girl would help me end it allโ€ฆ and for the longest time, I couldnโ€™t let myself love her, because thatโ€™s not how itโ€™s supposed to be. Thatโ€™s not how youโ€™re supposed to make a new life. It shouldnโ€™t be a consequence of being a slave, of being raped and tortured. She was a consequence. She was a consequence, but I still grew to love her. I didnโ€™t want her, but I still loved herโ€ฆ and they slaughtered her in front of me like a fucking stock animal.โ€
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โ€œY/n?โ€ you suddenly heard from over your shoulder, effectively ripping you out of your trance-like state as the fresh memories of the nauseating dream youโ€™d woken from still flooded your being, the cold sweat still dripping down your spine.ย 
Whipping your head around, you glanced up at the man standing in the doorway and breathed, โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ your arms still tightly wrapped around your knees as you sat upon the cold steps of Joelโ€™s front porch.ย 
Stepping out onto the moonlit deck, Joel exhaled slowly, โ€œhow long have you been sitting out here?โ€ and slowly planted himself in one of the weathered chairs.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ you uttered wearily, your eyes returning to the cluster of bushes off in the distance, โ€œI just woke up from this nightmare and then I remembered that youโ€“โ€
โ€œThat I told you to come here instead of just being alone with it,โ€ he finished for you.
โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€
After a moment, his low gravelly voice found your ears once more, โ€œwhy didnโ€™t you come in?โ€ย 
With the cold wind still tickling your face and reminding you to breathe, you answered, โ€œIโ€“,ย uhmโ€ฆ I donโ€™t knowโ€ฆโ€ย 
Your shaky legs were the ones that had prevented you from going any further and forced you to essentially curl up into a ball as soon as you had reached the small splintery steps.
โ€œOkay,โ€ he murmured simply.ย 
Glancing back at him in the chair, his eyes intently glued on his interlocked fingers, you caught sight of the instrument still propped up beside him.
โ€œHey, Joel?โ€
โ€œYeah?โ€
โ€œWould youโ€“โ€ฆโ€ but the rest of your sentence fell short.ย 
โ€œWhat?โ€ he asked softly, then pressed further when you kept your mouth shut, โ€œwhat is it?โ€
With a sharp inhale, you pushed enough of your nerve-wracking thoughts aside to ask, โ€œwould you play me something?โ€ your eyes nowhere near his as the words left your lips.ย 
โ€œOh,โ€ his brows lifted in gentle surprise as he glanced down at the guitar, โ€œsure,โ€ then picked it up, โ€œanything specific you had in mind?โ€
โ€œNo, just something,ย anything.โ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ he breathed, letting his long fingers ghost over the strings as he pondered the possibilities, โ€œuh, alright,โ€ and with a small nod he began to play, gently strumming out a soft song reminiscent of a lullaby.
The melody at first washed over your body like a warm sip of tea, but after a bit, the feeling changed as you felt him not only pluck at the strings of the instrument, but also the ones on your heart, unexpectedly bringing tears to your already bloodshot eyes.ย 
โ€œThank you,โ€ your shaky voice interrupted his midnight performance.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s just a song.โ€ย 
โ€œNo, Joel,โ€ you clarified as the sight of your tears made him set the guitar back down, โ€œthank you for everything.โ€
โ€œY/n,โ€ he sighed almost painfully, โ€œyou really donโ€™t have to thank me.โ€
โ€œBut I want to,โ€ you spoke determinedly, briefly raising a hand up to wipe your wet cheek, โ€œIโ€“,โ€ you let out a heavy exhale, โ€œI am both incredibly grateful and also so, so sorry that you had to hear all of that, that youโ€™re helping me the way that you areโ€ฆโ€
Studying your expression a moment longer, he then uttered, โ€œdo you not want me to help you or do you just not want anyone to help you?โ€ his earnest observation hit you like a ton of bricks, โ€œplum, you of all people deserve help. I truly feel like Iโ€™m not doing enough, I barely do anything at all,โ€ catching your eye, he then added assuringly, โ€œand you did not force or trick me into this, so please stop looking at me as if you did.โ€
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โ€œWell,ย hello,โ€ the greeting bubbled out of you as you spotted Joel walking past your front porch, โ€œfunny seeing you here.โ€
Stopping in his tracks, he glanced up and spotted you leaning against the railing with a breezy smile upon your face, โ€œhi.โ€
Squinting your eyes at him for a second, you spoke, โ€œI know why Iโ€™m not at the party, but why arenโ€™t you?โ€ the faint bustle of the gathering still softly echoed from a distance.ย 
โ€œI actually just came from there,โ€ he tugged his hands into his pockets, his warm breath clear in the night air, โ€œjust on my way back.โ€
โ€œAlready? Damn, you must be a lot older than Tommy told me,โ€ you teased, suddenly feeling the veranda sway slightly beneath your feet, making your fingers tighten their grip on the railing, โ€œbailing on a party after only an hour.โ€
Furrowing his brows in your direction, he then asked, โ€œY/n, are you drunk?โ€ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ but your light-hearted lie wasnโ€™t convincing at all so you followed it up with, โ€œokay, yeah, I might be a little buzzed.โ€ย 
โ€œRight,โ€ he chuckled and twisted to return to his journey home, โ€œjust donโ€™t stay out here in the cold too long.โ€
โ€œWhy?โ€ you scoffed through your giggle, halting his footsteps yet again.
โ€œJust because the alcohol feels like itโ€™s warming you up, doesnโ€™t mean you wonโ€™t get hypothermia. Especially dressed like that.โ€
โ€œYeah, yeah,โ€ waving a hand in his direction, you fibbed, โ€œIโ€™ll go back inside in a bit.โ€ย 
โ€œJust put on a jacket at least.โ€
โ€œNice trick, mister,โ€ you chuckled, โ€œbut Iโ€™m not going back inside after my jacket. I know you,โ€ one of your fingers pointed accusingly at him as he suddenly abandoned his original destination and walked up your steps, โ€œyouโ€™ll just barricade the door or something as soon as Iโ€™m inside,โ€ though when you saw him shrug his own thick coat off and drape it over your frame, your jovial smile fell from you joking lips, โ€œoh, I wasnโ€™t trying toโ€“โ€
โ€œJust shut up and take it,โ€ he quietly cut off your protest, then rested his forearms against the railing and stared out onto the dim town beyond.ย 
Blinking over at him for a second, you eventually gave in and accepting the warm layer, โ€œโ€ฆthank you.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t mention it.โ€
Slotting in beside him, your eyes soon drifted up to look at the night sky, absentmindedly uttering, โ€œyou know, my grandma knew the names of all the different constatations in the sky, told me all about them when I came over as a kid, but somehow, I still only remember the name of big dipper. I mean, I know them, I know every single one of them, just not the names anymore. Funny how things just slip away like that. No matter how hard you fight to remember, it all just ends up being like a dream,โ€ you then dropped your vision to find Joel already looking at you.ย 
Maybe it was the alcohol at work or maybe it was the months of confusing feelings finally colliding, but the next thing you knew you had leaned in and pressed your lips against his. With the whole world spinning, you felt one of his hands instinctually find purchases on your waist and the other on your cool cheek. But just as quickly as it had happened, thatโ€™s how abruptly it ended when Joel suddenly took a tense step back, his fingers still lingering a second longer as you blinked up at him in dazed amazement.ย 
โ€œPlum, Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€ he didnโ€™t move an inch as you briefly saw a look of genuine fear wash over his severe features, โ€œyou should probably head off to bed.โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€ you sounded down right out of breath.ย 
Keeping his eyes averted, he dodged, โ€œdrink some water, maybe eat a bit so that you donโ€™t feel as bad tomorrow,โ€ and slowly backed away, recoiling as if he had just broken a priceless vase.ย ย 
Too stunned to run after him and still enveloped in his jacket, you shouted, โ€œJoel!โ€ watching from the porch as he disappeared.
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โ€œAbout the other nightโ€ฆโ€ you spoke when finally, after days of trying, you caught Joel before he could slip away again.ย 
Not letting you finish your thought, he breathed, โ€œyou were drunk,โ€ and kept his eyes glued to the floorboard below.
โ€œI wasnโ€™t that drunk,โ€ you uttered softly, staring at his tense form.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ his head shook lightly. The mental whip he lashed across his own back was so clear that you could nearly make it out yourself.ย 
โ€œFor what?โ€
โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have kissed you like that,โ€ his eyes squeezed shut as his face crinkled up in regret, โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have kissed you at all.โ€
โ€œYou kissed me?โ€ your eyebrows shot up, โ€œJoel, I was the one kissing you.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he whispered again, keeping his eyes closed as his head gently swayed from side to side.ย 
โ€œJoel,โ€ your soft voice tried to penetrate his shield as you took a step closer to him, โ€œJoelโ€ฆ please, look at meโ€ฆโ€
Face twitching like a scared little boy, his eyes finally fluttered open, brows twisting up in heartbreak as he noticed the earnest way you were gazing up at him.ย 
It didnโ€™t take more than a heavy shared breath for you both to wordlessly understand.
โ€œIโ€™m too old for you,โ€ he murmured.ย 
โ€œNo, youโ€™re not,โ€ you stated gently, taking another step towards him.ย 
โ€œY/n, you donโ€™t really like me like that,โ€ he tried, โ€œnot really,โ€ though his feet still didnโ€™t move to get away.ย 
โ€œJust shut up. Stop making up dumb excuses. Just be honest with me, only push me away if you really donโ€™t want this.โ€
โ€œWhat I want is not importantโ€ฆโ€
โ€œThatโ€™s not trueโ€ฆ Joel, you are probably the only man in the world that doesnโ€™t scare me. And I didnโ€™t really get why that was earlier, because it didnโ€™t make sense at all, but I do now. I get it now. I didnโ€™t want it to happen, and I donโ€™t know when it did, but Joel, I like you,โ€ you heard your voice break as tears began to blur your vision, โ€œand maybe Iโ€™m wrong, maybe Iโ€™m just completely blind to all of that now, but it just seemed like you liked me backโ€ฆโ€
โ€œY/nโ€ฆโ€
โ€œBut if donโ€™t, then Iโ€™d really appreciate it if youโ€™d just come right out and say it so that I can just leave you alone and let you forget that any of this ever happened.โ€
โ€œPlumโ€ฆโ€
โ€œPlease just tell meโ€ฆโ€ you begged, feeling his trembling breath hit your skin, โ€œjust say that you donโ€™t like meโ€ฆโ€
โ€œI canโ€™tโ€ฆโ€ he breathed, his brown eyes flickering over your face, โ€œyou deserve so much better.โ€ย 
โ€œI know,โ€ tears finally breached and rolled down your cheeks, โ€œso let me have something better. Show me what I deserve.โ€
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โ€œWow,โ€ Joel giggled as you unexpectedly used all of your strength to yank him inside, โ€œhi.โ€
Your lips didnโ€™t waste any more time, immediately latching onto his and needily kissing him as you kicked the door shut behind you, โ€œIโ€™ve missed you.โ€ย 
โ€œPlum, itโ€™s only been a few days,โ€ he chuckled against your peck.ย 
โ€œYeah, well I still missed you,โ€ then added as your fingers tangled in the buttons of his dark green flannel, โ€œa lot.โ€
โ€œOh, yeah?โ€ he hummed as you backed him up towards the couch.
โ€œYeah,โ€ you beamed in between kisses, โ€œI really wish I could go on patrol with you, be out there just the two of us, but Maria still doesnโ€™t think Iโ€™m ready,โ€ you then grumbled pettily, โ€œwhich is complete fucking bull shit.โ€ย 
โ€œYou will get there, just be patient,โ€ the back of his legs hit the sofa and your grasp on his broad shoulders guided him the rest of the way down.
โ€œAnd what if I donโ€™t wanna be patient,ย huh?โ€ you smirked, straddling his lap and capturing his lips in another ravenous kiss.ย 
After nearly ripping the last of his buttons clean off, you parted just long enough for you to lift your warm sweater over your head. Your fingers swiftly seized the hem of your t-shirt, the last remaining layer that remained before your bare boobs sprung free inches away from his face.ย 
Snatching your hands before you got the chance to shred any more clothing, Joel caught your dilated pupils and checked, โ€œyou sure?โ€
โ€œPlease Joel, I want this,โ€ you begged, practically on the brink of tears. Still noting the hesitation in his eye, you wiggled a hand free, placed it on his bearded jaw and told him, โ€œI am not gonna break. You wonโ€™t break me,โ€ feeling his hold still not yield, you breathed, โ€œplease, I want this so bad, I want you, I wanna feel you, I wanna feel all of you.โ€
Searching your eyes, his form then slowly relaxed beneath you and the elated giggle that bubbled out of your throat as you noticed caused a smile to bloom on his stern features as well.ย 
โ€œI havenโ€™t been able to stop thinking about you,โ€ you uttered adoringly.
Tightening his grasp on the edge of your shirt, Joel slowly lifted it up, his large palms swiftly smoothing down your wild hair as the cotton neckline messed it up.ย 
โ€œI missed you too,โ€ his breathy tone made it difficult for you to stay back and let him get a good look at you, as the urge to have his lips again seemed absolutely excruciating. Feeling his fingers drift down from your head to where his eyes were glued to, your hips instinctually rolled down against his thighs as he uttered, โ€œyou are so beautiful,โ€ sounding nearly hypnotised as the soft light glowing from the window behind you cast a halo of light around your perched form.ย 
Curling an arm around your waist, his hand stretched down and breached the waistband of your jeans, promptly using the hold to yank you even closer towards him, a move that made you lose your breath.ย 
You couldnโ€™t hold back the desperate whine that flowed out as you felt his prevalent tent poke against your throbbing core.ย 
โ€œFuck, Joel,โ€ you shuttered as he grabbed the nape of your neck to guide you back for another taste.ย 
Tongues danced against each other, moans were exchanged like the breath you shared and both of your wandering hands werenโ€™t shy to explore the otherโ€™s body as you feverishly rocked down against him.ย 
Although as one of his hands let go of the toe-curling hold it had on the left of your pebbly nipples to slide up towards your face, it never fully arrived at the assumed destination as his fingers unexpectedly enclosed around your throat. His hold was gentle, simply resting there in an effort to keep you close, but unfortunately, that wasnโ€™t how your body understood it.ย 
Freezing up at once, your breath got caught in your throat as tears instantly welled up in your eyes. Your whole body started shaking as your heart-breaking voice burst through your partnerโ€™s haze.
โ€œJoel.โ€
Snapping out of the ecstasy at once, he reeled back and took in how quickly your whole world had flipped upside down.ย 
Hearing him suck in a breath that never truly flowed out again, he swiftly grabbed his shredded flannel, balled up beside him, and draped it over your trembling shoulders, though his fingers just hovering as he did so, being too scared to truly touch you again.ย 
Your hands were still frozen, mid-air, right in front of your body as you wept, โ€œI-Iโ€™m sorry.โ€
โ€œNo, no, no, Iโ€™m sorry. Iโ€™mโ€“,ย fuck, Iโ€™m so sorry, plum.โ€
As excruciating memories flared up throughout your traumatized form and lit it ablaze, you still kept on blubbering, โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Iโ€™m sorry. I want this, I really, really want this,โ€ your jaw clenched in fury as you felt your body betray you, โ€œyou gotta believe me, I wannaโ€“, Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€ your plea got snuffed out as your sobs took over and you jaggedly sunk down and buried your face in his chest, your fingers eventually gaining enough strength to clutch against his warm frame for an ounce of support.ย 
โ€œI know you do, I knowโ€ฆโ€
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An immediate cry burst free as you jolted awake.ย 
Panting, your body blurred the line between reality and dream as you slowly sat up in bed. Feeling the mattress dip beside you, a groggy hand brushed against your thigh, which you instinctually shifted away from, clutching both your knees to your chest as tears dripped from your chin down onto the duvet below. Hearing a soft groan as the man beside you awoke, it didnโ€™t take long before your sobs pierced his peaceful rest.ย 
โ€œY/n?โ€ you felt Joel sit up beside you.
โ€œIโ€“,โ€ you gasped for air, โ€œI canโ€™tย breathe.โ€ย 
โ€œOkay, alright,โ€ you shakily turned your head to look at him, โ€œjust,ย uhm, look at me, focus on me,โ€ he haphazardly thought of a way to help, โ€œyouโ€™re right here, youโ€™re in Jackson, youโ€™re safe,โ€ he abstained the urge to reach out and touch you, almost as if it could burn him, or maybe more correctly, that he could burn you.
Trembling, your hand found his, vibrating against it for but a moment before he enveloped his long fingers around it, his shoulders relaxing slightly at the gesture. Your chaotic eyes flickered down towards his chest for guidance, as your laboured breathing still survived on short little puffs that were beginning to make you feel as if youโ€™d faint.ย 
Noticing, Joel raised your clasped hands up and pressed them against his chest, letting your palm feel how it rose and fell beneath his worn t-shirt. Gradually, as the soft thumping of his heart tickled your hand and accompanied the intakes of air, you regained more control and your own lungs began to return to a more normal pace. Eventually, your desperate sobs turned into just a gentle trickle of tears till they too began to run out.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry I woke you,โ€ you uttered, absolutely exhausted from that start to your day.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ his thumb brushed over the back of your hand, then after a moment asked you softly, โ€œare you okay?โ€
โ€œIโ€“,ย u-uh,โ€ a shiver ran down your spine, โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ฆโ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ Joel nodded simply, letting your enveloped hands drift down from the guiding touch against his chest.ย 
Glancing wearily out the nearby window, you uttered absentmindedly, โ€œitโ€™s not light out yetโ€ฆโ€
โ€œNo, it is not,โ€ he agreed softly.
Having no clue how many hours were left of the eerie night, you spoke, โ€œyou should go back to sleep, you can probably still get enough rest to somewhat resemble a human tomorrow.โ€
โ€œDo you wanna go back to sleep?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ your answer came out instantly, the shadowy moonlight keeping the memories of the nightmare alive and preventing you from shaking it completely, โ€œI donโ€™tโ€“,ย Iโ€“โ€ฆ no.โ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ his voice again was as soft as the duvet that enveloped you, โ€œwhat do you need right now? What could help?โ€ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ฆโ€ your lip quivered as tears welled up in your eyes once more, โ€œI just want it to be day again. You know, things are always a bit better when the sun is outโ€ฆ maybe thatโ€™s silly, but it just feels like it. Things kinda loosen their grip on you easier when youโ€™re not drowning in darknessโ€ฆโ€
โ€œSo, then weโ€™ll wait,โ€ he shifted his fingers to improve his grip on your hand.
โ€œOh, you donโ€™t have to wait with me, itโ€™s okay, Iโ€™m okay now that Iโ€™m awakeโ€“โ€ you attempted, but with little success as he interrupted your fib.ย 
โ€œWeย will wait,โ€ his eyes found yours in the darkness.
โ€œโ€ฆokay,โ€ you exhaled, your shoulders relaxing a bit.ย 
And there you remained for who knows how long, watching together from the warm bed as the dark skies out the nearby window gradually lightened, soon presenting clouds in shades of rose and lavender and the sun eventually cresting from beyond the adjacent mountains.
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โ€œLike that?โ€ you asked as you tried to press upon the instrumentโ€™s strings in the same way that Joel had just shown you.ย 
โ€œClose,โ€ sitting behind you, he watched your attempt over your shoulder, โ€œlike this,โ€ with his arms already wrapped around your form, he readjusted your fingers for the pointer to stretch to an even higher spot on the neck of the guitar, pressing his own callused fingertip over yours to help you hold the stiff string down.ย 
โ€œJoel,โ€ you whined softly as your hand could barely spread out that far, nor press down hard enough to make the correct sound when moulded in that manner, โ€œI canโ€™t do that.โ€
โ€œSure you can,โ€ you felt the scratch of his bearded cheek against yours as you let the grip go.ย 
โ€œMy hands arenโ€™t big enough to do complicated chords like that.โ€
โ€œWell, itโ€™s actually a fairly basic oneโ€“โ€
โ€œOh, shut up,โ€ you chuckled, turning your head to gaze into his warm eyes, your vision briefly flickering down to his smiling lips as you purred, โ€œyou would say that with fingers like yoursโ€ฆโ€ย 
Capturing your lips in a sweet kiss, you let go of the guitar completely, leaving it in Joelโ€™s hands alone as you craned your body, and your fingers found his face.ย 
Still feeling his gentle pecks linger upon your smile, you uttered, โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™m gonna be the nextโ€“,ย uhโ€ฆ you know what, I donโ€™t really remember the names of any famous guitarists right now, but you get the picture.โ€
โ€œYou just need to practice, thatโ€™s all.โ€ย 
Pursing your lips in an effort to hide your smile, โ€œor maybe I should just go back to just watching you play.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re giving up already?โ€ he asked playfully.ย 
โ€œWhat? It was a sweet gesture to teach me, really, but I unfortunately just donโ€™t think I have the right anatomy for it,โ€ you wiggled one of your comparatively small hands in front of his face before he leaned forward, attacking the palm with his tender lips.ย 
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โ€œBut do you really have to go?โ€ you whined into his chest, your arms only tightening around his form, โ€œIโ€™m sure Eugene would fill in for you orโ€“,ย uhm, Jesse! Heโ€™s all young and eager to be out there.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re killing me, you know that, right?โ€ he chuckled, tilting your chin up to catch your eye.ย 
You were officially on the verge of marching over to Maria, once more, to ask if you could go out again. You both craved the morbid normality of going on patrols, loathing so deeply the way everyone in the town treated you as if you were made of fragile porcelain, the infected out there would never change no matter how much you did, and that fact was weirdly comforting to you. But it was also, deep down, because you hadnโ€™t left Joelโ€™s side for weeks now and the thought of being alone again, of going back to that house that you hadnโ€™t even slept in for who knows how long, the thought of him maybe not returning, those too clouded your mind and caused your arms around his body to cling on even tighter.
โ€œStay here with me where itโ€™s warm and there arenโ€™t any infected and where you can enjoy much, much better company than Tommy. Iโ€™m sorry, I love the guy, but itโ€™s true,โ€ you jested, โ€œI am way more fun than him.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah, you wanna tell him all of that when he comes a-knocking in a bit looking for me? Let him find out that youโ€™re the reason Iโ€™m not doing my job?โ€
Slowly unravelling your arms, you took a step back and inspected his cautious expression.ย 
โ€œJoel, are youโ€“โ€ฆ are you scared of your brother finding out about us?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know if Iโ€™d call it that,โ€ he apprehensively tried, โ€œI justโ€“โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€ you severed the remnants of your clinging hug, โ€œare you ashamed of me or something?โ€ย 
โ€œNo! Oh my god,ย no!โ€ he rushed out immediately, his coffee eyes growing wide, โ€œY/n, I am not ashamed of you in any way, please believe that,โ€ his words dripped with desperation.ย 
โ€œAlright,โ€ you breathed, though your brows didnโ€™t unfurrow in the slightest, โ€œbut then why do you wanna keep us a secret?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t wanna keep us a secret, I justโ€“โ€ฆโ€ he averted his gaze and uttered, โ€œthey trusted me to help you, you trusted me enough to let me in and then Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€
โ€œThenย Iย kissed you.ย Iย was the one taking that step. Do you really think your brother would believe that you took advantage of me?โ€
โ€œPlum, I know what you mean to him.โ€
โ€œEven so, you really think heโ€™d believe that? That he would think you would ever do something like that to a person?โ€ย 
Exhaling slowly, โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ฆ Heโ€™s known me all his life. Seen every side of me, good and bad. I donโ€™t know if heโ€™d believe that, but I know I would if I was in his shoes.โ€
Staring down at your feet, you gnawed your bottom lip and eventually spoke, โ€œwhen will you get back?โ€
โ€œMaybe tomorrow or the day after that.โ€
Slowly lifting your eyes up to meet his, you nodded simply โ€œokay,โ€ though didnโ€™t move to offer him another warm farewell.
Picking up his backpack that waited by the front door, his fingers stopped right before turning the handle and glanced back at you, โ€œyou know,โ€ his fingers that werenโ€™t clutching the door fidgeted apprehensively at his side, โ€œyou can stay here while Iโ€™m gone,โ€ your shoulders relaxed as he essentially read your mind, โ€œif you want. If that could somehow make things easierโ€“โ€
But he didnโ€™t get to finish his kind offer as you marched over towards him and snatched his head down for a kiss.ย 
โ€œBe safe,โ€ you rested your forehead against his for a moment as you felt his warm palm slide over your waist, accompanying the relieved sigh that flowed out of him.ย 
โ€œYou too,โ€ he breathed in your scent a second longer before he slipped out of your grasp and exited the home, not daring, even once, to look back at your form through the small window adorning the door.
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โ€œHey plum?โ€ you heard the front door creak open, โ€œyou in here?โ€
Groggily, you answered, โ€œJoel?โ€ laying on the couch, you turned your head to spot the figure soon appearing in the doorway.
Slowing down to a stop as he crossed the threshold into the living room, he smiled at the seemingly just lazy nap he had interrupted, โ€œheya sleepyhead.โ€
โ€œHow did you know I was still here?โ€ you weakly raised yourself up onto your elbows, the room still spinning just as much as it had this morning.
โ€œI didnโ€™t,โ€ he came to sit by your blanket-covered feet, โ€œbut I thought it was a safe bet since you werenโ€™t at home. I actually found something out there thatโ€“,ย hey,โ€ he finally noticed how pale your face was, โ€œare you okay?โ€ย 
โ€œYeah, just a little sick,โ€ you shrugged.
With your calm demeanour not rubbing off on him, he asked, โ€œyou wanna go down to the clinic?โ€ lifting his palm up to gently touch your warm forehead.ย 
โ€œJoel,โ€ you grabbed his hand softly, โ€œIโ€™m fine, itโ€™s just a fever. Now, what did you find?โ€
Eyes still brimming with worry, he kept his one hand in yours while the other unzipped the backpack leaning up against his feet, โ€œwe came across this bookstore when we were moving through an area yesterday, and I just so happen to findย this,โ€ he produced a thick copy of a book with a very familiar faded blue font.
โ€œNo way,โ€ you snatched it up and inspected it to make sure it actually was the sequel you thought it was, โ€œno fucking way!โ€
โ€œI remembered how pissed you were at the first oneโ€™s cliff-hanger, so I just thoughtโ€“โ€
โ€œJoel,โ€ blinked up at him in amazement.
โ€œYou like it?โ€
โ€œAre you kidding me?โ€ you giggled, throwing your arms around him, โ€œI love it, I loveโ€“, I loveย it, thank you so much!โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re welcome, it wouldโ€™ve been a travesty if you never found out if they managed to get theโ€“,ย uhm, sword?โ€
โ€œAxe, itโ€™s a magical axe.โ€
โ€œRight,โ€ he chuckled as you leaned back against the armrest and cracked the novel open, โ€œhey,โ€ your eyes flicked up to meet his again, โ€œyou sure youโ€™re okay?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ you breathed, โ€œbut you know what would make me feel even better?โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€ he chuckled at the sly grin that bloomed upon your lips.
โ€œIf you read me the first few chapters.โ€
Plucking your feet up for them to rest upon his thighs as he scooted closer, โ€œalright. One chapter and then you try and get some more rest, okay?โ€ he reached out for you to hand him the book.
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You had no idea when the lazy morning kisses had turned into something more, something that both felt like falling asleep, but also like you were overflowing with a sudden energy as fire spread throughout your body.ย 
Completely lost in the moment, sprawled out on top of Joelโ€™s form, completely pressed against him as your tongue danced softly against his own, it was first when you picked up on the muffled sighs coming from your partner that you noticed the way your hips needily rocked against his own. When they had decided to seek out what they craved, you didnโ€™t know, but you werenโ€™t gonna stop them now, you couldnโ€™t, it simply felt too incredible.ย 
โ€œPlum,โ€ Joel groaned, though you just hummed in return as your lips wandered over his stubbly jaw, โ€œfuck, justโ€“,โ€ with an arm still around your form, resting on top of his, he gently rotated your bodies, causing you to plop down on the mattress next to him, โ€œhi, good morning,โ€ he painstakingly reeled his head back from yours.
Curling your leg back up over his hip, you purred back, โ€œit really is a good morning, isnโ€™t it?โ€ the tent in his boxers nudging against your throbbing core as you nuzzled back into him, your eyelids fluttering at the sensation.ย 
โ€œMaybe itโ€™s about time weโ€“,ย uh-uhm, get up?โ€ he sucked in a deep breath, obviously attempting to simmer down the result of your escalated tender beginning to the day.ย 
โ€œNah, Iโ€™d much rather stay here with you a little longer,โ€ you breathed, โ€œwouldnโ€™t you?โ€ batting your eyelashes up at him.
โ€œIโ€“,ย fuck, of course, butยญโ€“โ€
โ€œBut what?โ€ your fingers slid across his cheek, weaving them through his short beard.
โ€œDonโ€™t you think we should stop before something happens?โ€
โ€œWe could,โ€ you tried your best to keep the traumatic door he was scratching at closed, โ€œbut Iโ€™m just letting you know that if you get up now, Iโ€™ll just take matters into my own handsโ€ฆ do you really wanna get up and leave when you know Iโ€™ll be right here thinking about you?โ€ย 
โ€œI just donโ€™t want you toโ€“โ€
โ€œMe neither,โ€ you shook your head quickly as you cut his worry short, โ€œplease, Joel,โ€ your words dripped with desperation as you grabbed his wrist and pulled it down between your bodies, โ€œIโ€™m so fucking wet right now,โ€ you cupped his palm against the soaked cotton between your thighs, โ€œit would be so mean to just leave me like this.โ€
Listening as his breathing grew weightier, his eyes fluttered a moment as he thought it over, hand not moving an inch, โ€œyou sure?โ€
โ€œI promise I will tell you if it changes,โ€ you swore, feeling like a wildfire was tearing through your body, then let out a whimper as you felt his hand slowly withdraw, โ€œplease.โ€
Staring directly into your soul, he nodded softly, โ€œokay.โ€
โ€œOkay?โ€ you asked, still dumbfoundedly clawing at his retracting hand.ย 
โ€œOkay, go ahead,โ€ he clarified, caressing your confused fingers a moment before tangling his own with them, โ€œIโ€™m not gonna stop you from making yourself feel good.โ€ย 
Letting out a jagged exhale as a soft smile bloomed on your lips, you tilted your chin up and crashed your lips into his, your relieved giggle vibrating into the kiss.ย 
Dipping your fingers below your waistband, even just the lightest touch against your buzzing clit had you letting out a deliciously desperate sound that made you break from his adoring lips. Feeling them linger on your face a moment longer, softly pecking your flushed cheek and the tip of your nose, he then pulled back a bit, his free hand sliding up to the side of your features as he gazed lovingly at your blissful expression.
Feeling the hand clutching yours not let go as you had assumed it would, on the contrary, you felt it tighten its grip and squeeze yours encouragingly as the sloppy sounds emanating from between your legs filled the bedroom, โ€œare you gonna join me?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ his genuine smile smooshed lightly against the pillow beneath his face as his thumb caressed your cheekbone softly, โ€œIโ€™m good right here.โ€
โ€œButโ€“โ€
โ€œTrust me, Iโ€™ll be fine, this is all I want, all I need, just seeing you touch yourself like this right in front of me, watching you give yourself exactly the kind of pleasure you want, hearing those beautiful sounds you make,ย fuckโ€ฆโ€ he said, giving you all of the control, โ€œyeah, Iโ€™m good.โ€
Staring back into his kind eyes in amazement, you breathed out just the remnants of a smile and uttered, โ€œokay.โ€
โ€œJust do what feels good, plum,โ€ he encouraged, sharing your breath as you kept up the tight circles you drew over your puffy little pearl, โ€œwhat you like,โ€ he broke the intense eye contact and rested his forehead against your own, โ€œwhat you need.โ€ย 
His deep voice made your eyes flutter. The heated morning make-out session had worked you up so much that you barely needed anything more in order to reach that sought-after high. If he hadnโ€™t stopped you before, if it had just lasted a minute longer you would have probably cum right there, rubbing yourself against his strong thigh. So, the addition of his words was almost too much to bear.
Lifting your entangled hands up towards his lips, he kissed your knuckles gently, tilting his head back to admire your electric expression, how your brows knitted together and your mouth hung agape.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re so fucking beautiful,โ€ he uttered as your moans gradually grew louder and you found yourself tumbling over the edge before you even realised youโ€™d reached it.ย 
After your legs had relaxed from their light flailing and your breath began to come in more gently, completely dazed, you stared up at Joel as he soon asked you carefully, โ€œare you okay?โ€
โ€œHoly shitโ€ฆโ€ you breathed as you sluggishly slipped your wet fingers back out of your underwear.
With his large hand still on the side of your face, he searched your fuzzy eyes, โ€œplum? Are youโ€“โ€
โ€œY-yeah,ย fuck,โ€ you tightened your hand in his and lulled forward, resting your forehead against his once again, โ€œIโ€™mโ€“,ย yeahโ€ฆ Iโ€™m goodโ€ฆโ€
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โ€œHey, are you okay?โ€ Joel asked as he felt your body suddenly stiffen up in his lap.ย 
โ€œIยญโ€“โ€ฆโ€ you exhaled slowly, focusing your jittery vision on his warm eyes, โ€œthis just got very real all of a suddenโ€ฆโ€
โ€œYeahโ€ฆโ€ his wide palm moved gently over your bare back, his respectful gaze staying on your face and not drifting down to soak up the distracting vision of your collective nude forms moulded against each other, โ€œdo you wanna stop?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you shook your head lightly.ย 
โ€œDo you wanna do something else? Because you know Iโ€™m fine, we donโ€™t have to do this.โ€
โ€œNo, I really,ย reallyย want to, I justโ€“โ€ฆโ€ your eyes drifted down to stare at his shoulder while you spoke sincerely, โ€œI wanna stay here with you and not have my mind wander off and get confusedโ€ฆโ€
โ€œI want you to stay here too, more than anything,โ€ his fingers tangled themselves in your hair, bringing your eyes back up to meet his, โ€œwhat can I do? What can I do to help?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ฆโ€ you offered him a shy shrug, โ€œI guess you could try and remind me? Help keep me focused on this, on youโ€ฆโ€
โ€œOkay,โ€ he agreed softly, his thumb swiping over your flushed cheek, โ€œwell, youโ€™re right here with me, there is no one else, just you and me, plum.โ€ย 
โ€œYeah,โ€ you exhaled, your shoulders relaxing under his comforting touch.ย 
โ€œAnd you know that Iโ€™ve got you, right? No matter what, no matter how, Iโ€™ve got you.โ€
Feeling a soft smile warm up your face, you echoed, โ€œyouโ€™ve got me,โ€ and absentmindedly rolled your hips once more against his own, rubbing your leaking cunt all over the underside of his length as it stood proud.ย 
Leaning in to steal a chased kiss, you sneaked your hand down between your forms and ghosted your fingers over his girth. Joel sucked in a breath as you slowly gained more confidence, dancing your fingertips over his slick stained dick.ย 
With a hand rooted on his chest as an anchor, you needily began to buck your hips against him, your weeping folds enveloping his cock as you rocked against him.ย ย 
โ€œFuck,โ€ Joel hissed in pleasure, his nose bumping lightly against your own as he commented on the slick sounds accompanying every desperate rock, โ€œyouโ€™re so wet.โ€
Brows knitted together, you let your head drop down and hide in the crook of his neck. Your whimpers vibrated against his skin and as you felt the fire inside of you begin to grow out of control, so did the confession that irrepressibly flowed from your blissful lips.ย 
โ€œI love you.โ€ย 
You instantly froze up, feeling your swollen clit throb against his hard cock.ย 
โ€œOh my godโ€ฆโ€ he breathed, sounding utterly amazed.ย 
โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆโ€ you continued to hide, โ€œoh god, Iโ€™m sorryโ€ฆ Iโ€“, Iโ€™m sorryโ€ฆโ€
โ€œNo, hey,ย hey,โ€ his hands found your neck and gently pulled you back, โ€œwhy are you sorry,ย huh?โ€ he searched your averted gaze.ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to say that.โ€
โ€œYou didnโ€™t mean it?โ€
โ€œNo, I just didnโ€™t mean to blurt it out like that!โ€ completely mortified, you brought your hands up to shield your face.
โ€œโ€ฆso youโ€“โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, I justโ€“โ€
โ€œPlum,โ€ you felt his thumbs swipe over the backs of your hands, begging them to reveal your face to him, โ€œplease stop apologizing for telling me the best thing you could ever say,โ€ holding your breath, you slowly let your fingers fall down. Sucking in a gasp of air, he gazed into your nervous eyes and uttered earnestly, โ€œI love you too.โ€
Feeling lightheaded, you breathed, โ€œwhat?โ€
โ€œI love you,โ€ he repeated with a small chuckle as the words sank in.ย 
โ€œYouโ€“โ€ฆ you do?โ€
โ€œYeah, of course I do, I mean, how could I notโ€“,โ€ but he didnโ€™t get to gush any further as you feverishly grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss, an amazed giggle soon interrupting from your adoring lips.ย 
โ€œI love you,โ€ you smiled, planting a dozen pecks all over his face. His arms wrapped around your form and enveloped you in warmth as he contentedly rocked the both of you lightly in his embrace.ย 
โ€œI love you,โ€ he beamed as you gently raised your hips up and grabbed his twitching length, aligning it with your entrance, โ€œI loโ€“โ€ฆ loveโ€“โ€ฆย holy shit,โ€ he cursed as you slowly sank down on his fat girth.
The sensation of him stretching you out had a confusing cocktail of emotions flooding your system. It both felt so beyond amazing because it was him, it was Joel, but it also had your body trembling with the assault of tainted memories.
Your wide eyes eventually locked on his as you stilled in his lap, letting the warmth of his kind eyes ground you as you breathed, sounding like you were sucking in your very first breath, โ€œJoel,โ€ your chest rose and fell rapidly as your vision washed over his face.ย 
With one arm staying safely around your torso, the other hand drifted up to the side of your head, โ€œyeah, itโ€™s me, itโ€™s just me,โ€ lovingly taming your wild hair as you steadied your fevered breath.ย 
Feeling your body relax under his touch, your fluttering eyes darkened as you instinctively rolled your hips, โ€œJoel,โ€ watching his face contort beautifully as you grinded in his lap, letting his cock nuzzle in that much deeper.ย 
โ€œYeah, thatโ€™s it,โ€ the arm that was tangled around you snaked down so that the hand could supportively grip your backside, โ€œkeep saying my name, just like that,โ€ you then desperately picked up the pace, moaning intoxicatedly at the sound of his deep voice, โ€œitโ€™s just me, Iโ€™ve got you.โ€
Half of the time when his name left your lips, the mantra sounded utterly incoherent as your moans drowned it out, leaving the whispered prayer completely unrecognizable.ย 
Asking for permission with his gaze, he kept his eyes locked on yours as he lowered his head down enough to bury it in the swell of your tit, feeling his hot tongue swipe across your skin as his cock stretched you out so intoxicatingly.ย 
With one hand firmly aiding your fevered pace, the other one stayed right where your bodies met, swirling your swollen clit with a firmness that made it difficult for you to keep your hazy eyes open.ย 
โ€œJoel,โ€ you let him take over as you neared the end, surprising you with how effortlessly he bounced you in his lap, sloppy wet sounds filling the living room as your skin slapped against each other with every needy thrust, your juices undoubtedly dripping down onto the couch at this point. Whimpering as you clambered down around him, โ€œJoel,โ€ you nearly choked his dick to death as you came on his cock.
Your thighs trembled violently as he let out a string of beautifully lewd moans, holding you there and fucking your spasming pussy just a few more times before he pulled you back just enough for him to yank out his angry cock, pumping it quickly in his tight fist, his forearm flexing under the strain as hot ropes of cum spilt out and painted your heaving belly.ย 
โ€œFuck,โ€ he cursed, breathing heavy as he pulled you in to kiss your cheek. Draping both of his arms around you and holding you close, you felt his heartbeat thump against your chest as you slowly regained composure of your own ragged breathing, โ€œyou okay, Y/n?โ€ย 
โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆ I think soโ€ฆโ€ you blinked back at him, completely starry-eyed, โ€œoh my god, I love youโ€ฆโ€
โ€œI love you,โ€ he couldnโ€™t help the relieved, breathy chuckle that bubbled out of him, โ€œfuck, Iโ€™m so proud of you. Youโ€“, youโ€™reโ€“โ€ฆโ€ his eyes flicked across your face, his brain visibly melting at the way you looked back at him right now, โ€œchrist, I love youโ€ฆโ€
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In the bustle of your soft giggling, Tommy, smile still plastered on his lips, asked you unexpectedly, โ€œso, how long have you been seeing him?โ€
Nearly choking on your tea, you somehow managed to not spit out any of the hot liquid as you glared at him in shock, โ€œIโ€™m sorry,ย what?โ€
Taking a casual sip of his own mug, he said, โ€œmy brother,โ€ gloating as he lowered it again, smugly staring down into the cup, โ€œhow long have you been keeping it a secret?โ€
โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆโ€ you blinked, stunned a moment by how he could have found out, โ€œI havenโ€™t been keeping it a secret, I just havenโ€™t been advertising itโ€ฆโ€
Raising his brown eyes up to look at you, he asked you sincerely, โ€œyou happy?โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ a soft smile bloomed on your lips as it was now your turn to stare down at the amber beverage sloshing around in your cup, โ€œI think I am.โ€
โ€œGood,โ€ he nodded gently, โ€œand just for the record, he might be my big brother, but if he ever tries anything, I will not hesitate.โ€
โ€œWhat, are you gonna beat him up for me?โ€ you chuckled.ย 
โ€œMaybe,โ€ he drew out, your giggle causing him to smile, โ€œor maybe Iโ€™ll rat him out to Maria and sheโ€™ll make sure he gets kicked out.โ€ย 
โ€œYouโ€™d kick your own brother out of Jackson?โ€ your brows shot up in disbelief.ย 
โ€œIf he ever hurts you, yeah,โ€ he admitted, โ€œI love him, but youโ€™re my family too, and Jackson was your home way before it was his. You deserve dibs.โ€
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โ€œHey, Eugene,โ€ you greeted the scraggly man seemingly waiting outside of Mariaโ€™s office, โ€œhave you seen Joel? Did he come in with you?โ€
Eyes widening a moment at your sudden appearance, he straightened up and muttered, โ€œIโ€“,ย uh, I think heโ€™s probably checking up on Ellie, so you should over go there.โ€
โ€œUhm, no, I actually just checked there, just in case. She said she saw him ride in this morning, but hadnโ€™t heard from him since,โ€ fear suddenly flooding your senses as you asked tensely, โ€œis he okay? Did something happen? Is that why the shift took so long this time? Is he in the infirmary?โ€ย 
โ€œNo, no,โ€ he raised his inked hand up in reassurance, โ€œplum, heโ€™s fine, heโ€™s probably just busy or something.โ€
Looking him up and down, your head tilted slightly as you noticed just how tense he was and how his waiting in front of the door almost looked like he was guarding itโ€ฆ
โ€œWhy are you acting so weird?โ€
โ€œMe?โ€ he forced a chuckle, โ€œIโ€™m not acting weird. Just go home. If I spot him, then Iโ€™ll send him your way, promise.โ€ย 
โ€œWhatโ€™s going on in there?โ€ you nodded to the heavy door, firmly blocked by his frame.ย 
โ€œNothingโ€™s going on,โ€ he said a bit too quickly, โ€œI donโ€™t know what youโ€™re talking about.โ€
โ€œThen why are you guarding the door?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not guarding the door.โ€
โ€œOh, yeah?โ€ you squinted your eyes, huffing out a heated breath, โ€œthen let me in. Let me go talk to Maria.โ€
โ€œMariaโ€™s not in there right now.โ€
โ€œReally? Then who is?โ€ you asked, receiving nothing but silence, โ€œlet me in, Eugene.โ€
โ€œCanโ€™t do that, plum. Just do me a favour, go home, relaxโ€“โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t fucking tell me to relax,โ€ you roared, ripping your arm away as he tried to reach out for you.
Searching his tense eyes, your racing mind came to a conclusion quicker than the last grain of sand rushing through an hourglass, irreversible as your fist then suddenly came down upon his temple, knocking him out cold.ย 
As you creaked the door open, you heard Joelโ€™s low timbre before you saw him, โ€œIโ€™m gonna ask you nicely one last time, where is your group? We know that you moved, so where to?โ€ย 
Rounding the corner, your entire body froze in shock as you saw him kneeling in front of a bloodied man strapped to a chair, a man you never thought youโ€™d see again.ย 
โ€œFuck you, man,โ€ the beaten guy spat, โ€œI ainโ€™t saying shit.โ€ย 
A high-pitched, guttural wail erupted throughout the room as Joel twisted the knife logged in the manโ€™s thigh, his body shaking against the tight binds at the excruciating pain.ย 
โ€œPlum,โ€ Tommy, standing in the corner, gasped, though your eyes didnโ€™t falter their intense stare, didnโ€™t even blink, watching the familiar man cry out as the knife was yanked out.ย 
Whirling around in horror, Joel straightened up as soon as he saw you, attempting to block the person from your view, โ€œwhat are youโ€“โ€
But your hand promptly shot out, successfully warning them to stop talking. With your cold glare still locked on the dazed man, his bruised eyes slowly blinking open to look back at you, a disgusting grin immediately blooming on his bloodied face.ย ย 
โ€œAs I live and breathe,โ€ he snarled, the thick blood in his throat gurgling his sentence, โ€œthe bitch is backโ€ฆโ€ he scanned you lewdly, swollen eyes panning over your petrified form, โ€œgotta give it to you, slipping out from under our noses in the bustles of the move, that was pretty smart, though we all just assumed youโ€™d been ripped to shreds by a hoard of infected, but I see now that you still canโ€™t be killed. Resilient little cunt, this one is,โ€ he clicked his tongue, โ€œwhat, have you come back for more? Missed me that much?โ€
Slowly, your vision never wavering, you turned your palm up before your partner, finally peeling your eyes off the man for but a moment to shoot an icy glance at Joel, wordlessly asking him to give you the knife in his hand, still dripping with crimson.
โ€œI donโ€™t know if thatโ€™s the best ideaโ€“โ€ the rest of Tommyโ€™s timid words got crushed as you swiftly glared at him as if he was next.
Reluctantly, you eventually felt the weight of the weapon being placed in your open palm. With vile tickling the back of your throat, you slowly stepped closer to the restrained man, your jaw quivering as he continued to speak out of turn.ย 
โ€œReal shame that you never made it, never got to see Noahโ€™s big plan in person,โ€ it was such a short name, yet such a big wave that crashed into you, โ€œhe misses you, by the way,โ€ the man glanced up at you through his stringy blonde hair, clinging to his forehead, the very tips stained red by the blood oozing from his various nasty wounds, โ€œwe all miss youโ€ฆโ€
Your whole being felt completely numb, almost as if you were dreaming. Never letting your horrified glare falter, you lowered yourself down in front of him, getting on his level and crouching at his bound feet.ย 
With the knife heavy in your hand, your fingers tightened around the handle as he dared to utter smugly, โ€œyeah, thatโ€™s it,โ€ he tried to spread his thighs apart, โ€œyouโ€™ve missed your daddy, I can see itโ€ฆโ€
Wordlessly, your face still akin to a statue, you grabbed onto two of his grimy fingers and swiftly bent them back forcefully enough for there to sound a nasty crack. The sharp cry he let out didnโ€™t affect you in the slightest as you determinedly straightened the broken fingers back out. Notching the knife right beneath the knuckles, you looked him right in the eye and watched his face contort in agony as the sharp blade sliced clean through his digits, letting them roll onto the floor as he screamed.
Before he could catch his breath, you reached up and sliced one of his cauliflowered ears off, listlessly letting it tumble off and join the severed digits on the floor.
Unexpectedly, amidst all the grunts and groans, the vile man erupted in laughter, throwing his head back as the crimson spewed from his gashes, โ€œthat all you got? Come on,โ€ he had the nerve to wink at you, โ€œgive me a little sugar, dolly.โ€
He didnโ€™t deserve to just die. He didnโ€™t deserve that mercy. He deserved to understand. To be broken by the severity of his actions. To live out the rest of his days in agony knowing that no matter what he did, he would never be able to pay for what he had done, simply live in the consequential void of despair.
The bridge of your nose twitched as the tip of the blade sank into his groin, stabbing him repeatedly till your fervent strikes grew sloppy, angling up to his abdomen, and you were out of breath, panting as you watched the life leave his eyes.ย 
Still completely silent, you stayed there, staring at his lifeless expression, your shoulders heaving with every painful breath.ย 
Sluggishly, you pulled the weapon out of where it was still lodged in the manโ€™s lower stomach, shakily clutching it in your stained hand as you stood back up. Your knees nearly buckled from under you as you turned for the others to see your pale face, lumbering slowly towards the exit as if they werenโ€™t even there at all.ย 
As Joel carefully stepped closer to your slow-moving form, he didnโ€™t get to try anything as you swiftly dropped the blood-soaked knife back into his grasp and continued your painful trek out the door, not glancing up at his horrified face for even a moment.ย 
Breaking the deafening silence, Tommy warily said, โ€œhe never told us where theyโ€“โ€
Whirling around, the sharp slap that your numb palm planted across his cheek cut his sentence short, fury still alive in your cold eyes as you stared at your friend, struggling to comprehend that he had actually dared to pull something like this without your knowledge. That both of them had.
As you turned your back on them again, he cautiously continued to speak, โ€œyou could have just let us have two seconds with him, weโ€™d still have let you finish him off, if thatโ€™s what you wanted to.โ€
Your voice was hoarse as you finally spoke again, โ€œhe would have never told you where they are,โ€ facing the door, you revealed to them, โ€œand besides that, you didnโ€™t need him. I already know where they are.โ€
โ€œYou know?โ€ Tommy gasped, his wide eyes glued on you in surprise, โ€œthis whole time youโ€™ve known and havenโ€™t told us?โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not like you ever asked me,โ€ you uttered through your gritted teeth. Casting your piercing glare upon Joel, you said, โ€œso Iโ€™m guessing this is why your patrol shifts suddenly got unusually long, am I right?โ€ย 
Barely breathing at all, he answered hesitantly, โ€œโ€ฆyes.โ€
โ€œAnd does Maria even know?โ€
โ€œNot till a few hours ago,โ€ Tommy huffed out a pained sigh.ย 
โ€œWhat the fuck were you thinking? How could you even consider that any of this was something that Iโ€™d want? Why on earth did you take it upon yourselves to go out and get revenge?โ€ staring Joel down, you continued, โ€œdid you somehow think that it wouldโ€“,ย what, improve my sleep at night or just your own? Were you gonna come home one day and just goย congratulations, honey! They are all dead!ย Do you really think that would have helped me or are you truly just incapable of thinking with anything but your fists, getting your hands dirty because of something that has absolutely nothing to do with you?โ€ he averted his gaze as you got up in his face, โ€œI get that youโ€™re invested, that you want them to pay, but this isnโ€™t your choice to make,โ€ your finger poked his chest harshly, โ€œyou donโ€™t get to choose for me how or even if I want revenge. I get to choose that,ย me, not you,โ€ you gave him a heated shove, completely numb to the tears that streamed down your cheeks and muffled your words. With your chest heaving, watching as he didnโ€™t try to close the gap you had forced, you uttered, the exhaustion seeping through your sentence, โ€œthings were just starting to get better and then you go and drag me right back into it.โ€
With your vision still locked on Joel as he just stood there and took it all, Tommyโ€™s voice piped up once more, โ€œplum, justโ€“โ€ย 
Cutting him off, you set the record straight, โ€œIโ€™m not telling you.โ€
โ€œButโ€“โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you shot him a glare and repeated, โ€œIโ€™m not telling you where they are. This right here,โ€ you motioned between the brothers and ordered, โ€œit stops now. Whatever plan youโ€™ve been cooking up, forget it.โ€
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You lost count of how long, how many days, perhaps weeks, you locked yourself in your house.ย 
The unanswered knocks Joelโ€™s fist echoed on your front door soon evolved into him stubbornly planting himself out on your pouch each and every day.ย 
It wasnโ€™t till the day when someone came to supply you with some more food that you finally had to open the door and consequently be forced to face him once again.ย 
โ€œPlumโ€“,โ€ he sprung up from his seat on the wobbly bench as soon as you creaked the door open.ย 
You tried not to look at him as you swiftly bent down to snatch up the tupperware.ย 
โ€œGo away,โ€ you growled wearily.ย 
But your attempt at slamming the door shut failed as Joel swiftly stuck his solid boot in to block it, โ€œif you would please just let me explainโ€“โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you finally glared up at him as he pushed himself inside, โ€œjust please stop,โ€ briefly turning to set the food down, you then ripped the door back open as he tried to close it behind him, โ€œI donโ€™t wanna hear whatever excuse you have,โ€ you held it open for him to leave, โ€œnothing you can say will ever make me forgive what youโ€™ve done. Thatโ€™ll never happen,โ€ you sucked in a sharp breath as you blinked back into Joelโ€™s glossy gaze, โ€œIโ€“โ€ฆ I amย soย mad at youโ€ฆโ€ your gaze then fluttered shut as your breaths grew unsteady, โ€œso mad that I could easily do some very well deserved, yet regrettable things to youโ€ฆ but Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€ tears rolled down your cheeks as your eyes flickered back open to catch his stare, โ€œI love you,โ€ the phrase caused a rift to crack in your hard shell, โ€œI wonโ€™t forgive you, but I still love you.โ€
With a glint of hope twinkling in his eye, Joel took a step closer to you, though halted as you raised up a palm.ย 
โ€œBut if you ever so much as think about doing something like that again, Iโ€™ll cut your fucking balls off.โ€ย 
As he then seized the sides of your face, a wistful whimper fell from your lips. Moving slowly, ever so slowly, he simply stared back at you as he inched in closer.ย 
As soon as he pressed a gentle kiss to your mouth, an entrapped cry forced its way out of your form and even though the sensation was one you longed for, one that already began to mend your festering wound, your palms still found his broad chest and showed him back.ย 
โ€œYou should go,โ€ you uttered, your gaze falling to the floor as your fingers fluttered up to ghost over the fading memory of his peck.ย 
โ€œPlumโ€“โ€
Hoping that he hadnโ€™t noticed the already packed rucksack leaning up against the nearby wall, you whispered, โ€œplease donโ€™t make this any harder than it already is.โ€
But he still didnโ€™t move to exit out the open door, only tilted his head with terrified recognition and breathed, โ€œโ€ฆno,โ€ as the cold air blew in betwixt your frames, โ€œsweetheart, please donโ€™t do what think youโ€™re doing.โ€ย 
A low sigh flowed from you as you averted your gaze, incapable of denying his accusation, โ€œJoelโ€“โ€
โ€œTake me with you,โ€ he demanded, โ€œI wonโ€™t just stand here and let the woman that I love go out on a suicide mission on your own.โ€ย 
โ€œIโ€“,ย Joelโ€ฆโ€ you let out a wobbly whimper, โ€œI donโ€™t trust you enough right now to drag you along. I didnโ€™t even wanna do this, itโ€™s your fault, it was you who plunged me back into it, and now Iโ€“โ€ฆโ€ your words crumbled away as your stare faded out into nothingness, intentionally having to suck in a pained breath and fill up your lungs once more to you rip yourself out of the abyss, just enough to say, โ€œI just want it all to stopโ€ฆโ€ย 
Taking a step closer to you, he uttered, โ€œplease,โ€ and caught your palm, begging you to meet his gaze, โ€œlet me help you.โ€
As you stared back into his pleading eyes, you felt your ramped pulse begin to settle down, and not many moments managed to pass by before you opened your mouth once more, only needing the warm touch of his hand and the soothing presence of his gaze to flip your stubborn coin.ย 
โ€œโ€ฆthey call itย Paradise, the place where they moved their group. Itโ€™s somewhere down in Arizonaโ€ฆโ€
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ยฉ 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble
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mr-and-mr-mitchell ยท 5 months ago
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Shows that got cancelled despite being good, popular, and having tonnes of potential to go on to become classics:
Kaos - 1 season - Netflix - Ends with set up for a following season
Shadow and Bone - 2 seasons - Netflix - Season 3 was already mostly written when cancelled
My Lady Jane - 1 season - Amazon Prime - Story not resolved, set up for a second season (in fact the show shows you what's supposed to happen in the second season)
Half-Bad: The Bastard Child and the Devil Himself - 1 Season - Netflix - Main story wrapped up but easily open enough for a second series exploring the world
Star Wars: The Acolyte - 1 season - Disney Plus - First series feels mostly like set up for a second series we'll now never get
Dead Boy Detectives - 1 season - Netflix - Set up for a second series with a minor cliff hanger and an open continuation for the characters
Lockwood and Co - 1 season - Netflix - Potential for a second season
I Am Not Okay With This - 1 season - Netflix - Story not properly resolved, needed a second season
National Treasure: Edge of History - 1 season - Disney Plus - Story concluded, but lots of potential for a second season
Gentleman Jack - 2 Seasons - HBO Max/BBC - So much more potential, it had so much real life basis it could have followed
Our Flag Means Death - 2 Seasons - HBO Max - I actually liked the ending we got, but I feel like the show had more potential, particularly with the crew
First Kill - 1 season - Netflix - (Not one I watched, it was on my tbw but it got cancelled and I didn't see the point)
Grease: Rise of The Pink Ladies - 1 season - Disney Plus - So much more potential And Insult to injury they've all but wiped it from the platform
A running theme for these shows are that they have a pretty high amount of LGBT rep, with a lot of these shows centering on queer characters and stories, as well as representation for POC. There are also a lot of fantasy/supernatural shows.
I just find it fascinating that there seems to be a lot of similarities between most of these shows.
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tarohugs ยท 5 months ago
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after you find out they cheated (nct dream)
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โ–บot7 x reader
โ–บ angst!! some (very minute) fluff, cliff hangers..
โ–บread part 1 here!
โ–บa/n part 2 as requested!! although this was def not what some wanted i think this turn off events is much better. please enjoy and lmk if u do
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MARK
After the dispatch rumors, Markโ€™s name trended on social media for the remainder of the month. Seeing his face constantly had upset you tremendously to the point where you had to mute his name and every nickname given to the boy.ย 
You two had not talked since he admitted to you over text he had cheated. He made many attempts to come over and make amends but to no avail, you paid no remorse to his actions. Truthfully, Mark was the love of your life and you dearly wanted to give him a chance considering he was trying his best to set forth with your relationship, but something about you couldnโ€™t let him off so easily.ย 
Throughout the course of your relationship with Mark, he had always said you โ€œwere the oneโ€ and you shared many intimate moments together. Now, as you watch him through your doorbell camera making his final attempt at reconciling, you decide it is time to finally communicate your true feelings.ย 
He had approached your front door with flowers and a box of your favorite chocolates along with other of your most beloved items you enjoyed. His eyes swelled with tears as he began to stutter words when you opened the front door.ย 
โ€œY-y/n,โ€ Mark faltered in shock that you opened the door before he even had the chance to knock. โ€œI have a lot to explain, just please listen-โ€
You laughed, surprised he thought he even had a chance, โ€œMark, you know what you did was wrong and nothing can change that. Look, I didnโ€™t answer to hear you out, I answered to tell you Iโ€™m over you and to stop bothering me.โ€ Your eyes watered as you made eye contact with the boy that was once your lover.
โ€œYou know itโ€™s just Dispatch,โ€ he asserted, โ€œNone of that was the truth, you know this. Please, just listen to me, I can explain everything to you even if you donโ€™t want to hear it. Donโ€™t just throw away years of us for something so stupid.โ€
You gasped, shocked that he would claim this was stupid, โ€œThereโ€™s nothing to explain to me, you fucked up and this is over. None of the shit Iโ€™ve seen about you this month was stupid. Iโ€™m not dumb, Mark, donโ€™t treat me like this. You donโ€™t deserve a second chance.โ€
Mark tried to speak again but you immediately shut him down with the palm of your hand signaling him to stop. Maybe you would give him a chance another day but this wasnโ€™t the time. You never accepted the gifts from him as you shut the door in his face.ย 
As months went on after your final encounter with Mark, he made no other attempts to reunite with you, accepting you were ready to move on to someone better. No texts, no knocking on your door, no phonecalls, no contact at all. Your life with Mark was over for good.
RENJUN
When Renjun had admitted to you he cheated, you didnโ€™t believe his words at first. He had to be joking, I mean who was he to cheat anyways? He was always loyal to you and never failed to ensure you were the number one thing in his life. What could possibly bring him to cheat on you?
โ€œRenjun, what are you talking about?โ€ you questioned, trying to come up with some explanation for his infidelity.ย 
He couldnโ€™t look you in the eyes as he confessed, โ€œYou know Yeji? My new coworker? We were at a holiday party and I was drunk and you know how the rest played out.โ€
You couldnโ€™t believe his words. Renjun was always the type to inform you of every event in his life. When he had told you about his annual holiday work parties, he always invited you, this year was the first you had heard nothing. As you came to the realization why, you finally connected the dots.ย 
Even though Renjun excused himself by offering that he was drunk, this wasnโ€™t a drunken mistake. Renjun was intentional with his actions. If he had intended not to invite you in the first place, his objective was clear he was trying to get in Yejiโ€™s pants.ย 
Not a single bone in your body felt remorse for the boy as you came to comprehend his efforts to cheat on you. โ€œGet out,โ€ you stated strictly, offering no emotion for Renjun to crack.
โ€œY/n, just give me a chance. Iโ€™ll make it up to you,โ€ he began to plead, clutching his fingers together to create a dramatic effect. Nothing could make you forgive him.
โ€œRenjun, you knew what you did. Youโ€™re better than this and I deserve better than whatever is going on with you,โ€ you attempted to excuse his infidelity. Renjun had always been truthful with you and although his activities were clear, you had wanted to give him a chance despite your brain telling you not to.ย 
Renjun simply nodded your head at your statement, beginning to get out of your once shared bed and gather his belongings. He didnโ€™t speak a word as he stuffed his suitcase full other than, โ€œIโ€™ll get the rest of my things later.โ€ He didnโ€™t though, after that night he had left for good.
He never texted you to gather his possessions or make amends. You went on for weeks of no contact and eventually trashed his uncollected belongings due to the high level of emotion they caused you. Not wanting to make the first text, you waited and waited for him to make a move.
Eventually your waiting had done you justice has you finally received a message from your ex-boyfriend.
renjun: y/n
renjun: letโ€™s talk
JENO
After many failed attempts of trying to make Jeno offer some sort of apology for his actions, he eventually started ghosting you as a whole. You couldnโ€™t believe he could once be so loving and switch so easily to being the toxic ex-boyfriend he would shame before.ย 
The I love youโ€™s turned into Leave me aloneโ€™s as you constantly tried to confront him. During the course of your relationship, you two had moved in together and when he cheated on you he made no attempt to move out - simply inviting other girls over without a care in the world.ย 
Luckily, you two had separate rooms but this didnโ€™t change the fact you could still hear the banging of his bedframe against the wall from one of his many one night stands. One night you had gotten so agitated by his thoughtless actions and confronted him about what was going on.
โ€œJeno,โ€ you barged into his room, interrupting whatever fuck he had going on. โ€œIโ€™ve had enough of this.โ€
He pushed the half-naked girl off of him, slowly making his way to throw on a shirt, telling the girl to leave. She scoffed at you limiting her time with Jeno but quickly put on her scattered clothes, leaving your shared apartment. โ€œY/n, what the fuck is your problem,โ€ he expressed angrily, clearly upset that you would interrupt such an intimate moment.
โ€œLook Jeno, I donโ€™t know what the fuck is going on with you, but Iโ€™ve had enough of it. Either you stop with this or you leave. You were the one that fucked up. Figure out your life,โ€ you finally stood your ground. Jeno had always been dominant in your relationship, and after your โ€œbreak-upโ€ this prevailed.ย 
He constantly made you feel bad about yourself, blaming you for โ€œnot being good enoughโ€ as the reason he had to cheat on you. Yeah, this hurt like hell. However, you were desperate to make Jeno love you again, even if he had acted so wrongly.ย 
Jeno rolled his eyes at your scolding, โ€œIf you want me out y/n, so be it. Just know I wonโ€™t come back.โ€ He shut the door in your face as you listened to him slam drawers and punch the wall in anger.
You ran back to your room and shut the door behind you, sliding down it as tears began to blind your eyes. What had happened to Jeno?ย 
The next morning you woke up with no trace of Jeno to be found. He offered no explanation for what had changed him so tremendously but you figured you would find out when you received a knock on the door from Jaemin, Jenoโ€™s best friend.
You answered the door reluctantly, scared Jaemin would make a comment on your puffy eyes and dishelved features. โ€œJaemin, whatโ€™s wrong?โ€ you questioned, taking in his appearance. He seemed to be in the same situation as you, noticing his freshly awoken demeanor.
โ€œY/n, we need to talk. Itโ€™s about Jeno,โ€ he sighed, stepping into your apartment.
HAECHAN
When Haechan saw the look on your face after you discovered him cheating, endless apologies left his mouth. He had never seen you so upset and angry with him, he admitted he deserved your backlash.ย 
Even though he was quick to beg for your forgiveness, you never offered it to him, opting to move on instead. You were petty and getting back together with Haechan would not be the power move.ย 
Although you had made it clear you were over Haechan, you never made an official attempt at breaking up with him. Instead, you had simply ghosted him as you didnโ€™t want to make any contact with your so-called ex-boyfriend. This, instead, led you to have even more difficulties moving on as you felt remorse hooking up with other men due to some sort of tie still being connected to the boy.
Months went by and all the efforts you made to sleep with random strangers were ruined as you felt a constant cloud of guilt hanging over you. You tried to get over him by getting blackout drunk at random parties, knowing sober you would make no effort to move on. You were unsuccessful most nights but one night you were finally convinced it was your time.ย 
Unfortunately, the guy that you landed with in bed was only victorious due to the similar features he shared with Haechan. His hair, his voice, his eyes - everything reminded you of him. Yeah, you had technically not gotten over him, but it was a start!
You were gracious enough to recognize this was a lead in the right direction as you had finally slept with another guy since your relationship with Haechan โ€œended.โ€ Though, as you began to sober up as you awoke from your one night stand, you couldnโ€™t help but notice the man in your bed appeared too close to Haechan.ย 
As you took a closer look, your suspicions were confirmed. You were back to square one.
JAEMIN
Following the numerous days you had left your shared apartment with Jaemin, he began to grow concerned for your being and where you were staying. You had opted to reside in your best friend's house as she was the only one kind enough to offer you a place to stay.
Jaemin knew you lacked options to inhabit for the time being and was quick to conclude your location. No longer than two days of you staying there, Jaemin had made his way into her apartment with a bouquet of roses, reciting the speech of apologies for you to hear.
โ€œY/n,โ€ he sighed, moving closer to you when you opened the front door, โ€œI know you want nothing to do with me, but I have a lot of explaining to do. Iโ€™m so sorry for getting upset at you, you did nothing wrong. Please forgive me.โ€
You laughed in his face. Did he really think you would forgive him so easily? โ€œJaemin, I canโ€™t believe you right now. You owe me a lot more than this,โ€ you asserted.
He knew you would be reluctant to accept his expression of regret but he knew he could convince you no matter what it would take. โ€œIโ€™m willing to do whatever it takes,โ€ he breathed, handing you the flowers, โ€œplease give me another chance. Iโ€™ll show you the world.โ€
Itโ€™s crazy to think the way his final sentence could be perceived so differently. Once you had viewed the words as a way of him expressing his love, now it was simply his manipulating attempt to win you over.
Although you were upset with Jaemin for his actions, you couldnโ€™t hate him. You had loved him for months on end and it would be difficult to get over such emotions in such a short time period. You allowed his manipulation to work on you as you offered him a second chance.ย 
You two continued your relationship for months, rebuilding the connection you once had, this time with more caution. As you began to fall in love again, you couldnโ€™t help but wonder who the girl he had cheated on you with had been. This prompted you to begin searching his phone for clues on who the mistress could possibly be.ย 
When you arrive upon your best friend's name in his recent text messages, you ponder what the two would be conversing. As you scroll through their texts and see the endless meetups and shared intimate texts, the story finally clicked into place.
CHENLE
After Eric had shown you the texts he shared with Chenle, he was quick to console you over your ex-boyfriend. You had scheduled a meetup with Chenle immediately after and broke up with him, offering no time for an explanation from him. Eric and Yuna had been good friends of yours for years, you knew everything they told you was the truth with no sugarcoating.
As time went on, you and Ericโ€™s relationship began to prosper into something more, sharing many endless night together but never making it further than a few stolen kisses. A couple weeks after your break up with Chenle, Eric had attempted to ask you on a date but you were quick to deny him stating that it was too early for him to make a move.ย 
โ€œY/n, I donโ€™t understand. Were those drunken nights nothing to you?โ€ Eric questioned, angered you could deny him so easily.ย 
You shook your head, upset that he would be so ignorant to ignore your emotions. โ€œYou know I just got out of a relationship, Eric, those nights meant something Iโ€™m just not ready for commitment yet.โ€ Truthfully you never felt much for him when you were dating Chenle, but due to his chivalrous acts of exposing your cheating boyfriend, you had gained some attachment to the boy.ย 
Eric accepted your explanation but still attempted to win you over multiple nights in a row. Eventually, you fell into his trap and accepted going on a date with him. As you delved into a new relationship with Eric, you couldnโ€™t help but feel as though something was off.ย 
Yuna wasnโ€™t very supportive of your relationship after a couple weeks of being with him. She noticed a change in your attitude and offered no reasoning of why she further began to distance yourself from you two. The three of you were inseparable for years so you figured she was just beginning to adjust to being a third wheel.
Though something about Yunaโ€™s lack of support for your relationship with Eric struck a nerve inside you, you couldnโ€™t help but feel there was an underlying message behind her actions. When you received a message from the girl, you were in for a ride.
yuna!!!: donโ€™t hate me but eric lied about chenle
JISUNG
Accidentally live streaming is one thing, having a girl speaking in the background is another. Netizens were quick to spread rumours about who the mysterious voice was in Jisungโ€™s accidental live stream. You were also curious as to know what Jisung was truly doing in that moment of vulnerability, but when you sent him various concerned and aggravated messages, you realized none of your texts were delivered to his phone. Jisung had blocked you.
Being an idol means strict punishment from companies - and under the circumstances Jisung had fucked up, he was in for trouble. Of course his managers were aware Jisung was dating you, so they were quick to assume the mystery girl was you. Due to this, they were punished Jisung by banning all contact he had with you. This led you to having no reasoning for what was going on that day.ย 
You attempted to contact his members but they made no effort to offer you any explanation either, most likely scared they, too, would get in trouble. If you werenโ€™t terrified of the company, you would reach out to his managers yourself, but you had heard of the things they did to idols and you didnโ€™t want to risk any chance of communication you had with Jisung.
After months of no contact with the boy, you finally began to accept he wouldnโ€™t be returning back to your life any time soon; however, when you received a letter in the mail from Park Jisung, a sliver of hope ran through your veins that this chapter of worrying would finally come to an end.ย 
As you opened and read the handwritten letter he had graciously sent, your eyes began to shed tears. In his heartfelt letter, he sent numerous apologies and explained the girl in the video had been one of his cousins, he was simply hanging out with family and didnโ€™t tell you because he wanted to surprise you with a gift she had intended on giving you.
Although you were reluctant to believe such a fallacy, you knew Jisung better than anyone else, he had to be telling the truth. The only problem was, that there was no way to contact Jisung other than via the mail. Even though you had found out the truth, what was the cost?
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aviiarie ยท 3 months ago
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Hiiiii, if you don't mind, can I please ask for something romantic with Blade in a soulmates au? Being his soulmate seems like such a doomed concept, lol
โ€œ๐ˆ๐ ๐“๐‡๐„ ๐๐„๐—๐“ ๐‹๐ˆ๐…๐„.โ€ โ€” feat. blade.
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synopsis. you are blade's soulmate. and you pay the price for it, over and over again.
โœฆ contents. tw: slightly graphic blood & violence, and a lot of death. soulmates au. gn!reader. angst, no comfort. slightly open-ended. 1.8k words.
โœฆ notes. requested by anon for my event! i saw the words 'soulmates' and 'doomed' and didn't think twice. um this kind of ends on a cliff-hanger? or unsatisfyingly at least. that was intentional btw. idk how happy i am with how it turned out though.
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The day Blade met you for the very first time, was the day you bled out in his arms.ย 
You were a stranger; a forgettable face, amidst a sea of even more forgettable faces. There was no reason for him to care when he heard your scream, cutting across the battlefield like a siren. The sound melted into the clamour of scraping metal and wounded cries, as easily as a single note of a flute disappears within a symphony.
And yet, it made him pause.ย 
His own sword was slick with blood, having already carved a gruesome path across the battlefield. There were bodies at his feetโ€“some still wheezing out their final breaths, others already goneโ€“but it was you who caught his attention. The cry was harrowing, rendering every other noise forgotten.
The haze in his vision began to clear, the mara loosened its hold, and for the first time in a while he felt something odd: clarity.
A strange, prickly sensation settled a layer beneath his skin, urging him to go, find them, help them, help them, help them. It was as if his limbs were tied with puppet strings, forcing him into a run towards the source of the scream. All around him, the fighting continued, but no one paid him any mind as he tore through the battle.
He found you on the other side of the field, lying on the grass with a closed fist pressed to your side. An arc of red dripped from your fingers to the ground, forming a sickly puddle under your shredded armour. As he fell to his knees by your side, compelled by something he couldnโ€™t properly describe if he tried, you looked up and met his eye, mouth falling open.
โ€œOhโ€ฆโ€ You murmured, gazing at him like he was an angel. โ€œOhโ€ฆ oh, I didnโ€™t knowโ€ฆ itโ€™s you.โ€
Bladeโ€™s throat tightened, as he glanced between your watery eyes and the wound you were holding. He didnโ€™t understand it; he was a witness to death more times than he could count, the source of it in many instances. There was no reason for your death to be any different, so why did he feel like he was going to throw up?
โ€œItโ€™s you, isnโ€™t it?โ€ You choked up, tears welling in your eyes. The sight made him sick. โ€œSoulmate?โ€
Soulmate. A foreign concept, but one he was acquainted with. It was intertwined with Destiny itself, written into the scripts that โ€˜heโ€™ pored over so obsessively.
โ€œSoulmate?โ€ He croaked out. You smiled weakly, reaching out your free hand to touch his cheek.
โ€œSoulmate,โ€ You agreed, moving to rest your palm on his chest, right over the spot where his heart was pounding. โ€œYou feel it too, donโ€™t you? Theโ€ฆ the feeling pulling us together?โ€
He did. All of the puppet stringsโ€“destiny, fate, or whatever they were to be calledโ€“were pulling him towards you. Blade nodded stiffly, and you breathed out a wheezing laugh.
โ€œS-So thatโ€™s it, thenโ€ฆโ€ You sighed, releasing your hold on your wound and letting your arms fall loose like a ragdoll. Without your fist blocking his view, Blade could see just how bad the injury was. โ€œIโ€™ve always wanted to meet you. I was scared I was going to die before I did. Butโ€ฆ I guess this is fineโ€ฆโ€
โ€œNoโ€ฆโ€ Blade murmured, every sense in his body screaming at him to save them, help them, soulmate, soulmate, soulmate. โ€œNoโ€ฆ you canโ€™t die. Not when Iโ€™ve just met you.โ€
Itโ€™s a laugh that you responded with, but the sound was bittersweet. โ€œI donโ€™t think I have a choice.โ€ย 
โ€œNo!โ€ Bladeโ€™s voice was desperate. โ€œNo, no. There has to be another way.โ€
โ€œMeet me again, okay? In the next lifeโ€ฆโ€ You coughed weakly, blood dribbling down the corner of lips and down your chin. Blade gently wipes away the streak of red, brushing his thumb over your cheek. โ€œB-Buy me flowersโ€ฆ take me out for dinner... and weโ€™ll try again.โ€
โ€œNoโ€ฆโ€ Blade mumbled. He tugged you into his arms, so you were practically splayed out across his lap. Another cough worked its way past your lips, and he pulled you even closer. โ€œPleaseโ€ฆโ€
โ€œNext timeโ€ฆโ€ You breathed out. Your chest rose and fell with every breath stuttered out, slowly and weakening, until it stopped altogether.ย 
โ€”
When Blade meets you again, you are not a soldier. Your face has changed, as well your hairstyle and attire, but the insistent tug in his chest is the exact same feeling he felt all those years ago. Even in a crowded town square, on a planet he couldnโ€™t remember the name of, the outline of your soul glows in his mind, shining like a beacon.
He stops in his tracks, scanning the shops and stalls on either side to find some trace of the soul he sensed. You were so close, he could practically reach out and grasp your hand, and yet he couldnโ€™t quite pinpoint where.
There.
He broke into a run, his mission left far behind as he followed his instincts. They pulled him through the crowd, by shopkeepers and civilians that grumbled as he pushed past, leading to a cozy flower stand at the end of the street.
You look up at his approach, almost dropping the flowers in your hands. Your mouth is agape, and your eyes are teary, but there is familiarity staring back at him.
โ€œOh, itโ€™s you. I was wondering when I would meet you,โ€ You laugh, and Bladeโ€™s heart soars.
Itโ€™s a blur, the conversation that follows. He learns your name, and he learns you are nothing more than a merchant selling flowers. Quietly, he is grateful for the humble life you seemed to be leading. It was nothing like your previous self, in all your bloodstained, armour-clothed glory, and he couldnโ€™t be more thankful.
โ€œTell me about yourself, though.โ€ You finally pause your rambling, smiling with flushed cheeks. โ€œIโ€™ve talked about myself enough. What about you?โ€
โ€œIโ€ฆโ€ Blade trails off, considering what he could say. His life was one that was long and wrought with destruction, and you were a perfectly unblemished flower, whose petals would crumple under his touch. Seeking you out was selfish enough, letting you carve his place in your life would only taint it.ย ย 
โ€œI am unimportant. Youโ€™d best not be concerned about who I am.โ€ Blade says simply, moving slightly away, so you were out of his reach.ย โ€œI need to leave.โ€
You frown, stepping closer. โ€œThatโ€™s not fair. Donโ€™t I get to know your name, at least? Soulmate?โ€
โ€œYou may call me Blade,โ€ He says, without any more explanation. โ€œI must be going.โ€
โ€œW-Wait!โ€ You call out, breaking out of your stupor to catch his sleeve. As he turns, you press a delicate white lily into his hands. โ€œTake this. When it wiltsโ€ฆ find me again, and Iโ€™ll give you a new one.โ€
Blade stares at the flower, running a thumb down the stem and over the soft petals. It is dainty, fragile. In his hands, it would only be ruined.
And yet, he tucks it into his sleeve anyway.
You smile at him as he leaves, something sad in your eyes that he doesnโ€™t have the heart to unravel. As he turns his back, he can still feel your gaze on his retreating form, watching as he disappears into the street.
It ends, predictably.
He is a half-second too late, feeling the drop in his stomach a moment before he sees your body fall to the ground. He lunges forward, falling by your side. The assailantโ€“masked, armed, and a damn cowardโ€“is already running.ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ He mutters. There are hot, angry tears in his eyes, threatening to spill over. It was only a week after he saw you for the first time, but heโ€™d been keeping his distance, hoping if he stayed far enough away he could spare you from misfortune. But fate is cruel, and it tips back its head and laughs as he crumples over your body.
A part of him is screaming to run after your attacker, to spill his organs all over the pretty paved streets, just as he has spilled your blood over them, but the idea of leaving your side hurts.ย 
โ€œStay with me,โ€ He begs, holding onto your wound, as if there was any way to staunch the bleeding. It was no use, the blade had pierced your chest too precisely. If you werenโ€™t already gone, you would be soon.
You shakily clasp your hand around his wrist, mumbling out a few words. โ€œSee youโ€“See you next time, Blade.โ€
โ€”
It carries on in a similar manner, for the next few centuries. Every lifetime Blade finds you (he stops counting, after a while), and it ends the same way. After a while, all of the lifetimes blur together, until he can barely tell which is which.
In some, you are a warrior as violent as himself. In others, you are an artist. In some, he finds you, and in others, you find him. The only common thread, the one thing that connects every one, is your inevitable demise.
He stops trying to seek you out. When he feels the tug on his chest, he ignores his instincts and walks the other way, hoping to let the memory of you fade, so you may live your lives parallel to each other; close, but never meeting. Somehow, you manage to find him every time anyway, and before he knows it, his vow to keep his distance is tossed aside.
This time though, he doesnโ€™t even get a chance to meet you.ย 
He feels you againโ€“the phantom pull, the burning in his soulโ€“and all thoughts of his mission are forgotten. The feeling of his sword is heavy in his hands, but it is nothing compared to the sinking in his chest.
Something was wrong.
This time, he doesnโ€™t wait. He does not pause, he doesnโ€™t think about the way he will be reprimanded for straying from his target. He only thinks of you.
The thought leads him through a massacre, decorating the cobbled streets with crimson. The path itself is pathed with bloodshed, littered with corpses in various states of dismemberment. The longer he walks, the more it becomes clear that he isnโ€™t looking for a person this time; he is looking for a body. There is no life he can sense around him, but your connectionโ€“feeble, and waning as it may beโ€“urges him forward.ย 
Finally, it stops him right before one.
The sight of your corpse, as mangled and gruesome as it may be, no longer fazes him. He stands, pausing long enough to pay his respects, before retreating with a heaviness in his steps.
He will meet you again, in the next life.
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๐Ÿท๏ธ taglist: @tragedy-of-commons, @mollzaj, @mikashisus, @starcharmed.
ยฉ aviiarie 2024. do not copy, repost, translate or use my work to train ai
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brookediamonds ยท 4 months ago
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i can't do well when i think you're gonna leave me, but i know i try (alternate ending)
(a/n: i couldn't wait ๐ŸŒš here is the alternate ending where it continues at the final day of the tournament featuring the big brawl. part of me didn't want to release because of cliffhanger ending in the show and i haaaaate to write off an episode with a cliff hanger like that but figured y'all would enjoy either ending so do with this what you will lol)
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not my gif
"Ready?" Robby stood along the doorframe from the locker room. You placed your bracelet back in your gym bag, and stood up from your spot.
"Always," you respond confidently.
You and Robby stood still for a second an unspoken matter needing to be brought up.
"From this moment on he is our opponent," you spoke up. "You give it your all, and win this for you and Tory."
"Thank you, (Y/n)," Robby says his green eyes softening.
"Let's do this for our team," you finish.
"Absolutely," your co-captain agrees. The two of you make your way to your team, you and Robby warming up with kata warm up routine.
The tournament soon began, your thoughts swindling around. You weren't nervous, no you were an anxious thinker.
Pacing wasn't your thing, you stood calmly arms behind your back, thoughts whirling.
Mr. LaRusso see's your state, walking over to you.
"Here we are," your sensei approaches you. Mr. LaRusso had watched you grow up learning, much like your father, you thrived with a fire lit beneath you. While you may look calm on the outside, he knew your mind was running a mile a minute.
"I know you're not nervous, I see that look already on your face," Daniel points out. You chuckle, knowing your look of determination was not to get confused with worry.
"Use that peacefulness you carry to balance out your edge, Tory is a great fighter but you have the heart of a champion and soul of warrior, you can do this," Sensei LaRusso encourages you.
You nod taking in his words, remembering this is the man whose watched you grow up and took you beneath his wing when your dad died. You were eternally grateful to have him in your corner.
Daniel reaches out to squeeze your shoulder, a small smile on his face.
"Your dad would be so proud of you, you know that right?" Your sensei states making your heart swell in your chest.
"Thank you, Mr. LaRusso," you pout at his affirmation.
"We're proud of you," Sam comes up next to her dad. While it was hard to fight your best friend for the title captain, you two never lost sight of what mattered most more than the competition.
You never lost the love you held for each other. Sharing a hug with your second family, Kwon wins his match indicating Zara and Maria were up.
Studying Zara's every movement and technique you take note to her mistakes and weaknesses, the little she has, but burn them into your memory.
You didn't forget what she had done to you, try to make something it wasn't. If there was one thing that peeved you it was someone pretending to know your life.
And you wouldn't stand for it.
Robby and Axel were now up, the nerves settling in now. You may not be nervous for Tory but you were anxious about this fight because it included your co-captain and your...boyfriend?
You applauded and cheered your teammate on with others as they each approach the mat. As the fight began, Robby started with offense, kicking, punching, but nothing was landing.
Axel restricted every move, you'd think he could read Robby's mind.
"His defense it on point, Robby can't get through," you hear Mr. LaRusso panic.
Your heart sank as you watched Robby slightly lose balance after being blocked off. Axel was untouchable.
"Axel!" Sensei Wolf calls out to his student. They make eye contact, a look of understanding between them making you shudder. His sensei yells something you can't understand, but you could only imagine what it meant because it was happening right in front of you.
It was a look of control.
Your mouth fell open as you witness Axel switch from defense to attack mode instantly earning him one point.
"Shit. His offense is even better," Sensei Lawerence curses.
Your breath hitched in your throat as Robby twisted his neck, blood spilling from his mouth from the impact of Axel's fist.
"Point!"
No.
"Defense, Robby!" You yell over the eruption of celebration from the other team. Axel's eyes make eye contact with yours briefly.
Axel moves towards Robby, moving to continue the fight, Robby fighting back with each block. You held your breath as Robby defended himself, his opponent getting irritated.
The tall boy held Robby by his Gi, tugging him close.
"Are you going to keep defending? Or are you going to fight?" Axel then throws your teammate into Cobra Kai's team, making everyone perk up.
"Hey!"
"Come on!"
Your sensei's shouted at the unnecessary move, a wave of disappointment running through you. Sam glanced over you, knowing this was the moment you had been dreading.
Suddenly Robby was kneeled over, Kwon being one of the guys he fell into, elbowed him in the ribs making Miguel step on the mat.
"Hey!"
Not thinking, Axel turns around and immediately pushes your other teammate down making you step between them.
"What the hell's your problem huh?" Miguel seethes over your shoulder. Just past Axel, you take notice to Zara who smirked with satisfaction at the new development between the three of you.
"Guys, don't!" You shout keeping your hand on Axel's chest to hold him back.
"Stop this!" You hear the announcer over the microphone.
"What are you doing?!" You yelled shoving Axel back again making him look down at you. His eyes recognize the fire he sees behind your orbs when you fight, not liking it on him.
"I- I thought-" He struggled to grasp his words.
"Everyone off the mat now, or this tournament-"
It was like time slowed down as you watched Gunther get knocked out from the team's sensei that was eliminated yesterday.
Their sensei yelled something in Russian, fist raised causing a chaos to erupt. All eliminated teams swarmed on to the mat, taking their opportunity to prove they belonged.
"I do not want to fight you," Axel exclaims to Miguel.
"Me neither," Miguel agrees moving back from the two of you.
A member from Dublin Thunder suddenly makes their way towards you, Axel swiftly trading places with you as the other guy attempted to kick you down.
"Go find Robby and Sam!" You shout over to Miguel. He nods running to find your friends as you were suddenly swept on to the ground.
"You don't deserve to be in the finals," a girl apart of the Udar Tiger team stood over you, placing a foot on your chest.
"You don't either," you spat before using your other leg to kick the back if her head making her fall forward.
It was a battle to say the least. After every encounter came another person, and another. You and Axel protected each other from the array of teenagers wanting to take you both down.
You came back to back to with Axel, his hand entangling in yours.
"You go help your friends, I will watch your back," he assures you as someone else attempted to strike you both. You saw Robby, Tory, and Sam fighting off the Iron Dragons, the adrenaline shooting through your system.
"Be safe," you wish him. He squeezed your hand, watching you go fight his teammates. You punch and kick your way through the crowd, finally seeing your team.
You see Kwon kick Sam down, making you fume. Running up to the angry boy to catch momentum, you jump kick him down making you both fall to the ground.
"You're in my way," Kwon hisses as you both scrambled to stand up. As the two of you began to fight, Axel watched out of the corner of his eye making sure you hadn't needed his help.
As another member of Cobra Kai kicked your backside making you tumble forward on to your knees, Kwon took the opportunity to lift your head up and bring your face down to his knee.
The world around Axel turned red as he watched your form go limp on to the mat.
The Croatian boy didn't hesitate to drop whomever he was battling to fight off your attacker. With in an instant, Axel pulled Kwon into him making sure to effectively knee him the way he had to you.
When Axel had knocked Kwon down into the camera that was capturing the brawl, he fell to your side, helping you stand up slowly. Blood trickled down your nose, Axel's thumb rubbing it off as you winced at the pressure.
"Thank you," you whimpered holding on to his arm that kept you steady.
Before Axel could respond, he suddenly shoved you behind him, as Kwon attacked him once again. This time Kwon held something...
Your blood ran cold as you recognize the object. It was a dagger,
"No!" You shouted as they jumped to kick, Axel swept his leg making Kwon fall face down on to the mat and on to the knife.
The sound of Kwon's blood curling scream filled the arena making everyone come to a stop. It was a disturbing sight as the dark maroon substance pooled around the lifeless boy.
You stumbled over to Axel who stood in shock like everyone else, his hand finding yours in an instant.
Mr. LaRusso approached Kwon's body carefully, his voice coming out shaky.
"Kwon?" Your sensei carefully turns the boy over only to reveal him to be dead.
You hand shot up to your mouth, it was hard to digest the scene in front of you. A boy, someone's son had died over karate. And all for what?
You thought you were here to share your passion, to share your love for the sport. Not die for it.
Everyone shared the same look of remorse knowing this had gone too far.
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Taglist: @karmaswitch @fallout-girl219 @babylambdietcoke
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heytheredelulu ยท 1 year ago
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ready to comply part 2? ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘ˆ
As you wish!
I may have left this one on a cliff hanger as well. ๐Ÿซฃ
Iโ€™M SORRY! I was just having so much fun I had to leave it open in case there was interest for a part three. โค๏ธ
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Ready to Comply - Part Two
Requested by @littleone2001
Soldat!Bucky Barnes x PlusSized!Reader
Word Count: 1.7k
ALL OF MY WORK IS 18+
C/W: Language, discussion/implications of violence and murder, gun play (sorry, not sorry), unprotected sex, rough sex, a lil boob slap (once, because I had to), spanking, fingering (f receiving), anal fingering (f receiving), brief discussion of kidnapping/making reader his sex slave
โœ๏ธ A/N at the end.
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โ€œAll I can smell is how wet you are.โ€
Oh fuck.
You muster up a small, broken sound from your chest when the realization finally hits you that your desire is overwhelming Buckyโ€™s senses to the point that heโ€™s struggling just to think.
โ€œI-โ€œ
His fingers hook beneath the saturated fabric of your panties, his fingers grazing against your folds and igniting a heat in your body that sets your nerves on fire.
He tears them away, reducing them to a tattered rag in his fist which he brings to his nose and inhales deeply before he discards them to the floor with a growl.
He forces your thick thighs apart, spreading you open with his trembling fingers to observe your tight, wet hole as it clenches desperately around nothing.
โ€œFuck!โ€
His breath catches in his chest and he stumbles back, withdrawing the gun from his shoulder holster and brandishing it at you.
Your eyes widen as you snap your legs shut, raising your hands defensively and shrinking back in horror.
Bucky steps forward and presses the barrel of the gun against your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€ He chokes out.
โ€œYouโ€™re going to kill me.โ€ You whisper, fear taking hold as your eyes screw shut and a tear slips down your cheek.
He shakes his head slowly, tracing the cool metal of his weapon along your jawline. โ€œNo, I ainโ€™t gonna kill you. Not yet.โ€
Your eyes open, your expression twisting into one of confusion. โ€œThen why.. why are you sorry?โ€
He sets his jaw, lifting his left hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. โ€œBecause Iโ€™m gonna hurt you.โ€ He rasps.
Your brows knit in concern. โ€œWhat do y-โ€œ
Bucky cuts you short, replying only by dipping his gun between your legs, pressing it firmly against your bare, weeping cunt.
Your entire body seizes in terror but as he drags the cool, hard weapon along your slick folds, the fear gives way to something else entirely.
โ€œYou donโ€™t wanna hurt me..โ€ You say slowly, carefully, biting back a moan as the barrel of the gun grazes across your clit.
โ€œBut I do.โ€ He taunts, pulling the gun away and gripping your jaw with bruising force. He presses it to your mouth, your slick coating the metal and wetting your bottom lip. โ€œOpen.โ€ He growls, leaving you little choice with how hard heโ€™s holding your chin. He forces the gun into your mouth, your eyes wide in apprehension. โ€œSuck.โ€ He demands, pressing it down on your tongue. You swirl your tongue around it, tasting yourself on the bitter metal. He groans, withdrawing it harshly from your mouth with a string of spittle and tucking it back into its holster.
โ€œIโ€™m gonna fuck you. And itโ€™s gonna hurt.โ€ He mutters, his calloused fingers moving to unbuckle his belt.
โ€œBucky y-โ€œ He pinches your cheeks together painfully in his metal hand, effectively silencing you.
โ€œQuit fuckinโ€™ calling me that!โ€ He snaps, using his grip on your jaw to yank you forward to him.
โ€œSoldat.โ€ He corrects in a menacing tone, nodding your head for you to ensure you understood.
โ€œThat is my name. I suggest you remember it, because youโ€™re about to be screaming it.โ€
He releases your face harshly, reaching to pull his hard, thick cock from his jeans and spitting into his palm. He curls his hand around his impressive length and pumps himself lazily from base to tip, rubbing his thumb roughly over the slit and smearing beads of precum along his shaft to mingle with his saliva.
Your eyes follow every stroke of his hand as he closes in on you, your brain working to comprehend just how in the hell your body was going to accommodate his size.
Heโ€™s right. This is going to hurt.
He clutches the neckline of your dress with his free hand, ripping and tearing the fabric until youโ€™re bared to him and he kneads at your breast roughly pinching the pebbled flesh of your nipple harshly between his fingers, drawing a small cry from you.
โ€œBuc-โ€œ You stammer.
He slaps your tit hard and you wince from the sting as it radiates across the tender flesh of your ample breast.
โ€œSoldat.โ€ He growls through clenched teeth, hiking your legs to rest your heels on his shoulders and tilting your pelvis upwards as he lines himself up with your aching entrance.
You suck in a sharp breath as the crown of his cock breeches your tight, wet hole and you writhe underneath him against the sting as he splits you open, stretching your cunt and filling you in a way youโ€™ve never experienced.
A shameless moan erupts from your throat when he begins to snap his hips, fucking into you with a merciless rhythm. What was once pain is quickly building into pleasure and your back arches up off the desk.
โ€œSo fucking tight.โ€ He grunts, his heavy sack swinging with every deep thrust into your dripping cunt. His jaw clenches and he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of your thighs, spreading you wider as he tucks his chin to watch himself disappear into your wet heat with a predatory gaze.
Pleasure builds in your abdomen and you rock your hips to meet his hungry thrusts, biting down on your bottom lip as his thick cock massages your inner walls. The corners of his mouth twitch as if heโ€™s biting back a smirk when he registers you eagerly moving in sync with him. He snakes a hand down between you, tracing his fingers along the girth of his cock where heโ€™s filling you and gathers your slick along his fingertips, raising his hand and spreading his fingers to admire the sheen of your wetness with a thoughtful expression.
Without warning he withdraws, leaving you desperate and empty when he lets your right leg drop and curls his hand around your left ankle, flipping you hard onto your stomach. He grabs your hips and yanks you backwards towards him so youโ€™re bent over your desk with the lip of it biting into your pelvis. He delivers a harsh smack to your ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hand, then dipping his head down to suck a bruise into the skin before biting down hard into your plump cheek. You yelp and raise yourself up on your palms, but Bucky splays a large, calloused hand across your back, forcing you back down and kicking your legs wider with the toe of his boot.
He plunges two fingers in your thoroughly fucked hole, coating them in your arousal before withdrawing them and sinking his cock back into your swollen cunt. Strangled noises of pleasure catch in your throat and you push your hips back greedily to meet him, your walls throbbing around him as ruts into you, his balls slapping against your clit and sending shockwaves through you with every brutal thrust.
He spreads your ass cheeks roughly, teasing his wet index finger along your backside, circling your puckered hole and causing you to squirm. He presses into you, working his finger in sync with his hips, massaging it into you until you manage to take him to the knuckle and he lets out a satisfied groan that you nearly drown out in your own wanton moan.
โ€œFuck.โ€ He rasps out, pain blooming as he moves to add a second finger. You cry out at the intrusion, your hands clenching into fists above your head and your nails biting into your palms as he rocks his fingers into you, scissoring you open.
You thought youโ€™d been full when it was only his cock but fuck, were you wrong.
It was too much.
It was too good.
The tension wound tight in your abdomen finally snaps and you completely shatter.
A choked sob rips from your throat and your pussy spasms, your walls fluttering around his cock and your asshole contracting around his fingers as you scream, your orgasm tearing through you with enough force to make your head spin and your ears ring.
โ€œFuck, fuck, fuck!โ€
He slips his fingers from your tight hole, grabbing hold of your hips with both hands and slamming into you with unrelenting force, fucking you through each wave of euphoria as they crashed over you in succession.
โ€œIโ€™m gonna tell them I killed you.โ€ He grunts, his cock kissing your cervix. โ€œSo no one will ever come looking for you.โ€
You mumble incoherently, tears of ecstasy staining your cheeks as you lay limp in the wake of your earth shattering release while he continues to pound into you at a steady pace.
โ€œI think Iโ€™ll keep you tied to my bed.โ€ He whispers in a menacing tone, his thrusts growing frantic as he chases his impending orgasm. โ€œIโ€™m gonna fuck every hole in your body, every day, until you canโ€™t fucking take it anymore.โ€
Bucky snaps his hips forward in one last powerful thrust and then stills, shouting a string of curses as his cock pulses and he pulls your plump ass flush to his pelvis, emptying himself deep inside of you.
He tilts his head back, his chest rising and falling erratically and then pulls out, staggering back as you rise up and turn to face him with flushed cheeks and hair slicked against your sweaty forehead.
โ€œGet dressed.โ€ He orders, tugging his jeans up and fastening his belt. โ€œYouโ€™re coming with me.โ€
You nod and move on weak knees, feeling his cum slowly leaking from your cunt as you gather your blazer. He watches you carefully as you pull it on, buttoning it in an attempt to cover your naked body.
Bucky holds out his hand impatiently and you take it, cautiously moving closer to him, your thighs sticky as they rub together with every step you take.
You place a palm flat against his chest and he looks down at you with his brows furrowed in confusion at your gentle gesture before you rise up on your tiptoes, pressing your mouth against his. He stiffens momentarily but quickly reciprocates, his tongue teasing at your bottom lip in a silent demand to deepen the kiss. You comply, moving your tongue slowly against his in a sensual dance and tracing your hands along his broad chest as you lean further into him.
When you break the kiss abruptly and step back out of his embrace, he blinks in bewilderment before his face contorts into rage as he registers that heโ€™s staring into the barrel of his own gun.
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Taglist (Taglist is open):
@littleone2001 @suz7days @truthfulliarr @lilacka @writtingrose @samsgoddess @loveisallyouneed1125 @vicmc624 @millercontracting @wildernessflora @mydorkyboys @blackhawkfanatic @honestlywork @ladyvenera @cavity-exe
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A/N: My husband gave me so much shit for this while I was writing it: tHiS iSnT cAnOn, BuCkY wOuLdNt Do ThAt, iT dOeSnT mAkE sEnSe
Look, I know. Itโ€™s a fanfic, itโ€™s AU, itโ€™s not canon.
Anyway, now Iโ€™m really anxious about posting this, worried that it wonโ€™t meet your expectations. So I hope you enjoy so I can tell my husband to suck it. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
๐Ÿ’‹Sj
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