#and only some of them have the option to be fully in welsh

[screechfoxes]

games i know can be played in welsh

minecraft

dicey dungeons

[ellescastleglow]

✨📚🌿My Dream Self 🌿📚✨

Well, let's see what I'm working for. I've always had an idea of who my dream self is, but never written it down in such detail. I don't think it's cheating that I'm solidly on my way to embodying a lot of these :)

Body + Health

they are on low dose testosterone and have had top surgery. they have also done voice training to keep their voice in a neutral range.

they no longer have chronic pain or fatigue, and they have found a way to live happily within the boundaries of what their genetic disabilities allow them to do.

they're physically fit and strong.

their skin is clear of acne, but there are signs of experience (scars, freckles, some wrinkles). their dark circles are gone.

Mind + Values

they are in love with their body.

they are free from their childhood trauma. all parts of them fully believe that they are safe.

their abusers have been exposed for what they did, but out of a refusal to ever be like them, my dream self doesn't take revenge and instead lets them suffer the natural consequences of everyone knowing.

they have recovered enough from burnout and have put up enough boundaries that they are once again able to engage in politics without it harming their mental health.

they have joined a local mutual aid group, serving the people of their community gives them joy.

they will never let anyone take advantage of them.

they value security and stability, and their actions reflect that.

they are kind to strangers, complimenting people on the street and offering to pay for people's food.

they know themself to be resilient, but live a life where that isn't the only option.

they have hope, not because they are naive, but because without it the world is a horrible place and they will be the change they want to see, g-ddamnit.

Habits + Lifestyle

they are high maintenance to be low maintenance; they get pedicures every month, eyebrow waxing every 3 weeks, and use tricks like dyeing their eyebrows and eyelashes to avoid wearing makeup.

hygiene is very important to them, and they make sure to have a shower at least once a day. they wash their hair twice a week and double cleanse their face, body, and hair every time.

they brush their teeth (and scrape their tongue) twice a day and have twice-weekly 'everything toothbrushings', which also includes oil pulling, water flossing with hydrogen peroxide, and a hydrogen peroxide rinse.

they have a simple but effective morning and night skincare routine. they remember to put on sunscreen, and have found one that doesn't feel icky.

they dedicate 30 minutes first thing in the morning and last thing at night to reading.

every evening, they cook meals for the family, and they're always delicious.

every tuesday, they take themself on a date.

every sunday, they plan the week out meticulously, mostly time blocking and meal planning.

once a month, they have a digital detox day.

their routines are so streamlined and easy that doing them is like second nature. they don't even have to think, they just do it.

Hobbies + Skills

they are physically active, and their favourite sports are fencing, badminton, and indoor rock climbing. they also enjoy pilates, yoga, and rowing and have tried horse riding.

they are c2 fluent in french and are proficient in auslan, hebrew, german, welsh, spanish, and mandarin. learning languages is a hobby for them.

they can mend their clothes beautifully and use embroidery techniques to make the mending visible. they know how to use both an electric and a treadle sewing machine and use them frequently to make historical fashion pieces.

learning is their number 1 passion. they love researching things relevant to their interests and remember everything they read. they study philosophy, history, and politics.

they can play guitar and piano decently well and do so regularly.

they play logic games like chess and sudoku.

Finances + Career

they are a speech pathologist working in private practice. their schedule is flexible and their work is rewarding. they specialise in AAC and get to spend lots of time making people's communication systems and advocating with their clients.

they are a published children's book author, and their series is a household name in their community. children at their temple come to them to give thoughts on the last book and ideas for the next. they work with cultural consultants so that each main character is properly represented.

they earn enough through work and investments to fund their lifestyle and save for retirement, at least $150,000 a year.

they have a high interest savings account with $10,000 in case of emergency.

they can afford to pay people for things that would otherwise take up time, like cleaning the house.

Environment + Material Things

they live in a townhouse in an inner suburb and co-own a holiday home in the south of france with a group of friends, which they go to once a year.

their garden is thriving and they have a grape trellis in their back garden.

their home is their sanctuary, it feels safe to be in and it's filled with beautiful things. there are fresh flowers on the table and pretty painted walls, and everything is clean.

their home includes a beautiful library with all kinds of books, but especially classics. their most precious books have been custom bound.

they have a private collection of antiques, from family heirlooms to bought pieces. some are kept in archival boxes, while others are restored and used for their intended purpose.

their fashion sense remains impeccable. they dress in their own style regardless of what's trendy and make many of their own clothes so everything can be exactly how they like it. they always overdress slightly, and have a good amount of eveningwear in addition to their day closet. their wardrobe matches their lifestyle.

they have a small but meaningful jewellery collection, filled with inherited and new classic pieces.

Community + Relationships

they are engaged in both their local and religious communities. they live in a world where there doesn't have to be conflict between the two.

they have friend groups of all different kinds, with people from different generations, backgrounds, identities, and abilities.

their closest friends also believe in relationship anarchy, and won't abandon them for a new romantic relationship.

they go to pub trivia with friends.

they have healed enough and have enough money to foster children, and though it's limited to one at a time, they consider them all their kids.

they love and take care of their cats more than words can say. their cats live a luxurious life and get lots of cuddles (if they want them).

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I don't have a bakestone but my mums always made rlly good welshcakes with a frying pan so hand over the recipe I want to see if u can compete (I hope u can my mums a terf and I don't want to rely on her welshcake recipe forever 😔)

Ah ha, well, fuck terfs, here's a recipe! Or three.

Welsh Cakes (basic recipe)

Okay so the enemy of Welshcakes is dryness so we must FOCUS on that. A common mistake is to roll out the dough too thin, I suspect, but I’ll come to that.

Um, the currants: I know they're traditional. I know that. So I have included how to use them BUT I hate them, so I have also included The Other Option: you cut them in half and sandwich them with a filling like jam, and then they’re called 'splits’. Right:

Rub together:

8oz self-raising flour

4oz margerine/butter (I’ve used sandwich spread before which is basically fine but only use 3oz then)

1 tsp cinnamon or mixed spice

Pinch nutmeg

Until breadcrumb-y. Then add:

3oz caster sugar

1 large egg

(Optional) 4oz currants that you have been soaking in tea during this time (this makes them richer and also moister, which you want, never trust a Welshcake recipe that omits that step)

This should make a dough rather than a batter. Roll it out to between a quarter of an inch to half an inch thick (don't go thinner! Dryness is the enemy!) Use a cutter to get little cakes (mine are heart-shaped because that's the shape of my cutters for some reason. Use a mug if you lack a cutter.) If you decide to omit the currants, like me, you’ll need to make it half an inch.

Anyway IT'S BAKESTONE TIME or in your case frying pan time - you're quite right, it does work, but just be aware that the cooking process will have to involve you flipping them much more often than on a bakestone. But that's fine you do you.

Heat your bakestone to a low to low-medium heat. On my hob, the heat goes up to 12; I use a 4, and leave the stone for an hour to hit temperature. You will not need to wait so long! As a frying pan heats much faster than an inch thick slab of cast iron. Run a bit of butter over the stone, and then off you go! Put the cakes onto the stone. They should take roughly four minutes each side normally. Don’t be afraid to keep flipping them, though. There’s an art to it at this point - when you take them off the very centres should still look like they’re just still dough instead of fully cooked, but it takes a bit of practice to spot it. Don’t fear experimenting. You’ll have loads.

Once they’re done, if you used currents, sprinkle sugar over. If you didn’t use the currents, let them cool slightly, then cut them in half and put jam in - raspberry or blackberry for preference. And you’re done!

HOWEVER here are some alternatives that I have made

Welshcakes (Chocolate Chilli and Lime)

Amend the base recipe as follows:

Sub up to an ounce of flour for cocoa powder, and use half a teaspoon of chilli instead of the spice.

Go to Tesco or some shit and buy lime curd (or marmalade if you like it I guess but I Hate Rind)

Split them with the lime curd

Alternatively you can omit the chilli and split them with Nutella for Double Chocolate

Welshcakes (Christmas Pudding flavour)

Ohhhhh, trust me on this one. Amend the base recipe thusly:

When soaking the currants, spike the tea with brandy

Use brown sugar instead of caster

Substitute one ounce of the flour for ground almonds and half a teaspoon of baking powder

Up the spice to 1 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp mixed spice and ½ tsp nutmeg

Add the zest of one lemon and one orange

If you make splits, split them with brandy butter. Then everyone eats them and they smell like Christmas.

[womenofwonder]

RWBY characters races for AUs set in our world.

How I’m going to do this: three things. The first, the city they live in Remnant. This is the least important because that leaves us with only five…maybe six places compared to our world’s hundreds of countries.

The second will be the original of their names, which they’ll have to keep in the AUs, meaning that they need some culture background for them.

The third will be their fairy tale origins.

So to start, Ruby Rose:

She lives in Vale, which is similar to France (I’ll explain why in another post maybe), but technically grew up in patch, a small island off the coast of Vale. I have no idea about Patch’s culture as we hardly ever see it, so I’m going to skip this one. We also don’t know if either Summer or Taiyang was originally from Vale.

We know Taiyang is Chinese from his name, so I’m going to say she’s half Chinese. I also wrote a western au once and really love the idea of Taiyang being an Asian Redneck…so I think I’m going to say Ruby is very, very southern just because that would be adorable.

But if you don’t want that idea I generally see Taiyang being either Asian-American or Asian-French, or Asian-British if your doing a HP AU. Summer is harder to pin down, but Red Riding Hood was originally an Italian fable, so I’m going to have her be Italian or Italian-American.

Weiss:

Weiss is German, although making her simply white America/British would work. I could see her being Russian too in some AU because Atlas fits well as Russia. For American works, Pennsylvania has quite the German population and coal mines, so that works pretty well for her.

Blake is really complicated. From Remment Australia which is culturally SEA (south East Asian), has an English name but parents with a Hindu-inspired names, but neither looking vaguely Indian. I’m going to assume her family are immigrants (as they are in cannon I think) to Australia, maybe even changed their name to help them fit in. Immigrants from where? Well, India is an option, but I like to think Malaysia. They have a large Indian and Chinese population, and I like to think Blake is a mixture of Chinese, Malay, and Indian ethnicities, from Malaysia and immigrated to Australia. And if you think this is crazy or unrealistic, you haven’t seen anything yet. The sheer mix of cultures I’ve seen growing up as an ex-pat is insane. This isn’t too crazy.

For Yang, we already have Taiyang as an Asian red-neck. Or at least I do. Raven and Qrow are going to be a little harder to pin down, but I’m think bandits getting replaced by mafia. Which mafia? I don’t know, take you’re pick. Branwen is Welsh, but I can’t think of a Welsh mafia. Coming from Mistral I would see them as being Triad, not Yakuza because Raven’s gang is famous for being less than coordinated.

If you need a logical reason for Yang having blonde hair, Taiyang could be only half Chinese, half blonde (blonde is race right?).

Either way I see Raven operating in an American city like New York or Detroit.

This would mean Yang is fully Chinese ethnically.

JNPR:

Jaune’s name and inspiration are all French. However his mother does come from Mistral (I think), so I do see him being half Chinese, but nationally French. It’s also funny to imagine him with a French accent.

Pyrrha: she’s Greek or maybe Greek-American with her parents being recent immigrants. Argus seems to Remnent-Greece and her name and fairy tale are greek.

Nora: she should be Scandinavian. I feel like in a MCU AU she’s Thor’s daughter. But she also grew up as a street rat in Mistral, which is hard to fit in our world. Therefore I’m going to have her in America, the great melting pot (and also America seems to be more like Mistral than any other Remnent king with our state system), and she going to ethically Scandinavian but knowing nothing of her culture due to her upbringing.

Ren: obviously Chinese, but I might have him be American-Chinese to fit his story nicely in with Nora’s.

Others:

Coco: we’re all ignoring that she’s based off Coco Channel, so let’s make her a LA girl

Velvet: Australia, because of the accent. Or maybe English because that is her story origin

Fox: he’s difficult, because tribes are pretty rare in modern AUs. But his story could work for various things. He’s one of the few black characters so he could come from practically any African tribe (I’m currently going with Hausa because it’s one of the few I know anything about). His name is based off ‘the fox and the hound’ which is a rare American story, so he could also be from a Native American tribe if you want the AU to be more American-based.

Yatsuhashi: Japanese, this one is thankfully easy.

Sun: Chinese. He comes from a tribe as well, but I can’t think of any nomadic Chinese tribes except the Uyghurs. Making Sun a Uyghur doesn’t make much sense but it will serve to piss off certain people on the internet. And now this is going to be taken down, isn’t it? Oh wait, this is tumbrl. This is anarchy. It won’t. Forgot why I liked this place for a second.

Scarlet: sorry for the rambling there. Anyway, Scarlet is definitely English. “I hope I don’t get sand in my shoes.”

Sage: well, he’s black, but other then that we have nothing to go one. He’s also from Mistral but that doesn’t really work? If Mistral is America as well as China I guess we can make him African American. Or whatever else works best for the AU. He might be Indian too now that I think of it. Or even Maori. Really options are limitless here.

Neptune: Yeah, so probably just American, but does have both a French last name and an Italian first name. So probably ethically American (aka white mutt). Also he lives near a port, I think I’m gonna gone with him being from Tacoma Washington because I am.

Flynt: African American

Neon: Japanese-American because of her meme (it started as part of Japanese pop song on YouTube, the latter of which is America summed up in one invention)

Oscar: Hispanic-American, he just looks it. And I’m guessing he lives in Kansas for obvious reasons. His last name isn’t Hispanic but their could be a lot of reasons for that. Or he could be Native American (Pawnee, Cheyenne, and Osage are all Native American tribes in Kansas).

Penny: well if she’s still a robot she probably stays white, but if you want her human in this AU she might end up being half black as Pietro is, although she also could just be adopted. I guess the later makes more sense, huh? I figure she’s American, with her dad working with a ‘well meaning’ but ultimately corrupt government. Probably living in DC, as that has both the government and the poverty issues.

Emerald: oohh, boy. This is hard. Sustrai is Basque, and Aladdin is a French addition to an Arabian story, she herself is dark skinned with anime features that are super unhelpful for this sorta thing.

I have three ideas. Brazilian, mostly as there’s no South American themed RWBY characters I can think of, and it’s diverse enough that someone looking like Emerald would fit. Secondly, for American centered stories she’s just an orphan with no idea of her ethnicity. Or she could be African, Indian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic or some mixture between those four. It’s honestly really hard to tell. In my fanfic she’s from Suriname and ethnically 1/4 Indian, 1/2 Creole, and 1/4 Javanese.

Ilia: Sioux (Native American). Ilia means a lot of things in a lot of different languages, and Amitola mean rainbow in Sioux, so I decided to just stick with that.

Mercury: American, white mutt American. I’m guessing New York or Philli for where he grew up, it seems like a place where he’d be comfortable

Neo: the new novel reveals her father lived in vale (btw I haven’t read it, I’m just getting this off the internet) and her mother was a assassin who’s origins aren’t known. She doesn’t really have a fairy tale. So I’m going to go with British or French (thank RWBY thoughts for the first one) although in an American AU she works as just a white American.

Robyn: depends on what Atlas is in this AU, but probably German or American.

Qrow: I already mentioned he’s probably Chinese due to being from Mistral. It’s a bit weird to think of him as Asian, but not as weird as it to think of Raven as white, so I’ll take it. Although I do like the idea of him being American Irish, that’s fun.

Winter: whatever Atlas is in this AU, German or American, although British and Russian would work well too.

Maria: Mexican

Salem: If you want a AU where she’s just a normal person then New England or Italian for her story origin

Watts: British

Tyrian: uh…I have no idea, but he looks white. And he kinda has a British accent? I want him to be southern for the accent tho. Probably just another crazy American

Cinder: her fairy tale is French but her origin is Chinese. Also, Cinderella doesn’t really have an origin, it’s an ancient story with every culture having at least one Cinderella story. So I’m going to say Chinese.

Hazel: American, from the Midwest. He’s darkish so maybe he’s a POC? Part Native American or Hispanic? Idk or really care I can’t stand Hazel

Roman Torchwick: American-Italian, he runs/works for the mafia

Ozpin: American because of the whole wizard-of-Oz-thing or French, because he seems to have come from Vale.

Glynda: American or French for the same reasons Ozpin is

Oobleck: Jewish American (because Dr. Seuss was)

Professor Port: Russian, due to his fairy tale, or English, due to his style

Taiyang: already said he’s a red-neck Asian.

Raven: depending on whether you want her to be white or not, either Chinese or Irish American, like I already said.

Cordovin: Karen

Ironwood: again, depends on Atlas in the AU. Either American or German…maybe Russian

Clover: Irish-American (or German, obviously the ace-ops depend on where Atlas is. I’m just going to do the rest of them assuming Atlas is American because Germany isn’t that diverse)

Harriet: African-American, I guess. It kinda messes with the story because Harriet is supposed to be privileged, which doesn’t really work in this AU, but she’s also obviously black.

Elm: Just normal American, maybe greek-American because of the Aesop fable themes

Vine: Tibetan based on his design

Marrow: either African-American or Pakistani/Indian-American. (I’m personally going for Pakistani)

Klein: english. All butlers are English. It’s a rule.

Pietro: African-American

Johanna: Pakistani or Indian American

Fiona: Jewish-American (kinda random but while she’s obviously white she also needs to be a minority for the Faunus thing to work)

May: normal upper glass American/German

Ghira: Half Malay, Half Indian, from Malaysia but immigrated to Australia later in life

Kali: half Chinese, half Indian, but also from Malaysia

Adam: much like Fiona I’m going to assume he’s Jewish due to him being white but still needing to be a minority. German or American, again, depending on where Atlas is. Or he could be Chinese, even though it doesn’t work with his name, due to the theory that he was trafficked much like Cinder. I’m going with ethically Jewish though

Sienna Khan: Indian

Huh, I actually finished that. I’m pretty sure I was accidentally racist multiple times and apologize in advance,

I’m exhausted and starving and not thinking straight. But anyway, here it is. Your very messy guide to modern RWBY AUs. I swear this was insane to sort out.

[honourablejester]

Celtic Pantheon/Campaigns (5e D&D)(Long Post)

Okay, so I’m just going to get this out there, because every time I glance at the Celtic Pantheon in the PHB I do giggle a bit. Mind you, it’s not anyone’s fault, but a couple of centuries of academics bundling stuff together under ‘Celtic’ has mightily confused just about everything, and it really shows here.

(Note: I have no academic qualifications regarding Celtic mythology/history/folklore whatsoever, I’m just Irish and grew up with a lot of the Irish myths and legends as a kid. This also means I know very little about the Welsh and other Celtic myths, just to say that in advance. This is all just what I’m familiar with from growing up and a little bit of research, and might have errors)

This post is also brought to you by my idly scanning lfg posts for Celtic campaigns and seeing a lot of historically inspired Celts-vs-Romans campaigns which is … doubly funny to me if they’re using the PHB pantheon list. This is because, as you’ll see in a minute, the majority of the PHB list uses the Irish gods and we … didn’t have those. Romans. We didn’t have them. So. Heh.

(We had Roman traders, especially around the Waterford area, it’s a relatively quick hop over from Wales/Cornwall, and we have evidence of Roman … tourists, probably? There are Roman offerings at various Irish prehistoric religious sites, in the Midlands especially. So we did have Romans, in the sense of we met them, but we didn’t have Romans, in the sense of invasion by the Roman Empire)

So. The thing about the PHB ‘pantheon’. It’s kind of borrowing gods from several different Celtic pantheons. ‘Celtic’ covers a lot of distinct regional cultures that are believed (I think for primarily linguistic and archaeological reasons) to be descended from an original proto-Celtic culture. For extra fun, there aren’t many primary historical sources for most of them, as in Celts writing about themselves and their faiths. Most of the texts we have are either medieval Christian (a lot of the Irish and Welsh) or Roman (a lot of the Gaulish, Iberian, Germanic, Brythonic), so there’s a lot of cross-cultural influence and interpretation muddling it up in there before you ever get to celtic-vs-celtic.

So they’re all Celtic, but they’re all very distinct in terms of stories, culture and the attributes of their gods. There are some gods that were broadly shared under similar names between various of the regional pantheons (Lugh and Brigantia are two examples), although they could be very different in portrayal between, say, the Irish and Gaulish stories. (Where the PHB uses one of these, I’m going with what name they’re using for guidance)

(The various attributes given to them by the PHB are a different muddle of influences again, with I think a lot of it being straight D&D invention, but that’s its own story)

So, to have a look at the D&D breakdown:

5e PHB Celtic Pantheon

Arawn  (Welsh)

Belenus  (Gaulish/Romano-British)

Brigantia  (Gaulish/Romano-British)

Diancecht  (Irish)

Dunatis (???)(Can’t find or remember this guy at all. Only thing I’ve got is that the Irish for ‘fort’ is ‘dún’, so maybe Irish?)

Goibhniu  (Irish)

Lugh  (Irish)

Manannan Mac Lir  (Irish)

Math Mathonwy  (Welsh)

Morrigan   (Irish)

Nuada  (Irish)

Oghma  (Irish)

Silvanus  (???)(Don’t know at all. I’m going to guess continental because I think ‘silva’ is the latin for ‘forest’, hence ‘Transylvania’ or ‘Beyond the Forest’, so the dude has a latin name)(… looking this up, he’s actually straight-up a Roman god, okay then)

The Daghdha  (Irish)(I usually see it spelled ‘Dagda’, mind)

This all shakes out as follows:

Irish: Daghdha, Diancecht, Goibhniu, Lugh, Manannan, Morrigan, Nuada, Oghma

Not Sure/Maybe Irish?: Dunatis

Welsh: Arawn, Math Mathonwy

Gaulish/Romano-British: Belenus, Brigantia

Straight Roman: Silvanus

So that’s more than half the list being figures from Irish mythology. And that … there’s nothing wrong with using them for an Asterix-and-Obelix Romans-vs-Celts sort of campaign. I mean, it’s your own private fantasy game, not a history lesson. Go nuts! It just … reads oddly to me. Heh. Historically speaking, very few people with Irish names calling on Irish gods would have had much cause to fight Romans. Not on any large scale, anyway.

Campaign Inspirations:

I’m going to just say, though. If you want a more historical and/or mythological feeling Celtic campaign. You have a couple of options. I’d say the easiest thing is to just look up the specific pantheons and cherry-pick your gods from there (there’s a handy Wikipedia list here)

If you want continental Romans vs Celts a-la Asterix and Obelix, use the Gaulish/Brythonic list.

If you want Romans vs Celts more along the lines of various modern interpretations of King Arthur, use the Gaulish/Brythonic and/or Pictish lists.

If you want Celtic more along the lines of full Arthurian, Excalibur, BBC Merlin, ‘dragons, druids, knights and romance’, a lot of actual Arthurian legend used Welsh myths as a base, so it’s a nice start, then throw some Brythonic on top (particularly if you want to do an 80s Robin Hood on it and throw in Cernunnos/Herne the Hunter in). If your setting is more of a fully mixed ‘Medieval England’ sort of setting, Robin Hood, King Arthur, etc, you can mix and match a whole bunch of folklore and mythology of various sources, Welsh, Roman, Norse, etc. (Alan Garner is a fantasy author who does this very well, if you want a high-fantasy example)

And if you want Celtic as in Irish myth to match the names …

If you’re going relatively low-fantasy for a more historical feel, use the Irish pantheon, and the sources you want to inspire the setting would be the Cattle Raid of Cooley and the Fenian Cycle/stories of Fionn Mac Cumhaill and the Fianna. The Five Kingdoms of Ireland (Ulster, Connacht, Leinster, Munster and Meath, with the High King sitting at Tara in Meath) makes a pretty good setting.

If you’re going more high fantasy, like the Arthurian example, use the Irish pantheon, and you want the Book of Invasions and the Battle of Magh Tuireadh as inspiration. Setting elements you can have here are the Five Kingdoms of Ireland, the Four Cities that the Treasures of Ireland came from, Tir na nOg, and the Otherworld. (Note on the four cities and their treasures: they were each guarded by a legendary bard (poet/scholar/mage), so you could go classic archmage wizard or you could throw in some high level NPC bards for fun)

There’s some very cool magic items in Irish myth too, like the aforementioned four treasures, the magic pigskin (waterskin) Lugh had the sons of Tuireann quest for (heals all wounds, but charges of various healing spells per day would probably work), the sword Fragarach (I think other D&D editions had a version, but I’m particularly interested in its sword of truth aspect that forces anyone threatened by it to tell the truth), Cuchulainn’s Gae Bolg spear, aka Belly Spear (which is made from a bone of a sea monster and is nasty – it basically grows barbs/spines once it’s in someone’s body), and basically every item ever owned/gifted by Manannan Mac Lir, who is basically the Irish god of giving away cool magic items (as well as sea god, trickster god, elder god, and the god often in charge of starting quests). If you need a quest-starter god or a god to litter magic items around your world, Manannan Mac Lir is your dude.

If you want a fantasy author that I quite like who does great loosely-based-on-Irish-myth high fantasy, I would say Michael Scott, particularly (from my reading) the De Danaan tales and Tales of the Bard. I also grew up reading Cormac Mac Raois’ Giltspur trilogy, which is an awesome kid’s portal fantasy involving some Wicklow kids winding up in Tir na nOg and fighting the forces of the Morrigan, but that’s pretty much impossible to get outside Ireland, I think.

And I promise I’m not only saying this because I personally feel like a low-fantasy ‘historical’ campaign is about the least interesting thing you could do with any of the Celtic pantheons. Honest.

[sparklytastemakerwitch]

The ancient fabric that no one knows how to make

In late 18th-Century Europe, a new fashion led to an international scandal. In fact, an entire social class was accused of appearing in public naked.

The culprit was Dhaka muslin, a precious fabric imported from the city of the same name in what is now Bangladesh, then in Bengal. It was not like the muslin of today. Made via an elaborate, 16-step process with a rare cotton that only grew along the banks of the holy Meghna river, the cloth was considered one of the great treasures of the age. It had a truly global patronage, stretching back thousands of years – deemed worthy of clothing statues of goddesses in ancient Greece, countless emperors from distant lands, and generations of local Mughal royalty.

There were many different types, but the finest were honoured with evocative names conjured up by imperial poets, such as "baft-hawa", literally "woven air". These high-end muslins were said to be as light and soft as the wind. According to one traveller, they were so fluid you could pull a bolt – a length of 300ft, or 91m – through the centre of a ring. Another wrote that you could fit a piece of 60ft, or 18m, into a pocket snuff box.

Dhaka muslin was also more than a little transparent.

While traditionally, these premium fabrics were used to make saris and jamas – tunic-like garments worn by men – in the UK they transformed the style of the aristocracy, extinguishing the highly structured dresses of the Georgian era. Five-foot horizontal waistlines that could barely fit through doorways were out, and delicate, straight-up-and-down "chemise gowns" were in. Not only were these endowed with a racy gauzy quality, they were in the style of what was previously considered underwear.

In one popular satirical print by Isaac Cruikshank, a clique of women appear together in long, brightly coloured muslin dresses, through which you can clearly see their bottoms, nipples and pubic hair. Underneath reads the description, "Parisian Ladies in their Winter Dress for 1800".

Meanwhile in an equally misogynistic comedic excerpt from an English women's monthly magazine, a tailor helps a female client to achieve the latest fashion. "Madame, ’tis done in a moment," he assures her, then instructs her to remove her petticoat, then her pockets, then her corset and finally her sleeves… "‘Tis an easy matter, you see," he explains. "To be dressed in the fashion, you have only to undress."

Still, Dhaka muslin was a hit – with those who could afford it. It was the most expensive fabric of the era, with a retinue of dedicated fans that included the French queen Marie Antoinette, the French empress Joséphine Bonaparte and Jane Austen. But as quickly as this wonder-cloth struck Enlightenment Europe, it vanished.

By the early 20th Century, Dhaka muslin had disappeared from every corner of the globe, with the only surviving examples stashed safely in valuable private collections and museums. The convoluted technique for making it was forgotten, and the only type of cotton that could be used, Gossypium arboreum var. neglecta – locally known as Phuti karpas – abruptly went extinct. How did this happen? And could it be reversed?

A fickle fibre

Dhaka muslin began with plants grown along the banks of the Meghna river, one of three which form the immense Ganges Delta – the largest in the world. Every spring, their maple-like leaves pushed up through the grey, silty soil, and made their journey towards straggly adulthood. Once fully grown, they produced a single daffodil-yellow flower twice a year, which gave way to a snowy floret of cotton fibres.

These were no ordinary fibres. Unlike the long, slender strands produced by its Central American cousin Gossypium hirsutum, which makes up 90% of the world’s cotton today, Phuti karpas produced threads that are stumpy and easily frayed. This might sound like a flaw, but it depends what you’re planning to do with them.

Indeed, the short fibres of the vanished shrub were useless for making cheap cotton cloth using industrial machinery. They were fickle to work with, and they’d snap easily if you tried to twist them into yarn this way. Instead, the local people tamed the rogue threads with a series of ingenious techniques developed over millennia.

What is flannel fabric?

Essentially, flannel fabric simply refers to any cotton, wool, or synthetic fabric that fulfills a few basic criteria:

Softness: Fabric must be incredibly soft to be considered flannel.

Texture: Flannel has either a brushed or unbrushed texture, and both textures are equally iconic.

Material: While many materials can be used to make flannel, not all materials are suitable for this fabric. Silk, for instance, is too fine to be made into flannel, which is supposed to be both soft and insulative.

Flannel in history

It’s believed that the word“flannel” emerged in Wales, but we know for a fact that the term was in common usage in France in the form “flannelle” as early as the 17th century. While flannel was periodically popular among the French and other European peoples throughout the Enlightenment era, interest has waned elsewhere while Welsh flannel use has only increased.

Flannel today

These days, types of flannel are often known by their association with certain Welsh towns or regions. Llanidloes flannel is very different from Newtown flannel, for instance, and Welsh flannel varieties vary significantly from all other European flannel types.

Blanket

Sheet, usually of heavy woolen, or partly woolen, cloth, for use as a shawl, bed covering, or horse covering. The blanketmaking of primitive people is one of the finest remaining examples of early domestic artwork. The blankets of Mysore, India, were famous for their fine, soft texture. The loom of the Native American, though simple in construction, can produce blanket so closely woven as to be waterproof. The Navaho, Zu?i, Hopi, and other Southwestern Native Americans are noted for their distinctive, firmly woven blankets. The Navahos produced beautifully designed blankets characterized by geometrical designs woven with yarns colored with vegetable dyes. During the mid-19th cent. the Navahos began to use yarns imported from Europe, because of their brighter colors. The ceremonial Chilcat blanket of the Tlingit of the Northwest, generally woven with a warp of cedar bark and wool and a weft of goats' hair, was curved and fringed at the lower end. In the 20th cent., the electric blanket, with electric wiring between layers of fabric, gained wide popularity.

How to Properly Use a Bath Mat

Whether you’ve just remodeled your bathroom or you’re looking to spruce up your existing space for the season, accessories like a handsome bath mat, perfectly patterned shower curtains, or the plushest of bath towels will take the room from everyday necessity to serene spa destination. While just as important as the others, the lowly bath mat can get overlooked. But don’t make the mistake of opting for the first white terrycloth style you see. The right bath rug won’t just help you avoid the unpleasant shock of stepping onto bare tile after a shower. It will give your floor—and the whole room—an extra hit of much-needed personality. Here, we’ve gathered bath mats that are soft, absorbent, and beautifully designed. Think geometric prints, cheery stripes, even a cheeky banana-shaped option—plus many more.

First off, everyone had some great suggestions as to why we use bath mats at all. They soak up water, yes, but they also keep us from slipping and smashing our heads through the toilet, and act as a temperature buffer for our toesies between the hot shower and the ice cold floor. Gee, bath mats are pretty swell!

When it came to usage, the general consensus was that this is the wrong way to do it:

Finish shower

Step out onto mat

Grab towel

Then dry off

It leaves the bath mat soggy and wet for whoever showers after you. It also makes you much colder during the drying process.

Most people seemed to agree that this is the right way to do it, though:

Finish shower

Grab towel from inside the shower

Dry off inside the shower

Then step out onto the mat

But you all suggested a few excellent additions, like keeping your towel within arm’s reach of the shower so you don’t have to get cold to grab it, squeegeeing your hair and body to remove excess water before you dry with a towel, keeping the curtain or shower door closed while you dry off to stay warm, drying off from the top down (hair first), and hanging up the mat over the edge of the tub or shower when you’re done so it can dry without looking like a random wet towel on your floor.

What is the Difference Between Fleece and Flannel?

As you already know, the main difference between fleece and flannel is what they are made of. Fleece has synthetic fibers, and flannel features loose cotton threads. But because of their different fibers, these fabrics and finished products have several unique characteristics.

Take a look at this in-depth comparison of key features such as warmth, softness, and sustainability for each type of fabric.

Warmth

Most of the time, fleece has a thicker nap and also provides more warmth than flannel. Now, flannel is quite a cozy and warm fabric in its own right! But in comparison, fleece usually wins the warmth contest.

The exception to this rule is that some high-quality types of flannel contain wool fibers, and these types of flannel provide intense warmth!

What makes fleece so warm? Its many tiny, raised polyester fibers trap heat and hold them in the loose, velvety surface of its pile. If you have ever stuck your hand into your dog’s fur in the middle of winter, you know how all those tiny hairs hold immense warmth against your pet’s skin! Fleece fibers work the same way when you wear them against your skin.

Softness

Fleece is often softer than flannel, but if you have sensitive skin, you may find that its synthetic fibers also have a slightly plasticky feel. Of course, you will find exceptions to this rule, especially in flannel made with silk fibers. This will probably feel much softer than even the softest fleece!

Because both types of material go through a napping process, they both feature an incredibly soft texture on at least one side of the material. Fleece usually has a thicker, deeper pile, while flannel has a faint fuzziness on top of its woven surface.

If you rest your hand on top of the fleece, you feel as if your fingers can sink into the thick surface, at least a little. When you rest your hand on a piece of flannel, you typically feel a cozy fuzziness.

Blankets

Both fleece and flannel make excellent blankets and throws! You can find soft, pretty fleece and flannel blanket in pretty much any color or design you want.

That said, you should probably go with flannel for a baby blanket, as synthetic materials can sometimes cause allergic reactions.

If you plan to sew a blanket, though, you will want to use fleece. Flannel unravels super fast due to its loose weave, making it challenging to cut and sew. Fleece does not unravel when cut because it has a knitted construction with threads looped over each other.

[writingformadderton]

Surprise Date

Ship: Madderton

Word Count: 2403

Summary: Richard is in love with Taron and wants to surprise him with a date. Not knowing what Taron likes he asks him what would be his perfect date. After some time apart it finally happens...

Additional Tags: First date, picnic, kiss, fluff, soft

Requested by anonym

It’s after the premiere of Rocketman in Cannes when the idea sparks Richard’s mind. The audience is roaring with applause, the majority of the area on their feet with appreciation for the film. It’s when Taron looks over at Richard, a sliver of something more than pride shining in his eyes. It’s when he strolls over to his best friend, embracing him in a hug that feels too close to home. It’s when things calm down and Taron is on his way back to the hotel for the night that Richard decides to swallow his pride and text him.

Hey, u wanna grab something to drink? x

Rich taps his foot anxiously in the back of the limo, thoughts bouncing through his mind. His phone buzzes almost immediately after sending the text, though, which has him picking the phone back up just as quickly as he’d set it down.

I’ve got both beer and wine here if you wanna come to my room instead. x

Rich smiles to himself, aware of what he was doing and loving how oblivious Taron was to it.

The thing is, Richard isn’t sure of Taron’s sexuality. Things would happen on set from time to time, setting off flags that he wasn’t straight, but then interviews would come out and Taron would deny any rumors surrounding that topic. “I just love a bromance” was the one sentence that Rich remembers most distinctly, raising an eyebrow at the comment. The Scot has strong feelings for the younger Welsh man, but isn’t sure how to tell him without scaring him off. In the past, it was always a fear of breaking their friendship. Now, though, he’s simply afraid of rejection from the man he’s been pining over for well over a year.

The limo stops at the curb of the road. The driver walks around to the side to open the door for Richard, sending a friendly nod and smile his way as he steps out. He tucks his hands into the pockets of his slacks, eyeing the hotel up and down once before walking inside. Richard’s room is just across the hall from Taron’s, so location isn’t an issue at all. Plus, being on the top floor gives them the most beautiful view of Cannes.

He knocks on the door which swings open almost immediately, a beaming Taron standing before him.

“We did it!” Taron exclaims, the tone of his voice mimicking the one from carpool karaoke.

Rich laughs, pulling him in for another tight hug. “Fuck, we did. I can’t believe it’s all over.”

Taron shakes his head in disbelief, “Me neither, you aren’t alone,” he steps aside to let Richard in. “so, beer or wine? 

Rich tilts his head consideringly, weighing his options before settling on beer. Taron does the same, and both men end up in the living room with the TV playing softly in the background, the only other sound filling the air being that of their conversation.

They discuss anything and everything; the film, what they thought of Cannes, their plans now that they have a bit of a break. Eventually, the energy of the room calmed down and both men sat in silence for a moment.

“Oi, that sex scene was well edited,” Taron suddenly blurts out, eyes slightly gleaming as if he’s still on cloud 9. Rich almost chokes on his beer at the statement.

“Ye can’t just say those kinds of things while a man is drinking his beer!” Rich exclaims, leaving Taron in a fit of laughter.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re right,” It gets quiet again for one moment before eye contact is made and the giggles return.

Finally, at some point in the night, the moment feels right. Richard sighs before finally speaking up.

“T, can I ask ye something?” he clears his throat and bites the inside of his cheek, waiting for Taron’s response.

“Of course, what’s up?” T shifts his body so that he’s fully facing Rich now, clearly giving him his full attention.

“So, there’s this special someone,” Rich picks at his nails while he talks. “and I want to ask them out, but I’m not sure how,”

Taron sits back with a small smile on his face. “Rich, as long as you act yourself, they have to love you. Don’t be afraid of shooting your shot when--”

“No, no, sorry. That’s not quite how I meant it,” Richard interrupts Taron, scratching the back of his neck as his nerves begin to settle. “I guess, I dunno… what’s yer perfect idea of a date?”

It gets very, very quiet.

“I just need some ideas, mate,” he chuckles nervously, watching as Taron stares off into space.

“Well,” he begins, making himself comfortable. “I would take her out for a lovely picnic. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always found them to be so romantic. In a nice field somewhere, where the view is perfect enough to see the sun set,” he stops momentarily. “I’ve always loved going for walks through parks or nature trails. Oh, laying under the stars at night is one of the most intimate settings you can get. So, if you’re hoping to get laid, that’s always worked for me,” he chuckles, finishing his little rant.

Richard, once again, laughs nervously hearing Taron say that last part. “Noted. Thanks, mate. I appreciate it,” he sighs and sits back, sipping on his beer once again. He also notes that he only used the term “she” and wonders if it’s a reflex thing, or if he truly is straight.

“Anytime. So, do I know this special someone?” Taron wiggles his eyebrows, pulling another laugh out of Rich.

”No, ye don’t,” he pauses, glancing at the time on his phone before saying once more, “ye definitely don’t.”

_

An anxious sigh leaves his lips and his hands are becoming increasingly sweaty by the minute. He taps his foot against the concrete, fiddling with the loose bracelet on his wrist. He checks the time once. Then again. And maybe a few more times.

Richard took all of Taron’s words to heart and kept them in mind for months after their late night conversation, wanting to make their date as perfect as possible. He made sure to find the best places possible for all three things that were on Taron’s list: the park, the picnic, and the stargazing. He truly just wanted a perfect evening with the man that he (secretly still) loved.

“Rich!” Taron’s voice interrupts Richard’s thoughts, pulling him from the screen of his phone and forcing his gaze to the man in front of him.

“T, I missed ye,” they hug as they usually would, but Richard feels a bit more of a spark this time. “how’ve ye been?”

Taron shrugs, crossing his arms. “Actually quite alright. I’ve spent loads of time with family and friends, how about you? Any earth-shattering news?” he raises his eyebrows as if hoping to receive exciting information.

Richard chuckles, “No, nothing interesting, sorry mate,”

“S’alright. So, any particular reason you wanted to meet up here?” Taron continues.

“No, I just missed ye and thought it was nice enough outside to spend time here rather than inside,” he explains, earning a smile from Taron.

“I agree with that one, it’s gorgeous out,”

You’re gorgeous, Richard thinks.

“Alright, first pitstop here we come,” Richard grabs Taron by the wrist gently, feeling those similar sparks once again.

“Woah, woah, woah. Where are we going?” Taron laughs, giving in and following Rich toward the nature trail.

“A special someone once told me that nature trails are the perfect location for first dates,” Rich blurts, actually feeling quite proud of that answer. When Taron doesn’t respond, Richard turns around, seeing that he’s standing still, his eyes showing curiosity and slight understanding.

“Uh huh,” is all that he says in response, making Richard’s heart drop a bit.

Fuck, he thinks to himself. This was a dumb idea, why do you always set yourself up for failure?

Despite the response, though, Rich continues their walk, shoving his hands in his pockets so that they have somewhere to rest, wishing one of them were in Taron’s own hand instead. The fall leaves truly set the scene as the sun beams through the trees, adding a lovely reflection on the ponds that they pass on their walk. The silence is strange, though. It’s new for both of them, and it’s beginning to bother Rich.

“We’ve almost reached our next pitstop,” he turns around, clapping his hands together with a smile on his face, hoping to earn one in response. Taron bites his lip and squints his eyes slightly, finally smiling in return.

“What are you up to, Madden?” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Rich responds, grabbing T by the wrist once more to drag him towards the field that is finally in their range of sight.

They go off the trail to enter the low-cut field, the sun continuing to beam lightly whilst beginning to set. Taron perks up a bit, then.

“Okay, here we are,” Rich shuffles so that Taron can see what he was hiding, revealing a blanket that's been tossed neatly onto the grass, a slightly old fashioned picnic basket, and two pillows to top it off. Rich inhales slowly, maneuvering toward the area he’d set up, hoping and praying to God that he gets a positive reaction from the younger man. He turns around to see just what his facial expression has to offer, and his heart melts.

“Rich,” Taron’s voice shakes lightly as he places his hands on his hips like he doesn’t know where else to put them. “did you do all of this for me?”

“Well, er-- yeah, I did.” the answer comes out in a stutter, earning a giggle from T.

“So, that special person you told me about all those months ago…” Taron trails off, putting the puzzle together.

”Yeah, that was you, darling,” Rich walks toward T so that he’s standing right in front of him, hands still in his pockets. “look, I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way, I do. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try, because Jesus Christ, I am so in love with you,” Richard says this all in the most poetic manner.

Taron finally removes his hands from his jean pockets and places them lightly on both sides of Richard’s face. “You are the sneakiest little shit I have ever met,” his eyes squint again as he studies the Scot’s face.

“I may be sneaky, but--” Richard’s response is cut off quickly by Taron’s lips crashing into his own, catching him off guard. He removes his own hands from his pockets and places them lightly on Taron’s hips, pulling him closer as their mouths move in a rhythm of sorts. Taron pulls away briefly, resting his forehead against Richard’s.

“I’m the most oblivious man alive,” Taron laughs and Richard chuckles at this.

“So, ye had a slight hunch that I liked you?” Rich questions and Taron scrunches up his nose at this, which may be the cutest fucking thing Richard has seen in his entire life.

“I had a hunch, yeah. Kinda thought it was all in my head, though, 

Richard shakes his head, “definitely not, love. Definitely not,”

 They spend the rest of their evening spilling truths about each other, sharing kisses and watching the sun set as if they’re in a romcom. Richard slings his arm around Taron’s waist and T rests his head against Rich’s shoulder, admiring the view in front of them.

“I’m so glad you didn’t freak out when I did all of this,” Rich begins. “I really thought it was a bit over the top, even for you.”

Taron gapes, sitting up slightly. “Even for me? Are you saying that I’m over the top?”

“No, just overdramatic,” Richard holds back his laughs and the look on Taron’s face is borderline hysterical.

T pushes Rich so that he’s lying on his back, looking at the newly formed stars in the sky, and straddles his hips, earning a soft whimper from the older man.

“You’re a dick,” Taron murmurs before leaning down fully and capturing Richard’s lips into his own. Richard’s hands run up and down T’s thighs, slowly migrating towards his bum and resting on the clothed flesh there.

“Oh, God,” Rich bites his lip and lets his head fall back, giving Taron full access to his neck, which he gratefully kisses at.

“What?” he asks against his skin, causing Rich to shiver.

“Ye just-- ye don’t know how long I’ve wanted this for, T. I’ve been pining for well over a year,” To prove his point, he pushes his hips up lightly, showing how hard he is from such little time.

“Yeah? You’ve thought about this before?” Taron smirks and Richard’s stomach drops at the voice he’s using.

“Yeah, have,” he gets out, squeezing lightly at his bum and earning a soft sigh in response.

“What do you want then, Rich?” Taron rolls his own hips slightly against Richard’s, the clothing covering them both becoming a bit overwhelming.

“D-dunno,” Richard mentally kicks himself for the stutter. He’s usually confident during sex or anything even remotely sexual, but for some reason, things with Taron are different.

Much different.

“Y’don’t know?” Taron asks, pausing his movements and Richard whines lowley. “I’m all yours now, Rich, do whatever you want with me.”

Richard’s eyes widen at this and he quickly goes into dominant mode, flipping their position so that he’s hovering over Taron, biting at every inch of skin that he can get. Taron’s hands clench gently at the back of Richard’s shirt, urging him to take it off. He does, then repeats the same motion with Taron’s.

“Do ye remember,” Richard leans down to pant in Taron’s ear. “when I asked ye what your perfect idea of a date would be,” single kisses are placed on the younger man’s stomach. “and when ye started to describe the star gazing part of it,” more kisses. “ye said it was a great way to get laid?” he finishes, glancing up to see Taron’s expression.

“Oh, Christ, yeah,” Taron’s voice shaking slightly. “please tell me this is going where I think it’s going, 

Rich smirks, “If ye think you’re about to receive the most amazing dicking down that you’ve ever experienced, yer absolutely right.”

@sarahegerton96 @anxiety-at-the-classroom @multicoloredchicken @taron-eggmcmuffin @naptitimadderton @primaba11erina @madderton-obsessed  @maddertonmyheart​

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Making a Fictional Language

So you’re writing a story where you want to create a fictional language. That’s great. Only problem is, you’re not quite sure how to go about it. Fear not, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I use myself when constructing a language. Now of course, before we can discuss how to build a conlang, it’s worth mentioning what a conlang is.

The term “Conlang” is short-hand for Constructed Language. What this means is that the language is fully realized and fully formed with proper grammar, an expansive dictionary, and could theoretically be learned and used in day-to-day conversation. A Conlang is not a real language. It doesn’t exist in our real world. But it’s well formed enough that it could be learned and spoken with a wide reach of use. Examples of Conlangs include Klingon, High Valyrian, Dothraki, and Na’vi. There are some lesser forms of Conlangs such as Functional Languages. That is, languages that exist only to say a few words. Before being turned into an official language for the show, Valyrian had very few words. It was the job of a linguist to construct a language around the fundamentals that George established in his books. Another example is Atlantean from the Disney movie Atlantis: the Lost Empire. There is just as much Atlantean as needed for the script and nothing else, and if you wanted to learn the Atlantean word for fire, you’ve gotten your hopes up for nothing. Some are also simply text-based, such as Hylian in the Legend of Zelda. It uses different symbols, but it all directly translates to the Japanese language, making it just a re-skinned version of Japanese.

So, how does one actually build a conlang? Honestly, a good first step is to do some research on Phonetics. But the crash course is this: a Phoneme is the simplest sound you can make. There’s an international phoenetic alphabet (IPA) that you can find tons of online. Every distinct sound made by human language has a specific symbol to represent the sound. Learning to read these symbols and the sounds they make will make it easier to find sound links between words. Now, let’s get to the actual methods and the steps involved.

Method 1: The Library

You may have heard of a Sound Library before. For sound technicians, a sound library is a database of sound effects and noises they can Foley into film projects. Building a language can work the same way. In the Librarian method, look through the list of IPA and look for the sounds you want to use in your language. Think about the tone of the language, and whether you’re looking for something softer or harsher, and the kind of culture the people have. Once you have your library of phonemes, it’s just a question of how you want to go about forming words. You could roll die to decide syllables and which sounds to use, you could play it by ear, you could compare to languages you want to sound like. The main appeal of this method is that it creates a great consistency with the sound of a language.

Method 2: The Language Blender

You know you want your language to sound coarse and rough but you’re not sure how to make it sound that way? A good method I like using is taking common words that your world would use, such as Fire or Sun, and translate it into about 3-5 languages that fit the sound you’re trying to invoke. Once you have all of your words translated, you have two paths. Option 1: Find the middle ground. If 3/5 of your words had the letters ma next to each other, chances are, that’s a good pair of letters to carry over to your own language. Option 2: Take your real life languages and put them through the Language Mixer on Chaoticshiny.com. A major benefit of this method is systematically learning words in other languages, and even seeing the etymological roots that tie languages together. The one downside of this language building format is that you may end up with words that don’t mix well together, or as they mix, you find that the sounds of the words don’t tend to mesh well, so it’s important to have a Base Language, the root language you build your fictional language around. No matter what, include at least part of the translation from this language, and you’ll be more grounded in your approach. 

Method 3: The Root System

This is a conlang creating system I learned from Artifexian on Youtube, and I’ll link the video he made right [here] if you want to see it for yourself. He has a lot of great world building videos and I love his content, so don’t be shy about giving him your likes and support because he talks about a lot of the world building aspects people tend to gloss over, myself included. What this method does is it focuses on forming root words that then lead into forming other words.

This is a root system language sheet I designed based on my own fantasy world. In their culture, running water is associated with healing and cleaning because it carries off dirt and other foul things and wipes them away. For this reason, rivers have associations with cleanliness, healing, and life. And this is something worth keeping in mind when building your own language. How does the culture itself interact with the word you are describing? For instance, the reason we say “vandalize” to mean to destroy someone else’s property is because of the Vandal barbarians that plagued Europe during the last legs of the Roman Empire. Heck, the term Flanderize isn’t even that closely linked to the Simpsons, but it emerged as a result of Ned Flanders’ character becoming stock and one-note, which led to the creation of the term. When it comes to actually building the dictionary, this can be a really useful step. So, for example, let’s say the word for River in my language was Asar. A boatman might be Asarii, much like how we have work and worker, fight and fighter, dance and dancer, the suffix of -ii denotes someone who does the root term, in this case, they go on the river. Meanwhile, a fisher could be Asarakii, having Asar mean river, -ak as a suffix for a thing living in the river, and the -ii as a suffix for those who catch the things that live in the river. And for something more abstract like River of Time or River of Stars, you might get something like Asarag Talari.

UNIVERSAL CONLANG TIPS

Keep in mind the people the language exists for. if you’re creating a conlang for dragons, reptiles don’t have lips, so the labial sounds of [p], [b], [f], [v], and possibly even sounds that require lip shaping such as [o], [u], and [w] might not fit the creatures that need to be speaking. Furthermore, if the culture exists before global communication and they live next to the ocean, chances are, they won’t have a word for camel, desert, or sandstorm unless it’s a desert port city. This is why Dothraki has words for every kind of horse and no word for thank-you.

Remember that certain sounds can be switched around. Throughout human language, I’ve learned that certain letters can easily be switched out for each other, and this is in part due to linguistics history. Most of the letters that can be exchanged I actually realized while studying Grimm’s Law and the evolution of language, and by looking at Welsh in particular. In Welsh, the way to write a [f] sound is to write it as ff. When just one f is by itself, it becomes [v]. The sounds of [d], [t], [θ], and [ð] share a similar connection, as do [k] and [g], [ʃ] and [ꭓ], and [b] and [p]. So changing between these similar sounds could prove to be a useful strategy for mixing up your language.

You absolutely have to create a grammar system or you’re going to make a huge mess. That means word order, syntax, suffixes, tense, conjugation, and whatever else is needed. If it helps, learn how another language conjugates its terms. In Sumerian, the phrase “I am your king” is Lugdalzuimen. Lugdal means King, zu is your, and imen means “I am”. So word order is Object Possessive Subject. Then in the phrase Sesguene imes means “they are my brothers”. In actual word order it translates out as “brother my -s they are”. Now we see that the word order is Object Possessive Pluralization Subject. In the phrase Dumuninlagasakak, it becomes child queen Lagas of of. Meaning child [queen of Lagas] of or Child of the Queen of Lagas. By understanding how this language structures itself, something like the phrase River of Stars I made earlier could now be broken down to be something like Asartalariag (River Star -s of). I find it helps in this case to word it as “River star many of” to get “river of many stars” to figure out when the pluralizing suffix would be applied.

Resources:

Wiktionary.com

Chaoticshiny.com

http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/definitionlookup (for all of your ancient greek translation needs. Set it to Latin transliteration)

http://www.abair.tcd.ie/?lang=eng (because Google Translate doesn’t sound out Irish words)

https://www.wordreference.com/enfr/ (it’s set English to French, but it has a lot of languages, and it’s great because it also teaches you slang uses of words.)

[twelvedreamsfortheredqueen]

Observations on the Hierarchy Of the Guard of Priwen

The Guard of Priwen largely remains a mystery to us as the player throughout Vampyr. No matter how openly we see them patrol the streets as some form of underground night watch, we only see glimpses of their true, and supposedly resurrected power, let alone witness the history of what they were before the schism from their “cowardly” brothers, the Brotherhood of St. Paul’s Stole. As Lady Ashbury parts with us, the Guard of Priwen is a secret society, one of many in the dreary and eerie vampire underworld.

I have other plans to delve deeper into the militaristic madness that is the Guard of Priwen’s inner workings and possible historical backgrounds, but I first wanted to share this small piece regarding the one detail that is most obvious in the game: the several Mobs we encounter with their logos splattered all across it. Therefore, this will be a shorter analysis solely dedicated to the possible hierarchy within Priwen, combining datamined research, the lore, and some fun historical notes behind each and every rank!

As per usual, this analysis will have spoilers, this time all the way through! All parts of this post will discuss Vampyr’s lore in detail, so please skip if you do not wish to be spoiled! 

Tagging @comfycheesecakes, @orionali, @cursedbethechoice as I imagine some of this may be to each of your interests. 

To preface a starting point point: Usher elaborates on the history of Priwen’s conception when Jonathan speaks to him in the West End inside his crypt: 

Usher also writes of them in the Collectible “Laughing at the Guard”, explaining their origins and beliefs from a historical point. The Collectible helps to detail the inner turmoils that founded the Brotherhood as well as the detailed purpose behind its creation:

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This gives us a starting point to Priwen’s possible background and development. 1801 places the birth of the Guard of Priwen in the Georgian Era, beginning from 1714 to circa 1830 - 1837. 

You will also see a militant trend following Priwen which is also an obvious fact in game but characters like Archer Woodbead in The Docks or Dorothy Crane in Whitechapel, both in Districts with the highest concentration of Priwen, this is a very visible trend for those around them: 

Dorothy’s exchange occurs if you Spare her as Jonathan, revealing a harrowing fact about Priwen’s encroaching behaviour in their fanatical fear of keeping any sign of vampire activity eradicated. Beforehand, Priwen guards burst in to the Dispensary regardless of your Pillar Choice as Jonathan, with the patients downstairs being shot to death should you check again with Senses. The bodies no longer have visible heartbeats.

When Jonathan begins to gain access to the rich streets of the West End, it, too, struggles to avoid Priwen’s influence with not only their guard presence, but also their criminal presence! 

Inspector Charles Jerome Albright will speak to Jonathan about the recent happenings and murders in London, claiming that there are:

Jonathan has the option to then report a possible suspect, one of these being Geoffrey McCullum, the current leader of Priwen:

If you choose McCullum, Jonathan calls Priwen a group of “vigilantes”; a vigilante is someone, or a group, who attempts to enforce laws (or their ideas of what is law) without the authority to do so.

With this very worrying trend now established, let us fully move onto dissecting Priwen’s inner workings!

GUARD OF PRIWEN

What’s interesting to note is that a lot of the current enemies in GoP have different names depending on where you look—from either the canonical versions in the game themselves, to the game files, or even the concept art. I will be looking at all three sources for any comparisons!

PRIWEN

To begin dissection—I will first begin with the titular names of each organisation for each of their respective sections, beginning with the Guard of Priwen. “Priwen” is a reference to Geoffrey of Monmouth’s (Latin: Galfridus Monemutensis, Galfridus Arturus, Welsh: Gruffudd ap Arthur, Sieffre o Fynwy)  Arthurian legend titled “The History of the Kings of Britain”, or “De gestis Britonum” (On the Deeds of the Britons) or Historia regum Britanniae”, written circa. 1136.“Priwen” is the name of King Arthur’s shield, hence, the Guard of Priwen:

“Without a moment’s delay each man present, inspired by the benediction given by this holy man, rushed to put on his armour and to obey Dubricius’ orders. Arthur himself put on a leather jerkin worthy of so great a king. On his head he put a golden helmet, with a crest carved in the shape of a dragon; and across his shoulders a circular shield called Priwen, on which there was painted a likeness of the Blessed Mary, Mother of God, which forced him to be thinking perpetually of her.” — Legends of Arthur, Richard Barber, 2003.

Arthurian myth utilized in several aspects of Vampyr, with this being one of the more prominent examples. The symbol of Priwen is also referencing this myth, as it resembles a Latin cross with a circle to represent a shield:

LEADER

This is relatively standard, but we do know that the head of the Guard of Priwen is always referred to as “leader”, as the notes done by Geoffrey McCullum and Carl Eldritch thus far are denoted by “leader”; the only exception is reserved for Kendall Stone who is also denoted as “Founder”. “Leader” is rather self-explanatory, as it simply means “someone who leads a group”. Interestingly, it also seems to be used for those who are not the head of Priwen either, as we see in the scouting note during Thelma’s side-quest: a female “team leader” who went by Amanda Tilton. This seems to indicate there is no specific or official title to discern the head of Priwen, perchance making “leader” more of slang or casual terminology that merely stuck through the generations. The below are either written manuscripts by the leaders themselves, or copies from another. 

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Kendall Stone’s denotation and signature:

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Carl Eldritch’s denotation and signature:

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Geoffrey McCullum’s denotation and signature:

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CHAPLAIN/SHEPHERD/PREACHER

(For the purpose of relevancy, I will mostly be focusing on the Chaplain terminology as that is the canonical one we see in-game, but will still be examining the Chaplain’s alternative terms and their origins.)

Chaplains are curious. You do not see them until much later in the game (other than certain exceptions regarding side-quests), there are two versions of them according to the game files, that being the Shepherd_Preacher and the Shepherd_Fanatic, but only one model, the Fanatic, remains in the game. Shepherd_Preacher is the first version of the Chaplain which we see in the E3 2017 Trailer. Their enemy busts are below; the model shown in the game files is only of the Fanatic:

Concept art also reveals them being originally labelled as “Preacher”, with a single exception being that sometimes, the loading screen within the game will use the title:

 Florent Auguy

The word “chaplain” is borrowed from Old French “chapelain”, which in-turn stems from the Medieval-to-late Latin “cappellānus” that also hails from a Medieval Latin to Late Latin word read as “cappella”. Notably, “cappella”  is defined as a chapel or a choir. The story of chaplains themselves hail from a 4th-century practice:

In the 4th century, chaplains (Latin cappellani) were so called because they kept St. Martin’s famous half cape (cappella, diminutive of cappa). This sacred relic gave its name to the tent and later to the simple oratory or chapel where it was preserved. To it were added other relics that were guarded by chaplains appointed by the king during the Merovingian and Carolingian periods, and particularly during the reign of Charlemagne, who appointed clerical ministers (capellani) who lived within the royal palace. In addition to their primary duty of guarding the sacred relics, they also said mass for the king on feast days, worked in conjunction with the royal notaries, and wrote any documents the king required of them. In their duties chaplains thus gradually became more identified with direct service to the monarch as advisers in both ecclesiastical and secular matters.

In modern usage, a chaplain holds a strange position within the religious circle they reside in, most notably because the definition of a “chaplain” is a cleric who is assigned to a secular institution such as a hospital, prison, military forces, universities, and so on. 

n. A member of a religious body (often, but not always, of the clergy) officially assigned to give pastoral care at an institution, group, private chapel, etc. A person without religious affiliation who carries out similar duties in a secular context.

…

Clergy and ministers appointed to a variety of institutions and corporate bodies—such as cemeteries, prisons, hospitals, schools, colleges, universities, embassies, legations, and armed forces—usually are called chaplains.

Often they are considered a religious leader or some form of a figurehead, with some chaplains previously being leaders of a chapel before their assignment to a different institution. Given Priwen’s circumstance of being an underground militia, the usage of the word makes perfect sense as the Chaplains of Priwen seem to hold the same responsibilities of real-life, in this case, military chaplains (as they are called) who serve in the armed forces (the concept of allowing religious figures into battle, to this day, still holds much controversy), or we can at least assume they do some of the following which are: 

A chaplain performs basically the same functions in most armed forces. A chaplain in the U.S. military must furnish or arrange for religious services and ministrations, advise his commander and fellow staff officers on matters pertaining to religion and morality, administer a comprehensive program of religious education, serve as counselor and friend to the personnel of the command, and conduct instruction classes in the moral guidance program of his service.

Beyond that, a “shepherd” has a variety of religious messages but to keep it short: “shepherd” stems from the Middle English word “schepherde” to the Old English “sċēaphierde” which is a mixture of the two words “sċēap” (”sheep”) and “hierde” (”herdsman”). A female version of the word is a “shepherdess”. The word itself has multiple sorts of definitions, with a rather funny one to think about at times:

n. A person who tends sheep, especially a grazing flock. (figuratively) Someone who watches over, looks after, or guides somebody. (figuratively) The pastor of a church; one who guides others in religion. (poetic) A swain (”young man”); a rustic male lover.

A “preacher” is as it sounds: someone who spreads their worldview or philosophy. In this case, it would be perhaps a gospel or a sermon. From the Old French “preecheor” (”prêcheur”), to Latin “praedicator” (”public praiser”, “proclaimer”). A female preacher is known as a “preacheress”.

EXECUTIONER/TRAPPER

Executioners, or Trappers as the concept art referred them as (see above), are the crossbow snipers wearing red, hooded garbs, able to throw gas grenades and flaming bolts, bereft of any melee resistance whatsoever. According to the game files, there are three types of Executioners. Here are the files:

Alongside their respective busts labelled Chemical, Fire, and Wood, their models are instead labelled CrossBow, FireCrossbow, and Sniper:

The word “executioner” is a combination of the words “execution” , which is borrowed from Old French “exécution”  (c. 1360) of the Latin “executio”, an agent noun (a word deriving from another word that denotes an action of some sort), of “exequi” (”to follow out”) which stems from “ex” (out) and “sequor” (”follow”) and of course, “-er”, from Middle English “-er” and “-ere”, as well as Old English “-ere”, and Proto-Germanic “-ārijaz” used as a suffix. “Executioner” is also a fairly self-explanatory definition; it literally means “one who executes”, but to ensure that we are being thorough:

n An official person who carries out the capital punishment of a criminal. (archaic) Executor (one who conducts a task). A hit man, especially being in some organization.

An “executioner” was historically seen as a “hangman” or “headsman”—a reference to the practice of execution via. means of public decapitation. This, alongside the file name of “Sniper”; the fact that the Executioner is only ranged, defined as “hit man, especially being in some organization” and that beheading would often result in instantaneous death, the choice of title is very distinct. Like beheadings, a sniper aims to kill with a single action—an underleveled Jonathan will easily be one-shot by an Executioner from afar, making their name strikingly fitting. The fact that they are a part of Priwen, an “organization” of sorts that specializes in executions of the undead, is simply a fond, bloody coincidence. 

In comparison, a “trapper” is, well, one who “traps” something, often animals for their hides or other precious materials. This may be an insinuation that literal traps of some kind were going to be added to the final product but were inevitably cut out. It does, however, fit Priwen’s perception of vampires—that they are feral animals to entrap and be rid of.

INVESTIGATOR

This will be short, as it is a term used in the game files and concept art for three ranks od Priwen, which happen to be the most squishy of mobs: Priwen Rookies (Rookie), Priwen Cadets (Veteran), and Priwen Gunners (Range).

“Investigator” is also self-explanatory: “one who investigates”, which is to say: 

v. (transitive) To inquire into or study in order to ascertain facts or information.      to investigate the causes of natural phenomena (transitive) To examine, look into, or scrutinize in order to discover something hidden or secret.      to investigate an unsolved murder (intransitive) To conduct an inquiry or examination. 

Said to have derived from the mid-1500s, from Latin “investigator” which hails from “investigare”. Interestingly, we know that female versions of each of these models exist in the game files apart from NPCs, confirmation of a female “leader” as shown above, as well as hearing female voices in the Prologue of Vampyr when Jonathan must escape the mass grave at dawn. Women were shown in the Alpha iterations of the game. Elwood confirms the presence of women in Priwen if you speak to him soon after Edgar’s kidnapping:

The feminine usage of this word is known as “investigatrix”, from Latin “investīgātrix”.

ROOKIE

Rookies are the most numerous types of enemies within the game as well as the first one you encounter within the Prologue. They only use melee weapons and hold resistance to Ranged Attacks. The sheer amount of them you find are most likely a reference to the Guard’s revitalized state in the wake of the Skal Epidemic. Ashbury mentions that Priwen was “almost gone” before Priwen began its new wave of mass recruitments: 

Jonathan will frequently hear references to this mass recruitment when wandering around idle Guards:

“Rookie” is also a rather simple word to dissect: an altering of the word “recruit” and “-ie”. There is also a possibly Dutch origin from the word “broekie”, short for “broekvent”, lit. meaning “a boy still in short trousers”, which explains why “rookie” is often used as a sort teasing term. To be technical:

n. plural “rookies”

An inexperienced recruit, especially in the police or armed forces. A novice.

As the first definition shows, it does have some bearing to Priwen’s overall trend of having a nomenclature relating to militaristic forces.

The Rookie’s respective enemy UI portrait and model:

CADETS/VETERANS

Cadets, or Veterans as the game files name them, are essentially Rookies with guns or flaming torches, only being somewhat tougher than fresh-blooded Rookies. This can be inferred as a progression in rank—a Rookie that’s survived their first couple of nights on patrol. They certainly look more well-garbed, and the term “veteran” also fits with this idea of experience alongside surviving the dreary, vampiric-ridden streets.

The Cadet’s enemy UI and model:

An interesting feature to note at this point about each of Priwen’s enemies is that the majority of them seem to have an undercut. At the time (and even now), undercuts were done on men deployed to the war as the militaristic style of the era—Jonathan and McCullum share ones of their own. This hints to Priwen’s military connections that many NPCs remark on (as shown above) and that some of Priwen’s members do hail from military backgrounds which are demonstrated in their extreme firepower and access to various parts of the city.

“Cadet” stems from French “cadet” from a southwestern French known as Gascon Occitan “capdet”, further back into the Late Latin “capitellum” (”headling”) shortened version of “caput” (”head”), sharing English form by 1634. “Cadet”, unsurprisingly, is also a term with military usage. The female version would be spelt “cadette”. It also holds a definition for “junior”:   

n. plural cadets

A student at a military school who is training to be an officer. (largely historical) A younger or youngest son, who would not inherit as a firstborn son would. (in compounds, chiefly in genealogy) Junior. (See also the heraldic term cadency.)      a cadet branch of the family

“Veteran” is borrowed from Middle French “vétéran”, of Late or Vulgar Latin “veterānus” of the word “vetus” (”old” or “aged”). It is a rather official word referencing one who has served in the military or armed forces, most specific to older soldiers or those who have seen long years of service. While the age of Priwen’s Guards can certainly be up for debate—Cadets, while relatively squishy, seem to be what Rookies advance to should they survive their first nights at the mercy of patrols, facing whatever awaits them during it.

GUNNER

Gunners are another frequent, early mob of Priwen that you encounter. They are about as numerous as Rookies and equal in their frailty, only they seem to be Rookies with more additions to their design and opt to only use Ranged Attacks, much like their fellow Executioners. The portrait shows no difference as it is a reused UI bust, but their outfits differ slightly.

“Gunner” sounds straightforward but does hold a military usage. One can literally define “gunner” as “someone who uses a gun”, but the word itself is a rank used in the British Army Royal Artillery. It is abbreviated as “Gnr”, and is equivalent to the military rank of a “Private”, which makes sense. They hold similar stats to Rookies, Rookies are stated to essentially be new recruits—privates usually act as the lowest, entry-level rank in the military after training has completed, which means that Gunners, too, are on par with Rookies in terms of Priwen’s hierarchy. 

BRAWLER/ENFORCER

Brawlers are quite the mixed bag of things. There are three different variations of them in the game files, are seen relatively early in the game, and serve as the brutish powerhouses Jonathan has to face when running into more of Priwen’s hordes. We seem them with heavy guns, a shield on their left arm, gas, and flames. A wide assortment of anti-vampire materials is cast onto a single kind of member, which proves interesting.  In the game files, they are known as Enforcers with three names: Flamer, Ram, and Shield (”Tank” seems to be used generally amongst all of them for clothing files).

“Brawlers” is defined as “one who brawls”, which is to say: “fight or quarrel”—of Middle English “braule” and “brall” (”brawl, squabble”) of earlier “braulen” and “brallen” (”to clamour, boast, quarrel”). Similar words from Middle High German (”prālen”; “to boast, flaunt”)), Low German (”brallen”; “to brag”), Dutch (”brallen”; “to boast”), and Danish (”bralle”; “chatter, jabber”) have also been considered, whose meanings make sense. Priwen’s guards hold no shortage of leech-related insults, but the Brawlers have quite the large assortment of them out of every other Guard member. A show of their imposing sizes and statures, I would wager. However, their large array of weapons, brute force, and usage of miniature bosses imply that Brawlers are quite high on the ranking list. Chaplains are the only thing larger than them, and it has been established that Chaplains are sort of seen as pious, leading figures. Consider this when taking a look at the game files term for Brawlers: Enforcers.

“Enforcers” is a combination of “enforce” and “-er”, with “enforce” coming from Old French “enforcier”, of the Late Latin “infortiāre”, from “in-” and “fortis” ((physically)“strong”)). I emphasize this word for the Brawler for one definition in particular: 

n.

One who enforces. The member of a group, especially of a gang, charged with keeping dissident members obedient.

Ram is also a reference to a battering ram (and the ability in which they charge at you) used in the British Police Forces. The second definition is specific to a Mob Enforcer. Priwen has access to multiple parts of London, with heavy access to firepower, large numbers, and seemingly free reign once night comes, kept entirely away from law enforcement. This is what discerns Priwen from a gang per say—their power and influence put them upwards to that of a Mob, or a “traditional gang” which is essentially a gang with overarching influence upon a region, to the point that they nearly act as the local law enforcement. Multiple mobs/traditional gangs existed, some of notable fame, throughout the Victorian Era well into the World Wars, many of which centred in the East End much like Priwen is: Peaky Blinders, Birmingham Boys, the “Sabini” gang, Hoxton Gang, The Yiddishers, and several others. 

Brawlers essentially being Mob Enforcers must mean they hold a lot of trust within Priwen to both be given the position of watching the other men, as well as proving they can also follow through with said position. 

With all of what we know of Priwen now defined, here is a chart of what I believe to be the hierarchical structure within the Guard of Priwen from what we have gathered:

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As Ashbury says: like all good societies, Priwen is still very much a secretive one even with such open recruitment. There may be inner workings we are unaware of, and what we have been revealed to may only be scratching the surface of what truly hides within the esoteric, fanatic-hunting organised Mob that Priwen has built itself into. Worse more is the mystery behind their schism with the Brotherhood: a once united group, now a duality that remains incessantly at odds. The way the current Brotherhood organises themselves is much more esoteric and theological than that of militaristic Priwen, a further representation of their dichotomy being at odds.

CREDITS:

None of this data collection would have been possible without the informative help of @wolfsirius and @orionali. Of course, I will never write a post without thanking @cursedbethechoice for their initial, contributive works to the lore of this fandom and for continuing to inspire me throughout. 

The tool I used to view these files was from Gildor’s Umodel Viewer.  

EXTRA COMMENTS:

This essay is exactly 3,724 words long!

It’s been quite a long while since I’ve written anything despite being active on the blog. Nearly a year now! I’m hoping this small introduction allows me to ease my way back to the projects I wanted to share (which are a lot) both here in full, and show peeks of on Twitter! Thank you to those who have continued to follow this blog despite the time gap. I hope to be much more frequent with Lore posts here!

You may notice a tag at the bottom labeled “secret societies series”. That is because I intend to have a small series of analyses dedicated to the three major factions we witness in Vampyr: The Guard of Priwen, The Brotherhood of St. Paul’s Stole, and The Ascalon Club. This will be the catch-all tag for any analyses relating to those topics!  …With a possible mention of the Druid Order (mentioned in the “Blood Goddess Heresy” Collectible). 

Other “series” are still in the works!

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ALL SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY (in no particular order):

Legends of Arthur, Richard Barber, 2003 “GANGS”, Bill Sanders, February 2016 — Oxford University Press Chaplain, ENCYCLOPÆDIA BRITANNICA Oxford English Dictionary Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary Wiktionary Online Etymology Dictionary The British Army Website’s British Army Structure London Metropolitan Police’s Article of the Enforcer Wikivisually’s Article on the Enforcer (battering ram) Etymology of “Chaplain” – Traditional & Professional, Rev. Dr. Michael G. Maness, 1998, revised 2015, formerly published as “Meaning of Chaplaincy” The etymology of “rookie” in Wikitionary The etymology of “chaplain” in Wikitionary The etymology of “brawl” in Wikitionary The etymology of “enforce” in Wikitionary Online Etymology’s Dictionary’s Page on “enforce” The Mob Museum in Las Vegas—National Museum of Organized Crime & Law Enforcement Online Etymology’s Dictionary’s Page on “veteran” Online Etymology’s Dictionary’s Page on “shepherd” Online Etymology’s Dictionary’s Page on “preacher” The etymology of “shepherd” in Wikitionary. “investigate” in The Century Dictionary, The Century Co., New York, 1911 “investigate” in Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, G. & C. Merriam, 1913 King Arthur: The Mystery Unravelled By Chris Barber Journey to Avalon: The Final Discovery of King Arthur By Chris Barber, David Pykitt The Welsh Academy Encyclopædia of Wales. John Davies, Nigel Jenkins, Menna Baines and Peredur Lynch (2008) pg. 668

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Oh, How the Mighty Fall [In Love] CHAPTER ONE (Ben Hardy x OC)

Lily Anne Mercury is brought in to help with Bohemian Rhapsody at the request of her Uncle Bri and Uncle Rog, and along the way, she might meet someone to share her life with. The only problem with this is that while their friends and the world can see that they’re perfect for each other, they’re going to be fully blind to this for a while.

DISCLAIMER: I’m fully aware that it would’ve been physically impossible for Jim and Freddie to have a child even with this method during the time they were alive, but the idea of Freddie as a dad and the idea of how his child would turn out to be was just too sweet for me to not write. I’m also aware that I have 2 more fics in progress and I must make a masterlist, but as I’ve previously stated in other fic disclaimers, I am technologically challenged and quite overwhelmed at the moment. I apologize for this, because you all deserve the best from me, and it may take me a while to get to a place where I feel comfortable enough with the quality of everything to produce it. I do have a problem with being a perfectionist when it comes to my work, but I’m working on making that better.

April 15th, 1989

Freddie couldn’t help but smile as he saw the bundle he and Jim had been waiting for so long finally heading towards his arms. Finally, their little girl was here.

Finally, they had the child they always wanted.

Finally, they could hold a tiny person that was as close to a truly representative biological combination of the two of them.

The little girl is placed in Freddie’s arms and the tears start flowing when she opens her eyes and squirms her little arms out of her swaddle. She’s absolutely gorgeous, with Freddie’s eyes and nose, and dimples similar to Jim’s.

“Hello, darling. Welcome to the world,” Freddie tearfully coos to the girl. “Your father and I have been waiting for you for so long.”

The little girl reaches up with one hand to tug on her father’s mustache, and he lets her, smiling despite the pain. Jim watches and smiles, wrapping an arm around his partner.

They’ll send a lovely gift to Annie, the woman who carried their daughter. She was absolutely perfect, because not only was she a wonderful person, but also because her genetic makeup is nearly identical to Jim’s. Lily Anne is by all means, an accurate representation of what a child with Jim and Freddie’s genetics would look like.

“Don’t hog her, Fred. Pass her here,” Jim jokes, and cradles the little girl as she’s passed to him. “Hello, Lily. You don’t know it yet, but your papa and I love you so much already. We will always be here for you. Always. Even in death, you can bet that we’ll be keeping a close eye on you, love.”

That last sentence hits Freddie in a very sore spot, and he chokes back mournful tears. He’s not sure how much time he has left. It’s probably not even a year, based on what the doctors have told him, and that hurts badly, because all he wants now is to be there to see his daughter turn a year old.

Annie watches this and smiles sadly, squeezing Freddie’s hand. “It was an honor carrying her for you, Fred. I’m glad I could give you the best gift anyone could ever receive.”

He sniffs and looks at Annie. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. She’s wonderful, and you’re just... darling, you’re the closest thing to an angel I’ll ever get to meet.”

Annie squeezes his hand, and Lily cries out in Jim’s arms at her papa’s distress. Freddie leans in and coos to her, tears rolling down his cheeks as he does.

“Don’t cry, darling. Please, don’t. I’m alright, love. Just getting into my emotions, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”

Lily sniffles and reaches for Freddie, and he takes her, holding her to his chest.

Jim watches and smiles. “She’s going to be amazing, Fred.”

Freddie looks at him seriously, taking a deep breath. “Promise me one thing, darling.”

“Of course, Fred.”

“You’ll make sure she knows how much I love her, even after I’m gone,” he says, rubbing the baby’s back as she falls asleep.

“I would do that no matter what, you know that.”

“Also fix her teeth and get her singing lessons,” he continues, “And if you see a good statement piece that screams my name, get that too.”

Jim laughs and sits back, and the two of them fall into a comfortable silence as they watch their newborn sleep.

May, 2018

Lily Anne curses as she drives over a particularly sharp rock and the front left tire of her vintage Rolls Royce squeals. “Stay intact, please! I don’t want you to get scratched, my love.”

She pulls down her round Dior sunglasses, and looks around the parking lot in the middle of nowhere for a spot. “Damn, why’d they choose to film in the middle of bloody nowhere?”

She finally parks, and steps out of her car, fixing up her hair and outfit, and clutching her bag. Beginning to walk over to the replica Wembley Stadium stage, she sees a head of white curls next to a man with a white beard and dark Ray Bans ahead of her. She knows that if she yells to Roger, he won’t hear her. He’s deaf as hell and blind as a bat. That leaves only one option.

“Uncle Bri! Wait up!” She yells and begins to run to catch up to the men. “I’m wearing heels, so you need to slow down!”

Brian stops and lets Roger know to stall, and when he turns around, he smiles at the girl.

She finally gets to them and huffs. “Why’d you choose this bloody field in the middle of nowhere to film? Christine can’t handle that and you know it!”

Roger frowns. “Why the hell would you drive your Rolls Royce so far? It’s vintage! If you don’t treat that car better, I’m taking it!”

Lily gasps. “How dare you! I would never let a blind old bat take my car.”

Roger playfully hits her shoulder, and Brian opens his arms for a hug. Lily gladly presses herself against the taller man, her head coming up to his chest.

“Thanks for coming to help us on this project, Lily. It’s very appreciated,” he says, ruffling her hair.

When she pulls away and continues walking with them, she shrugs. “I had to. It’s about my papa’s legacy. I can’t miss out on that. I may not have known him for long, but he has to be done justice, and I can help with that.”

Roger smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “You’re already doing that by writing amazing music, love. How’s the band doing?”

She smiles back up at her uncle. “Amazing! The reviews of our new album call it our best since 2012, and we might just get an award for it.”

Lily Anne and Room 301’s latest album was all about the struggles of living in London when one is raised with the band members’ cultural and social backgrounds. With a guitarist being the child of Nigerian immigrants, two lesbians from conservative Welsh Methodist and Irish-Catholic households respectively, and a frontwoman who was raised by a gay Irish man but also a Zoroastrian extended family, it made for an interesting set of problems faced by them collectively.

The band was formed when they were all roommates in college, during their freshman year. Jim went to all the concerts and gigs he possibly could, and the four girls always loved going to Garden Lodge afterward for tea and cake.

Roger grins and looks down at his goddaughter. “Wonderful! We’re so proud of you.”

Brian nods and smiles at the girl. “Your fathers would be so happy to hear that.”

She nods, smiling at the men. “Jim had a folder of clippings from the uni paper articles about us. I just wish he was there to see our first award ceremony.”

Brian squeezes her shoulder. “I’m sure they were both there, watching. They loved you more than anything, Lily.”

Roger smiles fondly. “Remember when Freddie brought her into rehearsal in that fur coat and held her the whole time?”

Brian nods and laughs. “It was so funny to see her try to pry the microphone from his hands the whole time. We couldn’t use any of the audio from that day.”

Lily looks up at the men and smiles. “I clearly still wear fur.” She twirls in her new mint colored fur coat.

Roger nods. “You’re dressing more like Freddie every day.”

“Thank you, darling.” She flips her hair dramatically and continues walking, and her uncles just smile, watching her go along.

—

Lily is impressed by the accuracy of the set, and so are Brian and Roger. Now all that’s left to see is the actors. A meeting is called on stage, and Lily Anne sits with Brian and Roger, nursing a cup of coffee in her manicured hands.

She sees the boys come out in their costumes, and is awestruck by Rami’s look. The makeup and hair department really did well on the accuracy. All that’s missing is the teeth. Joe looks pretty much like John Deacon, but it’s scary how accurate Gwil looks when it comes to resembling Brian.

Then, Ben comes out. The look is farthest from the original, but damn. The boy looks good. If he looked more like Roger, he would simply have too much power. Ovaries would explode.

Brian begins, greeting the boys. “Hello, everyone! You all look great. We just wanted to make sure that you all meet the newest member of the Bohemian Rhapsody family. You probably recognize her, since she’s in the public eye, but we also wanted to give her a moment to introduce herself.”

Roger gestures to Lily and she smiles. “Alright, then. I’m Lily Anne, and I’m Freddie and Jim’s daughter. I’m very excited to work with you all, and I’d love to help in any way I can. I can give most of you pointers on how to navigate the characters you play, but even if I can’t, I probably know people who can.” Lily shrugs. “That’s about all I have to say. Kick ass and do my papa and the rest of the band justice. I trust that you all can do your jobs well.”

The cast is still pretty tired, but they gratefully smile and nod.

Brian smiles. “Great! You can all go back to hair and makeup.”

The cast disperses with quiet thank you’s and waves, and Brian smiles.

Lily looks up at him. “The Bohemian Rhapsody family?”

He nods. “This is something that I think will create a close bond between those boys. They already mesh so well together. You should go meet some of them one on one, Lil. The trailers are behind the stage. They’re all in a big one, getting ready together.”

Lily Anne nods. “Sure. I’ll go do that now.”

—

She knocks on the door of the trailer and a makeup artist opens it, smiling.

“You must be Lily Anne. Come on in!” The artist greets her, smiling.

“Thank you, darling. What’s your name?” She walks inside.

“Katie. Nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand for a shake, and Lily shakes it, smiling.

“The pleasure is all mine, love. Now, Brian said that I should go back here to get to know you all better since we’ll be together for a while.”

Rami waves, unable to speak since the teeth are being put in his mouth. Lily waves back at him, smiling.

Joe smiles. “Hi! I’m a huge fan of your music.”

Lily smiles and puts a hand over her heart. “Thank you so much, darling! I appreciate that very much.” She pauses and looks at him more closely. “You look awfully familiar. Have I seen you in something before?”

He shrugs. “I was in Jurassic Park. I was the little kid.”

Lily gasps. “That’s what it is! Wow! You seem very well adjusted for a child actor.”

Joe grins. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

She turns her attention to Gwil, who now has the wig fully on.

“I must say, Gwilym, has anyone told you that you look exactly like Brian? It’s terrifying,” she comments, still in awe. “I feel like you’re actually Brian in this wig.”

Gwil smiles. “Yeah, it’s pretty insane. I think that I probably look the closest to the real thing.”

Lily nods. “I agree. I mean, you all look absolutely lovely, but for you, the accuracy is downright frightening.”

Ben speaks up, looking into the mirror. “I know I look furthest from the real thing. I hope fans don’t nitpick that too much.”

Lily scoffs. “I’m willing to bet that part of the reason why you were cast was that you’re similar enough, but also prettier than Roger ever was. He’s an egotistical wanker. He’d do something like that.”

Ben laughs, turning partially red, and Lily feels herself trying not to visibly show her arousal. What a beautiful man. She’s already in love.

“I certainly hope my acting abilities have something to do with my casting,” he says, trying to become less red.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Of course they do, darling! You were amazing in Eastenders. Why’d you quit that? I loved it.”

He sighs. “I want to be seen as more than just a pretty blonde. I became uncomfortable with being shirtless so often and wanted to be used as more than just something that’s good to look at. Now, I try to take more jobs that don’t require me to be shirtless.”

Lily nods. Damn, he has substance and he’s gorgeous. She needs to hop on that once filming is over. “I understand. I promise you, you will be amazing in this, and I’m sure it will open up more opportunities that you want afterward.”

He smiles at her and she has to keep herself from physically melting. Fuck, he’s so pretty and nice and wonderful.

“I really appreciate that, Lil. Can I call you that? Lil?” He asks her.

‘You can call me whatever you want, you beautiful man.’

“Of course! That’s fine.”

Rami finally gets the teeth in and looks to Lily. “Finally, I can speak. I just wanted to say that it’s an absolute honor to play your father, and I would love nothing more than to make him and you proud.” Rami’s sentences are slow, calculated, and incredibly heartfelt.

Lily walks over and smiles, giving him a hug. “That means so much to me, Rami. Really, it does. You look amazing, and I can’t wait to see you perform. You’ll all do amazing.”

The cast thanks her, and she can’t help but melt at Ben’s smile.

“After today is finished, would you all like to go to Garden Lodge with me instead of sleeping in these trailers? I have so many spare rooms and we can order food and get to know each other.” She offers.

“Can Lucy, Allen, and Aaron come as well? They’re part of this as well.” Rami asks.

She nods. “Of course. My Rolls Royce won’t fit that many people, but I’m sure at least one of you has a car here.”

Gwilym nods. “I have my car here. I can help bring people.”

Joe smiles and looks up at Lily. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to ride in the Rolls Royce. I’ve never done that before and it sounds fun.”

Lily grins. “What if I told you that it’s a vintage Rolls Royce?”

Joe and Ben’s eyes light up.

Ben looks up at her. “Please let me in that car.”

‘I’d let you in more places than my car.’

“Of course, love. You’re all welcome to ride in my car.” Lily grins at the boys, who look at each other excitedly. “I’ll ask the director if I can bring you all home with me tonight,” She teasingly says before she leaves the trailer with a flourish.

Katie smiles and moves to adjust Ben’s wig, trying to get it to be perfect. “She seems to be very nice.”

Joe nods. “I like her. What do you think, Ben?”

Ben turns to face him. “Why are you asking me in particular?”

Rami turns to look at him. “Because you seem very interested in her, and her in you.”

Ben scoffs. “I was being nice. We just met her. It’s too soon to make that judgment.”

The rest of the boys look at each other skeptically.

Joe smiles at Gwil. “I give it four months before one of them makes a move.”

Gwil raises a brow. “Who do you think will make the first move, though?”

Rami thinks, and shrugs. “Too soon to tell.”

By this point, Ben is bright red. “Can you all just stop? I’d like that.”

Katie sighs. “I’ll need to put on a lot more foundation if he stays this red. I’d love to continue this later, but now it needs to stop.”

The boys relent but still smile to themselves. They’ll just sit back and watch the two discover their attraction on their own.

Lily Anne gets permission to take home the boys and Lucy, Allen, and Aaron. She will spend some time with Aaron, especially since he plays Jim, and for her, it must be accurate. Her father is by all means, the most important man who has been and will ever be in her life, and she will defend him until the day she dies.

January 1, 2010

Lily frowns as she picks up her flip phone from her purse and steps outside of the frat party she’s at. “Hello? Who is this?”

“Hi, Lily. It’s Laura, your father’s nurse,” a stressed out voice from the other end responds to Lily’s inquiry. “I was concerned you wouldn’t pick up since you’re probably busy and don’t recognize my new number.”

“I always respond, Laura. What is it? Is my dad alright?” Lily becomes concerned. She knows that her father is getting increasingly worse from his cancer and AIDS, and he doesn’t have much longer to live.

“He’s... he wants you to come. Immediately. To be completely honest, I don’t fully know why he’s asking for you, but he sounds distressed,” Laura explains.

Lily’s eyes widen and she blinks back tears. Dear god, please don’t let this be what she thinks it is. Please, if there’s something out there that loves her, she will pray to it to keep her father alive.

“Say no more. I’ll be right over,” she responds, hanging up and calling over a cab.

-

Garden Lodge is only ten minutes away from her university, since she wants to make sure to always be there for her sick father, and it is the longest ten minutes she’s ever experienced in her life. When the ride is over, she throws money at the cabbie and tells him to keep the change before running inside the gate and banging on the door.

Laura opens it and she continues to run in her stilettos and short party dress. When she gets up the stairs she hears the gentle sounds of her papa’s voice singing Love of My Life, and enters her dad’s room.

Jim turns to see his daughter practically throw herself on the bed and hold his hand.

“I came as soon as Laura called. What is it, Dad?” Lily’s voice shakes.

“Love... I think you know what’s happening. We both know what’s happening,” he tells his daughter, brushing a stray hair from her face.

“Dad, you’ve had scares before. Maybe it’s just another one of those,” she tries to say, attempting to convince herself more than him while tears threaten to fall from her eyes.

He wipes away a single tear from her face and smiles gently at her. “No. This is different, Lily. I know it.”

She begins sobbing, moving to hug her father around the waist and rest her head on his chest like she did when she was little. “I don’t want you to go, Dad. Please, try to hold on a little longer.”

He strokes her hair and smiles. “Your Papa is waiting for me, darling. I’ve held on for as long as I can, my love. If I could stay with you forever I would.”

She can’t speak clearly, but squeezes her father and listens as his heartbeat begins to slow down. “I love you so much, Dad. Thank you so much for raising me and being so wonderful—“ She’s cut off by a sob. “I’ll miss you so much, Dad.”

Jim sniffles and tilts her head up to look at him. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Lily Anne. I’m so proud of you. I love you and the band so much, and I know you’ll succeed in whatever you choose to do. I’ll always be close by, and you know that. Your Papa will finally have me to watch you by his side.”

She blinks away tears and tries to make a joke. “What about the cats, Dad?”

Jim laughs, ruffling her hair. “I’m sure Delilah is there in his lap, watching us in judgment because we’re not petting her.”

The two of them laugh sadly and hold each other close, quieting down as Brian’s guitar wails.

“I’ve got to go, Lily. He’s becoming insistent,” Jim whispers, and she nods.

“Give him a hug for me, please.” She responds, hugging him.

“Will do, love. Your Papa and I will be watching.”

“Even when I get married?” Lily sniffles and looks up at her father.

“I’ll knock over your Papa’s ashes when we find the man for you,” Jim responds, kissing her forehead before closing his eyes and finally, drifting off into the afterlife.

When Lily Anne places her ear to his chest, she hears nothing.

Laura walks inside the room and looks at the scene in front of her, and sighs, taking the needle off of the record as Good Company starts playing.

Lily Anne simply holds her father tightly before sitting up, kissing his forehead, and moving to leave the room.

-

Brian is sleeping when Lily calls, and picks up the phone groggily, sitting up in bed. “Who’s calling at this hour?”

Sniffles.

“Can I help you?” He’s beginning to get annoyed, and now Anita has woken up, resting one hand on his shoulder.

“U-Uncle Bri, can I come over?” Lily Anne is practically crying over the phone.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” He frowns, and Anita sits next to him, trying to listen in on the call.

“I-It’s my Dad... h-he’s...” She begins sobbing again, and Brian brings a hand up to his lips.

“Oh no. Lily Anne, I’m so sorry. Come on over, love. I’ll call Roger and tell him the news,” Brian offers, trying to console the girl.

“Th-Thank you. I’ll be right over,” she says before hanging up.

When he puts down the phone, he breathes heavily, blinking back tears. “At least he’s with Freddie.”

Anita looks down. “Poor Lily. I’ll start up a pot of tea for her, you call Roger.” She kisses his cheek and moves to go to the kitchen.

-

Roger picks up on the third ring, and he’s angry at being woken up at this hour. “Brian, what the hell are you doing calling me this late—“

“Jim’s gone. Lily is coming over to my place, and I’m sure she’d appreciate you joining us.”

Roger is silent for a moment before sighing. “I’ll be right there. Should I tell the kids?”

“Once they’re awake. Right now, Lily needs us.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

-

Lily Anne rings the doorbell, still sniffling. Laura had driven her over before calling the funeral company and beginning to make arrangements.

Brian opens the door and sighs, hugging the girl tightly. She sobs into his chest, shaking like a leaf. The oversized sweater of Jim’s that she’s wearing now only accentuates how small she is, and right now she doesn’t look like a 20-year-old woman, but a little girl.

That night is full of tears, tea, and ends with Lily Anne falling asleep in a guest bedroom, mascara staining her eyes and running down her cheeks in rivulets.

Lily Anne smiles as Ben and Joe gape at her car, clearly impressed by the beautiful vintage. She’s very proud of Christine. She moves to open up the trunk and help the boys put their overnight bags inside, and moves a box of sage out of the way.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you have a huge box of sage in your car?” Gwilym asks her.

“I don’t mind at all. Actually, I sage my entire house, so the ghosts don’t cause too much trouble.”

Ben turns and frowns when he hears the word ‘ghosts.’ “Pardon me? Ghosts?”

She nods. “Garden Lodge is very haunted. None of the spirits are bad, though. Just bothersome.”

Joe raises a brow. “What do they do?”

She sighs and closes the trunk. “Well, six of the eight of them are cats, so they knock things off of shelves and meow at random times. Sometimes you can actually see them running across the hall.”

Rami purses his lips. “I can only guess that the other two ghosts are your fathers.”

She nods and smiles. “Yeah. They are. Sometimes they can be a bit overbearing, but they’ll leave me be when I ask them to.”

The boys look nervous. Lily Anne scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Don’t worry. We can sage the entire place and nothing will bother you. And if something does, tell them to go away and they will.”

They still look scared.

“If I order Nando’s will it calm you all down?” She tries to calm them with basically a bribe in the name of keeping possible friends.

Ben and Gwil nod and Joe and Rami look confused.

“I’ve never had Nando’s,” Rami comments.

“Yeah, me neither,” Joe adds.

“Mate,” Ben says in disbelief before shaking his head. “No. We’re going to order for you then because Nando’s is the best and there’s only one correct order,” Ben explains.

“Of course! The chicken burger,” Lily Anne adds on, expecting Ben to agree with her.

“What? No, it’s the chicken wrap, hands down,” Ben retorts, insulted at the notion that she thinks the chicken burger is better than the chicken wrap.

“Are you insane, mate? It’s the bloody chicken burger. The chicken wrap is good, but it isn’t the best. Gwil, you like Nando’s as well. What do you think?” Lily turns to Gwilym, who backs up slightly under both their stares.

“You know me better,” Ben argues.

“I’m correct, he’s wrong,” Lily retorts. “Gwilym Lee, in the pursuit of truth, I demand that you agree with me.”

“I’ve been working with you for six weeks, mate.” Ben looks up at Gwilym, basically pleading him at this point. “We’re practically brothers at this point.”

Gwil sighs and raises his hands in surrender, sympathetically looking at Ben. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I really am. I love you, but it’s got to be the chicken burger. Lily Anne is right.”

Ben turns away from Gwil, shaking his head as Lily Anne grins.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” Lily Anne jumps up to high five Gwil’s hand before looking over at Ben. “I’m sure you’re correct about many other things, but the best food at Nando’s is not one of them. Now let’s go before I starve.”

Everyone heads towards their respective cars, Gwil moving to his own with Lucy, Rami, Aaron, and Allen. The Rolls Royce is only big enough for three people when the overnight bags are added in, since the trunk is too small for four duffel bags. Thus, she can only take two other people: Ben and Joe.

Lily Anne is about to get into her car when she sees that Ben still hasn’t moved. She sighs and walks over, crossing her arms.

“We don’t have all day, darling. Let’s get to the car, okay?” She tries to reason with him, placing a hand on his arm.

“I’m still insulted. All this time, I’ve always thought the chicken wrap was better,” he says, looking down at her with genuine confusion. “What else am I wrong about?”

She takes his hand and holds it, looking up at him. “You’re very cute when you’re upset, but we can’t go down that path, Ben. It only leads to more questions, and we don’t need those right now.”

He’s so cute. Oh lord, he’s the most adorable and simultaneously the hottest man she’s ever met. A true specimen. A one of a kind combination of a great personality, a rocking body, and the cutest puppy dog eyes she ever did see. She must have him.

He nods and makes the poutiest face in the world. “Can I be shotgun and play the music?”

She nods, squeezing his hand. “Of course, darling. Come along, now.”

Joe moves from shotgun to the backseat, and Ben plugs his phone into the AUX cord as Lily Anne starts up the car and begins to exit the parking lot, followed by Gwil.

“What music are we listening to, Ben?” Joe asks, taking a video on his phone.

Ben turns around, shrugging. He’s clearly still upset. “All Dead, All Dead is a good one.”

Lily Anne turns to face him in disgust, shaking her head. “Dear god, no! Just because your taste in Nando’s is trash doesn’t mean that you get to play one of the most depressing Queen songs in the world!”

Ben looks back at her and snaps, pointing a finger at her. “Don’t you dare say that! I have an exceptional taste in Nando’s!”

“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite side to go with your chicken wrap, Ben?” Lily Anne pulls out of the parking lot and onto the gravel road.

“The potato mash!” Ben shoots back, causing Lily Anne to lean her head back and groan.

“Bruv, no! We all know the correct answer is the Portuguese rice!” She wrings her hands in agitation.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ben looks out the window, shaking his head and dismissively stating, “I’m just going to put on March of the Black Queen.”

Lily softens as suddenly as Ben snapped, resting a hand over her heart. “I love that song! One of my favorites is White Queen, though.”

Ben smiles back at her, the whole Nando’s exchange forgotten for now. “That’s my favorite one! I could listen to it forever.”

Joe posts the video of the exchange to Instagram, with the caption, “How long until @lilyannemercury steals my man?”

TAGLIST: @andtheytoldustotellyouhello @plethora-of-things @borhap-socials @everybodyplaythegame @i-the-fangirl @deakydeakydeaky @shishterfackisback  @samanthadegaro @lv7867 @fatbottomedcurls @hystericallyqueen @haisimsim 

[asdfghjkl1x1]

Alpha/Alphasmate | Grace, Kozue, Régine, Luke

Once Grace ended updating everyone, she went to bed with her mom, which was quite strange to her. She was usually not that welcome, and made her wonder what was going though her mother's mind now that she met Marion. Whatever it was, it seemed to be good. Adelaide Morgan has been looking more relaxed than usual and even friendly.

Maybe Marion turned out to be the daughter she was expecting. She thought with a small smile and a tint of sadness, for briefly thinking that she as Grace wasn't what her mom wanted.

That day, breakfast was quite lively, between her, her mother, Luke, and the baby, were enough to sound as if 8 people were around.

The young man was talkative enough, telling Grace about everything, the wolves, the nursing, what he has learned with her mom.

The ginger on her part told Lucas how she and Marion worked, the journaling, the rules, and any other detail, while her mother observed both with interest.

Once they were over, they got up and started to pack to leave.

"Where are you taking them?"

"South, close to the coast, since is the only place we know for sure it's neither a touristic point, nor habited"

Adelaide placed her hand on Grace's chest "Be very careful, try to stay away from hunting grounds, and I mean the human kind of hunting. Take care of yourself and Marion, you know how to work with her now." The woman then turned to Luke "Lucas, take care of my daughter's body, please."

"Don't worry, ma'am. I will." Luke nodded.

The blonde woman pulled the young man for a hug "Take care of yourself as well. Use this time to think what you want to do, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am" Luke smiled at her. He didn't want to go, but it would be for the best that he makes this trip with Grace.... and Marion. Who knows what he might learn from it.

**

After Régine was informed on the latest status, she went downstairs to the basement, straight to the armoury, she knew that she would need weapons for this, the hunting kind, after all, she made a promise to both Grace and Marion... of shooting them in case they lost control.

As she held her rifle in her white shirt, pants, and boots, she couldn't help to sweat a bit at that thought, she wasn't ready to go through the same that happened in the tunnels. She wasn't ready to hunt any of them again.

After taking a deep breath, Régine, took everything else she could need and  took it to her car. About to leave, she turned to Paul "Eva will come. Please, protect her when I'm not around. I doubt anyone would come here, but you know we could never take anything for granted."

Her butler, and most trusted man after Jacques, nodded, before finally leaving all the way to Grace's town.

With the speed she was going, it only took her a few hours to get there. Just when she was about to ask where the Morgans lived, she saw Grace's unmistakable long red hair, and close to her was a boy she didn't know.

Grace saw the Frenchwoman coming towards her and found it somehow surreal and unexpected.

Régine ran after her and hugged her tight, as if she would slip out of her arms "You're okay, chérie?"

Grace smiled at her "I am, you don't have to hug me so tight"

"Sorry, you've made me and everyone worried"

"Who's your friend, Grace?" an older woman's voice was heard.

"Mother, this is Régine, the friend I told you about"

Both ladies gasped at each other making Grace laugh, "Régine, mother's married, so don't. And mom, she's in love with someone else."

Régine and Adelaide glared at her. The ginger laughed again.

**

Somewhere close to town, Kozue ran through the big forest, she tried to not go deep into it to avoid getting lost. She would give herself with the help of her phone and some people she would spot heading to any other road.

If she's in trouble, this would be the safest way to reach her.

After some more minutes of non-stop running, she could spot the small village, however, she didn't count she would find herself in front of a pack of wolves.

Both sides ready to start a fight, jumped towards each other. Both were equally swift which made things not easy.

A voice and some quick steps were heard to their direction, and the wolves stopped, turning to the direction of the sounds.

"Grace!" Kozue looked at her with joy, then looked at the wolves "Stand back, they'll attack you"

"They won't" said Grace in a calm tone while petting a close wolf.

A confused and amazed Kozue tried to approach Grace but received menacing growls from the wolves. Not even when the Welsh could approach the Asian, without the pack surrounding her to protect her.

I guess it has to be this way.

Grace jumped above the wolves and tackled Kozue to the ground, and pushed her down making her face the soil, then whispered to her ear "Listen to me, these guys are going to kill you, and you have three options: one, kill them all before they kill you; two, you kill me; three, you let me do what I have to do."

A nervous Kozue whispered back is "no one's going to die with the third option, right?"

"No, but you might hate me for this" she slid her hand down to Kozue's pants to unbutton them and reach her panties.

The Asian tried to stop her, but the Welsh made to catch her hand in time and pinned it to the ground, then whispered "I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not having sex with you here, don't worry."

Kozue seemed to relax after that, and stopped fighting Grace, the problem was just that: she was too relaxed. The ginger reached her clit and start to rub it, making the dark-haired lady to bite her lip, avoiding to make sounds, and hence there was another problem, quickly fixed by the Welsh who realized how much she was holding back.

The Asian felt a hard bite on her shoulder, to which she responded with a loud moan, followed by a ragged breathing, she felt ashamed, even more when after some more minutes of thinking where she was and what was happening, a warm fluid came out of her, making her body shiver.

"Stand up now" Grace said after fixing Kozue's pants.

The dark-haired woman threw a slap at the ginger which the latter made to avoid just in time. "What was that?! Are you crazy?"

"You don't need to shout, I can hear you clearly"

But still, Kozue was upset, "what I'm supposed to tell Freya?" walking from one side to the other, as the wolves sniffed both of them, then started to follow the Asian one side side to the other.

"I'll take care of that, but you should stop walking, you're going to make them dizzy" she smiled at her.

Kozue looked at her confused and still a bit angry, then turned to the wolves, who were behind her. Out of curiosity, she started to walk again, and she saw how the once angry animals were now calmly following her.

A fully white one, got close to her and the Asian caressed her head. "Can I name this one?"

"Of course"

Kozue smiled at the wolf, "You'll be Yuki" then giggled as the wolf kept sniffing at her.

Growls went on once more as Régine got into the area. Unlike Kozue, the Frenchwoman seemed to know what to do, for she threw the rifle away and fell onto her knees, sitting still.

The wolves went to her, sniffed her for a while before turning to Grace, then  to her, before one of them rested its head on her lap.

"Hmm, petite loup, do you think I'm a Louis XVI chair?" she stared at it for a while "I think I'll name you Louis", she stood up slowly as the group surrounding her seemed to be highly interested in her, following her steps next to Grace.

Luke, on the other hand, was the luckiest, for the wolves seemed to look at him as a playmate.

Finally, the last group addition came in, and no matter whether Grace, Régine, Kozue or Luke did anything, they didn't seem to be that open to accept William Morgan into the pack, or at least not to lead them to anything. The wolves even circled both Grace and Kozue to avoid him getting close to them. 

At the end, they settled to let him among them as some sort of prisoner or guest.

Grace looked at the long way ahead "Well, I guess we can go now."

[pubtheatres1]

CRITIC CHOICE OF BEST SHOWS 2018

Our most experienced reviewers choose their favourite shows of 2018 Heather Jeffery Top of my tree this year is the premiere of Margaret Cavendish’s THE UNNATURAL TRAGEDY at WHITE BEAR, 350 years after it was written. At a time when women were banned from the theatre profession, the Aristocratic Cavendish had much to say on behalf of women. It’s perfect #metoo material, so nothing changes! This cleverly written, and bitingly satirical play was superbly directed by Graham Watts. Bravo White Bear for championing older theatre makers and new writers. I would also like to mention JACK STUDIO THEATRE, who had such an excellent year with many productions gaining outstanding critical acclaim and some shows selling out their entire run. I was fortunate to see two shows this year, their in-house Christmas show CINDERELLA and a re-imagining of Bram Stoker’s DRACULA adapted by Ross McGregor for ARROWS AND TRAPS. Whenever I’m at the Jack I am always impressed with their technical capabilities and the number of creatives involved in the success of their shows. It really is the complete theatrical experience. Siân Rowland Without doubt my favourite Pub Theatre show this year was THE WHITE ROSE from ARROWS AND TRAPS at the always impressive JACK STUDIO, Brockley. The heart-breaking story of Sophie Scholl the young German resistance fighter who was executed at the hands of the Nazis in 1945 was written and directed by Ross McGregor and the story moved smoothly between Sophie’s interrogation and the story of how she became involved in the push back against creeping nazism. The script was deft and assured, acting superb and movement from Roman Berry was exquisite. A well-deserved five stars from me. The FINBROUGH has once again come up trumps with some brilliant revivals like CYRIL’S SUCCESS and JEANNIE as well as new and international writing like vibrant Welsh play Exodus by Rachael Boulton and A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE GYNECOLOGICLA ONGOLOGY UNIT at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center of New York by Halley Feiffer. As always, the ambition and can-do attitude of London’s wide array of pub theatres is always inspiring and embodies the real spirit of theatre. Gynaecological Mike Swain I have seen some excellent shows this year. Louise Coulthard's COCKAMAMY at THE HOPE was a moving portrayal of the battle with dementia while AN HONOURABLE MAN, by Michael McManus at WHITE BEAR THEATRE was an important and powerful political play for our time. But the stand out show of the year for me was GRACIE at the FINBOROUGH, written by Joan McLeod. Carla Langley delivers a one-woman tour-de-force, as Gracie, a young girl living in a polygamous religious community on the Canadian border. With nothing but a staging block for support, Langley has the audience hanging on her every word in this fascinating and compellingly human drama. David Weir Three (and a half) shows stood out for me this year, with no particular linking theme or style, just strong stories beautifully told in ways that made me think about them for weeks after the shows. The year ended on a high-quality note with NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT at UPSTAIRS AT THE GATEHOUSE in Highgate, a perfectly realised and nicely disguised modern mash-up of some of George and Ira Gershwin’s greatest hits in a PG Wodehouse/Guy Bolton-inspired story of bootleggers, fake butlers and love eventually requited. Also hitting the right note, was the joyful musical of the 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE at the DRAYTON ARMS in Kensington, a tale of competitive, insecure schoolkids, from which I’d defy anyone to walk out at the end without a grin plastered all over their face. CRUMPLE ZONE at the KING’S HEAD in Islington brought pathos, laughter and real depth in a story about the labours and losses of love, which happened to be largely about gay men in an unfashionable part of New York City but achieved universality. And, sneakily, I’ll add one half of a not-entirely successful double bill at THE HOPE, also in Islington – EMPTY BEDS saw three sisters travel to the bedside of their sick brother and was the single most emotionally intense and fully achieved piece of work I saw on the fringe in 2018, beautifully written with real knowledge of how much three people who love each other can fray each other’s nerves and acted with remarkable conviction. Andy Curtis The best play I saw in 2018 was at the beginning of the year. The revival of Steven Berkoff’s EAST by ATTICIST Productions, at the KING’S HEAD THEATRE left a strong impression on me. Directed by Jessica Lazar, this battering ram of a play was astonishing in its verbal dexterity and physicality. A superb cast gave their all – the only option with a Berkoff script – and the production long stayed in the memory. Lazar was excellent at bringing out the contemporary resonances whilst staying faithful to the script. She repeated the trick with a revival of Mart Crowley’s FOR REASONS THAT REMAIN UNCLEAR later in the year, and will be back at the King’s Head directing a revival of David Grieg’s OUTLYING ISLANDS in the new year. Annie Power MEDICINE at The HOPE Theatre & WHO PUT BELLA IN THE WYCH ELM? at The OLD RED LION Much like Meryl Streep’s dilemma in ‘Sophie’s Choice’, I couldn’t decide between these two shows. Both were exceptional, gut-wrenching and memorable. All the elements were aligned perfectly: incisive and tautly written; beautifully acted and imaginatively staged. At frequent intervals I still mention WHO PUT BELLA IN THE WYCH ELM? in conversation, so powerful and chilling was its impact. While the rawness of emotion and biting humour of MEDICINE has led me to dwell on it many times. So, don’t make me choose, I can’t do it. Richard Braine Goodness, it’s been terribly hard choosing the best of 2018. The standard within London Pub Theatres has been incredibly high. Special mention should go to the FINBOROUGH’s remarkable revival of Irwin Shaw’s BURY THE DEAD. The director Rafaella Marcus gave us an urgent and impassioned production that will live long in the memory. But it is to two pieces, presented at the same venue, the BROCKLEY JACK, that most of the plaudits must go. Firstly, Ross McGregor’s remarkable staging of DRACULA by Bram Stoker. Some would regard yet another production of Dracula ‘as overkill’ (sic). Yet McGregor brought enormous vitality to the piece as well as humour and great insight. All round it was a pretty impressive piece of work. McGregor is a young man destined for a stellar career in the theatre. And secondly to the current Artistic director of the Brockley Jack, Kate Bannister, and her production of KES. This was simply a joy. Everything about the piece had been given enormous weight and sensitivity. The stagecraft, acting and production values were second to none. Amongst many wonderful things she gave us two actors who were able to conjure up an ‘imaginary’ bird that was totally convincing. The night I was in a young boy in front of me shouted at one of the actors: ‘Don’t kill Kes. Please don’t kill him. What’s he done to you?’ That to me is what great theatre should all be about.

[vegannightschool]

Vegan on a Farm

by Ben Thorne

"Ben, why are you here?"

Good question Farmer Dan. Why was I there? In the middle of Welsh farming country, surrounded by animals being raised for their bodies, for what they produce. I was in the belly of the beast, my worst nightmare, deep inside enemy lines. But the truth was I wanted to be there. I was asked if I'd like to accompany thirty eleven year old students on a week long school trip to a 'Farms for City Children'. I said yes. As a teacher I am passionate about education, as a vegan teacher I see true value in educating others on the realities of the animal agriculture industry. The closer someone gets to the truth, the easier it is to make clear choices. That's how I changed. Reading and educating myself empowered me to become vegan.

So what was my plan? Sneak out the dorms in the middle of the night with a balaclava, break the oppressive chains, open the gates and lead the great animal revolution? Unfortunately not. I don't think I would have got very far. No, my plan was to educate; be the voice on the other side, be an example of a healthy, positive vegan who showed love for animals and provide the point of view I wish I had when I was at school. My students knew I was vegan, so all I had to do was be there to answer any questions they came up with.

"Sir, is that vegan?" It sure is "Is bread vegan?" Yep "Can I try some of your soy milk, sir?" Of course

"Are you sad that the pig will be dead soon?" I am, are you? "Yeah. If it has to happen, I suppose it's okay" Does it have to happen? "No" Back to Farmer Dan and his lovely welsh twang. He was a warm and interesting ex-teacher, enthusiastic about education and anthropology. We had both been greatly affected by Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari (it tipped me to the vegan conclusion). Dan, and the farm staff, knew I was vegan before I got there. They looked after me well with delicious veganised food and showed me respect, which I reciprocated. Dan had sympathy with what veganism stood for (maybe because of Sapiens). While milking a goat in front of 10 kids, he explained the contradiction of being vegetarian; explaining that if you're vegetarian because of how animals are used and killed, then you should be vegan because the dairy industry is just as abusive. That message resonated with the kids. Me and Dan were allies in a strange way, even though he was still doing acts I was completely against, we had an understanding - not enough to fool around on the hay bails, but we had interesting conversations. The truth is we are creatures of our surroundings. Dan's world is farming, my world is suburbia. He was attached to a traditional way of living on a farm. I was attached to my dog and going for walks in the woods. This is not to excuse the actions of farming, it is just to highlight the conditioning we individuals find ourselves in - and how our choices are imprisoned by this.

During my time feeding goats, shovelling poop and putting the chickens to bed I bumped in to a number of farm contradictions. While chatting about sustainability, Dan admitted farms should turn more to plant based farming, but emphasised the role of sheep as conservationists; keeping the coastline in beautiful condition. What were these fluff balls conserving the coastline against? Nature? Beautiful, wild nature? Unfortunately sheep are devastating to the UK's land. Their extensive grazing prevents natural habitats to grow, leading to higher chances of flooding and lack of biodiversity. They originate from arid Asian lands, where grass is dry and limited. This leads to the abusive manipulation of lambs. Farmer Owen showed the kids how the orphan lambs are castrated and their tails docked; by an elastic band around both until they rot and fall off. "But don't worry" Farmer Owen said "They don't feel it". Their tails are docked because they have diarrhoea due to the rich British grass, a richness sheep are biologically unable to metabolise fully and end up squirting it out with infection luring poop. 

Farmer Owen was friendly and chatty, his whole working life depended on the success of the sheep he rears and send to slaughter. He was quick to defend the practice of sheep farming stating "There would be none of these animals around if they weren't farmed" like they were native to this isle (they ain't, they're Asian). He also asked if I get enough zinc and magnesium as a vegan. I said it was easier than I thought it was going to be. He quickly followed up by showing me the cow milk mix he feeds the lambs, heavily supplemented with zinc and magnesium! Farmer Owen had four calves in the barn with the lonely lambs. As you approached them they would open their mouths ready to feed. One boy took a liking to them, standing in the pen while the beautiful babies sucked his fingers. I couldn't help ask Farmer Owen where their mothers were. "Another farmer's herd". I also couldn't resist "How long will they live for?". "Lambs, four more months. Calves, two years." The kids stood there wide-eyed, mouths slightly ajar; when they start their next year at school, the lamb they're holding will be sliced up on a shelf, in a Waitrose somewhere. While putting the sassy chickens to bed Farmer Les warned a kid to be careful with the eggs they're carrying. If they dropped one and a chicken ate it, it would have to be killed (the chicken not the child). Why? If a chicken realises it can eat a broken egg, it will eat eggs that have been sitting there for a while. So no eggs for humans! And we can't have that! 

I had so many positive conversations with the kids that week. They got my position, they agreed with it mostly. The main contention being that they like the taste of animal flesh too much, a point they understood wasn't a much to stand on. Many of the children had tried vegan food, like Gregg's Vegan Sausage Roll and non-dairy Ben & Jerry's. While having dinner on the farm, one girl said that before the trip she told her dad she wanted to be vegan. He threatened to not make her separate food and she'd have to pick the animal flesh out of the food made. This 'dietism' was frustrating. Is this a form of emotional abuse? If a child under the care of an adult asks for permission to stop something because it has a negative effect on their mental (and possibly physical) well being, and it is refused? By the end of the week at least three of the kids made a commitment to trying vegan. I truly believe that is three more than if I hadn't went on this trip. Unfortunately social conditioning reared its ugly face on the day of the 8 hour coach journey back, with most kids going through their service stop McDonald's order. Thankfully where we stopped only had a Subway and Greggs. I took the opportunity to show off the options and show them the joy of eating well while living in line the values most of us share.

[stormbear]

A Guide To Getting An A&P

My work experience prior to Baker’s

My father had a unique way to get me to learn about cars. He wouldn’t let me get my driver’s license until I learned how to work on cars. And what better way to achieve that than buy a Triumph TR7 that didn’t run. I remember the day it was TOWED to the house. There was to be no driving in my future until that car was fully repaired. Six months later, after a teardown of the engine to replace the head gasket, replacement of the transmission, the rear end, and the drive shaft. Keeping the Zenith Stromberg updraft crabs synced was an ongoing nightmare and DO NOT get me started on Lucas electrical system, which must have been conceived during a Welsh Demon Summoning ritual that went awry.

At the time all of that turmoil was going on, I was working for the local FBO, getting all of my civil time in for when I go get my A&P. At the same time I earned a 2 year degree in electronics and that helped greatly when it came to take the writtens, oral and practical.

But.... life happened. Those halcyon days of working on airplanes ended 25 years ago. I had my time in but I had forgotten a lot of what I had learned via on-the-job training.

When 2018 rolled around, I wanted to go back and finally get my A&P. I saw two ads for A&P prep schools in Trade-A-Plane. I always grab a copy of TAP whenever I can and one ad was always there; Baker’s School Of Aeronautics. I cut it out and saved it. I remember seeing this ad for YEARS in TAP. When I started asking around, Baker’s kept getting highly recommended, especially by a very good friend of mine that got his A&P from there. For me, his recommendation and the ARMY of other graduates that swear by Baker’s, my decision was finalized - Baker’s it is!

My Baker’s Prep

Since it was such a long time since I have wrenched on a certified aircraft, I went whole hog on training materials. I used the King Schools video course which was excellent for me because it actually shows what the questions are pertaining to visually. I get a lot out of visual presentation.

I also used the test prep apps from Dauntless Aviation. The flash card feature is excellent. The apps have excellent descriptions for those of use that need that visual of “how it works.”

For the King Schools video, I didn’t bother with the sample tests, I only watched the videos. Same with the apps, I only used the flash card feature. As the instructors at Baker’s will tell you, ONLY consume the correct answers. Recognize the correct answers and ignore the wrong ones.

List Of Things Not To Do Before You Arrive At Baker’s

Don’t take sample tests or random tests.

Don’t use the time before Baker’s to slack off - you study.

Don’t think this will be easy, it won’t be.

List Of Things Not To Do After You Arrive At Baker’s

Don’t go to Nashville - you study.

Don’t take weekends off - you study.

Don’t fart around after classes - you study.

The staff is there to help you succeed. They are a great bunch of people who are actually dedicated to getting you an A&P certification (don’t call it a license ffs). Don’t fear the DME’s they are very helpful and are not there to make you fail. 

Study Groups

Once you are into the oral and practical portion of the course, have your ass in a study group every night. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. The act of asking each other questions is VITAL to succeeding with your orals. Nothing, no other study method can replace it. If you want to be the loner and study on your own, make sure you have the time off of work and the cash to stay a few extra weeks in Lebanon.

Money

No matter what you spend getting your certs, it will still be waaaay cheaper than a semester of college. That said, there are loads of ways to lower your costs before you get to Lebanon and while you are there.

Some hotels are more expensive than others. I stayed in both the Hampton Inn and the Holiday Inn Express and they both have their pros and cons. I can only speak about the other ones via word-of-mouth from my fellow students.

Hampton Inn

Pros

Nice accommodations

Big lobby to host study groups

Good breakfast

Free snack pack during the week (bottle of tea, granola bar, coffee cake and a piece of fruit.

Literally next door to the school so you might be able to do away with having a car.

Cons

It is the most expensive choice of the school’s recommended hotels.

Holiday Inn Express

Pros

Nice accommodations

Big lobby to host study groups

GREAT breakfast options - it has a CINNABON bar! 

It is very affordable

Cons

You will probably need to rent a car or budget for a lot of Uber rides.

Love Your Walmart

It will cost you a lot if you eat out for every meal. Go to Walmart and buy food that is easy to prepare with just a small refrigerator and microwave. One of my fellow students ate baloney sandwiches for his entire time there.

Aviation Museums

If you are fortunate to live near an aviation museum, do yourself a favor and get a season pass. I went damn near every week for three months to learn all I could about turbine engines. I took hundreds of reference photos and studied them for hours when I would get home. I never worked on one and had a lot to learn to get through the powerplant written test as well as the oral and practical.

My Tips

If you don’t have any knowledge about electricity or electronics, I suggest getting this, an electronic education kit (Amazon Link). It has 130 different experiments that will teach you everything you will need to know about the fundamentals that you will face on the writtens, the orals and the practicals. For only $35, it is a great deal.

If you are a turbine guy and are unfamiliar with the archaic technology called a carburetor, consider this Army educational film on YouTube. Here are some other helpful videos...

FADEC

Carbon Pile Voltage Regulator

Vibrating Point Voltage Regulator

Welding 101

Above and beyond all of the above, there was one thing that made me successful and that was flash cards. Not the flash cards from a software app, but actual notecards.

When I got the Oral and Practical book from Baker’s, I took each question, copied it by hand on the front of a notecard and put the answer in my own words on the back. I did this for most of the book for the questions I didn’t know like the back of my hand. When I wasn’t in group, I was going through this stack of cards, read each card and tried to answer. Once I did, I flipped it over to see if I got it or not. I would then place the card in a pile and move on to the card.

I did this over and over and over. Once I knew the card by heart, I would place it in a different pile and then continue on with the pile that I still didn’t know. I repeated this until I was left with no cards in my hands. I then repeated this up until the day I took my orals.

DO NOT QUIT

Of my class, only three zipped through everything on the first try. Most failed something; a written, part of the oral or the practical - me included. The powerplant written was a particular struggle due to my unfamiliarity of turbine engines.

Doing the prep work that I have suggested BEFORE you get to Baker’s will help you find success. If you don’t do the prep work and don’t put in the insane hours required to succeed, you can’t blame Baker’s. You have to do your job before they can do their’s.

Conclusion

Baker’s has a damn fine program to get you your certificate - best in the nation. Listen to your instructors. Work your ass off and you will get there.

[tkmedia]

Jaz Joyce: 'I needed to show that I want to do this full time, but I can't'

5:39am, 30 September 2021 It shouldn’t have to take an international player calling out their own union for women’s rugby to be taken seriously, but in the case of Jasmine Joyce, it took exactly that.ADVERTISEMENTAfter a sensational performance at the HSBC World Rugby Sevens Series, Joyce took to social media to express concerns for her future in the sport. From December, the star will no longer be a full-time athlete, as Team GB is set to be replaced with a squad of England players under the RFU’s newly reinstated full-time sevens programme.For the Welsh international, this means returning to balancing a full-time career in teacher training, with rugby very much being put to the side-lines.Speaking exclusively to RugbyPass, Joyce said: “I am looking forward to starting a different career, but in an ideal situation I would go down that route in 5 years’ time when I am done with rugby. I didn’t think I would be doing it so soon.”Just days after the double Olympian’s social media post went viral, the WRU issued a statement which promised reform in the women’s game. Chairman of the WRU, Rob Butcher, acknowledged mistakes had been made in the management of the women’s game. Since that point, the WRU has appointed two interim coaches to lead the team into the autumn series but remains unclear who the team’s permanent head coach will be.ADVERTISEMENTLooking to the sevens set up in Wales, currently the Welsh Women’s Seven’s team are competing in Rugby Europe Sevens, which is effectively the league below the World Rugby Sevens Series. On this, Joyce said: “I have come to terms with the fact that in my career Wales as a nation will not be a part of the World Series. We aren’t good enough yet, and we don’t have the platform to build on that.”It’s mind-blowing that a player as talented as Jasmine Joyce will not be given a platform to showcase her skillset on the world stage because her nation cannot provide adequate infrastructure to support her. The fact that she was awarded Player of the Final two weeks in a row, speaks volumes to her talent. However, unless the England 7s programme is reformed to include players from Team GB, Joyce will not get the opportunity to play on the World Seven’s Series circuit.UNSTOPPABLE!@joyce_jaz#HSBC7s pic.twitter.com/XWbfZzoOt8— World Rugby Sevens (@WorldRugby7s) September 27, 2021Jaz Joyce is widely considered to be the poster girl for rugby sevens, with some going as far to say she could be the face of women’s rugby. She used her platform as a rising star in a smart way, to highlight issues which run far deeper than affecting just her future.ADVERTISEMENTConversation has recently focused on the lack of performance pathways available to young girls in Wales. Earlier this year 123 former Welsh representatives came together with an open letter to the WRU, urging the body to provide performance pathways across the region.Since that time, and after receiving no firm solutions, the open letter was turned into an online petition. Multiple people in the rugby world have been asking questions about the future of women’s rugby in Wales, but no official response has come, until now.Speaking on the future, and the call to action made by Jaz Joyce, Former Welsh International Philippa Tuttiett said: “At the moment I don’t think fully professionalizing the Welsh women’s sevens squad would be the quick fix everyone wants. Semi-professionalism could be an option, but we need a player base; we need lots of women and girls competing for places in teams to get the best out of them.”She continued to say: “We have the players in Wales, we just need to provide more of a supportive environment and that starts with player pathways. It’s scary if you think about the number of girls who are losing out on the opportunity to step up and develop, because of a lack of support.”It is obvious that women’s rugby in Wales has been neglected. As a result, in recent months we have seen a power shift, players like Joyce are slowly starting to realise they hold a fair amount of sway over unions. You only have to look at the likes of England’s Poppy Cleall and her Twitter page to realise that player advocacy for the women’s game is on the rise.When asked about the reasoning behind her social media post, Joyce said: “I wanted to be honest with how I was feeling on social media. From coming off the back of two brilliant weekends where I was literally living my dream, I needed to show that I want to do this full time, but I can’t.”She continued to say: “I want people to know that this isn’t what I do full time, I don’t think fans understand what we have to do in day-to-day life to actually enable us to play rugby. People need to be aware of the wider picture.”This isn’t just about Jasmine’s future, it’s about the players who come after her. It’s about the young girls in Wales who look up to the likes of Jasmine Joyce and want to pursue rugby as a full-time career when they are older. The recent bout of silence from the WRU has been deafening. It’s almost as if they assume that if they ignore the various calls for change among the women’s rugby community, those voices will eventually grow tired of campaigning and stop talking.It’s frustrating that it takes a high-profile player like Joyce to speak out about the game for issues to even be recognised in the first place. Jasmine Joyce has obviously ruffled a few feathers at the WRU, simply by highlighting her individual situation. However, if and when solutions do eventually come, I hope that they are bigger than just one person. Whilst her social media posts have undoubtably shined light on a wide range of issues, the problems run far deeper than just affecting one international player.

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