#and one of those things was indeed romance and dating and in my teen years sex too
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the-acid-pear · 1 year ago
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It's not easy to be a guy with a weird gender and complicated relationships with its sexuality and romantic attraction and fat and autistic and traumatized to the bone but someone has to do it
#luly talks#i tried to rb a post but i hit post limit and i lost it LMAO but i find it interesting how my things overlap#bc as some of you might know i grew up as a fat little girl and you know the world fucking hates us#and on top of that autistic although i had the most neurodivergent ppl along w me#i still wasn't like my other friends tho i always was slightly more lonely slightly more disconnected#they were in on things i didn't seem to be in the social spectrum and i never understood that#and one of those things was indeed romance and dating and in my teen years sex too#like by default i was seen as undesirable. just by virtue of being fat and also kinda androgynous#and the autism just. kept me far away from any social circle or interaction that'd bring me closer to an encounter of any kind#and i always yearned lord knows i still dream of Ana but the thing is i...#i just. love romance in paper#i love the idea of romance. i love the yearning i love the feeling#i know the feeling bc i know euphoria! i know the euphoria that comes from love.#but to me that's a very short lived feeling specially when engaging directly with it#i think its part of a matter of being taught what romantic attraction is and how they paint it#it's similar to how you are taught X and Y is hot even before you understand why#like i remember my mother always joking w me about male mannequins' cocks and like sure i played along#bc i thought it was funny and if the adult i seeked approval from did it then i absolutely should too#but she also scolded me once (and btw i was like 15) bc idk i was acting. like a perv?#and it's so bizarre in retrospective bc it might have been before the age of 15 bc i really didn't care about such matters then#I've always been amaizing at masking i love understanding people and why they do what they do and replicating them#so me being positive to sex and romance is to be expected#but at the same time its weird bc i cannot bring myself to hating it but i also just. dont fucking feel it#but at least w sex comes the horror of having a body too like there's a lot man#but my point is that its funny how despite being seen as undesirable for society i was unaffected bc i was oblivious to it
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americasmarauders · 4 years ago
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I Had a Dream--Jason ToddxReader.
Summary: She dreamed about him once. And then he appeared in front of her and she just couldn’t believe it. 
words: 9,756
author’s note: so, here it is. the last of this year. this one is special. it’s based on a dream i had with a guy I went to middle school with. I mentioned it on the group chat and @batarella​ said this sounds like a fic, write it. and so I did. It’s immensely personal. Basically reader is me, the friends I mention are my actual friends and the coversations with the therapist are vaguely based on conversations I had with my own therapist (specially the first one). I hope y’all like it. I had a blast writing it. Special thanks to my best friend Julia and @offendedfishnoises​ for proofreading it. Also thanks to every one in the group chat who cheared me on and made me finish this monster. 
don’t forget to check out my jason playlist here. also. please reblog so more people can see the fic :)
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“I just haven’t had the opportunity to be in love, I guess,” she explained, her psychologist writing stuff she had said down. 
          “Is that so?” the therapist lifted her eyes, her eyebrows shot up in confusion. 
          “Yeah,” she shrugged. 
          “‘Cause the way I see it is you’ve never allowed yourself to fall in love,” the therapist commented. 
          She felt heat coming to her cheeks and tears rise in her eyes. “No, no, that’s not like that,” she whispered, refusing to admit that her psychologist was right. 
          The therapist let out a small sigh. “Have you had crushes when you were a kid?”
          She shook her head. “The boys weren’t that nice and…” she drifted off, thinking of a couple of crushes she might have developed when she was a young teen. “No boys were interested in me.”
          “I find that hard to believe, Y/N,” the therapist said. “Let’s think of it this way: were there any boys who picked on you?”
          She snorted. “Plenty,” she responded. “I wasn’t exactly popular in middle school,” she shrugged. 
          “Yes, yes, I remember,” the psychologist said. 
          “There was one boy that used to run around recess calling me a weird nickname he had for me: peanut.”
          “That’s not weird,” the therapist pondered. 
          “It is when you’re 13 and you love eating packed peanuts in recess,” she countered. 
          “Well, this boy did you like him?” the therapist asked. 
            “Yeah, he was nice,” she omitted that she had a crush on him in ninth grade before she left the school and never saw him again. “He was one of the few boys that talked to me without wanting me to help him with his homework or anything.
            “I remember one day in eight grade he stopped to talk to me before class but I was kinda rude to him and he never really talked to me again,” she shrugged. 
            “Why?” the psychologist quizzed.
            “I thought he wanted something out of me,” she sniffed, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. “They all wanted something out of me. It was safe to assume, I guess.”
            “You scared the boy away, Y/N,” the therapist said kindly. “I think that boy liked you,” she finished. 
            “No, no, Todd, he--” she shook her head negatively, “he was kinda popular, I was a nobody. He didn’t like me.”
            “He liked you, Y/N.”
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That conversation stayed in her head for days. The words of her therapist echoing in her head. You scared the boy away. The truth was: she had scared the boy away. It was heartbreaking to think that she could have had what she wanted, a romance, someone to hold and to be held by. Instead she was alone, an adult who had never even dated anyone for that matter. 
          It wasn’t just that boy from middle school. It was every boy that ever tried getting too close to her. It would be comical if it wasn’t so tragic. A romantic at heart, completely alone. Thank god she had her friends. 
          She hadn’t thought about Jason Todd in years. He hadn’t so much as graced her thoughts since she last saw him in ninth grade. Then she dreamt of him. And things started to change. 
          In her dreams she was his girlfriend. He was loving, he would caress her delicately, look into her eyes lovingly as if he was seeing the whole world in her eyes. He would kiss her tenderly, she could feel his lips when she woke up. 
          He had gotten so big in her dreams, even more handsome than he was when he was 15. Jason was a lanky and tiny kid, but somehow her brain imagined him tall--very tall--and very muscular. His eyes were green, and not the blue she remembered. He looked beautiful and waking up after the dream, she could feel her heart race. 
          After she dreamed about him the first time, she dismissed it. It was her brain making weird connections, it made sense: she had talked about her pseudo-love life and about him that week. But after the second dream she knew there was something wrong. 
          She decided to look him up on the internet. What appeared wasn’t something she liked. 
          News coverage about how he had died mysteriously. ‘Adopted son of Bruce Wayne dies at age 16.’ She couldn’t help but tear up a bit on those headlines. The most recent ones though reported him being wrongfully declared dead and how he was estranged from his family. It even showed a couple of pictures of him and she was surprised to see her dreams were not very far off.
          Other than a couple of tabloid headlines, there was no trace of this guy on the internet. He was almost a ghost story, and  she felt her heart beating faster in anxiety. She couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pity for him. 
          She otherwise forgot about him--other than the occasional thought about what if that would cross her mind. That is, until she literally stumbled into him. 
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A part time job to help with the finances, that’s what working in the bookshop was supposed to be. It would help pay tuition and her insurance. Her parents had said that she didn’t need to do it, they could pay and it wouldn’t even make a dent in their bank account. But it wasn’t for them, it was for herself, a sense of achievement. 
          It was supposed to be just that. No meet cutes, no falling in love in a bookshop, just boring old work. Work for half of the afternoon, close up, get her salary and move on with her life. 
          The shop was quiet that day. No one had come in to buy or even browse anything. It didn’t really bother her. She occupied herself with other things: homework, studying, drawing, texting her friends, the list was endless. She was so engrossed in her drawing, she didn’t even hear the bell ringing and the door opening. 
          She heard someone clear their throat and she looked up from her drawing to meet their eyes. She gaped a bit as she met his gaze, intense blue eyes meeting hers. She closed her mouth quickly, trying to cover the fact that she was clearly staring at him. The gods must be really enjoying themselves playing with her life like that. Of course, she thought, of course that he would fucking appear in her life like that: out of nowhere. The one day she had a calm evening and Jason Todd, the guy who was haunting her dreams and thoughts like a ghost, appears. 
          “May I help you?” she asked, professionally, ignoring her racing heart and the anxiety increasing in the pit of her stomach. 
          “Yes,” he replied. “I’m lookin’ for the complete H.P. Lovecraft collection. I stopped by the other day and a guy separated it for me,” he explained. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, and she hoped that he hadn’t recognized her. 
          “Oh,” she said. “Wait a moment, I’ll check if it’s in the back.”
          She walked controlled, to mask the fact that she wanted to run out of that place as fast as she could. 
          She closed the inventory door and leaned her back against it. She breathed heavily, trying to calm herself. It was only a guy, she had talked to plenty of guys before. She calmed herself down, steadying her breathing. 
          She glanced around the shelves looking for his book. The sooner she ended this the better. She could move on with her life without his face haunting her. She found the book (almost like a brick). She got it and took a deep breath before stepping out of the inventory and calmly walking to the front desk. 
          He stood there calmly , his eyes glancing around the shop. He had picked another book to buy, something significantly smaller than Lovecraft's collection.  She itched to see what  it was, before catching herself and stopping her curiosity. She couldn't get attached, even if just a little bit. 
          "Here," she said, resting the book on the counter. She smiled at him kindly, her hand open for the book resting in his hands. He handed it to her, confusion plastered on his face.
          "It's 60 dollars," she stated, calmly and controlled. 
          He handed her the money. She accepted it and packed his books neatly. He clocked her moves as she did so, she felt a bit uncomfortable under his gaze. 
          "I'm sorry, do I know you?" He asked. "I feel like I know you."
          She gulped imperceptibly. So he had recognized her. Goddammit. "I don't think so," she replied, hesitant on whether or not he would see right through her lie. 
          He hummed. His eyes then  shifted down to her name tag, and she knew he had put the pieces together. "Did we go to school together?" He insisted. 
          She smiled tightly. "I don't know, probably," she shrugged. "I went to a pretty big school, there were a lot of people there," a lie. Gotham Academy was big, but it was nowhere near as big as she made it sound. It was the kind of school where you knew everyone, even if you had never talked to them. 
          He smiled at her coyly, sensing her awkwardness. Maybe it was just that that made him finally remember her, or maybe not. Either way she did not like that he indeed recognized her fully. "I remember you," he trailed off. "We had English together," he stated. 
          She pretended to search her memory for him. She couldn't give away that just days before she had dreamed about him yet again. How pathetic, dreaming about a boy from middle school. "Oh yeah," she dragged. "Jason, right?"
          "That's me," he whispered. "I thought you had moved."
          She smiled, it was cute that he remembered enough of her to know that she didn't stay in Gotham for a couple of years. "I did move," she explained. "I came back for college."
          "Why?" He asked, confused by her statement. "Gotham is a shit city, you should've stayed elsewhere."
          She tried not to take offense to it. "It has its appeal," she shrugged. "Besides the science program in Gotham U is very good, it was the best move."
          Jason smirked. "Science huh?"
          "Yeah," she breathed out. She slid the package to him, a sign that she maybe was done talking. 
          Thank the gods his phone rang. She couldn't handle anymore of that. She averted  her attention once more to her drawing, his voice talking angrily on the phone only a background noise to her. "I gotta go," he said and her eyes went back to him. "It was good seeing you, Y/N."
          She tried not to notice how her heart picked up the pace at the sound of her name leaving his lips. "You too," she smiled shyly and he left the store, the bell ringing as he closed the door and her mind plagued by the image of him. 
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If she thought Jason Todd had plagued her mind and dreams before she had seen him at the bookshop, now he was downright living in her head rent free. She just couldn’t get him out of her mind. The dreams about him, the ones where she would be tenderly loved by him, were getting more frequent and more intense. When she woke up, she would still feel his arms around her and an emptiness would settle in her chest. 
          Why did it have to happen to her? She just wanted to go through life unnoticed, why did the gods have to pull this prank on her?
          She huffed as she closed the shop, the sky already dark enough to be considered dangerous to stay out. It was only a couple of blocks to her car, she could get through the walk unscathed, she had done it before. 
          But then again, it seemed that Fate had it out for her. 
          She could feel someone following her the moment she had left the shop. The looming presence of a threat made her hyper aware of everything, her heart beating out of her chest. She tried to think of ways to lose the guy--she assumed it was a guy, it usually was--but her mind came blank. She thought in passage if her friends would miss her, who would contact them if she were to die. She shook the thought quickly out of her head and hastened her pace. 
          But the guy gained on her, and as soon as she could blink, she felt his arm snake around her neck. She gasped for air desperately, clawing at his arm trying to take it off. It was then that she felt a cold metal press against her back. A gun. She felt the tears coming to her eyes. If the guy were to pull the trigger, the best case scenario was she wouldn’t be able to move her limbs anymore. The worst, well, who would tell her friends she had died in a robbery?
          “Give me your bag,” the guy--now confirmed for his gruff and raspy voice--whispered in her ear.
          “Please, take it,” she begged. “Don’t hurt me.”
          She heard the guy scoff as he pressed the gun further on her back. She whimpered. “We’ll see about that,” he said, his voice laced with malice.
          It was then she heard a loud bang coming from behind her. She thought the guy had pulled the trigger, and she was ready to feel the wetness of her blood sipping through her clothes. Instead, all she felt was a splash on her shoulder and his grip on her loosening considerably. The guy had fallen to the ground behind her, clutching his shoulder and screaming in pain. She turned around to see him and a pool of his own blood forming beneath him. She was paralyzed in fear of the sight.  
          “The police’re on their way,” a distorted voice sounded. She looked up and found a massive man, standing menacingly on top of the thieves body. His red helmet glinted in the moon’s glow. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly. 
          She breathed out. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I--I--,” she teared up again, “I would’ve died. You saved my life.”
          “It’s what I do,” he shrugged. “I’ll walk you.”
          “How about the…” she pointed towards the guy laying on the floor in pain.
          “If he wants to live to see another day, he’ll stay exactly where he is,” he said, his voice serious and threatening. 
          “Shouldn’t I give the police a statement?” she whispered. 
          She swore she heard a chuckle of amusement through the voice disruptor he had in his helmet. “I have a video to prove he was tryin’ to rob you, you don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna,” he explained softly. “So, wanna lead the way?”
          She looked down at her feet, nervous to look at him. She nodded and started to walk once again towards her car. He walked behind her respectfully, and she felt the difference between him and the robber. He wasn’t trying to get something out of her, and his large physique felt like there was a literal wall following her to her car. 
          It was a blink till she got to her car. Her hand rested on the door handle and she gave a deep breath, trying desperately to calm herself, trying to remember the breathing exercises her psychologist had taught her. She opened her mouth to say something to the Red Hood, her eyes searching for him next to her. 
          But he was gone. And what was left was just the memory of him in her mind. 
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“So how was your week?” her psychologist asked, sitting on her armchair, Y/N sitting cross-legged in front of her. 
          “Crazy,” she rolled her eyes in disbelief, her mouth quirking in a weird shape. “So much stuff happened.”
          “Oh do tell,” the psychologist urged her. 
          She sighed, thinking where to begin. “Well, you remember the boy I told you about?”
          “Yes, Jason wasn’t it?”
          “Yep,” she popped. “He showed up at the store the other day.”
          “You’re kidding.”
          “I wish I was, honestly,” she replied breathily. “I didn’t even realize he had come in.”
          “No way,” her therapist responded in disbelief. She seemed invested in the pranks the fates were pulling on her patient.
          “I was too invested in my drawing, mind you,” she smiled. “It’s been weeks since I’ve done a decent piece of scribble so I was excited.”
          “Yes, yes right,” her therapist acknowledged. “And how about Jason? Did you talk to him?”
          “Briefly,” she responded. “I was hoping he wouldn’t recognize me, but he did.” 
          “What did he say?” she quizzed, making notes on her paper. 
          “He asked if he knew me, which I denied at first,” her psychologist looked at her angrily and she shrugged. “Then he finally placed me and asked what I was doing in Gotham. I answered, said I was in college. He said I should’ve stayed elsewhere ‘cause Gotham apparently sucks.”
          “He isn’t wrong,” her therapist pondered. 
          “He isn’t but I like Gotham,” she shrugged once again. 
          “Did you get his number?” her therapist quizzed her. 
          “Nope,” she denied. “He left pretty quickly.”
          “Why don’t I believe that?” the psychologist smiled. 
          “It’s true!” she laughed. “He answered a phone call, got angry at something I didn’t really understand and left pretty quickly.”
          The therapist hummed. “You think you’ll see him again?”
          “I don’t know,” she sniffed. “He got pretty big books when he appeared, I think it’ll be a while before he needs another.”
          “You never know,” she conceded. “What if he does? Do you imagine what you would do?”
          “I mean,” she trailed off, “what I want to do is talk to him and maybe ask for his number,” she finished coyly. “What I will do is be very weird and awkward and scare him off.”
          “Y/N,” the therapist warned. “We’ve talked about this.”
          “I know, I know,” she waved off. “I won’t do it. I’ll try to be friendly.”
            “Good. What else happened this week?”
          “Almost died,” she swallowed, nervously, “quite literally, I’m afraid.”
          “What?”
          “Was leaving the store, it was pretty early in the night, I think. And a guy got me by the neck and pressed his gun to my spine,” she recounted quietly. “I thought I would die.”
          “But you didn’t,” her therapist comforted her. “What happened after?”
          “The Red Hood showed up,” she sniffed. “Shot the guy in the shoulder and then knocked him out.”
          “When did that happen?” her therapist’s voice was filled with worry.
          “2 days ago,” she replied quietly. 
          “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” the psychologist cooed. “Are you alright?”
          “I’m okay,” she nodded, her eyes filled with tears that did not dare to spill. “The Red Hood was very gentle, he walked me to my car and made sure I was safe.”
          “Uhum,” the therapist hummed, jotting down something. She always wondered what her therapist wrote down about her, but maybe it was for the best that she didn’t know what was written down. 
          “I did some research on him afterwards,” she diverted the subject out of her. “Turns out he’s very famous for protecting street kids.”
          “Is that so?” 
          “Yeah,” she nodded enthusiastically. “There’s a couple of stories going around social media of people who witnessed him, you know…” she trailed off. “He seems to look out for people in poorer neighborhoods. Like Crime Alley. He seems very active there,” she added.
          “I didn’t know that,” the psychologist said. 
          “Yeah, you’d get mistaken by the bat symbol on his chest, but there’s very few reports of him getting involved in Batman-esque adventures.”
          Her therapist laughed. “And what might those be?”
          “You know,” she shrugged. “Aliens, psycho-clowns, riddles, those kinds of stuff. Although there are a couple of people that said he did have a crazy huge fight with Black Mask once, there doesn’t seem to be any other. If there is, he sure made a good job hiding it.”
          “You seem very excited about this Red Hood,” the therapist noted. 
          “He was nice,” she shrugged once more. “And I’m thankful he does what he does. I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t,” she added quietly. “Literally.”
          “Well, then we got to make sure you live your best life after this second chance you got granted.”
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As soon as the words ‘what if you see him again’ left her therapist’s mouth, she knew she would see Jason Todd again. Because the Universe was out for her like that. It was only a matter of when. 
          Turns out ‘when’ was a week later after the first time she saw him. She concluded he was either a hoarder or a very fast reader. She hoped it would be the latter. 
          This time, she was paying attention. She was organizing the shelves calmly, and as odd as it seemed, that was the best part of her job. It eased her anxiety to know everything was where it was supposed to be.
          She jumped at the sound of the bell, her heart beating faster and her mind racing at the worst case scenarios. But it was just him. And she was entirely relieved that it was just Jason. She settled the book that was about to go on the shelf--‘there you go Little Women, back to where you belong’--and got out from behind her hiding spot. “Hey, Jason,” she said and his eyes found hers. 
          He opened a smile that knocked the air out of her. “Oh hey,” he breathed out. 
        She swallowed her nerves down. She would make her therapist proud, goddammit. “How can I help you?” she asked, opening a smile she hoped it was charming. 
        “I finished the books I bought the other day,” he said, his face a tad bit nervous. Did she make him nervous? “Do you have any recommendations?” he finished, his hands shoved in his pockets, shifting his weight slightly. 
        “It depends what you’re looking for,” she trailed off, returning to behind the shelves. Her fingers trailed lightly over the spine of the books she had just organized. She heard him walk behind her accompanying her to wherever she intended to go. “What are you looking for?” she turned around to see him, and saw him gulp nervously. 
        “Romance,” he blurted out. “How about a romance?”
        “Ummm,” she hummed, her eyes once more trailing over the spines of the books. “A love story or a real romantic type of book? You know with loads of self pity and drama. Or maybe just a very long and nice novel?”
        He laughed airly. “Surprise me,” he teased, and it seemed all his nerves were gone. 
        She smirked. “Okay then.” She pulled a book off the shelf. It wasn’t a big book, it couldn’t be longer than 300 pages. She gave it to him. “Epitaph of a Small Winner,” she said. “A romance, a realist one but nevertheless a romance.”
        He grabbed the book, looking tiny in his big hands. His fingers tracing the title delicately. “What is it about?”
        “A dead person narrating their life and reflecting upon it,” she shrugged. “A very interesting read indeed, but you’d have to do a bit of research. It’s set in 1880s Brazil.”
        “I’m okay with that,” he smiled looking at her. “Any more recs?”
        “Not for now,” she smirked. “How else am I going to have you come back if I give all my recommendations at once?”
        His smile faltered for a split second before taking permanent residence on his face. “Who’s to say I wouldn’t come back even if you did give me all your recommendations?”
        She was left speechless. She felt heat coming up to her cheeks and he looked somewhat proud he left her flustered like that. “Well then, do make sure you come back after you’ve finished.”
        “I will, Y/N.”
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Jason didn’t know why he went back to the bookshop. He truly didn’t. 
        He wasn’t expecting to see her working there. He wasn’t expecting to see her at all, actually. He barely even remembered her from his middle school days. He vaguely remembered finding her pretty and he knew she was very smart. Other than that, she was basically a stranger to him. Just like that version of himself was a stranger to him now. 
        It was a surprise to say the least. She had grown up marvelously, from what he remembered at least. She wore glasses now, and in his opinion it only made her prettier. His breath caught in his throat just remembering the sight of her that first time. His brothers caught up in his behavioral shift, and teased him endlessly. Jason stopped that rather quickly: it’s easy when you’re bigger and more intimidating than them. It also helps that they’re desperately trying to maintain the thin and fragile relationship they had. 
        Jason wanted to say he hadn’t rushed to finish those books to see her again, but he did. He wanted to say he hadn’t rushed to read her recommendation, but he did. He finished it in a day. He wished he had read it sooner. Somehow he felt like that sometimes, a dead man narrating his own story. At least he was strikingly different from the protagonist. At least he wasn’t an asshole. Not most times anyways. 
        He went back to the shop the next day, around closing time--he realized they were closing early and he wondered if it had anything to do with the incident Y/N was involved in. He was sure she would be there. Something told him that she would. He got in, as quietly as he could. The store was empty, after all it was a Thursday afternoon. The door made the usual bell sound behind him, and Y/N appeared behind the shelves, her face stony. 
        “I finished it,” he said with a smile.
        She smiled back at him, and his heart did a somersault. “That was fast, it is not an easy read.”
        “Well, it was a very good book,” he pointed. “It’s easier when the book’s good.”
        “What did you think of it?” she asked curiously.
        “It’s very complex,” he began. “You want to believe Brás but he’s just so….”
        “Insufferable?”
        “Exactly. And he’s a hypocrite too. Which just drives me fucking nuts,” he ran his hands through his hair. “The parallels you can make to the present, though, are just… very daunting,” he added. “It’s impressive the guy wrote this stuff in the nineteenth century and...” he trailed off.
        “Society hasn’t changed one bit since then,” she completed him, her eyes glinting. She was smiling pleasantly, and Jason found it confusing, after all they were talking about something entirely serious.  “So, you here for another rec?” She changed the subject.
        “If you have one, I’d like that,” he said sheepishly. 
        She smirked. “Let’s see,” she moved to behind the shelves once again, her eyes trailing the books expertely. “How about a nice little love story, huh?”
        He shrugged, his heart beating harder in his chest. “Sure, why not.”
        She smiled at him and took out a yellowish cover with a dagger drawn across it. The title was written in the middle of the cover in nice flowery letters. “It’s about a girl that has a special power. And she kinda is trained to be an assassin of sorts, and she is set to a quest with a prince that has the same gift as her. Kinda. But you get the gist.”
        “Yeah, I do,” he nodded, his fingers trailing slightly over the title. 
        “It’s an YA novel so be kind to it,” she warned. 
        “I’ll be.”
        They both made their way to the cash register. She was behind the counter when Jason’s phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and answered it without even looking at the caller. “Hello?” he said, trapping his phone between his shoulder and ear, to fish the money for the book out of his pocket.
        “Is this Mr. Todd?” the person--a woman--said.
           “Yes. Who’s speaking?” he asked. Jason could feel anxiety rising in his body and mind and he tried to push it down. Who the fuck was this person and, most importantly, how the fuck did she get his number?
            “I’m Principal Genoise-Beckham, from Gotham Academy,” she explained. What kind of name was Genoise-Beckham? “I’m calling because of your brother Damian. He got into a fight during the end of the school hours and you’re the next on his contacts list.”
            Jason sighed, a twinge of anger sounding through it. “So no one’s available?”
            “I’m afraid not, Mr.Todd.”
            Not even Alfred, and he knew that for a fact because Jason was the last on the contacts list. Bruce wouldn’t put him any higher, because Bruce doesn’t quite trust him. Not anymore. “I won’t have to sit through any meetings right?”
            “No, Mr. Wayne already arranged one,” the principal said, tiredly. 
            “Tell the kid I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” and then he hung up. 
            She looked at him quizzically, his book neatly packaged in parcel paper with a nice little bow on top of it. “Is everything okay?” she asked, concerned. 
            “My brother got into a fight at the Academy and now I have to pick him up,” he said grumpily. 
            “Oh,” her face fell, and Jason felt guilty. “I hope your brother’s okay.”
            “The little shit probably is,” he gritted through his teeth. He saw a twinge of sadness go through her expression. “Listen,” he started, “I really wanted to stay, but if I don’t pick him up, it’ll start a whole thing with my family and I…” he didn’t complete but he was sure she understood. 
            “It’s okay, Jay,” it was the first time she had called him by a nickname, and his heart beated faster at the sound. “I was about to close up anyways.”
            “Oh,” he breathed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
            “Yeah,” she nodded, her eyes a bit glossy. 
            He turned around, his book on his hands, when he heard a small ‘Wait’. Jason turned back to her, she was looking at her feet, maybe embarrassed that she had called him, maybe she just didn’t want him to go. He didn’t want to go either. “Can you give me a ride?” she asked. “I mean, I live pretty close to Gotham Academy, it wouldn’t be too much of a detour.”
            His heart picked up the pace, and he fought a smile. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”
          She smiled at him. “Great,” she replied. “I just need to pick up my things and we can go.”
          She was very quick. She turned the lights off of the entire store and returned to the front desk with a small backpack and a few notebooks in hand. She smiled at him. “Lead the way.” 
           Like the gentleman he was raised to be, he took the notebooks from her hands and led the way, Y/N only a few steps behind him. She fished out a key out of her pocket and locked the front door. She tied a chain around the doorknob in a very specific way that almost seemed like a sailor’s knot. She put a locket in the end of the chain, and dragged a metal door down, then locking it to the ground. It seemed excessive, but it was Gotham, and Jason knew first hand what the city was like. 
           They walked a few doors down. Jason’s car glistened in the fading sunlight. He was fucking proud of that car. He had fixed everything in it, he knew that machine inside out. He made it what it was, a beautiful and powerful car. It was one of the few things he had done he felt proud of it. 
          He unlocked the doors with the alarm--yes, a 1962 black Corvette with electronic alarm, he had done that--and he heard a gasp beside him. He turned to see Y/N and her eyes glistened with amazement. “What?” he asked, confused. 
           “You have a ‘62 Corvette?” she asked, shocked. 
           “Yeah,” he dragged, still confused. 
           “I fucking love this car,” she said completely ignoring him and getting closer to the car, analyzing it carefully. “It’s so beautiful.”
           “It really is,” he got around it, looking at the street to see if there were any cars coming down. He then opened the door of his car and got in. “Get in,” he smiled at her. 
           She opened a beaming smile. She opened the door and sat on the passenger seat, her bag resting on her feet, her notebooks now on her lap, she noticed the roof of the car on--the better option for the approaching winter--the head rest he had added, the bright red color of the leather seats, and the original panel, even though she knew he most likely altered everything behind it. She looked like a little kid in it, and Jason could get used to the sight of her beside him. 
           He started the car and she squealed excitedly at the sound of the motor. He looked at her, a small smile on her face. “Is it the original motor?” she asked. “It doesn’t sound like it, it sounds electrical.”
           “That’s ‘cause it is electrical,” he responded. “The original one was very poluent so I switched it.”
           “That’s so cool,” she said, closing her eyes. Jason hinted she was trying to hear the sounds of the car, like someone you’d listen to music. “This is so cool,” she breathed out. 
           He hummed in amusement. “Never met someone who was as passionate about this car as me,” he noted. 
           “You didn’t meet people with good taste then,” she joked. “I’ve loved this car since I was a teen. Always wanted one, but I never had it in me to buy it.”
           “I found this one in a junkyard basically,” he said. “It was in pretty good condition considering where it was. Spent a year tryin’ to fix it to the original conditions, gave up and then another year buildin’ it to what it is today.”
           She looked at him, he noticed out of the corner of the eye, incredulously. “You’re so fucking cool, Jason,” she said. “You’re beyond cool, you’re just…” she trailed off. He looked at her quickly and she had a shy smile and she was looking at her hands. 
           “Thank you,” he thanked her. “People haven’t found me cool in,” he let out a breath, “forever.”
           “Well, you haven’t been walking with very nice people then,” she said. “No offense to your friends, but you’re just… you’re special, Jay.”
           And, fuck, did he love hearing that from her. She left him speechless. She turned to him and saw his stony expression--an expression of panic and chock, not of disgust as she thought--and she inhaled sharply. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” she said, desperately trying to correct her mistake. “I said too much. Forget I said anything, please,” she completed, smally. 
           “It’s okay, love,” he replied softly, the car stopping slowly at the intersection. He turned to her. He grabbed her hands, that were twisting nervously in her lap--a nervous tick he remembered noticing she had in school--and looked at her softly. “You’re fucking special too, Y/N.”
           She looked at him and her eyes filled with tears. “I--” she hesitated. She smiled at him, sniffing and wiping her eyes with one of her hands, the other still intertwined in Jason’s. “Thank you,” she said. “You have no idea what this means to me.”
           He smiled at her. “I’m just saying the truth, love.”
           That made her even more flustered. “You’re just being kind,” she said, shyly, looking at her hands entangled with his. She removed her hands of his, the traffic light turned green and Jason resumed driving the car. 
           “No, I’m not,” he denied her. “I’m telling you the truth. You’re special, and you’re amazing, Y/N.”
           She shook her head in denial, her bottom lip trapped by her teeth. “I’m not all that great,” she whispered. “I’m pretty annoying in fact. You just haven’t seen it yet.”
           “I don’t believe you. Why’d you think that?”
          She shrugged. “When you spend your whole childhood and teenagedom hearing that you’re nothing but an annoying crybaby nerd, you start to believe it at some point.”
Jason swallowed tickly at her remark. He couldn’t believe what she had just said. “Who said that to you?”
        She shook her head. “You don’t have to worry,” she replied, dismissing his concern. “It’s over now.”
           “But it still hurts you,” he noted. He noticed how this could easily apply to him. How he easily would get worked up on the little things Bruce would mention and Jason would brush it, say it’s over, it doesn’t matter, when it clearly does. It fucking does. 
           She looked at her hands, and sniffed. “It’ll always hurt, I guess.”
           Jason was rarely speechless. But, at that moment, he didn’t know what to say. Because he remembered hearing those things about her. He remembered people talking about her in that way, saying she was weird, and that they only talked to her when they needed help with homework. Admittedly, he never ever said those things about her--he didn’t even believe those things--but he never said a word to those who called her that. And that, arguably, was worse than saying those things. 
           He struggled to conciliate that guilt with the fact that he didn’t even feel like that boy--he wasn’t that boy anymore. That boy died by the hands of a clown. What had emerged from it was something entirely different. And yet, he still felt guilt over something he hadn’t done when he was that kid. 
           “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 
           “You don’t have to be sorry, Jay,” she said, her hands finding his, on the gear shift. “You didn’t do anything.”
           “But I--” he started, “I didn’t say anything about it. I knew about those things and I didn’t stop them.”
           She looked at him, and he saw by the corner of his eye. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m sure you were going through other stuff and you just wanted to fit in.”
           How was she so fucking understanding? He scoffed lightly. The thing is: he wasn’t trying to fit in, he was trying to stay out of sight. So he just listened and said nothing. “How are you so good?” He said, incredulously. He was the first person to say Gotham was rotten, head to toe, and yet there she was, fucking pure soul. 
           “I guess I just am,” she shrugged. 
           And then they fell in a comfortable silence. Her hand was still in his, and he fought the urge to bring her knuckles to his lips and plant a kiss on it. Every now and then he would steal glances at her, and he swore she was glowing in the orange sunlight peaking in the window. 
           “That’s me,” she said, pointing to a tall modern building a block before Gotham Academy. 
           “That’s a big fancy building,” he noted slowly. 
           “It’s one of my parents’ apartments,” she explained. “I live in it rent free, but I have to pay for electricity and food and stuff. It was the condition for using it. They insisted they’d pay the tuition and I demanded this apartment in return, ‘cause I wanted to pay the tuition and they wanted to--” she trailed off noticing a weird look in his eyes. “I’m sorry I ranted.”
           “It’s fine, I like to hear you talk,” he said, smiling. 
         She smiled back, looking at her feet. “Well, I should get going,” she said opening the car door. “Thanks for the ride, Jason.”
           “No problem, love,” he shook his head slightly, and looked at her softly. 
          “Yeah,” she whispered, her eyes fixed on his, already out of the car. “Bye,” she finished awkwardly and quickly walked to the building. 
           Jason watched as she floated to her home, mesmerized by her. 
           Fuck. 
#
#
#
“Red Hood has been following me,” she manifested her psychologist looking at her with wide eyes. “It’s weird to say it out loud.”
        “Why do you say that?” her psychologist asked. 
        “‘Cause I’ve seen him,” she replied. “A couple of times actually.”
        “Are you sure?” the therapist asked. 
        “Yes, I am,” she nodded enthusiastically. “I just don’t get why he’s following me.”
        “Isn’t he supposed to be a good guy?” her therapist quizzed. “Following people doesn’t seem like a good guy thing to do.”
        “Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m not scared though. I know I should be, but I’m not,” she commented. “I know I haven’t done anything wrong, there's no reason for him to be following me, at least no reason like that. I don’t know,” she sighed, “maybe he just wants to be my guardian angel,” she shrugged. 
        “It sure is a weird angel,” the therapist noted. “Have you talked about this with Jason?”
        “I did mention it to him,” she nodded. “But he got all weird about it and changed the subject quickly.”
        “That’s strange.”
        “Yeah, he definitely knows something about this,” she said smugly. “I really want to find out.”
        “Well, on the topic of Jason,” her therapist said as if she hadn’t brought him up, “how’s things with him?”
        “They’re okay,” she shrugged. “He comes to see me at work almost every day. Then he walks me to my car or gives me a ride home.”
        “I see,” the psychologist noted. “And what do you guys talk about?”
        “I don’t know,” she mumbled under her breath. “Mostly about books. Sometimes about life,” she recounted. “He’s very reserved. He doesn’t talk much about himself.”
        “And you? Do you talk about yourself?” 
        She hesitated. There was no point in lying to her therapist, it would go against the very definition of therapy and if there was one thing she hated was hypocrisy. “No,” she shook her head quietly, “I-- everytime I try, something happens and…” she shrugged. “I guess I’m too scared of scaring him off.”
        “Y/N…” the therapist warned. “You need to open up to him. How do you expect him to stick around if you don’t share things about you?”
        “To be fair,” she said raising her finger as if it would make the point she was about to make more believable, “I’ve talked about myself once with him and it was… fuck, it was hard.”
        “How did he react?” the therapist inquired. “Was he a dick?”
        “No!” she was quick to reply. “He was the sweetest. But I’m just…”
        “Depriving yourself of a potential relationship,” her therapist completed for her. “You’re sabotaging yourself, Y/N.”
        “No, I’m not,” she denied, fooling herself. “I just don’t want to get my hopes up and end up heartbroken.”
        The psychologist sighed. “I know you’re scared of getting hurt, but you’ll never know unless you let him in,” the therapist stated. “You might be pushing him away and sabotaging yourself when investing in this relationship could very well be something right for you,” she finished.
        “I know,” she mumbled. “But I just,” she sighed, defeated. “I’m scared.”
        “I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to try,” her therapist added softly. 
        “Okay,” she nodded, softly. 
#
#
#
She waited at the edge of her seat for Jason to come in at the store. She was going to try. Fuck, she hoped she didn’t mess anything up. Up until that moment she didn’t know what she was doing, she just did it. She hoped she knew what she was about to do. 
        The bell rang and Jason walked in, his hair swept by the chilly wind and his hands stuffed in his jeans’ pockets. He wore that leather jacket she loved so much, it made him so much more beautiful. She just wanted to grab him by his shirt and kiss him to no end. She smiled at him and he smiled back. 
        “I was waiting for you,” she announced happily. 
        “Yeah?” he said, leaning on his elbows. His face was inches away from hers. His pupils were blown wide, his blue eyes twinkling with something she couldn’t quite place yet. “Excited for the next rec, huh?” he smirked. 
        “No, actually,” she corrected him. “I needed to tell you something.”
        “Oh,” he said. “Go ahead then, I’m all yours.”
        “Okay,” she whispered, her heart racing at his comment. She swallowed nervously, looking him in the eye. This was it. She was going to open up to him. “I was talking to my therapist actually,” she started, “and we agreed--actually no,” she laughed. “She said that I need to open up and be vulnerable more. And it may seem a bit weird that I’m saying this to you but I swear there’s a reason.  So here it goes,” she breathed out. “I really like you, Jay. Like, really really like you. And I’m sorry if I’ve seemed weird or standoffish or anything, I’m trying to work on that. So if you want to, I don’t know, take this, um, friendship somewhere else, maybe somewhere romantic, I’d be, you know, happy to take it there too. With you, I mean.”
        He smiled genuinely at her. His eyes shifted to  her hands. She was twisting her fingers nervously. He rested his hand on hers, her hand immediately relaxing under his touch. “I’d like that,” he responded quietly. “Wanna go on a date tonight?”
        She smiled, her eyes a bit teary. Her heart raced in her chest, the worst case scenario hadn’t come true. He liked her too. He wanted to date too. Her anxiety was wrong. Thank God for that. “Yeah, I do,” she confessed. 
        His smile got bigger somehow.  “Great,” he breathed out, and she could feel the nerves leaving his body. “I’ll pick you up at 8,” he stated. 
        She smiled at him. “Great.”
#
#
#
“I need you to cover patrol for me,” Jason said to Tim, his phone pressed between his shoulder and ear. He carried a bouquet of flowers, bags from the market and a suit he had it pressed and sent to the Iceberg Lounge.
        “Why?” Tim quizzed him. 
        “‘Cause I have a thing,” Jay responded. 
        “Yeah, Imma need more than that, Jay,” Tim said. “What thing?”
        “You’re a little fucker”, he answered, resting the bags on the floor. “You just want gossip.”
        “No, I want a reason why I’ll have to add the Narrows to my patrol tonight,” Tim argued. “It’s quite far from my usual route, y’know.”
        “Fuck you, Tim,” Jason muttered. 
        “Why such hostility?” Tim teased. Jason could practically hear his brother’s smirk over the phone. “Is someone going on a date tonight?”
        Jason exhaled deeply, trying not to lose his temper and drive to Wayne Towers to choke his brother to death. He was on a schedule, he had dinner to prepare. “Will you cover for me or not?”
        “Will you tell me why you're ditching patrol?”
        “No,” Jason gritted through his teeth. 
        “Then no,” Tim said plainly. Jason knew he was messing with him. 
        Jason sighed. There was no way he’d cancel on Y/N. Not because his motherfucking brother was toying with him. “I swear to God, Drake, if you tell anyone I'll kill you the most painful way possible.”
        “So you are going on a date,” Tim stated. 
        “Fuck,” Jason sighed. “Yes, I am. Now, please Timothy, would you cover patrol for me tonight?”
        “Who’s the girl?”
        “Tim,” Jason started.
        “Or boy, I don’t judge.”
        “Will you cover the motherfucking patrol?”
        “Yeah, yeah,” Tim dismissed. 
        “Thank you,” Jason sighed relieved. 
        “Will you introduce me to t--”
        Jason hung up on his brother. He had a date to get ready to. 
#
#
#
Jason spent the rest of his afternoon getting everything ready for the date. The food, the flowers, the ambiance of the roof. Everything was perfect, just like she fucking deserved. 
           He was nervous out of his mind. His hands were sweating and he couldn’t stop running his hands through his hair in a nervous habit. It was so long ago the last time he had gone on a date with someone he cared this much about. He didn’t want to screw it up. 
         She was so precious, so good. He didn’t know what someone like her saw in someone like him, someone tainted and broken. But she saw something, and she wanted him. And he wasn’t dumb, he wasn’t going to let her go. Even if everything in his life told him to run from her, protect her from a distance, don’t get close ‘cause she’ll become a target. 
         And he was doing just that, he was protecting from a distance as the Hood. He was being fucking dumb about it too, cause she had seen him more than once. But being distant was not enough, not anymore. 
          So there he was, in front of her apartment, black ‘62 Corvette, crisp black suit and blood red t-shirt. His hair was messy and his hands were in his pockets. He leaned on the hood of the car, waiting patiently for her to come to his encounter. He was early anyways, he could wait, even if he hated the looks of pity he was receiving. She would come and those fucking pedestrians knew nothing. 
           She opened the doors and stepped on the sidewalk. She was wearing a beautiful red knee-length dress with black heels and Jason was just paralyzed at her sight. Fucking hell. How can someone be so perfect? How can someone so perfect want him?
          She stopped in front of him, a smile framing her face beautifully, her glasses crystal clean. “You look great, Jay,” she stated. 
          “I--” he opened his mouth but no words came out of his mouth. Her face fell and her eyes flashed with worry. 
          “What’s wrong?” she said. “Is everything okay?”
          He breathed out and smiled at her. “Everything’s perfect, love,” he said. He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles gently. “You look breathtakin’.”
          She looked down shyly. “Thank you, Jay.”
          He opened the door of the car for her. She thanked him kindly, and he closed the door for her. He entered the car and started the engine. “Where’re we going?” she quizzed him.
          He looked at her with a smirk. “It’s a surprise,” he stated. “It’s part of the charm.”
          She smiled at him. “You don’t need to surprise me to charm me, Jason.”
          “Cute you think that, but you’ll see,” he responded. “This is going to be a perfect night.”
          She looked at him and sighed quietly, like she was considering something. “It’s already perfect. I’m here with you,” she said coyly. 
          Jason looked at her quickly, her gaze fixed on him. He smiled shyly. One of his hands left the wheel and found hers, holding it tightly. He brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed it softly. He wanted to say three little words, and he almost did. But she was too precious and he couldn’t just waste those words in a moment like this, an immature moment at that. No, he would cherish her like she was supposed too. He would love her in secret for now, and when he was sure she reciprocated his feelings he would say it with all his heart, he would shout it from the highest rooftop. 
          But, for now, he just looked at her, hoping his look was enough to say what he couldn’t. She smiled like she understood what he was trying to say. 
          Yeah, she was perfect. He wasn’t going to let her slip through his fingers. Fuck the voices in his head saying to run. For once in his life he was going to welcome this feeling with open arms. 
#
#
#
“So, how was your week?” her therapist quizzed. 
        “It was great, actually,” she said. “Jay took me to the museum in Metropolis. I did well in a test and I got my salary early so I bought a new pin for my collection.”
        “You’re sure spending a lot of time with Jason,” the psychologist noted. 
        “Yeah, yeah,” she sighed softly. “I really like him, you know.”
        “I do know,” the therapist replied. “How does it feel to be in a relationship?”
        She looked down at her hands, flustered. “It feels nice and weird and...and…” she trailed off. “I have no words to describe it.”
        Her therapist smiled at her. “He seems like a nice guy, Y/N,” she commented. “How do your friends like him?”
        She twisted her hands nervously. “Henry was suspicious of him at first,” she started. “You know, Jay’s a bit shy and intimidating, Henry was concerned he’d hurt me.”
        “And how did you react to his concern?”
        “I mean,” she shrugged, “it’s a valid concern. But Jay wouldn’t…” she hesitated. “We’ve talked about this, y’know? He knows where I stand, he knows where my fears come from and he gave me his word,” she sniffed, her voice strained. “He promised. And so far he didn’t break any of his promises.”
        “You do trust him a lot,” the therapist noticed. 
        “I trust him with my life,” she added. “I hope he doesn’t break that trust.”
        She hummed and wrote something down. “What about your other friends?” her therapist questioned. “I know Henry means the world to you, but he’s not your only friend.”
        “Julie thought he was okay and the other boys were just very neutral about it,” she explained. “You know how they’re like. As long as I’m happy they’ll be supportive.”
        “Are you happy?” the psychologist inquired. 
        “Yeah,” she replied enthusiastically. “Fuck yeah. Jay’s just… He’s the best, you know. He gets me. He’s respectful and he’s smart and handsome. I really like him.”
        Her therapist smiled. “I’m glad you’re happy, Y/N,” she said. “It’s been a long time coming.”
        “It sure has,” she chuckled quietly. 
        “How about the Red Hood?” the therapist asked. “Have you seen him lately?”
        “All the time,” she replied. “Ever since I started dating Jay, I’ve seen the Hood when I wasn’t with him.”
        “Doesn’t that concern you?”
        “No,” she shook her head. “It’s weird but it doesn’t.”
        “Why’s that?”
        “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “He seems familiar, you know? Not because I’ve seen him up close or seen him more times than I can count but…” she pondered. “His posture and his stance, it’s so so familiar to me. I wonder if I’ve met him as a civilian.”
        “You could have,” her therapist pondered. “How does Jason think of this?”
        “He doesn’t,” she answered. “He always changes the subject very quickly every time I bring it up.”
        “That’s weird.”
        “Yep,” she agreed. “I know he’s up to something. I just haven’t had the courage to ask him. Yet.”
#
#
#
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
        Jason messed up.  He messed up bad. 
        He could live with the fact she had seen him a couple of times lurking in rooftops making sure she was safe. He could live with the fact she was onto him, that she knew he was hiding something from her, something related to the Hood. Jason knew eventually he would have to tell her, this double life would become unsustainable, and he’d have to merge it into one. As much as he dreaded that day, he would fucking do it. 
        But when she sat him down in her living room and said that she knew he was the Hood, he knew, he was fucking sure, he should have been more careful. 
        “I’m not mad, y’know,” she said quietly. “I get why you hid from me.”
        Jason remained quiet, trying to make sense of his thoughts. “How did you find out?”
        A smile passed on her face. “You were just so familiar, I guess,” she explained. “You felt so familiar even from afar. So I just started connecting the dots.”
        “I see,” he whispered. His heart beated faster and faster with anxiety. He couldn’t handle it, he thought he would have more time to tell her. He hadn’t realized she could very well discover on her own, he had given her enough clues to do just so. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
        “It’s fine, Jason,” she replied quietly. “You don’t need to feel sorry.”
        “I feel like I should,” he said. He sighed and grabbed her hands softly. “I owe you an explanation, Y/N.”
        “You don’t owe me anything besides your safety,” she cut him. “I don’t care about what you do at night, Jason. I care about you, I--” she looked at him, trying to search for something in his eyes. “I love you, Jay. And I don’t think I could bear to lose you.”
        Jason opened his mouth in shock. He wasn’t expecting that. “I love you,” he replied to her. “I’ve fucking loved you ever since I laid eyes on you, Y/N,” he grabbed her face and rested his forehead on hers. “I was just so scared to let you in on the secret. ‘Cause I know of the dangers, I know first hand how fucking dangerous this life is, and loosing you would kill me,” he explained. “For the second time,” he whispered. 
        Her hands rested on his cheeks, her thumb caressing him gently. She kissed him, softly, and he reciprocated it. 
        “I want to tell you,” Jason whispered, against her lips. “I have to tell you, how I became what I became.”
        “You don���t n--” she began. 
        “I do, though,” he interrupted her. “I do,” he whispered. He sighed, and looked down. He held her wrists carefully. “If you don’t want to see me after everything I tell you, I’ll understand. I won’t blame you.”
        “Imma stop you right there,” she looked him in the eyes. “You think I don’t know anything, but I know a couple of things, Jay. I did my research on the Hood,” she commented. “You don’t scare me.”
        “There are things that I’ve done that…” he shook his head. 
        “It’s okay, Jay,” she said softly. “One step at a time, love.”
        So he took one step at a time. He told her everything carefully. Some details were left behind, he couldn’t say them out loud, not even if he wanted to. She held his hands through it all, and he was truly grateful for it. 
        “I had no idea,” she whispered. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”
        “You don’t have to be,” he shook his head and squeezed her hands. “It led me to you.”
author’s note: here is the link to my jason playlist once again and the link to my masterlist.
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ramheavenandhell · 4 years ago
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Rick and Morty Forever and One Hundred Years – Chapter 10: What the heck!
AN: If this feels like a filler chapter to you, it's probably because it is. No really, I'm just using this to tie up some lose ends and to show a little bit of development in Rick's and Morty's relationship. So please lower your expectations and keep down your excitement. And yes, I do feel embarrassed that it took me this long to get it out (blame stupid writer's block). Warnings: Rick/Morty and some smutty (public) smut
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Rick and Morty Forever and One Hundred Years – Chapter 10: What the heck! Morty ran as fast as his short legs could carry him, close on Rick's heels. They had just picked up something from the hardware store that Rick needed for the gadget that he was currently working on and on their way back to the garage they had been surprised by a sudden downpour. The brunet ducked quickly into the garage behind his friend, but the damage was already done. Both teens were drenched, small puddles forming underneath their feet from the water that was dripping off their clothes. "Gee, what's up with the weather? It was still sunny when we left. Pretty weird, right Ri—?" The words died in Morty's throat as he saw how the other teen pulled his t-shirt over his head. Letting the wet clothing drop gracelessly on the floor, the pants followed next. Heat rushed into the brunet's cheeks and even though he didn't mean to stare, he checked out his boyfriend's naked form as he stripped down to his boxer shorts. While his stature was short, Rick's frame was lean and had some muscle on it. Morty wasn't quite sure where those muscles came from since he had never seen the other work out. However, he then remembered that Rick was sometimes handling some really heavy equipment so maybe that had something to do with it. The memory of when he assisted his boyfriend with some components of the car resurfaced. Rick had been busy putting some reworked parts back into the engine compartment and Morty had thought that he could help with that. Confidently he had grabbed the car battery, but when lifting it up it weighed more than the expected 50 lbs. Whatever Rick had done to it, it was super heavy now and threatened to slip between his fingers and crash on the ground. Luckily, the other teen came to his rescue and took it off his hands before that could happen (and he knew that he would have never heard the end of it if he would have let it drop). The ease with which Rick had handled that metallic block had astounded Morty. Now that he thought about it, if the genius teen always lugged around stuff that heavy, he probably didn't need a workout program at all… "Hey, Morty! You should take your clothes off, too, or you're gonna catch a cold." The blue-haired boy ripped him out of his thoughts. His blush increased as he noticed the other's wolfish grin. Of course, Rick had caught him staring. Coming a few steps closer, his boyfriend added in a teasing tone, "Do you need my help with that?" "N-n-no. I-I'm f-fi-fine." Face changing to an even darker shade of red, Morty inched the slightest bit backwards. To his relief, Rick dropped the teasing and, albeit reluctantly, he slowly peeled the wet clothes from his own body. However, he couldn't help but feel shy about the entire situation. Sure, it wasn't like Rick hadn't seen him half-naked already, but that was before they had started dating. Also, this whole scenario was reminding him too much of a romance fanfiction that he had once read. In it, the two main characters had been surprised by a rainstorm in the middle of a forest and took shelter in an abandoned hut and they also took off their clothes and things had gotten really steamy then… And even though Rick had told him that he would take things slow, he sometimes did get a bit more handsy. They've been together for a few weeks now so he wouldn't really be surprised if the other considered that he had been waiting long enough. That thought only made Morty feel more exposed than he was. Shyly he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to cover as much of his body as he could. Of course, his antics didn't go unnoticed. "Oh come on, Morty. No need to act that way. We're all alone in here and no can see us." Those words didn't built up his confidence one bit and when Rick came closer towards him again, he felt like he wanted to hide somewhere. "And you don't have to be ashamed of your body." His boyfriend added and closed the last small distance between them. Then lips were on his and Morty wanted to melt into the kiss as he always did, but couldn't. His nerves didn't allow it. As Rick's hands wandered over his back, he only stiffened more the massaging motions failing to relax his tense muscles. Yet the other teen didn't give up and continued his stroking motions while his tongue slipped into the brunet's mouth. His body was quickly heating up even without the help of Rick's body warmth and his thoughts were tumbling, trying in vain to keep up with everything that was happening. It wasn't like he didn't want this, but he wasn't sure if he wanted it right now and right here… Rick's perfume and his natural scent were surrounding him, reminding Morty of their closeness again. Hyperaware, he noticed how the hands went lower and his eyes snapped open as they touched the waistband of his short. No, he couldn't! Quickly, he pushed the other away, bringing a small distance between them. "R-Rick, wait! I-I can't…I'm n-not ready yet…" "Huh? What do you mean?" Rick blinked at him for a moment. Then understanding dawned on his face. "Wait! You think that I want to—?! Jeez, Morty! We're not gonna do it in the garage. At least not the first time." He instantly moved away from the brunet and sat down in his swivel chair. "I don't know what rumors you've heard about me, but I have class, okay?" While Rick did sound a bit offended, he didn't look angry. Morty felt relief wash over him and his stiff body finally relaxed. "S-sorry. I just…I thought…I guess, m-my imagination ran away with me. Haha." He laughed nervously and rubbed his left arm, feeling once more embarrassed, but this time because he had been jumping to conclusions. "And then you're gonna claim that I have a one-track mind…" "I-I never said that!" "I know, I know. I was just making a joke. Chill, Morty." Rick began to unpack his purchase at the workbench and the brunet joined him, looking curiously over his shoulder. While, slowly drying off, both teens preoccupied themselves with tinkering again. However, Rick's still wet and occasionally dripping hair began to bother the genius. With an annoyed sigh, he tugged a stray strand back behind his ear. "Ugh! My hair's such a mess…" The complaint directed Morty's attention to the blue locks. Indeed, the spikes had been flattened from the wetness. "Actually, I think it doesn't look bad like this…" Daringly, he ran his hand through his boyfriend's hair, knowing very well that Rick was really picky about it and didn't just let anyone touch it. It was thick and despite the wetness still felt fluffy and the other didn't only allow him to continue, but even began to purr as he lightly scratched along the scalp. "Hmm…you really think so?" The other teen seemed to contemplate about a style change and pondered if he should try to slick his hair down a bit instead of keeping his usual spikes, which were funnily enough all natural. "Well, it's your hair, but I-I think, it suits you." Rick hummed again. "You're really starting to act your part, don't you Morty?" "Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" A blush sneaked on the brunet's face again since he knew what Rick was trying to say and his hands retreated again. "Y-you-you're acting your part pretty well yourself with going in-into protective boyfriend mode as soon a-as someone talks to me." That wasn't a lie since Morty noticed that the other tended to get easily jealous now whenever someone approached him. Even when they weren't flirting with him like Jessica had. "W-well, that's only be-because you need some protection. I-I mean, it's not l-like you're surrounded by the most reliable people anyways. And in the time I was s-skipping school, you were constantly beaten up. So, nothing wrong w-with someone looking after you, right?" The blue-haired teen was the one, who became flustered now, as he tried to defend his actions. After looking a little longer at Morty's face, he sighed. "Hey, you remember when you asked me if I put cams and mics in your house?" "Yeah…?" The brunet replied reluctantly. "Well…I might have bugged it…" "You what?! You lied to me! You said that you didn't plant any cameras or microphones!" "I never said that I didn't do that. I just said that it's a creepy creep move to do something like that." It was the truth. "Then—why did you do something like that?!" "I did it because I was worried about you!" "Worried about me?!" The boy didn't know how to take that. "Yeah. Just imagine what would happen if someone would break into your house at night. Your dad is such a coward, if he confronts the bugler, he'd probably tell him where all your money is including the combination to the safe and tell him where your and your sister's rooms are!" While Morty didn't want to think that his father would actually do that, he also couldn't deny that Rick had a point. "So, if anything happens, I'd be over there ASAP and safe your cute little ass." Rick continued with a confident smirk. The thought actually made Morty blush anew, thinking about the other coming to safe him as if he was some kind of knight in shining armor. That look somehow suited Rick. However, a sudden thought bothered him. "Wait! Did you put those cams and mics everywhere?!" He was embarrassed to think that Rick might have seen or heard when he was having his "private alone time" in the bedroom. Rick seemed to get where Morty was going with this. "Chill out, Morty. I didn't bug your room or the bathrooms. Your sister's or your parents' bedrooms are also safe. So, don't worry your little Morty head over that." Morty wasn't sure if he could trust what Rick had said, especially when he grinned at him like that, but he let it slip. He sighed. "Okay. That's good then." Rick's grin only broadened. Not knowing the truth would let Morty sleep better at night anyway.
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Morty was flushing bright red as he was dragged by Rick into the school's restrooms. The blue-haired teen quickly checked if the stalls were empty before he pulled his boyfriend into one of them. Being roughly shoved into the wall of the cubicle, Morty mewled into the heated kiss that followed. It wasn't the first time that Rick did this – just pulling him into the boys' bathroom for a making out session – but he still felt that he should protest that they'll be late for their next class. Not that Rick ever cared about that before…or right now, for that matter. However, he would never understand why Rick was so insistent on doing this. Not that he didn't sometimes feel the urge to be a little more intimate with Rick. But why did he always have to drag him off to the restrooms? It only served to make Morty more embarrassed because this was such a public place. …Though, he couldn't deny that the prospect of getting caught made his stomach curl in excitement. Oh! That probably was the reason why Rick liked to do this with him in here… A muffled squeak escaped him as the other pressed closer and something hard was rubbing against his crotch. His blood tried its best to evenly divide itself between his cheeks and his lower body. With how flush Rick's body was pushing against his, it was pretty obvious to Morty what that hardness was that he could feel rubbing against him – and his own member was reacting to it, very eager to greet its counterpart. The brunet whimpered into the kiss as the other teen's hands landed on his backside and pulled him more into the movement. "R-Rick…" His boyfriend stopped humping him and released his lips, but still kept the close contact between their warm bodies. Breathlessly, Morty continued. "Rick…we re-really shouldn't…n-not right he-here…" "Oh come on, Morty." Light pecks were placed on his lips and cheeks. "There's no harm in fooling around a little bit." When the other kissed his neck and then began to suck at his pulse point, Morty official lost the discussion and gave in. Leaning his head back in order to give Rick more access, he moaned softly. "O-okay. But on-only a little bit…" If Rick hadn't reassured him before that he wouldn't go all the way with him in a place like this, he might have been more reluctant to agree. As it was though, his erection was twitching inside his pants and clearly looking forward to continue this. The blue-haired teen pulled him into the movement again as he rubbed their crotches together and Morty almost yelped. Hastily he slapped a hand over his mouth, flushing in shame as the echoing noise reminded him again that they were in a public place and people might hear him. Rick seemed fairly unbothered by that though and only grinned against the now bruised skin on his neck. When he stopped grinding again and brought some distance between their bodies, he chuckled at the disappointed sound that the brunet made. With the contact between them lost, Morty could feel the cold of the room seeping through his clothes and shuddered. Still, he waited with bated breath what his boyfriend would do now. He stared with big eyes downwards as Rick's hands fumbled with his pants. Deft fingers quickly opened button and fly and pulled his straining dick free of its confines and Morty felt so embarrassed because he was sure that Rick hadn't actually seen it the other time when they had studied for the math test. "Well, look at that. You're quite packing something for such a small kid." "Y-you—we're the same height!" Morty pointed out defensively, but still sounded flustered. "Yeah, we are~ Comes in handy, but we'll leave that for another time." The genius teen drawled and undid his own pants, pulling his erect cock out now. "Oh god!" Morty breathed as he saw the thick and long length that was actually a bit bigger than his own, completely forgetting to ask what Rick meant with his last statement. "Heh, already impressed? I haven't even started yet, baby." Rick leaned forward again until their cocks were touching and the brunet gasped. It just felt so hot and hard and oh god, the other was twitching as much as he did. Unable to help himself, Morty ground against his boyfriend's length, positively humping him. Rick allowed him this for a while, focusing back on creating a necklace of hickeys on the few space of the brunet's skin that was still unblemished. Very few spaces left indeed. However, he soon stopped that and placed his hands on Morty's hips to keep the boy from moving. The brunet whined in confusion, mind in a daze from all the pleasure. Only to moan loudly when Rick wrapped his hand around both their cocks. Clamping a hand over his mouth again, Morty watched with wide eyes and rapt attention how his boyfriend was stroking them both at the same time. It felt so good. Rick's hand around his member. And Rick's cock pressed tightly against his own. So hot and pulsing and slick with their combined precum. Morty keened. It was almost too much. Just as he was about to get lost completely in the sensations, a sudden noise ripped him out of his lustful haze. Someone had entered the bathroom. Both boys turned stock-still and listened intently. They could hear whoever had walked in entering another stall – thankfully not the one right next to theirs – and then the telltale sound of a zipper. Morty almost accidentally squeaked when the hand that was still wrapped around his dick suddenly picked up movement again. His boyfriend only grinned at him, clearly unworried that they weren't alone anymore. "Rick…please stop…" The brunet whispered frantically, afraid that with how close he was, he wouldn't be able to keep his voice in check. Rick didn't listen to him. Leaning closer to his ear, he only whispered, "Why? It's so much more fun this way." Morty couldn't agree although his traitorous cock was twitching in clear excitement. Its counterpart that was still pressed flush against it agreed in a similar manner. When Rick picked up the pace and tightened his grip, it didn't make matters any better – or better said, it made it better, which only made things harder for Morty. Both in the literal and metaphorical sense. The poor brunet tried his hardest to keep silent, his sweaty palm pressing as tightly against his lips as it could. For some reason, Rick seemed to be doing a lot better at the keeping quiet department. He had no idea how he did that. In an effort to keep control over his voice, he tried to concentrate on the other noises in the room. The decidedly unsexy noises of their unbidden guest. Eventually, it made Morty wonder how long one person could take for using the toilet. Whoever this was, he seemed to be taking forever. Honestly, the brunet was growing frantic for the guy to finish up because he was slowly coming to his own finish. Rick was just touching him so expertly, moving just in the right tempo, using just the right amount of pressure and when he pulled at the foreskin— Morty threw his head back and screamed against his hand as he came helplessly just as the toilet flushing went off, thankfully drowning out his sound. Rick was quick to follow and bit into his shoulder to keep his own voice in check. For a moment, they kept still and silent again, intently listening to the noises that the other person in the room made. Only when he left did they began to move again and started cleaning themselves up. "What the heck, Rick!" Morty nearly shouted and punched his boyfriend in the shoulder. "We almost got caught!" "Just almost though." The blue-haired teen laughed. When his boyfriend still glared at him, he stopped laughing, but still smiled. "Oh come on, Morty. Complain all you want, but I know you still liked it." Well, Morty couldn't deny that. And so, he flushed and reverted to cute pouting. This drew another laugh from his boyfriend before he gave him a peck and then dragged him out of the restroom…and off the school grounds.
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AN: Next chapter will already be the last one, but don't worry, I'll try to make it a good one. Also you won't have to wait for it as long as for this chapter. Promise.
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 11
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onthesandsofdreams · 5 years ago
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Springtime Blossoming
Fandom: ASoIaF Pairing: Sansa x Ned Dayne Rating: T Summary: Sansa Stark did not fall in love with Edric Dayne at first sight. Words: 1752 Notes: For the @asoiafrarepairs‘s ‘A Dream of Spring’ Event. Day 6: Spring.
Read @ AO3
Sansa Stark did not fall in love with Edric Dayne at first sight.
Of course not, Joffrey and Harry cured her of it. But Sansa is a romantic, she believes in love and marriage, in slow dances under the stars, in roses and chocolates, in gentle affectionate gestures. Sansa firmly believes in happily ever after. She’s just not found her match.
Arya, bless her heart, had actually tried to get her to date. “You’re never going to find anyone if you don’t try.”
Sansa had simply smiled sadly, but thanked her sister all the same.
One day, Arya began bringing her friends to their apartment. Amongst them, Edric Dayne. Edric - Ned - was incredibly polite and very helpful around the house whenever she needed some help. Sansa appreciated him, he was sweet.
And then, he and Arya were everywhere. Arya would organize an outing with her friends, and she would invite her, and only Ned would come, everyone else would cancel at the last minute. Sansa didn’t mind, she understood that life could throw curve balls at you. So, little by little, Sansa began to know Ned better.
Sansa could admit to a crush. Ned was handsome, tall and blond, with a slight tan to his skin, easy smile, deep blue eyes and they were always gentle. What Sansa thought she had found in Joffrey, she found in Ned. He was genuinely a good man. The fact that Arya of all people liked him spoke highly of him.
But Sansa wanted to be cautious, she didn’t want to be hurt again. Not in the same way Joffrey and Harry had hurt her. She could understand if they parted ways, if love faded and a split came, that she could deal. Needless cruelty and constant cheating, she did not want again.
“You should ask him out, you know?” Arya had told her once over dinner. “You two could be good together.”
Sansa had blushed and shook her head. “He’s your friend, I couldn’t.”
“He can handle himself, and you do like him, I’m not blind. I think you should consider at least one or two dates.” Then Arya’s face grew dark and solemn. “He’s not Joffrey or Harry,” she growled. “He’s actually good.”
Sansa smiled gently at her sister. “I know, he wouldn’t be your friend otherwise.”
“Damn right. But seriously, one date. And I’ll get off your hair.”
“I - I’ll consider it.”
Arya gave her such a sharp look then, “Good, because he could be good for you.”
Sansa did not ask Ned out quite yet. Instead, she let herself get to know him, be his friend first, she wanted to see if they could be something else for herself. And the more she knew him, the more she talked with him, Sansa could feel her infatuation grow.
“I remember watching you at the tourney King Robert threw,” Ned told her once. “Loras Tyrell gave you a rose.”
Sansa’s eyebrows had shot up in surprise. It was almost a lifetime ago! “You remember that?”
“Yeah, I was working with Beric Dondarrion then. I saw you, your dress was blue.”
Indeed, her dress had been blue. Pale blue to be precise, Sansa still held a photo of it somewhere. “I can’t believe you remember that! I can only remember the ugly parts. I did not see you.”
Ned gave her a sad smile. “No, you were at your father’s arm, I was quite far away.”
“Oh.”
And with that, Sansa’s whole world had opened. This man remembered her from the tourney, he remembered what she had worn. Years later. Joffrey never paid attention to what she wore, unless it was to make him happy. Harry was more interested in getting her off her clothes than any other thing.
Their friendship grew and with it, Sansa’s heart began to ache for Ned. Perhaps she should listen to Arya and ask him out. Perhaps she could be happy with him. Her decision was cemented during the Sevenmas season. Sansa and Arya were planning on heading North, back to Winterfell with their parents, Gendry was tagging along since Arya had decided to introduce him to their parents.
So they made a small dinner for their friends to exchange gifts. Sansa had gotten a new baking book from Hot Pie, a silver pendant in the shape of a rose from Margaery, and a new leather jacket from Daenerys. But the most surprising gift had come from Ned, he had gifted her two books, one of poetry and another of songs and their history.
“I know you like them,” Ned told her. “So I thought that, with your love for poetry, songs and history, you might enjoy them.”
Sansa is left speechless. Not many appreciate her love for songs, much less the romantic aspects of them, but here he is, Ned Dayne gifting her with two books that she will, without any doubt enjoy. She hugs him and kisses his cheek.
“Thank you, they’re perfect.” Sansa notices a slight blush to his face, but decides to let it go. She did just kiss his cheek, and Ned is not one to be boastful when it comes to romance.
“G-glad you like them.”
“I love them already.”
*****
Sansa spends her holiday thinking of Ned, her mother notices, because of course she does. “Your sister tells me you like a boy.” Leave it to Catelyn Stark to cut to the point.
“I do,” Sansa admits. “But I’m afraid.”
Catelyn nods. “I understand, but you can’t live your life in fear. Your sister wouldn’t approve if Edric were a bad man.”
Sansa sighs, tiredly. “I know. She was the one who saw through Joff quite quickly. And Harry too.”
“Then trust her on Edric’s character.” Catelyn smiles at her daughter, takes one of her hands in hers. “Go on a date, see where that takes you.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“You’re my daughter, your father’s too. Be a wolf my darling, be brave.”
That night, Sansa receives a text from Ned, it reads: I hope all is well, have a nice Sevenmas.
And Sansa makes up her mind then, she will ask Ned out. Whatever happens, will happen.
*****
Sansa loses her nerve when she sees Ned when they return. Arya sighs deeply, shakes her head and mutters, ‘idiot’. It takes her three tries to ask Ned out, but she finally manages it, she can feel the heat in her face and she’s stumbling over her words, like a teen asking a boy out for the first time.
But Ned. Wonderful, kind and gentle Ned smiles and his whole face softens, he shines with the same strength of the Dornish sun where he was born, and he accepts. “If you don’t mind, I know a great place I want to take you.”
Sansa doesn’t mind. “When and where, I’ll be ready.”
Ned shakes his head, “No, I’ll pick you up. Saturday at eight?”
“That is fine with me.”
Ned beams then. “Then, Sansa, I’ll see you on Saturday. Wear something casual.”
******
Sansa spends the rest of the week going over her wardrobe. Decides she hates everything and drags Arya shopping. Arya for once doesn’t complain, instead, helps her find the perfect dress. “I know where he’s taking you, you’ll be fine in dress and flats.”
So Sansa listens to her sister, she opts for a lavender dress with white flowers, a soft fluffy cardigan and flats. Spring might have come already, but there is still a chill in the air. Lets her hair loose for the most part, only two small braids holding it from the sides of her head. Her make-up is minimal in soft pink tones.
Sansa’s usual knot in her stomach before a date never comes, a testament to how comfortable she feels with Ned. So, when Ned arrives to pick her up, she walks towards him and kisses his cheek in greeting.
In the end, Sansa discovers that Ned is taking her to a new exhibit. It’s inside the Rhaena Targaryen’s Botanical Gardens. It’s a light show, Sansa loves it. All those beautiful lights, combined with the natural beauty of the flowers and plants, with the crystal ceiling and the stars shining, she feels like this is a magical moment.
At some point Sansa is brave enough to hold Ned’s hand. Ned smiles at her gently, gives her a squeeze and they talk. They talk about everything, and she is pleased at how easy it was to hold his hand, to switch from friendship into a relationship. Because she knew, she knew that she and Ned would go far.
After the light show, Ned takes her to a small bistro. The food is delicious, the company even better. They share a dessert and they go for a walk under the stars. The skies are dark and clear, filled to the brim with stars. Sansa shivers and Ned gallantly offers his jacket, she likes its smell. It smells like Ned, warm and comforting. And she wraps herself around Ned, he simply lets her, but a smile seems to have made itself permanent on his face.
At the end of the night, Sansa is reluctant to part with Ned. They stand at her door, simply unwilling to let go.
“Can I kiss you goodnight?” Ned asks, there’s no pressure in his voice, no demand is made.
“Of course you can,” Sansa answers. She wants to kiss him, to hold him and be held by him. 
Ned presses his forehead against hers, softly caressing her cheek and Sansa holds his face in her hands. He’s so handsome, made all the more by his character. Ned leans forward, gently touching her lips with his own.
Their kiss is soft, gentle and full of something Sansa’s not quite ready to call love. But there is something there, she knows. She wonders if he can feel it too. They separate, but Sansa’s not willing to let go just yet, so she kisses him again, stronger this time and he returns the kiss and holds her head in his hands.
“Goodnight Sansa,” Ned whispers when they finally part. “Rest well.”
“You too,” Sansa’s voice is equally as soft. She watches him go, but her heart is thundering in her chest and she lifts a hand above it. It’s Spring and flowers are blooming, and Sansa can feel her heart begin to bloom too.
Sansa could love Edric Dayne, perhaps, she already does. And only hopes, that he can love her too.
(He does.)
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pinetasticapple · 5 years ago
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A Miraculous Carol chapter 6
The future vision is here. Just what is in store for Adrien?
Also on AO3 and FF
Adrien should have got used to the feeling but he didn't. His eyes felt watery as he blinked the light away, his sight adjusting to the new scenario before him. There were trees and a few benches, a fountain and a big statue dedicated to Ladybug and Chat Noir.
It was Paris alright, he recognized that much. But if this was the spirit of Future Time then, how far in the future was he sent? A few weeks? Months? Years?
Adrien looked around but the spirit was nowhere to be seen. Plagg had hovered out of his shirt to look as well, but the kwami was surprisingly quiet. Maybe, Adrien thought, if he walked a little he would know, have a general idea.
His first instinct told him to go towards the bakery, but before he could turn around, he spotted a familiar face on the other side of the park. Adrien walked in that direction, stopping when he saw who had to be his friend Nino, only older. This Nino was taller, lanky on the arms and with a mismatched beard it made Adrien think he must've shaved in a hurry. His eyes were sunken and dark behind massive eye bags, with his glasses held together by tape. He looked older alright, around his twenties probably? Adrien was bad at calculating but he didn't look like a teen anymore.
Adrien gaped at how time had affected his friend. His posture was slouched, he looked like he hadn't had a good sleep in days, his shirt looked too big on him and there was no sign of his hat or headphones on his presence.
"Nino?" Adrien couldn't believe his eyes, looking at his friend typing something on his phone, frustration written all over his face. He looked at Nino putting the phone on his ear, a foot tapping in frustration as he waited for the other person to answer.
"Where are you?" he snapped at the phone "it's been three hours Alya!"
Adrien blinked. This was the first time he had seen Nino raise his voice like that, not even when he stood up against his father.
"I don't care what your excuse is this time" he snapped "you demanded visitation but you are not fulfilling your part!"
Visitation? Adrien was stunned. Did they have a child? Were they not together anymore? What had happened?
"Well, I also have work! Bills to pay!" Nino grunted, "just tell me where you are and I'll go pick her up."
Adrien followed after his friend, curiosity and dread eating him up. What had happened between those two? He had seen them dating, they were a sweet, almost perfect couple. Sure, Adrien thought, teenage romance would fade sometimes but they seemed so solid, he had to know what had made them drift apart so bad.
Time sped up around him because next thing Adrien was in another side of town, with Nino holding a toddler close to him, his face still angry and the only reason he wasn't yelling was for the little girl asleep in his arms.
"I cannot believe you" he was arguing with a woman who had to be Alya, "you put our daughter at risk too?"
"I did not!" Alya jabbed a finger at his face, "how dare you to call me unethical Lahiffe."
Adrien winced at those two. Alya looked as bad as Nino. She was still carrying her phone ready to record, but her eyes were as sleep-deprived as Nino's, her foot tapping insistently on the asphalt. She must have been trying to catch a scoop, Adrien guessed, but there were no signs of Akuma's or his older self around. Perhaps Alya had become a professional reporter after all?
"Oh, so a paparazzi is a high moral job" he scoffed "this is your final warning Alya, you drag our child to this stunt again and I'll call the lawyers to remove your rights."
"Don't you dare" she seethed at him, "I told you, she couldn't help me because of her husband having a major problem with his company- "
"Oh spare me that story" Nino turned around, "I told you I didn't want to hear from them again."
Alya's eyes hardened and glared at Nino walking away from them but she turned around and took out her phone to record at an open window.
"What is…" Adrien squinted at the window "what just happened?"
"Oh, this is not so good" Plagg showed up next to him "your friends had the short end of the stick alright."
"It's not funny" Adrien glared at him "I don't see how any of that could have happened."
"Oh I have plenty of ideas" Plagg shrugged his paws "what about you?"
Adrien crossed his arms and kept looking at Alya who was trying to get closer to the window. Sure, Adrien could see that part of Alya hadn't changed. But for her to become a paparazzi? To ignore a child, she had with Nino? Just what had happened?
Alya's phone chimed and she picked it up, annoyance still in her voice.
"Yes? No, he just came and" she huffed "look, I have to snap this photo if I want to pay my rent, I'll be there soon, just" she groaned "please tell me he is not going to be there too."
She hung up and went closer to the building, but Adrien was stunned. Who did Alya speak to? He didn't need to know more about what she was trying to do, he was familiar with paparazzi's meddling of life, but he never expected Alya to become one.
His curiosity won him again, even more, when Plagg flew past him towards the building, forcing Adrien to run after him.
It was a hotel, but not the one Chloé lived at. If anything, this one looked more majestic and reserved at the same time, Adrien was amazed. The decoration was on point, elegant without being overbearing, and he couldn't help but marvel at it. It wasn't until Plagg tugged him on the ear that he remembered he was going to find whoever Alya was trying to photograph that he went up the stairs, his steps lighter as he reached in no time what had to be the fourth or fifth floor.
Adrien felt weird when he touched a door, his hand phasing through it like it was nothing. The inside was a very elegant hotel room, a suite if he had to guess, with a colour pattern so warm it made him feel cosy.
But what surprised him was that the current occupant of the room was no other than Chloé Bourgeois. She was sitting on a chaise, phone on her ear as she applied a coat of polish to a well-manicured nail. Her hair was long and braided, with different hair clips and ornaments on it, none of them tacky but elegant. She didn't look tired she looked quite pleased, without a frown or a pout on her face.
"I'm telling you, she's been trying to get a photo for the past hour" she moved to the next finger "of course I could get her escorted out but I have more important things to attend to than a lousy paparazzi" she rolled her eyes "uh like your business? Speaking of which, I have very good news for you, hm" she put the nail polish away "it will go without a hitch you'll see, and do us both a favour and avoid the tabloids" she blew her nails "you know who is crawling to them again, anyway, see you in a while," she laughed "of course I'll go, I cannot wait to see some of their faces."
Chloé grabbed the phone and set it on the dresser, then walked around to fan her nails. Adrien was stunned as she walked past him. Chloé sounded so different and moved so different from the one he had seen. He saw her sitting on a desk that was in the room and use her other hand to access bank accounts, his eyes widening when he saw large sums being donated to numerous charities, with her not frowning or belittling what she was doing.
"This…can't be a bad thing" Adrien muttered, "Chloé changed for good, that's nice, isn't it?"
"Hm" Plagg crossed his paws, "I think that's not what you're supposed to see."
Adrien raised an eyebrow but the phone on Chloé's dresser started to ring. She stood up to pick it up, only to roll her eyes and answering, a frown clearly on her face.
"The answer is still no" she said "no young man, I don't think you understand, if anything good came out of you marrying that woman was that I finally saw how much of a pushover you really are, the meeting will still happen and you best be prepared because I have a plan so solid you'll wish to have finished that minor in business."
"Did she…" Adrien's feet lost balance as the image changed one more time, this time with him almost falling on his knees in front of Le Grand Hotel. There was a sign by the door, welcoming the student generation Adrien was part of, his eyes widening when he saw he was indeed at least 10 years in the future.
"So this is what she meant" Adrien moved towards the reception area, following people dressed quite formally for an ex-colleague reunion. The place was decorated with gold and silver balloons, the tables set around a dance area where he spotted a couple of familiar faces.
He saw Kagami, her hair longer now and loose on her back, smiling at some girls Adrien guessed were classmates. He didn't know Kagami had made more friends and while he was happy to see that, he couldn't help but to feel bad he had missed that part of her life. Did that mean she was free from her mother's iron fist too?
On one table was Nino, who was bouncing the little girl he had seen him with before, talking with two guys Adrien recognized as Kim and Max. Adrien walked towards them, but the conversation was more about what had happened when Nino went to pick his child from Alya.
"She has gotten worse" Nino sighed, giving his little girl a bright plush toy for her to play with "I don't, I don't want my baby girl to be around that woman you know?"
"The nerve she would have to even show her face here" Kim crossed his arms, with Max nodding by his side.
"There is an 83.15% of probability of that happening," he said while typing something on his phone "up to 90.4% if the whole class decides to show up."
"And to bring that guy?" Kim scoffed "no offence Nino but, come on."
"I know" Nino took a long sip of his cup "I should have known sooner."
Adrien was puzzled. Were they talking about him? About Lila? About Marinette? He looked around and couldn't help but notice none of them was there yet. He spotted Alya, alone by a corner tapping furiously on her phone, he spotted Juleka dancing with Rose, Juleka's hair now a pixie cut while Rose's reached her waist, both blissfully ignoring Alya. Adrien even saw Ivan and Mylène, who was animatedly talking with people from other classes but the same generation they were.
He didn't see a sign of Marinette, or himself for that matter.
Had something happened? Adrien felt a pang of pain in his chest. No, he was not going to even touch that line of thought.
The doors opened and Adrien noticed Chloé making her appearance again, dressed in a dashing yellow and black cocktail dress that made a few heads turns. Even after all those years she still held high the colours of the Bee. But what caught his attention was the woman walking behind her, smiling as she talked with someone Adrien couldn't get to see yet.
Marinette looked beautiful, was the first thought that crossed Adrien's mind. She had her hair down in curls at the end, her eyes adorned with blue eyeshadow that made her already blue eyes pop out more, in a red and black dress that adorned her figure so smooth it made his heart leap. Adrien also managed to saw the ladybug miraculous still on her ear.
She still was Ladybug. That was good.
He took a step closer, only to halt when he saw Marinette was holding onto the arm of a man he knew very well. He was smiling as he brushed a hair out of Marinette's face, laughing with her and taking her hand to the dance floor.
Marinette was dancing already, smiling to no one but Luka Couffaine.
If this were a real moment Adrien could easily get akumatized by the heartbreak he was feeling.
The girl –now a woman- of his dreams in the arms of someone else. All Adrien could think of was how happy, how relaxed she looked.
Was this a future where he disappeared? Adrien held his chest, the shirt wrinkling under his fingers. It was horrible for some but better for others. Was this the future meant for him?
He couldn't' dwell on that idea too much, his line of sight focusing on Nino who looked at the couple with a sad smile, to Alya who looked at them with a scowl, to the front doors that were opening again to reveal a new couple walking towards the dance floor.
Adrien's eyes widened in surprise. It was him alright, taller, with slightly longer hair but skinny. He recognized the model smile in his face, he had to practice it in front of a mirror. Adrien was no fool to his expressions, he could tell his future self was miserable. Someone was walking next to him but Adrien couldn't see who they were, as the spirit of Future Time had shown up right in front of them to block out.
Adrien felt the environment in the room shift to tension. He looked at Marinette, who didn't bat an eye at him and instead pulled Luka close to her to whisper something in his ear, the man nodding and taking her off to the table that had refreshments, close enough to where Adrien was currently looking at everything. If this vision were more tangible, he could have sworn he smelled the sweet scent of vanilla and cinnamon from Marinette. But he saw a few of his classmates eyeing him and turning their face away from him, some even scoffing in disdain. He looked at Nino's table where the man opted to check on his daughter, with Kim glaring daggers at his future self.
"I don't…" Adrien looked at his side where Kagami had materialized next to Marinette and Luka.
"The audacity of her to come," she said "no such thing as shame in her."
"Hm," Marinette took a sip of her punch "if she doesn't notice it is her loss," she sighed "so sorry about Adrien."
"That's what he gets for not standing up to himself" Kagami turned to her, offering her and Luka a smile "congratulations are in order I suppose."
"Oh," Marinette's cheeks blushed "thank you."
"We still haven't told the press yet" Luka added, "but it'll be quite soon."
Adrien glanced at Luka's hands carefully holding Marinette's shoulders, his eyes focusing on one specific hand that had a very familiar ring. One that was currently in his possession.
"No…" he looked at Plagg "I…I lose you?!"
"It…looks like it?" Plagg shrugged "this is a possible future kid; it's not set in stone."
Adrien was starting to freak out. He could take his friends not talking to him, or Marinette with someone that made her happy. But to see that he would lose everything, including his chance of freedom, his chance of being a hero? He looked to his future self, his stomach churning when he saw the woman holding him by the arm was none other than Lila.
It all made sense to him now.
Lila had married Adrien, Chloé had been talking to his future self a moment ago. Alya had excused Lila because his future self was losing everything.
He stumbled away from them, only to crash into the Spirit.
"Please stop this" he pleaded "I get it, this could be bad, I know, I definitely know what I have to do," he grabbed onto the cloak "but please stop this nightmare."
"Oh, but Adrien," the spirit removed the cloak to reveal Lila's face looking at him with a devious smile "don't you like this for us?"
Adrien screamed and backed away, the cloak wrapping him as laughter echoed in his brain, everything around him started to spin until he fell. He was falling with images dancing around him until he hit his head with a loud thud.
"No! No!" he kept yelling, fighting his legs against the cloak tangled in him, only to feel a splash of cold water on his face.
"Hey!" Plagg threw the empty glass away "you ok kid? Some nightmare you were having."
"W-w" Adrien blinked and looked at his surroundings. He was halfway on the floor from his bed, his bedsheets a cocoon wrapping his legs. The sun was peeking out as he untangled himself.
It had been a dream. Adrien ran to the bathroom to look at himself. He was a teenager alright, his eyes red from just waking up but he didn't care. He was a teen, it had been a horrible dream, none of it hadn't happened…
"I have to go see her" Adrien looked at Plagg "I have to go see Marinette."
"Right now?" Plagg yawned "it's not even eight…"
"I have to!" Adrien ran out of his room and out of his house in record time. He was not going to risk transforming for this. He had to see her, he had so many things to tell her and he had no time to waste.
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realityhelixcreates · 5 years ago
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Lasabrjotr Chapter 35: Planecdote
Chapters: 35/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: None Relationships: Loki x Reader (Someday) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Reader,  Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Reader Has Some Insight, Loki Tries To Explain Himself, But May Still Be An Unreliable Narrator Summary:   In which Loki explains exactly what he was up to during the New York Attack. It's up to you whether you believe him or not .
It was nice that you had made some friends, Loki thought, slightly annoyed at the continued presence of your little group of human followers. They had followed you around all day while you explained-surprisingly patiently-the abridged version of what had happened to you. They were fascinated by your potential with magic, by Asgard, and, much to his surprise, by him. He had tailed you, of course, in multiple human guises. He had to make sure you were safe, but he understood the need to be on your own. He didn't like it, but he understood.
They wanted to know everything, and for the most part, you didn't have any problems telling them. When some of the questions got a little sensitive, you just laughed softly and told them it was a 'political secret'-no matter what the subject was. They seemed to appreciate the joke.
“But what about when he attacked us?” One piped up. “Is that a political secret too?”
“No,” You sighed. “It's no secret, it's just something I don't know. We haven't exactly discussed it.”
Of course. The crux of every matter involving him, at least from the Earth's standpoint. It would always come up, in every conversation about him. He lounged against a wall, not so far away, only gaining notice because of the impeccably dressed and handsome shape he had taken. Otherwise, none of your little squad was paying him any attention, and he could eavesdrop with ease.
“I can tell you though, that it wasn't exactly his idea.” You said conspiratorially. “He was under someone else's control.”
Oh damn. You were talking about it. Well, he hadn't asked you not to, but it wasn't a subject he wanted to dwell on.
“Someone else was pulling the strings? Who?”
“His name was Thanos, and he was some kinda alien or something. But it's okay, he's dead now. Can't cause any more trouble.”
“Okay, but did he just tell you that? Do you have any proof he wasn't just making it up?”
“Thor corroborated.” You said. “In fact, Thor was the one who told me in the first place. I don't think Loki would have even mentioned it.”
“Why not?” A young man asked. “You'd think that would be the first thing he brought up. Get the blame off of him.”
It's shame.” You said so quietly that he barely heard you. “You gotta understand, Loki is royalty, and not just any royalty; his planet used to rule lots of other planets. He's a prince of whole worlds. He's a god. Like, actually a god, of the old kind that were way more like people, but still gods. For him to have been used like that, to be brought low like that...he'd probably rather we all think he's just evil, rather than have us entertain the possibility for one second that he might have ever been weak enough to allow anyone else to control his actions.”
Loki was boiling inside, but it wasn't with anger. The stew of emotions stuck in his throat like bile. One would think you'd been given Heimdalls eyes, to see through him so. Unsettled, Loki dug his fingers into the wall beside him.
“He actually takes his job really seriously.” You continued. “And his people seem to like him a lot, so he must be good at it. I mean, even the maids speak highly of him, and if he's nice to the servants, he must be pretty decent overall. And so far, he has been really good to me.”
“Are you dating?”
You had Loki's full attention.
You twiddled your fingers nervously. “Is this about all those so-called 'news' articles? We're friends. I think. I'm pretty sure. But I've only known him for a little while, you know?”
“Girl, it's been the whole summer! The sun's just weird here.”
“Wow, has it really been that long? I've just had so much on my plate, and I haven't thought about dating anyone in a long time now. Besides, he's an immortal god-prince, and I'm...I don't know what I am really anymore. Like, I'm working class, but I've been promoted? I dunno, I'm not royalty, so it's probably not even allowed.”
It was. Women in Asgard tended to marry 'up', so to speak. He could marry a peasant if he wanted to. Not without pushback from every noble who wanted to put forth their own daughters, and there weren't many strengthening family alliances that could be made with the lower classes. Not to mention, he simply didn't know many individual peasants, probably for those very reasons. But theoretically, it wasn't forbidden.
But it was something he shouldn't be contemplating right now. He had no time. No inclination. And there was no one of interest to him. No one...
“And anyway, I've got a lot going on, you know?” You were saying. “Gotta learn magic, Asgardian history, and language, and culture, court manners. You know, all that stuff. I can't think about romance right now. Maybe not ever again.”
Your new posse was quick to coo, and protest, and reassure you that that wasn't so, that you'd find someone. Loki wanted to agree. It wasn't as if he wanted you to remain celibate or anything, it was just that he didn't think you had many options. There weren't many humans for you to interact with, and fewer Asgardians who could be considered worthy of you. He supposed that was his fault. Appointing you as his personal seidkona had shot you up through social ranks in a way he didn't think you understood just yet. There were very few people on your level.
“It's not so bad though.” You continued. “I've got more than enough to occupy my time, and if I haven't run him off, Loki is almost always there. I'm not lonely or anything, so I don't necessarily need romance. Don't worry about it. I'm not.”
“Um, sir? Are you aware that you are damaging the wall?” A passerby asked quietly. Loki drew his hands away from where he'd been digging his fingers in, only then realizing that he had left dents in the plaster.
“I see.” He answered, just as quietly. “Thank you for informing me.”
The person moved on swiftly, a concerned expression on their face.
“There's always Thor.” Someone suggested. “We know for sure he's into humans, even if Loki isn't.”
Suddenly Loki was boiling again.
You laughed. “No way! He's not my type. Don't get me wrong, he's great, but just not my kind of guy.”
The bubbling inferno subsided to be replaced by a strange nervy, buoyant feeling. He'd never before heard a woman be so dismissive of the possibility of his brother's affections. From Midgard to Vanaheim, Thor was considered the pinnacle of masculine perfection, everyone knew that. To hear you so quickly declare him to be uninteresting to you was deeply satisfying.
He wanted to wade in among this little group of humans, to scatter them, and take you away. Yes, you needed interaction with other people, but this was all time you could be spending with him. Without any duties, without any danger, just being. You could be exploring the museums, or watching the great whale behemoths swim and blow water into the air, or sampling delicious dishes, which you so loved to do, or just walking the town, holding hands...
No wait, he wasn't doing that anymore. He was going to be more professional, more magisterial. More royal.
You stayed there talking until evening, when hunger presumably overtook you, and your new friends saw you back to your hotel in a tight, protective little group. Loki, of course, managed to get back into your shared room before you, and composed himself as if he had just been waiting for your to return.
“Pleasant afternoon?” He asked innocently.
“Yeah, actually.” You said. “Lotta good conversation, and I think I convinced them that I was fine. They might even hate you a bit less now too.”
“I am not concerned with their opinions.” Loki scoffed. You called that good conversation? Inane questions and senseless suggestions? You were better than that.
“Well, maybe I am. Loki, nobody knows anything about you except for what you did five years ago. Why haven't you done anything to defend yourself? If you just told people what really happened-”
“Would that make it better?” Loki interjected. “Would that gain me forgiveness? Would they even believe me, were I to apologize?”
Well...some would. Especially if you didn't do any other bad things, or did good things instead. Like the nature reserves...”
Loki stepped close and took your hands in his. He would stop tomorrow.
“_____ you know it wouldn't go that smoothly. There is a limit on what I can say. If I told people I was being influenced, they would want to know by whom. And if I spoke about Thanos, they would want to know more about him, his goals, and especially his methods. They would start looking for more answers, and we don't want that. Someone would stumble across information about the Stones, and go looking for them, and it would all start over again. I am pleased that you care about my reputation, but if I want to keep the universe safe, there is little I can do to clear my name.”
You hung your head, refusing to meet his gaze. “ I just thought maybe you could get people to like you, and then you wouldn't have so many enemies.”
Loki laughed. “I'm royalty; I'll always have enemies. I welcome them. They help keep me sharp. Now I need your help with a very important matter.”
“Yes?” You asked, looking back up.
“Where shall we go for dinner?”
                                                                         *****
You ended up in an old, wooden building with a quaint, timber-framed interior, that was far too casual for the effort he had put into his impeccable suit and clean ponytail. He'd thought that you might appreciate seeing him in fine human style, after your day among your own kind, and indeed, it seemed to affect you. In fact, you'd had a hard time taking your eyes off him.
It was pleasant, noticing others staring at you in your beautiful Asgardian dress, and seeing that you were only looking at him. Perhaps he was a finer specimen than he had given himself credit for. But you both stuck out like jewels in a goat's ear, in this tavern-like establishment.
You had insisted though, as soon as you found out they served American food. It seemed your nostalgia was high.
“Pizza, Loki.” You had said. “I haven't had pizza in like, four months, and I just gotta have a pizza!”
So he had caved in, and brought you to this rustic restaurant, where you had ordered a pizza and a soda, and exclaimed about how it had been so long, and laughed at him when he tried to eat his slice of the messy Midgardian concoction with a fork, as was clearly proper. Somehow, you were balancing a floppy slice of the mess in one hand, and just eating it like that. Loki sighed and shook his head. Someday he would cure you of those peasant manners.
“Say, Loki...” You said between bites. “Am I allowed to ask you kinda personal questions?”
When have you ever held back? “To be honest, as my seidkona, you are not only allowed, but expected to question me. Just be mindful of the context, and the situation, and the nature of the question itself. I, on the other hand, need not answer if I do not wish to.”
You nodded slowly. “I want to ask you about the dream we shared.”
“Which one?” They were both unpleasant.
“The more recent one.”
“Ah. Well, if you will but indulge me...” He made a flourishing gesture, and the sound of the wait staff and the other patrons dulled and slowed. “We will go unheard now. It is as safe to ask as it can be.”
Your eyes flicked around the restaurant, taking in the altered noise. “Wow...That's really handy!”
“Your question?” He prompted.
“Oh right. Um. Were you really going to let them kill three and a half billion people?”
Yes that would be an important question to you. There was a fifty percent chance you would have been one of them.
“No.” He said frankly. “There's a reason that was a nightmare. That was the worst case scenario; what was likely to happen if all my planning went awry.”
“I mean, you could have died.”
“Unlikely. But it was something I included in my plans. That was the second worst case scenario.”
“Wait, wait. There was a scenario where winning was worse than death?”
“Yes, of course. Conquering your realm, but remaining under Thanos' boot would mean that all of my plans had failed, and I would never be free.”
“What exactly was the plan, anyway?”
“It's moot now.” He shrugged. “But a lot of it came down to control of the Mind Stone. It was caged within my scepter, and was what I used to control the Chitauri troops, as well as the handful of people I touched with it. I...was also being controlled, as Thanos exerted his influence over me through the stone. I was, on some level, aware of it, and everything I did on your realm was part of my plot to flout him. Defeat was acceptable to me, death was acceptable, but ideally, I would triumph.
I would have taken the realm with as little damage as possible. It was important to keep as much as I could intact, especially your weapons, your warriors, your resources. If everything had gone absolutely flawlessly, I would have defeated your Avengers, and added them to my army with the power of the Stone. With their power, their minds, their funds, I would have built defenses for the Earth, especially enhancing you space travel capabilities. I would have pulled hundreds of thousands of Chitauri troops in, and then cut them off from their mothership, leaving them solely under my control.
The Chitauri would then go into space, to patrol. This is when we would have begun building bases on your moon, and mining operations across your planetary system. All humans who were capable of it would be given basic military training, as everyone would have to be mobilized against outside threats, especially from Thanos. And he would have tried. Three of the Stones were here on Earth at that time; there is no way he would have let up.
Of course, I would have also gathered up all magically talented individuals for training, once I realized they existed. So I would have found you either way, my dear, even without this binding rune. And while I was raising your planet out of the galactic mud, I would have sent my brother to Asgard to take his place as king. Once enthroned, he would have allied Asgard, and the rest of the realms to Midgard, and under my banner, we would have purged the universe of Thanos, and all his allies. After that, I would have ruled your planet as a benevolent god. I would not have tolerated defiance, but I would have rewarded those who deserved it. No divisions by race or religion, or culture, or wealth. Merit would be all that mattered.
Ah, but that would have interfered with your precious 'freedoms', so it could not be allowed.” He sighed. “You throw celebrations for a royal wedding in a country you don't even live in, but you hate the idea of kings. Hypocritical nonsense. And more, you weren't even allowed to make your own decision about it. Some man in an underground bunker decided I could not be king, and so war was declared against me before I could even present my case.”
“You did murder a bunch of guys.” You pointed out.
“I did murder a bunch of guys.” Loki admitted. “Almost entirely combatants.”
“Almost?”
“The museum curator in Stuttgart was not technically a combatant. He was working for my enemies however so he was fair game.”
“Okay, gotta admit, you are sounding distressingly villainous right now.” You said it almost jokingly, but your soda glass shook a little in your hand.
“I did tell you I still had it in me, did I not? And you did ask. This is all just hypothetical of course, In reality, my neutral plan is the one that panned out. I was defeated, but not killed, and eventually, Thanos was overcome. And you and I met anyway, just a little later we might have, so perhaps the Norns interwove our strings in all their tapestries. We were always going to meet. So I will try to be less villainous, as I already was, but you will have to confront the fact that I have been truly nefarious, especially if you ask me about the times when I was.”
He cupped your shaking hand as you put your drink down.
“Yeah I guess if I'm gonna pry, I'd better be ready for what I find, huh? So you believe in fate, Loki?”
“The Norns weave the threads of each life into a vast work that forms the universe, and we can travel those threads in whatever way we see fit. But some knots they tie very tight, and those are hard to wiggle around. Most people can't, and even those who can, cannot escape them all. Some things simply must happen. I suppose that's...as close to a religion as Asgardians get.”
“Do the Norns really exist?” You asked. “Like, are they people you could meet? I mean, we used to think gods weren't real, solid people that you could meet, and yet, here you are.” You brushed your knuckles against his palm, sending little jolts of electric warmth down his spine. “Very solid.”
Loki cleared his throat. He wasn't supposed to be holding your hand. He would stop tomorrow.
“Uh, well, I've never seen them, but that does not mean they don't exist. As you've learned, a great deal of things that weren't supposed to exist actually do. Just as there is a great, wide universe beyond your Earth, There may be even more outside of that which is beyond even we Aesir.”
“Wow. Something beyond even you? I never thought you would admit such a thing!” Your voice was laced with sarcasm.
“I am clearly among the greatest men you have ever been privileged to meet, but yes. There are forces greater even than I.” Perhaps he was laying it on a bit thick, but it was better that you snorted at the pretentiousness, and turned your interest to the mysteries of the universe, rather than the things he had done. Or rather, would have done.
What would he have done, if things had gone entirely his way? Would he have found you after all? Certainly, once he'd found out there were humans that could use magic, he'd have had them all rounded up for training. But if there were very many, would he have noticed you?
Probably. You had such a knack for getting yourself in trouble. For curiosity. For poking at the core of him. Oh, he would have hated it. For he would have seen that you were a valuable asset and would not have brought you to harm, but you would have frustrated him greatly. You weren't disobedient exactly, just...mouthy.
It was a trait he simultaneously valued as a person, but despised as a ruler. He had liked it in his mother, he had liked it in Sif, he had even liked it in Jane Foster, and he...he liked it in you.
Yes, he likely would have kept you very close. Perhaps he would have made it his personal responsibility to correct you.
Oh, but he should definitely not be allowing his thoughts to wander down such a path.
He would stop tomorrow.
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technoplaguearchive · 6 years ago
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Cruel To Be Kind (1/4)
Midoriya just wants to help his long-time love interest get home, but gets a little more than he bargained for. Bakugou must come to terms with the fact that his way of dealing with stress isn’t working out and comes with some side-effects he hadn’t planned for. Both boys figure out that the only way through anything is honesty, with each other and themselves
Pairing: MidoriyaxBakugou / BakuDeku  Rating: Teen & Up Category: M/M Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Originally Published: 2019/03/30 on AO3 Chapter: 1 of 4
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Pulsing lights. Pulsing beats. Pulsing bodies.
Bodies everywhere.
Turn to the left; people. Turn to the right; more people.
Blood pumping in time with every beat.
This wasn’t something he was usually into, but desperate times had called for desperate measures. The house had been silent, empty. He couldn’t stand it anymore and had fled, ran right to his friends when they’d called. Their shock would make this night worth it, he rarely came out with them.
The last time they’d all gone out together had been over six months ago and they’d all drank so much that each had determined it was an awful idea. He, however, hadn’t minded it quite so much. With as stressed as heroing made him it wasn’t a bad respite, and it hadn’t messed with his work the next day.
After that, it had become a weekly thing, but he kept it confined to his own house; he drank on the nights he didn’t have to work the next day and he used the day off to recover from any after effects. Even his worst hangover hadn’t been too awful, at least based on what the others had told him of their numerous hangovers. The vomiting was minimal, and the headache was tolerable: years of dealing with the never-ending stress stupid Deku caused him had apparently given him some sort of tolerance, or at least raised his pain tolerance threshold (one could argue that as both a good and bad thing).
Tonight though- tonight he needed to be out. He needed the crush of people that he usually hated and the smell of sweat that wasn’t laced with nitroglycerin. His apartment had started getting claustrophobic and Kirishima had started calling him a hermit and threatening to bring people over; an effective threat since Bakugou hated the idea of those loud idiots in his place.
The club is packed as he makes his way through the entrance, people elbowing him and rubbing on him as he pushes his way further in. The text he received from Kirishima indicated they were in the small balcony near the back. Leave it to that crew to be extra when they went out. He can see the balcony tucked away in a corner and sure enough, there’s a crop of bright red hair he can spot a mile away. There’s a familiar pink puffball beside it that can only be Ashido Mina, which isn’t surprising. Kirishima hardly went anywhere in public without her, she was like his damn security blanket. He would have speculated long ago they were dating if he didn’t know them as well as he did. As it stood Kirishima preferred being single and Ashido didn’t seem like she was ready to settle either… in fact, Bakugou couldn’t recall ever actually seeing her with someone and he was sure she would have blown up their annoying group chat with pictures if she was with someone.
He takes the stairs two at a time up to the balcony, deliberately being loud to draw the attention of the crew of idiots he sometimes called his friends (not that he’d ever be caught dead saying that out loud- especially not within earshot of them). When he reaches the top he’s greeted with not a single damn one of them even looking in his direction. So much for the shock value of him actually showing up, they’d gone and blown that fucking plan out of the water. Assholes.
“Tch.”
Kaminari is the closest to the stairs and the first to hear Bakugou’s angry scoff, meaning Bakugou gets the pleasure of seeing the blonde’s face pale at the noise and his yellow eyes widen in a mix of half terror-half shock. Bakugou merely raises an eyebrow and cocks a hip against the stair railing as he watches Kaminari start flailing wildly and hitting his companions to get their attention; Kirishima gets a smack to the head, Sero gets a shoe to the ass, and Mina gets slapped on the back during the freakout.
Kirishima, blessed ray of sunshine that is almost always too bright for Bakugou to handle, is the first to turn around to see what the hell the electric blonde is panicking about. His eyes settle on the grumpy blonde at the stairs and that smile shoots upwards to its megawatt intensity. Bakugou chooses to ignore how Kirishima’s eyes rake over his body from toe to head as he smiles. Kirishima’s little crush was known throughout the group and Bakugou was always glad that the red headed idiot never tried to pressure him. Kirishima wasn’t a bad guy, but there was no room for romance in making it to the top hero spot.
“Bakubro! You showed up! Wow!” His huge smile is blindly bright up close, causing Bakugou to squint as Kirishima wraps his huge arms around him. Five seconds of it is all Bakugou can take before he’s working his hands between them to push the other man away with a grunt. Kirishima, however, takes it in stride and spins around to beam that smile at the rest of the group. “Look, Ashido! Bakugou showed up! You were totally right.”
Ashido’s knowing look causes Bakugou to growl in her direction, a noise that’s drowned out in the already thumping bass pulsing through the club. “Of course, he came, sweetie. We asked nicely after all. Even Bakugou can’t stay away from us forever- “she shoots him another sly look that has his eyebrow twitching “-no matter how much he pretends he can.”
The effect is near instantaneous and predictable; Bakugou leaps across the small space with a finger in her face, steam all but pouring from his ears. “Listen, you little pink shit. I’ll show up whenever and wherever I damn well please. Keep your conspiracy theories out of my life.” For effect he jabs his finger against her nose then backs off, taking up his spot against the railing by the stairs once more. Ashido scrunches her nose at the feeling then shoots him a smile full of teeth, leaning back into a small table behind her. She’s not wrong but damned if he was going to admit it.
They’d all managed to stay in touch since UA and no matter how much he tried to ignore the group he always ended up back around them. The ‘BakuSquad’, as they called themselves, stuck together through it all. And while openly he admonished their stupidity, secretly he was at least a little glad they hadn’t abandoned him because of his personality. Kirishima, bless his big ass heart, to this day still was his self-proclaimed best friend and the one who always asked him to do things with the group. They all knew Kirishima was the only one who could laugh off Bakugou’s bad attitude.
Kirishima latches an arm behind Bakugou’s neck and pulls him in for a side-hug. Bakugou does his best not to blow the other male up, barely managing to hold in an explosion only because he knew the club would probably boot him for it. Kirishima flashes him another huge grin and then throws an arm into the air with a shout, causing the blonde to wince and glare. “The gang’s all here! Let’s get this party started!” He releases Bakugou in order to round up the rest of their squad, pulling everyone into a side-hug as he ushers them towards the stairs. Suddenly he stops and turns to address everyone with an air of unusual seriousness. “No one’s on deck tomorrow, right,” he asks with a somber face. Bakugou resists the urge to chuckle at the look, opting instead to smirk as everyone shakes their heads in an affirmation that no, they all indeed had off tomorrow. Kirishima’s resulting triumphant grin is infectious. “Perfect,” he yells, almost too loud, ���then let’s go drink!”
He watches his four friends file down the stairs and start pushing towards the bar, opting to stay behind and take his rightful place in the corner seat of the balcony. It had the best view of the club and he could watch the door too. Kirishima had given him hell last time about taking the spot but once Bakugou gave him ‘the look’ he’d quieted right down. Ashido’s obnoxious pink hair and horns make her the easiest to track in the crowd, easier to see than even Kirishima’s tall circus he called hair. Most of the crowd seems to part easily to let the heroes through, some knowing who they are and others just moving due to the confident air the group exuded. Separately they were all nutcases, but together even Bakugou had to admit they looked like a formidable bunch.
Seeing them safely at the bar, he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. Red eyes scan the crowd with focused scrutiny, looking for any potential troublemakers, but seeing everything relatively calm he settles back into his seat and pulls his phone out, slouching down and bringing the device up to glare directly into his retinas. Recovery Girl had yelled at him in school about holding his phone so close, but he didn’t care; it kept most everyone out of his face.
His phone shows six e-mails, four unread text messages, one missed call (probably his old hag of a mother), and fifteen group chat messages.
“Haaa?!”
That log had been empty when he got in here, he had made sure of it. That meant those idiots were chatting through it AT THE FUCKING BAR. He cuts a glare around the phone screen to get a glimpse of the bar, confirming all four idiots had their faces also buried in their phones. Had they even picked up drinks?
Growling low he taps to open the messenger app to see what all the fuss is about. The messages are steadily rolling in, punctuated by pictures that are taking forever to load. He scrolls to the top of the newest messages and starts reading through, curious to see what they found so intriguing that it interrupted their night.
Six messages and one screenshot later he wishes he hadn’t looked; Stupid. Fucking. Deku. That idiot was on his way to the club as well, if the screenshot from Ashido was true. She had invited him earlier in the night and he had just confirmed an hour ago that he would ‘try to make it out’. Bakugou was wishing he wouldn’t try and would just not show up. He didn’t need the stress of dealing with the green haired freckled idiot’s mumbling and staring. He wasn’t dressed right to be seen by- Whoa, no, stop that right fucking there. He just didn’t need to deal with Deku, period. End of story.
Growling to himself he taps out a response in the chat;
‘Get the fuck back here with my drink and stop mooning over broccoli-head.’
The response from Kirishima is an immediate wink-emoji followed by ‘You know I only have eyes for you, Bakubro.’
Bakugou rolls his eyes and stuffs his phone into his pocket without responding. No need to encourage Kirishima’s flirting, he got enough as it was.
He can see Kirishima now pushing his way back through the crowd and is met with the red head’s shining eyes minutes later. Kirishima squats down in front of Bakugou as a servant would and offers him the drink; some colorful concoction that looked tasty (not that Bakugou would say that out loud, no need to ruin his contrarian image). A softly spoken ‘tch’ is all Kirishima gets as Bakugou scoops the drink away and takes a sip.
Shit tasted as colorful as it looked.
Bakugou shoots Kirishima a look over the rim of the glass, eyes hard. “You did good, hair for brains. Nice job.”
Kirishima’s answering smile is all teeth and he jumps from his spot on the ground to cheer. He does some weird shimmy-dance that Bakugou won’t admit he follows with his eyes. Look, Kirishima wasn’t totally awful looking and Bakugou did have eyes…. he just also didn’t have time for dating but that didn’t mean he didn’t LOOK sometimes.
As if catching it despite Bakugou trying to be subtle, Kirishima’s eyes glint and he reaches a hand towards his friend. “Wanna come dance with me? I know you’re gonna get moody when Midoriya shows up and- “
There was the downside to Kirishima; he couldn’t keep his mouth closed.
Bakugou growls at him and bares his teeth. “Don’t you dare fucking talk like Deku has any control over my life.”
Kirishima’s hands shoot up in surrender and he backs off. Honestly, he should’ve known better but the idiot never THOUGHT. Now he would sit here angry all night.
Everyone always swooned over Deku. It hadn’t changed in all their years together and Bakugou could not understand the overwhelming appeal. Sure, his dumb round face was kind of adorable and his muttering was occasionally endearing… but that was it. And how was it that everyone was drawn to him? There wasn’t a single person Bakugou knew that didn’t immediately run to Deku like he was the world’s greatest thing.
Kirishima is still staring at Bakugou with those big dumb sad eyes, so Bakugou relents and shrugs. “‘S whatever. Just shut up about fucking Deku.”
The redhead bobs his head quickly in affirmation and grins, knowing he’s forgiven. “So, do you want to come dance with me?”
There’s a hopeful glint in his eyes that Bakugou wants to ignore but can’t. When they were still in school, he would have been able to but the years had seen his attitude diminish to being able to be around people without biting their heads off- and as always Kirishima had always been an exception. His thick skin apparently also protected his feelings; he had never seemed to get too hurt at what the angry blonde said and had never taken his threats seriously.
“Tch. Yeah fine, whatever” he relents, tossing back the rest of the shitty colorful concoction in one large swig. Ugh, gross. But at least it was gone and now he could move on to something different. He sets the glass down and rises to his feet to peg Kirishima with a stare. “Get me something stronger and I’ll meet you down there with the idiots.”
Kirishima is visibly eager to please as he rushes down the stairs and pushes through the crowd, causing Bakugou to smirk. He could probably get the other male to bark like a dog if he asked with enough conviction. Eh, maybe another time. For now, he’d settle with the redhead being his drink-gofer and dancing partner….and maybe when Deku showed up he’d bounce before he had the chance to see everyone go gaga over the freckled jackass.
~~~~~~
The night sees him actually enjoying time with the group despite his outward protestations. Kirishima has jumped to get him drinks the three other times he’s asked, Deku has yet to show up, Ashido has all but draped herself over Sero (no surprise there,) and Kaminari is hitting on everything that is even mildly attractive (also not a surprise).
What is surprising is Ashido sauntering back into their balcony retreat an hour later with shots balanced in her hands and one, somehow, grasped between her teeth.
“I’m not drinking that one, I don’t know what your lips have been all over tonight.”
After Mina dislodges the glass, she gives him a wink and a sultry smile. “Aw sweetie, you’re just jealous they haven’t been all over you.”
Tiny explosions start popping in his hands at her words as he all but yells, “What did you just say to me, you bubblegum haired alien?!”
Kirishima jumps to grab his hands and keep him away from their friend. “She was joking, Bakugou! You know she was joking!”
With a huff, the angry blonde turns away and crosses his arms across his chest effectively tucking his hands away from causing a disaster. This seems to pacify Kirishima whose smile looks close to fracturing from the stress of having to manage the human equivalent of dynamite, both in personality and quirk. Bakugou isn't stupid though; he knows blowing shit up would get them kicked out and he's not going down that road again. There's already a string of boring-ass coffee shops that won't let him, or any of his group, back in due to him exploding several coffee cups after a stressful day and the baristas fucking his order up cause they were too busy staring or giggling.
Ashido’s snicker only infuriates the angry blonde more, causing him to step towards her with the intent to give her a blast to the face. He’s halted in his tracks by Kirishima’s hands against his chest, the large male physically blocking his advance towards their friend. When Bakugou looks up to question him all he can see is Kirishima’s smile, sharp teeth on full display. “Chill out, man. Lemme go get you another drink and you just- just relax, yeah?”
Kirishima is already backing away to the stairs by the time he’s done speaking. Bakugou wants to question the movement because the redhead didn’t even give him a chance to answer and just decided for him, something Bakugou isn’t overly fond of. Did he want another drink? Fuck yes. But he wanted a choice in the matter and not Kirishima running to grab one to pacify the situation. Bakugou rolls his eyes instead of snapping at his friend. “Sure, whatever. Not that colorful shit again though. Get me something strong.”
Kirishima nods enthusiastically as he bounds down the stairs and darts through the crowd slow with more agility than Bakugou knew he possessed outside of stopping villains and saving people. Color him mildly impressed. He’d be more impressed though when he saw what Kirishima brought back.
With his number one fan now out of the way, Bakugou takes up his seat again and snatches two shot glasses from the table Ashido had deposited them on. The first one down his throat burns. The second shot to go down doesn’t burn any less but it’s more pleasant now that he’s expecting it, however, that doesn’t stop the grimace that spreads across his lips as he swallows. No one could ever accuse him of liking the taste, not when his face gave away how he felt. No, Bakugou Katsuki drank to unwind. To forget. To stop being himself. To get out of his head for a few hours. And it always worked, right until the next morning when the alcohol was gone, and he had to sit there and contemplate swallowing more liquid fire or just drinking water and pretending like he didn’t hate himself.
Ashido’s voice floats by in a buzz, yapping away about a recent rescue she’d done and how she got to save a cute guy. Bakugou wasn’t paying too much attention anymore, instead letting his gaze wander aimlessly across the dance floor as he contemplated how much he could drink before the group left.
By his calculation, he’d have to stop sending Kirishima for drinks after this one or the redhead would get nosey and start up on his spiel of him maybe having a problem. He’d only had…. What, five so far tonight? Okay, maybe six if he counted the two shots as separate. And none of them had been particularly strong, props to Kirishima not knowing good shit from mediocre. The guy wasn’t a drinker and usually went with whatever the bartender suggested…. which was usually less hard liquor but cost more for being ’pretty’.
Kaminari flops unceremoniously down beside him and nudges his shoulder, jolting Bakugou from his reverie and earning a glare. Kaminari takes the glare in stride, more than used to it by now, and grins. He wiggles an eyebrow in Bakugou’s direction and jerks his head off in the direction Kirishima ran off to. “So, you gonna keep dragging Kiri around or are you actually considering dating him?” At Bakugou’s scoff and eye roll, Kaminari turns the jovial expression to one akin the look of a parent dealing with a naughty child. “Stop fucking with him, Bakugou. The guy likes you and will fall over himself to please you. You’re leading him on.”
This wasn’t a new conversation between them. Since high school, this had been a reoccurring issue that never ended up resolved. Bakugou wasn’t intentionally leading Kirishima on. Plain and simple; Kirishima knew Bakugou didn’t feel that way towards him yet he kept acting the same way, Bakugou knew Kirishima liked him and didn’t treat him any differently than he did before he knew. Their arrangement worked out.
“Shut up, Dunceface.”
“What are we talking about?”
Kirishima’s cheery voice cuts through and Bakugou is left wondering how long he’d been standing that close and how much had he heard. Hopefully, he hadn’t heard much, Bakugou didn’t think he could stand Kirishima’s pouty face if he had.
“Not shit. Mind your business you shark-toothed fuck.” The glare Kaminari shoots Bakugou is nothing short of withering but the angry blonde ignores it in favor of squinting at the drink Kirishima holds in his hand. “What’d ya get me?”
Kirishima blushes a little and shyly holds up the cup full of brown unassuming liquid. “I asked the bartender and they said it was Jack & Coke? It smells awful” he explains, wrinkling his nose in memory of the smell.
The entire group startles as Bakugou leaps for the glass and all but rips it from Kirishima’s hands. His lips close around the glass greedily and he starts swallowing in big gulps, eager to get the liquor into his system. So eager, in fact, that he doesn't hear Kirishima mentioning who he found at the bar or the newcomer watching him with wide worried eyes.
It's not until he sets the glass down half-empty that he realizes everyone is staring at him warily. It's a look similar to what one would give a wild animal they weren't sure would bite or flee. Lips tugging into a snarl he rounds on the group, “The fuck you looking at me for, assholes?”
A small, too familiar hand raises meekly from behind Kirishima in a half wave and Bakugou has all of two seconds to process who the green haired shortstack is stepping out from behind his overly large red headed friend.
Fuck. That was what the staring was for.
Bakugou drops back into his seat, a little too hard, and raises unsteady hands to rub his face. Okay maybe he’d drank that last one too fast. Because shitty Deku was standing there and when did he fucking get there and why was stuff  blurring at the edges and was Kirishima whispering? He swats a hand in Kirishima’s direction, grateful the other man understands when he hauls him to his suddenly unsteady feet. He had to get the fuck out of here, he didn’t want to deal with stupid Deku. That had been the plan; get out before Midoriya showed up and ruined everything.
Halfway down the stairs- when had he made the conscious decision to leave?- he realizes blearily he has a green haired follower. He picks up his pace as much as he can without stumbling and tries to lose the other man in the crowd. A girl dancing catches his eye and closes in on him, drink in her hand the only thing Bakugou has eyes for. He lets her in close then snatches it away, downing it in one large gulp and then spinning himself away to get lost in the crowd once more. The bright side is he can’t see Midoriya’s green hair anywhere now and that’s enough to ease the anxiety that had been slowly building in his chest since he noticed the freckled little freak upstairs.
So he lets his guard down and makes a wiggly beeline for the bar to grab another drink before he extricates himself from the situation.
One more shot. One more drink.
So what if he was realizing his vision was a little hazy at the edges now? So what if he may or may not be using the bar to keep himself from swaying a little right now? He’d be done after this next drink anyways and all would be okay. He wasn’t even as drunk as he usually got on nights off so this really wasn’t even a huge deal- or so he thought.
The bartender hands him his drink in exchange for cash and then motions behind him. Thinking he needed to move out of the way, and seriously fuck the bartender for telling him to move like that, he turns around on unsteady feet only to look down into a pair of vibrant green eyes set in grim determination.
“Fuck.”
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twodrunkencelestials · 6 years ago
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The Loneliness Waltz
This is a little piece about a Dresden Files character I played for several years. There's a little bit about him on my blog, if anyone cares to peek. Either way, I thought a lot about how well Antares arc went and how well it fit into the Magnus 'verse. Thus, this was born with a lot of chatting to @archetypal-archivist!
If you wanna hear more about Antares in his own canon or this au? I'm always up for talking about Antares. He's my angsty boy. :)
The shifting over from my word program ate all of my italics though, sadly. I may use them a bit too often, though...
*****
He's always been good at being alone. Friends lessened his tolerance over time, their kindness almost a sting, even when he hadn't embraced his god.
But when his mother died, and when his brother cried, all his tears just stopped. He felt the creeping cold. Needed it, understood why his mother and grandfather loved it so all of a sudden.
She was a cold woman, but raised him to be clever and silver-tongued. Raised him with only the rarest of hugs or forehead kisses. Even so, he quickly learned how she displayed what affection she did have for her sons, wild and Hunt prone as both were. Her praise, sparsely given, but never withheld. Touches, cold, mere pats on the head or back, an awkward copy of proper parental affection. Antares heart burst all the same whenever she did so.
Her voice though, one of the gifts passed to her sons, was her most precious way of delivering love. Lullabies and songs, always sounding far away, like the sweet lure of sirens in the fog. Never to their faces, but always from outside, or just down the hall.
His grandfather was a harsher man, quieter. While his mother relied on her charm and distant affection to lure in suitors to feed to the fog, his grandfather used quiet. A man of the seas, of large studies and gazes that never seemed to notice.
He smiled at Antares once, and a thrill went through the child's heart. The pride he could see in the tilt of the eyes and small pleased twist of the mouth had driven him to flush, feel warmth instead of the chill that was making the older man proud.
You see, Antares had been outside, by himself, his brother's rejection that afternoon more of a sting then usual. So he had wandered, through the trees toward the lake on their property that bled into the sea.
It was quiet, the few household staff not allowed out this far for fear they might end up Lost. The children, more free to wander, were. It was uncommon, the water and air here a bane and lure all the same.
Today, it was a lure that reminded him of his mother's lullabies.
When fog rolled in, he didn't know. He only noticed when the silence around him was so absolute that he could hear his heart begin to pound wildly.
Everything felt like a distant dream, washing away the hot anger that burned in his belly until it was only a calm tide.
Alone, alone, alone.
But he was okay with that. The quiet in his head settled the anxieties. It was...freeing.
Hours later, it was his brother's voice that disturbed his calm rest by the lake. Apologies and gentle pats. Affection that suddenly felt too much.
But he accepted the touches, the sun-bright smiles and jokes.
"I forgive you." He told Pleiades, own smile smaller, a bit tired.
His brother had looked at him, and seemed to suddenly know something, in that way only big brothers seemed to.
"We'll take you to talk to grandfather. He'll want to hear about your trip."
Antares didn't fully understand what he meant, but agreed. Found himself tired enough for an offer to be carried.
He accepted Pleiades help, for his brother was older, several years into his teens by now. Strong enough to carry him home.
***
"He found himself Lost, grandfather. But look!"
Antares was gently set down, on a sofa, by larger arms then his brother's. An adult's. Grandfather Patrick's.
"Hush, my boy." The senior directed at Pleiades, "He will need rest. But I'm glad he survived his first ordeal. Thank you for your help, Lance. You may go."
Antares wanted to stir, to jump up and ask why the other name was being used. It was a rarity, a treat, to be called something other then their star-given names.
Pleiades seemed to notice it too, and squeaked, utterly undignified for once. "Thank you, sir!"
Antares did not hear the door close, nor the feet scamper away, just the gentle words of the elder, and a cold hand holding his.
"Sleep, my boy, and we will speak when you awaken. I have many things to tell you."
Grandfather actually sounded proud, sounded gentle. Antares' eyes refused to open and he slept dreamlessly.
***
When he awoke, it was late. Dark outside, with the sun fading away. The fire was lit, a warmth that felt too strong after this afternoon.
Almost as soon as he stirred, he heard,
"Ah, Riley, you're up. Good. We have much to speak on."
Riley. Now he was getting middle-named? The curl of satisfaction in the tone, though, calmed any fears instantly.
"...what about, grandfather?"
The silence lasted longer then Antares would have liked, something drawn out tight. An answer being further considered. It gave him enough time to stand up, wobbly, but enough to walk over to the looming desk of the head of the family.
"It seems you have finally had a brush with our God, Riley, and you survived. Embraced it, from that chill you seem to have. I am so proud of you."
Proud. Antares was thrilled. He didn't really understand what he'd done, but that didn't really matter. To make man who so often passed over everyone proud?
"I-I don't really understand, not..."
Antares trailed off, suddenly sure he had ruined things. Sure he had nothing to add to that wreck of a sentence. He breathed, to remember this afternoon, and spoke.
"It was cold, foggy, but...calm. It...it hushed everything, grandpa Patrick, the world, my words, Pleiades' words. All quiet. All peaceful. So alone."
The older man's eyes were practically sparkling, sharp and pleased, looking too closely at Antares' edges.
"That, child, was the Lonely. Our God. And you seemed to have pleased it. Not with fear, but with your acceptance. Your mother will be very pleased too."
"The Lonely?" Antares tested the word out, and found it pleasing on his tongue, like the delicate chill of the dark chocolate mints his mother so loved.
"Please tell me more, grandpa Patrick."
So Patrick did, revealing only what a child could comprehend. The history, the very basics of the Powers, and the how's. He had left out a lot, things that needed to be discovered on ones own. 
Those, Antares figured out as an adult, under the worst of circumstances.
The first piece of advice the man had given, "Feed that which feeds you" was hard for a child to fully grasp. It was hard for an adult to fully embrace.
Antares did not fully get it, not until after.
Where he had embraced the Lonely in the aftermath of his mother's death- in the face of his mother's beatific smile- Pleiades, on the same knife's edge as Antares, embraced the Hunt.
It was with his help, and with Antares' friends that they'd tracked down the two who had done this.
The affection he felt for his brother, for his friends was duller now, felt too cold compared to their blazing fires. Antares, irrationally,  just had the urge to snip those lines between them and gorge himself on the aftermath. But no, he held back. He needed them, for now at least.
It was hard for one avatar to properly kill another. Several teaming up, though, was an entirely different tale, and one Antares liked the ending of.
An end it was, too. For him and his friends, for him and his mother, for the two who had dared to try to come down on his house and his blood.
It was oddly satisfying, snipping all those cords. After all, he didn't need them any more.
They couldn't feel the cut; they thought themselves still his friend in the aftermath. Useful, indeed, for the future.
He kept two though, one, Pleiades, for the sake of mother and blood. It was too warm now, but he could tolerate it. Use it to feed the Lonely. Keep it like a dull ache, as a stark reminder.
The other, to Alphonse. A love, one sided and a bitter wine to his tongue. A sweet delight for a god. A lure to sacrifices. Suckers liked a good sob story of failed romance in the midst of a creeping reminder just how lonely they were.
People liked broken, and he could play the wounded animal, like his mother before him.
***
The first person he went after was the man he could technically call father. An actor that his mother had actually fallen for, as much as she even could. They had one child, him, before it soured.
She was too cold, he was too hot, too opposite to properly last. Divorce, and a nice settlement for him to keep his mouth shut and his hands off any of the child-rearing business. 
Antares knew that this man still loved his mother, despite himself.
So, Antares delivered the news on a friday afternoon, just before the man had an evening show. Left him lonely, filled with regret and shame.
The show that he went on to do, despite the maelstrom of emotions, was the best he had ever given. Called his best to date by those there and those not.
That was not what had been seen from the stage, though, not by his father.
Everyone had disappeared, left him to his misery. The actor had put in everything, each regret and tear and fear he had in his soul. The loss rang clear and Antares loved every second. Drank it in like a fine wine.
It was a shame what would happen after.
The man disappeared on his way home, vanished into the foggy night never to be seen or heard from again.
It left a God well fed, and a son left with one less tie to humanity.
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heyomag · 5 years ago
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‘Girly Mags’ Takes Us on Stroll Down 90s and 00s Memory Lane
Instagram feed curates the best from teen magazines from the 1990s and early 2000s featuring Paris Hilton, LeeLee Sobieski and more.
Though I was probably too young to really grasp what it meant, when I was younger, and when the house was empty, I would sneak into my older sister’s room, lie in her bed and stare at the poster of Luke Perry she had ripped from the pages of Teen Beat (or something similar) and pinned to her ceiling. Never one for Sports Illustrated, I was always more intrigued by what salacious news was circulating the teen atmosphere.
After studying the pages of Tiger Beat, I would have hour-long internal debates as to whether I agreed with their conclusion that J.T.T. was indeed dreamier than Devon Sawa.
The life of a pre-pubescent boy (deep in the closet) in the 90s is something worth romanticizing.
But Girly Mags IG feed provides that trip down memory lane so many of us have been longing for in these shitty times. Girly Mag gives us that warm and fuzzy feeling that only ‘90s and Early 00’s Nostalgia��� can provide. It brings us back to a simpler time, albeit less convenient time, of ordering clothes from a glossy magazine page through the US mail and sharing an actual page with friends, rather than sharing a meme through DMs. 
I’m thrilled that the girls behind Girly Mags have grown up to create their own media company complete with a podcast, awesome music playlists and Patreon. The podcast is basically a group of friends sitting around discussing the mags through the lense of grown-ass women (and men). Read the latest episode description below to get hooked and check out their latest episode here.
COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE NOVEMBER 1994 This bittersweet episode marks the end of an era. Lauren Prussky, AKA editor extraordinaire and Girly Mags loudmouth is on to greener pastures. But don’t fret – this episode is full of bangers, sing-a-longs, tears and tons of laughs, with a few freaky surprises along the way. We’re heading back to the time of holey jeans, 1-900 numbers and catty celebrity feuds of the ‘90s. Jump in the Girly Mags whip for another ride around the nostalgia block – this episode is one for the books!
IN THIS ISSUE
This Month in History – November 1994
Agony – Hotline Bling + Old Wrinkly Balls
Hollywood Babble On – Celebrity Deathmatch
The Surprising Things Men Find Sexy
When Straight Women Marry Gay Men
Quiz: Are You Ready for Romance?
OK, BACK TO INSTAGRAM:
Admittedly, not all posts resonate with this Queer 30-somethings Cis Male but we do think a few posts needed to be highlighted in order to properly pay tribute to the feed and mags of yesteryear.
LeeLee Sobieski did no wrong
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 Me vs me after watching Thirteen in 2003 @evanrachelwood @nikkireed YES I KNOW IT’S LEELEE SOBIESKI
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 12, 2019 at 3:38pm PST
Body Glitter < SPF
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 Don’t forget the roll-on body glitter ❄💎✨ (Via @doyoulovethe2000s)
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 10, 2019 at 1:57pm PST
Sassy  Magazine
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 ❄⛸🧤 (Sassy, November 1994) #tbt #throwbackthursday 📷 by @georgeholzofficial
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 7, 2019 at 10:46am PST
Oh God
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 BREAKING NEWS: EMO SCENE KIDS (2007) rawr XD 🦖
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 6, 2019 at 12:30pm PST
Was a thing for a minute
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 HIT CLIPS (1999)
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 5, 2019 at 5:14pm PST
Forever roaming
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 Everyone in 2001 when the clock hit 9:00pm 🕘
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 4, 2019 at 5:18pm PST
Wuz ^?
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 ☆ weLcOme 2 My HoMePaGe ☆
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 4, 2019 at 12:08pm PST
Prom Makeovers
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 Prom makeovers 💅👑 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (Seventeen, March 1995) Follow @girly.mags for all your ’90s needs!
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Nov 3, 2019 at 9:59am PST
Scratch and sniff clothing
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 Scratch ‘n sniff pajamas and glow-in-the-dark undies 💀⚰️ (Girlfriends LA, 1996-1999)
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Oct 16, 2019 at 6:57pm PDT
Still <3 Paris Hilton
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 Wow same tbh
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Oct 5, 2019 at 1:42pm PDT
Roller Skates or Roller blades?
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 Would you date someone who rollerblades, 👍 or 👎 (Seventeen, August 1991)
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Oct 3, 2019 at 12:49pm PDT
Skeet Ulrich – enough said.
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 Enjoy this recap of the season 6 90210 Thanksgiving episode featuring Cameron Bancroft AKA Joe Bradley AKA Donna’s post-Ray Pruitt hunky meathead 🏈 Joe is a California University football team quarterback who dates Donna Martin. On the night of their first date on Halloween, Donna was confronted at her beach house by Ray Pruit, her former abusive boyfriend with whom she had recently ended her relationship. Joe came to her defense, tossing Ray around like a football in self-defense. During Thanksgiving, which happens to be Joe’s birthday, Donna arranges for 49ers QB Steve Young to surprise Joe. Because Young apparently could skip practice that day and also had no family or friends he wanted to spend the holiday with, he actually showed up to Casa Walsh and played an impromptu game with the gang on the front lawn using the football he autographed for Joe. In the same episode, Donna tells Kelly that she loves Joe so much, she wants to sleep with him. Joe later revealed to Donna that he was also a virgin and, like her, was waiting for marriage to have sex. He had also been engaged to his high school girlfriend, who had gotten too wild for him after they graduated. He was a devout Christian who lived a life of faith. He asks Donna to move to Beaver Falls with him after being diagnosed with a heart defect (by Donna’s dad) and the two part ways. (Seventeen, November 1996)
A post shared by Girly Mags Podcast (@girly.mags) on Sep 30, 2019 at 3:10pm PDT
For those of you not as interested in pursuing teen year through digitized Girly Mags feed, check out the On Foot Archives featuring some Eastbay Catalog clippings and much more!
The post ‘Girly Mags’ Takes Us on Stroll Down 90s and 00s Memory Lane appeared first on HEYO Mag.
from HEYO Mag https://heyomag.com/girly-mags-takes-us-on-stroll-down-90s-and-00s-memory-lane/
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folightening · 6 years ago
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I swear we've briefly met before
Summary: This Loqi Tummelt Lunafreya had set him up with looked awfully familiar, but Ravus couldn't quite figure out where he'd seen him before.
Ravus/Loqi - Final Fantasy XV 
Characters: Ravus, Lunafreya, Loqi, mentions others
Rated Teen
Words: 2278
*****
A week ago, Lunafreya had set him up on a date. Ravus had no intention of going; he'd told her as much. Yet here he was, riding with her to meet some Loqi Tummelt she swore would be a good match for him. After her previous failures at finding him a date he was astounded she was trying again. Even if two of those failures were now a friends of his. One of which also thought Loqi would be a good match.
"Lunafreya," Ravus said. "You said this Loqi Tummelt is a friend of Prompto's, and Aranea knows him as well. How did you come to the conclusion that we ought to date?"
"Just trust me. I know what I'm doing."
"That is what you said the previous five times."
"This time, I definitely know."
Against his better judgement, he'd trust hers again this time.
"If this does not work out, no more setting up dates for me."
"Promise me you'll try." Lunafreya glanced at him. "Aranea worked out fine."
"Aranea worked out fine because we established that I am a homosexual before the date was half over."
It had never occurred to him that he might be until he'd met her. She had helped him figure out something important about himself and now two years later, they were close friends. Aranea was arguably the closest friend he had.
"Ravus."
"I will try. You didn't find this one through that app I regret downloading."
That hadn't stopped one of the others from being a failure, but it was still preferable. Four times, he'd met someone off that accursed app. Three of those times had been utter failure due to being incompatible with those men. Obviously, the app did not work as it claimed to.
A few minutes later they pulled in to the restaurant. Luna parked and pulled out her phone, quickly sending a text. A few moments later she giggled.
"'Traffic's being a bitch, so I might be late.'" Luna turned and looked at Ravus. "You want to wait inside or out here?"
"Unless you plan to show me a picture, I'm waiting right here. You may introduce us."
"Fine," she sighed and started typing again.
Lunafreya had forbidden him from doing any research and Aranea was on her side, refusing to tell him anything helpful about Loqi. He had been told on numerous occasions that he was too quick to judge people, but that hardly seemed a good reason to keep him in the dark with this one.
"Couldn't you give me some information about him? You knowing him is not enough."
"He's a cute, extroverted, dirty blond Niff from a rich family. Early twenties, five-seven, and you're not getting anything more from me." Lunafreya smiled. "Talk to him and get to know him."
She seemed awfully determined with this one. Aside from Aranea, the previous five hadn't gotten quite the same amount of pushing for it from her. Thinking about it, Aranea had seemed a little eager for it as well. Perhaps this set up date wasn't just for him?
"You really think Loqi is the one for me."
"Perhaps. Though I was wrong about Ignis."
"He and I could have worked had he not been an uptight analytical psychologist with a tendency of judging people and- We're too similar for a romance to work out."
Ignis had agreed, though they remained friends.
"I still think it could have if either of you had been willing to give it some time."
She was probably right. Given time, they could have formed something akin to romance. Maybe.
"He isn't my type."
Lunafreya snorted and Ravus scowled.
"You know what your type is?" The doubtful look she gave him stung slightly. "Why didn't you ever tell me? That would have made this much easier."
"I have only a vague idea- nothing definite enough to tell you about."
Some hard thinking and a late night spent scrolling a site he'd never visited again had shown him what sort of man he found attractive, as well as reinforced the conclusion that he is indeed homosexual. That hardly helped him know what he was looking for personality-wise. Which was far more important and why he hadn't bothered telling her any of his findings.
The rest of the wait was in silence. It wasn't a long wait, just ten minutes before a young man with dirty blond hair was walking over. He was pretty cute: youth clung to his cheeks, full pink lips were curved into a slight frown, and his side-swept styled hair only added to his attractiveness. There was also something familiar about him, like Ravus had briefly interacted with him before at a store or something.
"There he is," Lunafreya confirmed Ravus' suspicions.
They both got out of the car, Loqi and Lunafreya greeting each other with wide smiles. Then Loqi turned to Ravus and extended a hand.
"My name is Loqi Tummelt."
Ravus shook the extended hand but didn't match the smile.
"Ravus Nox Fleuret."
"Let's go."
Loqi turned and Ravus followed, telling himself he wasn't nervous. He'd been on enough dates to not be nervous. So what if this young man was familiar? If he was undeniably attractive? Ravus was not the sort to allow things like that to affect him.
Fortunately they were soon sitting by a window. He much preferred sitting by a window when eating out. It helped him feel less crowded even with all the noise reminding him how many other people were in the restaurant.
Also fortunately, Loqi was happy to fill the space between them with chatter. Mostly about himself, perhaps too eagerly. Ravus looked over the menu as he listened to Loqi's 'here's why you should be interested in me' speech.
"What do you do?"
Ravus raised a brow at Loqi's abrupt change in subject. The man knew Lunafreya, surely he knew what her brother did.
"I assist Lunafreya with running our family's company."
These days, he might as well be the CEO but until Lunafreya fully settled on her new path in life, that title would remain hers.
"Hobbies?"
None that he would tell a stranger about.
"What I do with my free time is irrelevant."
Loqi laughed, a nice sound that had Ravus almost smiling in response.
"What you do with your free time is very relevant."
He leaned forward over the table and Ravus was certain he'd seen that expression before. Though with the small smirk and half-lidded eyes he couldn't think of a single moment such an expression had been directed at him.
"If your free time is as busy as your work, how are we to spend time together?"
"Aren't you the confident one." Ravus leaned forward as well, a small smirk of his own tugging at his lips. "I can yet decide you are not worth any more of my time."
Usually his personality was one of the things people cited as a reason they didn't want to be near him. Arrogant, cold, closed-off, judgemental, just plain mean... all words people had used to describe him. So it came as a pleasant surprise when Loqi didn't pull back and leave.
"Oh, I promise I'm worth it. Just give me the chance to show you."
Truth be told, he was already liking Loqi.
"Are you ready to place your order?"
Ravus broke eye contact first to look at the waiter and place his order. For Ravus, a medium rare steak with a salad on the side. Loqi decided on a cheeseburger with fries.
"Earlier," Ravus said, "you said you were taking classes for engineering."
"It's something I've always had an interest in. If I make a career out of it, I can do something I enjoy and help people. Everyone benefits."
That dedication was admirable. Ravus had never had any particular interests to follow and make a career out of. Just make Mother proud and don't fail. ...Maybe Lunafreya had a point.
"How are the classes going?"
"They're going fine, 'Daddy'."
Loqi chuckled and reached across the table to tap him on the nose. Something about the action flustered Ravus but Loqi continued before he could express any of it.
"We're on a date here. Shouldn't you be asking about things other than my classes?"
Expressing an interest in his date's academics didn't strike Ravus as an odd thing to do.
"If our relationship continues after this first date, your academics will be of interest to me."
"I've a GPA of 3.7 and pulled more all-nighters than I can remember. That satisfactory?"
It was better than what Lunafreya's current boyfriend had. Not that Lunafreya's boyfriend had stayed in college, but... that comparison wasn't important now. Ravus nodded, unsure how to continue the conversation.
"What about you?"
"4.0, recently graduated."
Loqi whistled and once again Ravus was almost certain they had briefly met before. Something about his mouth... Or maybe that was just Ravus being interested in him.
"Perfect honor student, huh? A degree in business?"
"What makes you assume that?"
"You are one of the CEOs of the Oracle Company. If you're anything like your sister, you don't have that position just by blood."
Technically, he did. He just didn't want that to be the only reason he held the postion. He wanted to prove he was good enough. That his mother hadn't been wrong in naming him as the joint heir of the company with Lunafreya.
"Enough of that, though. How do you plan on this date going?"
"I hadn't considered anything beyond dinner," Ravus said.
If over the course of dinner they decided they weren't interested in each other, there would be no point in doing anything else together. Even something simple could ruin it for them.
"Did you have any hopes for this?"
Loqi leaned back in his seat and appraised Ravus.
"Maybe. If dinner goes well."
Technically, they didn't need to do anything after even if they were getting along well. They could easily just decide on a second date and part ways. But what little remained of Ravus' day was open, and if Loqi had the time he wouldn't deny him.
"How open are you to sex on the first date?"
"Not terribly, I'm afraid. It would beg the question of whether or not you are actually interested in me, or if it's merely a sexual attraction."
Sex rarely crossed his mind as it was. Starting a relationship with it sounded ludicrous, and yet a part of him disagreed with his statement about not being interested. Loqi was exactly his type, as far as looks went. In fact, he looked so much like that young man who'd-
As the thought crossed his mind Ravus set his cup back down. He couldn't be.
"Well that's a shame," Loqi said. "It's probably for the best."
The hair curved the same way at the ends. On his cheek was the same beauty mark. Eyes the same shade of gray-blue. The more Ravus stared, the more Loqi's face looked like him.
What were the odds?
"Something on my face?"
"You look like..." Ravus fell silent, unsure how to go about bringing it up. Did he even need to? If he was wrong Loqi was sure to be offended.
If he was the same man, that meant... Ravus's cheeks flushed as he remembered clearly what had happened when he watched that video. Specifically that man in particular had- Oh dear gods above this was embarrassing.
Loqi's lips curved into a grin as his eyes grew understanding and once again he leaned forward over the table.
"I look like what, Ravus?"
That was a tone Ravus certainly did not appreciate his name being said in. Not in public- No, not at all. Even if it did come from Loqi and- Ravus scowled in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. He hardly knew Loqi enough to be attracted to him. Much less act like this. So what if he knows what Loqi looks like naked and the sounds he makes during sex? So what if he wanted to take this chance to experience it himself?
"How many have you watched?"
"Just one."
He really didn't want to talk about the fact that his sister had managed to set him up on a date with one of the men from the single porn video he'd ever watched. Specifically the man he found appealing.
"Which-"
"I do not wish to talk about it," Ravus snapped.
Loqi's laugh was a mean little sound this time, but before either of them could say anything the waiter was back with their food.
Eating in relative silence didn't stop Ravus from remembering that video. Or the fantasy he'd indulged in after hastily shutting his laptop. Which would only be worse now that he'd actually met the man and- Ravus frowned at his food. That was a rather unfair situation between the two of them.
"Loqi," he said. "I believe I shall take you up on your offer. If it still interests you."
He didn't dare look at Loqi to see his expression. He kept his focus on his food instead, feeling how hot his face and ears were. As much as he wanted the suggestion to be a matter of evening out something that didn't really matter all that much, there was no denying that was an excuse. He couldn't remember a time he'd been this stupidly interested in having sex with someone.
"Oh, I'm interested," Loqi said. "Now tell me, have you ever been to Accordo?"
As Ravus informed Loqi that no, he had never been to the island nation, he felt himself relaxing again. Maybe this could work.
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Jaylos June prompt # 5
21st – The Universe told me that you were my soulmate (Fluff/Romance) (My next few prompts probably wont be uploaded for a few days since I head back home tomorrow at butts o’clock in the morning! Also this one is really long whoops and doesn’t completely follow the prompt I don’t think TAT)
Dating was weird.
Jay hadn’t really considered all of the strange things that dating, real and true Auradon dating, entailed when he had asked Lonnie out. Evie had given him a basic run down of the essentials- what to do on dates, when not to flirt with other people and the like- but according to Jane and Audrey, there was so much more involved than just telling someone that you liked them. He had asked Lonnie out because he thought she was one of the coolest people in Auradon; smart, funny and athletic, they shared some common interests that most girls in Auradon would have no interest in. It helped that she was a pretty girl, making his choice to ask her out an easy one in the end, though he hadn’t expected ‘asking on a date’ to turn into ‘going steady’ in a span of two days. At first it was great- Lonnie was fun, easy to get along with and friends with his crew. They had a great time hanging out in a group, and holding her hand was…nice. The first few days were fantastic, and then…
…then Lonnie had sat him down and explained that couples didn’t just spend time alone to make out.
It wasn’t like Jay hadn’t known that- Evie and Mal spend loads of time alone with Ben and Doug, the four of them even going on double dates that, according to the girls, were incredibly romantic- but he had a hard time figuring out what sorts of things Lonnie might like to do for dates. The girl herself was no hope, claiming that it wasn’t romantic if she had to tell him where to take her, and he had turned to Carlos for help in picking good date places. Every suggestion he gave was met with a soft sigh or a chuckle and an explanation that while Lonnie was certainly more outgoing and active than most, she was still indeed an Auradon girl and would most likely not find the same things they did romantic.
(Jay had thought he’d hit a winner with a moonlight game of tag, but Carlos had gently reminded him that Lonnie liked to abide by rules, and if Jay really wanted to play moon tag then all he had to do was ask Carlos to and he’d be more than happy to oblige.)
Jay tried to be a good boyfriend, and most of the time he thought he succeeded, though sometimes…sometimes Lonnie did things that bothered him, and he wasn’t sure if it was okay for him to mention it. She wanted to spend all her time with him, but Jay was firm that he and Carlos had to spend time together alone sometimes, a ritual of sorts that had formed back before they had left the Isle and Carlos had needed someone to watch over him while he recovered from Cruella’s insanity on the worst days. Lonnie had tried to insist that as his girlfriend she wouldn’t actually be intruding on their time together, but Jay had been adamant that it wasn’t okay for her to join them. He hadn’t liked the fight they’d had after that- Lonnie didn’t understand why Carlos needed Jay so much sometimes, and Jay didn’t have it in him to give up his friends secrets even to someone he was dating. It had taken Carlos interfering to apologize to Lonnie for taking away from her time with Jay for the two to stop fighting, the younger teen anxious about having caused the fight to begin with.
Lonnie also had a habit of trying to dress Jay in clothing she thought would look good on him, even though Jay refused to wear anything she bought him. His Isle clothing was comfortable, worn in and familiar to him in a way that was comforting when he felt too out of place in Auradon. Evie and Carlos had made every item of clothing the four VK’s wore, familiar with Jay’s hatred of sleeves and Mal’s hatred of most colors that weren’t purple or green, and Jay felt a little insulted for his friends every time Lonnie brought him a new article of clothing that was vastly different from what he liked to wear. It had taken three separate occasions for Jay to snap at her, accusing her of trying to change him, before Carlos had calmly taken Lonnie aside to explain why it bothered Jay so much that she was bringing him clothing that was more suited to Chad than any of the Islers. Lonnie had stopped after that, though Jay often caught her looking at Carlos with an almost pitying look whenever the younger teen wasn’t paying attention to them and it had him confused as the what, exactly, Carlos had said.
“Jay, have you ever thought about liking a boy before? Like back on the Isle or anything?” Jay was pulled from his thoughts at Lonnie’s question, the entire table pausing in their conversations to look at them as Jay gave his girlfriend a strange look.
“Liking how? I like lots of dudes, they’re called friends Lonnie.” Lonnie rolled her eyes as Jane perked up beside him, pushing her bowl of oatmeal aside to lean closer to Lonnie as across from Jay Carlos glanced up curiously.
“I mean like, have you ever thought…you know, sexually about boys before.” Jane wrinkled her nose at Lonnie’s choice of words as Jay frowned, his gaze flickering from Lonnie to Carlos for a moment before he cleared his throat.
“I mean...yeah?” Lonnie’s brows shot up at his answer, her eyes seeking out Janes before she leant closer to him.
“Really? When?” Jay’s brows furrowed in confusion at the question, and he gave a small shrug as he picked up a piece of bacon to eat before he answered.
“I dunno Lonnie, usually when I’m kissing them. Why are you so interested all of a sudden?” Lonnie hummed, glancing at Carlos a moment and causing the other teen to pale before leaning back into Jay’s space, a wide grin crossing her lips as she tapped his arm.
“Have you ever thought about Carlos while kissing someone?” Jay’s confusion grew as across from him, Carlos made a noise that reminded Jay of days spent looking for his friend only to find him being humiliated by Cruella or one of her croonies, and he pulled his arm away from Lonnie as he shot her a disappointed look at the obvious discomfort the question was causing his friend. “I mean, he already knows everything about you right, I’m sure you’ve thought about it.” Carlos shoved his chair back at Lonnie’s words, and Jay barely had the chance to look up before the other teen disappeared out of the cafeteria.
“Not cool Lonnie, what the hell is wrong with you?” Lonnie’s expression fell into shock as Jay shoved his chair back as well, and he glared at the girl before shaking his head. “I don’t think this is gunna work out if you’re gunna ask shit like that when Carlos is clearly not comfortable hearing it. Not okay, Lon.” Lonnie gaped as Jay took off after Carlos before turning back to the table, unsure of what to say. Ben, Jane, Evie and Doug all looked sympathetic, though Mal seemed more amused than anything as she reached for the pitcher of orange juice in the middle of the table.
“You had to know that was coming, Lonnie. You’re smart, you had to know that Jay wasn’t in love with you or anything.” Ben attempted to hush her, and Lonnie turned her attention to the fae girl as she waved off Ben easily.
“What do you mean, I had to know it was coming? I didn’t expect my boyfriend to dump me in the middle of breakfast because of a question!” Mal snorted, and Evie reached to gently touch Lonnie’s arm as she gave her a small, sad smile.
“What Mal means is, Jay might like you a lot, Lonnie, but he’d never have fallen in love with you.” Lonnie gave her an offended look, and Evie quickly waved her hands, shaking her head some. “I mean that in the nicest way possible, I swear to evil! It has absolutely nothing to do with you, Lonnie. Jay’s been in love with Carlos since…mmm, when would you say, Mal?” Mal glanced up from the glass she was pouring to ponder a moment before she gave a small nod.
“I’d say probably just after Gargoyle Bridge on the Isle of the Doomed so…almost two years now?” Lonnie’s jaw dropped at the news, and Evie turned her attention from Mal back to her with an apologetic smile.
“Yeah, that’s about right I think.” Lonnie’s lip quivered slightly at the information, the girl sinking back into her seat as she realized all of the little things that she had taken as Jay simply not knowing how to date someone the Auradon way simply didn’t add up when she was often witness to Jay doing the exact same things for Carlos.
“So he was what…using me?” Lonnie’s voice was small as she asked the question, and Mal and Evie exchanged a look before Mal shook her head.
“He hasn’t even clued in that he’s head over heels for C, Lonnie. You don’t get to experience what love is on the Isle, not really, and when those two first started hanging out we were…it wasn’t…” she let out a soft growl of frustration, and Evie pat her arm before taking over.
“Mal and Jay weren’t nice to Carlos for years before we all became a crew. And Mal tried to put me into a thousand year sleep when I finally came out of exile after ten years from not inviting her to my birthday party when I was six. You don’t have friends on the Isle, let alone people that you openly care for, it’s too dangerous.” Her smile softened some as she reached to squeeze Mal’s hand, giving her a soft smile before returning her attention to Lonnie. “Carlos is the first person Jay’s ever gone against his dad for. The first person Jay ever willingly gave food that he’d stolen for himself to. And Jay’s the only person Carlos has ever trusted enough to let help him after a Bad Day.” Lonnie’s brows knit together in confusion at the emphasis on the words Bad Day, and Evie frowned some as she shared a look with Mal.
“Carlos had it way worse on the Isle, let’s leave it at that. It’s not our place to give his secrets out. But those two were destined for each other, Lonnie. I have no doubt Jay never meant to do anything that would hurt you…he just doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to be scared of having real feelings for Carlos anymore. I don’t think either of them have really accepted the fact that our parents can’t get us here.” Silence fell over the table for a moment as the words settled around them, before Lonnie gave a small nod, reaching to snag a piece of bacon from Jane’s plate with a huff.
“I just wish someone had mentioned something sooner so I wouldn’t have wasted both of our time!”
-=-=-
“Carlos? Hey, hold on a minute C!” Jay was fast- as the best thief on the Isle he’d had to be, else he get caught- but Carlos had years of experience ducking and avoiding his mother, making him difficult to keep up with. Jay didn’t catch up to the younger teen until they’d reached their dorm room, and he closed the door behind him as he slowly approached the heavily breathing teen. “Hey, I told Lonnie off for upsetting you dude, it’s okay. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by you knowing shit about me, it’s not like you know everything there is to know about me dude.” Carlos spun on his heel to face him, brown eyes wide as he stared at Jay a moment before taking a step towards him, a frown dipping his lips as he took a moment before he suddenly began speaking, giving no pause during his speech.
“Your ideal date is a game of Moonlight tag or Laser Tag and pizza. You don’t like peaches and cream no matter how many times Lonnie gets you to try it, and you only like strawberries if they have chocolate on them. Your favorite video game is NTL 2016, you always play as number 9 no matter what team you’re playing as. You’re afraid of snakes and of something happening to me, Mal or Evie. You hate sleeves because they’re constricting and sneakers because they feel too flimsy when you run. You like to draw even though you don’t like to let anyone see it, because you’re always comparing your art to Mal’s and that’s really silly because you’re talented, dude!” Jay reached towards Carlos, frowning when the younger teen simply pushed his hand aside and began to pace the room as he ran his hands through his hair. “Your favorite spot on the Isle is the rooftop of Mim’s place, because Mim always left out extra blankets and stuff for you to nap on. Your favorite food is steak, medium rare, with mashed potatoes and corn. You’re terrified of meeting Aladdin and Jasmine only for them to not like you, which is why you keep refusing Aziz’s invitations to his place. You have sixteen scars; five on your hands, three on your face, seven on your torso and one on the bottom of your left foot. Your actual name is Jadiir, which like….like no one knows except your dad but I do, Jay, I know it. I know a lot about you that no one else does. Lonnie’s not wrong.” Jay watched as Carlos stopped his pacing, the smaller teen standing in front of him as he tugged on his curls in frustration.
“You’re just a lot more observant than most people, dude. It’s not a bad thing.” Carlos let out a whine at Jay’s words, taking a step forward to grasp the older teen’s shirt to pull him close enough to kiss, rough and heated as Jay let out a surprised noise before dropping his hands to Carlos’ hips, letting the other control the kiss as his eyes fell shut. It didn’t last long, and Jay opened his eyes again as Carlos pulled away with a soft curse, the freckled teen putting a bit of distance between them as he reached to rub at his eyes.
“You’re a fucking idiot, Jay. I’ve been in love with you for two years and you’ve just been so…oblivious.” Jay’s cheeks reddened and he cleared his throat, reaching towards Carlos again to catch his arm, causing the other teen to look at him with a steely look.
“Your ideal date is taking Dude to a dog park, then going out for supper at that arcade diner in town. Your favorite food is actually chicken, not chocolate like everyone thinks. Your favorite video game is that weird one with the puzzles that I’m not smart enough to understand, and your afraid of being sent back to the Isle…and rats. You don’t like wearing pants because the fabric rubs against the scars from your bear trap incident and it hurts, and you think that the only colors you can pull off at red, black and white even if you are so totally wrong, dude, you could wear any color and look fucking gorgeous. You’re so self-conscious and you really shouldn’t be, man, you’re...there’s beautiful and then there’s you and you don’t even see it, man. Your favorite place on the Isle is your treehouse, though Yen Sid’s class was a pretty close second, and your favorite person to spend time with outside of the girls and me is your cousin. You have no interest in meeting Anita and Roger even though you agreed to. You have one hundred and eight scars, three of which you got trying to protect me like an idiot.” He tugged Carlos closer to him, watching him as the freckled teen blushed at the information. “I’ve been in love with you since you faced the Gargoyle Bridge. I’ve never met a braver, smarter, more kind hearted person and I just…I didn’t want to say anything. In case I was wrong and it wasn’t love but dating Lonnie showed me that no one is going to be as perfect for me as you are. No one is gunna complete me like you do, Carlos.” Carlos looped his arms around Jay’s neck, leaning up to press another kiss to his lips, and Jay sank into it as he held the other teen close, finally feeling complete.
He’d have to apologize to Lonnie in the morning.
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secretshinigami · 7 years ago
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Red petals
Title: Red petals Author: @theredtint For: @thequietonesarethedarkestones Pairings/Characters: B/L/Naomi, more like B/L & B/Naomi(everyone is cool with everyone) Rating/Warnings: T, mild gore at first, language Prompt: AU where B and Naomi don’t die, and L calls both of them in to help investigate the Kira case. Bonus points for romance between the three of them. (Not a love triangle, polyamory)
Author’s notes: You also said for fanfic requests hanahaki disease and I love that so much, but my art is really bad so instead I tried to incorporate that into this fic. Naomi was really difficult to write into a relationship with these two idiots. I almost scrapped this because she is just so mature and these two just aren’t. With B it’s honestly like she is babysitting him. “Ryuzaki, please don’t do - or sure do that, not my fault if you die.” 
There is a range of dead and live roses on his bed when he opens the door to the attic. The dust is all around and closed case files line the wall, just like they used to. The dust bunnies dance in the ray of light from the window as he walks over to pick up a rose. B used to leave one for every day he was gone from The House when he was younger, when they were younger. When A was still alive. He told him of hanahaki disease once when L asked why roses. Told him how the flowers would crawl their way up his throat, ripping the inside with their thorns and dying white petals red. L told him to shut up and stop being stupid. The flowers were from the garden, Z would file in complains that someone would cut them down.
B is in the doorway, he looks older, scarred and burnt, bandages hanging off and the patches of skin that L can see have roses on them. Large, and beautiful, and red like blood. The hospital room is behind him, a medical gurney and a burnt body on it. His body. L never got enough courage to visit when he was awake. He sat by the bedside for two hours, leaving before B woke up and not looking back. So his brain tries to put an expression L used to know onto a new face. It looks wrong and out of place. He sees the mouth open, sees the petals fall.
He almost fails to catch himself when he wakes up with a jerk, nearly falling out of the armchair that he dozed off in. It takes a moment for the world to come into focus and he finds what woke him up.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up? We’ve talked about this, if you feel tired you should go to bed.” Watari carries in a file to set down on the coffee table in front of him. “Sleeping in that position is damaging for your spine.” 
He waves the old man off. “I didn’t feel tired.” There is a sigh but Watari doesn’t protest. 
“They should be here any minute now.”
B looks more animated than he expected. He grew into his limbs nicely L thinks, catches a small smile that threatens to show and locks it away. Three counts of  first degree murder. Arson. Assault. Breaking and entering. Desecration of a corpse. He recites the lengthily list that got B in prison, fading out the image of a young boy with a missing tooth and long lanky arms he hasn’t grown into yet.
Naomi looks like she is running on three hours of sleep and two liters of coffee, and also vaguely like she’d rather not be here, but it might be jet lag. He gestures at the couch next to the armchair he is in.
“Go on, sit down. I hope the flight wasn’t too unpleasant. There is tea and some pastries on the table you can have whatever you want but those cupcakes, those are mine.” He points at a plate before deciding to just reach over and take it to where he is instead. “I’m assuming you both read the files provided to you on the -“ His words break off when B’s hand is in his hair. He noticed him moving yes, but somehow still hoped the movement would be to sit down on the couch and not come and assault him.
“What is this? What did you do to your hair? Did you fucking straighten it?” B’s hands aren’t aggressive, must like inspecting. Someone still hasn’t learnt the meaning of personal space. Naomi is dragging him off by the shirt collar before L has a chance to kick him off. 
“Ah, I see you decided to ignore a whole page.” L feels tense, but seeing Naomi shove B onto the couch and sit down next to him somehow calms his nerves back down.
“Don’t be dramatic, I ignored one rule.” He is waving the accusation off and L sees the same boy past the burns and missing finger. You can’t match me anymore. He isn’t sure how he feels about that. B doesn’t seem to be bothered by his appearance, or at least he doesn’t show it if he is. But B was always a brilliant actor, switching faces and voices at the drop of a hat. Sometimes L  still wonders if B remembers his real voice, or if he played parts for so long that his own got lost in that mix.
Naomi is pouring tea for herself and only speaks once she takes a sip. Poised, but looks natural and relaxed next to B’s erratic movements.
“We’ve read the memo. I’ve made him read the memo.” B’s lip twitches at the clarification and he looks like he is about to say something before Naomi shushes him. They spent at least four months with each other at this point and it shows. L was rather surprised at how well the arrangement worked. “He says it’s not normal. You are dealing with supernatural powers.”
“This case is going to fuck you over.” B states as he reaches for a brownie. “Absolutely and ut-“
Naomi punches him in the shoulder slightly. It looks like it could still sting. L hopes it stings. B looks pleased, L wishes he didn’t.
“If you get past all of his ranting, the verdict is supernatural powers used by someone who is in this region yes. Likely human he said.” She pauses to take a sip and there is an exasperated sign. “Two hours of ranting, L. He would not shut up.” Well that explains why she looks like she hasn’t slept. B still seems to have a tendency to go on a tangent. He used to like hearing him talk, now all it reminds him of is B’s voice breaking into sobs after A’s funeral. B is fidgeting around, he is either attempting to actually find a good position, or annoy her. “God, sit down.” By the look on B’s face it was the latter.
L doesn’t know how he feels about this pairing yet, they work well together, almost too well for who B is, for how B is. But as long as B is contained and pacified L doesn’t care how he got to that point, Naomi never requested to have him taken back behind bars despite periodic complains, and despite L giving her a clear option to do so. He sees this as beneficial to all parties, maybe eventually B will grow up and out of his obsessions.
They talk and B laughs more often than L finds necessary, but his insight is valuable, his eyes are valuable. It’s an asset that can edge him on in this race of death, or at least that’s what B calls it. “Race of Death.” Naomi drinks at least four cups of coffee during the briefing, inputs her couple of dimes, and even if L brought her in to keep B on the chain he find her ideas and theories fascinating. Something other than heart attacks. B is grinning when she speaks, like some sort of proud boyfriend- mentor, L corrects himself mentally. The image of B in a relationship is unfitting. He is all red petals and thorns, get too close and you will bleed.
The world doesn’t fit quite right when he walks into Naomi in B’s lap and his mouth on her throat. It looks…wrong. Misshapen and fascinates him like some sort of a crime scene. It’s not a crime scene however because Naomi’s hands are under B’s shirt, pulling him in. It’s a few minutes until L coughs and she jumps off, red faced and terrified, full of excuses at first, attempting to convince L of something he doesn’t need to be convinced of. Looks like B indeed did swing that way, he wouldn’t have guessed with his past. And B is grinning at him like a wolf across the room, all smug and L is sharply aware that he knew that he was there all along. You really didn’t mature at all. He tells Naomi what they do in their personal, off the work time is none of his business as long as it doesn’t impact work and leaves. B finds him in the HQ, sitting in front of the screens and staring at the recent death tolls.
B’s hands are still warm when they wrap around his shoulders, but there is a faint pink mark on his cheek when he leans over and L looks to the side, it’s pleasing to see. There are also hickeys over his neck, those are less pleasing to see. This is the first time since they arrived that he is alone with B. It’s unnerving and yet painfully familiar.
“Are you upset?”
“Why would I be?”
“That you are not the only one who has me now?”
“I never wanted to have you. You are like a weed.” It’s only half a lie. He might’ve found B annoying back then, but as years grew by that hole that was left with his departure continued to expand. Maybe B wasn’t a weed after all.
“That’s rather hurtful of you.” His hands are still over L’s chest and they are warm and calming. “Did you miss me?”
“No.” 
There is a chuckle next to his ear and L can feel B burying his face into his hair, a soft humming follows, familiar lullaby, L wants it to stop, B has no right to bring it up now. L wonders what this is leading to when B was just leaving marks over Naomi mere minutes before. “Shouldn’t you go back to your girlfriend? As I understand it women get upset if you leave them like this.”
“Did you miss me?” The thorns coil into the wound, pressing against the sensitive flesh, threatening to drag the truth out with blood if they have to.
“Are you dating or is this just a thing to pass time?”
“Dating. Did you miss me?” B is insistent, he didn’t change. The same teen who would bring roses to him day after day as a reminder that he still loved him, as if him not bringing a rose would hurt L in some way. 
“Is she upset?” L tilts his head back and B shifts, his face coming into view above L. The mark has faded, the hickeys haven’t. B’s face looks nice in the glow of the monitors despite the scars. He reaches out, compelled to touch the ridged flesh, L knows B won’t protest. 
“Did you miss me?”
“Yes.” He isn’t sure if he is pulling B down or if B is moving down himself, he knows that he sees a pair on black jeans in the doorway out of the corner of his eyes before B’s hair is covering his vision. His lips are still soft, surprisingly so, healed from the fire, they taste vaguely like coffee and he realizes that it must be Naomi’s, there is no sweetness to it. That’s a thing that he focuses on in this kiss. It’s gentle, like a lover’s long gone. 
“Ahem.” It takes a moment after that cough to push B away after that cough. He feels…hm, whats the word for this? Embarrassed? L thinks that he feels embarrassment. He isn’t sure, it’s a new feeling. L knows he doesn’t particularly enjoy it. His ears feel a bit hot.
“Oh, you did decide to join me.” B is still looking down at L with a grin before standing straight and turning around, spinning L’s chair with him to face Naomi.
“You are two days late. You owe me a hundred.” L expected anything but that smile, he expected tears, or anger, or whatever else women do when they catch their supposed partner making out with some other dude. He didn’t expect an amused smile. 
“It’s just two days.” B sounds vaguely upset. 
“Tsk tsk, a bet is a bet, Dear.” 
L has never been more confused in his life.
Naomi explains it over tea, their relationship is more open that normal ones are. And before coming over B proposed a bet that he could get a kiss out of L, and, like the child he is, got offended when Naomi said that he couldn’t, proposing another bet: That he could get a kiss in less than a week. He didn’t and now a hundred dollars are owed. L is still confused by the end of it, but B ends up all over his lap, it feels right and nostalgic, and Naomi doesn’t mind so L doesn’t see any point in pushing him off. 
Light runs when they try to arrest him, he remind L of younger B, only B now is grinning next to his chair  as Naomi apprehends Kira. He feels like this is too easy, this is not fair, this feels like it was handed to him on a silver platter by B. He doesn’t speak to Light before he is escorted out, the case is closed, not in a way he would’ve wished it to be, but it is closed and there is nothing more that he wants to say to Light. Watari will get all the necessary information. He has more interesting matters to attend to. B said Naomi likes roses, he’ll make sure to place an order for those.
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littlemisssquiggles · 7 years ago
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RWBY Musings #28: A Squiggle Meister’s Views on Midnight Dragon (Tai Yang + Raven) and Albino Dragon (Tai Yang and Summer)
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After Miles debunked the whole Qrow is Ruby’s real father theory, he confirmed once and for all that Tai Yang is indeed the biological father of both Yang and Ruby. However, despite this, there have been comments buzzing around the FNDM still bringing this into question.
Believe it or not, there are fans that are still raising the probability of this being factual by now questioning how Tai was able to get over his love for Raven in order to fall in love with Summer and then birth a child with her, just after two years since his first born child and previous relationship.
As always, the squiggle meister is here to toss her full $2.50 into this discussion pot and weigh in my thoughts and theories on this ongoing topic.
Disclaimer: In doing my research, I learnt that the FNDM has christened these two Tai Yang ships as Midnight Sun (for Raven) and Summer Loving (for Summer). And while those ship names are fine, truth be told, I wasn’t much in favour of them or any of the other alternatives that I saw. So I went with my own idea for the ship names. Also, sorry folks but this is gonna be another long post. Not as long as the last long musing I made but still long enough to warrant a warning.  Just wanted to mention this beforehand. That being said, let us begin:
The Raven, the Sun Dragon and the White Rose.
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So Tai Yang takes 2 years to get over Raven and romance Summer enough to give him another kid? When you say it like that, it makes it sound even more ludicrously impossible, am I right?
Well truth be told, sometimes in the real world, there are actually relationships that start off in only a matter of weeks and there are even cases of folks getting married in less than six months or even a month after just dating. I mean I’m no relationship guru myself but it is plausible.
The point I’m trying to make here is following that reveal by the show writers, there are still those one or two fans gently sailing down that pleasant river I’d like to call Denial. Those who imply that two years is far too short of a timeframe for someone to recover from a past relationship. While I get the argument those fans are making, I must courteously disagree.
2 years is actually not too little time.
Again, there are examples of folks who fall off the couple wagon and get right back up in shorter time; sometimes starting a new relationship in only a few short weeks after ending their last one. I don’t know people like that personally but I do know people who know other people that treat their relationships like a claw machine game.
When they lose one relationship, they just immediately go back in and try for another one.
So I know of the type and I wouldn’t be too surprised if some of you readers also might know someone who shares that trait in their love lives.
So when you look at it from that perspective, 2 years really does seem like nothing compared to some exemplars from the real world.
Besides it’s not like Tai and Summer were complete strangers. They were teammates. Friends and to some extent, family even before the kids. Tai and Summer knew each other since they were huntsman attending Beacon Academy.
Since they were teenagers at the tender age of 17; the standard age for all students. The only exception was Ruby Rose who started Beacon when she was only 15.
Makes me wonder now if it was a similar feat for Summer Rose.
What if...
Ozpin allowed her to attend his school despite being two years junior to the average student age. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. With the casual manner Ozpin just invited Ruby to join Beacon back in V1; it’s almost like he’s done that before. But that’s just a hunch.
If I had to take a wild guess at how old Tai Yang is in the series, he’s probably in his early forties; perhaps 42-43 years of age. He’s too young to be in his fifties yet a bit too old to be in his thirties. The youngest age I can see Tai Yang being is 39 but my money is on him being in his early forties. If Tai Yang is in his forties, then that means he could’ve started a family back in his early twenties.
Since Yang, Tai’s eldest child, is 18 currently, my hunch is that Tai Yang and Raven probably had Yang when they were both between 24-25 years old age which surprisingly isn’t an uncommon age for folks to settle down and have a family.
My point here is that the members of Team STQR have all known each other since they were teens. They shared a strong friendship and camaraderie together, one that transcended time. Two of the members even got hitched and ultimately had a child together. Not sure if it was ever indicated that Tai and Raven actually were married.
I think marriage is something that most fans assumed but now that I think about, did the series or the CRWBY ever truly confirmed that Tai Yang was legally married to both Raven and Summer at some point. Were Yang and Ruby born out of wedlock? Are they both bastards?
Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bastard. Heck, the only show I know where being a bastard child is a big deal to the story lore is Game of Thrones (and I don’t even watch GOT). It’s just something I’m now wondering about.
Anyways if Tai and Summer were to get together within the span of two years or more specifically, 24 months (depending on what period you decide to count from) it wouldn’t be much of a problem because they already shared a history together.
Not only were they teammates who fought alongside each other during their years as young huntsmen in training but also long after it. Judging from how recent the photo of Team STQR looked, these guys have been together for years. Heck, I would even go so far to say that Tai and Summer probably knew each other before attending Beacon.
What if
...Tai and Summer were like Ren and Nora ?
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 School Days with Team STQR
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Imagine if...
Tai and Summer were close friends who’ve been together since childhood. Perhaps they both hailed from the same hometown in Vale and knew each other from around the neighbourhood.
I quite like the idea of Tai and Summer knowing each other before Beacon. Just picture Tai Yang Xiao Long being the hyperactive, brash type in his youth with a rather impulsive knack for getting himself into trouble all the time whereas Summer Rose, his neighbour and childhood friend, was the more level-headed and nurturing one always having to take care of him and bail him out of dire situations.
Picture teenage Tai and Summer as a watered down version of Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman without the revenge and occasional homicidal tendencies. I can definitely see Summer and Tai sharing a sibling-like dynamic in their friendship seeing as the other half of their original team were already related and well attuned to one another.
I can picture Summer developing a crush on Tai during the latter half of their school years at Beacon.
However, when it came time to profess her romantic interest in Tai, Summer instead chose to nobly not tell him her true feelings. She made this mature choice after discovering that Raven was also secretly in love with Tai (and was too much of a mega tsundere to admit her feelings unless pushed) and that Tai himself felt the same way for Raven since he confided this news to Summer, his closest friend at the time who he trusted the most with this information.
I figured telling Qrow that he wants to hook up with his sister would’ve been an awkward thing for Tai to do. So it’d make more sense to me if Tai either told Summer that he was in love with Raven or...she figured it out on her own because Tai’s feelings were obvious to everyone on their team except Raven.
And being the best friend that she was, Summer placed the feelings of her friends before her own and encourages Tai to profess his love to Raven.
Imagine a similar scenario like the episode from V2 when Pyrrha gave Jaune the pep talk that finally convinced him to tell Weiss how he truly felt about her. 
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Just replace Jaune with Tai Yang, Pyrrha with Summer and Weiss with Raven.
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Now that I think about, Team STRQ is literally the ole school equivalent of Team JNPR, being another unisex team in a lead role.
I can even see Qrow, who probably knew of Summer’s true feelings for Tai, making the same comment that Nora made in that scene.
Practice what you preach.
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.Raven described Ruby as being just like her mother. So if Summer shares some characteristics with her daughter, then selflessly backing off of a love interest to allow a friend the opportunity to fairly pursue said similar love interest seems like the kind of nice thing Ruby would do. Y’know if she was ever placed in that kind of position. 
Hummingbird Chirps
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But I’m actually for Qrow having a previous small crush on Summer when they were younger. I can definitely picture teenage Qrow Branwen garnering an instant attraction towards young Summer after they first met. Although my theory is that the crush didn’t last long, for the obvious reason of it being one-sided. Nonetheless it’s still something that I believe definitely happened in the past and was probably what jumpstarted Qrow learning to respect Summer as both a friend and warrior and was what made her such a significant figure in his life.
This actually makes me think of something funny. Back in V3 after he made his official appearance, Qrow was telling Ruby and Yang the story about the innkeeper who quote unquote ‘defeated him with her skirt length’. 
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If Qrow has a thing for girls in short pleated skirts then him being attracted to Summer would make sense. Judging from the old photo of Team STQR, Summer used to sport a pleated skirt underneath her flowing white cape. So...wouldn’t it be funny if the first thing that sparked love at first sight for Qrow with Summer was indeed her skirt length. She would be his type.
As luck would have it, Raven also wears a short pleated skirt with her outfit. Now I’m picturing Qrow teasing his older twin sister about skirts looking better on other girls as opposed to her. Y’know typical anime sibling banter which in the case of the Branwens, would result in comical moments of the twins breaking into mini sword fights all because Qrow was ballsy enough to provoke his sister.
Also imagine Qrow and Tai bonding over skirt lengths while thinking about their respective crushes. I’m just saying.
Black With Envy
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In continuing my point about the old school adventures of Team STQR, here’s a theory about Raven and Summer’s previous relationship.
Though I figured that Tai and Qrow probably got along pretty decently as the boys of the group, I can picture Raven and Summer being public enemies 101 when the team was first formed. Because Summer was such a gifted young huntress (even before unlocking her silver eyed powers); this made her even stronger than Raven and that angered the Branwen girl.
After all, Summer’s name is the first letter in Team STQR which means that she was their leader; appointed by Ozpin himself. I could definitely see it being very difficult for Raven and Summer to work together in the beginning since Raven was always resentful and jealous towards Summer at first even though Summer was always nice to Raven and did her best to befriend her.
I can picture Raven arrogantly believing herself to be the more worthy leader of their team (similar to Weiss’s initial feelings towards Ruby back in V1 after Team RWBY was formed) and it was actually Ozpin who talked to her and convinced her to give Summer a chance as leader (just as how Professor Port spoke to Weiss and convinced her to give Ruby a chance).
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There are quite a few opportunities for Team STQR to parallel Team RWBY and this is one of them.
Dat Good Summer Loving
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I’ve been musing a lot of about how Summer fell for Tai. Now it’s time to do the opposite. This is how I believe Tai eventually fell for Summer.
My hunch is Tai fell in love with Summer for her kind maternal nature. I picture that Summer has always been the type to take care of those she cared about. Underneath the face of a huntress gifted with an ancient power beyond her wildest imagination, was a compassionate woman with a genuine heart of gold and the cooking skills to match.
After seeing what an excellent surrogate mother she was to Yang, despite her not being her biological child, it was Summer’s benevolence and warmth towards others that made Tai fall for her, in my belief. Yang did point out that Summer loved her as if she were her own. According to Yang, Summer Rose was described as a super mom. Baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters.
Yang loved Summer and still referred to her as her mother when talking about her to Blake, despite having zero blood ties to her. I’m guessing that Yang probably believed that Summer was her mother for most of her upbringing up until the point when she disappeared. Yang probably didn’t learn the truth about Summer and the identity of her real mother until after Summer had died.
While just a theory, it doesn’t excuse the fact that for most of Yang’s life, Summer was her only mother figure and never gave her any reason to believe that she wasn’t, even after she had long passed away.  
What if...something happened to Yang when she was a little girl and it was Summer who saved her.
And following that incident, Tai realized his own growing feelings for Summer and over time, the two bonded further over raising Yang together. Returning to my earlier statement, contrary to what folks may believe, two years or even a year and a half is a lot of time to pass. We’re talking eighteen to twenty-four months here people and a lot can happen within that time span including change.
Lovers could suddenly abandon you for reasons unspoken; leaving you to take care of a young innocent newborn you had initially planned to raise together.
Hearts can be broken rendering you a husk of your former self. Friendships can be tested as loyal allies arrive to help you pick up the pieces to repair your broken self. Struggles can occur tested further by time.
But within those troubling times can surface memories.
Memories, both happy and sad can be made and from those experiences can blossom new feelings.
Some of bewilderment due to the complexity of these sudden sentiments. Some of uncertainty on whether acting out on such emotions would be in good judgement.
But mostly it was love; an emotion that hasn’t been felt in years and was probably never expected to be felt again.
Tai loved Raven. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was his first everything.
First crush. First lover (in the sexual sense) and the first woman he ever truly loved. As a matter of fact, no need for surprise because this was pretty much proven canon by Yang herself back in V2. During her conversation with Blake, Yang told her that Raven was Tai Yang’s first love while Summer was his second. 
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Tai Yang seems to be the kind of guy that when he falls for someone, he doesn’t just fall for them on a whim. As I shall repeat firmly yet again, two years is a lot of time to pass and many changes can occur within that period. It took Tai a whole two years to get over losing Raven because Ruby was born the following October.
Let’s do some math here. Ruby is approximately two years younger than Yang. That’s their thing. At the series start, Yang is 17 while Ruby is 15 highlighting their two year age difference. Even though we don’t know the exact date Yang was born, the fact is that Ruby was born a whole two years (or approximately twenty four whole months) after Yang.
Now that I think about, the CRWBY never really give us birth years. Any information regarding the characters’ respective ages is presented in the form of their exact ages and their birth dates. That being said, since she’s the only show runner whose birthday has been confirmed, Ruby Rose has always been the margin for me to measure everyone else’s ages by because it doesn’t matter how old other characters are, they will always be whatever age gap they corresponded to Ruby.
So if Ruby aged up by one year, it is safe to assume that everyone else aged up by one year too (which is why I don’t understand why the RWBY Wiki page keeps saying that all other characters are the same age they were at the start of the series and not currently while Ruby is the only one to have been confirmed to have aged up. I don’t get that. If Ruby is 16 now then everyone else should be 18, at least that’s my logic).
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Using the above 3-year calendar to help illustrate my hunch, let’s say: Yang’s official birthday is in June, more specifically June 1st. I say this date because it was the day when the RWBY V1 Yellow Trailer first premiered to audiences at A-Kon Dallas back in 2013. You can technically consider that to be a sort of birthday for Yang because it was the first time fans were introduced to her character and got a taste of her in action. Plus Yang being born on the first day of the month (doesn’t necessarily have to be June) can work because it corresponds with how her younger sister was born on the last day of the month. It could work. Not saying that all the RWBY girls’ birthdays correspond with their original character trailers but, like I said it’s just a hunch to help with my explanation.
Ruby’s birthday is October 31st. Since Ruby was born at the end of the tenth month in the year, one can speculate that Ruby must’ve been conceived in the February of her birth year following Yang’s 2nd birthday. To keep things simple, let’s just say that Tai had some pretty good swimmers when he impregnated Summer and she herself was able to have a full healthy labour; not factoring in any circumstantial issues like premature labour or any initial prostate problems during the time of conception.
Now I know what you must be thinking now.
Squiggles, why the fudge are you going through such trouble to justify all this nonsensical information? To further prove my point, of course. The yellow areas in the calendar indicate the total length of time Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure. Look at all that time spent before Yang’s supposed second birthday.
2 years. 24 months. 96 weeks. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 minutes. 63,072,000 seconds.
That is almost three solid years that Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure and that’s without even including that they’ve known each other on an intimate level for much longer.
It took Tai Yang two whole years to get over Raven. Can’t remember if this was confirmed or not but Raven left shortly after Yang was born. After Raven left, Summer stepped up.
As I will mention again, Summer was not a stranger to Tai. The two have known each other since their teens. They were already close to begin with because of their longstanding friendship and camaraderie from Beacon days which lasted even into their adult years working as established huntsman.
Tai is not a two-timer. He didn’t cheat on Raven with Summer or anything ludicrous like that. After 24 months of emotional healing and after being in the presence of a woman who was not only his good friend and teammate, but had also more than proven to be a great companion and even good mother figure to his firstborn child (better than her real mother for sure), Tai did what any person in his position once heartbroken by previous ties would do.
He moved on!
Once Tai realized that there was no way Raven would ever come back to him or Yang, he moved on.
Instead of continuing to wallow in the loss of losing Raven, he picked himself back up. He returned to resume his role as a good father to the then toddler Yang. He found love again in Summer Rose. I’d imagine that Summer might’ve shown a little bit of contempt at first at the probability of her and Tai being together in that way. However, in the long run, she came around and found true love in Tai, reciprocating his feelings. And from their requited love, they settled down to become a family. Not the most conventional family but still one built on the love of two people who loved the child they were raising together and each other.
This is like the perfect plot synopsis for a Hallmark Channel romance flick.
Man loses his first wife after she mysteriously disappears, abandoning him and their newborn child. Man’s best friend and close colleague from work shows up to help him through his loss and steps up as surrogate mother. Shenanigans ensue but in the end, man is able to break out of his slump to be a better father to his child thanks to friend. Man and Friend continue to raise man’s child becoming a little family. During this time, the child grows up and starts calling man’s friend her mother.
This brings the future of man and friend’s relationship into question. After that the man and friend start to notice things about each other they never noticed before; like how much they enjoyed each other’s company and how well they looked together as a family. Cut briefly to one antagonistic friend who shows up to remind man about his wife.
Long story short, man and friend fall in love, come to realize their feelings and then confess those feelings. Man and Friend then get married with the man’s toddler as the flower girl in the wedding; practicing all that good Lifetime Movie shizz. Fast forward some time later when man’s friend who is now his new wife is recalling all the events after their wedding.
She is doing so while coddling her new baby; the newborn child of her and man just as Man enters the room with his toddler daughter who is now your average two-year-old toddler; talking and walking. The toddler daughter runs up to her new mommy and baby sister. Man and Friend who is now his wife then share a kiss as their toddler daughter plays with her new baby sister. The end. Roll credits.
Now gimme my cheque Hallmark cause that is the perfect plot for your next big hit. Then again, there must be at least three Lifetime Channel Original movies with this kind of plot already in existence. Jokes aside, you guys get my drift, right?
Shipping Don’ts for the Dragon Ships
 I sincerely hope Tai’s relationship with any of the girls on his team wasn’t like how they butchered the Makorrasami love triangle in the Legend of Korra animated series.
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Not to throw any sort of shade but I really pray that it was not a case where Tai was once romantically involved with Summer while at the same time harbouring a conflicting attraction to Raven (who he probably didn’t get along with so there was always this unspoken sexual tension between them).
Like what if...Tai and Summer were once ‘high school sweethearts’ who shared the same passion to become huntsman. So they were already a couple when they joined Beacon and ironically wound up on the same team together with the Branwen Twins.
However Tai’s budding interest in Raven starts to interfere with his commitment to Summer especially when Raven starts flirting with him a bit and obnoxiously accusing him of having feelings for her despite knowing that he already had a girlfriend who was their teammate and team leader.
And of course, Summer is all oblivious to Raven’s advances on Tai, naively glossing it over as them learning to finally get along. Eventually that attraction surfaces and Tai and Raven end up sharing a passionate moment together which causes a temporary rift in Team STQR when Summer discovers that Tai had cheated on her.
But being the good person that she is, Summer decides to forgive both Tai and Raven for their infidelity. Tai and Raven then become a couple. Fast forward years down the line when they are married and already had Yang. Raven then suddenly leaves, dumping Tai. Summer shows up to help and in the midst of everything, she and Tai rekindle their past love for each other and hook up again.
As temptingly juicy as that may sound on paper, I would like none of that nonsense to touch RWBY please. Love triangles in shows can be an engrossing ride if handled well and I put major emphasis on ‘when handled well’. When love triangles or any kind of pairing shape are handled incorrectly with horrible writing, it can mostly lead to one big fat mess and of course, the dissatisfaction of the fans and show viewers.
Hence, my example of the Legend of Korra. It has been a universal statement of the LOK fandom that the romance in the series was just a mess. And while it took me years after the show long concluded to see the true validity of this point, I too can now say that I agree with this remark.
So far, RWBY has done a pretty exceptional job with the way they’ve handled all their romance. When I say this, I’m speaking mostly about in the show itself. I’m not making any reference to the infamous RWBY shipping wars. That’s all external conflict in the FNDM, not the show.
Despite one or two conflicts here or there mostly involving love shapes (y’know triangles, diamonds, hexagons, trapeziums etc, etc) in the earlier seasons, the ships in RWBY never got to a point where it became cringe-y for me to watch.
Even though I made not ship some of them personally, I respect all the canonical pairings that have appeared thus far in the series.
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Even the ones that should make me cringe, like in the case of Tauradonna and Blake’s past with the villainous Adam Taurus, are well-justified.
What that means is when I cringe at a ship in RWBY, it’s because that’s the expected reaction I’m supposed to get as a fan after learning the nature of the relationship based on how it’s written.
I’m supposed to dislike Tauradonna because, it’s written as an unlikeable, unhealthy, abusive pairing according to the show canon.
The only time shipping in a show becomes cringe-worthy is when the characters in question aren’t bad but their romance is handled so terribly in the canon of the show that I can’t bring myself to be fully onboard with it, even if I happened to like said characters.
It’s especially worse when I like a ship but their whole relationship custom is written so horribly and irrelevant to the story plot that it just makes me question my own loyalty to said ship. 
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Thankfully so far, canon RWBY hasn’t gotten to that point with me and hopefully it stays well on the path to creating well-written ships. I’m especially invested to learn more of the Dragon ships according to the show canon.
Some STRQ-y Predictions for RWBY V6
For what it’s worth, I’m hoping the series will take some time to shed light on both the Midnight Dragon and Albino Dragon pairings. Given the teaser clip from the V5 finale, it would be relevant for us to learn the truth of Tai’s past with both of his former lovers: Raven as well as Summer.
The CRWBY writers certainly seem to be setting something like that up for V6. I’ve talked about this in a past musing that V6 will be more about the ‘Journey to Atlas’. That way it can tie up all the loose ends to come from the aftermath of the Haven Battle.
But since they brought up Tai Yang with a hint of Raven, it looks like their story is one of the loose ends that the show plans on defining for V6 or at least I hope so. I want a Team STQR flashback. I want to see what Raven and Tai were like, both during Beacon and after.
I wanna know the whole truth behind why Raven left. We still haven’t gotten a properly defined reason for this yet. While I’m fully aware the show has implied that she did all that she did out of fear of Salem and lack of being able to convince anyone else to distrust Ozpin. Nonetheless that’s still not a full, clear definition.
The CRWBY writers keep tossing us fans breadcrumbs but at this point, I’ve grown tiresome of these tiny morsels of data and desire the whole loaf.
We still need to fully understand why and how Raven came to lose fate in Ozpin in spite of trusting him enough to grant her magical abilities.
Speaking of which, Raven made Ozpin turning her into a bird sound so grim when she first told Yang and Weiss about it. But later Qrow debunked this by mentioning that it was a choice that both twins wanted. The hell?
I want to know more about what Summer Rose was like. I want to know what her rapport with her team was like, both during and following Beacon.
I want to learn more about Ozpin’s interest in Team STQR and foremost, I want all of this plot exposition to lead into a proper account of how Summer died. And if the show can tie that reveal into Ruby Rose learning more about her legacy as a Silver Eyed Warrior and what that actually means for her future and fate then that would be awesome.
There is a silver chance that RWBY V6 will be more Ruby-centric. After all, the past two volumes of the Haven Arc have deviated attention from her as a means of further developing her teammates with their respective character arcs. V4 mostly highlighted Weiss’s story arc whereas V5 helped bring some closure to both Blake and Yang’s side of development.
The time has come to shift direction back to Ruby and I feel like V6 can be her season to literally shine as there’s a strong chance she could finally learn more about the Silver Eyes. They’ve been sitting on this plot device for two seasons now. It’s about time they get on with it.
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And if Ruby is going to learn more about the Silver Eyed Warriors, then she can’t do so without bringing up her mother.
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And I think hinting at both Tai and Raven’s involvement in the next season is a good sign that we can also get some insight into Summer Rose since they were the ones who knew her best along with Qrow. I wonder if the V5 ending was hinting at Raven possibly visiting Tai to talk and take him to Haven where everybody is.
Maybe my earlier hunch will come true. Perhaps Tai will play a role in the gang travelling to Atlas which means V6 could possibly give us a season where for the first time in RWBY history, Papa Xiao Long joins the party. So it won’t just be Qrow as the adult in charge. He’s gonna need a new protégé in guiding these kids towards Atlas especially if Ozpin is out of commission.
We can finally see Tai in action outside of the Patch and it’d be a terrific way to learn more about his character and his abilities (like his semblance).
Plus Bird Dad and Dragon Dad tag-teaming to babysit all the kids on the journey to Atlas.
Who wouldn’t wanna see a season with that in the plot? I’ll dive further into this for another future musing but think about it guys.
Papa Dragon for V6!  Hey CRWBY, c’mon!
So in conclusion:
 After Raven left, Summer was there, not only for Tai but also for tot Yang.
Qrow was probably around too but maybe not as much as he wanted to because of one, his semblance and two, his search for his sister.
I wouldn’t be too surprised if part of Qrow’s time away from the Patch was dedicated to him being the first one to go looking for Raven (and their tribe) after her sudden departure.
The lead that Yang found when she was a little girl that led her to go searching for her mom the first time; that was probably given to Tai by Qrow in his search. Or at least that’s my hunch.
Can’t recall if the show confirmed any stuff like this though. Don’t think so. Correct me if I’m wrong here, guys.
Anyways, I know I addressed several points and jumped through a number of personal fan theories and hunches.
 Even so, I hope this helps best give you guys the gist of my thoughts on this topic in the FNDM.
To say it one last time: No. I don’t think it was totally impossible for Tai to move on from Raven in the span of two years.
From what we know so far about Tai and can understand about his connections, Tai loved both Raven and Summer when they were his wives.
As the show canon has made mention of, when Raven left, Tai was devastated. Same for Summer.
After five seasons, we still don’t know that much about Tai. However from what I gathered so far, he seems like a genuinely cool and nice guy. The kind of genuinely cool and nice guy with a wicked sense of humour to prank teen Qrow into wearing a skirt in their younger years but...a genuinely cool and nice guy nonetheless.
It is unfortunately tragic that this one man managed to lose both of his lovers one after the other.
They were his former teammates. His best friends and the loves of his life. He cared about them both and also respected them both during and after their time as his significant others.
In spite of her absence, Tai still cherished enough from his past relationship with Raven because unlike some bitter single parents who choose to spend their time painting an ugly picture of their previous spouses to their children, Tai still loved and respected Raven enough to leave a good impression of her on Yang.
I think we can all safely agree that no matter the length of time he took to recover from one relationship, Tai loved and respected both of his leading ladies unconditionally till the bittersweet end and it’s that’s same kind of reverence he gives and teaches to the two badass angels that his world was blessed with because of those two leading ladies. 
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Not certain if we might see Tai rekindling his romance with Raven anytime soon for V6 or any other future chapters.
I dunno, that one particular Tai Yang skit from RWBY Chibi S3 has got me thinking thangs.
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But, I guess we’ll know in due time.
That being said, I think I’m officially done with this musing. As always I hope everyone who took the time to read it through enjoyed it. 
♦ More RWBY Musings by Squiggles ~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)
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elcorhamletlive · 2 years ago
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I'm not a b*l*r shippers and I periodically check your blog because I agree with some of your takes, so I'm going to take this post as an opportunity to talk a little about my frustrations with how the Duffers have chosen to handle their gay characters in their show.
I believe you are correct that the way Will and Robin's storylines (especially Will's) are written are due to the Duffers attempting to accurately represent the struggle of being gay in the 80s. However, I do not think their attempt was successful, and I highly resent the justification for their choices because of "historical accuracy".
Firstly, because ST is fundamentally about 80s nostalgia. It is not a show that is in any way interested in accuratedly portraying the social issues of the time period. It's a show that had a straight jock react positively to a girl he was interested in coming out as a lesbian; a show that portrayed an interracial couple composed by a white girl and a black boy, with only one person presenting any kind of opposition to their romance. Realistically, both of these storylines should have played out very differently. However, the Duffers chose to opt for an optimistic route (which, to be clear, I think was the right call - I don't think anyone watching ST wants or needs to see the kind of racist hatred Lucas would be exposed to, in 80s rural Indiana, for dating a white girl).
Setting social issues aside, the show is just not generally interested in realism as a whole. Is it realistic for two twelve year olds to fall in love at first sight and date for years? No. Is it realistic for a group of teens and a ten year old to be able to infiltrate a russian base? No. Is it realistic for a teenager to be able to hack a school's grading system to change her boyfriend's grades? No. But all those things still happened, because the universe of ST allows for romanticism and whimsical storytelling. The goal is not to make a documentary about the 80s, but to tell an entertaining story.
So with that in mind, what I think grinds my gears, in particular about Will's story, is how none of that shows up when it comes to gay characters. We're asked to suspend our disbelief for everything but the gay boy's story - then we're supposed to go "oh yeah of course, realistically Will wouldn't come out or get a boyfriend until college. Sucks for him I guess!". It creates a tonal dissonance with the rest of the show, and, frankly, it feels like a mean-spirited narrative decision.
It's also hard, as a queer viewer, to not look at the whole thing through cynical lenses. Crushing on a straight best friend is a common gay experience, sure, but the decision to only have this storyline for Will in the penultimate season sure feels pretty convenient, as it almost certainly means we will not get to see an actual romance between two boys in the show. Ideally, they should have introduced Will's crush on Mike earlier in order to have time to properly allow him to get over it and date someone else. Instead, they have crafted a story that seems tailor-made to not upset any homophobes in the audience: Will is gay but he is terminally chaste, put in the position of pining for someone who does not share the same feelings, ensuring that we will never get to see him act on his gayness.
It also feels pointed, and telling, that Will's role as a character, aside from his sexuality, was pratically nonexistent this season. Again, as a gay viewer, to me it is impossible to not notice that, the more explicit Will's sexuality becomes, the more he is pushed into the background, not allowed to have any badass moments or plot-related insights. Even in the already almost irrelevant Cali plotline, Will does not get to make any decision that impacts the story, while Jonathan and Mike do. It's like the second they decided the character would, indeed, be gay, that became all he could be, in their heads.
Robin gets a little more to do, from a character perspective. However, her crush is still not given nearly the same amount of time and development as the straight romances on the show. She spends more time encouraging the supposed romance between Steve and Nancy than interacting with her love interest. We know next to nothing about Vickie as a person, other than the fact she had a boyfriend, is in band, and has similar social anxieties as Robin's. There's a reason why people jumped to shipping Robin with Nancy instead of her canon love interest - because the canon gay romance got almost nothing, while her friendship with the straight girl got a lot of screentime and significant moments.
All that being said, I do recognise there's still a season left, and maybe they will mend some of these issues. Maybe Vickie will get more screentime and her romance with Robin will get more scenes. Also, I know they've said Will is an important character next season, so who knows. Personally, however, if they keep true to their "no new characters" promise and don't give him an actual romance, I will still find the storyline lacking. I know gay characters don't need to date to be representation, but ST is so obsessed with pairing off literally every character under the sun that if the gay boy ends up the only person single, it will feel very uncomfortable, to me. That's all speculation, though.
I have a thought. Perhaps the reason Robin and Will have not openly stated their sexuality, Will especially, is not due to the ignorance or lack of tact of the Duffers, but instead is an attempt to accurately represent/honor the difficulty of being LGBT in the 80s. 40 years ago, Indiana, there’s a lot more stigma, it would be much much harder to feel safe admitting your identity even to yourself, let alone saying it out loud. That is what I saw in Will’s journey this season: he is trying so hard to find a way to say “i’m gay”/“I love you” to mike, but can’t quite find the courage. And finally in the last episode, in one of my favorite scenes of the season, Jonathan lets him know that when he is ready to say it, he will accept him, no matter what.
I think also it’s good to remember that there is still a final season, and this isn’t the note we’re ending on. This season might be for acknowledging the difficulties of being LGBT, whereas next season is for celebration and pride. Will still needs his coming out moment, Robin and Vickie still need to come together. I believe these things will happen in season 5.
I do not identify as LGBT, so I understand Will and Robin’s storylines don’t represent me in the same way as they do others, so I’m definitely open to hearing other people’s perspectives.
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mayumi-sato · 7 years ago
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Thin Ice.
For the 15th day of @pruausadventcalendar! Theme: Winter Sports!
To sit on a bench at the skating rink, drink a glass of espresso watch Gilbert's skates ripping the ice surface was pretty much everything Roderich Eldestein did during his week.
That wasn’t a bad routine, though, and he didn’t regret his choice to retire from professional skating and become a coach. After all, he no longer had the energy he had had in his early teens and he always wanted to have more time to devote to his hobbies, anyway. He wanted to have more time to play the piano, to watch operas and to sleep without having to worry about having to wake up early to practice.
However, there was still pressure, of course. Preposterous rumors on him abandoning skating as if it never matter to him and that he had never liked the sport in the first place spread all around. Absurd. While all that was indeed completely true, Roderich didn’t like people pointing fingers at him. How dared them accuse him of things that he actually did? So rude.
Under all this pressure, eventually he decided to become a coach. However, he chose to coach a figure skater with such an egomaniac, awkward, ungraceful and unfunny personality that he would definitely never get anywhere in his career. Nobody believed in his potential and nobody invested on him.
Roderich was no exception to that.
Gilbert’s lack of popularity  also meant lack of work to be done by Roderich, which was pretty convenient for him. Instead of having to invest time and effort into his training, Roderich only came up to see a few of his practices and still kept reading romance novels in a corner, only occasionally raising his face to make criticisms of what he saw wrong in his technique so that Beilschmidt wouldn’t get too cocky.
Yet, Gilbert Beilschmidt being the annoying unbearable prat that he was, won a gold medal for Germany in the Grand Prix, without any of Roderich’s help. It was simply outrageous. Roderich was so shocked that he barely managed to say a word to the reporters who surrounded him after the competition. Not that he needed to say anything because Gilbert bragged about the victory enough for both of them.
Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. How did it happen? It was possible that Gilbert, despite being pretty much a clown and having no elegance at all… Was still good at skating? It was possible, in fact, that those personality traits had nothing to do with someone’s ability to do a good work?  
From that first victory, Roderich decided to look a little better at the person he was training and try to understand how the hell that complete moron had won a Grand Prix.
And who would have guessed? Watching again his presentation, it was clear to Roderich that Gilbert had won because he deserved it. Apparently, there were many things that you could complain about Gilbert Beilschmidt, but being lazy and not going well in the competitions were not among them. His presentation at the Grand Prix was quite impressive in technical terms. He jumped to incredible heights and made complex sequences of movements that were truly hard to archive.
If Roderich had to point out a fault in his presentation, it would be the fact that Gilbert seemed disconnected from the song when he skated. His notes on the artistic side of the presentation were always his lowest. Something ironic considering that those marks were always Roderich's highest ones.
As a good artistic skater, Roderich felt obligated to tell that to Gilbert.
To his surprise, Gilbert's reaction to this observation was not "Well, then I'm just going to jump higher!" but actually…
"Yeah, I also thought so. I'll try harder. I can only be in peace with myself when, despite having the worst coach in the world, I manage to destroy his world record,”  he said with a bright smile that had almost the same effect of a glove thrown in Roderich’s face. The nerve!
Roderich couldn’t continue to neglect him after such a provocation. It would be far better to take credit for that fool's victory than to have to hear that Gilbert got it without his help.
That’s how we come to be point of the beginning of the story. Now, Roderich came to watch Gilbert's practice almost every day, analyzing in detail what he was doing and giving him instructions about every step of his practice.
Roderich always did that, sat on his bench, always drinking some hot drink during this, because no, he did not want to get up to do something. That was too much.
And surprisingly, he found himself watching Gilbert's progress and even admiring it... a little bit. Gilbert was so fast, so confident in himself, so strong... It was a little exciting to watch him, Roderich had to admit. Sometimes simply observing him was more effective at warming up his body than his coffee.
Gilbert's personality also seemed more bearable over the months. Roderich could appreciate the artistic references in some of Gilbert’s jokes, his punctuality in getting to practice, his determination, the way he laughed loud and clear, the great smell of his cologne, his honesty in all circumstances and etc.
After a year of working with him, he might even be an affable fellow, if not for something that irritated Roderich the most in his behavior.
Gilbert made many jokes. Most of them stupid, but easy to be rebutted in a way that was fun for Roderich as well. Some of these jokes, however, were very suggestive and very annoying.
"You know, skating isn’t the only thing I’m good at! Wink wink!” “Don’t say ‘wink wink’ out loud. No one does this in the real world.”
Usually, Roderich really wouldn’t bother to be courted by a man, let alone one with whom he had had some suggestive dreams lately. Still, it was incredibly annoying to have Gilbert jokingly flirting with him not because of the flirting but because of the joking part of it.
It was annoying because he knew Gilbert was joking when he said "Can I triple axel over the rules of first dates and kiss you already?" and other similar lines, looking at Roderich during his practices. That wasn’t funny. In fact, Roderich thought it was almost offensive that Gilbert saw as something so hilarious the idea that there might be some chemistry between them.
Most of the time, he would retort these jokes with a simple "idiot" or a long silence of disapproval. One day, though, when they were really close to Gilbert’s next competition, that idiot made the following joke:
"If I win this competition, can you take me on a date? I want a premium date, young lord. With champagne, roses and a declaration of your eternal love for me at the end of the night.”
And this time, Roderich, pretty tired of helping Gilbert with his intense practices before the competition and from decoding his jokes as if he were a decryptor machine,  simply couldn’t take it anymore.
"Yes," he said flatly and completely serious. "If you win, I'll take you on a date."
Now, the answer that Roderich was expecting was "oh, I wasn’t being serious about it. Did you think I was being serious? Sorry, but I'm heterosexual and I already have plans to sleep with thirty girls after the competition."
Yet, instead, he saw Gilbert blush, giving him a long glance that emitted something in the spectrum between disbelief and mistrust, with his mouth hanging slightly open.
“Are you serious right now? I don’t enjoy those sort of jokes, young lord.”
I don’t enjoy those sort of jokes, he said. Gilbert said it.
I DON’T ENJOY THOSE SORT OF JOKES.
“What are you talking about?! You ALWAYS make such jokes, you loud baboon!” Roderich snapped, getting up at once and almost knocking his coffee over his clothes.
“They’re not jokes! I'm sorry if you didn’t understand the clever subtlety of my flirtations but I'm extremely serious about this, Rod! In fact, few people in this world can say that they are as serious as I am!” Gilbert approached him, pointing at his chest. He looked almost affronted, which was incredibly unfair.
"You were laughing this morning because of that article about a parrot who learned to swear and screamed when thieves broke into its house. Roderich pointed back, accusingly.
“Did you read the full article? The parrot kept yelling ‘fuck, fuck’ while thieves were invading the house! I’m a serious person but I’m still a person, aristocrat!  If I didn’t laugh at that, I would be a total robot. That article should be a Turing test or something.”
Roderich was rolling his eyes, about to list for Gilbert every time he had laughed at ridiculous things in front of him, even if that would take days, when…
"A-Anyway, I'm serious about this! I swear to you that I can make the best jokes in the world in a few minutes, but now I have to know this! Rod! If I win this medal, can we go on a date?!”
It only took a longer, more attentive look so that Roderich could see that this time Gilbert was serious. His breath was racing, his fists were closed, his face was red... He had the same look of anticipation that he had while waiting for his results after a contest. Oh… So Gilbert wanted to go out with him. That was fortunate considering that Roderich wanted the same for months but was too proud to say anything. “... I can manage the roses but If we drink champagne, you will pay for it.” Roderich answered, offering his hand to seal the deal, and he felt his heart flutter a little at the genuine, almost dumb smile that spread across Gilbert's face when he heard it.
"Heh, I should have guessed you'd be stingy even in that context," He laughed, covering his mouth with his hand and giving Roderich a genuinely amused look. Offended, Roderich wanted to tell him to forget anything he had said, but Gilbert raised his hand first and interrupted him with a appeasing voice. "All right, all right. I didn’t become a renowned athlete for nothing. I had to impress the aristocratic coach for whom I had a crush and pay for a fancy dinner with him. That was the goal, you know.”
… Really?
“So… Are we going on a date when I win?”
“If you win.”
“We have a deal!” he said excitedly, pulling Roderich's hand so hard that he fell in his arms.
And all that can be said after this is that this was far from the last time Roderich Eldestein would fall into his arms.
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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years ago
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The ThanksgivingWarrior 11/25/20 – THE CROODS: A NEW AGE, MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM, ZAPPA, HAPPIEST SEASON, STARDUST and More!
It’s Thanksgiving weekend, and usually I’d be struggling to figure out how much the new movies might make in what is normally one of the most unpredictable weekends at the year. Wait a second. I’m getting déjà vu here. Didn’t I say this exact same thing in the intro for last week’s column? Probably. Let’s face it, kids. I am absolutely losing my mind with how bored I am getting looking at my laptop screen all day long, even though I’ve now set up a pretty sweet new TV system to watch stuff on!
Anyway, there is one family movie coming to theatres this weekend, and in any other Thanksgiving weekend, I’d suggesting getting out and going to theaters, but at this point in the pandemic, with COVID numbers so bad that even I, “Mr. Reopen the Movie Theaters!” can’t recommend going to see a movie in theaters… well, except maybe in New York City, where they’re still closed. Sigh. 
We’re going to do things a little different this week, because I wasn’t able to get to as many movies as I wanted but didn’t want to delay the column to Thanksgiving Day. Instead, I’ll post what I have done on Wednesday, then check back here on Friday when hopefully I’ve added a few more reviews. Cool?
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Fortunately, the new animated sequel from DreamWorks Animation and Universal Pictures, THE CROODS: A NEW AGE, is a lot of fun, and this is from someone who really enjoyed the first movie quite a bit. The sequel’s premise is as simple as you can get: caveman family The Croods (voiced by Nick Cage, Catherine Keener, Emma Stone, Clarke Duke and Cloris Leachman), along with Ryan Reynold’s Guy, are still trying to survive in the wilds until they encounter a beautiful oasis that turns out to be the home of the more-evolved Bettermans, Phil (Peter Dinklage), Hope (Leslie Mann) and Dawn (Kelly Marie Tran).
I really liked the original The Croods quite a bit, so I’ve  been waiting patiently for DreamWorks to figure things out for a sequel. My instincts were definitely spot-on, because even if the original premise sounded a lot like The Flintstones, putting those voice actors together, even if it’s just Ryan Reynolds and Emma Stone proved to be quite prescient. A big part of the sequel is the burgeoning romance between their characters, Guy and Eep, much to the brutish chagrin of Eep’s father Grug (really Cage at his finest). Then along comes the Bettermans, and then it changes into a movie that is constantly showing the differences between the two families in many funny ways.
I’ve long admired Emma Stone as an actress, since she’s no naturally funny, and that’s even more apparent by how much she brings to Eep with merely her voice. Some of the scenes between her and Tran’s Dawn are absolutely hilarious. Cloris Leachman’s Gran also has some absolutely LOL moments later in the film. In some ways, Reynolds while funny, especially when pit against Cage and Dinklage’s characters, takes a back seat to the ladies.
I was equally impressed with the film in terms of its animation and how gorgeous and colorful the whole thing is, but more than that, it thrusts in a zaniness that I’d usually expect from something like Ren and Stimpy or SpongeBob SquarePants. So as much as it’s a kid movie, there’s enough to entertain older kids and even old men like me.
Without having seen Pixar’s Soul yet (this weekend!), Croods: A New Age may be one of the most entertaining animated movies I’ve seen this year, and that’s because it leans so heavily on being so absolutely crazy and zany that you can’t help but have fun.
You can read more about the movie and how it was made in a feature I wrote for Below the Line.
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Next up is MA RAINEY’s BLACK BOTTOM, George C. Wilson’s adaptation of the 1982 August Wilson play that preceded Fences, which Netflix will give a theatrical release this week before it goes to streaming in December. Like Fences, this once again stars that film’s Oscar winner, Viola Davis, in the title role of Ma Rainey, a legendary blues and jazz singer in the late ‘20s who has come to a recording studio in Chicago to make a record with her band.  The band’s hotshot trumpet player Levee (the late Chadwick Boseman) is more interested in breaking out on his own, and he does everything to grandstand and try to impress the label guy (Jonny Coyne) even if it means throwing the rest of the band under the bus.
Since I never saw Wilson’s play, I really didn’t know what to expect from this movie, although the fact that most of it takes place in a recording studio definitely had my interest piqued. In case, you’re wondering about that odd title, it’s actually a song in Ma Rainey’s repertoire that she wants to do one way, but her manager Irvin (Jeremy Shamos) wants to try Levee’s version of the song. Ma’s not having any of it, and a lot of the film involves her
There’s been quite a lot of chatter about Chadwick Boseman getting a posthumous Oscar nomination for his performance in this, and it’s probably well-deserved since he gives quite a showy performance as Levee, giving a couple moving monologues including one about his mother being sexually assaulted by white men.  It’s a very powerful performance indeed.
Rainey is certainly an interesting character for Viola Davis to play, even if she’s not necessarily likable with her obstinate demeanor and the way she gloms over her eye candy Dussie Mae, played by Taylour Paige, and dotes over her nephew Sylvester (Dusan Brown). As interesting as those relationships are, I probably enjoyed the interaction between the musicians more, because Boseman is working with some greats like Colman Domingo, Michael Potts and Glynn Turman. It’s actually kind of interesting how it switches between Levee and the musicians and Ma dealing with Irving upstairs.  
As much as the Wilsons are exploring some interesting topics about race and the treatment of black people in the times, the movie frequently feels dated and it feels like some of the ideas are never fully revolved, even as it builds up to a fairly shocking climax.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, but it’s a perfectly fine dramatic piece, but I didn’t feel that it had the weight of other movies about race I’ve seen, including yes, Green Book (sorry, haters), and a lot of that probably has more to do with George Wilson’s direction than August Wilson’s writing.
Just want to quickly mention a couple movies I’ve already reviewed, which will hit the streamers this week, including Steve McQueen’s LOVERS ROCK on Amazon Prime Video, which I wrote about here, and Ron Howard’s HILLBILLY ELEGY, now on Netflix after a short theatrical release. I reviewed the latter here.
I’ve actually seen Lovers Rock a second time since the New York Film Festival, and I enjoyed it even more, as it’s really a well-crafted film even if it’s not as immediate maybe as Mangrove (now on Amazon Prime) and Red, White and Blue, which will be on Prime Video on December 4. I just love how Steve McQueen created a shorter piece that isn’t quite as deep as some of the others since Lovers Rock isn’t based on history but is just a nice young romance about two young people who meet and fall in love at a “Blues Night” party. It’s not as deep as the other movies I’ve seen, but is still good. Oh, and my interview with Steve McQueen is up at Below the Line finally, and I’m pretty proud of it, so check it out!
I don’t know if I have too much more to say about Hillbilly Elegy, but I hope people will give it a chance because even if it does have problems and isn’t perfect, it’s an interesting story, particularly for Glenn Close’s performance.
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This week’s “Featured Flick” is Alex Winter’s doc, ZAPPA (Magnolia Pictures), an amazing film that takes a look at the life and career of the late Frank Zappa, best known for his quirky rock tunes but just at proficient at writing jazz and classical musical. I definitely went through a bit of a Zappa phase in my teens, and every once in a while, I would go back and see what had been released since his death in 1993, because his wife and widow Gail did a great job getting a lot of his unreleased music and live shows out there.
What shocked me when I saw Zappa was how little I really knew about the musician, because maybe he was a little bit of an enigma while he was still alive. I enjoyed the other doc, Eat That Question: Zappa In His Own Words, that came out a few years back, which was made up of public interviews Zappa gave, but it doesn’t really give as clear a picture of the man as Winter’s doc does.
For instance, Winter gets a lot of the musicians, including the amazing Ruth Underwood, who played with Zappa in the Mothers. You’d assume those musicians would presumably know the man best having toured with him for years, and yet, even they say that other than when they were rehearsing diligently or playing gigs, Zappa kept to himself. We also get a good sense of what a family man he was, since Winter was able to get Gail to talk to him before she herself passed way in 2015.
Zappa is an absolutely terrific doc that I hope music enthusiasts give a look even if they think they know what Zappa was about or maybe even those who didn’t care for his music. You might be pleasantly surprised by the tremendous amount of depth Winter brings to this talented musician and composer who still had a lot more to say. (And that’s an understatement!)
Incidentally, I’ll have an interview with Winter over at Below the Line very soon.
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On the other end of the musical spectrum (more or less) is Gabriel Range’s STARDUST (IFC Films)  -- not to be confused with Matthew Vaughn’s far better Stardust – this one starring Johnny Flynn, who played a young Albert Einstein in Genius: Einstein, this time playing a young David Bowie. Years before breaking it big with his album Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, young David just can’t catch a break in the U.S., so he goes on a road trip in 1971 with his Ron Oberman (Marc Maron), the A&R guy from his U.S. label who hopes to get Bowie across to young American audiences.
I’m not quite sure how someone can screw up a movie about Bowie, one of my all-time favorite artists, but making a movie that a.) takes place in the most boring era of Bowie’s career and b.) Not actually being able to use any of Bowie’s beloved tracks, certainly doesn’t help matters. It also doesn’t help that the script just isn’t great, creating a fairly dull biopic that relies more on Maron’s personality basically playing the same character we’ve seen him play so many times before to stay even halfway entertaining.  I couldn’t even get excited by Jena Malone, an actress I generally appreciate, as David’s wife Angie, because she plays her to be such a despicable and unsympathetic character.
If Maron is decent than Johnny Flynn is just plain flaccid as Bowie, playing him so mopey and aloof that when he finally emerges from his chrysalis as Ziggy Stardust – also with little of the flamboyance in his stage shows -- you just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. Oh, and a lot of the movie is based on the theory that the history of mental issues in his family is what haunts the singer.  Drab and dull, Stardust manages to make the most exciting rock star of the last half century seem like the most boring person on earth. It’s a flat-out failure as a biopic.
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Joan Carr-Wiggins’ GETTING TO KNOW YOU (Gravitas Ventures) is a witty Canadian high-concept rom-com, starring Natasha Little and Rupert Penry-Jones as two strangers who have a chance encounter at a hotel in Northern Ontario. The latter plays New Yorker Luke Manning, who is back home for his high school reunion, but when his positively smashed high school girlfriend Kaila (Rachel Blanchard from Peepshow) shows up at the hotel hoping to rekindle their spark, he asks Little’s character Abby to pretend to be his wife.
I don’t have a lot to say about this movie which was a nice surprise and clearly a labor of love for the filmmaker. Honestly, my favorite part of the movie is how hilarious Rachel Blanchard is in it. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me that found her deliriously drunk nightmare of an ex to be kind of sexy, but maybe that’s just me. In fact, the movie might have been even funnier if the rest of the cast were able to keep up with Blanchard, but the connection between the two leads did grow on me as it went along. It definitely has some funnier moments like when Kaila’s bowling husband Kenny shows up, and then some of Luke’s other classmates pop in as well, but it does have to work very hard whenever Blanchard isn’t on screen.  (I also enjoyed watching the soap opera that seemed to be going on between the employees of the hotel, which was perpetually funny.) Otherwise, it does feel a little flat whenever Blanchard is on screen.
The filmmaker’s lack of experience is sometimes obvious, because there are things like the repetitive music that I wasn’t so crazy about. Otherwise, this is a light and quaint indie that’s a little off the beaten track, but you won’t have any regrets if you make the effort to go looking for it.
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I’m thrilled to see actor Clea Duvall back behind the camera for her second film as a director, HAPPIEST SEASON, which was going to get a theatrical release through Sony’s TriStar Pictures at one point. Instead, it’s now going to be on Hulu starting Wednesday. (Today!) It’s a high-concept rom-com starring Mackenzie Davis and Kristen Stewart with Davis playing Harper, a woman who has not come out of her closet to her family, which makes it that much more awkward when she brings her girlfriend Abby (Stewart) home for the holidays.
As mentioned, this is a fairly high-concept comedy that uses the idea of someone coming out to their disapproving family we’ve seen in many movies, but does it in a way that can take it seriously but still allow for some funny moments. In fact, there are times when the comedy even goes into Meet the Parents territory in terms of the character humor.
I really enjoyed Duvall’s previous film, The Intervention, and once again, she has put together such as great cast to realize the script that she wrote with Mary Holland. In fact, Holland has a great role, playing Harper’s bubbly sister Jane, who steals so many scenes in terms of the humor that I was shocked that I only realized later she co-wrote the script with Duvall.
Mackenzie Davis continues to be every director’s secret weapon, because like in Jason Reitman’s Tully, she can literally deliver on every aspect of the movie, keeping the comedy aspects grounded but also deliver a really poignant performance. She also works really well with Kristen Stewart, maybe bringing out things in Stewart we just haven’t been able to see before.
Besides having Alison Brie play Harper’s older sister and Aubrey Plaza as an old flame, Duvall also had the foresight to get the amazing Dan Levy, recent multi-Emmy winner for Schitt’s Creek, to play Abby’s best friend, who is constantly there for her to kvetch and who shows up to pretend to be her boyfriend. (Oddly, there’s a lot of that sort of thing going on in movies this week.)
Happiest Season works as a perfectly fine albeit fairly traditional holiday rom-com in a similar way as The Family Stone. More than anything, Duvall continually proves her abilities as a filmmaker that can handle comedy and drama equally well.
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Next up, is Alan Ball’s UNCLE FRANK (Amazon), the Oscar-winning writer of American Beauty, directing only his second movie after 2007’s Towelhead – you might remember his HBO shows Six Feet Under and True Blood. This one, set in the ‘70s, stars Paul Bettany as the title character with Sophia Lillis from It Chapter One and Two playing his niece Beth, a teen from Creekville, South Carolina who worships her New York-based professor uncle. When she goes to college in New York, she attends one of Frank’s parties with her pseudo-boyfriend and ends up learning that Frank’s “roommate” Wally (Peter Macdissi) is actually his boyfriend. When Frank and Beth return to South Carolina for his father’s funeral, he has to try to keep his sexuality and relationship with Wally a secret from his family. Yeah, this does sound a little like Happiest Season, doesn’t it? It is, but only to a point.
At first, Uncle Frank is a cute but not-particularly-deep coming-of-age story about Lillis’ character as a fish out of water in New York City. Once Wally is introduced, he seems to be there just to make jokes and lighten the mood as it turns into a road trip. From his previous work, I’ve grown to enjoy Ball’s unconventional storytelling, but by comparison, this movie is very by-the-books, so it never really grabs the viewer.
The biggest problem with Ball’s latest--and it’s one that I see in a lot of movies these days--is that it doesn’t know whether it should be a comedy or a drama, and because it isn’t particularly funny, you expect it to fare better as a drama and yet, it doesn’t.
Ball has such a great cast including Judy Greer, Margo Martindale, Stevens Root and Zahn, all playing the duo’s racist Southern family, but they disappear for long sections of the movie, and then don’t do much when they return for the more dramatic last act where it turns into such a maudlin melodrama once Frank and Beth get back to South Carolina.  As they mourn the dead patriarch, Frank keeps reflecting back on what drove him to New York in the first place, and we’re pummelled with so many flashbacks. Lillis’ character almost gets lost at this point, even this story is supposed to be told from her point of view.
Essentially, Uncle Frank falls somewhere quite literally between Hillbilly Elegy and Happiest Season but not being as good as either. It’s just disappointing that Ball didn’t have someone offering good advice on handling material that will constantly have you groaning, “What was the point?”
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Screenwriter Matthew Michael Carnahan (The Kingdom, State of Play, 21 Bridges makes his directorial debut with MOSUL, which will debut on Netflix this Thursday. As you can figure out from the title, this takes place in Iraq in the fall of 2016 where an army of 100,000 Iraqi soldiers and militia men mobilize to liberate Iraq’s second largest city from ISIS along with the embedded journalist Ali Maula. Surprise, surprise, this is another movie from last year’s September festival season, too, and there also was a documentary from last year with the same name about the same story, too.
I’ve been a fan of some of the films Carnahan has written over the years, some mentioned above, but his directorial debut certainly sounds ambitious, since he’s working with an all-Arab cast. I look forward to watching and reviewing this one, hopefully before Friday.
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Premiering on Disney+ this Friday after losing its theatrical release – this is becoming the norm for Disney, huh? – is Ashley Avis’ adaptation of Anna Sewell’s classic piece of literature, BLACK BEAUTY about a girl and her horse. The girl is played by Mackenzie Foy from Interstellar and The Conjuring, and Black Beauty the horse is voiced by Oscar-winning actress Kate Winslet. No, I did not make that up, and I can’t wait to watch this, to see how that works exactly. Look for my review later this week… hopefully.
On top of that, those Trixie Pixies at Disney+ have somehow managed to secretly pull together a Taylor Swift concert called folkore: the long pond studio sessions, which will premiere exclusively on Disney+ November 25. Oh, that’s today!
Debuting on Showtime this Sunday is Errol Morris’ new doc MY PSYCHEDELIC LOVE STORY, which takes a look at the Acid King Timothy Leary through the eyes of his lover, Joanna Harcourt-Smith, trying to figure out her part in his turn into a narc for the CIA. Another one I hope to get to soon because while I like Morris’ political films like The Fog of War and even the Steve Bannon doc American Dharma, this seems more in the vein of Tabloid, which I also enjoyed. Will try to watch this over the weekend and report back.
Also of note is that the doc She is the Ocean (Blue Fox Entertainment) will be hitting On Demand this week. I guess I never got around to reviewing it.
So, let’s see. We’ve had some good movies, we’ve had some not great movies, and we’ve had a few movies that I just didn’t get around to watching yet. What does that leave? How about two of the worst movies I’ve seen this year? Are you ready?
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SUPERINTELLIGENCE (HBO Max) is the latest comedy from Melissa McCarthy and hubby director Ben Falcone, and boy, it won’t take you long to realize why New Line decided LONG before COVID not to give it a theatrical release, instead handing it over to its new streamer HBO Max. 
In this, McCarthy plays Carol Peters, an average Seattle woman, who – I mean, honestly, does it even matter what she does? It’s irrelevant. Carol encounters an artificial intelligence being with the voice of James Corden that has just achieved self-awareness and wants to study Carol in order to understand humanity. But what are its plans… to save humanity or destroy it? Only Carol has the power to keep the world from finding out. 
I honestly don’t even know where to begin except that I was a Melissa McCarthy stan for a long time before Bridesmaids;  Superintelligence makes it all-too-obvious that she needs to stop making movies with Falcone. It’s not that he’s an incapable director, but he just doesn’t give her the actual direction she needs. The movie is just all over the place, starting with the physical comedy McCarthy has done so much in her movies, but then turning into a romantic comedy as the AI tries to reunite Carol with her college boyfriend George, played by Bobby Cannavale. Apparently, making The Heat with Sandra Bullock has made Falcone think his wife could or should be Sandra Bullock. No, she can’t. Throwing her into a ridiculous concept like this one that isn’t very solid does little to endear McCarthy to the fans she keeps driving away with bad movies like this.
I’m sure it doesn’t help that I really hate James Corden and hearing his voice over the course of the movie while also acting very META by referencing the ACTUAL James Corden, Carpool Karaoke, etc. Just none of it is very funny. Oddly, this is written by the same guy who wrote the duo’s earlier movie, The Boss, which I didn’t think was that bad, but mainly because McCarthy was paired with Kristen Bell for a lot of the movie.
On top of that, Superintelligence wastes its entire supporting cast from Brian Tyree Henry to Sam Richardson (from Veep) but also has Karan Son from Deadpool playing the EXACT SAME CHARACTER he played in Like A Boss, but only for a few minutes then he’s gone. At least it had the forethought to cast Jean Smart as the President, but the fact that I didn’t even like Bobby Cannavale in this might be the biggest sign of how much I absolutely detested Superintelligence.
There are movies you might hate when you see them in theaters but later realize that they’re probably funny enough cable. That is Superintelligence, except for the funny part. What else can I say except that “Superintelligence” is not a term I'd use for whoever greenlit this piece of crap.
Also debuting on HBO Max this week is the new thriller series The Flight Attendant (HBO MAX), starring Kaley Cuoco, who really hasn’t been doing much outside The Big Bang Theory, so this should give her a chance to show how funny she is. She plays a woman who wakes up in the wrong hotel and wrong bed with a dead man, so it already sounds like a great premise right there. I guess the entire first season will debut on Thanksgiving.
And yet, believe it or not, Superintelligence isn’t even the worst movie of the week! Nope.
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Apparently, Josh Duhamel’s new comedy, BUDDY GAMES (Saban Films/Paramount), played in some theaters over the weekend, but it’s now available on digital and On Demand. It’s Duhamel’s directorial debut, and it’s about as dude-bro as you can possibly get, as it has Duhamel, Dax Sheppard, Kevin Dillon, Nick Swardson, Jensen Ackles and Dan Bakkedahl as a group man-children friends who regroup five years after going their separate ways to bring back their “Buddy Games,” a series of obstacle and endurance tests that end up reviving ill feelings between a few of them.
I’m not sure how quickly I knew I was in trouble with this one, because at first, I thought that maybe Duhamel made a fun indie comedy about friendship ala the underrated A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was wrong as wrong could be, since by the halfway point it turned into something as innately immature as Jackass.
The general idea is that Duhamel plays Bob, the guy who found enormous success after splitting from his friends, marrying Olivia Munn’s Tiffany, but then he finds out that his old friend Shelly (Bakkedahl) has been put in rehab for a drug overdose. Turns out that at the last Buddy Game, Swardson’s character shot Shelly in the nuts with a BB gun, and he eventually lost his other testicle as well. That’s about the level of this low-brow comedy that rarely fails to grab the lowest hanging…um… fruit.
As it goes along, it just gets worse and worse to the point where there was one scene where the guys are at a bar while trying to get girls to buy them drinks that just got so disgusting, I almost turned it off. If I did, I would have missed the scene with a gila monster going after steaks strapped to the heads in another lame competition.
I can go on and on about how Buddy Games is but probably the worst infraction is that it does the most sexist thing possible by basically putting having women for a few moments and none that particularly advance anything.
Duhamel isn’t a bad director, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got hired to direct another comedy someday soon, but this movie just very bad, very gross and almost excruciating to sit through at times. To call Buddy Games moronic, idiotic or even asinine, would be an insult to the morons, idiots or asses, who are likely to be the movie’s target audience.
On Friday, New York’s Metrograph is bringing back the 2017 4k restoration of Fruit Chan’s Made in Hong Kong as a ticketed screening running from Friday through December 3. You can also still catch Shalini Kantaya’s Coded Bias and the French New Wave anthology Six In Paris as ticketed screenings through December 3.
Up at New York’s Lincoln Center, you can catch its World of Wong Kar Wai with a couple films available this Wednesday, including his fantastic drama In the Mood for Love, but you can also get the 7-film Janus Bundle for $70 which is a saving over the individual movie cost of $12 apiece. Those seven films and five more will be shown over the course of December.
Other stuff out this week that I wasn’t able to get to include:
The Christmas Chronicles 2 (Netflix) Last Call (K Street Pictures) Faith (Vertical) Saul and Ruby’s Holocaust Survivor Band (Samuel Goldwyn) The Walrus and the Whistle Blower (Gravitas Ventures) Life in a Year (Amazon Prime) 32 Weeks
Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!
By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!
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