#and one is an antidepressant. so
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it does suck that there hasn't been a more widespread swing towards the greens and independents but i'm just trying to be positive tonight idk. i've got three years to be a leftist killjoy doomer but tonight i'm gonna be a cringe centrist and celebrate the downfall of dutton !!!!!!!
#i'm just glad he's gone!!!!!#can we not celebrate the fact that even the worst among us have flatly rejected trumpist rw bullshit???????#i'm gonna celebrate that!!!!!! i get so few chances to celebrate this country's politics let me have fun for one night!!!!!!!!#i wish i'd gone out actually#<<<< sentence i've literally never said before wtf are the antidepressants working??????????????????#auspol
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new Danyal al Ghul au just dropped! --or at least some art of it did. I call it the "Stillborn? No, no, still born" au (or stillborn just for short)




it's based off a batfam comment I saw that mentioned in the early comics Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
I saw it, thought "mm, tasty!" and thought what if that baby was Danny instead of Damian? By default I was thinking of making him a few years older, however, it works just as well with demon twins. I need to think it over. Meet Daniel Brown! 14 year old foster kid whose been with the Fentons for the last two years! He has SO many issues haha. hah. lmfao even.
Danny's theme song is literally just "Good Kid" from the Percy Jackson musical, to sum him up.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc art#dc x dp#dcxdp#dp x dc#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn au#danny's been fucking through it!!! watch me jam this kid pack full of issues. :)#long haired danny fenton#poc danny fenton#danyal al ghul#this boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and probably some rehab. we'll see where i go with that last one#the fentons have been the best foster family he's had so far. although best is not synonymous with safest.#that fourth one was me doodling how i imagine danny's first meeting with bruce goes. and by first meeting i mean#'danny doesn't even realize bruce is his bio dad but bruce comes to the awful and ugly revelation that his firstborn child was alive this#whole time and that talia lied to him again. and also his firstborn was fistfighting a fucking inter-dimensional being with a KNIFE'#danny's too busy fighting skulker to care about who the guy at the outdoor cafe is beyond asking him if he could borrow the spare patio#chair at his table. its so he can throw it at skulker. he didn't have time to transform so!! fenton fight it is!!#i looked up the most common and generic last name for danny and 'daniel brown' had too much of a nice flow to it for me to bother looking#for something else. technically his name *should* be danyal bc that was on the note. but :) we all know how the system can be.#long hair danny ftw
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"Since you've named yourself after Julius fucking Caesar, perhaps I'll follow in your lead and choose one of the conspirators." "Interesting," says Giuliano. "Should I worry about finding you at the center of some kind of conspiracy that ends with my death?" "Not from me," replies Ascanio. He sounds tired. "Not anymore."
informally, some kind of. conversational follow up to the last comic. I'm trying to get the atmospheric conversational whimsy out of my system because I have a vision of the vatican as a body in active decay, a point of infection spreading out and poisoning the well, a jaw unhinged that people walk into over and over, and I am so close to figure out how to convey this visually. maybe.
#not that there's anything wrong with atmospheric whimsy but i kind of want to get into the gross body horror of it all#literally. allegorically. for the vibes. its just hard to pin down the abstract thought of 'oh we should High Rise the Vatican' you know#(High Rise by JG Ballard is what i'm referring to here) like how do I achieve this. well. first. is i must lay out the vatican and become#intimate with the visual set pieces. then i can talk about how this building could literally be hazardous to your health#however. drawing the vatican. is very. uhhhh. man I do not know enough about medieval-renaissance architecture to be inventing#anything and that one book that collected interiors of rooms and houses in renaissance art is NEVER ANYWHERE EVER#and if it is then it's always around when i cannot afford it. i feel like i am in a specific kind of torment torture box#i will not be defeated tho. i can design a vatican through other means.#ANYWAY. i think antidepressants would've made ascanio an unstoppable menace in the vatican#there's a bunch of stuff being referenced here but my pdf reader does not want to cooperate with me so basically we're playing around with#ascanio's household staff (alessandro) that whole thing wrt to ascanio & acts of piety/charity (such as covering dowries etc)#uh. that's it! this time i didn't accidentally call giuliano by his brother's name. which is . sherhhg. so there's a fic i was writing.#italian renaissance tag#komiks tag
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codywan kissing... the most powerful antidepressant
#staring at last night's sketch#feeling healed#codywan is so good to me#also no one worry. im also on an actual antidepressant#lasagna rambles#codywan#codywan kissing agenda
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no literally this is how its been the last couple weeks
#leaving the call center to start a job that'll give me a 'maybe rent an apartment' level pay increase and a 4 day weekend#antidepressants may or may not be working but I've been able to engage with my biggest hobby in a way that's been difficult for months#got a guitar so now i have ANOTHER hobby I'm having fun getting started in and not being discouraged when I'm not good at it right away#yknow for once. unlike i usually am with everything i try to do#and using a lot more of my second language and realizing that im actually pretty decent at it so i have a new motivation for practice again#also i was just luxuriating yesterday in the fact that i went a whole couple of weeks without any Fucking Things happening#you know how adulthood is just one Fucking Thing after another and every time you finally put out one fire theres like 3 more#well for the first time i went like 2 full weeks without any Fucking Things happening i got to just live my damn life.#so yeah things in late January were actually going really good for me as long as i don't remember every few minutes that#i and my community are at the center of the culture war and being directly targeted by several evil regimes around the world.#avpost
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I'm here for any Rockstar AU crumbs or ideas you have
I still can't get over how we both saw ghost and said "yeah, that's a drummer"
Also I hope with that evil manager gone that work is getting better for you!
Hannah !!! I love the rockstar AU, haven't though about it in a while but this is a good opportunity.
Idk if I mentioned it before but I had this idea that Price, Laswell and Ghost started the band together when they were younger. Laswell eventually retired to a more managerial position so she could have more time for her and her wife, and the band eventually got Soap and Gaz, and Nik as a tour manager.
Also, I just can't get over Rockstar Price and his energy. Just absolutely no fucks given, he would speak his mind on politics and social issues all the time, a real punk. He probably has his tongue down all of the boys' throat every night on stage, making a show of it all.
He always ends up the shows drenched in sweat and always want to run to a shower immediately, but Nikolai always ends up catching him before he can. Something about his sweaty man that does something to his brain.
#cod#rockstar au#I LOVE THIS AUUUUUU I NEED TO THINK MORE ABOUT IT#AND DRAW IT#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#thank you hannah !!!#And yes Ghost just gives insane drummer vibe doesn't he ??#our brains just connected with that one#also work has been better yes#manager is still here for a bit longer but she's on vacation right now and man the difference it makes#I feel so much lighter#this + my new antidepressants working well means I'm doing a lot better#still not fully there but little steps right ?#<3#ask
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Antidepressants have lead me places I wouldn’t even go to with a gun, but oh man for the first time in a long time do I feel like I’m living.
#this is an escalation of my painting guardian post#essentially I have an unfinished Alistair portrait in my art studio#I talk to it. he protects my paintings and judges me#but I also paint outside of my studio#this is my travel painting guardian I guess#out of all the characters I could’ve gotten obsessed with#to be fair all the other favorite characters of mine are before I started antidepressants#he’s not#alistair theirin#dragon age#yeah I’m tagging this#sorry not sorry#if I have to deal with this then so do you#I did glue the image in after sorta managing it to be in the locket properly#but it is hard to fit things in a locket#my cheap locket#would prefer a silver one#or bronze#bronze is a nice color#stoat coded
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Todays the day I try and persuade the NHS to give me actual pain medication beyond paracetamol and neurophen 🫠🫠 wish me luck bc I'm gonna fucking need it 🙃
#“Theres days gps just throw medication at ppl” pleaseeee tell me where that is happening. I want medication#Gonna try and get the old antidepressants#Two birds with one stone u know#Physio just isn't possible atm#I can't have constant flare ups#I need to be able to walk so I can feed myself#And not only are the two over the counter pain relief I have doing fuvk all they are also fucking me up#Shit can u get non pills to swallow pain meds#Fuck#Guess I gotta make myself swallow them#I'm so fucking tired of being in pain
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RESURRECTION SPELL!!!
Where am i.

#HELLO. I’m here.#oh jesus I haven’t posted since 2023.#erm so just life got in the way of posting. I haven’t drawn very much I’m on antidepressants now and I got chickens.#that’s the gist of it.#^ featuring one of my favourite bad pictures of Carmella getting a bath.#I think I’ll make a post introducing my chickens :)#planetbugtalks
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I’m glad that im at the point where i can comfortably buy things that are like 300$ for myself as long as i keep track of my spending. Like obviously i cant buy 300$ toys for myself every week but every now and then i can spend big money on things for myself for one month and im happy ive made it that far… I suppose it really does get better. Wow
#2 years ago I would have had a panic attack even thinking about having a job the fact that I can get one much less hold a job is something#im really proud of I think. antidepressants is crazy actually wowwwww I can just do shit like this now#and now I have enough money/am good enough with money that I can comfortably buy things like this every now and then. wowwww#NO MORE SPENDING MONEY AFTER THIS THOUGH LOL I STILL HAVE TO SAVE FOR SWITCH 2#they’ve been working on this game since 2017?????? that’s so crazy this game is going to be huge. im so excited for mk world#200+ pieces of music for this game. hello.
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top surgery in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS so obviously i am perpetually bursting into tears because i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait!!!!!!! oh my goddddd i can't breathe i'm so excited (and terrified)
#i am also on month 4ish of progressively going off my main antidepressant so i KEEP BURSTJNG INTO TEARS UNEXPECTEDLY#my phone is being locked up with one of the gals for the first week of recovery but i've warned all my friends that im. well#despite being the Happiest Person they've ever met i am definitely definitely going to be crying that first week fbjdnf#oh god though im so excited i was at the gym tonight and all i could thnk was. THIS BUT NO TITS!!!!????? and no tumours which is nice also#but omg i'll be able to SWIM next year i can get back to racing and go running and sprint all the way off a fuckingg cliff .WITH JOY#GOD this was rescheduled so many times. i'm going to cy again i cannot believe it's finally here??????
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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands
#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me#i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me#i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the#severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult#but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant#and yet sometimes i get everything clearly#there are still ways to go#i still have to find a therapist#cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD#but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism#im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist#i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years#i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games#like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars#all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this#I'm scared that making art is not one of those things#i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it#but then why am i so good at it#like...#petrotalk
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here’s the thing: i want attention
here’s the other thing: if i am perceived in any way i will violently explode like a poorly maintained home brewery kit
#i fear I must once again up my antidepressants#NINE MONTHS out of work 🙃🙃🙃#i have once again been ghosted with one foot into the interview process#an interview process my best friend moved heaven and earth for and for which i am more than qualified#so really what is the fucking point#ruby has Not shit yet and getting a semi urgent but not emergency vet appt is proving Extremely Difficult#also there’s roaches
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the girlies are struggling and by the girlies i mean me
#switching from one antidepressant to another (lexapro to effexor) and it is ROUGH my friends#i've been on lexapro for a decade and it is just Not Working for me anymore#and weaning off it is...Hard lol#and my brain is Bad!!! so sorry i have not been here much#liz speaks
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a woman came in and tried to return shoes and a pair of jeans but she didn't have any reciept and the shoes had gone on sale since she bought them and she remembered they were 80 something dollars but neither of us could find any 'proof' she ever bought them for that price so she lost like $30 on this pair of shoes her daughter impulse bought </3 and she would've lost more on the jeans, i just feel so baadddddd she was so tired and so patient and understanding and i tried everything i or my manager could think of but i couldn't help her and i feel. so bad.
#also i'm on ny period with a headache and my antidepressant is wearing off and my deodorant keeps wearing? off? and it's humid so i fucking#Reak for No Fucking Reason so now i look gross and everything is back to pissing me off#and my nails are fucked up enough i'm considering doing another round of press-ons so they can grow back out but i. don't want to#couldn't get out of bed this morning and i'm tired enough of today that i might eat and pass out when i get home#i somehow had a benadryl dream in the 40 minutes that i fell back asleep this morning and it fucked up the rest of my day i think#and i still have 2 hours left!!! of this fucking shift!!! whatever at least most of my favorite coworkers are here#a post
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oh if people could know what having to take five pills a day for years feels like they wouldn't be so fucking insensitive and mean whenever I physically cannot stay awake during the day. if they could know what it feels they wouldn't call me lazy. with absolutely zero respect, fuck anyone who thinks they would "tough it out bc they have responsibilities and can't be lazy." fuck YOU.
#pupi's ramble#FUCK IT'S SO ANNOYING#yea mama sure you'll be able to handle an antipsychotic two antidepressants and two pills for my chronic that don't do shit#you sure would#i wish health for my family and loved ones but god they make me want to give all my pain and emotions to them the second they talk shit#chronic migraines#chronic illness#chronic pain#invisible disability
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