#and once again i’ll say this: i know meryl does not get much in the manga either but it’s ridiculous that the first half of the show

[lindaspark]

Really feeling your post about meryl. Feels like she's there just bc she's from the Manga and they felt they had to include her. I expected her to do more, have more of a purpose but she's just kinda there. I guess we have one more episode but really is upsetting that the 98 anime was able to do a better job in 98 and now in 2023 feels like we regressed and had to give her a mentor to give her development. I don't know man I'm just pretty bummed out that she's the main female in the story yet seems like the story doesn't care much for her. Hope this is just really long set up for season 2 but even then what a bummer to have to wait a whole season to get to meryl substance, if that's the case in the first place.

I’m glad I’m not the only one. I never expected my post to get that much attention but I’m really happy we’re more than just a couple of people. I kept thinking maybe I was being too harsh. I kept waiting for meryl to get something anything but we are 11 episodes in all she’s been is literally a guest star? Why advertise her as a main character? I would’ve preferred her to basically be erased like milly at this point and I’m serious lmao. It is so disheartening to see her get pushed aside especially when wolfwood already gets a lot and a whole arc with loads of action with vash later on the first part was rlly vash and the girls so idk man. The 98 version being better with her and milly also even more insane when u consider how easily they could’ve been misogynistic and sideline her but instead in 2023 we get it. but yeah i’m not expecting much and I am completely turned off by the show lol so if it does get renewed I will most likely not care about it until meryl gets more than 2 seconds every episode also MILLY.

ALSO. adding roberto another male character who’s an OC for her only for him to take up screentime be useless and not even actually give her character substance like be serious orange.

[alexiethymia]

checkmate

summary: Milly knew that being good at chess would come in handy one day. And she liked Mr. Vash, she really did, but she’d always be on Meryl’s side, no matter what.

Or, Milly intervenes in the cuddle battle. 

(post-canon, mix of manga and ‘98 anime)

[read on ao3]

part 1

When Milly came into work to find Meryl in Mr. Vash’s arms, she was more than pleasantly surprised. She was absolutely delighted!

Meryl was sat upon Mr. Vash’s lap, no wait, in between his legs as his long arms crisscrossed over her body to hold her tight against him.

She was loath to disturb them but she really couldn’t help her squeal of delight. The sound she made as she clapped her hands rang like a gunshot. Both of them whipped their heads toward her, Meryl’s face red with embarrassment and Mr. Vash with a sheepish expression on his.

“Oh, I’m so happy for the both of you! It was about time!”

Milly was grinning ear-to-ear. How could she not when she’d been the hapless observer to this strange dance her friends had been in for years and years. They had always been tip-toeing around each other, one person stepping back each time the other gathered the courage to step forward. Nothing much could get Milly down, but watching her dear friend cry, and Mr. Vash’s pained expression when Meryl recoiled from him broke her heart. She had always thought the both of them made something so simple so complicated.

“What are you talking about Milly?” Oh my, that didn’t sound like a twitterpated young lass. Instead it seemed as if Meryl was gritting each word through her teeth, while Mr. Vash chuckled, “Ehehehe”. If he hadn’t been holding onto Meryl, Milly suspects one of his hands would have been rubbing the back of his head in a rueful gesture.

Meryl turned her sharp gaze above. “Don’t you ‘ehehe’ me. When will you let go already?”

Mr. Vash turned his impish gaze down to the young woman cradled snugly in his arms. “Tut-tut,” he moved one arm to wag a finger in front of Meryl’s face. Milly was of two minds whether or not to warn him that it was at risk of getting bitten off. Despite having only one arm to hold her, it seemed to make no difference as Meryl still couldn’t get out of his secure hold. “I promised I’d let you go as soon as you calm down and you promise not to hit me.”

“WHY YOU-“

“Ah-ah, more time-out it is then,” and if possible Mr. Vash squeezed her even tighter, almost as if he wanted to meld the both of their forms together. Meryl couldn’t see it from her vantage point, and perhaps couldn’t even feel it with how agitated she was, but Milly could see Mr. Vash sneak in a nuzzle or two as he rubbed his face over Meryl’s hair once or twice.  

“I get it already, Vash,” she says in a defeated tone. Milly doesn’t know if the red on her face was due to embarrassment or anger at this point, and which of the two was the reason she wanted to escape his hold.  By this point, Mr. Vash had encircled both of Meryl’s slight wrists with his large hands, and Milly could practically see the steam lifting off of her boss’ face. “I’m calm, I’m calm, so let go already,” or at the very least she was willing herself to be.

Mr. Vash looked her over and perhaps satisfied with the lack of tension he felt, immediately let her go. As soon as he did, however, it was hellfire and brimstone all over again as Meryl shook her fists at him. But Mr. Vash, as silly as they knew him to be, wasn’t known as a legendary gunman for no reason. With reflexes so fast that Milly could hardly see him move, he had captured Meryl in the same hold, perhaps even tighter if it was even possible.

“I’m disappointed, Insurance Girl,” but he looked anything but. If anything, Milly thought he looked quite gleeful. “Does your word mean nothing anymore?”

Meryl growled at him, “It’s all your fault! How could you lose our thomas! How are we supposed to get to the next town now? Just let me hit you once and I’ll be satisfied.”

“Nope,” Mr. Vash drawled out the word, his mouth in an o-shape, which just incensed Meryl even further, “You’re the one who said I should protect myself better. This is just self-defense, self-defense,” he says self-importantly.

The abject rage Meryl must be feeling at having her words used against her rendered her speechless. In the break of their conversation, Milly decided to interrupt. They had probably forgotten she was even there. She was more than just a bit confused at this point.

“Um?” She wasn’t exactly sure how to phrase her question. Mr. Vash was of no help as he just grinned cheekily at her, while Meryl stewed.

She got her answer only a bit later once Meryl was finally released.

In many ways, Mr. Vash was still the same as ever. He’d run as they chased after him, although he would deign to travel with them sometimes. Although they now knew him for years, it almost felt like the war was some fever dream. It felt like nothing had changed between her two travel companions. Mr. Vash would still flirt or get into trouble, and Meryl would be there hot on his heels to pinch his ear tightly between her fingers as she dragged him away. The same old dance that Milly was getting tired off. It almost felt like a dream, but she had been there. She was a witness to everything, and to see two steps backward for every step forward, now Milly, patient as she was, had to admit to being a tad bit frustrated.

But something had apparently changed, if that hugging episode earlier was anything to go by.

Mr. Vash seemed to have a strange relationship with affection. Although he was often zealous with his advances, he seemed to always expect that he would be rebuffed. She’d often wondered why she and Meryl hadn’t been targets of such abysmal flirtations.

“It’s because he has a type,” Meryl had succinctly put it once.

But Milly didn’t think that was the case. No one could say that Meryl wasn’t beautiful. In fact, if anyone had, Milly would have certain words with them. In her case, it was probably because they had an affable relationship. Mr. Vash certainly reminded her of a few of her brothers with his appetite, and it warmed her to think that he might consider her akin to a little sister.

“It’s because we’re his friends,” she said decisively. Or as decisively as she could in her case. With Meryl, there always seemed to be a question mark at the end. Not that Meryl and Mr. Vash weren’t friends, but the way his tremulous gaze tracked her as she cried or smiled shakily up at him, made Milly certain that he found her beautiful. What confused Milly was why he never said so out loud.

He never asked, at least with words. When he moved forward on his own to envelope Meryl in a comforting embrace, Milly thought that at last there were moving in the right direction.

Although he had become more openly touchy with Meryl, this was still a strange development.

Apparently, Mr. Vash had taken Meryl’s words to heart. Each time Meryl was ready to bonk him on the head with anger, Mr. Vash decided he would put her in a submission hold until she calmed down, so he could protect his ‘poor, sensitive body’.

Meryl seemed to have had the rug pulled out under her with this new development in their routine. The familiar clutch to fall back under was gone. Instead, she had to contend with heat and an ever-increasing heart-beat which was a nightmare to put up with in the scorching atmosphere of No Man’s Land.

And Milly knew, that when Meryl got embarrassed, she got mad, so it was a never-ending cycle, and sometimes it took hours before Mr. Vash was satisfied that she had calmed down enough to let her go.

Once, she had spied Meryl perched sideways across Mr. Vash’s lap as he clutched at her shoulder and his other arm enveloped her wholly and entirely. It may as well have been an iron band, with how futile Meryl’s escape attempts seemed to be. Her head was tucked carefully under his chin as he rubbed it over her hair in a rhythmic motion, as if determined to leave his scent all over her. Huh, she never knew Mr. Vash was a cat. Perhaps he’d meant to relax her, but the motion had a relaxing effect on him instead if his blissed-out, dozing face was anything to go by.

Another time, Mr. Vash had bundled Meryl into his coat, tiny limbs and all, as he deposited her onto his lap. ‘To stop her from scratching me,’ he’d explained with a mischievous grin as Meryl glared daggers at him. Huh, perhaps it was Meryl who was the cat.

But as with anything, her boss was quick to adapt. It was just a few of the reasons why Milly admired her so much.

Usually, Meryl got angry when Mr. Vash did one of three things, got into some sort of trouble, bothered the female population, or got hurt. Oh, and when he disappeared without a word, but Milly knew that the last one just made her sad, and she grew mad to cover up the hurt.

Meryl huffed out a breath causing her bangs to lift, “He’s right,” she admitted reluctantly. “I have no right to get mad at him.”

Although Milly appreciated that Meryl was trying to reign in her temper, she wanted to disagree with that statement.

And so Meryl tried not to react each and every time Mr. Vash caused chaos, tried the deep breathing exercises that Milly recommended to her.

Unfortunately, Mr. Vash noticed. In many ways, Mr. Vash reminded Milly of her youngest big brother. His impulse control was already shaky on a good day, but now it was as if he was like a kid denied his favorite donut. His antics grew more outlandish. An explosion here. Another destroyed car there.

And while Meryl could more or less control herself whenever something bad happened that wasn’t entirely Mr. Vash’s fault, it was another story when he flirted. She couldn’t control her temper then, try as she might. And so, Mr. Vash flirted, terribly, blatantly, and where Meryl could see as much as possible. He seemed to have a precognitive ability whenever Meryl’s fingers would near his ear, or as Milly suspects, he could always tell before and duck out from under the assault, but he still let Meryl do it anyway.

Now, he didn’t let her succeed. Instead, he’d intercept her hand, twist her so she was fit against him, back to chest, as he encircled her. Even as Meryl beat her hands against his on her stomach, it didn’t dislodge the goofy grin on his face.

“Whyyyy, Milly,” she whined pitifully as she finished another shot of gin, “It’s so silly. He can flirt with whoever he wants! Who am I to get mad?”

Milly for once didn’t say anything as she sipped carefully at her drink. She would have to be the sober one this time around. As she watched her boss drown her tears on her crossed hands, she frowned.

“Meryl…is he taking advantage?” Milly hates that she had to ask in the first place. She knew Mr. Vash wasn’t like that at all, but it seemed that he never learned to ask properly.

She remembers Mr. Vash’s contented face, as Meryl ran her hand through his hair to get at another scrape caused by another of his death-defying daring exploits.

Meryl blinks back at her slowly, as she hiccupped. When awareness dawns, she flails, “No, of course not! He wouldn’t. There’s no reason for him to,” she murmurs quietly, but Milly can hear her clearly even in the rowdy bar.

Milly bites her lip, “Meryl, don’t you think…”

But her boss cuts her off before she can even finish. Meryl won’t insult her intelligence by pretending at ignorance. Before it might have worked.

‘As if I could ever like that donut-inhaling, womanizing, human disaster!’

But they’ve been friends for far too long for that. Instead, she dispels her notions with cold logic.

“I can’t be special to him, Milly. It’s just love for humanity, you know?”

Oh, that Mr. Vash. Milly already said she wouldn’t forgive him for making Meryl cry, and now here he was making her second-guess herself again. Meryl looks like she wants to convince herself. But Milly wonders at that strange emphasis.

She’s convinced herself that she can’t be special to him because she’d convinced herself that he loved everybody just the same. Whether it was someone who loved him, like Jessica, or the countless other women who he threw himself at and was rebuffed by.

Meryl and Mr. Vash were both incredibly smart, but often, they were just incredibly silly. Mr. Vash loved Milly, just the same as she loved him, and yet while he was also more open with her now, after putting his burdens behind him, allowing himself to be hugged by her or offering a friendly pat or ruffle of her hair, she remembers that it had not been to her that a promise to return was made or a kiss offered, shyly and hidden though it may have been.

Milly and Meryl had been friends for a long time, braving countless disasters, one humanoid typhoon included, together, so she can hear the words unsaid.

‘I can’t be another person he loses.’

And Milly’s heart breaks because her dear friend is foregoing her own happiness just to avoid the risk, the chance, of taking away from his own. And her heart breaks even further when Milly realizes who she is reminded by.

Denial 

Fear

As Milly takes in her friend’s despondent gaze, she wonders which one Meryl would rather live with. 

As much as she wants to protest and comfort, she knows Meryl can’t be reasoned with when she’s in this state.

Instead, she thinks of her friend’s current dilemma with the Humanoid Typhoon, and smiles sweetly.

“Hey Meryl, don’t get mad. Get even instead.”

[checkadii]

Holy shit, hi, I wanted to say thank you so much for your tags on your reblog of my fic 💙 I so appreciate it and you're too kind! I was a little nervous at times about the way I was characterizing Vash, so I'm really glad to hear it worked for you! Fics like this can be so hard to get eyes on so I really appreciate you taking the time to reblog and say what you thought!

GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS for a one shot the way you characterized him said a LOT . To me at least. It might be the hot weather getting to me idk . Characterization is such a doozy though I agree

THERES SOOO many aspects of Vash’s character that I’m so like. Picky abt when it comes to fanfics, I have about a dozen and some tabs opened on chrome rn that I scroll through every day,,, Usually he’s written as whiny, near childish, stubborn, generally babied, etc and that’s canon (to an EXTENT) but holy crap . He’s also angry, pent up and repressive, he’s frustrated, he’s living for an ideal that someone who left him long ago had, what does he have aside from that like ghfjnghn. He was the one who lashed out first in both 98 and trimax, and even if that’s tamer and more restrained, faint and maybe not with the fire it once had now and he’s mournful if anything,, he lost so much, and everything that was lost was meaningful to him,, for something nigh immortal (if he doesn’t drop dead like. 280 or smth idk) with so much time it fucking sucks to know that others close don’t have a fraction of it

the impact he had on the people around him even if he doesn’t know it, the impact the people has on him over the course of centuries,,, the way he felt unsure wether the right to be called uncle was his,,, but times changed. things changed

Another thing is that god. Yea. He would have vague knowledge of LR from wolfwood, and no matter the influence of that he’s still going to be wary I feel like. He should be. Hide it idc but there’s going to be some level of conflicted emotions towards him ghjngmnnnh .

AND MILLY!!! THAT WAS REALLY SAD TO READ BH THE WAY AHJSJD!!! Her becoming the family’s matriarch did put a smile on my face,,, aloof as she is she can be dependable and stubborn I feel like augh,,, and meryl :( her accepting the cane without much fight had me rolling around . IDK YOU JUST. vague hand gestures captured it really well in such short writing??

Living as someone else’s ideal turning into living for someone else entirely just. Myh. There isn’t much he can do, and that just. Leaves that. Carrying their memories. Keeping by their side to stave off their loneliness. Mourn those that passed, will pass, together. It really would be worth living the life he’s always lead

In short I’ll be rereading it along with that dozen and some tabs everyday thankyou for your work actually HOLYYY SHIT IM GIDDY THINKING ABT THE FIC AGAIN GELP 🗣

[landslided]

your humble anon back to praise you for those casting choices!! rebecca demornay the absolute beauty!! and phoebe cates is so so perfect! please know i am cheering you on from the sidelines waiting to give you the kudos you so rightfully deserve. (and if you feel like sharing headcanons, i would love to hear about them! also, you mentioned being inspired by hacks so is miguel the ava to johnny's deborah? or is he just the catalyst to johnny's reemerging career? it's all so interesting however i can be patient i promise!!)

anoooon, thank you so much you are making my absolute DAY!! my response is super long so i’ll put it under a cut.

i am not very far in hacks so as of right now ava and deborah’s relationship is… tumultuous to say the least. i will admit, yes, miguel would be johnny’s ava in this context. they don’t have the same arc at all or the same bond but miguel is sort of this door for johnny into the modern world and all it includes.

in my mind, after his fall from grace (and i will get into that), johnny becomes a bit of a recluse. she moves from the heart of LA to a much more secluded place where she does what canon johnny does at the start of cobra kai, she works for a fixing company and makes very little money doing gigs. she doesn’t live from acting at all, she barely gets royalties and she doesn’t have ANY contact with her old friends and costars. miguel moves in her building where she has never been recognized before. in opposition to the face claims i gave, this johnny has gotten a bit more masc and butch in her older age and people wouldn’t immediately associate her now to the image of America’s Sweetheart Joanna Lawrence who was once in every magazine and was a double sided poster (on one side, johnny with her teased to hell blond hair, posing in roller skates with neon shorts and a shirt that says LOS ANGELES, on the other side, johnny at the beach, playing volleyball in a red bikini. she was everyone’s crush, she was THE sitcom it girl) but miguel does recognise her because he and rosa watch a lot of reruns from the 80´s comedy show she and danielle were in and he tries to befriend her for an autograph.

in doing so, miguel explains to johnny that a lot of people would pay a nice amount of money for autographs, for interviews, anything from this actress that disappeared from the public’s eye. the show back then was extremely popular and the 80´s nostalgia has hit america. johnny, for money but also to prove herself she can be more than what the world has told her, tries to reboot the show as an actress and writer (with miguel’s help) and that is when her path crosses danielle’s once again.

as for johnny’s downfall, there were rumors of alcohol (true), drugs (true), homosexuality (true) and her sleeping her way to the top (untrue and that’s why she was blacklisted for so long). she was arrested at 25 years old for crashing her car inside her manager’s house. it was seen as a coke fuelled accident (but in truth, johnny might have tried to murder kreese) and it completely burned her reputation.

miguel, robby and sam are all around 21/22 here because i admit getting a bit tired of writing high school experiences and also because i love the idea of johnny with a team of writers who are all so young and so social media trained that they have to block her out of twitter so she doesn’t get canceled before she can get back into the spotlight. aisha and tory will also make an appearance (and maybe the binary brothers as well).

danielle, as stated in my first post, is an A list celebrity (think kind of meryl streep ish in terms of legend BUT she hasn’t been filming in a long while). since miyagi’s death, danielle has had a hard time getting back onto the saddle of acting, motherhood is also extremely hard when you’re stuck in an heterosexual marriage as a lesbian, your daughter has fallen into some bad crowds and your son would sell pictures of you to TMZ for fortnite skins if you weren’t already paying for everything. she has been thinking of directing more and more (she has refused to do too much to her face and body apart from some hair dyes and a little botox which means that even if she did want to film, she won’t find a good role) and she has the ambition of maybe rebooting this 80´s comedy show she was once a part of but as a lead and director this time so when she learns that johnny is already on the case, she loses her mind a little.

i feel like im already giving quite a bit away here but im actually very excited to get into writing this!!!

thank you again, anon!!! you’re loooovely

[longhands-the-second]

First thoughts on Trimax volume 1

1-

I appreciate eriks. Just like, generally. I love how scruffy he is lol.

I do wonder if he’d let his hair grow out like that if he wasn’t in hiding??? He’s had the same haircut since he was a kid though so idk. He’s very attached to his whole look, it seems.

2-

When and how did he replace his prosthetic? What was that like?

WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS I LOVE HIM

YES INDEED, THAT WAS “FUCKIN STUPID” (Wolfwood says fuck guys omg good for him he deserves it)

I laughed out loud for real though I definitely woke up my roommate on accident oops

Oh god the hair. It’s fuckinh coming. The gut punch. (<- does not know the specifics)

Seeing him with the stubble AND the normal hair is doing something bad to my brain. Fix it. It doesn’t compute.

3-

THE GORLS!!!!

Her hair is. Not exactly bad but that’s not my Meryl.

New Miami, huh? I’m so excited to get absolutely no elaboration on this ever.

Shoutout to the little dude on page 84 who looks like fuckin Wallace

Oh. My god. How many times did he just get shot

OH MY GOD GOOD FOR THEM. God I love milly

Wolfwood is such a chickenshit.

4-

I wonder if Vash has conceptualized himself as human up to this point, and where he’s at with that now?

DAMN I wish I was that balanced

I uh. Man. Wow. I kind of want to make fun of him for doing the most Anime Shit Ever

[redacted]

Babygirl i promise you he knows how plants work lmao

Y’all really weren’t joking about the panty shots

Brad is ALSO a shit. We can’t win here.

Oh. My question is being answered. I don’t like it very much.

On the face of it, I'm pretty solidly in Nico's corner here.

5-

I love how clearly i can hear his little song in my head.

He’s full in monke mode. Just an absolute ape.

AGAIN WITH THE CROTCH SHOTS

love that nightow definitely just got sick of drawing the bullet holes in the coat

Actually looking at this a little harder he did simplify a lot of details. Good refinement, though i do miss the belts.

Vash who the fuck are you calling old. Is the old man in the room with us right now? (Yes)

6-

Oh fucking hell.

I wonder how vash looks at humanity specifically . Is it really something familial? Or is that changing as we progress? I do see how he could be operating from that angle.

My other real question is just how old is he, like, mentally? He really does seem to have the mindset of somebody in his 20s. Knives too? Maybe that’s a thing with them, but i’ll hold off on saying anything conclusive until later. Maybe i’m too quick to say they’re both immature.

I’m sorry it genuinely makes me happy to see characters swear like real people. Wolfwood is so much more fun here.

~~~

I hate that I'm going to get through these so much quicker now, especially now that i’m especially hooked. I’m genuinely considering reading ahead but i think i’ll explode if i do. Time will tell.

I may not get around to coloring pages in the next two weeks and just go absolutely hog wild once my class is over. I have to make my own damn comic for once lmao. Ofc i have 0 impulse control so who knows.

[screechthemighty]

Update, I'm still awake, so here's TriMax vol. 1 notes! Again please note these are off the cuff first read reactions and while I tried to get as many major CWs as possible, I may have missed some. In general, assume TriMax is going to have upsetting content at least once per chapter.

TriMax Notes: Volume One

TriMax #1.1: Hero Reborn

Content warnings: mention of a minor being sexually harassed (possibly groped, can’t remember?)

Wolfwood: I’m a minister Barkeep: Oh, good, we need someone for the funerals

…oh, no, Lina RULES

Girl is twelve and deadass cooler than I’ll ever be

“It’s Eriks again” WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN???

To summarize: Lina fought back when harrassed, they took it personal, Vash/Eriks humiliated himself to try and protect her and they shot him anyway and took Lina. Cool!

“This guy’s got the devil’s own luck” that feels like a callback [Note: It was, Trigun 1.7]

So in this timeline he for sure remembers and retired to protect everyone…oof

“Well, that’s who it is. Someone’s gotta show their fangs or someone else is gonna cry.” (WW) Ah yes, the ideological conflict

So they LITERALLY just demolished that place so fast LMAO, Eff around, find out

Backtrack note: Vash responding to the gun with “how cruel” …oof

Vash: drops the gun, catches it, drops the faker in 6 non-lethal shots without hurting Lina Me: HAHA YES!!!

TriMax #1.2: Lina

Wolfwood’s been back like five seconds and they’re already engaging in Sibling Behavior fighting over food

“When the time is right, you’ll know [why I know so much]...for now, let’s just say there’s a debt to settle” UH HUH…

“Your eyes have seen a lot, haven’t they?” (Lina to Vash) Puts in pocket

Gang member: starts monologuing Vash: Absolutely Not *starts approaching with malicious intent*

NOOOO THEY WERE FAMILY…

“In my weakest moment, it was you that protected me.” HELP???

TriMax #1.3: Girls, Bravo!

Okay so Keele is a dick and Vash + WW are going to eat him alive if he actually gets to them

Okay yeah Bernadelli decided to keep rates low by murdering the problem, cool.

“The guy’s an insurance agent! Be careful!” / “Don’t be stupid, he’s obviously a hitman” LMAO

MERYL!! QUEEN!!

MILLY!!!

And then they just go back on vacation after saving his ass AGAIN, I love them

Wolfwood with the hot sauce on OPEN WOUNDS…BRO

Trimax #1.4: Hero Returns

Knives still not having a visible face in flashbacks

“Don’t ever compare us to those faceless vermin” when Knives remains faceless so often himself…hmm

Okay there, one-handed vertical pushup showoff!! Damn!!

BRAD?????

And then they find Vash getting beat up by kids LMAO

Also “Knives knows things about my body that I don’t” is a BIG oof

NOT WW CRAWLING THROUGH THE CROWD FOR FRONT ROW CRIME SEATS

TriMax #1.5: Dancing Revolver

The geranium scene! Interesting how Knives isn’t here this time

Vash using the grenade flash to vanish…his songwriting needs work but his sense of drama is impeccable

So the coat IS bulletproof, explains a LOT

“That’s a real shame. Negotiations have officially broken down!” Oh, Vash

SHOOTING THE LUGGAGE RACKS TO GET THEM!! MY MAN!!!

TriMax #1.6: Sin

Content Warnings: aftermath of a rape/murder seen (lower legs poking out of a sheet, blood, crime-drama level of graphic, basically), references to rape, generally just an upsetting read

“He’s fine” Well. Emotionally, Vash is about to be Very Not Fine.

Vash thinking of both Rem AND Knives and just freezes…oof

“He just couldn’t kill a man in cold blood. His daughter’s murder goes unpunished. Call him weak, but it saved both of us.” OHHHH THERE’S A LOT THERE…

“Vash the Stampede’s idea of ‘kin’ stretches way beyond the norm” AAAAAAAAAAA [Note: obviously this transcription does not capture how shitty my handwriting to when writing that scream]

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part VI. (Harry Styles)

part 6 omg!!! ahh, these christmas chapters are my favs, i hope yall will like them asmuch as i do! as always, feedback is much appreciated!

word count: 4.1k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

“So how did you two exactly meet?” your dad asks over the dinner table. You are all sitting around the long pine table, the tremendous amount of food lining in the middle as the plates are going around, getting filled.

“Oh, um, we were set up, actually. It was all Rosa,” you admit with a soft chuckle, sharing a look with Marcus beside you. 

“I just thought they would be a good match, guess I was right,” Rosa grins, clearly satisfied with the work she’s done.

“What do you do for a living, Marcus?” Jeremy chimes in while helping Margaret cut her meat beside him. She is the youngest of the cousins, only five, but she can boss around anyone as if she was Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. 

“Oh, I work in sales. We had a project with Steven’s company, that’s where we met.”

“That sounds interesting,” Joe nods, but at the same time you hear Harry huff on the other end of the table. Looking in his way you see him with his eyes fixed on the plate. He hasn’t said a word since Marcus arrived and his silence is quite worrying if you’re being honest. You haven’t seen him be silent for this long ever, you’re afraid he might be plotting something. 

“It’s so weird that all four of us are here with a significant other this year. I remember when we were all just kids, running around in our backyard,” Etta sighs with a nostalgic smile.

Your eyes wander over to Harry, who is still relentlessly staring down at his plate, as if he wasn’t even there. 

“Yeah, now there are just two single people sitting at the table. Aunt Monica and Harry,” you say and his head finally snaps up, eyes meeting yours, but you can’t read them. 

“You’re single?” Lily asks Harry, leaning forward a little so she can see him since they are sitting on the same side of the table. 

“I, uhh--I am, yeah,” he nods, clearly uncomfortable he is being discussed all of a sudden.

“Would have sworn you have someone waiting for you at home.”

“No, it’s just me,” he shakes his head. “Maybe I could pair up with Aunt Monica so there wouldn’t be any single people,” he jokes, making everyone laugh at the table. Aunt Monica looks up from her plate and winks at Harry.

“I’ll leave my door open for the night,” she cheekily comments and Harry almost chokes on his wine as another round of laugh runs over the table.

“Monica, he is not a lonely soldier,” your mom tells her, but she just shrugs her shoulders grabbing her glass and downing the rest of her wine. Joe is quick to refill it for her, knowing well she was about to ask someone to do that for her. 

“Thanks for the offer though,” Harry nods shyly and you think it’s hilarious how his cheeks have turned red from a nasty comment your aunt made. 

His eyes find you again right when Marcus reaches over and squeezes your thigh gently under the table and you catch Harry’s grimace before you turn to your boyfriend and share a short peck on the lips. 

For your biggest surprise Harry doesn’t try to drop any nasty comments about you during dinner, not even after, when all adults gather in the living room while the kids leave to play video games in their room. Rosa is sitting on Harry’s thigh as he is supporting her back, letting her curiously look around in the room. You’re sitting on a loveseat with Marcus, curled up to his side and he has an arm around your shoulders. Occasionally you catch Harry’s eyes on the two of you, but you try to pay little attention to him and just enjoy the evening.

“I should get going soon,” Marcus tells you, checking the time. It’s past ten and he has to leave early in the morning.

“Why don’t you stay for the night?” Teresa asks when she sees the two of you getting up from the sofa.

“Oh, I didn’t want to bother too long, it’s my first time meeting you all, thought a dinner would be just enough,” Marcus chuckles and you bite into your bottom lip. Does he believe this or did he want to stay, but only tells this everyone because you didn’t invite him to stay the night? You’re not sure if you want to know the real answer...

“Silly, you don’t bother,” you mom huffs. “Isn’t it too late to drive home?”

“I’m fine, but thank you. I didn’t bring my stuff so I would have to leave extra early in the morning to make it in time. But thank you for having me, it was wonderful meeting you all.”

Marcus goes around and says his goodbye to everyone before the two of you head to the front door. 

“Drive safe, text me when you get home, alright?” you tell him as he throws his coat to the passenger seat before turning to face you. 

“Yeah. Have fun with your family and I’ll see you in a few days.” A genuine smile stretches across his face and it immediately triggers your guilt. He could have stayed the night avoiding to drive back to the city so late, but even now, standing out on the driveway you don’t feel like you want him to stay for longer. 

What you keep telling yourself is that it’s all because you haven’t been together that long and it would have been a too big of a step just yet. Seemingly Marcus is fine with your choice, but something is telling you that it bugs him deep inside. 

Leaning down he kisses you softly, a hand sliding to your waist and pulling you closer before you part your ways. Standing on the side you wave at him as he backs out of the driveway and disappears in the darkness of the woods. 

You stay out there for a little longer, the spicy coldness of the night feels numbing in a soothing way. Chewing on your bottom lip you contemplate if you’ve made the right choice by not inviting him to stay. You don’t find an answer for that before you head back inside.

Not much has changed since you left, but you notice that Valerie is back in Rosa’s hands and Harry is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Harry?” you ask sitting on the ground next to your sister, eyes on Valerie as she is adorably babbling at you.

“He said he’s tired, went to bed.”

You look in his room’s way. That sounded like absolute bullshit, but you don’t have a right to question it. Maybe he truly was tired, he probably had to wake up quite early to pick you up and be here in time.

Nodding you reach for Valerie and take the little girl into your arms, making yourself busy with her.

***

Tossing once again in the bed you growl in annoyance. You haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep since you’ve come to bed hours ago. Turning to your side you tap on the screen of your phone and it shows you that it’s already past two in the morning. No position feels comfortable anymore and you’ve flipped your pillow way too many times, there are no cold side anymore. 

On cue, your stomach growls and you let out a sigh staring up at the ceiling. Maybe if you had a late night snack your body would finally relax and let you rest. Kicking the covers off you put on a pair of fuzzy socks and throw a hoodie on before heading out to the kitchen to find something you could feast on. 

You stop in your way surprised when you see that the lights are on in the kitchen and someone is clearly out there, probably with the same intention as you. Walking down the hallway you hear a plate getting placed on the kitchen island and soon enough the person starts eating, the fork meeting the plate.

Harry is sitting at the kitchen island in a plain white t-shirt and checkered pajama pants, a plate of mashed potatoes and meatloaf sitting in front of him. His head snaps up immediately when he hears that someone has joined him and you stop at the door.

“Hey,” you smile softly. “I see I’m not the only one having trouble with sleeping,” you chuckle shuffling your way to the fridge. 

“I don’t sleep too well at new places,” he admits, eyes following your frame as you pass by him before he turns his attention back to his plate. 

Grabbing the milk you are about to close the fridge when your eyes lay on the absurd amount of eggnog. Hesitantly you grab a bottle and take it out as well, thinking that a few sips might help you fall asleep easier. Then you grab the cookies the kids decorated this afternoon and sit on a stool next to Harry.

“Woah, in need of having some fun?” he chuckles seeing the eggnog and you just shrug your shoulders, pouring milk into a regular glass, then some eggnog into a smaller one in hopes you won’t go overboard with it. 

“I’m just… having a hard time falling asleep.”

“Empty bed?”

“What?” you ask taking a bite from a cookie.

“I mean, Marcus left. You must be used to sleeping next to him,” Harry explains and you look back at him with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Well, I do sleep better with someone next to me, but it’s not like I’ve done that a lot with Marcus,” you admit, turning your attention back to the cookies.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” you shrug, not really in the mood to get into it, because it’s a whole spiral that would bring you down into depths you definitely don’t want to talk about right now. 

“You haven’t slept with Marcus?” he asks, and you notice how it could mean two versions. Either he is only talking about just sleeping or he is nosily trying to find out if you’ve had sex with him.

“That is… none of your business,” you tell him with a soft chuckle. Harry holds his hands up innocently before returning to his plate. 

A few minutes pass by in silence, just your munching and Harry’s chewing breaking it. As you pour a little more eggnog to yourself Harry stands up from the stool upon finishing his food, and after putting his plate to the sink he gets a glass for himself and sits back, holding the glass in your way.

“Want to have some fun too?” you ask, but pour him some eggnog anyway.

“Might help me fall asleep too.”

“Sometimes I feel like mom is right saying that I have a drinking problem,” you snort finishing up your cookie.

“Don’t think that’s true,” Harry tells you with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Well, you have seen me drunk quite a few times, but it’s nice that you think it’s alright.”

“What’s wrong with having a few drinks occasionally? It’s not like you blackout every other day.”

“My mom would want me to never blackout in general, but I don’t seem to know my boundaries with alcohol,” you tell him with a sigh.

“Happens to everyone, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Thanks, but I’m sitting here at two in the morning, drinking eggnog for no specific reason, because it surely won’t help me sleep, so... Maybe there is some truth to it.”

Harry thinks to himself a little before pouring some more to himself and some into your glass as well.

“I literally just said that I should stop,” you say, giving him a puzzled look.

“It’s fine if you have a reason,” he answers with a cheeky smile. “We’re gonna play never have I ever.”

“Oh hell no!” you chuckle looking at him with wide eyes.

“What? Are you afraid I might find out something nasty about you?” he challenges you, clearly trying to push you to play. “I don’t think you can surprise me with anything.”

“Excuse me? That’s pretty hurtful you think I don’t have surprising secrets,” you say putting a hand to your chest. “I think I’m the one who can’t find out anything surprising about you.”

“Hah, we’ll see, Y/N. All you gotta do is play,” he smirks and you already know you’re fucked. Sighing you take your glass and look at him with a murderous look, but the corners of your mouth are curling up. “You can start, just so you see how generous I am.”

“Oh, what a gentleman,” you mock him. “Okay. Never have I ever… gotten into a physical fight,” you say and watch Harry raise his glass to his mouth, but at the same time you do the same, already sure he is gonna be shocked.

Just as you expected, he freezes seeing you take a sip from your eggnog.

“Alright, rule is that we gotta explain them, because there’s no way you’re leaving without telling me about who you got into a fight with,” he tells you pointing a finger at you, but then adds: “Fighting with your sister does not count, Y/N.”

“It wasn’t Rosa,” you chuckle. “I had a huge fight with my best friend in third grade and we somehow ended up kicking and punching each other in the middle of the gym in class. We were both sent to the principal’s office.”

“Who would have thought you were a feisty little kid!” Harry chuckles and you just shrug with a proud smile.

“See? I told you I can surprise you. Your turn.”

“Okay. Never have I ever had a threesome,” he easily says and brings his glass up to his mouth as you stay put this time.

“If you think I’m surprised, I’m not. It’s literally written on your forehead that you’re the kind who enjoys that kind of stuff,” you scoff.

“Oh, please. Don’t pretend like you haven’t even thought about having one.”

“I’m not admitting anything outside the game. You have to ask that next if you are that interested,” you smirk, but you’re certain your eyes give you away, because Harry is chuckling and shaking his head. “Never have I ever cheated on someone,” you say and watch Harry’s glass stay on the counter.

“I’m not that bad of a person.”

“Never said you are, I was just curious,” you shrug and nod at him letting him know it’s his turn again.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a teacher of mine.”

You both drink.

“My finance professor, junior year in college,” you inform him.

“English teacher, senior year in high school,” Harry replies and you are already picturing him sitting in the first row just to be close to her during class.

“Did you write poems to her too?”

“You said no questions outside the game!” he retorts laughing and you roll your eyes at him.

“Alright, I have thought about having a threesome before, now your turn, spill the tea!”

“I wrote a song about her,” he admits and you raise your eyebrows at him. “Even planned on showing it to her, but my friends talked me down, luckily.”

“It’s kinda sweet and romantic.”

“Yeah, and very inappropriate,” he adds chuckling. “Alright, enough of Miss Hastings, your turn.”

“Never have I ever stolen something.” You both raise your glass and you smile at him swallowing the alcohol. “Virginities do not count,” you tease him, earning a laugh.

“Still would have drank. I was a little kleptomaniac when I was a kid. Liked to steal small things in the store just to see if I would get caught.”

“And were you ever?”

“One time, yeah. My mom was so mad at me, I got grounded for a week, never stole anything again,” he admits chuckling. “What about you?”

“It wasn’t regular, but I definitely have stolen candies when I didn’t have enough money to pay.”

“What a rebel,” he teases you and you just smack his upper arm jokingly. “Never have I ever snuck out.” Only Harry drinks and you roll your eyes at him.

“Again, not surprising.”

“I just wanted to know if you have ever snuck out, chill,” he smirks. “Guess you were a saint.”

“Never have I ever said the wrong person’s name while having sex.” A devilish smile sits on your lips as you watch him drink while you do the same. You see his eyebrows rise over the glass.

“Nasty,” he huffs. “When did that happen?”

“First year of college. I was casually seeing a guy, but I wasn’t really over my last ex from high school and accidentally called him Ethan.”

“And what was his real name?”

“I don’t even remember,” you admit with a laugh, clearly feeling the alcohol slowly kicking in. Harry’s mouth hangs open before his expressions turn into that iconic ‘not bad’ face.

“Never have I ever had a wet dream about a friend of mine,” Harry asks and you feel your cheeks heating up right away, eyes snapping down at your glass. Unwillingly, but you drink as Harry does the same. “Who was it?”

“I’m not answering this one,” you shake your head. 

“Come on! I promise it’ll stay between us. Was it Steven?” he grins at you, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “I bet it was Steven.”

“Shut up, it wasn’t!” you snap at him rolling your eyes.

“Okay, then who? I won’t sleep tonight if you don’t tell me!” he begs, but you shake your head stubbornly. “Do I know him?” Oh, all too well, you think to yourself. “Is it someone who was there at the bar last time?”

“Can we move past it?” you sigh painfully.

“No, no way. I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me!”

“It was you.”

The words slip out fast and a little quiet, but he hears them clear. His lips part, a truly stunned look pulls on his face and you just wish you didn’t say a word.

“Happy? Now you know,” you snap running a hand through your hair.

“Was I any good in your dream?” he then cheekily asks and you gasp at the nosy, nasty question.

“Now that I won’t answer.”

“I have to know if I did good!” he protests and you laugh.

“It wasn’t even you, well, not your real version, why does it matter?”

“I’m a maximalist, I have to know if my dream self did good,” he pushes further and you can’t believe this is really what you’re talking about.

“Jesus fucking Christ, it was good!” you admit throwing your hands into the air, giving up to keep anything to yourself. He is just too damn annoying and stubborn to ever have anything other than his way.

“If that makes you feel better, I’ve had a few about you as well,” he admits with a straight face and the heat is back in your cheeks immediately.

“A few?”

“I didn’t count, but yeah. And you were awesome, if you’re interested.”

“Thanks, but I was not,” you say with a meaningful look, but he just smirks at you. “You’re such a pig, Styles.”

“Says the girl who was probably moaning my name in her dreams.”

“If you keep talking about this, you’ll be the second person I get into a physical fight with,” you warn him and he chuckles, but takes the hint and finally moves on. 

You easily forget about time as you keep playing for quite long. Question after question, some shocking and surprising things come up, but there are some absolutely ridiculous facts too. You’re definitely over the line of being tipsy, but you’re not at the drunk state yet. 

Harry clearly enjoys asking questions that make you nervous, but you don’t shy away from risky questions either. By the time the bottle empties out you are both laughing on something he said, your eyes are teary and you gasp for air, holding onto the edge of the kitchen island.

“Oh fuck!” you breathe out when your gaze wanders over to the windows and you see that it’s starting to brighten out there. “The Sun is coming up, what time is it?” you slur, having a hard time to get off the stool and keep your balance at the same time. Harry fishes his phone out of his pocket and his eyes widen.

“It’s six in the morning!” he whisper-yells and you almost faint.

“Shit, mom is usually up around six thirty, she can’t find us here like this! Quickly, we have to clean up!”

Harry takes care of the empty eggnog bottle while you wash the dishes and then the two of you head back to your rooms, but you just really don’t want to go to bed alone. Alcohol tends to make you clingy and you need the presence of someone next to you.

“Harry,” you whisper as the two of you stop in the hallway.

“Hm?” he hums, looking back at you with glassy eyes.

“Can I… sleep at yours?” you shyly ask.

Part of you expects a smart comeback, something dirty, but he looks down at you for a long moment as if he is debating what he should say and you start to think he is about to reject you, but then he takes your hand and pulls you in the direction of his room.

“It’s strictly friendly, okay?” you tell him once the two of you are in his room and the door is closed behind you.

“Like the dream you had about me?” he cockily asks grinning at you and you’re quick to smack his hard chest, making him chuckle.

“Shut up! I just really don’t want to sleep alone.”

“Chill, it’s all good,” he chuckles and stepping to the nightstand he plugs his phone in to charge as you crawl up to the huge, comfortable bed.

Tugging a pillow under your head you turn your back against him, only hearing as he lies down next to you, tugging some of the cover off you since there’s only a big one. He shuffles a bit more until you both stop moving, but you still have your eyes open. 

Knowing that he is right there behind you irks your mind and the urge to cuddle to his side is stronger than you will to stay still. You want to feel his body heat, his touch, hear his heartbeat under your face as you curl up to his side. You are dying to listen to his steady breathing from up close and your self-control is slowly but surely dissolves. 

Before your rational side could talk you down, you find yourself turning around and snuggling to his side, a soft chuckle emitting from his lips.

“It’s totally friendly, wipe the satisfied grin off your stupid face,” you mumble as you lay your head to his shoulder, bringing a hand up to his chest. One of his arms curl around your shoulders as he stays silent, letting you snuggle up to him all you want. 

It’s even better than you remembered. Last time the two of you were like this, the morning ruined everything and it had a whole different antecedent than now. You can only hope history doesn’t repeat itself and you don’t have to go through the same embarrassment like last time.

“Y/N?” he whispers and your eyes open at his voice.

“Yeah?” There’s a short pause before he speaks up again.

“Do you really… think that… there was not much Etta was missing?”

You can’t stop yourself from smiling at how self-conscious he just sounded, still thinking about the joke you made in the car on your way here. For a split second you think about lying again, but it’s clearly been bothering him, so much he felt the need to ask after several rounds of eggnog.

“No. I was just joking,” you admit and he lets out a relieved sigh. “Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really think I have a fat ass?” you ask referring back to the time the two of you encountered at the hospital when Valerie was born. You feel him huff as his hand on your shoulder squeezes you gently.

“You have a great ass, Y/N. The best I’ve ever seen.”

“Are you just exaggerating?” you ask, lifting your head up and narrowing your eyes at him in the dark.

“No,” he smiles. “Swear to my sister’s life it’s the truth.”

Knowing well he wouldn’t bring his sister into it if he wasn’t telling the truth, you put back down your head, finally closing your eyes.

“Good night, Harry,” you mumble, feeling yourself drifting to sleep.

“Good night, Pretty Eyes.”

PREVIOUS PART

NEXT PART

TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

@f-vasquezp​ @perspnhel​ @http-cherries​  @h-arrystyles​ @just-damn-bored​ @millennial-teenybopper​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @gwenlovesharrystyles​ @perfectywrong​ @do-youseeme​ @burberryharold​  @irwindoll​ @stylesfics-xx​ @sltwins @mellamolayla​

[reallivegeekgirl]

StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

[army-of-mai-lovers]

I’m not sure if you’ve answered this question before so apologies if you have! What’s the best movie you’ve seen?

anon this is such a nice ask thank you so much! the way I categorize movies is weird because there’s “best movie I’ve ever seen” like it’s the best technically and it’s written really well and it talks about important subjects and all that jazz, and then there’s “best movie I’ve ever seen” like it makes me feel good and I can look past any flaws because I just love it so much. So technically the best movie I’ve ever seen is Sorry to Bother You or Moonlight or Malcolm X or Get Out, which actually I’m planning to rewatch all of those soon bc Black History Month. StBY this really excellent allegorical critique of racial capitalism, and the layers of it are super interesting and weird and cool and the camera work and lighting and writing and acting are *amazing* and TESSA THOMPSON’S IN IT. And then I’m sure you’ve at least heard of Moonlight, but I know so many people who have *heard* of Moonlight and celebrated it winning the Oscar for best picture but haven’t actually watched it, or don’t think about it anymore, and honestly I really hate that. So, if you haven’t seen it, it’s a wonderful film, the acting and direction and writing is absolutely spectacular, and I’m honestly crying just thinking about it. Also, JANELLE MONAE’S IN IT. And then there’s Malcolm X, which honestly, all biopics should aspire to be that good. Spike Lee definitely has a style and sometimes that style gets to be a lot, but in this movie it actually works really well and draws you in. I’ll be honest about halfway through I just forgot I was watching a movie at all, and when the credits started rolling I couldn’t even process that Angela Bassett had been playing Betty Shabazz and that I hadn’t just been watching Betty Shabazz. If you’ve never seen Angela Bassett in anything but Black Panther, do yourself a favor, and watch Malcolm X. 

Speaking of, honorable mentions to Black Panther, Waves, and Frida. I remember seeing Black Panther in theaters with my white cishet dude nerd friend and feeling like I had just been transported to another plane, and I looked over at him and asked him what he thought and he was like “yeah it was good.” And then we saw Infinity War a month later and he was like HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AMAZING. I and every other Black person I know except for my little sister saw Black Panther when it came out (even my mom, who hates movies) and it was just so affirming to see a cool big budget film from a franchise that I’ve been following since I was a kid release a movie that went beyond being a “race film” while still talking about issues that affect Black folks everywhere in a meaningful way. My brother made me watch Waves a few months ago (but I didn’t mind bc I will watch literally everything Sterling K. Brown is in) and it was technically beautiful and I loved it a lot, but also it was so violent and terrifying and I actually cannot watch it again for my own health so. Watch it at least once, if you’re the type of person who can rewatch Parasite then you’re the type of person who can watch this movie and be fine, I just can’t deal with violence like that. And Frida I had been meaning to watch and I finally sat down and did it like two months ago and it was absolutely fabulous. The director did a really good job blending the surrealistic elements with the more realistic ones, the acting was stellar, the story was told in such a moving way, cannot recommend enough. 

As for movies that bring me enough comfort and joy that I overlook their flaws--Birds of Prey, 27 Dresses, Mamma Mia, The Devil Wears Prada, Legally Blonde, Brooklyn, What a Girl Wants, and Sydney White. This is not to say that any of these movies are bad (although the Amanda Bynes ones are bad, that’s just a fact). What I’m saying is this is what I watch for fun, when I want to turn my brain off. And that might seem weird if you know anything about Brooklyn bc it’s very much an Oscar bait prestige picture, but I’ve seen it like ten times at this point, I get the point, honestly I can’t even tell you why I like that movie so much but it’s the only movie I’ve ever watched twice in the same day, like I literally finished the movie and started it over in that moment, and I don’t understand why. What a Girl Wants, Sydney White, Legally Blonde, and most recently Birds of Prey are my breakup/romantic disappointment movies, as in I put them in the rotation when I get dumped or stood up or rejected. Birds of Prey and Legally Blonde are of course actually good movies that make me feel more confident and better about myself, hence why I like them and put them in the rotation when I’m at my lowest, and the Amanda Bynes movies are there because they remind me of happier times in my childhood (and in the case of What A Girl Wants, Colin Firth is there). Mamma Mia and The Devil Wears Prada are there mostly because I love Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried and Anne Hathaway (but mostly Meryl) and they are just excellent feel good films (also the cerulean scene? I die every time). And 27 Dresses is my favorite rom com of all time, because I relate to Jane and yes that does concern me, and it falls in the Brooklyn category of frequent rewatches (though not *quite* as frequently)

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Cruella

Disclaimer: This is my non-spoiler review for Cruella, posting either the day or the day after the movie is released in the U.K, so if you are yet to see the movie and want to go in with a clear head do not read on until you do.

General Reaction:

Cruella however, I knew from the first trailer I was determined to see in cinemas and the fact it was my first time back in cinemas seeing a movie, I could not think of a better opening play.

It has been a while not only since I have been to the cinema, but also since I watched a new movie. Anything new that has come to me through the lockdowns have been older movies that are new to me. I haven't watched movies on PVOD or Premier Accees because I don't want to pay for them while in my bedroom on a small television and also they don't interest me enough to pay for them.

And that's what this movie is, an origin story. It's a Disney live-action adaptation of a beloved Disney villain's origins, sound familiar? That's what fans originally believed Maleficent to be before it became a redemption story of sorts.

Cruella was the villain of One Hundred and One Dalmatians because she wanted to skin puppies to make a coat, but this movie isn't about that, despite there being some excellent foreshadowing and even reworking as a prequel to the original story, this movie is about how Cruella became Cruella, not necessarily how she became a villain but making the character more three-dimensional and layered.

Here, without going into spoilers, we do see the reasoning behind Cruella being the villain we love her for and it is very much a nature vs nurture style of moral, but it isn't done to the detriment of the villainy Cruella is known for.

What Disney and the creatives behind Cruella have done with this movie is not only take note with everything great and bad with the more recent Disney live-action movies and filter out the bad, but also the potential of movies like Maleficent and even Mulan to a degree which failed to live up to their promises creatively, have seemingly been reworked for this origin story.

Does that mean she's not a villain in this movie? Well while she's not the movie's primary antagonist, Cruella stays true to herself and doesn't compromise why fans love the original character, if anything she amplifies why she's such a great character.

Cruella is such a love letter to the 1970s punk rock era while also managing to not just be style over substance but deliver on story and character as well, that I can't imagine anyone having that much of a problem with it.

It's what I would honestly call an artisan's delight, I'm not creative in a fashion sense, I love fashion and it's a reason I connect with Cruella so much, but I couldn't do what she does. I'd possibly be the Artie of her gang if not Horace and honestly I'm okay with that. But the way fashion, music and visual storytelling is used in this movies rivals the 1996 live-action 101 Dalmatians in that sense when scenes largely focused on the dogs selling the scenes without speaking. A picture paints a thousands words and Cruella's eccentric fashions were scene stealers.

It's funny, it's dramatic, it's well acted and directed. The writing is brilliant with maybe one exception with the Baroness which we will discuss in the spoiler review.

Speaking of spoilers. Way back when this movie was first announced I believe in 2016 I was adamantly against it, I thought it was sacrilege and that it would not be a patch on the original movies.

That being said, since seeing that first trailer and that stunning dress reveal I was hooked and have since watched pretty much every single trailer and TV spot this movie could churn out to the point where I feel I saw the entire movie already...but I was wrong.

From the trailers if you think this movie is going to end at a certain point you'd be wrong. I could kinda tell when the movie was going to end based on how the scene was set up, but even then there's more to the story.

I mentioned how this movie foreshadowed to the original One Hundred and One Dalmatians story as a prequel of sorts but also how it rewrote history so to speak, again the mid credits scene blows my mind as a Dalmatians fan and it cries out for a sequel.

However, to sum up, the original 1961 animated One Hundred and One Dalmatians is to this day my favourite movie of all time. Dalmatians are my favourite dog breed despite the fact I currently own a frenchie pug and Cruella De Vil I believe to be my spiritual mother.

Usually in these reactions I'll give a quick recap of my opinions of the movie or franchise the one in question is a part of, but I feel I've spoken about my love of all things Cruella De Vil and One Hundred and One Dalmatians enough in the past to get the point across.

All that being said, I am trying to compartmentalise my thoughts and be unbiased in my opinions for this movie. But honestly if this movie was bad I'd be coming down the hardest out of any critic on it because of what the property means to me personally.

So yes, I am going to big this movie up because pretty much every single element in this movie is 99% perfect. There is room for improvement, but that's where a sequel comes in to not only capitalise but better itself. And keeping the same creative team and bringing back the same cast, I feel this will be the Disney sequel to break the mould just as Cruella is the Disney movie to break the mould

But I have hyped up the lore and the character enough, what do I think of the movie? Well as much as I praised the creatives behind the movie for such a fabulous movie, director Chris Gillespe is partially to blame for how the movie looks. It’s still a visually orgasmic movie in terms of how it portrays its artistic choices, but in terms of those scenes and shots that could’ve been and should’ve been as visually pleasing as the fashion and art shots, just don’t leave as striking and lasting an impression as those shots and scenes.

Cast:

Honestly upon the announcement, to the point where I made a rant session post about it, Emma Stone as Cruella just didn’t land with me upon said announcement. However, as I said since seeing the first trailer, Emma Stone is young Cruella for me.

Glenn Close for me is Cruella De Vil in live-action. Victoria Smurfit on Once Upon a Time was fabulous but in opinion an elseworlds version of Cruella because she had magic and her story wasn’t really in line with the source material. Now, without spoilers but because it’s an origin you kinda can guess, Emma Stone’s version isn’t really in line with the source material either and up until seeing the movie I was all for viewing this version as an elseworlds story. even after seeing it I am all for viewing it as an elseworlds story from the original source material.

But does that mean it’s bad? No it’s just different. As I said earlier this is definitely a more fleshed out three-dimensional version of the Cruella that the original animated version and Glenn Close’s adaptation delivered, but honestly I’m excited to know where this Cruella goes from after seeing this movie. This is my favourite Emma Stone performance to date.

As for the other Emma, Emma Thompson as the Baroness, well she and Stone’s Cruella not only capitalize on Meryl Streep’s The Devil Wears Prada performance, but also adds that extra layer that make both characters not only believable as people but also villains. There’s no mistaking Thompson’s Baroness is a villain, but she does it in the best way and has never looked more fantastic doing so.

This movie also humanizes Jasper and Horace for me, I’m still unsure as to their relationship, if they’re friends or brothers, but based on the fact Jasper is race-bent in this movie and Hotace is still caucasian I’m going with not. However, without spoilers, based on how they meet Cruella I’m in favour of them not being related and simply lost souls coming together. But yeah they’re both funny, you believe they’re Jasper and Horace there’s no thinking one should be the other, and the chemistry between Jasper and Cruella is so electric that it demands a pay off in a sequel and actually speaks to a problem I know some male fans (including me) may actually have with Cruella as a character.

The other biggest breakout in this movie is John McCrea as Artie, who is not only Disney’s first clearly openly LGBT character but a scene-stealer in every shot that he is in. I said I would probably be Artie or Horace in Cruella’s gang and I stand by that because I think Artie is who I’d want to be (aside from Cruella herself) but Horace is physically who I would be.

Then as for the side characters, the movie does an interesting turn on the Anita/Roger origin story, Mark Strong as the Alonzo substitute is mysterious and brilliant, and the dogs are again scene stealers. Aside from 3 dalmatians (who are still alive at the end) there are two completely original new dogs who are part of Cruella’s gang and whether or not it’s because I’m a dog lover and own a dog or just because of the dog’s direction, they just pull focus every scene and make the characters more sympathetic because of how they interact with them.

Is this a knockout movie? Unfortunately no, I feel mistakes are made that leave holes for trolls to swoop in, however, I don’t think they should/ Honestly uou cannot make the “live-action” The Lion King a billion dollar flick and then complain about this movie, this is original, brilliant and 95% well executed. Yes I’ve dropped from 99 and we will discuss the issues in the spoiler review.

Recommendation:

But honestly this movie is worth the watch, it deserves the watch. As for seeing it in cinemas vs. Disney+, I could say it’s worth the £20/$30, but to get a true feel of some of the bigger and better artistic scenes it demands a big screen viewing. Also support local cinemas and all that jazz.

So that’s my non-spoiler review for Cruella, what did you guys think? Post your comments and stay tuned for my spoiler review hopefully coming soon, meanwhile you can check out other Movie Reviews and posts.

[365days365movies]

February 3, 2021: Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

The year: 1986. A small new fictionation is founded as part of a disparate group of similar territories. Near to another civilization founded by Woody Allen (we’ll get to him later this month, whoof), a new settlement was founded by one Nora Ephron. It began with Heartburn, a rom-com starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson. While it was somewhat successful, it wasn’t exactly a dynamo by any means. And that is when Nora met the future Empress of her fictonation.

Her name was Meg Ryan, and the film...was When Harry Met Sally.

Ephron only wrote this film, rather than direct it. But it didn’t matter, as this film was CRAZY successful (and I’ll be watching it later this month). Some years past, and both Ryan and Ephron rose in power. Ephron became a director, Ryan became a movie star, and the two pillars would reunite for greater things. And THAT is when the future Empress met her Emperor.

Enter Joe vs. the Volcano, where Meg Ryan...met Tom Hanks.

Now, was this movie amazing? No, not from what I’ve heard. But the two new co-stars apparently made an impression on Hollywood at this point, as their respective stars would only grow brighter. And so, when 1993 came along, the three pillars finally met, and ascended to their true roles as the rulers of a now united Holy Romance Empire. And that film...was Sleepless in Seattle.

Time to witness a nation RISE. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start where all romantic comedies should start: at a Chicago graveyard!

Architect Sam Baldwin’s (Tom Hanks) wife, Maggie, has sadly passed away, leaving Sam and their son, Jonah (Ross Malinger). Sam’s clearly broken, understandably, and he decides to move from Chicago in order to leave behind the bittersweet memories of his wife. And where he’s headed? You know where.

Jimmy Durante’s rendition of “As Time Goes By”

Jimmy Durante sings us in (I love this song, for the record), and we head not to Seattle, but to Baltimore, 18 months afterwards. There, reporter Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) is going to a Christmas party with her new fiancée, Walter Jackson (Bill Pullman), which is announced to great aplomb at the party. Her brother Dennis is played by Niles from Frasier (David Hyde Pierce), and I nearly spit out my sandwich.

That night, Annie’s mother gives her her old wedding dress, and have a VERY frank conversation about their sexual relationships. It is...awkward. Anyway, the dress tears, which Annie sees as a sign. In any case, she still seems happy...I think. On the way to Walter’s parents’ place, she tunes into a radio talk show, where a child is making a Christmas wish to the station.

This child is, of course, Jonah, calling on behalf of his father from Seattle. He tells the host, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone (Caroline Aaron), that his father is lonely after his wife’s death, and that he wishes he had a new wife. She convinces Jonah to put him on the phone, and while he’s reluctant to do so (understandably), he accepts. All the while, Annie’s listening, and seems to sympathize deeply with him and his sarcastic responses.

However, Sam begins to open up, and Dr. Fieldstone christens him “Sleepless in Seattle,” after the fact that he doesn’t sleep much at all these days. His story resonates with a number of people, Annie included. A few people call in to respond to him, and at the end of the call, he describes how much and why he misses his wife. And I gotta be honest, I’m with Annie here. It is...very moving.

Damn you, Tom Hanks, it’s only 20 minutes in, why are you already making me FEEEEEEL?

The next day, it’s a splash, and over 2,000 women call in in response to this. This is discounted by her co-worker and friend, Becky (Rosie O’Donnell). At the New Year’s party soon after, she and Walter make a date to meet in New York City, and register for their eventual wedding. Meanwhile, Sam tucks Jonah in to sleep, as Nat King Cole serenades us (I ALSO love Nat King Cole, real talk) and Sam stares at the fireworks off of his houseboat.

And, mentally haunted by the ghost of his wife, he’s seemingly literally haunted by the ghost of his wife, Maggie (Carey Lowell). The next morning, he goes to help a client, Barbara (Dana Ivey), and his co-worker Jay Matthews (Rob Reiner) with a house, and finds out that everybody knows who he is at this point. Additionally, Jonah also give the radio station their address, and MANY women are now soliciting Sam, including...his third-grade teacher. Ew. EW.

Sam and Jonah next have a talk about whether or not a prospective new wife would have sex with Sam, and I wonder if sexual conversations with your parents are supposed to be this common, or if I’m just crazy. Because me and my Dad? Nuh-uh. And no worries if your relationship with your folks is like this, but mine DEFINITELY IS NOT, lemme tell you.

Annie and Walter prepare for bed, and Ray Charles sings them to sleep, followed by Carly Simon talking about the wee small hours of the morning. During those hours, Annie gets up, also unable to sleep, and turns on the Dr. Marcia Fieldstone show. During the highlight reel for the show, Disappointed in Denver notes that:

Everytime I come close to orgasm, he goes and makes himself a sandwich.

...Wow. Um. Asshole? And then Marcia tells her to make a sandwich for him beforehand, WHICH IS NOT SOLVING THE PROBLEM. Anyway, Sam is also featured in that highlight reel, and Annie cries again as he talks about his wife, and it’s a disproportionately long excerpt compared to the others, what the hell? Marooned in Miami is DISAPPOINTED now.

Annie goes to meet her brother Niles (he’s basically Niles from Frasier, seriously) the next day, and explains that she’s fantasizing about Sam, a man she’s never even MET. She’s also feeling doubt about her upcoming marriage, which is...interesting. I’ll get to that later. In Seattle, meanwhile, Sam asks Jay what it’s like as a single man in Seattle, and they have a conversation about how cute Sam’s butt is. Nice.

Upon the realization that his 9-year old son is hanging out with more girls than he is (yeah, there’s a kid named Jessica hanging out with him when Sam gets home, it’s awkward), Sam’s back in the saddle again (as the song indicates; that said, goddamn is the music choice on the nose sometimes, seriously). He calls a woman named Victoria (Barbara Garrick), and asks her out on a date.

Annie’s watching the movie An Affair to Remember (lateeeeeer) at Becky’s, as she’s lamenting her fixation on Sam, while also struggling to fully understand how she feels about Walter. Becky RIGHTFULLY accuses her of believing in Hollywood, movie love, which is demonstrated by Annie’s meaningless platitudes about her supposed love for Walter. This is while she’s writing a letter to Sam, then aborts it when she realizes what she’s doing. She sits on the couch with Becky, they mouth the words together in the movie, and they cry while I laugh, because that was funny.

Things aren’t as jovial for Sam and Jonah, as Jonah’s had a nightmare, and the two reminisce over missing their mother. Sam notes that Maggie could peel an apple in one long...curly...strip. You mean...like Annie was doing earlier? I see what you did there, movie. I see what you did there. As if to compound their invisible connection, both of them sit on a dock, staring into two separate oceans at night.

Sam proceeds to write a story for the paper on “Sleepless in Seattle,” and through some...mildly creepy personal invasion, she finds his address in Seattle, and a hell of a lot more personal information. Like I said, it’s a little creepy. Sam, meanwhile, is going on a date with Victoria, when Jonah opens a letter...from Annie.

Annie. What’re you doin’?

Jonah appears to IMMEDIATELY ship the two, but Sam quotes the coast-to-coast distance as being a bit too much, and goes on the date with Victoria. While on the date, Jonah tries to hook Sam up with Annie by getting him to agree to take them to New York City on Valentine’s Day. Damn, Jonah, you lookin’ to escape a whale, because you are BUILDING A GODDAMN SHIP

Victoria, a woman with an amazingly obnoxious laugh, does not rub off well on Jonah, or me, or my girlfriend. I’m really hoping that somehow, in SOME WAY, Victoria and Walter get together. He’s boring, she’s obnoxious, who knows? They might like each other. My ship...is being built.

Jonah, meanwhile, is TAKING THE FUCKING WHEEL of this ship. He calls the radio station once again, and Annie is alerted to this by Becky. She wakes up, punching Walter in the process (dude gets HURT), and goes downstairs to listen. Jonah’s telling the station that Victoria SUUUUUCKS, and straight up calls her “a ho.” He hangs up abruptly, and screams to stop his father from kissing Victoria. Annie, meanwhile, listens to this in the closet for some reason.

The next day, Jonah’s friend, Jessica, tells Jonah to send a letter to Annie on his father’s behalf. Meanwhile, Annie flies to Seattle in the guise of doing a story, when she’s actually going to try and meet Sam. Victoria, meanwhile, is leaving from the airport, where Sam and Jonah are seeing her off. Victoria basically implies that she’d like to ditch the kid and go fuck someplace sometime, which might FINALLY rub Sam the wrong way.

Sam talks to Jonah about the fact that he’s dating Victoria, not marrying her, and that she might not be the one for him. He also says that there’s no such thing as soul- 

-mates.

Yeah, they actually did just do that. Sam loses Annie at the airport, after immediately chasing after her. They’re perfect for each other, as Annie goes RIGHT to Sam’s houseboat address. She hangs around the neighborhood, and sees them having fun on the beach together as Harry Connick Jr. plays in the background. That night, she confides in Becky about her guilt in lying to Walter.

And if I can just say this...yeah, THAT isn’t great. I get that there’s some cinematic paegentry to the whole thing, but, like...tell your FIANCEE about your FEELINGS. It’s hard, yeah, duh, but YOU GOTTA DO IT. You most certainly owe it to Walter. At least she appears to know it, though.

Annie at the hotel

The next day, Annie goes once again to weirdly spy on Jonah, and sees him hug a woman very happily, and of course believes that that’s Victoria. However, this is his friend, Suzy (Rita Wilson), who’s visiting with her husband, Greg (Victor Garber). In any case, this leads to Sam and Annie seeing each other for the first time. He says hello. She says hello. Then she almost gets hit by a taxi, and she IMMEDIATELY flies back home WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUH

We find this out later, but the taxi and the fact that all she could say was “Hello” is actually all a reference to the film seen earlier, An Affair to Remember (again, later this month). This is also part of the repeating motif that this film has: signs. Y’know, the kind of “IT’S A SIGN” thing. However, the real twist here is that the signs are the ones that they can’t see. Like the apple and the hello thing. Not yet, anyway.

Also, dear lord, An Affair to Remember is just making EVERY woman in the film cry, even when they’re TALKING about it. And every time, the men just look at each other like “WOMEN, with their EMOTIONS and their VAGOOOOOOS.” Jesus, ‘90s movies. Even JESSICA (Gaby Hoffman), Jonah’s friend, the LITTLE GIRL, is crying at this movie. JESUS, I’m really interested in seeing this movie now.

Jessica and Jonah start conspiring on how to get to New York to meet Annie, and do so by FAKING AIRLINE TICKETS OK THEN. Meanwhile, Annie’s given up on the whole “Sleepless in Seattle” thing, and goes to meet Walter for their Valentine’s date in NYC. Walter rightfully comments that Annie’s seemed distant, and here’s the thing: Walter deserves better than this. Yeah, he’s BORING AS SHIT, but the dude’s committed to her, and she’s amazingly flaky in comparison. I dunno, maybe it’s because it’s Bill Pullman, but I feel bad for him.

Anyway, in New York, the two begin to rekindle their relationship, and Walter gets a ring for her at FUCKING TIFFANY’S HOLY SHIT. Meanwhile, Sam’s THIRSTY AS FUUUUUUUCK, and is leaving to spend the weekend with Victoria, which Jonah is NOT a fan of. This ship is gonna SAIL if JONAH HAS TO FLY TO NEW YORK CITY HIMSELF

So, Jonah flies to New York City himself, in order to...meet his new mother. This movie has some VERY interesting issues, Jesus. Jonah does, indeed go to the top of the Empire State Building to look for Annie, and he asks all the girls on the Observation Deck if they’re Annie. Which, of course, none of them are. Why?

Annie’s at dinner, that’s why, and at the FUCKING RAINBOW ROOM DEAR LORD HOW MUCH MONEY DOES WALTER MAKE? Sam also makes his way to New York, probably to DESTROY HIS CHILD

And at dinner, Annie actually redeems herself by telling Walter the ENTIRE TRUTH about her feelings, and about “Sleepless in Seattle.” And Walter is a CLASSY-ASS GUY ABOUT THE ENTIRE THING, and the two break off their engagement amicably. Annie says that she doesn’t deserve Walter, and BY GOD SHE’S RIGHT. Walter’s a sweet dude. And as soon as they break up...a sign.

Sam finds Jonah on the Observation Deck, and the two tearfully reunite. And as they two unite, and everybody else leaves the Observation Deck as it closes for the night, Annie rushes on her way there. An Affair to Remember is invoked one last time, as Annie convinces the guard to let her up there. But, OF GODDAMN COURSE...she goes up in one elevator, and Sam and Jonah head down in another.

But wait. Isn’t that Jonah’s backpack on the ground of the Observation Deck? 

Yup. THERE’S the happy ending we’re lookin’ for. They finally formally introduce each other, and Sam says that they’d better leave...ALL of them, together. Love at first sight. PLAY US OUT JIMMY DURANTE!!!! And yeah, I know that Celine Dion sings the end credits song, but NOPE! TAKE ME AWAY, JIMMY! MAKE ME HAPPY!

And that was Sleepless in Seattle! And again, I liked it! I’ll get more into it during the Review!

[godlydolans]

Can you do concept about y/n doing a cheating prank on Ethan 😳

I feel like pranking him will be so hard because he's just such a genius when it comes to pulling them on others and he also isn't the type to see something and react immediately. Ethan sits and observes things, never wants to jump to any conclusions, always wants to sit and talk things out if there is even a possibility of a misunderstanding happening.

So you know the prank will have to be long and really well thought out.

And you're willing to put in the effort to watch him take the L for the first time in his life.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," You announce as you place the iPad on the bed, the ebook you are currently reading still open on the page you're at.

Ethan looks up from his phone and raises a brow. "At 2 in the morning?"

Taking out a loose t-shirt from his wardrobe, you shrug your shoulders. "I'm all heated up. I gotta take a cold shower or I won't be able to sleep."

At the mention of a cold shower, both of Ethan's eyebrows went upto his hairline and his mouth dropped open. "Y/N, you'll freeze to death, babe! And if not that, you'll definitely catch a cold."

"I'll be fine." You respond a little rudely, making sure he caught the roll of your eyes as you turned for the bathroom. "I'll be out in a few."

You've been acting a little distant towards Ethan for a few days just so the 'cheating' would look more believable when he finally 'finds out'. Everytime you pull away from a hug or end a kiss too quickly, a part of your soul breaks. Ethan noticed a change in you a while ago and he has brought up your distant behaviour once, but you didn't entertain the conversation.

Thankfully, you won't have to carry on with the facade any longer because tonight is the night the actual prank would go down.

Hopefully.

Before leaving for your shower, you texted your best friend, whose contact name you've changed to Trevor for the time being, to call you once and then text you something scandelous.

Last night was fun. Let's do it again soon? Sounded too fake since it has been used so much by tv shows and movies alike so that line was scrapped.

So were some of the other lines you and your friend came up with, so you just told her to wing it.

You left your phone beside Ethan before leaving so hopefully, the call from 'Trevor' would get his attention and he would see the text that would follow.

And hopefully he would read the previous conversations that you and your friend staged for the prank. There was some serious juice in there.

It all depends on your lovely boyfriend now.

You hum and sing in the shower, happy with your ability of keeping the plan moving without a single hitch for this long. All the hard work would definitely pay off when you will capture Ethan's 'just pranked' face in your camera like he's done to you so many times in the past.

"Oh I'm gonna get him back sooo good for all the shit he's pulled on me!" You grin as you rinse the body wash off but a sudden harsh knock makes you jump out of your skin and curse under your breath.

Here it goes.

"Y/N?" Ethan calls from the other side of the door and you immediately turn the shower off and grab your towel. "Come out right now."

Drying your body in record time, you put on the t-shirt all while your heart is beating fast in your chest.

Don't screw it up don't screw it up don't screw it-

"Y/N?" His voice sounds angrier than it did when he demanded you to come out of the bathroom.

"I'm coming, jeez!"

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves and channel your inner Meryl Streep before opening the door and coming face to face with the brewing tornado that is Ethan Dolan.

He pins you in place with his furious gaze and you notice he's clutching your phone in his hand so hard, his knuckles are white. His breathing is, however, calm and he is just watching you silently.

You gulp.

Don't screw this up!

"What happened? Why were you shouting?" You begin to act like you're annoyed at him. "I had to cut my shower short for you."

A muscle in Ethan's jaw ticked and the dark look he wore in his face made you pray to never get on his bad side. The man who is known for his even temperament finally opens his mouth and the first words that he utters are spoken in the calmest voice you've heard him use.

"Who is Trevor?"

You just stand there in nothing but a t-shirt, pretty sure your nipples are hard and poking through and you realise you should have practiced what you would say to certain questions when your mind goes blank after the one he asked.

"Trevor?" Your voice sounds unsure tobyor own self and you praise the lord for your acting skills. "Tre-trevor who?"

Ethan's eyes seem to turn dark with fury at that response and his anger finally makes his breathing pick up. "Don't. Fuck. With me." His low tone is making your legs weak and your mind shamefully registers how much hotter is is when he's mad. You've rarely seen him this mad. The next second, Ethan shoves your phone into your hand and you barely hold onto it before it could fall.

"Jesus, Ethan! Be careful, will you?"

"Who the fuck is this son of a bitch is what I'm asking you and I need an answer right now, Y/N." Ethan seethes, "What the fuck are those texts?!"

You look at your phone and the screen shows your conversation with 'Trevor' about the size of 'his dick'. You wince, reading some of the texts, knowing just how much of a bitch you must be looking to Ethan right now.

"E..." You make a show of scrolling further down until you come to the picture you had sent 'Trevor' of yourself in the shortest dress you own. When you do look up, you wish you hadn't. Ethan has never looked more heartbroken and betrayed than he does now. Your heart breaks for him and you subconsciously reach for his face.

He steps right back and spits out a, "You have been cheating on me? Since when?"

"I didn't want you to find out like this," You keep the act up, remembering that time he had pranked you into thinking that he'd fallen and split his head open on the skating ramp. Or that time he had pulled "the most epic hockey prank in the world" on you. Those were his exact words. Considering Ethan's impressive history of all the pranks he's pulled on you, you shouldn't really be feeling guilty for this one. "I was gonna tell you on my own, I never wanted you to find out like this."

"How could you do this?" Your heart shattered seeing tears in his eyes. "You of all people? Y/N, I trusted you blindly and you-" Ethan's voice breaks on the last word and he locks his jaw, holding the back of his head with his hands. "Wow, Y/N, real class act."

Your hands itches to pull him to you as he keeps putting distance between you two with every step he takes away from you. "Babe,-"

"Babe?! Don't fucking call me that!" He points his finger at her, yelling at the top of his voice. "If you didn't love me anymore, you could have said so and fucking left! Why did you fucking cheat- you've been acting weird because of that asshole, aren't you? You don't want me because fucking Trevor is now in the picture, huh? Who the fuck is this Trev-"

Ethan lunges for your phone and rips it out of your hand, causing you to gasp and gape at him, stunned.

"Ethan, what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna call this motherfucker and give him a piece of my mind." He furiously looks through your contacts until his eyes land on the one he was looking for. "This son of a fu-"

"Ethan, give me my phone!" You try to get the phone out of his hand but he only grips it tighter, his jaw set and eyes blazing.

"Why? You don't want your little boyfriend to get chewed out? Oh wait! That's me!" Ethan scoffs with a shake of his head. "You know what? Fuck this and fuck you. I don't wanna talk to that scum and I don't wanna look at your cheating face for another second."

Throwing the phone on the bed, Ethan turns and starts for the door but not before grabbing his car keys from his nightstand. You silently rejoice in your head at how greatly the whole plan played out. You knew he would want to leave after the 'confrontation' so you already got Grayson to paint some words on Ethan's BMW.

When you two make it outside, you see that Gray has done his job right. Right there on the hood of the black car, blood red paint spells out-

Just a prank, babe! ;)

Ethan halts and you stop a step behind him, finally being able to smile without having to worry about hiding it. Ethan's back faces you and just by the way his tensed shoulders relax, you know he's read the message.

"Really?" He breaths, slowing turning to face you. His eyes roam your face attentively and when he's done searching for whatever it is he is looking for in your expression, he sighs and brings a hand to his temple, massaging it. "This isn't cool, Y/N."

You are sporting the biggest cheshire cat grin ever as you shrug like you didn't just work him up to a mini heart attack. "Gray wanted to take revenge on you by using spray paint but I made sure it was washable."

Ethan turned back, swiped his finger through the paint and surely, it wiped off. "Thank fuck. That's the least you could do after what you did to me."

"I got you good. Really good." You can't stop grinning from ear to ear.

Ethan reaches out for you with one simple command, "Come here."

You don't have a problem with doing as he says and within seconds, your head his pressed against his chest and your arms are wrapped around his narrow waist. Ethan holds you tight, his chin resting on top of your head.

A moment of silence passes where you just enjoy being in each other's embrace before Ethan breaks the silence.

"Who is Trevor?"

After you facetime 'Trevor' and Ethan gets to see it's actually your best friend, he is slowly getting back to his hype self.

"I can't believe you did that! And you had Grayson paint my car!"

"Its not like you haven't done worse things to both Gray and I!"

"You don't know how fucking pathetic that was! I almost cried, babe. What the fuck." He mumbles the last three words into your bosom, his arm thrown over your waist as you let him lay half on top of you. "I can't do that ever again."

"You never admitted that I got you good."

"Shut up."

"C'mon, don't be a sour loser. Admit you just got the life pranked out of you!"

"Babe."

"You know what? Don't just say it to me, tweet it out with the picture I took of you outside."

"Babe, c'mon!"

[adamwatchesmovies]

Adam Watches the 92nd Academy Awards

The 92nd Academy Awards have come and gone. As always, there’s plenty to be happy about and plenty that’ll make you wonder what the heck the voters were thinking. I watched the ceremony and while I may say that I don’t care… I do. Those awards are a big deal. Legions of people who would’ve otherwise dismissed Parasite as some movie that requires them to read subtitles saw it because it was nominated. One of those golden statues can make a career and let’s face it, you like to hear your love for something validated by people who have even the semblance of authority on the subject.

But here’s what you may not know: most of the voters really don’t know what they’re doing. While cinematographers NOMINATE what films are up for that Best Cinematography Award, EVERYONE in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences gets to vote for the winner and there’s no guarantee they’ve actually seen every nominee, know what the technical terms mean or are voting because what they saw is what they actually believe was “the best”. Once you take into account the dollars required to produce a nomination campaign, the stigma many genre films face, the prejudices against certain types of roles and/or actors, and how popularity influences votes, a win hardly means more than a bunch of people you don’t know saying they liked a movie.

If you want a better idea of which of 2019’s films were “the best”, you’re better off asking someone you know and trust, someone who can prove they’ve done their homework and aren’t just voting for their friends, the one they’ve heard is good from their kid, or got a special gift basket from. I may not be a paid professional, but I have put in the time and effort to see EVERYTHING nominated (with a few exceptions I’ll detail below). Reviews for some of these (The Irishman, Judy) are coming to the blog in a couple of days. If it were up to me the list of nominees would be different but we’ll get to that later. Without further ado, here’s who SHOULD’VE won. 

Best Visual Effects

1917 – Guillaume Rocheron, Greg Butler, and Dominic Tuohy The best special effects are the kind you don’t even notice. I couldn’t tell you where the explosions, sets, and actors in 1917 begin, and where the computer-generated imagery takes over. It’s seamless.

Best Film Editing

Parasite – Yang Jin-mo Got to hand it to Parasite for its amazing use of montage and the way it stitched its footage together. Some shots I initially thought initially were one take I realized under carefully scrutiny - and by that I mean frame-by-frame examination - were actually two melded together. The scenes showing how the Kim family infiltrate the Park’s household should be shown in film class to demonstrate how the art of montage is at its best should be done to maximum effect.

Best Costume Design

Little Women – Jacqueline Durran Funny how every single film nominated at the 92nd Academy Awards was a period piece. My vote goes to Little Women not because it was necessarily the most accurate (I couldn’t tell you what people wore in 1868) but because of the way the costumes were used. You can tell a lot about the characters from the multiple outfits they wear throughout the film - check out that purple bonnet adorned by Aunt Marsh (Meryl Streep).

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Bombshell – Kazu Hiro, Anne Morgan, and Vivian Baker I called it when I reviewed the film. The makeup used to transform John Lithgow was nothing short of incredible. It was an easy pick.

Best Cinematography

1917 – Roger Deakins I’m glad to see The Lighthouse on this list but I have to hand it to 1917. The one-shot motif adds so much to the story. Then, there are the individual shots I remember so vividly. The quiet meadow just outside of No Man’s Land, the raging inferno Schofield sees when he wakes up, the trench he must run in front of to reach the Colonel are all shots that permanently imprint themselves into your memory.

Best Production Design

1917 – Production Design: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Lee Sandales Tempted to hand it to Parasite for the house they constructed for the movie but I’m give it to 1917. The trenches, the blasted landscape of No Man’s Land still haunt me. When you see the craters, it’s jarring. Then, as your eyes become adjusted, you notice the rats. Then, the chunks of bone and charred meat that have now become part of the landscape. It’s horrific.

Best Sound Mixing

Ford v Ferrari – Paul Massey, David Giammarco, and Steven A. Morrow What you remember most from Ford v Ferrari is that big race at the end. The climax wouldn’t have been the same without the sounds we heard. The roar of the engines, the clacking and grinding as the pedals are pushed and gears are switched… the air rushing by. Out of the nominees, it’s the one whose sounds I most remember.

Best Sound Editing

Ford v Ferrari – Donald Sylvester This year, the Best Sound Editing award goes hand-in-hand with the sound mixing. Obviously, the actors were never moving at the kind of speeds depicted in Ford v Ferrari but you wouldn’t be able to tell because of the foley and sound design.

Best Original Song

Stand Up from Harriet – Music and Lyrics by Joshuah Brian Campbell and Cynthia Erivo Stand Up plays during the end credits of Harriet and it perfectly caps the film. Whenever I hear its lyrics, I’m transported back to that moment. It’s the most memorable and emotional song on this list.

Best Original Score

Joker – Hildur Guðnadóttir I chose the best song for its ability to stand out. In this category, Joker wins because its music doesn’t stand out… at least not at first. While you’re watching, those notes don’t draw attention to themselves. They subconsciously build the mood, augmenting the performance by Joaquin Phoenix, the visuals, and the story. You don’t notice how much of an effect it has on you until you see isolated clips. When you do, it’s shocking.

Best Animated Short Film

Abstaining (I’ve only seen Hair Love)

Best Live Action Short Film

Abstaining

Best Documentary Short Subject

Abstaining

Best Documentary Feature

Abstaining

Best International Feature Film

Abstaining, as I’ve only seen 2 films (Pain and Glory and Parasite)

Best Animated Feature Film

I Lost My Body – Jérémy Clapin and Marc du Pontavice I Lost My Body is the most audacious and inspired of the animated films nominated. The only movie among these to be aimed at adults, it often tells its story through visuals alone but when you get to the end, you realize it’s about more than just what was on-screen.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Little Women – Greta Gerwig based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott Greta Gerwig does more than merely adapt the classic novel, she breathes new life into it, makes it her own, makes it feel wholly new and modern. This version of the film surpasses all others we’ve seen before because of the changes she’s made to the story’s structure. 

Best Original Screenplay

Knives Out – Rian Johnson What a ride Knives Out was. It’s got so many twists and turns, so many delightful characters you want to re-watch it the second it’s over so that you are no longer distracted by its central mystery and can simply step back and admire the handiwork by Rian Johnson. A sequel’s been announced and I can’t wait to see it.

Best Supporting Actress

Laura Dern – Marriage Story as Nora Fanshaw Laura Dern was also in Little Women and her two roles couldn’t be more different. Here, she’s loathsome and captivating. As soon as I saw Nora take off her shoes before she kneeled down on the couch to console Nicole, I knew there was a whole lot more to her character than what we were told. The more you see her, the more you want.

Best Supporting Actor

Al Pacino – The Irishman as Jimmy Hoffa Al Pacino has the advantage of getting A LOT of screen time as Jimmy Hoffa. The Irishman clocks in at over 3,5 hours and he isn’t in the whole movie but when he is, the seasoned performer gives us so much. At different periods of the story, you’ll feel differently about him. There’s no point comparing him to the real-life person. He takes the meaty role and makes it his own. His voice, his mannerisms, I can’t think of anyone who could’ve done it better.

Best Actress

Renée Zellweger – Judy as Judy Garland Judy was the very last movie on my list to watch, having missed it when it came to theatres. When I think back to Zellweger’s performance, I don’t see her. All I see is her character, a rich, complex person you sometimes hate, sometimes love and feel sorry for. The movie is not going to be on my “Best of” list but she is.

Best Actor

Joaquin Phoenix – Joker as Arthur Fleck / Joker To me, there was no question Joaquin Phoenix would take this one. I saw Joker three times and each time, I found something new in his performance.

Best Director

Sam Mendes – 1917 With this award, I’m awarding Sam Mendes for the craft he displayed in 1917. It’s such a visceral experience that when people asked me how it compared to Dunkirk, it felt weird to lump both together. This is coming from someone who gave both pictures a 5-star review, who put both on their respective “best of the year” lists. It’s a movie I’m going to go back to and wondering “how did they do that?!

Best Picture

Little Women – Amy Pascal It’s a tough call for me this year, partially because I loved Parasite, 1917, Joker, and others so much. I’m planning on adding those three films to my collection so I can pop them into my Blu-ray player any times I feel like it. That said, I would’ve given the Best Picture Award to Little Women. You’re so emotionally invested in this little story that telling you why with merely words is impossible. You fall in love over and over. It made me cry and every time I think back to that scene at Christmas, I tear up again. I’m choosing it because of all the things it does differently from the other films. At the end of the day, it isn’t a big story. It isn’t about people with guns, corruption, war, a turning point in history or even necessarily the biggest event in the lives of the characters but it feels like it is. That’s exactly why it’s so good. 

Disagree with my choices? I don’t blame you. What kind of idiot finds a way to leave out Marriage Story from their list? You let me know where it should’ve gone. Hopefully, commenting keep you warm until MY Best of 2019 list gets posted in the next few days.

[blackjack-15]

Not Horsin’ Around — Thoughts on: The Secret of Shadow Ranch (SHA)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Unique to this game is a section in between The Mystery and The Suspects titled The Historical Background, as the background in SHA is so important and takes up nearly a third of the whole game that it deserves its own section.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SHA, non-spoilery mention of TRT, non-spoilery mention of CAP, non-spoilery mention of DED, non-spoilery mention of SPY.

The Intro:

Secret of Shadow Ranch is one of those games that invariably ends up in every “Best Of” list of Nancy Drew games. Unlike another mainstay of those lists (watch this space for the next meta, where I will Make Enemies), SHA actually deserves to be on it without reservations.

Unlike a few other “Best Of” games, SHA doesn’t actually do anything new with its story — there’s no beat, no bare-bones plotline, no mystery that hasn’t been done in the previous 9 games – but it just does it more completely. There’s more effort, more time, more thought, and more care obviously put into SHA (which itself is one of the most popular Nancy Drew books) than a lot of the other games. This isn’t to say that the other games are bad, just that SHA has a uniquely huge amount of care and detail put into it.

I should take the time to note here that I don’t believe that SHA is the best Nancy Drew game of all time, nor is it my favorite game of all time. The first designation shifts according to time, and the second is wholly dependent upon my personal style of play, so elevating a game based on that is less than pointless. When I say SHA deserves to be on “Best Of” game lists, it’s because it genuinely ticks all the boxes to make a fun, challenging but not hard, atmospheric, and honestly engaging experience.

Any introduction to Shadow Ranch would be incomplete without addressing the largest visual change it brings: the full-screen visuals. The bulky 2/3-of-the-screen interface is retired here and instead a (relatively) sleek task bar is added at the bottom, allowing SHA to look, as well as feel, bigger than any other game that came before it. Not only does this result in a smoother visual (especially as Nancy turns around) style, but it allows for more visual puzzles (significantly, the puzzle at the end with the stones marking the correct (and incorrect) path for Nancy to take).

While I won’t go too much into the Historical Background (as it’s significant enough in this game to get its own section in this meta), it’s impossible to talk about SHA without mentioning its wonderful historical setting and story. There are few other games so entrenched in the past (SPY, GTH, and TMB are a few others that fall into the same category), and it’s a joy to play through.

All in all, SHA is an honestly just wonderful, solid game that owes much of its well-deserved praise to a fantastically executed historical background, solid (if not showy) characters, and enough simplicity on top of its moving parts to encourage the player to go steadily and happily through the game.

The Title:

As far as the title for this game goes, they stuck exactly to the book to ensure that readers would know that one of the best-loved mysteries was being adapted to video game format, which was a pretty good idea.

The Secret of Shadow Ranch is also just a pretty great title; it indicates a mystery, a location, and sort of tells you the type of mystery you might get based on the location (historical; revolving around the Wild West). It’s not fussy, and not overly evocative, but it’s also not a “haunting” game (despite the ghost horse on the cover), so the simpler title is acceptable.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s just off to visit Bess and George’s Aunt Bet and Uncle Ed in their ranch (Shadow Ranch, to be exact) when the two cousins get delayed (why they didn’t all fly together…well, the plot demanded it) and Nancy arrives alone and immediately gets sucked into the strange happenings at the ranch.

It wouldn’t be a Nancy Drew game if something wasn’t hinky right off, naturally.

Uncle Ed and Aunt Bet are currently in the hospital after Ed was bitten by a snake that showed up in their bedroom, so Nancy’s left to deal with the ranch hands as she tries to help the ranch to run smoothly and investigates exactly how Ed might have gotten hurt.

The game ditches the plot of the original book and takes two-thirds of the plot of the revised yellow hardcover version, focusing around a strange phantom horse that seems to leave accidents and misfortune in its wake and around the historical plotline of the famous outlaw Dirk Valentine’s hidden treasure.

While it would have been cool to deal with the original mystery of Shadow Ranch — involving a missing father found with amnesia and an NPC in the form of another of Bess and George’s cousins — HER didn’t really have the resources nor the writing to deal with such a personal plot yet, and they instead (wisely, in my estimation) chose the plots that could be dealt with in what had become typical Nancy Drew PC Game fashion. This decision made Shadow Ranch one of the most tightly plotted of the early games and allows the player the time (and space, with the new layout) to explore the beautiful Southwest visuals as a trade-off.

As is commonplace with Nancy’s “vacations”, she soon finds herself embroiled in two mysteries where everyone has motive and opportunity, where the “means” belongs to everyone, and where no one will tell her the truth until she exposes them. Because Nancy can’t really contact the only victims of the accidents (Bet and Ed), there’s overall less to do on the phone in this game and Nancy has to make do with four suspects.

As far as mysteries go, Shadow Ranch isn’t the most involved that HER has ever attempted, but it is fairly complex for the Classic and Expanded games, and it takes pride in being easy to follow and engaging. The Dirk Valentine plotline specifically is tightly plotted, well-delivered, and…well, as perfect as you could get, really.

The Historical Background:

Normally, the Historical Background of a game is covered in the Mystery section, but SHA’s historical background is so far at the forefront of the game (not to mention so well done and memorable) that it would be a travesty to try to include it in another section.

The history behind the game centers on an outlaw, Dirk Valentine, and his forbidden romance with the sheriff’s daughter, Frances Humber, who lived at Shadow Ranch. Frances’ father Meryl disapproved of the match and relied (unbeknownst to her) on his daughter’s knowledge to find and arrest Dirk.

Dirk is then hanged for his general outlaw-ery, but not before mentioning a treasure that he wanted to give to Frances in a letter to her before he died. After his death, Frances left her father and headed east, leaving Meryl regretful of hanging Dirk and wishing to have his daughter back with him again.

The only remaining bit of Dirk left behind is his treasure, which Frances has no interest in and tells her relative about and which the Wild, Wild West finds an intense desire in. Since then, many have tried to find his last legacy to Frances, but all have failed…

Dramatic ellipses aside, the best part of this background isn’t that it involves outlaws and treasure and family drama and all that — it’s that it is all told via narrated letters and diary entries that Nancy finds hidden around the ranch. While this story would be effective on its own, the fact that it’s told to Nancy (and via Nancy, the player) makes it even more gripping than it would be on its own.

The biggest reason why the historical background gets its own section, however, is that it’s one of the best historical backgrounds in the entire series, and certainly the best of the series so far (even though I prefer TRT’s, SHA’s is told more effectively). SPY is up there, but it cheats a bit by having its backstory tied directly to Nancy, so I won’t count it as high on the scale. The only other game (once again ignoring SPY) that gets quite as somber and effective without being melodramatic is CAP, which presents the backstory through another character and thus works just as well.

(As a side note, I’m not including DED here, since it’s less “historical background” and more “incredibly recent background”.)

The only thing that this background sours for me slightly is the present-day plot, as it’s not quite as tight, but that’s to be expected since that plot has to last the whole game. That, and the fact that it makes me bitter that we don’t get all of our historical background narrated for the rest of the series.

The Suspects:

Tex Britten is the surly ranch hand that assumes authority while Ed and Bet are at the hospital. He dislikes “city folk” (though after ASH, one can hardly call Nancy anything but “upper-middle-class suburban folk”) and trusts Nancy so little around the ranch that she’s not allowed to do anything without him hovering — except for be responsible for the horses’ nutrition and survival.

Not really circumspect, but I wouldn’t trust this 18-year-old who claims to be a friend of the family’s with anything fun either.

Gruff, rough, and difficult to deal with, Tex is set up as the “mean” suspect from almost the first moments of the game (though after Dave shows up at the airport in assless chaps), and he plays the part par excellence. Never is Tex any warmer than barely civil, and he doesn’t need to be “reformed” by the end of the game because, well, he’s just grumpy.

As a suspect, Tex is a pretty good one, and honestly my preferred suspect. Not because he’s mean or gruff or anything like that, but because it would have been a great analogue between him and Mary and Frances and Dirk (more on that below). While it would be boring to have the “mean suspect” be the culprit every time, at this point in the series (with only MHM boasting a “mean guy” culprit) it would honestly count as a subversion, and would add a bit of depth to his character beyond “mean guy with a soft spot for the women in his life”.

Shorty Thurmond is the cook at the Rawley’s ranch and is voiced by HER’s resident pinch-hitter and man of a thousand voices Jonah Von Spreecken. He’s a money-grubbing lazy cook with more interest in yelling at those helping him than in doing actual work.

Shorty, to no one’s surprise, is the culprit (what?? the get-rich-quick guy wanted to get rich quick????), and does make for a decent suspect in that you could say he’s “lazy” because he’s actually working hard to find the treasure. He’s creepy enough to set the player’s teeth on edge, but ultimately not sinister enough to really convince the player that he’s up to no good.

Dave Gregory, snatcher of panties and quickener of libidos, is not only the Figure of Sexual Awakening for fans who came in after FIN, but is also one of the canonical “love interests” for Nancy — aka, boys who show an interest in her while she alternately doesn’t or feels-like-she-shouldn’t reciprocate. Nancy can even not really tell him about Ned, for bonus “good girlfriend” points (points that really start appearing from TRN on). His aunt is the relative that Frances told about Dirk’s treasure, and so he’s been looking during his downtime on the ranch.

He’s also fairly smitten with Nancy to the point that he helps her the entire game, asking nothing else in return. But, since I’m not really commenting on realism right now (in any of its forms), I’ll let that one slide.

As a suspect, Dave doesn’t ever qualify. The game never sets him up to be suspected, his “gotcha” moment with Nancy is so piddling as to be inconsequential, and he aids and abets Nancy the entire time. It’s probably a good thing, honestly, as Tex and Shorty are set up from the start to be the most suspicious, but I do think it would have been better to at least play along with him being suspicious until the one-third mark, especially since Mary is such a non-player as well.

Rounding out our cast is Mary Yazzie, who sells art and stones near Shadow Ranch and is banging Tex like a drum in Secret. Her area of interest is in the Pueblo people, and has tried repeatedly to purchase some of the land of Shadow Ranch in order to, according to her, look for more petrified wood artifacts. Ed and Bet refuse to sell, however, which sets them at odds with Mary.

As a suspect, Mary isn’t fabulous. Other than her offers to buy part of Shadow Ranch (and her taste in men), there’s nothing sitting against her. The game doesn’t bother to really implicate her in anything, and she more serves a helping role (if not The Helping Role). Her presence does open up the game to include Native American themes and stories, but other that that Mary’s really only there to make the numbers fit.

While Mary is the only female suspect, she’s not the only woman in the cast, which includes Charleena, Frances, Aunt Bet, Bess, and George (of important/speaking roles, 6 females to 8 males, by my count, making this an average-sized cast).

The Favorite:

Charleena Purcell is a delight and a treasure here and one of a small number of reoccurring characters. I’m a sucker for author characters since they’re usually slightly unpleasant (and I value that in a character who gives information to a detective), and everything from being a great phone character to her voice acting is A+. Jonah Von Spreecken’s additional role as Charleena’s assistant should also get a mention here. Honestly, what can’t that man do?

A big — possibly the biggest — thing that HER gets so, so right in this game is the voice acting. While Lani is her usual early-game self (quasi-invested and missing some native inflection, but not yet the incredibly old-sounding voice that happens a bit further down the line), Rob Jones’ Joe Hardy, Jonah Von Spreecken (as mentioned above), Max Holechek’s Meryl Humber, and above all Gary Hoffman’s superlative Dirk Valentine elevate this game far above the sum of its parts.

It’s a very lucky thing that this game was released before the (misguided, in my estimation) feature that lets you skip dialogue, because if you could, I truly believe that SHA wouldn’t be half as memorable or well-beloved as it is. Hearing Dirk’s assurances and Meryl’s increasing sadness is far, far beyond anything that reading them could give you, and I honestly believe that HER knew this and planned accordingly. 

Sure, it was more expensive to record that dialogue rather than simply read it, and additional voice actors had to be hired, and more time had to be spent — but the end result is the main takeaway from SHA, and that is to the game’s incredible benefit.

My favorite moment in the game, to no one’s surprise, then, is the reading of Dirk’s letters. It only takes a few sentences to get wholly invested in him Frances, and their love story. It’s the height of Americana to root for the outlaw of the Wild, Wild West, but it’s taken one step further with Dirk who has been given some of the best lines in any HER game. 

It’s a simple moment, but effective, and it stays with me not only every time I play but even when it’s been a few years since I’ve cracked open the game.

My favorite puzzle is the horse-trivia-on-a-horse one, as it tests the player’s thoroughness in exploring and reading, and also is incredibly hilarious to see Nancy riding around a pen while an angry ranch hand spits questions at her like he’s investigating her for murder. It’s fun and side-splitting in its absurdity, and I do love good-natured absurdity.

The Un-Favorite:

           For a book famous for introducing Bess and George, I can’t help but feel that it really was a missed opportunity not to include them more in this game. Sure, it helps Nancy to be on her own so that she can investigate without being hamstrung by anyone else, but this was a perfect opportunity to be able to play as another character for a while and to see more of Bess and George than witty puns and suspiciously prescient clues, so I will count this missed opportunity as a least favorite thing in the game.

*metal piece picked up* *metal piece put down* *metal piece picked up* need I say more??

My least favorite moment in the game is the “Heeeeere’s Shorty!” bad ending. It’s breathtakingly unnecessary, creepy as all get-out, and makes you stare at a Shorty face that looks like it was rendered with Windows 1 running on oatmeal for processing power.

My least favorite puzzle in the game isn’t actually the metal maze I mentioned above (though that would get an honorable mention, definitely) — it’s the arrowhead hunting. If you’re looking all along (and know to be looking all along), it’s not too tedious, but if you have the bad luck to miss one or two along the way, what follows is a half hour of pouring over every spot in every location to find them. Generally, my least favorite things in games tend to be those that are essential yet easily missable, and the arrowheads fit that bill exactly.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Secret of Shadow Ranch?

First, I would honestly remove the Hardy Boys from the game. They don’t get the time they need to shine, and the game is busy enough to not need them. Move them to CUR and you get at least two characters I care about in that game.

As mentioned above, I would make the connection between Mary/Tex and Frances/Dirk clearer (rather than sub-sub-subtext) and switch him and Shorty’s position as the villain.

Make Shorty guilty of being exactly what is he is — a man obsessed with get quick rich schemes — and have some of the incidents be his fault (the snake is a good one to hand to him, as any cook in the desert on a ranch knows how to catch and cook snake) so that he has room to look for the treasure, but maybe stop him from finding a few key things (like the secrets in Dry Gulch) and take out his bank robber connections (which is easily the silliest part of the game). Maybe Tex uses him and slowly siphons off information that Shorty leaves lying around until he knows All.

Meanwhile, Tex is a gruff man who cares about his sister and his girlfriend and is thankful to the Rawley’s about his job…but he’s also a man who needs money to pay for his upcoming engagement/wedding to Mary Yazzie, who’s helping support his sister, who’s a bit angry that the Rawleys fired his sister, and who figures that if anyone can find a cowboy’s treasure, it’s another cowboy who knows the land like the back of his hand.

His expertise with horses makes it easy to coat one in phosphorus and safely release and get it back, his omnipresence around the ranch makes it easy to sabotage, and his natural reticence gives him a reason never to have an alibi — he just doesn’t like to be around people. Tex is, in fact, so perfectly set up to be the villain that it doesn’t feel like a twist that he’s not, it feels like a mistake.

For the finale, while Shorty chasing Nancy down is scary enough, the image of Tex doing so is even worse. This fix strengthens motive, adds multiple narratives, and spreads out the guilt enough to make most characters interesting. It would also give Mary more of a presence and add in the possibility of her being an accomplice (which I would love), and firmly sets Nancy at odds with three-fourths of the cast.

I’d also include Bess and George more heavily in the game. Since they handle the beginning of the Charleena Purcell line already, I’d have that whole storyline shifted over to them. You play as either Bess or George finding the novel, calling Nancy, and taking the lead to wheedle their way in past Charleena’s assistant (definitely a Bess-type job, but George attempting it would be hilarious with Bess whispering instructions) and get the information Nancy needs. The airport itself would be easy enough to limit to a small explorable area, and HER could even pass the contacting Ed and Bet to their actual nieces.

These changes would expand the game slightly and add to the runtime, but it would also help SHA to be even more of a landmark game and to be an appropriate end to the era of Expanded Games.

[severalspoons]

Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 10

-- I'm singing along with the intro music...

-- Who is Vash talking/narrating to? Not that I'm complaining. Tell me everything!

-- Bedhead Vash = adorbs!

-- Wow, Vash talks to birds! Just like a Disney princess! 

He's not very good at it, though. They just fly away.

-- It's appropriate he calls it the mayfly of love because mayflies are delicate and don't last long...and probably hard to catch... (Ok, obvious metaphor is obvious; I probably didn't even need to say anything...)

-- Ah, there's that meditation line that's been bothering me so much.

Life and love in 3 seconds. Those are topics you can devote your whole life to, and every lovingkindness meditation I'm familiar with takes longer than 3 seconds, just saying.

-- Dead girlfriend named Eileen? Clearly he was making things up, but how much was based on truth?

-- Vash missed his chance to sing Michelle Ma Belle.

-- Talking about a dead girlfriend and introducing yourself as the Humanoid Typhoon...yeah, that's not gonna get you a date.

Ouch. Shut down.

-- "A lecture! You've got to be pretty lame to take that kind of abuse." Ouch.

-- Aaaaand cock-blocked by Wolfwood, lol. Isn't knocking the table over a bit extra, though?

-- "It's a long story, even though it's kind of a short one." A Wolfwood classic

-- lol, Wolfwood imitating the voice and even the facial expressions of the criminal. I want to hear him tell more stories.

-- Wolfwood certainly likes getting all up in Vash's personal space. Trying to make him uncomfortable so he'll give in faster, or what?

-- Why is Vash acting so reluctant to help? I mean, it fits because he seemingly gets dragged into dangerous situations a lot. But this is exactly the sort of thing he’s been volunteering to do. Is he enjoying Wolfwood laying it on thick and guilt tripping him?

-- "Will you treat me to something?" "I'll have to think about it." Yep, there's Millie trying to scrounge and Vash not liking to say no.

-- "You haven't got a single clue, have you?" What does Millie mean?

-- That guy has the best trenchcoat. Too bad he’s just a bit character in this one episode.

-- Who is that man behind the curtain? Is he going to appear in a future episode?

-- Apparently Vash has blood type O. I know blood type is symbolic in Japanese culture...what does that say about him?

-- If Vash didn't want to be part of the competition, and is concerned about his reputation causing problems, why enter as himself? Why not make up a pseudonym/alias?

-- Can’t explain further, I just love this dialogue: "Aw, come on, you planned it from the start." "But I apologized."

-- "There you go smiling again. Looks good on you." That's so sweet I'm even grinning and blushing now.

#they’re at their best together #and when they smile I smile and melt like a squishy marshmallow

-- Wolfwood catching the girls eavesdropping, lol. Vash is usually the one to notice things. Guess he didn't want to make things awkward. Wolfwood doesn't gaf.

-- Oh Meryl, you've got to learn to express your feelings. What if Milly isn't there to act as your mouthpiece?

-- Oh, Milly, the life of the party. Just how much did she take off?

So far we have Wolfwood as the storyteller of the group and Milly as the wild one. Meryl is probably the Mom friend. Vash is the one who leads them into trouble adventures and has to get them back out.

-- "How come you're good?" Milly has a way with words. (And a good point).

-- Did Vash drink too much deliberately in order to lower his own acuity so his shooting skills would stand out less? Then blame Wolfwood for getting him "plastered?"

Notice that he suddenly stops wobbling around blurry-eyed and just goes for it once everyone can see how good a shot he is. The camouflage is no longer necessary.

-- "You really are the humanoid typhoon." I'm onto you Wolfwood, this is just an excuse to put your hand on his shoulder and get up in his personal space again.

-- I love how Vash turns the tables on Wolfwood and signs him up, too. 

-- Vash threw that stone before the gun even went off. He knew where the bullet would go before the gun even fired.

-- I love how Vash interferes with all the other fights. And Wolfwood knows, lol. They almost look like conspirators.

See what I mean?

-- How did they both do the Tabasco sauce trick at the same time without coordinating it? Did they plan this beforehand or are they just that good?

-- Vash's “wut” face when Wolfwood does the thing. Amazing.

-- Really? Now Vash objects to injuring people? He's been doing it the entire show so far in order to disarm them. What else are he and Wolfwood supposed to do to people trying to kill them? I think the real problem is that Wolfwood seemed like he was out of control and enjoying it.

-- I keep waiting for Wolfwood to argue with Vash about their different philosophies, but so far, the most he's done is grumble a little bit about not killing people. Maybe manga!Wolfwood is blending together with anime!Wolfwood in my head?

[ficstogo]

This Part in Life

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Summary: Being a stripper was hard but you had people to back you up. You didn’t think that part of your life would ever be brought up again, especially in times like these

Word Count: 5613

Warnings: Language, Suggestive themes,

A/N: I was working on another Daryl fic and thought that that one would take long to write, so I decided to work on this one which in actuality turned out longer, both in length and time, into writing.

Your family knew of what you’ve done before the turn and they were understanding and accepting of it. You were all too busy trying to survive to go around judging each others pasts. You were grateful for it. They didn’t see you any less, if anything, they saw you as an important part of them that they need to survive as you were their go-to for defense. You needed them and they needed you and that was that.

But when Daryl found out what you have done, it was different. He couldn’t look you in the eyes, he talked to you less than before and he didn’t talk to you all that much from the start. You got sick of it and so when you two were partnered up for a run it was an awkward silence all the way there and it got on your last nerve.

“Is there anything bothering you, Daryl?” You asked in a mocked curiosity.

“The hell you talkin’ ‘bout?” He said pretending to be vigilant and safe as he looked straight ahead at the road.

“I’m sorry, I meant to say is there’s something bothering me, Daryl, and I feel like I gotta share.” You turned to him with squinted eyes that were ready to stare at him into oblivion.

“Well, it can wait when we get back, alright.”

“No no no no no. Because by the time we get home, you’re gonna avoid me as much as possible and because of that, we won’t talk about what’s bothering me. So you either let me share my feelings or I swear, I’ll knock the hell outta of ya.”

“Dammit, woman, ya gotta be so violent all the time?” He yapped back in equal attitude. If you two weren’t so hot headed and stubborn you would’ve gotten along just fine.

“Well I gotta with the way things are now and I had to with me as a stripper.” you said casually looking back at the road and then back at Daryl as you tried to bait him. There. That’s it. You can see Daryl get rigid and you knew that you weren’t imagining it. He definitely didn’t like the stripper bit.

You let out a huff and went back to giving him furrow brows and eyes that could slaughter a man. “Oh my god…” He only takes a quick peek at you as he continues to drive on. “Do actually have a problem with me being a stripper back then?!”

“No.”

“Then why the hell can’t you look me in the eyes?” You see him lick his lips and his eyes bop back and forth like a match of ping pong. “Are you that much of an asshole that what you know now has lost your respect for me?” It hurt. Usually it didn’t but this time it did and it was because this man, who was now your family, didn’t see you as the strong woman that you see yourself as.

“That ain’t it.” He responded firmly.

“Then what is it?” You ask in a calmer tone.

“It’s cause I’m trying to show you respect.”

“By not talking to me? By not looking at me as a person?”

He took a moment to think up how to word his response. “Yes. I thought if I did, I’d be invading your bubble. That I’d be invading you as a person.” That’s when you understood. He didn’t treat you that way because he lost his respect for you but because he had no idea how to interact with women like that. He was like a little boy that was caught with something naughty and was showing his mom he was a good boy. He was just showing that he was a good guy and he was trying his hardest not to make you uncomfortable.

You looked back at the road ahead and processed what he said. “Well, you’re doing a real shit job of it…” Daryl took a small peek at you as he felt his mood change. He was trying and somehow it still wasn’t good enough. What was he supposed to do now? “I know you’re a good guy Daryl and I know you wouldn’t do anything to make me feel off. I mean, you’ve never given me a reason to be nervous or cautious around you. If anything, I feel safer around you, even if I can hold my own. You’re better than the guys I use to handle and trust me, if I handled you, you’d know you’ve done something wrong.” He peeked at you once more and then nodded his head, his hand moving up to cover his mouth. He was glad that you didn’t feel threatened by him because he wanted to take care of his family and he couldn’t risk having someone run off whenever they’re stuck with him or in this case, he didn’t want to have you hate his guts especially when he was trying to make you as comfortable as possible.

“It’s just, this thing that you’re doing right now, doesn’t make me feel all that great. I feel like…one of them, like something lower than dirt and that’s not how I want to be treated.” This time Daryl fully turns his head to look at you, giving you a closer look. Of course you don’t want to feel like that and he should know better.

The rest of the ride was quiet but the atmosphere has shifted. It was better. It felt as if there was improvement.

“So why’d you try so hard to make me feel all comfy and whatever?” You asked as you scouted behind Daryl for any danger coming your way. “I mean, there’s Carol and that whole thing at the farm, Carl and Rick with Lori, Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Hershell…There are plenty of people that could use your sweet Dixon comfort.”

He shrugs his shoulders as he continues to walk ahead with his crossbow aimed in front. You had a jovial tone when asking your question so you were more or less expecting him to tease back a bit but he seemed to want to be sheltered from the question, that is until he finally answered. “I dunno know, guess ‘cause it’s probably something you dealt with for a long while, unlike the others.” It made sense now that he said it. You were ready to take his answer as is until he went further into it.

“Meryl use to make me go to the strip club with ‘im. Not really my kinda place but he used to love to pick up women there. They were okay with it but there were times I’d seen other guys get handsy with ‘em and…” He paused as he looked around the corner of the building making sure not to get ahead of himself as he went down memory lane. “It made feel weird all over seein’ ‘em bein’ treated like that ya know?” You just smiled to yourself as your assumption of Daryl were correct. He is a good guy, just the way he was talking about it was proof enough to you.

And Daryl felt he owes you an explanation. Usually he wouldn’t try but the look in your eyes when you explained how he made you feel was enough to apologize to you in that way. He understood how you felt and he didn’t need anyone else feeling that way.

“I get it. I mean, a job’s a job but I did make a few friends from it and everytime I see a guy asking them to sit on their lap when they tell them they don’t want to or how they touch them when they’re strictly not allowed too, it really does boil my blood. I’d do the kicking to the curb but then again I needed the job. So yeah, I get how it feels sometimes to stand around and do nothing.”  

It goes silent again as Daryl processes what you say. That’s what it is, wasn’t it? That he just let them rough up those girls and he didn’t bother to do anything? Because he didn’t want to ruin Merle’s fun? Or maybe because he was that much of bitch back then to try. He didn’t know exactly but he understood another bit of himself right now. All thanks to you.

After arriving to the convenient store that you both planned to scope out, killing the only two walkers that were in there, Daryl only had one question. He didn’t know why he needed to know the answer to it  but he wanted to ask either way. He just hoped you wouldn’t snap at him for letting his curiosity take over. “I noticed that whenever Merle brought them over, they always left with some extra cash….Did you ever use ta, ya know…”

“Hell no, I mean, I knew I was in hard times but I didn’t want to give myself up like that, especially to men that don’t deserve it.” He looks at you as you cross the room to look through the shelves, you not noticing his wandering eyes. For some reason there was a smirk on his face. Maybe it was the fact that you were so strong now that he wanted to know if you were the same back then. It was nice to know that even after all of the world was down the drain, some people haven’t changed themselves or their principles.

“I already gave myself up to all of them on a pole, they don’t need to take another part of me after the show.” You can feel him being shoulder to shoulder with you as you looked towards him for what he wanted.

“I don’t think any less of you. I just didn’t want to be the reason for making you weak.” This time you nodded your head and gave him a small smile. As brief as he reasoning was, it was something that got the point across. It explained and answered all the questions you had on Daryl’s intentions and although you wouldn’t admit it, it was flattering to see Dixon trying to be all sweet, caring, and shy around you.

“Thank you. I…appreciate how much you care about this little bit of me.” He only nodded having reached his limit of sharing today. You both were now solid and by the time you two got back to the prison, the laws of nature on how yourself and a Dixon were to act had now changed.

From then on, you and Daryl understood each other to a level that the others couldn’t have reached with the both of you. Neither of you had even expected that to happen but it did and you both were fairly satisfied at the dynamic shift. The both of you understood the meaning of “rough” and therefore, there wasn’t a moment where you doubted each other’s understanding of feelings and past traumas. Not only that but you two felt as if you were each other’s equals and right now, those were hard to come by.

Although you two didn’t show how close you were or talk like friends would, you both know what you have and at the moment, you were fine how things are. You didn’t care what it was or what could be because you were living in the now and whatever happens in the now, happens. Darly didn’t mind it either. He understood what the two of you have and he rather not mess it up. It was some unspoken understanding that you two had each other and whenever one of you were overflowing with pain and emotion the other was there whether they wanted to talk about it or just be in the others company and usually it was the latter.

The move to Alexandria was strange. None of them fully understood what was going on out there and therefore they didn’t understand what was at risk. You didn’t bother trying to get to know any of them, right now, your family came first in this new environment. After Woodbury, the prison, Terminus, there was no time to get all comfortable. They were inviting and kind but you’ve seen that act before and It looked safe, sure, but for how long? You understood why you were all cautious but the people of Alexandria didn’t.

Eventually though, all of you calmed your jitters down for a bit and began to adjust the way Alexandria is. You all worked your assigned jobs and soon enough it started to feel like a place to really thrive. To really protect. It started to feel normal and as of now, you were in between on either feeling ok with it or not. At the moment you were heading back from the pantry in order to make yourself and the rest of your roommates dinner for the evening, carrying a small basket in one hand.

“Hey Y/N!” You stopped and turned around to the source of the unfamiliar voice with a curious frown on your face. There came a man jogging up to you as he tried to catch up. Now looking at him, you can tell he was definitely not familiar to you. “Glad I caught you there!”

“Yyyeah,” You looked him up and down with your brows continuing its downward voyage on your face. “I’m sorry but who are you?”

“We never were fully introduced. I’m Colby. I, uh, meant to try and come by and talk to you back at Deanna’s party but you left before I had the chance.” Seems right. You only stayed there for a few minutes as you still weren’t sure about Alexandria. Crowds weren’t your thing so you left as soon as no one noticed, at least, that’s what you thought. After that, Daryl was right out front and once he knew who it was who came out, you two headed for home together until Aaron offered dinner.

He stuck his hand out for you to shake as you only looked down and then back up at him. You slowly placed your hand on his to return the gesture, not taking the cautious look away from your face. He could feel the tension that you were emitting and nervously took his hand back.

“Right…Nice to meet you…” You say in an unimpressed tone. You already didn’t like him. He struck you as a prick but you knew better than to judge anyone instantly. It was a terrible habit of yours but it did prove to be a useful skill whenever you all ran into a stranger. Somehow you were always right of their character. “Listen, I gotta get back home and start dinner, so if you don’t mind…” You say wanting to cut your chat short as you didn’t want to spend anymore time trying to make small talk with someone you obviously didn’t sit well with.

Before you go any further, Colby grabs ahold of your wrist to turn you back to look at him. You only roll your eyes to see what lame discussion he desperately wanted to let out. “Um, ok,” He lets out a nervous airy chuckle. “Let me be honest, I think you’re gorgeous and I only wanted to ask if maybe you had a boyfriend or something before I, you know…” he shrugs. You give him an incredulous look as the notion shocked you. That’s it. Time to shut this down.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend and to be honest, I’d rather you not try to do anything to change that.” Pulling your wrist back to your side you walked to the direction of your shared home with a huff. There you go being right again.

“Right, sorry! I guess hot flings are more than what you’re used to!” He shouted from behind you as you can hear the smirk in his voice. Stopping in your tracks, you took a moment to process what he had just said. Tilting your head to the side, you processed that that was an insult.

You put the basket down by your feet, stood back up and then turned around to face him. You walked towards him with a bit more stomp in your feet. You smirked back at his pompous face playing along with what he was getting at and asked, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Well I figured that since you used to be a stripper, you might just want one night stands. I knew a couple of strippers that were into that. I mean, obviously money’s useless now but I don’t mind just giving you a good time whenever you like.” You only smiled looking down at the ground and then back up to him as a laugh was released from you.

You stood back biting your lip with crossed arms. “Is that right?”

“Yeah. Dancing on a pole, you must be good in bed and I even bet they tipped you extra for it.” Your heart beat rapidly as you felt his hands land on your hips as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. “Olivia will do anything for me and I promise if you show me a good time, that dinner at your place would be like going to a five star restaurant.” That’s when he went to squeeze your ass with both his hands.

Your hands when to his shoulders to slowly push him away in order to  give him a flirtatious look. He only looked at you with such assurance as if he knew how this would play out.

Colby fell to the ground the second your knee came in contact with his crotch and once he landed hard on the pavement you went right on top of him, giving him punch after punch. How dare he think of you in that way. How dare that he thought you were easy pickings. He reminded you of all the men in those clubs, the ones who bothered you, who bothered your friends. He reminded you of all the men you try to start a relationship with and the moment you disclosed that part of your life, they thought you would be a piece of cake. Colby reminded you of all the people that ever looked at you differently, that talked to you differently, that wouldn’t ever give you a second chance or even chance to start with. With each time your fist came in contact with him, you let out all the years of pain and anger that you kept in you as you never were able to let it out in the old world. Right now, Colby’s face was going to be the nice little outlet for your feelings.

You didn’t realize that Colby’s cries for help went deaf in your ears and the next thing  you knew, there were strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulling you away. You thrashed and tried to fight your way back to him but as soon as sound was traveling back to your ears, you realized that it was Rick pulling you back and telling you that it was only him. He continued his hold until you were a good distance away from the crowd that you didn’t realize had circled around you two. From there, Rick told you to wait inside of the house while he try and calm everyone down.

Unlike you, Daryl was on high alert once he heard Colby’s cries. He instantly thought that a walker found their way inside but once he turned his head to the direction of the cries he noticed a crowd and he already knew what that meant. He and Merle had their fair share of fights so he went to see who the troublemakers were. Jogging over to who it was his sight caught Carl who was standing a good distance away from the commotion. “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Carl whipped his head with startled eyes and opened his mouth to answer but before he could his father beat him to it as Daryl witnessed Rick pulling you away with limbs flying like a feral animal. Daryl instantly went to protective mode as he pushed his way through. There were people helping Colby pull himself up. A black eye, some bruises and blood coming from his nose as well as a couple of cuts to adorn his face.

“What’d you do!?” Daryl said with his chest puffed out and a shove to greet Colby. The anger was burning behind his eyes as he huffed out some air like a raging bull ready to advance.

“What did I do!? Don’t you mean what did she do!? Did you not see how she just attacked me! Look at my damn face!” He exclaimed as he pointed to it to make sure Daryl was actually looking.

“Nah, she wouldn’t do shit like that unless she had too! You done somethin’ to her, now what the hell was it!?” His fingers tightly gripped the front of Colby’s shirt as he pulled him close to his face, letting him know he wasn’t playing any games.

“The damn bitch flipped! I only asked if she wanted to hook up!”

“And?!”

“And?! Listen man, I don’t know if you heard the news but she was a stripper and God knows I wasn’t gonna let that slip by! I just offered her more rations as compensation!” Down the ground Colby went as Daryl delivered a right hook directly on his black eye. He goes at him for a bit until he pulls him back up “with his face up close to his and then gives another punch to his gut.

“She don’t owe you shit and she don’t need shit from you neither! You ever come near her again, yer walker bait!”

“Daryl!” There was a hand on his shoulder and he knew it was Rick trying to break up another fight. “Daryl! Put him down, he’s already been through the ringer once. Come on, man, let me handle this.” The only sound left was Daryl’s heavy breathing and his eyes destroying the confidence Colby once had. His fingers relaxed and his knuckles returned to their normal color once he dropped Colby to the ground.

He gives a pointed finger to Colby. “You ain’t shit. Yer just an asshole lookin’ for an easy target.” As soon as those left his lips, he spat at the ground near him. Stomping away, he picked up the basket that was left on the ground and headed towards the shared house.

Inside you were there pacing back and forth in the kitchen unaware of Daryl entering and placing your items on the counter. He didn’t announce his presence at first, he only watched you to see how you were doing and right now you seemed a lot more calmer than before. He walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You jumped slightly as you thought you were alone but calmed down once you knew it was just Daryl.

You looked down with your hands on your hips with the both of you standing in silence as Daryl decided to let you straighten up your thoughts. “How badly beaten is he?”

“Don’t think he’ll be seein’ too good outta his left eye for awhile.” He smirked. “How you feelin’?”

You shrugged and took a peek out the window. “Still feel like beating the shit out of him. For fun this time.”

“A violent woman you are…” You laughed looking down at the floor and then taking notice of Daryl’s right hand. It was slightly bruised with some small specks of blood on it.

You grabbed ahold of his hand inspecting his knuckles a little more. You only smiled as your thumbs rubbed softly against them, some of the blood smudging against his skin. You looked back up at him biting your bottom lip to hide your obvious joy. “Me? You went ahead to beat a man when he’s down.”

“So? He had it comin’ fer messin’ with ya.” He hid his eyes under his hair as you went back to soothing his knuckles with your fingers.

“Aw, you looking out for me…?” you teased.

“I am so sorry Y/N!” was the next thing you heard before Daryl had the chance to respond with both your eyes turning to a distraught Carl. You instantly let go of Daryl’s hand and took a step towards the boy scared of what exactly he was sorry for. “I swear I didn’t mean to just say whatever. I was just hanging out with the other kids and we were talking about what everyone did and I just thought that if I told them who we use to be, they wouldn’t be so scared of us and I guess Ron went and told-”

“Carl! Carl! It’s alright! I’m not mad because he knew who I used to be. I was mad because he knew what I use be and thought he could get something out of it. You didn’t do anything wrong.” You place a hand on Carl’s shoulder to comfort him. “I don’t care who else knows, If they start judging me well, it’s gonna be tough luck for them later on. You don’t have anything to worry about. Besides, I think all of Alexandria knows not to mess around with me on that.” You smirked. Carl let out the air that he was holding in as he nodded his head in understanding, his blue eyes turning from worry to calm waves in that moment.

“I’m still sorry. That was your story to tell to whoever you decide you want to talk to about it.” You only pull Carl in for a hug, upset that he worked himself up about it but happy to see that he was growing into an honest and brave man, something to definitely be proud of.

“It’s alright Carl. It’s fine.” Pulling away, you go ahead and tell him to hang out more with his friends, that dinner would be ready in a bit. He takes his leave and you stand there watching him go.

“You sure it’s fine?” Daryl asks as he watched the exchange happen in the background.

You snap out of it and turn around to face him. “Yeah. It’s fine. I’m gonna get dinner started. I’ll let you know when it’s done.” You give him a small smile. Despite your words and your movements, Daryl only thinks otherwise. You have things you still want to let out but he knew better than to push and pry, so he leaves you be with your distraction. Maybe you’ll come out with what you want to say when you’re ready.

.~.~.~.~.~.

Dinner was made, dinner was eaten, everyone had their downtime and off to their own rooms. Everyone found out what happened earlier in the afternoon and they didn’t know whether or not to bring it up and discuss but you looked to be in a better mood and in result, have simultaneously decided to not talk about it at all.

You were only in your room preparing yourself for bed but you couldn’t help but sit on the mattress and look out the window. For some reason, you thought you were okay after all that happened today. You kept telling yourself that. You even tried to forget that it happened at all but once you were finally alone with your thoughts on your bed, the facade finally came down.

It hurt. For some reason it still hurts even after all this time, even after all that’s happened. You didn’t even realized that you had tears streaking your cheeks until you heard a knock on the door. You scrambled to wipe your face clean, clearing your throat and then responding for them to enter.

You had your head away from noticing where your hands were. Daryl stepped in closing the door behind him softly. He only stood there not really knowing what to do. He never knew but it was you. And you don’t cry often but seeing you like this and knowing what it was about, it didn’t sit well with him to leave you like this. He walked up to where you sat but stayed at a distance to where you had your own space.

You looked up at him and he could see that you have definitely been crying. You just looked down in shame feeling ridiculous at how emotional you’re being. You could feel your bed dip down to the side slowly knowing that Daryl took a seat next to you with his hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees. You only went on crying until you didn’t have anymore tears left and your sniffling subsiding.

Once the room went quiet with your crying ceased, Daryl was the first to speak up. “Feelin’ like shit, aren’t ya?”

“Was it obvious?” You said with a small chuckle as you wiped the remaining tears.

“Nah, just took a guess.” You only bumped shoulders with him so he would know you got his joke. All went silent again as you tried to gather your thoughts. You tried to pinpoint what the exact thought in your head caused you to fall apart.

“It still hurts. I mean, it’s bullshit to cry about because there are a lot more worse things that we gotta figure out but…I don’t know…it’s stupid…”

“Nah, it ain’t. You got every right to be upset. It’s been somethin’ you’ve dealin’ with for a better part of your life. I mean, I don’t know if you ever gave yourself some time to let it out but if you gotta, you gotta. It ain’t stupid, Y/N.” You only rested your head against his built shoulder, feel at ease from his words. Being the man that never really shared his thoughts and feelings as often as he should, the thought of him seeing you like this gave you the idea that he probably thought you were weak.

“I just…I don’t get it with other people….”

“Me neither.” You slithered your arm through Daryl’s, comforting yourself with his warmth. For some reason Daryl didn’t think anything of the contact like he usually would. He would usually flinch or pull away but he only melted when you touched him. He guessed it was because he knew deep in his subconcious that you wouldn’t do anything to harm him. He also took a guess to think that if he did, you would’ve taken it the wrong way and the last thing you need was having your friend wriggle his way out if your grip.

The both of you only sat there in each others comfort for a bit. Other good friends would actually talk things through but you and Daryl only needed each others company to get whatever it is you have off your chest.

“You always looking out for me?”

Daryl didn’t feel uncomfortable at the question like he did earlier. He only took a moment to think on how to answer it before he responded. His hand found yours and soon his fingers entangled with yours, gripping it tight.

“‘Course. Always have, always will. Too good to let anyone treat like shit. You deserve better,” You looked at his shy blue eyes while he looked back at yours. “Even if you think ya don’t.”

He wasn’t nervous. It was strange because he should have been. It was in his nature to be uncomfortable with affection as he never grew up with an affectionate family to teach him it was okay to display it but he wasn’t. He only felt the will and need to do so. He leaned with both of your foreheads touching and then his nose rubbing gently against yours. You didn’t realize your other hand went to rest on his cheek as your hot breath hit against his lips. And then a small peck was given to test the waters. You didn’t pull away so Daryl went in for another and then another until he left his lips against yours for much longer. You caved to this weakness and did what he couldn’t do soon enough and actually kiss him with your head tilted and taking more from him than what you thought he wasn’t able to give.

When you both pulled away, there was a sense of resistance. Neither of you wanted to back away because for some reason you felt that you both weren’t ready for the immediate aftermath. The afterthoughts. Daryl was worried he took advantage of you in your moment of weakness while you worried that you he kissed you because you looked like a kicked puppy that he needs to take care of.

At first you couldn’t look at each other in the eyes but it was too much pain in not knowing how the other was feeling, so you were the first to look up and he looked down at you. Daryl could feel your thumb rubbing against his cheek and though he couldn’t find the words to express how he felt, he simply placed his hand on top of yours, keeping you in place. You only closed your eyes not wanting this feeling to go away.

Daryl leaned his forehead against yours once more and both just closed your eyes enjoying the company that you two were in. He only gave you another small peck and then pulled you in for a well deserved hug. You held onto each other like this for awhile until you both fell asleep with yourselves still intertwined to each other.