#and on some level i still dont feel like i deserve to be actually happy

[sw33t-oubliette]

having realizations about your mental health is stupid as fuck . like dawg i dont want to think about this stop making me realize

[snekdood]

No one accepted you and loved you unconditionally and instead of doing it for yourself you take it out on anyone who has figured out how to do it for themselves.

[mothhuuny]

my nicolina post went over rwally welll so now im going to be insane about her sniles so sneetly

okay. so. nicolina. the barber. woman going through the worst manic episode ever.

all of the bloodfiends have one form or another of "i cant be honest with my feelings or else everything will go wrong" and nicolina's from of that is "i need to always be silly and unserious or else people will think i'm able to experience negative feelings and if i experience negative feelings the people around me will feel Bad" and she also projects this onto the bloodfiends around her, which leads to the whole mask thing

in her prime, she was actually quite smart and level headed! (esp since its established that she helped create the hemobars. girl is smart!) of course, 200 years being denied your basic necessities will drive a bitch insane so thats why she is the way she is during canto 7. my personal headcannon is that she was a researcher or doctor of some kind, which is also why she's partial towards the plague mask. she's still a doctor, but with a fun little flair now!

when sancho and don quixote aren't around, nicolina becomes the de-facto leader. we can see this in the story, actually. she seems to be the one who thought up the plan in the first place, and in preist!greg's uptie story we can also see that she was most likely the one that actually recruited members for the plan as well. not to mention being the person that took the initiative and sewed masks on everyone. thanks girlie.

i mentioned the fact that nicolina has a pair of scissors on her necklace in my previous post. personally, i think that those are the scissors she actually uses when shes sewing. the big scissors are for show/combat. her workspace tends to be hectic and she loses stuff a lot, so she keeps the smaller ones her necklace so it doesnt get lost as easily.

bonus abt the scissor necklace. i pointed that fact out to my polycule and my boyfriend said "her chewelry..../most likely not" in response and i think he's actually SO FUCKING TRUE ABOUT THAT. nicolina has a tendency to chew on things when focusing or stressed, and her most common victims are her dress, her fair or her scissors. basically anything nearby that isnt herself. the scissors have the worst texture to bite down on but also they dont leave fibers in her mouth like fabric or hair. she's definitely ripped her dress before by biting down on it and accidentally tearing it.

more of a character analysis thing but i find it SO FUCKING TELLING that she literally BEGS to die with her mask on. the mask is both the representation of their suffering, as well as, you know, an actual mask that hides their feelings. she doesn't want anyone to see the ugliness hidden underneath. she wants everything to be in control. if she's still happy, if she's still alive, then that means some of this is salvageable. she can fix this. they will suffer for years and years on end because they is what they deserve but they will survive and she will make sure of it because she need to fix this. it's her job.

the reason she goes insane and basically forces herself into a constant manic state is because she can't be sad or else she'll have to acknowledge to herself and those around her that they are royally Fucked. which, of course, leads to her losing herself even faster becaue of the pressure she placed on herself.

i think the resentment she holds for sancho is merely because she desperately wanted a connection between the two, but sancho denied her at every chance. not consciously, mind you, but because of how scared sancho is of connection. even in the world where she chooses the family above her father, she keeps them all at arm's length.

i believe all of this because, when nicolina saw sancho again, as don quixote, above all else she was excited. don quixote herself describes nicolina as giddy.

you could say it's because she's actually trying to hide her anger, or that she's hallucinating quixote senior over sinner quixote, but i dont think either of those are the case.

i think it's because she knows its sancho that she's so excited. shes aware of where quixote senior is, still on the windmill where they all left him to rot, there's no reason for her to *not* know that. we can also see that she's prone to moments of lucidity, as seen here:

but i also don't think... she's really hates sancho? sure, sancho left them all, and she seems angry at her later for abandoning them and never wearing her clothes, but i think that may be just what she's telling herself. i think she's moreso angry at the idea of sancho. or at least what she did. she hated the fact that father clearly loved her more, but also that, of all people, shes the one that got off scott free. she should be just as guilty ad the rest of them!!!! shes a bloodfiend too!!!! but no!!!!!!! apparently she's perfect and innocent just because she was father's favorite!!!!!!!!!!!

but now she's back and she's going to pay the price all of them did! together!! as a family!!!!!!!

just

augh

nicolina..., i miss you girlie.

sniffle

[seokmn]

we all know bss always eat up when it comes to comebacks, but i think teleparty is just on another level.

the aesthetic is one of the best ones ive ever seen in my 4 years of being a kpoper and the songs are top tier (as always ☝️)

but i think that teleparty is way more meaningful because of the way they talk about youth and tell us to enjoy it. when the how is your youth? video came out i couldnt even watch it without tearing up cus that video GOT ME FOR REAL.

the pandemic took some good years of all of us. it took me the last two years before high school and after that i had to listen to my friends talk about how great the last year before high school was for three years when all i did that year was stay at home and use kpop as some kind of way to run away from my bad thoughts. i felt like i lost an important part of my life everytime they brought up that year.

i also always have been the type of person who has as a priority studies and i dont necessarily think its a bad thing, but it becomes a bad thing if you only live for it and that was exactly what i did for years. it was awful, i used to get so stressed to the point of having sore muscles, lots of nightmares and pimples. fortunately, now i know how to take breaks and i know i deserve some rest as well. but deep down im always scared of becoming that type of person again.

even tho im still young, i cant help but think that im not enjoying my youth, that im not living enough like an average 18 years old person lives and thats when bss comes in. the way they talk about youth in such a positive way is so comforting for me!! i love things that i know itll make me feel alive and remind me that im still young and i have so many years ahead and they never fail to give me that feeling and reminder.

i think prime time is for the ones whos stuck in their own bubble and feel bad about it, feel like theyre wasting their precious time that will never go back. the song gave me the feeling that doesn’t matter youre age, youre still allowed to enjoy your life, to enjoy your youth doesnt matter how.

life is not only about studying and working, life is about the small and big things that you do for yourself in order to make you happy, to make you feel like life’s worth living. with that being said, dont overwork yourself. give yourself the rest you deserve! go on a walk, go out with your friends, start a new hobby, do anything that will make you think “wait, living is actually fun”

[squidpedia]

Hi! I wanted to ask for advice on finding an artstyle, I've been drawing for sometime but I still dislike my style.

Thank you in advance :D.

Hi hiii

Whenever my artstyle gets kinda boring to me, I try asking myself questions to figure out what exactly is it about my artstyle that I don’t like. Things like what is it about my art that feels boring to me while this other’s artist’s work excites me? What makes me most insecure about this piece? What do my favorite artists do in their artworks that I don’t do?

This isn’t to put yourself or your work down, make sure to go out of your way to still note anything you like or are particularly proud of in any of your artworks, you work hard on your art and that deserves to be appreciated, even if your artstyle isn’t quite at where you want it to be yet! But this is mainly what I do to try to address reasons my artstyle isn’t giving me as much joy, and what changes I can make that might make me happier. Most of the time I can’t really put my finger on what it is that I dislike about my art, so I keep these questions in the back of my mind while I try experimenting through doodles and messing around with my style in each one. Have some doodles dedicated to things you dont normally try in your artstyle. Varying eye sizes and distance from each other, some doodles with different ways of stylizing noses, trying varying levels of realism vs cartoonishness when drawing characters, and trying different brushes if doing this in digital art. If any specific doodles jump out to you as kinda neat, take note of whatever you did in that doodle and try it more often!

(Sorry i was doing this in a hurry but definitely couldve utilized more full body shots, varying poses, face at more side angles, coloring styles, would 100% reccomend experimenting with that too. But this is mostly what those batches of experiment doodles usually look like for me)

As always, it doesn’t hurt to also study other artists’s whos stuff makes you so happy and figure out what it is about their art style that excites you so much. Whatever that may be, think about if its something you want in your own art style and try replicating and practice doing it if you do want to take your art in that direction.

Quick example from me but november 2023 i remember starting to feel super uninspired with my artstyle. I asked myself what felt like the most unrewarding part of the process for drawing and realized the answer was my lineart. At the time I was seeing a lot of @/bixels ‘s artwork of drawing mlp characters as humans from the 1920’s americana and was so delighted by their lineart. I kept experimenting with brushes in my doodles and realized that using the gel pen reminded me somewhat of bixels’ art, so I took that and ran. It was a neat change after a while of having thicker lineart and actually having fun with pressure sensitivity and how the brush is able to taper.

This is what i found works for myself so im not sure how well it applies to other people or if i worded everything well, but I hope its at least a bit helpful in some way!

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 155 spoilers n thoughts below cut etc u know the drill

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bug when u lift a rock

i love when he has lil soft smileys like this theyre his best look heehee

THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN WAS MELTING OVER EARLIER TODAY BTW. IM GOING INSANE

THIS HAD ME SHIVERING . TREMBLING LIKE A WET CAT. "when someone really misses another person... they might meet again here." GHH . HGGGGG AAAAAHHH

ok sorry uh. i dont have much insight this time around im just going insane over it,,, a place that represents happy memories and promises to stay together and yet suho has returned here, unable to hold onto both without the ache of loss bc his parents r gone AAAGGHHHG AA

how cruel how cruel how cruel,,, cruel reminders of what he can never return to,,, WHICH MAKES HIM SAYING "i already met my family." SOOO HEARTACHE TO ME

ok sorry im jumping ahead a bit but yeah suho feeling at home as a frontera and moving forward, beyond the memories and the past,,, im gonna THROW UP what the FUCK

ok bouncing back to some sillies this ep LOL

A MAN ON A FUCKING MISSION 😭 LLOYD U MONSTER HAHAA javier being happy that lloyds back to his motivated self tho makes me so happy WEEHEEHEE

ALSO JAVIER IMMEDIATELY BECOMING SOCMED FAMOUS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA honestly the ppl who r taking pics. so real. me too. i can only imagine how insanely pretty javier would b if he was in our world,,, his protagonist-level good looks are dimensional constants .

i am a little bit confused as to why javier said this considering he was so ready to bring lloyd back at all costs when they first got here? mmm maybe his worries were quelled when they were taking the mountain trail to the tower? im not quite sure,,, maybe i missed smth

ALSO HIS FRIEND OMGGG

IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN hes working construction now too!!! wahoo!!! hes still got that face tho lol

OH OH AND THE COP CHASE RIGHT

javier folding the clothes is so silly hes such a good lil guy 😭 vs lloyd just leaving them scattered LMAOOO it was nice of them to leave a note n the gold for the cop guys tho!!

i also liked that the cops kept fucking posing thru out the whole ep HAHAHA ive never seen jjba but its like jjba level posing theyre so silly

AND FINALLY YAA THEY GOT ALL THE MATERIALS SECURED

i rlly liked javiers lil "!!" at the bottom here HEHEHE

so so happy they got the stuff!!!! restoration of fate can SUCK AN EGG THEYRE GONNA BEAT IT!!!! hopefully

afaik theres no telling what the jewel of truth is gonna actually say abt fighting fate,,, or whether or not the jewel will give the answer that easily,,, hopefully it goes smoothly lloyd deserves a break atp 😭😭😭

also how r they gonna put the thing together havent they been flying over the ocean w draggy recently . werent the mermaids tryna figure out who was commanding draggy so that they could sic em for opening that portal to hell 😭 WILL THAT B A PROBLEM? (dont actually answer that)

man oh man milestone achieved but still so much to do for these guys,,,, i wanna put them in a box and contain them and let them have a break they deserve it

ok thats it for now,,, if i start brainrotting again ill prolly post abt it here or on twitter,,, see yall next week!!!!

[makingspiritualityreal]

it just sucks if you want to be moderately normal to say the least yet every other person now has adhd and a screen addiction thats so bad they cant put their phone down not saying im perfect at it myself but i think we have to be better than this if we want to really be happy. yet everyones normalised all of this internet phone screen time and so on that i cant see an end to it any time soon.

then every other person talks in some weird language you dont know nor care about because everything is intended to be a viral meme or some other shit. thats why i wanted to know if time travel was real or not because ya girl wants to go back to a non internet era. it seriously was moderately better and as kids we had no urge to be on a device so long. it is ridiculous when u think abt it. but now i feel like i need to be indoctrinated into the same view points as everyone else and it makes my brain feel like mush afterwards.

i dont think people arent even aware of how bad they genuinely sound even the saying dont forget to like and subscribe, leave a comment down below is enough to make me not want to do that but at the same time i still feel swayed into subscribing to someones attention seeking desires for them to be known. i also feel like that was liam paynes demise he loved it too much and was addicted to being known that he couldnt not be known if that makes sense? i mean he was in THE biggest bg of his era thats pretty substaintial proof of his success but that alone still wasnt enough for him not to mention they all get diddled with early on its so unpleasant to think of what they must really be like when they arent trying to be something theyre not.

You can’t control the world but you can work on yourself.

The fact that you think you owe anyone a like or a subscribe is an internal problem. You can do what you want and no one can tell you otherwise. It’s your allowance of it that will make or break your life.

You also don’t have to participate in the collective madness. There are people out there who live differently than what you described.

What you focus on grows. There will always be something wrong with the world. Some things don’t deserve your time or attention. A lot of what you said is a US problem.

I had the opportunity to live in Canada, USA and Europe among people of various income levels, from poor to well off, and people outside of the US live differently. They have communities, they have real friends, they actually meet and put their phones down. People also have social media success all around the world. There are many ways to live and you get to choose not to associate with what bothers you.

[dangaer]

as promised, please find a little bit more about my cxm and cupi.para muses below!

colla.r x malice has so much untapped possibilities it's actually amazing! aij.i and mine.o are both former cops ( investigations and field ops specifically ) who are now part of a separate private investigation unit. they're absolutely perfect for your standard whodunnit plot: did your muse end up on the wrong side of town and become the only witness to a crime related to adonis? did your muse kill someone else and now has ended up having to play a seperate role? did they know the deceased, and may now have a key piece of information? these guys will be right up your alley!

talking about bodies ... kagey.uki, in turn, is a forensics scientist investigator. recently appointed as the head of the government mandated group investigating the same group that aij.i and mine.os gang is. his area of expertise is profiling. he's going to be at the crime scene, but he's also going to want to get to know people around the crimes at the same time. if you're looking for a bit of spice in your life, we could explore the route of an prolific interview, a conversation where it's clear he is analysing your muse to an extremely dedicated level! he has another side of him that is more spoiler specific, so if you're looking to go further into his route / character please feel free to message.

kei has a bit more of a ... unique route. the only character who isn't directly linked with investigations but rather an special officer himself. his role is mainly bodyguarding influential figures, such as politician's or celebrities. his current goal is hanging around aij.i yana.gi and his team because they are his latest group to protect! the fact i've written him for at least 2 years without getting a bodyguard plot is insane :( please let him protect your muse. or, what if ... your muse is going against the person he's going to protect? who doesn't like a fight?

saeki can follow the same path as them all regarding crimes but truthfully as an officer he'll be handling much else outside of it. he's also a frequent bar goer who is ... pretty infamous for doing silly things went drunk. he's just a silly little guy. ( with some spoiler related plots but feel free to dm for those!)

with them all having such unique characters the idea of dynamics where people meet them for their eccentricities / unusual personalities but then meet them when they're on the job. so they can see both sides of the dynamics, muse specific though - i think they all kinda deserve a childhood friend. a.iji was a bit of a delinquent and kageyu.kis is a bit spoilery ... but something about having someone by your side is very. yeah!

cupi.d parasite has some great characters. shelb.y snail is a ceo for a massive corporation: cup.id corp. black tie events, business meetings and deals could also be a potential avenue for other potential business based muses. to flip side this. his route has one of my favourite plot points: fake / pretend relationship. not to live your lynette dreams but ... i think fake / pretend rel plots are fun. they dont have to end with love, our muses can actually hate each other. lets see who poisons the glass first, shall we?

rau.l is actually the loml but also an famous actor of many action movies. he grew up, and still has interest in, archaeological sites. does your muse tend to go exploring places like this on their own? even find themselves easily lost in museums or other places holding immense history? he's right up your own alley! he's an absolute fountain of knowledge and always happy to ... overshare, perhaps. ive spoken about them before but he's infamous in having fwb relationship - come on, fwb with an actor??? can you say no to that???

alla.ns occupation isn't as star studded, but that doesn't mean he isn't involved in a lot of scandal. is your muse struggling to get over someone they love? well, alla.n is particularly your type for the fact he loves that sort of thing. there's a, uh, supernatural secret hes holding but that is ... a secret unless you wish to be spoiled or have played the game. either way we can play around with this twist just as much, too!

to list gil.ls occupation, there's simply a major list: ceo, author and editor. compared to shel.by who comes off as work oriented, gil.l is very much understanding to the personal balance, to which he will be a strong advocate of spending time for your house too! anyone who is a fan of literature, perhaps even love stories, may find themselves interested in the: ' love letter to you series ', which him meeting a fan who has read his works? would be such a cute idea. or someone who reads it and finds his way of writing not quite so great ... the angst would be so fun: the cliche, he's right behind me moment isnt he? gil.l wont take offence, he'll just simply understand and call it a day.

these guys are notorious for being liked but similarly rejected, professionals at being dumped on dates and infamously known on a dating companies list as the most problematic customers. talking to them about love would truly be a fun twist, though simply being their friends and living through whatever they have to offer is also another flick of the switch. i really want more black tie threads, and i think they bring the perfect opportunity for that!

[blessedshortcake]

My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

[horseimagebarn]

welcome to the first weekly horseimagebarn interaction recap where every week i find the important tags reblogs and comments you lovely people have left for me to read and i respond to them in one fun post i will do this every friday to recap another week of horseimagebarn so get ready

if i were to make any other blog in the manner of the horseimagebarn it would likely be fish as i feel there is more variety in regards to fish and while i love new world monkeys and many of the old world variety there are certain types that really frighten and disconcert me and many pictures of monkeys you see in the modern day are actually apes which i have a distaste for though it is no fault of the apes and i do not blame them at all and still love them as creatures of this beautiful earth to put it simply i dont like their nipples and one time i saw one shit into its own hand and eat it right in front of me and it really gave me a fright however back to the fish subject i have gotten really into fishkeeping as of late and i thoroughly enjoy them and find it a most rewarding hobby to tend to a mini ecosystem in my own home and i love the practice dearly however i am dedicated to the continuation of this account for as long as possible and feel my interest in this blog is a one time thing that i must give myself to fully and if i were to make a fish blog it would be one for my personal fish and also i love you too though i do not know you personally i feel and appreciate your affections

this comment has given me much to think about as i am not he and this fellow as i have googled seems to be a politician and i do not prefer to associate myself with those types of folk especially those who participate in totalitarianism and fall off of their horses i am in fact a little hurt you would compare me to a rotten man such as this the further i look into it and i ask my audience to refrain from comparing me to such in the future

i agree with this commenter immensely i always post images after giving the origins of the image the benefit of the doubt as i want to believe every human treats animals with respect and care and i want to spread the message that animals are beautiful and intelligent and deserving of that respect and care using these images and i want to give these humans a level of trust that they are acting in the best interest of their animals and if it is discovered that they are not i will take proper action whatever that may be i have refrained from posting certain images due to these ideals before and i will continue in the future if it comes to it long story short please treat animals with respect and educate yourself on the best ways to do so and please know that i will never ever post an image in which i believe an animal is being hurt and if it comes to my attention that the animal is for certain being hurt i will remove it

thank you my friend i do indeed write poetry and have won one scholarship for it from my college in the past so i am happy that seems to permeate my life and the way i handle myself in general i have been thinking about submitting some of my writing to a literary magazine in my hometown recently and you have bolstered my confidence greatly i appreciate you

happy birthday my friend i hope you had a wonderful day

i love you dearly it is absolutely incredible to me that this account has gone from less than 100 followers to over 600 in less than a week i never thought that so many people would find joy in a blog i made as a silly side project to make myself and my girlfriend laugh every now and then but i am so happy we have gotten to this point

shoutout james

[shardpencil]

Wind and Truth Halfway point thoughts, opinions, and theories

Spoilers through the ending of Day Five under the cut

Going to take this Character by character. Most of what I'm gonna talk about happens Post Day 2 through the end of Day 5. Sorry I may be a little incoherent I am currently brainrotting with all the information flowing through my head.

Szeth

By FAR my favorite chapters, both flashback and present day. I'm...actually really surprised at how much I'm enjoying them, since they were not my top priority in days 1 and 2. Once the "defeat all the Honorbearers" plot started i was so hooked.

I can't help but notice how similar Kaladin and Szeth's flashbacks are..in a nostalgic way it brings me back to the feeling I had reading the WoK flashbacks for the first time. Kaladin even eventually points out how similar him and Szeth are at one point,so I think there's definitely something intentional happening.

Also Szeth's spren is toxic and unhelpful. He throws him a SPOON in a fight against two Honorbearers?!? Funny but also pathetic. Then goes to get NALE. UGH. Feeling that Szeth will need to ditch his spren to level up, or his spren's personality will change somehow, bc i can't see him moving forward as a Skybreaker with that thing at his side the way it is.

I'm currently suspecting that the voice that's been talking to him in his flashback is either an Unmade, the Stone (the ancient spren), or even Honor himself. Honestly I dont have much of a clue at this point.

And the fights!!! So thrilling. Each battle brings something unique to the table and bends my brain with how awesome it is. If anything it makes me wonder how on earth a live action adaptation of this series could be done...these are ANIME FIGHTS!!!

Szeth's lil sheepie Molli is so precious that scene was going so well until Mr Important Skybreaker Herald showed up ;-;

There's so much to talk about with Szeth I could keep going on but I'll leave it there.

Kaladin

Getting warm and wholesome vibes from Kal this book. He's basically acting as Szeth's therapist trying to convince him he deserves happiness.

Kaladin being genuinely happy and doing a kata with Syl warmed my heart...but definitely screams Syladin (idk it could definitely be platonic). Whatever makes Kaladin happy I support.

Also getting not so warm vibes..like Syl could somehow become killed or un-bonded from him (Maybe Syl would bond Szeth?). My suspicion is that Kaladin is on a path to becoming a champion or vessel of the Wind, and might show up to save the day against Odium when all hope seems lost in the final act. And then Szeth might eventually swear to him/the Wind as well. Armed with Nightblood, that may be enough power/epicness to defeat a god :o

Dalinar + Navani

I'm absolutely itching to see more vision as Dalinar and Navani slowly unravel the past. SOOO many revelations and so early on. Balances seriousness with some comedic moments coming from them serving as actors in the flashback scenes.

I CANT WAIT until Dalinar finds out about what a shitbag Gavilar was. I am absolutely vibrating in my seat for this. AAAAAAA

Also still getting some hints that Navani might ascend as Honor instead. But like, I'm not sure I want anyone to ascend as Honor? Honor did some pretty messed up stuff which included destroying Ashyn with the unchecked power of the Surges. I'm also worried that the "oaths" of the Knights Radiant may dissolve this book, making the Surges "free" again as they once were (which is obviously a problem)

Our main characters also now know how to make an Oathpact so that's cool and might be relevant down the line.

Gavinor

I was panicked while he was missing but thankfully he was found quickly and is only mildly traumatized. (Who was that friendly spren speaking to him???) Brandon is literally SCREAMING foreshadowing at this one being Odium's Champion. Not sure if its because I'm aware of the theories or of its something he wants readers to pick up by now. I suppose because of this reason it could also be a red herring.

I'm also worried he could fall into the hands of BAM or mess up an important vision at the more dire moment. Him being in the Spiritual Realm adds such a wildcard to everything.

Renarin + Rlain

AAAAA I'm so surprised at how well their story is being done it absolutely warms my heart. Both characters are learning their powers together, pining over each other, wondering if the other likes them back. And the "kiss"??? Ugh what a romcom this is

Their Enlightened Truthwatcher powers are also just so neat, they're just adding such a new dimension to the visions I'm excited to see where it goes. Refreshing to get more Renarin POV in general.

Shallan

I am worried about her. I thought she got rid of Formless??? I thought she got rid of Veil??? Right now her efforts to find Mraze and Iyatil are kinda my least favorite plotline.

Speaking of which, I'm puzzled why Mraize wants BAM. Yes she will help defeat Odium but thats BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE ODIUM IN HIS PLACE, and would be ARGUABLY WORSE THAN TODIUM. Ughhhh

Adolin

So this has been one of the most interesting and mind-numbing POVs. I feel like my brain is only marginally processing all the battle strategy paragraphs, HOWEVER, I'm kinda pulled in a few directions here.

Maya is so coherent now it's kinda jarring...she's also got the personality of a hardened soldier which makes sense I suppose. Interesting though, she seems to be worried about Adolin (we all know he needs a bit of therapy) but also affirming his will to be his own person and carve his own path.

Adolin also embodies an Edgedancer so incredibly much. He visits his soldiers and there's such much detail being put into how he treats other people, particularly those of different ranks than he or the sick and injured. He is being almost a ridiculously/comically good leader...a little over the top which raises some alarm bells in my brain.

yet, Adolin is starting to see/embrace how much he resembles his father in certain ways at least. He caught himself reaching Dalinar's infamous saying about "hyprocrites" that was in Oathbringer (the in world book), and he fully embraced Blackthorn mode as well for a moment there. Maybe this is a sign that he will start to empathize with him, making him ready to heal their relationship when they meet again? Or not, idk.

My major complaint is that Adolin's beef with Abidi feels too much like Kaladin and the pursuer in Rhythm of War.

What I'm most worried about is Adolin and BAM. What's happening here is more subtle, I think. Why is it that in Shallan's POV, BAM is brought up immediately after thinking about Adolin, now three times in this very book? She either thinks of them consecutively or even seeing BAM around Adolin or in his own shadow. Then the convo with Mraize talking about how BAM wants to kill Odium bc perhaps the "the parent's greatest threat is their own children"....makes me VERY WORRIED ABOUT THE PARALLELS HERE. Hopefully it is just a coincidence...ha ha

Maybe Adolin's path will be to use surges in this way outside of Honor's Oaths? Or maybe he will still be normal but have a sorta half-bond with Maya (which would be my favorite option).

Adolin pushing Noura to allow Yanagawn some freedom is going to backfire. :(((( If the Emperor falls, so does Azir.

Jasnah

JASWIT DIVORCE WOOT WOOT. She had few chapters but I am loving them so far. I feel like her fight will come a little later in the book.

Venli + Sigzil

Grouping these two together because im getting so much nostalgia being on the Shattered Plains again. AAAAAAA

For Venli Im surprised at the lore drops...and the chasmfiends??? The CHASMFIENDS ARE ACTUALLY CUTE. I would adopt one. How much do you wanna bet they'll show up to protect Narak on the backs of Chasmfiends like the Fremen riding the army of worms in Dune???

Sigzil's chapters have also been a joy. His spren is like a lil calculator... ^w^ Excited to see this battle play out and what secret's they discover.

Conclusion

At this point, I am liking this book far more than RoW. *knocks on wood*. I can kinda see the vision with where Brandon may be going with this but i feel he might throw a sideways punch and then thump us over the head with more plot twists.

Really having a good time with this, especially Szeth chapters. He may be my new favorite character, alongside Adolin

[natasha-in-space]

Hey im the matsuda enjoyer anon who pointed out that he and yoosung are basically the same guy.

I cant help but imagine......what if they met, i mean in the age of social media its not impossible. While I dont think matsuda was a gamer but he was very much into pop culture and so is yoosung.

What if they both unite over their love for a certain kpop group (in my head its Girls Generation) and become internet friends

I can imagine after the good ending yoosung prolly might go to japan a couple of times for work related stuff or just to enjoy with MC (and drag seven with him as well)

What if the now mid-late 20s yoosung (who is a vet) meets the now early 40s matsuda (who is still a cop but is confined to desk jobs cuz the task force was tired of his shenanigans). What if they decide to share a drink and eventually have a long conversation. What if they start their talks by talking about their shared interest and eventually ending up venting after realising that they had been through a similar journey (being infantilised by their friend groups grief low self esteem yet keeping an optimistic outlook in life) and perhaps share advices to each other whilst being drunk which struck a chord in each other's heart.

I can see matsuda being an older man advising yoosung but i could also see yoosung (who has accomplished a lot in a short time despite his own struggles with loss grief and of course the eye injury) advicing matsuda. Both of them reassuring each other that it will get better (bye im crying)

Good to see you back Matsuda anon! I must say, this ask made me grin so wide as I was reading it. I adore it when people make two of their faves meet and become friends. It's such a sweet notion, both as a way of expressing your shared love for these characters, as well as a neat basis for new interesting analysis. (It's my own guilty pleasure as well, hehe)

Meeting someone who understands what it's like to struggle with grief, conflicting feelings about someone who was once very important to them, and the frustration of never being taken seriously due to their young age would benefit them both greatly. While they both must have overcome the last problem by that point, discussing it with someone who understands can still be very cathartic.

Having a good friend who can make Yoosung feel comfortable and understood is something he deserves. It's also heartwarming to think of Matsuda becoming a new kind of role model for Yoosung! Not on the same level as it was with Rika, but just as a figure of strength and motivation for him, when things are tough. Having friends who are older than you can be a very beneficial experience as you are moving through life!

And as for Matsuda... It'll definitely do him some good to have someone with whom he can openly discuss what he had to go through. Sure, he has a few people like that, but none that can actually fully relate on a deeper level. I also think he'd be super impressed by Yoosung. By all that he managed to overcome and achieve in his (relatively) young age. His determination to better himself and to protect his loved ones, him finding (or rather resurrecting) his passion for his own path in life, and him resolving what conflicting feelings he still held for Rika... It's so much, and it's-

It's inspiring.

I know I said that Matsuda can become a new role model for Yoosung, but it goes the other way around as well! Having these talks with the younger vet can greatly motivate Matsuda to work on himself further and pursue what he truly wants. It's never too late to restore your happiness. It's rather sweet to think about, actually. Two people who share similar painful experiences planting fresh seeds of hope into one another that everything is going to be okay. As you put it: it will get better.

On a lighter note, the thought of them being fans of the same girl groups makes me giggle. (Them going to a Girls Generation concern??? More likely than you'd think! Although Saeyoung will definitely tag along and create some mischief) I feel like they both are still struggling with openly expressing their likes and interests, as they got teased for that in the past, so it'll be very beneficial to them to have a safe space to chatter excitedly about this or that, without fear of being judged. Being passionate about something is not a bad thing, and should be celebrated! On that note, they will definitely send each other exclusive merch and buy each other tickets for events. There are some benefits to having a friend in a different country!

Overall, it's nice to think of these two being good buddies. It's what they deserve. And I love reading your thoughts on them! :)

[crows-home]

Kotetsu's a bad dad, but also a good dad. He loves his daughter so much. But he's neglectful. He always thinks about Kaede, but he doesn't really know her. Here are some things I've been thinking about that, because holy shit.

Fuck I have so many thoughts about Kotetsu. He's a good person, he's a good hero, he tries his best always. Even if he's embarrassing or is a liability, he's always willing to go. Willing to put himself or his pride at risk for the sake of what's right.

But he's not a good father. Always gone, so focused on his work, that he never sees his daughter. And sure, he loves her a lot. She's his whole world and the reason he pushes himself. But that doesn't negate the fact that Kaede never had a father that was present as she grew up. And all his attempts at connection- his words, his gifts- they all feel so... surface level? "Ill give her a hair pin :) a teddy bear :) my little itty bitty baby girl"

No, buddy. Your daughter grew up. She's not four anymore. You need to communicate with her, learn her interests, and support her. Not just give her presents and empty promises. Not just talk down to her. And I know it's not all his fault. Single father, widow, the fate of so many people on his shoulder on the regular. He's not perfect, has no idea what he's doing, and just desperately wants his daughter to like him. To be proud of him.

But he was the younger sibling, probably didnt have much experience with kids younger than himself. I've seen it before. He's a parent that just wants to be Good Enough. Doesn't want to make the wrong move, and in doing so, is too loose with his parenting. Not confident.

But god, he's his daughter's biggest cheerleader, even on the side.

All Kaede had was her grandmother, who she could lose at any minute, and a dad that would always choose his work over her. She didn't know her dad was a hero, so that's all she saw. It's so much anxiety for a kid, and it makes me sad to think about.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN THEY TOUCHED ON IT IN SEASON 2!!! like, Kaede actually calls him out on it!!

"Just neglect me like always. It's all you're good for!"

Fuck, hearing her say that made me flinch. It's true, and he knows it. But by season 2, it feels like Kotetsu's more... mature? I think part of it is Kaede knowing that he's a hero now, so she's not always hurt when he says he has to leave her for a "work emergency." And part of it is knowing that she's growing, she's not a baby, she can handle herself.

It's a hard transition, realizing this kid who used to depend on you to feed them, keep them clean, keep them safe, doesnt need that anymore. Suddenly they're doing things on their own, they dont need constant supervision, and you have to let go and realize that they can keep themself safe. But it's a weight off his shoulders, I think. That realization.

My daughter will be okay. I'm here for her now, if she needs me, but i cant protect her from every little thing, and maybe i dont need to.

its just. he's not perfect. i dont think he was a very good father at all, in the beginning. and Kaede is absolutely allowed to resent him for that. She needed him there, and he wasn't. She's allowed to feel abandoned and alone, even if she knows her father was off saving the world or whatever. it obviously still bugs her, and i'm so glad that was included. Instead of just keeping her as the two dimensional "yay my dad is so cool now that i know he's Wild Tiger! Everything is fine with me now :3"

But they'll both just have to live with it and grow with each other. Kotetsu is becoming a better parent, as best as he can, along with all the other worries he has. Kaede deserved a better father growing up, deserves it still, but is becoming a confident young woman, still navigating through it all.

i dont know how to end this. it just really hit me to see a family dynamic like this. i love it so much, would love to explore this more one day.

[iamtheoneandonlyever]

my color theory on byler and mlvn

i made this color theory a couple months ago when i wasn't on tumblr so its been lying around. so imma share it

its kinda long so beware i guess?

i have two ways of imagining this theory so that it includes more possibilities. for reference i imagine the main trio's individual colors as

mike-blue (for obvious reasons) will-yellow (for obvious reasons) el-purple (bcoz purple flowers)

and just for understanding, max-red (i picture her as a flame and a flame for me is red)

according to this color scheme,

mike + el = just a bluer purple or navy blue

there is nothing new we get out of it. its repetitive and they dont mix together all that well. its JUST a mixture of them as people.

also, its interesting that el = mike + max according to the color scheme.

the only people el has interacted with (just not on a surface level interaction but actually made an impression on her) who also her age are: mike and max. this just shows she's still picking up on things around her and is still just trying to be her own person.

also note that the result is the same for both additive color mixing and subtractive color mixing.

symbolism of navy blue: trust, stability, reliability last season proved that el has been lying to mike and vice versa. they are both lying to each other even though it was introduced by mike(in the show) that friends dont lie. their relationship is not stable at this point. el is not happy that mike is unable to say ily to her and while that issue is solved at the end of the season, we are shown that el is still not talking to mike. that doesnt sound exactly stable and reliable even though that's what the symbolism tells us. you wanna know WHY?

because el and mike aren't showing their true colors! (sorry, not sorry lol) not to each other at least.

and onto byler:

subtractive color mixing: mike + will = green

as compared to mlvn, we see that mike and will together make something new, something fresh.

green symbolizes growth, new beginnings, safety mike and will confide in each other. they do that coz they are best friends. they feel safe with each other. it also accounts for character growth in both of them. will realizing that, yes, he can have good things, he does deserve what he wants and for mike, he deserves someone who loves him unconditionally, is at an equal level as him and that he too can actually have what he wants. it also give both the characters new beginnings. i could go on and on but for the sake of not extending this post longer than it has to be,

additive color mixing: mike + will = white

white symbolizes purity, innocence, loyalty purity directly counters the fact that lgbt people were said to be unpure and carriers of AIDS during the 80s. this shows how love cannot be impure. love is the best thing this world can offer. they are just innocent kids who have been through too much, just experiencing young love.

all of this is also applicable in the context of friendship as their deep friendship is the root of the romance.

and this next part is for the people who say they think of el as red instead of purple, making mike, will and el all primary colors as they are the primary components of the story.

as mike found el while trying to find will who went missing due to some events, which are byproducts of el's actions. it all comes full circle to the 3 of them. i am not saying will went missing because of el, but you've gotta admit that el does come into the loop a little.

so

subtractive color mixing: mike + el = purple

purple symbolizes royalty and luxury. most people want to be royals, but the dealbreaker is:

dun dun dun

conformity

people dont want to be restricted by always having to follow some restrictions all the time. mike also has to follow the restrictions from liking boys. he is forced to like el. forced by whom? himself. for him, it should be a luxury to be able to date el, a superhero, an amazing, kind-hearted girl, he has expressed this.

additive color mixing: mike + el = magenta (ignore the fact this is pink)

magenta symbolizes balance and harmony. there has been no evidence in the show itself that they balance each other out or are in harmony. it shows that mike sees el on a pedestal (you are a superhero) and they have not had more than two happy moments in one season alone when they started dating. you see, they were just fine when they were friends. the trouble started when they started dating.

also note the fact that byler works both for friends (as we have seen in the show) and romantic (as they probably will end) but mlvn as shown in the show for romance does not work out (s3 and s4), but as friends they can actually bond well and be friends (s1) as for s2, el probably finds the entire thing romantic but i dont think mike tries as much and just wants her back as he considered her as his friend (he does not move at all, either towards or away from el, when she tries to kiss him before going to close the gate with hopper).

also note that magenta and purple are both a bit similar to look at while there is obviously a huge difference between green and white.

to make it easy, i quote garnet from steven universe: i am more than the two of them together or something. i dont remember it exactly but this is the general idea.

if you made it this far, i am sorry. if i hurt your brain, i am sorry. if what i wrote is gibberish and makes no sense, i am sorry. *cries*

this is literally my third post ever on tumblr so i dont how to tag. i am not a native english speaker. Thank you for reading. i appreciate it.

[starsinkpop]

sans reading was quite sad I want to hug him so much and why oh why do kpop companies restrict idols from achieving their full potential? hes still young so he should know hes got eons of time to find a partner or just meet people heck if i were him i wouldnt care to say no (in other words he should lap it up a bit yaknow?) but i feel like he wants that one specific partner yet that also limits who he looks for in someone. he so sweet he really deserves so much success in his life. do you think he will ever go into acting? I reallllly want to see him act, give him a fight scene it would pair well with his taekwondo skills oml kq what are you doing?! if they dont make him an actor i will fly to korea and fight kq on this

will it even out for him at some point where he will feel happy with his current success?

I feel sad after his reading 😭 I’m the last person to defend kq but I think a lot of his issues are just in his head. I’ve seen him talking about tiny little mistakes he does stage (and I wouldn’t have noticed it if he wouldn’t have pointed it out) and I think he’s just a perfectionist. I remember him saying he always gives his everything when he’s on stage in case just one person is only looking at him. So if one little step is off I think he’s getting really stuck in his head and his pride is kinda standing in his way. I just love seeing this man perform honestly, he is in it with his whole heart and you can tell but he’s relatively harsh to himself sometimes. But I agree, I think he hasn’t shown his full potential yet because there’s just no space to do so. Which, as of now, seems to be okay with him I think. I think him and the other members want to fully focus on the group and the group only as long as they can. When the fame slows down a little I’m sure they will also focus more on solo projects that lets them shine in a different light. I do a reading about the acting later on, I wanna know too ☺️ I see him actually shine in a role as a villain, with some fighting scenes as well. As he just has this very powerful presence on stage that could even be intimidating. It’s such a nice contrast to his lovely, almost a bit bubbly personality off stage 💖 but really, let’s fight kq if he doesn’t get a role in a cool movie. He would be brilliant!

I just really hope he finds the love he is looking for but I think he has a hard time trusting others? Idk…it’s just a guess from past readings and his overall behavior. He’s always friendly and lovely with others but he keeps his emotions locked away which makes it hard for others to get to know him on a deeper level (speaking from experience here cuz same 😭). It almost seems like if he doesn’t feel a click right away he won’t waste his time on them as time is precious and he can’t just spend it randomly on someone he doesn’t really feel from the beginning. But that’s just a guess 🤷‍♀️ it’s really hard to get through his mind I think.

[winderlylandchime]

(1/2)The man came inside after a cigarette break, jumped right into 2x14, saw Justin dancing on the bar, paused the episode and went outside for another smoke. So i think he is handling it well. He is now back and his immediate reaction is ‘THIS IS BULLSHIT! Why are they making him do this, i know its his own doing BUT COME ON.. OH SO THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? My dudes, my bros, my mens..why aren’t we throwing punches yet?..oh Brian is pissed off! Why doesnt he say something? what is that freak of a fuck giving him? JUSTIN DONT TAKE ANY DRUGS FROM HIM’ *pauses the tv on Brian* ‘see the problem is that he looks very pretty when he is in a bad mood’ *throws his hands up in the air* ‘PICKLE GUY!!!!!!!! Oh pickle guy and Emy are going on a world trip!! I can’t wait! Theyre gonna have so much fun…oh she’s still being a bitch to Ben? Man fuck her, i thought she was better with him?’…’oh Brian knows about his classes! I swear i am totally normal about this! But like, i didnt even know my own classes but Brian knows Justins? Oh Brian is angry.. good for him! I like this! I mean I don’t like the Justin part but i do like Brian being all for his education and shit. That’s nice! I want more of that but less of that other shit.’ ‘I thought we wrapped up with cop bullshit? Why the hell is he here? Yeah, what are you doing her- SAY WHAT NOW? HE ASKED WHAT NOW? exactly debbie! Tell him! WE *points to her and himself* do not date or fuck cops!’ He high fived debbie on tv bc he’s happy she turned doen the cop..’brian actually showed up for Emmetts going away at work? I LOVE EMY AND BRI BRI!!! Oh for fucks sake justin! Just take the fucking money! You arent doing a very good job at looking out for yourself right now, that man is an evil evil little freak! And Brian clearly knows it!’ And the scene with Vic and Debbie is up. ‘exactly Debbie, he is a homophobe!! VIC MY BOY WHAT? HE DIDNT MAKE A TINY JOKE HE MADE A BAD JOKE! He doesnt need enlightening, what he needs is my foot so far up his ass his own mom can feel it! Why is vic being dumb? At least debbie knows he’s a homophobe. VIC STOP THIS MADNESS!’ ‘Oh look Justin remembered he has a school! Its Brian! I like this, i would like more of them hanging out. Justin doing his homework and Brian being with him. AFTER HOURS PARTY?! Absolutely not! Oh Brian knows this is bad news. Brian please stop this madness! *pauses tv on Justin* dude, me and Brian are trying so hard to get to you and you won’t listen to either one of us and honestly, it’s not cute!’ And now he is groaning loudly because Debbie is going on a date. ‘The problem i have is, this would be a cute moment if he wasn’t a…you know *said in a very disapproving way* a cop. OH THE FUCKING IRONY OF MIKE AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SHE IS A HYPOCRITE OF A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Oh fuck her times 70.’ And now the plane scene is up and i am not ready ‘AHHH PICKLE GUY AND EMY ARE ON A TRIP!! I need them to give me a cute little montage of them having cute moments all over the world! Like some italian music that’s upbeat and just random snapshots of them! YES I WANT THAT! Ohhhh they are gonna get down and dirty in the bathroom!! Gross but have fun babies, you deserve it!’ He is currently scoffing at everything Carl says ‘Debbie.. come on. You cant even look at Ben and say hi to him and you see nothing wrong with Car- oh thats why she said into him, theyre the same. Assholes!’ I am not ready for whats about to happen, i always get sad but i am not ready for this. ‘Oh look at them going at it! Hell yeah Pickle Guy and Emy live your best lif-*he is genuinely on the verge of tears* pickle guy?..pickle..? Is he. noooooooooooo PICKLE GUY! *he is actually crying at this point* PICKLE GUY NO! What about the world trip! And italy! And cute montage! Pickle’ He is genuinely sad and honestly same.

OH POOR BROTHER ANON, mourning the loss of Pickle Man (do not let him eat a pickle in his memory).

Your brother is right - We Do Not Fuck Cops in this house. ACAB. He’s going to be very disappointed in Debbie (again)

I love that he and Brian are now a team trying to get Justin to listen to reason.

Okay… let’s get to the next one because a couple of us have been wondering how Brother Anon was going to respond to Justin topping…