#and omg *twirls hair* you think I’m funny

[absdoll]

oh my godddddd i just read your sub!Abby fic and i'm just thinking of a fic where reader 'doms' Abby but really she's just letting you have your fun and we all know who's still in charge :) oh my god i'm losing it please i just know you would make it so hot,,,,,,,, omg i'm giggling and twirling my hair

yesyesyesyesyes ♡ 💗💕 exactly nonnie ! <3

cw: ice play (almost) , dom!abby , daddy kink lol

“hands behind your back.” you sternly say to your blonde girlfriend, who is manspreading in front of you on your shared bed, you stood between her muscular legs.

“yes ma’am” she giggles back at you, totally taking this seriously, and pins her hands to the small of her back.

you roll your eyes at abby and puff out your chest, “what’s funny? don’t make me get rough with you.” you warn her.

“not funny baby, just cute.” she bats her eyes up at you, making your tummy explode with butterflies.

abby is always in charge. sex, plans, grocery lists, cleaning, abby is always the one handling everything. and as much as you love being under her control, today you wanted to give her a chance to relax and be tended to. but it’s abby, and abby won’t let that slide.

you point your finger to her broad chest, “lay back.” abby raises an eyebrow at you, following your orders. “you’re liking this, aren’t you princess?” abby teases.

“yeah, i am, princess” you tease back. abby can admit that she finds it hot how you’re being so demanding and tough, she knows at any second though she can bend you over her knee and you’ll be a whimpering obedient mess like you always are, but she’ll let you have your fun for now.

you pick up a cup that’s to your left, swirling around the melting ice cubes in it. abby’s gaze shifts to your hand, still shaking the cup. “baby…” she nervously breathes.

“i’m gonna take off your pants, okay?” you slide her grey sweatpants down her legs, biting your lip at the sight of her blue boxers, removing those too.

you plop an ice cube in your mouth, but abby abruptly grabs your jaw. “spit it out.” she demands. you shake your head out of her grasp, spitting the ice cube on her chest. “tss-ahh! what the fuck!” she hisses.

“i’m in charge, remember? don’t interrupt me again.” as you reach for the cup, abby has decided she’s had enough of this.

the burly blonde sits up, sliding her boxers back up to her waist. you watch as she blatantly disobeys your orders.

“here’s what gonna happen my sweet girl. you’re gonna lay down, take off those cute little panties, put your hands behind your back, and sit pretty until i tell you you can move, got it?” she hovers over you, awaiting your compliance.

“b-” you try to regain your “control” you had just a minute ago, but abby’s patience is long gone. “nuh uh baby, all i want to hear from that little mouth is yes daddy.”

abby walks out of the room, leaving you to process what’s about to happen. you do as you’re told because abby can get scary when disobeyed. her blue crystal eyes get dark, almost stone grey.

you’re naked, hands flat under your back, thighs pressing together trying to relieve the uncomfortable sensation pooling down there.

the door creaks slightly, abby’s tall build standing in the doorway, arm resting on the frame above her head. “aww good girl.” she smiles at you.

her strap is tucked in the band of her boxers, the black silicone tip peering from the top. “and good girls get rewarded, yeah?” she walks towards you, eyes locked with yours.

“spread your pussy for me doll” she coos, eyes widening at your milky cream dripping down your thigh.

abby slaps your sopping pussy, letting a long string of spit land on your throbbing nub.

“you ready?” she smirks, positioning herself at your center.

💕 @whore4abby @enbesbians @hersweetheart @picklesarenice69 @abbystoy ♡

a/n : HI MY BABIES OH MY GOD I MISSED U ANGELS SO MUCH ♡♡ feels like i haven’t written in years , ik u lot are patiently waiting on dealer!ellie & i promise promise promise she’s coming soon 🎀💕 enjoy this fun req i got awhile ago , sorry it took me so long nonnie !!!

[httpiastri]

I HAVE THOUGHTS !!!!!

imagine being paul's girlfriend and since it's winter break you two get to spend more time together. Snuggling with each other, lazy mornings together, no rush, no chaos, just enjoying the little things.

And one day you see Paul playing some video games and you're just looking at the screen, curious about how the game works so you walk towards him and ask him if you could play with him, something Paul is very enthusiastic about and quickly grabs your waist so you could sit on his lap, your hands on the controller and his right on top of yours so he can help you a little ((((imagine the size difference, omg)))), everything is giggles and fun, you can't help but smile when sometimes he slips out a few words in estonian and even if you don't quite understand it yet, you love hearing him so happy.

(that insta story he uploaded not long ago made me think of this, his hair looked so fluffy omg😭 and the beautiful, bright smile as well<333)

you have thoughts!! and i’m very thankful to have been let in on these amazing thoughts!!!!! 🤭 winter break with paul 🫶🫶🫶

spending some good quality time together as the season has been so busy… lazy mornings spent in bed just chatting, twirling his curls between your fingers as he laughs about a story you told, his big warm hands pulling you closer… cozy afternoons spent walking around the city in the snow, or sitting in cute little cafés, fingers intertwined and kisses being pressed to rosy, frozen cheeks… and long nights filled with cuddles, movie-watching, and hushed whispers about the future…

but of course, he also likes to spend some time playing games now that he's finally off. usually, you take the time to do something for yourself when he's playing, but sometimes you get curious and want to watch him play. he's got this new game that you've never seen before, and it looks very complex but also very intriguing, so you walk up to him.

when you ask him all these questions about how to play, what the goal is, what that character does and how to use that special command, he secretly finds it so cute. he's basically melting on the inside. he's just about to ask if you want to try it out, when you shyly ask him "can i play?", and he melts some more. he's so enthusiastic about it, head nodding quickly and hands find your waist instantly. he guides you onto his lap, placing the controller in your hands before letting his hands land on your thighs, his chin resting on your shoulder as he watches the screen.

then, when he sees you struggling, he chuckles and places his huge hands on top of yours. he moves your fingers to help you out, guiding you and letting you know what to do, and sharing giggles with you when everything still goes wrong. eventually, you start to get the hang of – but you pretend that you don't, because you want him to keep his hands on yours…

and then, after that day, gaming together becomes a common occurrence. you sit down together, preferably (for you both) in his laps, trying out new games and playing his old favorites. fighting games, teamwork games, farming simulators – anything just to spend time together and stay close. it's also an easy way for you to learn certain estonian terms, especially funny little swearwords that slip out in the middle of his laughter when you both fail a level of a game.

and he notices quite easily when you start getting tired. he placed sweet kisses to the back of your neck, whispering something about how you can go take a nap together, but you shake your head at him. then you hand him the controller, turning around in his lap and telling him to keep playing – before leaning forward, nuzzling your face into his neck and slowly dozing off.

and he has such a hard time focusing on the game when your chest is pressed up against his, with your sweet scent filling his senses and your touch clouding his thoughts. but he loves it, and wishes time could stop and he could just have you in his lap forever. the game isn't as important.

[fridayvelvet]

Ty for including me💗

I also write fics!!

hey :) do you have blogs to recommend for people who love beyond evil? or queer centred kdramas in general haha? i don’t know who to follow i’m new on tumblr and was scrolling the beyond evil and random kdramas tags and got lost to be honest

hi anon!

while there are a lot of really lovely people in the beyond evil fandom, some of the people that i'm particularly friendly with are @b1uetrees, @tiffanylamps, @l-tyrell, @ahjussy, @unrememberedskies, @hanjuwonsupporter (who all write fics/have written fics).

some really lovely beyond evil gifmakers include @thoresque, @yeo-jingoo, @baek1nho, and @juwonah.

and some beyond evil artists include @sickandspiteful, @armouries, @soonsam/@sowarumnicht, @baguettemast3r, @dusty-nao, @thistlearts, @rosesotheracc, and @shhhsoftnwet!

and of course, some other beyond evil people that i'm friendly with/have chatted with on twitter before they migrated over here: @absentomnipresent, @feministdongsik, @moonshalf, @srabaskerville, @urheartsamess, @dulcetpill, @kseniyagreen, @iamatrueidiot, @juwonton, and i'm sure so many others that i might have missed (I'M SO SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE IT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU LESS!!!!! JUST THAT I HAVE LOST TRACK OF PEOPLE I FOLLOW!!)

[stxrmylxve]

Can’t Keep My Eyes Off of You

A/N: not me literally forgetting about this i suck omg anyways this is for the sundress szn collab being held by @saintshiba ! 🫶

Synopsis: With you walking around all day in your pretty little sundress, it’s near impossible for Draken to fight the urge to bend you over.

WC:

PAIRING: Draken x fem!reader

WARNINGS: unprotected sex, oral (fem!receiving), minor cussing, uhhh i think that’s it? lmk if i missed any!

“Draken, baby! Look at my new dress!” you exclaim, running into the living room and standing proudly in front of his view to the tv.

He nearly choked on his drink as he took in the dress; they way it hugged your curves perfectly, sending a strong warmth right down to his member.

He awkwardly coughed to cover up his apparent mistake as he held up a thumbs up, “Looks great on ya’. Where did you get something like that without me?”

“Haha, very funny. I shop on my own sometimes you know.” you deadpan, giving a good little twirl with a giggle slipping past your lips.

“I know it’s probably a bit step up from what I usually wear. But.. do you like it?” you ask sheepishly, sitting down next to him on the couch as you anxiously bit the inside of your cheek.

He drew in a sharp breath as he took note of how the dress adorned your thighs, the plush going perfectly with the cotton material.

“I said you looked great, didn’t I?” he says with a teasing grin as his hand snaked up to your thigh, rubbing soothing circles. You whines impatiently as you took his hand into your own, catching him off guard as he glanced over at you.

“I want you to show me you like it, I don’t care about petty words!” you exclaim, hiding your face in his chest as his mouth became agape.

“..You want me to show you, huh?” he thinks aloud, laughing whenever you hesitantly shake your head.

“Well then, my pretty girl,” he says as he slides off of the couch and onto the chilly floor below, “how about I show you right now how much I love this dress on you?”

His flips the edge of your dress up, a glint of surprise passing through his eyes as he takes note of the lack of panties. He grinned as he saw the faint sheen of your juices already beginning to form, proving that you were just as eager as he was.

His finger flicked your bud, your back arching into the couch as you let out a strained whine. His eyes flicked up to your own as he snickered, his hand gripping your thigh roughly to throw them over his shoulders as he delved into your heat.

His tongue lapped at your folds, eliciting a loud moan from you that he wished he would have videoed to save for later. Your hands flew to his head as you gently tugged his hair, his groan sending impossibly more pleasure to your core.

“Since I’m not that mean, I won’t fuck ya’ now, we will just settle for this. Don’t want your dress getting messed up now, do we?” he coes as your teary eyes glance down at him, your breath catching in your throat as you notice the slick on his chin being lapped up by his tongue.

“Y’er so vulgar..” you say as you lean back into the couch with a sigh, squeaking as he blows on your clit in annoyance.

“Am not. I’m enjoying my meal, that’s all.” he replies, dragging a finger from your bud down to your quivering cunt, grinning as you whine impatiently from the slowness.

“Mmmm… should we fuck now? I wasn’t planning on right now since I have a meeting soon… but I don’t wanna’ leave all of this alone r’now.” he asks nonchalantly, glancing at the time as he gets up anyways and unbuckles his belt.

“Go to your meeting and we can after-“

You squeal as he yanks you to the other side of the couch, laying you down as he pumps him length a few times. His lips pursed at your response, rolling his eyes as he laughed.

“We both know that you need me to fuck ya’ right now. It’s not like your fingers will do tha’ same my dick will once I leave.” he says, smearing the pre around your hole before slipping the tip in, inhaling sharply from the snug fit.

“God.. so fuckin’ tight, gonna’ snap my dick in half, bub.” he laughs, hooking his arms below your legs to hoist them up over his shoulders again. While lifting you up, his full length accidentally shoves itself inside, your eyes going wide as tears picked the corners of your eyes.

“S’deep- ryu!” you blab out, your nails pressing crescents into his wrists as you battled to take his length. The calloused pad of his thumb comes up to rub small circles on your clit as he slowly thrusts into you, his tip kissing your cervix as you let out a small whine.

“Deep, huh? I mean,- oh my- you’re tight as hell.” he gasps as you clamp down on him, almost falling over the edge just from that.

Though you loved the praise, you didn’t fully hear it as you yourself tumbled over the edge, your mouth forming a small ‘o’ as your back arched off the couch. His grip tightened to a bruising level as he continued to fuck you through your high, staggering out for a few more seconds before painting your insides white.

Small pants echoed through the room as you eventually giggled to yourself, wiping a sheen of sweat off of your forehead.

“Someone might think we’re fucking with all of the moaning going on,” you say, listening to the faint rustling from the apartment next door.

[sylvies-chen]

top five moments of 6x02 ♡

OMG I CAN ONLY PICK FIVE?? OK LET’S GO:

lie detector (tim’s ily) — I think this moment is my favourite part of the episode by far, because first off you have the question about the bugs which was SOOOO cute and so encapsulating of chenford’s relationship that it had me giggling at my tv and twirling my hair lol. but then lucy takes the time to seek out confirmation of his love out of her own will, not because she needed to be proven right but because she wanted to hear it 🥹 and he immediately says yes! he loves her! we finally get to hear it and the lie detector shows it’s true and it’s just so gratifying for chenford fans to finally get this

cop cutie! cute and on duty! — GUYS I KNOW IT’S CORNY BUT HATERS WILL HATE, DADDY COP IS A BANGER!! this was so funny and such an earworm— and to those saying they thought it was an old episode when it opened on that scene, lemme just say SAME lol— but then to up the ante by pulling out the choir as if literally singing for and rejoicing the 100th episode was just so perfect and classic rookie: a little hokey but well executed and fun and all around heartfelt. 10/10 I need it on spotify right now.

if I ain’t got you by alicia keys (lucy’s ily) — okay I’m scared some of you chenford girlies are going to tar and feather me for not putting this at number 1 or 2 but HEAR ME OUT: I’ve expressed my problems about this temporary argument solution!! I think this whole scene is so gorgeous for so so so many reasons: lucy and tim dancing as a couple for the first time, the matching outfits, the kiss, ugh all PERFECT I love my babies 🥹❤️ that being said, I don’t like how so much of the resolution/peace between them relied on tim being completely in the wrong when I feel like it’s a more nuanced issue than that and denies lucy any opportunity to critically reflect on her own feelings about this. and also, it does seem weird to me that she wouldn’t have said ‘I love you’ back to tim when he first said it?? they smile at each other but then they’re back to looking awkwardly from afar at the wedding (prior to this scene of course) and so I’m a bit uneasy at the implication (which the writers did not necessarily add on purpose) that lucy’s ily depended on him admitting he was wrong in any way. but idk maybe I’m just being too nitpicky here, I still ADOREEE THIS SCENE FOREVER AND EVER I want it on my grave k thanks

tim down on one knee — need I say more?? this imagery of him on his knee with the ring staring up at lucy was a glimpse at chenford’s future and it was such cute teasing, god I love writers and showrunners when they add messy fun little teaser moments like this! plus tim totally kicked ass, all covered in blood and ready to pass out, and ah, I do always say the best kind of lust is bloodlust 😌

bailan wedding vows — I actually cannot believe the day has come where a bailan moment is in my top 5 episode moments but these wedding vows showed me how the writers are finally able to articulate what works about them as a couple!! with someone as impressive and as versatile and skilled as bailey, I think literally any other man would feel threatened or emasculated, but nolan really is just Some Guy™️ who’s really into her and obsessed with her and is very sturdy ground for her to come home to. I wish we dove more into her past as a survivor of abuse because I feel like that previous situation informs so much of why she loves john even though, let’s be real: she’s eons above his league holy shit it’s not even funny how out of his league she is. but also she could never be with anyone else! she really just loves him and they have such a nice soft relationship which the wedding really sold me on. I liked it a lot even though I had my qualms about her and him as individuals and together.

honourable mention to wade and luna because I love them so much y’all they are adorable!! anyways, here’s my list and lmk if you agree

[soup-scope]

DUN DUN!

You have been bitten by the mutual virus. To cure yourself, you must provide one reason why you follow each of your mutuals before sending this to others (whether mutuals or not) while in anon.

Good luck!

This… is gonna be so long…..

@star-sheeps : absolutely fucking hilarious. i always catch myself giggling whenever i see one of ur posts!! i also loved the ‘styling the listeners’ lil series u were doing i love fashion content sm. you were also one of the first people i followed when i first joined the redacted fandom🫡🫡

@caramel-metal : you somehow find the funniest shit to ever exist. your blog is a genuine gold mine for content i would’ve have seen otherwise it’s so‼️‼️‼️‼️

@taelonsamada : i thought it was a mistake when u followed me back 😭😭 but ī absolutely ADORE your writing. i constantly find myself rereading between me you and the fence post ehehehe. i’m gonna be ordering your new book soon and i’ve been vibrating at a frequency that’s impossible to witness with the naked eye (translation: im very excited)

@davidsfanclub : ANOTHER PERSON THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE. i loved ur angel design the first time i saw them and it’s genuinely infected and rotted my brain like THATS how i see angel too now omg. a very creative mind that makes me want to nibble on it

@artbykays : another person who i thought followed me back by mistake. *THE* best listener designs omg. THE ANGEL DESIGN EVER. AAAAAAAAAAAA. i genuinely love ur redacted art sm i had heart palpitations the day u followed me back

@basiliskbrews : another one of my first moots!!! i love citrus with a burning passion. i witnessed u rebrand ur blog and i still absolutely adore all and any content you put out. your vega and warden design has me frothing and convulsing on the ground like a fish abandoned on a deck.

@mothmayhem : I MISS YOU💕💕💕 another moot that has me giggling and kicking my feet. constantly has me twirling my hair and laughing ehehehe. i still can’t get over how you CALLED the david and asher proposals like dawg. how

@beedoes-stuff : GIGGLE ALERT. aka another moot that makes me laugh my ass off. not only do u post absolute bangers you have a tendency to reblog them too and i always have to put my phone down for a few mins

@themonotonysyndrome : it took me three tries to spell ur user right. we got another castin lover in this house 🤝🤝 i want to bite you on the head and then maul you. (all said with love and extreme amounts of affection) I LOVE HOW U TALK ABOUT BRIGHT AAAAA. i want to take a gigantic chunk out of ur writing i love it sm it has me rolling around and flailing

@falkea : MISS YOU💕💕. THE ANGEL DESIGN THAT EXECUTED ME ON THE SPOT. i hit the floor when u followed me back like my mouth was AGAPE. your quinn and darlin art genuinely changed my brain chemistry i will never be the same. a very big art inspiration for me. i shake with anticipation whenever i wait for ur next posts.

@vaselinepot : sometimes all you need is a silly lil moot who says the funniest shit unprompted. sometimes i have to put my phone down and breathe. i miss u vaseline come home

@darlin-collins : ANOTHER MOOT THAT MAKES ME LAUGH. YALL ARE FUNNY AS FUCK. however whenever you talk about the imperium i have to mentally prepare myself to be mentally and physically crushed.

@jollyfang : I LOVE THE REDACTED ART SM AAAAAA. another person who’s follow sent me into cardiac arrest. THE GAVIN DESIGN THAT HAD ME SWEATING. i love how you draw portraits it has me falling in love with ur art all over again when i see that u post.

@thevqid : i think we need to sit down and have a talk. idk about what. i just know that one of us isn’t leaving that room alive. said with all the love i can possibly muster. i love u tho💕💕

@beemybella : genuinely one of the sweetest people i’ve ever interacted with. i love being on ur tag list smth whenever you post it tosses me out of artblock and FILLS me with inspiration 💕💕

@konnorhasapen : PIRATE AU PIRATE AU AAAAAAAAA. i love your writing sm i need to be beaten back with a stick. i’m going to fist fight with you in a parking lot one of these days. i’m so glad you made it back into ur account. i love u sm from afar i feel like a maiden waiting for her husband to return home from the war.

@bratty-telepath : so shape. so shape. i love how stylized your work is. make an art book. please. graphic design IS your passion like pls spare some good character designs and interesting layouts for the rest of us. another moot who id be down the fist fight. this is a fight that i know id get my ass kicked during tho. like my body bent at angles no one is capable of. said with love ofc

@lovesstateofmatter : i always forget we’re moots until you interact with my shit and i bounce around for 5 minutes straight. YOUR BLAKE AND ELLIOT ART. I STILL THINK ABOUT IT. that’s fr how i imagine them now 😭😭

@friendly-waffles : TANKTANKTANKTANKTANK I LOBE UR TANK DESIGJ SM AAAAAAA. AND ANGEL AAAAA. i want to bite your art and SHAKE like a rabid animal. i think about ur sam and darlin art daily. i hit the floor when we became moots

@peraltuki : THE WWDITS X REDACTED VIDS 😭😭 we joined the redacted tumblr at like the same time so i feel a bonded connection to u. ily. you have the best fucking posts they have me sobbing on the floor (cause i giggle too hard)

@doodleanddie : your redacted doodles killed me, sent me to heaven, then dragged me back down to hell and then reincarnated me as a fly. i love ur art and all ur doodles have so much character it’s WILD. (i miss u💕)

@epsi-l0n - your thoughts are so incredibly big brained i want to pick apart ur brain and take a few bites while i’m at it. i think if we fought it’d be the battle of the ages. simply because i think we both *CANT* fight so it’d just be entertaining to every witness

@dollvre : VINCENT STAN HIIIIII. finding another vincent lover and taylor swift enjoyer in this fandom had my brain exploding. tell me what zsakuva videos i should watch. i’m too indecisive to choose what series i want to get into. i think we need to hold hands and exchange rings 👍

@mrsmiagreer : Niyah i would genuinely kill for you. tell me a name. or names. plural. i would quite literally do anything for you. say the word. BUT I LOVE UR WRITING SM PLS MAKE A TAGLIST PLS

@oceanicwhitetipshark : whenever i feel myself drifting from redacted. i get a notif that you’ve posted and i’m immediately pulled back in by all ur writings and your thoughts. ur genuinely so talented and so incredibly sweet di i’m very glad we’re moots

@kelseadelle : i’ve never loved women more in my entire life. the way u draw has me wanting to sacrifice myself to the nearest woman for no reason other than that they’re a woman. your evie and ranger art. id give anything to be a werewolf.

@romeo-the-homeo : there can only be one trans jackass in the redacted fandom there isn’t enough room for the both of us. we should totally combine our physical forms and ascend to a higher form of being. and then get a wendy’s frosty or smth.

@plutobutartsy : stella. LIGHT OF MY LIFE💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I LOVE UR DESIGNS SM YOUR ART IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HOW YOU SEE THE LISTENERS AAAAA. YOUR FAITHFUL DESIGN HAS SHOT ME THROUGH THE HEART ILY AAAAAAA

@clover-46 : whenever smth messy happens i always appear in ur dms 😭😭 i love obsessing over hush with you and giggling in our dms💕💕. YOUR DESIGNS SLAP SO HARD. i hope you know that i think of your milo design on the daily. he’s my little girlfriend and i’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life

@celestecreateschaos : trying to type out ur user gave me an aneurysm. I ALSO MISS GEORDI SM WHERE IS HE. you’re genuinely so funny you constantly have me giggling. i wanna tape an x-ray of ur brain to my wall.

@venuslove-28-replies : HIIIIOIOIIIIOOOOEDIIWIWISIDOW. one of these days i’m going to shake you so hard you come apart like a mr potato head. your art has me wanting to bite you and not let go. all your designs have me AAAAKAOSAIKALA

@peacefullibrarian : i will never get over that one piece of writing u did about lasko and his listener. the “like the fan” has me slamming myself into the ground imagining them interacting. make a tag list. make a tagLIST RN AND ADD ME

@morgansplace : hi king i’m going to evict you from this plane of existence. (translation: i love you and i love how incredibly creative you are. i want to eat ur nails. i think we could solve all the worlds problems if we held hands and spun in a circle until we fell over from dizziness. i think it’d be nice)

@heshheshfish : omw to send u a cease a desist. your walls are very comfortable. i have officially devoured all tress-passers who have crossed my unwelcome path. i only accept offerings in the form of whole blocks of cheddar cheese. (translation: hi hehe)

@teaseat : i don’t think i can genuinely put into words how much i love u tea. you have me CACKLING. and other days you have me needing to put down my phone to take a minute. anyways. IN SO GLAD IM IN UR TAGLIST HEHEHE I LOVE UR WRITING SM AAAAAAA

@deviantaj : you make me want to listen to marina and the diamonds and then kill someone. aj ily. you make me giggle. i think if we were ever put into the same room we’d probably cause a cataclysmic event that no one could ever recover from.

@swanconcerto : HOLLYYYYYYYYYYUEJFJE. ily holly my favorite person to ever exist you have me twirling my hair and giggling i’d give anything to exist in ur presence. holly i am in ur basement.

@messenger-of-stupidity : i love your writing so much it has completely rewired my brain i think we should tussle outside and then hold pinky’s or smth. THE VEGA LOVE>>>>> i wait with baited breath for your vega fic

@shawslut : i love ur blog layout sm how do you do it. we both go by ray/rae so i think maybe we should do a lil dance to decide which ones superior. your geordi fic had me wanting to test the sharpness of my new kitchen knives. i will eat you one of these days.

@4letteraroace : i want to bite your hands so bad bro. i still think about ur darlin dance fic. now i know nothing about dance but i could fucking picture what was going on and it HURT. i think your keyboard deserves to be taken away. it should also be taken away because of how u interact with lemon on a daily basis 😭😭

@milosirlgf : hi jaydyn i think one of these days you’ll genuinely rule the world so pls remember that i am nothing but ur undying servant hi. i’m going to empty my life savings in ur name.

@terrazaurio : YOUR DAVID AND ANGEL DESIGN AAAAAAAAA RAHHHHHHHH. i want to bite someone’s head off. i get horrific cute aggression whenever i see your work. i think if we ever existed in the same section of the universe the space time continuum would collapse

@goodboyaudios : i think we should fist fight.

@tunasfishbowl : i think we should paint each others nails and then watch horror movies. tuna ur designs have me gasping for air on a daily basis i lost my mind when we became moots.

@yoteako : THE LASKO DESIGN EVER. INCREDIBLE WOLF BOY DESIGNS. i lobe how u draw them as grown men. idk if that makes any sense but it does to me. also enlightened me to the idea that is vega and brachium omg the most brain idea ever. when we became moots i breakdanced on the hardwood floor

@echovale052 : HI ECHOOO i’m taking a few chomps out of all of ur works like your art style is so pleasant i wanna EAT IT. i think that if we fought we’d probably end up destroying a few small towns.

@kittyshaw : HI REIIIIIII 💕💕💕💕 genuinely one of my fav people. you have the best takes and omg i love ur headcanons sm. i am going to eat ur brain one of these days. any second you aren’t moving i’m only getting closer

@lovelylonerliterature : i’ve read your cutie/geordi fix it fic an ungodly amount of times. (also a shadows appeal……) i love ur writing and interpretations of the redacted characters so much. your ability to capture angst has me wanting to throw myself into the abyss.

@elisacaleisa : another user i struggled to spell 💔���. THE BEST MORGAN DESIYJ IVE EVER SEEN THATS MY MAN THATS MY WIFE I LOST MY SHIT M.LWFIIWKSJWIWO. i’m going to bite and shake your gavin design. i think our brains should combine at some point for fun

@sweetlemongrove : Lemon u are the light of my life. please make a taglist and add me to it. i love you. THE LOMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. also ur blog layout is so pretty what.

I LOVE YOU ALL MOOTS‼️‼️‼️

(Ok but in all seriousness. This is my first time ever really fully interacting with a fandom and not just lurk. To be able to interact with an incredibly creative and kind fandom has been a pleasure :)))) thank you all for all the work you do!!!!)

[ghostboycharm]

City of Bones: A Summary

I made this shitty stage play of City of Bones (book one of The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare) for giggles. It's full of expository statements and idiocy but I think it's funny. And it's still better than the books.

Spoilers for City of Bones. Obviously.

EXT. PANDEMONIUM CLUB

CLARY: 

Come on, Simon, let’s use our fake IDs to get into a club called Pandemonium. This couldn’t possibly go wrong— Woah! Who is that hot blond guy?

SIMON: 

What hot blond guy?

CLARY: 

Are you gaslighting me?

SIMON: 

About what?

THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER SUSPICIOUSLY.

JACE: 

You can see me?

CLARY: 

Duh. Quirky Girl Sarcasm Intensifies. HAIR FLIP

JACE: 

Subtly Worried Brooding Silence

SIMON: 

Let’s go, Clary. I don’t like you hallucinating hot guys. He’s probably not even a natural blond.

INT. PANDEMONIUM CLUB

CLARY AND SIMON ARE DANCING.

CLARY:

Dance Dance Dance.

CLARY POINTS DOWNSTAGE RIGHT AND STOPS DANCING.

CLARY: 

The hot blond guy and another guy are following that blue-haired kid and the girl into the storeroom. And he has a knife! I should follow them. Go get help, Simon.

SIMON: 

I don’t know what’s happening but I’m so whipped that I’ll do whatever.

CLARY MARCHES DOWNSTAGE RIGHT AS SIMON EXITS DOWNSTAGE LEFT.

CLARY: 

Hey, you! Don’t stab people!

JACE: 

You idiot! You stopped me from killing a demon!

ISABELLE: 

Don’t worry, she didn’t stop me and Alec.

DEMON:

Demon Dying Noises.

SIMON ENTERS DOWNSTAGE LEFT WITH SECURITY.

SIMON: 

Clary, I got security. Why are you standing in an empty room?

CLARY: 

To isolate me in the narrative.

SIMON: 

Okayyyyyy…

INT. FRAY HOUSEHOLD

JOCELYN: 

I have to tell her, Luke. It’s only a matter of time before— 

CLARY ENTERS UPSTAGE LEFT.

JOCELYN:

Oh hi honey!

CLARY: 

Hi Mom, what’s going on?

JOCELYN: 

Honey, we’re moving to the country to live with Luke, who I am not in love with.

CLARY: 

Nooo, Mom! We can’t move! Then everything won’t be about me and my struggles!

SIMON: 

Let’s go do poetry. I’m in a band.

EXT. ROAD

SIMON AND CLARY ARE WALKING TO JAVA JONES.

SIMON: 

Hey Clary, your Mom has weird scars.

CLARY: 

No she doesn’t.

SIMON: 

Yeah she does, I’ve seen her in a bathing suit. Your mom’s hella fine.

CLARY: 

What.

INT. JAVA JONES

CLARY AND SIMON ARE SITTING AND LISTENING TO ERIC READING POETRY.

CLARY: 

Simon, you’re not gay, are you?

SIMON: 

What?

ERIC, OFFSTAGE: 

TWIRLS ACROSS THE STAGE Poetry Poetry Poetry.

JACE: 

Hello there. 

CLARY: 

OMG, hot blond murderer. You’re stalking me. That’s not suspicious.

JACE: 

I’m a Shadowhunter, which means I kill demons. You can see me, which means you have the Sight and need to come with me.

CLARY: 

I’d love to but— STANDS AND DASHES AWAY WHILE PHONE RINGING 

CLARY:

TO AUDIENCE Hold that thought. What? Mom? Don’t come home? Tell Luke that “he” found you? Who’s “he”? Mom?

SIMON: 

JOINING HER Clary, we should go find Luke and not go home.

CLARY: 

Let’s go home.

SIMON: 

Okay.

JACE: 

STILL SITTING Okay bye. Just shattered your world view and told you about a whole secret universe, but go off I guess.

EXT. FRAY HOUSEHOLD

CLARY: 

My home is shattered and my mom is gone!

DEMON:

Demon Noises.

CLARY: 

AHHHHH!!! Stab Stab Stab! SLOWLY FALLING BACKWARDS ONTO GROUND

JACE: 

LURKING WITH ARMS CROSSED Wow. Good work killing a demon.

CLARY: 

ON GROUND You followed me again? I guess I’ll trust you over my best friend of ten years.

JACE: 

KNEELING Great. But you’re dying. I will heal you with my magic wand that will kill you if you aren’t a Shadowhunter.

CLARY: 

Wait but I’m not a Shadowhunter—

JACE: 

PRESSING STELE TO NECK Huh it worked. Guess you’re a Shadowhunter.

CLARY: 

That was a lousy experiment.

INT. THE INSTITUTE

CLARY:

We Go To The Institute, Where Like Five People, Three Of Which Are Teenagers, Purge The Biggest City In America Of Demons All By Themselves. We Do Nothing, Then Leave The Institute.

EXT. FRAY HOUSEHOLD

CLARY: 

Let’s go back to my messed up house and find things. Oh my gosh it’s my neighbour Dorothea, who didn’t get kidnapped because the TV show is really weird and full of unnecessary plotlines. 

INT. DOROTHEA’S HOUSE

CLARY:

Dorothea, are you a witch? ‘Cause you are serving witch. Alright, good talk, let’s jump through this mysterious portal that you told us not to jump through.

INT. PORTAL

PORTAL:

Portal Noises.

EXT. LUKE’S HOUSE

CLARY: 

We’re at Luke’s house. Huh. Let’s be super sneaky and HOLY CRAP WE’RE BEING ATTACKED.

SIMON: 

Hi!

JACE: 

Dude why were you in the bushes that’s super weird.

SIMON: 

Says the stalker.

INT. LUKE’S HOUSE

CLARY: 

We’re in. Wait, hide! Somebody's coming. 

JACE: 

The men who killed my father…

CLARY: 

They’re looking for something called the Mortal Cup that my mom stole from Valentine, but Luke says he doesn’t know— wait WHAT?

JACE: 

No further context required… I need to maintain an aura of alluring and brooding mystery. 

SIMON: 

You’re a traumatized sixteen-year-old. Also, why do we all have dead dads?

JACE: 

I’m Batman.

INT. THE INSTITUTE - LIBRARY

HODGE: 

I am Hodge, leader of the Institute. Your mother was a magical Nazi, and your father is dead.

JACE: 

Omg twinning.

CLARY: 

I knew that.

HODGE: 

No, your REAL father. Your mom made up the dead dad. Your real dad was THE magical Nazi, Valentine. Actually all the adults here were once magical Nazis. But we got better. PUTS BANDAID ON FOREHEAD

CLARY: 

Are you sure Valentine’s dead? He seems sort of alive.

HODGE: 

He is definitely totally dead.

CLARY: 

I don’t remember anything about anything. Let’s go to some scary monks and have them break my brain.

SIMON: 

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

JACE: 

Nah it sounds legit.

INT. THE SILENT CITY

SILENT BROTHER: 

ACTOR ONSTAGE BUT VOICE DOESN’T COME FROM MOUTH There is a block in your mind that we cannot remove. But the mysterious person who put it there signed it “Magnus Bane xoxo” so go find him.

ISABELLE: 

Let’s go to a party.

INT. MAGNUS’ PARTY

CLARY: 

Hello, Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn. Please remove the block from my mind.

MAGNUS: 

I can’t, but it will fade naturally. Don’t worry. Also your Jewish friend just turned into a rat. No weird subtext there.

CLARY: 

Holy crap vampires just took Simon the rat.

JACE: 

Let’s rescue him. I hope there are no lasting side effects from this traumatizing voyage.

THEY FIGHT THEIR WAY ACROSS THE STAGE.

INT. THE INSTITUTE

SIMON: 

Wow, I think there were some lasting side effects from that traumatizing voyage. 

CLARY: 

That can wait until book two. Right now it’s my birthday.

JACE: 

Let’s have a picnic in the middle of the night.

CLARY: 

Okay.

JACE: 

Let’s kiss.

CLARY: 

I’m in love with you forever.

SIMON: 

I’m still here, you know.

JACE: 

I’m gonna be really mean to everyone now.

INT. THE INSTITUTE - CLARY’S ROOM

SIMON: 

I hate Jace.

CLARY: 

Why?

SIMON: 

I’m jealous.

CLARY: 

Why? You have Isabelle.

SIMON: 

I don’t want Isabelle.

CLARY: 

Then why do you flirt with her?

SIMON: 

To make you jealous.

CLARY: 

Why would you want to do that?

SIMON: 

Are you genuinely, actually stupid?

CLARY: 

I might be. I’m going to go draw Jace as an angel some more. That’s not foreshadowing anything.

INT. THE INSTITUTE - JACE’S ROOM

CLARY: 

JACE WAKE UP JACE WAKE UP!

JACE: 

What is wrong with you?

CLARY: 

I just made a drawing come out of paper and I think my mom hid the Mortal Cup in Dorothea the witch’s tarot cards.

JACE: 

Cool.

INT. DOROTHEA’S HOUSE

CLARY: 

Yay we got the Mortal Cup and HOLY CRAP DOROTHEA IS A DEMON.

JACE: 

I like tea. Also I don’t like Simon and I’m going to make fun of him.

CLARY: 

You know, most psychologists agree that hostility is really just sublimated sexual attraction.

JACE: 

I’m not gay. Everyone hates me.

ALEC: 

I am gay. I don’t hate you. But I don’t really love you, I just tell myself I do because you’re a safe option because you are unavailable. Also I’m very wounded and slightly delusional right now.

SIMON: 

I just shot a demon to death with arrows as a powerless human but everybody’s still going to underestimate me for the next four books.

INT. THE INSTITUTE - THE LIBRARY

HODGE: 

Thank you for giving me the Mortal Cup. I am still a magical Nazi and I will now give it to our leader, who is not dead.

CLARY: 

Woah, who could have anticipated that plot twist? 

EXT. ALLEYWAY

CLARY:

I’m going to chase Hodge down this alleyway and goodness gracious me who could have predicted that a grown man could overpower me, a defenseless fifteen-year-old girl?

LUKE: 

I will save you with my werewolf powers, Clary.

CLARY: 

Luke! You’re a werewolf!

LUKE: 

Go find your mom who I’m in love with while my pack fends off Valentine’s army.

CLARY: 

Okay.

INT. VALENTINE’S BASE - ROOSEVELT ISLAND

VALENTINE: 

Hello, my son.

JACE: 

Dad? You’re not dead?

CLARY: 

Jace, that’s MY evil Nazi dad.

JACE: 

Omg we really are twinning.

VALENTINE: 

Come home with me, son. I love you.

JACE: 

No, you abused me really bad and made me think you were dead. But I’m gonna be indecisive about it for five more books anyway.

VALENTINE: 

Okay. Magic portal activate! 

PORTAL:

Portal Noises

INT. THE INSTITUTE

CLARY: 

Wow great adventure.

JACE: 

Valentine literally has the Mortal Cup and we are siblings. 

CLARY: 

Details. Let’s debate the morality of us dating for the next two books and be inconsistent about who’s for it and who’s against it.

JACE: 

Sounds like a plan.

SIMON: 

Am I the only one who thinks incest is bad?

*WHAT A GREAT FIRST BOOK. YOU COULD MAKE A TV SHOW AND MOVIE OUT OF IT, PROBABLY*

[puckspoetry]

Hi! I wanted to tell you how much you make me happy! When I see that you've liked one of my posts I smile, and my day is instantly better! I LOVE your posts, you're hilarious and make wonderful observations of Dead Poets Society!

^ me rn

seriously though thank you so much 😭 I forget that people actually see what I post ajdisod! I’m so glad there’s people who think I’m funny hehe. thank you again omg that’s so nice of you I’m kicking my feet and twirling my hair <3

[cricketnationrise]

7:15am, ransom and bitty, haus kitchen, “honeybee” by anju

OMG new song obsession for real. its so sweet and lovely and like perfect sunday morning vibes - thank you for the introduction! i hope you like your ficlet!!! 💜🦗

want your own ficlet? followers can submit prompts using these guidelines through Jan 31 2024 (only 4 days left oh gosh!) all ficlets submitted by the deadline will get written!

🏒🏒🏒🏒

7:15am, haus kitchen

No shade to Holster and an exquisitely co-planned kegster, but there’s nothing more perfect than early Tuesday mornings in the kitchen of the Haus. There’s no practice until the afternoon, the rest of the Haus either asleep or have already left to begin their day like the robot they claim not to be. It’s just Ransom, alone in the kitchen, watching the street wake up with the sun over his cup of coffee. It’s a nice moment of stillness before the eight AM class that kicks off his busiest day. Just him and the other poor fools with early classes.

Ransom does a double take when he sees Bitty of all people running back to the Haus, waving goodbye to Jack as he carries on for another loop of campus. He would have bet his share of Bitty’s pies for the rest of the year that Bitty would rather die than get up this side of eight on a day when he doesn’t have class until ten. 

Bitty practically dances through the front door and into the kitchen, the very picture of cloud nine, only catching sight of Ransom staring at him in shock when he twirls around toward the fridge for creamer.

“Oh! Mornin’, Rans. Didn’t know you’d be up this early!”

“I could say the same to you, Bits.”

Bitty’s cheeks go pink at that, his eyes flicking to the window. “Well, Jack offered to start checking practice again, after that last game, and the way practice has been going…” He trails off for a moment, lost in memories and Ransom doesn’t push, doesn’t want to remind Bitty even more of the hit from last season. Doesn’t want to think about how still Bitty was, just lying there on the ice, helmet thrown feet away from him.

“Anyhow,” Bitty says with determined cheer. “The only open slot was real early before the figure skaters so Jack—”

“He didn’t,” Ransom chimes in with mock horror.

“He did. Five o’clock in the morning. Well, actually quarter t’five so that we had time to walk over. Before the sun was even thinkin’ ‘bout peekin’ over the horizon.” He’s shaking his head ruefully but his eyes go soft, glancing outside once again, and Ransom feels a funny swoop in his chest. “It was real pretty in Faber though, seein’ all those pretty colors through the windows.”

Ransom can picture it in his mind’s eye, Bitty’s blonde hair etched in early morning rays like a halo, lit from all sides where the sun reflects off the ice like some sort of deity.

“I’ll bet,” Ransom manages to say before taking a hasty swig of his coffee.

“What are you doin’ up this early anyways?” Bitty asks, rummaging in the fridge.

“Got class at eight.”

“It ain’t even seven yet!”

That’s stretching it a bit, he can see the microwave clock blinking 6:59 over Bitty’s shoulder, but Ransom just shrugs. “I’ve got a packed day, five classes, plus practice after. So I started getting up earlier to have a moment to center myself before the madness.”

“Oh! D’you want me to leave? This can all wait.”

“No!” Ransom clears his throat before dropping his voice back to a reasonable volume. “I mean no, you’re fine to stay. I’d like you to, if you want.”

Bitty watches his face for a long moment before the furrow in his brow clears and he takes Ransom at his words with a wide smile. “Well then, sugar, you’ll have to taste test this french toast recipe I found the other day while studying for that food history class Jack and I are taking.”

“However will I survive?” Ransom deadpans, pleased when Bitty dissolves into giggles.

“I’m sure you’ll muddle through somehow,” he says solemnly, teasing Ransom right back.

Ransom sits back and watches Bitty flit around the kitchen cooking up a storm, lets his torrent words wash over him and fade to a pleasant buzz, and soaks up the honey-sweetness of Bitty’s presence, ignoring the clock for now. 

He’s got plenty of time.

[icetobes]

911 through a s7 e4

i was very not prepared for this

- SHE GLUED HERSELF 😭😭

- not maddie sending the 118 she’s so funny

- chim ?! oh maddie sent him to get the details for her hmm love it

- the girls flirting with eddie and buck lmao

- “sorry ladies taken and the moment, but he’s not” EDDIE YOU MENACE

- eddies fave after “i don’t date people i meet on calls” IM CRYING LMAO

- chims double take at joey 😭

- what is happening 😭

- chin running off to facetime maddie LMAO

- maddie and josh are my icons i LOVE them

- “come visit me in prison” “do i have to” “i would not”

- BUCK AND TOMMMYYY its that scene….

- “saving someone’s life and then dating them never turns out the way to expect it to” yeah buck knows allllll about that

- not the rain check being going out with eddie

- ew the straight high five

- EVAN ????? don’t call him evan that’s only for eddie and maddie and pre 118 flashbacks

- he’s so awkward i canttttt

- JEALOUSLY JEALOUSYY

- not the heli to vegas 😭

- harry’s baccckk 😭🫶🏻 he surprised athena awwww

- is bobby suspicious ??? what was that look

- ooo restaurant rescue

- RAVVIIIII HES BACCKCKK MY BOY

- “who’s tommy” LMAOOO

- oh that shot is them looking in the sink

- THEIR LOOKS “i guess somebody’s going into the sewer” 🧍🧍 “im going into the sewer” HELLLPP

- bucks jealousssss who would’ve thought

- “i think its great, you can’t have enough friends”

- “when you meet someone you just click” but they didn’t when they first met because buck was being jealous then too oh my god he’s gonna take it to heart isn’t he holy shit

- “i do i really do” you’ve liked him from day ONE

- his face he is so realising he likes him ??? like he has to be ???

- “when do you think you’ll see him again” like he’s dating tommy ??

- KARAOKE TRIVIA THING omg

- WATCH CHRISTOPHER OH

- not him ranting to maddie i cannot

- buck being more jealous because chris likes tommy too …

- “in a very short time” you also did that

- eddie ASKED YOU and you said no so he asked tommy and now you’re jealous… buck come on 😭

- “is it circled with a heart around it” MADDIE MY QUEEN BUDDIE SHIPPER FROM THE BEGINNING

- THE POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR HARRY ?? oh ???

- the mess- i cannot

- THE WATER HELLP ICON

- “you’re also my mom” oh- ouch

- i’m guessing eddies on the phone to tommy

- and buck… is ?? making noises to get his attention ?? to watch him workout ?? sir… what are you doing

- THE LOOK HE IS FULLY TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION LMAO

- THE BALL LMAO not the ball

- “uh huh” HE IGNORED HIM

- HES SAD

- chim to the rescue 🫶🏻

- oh here we go basket ball time…

- I DONT LIKE STRAIGHT EDDIE PUT HIM AWAY THE CHEST BUMP 😭😭😭😭

- also “my boy” ?!

- howie and evan 😭 stop

- BASKETBALL BEARD chim my love, i love you

- THE SPINNNN

- eddie is taunting himmm

- is buck even trying

- the high-fives right in front of him

- OH THE PUSH

- YOU BUCKED THAT UP stop the poor man just wants eddie

- harry :(((

- athena my beloved :(( she’s so aaaaa

- “i haven’t talked to him” 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍

- the scene the scene the scene

- PISSED SEEING HIM AND TOMMY BE GOOD FRIENDS BUCK YOU ARE ON THE FLOOR FOR THIS MAN GET UPPP

- “get his attention” im 😭😭

- “i know how you feel” let this go where i want it to go

- it didn’t but whatever

- “im not a 14 year old girl” tell that to your googly eyes for eddie huh if you could you’d have posters of him around your room girlie

- stop acting like one REAL AND TRUE

- “and i really great mom” ILL CRY 🫶🏻😭

- TOMMY AT BUCK DOOR

- can we talk…

- “i’ve been causing bad blood” no bucks just jealous because he’s in love and doesn’t know it yet

- “no bad blood just bad behaviour” LMAO

- “that kid cannot shut up about you” and buck twirls his hair like he’s not in eddies will he’s so happy about it lmao

- “it wasn’t about you” “that’s usually my problem” he’s so me help

- i can get pretty jealous WE KNOW OMG

- tommy jealous of the 118 :(((

- fake mouth static 😭

- why do they look like they’re gonna kiss

- i wanted to get to know you im-

- the homoerotic vibes of this scene i cannot

- trying to get YOIR ATTENTION WHAT IS HAPPENING

- yeah i guess so ?? WHAT IS HAPPEING

- OH THEY DID KISS

- OH GUCKING THEYDKWOZBSSK

- HOLY SHIT

- IM WINNING

- IM SHAKING

- “like that” IT WORKSS ?? fuck

- “so that was okay” im melting

- that was better that fake mouth static

- 8 saturday date 🫶🏻

- for gods sake please call eddie YES REAL

anyway i’m so happy that buck is having his (to quote heartstopper) full on gay crisis, finally the man’s getting a man !!

[imaginmatrix]

Me: I’m gonna do some chores and get things done tonight!

My adhd, giggling and twirling its hair and batting its eyelashes: omg, it’s like, soooooooooo funny and cute that you think that! :)

[willowser]

da anon back at it to harass u gently more abt the game! who did u romance in origins? i’m also an origins guy myself, and i can definitely agree that the other games just didn’t … hit the same. they’re good, don’t get me wrong! but origins truly felt like lightning in a bottle and it’s never had anything compare to me haha. 2 is good, but there’s something that is so disconnected about it! the companions are great in 2, but i think because the game was so rushed in dev that it just … didn’t get what it TRULY deserved as a game. and inquisition is far too open world for me, i won’t lie…..

on that same thought, have you played bg3? or are you interested in it?

omg in origins, it was alistair all day every single day babey !!! he's so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 lemme tell you something. that's the first time i experienced true love. kicking my feet twirling my hair he's so FUNNY LOL i remember having a playthrough where i tried to romance leliana, but i. just couldn't ignore him LOL i love him too much 🥺🥺

i have not played bg3 !!! it is taking the world by storm it seems and it does interest me but.........turn based combat my greatly beloathed.......the only turn based games i can tolerate are pokemon and paper mario THAT'S IT !!! i just 😔 don't like waiting my turn 😔😔😔 i've played dnd in real time before, but that felt different, bc i was playing with pals !!! and i know that's just the way the game works but.......idk if i can do it 😩😩😩 i am definitely interested tho !!!!

[pbpsbff]

hey!! i just read your potato parkner fic on ao3 and i love it so much!!

the banter is bantering and the funny is funnying,and all in all its just really amazing!!

thank you for your noble contribution to the betterment of our society *tips my wizard hat like one would a cowboy hat*

hiiii omg giggling and kicking my feet twirling my hair etc etc

i’m glad you like it!!! i think it’s the happiest series on my account (possibly the only happy series) and sometimes i just gotta leave the angst and be silly for a few thousand words. anyway i’ve literally been working on an update for the past couple days are you in my head??? be honest

[dalgikiss]

i am unsure of how to mourn for you // k. akaashi

i’ll be right where you left me, come back soon please?

genre: angst

a/n: omg guys this is so haha funny bc actually !! i wrote this a rerally long time ago as well and it’s soooo hahaha funny bc this guy i was dating had actually broken up w me and somehow, in a haha funny not really way, the universe had turned my world upside down and i had uttered the same exact words i had written!!!! I didnt even realize it until i read it again recently but lmaoooo... haha funny.......

The waitress greets you, the same soft smile you’ve grown accustomed to seeing on her face stretching her lips. 

“Miss, will you be seated where you always sit?”

You smooth out the white dress on your thighs -it looks really nice on you babe- and nod. “Yes, please”

The waitress hands you a menu as you’re shown to your usual table, the leather bound book laid out in front of you on the table. You think it’s funny they still give you one- you’ve been here so many times, you think you know all the servers working. 

Your fingertips drag along the cover of the menu, tracing along the logo. There’s no reason to open it, you already know what you’ll get. Your answer has never changed from the first time he asked you-

“What are you getting?” Akaashi looked up from the menu, long fingers reaching over the table to rest across your hands. You admired the way his finger fit almost perfectly in between the spaces of your own. 

You grinned, before returning your gaze back to the selection written out on the menu. Akaashi waited patiently, fingers tapping against yours to a rhythm only you could hear. 

“I think I’ll get the-“

“Miss?” 

You blink, startled as the waiter’s face came within view. She smiles, strands of hair falling out of a neat bun. Her black pen stands on the small notepad she’s holding, while you stare up at her, dazed. 

“The usual for you, is that correct?”

You take a sip from your water glass and let the condensation wet the tips of your fingers. 

“Yes, thank you”

x.

The water swirls around in your glass while you gazed at the customers around you. You smile when someone laughs, and twist your lips with distaste when someone leaves a mess on their table for servers to clean up. The waiters dance around each other, giving each other fleeting grins when they can. 

You twirl your fork around the pasta, ignoring the pitying stares the waiters cast at you when they can. You can always tell who the new ones are, how they pause at your table half a second longer than the ones used to your presence. 

From the corner of your eyes, you can see two waiters in the corners converse, already knowing how their conversation is going. 

(Don’t you know? She’s been coming here for almost a year now, every week at the same time

What? Why?

I heard her boyfriend broke up with her here and she can’t get over it

Breakups happen everyday, she doesn’t have to lose it)

I know, you want to yell at them every time they sneak a peek at you, I’m sick of being hung up over him still

x.

Akaashi sighed, but the smile on his face never left even as you pushed your half finished plate of pasta towards him. 

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, “You think you can finish that for me though babe?”

“And if I say no?” Akaashi asked, voice low despite the rather noisy ambiance but it didn’t matter anyways, you already knew what he was going to say. You rested your cheek on the palm of your hand as he took a bite from your pasta, speaking with his mouth full, “what will you do then?” 

You laughed, stars dancing in your eyes and Akaashi reached over to stroke a finger over the curve of your cheek. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about” 

He twirled another bite of pasta around his fork, bringing it up to his mouth. 

I love you, you want to say but you keep your lips pressed together instead. Akaashi glances up at you and smiles through a mouthful of pasta. You think he already knows what you want to say, but then again, he always does. 

x.

The waiter brings by a chocolate cake, piled high with whipped cream. You stare at her in confusion and she smiles in response. 

“Don’t worry about it,” She answers your unspoken question, setting down a clean fork and taking away your pasta plate that was left unfinished, “It’s on the house tonight”

“Oh,” You pause, staring at the decadent slice. You can almost taste the deep chocolate flavor already. “Thank you,”

The waiter smiles, bright like the moon that hangs in the sky and you wish it didn’t remind you so much of Akaashi. “Do you want this in a to-go box again?”

You pick up the fork and scoop a piece of chocolate into your mouth. The rich flavor coats your tongue, sweet to cushion the fall as you think about how much she reminds you of Akaashi and you miss him, missyoumissyousomuchcomebackplease

“Yes please,” You push another forkful of cake into your mouth and hope she can’t see the way your throat tightens. 

x.

It felt like the entire restaurant was listening in to your conversation that night.

“I um-” you blinked, “what?”

“I said,” Akaashi lowered his gaze, “We need to break up”

The ringing in your ear grew louder, the pounding in your head grew stronger, am i breathing? I don’t feel like I’m breathing

“Oh,” You said breathlessly, wincing at your lack of words. Akaashi kept his face trained on the frozen position of your hands, still held in midair before he dropped the news. 

“It’s just, I thought our spark was dying out” Akaashi fumbled over his words, “I’ve been really busy with the whole editorial job and you’ve been so worked up about your dissertation that I-”

You held up a hand, finally feeling the strain on your muscles from holding them in the air for so long. “Stop, I’ve heard enough”

You placed the napkin back onto the table, slowly standing up. There’s a barrage of words crowding your head, each one less coherent than the last, but you hold your tongue. 

Ihatehimihateyouifuckinghateyou

Don’tbreakupwithmestayhereplease

Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

“I’ll return your things when I can. Just leave my stuff outside my door.” You praised yourself for not crying immediately, “Good night and thank you for the meal”

x.

Perhaps it’s rather cruel of the universe to make you remember such a thing in the middle of a public area. 

You sniff miserably, shoving another forkful of cake into your mouth. Seeing another couple at this restaurant shouldn’t turn you into a puddle of tears, and yet here you are- crying over a piece of chocolate cake. 

You suppose it’s better than crying in front of your ex though. You let yourself smile a little in satisfaction to hide the growing ache in your stomach. Like hell were you going to let Akaashi see your tears. 

(Oh, but… the pain’s still here, you know)

(Shut up, you tell your heart, just shut the fuck up)

Someone laughs in the background. You close your eyes and will the tears away so you can enjoy your cake in peace. When you open your eyes again, you freeze. 

“A-akaashi?”

He sits in front of you - i’m actually fucking hallucinating - with the same stupid white shirt that he wore when he broke up with you. 

You gape, mouth open like a fish searching for water. A waiter stops in front of your table to refill your wine glass, body leaning forward and through Akaashi?

Of fucking course. You laugh out loud, ignoring the strange look the waiter gives you. Of course he wasn’t here. On top of being hung up over a breakup, you were hallucinating too. 

Could you just get a fucking-

“Hey,” Akaashi smiles like he never left you and you want to barf. He presses on anyways, voice still the same as you remembered it, “[name]”

You unconsciously hold the stem of the recently filled wine glass, and hate the way your heart still flutters at how his mouth forms the syllables in his mouth. 

“[name]”, Akaashi says your name again but you think you already know what he’s going to say. 

“You have to let me go,” His smile is sorrowful, “it’s time”

You squeeze your eyes shut and duck your head, “I can’t, I can’t, please, I-”

He shakes his head, his lips still sporting the same sorrowful smile. “You have to let me go,”

It’s time

Let me go

“I’m trying!” Your frustration bleeds into your words, “I’m trying so fucking hard but I can’t just- I can’t just forget the way you did! I loved you, I can’t believe that I still fucking love you. I thought we were doing fine” 

Needles crawl up your legs and render them numb, before winding up towards your arms and neck, throat clenching as the words you had put off saying for so long finally see the light. 

Your voice breaks, “I thought we were doing great. I thought we were going to be fine, I don’t know what to think anymore”

“You left me no choice but to stay here, you-” The wine glass you’re desperately holding onto breaks, glittering glass shards cutting into the delicate skin of your fingers. Your vision blurs, black streaks of mascara staining your cheeks as you shakily gasp for air. 

Someone’s shaking your shoulder, “Miss? Miss!” 

You shudder, staring wide eyed and confused at the waiter who was holding napkins along your wrist, where blood dripped down past your elbow. A red puddle stains the pure white tablecloth, forming a maroon stain. Where the cuts begin or end, you’re not sure but the dull ache is nothing compared to the violent turmoil in your heart. 

“You’re bleeding so much,” The waiter holds your arm tighter, “Are you hurt anywhere else? Please be careful, there’s glass everywhere” True to her word, glass shards are scattered around the table and the floor, winking as the dim light catches onto them. 

You swing your head around, finally taking in the mess around you. “I- I am so sorry,” You stammer, head spinning. Your heart constricts when you realize the chair in front of you was empty, void of Akaashi. “Please, let me pay for everything, are you alright?” 

The waiter smiles, “Don’t worry about me, I’m perfectly fine. You’re still bleeding though, I think you should go to the hospital”

You thank her for the suggestion, standing up carefully as the waiter guides you away from the glass shards sparkling on the ground. Someone else rushes over with a dustpan and a broom, and you’re finally aware of all the eyes on you, some confused, others filled with pity. 

“I should go,” You mumble awkwardly to the waiter who was still holding up the tissues onto your arm, “Please let me pay and help you clean up”

The waiter shakes her head, “You don’t have to. We know you’ve been having a hard time lately, sometimes these things just happen. Please, just go home and get those cuts looked at” You open your mouth to protest but she’s laughing, a sound that seems almost foreign in your ears. “Go, go! We’re alright here, we’re prepared for this. All of us just want you to be happy” 

You’re stunned into silence, looking at the host standing at her podium, but she only smiles and nods her head like the waiter coaxing you out the door. “At least, let me give you this” You fumble with your wallet, bills of all kinds flying out as you dump them into the tip jar, and they all laugh like your mother did when she caught you dancing around the kitchen, too immersed in the song to notice the growing audience. 

Luckily for you, they accept what you have given them and then you’re out the door with the cool night air kissing your burning cheeks and drying the salt from your tears. 

[carfuckerlynch]

on anon so i don’t reveal my location but torrin was my poetry prof last semester so it is so funny/ surreal seeing you talk about her and her follow you on instagram LOL

OMG!!! sick4sick is one of my favorite poems of all time i think she’s completely wonderful and admire her greatly. so i’m twirling my hair a little bit abt this whole situation

[campbyler]

hi!! i hope you guys know how much i love this fic (yes i know theres only one chapter out so far 😭) and how much i giggle and kick my feet when i read all of your other fics. i also giggle a lot because i think you guys are SOO funny anyways i’m saying a whole lot of nothing right now but i wanted to ask if you guys have a playlist for acswy or if there’s going to be a possible playlist if there isn’t already?? anyways sorry for bothering you all! i hope you have the best day ever because i genuinely believe that you all deserve the world and more 🫂🫂🫶🫶

hello there!! this is so sweet of you thank you so much !! we’re so glad you’ve been enjoying the fic so far (the one singular chapter that is out) (and we are also twirling our hair and giggling….. omg… someone thinks we’re funny… 😙🥰🤭) and yes absolutely ! there is a playlist that you can find here! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

there’s not too many songs on there as of right now but more will be added with each new chapter so rest assured it will be Full and Lengthy and Comprehensive by the end! we put a lot of time into narrowing the songs down for each chapter since our original fic inspo playlist is currently 10h52m long so…. just know that each song has been carefully chosen for the best possible listening experience 🥳🥳 thank you for stopping by and happy listening!