#and oh boy don't make me talk about closure

[minarinnn]

so in love with your best friend yuji hcs, may i request a continuation of that? and also maybe a writing of their first time ahhh and what you think he’d be like when he’s jealous. i know this is a lot but just choose what you feel like writing!! looking forward to your future stuff <3

hiii, tysm!! i tried to write everything, sorry if i missed smth. i lowk wanted to write more ab this too but you gave me a great excuse to do it + some ideas so, thank youuu<3

content/trigger warning: college au, characters are aged up!!, f!reader, p in v, creampie, jealousy, virgin sex, fingering (f! receiving), slighttt size kink

word count: 2.7k

“FIRST DATE”

nobara is sick and tired of hearing yuuji talk about you and not act on his feelings. especially when she knows that you actually have feelings for the pink haired male. but she promised she wouldn't tell yuuji about your feelings and she also promised yuuji that she wouldn't tell you about his

it didn't bother her much until yuuji started talking about how this guy in your physics class has been awfully chummy with you

"he even asked if she wanted to grab a bite to eat with him, can you believe that?" yuuji grumbled. he had been talking about this for at least 15 minutes now. nobara rolled her eyes for 7th time that day. "itadori, she's a beautiful girl, she's gonna have people asking her out, especially if she doesn't have a boyfriend" she pointed out, making yuuji pout and grumble under his breath

nobara sighed, leaning her cheek against her palm "you could just confess and the whole problem would be over". yuuji's eyes widened, a slight hue of pink adorning his face. "i can't do that... she's.. she'll just reject me" he sighed

nobara's patience was starting to run thin. she'd been there for yuuji through countless conversations about his feelings for you, always playing devil's advocate and trying to nudge him in the right direction. but after months of hearing him complain and fret over the situation, she couldn't take it anymore

"itadori, i know you're scared, but believe me, it's better to just rip off the band-aid and confess your feelings" she said firmly, tired of being in the middle of the both of you "and if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, then at least you'll have closure and you can move on"

yuuji looked at her warily. deep down he knew she was right, but the thought of confessing his feelings and being rejected was still nerve-wracking for him. he took a deep breath and nodded. "you're right, kugisaki. i need to do this" he said, determination written all across his face as he stood up, walking away from the table

yuuji stopped in his tracks, turning around with a nervous chuckle "i mean, i don't have to tell her right no-" "go itadori!" nobara yelled, making the boy flinch and continue walking

yuuji walked down the hallway, his mind racing with thoughts of how he was going to confess his feelings to you. he felt a mix of excitement and nervousness, but he pushed those feelings aside and focused on his task at hand

he saw you walking around the hallway, shooting you a quick nervous smile and walking towards you. you smiled, continuing to walk to him and meeting him halfway.

"hey yuu" you smiled. oh how he loved that smile and that nickname you called him that always made his heart flutter. "heyy... can we..." he paused, searching for the right words "can we go out sometime... as more than just friends?"

you furrow your brows and tilt your head, your adorable smile still plastered on your face "more than just friends?" you question. yuuji took a deep breath and took a step forward, his heart hammering in his chest. he couldn't believe he was about to do this, but he knew he had to.

his eyes were locked on yours as he summoned all his courage. his nerves were still getting the better of him, but he forced himself to keep going.

"there's something i've been meaning to tell you for a long time now," yuuji began, his voice hoarse. "i... i.." the words got caught in his throat, and he found himself struggling to continue. he took a deep breath and tried to steady his nerves

"i'm in love with you" he said finally, his eyes never leaving yours "i think about you all the time, and every time i see you, it feels like my heart is about to explode. i know this might come as a shock to you, but i had to tell you how i feel. i just couldn't keep it to myself anymore"

as yuuji spoke, he felt as though a weight was lifting off his shoulders. he had said what he needed to say, and now it was up to you to decide how to respond. yuuji held his breath, waiting for your reaction

you smiled at yuuji, feeling a warm tingle in your chest. "then it's a date" you said, your voice filled with excitement. yuuji was dumbfounded for a second. blinking a few times to process it. that was not the words he was expecting

you put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze "you can text me the details later, yeah?". yuuji nodded, not being able to formulate words just yet. "i'll see you around" you say, giving him a light kiss on his cheek. yuuji could feel his brain short circuit and as you walked away all he could think about is how he was gonna tell kugisaki all bout what just happened

your date with yuuji was going great. you and yuuji had spent the afternoon exploring a beautiful art museum together. yuuji spent a lovely time admiring you. he claims you were the real art

after a few hours of admiring the artwork, yuuji suggested grabbing a bite to eat to prolong the date a little longer. you were more than happy to oblige, especially since the thought of spending more time with him made your heart flutter

as you and yuuji walked, he couldn't help but smile. he was having such a great time with you, it felt like nothing in the world could bring him down

as the two of you walked to the nearby restaurant, yuuji reached out to open the door for you, earning a warm smile in return. the restaurant was bustling with activity, but the noise faded into the background as you and yuuji sat down at your table

as you sat across from yuuji, he couldn't help but stare at you. the soft, warm light of the candles illuminated your face, making your eyes sparkle and your lips shine. yuuji felt like he was in a dream, and he couldn't believe that he finally had the chance to spend some time alone with you romantically

absolutely nothing could ruin this moment

but he spoke to soon. standing at your table was the guy that had been chummy with her in her physics class. why the hell was he the waiter??. yuuji's smile instantly dropped and he couldn't help but let out a sigh

"oh- what a wonderful surprise!" he spoke to you, completely ignoring yuuji "you look absolutely stunning". you chuckle nervously at his comment, immediately picking up on the tension that surrounded the table

the tension in the air was palpable as yuuji watched that guy continue to flirt with you. yuuji felt a pang of jealousy and couldn't help but scowl at the thought of that guy trying to steal you away from him (even though you weren't his). he tried to keep his cool, but it was clear that the waiter's presence was bothering him greatly

"would you like todays special?" the guy asked you. you hum, turning to look at yuuji before speaking "what're you gonna order, yuu?". his head perked up at the use of his nickname, making his heart flutter a bit. "uhh.. yeah i do" he spoke, glancing at the waiter who had finally acknowledged his presence "i just didn't want to interrupt his futile attempt at flirting"

you couldn't help but choke out a chuckle as the waiter visibly glared at yuuji. "u-um.. that's our orders then" you tried not to laugh. the guy left with an eye roll and yuuji followed his movements with a glare

after he's farther away you let out a low laugh and yuuji looks at you a bit confused. "were you jealous just now, yuu?" you say, your laughter dying out but a smile still lingering on your face. yuuji's face flushed in embarrassment. "w-what?? no" he lied, averting his gaze from you

"it's okay, yuu. i'm not surprised that you were jealous" you said with a chuckle "i mean, who wouldn't be? that guy was definitely flirting with me"

yuuji felt a sense of relief wash over him. he didn't want to come across as possessive or insecure, but it was hard not to feel a tinge of jealousy in that moment. "how humble" yuuji scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully at you

the rest of the day went amazing and the guy had actually switched tables after yuuji humiliated him in front you. you were both scared of ruining the friendship but this date proved that you could both have something more and that it could actually last

yuuji walked you to your dorm. the walk filled with laughs and conversations about your times in high school were yuuji did stupid stuff all the time and you were there to scold him

standing at your front door, you looked for your keys in your purse. the keys jingled in your hand as you pulled them out. "i had a great time tonight" yuuji spoke from behind you, a warm and tender smile adorning his face. you turn to him a shy smile gracing your lips. "yuu... do you wanna... y'know.. spend the night?" you muttered, batting your eyelashes at him

his eyes widened and his brain ran wild with lewd thought. "s-sure" he spoke out, almost immediately. you chuckle lightly before opening the door and heading inside

you're straddled on top of yuuji, sloppily making out. his hands on your hips, rolling them forward, making you grind on his aching cock

you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second. you knew yuuji was big but you didn't know how big. he was massive, and he was definitely going to break you

yuuji broke the kiss, a string of saliva connecting you both as you pant heavily. "you sure you wanna do this?" he asked, his breath heavy and his eyes clouded with lust. you nod eagerly, beginning to take your shirt off and revealing your lacy bra

yuuji can't help but ogle your breast. "shit" he muttered, feeling his dick throb at the sight of you. your hands go to your back as you un-clip your bra, revealing your magnificent tits. his hands hesitantly travel up your body, cupping a boob in his hand and squeezing it

he let out a shaky breath as you tugged on his shirt, immediately taking it off and your hands landing on his ripped chest. he couldn't help but whine at your touch. boy, was he sensitive. you stood up, pulling your bottoms down as he did the same

you couldn’t help but stare at his hard, veiny dick, it was so pretty but you just knew that you were gonna be wrecked after this. your hands subconsciously wrap around your stomach, trying to cover your exposed body in embarrassment. "do you umm... do you have any idea how to do this?" you asked, embarrassment noticiable in your tone

yuuji tried his hardest not to drool at the sight of your naked body, keeping his eyes respectfully on yours. "i've seen a few videos" he shrugged nervously. you sat on the bed next to him, feeling his gaze on your chest. "can i.. take the lead?" he asked hesitantly, his eyes desperately roaming yours for approval

you gave a small nod and he wasted no time getting on top of you, using one hand to hold himself up and the other to spread your legs apart. his calloused hands roamed your soft skin and every touch sent a shiver through your spine. “if you want me to stop just say the word and i will. no questions asked, kay?”

you nod again, not being able to formulate words in your current moment. he pushed a single finger in, your wetness smearing down to his knuckles. you squirm a bit. yuuji’s fingers were definitely way more longer and thicker than your own

yuuji pushed his finger in and out of you slowly, your walls gripping on his thick finger as he stared in awe. all he wanted to do was slam his dick into you and have you tighten around him

“think you can take another one?” he whispered, a second finger grazing your entrance. “mhm” you hummed, your hands on his broad shoulders, your nails digging small crescent moons on them

yuuji pushed a second finger in and you can feel your pussy being stretched, a stingy feeling soon turning into pleasure. his pace fastened and moans began to escape your plump lips. “f-fuck ahh” your moans were just heavenly for yuuji and he couldn’t get enough of them. his fingers began to do scissor motions inside your walls, stretching them even more

part of him enjoyed watching you squirm like that because of his fingers. it just made him imagine how you’d be when he sunk his cock into you. he pulled his finger out, aligning himself at your entrance. he hissed at the contact. his virgin cock ached to be sunked into your pretty virgin hole that he so desperately wanted to destroy (with love)

he took your hand in his, slowly sinking himself into your gummy walls. your arousal fresh around his dick, he couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. he was so gonna brag to megumi about this later

you can feel yourself getting full, taking a quick glance where you and him were connected to see that his dick was only half way in. “shitt” you groan, your back arching slightly. “w-what’s wrong?” yuuji asks frantically, worry and concern very visible on his tone and face. “you’re just- aghh.. really big yuu” you explained

yuuji felt his ego soar into the sky at your words. he let out a breathy laugh, suddenly feeling bold, his nervousness seeming to slip away. “you can take it tho, right pretty?” he cooed. you clenched down on him, earning a whine as he continued to sink himself in deeper

“you’re- fuck, s’tight” he groaned, his thumb rubbing circles on your hips. he waited a few minutes for you to adjust, the pain turning into pleasure as you gave him the green light to move

he rocked his hips slowly. he was soft and gentle with his movements at first, being careful not to accidentally break you. that lasted about 40 seconds. your pussy began to tighten around him, making him want to hit deeper and harder into you

part of him wanted to fuck you silly while the other part of him wanted to go slow and kiss all over your body. so he combined them. he thrusted fast and deep into you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass. his lips worked their way through your body, kissing you all over

one hand intertwined with yours and the other holding your hips in place. you could feel yourself seeing stars. yuuji was filling you up so good. stretching and molding your pretty little hole to the shape of his big, veiny cock

his tip hitting your sweet spot every time without fail. your tits bouncing up and down to the rhythm of his thrust. you could feel a knot forming in your stomach as yuuji’s thrust became sloppier

“‘m s’close” you moan out. you can feel him groan against your neck that was probably littered with hickeys. “me too” he panted, his thrust faltering “can i cum inside?”. you clenched harder around him, nodding eagerly “yes- fuckk, yesss”

you felt the knot in your stomach break, your back arching as you scratched yuujis shoulder. with a few more thrust, yuuji dumped his seed into your velvety walls, successfully painting them white. he pulled out, watching your mixed cum trail out of your abused hole

it was such a lewd sight but oh boy did he enjoy it. this was surely a first date the two of you would remember for the rest of your lives

© MINARINNN 2023 - please do not plagiarize or upload my content on any social media platform.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

i am confused

Making this its own separate post + expanding on it so it doesn’t get lost in the quagmire that is the book 7 part 8 update 💀

Feel free to let me know your own thoughts or theories too, I’m just rambling here.

***Spoilers below the cut!!***

So like… Is anyone else confused as to how Silver can use his UM Meet in a Dream so many times with NO ONE making a comment about how he's building up a considerable amount of blot???????

Vargas Camp seems to suggest that using one's UM typically uses up a considerable amount of magic compared to a non-UM spell. (The boys felt it would be dangerous to cast UM without at least a sizable magestone.) This is not true of all UMs though; Kalim's Oasis Maker, for example, allows him to offer up a small amount of magic to produce a great amount of water. So let's say for argument's sake that Silver's UM is similar to Kalim's and does not require a ton of magic per use. (Edit: this detail is confirmed true in the recent update.)

But??? That still doesn't make a ton of sense???? Silver was in constant battles against Silver Owls while in Lilia's dream, meaning he is physically being chipped away at. No matter how physically fit, capable, or well-trained he is, Silver is only human and his stamina and perseverance has its limits. He also suffered immense emotional distress in Lilia's dream after realizing that he is the son of the man who killed Malleus's mother ON TOP of having doubts that he is worthy of Lilia's love AND fixating on how no matter how hard he tries, he can never truly "pay back" his father. I guess it can be argued that the pixies healed them on their trek (+ there was that one scene where Lilia and co. rest in a Silver Owls camp) and that Silver "got over" his feelings after Sebek shouted at him about how much Silver is loved... Even then, that's not really a good explanation??? Silver climbed up those daunting mountains surrounding Castle Blackscale--mountains which have oppressive magic that harms humans. This is POST-pixie encounter, so he'd still be walking in with damage from that, not to mention the blow of lightning magic he took from Maleanor???? I'd also think that while Sebek's pep talk (well, pep shout) helped clear Silver's head, it wouldn't invoke a sudden character change on the spot; Silver would no doubt still have lingering feelings and would need time to properly sort them out and reconcile with them. They haven't been addressed in full yet, at least not until Silver can like get some closure on his own terms, maybe by sitting down and talking with Lilia about everything they learned. (That's definitely a topic for post book 7 though.) Now think about how many times Silver is expected to use his UM. At minimum, he has already used it 4 times (to show up in Yuu's dream, then to hop into Sebek's dream, then Lilia's, then Idia's). In the most recent update, Silver has used it no less than an additional 4 times (to jump from Idia's dream to Epel's, then to Rook's, then to Vil's, then to presumably a Scarabia boy's which is where the next update will likely pick up). THAT'S ALREADY 8 TIMES????? And he has like 11 or 12 more dreams to visit, including having to jump back to Idia’s dream and then prep for fighting Malleus???? It's like 20 times Silver is expected to use his UM, with very little down time in between because... oh yeah, TWISTED WONDERLAND IS ABOUT TO HAVE ETERNAL NAP TIME IF THEY DON'T HURRY TF UP 🤡 That's not even mentioning the increased loads each time Silver casts his UM (since they're collecting students like Pokemon to gang up on Malleus). If previous UMs imply anything, more people should make it more difficult to pull off a spell. Ruggie had to use a magic-enhancing potion to control a whole statium, Cater is strained the more clones he creates at any given time. Jamil's hypnosis magic cast upon a group causes him to accumulate blot so much faster. Shouldn't this be a major concern for Silver??????? Should I be concerned for Silver????????

Don't get me wrong, I love that we're able to dream hop and see what each of the main cast characters are dreaming of, but 💦 I don't know if I should be worried or not about Silver's health???????? Because I could see why the devs would just hand wave it off in this instance (cuz how else are they going to travel to each dream and save the world? They're kind of on a time crunch here...), but at the same time I can see it going the other way and sort of breaking immersion?? Unless this is all intentional and they're going to jumpscare us with a Silver OB or him struggling against it later in book 7 💀 (I mean... the guy hasn't gotten his limited SSR for book 7 yet, so maybe it'll be related to this???)

Or is it just possible for him to break the limits of his magic since this is a dream...? We’ve seen other characters OB at will and be able to seemingly stay rational while in that form... but if that's the case, then why does Silver still feel tired and physically worn down in Lilia's dream after fighting so much? Why do they worry about taking too many hits and actually dying within the dreams? Can't he theoretically stay at "perfect" health after using his magic so much???

Does it not count as using “real” magic since they’re in a dream and therefore have much more flexibility in how they spellcast?? Or is it that it’s their dream!selves casting so it’s not real magic since it’s not their physical forms spellcasting…? Is blot accumulation slowed since Silver is technically sleeping and rest helps with healing from blot?? But then how does that impact their real bodies if at all?

I DON'T KNOW, I'M CONFUSED OTL

[bambikisss]

OHMAMI : K.HongJoong

🛵 : (mentioned)motorcyclist!HongJoong, badboy!HongJoong

📙 : After getting into a harsh argument with your boyfriend, things seem to get worse when the car breaks down, leaving you both stranded in the rain. So, not being to take it anymore, you call HongJoong to pick you and just drop you off at home. However, it seems he has other plans with you, tonight.

⚠ : mentions of vaping, slight cheating (if you don't take talking about breaking up as breaking up), unprotected sex

🎶 : OHMAMI - Chase Atlantic, Rude Boy - Rihanna, Deja Vu - Beyonce, Inception - ATEEZ

💕: Unprotected sex, vaping during sex (HJ does it once), complete bad boy HJ, passionate to rough, oral (m+f receiving), use of handcuffs, multiple orgsam (reader), taking a video/picture, biting, fingering

->Bambi's notes : I actually love this one so much, plus I love oreo HJ a lot lol. This may be one of my favorites.

(B/N = Boyfriend's name, HJ is just a shorter version of HongJoong.)

COMMENTS + REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED | ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

You always thought relationships should be easy. No, they should be. So why were you yelling at your boyfriend of 2 years in his old ass car on the side of the highway during a goddam rainstorm, when you should be home in bed?

"No, don't put this on me, B/N! All I asked you to do was block her number and you can't even do that! I asked you to do this almost two months ago and you're still texting her?!"

Oh, that's why- your boyfriend refused to cut off his previous fling. When you both started dating, you met her under the lie that she was his sister. You found that weird because, for the year you had known him before you both had begun dating, he had never mentioned any other siblings, nor did his parents. So imagine your surprise when you hear his phone buzzing in the middle of the night to see a text from her saying "I know we agreed to stop sleeping with each other, but I need you, tonight. The toys don't feel as good as you."

Now, when you first read it, you were in shock as Sweet Home Alabama blasted in your head. But, then you became rightfully upset. You thought about it all night until the next day, bringing it up with him during breakfast. And when you saw the color absolutely drain from his face, you knew he had some explaining to do. That's when he told you the truth: she was his friend and ex-fling. He had agreed to break it off when you and him began dating, but she seemed to think otherwise. You could remember how hard you gripped the spatula at his words, not being able to understand why he had not only lied to you, making you believe that she was your sister, but that she still thought it was alright to text you something like that.

After a few weeks of him apologizing, you told him that the only way you would get closure was for him to block her number. You thought that since she didn't respect his wishes to end it, then she wasn't a friend he should keep around. He agreed to do that for you.

No, he promised. 

So when you saw her at the party you and your boyfriend were attending together, and noticed the way she seemed to look at him, you knew something was up. Your feeling then got worse when you noticed how often your boyfriend was on his phone and how much effort he put into keeping it from your view. Your feeling was then confirmed when you got in the car later and the bright message came onto the car's screen: I promise. Y/N won't know about us.

That now led to the argument you and your boyfriend were having on the side of a highway during heavy rain in his car. As your voices continued to rise, you knew that this conversation wouldn't be going anywhere. You needed to go home and just be away from him, and maybe drink some of your favorite wine. "You know what, B/N? Whatever. No, seriously whatever. Take me home." Your voice was almost deadpan and broken due to all the yelling that had just been happening. Your boyfriend sighed, flicking his wrist to turn the car in the ignition as he tried to turn the car on, mumbling his own "whatever." However, the car didn't turn on. He continued to try and turn it on, sighing when he noticed the E flashing on his dashboard.

You felt a spark of annoyance fill you once more as you realized that he didn't fucking put gas in the car like you had suggested he do for days. Sometimes, it felt like taking care of a child and talking to a wall. "Fuck. What are you going to do?" You didn't hide your annoyance in your voice as B/N rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone. Your eyes then instantly zoomed in on the name on the top of his messages. You then cursed when you noticed he was texting her to drop off some gas for the car, and then sending her his location. You felt your body heat up as you met his eyes. Out of all the people he knew, he chose her, the subject of the argument to come drop off gas?

"Really, her? You couldn't pick someone else?" You asked, crossing your arms as your boyfriend pinched his nose, mumbling a small "shut up, Y/N."

That was your last straw.

You took out your own phone, opening your own messages to click on your close friend, HongJoong. You'd be dammed if you saw his "sister", ex-fling, or whatever she actually was to him, and let her help you get home tonight. You'd find another way.

Your eyes zoomed in on the keyboard as you quickly typed out a quick SOS message and your location to HongJoong. Within a few moments, you were not only gifted with a read receipt but with a message saying "On my way." Good ole HongJoong- would drop anything to come help you.

"Who are you texting?" Your eyes narrow at your boyfriend, his question making you hot once more. You don't respond, choosing to scroll through social media till HongJoong got here. You hoped he would get here before the other woman got here.

Well, you seemed to be lucky tonight, because soon parked his black hellcat in front of your boyfriend's car, then texted you "here. come on, princess."

While you were gathering your things, your boyfriend narrowed his eyes at the car, looking at it through the rain before he realized who that car belonged to. You knew how your boyfriend felt about HongJoong, which also drove you to choose him to come pick you up. Your boyfriend and HJ didn't mix well- your boyfriend hated how HJ always seemed to have his arm wrapped around you, a smirk on his lips when he talked to you, or how he constantly used nicknames with you. HJ, on the other hand, thought your boyfriend was shady and annoying. You smirked as you grabbed your bag, only for your wrist to be grabbed by your boyfriend, his voice now tense as he spoke. "Really, him? You really couldn't wait for-"

"You told me to shut up. Take me leaving as me shutting up" you hissed, ripping your wrist from his grip as you made sure you had everything. Before you could open the car door, though, your boyfriend spoke one more time. "If you get in his car, we're breaking up."

Now, what kind of threat was that? You rolled your eyes before you opened the car door, allowing the rain to hit your body as you met your boyfriend's eyes for the last time that night. "Fine. We're done. Fuck you and have fun fucking your sister." And with that, you slammed the car door closed, making your way to HJ's warm car. When you sat down in the passenger seat, you were met with HJ wearing his signature black hoodie and ripped jeans. He had his half-blonde, half-black hair styled, rings over his fingers, and a fruit punch-flavored vape snug in one hand. When you met his eyes, you noticed his new eyebrow piercing that seemed to glint in the streetlights.

"So, do you want to tell me now or later why I'm picking you up on the side of the highway from your boyfriend's car?" He asked, smiling at you softly as picked up his vape, taking a deep breath of the flavored nicotine before rolling down his window, breathing out the smoke before returning his attention to you. You don't know how many times you had told him to stop vaping, but he always seemed to ignore your words, but respectfully- not vaping around you in closed areas, not pushing out the smoke in your direction, not taking you to the vape shop with him, etc. You always appreciated it, for some weird reason.

"No. Just take me home. It's a long story that I do not want to relive right now." HJ noticed the annoyance in your voice, chuckling before turning his car on, the expensive car revving to life before he simply said "whatever you say, princess"

~>~

"So, like I had told you a while ago, he was still talking to his "sister?" You rolled your eyes at the playful tone in HongJoong's voice as he drove, shaking his head as he approached a red light. When you had told him about the whole situation, you hoped he would comfort you first, then make fun of it. But, deep down, you knew better. "I thought I had made it pretty obvious that I didn't want him talking to her. Then he had the nerve to say that if I got in your car, then he would break up with me."

"Woah, Y/N. So it's over?" HongJoong turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow hopefully. You shook your head as you rested it against the window, watching as the remaining rain drops from the rain storm moved down his windshield. You knew it wasn't really over. He said that in the heat of the moment and you knew that this needed an actual conversation because you knew B/N. He always said something in an argument to leave you a sting of pain.

Your attention soon returned to the street signs as the car moved, your eyebrows furrowing as you realized that this isn't the way to your house, but to HongJoong's. When you mentioned it to him, he only chuckled before he said "Y/N, princess, come on. You really think I would let you go home where I know that you're going to down a bottle of wine by yourself and cry? Why would I, being the great friend that I am, let you do that? So, you're staying with me at my house. No exceptions." You tried to argue weakly with him, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to change his mind. You relaxed back in the seat, watching the familiar street signs move as he drove.

The car soon stopped in front of his garage, the lights on inside to show you that he instantly left when you sent him that text. That thought made you smile. "Hold on, princess." Before you could leave the car, you felt his hand wrap around your wrist, the same way your boyfriend's had, but only more gentle. You turned to meet his eyes as his fingers gently moved over the skin on your wrist, his eyes glimmering with something bad...almost naughty as he looked at you. "Even though I know you know this about me, just remember that I'm the type of man to take what someone says at face value...and since your little boyfriend, no ex, said that if you got in my car, it's over, and you got in my car..."

HongJoong let his words trail off as he lifted your wrist to his lips, pressing a small kiss to it before gently biting it with teeth, making you gasp softly. He smiled more against your wrist before he dropped your hand from his grasp, shooting you a wink before grabbing his vape and car keys, making his way inside. HongJoong had a thing for you for the longest time, it only growing when he saw you with B/N. He felt protective and almost territorial over you, not hesitating to wrap his arm over your shoulder or call you a variety of nicknames even though he knew you were taken. He knew that he could be a better man for you, no, that he was the better man for you. He just needed to see if you felt the same way.

You sat in shock in his car, noticing how slow he was putting his key into the door, as if he was waiting for you. You scrambled to grab your bag and phone before jogging up to join him at the front door, making him chuckle. "There you are, princess. I thought you were going to try and spend the whole night sleeping in my hellcat."

Your mind was still scrambled due to HongJoong's actions, not responding to his comment as you follow him into the house. You smiled at the familiar scent, along with the various motorcycle items on the kitchen counter, all polished. You smiled as you dragged one of your fingers along the helmet, smiling more at the reflection of you and HJ. "You know, you still haven't taken me on a ride on your prized motorcycle. You promised me for my birthday last year that you would" You laugh softly as he rolls his eyes, approaching you with his own smile as he moves to press his chest against yours, making you back up against the counter and helmet. "I rushed to go pick you up from your goddam boyfriend and this is how you treat me, Y/N? I'm offended" You bite your lip softly as one of his hands moved to your lower back, right above your ass as he whispers "plus, you can ride something else, tonight."

You didn't know where HongJoong suddenly obtained the confidence to say such things and touch you like this, but it made you almost dizzy. You had never felt that way for your boyfriend when he did this stuff to you, but HongJoong seemed to have your mind already fuzzy, all from a flirty joke and his touch alone. "Tell me, Y/N, have you ever thought about me when you're with B/N? Do you ever wish you were in my car or in my house when you were with him?" HongJoong raised an eyebrow as he spoke, his hand moving slowly up the small of your back as his fingers poke the under the your shirt, making you sigh. "Do you ever wish it was me touching you like that? Don't you wish you were in my bed, my lips all over you, making you feel so much better than your fucking ex?" You didn't have a response, but he knew. He had seen how your eyes linger on his lips when they're wrapped around his vape, how you get when he wraps his arm over your shoulder, how you seem to call him first when something happens so he can comfort you. You have female friends who could comfort you, but you always seem to want him first.

Your mind was dizzy, trying to remind you about B/N, but you couldn't. HJ had you in a trance...and he wasn't wrong.

You met him in a hungry kiss, running your hands through his hair as his hands move under your shirt, working on removing your bra. You gasped softly into the kiss as he skillfully removed your bra, pulling it from under your top before he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. The kiss seemed to become hotter as he began to walk you both to his bedroom, his groans coming through the kiss as you ground against him. Your eagerness only made him more horny, kicking open his bedroom door before he pressed you against the first wall he saw, your back now against one of his posters as he continued to kiss you, his tongue pushing into your mouth as his fingers push up your top.

"Fuck, Joong," You gasped as your breasts became exposed to the cold bedroom air, the nipples hardening as HongJoong tossed away the fabric. He smirked softly, glad that you're already saying his name. But, he has things to attend to.

Your eyes close as his lips wrap around one of your nipples, the other one getting pinched and rolled by one of his hands. Your legs seem to tighten around his waist, arching your back as his teeth seem to graze over your nipple before he switches, giving the other one the same treatment as he says "wouldn't want this other one to be jealous." You didn't care, running your hands through his hair as he slowly kissed down your breasts, licking along your stomach as he got onto his knees. You never thought you'd see him on his knees, but it did something for you. He roughly pulled down your pants, tossing them away haphazardly before he gripped your legs, placing them onto his shoulders as he looked up at you with hooded eyes.

"You know, I've always wondered if you have pretty panties. Based on all the bathing suits you've worn, it always made me hard to think that you had pretty little panties that could get ruined by your naughty pussy" You didn't have a chance to respond to his words as he pushed your underwear to the side, licking a long strip up your pussy slowly before going back to dive his tongue into you. Your back once again arched against the wall as he played with your folds, taking his time tasting and licking every crevice of you. You hummed against his face, rolling your hips against his face as he sped up.

"Good girl, baby." HongJoong gently pulls back from your pussy, spitting back into it before he sped up his movements, his mind filled with only thoughts of pleasing you, getting you off on his tongue right against his wall. You can't help but moan louder as he speeds up, one of his hands moving up your body to grip your neck as he moans loudly into your pussy, the vibrations pushing you closer to your orgsam. HongJoong smiles as he notices how much louder you've gotten, his tongue now curling and speeding up as he fucks you with his tongue. His eyes never left yours as he squeezed around your neck, his own moan getting louder as your eyes begin to roll back. "Come on baby. Cum for me." He lowly praised you as you came, his tongue only slowing down when you began to whine.

As you slowly come down from your high, you feel HongJoong move you from the wall to the bed, roughly dropping you onto the bed before he begins to strip himself. You turned your head to see him standing in front of you, completely naked with his hand wrapped around his thick cock, moving along his length slowly as he watched you. You could feel your mouth and body regain all of your energy as you watched him, a small moan leaving your lips as his thumb moved along his tip, gathering his precum before chuckling. You sat up on your knees as he moved to sit on the bed in front of you, his free hand gripping your jaw to make sure you met his eyes.

HongJoong had many fantasizes about you, but seeing you right now on your knees in front of him in his bedroom did something to him. He felt like he could cum right at the sight, but he wanted to wait.

His eyes continued to meet yours as his precum covered thumb moved to your lips, watching as you slowly opened your mouth to wrap around it, your tongue moving to meet it as you licked and sucked it clean. He couldn't help but smirk, his eyes darkening once more as his cock twitched.

"I knew it, Y/N. You're absolutely filthy." He chuckled, humming as he moved his thumb around your mouth before pulling it from your lips, smirking at the string of saliva you left connecting to his thumb. You nodded at his words, willing to agree to whatever he said in that moment. HongJoong chuckled at your nod, laying down on the bed with his head against your knees. You looked at him with confusion across your face as he grabbed his vape, your hands running through his hair as he slowly blows out the flavored air. At the feeling of your hands in his hair along with the rush from the vape, he couldn't help but close his eyes. It felt nice, despite the fact that you both were naked and horny still, this moment was something he had always wanted with you. But, his twitching dick needed to be attended to.

"Sit on my face."

The moment was quickly shattered at his words, your eyes widening as your hands stilled in his hair. He slowly opened his eyes to see your reaction, your wide eyes making him laugh. "Come on, Y/N, don't be so shocked. Who wouldn't want you to sit on their face?" You could feel your cheeks heat up, smacking his shoulder as he laughed more. His blunt words had you stunned, but the idea did make you wet once more.

"I've never done it before, though" You had wanted to with B/N, but the opportunity never came up as well sex with him was...bland. HongJoong hummed as he kissed your knee and thighs, shrugging before he looked up at you once more. "And? Who better to do it with than with me?" You gasped as he gripped your knees, spreading them open before his hands moved up your sides, pulling you closer to his body to almost crawl over him. You let him move you, placing your hands on the bed as they sat on either side of his legs. You couldn't help but notice his thick cock once more leaking precum as his hands move up your thighs and ass, gripping your flesh as he hummed. He spread you open before his hands gripped your hips, pulling you back so you could sit on his open mouth. At first, you tried to not fully sit down as you were scared of crushing him, but that only made him groan loudly in annoyance, his teeth meeting the inside of your thigh before roughly pulled you down onto his mouth.

Your head immediately fell back as his tongue eagerly moved around your pussy, his moans now louder. In this position, his tongue could go deeper into you, but he could also feel and grip your ass.

"Fuck, you taste so good. I knew someone as hot as you would have such a naughty pussy, Y/N." HongJoong gripped your hips more as his lips wrapped around your clit, chuckling when he felt your thighs shake. You felt like you couldn't sit up straight anymore, leaning forward so your hands were once again against the bed, your hips still making sure to press down again his mouth. Your moans got louder the deeper his tongue moved in you, his rings adding to the experience as he gripped your ass, spreading you open just the way he wanted. Your head soon turned to see his cock still leaking, you mouth watering once more as you thought of his taste you had on his thumb.

HJ felt you move, raising an eyebrow. "Y/N, why are you- oh my fucking god, baby"

His head fell back as you took him into your mouth, his mouth open as you licked along his length. He was going to ask you later on if you wanted to suck him off, but having you now in this position was just as good, if not better. He chuckled breathlessly as you shook your ass, reminding him of what he should be doing. He licked his lips before his focus returned, one of his hands coming down to smack your ass, moaning deeply with you as you moan around his cock, one of his fingers moving along your pussy before pushing into you. He tossed his head back again as you moaned louder around him, not hesitating to begin to fuck you with his finger while his other hand slowly moved up your back to your head, pushing you down around his cock before he began to fuck up into your throat, chuckling whenever you choked or gurgled around his cock.

"Don't act like you can't take this cock, Y/N. We both know you're a naughty girl," he tsked, his hand moving from your hair back to your ass as he gripped it, moving it so he could watch his finger enter and disappear in you only to reappear covered in your wet juices. You moaned loudly at his words, pressing your nose down against him as you held him in your throat for a few seconds, making him moan before smacking your ass again, a small "good girl" leaving his lips in praise before he added another finger into you, curling it.

You felt your second orgsam approach as he moved his fingers faster, his hand moving to grip your hair as he tugged you off his cock, wanting to hear you moan his name louder as his fingers plunged into you at a rough pace. With him repeatedly hitting your spot and with how hard he was gripping your hair, you knew your orgsam was going to hit fast and hard, just like how you both wanted.

"Joong, I'm so close, don't stop" you moaned, your own body moving back and forth to meet his fingers' movements, making him not only moan, but move even faster. He placed a small kiss and bite to your thigh as it began to shake, curling his fingers once more as you began to shake around them. He praised you as you came, his hand moving from your hair to smack your ass gently, moving his body so you could lay down against the bed. He licked his fingers as he watched you shake gently against the bed, feeling like you could fall asleep right there. But, the feeling of sleep went away when you felt his hands move up your body to your shoulders, the tip of his cock now pressing against your entrance.

"Don't fall asleep on my now, Y/N. I still haven't came yet, nor have you got to wet my cock." You gripped the sheets as you tried to sit up to try and explain that you couldn't move your legs, but he seemed to beat you to it. You rested your head against the bed as he stood up from the bed, walking out of the room. You rested against the bed as you tried to wonder what he was doing especially after what he had said. You had never came twice from someone, especially that hard and without them even using their cock. A part of you couldn't help but be excited at the idea of him fucking you though, especially with how thick it felt in your throat.

HJ soon returned to your sight, his naked body leaning against the doorway as he looked at you. You couldn't see his hands, but you noticed how his eyes slowly moved over your body, admiring it once more as his cock twitched again. He wanted to see it once more before he ruined you, knowing that when he was done having you cum all over his cock, you both were going to be too exhausted to do anything else.

"Tell me, baby, did B/N ever... experiment with you?" You raised an eyebrow at his words, shaking your head at his words. "No, it was always pretty vanilla, why?"

"Well, that's such a shame, isn't it? He should always be looking for new ways to pleasure you, make you scream his name, to make you cum the hardest, right?" You nodded at his words, making him smile. His smile looked mischievous and evil, his tongue coming out to lick along his bottom lip before he fully pushed open the bedroom door, showing a small grey digital camera in one hand and a pair of handcuffs in the other. He slowly approached the bed, his fingers playing with the handcuffs as his eyes locked in one yours. His eyes were dark- like you were being hunted.

"I wouldn't want you to forget about our night together, Y/N. I want you to hold any other man who you sleep with to my standards, princess." He tossed the items onto the bed before he gripped your jaw, pulling you close to him, his lips hovering right over yours. You couldn't help but lean in close to try and kiss him, but he quickly pulled back, chuckling at your pout before he shook his head. "No, no, baby. Let me set you up first, then we can maybe kiss"

"Well then, hurry up" HJ chuckled at your eagerness, despite just not being able to move a few minutes ago. But, nonetheless, he was here to please you.

He moved you so your hands were against the headboard, spreading your legs before he handcuffed your wrists together, then handcuffed them to the headboard. You looked down at your knees that sat pressed into his pillows before he pulled them back a bit, pressing his hand down against your lower back so you'd arch it. When he was satisfied with your position, he then reached down to grab the camera before leaning in to press his chest against your back, the tip of his cock against your pussy once more. He faced the camera towards you both, his lips moving to your ear as he whispered "a little before picture." He pressed a quick kiss to your ear before he clicked a button, the camera taking a picture of the two of you before he tossed it haphazardly onto the bed, his hands moving to grip your hips before he slowly pushed into you.

Your moans mixed in together as his cock stretched you out, your nails digging into the headboard as he his fingers dug into your hips. He slowly kissed up the back of your neck before biting down on your shoulder as his cock fully stretched you. He hummed at the feeling of your warm and wet walls around his cock, feeling you pulse around him before he slowly pulled back out, leaving just his tip in you before he grunted into your ear lowly "be loud, baby. Don't hold back."

Your nails dug more into the headboard as he roughly pushed back into your, his hips now snapping against your ass as you moaned loudly. Your jaw became slack as he fucked you, his loud moans mixing with yours as he smacked your ass. Your eyes had closed at the feeling, his hips beginning to slow down for a moment as he rolled his hips to meet your ass, moving deeper in you. Then, you heard it.

Click.

Click.

You bit your lip at the sound of the camera going off, turning your head back to see HJ holding the camera, taking a picture of your ass against his hips, your arched back, and now-

"Keep looking back here at me, baby" he too a picture of your face as he picked back up the pace, snapping a few of your reactions to his cock diving in you before he dropped the camera once more in favor of gripping your hips. You felt your body heat up once more, panting that you were about to cum again. HongJoong only chuckled deeply before he whispered in your ear "I don't fucking care, cum again for me baby. Come on, cream on my cock, I'm still going to fuck you till I fill you up with my cum"

You moaned loudly at his words, clamping down around him before you came, your body shivering at the feeling as he moaned. The cum ring began to form around his cock, making him have to rip his eyes from his cock before he gripped your breasts, pulling your body. You bit your lip as your back was now fully arched, your wrists still against the headboard while your legs were now against the bed, HJ now straddling them before as he panted, his hair now pressed against his sweat covered forehead.

"Now, I can fuck you deeper baby and push my cum nice and deep, just like you deserve" he smirked before he began to move his hips again, biting his lips as he listened to you moaning his name louder as his cock drilled into you, the new position allowing him to go as deep as he wanted. He leaned down to bite your shoulder, licking the area before his hand moved around your stomach, chuckling as he felt his cock through you. "You're so fucking filthy, Y/N. Be honest, you wanted this- you wanted me to come pick you up, take you my house, handcuff you to my bed, and fuck this naughty pussy just like this, didn't you?"

"Yes! Yes, I wanted you to" you moaned loudly, your mind now a mess as he moves even faster, chuckling against your neck before he grunts, roughly pushing all the way in you before he stops, making you whine. He gently shushes you before he leaned back to grab his phone, unlocking it before he pulls up his camera, setting it on the nightstand so it could see you and him both on the recording before he pressed start.

HongJoong was now panting, kissing your shoulder before he whispered in your ear "I'm about to fucking cum" you nodded, spreading your legs a bit more as he began to grind against your ass, his hands moving up your body to grip your breasts before he bit the shell of your ear, grunting deep in your ear "I'm going to fill you up, baby, but I want to hear you ask for it. Be loud enough so the camera can hear you baby. Be loud"

"Please give me your cum, HongJoong, give me all of it. Fill me up so much that it leaks out of my pussy, so then you have to fuck it back into me"

Your words cause HongJoong's brain to short circuit, his cock driving into you a rough yet pleasurable pace as he wrapped his arms around your body, holding you close to him he placed wet kisses against your shoulder, growling lowly that he was super close. That was your only warning before his hips pressed roughly and firmly against your ass, his dick twitching in your before his cum painted your walls, his moan echoing around the room as he panted against your shoulder. His eyes were shut for a bit before one of his hands moved over your handcuffed wrists, his hips once more moving in you, ignoring how the overstimulation felt for him, his other hand moving to play with your clit. You gasped, meeting his hips as you moved back, your ass slightly bouncing against them as you chased after your last orgsam. Your eyes began to flutter closed as you came, your body falling limp around his biceps.

"There we go, baby, I'll hold you together. I knew you could do make a mess all over my dick" You hummed at his words, feeling like you were beyond cloud nine. You both rested against one another for a bit before he slowly uncuffed you from the headboard, carefully laying you down on the bed. You felt like you were going to fall asleep, your eyes fighting to stay open as he slowly pulled out of you before going to grab a rag and clean you up. You breathed in his scent on his pillow, a small smile coming onto your face at the scent before jumping a bit at the feeling of the cloth.

"Don't move, princess. You body must be sore" he hummed, wiping all of his cum from your body before he rubbed your back, pressing a kiss down to the small of your back before he laid down behind you, gently spooning you. You smiled at his warm embrace, your eyes still fighting to stay open.

You were about to doze off when you felt his arms move, his hands grabbing his phone from the nightstand before he stopped the recording. He then saved it, checking the time before he turned off his phone. "What are you going to do with that recording, Joong?"

"Well, it depends on how you answer my question, baby," you looked back over your shoulder at him, his lips pressed against your shoulder as his hand rubbed your side. You couldn't help but admire him- the moonlight that came through his window made his eyebrow piercing glimmer, his eyes were now soft, and his oreo colored hair was now a mix due to your hands running through them. He didn't look like such a bad boy in this moment, just HongJoong.

He admired you too, smiling against your shoulder before he decided to bite the bullet. "So, is this a one off thing, or...are you going to break up with B/N and maybe see where things can go with us?"

You could see the nervousness develop in HJ's eyes- a look you've never seen, but one you that showed you he meant it, and that he was being vulnerable with you. You carefully turned in the bed to cup his cheeks, a small smile on your lips before you spoke. "You're the person who said you'd take what someone says at face value. He said that if I got in your car, than he was breaking up with me. Plus, I had told him to have fun fucking his "sister," too, so-"

"You said what?" HongJoong laughed, making you laugh as he held up his hand, high fiving you before he slowly intertwined your fingers, pressing a kiss to your hand and your wrist, pulling you close so your head was against his chest. You nodded, squeezing your hand with his before you continued. "So, I think things are over between me and B/N. And, I'd love to see where things go between you and me, Joong. But, you have to take me riding on your motorcycle like you promised"

HongJoong laughed at your words, pressing a small kiss to your forehead before he nodded. "Fine, tomorrow I'll take you out on the motorcycle, but that's only after a safety lesson. Then, we'll go out for dinner."

You agreed with his words, squeezing your hand with his once more before your eyes slowly closed, listening to his heartbeat as you both fell asleep in each other's embrace, listening to the rain outside.

[crowleysgirl56]

The vast majority of people who work on a show are paid upfront for their labour

They don't get paid dependent on how successful a show is

They also don't do work that doesn't get paid- if they are working on a show that gets cancelled, they get paid for the work they did

All this 'stream GO for the hard workers behind the scenes' is bullshit

They work for companies are will be put on different projects

Just be honest that you want more GO (despite the message that it sends to studios- that audiences are ok with abusers! Just turn a blind eye to them! Yes that gives them more power but who cares because people will watch and make them money!)

Don't pretend your doing this for moral reasons

(And acting like you're doing this for Terry- for all we know he might want his work with an abuser completely destroyed- it's stupid to assume he'd want the series to be continued)

Like say this shit with your chest, you know?

Oh boy, ok. Gonna take a minute to answer this.

Firstly, I and a lot of the fandom, are heartbroken over what NG has done. Because we were duped into thinking he was a decent person. From the things that he wrote to the things that he said we thought that he was good person. And it is horrible that there are people out there suffering because yet another rich powerful white man decided he had the right to take advantage of them.

You seem rather angry and if that anger stems because you have experienced something similar yourself then I hope you have love and support around you so that you can heel.

If you want to talk about money, let me remind you that NG has already been paid for season 3. He will continue to get royalties, and thanks to the writers strike last year, he will now get more money for those royalties than before. If S3 doesn’t go ahead then hundreds of people will lose their jobs. Will they get other jobs? Sure, maybe. But any loss of job in this current economic climate is terrible and stressful (and I’m not talking about DT or MS here. They’ll get more work).

I don’t know if you understand how hyper fixation in neurodiversity works, but this is extremely painful for some people and takes a lot of time and energy and therapy to get over when a hyper fixation is threatened or taken away. Some people, like myself, need closure for things otherwise we can find it extremely difficult to move on emotionally. This obviously does not compare to someone trying to survive after SA, but emotional diversity can be extremely debilitating as well. They are apples and oranges to compare, but you can’t invalidate one person’s pain because you think another person’s pain is worth more.

As for the show itself, there is so little queer representation in media. There is a lot more nowadays compared to a decade ago, or even 5 years ago, but the little representation we have is so extremely important. Do you know how many people have found a truth to themselves thanks to GO? How many people discovered something about themselves that finally gives them answer to how they feel? How at the age of 40 I finally realised that I’m asexual and NOT BROKEN. That’s fucking important.

And this. ALL of this is why everyone, including me, are so fucking angry with NG. Because he has left us emotionally devastated. He has not just physically hurt these women. He has emotionally hurt hundreds of thousands of people. He is a stain.

I have spoken before when this all first happened about how I was angry that my one teeny tiny corner of the internet that made me happy was on fire. I left for a bit. I came back. I want to continue to interact with like minded people who love this fandom. I won’t stop that.

And frankly, and here’s the last I’ll say on this, the world is on fire. It is filled with a lot of fucking awful shit right now. I have suffered a very deep depression of late where some nights after I put the kids to bed I just stare and cry. You don’t know that about me because I don’t say those kinds of things on the internet, because our internet personas are facades. They’re not real. They’re not true life. I’m a real person and I’m aching inside about so many things. And these kinds of messages are just breaking me further. Seriously, when you send stuff like this do you even consider that?! So when I decide to hold onto one of the last bastions of entertainment that brings me joy, I’m not going to be guilted into dropping it because someone involved happens to be a monster. Because let me tell you if we did that every time someone turned out to be horrible, then we would never watch or enjoy anything ever again. EVERYTHING you watch or listen to or enjoy or like or cared about is connected to someone who is horrible or produced by a gigantic evil corporation (Nestle, Disney, Microsoft, Facebook, Google just to name a few). Every. Single. Thing. It’s the clothing you wear, the electronics you buy, the food you eat, the furniture in your house, and ALL the entertainment you consume. So if you gave up everything for some moral stance, then you would literally have nothing left.

Dropping Good Omens does nothing. It sends no message to anyone because the next really fucking awful person is about to produce the next big thing you might happen to love and care about. So what’s the point?

Let me have Good Omens. You don’t like that, then you can block me. That’s what the button is there for. You don’t need to send anonymous hateful messages. And if you want me to “say this shit with my chest” maybe you can send me an ask with the Anonymous off. So I can see your chest too.

I’m turning off anonymous asks now. Considering the only asks I’ve ever received is abusive shit telling me to kill myself or saying David Tennant is a paedophile or just telling me I’m a horrible person for supporting NG (when I’ve already stated before that I don’t anymore).

Sorry for those who’ve managed to get to the end here. Thanks for reading if you have, sorry it was so long. I hope you aren’t receiving the same type of messages. If Anonymous has read this far, I don’t know, maybe think twice before being horrible to random people on the internet?

[deadkraker]

ok had a reblog that awoke the cTommy demons in me so let me just rant for a second about my very specific flavour of cTommy I've made up ok? ok.

you know how like there's stories of kids surviving in the woods by themselves and living among animals? well my ctom is that but with a twist basically.

he spent about his all his early childhood (1 to a 8 year old) in the woods, alone, and like, he was living his best life honestly, I think that he'd sometimes spy on some village kids on the edges of the village but otherwise he was totally content to just frolic in the woods and eat bugs n shit.

but then cwil found him and was like 'oh no whats this child doing running around covered in mud living in a forest' and just kinda picked him by his scruff and carried him home, not really understanding that the kid he just picked up might not be a human child that needed that sort of assistance, all children bite right? like it's totally normal for them to claw at the walls of the home, begging to be released back to the wild for the first week they're inside a home? yeah. and the shiny eyes and claws are just quirks he's sure. this child is perfectly normal and meant to live among humans.

after a while tommy kinda warmed up to wil even when he didn't really understand why he had to do a lot of things, why on earth were shoes necessary anyways? the shirts and trousers he got, they were soft and made him warm in chilly night but god, shoes were his worst enemy. and wil would also develop a fondness for him, and after that they kinda began traveling together.

wil mostly saw tommy's habits as just little odd quirks, and unless it intervened with thing he deemed important he let the boy be.

but then the wars happened and wil became very strict on how tommy should act, how he made the state look bad by climbing trees and walking around barefoot getting his uniform all dirty and untidy, and tommy you have to wear the tie, don't you care what they will think of us if my right hand man won't even dress properly?

and despite all the efforts he made to understand why the things that his brother- no, his general said were important and should matter, the uniforms made his skin itch and the long depatings and peace negotiations made him miss the vague memories of the days where all he had to be was himself in the forest. at least he had tubbo, he'd never leave him.

woops, wil dies, other shit happens, tubbo becomes the president and then exiles him, leaving him, cdream's abuse makes him both regress and progress with his masking, he's never been so much of a starved animal and a obedient follower as he was now, a wild thing kicked and tortured until any form of affection got his complete trust. only for it to be blown up like everything else.

he escapes, finds a safe place, get betrayed, flees again, holes up away from everyone else, because apparently this people thing that everyone seemed to be so in on just wasn't his thing.

some people offer to try and help him, and he accepts. once again.

they say he needs closure, which sure, he'll get closure, dream's in prison now right? it'll be safe right?

one cracked skull and revival and he's proven wrong.

but is it just me or is he kinda..odd now? a boy that once couldn't stand still to save his life, now just watched in the background, with those creepy dead eyes that were nowadays covered by those bangs of his. he seemed more like a ghost than ghostbur ever was.

he just wanders around in the woods, and the claws that had been clipped short by wil now were untrimmed, I swear I saw him hunt a bunny and kill it with his hands alone one time!

he doesn't really talk to people like he used to, mostly he sticks to chatting with tubbo and cranboo, cphil's tried to talk to him, tried to apologize for how things turned out..but he doesn't really get anything back from tommy. he seems more busy with collecting bugs and skinning small rodents for their skulls to try and unpack years worth of complicated feelings towards everyone in his life, maybe things would've been better if he'd stayed in that forest of his, at least he sometimes wishes so.

[luvhughes43]

sabrina carpenter masterlist

luvhughes43 masterlist🌙

notes: jacks never beating the cheating allegations that i made up😭 ALSO! im just posting this for a reference. i might change who the fics are for

vicious | trevor zegras

summary: media girl for the ducks, trev and her start hooking up + secret relationship but he tells people it’s not true & ruins her image in the process

lyrics: "oh, you're so vicious love me then pretend you didn't, crush my heart and wreck my image, why you gotta be so vicious?"

read your mind | luke hughes

summary: Luke hughes keeps toying with u

lyrics: "you say that you need to be alone, but night and day, want me at your beck and call"

"you say you know that you might be crossing a line, wasting all our time"

tornado warning | nico hischier

summary: nico and yn can't help but keep seeing each other, even though she knows it's not the best for her.

lyrics: "don't understand how quickly we get right back in our rhythm without missing a step, and logically the last thing i should have on my mind but i want you there sometimes"

"i guess maybe thats why im lying to my therapist, i keep saying things like "i never saw him and we never kissed"

because i liked a boy | jack hughes

summary: reader gets hate comments from her ex boyfriends fans, saying she's a homewrecker and a slut, despite them already being broken up when everything went down.

lyrics: "now im a home wrecker, i'm a slut, i got death threats filling up semi trucks, tell me who i am, guess i don't have a choice, all because i liked a boy"

already over | jamie drysdale

summary: relationship thats not

lyrics: "yeah, i say, "i'm done", but i'm still confused, how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure? and i change my mind, but it's still on you, how am i supposed to leave you now that you're already over?"

nonsense | quinn hughes

summary: youre so in love with quinn your speaking nonsense ! (insta edit)

bad for my business |

summary: you know your relationship is toxic but you're in love with unknown.

lyrics:

decode | quinn hughes

summary: youre done waiting for quinn hughes. his confusion and noncommittal attitudes towards your relationship completely exhausting you.

lyrics: "i let your confusion keep me up at night, i'm so tired, re-read every single undertone and i overanalyzed it"

"where else can we go? theres nothing else left here to decode"

opposite | jack hughes

summary: a few weeks after you're break up with jack hughes, you find out he's dating someone who looks absolutely nothing like you, making you question everything.

lyrics: "she looks nothing like me, so why do you look so happy, now i think i get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite"

"oh, i know now even if i tried to change, that you'd end up with her anyway"

feather | trevor zegras

summary: you finally break up and move out from yours and trevors apartment.

lyrics: "i feel so much lighter like a feather with you out of my life"

"i slam the door, i hit ignore, i'm saying, no, no, no, no more, i got you blocked, excited to never talk"

lonesome | jack hughes

summary: after a rough break up because jack of cheating, yn thinks about how crazy the narrative change was when jack realized she wasn't who the public wanted for him.

lyrics: "tell me i was more than just a decent opportunity, or will you tell me anything i wanna hear to control how you're preceived?"

"isn't it kind of strange how it all changed when i wasn't the one they wanted you to love?"

things i wish i said | luke hughes

summary: after your bad break up with luke, youre left wishing things had gone differently.

lyrics:

[moxie-girl]

DRDT EP 13/14 ANALYSIS/THEORIES

I said I'd do this once I collected my thoughts! haha Warning! This is super long…

To start, I'm going to pick apart all the stuff I predicted for ep. 13 (I'll try not to make it too long…)

Levi's Secret

Well. Levi sure did admit to. All that! I think this eliminates any last doubts I personally had about him being the killer… (your honor just because I'm a serial killer doesn't mean I killed that specific person /ref) I really like that he isn't shown as a bad person just because he lacks empathy, and he's actually actively trying to be a good person… the fact that he just admitted his secret because he thought it was the right thing to do is so funny though, there go all my theories lol! (I'm still a little worried about rule 14 though…)

Ace's (Almost) Murder

Yeah!! This is probably what we're gonna spend episode 14 talking about, with murder method and alibis, etc. I still don't think it was Nico though! (I want to say I called that it'd be relevant, but it felt a little obvious…)

The Murder Method

I think we can say this has been all figured out, with the method being exactly what several people much smarter than me all figured out.

The Possible Culprits

Rose was still acting a little odd, but I think Whit on the other hand, despite whatever all that was, is off the hook for now, so my number 1 suspect is still Hu! I'm like 90% sure she was the one who tried to kill Ace, at least, and that's become very important now!

Secrets

Well, we got all the secrets figured out! (Hu :( ) The fandom interpretation was pretty much correct, except for Teruko's (we'll get to that later…) I do hope that after this trial, some of the secrets that are not relevant/haven't really been discussed do get adressed, because I could even see them becoming motives for murder again. But also, I just want the characters to talk about them! (gimme that juicy juicy angst…)

Ace

He didn't re-open his injury or really freak out like I expected, but we got some vulnerability (and a new sprite!) from Ace, and considering next episode is probably gonna focus a ton on him, I'm still expecting at least one of the two to happen…

Teruko

Luckily for Teruko, we didn't have anything unlucky happen to her this episode! But she sure did get her time in the protag spotlight anyway, I'm glad she didn't let the mistake from last episode get her down!

☆ ☆ ☆

Also, my bingo card! I got a bingo!! (ft. my messy tiny notes if you want to read them)

A few of my other bingo predictions I'm still going to hold on to for the next (few) episodes, but now, onto some new stuff!

Final Arei Flashback

Whoooah boy was that scene a doozy. I'm starting to think David's murderous rage towards the blackened at the start of the trial was genuine, because me too, man. I'm really glad Arei got at least a little bit of closure before she died, though! She also had an interesting take on the "good person" role, something that has been very important to this trial thus far and will likely continue to be. (I'm thinking that the killer may have had a "good person"-related motivation for killing, which is why it's the chapter's overarching theme?)

Also, to adress the elephant in the room… EDEN??? Well, no wonder Xander "didn't expect her to attack [him] like that" - and from her expression I wonder if she expected it either - I'm really looking forward to learning more about what, exactly, happened before the killing game that involved them! I didn't really believe in Mastermind!Eden before this, but it's starting to look pretty plausible... (Also Xander is the king of haunting the narrative oh my god lol)

Teruko's Secret

Many of us, myself included, were hoping/guessing/assuming that when all the secrets were figured out, David would reveal that he actually had Teruko's, not Xander's. While that didn't happen, the way he reacted after she claimed "her" secret essentially confirms it, as does a lot of other evidence:

That secret being hers would complete a secret circle of Teruko -> Rose -> Whit -> David -> Teruko and a secret pair of Xander <--> Min, which makes sense considering all other secret swaps are either circles of four or in pairs.

Xander and Min would have each other's secrets logically since neither of them can receive secrets, so theirs would probably be separated from the rest.

MonoTV's line about not knowing whether they're all correct feels like a reminder/a hint that some of the secrets are incorrect, and those two feel like the most likely options.

Teruko apparently has no idea which secret is actually hers, so may have just guessed the one that sounded more like her, except we know she never knew her parents and only had one sibling (as does Charles… I wonder if he'll notice)

EDIT: I cant believe I almost forgot, but I feel like David’s attitude towards Xander (and Teruko) makes more sense with these secrets, because why would he idolize Xander if the killing game was his fault, but he would idolize him if he thought Xander was trying to end the killing game by killing Teruko, the person David now thinks/knows is at fault.

However, since David didn't claim out loud that Teruko was lying, it's likely that this piece of information will become relevant much later in the series, and he'll be keeping it to himself for now.

Veronika and Hu

When did Veronika and Hu make their pact? And how did Hu, presumably the one who wanted to make the pact, know that Veronika had her secret? Also, what on earth do you mean, Veronika, that your secret isn't the worst thing you've done???? This little section with the two of them could just be entirely innocent and a way for the dev to get the rest of the secrets on the board, and let Veronika be a little unhinged as she tends to be, but I get the feeling at least some of this is relevant. (I'm betting on either Accomplice!Veronika or Veronika's actual "worst thing" being important to a later trial…)

David

Ohhhhh, David. I feel like Veronika with how much I want to psychoalanize this guy. He is on the verge of a breakdown, and I can feel it! The question being, of course, whether Arei's death was enough to make it happen this chapter, or whether this is something that's gonna last another chapter or two before coming to a head. My money's on the second option, because I think this trial is about to be about Ace and his impending breakdown :)

I do hope after this trial we do get to see a little more of what David's actually like beyond his facades/the roles he's been playing! Also, as much as I'd like to see David survive and have to deal with the consequences of revealing his "true" personality on live television, I think it's more likely he'll go the way of DR antags trying to end the killing game via self-sacrifice.

(We also better keep a close eye on anyone who tries to befriend or help David in Ch3, because they're gonna die next! /j)

J's Morality

This is a short one, but I just wanted to comment on another analysis I saw point out that J has been one of the most vocal people anytime murder has been brought up. I think that behind her rougher personality, J is a more empathetic person, and/or has very strong morals, making her a narrative foil to Levi now, so I do hope the two of them interact in Ch3!

Whit??

Whit. Whit why do you know so much about hanging??? Being serious though, I saw someone else bring up that his mother might have died by hanging and he researched it afterwards as a coping mechanism or something? That's the saddest possible explanation, but it does make the most sense by far… I honestly don't think that Whit is the killer, because then why would he be being so helpful in figuring out the murder method, but he's still so weird and suspicious sometimes.

Nico!

Even though I still don't think it was Nico (crime scene makes more sense if seen as Nico trying to help Ace, they may have just admitted to it because it was the less confrontational option, next ep is def not the last one and I think it'll be about proving who it was other than Nico, and if you look at Nico's secret quote…) I still do hope they get the chance to get mad! Get mad at Ace! Get mad at David! Get mad at whoever the (attempted) killer was for putting the blame on them! Idk I just want them to have their moment.

☆ ☆ ☆

And finally, here are my new bingo cards for the next episode:

(I can't believe ep14 is gonna be 40 mins + there's a "non-spoiler" thumbnail rn oooooh I'm so nervous)

[izzysillyhandsy]

How I learned to stop being angry and love the Death Scene (for now)

This may be a controversial take, but I've come to the conclusion that Izzy's death scene maybe wasn't badly written after all.

There is one big aspect of this scene that I really love: it was 100% in character for Izzy AND Ed (and everyone else too) at that point in their story.

BUT it only works if we are not expected to believe that 1. this was in any way a happy ending for any of them and 2. that this arc is finished.

If Izzy stays dead permanently, his death and the way it happened, what was said and notably what wasn't, was tragic for everyone involved - especially Ed - and we should feel bad about it. This isn't an uplifting scene of closure for either Izzy or Ed, and it is totally understandable that most Izzy fans were crushed by it (and Ed fans, even those who don't like Izzy, should be too!).

If there is no possibility that anyone, in any way, can talk to Izzy ever again and (in Ed's case) clean up the mess between them - then this is not a comedy any more. It's a tragedy. And it should be treated as such by the show and the creators (and this might be where disappointment lies waiting).

The death scene by itself though was fitting, if we look at where Ed and Izzy are on their character arcs at the end of S2. It played out exactly as I'd have expected.

Izzy - All about Eddie

The main problem I (and many others) had with Izzy's death scene is that it is all about Ed.

Izzy is apologizing for everything that happened, including Ed cutting his fuckin' leg off. He is reassuring Ed that he wants to go, it's ok, no need to be sad. He encourages Ed to be soft, emotional, himself. He tells him that his biggest fear, being unloveable to anyone except Izzy, isn't real - he has a family now.

And, now that I've had time to think about it, I realized: YES this is exactly what Izzy would do.

All of S2 was about Izzy breaking the chain, but until the end it was still all about Ed for him (because it's not as easy as cutting off a rotten leg, unfortunately). Izzy would make his last moments about Ed, trying to do as much good as possible in the short time he had left. Or, trying to undo as much of what he thought he'd done wrong.

And I really don't want to take away from Izzy's accomplishments and character growth in S2. He'd come so far already! After years and years of singleminded devotion and love he'd finally realized that their form of entanglement was destructive.

Izzy broke up with Ed in Ep2 - and it almost killed him both of them. He started to look for meaning outside of his relationship with Ed, rediscovering aspects of himself that had long been buried and forgotten. He began, tentatively, to form bonds to members of the crew and put himself out there, away from Ed's side, away from being Ed's voice and Ed's hands, ruled by Ed's emotions.

But there wasn't enough time: still, everything he did was, in one way or another, at least partly about Ed.

Whittling - a Blackbeard metaphor Training Stede - "What did he say about me specifically" La vie en rose - a love song about "the one" and promises for life Hiya boys - oh my god he's trying so hard here but this is killing him, isn't it Bonding with Stede at Jackie's - "He's a complicated man" The Ricky monologue - so much passion behind every word, not getting what you want, letting go of ego for something larger - the whole speech was (at least partly) about Ed

(I believe the first Ricky monologue about belonging is more about Ed than the crew and I know this is not a popular take. Still, for me it makes sense because this is how Izzy felt for decades. I don't think he has shaken that mindset yet - give up your ego, your own dreams and personality for something larger - Ed&Izzy or Blackbeard. When he says "he crew" it feels like a bit of an afterthought - there is a pause.)

So, at the end of S2, Izzy is not over Ed at all - he's deeply hurt, feels incredibly guilty (unreasonably so!) and is repressing a lot of what happened.

He's still so entangled with Ed - if this is his last chance to make things right, he will.

And as much as I would have loved seeing Izzy dying surrounded by his loving family, he wasn't there yet. Not as long as Ed was around. And I think the crew understood. They understood Izzy more then he understood himself at one point ("You're in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard"). They understood what he was going through, and they gave him space to say goodbye to the man he had loved for his whole life.

Izzy died how he lived - all wrapped up in Eddie. And at this point in his life, I wouldn't have expected anything else.

Ed - All about us, you and Me

I love the symbolism of these 2 frames - while Izzy's bloody hand is entangled in Ed's hair until death (and beyond), Ed's bloody hand is putting a distance between Izzy and everyone else but himself.

I wonder how Ed would have taken it if it had been the other way round - if Izzy had found himself a Stede at the start of S1.

I think not well is an understatement.

Even though Ed seems constantly annoyed by Izzy in S1 (and violently destructive towards him in S2), at no point did I get the impression that he actually wanted Izzy to leave, for Izzy to love him less intently or be less devoted.

But, it wasn't very much about Izzy as a person, or Izzy's happiness, or their shared happiness anymore. I think Ed saw himself and Izzy as "together forever, us two against the world", but without putting any work in or pausing to think how Izzy was actually feeling (and I am 100% sure that Ed knew how much Izzy loved him and how little love he got in return).

But being with Izzy was Ed's whole life, they were two halves of the same whole, and Ed even kinda expected Izzy to stay around after he fell in love with Stede ("We could have worked this out!") and didn't really think about how this never, ever could have worked out for the kind of relationship they were having (this is how Steddyhands... was so compelling actually).

So is it any wonder that, in Izzy's last moments on earth, Ed wants to have him all to himself? He sends Stede away. He signals the crew to stay (waaayy) back. He cradles Izzy in his arms, his back to the crew and everyone else who loved him.

And although, at the start, he tries to get a word in (to apologize back, to tell him he's forgiven) - Izzy dies without hearing anything that wasn't directly related to Ed and Ed's feelings.

Ed never tells him he loves him. He doesn't tell him how much Izzy will be missed for himself and not for what he could do for Ed. How important he was to Ed all those years.

The only thing Izzy gets from Ed before he dies is "You can't go. You can't leave me. Please! You're my only family."

What will happen to Ed? You can't do this to Ed! Ed has noone else! And as sad as this is, it is in character for him at this point in his life.

Ed is fundamentally a very self-centered (and self-hating) person, and his journey towards change had just begun with his death and rebirth. And just like Izzy, he would have needed much more time to grow (although Izzy'd gotten much, much further than Ed).

At Calypso's birthday, I think for the first time in forever, Ed saw Izzy as his own person, someone who he could actually love apart from this Ed-Izzy union they had going for so long. But only a few days (I guess?) later, Izzy dies.

So, at the end of S2, Ed still sees Izzy as "his" to a degree, sees him as one half of "us". He almost expects Izzy's last words to be about him (or them) and doesn't yet see Izzy as his own person, with his own feelings and ties to other people who might have wanted to say goodbye as well.

For Ed, Izzy died how he lived - wrapped up in Ed and Ed keeping everyone else away. Talking about himself only in relation to Ed. Izzy as a part of Ed that's vital and needed - but not itself in need of words of solace or other people's love (or any love, period).

Conclusion

At this point in Ed's and Izzy's life, the death scene and how it was written/acted is perfect, in my opinion. But for the characters, it's incredibly tragic.

Izzy never got what he wanted most - Ed's love. He died believing almost his whole life was a mistake, keeping Ed from his true self for far too long and destroying him in the process. In the end, the crew who had unconditionally loved and accepted him, stood at a distance, and the man he still loved over anyone and anything else never told Izzy what he meant to him - and now he never will.

Ed was absolved of his guilt and maybe, in the moment, he even believed it. But of course everything that happened in S2, and everything before that, wasn't (only) Izzy's fault and in the future, Ed has to deal with that. Only now there is no Izzy here to work it through with, and to make amends, no one who was there for it all and who knows parts of Ed best. When Ed finally realizes what Izzy meant to him, it will be too late.

So, if we get a S3 and nothing is ever made of all of this, if Izzy is really dead and the Ed/Izzy dynamic is done and dealt with, then it was bad writing (and I am so afraid that will actually happen).

But as it stands, I'm beginning to love the scene for what it is: a tragic, consistent ending for two characters that I love deeply.

But please don't tell me this was a kind ending.

[shenlis-spear]

THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI 与凤行, 2024

⇢ starring: zhao liying, lin gengxin

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. (I'm talking about The Legend of Shen Li)

Let me preface this by saying I'm biased. And it's been a million years since I tried to put my thoughts into writing so this is gonna be all over the place and long-winded. And probably wouldn't make any sense. So here it goes.

I really enjoyed The Legend of Shen Li. Do I love it? With all my charred heart. Do I think it's the best drama this year? It's still April. It's hard to say. Are Shen Li and Xing Zhi the best power couple? This shouldn't even be a debate.

Honestly, I didn't even plan to chase this drama while it's ongoing because I binge watching drama is what I enjoy best. However, I was bored. And The Legend of Shen Li's trailer looked interesting. And my heart still needs healing from the mess of an ending that is Princess Agents. I needed closure. So I started watching the drama, and boy oh boy did it drag me down one hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions every single night. (No, I'm not complaining.)

However, before I talk about the things that I really loved about the drama, I have some things to say about the stuff that kind of irked me. Because no drama is perfect (unless it's Nirvana in Fire).

So let me get started on the things that I feel like the drama could've done better.

Musical scoring - the OST's? Chef's kiss. However, they way they're putting music on the scenes are a hit and miss. Most of the time it just distracts me from the scene and I just get bored with the mv-ish scene. I wish cdramas especially custom ones would stop this. I don't need 5 mins of the leads staring at each other in all angles accompanied by a really nice song. I'm here to watch a drama. Although, I kinda did get used to it in the latter episodes (specifically ep35-38) because I definitely needed a minute or two to process the emotions.

The progression of the story - One thing. I'm confused. Not to the point that "I don't understand the plot confusing" but still confusing nonetheless. There was no consistency in the scenes and the dialogues. (Ex fishing village). There was no flow. I feel like someone messed up the storyboard and when they edited the scenes they were also confused. Or maybe this is the issue of the translation of the dialogue? I don't even know. Still, I definitely think this part could've been done better.

The internal monologues - sigh when I said the thing I love most in dramas are their dialogues I don't mean what's happening in The Legend of Shen Li. The characters just talk (or think?) too damn much I can't keep up. They're supposed to be the characters whom their actions should tell the story but the way they're narrating the whole plot to me is just so jarring. Am I watching a drama or listening to an audiobook? Sometimes I can't tell. I wish they'd tone it down but it just got worse with the later episodes.

The camera - this is just me being nitpicky but there are some random camera angles especially the spinning ones that probably is supposed to make the scene dramatic but all it did was make me wanna vomit.

This is not in any way, shape, or form hating on the drama because I genuinely enjoyed it. I've deluded myself into waiting for a Princess Agents S2 but I got a better deal and had Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin to reunite in a new project which is better in my opinion because Princess Agents is a hot mess. There was really no saving that one.

So moving on to the things I like! But like, where do I even start?

First of all, Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin. Chemistry so good, they had to be casted in another drama. Everything about them was just so perfect for the drama and the role. Could not ask for a more perfect casting than them. The 7 year wait was almost worth it.

The WOMEN! - so much room for improvement regarding the characters but I loved that the women were not treated as damsels who always needed saving. I have to say 5 1/2 braincells were working throughout the drama, 2 from Shen Li, 1 from You Lan, 1 from Jin Niang Zi and 1 from Shen Mu Yue (1/2 from Xing Zhi because he's too unbothered if it's not related to Shen Li).

Shen Li - might not be the best female character in cdramaland but I think she can hold her own place. She's stubborn, a bit reckless but she's loyal and righteous. She's a strong woman without being a stereotypical cold and ruthless strong woman. Shen Li is a strong woman at the same time also a mad woman in love. She does not have to be one or the other. The more I write this the more I'm falling in love with her character. You just don't find a character like her. She is Shen Li. A capable general. A strong leader. An empathetic comrade. A respectful student. A woman in love. She is not just one of them but all of them.

Lin Gengxin is pretty believable playing as an ancient god. He has that air around him that screams your highness. He played the lofty and aloof Xing Zhi to perfection.

And what can I even say about Zhao Liying? As always miss ma'am played Shen Li perfectly. Whimsical, stubborn, in love and devasted in love, you can feel all those emotions just watching her eyes.

It has angst but not too much that we as viewers would spend multiple episodes pulling out hair of frustration about the misunderstandings and accidental killings. (Not a shade to any specific drama but just to the xanxia genre in general). It has the perfect balance of angst, romance and comedy. You laugh, cry and giggle all in one episode. The comic relief scenes are naturally funny and doesn't feel forced. Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin's comedic timing are 👌.

The conflict was handled maturely and the confession was direct but still heart fluttering. Throughout the drama, they both got their heads perfectly placed on their shoulders.

The last episode! Let us talk about the last episode because when has a drama provided that kind of fan service just making one whole episode of shenanigans and fluff. After going through the angst, the reward that is the last episode is just too good and definitely worth all the tears.

Also, can we talk about Dong Jie's guest role? I know miss ma'am is good but when I tell you I cried for a minute because of her story arc? Just hands up and mic drop. So so good!

Now that all of these are out of my system, hopefully I can move on to the next obsession, whatever that may be. I'll still probably watch episode 39 on a daily basis though. It's just too enjoyable and it makes my day. Will probably, revisit this "review" in the future and update it because I'm aware that at this point it's not making a lot of sense.

RATING: 9/10 REWATCH VALUE: 10/10 definitely would watch again! ACTING: 10/10 CATEGORY: GUILTY PLEASURE

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Day 7

Sky(loft)

*throws rose* For the First lovers.

Soft and sweet drabble with just the barest hints of tragedy, and more set on Skyloft than anything but I'd say it counts.

This chapter was brought to you by me getting emotional about the First Hero and his fate again due to the rain, the fact I believe all Links deserve to have love and appreciation but specially him. And the fact I think it's an absolute CRIME that we don't get anything more on him and that he and Sky don't get to have what Time and Twilight have, no I'm not bitter Nintendo I just want to talk, y'all can't just keep giving us like four Links before the actual heroes and then expect us NOT to want to elaborate with the crumbs we are given. If you ask me First and Sky deserve to interact and for First to have closure.

Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, up to y'all, and can be read in or outside and LU context, I just use Sky and First for simplicities sake but if you don't gel with LU then feel free to interpret this as something else, this is all highly self indulgent before I pass the heck out lol

If there was any place in Sky’s Hyrule that you could confidently say you adored with all of your heart and soul, Skyloft would be the most likely pick.

Even so high above it all in a way that would have you catastrophizing had you think too hard about what could happen if anyone ever accidentally fell from the isle even with all of the knights trained to not allow that to happen, you’d be lying if you said that it’s a wondrous mix of empyreal beauty and the comfort of safety and the wonder of touching the sky, a true breath taking haven that could soften even the hardest of hearts with time. Fitting of the warmth of the reincarnated goddess in Sun and the vast nature of Sky’s kindness, for all you knew he could be as frigid as the title of Godslayer demanded.

Looking at the way First let himself be tugged along the isle as soon as they’ve arrived in Sky’s land in a tour just reinforced that notion, you couldn’t help but chuckle a little. First was one of the harder Links to read, even more so than Time or Warriors, but looking at the way the stars of his azure eyes brightened with the fire of life hearing Sky talk about life in his home and about the many people made you feel so, so warm, like finding a nice sunny spot for a afternoon nap.

What could you say? First was such a wondrous person, calm and charming and perfectly polite and oh so kind in the way you knew all of your boys were. If there ever was someone who embodied chivalry and the ideal side of knighthood, he’d probably be the one to come to the forefront of your mind, and you’ve been insatiable for his happiness ever since.

When he first arrived to the Chain, he was as cold as the howling blizzard winds, heart a cold fort left in ruin and remade as best as a single man could for the sake of remaining kind, to do the right thing no matter what, it was a sentiment you knew far too well in your other boys, but specially so in First, who tried so, so hard to distance himself from getting attached. But who you knew loved the sight of the sky, as cold and numb it was in it’s distance, whom cared so so much he would driven himself into an early grave just to make the Surface a safer for the people who’d shunned him, whom after a long, long period of adjustment and effort from the Chain, allowed you to hold him close as he shaked from nightmares at night, allowing you to chase away memories of being held up by cold chains until the impression of them became one with his skin and subconscious, of being entombed and imprisoned in uncaring stone and iron to starve alone, being bitten at by hungry, crawling rats all because he wished to keep his people safe, made sure he could tell that your presence was tangible and real through telling stories from your world and singing him into dreams even through the fortress’s that was his stubborness. Trying your best to make lilies bloom on what looked like a most hopeless winter.

The day he actually chuckled and smiled, safe and healthy and alive in the presence of the Chain felt like the biggest victory you’d ever had.

He deserved to know love and to be loved as much as any of your boys, something real and tangible and that was actually properly reciprocated rather than used to justify an end. So seeing him being able to visit Skyloft with his descendant with a whispering, hidden smile was more than enough for you. And you can’t blame Sky for being equally animated about it, bless his heart, always wanting his people to be happy, always so, so kind, wanting to bring some solace to the older hero but being carefully attentive so his mood was still good

After all they went through they deserved it.

“Oh! There you are, I was just about to show First to the waterfall, want to come with?”, Sky snaps you out from your thoughts, touching your shoulder with a gentle smile.

“Unless something is ailing you, you did look quite deeply in though.”, added First, soft as the warm breeze on the isle in the sky.

You shake your head, smiling as you take First’s offered arm, an instinctive motion when he wished to be close but wasn’t quite ready for any other touch yet, and Sky’s hand in yours, which he swings with a hum, ears twitching, how precious. “Not at all, lead the way.”

As Sky leads you along, and you catch the ghost of a smile in First’s otherwise stern countenance and you take in the warmth of the late afternoon sun in Skyloft and the soft, eternal spring breeze. You think there’s quite a bit you’d give to keep witnessing these moments indeed.

The road to recovery was long and arduous, but you’d be there, and you knew the Chain would do their best to be there too.

[makingmeagirlwithluv]

BTS MEMBERS AS ANGSTY LOVE SONG LYRICS AND WHY YOU WOULD BREAK UP

Author disclaimer: This is just for fun! I'm sure all the boys are lovely in their personal relationships. I just want to feel angsty!

Warnings: Angst, swearing, PG, but my blog is 18 plus so MINORS DNI.

Kim Namjoon:

"I'm bein' a cool girl, I'm keepin' it so tight"

"I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright

I'm not feelin' human, I think he's a good guy"

Complex by Katie Gregson-MacLeod

Not sure if yall were ever dating officially :(

He's brilliant and wonderful but he can't make time for you in his head or his heart.

Thinks you're lovely and sweet and enjoys spending time with you but would not claim you.

You try harder to get his attention than you do caring for yourself. It's just not gone work I'm so sorry

Park Jimin:

"I know heaven's a thing

I go there when you touch me

Honey hell is when I fight with you"

False God by Taylor Swift

Absolutely devastating arguments lead to the breakup.

Jimin isn't a yeller but he can be so cruel when he's heated. And he doesn't take back anything he says even if he knows it hurts your feelings.

Will not talk to you for days on end if you don't apologize first.

Ultimately the anxiety you felt every time you disagreed on something was not worth it in the end. You break up and speak when you run into each other but don't date again.

Kim Seokjin

"'Cause I know we said we'd just be friends

I can't lie and I can't pretend

Boy, I've tried and bottom line is

I still love you and I hate this"

I hate this- Tenille Arts

He broke up with you cause he liked you more as a friend and wanted to do his own thing.

You are not handling it well.

You keep making up reasons to talk to him seeking some form of closure an he's so gentle he keeps talking it through with you because he does care about you.

Sadly as much as you love him and think he's your forever he does not feel that way about you.

Jeong Jung Kook

"Cause you're so pretty

When you smile, it kills me,

You're the only person left, so hold me

Don't leave me"

Ur So Pretty- Wasia Project

Anxious attachment style on both ends oh my gosh!

You were both so nervous about fucking things up and losing each other yall wouldn't let each other breathe like.

Lots of jealousy on both ends.

Relationship kind of imploded on itself.

Maybe some therapy would have helped but then again maybe not.

You two have an on and off thing for like a year before agreeing you're better off as friends.

Min Yoongi:

"And it's true

I tend to follow in his stride

Instead of side by side

I take his cue"

A part of that- The last five years

You just kind of lost yourself in him?

It's easy to fall into the world of min yoongi but your sense of individuality slowly fell away.

You looked up one day and your world was only him and it wasn't his fault but you had to find you again.

The breakup was amicable and you're still friends to an extent. You don't date again for a few years after him as you spend that time rediscovering yourself.

Jung Hoseok

"But when you walked out that door

A piece of me died

I told you I wanted more

But that's not what I had in mind

I just want it like before

We were dancin' all night"

Blue Jeans- Lana del Rey

Hobis ambition is not something you or anyone can get in the way of.

He loves you but he loves success a little more.

Long nights at the studio missed anniversaries long stints of no communicatom became the norm. You tried desperately to act like being second place in his life didn't bother you

But it did. And one day you walked out of his life and never looked back. One week without communication became 3 became months became a year.

It sucks that it fizzled out but you learned to date only people who had time for you.

Kim Taehyung

"I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile

Sorry to say that you pushed this sweet guy away,friend.

So good to me, so right...But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't"

Back to December- Taylor swift

You had a lot of shit going on and you liked Tay but he always felt in the way even when he was just trying to love you.

You dumped him pretty abruptly, and he was pretty hurt and even asked you to reconsider a few times, but he eventually moved on.

After healing the parts of yourself that was not ready for a man like him you decide you'd love to try again.

He's already moved on though. Sometimes timing and life is funny like that.

You learn to be happy for him after being miserable for a while and eventually you love again.

And that's it! Let me know if you liked these and if you want more boys as song lyrics or head canons. Make sure to follow me for bts fan fic/ head cannons

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? 😏” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..

[shamrock313]

Heyy so I heard alot of buzz this weekend about Monsters-Menedez brothers. Did you get to check it out? My brother watched it and basically said he followed the trial in real time, and not a lot of that stuff Ryan put into the show was true. I didn’t see the first season, but I’m definitely going to start it this week.

Also did you see how it already got renewed for a third season and Ed Gein will Charlie Hunnam. Some one said watch season 4 be John Wayne Gacy played by Jacob Elordi 😭

But I did start watching Bel Air, it’s really good! That whole cast is perfect and beautiful!

Also I think I might have a bit of a crush on Charlie Hall

I'm currently on episode 7. It's okay. Like I'm in agreement with your brother its very different. Before watching, I found a documentary about the case on Tubi and it was interesting. I feel like a lot of people should do that first (if they haven't already) and then watch the series. I plan on finishing it and then watching another documentary and reading up on what was fact and fiction.

I was planning on watching something cute and and I was like "Oh I should watch Fleabag" until I remembered the heartache from THE PRIEST

I read the letter Erik wrote to Ryan Murphy, which makes me a lil uncomfortable for what is to come for when Charlie Hunnam playing Ed Gain. Speaking of Gain, I went to Zak Bagans Haunted Museum and can say that was the creepiest room for me. The second room I didn't like was the prison room that was filled with Gacy, Bundy, Manson, and he who must not be named items.

I see that they have a (well I don't think it's Ryan, I think it's his collaborator) doing the Aaron Hernandez Story.

I wish they would discuss cases that are not talked about or unsolved such as:

West Memphis Three

The Survivors of Anthony Sowell (There's a 2016 documentary about it)

William Bradford and the Unidentified Models

Sam Little (that asshole)

Gary Heidnik (another crazy mf)

Freeway Phantom

The Oklahoma Girl Scouts

The Disappearance of Johnny Gosch

Fox Hollow Farm

Dominique Dunn and Rebecca Schaeffer

The Stayner brothers

Danny Rolling

As ya'll can see I'm a true crime girly. I know @theloverscardtarot is gonna be like "Don't forget Villisca!" I have more cases that should be discussed due to lack of evidence, victims being poc, sex workers, being apart of the LGBTQ+ community, stalking, trauma, and survival.

I get that Ryan is doing the ones who are generally known, but give light to the victims who are unidentified. Give light to the survivors who can tell their story. Help the cases be brought back to life and can potentially give family closure or a new set of eyes to look at the cases.

I think by the time I'm done, I might need a Schitt's Creek marathon so I can see Noah Reid

Also I watched Terrifer for the first time! I need to find the other Terrifer movies!

Glad you like Bel Air! I haven't watch it. I don't think I'm going too, but Charlie looks like his mom. For those who don't know his mom is the woman off Seinfield basically he's a nepo boy. Very well off family. Not dragging him, just giving facts lol

[jamisafan]

Okay, it's time for my thoughts on Dragons Rising part 2. (This is super long by the way.)

(Spoilers below the cut.)

I'll get into my Cole rant in a bit because, oh boy, do I have things to say. But Soras story feels too important to leave for last.

Sora's story can reach out to so many different people that have issues with their parents and that kids really don't owe their parents anything. Sora is one of THE BEST role models I've ever seen in a cartoon. The fact that all her problems still weren't solved when she cut contact with her parents is realistic. The fact that they didn't give her parents a redemption was satisfying. And her just actually coming to the conclusion that she doesn't need to have her biological family in her life was beautiful. You are able to choose your family, and Sora showed that perfectly. Her character is amazing, and I don't even have the words to describe how absolutely beautiful her character is. She is perfect, and it makes me all emotional and stuff. I love her 😢

Arin has so much potential, and I think his whole spinjitzu thing is super important and cool. I think he'll get the MK treatment, maybe get thrown into an identity crisis, the works. Maybe he has a whole chosen one thing like Lloyd, who knows. All I know is that I love him and his little fan boy heart.

Kai and WyldFyres relationship is so great. I love seeing how far Kai has come and him referencing Nya becoming the ocean and how Master Wu helped him work through his emotions. This was exactly what the show needed. And having Kai be WyldFyres mentor was a fantastic choice because they are seriously alike in many way. Their struggle with not being patient and their hot headedness just gives me life. Kai has a freaking kid, and there little reunion hug was so freaking cute oh my god!!!!

I felt like Nya should have had a worse reaction to seeing a Djinn again. She was definitely traumatized from that, but maybe this was also some good closure for her, seeing that not all Djinn are evil creepy monsters. Nya and Soras' relationship is cool, too

Zane needs some more done with him. I need them to address the weird egg thing he hatched out of, but hopefully, it will be resolved soon. I think Zane got pushed to the side a bit, and it felt like he was jumping everywhere (like, he was just, at the administration? I know he got in trouble for portal stuff, but..... yeah). I'm sure he will get something eventually.

Lloyd is someone I never know how to talk about because he's just such a main character that it makes him less interesting to me. Don't get me wrong I love him, and him working on becoming the master of the monetary is cool and stuff. But he still needs a form of closure from past seasons, especially with garmadon. Unless they never bring him back then that's chill. I love garmadon but he always causes so much problems. Lloyd is learning how to be a good teacher though and that's really sweet.

Jay is a sassy shit Manger, and I love it. Can't wait to see more with him.

And Cole........ Cole is perfect in everything single way, and no one can deny that. Like actually, if someone doesn't like Cole from Ninjago, that's a red flag. He ended up in the place of lost things. THATS PERFECT FOR HIM! Cole Who almost got forgotten by everyone he loves, who literally ran away from home. It's perfect! He's perfect! He's the best! I love him! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! And now he's going on his own mission to follow Master Wus voice and figure out why the earth is screaming?!?!? God I love him. He's the best 😢

Also, I've had thoughts and ideas about Cole hearing the earth screaming, and I'm SUPER curious to see what that means.

Okay, now that I've ranted about how perfect Cole is...... I need to say it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Them.

I already made a post about this but I'll never get over how perfect they are. It felt borderline canon.

People are talking about how Cole just straight up left him to chase master Wu, but I'm positive that Cole either talked to the others beforehand or right after leaving Nya about it. About how he would totally come back for them and figure out some way for them to leave the land of lost things and get in all those good tearful see you laters.

If Geo doesn't come back I will fucking riot. And I'm not one to swear super often. Mostly for dramatic effect. So you know I'm serious. Geo and Cole left me feeling high for days. I need them in my life. They can't just introduce new characters and then LEAVE THEM!!?!?!!?!!!?

Anyways, my full ale thought on Dragons Rising.

It was good. It felt risky at first to add all these new characters, especially main ones but they did it perfectly. I love me a well paced story that doesn't feel like it's going to fast or slow. Beatrix's story is very interesting but I'm still super excited to see what happens with my boy Lord Ras. He's just so cool and evil and stuff :D I wonder who his boss is?

The show felt somewhat nostalgic but also super fresh and the writing was good.

Also

Does anyone know what this symbol is? I can't tell if this is new or if I'm just stupid and it's been there before. Sorry if it's a dumb question.

[cordeliaandthecocoapuffs]

hii cordelia i just finished reading august (nico's version ) and i loved it sm but i cant help but wonder what you think of tsats so can you please give your review on the book :)

hello thank you i'm so happy you liked the fic!!! <3

as for TSATS: i have to say that overall i'm not a fan but that isn't to say that there aren't some positive aspects! a lot of the reasons i didn't like it are more subjective but i do think there are a couple of issues that are, objectively, examples of bad writing or actively harmful ideas.

first off the 'big issues' that i had:

the pacing of the book overall and the lack of danger that it felt like nico and will were in...really disappointing. how are you going to write a book about a quest to tartarus, the most dangerous place for any demigod, and the actual quest in tartarus is less than half of the book and they never actually seem to be at risk of dying? i know there were some moments where it got a little prickly but it just never felt like high-stakes to me, especially when you compare it to the other instance of tartarus we've had.

the coming out scene. oh boy. this is what i'm talking about when i say actively harmful. i'm sure it wasn't meant to be this way, but it feeds into a lot of very icky tropes about how gay people have to be proudly out and loudly declaring their sexualities and be like...a 'paragon' of homosexuality in order to be valid and set an example for other people. it also put will in a strange position and while i don't think that he was forcibly outed, per se, it's definitely not a happy situation where he could 100% make the decision for himself and that's how it always should be. i was honestly shocked that an LBGT+ author would write something like this and see it as a happy positive scene.

not quite as bad but still something i find very weird was the scene retelling solangelo's first kiss. that should either have been excluded entirely or expanded upon more because as it's written, it sounds a lot like nico was in the worst mental state of his life and will just decided to try to make him feel better by kissing him as a surprise. it made me feel really uncomfortable to read because in that moment of being incredibly upset (and from the way it was described in ToA, nico was not really with it) nico wasn't able to give consent. if they'd kissed before and it was an established way of offering comfort that's one (still a little bit dodgy without context) thing, but as a first kiss? ew

the dream scene. firstly, bianca was reborn, and the explanation of "an exception was made!" does NOT cut it. it's also highly disrespectful to her character. she specifically avoided nico when he tried to summon her because she was scared he'd bring her back to life. she wanted rebirth, and she chose it, and then they yanked her back? gross, tbh. additionally, it gave hades a shield. he hid behind maria and bianca when he should have been the one apologising. it could have been such a meaningful scene with hades saying he's sorry for how things went and how he treated nico, but nope. additionally, it undid a whole boatload of nico's character development. he is about struggling through grief and resolving trauma and finding his own closure and to just throw in his dead mother and sister...it cheapened all of that.

and now the more nitpicky/subjective things!

the characterisation was just...off. not because nico was happy or because will was anxious - i was actually happy to see that! - but just in a lot of the little actions. for example, nico's lack of respect for the dead, and also just the general way they talked. it didn't feel like their character voices to me.

a lot of the times that the two of them argued it didn't feel like it got resolved. i understand and accept that they're down in tartarus, it's warping their emotions, very stressful, etc., but it never felt like they actually sorted any of their issues out to me.

the lack of characters like hazel and reyna...like some of the people most important to nico were only mentioned as a passing thought yet characters like dakota and connor were so randomly shoehorned in just so readers would go 'omg reference'...like make it meaningful if you're going to do that, please.

the way that percabeth were, again, shoehorned in. it stood out as a really jarring section to me. sure, they've been to tartarus before, sure, but so has nico, and his whole reasoning of 'they went as a couple they can offer advice for us' was really weak imo.

the quote "he'd always been known as the demigod who wouldn't eat. Why had he let himself get to the point of starvation over and over again?" maybe because he had an eating disorder caused by incredible trauma. why is the book trying to make it sound like he was just being silly and stubborn when he has severe PTSD. this irked me so badly.

the fact that the book disregarded not only the canon of the other books (not an entirely new thing for this series, admittedly, but still annoying) but also itself. it genuinely contradicts itself. who was editing. who was doing the final checks. why did nobody notice that nico called himself the son of bianca di angelo until it was published. come on guys.

i could tell in quite a few places where rick had written one paragraph and then mark had written the next. the transition between the two was sometimes really obvious and could be really jarring!

these are VERY small nitpicky things even within the 'small nitpicky things' category but why did nico keep shortening 'pomegranate' to 'pom' and how does nico know about the dam jokes and why are there so many modern references when this book is set in like...2011? (i know the books are meant to be anachronistic technically but rick obliterated that when he had nico specifically mention the time he's from followed by frank thinking that nico is seventy years older than him. there is now a timeline, richard.)

okay that is a LOT of negative points and tbh i stand by them but like i said, i know that most of them are subjective so if people disagree then that's cool! those are just my honest opinions BUT also, there are some great moments that i'd like to highlight:

will being given a cheese hat and resignedly accepting said cheese hat

the non-binary trog (screech-bling? i can't quite remember and i don't have a copy of the book on hand rn) who has an intensely obvious crush on will. absolutely beautiful.

some of the lines in the book (especially the dialogue) are genuinely quite funny (again i'm blanking on most of the specifics but i remember reading a few and thinking 'oh good some moments of happiness in the gaping black abyss of this book') however i do recall will trying to speak trog and accidentally threatening to eat them or something. also beautiful.

however overall...i'd give the book a 3/10. i would give it much higher if it didn't have the glaring issues i mentioned first. i think without those i'd give it a solid 6 or 7!

[bengiyo]

Step By Step Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week on HR Violations, Chot got Pat together about respecting people's feelings, and then received news that his fiancé is finally taking him home to see the parents after eight years in a beautiful scene worthy of Bruce. Pat confessed to Jeng with a gross carrot cake, but Jeng was checked out of most responsibility all episode. Rumors started to already at work, Jeng waffled, and now Pat has resigned. Also, Ae and Khanun got married, and she gave Beam closure.

See, and this is why I felt the need to write last week. Rumors about Jeng end with him cornered in a meeting where executives tear him apart as his dad looks on. Even rumors that he's queer have cost this company money.

This is gross. They're worried about Fjord, who just hired them to use BL to sell their gas stations. This is what we're talking about with the underlying commentary in this show. The wealth class only wants marketable gays. Jeng is not allowed to be gay because of his position.

Jeng's dad has always known.

Not them using the gate as a barrier!!

It does make me really sad that Jeng has to admit that he can't protect Pat from any of this, because his judgement has been clouded. It's also sad that Pat had to do something drastic to force them to face this situation.

Oh, the hands fiends are gonna lose their minds this week.

Crying because they're all finally a team and Pat and Jeng aren't alone. Chot said, "Don't look at me like that. They have eyes!"

Oh my god a SWOT analysis.

So Put posted that picture huh?

Why does everyone have these loud conversations with the doors open?

I'm glad Pat finally handled Put, because dude needs to do his goddamn job.

SPIES AND THIEVES!!! Toh was the traitor all along!

We called it on Jeng holding the duties of heir so Jaab wouldn't be required to.

Ben and Saint have good scene chemistry.

Time for an Oishii ad break.

Okay, I love the office team. I don't mind Ying being a BL writer at all. I am enjoying everyone yelling.

Put and his conditions.

Hey, Put came through for them!

These hoes ain't loyal! Jeng bought their loyalty from Pat with a single meal!!!

Ope. Jen went all the way to Japan. The disappointments keep on coming.

Pat, that is clearly your father in a bad wig. What are you going to do with a broom?

We don't get gay boys and their dads that often. This is nice, even if the scene is a bit sad because the dad is foreshadowing the base conflict Pat and Jeng are facing.

The president is ruthless, and Jeng fell right into that trap when he used his own money for ads.

Pat isn't wrong. He can't stay here if his skills are always going to be in doubt.

Well, there's our breakup.

Okay! So Pat is going to work with Put for the next two years? This final episode is going to be messy. Still, I am enjoying this. Pat only seems to thrive in small teams. There's something to be said about how some of us just don't fit into corporate environments.