#and of course Ford is going to be a good friend and spend time with his BFF's quiet and nervous sister

[thelastspeecher]

fordsprettylabassistant replied to your post: “Okay so, we know that in the show Ford deals with...”

Ooo!! All good points!! It makes a lot of sense for Ford to like, feel more at home I guess? He probably feels very relieved that he's surrounded by people who get what it feels like to be a "freak".

​Exactly! Everyone at the school is a "freak" like him. And he and Stan aren't the only ones whose power manifested rather obviously in public, resulting in them being severely ostracized in their hometowns.

Of course, these are still teenagers, and they'll act like teenagers. So there's still bullying and cliques, and Ford is far from one of the "popular kids". But there's comfort in knowing that he's near the bottom of the social ladder not because of his polydactyly, but because he's a fucking nerd.

[im-so-normal-iswear]

Can i request headcanons please? Of ford with a single mother reader with a Child that is friends with dipper and mabel(they probably meet bc of the kids), they are in the town bc reader's ex is an abusive prick that couldn't handle the divorce so they go to gravity falls to start again.

I just really like the thought of ford helping reader to deal with the burnouts and erasing her doubts of being a good mother, also i like to imagine that ford can get very protective over reader and her kid when her ex is around.

Im having a total brainrot😅

Of course!!

Ford x mother reader

When you first moved in its you probably needed something to occupy your kid while searching for a school that summer, so after a lot of hearing around, you decided to take them to the mystery shack for the day.

They instantly made friends with Mabel and Dipper, and as they started hanging out more and more, they started going to the shack almost everyday.

They spend a lot of time at the Mystery Shack, and Ford notices your presence and at first might even be a but suspicious, (still has some bad habits from bill)

At first, he’s distant, as he tends to be either working or with dipper and mabel, not quite paying you much mind, but as he sees the way Dipper and Mabel always hang out with your kid, his curiosity about you grows.

You start having small conversations when you come by, mostly about your kids. Ford appreciates how much you care about your child, even though you often look exhausted.

Ford is incredibly observant, so he quickly picks up on the fact that you’re dealing with more than just normal parenting stress. You’re trying to rebuild your life after a difficult divorce, and he notices how drained you seem at times.

One day, he finds you sitting on the porch of the Shack, rubbing your temples after a particularly rough day. Ford, ever the intellectual, starts off by offering practical advice—time management tips or relaxation techniques he’s read about.

But when he realizes that what you really need is emotional support, which is of course, not his strong suit, but he trusted his best.

He listens to you vent, reassures you that you’re doing an incredible job, and tells you how much your child admires and loves you.

Again, Ford is not always the best with feelings, but he goes out of his way to remind you that parenting is a difficult task, especially as a single mother, and even with all that, your still doing a good job.

He helps ease your self-doubt, telling you how much progress you’ve already made by giving your child a safer, happier life in Gravity Falls.

When your ex comes into town, either trying to contact you or causing trouble, Ford becomes intensely protective. He doesn’t tolerate threats, emotional or physical, especially when it comes to you or your child.

Ford’s protective instincts kick into overdrive. He stands taller, eyes narrowing as he keeps a close watch over you and your ex’s interactions, making sure your ex knows he isn’t welcome.

If your ex tries to approach the house or causes any distress, Ford won’t hesitate to step in. He’s not afraid to use threats, (do you remember when Ford was full on ready to shoot a man because he wouldn't let Mabel keep her pig??)

He’ll give heartfelt compliments, like telling you how your child has grown happier and more confident since coming to Gravity Falls, which he credits to your strength as a mother.

Ford has a knack for finding ways to reassure you with solid, rational observations, making it impossible for you to deny your own success.

He often reminds you that surviving an abusive relationship and creating a better life for your child already makes you a phenomenal mother.

Over time, Ford’s admiration for you grows. He’s impressed by your resilience and your ability to care for your child despite everything you’ve been through. He feels alot of respect and affection for you, which he’s not always sure how to express.

He’ll offer to help you with anything, from fixing things around the house to watching your child when you need a break. You became an important part of his life, so he’s always there for you.

Ford begins to take on a more involved role in your child’s life, becoming almost like a second father figure.

Your child feels safe with Ford, and they even confide in him when they feel worried about their father. Ford reassures them that they don’t have to fear anything anymore, he’ll always be around to protect them.

Mabel definitely sees all this and immediately goes to match make you, Stan alongside. Dates, alone time, whatever, do not mess with Mabel when she sees a potential couple

Hope you liked these ^^

[dreamings-free]

Louis about LT3

a summary UPDATED 6/10/24

Sep 2022 first time Louis mentions a 3rd album. Louis is quoted in Euphoria Magazine saying: “Ideally, I’d like to try and write the next record before I go on tour next year. I want to do something similar to what I’ve done this past year.” (but from what we know now it seems it didn't play out that way..)

Sep 14th 2022 Louis leaves a comment on Faith In The Future co-writer Nico Rebscher's instagram post about Out Of My System saying "Can’t wait to do more on the next album!"

Jan 2023 Louis is on holiday in Cabo, Mexico and is spotted travelling with his guitar - maybe in case inspiration strikes!?

Feb 22nd 2023 Louis is seen "a tiny village with a recording studio in it". A few days later both Louis and Matt Vines likes an instagram post by Faith In The Future co-writer David Sneddon captioned "Spent the week at @ angelicstudiouk with friends and heroes." Another FITF co-writer Theo Hutchcraft is seen in one of the photos.

May 11th 2023 Louis tweets: "Also probably shouldn’t mention this so early in the process but I’m feeling really confident creatively, just finished a week of writing and it was unbelievable. Exciting!"

May 13th 2023 When asked about the next album at the LA screening of All Of Those Voices, he answered: “I recently just started, yeah. The majority have been my own, but some of the lyrics is less direct, so it’s maybe not quite as specifically about me but,I felt really fulfilled, the last couple of writing sessions I’ve done have been really, really good.”

Nov 23rd 2023 Louis gets asked about album 3 at the Rolling Stone UK Awards and is quoted saying: “It’s funny, I wrote maybe 4 or 5 tunes in one of the breaks of the tour legs, and actually, I just wanna spend a bit of time. I’m really excited for those songs, but I don’t know when the next records gonna come and the thing about me is when I start writing, I’m just desperate to release things as soon as a possible, so I wanna take a bit of time on this record. So when that might be, who knows.” He also talks a bit about potential collaborators and mentions DMA'S.

Jan 20th 2024 Louis follows producer James Ellis Ford who has worked with Arctic Monkey, Gorillaz and many, many more.

Jan 24th 2024 When asked in a twitter Q&A if he has "a concept in mind already for the next album?" his answer was: "Started drawing the outline in my head". He also told fans asking at the meet 'n' greet in Jakarta that it would be "soon, in my context of the word" 😜

Mar 30th 2024 At the Tecate Pa'l Norte press conference he said: “At the moment, um— to be honest, I haven’t really— the question was what I listen to which is a slightly different thing but; I haven’t really given the next record real thought yet. Obviously it’s been on my mind. But in terms of conceptually, or even finding references, I’m not really at that point yet because I’ve done a lot of touring— just kind of getting that out of the way before I really start thinking about that proper.”

April 4th 2024 He told Chilean radio station Bio Bio: “I have written a couple of songs, but when I was writing them I wasn’t thinking about what they would be for a new album, they were just written to give me something to write and not put pressure on those songs. But I think I will start the work on a new album at the end of this year, maybe.” futher elaborating to Radio Disney Chile: “The good thing about this record is I’m gonna have plenty of time to experiment and with that it gives you plenty of room to just kind of find where the edges of the record live. So yeah I’m looking forward to getting into the process, but like I said I’ve been loving touring at the moment so just been kind of sticking to that.”.

He also told Paraguayan radio station HEI Now: “Of course there’ll be a new album. When? I’m not overly sure. I think I’ll probably start writing at the end of the year. I just wanna let as much life in first and then I can really start emoting and writing.”

June 2024 In the FITF tour LatAm recap video posted to Louis’ instagram 25/6 he says: “At some point I gotta think about the next record, but.. I’m a bit scared of that, truthfully right now, feel like I’ve been enjoying the success of Faith in The Future for.. quite a while. And yes, it’s been the pressure of the shows but I delivered what I think was a good record and a record that was successful. So now going into the next cycle it’s a little bit.. a little bit tentative going into it. I know that’ll change once I get off the road and really start thinking about the essence of the record and the concept of the record and stuff like that. But right now.. yeah, I’m just thinking about the festivals, I’m excited for those.” (he also talks - in past tense about playing in Mexico City and about the upcoming Away From Home Festival, so we can assume this interview was done somewhere in early June)

August 4th 2024 Responding to a fan sign at Santander Music Festival that said "How close R we to the next album 1-5?" showing three - possibly four? - fingers! meaning the album is 3/5 (or 4/5?) done!

Oct 4th 2024 curious activity across Louis' socials; on twitter the header image was changed from the Louis Tomlinson : Live album graphic to just the cover image and the Faith In The Futuretweet was unpinned (like it was on Louis' insta 9/9). on Louis' instagram the bio text was cleared and the link to louist.lnk.to/live was also removed.

Oct 6th 2024 Louis replies to a fan on twitter asking if new music is coming with "Only been off tour 2 minutes. The next record is going to be my best yet but need chance to let life in first!"

tbc...

[realmsalot]

I've been obsessed with Relativity Falls au for some reason lately so of course I've been turning around my own version in my head lately. And with Fiddleford I keep flip flopping on who I would switch him because there are many good options. Like

Fiddleford <> Pacifica:

This seems to be the most popular option, I've seen many old woman Pacifica designs, but I personally cannot see McGucket be the snotty rich kid that Pacifica was at the start. I CAN see how he could be rich (Tate McGucket probably invented something and got a lot of money for it) but CAN'T see him be anyway snotty about it. I think the best way to make Fiddleford fit this role is through a series of misunderstandings. He is trying SO HARD to be nice to these twin brothers who are spending their summer in Gravity Falls and he just keeps messing up. He tries to make a robot to help them out but it end up turning evil and they assume that it was ment to sabotage them from the start. He tries to have a nice conversation with them but because he's rich he's just out touch enough to come off rude and show offy. FIDDS IS TRYING TO BE NICE FROM THE START!

Fiddleford <> Candy

It is easily the second most popular option here. There really isn't much to say with this one it's probably the one that makes the most sense. I can easily see Candy going to Backupsmore and telling Dipper/Mabel about the weird things shes seen in Gravity Falls. The idea that Stanley and Fidds became friends first before Ford and Fidds is interesting. My main grip with it is that if we're going with the version where Dipper is swapped with Ford, it implies that Mable and Candy never really became friends in this universe, which I find really sad. Honestly I think that the main reason this swap exists in that context is because of that one episode were they go on a road trip and Candy got crush on Dipper mixed with fact that many people ship FiddleAuthor.

Fiddleford <> Soos

Hear me out, hear me OUT! I've seen a few versions where even when Soos' Grandma is swapped with Soos, they also add Fidds as a handyman at the Shack anyways. But why not go the whole way, ya'know? Soos was a friend that Dipper met and shared a dorm with in Backupsmore. Soos was still older than Dipper. Soos and Melody were already married with a kid on the way, and Soos was also Gravity Falls' local handyman. He decided to get college and get like a mechanical engineering degree or maybe a trade in something there because even in the small town of Gravity Falls technology was only getting more and more complicated and Soos wanted to be able to keep up so he can keep making money for his family by fixing things. During their time at Backupsmore, Soos would tell Dipper about some of the crazy things he's seen living in Gravity Falls, and that inspires Dipper to go study it after college. And then the rest of that rolls out predictably. I can easily (and sadly) see Soos becoming the local kook. I imagine that it will also be much sadder for the locals to see Soos acting up because many of them have memories of him coming to fix their microwaves and stuff. And as for Fidds, he's the Mystery Shack's handyman. You can make him around the same age as the Stan twins, we know that in cannon that Soos started working there around that age, so he doesn't have to be Soos' cannon age. I think this works best with Dipper and Ford switching places because in cannon Dipper and Soos were friends, so it kinda easily transfers, ya'know. I've put a lot in this one.

And uh yeah that's my incoherent ramblings...

[azelmaandeponine]

There is this part of the post "Why Filbrick Pines is not as bad as he seems" that I genuinely don't understand. Like, the person compare Stan's situation with the situation of the teenager son of they father’s sister but the situations are not even much similar. The only similar part is the part about being thrown out of the house:

"Speaking of kicking people out, I want to share something that happened in my family some years ago.

My father’s sister has two teenager sons, A and B: A left school at 17, but he quickly found a job with a watchmaker. B left school too, but instead of finding a job (or even attempting to do it), went out with his friends all day, smoking and drinking all night.

One day, my uncle found out his bank account was empty. When he tried to recollect what happened, he found out B took all the money from his bank account to bet on horses.

My uncle was livid. He came back home, told him he would not spend a single cent anymore and kicked him out of the house.

B stayed with his aunt for several months, before my uncle accepted him back and when he did it, he kept an eye on him all the time and forced him to find a job.

Why am I sharing this story? Because my uncle is a man in his 60s and he has always been a laid-back, carefree guy. Despite this and despite being in the 21st century, he got so mad at his own son, to kick him out without a second thought.

Does that mean he is a bad father? Or that he does not love his son? Of course not. He was so angry, to not think straight anymore. He needed several months of boiling down, to welcome his son back.

Of course that doesn’t mean that not kicking your children our of the house makes you automatically a good parent: parenting is not easy, there are a million of other mistakes parents make all the time and I don’t envy them at all.

My point is: Filbrick is not a bad father, because he kicked Stan out."

What do you think?

...dude.

Stan was kicked out of the house into the streets with nowhere to go with just his car where he was forced into crime to survive. And while Ford didn't know this, Stan breaking the project was an accident.

This person's cousin was sent to his aunt after being a dumbass and blowing his dad's money on horse racing.

These two things are not remotely the same.

Also "parenting isn't easy" lol.

True, but it's really not that hard to NOT KICK OUT YOUR UNDERAGE SON.

[starsarefire824]

Byler Fic Recs

I haven't posted some fic recs in a while so I thought I would!

Here are some ones I love:

In Undertow (M) by olliecoddle (@souverian-are-we): This is my favorite thing I'm reading right now. It's. Just. So. Good.

The Wheeler’s lakehouse was a two-story wooden building with white siding and blue shutters on each of the little windows. It sat on the edge of a large blue-green lake, a long backyard full of tall tufted grass that ended in a wooden dock extending out over the water. Will had been to the Wheeler’s lakehouse twice as a child, once when he was eight and again when he was sixteen. Now, he was twenty-nine and pulling up to the long driveway of the house in his beaten-up Ford Escort, his stomach in nervous knots that he was trying to calm with a half-full can of ginger ale.

or, four months after one byers/wheeler couple breaks up, another gets married. and, of course, will and mike are both the best men. and, of course, there is a plot to get them back together. nothing goes to plan.

one soft infested summer (M) by wheelersboy (@lucasvenkman)" The Stoned Byler to ever be stoned. And it's sexy and emotional and just delicious summer vibes. And I'll forever be thankful for the Director's Cut. 😉

The Party spend their last summer before college together at Summerfest in Milwaukee. Oh yeah, and they're stoners.

My Teeth In Your Neck (T) by @foodiewithdahoodie: Boarding school, sexual tension, and fencing. It's dope.

Mike and Will used to be friends. Best friends! But after one fight they couldn't come back from during the summer, they haven't spoken to each other since. The only time they cross paths is on the piste, with epee swords brandished, as fencing rivals for their opposing boarding schools - Hawkins High vs Lenora Hills Prep. This year is no different, except it kind of is. Something pulls them together and this time they can't escape it. Because there's no Mike without Will and there's no Will without Mike. Simple as that.

the strawberries are dying (T) by @eggowls Rated T: the world needs more historical au Byler fics, and this one is perfect. Beautifully written and an interesting premise. I have to catch up on this one.

At the height of the stock market crash, the Wheelers are the richest family in Roane County and in need of domestic servants to fulfill their estate's needs. In a bout of desperation, they end up hiring the Byers family, much to everyone’s (except Nancy’s, who has a crush on Jonathan) chagrin.

However, in the midst of it all, two outcasted young boys from completely different lives find a light in each other. And—slowly—their lives begin to intertwine to the point of no return.

need, lie, mean, cry (T) by @willow-lark: a good shorty fic with lots of angst!

Nobody needs Mike Wheeler. He probably wouldn't be so mad about it if Will hadn't lied and made him think otherwise.

Let's Go Crazy Together (but not like this) (M) by Julia_Skysong: Byler hate each other and end up sharing a room at rehab. It's awkward. I'm only halfway through, but I'm loving it.

Anger, fear, trauma, grief. One turned to alcohol. One turned to drugs. Now, somehow, they've ended up sharing a room at the same mental hospital. Will and Mike are stuck, forced to work through their issues together, for better or for worse.

things i can't say (T) by @chiquitablanquita. Switched notebook trope, my beloved. I really liked the writing here.

Will’s sketches contain a confession: he’s in love with his best friend. Unfortunately, his best friend’s journal looks a lot like his sketchbook.

If You Stay (M) by Flurryofstarz. A The Proposal AU, Byler edition. It's fucking cute. Impatiently awaiting an update.

Faced with the threat of deportation, career-oriented Mike Wheeler says he's engaged to his hapless assistant, Will Byers. Will commits to the lie while imposing a few conditions of his own. With a skeptical immigration official waiting for them to slip up, the two must work together to fool their friends and families into believing that their once-strained relationship has since evolved into true love.

But what happens when they start to believe the lie too?

Or, the fic inspired by the enemies-to-lovers rom-com, The Proposal (2009).

he could be a bee to a blossom (E) by anonymous: I loooveed the writing. Truly a Tragedy that it's anonymous.

Mike reached down and grabbed something. He was seated on the edge of the bed, curled towards him with his knee resting near Will’s pillow. He had a carton of freshly washed and cut fruit in his hand. “I already went to the grocery store and got, like, a million things. We could probably shelter in place here for a month and a half.”

Mike said it in a way that was not remotely sexy, but it still made something in Will’s stomach heat. He almost felt like purring, kneading his hands into the mattress with satisfaction. [My alpha got that for me. My alpha is making sure I’m healthy and hydrated. My alpha is taking such good care of me.]

A record scratch went off in Will’s head. Christ alive, Mike was NOT his alpha.

(A/B/O AU… And they were roommates!)

Be mine through the Hawkinspocalypse (and I'll be yours forever) (E) by TikaWayward: I love this whole series. It's unique and sexy and well written.

Mike was long. Long frame extended in a stretch. Long limbs shaking from exhaustion. Long fingers clenched around ripped sheets. Long hair damp with sweat, sticking to his long pale nape and freckled shoulders. Even his back seemed long as he tensed. Will had to commit this view to memory, engrave it in his mind forever. Even if it was the only time they ever shared such intimacy, even if Mike had only asked him for help because he was there, familiar, convenient, and they needed his heat to stop as soon as possible. There are goddamned monsters out there Will, I can’t be in heat right now, I can’t! He needed to revere this moment.

Mike truly was the most beautiful creature Will had laid his eyes on. __________________________________________________________________

Or Mike presents as an omega in the middle of his patrol with Will in a monster infested forest.

The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Hawkins (M) by olliecoddle (@souverian-are-we): uhmmmmm, I'm obsessed with this. Rock star angsty Byler.

Will had the same pre-show ritual before every gig he ever performed. About twenty minutes before he had to go on stage, he would lock himself in any confined space he could find. In a bathroom stall, his dressing room, the maintenance closet, he would turn off the lights and hide for a few minutes. Today, though, it was five minutes before he had to go on stage, the clock ticking down, and he had spent the last half hour wandering around the venue looking for Mike Wheeler.

Will needed to talk to him.

or, the party has a band. will and mike make out on stage. for the bit, of course. it causes problems.

I’m a Wreck (Without You Here) (M) by @talkingtothelights. I'm only on the first chapter but it's so heartbreaking and emotional. Good shit.

Mike has been living 2,200 miles away from his family and hometown for the past fourteen years. He rarely visits, but when he receives heartbreaking news, he’s forced to return home for a funeral. It’s in this unfortunate chapter of life that Mike must come to terms with the consequences of abruptly running away from home and perhaps reconnect with the one person he’s tried his damnedest to forget about.

not strong enough to be your man (T) by @perexcri. The prose is fucking beautiful. I really enjoyed this one.

He swallows down a flurry of all the things he wants to say – every moment and untold truth and aching thought that’s bruised his mind for years – but it comes out so plain, so stark and oddly-jagged in the silence following the lighting, taking up space where thunder should be:

“I meant it, Will. You’re not an inconvenience.”

Will shakes his head and turns.

Mike wants to feel like he's meaningful, like he's an active part of his own life - worthwhile.

It's a good thing Will needs him now more than ever.

Right?

Make Believe (E) by FlurryofStarz. One of all time favorites. Amazing slow burn and super interesting a/b/o dynamics. Mike centric. I cannot wait until the plot point I think is going to happen is revealed. 👀

There's absolutely no way to know what a person will present as ahead of time, but Mike's never been more certain about something in his life. Will Byers is going to be an Omega--a male Omega--and the second that happens, he'll lose everything. Some knothead Alpha like Troy or James will claim him as their own and no one will be able to stop them. Luckily, the Party has a plan. It might be complicated and unconventional. It might not even be legal, but it's something and that's all Will really needs. Something. And Mike's more than willing to try it if it means saving Will.

But what if Will isn't the one who needs saving?

*** if you’re listed here and want to be tagged let ms know!

[flowerburiedinrubble]

Expanded "Good Bill" BillFord AU

Has anyone expanded on the BillFord Good Bill Cipher AU?

What I mean by this is the idea that Bill Cipher began to backtrack on his original plan because he was "becoming more human," I don't mean physically as much as I mean getting emotionally attached to Ford and recognizing that Ford would hate the idea of being responsible for destroying his universe even if Bill sees it more as conquering. Yes, yes, super OOC, but that's the point of AUs.

So Bill backtracks and has to get Ford to stop working on something that can destroy the world Ford is fascinated by. And because Bill and Bill's friends basically live in different time realities, it's not like anyone would notice Bill missing for a human's lifespan so Bill wants to stay with Ford. Problem? Bill is still not in the physical world and laments this all while Ford is still on the idea of opening the portal to multidimensions and to Bill, of course. So Bill is trying to slow the project suddenly in Ford's perspective and taking it as a sign that Bill is losing confidence in him when it's Bill wanting to spend time with his weirdo in ways that wouldn't push Ford away. At this point, they're involved in whatever capacity.

Debating whether or not the idea that Ford does succeed in opening the portal but only for Bill per Bill's instructions because of vague "safety" issues that he doesn't explain to Ford. Bill exists now in Gravity Falls but only in Gravity Falls. He has a physical form but is limited to Gravity Falls.

(also debating whether Bill gets Ford to make him restrictions as a means to avoid a Weirdmageddon. Was picturing this in the form of a ring (haha married) so that Bill limits his own abilities because he knows himself and is too attached to Ford in the moment and wants to commit to this idea(thus a ring since it is a promise)).

Of course, Ford discovers Bill's original plan and that doesn't go over well. Bill tries to explain himself but it's hard to do that when he really was lying/manipulating Ford initially. Doesn't help that Bill isn't human and there's a disconnect for how he can explain in a rational way that doesn't make him sound crazy and obsessed with Ford and controlling Ford. Ford gets paranoid, canon events taking place while Bill is trying to get close to Ford, getting into his dreams, leaving notes, looking crazy to Ford and making Ford crazy in turn. Ford hides his journals so Bill doesn't know where Journals 2 or 3 are.

Enter Stanley and canon events except Bill tries to get to portal before losing Ford but fails and is limited in his abilities and access to other dimensions seeing as he now is more cemented in Earth's dimension ever since going through the portal.

Now it is up to Bill and Stanley to get the portal working again without Ford. It should be easier with two but both blame each other for Ford's state and absence. Ford wouldn't have fallen into the portal if it weren't for Stan! Well, Ford wouldn't have been driven to madness if it weren't for Bill!

Angry, limited, wary of the other- they work together. Stan builds a life in Gravity Falls like in canon- at this point, either Bill is always hidden in the Mystery Shack or he has got to get some sort of human form because he's a floating triangle and Stan is confused on many levels about his brother's relationship with this being but that's the least of his concerns.

Now to the canon events of the show. The twins arrive and they meet their Grunkle Stan, his employees Wendy and Soos and a strange friend/employee/family(?) Bill. He's still learning how to act human and Mabel enjoys him because he says and does weird things. Dipper finds him curious because no real answers are given to who this Bill guy is since he's kind of an employee of Stan's but he's closer and isn't typically working unless to mess with tourists. Mabel likes his "magic tricks" and Dipper is always trying to figure out how Bill did those "tricks." Bill is either missing or in the Mystery Shack. (not like he has another home, he's mainly working on the portal since he doesn't sleep). So he's strangely sometimes with them for dinners or random family times though mainly missing in action. (yes I like the idea of Bill wearing one of Ford's coats whether in his triangle or person form and he likely has gotten questioned on it by Mabel just like the mysterious ring he never (can't) take off))

I imagine it doesn't go over well when Dipper and Mabel are questioning if Grunkle Stan is even their Grunkle and that Bill doesn't even exist on any real record- or maybe finding out he isn't human. Though I imagine when Grunkle Stan defends them against Zombies that Bill would be there using his magic to defend the Pines as well and that conversation of "Kid, I've always known- We've always known" happens though isn't expanded on to further say that Bill literally is an anomaly in Gravity Falls- a dream demon.

Plenty to get deeper into and to add onto if anyone wants to play with this idea and delve into more specifics

[mymanyfandomramblings]

My future Gravity Falls Headcanons (do we even still talk about Gravity Falls on here?)

Dipper:

After finishing school, Dipper decides to start a paranormal investigation bureau (nicknamed the P.I.B). For the first few years, this operates mostly as a travelling business with a hotline number for people in distress to call, but as the bureau gets more business and notoriety, he is eventually able to start multiple branches, and settle down (a little bit, he's comparatively not very settled down, there is still plenty of monster hunting) in Gravity Falls. He probably does a few degrees remotely because he loves learning, however he was irritated by the fact that the colleges never offered degrees in 'cryptozoology' or other psuedosciences, so he surprised everyone by not going to college straight after school, instead choosing to focus on researching and investigating the paranormal. He's also probably written a few books on the topic. He marries Pacifica (sorry not sorry), and they have a few kids.

Mabel:

Mabel spends much of her high school career trying to figure out what she was going to do after school, but eventually decides on being an art teacher (she gets to do what she loves, but also around people all the time), although while she was in college she spent her vacations working at Dipper's Paranormal Investigation bureau. She moves around a lot, partially because she loves adventure, partially because she's still trying figure herself out a bit, and also because she keeps getting burnt by love (although she does get wiser when it comes to romance, she still has a terrible tendency to get far too attached). However, she eventually comes to the realisation that she doesn't need a significant other to be completely fulfilled, as long as she has her family around her, and she's a fabulous single mother to her daughter. She still loves glitter, and all things sugary, and even as an adult prefers Mabel Juice over coffee.

Stan and Ford:

Still two bickering old men travelling the world and annoying each other, until death do they part.

Soos:

He marries Melody, and they have quite a few kids, to whom Soos is, of course, the best dad ever. Soos is also a great Mr Mystery, although he lacks some of Stan's charisma and flair, he's still pretty good at it, helped by the fact that his Mr. Mystery is a lot more likeable than Stan's was.

Wendy:

Wendy spends the beginning of her adult life trying to figure out what she was doing with herself. She moved out of Gravity Falls as soon as she could, as she felt that the small-town community was stifling her, but pretty quickly found herself lost in Portland. She spends a few years working minimum-wage jobs and bouncing in and out of toxic relationships, but of course, refusing to admit her problems (except to Mabel, because Mabel could see something was wrong and nobody escapes the Power Of Mabel). Wendy is, however, a founding member of the Paranormal Investigation Bureau, and eagerly agrees to travel the country and fight investigate monsters with her friends. She keeps doing this, and even after Dipper steps back to take a less active role, Wendy takes over the travelling branch. She never marries, and is the 'cool aunty' to all of her friend's kids, who gives questionable advice, buys the coolest gifts, and encourages them to do dangerous things.

Pacifica:

By the time Pacifica finishes school, she is well and truly ready to get out of under her parents roof, so when Dipper offers that she join him and Wendy in the Paranormal Investigation Bureau, she jumps at the chance. Although she still loves to take care of her appearance, and can be a little bit prissy at times, she can fight HARD, and her weapon of choice is a golf club. She manages to complete her law degree mostly remotely, and in her mid-twenties, retires from Paranormal Investigation to become a district attorney (and she is good at it).

Candy and Grenda:

Candy gets a doctorate in thermonuclear physics, and has written several groundbreaking thesis papers. She has also written several groundbreaking spicy romance novels.

Grenda marries Marius and is an Austrian baroness now, and has a vlog series.

Gideon:

Gideon sorts himself out and manages to become reasonably good friends with Mabel, and he and Dipper are...amicable. He goes on to become a country music star.

[ckret2]

How are ford and dipper interacting with Bill. (especially after their ptsd due to how he hurt them)

So "how are they interacting with Bill OVERALL" is a big question—and one i've already touched on in a couple previous asks—so to shrink the question to manageable size, I'm gonna interpret this one more as "talk about any Bill-related trauma Ford and Dipper might have and how seeing him again impacts it."

I actually don't think either of them necessarily developed PTSD (although Ford has worse odds). Not because they didn't go through traumatic experiences thanks to Bill, but rather just because not everyone who goes through a traumatic experience develops PTSD. Some excerpts from the National Institute of Mental Health:

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event develops PTSD. In fact, most people will not develop the disorder.

Many factors play a part in whether a person will develop PTSD. Risk factors make a person more likely to develop PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder.

Some factors that may promote recovery after trauma include:

Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family

Finding a support group after a traumatic event

Learning to feel good about one’s own actions in the face of danger

Having a positive coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it

Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear

The Pines are part of a close knit family that shared in Weirdmageddon, and 3/4 of them were puppeted, hurt, and/or manipulated by Bill and can commiserate. They also have friends in Gravity Falls they can talk to about their Bill experiences. Although Ford and Dipper are ashamed of being fooled by Bill in the past, even during the course of the show they started helping each other process that; and all four of them have reason to be proud of how they faced Weirdmageddon. They all ultimately responded to their fears by taking action. The family's in a good position to get through the aftermath with minimal lingering trauma!

The biggest potential issues are their physical isolation from their support network, and Gravity Falls' Never Mind All That Act hampering people from talking with each other; but if you assume they're still regularly talking with each other on phone or online and that people are still willing to talk in private amongst friends about Weirdmageddon, I think they can get around the majority of those issues. (Plus, realistically, the Never Mind All That Act would hamper recovery from trauma; but since it was clearly intended to be a funny cartoon joke about life going back to normal, I don't want to narratively treat it like a serious thing with serious consequences.)

(I'm also on the fence about headcanoning whether Dipper & Mabel tell their parents; Dipper spends most of summer trying to tell the nearest adult relative all about the weird stuff in Gravity Falls and Mabel immediately writes to mom & dad about the new gruncle that came out of a magic portal, I don't see why they'd stop that when they get home. Odds the parents get the kids therapy is like 90% but odds they'd let the kids go back next summer is 5% so... *makes a weighing scales gesture*)

So I think they'll get through with minimal trauma-trauma. But the scars of the incident can show on them in ways other than full-blown PTSD.

The worst of it Dipper experiences is nightmares. Sometimes about Bill, sometimes about being stuck outside his body while it sleeps below. Admittedly, nothing to sneeze at; few things are more terrifying than waking up, disoriented and in the dark, from a nightmare about a guy who can actually invade nightmares—you can spend the next half hour asking yourself "what if it was real?" But if you've got a sister in the next room to reassure you it wasn't real and a grunkle in a weird time zone you can call at 3 am to hear he's had similar dreams for thirty years and they never meant anything... eventually a half hour of fear becomes five minutes of fear and the dreams become annoying instead of terrifying.

If anything, being in the Shack with Bill helps Dipper deal with the nightmares—it's reassuring to be able to wake up from a Bill nightmare, bellow "GET OUT OF MY DREAMS YOU FREAK," and hear back from the floor below, "I'M NOT IN YOUR DREAMS, I'M WATCHING TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES WITH ABUELITA."

Even his dreams about out-of-body experiences have decreased since coming back to the shack—that's probably a sign of healing, right?

(One of the things Bill plans never to admit to the humans: he still has a sizable amount of dream-related magic, and he's started shoving Dipper's soul back in his body whenever Bill sees him astral projecting because he's sick of getting blamed for Dipper's "nightmare" when he wakes up.)

Between Dipper and Ford, Ford's the most likely to actually get PTSD—specifically because at the outset, he got the least emotional support. After he found out Bill's motives, he was trapped alone in his house for weeks, afraid that the world could end if he fell asleep, until the point that he was hallucinating Bill in other people's eyes—if it was a hallucination.

That extreme sleep deprivation, that paranoia, that terror, and most of all that isolation from any support—THAT sure could trigger PTSD.

But Ford's had thirty years to process that, all while traveling through a multiverse full of people like "oh, THAT Bill Cipher? Oh yeah we totally sympathize, that's the exact kind of thing that guy would do." Getting dumped into the multiverse probably gave him a better shot of healthily processing the experience than he could have had on Earth. (Note that he's not checking people's eyeballs when he gets home from the multiverse.)

On the other hand, I do believe he's got some noteworthy trauma from thirty years in the multiverse, but never mind that! (You could arguably call that "caused" by Bill—but I don't think interacting with Bill conjures up memories of traumatic multiversal travels for Ford. He didn't see Bill during those 30 years. His mind sorts them in different boxes.)

The biggest negative psychological impact Bill left on Ford is trust issues. When he first returned to Gravity Falls, that was more global—TRUST NO ONE. Those trust issues have shrunk a lot—now it's just "don't trust Bill." Bill could tell Ford the sky is blue, and he'd have to go look to make sure Bill isn't trying to keep Ford from finding out that the sky's turned pink.

Upside: this makes it almost impossible for Bill to mess with Ford's head. Ford is all but mess-proof. Everything Bill says carries zero weight with him. Downside: this makes it almost impossible for them to carry on a conversation.

(Bill's the only one who considers this a downside. He's looking for a way to twist Ford into regretting not listening to Bill. Maybe the next time the kids are in trouble, he'll go tell Ford first, and then he can feel all self-righteous when Ford feels all guilty about brushing Bill off and not helping the kids.)

[f4llingst4rb0y]

Ok so I have this idea for a Gravityfalls au and I'm a little obsessed with the idea right now so let me know if anyone wants to hear more about it 😖

(I have no idea if anyone's done this yet, but if so pls lmk bc I'd love to see it)

ANYWAY HERE IT IS, ENJOY WHILE I WORK ON HOMEWORK!!!!

Basically, it's an au where Dipper and Mabel get kicked out at sixteen by their stepmom(?) and end up walking around before ending up in front of a house where Emma-May Dixion (Fiddleford's ex/Tates mom) lives.

She takes them in and she calls Tate down from GravityFalls to help her find a place for these two kids and he recognizes the two from when they spent a couple summers down in GravityFalls, so he says he'll take them there so they can stay with their great uncles.

Obviously, the twins are like excited and happy to go to GravityFalls to see their grunkles, and so Tate does as he said, promising his mom he'll keep her updated.

Over the journey back to Oregon, they all sorta bond, and it's nice even though Dipper is tense and very guarded while Mabel is just happy to go to a proper home. When they arrive the twins are greeted by worried grunkles and questions by their friends on why they're back in the fall instead of the summer, they don't say much but enough to let them know it wasn't good.

During the course of the twins settling in the shack, it's really complicated. Now that soos and his grandmother are living in the shack and Ford and Stan as well, it's incredibly crowded. Especially with Fiddleford coming around at times, mostly to check on the younger twins, but still.

Mabel eventually feels pretty good after a couple of days, but Dipper, on the other hand, is super tense and quiet. The only person who can get him to answer a question or to talk is Mabel, and it's really awkward for everyone in the house who isn't used to Dipper being so..different.

Later on, the Mcguckets and Pines make a small outing plan in celebration of the twins being safe and everything going well.

They end up hanging out by the lake where Tate works, and Dipper separates himself from the group because it's all just too much for him.

Dippers, too, in his head to realize Tate is sitting next to him, and when he does, he jumps and sort of just watches him from the corner of his eye.

The two make small talk, which soon morphs into them talking about family and fathers and all kinds of things. It doesn't take long for Tate to get attached to the two twins, they're really great kids.

Soon enough the conversation of how the grunkles most likely cannot be their legal gaurdians comes up and the twins are like devastated, but here comes Tate suggesting he could take em in.

Mostly because if he does, they'd still be related if Fiddleford and Stan are together. So really it's not a bad plan at all, Mabel is loving it because she honestly loves spending time with the man and she thinks it'd be nice to get him as a dad and be able to call Fiddleford grandpa.

Dipper, though, freaks out. Internally of course because he doesn't want to bring his sister down but he's secretly terrified because yeah Tate is a cool guy and he's super nice and his dad is also cool but at the same time he kinda barely knows the guy and he hates the idea of some guy just taking him and his sister away from his grunkles.

Like yeah he knows Tate will most likely let them see their grunkles but he's also terrified because he's started to like Tate and he's caught himself a few times thinking of what it'd be like to have him as a dad but he pushed the thought away as soon as it came.

It's not like he was scared that when Tate does adopt them and legally gets to be their father and all that, hell regret it. Dipper knows he's stubborn, knows he lashes out when he's upset, how he assumes the worst in almost any scenario, how he can't do anything like his sister.

Dipper knows that once Tate takes them in, he'll see how Mabel is the better twin, and he'll kick Dipper out and then never want to see him again. But no, Dipper is not scared of any of that. Whatsoever.

It takes a couple of fights and a few breakdowns, but they get there, Tate adopts the twins and makes them official McGuckets.

They all celebrate with a small party and it's a little rough, Dipper hasn't called Tate dad yet but that's ok because Tate is a patient man and he knows it's a hard transition anyway.

But when the time comes when Dipper finally calls Tate "dad," he most certainly doesn't cry.

[boundvirgo]

mohammadali saffari, homosexual, cisman + he/him, support «—◦—→ well met, arya soltani! the godling born child of asteria. it’s been twenty-seven years and now they have answered the song in their veins. can he change the course of history with his organization, straightforwardness, and his independence? or will his perfectionism, high expectations, and stubbornness hinder him? only time will tell before this godling’s name is sung into myth and legend! updated: 04/10/2024

── DEMOGRAPHICS

full name: shaharyar 'arya' soltani

name meaning: noble king

gender: cisman

pronouns: he/him

age: twenty7

birthday: september 14

place of birth: houston, tx

class: support

── APPEARANCE

fc: @mosaffari

height: 6'1

weight: 198

eyes: brown

hair: dark brown mussed

body type: mesomorph

mods: lobes pierced, no tattoos

style: business casual

scent: tom ford - tobacco vanille

── PERSONALITY

temperament: choleric

element alignment: water

big 3: virgo sun, gemini moon, taurus rising

── BACKSTORY

'Be better than me.'

The guilt laden words of a pitiful man ring in his ear. They always do around this time…

Vinay Soltani's birthday usually hits on or around Nowruz. Lately, he spends a lot of his time in silence, breeding grounds for looking back at his life and wondering how he went from bringing in the new year explosively with joy and family to feeling like all he can contribute to his existence is constant brainrot.

Every time he looks at his son, he imagines her standing behind him. They have the same eyes. It's the darkest, most midnight looking brown, and if you look closely enough, you can see the stars in their gazes.

With her in his life, Vinay felt vibrant, he felt like he meant something, he felt vindicated, like standing in her presence was the universe's confirmation that he was right to move to Houston and follow his heart despite his family's warnings. When she was gone, he was completely lost. It's as if his guiding light was extinguished, leaving him to be the guiding light for their son, and he knew he couldn't do it alone.

Arya knew it too.

Things inside the Soltani household were bare minimum and nothing else. As a kid, visiting his friends houses with their parents was always a completely different dynamic, and while he couldn't put words to it, it always made him reluctant to go back home. This unknown feeling that something had always been missing kept him up at night sometimes, guiding him to sneak into his father's bedroom and unlock his phone to find a completely different man in the camera roll. Someone who grinned from ear to ear at everything, who drunkenly ran through sprinklers with all of his friends, and was always laughing. He found photos of his dad kissing on a beautiful woman with eyes like his own.

Some days he got peeks of that joyous, loving man. The best way to get his dad to smile was with good grades, so nothing on this planet was more important than bringing home those report cards. His dad was always busy working during soccer games and track meets, but when he brought home trophies, the grin made it more than worth it. Arya didn't find out that his dad never graduated college until he told him he'd be attending Rice University in the fall and the man broke down in tears for the first time Arya had ever seen.

Kids tend to lash out when they're not getting the right attention by their parents, but Arya was a late bloomer. His anger came retrospectively, it came with understanding. All this time, Arya just felt tolerated. After seeing all those photos and listening in on the rare times his father would reminisce with friends, he'd been led to one single conclusion. Vinay's dark, sulking depression was all his fault. So he 'just tolerated' his father when he called to check up or came to visit him on campus. He graduated with honors and with resentment sewn into his heart. He was doing what his father would always tell him. 'Be better than me.'

His MBA wasn't just a degree, it was license to do everything his pitiful father came home after work every night and sat there wishing he'd done. Arya focused on his numbers, his impact, and his research. They were all the things that earned Arya a short lived smile from his father back then. The difference is that Vinay could only give short smiles. His professional life gives him promotions and salary renegotiations and suddenly he's made partner at such a young age.

Arya considers calling his father for his birthday. They'd only spoken every 4 or 5 months for the last 6 years. It's late, so he'll probably be asleep, but it's worth a try. When Vinay picks up, his voice is rough. He sounds like he's been crying. "Shaharyar. Son. We need to talk."

Just as he goes to agree, Arya feels his very existence being called on. The force so strong it nearly forces his body into auto pilot, muscle memory taking him somewhere he's never been before. "I… I have to go. Happy birthday, dad."

[spriteofmushrooms]

MDZS Characters & Their Perfumes

Wei Wuxian: Obviously, he doesn't care about fragrance! He's not like other young masters! Jiang Cheng, can you IMAGINE spending money on flavored water? LOL. LMAO, even. Haha have you ever noticed that guy always smells really good for some reason?

Jiang Cheng: Has an extensive collection of perfumes with lotus notes that he can't wear around Wei Wuxian without being mocked, but his daily fragrance is D.S. & Durga I Don't Know What.

Jiang Yanli: Kilian Love, don't be shy. Sweetness to encourage longer hugs.

Lan Wangji: Le Labo Santal 33. Only Le Labo Santal 33.

Jin Zixuan: Creed Aventus. He has EVERY batch and multiples of his favorite batch. When he feels zesty, he goes pineapple-heavy; when he's sad, he uses the flat, reformulated batches. One time, an almost-empty bottle of his favorite batch broke, and he mourned it like an old friend.

Wen Chao: Dior Sauvage Elixir. Yeah, he knows you can smell him from ten meters away. You're welcome.

Wang Lingjiao: Parfums de Marly Delina Exclusif! Because she's THAT GIRL!!

Wen Qing: Chanel No. 5. It's a classic for a reason.

Wen Ning: Tom Ford Ebene Fume... He just likes it...

Wen Zhuliu: It seems like Wen Zhuliu is pretending he can't hear or see us. Maybe we should ask later?

Jin Ling: Maison Francis Kurkdjian Baccarat Rouge 540. Yes, he's a flower boy, but he's complex!!

Lan Sizhui: Escentric Molecule 01 + Guaic Wood. The sandalwood reminds him of Lan Wangji, and the warm, smoky guaiac wood just feels comforting...

Lan Jingyi: Tom Ford Fucking Fabulous. No, Lan-laoshi, he's not breaking the rules; he's answering your question!

Ouyang Zizhen: Xerjoff 1861 Naxos. Isn't it romantic? Doesn't it simply make you want to cuddle up with someone you love? Yes, of course he needs to smell delicious on a night hunt, Jingyi! One never knows when one will find true love!!

Jin Guangyao: Initio Blessed Baraka. Gold, gold, gold.

Lan Xichen: Amouage Lyric. No matter what sweetness he shows on the surface, it all comes down to a base of incense and wood.

Nie Mingjue: Oh, no, that's just how he smells. ("Bvlgari Tygar," Jin Guangyao mouths from his side.)

Nie Huaisang: Why do you ask? Are you going to tell da-ge? No?? Well, okay! *opens a hidden door* Here's my beautiful, BEAUTIFUL collection, and if you have a few hours, I can tell you about each one! 💖

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY MOVIE REVIEW

Daredevil archaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary dial that can change the course of history. Accompanied by his goddaughter, he soon finds himself squaring off against the Nazis.

Why does Kathline Kennedy continue to think that taking legendary characters and turning them into bitter, depressed, old men and only for them to be outdone and replaced by a young, British woman is a good idea. It failed spectacularly with The Last Jedi and you think she would have learned to stop self-inserting her Mary Sue characters into these stories. But nope she fails again with is massive box office bomb.

The more I have thought about the Dial of Destiny the less I enjoy it because to simply state it, it's a mess that is a piss poor excuse for spending over $300 million on. I believe it would be easier to state the positives before I delve into the negatives. This is easily Harrison Ford's best performance as Indiana Jones. He still has that charisma and charm of the iconic character decades later. But his ability to weave the grief and depression his character is facing into his performance is outstanding. Furthermore, Mads Mikkelsen delivers a great performance as the movies main antagonistic. His ability to take paper-thin characters and elevate them to the next level is worthy of much praise. Lastly, John Williams score is out of the park. Despite being in his 90s, he still delivers memorable and powerful scores. Alright that is about it for positives lets get into the negatives.

To state that this story is a mess is a massive understatement. The story is filled with numerous plot contrivances, inconsistent characters, and plot armor. For example, Jones becomes wanted for murder thus forcing him to flee the States. This conflict adds nothing to the story as it is just a device to get Indy out of his shell and for them to call the Nazi cop "trigger-happy Cracker". Not only is it a poor plot device but a very lazy political commentary on police brutality. But what is even more ridiculous is that the movie totally forgets about it by the end as Indy returns home. You think he would still be wanted, but nope they drop the conflict. Another example is during the opening train chase, Mads Mikkelsen character gets smacked in the face by a train light going over 40 MPH. In reality this would have been instant death, but Mikkelsen somehow survives without a single scratch. He should be at least somewhat deformed with a massive scar but nope he looks as handsome as ever. This is worse than surviving a nuclear blast in a fridge.

However, one of the biggest problems this movie faces is Kathline Kennedy's self inserted character of Helena Shaw, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Now Waller-Bridge does okay job playing the character, but the issue is how she is written and how the story treat her. To state it simply, she is a sociopath that the film plays for female empowerment. She uses Indy at without hesitation to get what she wants. She disregards his feeling and belittles his character, while mocking the death of his colleges and friends. To state that Helena is a horrible person is an understatement. What is even worse is that the movie is totally oblivious to how horrible she is. As a woman I am tired of how Hollywood is writing female characters. The fact that writers believe the only way to write a strong female character is to turn them into the definition of toxic masculinity, is incredibly sexist. You think after so much backlash against these type of characters, Hollywood would finally learn, but again their egos are too big for them to learn from constructive criticism.

As it is becoming more a common practice is Hollywood writing, nostalgia is heavily used here to cover up the questionable storytelling. Whether is bring in Miriam last minute to cover the rushed and obviously re-shot ending, or bringing in Sallah for only a few seconds to cover the fact Sallah knew exactly where Indy was right when someone was about to report him to the police, the use of nostalgia is heavy. When this quality of writing is present, it really makes be question the WGA Strike.

One aspect that was somewhat good were the action pieces. I really enjoyed the opening train chase in Nazi Germany. Though the de-aged Harrison Ford with old Ford's voice was really awkward. Then the following chase during the Astronaut Parade was also really fun. However, the tuk-tuk chase was ridiculous as it was drawn out much longer than what is should have been. Furthermore, seeing an 80 year old Harrison Ford beating guys who are less than half his age, was funny to watch.

Overall, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is a massive disappointment. It's an unneeded film, that is simply a cash grab that is reliant on nostalgia to cover up it's questionable story. If you are like me, then the real ending for this franchise was Indy and company riding off into the sunset at the end of The Last Crusade. Also where were the gruesome and horrifying villain deaths. That was a greatly missed opportunity.

My Rating: C-

[naoa-ao3]

Scenes of Desctruction

Camping isn't exactly one of John's favorite past times but when the invitation comes and it's on someone else's dime he accepts and spends a day trying to find his hiking boots. He tears apart his whole flat in the process but he does find them, shoved to the back on a shelf in his closet.

They're almost brand new and he goes for a smoke to celebrate his find, packing that evening and heading out to meet his friends.

He's got a lot of friends and there's always someone interesting about when he's around. He just seems to attract interesting people. Sometimes to his own detriment.

He goes out with a few friends who have latched onto a retired history professor from down south.

It's his first time meeting Gerry but the man seems friendly enough and he shakes his hand and Gerry asks him for a light as they set off, all packed into a brown Ford Grenada wagon. There's five of them and plenty of room and once they're out of London someone sparks a joint, reminding John of years and journies past.

He's not as into the drugs as he was when he was young but he takes a little toke and laughs with the others.

It's a good crew and sometimes it's just nice to be included. He rolls the window down and sticks his arm out while the others talk politics and movies and people they know, sports and horses, jokes and local spots.

Gerry, who seems to be holding the whole venture together has a loud, booming laugh and a wild beard that looks like it took some real work to achieve and John likes him. Gerry tells them about passing historic sites and happenings and he listens easily as the wheels turn.

They pass other cars and massive lorries, farms and houses and it's nice weather.

They drive for nearly an hour and pull off alongside a field.

Then it's everyone out and over a low stone wall and through a small woods until they find a spot on the edge of a private field.

"You sure this spot is alright?" Someone asks as John and another two start trying to figure out the tent.

Gerry laughs. "Course it is." He said. "Right to roam, you know? It's been upheld."

The legitimacy of their venture doesn't hinder them too much and they get the tent set up and a fire going before too long and soon enough they're all sitting around comfortably by said fire, eating and smoking and laughing.

Gerry knows the history of just about every field in England it seems and every wall and valley too and he tells them fantastic stories of battles and then less exciting ones about the political ramifications of those battles.

They all listen and John enjoys the stories, it's good to know the history of the place you're standing on and he imagines men in old armor, spears and swords and horses screaming.

All things lost so long ago.

The smoke from their cigarettes and joints mingles into the air with the smoke from the camp fire and John takes his turn fetching wood with two of the others, enjoying himself as he tramps through the woods in search of a good stick.

The sky eventually turns dark over head and they all settle back, listening to Gerry explain the past and staring up at stars that have hung there for centuries.

John wonders if any of the men in Gerry's stories looked up at them and then after a while talk turns to little things and after that people start to drift off.

John wakes fairly late in the night and after too many beers and too much fun he disentangles himself from the tent and slips out to take a piss.

It's dark now and curiously he creeps out of the woods and into the clearing to get a better look at the sky.

It's a fairly clear night out, only a few dark whisps hang black against the sky.

He lights a cigarette and enjoys his private moment before a cracking sound fills he air and he jumps, hitting the black earth as a bullet wizzes past his left ear.

His cigarette slips for m his fingers, glows orange in the night and then disappears to earth.

John lays with his heart hammering painfully I'm his chest.

Gun fire?

He looked around and then hears feet pounding and the screaming if horses.

A hunter he could process but when he raises his eyes to see he can make out hundred of pairs of legs, all trampling the black earth hard around him.

It's a thunderous sound that reaches his ears. Hooves and men standing around him and he rolls then, trying to get away from the stampeding feet.

People are screaming now and when he's finally managed to get back to the edge of the woods he can only stare in dumbfounded shock.

The field is full of fighting men, old armor clanking and swords clashing as they battle but hidden amongst the silver and spears are the even stranger men and women. . . Men and women with painted faces and bare chests. . .

John's eyes don't totally take in the awful sight as the figures spill black blood across the earth.

A young man falls near him, leather armor a poor match for steel.

The boy's green eyes blink up at him in pained confusion and his mouth opens and closes uselessly but he's staring right at him and he's the only one that's seemed to notice him.

John states back, uncertain of what to say to him or if speaking would make a difference.

The boy reaches for him then, young, maybe only twenty. . . He's got blood on his lips and confusion in his eyes.

He doesn't want to touch him, doesn't want to see the blood or the green eyes but for all times he's been called a bastard John does have a heart and so he reaches out and takes the boy's hand.

Something desperate seems to roll from the boy's face and he gasps. "A-am I dying?" The boy asks as a wooden shield splinters and it's barer falls, black blood hitting black earth and seeping in dark rivers down below.

John nods. "Sorry mate."

The boy's eyes, impossibly fast. . . they search the ageless stars for some understanding and he nods, those same eyes rolling in his long dead head. "I feel cold." He whispers.

John hangs his own head. "I know, lad." He whispers, feeling the boy's forgotten fingers tighten around his hand.

"D-don't want to die." The boy says but John knows the truth. Most people talk about death like they have a choice but when they don't have that choice they don't want to die. Not most people. This kid didn't have a choice. He's already dead.

A warring figure so old John can't place his clothes falls then, speared on the blade of a man a millennia younger. It's gruesome and probably has already happened. Probably never happened. Couldn't have happened.

Happened?

This is only a reflection after all.

A million battles fought here, across this torn and bloodied land. The blood soaking the soil as kings and pages fell alike. Over and over and over, all of them fighting but without rules or sense.

"Do you have a name, lad?" John asks the dying boy, trying to be kind to him, trying to show him some bit of useless compassion.

The boy's mouth works curiously but he only stares upwards. "Can't remember." He says, green eyes vivid in the dark. Afraid in the dark.

Girls might have liked him once if this hadn't happened.

"It's alright." He hears himself say.

It isn't, not really. Not for this one or for any of these men.

"Will they burry me?" The boy asks, voice high and choked now.

John doesn't know so he lies and nods.

Bones split and shatter, men and horses scream; steel strikes painfully against flesh, cutting and tearing men like they're nothing.

The boy coughs blood and John wants to let him go but doesn't. It won't be long now and the boy will be dead. No use for cruelty now.

Not when he's been dead for a few hundred years already.

Gerry's words about the civil war and Cromwell flit between his ears, dancing in this boy's green eyes and reflecting off of the armor that's now stained with blood.

He looks out as the boy dies again, perhaps as he does every night or just on anniversaries and sees black, wet earth and weapon bitten bodies.

They don't look like living men when they're laid out like this and yet they were. A thousand dead men, all left to rot. Killing and dying in vain for eternity.

Bullets and stone weapons side by side, all of their barres bloody and lost.

These scars that don't heal, trenches and pits, nameless graves for the ones here. All of them forgotten in time and history except by men like Gerry and now him too who's seen it, seen the battles that don't end.

He watches a man's head- split by a club and almost chokes on the sight. This is hell, this is terror. This is insanity.

The boy is dead again, as he has been all along and then a second later he's back and on his feet again, crying out to his master and running back towards him to serve and die again.

John watches helplessly and sees a bullet pass through him. The poor fool falls, eyes hurt and confused and asking careless skies.

A horse screams and John stumbles as far back as he can get, green eyes hanging in his mind as he watches the scene unfold.

Destruction and chaos on every hand, in every heart and in every mind, their wounds spilling black death onto modern soil, recent earth. Turned earth. Earth that covers them. Them that were left here. Them without graves or names.

Them with green eyes and confused faces. All of them lost here.

A thousand broken spears and lives, heads split and bones broken. . . All aberrations of life. All wrong and twisted. All forgotten.

The boy is back again, helpless to his death as any of them and he's bleeding and angry and confused.

John pities him just a little and looks as an ancient king stares round, nose wrinkled and expression lost. He wonders what order this man gave. Which of these dead are his burden and if he even knows what he's done.

The king is felled, just like his men and bows to the earth already marked with blood. His eyes wide and his head wreathed in hammered metal for all the good it did him.

For all the good it does him for he rises right back up again and stabs a man with a painted face through the middle, ripping flesh and screams from men he's never met and never hated.

John remembers he came here to piss and turns from the sight and the dying men, turns from things he can't control and nearly trips over a down limb.

He curses and shakes his head, horrid sounds and images locked in himself now behind scared, green eyes.

He takes his piss, safe from the sounds of death and far behind the tree line. He leans against a tree to light up after, the only one awake and alive that night. His hands are still shaking.

It's good to know the history of the place you're standing on and he looks back through the dark trees to an empty field spilled black with centuries of forgotten blood.

It's silent now but in his mind he can still hear them fighting. . . still hear the ringing of their swords, the crack of their rifles and the pain in their voices. All of it clashing over and over and over again on a dark field behind a low stone wall.

He finishes his cigarette and tramps back to the tent and fire, walking away from Saxon kings and ancient men with painted faces, men with muskets and knights that never made it home. . . Their green eyed page boys all lost in the mud.

Camping isn't one of John's favorite past times but he does have to admit that there's something to it, something in getting away from the city and Gerry sure knows how to pick a spot. The man knows every battlefield and stone wall across England.

Now John knows one too.

[cyarsk52-20]

Succession wasn’t the only one that had their final season this week. Here’s to the marvelous mrs. Maisel which ended after 5 marvelous seasons🥂

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Series-Finale Recap: You’re Fired

Photo: Amazon Video

Let’s start with the good news: The series finale of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is way better than the conclusion of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. There are no shockers, we get a reasonably happy ending, and we’re not asking too many questions as the screen fades to black over Midge’s and Susie’s infectious belly laughs. To her credit, because she peppered the fifth season with flash-forwards, “Four Minutes” writer-director Amy Sherman-Palladino didn’t have to spend the finale wrapping up multiple storylines. By the time Midge hijacked her Gordon Ford Show spot and launched her career into the stratosphere, we already knew what happened to most of the main characters.

Midge: legendary comedy star. Susie: legendary talent manager. Joel: prison. Rose: died of cancer. Ethan: kibbutznik. Esther: genius. Abe: feminist. Moishe and Shirley: Boca Raton retirees.

The bad news? The finale is both overlong and bogged down with tedious scenes showing off Sherman-Palladino’s tracking-shot skills. I could’ve done without the Rose-and-Abe-searching-for-a-taxi sequence, the multiple walk-and-talks, and the everyone-trying-to-call-Rose bit (sorry, Zelda).

For the rest of this recap, however, I’ll be putting aside my jaded point of view. I’ve covered The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel for its entire five-season run, and I’ve had the honor of recapping it for Vulture since season two. So I’m more than ready to savor the final moments of this wonderful series. Please, join me, won’t you?

We open on the one detail the show has been avoiding for five seasons: Lenny Bruce’s downfall. Short of turning Mrs. Maisel into an alternate-history timeline, Sherman-Palladino had no choice but to face the hard truth about the rakish comedian, and my God, does Luke Kirby deliver.

In 1965 San Francisco, Lenny is a broken shell of his former self. The man who once commanded Carnegie Hall has been reduced to playing Gaslight-esque rooms where his “act” is just complaining about his latest legal troubles. Instead of laughs, he’s getting crickets interspersed with a few groans. When Susie comes to see Lenny after his trainwreck of a show, even she’s aghast: He’s strung out beyond belief, and I’m pretty sure he was wearing pajamas onstage.

Susie, who now boasts clients like Dick Gregory, Phyllis Diller, and Eartha Kitt, has arrived to offer Lenny her services. But he’s a lost cause, unable to even stand up on his own. Lenny asks Susie if Midge is with her. He looks so unbelievably sad when she says no, proceeding to destroy me with a feeble repeat of this familiar shrug.

But of course Midge is there — hiding in an alley and too distraught to see her old friend. Would Lenny have accepted Susie’s help if he knew Midge was just outside the door?

We’ll never know because Lenny Bruce will die in August 1966 of a drug overdose, making their brief airport reunion the last time he and Midge ever see each other.

Back in 1961, Midge’s cliffhanger phone call ends up being from Susie: She was arrested after getting into a physical altercation with two cops who found her napping in Central Park. Luckily, Susie plays poker with the police chief (and is white), so she’s free to go.

Midge takes her manager for some girl talk at a gorgeous set recreation of a Horn and Hardart Automat. Why was a depressed Susie sleeping and brawling in the park? Because her top client bulldozed her into begging her lost love for a spot on the Gordon Ford Show. After much prompting, Susie finally spills about Hedy Ford: Hedy was the rich girl, Susie was the scholarship girl, and they had an unbridled passion for each other. Until Hedy was taken to Paris by her image-conscious mother and came back engaged to a man, and a dejected Susie dropped out of college. Although Midge feels like garbage for pushing for that favor, even Susie agrees that this was the right move.

But Gordon, the most insecure man on television, is not going to make things easy. Upon her return to work, Midge is begrudgingly given the news that she’s on the show that evening. Then, while Midge preps in the green room, Gordon shows up to greet his “real” guest, astronaut Alan Shepard, before lowering the boom. Oh, Midge isn’t doing her act; she’s doing a quick Q&A as a Gordon Ford Show writer.

If there hadn’t been a pitch-perfect Carol Burnett impersonator (Leslie Rodriguez Kritzer) at this very moment, the next few grafs would’ve been me just reacting to Gordon’s spiteful sabotage with a bunch of expletives. Fortunately, we’re treated to a fabulous version of “Shy” from Burnett’s star-making turn as Princess Winnifred in Once Upon a Mattress.

I love that Midge ends up on the same show as Carol Burnett. Even though the iconic actress wasn’t a stand-up, she, like Midge, broke tons of glass ceilings for female performers, most notably with her own variety show.

Aaand the insults keep coming: Midge doesn’t even get to sit on the couch during her appearance — she has to sit on a friggin’ stool! The “interview” itself is lame, awful fluff, and the second Midge gets a laugh from the audience, Gordon, with his super-fragile ego, prematurely cuts to commercial.

Now The Gordon Ford Show is left with four minutes of empty airtime, and Gordon’s brilliant plan is to “vamp.” Groan. But Midge has a better idea. Just as she’s done from the second she stepped onto that stage at the Gaslight, she’s going to grab her chance because no one else is going to give it to her. She warns Susie she’s about to do something that could destroy both their careers, and Susie is all in: “Look, you started your career by getting up on a stage that no one told you to get up on. Saying a bunch of shit that no one wanted you to say. So, tits up.” 

Tits up, indeed.

Right before the show returns from commercial, Midge whispers to Gordon that she’s “never been great at following rules.” Translation: Buckle up, Gordo. Midge seamlessly launches into her act, immediately winning over the audience and making it impossible for Gordon to kick her offstage.

It’s a typical Mrs. Maisel routine with Midge telling her origin story. But we also get those sweet, genuine moments, like when she remarks that her daughter will be “tougher, more independent” than she ever was. Though anyone who has lived through the past 60 years knows that’s due more to necessity than good fortune.

The rest of Midge’s act is basically the thesis statement of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: Fame and success are only possible for (white) women if you make it happen yourself. This series also asks, “What happens when you get everything you dreamed of? Was it worth it?” We’re left to decide those answers for ourselves.

Do I need to say that Midge killed it? That she got a standing ovation and everyone, even Gordon Ford himself, loved her? Midge is invited to sit on the couch — 25 years before Ellen DeGeneres became the first female comedian given that honor by Johnny Carson — where Gordon proceeds to eat some major crow. He then introduces her, for the first time, as “the marvelous Mrs. Maisel” before whispering (with a wink and a smile), “You’re fired.”

Midge Maisel has never been more thrilled to hear those words. She knows her life is about to change forever.

But first, we need a proper farewell to Lenny Bruce because we can’t have that 1965 junkie version be our lasting memory of this beloved Maisel character. We flashback to “six months earlier,” the night of Midge and Lenny’s blue-room tryst. They’re having a late-night feast in Chinatown, where Lenny is teaching Midge how to do famous-person things, like sign an illegible autograph and ignore people who recognize her. The scene doesn’t do much to drive the narrative, but who cares? It’s adorable. Plus, this is where Midge got that mysterious fortune she stuffed into her dress before her Gordon Ford appearance. Even though the fortune only had lucky numbers printed on it, Lenny pretended to read a prophetic “fortune” about Midge’s eventual success. This scene is a beautiful reminder of how Lenny Bruce — like Susie — was always Midge’s biggest fan.

Finally, we arrive in the year 2005. Midge is 73 years old and ostensibly living in the luxurious Dakota building (there’s a reference to her neighbor, “Yoko”). Even though she’s officially at retirement age, she still balks at any open dates, demanding her six-staffer team keeps her booked nonstop. Aww, her millennial assistant tries to teach her how to text with a flip phone. So precious.

It seems to me that an elderly Midge can’t give up the grind because then she’ll have to acknowledge that she’s “All Alone.” We already know about the deal with the devil that Susie made for her success. Midge’s sacrifice wasn’t that much different: She got the “big life” she always dreamed of, but she must live it by herself.

We’re then taken through Midge’s palatial apartment, with Barbra Streisand’s “I Stayed Too Long at the Fair” soundtracking our tour. There’s a dining table set for 20 people, but Midge eats alone in her kitchen. She also keeps a framed photo of her and Joel at their wedding on her desk in her bedroom — a testament to the only man she ever loved, but also proof that they never reconciled (I’m not upset about this!). Midge has everything but no one to share it with: Her parents are dead, she doesn’t have a husband/partner, and she’s estranged from her children.

But Midge does have someone, even though she’s on the other side of the world. Yep, after she extended that olive branch 15 years earlier, Midge has made up with Susie, giving us The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel happy ending we deserve. While Midge cozies up in her little den, she dials Susie on her landline speakerphone, where we learn Susie made good on her “Testi-Roastial” comment about wanting to live in Hawaii someday.

People, retired Susie Myerson has a GIANT BIRDCAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER LIVING ROOM WITH MULTIPLE PARROTS.

It doesn’t matter that these two live six time zones away from each other or that they’re now crotchety old ladies who get their jollies by watching VHS-taped episodes of Jeopardy! over the phone. Their love story is as strong as ever, busting each other’s balls, having ridiculous conversations about reincarnation, and, most importantly, laughing their asses off together.

Midge once said she wanted someone who made her laugh. It turns out it was Susie.

It’s always been Susie.

More Maisel Musings!

• I once played Princess Winnifred in my college production of Once Upon a Mattress. For that reason alone, thank you, Amy Sherman-Palladino, for giving me another reason to cry during this finale.

• I’m placing old Susie, and her gorgeous mane of grey hair, at around 78, if Hedy’s “Class of ’48” story is to be believed.

• The prosthetics on Rachel Brosnahan and Alex Borstein in those final scenes are works of art.

• Tegan and Sara’s cover of Elvis Costello’s “Girls Talk”? Chef’s kiss.

VULTURE NEWSLETTER

Keep up with all the drama of your favorite shows!

Sent from my iPhone

[thatguywiththefaceog]

Choose Your Own Adventure-Dipper's Day (ao3 Version)

I had so much fun with using polls for stories, I did the same thing on Ao3. This is what they voted for.

All characters are over 18. This story is rated E for explicit and is for adults only. Contains Incest

Dipper yawned as he got up. His sister did her best to keep him up. Which was unfair as he was a growing boy of…

Wait, Dipper’s groggier than he thought how old was he again?

12

16

19! The hell dude?

Winner: 19

Nineteen, he was nineteen. Yeah, why the hell did he think he was younger? Boy Dipper needed to get his head on straight. It was Mabel’s fault, she spent half the night giggling at her phone. He couldn’t get any good sleep.

Despite both being adults, both still shared the attic at the shack. Soos' family needed the rooms and it was cheaper than hotels. Mabel didn’t even show her late night adventures, being her normal bouncing self. And giggling self too.

“Good morning Dipper. And good morning to your friend too.”

Friend? Dipper looked down and saw his semi-hard penis sticking out from his boxer flap. He had become well endowed in his adulthood.

“Aaagh!” Dipper made sure to make himself presentable before making his way to the bathroom. One of the hazards of sharing a room with his sister. Not that Mabel had been much better. Puberty had been kind to her sister, with her breasts growing to about the size of her head. For night clothes, she wore a old tee-shirt she had since junior high and some old panties that didn't really fit either. Dipper could see all of his sister.

Gagh, don’t think stuff like that! Once showered and dressed, Dipper made his way for breakfast. Mabel came skipping in. “Dipper I found something you ight like!”

“What, the mall?” He asked jokingly.

“Yeah!”

"Mabel that closed down 5-years-old."

"I know. I mean everyone in town says it's haunted now."

“Mabel, the last time we dealt with ghosts we got turned into wood!”

“Pfft, you mean the last time you dealt with ghosts. You need the Mabel touch!”

Well, it might help with Grunkle Ford’s research. He agreed to go with her after their chores. Dipper made his way to the gift shop to sweep. After sweeping a couple of aisles Wendy bust through.

“Guess who has two thumbs and talked herself out of a family camping trip!” Wendy had grown up quite a bit since Dipper's first summer. Her red hair was cut to a pixie cut, multiple piecing in her ear, and both shoulder adored with tattoos.

“Wendy!” Dipper ran up and greet his old friend. She was wearing jeans and a white tank top with red plaid tied around her waste. Dipper couldn't help but notice she wasn’t wearing bra, her nipples pointing through the fabric. Her left had a piercing poking at the fabric.

“Since I still got the day off, want to go swimming with me? I know a super cool secret lagoon that we’ll have all to ourselves.”

“That sounds amazing, but I already promised Mabel I’d do something with her.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Call me if your plans open.”

What should Dipper do?

Go swimming in secret lagoon with Wendy

Go to the haunted mall with Mabel

Winner: Mabel

“Damn Dip, you should have gone with her!”

“Mabel, I already promised to go with you. Besides, I wanted to spend the day with my sister.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet Dipper. But Wendy was totally vibing you. You could have gotten some ass.”

“Mabel!” Dipper blushed. “I’m over Wendy. Besides, she made it perfectly clear that she only saw me as a friend.”

“Yeah, when you were twelve. Now, you’re like mega hot. Even in your stupid cargo shorts.”

“What’s wrong with my cargo shorts? They’re practical.”

Of course his sister clearly knew nothing about practical outfits. Hers consisted of a blue top that barely covered her. The black bra she was wearing was clearly visible and her tummy was out. As a bottom she was wearing denim daisy dukes.

The twins made their way to the old mall. Dipper remembered helping Soos meet Melody, holding up here with Wendy. The place now definitely looks like it was still weirdmaggedon. He and Mabel broke through the sliding glass door. The mall was dark, little light came from the fluorescent lights that were still barely working. Most of the abandoned building were covered in vines.

“What the hell is this?” Dipper wondered aloud.

“They had a big greenhouse that sold flowers and yard stuff. Must be from that.”

“Are these luminescent?” Dipper asked. Sure enough the vines had a subtle green glow.

The only place that wasn’t covered with the vines were stairs to the floor under the ground. A quiet, but distinctive wailing was coming down there. An average person would dismiss it as the wind, but Dipper knew too much to think it was anything else then a ghost.

Mabel turned to her brother. “So, what do you wanna do?”

Follow the vines.

Follow the wail.

Winner: Follow the wail

They came to investigate ghosts, so they'll investigate ghosts. Dipper and Mabel made their way down the broken escalator, which just functioned as stairs. Once they made the bottom, their flashlights were their only source of light.

The wailing had grown distinctively loudly and the ghost seemed to added a bit of groaning for good measure.

Dipper knew this place well from his time with Wendy during weirdmaggedon. He followed the wail pasting long abandoned storefronts. He knew where the wailing was coming from.

"The food court?" Mabel asked.

"Alright, we know you are in here! Show yourself!" He turned to his sister. "Okay Mabel, people who become ghosts aren't the most stable people to begin with so we have to be careful not to offend them."

"I heard that!" Their came a terrible stretching voice. A woman appeared. Early twenties she looked dressed like an extra from an old Britney Spears video. Low riding jeans with her thong peeking out and a shirt that showed off her belly button. Lòkednlike Mabel found a kindred spirit in fashion.

"Listen! I know what you're thinking. But I'm not some old fart of a ghost. I'm a modern ghost from the totally modern year of 2002."

Dippered sighed. "Always nuts." A bit louder he asked, "Spirit, why do you still haunt this mortal plan?"

"Well, I was totally gonna lose my v card to Jason p but I… but I choked on a slice of Sbarro's!"

"You poor thing," Mabel said.

"And now I'm dead without realizing the wonders of sex! I refuse to pass on until I learn the pleasures of the flesh." She looked at Dipper. "Day, you looked hot. Like super hot."

"Wow, thank you but I'm made of flesh and you’re ectoplasm so I can't help you there. Come on Mabel, let's go." He took his sister's wrist and made his way to the stairs.

The ghost jost nodded toward Mabel. "She has a body. Let in her, than we can fuck."

"Yeah she's my sister."

"We're twins."

"So yeah, that's not happening."

The ghost did not like this. "I NEED BOOTY!"

The whole place went nuts. The tables went flying, terrible lighting came down.

"Dipper, how did you stop the other guys again?"

"While for the old couple at the convenience store I danced around in a lamb costume. And for the crazy lumberjack at Pacifica's Madison, she just let people into her dad's party."

"So you just, gave the ghosts want they wanted."

"Yeeeeah."

Mabel looked at the crazy ghost flying around.

"Ah poo. This isn't gonna make things weird between us, is it?"

"What? No."

"Yeah it's just… ghost stuff."

She kissed her brother on the lips before getting up. "Hey shut! You want booty? Fine. Have mine." Mabel spread her arms out. The ghost phased through her, possessing the 19-year-old.

"Oh god, it's been so long since I had a body." Mabel and the ghost's voices spoke at once, reviving over each other. Her eyes glowing white. She ripped off Mabel’s top and undid the bra. Her breasts bounced free, giving Dipper an eye full of Mabel’s large pink nipples. "Ah, bitch wasn’t even wearing panties!" She said as she pulled off the daisy dukes. A patch of groomed hair adorned her pubis. "Now let's see what you got."

She knelt down and undid his shorts as Dipper let her pull them down. The sight of his naked twin had gotten him hard.

"Holy shit, you’re fucking packed!" She started stroking him. "Aw fuck it's so warm. Shit I'm so horny." She sat down on a table, spreading herself at Dipper "Fuck me. I don’t care where you stick it was fuck me!"

Where should Dipper fuck?

Between her tits!

Her face!

Her asshole!

Her pussy!

Winner: Her asshole

Dipper kissed his possessed sister, squeezing a boob as his tongue met hers. His cock throbbed between his legs. Oh god he really needed to fuck her. “Turn around, I’ll fuck your ass.” That’ll stop any surprises from this encounter.

“Ooh, such a dirty boy,” the ghost said through Mabel. She presented her backside to him, sticking her ass up. Dipper ran his cock along his sister’s asscrack. Shit it felt heavenly. Neither of the Pines twins were virgins, both losing their respective virginities to previous partners. But there was one problem.

“Uhm hey a… ghost? Do you know where we can get some anal lube, cause if I go raw it’s really gonna hurt.”

“Wait.” The ghost made a few gurgling sounds and spat out a wade of blue goo on to Dipper’s hand. “Ectoplasm.”

Dipper smiled but his erection had softened a bit. He took some of the goo and started prodding Mabel’s butthole. The ghost gasped and the finger penetrated the body’s backdoor. After a bit of fingering Dipper added another finger, making sure his sister’s anus was nice and slippery.

He lined the rest onto his dick. Taking a deep breath He held onto her hips and guided his cock into her anus. The ghost yelped as she felt his head enter. Once firmly inside her, he used both hands on her hips. Mabel had done plenty of anal before so the experience wasn’t too painful for the ghost. And it wasn’t too bad for Dipper either. Her walls squeezing his cock while his hips slapped Mabel’s ass.

Dipper wanted this. He wanted this awhile he realized. He’d been looking at his sister's body in a sexual way for a while now. Having a good rhythm guiding him, Dipper bent down and reached for her chest. Mabel’s large breasts were hanging down, jiggling with each thrust. Kissing the back of her neck, he groped her. God it was great. This felt so good.

Dipper needed to cum. He needed to…

Pull out and cover her butt with cum

Creampie her asshole

Winner: Creampie

Damn he was cumming! Holding on to his Mabel’s body tight as he slammed into her as he began firing his shot. He could hear both the ghost and his sister's voice as the screamed in pleasure.

His warmth flooded their backside, anus clenching around his dick. "Oh fuck, it was everything I wanted." And with that the ghost was gone.

"Dipper it's me! We did it and that's your dick in my ass."

"Yeah I'll just-" He very gently pulled out of her. Mabel couldn’t help but grunt at the opening up of her ass. A trail of cum still connected Dipper’s cock and Mabel’s ass. He watched was his own seed leaked from his sister's ass.

Dipper felt as if he should say something. "Mabel, I-"

She shushed him with a kiss. She gently laid him on the floor. Straddling him, she whispered, "Now it's my turn." She slid her wet pussy lips against his still hard cock.

They consummated their new relationship right there. Mabel dressed back in what was left of her clothes. Her shirt was too damaged to wear so it was just her black bra. As they walked out into the woods, Dipper teased Mabel about flashing the town. So Mabel slashed him so real, which lead to another fuck session out in the woods. Dipper almost had a heart attack when Wendy walked by as he was thrusting into his sister. She didn’t seem to notice. She was also naked, wet, and angrily marching with an ax, so she had stuff going on.

The made it back to the shack and once again find themselves fucking. The bed shook as Dipper fuck his twin in the ass again.

“Dipper, Dipper, Dipper!”

“Guh, Mabel!” He pumped another load into her ass. ‘Aw, I think I’m spent.”

“Well that’s good.” Mabel stood up, stretching. “I gotta go poop out your cum.”

“Mabel, don't put it like that.” She blew him a raspberry was she went into the bathroom. Dipper laid in bed, thinking. “Huh, what are we?” He asked himself.

“Boyfriend, girlfriend,” came Mabel’s voice. She waltzed in, still naked and laid next to her brother. “I know it’s…weird, but we’ve always been weird. Dipper, I love you, like I’ve never loved anyone else.”

Dipper kissed her. “I love you too.”

The two cuddled naked for the rest of the night. Later, the two would learn that incest was actually legal in Gravity Falls which meant that there love could flourish, if it they had to have some awkward conversations with their friends.