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ultimatelytired · 11 days ago

Text

Contract pt. 2

word count: 39,011

Fandom: Gravity Falls Pairing: Stanley Pines x Alvah (OC) Pronouns: He/She/They (usually goes be she/her) Relationship: Problematic Occupation: Guardian Ability: Demonic Powers

Since the individual is a resident of the Nightmare Realm, while also being the embodiment of evil from across multiple dimensions, the power they have is almost unlimited. They are capable of traveling to different dimensions throughout the multiverse but when they do step foot in such dimensions their powers become limited unless they are able to form a contract, similar to Bill through his deals, that allows them to have full access to their powers. They are capable of shapeshifting their appearance to blend in with the locals or at least influence the minds of those who set their eyes on them, but if there were anyone to bear witness to their true form, their own minds would destroy itself and drive them into madness.

Keys:

n/a

Warnings:

blood, violence, and spoilers for those who haven't read the book of bill.

"Contract" pt. 1

there are bound to be mistakes in here that I a. missed or b. could not be fucked fixing.

season 2, episode 12. a tale of two stans

Her eyes widened slightly when Ford pulled the gun strapped to his back and aimed it at her, causing her to halt in her tracks and stare at the end of the barrel. She raised her hands and opened her mouth to say something but he had already pulled the trigger and a beam shot out of the gun and shot right through her face, taking out the entirety of the left side of her face.

"Alvah!" Stan shouts, this causes Ford to flinch and slowly lower his gun and stare at the woman in front of him. Her remaining eye slowly moved to look at the giant-sized hole in her face, and instead of the red substance known as blood dripping down her face, there was a black-like tar oozing out and dripping down the side of her body. Her eye looked back towards Ford and the shocked expression slowly twisted into a sadistic grin as maniacal laughter erupted out of her, a black smoke with a red glow burst out of the gaping hole in her face that was full of eyes staring at him. She raised her hand and gestured to the shadow to return inside where it escaped from before hovering her hand over the wound on her face and healing it, the way it healed was odd. Instead of seeing skin weave itself back together, her skin was like a shattered porcelain doll slowly putting itself together piece by piece.

"Is that how you greet an old friend, Stanford?" she asked after the last crack was sealed up, and it was as if she was never broken in the first place.

"Alvah, I... I didn't recognize you." he spoke as he looked her up and down, she did the same thing and sighed.

"That's on me, I suppose. This isn't a form you're accustomed to seeing." they all watched as she approached Ford, placing a hand on his shoulder that slowly glided across to his other shoulder when she moved behind him, soon both of her hands were on his shoulders but when she peeked out they were surprised to see that she-- or rather, HE looked different "This one was more to your liking, was it not?" even his voice made them shudder. Dipper and Mabel take a closer look at Alvah, and their jaws drop when they recognize him, it is him. It was the mystery man from McGucket’s memory that none of them had any recollection of, the man who was the cause of McGucket’s decline in sanity.

"I see you've not grasped the concept of personal space in the years I have been gone." he let out a laugh as he wrapped his arms around Ford's neck, nuzzling his cheek against his more rugged one.

"Nope. But I've missed you, Fordsy~" he cooed out, he snickered and pulled away when Ford aimed the gun at his face again, raising his hands up in surrender "You know those human weapons aren't going to work on me, but it is a pain to fix these bodies. That was the first time it was damaged since I first made it." he let out a huff as he lowered his weapon.

"Then it's a good thing that they can even penetrate a body like yours." he looked towards his brother again, who was staring at the both of them in shock, and grumbled when he felt Alvah's hands caressing his body "What are you doing now?" he let out a grunt when the end of his coat was lifted up a little as his hands glided up and down his torso, squeezing it a little before moving up to his biceps.

"I see you've bulked up a little throughout your travels. You're not that puny little stick that would get blown over by a small gust of wind." Ford sweat dropped when he pulled his hands back, wiping away the imaginary tear running down his face while sniffling a little "I can't help but be a little... proud." he laughed when Ford pushed him away by the face.

"Enough of your needless chatter, devil." Alvah let out a laugh as he lifted himself off the ground, floating in front of Ford with a cheeky grin.

"A devil you summoned to care for your loved ones." Ford let out a sigh at Alvah's childish behavior, seems he hasn't changed a bit. He turned towards the audience staring at them in bewilderment as Alvah hovered close behind him, his head hovering over his shoulder with his long black hair draping itself over his shoulder "I did as our contract stated, Ford. I kept your loved ones, and their loves ones, alive." his eyes zoned in on the poor state they were in and glared at Alvah.

"You were supposed to protect them, Alvah! Protect and keep them out of danger!" now this caused him to scoff as he rolled off of Ford's shoulder, he continued to float in front of him as he snapped his fingers and they all watched as his hand burst into a black and red flame and a scroll formed in his hands that slowly unraveled. In a text they could not understand, except for Ford himself, Alvah pointed to a specific section.

"It says I am to keep your loved ones alive. Not keep them out of danger, nor protect them. As long as they do not die under my watch, I haven't broken our contract." he shrugged his shoulders as Ford took the contract, reading over it to see that it in fact, did say that "Perhaps you should have worded it like that." he lowered the contract and glared up at Alvah, who continued to grin.

"You..." he then sighed.

"But it's also my fault that I got stuck here for thirty years." this caused him to raise a brow, Alvah points to a different section this time "For the time you are not in Gravity Falls, I am to remain here until you return. That was technically to protect your research and whatnot, but I never would have thought to change it when you disappeared." this managed to crack a smirk on his face.

"So you could not return to the Nightmare Realm?" this caused him to scowl.

"No, no I could not."

"Hang on, hang on." they both look to where Stanley spoke up, approaching the two of them with a confused expression "You... you two know each other? And Alvah, you're... a man?" Ford shook his head with a sigh.

"Yes, we know each other. I am the one who assigned him to take care of things in my absence, but I see that he failed to stop you from reactivating the portal." he just shrugged.

"And for me being a man, well, no." they watch as he lowered himself to the ground "I am neither man nor woman, I am not a being that can be identified by something like sex or pronouns. I am an interdimensional being, an embodiment of all that is evil. An amalgamation of evil from across multiple dimensions and parallel worlds. I am... evil itself." he looked even more confused, Ford raised his hand in front of Alvah's face.

"He is quite literally the embodiment of all that is evil, created in the Nightmare Realm that managed to gain a consciousness." he nods.

"In simpler terms, yes. My name wasn't even Alvah, to begin with," he then gestures to the man beside him "Ford is the one who bestowed the name "Alvah" onto me because he didn't want to call me by my title." this caused him to huff, pushing his glasses up a little.

"The Harbinger of Chaos is hardly a name." he shrugged, he winced when he was flicked in the nose.

"You were trying to be sweet when you gave me the name as well, not knowing that the biblical meaning behind "Alvah" means evil." he then chuckled, leaning back and allowing his body to float again while resting his head in his hands "It's the reason I even kept the name." Ford sniffled.

"Wait!" turning their heads, they see Dipper looking up at Alvah in shock while flipping through the pages of the third journal "Harbinger of Chaos? That's you? That was you, Alvah?" Ford's eyes widened at the sight of his journal, along with the fact that there were children present, now that he fully registered it.

"Aw~ you read my chapter. He said some real nice things about me, didn't he?" Dipper gasped when Alvah snapped his fingers and the journal disappeared from his grasp, he read through a couple of lines and snickered softly while showing Ford "With the few details I gave you, I think you captured my likeliness rather nicely." he tried taking the journal from him but this only caused Alvah to laugh and pull it away from Ford's reach.

"Alvah, give it back to me!" he laughed.

"Nuh-uh, it's his now." with that he tossed it back over to Dipper, who just barely caught it "He managed to find it all on his own, I don't think that hiding spot was good enough. A different snot-nosed brat managed to find your second journal as well, so you're not good at hiding things."

"Right." he cleared his throat and dusted himself off, Alvah floated behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders "It seems you already know who Alvah is, but allow me to properly introduce him. This is the Harbinger of Chaos, a being I contacted to keep my research safe and those I care about alive." he glared at Alvah, who snickered beside him.

"And you only did it because things went south for you. You never would have formed a contract with me if he didn't--" Ford promptly slapped his hand across his mouth, silencing him.

"They do not need to know the full details." Alvah scoffed and pushed his hands away, his eyes then moved to where Stan stood along with the kids.

"Other than that, he is correct. From the time you all stepped foot in Gravity Falls, I have been watching every little thing you've done. Every. Little. Thing." when he said that he booped them each on the nose "However, I am not allowed to directly interfere with what you do with your daily lives. So with each adventure you've been on, I was just watching in the shadows and making sure you didn't die at the end of the day. Like so." with a snap of his fingers, a burst of smoke formed in front of them that was playing back to each adventure. If they were being honest, it always felt like they were being watched, but seeing it for themselves, made them shudder "At times I had to rush you for you to get to places in time, at others I would manipulate the background to help you."

season 1

for the gnomes, she knew mabel would be walking into a trap to become the gnome queen and hurried dipper along to go save her.

when the "sea monster" was trapped in the cave entrance, she snapped her fingers so when it was thrashing, a particularly large chunk of debris would fall and make it malfunction.

made the sun rise so that the wax figures would melt.

spoke to mabel to get her to hurry along and stop gideon from killing dipper.

couldn't do much but would have stepped in if the ghosts were going to kill dipper, mabel and the other teenagers.

kept an eye on dipper in case the manotaurs or the multi-bear were going to double cross him.

kept her eye on the doubles if they overpowered dipper and would set off the sprinklers if things went south.

their lives weren't particularly in danger but if they got too far from gravity falls she would have chased after them herself.

each time they went back in time she was there to make sure they didn't get stuck in that point of time.

made sure mabel and stan wouldn't fall to their death and would prevent dipper from getting too hurt against rumble.

kept a close eye on the twins when gideon shrunk them down as well as stan if they didn't figure out he was ticklish.

kept her eye on the summerween trickster so he didn't get too close to the kids, almost interfered if soos didn't eat it from the inside.

if they weren't able to apprehend the monster she would have interfered.

no real threat.

just kept a close eye on them.

kept a close eye on the children in case they weren't able to figure out the body swapping.

no real threat.

was there to help them save waddles, but if push turned to shove, she would have interfered.

was the one to keep bill in check and save the children, stan and soos from intentionally losing to bill.

would have killed that little brat gideon if he did serious damage to the twins.

season 2

was there to protect the children and stan from becoming zombie food.

distracted the shapeshifter when they were in the caves and would have killed it if they didn't manage to capture it in the cryo-pod.

would have set the mini-golf park on fire if those little "golf people" really did hurt the children.

made sure bill didn't do anything "too" bad to dipper when he took his body.

kept her eye on giffany and would have short-circuited the place if things got out of hand.

no real threat.

was the one that got mcgucket moving so he could protect them from getting their mind erased by his memory gun.

kept her eye on the children when they went through globnar.

she and the love god kind of know each other, so she threatened that little cherub to not do anything funny while she was there.

kept her eye on them but couldn't do much with that ghost lingering.

"I now see what you meant by just "keeping them alive", Alvah." he just giggled with a shrug.

"I have seen every possibility, every timeline, every choice, every win, and every failure you have ever chosen. I know the outcome of every scenario, and even today, I knew would be the day Stanley succeeds in finishing the portal to bring Ford back to his original dimension." this revelation slowly caused Stan to look up at him.

"So... did that mean you knew that my brother would be trapped in the first place?" this caused them to look at him, a hint of betrayal in his eyes as he looked towards Alvah "If you were watching that whole time, did that mean you could have helped me save my brother? You could have helped me speed up the process instead of watching me wallow in misery for thirty years as I tried to fix my mistake?!" Alvah, whose face was blank as he stared down at Stan, blinked slowly before a soft but pained smile appeared across his lips.

"Yes, I could have." Stan's face slowly scrunched up in anger as he grabbed a hold of Alvah, pulling him close.

"You did nothing! You could have done something to help me, but you didn't! You said you were on my side... you said..." Alvah exhaled deeply through his nose as he gently took Stan by his wrists and pulled them off him, he lowered his face and gave him a sympathetic look.

"I would have if I could have." he spoke, Stan takes his hands back from Alvah as he refused to look at him "There are events in this timeline that I am not allowed to prevent or speed up. Thirty years ago, your brother was meant to go through that portal, he was meant to be trapped and it was on this day at this time that he was meant to return because of you and your efforts."

"Still, you could have helped me." this caused Alvah to sigh.

"Alright, let me break it down for you." they watch the smoke disappear when he slaps his hands together and then pulls them apart, they watch a blue thread surround the room as he pulls his hands away. He floats off the ground and starts looking through the thread before finding a specific one, he brings himself down and holds it out in front of them "Here is the timeline we are currently in. Here it contains every event that's occurred leading up to today. See how the thread is flowing smoothly? No hiccups or anything. My interferences are minor, and it doesn't cause any damage. Now let's go back thirty years, to the day where all this began." he pulls the thread back and it stops at a park that was glowing bright, he enhances on it, and they see in both awe and shock the exact moment Stan accidentally pushed Ford into the portal.

"Now let's say I did help you on the reconstruction of the portal, say instead, that it took us a couple weeks or months to get it fixed and we bring Ford back. Ta-dah, the day is saved." pulling his hand back a thread branches out from the original one and expands out "Because of this change, a new timeline is created out of the original; a new story is born. So, what happens to the original one?" his hand hovers under the original thread and they flinch when he closed his hand over it, crushing it beneath his palm and severing it completely "It's effectively destroyed and erased like it never existed, meaning everything that's happened so far never-- or rather, it never WILL happen. And even so, I'll get into serious trouble if I were to mess with serious events in the timeline."

"But, like," Alvah makes everything disappear when Mabel spoke, looking all nervous under his gaze "aren't you like a super powerful being? Can't you break the rules? Couldn't you have helped Grunkle Stan save his brother?" this caused him to chuckle, kneeling to Mabel's level so his drastic change in height didn't scare or overwhelm her.

"I find it flattering that you think I'm oh so powerful, I am, and I do tend to bend the rules a little bit, but if I were to break this..." they watch his already pale skin turn paler as fear struck his face, he's now curled up in a ball while clutching his head "I'll get in trouble with... them. It's been thirty years, and I've neglected my duties because I was stuck here, they're gonna yell at me." the sound that escapes him is like a whine like croak.

"Ah hem, uh, who exactly is them?" he points at Dipper, shaking his head.

"Someone you don't wanna know and don't wanna cross. They may seem all nice and mystical, and sure they're an extra-dimensional being that could wipe out my very existence but doesn't because if they do then they're erasing the very aspect of evil and they can't have that because it's just a pain... anyways, they're basically god." he lets out a sigh, pressing his hand against his forehead "So you see, Stanley, I couldn't help you even if I wanted to. The only thing I was allowed to do was... watch." his shoulders slump when Stan refused to look at him.

"So, when you say you're evil..."

"I am every bad choice you make, every selfish action, every terrible mistake. You could say I'm like that devil on your shoulder telling you to ignore the angel."

"So, you tell us to do bad things?"

"Pft, no. I'm just giving you the option, I'm not telling you to do anything. You're the one who chose it in the end, so that technically makes you a bad person." he then shrugged his shoulders, they then point up at him.

"Then what about old man McGucket? We saw that memory of you two, or the woman you. You two were arguing about something." he then let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair and messing with it.

"I went to see him to say sorry, and what did I get in return for my efforts? I got shot in the face!" he looked at Ford and saw him looking up at him in confusion "It was back when you two were first testing out the portal and he got sucked in by accident, remember how he lost his mind because he saw something that freaked him out?" he nodded his head.

"Yes? It was what convinced me to quit the project." he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hehe, yeah, well he saw... me." they all stare at him in confusion, not understanding what seeing him mea-- they were taken aback when Ford grabbed him by the arms and started shaking him.

"You mean Fiddleford saw you? He saw the real you?!" Alvah manages to rip himself free from Ford's hold and push him back.

"Yes! But it was completely by accident. We figured you two were getting close to finishing the portal but we didn't realize just how quickly, so imagine my surprise when I was relaxing in the Nightmare Realm and some scrawny little human poked his head through a hole in our dimension." he can almost remember it like it was yesterday, just casually relaxing in the Nightmare Realm because there's basically nothing to do except laze around when a hole opened up. Curiously, they did approach it and concluded that Ford and his little assistant Fiddle-whatshisname had finally managed to successfully finish the portal, but what caught them by surprise was when a head poked through. They recognized the human as Ford's assistant, they tilted their head to the side as they stared at him while the human looked up at them and their face slowly morphed into one of pure terror.

"You... aren't supposed to be here." they spoke, voice disoriented through the chaos that was their body. They sighed softly when the human screamed in fear so they did the only sane thing they could think of, they raised their hand and pushed him right back where he came from, and the hole disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

"What was that?" looking over they see Bill approach them, his singular eye tinged with curiosity.

"I believe your toy has finally finished his project." this made the triangular figure glow with glee, clapping his hands joyfully as he floated circles around their head "Congratulations, Bill. You're finally getting your doomsday." he let out a laugh as he hovered in front of their face.

"I know, right? I'm gonna go round up the others!" ah, good times, he then shrugs his shoulders.

"He saw my real body and I pushed him out before any more damage could be done, or if he saw anyone else." Ford starts rubbing his temples to ease the forming headache, Mabel raises her hand "Yes?"

"What does having seen your body have anything to do with McGucket going coo-coo?" he opens his mouth to speak but stops when Dipper opens the journal.

"Oh, I know the answer to that. It says here that since their body is made of all the evil throughout countless dimensions, parallel worlds, and alternate universes their body is so corrupted that if anyone were to gaze upon their true form then their minds would slowly descend into madness from all the chaos stored into one being." Alvah snaps his fingers.

"Ding, ding, ding. You are correct." he then sighs again "Because of that and our contract, I went to say sorry but even in a different form Fidds still recognized me and lost his mind. I tried to calm him down but in the end, he made me lose my temper and then I got shot with the memory gun." Ford heard him use the nickname he usually used for Fiddleford, sputtering a little when he used it.

"Fidds?" Alvah laughed.

"Oh, yeah! Ever since you kids helped him jog his memory, he came to me and asked, or more like demanded, I tell him everything he's forgotten. So once a week I'd visit him to help him remember what he's forgotten, we've gotten quite close since then." he winks at Ford, shrugging his shoulders as he floated off the ground again and wrapped his arms around his neck to nuzzle into his cheek once more "Aren't you happy we're getting along? You always scolded me when I made fun of him." he snickers when he started pushing him off again, struggling against Alvah's iron grip.

"Sure, but I'm not happy that he spiraled so deep because of my mistake." Alvah hummed softly.

"Then what are you going to do now?" this caused him to look up at the demonic being, he pulled himself away and smirked at him "Now that you're back, I have completed my end of our contract. But how about we extend it a little longer?" Ford narrowed his eyes on him.

"What do you mean?" Alvah placed a finger on his chin as he looked up in thought.

"Well, since Stanley opened the portal a second time, the connection between this dimension and the Nightmare Realm has gotten stronger. Who knows how long until Bill forces his way through, and the end of the world happens." a look of concern immediately crossed his face, he looks away to think but gasped softly when Alvah was directly right in front of him "Extend our contract, Stanford, and I'll continue to keep you and your family alive. I'll make sure Bill doesn't come into contact with them this time. I'll make sure he won't be able to make deals with them like he did with Dipper. You can leave their well-being to me while you focus on keeping him at bay." his gaze hardened on the man floating in front of him, showing off those pearly whites that could tear him to shreds.

"... the last time I didn't listen to you, I was met with betrayal and nearly lost my mind." Alvah was silenced when Ford glared at him, knowing what he was going to mutter "If we change up the conditions of the contract... then so be it." Alvah's grin returned, this time stretching from ear to ear as he clapped his hands.

"You made a fine choice, Stanford!" snapping his fingers, the contract reappeared before them once more. A red spark of lightning shot out of his finger, and he changed that he was able to come and go from this dimension to the Nightmare Realm whether Ford was in Gravity Falls or not, Ford himself changed up the part where Alvah was to protect his family instead of just keep them alive. They made a few more changes here and there before concluding that they were satisfied with the new contract, Alvah grins as he reads through it "Now, until the defeat of Bill Cipher, I am to protect your family from any potential dangers while making sure you don't make any past mistakes. In return, I have more access to my powers while I am in this dimension, and I can do whatever I want as long as no human gets hurt in the process." Ford reads through it one more time before nodding his head.

"Yes... I am satisfied with the changes to the contract."

"Wonderful!" they watch as both Ford and Alvah lift their thumbs to their mouths before biting into their flesh hard enough to get it to bleed, they hover their open wound over the contract and let a few droplets get on the golden parchment until Alvah snaps his fingers again and the palm of his hand burst into flames. This time a quill appeared, and he used the blood as ink to sign his name then he gave the quill to Ford to do the same, after he finished signing it Alvah felt a surge of power course through his body "Oh, yeah. Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Just remember to keep up your end of the contract." he only grinned as the contract rolled up and flew into his hand, it disappears when he closed his hand into a fist.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." his hands were then enveloped with a bright yet dark red flame, he stared at the smoldering flame before waving it off and booping Ford on the nose "With that I'll finally take my leave and return to the Nightmare Realm." this caused the others to stare in shock.

"You're leaving?" he laughed softly.

"Yeah, but not forever. I've been away from my real body for thirty years and I need to go and check up on it to see if I'm alright. I might be a little stiff for being away from it for so long." he then crossed his arms with a smile "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd miss me." the twins look at each other, still a little intimidated under the gaze of his red eyes, but they did nod a little.

"We'd like to think that you didn't lie to us this entire summer, Alvah. That the woman we've been hanging around didn't just look after us because of a contract, that you genuinely did it out of the kindness of your heart." this comment caused the smile on his face to drop a little, his face twitching as guilt ate at his nonexistent heart.

"I..." he couldn't finish his sentence and instead turned towards Ford, they let out a sigh but then gasped softly when something was thrown at them, Mabel was able to catch it and when they saw what it was their eyes widened "Take a look at that when you're not busy. You might find something worthwhile." it was his memory tube they were searching for that they couldn't find, he winked at them before finally turning away. Ford took a step forward and they watched as Alvah's body went limp, his body falling into Ford's arms before it could fall to the ground. There they watched as his shadow leaked out of him and loomed over them despite being attached to the wall "See you later." it spoke before a burst of laughter rang out through the room and the shadow disappeared.

Elsewhere...

In the chaotic hell that was the Nightmare Realm, a somewhat surreal unstable void filled with swirling shades of dark purple, red, and yellow almost like a lava lamp. However, the being we're focusing on resides in a different section of the Nightmare Realm. Though the sky was still red they were surrounded by stars as they lay motionless in a body of clouds, that was when their body twitched as they stirred awake. After being in a coma for about thirty years, the Harbinger of Chaos arose rather slowly and weakly from where they had been lying for the past three decades. With a body made of a chaotic tangle of writhing, red tendrils and jagged lines adorned with numerous glowing red eyes that peer out from the dark depths of its flesh, they opened their mouth, and a horrific scream roared out that would deafen the ears of mortal beings... turns out they were just yawning.

"Mm, it's been a long time." with a voice made up of the screams of all that they have slain, they spoke for the first time, and it almost felt foreign "I need to remember not to make the same mistake twice the next time I form a contract with a different being. I do not want to be stuck in such a predicament ever again." they note to themself, grabbing onto nothing to pull themself up until they were no longer laying in the luscious clouds that was their bed. Since their consciousness had been in that vessel alone, their main body had remained dormant the entire time and gave off the atmosphere like it was dead, but now their power was surging through their body and anyone residing in their section of the Nightmare Realm could feel that they had returned. 

The Harbinger of Chaos, the embodiment of evil throughout entire realities woke up one day and decided that they weren’t just going to be just a meaning, they were going to be alive. Where there is good, there will always be their counterpart that is evil, influencing individuals to do what they believe is the better option. As the devil on their shoulder, as the temptation that led Adam and Eve into biting into god’s sacred fruit, they are tasked with bringing the darkness out of people’s hearts. They do not crave world destruction, they do not want to destroy or take over dimensions, they think that’s just hard labor and a waste of time and effort, they’d rather just let their influence seep into the minds of others so they can destroy their own worlds.

“My old friend, it has been a long time.” this being of evil perked up at the voice, tilting their head to the side at the sight of such a majestic being “I am a little hurt at the words you spoke.” they let out a chuckle themself.

“I was only teasing. Besides, I knew you were watching ever since Stanley completed his mission to save his brother. And was I lying? The only reason you haven’t wiped me from existence is because if you do, the very concept of evil would disappear? But wouldn’t that be a good thing? Worlds without evil would be… perfect.” they let out a sigh.

“But a world without evil would be out of balance. Good and even coexist together for a reason.” a hum is the only response they get.

“Anyways, what are you doing in the Nightmare Realm? Did you venture across worlds just to visit little ol’ me? I’m flattered, really? It does things to my already inflated ego~” a chuckle leaves them as they float off, the Axolotl following close behind them “Are you worried Bill might pick up a fuss now that I’ve returned from dimension 46'\? He always avoids areas that you’re in.” the ethereal being let out a sigh.

“I suppose. He was always one to bottle up all his feelings then let it all out at once rather than sharing his thoughts.” this caused them to let out a laugh while snapping their fingers to open windows to other worlds, peering into one they were met with talking frogs “I think it would be better for him to show a different side, don’t you think?” this caused them to roll all their eyes.

“The last time he showed a vulnerable side he got his “heart” broken, remember? It’s the whole reason I was in dimension 46'\ in the first place.” they swipe their hand and peer into another window, now seeing a bunch of magic fly across their vision “If you want him to share his thoughts, you’ve got to force it out of him. The only way I see him talking about his feelings is in Theraprism.”

“You’re right.” this earned them another laugh, they watched as a dark energy seeped out of the tip of their hand and infested the open windows that surrounded them, corrupting a few individuals before quickly closing the windows “I hope you don’t make too many changes with the Pines family, friend.”

“You don’t need to worry about that, Axolotl. I’m a tough nut to crack.” this earned them a raised brow, and they shrunk a little under their gaze.

“Perhaps, but what about that vessel of yours?”

“What about it?” Axolotl gave them a knowing look, floating around them as they laughed softly.

“You and I both know what I’m talking about.” they laugh a little more when they see all their eyes look in different directions, avoiding their bright gaze “Oh, I am only teasing. But you’ve been in that vessel for over thirty years. Sure, time works differently on beings with such a long lifespan, but your mind was in that of a human body for so long. You and I both know that things changed, whether for the better or for the worst.” they were met with silence, they peak over their shoulder and saw their gaze was back on the Pines family once again, namely on the Stan twins.

“It… really complicates things.”

“What will you do now?” their hand hovered over their view of dimension 46'\, their finger tapping against the image before swiping it away.

“Fulfill my contract and come right back, I suppose.”

“I see. Then, I’ll take my leave. I hope to see you well, my friend.” and with that, Axolotl left as silently as they appeared. They floated aimlessly in the chaos that was known as their home and sighed to themselves, this is why they preferred to laze around instead of doing fieldwork, it was always stressful and required too much thinking. They spent most of their time taking care of businesses that had been left unattended due to their absence and watched their influence fill the heads of people who couldn’t make a choice, it was always fun watching people be conflicted in their choices. Time certainly worked differently in the Nightmare Realm and different dimensions because when they looked back to dimension 46’\ the two brothers had left the basement and were staring at each other’s reflection, Ford even had a different change of clothes.

“Perhaps I should inform them that I might be gone for a while to catch up on my work.” they thought it over before nodding their head and expanding their view on dimension 46’\, their finger circled around the image before allowing some of their consciousness to seep into the dimension before continuing their work. Alvah manifested within the second dimension (as a flat figure within the shadows) and looked around to find himself in the hallway, he travels through the shadows (similar to how giffany traveled through digital screens) until he found himself in the room where Stan and Ford were arguing with each other “I don’t suppose I’m interrupting anything, am I?” they both jump at the sound of his voice, turning in the direction it came from, they found the male version of Alvah in the reflection of the mirror in between them. They both turned their heads to look but found the space empty, so they looked back toward the mirror and saw him pressing his fingers against the glass, showing off the sharp, pearly whites as he looked at them.

“You’re back, Alvah.” he chuckled softly, pushing himself off the surface of the mirror to cross his arms.

“Yes, but not for long. I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on, so don’t expect to see me lingering around for a while. It won’t take me long to finish up, but I won’t physically be around to keep an eye on your family. But if you really need me, just say my name and I’ll be there to save the day.” he snickered softly when Ford scoffed, readjusting his glasses.

“I highly doubt we’ll need you to “save the day”, Alvah. You’ve made it clear that you’re not allowed to directly interfere with events, as you’ve put it.” he chuckled and looked Ford up and down, Stan was a little startled when he saw the end of his brother’s coat lift up to mirror what Alvah was doing in their reflection. He was looking him up and down once more, throwing his coat open to see he swapped out that black sweater for a red one while also messing with his hair “Would you quit it, Alvah?” he demanded and attempted to smack his hands off him through their reflection, it almost looked like he was fighting air, but Alvah just laughed and pulled his hands back.

“Oh, you know I’m just teasing.” he giggles softly when Ford tugged on his coat and tidied up his hair.

“If you want to make yourself useful, could you deal with the U.S. government? Stanley here tells me that they know about the portal, I’m just surprised they haven’t kicked down the doors to the shack yet.” this caused Alvah to start laughing, throwing his head back before wiping away a tear and leaning against the mirror with his elbow.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about those government officials. They won’t be bothering us again.” they both shudder when they saw him lick his lips “I made sure of that.” Ford glared at him.

“Alvah! I specifically told you not to harm humans.” he rolled his eyes with a groan.

“Hey! That was after we signed the updated version of our contract! I did it before then, okay? I also made it look like an accident, so you shouldn’t have to worry about backup coming to check up on things. Oh, and I gathered up all the evidence they managed to secure while they were stalking us.” he snapped his fingers, and a stack of discs and folders appeared behind them on a desk “You’re welcome.” Ford hummed softly as he looked over the documents.

“Well, this is perfect. Well done, Alvah. I knew I could count on you to handle matters like these.” Alvah bows his head rather dramatically with a smirk “I’ll deal with these; I’ll call you when I need you.” he twiddles his fingers to bid Ford goodbye, this leaves Stan and Alvah alone, to which the demonic being pressed his hands against the glass of the mirror once more to look at Stan, who refused to look at him.

“Are you mad at me, Stanley?” he asked, tilting his head to the side to try and get a look at his face but with the angle the mirror was facing he couldn’t properly see him “Is it because I didn’t help you with the portal, or because I knew the truth the whole time? Or was it because I knew what exactly you were suffering and did nothing about it?” he continued to watch him through the mirror for any sort of reaction but even then, Stan didn’t give any sort of reaction. Lowering his gaze to his hands, he saw that they were balled up into fists and shaking a little, was it anger or sadness? His fingers tap against the glass a little in thought, thinking of any way to get him to turn around “… do you hate me, Stanley?” Stan flinched at the sound of the voice and that was enough to turn him around, and there he saw the version of Alvah that stood by his side through thick and thin, his Alvah. Looking at him were those sharp green eyes that held a warmth like an early morning day, that kind and beautiful smile that lit up a room, and hair that was as soft as a freshly washed blanket.

“You…” she tilts her head to the side and watches Stan approach the mirror, finger raised to point at her face “You don’t get to ask those questions, Alvah. From the beginning, you knew who I was, but I didn’t stop to question you. I should have known that someone like you wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as you did out of goodwill. You probably programmed that body of yours to meet my preferred standards, huh?” she tilts her head again, her eyes looking around the room in thought before landing on his again.

“That is how I construct my vessels, yes. They take up the physical traits that would best suit those who gaze upon it, just like the male version of this vessel. I adorn that appearance because when I was first summoned, I knew how much the female population made Ford uncomfortable. I copied the personality of somebody he once cherished, but I didn’t drop it because it’s quite funny.” she took a step back and opened her arms to gesture to herself “For you, this was the ideal type of woman you have been craving; both in appearance and personality. This body was modeled just for you.” she watched the way his face screwed up but this time he looked like he was in pain, he swallowed thickly while gritting his teeth.

“Then, did anything… did anything matter to you?” he wasn’t looking at her, so he didn’t notice the way her eyes twitched a little “Did any of what we had… matter to you, at all?” he looked up at her and saw the way she just continued to stare at him, his shoulders slumped, and he turned away to leave.

“… from the day we first met to today, I have never lied to you.” this caused him to look back at her but noticed that she was no longer in the mirror “Take that as you will, Stanley.”

season 2, bonus episode. harbinger of chaos

“So, dudes, Alvah gave you that memory tube that contained the memory old man McGucket erased from way back then?” Soos, who was unconscious the entire time Alvah revealed she wasn’t who she seemed, questioned as he and Wendy followed the twins to where they could watch the memory tube. They hadn’t seen Alvah in a couple of days, Grunkle Ford told them that he, she, they? Whatever, she was so busy in her dimension that she wasn’t going to be around much, and the times she was she was down in the basement helping Ford out with his stuff. It was quite odd in the beginning, mostly because Alvah usually stuck by Stan’s side, but from what they were told, when he first met her, she always stuck by his side and watched him through mirrors or shadows. Anyways, they snuck back into the former base of the Society of the Blind Eye to steal the contraption that allowed them to watch the stolen memories of Gravity Falls and hauled it back to the Mystery Shack “What do you think we’re gonna see?” he asked curiously as they hooked it up in the attic.

“Do you think we’re gonna see the world's secrets?” Mabel suggests rather excitingly.

“We don’t know what exactly McGucket put into the memory gun, but I highly doubt it went that far. It would probably be something recent during that time.” Dipper answers, Wendy hums softly.

“Whatever it is, I’m glad I brought snacks. We can munch on these while we watch.” Dipper laughed softly at Wendy, lightening the mood. Now that they know that Alvah is actually a being of pure evil, he was a little nervous to peek into that mind of hers to see what was going on thirty years ago where it all began. Soos and Mabel rearranged the room a little so they would be more comfortable to watch, so after finally setting it up he inserted the memory tube and took a seat beside Mabel. The screen spurred to life and the dark room was filled with static until it turned black, it stayed like that for a couple minutes and it confused them, was something wrong with it?

“Hey, dude, did you set it up right?” Dipper scratched his head as he stood up, approaching the screen to see if he had done something wrong.

“I thought I did, maybe I missed—” he let out a startled shout as he fell backward when a loud crash came from the TV, looking back up at it, they were all startled to see the shadowed figure of Stanford in a mirror, and he looked enraged as his fists banged against the mirror glass.

“FORD!” he shouted as he continued to bang on the glass, he pushed his face against the glass to get a look at Stanford and he found the young man hunched over his desk. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, which was true, now that he had angered Bill Cipher, that triangular bastard had been tormenting the poor human to the point he couldn’t even sleep anymore in fear that his body would be taken advantage of “You’re going to allow yourself to wallow away in this shack? You’re not going to do anything to retaliate against him, and why? Because you’re afraid? You allowed him to take advantage of you despite all my warnings, and now that you lost poor little Fiddlesticks you’ve come to realize that you’ve got no one left. Tell me, what exactly are you going to do now? Have you finally given up, Stanford?”

“As… as long as I don’t give in, he won’t win.” he glares back at the mirror where Alvah lets out a malicious cackle, his fists continuing to bang against the glass.

“You think that’s enough to keep him at bay? Do you think that’s enough to keep him from getting what he wants? Unless you dismantle that portal of yours or destroy those journals, he’s going to continue torturing you until he succeeds. You sealed your fate the moment you took his hand, Stanford.” he scoffs, red eyes void of emotion but you can tell that he is giving him an unimpressed expression “You were such a gullible and naïve little thing that just a tiny bit of praise had you dancing in the palm of his hand; had you constructing the very thing that could destroy your universe.” he let out a laugh when Stanford stood to his feet and approached the mirror, slamming his hands against the frame and glaring at his shadow.

“Mock me all you want, Alvah, but I made the discovery of a lifetime. I was able to create something that could have changed the world; that should have changed the world.”

“Yeah, in a bad way. And sure, you were able to create it from scratch, but that idea wasn’t yours. You weren’t able to create something without his blueprints, this portal was his idea in the first place, and you were foolish enough to make it for him. To him, you were the perfect little puppet that didn’t even realize his strings were being pulled.” he laughed when Stanford punched the mirror, shattering it to pieces as the shards scattered across the floor beneath his feet, but he still saw his shattered reflection through the shards “If you had just listened to me from the very beginning, none of this would have happened. But why listen to me? As a being made up of an amalgamation of evil, of course, you shouldn’t trust me. Your muse would never lie to you~” he watched Stanford continue to glare down at his reflection before walking off, Alvah chuckled and followed him through the shadows that lingered through the barely lit house “He is never going to quit. He is never going to leave you alone. You will never be safe. You will never get to live a normal life again. You will never be sane. He sees everything no matter where you are. He is always watching.” Stanford stops in front of another mirror and faces Alvah once more, glaring at the shadowed version of himself instead of his own reflection.

“Then what do you suppose I do? The only other option would be to…” his eyes glance over at a closet that kept his weapons, he hears another chuckle and raises his head to see Alvah leaning against the mirror.

“You really think a bullet would end this madness? Hardly. You can’t get away from him, not even through death. Unless you can figure out a way to sever the connection between your mind and his control, you’ll never be able to get away.” he thoroughly enjoyed the way Stanford’s face crumbled up in pain “Well, what if I can help weaken it?” this caused him to perk up.

“What… what do you mean?” he jerked backward when a bright light burst out of the mirror, his face hardened when he saw the same scroll of paper Alvah first introduced to him a few months back when things weren’t so bad “You know I’m not going to agree to that after what happened.” Alvah’s hands rolled along the side of the scroll as he peeked his head out from the side, lowering it a little as his fingers tapped against it.

“You should know, Fordsy, that my contracts are different from his deals. He always manages to find loopholes through his deals and is generally the one at an advantage, while my contracts are stricter on myself and those who sign them.” he then gestures to the blank canvas “Whatever your demands are, I will match them to either an equal value or lesser. Through my contracts, I don’t need that portal to cross over to this dimension.”

“If that’s the case, why would I—” Alvah raised his finger to stop him.

“That’s where the contract comes into play. While I can access this dimension, my powers are much more limited than if it were the real me.” he holds the contract out to him once more “State whatever you want, Stanford. Whether it be keeping you safe from the dangers that linger outside this shack, or something minor like keeping an eye on your family while you stay here, I’ll be forced to do whatever it is. I don’t seek destruction, that’s not my thing.” Stanford stared at him in confusion.

“But you’re also a being that influences the minds to do atrocious things. Why would you do something so unlike you for me?” he flinched when he was met with a vicious grin.

“Because taking his toys is so much more enjoyable. When you two broke off, whatever your relationship was, he caused quite a ruckus in the Nightmare Realm that I found unbearable. I’m gonna enjoy the face he’s going to make when he realizes I took the one thing he thought was going to be his until the end of time.” Stanford clenched his hand into a fist as he stared at the blank contract waiting to be filled with his demands, what other options did he have? With the help of this demonic being, he can get Bill out of his mind so he can focus on more important matters, and even if he manages to get into his mind, Alvah is more than powerful enough to get him out “So, what do you say? Wanna sign a contract with me?”

“… I can state whatever I want, and you’ll have to abide by it, no matter what?” the grin on his face grew wider.

“Whatever you want, and I’ll do it for you.” Ford’s hand slowly lifted from his side and pressed against the mirror, in an instance, the demands he wanted were being written across the once blank page. A few other spots were filled in and he knew they were for Alvah, while they were allowed to travel between the Nightmare Realm and his dimension, they were to remain in Gravity Falls if he wasn’t there to keep it from being destroyed by the anomalies within this hick town, while in turn they were allowed access to their powers in order for that to happen. The contract turned towards Alvah, and their grin didn’t disappear, instead, he watched as they tore into their thumb to drip what he believed was blood and signed the end of it. Stanford took a step back when the contract came out of the mirror and a quill appeared beside it, Alvah pressed against the mirror and looked at him with anticipation “All you’ve got to do is sign it, and I’ll be at your discretion.” he swallowed thickly as he stared down at the part where he was supposed to sign it. Looking back at the quill he saw it swing side to side for him to take it, so with a deep breath he raised his thumb to his lips and tore into the flesh. He winced in pain but shook it off, hovering his thumb over the page and allowing a few drops of his blood to drip onto the page before taking the quill and signing his name.

“Now… now what?” he was met with silence when the contract disappeared, leaving him and the shadow of his reflection within the darkness of the room. He stood nervously as those beading red eyes stared right back at him, slowly, he watched his reflection raise his hands and start banging against the mirror. He took a step back when each strike against the glass started getting more and more violent to the point the glass began to crack, when the glass did shatter a black liquid spilled out and poured onto the floor. He watched as the liquid bubbled and sizzled until a hand burst out and slammed against the floorboards, slowly, through the gurgling and groaning noises that emitted from this blob of goo, a figure pushed themself out of the puddle of tar.

“What a pain…” he flinched at the sound of the voice as the figure stood to its full height, one that was looming over him, and threw their head back, which caused some of the black tar to splatter across the room and some even got on Ford. Their hands ran up their face then threaded through their hair and after wiping away the black tar from their face, he was met with a pale face a bright ruby red eyes with thin slitted irises. The figure before him appeared as a tall, long-limbed, broad-shouldered adult man of indeterminate but reasonably young age, with jet-black hair with his bangs falling slightly over his eyes and strands on the sides of his bangs framing his face though the length seemed to vary because his hair seemed to be part of his shadow while bearing this form. The outfit he wore comprised mainly in a classic Victorian fashion. It includes a white long-sleeved shirt with an intricately knotted red cravat under a black double-breasted suit with red buttons, matching black trousers, and a pair of dark brown leather riding boots, covered by a red, split, and full-length, long coat with ruffles exclusive to the shoulders “I must say, you have quite a sense of fashion, Fordsy~” the man cooed softly, twirling a strand of his black hair around his finger.

“W-What?” he spread his arms open then gestured to his being.

“This vessel was created to adorn the appearance my contractor so desires. As I said, I have no face, no sex, no appearance of my own. Whenever someone signs one of my contracts, I take up the appearance that my contractor feels most comfortable.” he then leaned down until his face was inches away from Stanford’s “This appearance was modeled just for you, Fordsy~” he was promptly shoved away, causing him to break out into a fit of laughter.

“And the personality?” he shrugged.

“Taken from someone you once cherished.” this caused him to look away, he dusted himself off and bowed his head once more “I am Alvah, the Harbinger of Chaos, and I am at your every beck and call until our contract is fulfilled. How may I be of assistance today?” Stanford stares down at the demonic being he summoned, his eyes full of so many thoughts, before taking the hand that was offered to him.

“We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

…

“So…” the children, Wendy and Soos, stared at the screen with mouths agape after the screen turned back to static, indicating that the memory had finished “McGucket erased the memory of when Alvah and Ford made their contract.”

“That he did.” they all let out screams of surprise at the sudden voice, looking up, they were met with the female version of Alvah, who was chuckling softly that she managed to scare them “I believe he was going to shoot Fordsy with it, but since I came to his house that fateful day, he used it on me instead.” they all stare up at her in shock before calming themselves down, she then casually leans against the TV as Dipper approaches her.

“But… if he erased that memory, wouldn’t that mean you should have forgotten what you were meant to do?” she shook her head.

“Oh, no. You can’t erase a mind so vast. To me, it felt like the moment you walk into a room and forget what you were supposed to do but remember it an instance later when you’ve left that room. If he wanted to completely erase my deal with Ford, he would have had to shoot me with that gun a good hundred times.” she takes the memory tube and tosses it up and down a couple times “That day was one of Ford’s lowest moments, where he didn’t know what to do and had nobody to turn to. Yet, I had not abandoned him. I believe that since he was in such a dire situation, that was the reason he agreed to sign a contract with me. If he were any saner, I don’t believe he would have.”

“So… how did you and Stanford meet anyways?” Wendy asked “From what we saw, you were confined to mirrors and shadows. What was your relationship with him?” this caused her to laugh.

“For the second part, I was more like a caretaker or maybe a babysitter?” she shrugged her shoulders while giggling “That man could not look after himself, and after Fidds left him, it was up to me to keep him from doing something that would end up with him not waking up the next morning. It was almost sad.”

“And the first part?” she raised a brow, Dipper twiddled his thumbs nervously “H-How did you two meet?” she looked up in thought, exhaling deeply through her nose.

“Well, that’s a long story.” she glanced back over at them, chuckling a little when she saw them looking up at her with anticipation “Well, it all started about… thirty years ago, I believe.”

Flashback…

“What do we have here?” the Harbinger of Chaos approached Bill within the Nightmare Realm after his return from a dimension, to which he was peering into said dimension through their windows “You seem to be in a jolly mood, Cipher? May I inquire why?” they hummed softly when Bill let out a boisterous laugh, looking away from what he was looking at to look up at them.

“Hahaha, I just found the most gullible human ever!” he gestured for them to peer into the window, and there their eyes laid upon a young-looking human man “Get this, I recognized his brilliant but cocky and insecure nature, and I used his near-friendlessness as ideal conditions for manipulation, so I introduced myself to him as a muse who chose one brilliant mind every century to inspire.” they let out a hum as they watched the human man write stuff down in a worn-out journal.

“So, he’s the next pet to build your portal?” he nods his head.

“Uh-huh. I showed him the blueprints for the portal, and he said he’d get started on it immediately. Psh, this has got to be one of the easiest suckers I’ve ever got to construct the portal in like, what, centuries?”

“Possibly longer, but I must agree, this guy seems to be very naïve.”

“I know, right? At least the other humans I tried to get to build my portal were more skeptical, but this guy is just dancing in the palm of my hand. It won’t be long before I can finally get out of this janky hellhole.” he heard a chuckle and let out an oh, looking back up at them “A very nice hellhole, since you can’t exactly leave.” they just gave a shrug in response.

“Oh, it’s bearable. And besides, I can technically leave whenever I want, I just have to abandon this body in the process.” he lets out a hum “I’m somewhat curious about him, you wouldn’t mind if pop in and bother him from time to time, do you? He looks fun to make fun of.” Bill laughs.

“Sure, go ahead. As long as you don’t distract him from completely the portal, I don’t care what you do.”

And that’s where they found themselves watching Stanford Pines, hidden within the shadows that surrounded the man. They had to admit, he definitely had a brilliant mind from the mass amounts of research he managed to accumulate throughout the six years he resided in the hick town that was Gravity Falls, but he was just so damn stupid. Apparently, he found murals about Bill Cipher hidden within a cave and thought “oh yes, this doesn’t scream demonic entity at all” and managed to summon him, or rather, just caught his attention. As they continued to watch him, before his little assistant arrived, he was rather neglectful of his own well-being and would go days of staying hunched over his desk figuring out equations.

“You’re quite dumb for a man who proclaims to be a genius.” they laughed to themself when they saw Stanford, who was currently brushing his teeth, spit out what was in his mouth and whip his head around in search of the voice “I’m right here, dumb, dumb. Look up.” he slowly raised his head to look at the mirror, squinting his eyes the longer he stared at his reflection before jerking backward when a grin spread across his lips. His reflection slowly started to laugh until a sort of darkness wrapped around his body and he was staring at a shadowed version of himself, a bead of sweat bled down his face when beading red eyes appeared all over his body and stared at him.

“W-What…?” his reflection chuckled.

“For a human who uses such big words to make himself much smarter than he actually is, I feel quite proud that I’ve rendered you speechless.” it felt unsettling to hear his voice even though he did not speak, his relfection’s finger draws circles in the glass “I’ve been watching you for some time, Stanford Pines.” he quickly grabbed his glasses that were sitting on the sink and put them on, staring at the figure in shock and awe.

“You know my name?” they roll their multiple eyes.

“Yes, I just said I’ve been watching you. I was bound to pick up your name.” they hum softly when his face flushed up in embarrassment “Anyways, I can’t help but say that I’m impressed that you managed to gain Bill’s favor.” the mention of Bill caused him to perk up, a little smile gracing his lips.

“Really?” they huffed.

“Sure. He’s gathered many brilliant minds over the years throughout the multiverse, but I’ve never seen him favor one specific human before. He’s given a lot of his time to you, and as I said, I’m impressed. Humans, in particular, are his least favorite. Still, he seems to put his distaste towards them to the side for you.” their gaze hardened a little when he saw the way his face flushed up, but this time, for a different “… anyways, I was just spying on you to see what all the hype was about. I don’t really see much.” they snickered when they saw how his face fell and looked back at them, his face scrunching up in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?” they hummed softly, crossing their arms and turning away.

“I thought you were smart, perhaps you can figure out why I don’t find you as interesting as your little muse does~” they laughed to themself when his face flared up, so they pointed at him as they continued to laugh “Haha, your face looks so funny when you do that! Do it again.” Stanford scoffed and turned around to leave, thinking that whoever this being was could only communicate through mirrors.

“Hmph, I don’t know what you are, but I’m smarter than you think I am.”

“Oh, really?” he gasped and saw the way the red eyes appeared on his shadow on the wall “I bet you were thinking I was confined to mirrors and your reflection, but no. I can appear within your shadow as well. Nowhere is safe for you!” throughout the day Stanford had to put up with them making fun of him and teasing him, even when he tried to cancel out the noise with music, they found a way to interfere with the soundwaves so he could hear their voice. They were now back in the Nightmare Realm laughing their head off with Bill Cipher, who was now dealing with the aftermath of what they did to Stanford “He is so fun to mess with!” Bill snorted.

“I’ve got to thank you, though he’s just complaining, he seems to be leaning on me more. Telling me how this “shadow has been bullying him”, just a little bit of reassurance has him trusting me more and more. Keep it up, would you.”

“Hah! Like I’d give up making fun of this human! I haven’t been this entertained in years.”

Over a couple of months when the progress of the portal had just begun, both Bill and them would play their little game with Stanford Pines. Where they would poke fun at him and point out his little mistakes while Bill would reassure him and help him figure out the problem, this led to Stanford trusting Bill more and more and cementing them as the bad guy. Though their power didn’t revolve around the mindscape like Bill’s did, they were still very much able to enter it, and they made the poor mistake of entering Stanford’s mind and witnessing how deep his obsession with Bill ran. Hmm, though they also made fun of that Fiddlestick guy, they were now beginning to prefer him with how… weird, Stanford was.

“So… Bill tells me you’re known as the, Harbinger of Chaos?” he asked questionably.

“Ooo, finally curious about me?” they asked within Stanford’s shadow, he had the light cast behind him so they could be “sitting” across from him “I thought you’d never ask any questions about me. Bill tells me you’re not quite fond of me.” he huffed.

“Of course, because unlike him, you make fun of me.” he saw the way they rolled his eyes, if only this poor sucker knew “But I can’t stop my curiosity. I asked Bill about you, but he told me if I wanted to know more about you it’d be best if I were to ask the source itself.” they leaned back in the seat they were in and shrugged their shoulders.

“Well, shoot, dumb, dumb. Ask away.” they laughed again when he pouted, calling him dumb dumb always got that reaction out of him so they resorted to calling him that from time to time.

“Mm, so what Bill has told me, you’re not exactly a… person, per say?”

“Well, it is hard to put it into words, but let’s just simplify it and say I wasn’t exactly born like you, your friend, or Bill Cipher. I was not created either. I have been around since the beginning of all that was created. I am simply the manifestation of evil throughout countless dimensions; an amalgamation of all that is evil. I AM evil itself, that managed to conjure a consciousness and become the very being that I am today.” they raised their hand and Stanford managed to see their hand glow red “I am every bad choice you make, every selfish action, every terrible mistake. I am the influence that drives you to do bad things.”

“So, you tell people to do bad things?” they shook their head.

“No. I don’t tell people to do anything, it’s their fault that they ended up doing something bad, not mine.” he nods his head as he writes down what they said in his journal.

“Does that mean you’re the very definition of evil?”

“That it does, but that doesn’t particularly mean that I am evil.” he watches as the glow floats around their hand “My being doesn’t exactly have the concept of “feelings”, you know? I don’t feel like being the bad guy or being the good guy either. I don’t feel joy, anger, sadness, fear; I can replicate those feelings, but I myself can’t exactly feel anything.”

“Do you feel pain?”

“Hmm, well, there hasn’t been anything in existence that’s able to harm me. Bill is quite literally the only being that is of equal power to me, but there is a being more powerful than us. You could say that is when I do feel the fear.” Stanford perks up at that, raising his pen a little.

“Oh! Bill has mentioned such a being before.” they nod.

“So, he has. He doesn’t like to mention it, but they make him nervous as well. Don’t tell him I told you that, he’ll get fussy. Anyway, there hasn’t been a time where somebody has managed to hurt me, much less leave a mark. I’m more of a neutral being, I don’t care for world domination, and I don’t care enough to save worlds. It’s none of my business; not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“I see. Bill tells me that his and your powers are somewhat similar.” it takes them a second to understand what he meant before perking up, snapping their fingers in remembrance.

“Ah, yes! Bill has his “deals” to inhabit his host's minds and “cross over” to your world. Unlike him though, I can appear here whenever I want. I don’t need a gateway like he does. Anyways, while he has his deals, I have my contracts. The terms of the contract are set by both me and my contractor, only when we agree and sign the contract may I physically enter their world. They’re stricter as well, we must abide by the terms and conditions, or else the contract with be null and void. We must follow it to a T, or else the contract with destroy itself, and my physical body will cease to exist and I return back to the Nightmare Realm.”

“And what about your real body?”

“It becomes stationed. While I am still able to infect other universes with my chaotic influences, it’s not nearly as effective if I were to do it myself. If I want to control the physical body I created in this dimension, I would have to give up the consciousness in my main body to control that other one. My powers are also limited, so while I can easily erase a planet from existence, my powers would simply be reduced to where I can only decimate a city.”

“That’s… still very threatening.” they shrug their shoulders. “You mentioned your real body? Each time I’ve seen you, you’ve only taken up my appearance. Are you faceless?” they hum.

“I am. I am neither man nor woman, I am not a being that can be identified by something like sex or pronouns. I have no face and no physical appearance to call my own. However, if a being lesser than I were to witness my true form, their minds would slowly descend into madness from all the chaos stored into one being.”

“Can you describe what you look like?

“Hah, are you going to attempt to sketch me?” he nods.

“Your chapter won’t be complete without it.” they stared at him for a couple seconds then laughed when he raised his head, waiting for them to say something, they just gently shook their head.

“Alright, okay. I have a body made up of a chaotic tangle of writhing, red tendrils, and jagged lines adorned with numerous glowing red eyes that peer out from the dark depths of my flesh. That’s all you’re going to get.” this caused Stanford to look up at them, mildly frustrated at the brief description, but he took up the challenge and started sketching with what he was given. They both sat in silence and all that was heard was the repeated strokes of Stanford’s pen sketching across the page, they were quite impressed that he was drawing with a pen instead of a pencil. After what they believed was an hour of Stanford consistently stopping to think and continue to draw, he let out a sigh and dropped his pen to pick up his journal.

“How does this look?” they lean forward and Stanford watches as their collective eyes shoot open and look at the page, he was startled when his journal was plucked out of his hands by an invisible force but when he looked down, he saw that the journal’s shadow was grabbed by them. Looking back up at them, he saw how they held the journal close so their eyes could take in his sketch “Is it… good?” a soft chuckle left them.

“Hah… alright, I’m starting to see it.” they lowered the book, and he saw something genuine in their eyes “With the limited information, this is surprisingly the most accurate depiction of me. Well done, Fordsy, you’ve won my praise.” they hummed when he became flustered, of course, he would, he’s never been praised by them before, so it made him feel special.

“Oh, well, it’s nothing much. I did struggle a bit.”

“Don’t humble yourself, Fordsy.” they turned the book around so he could see his sketch “Not once, in the trillions of years I’ve been alive, has anyone made a sketch as accurate as you have. Nobody can look at the real me without their minds declining into madness, and lesser beings aren’t skilled enough to draw a sketch this good with the lack of details. This is most likely the first and last sketch of me. Be proud, Stanford.” they huffed softly at the soft hue of pink appearing on his cheeks as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“Thanks.” he gasped softly when his journal was tossed back into his hands.

“Don’t expect to hear more praise from me for a while, that’s Bill’s job.” Stanford chuckled, feeling more at ease with the being that was harbored within his shadow.

“Sure…” their eyes stared curiously at him when his face scrunched up in thought “I hate to be rude, but is there anything else I can address you by? The Harbinger of Chaos is a bit of a mouthful, and I don’t exactly want to call you chaos or evil, so…” this got a laugh out of them.

“I don’t have a name. Not even Bill calls me anything. I just… exist.” Ford blinked at them, his face softening a little.

“Can I… give you a name?”

“What am I? A pet?” they laughed when he raised his hands and shook them.

“No, no! It just… it just makes it easier to address you? Yeah, that’s it!” they sat there staring at him as he tried to defend himself, but they just scoffed, leaning into their seat as they crossed their arms.

“Alright, Einstein, give me a name.” this ceased his needless chattering, and they sat in silence once more as he tried thinking of a good name that would best suit them, he mumbled a couple under his breath but he noticed the way their eyes would crease in displeasure at a couple so he kept thinking “If I don’t like it, I’ll skin you alive.” this caused him to start thinking harder.

“Um, how about—no, no, that doesn’t sound good. Uh, erm… oh!” he snaps his fingers, face as bright as a child on Christmas day “Alvah! How does that sound?” he started to shrink in on himself when they said nothing but stare at him “W-Well, Alvah is a gender-neutral name with Hebrew roots. Translating to “his highness” or “rising,”.”

“… you do know the biblical meaning to the name “Alvah”, also means evil, right?” this caused him to pause, looking up in thought before crumbling due to the fact he forgot that small detail, he jumped a little when they started to laugh “I like it.”

“W-Wha— really?” they nod their head.

“Yes, Alvah. It has a nice ring to it; I like the name, and I like the fact that it correlates to my being. You’ve won my praise again, well done.” Alvah rolled their eyes when Stanford became flustered once more “Don’t let it go to your head, alright.”

“Heh, I’ll try.” they both share a laugh.

Alvah didn’t want to admit it, but Stanford was beginning to grow on them, not enough to stop him from completing the portal, but enough that they started to… care, bleh. They never once cared for him when he would wound up falling asleep at his desk how his sleep schedule became worse and worse, or how he would never eat or restock on food, or even have a shower once in a while. Never once they did care about how he neglected his well-being but ever since the day he gave them that name, their perspective on him changed.

It was one of those days were Stanford decided to continue working on the portal and he fell asleep at his desk, his shadow loomed over him and Alvah’s form slowly took over and looked over his sleeping form. Humans don’t particularly feel great in the morning after sleeping in such an uncomfortable position, and because they can’t exactly touch his physical being, Alvah used different shadows to pick Stanford up using his shadow and carry him to his bed where he could get some hours of comfortable rest. Stanford would always wake up confused when he found himself in his bed, sometimes asking Fiddleford if it was him that moved him to his bed, but his assistant would deny any involvement in such a thing. He thought it was his muse that possessed his body to move him to his bed, so after asking him, he was met with laughter.

“Oh, that? Alvah, or whatever you named them, is the one that moves you.” this stunned him, Alvah? “I’m surprised too. Sometimes I would catch them in the act, but they just say they’re doing it, so you won’t cause any hiccups when building the portal. Gotta say they’re always one to think ahead. So, stop falling asleep at your desk, alright?” Bill’s eye narrowed on Stanford when he rubbed the back of his neck.

“R-Right, I’ll try and stop that.” back in the Nightmare Realm, Bill found Alvah peering into a universe with a human and talking dog.

“I didn’t think you’d begin to care about our little pet human, Alvah.” this caused their hands to jerk back as they turned to look at Bill.

“Whatever do you mean?” he hummed.

“You don’t like humans. You find them one of the most repulsive living flesh bags there is, so I don’t understand why you’re beginning to care about this one.” this caused them to huff, snapping their fingers and the window of the universe they were just looking at disappeared and the one of dimension 46’\ appeared so they could watch Stanford and Fiddleford continue their work on the portal.

“I thought I was doing a good thing for you, Bill. His progress has slowed a little because of him neglecting his body, would you rather his health to decline while he’s in the process of completing his project?” Bill narrowed his eye on them for that, he had noticed the way Stanford’s work had become a little sloppy because of his wanting to please his muse “I’ll stop if that’s what you want.”

“Hmm, I guess you can continue your babysitting. I wouldn’t want him to mess up when he’s so close.” they laughed as they gently tipped his hat, causing him to reach for it when it fell off “Hey!”

“If I didn’t know, you sound jealous.” their eyes creased when they saw his yellow body hue a slight red, whether it be of anger or embarrassment, they weren’t going to question him on it.

“Jealous? Of what? You taking care of him? I can take him to bed as well!”

“Mm, without hurting him?” Alvah laughed when he glared at him, the last time he possessed his body, he accidentally fell down a flight of stairs, but they were lucky he was only on the middle part of the staircase instead of the very top “Alright, alright. Now go, he looks like he misses you~” they cooed while pointing at Stanford, who was writing a new paragraph in his journal about his muse.

“Well, duty calls.” they waved him goodbye and went back to doing their job as Bill returned to Stanford, however, even they began to question why they were looking out for the human. They jotted it down to just looking out for the human for Bill, he needed him alive and healthy for his portal to be complete so he could leave this awful place. If he leaves and takes over dimension 46’\, it’ll leave them in the Nightmare Realm all by themself, which they honestly would prefer. They would have their peace and quiet once more and not have to hear Bill’s consistent chatter about world domination, perhaps he’d let Stanford live, he did have a soft spot for that human. Whatever, it’s none of their concern.

Until it was.

“Hey, Alvah.” they let out a hum as Stanford sat across from them as they played a game of chess, letting him know that they were listening, they stared at the pieces on the board as they thought of where they should move their rook “You know a lot about, Bill, right?” he noticed the way their hand pause for a second before slowly moving their rook across the board.

“I do. Why? Are you curious about something, Fordsy?” their eyes look at him curiously.

“I believe he is… hiding something from me.” they hum again, watching Stanford move his pawn forward “I can trust you, right?” they shrug.

“Whether you trust me or not, I don’t care.”

“Let me rephrase it then; have you lied to me at all?” they rolled their fingers on the armrest of the chair before letting it rest there but their finger started drawing circles in the air.

“I do not lie. I may keep secrets, but I am not prone to lying. I don’t see a point in lying to someone.”

“Even if it were to hurt their feelings?”

“I don’t care about people’s feelings. I’ll tell you a bit of the truth, but I won’t tell you the full truth. It isn’t considered lying if I don’t tell you the full story.” he narrowed his eyes at Alvah’s logic, to which they shrugged again as they moved their bishop to take the knight that was previously being protected by the pawn “Now, why do you believe Bill is hiding something from you? Don’t you trust him?” they raised a brow when they saw him hesitate, now this is new.

“It’s just, well,” he let out a sigh as he moved his other knight to take their bishop “Fiddleford and I are so close to finishing the portal and he’s been acting… different.” they tilt their head to the side.

“Different? How so?” he laces his fingers together, pursing his lips as he tries to think of the words.

“Well, he started to question where the origin of the portal had come from. When I told him it was from a close source of mine, he didn’t fully believe me but didn’t stop to question it.” he looked up at Alvah and saw that they were still listening, going so far as to roll their wrist to get him to continue “When I brought it up with Bill, he told me that Fiddleford was merely jealous that I managed to create such a complex machine.”

“And? Do you believe Bill?” his eyes hardened a little.

“I want to believe him, but Fiddleford would never think like that. He’s been my intellectual equal since our days in Backupsmore. I don’t believe he’d ever be jealous of me, but I don’t understand why Bill would say such a thing.”

“How can you be so sure? Things could change over time.” they watch as he moves his rook but in retaliation they move their other bishop across the board, forcing him to use another one of his pieces to shield his king from being claimed “You should always be careful who you place your trust in, Stanford. One might take advantage of your friendliness, and you would never know which one is doing it. They’ll say nice things to weaken your resolve, and the moment you open your arms out to them, they’re stabbing you in the back to get what they want. But what do they have to gain out of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, on one hand, Fiddleford dropped everything just to come and help you with this project. He left his wife and child and didn’t even stop to question what he was getting himself involved in, quite the dedication he has for his best friend. On the other hand, we have Bill Cipher. An interdimensional, dream demon who acknowledged your brilliance and chose you out of billions of other humans to be the one to complete his lifelong project. Taking time out of his routine to come visit you, whether it be in reality or within the sanctum of your mind. Both these individuals seem to hold a place in your heart, they are something special to you, and you are struggling to decide which one you should place your trust in.” they moved their rook forward and took out another one of his pieces, which forced him to move his king “So, who do you trust more? The one who was there when you were nothing, or the one who was there when you became something?” they moved their queen across the board and smirked to themself “Checkmate.” his eyes widened as he looked at the board and saw that their pieces cornered his king, he let out a sigh as he collapsed into the back of his seat.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, sort your feelings out. Your mind is clouding your judgement, and one day, someone is going to get hurt because of your foolishness. Decide who to trust. But let me tell you one thing.” he swallowed thickly when their tone got dark “Be careful around Bill. He’s not all that he makes himself out to be. He is one too hold a grudge to those who have double crossed him, and though you might be his favorite, don’t expect him to go easy on you.” they started laughing before raising their hands to form a triangle over their left eye “Beware of the beast with just one eye.” Stanford shielded his face when darkness enveloped the room as their laughter rung out before it all disappeared, he swallowed thickly as he looked around in a daze.

“Beware of the beast with just one eye?” Alvah watches Stanford in the shadows as he mulled over their words, they themself grinned rather mischievously.

“The seed of doubt has been planted.” they snickered quietly before returning to the Nightmare Realm and waited for the chaos to ensue.

And so, we’re getting closer to wrapping up this flashback, but also not quite there yet. Alvah already knew that Stanford and Fiddleford have almost completed the construction of the portal, but they hadn’t realized just how close, because whilst they were minding their own business in the Nightmare Realm, relaxing after fulfilling their daily chaotic routine, they were startled when a hole opened up and out of nowhere. Curiously, they did approach it and concluded that they had finally managed to successfully finish the portal, but what caught them by surprise was when a head poked through. Upon closer inspection, they recognized the human as Fiddleford, they tilted their head to the side as they stared at him while he looked up at them and their face slowly morphed into one of pure terror.

"You... aren't supposed to be here." they spoke, voice disoriented through the chaos that was their body. They sighed softly when he screamed in fear so they did the only sane thing they could think of, they raised their hand and pushed him right back where he came from, and the hole disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

"What was that?" looking over they see Bill approach them, his singular eye tinged with curiosity.

"I believe your toy has finally finished his project." this made the triangular figure glow with glee, clapping his hands joyfully as he floated circles around their head "Congratulations, Bill. You're finally getting your doomsday." he let out a laugh as he hovered in front of their face.

"I know, right? I'm gonna go round up the others!" they wave him goodbye and can only imagine the look of devastation on Stanford’s face the moment he realizes that everything he had built was all for nothing, that Bill was taking advantage of him the whole time while they themself knew about it all and said nothing about it. It was probably a couple hours later where Alvah was laying in a body of clouds relaxing, they didn’t really feel fatigue or exhaustion like living beings, but it was very relaxing to just longue around and do nothing. Well, that was until they heard something in the distance. One by one their eyes would slowly open and dart around to try and locate the source of the sound but couldn’t find anything, so with a low groan, they pulled themself up to try and find it but jumped when something flew into their face.

“What the—" suddenly their face started getting wet and when they moved their eyes to look at what it was, they saw that it was Bill “Bill? What happened? What are you—” they let out a grunt as they managed to rip him off their face like a sticker, they held him in front of them and there they saw that he was… crying?

“Y-You’ll never believe it…” their eyes look at him in confusion.

“What? What happened? Why are you crying?” he sniffled and moved so that he was sitting within the palm of their hand.

“Sixer figured out what I was planning after that little mishap with specs, he swore “eternal vengeance” and shut down the portal.” this revelation caused a few of their eyes to widen a little, they didn’t expect that outcome “But it’s not like I was going to let him get hurt, when we were going to ravage his dimension, I was going to let him join our band of freaks. With that sixth finger of his, he would have fit right in!” they nodded their head and laid back down on the clouds.

“So, what are you going to do now, Bill? That portal is practically finished, all you’ve got to do is switch it back on and you’ll have your apocalypse.” Bill knew he wasn’t able to do anything in the physical realm unless he possessed Stanford’s body, so he looked up at them with a hopeful look in his ey— “I’m not doing it for you.” he let out a huff at their words.

“Why not?! You’re able to manipulate their dimension however you please! You’ve been watching him so you know how to turn the thing on, so you could just do it for me!” they just shrug.

“Don’t wanna.” Alvah laughs when he got angry “It’s none of my business whether he abandons you or not. I never said I was on your side, nor was I on his side. I’ll do whatever is most entertaining to me.” they hear his growl under his breath before he floats off their hand.

“Fine! Don’t help me. But I’m not letting Sixer get away with this.” they shrug and relax into the clouds.

“Do what you want.” they laugh quietly to themself and watch Bill float away, probably heading to O’Sadley’s, a multidimensional pub in the Rock Bottom Asteroid Belt of the Vicious Spiral Nebula. They wait until they could no longer feel his presence within the Nightmare Realm before appearing within Stanford’s dimension, they’re in his house but they couldn’t find him, so they search outside and found him standing in front of a bonfire with all three of his journals in his hands “Whatcha doin’?” they laughed when he jumped, panicking when he nearly dropped his research into the fire but quickly caught them and held them close to his chest.

“A-Alvah…?” he looked down and found them inside his shadow, they waved up at him but noticed how his face hardened “Did you know the purpose of the portal?” they titled their head to the side.

“Yes.” he let out a groan, throwing his head back in frustration “I warned you from the very beginning, Fordsy? You’re quite dumb for a man who proclaims to be a genius. He was playing you from the beginning and I was giving you subtle hints about it, but you weren’t able to pick up on it. This is exactly why I called you dumb, dumb, dumb.” he never did like it when they called him that, but that’s exactly what he was, a complete and utter fool. He can recall the times where they hinted at the fact that Bill was lying to him, it was mostly during the times when he praised Bill, and they would call him a fool for saying such a thing and mock his intelligence.

“Are you here to stop me?”

“Stop you from doing what?”

“From shutting down the portal! Isn’t that why you’re here?” they laughed again.

“Hah! No. Bill did want me to switch it back on, but I don’t wanna do that. I could care less about what he wants. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, I was just here for the entertainment.” they blow a raspberry as they shrug “But remember what I told you, Stanford. He is not going to go easy on you, you better find a way to keep him out.” he swallowed thickly at their words.

“Yes, you are right.”

“I was right from the start. I told you; I don’t lie.”

“No, no you do not.”

Alvah watched from within his shadow as he tried figuring out a way to keep Bill out of his lab but allow him in, since he made that deal with Bill that allowed him into his mind, he was worried that when he fell asleep Bill would possess his body and attempt to reactivate the portal. Alvah clearly doesn’t care about the outcome, they stated they’re not on Bill’s side, but they didn’t say they were on his side either. He didn’t know if he could trust their word on it, Alvah wasn’t confined to his mind and could freely travel through shadows and any reflection, so he couldn’t think of a way to keep them at bay like he could with Bill.

Alvah thought it was quite impressive that Stanford managed to input a retinal scan on the door to his lab, knowing that when Bill was in the possession of any sort of body, the pupils of their host tend to become thinner while their sclera turned a shade of yellow. So, when he did eventually fall asleep and Bill did come into possession of his body, they watched within the shadows how Bill punched the steel door until his knuckles started to tear and bleed, he then resorted to scratching at the door like a caged animal until he split his nails. Bill, when possessing a body, was restricted to the physical capabilities of his host, so they were a little surprised at the strength Stanford had to be able to leave marks on the door. When Bill eventually gave up and returned to the Nightmare Realm, they appeared on the wall where Stanford lay unconscious and stared at the state of the door. Covered in scratch marks and smeared with his blood, if they hadn’t witnessed what happened, they would never have guessed a human man caused that much damage, rather a blood thirsty beast clawing desperately to get inside.

Stanford woke up in the morning and his hands were in agonizing pain, he thought he would have found himself in front of his lab door but instead he was in his bed once more. Lifting his hands out from under the covers he was surprised to see they were wrapped securely in bandages and on his desk was a bowl that had a hand towel drenched in a mixture of his blood and water, alongside it was a glass of water and what looked like his aspirin. He would have thought that it was Fiddleford that treated his hands, that he had returned after what he had put him through, but beside the glass of water was a tiny note.

‘you’ve got a bit of cleaning up to do ~ a’

“Alvah…” he whispered softly, he looks back down at his hands and noticed that his nails were a little shorter than the last time he checked. He took a breath as he gently rubbed over the bandages; they were on his side. Back in the Nightmare Realm, Alvah ignored the distant crying and screaming and watched Stanford closely, their finger drawing circles through the window to his dimension.

“Ah, I’ve got too much work cut out for me.”

Alvah watched as Bill grew desperate while Stanford’s mind slowly descended into insanity, they didn’t know if his desperation was what kept their involvement with Stanford to a minimum, but he had yet to notice how it was them patching up Stanford with everything that geometrical freak was throwing at him. They themself didn’t understand why they got involved with Stanford, they didn’t understand why they were helping him, they kept telling themself that it was just to spite Bill. They didn’t like Bill all too much, that’s why they were on the human’s side. Well, it was quite funny seeing him throw tantrum after tantrum each time Stanford denied him access to his mind. The zombie incident was a mess, it was a little hilarious watching Stanford and Bill converse through sticky notes like the humans do in their educational prisons, the oddest one by far was Bill taping a snake into his journal and how he retaliated? Playing Bill’s favorite song “the world is small ever after for always” by Inkwell, unfortunately it was now replaying within the Nightmare Realm.

They appear within Stanford’s room but noticed that he was nowhere to be found, they reappear inside his lab and don’t find him in there either. He couldn’t possibly be outside, the season changed to the colder one so there was no way he was outside unless he wanted to be frozen like a popsicle. Roaming the hallways of his barely lit shack, Alvah was struggling to find him, but when they searched upstairs, they noticed that one of his windows leading to the roof was open. It was the early morning, and the sun was up, but it was barely peaking through the thick clouds that blanketed the earth with layers of snow, but outside on the rooftop was Stanford. He was woken from his slumber when he felt a blast of freezing cold air blow through him, his eyes shot open, and it took him a couple seconds to realize that he was outside. His eyes slowly trailed downwards, and he realized that he was on the roof of his shack, his foot hanging off the edge as if he was about to step off. If his body wasn’t already shaking due to the cold, then his body started to tremble at the thought of Bill… he slowly pulled his foot back and inched away from the edge, hugging his body that was turning blue due to hyperthermia. How long had he been out here? He could barely feel his fingers and the snow was seeping into his clothes and melting, nothing feels worse than wet socks. Maybe it was due to him being lost in his thoughts or the sudden gust of wind, but his eyes widened when he lost his footing and started to fall. He clawed desperately at anything to catch himself but due to the layer of snow on his roof he found nothing to grab, a gasp left him he had practically fallen off the roof but was caught in midair by his wrist.

“How’s it hanging?” looking up, he didn’t see anyone but when he looked forward, he had realized he had fallen in front of the open window where his shadow cast inside and there he saw Alvah had caught him by his shadow “Now what are you doing outside? It’s cold out, isn’t it?” they laugh as they pull him inside, placing him gently on the ground. Their head tilts to the side when they saw him shivering so they closed the window and drag him to where the fireplace was well lit and the song “Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics was softly playing in the background, they disappear but reappear to drape a blanket over him to help.

“T-Thank you…” they let out a hum, he looks down at his hands and saw they were wrapped in bandages and his body felt oddly sore, had the shock made him unaware of the pain he was experiencing?

“Bill knows.” his eyes flicker towards Alvah.

“He knows? H-He knows what?”

“… he knows that I’ve been the one helping you.” he jumped to his feet but fell back down when a wave of exhaustion washed over his body, what did Bill do to him? “In the beginning I kind of let him do what he wanted with your body, but he almost took it too far and I had to intervene. Questioned what I was doing so I told him how I was just doing it because it was funny seeing him all angry at the loss of his favorite toy.”

“What did he do?” they snapped their fingers, and he was suddenly in front of his TV and in their hands was a VHS tape.

“You’re really not going to like this.” they put the VHS in the player and watched as the TV spurred to life, they watched Stanford’s face closely, and he was completely stunned. He almost didn’t recognize the wild-eyed hermit staring back on the TV; it was him. Or rather, Bill in his body, from the previous night.

“Welcome back to the puppet hour with Bill! Say hi, kids! Today’s puppet is my old pal Sixer. Sixer’s had a rough day. But his night was rougher, wanna see?” as the TV displayed what exactly happened the night prior, they watched how his face contorted with a range of different emotions; disbelief, shock, anxiousness. On the floor, Bill had graciously littered the floor with polaroids of his adventures with little headings on them. He picked them up slowly but paused when Bill started speaking again, but this time, he heard another voice “What do you think you’re doing?” what he was watching was the moment when Bill was hammering nails into his hand, or, he was planning on hammering nails into his hand. He placed the first nail into the center of his hand but before he could swing the hammer down, his wrist was caught by Alvah grabbing him by Stanford’s shadow.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Cipher? Interfering~” within the restrictions of Stanford’s physical capabilities, he struggled under Alvah’s hold “It was quite funny watching you mess with his body in the beginning, but come on now, doesn’t he need his hands? How are you going to get him to turn the portal on if you mess up his hands?” they’re laughing at the way Bill struggled to free himself from their grip.

“So, you’re the reason sixer hasn’t given up yet!”

“Am I though? Just watching the back-and-forth banter between you two is just so funny! If I didn’t know it, it seems like you need him more than he needs you! I didn’t think you’d be such a clingy, little ex.” Bill manages to throw their hand back, his twisted grin turned into a glare “Oh, but that’s right. You aren’t the one that’s meant to be thrown away, it’s supposed to be the other way around. I just didn’t expect the great and mighty Bill Cipher to be so… desperate.”

“Clingy…? Desperate?!” they continue to laugh.

“Am I wrong?” the video of their interaction ends there but he could tell that any time when Bill attempted to harm his body, Alvah interfered and made sure that not a lot of damage was inflicted on his body. Picking up a polaroid, he found one where a dart from a dart board was lodged into his temple, so he raised his hand and felt more bandages “I don’t think you want to watch this part.” this caused him to look back towards the TV, he watched in confusion as Bill limped towards a payphone and… he punched in Stanley’s phone number, h-he wouldn’t.

“Hey, brother, it’s Sixer. I’m going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, so if you don’t hear from me, I just want you to know that it’s because I never loved you. Buh-byeeeee!” Stanford felt as if his heart was in his throat, but his eyes closed in relief when he heard the dial tone, the pay phone was out of order. The message hadn’t gotten through, he opened his eyes and saw how Bill turned back to address him “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look what you made me make you do! Tomorrow’s tape is gonna be much worse. Want the show to end? Go downstairs and work on the portal. Or I’m gonna have to show you what I’m really made of.” Alvah eyes Stanford as the TV screen turned static, his face seemed to be a mixture of emotions again. This time, however, he looked completely livid. He stood to his feet and ripped the VHS tape out and threw it into the fire, watching it turn to cinders before screaming.

“You have no power here! You’re just in my mind! I can outlast anything you can—” Alvah watches as he halts in all his movements, they let out a sigh when they know that Bill’s power over Stanford must before taking over his mind. They grabbed him by his shadow when he started to sway and placed him back down on his coach, laying him down as his body twitched and trembled due to the chaos going on inside his mind. They loomed over and watched him, his face contorting in pain, his breath becoming heavier as sweat dripped down his face.

I don’t care.

This human means nothing to me.

Their misery is entertainment, that’s all.

But…

They lean closer to his face before letting out a sigh, raising their hand over his face and pressing their index finger the center of his forehead, whispering a few words under their breath and his face visibly relaxes.

"That should be enough... hopefully."

Stanford felt as if his body was paralyzed.

Where am I?

It felt as if his bones were being pulled slowly, slowly out from their sockets.

It was excruciating.

I tried to scream, but nothing came out—

“Think, Sixer. You let me. In. Your. Head. Do you realize what I can do in here if I want? I can flip a switch that makes every neuron burn with pain beyond imagination. I can rewire your optic nerve so that the sky is below you, play a tone that gets louder and louder until you bash your own skull just to make it stop. I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have. What do you want to remember? Your mother’s face? Your own name? Who are you anyway?”

“That’s ridiculous! I’m… I’m…” his tried to think of his name but his mind what completely blank, a snap echoed through his head, and it came to him “I’m Stanf—” and he lost his train of thought again when the snap echoed once more. He pressed his hands to his head when he felt his sockets start to strain. Any and all his tendons would pop, his bones would slinter. He fell to his knees, on the verge of emptying what was in his stomach.

“You’re my property. Don’t forget it. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won’t want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you? And let’s not forget about your Alvah. You think they actually care about you? You think just because they’re still around they’re doing it because they like you? Don’t make me laugh. They don’t care about anything, much less a human with little to no value to them. They are one of the most neutral beings throughout the universe who never picks a side, who would watch a universe burn to cinders than lend a hand, who wouldn’t shed a tear or bat an eye at the sound of screaming and anguished cries! They won’t help you; they won’t save you, and they won’t interfere so long as I—Ah!” Stanford let out a gasp when Bill was suddenly blasted away from him, he felt something embracing him and pulled him back as Bill collected himself and came back “Wha—you! What are you doing here?!” he tried to look up at the figure, but a shadowy hand covered his eyes, their arms wrapped protectively around him as a voice spoke.

“I’ve come to steal your precious little toy, Bill~” they let out a laugh, Stanford shuddered out a breath at the sound of a voice that was made up of what seemed like thousands of screams and cries, possibly even more “You sound like you’re projecting, poor, sweet, little Billy. Are you still mad about what happened all those years ago? Talk about holding a grudge, huh? I was right about that one about you, Bill.” he managed to peek through their hands and saw the way Bill turned a bright shade of red as he got angry, his eye glaring at what he knew was to be Alvah.

“You… why are you choosing to help him?! You don’t even have a contract with him, and yet you’re going to help him?! You’ve never done that for anyone! You’ve always just sat by and watched things happen! You’ve never interfered! You’ve never done anything!”

“Who knows, but I do know that watching you like this is just the best thing I’ve seen in over trillions of years!” Stanford was pushed back, and he was met with the overwhelming sight of a dark black and red storm cloud where you could hear disoriented and agonizing screams “If taking Stanford Pines is what’s going to keep this game going on a little longer, than I’m willing to interfere just to see you become less of what you believe you are, Bill Cipher!”

“I will never forget this!”

Stanford awoke with a fright, shooting upwards and panting out in exhaustion. Looking down, he found himself sitting on his couch but after looking around he found his living room cleaned up with the polaroids pilled together and placed in a shoebox on his coffee table. He stands up and finds a little note sitting on top of the pile, picking it up, he felt his lip tremble as he read it.

‘fine, I may care a little ~ a’

He didn’t care if Alvah was on his side because they found it amusing when Bill threw a tantrum, or because they found it entertaining to watch him lose his mind, but this goes to show that they were willing to keep Bill at bay for him. He holds the note close to him before turning on his heel, he knows what he has to do now.

Meanwhile, the residents of the Nightmare Realm hid in the deepest corners of their dimension in order to keep away from the onslaught that was going on. Bill was screaming out in frustration while Alvah laughed their head off, the two of them in an ongoing battle where the Harbinger of Chaos wasn’t taking anything serious while Bill was trying everything in his power to erase them from existence. Two of the Nightmare Realm’s most powerful beings were fighting because one of going through a messy break up while the other was just bored, the Axolotl would be severely disappointed in them.

…

“And that’s my past with Stanford.” she ended with a fond smile, thinking back to that day thirty years ago. While she was telling this story, she refrained from dropping Bill’s name or any involvement of him and merely referred to him as “his muse”, Ford would be angry if she told them about his deal with Bill instead of him, so she was going to wait “In the beginning I was just an insufferable guest, he came to like me over the course of the portal’s construction and when Fidds left him and went insane, I became a sort of caretaker to him. With how stubborn he is, I’m probably not going to get a thank you out of him.” she stood there and waited for a response, she looked at them and saw the way they were staring up at her with teary eyes.

“You… you really cared for Grunkle Ford.” her face twisted into an incredulous one.

“Care? That’s funny. I cared enough to keep him alive, but I didn’t care enough to keep him out of harms way.” she deadpanned when Mabel wrapped her arms around her legs.

“You’re not denying that you care.” Alvah scoffed as she scooped up Mabel and placed her back down beside Dipper “Then what about Grunkle Stan? Do you care about him? What’s your past with him? When did you two first meet?” she chuckled softly.

“Hmm, that’s something you’ve got to ask him about. Ever since my contract with Stanford, I had kept an eye on anyone relating to him. Albeit friends or family, but I kept my eye on Stanley for a long time.” she places a finger to her chin, looking up in thought “My first genuine meeting with Stanley is something I can’t particularly remember, I was always lingering around in the shadows helping every now and then. But I don’t think he’ll want to discuss such a memory, he’s been distant from me since the reveal, which is understandable.” she raised a brow when she saw the determination on Mabel’s face.

“I will get that backstory, no matter what it takes!” with that the girl rushed off to find Stan, she just shrugged her shoulders with a shake of her head.

“Did you, though?” she hummed at Soos’ question, he shrunk a little as he twiddled his thumbs “Did you actually care about Mr. Pines? O-Or even us? Was everything you did just an obligation?” they didn’t notice the way her face twitched a little, she let out a breath as she looked towards nothing in particular.

“Who knows? But whether I care or not does not change the fact that I am here to protect you. You are under my protection, and I will make it so that Bill does not bring you any more harm.” Dipper flinched at the mention of Bill and rubbed his arms, he looked up and jumped slightly where he sat when he saw Alvah kneel down in front of him “And I am so sorry that I stood by and let you make a deal with him, Dipper. I saw you when he took your body, but I wasn’t allowed to do anything.” she could remember that day as if it were yesterday, when she, Wendy and Soos approached Bipper and when Dipper tried to stop them, he flew through her body. She remembered turning around and seeing the distraught look on his face, but she was forced to look away and pretend she didn’t see him, it really did make her feel remorseful.

“W-Why couldn’t you?”

“You should know about time anomalies, Dipper. That stupid time baby or whatever would be furious if I were to mess with this timeline even more so than I already have, if I were to have prevented such a thing I would get into even more trouble. My contracts can bend a lot of rules, but messing with the flow of time is a definite no.” she took his hat and ruffled his head “Why do you think I was lot more attentive back then?” he thought back to that day and did remember the pained expression on her face when she and Stan brought him to the hospital.

“So, you couldn’t directly interfere with what happened over the summer, but you could intervene as long as you didn’t stop us directly?” she nods “Then, could you tell us what’s going to happen next?” she pressed a finger to her lips as she placed his hat back down on his head.

“I can’t share any spoilers, now, can I?”

“Alvah!” she let out an oh at the sound of her name being called, they all looked up and saw Ford at the door “I need you down in the lab, could you come and assist me?” she saluted him with a smile.

“Coming~” he waits for her behind as she looks back down at Dipper, she winks at him and boops his nose “Duty calls. See you later, sweetpea.” they watch as she turned on her heel and walked out with Ford, her appearance changing back into her male version, the one that Ford prefers. He follows closely behind Ford, chatting with him as he speaks about a rift, and as they pass the living room his eyes catch Mabel and Stanley. He lifted his head up and noticed his brother and Alvah walk into the gift shop, the latter laughing softly as Ford spoke, he flinched when Alvah turned and met his gaze. He twiddled his fingers to greet Stan before turning away and going down into the lab with Ford behind him, he let out a sigh as he fell back into his chair.

“Do you miss her, Grunkle Stan?” he looked down at Mabel before letting out a scoff, crossing his arms and looking away.

“Miss her? After everything? Pah, I say good riddance! Am I a little upset that she’s hanging around my brother now? Maybe. Am I sad that I no longer talk to her anymore? Kind of… but that doesn’t mean anything! Clearly what we had meant nothing to her!” Mabel looked up at him, a brow quirked upwards as he rambled about everything that happened between them would be forgotten sooner or later.

“I didn’t want to bring this up with you, Grunkle Stan, but I saw the night you two dance together.” she had to hold back a squeal when he flinched, his face turning bright red at the thought of that night “I saw the way you looked at her, but I also saw the way she looked at you. She told us how she isn’t able to properly feel emotions, but what I saw that night, I can guarantee you that wasn’t fake. She said it herself; she isn’t a liar.” he let out a groan.

“But she hasn’t be truthful either!” Mabel’s gaze hardened on him.

“Neither have you.” his shoulders slump, she let out a huff “I understand that you’re upset, but from what I can tell, everything she’s done leading up to this point has been on her own accord. Her helping us and everything, and with whatever you two had going on, I’m sure she did it all for a reason.” he rubbed the back of his neck “But she said she couldn’t quite remember when you two first met? She said she was always lingering around and watching, but her first interaction with you, she can’t really recall it.” he let out a breath as he leaned against the table, looking up in thought.

“First interaction, first interaction…” her fingers were crossed, repeatedly thinking in her head “please remember, please remember”, he then shoots up and snaps his fingers “Oh, yeah! I totally remember!” she’s quick to take a seat beside him, looking up at him excitedly.

“Really? What happened?”

“Well, it was when the Mystery Shack was finally getting some traction.” it was just like any other day at the Mystery Shack, people come in, he lies through his teeth about the attractions in his house while sprinkling jokes in every now and then before scamming those poor suckers out of their money. It was at the end of the day when the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes upon approached him at the counter, he was at a loss for words as she looked at him. She had blonde hair that was the softest tone of blonde that he’d compared to sand on a beautiful sunny day, eyes as green as freshly cut grass that shun like an emerald if the sun hit them just right. Compared to these hicks, she was wearing elegant and formal clothing, so she stood out compared to the rest of the crowd.

She was like a gem amongst a pile of rocks.

“Good evening, Mr. Mystery.” she giggled softly as he gawked at her, his eyes blinking rapidly as she spoke to him in a soft voice, she laughed when he pointed at himself with a confused look “Well, yes. Is there anyone else that goes by the title of Mr. Mystery?” he cleared his throat and quickly collected himself, pulling on his collar but unable to cover the flush that spread across his cheeks.

“I guess not. I am the one and only, Mr. Mystery.” he holds his hand out to her “The name’s Stan Pines, pleasure to meet you.” she takes his hand and shakes it.

“I am Alvah, it’s lovely to meet you too.” she took her hand back and continued to smile up at Stan, he let out a nervous laugh.

“Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you.”

“I’ve been around here and there, but normally keep to myself. I heard the attraction going around these parts and decided to pay a visit to the “Mystery Shack” everybody was raving about.” she hummed softly as she gently flicked a jar of eyeballs “And I have to say, I see what all the hype is about. You have a very fascinating collection on your hands. Did you hunt them down yourself?” she slowly raised her brow when he pulled on his tie.

“Ah haha, well. You could say I did, I mean, they’re here now, aren’t they?”

“I suppose so.” they both noticed how the tourist was beginning to leave so Alvah took that as her cue to leave as well, she twiddled her fingers at him to bid him goodbye and proceeded to walk away but stopped when he called out to her.

“Hey!” she stopped in her tracks and turned back to him, curious at what he had to say “Will you come again?” she tilts her head to the side.

“Are you personally asking me to come again? I’m honored.” she giggled when he scoffed, messing with his tie again “I’ll come back every now and then. I’ll go broke if I come back every day with how much you charge.”

“Y-You can come back any time! Hehe, free of charge…” she hummed softly, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow, Stan.” she winks at him before walking out the door, unbeknownst to her, he had the derpiest grin on his face as he waved her goodbye.

“Hehe, you’ve still got it, Stanley.” now he couldn’t help but scowl at the memory “I believe she only did that out of pity. Oh wait, she can’t feel pity, now, can she? She must have saw how pathetic I looked and decided then and there would be when she asserted herself with that appearance, knowing it would ruin me.” Mabel placed a hand on his arm and gave it a light squeeze “I knew… I knew that smile was just too good to be true. She outconned me.”

“Well… what if she meant it? Didn’t she say that everything she’s done leading up to now, she’s never lied to you.” his resolve softened a little before shaking his head upon realizing what she said.

“How do you know that? We were alone when she said that.” Mabel let out a nervous laugh.

“Ah hahaha, were you? I totally wasn’t listening in on your conversation. Nope, not at all.” Stan shook his head and gently ruffled her head.

“Our first meeting wasn’t anything special. She was just a tourist who claimed to be fascinated by what the Mystery Shack had to offer, but she’s probably seen even grander things than this junk house.” with that his face saddened once more, seemingly missing the bond both he and Alvah had before the cat got out of the bag, he had almost wished she wasn’t who she claimed to be.

“Do you hate her?” there it was again, this time spoken by his niece.

“… I don’t know.” Mabel just couldn’t stand for this. She may just be twelve years old, but that’s old enough for her to see what Stan and Alvah had. She saw the way they looked at each other, the way they spoke to each other and how could she forget that tender and intimate moment they shared on that night. This mishap couldn’t be the undoing of their relationship, and she’ll make sure of it “H-Hey, kiddo, where are you going?” he asked when she jumped off the stool and started running towards the vending machine.

“Just to ask Alvah a couple questions!” he stood to his feet, reaching his hand out to stop her but was too late when she punched in the code to the vending machine and walked down the hallway to Ford’s lab. Back with Alvah, he was currently leaning over Ford’s shoulder as they were discussing their plan to seal a leakage caused by Stanley reactivating the portal once more.

“So… are you really not going to thank Stanley?” he let out a scoff.

“Thank him? For what?”

“Well, for returning you back to your dimension. Surely you must feel some sort of gratitude.” he leans back when Ford turned around, giving Alvah an irritated expression.

“He was the reason I fell in in the first place. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have had to be in there.” he hums softly.

“That is true, then how about impressed?” this got a short chuckle out of him.

“Impressed by what?”

“Well, how about him teaching himself about quantum physics? Reconstructing the portal with only having a third of the portal’s instructions, completely unaware there were more instructions due to the invisible ink? Building it all by himself while also maintaining a business that was so successful and also looking after his great niece and nephew? He had no help either. Not from McGucket, Bill or even me.” he raised his finger, wagging it side to side in front of Ford’s face “If anything, your brother is goddamn genius. He has my praise.” he laughed when Ford smacked his hand away.

“You’re giving him too much credit if you’re calling him a genius.” he shrugged and allowed his body to float, leaning backwards and resting his head in his hands.

“What can I say? For a high school dropout who had no further education for himself, I am very impressed that he managed to reconstruct the portal the way he did. He had almost completed it by the time he got his hands on journal two and three, and it didn’t take him too long to complete it.” he smirked down at Ford, giving him a toothy grin “If that doesn’t make him a genius, then pardon me.”

“You seem to like Stanley a lot. When we first met, you did nothing but ridicule me.”

“Hah! Of course, I told you it was because you were stupid enough to fall for Bill’s flattery. The self-proclaimed genius who didn’t even realize he was being played. Unlike you, Stanley is emotionally intellectual. Though he didn’t admit it, he knew there was something wrong with me, always questioned why someone like me would hang around him. Sure, it was the same between you and Bill, but he had you in the palm of his hand in a couple hours. Stanley was a harder nut to crack. He liked the fact that he was getting attention from a beautiful woman, but he was so guarded it took a couple years for him to fully allow me in. Hmm, but I believe we’re back in square one now.” he shrugged his shoulders “He also makes me laugh.” this earned an eyeroll.

“Yes, yes, because all you care about is whether or not you are entertained.” he snapped his fingers, now leaning forward.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Alvah!” both men jump at the loud call, turning around, they see Mabel abruptly enter the room with a determined look on her face. Ford briefly looks up at Alvah and saw him change back into their female appearance, he noticed that they tend to do that around the children and Stan’s employees.

“What is it, sweetheart?” she answered, continuing to float in the air but this time positioning herself as if she was in a chair with her legs crossed “How may I assist you now?” she let out a yelp when Mabel grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her down. She now sat on her knees as Mabel held her by her collar, staring her in the eyes with a serious look, a bead of sweat bled down the side of her face.

“How do you feel about Grunkle Stan?” she let out a sigh as she slumped in her hold.

“This again? Are you ever going to let this go, Mabel?” she allowed the young girl to thrash her around and hang by her grip.

“How can I?! His feelings are all over the place ever since learning that you were lying who you were all this time.” she muttered under her breath that she didn’t exactly lie if she didn’t tell the full truth, she was kicked by Ford, who promptly looked away when she looked back up at him “It’s up to me to clear up this entire misunderstanding. To help you fully understand your feelings for Grunkle Stan.” she only deadpanned.

“Good luck with that, kid. This body isn’t exactly designed to comprehend emotions, I don’t even have a personality to call my own.”

“That’s really sad.” Mabel let her go and she allowed herself to fall to the ground, the young brunette stepped over her and rushed towards Ford, who awkwardly stared down at her in mild curiosity “Grunkle Ford, do you have anything that can project people’s thoughts?” this caused Alvah to look up at Ford, who he himself looked up in thought while rubbing his chin.

“Do I have something that can project people’s thoughts? Why, that’s very specific. If only I—hah! Of course I do.” he continued to rub his chin as he debated whether it would be a good idea “As much as I’d like to decline the usage of this machinery, I am also more curious as to what you have been up to with my brother the past three decades.” Alvah let out a huff as she pushed herself off the ground and began to float again.

“And why should I allow you to use this on me? It’s quite dangerous to peer into the mind of the embodiment of chaos. Aren’t you afraid you’ll end up like McGucket?” Mabel let out a laugh.

“Psh, like you’d let that happen. You like me too much, and besides, I’m adorable! Would you deny this cute face?” Mabel doesn’t wait to answer as she turned back to look up at Ford to ask, or rather plead, to use the device he mentioned. This left him to look up at Alvah and see the way she pouted with a tinge of pink flushing her cheeks, she was trying so hard to deny Mabel’s claims but was ultimately failing. That’s where she found herself sitting on the chair in front of five monitors, sitting particularly in front of a large screen while two smaller ones were to her right and left. If she remembered correctly, Ford dubbed this device as Project Mentem as a defense against Bill, which main functionality was that it could scan one’s mind and bioelectrically encrypt one’s thoughts “So we just put this thingamajig on her head and we can see her thoughts?” Mabel asked as she held the helmet in her hands, Ford nodded as he took it from her and approached Alvah.

“It’s much more complicated than that, but yes, that’s basically what it does.” she looked up at him and saw he had a cheeky grin on his face, she sneered at him while shaking her head.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he chuckles softly.

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To see the thoughts of an actual deity is something I wouldn’t have imagined. I thank you greatly for this, Mabel. You children have quite the rein on Alvah.” she just shook her head; he placed the helmet on her head then pushed a couple buttons on the control console to which it on. All five screens spurred to life and the room illuminated with a green light, the two wait patiently for something to appear on the screen but were left confused when it remained blank.

“Is it working?” Mabel asked, his face furrowed in confusion as he pushed a couple buttons.

“It should be.” she snickered softly.

“You’re going to have to try and little harder than that. If you want me to think about something specifically, you have to ask~ I can blank out my mind all willy nilly. Either that or I overload your machine. My mind has a vast amount of information.” Ford huffed at her, it was never going to be that easy “Of course not.” she stuck her tongue out at him when he glared at her, she turned her attention to Mabel when she approached her, grabbing her by the legs and looking up at her with a serious expression.

“Think about your first real encounter with Grunkle Stan.” this sparked something within her mind and the screens behind her displayed her first real encounter with Stanley. Mabel was expecting the same thing Stan told her but was greatly surprised to see something entirely different, both herself and Ford took a step towards the monitors to try and figure out what they were looking at but couldn’t quite place it.

“The first time I met Stanley was when you wanted me to give him that postcard, Ford.” his eyes widened when he saw Alvah’s male appearance appear on the monitor walking across an empty street to approach a rundown motel, he glared at a pedestrian that bumped into him but ignored them in favor to accomplish the task at hand. He looked at the postcard once more and shook his head at the lack of information on it, in handwriting unbecoming of Stanford that read “PLEASE COME”. He just shrugged his shoulders and walked through the parking lot and towards the various rooms, Mabel let out a soft gasp when she saw Alvah walk past the Stanmobile, so this really was her first meeting with Stan. His hand glides across the many doors until stopping at one in particular, he looks at the mailing address once more before raising his fist and knocking on the door “I have a postcard for Stanley Pines~” he called out as he repeatedly knocked on the door, Alvah had all the time in the world, so he continuously knocked on the door until it swung open. Stanford already knew that this was thirty years into the past but seeing the disgruntled version of his brother was something that caught him off guard, it almost felt like it was yesterday he saw this worn-out version of Stanley.

“Alright, alright! Don’t you see the mail slot?” Alvah just chuckled as he held the postcard between his two fingers.

“Sorry, but the sender wanted me to make sure you got your hands on this. Didn’t want this getting lost in the mail.” he holds it out for him to take and as Stanley reaches to take it, he cheekily pulled it back “Make sure not to lose this.” he laughed when it was snatched out of his hands while the shorter man glared at him, he just backed away slightly while raising his hands up.

“Whatever man.” the door is then slammed shut, Alvah rolled his eyes as he dusted his hands off.

“Welp, did what I was supposed to do.” with his task done he snapped his fingers and returned to Gravity Falls, the memory ends and they look towards Alvah “My very first impression of Stanley Pines was that of a pathetic human who had hit rock bottom. I was honestly surprised that this was the brother that caused you so much discontent, Ford. This was the so-called man who “ruined your life”, talk about living up to what little his name had other than disappointment.” Alvah was smacked in the leg by Mabel, who glared up at her after hearing what she had to share about Stanley.

“That isn’t very nice, Alvah.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Well, that was me in the beginning, when I was still just Fordsy’s little shadow. After you disappeared into the portal and I was stuck in this hick town, I remained within Stanley’s shadow.” the monitors flicker on once more and they watched as she watched over him, while he worked days and nights to repair the portal and would fall asleep at his desk trying to solve Stanford’s notes. She would appear behind him and instead of returning him upstairs, she would retrieve a pillow and blanket and drape it over him so he would be more comfortable. When the Mystery Shack was slowly building up fame, she would be out influencing people to go pay a visit to the man displaying a world of mystery, and it was on that very day Alvah finally became the woman she was to the Pines Family “My opinion of Stanley changed over time. You could say his devotion to bring you back and to fix his mistake, dedicating his life to save you swayed my feelings about him. There was nothing more to it.”

“Can you think of the instance you felt something for Grunkle Stan? Something that wasn’t displeasure or just an obligation to look after him? Something that had caught you off guard.” they watched as she furrowed her brows as multiple instances went by, but nothing stood out until she slowly perked up.

“It was… the year before you two were supposed to have arrived. It was your birthday.” this startled Ford a little “Stanley never celebrated your guy’s birthday, I knew the reason, but he told me it was because he didn’t really have anybody to celebrate it with. I wasn’t around in the beginning because I was doing other stuff, but apparently, he planned a whole party. He spent hours writing up comedy roasts about his employees, but in the end… nobody came.” they look back towards the monitors and are met with Alvah walking down a street where she accidentally bumped into Soos.

“Miss Alvah!” she smiled at him, waving her hand to greet him.

“How are you, Soos? Today’s a lovely day for a stroll, is it not?” she raised a brow at the glum look on his face “What’s the matter, big guy?” he let out a sigh as he took his hat off and rubbed the back of his head.

“Mr. Pines is celebrating his birthday this afternoon, but I won’t be able to make it. My Abuelita needs my help all afternoon and I won’t be able to make it.” that and the fact that he himself didn’t exactly like celebrating his birthday caused her to nod her head “I was hoping you would tell him I said happy birthday. There’s no way you would miss it!” she didn’t even realize it was their birthday that day, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Of course I will. I’m sure he’ll be saddened without you in attendance, Soos. Give your Abuelita my regards, sweetheart.” she let out an oof when he pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly while lifting her off the ground.

“Thank you so much, Alvah!” he puts her down and rushes off, waving his hand goodbye as he ran off “I’ll make sure to make it up to you!” she kept up her happy face and the moment he disappeared her face relaxed as she looked away.

“I spent the rest of that afternoon looking for a gift for Stanley. He is quite easy to please, so I found a vintage and expensive wine, but the hard part was finding a cake.” she laughed softly at the memory, the monitors display her at multiple bakeries and pastry stores in search of a cake but for some reason they were all sold out “In the end I had to make the cake myself. It didn’t end… quite well.” the monitors flickered to her attempting to make a cake but instead setting a kitchen on fire with a panicked look on her face, by the time the sun was beginning to fall she had finally made a decent looking and tasting cake after many trials and errors. She found herself in front of his front door and proceeded to knock on it continuously until it was thrown open, she pulled her hand back when he looked ready to shout at whoever was knocking before pausing when he realized who exactly was in front of him.

“… Alvah?” she let out a soft laugh as she leaned forward to take in his appearance.

“Haha, what happened to your eyebrow? Did you burn it off?” she questioned as she reached forward and brushed a few of his locks out of his face to get a look at the singed hair, she giggled when he smacked her hand away and turned away to hide it.

“No! Anyways, what are you doing here?” he sputtered backwards when she lifted something up with a bright smile on her face.

“It’s your birthday! I came to celebrate with you.” he stares at the rather pretty looking cake as she pulled something out and saw it was a bottle of wine “I would have come earlier but would you believe it? The whole town was out of cake, so I had to make one out of scratch. Let’s just say I’m not particularly good at baking.” she titled her head to the side when she noticed he was just staring at the cake.

“You made this… for me?”

“Who else would I make this for?” she pushes him inside and closes the door behind her, he follows her like a lost puppy as she walks into the kitchen and places the cake on the table. He takes a seat as she grabs two glasses out of the cabinet and places one in front of Stan and another where she was going to sit, she uncorks the bottle and pours them both a glass before pulling out a candle and placing it in the center of the cake “Soos wanted to be here as well, but you know how he is around birthdays. And besides, having a simpler birthday is much better than going all out. Saves you a lot of money, doesn’t it?” she finally took a seat at the table and stared at him with a fond look in her eye, leaning against the table with the side of her head resting on her knuckles.

“You…” she hummed softly.

“Happy birthday, Stan.” Alvah’s face turned confused when Stan abruptly stood up and walked over to her, she was startled when he pulled her out of the chair and wrapped his broad arms around her, embracing her in a rather bone crushing hug. Her eyes widened as he buried his face within her shoulder, her arms were pinned to her side while her head was over his shoulder, she managed to twist it a little to try and look at him but noticed the way he nuzzled into her shoulder to hide the fact that he was tearing up “S-Stan? Are you—”

“Thank you, Alvah. I really, really needed this.” Mabel and Ford noticed the way her eyes twitch when Stan tightened his grip on her, she managed to slowly lift her arms up the best she could and gently pat his back.

“O-Oh, it’s no problem. You know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Stan.” she purposefully didn’t address him as Ford because that would have saddened him and taken his special moment away from him. They stayed like that for a couple seconds until Stan finally let her go but continued to hold her by the arms, she tilted her head to the side to get a look at his face but saw him turn away to hide his tear-stricken eyes “Hah, are you crying?” he frees one of his hands to cover his eyes, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“No! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he flinches when she pulled him forward by the hand that was holding her so she could cup his cheek, he blinks at her and felt her wipe away a few of his tears while smiling softly at him.

“Come on, tough guy. You don’t have to hide your vulnerability from me, I’m not going to make fun of you.” he huffed at her as she takes her hand back, he sniffles a little and wipes away the remaining tears and gives her a toothy grin.

“I appreciate this a lot, toots! I’m gonna go find a lighter so I can light this candle! I’ll be back in a sec!” she waves him off and stands in the kitchen alone, Mabel and Ford soon notice the way her smile dropped from her face as she looked down at the wooden floor with a conflicted expression. On the smaller monitors they saw a flurry of words come across the screen, words that had her questioning herself.

WHAT IS THIS?

WHY DID I DO THAT?

WHY DID I DO THIS?

I DON’T CARE FOR HIM.

I’M DOING THIS FOR STANFORD.

THIS MEANS NOTHING TO ME.

I DON’T ACTUALLY FEEL...

“In the beginning, I didn’t feel anything.” Alvah spoke as she stared at the monitor when Stan walked back into the kitchen with a lighter in hand and in a chipper mood, she smiled at him and the two sat at the table where he lit the candle and blew it out with a face that reminded her of a child on their birthday “I knew he was going to drink himself into a stupor had I not arrived, but I didn’t expect to feel...” Mabel looked up at her, a curious look in her eyes.

“What?” her eyes flicker towards the monitor and saw only one word.

“Pity.” coming from her, it could be condescending, but by the remorseful look on her face as she stared at Stan’s face, they knew that she meant it in a genuine way “He just looked so sad, like a kicked puppy out in the rain. I had watched him at even worser times than that, but for some reason, actually being there made it different.” soon the summer played out for them and Mabel watched every interaction she had with Stan, and she watched intently as the way Alvah’s eyes started to look genuine.

“Alvah, you...”

“It was nothing. The personality I adapted was merely to match his own, but...” since the children were always off doing their own thing, they never knew the type of relationship she and Stan actually had. Ford witnessed firsthand the closeness she had with his brother and Mabel concealed her excitement of the hidden lore her great uncle had with this interdimensional being “My mind had been inside a human body for so long that it started acting like it, started feeling like it.” Mabel looked away to look up at Alvah after watching the memory where Alvah and Stan danced at the party where she first met Candy and Grenda.

“Feeling?” her face scrunched up and instead of just Stan, it showed the children, Soos, Wendy and a few others as she thought of each emotion.

“Anger. Sadness. Joy. Remorse. Guilt.” the memory of when the children were forced to be sent back home when Gideon had won and they couldn’t do anything about it, how when they did win, she felt an immeasurable amount of guilt inside her because she knew this was going to happen but it was at the cost of the possibly of the children losing that had her mind racing. The next scene had Ford’s eyes widened to the point his eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets while Mabel let out a squeal, that was because it was when Stan had kissed her “L-Love...”

“You kissed my brother?!” he was shocked to see her face a bright shade of pink, she suddenly sprung to her feet as she placed a hand on her chest.

“No! He kissed me! And it’s not like I continued to think about that moment! It was just a spur of the moment and Stan probably would have done it to anyone that was next to him! It didn’t mean anything at that moment!”

"... I didn't, NOT, like it." she looked like a dear caught in headlights when her thoughts were exposing herself "You just... caught me off guard, is all. I wasn't expecting it."

"Oh? So, are you saying if I were to kiss you again, you wouldn't protest?"

"Don't push your luck, Stan. Just because I said I liked it; doesn't mean you'll get a taste anytime you want." Alvah refused to look up at Ford from where she was sitting because she knew that man was going to strangle her, however, Mabel was in front of her and started shaking her arm.

“So you two were in love! That’s so cute!” she let out a scoff, face still flushed with embarrassment from being caught while throwing her hair over her shoulder.

“Psh, in love? That was the only time--”

"Stan... Stan, s-stop it!" Mabel was busy staring at Alvah so she didn’t see what memory was playing but Ford was, and to think he’d wish for the day he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Before Mabel could see what was playing Alvah hurriedly lifted the helmet off her head and the monitors switched off, they both look up at her and saw the look of shame on her face. She pushes the helmet into Ford’s hands before slowly kneeling on the floor and curling up into a ball, her hands clutching her head “I wasn’t supposed to get attached... I wasn’t supposed to gain human feelings.�� Mabel knelt down and placed her hand on her back, gently rubbing circles into her back to comfort her.

“But you did, and it looks like it’ll really upset you if Stan started to hate you.” her face scrunches up in confusion.

“I am hated by millions of people just for simply existing. I am the devil on people’s shoulders who they blame for why their lives have fallen apart. I am so used to being the source of their hatred that I never once cared for the opinions of beings lesser than I am. But... I—I can’t stand the thought of Stan not liking me anymore.” she looked up at Mabel with a sort of desperation in her eyes “I wasn’t supposed to care, but I hate that I do now.”

“And I’m happy that you care.” Alvah huffed “Now just repeat what you just said now and go say it to Grunkle Stan.” this snapped her out of whatever melt down she was having; she stood to her feet and shook her head.

“No way! He doesn’t need this now!” Mabel shook her head and took Alvah by her hands.

“But he does! He looks so lost without you. You two were always together throughout the summer, and not having you by his side is making him upset.” this caused her to start overthinking everything, should I actually tell him how I feel? Should I say sorry? Should I--

“Wait a minute, why I am taking the advice of a twelve-year-old?” she suddenly glares at her “I don’t got to listen to you! I am going to deny the fact that I have feelings for this old man and suffer in silence. Yes, that sounds much better.” Mabel face fell.

“What? No! Are you seriously not going to tell Stan that it was him that caused you to develop human feelings? That it was him that got you to care?”

“The last thing I need to hear is him gloating that he got an agent of chaos to fall in love with him. And besides, I highly doubt he wants me dating his brother.” at the mention of that, they both look at Ford and saw the way he was shaking his head at the thought “So, we are going to leave what we have just discovered in this very room. I don’t want to hear any of this outside this room. I don’t want to have to talk about the fact that I’ve grown soft. This conversation stays and dies here. Got it?”

“But--” Alvah gives her a sharp look, Mabel let out a sigh and kicked at the floor “Got it.” she nods. Mabel leaves dejected that Alvah wasn’t going to do anything about this but she was determined to help her confess her feelings to Stan, yes, with a newfound determination, she was going to play cupid once more. Alvah stood in the room with Ford staring at her with an incredulous expression, she turns her attention to him with narrowed eyes.

“You don’t get to speak. You had a relationship with a triangle.” she holds her hand up to keep him away when his face turned red from embarrassment “Oh, my muse~ I would do anything for you, even if it means the collapse of my mind, body and soul! Ooo, woe is me!”

“Stop talking!”

“So poetic, Fordsy!”

season 2, episode 13. dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons

after the fiasco that was the reveal of alvah’s true feelings, she had now taken it to the point of avoiding everyone and keeping herself in the basement unless she’s needed.

that being said, mabel would come bursting into the lab and attempt to drag her upstairs so she could interact with them all, especially with stan.

she swore never to talk about what happened, but she never said she wouldn’t do anything about it.

dipper was really confused as to why mabel was more love crazy than usual.

he felt sorry for the poor sucker his sister had her sights on this time.

ford found it amusing seeing her act like a deer caught in headlights whenever she spotted stan before he saw her.

it went so far as to her jumping out a window.

she fixed it immediately.

anyways-

“Alvah... Alvah...!” Dipper shook the empty body that was Alvah until it stirred to life, her eyes blinked to life and looked around before settling on him in confusion. Ford explained to them that her body in this dimension was merely a vessel for her to take control of so whenever she was “sleeping”, it was actually her signing off and returning to her main body. Dipper calling for Alvah warranted her attention and caused her to come back to see what the young boy wanted, she didn’t expect to see him staring at her with a pleading but enthusiastic expression as he held a book in front of her “Alvah? Yes! Um, hey! Do you want to play Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons with me and great uncle Ford? He’s already agreed to play with me and two players is enough but three players would be even better! But you don’t have to play with us, I’m sure you’ve got even more important matters to attend to that I probably pulled you out of. You can totally say no! It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Ah haha, heee...” she stared at him with a rather scrutinizing gaze as she looked between him, the book and Ford standing behind him.

...

She now found herself laying on her side with a thirty-eight-sided die in her hand, shaking it within the palm of her hand before tossing it onto the play mat where the other two nerds leaned down close to see what she rolled, she chuckled softly when Dipper cheered that she rolled a high roll while Ford sighed bitterly. Whether it be the fact that within this flesh bag she had grown soft or it was just the children having a way with her, she couldn’t deny Dipper’s plea to play his favorite role-playing game with him and Ford. She was well aware of the concept of Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons after watching Ford and Fiddleford play it during their time building the portal and how it was similar to a different game, but she allowed him to explain it to her in great detail while giving her an already made character for her to play with.

“Are you sure you’re not cheating, Alvah?” she scoffed, twisting her body so that she was laying on her back with her legs crossed, bouncing her knee every now and then.

“Maybe you just suck at this game, Ford.” she smirked when she got a snicker out of Dipper, Ford hmphed at her while she stuck her tongue out at him. Dipper was having even more fun because instead of having figurines representing their characters, Alvah was using her powers to bring them to life while also creating a real layout of the story Ford created for their characters to move around. Both Alvah and Ford were magic casters, though Alvah was a sorcerer and he was wizard, while Dipper was a little ranger. Quite the odd party, but Alvah refused to be anything else “What are we up to now?” he hummed softly as he rolled a die between his fingers.

“Alright, you enter the chamber. Princess Unattainabelle beckons you. But wait, it’s a trap!” she rolled her eyes as Dipper gasps “An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying.” Dipper hands Alvah a couple die for her to roll as he and Ford shake their fists to scramble their own die within their closed fists.

“You know his weakness, right?” Ford grins at Dipper.

“Prime statistical anomalies over thirty-seven but not exceeding fifty-one.” the two throw their rolls down first, Dipper taps her shoulder and she throws down her die and allows them to tally up the amount “Yes! Ungh! In your face, cardboard wizard!” the older man hummed softly as he picked up the little cardboard screen meant for the DM to look at the main antagonist.

“Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different than he did back in my day.” Dipper nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, they change the art every few years. Thankfully, you missed the period when the creators of the game tried to make it cooler.” this got a chuckle out of Alvah, he shuddered at the memory “Must’ve been dark times, those 90’s.” he spoke as he picked up a red card, even Ford grimaced.

“Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions.”

“Great uncle Ford, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Where were you before you came out of that machine, and what have you and Alvah been doing down here? Are you two working on something behind that curtain?” this question caused the two of them to look at each other, she shrugged her shoulders and gestured for him to speak.

“Dipper, it’s best if you and the family stay away from that subject. Honestly, I’m not sure any of you could handle the real answer.”

“But-- But I can handle it.” Ford raised his finger to cut him off.

“Ah-ah. But I can show you a little something I brought back with me.” they watch as he pulled out a little red bag from his pocket and empty the contents out beside him, a few more die spilled out from it but a peculiar black box caught their attention, her eyes widened when he opened it.

“Is that... an infinity sided die?” she asked, Dipper looked at it in awe as Ford nodded his head as the young boy watched the symbols continuously change.

“That’s so cool... and impossible.” Ford opened his mouth to explain but let out a soft gasp when the die flew out of the case and into the hands of Alvah, who held it close to her eye while turning it over.

“I haven’t seen one of these suckers since the last galaxy was formed. I’m pretty sure these things are outlawed in over nine thousand dimensions.” Dipper gasped at that.

“Why?”

“Well, take a look at the symbols. Infinite sides mean infinite outcomes. If you rolled it, anything could happen. Your faces could melt into jelly. The world could turn into an egg... or you could just roll an eight. Who knows?” she huffed when Ford snatched it out of her hand and placed it back into the case, closing it before she could take it again.

“And that's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case.” she scoffed with a laugh.

“How safe.” he ignored her.

“Now, back to the game!” Dipper had a splendid time playing DDMD with Ford and Alvah, she may not have been engaged like they were but at least she put in the effort to play with them and with her powers making it all come to life just felt magical to him.

“I had so much fun! Thank you so much great uncle Ford, Alvah!” she twiddled her fingers from behind Ford.

“Perhaps you could make the next one, sweetheart. I just know you’re full of ideas, Dipper.” he lights up.

“Does that mean you’ll play again?” she gave shrug but nodded her head.

“Yeah, sure.” she huffed softly when he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her close, she leaned down to hug him back while patting his back “Perhaps you should go back upstairs. You’ve been down here all day, and surely it takes a lot of time to create a new adventure.” he pulls away from her, snapping his fingers at her.

“You’re right! I’ve got a lot of thinking to do! Thanks again!” they both wave him goodbye as he ran to the elevator to head back to the shack, the both of them drop their friendly facades and turn back to where the curtain Dipper previously mentioned was.

“So, you’re really going to keep this between us?” he spoke, his body naturally turning back into his male form “He’s going to figure it out, whether he stumbles down here accidentally again or you tell him yourself.” Ford let out a sigh as he looked over the console, tapping his fingers across the metal surface.

“Stanley told me to stay away from the children, but so far, it’s been proven difficult because they keep approaching me. Or rather, they keep approaching me since you’re around.” he shrugged.

“I’ve been looking after those kids the entire summer. I’m surprised they still even want to hang around me.” he said as he laced his fingers and cracked his knuckles above his head ”Anyways, where were we before Dipper interrupted us?” he approached the side of him with a sort of glass case in his hands.

“Cleaning up my brother’s mess.”

“Ah, right.” he entered the portal room and it took Ford a second to register what he said.

“Hey, wait! What do you mean we? You were in the Nightmare Realm, dammit!”

that entire week mabel and stan were preparing for the duck-tective finale and the day had finally arrived.

mabel invited grenda to come over and watch it with them, she was more than happy to attend.

stan, mabel and grenda enter the living room and were shocked to see ford and dipper had taken over the room, it being littered with papers of various equations from their ddmd campaign.

they were even surprised to see alvah laying behind ford covered in papers herself.

she was "asleep" after failing a saving throw and her character was killed off so she returned to the nightmare realm to take care of some business as she waited for them to finish but continued to use her powers to bring their game to life.

they pleaded with them to move their game to a different room so they could watch their show but they were very adamant that they couldn't, saying they were going for a world record.

stan takes it upon himself to remove a few of the graph papers but ford caught him by the wrist, halting him in his tracks.

"Move that and pay the price." Ford threatened, his grip on his brother tight to prevent him from reaching any further.

"Oh, what, fifty magical dwarf dollars?"

"Don't mock our fantastical monetary system!"

"I'll mock all I want. It's my TV room."

"It's my house! You..." Ford takes a breath, sighing to himself as he squeezes the bridge of his nose "Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you that if you joined us, you might actually have fun? I mean, Alvah didn't need to but joined for Dipper's sake. I'm sure they'd love it if you played with us as well." Stan's gaze hardened at the mention of her.

"What? Now you listen to me. As long as I live, I will never--" he snatches the bag of Ford's dice out of his hands, ignoring Dipper shouting at him to wait "Ever. Play your smarty-pants nerd game!" he declares before throwing it to the ground, spilling all the dice out onto the floor including the case that secured the infinity-sided die. Ford and Dipper watch in a panic as the case opens and the die bounces out and lands on a wizard symbol, the dice sparked onto the cover of the DDMD box and they all watch as the characters from the game come to life.

"Mortals of Dimension 46'\, kneel before me and..." he rolls a couple die and throws them onto the board, leaning down to get a look at what he rolled before grinning menacingly at them "snivel! I am Probabilitor, the greatest wizard in all mathology, give or take an error of 0.4."

"Uh, is this normal?" Stan questions as they all back away, Mabel and Grenda grabbing Alvah to pull her unconscious body away.

"Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime, because we're the smartest players you've ever met?"

"You are the smartest players I've ever met. That's why I'm going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence. Especially that one lying there. It's what I do."

"It's his thing."

"What?!" Dipper turns and grabs Alvah by her collar, shaking her body back and forth "Alvah! Come back! Come back right now! The game came to life and they're going to eat our brains!" Ford throws his coat back to reveal the gun strapped to his waist, he pulls it out and spins it around his finger before aiming it towards Probabilator.

"Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot!"

“Math ray!” Ford grits his teeth when he feels a blast of wind blows past him after shielding his eyes from the bright light that came from the man before him, he thought he was going to be thrown out of the room but was surprised to see a sort of red force field shield them all from the attack. A groan came from behind him so he looked back and saw it was Alvah slowly pulling herself up from the floor while her hand was shining a soft hue of red, Dipper let out a sigh of relief that he managed to get through to her and her body instinctively put up a shield to keep them out of harm's way.

“I wasn’t even gone for that long, and you guys managed to get yourselves into trouble?” she’s on her feet now ripping off the graph papers they so rudely stuck on her when her body was unoccupied, it was when she took off the one stuck to her face was when she paused and stared at Probabilator when she turned around and started to leave “Good luck, you guys.” they stare at her in shock. As she passes Stan, he caught her by the arm to stop her in her tracks, and though the situation is dire, Mabel doesn’t miss the way Alvah flinches when he turns her around.

“What do you mean good luck? Didn’t you say you’d keep us out of danger?!” she gave a shrug, face turning a soft pink under his gaze.

“I did, but didn’t I also tell you I can’t directly interfere with events in time? This so happens to be one of them.” she then points behind her with her thumb “I’ll just be in the background. I’ll make sure you guys don’t die under my watch; I promise.”

“What?!”

“You guys are going to have so much fun! Family bonding, yaddy yaddy yah! The whole shebang. I can’t just obliterate him out of existence, that’d be cheating.” she takes her arm back and goes to walk off again but this time Probabilator causes her to freeze.

“Obliterate? Hah! With that mediocre display of magic? I have a hard time believing that!” Stan watched how her face twitched and how she fought down what he believes was anger and irritation.

“Mediocre...? Me? My magic is mediocre? Me!” she startled them when she suddenly grabbed Stan and shook him while glaring at him, and while it wasn’t directed at him it still scared him to see the angry side of Alvah “If you think you can get away with calling me mediocre, you’ve got another thing com—no, no.” she let Stan go and approached Probabilator with the intentions of strangling him but managed to rein herself in before she could lay hands on him “No, no, no. You can’t do anything, Alvah. Calm yourself. Be the bigger person and let it go. Yes, that is what you’re supposed to do.” she nods her head and starts walking away.

“Is she oka--” Dipper cut himself off when she came rushing back in.

“No, I’m not.” they were taken aback when she punched him square in the face that she probably broke his nose, he fell to the ground with a cry but he also threw his staff in the air, and she caught it and stared at the die at the end of it before turning her gaze down at Probabilator “Here’s a lesson on magic. Though it varies depending on which dimension you’re in, they all circulate around the same thing. Magic is recognized as the use of mana to create phenomena, outside the limits of normal science. The usage of magic has varying degrees, with only the skill, personal power-level, imagination/knowledge, and/or morality to define the borders of the magician's limits.” as she explained, they watched as she started drawing a magic circle in the air that glowed an ominous red “Magic is all about bringing something that didn’t exist into reality, and that is the beauty of magic.” after completing the magic circle she tapped on it and they watched as it glowed so bright before blasting a pillar of fire at their foes, burning them to a cinder.

“Well...” Dipper spoke, she then started to laugh as she kicked at the box art of Probabilator.

“Hah! How was that for mediocre, huh? Try using your mathology in the afterlife!” she leans to the side when she notices that she accidentally overdid it with the magic and destroyed the kitchen and left burn marks everywhere “... I’ll fix that.” now they’re outside the shack while Alvah was floating around and fixing it up after what happened during the portal's reactivation, she didn’t have time to fix it earlier but after the mess, she made she finally made time to do it.

“Mabel, is Miss Alvah a witch?” Grenda asked as she watched Alvah float off the ground after taking a tree that had lodged itself into the roof and replanted it back into the ground, they all kind of forgot that Alvah being a supernatural, interdimensional demonic being was a secret.

“Well, Grenda, actually--”

“That’s so awesome! Do you think if I asked, she would teach me how to use magic as well? I wanna be a witch!” they hear a laugh and see that it is Alvah slowly descending from above but continuing to float as she holds the staff over her shoulder.

“That would be quite difficult, little Grenda. In this dimension, you humans don’t particularly have mana or any other sort of energy that allows you to wield magic. But you do have science, which happens to be the more limited but modernized version of magic.” she chuckled softly when Grenda huffed, kicking at the grass while crossing her arms.

“That’s not fair!” she pats her head.

“Life’s not fair, kiddo. Perhaps you should go punch someone, it always brings a smile to my face.”

“You’re right!” with that Grenda runs off to go punch the nearest person, she chuckled at the young girl before throwing her arms towards the newly fixed Mystery Shack.

“And there you have it! Good as new!” they all hear a creek so they look up and see the iconic S from the Shack slowly slip off and fall to the ground, she let out a breath as she dropped her arms “I’m not even going to bother.” she looks down when she saw Dipper approach so she lowered herself to the ground and sat herself down on her knees.

“Thanks for helping us, Alvah.” she smiled softly and gently patted his head “You’re not going to get in trouble, are you? You said that was an event that you weren’t supposed to interfere with.” this caused her to let out a huff.

“I really wasn’t supposed to do what I just did. I was technically supposed to allow him to kidnap you and Ford, and take you guys into the forest while Mabel and Stan came to your rescue. It was to help your guy’s development and relationship; you guys are trapped within the game and they were going to play it to save you.” this caught them by surprise “Since I’ve already interfered, I don’t think I’ll get in trouble for telling you what was supposed to happen. It was my first offense; I’ll probably be let go with just a warning. So, if you guys see the time police, tell them you never saw me. I don’t want to deal with that stupid Time Baby.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you mean to tell me that we actually played that nerd game? For real?” she nods.

“Yes, you played that “nerd game” to save your brothers, and you actually had fun doing so, and won against his smarts with your dumb luck. If you remove the mathematical and hard-thinking concepts out of DDMD, you will greatly enjoy the game. You put aside your distaste for the game to save both Ford and Dipper, which helped with your guy's relationship, and you guys realize that your bit— I mean, bickering isn’t going to do you any good, blah, blah, blah.” she thanked Dipper when he helped her up while she tossed the staff behind her “So, I’m sorry that I let my ego get the best of me and ruined your adventure. This is why I don’t really get in the way of these things, because it takes the fun and development you guys were supposed to have, out of it.” she hummed softly when Mabel approached her, taking her hand and tugging her forward.

“And we greatly appreciate your help, Alvah. Is what why you’ve been staying out of things as of lately?” she nodded her head.

“Uh-huh. You should spend as much time with each other as you possibly can because you don’t know when it’s going to be your last.” Mabel pouted at that, Alvah didn’t realize where the little girl was leading her until it was too late, because the next thing she knew was Mabel grabbing Stan and pulling the two of them together and they fell into each other.

“Then will you watch the season finale of Duck-tective with us? It wouldn’t be the same without you, and since you played with Dipper and Grunkle Ford, then you’ve just gotta watch it with us!” she swallowed thickly as she slowly looked up at Stan, her face slowly losing its composure with how close they were as she started sputtering out any sort of excuse to decline “Come on, pretty please~ won’t you do it for me?” looking back down at her she saw her infamous puppy dog eyes with her trembling lips, she let out a sigh.

“Alright, fine.” both she and Stan take a knee when they were yanked down so Mabel could hug them both, they plant a hand onto the ground to stabilize themselves while wrapping another arm around the young girl.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she hugged them a little longer before letting them go and jogging over to Dipper to urge him to join them, Ford was planning on declining the invitation but looked over towards his brother and demon and saw the way the two of them acted like awkward teenagers. It was honestly quite amusing, two people who are known for being outspoken and confident were reduced to nothing but silence, and from what he learned through her memories the two of them were known for flirting with each other and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. She wrapped an arm around herself while her free hand rubbed her face, Stan himself hand one of his hands caressing the back of his neck while the other planted itself on his hip.

“So...” they startle each other when they spoke at the same time while turning to look at each other, they immediately turn away when their faces were inches apart, she starts playing with her hair as she took a breath while Stan took his hat off “How have you been?” she perked up when he spoke to her, looking up at him, he was dusting his hat off before placing it back on top of his head.

“Well. Could I assume the same for yourself?” he gave a shrug.

“Eh, I’ve been better.” she nodded softly, and her mind went back to the conversation she, Ford, and Mabel had in the lab and that feeling of guilt started pooling up in her stomach again, she’s grabbed a fistful of the skirt of her dress and was playing with the bundle rather nervously.

“Stanley, I... I’m--” he looks down at her, curious as to what she had to say, she looks up at him and he saw this look in her eyes when they locked eyes, she looked like she was going to say something before her body slumped and she instead reached up to fix his fez that was slipping from his head “I’m happy you are faring well.” her hand slips down to his face where it briefly rests upon his cheek before she pulls it away, she holds her hand close to her chest as she walks towards the shack to follow Ford inside where she misses Stan reaching up to place his own hand on the cheek she last touched.

“Alvah.” upon joining them in watching Duck-tective, she sat on the ground beside Grenda while Stan, Dipper, and Mabel all squeezed onto the small sofa. She found the plot to be a little amusing, that the season finale revealed how the duck protagonist had a secret twin brother, which almost reminded her of someone. She felt a little nudge so she looked up and saw Mabel wiggling her eyebrows at her, she rolled her own eyes and shook her head before looking back at the TV.

season 2, episode 14. the stanchurian candidate

alvah is, of course, with stanford when dipper comes down to complain about stan stubbornly refusing to listen to him and mabel about running for mayor.

while he ranted on and on about the fact, ford looks at alvah to see whether or not his brother actually wins the election.

she gave a shrug while making a “sort of” gesture.

she watched in amusement when ford pulled out a necktie that had the capabilities to control the wearer.

“use it responsibly” he said, like hell they would.

when it was the day of the election, ford couldn’t seem to find alvah until he looked upstairs and found her watching the election.

he saw the way she was giggling softly to herself as she watched stan, a soft hue dusted across her cheeks.

not in love, she says.

ford ridicules her but he was swiftly punched in the face.

season 2, episode 15. the last mabelcorn

Alvah wasn't allowed to join Mabel on her quest for the unicorns because Ford said that "a being as rotten as her would scare them off", or whatever that means. She thinks he's just a sucker that believed that whole pure of heart sham all those years ago, she already knew that was a farce from long ago but thought it was too funny to reveal. She could easily get past those stupid unicorns and either a. take their hair by force or b. compliment their hair and ask for tips, that usually works. Ford told her that he wanted to spend some time alone with Dipper, having already revealed what they were doing in his lab all those nights ago, and Dipper practically pleaded with her to allow him to spend time with his idol.

So here she was, sitting outside the shack with nothing to do. She watched aimlessly as the little critters that roamed the forest would peek out and approach her curiously before wandering back into the forest where she would reward their curiosity with little peanuts left out by Soos, she had a walnut in her hand so she swiftly crushed it within her palm before outstretching her hand to a squirrel that padded up to her. She watched as it sniffed her hand curiously before eating right out of her palm, it would be so easy to close her hand around its neck and tighten her hold around it. She could do it slowly and watch it struggle within her grasp, clawing at her hand to escape despite knowing its attempts would be futile. Or perhaps she could just crush it like she did with that walnut, how she would feel its neck snap in an instant; quick and painless. She let out an oh when it suddenly scampered away, she flicked the reminisce of the walnut onto the grass and relaxed back on the steps.

"... I know you're there, Stanley." she hummed softly when she heard a crash from behind her, she waited a couple seconds before the door opened, and out came Stan dusting himself off while clearing his throat "Come to have a chat with me, Stan?" she pats the free space beside her and waits to see whether or not he'd take her up on the offer, he grumbles to himself but plops himself beside her.

"Why aren't you with brainiac one and two or Mabel? You're usually hanging off his shoulder or keeping Mabel out of trouble." she merely shrugged her shoulders as she plucked another peanut from the bowl and tossed it toward another squirrel.

"Fordsy wanted to spend some time with Dipper alone to devise a plan against Bill, and Mabel will be just fine. And you didn't hear this from me, but she's gonna punch a unicorn in the nose. It's rather glorious." she giggles softly to herself at what the future has for Mabel, sure her love for unicorns vanishes because they're nothing but a sham, but it sure was a spectacle to witness.

"What? She punches a unicorn?" this got a laugh out of Stan "Almost tempted to follow them just to watch."

"She might need comfort when she returns. Because of their little "purest of heart" scheme, they make her a little insecure about how good of a person she is. She might need some reassurance when she gets back, but those other girls keep her from falling too deep." they sit in silence and Stan watches her closely, he stares at her face specifically. Ever since it was revealed that she wasn't all that she seemed to be, whether she was a man or not, she wore a rather cocky grin on her face and carried a haughty attitude, she was just unrecognizable to him. But right now, under the grace of the sun and a calming summer breeze, he was blessed with the Alvah he had grown rather attached to... like he'd ever admit that part out loud, god he hoped she couldn't read minds (she can, in fact, read minds).

"You're staring." he jumped at her voice, fidgeting from where he sat when her eyes trailed away from the wilderness that surrounded them and onto him, he swallowed thickly and stared deep into those soft, rich green eyes of hers. He was the most socially aware between himself and Stanford and took pride in himself with how well he could read people, he thought he read Alvah well, but there was just something lacking within her eyes "What's on your mind?"

"Pointdexter refers to you as a devil, so are you like Bill?"

"By that, are you asking if he and I are the same species?" he gave a kind of gesture.

"Do you have a shape form like he does?" this question causes her to burst out into a fit of laughter.

"I'm not a Euclydian, Stan. Their species have been long wiped out like their dimension, no thanks to Bill." she paused when she saw the confused look on his face "They are, er, were a two dimensional species that were only shapes like squares and circles."

"And triangles?" she nods.

"Uh-huh. They were incapable of seeing the third dimension, but Bill, he was different. But due to that, he accidentally destroyed Euclydia. He'd say otherwise, but we beings know what happened that day."

"So you're saying that you were there?" she shrugs.

"More or less. You're technically not supposed to know this, not even Ford knows this, but I could care less. Bill tells an entirely different story, saying he did it for power, but he only says that because he doesn't want to confront the fact that he erased his species off the face of this universe. He refuses to see that it was his fault."

"Whoa." she nods, he looks at the ground as he thinks of another question to ask "But you do have many forms, right? This and the one you use for Ford aren't the only ones, are they?" she shakes her head.

"No, they aren't." Stan then watches as she changes shape into a variety of different people, or rather, species "I have contracts with many people for trillions of years and taken the form of different species. I don't really have a proper identity to call me own." she spoke in different voices and even languages as she changed from a monster with tentacles for a face and even a tall newt with a purple skin tone before finally changing back to Alvah.

"That sounds sad."

"It really isn't. The contracts were easy to fulfill and I didn't have to stay in a body for too long. This one, however, is the longest it has existed." she said as she raised her arms to look at her hands "Without me even realizing, it started developing..." he raised a brow as he looked at her hands then back up at her.

"A consciousness?" she chuckled softly.

"Feelings." he blinked at her words "Every body I made moved like a machine with simple instruction. Listen to the contractor, fulfill the contractor's wishes, and complete the contract. Simple."

"But?" she finally looked away from her hands and stared at him, long and hard.

"I would leave these bodies and return to my own so I wouldn't get... attached. But, I was stuck in this one for so long it-- or I, started to feel. That is impossible, I'm not supposed to feel anything." the longer he stared into her eyes the more he started to see something that once wasn't there "And yet here I am beginning to enjoy the company of a small human family to the point I would do anything to secure their safety; to the point that I don't want you... to hate me." his eyes widened at her words.

"Alvah." she turns away and wraps her arms tightly around her torso

"Stanley, I am... sorry, for how I've treated you these past couple of weeks. I'm sorry I've been distant, I'm sorry I've avoided you. It’s just... so hard for me to come to terms with these feelings that are so foreign to me. These feelings are something I can’t control, and no matter how hard I’ve been denying them... they just keep coming back.” he sees how her arms tightened as she spoke “I don’t know if it’s this body or my feelings. I’m supposed to know everything, I’ve seen countless possibilities, millions upon trillions of endings but not one... not one where I--” he blinks when she abruptly cuts herself off.

“Where you what?” the suspense was killing him, he tilts his head to try and get a look at her face but instead he saw a faint hue on the tips of her ears when she spoke so softly it would’ve been lost to the wind.

“Where I...” he couldn't quite catch what she said but he saw the way her body suddenly froze, as if the sudden realization of her feelings finally caught up with her. He was startled when she quickly shot up to her feet and turned around, speedwalking to get inside the shack and possibly hide from him “I-I—I need to go! It was swell talking with you again, Stanley! Talk to you later!” she tries to get away but Stan was fast enough to stand to his feet and catch her wrist before she could get too far.

“No, no! You can’t just stop there! You can’t just leave me hanging there, Alvah!” each time he felt her try to get away he would tug her back, he knew that she was much stronger than him, he knew that she could throw him off but this was a rare moment of Alvah being vulnerable with him so he wasn’t going to lose her when he was so close “You don’t get to spill that all on me and expect me to just sit there! I still... I still care about you! I still think about what we had, about what we did and said to each other and I hoped it wasn’t something you did out of obligation. That what we had meant something to you, the real you! That you actually... care for me. That finally someone chose me, and that since you knew it was me from the very beginning, you actually wanted me.” she stopped fighting him but she didn’t turn to look at him, his grip on her tightened as his face hardened “Won’t you say something, Alvah?!” he tugs at her and forced her to turn around and there... there he saw a sight that will forever be engraved in the back of his mind. The color red had practically covered her entire face as she tried her best to shield it with her forearm but failed, she was looking everywhere but at him and she looked so flustered; so, embarrassed that she looked so adorable in his eyes that it made him forget that the person in front of him was the embodiment of chaos and evil.

“I... I do care about you, Stanley. I care when I-I shouldn’t be able too.” she moves her arm so her hand could cover the lower half of her face as she looked away “I’ve seen those kids die—I've seen you die so many times. To the monsters that roamed the forest... or by your own hands, and it scares me so much. Is this how you humans feel when you care about something so much that you feel like you’re dying? I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I were to lose you...” his hand slowly reaches for her other wrist and pulls it down so he could look at her clearly, the one that caught her slid up her arm and rested on her cheek where she finally looked at him and he saw so many different emotions swirling in those beautiful eyes of hers.

Fear, anguish, regret, confusion.

“Humans are more... complex than machines. We feel things that can spiral out of control if left alone.” his thumb started stroking her cheek in a form of comfort and she melted at the affection, her eyes fluttering close as she leaned into his touch “If what you say is true, then running from it will make you hurt more.” her eyes opened again and he couldn’t tell if the glisten in her eyes were tears or something else.

“You make my nonexistent heart beat. I... I...” he saw the way that word was stuck in her throat, how she struggled to say it as she hid her face in the palm of his hand. Instead, she blinked when she felt his other hand cup her cheek and slowly turn her towards him once more, the two of them stare at each other until he started leaning in. A weak gasp left her when he pressed his lips against her, unlike the other kisses they’ve shared, this one was so short and faint she’d compare it to a peck. He pulled away and she saw his cheeks were tinted the faintest shade of pink but her face turned even more red, however, it didn’t stop her from wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a much needed kiss. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her close and reciprocate the kiss, they’d pull away briefly to allow him to breath but they’d pull each other right back in for more. Her hands removed themselves from his neck to cradle his face within her hands while his own roamed her body, he manages to catch them when they fall back into the door behind her with his hand slamming against the door frame, when they break away, they rest their foreheads against each other with his hands caressing his face affectionately “Stanford’s gonna kill me.” Stan snorted softly at what she said.

“Why do you say that?” they move from the door to take a seat on the yellow sofa, all the tension from earlier gone as she cuddled up to Stan’s side, his arm wrapped around her side to keep her close.

“He has come to realize my infatuation with you and threatens me about getting close. Says he doesn’t want a repeat in history, but I’m insulted that he compares me to Bill and you to him. If I’m being honest, you are much smarter than your brother.”

“Hah! You’re just saying that because you like me.” she shakes her head, lacing her fingers with his and giving his hand a squeeze.

“No, I am being very honest. You are much smarter than people give you credit for, Stan. I have watched you ever since you stepped for in Gravity Falls and your actions leading up to your brother’s return have been remarkable. If anything, your brother has much to learn from you. Be proud of your actions.” she quirked a brow when she felt his grip on her hand tighten a little as his body trembled, looking up, she giggled quietly to herself when she saw him covering his eyes with his hand “Stan, are you crying?” he looked away from her.

“No! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she hummed and reached to grab at his wrist and pull it away from his face, she gave him a soft expression as she cupped his cheek and wiped away his tears.

“I told you this before, Stan, you don’t have to hide your vulnerability from me, I’m not going to make fun of you.” with that she kissed his tears away and nuzzled her cheek against his, he laughed softly and returned the gesture to know that it was appreciated “I still don’t fully understand what these feelings are or how I should confront them, but I do know you are something dear to me, as well as those children, and Wendy, and Soos and even Stanford. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, but there are just some things I just can’t prevent from happening in order to do so.” he hummed softly at that.

“So, there is more to come?”

“More than you could think.” he let out a grunt when she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face within the crook of his neck, hugging him tightly “So when that day comes, please know that I am so sorry that I had to let it happen.” he opens his mouth to reassure her that he’d forgive her, that it couldn’t possibly be as bad as she’s making it out to be, but seeing how she tightened her grip on him made him think otherwise.

“Whatever you say, toots.” they decide to go back into the shack in fear that Mabel and her friends would reappear and catch them doing something they definitely didn’t want them to see. Alvah hadn’t realized just how much she missed spending her time with Stan, whether it doing something productive or just simply lazing around doing absolutely nothing but basking in each other’s company. She found herself craving more of Stan then she ever realized, she wanted him to smile at her more, she wanted to be the reason of his laughter, she wanted to be the center of his universe, but she knew deep down that she could never replace the love he had for his family. So, even if she had to be fed breadcrumbs in order to stay in his mind, she wouldn’t mind.

“Did somebody say unicorn hair?!” both herself and Stan jump at the sound of Mabel’s voice, has it been that long already? She hadn’t even realized how long she and Stan spent together to the point that Mabel had returned from retrieving the unicorn hair, she guessed Dipper now knows that the muse she was talking about long ago was now in fact Bill Cipher and that she and that triangular freak have got ongoing beef. They both leave the room they occupied and make their way to where everyone was huddled in, however, the moment Stan’s eyes caught the glistening shine of gold he was quick to leave her side.

“MONEY!!” she sweat dropped when he grabbed an armful before breaking down the backdoor as he fled, she sighed but clapped her hands when she entered the room.

“Well done, Mabel, I knew you could do it.” taking in their disheveled attire, she snickered softly when she saw the unicorn tears and blood that covered the girls followed by scratches and bruises “You did a good job, kiddo. I’m real proud of you.” she praised as she knelt down and gently ruffled her head, she pulled her hand away and saw the way her eyes glistened with tears.

“Thanks, Alvah, I really needed that.” she winked.

“Don’t worry about it. Those unicorns don’t know a thing about you, but I know for sure that you’re the greatest little girl there could ever be.” she soft gasp left her when Mabel threw herself into Alvah’s arms, her eyes widened a little at the action as she slowly lifted her arms to wrap around Mabel and embrace her. Her mind went back to what she said to Stan and she immediately felt the guilt pool in her stomach, but she ignored it to nuzzle her cheek against the side of Mabel’s head.

when stan came back, he and alvah spent a few more quiet hours to catch up on lost time.

she made sure that mabel was busy with her friends so the young girl wouldn’t catch them doing anything.

it was when things were getting more intimate when she was suddenly ripped from his grasp and a crash followed close behind.

opening his eyes, he was met with a hole in the wall as well as a loud thud.

that was due to the fact when dipper and ford put up the protective barrier to bill-proof the shack, ford made a few miscalculations and demon-proofed the house.

so when the barrier went up she was repealed out of the shack, to which she was on the top floor and fell from a great height.

dipper was immediately apologetic and ford chuckled when she glared at him to fix it, well, that was until stan popped his head out from where she was thrown out.

the next hour is spent with her running away from blasts from his gun while stan, dipper and mabel try and stop him.

season 2, episode 16. roadside attraction

“You really don’t want me anywhere near your brother, huh?” Alvah, who was in his male form, cooed from where he was floating over Ford, who was currently trying to figure out a way to fix the rift after it was damaged by Dipper when he learned the truth about Ford and Bill and shot him with the memory gun, only for the blast to ricochet off his head. After learning that Alvah and Stan settled the awkward tension they had and were acting flirtatious again, seeing them acting all lovey dovey and not getting enough of each other. He would try to ignore it but knowing what they were doing in just a room across from him had him storming in, no matter what they could be doing, and ripping her away from Stan to confine her in the lab “So overprotective, Fordsy~” he giggles to himself and twirls and strand of his long black hair around his index finger.

“I do not want to know what kind of tomfoolery you and my brother get up to.” he huffed, crossing his arms.

“Like you and Bill?” he snickered when he saw Ford stiffen, dropping the pen he had in his hand as he slowly turned red. Whether it be from embarrassment or anger, or perhaps both, he’ll never know. He scoffed when Ford whipped his head over to where he was floating and glared at him with such vigor, if looks could kill, he’d be dead where he stood—er, well, floated “Hit a nerve, did I?” he hummed softly when Ford grabbed him by the ankle to yank him down, making sure they were face to face as when he spoke.

“How dare you bring that up, Alvah. You know exactly what Bill did to me.”

“Then you should know better than to compare me to Bill, Stanford.” he opens his mouth to protest but was shushed when Alvah shook him off “I can hear your thoughts without needing to read them, and to say I’m insulted would be an understatement. My adoration for Stanley is completely different from the obsession Bill had for you.”

“I-It wasn’t an obsession!”

“I stalked you two for over a year, and he would not shut up about it either. I will go through those journals just to find those receipts; I will do it. I will give you the time and date for each instance, don’t tempt me.” they stare at each other for an intense few minutes until Ford breaks away with a disgruntled sigh, he watches as he returned to where he was before in silence before speaking “... I’m not going to hurt him, if that’s what you’re thinking. I already know what he’s been through. From his upbringing, the ten years he spent alone on the road to the thirty years of bringing you back. I don’t plan on damaging him even further, intentionally, that is.”

“Intentionally?” Ford waited for an answer but was met with silence, he turned back to look at Alvah to question him but paused when he saw the distraught look on his face “Al--”

“Let's just say, there’s just something I can’t prevent from happening.” Ford wants to question him on what that means but knows that if it has something to do with the timeline then Alvah will not tell him, despite being an all knowing and powerful being, there seems to be some rules that even he cannot and will not break. He goes to return to work but saw the way Alvah perked up like an internal alarm went off in his head, he raised a brow curiously.

“Now what?” Alvah lifted his hand up and the shadows beneath him rose out of the ground.

“Your brother seems to be in need of assistance.” Ford furrowed his brows in concern and got off his seat, standing beside Alvah as the shadows acted as a way to see what was happening. Ford always wondered what Alvah saw whenever she was, as he called it, the Shadow Realm, when they conversed. The image was distorted and hazy but clear enough for them to see what was going on on the other side, and there they saw Stan encased in webbing in some sort of cave.

“Wasn’t he going on a road trip with the kids?” he nods.

“He is, but it seems he ran into an arachnimorph. Quite nasty, if I say. If he’s lucky, he didn’t run into a female one.”

“Why’s that?”

“They’re more aggressive than the male arachnimorphs. You know, like normal spiders.” the image then shows a tan skinned woman with tan marks over her eyes in the shape of her sunglasses and on her shoulders where straps were present. She had sandy-blonde hair and a brown birth mark on her left shoulder, and though her torso was that of a normal human woman, her lower half was that of a spider “Him and his dumb luck.”

“Are you going to help him?” he shakes his head.

“As much as I want to, it’s one of those moments where I can’t.” he nods his head.

“I see.” he goes to make the image disappear until that woman started getting closer to Stan.

“You tricked me!” he shouted at her “I’m eighty-percent certain you don’t really love me at all!” this comment caused Alvah to furrow his brows, though he already knew the plot of this adventure, he still was a little jealous that Stan and this spider-woman went out on a date.

“Ha! Men will fall for anything. You’re so funny. Great story. I love a man with shoulder hair.”

“You... you didn’t mean it about my shoulder hair?” Ford and Alvah to roll their eyes.

“Tell me, Stan, before I transformed, who’d you think was in charge? You, with your cheesy lines and fake confidence? I’m the master pick-up artist here. Sorry, toots. This time, you’re getting used for your body, which, to my species, is food. Allow me to slip into something more horrifying.” with that, the arachnimorph pulled its mouth open like that of a body suit and revealed its true form “I wonder what beverage pairs well with a vintage seventy-something-year-old man." he grits his teeth as he glared at her from where he was hanging.

“Why I oughta, when my partner gets here, you’ll be sorry!” this caused the arachnimorph to let out a laugh as she got close to him once more.

“If you already had a partner, why’d you flirt with little ol’ me? Wouldn’t that break their heart if they learned of your infidelity?” he just let out a laugh.

“Not really. I used my better lines on her and I’ve practically got her wrapped around me finger.” Ford looked up at Alvah and saw the irritated look on his face followed by the soft blush tinting his cheeks, he rolled his eyes knowing that what Stan had said wasn’t too far off from the truth “Besides, unlike her, I didn’t really like you all that much. Just trying to show off to my nephew how professionals work.” she let out a laugh at what he said.

“Hah! Thanks to you, that boy will probably do more harm than good with your advice. It’d probably be better if he didn’t listen to you, because in the end, look where you ended up.”

“Sure, but my partner surely won’t leave me hanging and come to my rescue!” the way he emphasized on the surely was meant for him to appear right that moment to save him, Darlene looked around for the appearance of such a partner but no one came “Come on, Alvah! I know you’re watching!” Darlene laughs once more as she got close to his face, he winced and leaned as far away as he possibly could while being confined to the webbing.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but it looks like you’re all alo—ah!” Stan was startled when a fist appeared from beside his head and punched Darlene in the face, knocking her a few feet away from him, though he gradually calmed down when said fist uncurled and a hand glided across his jaw and caressed his cheek.

“Hello, beloved. Can’t go a day without causing trouble, huh?” Stan smiled at the sight of Alvah appearing from out of his shadow, her arm around wrapped around his shoulder as she pulled herself close to him so she could rub her cheek against his “I, for one, like your shoulder hair.” he giggled bashfully to himself as he nuzzled his cheek into hers.

“Aw~ I knew you would.” before she could say anything else she let out a grunt when she was shoved away from him by another figure, Stan was surprised to see Ford appear as well by grabbing Alvah by her face and pushing her away while pointing his gun towards the arachnimorph.

“That’s enough of that.” she glared at him but scoffed as they both step out of the shadow “This isn’t a good idea, Alvah.” she shrugged as she stood in front of the twins to ensure she was the first target that Darlene woman would go for.

“As long as I’m not the one to take her down, we should be fine. Now hurry up and free your brother, I’ll keep her back until the kids get here.”

“Mister Pines!” she chuckled at the sound of Grenda’s voice echoing through the cave.

“Speak of the devil.” the children came rushing in to save Stan but were greatly surprised at the sight of Alvah and Ford already in the process of saving him “Children, take your uncles and get out of here. I’ll hold her back while you get away.”

“Miss Alvah! How are you here?”

“Magic~” she quickly turned her attention back towards Darlene when she came charging at her, she caught the six-legged creature by her hands and dug the soles of her feet into the ground to keep her from pushing her back. She grimaced when the pincers on her face chittered as she leaned close, Alvah winced when she heard the sound of subtle cracking so she glanced over at her arms and saw tiny cracks forming around her elbows “Yeesh, have you ever thought of eating a couple breath mints? You smell as bad as that guy back there.” she said while motioning to Ford with her head.

“Hey!” Stan snickered.

“She’s got a point, Sixer.” she leans away again when Darlene let out a chuckle.

“So, you must be the partner, huh? Did you know that your Stan over there whispered sweet nothings into my ear? He thinks he’s such a smooth talker with his cheap flattery and cheesy one liners.” Alvah rolled her eyes.

“Well, they worked on me.” she looked away when Darlene gave her an incredulous look.

“Wait, seriously?” she shrugged her shoulders.

“What? I’m a sucker for flattery.” she let out a yelp of sorts when she was lifted off the ground then slammed back down into the ground, it didn’t hurt, but she grimaced when she heard more parts of her body start to crack “Hey, hey, now. Let’s be gentle, I’m a fragile little thing.”

“You also look like a sweet little thing, I wonder what you taste like.”

“Well, you’ve got to ask Stan if you want to answer to that question.” she winked but let out another grunt when she felt this overweight arachnid push her deeper into the dirty cave floor, she was getting dirt and cobwebs in her clothes and hair, what a pain “I beg, please get your ugly face away from mine. I don’t appreciate it.” Darlene laughs again as leans in close, her pincers wiggling inches away from Alvah’s face.

“I won’t let any of you get away. You’ll make a perfect addition to my collection.” Alvah scoffed.

“And I won’t let that happen.” the moment she heard them finally free Stan she hiked her legs up and kicked the overgrown spider off of her, she springs back up to her feet then held up her hand when she noticed them start to approach to help her “No, get out of here! I can’t handle her.”

“But--”

“I said go!” though reluctant, the group turn tail and ran out of the cave, leaving Alvah and Darlene alone together “If this were any other situation, I would finish you in an instance, but this ain’t. I’m just gonna give you a hard time.” she winks at the arachnimorph and uses two fingers to gesture for her to come.

“I'll make you regret not running with the rest of them.” with the others, they were all high tailing it down the moment and towards the skyline, Candy looked back towards the cave entrance that got smaller and smaller as they ran further down the moment.

“Was it right for us to leave Miss Alvah the way we did? I can’t help but worry for her.” Ford shook his head as he ushered the children to run ahead of him and his brother, occasionally looking back towards the cave in case the arachnimorph did manage to get past Alvah.

“Oh, no. I believe she would be very cross with us if we didn’t leave. She can handle her own, I promise you that.”

“Yeah, but you should have seen here when we had to fight against zombies. She looked hot as hell.” Dipper covers his ears at the words that were used, and though Mabel couldn’t help but agree, she did awe a little.

“Ew.”

“I don’t need to know that, Stanley.”

“Zombies?” Candy and Grenda question, though neither got an answer when the sound of shouting came from behind them followed by loud crashes, they didn’t have time to turn around when flying over them was Darlene and Alvah tumbling down the mountain. Alvah was shouting as she punched Darlene in the face each time they were in the air and Darlene would retaliate when she was on top of her, Alvah would sometimes be able to catch her fist and punch her right back across the face but other times she would have to take the hit. Alvah couldn’t really feel pain each time a strike connected but she could feel her body crack more and more against the super strength the arachnimorph species possessed. They both crashed into a tree with Alvah landing on top of her, she continues to land blows on her but Darlene used her legs to kick her off her. She manages to catch herself and rushes towards Darlene and when her fist connects to her face, this time, her left hand all the way up to her forearm completely shatters.

“Well.”

“Alvah!” she looks back at the group and saw them stop when they notice her missing limb, she looks back down at her shattered hand then quickly looks back at them and waves them off.

“I’m fine! Just hurry onto the sky tram! I’ll catch up!” Ford was quick to heed her demand and ushers them all into the tram, having to force Stan on before he could rush off to help her.

“Hah! So, you’re not a human! Should have figured that one out, Stan seems to have a type.” Alvah shrugged then twirled a strand of her blonde hair.

“Yeah, seems to me he’s into blondes. At least I was right on that mark, hmm?” Darlene laughs.

“Well, since you’re down a limb, you won’t be that much of a threat!” with that she was quick to run off and chase after the fleeing group, Alvah scoffed and looks back down at the hole her shattered arm left.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Ford looks back and saw Darlene was leaping from tram to tram and gaining on them fast, no thanks to the stupid tram going at the speed of 0.1 miles per hour, however he perked up at the sight of Alvah not too far behind and instead of fixing her arm like she did when he blasted a hole in her face, the same black tar oozed out from the hole the damage did and became her new arm that grew larger with claws instead of hands. He also noticed that she ripped off her other arm so she could have two, so he saw her running along the cable while also using her new arms to swing herself towards them. When Darlene finally caught up to them and started encasing them in her webbing, Alvah swung herself up and kicked Darlene off and onto a different tram that was ahead of them “Is that all you got, freak?!”

“Are you alright, Alvah?” she leaned back to see Ford peaking his head out of a window “You took quite the damage fighting that arachnimorph.”

“That’s because this body isn’t meant for fighting, it’s only meant to look good. Besides, this vessel doesn’t seem to be able to contain the updated version of our contract.” she should have known when Ford allowed her more access to her power her body would become more brittle with how old it is “But I'm fine, nonetheless.” a soft gasp left her when a couple pieces of her face chipped off and fell, more black ooze leaking out of her face.

“What was that, Alvah?”

“I-It’s nothing!” Darlene lunges for Alvah once more but she swung herself around the cable holding up their tram and kicked Darlene back once more before lowering herself down to get a look at the group through the glass window “Candy!” the little girl jumped at the sound of Alvah’s voice, looking at the older woman, she gasped at the sight of her disheveled state.

“M-Miss Alvah? Are you alright?” she waves her free hand, her claws digging into the roof of the tram to keep her from falling.

“Don't worry about me, sweetheart. You’ve got this though, right?” Candy blinked at Alvah’s words, taken aback that she knew that Candy had a plan to deal with Darlene if she hadn’t showed up, so she smiles and nods her head while giving her a thumbs up.

“Affirmative.” Alvah returns the gesture before hoisting herself back up, one of her arms wraps around the attachment that connects the carriage to the cables above them while the other is pressed against the roof just as Darlene jumps back.

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily.” this earned her a chuckle “What’s so funny?”

“Well, you don’t seem to realize you’ve walked into my web.” this caused Darlene to look down and noticed how the hand that was pressed against the roof allowed the black ooze to cover the surface and the moment her legs touched it they covered her legs completely to restrict her from moving “Hope you ain’t afraid of water!” she lets out a maniacal laugh when Candy pulled the emergency lever and the latch that connected the carriage to the cable above them released and they fell, they fell directly into the geyser “old reliable” that went off and shot them right back up into the air. They were sent flying down the mountain with Darlene taking the brunt force of crashing into everything while Alvah was running on top of the carriage as it continued to move, she made sure to release Darlene when they made it down and broke through the kiosk at the bottom of the mountain, right underneath the boot of the old statue that came down and crushed her.

“My only weakness, a giant boot!” she cried out as she struggled to get out from underneath said boot “A giant newspaper or a giant cup would also have been pretty bad.” Stan and Ford managed to break down the carriage door where all occupants came tumbling out after rolling down the mountain.

“Kid, that was ingenious! How’d you know it would work?” Stan raised as he pulled Candy into a side hug.

“Useless travel pamphlets.”

“Stanley.” they all flinch and look back towards Darlene, who transformed back into her human form “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You’ll let me out, right?” she spoke while twirling a strand of her hair, batting her eyes to lure him in.

“What? After all that? Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?” he shouts as he approached her weakened form.

“Haha, you’re so funny. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?” before Stan could answer her, he was pulled back by Ford just as Alvah stood over her with the carriage held above her head.

“Stan’s already got a supernatural being in his life and that isn’t you, sweetheart.” Alvah ignored her cries and dropped it on top of her, she makes sure her legs stopped twitching and goes to turn around until she caught her reflection in the glass “Well, that was irritating, she broke my face.” she murmured as she brought her hand up to caress her cheek that was missing a couple pieces.

“Are you alright, Alvah?” she moved her eyes and saw Ford approaching her, she huffed and turned around.

“I already said I was fine. And again, this body was not meant for fighting, only to look good.” she let out a grunt when he grabbed her by the face, pulling her close so he could examine the damage “And you say I’ve got issues with invading personal space.” she squeaked when he tightened his grip on her face, squeezing her cheeks and yanking her closer to glare into her eyes.

“At least I don’t do it in every waking moment.” she just shrugged her shoulders, he threw her head back before grabbing at what was left of her arms to look at the ooze that replaced what was missing “Is this your blood?”

“Close, it’s my “flesh”, more or less.”

“Not that smoke?”

“The smokey version of me you see is the power I simply use to invade your head, you know, like that sand man? This goop would be the more accurate term to what my body is made up of, dead flesh.” she pulled a face when he pulled out a vial and scooped some of it up, he dangles it in front of his face and shakes the glass bottle “Really?”

“The more I learn about you, the better.” she rolled her eyes then paused when she heard someone clear their throat, peering past Ford, she saw that it was Stan sheepishly kicking his feet while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh Stanley, are you okay?” she cooed softly while reaching for him only to recoil back when she remembered the state she was in, but she was taken aback when he reached forward and grabbed her clawed hand “I thought you wouldn’t want to touch these rather grotesque hands of mine.” he laughed.

“I got acid spit in my face, your arms are the least of my worries.” she giggled softly and used her other hand to covered her face.

“You sap.” Stan opens his mouth to add something else but felt something rest on his shoulder, he turned his head to see what exactly it was only to let out a startled shout at the sight of a severed hand laying on his shoulder. The others watch in shock when Stan let out a scream and threw the arm in the air but stopped when Alvah burst out into a fit of laughter, she raised her hand and caught the arm then waved it cheekily at them “Thanks for the “hand”. Haha, get it?” she continued to laugh as she let the ooze slither back into the hole it came out of then connected the severed arm in its place, she rolled her arm a couple times then grinned when the cracks fused together smoothly.

“Fascinating, but wasn’t that the arm that shattered?”

“It was, but as long as I can find the pieces, I can put myself back together. Like so.” Dipper shrieked when he saw another arm drag itself over to where Alvah was, she picks the arm up abd repeated the same process she did with the first arm “Ta dah, good as new.” she let out an oh when Mabel tugged on the end of her skirt, she kneels down and tilts her head in mild curiosity then blinked when Mabel placed a rainbow band aid over crack and hole on her face.

“There, now you’re as good as new.” she caressed her cheek and smiled softly.

“Thank you, Mabel.” she let out a yelp when she was pulled back by Ford, she huffed at the action.

“Let us return, Alvah.” she rolled her eyes and stood to her feet, snapping her fingers to rid of all the cobwebs and grime that got on her after that distasteful squabble. He raised a brow as he watched her approach him and reach for his hand, she laces her fingers with his as best as she could and pulls him close until they were practically cheek to cheek “What are you--” she ignored him to look back at the group.

“See you back at the Mystery Shack.” with that she fell backwards and pulled Ford with her, he wasn’t prepared for the sensation that was them falling into their shadows and it felt like they were submerged briefly in a body of water before falling upright back in his lab. She chuckled softly when she felt his grip on her hand tighten significantly but when he came to realize they had returned he immediately let go, he looks back at her and saw Alvah changed back into his male appearance and rubbed his cheek that was bandaged.

“How long will it take you to repair your face?”

“It shouldn’t take too long since it’s small.” he hummed softly when he realized Ford was staring at him rather intently “What? Something else on my face?”

“... you really have changed, Alvah.” his face twitched at Ford’s statement “You never stepped in whenever someone was in trouble, you always watched as if it were the most boring thing you ever had to do. You’ve stated you are a neutral being that’s job was only to spectate and observe, nothing more than that.” his fingers picks at the small band aid on his check while averting his gaze from Ford’s.

“Why? You prefer if I abandon your family’s safety instead?”

“No, I’m more curious as to why you would risk yourself getting into trouble to step in when you know you could face dire consequences.” Alvah continues to pick at the band aid as he thought back to his time spending every waking moment with the Pines Family and he couldn’t help but smile rather bitterly.

“I, too, am very curious.” he then chuckles “I’ve got your brother to blame for half of it, though.” Ford scoffed.

“I’ll say.” he rolled his eyes.

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