#and obviously people take their frustrations to the extreme and harm others

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I don’t think the harassment is acceptable. I think people are really out of pocket doing that, but I do think him establishing what is and isn’t part of his job is fine. And maybe did need to be said, because clearly people didn’t know.

As for using Buddie as promo… idk. The marketing team is gonna do whatever ABC feels will garner the most viewers, and right now it’s Buck being bi and the long held desire to see him and Eddie become canon. They’re gonna milk it however they can, which falls back on Tim, thus him feelings like he needed to explain himself, presumably.

I do agree it could be toned down though, because Buck is now canonically dating someone else, and I don’t recall them teasing Buddie for real when he was with women. So doing it now the way they are is purely because they’re banking on Buddie fans, while also currently not committing.

Plus, everything Buddie related from before has to now be assumed not canon, so it’s putting everyone in a messy spot. Because we have canon, fanon, show runner confirmed but not on screen, and canon jokes that are now floating in the in between because no one knows if the they’ll be acknowledged in canon or get scrapped.

I think people should just calm down and wait to see what the season brings, anyway. Once it’s over and we get an idea of where all the characters are at, then start asking bigger questions or letting out the more angry frustrations.

Hi! Sorry for the late reply. The sheer amount of work that goes into television hasn't often been well realized in fan spaces. The writing, how it translates to screen, the process of acting, all the work by the crew, the pressures from moneymen, managing the expectations of the audience, the long hours and repetition of scenes. How multiple people working on a creative project means multiple interpretations— all of which bleed through. The showrunner has every right to protect himself and the people who work for him. I was mainly trying to draw on my own experiences in how these harassment campaigns happen, how they continue, and how they can be mitigated.

US TV production has a long and rocky history when it comes to queer narratives. That doesn't really end now that there are canonically queer characters on screen and this fallout is part of the response to that tension.

For example, if I engage in the whole Buddie vs. Bucktommy thing (sorry), I'd say both perspectives have a point they don't realize they're making about queerness in television storytelling.

The thesis I feel like Buddie fans are making is there are two queer coded main characters who love each other, who have seasons of build up in their individual characters and in their relationship. Why can't they be together? Because they're two male main characters on network television? Be bold, be brave. Wouldn't it be amazing if they did commit to that story? Wouldn't it be game changing? Sexuality and friendship and love is not set in stone, it's okay to be flexible. M/F relationships are allowed that space to develop within a story and you know if one of them were a woman they probably would be together already.

The thesis I feel like BuckTommy fans are making is that Buddie was never going to happen, realistically, and it's amazing enough that they committed to Buck being canonically bisexual. Why do you want to rock the boat? Don't you see that if you can't embrace this development it could be snatched away at any moment. The show is its own thing within its own context and not the blinkered interpretation you have of two characters. This queerness is canon.

Those two thesis's (thesi?) are rubbing up against each other and building straw men of the other to attack and tear down. A showrunner wading in was only ever going to combust that tension further and that's what happened. What keeps happening.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Keep hearing people say maribug keep asking adricat if he's ok and he keep saying he's ok instead of telling her his problem but I don't remember it happened more than once in s4 in Rockettear but even then the circumstances of that episode did warrant the "nothing" answer he gave her unless he want to tell her that "nino tell me you let nino and alya know each other identity" which will reveal adricat identity. So when else did she ask? about the thing in hack-san, I think another credit goes to alya since she's the one who bring the topic to maribug who seems to be blissfully unaware that her leaving without telling adeicat that she send subtitute would be a problem.

I didn't get into this side of things in my other post because it was long and I wanted to focus on why Chat Noir's behavior was so frustrating, but this ask brings up the other big reason why the season four conflict was such a frustrating and terribly written plot line. Specifically, the part of your ask where you point out that Maribug seems blissfully unaware that her actions are having a negative impact on Chat Noir until someone points it out to her.

Yes, she is presented as blissfully unaware of this and every other interpersonal conflict we're given in season four. Your ask treats this as a failing on Maribug's part as if she should have obviously realized that she was in the wrong, but that's the whole problem. Telling kids - telling anyone really - that they should just magically know what others need is a frankly terrible life lesson as that's just not how the world works. You cannot just assume that everyone will have the same view of the world as you do and instantly pick up on the same issues as you do. That is the path to easily avoidable frustration and conflict. It also teaches people to assume that their view of the world is inherently correct when that is rarely the case. We often don't know the whole story and the other person's point of view may end up being equally or even more valid. This issue is extremely present in season four as Marinette has legitimate reasons to behave the way she does, which I'll get into in a bit.

If Marinette were written as feeling guilty about how she was treating Chat Noir, then this would be a different story. She'd be way more in the wrong and would shoulder a much greater portion of the blame. But as is? She has no idea that she's doing anything wrong. And until someone takes the time to tell her that her actions are causing harm, she is going to continue causing harm because she has no idea that she's causing harm.

In fact, I'd argue that the Alya thing in Hack San is a point in Maribug's favor. Throughout the episode, we see Marinette sending Alya messages on ways to be a good partner to Chat Noir, proving that she does in fact care about him. And then, as soon as Alya says, "You need to talk to Chat Noir," what does Maribug do?

She goes and talks to Chat Noir, giving him a pretty good apology for the problem she now knows she caused. Because, shockingly, Maribug doesn't actually want to hurt her partner. She also clearly cares about his feelings, making me want to take the season four conflict and tear it into itty bitty pieces because what is the conflict even supposed to be when you write shit like this?

I want to briefly step away from Miraculous and talk about this issue in a broader context via this YouTube short:

This short is from a Vietnamese woman who moved to Germany. Her YouTube channel is about her experiences there, including things like the short above which goes into the differences between what it means to be a dinner guest in Vietnam and what it means to be a dinner guest in Germany. In Vietnam, it's apparently standard for the guests to cook dinner with you where as, in Germany, you're expected to have the meal ready when the guests arrive, making this a situation where it's super easy to come across as rude just by doing what you think is normal.

Society is relatively aware that these types of culture clashes are a thing, but you don't have to be from different cultures to have these types of situations. Every person has their own unique needs and ideas of what "normal" is. The culture they were raised in will affect this, but so will their family, their personal needs, and many other factors. Two people can be raised on the same street and wind up with wildly different world views even though they supposedly share a culture. This is extra true when you add in compounding factors like neurodiversity, which is why it's an exercise in futility to say, "But Maribug should have realized..."

Well, she clearly didn't. And you can't change that she didn't realize whatever you're mad about. All you can do is have someone tell her what she's doing wrong. If she then continues the behavior, go ahead and judge away. But if she immediately corrects it like she did in Hack San? Doesn't that just prove that she truly didn't know that Chat Noir was hurting and would have probably fixed all of his problems if someone just pointed them out to her?

This is only exacerbated by the fact that Marinette's behavior in season four is largely unchanged from her behavior in previous seasons. The only major change is that she revealed her identity to Alya, but as soon as that's pointed out as a problem, she course corrects with an apology. After that, she thinks that everything is okay because why wouldn't she? Chat Noir said it was fine and everything else has been business as usual.

Bringing temp heroes into help as needed? That's been going on since season two. Having these additional members has been vital in multiple battles and there have been plenty of times where Chat Noir took a background role to the temp hero of the day like in Sapotis, Rena Rouge's season two debut. So why would Maribug suddenly think that this dynamic is a problem when it's been working fine for so long? We even had a whole episode about how Chat Noir was still needed in spite of the new heroes back in season three! Or, at least, I think that was Desperada's message? This show is shockingly bad at giving clear lessons.

Keeping guardian knowledge from Chat Noir? That's also been going on since season two and was even treated as a conflict that supposedly got resolved in the episode Syren which was the episode that ended with Master Fu coming to the mansion to talk to Adrien after everything was over.

When I watched that episode, I assumed this meant that Chat Noir was going to be more involved in things like picking the temp heroes. I actually thought this was how we were going to get Queen Bee because I knew she was going to be a thing, but it made no sense for Marinette to pick Chloe for a miraculous. Of course, I was wrong. Nothing changed after Syren. Chat Noir remained nothing more than the comic relief while Ladybug got all the insider info.

To be clear, I think that was a terrible move writing wise, but it doesn't change the fact that this is what they went with. This is the established dynamic. I can't even say that Alya learning Marinette's secret led to something new. She's just taken Marinette's old role while Marinette has taken on Master Fu's old role. This show loves it's status quo and Chat Noir has been at least tolerant of that status quo since Syren, so it's not surprising that Maribug doesn't register that this is a thing that should change and no one bothers to point it out to her even though she has a mentor in Tikki (and Su Han, I guess?) and a confidant in Alya and a whole slew of Kwamis who could also provide insight if they were allowed to do that sort of thing. (Sass and Wayzz were robbed of mentor roles.) Additional blame goes to Plagg because he should absolutely have told Adrien to talk to Ladybug. What is the point of giving these characters mentors who never mentor? It's aggravating in the extreme.

To circle back to the first part of your ask, outside of Hack San and Rocketear, I don't think there are any times when Ladybug invites feedback from Chat Noir unless you want to give credit to the end of Kuro Neko:

Cat Noir: (lands next to her) I've been a really temperamental kitty, m'lady. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd make for you by giving back my Miraculous. Ladybug: (sits closer to him) Just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you at all, Cat Noir. No one could ever replace you.

Which isn't Maribug inviting him to tell her what's up, but she is clearly willing to listen to him and reassure him, further backing up my point about this conflict being some of the worst writing I've ever had to suffer through. If Maribug always fixes the issue as soon as she learns about it, you are not writing a situation where she's clearly in the wrong. You are writing an easily solved communication issue where she gets blamed for something she clearly doesn't realize she's doing wrong and it is so frustrating!!! I feel so bad for her. The next episode is Penalteam, btw, which starts the battle with this gem:

Ladybug: (laughs) Nice scare tactics, but it's not gonna work. Cat Noir and I are the best at soccer! Cat Noir: (Whispers to Ladybug) I don't know a thing about soccer M'lady. Maybe it's time to call the real team?

And basically just spends the whole episode making Chat Noir seems like a worthless partner while Maribug tries her best to make him - and everyone else - feel special.

Oh, and the episode before Kuro Neko? Well, it's technically Ephemeral, but that got magically overwritten so let's go one further back and we get to Dearest Family, which ends with this:

Cat Noir: (grabs a golden paper crown on the coffee table) Since I'm the king, (wears the crown on his head) would you be my queen, Ladybug? Ladybug: With pleasure, kitty cat! Tradition is tradition!

Oh yes, these two are in such conflict and Maribug does nothing to validate Chat Noir. He's in pain every episode and she's just totally oblivious to it.

If that was what they wrote, then I'd probably agree that we needed more instances of her asking if Chat Noir was okay. But it's not what they wrote. If you look through the list of season four episodes, you'll find that less than half of them deal with the supposed conflict of the season (by my count, only 8 of the 24 episodes before the final actually showcase the conflict and they are not in a logical order in terms of escalation as I tried to demonstrate above). The rest of the episodes flat out ignore it or even straight up work against the conflict like when Ladybug says this to Chat Noir in Guilttrip: "I probably don't tell you this enough, but I couldn't do this without you. And it'd be a lot less fun too."

Seriously, what even is this season? What is the conflict supposed to be? Because it sure as shit isn't Maribug undervaluing Chat Noir, if memory servers, season four sees her validate him more times than any other season. And it isn't her guiltily hiding things from him like so many fanfics claim because we have multiple points of evidence that prove that she's completely oblivious that there even is a conflict. So what conflict are the writers actually trying to write?

What's even more baffling is that none of this logically leads to the loss at the end of the season:

Maribug's new secrets didn't lead to her downfall. The only reason she lost was because of the secret that's always been there - a fact that's never revealed to her - and a freaking evil twin! So why did it matter that Maribug was keeping secrets? This is made even worse by season five maintaining all of the secrets, once again begging the question of what lesson were we trying to teach here???

Chat Noir wasn't needed for the final fight of the season, Maribug only needed the powers of a few of the temp heroes to win, a baffling ending to a season whose focus was Chat Noir feeling unimportant. You could scrap that conflict entirely and the ending would not change. In fact....

Adrien quitting to be nothing more than a good little boy who obeys his father would have actually saved the world from eventually being rewritten. If you think about it, the season four final actually punishes Adrien for being defiant. So does season five as, if Chat Noir had quit, his father would still be alive. I thought this show was supposed to be a romcom, not a tragedy. Why is Adrien being punished for being a hero? Is this supposed to be karma for lying to Ladybug with the whole Catwalker thing?

This shit is why I say I'm a writing salt, character sugar blog. I can't get mad at the characters when they're in such a nonsense story where things never logically tie together. They all deserve so much better.

None of this is meant to imply that ignorance is a blanket excuse for hurting others. Nor is it meant to imply that you have to forgive someone who hurt you just because they didn't mean to. There's a ton of nuance around these topics. But season four acknowledges none of that nuance while creating a situation that desperately needed nuance because there was no clear right and wrong here. Should Maribug work to be more aware of others feelings? Sure, but that journey can only start after she's made aware of her faults and no one ever points them out to her. Does Chat Noir need to work on clearly communicating his needs? Desperately, but no one is teaching him that lesson so he remains a terrible communicator who suffers in silence. What impressively bad writing.

[mariacallous]

you don't have to answer if you think it'll give you too much blowback but I think Biden's Israel strategy is that he thinks Bibi is likelier to listen to him if he gives US support than if he pulled the plug on support entirely, and he thinks Bibi would be even more unhinged if the US turned on him, so it's a harm reduction approach to diplomacy . There aren't any good options so he's taking the option that'll lose him the least votes domestically and what MIGHT result in Bibi being less awful. People can disagree with this strategy but it's frustrating to see the people who call him Genocide Joe not reading the news stories of the Biden administration putting immense pressure on the Israeli gov't behind the scenes. like idk maybe real diplomacy might work better in foreign policy than performative slogans and speeches ...

Unfortunately I think that’s exactly the calculation, and I do also think that it’s probably the best option available. Netanyahu and his government have made no secret of how extreme they are, and how little they care, both about people they disagree with/are opposed to and things like norms and morals. His government is also one that is prone to disproportionate reactions, both militarily and otherwise. All of that is to say that the options available and the outcomes are limited.

The US has also very poorly handled things in the Middle East (huge “no shit” moment there, I know, and obviously not just in the Middle East) historically and recently, and between the Trump administration left things in general and their specific actions re: Israel, the cards the US holds are very weak, and completely pulling support for Israel and doing the political and policy equivalents of chanting “from the river to the sea” a) makes Netanyahu and his government even more extreme and unresponsive and therefore they *really* can just go off and do what they want, since any restraining or moderating influence is completely gone, b) pushes them even closer to Russia and other powers who would welcome that kind of realignment and split, c) will cause Iran and its proxies (Hezbollah and Hamas) to be even more active and empowered and violent and d) is completely unhelpful for both Israeli and Palestinian civilians who would suffer more.

Because of how Biden has been handling things, we’ve gotten more aid in to Palestinians, more pressure to stop harming them, and more credit and support among the Israeli citizens, which puts even more pressure from above and below on Netanyahu, and it’s being done in a way that makes it difficult for Netanyahu and his government to try to use it or publicize it, plus it’s a steady pressure.

Is there more he could and should be doing? Absolutely. More aid and support going to Palestinians. Pushing even more on Egypt to open relief corridors. Less military aid being sent to Israel currently. But there’s no button or switch that can be used which just stops what’s happening.

[longing-for-rain]

Do you think that a lot of the kataang fans behavior has to do with the rise of puriteens online

Yes, I think it's definitely related to a lot of new fans' behavior.

I do want to say though, I really don't love the way "puriteens" are dunked on at times, because I think it is important to acknowledge the reason why this sentiment is so common. These kids are younger gen Z and older gen alpha kids that were raised in the age of social media. Speaking from experience a Zillenniel, I saw the beginnings of this when I was younger and just getting online.

Kids (especially girls, who make up the majority demographic of fandoms) are exposed to some pretty horrific things online from a young age. We are bombarded with sexual content, we are sexualized from a young age, we see ourselves talked about in dehumanizing ways, and when we get upset, we, even as children, are blamed for not "curating our experience" despite it being an open secret that this kind of content/sentiment pretty much unavoidable now. The people spreading it just don't want accountability. So I understand where they're coming from, I really do. They are tired of that kind of treatment, but they lack the maturity to understand the nuance, and that there is no black-and-white solution. There is space to talk about the problems in our culture without completely shutting down discussion of anything negative.

That being said, it's incredibly frustrating when they take it to extremes, especially when they're no longer teens and still act this way into adulthood. No, you can't hide from the world forever and pretend like problems don't exist. If you ignore it, it won't go away.

I see the sentiment a lot among the new wave of kataang fans (and similar groups of fans of other media) that "why does everyone hate the PURE couple" and "they are so sweet and innocent why do you want everything to be DARK instead?" It shows the harm in these kinds of mindsets, because while yes, kataang does have this cutesy aesthetic, it is very much a flawed relationship with challenges that both the show and fans sweep under the rug to maintain the illusion of its purity and cinnamon-roll-ness. The fans want a relationship devoid of conflict, so they pretend like the conflict that is already there and would arise in the relationship simply doesn't exist.

Meanwhile Zutara has an edgier aesthetic to it (despite actually being a sweet and wholesome relationship itself but that's another conversation) and comes with obvious challenges (like the characters beginning their story as enemies), but part of the beauty in that is the way the fans have interrogated those challenges and explored them in a meaningful way. Obviously not all fan content does this, but as someone who has enjoyed Zutara for...how long now? Almost 15 years? ...I generally see a very thoughtful approach to how both characters develop a strong relationship based on respect and understanding. Which is exactly what the show did with Zuko's arc. It's why he's such a loved character; yes, he is imperfect and flawed, but he confronted those flaws meaningfully and became a better person for it. It's what makes his story so memorable and inspiring. Zutara fans just apply the same logic to Zutara, and it's why the relationship is so memorable for us.

So yeah. I can understand where these kids are coming from, but they've got to grow up and recognize that they're only becoming their own worst enemies at this point.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Yandere Modern Sugar Daddy Aemond

I would say he is a very protective, kind, and caring sugar daddy. He would want to make sure to lavish you with gifts, flowers, jewelry, and love and affection. He would always be there to protect you from harm and provide for your comfort and happiness. He would want to get to know your interests and be sure to be there for you when you need him. He would want to be the one you go to when you need advice or comfort. He would do his best to give you the world and make sure you feel loved and supported.

He would be sure to be there to listen to whatever problems or frustrations that you might be having. He would want to be someone you could confide in and be open with. He would want to be your shoulder to cry on and to provide comfort and support in your times of need. He would make it his mission to make you feel like the most important person in his world. He would want to treat you like royalty, as you deserve to be treated. He would want to be there to help you through tough times and to be a source of strength and stability in your life.

He would also be a little bit possessive which progresses the longer you two keep seeing each other. He would like to know where you are at all times. He would want to make sure you are safe. He would want you to be close to him, always. He would also want to make sure you are loyal to him, and only him. He would want to be your one and only. In return, he would be the most loyal and dedicated sugar daddy you could ask for regardless if you fully know what you're getting from him or not.

Obviously, he would also be very obsessive. He would be constantly thinking about you and what goes on in your life so much to the point that it starts to become all he thinks about when you're not around him. He would want to know everything about you every like, dislike, childhood story. He would always think about how to please and provide for you when you don't ask for specific things he'll take over so much like student loans, rent, any bills, and new clothes you didn't ask for. He would want to be at your side at all times and he would want you to be at his side at all times. He would be obsessed with you and want you to be obsessed with him. He would want to monopolize your time, attention, and affection.

He's also controlling. He would want to have complete control over you and he would want you to be completely submissive to any and all desires he has. He would want to dictate your every move and control your every decision. He would want to be the one to make all the rules and he would want you to follow his every command. He would want you to be completely devoted to him and he would want to be the only one you cared about.

If he felt you were starting to lose interest in him, and started talking to other people even if innocently, he would be enraged. He would demand that you stop talking to these other people, and to only focus your attention on him. He would become jealous and even more possessive than before, and he would want you to be all his. If you failed to submit to his wants, then he would have to take more extreme measures to ensure that you do in fact stay loyal to him.

On good days when he feels you are truly doing your best and being good for him, he would spoil you with gifts of all kinds. He would shower you with flowers, jewelry, and any other kind of gifts you would appreciate. He would give you anything you wanted, no matter how expensive or how luxurious. He would be sure to always be thoughtful in what he gets for you and he would be sure to always take great care in selecting the perfect gift. He would be devoted to making you happy and he would spoil you with affection and love. He would do his best to make sure you were always happy and never disappointed.

He would and does punish you heavily for disobedience or betraying him. He would have a swift temper and he would not be afraid to use it if you stepped out of line. He would punish you with harsh words and he would not hesitate to use physical punishment as well. He would be very strict and demanding and he would make it clear that you had to obey him at all times and never disobey him. If you did, you would quickly face the consequences. He would not be afraid to use whatever means necessary to ensure you knew your place.

Since he is CEO for example, he would want to bring you with him to share in all of his accomplishments and successes even going as far as having you always sitting down on his lap even during meetings. I suppose the same would apply to any job really. He would want you to be there with him. His right hand, so to speak. He would show you off to his coworkers and they would be envious. You would be his most prized possession. His perfect little partner in all things.

What about work functions? or work galas? He is still getting you all dolled up ready to be on his arm, Of course. He would include you in those things as well. You would attend all work functions together and you would be his perfect date. He would want all of his coworkers to know that there is no one else like you. He would always look for opportunities to show you off to others. You would be a symbol of pride for him.

He would want to show you off whenever possible. He would never want to hide you as if you were a secret. He would want to brag about you to anyone with eyes and ears. He would be by your side everywhere he goes. You would be like a trophy of his that he would be proud to show off to the world.

If you ever wished to leave him, he would not let you. You are his, and you will never leave. He is sure you will never desire something like that, as you will be together forever, in a perfect life. But you would be foolish to think for even a second that it is possible to leave his side or betray him. It will not be tolerated he would never forgive you, nor would he allow you to escape from him. He would hunt you down and you would be brought back to him, kicking and screaming.

His jealousy is a powerful force. You would have his undying loyalty and his undying love. But he can get protective. If anyone should challenge him for your affection or should even think of making any kind of advance you and them would regret it. His temper is not to be trifled with. He would not hesitate for a moment to defend you and your honor.

He would be obsessed with everything about you. Your happiness would be his first priority. He would go to outrageous, possibly even villainous lengths to find what makes you smile. He would do anything to see you happy, any time, any day. He would go to the ends of the earth to provide you with what your heart desires. He would dedicate himself to you, and only to you.

If you ever were to lie to him, if you were to deceive him, or play with his emotions, then the punishment would be most severe. He would never tolerate such disrespect. Your devotion is to be complete and undying. Betraying one another would be a violation of that trust. You would be punished harshly and it would not be pretty.

He would not allow anyone to speak to you in a disrespectful manner. He would want to make sure they knew as much. If you were in trouble, he would do his best to aid you. If you were in danger, he would do whatever he could to get you out of it. He would want you to know that you are always on his mind. That you are precious to him, and he will not tolerate any disrespect directed towards you. And if disrespect is shown, the person guilty of it will rue the day he came into existence.

He would not allow you to go anyplace alone. If you wish to go out, he will accompany you. He would not risk you becoming prey to some predator lurking in the shadows. He would keep you safe. If you ever needed anything, he would be there to provide it. You would get whatever you asked for. No matter what it was, you could have it. He would make sure of it. His only purpose in life would be to please you. He would work to make you smile. Your safety and happiness would be essential to him.

He would want to possess you. He would want your thoughts, your time, your attention. He would want to be your primary concern ahead of everything else. He would want to be always on your mind. But if you could not do that, if such a thing was not possible, he would simply want to be as close as he could. To be a part of everything you do, every thought you have. He would want no distance between you two, no secrets, no lies, nothing. He would want to be your other half.

He would go so far as to eliminate any potential rivals who may threaten his relationship with you. He is capable of resorting to violence and manipulation to ensure that you are, in fact, his and his alone. He is ruthless in achieving his goals, and he will not hesitate to do whatever it takes to protect and possess you. He is a possessive and jealous yandere, and he will stop at nothing to ensure that you remain his.

Sometimes, he just likes to pin you down and watch you squirm. Show you whose boss while having some fun. 

Thigh riding. He loves itso much it’s a really hot way of testing his restraint and letting him get you as hot and bothered as he is.

He’s kind of into voyeurism. He finds the idea of someone being able to catch the two of you at any minute really thrilling, even going as far as to have you in his office making you scream for him. 

He can get a little rough when something’s bothering him, although you can’t say you mind. You can tell that he’s frustrated with something by the tightness of his grip and the force behind his hips. 

He is always horny. Doesn’t matter when, where, or when if you try to initiate something with him he’s about as ready as a rabbit who just popped six Viagra's. 

Honestly, he enjoys having you ride him in general. He gets a very nice view out of it. Plus, he likes being in control of how fast or slow you go as he'll tease you. 

"My love is as eternal as the fire from the dragon's mouth. It is everlasting and undying. It will burn as long as my heart still beats. My affection for you will never waver. Even if the rest of the world has turned its back on you, I will always be there, with open arms and an open heart. The sun might set, but my love for you is like the stars in the sky, always there, always visible, always bright. And my feelings for you are like the flames of the dragon, always there, always burning, always hot."

[genericpuff]

Idk if my addition will matter.

I've been following Hanza since back when they were making my deepest secret, so I've seen the development of the guy upstairs first hand and how hanza writes it. Even back in the concept stages, it was so blatantly clear that it was supposed to be a thriller/cat mouse vibe where Adam (killer) was horrible and not to be rooted for. They've compared him to irl serial killers and how those guys will often use women as shields to hide their true selves from the public and how that's messed up and bad to do.

They've shown Adam as a horrible irredeemable person and honestly there's little to no nuance with how they handle it, but that makes sense because how else can you handle an audience like what they've gotten without beating them over the head with the facts. How many ways can you outright show your main character despising and wanting to yank their best friend out of the jaws of a murderer before the audience realizes its not foreplay.

I think them going from an actual romance to a fully thriller non romantic story meant that the residual audience expected some kind of messy toxic romance, but Rozy to me has always explicitly read as Queer so idk why people aren't getting the hint.

I get their frustration and it seems like they might be shifting into a potiential issekai romance about a grandad and a middle aged woman who got reincarnated as his grandson's fiance (hard to explain but its hilarious if you want to check it out) without any thriller elements from their recent non comic posts. Whatever they do I hope they can find something to be passionate about again.

your addition VERY MUCH MATTERS actually because I don't read TGU and have very little context to the situation as a whole aside from what I've seen people talking about, which makes me reluctant to speak on it because I don't wanna go spreading misinformation in any regard. So I appreciate you taking the time to lay it all out for me, thank you!!! <3

And yeah, I've seen posts shared in the /r/webtoons sub from other blogs claiming that Hanza was being an awful person for "taking people's money" and "baiting them" into reading a dark romance story when that's very obviously not what it is? Even one excerpt that was literally like-

And I just... since when is any romance plotline that ISN'T abusive and problematic at its core (such as between a serial killer and a victim) considered "super conservative" and "pure"? It's really baffling to me how people have gone so far in the opposite direction of "purity culture" that they've started arguing on behalf of legitimately harmful and toxic relationships. It's extremely concerning especially when you know the majority of people saying this shit are between the ages of 16-21. IDK what the fuck we're doing anymore when it comes to the romance genre (and TGU isn't even a romance ffs).

Aaaand yeah in relation to where the Hanza topic came up, that's really why I'm moving away from WT as an audience and why I don't consider it a "loss" to not use WT anymore. Once upon a time I wished for Time Gate to be a contracted series, for it to have thousands of readers and be my job. But seeing what's going on with Hanza's work just informs me that I'd be dealing with a lot of the same shit - people expecting Uzuki and Mitsuhiro to be the endgame of the romance when they're literally NOT good for each other, which is the POINT. Like sure, unlike the main duo in TGU, they actually are a couple with a 'relationship' but it's not meant to be healthy and the last thing I need are 15 year olds thinking they're "couple goals". If you ship them in fanfic or w/e the fuck that's fine but please don't get mad at me when they don't wind up being the endgame couple, they're both terrible people and make each other worse when they're around each other (・_・;)

Either way yeah, I don't blame Hanza in the slightest for getting so frustrated with it all that they'd rather just be done with it. It sucks for the more loyal and sane part of their audience that the series is gonna be ripped out from under them like that, but at the end of the day if the creator is being harassed and decide they're done as a result of it... why should they have to keep putting up with bullshit just for a comic? I don't even blame Rachel if she was ending LO by choice due to the noise of the fandom, and unlike Rachel, I don't have anything in the slightest against Hanza or their work LOL But I also don't have the full picture on it all so maybe my opinion will change if I find out more about it. I just don't think any of this shit is worth directly harassing a human being over.

That said, can't get any better than someone who's read their work since before TGU, so again, thank you !

[fanficonly]

Wenclair x Reader -

What Are You?- Chapter 9

Getting back into posting semi-regularly only like a week after the last update... I call that progress... Enjoy 😋

"Excuse me?" Your tone is very offensive and you can't quite process what is happening.

"Wednesday what did we talk about?" Enid placed her hands on her hips, waiting for her oblivious girlfriend to grasp the social implications of the sentence she just so casually used.

"My apologies let me start at the beginning" she looks to Enid for approval and Enid nods turning back to you. "We know you weren't wandering the halls cause you wish to appease your appetite" she states accusingly

'Play dumb,play dumb, play dumb' your mind screams at you

"Uhhh what exactly are you accusing me of?" You reply, extremely confused because why was it such a crime to be out in the halls at 10:30pm? And what makes her an expert on what you were doing? And what the hell has that got to do with you literally having the demand to strip hurled your way by the petite woman?

"No accusations, we are merely suspicious of you" Wednesday narrowed her eyes as panic flooded throughout your body. Crap! This is not what you needed right now. These 2 were relentless. How are you suppose to limit your weirdly growing feelings towards the 2 if in just 24 hours they have made it their mission to be around you invading your space like a rag-tag alien duo on a mission for information.

"Why? You barely know me?" Was all that you could think to say. Like don't get you wrong, you're flattered they are even the slightest bit interested in you, even if it is just because they are weary of you but still it didn't make sense. Surely you were just another outcast to them, why did they care ...noone else ever has.

Well sure the whole draining Enid part obviously peaked thier interest but you didn't think it would go this far. In fact you expected to be attacked by Wednesday and then for both girls to avoid you the rest of the year. Which, as much as it would be soul crushing, was better than hurting the only 2 people you had even remotely connected with in years.

Both girls remained silent and you became fidgety with the lack of noise or explanation. They were looking at eachother now not saying a word and merely making faces. Well... Enid was making faces, Wednesday on the other hand remained straight-faced and unmoving.

"So are you gonna tell us who or what attacked you?" Enid suddenly spoke completely changing the subject.

"Nothing attacked me I told you it was an accident just me being clumsy" You're not sure why you feel the need to even explain. You could just deflect since you barely know these girls but something about them caused you to have an internal conflict when lying to them.

"How dense do you think we are?" Wednesday deadpanned, not buying a single word of what you were saying.

Try Harder.

Convince them.

Wednesday moves towards her bed lightly frustrated with your uncooperative nature and pulls out what can only be described as a surgeons dream suitcase full of torturous looking tools.

"What are you doing?" you take a step back eyes fixated on the array of sharp instruments, holding your hands up in defense. You understood she was violent but was she really going to cut yo with a thousand knives?! A psychopath really shouldn't be this attractive to you ... It's troubling to say the least.

"Relax I told Wednesday she wasn't allowed to torture information out of you" Enid smiled way to widely for someone who just implied that they had discussed causing you grievous bodily harm but the wink it was paired with was even more disconcerting.

"It would make things a lot easier my dear" Wednesday hummed from behind Enid, lightly irritated by the power that her girlfriend had over her.

"Babe we discussed this" Enid's smile never wavered and instead she spoke through gritted teeth, trying to convince you that you were in no danger. Honestly, the smile that pulled at your own lips was of a betraying nature considering they were literally talking about the fact they had pre-discussed torturing you. But they were just so ... Funny and cute and- stop it! You free yourself from the cage you were about to trap yourself in.

"Yes dear" Wednesday folded. It seemed rather unnatural for a woman of her standing but you chose not to pry, instead changing the subject

"Ok lovely to know you won't be inflicting any harm on me but what's with the umm- the surgical equipment then?" you point to the devices and relax slightly, still keeping your guard raised.

"I do usually use these to inflict harm but they can heal all the same." Wednesday speaks arranging the tools neatly across her table

well that's terrifying.

You flit your eyes between Wednesday and the sharp instruments, unable to hide the discomfort you feel and then ultimately look towards Enid with a pleading look.

"I Promise it's safe. Wednesday has extensive medical training" Enid walks closer to you, hands raise to show you that she was not trying to hurt you.

"Umm well I just-" How do you get out of this! There's no way they are going to let you leave but if you stay that means more questions and more questions means more suspicions raised.

"Look" Enid raised her shirt exposing her torso ever so slightly and it's as if by instinct you look away. What was she doing, this kind of exposure made you physically ache with desire. Once she reaches you however she takes a breath and says "Mine healed". This sparks your interest and you slowly trail your eyes to her torso

You're eyes widen at the sight of 4 large scars painted across her hip.

"Oh my god what happened?" you can't hide your concern, it looked painful almost like the person or thing that inflicted them was attempting to kill rather than injure.

"I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours" she speaks more seriously this time and you can't help but let out a breathy "huh" as Enid lowers her shirt, a small innocent smile playing on her lips, teasing you.

"Well played" you mumble, rolling your eyes.

Before you can say anything else or Enid has a chance to respond you hear Wednesday's voice

"Enid come here darlin I need your claws" she didn't turn away from the desk until Enid skipped over to her effortlessly retracting her colourful claws.

Wednesday craned her neck slightly up and whispered something in Enid's ear and you watch as her eyes flick to you quickly then back to Wednesday. She kisses the pale girls cheek and you hear Wednesday say "Take this" and the 2 move in sync, the image of what they are doing hidden by there bodies "Here" Wednesday says again.

This is your chance , while they are distracted, just creep towards the door slowly and quietly and ...

No that would never work they could just corner you tomorrow. But you could just avoid them, give you time to think of an explanation? You did need to be stitched up but you had also already called your wicked godmother, regardless of whether she had answered or not. But could you even trust Wednesday near you with a literal murder weapon? Thoughts swirl in your head violently as you try to make a decision.

Quick you're running out of time!

Fuck it. You decide to do exactly what you had originally planned after much deliberation in your own head.

You take a step back. No indication that either of the girls had noticed. Thank God they were so focused on the equipment instead of you. So you continue to walk backwards, finally reaching for the door after moving agonisingly slowly towards it and never taking your eyes off of thier backs.

Your hand lightly twist the door a very very quiet click is heard and you wince at the noise, your eyes jumping to Enid and Wednesday who still seemed oblivious.

Right as you go to swing the door open and make a break for it, the door knob slips from between your grasp and a loud BANG! From the door closing shudders throughout the room

"What the-" was that magic? Who the fuck slammed the door shut? You eye the door up and down then physically jump at the sight of a disembodied hand at the foot of the door wagging its finger at you "Holy fu-" you hold your hands down in defense much like you had when the mouse had scuttled it's way towards you and then turn your head towards the eyes in the room.

Wednesday and Enid made no attempt to move from where they were stood and instead both stared at you, arms crossed in disapproval of your failed escape attempt.

"Thank You Thing" Wednesday says politely still looking at you eyebrows raised. Right now you're not sure whether to die from embarrassment being bested by a hand or to drop to your knees and plead not guilty.

Plan failed.

"Uhhhh, I was just-" you're kind of glad you were interrupted because even you weren't sure what half arsed explanation your brain would muster up for you anyway.

"Trying to escape we know" Wednesday deadpans and the way her eyes drill into your soul is either really unsettling or incredibly captivating... You haven't decided which yet.

"She's not a prisoner Wednesday" Enid's disapproval moved towards Wednesday then back to you reassuringly "Youre not a prisoner Y/N" she sighs out making her way towards you, Wednesday following suit as if magnetically connected to the blonde

"Kind of feels like I am" you let out a nervous laugh while side-eyeing ... What did Wednesday call it ... Thing?

"Leave if you must Y/N I am only trying to help" Wednesday spoke

"In return for what though?" you weren't used to getting things without anything expected in return. Someone helps you, you owe them a favour it's as simple as that. And although you hadn't known them all that long you're brain was bombarded with various dangerous scenarios you may end up in trying to make up for everything.

"An explanation of who and what you are" Wednesday says and stares at you expectantly. Well you knew she was straightforward but damn tell me what you want straight up why don't you.

"Wednesday!" Enid shot her girlfriend a look. Clearly subtlety was not Wednesday's strong suit

"Heh she's straightforward I'll give you that" you find yourself smirking at Enid as if admiring her choice of mate.

"Not a lot of anything else she does is straight don't worry" Enid pipes up taking the opportunity to lighten the mood and you let out a surprised laugh at the witty response.

Her girlfriend however simply rolls her eyes at the joke, but fails to suppress the small smile that flashes across her features for a millisecond. Then her face twists into one of annoyance

"You want honesty?" Wednesday took a step forward offensively, wide eyes threatening you And although you were slightly terrified you pursed your lips rubbing your chin and taking a more loose step forward yourself

"Yes I do" you found yourself challenging the girl, tilting your head.

"You don't know who you're messing with" Wednesday warned and you watched as Enid tugged harshly at Wednesdays sleeve, silently trying to end the impending conflict

"I like to think I could take you" you fold your arms. You weren't one to back down from a fight ... As long as that fight wasn't with ... Certain people in your life.

"Enid she's a comedian" Wednesday eerily tilted her head to the side, mirroring your actions and eventhough it shook you to your very core you told yourself to suck it up and sarcastically said

"Why thank you" performing a courtesy and smiling.

"Listen-" she starts but you can't risk her coming up with an airtight argument against you

"No you listen I appreciate what you're trying to do but this is bigger than-" and yet you were still interrupted obviously failing at asserting any kind of dominance. But really what hand did you have to play here

"Stop talking." She demanded, finally some kind of emotion peaking out from beneath her icy exterior.

"What I-" again she didn't let you finish.

"You want honesty?" She asked rhetorically again "You. Hurt. Enid" each word felt like a thousand cuts and all you could do was submit and look away in shame, prompting Wednesday to continue "And yet I am still here offering you aid in your time of need because it is what Enid wants and quite frankly I would like to help you aswell and I am not sure why so let me help you or don't..." She begins to move towards you with a fiery and threatening posture "but just understand this you do not want me as an enemy I will make sure that every moment in your life becomes nothing more than a waking nightmare and- " the passion, the fire, the energy she exerted was mesmerising and you're sure it's the most she's spoken in one breath since you met her.

"Okayyyyyy" Enid placed herself between the two of you. With each word Wednesday got closer and closer to you and honestly the relief you felt seeing the back of the blonde's head before Wednesday reached you was incredible

"You're right" you sigh in defeat "I'm sorry and I know that's not enough but I would like to make it up to you... The both of you" Everything Wednesday said was right and although you couldn't share much with them, all they had done so far is try to help so you could accept the help and start making amends. In fact you were going to accept the help and start making amends immediately.

She nods at you then motions for you to sit on the bed.

"I've just always been taught to be defensive I know you're only trying to help" you continue trying to settle the Seer even more so before she took a needle to your skin

"I believe you... now... I ask you once again to take your top off" Wednesday repeats and this time you can't help but reply

"More like an order but okay" unbuttoning your shirt nonetheless only pausing when Enid chimes in

"I know it's hot isn't it" she smirks and you laugh a little and weirdly enough find yourself nodding in agreement

"Enid" Wednesday's voice says it all and with no more words spoken the blonde submits.

"Sorry babe" she mumbles trying to dull her excitement.

What is going on?! You're really unsure of everything now. How quickly you switch between hating eachother and helping eachother. It's like Enid was the peacekeeper, the balance ... And to be honest the flirt and Wednesday was... Ohhhh now you understand why they work so well together.

So you do exactly as instructed and continue to take your shirt off, unbuttoning it slowly and rather timidly at that.

"Sorry it's a little awkward" you nervously laugh letting the shirt fall off your shoulders

"It's perfectly fine we have already seen-" Enid's words tangle into a grunt as Wednesday harshly elbows her in an attempt to stop her from talking.

"What?" You halt your actions, your chest half exposed and now suspicion filling your gut while continuing to remove the item of clothing but slower this time with more distrust.

"I meeean- it's nothing we haven't seen before you know, we're all women here" Enid laughs it off but you're still skeptical.

You had every right to be as at this very moment, Thing had been inspecting the box you came in with and as he popped open the lid the mouse you had so triumphantly caught earlier scurried out hurriedly and ran down the table leg.

""Ah nooo I just caught you you little- " and again your words fall short when you watch the mouse run towards Wednesday, scuttle up her leg and practically dive into her pocket

Your mouth slowly falls open in mortifying realisation.

"You ..." You say the word accusingly pointing a finger at both girls and slowly rising from the bed, as you consider pulling the shirt back up over your shoulders

"Y/N its not what you think" Enid screeched out defensively

"It's probably close to what she is currently thinking" Wednesday rebutted, not helping the situation AT ALL.

"You guys were..." With each passing moments your mind fills in the blanks. They never left! They were there the whole time! While you were undressing and calling your- oh god...

"No no it's not it's not what you think" Enid is stumbling over her words now but nothing could stop you from the information encasing your head with fears and doubts galore.

"She's a smart girl I'm sure she'll connect the dots" Wednesday smirks as if enjoying the thrill of being caught in a lie.

"Wednesday!" Enid yells face palming and shaking her head

[mutsukiss]

Reading the first book is actually insightful on the last episode because without it the whole "you're so boring!!!!" rant comes very out of the blue. In the show Louis is SUPER tame about himself as a vampire and vampires in general because he reduces himself to this weird self flagellation cycle of "oooh I'm so bad and evil I kill people how will I ever live with myself *becomes a serial killer*" and he doesn't have much,, care? Love? Appreciation? For himself and his life. He's just stumbling around and being a victim of the narrative. Things happen to him and sometimes he's an active participant, and that's it.

In the book Louis is SO eager to go and learn to be a vampire and do vampire things and explore what being a vampire is. He makes references constantly about how his first experiences were rushed and messy and got him this extreme high he searches for everywhere, and is immensely frustrated because Lestat is instead reduced to someone who is solely focused on his own damaging cycle and has no desire to enjoy the trip, just to chase the high. Show!Louis engages in hobbies and has his own opinions and boundaries and makes them know but he also doesn't ask or suggest or even demand a lot of times, specially/specifically with Armand. He says "this is how I'm going to go through this thing, you are free to take it or not but I'm not following after if you decide to not agree" and it puts people in a position. He's paradoxically giving others the freedom to follow their own rules, but by creating a punishing situation. Don't come to see me if you want me to join the coven, we don't need to put a name to our relationship, ignore that I imagine Lestat when I'm with you. These are mostly understandable requests knowing his background and context that still put Armand in a difficult position and he's not really given any wiggle room around them. Armand attempts to get into Louis' world and enter him in Armand's, but Louis isn't really interested in anything outside of what he finds comfortable or familiar and doesn't have a lot of drive to go and pursue new things about him nor others around him unless he's accompanied or pushed by another character, the being exception the interview in the present.

The overzealous, identity-missing, heartstruck Armand; in all of his own manipulative and calculating skills and habits, agrees to Louis roaming around to cruise and drug, fuck, kill and get high from 128 !! persons in the 70's only, cleaning after him, and we are given the image that he has never complained about this ever, not ONCE. We see Armand giving in to whatever Louis says, having kind gestures to him, spending time with him, having what I believe is infinite patience. I dont think these are difficult or unpleasant tasks for him, i dont think they are tasks at all. He is courting and ¿dating? someone and these interactions are obviously pleasurable to him. Armand says if Louis wanted for him to go away he just had to ask, and even after we are made aware of him tampering with Louis' and Daniel's memories, i believe that had Louis asked him that he would have complied. So WHAT is Louis looking for that he couldn't ask Armand for and have him agree to. If what he is expecting or wanting is resistance, HOW does that make Armand boring. How can Armand refuse Louis when that implies a complete negative, a total refusal of future positive interactions. What more was there for Armand to do in that situation?

Ultimately I think Louis is coping as best as he can and he has realized he is resorting to harmful behaviors and attempting to recreate past toxic dynamics, and that it won't make him happy because it didn't make him happy in the past, but that he is equally unhappy now even when things are supposed to be "fine", whatever his defintion of fine is. And this is something that would have been incredibly more clear if Show!Louis had been given Book!Louis' wanderlust and eagerness to learn and do new things, because with that in context, the conversation in the flat makes complete sense to me, even if it's still unfair for both parties, but it's something that may feel so sudden and out of the blue for show only viewers.

[changbinsboobs]

i hope you recognize with your last post you are actively promoting homphobia, and harming and making queer stays feel unsafe in an environment thats supposed to be everyone's safe space and escape. you CANNOT presume someone's feelings towards queer people and you especially cannot speculate someone's sexuality (like you did with your "readings" for felix minho and jisung) through TAROT. BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW THEM. your post is extremely harmful, you are perpetuating narratives of perversion and exposing queer stays like myself to hate in a space that should be safe for everyone. and the delusion you have to believe changbin is "talking" to you.... disrespectfully, get some help! and delete your post - and your entire blog - while you're at it!

Idk if this is the same person from the last comment or not, but i assume so.

I do not think my last post is promoting homophobia nor do i think it is my responsibility to coddle every other person on the internet. You have responsibility over your own self, what you consume and how you react/let it affect you.

And i don't think you have the slightest idea what tarot is and what its used for because, thats exactly what its used for. U use tarot on people, situations, yourself etc you don't know about so that you gain more clarity about it.

And you saying my post is exposing queer stays like yourself to hate is just insane😂 ur acting as if the worlds all flowers and butterflies and im the only person that out of my own will is actively spreading hate towards queer stays?! Are you hearing yourself?🫣🫠 Ur the one exposing yourself and projecting right now! And by the way - the internet is NOT A SAFE SPACE!!!! Not for me, not for you, not for anyone. You are not entitled to anything. No one is! And just some friendly advice - you can't expect and demand from people to accustom themselves to your needs - you'll just frustrate yourself. And you also can't speak for everyone. Someone has requested this reading because they were curious (might've even been you who knows). I did it because that's what my blog is about. And i state in all of my readings to take them with a grain of salt and that you shouldn't take them as facts! My content is lighthearted and based predominantly on interactions with my followers. So, respectfully, i will not be deleting the post just because you demanded, i will not delete my blog either and i advise you to get some help because you obviously need it:)

Oh also i just noticed - you've been following my readings for a while to know so much about me and my readings. If you think im so delusional, and project so much, and that my reading are harmful and whatnot - then why do you continue reading them?😂 i literary cannot comprehend your logic, cuz when i don't like something or someone i simply just distance myself :) u should try that too💗

[miraculousagentsofkrypton]

Just a small frustrated stream of consciousness, don’t mind it’s rushed nature:

You know, there's a very specific kind of behavior and type of trauma response that people like in characters. Fandoms go out of their way to justify their lashing out, to make it cute. Many times, there are understandable reasons for how they turned out the way they did. To each their own, if someone wants to latch on to different characters, that's their prerogative and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, there are two aspects of the way some fans approach things that I am so frustrated by. I run into them time and time again. Obviously, part of it is just how it attacks my own favorite characters constantly, but it can also be a sign of unhealthy patterns in how people think about real people with trauma or in certain circumstances.

First part: Lack of recognition that there is more than one way that trauma presents itself. I find it is often the case that people give characters like Jinx, Catra, Lena Luthor, Adrien Agreste, Leo Fitz, and Steve Harrington a pass. And I get it, they are likable characters! They have complex reasons, and tragic pasts, and weren't ever actively trying to be bad people. Many of them are genuinely good people. Their mistakes are treated with compassion and understanding by their fandoms.

Their friends or significant-others’ traumas, however, are frequently not. Vi, Adora, Kara Danvers, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Daisy Johnson, and Nancy Wheeler are examples of group ones' counterparts. These are characters that respond to trauma in a different way from the first group. Theirs is less immediately obvious, as they don't lash out the same way.

They tend to repress and avoid. They react to hurt by trying to help. These are masks that many people overlook. The second group are the kind that like to take responsibility onto themselves unnecessarily. They all deal with survivors' guilt, or something of the sort. They are hard on themselves, rather than others. This does not mean that they are correct in that blame. They don't look as obviously in pain or in need of help, and so people take them at face value. This creates a different perspective when they do lash out, or when they do make mistakes. Suddenly, there isn't any of the compassionate understanding given to others. They should have been on top of things, should have understood what others were feeling, and how it hurt them. Because they had been shown to make an effort to understand before.

And THAT'S DUMB.

Believe me when I say that that is an extraordinarily harmful way to approach people like that! Just because they hold themselves up to an extremely high standard, doesn’t mean others should too! The second group needs just as much help as the first, and be given equal levels of leniency and compassion. Because of their outward appearances though, people don’t realize that. Fandom’s don’t find that as appealing, because they still take these characters at face value, even though they are shown more of what’s going on under the surface than anyone in the character’s world. 

And that leads to the second point, that people like to shift blame and responsibility off of the first group and onto the second. People project onto characters, it’s just a part of fandom. What ends up happening though, is that creates a desire to remove the responsibility/blame from their chosen character, and place it onto someone else. 

There’s a difference between understanding and feeling empathy for someone, and removing responsibility. Removing responsibility means the responsibility must be put on someone else, because it can’t be removed entirely from the equation. Someone needs to come down, to prop the first one up, in situations where character one either hurts the other, or shares the blame with them. Doing this does two things, which are harmful to both characters. It infantilizes character one, as suddenly they aren’t capable of truly making their own choices. Two, it warps the view of character two. It villianizes them for things outside of their control. It becomes more than just preferring one character over another. I don’t know how else to say it other than, That’s Bad. 

It also ruins fandom content for people who like character two. They don’t have to be the center of everything, but no one likes reading a fic only to realize that character two is being treated with hate by the author. 

It doesn’t have to be either or! People can have compassion and empathy for multiple characters in a conflict! Heck, there are plenty of examples where people on both sides are both right and wrong. I don’t know where I’m going with this, and I’m not hating on people who love those characters, but gosh darn it, is there anyone else who understands?? I am so sick and tired of having to avoid large swaths of fan content because they are so populated with dislike for the types of characters I relate to or love.

[gotham-is-the-best-worst-show]

Talking About The Isabella Arc part 2

We know about Oswald's issues. We see the way he is underestimated and mocked by people who don’t know what he’s capable of. We see his codependent relationship with his mom. We see the way he tries to befriend Jim.

We know Oswald desperately wants deep and authentic companionship (romantic and platonic) because he feels extremely rejected by the world, and after his mother's death, I assume that his mother being kidnapped, tortured and killed feels to Oswald as if it is punishment for ever thinking he could be loved.

The one person who ever loved him truly was killed in such a cruel way. To Oswald's heart, he probably rationalizes that that is exactly the reason why she was killed. I’d imagine that Oswald feels even more insecure than he was before. Two hundredfold more after his father's murder.

Oswald falls in love with Ed. It makes sense. He and Ed are very similar, they have great chemistry, and Ed supports him.

I understand this. I do not however understand how one-sided the Isabella arc is. It seems purposefully written, at times, just to make Ed look irrational, and I really do not understand why.

I feel as though the audience is supposed to be on Oswald's side, and feel for him, while feeling that Ed is overreacting. Why? I don’t see what the point of it is, and it does both Oswald and Ed's characters a great disservice, I feel.

With my shipper goggles on, Ed's continued rejection of Oswald didn’t make any sense to me. They seemed very well suited to each other. Ed's reasons for never being romantically interested in Oswald seemed mostly non-existent.

And with how deeply he obviously cares for Oswald, it’s very easy for someone to be frustrated at him for not reciprocating Oswald's feelings. But when I take the goggles off, I realize how kind of offensive that perspective is.

When I try to put myself in Ed's shoes, I understand completely. Ed, like Oswald, desires deep companionship. The first girl who ever dated him (which he worked very hard to woo, he even killed a guy for her) fulfilled this need when he felt very alone and rejected in his life, but he accidentally killed her.

Ed finds a friend who gives him allyship, power and understanding. He works as Oswald's chief of staff, spending all his days doing things about him and for him.

He is given a second chance to redeem the relationship he ruined, and this time, she is even more fit for him. The problems with his relationship with Kristen are amended: Kristen still didn’t really appreciate Ed's quirks, and she (for good reason) distrusted him about Tom's disappearance.

Isabella likes his quirks and his riddles, and she completely trusts him to not harm her, even when knowing everything about his murders. (Yes, Isabella is sinister for quite a few reasons, but this is from Ed's perspective)

But that friend who is also his boss tries to scare Isabella away. And he tries to manipulate him into thinking he will kill Isabella.

(I personally feel that part in particular is really fucked up. If someone tried to convince me of something like that, I would flip out. I have OCD so it’s very harmful to convince me that I have no control over my actions.)

His friend then kills his girlfriend. Not only did he kill his second chance at love and redemption, but Oswald shows that to him, Ed is as much a pawn as anyone else in his life. From Ed's perspective, Ed is not special to him, he is only an object to be manipulated into doing what Oswald wants.

Oswald did that to this man who saved his life when he nursed him back to health, who went up against Butch to prove Oswald was loved, and again went up against Butch to prove to Oswald how much he means to him. He works for him day in and day out, and this is what Oswald does to him? All the sacrifices Ed made wasn’t enough, he had to take his girlfriend too? He had to plant doubt in Ed's head that he can’t be with a woman because he’d kill her?

Not only that, but Oswald's motives are romantic. He didn’t just treat Ed like his loved one didn’t matter, that his choices in life don’t matter, but he did it because he, supposedly, 'lOoOoOves' Ed. What a sick joke. What an absolutely dehumanizing insult.

I thought that Ed's accusations of selfishness were random and hypocritical, but even if they are hypocritical, I understand now.

Ed thought he was special to Oswald. He thought that he would not be subject to Oswald's cruelty like the rest of Oswald's goons, he thought that Oswald cared for him, was his true friend. But it turns out, (in Ed's mind) Oswald doesn’t care about Ed's feelings either. There is nothing Ed could do to make Oswald care enough about him to not kill the people closest to him for his own personal desires.

The person he tirelessly worked to befriend, who he fell in love with (platonic or romantic) is in fact a chasmous void that is not capable of reciprocating true caring.

And Oswald thought it would work. He thought he could just manipulate Ed and kill Isabella, and Ed would be his. He thought that he could just treat him like his true emotions didn’t matter and that would work. He REALLY thinks that poorly of him. He thinks it’s okay to use the person he 'loves' like that as long as Ed wouldn’t find out.

And imagine, just imagine how angry Ed must feel, how stupid he must feel that he really thought this cold blooded crimelord would care for him special. Imagine how regretful he feels that he did all this for Oswald, only to be used like he’s not even a human being, just a pretty thing for Oswald to play with.

And Oswald thinks saying he loves him makes it all better? He thinks that that doesn’t make Ed feel even more disrespected and objectified? Really? The fact that he doesn’t see how that makes it worse just goes to solidify in Ed's mind that Oswald is too selfish to ever truly care for him.

And as he’s about to be killed, he goes and tells Ed he 'made' him, same as when Fish told him? That he was nothing until she made him someone? It’s so shamelessly slimy.

If I was Ed, I would be livid. I would be heartbroken.

God, I wish we could have seen more of Ed's internal thought process. All we saw was one-dimensional anger, and it was so not fair. That’s so much more boring. There are so many things that could have been done to show Ed's side a bit more, and I’m disappointed that it didn’t happen.

Again, it’s easy to look at Ed's behavior and berate him for his internalized homophobia and repression, but let's face it: Even if Ed were in love with Oswald (which I think he was), he doesn’t owe Oswald anything at all. It’s completely his choice. Just because Oswald is a sad lonely little uwu gay baby doesn’t mean he needs to reciprocate.

No one, no matter how in love and desperate they are, and how bad they need to be accepted, is owed your love. That’s true of anyone.

If Ed was a woman, and Oswald killed Isabella to have Ed all to himself, it would be a VERY different story. There’s no way anyone could not see Oswald's predatory behavior if the genders were different. You see what I’m saying?

This is not at all a nygmobblepot hate post, if you try to say that, I will block you. I wouldn’t care so much if I didn’t love nygmobblepot with all my heart. It’s why I would want their chemistry to really shine.

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

'todoroki doesnt even want to be a hero, thats just something endeavor forced him into/pushed onto him'

did??? we all??? watch??? the same show????

todoroki openly antagonises Endeavor, to his face, numerous times 

even as a literal toddler he would stand up to endeavor, yelling at him to not hurt rei, and after rei pours the hot water on his face, todoroki told endeavor ‘it’s your fault she hurt me’ 

he slaps his hand away after the provisional licence remedial training, and in the endeavor agency arc he tells him to ‘stop acting like my dad in front of my friends’ 

just in general his manner of speaking to Endeavor is very disrespectful and outwardly aggressive in japanese

basically, hes not afraid of pissng off his dad, at all, even in public

so if todoroki truly didnt want to be a hero, what gives you the impression that he wouldnt just straight up refuse to go to UA, or at least do everything within his power to fail his classes/get expelled??

the whole point of his fight with midoriya at the sports festival is todoroki accepting himself and that his power is his own, not endeavor's, and that its okay for him to become a hero using it

literally what does todoroki say after midoriya yells 'its your power isnt it?!' at him? in that moment where himself admits that he forgot all about endeavor and wasnt thinking about him at all??? he says 'I want to be a hero too'

look i get why this take is popular, lots of people can relate to todoroki in that they have shitty/abusive parents who forced them into a career path or life style they dont wanna do

and so obviously they project those feelings of discontent and resentment back onto todoroki

but in the literal canonical text of bnha, his character aspires to be a great hero just like midoriya and bakugou

if heroics truly was 100% something that endeavor just forced onto him, why did todoroki go to help midoriya and iida in hosu? why did he follow midoriya and bakugou at jaku? why did, along with kirishima, he approach yaoyorozu to get a nomu tracker off of her after bakugou was kidnapped and say that he was going to make a rescue attempt whether or not midoriya or anyone else joined him? why did he run in to try to save all might from the nomu at USJ?

like???? i dont have anything against people having differing interepretations of a character or headcanons from me, ofc different ppl will read the same thing differently

but this is a take that is just so extremely the opposite of todoroki's canonical characterisation it baffles me that its so common??

did we all miss the part where he was deeply frustrated with himself for failing he provisional liscence exam? or where he decided that he needed to be the one to stop dabi?? the fact that he carries first aid supplies in his hero costume so he can better help people?? or how he suggested a concert for the school festival because he thought itd be a good idea to do something 'fun' and 'stress relieving' for the other students at UA???

idk, ofc at the end of the day ppl can headcanon what they like and everyones interpretations are valid and none of this actually causes any harm to anybody etcetera etcetera, art is subjective and all that

(like this is benign fandom bullshit for a mediorce shounen battle series, im self aware that none of this actually matters)

but idk im just still confused as to how ppl seem to miss the point so fuckin badly with todoroki's character

[colorisbyshe]

I think part of the frustration with people being so uninformed by historical movements, especially 2nd wave feminism, is that they don’t get that political lesbianism as a movement was deeply lesbophobic too, and still realistically hurts lesbians today with the subconscious attitude that simply choosing not to date men or interact with men is what makes a lesbian. Which then is how you also get weirdos thinking lesbians should make space to give dating men a shot. And thinking lesbians, who are not attracted to men, are exactly the same as the rage bait terf folks harping about cutting men off from dating women.

Obviously this is. A facet of the larger problem with this ideology, but it’s frustrating how few people acknowledge how damaging it was for more than lesbian separatist reasons. Straight women (a significant amount of political lesbians) largely trying to take over lesbian spaces in the name of feminism was also deeply traumatic for the community too.

Absolutely, it was also a grossly biphobic movement AND.... misogynistic. Second wave feminism, separatist feminism, political lesbianism found a way to really attack all women on an ideological level, not even getting into how the entire era was also... deeply racist.

Political lesbianism was not for lesbians (especially when its leaders tried to define lesbian as just women who didn't date men, by choice or otherwise) or any other women attracted to women. It wasn't for anyone other than the most privileged of women and often led to just attacking more vulnerable, more marginalized women.

While the ideology is not identical, movements like 4B are not for the longterm benefit of most women. Or most marginalized people. (When you separate women as the only cause worth caring about, you leave out... every marginalized group. When you stop caring abut the rights of every marginalized group, you inevitably harm... the women of those groups.)

I'm not even going to claim to be an expert on any of these movements: I have done readings on those I am speaking about but haven't done extremely deep dies into them but part of why I haven't is because... the flaws ae on the surface level. You don't really have to get into the nitty gritty or nuance of these movements to realize that they are fundamentally flawed.

To have a movement that effectively says "Women's oppression is literally stored in the balls (ie the sex with men, which are presumed to be people with balls)" is... inherently stupid. You aren't more or less oppressed when you have sex with or date men. Men aren't getting their power from sex or romance with women. You aren't really harming or criticizing rape culture.

Likewise with political lesbianism, being perpetually single or fucking women doesn't free you from misogyny's impact or even necessarily empower you against it. "Act the right way towards men or you deserve what you get from them" isn't feminism. It is victim blaming, though.

These movements just sort of become... prescriptivist in the same way the systems they're supposedly rebelling against. "Act this way or you're the enemy." "Do this or you deserve what you get."

"Our gender MUST act this way" only ever hurts your gender.

Which is the flaw of most radical feminist movements. They exist to take power from men and then lord that same power over more vulnerable and/or more "deviant" women. Or any other more vulnerable group (like white radfems using white supremacy in tandem with their radical feminism).

There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual or straight and choosing to not date or have sex with men. For whatever reason.

Turning that into political movement where you then try to dictate the right/wrong ways to have sex, date as some sort of moral code... that's where you are just recreating the harms you're supposedly against.

Like... on the most obvious level, these movements are extremely stupid and there's no other way to frame that. They’re not just morally bad, they make no fucking sense. Even if you don't understand the bioessentialism, the way certain identities are stripped of meaning or politicized even when they're innate, or whatever...

just on its face... how the fuck are women liberated by new terms dictating what sex and love they're allowed to have, what reproductive choices they're allowed to make? implying by having sex with someone gives them power is inherently and obviously harmful

we need to be so fucking real

[guiltyofbitchcraft]

So... let's talk about how we talk about Barbara's fridging scene in The Killing Joke. I know a lot of people have talked about it so this may feel redundant but I've been reminded recently about how discussions around this topic can lead to a lack of nuance if not straight up offensive takes. Content Warning: This post is about sexual assault and contains descriptions of sexual assault

So every once in awhile I see the "was Barbara raped?" question pop up online. I think many can agree with me in saying this isn't really a productive line of questioning. It's often frustrating and can lead to comments made in very poor taste while diminishing the complexities of sexual assault.

So since these convos are still happening in 2024 I guess I might as well throw my own take into the education side of the ring.

So first off let's dissect what the book and the following comics that keep the event canon tell us. I will keep these descriptions as brief as possible and I won't be sharing comic panels. We know she was shot. We know her clothes were forcibly removed. We know the Joker took pictures. That is consistently the story of what happened to Barbara that night.

As far as I know there is no art or dialogue about or in TKJ that explicitly states anything more happening. So where does the question about things going to a more extreme length come in?

Well, from what I can understand, it comes from a misreading of the implications in the carnival scene when Jim Gordon is being shown the photos. It does not help that these photos were originally more graphic and intended to show explicit nudity rather than implicit thanks to the positioning on the page spread. This is obviously a form of torture. And I do admit that this torture most likely had the intention of making Jim wonder what else happened to his daughter (and also if she was still alive).

However... I don't think that's enough.

The implications of anything else happening begin and end in that scene. And that kind of feels like the point too. Joker is trying to make Jim go insane, so he's not really thinking about what'll happen after Jim gets free and has time and energy to think and see his daughter. There is never really any other implications brought up again. Most importantly Barbara never alludes to anything "else" happening.

So if there isn't much evidence to support this claim and the answer is just a flat "no" why does this question aggravate me?

Because even though the answer is no doesn't mean an assault did not happen. This line of questioning brings up the idea that Barbara's trauma is not real unless she was raped, which completely ignores the fact that she was still sexually assaulted. Rape is a very specific definition, that not a lot of sex crimes fit. However the fact that Barbara was forcibly disrobed and pornographic pictures were taken without her consent is absolutely a form of sexual assault.

I see a very similar line of questioning happen with Black Canary too and her own torture scene from the Long Bow Hunters. And it follows the exact same path of dismissing Dinah's trauma and the fact that no matter what there is very clear evidence of sexual assault.

And this rigid line of thinking absolutely follows survivors into the real world. No one survivor, real or fictional, wants their trauma to be discussed in the context of "did the worse possible thing happen or not?" because to them their assault was the worst thing that happened to them. Why must this very specific bar be reached for their trauma to be valid?

TLDR: No, but that doesn't erase the fact that she was still sexually assaulted and enforcing the idea that she must be raped to be sexually assaulted is not only a really bad take but also extremely harmful so stop doing it.

[graciereadshannigram]

Hello friend, I’m pinkhead on AO3, I saw your post and I would like to deeply apologize for my previous comments I’ve left! I’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable and even unsafe on your own page. You’re doing a great job writing this story and I got a little wrapped up in my emotions about it. Hannibal is a special interest of mine so my feelings about it tend to be very intense. I often joke with my friends and fellow strangers, both in person and online with what I perceive as comically severe threats to communicate either my strong feelings about something or to make and absurd joke, with the implication that it’s so extreme that obviously I would never actually do that. But clearly I missed the mark because like you said we don’t know each other! So my bad! I appreciate your grace and understanding in your post, truly I never intended any kind of harm or even the remotest suggestion of harassment, I thought it would come off as playful internet fandom humor. So again I’m so sorry about that and thank you for sharing this wonderful story with all of us.

-pinkhead 🩷🩷🩷

hey babes, thank you for reaching out 💜

we are all good, apology more than accepted!! i totally understand—i joke around with my friends like that too! it usually makes me laugh because that kind of humor can truly get so absurd, and i know, with 100% certainty, that it's all jokes and they'll respect any writing decisions i make in the future.

my main concern when it's coming from strangers is that if i make a writing choice or take the plot in a certain direction and people don't like it, that it'll escalate into actual genuine frustration and harassment. to be clear, i know your comment was NOT that.

so i just wanted to get ahead of it and set a more public boundary that i'd be deleting such comments, even if i'm like 99% sure they're supposed to be playful fandom humor :)

i think i've cultivated some of the best readers and i'm honored that, by and large, engaging with y'all is probably the best part about writing this fic! and i want to keep the engagement fun and motivating, so that's why i set the boundary.

fr, i'm so happy to have y'all along on this ride with me <3

[chamerionwrites]

i genuinely did not intend for my previous ask to come off as accusatory. i have ASD and have problems conveying and interpreting tone, so if it seemed like i was trying to paint you as something you’re not then i sincerely apologize. you are, however, correct in pointing out that there’s a lot frustration tied to the topic for me, as i’ve time and time again seen people use innocuous-sounding statements about the importance of not being judgmental wrt:kinks as a fig leaf for their habitual pushing of survivors’ boundaries on topics like rape and things like “consent play,” “raceplay,” “ageplay,” etc. as a survivor myself i find much of this stuff extremely triggering, and i’m tired of seeing people whose blogs are plastered with things like simulated SA and CSAM take advantage of others’ good faith when they say things like “don’t judge people for taboo kinks,” knowing that most will assume they mean stuff like vore or inflation or whatever. i’m trying to imply that you are one of those people, but i don’t think people realize how generally positive statements like “don’t judge others’ kinks” can be co-opted by those with harmful intentions.

So first I want to say that it's understandable for these subjects to be emotionally taxing (and yeah, triggering), and also that it's kind of a lot to deal with in the space of a Tumblr post. I'm going to try to be both careful and somewhat concise - and sometimes those things can be read as condescending and curt. I appreciate your clarification, I'm trying to answer sincerely, and it is not my intention to come across as either of those things.

Also, we live in the worst timeline where when people say "CSA" they can mean anything on the gamut from horrible crimes such as actual children being assaulted, to ~horrible crimes~ such as having sex ed books in the library or, you know, gay people existing in public. I'm going to assume that you are neither asking me about irl child abuse nor about some cute picture book where two ladies hold hands. My impression from everything you've said here and in the other ask is that your frustrations are centered around people having kinks or sexual fantasies that have something to do with pain/violence/consent/age/etc, and also artistic depictions of sexual violence and/or of underaged characters in sexual situations (again, I'm not certain how broadly you define this; I've seen people object vehemently to coming of age novels that include teenagers having sex, or to eroticized fan art of grown-up versions of young characters). If that general outline of your concerns is off-base somehow, I apologize for misunderstanding.

With those caveats out of the way, there are basically three points I want to touch on:

Point #1 is that all kinds of good/true/useful statements can be and often are co-opted by people with harmful ideas and/or intentions, and that this is not a reflection on the validity of the original statement. It's unsettlingly common for people to advance violently racist arguments about population control on the basis that climate change is happening. This doesn't mean that climate change isn't happening, or that anybody who says "climate change is happening" is responsible for every conceivable way that someone could twist that statement for their own ends. Russian war propaganda (and I am singling out Russia because it's a very current example, but arguments in this vein are a staple of war propaganda generally) says that because neo-nazis exist and are bad (true!), invading Ukraine is good (no). Obviously I'm sketching very quick and broad outlines here because neither of those topics is what we're actually discussing, but I think you can see the point I'm making. It's totally understandable to be frustrated when people twist good arguments for bad ends, but that's not a reason to reject those arguments out of hand.

Point #2 is that "triggering" is a morally neutral descriptor. A lot of people - for fairly obvious and sympathetic reasons - find this hard to swallow. But if you reflect on specific scenarios it comes into focus pretty quickly; someone who was badly bitten by a neighbor's pet may find dogs triggering, but this doesn't make you a bad person for posting pictures of your puppy. A lot of people are triggered by really mundane and innocuous things that - at least to a casual observer - have no clear connection to the trauma itself. Plenty of people are triggered by stuff that's not just innocuous but generally agreed upon to be nice: birthdays, a kiss on the forehead, the smell of a certain food cooking. That's just how trauma works. We put trigger warnings on things so that people can make informed decisions about whether to avoid them or to brace themselves, not to mark those things as inherently immoral and tainted.

What I'm driving at here is that people can have every valid reason for being upset by something without it automatically following that the thing which upset them shouldn't exist. It is 100% understandable for survivors (or anyone else for that matter) to be disturbed by a rape scene in a film/show/book/whatever. That doesn't mean that it's morally wrong to write a rape scene; art is a means of discussing the human experience, some people writing those scenes have experienced rape, and all of us live with rape culture and have thoughts and emotions and experiences pertaining to it. That also doesn't mean that tasteless or exploitative or just plain bad art does not exist, or cannot be criticized as such. It means these things have to be judged on a case by case basis - how art handles sensitive subjects, not just the fact that it chooses to explore them - and that sometimes people are going to disagree about those judgments. That in itself can be scary and upsetting to come to terms with, and I get it. It's comforting to have hard and fast rules. It is so much easier to just say "nobody should ever write a rape scene" and be done with it. But imo that would hurt at least as many people as it helped - and most likely far more. If anything is shaming and silencing and soul-crushing to trauma survivors, in my experience, it is the insistence that to speak openly about violence is itself a form of violence.

Crucially, none of that means that you can't have boundaries. Anyone who insists on pushing those boundaries is absolutely and unequivocally in the wrong. At the same time, it's important to recognize that a boundary is a fence that you place around yourself, not a cage that you can order everybody else to stay inside. You're well within your rights to (eg) not read or discuss Lolita, but you can't ban other people from reading Lolita or discussing it in a public space like Tumblr.

Finally, Point #3: you are far from alone in being (at best) grossed out by certain kinks. You are not wrong that people can be pressured and coerced into things that they don't really want to do (which is equally true of the most vanilla of vanilla sex; in fact, if I had to guess, I'd wager that far more people have been pressured into sex acts that are commonly viewed as '''normal,''' specifically because they're viewed as normal - and thus mandatory, or at least weird to quibble about). And you are also not wrong that we live in a society. Of course kink does not exist in a vacuum. In the aforementioned rape culture, for example, it would be genuinely astonishing if a lot of people DIDN'T ever get their wires crossed between fear-arousal and sex-arousal and then fantasize about coercive or violent scenarios. To use a less loaded example, I think if you took a poll you could probably find a good number of people who at a formative age watched some film or other in which a sweaty handsome action hero got tied to a chair, and found that it Awakened Something in them. For that matter I don't even think something as simple as the number of people who get completely undone about boobs (as opposed to some other body part or erogenous zone) is entirely uninfluenced by the way women's bodies - and sexuality in general - are represented in pop culture.

And with all that said...human brains are individualized and complex and frequently pretty strange. Of course kink is influenced by the society we live in...but how exactly that influence plays out, how logical or 1:1 it is, is also individualized and complex and often strange. The primal monkeybrain is sometimes MUCH better at distinguishing different intensities of sensation/emotion than distinguishing different types of sensation/emotion (people cry when they're sad but also when they're furious, or frightened, or delighted, or deeply moved - or sometimes after really good sex, for that matter). Libido often operates very much in the realm of metaphor. Plenty of people do not literally want to fuck monsters, but are really into the rush of danger or the recognition of self in the other or just the idea of desire existing outside the limits of what is '''supposed''' to be desirable. Plenty of people do not literally want to be eaten, but really like the idea of being consumed.

All of which is to say that the reason people are reluctant to be judgmental about kink isn't that it's some magical zone where the rules of critical thinking don't apply. It's that you can't critically evaluate something when you're missing a ton of context, if you haven't been invited into somebody's bedroom you often are missing a ton of context on the whys and hows of what they're into, and there's no way you can demand someone explain all the fine details of their sex life to you without being the bad guy (that's, y'know, sexual harassment). I think it'd be pretty naive to say that nobody has ever kinked on something for cruel or dehumanizing reasons. I also think that cruelty and dehumanization are bad independent of how they're expressed. Abuse is wrong whether the perpetrator is as vanilla as a bottle of extract or the kinkiest person on the planet.

Does that make sense? What I'm saying is that all the potential ins and out of individual human sexuality between enthusiastically consenting adults are way above my pay grade, and what matters is that someone treats their partners (and also people they aren't sleeping with) respectfully and kindly. I don't think there's a world where somebody is into something specifically as a tool to mistreat people that doesn't lead to anyone being mistreated. And I think that sort of thing - actions, end results - is what's most feasible to judge if you don't want to be in the business of prosecuting thoughtcrimes.

Which I recognize is probably not the answer you were after, and like I said I think it's fully understandable to wish for a much more clean-cut and comforting answer when grappling with pretty fraught subjects. But I do think that even if you disagree with EVERYTHING else that I've said here, the basic stance that you're asking me about remains true: normal ≠ moral. Weirdness ≠ violence. Even in your ask above, you've drawn a distinction between non-normative behavior that you see as basically harmless and non-normative behavior that you see as harmful. Which says that we're in agreement that the fundamental question is whether someone's behavior is harmful, not whether someone's behavior is transgressive of social norms.