#and obviously moral of the story is leave comments. any comments

[chexie]

interdimensional gateway fic update for 3rd anniversary

haha kidding

it takes forever to write fics so I applaud you for still managing to keep up with it, especially multi-chapter fics. and especially especially ones that are over like 5 chapters.

I would've forgotten about it and then just hoped the readers weren't that into it so i could abandon the thing

(have done that in the past but then again they never got many likes 2 begin with haha)

anyways wish u luck on it, dont worry about meeting deadlines n shit

Oh honestly at some point this past spring I had this silly pipe dream that I’d have Gateway’s epilogue up in time for it’s third birthday lmao it’s even pipe-dreamier now, but hey, who knows (I knows, I absolutely probably won’t finish it by then but yknow it’d be nice)

But at the same time the fact that this ask is like. Even here at all is so so wild to me because this is the first time I’ve had people engage with my content so positively and consistently, and I feel like that’s been one of my reasons that work on it’s been so ‘consistent’

(That and the Darkside communities size. Back then we only had 7 fics to pick from so it was my civil service to the community, obvs)

At the end of the day, while the stunted progress in 2022 was just another cost of a mentally taxing year, 2023 has just been me wrangling my brain to focus on anything for more than two weeks and clinically failing, and the lack of engagement chapter 9 got around its release ended up burying DD in my head

I’m not,,, entirely certain what my point was in all of this? But. Thank you. Maybe chapter 10 will drop by year’s end. Wouldn’t that be rad?

[biblicalhorror]

Reading a court of thorns and roses bc it's been rec'd to me many times (by the same two friends mostly) and also I've never really read a smut novel before and Jesus christ this protagonist is insufferable

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 𝟎𝟏 | 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲

Pairing | Yandere Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 3, 335

Warnings | +18, yandere, obsession, Stockholm syndrome, fluff, smut, fingering, penetrative sex, public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, marriage proposal, this is not for minors

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | With their lives now intertwined, Jungkook was ready for the next step.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! This is the first Extra from Happy Ending, I hope you can enjoy it ❤

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @douknowbts, @aiiselle90210, @fewercascade , @mageprincess7, @m00njinnie, @get-that-brain-working, @whipwhoops

➢ Main Story

➢ Spin - Off | Dark Moon || PJM

Things with Jungkook were going swimmingly; every morning before going to work, the man would wake her up with a gentle kiss on her forehead, murmuring softly that he would be gone for a while but would be back as soon as possible to be with her. Y/N would always squint an eye to peek at the boy's attire already ready to go out, then smile lazily at her boyfriend's perfection. Sometimes she missed college, but only because from her desk she had a spectacular view of Jungkook explaining or drawing on the blackboard, what she obviously did not miss was the sassy looks from the other girls, or the nastiness Yoozu gave her every morning. But those were distant memories, almost vanished from her mind now addicted to the man who, for good measure, had kidnapped her from her old and dangerous apartment, drastically changing her life forever. That morning, too, was no different from any other, Jungkook greeted her with his good morning kiss, leaving a soft trail of masculine scent in the room, the kind of smell that drove Y/N crazy with desire whenever she had him near her, the girl got up to do the things she usually did as soon as she woke up, made herself pretty in the bathroom for the man and tidied up the house a bit before his return, sometimes Jungkook would be gone even evenings, long evenings that made her heart ache.

She still did not know what exactly Jungkook did at night, he had explained to her that Seokjin, the school principal, had important tasks to assign to him, tasks that could only be done at night. Y/N was not stupid, inside, the doubt that the boy was lying to her simmered in her stomach, but with a smile she accepted the boy's apology, the most important thing was that he would never abandon her. She was baking a cake that day and her hands were smeared with dough when a message notification came to her. Jungkook had given her a phone for her birthday, it was a special phone since the only contact number was Jungkook's, she could still surf the internet freely, but with some prohibitions. She could not talk to anyone on social media or establish friendships in the forums she used to read, but this was not a problem for her, she only had Jungkook on her mind, he was her partner, her best friend, she did not need anything else. So she was not surprised when, wiping her hands to retrieve the object, she found her boyfriend's name on the display. She smiled tenderly at the avalanche of hearts that overwhelmed the actual content of the message; the boy never failed to let her know how infinitely he loved her.

♥ Husband ♥ Dress nice and elegant, I'll take you to a nice place today, my love. I can't wait to see you, I ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ •3•

Y/N chuckled covering her lips, Jungkook had even emphasized that "I love you" with a totally different font, accompanied by an absolutely ridiculous as well as adorable little face, she imagined Jungkook's lips pouting really like that and laughed again. In an instant she replied that she would not keep him waiting, glanced at the dough, deciding to put it in the refrigerator to finish that evening the preparation even if with some regret, since the man had granted her free use of the kitchen she had waited for nothing else, beginning to cook new recipes again and again to fill a part of her free time, something that as a college student she could only dream of. She ran to the bedroom opening the closet she shared with the man, all their things were carefully put in order, although they were not yet married in truth it was as if they were, in more ways than one. She bit her lip taking two dresses, one was calf-length, red with darker shades on the edge of the puffy sleeves, the other was short to mid-thigh, totally black. Jungkook loved black, but Y/N knew that red gave him a strange effect when she wore it. She had said she had to look elegant and pretty for him, with a sly smile she put the little black dress back in the closet to give her priority to the red one, whose heart-shaped neckline stopped just in time above her breasts.

Yes, the boy was going to lose his mind.

She opted for low, dark heels with a strap around the ankle, she wanted to slender up given her paltry stature, but not even suffer all evening, god! When she got to makeup she decided to prioritize her lips, without overdoing her eyes, she had never been a fan of make-up, it was bad enough if she did a minimum of skincare so as not to look like a freak, although Jungkook repeated to her how absolutely beautiful and adorable she looked even with a pimple on her chin, which made her feel embarrassed and a bit teased, although she didn't think that was the guy's goal, after all he really meant every single thing he said. By the time she finished arranging her hair into soft, smooth, shiny locks, the clock read 6:45 p.m., by now Jungkook must have been on his way home and she felt a moment lost, he would have liked the way she looked, right? Not even time to worry any further, that the front door opened, Y/N heard her boyfriend's greeting and with butterflies in her stomach she walked slowly up to him to give herself a more elegant look, although she must surely have read the torment on her face about her appearance.

Jungkook when he saw her widened his large dark eyes, suddenly turning them into two shiny marbles. He drank in the small figure of his girlfriend who looked somehow more mature. Not that she didn't usually look it, but dressed like that, with her swollen breasts barely hidden behind the thin scarlet fabric and her legs slender from those heels, the man's brain definitely went to shit. Not to mention those lips he loved to kiss countless times, dyed a shade of red darker than the dress, begging him to lose control and possess them. He swallowed hard, "I told you to make yourself pretty for me, not kill me," he whispered almost dreamily, the iron grip in the girl's stomach loosened, and a sly smile soon painted itself on his features. She approached her fiancé one step at a time, stroking the man's strong, well-trained chest with longing; he was not dressed like that that morning. She remembered that he had come out in simple jeans and a T-shirt, that black shirt studded with crystals of the same color with those dark, soft pants were new. "Where did you get these?" she asked with a mock pout, "Don't tell me you showed up in class like this." Jungkook blinked slowly, still speechless.

"N-No, I bought everything later, I had forgotten the change," he explained, not taking his gaze off his fiancée's florid body, she brought her hand down to his toned and well-defined abdomen, feeling the stiffening of his body. "Mm-mh," she hummed, "Jungkook, are you hard?" she asked innocently, clutching the bulge in his pants, feeling under her palm the rigid, pulsating length, she bit her lips harder as a rough, hot moan left her boyfriend's throat, who immediately squeezed her. He stretched out his neck to kiss her roughly, but Y/N was quicker and put a hand in front of his mouth, Jungkook's offended expression made her laugh. "Stop it, Jeon! You'll ruin my lipstick like that!" she scolded him as she moved away to retrieve her purse, Jungkook stared shamelessly at her butt, gritting his teeth. "You're a witch" he grumbled, Y/N gave him an amused look, "A lustful and beautiful witch" he continued, shaking his head.

They arrived half an hour later at the place the boy chose, it was a very nice outdoor restaurant, different from the usual one he chose, and Y/N looked around excitedly. She didn't often see such places, Jungkook was almost always too busy to take her around, and she primarily didn't go out alone except to shop for groceries or buy things of interest to her. Jungkook gently pulled her chair aside and with one hand resting on her back accompanied her to her seat, casting harsh glances at any male being who squared his woman too much, even the waiter had no chance. "What would you like to order?" he asked politely, but casting an unflattering glance at Y/N's cleavage, Jungkook squinted, grim. "I would appreciate it if you would look my fiancée in the eyes when you address her," he blurted out in fact, startling the other man, who had not expected such a biting reply. Y/N smiled from behind her goblet of white wine, watching her fiancé glower at the boy who was apologizing to both of them in the meantime; she couldn't take her eyes off him, he was gorgeous. The soft profile kissed her vision like manna from heaven, what she had done to deserve such a gift she could not yet comprehend even she could not understand. "Did you choose?"

Jungkook asked her that question with sugar in his voice, as if he had not just finished a resounding rant in front of everyone. The rest of the evening passed more quietly, behind them the view of the sea shrouded in night made the icy saltiness inhale into the air, the restaurant was now framed by small lights that ran through the entire structure, as well as the tables that lit them up, it was just a nice night to spend together. "I'm happy to be here, with you," the man pointed out, brushing the girl's hand affectionately, Y/N returned the squeeze shyly. "Although... at first it was not like that, now it is the same for me too, I am happy to be here with you, Jungkook" Jungkook's face became serious in a moment. "That's exactly why I brought you here," he took a breath, "We've been so good the past few months, it felt like a wonderful dream, Y/N." Y/N frowned, "What do you mean?" Jungkook got up from his seat, inviting her to do the same with a wave of his hand, Y/N wordlessly followed him and they found themselves leaving the restaurant and going down to the beach, they took off their shoes, letting the fine sand make contact with their feet, Jungkook guided her further and further to the shore, until on contact with the water they shivered. "Dance with me," he whispered, encircling her waist against his body.

At first, Y/N would have refused, partly out of shame and partly out of fear of the man who now held her as if he had the most precious thing in the world in his hands. In that instant she accepted the boy's invitation, letting her arms wrap around his neck strong and secure, moving slowly inches from their lips, the woman was forced to stand on tiptoe to try to reach him. "What did you want to say, Jungkook?" The boy stared at her lips, before raising his eyes to hers, the atmosphere was intimate and close, she could feel his warm breath gently caressing her face. "I need to feel you more mine," he said. "I'm already yours," chuckled the girl, but Jungkook shook his head. "No, more..." he sighed closer and closer, "Be my wife, Y/N and make me a complete man" he dissolved his emotion-filled desire into a breathtaking kiss, pressed his moist lips to those of the young woman, who opened her eyes wide in bewilderment. For a moment she was unable to respond; behaving as husband and wife was one thing, becoming one effectively was another. It was ... much more serious, important, Y/N blinked a few times before finally letting go of the man's desperate touch, molding her soft lips and giving in to that sick passion, trilling with joy inside.

Jungkook slid her through the sand, heedless of the grains that stuck to their skin or on their clothes; he had been waiting for that moment for months, but he finally made up his mind to confess those words he had been holding in too long. "Is that a yes?" he asked hopefully, pulling away from her slightly, Y/N nodded with an excited smile. She was looking forward to nothing more than officially being Mrs. Jeon, that boy had given her so much love, how could she not want him as her husband? "I want to be your wife, Jungkook," she sighed shakily, "I was wondering when you would decide to ask me," she laughed breathlessly, leaving Jungkook to admire her impressed. "Oh, my love..." the next kiss was immediately more erotic and physical than the previous one, the man lightly biting her scarlet lips before penetrating that warm and sweet cavern with his tongue, softly intertwining with the girl's, who entwined her own fingers in her boyfriend's wavy and gorgeous locks.

The man settled between the girl's legs, the skirt of her dress had long since curled around her hips, and it was not difficult for him to gently push his own bulge against the young woman's barely concealed intimacy. "Say once more that you're mine," he sighed into her neck, kissing her soft skin carefully; it was something he asked for every time before making love, Y/N never flinched, knowing that those words would only make his cock get even harder. "Yours...I'm only yours, love," she breathed raggedly with her panties trailing down her shapely thighs under the force of the man's eager hands, Jungkook moved on to gently torture with his teeth the hidden tips of her breasts barely covered by her dress, "I just want to be with you, I want...I just want your hands on me, oh!"

Jungkook's index finger slowly teased the swollen and sensitive pearl of her core after finding it with ease, by now he knew the woman's body as well as he knew his own and he felt his cock enlarge and throb at the sound of Y/N's hoarse moans, he tightened his lips around a turgid nipple poking out from under the fabric of her scarlet dress, something about the idea of fuck her on that beach fully clothed drove him crazy. "And only my hands on you will you have, Y/N," he hissed with a dark note in his voice, something the woman couldn't quite interpret, too caught up in her man's fingers slipping shamelessly along her soft, tender folds, violating her entrance with a firm, deep lunge between her soft walls. "Jungkook! Jungkook..." she repeated his name like a mantra, the tears in her eyes not allowing her to see the proud, focused expression on the man's face as he continued to move his fingers inside her while using his thumb to make tighter and tighter circles around her stiff, scarlet clit, now close to a fierce orgasm, "N-Not resisting..." she cried, shaking her head several times, trying to warn him. Y/N's thighs tensed around the boy's pelvis, trembling intensely at the sweet and painful waves of pleasure and yearning she was experiencing there, under those intimate and forbidden caresses that anyone could have seen if only they had left the restaurant at that moment.

Jungkook's dark irises shone with possession, Y/N's lost and devastated expression discombobulating him in such a way that he could not hold back a growl from deep in his chest. He lowered himself just enough to delve into her slit with the tip of his delicate tongue, finding her incredibly delicious and ready for him, "I'm going to get you here, Y/N," he hummed gently kissing her sensitive clit, "The only thing you'll have to do is just be a little quiet, it's not exactly isolated here," he chuckled with a bit of nastiness, remembering how much the girl liked to scream instead when he impaled her with the full length of his cock. Y/N nodded without really understanding his words, too busy recovering from the previous peak of pleasure she had reached, not yet ready for his big cock that penetrated her narrow slit firmly, going to such a depth that Y/N felt it coming into her belly, with a choked groan she welcomed him into her trembling limbs, eyes widening, Jungkook thought she was wonderful. He slid into her intimacy with his pants still on, only his cock had been pulled out just enough to catch her on the soft sand, in everyone's eyes they would have looked like a couple making out, unaware of the real pleasure invading their insides with each raw, searing lunge between the sensitive, moist walls.

Y/N felt his essence becoming more and more copious, helping Jungkook slide into her with greater speed, she rocked her pelvis against his so as not to miss the new violent wave that was about to sweep over her body, Jungkook kissed her violently trying to contain her sloppy, needy cries, his increasingly heavy balls slapped the girl's skin hard, "You're so perfect, sweet little thing," he gasped on her, his cock swelling every time he entered that perfect slit for him, vibrating with sharp, forbidden sensations that jolted both their bodies. "I think I ... I ...!" the woman did not have time to finish her sentence, tensing in her man's arms as her pleasure exploded in her stomach, where Jungkook reached her, cumming copiously in her between tight, desperate movements of his hips. "Fuck..." he blew on her lips, basking in the last flushes of pleasure, joining their mouths in a slow, languid kiss. The girl whimpered slightly when the boy left her intimacy empty and the thick, white semen immediately leaked out dripping between her soft buttocks, Jungkook closed his eyes trying to control himself, his cock had a quiver that he did not want to listen to. They could not stay there any longer, someone would really see them otherwise.

He helped her adjust her panties and the skirt of her dress, accompanying each gesture with a kiss on her trembling skin, squeezing her immediately when she was in danger of collapsing on her own still weak legs. He guided her toward the path made especially for visitors, their entwined hands not loosening even when they reached the car, too busy smiling, some from embarrassment and some from excitement, or both. "Oh! What's this?" asked Jungkook in mock surprise, pointing to the girl's ring finger, where a marvelous precious solitaire, a symbol of eternal and unique love, was on display. "Jungkook!" she exclaimed wordlessly, looking at her hand shocked, the diamond caught the reflected light of the moon, it was absolutely stunning, "When...?" she tried to ask him when he put it on her, but she was out of breath. The proposal was already something special, but such a ring simply made her fiancé's intentions more truthful, he really wanted to lead her down the aisle.

Without realizing it she burst into tears, seeking comfort in his arms almost automatically, Jungkook smiled sweetly returning the squeeze, inhaled the scent of her hair now mixed with the saltiness of the sea, and basked contentedly in the idea that soon she would not be able to escape from him, even if she found out about his double life in Seokjin's service. "What's important is that the ring is there, where it belongs, Y/N," he whispered on her forehead, causing her to lift her face to look at him, "Soon we'll have a family together, baby...and we'll be truly happy," he hummed with a lip-smacking kiss, Y/N nodded meekly with half-closed eyes, captivated by the words and the presence of the young man who was increasingly adept at making her fall into his inviting trap.

[batrogers]

WRT the most recent LU Update, I think I feel like this is kinda confirming what I hoped was going on in the last update but wasn't sure of until this one came out: Time is currently very stressed.

Back when Sky confirmed the portal was still active upon pursuing the Postman, Time responds to that confirmation with a very grim expression and words: "Remove any thoughts of concluding this journey. This is far from over."

From there, the entire next sequence up to their letters is rehashing the battle and, in many cases, blaming himself for stepping aside when facing an enemy he understands (styled after his, specific, Iron Knuckles) in favour of protecting Twilight. Despite Warriors reassuring him that his priorities, to protect over fight, were correct and ones he supports, Time is shifting from play and teasing into taking command of everyone in a very literal sense: he's focused on weapons, abilities, and preparations. He's obviously the person they're following the orders of, and he acts like it.

I don't remember the comic ever being this explicit about Time calling the shots before. Whether this is because Jojo started in media res, or because this is an actual change we may not know for sure, but the grim tone in Time's behaviour may be part of his reaction to Twilight when he asks him about the letter. I already did an extended analysis of that here, in which I point out that all the hints we get could be interpreted as PTSD, and frankly I think the newest update supports that.

The closest Time has come to smiling in the past few updates was when he was admiring Wild's new sword -- a practical question ("I need everyone to be properly armed. Is this resolved?" -- a commander's question, not a father or friend's, there!) and a compliment that would boost morale to be visibly approving of.

In the newest update, clearly a ways into the woods and away from the inn, Time is still as focused as Sky on their task. Literally everyone else is relaxed and playful, teasing each other as they reminisce, but Time (who, in previous portions of the story has played along with such things!) directly responds to Wild approaching him by telling him "Leave me out of--"

Explicitly, he's not in the mood to play. He doesn't actively stop him, but it's also obvious from his later statement ("What sort of conversation is taking place back there?") he's absolutely distracted by something else in his head. It's not because he can't hear them -- he responds to Warriors comment about his Zelda on the next page, so he's obviously in hearing range. He just wasn't listening.

Why? We don't know. I don't really buy the pregnancy thing, because while Time says the ranch is fine, again, he has not smiled since. I'm not sure the letter had anything to do with it; he's been grim since before then.

But clearly something's on the old man's mind.

[clavissionary-position]

What Emma Would Do

Ignore me. This is just me working through my own thoughts and feelings on this. Also I'm an idiot.

***BIG EDIT: I misread and misinterpreted. Azel was nearly drugged and SA'd, so his reaction, however cruel, makes complete sense to me. If he was real I couldn't apologize to him enough.

Moving @/caffedrine's billion-dollar comments up here.

My original, misguided post is below the cut if you're interested.

I have to ask myself what Emma would do. Within reason. And only within the scope of this fictional game, because I'm not about to touch this topic as it exists in the real world. That's for people much smarter than me.

But for the game, my dismissing of Azel as a cruel misogynist without seeing his circumstances and worldview shuts down the conversation the same way it does when Azel dismisses a woman as a slut without seeing her circumstances and worldview.

(Did he actually use the word 'slut' or did google just translate 痴女 like that for me... I should double-check... edit: oh my bad, he calls her a "female molester", which... I can't say he's wrong considering she tried to give him an aphrodisiac...? The word also means "stupid woman", so he could very well have meant it that way too, especially for some reasons I get into later in the post.)

Soooo, he didn't actually call her a slut. I'm an idiot 😌 I'm sorry, Azel. Dunno if any of my points below mean anything, but I'll leave it here anyway:

The running theme in Ikepri is to look beyond the beast and see the human inside. To meet them halfway. To see their heart. And that heart is always so very terribly scarred. All these guys have gone through their own traumas and come out the other end behaving in ways designed to be armor, to protect themselves from any further pain.

I can only speculate about Azel this early in his story arc, but being showered with the same adoration and reverence that people only show a god, day in and day out, probably fucks with your mentality a bit if you are still only human at the end of the day. Having women try to seduce you only because you're The Living God, well, we saw what that kind of shallow treatment did to Silvio. Women see you as an object and so women become objects to you. You want to be loved, but you don't want to be hurt.

That might only be scratching the surface with Azel, though. He's also clearly jaded from listening to the same old interpersonal problems people have when in relationships. Love is actual trash to him, not even worth a single penny. It's trash because the very people who follow him prove it to him on a daily basis, I imagine.

Yet that's still not the full picture. I mean, we obviously won't have the full picture until his main route drops, but there's another key factor to consider with Azel.

He quotes Pascal in Licht's sequel. "Man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed." The full quote goes onto say:

"All our dignity consists, then, in thought. This is the basis on which we must raise ourselves, and not space and time, which we would not know how to fill. Let us make it our task, then, to think well: here is the principle of morality.”

(Did I read the entire context of the quote? HA! What do you take me for? A scholar or something?)

Free will and independent thought is arguably the most important thing to Azel. He has no respect for the sheep who flock to him for direction (though he'll happily take their money and tributes). Even with the dancer who tried to seduce him in the prologue, when he tells her to lick up the food she dropped after he tripped her, he presents it as a choice. Nevermind that the staggeringly unequal power dynamics at play made it so this was nothing short of coercion in the end; there was no way the dancer was in a position to stand up for herself and say no, even if that's exactly what Azel wanted. But from his perspective, defiance would have been welcome. That's why he phrased it as a choice. That she started licking up the food only solidified in Azel's mind that this woman is an unthinking reed without dignity. If you're going to act like trash, he'll treat you like trash... maybe that was part of his thinking.

On a slightly different note, I think another reason he hates the idea of love so much is because love makes people lose their ability to reason, to think. I believe he outright says as much, iirc.

In the end, I don't know from where exactly Azel's fury and cruelty comes from. It could be all of these things, it might be something else entirely. All I can think is, you can't be 'God' everyday and not be scarred by humans.

In conclusion, I can't excuse Azel's behavior. I don't excuse it. But I think Emma would try to understand the why of it, like she does in any other route. The other running theme in Ikepri is that, as a certain someone would put it, the essence of all people is love. It's their environment that twists them. Somewhere in Azel is the purest kind of love. A kind that would make any god look away in shame. That's what I want to believe in, anyhow.

Also, I need stress that I was SO wrong about whether he actually called the dancer a slut or not. Google fucked me over by translating it that way! Ah, Azel, I'm so sorry!

[eyeballsoup7310]

I find it very interesting that people despise Vanessa for threatening Mike but I’ve not even seen a single person mention that Mike beat a man to filth in a mall fountain in front of the guys son.

Not to say mikes an inherently bad person for that, he has trauma and he reacted to something that triggered it— it’s just kind of telling that the entire fandom not only immediately forgave, but also never actually considered criticizing him for violently attacking a man in the first place, but a lot of people refuse to even imagine liking a woman because she was kind of mean to their favorite sad little blorbo due to her own trauma flaring up.

Edit cuz I thought about it again: obviously the dynamic is a little different in each situation. While both Vanessa and Mike were employed in positions of physical power at the time of their fuckups, Vanessa was specifically using her job as a threat whereas Mike didn’t even think about using his power as a guard. They both did something extremely shitty and rash, but if Vanessa weren’t an officer I don’t think people would care as much. Mike did something more comparable to, like, “getting into a drunken fistfight at dennys.”

On the flip side, threatening a man who’s Going Through It is super shitty and I don’t wanna dismiss that, but Mike still physically assaulted a man, and it’s weird to me that the fandom seems to have just forgotten. They’re fictional characters so I think trying to hold them to the exact same standards as real people is a bit weird to me (they’re meant to convey a story, not be a paragon of morality, unless of course the story they’re conveying is about morality but I’ll leave that conversation to people who have more than two braincells) but if we’re gonna criticize Vanessa I feel like we should also criticize Mike a little too

(I will still say, I don’t think Vanessa ever had any intent of trying to even legally challenge him ((i.e. arrest him or charge him or something)) and if she actually wanted to scare Mike she could’ve threatened to take Abby away, something that she previously refused to do in the “dumping shit in the river” scene. Also a stupid move, please don’t throw pills in the river, but it was the year 2000 and she was raised by William Goddamn Afton it makes sense she’s a bit of a dumbass sometimes)

Ultimately I don’t hold it against anyone if they dislike Vanessa because of this scene (or if they dislike Vanessa, especially for being a cop, in general), I guess I’m more so hung up about the fact that if she were a man, less people would hate her. Criticism of her as an officer is fine, we should be shitting on cops, some of it just feels like an excuse to be borderline misogynistic. I dunno, i tend to focus on stupid details. fnaf is a really weird series and an even weirder fandom. can everyone stop writing cops as protagonists please

Edit 2: actually thinking about it more and I just feel. Gross. Defending a character who’s a cop. It’s almost worse that it’s not even relevant to the story, for all the importance it has, she could easily be a janitor with a knife or something and absolutely nothing would change. Eugh. Curse of being written by scott cawthon, I guess. Anyways. Sorry. I think the part of my brain saw a pathetic wet cat of a character who’s a woman this time and went stupid mode

(If anyone has any recommendations for characters with a similar vibe to Vanessa that ARENT part of an extremely shitty job please uh. Comment them)

[thyandrawrites]

You know, in the hug between Dabi and Shoto, although I know Dabi was teasing Shoto about burning him alive, etc. But after watching the newest episode and looking back on that scene, would Shoto be in pain if Dabi was hurting him in that moment? Or was he implying he was going to hurt him? I know Shoto has a high pain tolerance, but killing Shoto was never Dabi’s priority and you can see in future chapter he’s willing to tell his story. Sorry, this comment doesn’t really make sense, but what did you think of the hug scene I guess?

you're not going to like my answer, anon.

Now, preface: I don't think Dabi is a callous person or a ruthless monster, and I don't think he's too far gone and insane. Please don't take what follows as an attempt to demonize him because it's really not. But I think it's important to discuss the wrongs in his actions instead of brushing them off as something he didn't mean.

I don't think Dabi was just teasing him about burning him alive. He actually hurt Shouto significantly enough; in the aftermath of the war we see him with his head and throat covered in bandages, and he can’t speak properly because of his injuries. Shouto does have more resistance to fire than his brother, but Dabi’s fire is much hotter than his, and even a fairly short exposure to it didn’t leave him unharmed. I believe Dabi would've gone with a killing blow if Enji hadn’t passed out after hitting Machia; or in the most recent arc, if his body had held up long enough to propel him to Enji afterward. to quote what I said to a friend in dms: 

Right now Dabi is using murder as a way to “leave a mark on this world”

that is, he’s killing to fill the emptiness in his life, to give himself a purpose for why he’s still alive even after outliving his usefulness. Just like how Hawks justifies killing Twice over and over to give himself a purpose as a hero who protects the country, even after Dabi burned his wings and pushed him past his physical prime (which was instrumental to doing his job as a hero). 

But murdering Shouto obviously cannot give Dabi the recognition he aims for, in much the same way murdering Jin didn’t give Hawks the the public acclaim he hoped for: 

simply because those things aren’t solutions; they’re just fucked up mentalities and moralities born out of trauma that each of them adopts to deal with the hand they were dealt in life. So imho brushing off that Dabi actually wanted Shouto dead makes us ignore a significant portion of his issue that needs addressing in the story. His grudge was never with Shouto, and it is entirely fucked up to take it out on his little brother, especially since Dabi knows Shouto is as much of a victim as he is. Again, just like how it’s fucked up of Hawks to take out his daddy issues on Jin for refusing a hero’s help, just because he sees his parents' “brokenness” reflected in that mentality that is stubbornly against “doing the right thing”.

At the same time, though, I want to point out that Dabi only “wants Shouto dead” on the condition that Enji is there to see it. If his grudge had been against the kid per se, he could’ve targeted him at any point in time. Particularly during the attack at summer camp. But Shouto barely enters his radar, and any harm he wants to cause to him is always instrumental to breaking his father’s spirit, to devastating Endvr by taking the source of his pride and crushing it. 

So I do think that if Dabi had found a better way to get back at his dad, he would’ve left Shouto alone. But it’s important to acknowledge the ‘if’. So far, Dabi didn’t make the conscious choice to spare his brother, much less out of any regard for Shouto’s personhood. If anything, I’d say that he has yet to acknowledge that Shouto is a person in his own right. So far, he’s still thinking of him as an addendum of his revenge, an extension of his grudge against Enji, and a puppet completely under his father’s thumb. And that’s precisely why he’s able to detach himself from the idea of killing his brother, blood of his blood, victim of the same shitty parenting.  

[jarlsthegreat]

I Don't Care for Xavier Thorpe

I put off watching the Wednesday show for a while, long enough that I had already had the entire thing spoiled for me when I actually sat down to watch it. This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me, I watch content knowing what is going to happen all the time and it never dampens my enjoyment of the thing. However, I feel that in this instance that I may have come to hate Xavier so much as a character because I went in knowing he wasn't the Hyde.

Watching through the season it struck me that unlike other characters like Tyler, Bianca or Miss Thornhill, knowing how Xavier ended the series kind of left me with nothing to enjoy about him. All of those other characters can still be enjoyed as characters on rewatch of the show, but Xavier is kind of empty. We don't really know much about him in episode 6 that we didn't know in episode 1. The only things of note that I can think of are his prophetic dreams, his strained relationship with his father and his history with Tyler. But, all of these things that we learn are so surface level, his dreams are on the same level as his power to bring his drawings to life since it doesn't really feed into anything else about his character, we only have a few offhand comments about his father and we don't even get to hear him explain what happened with Tyler, it's just vaguely exposited by Wednesday later with no emotion or detail. It just seems like every chance they had to make me latch onto Xavier as a character was cut off at the knees. And with the way he acted throughout the season he really needed a moment like the one with Bianca and her mother or her reaching out to Lucas. If Xavier had a scene where he got to fully express the hurt his father caused him or if he actually got to tell the story of being attacked on Outreach Day onscreen, I wouldn't be writing this post.

Moving on, the way Xavier acted throughout this season just rubbed me the wrong way. I can enjoy mean characters, I can enjoy fantastically evil characters, I can enjoy tragic characters that make all the wrong choices, but I cannot STAND characters that I am supposed to view as morally upstanding being mundanely horrible and never being challenged on it. 

Xavier has a few good scenes throughout the season, namely his introduction scene when he's talking to Wednesday, him explaining physic powers and the scene where he attempts to help Wednesday in the fight against Crackstone episode 8 (despite him failing horribly). But the majority of the rest of his scenes just make me angry. It started out in episode 1 when he came up to Wednesday during the carnival. During this scene he makes it clear that he knows Wednesday wants him to leave but he doesn't. 

The times when Xavier warned Wednesday to stay away from Tyler before he revealed his history with him annoyed me personally because I have been in his situation, and I just couldn't stop thinking "Just tell her" Every time he just repeats that Tyler's trouble without elaborating. If you know someone is trouble and you have already told the person to stay away from them, you have to either accept that it's their life or tell them the reason why. Granted, Xavier does eventually give Wednesday an actual reason to stay away from Tyler, but it doesn't make the previous scenes of him being unjustifiably pissy at Wednesday any less aggravating.

His treatment of Bianca is a whole other can of worms, the fact that he previously berated her for using her powers to manipulate him before having the audacity to ask her to make him forget Wednesday. He has to know on some level how Bianca feels about her siren song so these two actions are just so insensitive towards her. And Bianca is a character that I actually like a lot so this knocks a ton of points off of Xavier in my book.

Then there's the scene where Xavier tells Wednesday that he has believed her from the beginning. This scene has already been picked apart, so I'll be brief. It is so obviously gaslighting that I legitimately thought "this line feels like it should be coming from Tyler as a manipulation tactic when Wednesday wises up to him" like I could actually see Tyler using that exact line on Wednesday when she had him tied up. Moving on.

The final scene that makes me hate this man so much is the scene where Wednesday visits him in prison. I've seen people calling this a great scene because Xavier finally calls Wednesday out on her selfishness. I wish I could see the scene that way, but the fact that Xavier seems more concerned that Wednesday kissed another guy than the fact that there is currently an active serial killer on the loose just angered me to no end. I know this character is a teenager and he is supposed to be immature, but there is a fine line and there is such a profound level of childishness and selfishness in the fact that Xavier does not give even a passing thought that he is actively endangering everyone in his school and the town because of his own bruised ego. And it is never called out, just like all of his other questionable actions. If he even tried to give Wednesday any help in this scene, been the bigger man in any way, or had to apologize for his behavior in a later scene, I possibly could have put aside his previous actions, but after that I don't know if I could ever like this character.

I don't think anyone is a bad person for liking Xavier, I'm sure a lot of you could write an essay just like this one on why you love his character, he just isn't for me. I like Tyler and he isn't for some people. Just act respectful towards fans that disagree with you. They're just opinions on characters at the end of the day.

TLDR: Xavier acts very selfishly throughout this season and the show acts like he has nothing to atone for and he isn't developed much as a character so I cannot latch onto any aspect of him.

[lepertamar]

Stalking & The Glory of God 2019 vs Revised 2023 comparison

Since it's a short story this is also gonna be just one post! The few changes are still cool enough to have warranted a good bit of rotating in the brain from me though.

to be clear, stalking was published before Birds or Lives, it's mostly only a prequel or comment on Stars and there's no need to wait until after the full series to read it LOL. it's also free and right here.

I've chatted a bit with people who have read the earliest ever version which was actually all the way back from 2016 (this version i have not read since i only discovered this series in late 2021) and learned some things about eg, tamar's characterization, which is so much more boring/bland here than in stars, because it was apparently written before stars. so that aspect is accidental but somehow fits the narrative of stars really well. the 'i didn't have myself...' etc, the way she kind of made herself Become someone blistering and real through her apprehension of an awakening desire etc, sometime in the gap between here and the prologue of stars......it's cool lol. the way safirah here bears so much more resemblance, not exactly in content of personality but in form of metalness and presence, to stars-era tamar, than tamar here bears to her stars-era self.

anyway as usual, new revision changes/additions are in bold, and deleted old things are in strikethrough red

First, a small bit:

Plastered onto the front of one of the cases is some kind of promotional image of two people wearing way too many shiny things. One’s even a demon, as though to say, even a demon can’t help but indulge in what this shop’s got to offer.

I Love Defamilarization So Much. obviously a 'demon' is 'those extremely non-indulgent guys who live apart from society and wouldn't usually be tempted by worldly materialism'. Duh. What else could the term demon mean. anyway it's a nice little curb-cutting before the holy, with it's similar defamiliarized disconnect between irl connotations of term and the in-universe worldbuilding + cultural understanding. The previous version was:

In what Tamar thinks must be some attempt at inclusivity, one’s even a demon. Either that, or she’s just a normal woman with yellow contacts and fake horns, in which case it’s probably the opposite of inclusive.

Which is uhhhh rather cringey and immersion-breaking lol :P Inclusivity even as a concept, let alone phrased in such post-2010s American Leftist sort of language, isn't really a thing on people's minds (or honestly implied to be something being struggled with much) in Sehhinah.

That woman, it was her mouth that was her price for what she did, right? 

Just a little tweak that imo does a lot, especially to someone unfamiliar with the series :) the mention of price and 'for what she did' which leaves the punishing vs approvedness of it ambiguous, especially in terms of how laypeople think of it.

It makes her think of the feeling of awe.  Or fear.  Or curiosity. 

changed from

It makes her think of the feeling of awe.  Or fear.  Or reverence. 

Reverence, too, is not a very culturally salient concept in Sehhinah, I can't think of a single other time such an idea was mentioned in regards to G-d. Curiosity, of course, is incredibly Tamar.

“If you were to do what you’re thinking of,” Elīya continues, “you would have to report back to me on any feelings of guilt, and your overall moral sense of the experience.  After all, it sounds like you have a little bit of morality these days, from my influence, so you should be able to handle that.” Tamar raises an eyebrow, though Elīya can’t see it over the phone. “Impressive bending of moral codes.”

changed from:

“I’m honestly not sure whether you should go into academic philosophy or be a lawyer,” Tamar says, “what with that impressive bending of moral codes.”

It just slightly allows a pause on just how insufferable Eliya is and exactly what Tamar ran away from and had no idea how to explain herself to in Stars when she did LOL. it also mirrors some phrasing that happens in stars, when eliya or yenatru make an expression tamar can't see.

Couple scenes later:

And their left arm is blackened.

Well, it’s more like a reddish-brown, with a slight, flickering glow under the skin.  But it’s burned, burned horribly—the skin twists and turns, and it’s easy to see how it wouldn’t be usable at all.  Adding to that impression is the fact that Safirah doesn’t move it, not even for balance: it really was their price, then. Her breath catches.  It’s beautiful. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—she’s allowed to, she reminds herself, no one will even care or notice—she realizes that the twists on the skin are actually moving.  There are patterns there, patterns of flames and not of flames at all; Tamar squints at it.  She continues to watch Safirah’s arm as the debaters take their seats, trying to follow the patterns there.  She’s becoming half-convinced that they mean something—

I flipped out about this passage back in this post but the thing is it's not even a revision thing. It's always been there!!! In plain sight!!!. I've read it multiple times before the revision and somehow just never snagged on these things.

BUT that incredible passage is heightened by the deletion of a single also very cringey line that seems to have been shoehorned in to try to reassure the readers (or the author herself) of its 'normalcy', as a virtue, at the expense of narrative power or the power of a price as a worldbuilding element in the culture:

Her breath catches.  It’s beautiful. And it certainly doesn’t inspire revulsion, and from what Tamar can tell about the crowd’s lack of reaction, that’s a general fact. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—

blech right??? just like those books so afraid of being problematic they're ridiculous. the revision is MUCH better.

she focuses on Safirah’s face, trying to discern if there’s anything in the way they smile that hints at the power underneath them. The power that has burned them, changed them. She looks long and hard, finding her eyes drawn to Safirah’s. They seem hard, somehow. Like diamonds. Then Safirah begins their opening speech, apparently having been spurred to do so by the announcer: “This will come as no surprise to those of you who have read my writings, but my answer to the question posited by this debate is no.  Not for myself. Yes, as you can see, I have experienced the glory of God firsthand, here, in this life”—they use their right arm to lift their left, for emphasis—“and that’s not the only thing I intend to experience.  I’m one for variety, and if there’s one thing we know about the world after the Resurrection, it’s that it’ll have a lot of that. “Our lives argue for us—they argue for what we want to happen after the Resurrection, what kind of new world, or worlds, I suspect, God will create then.  And I want to experience that—I want to experience it all.  Heaven is already right here in my arm; in my other arm, maybe there can be something else.” Safirah smiles, sharp.

safirahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ;-;

Another observation that has nothing to do with revision, because it already existed this way before, but i love how much this echoes Lucifer's description of what the resurrection will entail, albeit less gratingly phrased, and, also characteristic of safirah (and of stars-and-lives-era tamar) very casually, unselfconsciously, and self-assuredly packing way more background assumptions that fly in the face of what's spelled out more didactically by other characters, regarding theurgy. (the word 'theurgy' never appears in this short story, the word 'manifested' only appears once and in an oblique manner, and only in Israfil's dialogue).

A friend of mine joked, regarding this:

"safirah, accidentally intuiting the entire plot of sehhinah: "

Another change, are a few words in the angel Israfil's speech:

“I came to existence this way, God’s fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in adding what is of me to what exists physically. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied souls.

despite being only a few words off, the original was, on second look, an absolutely BAFFLING and flying-in-the-face-of-all-continuity-and-worldbuilding:

“God made me this way, Their fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in bringing great plans to fruition. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied assistants.”

angels as assistants?????? angels as crafted in a certain way for a purpose???????? G-D '''HAVING'''' '''''PLANS'''''???? LET ALONE PLANS THEY PLANNED TO BRING TO FRUITION WITH ANGELS?????????????? all these things are assumptions that are so commonplace as to be unnoticeable in any other fiction or discussion of g-d and angels and creation, but are so, so anathema to everything in the rest of sehhinah they are completely explicitly contradictory to canon and jarringly misleading. and it is TRULY delightful that this series is so specifically a stickler about how many things in its worldbuilding can NOT be glossed by reference to common assumptions.

Tamar looks back to Safirah’s arm.  The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their suggestiveness, their hints of what has happened to them… she is so curious….

changed from

“The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their promise of pain and joy both…”

ahhhhhhh <3 just another bit of characterization and worldbuilding rigor: no promises, no specificity, just a sexually-charged word 'suggestiveness', riddling hints, another appeal to Tamar's curiosity, and the ambiguity of whether the word 'them' refers to the burns, or to Safirah, or either/both. The phrasing also echoes Lives, where when g-d Sees tesena, tamar's pov on the shockwave is:

she doesn't understand anything at all and it's a delight to see it, a delight to see it all, but yet she is so curious...

Then more of what i was flipping out about in that other post, most of which, again, was there All Along, only one line at the end has been added in this revision:

God, the patterns of the burn really do seem to be moving—and wait, the glow… oh.  The glow beneath their skin moves too, in a different way from the marks on the skin itself.  In the glow also, Tamar swears she can see patterns, if only it would stop moving for a second.  She wonders if they’re the same patterns as the ones on the skin.  Do they complement each other?  Do they mean something different? God doesn’t communicate in words, Tamar knows, so they’re unlikely to be letters—but then, maybe, feelings? Or, since that burn in Safirah’s arm is God—is God, Themself, Safirah chose to have part of their body be that great and flaming soul—perhaps it’s not something consistent at all.  Maybe it represents whatever God’s thinking about, right now, at this moment, or what if it’s even what God and Safirah are thinking, saying in reaction to each other…?

auuuugh....... ;-;

next up:

She has prayed to God before, of course.  Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to a feeling of a flurry of flames of flapping wings that responds to your thoughts, but it always seemed just… that? A flame like the sun being there suddenly… but yet no closer than the sun.

But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…

changed from:

She has prayed to God before, of course. Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to feeling bright light and feeling a response to your thoughts, but it’s not much more than the light from sunbathing. So it never interested her that much. But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… well, it turns out that praying is barely even a window into the real experience of God. Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…”

this is a bit more in line with how other characters (yairen, tesena, nam'ir -- and the characters in Lives after the Pillar, but that experience is extremely atypical lol) experience g-d while praying: something big, but with very varied experiences regarding how much meaning could be extracted from that non-holy communication. and the trailing off after 'swirling...' is of course superior.

Safirah sighs, long and rough.  They raise their left leg and press Tamar’s chest to the wall with their knee.  That done, they remove their right arm, the one that originally did the pressing, from Tamar’s shoulder.

changed from:

Safirah sighs, a long and rough thing, not at all what Tamar might have assumed one of the Holy is supposed to sigh like, if they are supposed to sigh at all. They raise their left leg and with their knee press Tamar’s chest to the wall.

This is another excellent deletion of a more blandly-commonplace, but completely-out-of-continuity-with-the-rest-of-the-series idea of how the holy are viewed by characters in-universe.

Safirah’s laughter fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, kid, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking.  Oh, but you were so concerned about it!  That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting an actual attack.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. “Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, an attack.  Nothing to do with the city itself, just with me. As I’ve directly argued that little to nothing would be lost if the option for Heaven were removed—not that I expect or want such to happen—I’ve been a target for a decent share of nasty letters lately. Now, usually those types don’t actually follow up on their threats, but when I heard suspicious and yet poorly concealed footsteps behind me in an alleyway… I admit I may have jumped to conclusions. As I think I am generally skilled at not doing in the context of writing, debates, and so on, this one included.”

there is soooooo much more suggestiveness here than in the previous version. maybe my jewishness is showing but i just really enjoy the whole idea of safirah being targeted with hate mail because their ideas are considered dangerous or serious enough to warrant it.

the original was a much less interesting and rather clunky 'a mugger, due to safirah reading too many crime novels' rather than 'an attack, due to safirah getting nasty letters (death threats?) about their work':

Safirah’s laugher fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, honey, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking. Oh, but you were so concerned about it! That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting muggers.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. "Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, muggers. This may be a major city, and very Holy-respecting at that, but to someone motivated enough, my arm may read as a weakness to be exploited—or maybe I’ve just been reading too many crime books lately. What I’m trying to say is, I am neither weak nor always the best at thinking on my feet when in an unfamiliar city. Though I think I did well in the debate.”

this is kinda boring imo. lol. it didn't stand out to me as bad or good before, but one of the really fun thing about all these revisions is how i can really feel how much more thoughtful and/or efficiently-packing-in-implied-ideas-and-info basically all the revision changes are! which is honestly really motivating/idea-generating to me if i ever try to write fiction in the future? how to replace anything bland or whatever-feeling with something that holds more information (including just aesthetic/emotional information).

[f3mcelbambi]

Hi from what I've know on this page your "GF" never liked you. ever. sorry but you are fucking delusional and she was so uncomfortable the thought you liked her and it ended so why are you still obsessing over her and why do you act like she owes you something and shes bad and youre a saint. Leave her alone. Poor her. You are actually horrrible

omg this is like my first hate comment ever. i would normally just ignore things like this but i feel as though i should address things to moots and others. and i’ll try to attack this in a mature and composed fashion.

first of all, you’ve already discredited that entire statement by saying “from what i’ve known”. exactly, you do not know the whole story. you do not know us personally as individuals. therefore you are not entitled to judge the morality of the situation

you do not have the right to call me delusional or horrible or say that she felt uncomfortable with the thought of me liking her. you can have your opinion. but it would be invalid, naturally, as you only know what i’ve told you or shown you. which makes you inevitably biased. i do not show or tell you everything

you were not there at the beginning of our friendship, nor the middle. i started talking about gf nearing to end of it actually. i don’t know how far you’ve read but i do believe it’s not very far. because if so, you would have a different opinion. not once did you confront any of gfs behaviour towards me then made me the antagonist. i dont believe i am a saint but she is not innocent either

if you actually do read my blog, i have mentioned several times that i do have borderline personality disorder and she is my favourite person. you not being able to understand why i’m “obsessing” over her shows lack of comprehension and evaluation skills. we stopped being friends a week ago. after months of torment from the friendship, i don’t think i should be expected to just get over it.

i have addressed that i am aware that gf is straight. but i also believe speculation isn’t completely unacceptable here. the way she has treated me has been extremely abnormal in any platonic sense and i recognised that from the beginning. but i have never felt like she has owed me anything and i’m not too sure what gave you that conclusion. however i don’t think i’m asking of too much to be treated with respect and not to be toyed with. i do not expect her to be devoted to me, but i am a person with feelings that shouldn’t be played with. i personally do feel disrespected by how gf has treated me. not because she doesn’t like me. but because she lacks sheer common decency as a human being.

i am not obliged to give you a full story time of every single thing that has happened since the beginning. please understand that we are real people and not characters that you can just slander over an anonymous text on the internet. the situation is more complex than what you read on my blog. obviously

[theowritesfiction]

Hey!

I'd just like to thank you for being such an active member of the Azutara community. I ship them, and define Azula's character in the series as 'morally grey' (I mean, I can't see how any mature adult could call a 14 year old inherently evil, but I suppose watching the show as a child would give you a pretty lasting impression of that), but I have not yet found anyone who has remotely the same opinion as you, and am SO glad I found a kindred spirit in you.

You might recognise me through my AO3 username, lordinkbot, as I've been systematically leaving kudos as I make my way through your Burning Ring series and now am around fifty chapters through WLG, with every intention to finish it. I have THROUGHLY enjoyed everything you've written so far, but I'm still too shy to leave a comment on AO3, so I hope I can express gratitude here instead.

I have a question which will probably be answered as I keep reading, but could you please let me know when exactly you decided to make YuKaZula a throuple in WLG, instead of sticking to the Azutara pairing? I've been reading comments as I read, but there's been no real hints towards it, and as this is the first fic of significant length with polyamory in it that I read, I'd appreciate some insight into your thought process.

Aside from that, I think your writing is so well thought out, and despite the length of some of your fictions, it never seems to drag. Heck - I read The Pit of Snakes in one day flat because I simply could not stop. Thank you so much, again, for being active in this community, and I hope you never, ever stop writing.

All the best, Inky

Hey there, and thank you for this wonderful message, my head has now swelled to comical size from all the compliments to my writing. :)

Yes, I don't feel comfortable slapping a 14 year old girl with the label of Evil. I think Azula commits a few acts that could be classified as evil, but nowhere near as many as most people seem to believe. Azula in the show can be very unpleasant, but at the same time, I have not seen anything that would make me think that she couldn't change her ways.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing, and don't feel pressured to comment on ao3 if you don't feel comfortable. I hear that from quite a few readers - really, it's fine :)

YuKaZula throuple in WLG definitely was not planned when I set out to write the story. However, when Yue joined Katara and Azula in Ba Sing Se, I found that the characters gradually developed a more powerful emotional bond than I expected them to. Eventually, they grew so close that I couldn't imagine Yue being with someone else other than Azula and Katara. Of course, Katara and Yue already shared a bit of romantic past, but Yue and Azula had also kissed and obviously found each other attractive. At least from the writing perspective, this really was the case of characters insisting on which way they wanted the relationships to go. I hope that as you read the story, you'll see what I mean by that!

I'm very glad you enjoyed the Burning Ring trilogy, and you definitely don't need to worry about me stopping writing. I have plenty of ideas for more Azutara stories, so I'll be writing about these girls for a while yet. Messages like these also help to inspire me to keep going, so thank you so much for your kind words!

[mz-elysium]

why wyll....

i finished bg3 with wyll and idk if i've ever been SO MAD about any story's writing choices. i legit feel robbed of what we could've had.

i've never felt such a feral need to write fanfic to fix... an entire character.

spoilers and rant under cut

idk if people were whining THAT MUCH about Wyll in early access. I just know he was rarely used bc as the "Blade of Frontiers" w/o Pact of the Blade, he really suffered in combat.

But, hey, he's now... quite good. My hero of Act 2 fights (sorc!Tav, Wyll, Shadowheart, Astarion). Gave him two levels of Paladin and he hits like a truck.

But they ~rewrote~ his story.

They broke him. This was a PERFECTLY good warlock and they ruined him. He was a fraud, a liar, a reckless proud cheat who wanted to be beloved by the smallfolk and sung about by the bards -- and not beat by goblins at level 1, but he was a useless fighter so he made a pact with a devil. Like the others, he was complicated. Flawed. In need of fixing a deep-rooted problem that the tadpoles could've taken advantage of.

But now, he's unfinished. His story feels so empty in Act 3. I managed to free him from the pact AND save his father, but their reunion is so flat and lackluster. I was totally expecting to find that an overbearing father was at the heart of Wyll's need to be praised/admired/loved, but there's just total forgiveness.... after 7yrs of exiling your teenage son for fucking a devil. Their dialogue trees also kept looping and his father addressed Tav as "my son" more than once.

Throughout the game, Wyll also said (in the same convo) that he "always wanted to get out of the pact", "never regretted it", and had "a hero's heart". He encouraged me regularly to follow my heart, that we don't need tadpoles or other powers to Do The Right Thing. Bruh. You're a warlock. What moral high-ground do you have? Either Mizora has never fucked you over by having you kill innocents/do minor evil (obviously not true), or she has, in which case you're a desperate liar but I can't call you out on it.

They made Wyll flawless, mature, always right, and honourably heroic. He never loses his cool. He holds nothing against his father. He's never lost a major defeat to hold grudges against. I would've loved EA Wyll to have a chance to become this stoic, calm, centered paladin. But Wyll, now, doesn't feel like he's earned it.

They made Gale less manipulative/sketchy before launch, which is fine. But completely erasing Wyll's growth by dropping him at the finish line is so unsatisfying.

I can totally see EA Wyll's development: from a lying adventurer crutching on his powers and needing the praise and reputation as a folk hero, to leaving the pact behind and growing up to save his father at the cost of his legend; becoming Grand Duke to do "common boring heroics" that make a difference.

But it just... doesn't exist. I have no idea why full-release Wyll wouldn't become his father's heir. He doesn't seem to need his identity as The Blade of Frontiers as much as EA Wyll did. He's older, mature, and less violent.

It felt the whole time like I was adventuring with someone whose arc had already finished. Shadowheart and Astarion changed dramatically; their comments, greetings, convos. Wyll was so static and painfully dull.

Also, making him half-devil looks super wonky. His horns are too wide and don't really suit him, let alone how he clips. He has no arc, coming to terms with them. You can't uncurse him.

I was most excited for Wyll in full release and I just feel like I played 92hrs waiting for him to turn on. A waste of a companion slot, when I could've taken Lae'zel this whole time and actually had a character with depth and development.

[gittetj]

Ooooohh that's a fun ask game! Oh man would it be too much to ask about 5 characters? I'll try to make it short anyway

Could you do 1 for Nagata, 4 for Iida (listen. i know it's completely out of left field to ask this about iida. but we don't know anything about him. so can i at least have the courtesy to know what he likes or used to like OR IS THAT A SPOILER TOO??) 45 for Satsune, 46 for Himiko (mainly i'm curious about what makes her listen lol) and 51 for Yuka if you have the time?

.....actually would it be even mucher to ask for 50 about Higashio? He's hardly a "newer oc" but I have a sufficient argument. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE

Hey, I asked for questions, no need to worry about giving too many of them.

My mind has been very far away from my stories in the last couple weeks. Life kind of drags and I've run out of plants to dig up from my garden (my new coping mechanism, apparently), so thanks for giving me something more creative to focus on for a little while!

1. Nagata: What’s the lie your character says most often?

Hmm, hard to answer without spoilers. Nagata doesn't tell little lies much. She's earned her current position by being rigorous, hard working, and brutally honest anywhere she can get away with it. She doesn't like to lie, it's risky and potentially harmful, but sometimes she thinks it's necessary, and she is very good at lying, so she'd rather take that task on herself than entrust anyone else with it. In other words, I guess most of her lying is done to help or protect someone else.

4. Iida: What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Oh man this is hard. Often, the way I get to know my characters is to sort of interview them in my mind, or ask other characters about them if they don't want to talk to me (Iida is not chatty), and I think you could ask anyone about him and they would have no idea.

Iida has spent a Lot of time alone, so obviously he must have ways he likes to pass the time. I've been mentally glaring at him to make him speak up, but he only informs me he likes watching baseball. This is the best I can do, sorry

45. Satsune: What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

People commenting on her appearance. Mostly if it's meant in a positive way. She will resent you for calling her pretty or cute, but she won't care as much if you call her gross for emerging from the forest covered in mud and leaves like the cryptid she is.

46. Himiko: Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Big big talker. She often bulldozes over other people in conversations, interrupts them, dismisses the points they try to make, etc. She's pretty bad at picking up on social cues, but if someone starts crying or lashing out in a way where it's obvious something's wrong, she will shut up and focus on trying to understand the problem so she can help.

51. Yuka: What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Hmm, I haven't given her any, have I? The main speech quirk I keep in mind for her is that she laughs a lot.

I don't like to put pop culture references in the things I write, but if I did and if she was better at English, I really think Yuka would love Tumblr (Moblr?) She could recite all your favorite Tumblr memes for you.

50. Higashio: What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you personally don’t agree with?

Higashio is frustrating because I really like him and find him relatable in some aspects, but he's also so... old fashioned? Misinformed? Like, there's clearly things other people have knocked into his head so hard that he's internalized them and isn't even aware of it. He's the kind of person who'll tell someone who's struggling that they aren't trying hard enough, the kind who'll tell them to stop being lazy and get a job, who'll call them ridiculous for being upset about something he doesn't understand, EVEN when he genuinely feels bad for them and wants to help. My patience with stuff like that got used up a long time ago.

Weirdly specific character building questions

[izoryotaro]

The thing is, Aziraphale looks genuinely unhappy and uninterested while talking to the Metatron. Even when the Metatron is literally heaping praise on him, his face is going “no no no no” and then he says firmly “I don’t want to go back to Heaven!” That’s when Metatron ups the figurative ante and brings up Crowley, and Aziraphale doesn’t look hopeful here, he looks pissed and protective. Unfortunately the camera cuts immediately after Metatron drops the bomb about making Crowley an angel, so we don’t get to see how Aziraphale actually reacted. We never hear the rest of his conversation with the Metatron – what is being left unsaid? Something to get an obviously reluctant Aziraphale in line? After leaving the Metatron and crossing the street, he does not look happy. He looks worried and upset, and doesn’t have at all the expression of someone genuinely thinking they’re about to deliver good news. He only attempts a smile after passing Maggie and Nina (which could be read into deeply or not at all).

Then he starts his conversation with Crowley, and this Aziraphale is not acting like he always does around Crowley. With Crowley, Aziraphale is only ever comfortable, lovey dovey, contemplating sin, or a huge bitch. In this conversation, he’s doing the flustery panicked behaviour he only ever does around other angels – or when he’s lying, or when he’s trying to get Crowley to lie for him. We get him nervously narrating parts of his conversation with the Metatron and when we cut back he’s still frantic, finally saying “it could be like the old times, only nicer!” 

It’s so weird. Aziraphale (as we just heard) didn’t like the old times, he likes the earth times, and “nice” is specifically a four-letter triggering word between the two of them. But Crowley doesn’t react typically, and this is somehow the tonal turning point of the conversation, after which Aziraphale stops gesturing, and from then out he only uses stock phrases, which are really out of character for him. “If I’m in charge I can make a difference” When has he ever wanted to be in charge of anything? Why would he not say “we” here if he’s trying to convince Crowley to join him? “You could be my second-in-command” – what, Aziraphale? Nothing he says after this point makes sense, and Crowley is looking at him like he’s never met this guy, he’s so confused by it.

Notably Crowley is also not acting like himself! This is not how he typically deals with Aziraphale. He tempts him, he questions him, he manipulates him (but only obviously enough that Aziraphale is clearly aware of it), he yells at him in a moralizing way but rarely in a belittling way. In the season one breakup he can’t call Aziraphale stupid without also calling him clever. He listens to him, and he calls him out. So why does he just, not address any of the weird shit Aziraphale has said, and instead immediately launch into confessing when he hasn’t confessed for 6000 years and has spent them, by his own admission, talking to Aziraphale? Why does he call him an idiot and say he understands a whole lot better than him, in a condemning rather than frustrated tone? What does his comment about “no nightingales” mean??? Why would he then go to kiss Aziraphale at that moment, of all the chances he’s had? 

Anyway – what is Aziraphale looking at repeatedly before he follows the Metatron out of the bookshop? The coffee shop is visible out of that window – Crowley and the Bentley are too? It seemed at first that Gabriel’s box was also propped up in that direction, but on second glance it’s the bible Aziraphale left open to the story of Job, just covered with cloth. He seems to hesitate on deciding whether to take anything, looks again, says no. And then there’s his whole facial journey in the elevator. And meanwhile, Crowley specifically checks on Nina and Maggie (weirdly asleep) before getting into the Bentley, which then plays non-Queen music, and drives away slowly (under the speed limit even?)… And poor Muriel is left with the bookshop and a mystery novel from Crowley that Gabriel had shelved earlier.

So yeah. What’s all this then?

[bestworstcase]

Your comments about Salem's group being more unified compared to Ozma's Ozluminati rings even more true when you consider how in their first scene in V4, all of her major lieutenants are cordial and don't fight or bicker with each other over the matters at hand, even despite the fact that each of them have vastly different temperaments, goals and personalities. Especially when you consider just how much the Ozluminati were bickering and at each other's throats and backstabbing each other (well, Ironwood specifically).

You'd especially think Tyrian of all people would be a sore point given his fanaticism, but he works well with Watts and there's no indication of animosity between Tyrian and Hazel.

The only people who don't get along with everyone else is CINDER'S group, and that's because she's out of sync with everyone else, and focused solely on her own goals at the expense of the bigger picture.

Ozma preaches about unity, but Salem's group actually abided by it.

That said, her being the outsider despite her parallels to Salem's character mirrors Ruby and her own team's move towards being the outsiders to Ozma's goals; Both are in the position to force their respective immortals to truly break out of the cycle of misery they've been stuck in for millennia precisely because they're able and willing to to move outside of the expectations and narrative loop, at least if that's what's being hinted at in the story.

i don’t think(?) i’ve ever argued specifically that salem’s group has better internal unity than does ozpin’s, only that ozpin’s secrecy and conspiratorial thinking is corrosive to the social cohesion of his followers and that salem doesn’t seem to care about ‘dividing’ people whatsoever except insofar as she takes advantages of the division baked into the system ozma designed after the great war; certainly given that cinder is one of salem’s closest lieutenants and the single most important individual to the success of salem’s plans, salem’s failure to (or disinterest in trying to) properly manage the tension between cinder’s faction and salem’s loyalists is no less a grievous strategic error than ozpin’s failure to foster cohesion among his associates.

however what IS true is that salem seems to actually trust her lieutenants. compare ozpin’s suspicious reaction to lionheart disregarding “specific instructions” he left behind in the event of his death against salem’s habit of setting simple objectives (“locate the spring maiden,” “secure sienna khan’s alliance,” and such) and providing relatively little in the way of detailed instructions; even her plan for haven once they discovered the spring maiden’s location (“use lionheart to quietly access the vault, take the relic, and let the white fang blow up the campus to cover our tracks”) had rather a lot of slack built in. salem left it to cinder’s discretion how to approach convincing raven to work with them, and cinder obviously felt, and acted, as though she had the standing to adjust the plan in accordance with the specific circumstances—and if she’d succeeded i don’t think there’s any doubt that salem would have been pleased with her. ozpin micromanages because he doesn’t trust the people who work for him; salem does trust her people and thus she leads by setting goals, providing general guidance, and making corrections where she feels it necessary.

i’d imagine this has a lot to do with why hazel, watts, and (to a lesser extent) tyrian are so loyal to her. as particular as she is about the keeping them on task, focused on her objectives ahead of their own, she also largely leaves it up to them to work towards the objectives she gives them as they see fit.

this trust is precisely how emerald is able to trick her in V8. once hazel turns on her salem is able to immediately and accurately discern why (“you’ve decided against vengeance for your sister”—she saw right through hazel’s moral rationalizations) and she’s not at all surprised, which suggests that her trust is not predicated on the arrogant assumption that the people who work for her couldn’t possibly turn against her—see also her placidly confident reaction to cinder’s disobedience—but rather that she is, unlike ozpin, not particularly hung up on the fear of being betrayed. thus she doesn’t think or act from a position of anticipating betrayal (as ozpin does, hence his quick leap to suspecting that lionheart is a traitor) and when she encounters hazel behaving oddly she… notices and begins to press but also just brushes it off once something distracts her, and it’s several minutes (and confirmation of the lamp and oscar being missing) later before she pieces together that “hazel” was really one of emerald’s illusion.

and this is something that always sort of fascinates me because salem clearly Does Have trust issues, the woman flips tables when people lie to her and seems to detest emerald for no other reason than the fact of her semblance, but those trust issues seem to manifest only retroactively, in harsh retaliation when someone lies to her and… somewhat more proportionate responses to betrayal.

this is one of Many Reasons why i think that of the two of them, salem is actually by a wide margin the more emotionally functional out of her and ozma; despite the sheer depth of his deception and the betrayal it entailed she still makes what seems to be a deliberate choice to put her trust in other people, if not emotionally than at least (for lack of a better word) professionally to the extent that is needed for her organization to be at least mostly functional. like… on the one hand you have ozpin railing about how everyone inevitably turns against him, on the other you have salem saying things like, in essence, “i put my trust in you and i trust that you will not disappoint me” with apparently perfect seriousness. she’s miles and miles away from being okay but in this as in… just about every metric other than retaining the willingness to care about other people, ozpin is doing a lot worse gkshfbkd.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Time and time again you prove how real you are.

I really appreciate how you don’t shy away from criticizing authors.

Idk if you follow some on twitter, but many see any form of criticism as hate.

They make it sound like only us get something from the fanfics and we should shut up and be greatful.

Obviously leaving hate comments is not right, but if you put in your notes “What do you think about this chapter?” or “Thoughts?” maybe expect that not all comments are going to be “Amazing”,”Best fic ever” etc.

Anyways, I have the exact same opinion about Annie_vi (Charmander too)

They both seem like very nice people, good authors. They can write so much in such a short time and that’s amazing and an ability many writers would die for. I also appreciate that they try to write something new everytime.

You are right, they are top 5 most popular jikook authors and like you I get why. Their stories are very romcomish, but when you venture outside of the most popular fics you can find so much better.

I know exactly what you mean with that annie_vi Midnight fic. They literary took what made Jimin and Jungkook worthy of being the main characters and gave it to all BTS members. Just why?

I really dislike it when authors force all the guys to be couples. Just make some OCs damn

Do you mind sharing your opinions on starlitknife’s work?

They deleted their fics, but you can find them there https://x.com/starlitknife/status/1659926175181930498?s=46

And anoria_bard’s?

https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoria_bard/pseuds/anoria_bard

If you are familiar with them, of course.

Pt. 1

Why would I shy about it? Once someone releases their work publicly, to be shared to a readership, that work will be subject to interpretation and various types of criticisms.

The issue you're mentioning is something that can be found in every fandom. And I too can understand the authors' frustration with the way some (read a lot) choose to engage with the fanfics they're reading. It's a risk because your target demographic might include a lot of immature people, perhaps teenagers as well, people with a lot of issues who end up projecting them on the authors/works. Moral and political stances are also playing a big part. It's not wrong, but a mature readership knows the difference between author and narrator, between depicting and endorsing and so on. When they don't, they write stupid hate comments so having to read all that as an author who spent countless hours writing 200k words or maybe just 20k must be frustrating to say the least.

But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to talk about a work. Nothing is perfect. I find polarizing opinions about a fanfic or an author a good sign actually because it shows there's something of value there and it's a reflection of the current state of the fanfiction in a specific fandom. Being encouraged to only share positive comments publicly while leaving some negative or/and constructive criticism in private is a bad practice, but I hope authors are able to distinguish between healthy and diverse reactions and mere hate comments.

Pt. 2

I'm familiar with both authors you mentioned. I've started reading starliknife's Jewel of Busan, but I dropped it at some point. I can't really remember why, but it wasn't because I found it bad or anything. I read some of anoria_bard's fics as well, but not much. I remember Creatures of Hate and its sequel.