#and now we're coming up on show

[kuiinncedes]

hehe

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[good-to-drive]

Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself

I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture. 

Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse. 

It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity. 

It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore. 

I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving. 

One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.

The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.

There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives. 

As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence. 

Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.

And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away. 

Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life  – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).

The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need. 

What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence. 

In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.” 

It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied. 

Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.

In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work. 

It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.

When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity. 

It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).

If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?

Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another. 

And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far. 

But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.

[nanihirunkits]

As for Fadel, in this series...

[deadnatura11]

Thinking about how similar Ryan and Oliver's answers about Buddie are, almost like they had prepared them beforehand to not give anything away, show support, and also cover bases against the arguments people might make regarding the writers "turning another straight character gay".

[bonetrousledbones]

Can you tell us your the reasons for why you like Papyrus? (I’m sure you’ve did this before xd, but I always enjoyed rambles about Papyrus. Hope you’re well!)

oh it is 100% his whole loneliness thing. growing up i was a chronic friend group hopper all the way from kindergarten to 8th grade and then by high school that didn't work anymore so i just kinda didn't have any genuine friends for basically that entire 4 years. so hyperfixating so hard on a character who's basically completely centered around that struggle helped me feel a bit less hopeless about it. the funny thing is i think pre-undertale papyrus actually had more friends than i did back then but like its the little things

that's why this fic that i'm gonna plug again hit me so hard tbh. shit sucks when you're trying so so hard to be friendly and engage in other people and then you get to a point where you have to realize they're not at all interested in returning the favor, even if they're not overtly rude about it or anything, they just don't care to get to know you any deeper than surface level convenience and it gets real hard to not let yourself get angsty about it lmao

i do think that while sometimes i wish i hadn't been given such free internet access as a kid i'm still really lucky that i was able to be exposed to undertale when i was. it's such a unapologetically hopeful game that i'm sure it absolutely impacted the way that i think about things today in terms of optimism and the ability to turn bad situations around, and papyrus plays a huuuge part of that entire message. if it weren't for him, i'm honestly not sure if i would've had the drive to keep trying to connect with other people even when it didn't work for so long.

so tl;dr thank you funny little skeleton man for constantly reminding me that making friends is still possible even when your demeanor is frankly weird as fuck. sometimes you just gotta keep truckin until you find your people even if it takes a while

[bitchfitch]

there's these purple flowers I pass when I go for my morning constitutional (checking my mail) and every single time I pass them I think "I should come back and take a picture of those once the sun is up!" and every time I go back out to get a picture of them I'm reminded why I haven't gotten a pic yet. They fucking close up once it starts getting hot and it's hot like 20 hours a day here. so have these pictures of some green bits and the impression of purple flowers instead

[lelianaslefthand]

wait there's seriously only THREE "keep" choices for veilguard... 2 from trespasser specifically and then who the inquisitor romanced... bioware loves being like "in our games your choices have consequences and shape the world around you" and then the conses do not quence whatsoever

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

[uselessnbee]

hello i came back from the dead to say that Percy and Thalia are Mike and Max in another universe

no i will not elaborate

that's it i'm leaving again goodbye

[kingstealer]

aabria going, "as aimee who maybe wants to have a friend sit by you soon" is going to haunt me for the next two weeks. i can already tell.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[absoloutenonsense]

Coming soon…

'cause I want you (for the worse and for the better) by nonsensedarling

When Louis gets invited along to Anne's wedding, Harry is prepared to let people think whatever they want about their relationship. That's what Louis said -- let people think whatever they want. That all changes when Louis sees his ex, who turns out to be Anne's future husband's son. Now, Louis wants to prove that he's an omega that an alpha could want, and Harry wants to get through this weekend without letting his best friend figure out he's in love with him.

Written for the @1daboficfest -- posted here! Moodboard by @dearlou

Read a snippet below the cut!

They walk into the restaurant at 7:02pm, and are promptly guided down a set of stairs into the lower-level party room. 

From the doorway, Harry can see his mom and future stepdad, talking to a couple of younger guys – a dark-haired alpha and a blonde omega from the looks of it. They all laugh and his mom goes in to give one of them a hug while John clasps the other on the shoulder. That must be John’s son and the boyfriend Harry’s heard them talk about. 

Harry takes a deep breath, smoothes out his shirt, and reaches for Louis’ hand, ready to walk in and muscle his way through this weekend.

But Louis doesn’t take his hand. Instead, he grabs onto Harry’s wrist and yanks him in the opposite direction. 

“What?” Harry asks, stumbling a bit as he’s pulled. 

Louis doesn’t say anything, just gets to the restroom area and shoves Harry inside one of the single-room bathroom. 

“Ouch,” Harry says, shaking out his wrist. He watches Louis lock the door and whip around with wild eyes and frown lines etched into his face. “Louis, what the fuck? We’re already lat–”

“Will is here,” he says. 

Harry furrows his brows, unsure what that is supposed to mean. “Will…?”

“Will,” Louis says frustratedly. He looks to the door as he adds, “Will. My ex-boyfriend, Will. Will, who broke up with me after three months because he thought I was too loud and too clingy and too much.” He turns back around to Harry to emphasize, “Will!” 

Harry gasps. Ex-boyfriend Will, who refused to meet Harry because he didn’t like that Louis had an alpha best friend. “Dickhead Will?” 

“Dickhead Will,” Louis agrees. “Fuck. Fuck.” He reaches up and grabs fistfuls of his hair. 

What are the odds that Louis’ ex-boyfriend from Oakland is here in Sacramento now, working at the one restaurant where his mom’s rehearsal dinner is?

“Hey, it’s okay.” Harry steps close, and tries to pull Louis’ hands down from his hair, but they don’t budge. “We can ignore him, yeah? It’s just toni–”

“He was hugging your mom,” Louis interrupts. 

Harry is confused. He shakes his head immediately, ready to say that no, that was his future stepdad’s son – when it clicks.

“William,” Harry says.

“Yes,” Louis says, annoyed, finally pulling his hands down from his hair. “Will is often short for William. Very good, Harold.”

“No. John’s son is named William,” he explains. “He’s John’s best man. They’ve been talking about William and Dimitri – his boyfriend.”

Louis pales. “Jesus Christ.”

“Okay, it’s okay,” Harry says, looking around the room like the sink or toilet will tell him how to handle this. “We’ll just… avoid them.”

The look Louis gives him is unimpressed to say the least. “Avoid them?” he asks, voice filled with mirth. “You –also in the wedding and the co-person of honor with your sister– want to try and avoid another person in the wedding party?”

Harry inhales, his shoulders slowly rising up to his ears as he closes his eyes. “I don’t know, Louis, I’m trying to think of what will make this easier on you. I’m not sure how affectionate they are, but I don’t want you having to see it the whole weekend.”

Harry opens his eyes when he feels hand digging into his shoulders. Louis gives him a little shake, eyes still wild but frown lines mostly unetched. 

“That’s it!” he exclaims.

“What’s it?”

“Affection!”

Humming uncertainly, Harry says, “Affection?”

Louis shakes him again. “Yes.” He looks over Harry’s shoulder as he continues. “That bastard called me clingy, and basically told me an alpha wouldn’t be able to put up with it.” He locks eyes with Harry again. “I can show him I did find an alpha who not only puts up with it, but loves it.”

[nanihirunkits]

hello !! i'm so sorry if this question is annoying but i couldnt find any info on it so i thought i would ask ?! when is the heart killers coming out 🫣

hi!! we unfortunately don't know yet however jojo did tweet the other day that they've started editing the show and that we'll get to see it soon

@airenyah and i have been speculating about the release date and we landed on october 26th (or maybe november 2nd onward) based on future open slots and the show just giving a saturday slot vibe 🫣

[cranberrymoons]

.

[drugsforaddicts]

I open our group presentation that's due tonight and surprise surprise, nothing has been done to it