#and now want queer adult community to watch this with

[doublel27]

I know a good portion of why I love Jojo’s work is the nostalgia.

Like, not only is The Heart Killers full of pop culture references for us elder millennials who enjoyed the western media of our childhood (and I’d love to know more of what Thai references he’s making.) but also his work as a whole is reminiscent of early unapologetically queer television that wasn’t on mainstream channels.

His stuff has the kinky, messy, unapologetic vibes of Queer as Folk and The L Word and Noah’s Arc.

And there’s a part of me that just wants to be sitting in a watch party full of other queers because we all only know one queer with enough money for the premium and cable channels needed to access the content. Like that’s the vibe. We should all be on a couch together yelling.

[hexhomos]

Maybe I’m that one oomf that’s too woke, but I have a feeling that people being weird about jayvik is a sign of Bad Things on the rise =/ I’m old as balls and I’ve been in fandom spaces since late 2000s, and I’ve never seen people act so hostile towards a fanon mlm ship. I mean precisely in women and queer dominated fandom spaces, dudebros never change, whatever. And of course there were always ship wars. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen people act so oppressed over being into het ships, crash out over their ships not being endgame and demand from fandom content creators to accommodate them. What is happening.

I think this started happening around 2023~ to be more precise bc that's when i started getting weird ass entitled comments on OTHER gay ships. IMHO the real issue here is that we are going through fandom clash with a newgen that did not experience early internet and they take the gayness in fandom spaces completely for granted. As in, they think these little niche holes we've built are the de facto 'effortless norm' and minimize the work that's been done to create these safe spaces. This is the kind of rhetoric i keep seeing pop up:

Many of them have also grown up almost exclusively interacting with art created by old fandom graduates where queerness is presented casually. They're not watching shit from the 90's or 00's. They're not adults, so they don't have a personal contrast experience seeing that 'rep' dwindling consistently over the years. They don't remember a time before this and don't know how bad it was.

OFC there are always old ass conservative weirdos riding on this wave to be even more annoying (certain infamous viktor stan accs... lol!) but #backtotradition rightwing bullshit has been on the rise worldwide, and so are the viral tiktok tradwife alphamale detransition white supremacy grifters. Its a larger cultural problem feeding into the micro stuff we see daily and it's terrible. It's also why I tune this shit out and I stand my ground. I'll draw what I WANT to draw and I'm not going to be twisting myself into pretzel shapes to appeal to anyone and everyone; go get YOUR shit elsewhere!

I *do* think people have been getting way more entitled towards fanworks, and that comes with a heightened level of apathy. You can notice this on the decreased number and quality of feedback across twitter, as an example (seeing as that place has been consumed by the conservative grifter wave) but it's also been reported by every fic writer who's consistently used AO3 for years. Tags on tumblr aren't as widely used. The focus on 'community' has been replaced by 'DOES THIS MAXIMIZE ENGAGEMENT?'. I know from personal experience that there is this one specific asshole who, for almost a year now, has been trawling the trans viktor tag and leaving insanely long transphobic critique comments on works of newer writers to discourage them from writing. (They are always on the cusp of open violent transphobia, but shittily cloaked as 'debates' on ~natural biology~ and fantasy logic so they don't get banned. If you've seen the ao3 pfp of a smirking white haired woman before you know who im talking about.)

Things have been Bad and on the Rise for a while now. Look at the current shit on the news. Look at the presidencies around the world. And it's going to get worse before it gets better, because it always does; that's what forces people to wake up. Be annoying. Be watchful. Don't waste your time platforming or debating weirdos that should be left to die on obscurity - this is how trump got a memeable platform, and look at where we are now. Protect your peace.

[drdemonprince]

The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.

When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)

That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.

To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.

I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?

So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.

Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.

What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.

Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.

I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.

I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.

Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)

But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.

Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)

Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.

Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.

I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.

It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .

And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.

It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.

[twopoppies]

It's interesting how many others still get unlarrying content on their fyp. I did too before Liams passing but the last 2 or 3 days I've seen a lot of tiktoks especially from people who say they were directioners but didn't believe in larry and now watching content again and now with adult eyes they absolutely see what we meant back then and that these two def had something going on. And furthermore, I've seen multiple non fans who are asking about Larry because their fyp is full of 1D. And the most interesting ones are from the queer male community who aren't fans and say things like, damn H was accused of queerbaiting a lot and now I'm seeing all these videos and let me tell you, he def had something going on with the other guy etc. and that they had no clue because didn't look into 1D stuff ever.

For everyone who needs to announce that they unlarried every 2nd day, pls do all of us a favor and move on because they clearly haven't. It's annoying at this point. Go have a nice life and find a hobby and let us chill here in our bubble.

I want to incinerate myself every time I see this gif. People who don’t think these two were together are honestly just morons.

I love hearing these stories. I need more of this on my FYP.

[abominable-space-they]

A modern Lulaw au in which Law is a tattoo artist at a long established well respected tattoo shop owned by the Donquixote Brothers, Wild at Heart

Law's been trying to convince them to hire traditionally trained piercers to open an internal dedicated piercing studio forever but Doffy doesn't like any idea that isn't his so he keeps shutting Law down

As a compromise Rosinante starts booking extremely well respected, highly trained traveling piercers both to show Doffy it would make money and to give him a chance to imagine it was his idea all along

Luffy is a traveling piercer who's considered a huge legacy kid celebrity in the body mod community

He was born to, adopted and taught by pioneers in modern body modification. His dads are The Revolutionary Dragon & Sir Crocodile themselves.

Because Luffy's so huge in the scene, Rosi books him for the whole summer season instead of just a couple weekends

Rosinante likes Luffy's tenacity and the total lack of fucks he gives high society and their rules. If there is anyone with the skill, clout, and charisma to convince Doflamingo, it's this kid

When Law meets Luffy, he kinda hates him at first.

Luffy is dressed like he's going to the beach in late fall. Flip flops and a sun hat! Who dresses like that?! And he's way to childish for his age, way to casual with everyone, to disrespectful to the art of body modification. And to top it off he's always moving around, bouncing, bopping, and talk talk talking. Within 20 minutes of their meeting, he asks Law to take him clubbing so he can get familiar with the local queer music scene.

Law says no of course

Luffy asks again

10 million times

(Law's not tempted to just do it, he's not, he hates popularity obsessed scene gays, Luffy obliviously is one. Ugh!)

Then it's time for Luffy's first piercing appt. The client is some youngish kid. It's his birthday and he wants a piercing to celebrate being old enough to legally get one.

Luffy locks in, befriends the kid instantly, asking all manner of questions. He finds out that the kid got a job and worked after school to save up for Luffy's fee for months. He's barely scraped up enough money for a basic piercing with the basic jewelry.

Luffy's calm, confident, professional bedside manner shocks Law. He's so gently reassuring and soft spoken. It's dumbfounding to watch. It's like Luffy got body swapped with some other mature adult responsible piercer.

Before he'll even do the piercing Luffy sits down and keeps talking to the kid till he finds out what the kid actually wanted pierced, what jewelry he dreamed of and he upgrades it for free.

Afterwards Luffy gives the kid high protein snacks and a drink out of his own back pack.

When the kid hands over his card to pay, Luffy only charges him for the snack

Law: you can't just hand out free piercings, my uncle will have your head on a platter, and I for one don't feel like listening to the screaming

Luffy: Don't worry so much Lala. I paid for it. I'm not afraid of Mingo and I'm not shorting anyone.

Law: that's not my name... You know what? Nevermind. Why would you bother to upsell him and then pay for it out of pocket?

Luffy: Silly Lala, I wasn't up selling him, I was giving him what he really wanted. He's a kid. He should spend his money on making his dreams come true. Studios charge to many fees. It's why I don't really work in them. Don't worry about me so much. I won't starve to death paying for one little piercing. It's fine.

Law: Don't be ridiculous, I'm not worried about you starving to death.

Luffy, grinning like mad at him: cool. I'm hungry too. We should get something to eat before I actually do starve.

He's just to charming in such a casual sincere way... And now Law understands why Luffy is basically a folk hero, why everyone who meets him, loves him. Now going clubbing with him doesn't sound so bad.

Law: hmmm well don't go crazy waiving fees, you still have to pay your chair fees. I'll pick up the next one you just absolutely have to comp. There's food in the back for now... and I'll pick you up at nine. If I'm taking you dancing, we need to eat first. I've seen the way you put food away, constantly and like you're starving. I'm gonna feed you before you end up at some leather bar stuffed with tequila and poppers

Luffy: Leather Lala? Ooh. I didn't know we were on poppers terms. I'm a good boy, buy me dinner first. I'm hungryyyy

Law, malfunctioning in embarrassment: I am buying you dinner! I just said that! I mean... You know that's not what I meant.

Luffy: no no you asked me out, you you wanna fill me up and work me out, you started it. I'm invested now. We have to do it. We have to go on a dancing and dinner date.

Law, pretending he isn't ecstatic: fine... Just be ready at nine, I'll make reservations somewhere nice for dinner

It's the Baratie, of course it's the Baratie.

Sanji knows them both. Luffy is his boyfriend's best friend and practically lives at their place.

He and Law are both from up north, they dated way back when they were both trying to force themselves through academics. They both quit college to apprentice in the arts they loved, and decided they were better off as just friends.

They were just to much alike in all the wrong ways

They stayed friends over the years though they're both to busy with their adult lives to see each other to much

Sanji takes one look at Luffy and Law together and cackling evily, calls Nami immediately to tell her that he needs to place a bet that Luffy gets engaged or married within two years.

Nami is livid that he won't share his insider information, Luffy doesn't even date like that

Sanji: Well he's dating now Nami my sweet and totally reasonable beloved best friend. Wait till you see them together. I just know you'll agree with me.

Law, not incidentally does get invited to family dinner that weekend. He begrudgingly accepts

Luffy is ecstatic, he's already decided he's keeping Lala forever and if his real chosen family gets along with him, that makes it even easier.

It's fate. They're gonna be together forever.

Five years later when Doffy & Rosi retire to travel. Law & Luffy rename Wild at Heart, Two Wild Hearts Ink & Steel.

Luffy has his own dedicated piercing studio where he comps almost every single piercing because he just adores people so much.

He can't help himself.

Law never minds anymore. Luffy's infamous family loves to come in and pay it forward for months worth of bookings anyway... and it makes Luffy happy to do it

It turns out, Luffy being happy makes Law really deeply spiritually happy

He'd do a lot more then give up a little pocket money for that smile

He doesn't even have it in him to be embarrassed about it anymore

So what Luffy wants, Luffy gets

Thank god Luffy's favorite thing to get is Trafalgar Law, forever.

They're very happy

Doffy swears hiring Luffy was his idea

[someverygaymoth]

"Politics" and Trans-coding

Disclaimer: Please excuse me, as a person, for bringing "politics" into everything. Please excuse creators like artists, writers, and animators for bringing "politics" like queer people, and trans people, and people of different races, ethnicities, and cultures, into media.

Oh, did I say "politics?" Shit, I meant personhood. Did I say "excuse me?" I meant, we're not sorry.

All artists, be it music, writing, drawing, painting, animation, or anything else, have one thing in common; Creativity. Creativity is the basis of personhood. Why do we create anything, after all, if not to communicate? If not to be understood and known and heard? We tell these stories to echo our own.

Cross being trans-coded is much needed passive representation for groups of people experiencing their personhood to the fullest. Anyone saying that this trans-coding is "forced" or "unlike the character" or "stupid" or stuff like that like that? They're blowing on a republican dogwhistle like it's a harmonica and should be blocked or ignored. If you don't want to see representation where it clearly is, that's probably a problem with how you think (or do not think) about groups that need to be represented.

Now. Not everyone is the enemy. Remember that not everyone in this fandom is an adult with a fully developed mind. Remember that kids do and say dumb things because they don't know everything.

But also understand that American Republicans view Personhood as political, and a lot of people are in danger right now. If you are american, do you research on Agenda 47 (Trump's outline of his plans for presidency. He wrote up a whole manifesto and put it in video form for people to watch. Watch it. And understand.) And do research on project 2025 in case it DOES come to fruition. You have to familiarize yourself with as many outcomes as possible, before they happen, so that you can recognize them and fight them early on if you see the warning signs.

To speak out against something as important as transcoding in a fandom built off of our lord and savior Toby Fox' masterpiece, Undertale; the epic game featuring more queer relationships, love, and hope than the majority of us knew POSSIBLE back in 2015... that's crazy. Like be so for real. Transphobia is not welcome here. Not on my blog, and not in this fandom.

Separate post from my original reblog because I know y'all be skipping the long reblogs. See this. See this and know you are safe here. Know I am a queer, physically disabled American, and I will not let bullshit Republican rhetoric onto my blog. EVER. That shit is blocked on sight, I recommend y'all do the same. Don't trouble yourself with nasty folks like them. They're just trees who think siding with the axe might save them its blade.

[genderqueerdykes]

*deep breath* Okay. I am going to be a mature adult and not let my feelings rule me.

I'm sorry for lashing back at you, that was tactless.

I just really feel like allies only exist in privileged spaces, mostly because I live in blood-red Oklahoma. I am fortunate enough not to live in a more rural area, but I have been rejected from jobs on no other basis than me being trans and I can't really do anything about that because, apparently, we are no longer recognized by state law. I watched the news about Nex Benedict last year and it has affected the way I act ever since. I'm terrified that yeah, that absolutely could be me next. That could be anyone I know next. I have never seen a single cishet adult actively stand up for the trans community. In fact, quite the opposite.

All of my friends (which is like three people) are queer. Two of them are transmasc like me, and the third is genderfluid. All of us have horrible, unsupportive parents.

The only adults I've ever met who stood up for the trans community was a t4t straight couple at Starbucks. That's it.

I'm almost certainly going to have to drop out next year and get my GED- or at least re-enroll in a different school- because of how bad it is here. I absolutely would not be surprised if Oklahoma becomes a Do Not Travel state soon. Especially under Trump and the GOP. I'm scared. My life could potentially be on the line.

oh god, i am so sorry you're in oklahoma of all places, my heart goes out to you. that is a seriously dangerous place to be as a queer person. i think it's fine to be skeptical about queer allies existing in these kinds of situations. like being skeptical vs. outright denying something exists are two different experiences, and credit where credit is due- i would be skeptical too, in your shoes. i didn't articulate that well at *all* so i would like to apologize, because i can see why that point wouldn't come across

this is like. an absolutely insane coincidence, i'm not pulling your leg, but the queer ally librarian in her 60s i mentioned in my last post? she actually just moved back to oklahoma, that's where she was from originally. if you end up needing any resources in your area, i can try to ask her to see if there's anything she would be able to find for you, either in terms of helping you find community, advocacy groups, safe places to go, or whatever it may be. that is an insane coincidence but i just thought i'd mention that because even if you live in a different part of OK, her being a librarian, she might still be able to help

it's definitely okay to be scared. like forreal, i don't want people to think they just have to stop being scared of queerphobia just because cishet allies exist. you could be in an entire community of queer allies and still find a dangerous queerphobic asshole. the mere existence of queer allies does not offset the damage queerphobes do, nor does it inherently make up for queerphobic society existing in the first place. you don't have to tell yourself to suck it up, especially given the times we're in right now

i hate that people are actually having to relocate and consider relocating right now. like as if it weren't bad enough, now we have something very frightening on the horizon. none of us know what will happen, and that uncertainty is horrifying. you have no way to know how to prepare yourself for anything that may come your way.

i want you to know that i really appreciate this message, and that i don't think you have to just suck it up and pretend things are fine just because queer allies exist. you are allowed to be skeptical, and scared. you are allowed to still be very terrified of queerphobia and the impact queerphobic people have vs. the impact allies have. because the impact queerphobes have right now is much larger than the impact that allies have. i just hope that by strengthening the bond between queers and allies that we can flip that balance.

take care of yourself and seriously let me know if you think you may need resources, my librarian friend will likely know of something, or will be happy to find something out for you. take care of yourself for now. we're in some really shitty times. it's easy to become bitter, jaded and disenfranchised.

[leverage-ot3]

Is leverage redemption worth watching? I love Leverage but idk if i could enjoy the show if hardison isn't in most episodes or if the reboot sells out in some way.

okay so I showed up to this ask like four months late with a smoothie so I'm sorry about that BUT

does redemption have it's flaws? yes, I will be the first to admit that!

however, as someone who deeply loves leverage, the characters and what the show stands for, I still can find myself enjoying redemption.

there's one post that's in my drafts talking about the differences between the og and redemption and the so-called universe physics (how logic works in both shows and how they are the same/differ) and there are definitely some differences. there are some really good posts comparing them in the tags and I'll try to tag them as watch redemption when they come up!

I'm going to be really honest right now and say that (no shade) I feel like redemption s1-2 were lacking because john rogers was not a main writer for them. devlin and the others are great and know their stuff, but redemption was missing some of the grit (balanced with everything else) that the original run had. redemption is more fun and lighthearted (where the og was still fun and had comedic elements but also had a more jaded perspective). I think part of that change is the absence of nate as a character and what he brought to the table, but the other part of that is very much the way the show is written overall

I have seen some criticism about parker being a caricature of what she was in the original run (ex: how she goes to a child's psychologist and uses puppets sometimes, is overtly weird, more loud about stuff, etc) BUT I will say that I think there's some nuance to that

I don't think the child psychiatrist thing is infantalizing- some methods of therapy work for people more than others and that is me speaking as someone who works in mental health. if play therapy and stuff like that work for you as an adult, good for you! whatever works for you is more than enough the overtly and loudly being weird thing I really do think can be taken either way. in the original run part of parker's character progression was that she was learning how to interact with people normally (or at least more efficiently), but her being more out about that now can be taken as she is more comfortable in her skin and acting like she wants because she is surrounded by people who love and support her. maybe she doesn't want to (or have to!) mask all the time and I don't see a problem with that

HOWEVER! there are certain criticisms that are related to her characterizations and overlaps with her autism and I don't want to speak over the autism community about those aspects and how they have manifested in her character in redemption so I'm leaving it there

as for the hardison being absent aspect- I was REALLY afraid of that at first BUT the loss isn't so deeply impactful when you have characters like breanna and harry added to the mix. I went in ambivalent about harry and excited to have breanna (a canon queer) joining the team, but I have come to love and cherish both of them dearly and wouldn't want to replace them or lose them as characters in this found family ensemble. I think the writers handled aldis' packed schedule really well and even though he isn't there in most episodes, his presence is still very much around. parker and eliot talk about him and reference him when he's gone. so do sophie and breanna, even harry. he isn't on the screen but the relationships he's formed with the other characters and the impact he's had on them is very evident.

there are some takes from users about whether or not the ot3 was queerbait, un-canoned, etc in redemption. I have a lot of thoughts about it and a lot of them are incomprehensible but what I can say is that I have renewed hopes for the progression and canon development of their relationship now that john rogers is back as the main writer for s3

[supercalime]

A goodbye post I guess?

Hey yall, i wanted to write something about all of this as this may be the last time I talk about this show. Apologies in advance, this will be long and all over the place cause im using this little essay to get it off my chest and help me calm down my anxiety. Strap in, this will be a doozy.

First off, no matter how sad and disappointed we are, let’s please not stoop down to the level of those fans when it comes to voicing our issues with this situation. Please, let’s not harass, call people names, send them threats, etc. we can voice our opinions in an adult way, and although it fucking hurts and it makes us want to shout from the rooftops and call Murphy, Minear and Stark every name in the sun, we need to be grown ups and come out on top of it.

That being said, I want to first acknowledge how fun and cool yall are. We endured A LOT of shit since april and all that bullshit didn’t stop you from keeping the positivity going. I applaud you all for that. It has been hard. I came in contact and became friends with some really nice people here and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I loved being a part of this fandom and it physically hurts me that this feels like it was all for nothing.

Even though I feel like a fool as well, I hate to see how you are all so sad with this. This wasn’t our fault. We were not naive for believing that this storyline could’ve been great. Don’t blame yourself for being taken advantage of. Because that’s what they did. They saw the opportunity to profit from a community and took it. They are the ones in the wrong. They used us for brownie points and then tossed us away like trash the second they got what they wanted. It’s on them.

What I’m about to say now will sound hypocritical as I’m writing this at 2am while trying to cope with an anxiety attack caused by this very show, but what we can take away from this is that unfortunately, we can’t rely on tv shows for happiness. Yes, that’s a bitter pill to swallow, specially in this political climate as we were hoping for some sort of escape from the horrors of the elections. What i took away from this is that I need to (for lack of a better word) touch grass. I need hobbies, I need friends. All things that I’ve been lacking because fandom stuff is easier. I need to find stuff that makes me happy that doesn’t depend on outside factors. But also I want to make sure that if a show is all you have, that’s okay and is even more okay to feel betrayed. I was an absolute mess a few years ago when a show I adored stabbed their fans in the back, but it gets better. You still get angry remembering you were done dirty but I promise that the memories that stick are the positive ones.

I don’t wanna go on a deleting spree but I also don’t want to be reminded of this hurtful moment as the wound is still fresh, so I’m deciding to reevaluate some things offline, like I did with previous fandoms, and come back when I’m ready. I don’t think I’ll leave tumblr or never watch/talk about 911 again but I need some time and space from it so I can feel better. I don’t want to doom scroll through the tags like I did tonight. What Ryan Murphy, Tim Minear and Oliver Stark did to us was awful, but the best thing I can do is not let these three men influence my mental health. I won’t let a tv show ruin me because it’s not my fault. It’s not our fault to believe that there were half decent people in the entertainment industry that cares about the portrayal of queer individuals. They will have to sleep at night with that knowledge and deal with the consequences from the BoBs. And if these guys decide to humor the BoBs that’s their funeral. It would further show they never cared about representation and just wanted to save face after making so many people miserable for simply enjoying a canon ship. I hope they can see the consequences because I’m not even the target here. I’m hurt for all the queer men that saw themselves in buck and tommy, that even messaged the actors thanking them for their honest portrayal.

In conclusion, here’s my goodbye (for now).

Thank you so much bucktommy nation!

Yall are the best,

Love, Lety 🖤

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. All but one of these are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Chaser Game W

Fuyu got a personality transplant this week and I have officially given up on this show being what I hoped it was. Enjoy the mess and the humiliation kink and don't look for consistent writing, logical plot, or deeper themes and you will find some things to enjoy. Like these two beautiful ladies making out a bunch!

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yara ka

I love this show so much, y'all. This week we got the return of Sakae's selfish chaos ex, Mizuki, and because this is a show by and for adults, this resulted in our leads engaging in some proper communication, clarifying their feelings for each other, and sharing their first kiss by the end of the episode. I loved seeing more of Sakae and Mizuki's dynamic, and I just know if Soga wasn't in the picture Mizuki would already be in with Sakae again. Sakae is a soft touch and Mizuki clearly knows how to play him. But thankfully, Soga has already wormed his way into Sakae's loyal heart, so he was not tempted to waver. And for Soga, who is experiencing a queer awakening via his relationship with Sakae, Mizuki's presence was a much needed jolt to sort out his own feelings and decide he wants to try a relationship despite his concerns about not staying in Osaka long-term. I also loved the way their friends rallied around them to push Sakae and Soga to figure their shit out, and the sauna scenes will never get old.

Perfect Propose

It's official, I have adopted Kai as my child and will be forming a protection squad. This show is striking a good tonal balance of being fairly downbeat and serious, between Kai's past and Hiro's current work/life balance issues, but also uplifting in how their relationship builds. I like that they talk to each other so honestly about what they're feeling for each other, and Kai's quiet confidence that Hiro returns his feelings and just needs to come to terms with it is both hilarious and correct. My favorite thing that happened in this episode was Kai confidently noting all the ways Hiro’s body was responding to him and asking him to “be conscious of it.” Kai wants Hiro to be conscious of Kai’s feelings but also of his own responses, and he’s asking him not to look away from it and pretend he doesn’t know there’s something between them. I love the confidence of that.

And I sympathize with Hiro, as well, because it's not just that he's never considered being with a man before--he also just doesn't feel he has anything to offer to a partner right now given his brutal work situation. His guilt and shame for missing the festival after inviting Kai to go together was real, and you can see that he just can’t fathom having anything to give with the situation he’s in at work right now. The trick will be trusting that Kai can accept those limitations until he’s able to find a better balance, and then actually taking steps to pay attention to what he needs and wants, both in this relationship and in his career. Hiro has not been taking care of himself and it's catching up to him.

Ossan's Love Returns

A downbeat week for this show, and an episode that did not entirely work for me. I liked some of the themes they were exploring in this one, but it was all missing the humor that I've come to rely on and I don't feel that all the story threads pulled together as tightly as they normally do. In particular, my head is inquisitively tilted at the show's decision to make Maki and Haruta's wedding episode feel like such a misery slog, to focus primarily on the tension and strife leading up to the event rather than the joy it should inspire, and then to stay in the melancholy after a small moment of catharsis for our couple (and some season 1 flashbacks) by focusing on the sadness their marriage inspired in their various lonely suitors rather than their own wedded bliss. Seeing a wedding in jbl is a practically unheard of occurrence; a bit more queer joy was in order IMO and its absence was notable. I also thought the swing from Kurosawa beginning to accept a new role in Haruta’s life to suddenly going back to being lovelorn felt abrupt and poorly constructed. It's not that I think these ideas are unfounded given the show's focus on older male characters who feel past their prime for romance, but the execution was not quite right. And of course I am not too keen on the death flagging we got at the end for Kurosawa; I really hope the show will not take this story in a tragic direction for him.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

I have still only seen the first four episodes of this; sadly, the next batch is not yet available to me. But soon! In the meantime, let's revisit Nomoto sobbing over a lesbian film. She's just like me fr.

Next week we'll be continuing all of these plus adding My Strawberry Film, the final Drama Shower (go here for an explanation on what that is from @bengiyo) show for the season! I continue to be delighted by this embarrassment of jql riches.

[drdemonprince]

I'd really like to enjoy sex parties (I know many autistic people do), but the few that I've attended have been really loud (mostly from music) and overstimulating even with hearing protection. As a horny person who has trouble with loud noise, I feel like I'm SOL. I'd like to put on a sensory-friendly sex party (sry, no better word), but have no idea where to start. How could I go about this?

This is a great idea! I'd really hit the local Fetlife groups and local Munches for the next couple of months, chatting people up and gauging interest. Since you've been invited to sex parties before, that suggests you're already fairly well plugged into the community or know how to become plugged in in the area where you currently are, so do a bit of that for a while, and if it's a big enough scene, ask if people might be interested in a neurodivergent-friendly munch or meetup first. Maybe outside in a quiet natural area or at a really low-key cafe that's affordable and not crowded and where using stim toys or knitting/playing board games/etc is all normal to see.

Getting people to turn out to a sex party and be a good time definitely requires a little bit of social lubricating for a while first, if only so that you know who you want to invite and who sucks and might make people uncomfortable.

Check out local queer spaces too -- here there's a sober cafe that holds lots of evening events for LGBTQ people who don't drink, and that tends to attract a lot of neurodivergent folks and sensory sensitive people as well. Some of them might be way to vanilla for a sex party but there's always a few genuine phreaks out there. Events and groups at a local LGBTQ center or the like can also work, or just other recurring community spaces that attract a lot of queer people. Local Meetup.com groups for Adult Autistics would be a good place to look around, too.

Once you've gotten the chance to suss out who might be cool within a variety of little pockets of your local communities, then you're ready to organize it and make the ask! I think a good sex party can't be too open-invite, especially when you want to control the experience from an accessibility perspective. But by the time you are inviting someone in this case, you've met them probably multiple times, know one another on social media (or at least Fet), and know that they're neurodivergent or into the idea of a sensory-friendly sex party, and so you'll have a good idea that they're a good fit.

I'm sure you've already envisioned how you want this party to go -- low lights, quiet down rooms, soft music, etc. I'd also consider having some kind of wristband system that allows people to communicate how they want to be engaged with -- green meaning go ahead and come up to me and inititiate/touch me, yellow meaning ask first for anything, red meaning leave me alone i'm just here to watch for now, or whatever. Probably make people put stickers on their cameras. Etc.

Good luck out there and let me know how it goes! I promise this isn't that huge of an undertaking. I know I probably made it sound like a lot, but it's really just popping up at a variety of events for a little bit and trying to find the Autistic weirdos and friend them.

[fortpeat]

I'm back again

This was actually part of my previous ask but it was way off topic lol

With regards to the NC scenes and the reactions it's getting from some people: If I'm not mistaken, the same thing happened with lita when they got a little braver in the special episode. Suddenly we had to protect the artists' reputation like they weren't physically doing the things themselves?????? Makes me wonder about the actual ages of the people taking issue with it because as an adult, you should know exactly what other adults may or may not be getting up to

With regards to non-fans having a problem: I think people will always have something to say about queer media especially when the queer media is coming from mame. Even when it comes to just media from mame, people are much harder on her takes than most writers. They want the saucy and raunchy scenes but just not from mame which is so weird. Also as someone who has watched almost everything mame has made, I just don't understand how people act like mame is the only writer to use trauma as a plot device. I'm not saying it's not possible to have a love story with no trauma (we love those over here!) but writers use trauma in varying levels in their stories all the time but mame seems to get the loudest flack. Maybe people are writing think pieces on other directors as well but I've personally only seen these responses directed to or about mame so I thought I would add my 2 cents

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day💕

Well hello again 🥰❤️

Mame gets a lot of hatred for her writing and tbh I don't understand why tho if they want fluffy stories then they can go look for it elsewhere I don't understand why they have to make themselves suffer by watching her content and then spewing hatred everywhere like people get a life and enjoy some sunshine !!! I am very picky with my shows and the only two I have seen of Mame are Love Sky and Love Sea and that's also coz of Fortpeat and they have delivered her stories in the most beautiful spectacular way.

Now I am sure that there are people out there who appreciates Mame's stories coz it makes them feel seen like so many people have with Love Sky. It's just sometimes negativity gets more spotlight than the positive parts 🥺🥺

I wonder if these same people would have issues if this was a straight couple content coz this feels like erasure of queer media you know which is awful coz the queer community has been shut down for so long it's time for them to be loud and proud.

Especially Thai queer media when they are so close to getting their same sex marriage into a law ! Like come on people now is the time to be loud about these things rather than policing about what should and shouldn't be posted ! It it makes you so uncomfortable them block the people who are posting it and go about your way rather than trying to make people feel ashamed about expressing their love!

[saphira-approves]

Alright buckle up y’all, I’ve got a book series recommendation and propaganda under the cut for any fans of the Inheritance Cycle.

If you read our beloved farmboy-turned-dragon-rider books and had a particular fondness for: the idea of an order of individuals chosen to be both partner and rider to powerful and beautiful magical creatures; Snowfire; an immortal evil that resurfaces in disguised and unexpected forms (specifically referencing the Draumar cult which we now know had influence in Galbatorix’s rise to power); and/or the juicy juicy drama of complicated parent-child relationships, then oh boy do I have a recommendation for you.

Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series, comprising of many, MANY individuals novels, trilogies, and short story anthologies. I don’t currently have a count for the exact total of published books, as I’ve been getting most of these from my local secondhand bookstore, but she’s been publishing these books since 1987 and is still writing them today in 2024.

Since this is such a huge collection, it can be hard to know where to start, so first of all I’d like to assure you that you can start pretty much anywhere, with any of the individual novels or series, so long as you make sure to find the first installment of that series. Personally I started with The Black Gryphon, which seems to be one of the chronologically earliest books; Arrows of the Queen of the Heralds of Valdemar trilogy would also be a good place to start, being the first published Valdemar book, though I haven’t actually read it yet—I only just got my copy today, actually!

At any rate, wherever you start, there’s a lot to look forward to. Lackey has a knack for writing characters with depth and complexity, giving them flaws that are so well balanced by endearments that even at their worst, you can still understand and empathize with them; she absolutely refuses to write idiot-plots, allowing her characters not only to remain consistent with their established characterizations, but also to communicate with each other and allow their relationships to evolve as the characters do. Characters are allowed to make mistakes, be vain and stubborn and prideful, get angry, get jealous, get scared, and yet afterward still be received with love and forgiveness when they apologize. The magic is beautifully described and, at least for me, easy to understand; the schemes are clever, diabolical, and exciting to watch unfold. There is true, pure evil in the villains, and satisfaction in their endings.

There’s also a decent amount of diversity, which may or may not be surprising, depending on what you’ve read of 80s/90s SFF. Of the handful of books I’ve read so far, here are my observations: Lackey writes fantastic and complex women full of depth, emotion, and ingenuity, each as different from each other as their backgrounds would demand. There are several canonically queer characters across the timeline, including a main protagonist. Lackey’s worldbuilding establishes several unique and disparate cultures, drawing clear influence from many non-European real life sources, with featured characters of those cultures given, in my opinion, respectful and appreciative spotlights. There are characters with disabilities, respected both by the narrative and the characters around them. There are also non-human cultures, characters, and protagonists!

As fantastic as I have been finding these books, it would be remiss of me not to add that these books will not be for everyone. They are firmly adult fantasy, and Lackey does not pull her punches when she wants her characters to suffer. There is torture, sexual assault, suicide. Not all of this is graphically described, but some certainly is; most of the graphic stuff I have so far read is of about the same intensity as the torture scenes of Inheritance, but some of the abstractions are much more intense, and I get the sense that some of what I haven’t yet read may be both graphic and visceral. That being said, if you could handle Game of Thrones’ graphic violence and assault but disliked the persistent pessimism of that series, this one might be right up your alley!

Anyway. That’s all from me for now. I’m off to go read about characters bonding with magical creatures somewhat beyond mortal ken and going on fantastic and harrowing magical adventures. :)

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: The Bad Buddy Rewatch Edition, Part 3a -- BBS and Asian Cultural Touchpoints

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I offer the first half of the third (ha!) of five posts on Bad Buddy. I'll look today at themes that myself and fellow Asian fans of Bad Buddy have caught and related to in this wonderful show.]

Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4

As a lifelong viewer of Asian dramas, and as an Asian-American myself, I know why I'm drawn to Asian dramas. We all have our reasons for belonging to this widespread fandom, whether you're watching queer or het Asian dramas, consuming Asian music, all of it.

What are my reasons? The first and foremost one is relatability. Especially in Asian dramas, I relate to the spoken and unspoken communication of the dramatic characters as they navigate life's highs and lows. I relate to the way Asian dramatic characters engage with their families, their partners, their children, their colleagues, the world and societies around them. I relate to the ways in which societies are drawn and constructed, to the economic and emotional pressures that characters face. As an American -- I don't fully relate to the majority of experiences that white American characters face dramatically, because I'm not a part of the majority. As an Asian? I get almost all of what Asians are going through in dramatic art (save for, say, Korean or Japanese historicals, ha — but I do indeed get Asian patriarchy and sexism).

I'm not queer -- I am a cishet Asian woman -- but what I appreciate about queer Asian media is, very often, the media's tendency to not be shy about the various and intricate ways that discrimination, sexism, trauma (intergenerational, emotional, etc.), and many more social and emotional phenomena interplay in an individual's life.

When I first watched Bad Buddy, I had the strong sense that what I was watching was incredibly relatable to much of my upbringing and life as a young adult, working out issues vis à vis my family and my eventual partner. Bad Buddy, thematically, captured a tremendous amount of the realities of everyday Asian life for young people.

Bad Buddy exists in the GMMTV bubble of No Homophobia (cc @bengiyo and @lurkingshan, as we have spoken about the GMMTV bubble). However, what Bad Buddy didn't shy away from were explorations of many other social/emotional/cultural themes and frameworks of everyday life, from sexism, to youth bias, to boundaries and enmeshment, and many, many more.

I wrote in my first-ever Bad Buddy thesis that the framework of intergenerational trauma was the main theme I identified -- and identified with -- in the show. But, as I was contemplating writing this series of Bad Buddy meta posts, I wanted to know: what did my fellow Asians pick up in this show that they saw, and that they related to? In other words: what makes Bad Buddy particularly special to Asian fans of the show?

So, I did a thing. I gathered together a few BBS Asian stans, like myself, for a lengthy (and still ongoing!) discussion about what we related to in Bad Buddy. I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, @telomeke, @grapejuicegay, @recentadultburnout, @neuroticbookworm, and @lurkingshan (who's not Asian, but has Asian relatives, and gets us!) for being up for creating a spontaneous mini-village together to talk Bad Buddy and its inherent Asianness.

It sounds redundant to identify Bad Buddy, a show made by Thais and set in Thailand, as an "Asian" or "Thai" show. It's definitely not a show that steps back to take a look at itself and say, "oh hey, this is really 'Thai,' what we're doing here." When I asked @recentadultburnout directly about what they might have identified as uniquely Thai about Bad Buddy, RAB thought about it and said -- maybe Pat's ranak ek (Thai xylophone). Other shows of Aof Noppharnach's, including He's Coming To Me, Moonlight Chicken, and even the start of Last Twilight, highlight many facets of Thai life, from the spiritual to the everyday-cultural (even Gay OK Bangkok does this a bit, too). But Bad Buddy doesn't really go there by way of overt symbolism and/or specifically Thai spiritual/cultural practice.

The Asianness of Bad Buddy is far more inherent. It is rooted and coded in the way people interact with each other.

An overt example occurs in episode 10, when Dissaya confronts Ming in the Jindapat home, and announces that she will reveal Ming's secret, dropping the effort she has made her entire life to "save face" -- her reputation AND Ming's reputation.

During my first Bad Buddy rewatch, I was so moved in fury by this scene that I had to blog about it as if I had never seen it before. There's so much encapsulated in this moment: the pressure that Dissaya has put on herself to keep the embarrassing secret that she lost a scholarship; the effort she made to keep Ming's theft of the scholarship a secret, to save his face, and the secrets she kept from Pran to save her face, and to keep up the façade of rivalry between the Jindapats and the Siridechawats. She was letting a whole hell of a lot loose in this moment, because the eternal pressure of saving face in Asian societies is, frankly, never-ending.

"Saving face" is an incredibly important notion in many Asian collectivist cultures. Saving face is about an individual or a family projecting an image of calm, cool collectedness and success, in order to not make waves within a collectivist society for any reason. If you are not working to seem like you are going with the flow of life, if you're not keeping up with the Joneses, the Kardashians, whoever -- you are not saving face. If you are in poverty, and are projecting an image of poverty, instead of pretending to be more wealthy than you are -- you are not saving your face or your family's face. If you allow yourself to get publicly defeated -- you are not saving face. Dissaya gave up a lot of her hard-earned reputation in the moment she confessed the truth in front of Pat and Pat's mother.

My Asian friends and I can click wordlessly into understanding the pressure of saving face; say that I didn't get good grades in school? I wouldn't be saving my parents' face. This kind of pressure to keep up with particular social dynamics within and external to family, within Asian societies, is a neverending drumbeat of pressure.

Besides saving face, there are many other Asian cultural touchpoints that were contained within Bad Buddy that my fellow Asian BBS stans and I noted. They include:

1) intergenerational/inherited trauma, 2) the unique nature of secret-keeping in Asian cultures/societies, 3) enmeshed family boundaries, 4) setting up children to compete against each other for the sake of familial pride, 5) patriarchy, sexism, and the reversal of sexism among next generations, 6) the inset/assumed roles of family members based on patriarchy and elder respect, 7) Assumed community within and external to one's family, usually based on where you live and where you go to school, 8) How one's identity is defined based on patriarchy and individualist vs. collectivist cultures, 9) How various cultures within an Asian nation live peacefully (or not) together (for example, what makes Pat and Pran different by way of Pat's Thai-Chinese heritage vs. Pran's ethnic Thai heritage),

and many, many more.

It'll be impossible, even over two posts, to analyze all of these cultural touchpoints, but a few of them engendered quite a bit of conversation among the BBS mini-village that I want to highlight. In this post, I'll focus on the continuation of my first BBS thesis on intergenerational/inherited trauma, the nature of secret-keeping in Asian societies, and will return briefly to the touchpoint of saving face.

One of the most devastating scenes for me in Bad Buddy is in my favorite episode, episode 10, when Pat (after he's learned, throughout the episode, of the extent of the lies that his and Pran's family have shared with their children) confronts his father about his father's demands to literally control Pat's emotions, the way in which Pat related to other people -- specifically Pran. Pat sums up a lifetime's worth of control in one sentence.

@telomeke noted in our ongoing group conversation that this notion of inherited trauma vis à vis Ming is particularly present in Asian societies, not just by way of familial expectation that we, as Asians, embody it and "take it" throughout our generations, as Pat realized up above -- but that ALL family members present are responsible for playing their roles within the framework of the inherited trauma. @telomeke noted in particular that exactly what Pat was doing to hate Pran, FOR his father? That was what Ming HAD to do for MING'S dad, when Ming schemed to get the scholarship from Dissaya. AND, Pat's mother, in consoling Pat, had to play the role of explainer -- which, as we know now, Pat ran away from to meet his beloved Pran on the rooftop before running away to the eco-village.

Pat running away from that moment? That was a huge symbol of the breaking of the inherited trauma that was given unto him by his parents both.

(@telomeke has actually written about their theory about how the Jindapats and Siridechawats ended up living next door to each other -- which seems SO STRANGE on the surface, consider Ming's and Dissaya's boiling hatred for each other -- and the theory links nicely within the framework of inherited trauma. Tel theorizes that Ming's father or grandfather may have actually gifted the house to Dissaya's family as a means of apologizing for Ming's deceit. In which case: the presence of the Siridechawats is a reminder, on an everyday basis, of Ming's folly to steal from Dissaya, which may explain why Ming in particular went so hard on Pat to triumph daily over Pran.)

We as a group unwound quite a bit on the nature of secret-keeping in Asian cultures. We know Bad Buddy relies on this cultural touchpoint at the end of the series: Pran and Pat have a full-fledged and committed relationship as a transparent secret, under the noses of Pat's and Pran's parents.

Secret-keeping....oh, man. I could not have lived a fully authentic life in America if I didn't keep a million secrets from my family while I was living out my own independent choices. I actually, literally, could not have gotten married, because the rule of my household was that I wouldn't date. I would just... get engaged. So I'd get engaged through, what, magic? Match-making? No: I'd have to find my partner through my own battle of social and familial conventions, literally against my family, to get to where I wanted to be in life, which was (gasp) married.

@neuroticbookworm illuminated more on this particularly from our shared Indian lens. She wrote,

Keeping your relationship secret from parents is sooooo ridiculously common in India (and I'm sure we can extrapolate to other Asian countries like Thailand). And the justification the children give themselves is always rooted in how they have a "duty" towards their parents, and that they will reveal their relationship after they have fulfilled their duties.

God, I LOVED that NBW brought up "duty" in this conversation. Because! Assumed within the coded language from Asian parents to children, and vice versa, is a sense that children MUST follow the dictates of their parents. 100%, full-stop.

The duties that NBW clarified in this particular conversation specified life demarcations such as "[w]hen I graduate, I'll tell my parents about my partner," and "[w]hen I graduate and get a job and can financially support myself in life, I'll tell my parents about my partner."

What's coded in these statements is a fear that the children will have to reveal to their parents that they were disobedient in the rules their parents set, that no dating shall occur until the time at which the parents rule it's okay. And at least within Indian frameworks, that period of it being "okay" is, more often than not, the period in which arranged matches are examined. Because, yes, that's still the rule in the high majority of Indian culture.

The revelation of that disobedience? That's bad-news bears. It indicates... everything: a lack of loyalty to the family; a lack of understanding the meaning of a child's role to listen to the parents as the parents are elders and therefore are the moral authority of the household; a lack of self-control (which is a huge deal -- that relates to saving face on behalf of the family); a lack of understanding the morals and ethics of saving oneself, in love and sex, before marriage, etc. Even if a family seems fully progressive on the outside, as an Asian, I'm conditioned to question that progressiveness -- as parents may hold different standards of acceptance for their children vs. other young people.

@telomeke expanded on disobedience for us -- connecting it back to the very important notion of "saving face."

I think there's something quite related to secret-keeping, but it's also to do with the ability of Asians, but also human beings in general, of being able to live with duality in life... and secret-keeping is part of it. This also ties in to the East and Southeast Asian preoccupation with the concept of "saving face" [as noted above]. A lot of families are able to live with the knowledge of dirty secrets, unsavory truths, as long as it's not brought into the light and confronted. I'm constantly reminded of this whenever I rewatch BBS Ep. 12 because it's clear both Ming and Dissaya KNOW their sons are in a relationship but it's not overtly admitted. In that way they (and more Ming I suppose) get to "save face" and not have to deal with the truth that their sons are being disobedient, consorting with the enemy, and because it's not in the open -- there is no dishonor brought to the family and to the elders.

God, I love the way Tel put this. That disobedience on the part of Pran and Pat would actually bring dishonor to their families -- because their families have put SO MUCH EFFORT into building their public AND private enmity their entire lives! It affected Chai's relationship with the families as an employee of both families. EVERYONE AT PAT'S AND PRAN'S SCHOOLS knew the guys were the "legendary rivals." And, of course, by being in rival faculties at the same university, the boys could continue this public enmity as well -- keeping up with the roles that were literally assigned to them by their parents.

If the boys disobeyed, they would bring dishonor to their families. Think about that -- and connect that with the heaviness that Pran walked away with after the rooftop kiss in episode 5, AND the weight of Pran's breakdown at the end of episode 10, when Pat assured him that they would run away together.

No matter what a Western viewer (and maybe even Asian viewers, wanting to see a dismantling of these paradigms) would want Pat and Pran to have by way of full openness of their relationships with everyone in their lives (because, in individualistic cultures, that self-driven openness is a given), Pran and Pat themselves knew that that couldn't be their reality vis à vis the social worlds they belonged to. So they kept their relationship a secret, in the end.

The secret that Pran and Pat keep about their relationship is strategic. It's certainly also a stress point: an older Pat asks an older Pran, at the end of episode 12, if he'll ever be able to walk through the front door of the Siridechawat house.

But this is the compromise -- within the larger-scale culture of secret-keeping in Asian societies, AND the private frameworks of the enmity that Dissaya and Ming established between themselves and their families years and years prior -- that will work best for Pat and Pran to preserve the sanctity of their relationship, which I talked about in part 2 of this meta series.

Pran and Pat do not have to publicly appear disobedient to the demands and pressures of their families. They do not have to make their families engage with each other. They do not have to make their families confront the mistakes that their parents made earlier in their lives. They can protect their families from their private and public follies. They can help their families keep and save face. And by doing all that? They can prevent their relationship from being threatened.

I feel this very deeply in my heart as an Asian-American. For the sake of my American spouse, I wanted to protect him from a lot of these pressures, and so I insisted on keeping a lot of our relationship secret from my folks. If I demanded full-blown, public acceptance from my parents? If I brought my "boyfriend" to parties, and introduced him as such with aunties and uncles -- especially if it wasn't indicated that we'd be permanent one day? Damn. No. I'd be embarrassing my folks, with the aunties and uncles saying to my folks, "dang, you can't control your daughter, huh? You let her do what she wants." That would mean my parents would lose face over their ability to control the lives of their children, and that's no bueno in our cultural terms. It would be on ME, as THEIR child, to uphold THEIR ability to save face, as much as its their own work.

Dissaya refers DIRECTLY to Pran doing this FOR HER when, in episode 10, she asks him, "did you forget to save my reputation?" It's brutal, daily work. And Pran goes BACK to keeping secrets in the end, because it would have been impossible, ultimately, for Dissaya to save face, AND for Pran to save Dissaya's reputation/face, if Pran were out with his relationship with Pat, thus proving his disobedience. It would be -- JUST -- better to keep the secret for all those involved.

As this post has gotten long, I'm going to continue talking more about these touchpoints in a second post. I'm driven to talk about this because I think much of the Western fandom might miss what us Asians are reading into shows like Bad Buddy through this coded language and engagement. I very much posit that Bad Buddy -- while it is first and foremost a queer show, made by queer Asians, about queer young men -- is so relatable to so many of us because we've faced similar struggles of survival, and we've faced threats to the sanctity of the love we have for other people by way of needed to fit into the roles set before us by previous generations.

So! With that, thank you for reading, and see you tomorrow, when I focus on competition, enmeshed family boundaries, patriarchy and sexism in Bad Buddy, and more if I can fit it in!

(Tagging @dribs-and-drabbles, @solitaryandwandering, and @wen-kexing-apologist by request! If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know!)

[Alright! Stay tuned for more, many more ruminations from the BBS Asian station tomorrow!

Here's the status of the Old GMMTV Challenge watchlist. Tumblr's web editor loves to jack with this list, so mosey on over to this link for the very latest version!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (The BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series is ongoing: preamble here, part 1 here, part 2 here, more reviews to come) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (on pause for La Pluie) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here)  43) Wedding Plan (2023)  44) Only Friends (2023) (tag here)]

[arafergirl-artdump]

(ENG) Queer and Neurodivergent community around Nintendo (an Essay)

(Was peer reviewed by native English speaker!)

Let me start with a little backstory. I talked with someone when I learned they were neurodivergent. I was surprised because of my own reasons, but they said their friends who were interested in Miis/Nintendo were queer and/or neurodivergent. This became a kickstarter for this.

First of all, hey, I'm queer and neurodivergent! My identity in details doesn't matter right now.

This was interesting because my hyperfixation for nintendo was the fastest hyperfixation i ever diveloped, now it’s DJ Yellow and Student, who is from Nintendo game. I got my switch in 2020-2021 with Animal Crossing and Just Dance, my first ever Nintendo console and first games respectively, so I have little to no personal history with it, even watching gameplay didn't make me interested in it. Yet, I still got into it. So I want to understand why it happened.

Before I'll start: It’s heavily based on me and my experience. Of course, I DON'T speak for every queer and ND person who is interested in Nintendo with my limited sources and knowledge. Also, it’s NOT a sientific research, i will use things from psychology, but it doesn't make me a specialist in it, which i don’t.

Neurodiversity

I think it’s easier for me to explain. I planned to talk about console design first, but I think most people know that Nintendo isn’t really competing with Xbox or Playstation, so of course it's consoles will be different. Well, most people aren't interested in consoles themselves! It’s games! And here’s the kicker.

Of course, big companies like this will be hiring good character designers, any company would. But there is something interesting I found in only nintendo games.

For me, it’s how much they use vivid colors. Well, Nintendo consoles are targeted to Family auditory, so of course it should appeal for kids and adults. But Nintendo games use those 

colors in every game they create, no matter of style or targeted audience.

Well, of course just having vivid characters doesn’t automatically make it appeal for neurodivergent people. But how they’re using it.

I’ll be using examples from Rhythm Heaven not only because of my hyperfixation/special interest/whatever this is on it, but also because it's a pretty good game to show my point.

There's an interesting thing about those covers. They are vivid, have a lot of details and colors, but it’s not overwhelming. Of course it’s not, there’s professionals who work on those games. Still, pretty rare to see that much details (i’ll return to it later)

Games themselves have much less details, of course, if there was the same amount of details as covers, it was impossible to play, but colors are still vivid and… Hey. The picture is moving.

In short: I think that Rhythm Heaven (and other Nintendo games) are pretty good visual stim. Well, of course everything that moves can be used as a visual stim, but let me try to prove things about covers.

I have 4 physical copies of Nintendo Switch games, two of them are by Nintendo.

There's proof. Let’s compare it.

Both covers are definitely detailed, Just Dance has levitating things, patterns on the floor (?) and list or songs, Layton has minigames, characters and this big diamond. But it’s not enough. There’s nothing really to pop up, no visual path. Those details not feels like they’re connected with each other.

Animal Crossing and WarioWare, on the other hand, have this. ACNH has a visual path made out of characters, Warioware has sort of barriers. Also there’s a lot of items on the ACNH cover like woods, lamp, flowers, fish, ect. WarioWare has filters and action lines over it (also can be a visual barrier). All elements have some sort of connection: Tom Nook goes to players, villager is close to Tommy, from villager to C.J., and from C.J. to Issablelle and villager talking. Wario is close to the character, so some sort of connection is here. Also, they are still vivid.

(Of course, it doesn’t mean that every non-Nintendo game doesn’t have the same rules or use them! One of my favorite game is Katamari, that is originally was playstation game)

Even in the Wii period with gray shaders, it didn't made vividness more dull.

(About Miis later)

Queerness

There’s a bit of a complicated thing. Now, there’s a bit of representation that may bring some queers here, but it happened very recently, with DLC for Splatoon 3 “Side Order”, Where appears character Acht, that goes by they/them pronouns and uses “Boku”, written in katakana, “Boku” being masculine version of “I”, that’s also being using by tomboys and gender nonconforming people. (I can’t say if this is specifically katakana or just used like that, but i started using it before this DLC so i guess it might be a katakana thing). Also, nothing beside their pronouns is explicitly queer, so it can't be this reason (at least until recently). Also I think they wouldn’t risk being banned entirely in some countries just to have one character (Hello from Russia!), but there’s coding.

If you don’t know - Coding is when you hint that a character has some trait, usually with design, personality and manners, but don’t show it explicitly. There’s some queer-coded characters in the history of Nintendo, but if i’ll list them all, it’ll be too long. Let’s just say - There’s a lot of Fire Emblem accusations, Birdo, C.J. and Flick, DJ Yellow and Student (of course i should put them everywhere!) and Pearl and Marina, who seems to be canonized and at the same time not.

There’s also stereotypes, of course, like Gracie, who in the Japanese version was presented as a crossdresser man or trans woman. I can understand why it was changed in American and European releases, but really, I wouldn't mind sassy character in new AC game, especially with the rising popularity of such.

Also, I can assume that one of the reasons is character’s that you create become more androgynous, like the difference between inkling boy and inkling girl is almost non existent, especially in splatoon 3. Octolings got the same privilege in Side Order. By the way, about creations…

Mii

Mii’s have no visible differences between genders. Of course, it would be strange and cost-y, but still. Also, there’s no gender lock features. Also, in both versions, you can change anything about your Mii, even gender! Eh? Eh? See what I did here? Uh, nevermind. I thought it was funny.

I can also add neurodivergent and visual stim part, colors are vivid and, well, it gives a lot of creative creation, so you can do faces of neurodivergent people with different face structure (it’s probably have no sense in brouder meaning, i talked about down syndrome, as i know it’s considered neurodivergent. Maybe there’s something else, but i don’t know)

There’s nothing I can say about games. Occasional crossdressing in japanese version of tomodachi life and randomized dialogues isn’t really do anything, maybe one dream where two same-sex Miis can be in the end of a red string and that relationship meter in Miitopia may have some points about queerness, but there’s nothing more about ND thing.

Conclusion of this chapter: Miis are more fruity than got that tism.

Conclusion

There’ll be a lot of my experience.

I still think I haven't come to my main reason yet. I think that the main reason why queer and neurodivergent people are in Nintendo games is because they are safe. What I mean by this is in mainline games, there’s no oppression towards the player. Like Animal Crossing, a game literally about making friends.

When I got this game, I was yet to see social isolation and bullying. Even when it started happening, I was into this game, well, I was addicted. I can be pretty easily attached to someone, so when I had no friends, I was just thinking of villagers as my friends. I just was… comfortable in its world, welcomed even. It was a world where people cared and weren’t judgemental to me. I had this feeling even with games without a player as the main character. Maybe I just got insane, who knows.

Of course I can't speak for everyone, but let’s be real, some of you may have experienced this feeling too. Positive world with absurd problems, where nobody is gonna be mad about if your features would’ve changed or you act differently. In the process of writing this I had a thought that this may be why Animal Crossing’s mean characters were less mean in NH. Just a thought.

It’s funny in some way, if you think about it.

I don’t know how to end it, so let’s end here. I hope I wasn't too much of a mad theorist.

[stocious]

weekly tag game! thank you macy @heymacy for tagging me! 🖤

name: kakakaka

age: 33 (that's me screaming the the distance)

where in the world are you? swedenland.

how tall are you? 160cm which is... 5'3 in freedom units?

what color are your eyes? blue.

what’s something that frightens you? gonna agree with macy - the passage of time. also the deep water. i'm a very bad swimmer.

do you have children? if not, do you want any? no and i don't know and it's stressing me tf out, moving right along children.

are you the eldest, middle, youngest, or only child? youngest of two, 6 years apart.

what time do you usually wake up? 11am. i'm so eepy.

relationship status? i've had a fella for like 6 years now.

do you identify as a member of the queer community? no. yes. maybe. i don't know. (help).

any tattoos/piercings? 2 non-ear piercings and a whole buncha tattoos.

something you love: pocket pals! 🫂

something you hate: tomatoes. sorry ian.

do you have any pets? no :(

do you have a license/can you drive? hell yeah and i drive like i stole the car, the gas and the license, watch out.

if you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? these are not the best years of your life, don't worry.

and finally, something people would be surprised to know about you: i might have a whole buncha tattoos but the one i like the most is the little tiny heart on my finger and i feel absolutely ridiculous about it. i mean my sleeve cost more than my car. whoops. (someone take away my adult monies)

tags below the cut!

@creepkinginc @transmurderbug @transmickey @jrooc @lee-ow

@spacerockwriting @blue-disco-lights @mybrainismelted @sgtmickeyslaughter @mickeym4ndy

@roryonic @deathclassic @ian-galagher and anyone else! 🫂🖤