#and now they joke about fucking

[jula483]

kinda crazy how in just few years they went from:

if we were ever gonna kiss it would be on a camping trip

to

if we ever had sex it would be on a plane

[drenched-in-sunlight]

i love the DLC man

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

��🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

[words-writ-in-starlight]

listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN

I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.

I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

anyways. What

[itslilacokay]

nahhh bro 💀💀💀💀

[dykedvonte]

Daisuke inadvertently calling Swansea fat is so funny cause you can tell he genuinely felt some way about it. The pause, asking Curly for the axe. I believe Daisuke gives the most diabolical and unintentional reads to all of them and like they can’t even say anything rude back cause like he was trying to be nice and helpful.

[yourlocalabomination]

I am not immune to funny crackships.

+ Bonus

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

all this to say: i think it'd be cute if Barnaby literally howls with laughter

[horsegirlhob]

Spike absolutely haunts Riley I fucking know it

[egophiliac]

Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it

hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS

PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:

unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal

the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing

has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again

(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)

based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?

has canonically worn Dad Shorts

CONS:

(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)

NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties

despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)

currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything

Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family

???:

turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess

all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!

[art-from-the-juice-box]

wonderlust stuff :]

[beautifulstorms]

Yuna Aoki, SP Adios Nonino • Skate America 2024

[dendroaspis-viridis]

I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...

[alexandraisyes]

The cutest reminder ever that the way family works in TSAMS canon is that two parties have to be in mutual agreement that they are family. If one party doesn't agree then they aren't family. Parties can revoke familial ties whenever they want and that means they are no longer family.

"Code Relation" theory is stupid because you're then implying that Eclipse is Sun and Moon's child. Which he isn't. Or that Killcode is somehow Moon's child and his brother at the same time that he's Eclipse, Lunar and Bloodmoon's "father" at the same time that they're Sun and Moon's grand children. Like, we're seeing the issue here, right?

Don't make things more complicated than it has to be. Just accept the fact that family is literally determined by a verbal agreement between two animatronics and nothing else because none of them were born from wombs. That means respecting canon when characters in canon decide that they aren't comfortable being family (like Eclipse) or just straight-up disown everyone (like Bloodmoon). It's okay to have headcanons, but don't try to push them onto canon.

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice AU where Golden Cheese is sent back in time to when Burning Spice was still a hero (how? By Timekeeper. Why? Who knows? Maybe Timekeeper wanted to actually help people for once, albeit in this extremely convoluted and unconventional way. Maybe she was just bored and wanted to mess with time and people again. Maybe both. Who knows...)

Burning Spice is still beloved by the world as the Herald of Change, and by the Wild Spices as their strong, boisterous and kind-hearted leader. He finds her lost and confused (and far beyond angry) in the middle of Wild Spice territory by chance (or did Timekeeper drop her in at the right place and time on purpose?) and not only is he instantly moved to help her out of a genuine sense of altruism... but he's instantly smitten with her, too. So captivated is he by both her beauty and her personality, even while the latter manifests as "harsh" and "paranoid" when they first meet, that it's practically love at first sight.

So now Golden Cheese is stuck living amongst the ancient Wild Spices while she tries to figure out how to return to when and where she came from. She is also stuck dealing with Burning Spice on a regular basis, who now spends every moment of free time he gets by her side, pestering her (in her eyes). He's up front about his feelings and how he wants to court her, and does not relent even after she rebuffs him repeatedly ("doesn't take no for an answer" is a core personality trait of his across all time, apparently).

There she is, trapped in the distant past, completely alone save for the Wild Spices who are kind enough to take her in, desperately racking her brain day in and day out for a way to get back home, all while the man she'd previously only known as a threat to her and to the world at large is not only an unironically good person here and now, but is actively hitting on her every chance he gets.

Maybe she eventually calms down and learns to open up and get along with these people while she's there; she's stranded until further notice, she might as well (and they're so warm and friendly in this time; so unlike what she knows them to be in the future...). Maybe she realizes that she could perhaps change the future - even save it, if she dares to dream - by somehow stopping Burning Spice's descent into villainy before it happens.

...Maybe she ends up liking Burning Spice quite a bit, because it turns out he can be very charming when he's not behaving like a genocidal maniac. Not that she admits to that, at least for a while.

And maybe the Burning Spice in the future knows she's missing and does everything in his power to find out where (and when) she is, because he really will stop at absolutely nothing to have her and her Soul Jam in his grasp again.

This is, like, the 5th AU to infect my brain and it's the dumbest one so far. Send help and asks because I'm already trying to prep and cook stuff for this thing, and I want to hear what y'all think