#and now that i have all this info I should put it to use lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hwaslayer · 8 months ago

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wildfire (cs) | four.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 5.4k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, oc is getting whiplash from prof. choi's lab culture lmao, very vague/general descriptions of mice research work, prof. choi to the rescue fr, lots and LOTS of tension, yes i promise the ending counts as foreshadowing because shit will hit the roof in 5!!

A couple of days later, you and Sunwoo are finally putting the newly built behavior rig to use. A couple of days later, you find yourself becoming way too distracted by Professor Choi.

A couple of days later, Sunwoo is asking you to text your professor about some mice issues?

"Can you do me a favor?" Sunwoo pouts. "Pretty please?"

"What?" You tease and cross your arms.

"Can you take a picture and text it to Professor Choi? Ask him if it's okay to move forward with the vet's recommendations for the mice?"

"Text him?" Sunwoo looks at you and nods, flashing you Professor Choi's number on his own phone screen.

"We usually text him if it's something really urgent and needs his attention."

"You guys don't just do this in a Slack chat or something?"

"Trust me, he's probably the worst with Slack. I don't even think the guy has it downloaded on his phone so it's easily accessible." Sunwoo chuckles. "Y/N, I promise. It's fine. I'm not setting you up for trouble." You let out a small sigh and pull out your phone to take pictures. You're not really sure why you're hesitant, it definitely was a thing in Professor Bahng's lab, too. You're probably just used to the older cohorts of professors that required everything to be sent through email, Slack maybe. The new wave? Definitely a bunch of texters.

you: hi professor choi, this is y/n! i'm with sunwoo and he asked me to send this picture to you of one of our mice. the vet said he's really sick and we should go with a different treatment plan for it. it'll cost a little more if we do, but it should help get the mouse back on track. can we move forward?

San is paused mid-workout when he gets your text, sweat dripping down from his forehead when he zooms into the picture, analyzes a bit and lets out a sigh.

prof. choi: yes please!

you: got it!

prof. choi: could i trouble you and sunwoo to make sure there aren't any other sick mice?

you: of course! sorry about that. ☹️

prof. choi: all good, it happens! no need to apologize for anything. thank you. ☺️

prof. choi: also, can you have him charge it to our outreach account? he'll know and could probably pass along the finance info to you.

you: of course!

prof. choi: 😬

"He said it's fine and to charge it to the outreach account." Sunwoo raises his brow.

"He answered you already? I thought we'd have to make rounds in this room before he responded."

"Yeah?"

"Jeez, what's the trick? I feel like I have to bombard him sometimes."

"I literally just got here, I have no trick." You laugh.

"Sure." Sunwoo laughs and shrugs it off. "Anyway, sounds good! Thanks. Let's go take care of these mice and make sure the rest are fine."

"He said that, too."

"Figured! Always gotta be one step ahead of him. That's the only way to survive here." You laugh and follow Sunwoo deeper into the mice room, looking through the rest of the mice to make sure none of them are as sick. You help him wean a couple and split them into different cages, the last half of the walkthrough consisting of making sure everything else looks good. When you get back to the basement, you spend a bit of time helping Belle before starting on the first half of your behavior experiment with Sunwoo. It's a lot of work spent in a dark room, surrounded by bright computer lights— time moves quick, but your energy drains quicker.

When you finally catch a break after the past few hours of working alongside of Sunwoo, you wander down the halls to head to the bathroom and get a snack. You freshen up after relieving yourself, feeling a bit icky after being in a stuffy room, the stuffy basement, all afternoon. You prance over to the vending machine down the hall, grabbing some peanut m&ms to munch to satisfy your sweet tooth. Just as you turn the hall to walk back towards the office, Professor Choi walks out of one of the rooms, damn near colliding with you once again.

"Woah, hey. Sorry." He says, his arm out in case of any minor collisions.

"You're good, Professor Choi." He smiles, eyes shifting down to the bag of m&ms in your hand.

"Sweet tooth?"

"Need some sugar. Been cooped up with the rooms with Sunwoo."

"You're gonna take a break, right?"

"I will." You give him a toothless smile. "Sorry about texting you earlier. Sunwoo said it was fine, but I don't know. I still feel bad somehow." Professor Choi laughs before shaking his head.

"It really is fine, I promise you Y/N. Especially in that case. You can text or call me for emergency purposes." You pause, unsure how to respond. "I mean it."

"Okay, okay." You chuckle. "I will." He smiles at you before clutching his laptop close to his hip and checking his watch.

"Good. I'll see you later, gotta run off to prepare for this symposium with Professor Bahng."

"Symposium?"

"Mhm. He's leading one next month."

"Are you doing a talk?" He nods.

"Yeah unless he boots me out of the agenda for whatever reason." You giggle and shake your head. "You'll be there whenever it happens, right?"

"Yeah, of course. Can't miss that."

"Good answer." He smirks. "And Y/N?"

"Mhm?"

"Hope that's not gonna be dinner for you. Don't skip meals on me, please." You silently nod, waving him off before turning on your heel to head back to your desk.

That same evening, you have never been so grateful for having listened to a professor. It was such a tiny detail when Professor Choi told you to save his number for emergency purposes, and here you are experiencing said emergency purpose.

You were wrapping up your behavior experiment in one of the lab rooms, excited to finally leave the small room and the darkness behind. You had set your mice down on the cart, taking a few notes on an index card to jot into your lab notebook later on— which, you probably shouldn't have left your notebook in the office area in the first place. You needed to reference something mid-note-taking about the mouse's behavior, but you couldn't. When you decided to run out and grab your notes, the door handle flew off and locked you inside.

Fuck.

You tried your best not to panic, but the room felt like it was closing in on you with how small the space was. How dark the room was, felt like it was getting darker by the minute despite the computers giving off light in the far corners. Trapped between these behavior rigs and the gazillion computers, microscopes and lasers. There was no way to re-attach the handle, or so you couldn't see any possible way, and there was nothing that could help you unlock the door from the inside. The worse part of it all is that none of your texts or calls to Sunwoo are going through due to the sucky ass service in the basement, and you know he's busy doing some neuron culturing off in the wetlab room nearby.

He's definitely not checking his phone, and he's probably not going to check on you anytime soon.

Your mind immediately goes to Professor Choi next. It could be a long shot, but you decide to pace the room, hoping the call could go through at some point. This could be considered an emergency purpose, right? He wouldn't think you're silly for contacting him because of a door handle, no?

You definitely should save the facilities and security numbers, too.

"Hello?"

"Oh. Hi!" You're wide-eyed when the call actually goes through in this one spot of the room, Professor Choi's sultry, deep voice picking up on the other end.

"Hey Y/N. Everything alright?"

"Um, no? I'm kinda embarrassed to say this but I'm stuck in the W072 behavior room. The door knob inside flew off so I can't even open the door." He smiles to himself before letting out a small breath.

"Sorry, yeah. That door's been having major issues. I'll have to ask facilities what's going on with that. I'll be over in about 5 minutes."

"I'm so sorry. I really am embarrassed, I hope I'm not pulling you from—"

"You don't need to worry." He chuckles. "You're not pulling me away from anything. I could use the break anyway. Be there for you soon. Hang tight for me, hm?" You bite onto your bottom lip and nod as if he can see you.

"Mmkay. Thank you."

"You're welcome." And with that, the call ends. You're awkwardly sitting on the computer chair in the dark room, nothing but the sounds of computers whirring in the background; sounds of the mice scrambling around their cages, a little desk lamp and the computers the only source of light. You barely have service down here, and you're eternally grateful the call actually went through to Professor Choi's phone.

You'd be stuck here until Sunwoo decides to randomly pop in, if he randomly pops in. Until who fucking knows when, really.

Professor Choi arrives within that 5 minute mark, and he startles you by the way he swings the door open. He's wearing a Stussy shirt and jeans, sporting that same, dimpled smile of his that you're finding is becoming a weakness for you.

"Hey you." He says. "You okay?"

"Yeah, thank you." You stand, the broken door handle in hand. "Uh, I have this?" He laughs before wedging the small trash can in between the door frame and the door itself.

"Let me see." He says, gently taking the door handle from your hand. You watch from behind as he crouches down to see if he can temporarily re-attach the damn thing. I mean truthfully, he is also trying to look useful and attractive in front of you somehow. Even though he doesn't know what the fuck is going on. "Uh." He hums, making you giggle.

"Maybe you should leave it for facilities." He turns to you with a playful glare.

"Saying I can't fix it?"

"I mean, doesn't look like it." He playfully tuts and stands, setting the door handle aside. "We might both get stranded here."

"That wouldn't be too bad, now would it?" He looks at you with such a shit-eating smirk, it causes you to shy away and release eye contact before you break. "But, you're right. There are things I'm better off with and that's not fixing door handles." He pouts and you shake your head.

"We can't always be great at everything, Professor Choi." You tease.

"Yeah." He lets out a small laugh. "Were you finished in here?"

"Uh, yeah. I just need to put the mice away." You lazily point at the cart behind you with a few cages sitting on top.

"Let me help."

"Oh no, I promise, I'm okay."

"I wanna." He slips on some gloves and starts dragging the cart towards the opposite end of the behavior room where the mice are housed. They sit behind blackout curtains and on ventilated shelves, some sitting a bit higher up that require a small step-stool to reach. You start setting the cages into their open spots in the middle row, but the last three need to be placed on the very stop shelf. "Where do these guys go?"

"Up there." You point and he smiles, grabbing two of the cages for you.

"Got you. Careful, your head. I'm gonna reach over." He says from right behind you, his long arms reaching above to slip them into the open slots. You freeze, eyes watching him grab the last cage and slip it onto the shelf. "Good?" You turn to face him. He's still standing in the same position, not giving you much room to work with in this tiny corner.

"Mhm." You look up at him and god, does he like looking at you from this angle. "Thank you, Professor Choi."

"You're welcome." He matches your soft tone. With how close you are, you can smell his cologne lingering in the air.

"You're always coming to my rescue."

"I don't mind. I'd do it again if I needed to." He ticks his head to the side. "Gotta give Sunwoo a little talk about not taking care of you properly."

"He's doing a very good job, I promise." You don't know what the hell comes over you, but you tap him against the chest lightly— and you almost lose it. First, out of embarrassment, but second, because of how firm his chest felt. You knew he worked out, but damn; you were wondering how well built and toned he actually was. He doesn't do anything, though. He's still looking at you with a small smile etched on his lips. You can tell he's having a slight internal debate on whether or not he should also tease and play around.

He knows he can't. Doesn't mean he won't.

"Oh yeah?" He starts as he steps a little closer to test the waters. His eyes are flicking across your features as if he's trying to study you and study you well. It's a bit obvious he's itching to do something— brush your hair back, put a hand on your waist. Something, anything—

"Yo, you all good in there?" You hear Sunwoo's voice at the door, causing you to abruptly step aside and wipe your sweaty palms down your pants. "Oh shit, woah! Professor Choi out in the wild! What's going on?" Sunwoo fully steps into the behavior room and places his hands on his hips, San giving off a hearty laugh at his comment.

"The door handle flew off." Is all you say while pointing at it sitting on the edge of the table. "I tried calling and texting you but none of them went through. Professor Choi had to come save me." Sunwoo nods nonchalantly. Luckily, it doesn't seem like he thinks anything is strange or odd. Definitely didn't catch you two being only inches away from each other, damn near pressed up against one another. You're curious as to what Professor Choi would've done next, and now, you may never know.

Welp.

"The hell did you do?" Sunwoo laughs. "Just started and already breaking things?" He teases.

"You know that door's been an issue since forever." San chimes in.

"I know, I'm just teasing." You roll your eyes. "Anyway, are you all good in here?"

"Mhm. I uploaded everything onto the server."

"Sweet. I'll take a look in a bit." You watch Sunwoo as he starts to leave the room, grabbing your notebook and laptop from the other table before following suit.

"Thank you again, Professor Choi." You give him a cute smile that he finds himself admiring, being last to leave the room.

"Of course, Y/N. I'll come save you any time you need me to." You let out a small laugh before shaking your head and catching up to Sunwoo. He bites onto his bottom lip as he sheds off his gloves and tucks his hands into his pockets, letting the both of you be as he heads back into his office. Once he's inside, he lets out a hefty sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose because fuck.

He needs to control himself better.

"Fuck." He finally says outloud, slightly stressed over you and those pretty eyes.

Pretty lips.

Pretty smile.

He plops back down onto his office chair, shaking off the thoughts before proceeding to check his inbox and review his final draft of the progress report. He needed to find any distraction right now; his thoughts, judgment even, slowly being clouded by you.

—FLASHBACK

"I think I'm getting this all wrong." You rest your head on the library table, reviewing your journal club presentation lazily.

"Why do you think that, Y/N? The way you interpret the paper is gonna make sense to the lab. Journal club is meant for you guys to build off of it and have a discussion." Jiung continues to work on his homework across from you.

"I know, I'm just nervous for some reason."

"Then just send your email to Professor Choi to see if he'll go over it with you. Give you peace of mind." You sigh.

"Yeah. He's probably gonna be so done with me after the past few days." Jiung snorts.

"Imagine if he hadn't saved you." His laugh grows. "How the fuck would you have gotten out?"

"I'd like to believe that Sunwoo would have at least checked on me." He nods.

"Yeah, maybe. Glad you're okay, though. What did Professor Choi say?" You shrug, completely [and obviously] leaving out the details about the close moments you've had with him.

"Nothing. He just came to get me and that was it." Jiung nods silently, giving you the opportunity to type away on Outlook to send Professor Choi an email.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Hi Prof. Choi, Do you have some time to go over the paper I chose for journal club on Monday? I just want to make sure I'm getting the format and processes right. Here's my presentation attached. Best, Y/N

You minimize the window and continue to work on other things, hoping you can meet with Professor Choi and talk about it soon—

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Sure! We can go over it tomorrow if you'd like? 11am good? - San

"He responded." Jiung hums as a response.

"Nice. What did he say?"

"We can meet tomorrow to go over it."

"See, that's good! I'm sure it'll be fine, but at least you can get Professor Choi's input for your first journal club." You nod.

"Yeah. Hopefully it is fine."

—END

You take your knuckles to the surface of Professor Choi's door, giving it a good two, three soft knocks before you hear a faint 'come in' from the other side. You swing the door open, finding Professor Choi diligently typing away as he sits at his desk. His brows are tightly knit together, and he's wearing a simple white button-up; but today, he's got black glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

"Hey Y/N." He says. "Sorry, give me a sec. I just need to respond to this email really quickly."

"No worries." You sit on the couch. "Take your time." His lips curve into a small smile just as he types away, then clicks to send it off.

"Alright. Hi." He smiles his usual, dimpled smile, black strands framing his forehead. "How's it going?"

"Good. How about you?"

"I'm alright, can't complain." He chuckles. "So, you wanted to talk about journal club? I checked your powerpoint and everything seemed fine. What's wrong?"

"I just feel like I'm not getting it right."

"Why do you think that way? You know, journal club is for us to discuss the paper as a lab. You don't have to get everything right, Y/N."

"But, still." You pout and San almost melts into a puddle in his seat. Fuck, he thinks. This is gonna be difficult. "I just wanna make sure I'm at least getting the process or the concept of the paper correct." Professor Choi stands and walks around his desk and it's your turn to internally lose it. He's got on black slacks but they fit him so well— his outfit fits him so well, you don't think you've ever seen someone built so.. perfectly.

"Wanna walk though it?" You barely hear the question as your eyes continue to [subtly] glaze over his figure, and he surely catches on.

How much more obvious can you be?

Well, how could he not know how attractive he is? Him and his friends are a consistent, hot topic on campus.

He's so damn fine. He knows it.

"Y/N?" He leans back against the edge of his desk, snapping you out of your thoughts. He's got a leg crossed over the other, arms crossed tightly against his chest. His head is tilted while he watches you, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his lips while you shift your eyes back up to meet his. You're sure you aren't seeing things. You're almost positive Professor Choi's subtly feeding into this, right? "Lost you there?"

"Yes. Sorry." You purse your lips together. "Got distracted."

"Hm." He hums, licking his lips. "Over what?"

"Nothing." You smile and shrug it off like it's nothing even though it clearly isn't. He knows, and he's not entirely mad about it one bit. It's a relief he's not the only one; question is, who's gonna be the first to break? San knows he can't, and it's a game he hates to play.

Doesn't mean he won't.

"Didn't seem like nothing."

"Swear." You stand to walk over to the whiteboard on his wall, grabbing a colored marker to start doodling out your thoughts for the journal club paper.

"Lying to me again?" He teases.

"I would never lie to you, Professor Choi." He chuckles, coming behind you as you continue to write.

"That's nice to know. I hope you know you can tell me anything, though." You pause, letting his words marinate. No, you don't know that. You don't think you can tell him how fine he is or how much you wanna jump his bones, not at all.

"I'm just confused." You continue your writing. The statement goes for a couple of things: the journal club paper, some of the data that you and Sunwoo have from recent behavior work, Professor Choi himself. "I need to know if I'm understanding it correctly." You point to the board, slowly turning over your shoulder to look at him. "I don't wanna misread anything." He subtly bites onto his bottom lip before stepping closer and taking the marker from your hand, drawing a huge circle around your writings.

"You're not." And for San, that statement can also go for a couple of things: your overthinking, the way you feel silly for questioning your understanding of the paper, you. "If it's one thing I can tell you Y/N— it's to not overthink and question every little thing. You'll waste time doing that when you've had it right all along." He looks at you and gives you one final reassurance: "You're not misreading any of this."

"Okay." You respond softly, eyes shifting to his lips and back up to his almond-shaped eyes. For some reason, this no longer feels like it's about the paper. For some reason, it feels like he's telling you he's on the same page, like he wants you just as bad as you want him. For some reason, you no longer feel like you're just delusional and in your feelings— even though, everything about this is completely wrong and against the code. It could fuck everything up for the both of you.

But, you don't care.

He doesn't either.

"So, tell me again." He clears his throat. You watch his adam's apple bob when he swallows, capping the marker as he sits back on the corner of his desk and looks at you. "What's your understanding about their process?" You continue to write on the board, explaining your understanding of the paper. Professor Choi continues to sit closely behind you, nodding in agreement as you talk him through it. He saw your presentation and he didn't find any flaws with it; he's not sure why you're second guessing yourself when you did everything correctly.

You've done everything perfectly.

"Y/N." He says lowly, almost near your ear. "You've got it down. Don't second guess yourself."

"I can't help it."

"Trust me, don't. You'll make it more complicated than it needs to be. That was perfect. Your presentation was great."

"Should I fix anything?"

"No."

"Professor Choi. Are you lying to me now?" He chuckles.

"Is that what you think of me?" He's fighting with himself, closing his hand into a fist to fight the urge to tuck your hair behind your ear. He continues to keep his eyes on yours, though. "You know I could never do that."

"I'll take your word for it." In the end, you've gotten the reassurance you felt like you needed, you yearned for. But, in the end, you've also grown more confidence— enough to believe that Professor Choi was in the same boat as you. Because he is, he just can't say it out loud right now. This has nothing to do with the lab. His work. Your rotation, your projects.

This is all about you, and just you.

"Good." His tone drops before he checks his phone. He lets out a sigh, a small frown growing on his lips. How the hell did 30 mins go by so fast? "Shit. I gotta run to another meeting." He says softly, eyes quickly shifting around you facial features. "Is it okay if we continue this on the phone later? Just to make sure you've got everything before journal club on Monday?"

"S-sure." You quickly look at his lips, back up to his eyes. "Yeah, sure."

"5pm okay for me to call?"

"Dinner time for you?"

"Mm, not really. Dinner is whenever I feel hungry." You chuckle and nod. "What about you?"

"I can eat after."

"Okay, 5pm."

"Thank you, Professor Choi."

"You're welcome." He smiles toothlessly, watching as you carefully walk past him and grab your things. Again, he fights the temptation to pull you by the waist and press you flush against his body—

Doing things only he can imagine in his head.

"Are you walking out or are you doing a Zoom meeting?" San forces himself to snap out of it, lowly clearing his throat as he walks around and plops onto his computer chair.

"Zoom. Talk later?" You smile before waving, leaving San to his peace. The tension in the room feels like it's finally gone, finally been lifted. He almost felt a little suffocated in his own office while having you there— but it's only because of how you make him feel, and now obviously, how he makes you feel. He lets out a hefty sigh, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes before hopping into the Zoom call about budgets and the status of his current grants.

The meeting goes on for so long, it feels like. The whole afternoon is a drag and San feels exhausted by the time it hits 4pm. He's skipping out on the gym today, still a little sore from yesterday's workout. As soon as he wraps up his last meeting, he packs up and leaves, saying goodbye to the one or two heads still lingering in the office area.

He still has enough groceries at home to make it through to the weekend, so he doesn't take any pitstops on the way home. He lets out a huge sigh when he finally pulls into his garage and parks the car, stepping out of his shoes and setting his bag aside in his office. He jogs upstairs to take a hot, steamy shower— enough to help relieve the stress from the week's activities. He throws on some flannel pajama pants and a white tee, heading back downstairs to throw some salmon and vegetables in the oven before cooking rice.

While waiting for his dinner to finish, he settles back down in his office and pulls up your contact info from the text thread just as it's about to hit 5pm. He leans back against the chair, listening to the phone ring on the other line.

"Hi." You pick up so sweetly and it immediately brings a smile to San's face despite his long afternoon.

"Hi. Still a good time to talk?" You sit on your couch, presentation popped up on your laptop.

"Yeah, it is."

"How was the rest of your afternoon?"

"It was okay. I just finished working with Belle on a few things after our meeting."

"Is that going well?"

"Yeah." You chuckle a bit. "I really like working with Sunwoo and Belle."

"I'm glad to hear that. That's all that matters." He pulls up your presentation, clicking through it as his eyes skim each slide.

"How was yours, Professor Choi?"

"Ah, well. Really long. But, it's over with." He laughs. "So, I'm skimming through your presentation and everything looks fine. I think the one thing I'll say is, maybe you should add another slide to talk about the results that didn't pan out well. I know we typically don't do stuff like that, but it helps us discuss what went wrong and what they should've done to get the end result they wanted."

"Oh, yeah. I was thinking about that but wasn't sure if I should."

"You definitely should. Remember what I said about not second-guessing yourself?" He says in a light-hearted tone that has you rolling your eyes and holding in a big smile.

"I know, I know."

"I think the only other thing I'd add is a slide on Figure 2 and 3. It isn't much, but it does relate a lot to what we do in lab. Think you can handle that?"

"Yeah, I can."

"Yeah?" He repeats, sinking into his seat with his legs spread. "Good." He hears you typing away before you sigh, pausing the conversation for a brief moment while you gather your thoughts and take notes.

"What else are you doing this evening, Professor Choi?" You finally break the silence after a few.

"Hm." He hums. "Just talking to you." You can hear the smirk through the phone, see it even. You bite your bottom lip and shift your position on the couch, heat rising to your cheeks— pooling at your core replaying the deep tone he speaks in.

"Nothing else?"

"Don't really need to do anything else while I'm on the phone with you, no." You sit on his statement, hand toying with the string from your sweats. He doesn't need to do anything else because he's on the phone with you? You take it as a compliment, one that has your heart beating through your chest, palms all sweaty again. He was going to be the death of you.

"Y/N! Let's go! I'm hungry!" You hear Felix from the other side of your door, and San does, too. He lets out a silent chuckle, a little sad he's gonna have to let you go eventually.

"Is there anything else I should do?"

"For?" He questions because his mind is running through a million thoughts at once. You are very much talking about journal club, but he's very much thinking about other things; ways to push you and him forward.

"The slides."

"No. That's all, Y/N. It's perfect."

"Thank you."

"Y/N! Please! They have the best menu tonight, we need to go before everyone gets there!" Felix whines, making the rest of your friends laugh as he pounds on the door. "What are you even doing anyway?!"

"I gotta go." You sigh and shut your laptop. "My friends are about to bust my door down." He chuckles.

"Well, hope the call helped, Y/N."

"It did, Professor Choi. All of this did. Thank you again."

"Course. Have a good night."

"You too." San subtly nibbles on his bottom lip as he hears you breathily respond, the tone and sound of your voice immediately doing things to him. He clears his throat to rid himself of the thoughts, to rid himself of the feeling, distracting himself with the unread emails sitting in his inbox and the random announcements for the week.

Well now, Namjoon's sudden group text with him, Jongho, Christopher, Mingi and Yeosang.

namjoon: my brilliant, all-star fellas

chris: oh lord, what is it?

namjoon: 😀 need ya'll to attend the happy hour event

yeosang: to babysit? yaaaay love this time of the year...... !!

namjoon: lol no, just to hang out! please 🥹 gotta show the students we're involved in student life esp at the start of the new quarter. you know this!

jongho: they run around in our labs and play w/ our equipment

jongho: how much more involved do we need to be exactly

san: 🤣 what're the details again? sorry i totally glazed over that email. it's probably in my trash bin actually

namjoon: all that energy put into announcements just for you to trash it 🫤

namjoon: tomorrow, starts at 7pm at the monroe bar

san: i'll be there

mingi: same

yeosang: 🫡

jongho: 👍🏼

namjoon: knew i could trust my boys!

jongho: make the dean give me and san some real estate

namjoon: putting my phone on dnd now 😅

namjoon: jk yes don't worry, i'll work my magic ok. give me a bit of time, but i got you.

namjoon: thanks guys, have a good evening!

San lets out a breath when he sets his phone aside and runs a hand down his face, mustering all the energy he has left to get his dinner together and onto a plate. He can't, though. His thoughts are too stuck on you, and the way you look. The way you act around him. The way you sound on the phone.

With how big the welcome back happy hour event tends to be, there's no doubt you'll be there with your friends. And as much as San is excited to see you outside of the lab, enjoying yourself in a bar with your friends—

He knows it's equally, incredibly dangerous for him.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension

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sonicranger1 · 7 months ago

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I'm still pissed at ROTT so since I'm not a YouTube reviewer you get this text wall of me explaining why while the ending of the movie does indeed suck it isn't just the ending that sucks

Why didn't Jim put on any armor till the very end? you pretentious child why should I care if you got injured when you're running around armorless just because you can't have your magical amulet armor anymore

Why was Jim questioning if he was still the Trollhunter when all the way back in S2 E11 'Unbecoming' of Trollhunters he himself said "I know I'm the Trollhunter. I'm the Trollhunter, Amulet or not"

Why did Jim suddenly start caring about his father in the movie? Aside from the fact the conversation leads to nothing and you could've easily cut it out and it wouldn't have changed anything it was established all the way back in S1 that Jim never cared about his father so why retcon that?

They shouldn't have killed Nomura off so early when we've barely been able to see her dynamic with the Trollhunter cast outside of being an antagonist and let alone see her dynamic with the cast of 3below and Wizards

Following up on the last one why did you send Trolls to the only Titen in broad daylight, you can't tell me there weren't better picks then Nomura and Arrrgh

And on that point, here's my little fan reassignment of the teams

(I put way to much effort in this literally sobbing, pls click 4 better quality :'()

Anyways time to explain my reasonings

Team Sword: the OG was fine I have almost no problems with this one but Krel could've been utilized way better imo, also Arrrgh is perfect for lifting up a giant rock with a sword embedded in it, he's literally always described as a hulking brute by other characters so ??

Team Orb: same thing with Team Sword I have nothing against it and it's probably the best one out of all of the originals but man Nomura interacting with Blinky is just... such an amusing thought to me, it is partly fueled by the short kinda interaction they had when Krel was playing music earlier in the movie but anyways more serious reasoning is I think she's the best alternative to Claire since it's not like her shadow magic was- or could've been used at any point during the mission乁(ツ)∫

Team Sunshine: once again what the hell was Jim thinking with this one? The only one that made sense to be there was Douxie, anyways reasonings with this one is that 1. Toby would actually be utilized lmao 2. Toby and Krel interactions fuel my soul 3. With Toby's hammer and Krels tech they'd probably have a way easier time getting up the Earth Titen

Team Icy: Claire Shadow magic = no rope snapping and lesser chance of Strickler dying aka less unnecessary deaths yay :DDDD

The mission assigning was such a good opportunity to have characters interact who haven't interacted prior/flesh out previously established relationships that didn't get alot of screentime and ROTT blew it, truly so much missed potential but I suppose you can say that for the entire movie

Why did they just casually mention there was a heartstone on Akiridion-5 like we knew that information prior to the movie? no one commented on it and it made me feel insane while watching

GET. RID. OF THE. MPREG. SIDE PLOT‼️‼️‼️ you're not Fairly OddParents it doesn't work and doesn't make sense, Aja and Steve have entirely different biology

(These next ones are more personal/general nitpicks but whatever)

Call me a hater but the whole "Arcadia is the center of the universe" is so dumb, I remember first hearing that little bit of info from a fancomic and i thought it was just having Blinky be egotistical but no, apparently that's a fact of life now

Idk I think it's cooler and funnier if all these guys came to Arcadia out of pure coincidence yknow?

what/where was Dictatious, Chompsky, Nancy/Nana and anyone else I'm forgetting doing during all this especially when Arcadia was being destroyed at the end, just feel like they should've atleast done a quick cut away shot to what they were doing during all this chaos (translation: I miss Dictatious)

Why doesn't Blinky use Dwärkstones anymore, I thought that was gonna be his signature weapon after The Eternal Knight but apparently not I guess, seeing him chuck explosives at Gods definitely wouldn't have been cool anyways...

Blinky sure has alot of time on his hands for being the supposed Head of New Jersey Trollmarket

Btw does that place even exist cuz for all intents and purposes it doesn't, so serious why didn't we ever get to see it dude 😭

Before I get to pointing out the obvious with the ending I'd like to highlight scenes that I actually liked and were actually good!

I liked the scene in the somewhat beginning with Blinky and Arrrgh talking about if the other dies they were glad they got to know the other that was sweet, loved it, 10/10

Like I mentioned earlier the brief scene with Krel playing music and Blinky and Nomura being annoyed by it was great, got a chuckle out of me and I wish we got to see more of that

Blinky being electrocuted was pretty good 👍 the pilot unnecessarily pointing out his multiple eyes and arms was funny to me

near the end where Blinky went to comfort arrrgh when Toby died was another 10/10 I love them ur honor

Okay being nice over, time to dig into this movie again

Toby being the Trollhunter is such a terrible idea for multiple reasons

For 1. It just makes Jim's job harder now cuz changing something as fundamental as who's the Trollhunter is gonna drastically change so many things which inturn makes things far less predictable and unless Jim has the new amulet still (which is unlikely since he's never shown with it after going back) he can't just Undertale-style reset if something goes wrong

2. Toby has never shown interest in being in any leader-type role (unless you count him directing his short film in 3below) and considering part of being the Trollhunter is basically leading an entire race...

3. Sorta following up on point 2 The role of being Trollhunter holds so much responsibility and burden and it just... dare I say, doesn't make sense for Jim as a character to put that burden onto Toby, his best friend

Guys this is the same kid who went into the darklands alone to take on Gunmar because he didn't want to see anymore of his friends/family getting hurt and you expect me to believe he'd then put that all onto Toby?

4. Toby even getting the amulet doesn't make sense considering in 'Unbecoming' the amulet was already taken by Draal by the time school ended

5. Speaking of 'Unbecoming' that episode also established that if anyone but Jim got the amulet Arcadia- and in extension the world- would be doomed and the eternal knight would happen so I guess he wants everyone to die ! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways I'm done (hopefully) TLDR: the movies awful, makes dumb decisions, completely ignores or retcons things established earlier in the franchise and didn't utilize it's extensive cast at all

And if you've read this far, thank you I appreciate it and I'll use this time to recommend the original Trollhunters book, it's awesome and has an ending 10x better then this slop please go read it (IHaveATotallyLegalWayForYouToReadItEasily)

#don't ask me why i spent so much time on that dumb chart i don't have an answer #all i can say is drawing characters outside of Jim and Blinky for the first time was hell #especially Stuart #lord...#i implore you all to add anything else to this in the comments/reblogs #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #toa #my ramblings #YOU ALL WILL SEE THIS #i spent way to long on it

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xsweetcatastrophe · 2 months ago

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You Broke Me First

part 39

note to self: If i write another story after this one, maybe have a banner/cover photo so its the same photo every chapter bc my cillian folder on my phone is dwindling lmao

“Make sure you pack everything you need, I’ll handle the airline” Jen yelled from the living room. Zoe was grabbing a duffle bag and shoving clothes into it at rapid speed. She needed to get to Cillian, now.

“Clothes, toothbrush, socks…. what am I gonna say to him?” Zoe said out loud to herself.

clothes, toothbrush, socks… hey your assistant or whatever shattered our relationship, i love you, i had a miscarriage, it was yours, by the way your house is all set up and ready to go, Zoe thought.

She emerged a half hour later, now wearing leggings and an athletic zip-up jacket with sneakers. Duffle bag in hand, she took a deep breath. “okay, when is my flight?”

“OUR flight is tonight at 7pm, and since it’s 4pm now i suggest we leave NOW” Jen said, putting on her sneakers and zipping up her own suitcase. “Good thing i’m a lazy mom who thinks it’s a good idea to keep my passport in my suitcase at all times.”

“Jen, you don’t have to come -“

“Are you out of your mind?” Jen said, cutting her off, “I am DEFINITELY coming. I can’t leave now. I need to know how this ends. Plus, I already called and paid for our uber. Let’s go wait downstairs.” She stood up and made her way to the front door.

“I can’t believe i’m doing this” Zoe muttered, following Jen’s (determined) march out of Zoe’s apartment.

“Besides,” Jen yelled over her shoulder, and Zoe paused to lock the door, “i’ve always wanted to see Big Ben!”

Zoe already had the address of Cillian’s hotel; he gave her a sheet before he left to shoot Peaky with his flight number, hotel info and return flight information. He left no stone unturned, making sure Zoe was in the loop throughout every step of him leaving.

How could I be so stupid? she thought. How could I not see the Cillian I knew and this version was night and day?

Zoe beat herself up the majority of the flight, with Jen next to her doing her best to calm her down. When words didn’t work, she just held her hand and let Zoe cry on her shoulder.

“She’s a mean girl, Zoe,” she had said, talking about Hannah. “There’s no explanation as to why she did what she did. It’s rude and mean and nasty and manipulating and evil. She’s not a good person. But you are. I'm not going to sit here and say don’t cry, so you just cry. We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

It took the jaws of life to get Zoe off that plane. Jen was behind her with her hand on her back softly pushing her to move. “One step in front of the other,” she would say softly over Zoe’s shoulder, “That’s it. Good… okay, preferably a bit faster since there’s a line of people behind us getting angrier and angrier by the minute…”

“Jen, what do I even say?” Zoe said, in the back of the car on the way to the hotel.

“We had a 10 hour flight and you didn’t use a minute of that time to think about that?” Jen said, exhausted. She had begged the uber driver to make a pit stop for coffee. All the travel and time zone changes were catching up to her, and she needed her caffeine fix.

Zoe on the other hand was wired on pure adrenaline, anxiety and fear.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Zoe groaned, putting her head in her hands.

“Ok, well, we’re pulling up. So think on your feet… Actually you know what? Be honest. Just be raw and honest, as if you were talking to me.”

“What if I start crying? What if -“

“WHO CARES?” Jen snapped. “Who cares if you cry when you talk to him? Who cares if you throw up? Faint? Scream? If this man loves you the way you tell me he does, he certainly won’t. You shouldn’t have to be worried about these things when you’re in front of someone you love. You’re so conditioned on making sure everyone else is comfortable you don’t look out for yourself. You have emotions, feelings, and he should be able to see them and you should be able to freely express them to him. Scared to cry… literally who gives a shit. I cry once a day. I don’t give a fuck.”

The car was silent, so you could hear the cab driver do a “whew” under his breath.

He wasn’t wrong. Neither was Jen.

She was right. She was always right. But now wasn’t the time to let her know that.

The car came to a stop along the curb in front of the hotel. “Come on,” Jen said. Zoe slid out after her and turned to close the door. As it clicked shut, she could see the cab driver give her a smile and a thumbs up.

Zoe smiled and mouthed “thank you”. He nodded his head and pulled into traffic.

“Okay….let me think,” Jen said, sighing and looking to the sky.

“Think about what? You act like you’re the one going in there and confronting him,” Zoe said.

“No, i know… I’m thinking of a pep talk to give you,” Jen replied, bringing her hand to her sunglasses on her face and placing them on top of her head.

At that moment, Zoe really saw how tired her sister was. Her skin looked splotchy, he had a light sheen of sweat on her brow, and there were dark circles accompanying the bags under her eyes. She traveled across the world for her at the drop of a dime; tired, hungry, sweaty…. and not a single complaint out of her.

“It’s okay,Jen,” Zoe said, “I appreciate you. I got this.” She took a deep breath and stared at the front door of the hotel. “Let’s go in.”

———————————-

“Absolutely not, I’m sorry,” The receptionist said.

“But -”

“Ma’am, we are not at liberty to give out information about our guests, let alone give out their room number. It goes against any and every confidentiality agreement we have.”

Zoe sighed. Of course they wouldn’t give her information. They probably think I’m just a crazy fan, she thought.

Zoe backed away and turned to Jen. “It’s done. They won’t give me any info. This trip was a waste. I’m so sorry.”

“Let’s ..take a breather. Let’s eat, recharge, reconnect … I need a shower, I feel gross, let’s get food and we’ll think of something. He has to come back here eventually, right? You’re sure this is the hotel?” Jen said, touching Zoe’s arm to lead her back towards the front door.

“I can’t believe this, Jen, how could I be so stupid?” Zoe said, “I feel so embarrassed…”

“uh, Zoe..”

Zoe didn’t hear the sound of Jen’s steps behind her anymore. She turned around and followed her gaze to the Hotel bar.

There Cillian was, sitting at the bar with Hannah, who was typing away on her laptop.

Jen turned back to Zoe. “Found him.”

Zoe didn’t know what it was; the fact that after all this, there he was, right in front of her… or, the fact he was sitting there with HER, the cruelest woman she’s never met, the one who sabotaged her relationship, typing away as if she didn’t just crush the soul of her client in front of her.

Whatever it was, Zoe didn’t feel fear, she didn’t feel nervousness or anxious … she felt RAGE. She felt her heart pound against her chest and suddenly felt she had the power to run a marathon, the strength of a thousand soldiers, the fearlessness of any superhero.

She stormed right towards him and Hannah, fists clenched at her sides. Jen, caught off guard, struggled to catch up to her.

“Excuse me, do you have a reservation -“

“DON'T TALK,” Zoe interrupted the host as she stormed past her and the hostess stand.

That caught the attention of Cillian and Hannah, who turned to see a red faced, angry Zoe marching towards them, stopping right in front of Cillian, now wide-eyed and pale faced.

“Hello, we really need to talk. Alone.” Zoe said to Cillian, making sure to turn to Hannah when she said the alone part.

“Uh…hello,” Cillian said, struggling to find words.

“Hello.” Zoe repeated, “Where can we talk?”

“Cillian, you don’t have time for this, you have dinner at 6:30-“ Hannah said, cutting in.

“YOU. I suggest you don’t speak.” Zoe said, raising her voice at Hannah. “You are the most disgusting, manipulating, evil bitch I have ever met in my life. I hope you rot in hell.”

Hannah’s eyes went wide, and bounced back and forth between Cillian and Zoe. “ I… what? What are you talking about-“

“You know exactly what she’s talking about, Barbie, shut up,” Jen said, out of breath, from behind Zoe.

“Ok, Ok,” Cillian said, standing up off the stool, “you’re making a scene. What is going on? Why are you here?”

“I need to talk to you. Alone. Please,” Zoe pleaded.

Cillian stared at her, trying to find out what she could possibly need that caused her to fly all the way here.

“Wasn’t cutting me off through a text enough?” Cillian said quietly.

Zoe winced. She could hear the pain in his voice. She could see it in his face. He was wearing a beanie, presumably to cover the peaky haircut, but he looked horrible. Dark circles under his eyes, his cheekbones more defined, and his blue eyes almost seemed duller.

“Cillian, please…” Zoe begged. “Just 5 minutes. I promise if you want me to leave after i talk you’ll never see me or hear from me again.”

Cillian sighed, and his head dropped to his shoes. “We can go upstairs to my room,” He said softly, “But 5 minutes.”

“Fine. Thank you. Fine. Lead the way,” Zoe said, stepping aside.

Before Cillian could move, Jen stepped forward and blocked him. “TTYL,” Jen said, looking at him straight in his eyes.

Cillian blinked at her, looked to Zoe, and back to Jen, “uh… thanks.. what?” Cillian replied confused.

Jen looked to Zoe and shrugged her shoulders, “Sorry, Had to see for myself,” she mumbled.

The elevator ride up to the room was quiet and awkward. Zoe battled in her brain if she should make small talk; ask about shooting, the weather, the food…?. she can’t say he looks good, because frankly, he doesn’t. She decided the awkward silence was the better option.

With a swipe of his keycard the hotel room door opened and Cillian stepped aside to let Zoe into the dark room first.

She stepped in and looked around - it was a basic living room, with a couple scripts on the end table along with a couple empty bottles of alcohol. A pillow from the bedroom was on the couch and the cushions looked squished in - as if Cillian had been sleeping on the couch the past couple of weeks and just woke up and left to shoot. The room smelled like stale alcohol and old food, which made sense since Zoe noticed the overflowing garbage of takeout containers and more empty beer bottles. She walked over to the windows on the opposite wall and pulled back the heavy curtain. She heard Cillian wince once the sunlight flooded the room. She turned around, and through the specks of dust that now flooded the air she could make out Cillian closing the door and walking towards her, hands in his pocket, eyes adjusting to the light.

“Ok, you got me here,” he said, “talk.”

Zoe sighed and bit her lip. She was nervous and she didn’t understand why.

They could be together again. This was just all one big misunderstanding.

There were times where Zoe biting her lip made Cillian feral, and now he just looked at her as if she was a stranger.

“Cillian..” Zoe started, “Can you sit down with me?” she gently said, sitting on the couch.

“I prefer not to, and if we can make this quick, I’d appreciate it,” Cillian responded coldly.

“Cillian … there’s been a really big misunderstanding,” Zoe started.

“A misunderstanding? That’s interesting. So you breaking up with me via a two-word text message is a misunderstanding?”

“No, you don’t understand - “

Cillian sighed and shook his head, “Zoe, please. I don’t want to deal with this. It’s done. I got the message loud and clear. Thank you for all you’ve done with our - my house. Send me the bill for anything you paid for, and I'll reimburse you. I actually asked you that via text but you so kindly blocked me so all my messages to you just went nowhere, but don’t worry, I understand. What do you need from me right now? Whatever it is, you got it. I just want this part of my life closed and never to be remembered honestly ever again, You were so quick to cut me off -“

“That’s what you don’t understand, I thought I was talking to you, but I wasn’t! It was Hannah! All of this is Hannah’s fault!”

Cillian blinked at her slowly. “ok…” he finally said, “I'm officially worried about you. I don’t know where that came from, but that’s ridiculous and you know it deep down.”

“Do I? Is it really THAT ridiculous? Come on, you know she hated me the second our contract was up and didn’t want us together,” Zoe said, trying not to get upset. “Please, just let me explain everything. Can you give me that? You and me, remember?”

Zoe could see his breathing hitch when she said that last part. He sighed and put his head in his hand, then sat down next to Zoe.

“Okay,” he mumbled. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t think Hannah has a personal vendetta against you. But I'm listening.”

“Cill, she never liked me.”

“Well she’s not paid to like you. She works for me. So anything I ask her of regarding you was still done by her.”

“And that’s where our problems start,” Zoe said, reaching for her phone. “Let’s start from the beginning. Remember when you said you would have Hannah email me the shooting schedule?”

Cillian nodded. “And you got it.”

“I got SOMETHING,” She said, pulling up the half-assed schedule Hannah provided. “I could be wrong, but is this how an official schedule looks like? On a word doc with typos?” She pulled up the doc on her phone and showed it to Cillian. She watched his eyes glaze over it.

“Well, maybe she didn’t want to provide the official one we got because it wasn’t handy and she just typed it up to … wait.. this isn’t right, we didn’t shoot for.. my god, 16 hours on Thursday? what?....” Cillian said, reading the dates and times. He got off the couch. “What week Is this for? Hold on,” He said, getting up and going towards a pile of papers on the counter. He came back with a manila folder.

“These are the official schedules, I print them out because I always end up writing on them to include my gym sessions and haircuts,” He said, opening the folder to a paper with a grid of dates and times, Cillian’s name and the production company logo on top as well as watermarked. “These times are .. all wrong,” He said, comparing the two.

“Exactly. You thought I wasn’t texting you but it was because according to the fake schedule, I thought you were shooting… on top of you telling me to not text you ever,” Zoe responded, leading into her 2nd portion.

Cillian’s eyes almost shot out of his head as he looked at Zoe. “What?? I never said that to you!”

“And that brings me to the most damning piece of evidence of all,” Zoe said, “The text messages.”

Zoe went to her cell phone provider’s online portal and pulled up the transcript of messages. “Do you remember sending any of these?”

Cillian scrolled through the text messages, and Zoe watched it dawn on him that she may be right all along about this.

“I don’t … i don’t know what these codes mean,” Cillian said.

“I know.. that’s honestly the part that made this all come together. I never once pinned you for the man to write the letter U instead of spelling out Y-O-U, or use shortcuts like NBD” Zoe softly said. “Joseph told me Hannah was the primary keeper of your phone,” She said even quieter.

Cillian was silent. He just nodded as he still scrolled through the messages that were allegedly from him. His heart was pounding through his chest.

Zoe still had a question she needed an answer to - “You didn’t notice any of these weird messages in your text thread with me when you DID have your phone?”

Cillian finally broke away and make the contact with Zoe. “Hannah told me… she told me I should delete all my texts every day because it takes up memory or.. or something. She said it was in the little book that came with the phone.”

Zoe sighed. “I don’t think phones come with books anymore, babe,” She said, putting a reassuring hand on his knee.

Cillian looked blankly at the wall across from him, as if he was trying to reply the conversation over and over again, “Yea she.. she said no one ever reads them and she does because she.. likes to or something,”

Perfect segway into part 3, Zoe thought.

“Well, speaking of things that Hannah likes to read…” Zoe said, pulling up the screenshot of Tara’s instagram post of the article she wrote regarding Cillian and Lizzie.

Cillian sighed, “This again? Listen, we’re just friends, she asked me-“

“No, Cillian,” Zoe interrupted. “look at who commented.”

“Zoe, I don’t know what this is or what i’m looking at,” Cillian said, with a hint of frustration in his voice.

“Okay, this is instagram. A lot of people have it… it’s another form of social media. People use it to post photos, videos, etc… this is the page belonging to the woman who wrote the article about you and Lizzie… Her name is Tara Russo. She posts pictures her articles as they drop along with the link for people to click and read them. Look who commented …” Zoe pointed with her finger at Hannah’s username.

Cillian squinted. “Is that Hannah?”

“Yes… she commented the handshake emoji. If you look at their activity on their pages, Hannah is always liking her posts.. which is something a friend does. But this one, the handshake emoji… i think she tipped Tara off that you’d be out with her so she can go take photos and write the article because she wanted me to believe you moved on…” Zoe concluded.

Cillian stood up and started pacing. “This is.. this is insane…”

“I know. I’m sorry, but I never broke up with you. And I don't believe any of the messages you sent me. That’s why I had to talk to you…”

“How could someone do that? I’ve been here not sleeping and feeling like shit over this thinking i was just discarded again like my ex wife -“

“I know. imagine how I feel, i was in the hospital alone, i had to call my mom-“

“Huh?” Cillian stopped and turned to Zoe. “Hospital? Why?”

oh.

Zoe forgot about this part.

Zoe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked down at her hands, clenched together in her lap.

“Zoe.” Cillian said, with a tone in his voice that made her head shoot up to look at him. “You didn’t … hurt yourself over this.. did you?”

“No!” Zoe exclaimed, “God no. Nothing like that,” she paused. Fuck, how do I say this?

“I was out to lunch… I hadn’t been feeling well, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I passed out…”

“Jesus… stress?”

“No… I had a miscarriage.”

Cillian stood there as Zoe watched the blood drain from his face. His breathing became labored and he blinked a couple times in her direction before saying “a miscarriage … you were ..”

“I was pregnant. I didn’t know. Of course looking back it all makes sense, all those mornings of me puking, but I didn’t know-“

“So I was here.. thinking you dumped me over a text while you were miscarrying…?”

“Unfortunately, that’s how it looks.”

“I.. why didn’t … Zoe, did you think i’d ignore you for that??” Cillian exclaimed. He didn’t know what to do, where to walk, should he sit? What does he do with his hands?

“Cill, i didn’t know what to think. I thought you were annoyed with me with all the texts I was getting, I really didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Just stop.” Cill said, stopping at the window. “I have to ask… it’s… well, it was… ours?”

“of course it was.”

Cillian was silent. He continued to look out the window, one hand on his hip and one hand cradling his chin. “I think I need some time…”

Zoe stood up. “Do you want space right now?”

“Yes. Just…just go.”

tags: @lau219 @shopgirl6us @cillianmurphyvevo @bleakmidwinter00 @amelyyyyy @teawonderfultea-blog1 @lavender-haze-01 @cillianinlove @supershadowymiraclestudent @allie131313 @borntodiemp3 @kikimurphys

#cillian fic #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy x oc #cillian x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy fanfiction

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dearest-amber-daily · 5 months ago

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Ahaha. Ahahaha... I screwed up-

So. How do I explain myself- Well- while on patrol, I found this glass container of this strange, green substance, deep in the woods. It had something written on its bottom. "Synthetic Energon", I believe? It's unlike anything I've seen before.

I took it back to headquarters since I wanted to study it more, and I was going to ask Jin if she wanted help with examining the liquid, and then... uuhhh.....

The aforementioned "synthetic energon" (or synth-en, if you will), is splattered onto the floor, the large vial fractured. It didn't seem like it fell from that great of a height, but it was enough to break it a bit. The medic's eyes seem to be different than usual, her eyes glowing green, akin to the green liquid behind her, rather than her usual pink eyes.

Jin- Jin please don't get mad at me. I know I'm not one to usually make mistakes like this, but it was an accident, and while I was too invested in this new discovery I wasn't looking at where I was going and... that happened.

I should also add... I may have consumed some of it, before it fell. Just thought that was worth mentioning. It was a dumb decision. I know. I was caught up in my curiosity at the time. But, I feel strangely energized after drinking it? Like, I feel a lot stronger? And pumped up, too. I don't know how or why, but that's just how I feel.

I'll get to cleaning it later, I just have... no idea what to do next....

@daily-rcp-poli @daily-jin-madebygenius @dailyrcproy @the-hellycopter-photographer

Transformers RP blogs highly encouraged to interact! <3 This is a Transformers reference after all, and as a huge fan of it, (esp TFP), I wanted to do something related to both of my main fandoms!

It'd be nice to help a non-cybertronian, with a cybertronian problem. Speaking of that, Amber could use help from a fellow medic... (perhaps Ratchet? he's dealt with this before. or Knockout. Or literally TF blog in general, i'm desperate for TF roleplays lmao)

MORE INFO UNDER CUT! (if you don't know what synth-en is, or who amber is)

Synthetic Energon (nicknamed Synth-En) is a manufactured version of Energon, the fuel/lifeblood of Transformers. But unlike normal Energon, it is entirely artificial. It's very effective, and when used on machinery, it's proven to work very well. The catch is, it just works a little too well when used on sentient machinery.

When used on a Cybertronian (or in this case, a robovan), it brings them into a significantly more powerful state. However, it has the side-effect of affecting the user's mental stability, with heightening their agression and arrogance. The user may choose to make some... impulsive decisions, too.

Synthetic energon made its debut in Transformers: Prime, in season 1, episode 22. The medical bot, Ratchet, gets into contact with it and proceeds to get high on steroids.

When I realised Ratchet and Amber were in fandoms I were highly invested in, were both about transforming robots, AND WERE BOTH MEDICS, I decided it was the perfect idea to put Amber in Ratchet's position.

Amber is from the cartoon Robocar Poli, a show about a rescue team of transforming vehicles who save their town from various accidents. A medical expert who's kind, friendly and intelligent. Also, terrifying when mad.

I love Amber. I love Amber so much it hurts me. Same with Ratchet. I have a thing for medical robot characters...

She's a manmade transforming vehicle (implied. i don't think we've gotten solid confirmation or had someone say that the robocars are manmade but oh well we all collectively agree that they're manmade), sooo.. not cybertronian. With synthetic energon, and unrefined synth-en at that. This is totally going to go well.

RCP and TFP, while they have their similarities, they are drastically different. Transformers Prime is about robot warfare. Robocar Poli is a version of Rescue Bots from paralel universe (a reference to one post I saw). I love them both.

medics my beloved.

Anyway, now that you're done reading, GO WILD WITH THE ROLEPLAYS!!!! <33 i'd be so happy to see your rp responses >:D

- Mod Sharon

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sorchathered · 1 year ago

Text

Sacred New Beginnings (part 1)

This is a story over the weekend of Mav and Penny’s wedding, you and Bradley had been engaged and it had all gone to shit, with you back in town for the impending nuptials will you find your way back to each other? Or will you realize you were meant to be with someone else all along?

Pairing(s)- Bradley Bradshaw x reader, Jake Seresin x reader

Warnings- drinking, language, mentions of cheating, eventual smut. 18+

Song inspo- I bet you think about me- ts, the story of us- ts, Cornelia street- ts (yes I’m very taylor coded with this series lmao)

You’d begged Jake to keep it to himself, at least until you could get your bearings in North Island and talk to Bradley yourself. It had been 6 months since the two of you split, he’d put his mother’s ring on your finger and promised you a lifetime but it certainly didn’t turn out like either of you planned. Everything crashing and burning before you ever got a chance to say I do. Now you were back in San Diego at the request of Maverick and Penny for their long awaited nuptials and no matter where you looked all you saw was Bradley Bradshaw.

Jake Seresin was your former front seater, the two of you flew a handful of missions together when you’d been stationed here before. You trusted each other in a way most people didn’t, going through countless near death situations will do that to someone. As you stepped out of the airport into the cool night air you could see him leaning against his ridiculous fully kitted Ford F-150, you could take the man out of Texas but he’d be a cowboy no matter where he went.

“There she is! Stormy girl you are a sight for sore eyes!” He scoops you up in a big bear hug and you finally feel yourself relax, tension melting away just being able to be with your best friend like this.

“Hey douchebag, missed you so much” you say punching his shoulder and letting him lead you into the truck, peeling out of the lot and onto the dark highway.

There’s just something about him that calms you down. Everyone gets the big bad “Hangman” persona and while you’ve witnessed it more times than you can count he’s never once treated you that way. Being around him now feels like home and you need that more than ever knowing the heartache that’s bound to seep into what should be a fairytale weekend. You wring your hands nervously, you know you need to ask but you don’t want to pop the happy bubble you both are in. Time to rip off the bandaid.

“So please tell me you kept your damn mouth shut Jakey, last thing I want to do this weekend is cause a scene. Just want to watch Mav and Penny say I do and head back to Florida with no casualties.”

He frowns at you from across the console, mussing your hair with his hand, he loves having you back here, nothing has felt quite the same without you in his daily life. He knew you’d want to know about he who must not be named (yes Jake considers Bradley to be the Voldemort in your story, no he won’t apologize for it) but he had hoped you’d give yourself some time to adapt first.

“I promise darling, haven’t said a word, hand to God. We will make this weekend a blast and send you on back without a hitch, so long as ol’ Rooster keeps his nose clean we shouldn’t have an issue.”

Just hearing his name causes your heart to lurch, you’ve done so good about avoiding him; blocking his socials and refusing to stalk any of the daggers insta’s for pictures of your former lover.

“How is he?” You say quietly, inspecting your hands in your lap now, refusing to look up for fear that Jake will see your tells; he always does though.

He looks at you with furrowed brows, he wasn’t ready to break your heart again, so he rattled off a bare bones list of info you were looking for, not willing to succumb to the rumors floating around that would only rile you up. The last thing you needed was to spend the weekend drowning in what went wrong and what could have been.

“Recently got promoted to lieutenant commander, got a dog a few weeks ago, no I don’t know if he’s dating anyone and no I wouldn’t tell you if I did. We aren’t doing this to ourselves you hear me? You didn’t do anything wrong and self preservation isn’t a bad thing. Now you must be starving so let’s go get you some In and Out to celebrate my favorite girl being back home.”

Across town in a little craftsman style house by the beach, Bradley Bradshaw is pacing his halls. Mav asked him to be best man and he’s determined to make this speech perfect, but every time he tries to sit down and write out the words describing true love and destiny all he can think of is you. The two of you had been so happy, but then he had to go and fuck everything up. He knew you were the one from the minute he met you; all sharp tongue and attitude, truly the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. It wasn’t easy to get you to come around, you’d made it a rule not to date in your squad but somehow he had broken down your walls. When a particularly dangerous mission left him with substantial injuries you’d been paralyzed with fear. If he was just a friend like you claimed then why did it feel like your heart would explode if you never saw him again? The two of you danced around each others feelings for weeks after until one night of partying at Phoenix and Coyote’s you’d kissed him. Everything felt like it fit in that moment.

A year later he was standing on the beach with roses and Carole Bradshaw’s wedding ring asking you to be his forever, you’d said yes before he could even finish talking; fully confident in the choice you were making. Standing in his house now, no wife and no family he couldn’t help the tears that spilled down his face, regret flooding his senses at how he’d let it all fall apart.

He let his hubris get the best of him. He was the best at what he did, always making sure he went the extra mile to prove himself; constantly fighting living in Goose and Maverick’s shadow. So when a mission came up and you and Jake had been chosen, he’d felt deflated; why hadn’t he been picked? What made Jake the better pilot? What made you more qualified? He went to higher ups to plead his case, never once thinking about the aftermath and how his choices in this would affect you. Needless to say it ended badly, you and Jake being grounded and Bradley flying the mission. Someone unfortunately had let it slip at the bar one night that he’d intervened, costing you an important promotion opportunity and choosing his career over you.

You’d felt betrayed, how could you trust him to be your life partner if he couldn’t even support you in your career? You’d requested an immediate transfer, packed your things and left the ring in your shared home, leaving a note briefly explaining your reasoning and that you’d never wanted it to end this way. He had ruined everything, he tried to convince Jake to give him your new number but Hangman could be ruthless when he wanted to be. Refused to help in any way and made sure Bradley knew that he’d been the getaway car; he would always choose you and your happiness unlike Bradley who’d chosen career over love.

Bradley hated him, but he knew he couldn’t fault him for his decision. If he’d just given that level of care when it counted he’d probably still have you, instead of an empty house and a head full of what ifs. He’d been a terrible fiancé, sure he’d doted on you and always told everyone you were his everything, but he also loved attention. So he’d let girls at the bar flirt sometimes, make excuses that it was just his personality and that he didn’t mean anything by it because of course you were the only one for him. He’d dulled your shine to lift himself up far too many times and he knew deep down he didn’t deserve a second chance. Giving up on his speech for the night he poured another scotch and made his way to bed, there was no mental preparation on earth that would make any of this easier.

Friday morning came bright and early, you stumbled your way through Jake’s apartment letting the smell of coffee carry you to the kitchen. He’d left a post it on the carafe, telling you to be ready by 6 for drinks at the hard deck and you laughed at the familiarity of it all; some things truly did stay the same. Six pm rolled around all too soon and you were dressed in your favorite sundress, your hair and makeup set to perfection as Jake pulled the two of you into the lot of the beloved navy bar. Pulling you from your thoughts he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“If you start feeling uncomfortable you just say the word and we’re out, no muss no fuss. You just relax and enjoy tonight with our friends.”

You smiled up at him, grateful that he always seemed to know what you needed to hear.

“Come on Tex let’s get in there and celebrate our friends.”

The bar was closed to only friends and family tonight, everyone near and dear to the happy couple congregating for their rehearsal dinner. Stepping inside it was like being transported back to the past; sounds, smells, everything was the same as it had been when you left. Jake goes in ahead of you, keeping an eye out for a certain mustached aviator but as you both made it to the bar the general consensus was that he hadn’t made it yet. You greeted Penny and Mav with hugs and congratulations, both so glad that you could make it. Mav caught your eye as you ordered a drink from Jimmy, and you knew what he had to say before he even started.

“He-“

“I’m sure he does Pete. I wish it changed anything, but it doesn’t. This is your day, you don’t need to waste it worrying about the past, I’m ok I promise.”

He just wanted his godson to be happy, you knew that. But it wasn’t that easy, too much time had passed and you were uneasy enough thinking about having to see him tonight. So with a squeeze to his arm and a smile you made your way across the bar to the pool tables and your former squad.

Rowdy and full of mischief, that’s the best way you could describe them, whooping and cat calling you as you crossed the threshold as they enveloping you in hugs and remarks at how you’d been missed. Phoenix sidles up to you now, bumps her hip against yours with a Cheshire Cat grin, the two of you had never lost contact during the past 6 months and you were grateful for another person looking out for you tonight.

“I’ve missed you cutie! It’s just not the same around here, still can’t believe you left me to take care of the kids by myself.” You both laugh at that, looking towards your boys now as they play fight and place bets at who can kick the others ass at pool, knowing without a doubt that Jake will take the winnings.

“It feels good to be home ‘Nix, I didn’t realize just how much I missed everyone until I got here. Florida is nice, I love the group I have there but the daggers are my family.” You trail off, trying to suppress the tears threatening to leak from your eyes.

She pulls you in for another hug, kisses the side of your head. “It’s going to be a good weekend buddy, I can feel it.”

Bradley’s late. He knows he should have left earlier but he’d been dragging his feet. Mav had texted to tell him you were here and he had to pull over on the highway to empty his stomach. His nerves are shot, pulling the bronco into the lot with shaking hands he attempts to pull himself together, knowing you are just inside has him feeling faint.

“Get your shit together Bradshaw, don’t lose your cool.”

He sucks in a deep breath and opens the door.

After grabbing a beer and getting two pitifully sympathetic looks from Penny and Mav, he turns towards his group and lays his eyes on you. It’s like a punch to the gut, you have always been breathtaking but after having only the memories on his phone to look at he knows for sure they pale in comparison to the real thing. His feet begin moving of their own accord, brain hasn’t quite caught up to what he’s doing. It feels like a magnet is dragging him towards the one place he has longed to be. You are arm and arm with Coyote, animatedly telling him a story with sparkling eyes and Bradley is falling in love all over again. He skirts the outside of the group, settles in to a seat next to Bob and Fanboy hoping he can keep from startling you. You feel his presence because of course you do, and he can tell the moment your energy shifts. You keep looking at him from the corner of your eye; your arms wrapped tightly around yourself and it breaks his heart. His view is obscured by Hangman all too soon, leaning in to the table to catch his eye.

“Rooster”

“Hangman”

“We aren’t gonna have any issues tonight are we?” Jake asks with his signature smirk and lazy southern drawl, it’s charming to some but to Bradley it’s like nails on a chalkboard.

“I’m not here to make things uncomfortable Bagman, just here to fulfill my duty to Mav as best man. She’s a a big girl and doesn’t need a babysitter, if she wants to talk to me I’m happy to listen to anything she says, I’d be an idiot not to”

“You’re an idiot either way Bradshaw but if you make Stormy girl cry tonight you’ll be showing up to the ceremony tomorrow with a black eye, just keep that in mind.”

“Understood.”

Jake blinks back the shock, didn’t expect Bradley to be amenable towards him at all. They have avoided each other at all costs in social gatherings ever since the split, Jake knew nothing good would come from stirring it back up and Bradley looked like a kicked puppy most of the time. Shrugging it off, Jake nods to the group at the table and heads back to where you are, encouraging hand on your shoulder. He’d be damned if someone ruined your night, so instead of letting you wallow he scooped you up to pick a song on the jukebox and took you to the dance floor. Spinning you and reveling in your giggles and bright eyes, it almost made him forget that he wasn’t supposed to look at you the way he was now. He’s been so good about keeping it together all these years, making sure to have a date to keep him occupied when you were cuddled up to Rooster and firmly planting himself in the friend zone. He knew that’s what you needed and he’d always go above and beyond to make you happy. Even if it meant he couldn’t have you.

You have no idea how long you’ve been here, speeches have been given and far too many shots have been had; the room is too hot and slightly spinning so you make your way outside for some fresh air. He’s there of course, smoking a cigarette and watching the waves. Looking him over now you can see the little changes, he’s not as bulky anymore, face and torso are definitely thinner than they used to be. He looks tired, to the bone judging by the dark circles under his eyes and the way he seems to slouch in on himself, no longer the larger than life persona he used to project. You think for a moment you should go back in, but as he flicks the used up cigarette into the wind you are both face to face, pain clearly etched in his features as he takes you in.

“Hi.” It’s all you can make out, you think of how ludicrous it is that after 6 months of heartbreak the best you can scrounge up is a measly hi.

“Hi Storm, it’s good to see you.”

“Y-yeah it’s good to see you too, it’s been a while.”

He runs his hand over his scarred chin, looking you over and it almost looks like he might reach out for you but he thinks better of it.

“I’m sorry Bradley- I can’t do this, I know what you’re gonna say and I feel it too but it doesn’t change anything. We’re the same people we were 6 months ago, and love isn’t going to fix it.”

You were trembling, tears pouring down your face and Bradley couldn’t stand it. He’d broken your heart and let you go, but he’d never once stopped thinking of you. Just two steps forward and you could be back in his arms, and he thought of Mav’s saying “don’t think, just do.” So he closed the distance and pulled you into his arms, your beautiful face cradled in his hands as he wiped away your tears.

“Baby, my sweet sweet girl I know I fucked it up, and I’ve spent every day of the last 6 months thinking of what went wrong. I don’t deserve it; I know that but please even if it’s just for tonight let me love you.”

You didn’t know if it was the alcohol spurring you on or the fact that you’d missed his touch so much it physically hurt, but pressing his lips to yours felt like the easiest decision you’d ever made.

You heard the door swing open behind you and someone cleared their throat, causing you to jump backwards out of his grasp, moment over as quickly as it had begun. You spun around to find Jake, eyes full of anger directed right at Bradley and then he looked towards you; disappointment clearly etched in his features.

“I couldn’t find you, Payback said you’d gone outside so I came to make sure you’re alright.”

You feel your cheeks redden with embarrassment, you had promised yourself you wouldn’t be alone with Bradley and yet here you are less than 24 hours later letting him kiss you.

Jake is still staring you down, you shift a little feeling extremely small between the two people you love most.

“Everything’s ok Jake, let’s uh- let’s go home ok? It’s late and I’ve had more than I should have.” You grab at his elbow to steer him towards the lot to the truck, steely gaze still focused on Bradley but he lets you move him, starting a fight isn’t going to fix a thing and he knows more than he’s let on. Maybe it was time to play his hand and let you know just how much of a piece of shit your so called “Prince Charming” really was.

The ride back was eerily quiet, tension flooding the cab of the truck while you spent every second overthinking. Why had you let it get that far? You’d done so good, it’d been half a year without any contact and you’d folded fast, it was so embarrassing. Ugh and for Jake to be the one that found you?! You knew he’d be pissed and expected a thorough lashing but he didn’t say a word. Just stoically stared at the road, no smart ass remark to be found as he white knuckled the steering wheel. He pulled into the drive and bolted for the door, didn’t even stop to let you out like he normally does. Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing for a long ass night trying to drag his feelings out, you made your way into his townhouse.

He’s nowhere to be found when you step inside, probably holed up in his room so he won’t pick a fight; you know the routine fairly well. He hates hurting your feelings so he shuts down and lets himself cool off before he talks to you, normally just acts like nothing ever happened because he’d rather not bring it all back up again. But when you go to check his bedroom he’s not there either; door ajar and completely devoid of Jake. Finally you head to the back porch, he’s there slumped in one of the lounge chairs, already cracked open another beer and staring down at his phone, determined to look anywhere but at you.

You plop down into the chair next to him, knocking one of your knees with his, hoping if you needle him enough he’ll tell you what’s wrong.

“Jakey”

“Don’t. Don’t do this right now Stormy, just let me be before I say something we will both regret.”

You know you should just let it go, but the harshness in his tone is so out of character but frankly you’ve had enough of everyone tiptoeing around you.

“No.”

“No?”

“No I want to do this now, what is it that you aren’t telling me? You seem to have forgotten that I know you better than your own mother, I can tell when you’ve been holding back. You looked like you wanted to beat Bradley into the ground earlier and I know I screwed up and let him get to me tonight but I’m a big girl Jake I can make my own mis-“

“You didn’t make any mistakes though!” He boomed, causing you to jump in your seat. “You’ve spent this whole time blaming yourself for leaving, for not communicating but you have NO idea. This was never something to blame yourself for and the fact that you let him back in tonight knowing what I know makes me SICK.” He’s never had an outburst like this with you, chest heaving and shaking hands he can’t seem to stop, he knows it’s all about to bubble up but he can’t stuff the secrets back down.

“What do you mean, what you know? Jake what am I missing?” You whisper softly, you have a sudden glaring realization and it feels like everything is crashing down, it can’t be can it? You need him to say it to confirm but you wish the earth would swallow you both up; everything changes if he says what you think he will.

“He cheated on you. A month before the mission, and he thought he’d gotten away with it but apparently Fanboy caught him and Mirage fucking in the hard deck bathroom. He agreed not to say anything, but when you left she suddenly started showing up more, he wasn’t even trying to hide her! Everyone knew he was taking her home after nights at the bar, and Fanboy couldn’t keep it in anymore so he told me. Bradshaw was jealous of your success, he took the mission away from you and to really stick it to you he fucked a fellow squad mate behind your back. As far as I’m concerned he’s dead to you, he has no right to come crawling back and you deserve to know it all so he doesn’t take advantage of you again.”

It all made perfect sense now, Bradley had had one too many late nights at work claiming he was shooting the shit with Mav, never interested in taking you to bed like he had been before the mission talk started up, but you’d chalked it up to stress. Always making excuses for him, assuring yourself that he wouldn’t dare cheat because why would he have given you his mother’s ring? He’d told you he wanted a love like Goose and Carole had, promised he’d love you forever. Of course he’d lied, he’d always been more concerned about his career path and his accomplishments, any time you did something of merit his congratulations always seemed tinged with something sour, but he was happy for you right? He loved you right? Now you didn’t know for sure.

You reeled back at the realization, all the puzzle pieces fitting together to make a heartbreaking story, and you felt a surge of nausea come up quickly rushing to the side of the yard to throw up. You could feel Jake’s cool hand holding your hair back, the other rubbing circles into your back telling you to breathe. He’d always been a safe haven in your life, steadfast no matter who he was seeing at the time. You came first to him, your friendship and partnership in the air like an unspoken vow between the two of you. You were being hit with one revelation after another tonight, and you jerked away from him suddenly; throat dry as the desert as you quickly made your way inside to the sink to rinse out your mouth.

“Hey hey, talk to me honey. I’m sorry, shit I’m so sorry you had to find out like this; I should have never let it get this far but you seemed happy in Florida and I didn’t want to open old wounds. Please Stormy, look at me baby I need to know we are ok.”

Now he’s the one wringing his hands, Hangman is never nervous, he’s always larger than life and the most confident person in the room. He looks so boyish now, standing in the dim light of the kitchen, the fear on his face so unnatural on his handsome face.

You couldn’t deny that he was beautiful, you’d always seen the way he attracted the attention of everyone in a room, like the definition of the word gorgeous come to life or the hero on the cover of a romance novel. Just classically handsome, and yes he was smug and he knew just how good he looked but he’d never put on any kind of mask when it came to you. Let himself be vulnerable, trusted you would keep his secrets and never make fun of him for his faults. Now looking at him in the quiet of his home, you realized that Bradley may have physically cheated; but maybe he wasn’t the only one that blew up your relationship. Some part of you from the day Jake Seresin had walked into your life had always belonged to him. Admitting it to yourself now was jarring; how long had you let yourself think he wasn’t everything to you? You found yourself terrified and excited at the thought, suddenly hyper aware of how close he was to you, knowing that if you crossed that line with him tonight you’d never be the same. You tilted your head up to look at him, reaching a hand out so he could close the distance, and watched him relax into your touch knowing you weren’t angry with him.

“Stormy-l-“

“Jake…Do you love me?”

He goes cold at the realization, oh God you had figured it out. He’d tried to suppress it for so long, but obviously with the clarity that had been gained tonight you seemed to be able to see the truth. He’d always been in love with you, but decided that having you in his life was more important than getting his feelings out so he’d gallantly put them aside. When he’d found out the truth about Rooster he’d been unmoored by the whole thing. How the hell could anyone ever hurt you like that? What kind of moron has the perfect girl and destroys her happiness? But he’d let you go, knowing you needed to run and find yourself in the aftermath; Jake was just grateful he could continue to be a part of your life in whatever way you needed. But oh God you knew now, he could see it on your face and since it had been a night for truth and honesty he told the consequences to fuck themselves, pulling you into his arms and pressing his forehead to yours.

“I could deny it, and we could just go back to the way things are if that’s what you need. We can continue this weekend like we have been and I’ll let you go back to Florida. Because you matter too much to me to be selfish with you, but oh angel I want *so* badly to be selfish. So you tell me what you need and I’ll do it.”

He’s so open, pouring his heart out to you and you can’t look away, his bright green eyes searching for any kind of reservation on your part, and when he doesn’t see any he grins that perfect lopsided grin of his, the one that makes your heart grow ten sizes. It’s not a rushed or sudden clashing of teeth and tongue, it’s a slow movement of lips molding together, hands mapping each other in a way that’s never been allowed before. It takes your breath away and as you gasp he slides his tongue against yours, reveling in the little noises you make as you grasp at the collar of his shirt, the need to have him closer overwhelming. After a while with the willpower of a god he pulls himself back from you a little, stroking your cheek and chuckling as you stagger forward trying to chase his kisses. He tilts your face to look at him and he’s warm all over, it’s everything he’s ever wanted and he has to tell you before he lets it get too far.

“I do Y/N, I love you. I always have baby. I want it all with you kid, and I know it probably feels sudden, but I can’t lie to you; I want everything with you. I’ll wait as long as you need because I’m in this no matter what, I don’t think I could stop if I tried.” He says with a watery laugh, and you realize he’s got tears in his eyes.

You are pretty sure you turned into a puddle on the floor, arms and legs feel like jello as he holds you up between himself and the counter. You could agree that yes it was sudden, hell you’d just let Bradley kiss you less than two hours ago, but you couldn’t deny that in all the times you’d kissed Rooster it had never felt like this. How were you ever supposed to go back to the way things were? Did you even want to? The thoughts were swirling around in your head now and he could tell you were lost. So he kissed you once more, just a featherlight peck and then stepped back from you.

“We’ve had a lot of big reveals tonight baby girl, how about we take a beat and sleep, let tomorrow figure it all out for us.”

He was right of course, it has been an overwhelming evening and you two should probably look it over with fresh eyes, so you let him lead you down the hall. He thinks you’re going to head to the guest bedroom but you surprise him, stepping into his bedroom and closing the door.

“Stormy, we can’t- not tonight honey you and i are wrung out-“

“Shhh, we aren’t doing anything tonight Jake, just hold me ok? I need to be close to you.”

He peels off his clothes and lets you change into one of his T shirts, tangling his arms and legs with yours as you snuggle up into bed. Drifting off to sleep, not knowing if he hears you, you whisper to him

“Jake I think I love you too.”

Jake Seresin Masterlist

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finniestoncrane · 1 month ago

Note

BEGGING you to write a facesitting fic with AK Eddie and a male reader, idc who's receiving!! Please xoxo 💚💚💚

Arkham!Riddler x Male!Reader, word count: ok yeah this is PERFECT for him, so i've gone with the concept of eddie putting someone's mouth to far better use than just yapping and annoying him (although he is also a candidate for being forced to shut the fuck up lmao) 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: reader has a penis, rimming, face sitting, domming, kind of angry sex but isn't all sex angry sex with him? sick of him honestly u-u

The floor of his work room was cold, but not clinical. It was far from it. Dirty, cracked, mostly exposed concrete and stone. But it didn't stop you from immediately getting down onto it and laying on your back when he demanded it. So there you found yourself, your body positioned beneath him, his over yours. He had squatted directly over your head, facing towards your feet. For a while he had hovered just above you, so you had to force your neck up and your tongue out to satisfy him, but now he had graciously lowered his slender, bony ass down onto you, raising himself only when he assumed you needed to breathe.

There was no denying that you had crossed a line. It couldn't be easy to come back from having your tongue as deep as it would go inside your boss' asshole, your saliva spread from the top of his cheeks to the back of his balls. But you would cross that bridge when you came to it. Besides, there was barely any time to consider it before Eddie had interrupted you with more of his rambling.

"Do not mistake this as my needing any kind of assistance or physical affection. I'd hate for you to get ideas above your station."

But it was too late, those ideas were already swimming in your head. The beautiful thought that maybe Eddie had needed this, wanted it, as badly as you did. It was him who suggested it after all. He could rant and rave for as long as he wanted about this being nothing but an excuse to relieve some tension and to give you something to do besides talking or bothering him. Something you could do well, at least.

Just the idea alone of him conjuring up the means to request that you service his tight, puckered hole, along with the fact that you could now consider yourself lucky enough to know what the Edward Nigma tasted like, was enough to have your own arousal reaching a dangerously uncomfortable level. So with a frought hand, you palmed at your growing erection, stiffening length pressed tight against the front of your pants, begging for the friction that would lead to release.

"And don't even think about gaining any pleasure from this yourself. Take your useless, clumsy hands away from yourself and keep your focus on this task."

He brought down the countless sheets of paper with a loud smack, enough of them clenched in his fist to make some impact on your chest. You had thought his attention was focused solely on those, his various plans and screeds of unintelligible writing, but you supposed he might actually find it difficult to concentrate now, despite his insistence to the contrary.

Clearly, this was not going to be all fun, but you could get what you needed from knowing Eddie was pleased, at least.

"One thing at a time, you idiot, you can barely afford the brain power to take on one chore, do not add another. I want all of your attention on my needs. No. Not. Not needs. Please, just focus that incessant wagging tongue and that wandering mind on me only. As it should always be."

He had faltered a little, letting some inner thoughts slip. He wasn't all that clever, not socially, and you found him often letting little things slide through the carefully constructed facade that he wore for everyone around, even himself. But he managed to reset himself, finding his control once more, that little bit of elevation from degrading you that pushed his ego back out in front.

"I do believe that this might be the best use for that incessant mouth of yours yet. So quiet, so peaceful. That is the only reason you're there, beneath me. To keep you from wittering on and bothering me."

You wondered, silently, if he knew the effect that his cruel words had on you. And if he knew, would he be worse? Or would he withold that delight from you as a sinister punishment.

Your fingers twitched as you considered it, almost moving once again to your cock, but you found something else for them to focus on, letting them curl around Eddie's ankles, steadying him as you pressed your tongue deeper into him. Each digit clawed at his grimy work boots, at the torn cuffs of his pants, as you tried to restrai your needs. But you could feel your hips moving, grinding into the air, helplessly, hopelessly, trying to relieve the pressure behind your zipper.

So instead, you focused on putting all of your effort into Eddie. Every so often, when he lifted himself to let you breathe, you could see his balls tightening, raising, his cock so erect you couldn't see it from this angle, completely stiff and out straight. You lapped furiously, teeth scraping against his cheeks where they could find purchase, tongue firm, strained, as you tried to get deeper within him, finding yourself groaning as his hole opened and closed. His taste on your tongue and at the back of your throat, salted sweat between his cheeks adding to the culinary delight. His scent, the musky odour from his ass, hard work and sacrifice creating a unique assault on the senses.

And your efforts proved fruitful, as Eddie let out his own soft sound of what could only be appreciation. He was quick, however, to discount it.

"Please, don't read that reaction as anything more than an involuntary biological response, I am still human after all. This is pleasant only for the fact that I have yet to hear you distract me from my work."

He hadn't expected a response, didn't want one. But that didn't mean you weren't going to push your luck in the brief moment you had where your mouth wasn't buried between his ass cheeks.

"Yes, sir."

It was risky, perhaps a little too flirtatious to be looked over, maybe viewed as unwarranted affection that would likely make Eddie angrier. And what you were really hoping for was an outcome that involved a more relaxed boss to work alongside for the rest of the day, and perhaps a repeat tomorrow when you purposefully pushed his buttons once more.

#finnie writes #arkham riddler #arkham edward nigma #riddler x reader #arkhamverse riddler #the riddler #arkhamverse #riddler #the riddler imagine #riddler smut #the riddler fanfic #riddler fanfic #riddler x you #edward nigma x reader #edward nigma #arkham!riddler #the riddler fanfiction #arkham!verse

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star-eat3r · 1 month ago

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✿SBG x Academically smart reader✿

I don’t know who did, but someone requested a sbg x academically smart reader and I lost it💔. But I did take a screenshot :D

Although I do appreciate the compliment and I still have a long way to go to be popular lmao!!

I hope you enjoy :)!

(The screenshot for the person who requested it)

The week of finals.

Everyone hated it so no doubt why everyone was on edge from not just demanding teachers and grades but because of their little predicament with the phantom realm.

Being so mentally stressed is bad enough so to make it worse it was finals.

The group was gathered in the school bus they touched up since they started hanging out, it became the usual hangout spot at Ashlyn’s and it was cozy enough to hold study sessions while helping each other with different subjects of homework.

Although the entire reason for being present was to study. Aiden, as per usual, just didn’t do it but every now and then Ben tried keeping him in line every single time.

The tension was high but the focus was slowly just becoming nonexistent.

[Y/N] sat cross legged with a few big textbooks from AP classes filled to the brim with color coded sticky notes for almost every note and fact. They were just simply going and rereading some lines to write down notes for a study guide in one of their classes when Logan just poked their shoulder softly to catch their attention for a teensy moment.

“I know that once we mix them they become a substance but I can’t find the correct description of it in the textbooks.” he pushed his glasses up as he pointed at the ones used in the regular Biology classes.

At the moment everyone was working on making flashcards and getting info from various books and sources, so it was necessary to ask for help.

“Borrow mine, i should have noted something about it down. Just check the sticky notes they’re all organized!” they passed their textbook to him to which he thanked with a quick smile before going back to the flashcard before him.

Taylor looked up from her book and stared at the arrangement of books and sticky notes, “You really are prepared! I’m surprised you’re not dying with suppressed stress right now!”.

They giggled before taking a sip of their water, “I’m always prepared, especially when you guys aren’t I feel like I’m a tinge better than you all!”.

They smiled while grabbing a highlighter and putting the important notes in acidic yellow marker. They knew they didn’t mean the words in a harsh way, more playful really, so no one really made a comment about it.

Surprisingly not even Tyler.

Too focused on Math notes.

Ashlyn inhaled before leaning back into her English cards and looking at them back and forth before sighing hard, “These don’t even match each other correctly, how the heck are they correctly connected?”.

“Page 156 on Molecular Dynamics.” Unsure to take [Y/N]’s word for it she checked, and it was correct”Oh…thanks..”.

“How are you not tweaking out right now? Cuz honestly I would.” Aiden sat upside down on one of the bus seats, Ben on his left trying to get him to recite and practice with flashcards.

Tyler rolled his eyes and muttered while biting the eraser of his pencil still stuck on one problem, “when do you not…”.

“Because if i fall apart or make a singular misstep, then we all fail our classes and get eaten alive from the phantoms!” They offered a tight smile, just wanting to concentrate on writing down notes.

“So then what?” Tyler looked up from his math notebook, “You’re immune to stress and pressure now?”.

They didn’t answer immediately as they were just highlighting and highlighting. Hoping if the others got the mini silence a hint of not wanting to be bothered anymore.

“Nah, just don’t appreciate the noise so I cancel it out to avoid the stress. Plus the noise and pressure are exhausting!” [Y/N] said with a strained tone as if backing down from sounded rude.

“That doesn’t make sense.” Tyler deadpanned as Aiden threw a flashcard his way. “Your face doesn’t make sense.” Aiden’s laugh echoed around the bus as Tyler threw something back at him.

[Y/N] sighed as silence consumed them all, whether they’re doing work or not, it was peaceful. “Did anyone do the essay for Chem in Mr. Smith’s class?” Aiden spoke while holding an empty piece of paper.

Nevermind no silence.

“I think [Y/N] did!” Taylor chirped not looking up from her textbook. “Ah- I think I didn’t get the right formula, [Y/N] which page was it?” Logan asked while looking at the borrowed book.

“[Y/N] can you quiz me on this later?”

“Can you explain photosynthesis but in like Aiden terms?”

“Was this the formula?”

“Hey [Y/NNN]!! Can you help me with the Chem essay!!”

“Hey! Are you listening—?”

Questions and voices piled up in an instant. They didn’t even look up or say anything, just highlighting. Hand was shaky and already poorly highlighting something that it was getting wobbly.

The last straw was the moment Ben placed his hand on their shoulder in concern. The pencil that was barely in their hand snapped the second they felt the contact. Ben immediately retracted his hand away and stepping back to give space.

The room got quiet and stilled.

As if time stopped.

[Y/N] exhaled through their nose but keeping their eyes open on the open textbook. “Y’know..” they began, voice kinda wavering “I tried to be the organized and composed one of the group. The ‘You guys go! I have a foolproof plan!’ type of person.”.

”Because apparently, if I don’t memorize every city map or- or- every math or chemistry formula we either die or fail!””[Y/N]—“ They put their finger up to stop Taylor, already having their head turned to show their tired expression “I’m not done.”.

They stood up slowly and turned to them, but didn’t yell. The words instead had a sort of sharp age to them “But no. Instead of at least trying to figure it out yourself for once, it’s ’Nah! Let’s just throw everything we don’t know what to do to the human calculator like they’re not a person too and need a break!’. I can’t fix everything! And maybe— just maybe— I’m one centimeter from punching a phantom in the face once we go back to that- that-.”.

It was too much, too much that words were being fumbled and stumbled upon.

“So…should we do our own flashcards now—?” Ashlyn harshly hit Aiden in the ribcage to make him shut up.

“We didn’t know you were holding this much together,” Taylor stood up and walked towards [Y/N] and brought them to sit back down on the ground with her “I’m sorry if we’ve been putting so much on you when you needed to focus on yourself too.”.

“Sorry…” Ashlyn avoided her gaze feeling a twinge of guilt for asking a lot “you’re allowed to stress as well so it wasn’t really good for us to use you for everything like that”.

“How about a break for now? We could continue later?” Ben wrote on his notebook which made Taylor smile and nod. “Sure why not, we all need it.” Tyler shrugged as he was quick to put the math worksheets away.

“I still don’t know what to do for the essay in Chemistry guys—“ Aiden held up the paper with a smile and staring into it as if it’d disintegrate from his gaze.

“Aiden!” Everyone, well almost, Ben gaze a stare, chorused as they stopped in place to say the guys name.

“Sorry!” He held his hands in surrender as the paper fell but he picked it up before it got dirty.

Taylor wiped some stray tears on [Y/N]’s face as Ashlyn and Logan picked up the books and papers. Ben and Aiden just setting up the projector they set in the bus to put a mini film for the time being.

Silence mostly clung in the air. I mean why else? [Y/N] was always calm and composed, yet kind to others willing to help them, never seen stressing except in the times they’ve been stuck in a pickle during the phantom hours.

Eventually the pressure and weight they hold would come to them.

“Peace offering?” Aiden put a can of [favorite drink] in front of their face as they looked up at him with a calmer expression. “Thanks..” opening the can and taking a few sips.

The film played in low volume as everyone just watched it. Aiden and Tyler still bickered back and forth before getting scolded by Ashlyn.

Now it was a comfortable atmosphere for the time being rather than a tense one.

Although Aiden never figured out how to do the essay for Chemistry and got a big fat zero the following week.

#aiden sbg #taylor sbg #ashlyn sbg #tyler sbg #ben sbg #logan sbg #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#sbg fic #x reader #sbg x reader #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard x reader #request

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shadowycherryblossomkitten · 2 months ago

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Artwork I did but also here's some information on Renata!

Renata is a character that's still a work in progress so stuff could change in her bio I'm split between making her half human or a human.

Info:

Her name isn't a real name by the way her original name is Violet Aster, born into a family that had a stable life and good wealth it was simple but she was happy with her that and who wouldn't be? Her father was an archeologist traveling to many countries around the world his research being on demonology and his curiosity of the being named Sparda, one day he brings something home to do research Renata grew curious of the dagger wanted to look at the odd object that was what looked to be made from bone. Her father forbade her to go near it for the time being until he had proper equipment for themselves to look at the object since he knew how she was when it came to his research, ever and always curious.

Thus the day her good life takes a halt, her family is slaughtered by demons, nearly on the cusp of death the dagger reveals itself to her in her time of need and urgency. Granting her a deal of survival and vengeance and to become her blade in exchange for a promise it made a long time ago. ( I am still trying to figure that out my brain is legit dead so bare with me. )

The weapon revealed its name to be " Donn. " and acts as a mentor... And an annoying one at that. Donn is a demon arm yes, but like any other demon relies on it's instincts and survival sometimes taking control of her when needed if a situation becomes too dire. She uses the money that she obtained from her family to investigate into the demons from her own fathers research taking everything else with her but leaving her home behind to live in a secluded apartment building now doing her research on Sparda.

After the events of dmc 3 happened these two goobers, ( Dante and Renata ) become " good friends " with eachother that were once enemies, now working and living together. Funny how that happens. But now for some wholesome stuff here.

Because of being reminded of the past, Renata will have breakdowns not wanting to be bothered by anyone. What she had to lose has really affected her and typically just wants to be left alone, Dante tends to try to help make her feel better, he sneakily steals her sketchbook to write or scribble things in it ( btw this leads to her to getting a new seperate one because he kept drawing on all of the blank pages, she doesn't mind it however, ) usually asking " do you want to talk? " " you want to get pizza? " " I got us Icecream! " and so on sometimes goofy stuff which she secretly enjoys and finds it cute.

( bro I fucking love cute headcanons they make me feel so damn happy let these two be happy fr on god bro RGFGRUEH )

Alright that's all I got. For now as I said there will still be some changes and rewriting ( also not the best writer like I said I am still also trying to figure out lore and timelines because as I've said I don't wanna look like dumb dumb whilst also having some creative freedom. ) also I dunno if I should do Oc x canon so it's why I put the quotes on them being friends. Too shy to do it man lmao.

#oc #original character #art #artwork #digital art #oc art #headcanon #character bio #digital artist #artists on tumblr #small artist #fan character #character information #devil may cry oc #dmc oc #dmc #devil may cry

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gimme-that-felix-content · 3 months ago

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Tell us your hcs and thoughts when it comes to Felix, I need some content of that blonde british boy 😭

I already spoke one time about his eyes, I started drawing the whites of his eyes with a bit of a bluish hue - it's something that you wouldn't notice if you weren't looking for it, but it's a remnant from when his amok broke that one time.

I also hc him and kagami break up and get back together years later when they're adults but whateverr

My thoughts is that they should give him a new outfit for s6 PLEASE, though I'm not sure I'd even like it if they did because the new looks for the characters seem to be associated with them getting some cool character development and I desperately don't want him to be part of the team fgedfghd so if they give him character development where he becomes friends with everyone I will hate it probably ToT

I just like him as a loner. At the same time I think he should realize that he's lonely and it kinda sucks, but also... he is literally the 'i won't trust anyone with my problems and do it myself in the most shady way possible' guy. Making friends is not his priority at all. I guess he only asks for help when he's completely out of options? And him asking Marinette for help in representation was prompted by Kagami anyway lmao. He doesn't want anyone's help, I don't even know if it ever crossed his mind to ask, he doesn't trust anyone enough I guess. But I like that about him, I think it really separates him from the main team of heroes and I enjoy that, i hope he stays like that.

Another thing I like about his character is his selfishness, because, let's be real, he pretty much bargained the safety of everyone in Paris for the Peacock Miraculous. Not nice... But I love that. I love that his selfishness clearly stems from self-preservation. In the end he puts his own safety above everyone else's, and though he cares about Adrien, it's obvious that Felix's number one priority is Felix lmao. Like, the only person whose life he could maybe put above his own is his mom. And that stems from his trauma and from his obvious desire to live <- I really admire this part about him, because he's got his tragic past, and yeah, he's not the most well adjusted person but he's pretty optimistic about life, he's not wallowing in his past but seems to want to put it all behind to get to the 'good part' or something.

I reaaally like how much separates Felix from the other characters and the entire team miraculous (or whatever it's called). My biggest dream would be to have him do his own thing completely or almost completely separate from the rest of the cast (like he's been doing so far tbh) and to stay like that forever. I want him to take that Miraculous and go on some journey of self discovery where he unveils some weird secrets or info about the miraculous and gets into trouble a bunch of times and then just shows up in the main plot every now and then lmao

Not sure yet about all my thoughts, with the messy direction felix had at times, I'm like, what if they take him in the opposite direction than I think they will sfdfdgfd. I'm anxiously awaiting his appearance in season 6!!!!!!

#gimme talk #oh I didn't say hes ace HES ACE

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crescentpaws · 7 months ago

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kotlc pokémon au!

gonna share some info abt my kotlc pokémon au here for anyone interested :> (i’ve had this in my head for yearsss but @queefsencen has inspired me to share it here now)

(also yes i have lots of drawings but they’re all old and i hate them… so you’re just getting text for now. more drawings coming soon i promiseeee)

anyway. all under cut bc it’s longgg (talking about world building as well as the characters)

(have put more thought into this than i should have)

——————

everyone still has their abilities; most people choose their pokémon based on their ability (ex. fire types for pyrokinetics, water types for hydrokinetics, etc.) but some people choose to ignore typing (and some pick pokemon based on the certain moves they can learn or what their pokédex entries say)

also, since they can light leap all over the world, it’s much easier to find regional variants

- ever since pyrokinesis was banned, it’s illegal to own a fire-type pokémon (with some exceptions) (but they’re still allowed to roam around freely of course. they’re just less common now because no one catches them anymore)

- psionipaths almost always have pokémon that can learn shielding moves (such as protect)

- physicians always have at least one healing pokémon

- lots of kids at foxfire want or have an eevee, because eevees usually evolve according to which ability the kids manifest (jolteons, flareons, and vaporeons evolving with an ability manifestation don’t require evolution stones)

- some ancients have a mythical/legendary pokémon

- vociferators and beguilers almost always have pokémon that can learn moves that are affected by the voice

- pokémon that enter the seat of eminence usually glow with the spotlight color that best matches their typing (sophie’s espeon glows red though—which is unusual because psychic types normally glow blue—because it evolved when sophie inflicted on everyone at the end of book 1)

- when pokémon enter the mysterious place known as elysian, they gain the ability to terrastalize for some reason (wild stellar type tera pokemon can also be found there)

- goblins are machokes (queen is a machamp, younglings are machops)

- dwarves: drilbur -> excadrill

- gnomes are bellossoms

- haven’t thought of the species for ogres or trolls yet tho (if anyone has any suggestions feel free to tell me lmao)

- ^^ it’s considered very immoral to catch and train one of the intelligent species pokémon (+ they can all talk similar to how team rocket’s meowth can)

- (winged) galarian rapidash = the alicorns (occasionally fight when necessary)

- haven’t finalized the gym leaders or elite 4 yet so. i’ll get back to that later. (the nobility = the pokémon league basically. they do other stuff still of course but that’s a big part of their jobs)

——————

characters:

(don’t have set pokémon really, these are just my ideas so far. feel free to give suggestions for any of them!)

-> sophie

partner - espeon (psychic) — given to her as an eevee by alden so nobody at foxfire would suspect that she already had an ability; evolved when sophie inflicted for the “first” time at the end of book 1 (the red gem on its forehead represents the red light that shoots out of sophie’s forehead when she inflicts now)

altaria (dragon-flying) — this is the pokemon species that is supposed to represent moonlarks (given to her by mr. forkle). can mega evolve (which she learned how to do after she had her abilities reset in legacy)

phanpy (ground) — caught this pokemon because it looked like her plushie ella (she even named it after her)

raichu (alolan form) (electric-psychic) — used to be kenric’s pokemon; given to her by oralie at the same time she was given kenric’s cache at the beginning of book 4

grafaiai (poison-normal) — iggy (caught by her but rarely used in battle)

possibly could get a deoxys? since of course the black swan would have access to a mythical pokemon smh. and it’s literally the dna pokemon and it’s a psychic type and it shoots lasers out of its chest AND it can learn teleport and psychic. and it’s red.

-> fitz

partner - meowstic (psychic) — male form. good friends with sophie’s espeon

gallade (psychic-fighting)

girafarig (normal-psychic)

slowbro (water-psychic)

-> keefe

partner - thievul (dark) — mischievous fox pokémon for his fox bff in unraveled :> though i think he would have already had this pokémon (he caught it as a nickit, and it evolved when he was with the neverseen) his parents don’t like this pokémon because of all the trouble it causes, and because of the fact that empaths usually work with fairy type pokémon more often

klefki (steel-fairy) — he calls his klefki “klef-keefe” because he thinks he’s hilarious. this pokemon is where most of the credit for all the break-ins into dame alina’s office should go to

granbull (fairy)

morgrem (dark-fairy) — has the prankster ability

-> biana

partner - oricorio (ghost-flying) — had since before she manifested, since her mom is a ghost type trainer and gave her the purple nectar needed to change its form

mimikyu (ghost-fairy) — shiny (because of course biana would have a shiny pokémon. i think she probably used to shiny hunt a lot when she had more free time as a kid)

gothitelle (psychic)

tsareena (grass) — shiny

would probably also have one of those special cosplay pikachus from or/as. she’d be a fan of the heart pattern on its tail & she’d love dressing it up in cute outfits <3

-> dex

partner - goodra (dragon) — given to him as a goomy by kesler when he started helping him out at slurps & burps

togedemaru (electric-steel)

klinklang (steel)

porygon2 (normal) — created as a porygon by dex himself (made during his time in alluveterre)

rotom (electric-ghost) — takes on lots of different forms depending on the situation; helps him hack machines

-> linh

partner - vaporeon (water) — quan and mai refused to give both twins an eevee, so tam let linh have the only one they were willing to give. went with her to exillium and helped her gain control of her ability

corsola (water-rock) — linh wasn’t able to catch this pokemon until much later, since she and tam didn’t have access to pokéballs until they met the black swan

lumineon (water)

probably gets a milotic later (or maybe a dragonair)

-> tam

partner - zoroark (dark) — tam was given a single empty pokéball by quan and mai after he let linh have the eevee. when he and linh left, he was able to catch a zorua in one of the forests in the neutral territories

umbreon (dark) — used to be umber’s partner, was given to him by gisela after umber died and he was forced to join the neverseen. since escaping, he’s refused to use this pokémon in battle or even take it out of its pokéball

-> marella

partner - flareon (fire) — an eevee she had before she manifested (obviously became a flareon). lied to the council and said that the flareon evolved by accidentally touching a fire stone (but she wasn’t permitted to take it out of its pokéball again until they approved her training)

charmeleon (fire) — gifted as a charmander by forkle when the council approved her training

vulpix (fire) — fintan has a ninetails so this is an interesting parallel

pansear (fire)

-> wylie

partner - raichu (electric) — kanto form

heliolisk (electric-normal)

ampharos (electric) — cyrah’s old pokémon (was a flaaffy when she died)

boltund (electric)

-> stina

partner - sylveon (fairy) — yeah, stina was another foxfire kid who had an eevee that evolved alongside her

bruxish (water-psychic)

rapidash (galarian form) (psychic-fairy) — a normal rapidash obviously, not winged

mudsdale (ground)

-> maruca

partner - cinccino (normal) — knows protect; maruca dyed a strand of this pokémon’s hair blue to match her own

azumarill (water-fairy) — knows protect

pelipper (water-flying) — knows protect

sunflora (grass) — knows protect

-> rayni

partner - liepard (dark) — shiny (this is her “sparkly cat” she’s always talking about)

morpeko (electric/dark)

heliolisk (electric-normal) — shiny (for some reason, flashers have an easier time finding shiny pokémon than people with other abilities do. something about the perception of light or whatever)

pawmot (electric-fighting)

whismur (normal) — bc it’s silly. & rayni reminds me of zinnia from or/as a bit (she keeps it unevolved tho bc loudred is so ugly….)

-> mr forkle

(both of them have the same pokémon)

partner - reuniclus (psychic)

ditto (normal)

beheeyem (psychic)

+ sir astin has a solrock (rock-psychic) and magnate leto has a starmie (water-psychic)

-> juline (squall)

partner - ninetails (alolan form) (ice-fairy)

glaceon (ice) — yes, juline was an eevee kid too

froslass (ice-ghost)

sawsbuck (normal-grass) — winter form

-> elwin

partner - linoone (normal) — bullhorn (has the strange death-sensing abilities that bullhorn has, as well)

solosis (psychic) — shining certain light through this pokémon has the same sort of effect that elwin’s special glasses do (though he still prefers to use the glasses for convenience. but this pokémon is always a good backup) also it’s the cell pokémon so

bellibolt (electric) — silly glowy frog guy. seems pretty elwin-esque to me (also could act as some sort of defibrillator if needed)

-> livvy

masquerain (bug-flying)

comfey (fairy) — its aroma has healing qualities, which is extremely helpful with livvy’s physician work

vivillon (bug-flying) — elegant form

(not sure what her partner pokémon should be though…)

-> jolie

partner - swanna (water-flying) — when sophie enters prentice’s broken mind, he takes the form of jolie’s pokémon instead of jolie herself. this pokémon also perished in the fire

-> oralie

partner - gardevoir (psychic-fairy)

blissey (normal)

hatterene (psychic-fairy)

alcremie (fairy) — ruby swirl + love sweet form

polteageist (ghost)

-> bronte

partner - persian (normal) — i chose this pokémon partly because the red gem on its forehead would match sophie’s espeon (which it sort of mentors now), and also it’s a pokémon that like. usually doesn’t like other people. so it’s fitting. also she was bffs with fintan’s victini (they were gfs. pokemon doomed yuri). also coincidentally has a curly tail which is so funny to me

hydreigon (dark-dragon)

marshadow (fighting-ghost) — mythical pokémon

also has an alolan persian (dark type) that he uses in official pokémon battles (bc i think the elite 4 = the four most powerful councillors. and he would definitely be a dark type trainer so. i think this persian would be like the cousin of the other one or something lmao)

will add kenric later bc i can’t think of anything for him rn… (other than the raichu)

-> alina

partner - meloetta (normal) — mythical pokémon. her having this rare & powerful pokémon (it was passed down through her family over generations) was one of the main reasons she was elected to the council

primarina (water-fairy) — “its singing voice is its chief weapon in battle” (pokédex entry)

milotic (water)

wigglytuff (normal-fairy) — used to be a jigglypuff that would lull people to sleep with its singing

-> alden

partner - slowking (water-psychic) — related to fitz’s slowbro

alakazam (psychic)

unown (psychic) haven’t thought of which specific form though… probably a v for vacker or something. helps him with deciphering ancient runes & stuff

-> della

partner - froslass (ice-ghost)

sneasel (hisuian form) (fighting-poison)

chandelure (ghost-fire) — caught after she joined the black swan because she’s already joining an illegal rebellion, why not have an illegal fire type pokémon as well? also i think it’s funny having a vacker have a chandelier pokémon.

sinistcha (grass-ghost)

jellicent (water-ghost) — female form

-> grady

(despite being a mesmer, he doesn’t enjoy using psychic types that much)

hypno (psychic) — he doesn’t like using it in battle often, but it helps him calm down rowdy animals in the pastures at havenfield

tyrantrum (rock-dragon) — verdi! she’s shiny, but for some reason appears more green than blue. a pokémon that doesn’t obey very often

raticate (alolan form) (dark-normal) — the verminion

(winged) gouging fire (fire-dragon) — the gorgodon; created by the neverseen. grady was the one to officially catch this pokémon, but it rarely listens to him so he almost never uses it in battle (plus it’s a fire type so it’s heavily monitored. he’s only allowed to have it because he’s the one attempting to rehabilitate it)

-> edaline

partner - meganium (grass) — flower dinosaur pokémon! which i think is fitting

kangaskhan (normal) — “parent pokémon”

aurorus (rock-ice) — raised from an amaura with the help of her sister (who is an expert in ice types)

leafeon (grass)

lilligant (hisuian form) (grass-fighting) — this is the pokémon that fights for her the most often

-> kesler

muk (alolan form) (poison-dark) — helps out at slurps & burps (‘helps’ in the loosest sense…)

ditto (normal) — uses elixirs to change its color often, so sometimes people will think it’s a shiny. don’t be fooled! it is not!!! kesler is just being silly

weezing (poison)

-> rex

partner - stufful (normal-fighting)

tangela (grass)

teddiursa (normal) — was caught around the same time as his siblings manifested, since he was jealous that they were catching new pokémon and he wasn’t

-> bex

partner - skitty (normal)

-> lex

vanillite (ice) — a fairly new pokemon, was caught (with help from his mom) after he manifested as a froster

-> fintan

partner - victini (psychic-fire) — mythical pokémon, played a part in the everblaze incident and the pyrokinesis ban. however, fintan refused to keep it in its pokéball after fire types were banned, since he thought it was unfair to punish a pokémon for something that was mostly his own fault. though victini was still severely traumatized by the death of its fellow fire-type pokémon friends

ninetails (fire) — shiny

delphox (fire-psychic)

centiskorch (fire-bug) — can gigantamax. also shiny. i think as a councillor he would have been very fond of shiny pokémon.

-> vespera

partner - diancie (rock-fairy) — mythical pokémon; transformed from a carbink (with the help of her scientific meddling)

hatterene (psychic-fairy) — way more aggressive than oralie’s (to show the difference in their empath abilities)

serperior (grass) — old partner, caught snivy as a starter pokémon when she was a kid (before she manifested)

dracovish (water-dragon) — shiny; mismatched fossil pokémon that was the result of an experiment

cursola (ghost)

all of these pokémon were confiscated when she was arrested, but she was able to get them back when lumenaria fell

-> gisela

partner - weavile (dark-ice)

froslass (ice-ghost) (i am not immune to giving pretty women this pokemon)

glimmora (rock-poison) — “glimmora's petals are made of crystallized poison energy” (pokédex entry); caught while she was collecting those special explosive crystals from elysian (was revealed to the main squad during their battle there)

-> brant

partner - typhlosion (fire) — given to him as a cyndaquil by fintan when he started training him; kept secret from the council until he was outed as a neverseen member. when brant and jolie got into their fight, he challenged her to a pokémon battle, and this was the pokémon that sparked the flames that killed her

turtonator (fire-dragon)

marowak (alolan form) (fire-ghost) — its ultra moon pokédex entry is “when it beats opponents with its bone, the cursed flames spread to them. no amount of water will stop those flames from burning.” which sounds very everblaze-y to me

-> alvar

partner - sableye (dark-ghost)

trevenant (ghost-grass)

runerigus (ground-ghost) — kept secret from his family until he was discovered to be a neverseen member

-> gethen

slowking (galarian form) (poison-psychic) — knows amnesia and confusion; helps wash memories

golduck (water)

aegislash (steel-ghost) — stole from lumenaria (the sword)

-> umber

partner - umbreon (dark) — this pokémon is what she decided to name herself after. was later given to tam by gisela after umber died

zoroark (hisuian form) (normal-ghost) — another parallel to tam

absol (dark)

#will probably edit this & add more characters later…. but i wanted to share what i have so far #i’ve had this in my drafts for a while too #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc au #kotlc pokemon au #pokemon #crescentpost

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tryingahandinholdingapen · 4 months ago

Text

okay so I'm prefacing this with the fact that I have very little reasoning for why I came up with this. It was partly because I was trying to think of a reason why Hashirama is the only (naturally occuring) mokuton user in canon, partly because I wanted an excuse to have Tobirama be way too casual about poison (this is the fault of @.doveywovey and one particular scene in Without A Softeness Showing bc now I'm obsessed with tobiizu+poison), partly to have an excuse for Tobirama being p set on an outclan spouse, partly bc I wanted to incorporate the fun idea of Hashirama/mokuton pollen type stuff that I've seen in a few fics...

okay so actually there was a fair bit of reasoning behind it I guess. oops. anyway. I should get to the actual idea shouldn't I?

Please take for granted that I am assuming the way bloodline limits + related inheritance works is more akin to magic rules than genetics. Like genetics definitely play a part but the way some bloodline limits manifest in every person (e.g. Hyuuga's and Uchiha's respective doujustu) and some don't (e.g. Senju's mokuton), and the way some are identical in every person (Hyuuga's doujustu) and some aren't (different mangekyou manifestations for Uchiha) and so on and so forth is not something I can wrap my head around if it only comes down to genetics

Which, I don't know, for all I know that's me being uneducated, maybe there is a way to make all the canon info about bloodline limits make sense purely based on genetics/DNA! But like if there is, I don't know it, so I'm saying bloodline limits are a little based on genetics and quite a bit based on magic-type rules I.e. we don't know chakra is just weird like that it's how it works

....this is already long and I haven't even got to my actual idea yet. have a read more

okay I have no idea what order to put my thoughts in for this to make maximum sense so if any of it makes no sense feel free to ask I absolutely love talking about ideas, mine or others

A few things we're going to be taken as granted as a foundation for other ideas here: Hashirama is the only mokuton user in a pretty long time (Tenzo doesn't count bc this would be a warring clans fic if I wrote it and also he's a result of experimentation), and the mokuton is really incredibly ridiculously overpowered, and upon first manifestation of mokuton (let's say that's age like, 6-8) it is NOT possible to control properly you have to learn that shit. We're also going to take that idea a few fics use wherein Hashirama can use pollen or whatever to poison/arouse/sedate/paralyse/whatever because that's fun

but wait! you say, if there's a baby 6 year old Hashirama with access to immensely overpowered mokuton-poison, and no way yet to control it...how did that not end terribly?

I'm glad you asked! The answer is, in my hc, if you wrote out all the things you can do with mokuton it would be a pretty short list (though admittedly each bulletpoint would have mildly horrifying/overwhelming implications) whereas you wrote out all the things the Senju do/have, as a result of their actions or culture or genetics/bloodline that is PURELY to prevent them being directly or indirectly fucked over by the same mokuton that helps them so much... Well. One list would be like ten times the length of the other, put it that way lmao

One of the things that helps prevent their clan getting fucked over by the same thing that brings them so much strength + has helped them through so many winters/famines is the existence of 'mokuton secondary'

This is what Tobirama has, it's the 'not dying to mokuton' bloodline limit. Because that's literally what it does. Don't get me wrong the benefits of this bloodline limit are absolutely useful in other ways, but the PURPOSE of this is to ensure that at least some people don't die to unintentional poison or overenthusiastic (cough violent cough) plant growth from a young mokuton-user

I'm thinking it makes you faster (dodge the sudden spear branches!), gives you a strong immunity to poisons/drugs/etc (hurrah for surviving Hashirama trying to learn how pollen works) and also gives...not bullshit fast healing/regen like Hashirama has, but. Something. Less 'fast healing' more 'slow dying' -> an injury that might kill another shinobi in ten minutes would take eleven minutes to kill Tobirama (or anyone else with the same 'not dying to mokuton' bloodline limit) and whilst the average shinobi might do permanent damage to themself after walking on a broken bone for 30 minutes Tobirama could manage at least 40 minutes before he had to worry about that

This ability (the 'slow dying') is essentially based in the idea that its sole purpose is to NOT die to mokuton, and since this bloodline primarily manifests in direct relatives of a mokuton user, its assumed that the mokuton user isn't INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt you and therefore you mostly just need extra time to get the fuck out of dodge and or for the mokuton user to regain control

Mokuton secondary does also make you heal slightly faster but it really is only SLIGHTLY like if you were actively looking for it and spent five years documenting cases you MIGHT notice but that's about it, it's a teeny tiny boost

Mokuton secondary also weakens over time because its main purpose is to protect you from accidents/lack of control and it's assumed that those will decrease over time as the user e.g. Hashirama gains control and experience

Yes this does mean that baby Tobirama was quite possibly sigbificantly faster than (pre-Hiraishin) fully grown Tobirama. Because bloodline limit cheat

Let's talk about inheritance now

Okay I'm assuming that nearly everybody born to the Senju clan (as opposed to being adopted in or marrying in) has potential to develop, or for their kids to develop, mokuton like Hashirama has. These people have 'mokuton primary potential' - it's the main bloodline limit/variant of their clan (thus primary) but they don't actually have it themselves they just have the potential

The mokuton Hashirama has is 'mokuton primary manifest'

And then there's the aforementioned 'mokuton secondary manifest' that Tobirama has

'Mokuton secondary potential' doesn't exist, you either have it manifest or you don't

(Reminder again that I'm basing this in chakra/magic rules more than genetics, that's about to be relevent)

Okay. So there's two people, let's say Butsuma and uhhhhh Aiko sure that's a name, and they both have primary mokuton potential. And they have a kid (Hashirama) and they don't know it yet bc mokuton primary doesn't develop until age 6-8, but that kid is a mokuton user. Now I'm saying that although not usable/noticable until 6-8, mokuton primary manifest has a notable effect on the chakra system even within the womb (though in the warring clans era they have no way of testing for this) and so when Aiko is pregnant with Hashirama something in her own chakra goes 'DING that's a child with mokuton primary manifest okay we don't need this anymore (forcibly changes her mokuton primary potential into mokuton secondary manifest)'

The purpose of this is of course so that the mother of a mokuton user (Hashirama) isn't accidentally murdered by their own child. I can't decide whether or not the sire (in this case Butsuma) also has their chakra forcibly changed or not, and if it is changed, when. All options there have potential to be very funny and or angsty

Okay now people can have varying amounts of potential for mokuton primary (like how it's not 'brown hair' vs 'not brown hair' etc there's a whole spectrum of colour), but mokuton secondary is yes or no. And if one parent has mokuton secondary then THAT is the one passed down, NOT mokuton primary - so the younger siblings of a mokuton user will always have mokuton secondary, which is good because that means that they (Hashirama) also can't accidentally murder their baby siblings

Any older siblings are fucked though lmao. Because the bearer (and sire?) get mokuton secondary after the mokuton user is conceived, and so do any subsequent younger children, but any older siblings of a mokuton user would have ended up with a) nothing or b) mokuton primary potential. So it's a good thing Hashirama was the first born otherwise there's an incredibly high chance he could have accidentally murdered his elder siblings. Hashirama's kids won't have mokuton secondary though they'd have mokuton primary (potential or manifest) bc again it's assumed that if a mokuton user is old enough to have kids they're old enough to control their bloodline limit

Mokuton secondary only ever manifests as basically a reaction to mokuton primary, and then doesn't last that long. Like if Tobirama had kids with someone who had no bloodline limit of their own, the kids would have mokuton secondary and the grandkids MIGHT have mokuton secondary, but after that? Great-grandkids and on, would have nothing

There's several reasons that the Senju clan tries their absolute best to maximise the number of people with mokuton primary potential whilst also limiting or at least somewhat controlling the number of kids with mokuton secondary manifest. Here's a list:

- I'll elaborate more on this in another post/in a reblog, but further hc that it's actually incredibly complicated to get a kid with mokuton primary manifest. But basically theres a whole shit ton of requirements beyond just having mokuton potential. This means they need as many people as possible with the potential, to increase the chances of someone with the manifest

- Mokuton users result in a whole bunch of ppl with mokuton secondary

- Ppl with mokuton secondary inevitably result in more ppl with mokuton secondary, if they reproduce

- Mokuton secondary cannot exist on its own without mokuton primary. Doesn't happen. It dies out within 2 generations and then crops back up when a new mokuton user does

- People with ANY form of mokuton at all only applies to people born into the Senju to at least one parent who had mokuton potential; and a v large proportion of the Senju clan at any given time married/adopted in

The result of all those bulletpoints added together is that basically, if they maximise the amount of people with mokuton primary potential and minimise the amount of people with mokuton secondary, then the clan functionally has two bloodline limits (or at least, two manifestations of one bloodline limit) available

But if they DON'T do that then inevitably they will at some point end up with a population in which nobody has a high enough mokuton primary potential to actually produce a kid with the mokuton primary manifest

(This could happen via ppl with mokuton secondary effectively killing off potential for primary, or via ppl who adopted/married in passing on their lack of mokuton potential, or too many ppl with no/low mokuton potential reproducing with others who ALSO had no/low mokuton potential)

So mokuton primary would essentially die out. And because mokuton secondary only lasts two generations before it dies out in absence of anyone with mokuton primary manifest, that would die out fairly soon after too. And then the Senju clan would be forever left with no bloodline limit to their name

They don't want that to happen

Therefore it's generally expected that when marrying/having kids you should consider as a factor how much mokuton potential your kids are likely to end up with. It's not necessarily the defining or most important factor or anything (probably at least one clan elder disagrees but eh) but it IS a factor you should consider carefully.

(Possibly they can measure/guesstimate how much mokuton primary someone has but not if it's potential or manifest? Unsure. Work on that later)

It also means it's expected that anyone who has mokuton secondary (so in the warring clans era this would be Tobirama, Kawamara, Itama, possibly someone's grandkids from the mokuton user prior to Hashirama or maybe that was too long ago and they're already dead) AND doesn't already have a mokuton user kid (Butsuma, Aiko) should only marry/have kids with someone who has absolutely no potential for mokuton. In order to not reduce the amount of mokuton potential in the clan overall, kind of thing. Practically speaking this mostly means that if they want to marry they should either marry out of the clan or bring an outclan spouse into the Senju

(yes this is absolutely working towards my Tobirama should marry into the Uchiha clan agenda. I know I'm predictable. I am so sorry),

It also means that ppl with the mokuton secondary are pretty much the only ppl who can randomly decide "actually I'm not ever going to get married or have kids. don't feel like it" and be absolutely 100% guaranteed to have no pushback or ppl trying to get them to change their mind

I have so much more to say abt the whole mokuton primary/secondary thing bc this has been consuming my brain forever and gradually twining into all my fic ideas ever but this is SO LONG and I should really go get ready for bed jvnsjfnnf

#my own posts #senju tobirama #senju hashirama #mokuton #this isnt tobiizu yet but it could be paving the way for it!!!#yes i have a one track mind thank you for noticing #idk how else to tag this so ill leave it at that for now

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falmerbrook · 2 months ago

Text

Prologue thoughts!

Under read more for spoilers

Of course it was wonderful getting to see Skordo, Gabrielle, and Vanus again since they are some of my favorite characters. It's clear that the voice actors for Skordo, Gabrielle, and Vanus haven't done these voices for awhile because the delivery of all 3 of them was slightly different (no hate to them or the directors because I probably only noticed this because I'm autistic about this game) but it drove me a little nuts until I got used to it by the very end of the quest lol. I prefer the old inflections for Skordo and Gabrielle but I think I really liked Vanus's voice acting here actually. I think it fit him better. It's a better mix of annoying and mature rather than mostly annoying lol. I feel like they were all written a little differently too (most noticeable with Skordo), although that isn't too surprising because I imagine at this point they are being written by different writers. I'll probably hold off on my full opinions on their writing until we get the full story though.

Oh also they finally decided on how Vanus's name is pronounced and now it's consistent (in the base game it was the American van-us or vahn-us depending on the voice actor). At the exchange of Gabrielle's name now having two pronunciations lmao

I loved the new Mages Guild outfits! Wow they looked so good (especially compared to the old ones, which have been some of my least favorite in the game)!! Vanus's new hair cut was cute too! I guess he was feeling nostalgic.

I'll admit, I'm a but apprehensive about the writing. There wasn't anything bad in the prologue or anything, and it's hard to put my finger on, but I think having characters who haven't been featured in years really highlighted how the general writing style has changed a bit. I think because I like these characters and it's exciting for them to finally go back to the Worm Cult and Molag Bal storyline I feel like my hopes are a lot higher than if this was a disconnected original story. Like, I really want the storyline to be good, so I'm more worried that it won't be. I'll have to save that opinion for when it comes out though.

This is random but the flashy effects on the enemies were kinda blinding. I'm not usually bothered by the effects in this game but WOW that final battle hurt my eyes. I've always agreed with the there feedback that needs to be a way to turn off some of the flashy effects for those with photosensitivity issues, but now I really think it should probably be a bit more of a priority.

Anyway, my theories/predictions!

So there was a note (I think it was in the underground Mages Guild area?) that briefly mentions that the Wormies are in Northern Rivenspire for the Remnant, which I assumed was referring to the Lightless Remnant. Unfortunately I don't think the prologue stuff has been added to UESP yet so I can't find what it exactly said so maybe I misunderstood, but I thought that they were going to address that Verandis returning from Coldharbor in Markarth might've caused an issue with whatever deal he made with Bal over the Lightless Remnant. They didn't really do anything with that nugget of info so maybe it was just supposed to be a reference or maybe they'll go somewhere with it? I mostly just wanted to point it out since I haven't seen anyone else do it.

Among the mortals of the enemies we fight in this one that make up the new Worm Cult, almost all (if not all? I didn't pay that close of attention) of them were Argonians or Khajiit. That's interesting. I mean, given we will be going to an island off the coast of Black Marsh it makes sense there will be a lot of Argonians among their ranks, but the prevalence of Khajiit is interesting too.

From poking around it looks like I'm not the only one who thought of this, but I wonder if this story is building up to Vanus and Mannimarco's final battle at the end? Us killing Mannimarco in the Main Quest already kinda screwed up that part of their timeline since he was originally supposed to die (and become a lich I believe?) in his final battle with Vanus, but maybe they'll end this storyline with that battle and have him come back as a lich for it? If they do go with that, we might be seeing Vanus die.

^ on the note of returning characters dying, there sure are a lot of them in this upcoming story. I bet one of them is gonna die. I don't have a reason to think this it's just a vibe.

Skordo and Gabrielle will be major characters... going up against Molag Bal (maybe)... Meridia looking temple... screaming crying throwing up. Don't tease me ZOS. Where is he!!!

RIP Vanus

#mine #eso #eso spoilers

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doctor-hopper · 8 months ago

Note

You said you wished to be added to the mistranslation mailing group so I'll send you everything I've come across playing thru SDR2 original. Keep in mind I'm only on chapter 1 right now. I am not a #gamer so I pick it up and play it like once every 2 weeks LMAO.

Also half of this stuff is gonna be copy-pasted from chats I've had on discord with friends but it's the same info :>

i got to this part in the game (seen below) but the wording in the jp version is like "Hey, hey! Now, Hanamura-kun, what did I say?" Komaeda specifically uses ってば which indicates extreme annoyance and is usually used by women (teen girls) so i found it really cute

2. hajime of course doesnt use keigo (polite speech) ever, except when he first meets sonia, he suddenly starts talking politely

3. in the official english version when teruteru urges hajime to discuss dirty stuff with him in private, hajime just says "...no thanks." however a more apt translation would be hajime saying in a very flat voice "I'll have to restrain myself" or even "I'm invoking my right to refuse." (遠慮ておく) the way it comes off is a very dry way of telling him off.

4. there's also a thing in the prologue where hajime thinks, "At any rate, if this is a nightmare, I have no idea if it's even started yet... Sheesh, what kind of nightmare is that?" but in the Japanese version it comes across as more tongue in cheek (if that's the way to put it). it's more like this: "Regardless, I can't even tell if this is a nightmare or not, or even what kind of nightmare... Jeez, what a nightmare!"

5. below are 3 screenshots. The first 2 from the official translations, the third from the Something Awful forums fan translation (before the official existed). As you can see they are quite different.

Here is the Japanese text:

when talking about this with my friend, I said:

As per usual it seems to be a case of the official translation being very literal and the fan translation taking tone more into account. The literal translation is:

Kazuichi: it's an unbelievable thought, but...those two are in a male-female relationship, don't you think so? Hajime: a "male-female" relationship? That is not how a teenager should put it.

The wording is more or less "not befitting of someone of young age", with a heavy masculine/imperative tone (since hajime uses ぞ). I'd personally translate it something like:

Kazuichi: I know this sounds crazy, but...those two, dont'cha think they could be havin' an affair goin' on? (Kazuichi speaks with a slight accent in the JP version) Hajime: "an affair"? You're talking like an old man.

I think an equally as accurate but localized translation would be something like " "an affair"? You *are* a teenager, aren't you?" but that sounds slightly stilted. Hajime also later says only 2 lines later "The more he talks, the more he sounds like a dirty old man." Hence my thoughts on changing the line slightly. All in all I think the fan translation did a pretty good job sliding in from Hajime's initial comment to his thought on Kazuichi sounding like a "middle aged man" (as it is put in the Japanese original). Honestly it's funnier than whatever I could come up with lmao

^in general, Hajime (or Hazime as he was originally known as in the JP version, am I the only one who thinks of this a lot? Anyways...) is very prone to dry/blunt humor. It's kind of similar to Haruhi Fujioka in Ouran Highschool (if you've seen that show). The issue is, a loooot of the text in Danganronpa one and two are translated super literally. This isn't a huge issue all of the time (though is very obvious pretty much in every sentence), but when you have a character who's supposed to be dry/blunt, focusing more on their words and less on the tone and meaning behind the words is why Hajime talks like a Redditor in the English version. Which is a shame, because he's very funny in the Japanese version to me.

Some more points...these are from the top of my head so I am no longer quoting discord.

In Danganronpa 2.5, I think it's the only time Komaeda uses imperative speech? I may be proven wrong once I play thru all of SDR2. Anyways, imperative speech is seen as really rude in Japanese. Of course anime rules are slightly different (many characters ESPECIALLY SHONEN characters will use imperative speech like it's just another Monday) but it's notable for Komaeda because I don't think he's ever used it before. He uses it in 2.5 when World Destroyer slides into his DMs (when he threatens Komaeda and his friends). Komaeda throws his phone on the bed and yells 黙れよ！which is the forceful imperative of "to be quiet". Given the context and Komeada's usual casual but not rude speech, I would actually translate that part as "Shut the fuck up!" the widely available fan(?) translation just has him say "I've heard enough!"

It's a very interesting point when analyzing Komaeda's character especially in 2.5.

Another thing I never understood about SDR2's translation is the removal of accents and certain quirks. Nekomaru talks like a wise old master in some ways...which is totally different from the heavy shonen talk I was expecting (which he has for sure, but I was not expecting that part of him. It actually made me like him a lot more.)

Kazuichi, for lack of a better comparison, talks kind of...gangster-y? I'm unsure how to put it. He would be saying things like "bro is tweakin' skibidi style" or whatever. Again, it makes sense with his character. Kazuichi in his FTEs talks about how people basically profile him without learning who he is. The way he talks only adds to the "delinquent" impression he gives off, which is where Hajime had the initial misunderstanding.

Komaeda uses more filler particles than the average character in the game I would say, at least enough for it to stand out to me. I don't know if Makoto was the same (I'd have to re-check it's been a while), but I've caught him using "redundant" amounts of ね and さ, which would most closely translate as "uh" or "um" or even "like" in English. It's not constant and he's much more well-spoken when he's rambling about hope/despair (ironically), but it was enough for it to be noticeable to me. I just wonder why it's not in the English version.

Of course, all the characters have their own speech quirks as you've probably picked up...Hajime talks very masculine and kind of rudely, Mikan is very polite, stuff like that.

OH! Here's a fun one.

from UTDP. This got completely fucked in English. It's actually one of the worst mistranslations in the series aside from Komaeda's love confession IMO.

I don't blame the translation team wholly because if you look at the original Japanese text...

it's not very clear. But still, I think it's pretty obvious that this is how the conversation was MEANT to go:

Hajime: Komaeda...give me your hand. Komaeda: Huh...? Why? Hajime: "Why"? We're going to do a handshake. Normally, I wouldn't go out of my way to ask this, but... Hajime: Will you be my friend? Komaeda: ...Hinata-kun, do you really think this will mean anything?

This is getting long so I will leave this, because as a translator/localizer this article speaks to me very much. Specifically...

Another benefit to a good localization is that it will be truer to the intentions of the original creators than a strict translation by allowing a Western player to be entertained by it in the same way the creators intended their Japanese players to be entertained by the original – you’re laughing at the same points, and crying your eyes out at the same points, too.

That's kind of why I dislike the official ENG SDR2 translation. It is not very faithful to the emotional meaning of the original text in many ways. And I think that's a very important part about translating stories...

Whew that was a lot. If you aren't already bugged by this, I'll make sure to stop by and send more sometime :] fun fact: according to the SDR2 official art book, Komaeda's favorite food is bread, specifically toast, and he dislikes white rice.

Whoops, I didn’t see this in my inbox until now. I’m not bugged at all—thank you for the lore, and I’d greatly appreciate any more when you have it! I’m not as confident or aware about some of these particle nuances, too, so it’ll be educational.

#komaeda lore #text #misc lore #language #translation #japanese #danganronpa #sdr2 #ask

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