#and now i am future me

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay so i get it with the whole ‘king of the trashed mind palace’ thing but the thing I find actually compelling about Nureyev is that (like with his other skills) he’s Actually Pretty Emotionally Mature or at least manages to comport himself accordingly, but thinking of himself in that way feeds into his overdeveloped sense of self-discipline, and his self-assurance in areas where he doesn’t realize he has blind spots (which makes the upside down map incident hella illustrative) in this essay i will

anyway the biggest thing I see with Nureyev is 'survival mechanisms that backfire or work out brilliantly depending on the situation’. In S1 it shows up more in his Manic Pixie tendencies like the sandwich and remote in his pockets, also his adhd coding that makes him incredibly competent but also involves all-nighters and reading plans upside down under pressure.

when those things are his strengths that’s a big part of why he complements Juno so nicely! Juno's intelligence is geared toward gathering clues and then assembling narratives, getting good insight checks and putting together a bigger picture that Nureyev has trained himself out of being able to see. they're both very good at reading people but Nureyev's strength is being quick on his feet and handling people and situations in the moment while Juno is good at mapping people’s inner landscapes and motivations

- like. S1 Nureyev behaves like he understands pretty well about boundaries and communication to navigate relationships - not perfectly, obviously, plus he also picks his moments to flagrantly trespass out of necessity or just for shits and giggles - YOU BOUGHT ME CLOTHES?? - but he’s aware and it felt pretty well highlighted in comparison to Juno On His Nonsense. he’s incredibly patient and still able to push back when it’s called for. the way he lives fundamentally does not allow him to build real long-term closeness but he has the principles and can deploy them in a sincere context.

- survival mechanisms that backfire is kind of how I read the whole Future Consideration thing, like how you get a certain amount of pileup when you put a pin in your feelings about situations in order to handle said situations and it can take a while to catch on to it (Buddy says it’s my turn to project onto fictional man)

- couple that with his whole ‘always running never looking back’ thing and it’s like. he’s literally always dealing with a situation. yeah that’s probably a lot of pileup. yeah it’s probably overshot into repression. but to me it looks more like, consciously he doesn’t have a problem with the idea of having feelings and those feelings being valid, he just never actually gets a chance to deal with them (and he wants to but he can’t because nowhere in the universe is safe fuck me right up)

- I mean the reason I love Man in Glass so much is that. He wants to be like 'I can be a grown-up and work with my ex and not hand over my heart on a platter this time' which is an understandable boundary under the circumstances! but trying to rationally overpower strong feelings like a.) still being in love with Juno and b.) deeply hurt by Juno’s self-destructive tendencies and inability to communicate is a tall order! so it turns into ‘I have to hold onto the hurt and the distance and the conviction that he’s the same as before, otherwise i’m hosed’

- boom Nureyev’s overcompensating for ‘uh oh juno keeps looking at me like that while looking like that’ by being petty and supercilious bc he's on the defensive this time in the way Juno always used to be. and he's right to be scared about it! on a Watsonian level Nureyev is being put into exactly the situation he Does Not Want that on a Doylist level he Absolutely Needs! he already fell for Juno at his worst, what kind of chance does he stand against a Juno who actually wants to be around him?

- like that’s the crux of FRP for me is that so much of the story hinges on the fact that Juno couldn’t leave yet, and also couldn’t communicate that. if everything was the same but Juno took the out when it was offered, Nureyev would have understood. but Juno’s inability to say ‘look I’m sorry I can’t do this’ is also a symptom of everything he still needed to work through the hard way. And it means Man in Glass Nureyev has no reason not to believe that Juno is still eight self-destructive impulses in a trenchcoat and that it’s a bad idea to walk back into caring for him again.

- also their working together only does half the trick and Nureyev still needs Buddy to completely obliterate the rest of his defenses so that he can sit still long enough to hear Juno out, and for Juno to show up both with the apology that forms the precedent for changed behavior

- anyway Man In Glass is a self-contained arc in its own right and a snapshot into that tipping point, it shows that Nureyev’s sense of discipline and ability to compartmentalize creates its own sort of mess without him realizing it, it makes him and all of us aware of the fact that there’s more going on under the surface. but it’s not indicative of how he is all the time, or rather I think S3 is an interesting mix of his ability to integrate that growth while also struggling with all the stuff that’s lurking under the surface and rearing up every now and again.

my theory is that he’s only going to be able to overcome whatever the hell is going on with his debts because of his time on the Carte Blanche equipping him in the background, having a year of enforced staying in one place to be messy and get to know people and talk about his feelings, in a way that wouldn’t have happened if he’d tried to keep Juno at a distance. And no he clearly couldn’t overhaul everything, but based on the journal bit he was getting real close to that before Dark Matters showed up

the bit where he cleaned out and ran checks out with what Jet said about his overconfidence in his skills -- Nureyev’s self-image is of someone who knows himself and is capable of dealing with things and making the right decisions, so he’s probably thinking he’s doing what he’s gotta but he still doesn’t have a Run Program ask_for_help.exe.

so yeah if i’ve got S4 thoughts: it’s def going to involve the fact that he’s going to get his ass kicked by all the things he's been running from that are catching up with him (the debts, the first love, probably the end of his anonymity). but I see them going for a 'huh I have to stop running from my problems and learn to rely on other people' kind of epiphany and using that to bring him and Juno closer again, esp. in direct contrast to Sasha as Juno’s narrative foil/someone who started out the same and went the opposite direction.

S2-3 you had Juno putting the work in to catch up to meet Nureyev halfway emotionally (and maybe also show that Nureyev isn’t quite as far ahead as he might have looked) and I fucking love the fact that coming onboard the Carte Blanche represents that image, like Juno taking the big leap off of Mars and Nureyev submitting to the mortifying ordeal of staying still for a bit and they’re both in the same place! and then the fact that they had to put work in together and get to know each other in a context of casual intimacy and not just shared trauma in a Martian tomb. and now Nureyev has to unpack some of the stuff that got buried a little too deep so when Juno finds him again they’re going to have to figure out who Nureyev is now and how they’re gonna keep growing together

thank you for coming to my TED talk

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[vaguely-concerned]

there's something so incredibly sweet about how many times davrin notes in his journal that talking to rook helped him with something. he keeps bringing them out to touch grass and gaze at nugs out in the woods with him which I think must be very good for them, and their company clearly helps him work through and get more clarity on things he's been stuck on emotionally. it's just kind of lovely and a great little nuance in that relationship.

[rox-of-iu]

to no ones surprise more of my special guy

[batman-gif]

"Frank and Gerard early 2000's stage kisses" this "Frank and Gerard early 2000's stage kisses" that. LISTEN! 2022 Ray and Frank forehead kisses. In conclusion . Frank iero.

[egophiliac]

the lovers, reversed

(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)

[starheirxero]

The boys are back in town (to kill you!!)

Still versions under the cut!

Here's V1 Bloodmoon, 👇

And here's V2 Bloodmoon! 👇

[rafeandonlyrafe]

perfect wife

words: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding, mating press, established relationship, marriage, housewife stuff? cooking and cleaning

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog

it’s not that you enjoy cleaning all the time, but you get in certain moods, when your energy level is high and you got enough sleep the night before, that you absolutely love to clean, especially satisfying deep cleans.

today happens to be one of those days, and ever since you woke up, smiling at the note that rafe left you on his pillow, wishing you a good morning and saying he regretted not being there with you upon waking up, but also couldn’t bear rousing you from your sleep when he had to leave for work. it makes your heart flutter to see it signed not by his name but rather ‘from, your husband.’

you’ve been married to rafe for two whole months now, and it feels like a fairytale, somehow even better than being his girlfriend. you feel like a truly good wife as you already scrubbed all the bathrooms spotless before 10 am, and are now working on the common areas before hopefully cleaning the bedroom before rafe gets home from work.

you hum along to the music you have playing throughout the house wide sound system as you wipe down dusty surfaces, taking care to clean all the little crevices that normally get missed. 

time flies and before you realize, your stomach starts to grumble as noon rolls by. you take a pause from your work, having just finished the living room, and move into the kitchen, deciding to make yourself some food before getting to cleaning.

you love to bake, but cooking is not your favorite thing, so you make yourself something simple before you get a spark of creativity, making a stew to simmer so it would be ready by the time rafe got home around dinner. you finish your meal, having disregarded it halfway through to make the stew. 

you clean the kitchen while stirring occasionally before it gets to the point that you can lower the temperature and walk away, now off to clean the bedroom. you grab rafes hamper, filled with clean clothes that he didn’t have time to put away last night, too busy kissing and cuddling with you in bed.

you dump them onto the freshly washed bedsheets, taking the time and care to crisply fold everything or hang up what went on hangers. you even spend some time organizing rafes closet. he kept it pretty clean already, but you wanted to make everything perfect.

you run downstairs to check your stew before continuing onto your closet, it being a much bigger mess than rafes. you have a terrible habit of trying on clothes, deciding its not want you want to wear for the day, and tossing it onto the floor instead of putting it properly away.

“baby!” you hear rafe shout just as you finish up. you quickly flatten your hands over the comforter on the bed, smoothing out any creases to make the room truly flawless before you rush down the stairs, greeting your husband with a kiss as your arms loop around his shoulders.

“something smells good.” rafe says, taking a sniff of the entryway, the smell of the stew having radiated throughout the whole house.

“i made you food.” you tell him, smoothing your hands over his shoulders, keeping your body close to his having missed him all day. “it should be ready in about 30 minutes, just enough time for you to shower.” you know rafes routine well enough, he liked to shower right when he got home from work, to wash the day away.

“you’re the most perfect wife ever.” rafe bends his head to press kisses to your neck, making you giggle when he focuses on your ticklish spot.

“go shower!” you shoo him away, wanting him to have the soup when it is nice and hot.

“love you, honey.” rafe kisses your cheek before heading up the stairs. you echo the words back to him before heading towards the kitchen to check on the stew, but pause when you hear rafe calling your name from your bedroom.

you rush up the stairs, worried that you maybe accidentally threw something out that was important or moved something and he didn’t know where it was.

“what is it rafey?” you question, eyes wide as you see him looking around the room.

“you cleaned all this while i was at work? and put away my laundry?” rafe questions, seeing that even the baseboards have been cleaned of the bit of dust that always collects on them.

you give a shrug. “i like cleaning for you.” “you know you don’t have to do all this baby.” rafe moves to wrap his arms around your waist. “i mean i appreciate it, but don’t feel like you’re required to now that we are married.” “i know.” you smile, cupping his jaw in your hands. “i seriously just wanted to.” “okay.” rafe nods, satisfied with your answer. he knows you get little bursts of cleaning, but doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression about your role, even if you do stay home while he is at work.

“go shower.” you press a kiss to rafes lips before leaving him in the bedroom, smirking to yourself knowing that he’s about to see that you cleaned the bathroom as well.

you return to the stovetop, stirring everything together before preparing the final touches, even setting out the perfect silverware for the occasion, choosing the dining room for such a meal rather than the island where you and rafe usually eat.

you jump when rafe enters the kitchen. he always moves so quietly through the house that it catches you off guard.

“god, if we weren’t already married i would propose to you all over again right now.” rafe wraps his arms around your waist as you work on ladling the stew into individual bowls, deciding to keep the rest in the pot on the stove for easy splitting up into tupperware later.

“i like making food for you.” you hum. “don’t expect it all the time though, i also love getting take out.”

rafe laughs and nods his head in agreement, you have a habit of ordering food at least two times a week, making it a tradition on fridays to watch an episode of tv while you eat in the living room.

“let me carry them in.” rafe stops you before you can carry the bowls yourself, picking them up and following you into the dining room.

you blow on your spoon to cool the stew as rafe begins to eat, commentating over and over how delicious it is, even going so far as to moan and roll his eyes back into his head, but when you take a bite you can’t help but admit that it’s very good.

“when we finish eating-” rafe says after a few minutes of silence, too engrossed in your meal. “i’m going to take you upstairs and fuck you.” “rafe!” you giggle at the sudden lewdness.

“i’m serious, baby. i need to after you did all this cleaning, put away my laundry and made me food? i need to put a baby in you immediately.” 

“well… hurry up and get back to eating.” you gesture to rafe. you talked about having kids after marriage, but this was the first time since your wedding that rafe brought up actually bringing them into the world.

you both rush through the rest of your meals, leaving the dishes on the table to be taken care of tomorrow as rafe sweeps you into his arms, carrying you up the stairs with ease. he sets you down on the bed, his lips connecting with yours as he works on taking off his pants, throwing them in the general direction of his hamper before pulling away to pull your shirt off over your head.

“i can’t fucking wait to see you all filled up with my kid.” rafe says, massaging your breasts through your bra, unable to keep his hands off of them, even to take off the fabric covering them.

“need that so bad, rafey.” you whimper. you’ve always wanted to be a mom, and it feels like the perfect time to make that dream a reality.

“gotta fuck you now, princess.” rafe says, quickly taking his shirt off, his cock already completely hard as he pulls his underwear down, clearly excited to put a baby into you.

you reach behind your back to take your bra off before sliding your leggings and underwear down in one go, needing rafe just as desperately as he needs you. you move up the bed, resting your head on the pillow as rafe moves to hover over you. 

“i would eat you out or finger you but i need this right now.” rafe says, reaching down to rub at your clit as his tip presses against your entrance.

“i need you right now too.” you tell him, letting out a moan as he pushes in, moving slowly to let you adjust. you wrap your arms around his shoulders, rafes chest heaving with deep breaths, trying to control himself.

“you can move.” you tell rafe after a minute. he doesn’t give even a second for your comment to sit before he is thrusting in and out, making your joint moans echo throughout the room.

rafe presses sloppy kisses against yours, lips vibrating together when you’re both unable to hold back your noises of pleasure. “feels so good.” you whimper, his thumb still rubbing against your clit, never stopping making you feel good.

“i know it does, princess.” rafe says. “you’re doing so good for me. gonna fill you up real good.” “you’re gonna be the best daddy.” you tell rafe, and its true, you know just from the way he treats you, how he straightened out and takes care of you, that he’s going to be an amazing dad.

“fuck-” rafe curses, somehow able to move faster, slamming in and out of you, annihilating your cunt with the ferocity he is thrusting into you at. rafe is grunting with the effort he is giving as you grip his shoulders tightly, sure to leave red marks from your nails come morning.

“gonna go fucking crazy, your pussy is so good.” rafe says, as if he hasn’t already gone crazy with the way he’s fucking into you.

“keep rubbing rafe, i’m close.” you moan, back arching off the bed as his thumb rubs over your clit easily due to your slick.

“cum for me princess.” rafe begs you, needing to feel your cunt squeeze around him. you’d never deny your husband as he rubs you to orgasm, entire body shaking as your high hits you, moaning wildly as rafes cock maintains its blistering pace.

as soon as your clit pulses underneath his finger and your back settles back against the bed, rafe moves, pulling out briefly to reposition you, slotting his hands underneath your knees and pushing your legs up and open, spreading your cunt wide for him before his cock reenters you.

he begins to thrust immediately, keeping up the aggressive, feral pace. you’re so sensitive from your orgasm but you can’t complain when you know he’s working to get his cum inside of you, to fill you up, to grow your family.

“gonna cum.” rafe warns briefly, his words slurred out, his eyes half lidded from the ecstasy of your cunt as he pushes in for a final time, shooting his cum as deep as he can, leaning forward and pressing you into the mattress, not even caring as your thighs burn from the stretch.

rafe grinds himself into you until there is nothing more to release, moving your legs back to a more comfortable position but keeping his dick buried deep inside of you.

rafe looks at you with a smile, his sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. “gotta make sure it takes.”

[hinamie]

@philosophiums and i have been nursing the beginnings of an atla au so have some preliminary designs while we cook :>

[ganondoodle]

(totk rewritten)

finally, all the arm and spirit abilities- for the first half of the game (rauru) and for the second half with the shiekah arm replacing links arms instead and the spirit abilities gained through ganondorf

(please excuse my handwriting and sometimes repeated info on the first two, i lost motivation/patience at the end and couldnt get myself to basically redo it all from scratch just to make it a bit more cleaner)

note, the camera rune is unconnected to the arm, its the shiekah stone copy link has (zelda carries the one from botw, a copy was attempted to be made for link but it lacks all runes except the camera, the map and its teleportation, and journal/archive)

note for the heal effects of some spirit abilities- im also reworking the healing system, making it more like the older games, so healing isnt as easy and much more restricted, thus making those effects of spirit abilities more valuable ( lil potion icon on the d pad will act a little bit like in skyward sword, opens your limited selection of healing items and if chosen link switches to holding it and letting you consume it with -a- while walking around in real time- to avoid more pausing and mass healing on regular items while in menu)

additional note, the automatic recharging of the magic meter depending on the environment gives you a reliable but less abusable way of using abilities and allows for even more creative dungeon/challenge design by using it effectively- it works by absorbing magic from its surroundings, so if its an area with little magic it recharges slower, if its a very spiritual or healthy place it will recharge faster, it can be used to make things more challenging and also as subtle storytelling (example, theres a graveyard with the magic energy around being off the charts, even if there are no spirits to see, it could hint at the people buried not having died peacefully, no matter what their gravestone says...)

the usage of magic and how much the different abilities cost also allows for a much more dynamic fighting style for players to choose and try out, balancing them all out with their cost instead of a fixed timer, and the recharging beign affected by the environment perhaps forcing players that favor high cost magic abilities to use the lower cost ones for example, or not being able to charge one up bc the enemy is too fast and doesnt give you enough time to charge it

about half of the small overworld dungeons (not shrines) are also locked/inaccessible for the first half and new quests appear as the second half commences- together with the additional changes raurus return brings with it (sonau buildings, enemies being mostly cosntructs that he summoned etc) and whole set of new abilities giving you a fresh new way to play while (hopefully) not making you feel too restricted for the first half

... making these detailed concepts took me longer than id like to admit q-q

[sysig]

How far did you get? (Patreon)

[ryllen]

[baihujun]

NEON BLADE

[lesbianherald]

got an idea for another fic oh my GOD I have BRAINWORMS HELP MEEE

[anna-scribbles]

reading old journal entries is like. i take myself firmly by the shoulders. you are not fundamentally evil you are just fifteen