#and now I might like actually be able to get one???

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

THIS. THIS THIS THIS. i could talk a lot about how this kind of thing goes for me and how i use it--i might come back to do that in another reblog--but for now i wanted to pass it on because THIS. i am on a basis where i can literally ask my body, in words, what i'm feeling, and very quickly get an answer. it's fucking wild.

another extremely helpful step i'd like to add is: if you're trying to get in touch with and narrate to an emotion this way, ask it if it needs you to talk to someone else first. ('someone else' being 'another feeling you are having.')

if something happens that leaves me feeling kicked in the gut--even if i already know why it feels that way, and what caused it--trying to interrogate it too directly will just make it even worse, and it won't listen or tell me jack shit. if i ask if i need to talk to someone else first, i am almost certainly going to be directed straight to the parts of my body that are feeling anger; panic; sense of betrayal; sense that Something Urgently Must Be Done; and so on, and have to address those first, because my reaction to the trigger is going to involve layers of emotions and not just one. defeat my seven evil fight or flight responses etc.

and on top of that, many times more often than not, the emotion i'm going to be directed to is HOLY GOD I AM SO HUNGRY/THIRSTY/TIRED/HURTY, TAKE CARE OF IT PLEASE. i'll become immediately aware of bodily factors i'd completely failed to notice, which were stressing me the fuck out on top of the other emotional triggers. even if it's something i can't do much to mitigate at the time (my body's favorite hobby is randomly hurting like a bitch), it is insanely helpful to be able to go 'the toddler in my nervous system is hungry, exhausted, and in pain. they need a nap and a snack and to curl up in a blanket with a comfort movie for a while before we can talk productively about the meltdown they just had, no matter how gentle or understanding i am about it.'

once i've addressed those things, the vast majority of the time lump of lead in my gut will actually be ready to work with me. it's practically magic and i highly recommend.

on the validity of recognizing emotions

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hi, sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if your planning on updating Congratulations! It's Triplets anytime soon? Because I kinda wanna see what happens once they actually sit down and talk through their misunderstandings because honestly although jazz is probably too busy to go through with it now she was training herself to be one of 2 courses in college which was either neurology or phycology so I figured she'd be the first to recognize that they need to have a sit down and talk with everything laid out or at least partially laid out, it being a really long really difficult conversion with tears trauma flashbacks and probably cake (because let's be honest this convo needs comfort food) and by the end of it they might not even fixed all the misunderstandings they had but it's a start in the right direction :)

"I'm sorry the kids threaten you. They can be a handful," is the first thing out of Jasmine's mouth. She is holding a glass tray with delicious-smelling lasagna, wearing a teal dress that hugs all her curves and seems dolled up for a night out.

She marches right by him, her long red hair falling into wavy curls down her back like waterfalls. They sway with her movement as she leads the way to the dining room.

On the table is a dinner set for two, red candles lit, and the lights dim. It makes him think of all those silly scenes in romance novels he consumed growing up. Jasmine places the tray in the center of the table alongside a salad. She carefully pours some bubbling water into two champagne glasses, humming.

Once done, she turns towards him, taking off the apron wrapped around her front. It reveals a nice but modest view of a split on her dress ending on the edge of her midleg.

"I told them to get you so we can have a dinner date. Bruce offered to babysit for the night." She proclaims, crossing her arms. "I want to see if there is a future for us or if the god of time is just an idiot."

Jason is so stunned by her beauty that he can't find any words to respond. He feels like she just pulled out a live fish and threw it at his face. While he's busy gawking like a fool, the three children squirm in his arms before he feels little hands fumbling around the edge of his helmet.

He jerks his neck away, a warning of bombs on his lips, only to bite his tongue when Dan bypasses his security to pull off the helmet with a laugh. At the same time, Dani reaches up to rip the mask off his face, fast and stiff enough that he swears she was a professional waxer in a past life.

He lets out a yowl, barely able to shift his words from a swear into a substitute. Danny pats his cheek, apologizing for his sibling's lack of manners. Dan doesn't seem to care because he scrambles off Jason's shoulders, head inside of the helmet that was too large for him, and races down the hallway.

"I'm unstoppable!" He screams in glee. Two seconds later, he rams into a wall, hitting it at full force due to the helmet blocking his view. He bounces off the drywall with enough force. He lands on his rear and a soft grunt.

Dani takes that chance to hop out of Jason's arms. She runs at a speed he's sure kids shouldn't be able to reach without having the Allen family gene, tackling Dan before his son can get up. In a tussle that looks too violent for five-year-olds, Dani rips the helmet out of Dan's hands and books it down the hallway, cackling like a loon.

"No! Dani! Give that back!" Dan demands, leaping to his feet and running after his sister. The voice modifiers of their outfits make them sound darker than usual, but it does not make them sound threatening.

Danny sighs heavily. "I better go stop them before that thing blows up. Treat my mom well, or I'll be forced to hurt you."

He patted Jason's cheek again, carefully climbing down to the ground. Despite his words, he calmly walks out of the room, hands tucked into his Prince of Gotham suit pants as if he were going on a casual stroll. The second he reaches the door, he grabs the handle and tugs to close.

Just as it's about to seal, he points two fingers toward his green glowing mask eyes and then points them aggressively at Jason. Once his warning is received, he finishes closing the door.

Jason is left standing in the room, confused out of his mind. It all happened so fast that he was unsure if the kids planned that exit or if they were honestly just like that. It burns to not be sure.

He should.

He is their father.

"Well, sit down. We have a date to get through." Jasmine commands, pushing some of her red hair out of her face. She levels an even calculating stare on him, making him feel she is more prepared for a business meeting than anything romantic. "Let's see what the god of time has in store for us."

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

Girl I have so many questions about your story it’s actually ridiculous!

(I don’t want to overwhelm you though so imma hold back)

is reader becoming a snake person a reference to snakes preying on bats and birds?( and will the snake being joker’s be important?)

Is Tiffany going to have to put effort into pretending she’s the ✨perfect sister✨ now that reader obviously isn’t going to do jack for them anymore? (Because ungrateful families don’t deserve muffins 😒)

Is reader going to be a hero or villain, or maybe something in between?

will we be able to get an idea of why the batfam treats reader like they’re some sort of pest?( you’d think they’d be more careful since reader could easily expose their identities if they thought about it 😒😒)

and finally.

Tim had a very…different…reaction to reader ‘framing’ Tiffany- is that important?

-🚚

yay ok this is my first like real ask! Yall have been making me so so happy with all the love! It really encourages me! And don't worry about overwhelming me! I can take it :) i'm answering this and then signing off to go to bed because I have the worst flu ever.

Ok so yes! Reader becoming a snake-meta-person does have to do with snakes preying on birds, honestly that was a little easter egg for funsies. Im glad you caught it! reader's gonna eat those hoes up !!!!!!! ( and they'll lock her up right after)

Tiffany will for sure try to imitate reader at first but that will eventually lead to her downfall! she can only keep it up for 6 months and then she'll be discovered. she can't imitate the genuine love and care reader puts into these things so they'll always be off no matter how much she tries. the batfam will end up realizing what they lost and do whatever it takes to get it back.

And yes, the snake being the Joker's will be important bc he's the joker and is so fucking insane that even his snake has to be special! all powers have consequences and these will be heavy. it will put reader through it, but will really shape them as a person.

Im leaning more toward reader being a hero??? but with the snake being literally radioactive it might be a kinda venom dynamic. im still not too sure tbh. with all the angst and neglect and the troubles of being a teen, she might be a bit of an anti-hero! she might pull a jason (ironic, i know) and go around killing all the villians!

the thing about the batfam, is that they don't even realize what they're doing to the reader. they literally see her as irrelevant so they don't notice their neglect or how much it affects reader. she's not even on their minds enough to be perceived as a threat. the only ones purposefully being mean are Damian and Jason, Damian because he sees reader as less than/ a threat and Jason because he is trying to push the reader out his life and not 'taint' her innocence.

Tim's reaction is different because he's suspicious. he thinks he would've noticed if reader was capable of doing something so sneaky and underhanded. he's the only one who is suspicious because he simply doesn't think she's smart enough to do this. he's gonna be the first to see Tiff's true colors.

Goodnight yall!!! i'll be back tmrw morning! keep sending more asks! I take requests so if you have any ideas you want me to write just send them in! I'll yandere platonic or romanitc. SEND THEM IN!!!!!!!!

[vaspider]

Spider, can I ask you and your followers for some input in a situation? I want some unbiased opinions, especially from parents of adult kids (bonus if your adult kids are disabled). I've tried to be as unbiased as possible and include both sides. I am aware that you're under no obligation to actually answer, but I'm hoping that if you're not able to provide any input, then one of your followers might be able to.

TLDR at the end.

The context:

Basically, I am an adult in my late 20s. I haven't lived with my parents since they threw me out at 19 for being diagnosed with autism and they were told that I wasn't capable of living independently without years of occupational therapy. I was homeless for 13 months. Like literally two days later, they dropped me off at work, confiscated my house keys, and said to find somewhere else to sleep because I wasn't coming back home. (My parents insist that I wasn't actually homeless because I already had my current job and was able to afford to stay at a youth homeless shelter. I say "what the fuck do you think Homeless Shelter means??") After that, I was able to get a government grant for chronically homeless youth that allowed me to get a room in a student housing complex. It's not dorms, but it works like a dorm. I do have a private room.

My bedroom of my apartment is a mess. My bedroom has always been a mess. I have AuDHD and multiple disabilities, including extreme fatigue so that's not unexpected. During lockdown, it was especially bad. I had to move out of my last apartment in 2021 because one of my roommates was a bigot and my building wanted a new tenet so they could charge more rent, so between the two of them, they forced me out for being a "safety concern" due to the mess (the roommate did things like lie and say I didn't bathe, even though I was literally still wet from the shower). My parents ended up helping me pack up my stuff and move to a new place. I've been here for a few years and my roommates here have always been okay with the mess because it stays confined to my room.

(Also I wrote this at like 5AM and I'm half asleep but I wasn't going to be able to go back to bed until I ask someone unbiased. So please excuse any typos, and I hope everything makes sense and nothing came out as gibberish because sometimes by brain refuses to Word Good.)

The problem:

My mother decided when I moved in that my dad was going to be inspecting my bedroom in order to make sure it's clean. He's been putting her off but she's been on his ass about it for three years so he's finally caved and said that next time he's here to bring me something (I cannot drive due to disabilities), that he would be inspecting my room.

I do not want my room inspected. I've been very clear about that since day one. Yes, my room is a mess, but I'm also a grownass adult. My parents say that since they've given me some money for my rent over the past few years that they're entitled to inspect my room. I say that it's a violation of my autonomy. My room is my safe space. My mother is an obsessively clean person so growing up, my room wasn't really mine, and everything had to be to her standards whether I liked it or not (including things like what color I paint my furniture that I owned).

My parents do not care about my boundaries, and would say that since I've proven incapable in the past (re: because I'm disabled, not that they'd ever admit it), that they're trying to protect me by keeping me from being kicked out again.

I am skeptical about this and believe it's more about controlling me (see: throwing me out for having autism and just generally being extremely controlling my entire life). My parents have refused to stop giving me money for my rent every now and then (I have a job and pay at least the majority of my rent, but there are some months where business is slow and I don't get many hours, and no one wants to hire me because I act Autistic and use a cane) and I end up short. I have resolved to do everything I can to not need their help, including having my sister pick up my prescriptions, in order to avoid my parents coming over and inspecting my room.

Also, my building already does quarterly inspections and they've always been okay with my room, but I know my room won't be to my parents' standards. I don't have any local friends that I could ask for help cleaning up, but like, I'm a Spoonie. I clean my toilet and then have to go lay down because I'm getting dizzy. I am not making much progress myself.

The question:

Are my parents right? Have I shown that I cannot be trusted to keep my room clean, thus entitling them to come inspect it to make sure it's not a mess. They will definitely yell at me and have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if my room is a mess or I refuse to let them inspect it? Or am I right to put my foot down and enforce my boundaries?

Side note, my parents have a history of being abusive and controlling. That's something I had to prove to the government to get my grant. They would insist that it's not abuse. Some of it was quite bad but I'm not going to get into it here.

TLDR:

I'm an adult with disabilities who has my own apartment. My parents think they're entitled to come inspect my room to make sure it's clean. I say that it's my apartment and I say no. They have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if I refuse. Are my parents being unreasonable, or am I the one being unreasonable for refusing?

Your parents have no right to inspect your room. You are an adult. This is your apartment, not theirs. Your mother is wrong. Your parents are being invasive. I think they think they're being reasonable bc they care about your well being, but they aren't respecting your autonomy.

Sometimes, being a parent means you gotta let your kids not do things the way you would or even not do things the way that is best for them. It's hard, but it's necessary.

If you still lived with your parents and your lack of cleanliness was affecting their lives, it might be different ... but this is just your parents being fucking weird.

[signanothername]

I– I need to ask.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Like, share your thoughts with everyone. Because I've been working on my universe for about three years now, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT READY. At the same time, I’m still afraid to share these things...

So. How do you do it?D:

Alright my answer will seem a bit harsh and/or cruel, but know that I mean it in the most kind, genuine, and gentle way possible, i just don’t know how to word it any other way

With that in mind

Anon, you’re never going to be ready to share it, and the fear will always linger, you will never be 100% confident of what you share

And that’s ok

Again, I know that i make it seem super easy, but I promise that I’m just as afraid to share my ideas as anyone else (I’m a perfectionist, and that also contributes to my fear to share things)

It’s just, I think of it this way

I have an idea, and I got two choices

Either

1- I keep overthinking it, and succumb to my worries and fears when it comes to my idea, and keep my ideas with me, never to see the light of day

Or

2- I acknowledge that I’m afraid, acknowledge that my idea might not be perfect or ready, acknowledge that there might be flaws that I will probably notice later and even feel stupid about it, and still share my ideas anyway regardless of the voice in my head telling me to “wait a little more”

I usually go for choice number 2

The art and writing process is complicated, it’s so not easy to write something and feel ready to share it, no matter how much time it takes, you will never ever feel truly and utterly ready to share it, you’ll have that worry in your mind that maybe it’s stupid, or incomplete, or inconsistent or whatever else

And guess what? Sometimes, the worried voice in your head is completely right

But what matters is how you tackle it

Even if you share an idea, remember that you can always change your mind about it, you can absolutely go back and say, I don’t like that idea anymore and so I’ll remove/ change/ replace it

Ideas are never set in stone, you change and grow as a person as so do your ideas, they grow and change with you as you learn more and more, and sometimes they don’t, they don’t change at all, and that’s ok too

You can’t keep worrying about whether the story or idea you’re working on is ready or complete, because all you’re going to do is just walk around in circles and end up never sharing anything at all

It’s ok to be worried, but you can’t let your worries control you, of course, it’s not easy to ignore your worries, but it’s better than feeling stuck with your ideas

I myself do deal with these worries a lot, most of the time i just tell my brain “shut up” and share my ideas anyway, other times my worries do get the best of me and i tend to keep some ideas to myself

But sharing your ideas is actually essential for you to actually be able to work on them and refine them, because people might start asking questions or giving really good feedback that you actually sit with yourself to think about

But what if they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it? That’s actually a good thing, it’ll make you sit down and think of how to connect the dots and answer it, not only does it mean you’re actually making progress on your story/ideas, but these kinda questions help you understand different perspectives and by that, you learn and grow in your writing

It’s ok to be worried and to keep ideas to yourself sometimes, but don’t let them fester, because believe me, eventually your passion is gonna burn out because you kept overthinking it to the point it became just a worry than something you enjoy doing

In fact, to give you a bit of motivation, imma actually share one of the ideas I never shared cause I was afraid it’ll be a bit stupid and out of character

And I’m very worried about sharing it, but fuck my worry I do what I want

Remember when I mentioned Dream received one gift from Nightmare, and never received anything after? My idea for that gift was an echo flower he gave Dream, and it echoes one thing “I love you”

There, I shared it ouuughh the stress of sharing it is killing me actually, but I mean I can keep worrying about it forever, or actually share it and refine it later if I wanted, I choose the latter

And your ideas are never going to be perfect anyway, but you can improve them with time, even after sharing them

That’s all I do really shzggz

So go out there and start sharing anon, fuck anxiety, you can do whatever you want, you’re unstoppable

[crows4luna]

571 words. mature, suggestive. heavy sexual tension. unedited. pop star!reader. reader is not mc. reader has a blood evol and actually has a backbone so they see through caleb's bullshit. reader is afab. reunion-ish with colonel caleb. caleb is horny for reader and fantasizes about them. is this toxic? it might be. | i was originally going to write this scene in compliance for my oc story but i saw it more as a universally open concept. thus, here we are. if anyone was curious on how i interpret a blood manipulation evol, it's a combination of katara from atla as well as marie and victoria from the boys/gen v. 𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀now playing: sports car - tate mcrae

A curt tilt of his head, and his eyes flick down then back up at you. The hardened glance softens just the slightest, looking at you with the slightest undercurrent of fondness. He speaks, as he lowers his cap, setting it aside on the table behind him, “You did great out there.”

You scoff, swiveling around in your chair before the vanity, crossing one leg over the other. It’s him, in the flesh, but Caleb was a stranger in every way possible. Sure, you grieved him at one point, but there were other things that heeded your attention. Problems that arose because greedy scientists and investors continued to get too bold.

“You look beautiful tonight,” the colonel continues to shower you in praise.

Your senses are sharp, despite your calm demeanor. You learned a lot from the N109 Zone, from dealing with seedier investors in the Nest before that.

His praise is genuine, and you don’t miss the way his eyes flutter up and down over your form. A dazzling silver two-piece outfit hugs your body, modest in its coverage but short enough to tease with the skin that’s bared. (And, of course, being able to dance in it.) Up to your knees were patent white boots, giving you a little more height when you stood.

Of course you were stunning.

“It’s very thoughtful of the Fleet to host a music festival of all things for Skyhaven’s people,” you shrug, lips curling into a soft smile. “I’m honored to have been invited as the headliner.”

It’s Caleb’s turn to display his amusement, chuckling briefly in a lowered tone, “I just thought about giving you a more reasonable excuse to come here.”

That one pinches a little.

You grimace, knowing that he sees through you. Knowing that being here is a more dire situation than being a dancing monkey as a temporary distraction. But even if that was the case, you could feel the unique pulse of his blood as he watched you from the shadows. The way you were a natural, captivating performer on that stage like it was home—it had him under your spell.

Caleb had to admit to himself, shamelessly, the way you made him feel has not wavered at all. Seeing you like that tonight reassured him of everything—and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go to bed tonight without fucking into his fist at the thought of you.

“Watch yourself, colonel. I—”

“I think it’s you who needs to be cautious,” he drawls, stepping towards you. He bends to the knee, violet eyes raking over the expanse of your thighs, your exposed abdomen. How badly he wants you—needs you—right now is unbearable. He’s getting hard again.

But those sinful thoughts disappear, when he realizes your own bold demeanor mirrors his own. You’re not tense at all, nor does he sense anything amiss in your form.

You’re unable to tear your gaze away from his.

A slight vibration thrums in the thickened air between you both. Caleb’s ears ring just the slightest, though he doesn’t falter or twitch.

Until he feels a thick trickle from his nostrils. The tips of his leather-gloved fingers press against the blood, and it doesn’t take long for him to figure you out. Between the minimal, dark red on his fingers and your unwavered focus, Caleb only smirks.

He’s going to enjoy this game between you two.

[crowithy]

Gonna take this chance to ramble about the world building I swear I will post eventually, but just the points from this in no.particular order

- 3 moons (4 if you count the one that blew up)

- planetary rings (from the moon that blew up)

- no "true night" due to how much light is reflected from the moons and rings (think twilight and little to no stars)

- Moons aren't actually moons, they are dormant gods (sleeping like curled up cats) that slowly turned to stone. The moon that blew up was because of a fight amongst all 4 gods, against him. This fight was due to a disagreement about how to deal with the mortals during the "chaos times".

- a very rare "weather" pattern caused by mass death in one localized area. Unnamed as of yet but it's essentially a tornado of souls trying to rip itself apart, but inadvertently pulling itself together. (Like crabs in a bucket, it's not intentional but the act of trying to pull oneself free pulls everyone back in). This was very common during the above mentioned "chaos times" it's also partly how gods form.

- for the dragons of this world some cultures make carvings with inset gems on the horns. Often times the gems reflect the eye color of the dragons partner, or their partners favorite though this isn't exactly a rule.

- technically the dragons on the volcanic islands are obligate carnivores due to not having plants around the active volcanoes. Overtime they lost the ability to digest plants for the most part. The technically is also because on the rarer occasion they will eat rocks. Why? I forgot it's in my notes somewhere tho I'll figure it out eventually.

- due to all animals scaled up to dragonsize humans can't really have animal pets. They get bugs (and maybe some rodents but mostly bugs) the bugs aren't scales proportionally though, a random example is bees are the size of toddlers. Each human kingdom has a dedicated bug, with mixes of each specific species fulfilling some niches by irl domesticated animals (wooly moths acting as sheep, i would put more examples but so far only the moth kingdom is fleshed out) but msot have their own unique things. Bee hives are entire cities (though the cities in this kingdom do range on the smaller side, solely for the bees) which each houses having honeycomb integrated into walls and 2-10 "house bees" depending on size. They also get their own dedicated buildings on each street, for the "street bees". It's a very symbiotic relationship with the bees.

-two of my kingdoms mainly use sign language, the mermaids, due to verbal language not being applicable underwater, although they still use it on land as they prefer it. As well as my bee kingdom, due to having a high deaf population.

- one kingdom uses preserves vines wood and flowers for jewlery. The monarchs crown is even hand weaved by each successive ruler and magically preserved to last year's after their own death. After each ruler, small flowers from the crown are removed and incorporated into the new rulers crown and the largest is added to the throne. The oldest flower on the throne is 500 years old and is a now extinct flower.

- don't know if this counts but the bee kingdom uses honey or beeswax products as currency.

- magic tends to mutate the more exposure or by extensive use of it. Those born magically often often have some sort of visible mutation. For example, a non aquatic dragon may be born with gills. Someone might have an extra pair of wings, a split tail, four ears, an extra toe, one may become biolumecent and glow when injured, the tail tip of one may grow. This happens with humans too though less common.

- in relation to this, the magic mutations also are the reason dragons despite being wild different are able to hybridize. Think like dog breed except it was magic. This happened to humans too, there's mermaids,satyrs,elves,dwarves, but they are still technically human. There's also regular humans, but each still has some magic influenced trait. One kingdom has visible stripes, another has tails (not like animal tails just like if you extended a human spine). The mutations just depend on the amount of magic in the area

- speaking of magic, magic is caused by the moon dust and rocks that settled and landed on the planet. I mean its the corpse of a dead god

- one of the human kingdoms makes jewlry from bug exoskeletons

- the aquatic dragon kingdoms can change the color of their skin and communicates by creating patterns, with color acting as like tone indicators/punctuation. (They also have really soft scales because of this ability)

- the gods do *kinda* looks like people, if your counting dragons but in a weird messed up way. Like it's a mix of human and dragon features in a way that it's really neither. Idk if this really counts tho. There are lesser gods that look like neither but I'm not fleshing those out yet

- the main aquatic kingdom tends to make jewlery from sea glass more than crystals

-carnivorous unicorns

-carnivorous rabbits

And that's all I have that fits this

Small fantasy worldbuilding elements you might want to think about:

A currency that isn’t gold-standard/having gold be as valuable as tin

A currency that runs entirely on a perishable resource, like cocoa beans

A clock that isn’t 24-hours

More or less than four seasons/seasons other than the ones we know

Fantastical weather patterns like irregular cloud formations, iridescent rain

Multiple moons/no moon

Planetary rings

A northern lights effect, but near the equator

Roads that aren’t brown or grey/black, like San Juan’s blue bricks

Jewelry beyond precious gems and metals

Marriage signifiers other than wedding bands

The husband taking the wife's name / newlyweds inventing a new surname upon marriage

No concept of virginity or bastardry

More than 2 genders/no concept of gender

Monotheism, but not creationism

Gods that don’t look like people

Domesticated pets that aren’t re-skinned dogs and cats

Some normalized supernatural element that has nothing to do with the plot

Magical communication that isn’t Fantasy Zoom

“Books” that aren’t bound or scrolls

A nonverbal means of communicating, like sign language

A race of people who are obligate carnivores/ vegetarians/ vegans/ pescatarians (not religious, biological imperative)

I’ve done about half of these myself in one WIP or another and a little detail here or there goes a long way in reminding the audience that this isn’t Kansas anymore.

[lu-is-not-ok]

What do you suppose is the underlying difference that determines someone getting Magic Bullet or Fell Bullet E.G.O.?

It's something that's been on mind since WP5 began and remembering there being a lot of E.G.O overlap between Heathcliff and Outis (Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam, Holiday, Binds, and Sunshower if you count Heath's TLA ID).

I keep thinking about this ask and turning it in my brain so I think it's about time to figure out an answer here.

So. Der Freischütz (who I will refer to as Der Frei from now on) and Der Fluchschütze (who I will refer to as Der Fluch).

Der Frei comes from an opera of the same name, and literally translates to The Marksman or The Freeshooter.

Der Frei's concept as an abnormality is a man who recieved a gun from the Devil, one that had bullets that could never miss, but the last of which would kill the one he loved. In response, Der Frei chose to kill everyone he loved first, so that he would never reach that final bullet. This act had unknowingly still fulfilled the Devil's contract, causing the man to become a sort of Devil himself, now being the one offering the bullet to others himself.

The Lobcorp flavor text "Long ago, Der Freischütz’s heart was pierced by the magic bullet, which always hits its mark." implies that the target of that final bullet was actually Der Frei himself, leaving him unable to feel joy or love, only the impulse to hunt and kill.

Der Fluch doesn't appear to have a direct name inspiration, but his name translates to The Curse/Cursed Shooter.

Der Fluch's concept as an abnormality is similar to Der Frei, but with notable differences. Just like Der Frei, he recieved a gun from the Devil on the condition that its final bullet would hit the one he loved.

The first difference comes from what the gun is enchanted to do. For Der Frei, the bullets are said to never miss. For Der Fluch the bullets are said to be able to "blow up anything". Notably the type of gun differs between the two as well, Der Frei using a sniper rifle (a gun associated with precision at a distance), while Der Fluch uses a shotgun (a gun associated with large damage at short range).

The second difference is the way the two tried to wiggle their way out of their deals. Der Frei simply killed all of his loved ones before ever reaching the final bullet, showing he never actually loved them and cared more about himself, thus the final bullet hit his heart.

Der Fluch on the other hand simply doesn't remember who his beloved is, having been a part of the war for so long that he simply forgot. As such, he believes himself to be able to kill without any worry about harming whoever his beloved might be, even finding it exhilarating to imagine those he kills to still remember their loved ones. However, Der Fluch is always carrying a pendant holding a picture of that beloved, and if he's made to look into it, he's filled with fear and grief as the next bullet he shoots immediately goes for that beloved, and he laments that he didn't want to remember the people he loved anymore.

There's also the interesting choice of the name of the E.G.O. Der Frei's Magic Bullet brings to mind a miraculous item, something that he finds to be desireable, which reflects how he had no qualms with taking out his loved ones for the sake of keeping the gun and bullets. On the other hand, Der Fluch's Fell Bullet gives the impression that the bullet is actively harmful, dangerous and cruel, reflecting Der Fluch's own cruelty in the warzone and how in the end the bullet will still find its true mark.

...That was a lot of yapping. Ok. Let's get back to the question.

I think these are the main differences between Magic Bullet and Fell Bullet that might be determining which goes to what Sinner. The ascribed purpose of the Bullet, the method for avoiding the consequences of the deal, and the actual consequences in question.

Magic Bullet is the promise of precise results, to reach the target regardless of what is in the way. The one who accepts it is someone who is willing to sacrifice everyone and everything around them, even those they believe they care about. In consequence they lose their heart, being left alone and unable to turn back to the way things were.

Fell Bullet is the promise of mindless destruction, to do whatever one wants just cause. The one who accepts it is someone who wishes to forget their past, who ignores their surroundings just so they can live without thinking about those they care about. The consequence is that, eventually, they cannot ignore what's in front of them and end up bringing destruction to those they wished to protect by forgetting.

Focus on the goal vs mindlessly indulging. Sacrifices that lead to losing oneself vs willful ignorance that leads to hurting someone else.

[athetos]

A few other things I’m chewing on from severance s2e2:

Them needing Mark to do ‘Cold Harbor’, to the point that they actually re-hired the others, is pretty big. At first I figured they put Gemma near him just as a silly experiment but now I’m fully convinced it’s because he knew her so well that even as an innie he’s able to subconsciously retain a lot of that and thus is able to sort her brain better than anyone else. She might be the only braindead person they’re trying to revive right now just to prove that it works before they do the founders, so they can’t just abandon the project.

Cobel is going to inevitably team up with mark in the future, I think he’s going to track her down and they’ll have a heart to heart, she’ll reveal why she’s been so invested in his life and their work and team up to take Lumen down. I feel she could be swayed fairly easily into turning against them if the right things were said and she realized they’d never let her get what she wants anyway.

It didn’t occur to me that being severed fucks you over severely if you ever look for another job. Beyond the obvious “most people outside of Lumen think being severed is inhumane and would never hire someone who would agree to it,” you have no fucking job skills! You can’t tell what you did on the job, not because of an NDA, but because you genuinely don’t know. It’s like having a however many months/years long gap in your resume with nothing to show for it, but worse. No wonder Lumen must have a high retention rate for severed employees - you’ll probably come crawling back begging for a job because it’s all you have left.

I have a bad feeling something is going to happen to Devon. The one executive guy overheard them, and I have no doubt that they know she’s the one encouraging Mark to keep looking for Gemma and answers. However, she did also convince him to keep the job, so…

I need more info on outtie Irving so fucking badly. I need to know what he knows. How is he retaining information from his innie? Is it really from sleep deprivation (and Motörhead)? How did he have Burt’s name? What is going onnnn!

[moonshinesonic-moonstarslight]

Apparently I am desperate for Cumplane.. i have too many ideas in my head right now (And can't work on any WIPs at the moment...)

So have a little list!

1: Tiny Cumplane aka the OGs get zapped with something and out pops 'younger versions' of themselves. But these little versions act differently... So the villains have the Author and his greatest fan/anti-fan running around driving them up the walls... Cumplane is just having fun and being terrors about it.

2: Lightning and Yogurt aka Shen Yuan wakes up back in the modern world being hauled to the hospital. Questions if it was all a dream, so the first thing he does is try to contact Airplane (once he is able to). Doesn't reach the man and he has been offline for a while according to his search. Worried he ends up talking to himself about his concern for Airplane when his hospital roommate, who just joined him after long extensive neuro surgery, pipes up. "How did you know that I got electrocuted by my computer, bro?"

3: Too Many Plants aka modern Cumplane where Shen Yuan meets an exhausted student assistant at a botanical garden who while obviously dead on his feet gives him the most interesting and knowledgeable tour he had ever been on. So he ends up trying to get in contact with the guy again and talk. (because he made plants of all things interesting not because he was cute!) Combine phone tag with email messages and you have poor Airplane trying to get a clear answer from Curious Plant guy if he is actually looking for a relationship or what. Also Cucumber-bro stop quoting Airplane on how plants work! He knows those lines he said them enough, let him write a smut book to pay his bills in peace!

4: Little Villains aka the opposite of Tiny Cumplane. Little versions of the OGs are running around demanding attention from our transmigrators who are dealing with questions about possible soul splitting (closest thing to what happened they guess), alternative timelines (nevermind, definitely this), or the possibility that these are their newfound offspring... That they had together because of hand wavy magic.... Airplane got an earfull because of that one. (OGs are now teaming up to make it seem like it's the last one. Just a little revenge~, surely their parents understand right~?)

Might go into more detail in their own posts.. which one do you want to hear about?

[schizosupport]

While I understand where you might be coming from, I think you fundamentally misunderstand OP's point, while lacking awareness of what it can be like to be a patient in the psychiatric system.

You acknowledge yourself that if you have a bad doctor, you need to change to a better one. But you also say to always trust your doctor, or you won't get better. These two statements can't coexist, because if you trust your doctor no matter what, you won't be able to protect yourself from bad doctors "and change to a new one" or whatever else protecting yourself might entail.

Now, OP isn't actually saying not to trust a doctor that you have found to be good and helpful and trustworthy. What OP is saying, is that placing blind trust in a bad psychiatrist can lead to real life harm for psychiatric patients.

Psychiatrists have systemic power over their patients, and they can both force you into treatments, and deny you treatments, based on the information you share with them. I'll give a couple examples.

1) A friend of mine who had been struggling severely and unable to work for the past year due to stress and increasing panic attacks/flashbacks finally went to see a psychiatrist at a hospital. The first person she talked to was really nice. She asked about drugs and my friend admitted that she occasionally smokes weed to calm down from the very symptoms that she's seeking help for. The psych was understanding. A couple interviews later she gets a new doctor who has a different opinion. And skip to two years later where the system is still denying her care bc "she has a drug addiction" while the drug addiction clinic is denying her care bc "that doesn't count as a drug addiction" and "she would stop smoking weed if someone cared for her glaring mental problems". She is not alone, this is a very common scenario across the world. If you admit to ever touching drugs you may very well be denied care indefinitely. The community recommendation in my country is to never admit to any substance use, even to people in the system who seem understanding, because others in the system may be less so, and you may never get the care you need. As you can imagine, this gets very complicated for people where the drug use is also a large issue on its own.

2) Another friend of mine went to get assessed for adhd. They said they couldn't finish the assessment bc she was too disorganized, and she was sent to be assessed for a schizo spec disorder instead. She was desparate to get any diagnosis at all bc she really really needed help. Here she was given a schizotypal diagnosis. After this she was being treated for this with antipsychotics. They didn't do anything good for her, in fact they made her worse. She tried to ask to be reassessed for ADHD but was denied bc it was seen as a delusion. Her gender identity (which she had been out and in treatment for, for years) was seen as a delusion, and the psychiatric system blocked her from getting the necessary paperwork to get surgery. Eventually she went private sector and found a good psychiatrist who diagnosed her with ADHD. With adhd meds things started improving, she also got her letter from the private psych and got her surgery. (And she's doing so much better!!) But if she hadn't had the means to go private, then her psychiatrists would've been able to block her from the right treatment and life saving surgery indefinitely. This is an example of what can happen from being honest about even quasi-psychotic symptoms, and the ways psychiatrists often have power to block and gatekeep certain treatments from you based on how THEY perceive you and your reality.

3) A third friend of mine is schizophrenic and on a treatment order. She hasn't done anything criminal, but where she lives you can be put on a treatment order simply if a panel of psychiatrists decide that if you don't get forced treatment, you might deterioate. So for a long time she had injections of a medication that was not helping, but that was causing severe side effects, forced on her. This is one of many examples of psychiatrists wielding systemic power over their patients.

Many psychiatric patients fear being honest with their care providers, because it can lead to forced hospitalization, forced medication, or it can lead to denial of care and treatment. This is not an ungrounded fear. These are things that happen to people. Sure, some may fear this beyond what's realistic in their situation, so anxiety can mix with this, but it is a real thing to be aware of.

And as I've attempted to illustrate with these examples, it's not as simple as "if you get a bad doctor, get a new one". This is often not an option, there's often a paper trail that follows you from doctor to doctor, and even the first doctor you meet have power over you, and can potentially make your situation worse if they are bad at their job.

I know several people who have been severely overmedicated and wrongfully medicated. One person I knew was taking 10 different medications at once, including heavy duty antipsychotics despite not having experienced or being diagnosed with psychosis, and benzodiazepines on a completely irresponsible regiment that got her severely physically addicted. She didn't start to get better, before she slowly weaned off all these substances against her doctor's recommendation.

In an ideal world we could always trust our doctors, and be honest from the get-go, with the assumption that they know what they're doing and won't force or deny care.

But in the reality we live in, doctors have systemic power over patients, and not all doctors are good. So therefore it is in fact important to advocate for yourself, seek out information independent from your own doctor, talk to others in the community about their experiences, and yes. To be tactical about what you do and do not share with your psychiatrist. And when it does fuck up, you may very well need a lawyer. For example if you want to sue for wrongful treatment, overuse of coercion, or to get you off a treatment order that's destroying your life.

I really recommend doing some research into the kind of abuse and neglect that unfortunately takes place in the psychiatric system, before speaking so confidently on the matter.

Psychiatry differs fundamentally from oncology in its views on patients' rights to autonomy, and in the level of power granted to your doctor to control your life. But that said, most of us are not experts on oncology either. Which means that in reality it can be pretty hard to know whether your oncologist is good, and whether you need a new one. And somatic medicine is not free of bias, abuse and neglect either.

So TLDR, OP isn't saying never to seek help or not to trust your doctor with anything, she's saying to be aware of the potential pitfalls and to be tactical in your approach and to advocate for yourself, and not to trust psychiatric authority blindly.

That's not ableism, that's realism.

I want and need more discussions of how, when you're labeled mentally ill, a psychiatrist is in fact an authoritative figure with systemic power over your life and autonomy who might in some cases turn out to be bigoted or abusive. Most of us know that statements like "you should always tell the cops everything! They just want to help you" are harmful, and yet I constantly see posts telling people to trust their psychs with everything if they want to get better without any mentions of what can happen and how to protect yourself if it turns out your psych isn't a good guy

[hauntedhokage]

Anticipation

Itoshi Rin/F!Reader

rating: explicit

summary: you’re cat sitting for Rin while he’s away, the distance between you encouraging you to ask for help with more intimate matters.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: phone sex

Requested!

“Your cat is an asshole.”

Your comment makes Rin snort, a rare amused sound leaving the stoic striker.

“He likes you more than me.”

“I doubt it.”

This time it’s a thoughtful hum that leaves him, your best friend clearly considering how he would try to convince you that his cat did actually like you. But instead he tells you that the fluffy menace was only your problem for a couple more days, then you were no longer at risk of having your feet swiped at from under various pieces of furniture in his apartment.

“It’ll be nice to have you back for the mid season break,” you comment, making your way to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Time zones had been tricky for his daily check ins, his practices rubbing late had him calling and leaving voicemails while you were asleep. This was the first time in about a week that you’d actually spoken to him, and that was only because you were staying up late to get to do that.

“Yeah, save you from my asshole cat.”

“We can have a movie night or something,” you suggest, getting comfortable in his bed that has become yours while he was gone. The sheets still smelled like him despite his absence, and you weren’t going to deny how nice it was to be surrounded by his scent. “A lot of good ones streaming now.”

“That’d be fine. What are you doing right now, I don’t want to keep you up.”

“I want to talk to you,” you start, settling into the pillows while eyeing the vibrator charging on his nightstand. “Just got into bed, but I’m not tired so don’t hang up unless you have to.”

“I’ve got about an hour. Enjoying my bed?”

“A lot.” He hums at that. “Might just move in and make you take the couch.”

“We can share.”

That wasn’t a standard Rin answer; he should’ve said something along the lines of changing the locks or making you sleep on the floor. Not that you hadn’t shared a bed with him before, you were both mature adults that could do that without things faring awkward, but that was how he teased you.

But speaking of teasing, there was something more delicate on your mind and you were confident that Rin would be able to help - it would just be easier to ask if you didn’t have to look at him when you did. You’d need to be careful, tiptoeing along this line between friend and something else - something more - was a task done delicately. Otherwise the whole friendship could crumble, and Rin was not a person that you wanted to lose.

“Why are you quiet?”

“Wanted to ask you something, but I’m not sure how to ask.”

“Then just ask.”

Easy for him to say, he was great at being blunt (most of the time). This wasn’t something you were sure about, as Rin’s affection came few and far between. But you’d known about a girlfriend or two, affairs that didn’t last long but were long enough that he’d slept with them so he was your only option.

“How do you make a girl cum? Like…what’s your technique?” You feel like you’re in a furnace, your face hot as there’s a pause on the other side of the call. He probably thought you were stupid, figuring out how to cut this tie and ensure his cat was still taken care of from today on.

“Was there a sexual awakening that I missed?”

“Uh…no?” Your voice wobbles, embarrassment having taken over but you know you’re in the fire now. Rin wouldn’t drop this - he sounded too interested to be willing to. “It’s more like a me problem.”

“You need help finishing yourself off.”

“It sounds pathetic when you say it like that!” Your complaint earns a chuckle from him on the other side, and your face is warm with embarrassment. “But basically, yeah. I get so close and then it’s just…gone. Kinda silly, but it’s bugging me.”

“I can see why. Are you in my bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Bring anything with you?”

You hesitate to answer, since the implication of a positive response would be that you were masturbating in his bed while he was away. Not that it mattered, considering that you just told him something deeply personal regarding your sex life - a vibrator in his bed likely would be nothing in comparison.

“Don’t get it yet, first take your shorts off for me.”

It’s easy to follow instructions when it was Rin dishing them out. Usually the mask he wore when out playing soccer slipped, leaving a soft spoken man who just rolled with the punches for you to hang out with in your shared free time. When he maintained that control it always turned you on, the dull tenor of his voice and cold gaze sending shockwaves directly to your core that had you pushing yourself closer to him to absorb more of that energy that radiated off of him.

You’re obedient as he gives you instructions, first to wet your middle finger before sliding it between your folds. It’s only a bit embarrassing to feel just how wet you were hurt from talking to Rin - and you couldn’t even see what he was doing on the other side of the ocean. He sounds amused at the information, telling you to bring some of that wetness up to your clit.

“It’s about building anticipation,” he says, and you open your legs more as you continue to move your finger in tight circles. “Patience is key, don’t rush it.”

It was hard to be patient when you were desperate for that release that had been evading you for weeks. First it was just day by day, believing it was just a mental block or stress keeping you from cumming, but gradually became hour-by-hour that you worried you would never feel that bliss again. Patience would be near impossible when this was something you wanted more than anything else - if anything just to make sure that there wasn’t something irreversibly wrong with you.

“Relax.”

“‘M trying.”

“Not hard enough.” He was such a bastard. “I can’t get off until you do.”

Of course he’d challenge himself, placing a stipulation on his ability to help you reach that peak and actually fall off the edge and onto the other side. Typical Rin, but the labored breathing on the other end tells you something else. This wasn't just him helping you get off, this was full fledged phone sex now, the official crossing of a line previously left untouched. The question of what happens after this is better left unspoken, held back until Rin was in the same room as you and neither of you could dance around the topic. Not that he would, but you wanted to cover all bases.

“Do you need to stretch yourself out a bit or can you take your vibrator without it?”

“I should be okay without it.”

“Get it wet with your mouth, but play with it a little bit like you would if it was me.”

This had to be part of the anticipation. Playing with the toy that would be penetrating you as if trying to get it just as excited as you were. The additional prompt to treat it as if it were him you were sucking has your face hot - as if you were sitting directly in front of a fire.

“D-do you want it to be me stroking your cock?”

“As much as I’m sure you want it to be me rubbing your clit right now.” That had you humming as you brought your vibrator to your lips, setting your phone on your chest while on speaker so you could still hear him but use both your hands. “But we’ll work that out when I get back.”

You wish he could see you nod around the vibrator, since the sound you made at his statement could easily be interpreted as a sound you made at rubbing your clit. This would be so much easier if he was here, but you’d make do with what you had.

“Sounds so messy,” he teases, but you don’t care because you knew he liked it since he bothered to comment on it. “Get it nice and wet?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then push it in slowly. I want you to feel every inch of it.”

You do as he says, eyes falling shut at the feeling of the penetration and trying to picture Rin on top of you. His hair would probably fall in his face, tickling your face as it moved with his head and his thrust.

His name tumbles from your lips in a stuttered gasp, prompting his own groan that has you clenching around your toy as you continue to guide it in. He reminds you to relax and take it slow, and you take a couple deep breaths before continuing until it’s at the hilt.

“Don’t turn it on yet, fuck yourself with it for me. Move slow,” he instructs, voice heavy with his own lust. “But move your fingers slow on your clit. Feel it build a bit.”

You crave the additional stimulation from the vibration but don’t dare to defy Rin’s instructions after you’d asked him for help. He wasn’t above stopping entirely if you went against his suggestion, and for your own sake you push the thought aside as your hands move like he’d instructed.

When he tells you to turn on the toy you don’t hesitate, keeping it on the lowest setting as he’d instructed and keeping the thrusts slow.

“Takin’ it so well,” he mumbles, and you nod your agreement as your hips raise of their own accord. “Feel good?”

“Y-yeah. You?”

“Yeah.” He pauses, and you can hear the wet sound of his hand sliding along his shaft. His breathing was labored, you assumed that he was doing his best to hold off as he’d promised, the sound one of the sexiest noises you'd ever heard in your life and would happily play on loop as the soundtrack to assist in your next solo session.

“Pick up the pace a bit. Not too fast and angle it so it’s pointing upwards a bit.”

He continues to instruct you, an “oh, fuck” or “shit” breaking up his sentences on occasion but making you clench around the toy you fucked yourself with. Being part of the reason why the ever-collected Rin Itoshi was falling apart was a unique position to be in, but a position you were excited to be in. The adjusted angle has you seeing stars, the tightening of your core an indicator of an ending you hoped you achieved.

“R-Rin, I’m gonna cum.” You actually were, and you were so excited that he’d gotten you there. “Oh my god, I’m gonna-“

“Don’t hold it. Cum for me and let me hear you.”

The way you cry out when you finally tip over that edge is unrecognizable. The waves of pleasure that crash through your system have your legs shaking as your thighs clench around your hand, tears pricking at your eyes at the immense pleasure you were finally getting to experience after what felt like a lifetime. On the other end of the line you hear Rin’s stifled groans as you assume he reached his own end. He probably looked so pretty, chest heaving and hair sticking to his forehead since he’d sweat, you couldn’t wait to see it in person when he got back.

Your body relaxes back into the mattress, your vibrator turned off but still held in your pussy as you try to steady your breathing as he asks: “Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m home on Thursday, and I’ll make you cum so many times you’ll forget you ever had issues with it.”

“Threat or promise?”

“Both.”

[thefrontmanscockwarmer]

Easier

Player 001 x reader [Fluff]

Masterlist <- Comment on this post to be added to the tag list

“Gi-Hun” you groaned as he took your bottle of water, holding it above your head.

“Come on, just grab it” he chuckled. “Or are you too short?” He faked the pensive thought before smiling again.

“Big brother” you drawled. “When I get out of here, I swear, I’m kicking your ass.” You say, putting your hands on your hips.

“Well, if we play one more game, you might end up dumber than you already are.” He chuckled, poking your ribs.

“No stupider than you” you stuck your tongue out. Gi-hun was your older brother, you honestly hadn’t spoken to him in a while, since you went off to university. He was still annoying.

“Well, dummy, you ended up here due to your poor money choices” he countered. The grim scenario now a joke as you fought. Young il, coming up behind you, reaching over your head for that bottle.

“Thanks Young-“ you reached for it before he threw it up to Gi-Hun engaging you in a game of Monkey in the Middle. “Come on guys!” You pouted.

“What, bunny? You gonna cry?” Young il teased.

“No, stupid head.” You spit back.

“Me? A stupid head? No way” he poked you as you reached for your water bottle, jumping as high as you could but not being able to reach.

“Hey, look at that stupid girl!” The purple haired guy snickered from behind you with his idiot friend. “Can’t even reach her water bottle” he walked closer to you.

“Leave me alone moron” you say before turning back to Gi-Hun for your water bottle. Thanos grabbed your arm, spinning you around.

“What did you say? Bitch?” He asked, his breath dusting your face. You cringed.

“I called you a moron.” You say as you reach for your nose. “Also, your breath smells so awful, back up like, 10 feet so i can actually breathe” you say, sass lacing your voice. He cocked his arm back, Gi-Hun and Young il stepping to be in front of you. You stuck your tongue out at Thanos from behind the two men in front of him.

“What’s up, freaks?” Thanos laughs as the two men looked at him with stoic expressions.

“Who the hell do you think you are? Putting your hands on her like that” Gi-hun asks.

“I’m just messing with her” he tries to play off.

“Didn’t look like playing to me” Young il says calmly.

“Well- i just- i mean “ Thanos stuttered over his words.

“Let me make this easy for you, since you seem to not have a brain” Gi-Hun begins. “If you put your hands on her again`, i swear, you’ll have a worse punishment than being shot” Gi-Hun threatened in a low voice. Before anyone had a chance to say another word, Young il punched him in the face.

“Get the fuck out of here” Young il shouted heatedly, kicking him in the stomach making him fall.

“Yeah get the fuck out” Gi-Hun pointed past him as he scooted backwards before standing and running off. You ran to the aid of Young il, grabbing his hand and inspecting it.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? How’s your hand?” You ask rapidly. You ripped off your jacket, wrapping it around his fist. He smiled softly. He removed it, handing your jacket back to you.

“Yes, I’m okay. No, I’m not hurt” he chuckles lightly at your pressing concern.

“(Y/n), you know he’s a grown man right-“ you slapped Gi-Huns chest shutting him up.

“I didn’t see you punch him, Big brother” you rolled your eyes. You led Young il back to your bed.

You guys were beginning to barricade your side, predicting that they were going to start a fight in the middle of the night. Without some push back, Young il agreed to let Gi-Hun take the first shift.

“You know, you’re so beautiful (y/n)” Young il said as he brushed hair from your face. You giggled. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious” he gave a smile.

“Because, I dunno, I just like hearing you say my name” you giggled shyly.

“(Y/n), (y/n), (y/n)” he said quickly, tickling you gently making you burst out in laughter. He shushed you gently, laughing himself. “Shhhh, you’re gonna wake people up, and Gi-Huns gonna come over here worrying, and get mad that we’re all cuddled up together.”

“Oh shut up, he’s just my brother.” You say, lightly pushing him.

“I dont knowww” he trailed. “He did tell a guy he’d kill him if he touched you again”

“Well, that only applies to that one guy” you say looking at his lips. “You’re an exception.”

“Oh am i?” He says grinning as he pulled you closer to him. His lips just inches from yours.

“Yeah, you are” you tell him before he gently attached him lips to yours. You smile into the kiss as you feel his hand sneak itself under your shirt and around to your back to rub your it. You copied his motion as you rubbed his chest. He didn’t look fit in that baggy sweat suit, but you were tracing his abs gently. He smiled as your hand laced in his hair as he shifted to get more on top of you. Your light moans as you kissed were setting him on fire. He got off of you.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just… getting excited” he says shyly. You laughed, cupping his face.

“It’s okay, pretty boy.” You say. “ I think it’s supposed to get easier to get excited when you’re kissing a girl you really like.” You kiss him.

“Mmm like?”

“Yeah?” You reply confused.

“I was thinking love” he shrugs.

“Love is perfect.” You cut him off. Kissing him one last time before curling into his chest to sleep. His wrapped his arms around you, sighing with content.

“I love you” he declares aloud.

“I love you” you return.

“Too?” He inquires.

“No, the word ‘too’ means in addition, or also. I love you.” You tell him with a yawn. He opened his mouth making a quiet ‘oh’ motion.

“Well then, love is love. I love you.” He repeated.

“I love you more” you return, grinning. He smiled as he laid down. Letting sleep overcome him.

Tag list

@christinamadsen @sebbymybaby21

[urautismdiagnosis]

Barnacles Psyche and Trauma Post

@traumatizedartist

Listen y'all we all know the canon event where lil bro got stuck in a hole when he was a kid. Little polar bear scout cub, ice broke under him, got trapped in a deep little hole and was left all alone while waiting for the others to *maybe* figure out a way to rescue him.

Now the guys claustrophobic, HOWEVER-

bro coulda died

how long was he left all alone, possibly for the first time as a kid? he didn't even have his twin that's like, that's terrifying-

did he wonder if they'd even come back? If they'd even be able to find a way to get him out lest he freeze or starve to death in a hole? Rationally we'd assume hey they'd find an adult if they failed, but cmon, a panicked kid is not gonna assume that.

do you think he wouldn't have tried to escape on his own? only to fail and fail? helpless?

In the earlier seasons of The Octonauts, there was a certain incident that always stuck out to me, even when I watched it years ago-

OCTONAUTS AND THE MANATEES

During this episode, captain barnacles had been out driving the GUP-A when it was struck by lightening. Soon after, the octonauts realize there's a group of manatees that are close to the surface of the dangerous thunderstorm. Their plan is to transport the manatees to the octopod during the storm since manatees can't just dive down because they need to breathe air.

Barnacles has open communication and guides them all step by step for this entire operation, complications and all, through his octo compass.

Even though Barnacles tried to ignore the lightening strike by diving deeper into the water, the GUP still got struck, which caused to spin out of control and crash. Even the spread of electricity in the water is dangerous. As a result, he got his forearm crushed and stuck under a clam for the entire sequence of events I'm going to describe.

Sounds the octoalert realizing the danger the manatees are in by using a piece of seaweed and sticky limpet to grab onto his octo compass.

Barnacles claims he's "doing something else at the moment" when questioned where he is. He also gets actively stung by a jellyfish during the call and does not inform anyone.

There are BARRACUDAS who might attack the captain because of his shiny octo compass, and he has to struggle to hide behind the clam and some rocks while advising the octonauts about how to handle the manatees slow nature and needs. He does not inform anyone.

Barnacles escapes the BARRACUDAS that were far too close to shredding him alive by essentially jumping off an underwater cliff and ending up on the back of a whale, in which he is violently turned and rolling along the back of.

Barnacles is launched by the force of the whale's tail into an actual shipwreck. He continues to guide them through the difficulties of the mission due to the fact there is still one manatee left that may not be able to be transported to the octopod in time.

Barnacles air tank is on low and is actively running out before his eyes, he struggles with removing his arm from the heavy clam as he attempts to use a piece of wood to pry his arm out. He does not tell anyone.

Barnacles manages to escape at the last moment, and is forced to forfeit wearing his helmet as there is no oxygen left. Previously they had flipped the GUP D in order to make a safe airpocket in deeper waters for the manatee, which Peso and Kwazii witness the captain (while holding his own breath) swimming too.

He barely made it.

When questioned where he'd been anyways, he lightheartedly states, and I quote, "Oh, let's see... I was uh... struck by lightning, eaten by a giant clam, stung by a jellyfish, attacked by barracudas, escaped off the back of a blue whale, smashed into a shipwreck, freed myself, ran out of air and... eh... Oh yeah, found you."

What the actual FCK captain barnacles.

LIKE LISTEN MAN, I do not care if he "knew what he was doing" or whatever that is NOT a normal OR healthy response! "Oh but the captain always prioritizes protecting others and he understoo-

NO, he could have literally told his crew, and sure, they were in an "all hands on deck" situation, but he didn't even tell anyone! someone else could have adjusted the plan, someone else could have lessened the responsibility, someone else HAD THE POSSIBILITY OF HELPING

hell even if they had to get professor inkling out he probably would've if he knew BARNACLES MIGHTVE BEEN CLOSE TO DYING, the professor gets out just to protect some small fish that cant rely on a lionmaine jellyfish and he deals with literal predators?! why wouldn't he try to help the captain? and does he seriously think NO other member of theoctonauts would try to find a way to help him? Not the crafty tweak? Not the caring peso? not the daring kwazii? That shellington or dashi might not even have a word of advice?

I raise you all a little theory that is true in my heart and in my au, the subconscious question beneath our lovely captain's psyche:

"What if I am trapped and none of them can help me? Will I have to accept that I'm alone? Again?"

What if it was easier to pretend everything was fine and he had everything totally under control? You don't have to rely on others if you can rely on yourself. You don't have to worry if they'll just deem you a lost cause (like what peso asked about the last manatee... if it was even possible to save...) Forced to wait as you're trapped and in pain....

ᶠᵒʳᶜᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ʷᵒⁿᵈᵉʳ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ ᵈᶦᵈ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗᵒ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ.

DO YALL SEE THE VISION OR AM I CRAZY? ʸᵉˢ ᴵ ᵃᵐ

PERSONAL AU ADDITIONS

This next bit is literally just extra trauma I gave him in my au because like <3 I'm just cute like that yk

global warming btch

Anyways in my au I made his dad die when he was like 3 lol, due to a certain natural incident caused by, oh my what's this-, GLOBAL WARMING AGAIN . I bet his mom had a hard time that surely wouldn't have effected him and given him a strict desire to help help help- that lead u to being the defacto guy to offer his help and thoughts as a polar bear cub scout which just made people look to you automatically.

"u cant really miss someone you don't know : ) besides I can always rely on my family and friends and natquick(the father that STEPPED UP, just to be clear not a step father but like to a father figure) and mentors to guide me"

like omg just SAY you had super angsty years in your 20s where you were like "OMG REALITY SUCKS AND GLOBAL WARMING IS BAD AND WHT THE FCK IS CAPATILISM" internally during his college years lol (bro will always smile lmso)

anyways I'm thinking he met prof inkling and yk they agreed that hey, we need to revolutionize how aid and scientific studies are done, and prof inkling was like! I got it! NASA BUT FOR THE OCEAN- Itll start smaller ofc,but NASA FOR THE OCEAN and then tweak was there and went hell yeah I sure hope we don't crash this highly experimental giant robot octopus ship submarine I've constructed with the grant we all managed to get.

Anyways then the octonauts were born and they were all very happy and suddenly barnacles (despite the trial and error when it was just those three) actually had a plan and could Make A Difference and have control

cuz idk if y'all realize but like, (for me I see them living like a blend of how us humans live, but just socially inspired from the wild thing irl. so maybe they got like Earth Sheltered Homes (think hobbit houses) but with snow and whatever) but basically global warming for Arctic Folk of all countries isn't just like "oh no we cant do our VERY IMPORTANT TRADITIONS WEVE CARRIED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS" but its also like the loss of cultural jobs, literal homes becoming weaker, more natural disasters and idk about y'all but... doesn't it just feel like their entire culture is dying?

sure, they could just "move somewhere else" but that means giving up their land, not being able to uphold their traditions, being forced into communities that they don't have any social niches for. being forced to lose generational jobs and trades. physically struggling in warmer environments. (I headcanon barnacles has to not just cut and trim his fur, but also has to have a sort of cooling pack system under his clothes cuz bros got blubber yk?)

its literally the death of an ancient culture due to corporate greed, and he's watching it actively die out in real time. That's gut wrenching. I can only image.. how... Helpless he must've felt before he could help others who struggled from disasters too.

Anyways he has a "I have to help and adopt everyone" complex thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

ANGSTY STUFF THAT HAPPENED FOR LITERALLY NO REASON OTHER THAN THE FACT I WANTED TO GIVE HIM SCARS AND NOTICED URSA AND ORSON DONT SEEM TO HAVE A DAD

As for the scars, @traumatizedartist Im gonna be honest I don't know why younger me (during my first hyperfixation of octonauts) went "hm... suspicious that bianca doesn't have a husband..." but basically APPARENTLY bianca is just divorced and they ex tried to Idk take ursa and Orson's custody rights and was a *ahem* very bad douche bag about it and the like. Well cmon man I think barnacles deserves to have a side of himself he doesn't want to share!

Like I'm so sorry but if ur telling me I SHOULDNT have made the captain literally get into a real polar bear fight and get the scars (of victory) while trying to protect his own family-

listen I know he's the "lets talk it out even f ur trying to eat me" type, but people aren't animals (very funny to our perspective ik ik) and if someone can fully understand the situation and the threats their making, like animals act on instinct mostly, but people can CHOOSE to suck.

People can CHOOSE to be selfish and greedy, so if you're tired of always trying to talk things out over and over and the guy you FCKING HATE is right there acting threatening and crazy you're absolutely gonna remember the years your sister spent going rough on you in play fights (fond memories and very educational<3) you're absolutely gonna show her how good you are by beating her ex up.

bianca was not there at the time but I like to think despite her being smaller she would have probably been able to handle both of them lmso lets be real barnacles just knows how to fight but he doesn't have the spirit lol

anyways I just think it'd be so awesome, it'd be so cool, if he had polar bear angst fight scars that he hides under his clothes and sleeves <3

ok I'm done, or not really, but the future angst I have planned for my happy lil (very tall) fuzzy snow guy cant be spoiled yet cuz I got PLANS that I have not enacted yet <3

man I was really mean to him huh, wait till y'all see what I've done to kwazii lol

Bonus thoughts "Lord and savior of the manatees"

none of the other octonauts have uh, the same level of "Yo What The Actual Fck" as those two (they match eachothers freak in an aro ace aspecss with trauma way) but they all got a little something going on in their noggins.

other than professor inkling and the vegimals tho, I would NEVER harm any of the vegimals EVER (genuinely) and professor inkling just looks too happy to disturb so imma let him be content <3

he does have excellent communication skills and is generally happy though, he just has some repressed emotions and a weird complex or two that isn't that healthy

i like to think peso and the professor had a heart to heart with him about the manatee incident, and now whenever kwazii is "too reckless" he just says "well I'm sorry me lord and savior of the manatees" and the conversation is OVER

never let any of the octoagents know about that nickname he will die and melt on the spot because everyone, that was SUCH a long time ago- Besides it wasn't as bad as you make it sou-

*gets slappity flippered*

BAI LOL

[weatherwhim]

it might be true in the future that she's ruined her legacy (hopefully lol) but it isn't quite true yet. right now most of the general public, at least from what I've seen, either doesn't know about her anti-trans rhetoric, doesn't care, or sees it as inconsequential enough to write off (due to some combination of not fully knowing and not fully caring).

Harry Potter is at the level of famous and mainstream where it has its own section in Disneyland. there's an actual Platform 9 3/4 sign at King's Cross station. outside of trans and trans activism circles, most people's opinions on the series, and by extension Rowling, are shaped by the media presence the Harry Potter franchise itself has. and it markets very well.

people often talk about how shallow and poorly written the whole series is in online spaces, but one of its fundamental strengths is that, if you don't think about it too hard, the wizarding world comes off as very cool and charming. I loved the series when I read it as a middle schooler, and only noticed the plot holes and shitty stereotypes later. you might think "oh, she's a literal Nazi sympathiser on Twitter" but that's apparently a thing you can just *be* now without a lot of people questioning it. the whole "Harry Potter is over" movement is gated behind a level of media literacy and political awareness most folks just don't have.

it's practically a meme among people learning languages that you'll always get the advice to read Harry Potter in your target language. it's like it got embedded in the pedagogy of the field at some point. Harry Potter has professionally done translations into a shit-ton of languages, including a lot of minority ones that don't get a lot of resources. and no fault to the translators and publishers, the fact that Philosopher's Stone, as a story, is so accessible to kids everywhere is honestly commendable. but like, it's also spreading the gospel of Rowling.

Rowling has been able to do so much damage because she's enshrined in culture. that doesn't go away just because she's transphobic, until transphobia is seen as unacceptable for a significant portion of the public, which it isn't. people mentally group Rowling's transphobia along with that tweet about wizards shitting on the floor. it's a silly thing she's done to try and stay relevant that ultimately doesn't affect the main series. besides, how can she hate the LGBT+ community? she made Dumbledore gay.

Rowling is, if anything, a case study in just how acceptable of a target trans people still are. saying she's thrown away her legacy is just wrong. she's doing fine for herself. it'll still be fun reading the news when she dies, but there will probably be at least as many accolades as their are condemnations.

honestly, jk rowling just fills me with existential dread. partially because I watched her get radicalized in real time, but also just.... imagine completely ruining your legacy when you're already well over halfway done with your life. part of her has to know that there's no going back, even if she changed.

[avayarising]

Bruce’s first death: the Death Cheaters

(Part of the Batfam Death Project)

Batman 1:72, 1952

Bruce’s first death happens all the way back in 1952, when Dick is probably somewhere around twelve to thirteen. Some other people who have died (flatlined) and come back to life have started a club, but now the members of this club have started being killed off! Bruce’s solution? Poison himself and then get resuscitated so he can join the club and investigate the murders from the inside!

Because of course that’s a proportionate response.

Poor Dick is the one who has to perform CPR on Bruce. (If he hadn’t been a trained vigilante and acrobat he probably would not have had the upper body strength for it. That doctor certainly doesn’t look as if he does.)

And Dick is absolutely terrified. Look at his little face! He could lose another parent here. He blames himself for ‘letting’ Bruce do this in the first place, as if he could have stopped him. And it’s clear he carries on the CPR long after the doctor had given up.

And he’s so relieved and exhausted when Bruce starts breathing again he nearly faints.

How could you do this to him, Bruce? To Dick, who is already traumatised by the loss of his first parents?

Bruce, by contrast, is fully confident this will work. He never has a moment’s doubt. I really don’t think he realises how much stress he’s putting Dick under. (Nor I think does Dick tell him how afraid he is, but then he really shouldn’t have to!)

Much much later, in Batman 2:39 (2015) Bruce is thinking about his own mortality and his lack of belief in it.

He has deliberately trained himself not to believe in his own mortality, and he did that first, before any of his other training. Which explains how he can poison himself to death so blithely and confidently assume that he will come back. And he has completely forgotten that even if he doesn’t believe in his own death, Dick has no such mental construction.

Yikes.

Now to be fair this is the New 52 when everyone’s backstories have changed. In actual comic time when Dick was Robin I’ve so far only been able to find one other actual death by the terms defined for this project (Batman: The Brave and the Bold 1:115, 1974), though there have been several more fake deaths and near deaths.

But that still means there is some world where Dick, whose parents died suddenly and violently in front of him, had to live with his new parent dying in front of him often enough that he could joke that it happened every weekend.

This is obviously a coping mechanism on Dick’s part – you can tell because he doesn’t mention anyone he might actually like to hear from, like his parents. It looks like Bruce still has no idea how hard it is on Dick.

But I do find it very interesting that a storyline written in 2015, in the New 52, makes characterisation sense of a story written in 1952.

The Batfam Death Project Masterpost