#and nothing will come out of it
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okay but the worst kind of grief i experience is also a kind of grief i rarely share with anyone else because everytime i do i just get weird stares, but anyway; i absolutely have to put time aside to grieve the death of a potential, it gets to me more than an anything else, like, i eternally live in a world of potentials, i rarely think about things as they are, it's always about what they "could be/become". The worst kind of heartbreak is when they dont become anything. It kinda forces me to confront stuff as they are, and then i have to deal with the fact that i have so much fucking resentment towards things as they are now, and that experience is not something i have an easy time facing.
#but also for real#i always have a hard time seeing a potential and then being told that the thing/person does not want and will not go there like#chasing potentials is not a question to me; i dont think about it. I see a possibility and i get to work#like the ''what could be'' vs ''what is'' is such huge deal to me#the amount of anger i deal with once i have to force myself to actually see that this particular thing is a deadend#and nothing will come out of it#and then there's the intense grief of having to accept a dead potential#putting it to rest#it's obviously the hardest with people#after awhile with some people you have to kill the potential yourself#because otherwise the hope will keep you coming back for prople that you should not come back for#but yeah; nothing hits me like the grief for lost potential
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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I genuinely hope American media sucks for a while! I hope the big companies keep trying to churn out shit and that it’s all embarrassing garbage! I want it to be extremely apparent to everyone how important the writers and actors are to create good media and that they deserve to be compensated appropriately!!!
#strikes are supposed to be disruptive#if business carries on as usual then nothing will be accomplished#i want to see a bunch of absolutely dogshit movies and tv shows coming out of all the media titans#sag strike#wga strike
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The day FNAF Charlie Emily was shut out..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#william afton#charlie emily#charlotte emily#fnaf 2#fnaf pizzaria simulator#William Afton you deserve nothing good in this world#this is why you got sent to super hell#Charlie’s whole story makes me so sad#not only was she ignored by her own father#locked out of thr pizzeria during a rainstorm#but her fathers friend .. someone she probably trusted#instead of helping her out of the rain#bringing her home or helping her back inside#betrays her inherent trust in him#and leaves her out to rot#only being given a chance through the security puppet coming to her#I’m surprised she isn’t more pissed while being the puppet#she deserved so much more#finally did a full design for her too in the games..#I actually really like how this comic turned out#even if it makes me sad
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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Sick Days 3
[ 1 - 2 - 3 ]
The unfortunate thing about getting sick in a big family is that when one person falls, the rest follow like dominoes.
My poor brother… he was always the one to get sick right after me. He’d always insist blame on whoever was sick first and grumble about it when we checked on him lol
Also you bet that if Donnie lost his voice his brothers would absolutely be teasing him about it. Someone would be all like “I feel a close kinship with frogs, we’re both amphibians” and he’d be seething in the corner typing furiously about the differences between reptiles and amphibians but no one would open their phone.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise donnie#rise mikey#rise leo#rise raph#rottmnt comic#t*cest dni#people would always forget I can’t talk with a sore throat#id open my mouth and nothing but the sound of a rusty hinge would come out
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i swear to cod at this rate Pearl is 1 freestyle attempt between songs away from from rapping about Marina (again), spitting out the first rhyme her mind jumps to when she thinks of the word "life" in the context of spending hers WITH Marina, and she's gonna propose to Marina on stage on live squid TV without even noticing it
#splatoon 3#pearlina#pearl houzuki#marina ida#.#...#if you let pearl loose without a script#this is the stuff that come out#nothing but mushy hearts and love for marina
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Jodybeth sketch to hold me over
#art#the locked tomb#tlt#coronabeth tridentarius#judith deuteros#jodybeth#honestly really struggling artwise atm#nothing is coming out good at all so just sketching anything to try and break out of it#i have band au ideas for them i am aching to do
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Doodles of the siblings bc i. love fambily
#dont mind lynette shes spacing out#gonna obsess over a set of siblings we know almost nothing about until fontaine comes bc i am unwell#freminet#lyney#lynette#genshin impact#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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look gang i know the cishets are going to be annoying about chappell roan like they are with every popular queer artist but we CAN'T gatekeep, because think about how much it would've meant to your little queer self to hear songs about girls kissing girls being played on the radio every single day
#ramble#maybe the most popular artist in the world right now being a lesbian drag queen is a good thing actually#i'm not even that old and when i was first coming out there was still NOTHING#i'm 22 and i think i came out in 2015? and even then you did NOT talk about it at my school bc you were made to feel disgusting#i think the first time i ever saw something openly gay being mainstream was love simon and at the time that was CRAZY#we're supposed to NOT want current queer kids to be like us
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Put that thing back or so help me.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#wen qing#a-yuan#I had a few different ideas for what do for 'JC visits WWX in the burial mounds' but I must say...#JC's genuine baffled outburst at why the hell WWX has a child running around really took me out.#WWX for his credit isn't much of a fatherly figure. More of a 'cool uncle that occasionally plays but has work to do.'#I know it is a common fan headcanon to put WWX as a surrogate parent to A-yuan. It's cute though I don't really see it!#All the Wen remnants and WWX have something a lot more complex than a straightforward found family thing going on.#It certainly isn't a little western nuclear family unit. They are bound by trauma and guilt and they will *not* talk about it.#A-Yuan is the representation of all the children lost to the war. He is also a little seedling that there is hope for the future.#And he is an opportunity for WWX to reconnect with his own displaced childhood.#Right now his rather dismissive of him but we'll get there. Wei Wuxian will have his unhealthy coping mechanism moment with this child.#I sure hope nothing bad happens to them! I hope Jiang Cheng just comes by for a nice visit!
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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something something giant isopod sharing is caring pass the detritus
inprnt
#giant isopod#marine biology#artists on tumblr#inprnt#I tried coming up with a pun but nothing popped up#cackLES#there's also another print up on inprnt that I'm waiting to post when I have other stuff settled 👀#technically inprnt is getting to see stuff a little earlier haha#also been noticing how my process has changed haha it's interesting#like I'll spend waaaaaay more time now nitpicking/adjusting colors which is fine#but like before when I was still in old process mindset I'd get frustrated and think the colors weren't coming out right#when what I needed was to spend more time figuring it out
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reading up on argenti’s lore
#I lost the 50/50 the first time but THIS TIME FOR SURE HE WILL COME HOME#big fan of the hc that he originally had white hair#I hope we get an event or quest or something that tells us more abt him…#why does he have such a harrowing backstory and why does no one talk about it#actually in fact there are so many other characters who’s got a crazy ass backstory yet I see no one mentioning it ????#hanya and xueyi r big ones for me their story is so sad 😔#argenti is one of those characters that you feel like you know everything yet nothing about them at the same time#honkai star rail#argenti#hsr argenti#my art#art#digital art#fanart#illustration#procreate#sketch#haliai art#sketchier than normal cause I was trying out a new brush pack
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new guyyy whom i love from a design trade
he's a demigod cimera knight who was brutally defeated and then spared by a tyrant queen, with the caveat that she cut off his goat head and uses it as a hostage to keep him loyal to her. unfortunate but what are you gonna do
#my art#oc#scarab knight#chimera#anthro#furry#lion#dragon#goat#the heads all have names but collectively they're the scarab knight. or the beetle knight idk which yet#lotsa tags for this one. i loooove him it really is so cool to have a guy designed by someone else#this is nothing i could come up with by myself#but funnily enough his design slotted in perfectly with another design i was already working with (the tyrant queen)#who is basically me wanting a character that carries a head on a stick around with them#designer is monarchisfine on toyhouse btw. check em out they make great stuff very nice
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