#and nothing matters it's all in my head

[ridaine]

Got some outfits designed for her!

Winter and summer versions!

[ryssbelle]

Thought of this while at work, sorry it's a bit hard to read I sketched it out really fast before my last shift lmao wanted to get it done so I could work on other stuff hehe

If it's any consultation Floyd is mostly talking about himself

[stuckinapril]

Went from being totally lost as a teenager to finding solace in aesthetics and fitting urself into a template in my late teens and now I think I struck a healthy intermediate where I know who I am as a person generally but I’m also completely subscribed to the idea of evolving and would never deny trying something just bc it doesn’t fit the image of myself I crafted in my head

[stackedbirds]

they're all losers <33

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

[kenshimybeloved]

Was gonna wait to post Part 5 tomorrow but this one’s short and I’m impatient and I really wanna get to the good shit ‼️‼️‼️

Though Kenshi and Johnny aren’t a main focus of this scene, I still think it’s important enough to their relationship to talk about. The banquet scene opens with Kenshi silently judging Kung Lao (along with General Shao and Reiko) for how much he’s eating/how quickly he’s eating, obviously not enjoying his time at what should be a fun social event. On the complete other side of the room, Johnny sits with Kitana, Liu Kang, and Raiden. This is when we actually see Johnny flirt directly with Kitana- again, right in front of Raiden who we’ve established also has an obvious crush on her. Raidens response is to turn to Liu Kang and ask him what he sees in him, clearly upset that not only is Johnny flirting with Kitana, but also that it actually seems to be working on her. It’s at this point that Johnny and Kenshis relationship is at its lowest- Kenshis chosen to stay where he feels most comfortable, quietly in the background. Johnnys decided he’s not going to keep putting his energy into changing somebody who isn’t ready. Though it may be hard to see, I included the last picture to show just how far apart the two are physically [if you can’t tell, Kenshi is in the very back left, and Johnny is one row away from the front in the very right].

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

[shinobicyrus]

It doesn't matter to JD Vance - or Trump's supporters - that the 'immigrants eating pets' stories are false. He's admitted as much, and says he will keep repeating them. Because "memes."

It also doesn't matter when it's pointed out to him that the Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio are in the country legally. He's going to keep calling them "illegal" because their legal status is not the thing about them that he finds objectionable.

It doesn't matter if they're legal immigrants or illegal immigrants. It doesn't matter that immigrants - regardless of legal status - are statistically much less likely to commit crimes than those born in the United States.

None of those things matter, because it's never been about those things.

Trump & JD Vance and all of their supporters hate immigrants. Full stop. The reasons and justifications will always shift and change to fit the present circumstances and political environment; reactionary politics at its finest. Meanwhile, the cold and vile core remains unchanged:

"These non-white people are lesser than us. In fact, they aren't people and we don't want them here."

[carefulfears]

the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[alluralater]

hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[vaguely-concerned]

sons of mogh ends with a severe sudden onset julian bashir character assassination but in such a bald-faced WILD out of the blue 'now we don't have the time to unpack all of that -- '/well that escalated quickly way that I can't help but cackle and go 'sure I'll take it let's go with that I guess he just did that why not'. mischaracterization so blatant and absurd that it loops right back around from insulting to genuinely hilarious fsdkah

[grocerystoreanxiety]

I honestly I think I’m in my adult-age HW rn (can’t say abt like the years before when I wasn’t checking my weight but I was like a teen back then), but fuck, it’s 56.4kg today (bmi 21.5) and idk if my metabolism suddenly just stopped bc it feels like it did. I eat abt 1000-1200kcal and the weight moves nowhere (sometimes under 1000kcal, but I try to keep it above to avoid bingeing & muscle loss). It’s sure not that low of a limit, but honestly like that’s no one’s maintenance calories no matter how short & how little they’d move (and I’m 5”4 and try to at least get the 10k steps a day if nothing else). Yeah gotta be patient, been back at this just like 2 weeks after my stupid dumb month of ”i dont care” and sometimes it takes more time.

But it’s weird bc I was recovered for like a year before relapsing this spring, and even then I didn’t gain to this level, and it was a way longer time of eating than just a month and I was steadily 52-54kg the whole time. (I still dont know tho if I can count it as recovery time when I never rly stopped working out or counting my cals; I was just eating my maintenance calories pretty much, some days a little more, and I think I maybe just got into the orthorexia side for a year)

Also I know metabolism gets worse as you age and ppl say it’s around ur mid-20s but does that rly kick in suddenly in one fucking month???? I doubt it (Could be the stress, like I’m waking up to anxiety attacks etc, so it’s not low levels of that rn, and ik stress does a number on you)

Anyways, this is all to say that I’m fucking getting back to it istg like I feel so bad rn in my body. My fucking shorts I’ve worn just this summer aren’t fitting right like dude that’s insane, how did that happen over the course of like a month. No more of this ’’well im too tired to work out today’’ or ’’a liiittle bit of sugar wont kill me’’ garbage; back to all or nothing babeyyy (bad mindset but works the best for me)