#and not really something a lot of people do irl with your friends parents!
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three-headed-monster · 8 days ago
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i am not a clinical psychologist, nor have i ever been clinically diagnosed (i barely did well in psych 100 guys), but part of why i do feel like it is autism with connor is that he masks so aggressively sometimes? like i did in fact watch 90% of that one livestream he did with his friends talking about football for 2 hrs straight at midnight, and he seemed so 'regular' teenager? but then like 2 weeks later he did media day and they completely stiffled his energy, he went back to fully just like hockey robot
but i mean i could also see the adhd thing! he does tend to get really spacey sometimes and like distracted on certain things (that one tsn wjc 2023 interview where the slovaks were making faces behind the camera at him and he veers so left that he barely does the interview). i haven't exactly queite figured out the nuances of my observations on him, so any insight is much accepted!
last thing though is that i will have to respectfully disagree with the macklin father thing. while i am not entirely against the idea of him having some sort of daddy issues (this is the site for that after all), i think people really overblow parts of it. part of the reason that his dad IS so involved now, in comparison to other fathers, is because macklin got a really serious shoulder injury a few years ago. i'm fairly sure it was two summers before his draft year, and it took him out of the running for the u18 team with bedard and fantilli that year. think it was 2023? anyways, people were really worried about how that would effect him long term, but his dad basically took over his training and stuff to help him rehab with that, because he has experience, and like healed mack a month ahead of schedule. and he's been fine since, so i guess they stuck with that because of how effective it was to help him recover from injury. now do i think him running their whole family's training might be a little overbearing? maybe. but i mean jim hughes does that too, and i honestly don't see anyone talk about him 🤷🏻‍♀️
saw the tags on your rb, and as a fellow "connor bedard has autism" headcanoner, i would love to know more of your thoughts 😈
it's less of a headcanon and more of a divinely correct vibe check. but like am i wrong...???? although I do see it more as they're the same flavour of ND with different presentations, like Connor is hyperfocus ADHD, and Macklin is inattentive (this comes from someone with mixed presentation ADHD¹, they also tried to diagnose me with austim but my legs were too long i make eye contact BUT!!! 93rd% "indicating that Cassie has many behavioural characteristics similar to youth diagnosed with ASD." raaaaa 💪💪💪 93% is an A!! i ace even the tests i fail!!!) Plus his rigidity with his diet, is bonkers for someone that young (and it's been going on since he was like 14-15)
Like especially with the way that Connor's constant practicing, after practice until the zamboni kicks him off, and then on off days and optional skates hiding his gear to make him take days off?? that is pretty classic hyperfocus ADHD. And especially with the way he blames the teams loses on himself, like please sir seeing you in the mirror is not good for my health!!
And with Macklin, people often mischaracterize inattentive ADHD with not being motivated or good at routine and while yes those two things are a normal part of human life, and more-so with ADHD, he has shown many times how deeply he cares about hockey........ but I think (and also remember i am projecting) his father being THAT hands on with him and his brothers training (even now which yuck, you have your own job get your grubby paws off of your kid's job) has made him unable to self propel, and get himself into that routine? (AND AGAIN I AM PROJECTING) like something Macklin has said a few times is how the shift to a pro-hockey schedule has been hard, and yes it is an adjustment, but he has been essentially living away from his parents for YEARS, two years boarding at Shattuckk, one year (presumably) billeting in Chicago while playing in the USHL, and one year in college at BU, and I think the real shift is that... daddy is planning his workouts again, full time not just summers (also, the travaling doesn't help) AND THAT (i am projecting) is HELL to someone who built a routine, and any hope of getting back into one was dashed when he went of IR for his hip after one game. the boy needs CONSISTENCY!!!!! And until they get him 1) away from his freak father who has his hands al over his development plan, and 2) on simple routine with max five types of days (home game, home practice, home rest, away game, away rest) he will not get situated.
BACK TO BEDARD <33333
the man loves rules and procedures. him at his first training camp all doe eyed and "wanting to make the team!" so much that Kyle Davidson... maybe it was Luke Richardson who said it...??? either way his coach or his GM pulled aside his MOTHER to tell them that they needed to start looking at apartments. Before getting drafted it was never "when" it was "if i get drafted".... like dude.... it's gonna happen! Whenever he get's sen't to the box its always a "they hate me, don't they know I am unable to break rules!! not because they don't apply to me but because I can NOT break rules!" vibe (I am only kinda projecting on this one)
and I do think the type of media around them during their developmental years up has affected them, Macklin's media was always focused on his father, which reinforced his reliance/dependence on him, whereas Connor's was focused on him which encouraged him to focus on himself and what HE can do to improve.
also Connor has that DOG IN HIM
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^ connor bedard real not fake (also my childhood psychologist had this PROMENENTLY displayed in her office and i think seeing it every two weeks had an adverse affect on me)
¹ and a bunch of other learning disorders, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, audio processing disorder, also anxiety, depression, and cutie patootie disease (fatal 😔)
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the-brainrot-central · 2 months ago
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
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What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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snekdood · 18 days ago
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idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am
#like... im kinda aggressive and might attack if provoked... i intentionally exude a threatening presence and personality to#scare ppl away but also bc i will actually try to fuck you up if you fuck with me too much. i also struggle with not knowing#how to handle my cat yelling besides yelling at him which reinforces him but it doesnt matter bc he does it anyways even#if i stubbornly ignore him so idfk what to do i think he just think thats the normal way to talk atp and it driveS ME INSANE BECAUSE#HE IS MOEWS ARE SO LOUD AND SOUND LIKE A FUCKING BABY CRYING WHICH TRIGGERS A PRIMAL PARENTAL THING IN#ME AND HES MANIPULATING THAT TO GET MY ATTENTION FOR SHIT HE DOESNT NEED HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#LIke. im problematic in some ways. no im not as problematic as you might think but like. i still recognize i got a lot of shit to work on#over here yaknow. its shit i think about all the time and keep trying to figure out what i can do about.#which is also why i dont need ppl riding on my ass about shit that i already know better about#i honestly think yall think me being inflammatory online makes me a bad person... idk. and i dont really think im all that controversial#or inflammatory in what i say but anyone being that in any capacity in your opinion makes them Bad for some reason?? idrk.#im trying to figure it out. like you either just have to believe any lie someone tells about me or you just hate how annoying i am to you#on the internet. something you can easily avoid by blocking me.#also the things i say online... dont necessarily directly translate to offline? im not really like this irl... im definitely a lot more#aggressive online than i am off...#offline i try to keep things calm and gentle and i try to be considerate and nice to those around me. ig i dont feel like tumblr#has earned that side of me yet 🤷#i literally have an idyllic ass garden and essentially green house ok. i dont talk about the happenings of my daily life on here#much bc i worry talking about it on here will taint it somehow.#maybe im too superstitious. maybe im worried about being stalked. maybe its a combo of many things but theres certain info#i dont trust with certain types of people and if tumblr was a person i would not trust that person with that info.#the friend to get drunk with not to watch your cats and house while you're out of town. etc.#ill vent about my trauma but i dont want you... in my life... Like That lmao. we just go to the same bar...
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luvergirl-866 · 24 days ago
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something like love
part - 1
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 4.1k
c/w - language
a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)
“Will you go out with me?”
When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.
“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.
Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”
“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”
“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”
“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”
Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”
“I’m for real.”
Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”
“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”
“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”
“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”
Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”
“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”
“Paige,” Azzi sighs.
“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.
Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.
So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.
Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.
“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”
Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.
“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”
“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”
“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”
“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”
“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.
Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”
Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”
“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”
“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”
“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.
“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”
“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.
“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”
“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”
“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”
“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”
“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“
“I get it.”
Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”
“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”
Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.
“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”
This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.
“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.
“P, I don’t—“
“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”
Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.
“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.
“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”
“Yep.”
“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”
Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”
“And why should I help you?”
Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”
Azzi raises an eyebrow.
“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”
Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.
It sounds like hell.
Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.
Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”
She is so fucking gone for this girl.
————————————-
They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.
It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.
Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”
Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”
Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”
“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.
Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”
Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”
“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”
Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”
“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”
“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”
Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.
“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”
Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.
“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”
Every bone in Azzi’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”
Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”
“So…”
“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”
Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.
Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”
Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.
“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”
“…Okay?”
“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”
Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”
Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”
If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.
“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.
“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”
Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”
Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”
“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”
“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”
Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”
Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”
“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”
“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”
Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.
Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?
“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”
Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.
“I think that’s perfect.”
————————————
One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.
“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.
“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”
They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.
“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”
Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.
Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.
“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.
Almost.
Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”
There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.
Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?
Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”
This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.
“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”
It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.
If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.
“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.
“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.
“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?
“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.
Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”
Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?
Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”
KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”
“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”
“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”
“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.
“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.
“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”
“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”
“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.
During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.
Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”
“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”
At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”
“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”
“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”
Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”
Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?
“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”
Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.
“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.
“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”
Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”
For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.
This might be more complicated than she thought.
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bouquetface · 14 days ago
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Vedic Astro Observations
Accuracy influenced by ENTIRE chart. Having similar placements does promise the same outcome.
4th H ruler conjunct Rahu can be an indicator for coming from a big family. Rahu amplifies whatever it touches - planet or sign. A women ik with 4th H ruler Venus conjunct Rahu has 9 siblings.
Moon in 6th H
You will have a lot of enemies in this life. You can genuinely desire true friendship and to be kind to others but a lot of people will still hate you. Some will dislike you based on nothing, others will be your friends and coworkers turned into enemies. This placement catches blame for other people’s problems.
EX: Coworker is talking badly about you. Later the people they talked with now talk shit about them. They assume you have something to do with it but in reality it is simply their karma.
Basically with this placement, people will have a guilty conscious for what they did to you and blame you for it. And/or they will have a lot of self hate but blame you for it. This is the negative manifestation of moon in 6th - the act of service you offer is caring other people’s emotional burdens - whether you like it or not.
Sun conjunct Moon in 11th - This is fortunate for fulfilling your desires in this lifetime. However, this indicates with one child (usually the eldest), they will be very different from you. When they become adults, they may have different political views, religious views, or different life than you. At worst, this shows the children are distant from you - this is rare & would require other indicators. What I have seen irl is the person w this placement has a child who marries someone outside their race & the child picked a taboo career upsetting the parent.
Rahu and Ketu in the chart
To analyze rahu and ketu in the chart, it is SO important to check where their depositor sits. Rahu & Ketu are not planets, they will follow the energy of the sign they are placed in and its ruler.
ex: Rahu in Aries 2nd - Mars exalted in Cap - This is an indicator for a lot of wealth. Rahu will follow Mars leads, and Mars is exalted making sure this person works and sees reward. These specific placements will really put you to work for it tho.
ex: Rahu in Taurus 9th - Venus conjunct Mars in Libra - This is an indicator for having hardship in regard to college. EX: You may decide against it, You may have to drop out, You may have to take a break. Rahu desires education & travel in 9th, but it will follow Mars leads. Mars in Libra 2nd H is not debilitated but can struggle with financial/spending/saving habits, family issues, motivation & discipline. Depending on the entire chart, this can be a life long problem or something that occurs for a short period of time.
8th H ruler in 2nd H
You can keep your family's secrets. You can have secrets involving family. You may make money through investigating/research/analysis. Or your work involves life and death scenarios -ex: life insurance company, nurse, paramedic, etc. You may work with confidential information or you keep your work secret- it may be a taboo career.
Your poesessions and wealth go through periods of instability. You can work and save then have emergency purchases or simply be reckless w money.
You and the spouse will likely join the assets. If there is a benefic, you could gain through marriage. Either way, it could be the spouse who causes the emergency purchase or reckless purchase. This doesn't always manifest as the spouse becoming reckless, in certain cases it can be the spouse has a genuine emergency at some point in their life - ex: they need a treatment/medicine, appointments, etc. Or their company shuts down thus they are unemployed for a bit.
Let's say Mars is the ruler of 8th into 2nd H, this shows conflict based on wealth. You can fight with your own family like siblings over inheritance. This brings in a dominating spouse too. Someone who will fight on your behalf. If harshly placed, this energy gets out of control, they cause you problems in your life and fight with you too.
2nd H ruler in 2nd H
This is generally considered good. The planet is able to protect it's own house. This can show regardless of financial issues or emergencies that come up you will be secure. You can rely on your family. If there is no malefic conjunction or aspect, this shows good family ties.
However, let’s say Venus is the ruler of 2nd in 2nd H conjunct Mars. This shows conflict with the family. Despite the conflict they will likely not let you be homeless. They still provide basic security - unless there are added malefic aspects.
Jupiter in Ashlesha
This is a great example of why it’s important to read the entire chart. Jupiter here is in Cancer (it’s exaltation) so you may expect the best results in this house. However, Ashlesha is an enemy nakshatra for Jupiter. The use of the word enemy might make this sound more dramatic than it is. In reality, Jupiter is still exalted so there will be some positive results but this specific nakshatra has certain problems to encounter.
For example: Jupiter as 7th H Ruler in Ashlesha: The spouse may express traits like:
Intelligent - 2 steps ahead type of person. Manipulative - good at hiding true intent, good at saying what needs to be said to get what they want in the end - great at business for this reason. Possessive & attached/clingy. Deeply secretly insecure. Cultural differences w the spouse. They may be the eldest. They may have a complicated relationship w their mother. Protective. Intelligent but emotional - love to argue, can't help but use their heart over their mind. Love and workplace affairs - entire chart would need to be checked.
Accuracy depends on the ENTIRE chart. Ashlesha is divided into padas which will influence how the planet behaves. Along with the planet, aspects, dasha periods, and which houses the planet rules. Moon & Mercury placements in natal will influence this nakshatra as well.
Saturn in 4th H
Mother shows Saturn traits (disciplined, structured/routined, working, etc). Possibly a distant and cold relationship with the mother.
If Saturn is positively aspected and in a friendly sign - you naturally develop saturn traits and find career success as a result. If Saturn is poorly placed, saturn qualities will not come as easily.
These are very generic. Accuracy for you will depend on your entire chart.
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your-unfriendlyghost · 2 months ago
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Starting a reblog game: RB w/ your own outsiders OC!
if enough folks do, I’ll draw them together or something lol, it’ll be fun!
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So these are blatant self inserts for my sister and me
(Info & backstories under the cut because I’ve put waaaay too much thought into this)
and again, pls do reblog/tag me w/ your own Outsiders original/self insert characters! (Drawings and/or written descriptions!) Making OCs was one of my favorite things to do as a kid, so I figured it’d be fun to bring it back here lol
(And to reiterate- if enough of ya’ll do this I’ll draw ‘em all together like a greaser-sona gang! So don’t be shy ok??)
-got sent to Tulsa from Seattle in 1961 at ages 13 and 11 to live with their mildly neglectful uncle, due to their mother getting cancer and being unable to properly care for them. Their father was lost at sea when they were little, so they had no one else to go to.
-in Tulsa they go by their mother’s surname, Biondi, instead of their father’s, because interracial marriage isn’t legalized in Oklahoma until ‘67. They try to pass as just Italian. This works better for Naomi, who takes more after their mother than their father in looks.
-Naomi is good friends w/ Ponyboy- she relates to him a lot, from the dislike of fighting to the love for sunsets (legit Ponyboy reminds me of my sister so much irl) (She’s also low-key got a crush on him and Sodapop which is pretty funny)
-Jesse is closer to Two-Bit, Dally, Steve, and Soda. And he really likes fights. They’re exciting and make him feel tough. When he stops to think about it it does make him a little uneasy how much he’s grown to like them, but usually he just ignores that
-Naomi disapproves of crime. Jesse used to oppose it too, but the more time he spends without good role models and parental figures, the more his morels loosen. Tries hard to be a good example for Naomi though
-Jesse met the gang through Sodapop originally- they were thirteen and some Socs were jumping Soda, and Jesse jumped in and helped him out. Soda explained to him what the deal with Socs and greasers is, because there’s no greasers up North
-Naomi met the gang separately through being classmates with Ponyboy. They were working together on a school project, one with him writing and her drawing
-So Jess and Naomi spent a solid few months hanging out with different members of the same gang, completely unaware they had the same group. They eventually end up running into each other at the Curtis house, and both are totally shocked. Two-Bit, who knew the whole time, nearly died laughing
-Naomi is friends with both Socs and greasers, because she isn’t really either- she’s financially a greaser, but she has a crazy high GPA for someone who has ADHD and dyslexia in the 60s, and besides that, she just doesn’t like what she sees as pointless rivalry
-Jess loves pointless rivalry. At least until people start getting hurt. Then he starts to get angry.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months ago
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im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall
(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)
im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.
being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers
i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)
im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me
i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings
hi anon,
there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list
1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.
2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.
would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!
anyway moving on
3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?
4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.
5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.
6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.
you're so normal, calm down, I love you
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therhythmafterthesummer · 2 years ago
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Camping with Wolves (M) ~Lee Know
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Pairing: Werewolf!Minho x Human!F.Reader Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Fluff | bit of Angst | Best Friends to Lovers Warnings: pet names (kitten/baby/babe/etc), pining?, unashamedly pushing the soft!Minho agenda, mentions of divorce, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of blood and violence, graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut). Word Count: ~11k | AO3 Summary: Minho was your rock, he was your anchor, your best friend, which was why you just couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him, even when he was, essentially, a supernatural being. One ‘camping trip’ might be the last push you needed to finally confess. Or maybe not…  [This story takes place within the It’s Cold Out universe, meaning it’s part of my WereRoomies series].
Author’s Note: the werewolf brain rot is real y’all… i just wanted more soft werewolf content, so here this piece is. anyway, if you’re reading this, hope you enjoy, and if you do, don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts~
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.
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Minho’s WereRoomies Instalments: Camping With Wolves · Dog Unleashed · Are You There, Wolf?
Smut Warnings: this is all really soft, you have been warned. lots of praising, fingering [F.Rec], nipple play [F.Rec], unprotected penetration [piv] (this is a piece of fiction in which you can trust people when they tell you they’re clean. wrap it irl please i beg you), cum on body/cumshot.
Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
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You could still remember quite vividly the day you met your best friend. It was a turning point in your life, so how could you not remember it. Moving to a new place after your parents divorce was probably the last thing you wanted to do. Your life had been turned upside down the moment your dads sat you down at the tender age of ten and told you ‘sweetie, there’s something your father and I need to tell you…’, and suddenly you were packing your bags and moving to the other side of the country.
New town, new places to see, new school, one less dad to greet in the mornings, and zero friends.
Your first day of school had been a blur of introductions, comments of ‘wow you’ve got two dads?’ and ‘you’re from where?’, and honestly by the time the day was over you were just ready to leave the building and hole up in your room for the rest of the week.
It’d been just as you were making your way home from school that you saw him. A boy, around your age, with long, black hair, crouched by the side of the road with a box in his hands, trying to put something in it. You’d never been too sure why you went close that day, you weren’t exactly a social butterfly, but something compelled you to walk close to the boy, and the closer you got, you could finally make out what was it that he was trying to put in the box, and you couldn’t help but gasp at the sight.
“What happened?!” Was all that came out of your mouth back then.
“Dunno… Just saw them here like this”, he side-eyed you a bit, but went back to try and put the clearly injured kittens in the box. “If you’re gonna stand there, at least help me out. Can’t leave them here”.
So you sprung into action, helping him put the little babies in the box, and even going as far as to going with him to the closest vet you could find–all led by the boy of course, after all, you’d just moved in and had absolutely no idea where you were standing.
“Ah, Minho–” The person at the entrance greeted him as soon as you two had come through the door, their face changing from that welcoming smile to slight surprise as they saw the box in his hands. “Dear heavens, what happened?”
“Dunno. Found them like this. They look hurt. Can you do anything?” The boy, Minho, you presumed, by the way the person at the counter called him. They hurriedly came from around the counter and took a quick look at the kittens, then at you both, offering a smile–a bit of a forced one, but you figured they were trying to not alarm you both too much, considering your faces were surely full of worry.
“I’ll have Mrs. Jung have a look at them as soon as possible, hm? Should I register the appointment under your mother’s name?”
Minho nodded, and just like that the person took the box from his hands, disappearing behind a door on the side of the room. With a sigh, he took his backpack off and moved to sit on one of the chairs by the waiting area, and again, for some inexplicable reason, you did the same, sitting next to him for a bit in complete silence.
You truly were never one of spending time with strangers like this, but when you got a chance later in life to analyse your behaviours at the time, you came to the realisation that you simply didn’t want to go back home that day, that you were trying to escape the fact that you had to go back to a new house without one of your fathers and be completely on your own until your other father came back. Which was why, that day, you couldn’t stop yourself from turning around to the boy, and attempting to start a friendly conversation with him.
“You do this often?”
He turned to look at you, with his eyes a bit wide in surprise, almost as if he couldn’t believe you were talking to him. “Do what?”
“Bring injured animals? They know your mum’s name, don’t they?”
“Ah, mm”, Minho nodded, turning to look back to the floor. “Mum’s a vet tech. And since I’m a magnet to finding hurt animals, I’m a regular here”.
“Mmm…”
You both were silent for a while, just hearing the odd beep of a machine in the distance, until Minho squirmed a bit in his seat, turning his whole body to look at you. “I’m Minho, by the way. Never seen you around before… It’s a small town”.
You introduced yourself, and explained that you had just moved in. It went on like this for a while, just you two talking as you waited for the vet to come out with news. You’d learnt that day that Minho was indeed your age, he had two cats and two dogs at home, he knew one too many facts about dinosaurs, and that he never missed one episode of Kamen Rider. It was interesting how, in contrast to his resting face, when he talked to you he didn’t look annoyed at all, and by the time the vet came out and informed you two that the kittens were fine, but a little dehydrated and that they would need to stay the night, you had learnt more about this boy next to you than any other classmate you ever had.
“I’ll be here tomorrow after school to check on the cats”, Minho said as soon as you stepped out of the clinic. “You know, in case you… Wanna see them again…”
You couldn’t help but give him a smile, hiking your bag further up your shoulder. “I’d like that. Maybe I’ll… Keep one. Always wanted a cat”.
“They’re great company. You won’t regret it!” And the smile that made its way onto his face as he said it could’ve easily outshine the sun. You had no other option but to believe him. “Can I… Uh… Walk you home, maybe? It’s kinda late…”
So you accepted his offer, and back then, you couldn’t have even imagined how that simple encounter would kick-start your lifelong friendship with Minho. 
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Interesting thing, how someone could become such an integral part of your day to day life that the second something wasn’t quite right, it was very hard to miss. 
Since you met him, Minho and you had been inseparable. You ended up adopting one of the kittens he’d saved–Sir Percival of Camelot, you’d called him, because you liked the eccentricity of it all. Your father wasn’t exactly thrilled to have a cat at the time, but in his post-divorce guilt he just didn’t have it in him to deny you the wish, so Sir Percival and Minho became your best friends in this new town you had barely any knowledge of, and for their company, you were immensely grateful.
Minho and you would hang out every weekend, sometimes even a few times a week after school just to watch his precious Kamen Rider together, or just to play with Sir Percival, but Saturdays were solely reserved for you and him.
One Saturday, though, Minho didn’t make it. There’d been no phone call, no voice message left on the machine, no prior comment of ‘might not be able to make it’, nothing, and even though your father tried his best to assure you something simply must’ve come up, you couldn’t help the feeling of dread that was quickly building inside of you.
It wasn’t until later that day, at around midnight that you got the phone call. You were already asleep, it’d been your father who’d picked up, and as soon as the call was over he had immediately come to your room, to where you and Sir Percival had been cuddled up sleeping on your bed.
“Sweetie… Wake up, dear…” Your father caressed your hair softly, but there was urgency in his voice, and it had you stirring awake almost immediately. As soon as he saw you open your eyes, he spoke again. “Minho… He’s had a… A terrible accident”.
He might as well had shoved a harpoon through your heart. You’d never had a panic attack prior to that night, but the entire chain of events certainly led to one, and your father did try his best to calm you down. Ultimately, he’d hugged you tightly and asked you ‘would you like to go to the hospital?’ to which you obviously said yes without a second thought.
You’d never forget the sight of Minho’s mother that night, with her eyes red and puffy, and her hands slightly shaking as she waited for the doctors to give her any news on the state of her one and only son. You could still remember how tightly she hugged you and your father when you went to the hospital that night. ‘They found him by the edge of the woods, hurt… Bloodied–’ the poor woman could hardly speak, and honestly, you couldn’t blame her, even you weren’t able to produce a single word back then.
The sight of your best friend, of your dearest Minho all intubated and hooked up to machines in that hospital bed plagued you for months, even after he eventually woke up, seemingly fine, as if nothing had happened to him at all, as if he hadn’t almost died. To this day, you were still grateful you were there that day when he woke up, that you were able to hug him tight and cry on his chest as he softly patted you on the back confused out of his mind because he couldn’t remember anything that had happened.
Life went on as normal after he was discharged from the hospital, he’d continue to rescue animals whenever he could, he’d continue to go to class without further eventualities, he’d continue to take care of his pets, to watch his shows, and every day you’d ask him ‘you sure you’re okay?’ to which he’d only scoff and reply a ‘hundred percent’. 
But of course, he wasn’t a hundred percent. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after that you both finally saw the full damage of his accident. It happened at night, on one of your Saturday hangouts, you were having a sleepover, and your father trusted you both enough to stay home alone on your own, even if you were only pre-teen kids–not the safest choice, you’d admit.
You were hanging out as normal, watching the latest Kamen Rider episode, when suddenly Minho tensed where he was sitting next to you on the sofa, and he started gasping for air. To say that you were scared out of your mind was an understatement, and the fact that Sir Percival was all puffed up and had started to hiss uncontrollably at him didn’t make it any better. All of a sudden, among the pained groans and cries of your friend, strange sounding pops and cracks started to resonate in your living room, and in utter shock you saw your dear friend Minho inexplicably change shape, from his normal self to… A wolf.
Back then, you couldn’t even move, you just stared at it–at him?–as Minho thrashed around your living room in a panic, knocking several portraits out of place and making Sir Percival run away and hide. It wasn’t until you called for him, your voice barely audible for you to hear, that he finally stopped moving, turning to look at you. His eyes were the same, the same dark brown irises that you’d come to know as your best friend’s eyes, and the canine whines that came out of his throat pulled at your heartstrings unpleasantly.
If you hadn’t seen his eyes you might’ve not done what you did that night, but as soon as you saw them, as you heard his pained sounds, you just moved closer, slowly, scared he’d go into a frenzied state again. As soon as you were in front of him, you just kneeled, ignoring any and every single warning bell going off in your head as you looked at the wolf, because deep down, you knew this was your friend. Your Minho.
So you hugged that goddamn wolf that was suddenly standing where your friend used to be, and you felt as he almost relaxed fully into your hold as you whispered an incredulous ‘what the hell’s going on?’ You hugged him for a long time, until you started to hear those same pops and cracks that you heard before, giving way to your friend’s human form again, naked, looking at you with panicked eyes and tears in his eyes.
“I remember…” Minho sobbed as he held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, and you couldn’t help the tears from running down your cheeks as you heard him. “I remember what happened. There was a wolf… Huge one… It attacked me, it bit me… What’s going on… What am I gonna do…”
You just couldn’t bear that look in his eyes, the tremble in his voice, the tears that wouldn’t stop, so you pulled him to you, hugging him tightly, all as you tried your best to be there for your friend, to reassure him, even if every single word that came out of your mouth did so between hiccups and sobs. “We’ll figure it out… Together, Minho. Together, huh?”
“No… You shouldn’t be close to me, what if I–”
“Together, I said”, you just hugged him tighter. Minho was your friend, your anchor, and there was no way that you would let him deal with this–whatever it was–on his own. “Don’t push me away please…”
“I should…” But even as he said it, Minho held you tighter.
Trying to get your living room looking normal after that was a bit of a challenge, but once you both calmed down and you fished some of your father’s old clothes for him to put on you managed to do that fairly well, so much so your dad didn’t even notice anything different the next day–maybe due to the exhaustion his night shift had brought him, you’d never know…
Minho started to change a bit after that situation. He grew taller, stronger, and his senses heightened, especially his hearing. Minho was able to hear things kilometres away from him, and it contributed to a period of crankiness in his life, where he would snap at people or be a bit harsher than usual–not to you, though. He always tried his best to not snap at you, and whenever he did, he always apologised almost immediately. 
You started to change a bit, but not in any supernatural way, just in a normal, human puberty way. It was normal, your father had told you back then, and as all these new changes started happening in your body, both physically and emotionally, you started to see your dear Minho in a new light. Suddenly, whenever he hugged you your cheeks would heat up, whenever he laughed because of one of your jokes your heart would flutter, and whenever you were watching TV and a couple kissed on the screen you couldn’t help but wonder how it’d be to do something like that… To do something like that with Minho.
You reasoned it was normal, Minho was the only boy you had around you at the time, so obviously you would think these things sometimes. It meant nothing, for sure. He never really seemed to show any interest other than being your friend, and that was fine. You were fine with that. Having him with you, however it was, was truly all you ever needed.
There were some challenges, though. Minho had all these weird symptoms and behaviours now that he had been turned into what your research had told you was a werewolf. You both couldn’t exactly go to anyone and tell them ‘hey, remember that accident Minho had a handful of months ago? Yeah, about that…’ because, realistically, who would believe you? The universe, though, worked in your favour, because one day, when Minho had come to pick you up from your after school class to walk you home, another boy had approached you.
“Hey, excuse me…” You recognised the boy from your school, a couple of years younger than you, and when he approached, Minho’s eyes went wide in surprise, almost as if he recognised him somehow. “Are you… You’re a werewolf, aren’t you?”
“Who are you? And why are you asking such weird questions?” You couldn’t help but intervene, always feeling oddly protective of your friend and his… Condition.
The boy flushed a bit, but he looked you in the eyes regardless. “I’m… Jisung. And I’m asking because at first I thought it was you. I’ve been… Building up the courage to come and ask, so we could, you know, maybe help each other out? I don’t know that many people at school, but only now that I saw you together I realised I was smelling him on you”.
“You’re… You’re a werewolf, too?” Minho was slightly incredulous, stepping a bit closer to you. “Is that what I’m smelling on you? A werewolf scent?”
“You can’t tell?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, confused, but then he gasped, looking slightly alarmed. “Were you… Were you born as a werewolf at all?”
Minho just shook his head. “Was attacked. Now I’m like this”.
“Oh, God!” Bringing his hands up to his head in alarm, Jisung almost threw his beanie off of his head with the motion. “You have no pack?!”
“Nope. Just have my mum, and my friend here”,  Minho draped his arm over your shoulder, pulling you to him. He’d been doing this often these days, keeping you close to him when someone came too close. You didn’t mind much, but it did make your heart stutter, which you conveniently always decided to ignore.
Regardless, Minho was right in his statement. He didn’t have many friends, he’d had a couple of friends throughout the years but they usually fell through, you were the constant, just like he was your constant. Funnily enough, Jisung also didn’t have many friends, or any at all, so he naturally gravitated towards you two after that day, and, in a way, you liked that. Mostly because he was able to help Minho in ways you never could.
Jisung helped him understand how to take care of himself as a werewolf, how to control certain urges and how to fulfil certain needs. He started joining you two on your Saturday plans, and your father was honestly happy that you were making other friends, too. Sir Percival, on the other hand, had a hard time getting accustomed to the two werewolves coming in and out of the house. He liked Minho enough, because he recognised what he’d done for him–or at least, that was what Minho told you Sir Percival told him–but the addition of Jisung had him a bit on edge.
Especially because, for some reason, Jisung was… Affectionate, to put it simply. He liked to cuddle. A lot. And he would often try to get Sir Percival to cuddle him, or he would try to get Minho to cuddle him, or he would try to get you to cuddle him, and honestly you were usually the only one to cater to his needs, so at some point he started coming to you directly.
You didn’t really mind, but whenever he left earlier than Minho then he also wanted to cuddle, and you never truly understood why, but you let him anyway, mostly because you… Liked cuddling with Minho. As friends, of course. Always friends. Just friends.
So you spent a couple of years like this. With your two werewolf friends, with your mildly grumpy cat, facing the hardships of high school along with the hardships of their supernatural condition. Until Jisung broke the news that he had to move out, because his pack was moving out, and since he was so young he just couldn’t make the decision for himself, he had to leave.
You could still remember the day he left. You cried a bit, you’d admit, even Minho was holding back a few tears as he hugged his friend, just as Jisung offered a ‘this isn’t goodbye, we’ll meet again. I’m sure of it’. And as you saw him walk down the road, Minho pulled you to him, hugging you tightly against him.
“Just you and me again, kitten. What are we gonna do now?”
You just chuckled, pulling away from him a bit to look him in the eyes and wipe some of the tears that were still clinging to your lower lash line. “Kitten, huh?”
“Of course!” Minho said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world for him to use such a pet name with you. “You’re a cat person, aren’t you? And I’m a… Dog-person, heh…”
Groaning, you slapped him in the chest. “That’s such a bad joke, honestly. Why do I keep up with your shit?”
“Because I’m your favourite person in this world”, he swayed your bodies back and forth, waddling you back towards your house. “And I’d be your favourite animal, too, if it weren’t for Sir Percival”.
All you could do back then was laugh, because he was right. He was your favourite person in this world.
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‘People usually grow apart, sweetie. It’s a normal thing that happens’, your father had told you once, and you believed him. But funnily enough, that never happened to you and Minho.
Sure, you moved out of your hometown after high school to pursue higher education somewhere else, while he moved out to do exactly the same–his goal of becoming a vet was still one of the most oddly amusing things to you, considering he was close to being an animal himself. You both made new groups of friends, dated different people, took different career paths, but even then, you still kept in touch. Even if you had grown and matured, in essence, you were both still the same.
Minho had finally found a pack of his own, right after he reconnected with Jisung. The second he moved into their den he invited you over and you met his entire new group of friends, his new family, and you couldn’t have been any happier for him. They were all so nice and welcoming, and you quickly found out that Minho had become one of the main pillars of his pack, something that, somehow, was and wasn’t surprising in equal parts. 
On one hand, it was because you were so used to Minho The Loner, Minho the boy who only had you and Jisung, that knowing he now had other people to care for was surprising. But on the other hand, Minho was so caring, so protective, there was no doubt in your mind that he’d be able to protect these people well, especially when he cared deeply about them. Just as he had done with you throughout the years.
You two tried to meet at least once a month, and most of the time it was you who drove to his place, staying over in his flat as you recounted anything you hadn’t talked about in the past thirty days, all as Kamen Rider played in the background, a show that Minho was still to this day attached to–and you couldn’t blame him, the thing was entertaining and it didn’t seem like they’d stop pumping seasons anytime soon.
Jisung would join you often, too. Demanding attention and cuddles just in the way only Jisung knew how to, and the rest of his pack soon followed once they warmed up to you.
You could still remember the first day Minho introduced you to his pack’s leader–or ‘alpha’, as they called it. Chris was nice, he greeted you with respect, and Minho had told you after that he was the one who had to ‘allow’ people staying here, even if they were just visiting. So you figured he thought you were nice as well, considering you frequently stayed over.
As the years went by you saw more werewolves join their pack, Seungmin, Felix, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and eventually, even humans as well when Chris got himself a new roommate–his now girlfriend. The last person you saw move in here was Changbin’s roommate, also now his girlfriend, and they all seemed to take care of each other really well, they all worked together to keep their small ecosystem going smoothly, and it was honestly refreshing to see.
It made you feel happy for Minho, who seemed to finally have a full, loving family of his own. Not like his mother wasn’t family, she just didn’t know–or couldn’t know, as Minho put it–what he was, and that, coupled with the fact that she had apparently remarried an asshole–had unfortunately put a bit of a strain on his relationship with her.
“I have news, kitten”, Minho said, plopping himself on top of you on the sofa, not caring in the slightest if he crushed you, the sudden weight on your chest making you groan.
“Can’t breathe”, was all you mustered, so Minho shuffled, laying on his side and wrapping his limbs around your body to pull you closer to him.
“Better?”
“Yeah”, you just sighed, turning to bury your face in his clothed chest. “So, news?”
“Yes”, Minho rubbed his cheek on the top of your head, and you could’ve sworn you heard him mumble a ‘God, you still smell like Jisung’ before he cleared his throat and continued talking again. “Remember how we always talk about the monthly camping trips and how I’ve always wanted to take you and you’ve always wanted to come, but Chris’ never let us because ‘it’s too dangerous’?” He added the last bit with a poor imitation of Chris’ voice, making you laugh.
“Yeah, how could I not remember”, you couldn’t help yourself from inhaling deeply, getting lost in the smell of Minho’s fabric softener, on the smell of his body wash, on his natural scent, and–God, you really shouldn’t let your thoughts wander like this, not when he was this close, not when you knew you liked your friend… More than a friend.
You’d always known. How you felt towards Minho. Even if you’d dated other people, you’d always known. You always just tried to ignore it. But these days, whenever you met after spending long periods of time apart, you just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering into that dangerous territory… Into the What-Ifs. What if I told him? What if I kissed him? What if he kissed me? What if we fu–
“Well, I’ve finally gotten him to agree”, the smile was almost audible in his voice, and it made you pull away from his chest to look him in the eyes.
“Really?!”
“Really, really”, Minho’s hold around your body tightened even more. “So, hope you can get your friend Mar to take care of Sir Percival for a bit. I don’t think he’d like being surrounded by nine wolves”.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. “Oh, he’d hate it. He’s too old for that. So when’s this trip of yours?”
“In a couple of weeks, you think you can make it?”
“Hm. I’ll make it”.
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“When you said you went camping every month, this wasn’t what I had in mind”, you couldn’t help but say the moment you pulled up into the house, or should you say mansion? “This place is huge”.
“Did you think we were literally sleeping in the woods?” Seungmin yawned, rubbing sleep from his eyes when you turned to look at him from the passenger’s seat.
“I mean, isn’t that what camping is? Whose house is this anyway?��
“Chris’”, Minho replied simply as he started parking. “It’s the only thing his grandparents left him after they passed. Since he had a pack of his own, they figured it’d be useful. And it is, but it’s also a pain to upkeep”.
As soon as Minho was parked, Seungmin and you stepped out of the car and opened the boot, taking out the many bags and backpacks from there so you could get them into the house. Changbin’s and Chris’ cars arrived right after, and soon enough, everything was placed securely within the living area or in the kitchen–the latter exactly where you were in right now, getting the many containers of food into the refrigerator with Minho, just as Hyunjin busied himself washing an assortment of cups, plates, and glasses.
“Which room can I take?” You asked once everything was put away in its place.
“You’re staying in mine”, Minho replied simply, chewing on a piece he’d taken off of a baguette.
“And where will you be staying?”
Minho blinked slightly, swallowing the food in his mouth. “In my room. You’re staying with me”.
“What?” It wasn’t like you hadn’t slept within the same room as Minho before, you’d done it plenty of times. But since your… Acceptance of your feelings, you weren’t sure you’d be able to share such an enclosed space without losing your sanity–or worse, confessing your feelings.
“One of Chris’ conditions”, Chris’ girlfriend explained from where she was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, taking a sip of her glass of water.
“Can’t I stay with you?” You asked her, pouting slightly.
“Not unless you want to sleep with me, too”, Chris chimed in as he stepped into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend’s waist just as she offered him a bit of her water, which he immediately took a sip of.
“Why wouldn’t you want to stay with me? I’m offended”, Minho said in a mock hurt tone, serving himself a glass of water as well. “Besides, wouldn’t recommend staying with these two. They’ll surely fuck even if you’re there”.
“Hey!” Chris was also clearly pretending to be offended, bringing a hand to clutch his chest. “I can behave”.
“Baby, you and I both know that’s not true”, his girlfriend chuckled, patting him on the chest as she made her way to the sink to give Hyunjin her glass.
“I can!”
“Christopher, darling, dear angel, don’t lie to yourself like this. You’d have one look at our dear mother’s child bearing hips and you’ll lose it”, Minho pointed at him, trying to sound like those cheap ‘life coaches’ on social media. “It’s okay to admit you have a problem, we’re here for you”.
Chris gasped, bringing a hand to his mouth. “For the record, I don’t have a problem–”
“That’s right, you don’t”, Chris’ girlfriend added, with a teasing smile on her lips. “You’re just shameless”.
“That I am. I mean, can you blame me? Just look at your hips… At your everything, damn…” Chris gave his girlfriend a look from head to toe, staring for maybe a bit too long, until his girlfriend mustered a ‘see? Shameless. Utterly remorseless’, making him snap out of his trance, bringing a sheepish smile to his face. And then, finally, he turned to you. “Minho’s right. You’re better off staying with him. With that being said, let’s get everything ready, the sun will set soon”.
As it turned out, ‘getting everything ready’ meant making sure there were plenty of robes ready by the back entrance where the pack would come back through, filling an insane amount of jugs with water, and having the food ready for them to just pop into the microwave once they were back. Jeongin, Felix, Changbin’s girlfriend, and Minho got busy with this, while the rest of you took the reminder bags that were left in the living room to each room.
You left your belongings and Minho’s for last, and when you opened the door to his room you could’ve almost fainted. There was one bed. You were going to have to share this bed with Minho for at least two nights and you honestly weren’t sure how you were going to survive that. On one hand, that meant you’d get to cuddle, one of your favourite activities to do with your best friend. On the other hand, you’d get to cuddle, which was the worst thing you could do when you were harbouring feelings for said best friend.
For the time being, you decided to ignore this, since the sun was setting and the pack would surely leave soon. So you left your bags there, and made your way back downstairs to find everyone already going through the back door to the backyard. 
Minho spotted you right as he was taking his shirt off, a sight you certainly didn’t need, but you wouldn’t shy away from anyway. “Ready for your run, doggy?”
Minho scoffed, unbuttoning his trousers. Your eyes followed the movement, and your face went serious immediately. Thankfully–or regretfully, you couldn’t decide–he left them on. “Don’t look at me like that, kitten. I might think you want to see me naked”, he was only teasing you, just like he always did, but he was so close to the truth you were finding it incredibly hard to not look guilty. “When was the last time you saw me in my wolf form?”
“Uhhh…” You honestly couldn’t recall, or maybe it was hard to when you were too focused on not looking at his chest. “Probably before we finished high school? Which, now that I think about it, is kinda weird, isn’t it? It’s been a long time. Why do you ask?”
“‘Cause… I don’t think you’d be calling me a doggy if you’d seen me recently”, whatever response you had for that got caught in your throat as soon as you saw his eyes shift, turning from that brown you knew so well to golden, glowing a bit more intensely the more the sun set.
Minho stared at you, right in the eyes with his golden ones. It lasted probably just a few moments, but it felt like an eternity, until he finally spoke again, a bit slower than usual and with a low tone that had the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. “I’m gonna take these off”, he took a hold of his zipper, and it was almost as if he was challenging you to keep looking. But ultimately, you were a coward, so you turned around.
You heard the characteristic sound of the zipper opening up, then you heard the rustling of fabric, and finally, you started to hear the pops and cracks you’d come to know as the sounds of his human body shifting into his wolf form. Soon enough, you started to hear the same sounds all around the backyard, and you knew the rest were also doing the same.
After a while, you felt warmth behind you, not really on you, but close enough for you to feel the huffs of breath against your back, so you turned around, coming face to face with your best friend. And you honestly weren’t prepared.
You’d seen Minho in his wolf form plenty of times in the past, but admittedly you hadn’t seen him since you entered adulthood, much less with this golden glow in his eyes. His fur was the same, the same shade, the same pattern, but he’d grown. In his human form, Minho wasn’t really considered a tall man, but like this, he was certainly bigger than any wolf you’d ever seen, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from going wide in surprise and a soft ‘wow’ from leaving your lips.
In his eyes, you could almost see his amusement, almost as if he was laughing at your reaction. Coming close to you, Minho nudged your hand with his nose, and you immediately brought that same hand to his head, petting him, scratching behind his ear affectionately, and a smile immediately made its way onto your face. “You’re still a doggy to me, you know?”
Minho huffed, somewhat annoyed, you figured. Giving your hand an affectionate lick, he turned around walking towards the rest of his pack that were already gathering by the edge of the woods. Suddenly, you felt warmth close again, and you gasped as an even bigger wolf walked past you. Chris, probably, since his girlfriend was walking right behind him, and she stopped next to you to look at the rest.
Once Chris reached the edge of the woods, he turned around, pacing a bit, getting the full attention of his pack of wolves. As soon as he was seemingly satisfied with their positions, he howled, triggering a chain of howls from the other wolves, until finally he turned back towards the woods and took off, the rest following soon after.
And just like that, they were gone.
“Well, just you and me for a few hours, then”, Chris’ girlfriend turned to you, giving you a small smile. “Wanna hang out here, or you prefer chilling on your own?”
You gave her a smile in return. “Let’s hang out”.
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The moment the pack came back, it was all a blur. The group was usually chaotic, but it seemed like the run had made them even more so. Everyone’s eyes were glowing golden, some more intensely than others, but they were, and they explained to you that it was the influence of the moon, that it’d probably wear off once they all calmed down or by the time the sun was back up in the sky.
The kitchen was crammed with everyone trying to get themselves stuffed full of food. It was all heartwarming, in a way. Very homely, just like any time you’d seen them all interact together, and they even made their best efforts to keep you included in the conversation, which you appreciated immensely.
At some point, Minho left the group, only to return a handful of minutes later, out of his robe and into his usual pyjamas–a loose vest top and loose shorts. The second he stepped into the kitchen, he shushed everyone, bringing the attention to him, just as he brought his hands up.
“Time to pay up, losers. Mummy and Daddy are fucking”.
There was a mix of groans and cheers, and it was only then that you noticed that Chris and his girlfriend weren’t there. They’d never come to the kitchen at all, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you saw the group exchange tenners, until finally Minho, Jisung, Changbin, and Felix split the jackpot.
“Man, I really had hopes for them”, Changbin’s girlfriend commented as she took a sip of her drink, giving Changbin a dirty look as he waved his winnings on her face.
Felix snorted at that. “Please, did you see how Chris was running towards the end of the run? I knew we’d won immediately”.
The rest of the evening went on like this, joking, talking, just overall having a good time, and by the time Chris appeared in the kitchen to get two plates of food, looking as if he had just won Millionaire, only Felix, Seungmin, Minho, and you were left.
“Gonna go to bed”, you murmured to Minho just as Seungmin started teasing Chris about his escapade.
“Going with you”, his eyes were still glowing, and by now he was probably the only one whose eyes were still glowing–you couldn’t really tell, since some of them left earlier before the effects of the moon had worn off.
As you made your way upstairs, and freshened up for bed, you were reminded of your earlier predicament. The shared bed. Honestly, by now, you were so tired you could hardly care at all. You’d push through, just like you always did.
Tucking yourself into the covers you let out a sigh, enjoying the soft sheets on your exposed limbs, waiting for your roommate for the night to come back from his trip to the toilet. You’d push through, you reminded yourself. Minho was your friend. Your best friend. You’d slept with him a million times, it’d be fine.
As soon as the man in question made it back to your room, he switched off the light and plopped himself on the bed, making it bounce slightly, and you couldn’t help but chuckle. 
“So, did you have fun with our dear pack mother? Was coming to our ‘camping trip’ what you’d expected?” Minho wiggled under the covers, turning to look at you.
“I did have fun with her, she’s nice”, you regarded him with a smile. “It wasn’t exactly what I expected, but wow if it isn’t an experience, huh?”
“It is”, Minho chuckled, smiling so wide you could barely see his eyes, but that little bit of them that you did get to see was still glowing gold, and you just had to comment on it.
“Why are your eyes still glowing?”
Minho shrugged, moving a bit closer to you. “A lot of werewolf shit going on right now with the moon, it’ll go away eventually”.
“Mm”, was all you could muster before you yawned, stretching your limbs a bit only to turn to your side, away from Minho. “Gonna sleep now, g’night”.
“Aww, c’mon”, you felt Minho move, and then you felt warmth, warmth on your back where he was almost pressing his chest to, and warmth on your waist where he had thrown his arm to wrap around you. “Let’s cuddle a bit, kitten. Hm? Pretty please?”
“Ugh, get off, you big dog. You’re too warm”, you couldn’t help but whine. Contradicting your words, though, you took his hand that was lying around your waist and clutched it to your chest, keeping him in place.
Minho noticed, because of course he did, so he chuckled, clearly amused, further pressing his chest to your back. “Let go of my hand, then. So I can move away”.
You were silent for a bit, softly running your thumb on his palm. He let you, just like he always did. “Don’t wanna…” 
It was warm, he was warm. He always was, he’d always been since the day he turned, but even if it was stupidly warm under the thin covers, you still wanted him close to you. Because Minho was comfort, he was safety, and tonight you wanted just that, even if you would turn into a puddle of sweat right then and there.
“Mmm…” Minho’s hum vibrated against your shoulder, where he had been keeping his mouth pressed since he moved closer to you. It wasn’t uncommon for you two to be this close, you cuddled often. Platonically. Or at least, you were convinced it was platonic.
There was always that tiny voice in your head telling you to yank the cork you had stuffed in your heart, to let your true feelings free, but what if you did and Minho didn’t feel the same way about you? Your friendship might be ruined. Although, realistically, you knew Minho wouldn’t treat you any differently, he was that type of person, and you’d probably get over your feelings after that imminent rejection.
“Lift your head up a bit”, Minho said suddenly, so you immediately did as asked, feeling as he sneaked his arm under your neck, curling around your frame to pull you even closer to him, admittedly turning your heartbeat up a notch. “You think Sir Percival’s doing alright?” His lips brushed on your shoulder with each word, and your body was quickly betraying you, goosebumps rising under his touch and heat quickly pooling in the pit of your stomach with just the mere feeling of his lips on your skin.
Swallowing thickly, you gathered your bearings, answering as steadily as you could. “Mar sent me a picture of him earlier. Wanna see?”
“Mmm… I do”, his hold on you tightened the slightest bit. “But your phone’s too far away. Don’t want you to move from here…”
“Always so needy, huh?”
Minho chuckled at that, moving a bit so he could talk in your ear, almost whispering. “Bold of you to say, when your heart’s about to leap out of your chest, huh kitten?”
Caught red-handed. Curse his supernatural hearing… Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to ease all the different burning sensations coursing through you–nervousness, anticipation, lust–they felt like so many it was really hard to tell exactly which one was the most prominent. You had the full intent to reply, something snarky to get him to shut his mouth, but your mind suddenly went blank when you started to feel Minho’s lips on your skin again, pressing slow, tender kisses on your shoulder, and the motions had you tightening your hold on his hand that you were still keeping close to your chest.
The action wasn’t uncommon, either. Just as you cuddled often, you also kissed like this often. Platonically.
Platonically… Right? Was it platonic? It must be, you were just friends after all. Best friends. The bestest of friends.
“You know… Maybe Chris was right”, Minho mumbled between kisses after a while.
“About?” 
“It… Is dangerous for you to be here”.
You couldn’t help but scoff. “Why would it be? I’m fine. Nothing’s happened”.
“Mm… Yet”, Minho’s mouth travelled from your shoulder to your nape, leisurely kissing there, too, and your brain was close to shutting off completely. “The moon… Guess I… Underestimated what it’d do to me with you here”.
He was being a bit cryptic, which wasn’t uncommon when he talked about his lycanthropy, so you wanted to inquire further. “Minho?”
“Mm?” With a deep intake of breath, Minho sighed, almost in the same way you sigh after getting a whiff of your favourite meal, and the action had saliva pooling in your mouth. “Shit, you never believe me when I say it, but you do smell good, kitten. Always do…”
The shiver that ran up and down your spine was impossible to miss. Minho always told you that, you always brushed it off as him teasing you, playing with you, but right now, with how low his voice was, with how deep it got, you couldn’t help but believe him. 
“You know you… Are my favourite person in this world, right?” He murmured against your skin, and the featherlight touch of his lips had your head spinning a bit.
So you decided to poorly attempt to divert the conversation. “What about Jisung?”
Minho chuckled softly, further pressing his chest to you, holding your thumb in his fist as you still kept his hand to your chest. “Completely different feelings”.
“How so? Isn’t he also your friend?”
Minho was quiet for a while, just mindlessly pressing kisses on your skin, until finally, he removed himself from your space, removing his hand from your tight hold with ease, only to push on your shoulder to get you to lay on your back as he hovered over you, propped up on his elbow. The sight of his glowing golden eyes had you almost shivering as he stared deeply into your eyes. That look was raw, intense, and your heart truly felt like it was about to leap out of your chest when he looked at you like this.
“You’re much more than a friend to me. You know that, right?”
You just looked back at him, holding his gaze as best as you could. And as you struggled to do so, you were reminded that, at the end of the day, Minho was still a predator, and even if you trusted him with your life, your body would have a natural, instinctual reaction to his stare. Ultimately, you couldn’t help yourself from moving your gaze away, focusing instead on that mouth of his, on his pouty lips that had plagued your dreams for nights on end, slightly chapped tonight but still just as delectable looking as ever.
“Kitten…” Minho was trying to get your attention back to his eyes, but you just didn’t want to look away, enjoying the way his lips moved with every word that came out of his mouth. “Why are you… Why are you looking at my mouth?”
If there was one certain thing in this world was that Lee Minho was going to be straightforward at any given moment, and this moment–whatever the moment was–was clearly no exception to that rule.
You didn’t say anything right away, just absentmindedly licked your lips as you shamelessly stared, catching the sight of his Adam’s apple bobbing in your peripheral with the movement. “Just thinking…”
“About?”
“Things I should not be thinking about”.
The tension was palpable. Or were you imagining it? It certainly felt tense to you, but not in an uncomfortable way. You could see how taut his body was as he hovered over you, and as you kept looking at his lips, there was nothing you wanted more than for Minho to make a move. Or should you make a move instead? Maybe you should. But would you be able to deal with the consequences of that? Maybe not. 
It was then, when you were having that struggle within yourself, that you saw his lips move, that you heard him. It was only a whisper, but you were sure you heard him, the sound registering a second too late, a quiet ‘fuck this’ before his lips were on yours, and you couldn’t help the embarrassing sound that escaped your mouth the second his skin made contact with yours.
Heat spread quickly within you, your mouth moving on instinct to match Minho’s almost desperate movements. Even if his lips were slightly chapped, that was the last thing you could care about, you’d get them moist, that was no problem at all. Moving a hand to the back of his head you pulled him further into you, revelling in the groan that escaped his throat the moment your nails lightly scratched his scalp.
Shuffling a bit above you, one of Minho’s legs found its way between yours, his thigh pressing against your core to add the tiniest bit of delicious pressure where you were desperate to feel him most, all as he sneaked his tongue into your mouth. If you were letting out the most embarrassing noises, you didn’t care, not when you could feel him hard and warm against your stomach, not when all you cared about was Minho and his hands on your thigh and his tongue in your mouth and his lips on your own.
“We should…” Minho started to talk, all between pecks of his lips, and it honestly didn’t seem like he wanted to stop kissing you at all. “Should talk about this”.
“We should”, you agreed, also refusing to stop kissing him, starting to shamelessly grind yourself against his thigh, the groan that left his lips as soon as you did adding to that desperate need in your gut. Your hands found their way under his shirt, feeling him up. His lower back, his abdomen, his ribs, his chest, and your touch made him shiver slightly.
Detaching himself from you for a second, Minho took a hold of the back of his shirt, tugging it off of him, only to immediately return his mouth to yours, kissing you desperately, eagerly, the bed sheets pooling back behind you two with the motion. Your hands roamed his body, hungry to feel him. It wasn’t like you had never touched him before, but never had you touched him like this, so intimately, so needy.
“Stop me”, Minho pleaded as his lips attached to your neck, sucking and nibbling on your skin, eliciting whines from your mouth, his hand travelling all the way from your thigh to your ribs, holding you tightly in place.
“No”, you replied confidently, because you genuinely didn’t want to stop, not when you finally had a handful of his bum in your hand, not when it all felt so right, so easy, and natural.
“Shit… You… Want this?” His lips returned to yours, almost stealing the air straight out of your lungs with the sheer intensity of his kiss.
“Want you. Only ever wanted you, Minho”.
Minho groaned, his hips lightly bucking into you as soon as your confession reached his ears. “Talk later?” 
“Later”, you nodded in agreement, slightly breathless as you felt him tug on your top, removing it from your body. You could talk about it later. You didn’t want to stop now, not that you knew how his lips on you felt like, how his weight on you felt like.
As soon as your top was off your body Minho’s hands were on your tits, kneading the supple flesh with his hands. “You’ve got no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this, fuck… These pretty tits of yours, shit…” His fingers started to tease and tweak your nipples, making you whine against his mouth, making you further press against his thigh. “Sensitive here, huh?”
“Minho, I swear to a God that doesn’t exist, if you don’t get my tits in your mouth right now…”
“Don’t boss me around”, removing himself from your space again, Minho hooked his fingers under the waistband of your shorts, taking them down and off your legs along with your underwear. Slotting himself between your legs, his fingers found your core, lightly teasing your clit just as he swore under his breath. “If you boss me around you’ll trigger my alpha instincts, is that what you want?”
“What if that happens–” Your words died on your tongue as soon as he started drawing circles on your clit. You couldn’t help but moan, bringing a hand to your mouth to try and muffle yourself as much as you could, considering the rest of his pack was also in the house. 
“Don’t act all innocent on me now, huh? You know exactly what I’d do. And I bet you’d love it, too”, regardless of his pretence banter, his lips closed around one of your nipples, licking your sensitive bud into his mouth, the motions sending sparks of pleasure right down to your core just as he dipped a finger into your entrance.
Minho’s attention on your chest coupled with his digit moving in and out of your core had your mind soaring, had your mind suddenly blank of anything other than him and you on this bed in this room. The more his tongue licked your skin, the more his teeth nibbled your chest, the more fingers he stuffed into you, the more you wriggled under him, whining desperately under his motions. Your hands held onto the bed sheets and his hair to try and keep your mind in the moment, all as you tried your best to not let a single sound out of your mouth louder than you should.
When he was four fingers deep into your cunt, when his thumb started to draw circles on your clit, you just couldn’t wait anymore. You were on the edge of your orgasm and you were feeling desperate for it, but you also had the intense need to feel him within your walls, for him to stretch you with all of him, so you reached for his crotch as best as you could in this position, feeling him up, and your eyes snapped open just by the feel of it.
Minho’s lips released your nipple with an obscene sound, all for him to further buck into your hand as he looked into your eyes, his brows furrowing slightly and his teeth sinking on his bottom lip to muffle a groan. It wasn’t like you hadn’t felt him before. There had been occasions… Occasions you both had silently decided to ignore, times when you might’ve woken up cuddled up, and he was suffering the effects of morning wood, but you never let yourself dwell on it too much. Now, though, and enhanced by the fact that he clearly wasn’t wearing anything under his shorts, you were able to feel him completely, and you felt saliva suddenly pool in your mouth.
“Minho…” Swallowing thickly, you tried to feel as much of him as you could. “You… I mean…”
“It’s just… One of those alpha things, you know? Why do you think I got four fingers into you right now, kitten?” He emphasised his words by hammering his fingers harder into you, making you whimper. “Trying to get you ready. Don’t wanna hurt you”.
“Fuck… Is this what turning before puberty did to you?” With shaky hands, you hooked your fingers on the waistband of his shorts, the pace of his fingers slowing down a bit as Minho curiously eyed you. There was some resistance, but when you finally got the garment down enough, you almost whimpered at the sight. “Shit… Even your cock’s pretty, huh Minho?”
Minho chuckled at that, slightly incredulous, but you noticed the blush that spread over his cheeks, and you couldn’t have felt more satisfied. Wrapping your hand around his length, you let out an appreciative hum, stroking him leisurely, enjoying the heavy feel of it in your hand. And before you could say anything else, Minho was back on you, kissing you eagerly, hungrily, making you breathless with his tongue in your mouth and his fingers in your cunt.
“Want you…” Was all you could mumble between kisses, relishing the groan that escaped his mouth as you did.
“Shit, wait”, Minho pulled his fingers out of you, moving away from your mouth to look at you. “There are no condoms in this house”.
The alarm was apparent in his voice, and it rubbed off of you. “You got all kinds of supernatural shit here and you got no condoms?”
“We don’t come to this house to fuck, babe. What do you want me to say?” Minho chuckled, moving away from your space altogether. The sudden lack of his body heat was unpleasant, you wanted it back, desperately. Which was probably why you spoke your next words.
“Are you clean? I am. Haven’t had sex since we went to that place to get tested like… Dunno, months ago”, the implications of your question hung in the air, and Minho’s mouth went slack.
Swallowing, he brought his hands to your thighs, softly caressing your skin. “I am. Also haven’t had sex since then”.
“In that case if you… Uh… If you don’t mind then we can… If you want… You know”, Minho knew you had an implant. Hell, Minho practically had your menstrual cycle memorised, he was the one to save you multiple times throughout High School when you didn’t even know your period would come, always keeping extra pads for you just in case. And even in present day, he had gone with you to get the damn thing put in a handful of months ago, so of course he knew.
If there was anyone in this world that knew anything about you was Minho. Your best friend Minho. Your best friend Minho who you were about to let fuck you raw. And the thought had your mouth watering, you’d admit.
“Shit, are you being serious right now?” Minho leaned into you, and you couldn’t help but take a deep breath as you felt the tip of his length on your bare skin, just as he looked you in the eyes. You nodded, you didn’t think you’d ever been more serious about something in your life than right now. 
“Holy–Am I dreaming or what? Damn… You… Shit…” Taking a hold of his length, he lined himself with your entrance, making you tense in anticipation as you felt his bare skin on yours. “Gonna go slow, okay? Don’t wanna hurt you, hm?”
Minho took his time, going in slowly, letting you adjust to him, and you couldn’t help but furrow your brows at the stretch, biting your lip to suppress a whimper. “Shh, it’s okay…” He mumbled against your cheek, pressing soft pecks on your skin. “Breathe, baby…”
“Mmm, baby…” You mindlessly mumbled back, trying to focus on the feel of his lips on your skin instead of the sting between your legs.
“You like that? Me calling you baby, huh?”
“I do–” Your breath caught in your throat when you felt Minho’s hips flush against you, when he bottomed out, swallowing almost loudly at how full you felt. “Maybe embarrassingly so…”
“No need to feel embarrassed, kitten. I like calling you baby, too”, he looked you in the eyes, taking you in. Slowly, you saw how the golden glow of his eyes dissipated, leaving his brown irises behind. Bringing a hand to cup your cheek, his thumb softly caressed your skin, and you suddenly felt yourself flush under his heavy gaze. “You’re so gorgeous, huh? And cute. Pretty. Always… Only ever wanted you, too”.
“You did?”
“Hm… Still do”, he confirmed before leaning in, pressing his lips to yours to kiss you again, slowly, sensually, and you couldn’t help but clench around him when he did, making him chuckle for a moment as you kissed.
You just held onto him, caressing the planes of his back, feeling the goosebumps that rose on his flesh under your touch. Even when you could feel his bare skin against yours, his bare skin within you, you couldn’t even believe this was real, it was happening. You were lying here, with your best friend’s cock buried deep within your walls, kissing him, and your mind was almost spinning, dizzy with that realisation. 
You needed Minho to move. If he didn’t move soon you feared you might actually die right there out of the intense need you felt for him, so you rolled your hips, murmuring a soft ‘move, babe’ against his lips. So he did, starting a slow, borderline teasing pace, working you up, letting you get used to the movement.
“Fuck, I like when you call me babe, too”, he looked you in the eyes, picking up his pace. “Love the way your cunt’s hugging my cock, baby, so good… Been dreaming about this, too, you know? How you would feel, and it’s so, so much better than I could’ve ever imagined”.
“You–You were?”
“Mm, I was”, sitting back on his heels, Minho threw one of your legs over his shoulder, the change of angle made it so his cock grazed that sensitive spot within your walls, making you curl your toes and see stars with each thrust of his hips, and the second his thumb pressed on your clit, you knew you were too far gone, panting heavily at the onslaught of sensations that Minho was bestowing upon you.
“Promise I’ll go harder later, hm? I know you want that, for me to ruin you”, you didn’t think you could flush further, but you felt heat on your face, and your belly tightening with the words that came out of his mouth. “But I want it like this now, kitten. Wanna enjoy you like this. Is that okay?”
His thumb on your clit sped up, and you almost choked on your words with the sudden change, even when he was still thrusting slow, but deep. You simply nodded, eagerly, holding his gaze confidently as that knot in the pit of your stomach got tighter with each and every one of his motions. “Just want you…” was all you could muster as your hand reached to softly caress his abdomen, feeling his muscles tightening and relaxing with each thrust.
“Mmm… So beautiful”, removing his thumb from your clit he brought it to your lips. “Lick it, baby. Make it as wet as you can for me, hm?” So you did, coating the tip of his thumb in your saliva only for him to return it to your clit, for him to start quickly rubbing circles on your sensitive bud, making you throw your head back with the sudden onslaught. 
“Minho, babe… Please, want to…” 
“Come on, baby… Give it to me, wanna feel you…” With a few more flicks of his thumb on your clit, you finally came, bringing your hand to your mouth so you could muffle the desperate moans that were about to come out of your mouth, relishing the heat you felt course through your body as Minho kept fucking into you.
With the effects of your orgasm, the rhythm of his hips was becoming more and more erratic, his face contorting in pleasure as he chased his own release. Reaching for the hand he kept on your pubic bone after you came, you placed your hand on top of his, bringing his attention back from where he had been looking at his cock disappearing between your walls to your eyes. “Want you to come on me, wanna feel you, please…”
“Shit, kitten…” Taking a hold of your hips, Minho held you tightly, giving you a diluted taste of that strength you knew he had but he was holding back on, of that strength you were surely going to beg him to release on you later, just as he gave a few more thrusts, working himself up closer to his climax.
In one final swift movement, Minho pulled out of your heat, wrapping his hand around his length and bringing himself to completion right on top of your abdomen, and, biting on his bottom lip to dampen obscene sounds of his own, he finally came, thick ropes of his cum soiling your torso, all the way from your navel to your tits. It was so much, you knew werewolves were biologically different from human males, but you were surprised at the amount, the sudden warmth making your head spin, making you wonder how it would feel when he came inside of you, in your cunt, in your mouth… 
Breathing heavily, Minho looked down at you, his eyes raking your form, covered in his seed, a flush settling all the way from his chest to his neck. Immediately, he was on you, kissing you deeply, mumbling words of ‘so, so pretty covered in my cum, so pretty…’ between pecks of his lips that had you flushing impossibly further.
Moving away from you, he took a hold of the first garment he could find, using it to wipe his cum off of your body, throwing somewhere right after only to finally plop down next to you, still panting a bit and staring at the ceiling. You did pretty much the same, lying there staring at the ceiling, but you did reach for his hand, interlocking your fingers with his, revelling in the way he held yours tightly in his, just as a comfortable silence fell between you two.
After a while, Minho spoke. “Did you mean it?”
You turned to him, looking at his side profile, looking at the relaxed expression on his face. “Mean what, baby?”
“Only ever wanted me?” Minho turned to you, with a soft smile on his lips, giving your hand a squeeze.
You felt yourself blush, but you smiled at him regardless. “Mm… Only you, baby”.
“Me too”, letting go of your hand, Minho pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly against his chest, and you could only melt into his embrace, inhaling deeply, basking in his presence. “I’m glad you came with us today. Was a bit worried at first, but now… Now I’m super glad you came, honestly…” He mumbled against your hair, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You’re just happy you got laid”, you were joking of course, teasing him a bit as you caressed his back.
Minho laughed at that, bringing a hand to your rear to fondle one of your buttcheeks. “Only ‘cause I got laid with you, dummy”.
Chuckling, you draped your leg over his hip, pushing on his shoulder to get him to lay down and for you to straddle him. Looking down at him, your hands dragged all the way from his shoulders to his pecks, squeezing him a bit before they continued their path to his abdomen, the motion bringing a smirk to Minho’s face. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
“What exactly? I said a lot of things, kitten”, Minho’s hands came to your waist, dragging all the way down after to fondle your hips.
“That you were gonna go harder later?”
“You do want me to ruin you, huh? Shameless”.
You chuckled, shuffling a bit so you could press yourself to his length, and your eyes went wide and your eyebrows rose high on your face. He was hard already, and the surprise must’ve been obvious on your face, because Minho simply shrugged, moving his hands to cup your bum. “You do smell so good, and the full moon is not making it any easier on me, cut me some slack”.
“Minho, babe, listen… And I mean this seriously. It’s important”, Minho went serious, looking at your face intently, giving you his undivided attention. “I need you to fuck me in every possible way you can and more, I’ve been waiting too long. If you don’t I might actually die”.
Minho scoffed, smirking as he tightened his hold on your rear, making you squeal with the sudden movement, with the strength of his hold. “Oh, kitten… Baby, you have no idea what you’ve just asked for. Good luck trying to stand up from this bed tomorrow when I’m done with you”.
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Author’s Notex2: if you’re curious as to why Chris looked like he’d just won Millionaire when he came down to the kitchen, you can check out Love is Easy.
if you want to read more of this couple, check out Dog Unleashed.
© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.
Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :)
Minho’s WereRoomies Instalments: Camping With Wolves · Dog Unleashed · Are You There, Wolf?
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bonaesperanza · 1 year ago
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Thalias from the Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy is how you do a female character with "traditionally feminine" virtues correctly.
The culture of the Ascendancy involves using young girls - the only Force sensitives their race has, since they all lose their Force sensitivity when they enter puberty - as ship navigators necessary to navigating the chaotic part of space that they live in. These girls are taken from their families at a young age and raised by a series of caregivers, and just like a bunch of plenty of carers IRL a lot of them are dogshit at their job. As someone who's worked similar jobs and watched other people work similar jobs, Timothy Zahn is BRILLIANT at portraying all of this - it gives me feelings like I can't describe. If you've ever seen a mean preschool teacher harranguing their charges or a shitty foster parent who doesn't treat their foster kids as individuals or anyone of the sort, you will feel this in your bones. Zahn goes hard on the "children are people" themes in this trilogy and I love love love this - it really means a lot to me to see a man known for his military and engineering competence porn stuff put so much thought and care into portraying caregiving as the important and complicated task that it is without coming off as sexist or patronizing towards it.
Anyway, Thalias is one such navigator, but even though most of them want nothing to do with the whole trauma-inducing system once they grow out of it, Thalias ends up returning as a caregiver and puts so much effort, compassion and logical thought into it that it makes me cry tears of joy. She draws on her own experiences but is quick to course correct when she realizes that Che'ri's experiences are different from her own (Thalias loved to read as a kid and still finds it comforting, Che'ri hates reading), she treats Che'ri with empathy and gives her as much autonomy and independence as she is allowed to. She uses a scientific method to figure out how the navigator powers work and adjust Che'ri's work routine accordingly - something no one has ever thought to do. She advocates for Che'ri with the rest of the ship's crew. She's amazing, and Zahn also makes sure to show how HARD it can be at times rather than just make her a perfect mind reader who always knows what her charge is thinking and what to say or do.
She's also kinda flawed - she seems to have an unhealthy obsession with Thrawn because he was once nice to her when she was a miserable kid in the throes of the shitty navigator system, and it comes off as kind of weird or cringe at times, and that's a GOOD thing in my book because it makes her character more 3D.
ALSO, the really nice part of it is that these books are filled to the brim with cool female characters that all feel really really different from each other, so Thalias being the nurturing, diplomatic type doesn't feel like Zahn sending some kind of message - the other prominent character is Ar'alani, a clever military woman who's a natural leader, excellent at handling her subordinates and recognizing their talents, excellent at handling politics even though she hates it, excellent at improvising on the fly, and also a kind and loyal friend. A lot of the other soldier or officer types are also women, and Zahn's other works also have a shitton of varied and cool women, so you feel safe in the knowledge that anything Thalias says or does is indicative of Thalias as an individual and not some vague idea of what women are like that the author has.
I also love how her character provides a contrast to all the "necessary evil" and "people are assets"-type thinking that a lot of the Ascendancy's more military types endorse (which make up a large percentage of the main cast, since this is mil scifi after all) - her conversation with Samakro about this is just chef's kiss to me. I feel like it's cool that we get this kind of POV because to me it serves as confirmation that Zahn knows what he's doing here - he's not being a stupid edgelord fanboy in love with the concept of doing shitty things for the greater good, he's just keenly observing how different people approach life and how all of these sorts of thinking are very useful in certain situations and deeply stupid in others. And the topic is treated with zero smugness - I've read things where similar arguments are used as a way of showing how wise and perfect one of the characters is and how stupid the other one is (coughvorkosigansagacough), but here everyone is treated with respect and empathy and consideration.
THALIAS SUPREMACY!!!
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months ago
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WIBTA for mentioning college again to my online friend, despite her telling me she knows it's not for her/not making a decision about it right now?
We both turned 18 this year, and are in our last years of highschool, and hopefully will both graduate this year! We met two years ago, and call and play games together sometimes, send each other selfies, share our silly crushes—she's the best girl friend I have right now and im very grateful for her.
Some info about me: both of my parents grew up very low income and from rough places and got full scholarships/a deal(like they pay for your college, and then you work for them after), because of this they're financially doing much better than both their families(my mother regularly sending money back home to pay for surgeries , bills, etc.). All of this is to say I've been raised with the mindset that higher education is my ticket to bettering my life, and I take school very seriously. I live in an area with a lot of immigrants, and all my friends do plan on going to college. Here is my disclaimer that I know college is *not* for everyone, and you do not need to go to college to be successful. But my friend is in the same stage in life as me, and I think it could be beneficial for her. She's not the best student at all(also home-schooled and does online schooling), but she's passing all her classes. We've talked about it before and I've asked if she's thought about college, and she said no because everyone in her family who went was just left with debt. Additionally she's not motivated in school now, so she doesn't think she would be motivated in college and would just end up as a "money dump". She's also talked about college with her mom, who said that she was only 18 and didn't need to make decisions about it right now. Right now her plan is to get a minimum wage job after high school(she's mentioned a fast food chain). I do think it would be good for her to get out of the house because right now she's basically stuck at home because her mom doesn't like going places. To my knowledge she has no friends irl, because of the homeschooling. Which is one of the reasons why I think college would be great for her--the chance to be with other people your own age.
We've only talked about college one time where I just asked, and after that I haven't mentioned it because I don't want to act like I have any say in her life decisions or make her feel bad. I've just been thinking about it lately because logically to me it seems like if she did want to go to college, now would be the best time because she would have the support of her online school where she has a counselor. Her mom didn't go to college and she isn't in regular contact with her dad.
For more context my family is middle class and I'm not sure what her financial situation is, but I do know comfortable but not deeply so. I would hate to bring up college if it's something she knows she cant afford( but long term I think going to college would help her make more money than any job she started now, which is why Im thinking about bringing it up again). I don't know if this is enough context, and I'm willing to provide more! I'll admit I'm not the smartest teen out there, so if you see any thing wrong with my thinking or think I'm a total asshole please tell me and I'll check my behavior. Im also keeping in mind her lack of motivation that she mentioned she had in school, and of course her mental health and wellbeing is of like. the utmost importance.
so, would I be the asshole for bringing up college with her again, despite knowing her situation? I really love this friend and the last thing I would want to do with her is be disrespectful and insensitive. thank you for very much, Tumblr! any advice you can give in the comments would be greatly appreciated.
What are these acronyms?
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thatsexcpisces · 2 years ago
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Astrology observations pt. 8
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🔅Disclaimer🔅: these are just my personal observations and things I’ve noticed and encountered, I’m not a professional astrologer!!
🧡Pluto/Mars-mercury people are likely to struggle with intrusive thoughts that could mostly be related to violence and inappropriate things done to others
🧡I feel like many Scorpio suns have a theme of “death” that stays in their life.
for example Scorpios in general may have lost a parent at a young age or suffer with the loss of family members. They may have lost a parent or even both during their teenage years due to an illness or lose people who are close to them.
🧡People with harsh mercury-ASC aspects or Virgo risings in harsh aspects can come off as “know-it-alls” or “well actually...” people
🧡Libra risings May have an obsession when it comes to collecting beauty products/self-care products or any expensive/fancy items and accessories. This is because taurus, a Venusian sign associated with luxury and indulgence, rules their 8th house of obsessive focuses and vice versa, they have Scorpio in their second house, amplifying the energy of having an attachment to material items.
🧡Aquarius moons have a closer/better relationship with their father than their mother
🧡Whenever you’re in a work or school-related environment, people are most likely to view your personality or see you as your mars sign. If you’re a Virgo/Capricorn Mars, you may have been the person in class that appears as hardworking or shy/quiet and stayed back from the crowd to do their own thing. If you’re a Leo Mars, people at work or school may see you as having a spontaneous personality or dramatic and also as someone very artistic and who likes to express themselves. Aquarius Mars can be seen as very opinionated.
🧡Gemini/Aquarius placements will make you feel like you can talk to them about the weirdest things or literally anything without feeling judged
🧡I feel like Leo and aries moons want to and always have this plan to try and hold grudges forever after they’ve been hurt because of how strongly Leo & aries moons feel their emotions, but they usually end up forgetting and hold one for max a few days until their emotions go through a different range and they focus on something else. (It depends on the situation tho because if really hurt, they can manage to hold one till death)
🧡A Sagittarius moon has such a prominent energy in someone’s birth chart. Even if the person has a stellium in another sign it’s like once they have a sag moon it takes over their whole personality. For example, someone can be a cap sun, mercury, rising, etc and you might expect them to show Capricorn traits and appear as “serious or hard working” but if they have that sag moon it’s like you’ll see then as a completely outgoing and bubbly person who’s always cracking jokes. Their humor and charisma is so contagious and it outshines everything.
🧡Aquarius placements might become certain types of doctors/scientists in a way that the job is related to using modern technology since they have the ability to be innovative
🧡mutable signs are likely to have ADHD
🧡water moons have these super vivid & intuitive dreams or usually the universe may try to send them messages or communicate with them through dreams. for example, a lot of my water moon friends tell me that they’ve had a dream of a person specifically telling them how they feel about them (my friend) and when they ask the person how they feel irl, they say the exact same thing as they said in their dream. Or whatever they dream of likely happens irl.
🧡saturn-ASC harsh aspects may come off as serious and not wanting to interact with others except people they’re close to
🧡 people with Virgo sun + libra mercury in a chart = talking absolute shit about you to others if they don’t like you but never saying it to your face (virgo is ruled by mercury and libra placements just tend to be passive aggressive in general since they’re afraid of open issues)
🧡Pisces risings are so ethereal and beautiful. even though it’s a rare rising sign to have I feel like they’re king easy to point out. It’s usually the people in the room who are always radiating warm energy and giving people hugs. They may also have a soft voice and appearance in general. Very sweet people!
🧡Capricorn mars hate when people try to automatically help them with something or do something for them without them asking for their help first
🧡Jupiter in the 11H individuals can attract friends easily or have a large friendgroup and abundance of friends
🧡I’m so jealous of how organized 6H stelliums and Virgo risings are. Yes, they might secretly not have shit under control, but they still manage to pull it off. I know a lot of people who have this and they always seem to have the perfect structured life with some sort of an organizer or to-do list and succeed in everything.
🧡I feel like no one talks about how jealous Leo moons/Venus or 5H stelliums can be. Sometimes even more than Scorpios. People with these placements are always constantly trying to be the best and everyone’s favorite, and as a result, they might try to “out-perform” and “look better” than the people around them. When they feel they are not receiving the recognition they deserve, especially from close friends and loved ones, they can spiral into unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some even get attached to people very fast and are the type to get angry and jealous easily if they see their friends and loved ones hanging out with someone else. They’re very possessive and hate feeling like they matter less compared to others. They thrive off validation so theyre the type to give you the silent treatment because you ignored them in some way.
🧡heavy Venusian placements in a chart can l be the type of people to actually ‘judge a book by its cover’. This doesn’t mean that these people don’t care to look at the inside and see the beauty, but they also do appreciate aesthetic and something that is pleasing to the eye or in a visual sense (for a very literal comparison: these are the types of people to be at a bookstore and put a book down because the cover isn’t pretty or it’s boring even if it might be a good book lol)
🧡gemini moons/risings are either super extroverted and outgoing or they barely speak and keep to themselves in social situations. There’s no in between
🧡Pluto in the 8H people might have ego issues and their ego can get in the way of making mature & responsible decisions
🧡moon in the 11H are so warm and loving towards their friends. These are the type of people who’s friends mean so much to them and they always make sure to keep their circle close and happy
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thegreatpapaya666 · 3 months ago
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I'M COMING OUT (a third time) I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW I GOT TO SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING (i forgot the words to the song lmao i heard it in trolls that one time)
hewwo bestie boos
so first i was like "hey y'all i'm pansexual yippee" and that was super fun
but then i got a bf and i was like "fuck this shit" and after a whole bunch of mental breakdances and introspection shit i was like "i'm pansexual and aromantic" so slay
and it was nice because when you're in the Gay Neurodivergent Theater Kid Friend Group™ when you tell your besties how gay you are all they do is laugh and make you a pride pin and doodle you doing shit corresponding to your sexuality (for instance when my bestie came out as ace we drew him throwing garlic bread at some badly drawn dicks it was a whole thing lol) and nobody really gives a shit besides for using the correct pronouns and lovingly making fun of your sexuality
but then i had even more mental breakdances and introspection shit and i was like "wtf??? i thought i maxxed out my gayness" (gay is an umbrella term here) and then i realized i'm ace. but then i was sorta kinda cornfuzzled (that means confused in papaya lingo) bc like how can i be aroace and pan? huh? and then i kept on thinking:
i experience some romantic attraction.
i experience some sexual attraction.
and when i do experience that (however rare it is), it can be for anybody regardless of gender.
so my bestie told me about oriented aroace where you're completely aro and completely ace and you feel the other kinds of attraction that aren't romantic or sexual toward a certain gender and feel like that fits your identity (feel free to correct me on any of this i suck at explaining things and i may have interpreted this badly)
and then there's also angled aroace which is basically the same thing except for aro-spec and ace-spec rather than 100% no romantic & sexual attraction
but my bestie also said that the dude who coined the term "oriented aroace" was sorta kinda gatekeeping and they didn't want grey aroaces invading their term and they weren't "real" aroaces or something whatever and it was super dumb and icky and I don't fully understand it
in conclusion: i think i like pan angled aroace! so I'm using that term now!
however, a lot of people really don't know what that term means. so i don't really know what to tell them cause i suck even more at explaining things irl than online. and i also don't know how to come out to my parents. but i also hate my mom so maybe she doesn't deserve to know. welp that's a conversation for another day.
so thanks for listening and bye bestiesssss <333
edit: i edited the title bc i forgot how to spell for a lil bit :c
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honeypleasejustkillme · 2 years ago
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hi :) for anyone new to my blog that doesn’t understand bpd and needs insight, i’m happy to explain..
so bpd is short for borderline personality disorder, a personality disorder that can cause unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. also known as (i say this because they did change it in the dsm-5 but no one in the community really likes it, some do but most prefer to use bpd since it’s well known) emotional unstable personality disorder (eupd) and emotional intensity disorder (eid). the symptoms on google are pretty simple sounding but they definitely aren’t irl.
google describes them as ‘emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships’ but it’s a lot more than that.
bpd can also cause feeling very worried about people abandoning you, (and trying very hard to stop that from happening), having intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days and can change quickly (such as feeling very happy and confident to suddenly feeling low and sad), feeling insecure about who you are, with your sense of self changing significantly depending on who you're with (“mirroring”), finding it really hard to make and keep stable relationships, and often viewing relationships as completely perfect or completely bad (black and white thinking, also known as “splitting” in the community), feeling empty a lot of the time, acting impulsively and doing things that could harm you, such as binge eating/eds, using drugs and alcohol, or driving dangerously, using self-harm to manage your feelings or feeling suicidal, feeling intense anger (which can be difficult to control), experiencing paranoia or dissociation in moments of extreme stress.. the list goes on…
but it’s basically like you feel like your running around in your own head to trying to find the right mask, expression, clothing, mannerisms to live up to some expectation of that role in your life whether it be a parent, sibling, friend, child,, but then when alone feeling like a faceless monster. just waiting for a cue from something to tell you what you are supposed to be at that moment… it’s a very complex disorder.
i’m so sorry this is so long but i truly love teaching people about my disorder and infodumping all of my knowledge onto people.. i hope you guys don’t mind :)
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wosieposiecozy · 5 months ago
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Finally got the balls to post this
Candybats rambles and HC and individual stuff. Turning these freaks into OCs fr
🦇🎀 Rambles under the cut bc talk of mental health, also note pink text is for things that are more personal to me/ based off my life. I project onto these freaks a whole lot, especially streber! The pink text range from silly to not so silly 🎀🦇
Enjoy!!!
-kevin is a nerd/freak, no way he's friends with Radford and isn't a nerd, bro def has a fixation on sonic the hedgehog but only owns 06 (he borrows other games from rad)
- streber is not an engineer but a theater prop maker, he enjoys the stage and probably was in a robotics club in college but engineering/ robotics was not something he wanted to go into directly. He dose prop commissions and is a teacher assistant at an elementary school.
-streber is great at math and calculations, but my boy can't read/spell well.
- streber likes to fidget with Kevin's hands
-kevin likes to just flop on top of streber. Streber likes the pressure. Kevin's like a cold weighted blanket, and streber is a heating pad.
- streber struggles with depression, it's been a year since Bob and while he's doing better, he struggles with not feeling anything sometimes, he's nervous on how his response to his trauma isn't like others. He kinda pretends it didn't happen and continues on, and only really thinks about it when he's alone at night. (Based on my own experiences with grieving a lost one)
- streber has mixed feelings about people who survived Bob, he never blamed them but he's just is extremely upset he couldn't get the same treatment from that monster. He stopped going to support groups and just dose 1 on 1 therapy.
- streber lived with his parents for a while after getting out of the hospital (the rats stayed with Leon 💪) , and kinda just wanted to rot in his bed, but eventually went to some sort of support. Mainly because of fears of going to the mental hospital (yes, again,based on irl experiences)
-streber refused to talk to news outlets regarding the incident.
- he fluctuates wanting to get a prosthetic arm to not wanting to.
-kevin is on depression and anxiety meds. (Literally hc he has the same as me, bro take them everyday or else bad shit happens!!! )
- Kevin doesn't talk about work when he's not at work, it makes him pissed, mainly because the most interesting thing is skid & pump, police, teens stealing, or killers/demons
- Kevin hates work and dose experience fear of "god, what I'm if I go into day and I die" but the anxiety of having to get a new job and change his norm over powers his fear of death.
- streber bites Kevin, like just a stress and comfort thing, Kevin is okay with it. Streber kinda bites his arm sometimes
- streber and Kevin rent out apartments, they don't live together.
-streber loves his rat children. We got Socrates🐀, motor oil🐀, and Mr. Girl🐀!!
- Kevin had a love at first sight kinda thing but didn't act on his feelings, mainly because he likes to get to know people first before asking them out and bc work has him in a choke hold.
- Kevin would like a pet cat but.... Work 😔
- they met because of Radford 💪 the real hero of spooky month's 18-30 year olds 🫡.
- streber became pretty good friends with Kevin at first then he fell for him, bro just loves cringe fail men (and women). Kevin was beefing with children, no way your gonna find a better boy failure /silly
- streber disassociates during slasher films. He still loves horror and Halloween as it was his comfort growing up, but Bob left a stain that will forever haunt him.
-streber's favorite horror movies are silent & psychological horror.
- Kevin isn't a huge fan of horror movies but he appreciates "Dave made a maze" & probably "Willard", he's like " Dave just like me fr!!!" (Go watch the movie, it free on Tubi 😎)
- both can't drive, streber takes the bus, Kevin takes his bike.
-I like to think they're both touch starved.
-kevin likes physical affection and wants to give it to streber but kinda forgets how to
-streber is very big on physical affection but isn't use to it
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- freak 4 freak
-insert Kevin is a fan of young Sheldon here-
🎀🦇 Oki rambles over 🦇🎀
If you liked it, that's kinda epic
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aro-culture-is · 3 months ago
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Hey, I’m still a minor but I’ve been really stressing about this lately. I really want to know if aromantic is the right label for me, since I previously identified as a bisexual.
I’ve, like, NEVER had a crush. I want to. I love romance novels, couples, the idea of romance. But then I talked to my friends and family and realized that what I thought was a crush just…wasn’t.
I didn’t feel butterflies, or nervous, or ANYTHING. I genuinely thought butterflies in your stomach was something that people made up, like getting nosebleeds when something is sexually implicit or shirtless ppl r shown (stupid, I know, but heteronormativity is really ingrained in me). I wasn’t even INTERESTED in the person. Examples, if it would help: first grade, I saw pretty boy, tried to play with him and followed him around at recess, looking back I just wanted a friend and he just happened to be attractive. Third grade, saw pretty boy, literally did not interact with him nor did I want to, but called him my crush bc I thought finding someone attractive=crush. My friend got with him, I wasn’t heartbroken and even tried to set them up and tried to tell them of the other’s feelings (despite the two of them being aware) like I was a little Cupid. Third grade pt 2, saw second most pretty boy imo (notice a theme here?) had dreams of both of my third grade crushes saving me from monkeys and I was a princess and they were in knight armor until the end where they’d take off the helmet n kiss me, but I had to consciously change the face after my friend got w the guy bc I felt bad. BUT I NEVER TALKED TO EITHER OF THEM????? Like, with pretty boy 3, let’s call him C, I didn’t really talk or try to get close with him or even was interested in him, same w the previous two. I thought I had fictional crushes on both boys and girls (hence the bisexuality identification) only to realize finding someone attractive=/= having a crush. And now I’m so confused and devastated????????
I am interested in both romance and sex, but I just don’t have crushes??? I know that, most likely, there is nothing wrong with me, like rationally, but I don’t feel that way???? I’ve always wanted a wedding n kids, but I’ve never imagined it with another person, like having a wedding n there being my partner. I always imagined going solo in my beautiful dress, never stopping to consider that a partner would be there. I also think I want kids, but that might be my parent’s pressures talking. My dad has also said that “there’s only one natural orientation” and says there’s nothing wrong with having a crush (I don’t think he realizes that I genuinely never had a crush) so I’m also really upset on that part. All I want to do is fit in socially, to make my parents happy, to do what I love, and have someone to love. I’m upset and confused and I took a quiz, twice, got cupioromantic, searched up the definition, realized it was me, got scared, so I’m just fishing for validation at this point. I hope I’m at least grey romantic, because I WANT to have romance, and be happy with one person. I don’t want to be a single cat lady (no hate if that’s you, keep slaying). I want someone to love me, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to love them back.
If you read this far, thanks, it means a lot.
So, I have a few thoughts after reading this, and I'm just gonna do my best to lay out some of them
All that introductory section about never having had a crush? Absolutely classic aromantic life story. Completely the sort of thing where if someone told me that IRL, my immediate thoughts would be "oh, they're probably aromantic", and "I want to let them know we're community in some fashion, and I get it."
Secondarily, on the note of finding someone attractive: folks so frequently discover their a-spec identities by starting with "I'm equally or similarly attracted to all genders, so I must be bi/pan/etc", and then get hit by the phenomena that 0=0. Also, aesthetic and sexual attraction are typically experienced quite differently - despite not being talked about as such, usually because it's not socially acceptable to talk about sex except when shaming others for interacting with the concept from any angle, including not wanting it. Yay society! (/sarcasm)
Next: yeah, cupioromantic absolutely fits what you've described so far. But I have some news for you: you can be aromantic and still have a wonderful, healthy romantic relationship with others. Some of the very, very early first followers of this blog - and i'm talking first 30 out of over 10k - have openly talked about being married as aro people to alloros for longer than I've run this blog. It's possible, it's been done, and if that works for you and any future partners, fantastic!
But. That said, I don't get the impression that your approach to this is coming from a place of necessarily wanting romance? I could absolutely be projecting, and that's on me, but between what your dad said and the desperation in your message, I have to wonder if what you want is a close, healthy relationship where you are able to feel safe discussing yourself, where you feel like your emotions are validated, and you can engage in a kind and mutually open hearted way. And y'know? Especially as a minor, that can be so hard to handle. You deserve to be listened to, for your feelings to be validated, and to know that who you are is as natural as anything.
Side note. natural is such a cop-out word. Speaking as someone in a multidisciplinary STEM field: natural means it happens. Not 'is the norm', not 'comes from plants', not 'works exactly the same way every time'. Consider the platypus is a natural creature, despite being a wild abomination of every 'normal' trait it could fit in its weird little body. Consider that even in humans, sex is not a dichotomy and for the most part, sex is a socially defined set of characteristics. Consider how many birds and fish have 4 or more sexes. Consider the fungi, weep, and learn that defining them by sex is an absolute nightmare of thousands of possible sexes and matches and honestly, what even??? Consider that even if we only look at similarly sexed creatures to us, dolphins, penguins, so many birds, octopuses, dogs, spiders, cats, and more that I can't name in the literal 10 seconds I spent on that list, engage in clear same-sex sexual and romantic bonding. You ever seen a boy dog just jump anything that exists? I don't think Fido gives a shit about "natural orientations". Unless he can eat it and poop it out, and eat that. (/affectionate)
Some final thoughts: you will be okay. Being a minor is so incredibly hard, and the more you grow into adulthood, the more clear it becomes that literally everyone is following all sorts of rules that they learned once upon a time because it's hard to change the system, hard to change your thoughts, and not because it ever made sense to follow those rules. The idea that two people have to love the same way to enjoy each other is bullshit. The idea that you can't just experience all sorts of weird things, even though the human brain is among the most complicated things known to science and does so much we'll never live to know, is wild.
You will be okay. Everything will get better, and I believe you. Teen years are a lovely blend of the worst and best decisions you'll ever make because your brain and body are doing some phenomenally complicated things, and society said "hey, what if we shove all of them into an institution because labor laws say we can't put them in the mines anymore?", and this is understandably a really terrible idea. Promise you, the tigers and lions in the average zoo get better enrichment than teens seem to be allowed.
The longer you have to experience the world and its weird and inconsistent ways, the more you learn to just... be. You don't have to question it every step of the way. Maybe you do get a crush. Maybe you don't. Maybe you find yourself being visited by the cat adoption fairy, and oops, there's another, and suddenly there's several creatures who bring you warmth - and maybe being a crazy cat lady is for you. Adulthood is weird, just to be honest. This has actually happened to several people I know. So many "oops I have a cat now? help?" messages.
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doritochoi · 1 year ago
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The Model | K.H
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pairing: kim hongjoong x reader
genre: non-idol!au, smut
warning: unprotected sex(dont do that irl), fingering, hongjoong likes your pxssy so much so he eats it like a whole meal,public sex.
word count: 1,7k
summary: Taking photos of hongjoong and end up doing it with him on the couch.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT THIS IS 18+
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Being a famous photographer isn't that hard, is it? Until you meet the sexiest model who wants you.
It was a rainy day. Your schedule was full, but you got used to it because you were a famous photographer. Everyone wanted to work with you, so you were invited to take their pictures to a fashion show. You took a taxi and while you were looking at different events on your phone, you arrived at the place.
When you arrived, the event still had 20 minutes to start, so you arrived on time.You were walking around, when you saw your friend Wooyoung. You and him went to the same school when you were little and your parents were very good friends. Now Wooyoung was a very popular model. He had a lot of friends.
"Hey Y/n", he looked at me confused, as if he didn't expect me to be here."Hello Woo!",you said and then you hugged him tight."Wow I thought you were too busy to come here". "Well... I was also invited and I accepted". "Let me introduce you to my friends, come!", he took your hand and dragged you in a group of people. His friends admired you a lot because they knew you. They even wanted to take pictures with you. While you were discussing, that big wooden door opened. It was a man. The man that you wanted to see in person but you couldn't because you and him are very busy. Kim Hongjoong. He was known as the most popular model in Seoul and the ambassador of Chanel. If you told Wooyoung that you collected all his magazines, he probably wouldn't believe you or maybe he would tell him somehow. It was your little secret. His hair was wet and had some strands that hung on his forehead making him look so fucking attractive. His plump lips were so juicy. What did they taste like? White chocolate? Your fav. You bet there was nothing under that suit. Only his muscular body. Well, you were a huge fan. You knew he never wore anything underneath, and now it was really visible. You stared at him for 5 minutes, and Woo already notices something strange about you. He was looking in the direction you were looking and he saw that you were staring at Hongjoong. Perfect. "Want me to call him to come here?", he smirked saying this to you on purpose because he already knew whats on your mind. "Wait,no-"
And that was it. Wooyoung signaled him to come. The way he moved his hips, made your legs felt like jelly. For real. There he was, in front of you. The man that you dreamed, was staying so close to you that he could hear your heart beat. Woo hit your elbow meaning that he wanted to leave you alone with him "Thank me later",he winked at you, then he disappeared . "Hello Miss Y/n", he took your hand to kiss it and you blush a little. "It's a pleasure to meet you here."
The way his sweet and calm voice sounded like music to your ears. He could make you kneel in front of him and you wouldn't mind." I actually came here for you", "For me? Why?". This time he was looking into your eyes. You could see his caramel eyes analyzing your features. "I want you to take pictures for me for my new magazine". Was it a dream for you? "I'm glad to hear that. Let me show you a room."
You guided him to the room. You started setting up your equipment and Hongjoong just stared at you. He was posing in different positions. Of course he was good at that. It was his job after all. After you took so many pictures of him ,you wanted to take photos with your new camera that you bought a week ago. "Im so happy, i wanted to use this camera, and now you're the first one!",you began to turn on the camera but hongjoong said something that stopped your actions. "Can i use you instead?".
Now his voice was so deep.He wasn't the Hongjoong that you know.He looks dominant now..."Huh? Excuse me-". He attached his lips on yours,biting your lower lip making it to bleed. He tried to put his tongue in your mouth, but you didn't give him access, so he put his hand between your legs, making you scream, having the opportunity to put his tongue in. He stopped looking into your eyes."Why aren't you a model? You look stunning." You were frozed. Kim Hongjoong kissed you and said that you look stunning."Don't hide from me,babygirl. I've seen how you've been looking at me since I came and I know you want me as much as I do." ."Wait..the fashion show will began..".
The fashion show was about to start and you were in a room with the man you wanted to lay your hands on for years. ''Fuck, i dont care about that now. Fix my problem.". You knew exactly what he was talking about. Your eyes goes down and looked how his big cock was desperate for your attention. "Nah its too early to touch this. Let me do my work and don't move." Your luck was that you could have sex on a sofa there. The problem was that many people came and the door couldn't be locked, so you had to be quick. Hongjoong took off his suit, remaining only in his boxers. You stared at his body. You wanted so badly to get your hands on him. He pushed you onto the couch, t hen you felt his warm breath against your neck as he started to slowly kiss you there. You started to move a bit giving him more space to place his kisses on you. He starts applying wet kisses all over your body, feeling your big and bouncy boobs. "Fuck, i love you hard nipples, darling". His hands were massaging your boobs through that transparent shirt. You moan when he ripped your shirt and when he started to play with them gently. Then he pulled your legs up, looking at you like you were a piece of art . Your pussy was dripping and he barely did something. "Already wet? But i didnt even begin". Your skirt and panties were on the floor and now you were completely naked in front of him. Your were naked in front of Him Hongjoong. What a good view he had. One of the best views. You wanted to say something but he started to lick your pussy and sucking your clit. You throw you head back and Hongjoong took the chance to push two fingers into your pussy while his other hand was squeezing your boob. This action made you moan his name louder and louder. "Good girl, show everyone who is fucking you this good". His fingers fastened and he felt your walls contracting thats when he pulls out stealing a very good orgasm from you. You really wanted to say something but only you can do just moan his name over and over again. He removed his boxers and his cock was BIG . His tip was red and filled with precum. "Does it fit me?", you were kinda exicited,but you knew its gonna hurt. " I don't know baby, lets see" He pushed his huge cock inside you feeling how he was in your stomach. You thought his cock was one of the biggest you've seen, well... you haven't seen that much, but it was huge. He started slamming inside of you wanting to make both of you orgasm. "Come on baby, cum for me". The orgasm was strong that made you to see stars. When you came back from your sense, you looked down between your legs and you could see that Hongjoong isn't done with you. He began to apply kisses on your pussy then he licked it, having cum on his lips. Then he came to your face kissing you feeling how wet his lips were. "Do we have time for something else?",you said that smirking at him. "Something like what,doll?".
You got up, and took hongjoong's belt from the floor and tied his hands behind his back. "Watch and don't move." Those were your last words and your eyes were looking at his cock almost begging to be sucked. You wrapped your hand around his lenght, hearing moans from Hongjoong voice. You started with small kisses, Hongjoong throwing his head back. You love when you see him trying to control himself. He cursed your name. "Just like that...keep going". His eyes never left you as you continued to suck him off. You were about to deepthroat the man suddenly a knock on the door was heard. Shit. You were in a room with the most famous model. Yes. You were both naked. Yes. You were giving him a blow job. Yes. What a beautiful day. "W-wait im coming", you got dressed faster than ever, your make-up was ruined. But that doesn't matter anymore. "Here, go and hide somewhere.",you gave him his clothes that were on the floor, then he hides behind the couch.
At the door was none other than Wooyoung. He's been looking for you for 2 hours. "Finally you are here! Where did you go? The fashion show is over. And where is Hongjoong?, he tried to look around the room, but you were in front of him, blocking his view. "U-um he didn't feel very well so he went home." Actually that lie worked and wooyoung left . Hongjoong came and grabbed your waist. "So now im sick?". "Look, maybe we should leave without being seen and pretend we didn't know each other." Hongjoong was confused. He looked at you, not believing what you were saying. "I don't give up so easily. Lets go on a date." He took your hand and took you out of that room not caring that there were so many people who could look at you two. You passed among people unnoticed but someone's voice stops you. "Joong? Y/n? Weren't you sick?" He was looking at the two of you holding hands. "Huh, whats going on here?" he pointed his hand towards your hands and looked closely at Hongjoong because he was sweaty. "We had sex nothing much." "Oh, wait WHAT". After that, you and Hongjoong ran away and got into his car. "Joong, I wasnt done with you." He didnt say nothing, just looking at you. "Okay".
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@ateezreactionsandscenarios @sanhwalvr
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