#and not near enough faith in the universe - or myself

[freepassbound]

10. What are your future plans?

13. All of pets you’ve ever had

22. Your plans for summer

26. What language do you want to learn?

41. Are you happy with where you live?

✨✨✨ please and thank you 😁

10. What are your future plans?

I really don't know. This past year in the new teaching job was really stressful, and if next year is anything like that... well, I don't know that I want to continue with this job. It seems like I could pivot to tutoring full-time without much of a problem - but that carries all kinds of disadvantages around insurance and taxes, and it is more uncertain.

13. All of pets you’ve ever had

Three dogs: one who preceded me and passed when I was literally a toddler (so I don't really remember them); one from when I was in middle school to college, a beagle who would run off after anything; and one from my mid-20s to late-30s, a black lab mutt who loved snuggling and who also wound up absorbing a lot of our neuroses.

22. Your plans for summer

I have nothing concrete; right now I'm just slowly trying to set right all the stuff that went sideways during my bad spell last month. I'm doing some tutoring, I'll probably try to sneak in a short vacation or two, and getting the house sorted has been a checklist item for... seven-and-a-half years now. Nothing remarkable.

26. What language do you want to learn?

French has always been top of the list, even if the original reason isn't valid anymore. I don't suppose I'd change it as the choice, though.

41. Are you happy with where you live?

Hmm. I think it might be more accurate to say that I'm very attached to where I live? I suppose I'm happy enough - I've never seriously imagined living elsewhere (and at this point I almost certainly don't have the financial means to move).

I value my community, and I try to help it out with my work and my custom; I like knowing where everything is, and having long-time favorites.

On a tighter scale, I think it's a pretty nice house, in a reasonably good spot. I wish I could feel comfortable going for a walk or a bike, but the road is too busy and not designed for that (in my opinion). The yard is a source of stress because I don't trust myself with plants and I hate cutting things down - but it's also very nice at the same time, as I get deer stopping by, plus a nice variety of birds, and rabbits, possums... used to get turkeys, but I haven't seen any in a long while.

[pascaloverx]

Moonlight

Summary: You and Edward Cullen used to have a romantic relationship. But fate seemed not to believe in the possibility of a vampire and a potential she-wolf being together. Years after your separation, you return to Forks. Edward is committed to Bella Swan, and Jacob Black has his own pack. What happens when, upon your return, you begin to transform into a she-wolf and both Edward and Jacob seem eager to revisit the past with you?

Author's Note: The characters in this fanfic do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight universe. The story blends events that happened in the Twilight saga movies with invented ones. If you're enjoying the fanfic, please interact. Comments and kudos are welcome. This story will contain inappropriate language, a possible love triangle, scenes of violence, and romance.

THREE FIVE

FOUR

Your madness should be studied. It's foolishness to go to the Cullens' house to check on Edward. You might end up seeing his girlfriend, which would be awkward. They might not appreciate seeing you. Uley could find out you went there and curse you for generations. But now, lying in bed with Jacob beside you, you're worried about Cullen. In fact, a part of your younger self is nervous about having transformed in front of Edward. Your wolf form only emerged after you left Forks.

"There's something troubling your mind. Don't worry about denying it. Just tell me what it is," Jacob whispers near your ear while you think he's asleep. You're sleeping spooned together, with him as the big spoon and you as the little one.

"I need to do something you won't like. And honestly, I don't want to tell you what it is. I just want you to support me even without knowing. Like a good pack leader," you say, turning to look at him. His eyes open to meet yours. You kiss him on the cheek, hoping to make him more receptive to understanding you.

"I'm not your leader. And I'm not your boyfriend either. As your lover, I'd recommend you not go after any vampire. But as a friend, I support you. You know you can count on me if Sam decides to scold you, even though he's not your leader either," Jacob says, apprehensive yet respectful.

"I didn't know I was your lover. But I want to lean on the side of you that's my friend. If something happens, I need you to not let anyone come after me. Not even you. Can you do that for me?" You ask, kissing Jacob softly on the corner of his mouth, then on his lips.

"You have more faith in my ability to be your bodyguard than I do. But consider it done. I'll keep any wolf away from you. Including myself. I hope you'll reward me for that," Jacob says, kissing your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You playfully hit his arm as if disapproving of what he said.

"You're such a flirt. But for now, you don't need to worry. Finding vampires at night is always more advisable," you say, shifting against Jacob's chest as if he were a pillow and you wanted to snuggle closer.

The rest of your day is quite peaceful. You visited Sam's pack, spending the afternoon surrounded by wolves who dislike wearing shirts because they're too hot, and their respective loved ones. In truth, you wonder if you'll ever experience an imprinting. Will you ever feel that powerful bond with Edward or Jacob? Or worse, what if it happens with someone you haven't met yet?

Before you know it, it's late enough to go check on Edward. Just to make sure he's okay. You say goodbye to the pack and before heading off, you glance at Jacob, who surprisingly behaved well during the visit to Sam's pack this time. Perhaps he knows that being near Sam's pack could allow him to intervene if something goes wrong.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show up here," Rosalie says, approaching you. She never liked you, and now that you've transformed into a wolf, she probably despises you even more.

"Easy, Rosalie. I'm not your sister-in-law anymore. No need for all this aggression," you respond sarcastically. She doesn't seem to like it, as moments later, she throws you against a tree using her vampire powers. You push her back, but before either of you can do anything else, half of the Cullen family surrounds you both.

“Rosalie, you can’t attack Y/N. I'm sorry about her temper." Esme says as she helps Rosalie up from the floor. You're still catching the breath you lost when Rosalie attacked you.

“Y/N, it’s always good to see you. You are as lovely as I remember. Isn't it Jasper?" Alice asks Jasper as he walks over to hug you. Emmett takes Rosalie inside while others watch you.

"You look great." Jasper says looking at you without much excitement while Alice still seems excited. Until you notice that you are bleeding from the corner of your mouth. Maybe this is making Jasper uncomfortable.

"We were in the middle of dinner. Want to eat with us?" Carlisle gently extends his arms towards the entrance of the Cullen's house. But you know the only way they could be eating food would be if Bella was with them.

"I don't think Rosalie would like that. But thank you for the invitation. Maybe I can come next time." You say regretting having gone there. It was a mistake trying to see your ex who should have left your mind a long time ago.

"Honey, we'll all be waiting for you. Until then, we promise to talk to Rosalie about her bad behavior." Esme says and you think it's cute that she thinks she can make Rosalie control her hatred for you.

"You will come back. Your story isn't over yet." Alice speaks sweetly while holding your hand. You deduce that she is foreseeing this but you don't understand how your story isn't over yet. I mean, you and Edward don't mean anything to each other anymore. Right?

"I think that's unlikely to be true but I've learned not to doubt you, Alice." You say as you hold her hand back gently, she smiles softly. Jasper then nods towards Alice and she goes with him into the house.

"I think you came to see me." Edward speaks while using his vampiric speed to get close to you quickly. Carlisle and Esme seem to feel the tension of Edward's presence around you and leave.

"I just came to make sure you're okay. Which I see you are, so if you'll excuse me." You speak while keeping a certain distance from him. Your feet are walking the path back to Jacob's house when you feel something come towards you. Not something, someone. Edward holds you firmly against a tree.

"Is this obsession with throwing people against trees a vampire thing?" You question looking at him. But his eyes seem to wander over you.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a wolf now?" Edward looks a little angry and at the same time conflicted about something. You will see your face looking at the other trees before you can look at him.

"It was none of your business. It's still none of your business. But I know how much it must make you hate me now." You say a little angrily, as if you realize that now you are like a natural enemy of the man you loved.

"Nothing in this world, would make me hate you." Edward speaks with such convection and you look at him, shaking your head. He can't be serious.

"Take it back. You can't say that to me. Not when you're involved with someone else and I..." You say remembering Jacob. Even though you are not a couple, you like each other in a certain way.

"Is he better than me?" Edward asks, getting close to your face, as if he intoxicates you with his presence alone.

"Maybe he is. He's not in inappropriate proximity with me while dating someone else." Your face comes even closer to Edward's face. Your breathing becomes uneven as the tension between you increases. Edward looks at you one last time before getting lost in your lips. The shock of feeling his mouth on yours makes you hold his hair tight. The kiss, however, is a mixture of lust and hunger. His lip is still sore but it doesn't matter. Edward is probably tasting your blood as he tastes your mouth. He's thirsty and so are you. By reversing the positions, you throws Edward's body into the tree you were leaning against.

"I'll tell her. About you, about us." Edward speaks while his mouth is pressed against yours. You don't know what to say, You just know that it means something to you. If not, your heart wouldn't be beating so hard.

"She's going to hate you for this." You whisper still against his mouth. Your kiss now feels like a declaration of a real feeling.

"I can't pretend this is nothing. You and I know there's something between us. Passion, lust, feelings. Whatever you want to call it." Edward murmurs, leaning his forehead against yours.

"I need to leave." You say looking into Edward's eyes.He runs his fingers over your face one last time before letting you walk away without saying anything else.

[rad-hound]

Do you have any headcanons on House Sr?

Certainly! In truth, I haven't given House Sr. much thought until creating this post, combined with receiving this ask in my inbox. But, after a moment of consideration — or several — I've finally conjured up enough ideas to better equip myself to answer your question.

Here are a few of my headcanons for House Sr.:

House Sr. resembles American musician John Paul Larkin, also known as "Scatman John":

I feel this is self-explanatory in its own rite. Given that House Sr.'s son, Mr. House, resembles the late Howard Hughes in both design and with regard to Hughes's quirks, having his father also resemble a late celebrity figure feels suitable. That and, despite also believing that Robert House is near-identical to his father in appearance and demeanor, it would leave much to be desired if I were to say that both Mr. House and his father resemble Howard Hughes.

Unlike Mr. House, House Sr. was a nepotism baby:

Given the very little information we know about House Sr., other than the fact that he and Robert's mother perished in an autogyro accident, I wholesale believe that for generations before his death, the House family reveled in infinitely-regenerating wealth. As such, he wasn't tasked to "pull himself up by his bootstraps," nor did he experience difficulty in seeking employment or housing. (Heh.) In fact, I firmly believe he was one of few House descendants to rely solely on an inherited allowance to survive, rather than becoming a monster of industry, and wholly intended to raise his offspring as he himself was raised.

One could easily argue that Mr. House was intended to be a nepotism baby, given that House Sr. left him money to inherit in his will, in the event of his death. However, Mr. House was orphaned at a young age and the allowance his father intended for him never saw the light of day, due to his half-brother's legal interference. So no, Mr. House isn't a nepotism baby. If anything, his half-brother, Anthony, is a nepotism baby.

House Sr. disliked Las Vegas, however bought land nearby it with the intention of taking advantage of the financial traffic the casinos attracted:

I enjoy entertaining the thought that at some point, House Sr. intended to buy — or already bought — scrupulous amounts of land near Las Vegas with the intention of having vacation houses built, seeing as I also believe he was equally as much of a sleazeball as his son would become. But, at some point, halted the project altogether, with the hope of reserving some of the money he'd intended for it to be reallocated to his future children, instead.

Seeing as Anthony House was only ever interested in the money House Sr. left to his descendants in his will, I like to imagine House Sr. leased all the empty properties he'd bought to Robert House, who later utilized said properties to expand his enterprise; one such expansion being House Resort, located just outside of then-Las Vegas.

Given House Sr.'s implied sleaziness, Mr. House has many half-siblings he'll never know once existed:

This concept is more grim than the prior headcanons, in my opinion. With the existence of Anthony House as Robert's half-brother, it can only be parsed that their father slept around quite a bit, and was faithful to no singular woman. As a result, I think that House Sr. has more offspring than the game states — or more than House Sr., Robert House or Anthony House know exist, if we are to remove the game's established canon from the perspectives of these characters as they exist in the Fallout universe.

How is that grim, you ask? Well, given the fact that Robert and his half-brother, Anthony, were on less-than-friendly terms with one another, perhaps he'd have forged better relationships with his other siblings, were they to exist. But, in the wake of the Great War of 2077, this possibility would never be realized. I feel it adds an extra layer of solitude to Mr. House's already-desolate existence.

When I think of more, I'll be sure to reblog this post with additions. But for now, this is all I've been able to come up with. Feel free to reblog this post with your own additions, if you'd like, as I'm curious as to what other people think of House Sr.

Thank you, @harryarmis34, for the ask! c:

[weaselbeaselpants]

Gotta be honest with myself

Reading Lorch's sockpuppet account with all of her comments getting any degree of likes made me physically ill.

The ones where she comments on Lily Orchard critics being all abusive stalkers were what I came to see and those delivered, but it was the many MANY comments she made about Rebecca Sugar, Lindsay Ellis, Contrapoints and Sarah Z that hurt -and I genuinely feel weak for saying that out loud.

OBVIOUSLY IT'S OKAY TO NOT LIKE THESE CREATORS OR STEVEN UNIVERSE OKAY GUYS?

I still think what Natalie said regarding Gaza was bad and she should feel bad; I still think the Diamonds plot could have been done better; I'm not going to demand people with legit gripes towards Sarah Z and Lindsay Ellis just 'get over it'- I could go full throttle into these topics but I'm already getting worked up as it is and should be working on actually important stuff instead; but HOLY FUG

The things Lily says about these women and Rebecca. Just...just jesus Christ. It makes me mad because if my above disclaimer didn't make it obvious enough, there are really important discussions to be had in here and Lily only cares about wanking these talking points for her own gain.

She is infuriating. Her saying Lindsay was ass for "hating Moana" (SHE LITERALLY DIDN'T; SHE DID THE BARE MINIMUM IN TWO VIDEOS PRAISING MOANA SAYING THAT, WHETHER SHE LIKED IT OR NOT MOANA IS APPROPRIATION WHICH IS TRUE) and how that Ellis' "siding" of Sarah Zed over HER, that really got me bothered and it got me bothered because of how twisted the narrative she's making here is.

So, when Lindsay Ellis makes the mistake of not mentioning the racism in Twilight or possibly talking over indigenous peoples and other bipoc in general: *silence*, But when Lindsay Ellis just says "no matter if you like it or not this is still a form of appropriation", SUDDENLY THAT'S an insult is it?

She is the epitome of "bad faith actor can bring up a good take ... and use it to further their objectives".

The way Lily just calls writers OBJECTIVELY "lazy" also pisses me off. I hate it when critics who are really badly worded/guided say this kind of thing.

I think I've just really matured a lot in what I look for with a critic but even if it's something I hate I'm not going to like it if your criticism truly has nothing neat or new or provacative to say.

If you start and end your entire rant on Hazbin Hotel with: "VivziePop's problem is she's over-indulgent and juvinile and her designs suck" I'm not going to listen to that anywhere near as much as: "TO ME- VivziePop is so hyperfixated on what she wants for the characters and stories that she's not actually paying attention to how her writing actually comes off in the moment, which really hurts her characters and stories and gives them the opposite affect".

And then, if you suddenly say "VivziePop's problem is she's over-indulgent and juvinile and her designs suck ALSO I heard she didn't let this sweet innocent girl whoisn'tmeIswear 'fix' her show for her!!"- I'm NOT interested in your take. I can make my own take of go elsewhere. That's it. That's what it's like listening to Lorch go off like she does in analysis vids- she's just whiny, reiterates but doesn't believe in or value the important takes she hears for her own purpose, and then comes out of nowhere with some asinine and borderline slanderous crap that REALLY IS just her own vendetta's talking. . . and not a day goes by that I don't think about how that's probably what VivziePop herself was interested in with Lily's thumbnail and then couldn't make it through the video herself.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

A Wise Pair of Fools: A Retelling of “The Farmer’s Clever Daughter”

For the Four Loves Fairy Tale Challenge at @inklings-challenge.

Faith

I wish you could have known my husband when he was a young man. How you would have laughed at him! He was so wonderfully pompous—oh, you’d have no idea unless you’d seen him then. He’s weathered beautifully, but back then, his beauty was bright and new, all bronze and ebony. He tried to pretend he didn’t care for personal appearances, but you could tell he felt his beauty. How could a man not be proud when he looked like one of creation’s freshly polished masterpieces every time he stepped out among his dirty, sweaty peasantry?

But his pride in his face was nothing compared to the pride he felt over his mind. He was clever, even then, and he knew it. He’d grown up with an army of nursemaids to exclaim, “What a clever boy!” over every mildly witty observation he made. He’d been tutored by some of the greatest scholars on the continent, attended the great universities, traveled further than most people think the world extends. He could converse like a native in fifteen living languages and at least three dead ones.

And books! Never a man like him for reading! His library was nothing to what it is now, of course, but he was making a heroic start. Always a book in his hand, written by some dusty old man who never said in plain language what he could dress up in words that brought four times the work to some lucky printer. Every second breath he took came out as a quotation. It fairly baffled his poor servants—I’m certain to this day some of them assume Plato and Socrates were college friends of his.

Well, at any rate, take a man like that—beautiful and over-educated—and make him king over an entire nation—however small—before he turns twenty-five, and you’ve united all earthly blessings into one impossibly arrogant being.

Unfortunately, Alistair’s pomposity didn’t keep him properly aloof in his palace. He’d picked up an idea from one of his old books that he should be like one of the judge-kings of old, walking out among his people to pass judgment on their problems, giving the inferior masses the benefit of all his twenty-four years of wisdom. It’s all right to have a royal patron, but he was so patronizing. Just as if we were all children and he was our benevolent father. It wasn’t strange to see him walking through the markets or looking over the fields—he always managed to look like he floated a step or two above the common ground the rest of us walked on—and we heard stories upon stories of his judgments. He was decisive, opinionated. Always thought he had a better way of doing things. Was always thinking two and ten and twelve steps ahead until a poor man’s head would be spinning from all the ways the king found to see through him. Half the time, I wasn’t sure whether to fear the man or laugh at him. I usually laughed.

So then you can see how the story of the mortar—what do you mean you’ve never heard it? You could hear it ten times a night in any tavern in the country. I tell it myself at least once a week! Everyone in the palace is sick to death of it!

Oh, this is going to be a treat! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a fresh audience?

It happened like this. It was spring of the year I turned twenty-one. Father plowed up a field that had lain fallow for some years, with some new-fangled deep-cutting plow that our book-learned king had inflicted upon a peasantry that was baffled by his scientific talk. Father was plowing near a river when he uncovered a mortar made of solid gold. You know, a mortar—the thing with the pestle, for grinding things up. Don’t ask me why on earth a goldsmith would make such a thing—the world’s full of men with too much money and not enough sense, and housefuls of servants willing to take too-valuable trinkets off their hands. Someone decades ago had swiped this one and apparently found my father’s farm so good a hiding place that they forgot to come back for it.

Anyhow, my father, like the good tenant he was, understood that as he’d found a treasure on the king’s land, the right thing to do was to give it to the king. He was all aglow with his noble purpose, ready to rush to the palace at first light to do his duty by his liege lord.

I hope you can see the flaw in his plan. A man like Alistair, certain of his own cleverness, careful never to be outwitted by his peasantry? Come to a man like that with a solid gold mortar, and his first question’s going to be…?

That’s right. “Where’s the pestle?”

I tried to tell Father as much, but he—dear, sweet, innocent man—saw only his simple duty and went forth to fulfill it. He trotted into the king’s throne room—it was his public day—all smiles and eagerness.

Alistair took one look at him and saw a peasant tickled to death that he was pulling a fast one on the king—giving up half the king’s rightful treasure in the hopes of keeping the other half and getting a fat reward besides.

Alistair tore into my father—his tongue was much sharper then—taking his argument to pieces until Father half-believed he had hidden away the pestle somewhere, probably after stealing both pieces himself. In his confusion, Father looked even guiltier, and Alistair ordered his guard to drag Father off to the dungeons until they could arrange a proper hearing—and, inevitably, a hanging.

As they dragged him to his doom, my father had the good sense to say one coherent phrase, loud enough for the entire palace to hear. “If only I had listened to my daughter!”

Alistair, for all his brains, hadn’t expected him to say something like that. He had Father brought before him, and questioned him until he learned the whole story of how I’d urged Father to bury the mortar again and not say a word about it, so as to prevent this very scene from occurring.

About five minutes after that, I knocked over a butter churn when four soldiers burst into my father’s farmhouse and demanded I go with them to the castle. I made them clean up the mess, then put on my best dress and did up my hair—in those days, it was thick and golden, and fell to my ankles when unbound—and after traveling to the castle, I went, trembling, up the aisle of the throne room.

Alistair had made an effort that morning to look extra handsome and extra kingly. He still has robes like those, all purple and gold, but the way they set off his black hair and sharp cheekbones that day—I’ve never seen anything like it. He looked half-divine, the spirit of judgment in human form. At the moment, I didn’t feel like laughing at him.

Looming on his throne, he asked me, “Is it true that you advised this man to hide the king’s rightful property from him?” (Alistair hates it when I imitate his voice—but isn’t it a good impression?)

I said yes, it was true, and Alistair asked me why I’d done such a thing, and I said I had known this disaster would result, and he asked how I knew, and I said (and I think it’s quite good), that this is what happens when you have a king who’s too clever to be anything but stupid.

Naturally, Alistair didn’t like that answer a bit, but I’d gotten on a roll, and it was my turn to give him a good tongue-lashing. What kind of king did he think he was, who could look at a man as sweet and honest as my father and suspect him of a crime? Alistair was so busy trying to see hidden lies that he couldn’t see the truth in front of his face. So determined not to be made a fool of that he was making himself into one. If he persisted in suspecting everyone who tried to do him a good turn, no one would be willing to do much of anything for him. And so on and so forth.

You might be surprised at my boldness, but I had come into that room not expecting to leave it without a rope around my neck, so I intended to speak my mind while I had the chance. The strangest thing was that Alistair listened, and as he listened, he lost some of that righteous arrogance until he looked almost human. And the end of it all was that he apologized to me!

Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather at that! I didn’t faint, but I came darn close. That arrogant, determined young king, admitting to a simple farmer’s daughter that he’d been wrong?

He did more than admit it—he made amends. He let Father keep the mortar, and then bought it from him at its full value. Then he gifted Father the farm where we lived, making us outright landowners. After the close of the day’s hearings, he even invited us to supper with him, and I found that King Alistair wasn’t a half-bad conversational partner. Some of those books he read sounded almost interesting.

For a year after that, Alistair kept finding excuses to come by the farm. He would check on Father’s progress and baffle him with advice. We ran into each other in the street so often that I began to expect it wasn’t mere chance. We’d talk books, and farming, and sharpen our wits on each other. We’d do wordplay, puzzles, tongue-twisters. A game, but somehow, I always thought, some strange sort of test.

Would you believe, even his proposal was a riddle? Yes, an actual riddle! One spring morning, I came across Alistair on a corner of my father's land, and he got down on one knee, confessed his love for me, and set me a riddle. He had the audacity to look into the face of the woman he loved—me!—and tell me that if I wanted to accept his proposal, I would come to him at his palace, not walking and not riding, not naked and not dressed, not on the road and not off it.

Do you know, I think he actually intended to stump me with it? For all his claim to love me, he looked forward to baffling me! He looked so sure of himself—as if all his book-learning couldn’t be beat by just a bit of common sense.

If I’d really been smart, I suppose I’d have run in the other direction, but, oh, I wanted to beat him so badly. I spent about half a minute solving the riddle and then went off to make my preparations.

The next morning, I came to the castle just like he asked. Neither walking nor riding—I tied myself to the old farm mule and let him half-drag me. Neither on the road nor off it—only one foot dragging in a wheel rut at the end. Neither naked nor dressed—merely wrapped in a fishing net. Oh, don’t look so shocked! There was so much rope around me that you could see less skin than I’m showing now.

If I’d hoped to disappoint Alistair, well, I was disappointed. He radiated joy. I’d never seen him truly smile before that moment—it was incandescent delight. He swept me in his arms, gave me a kiss without a hint of calculation in it, then had me taken off to be properly dressed, and we were married within a week.

It was a wonderful marriage. We got along beautifully—at least until the next time I outwitted him. But I won’t bore you with that story again—

You don’t know that one either? Where have you been hiding yourself?

Oh, I couldn’t possibly tell you that one. Not if it’s your first time. It’s much better the way Alistair tells it.

What time is it?

Perfect! He’s in his library just now. Go there and ask him to tell you the whole thing.

Yes, right now! What are you waiting for?

Alistair

Faith told you all that, did she? And sent you to me for the rest? That woman! It’s just like her! She thinks I have nothing better to do than sit around all day and gossip about our courtship!

Where are you going? I never said I wouldn’t tell the story! Honestly, does no one have brains these days? Sit down!

Yes, yes, anywhere you like. One chair’s as good as another—I built this room for comfort. Do you take tea? I can ring for a tray—the story tends to run long.

Well, I’ll ring for the usual, and you can help yourself to whatever you like.

I’m sure Faith has given you a colorful picture of what I was like as a young man, and she’s not totally inaccurate. I’d had wealth and power and too much education thrown on me far too young, and I thought my blessings made me better than other men. My own father had been the type of man who could be fooled by every silver-tongued charlatan in the land, so I was sensitive and suspicious, determined to never let another man outwit me.

When Faith came to her father’s defense, it was like my entire self came crumbling down. Suddenly, I wasn’t the wise king; I was a cruel and foolish boy—but Faith made me want to be better. That day was the start of my fascination with her, and my courtship started in earnest not long after.

The riddle? Yes, I can see how that would be confusing. Faith tends to skip over the explanations there. A riddle’s an odd proposal, but I thought it was brilliant at the time, and I still think it wasn’t totally wrong-headed. I wasn’t just finding a wife, you see, but a queen. Riddles have a long history in royal courtships. I spent weeks laboring over mine. I had some idea of a symbolic proposal—each element indicating how she’d straddle two worlds to be with me. But more than that, I wanted to see if Faith could move beyond binary thinking—look beyond two opposites to see the third option between. Kings and queens have to do that more often than you’d think…

No, I’m sorry, it is a bit dull, isn’t it? I guess there’s a reason Faith skips over the explanations.

So to return to the point: no matter what Faith tells you, I always intended for her to solve the riddle. I wouldn’t have married her if she hadn’t—but I wouldn’t have asked if I’d had the least doubt she’d succeed. The moment she came up that road was the most ridiculous spectacle you’d ever hope to see, but I had never known such ecstasy. She’d solved every piece of my riddle, in just the way I’d intended. She understood my mind and gained my heart. Oh, it was glorious.

Those first weeks of marriage were glorious, too. You’d think it’d be an adjustment, turning a farmer’s daughter into a queen, but it was like Faith had been born to the role. Manners are just a set of rules, and Faith has a sharp mind for memorization, and it’s not as though we’re a large kingdom or a very formal court. She had a good mind for politics, and was always willing to listen and learn. I was immensely proud of myself for finding and catching the perfect wife.

You’re smarter than I was—you can see where I was going wrong. But back then, I didn’t see a cloud in the sky of our perfect happiness until the storm struck.

It seemed like such a small thing at the time. I was looking over the fields of some nearby villages—farming innovations were my chief interest at the time. There were so many fascinating developments in those days. I’ve an entire shelf full of texts if you’re interested—

The story, yes. My apologies. The offer still stands.

Anyway, I was out in the fields, and it was well past the midday hour. I was starving, and more than a little overheated, so we were on our way to a local inn for a bit of food and rest. Just as I was at my most irritable, these farmers’ wives show up, shrilly demanding judgment in a case of theirs. I’d become known for making those on-the-spot decisions. I’d thought it was an efficient use of government resources—as long as I was out with the people, I could save them the trouble of complicated procedures with the courts—but I’d never regretted taking up the practice as heartily as I did in this moment.

The case was like this: one farmer’s horse had recently given birth, and the foal had wandered away from its mother and onto the neighbor’s property, where it laid down underneath an ox that was at pasture, and the second farmer thought this gave him a right to keep it. There were questions of fences and boundaries and who-owed-who for different trades going back at least a couple of decades—those women were determined to bring every past grievance to light in settling this case.

Well, it didn’t take long for me to lose what little patience I had. I snapped at both women and told them that my decision was that the foal could very well stay where it was.

Not my most reasoned decision, but it wasn’t totally baseless. I had common law going back centuries that supported such a ruling. Possession is nine-tenths of the law and all. It wasn't as though a single foal was worth so much fuss. I went off to my meal and thought that was the end of it.

I’d forgotten all about it by the time I returned to the same village the next week. My man and I were crossing the bridge leading into the town when we found the road covered by a fishing net. An old man sat by the side of the road, shaking and casting the net just as if he were laying it out for a catch.

“What do you think you’re doing, obstructing a public road like this?” I asked him.

The man smiled genially at me and replied, “Fishing, majesty.”

I thought perhaps the man had a touch of sunstroke, so I was really rather kind when I explained to him how impossible it was to catch fish in the roadway.

The man just replied, “It’s no more impossible than an ox giving birth to a foal, majesty.”

He said it like he’d been coached, and it didn’t take long for me to learn that my wife was behind it all. The farmer’s wife who’d lost the foal had come to Faith for help, and my wife had advised the farmer to make the scene I’d described.

Oh, was I livid! Instead of coming to me in private to discuss her concerns about the ruling, Faith had made a public spectacle of me. She encouraged my own subjects to mock me! This was what came of making a farm girl into a queen! She’d live in my house and wear my jewels, and all the time she was laughing up her sleeve at me while she incited my citizens to insurrection! Before long, none of my subjects would respect me. I’d lose my crown, and the kingdom would fall to pieces—

I worked myself into a fine frenzy, thinking such things. At the time, I thought myself perfectly reasonable. I had identified a threat to the kingdom’s stability, and I would deal with it. The moment I came home, I found Faith and declared that the marriage was dissolved. “If you prefer to side with the farmers against your own husband,” I told her, “you can go back to your father’s house and live with them!”

It was quite the tantrum. I’m proud to say I’ve never done anything so shameful since.

To my surprise, Faith took it all silently. None of the fire that she showed in defending her father against me. Faith had this way, back then, where she could look at a man and make him feel like an utter fool. At that moment, she made me feel like a monster. I was already beginning to regret what I was doing, but it was buried under so much anger that I barely realized it, and my pride wouldn’t allow me to back down so easily from another decision.

After I said my piece, Faith quietly asked if she was to leave the palace with nothing.

I couldn’t reverse what I’d decided, but I could soften it a bit.

“You may take one keepsake,” I told her. “Take the one thing you love best from our chambers.”

I thought I was clever to make the stipulation. Knowing Faith, she’d have found some way to move the entire palace and count it as a single item. I had no doubt she’d take the most expensive and inconvenient thing she could, but there was nothing in that set of rooms I couldn’t afford to lose.

Or so I thought. No doubt you’re beginning to see that Faith always gets the upper hand in a battle of wits.

I kept my distance that evening—let myself stew in resentment so I couldn’t regret what I’d done. I kept to my library—not this one, the little one upstairs in our suite—trying to distract myself with all manner of books, and getting frustrated when I found I wanted to share pieces of them with Faith. I was downright relieved when a maid came by with a tea tray. I drank my usual three cups so quickly I barely tasted them—and I passed out atop my desk five minutes later.

Yes, Faith had arranged for the tea—and she’d drugged me!

I came to in the pink light of early dawn, my head feeling like it had been run over by a military caravan. My wits were never as slow as they were that morning. I laid stupidly for what felt like hours, wondering why my bed was so narrow and lumpy, and why the walls of the room were so rough and bare, and why those infernal birds were screaming half an inch from my open window.

By the time I had enough strength to sit up, I could see that I was in the bedroom of a farmer’s cottage. Faith was standing by the window, looking out at the sunrise, wearing the dress she’d worn the first day I met her. Her hair was unbound, tumbling in golden waves all the way to her ankles. My heart leapt at the sight—her hair was one of the wonders of the world in those days, and I was so glad to see her when I felt so ill—until I remembered the events of the previous day, and was too confused and ashamed to have room for any other thoughts or feelings.

“Faith?” I asked. “Why are you here? Where am I?”

“My father’s home,” Faith replied, her eyes downcast—I think it’s the only time in her life she was ever bashful. “You told me I could take the one thing I loved best.”

Can I explain to you how my heart leapt at those words? There had never been a mind or a heart like my wife’s! It was like the moment she’d come to save her father—she made me feel a fool and feel glad for the reminder. I’d made the same mistake both times—let my head get in the way of my heart. She never made that mistake, thank heaven, and it saved us both.

Do you have something you want to add, Faith, darling? Don’t pretend I can’t see you lurking in the stacks and laughing at me! I’ll get as sappy as I like! If you think you can do it better, come out in the open and finish this story properly!

Faith

You tell it so beautifully, my darling fool boy, but if you insist—

I was forever grateful Dinah took that tea to Alistair. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen the loophole in his words—I was so afraid he’d see my ploy coming and stop me. But his wits were so blessedly dull that day. It was like outwitting a child.

When at last he came to, I was terrified. He had cast me out because I’d outwitted him, and now here I was again, thinking another clever trick would make everything well.

Fortunately, Alistair was marvelous—saw my meaning in an instant. Sometimes he can be almost clever.

After that, what’s there to tell? We made up our quarrel, and then some. Alistair brought me back to the palace in high honors—it was wonderful, the way he praised me and took so much blame on himself.

(You were really rather too hard on yourself, darling—I’d done more than enough to make any man rightfully angry. Taking you to Father’s house was my chance to apologize.)

Alistair paid the farmer for the loss of his foal, paid for the mending of the fence that had led to the trouble in the first place, and straightened out the legal tangles that had the neighbors at each others’ throats.

After that, things returned much to the way they’d been before, except that Alistair was careful never to think himself into such troubles again. We’ve gotten older, and I hope wiser, and between our quarrels and our reconciliations, we’ve grown into quite the wise pair of lovestruck fools. Take heed from it, whenever you marry—it’s good to have a clever spouse, but make sure you have one who’s willing to be the fool every once in a while.

Trust me. It works out for the best.

[aizawashuichi]

For the ask game!

🎶 Because I saw your posts on the songs lawn coded and I'm curious!

💖

✅

Hi!!

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Okay, so I will do a mini Lawn playlist that isn't too spoilery + a part for three songs that screams Lawn. Mainly the vibe of their relationship at the beginning.

Conan Gray - Astronomy

NF - RUNNING

[ I love you but not / Enough to allow you to continue to / Drown the both of us, you're / Holdin' me back, you're pullin' me down / You're makin' me hate myself, I / Don't wanna leave, but that's what I need / I ain't got a choice, I can't just / Let you deceive and make me believe / That I don't deserve to be loved (ayy), I / Am not gonna stand aside and watch you / Attempt to rob and steal and sabotage / What little faith I have left, yeah / Haven't I sacrificed enough for you? ]

5SOS - Close As Strangers

Big Time Rush - Worldwide (💀)

Conan Gray - The Cut That Always Bleeds

Gracie Abrams - Mess it Up

[ How could I think that all that I gave you was enough? / 'Cause every time I get too close, I just go mess it up / I keep thinking maybe if you let me back in / We can make it better, breaking every habit / Pull myself together, you could watch it happen / Let it happen, let it happen ]

Rio Romeo - Nothing's new

[ I want to be close to you / But I don't know what to do / 'Cause if we are near to through / We may make it worse / And if I start to grieve / 'Cause it feels you're 'bout to leave / Forgive me, I'm not naive / I've been here before / So, won't you please spare me indignity? / And won't you please give me some decency? / And won't you please call it if our time is through? / 'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new ]

💖 What made you start writing?

Self-insert. Plain and simple. I wanted to live in the same universe as my favourite character of when I was 11/12 and used writing to make that come true. After a few months, I fell in love with creating whole ass characters that had nothing to do with me, so moved on to OCs, but self-insert was the first driving force.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Queer french OCs, especially mlm - I have like three of them: Fly, Faust and Corky 😭 Seriously, though. I don't know what i add unintentionally. I tend to plan a lot, so lmao.

Thank you so much for asking!!!

[ask game]

[reedsofintimacy]

How smart are you? You’ve given some hints before but how many degrees do you have? What are you studying? What do you want to do in live professionally and passionately? What’s your purpose career wise?

Also hypothetically would you be open to being your wives employee if she had a really successful company?

I actually don't have any degrees! I'm a nerd and smart but also certainly have my flaws.

For context, I was an honors student all growing up. Always tested in the 99th percentile for state aptitude assessments. I got a 33 on my ACT, did well on a bunch of AP tests and went to a non-ivy-league but prestiguous state school in the top 25% of the incoming class and as a university scholar, in an accelerated chemistry PhD program, and lived in an honors community on campus.

I learned to speak some Chinese, became an instructor for a traditional Korean percussion group, led a bible study, tutored students in organic chemistry, and did excellent in my humanities courses writing on topics like a linguistic study of gender conception in viking-era icelandic society and designing an interventional plan to address youth homelessness in the community.

College was the best 2 years of my life, I adored everything about it but I also completely overloaded myself. Turns out you need more than raw brains for success. I was conflicted between prioritizing my studies vs my faith, and had unadressed adhd and anxiety i wasnt ever aware of and didnt know how to cope with. When my 19 credit hours were drowning me, I couldnt own up to the shame of overwhelm and failure, couldnt look my teachers in the eye and ultimately stopped showing up to class and dropped out.

I'm now back in school with a better understanding of myself, an absense of competing priorities and a lot of experience. Im pursuing working in Radiology doing either CT or MRI. A lot of my friends growing up are finishing their PhD theses and I love discussing them with them, but I myself don't have even an associate's to my name.

Career wise, I originally wanted to be a professor of either Chemistry or Materials Science. I debated majoring in Linguistics or teaching English as a second language but i don't speak anything fluent enough to really do that yet. I've since considered pursuing a career in comedy, as a science communicator and journalist or PIO, as a university student advisor, and taught myself to code to maybe pursue programming.

I love learning. Currently I'm putting the most effort into Chinese classical literature. I've done personal units on nutrition, skincare, fitness, urban planning, economics, and some software like adobe illustrator and game dev with Unity and Godot.

For my professional future, I think I'm for now planning on being a travelling technician in healthcare. It'd give me an opportunity to see lots of different places which is a goal of mine and shouldn't have too many commitments keeping me held in place. Maybe I'll finally get over my fear of casual hookups and become a traveling nurse by day and city-to-city clit servicer by night sampling all sorts of delicious lady bits. Idk. For now I'm just focused on what I'm doing in the moment.

In terms of passions I want time and independence to pursue learning as an autodidact. I'd love to maintain access to university libraries and attend lots of public lectures and symposiums if i could live near enough a big university. I want to read about the things that interest me and someday get over my social anxiety and travel to make friends all over the world with fellow nerds.

In terms of working for my wife of course that would be really sexy I'd love to be my partners doting but slutty assistant 💕 depending on the industry i guess. I think something like insurance or real estate is kind of predatory tbh and wouldnt want to be associated with it. But if I didn't have an issue with it I'd adore being my partners employee. Or even just a supportive house husband or trusted personal assistant ❤️❤️ a role i've always thought I have the potential to be quite good at

[nefelibatat]

She-Ra's abuse narrative: fail or prevail?

So you might have heard about this cartoon called She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. And if you've heard about that, then you've definitely heard about Сatradora — an enemies-to-lovers ship between two women who must overcome their traumatic childhood to find love in each other, widely popular among fans and beloved by the showrunner ND/Nate Stevenson. His decision to canonize the couple in the final season was met with near universal acclaim, being compared to the likes of Korrasami (The Legend of Korra, 2014) and Bubbline (Adventure Time, 2018) in terms of queer subtext finally made text.

That could be the end of it, but then you wouldn't be reading this.

We’re here right now to talk about a real sore spot that never fails to incite berserker rage in the fandom: the question of abuse. It’s pretty much the main topic of the entire show, so naturally the romance that capped it off would have something to say about that. The catch is, people can’t agree on what it did say. Depending on who you ask, the union of Catra and Adora is either a perfect conclusion to a story of healing that proves abuse victims deserve to be loved, or it's a slap in the face of those same victims that sacrifices the story's core values to appease the shippers. Abuse and shipping being issues that people are famously not chill about, the debates on the matter can get nasty.

I have a lot of thoughts about it myself and I desperately wanna put them all down somewhere so they stop bouncing around in my head like a DVD screensaver. Thus I present you a detailed breakdown of the way She-Ra and the Princesses of Power handles abuse as a theme in context of Catra and Adora’s relationship. Take a sip of water every time you read “abuse” for a week's worth of hydration.

A few disclaimers before I go to town:

As you can probably tell by now, this is not light reading. I wanted to cover everything I could think of, and the line between exhaustive and exhausting begins to blur when you have this much to work with.

Though I didn't feel like getting a psychology degree for the sake of this meta, I researched the topic and provided my sources, so all the information here should be accurate.

Healthy discussion is welcome, but I reserve the right to ignore anyone acting aggressively or in bad faith.

With that out of the way, we can finally start…

Defining the subject

What even is this “abuse” thing people keep going on about? It’s sometimes characterized as any action that intentionally harms or injures another person — such is the phrasing you’ll find at the Free Dictionary, for example. But that’s… broad, and covers anything from soldiers fighting in war to someone tripping you on the sidewalk. I’ve turned to more specialized sources, namely: The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, National Domestic Violence Hotline, Love Is Respect, and Healthline. They all say more or less the same thing, which we’ll put down as follows:

Abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to maintain power and control over another in an interpersonal relationship.

The key word is “control”. While abuse comes in many different types and kinds and forms, it is always a metaphorical leash that allows the abuser to feel powerful at the expense of someone else. This is something you need to understand before you can answer the question of…

How She-Ra and the Princesses of Power writes abusers

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, henceforth SatPoP, is aaaall about abuse. What it looks like, how people respond to it, why it even happens, etc. Most major antagonists in the show are abusive, and if you examine them closely enough, you could parse out something like an abuser formula. My theory goes that every abuser in the show does three specific things that, when taken together, are a dead giveaway to their role in the narrative. Here's why:

So first, we’ve established that the lynchpin of abuse is control. Not coincidentally, this is a word that crops up very often in SatPoP's dialogue, starting with this pithy phrase.

Madame Razz: “Wicked people destroy what they cannot control.” (Razz, 1:3)

The wicked people in question is the Horde. The Horde cannot be literally abusive because it’s not a person, but it is a toxic, exploitative force that tries to dominate everything around it and leaves only misery in its wake. The allegory is hard to miss. And when we do meet the Horde personified, his last decision is to try and destroy what he cannot control, so this line is both a long-reaching foreshadowing and a thesis statement for the entire show. Later (or earlier?…), this exchange takes place.

Mara: “I need the Sword to control She-Ra’s magic. That’s what my superiors always told me.” Madame Razz: “Ha-ha! She-Ra was here long before your people arrived. You cannot control magic! Magic simply is.” (Hero, 4:9)

Here's a clear juxtaposition: the First Ones — you know, the greedy colonizers who take advantage of idealistic young women — posit control as the key towards true power, but Madame Razz — the Iroh wise old mentor character — rejects this idea. She gives Mara a better advice rooted in actually connecting with the world around her instead of subduing it to her will, as demonstrated by their encounter with the boar-thing. The idea of rejecting control shows up a couple of times since as a rebuttal to tyranny and oppression.

Adora: “I won’t be controlled.” (Destiny II, 4:13)

Entrapta: “You can’t control us!” (Heart II, 5:13)

Thusly, we can claim that control in the show is more or less synonymous with abuse, except for a few cases where it’s not directed towards other people. Put a pin in this for now. Also, I'm sorry if “control” doesn't sound like a word anymore.

The second point deals with fantastic exaggeration. One of the ways to create exciting conflict in fiction is to upscale a more ordinary, familiar situation. If you’re trying to portray a heated argument? Turn it into a swordfight. If you’re trying to portray chronic illness? Turn it into a magical curse. If you’re trying to portray puberty? Turn it into a spider mutation! This approach allows you to crank up the tension while keeping the core emotional struggle easy for the audience to grasp and identify with. As a magical girl comedy drama, SatPoP makes full use of this method to explore complex themes in fantasy setting. Adora struggles with anxiety and pressure that many “gifted children” can relate to, except her concerns are less about getting good grades and more about saving the universe from an evil intergalactic army. Glimmer has trouble coming to terms with the grief of losing a loved one, except the consequence of that is nearly being killed by a giant monster. Peel back the hyperbole and you’re left with these very real, grounded problems. Then suppose you’re trying to broach the subject of abuse in a way that fits the high stakes of your story. What would be its logical extreme? I mean… nothing says control like literal mind control. Brainwashing is the most dramatic way of conveying the message that anyone who seeks to have complete power over another will end up robbing them of personhood. Take out another pin here.

Now since SatPoP is ultimately meant to have an uplifting tone, the forces of evil have to be defeated in the end. A victim becomes a victor by reclaiming control, or in other words, going against their abuser’s rhetoric. Like this.

Shadow Weaver: “You’ve learned nothing from me!” Catra: “I’ve learned everything from you! How to predict when you’ll strike, how to dodge, how to resist! You thought you were punishing me all these years? Wrong. You were training me for this day!” (Light Hope, 1:12)

Horde Prime: “Did you hear me, little brother? Do it now.” Hordak: “I am not your brother. You made me in your image, but I am more than that. I gave myself a name; I made a life of my own; I made… a friend. I am Hordak, and I defy your will!” (Heart II, 5:13)

Beyond just fighting back, they challenge a specific negative belief about themselves that the abuser wants to impose — that Catra is incapable, that Hordak is nothing but an extension of his maker — and get narratively rewarded for it. The majority of these epic denial speeches fall to Adora though. Protagonist privileges.

From all this we can derive three checkpoints. Every abuser in the show…

✔ Is described as controlling ✔ Attempts to violate someone’s free will through supernatural means ✔ Has the tables turned on them at a point of near-victory through their victim's affirmation of self-worth

Otherwise known as the three Cs: control, compel, and contradict. To prove the existence of this pattern, we’ll start with the trendsetter herself — Shadow Weaver. Pointed out as a control freak?

Shadow Weaver (disguised as Catra): “Shadow Weaver controls us both. She always has.” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

For sure. Tries to brainwash someone?

Shadow Weaver: “You are correct, Adora; you shall stay willingly. Because I am going to wipe your mind. You’ll have no memory of She-Ra or the time you spent with the Rebellion— Everything will be as it once was! As for the Princess, once I’m done, you’ll be happy to have her as your prisoner.” (No Princess Left Behind, 1:9)

Definitely. Told off by Adora?

Adora: “You never loved me. You just played your twisted mind games. I’m none of the things that you say I am. I’m not like you. You are bitter, and cruel, and you’re the one who used me! This is who I am. You hurt my friends. So now you’re gonna pay. […] I’m not going back. You have no power over me anymore!” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

Hell yes! Not in this exact order, but with all these elements present. Try it with the First Ones now. Control:

Entrapta: “So the First Ones made the Sword to control [She-Ra]. To use her.” (Destiny I, 4:12)

Compel:

Entrapta: “Once the planet is balanced, no one can stop it. Not even the First Ones could control it — that’s why they left! When the weapon is activated, it will channel all its power into you. You don’t get to refuse.” (Destiny I, 4:12)

Contradict:

Adora: “I won’t be controlled. I am not a piece of their machine. I am not a weapon. And I’m going to end. this. now!” (Destiny II, 4:13)

And lastly, Horde Prime.

Catra: “Horde Prime is taking control of Etheria!” (Taking Control, 5:6)

Horde Prime: “I made her anew. I saw her mind — so ensnared in rage and grief and pain. So I brought her to the light.” (Save the Cat, 5:5)

Adora: “No. You’re wrong. It’s time for you to go.” (Heart II, 5:13)

There you have it: three checkpoints, three abusers… and four acts.

Thing is, SatPoP can be divided into chunks of thirteen episodes, each signifying a different period in the story and having its own subplot. That’s the four act structure. It would’ve been four seasons too if someone hadn’t decided to do what Voltron: Legendary Defender did before and release content in smaller batches, leaving Act Two cleft in twain. Given that every abuser we’ve reviewed so far had their to-do list ticked off in a single act — consider this an extra checkpoint on itself, really — that leaves a conspicuous gap.

Is there a character who's marked as controlling, who tries to force someone’s hand using magic, who gets put in their place by Adora after failing to break her, and who accomplishes all that in Act Two?

Catra: “Are you kidding? I’ve got control of Adora; I am not giving that up.” (White Out, 2:5)

Catra: “As long as we have this Sword, we have the power to make her go berserk. We can turn the Rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s good. I wonder which of your friends I’ll have you annihilate first.” (White Out, 2:5)

Adora: “No, it’s not [my fault]! I didn’t make you pull the switch. I didn’t make you do anything! I didn’t break the world. But I am gonna fix it. And you? You made your choice. Now live with it!” (The Portal, 3:6)

Fits like a puzzle piece. What were the odds? But wait! There’s more!

Visual cues

A visual cue is essentially a shorthand that serves to draw the audience’s attention towards something without being heavy-handed about it or taking up a lot of time. Here’s a few examples of how it can be done: We’ve all watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, right? Then you probably remember how that show emphasizes different sides of Zuko’s face depending on the phase of his character development. His scar is emblematic of his father’s abuse, so putting it front and center is a clear indicator that he’s acting from a place of hurt. Another story that puts a lot of accent on abusive dynamics is Tangled (2010). Here mother Gothel is shown being overly affectionate with Rapunzel’s hair, in contrast to Eugene pushing the hair away so he can see more of her face. Since the hair in question has cool magical powers, you can deduce just from that which character cares about her as a whole person and which one only values her for the parts they can use.

SatPoP does not fall behind in the abuse-related imagery department. I’ll start with the cheek touch, since the show uses this one a lot. …like, a lot a lot.

Shadow Weaver practically owns the cheek touch, though Horde Prime’s never been deterred by things already belonging to someone else. It can be roughly sorted into two varieties: the “nice” and the “mean”. “Nice” means the abuser is hiding behind a veneer of benevolence and leveraging the victim’s deepest desires in exchange for obedience. Adora yearns to prove herself, so Shadow Weaver allows her the opportunity. Catra yearns to be loved, so Shadow Weaver gives her a taste of that. Glimmer yearns to save her people — well what do you know, Shadow Weaver can help here too! It’s giving “I will grant you whatever you want, but only as long as you behave”.

Then there’s the “mean” variety, when all masks are off except for the literal one. If in previous examples the victim either had the option to refuse or just didn’t mind, then this time the parties are in open conflict, and the abuser blatantly flaunts the fact that they’re in a position of power by forcing their victim to experience unwanted physical contact. It’s giving “I will take whatever I want from you, and there’s nothing you can do about that”.

And Catra hasn’t only been on the receiving end of this message.

Which brings us to these proxy cheek touches. What Double Trouble and Horde Prime have in common is that they understand Catra — whether it’s because they’ve peered into every nook and cranny of her mind or because they’re just that good. Therefore they know what the dynamic between her and Adora is like, and they act on that knowledge by making Catra cup her cheek. Why? While “to tease her about her crush” is a popular interpretation for… obvious reasons, this reading ignores larger context. Sure, in any other show this kind of touch might've been prime shipping fuel, but in SatPoP’s language it nearly always translates to manipulation and power play. Double Trouble says “you pushed her away”; the gesture adds “by making her feel lesser”. Horde Prime says “you can’t save her”; the gesture adds “remember what happened when you tried”.

But hold on a sec, why “nearly” always?

One exception is Angella. She’s not quite playing by the rules here, and the reason is simple: cheek touch, like I said, is as good as trademarked by Shadow Weaver, and Angella is the resident anti-Shadow Weaver. Her foil, if we’re being technical. Both are military leaders who also happen to be mothers, but where Shadow Weaver puts the “mentor” in “tormentor” despite an occasional maternal impulse, Angella is deeply caring beneath her coldness and strict attitude. Them being associated with the same visual motif makes the contrast stand out even more. Notice that both times Angella puts her hand on someone’s cheek it’s in the moment of choosing people’s needs over her own desires. She wants Glimmer to be safe and out of the battlefield, but knows her daughter would never rest easy if she wasn’t helping her friends. She wants to stay with the husband she hasn’t seen in years, but understands that her duty lies elsewhere. Angella’s affection is selfless, and that, more than anything else, is what sets her apart from Shadow Weaver. A few more examples are in Season 5’s section. If you have any pins left, this would be a good place for one.

For now we move on to electricity, an element favored by three of our not-so-fantastic four.

Catra: “Pretty good, huh? I got the idea from Shadow Weaver. At least she was good for something in the end.” (Flutterina, 4:3)

This might be a reference to Avatar: The Last Airbender, where lightning was used as an abuse metaphor. ATLA is a rather obvious inspiration for the show so it’s entirely plausible. Electrocution also has the benefit of being a non-gorey method of torture, allowing for some surprising brutality without technically breaking the age restrictions. Of course, just like the cheek touch, it does have exceptions. But instead of selflessness vs selfishness, the deciding factor here is protection vs punishment. That’s where Adora, Glimmer, and Scorpia differ from Shadow Weaver, Catra, and Horde Prime, even though all of these characters electrocute someone at some point.

The next and last recurring motif is perspective. You know how abusers tend to look down on their victims? Well, SatPoP took that a bit literally.

Not content with just being very tall, Shadow Weaver likes to up the intimidation factor by appearing as this great looming figure. It’s a good graphic representation of how abusers make themselves feel bigger and stronger than they actually are by making others feel small.

Catra seems to dig the angle too.

She’s often keeping Adora beneath her, whether it’s by following Obi-Wan’s example and getting the high ground or making her fall on the ground.

The Portal in particular puts Adora through this ordeal more times than is strictly necessary, but it does help emphasize the eventual reversal: Adora is now the one standing above Catra in a moment of payback and catharsis. They can’t be on an equal level because Catra doesn’t see Adora as an equal and balance can only be maintained through mutual effort. After Adora realizes that, she puts herself in a position where Catra won’t be able to bring her down anymore — literally or figuratively.

So at this point you must have spotted something of a running theme: Catra is a copycat-ra. Unfortunately for everyone, her role model is the second worst person alive who tried really hard to be the first and only lost by a couple of genocides. The similarities between them are everywhere but they're at their most in-your-face obvious in The Portal. Again. Seriously, this episode is competing with White Out for who can scream “Catra is abusive!” the loudest.

It’s not hard to get what sort of feelings the interactions between Shadow Weaver and her wards are trying to inspire in you. Sympathy, because they're hurt and scared and vulnerable. Disgust, because Shadow Weaver is treating someone like dirt just to feel a sense of superiority. Horror, because this is a far too real scenario. Then the show deliberately takes these skin-crawling, nausea-inducing incidents of abuse and re-enacts them between Catra and Adora.

Why should they be perceived differently now?

The framing didn’t change. Adora is not any less terrified and Catra is not any less terrifying. If you weren’t supposed to view their relationship as abusive, then whoever storyboarded these scenes should’ve gotten fired faster than you can say “Eternia”.

This so far has only been about narrative devices, not real-life tactics, but worry not: there’s plenty to be said about that. Starting with…

Verbal abuse

For all the talk about sticks and stones, verbal abuse remains one of the most effective tools in abuser’s toolbox. Defined as “the use of hurtful language to assert control” and often synonymous with emotional abuse, it encompasses a wide range of behaviors, from straightforward insults to subtle condescension. Like all types of abuse, it’s a recurring pattern that exists within an interpersonal relationship, which is what sets it apart from just calling someone a poopyhead. While words cannot indeed break your bones, they might do something worse than that — break your spirit. The hows and whys of it come down to one word: familiarity. See, people are weirdly eager to believe stuff they’ve heard multiple times, even when they already knew it’s false. This bizarre quirk of our brains is called illusory truth effect. Other fancy science terms like mere-exposure effect and schema work on a similar principle. So if continuous reinforcement is this good at drilling stuff into your head, and the thing that's being continuously reinforced is how bad you are… The result is that verbal abuse erodes self-esteem in much the same way water erodes stone. You don’t see the damage as it’s happening; in fact it’s hard to believe that something as insubstantial as water could damage solid rocks at all. But it does. Drop by drop, word by word.

Shadow Weaver: “Insolent child. I’ve come expect such disgraceful behavior from you, but I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well. You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me.” (Promise, 1:11)

Shadow Weaver: “Catra has been nothing but a disappointment to me!” (Razz, 1:3)

Shadow Weaver: “You’ve always been a disappointment. You’ve learned nothing from me!” (Light Hope, 1:12)

Shadow Weaver: “I assumed Hordak finally realized what a lazy, worthless creature you are and banished you.” (The Frozen Forest, 2:1)

At least one person would call it the opposite of a problem though. As far as Shadow Weaver is concerned, a day not spent berating children is a day wasted.

Shadow Weaver: “You were nothing before I took you in, Adora, and you will be nothing without me!” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

Shadow Weaver: “Clever. You always were. The moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were different. You were—” Adora: “Special? No. What you always told me was that I didn’t matter. I was ‘special’ only as long as I obeyed you.” (The Price of Power, 3:1)

This is yet another patented technique of hers, not that it stops Catra from parroting her anyway.

Catra: “When did you get so weak?” (The Sea Gate, 1:5)

Shadow Weaver: “You’re weak!” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

Catra: “And it won’t be over until I see the looks on your friends’ faces when they find out that you failed, that you were too weak to save them.” (The Battle of Brightmoon, 1:13)

With a few targeted remarks she saps Adora’s will to go on,

Adora: “Fine, you win. You want me to be weak? Well, I am. And I’m afraid. Because I’m no good at any of this.” (The Beacon, 1:10)

Adora: “It’s too late. I’ve failed.” (Heart II, 5:13)

feeds her insecurities,

Adora: “I don’t want any of you risking yourselves. She-Ra can do this alone. This is what she’s for.” Bow: “Adora, not even She-Ra can take out an army of Horde soldiers all on her own.” Adora: “Then what good is she⁈” (The Battle of Brightmoon, 1:13)

Catra: “Tired already? I thought punching was supposed to be like, the one thing you’re good at?” (The Battle of Brightmoon, 1:13)

undermines her confidence,

Adora: “I wanna be the best She-Ra. I wanna protect the planet! But Catra, she’s just… in my head.” (The Frozen Forest, 2:1)

Catra: “If you hadn’t gotten captured, your Sword wouldn’t have opened the Portal. If you hadn’t gotten the Sword, and then the world’s worst She-Ra, none of this would’ve happened! Admit it, Adora! The world would still be standing if you had never come through that Portal in the first place.” (The Portal, 3:6)

and affirms her greatest fears.

Adora: “I hurt people; I ruined my friends’ lives!” (Light Hope, 1:12)

Catra: “You’re the one who left the villagers unprotected. You’re good enough at hurting your friends without my help.” (Flutterina, 4:3)

This specific variety of verbal tactics is known as…

Guilt-trip

Guilt-tripping is a subtype of emotional abuse that leverages the feelings of, well, guilt. It’s a really uncomfortable emotion that puts the victim in a defensive position — they’re usually too busy trying to prove they’re not terrible to accuse anyone else of being so. As for Adora, she’s not so much guilt-tripped as guilt-hamstringed.

Adora: “I’m sorry. It’s my fault she was here; I endangered Mystacor.” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

Adora: “How could I let this happen?…” Bow: “Adora, it’s not your fault.” Adora: “It is my fault. Entrapta’s gone because of my plan.” (The Beacon, 1:10)

Adora: “Commander, it’s my fault. I—” (The Beacon, 1:10)

Adora: “[Glimmer]’s hurt because of me; I messed up. I got Glimmer and Bow captured, and Entrapta… It’s— It’s my fault!” (Light Hope, 1:12)

Adora: “I thought I could get through to [Catra], but all I did was push her further to the side of evil. Light Hope said I’d endanger my friends by coming back, and she was right. Everything that’s happening now is my fault…” (The Battle of Brightmoon, 1:13)

Adora: “Catra will make me watch all of it before she finishes me off, and then everyone is gone, and the Horde wins the war, and Etheria crumbles and it’s all my fault!” (Roll With It, 2:4)

Adora: “It’s all my fault! I-I’ve been so afraid of becoming another Mara, destroying the world the way she did, and now… it’s happening.” (Remember, 3:5)

Adora: “It must have been a diversion so that I’d leave Elberon defenseless. And-And I fell for it! This is my fault.” (Flutterina, 4:3)

Adora: “I’m sorry. It’s my fault you got hurt.” (Pulse, 4:4)

You don’t need Mermysteries-level deductive reasoning to trace the origin of those thoughts…

Shadow Weaver (disguised as Bow): “Everything that’s about to happen is your fault, Adora. You’re to blame.” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

Shadow Weaver: “Mystacor will fall, and it will be your fault!” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

…or to predict that Catra will ape her in this as she does in everything else.

Catra: “Let’s be honest here — all of this is your fault.” (The Portal, 3:6)

Catra: “You broke the world, and it is all. your. fault.” (The Portal, 3:6)

Not only with these exact words, either.

Shadow Weaver: “Adora, you must do a better job of keeping [Catra] under control. Do not let something like this happen again.” (Promise, 1:11)

Catra: “You made me this! You took everything from me!” (The Portal, 3:6)

They both make choices to harm people and then claim it’s Adora’s responsibility to stop them by appeasing their demands. Be the perfect soldier, or your friend gets it. Choose me over the rest of the world, or there won’t be a world. Comply, or you’ll make do something horrible. Speaking of doing something horrible and not owning up to it…

Gaslight

Gaslighting is not just a type of illumination. The term comes from a 1938 play Gas Light, in which a husband drives his wife mad by dimming the lights and then denying it. Deliberately creating a discrepancy between someone’s perception and their idea of reality convinces them that their own mind can’t be trusted — hard to imagine a more vulnerable position.

Shadow Weaver (disguised as Glimmer): “I think Adora has finally lost it! Did you see her in there? I think she’s going nuts!” Adora: “I’m not crazy!” *Adora sees that no one is around* Adora: “I’m… I’m not crazy.” (In the Shadows of Mystacor, 1:7)

I’m running out of animal analogies here, but you know the drill by now.

Catra: “You’ve officially lost it, haven’t you?” (Remember, 3:5)

Catra: “You’ve gone crazy!” (Remember, 3:5)

It’s really worth noting that some of the phrases from National Domestic Violence Hotline’s What is gaslighting? are things that Catra says to Adora word-for-word. A monkey on a typewriter would have better odds of stumbling into this exact phrasing than any dialogue writer who did basic research into their theme of choice and didn't want Catra to sound like an abuser.

Catra: “You’re just seeing things. It’s all in your head.” (Remember, 3:5)

Catra: “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” (Remember, 3:5)

But does she know what Adora’s talking about?

Yes. The scenes that most clearly prove it follow pretty much the same steps: Adora confronts Catra about what’s happening; Catra’s old memories are triggered; she gets defensive and tries to shut Adora down to maintain the façade. The only part that might not be immediately obvious to the viewer is that the first memory flash was experienced by Catra and not Adora. She describes her vision this way:

Adora: “I remember… a sword, a-a bright light, and you were ther—” (Remember, 3:5)

which is obviously referring to her finding the Sword, getting flashbanged by it, and then being woken up by Catra. But that's not what we see. And it's not Adora whose face the camera stays focused on like it did every time before. This is a bit subtler than the show usually prefers, but don’t worry, because all subtlety is gone out the window in their second argument. By that point, if Catra’s guilty expression and shifty eyes don't alert you to the fact that she’s lying, then a glowing neon sign stating exactly that wouldn’t make a difference.

On two separate occasions it's made clear that Catra knows something’s up and chooses to discredit Adora anyway. She’s not acting out of genuine ignorance but a stubborn desire to keep things “perfect” at any cost, even when the cost is Adora’s faith in her own sanity.

Adora: “I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like I’m losing my mind.” Catra: “You just need to relax.” Adora: “Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m fine. Everything’s fine…” (Remember, 3:5)

Adora’s body language — crossing her arms, hunching her shoulders, looking away — indicates someone who is deeply uncomfortable. She's growing more and more certain that Catra has done something seriously bad to her and that she's not safe with her anymore, but there's just enough doubt that Adora can't take any decisive action about it. The creeping realization that someone you've trusted with every part of you is actually a threat makes Remember into a borderline psychological horror.

Adora: “I know this is wrong; can’t you see it⁈ My memories don’t match; we’re jumping around; things are disappearing; it’s like time and space aren’t working right. And I—” Catra: “Adora, stop it. Stop!” (Remember, 3:5)

Catra's not just concerned. She’s angry that Adora won’t just shut up and accept her version of reality — a reality that doesn’t require Catra to acknowledge and face repercussions for all the ways in which she’s harmed Adora. Remember what I said about hyperboles in fiction? Strip this episode of portals and magic swords and all that nonsense, and what you’re left with is a person who wants to escape the fallout of their decisions so badly they’re willing to delude someone close to them until their world is falling apart before their eyes. Despite having gaslighting as its main focus, though, it also provides a striking example of a different tactic…

Physical abuse

We all know that generally, beating people up is bad. And yet a term was coined specifically for characters who start hitting on each other after just hitting each other — that ubiquitous “enemies-to-lovers” thing that plagues every SatPoP discussion. This inevitably muddies the waters, as it poses the question of how to identify physical abuse in a dynamic that must include violence by design. There’s some nuance to the problem. We could ask whether they fight for external or personal reasons, whether they have lines they won’t cross or will they stoop to anything, and what’s probably most important, whether they attack each other equally or is there an obvious aggressor. You're certainly welcome to ask yourself that. It shouldn't be hard.

But! for the sake of keeping our waters as clear as possible, I’ll draw a hard line and not count anything that happened in context of enemy battles as physical abuse. So, does Catra hit Adora when they're not locked in honorab— well, just in combat?

Yes. Case closed; moving on.

Repentance or

—no, fine, I may as well be thorough to the end and analyze these scenes in full, even if the point has already been proven. The first one takes place almost at the very beginning. Adora has just defected, but crucially, they are not treating each other as enemies yet, or else Adora would not turn her back to Catra and Catra wouldn't bother apologizing for stabbing her in said back.

Catra: “…oh man, that was a lot stronger than I thought. Are you okay?” Adora: “Catra!—” *Catra electrocutes her a second time* Catra: “I’m sorry! It was a reflex.” Adora: “Why… why are you doing this?” Catra: *pause* “Because you left me! And if I don’t bring you back, Shadow Weaver’s gonna have my head. So enough with this weird little identity crisis, and let’s go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?” (The Sword II, 1:2)

She says she didn't mean to hurt her. Then she hurts her again. Then threatens to hurt her again. Then attempts to hurt her again. For comparison, this is Catra's expression after her other shocking betrayal.

That's the thing: we know what Catra looks like when she regrets it. And she never looks like that when it comes to Adora.

Then, because abuse is a cycle, they go through the same motions in Remember.

Adora: “Ow! What was that?” Catra: “Sorry! You were freaking out, and it was freaking me out!” Adora: “Well you didn’t have to slap me!” Catra: “Come on, let’s get you outside; you need some air.” (Remember, 3:5)

Once again, Adora learns that her life is a lie and starts to break out of it. Once again, Catra immediately responds with anger and violence. Once again, she brushes right past Adora's indignation and tries to just paper over the whole affair until things go back to “normal”, the way they always have.

And look, I hear you. She's just a kid. We can't hold someone this young fully responsible for their actions, let alone brand them the most evil of anklebiters that ever learned to count to four. Just this once, I'd like to remove blame from the equation. It wasn't Catra's fault. That does not mean it isn't an important look into their dynamic all the same. We aren't asking who deserves to be punished here — that would be Shadow Weaver — we're asking what happened and what it means for the characters going forward.

So Catra is upset that her friend has been hanging out with Lonnie. There's probably some normal childish jealousy mixed in, but from a trauma standpoint, she's likely terrified that the one thing standing between her and her abuser is slipping away. Whatever the context behind it though, the situation is more or less the same: Catra feels that Adora is threatening their relationship, and the only thing she can think of is to lash out until she gives in. Not exactly a shocking reaction for a desperate, frightened child soldier-in-training to have, but it's one that Catra simply refuses to grow out of. Her present-day actions demonstrate that she never stopped viewing pain as a means of correcting Adora's behavior. Maybe she's not as quick to resort to it. Maybe sometimes she'll just use cutting words instead of cutting claws. Maybe she'll even apologize after the fact. After all, she's not a child anymore, so her violence is actually thought-out. Deliberate. Either way, the second Adora steps out of line Catra will go from affectionate and playful to aggressive and pitiless until she gives in… or gives out.

I'll keep my promise and not bring in the scary A-word when they're at least ostensibly fighting for their respective factions, but I will call Catra's behavior what it is: cruel. It's cruel and vicious and needlessly brutal in a way she isn't towards anyone else she faces off against, and certainly not in any way Adora's been towards her. The goal is not to incapacitate — it's to hurt. That kind of unflinching willingness to cause harm doesn't come out of nowhere.

…but enough dwelling on the past! It doesn't matter if Catra pushed her into water off a bridge, because it's all water under the bridge. They've turned a new leaf, done a 180°, started from scratch— okay, that one is poor phrasing. Point is, it's all behind them now. Right?

Repentance or repetition

Interrupting my barrage of hot takes with a lukewarm but nonetheless correct take: Catra should be redeemed. More than that, her redemption is necessary for the story to achieve its full potential. And while I get why people say it should've begun earlier, I actually think its placement in the story makes sense. I've mentioned briefly that all four parts of the show have their own unique attributes. Act I is mostly introductory, establishing the cast and their position in the world without moving things forward too much. Act II is where the plot really kicks off, with the first mentions of a mysterious weapon and a wider universe. Act III in turn is a downward slope where everyone, heroes and villains alike, are starting to unravel and hit rock bottom. What then, you may ask, defines Act IV? Change. The status quo shattered along with She-Ra's sword. Etheria being overrun means there is no longer a comfort zone to retreat to. Nearly every constant you've gotten used to over the last four seasons is ripped away, pushing the characters into uncharted territory and forcing them to adapt. Thematically speaking, this is the perfect time for Catra to finally leave her old habits behind and start anew.

Did she though?

Catra: “I keep having this horrible vision of a blonde girl, who thinks she's better than everyone, barging into my room all day. Oh, wait.” (Taking Control, 5:6)

Catra: “I told you not to come back! But you just love feeling like a hero, don't you⁈” (Taking Control, 5:6)

If you think this line sounds kind of familiar, that's because it's almost the same thing she said back in Promise when their relationship completely fell apart.

Catra: “You always need to play the hero, don't you?” (Promise, 1:11)

I said it's not too late to redeem Catra in Act IV, and I stand by that. But it only holds true if the creators make full use of the time they have instead of ignoring the epiphanies she already had and having her go back and forth some more like an actual cat who can't decide if they want in or out the damn door. Or better yet, emphasizing that she hasn't changed at all halfway through the last season. Whenever you feel bad about your time management skills, remember that at least you aren't responsible for that. (If by chance you are, DM me. I have questions.)

Catra: “Then you've even dumber than I thought.” (Taking Control, 5:6)

Catra: “I always knew you were kinda dumb, but… come on.” (The Sea Gate, 1:5)

As Catra echoes her previous lines, so does Adora. Echo Catra, that is.

Adora: “I'm such an idiot.” (Taking Control, 5:6)

Catra: “You're such an idiot.” (Save the Cat, 5:5)

Whether it was intended as “light-hearted teasing”, if Adora immediately comes back to it when she's distraught and insecure then that's not what it was. I sure hope Catra doesn't repeat this later on! The show does make a point that people don't get over themselves in a day. They do that in two days, apparently, because the very next episode opens with Catra messing with Adora as if they've been best buds for ages and she has no reason at all to be particularly careful around her.

The very face of shame and remorse right here. Catra did not apologize for lashing out again. She made no promises it won't happen again. The only reason they even moved past this is because Adora prioritized Catra's feelings over her own. Again. For a season that was supposed to be all about change, it sure gives me a lot of déjà vu.

War crimes aside, Catra's main problem has always been her inability to have healthy conflict. We already know she can be nice to Adora when they agree on everything — the real test of character is what happens when they don't. Can she express her disapproval in a constructive way, without falling back into familiar patterns? To which Season 5 confidently answers: nah.

When Adora isn't siding with her on every issue, Catra storms off in a huff so that she always has to come and make it up to her, even if she didn't do anything wrong.

When there's an opening to criticize Adora for defying her in the past, Catra takes it, even if it means twisting what actually happened.

Adora: “How are we supposed to fight our own friends?” Catra: “It never stopped you before.” (Save the Cat, 5:5)

Adora: “Don't move.” Catra: “Oh, please. You'd never have the guts.” (White Out, 2:5)

Glimmer: “[Adora] left us. She's headed to the Heart on her own.” Catra: “Of course she's gone! That's what she does, isn't it?” (Heart I, 5:12)

Adora: “Catra, please. Stay. I need you.” Catra: “No, you don't. You never have.” (Failsafe, 5:11)

And when all else fails…

This isn't about the argument itself. It doesn't matter which of them has objectively correct takes on Shadow Weaver or the failsafe or pineapple on pizza. What matters is that Catra still punishes Adora for not conforming to her expectations.

She still withholds affection if her conditions aren't met.

She still looks down on her. Wait, what's this pin doing here?… Oh, yeah. Another visual cue that came back is the cheek touch, and it sort of captures the whole issue with Season 5 in that it's clearly meant to be recontextualized, except the narrative fails to actually earn that. Adora already uses it as a gesture of comfort before they start working on their relationship at all. There's no struggle to reclaim it despite all the ways it's been weaponized against them, and still is weaponized against Adora. It used to be bad and now it just… isn't.

I'm sure some people would accuse me of deliberately leaving out the good parts in favor of things that support my own reading, but when it comes to abuse, the good parts don't cancel out the bad. In fact, the cycle of abuse specifically includes reconciliation and calm after every incident. One moment Catra sticks out her neck to protect Adora and apologizes “for everything”, the next moment she's yelling and hurling insults. One moment she's making a mean-spirited jab to satisfy an old grudge, the next moment she's going out of her way to lift Adora's spirits. One moment they're enjoying each other's company like nothing ever happened, the next moment Catra is giving her the cold shoulder for making a wrong choice. One moment Adora is left crying alone despite begging for emotional support, the next moment Catra pulls her back from the brink with the power of love. A relationship that's going up and down like a cardiograph is no less toxic than a relationship that's always down. Healing isn't linear, yes, but it's still going somewhere. Catra's relapses don't get any less intense — if anything, her lowest point this season is right before the finale. She's never called out on them by Adora or anyone else, either. Catra occasionally hurting her just seems to be a normal part of their dynamic, and there's absolutely no indication it'll go away after the credits roll.

No wonder then that the show doesn't feel too pressured to unpack everything that happened during the four seasons Catra spent gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and otherwise girlbossing. It's content enough to say that she did some nebulous bad things and hurt a bunch of nonspecific people, but none of that has long-lasting consequences that could get in the way of romance, thank goodness. If it did, the viewers might've felt a tad awkward that the person helping Catra work through her loss of autonomy is the same one she literally turned into a weapon at some point, with zero acknowledgment of that fact.

Any fear or anger or trauma that Adora might and did have regarding Catra conveniently vanish whenever she needs to take care of her. Which is a lot. No matter how badly she was treated in the past — and by “past” I mean “last time they talked” — she never once denies Catra her time and energy, being written less like an incredibly forgiving abuse victim and more like an idealized knight-in-shining-armor figure. Or a martyr.

Obviously this isn't Catra's fault. She didn't choose for this drawn-out… honestly, torture porn is the only description I can think of, crass as it is — to happen. But the writers did. They took a character who has already suffered far, far too much at the hands of her abuser, had her brutalized in as graphic detail as the rating would allow by someone who looks and sounds exactly like them, and framed it all as a great romantic sacrifice she makes for said abuser.

There is no universally correct way to write redemption — no, not even “make them just like Zuko” — and things only get more complicated when you throw a topic as sensitive as abuse into the mix. It requires a very thoughtful, careful approach to ensure that the work you put out doesn't trivialize anyone's experiences. But the writers of SatPoP seemed to care much more about cheap drama and angst than respecting their theme, and the result is unbelievably tone-deaf.

Perhaps Catra does love Adora. She certainly has some strong feelings about her, one way or another. But feelings alone aren't enough. Because if Catra's love looks like this:

then I don't think Adora deserves it, actually. …so why do so many people disagree?

The other point of view

Of all four antagonists we’ve brought up, Catra is the only one to have a clear reason behind her villainy. She’s cute, she’s sympathetic, she’s — let’s just say it — relatable. You can say a lot about what makes people look at an underdog (undercat?) who's mistreated and angry and deeply messy and go “she's so me”. There’s a reason Catra’s character resonated with so many who view her arc as the ultimate proof that they, like her, can be loved no matter what they're struggling with. So of course there’s a violent knee-jerk reaction towards people who are seen as trying to take away that message, taint it somehow. And believe it or not, that's not what I'm trying to do. Catra matters. But so does Adora. One victim's happy ending should never, ever come at the expense of another one's. Catra deserves a better story too — one where she truly breaks the cycle of abuse and inspires people to do the same, instead of living out a fantasy where you can keep treating your loved ones like trash and still have them come back to you in the end.

[cesium-sheep]

somehow the conversation went from "I know you've only been reliably financially stable for like a month but also like we are fine and you super don't need to worry about like the cost of fast food friday or whatever" to "I actually have a lot of anxiety about the state of the world and climate change in particular" but also good news, apparently I'm recovered enough to feel like I can rely on myself again. he's all like "housing might be difficult in a total collapse" and I'm just like "well I'm a mean motherfucker and I'm comfortable with night shifts" so. 6 months ago I couldn't even rely on myself to figure out how to survive the next 6 months, because I was completely cooked. (which is scary btw, I've always been a highly self-reliant person which has been the root of much of my optimism. but I stopped being optimistic for like a year because I physically couldn't keep fighting for it. although it did still take a significant chunk of time of Already Literally Dying and multiple near-malpractice care decisions While Dying to get me there. I am not just talking out my ass when I say I'm very resilient.)

but also like. I know many people worry so much about climate change. and like I do think things can be better, and I do want them to keep moving in that direction, and I want those changes to be made in a way that they don't rely on any one person so that they can keep going. but at the same time, like. I'm a small picture girly (gender neutral). as long as I'm alive the small picture will still be here in front of me to respond to as it comes, and I have faith in my ability to respond which has been repeatedly proven. and once I'm dead what's there for me to be upset about? I would prefer things get better instead of worse, and I don't want people to suffer, but even if they get worse, the small picture is still here in front of me. and even in the absolute worst possible case scenario that anyone could ever imagine, either the small picture will still be there or I'll be dead. so I really can't find it in me to be upset about the potential bad outcomes. and that's always been the case, even like in college when studying biology and some people get really up in arms about endangered species and it's like. I don't inherently want anything to die, and if steps can be taken they should be, but I just feel nothing about it. (turns out you can want and even work for positive outcomes without constantly tying yourself up in anxious knots about negative ones. Almost Like Empathy Isn't Actually Necessary (or sufficient) For Good. but that's a different horse.)

anyway change comes slow and humans are incredibly adaptable (but also not the center of the universe) and you don't have to feel bad in order to push for good.

[annawrites444]

Hey! So I saw you were doing matchups and GODS I couldn’t help myself, I’ve always wanted to try one so… here’s a “few” things about myself:

I like to think of myself as a daughter of Hades or Hecate (yes, I’m a female this is NOT a typo), not sure which since I have traits that could branch from either one. I’m said to be loyal, HEAVILY sarcastic, rude yet kind, creative, playful, something about forgetful(?), and impulsive af. There’s just something about doing something first the moment it comes to your brain than thinking about it that just works. I mean, as Leo said, “thinking tends to disrupt the flow of thinking less.” (Wait, what do you mean that isn’t it? Well… close enough). I’ll always be out there making jabs and annoying my friends on the daily, but also showing my concern and affections if they’re not okay. No matter if they’re just sick or tired. I listen to them whenever there’s something going on, and always try to give advice if I could. Even if I’m not the best (horrible) at it.

Can you tell that I love my family- I mean friends? I’m not gonna lie, I’m willing to take a whole punch to the kidneys or bullet to the chest just for them. I’m not sure if I’m exaggerating or not, but, I don’t know, I just feel like I would take series of Ls just for them.

Is that weird? Yeah, it probably is…

Anyway! What else is there to say… oh!

I love swimming, learning about Greek mythology, listening to music (like musicals), and vibing all around. There’s nothing better than just chilling around (preferably in bed) after another tedious day of life and it’s… life. It just hits RIGHT. But I HATE insects, especially flies. If I see those stupid, fat, spindly-legged ass creatures then I’m running away with my tail between my legs. I don’t know why those scare me in particular, but they do. It’s weird.

But, that should be it! I’m sorry if it’s too long, just take one look and tell me to shorten it if you want. I’m willing to adjust if needed. Have a good day 😊

(Oh yeah, before I forget, I would like to be paired up with a male character and I’m underage (16) so… yeah!)

Matchup! Daughter of Hecate Reader X Leo Valdez

PJO/ HOO universe

(Blurb) Oh Gods. They were everywhere. Those stupid giant mosquitos that never seemed to catch a hint. You were armed with a flyswatter, in a fighting position, on top of your bunk and swatting aimlessly in the air. You were NOT going to back down this time. You forgot a few things occasionally, but you weren’t prepared for forgetting to shut your cabin door behind you before going to eat breakfast. You yelped out in fear as a ginormous mosquito flew inches away from your face. So this is how I die, you thought, annoyed at your previous forgetfulness. You spent a good 20 minutes up there fighting the urge to scream. You siblings were already out and about the camp and were nowhere near to help you. You had made a very handy fly repellent and bug spray but it was sitting on the potions-work table on the opposite side of the cabin. Stealth Mission Kill Flies: GO you decided to pull a mission impossible and jump your way over to the table before they closed in on you. You positioned yourself, ready to jump onto the other bunk a few feet away. 3…2….1..JUMP, you leapt up into the air and face planted onto the other top bunk. Thank the Gods. “YES” You yelled out, excited to finally be one step closer to your goal. You readied yourself for another leap of faith, only to hear a stifled laugh, before you looked over in horror At Leo Valdez, who had just witnessed that whole thing. “Oh…heyy Leo, I can explain-” you flushed with embarrassment. “No need, I think I know what’s going on.” Leo walked over to the bunk you were currently towering over. He looked up at you with an amused smirk across his face. You had a hard time trying to fake annoyance, rather than succumbing to the blush now covering your cheeks. As if on cue, a swarm of big ass mosquitos darted toward you swarming across your head and getting in your face. You yelled out swatting in every direction and didn’t notice how unbalanced you were. You got most of them, except for one, as you reached out to swat him you lost your balance on the edge of the bunk and fell off the top. You braced yourself, expecting to hit the hard wooden floors, when much to your surprise you felt two arms wrapped around you and your head leaning against a shoulder. Oh GODS, Leo had caught you from your fall. You sat there for a second before coming to your senses and jumping out of his grasp. “I’m so so sorry, Leo.” you began to apologize “I swear I’ll be more-” you covered your face with your hands, “No-No problem,”He shook his head, face red as a tomato “it’s all good, Just didn’t expect you to fall for me so early in the morning” He gave you a winning grin before walking over to the bug spray and warding off your unwanted intruders. “I just stopped by to see if you wanted to head down to the lake together to meet up with Piper and Jason?” he held out his hand to you. You rolled your eyes at his cheesy line before debating your plans for the day, “I guess as long as long as we don’t miss training later” You grabbed his hand, fingers interlocked and bit your lip to hide your growing smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it” he led the way out of the dark cabin and into the daylight outside. My hero, you thought. But you'd never tell him that....

(song)

Mission Impossible theme…/j 

Actually though “Bewitched” by Laufey just gives me soft, in love feels. Which I think is kinda perfect for a witchy camper :) Also the lyrics really resonate with the blurb I wrote and what I picture your relationship to feel like, “You wrote me a note cast a spell on my Heart”. 

(Headcanons)

You and Leo are chaotic energy X 2 honestly X10. Like non stop banter at Camp, on the Argo II, everywhere you guys go it’s like a contest to see who gets the final say. There 100% is a chalkboard somewhere on board with a tally of arguments/ conversations won (you’re in the lead with about 27, Leo has 22). 

While you’re both funny people to be around, you are able to find this sensitivity with certain topics and especially with Leo and his trauma surrounding his mom’s death, you always try your hardest to comfort him, even if you don’t know exactly what to say. He appreciates every moment of it, and you kinda just hold him in your arms as he vents to you.

Lake dates are totally a thing, whether it’s just you two, or  with the whole prophecy of 7 in tow you guys make it a habit to go on swims and walks along the shore of the lake every night to take a break from the tiring life of a demigod child of prophecy. 

Leo admires the fire you have within you, to stand up for others, and to speak your mind, he knows you to be the most loyal person at camp. You’re like the big sister for all the little kids, I imagine you especially doting on the demigod kids who are children of minor gods and that end up getting overlooked at times. You’re their advocate and Leo is just HEART EYES. 

After coming back from that final battle with Gaia, you needed a few days to process everything and to be alone, away from other people. Leo was more than happy to calm down your normal schedules and spend a few days on your bunk talking, reading, or just napping in peace and quiet. 

Thank you for your requests and thank you so much for your patience Anon!!

hope you like it :))

-love, Anna <3

[vylad243]

Honestly with the way the Goethals act in general it could be safe to say most of them go down the line of “Anyone I perceive as lower than me I treat like shit” with a few accepting members like Stolas

But speaking of Stolas, if you feel more comfortable going off of what is canon, then maybe the idea could spin off of him? We know him to be respectful and to have enough pull to get meetings with a Sin so it wouldn’t be too far off to say Ozzy asked Stolas to check out the hotel to sponsor it. Maybe during introductions he only bows to Lucifer, the Sins, and Vox and everyone is confused?

Just spitballing with the other anons idea! Whatever you go with will be amazing regardless!

Also just a small question cause I’m curious of what you have planned but how many prompts are you planning on writing/is in your Que? I have like a shit ton of prompts in my inbox and need filtering advice if you’re willing 😭

I am the goddess of fucking around and finding out

I don't mind canon or going off canon. My Alastor and Vox are very ooc after all, but I know the fandom tends to hold Helluva Boss in a higher standard. I never really liked it that much. I've watched it- but I'm Striker. Why does everything gotta be a sex thing? The two season finales were my favourite of Helluva Boss, which ironically included little to no Stolas

I could definitely see Stella and her brother treating the sinners and overlords are faith on their shoes while Stolas and Octavia hold the sins and Vox in higher regard

Ozzie would definitely be pulling the strings to get Stolas to visit the Hazbin Hotel if I go that route.

I like working off of your guy's ideas. It's very fun and helps me world build 🙏

~~~~~~

Ahahaha my ask box is also full of different prompts. I have omega-verse, the Vee's joining the battle, and injured Alastor are three I can name off the top of my head (because I'm writing them right now) but I think I have like 10 or 11 in there. One is also a beauty and the beast ay which I'm mulling over

As for how I filter them out- prompts are things I want to be able to enjoy writing. Some of my prompts have been quite large- and while I don't mind the large ones, it gives me a lot less freedom with them because I feel like I have to rewrite a whole story that was just in the my box. I never deleted any, though. I just put them in their in tag just in case I feel like writing them later- but ones I am writing right now/want to write sit in my box so I can shuffle through them. It keeps it organized

I haven't encountered any rude people yet- so I haven't had to reject anyone for demanding things from me (which like I'm always ready for a debate on the internet, I find them funny) and with how nice everyone is, I usually feel bad for denying them. It's way I take so long to deny people. I want to make sure this is actually something I don't plan on writing in the near future

My way to filter out prompts is

- I need creative freedom to write so I don't feel miserable writing. This is one of the main ones. My brain is very hectic and I find myself tapping out if I can't bring my own ideas to the table. It's also why none of my works are exactly like the prompts im given

- I have enough context to write a fic on it

- I would actually enjoy writing it

- it's a world/au I'm aware of or contributed to. Nothing is worse than being handed a fully built universe and being asked to write for it with little to no explanation on how the universe works

- the people are nice to me.

- I know I make a few jokes here and there, but I like to keep in mind that I'm making free work for people. I'm not being paid to do this, and people aren't paying me to write out the prompts. I love writing fanfiction and it's a great hobby, but if you're genuinely just not interested in doing something- you don't have too. Writing it meant to be fun and inspiration is a fickle thing. You don't want to push it too hard or it's going to shove back. I've learnt that the hard way

- bonus way to do it- sometimes people leave comments, and I find them funny, and I get creative with them. I censored a whole chapter of month in rut because someone told me to let the characters swear. I'm also a very petty person

This is just personal, but I keep my prompts 1k-3.5k words just so it's decently sized, but not overly large

Hope this helps!

[tyrannuspitch]

i know it's probably a lot MORE vexing to be on the other side of this equation [ie: a norse myth enthusiast when the public image of your passion has been swallowed whole by Some Hollywood Film that just makes shit up]...

but it is still incredibly vexing to me how so many people who are clearly very well-versed in and passionate about norse myth will tell you that mcu thor is terrible while displaying the most surface-level understanding of it.

like. argh. obviously it's fine to personally dislike something for being inaccurate, but "inaccuracy" is not necessarily an artistic flaw in and of itself. sometimes change is just change.

"ah," you say, "but i don't dislike it for being inaccurate, i dislike it because all the changes are simplifying and reductive." are you sure? is it really that the version you know is complex and subtle, and the version you're seeing for the first time is shallow and dumbed-down... or is it just that you're seeing this version for the first time? is it actually less complex" or is it just complex in different ways from what you're expecting?

but also, mcu thor was never going or trying to be mythologically accurate, because it's literally not an adaptation of the myths. it's an adaption of the comics.

yes, it definitely would be cool to have a blockbuster film that accurately depicted norse myth... but that film wouldn't be "marvel's thor". because marvel's thor is his own entity, and he is not interchangeable with his mythological counterpart. if you wrote about myth!thor when you were meant to be writing about marvel!thor, that would be inaccurate too, and, unlike the films we have, you would be failing your brief.

and god it's just really frustrating because like. even a lot of people who like these movies don't see what they're doing, and don't understand that the simplistic hero narrative is something they're setting up specifically to knock down... but that's going to be even harder to see when you're trying to view the movies through a myth lens, given that they're designed to be viewed either through a comic lens or no lens at all.

you need to trust these movies if you want to see what makes them good, and if you come in with the wrong set of expectations, they're not going to look very trustworthy! they're trying to critique and re-complexify the simplified narrative of (the worst version of) the comics, but if you don't know the comics, you're going to think the movies did all the simplifying themselves, and if you don't have patience or faith in the movies, you're not notice to see the self-subversion going on.

which would all be difficult enough to begin with. but then we also have the fact that these movies are near-universally seen as Bad Movies, disposable, soulless, low art, unworthy of study, etc etc. which means that simply trying to defend them is going to lower your credibility in a lot of people's eyes, and the likelihood of anyone ever actually listening to you and believing you on this topic is pretty much negligible. it is at this point that i conclude that i have most likely fallen victim to a wizard's curse and should resign myself to being trapped in the labyrinth(tm) for the rest of my days.

[blueiight]

21 13 6 🤓

6. Are you afraid of death?

actually its really soothing to me to know that one of the universal human experiences is death. im upset when other ppl i know die moreso bc its the loss of their presence forever + the way they died being in a way of suffering [like being shot or stabbed..] but im not afraid of my own death. when it comes, itll come. ive cheated her a few times anyways, shes been waiting for me lol

13. Are you religious? How? Why?

ive had really negative formative experiences w/ religious leaders + as a result id think about what 'god' means.. god really is an ideal concept of humanity, or what humans [mainly men creating what would become faiths] conceive of as the ideal architect of creation, and i believe that the first step in self hatred is being raised to believe u will never be allowed to be centered as an ideal human or creator of anything.. metaphysics+ all aside on the question of 'god's' existence in the first place, i just dont find it fit for myself to patronize many of the world's big religions when women like me are represented as harlots, as aberrations + mistakes in the eyes of a 'god'. why would i worship something that hates me? on the other hand, im not arrogant enough to think i am anywhere near close to the truth to be definitive enough for myself, much less to even dare to say what others should believe...

21. “The quality of mercy is not strain’d, / It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven”. Are you merciful? Or, if you do not know, if given the opportunity to forgive someone who had wronged you greatly, would you forgive them?

id like to lie and say no, im cut throat bc while admittedly i am argumentative and cocky n unforgiving to ppl irdc about... but really if ur close enough to me (talk to me more than twice) im soft as fuck and forgive any wrong done against me for the sake of companionship

[livingtheword7777]

“Just Be Yourself” — By Completely Overhauling Yourself

The other day, a quote from former U.S. President Trump’s speech at the University of Alabama went viral on social media:

“God only created one of you, remember that. You are one of a kind, so don’t try to be someone else. Just be yourself.” (source)

What caught most people’s attention was the last phrase: “Just be yourself.”

Now, I’m not an American citizen, and I don’t believe that simply replacing political leaders is enough to bring real change to the world—so I’ll refrain from commenting on any specific politician. But I do find it curious that this quote, especially when taken out of context, has been so widely praised.

From what I’ve seen in my own walk of faith, true transformation and unique happiness often require people to change—even radically—no matter how old they are. Growth doesn’t come from staying the same.

Phrases like “just be yourself” or “you don’t have to force yourself to be someone else” are commonly used in spiritual and self-help circles. They sound encouraging and affirming, meant to boost self-esteem. But in practice, they can quietly rob people of the drive to face their struggles head-on and grow through them.

They can even become an excuse to stop trying. When someone is stuck or weary from striving, and they hear, “It’s okay to just be who you are,” it can feel like permission to give up. The phrase may seem kind, but it often delivers the final nudge away from perseverance—at the very moment a breakthrough might be near.

Yes, it sounds comforting. But often, that comfort is a trap—a subtle way the enemy keeps us from stretching, striving, and becoming more like Christ.

And even when we do want to change—when we’re ready to challenge ourselves and grow—it can be hard to know where to start. In today’s world, there are countless ways to stay entertained or distracted, from adult hobby classes to endless online games. But places that offer real, rigorous guidance for personal growth are rare. And the older we get, the fewer those opportunities seem to be.

I remember reaching a point where I became deeply discouraged. I wanted to make my life count, but I didn’t know how. I was searching for direction, but everything around me seemed to say, “Just be yourself.” And that only added to my confusion.

That’s when I encountered the teachings of RAPT-san—and for the first time, I began to find real answers.

RAPT-san once said, “Because humans are made in God’s image, we can grow to become like Him.” (source) Originally, God created us to reflect His nature. That means true happiness lies in growing toward perfection—thinking like God, acting with wisdom, and mastering life in a way that mirrors His character.

He also taught that we are more than just physical beings. Each of us has a spiritual body, and as that spiritual self matures, our physical abilities and overall capacity for living well also grow. (source)

Once I began applying the teachings from RAPT blog, I noticed real change in myself. That’s when I learned the true path to transformation: not tweaking a few habits here and there, but a complete overhaul—a full surrender to God’s Word. Not selectively, but wholly. It requires emptying yourself of worldly thinking and aligning every part of your life with God’s will. (source)

That’s when God can truly use you—when He can lead you to thrive in the way you were uniquely created to.

Of course, living fully in alignment with God’s Word isn’t easy. It often involves long, honest struggles. But if we settle for the easy comfort of “Just be yourself,” while ignoring the deeper goal of becoming like God, we’re left with nothing but stagnation, frustration, and despair.

RAPT-san himself is the clearest example of this radical self-abandonment. For 25 years, he trained himself to let go of ego and live fully according to God’s plan. And now, he’s living a blessed and purpose-filled life, with his unique talents shining more than ever. By surrendering his will, he gained a life of meaning—one that continues to inspire me and many others.

I’ve now been following God’s Word for about four years, and it’s helped me overcome personal weaknesses, challenge myself in new areas, and keep growing. I’ve seen real improvements in my abilities, and life has become both more fulfilling and more joyful. (source)

The phrase “Just be yourself” might offer momentary comfort, but it doesn’t lead to lasting solutions. Eventually, you’ll feel like you’re carrying around the heavy weight of your old self—a burden that drags you down and chips away at your self-worth.

True love and kindness aren’t about telling people what they want to hear—they’re about pointing people to real change, even when it’s hard. They’re about showing the way to growth, and walking with others on the path of transformation.

POSTED BY MAIA

📙 Here is the link to the RAPT blog, where RAPT Nakamura shares the revelations he received from God:

RAPT-blog

These teachings offer deep insight into God’s heart, His plans, and how to rightly interpret His Word.

Although the articles are currently available only in Japanese, they are well worth reading with the help of a translation tool—especially if you're sincerely seeking truth and transformation.

Image by Felix from Pixabay

[faithfulsheepdog]

what do you mean I don’t have to throw reason out the window to be a Christian? What about the whole faith is blind thing?

Hi, Anon! That's a good question! Thanks for asking.

So, the phrase "faith is blind" comes from different Scriptures to indicate that there is some merit to believing in things you can't see.

Hebrews 11:1 is a popular one. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (ESV) And a few verses down, verse 6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him." (ESV)

Jesus Himself said in John 20:29, "You believe because you have seen Me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing Me." (NLT)

What the blind faith thing references is really more regarding our response to God's direction. If He tells us to do something, more often than not, we are not going to get every detail of His plan when He tells us to do something. He gives us what we need to know to take the next step, and for us, that doesn't always feel enough. But He also promises that He will be with us every step of the way, even if we can't physically see Him right there with us. So we have to step out in faithful obedience despite not knowing the full plan, despite not knowing what's going to happen next.

Like me starting this blog if I'm being 100% honest. I didn't have the full plan, but He gave me a desire and a next step. And even though I was nervous to take that step in obedience, I have to have faith in Him that He will take my obedience and use it for His purposes and that He will be with me through this process.

That is what it means when we say, "Sometimes faith is blind."

What I mean when I said you don't have to throw reason out the window to be a Christian is God never asked you to not use the brain He gave you. Because let’s face it: humans aren’t necessarily rational, but we are certainly very curious.  And while we can’t shake off a level of subjectivity with our personal perspectives and experiences, when it comes to faith and belief, a lot of people - a lot of Christians - have fallen for the lie that faith/belief cannot be in the same room with evidence/reason.  This leads to the assumption that Christians deal in myth and fantasy while the rest of the world deals in facts and reality.

But the truth of the matter is that Christianity is true.  Not a truth; it’s the truth.

Christians know it, and we really want the rest of the world to know it too.  It’s an important cornerstone of reality that’s too often overlooked for various reasons, and we want people to not ignore it any longer.

Most often though, the problem is today’s Christians, myself included, are not really equipped to talk about how it’s true.  How can we defend the faith if we don’t even know how or why it’s true?

An evidential faith blends the objective (historical & scientific) evidence of the Gospel with the subjective (feelings & personal revelations through the Holy Spirit) experiences of the Gospel, with Jesus as the cornerstone of it all. 

It’s one thing to experience God and believe He exists and is active in our lives through subjective experience, which is a beautiful thing. It’s another to experience God through historical & scientific data to find that the God of the universe not only exists but is also telling the truth about Himself, the world we live in, and you. And that too is a beautiful thing.

Hope this helps, Anon!

[localvoidyeller]

Idk what to write about this keyboard is what is keeping me here tbh

I was born and raised to christian parents ina somewhat religious household. I went to catholic convent school for four years (Grade 1 to 4) and i hated it. Not every moment of it, just the religious aspects. I don’t actually remember when i started going to mass but it was mabndatory, even for the muslims and it was my first ever endurance test in life. After i managed to pass the first hurdle with flying colors (staying awake all throughout, it went on for what seemed like hours) i mastered the art of zoning out and filling my time with delicious daydreams. I believe it was there that i perfected my storytelling chops, sitting and standing at al the right moments, clapping in time to the music. The music was the only thing semi decent about mass. I was too young for holy communion so my friends and i practiced with Ribena and crisps at the back of the field near the trees and benches. Needless to say the teacher on duty that (rudely) interrupted us was not pleased.

My biggest hung up with catholic school was how we were dissuaded from asking anything important that was religiously flavoured. I got the sense that we were meant to take what the nuns had to say as gospel truth and i knew if I’d stay there for a few more years id get in trouble for saying something blasphemous. Thank goodness is as whisked away after fourth grade.

My transition to a more pluralistic school (we had muslims, Christian’s and Hindus there) was what i feel led me to have, creative freedom when it came to exploring themes of faith and religion and in a crude sense, my spirituality. I was a self proclaimed atheist at some point, much to the amusement of some of my classmates (someone should seriously study the religious trauma catholic schools inflict on young souls.), but felt safe enough to evolve in my thinking and beliefs. Even my mother seemed forward thinking coming from a catholic background herself.

I started to rely more heavily on a higher power as i progressed in my classes and school got harder. I had transitioned from being agnostic to believing in Divine assistance and calling on it sporadically every so often. The last two years of high school being the hardest in my life, i “fell out of touch” with God, blaming “Him” for all the misery in my life and my mothers not knowing back then that the real issue was the familial dysfunction i was raised in could remain invisible no longer and the Supreme Emotional Anguish (i know its dramatic but that’s what it felt like) i was experiencing was a consequence of eighteen years of emotional buildup making itself incredibly known to me. I couldn’t hide from the truth of everything i was experiencing and realising as well as finish my assessments, learn and study and stay on top of all the extracurricular is as hurling myself into to make up for the fact that I’d been slacking off, not out of laziness, but out of fear how big everything felt. I don’t remember a lot of the day to day.

Tarot for me happened as part of a wake up call I experienced after the pandemic. After graduating high school and getting good enough grades for university by the skin of my teeth, i was ITCHING to leave behind the dysfunctionallity of my parents house. Naturally, I made this known and this did not go down well with my mother. The pandemic was hard emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I hit rock bottom twice. I had undiagnosed ADHD, a head full of unhealthy coping mechanism, anxiety to rival that of a mouse and, after being prescribed medication, a new found substance abuse problem. Life felt so shitty and the ADHD medication highlighted that to me so loudly, I’d get high everyday at the end of the day just to undo how i felt on adhd medication. AND, to make it worse, i was in love with someone who wasn’t good for me, the codependent version of me thrived at this juncture. Suffice to say that my life was an emotional clusterfuck. The only reprieve was the summer i spent outside the student accomodation i had lived in was sequestered in for the better part of the year, 2 weeks after I’d just started my first year of university. I got a credit that summer after 3 terms of scraping the bottom of the barrel with my grades.

My wake up call happened on shrooms. I had just acquired some from my dealer and decided to split it with a friend, as a cost cutting measure. We took it under a tree near my dorm, she headed to hers and i to mine. When I asked her what i experience was, she said she was really happy. Like incredibly happy, and at the time, i thought she was lying heartlessly given that id just spent my trip crying out everything in me. I was geniunely shocked at how diffferent her experience was from mine. I was so sad and everything that contributed to and compounded to my misery just came to the forefront until all I could do was face it. My face was incredibly swollen from the crying, I could hardly recognise myself in the mirror.

The medicine told me this: For as long as you dont take charge of your life, you will continue to be miserable. (I’m paraphrasing here), and I have never been the same since.

I believe the term for it is the dark night of the soul, characterised by disconnection from my truth, overwhelming emotional anguish or turmoil, a good old fashioned existential crisis (classic), a shedding of old identities, lots of introspection and revisiting past traumas, fatigue and insomnia, not caring much about the external world (not there was much of an external world during the pandemic) and finally, a desire for better.

In a matter of days, i started noticing shifts, I switched from a dark dorm room (heh) to brighter one by the main road near campus. It was there that i started seeing angel numbers more because of the bus numbers.

I became distinctly more spiritual after this point, going ahead to purchase my first tarot deck (The Illuminated Tarot by xxx) based purely on aesthetics, buying crystals and incense, smoking weed (but differently this time, i promise) and spending more time in nature. While it was superficial and essentially crude, i believe it was a gateway to deeper spiritual truths. I don’t exactly remember making a conscious decision to leave uni behind, all i remember is that all my decisions led me to dropping out. I didn’t even admit out loud to myself what i had done until much later than i should have. I ended up losing all my friends because of this. It was cowardly the way i did it and I’m not proud of it. I had grown some but i still had some more growing to do.

The second tarot deck i purchased looked at me when i walked into its shop. I’m not joking. It’s actually a recurring theme with this deck, The Guardian Angel Messages Tarot by Radleigh Valentine (I have it with me as is write this, at 7:44 pm). It will catch my attention when I need to know something.

There’s a blonde angel in purple robes on the cover that fixes you with a rather pointed stare when she needs to. The author chose well to be honest. I bought it for 44 dollars and a couple of scents, completely on impulse in a crystal shop in the artsy part of the city.