#and not just to kaladin but to tien too

[shallanspren]

i thought once i became a parent, i would relate to more parent characters more. and i do to some extent. but i also just hate some of them even more. like? why are you that way to your kids??? fuck off.

[radiantmists]

i didn't want to add this to the post because it would add a bit too much seriousness to a good meme, but i do think it raised an interesting point. because obviously kaladin didn't forget that racism existed in that moment, he was confronting one of his primary oppressors, the guy who betrayed him multiple times over specifically because he was darkeyed.

what kaladin does forget in that moment is the pervasiveness of racism, and the extent to which it's baked into his society's institutions. and i think it makes a lot of sense for kaladin specifically to forget that (even though he absolutely knows it intellectually)!

because kaladin has always been an 'exception'. his father was a doctor, much higher nahn than anyone else in the town. kaladin is as close to literate as an alethi man is allowed to be-- more literate than adolin, presumably than elhokar. marrying the child of the citylord and having lighteyed children-- theoretically 'escaping racism', though of course that wouldn't have worked out too well in practice-- was not only thinkable but likely, unlike the false hope of defeating a shardbearer that others cling to.

before roshone, kaladin did suffer from racism-- but less than others, and in a way where he was led to believe that it was escapable and conditional.

and many of the worst things that happened to him went against the rules of alethi society. roshone was corrupt, and should never have been promoted. kaladin was immune to the draft due to his apprenticeship, and tien was young enough that choosing him was taboo if not forbidden.

similarly, tien being sent to the front lines was the sort of tactic that 'honorable' alethi norms like the codes of war would have considered reprehensible.

and of course when he saved amaram and defeated the shardbearer, the rules of society dictated that he be rewarded; i imagine choosing to give the shard to amaram should, from an honorable man, have been rewarded with pay and retirement for his men or something similar.

kaladin's enslavement was not just dishonorable by alethi social norms, but illegal.

and the kholins, up to this point, have signaled commitment both to the law and to those alethi social honor codes. and while they (especially elhokar) have been casually prejudiced, they've also welcomed the idea of kaladin as the captain of the cobalt guard, suggesting that they aren't so racist that they can't sometimes see reason.

kaladin not realizing the boon was only for lighteyes was a little naive of him, but him expecting the legal system to work for him-- when he took the issue directly to someone who knew him, respected him, and owed him the lives of his whole family-- is very understandable in the light of his experiences.

kaladin is the kind of person from a minority who was raised genuinely thinking that if they behave well, they might experience some prejudice, but no door is truly, systemically closed to them. he's had some knocks to that belief (and is kind of a suspicious person), but in the first part of words of radiance the world seems to be trying to reassure him that not all lighteyes are (too) racist, that the system is not (inherently) unjust, that he's simply been the victim of some of the more prejudiced fringes of lighteyed society.

and then the rug gets pulled out from under him.

because no amount of familiarity or respect will make elhokar side with him over one of the good old boys, no accomplishment will allow a darkeyes to challenge a lighteyes, and no amount of good behavior or education will make kaladin white lighteyed.

but a shardblade would.

...right?

i think this and the immediate aftermath, with adolin giving kaladin a blade and him giving it to moash, could have been a really interesting examination of that idea, because i don't think that lighteyed society would have smoothly accepted either of them. even by rhythm of war, we get hints that kaladin occupies a weird social place where he technically has a lighteyed rank but he seems to have a complicated relationship with 'other' lighteyes (obviously made particularly weird by him being a radiant and because most of the lighteyes he interacts with heavily are also royalty, but he doesn't quite seem to be equals with most of them).

but i don't think sanderson quite understood the experience he was writing about with kaladin, and he set out to write a series about an apocalypse. and so kaladin's complicated-- but not unrealistic-- perspective on alethi casteism will go unexamined.

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters: Would They Be Good at Pulling Pranks?

Yesterday was April 1, aka April Fools Day, a holiday that encourages people to pull pranks. So that got me wondering: if such a holiday existed in the Cosmere, would various Cosmere characters be good at this whole "pranking" thing?

1. Syl: Yes, but only of one type

Syl is a prankster in canon: she likes to stick things together! Your shoes to your floor, your hand to your spear, your butt to your chair...so yes, she is great at pranks. I bet if April Fool's Day existed in the Cosmere, she would be an absolute menace.

2. Lopen: Depends on who you ask...

I think Lopen's pranks would be like his jokes: not intended to be mean, but actually kinda mean. In Dawnshard, Lopen came to learn that his jokes were not universally fun and beloved, and I feel like his journey with pranks would necessarily be similar. He'd love pulling them, though!

3. Wayne: Yes, and everyone has fun

Sanderson once said that the difference between Lopen & Wayne is that Wayne can read the room. So I think Wayne would not only like pranks, but would also be more aware of their effect. Like...if Lopen is tying your shoelaces together when you're late for work, Wayne is putting googly eyes (which he invented) on all of your family photos while you're out.

4. Sarene: Yes (mostly against Iadon)

Sarene, Miss Malicious-compliance-and-weaponizer-of-other-people's-misogyny, would love an excuse to "accidentally" prank Iadon. She'd either do really obvious pranks and blame them on feminine confusion ("Oh dear I just wanted to clean but I guess washing your portrait ruined it??") or do really sneaky pranks that no one could trace back to her (cut to Sarene secretly weakening the seams on all of Iadon's clothing so that a good sneeze will make them all fall off).

5. Kaladin: Not anymore

We know that in canon Kaladin pulled pranks as a kid--he told Tien to save a lurg to dump in their dad's bath later. But I feel like nowadays, Kaladin is too gloomy and glowering to pull pranks. He might just enjoy Syl's sometimes though...

6. Steris: Maybe they're just not the most creative...

I think that if a Pranking Holiday existed, Steris would study up and do a textbook prank. Like, she's replacing Wax's sugar bowl with salt, and then he drinks a sip of salty coffee, and then she says, "Ah ha! You have been Pranked per the Social Conventions of today's Holiday!" And Wax would be genuinely delighted.

7. Dalinar: No--not at any point in his life

Blackthorn Dalinar would think a prank is "stabbing a guy in the leg and laughing." Modern-day Dalinar would be puzzled that anyone actually does pranks--aren't they, you know, kinda beneath you? The Codes would DEFINITELY not allow them.

8. Sigzil: No, too much paperwork

The Prank Authorization Form is 7 pages and takes 5 weeks for review and approval. Who has that kind of time???

9. Lift: Yes, absolutely

I can see Lift positioning buckets of water over, like, Dalinar's door or slicking the floor right as that merchant she saw yelling at kids walks by. Now--imagine Lift & Syl going on a prank spree together. You're welcome.

10. Hoid: Nobody knows

Hoid put paperclips in the pockets of every single one of Elhokar's outfits. He put edible glitter into Rock's stew, turning it into Glitter Stew. He found one of Kaladin's buttons on the ground and straight-up ate it while making direct eye contact.

But...were any of those things pranks? Were they plots? Were they just Hoid being Wit?

Nobody knows.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I think one of the reasons that kaladin can deal with actively killing as a soldier but not with accidentally (passively) letting someone die as a surgeon is the sense of failure (plus of course the obvious protection aspect and the whole me-vs-them mentality he only really starts to question when Shin joins bridge four, and he starts interacting fairly regularly with a light-eyes he can genuinely respect). dalinar himself said that he "love(s) taking responsibility for things", which is especially clear in the way he still can't quite blame amaram for tien's demise (because he feels like this is his failure, too).

like we can see in the first book that the deaths of the people he swore to protect weigh on him not only because of the dying people per se, but also (and I would argue: especially) because of his FAILURE to keep them alive. he always makes this connection to himself, thinks of their demise in relation to HIS own person and HIS role and HIS failure (cue the whole "stormfather cursed me specifically" thing). like, besides tien and the bridgemen (who we know because they are active current characters), can we truly say much of anything about the people he failed to protect in the past? the only thing we really know is how HE feels about it and how it messed HIM up. but the people themselves??

kaladin just has insane main character syndrome, and everything happening to him (first dark-eyed to have the rank of a light-eyed, one of the only surgebinders, guy able to survive multiple fights with actual shardbearers, etc etc) do the opposite of helping him dissuade the notion. I feel like I lost the plot of my own post. Kal is honorable and a good guy and everything but he is also pretty self-centered? which I actually find really cool because many times people who do objectively good actions are still kind of demonized if they don't do it for the "right" reasons (aka purely 1000% selflessness), but Kal explicitly starts helping the bridgemen not because he actually cares about them but because he needs a reason to not commit suicide. and when he loses bridgemen (especially in the beginning where he barely knows them) he always immediately thinks back to the other people he FAILED to save. he isn't devastated because that person in particular died, he is upset because he is very bad at dealing with his own failures and also terrified that the wretch will use this to lure him back onto the ledge. i mean, he loathes failure so much he was resigned to never see his parents again (who he clearly loves a lot and who he knows would welcome him back with open arms; it's his own shame that he can't confront)

he helps people primarily to try to make up for the failures of the past, an attempt to dissuade the guilt and shame eating him alive 24/7 (which of course never works because guilt is a very unreasonable emotion and as long as he doesn't change his mindset and confronts his own beliefs about himself and the world it will never go away.)

"do the fire sprin create the flames or are they attracted by them?" of course syl was compelled to follow kaladin around. dude keeps actively (even if semi-unconsciously) putting himself into the same role and situation over and over again in the hopes that if he can only succeed one time it will somehow redeem him for his past failures. literally every single thing Kal does and thinks and believes is rooted in the fact that he blames himself for tien's demise. he needs to somehow redeem himself in order to be able to live with himself but at the same time he can never be redeemed because letting tien die is an unforgivable crime and yet he needs to make it up somehow because the wretch is always in the back of his mind and he's actually terrified of it but he is equally scared of actually somehow managing to get over this sense of guilt and failure because wouldn't forgiving himself mean he thinks tien is less important than his own stupid (and, in his mind, deserved) feelings?

that guy is so not over his brother's death it actually isn't funny anymore 💀 please get that dude some fucking therapy 😭😭

[illegiblehandwriting1]

i can't remember if an interaction ever happens like this, (probably) but imagine Kaladin being as stoic as ever, he's on duty (idk if this is during Words of Radiance or just before Rhythm of War, so he's either in the warcamps or Urithiru probably. If warcamps then its after the chasms. actually yknow what this is both fanfic and random bullshit, i do what i want and say fuck canon)

So he's standing guard like he's supposed to, except Shallan decided that a productive use of her time is to go and bother him. Radiant thinks it's rude and the respect she has for both him and any soldier means she hates this, but Veil is totally in on it.

So she's just pestering him for his entire shift, and he's standing there, not looking at her, completely dead-faced, offering the occasional clipped answer, and generally being incredibly annoyed, but at some point, she says something either humorous, heartwarming, or both, and without really thinking about it, just COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUSLY, his face breaks into a small little grin. Not a sarcastic one or a bitter one, just a little smile of joy that breaks through his perpetual storm. The moment he realizes, of course, he very quickly hides it, but of course Shallan catches it.

And she just gasps playfully but also genuinely surprised, but she keeps it lighthearted in the hopes she sees it again. "Storms, what was that? Captain Kaladin? Was that a smile from the Captain Kaladin, whose scowl could curdle milk?"

And he glares at her, because he wasn't smiling and he was on duty and frankly, she had been annoying him for ages and he wanted her to shove off. But she grins up at him.

"Oh, come on, Captain, don't make all the troops run off in fear now! You have a lovely smile, it's wonderful!"

And she pokes him in the side, just to get a little twitch and a deeper frown.

"Aw, that usually works on my brothers. Well then. I'll have to figure out something else, won't I?" Her mischievous expression softens a little, and she just tells him, "You really do have a lovely smile. I don't know why you try to hide it." And she just sits down and spends the rest of his shift telling jokes and ridiculing passerby, no longer trying to annoy him, but just there to keep him some company and maybe make him smile again.

And if a grin broke through his stormy facade every once in a while, well then, she wouldn't point it out. She just took a Memory and carried on chattering loudly about axehounds and lavis polyps and how Adolin had worn his shirt backwards and that lady's hat over there looked like a pile of cremlings had eaten too much and died on top of it, hoping that smile might stick.

(Later, Shallan finds Adolin and runs up to him, screaming, "I MADE KALADIN SMILE!" and Adolin's like "WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY'S GOOD NAME, I DIDN'T KNOW HE KNEW HOW TO DO THAT" and they just freak out about it and generally make fun of him. That night, Kaladin has a dream about Tien and wakes up crying, only to wonder what reminded him of the time Tien had visited him in the clinic for hours on end, talking and keeping him company as he tried and failed to get his stitches as perfect as his father's.)

[sorchasolas]

Remember when i found out Kaladin had top surgery scars (i didnt put them there) and kept them

TIEN HAS THEM TOO

THATS JUST.. IT WAS JUST THERE. FROM HIS AUTO GENERATED AVATAR

If i had a nickel…..

[windrunnered]

For the ask game: 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately In terms of writing and stuff? Tien, a LOT. Been doing an rp with Nat that has taken up like, 70% of my brainpower at all times. Practically, Tien has become my own OC. I have his spren named, I know his proficiencies, what his life was like in Shadesmar, (+that he was in Shadesmar at all) my longest HOO YEAH. 

In real life news, I’m going to my sister’s friend’s wedding on Saturday! And we’re so excited for her. I got a pretty pink dress to wear, too!

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

been writing an Amaram/Kaladin thing called sculpting me still (wip title) so here is the paragraph/s

“It doesn’t feel all of that life changing,” Kaladin says. In even just his undershirt he feels bare from the intensity of Amaram’s eyes on him. “It feels like just another battle field; I’m even against my opponents in a way I usually wasn’t. It feels…” “You’ve always felt so guilty about being alive, Kaladin,” Amaram says. “Embrace the fight. Embrace the conquest. It is your divine right.”  Kaladin recoils visibly.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I was gonna go for “Stormblessed” or something similar, windrunner/windrunners/stormblessd etc, but windrunnered happened to not be taken so I chose that! He’s my blorbiest blorbo, after all. My little meow meow kitty fuck /affectionate

Send me a truth or dare.

[tbookblurbs]

Rhythm of War - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #4)

4.75/5 - Kaladin :(((; love the new POVs; quantum physics in a fantasy world?

SPOILERS below!

The time skip before this book caught me by surprise (again...) but I'm not opposed to it, especially since it seems like characters have grown and changed during that time. You can't say that for every series. That said, I do think that it leaves out some potentially important scenes, such as those where Adolin and Renarin find out their father is directly responsible for the death of their mother.

Kaladin's arc is, as per usual, my favorite in the book. He's got PTSD, he's seven feet tall, he's inventing group therapy, who's doing it like him? Multiple of his scenes move me to tears however. It's an incredibly real struggle with clinical depression on top of his PTSD and experiencing multiple lifetimes' worth of trauma in less than five years, that culminates in a passive suicide attempt. His final "hallucination" with Tien in the storm is everything to me.

I also loved Venli as a new POV character. She's so flawed as a character, and that makes her much more interesting to me. I also think that she's much more understandable/easier to empathize with in her destructive actions, even as they bring the end of the world, because of her positioning in the world. She has very natural desires that are twisted against what is good for her and her people, and I would argue she's taking too much responsibility for her part in the Everstorm. Yes, she's selfish, but no more so than any of the other lighteyes in this novel.

The other major highlight for me was the science in this novel. Much of Sanderson's descriptions about "axons" are just quantum physics and atoms, as I'm sure many people picked up. As somebody with a physics background, seeing these different ways of exploring and explaining things like quantum entanglement and seeing it actually matter in a fantasy novel is like having my cake and eating it too. Navani's work with Light (and her homoerotic relationship with Raboniel) are very well done.

Things I don't entirely like and the reason for the .25 point-dock are Navani bonding the Sibling, and Dalinar as a whole to be honest. With the former, as much as I like Navani, I really wanted to see Rlain as a Bondsmith. He is actively trying to be a unifier in a way that Navani is not, though Navani and her fabrial knowledge is very well matched with the Sibling.

With respect to Dalinar, while I still find him an interesting character, the things I didn't like about him in past books come out in full force here. He's overbearing, he micromanages, he believes that his vision (and only his) is the correct path forward, he can't accept disagreement, he holds everyone to standards he himself doesn't meet, etc. He also doesn't face any significant challenge to those beliefs in this book, aside from Jasnah verbally challenging him. I also just don't understand how Renarin and Adolin continue to see Dalinar as "the most honorable man they know" when, and this is explicit in the text, he is not. I also don't love the deal he makes, but that's a smaller issue I suppose.

Now that Wind and Truth are coming out this year, I interested to see where Sanderson ends this final chapter. Hoping to see more of Lift and a less-depressed Kaladin!

[hahahahawk]

The Wretch

(Way of Kings re-read)

((Between re-reads I forget how slow Shallan’s story is in this book. Why isn’t she poisoned yet?))

Storms, how on the nose is it that Kaladin is climbing down into a dark chasm rn? 🤣

As soon as Teft says “journey before destination” I tear up. This is re-read behavior, but it’s the same corny rush of feeling as when someone in a movie or TV show says the name of whatever you’re watching. “AH! We’ve reached the thesis!”

Sigzil brings the whole litany, but it’s Teft that kicks it off. The subtlety is incredible. I’m over here getting swept up in the emotion of knowing everything this unlocks, and Bridge Four is swept up discussing the legends of the lost Radiants, and Teft is playing innocent (“I didn’t bring them up, I just heard this saying once”).

In the moment you completely overlook TEFT FUCKING KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. Fucking firemoss addict leaving BREADCRUMBS for his dense-as-mud bridge leader.

Teft’s patience is legendary. Motherfucking ice king. He’s using trickle-truth for good‽‽

I’m sure some of his caution is uncertainty, but I think most of it is knowing that Kaladin has to find Radiance in himself, rather than having Radiance thrust upon him.

Syl, on the other hand, I believe that when she says “I like that [journey before destination] saying” doesn’t quite remember that it’s part of her.

Kal stumbles into the darkness with only a sliver of sky visible overhead. It’s nice that it’s described as a ribbon, calling up a connection to one of the forms Syl takes.

One more important bit, then some random reactions under the cut.

In her talk with Kaladin in the dark, Syl counters one of his despairing thoughts with “maybe you’re right. so what?”

That technique is something I’ve found very important with my own mental health struggles over the years. Even before discovering the Cosmere, I adopted a similar form of self-talk to help me with the burden of my own existence. It has helped to reframe thoughts such as “nobody cares about me” from having the subtext of “so why should I do anything?” to the more positive subtext of “so I can do what I want without worrying what others think of me”

I’ve adopted “so what?” into a form of mental judo that lifts the burden of my thought patterns from being negative to being neutral. I stop trying to contradict my internal bully—not to internalize what it’s saying—just stop arguing, save my energy. It lets me spend more time and attention on the things I can accomplish. Moving forward, step by step. Or just giving myself the grace to rest.

Other notes from this chapter—

+ it’s interesting to me that Kal still hyped his spear skills up so much. In my experience, a self-pity loop of despair usually comes with devaluing one’s own abilities. This reader doth project too much?

+ Syl “choosing” the moment of climbing the ladder down into the chasm to have such clear memories of both her past and Kaladin’s. I know it’s her bond with him that brings back her self-ness, but there’s something about his (metaphorical) dark place that seems to urge her to focus, get more concentrated and *real* as she chases him.

+ Teft is the first to light his torch when Bridge Four reaches the chasm floor, and Kaladin lights his torch from Teft’s. 🥹 I’m sure this is another case of “it’s not foreshadowing, it’s just practical”, but Teft having what Kal needs twice in this chapter is hard to overlook.

+ I lol’d when in a chapter called “the wretch”, someone throws up, and Sando says “wretched”. As if that was the turning point.

+ Lopen’s absence is conspicuous, but understandable. Rock is plenty of comic relief for this chapter. Or do they not make a one armed Herdazian climb up and down a ladder?

+ Scar: Should we just let the voidbringers steal our hearts? Maybe they’re just misunderstood

Me: (💖Rlain 💖)

+ I really like that Kaladin finds a rock, then “tangentially” thinks about Tien, leaving it up to the reader to remember Tien’s love for rocks. It also allows Kal to drop the rock (realistic) instead of clinging to it and trying to make it a symbol (melodramatic)

[the-vibes-are-off]

The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 16-19

link to contents page - https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/96xd9ohihrzs

FINALLY I woke up this morning with some semblance to get out of bed before 8am and actually make the most out of my day. Essays are going hella slow and I honestly think the weight of dealing with them is just draining me hard, I cannot wait to get them tf out of the way; not to mention I’ve just spent £70 on Shakespeare for the coming semester :’) yay so excited for them to arrive today ;-;. 

Unfortunately, as the next semester approaches I imagine the frequency of these posts will decline as I’ll have to reduce my TWOK reading to 1 chapter a day at most in order to fit in all my uni reading. Which I am so gutted about because honestly I have enjoyed reading this chunk so much and the thought of having to slow down makes me so sad :(((.

Spoiler Free Zone:

This section does so much in the way of widening the scope to fill out the history of the plot and I’m living for it. Seeing more about Kaladin’s history AND like fckn ancient history as well???? I am so in.

I feel like this section has really got me into the swing of things more. With TWOK largely lying outside of the genre I normally read and not having the motivation of reading it like out of necessity for my degree, I was worried that I’d lose motivation but this section has really solidified my interest to the fullest !!

*** SPOILERS AHEAD***

Spoiler Zone: 

I have loved finding out more about Kal in the flashback sections and this has not changed. 1. Ofc Mr. Edgy Boy is a simp and fought to impress a girl just ofc 2. and on top of that, ofc he’s secretly soft round the edges, especially for his brother. The bit when Tien gives him a sick rock ??? Bye I would smile too what a cute interaction. Bit of a RIP that he then like immediately got into a fight, over some juicy Shardblade lore nonetheless? Brando feeding us fr. 

I love that he has Kaladin also thinking what everyone else is thinking in observing Sadeas as a pompous ass xD. It read so similar to what I love about some of my fave English Lit books in the critique of the upper classes and I will forever appreciate it (fuck the tories :p).

Then again tho, as ever, Brando refuses Kaladin a break and has his men dropping like flies bro. Ik he was trained as a surgeon but mf is not a miracle worker cut him some slack. 

Then onto the Kholins and my goodness these have to have been my fave chapters so far. Starting off with the slightly less preferred, but still great, chapter of family revelations like Dalinar not remembering his wife and Renarin’s feelings of inadequacy. My little heart breaks for them :((

BUT THE VISION CHAPTER?????????? Oh my goodness I loved this chapter so much I lit had the whole chapter tabbed as a love this fro the start bc I just knew it was gonna slap so hard. You’re telling me, all in one chapter, I have been given an epic fight with shadow creatures, WITH some of the knights radiant, AND one of them is a woman, all wrapped up in sick fucking lore in a vision of the past brought on by a storm that ends in a mystical voice giving vague advice. Jesus take the wheel.

Tab Count:

Cute <3 - 1

Fights - 3

Sad ;-; - 2

Death - 2

Cool - 1

Wtf wow - 1

Wtf Why - 0

Slay Quotes - 2

Love this! - 2

Hate this >:( - 0

Lore - 3

Tab Total:

Cute <3 - 8

Fights - 8

Sad ;-; - 4

Death - 4

Cool - 6

Wtf wow - 3

Wtf Why - 3

Slay Quotes - 10

Love this! - 10

Hate this >:( - 3

Lore - 5

[tram403]

it’s 2 am and I just wish there was a scene in the way of kings series (idk which book specifically I read them last year) where kaladin and lirin sat down and kaladin was like:

“look, you weren’t a bad father but you weren’t a great one either. i wasn’t tough enough for you when i was child and now im too rough around the edges for you as an adult. i wish things didn’t turn out like this. maybe i would have become a surgeon if i had a choice, but it’s too late for that and im too far into this. maybe things would be better if i never went to war, or tien took my place as your apprentice. you know i shaved for the first time while i was in the army? i had my first sip of alcohol? i gambled for the first time? do you even care about any of that? you’re so caught up in not being able to recognise me that you’re forgetting that i had to grow up at some point, even if it doesn’t agree with your ideals. im sorry im your son. im sorry you had to grieve for tien, but i am here and i worked so hard to be alive. im not sorry for that.”

[pocketramblr]

Ask game: Immediately after touching the first shardblade, Kaladin's eyes became light and never turned dark again, please.

And in a few brief words Gentry, you've done it again: emotionally devasted me forever. Man Kaladin would hate that.

1- so like, Kaladin kills Helaran and picks up the shardblade, his surviving men are all staring at him, so's Amaran and his guys, more soldiers from over the hills turning back to see what's up. Everything hits Kaladin at once, and he throws down the shardblade, stumbling back.

But it's too late. His eyes have been stained silvery grey, a glint to them like the sheen on the blade he dropped.

They'll never be the rich, warm color he inherited from his father again.

2- so like, no one really knows?? What's supposed to happen?? Becoming a shardbearer makes you a lighteyes, but that hasn't happened in living memory, and like?? Kaladin doesn't want the shardblade. But the word of the change spread fast, soldiers all over trying to break closer and see, and yeah, look! Stormblessed does have lighteyes now!

Amaran wants the shardblade, and Kaladin would happily give it to him, but Amaran can't just take it when everyone knows who's supposed to have it, and he can't just kill Kaladin, and he can't enslave him either so?? He's got to Manipulate.

Amaran pulls Kaladin aside, says he remembers him from Hearthstone - how his family was treated unfairly. As a lighteyes, a shardbearer, Amaran can move to have him take Roshone's place, return home, run the town well. It's no shame to be sick of fighting, after so long, and he's a good man, he can run a small unimportant town out of the way of things.

Kaladin thinks about returning home without Tien, about Roshone, about Hearthstone. He remembers Laral dreaming of him becoming a shardbearer so he could marry her- something he hadn't realized at the time and was distinctly uncomfortable with now. He thinks about Lirin's face, when he sees Kaladin.

He thinks about his remaining men, how he'd killed to protect them, more than Amaran.

"No- I need to stay with my men. But I can't carry that shard."

3- and Amaran isn't happy but ok. Ok, he can roll with this. Kaladin has never fought with anything but a spear before, of course he doesn't know how to carry a shard. Of course he needs time to learn, first.

And so he suggests to Kaladin that he take his time. He'll move up in leadership, but still be over his men. He'll learn more tactics, etiquette, swordsmanship, learn to be a proper lighteyes under Amaran's guiding hand.

Kaladin doesn't like it, but it's that or go home, so he agrees.

4- I'm gonna skip months and months of Kaladin training and learning and growing to really hate being lighteyes more and more. He doesn't hate Amaran yet - he hasn't been betrayed by him- but he starts to kinda think like Adolin does: there's just something sus about him. Kaladin learns how to use a sword, and hates that too. He still refuses to pick up a shardblade. Amaran decides he's too guiless to induct into the sons of honor, but that maybe he can get Kaladin to have a breakdown and become a cautionary tale of why to not aspire above ones station.

Kaladin is very careful to not have any public breakdowns, even as he grows more frustrated with higher leaders throwing away men's lives and Amaran's helpless platitudes about it.

"You're a good Vorin man." Kaladin says one day, and Amaran thanks him for the compliment, until it's followed with: "So maybe you should ask why the Almighty wanted my eyes to put me in your circles after my brother died for these wasteful tactics. Maybe you're supposed to learn to listen."

Pretty strong words for someone who's kinda ambivalent about if God exists, but Amaran is just as hypocritical about his religious beliefs as he is everything else, so it doesn't do much to sway him.

It does make Amaran think about making Kaladin some sort of religious figure pawn in his game though, for a few weeks.

Also Kaladin is meeting Syl and bonding with her and hiding learning new stuff with her as this happens.

5- finally, Amaran has had Enough. At this point, Szeth's started slaughtering nobles around the world, so Amaran figures he can kill Kaladin with the shardblade (that Kaladin let Amaran bond to, not wanting to do so himself), and blame his death on the Assassin in White. So he waits for the night of a High Storm, and then sneaks into Kaladin's room.

But Kaladin's not there. He's in the barracks of his old squad, one of the few times he feels normal. Amaran tracks him down, and is perfectly fine killing the men to get to Kaladin.

Kaladin, of course, protests this.

And he summons Syl's blade for the first time, and his eyes change again- still light, but now Windrunner Blue like the clear sky, the color will stay even after Amaran falls dead to the floor and the storm passes and the light slowly fades from Kaladin's skin, and everything in Amaran's army camp erupts into chaos.

[swagspren]

okay on ur hesina post when u mention lap joints and tonsillectomies i am not picking up what ur putting down.... pls explain?

For sure. It’s not actually very deep I think I just phrased it a little incoherently. Lirin and Kaladin specialize in surgery and Tien (carpenters apprentice) and Hesina (odd jobs extraordinaire) know lap joints (below). I understand this may not be of any significance to anyone else, but I had a moment in high school where I read multiple cabinetry books despite no intention to build any cabinets (autism). Anyway I think it is sweet that Hesina and Tien know lap joints and Kaladin and Lirin do not because they are too busy knowing organs

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters in the Hunger Games

As requested by @sweetteaanddragons :)

I haven't read or watched Hunger Games, but I've picked up enough through cultural osmosis...I hope. They're kids in an arena fighting to the death, right? And it's a media circus? And there are 12 districts? And they're poor? I think I got it! Anyway, let's stick Cosmere characters in that arena and see how they do!

By the way, for the most part I'm imagining these characters in their own separate hunger games, not all together, just because I didn't want to imagine all of my blorbos killing each other.

1. Kaladin

After a kid who looks just like Tien literally dies in Kaladin's arms (note: all of the kids look exactly like Tien so far as Kaladin is concerned), Kaladin realizes that the Hunger Games are about kids dying, not about kids surviving. He decides that he has to save everyone, and quickly builds a coalition with the other tributes. They all die anyway and Kaladin wins.

He's not happy about it.

2. Shallan

Sadly, Shallan dies while trying unsuccessfully to convince a stick to become fire. Technically, I think this means the stick wins, but they give the award to some kid instead, for some reason.

3. Adolin

Adolin was doing really well until FOUR other tributes all decided to gang up on him. Even then, he fought like an uncaged tiger and very nearly survived. Nearly. (Hey, uh, most characters die in Hunger Games, right?)

4. Vin

Vin slices through the competition like a vengeful god. Emphasis on vengeful. And god. She barely even lets herself get distracted by the weird love triangle between that guy who wants to make the world better and the one who wants to burn it all down. She's too busy, like, killing everyone.

5. Zane

Zane thinks it's pretty swell to be in this killing arena killing people. What isn't swell is that Vin isn't into him, even AFTER their romantic killing spree. What gives? Anyway. Vin kills him.

6. Elend

Elend has a lot of thoughts about the sociological implications of the games. He does not have a lot of thoughts about how to sharpen a stick into a crude spear and ram it through someone's chest. (Is that what happens in the Hunger Games?) Regardless, I don't think he makes it long... Sorry, Elend.

7. Spook

Spook is a wraith. No one ever sees him coming. Or sees him at all. He keeps receiving supplies and weapons from a mysterious benefactor. At one point he starts wearing a handkerchief over his eyes and killing people by sound alone. I don't really see him winning, tbh (sorry Spook), but he is definitely a crowd favorite who makes it super far.

8. Szeth

"To kill innocent children for the amusement of distant viewers blackens my soul with a stain that shall never be removed. Oh, how I hate this. Oh, how I hate this senseless, senseless killing," Szeth thinks to himself as he constructs an unnecessarily elaborate death trap that kills his opponents horribly. "No one suffers like me," Szeth thinks, over all of the screaming.

9. Renarin

Hey remember when Renarin killed a Thunderclast mostly off-screen? Plus he has future sight. If they've got their powers in this game, then Radiant Renarin is probably taking it all. If not, well...let's not go there.

10. Vivenna

After her sister is sent as a tribute in Vivenna's place, Vivenna enters the Hunger Games anyway, determined to somehow put a stop to them. For example, she takes all the food she can find and hides it in one place so that it will be safe for everyone. She figures out how to predict supply drops to ensure that she always gets to them first. While convinced that she is the Hunger Games Breaker, she is actually the season's most notorious villain and eventually everyone bands together to kill her. Sorry, Vivenna.

11. Kelsier

Kelsier wins the hearts of viewers everywhere, mostly due to his determination to keep smiling no matter what horrors he must survive. He's, like, really good at killing people also. The Survivor, people call him. But when he is shockingly cut down and killed, his death galvanizes a rebellion against, uh, President Snow? Is that the big bad? Anyway. There's a religion about him now.

12. Ann

Oh, Ann. So excited to shoot guns. (Do they have guns?) So excited to shoot bows and arrows maybe. But she can't shoot worth a damn. She has a splendid time and hits no one. And, well, she does not win.

13. Cord

Frankly, Cord wants to win and bring glory and money (?) back home to her people, who desperately need it. I'm assuming the districts get stuff if their person wins. Cord is in it to win it. And she's awfully good with that bow and arrow...

14. Lift

Man, I don't want Lift to be in the Hunger Games! Lift thinks killing is lazy and boring! Sure, she'd be great at hiding in trees and getting food, but I definitely do not see Lift actually being able to kill anyone. Is that allowed? Will she be disqualified?

15. Tress

Tress looks at the Death Arena Whose Purpose Is Death and says, "But is anyone gonna Make Friends about it" and doesn't wait for an answer. Somehow, by the end, basically everyone IS friends. Except for that one person who really did want to kill. But she and Tress went off together and only Tress returned. So.

Basically, Tress's influence ruins the Hunger Games that year. Nobody wants the Friendship Games.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

November 3

I started writing this before Oathbringer, and everything I thought Kaladin's character arc could entail got immediately contradicted in like. the second chapter 💀. but i thought it could be interesting to look back and see what my thoughts were right after the end of WoR, so i stopped listening after the kaladin chapter to finish this with no further context/spoilers

The plan had been to write a fun little bit about kaladin turning into a horsegirl against his will. instead this turned into a short depressing (and, once again, non canon compliant) character study. enjoy?

(short mention of sh)

It must be against my nature, Kaladin thinks. To trust light-eyes.

Or maybe not. He remembers, an eternity ago, how he'd wanted to trust them. Revere them, even. There must be a reason, he had always thought, back when the battlefield had been a place of honor instead of pointless slaughter. There must be a reason they were chosen to rule over us. It would be too unfair if it weren't so, too unbearable.

Maybe trusting light-eyes had been in his nature, once upon a time. That would be worse, he thinks. That would mean they had fucked up so colossally they'd gotten to his genes, changed him in more than just intangible ways. Another unbearable thought.

And yet, he still does it. Forces himself not to second guess every command given to him. Forces himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, Dalinar actually cares.

Trusting a light-eyes takes work, exhaustive and purposeful. It's battling his guts and instincts and every cell in his body. It is another storming war - this time against his own mind and body, and stormfather, Kaladin is so so tired of fighting.

But he does it anyway. Because he has to. Because his bridge depends on it.

"Stop that"

Kaladin quickly hides his hands behind his back, putting on an innocent expression. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything"

Syl does not look convinced. He sighs. It has become a bad habit, of sorts. Most of the time he doesn't even realize he is doing it. He presses his nails into his hand until they tear through his skin and go into his flesh, dripping red as a sign of his success. He'd watch as the small wound immediately closed in front of his very eyes, wondering if the tingling he felt was just a fruit of his imagination. He isn't sure why he still does it. He isn't even looking at his hand most of the time. Habits are hard to kick, he supposes. (That's what he tells himself anyway)

"Is it-?"

"NO!"

He takes a moment to thank the stormfather for the solitude around them. He'd thought that being gawked at as a dark-eyes in the light-eyes' training grounds had been bad. That had been before Syl returned to him and Dalinar officially declared him part of the Radiance, his bright blue eyes proof of the legitimacy of his title. Light-eyes look at him in fear and dark-eyes look at him in reverence and he doesn't know how to tell them he isn't worthy of either.

Kaladin tries to shake off his thoughts. What is the point of fleeing into the maze-like tunnels if his own brain betrays him? He looks down and just manages to stop himself from leaving another half-moon-shaped wound on his palm. Storms, things were supposed to be better now. But he is so damned exhausted even with stormlight running through his veins and the stormed Everstorm is summoning Voidbringers everywhere and the other highprinces refuse to listen and of course there are also his storming eyes-

"Kaladin-". Kal glares at the small-ish woman floating beside him, and Syl falls blessedly silent.

He is not used to this, not anymore. He has - rather foolishly, if he may say so - gotten used to talking with Syl about everything. And it had been great, as long as it had lasted, at least: articulating his problems into something more concrete, allowing himself to listen to someone much less jaded than him (than the person the world had forced him to become), sometimes even being able to laugh about his woes. (Something only Tien-)

So it hurt that much more when he couldn't talk to her. Not right now. Not about this.

("What does Dalinar need to do for you to trust him?", she'd demand, and he wouldn't have an answer. Because Dalinar had already done more than he'd ever expected from someone of his Status. And yet he couldn't. And all the while, she would pointedly stare at his eyes. His light blue eyes. The sign of his betrayal, for everyone to see.)

She didn't get it, not really. And how would he be able to explain it? How he himself was the most damning evidence for his mistrust?

(Roshone had sworn to protect Hearthstone when he became its citylord, only to do his best to make the life of the only surgeon - arguably the most important man in the village - a living hell. Amaram swore to protect Tien, protect his people, only to order them all to be slaughtered, all the while watching with a satisfied smile on his lips. Sadeas had sworn to fight with Dalinar and Adolin, only to abandon them to death. Kaladin had sworn to protect Bridge Four - the family he didn't deserve but had gained anyway- only for Moash-)

(He can not look past it. How it took his willingness to betray Moash - to betray Bridge Four, the very same he swore to protect with everything he had - for his eyes to lighten. How was he supposed to trust Dalinar when he couldn't trust Molash? When he couldn't even trust himself?)

But still, he tried. He made an active effort not to doubt every word that came out of Dalinar's mouth. He listened to his orders and did what he had sworn himself to never do again: he trusted him. He trusted Dalinar would keep his promises, even if they were sometimes unsaid, even if his eyes almost looked white if the light hit them just right. It went against every instinct he'd been taught, but Stormfather he was doing it. And the perhaps most incredible outcome of this situation was that he hadn't regretted it. Not yet. (He is still waiting for the moment it'll happen. Sometimes it feels like the anticipation will kill him)

Maybe one day he will be able to look into a mirror again. He thinks he'd like that.

[thehalfbloodfreak]

any favourite cosmere moments so far?

Too many to count but pretty much any moment involving Kaladin! I also feel the same way above Vin & Kelsier. I just really like reading the action sequences!

RoW and Mistborn spoilers below!!

Right now I think of Kaladin saying the fourth ideal as my favorite because that’s what I’ve read most recently read. It was such a good and powerful scene. Honestly all of book four and Kaladin’s struggle and story was amazing! But just picturing him diving from the tower unsure to even himself if he’s reaching for his father or hoping for it all to just end- and then the image of Syl full sized and holding onto him, embracing him- Oh it’s SO Good!! And then the scene with Tien 🥲

I also love in Mistborn when Elend and Vin dance, and when Elend sits at her table with all his books, and when Vin fights the Inquisitors in book 3

Oh also Kelsier’s “death” scene!! (I remember being mad about it for years but it’s fine because our boy is too dramatic to die)