#and not have this unhealthy push for maintaining a streak

[noegrets]

Denise: The newest lessons in Italian I've gotten to on Duolingo seem to be US English sentences translated into the Italian language. They are not Italian sentences.

I mean this in the sense of... there are sentences are talking about a wedding reception and complimenting the grandmother of the bride... this is sitcom-level typical for US weddings, but that's not how weddings typically go in Italy, and Rosy had never heard the word Duolingo was using for "wedding reception" before. Likewise, the sentences are talking about going off to college and moving in with other students in a dorm room... and Rosy tells me that more typically in Italy, students rent apartments together; there aren't actually dormitories like that. There was a whole section of sentences from a job interview, and Rosy said that interviews are absolutely not so confrontational in Italy. And if I were to ever say the sentence of inviting colleagues out for happy hour, I'll at best sound like an US-assimilationist asshole from Milan; that doesn't really happen in the rest of Italy, it's moreso a US thing.

Previously, the sentences in Duolingo seemed to be at least some degree reflective of Italian culture. There were sentences about how most people vacation in August, and how Easter in Italy don't involve looking for eggs like in the US, but rather, in Italy, there are different festivities. When learning a language, I should be learning the culture at the same time. It is pretty pointless to learn from US English sentences translated into Italian by an AI. I want to learn from Italian sentences that a real Italian person might actually say.

Duolingo's treatment of the Italian language is already bad enough. I'm sure it's even worse for more endangered languages from more endangered cultures. What is gained by "preserving" a twisted version of the language that is just US English in an AI-generated trenchcoat?

Decided that once I get to a 1000 day streak on Duolingo I’m breaking up with that fucking owl and deleting the app.

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank Character Analysis

Why a pairing of Kiara and JJ would hardly work under real-life circumstances

Screenwriters love messy romantic storylines because drama sells and keeps us all on the edge of our seats. Complicated relationships filled with "OMG, did that just happen?" moments push characters to grow and show off their deeper sides, making them more relatable. Plus, they mirror our own love life dramas (or lack thereof) and give us an escape from reality. The whole "will they or won’t they" vibe keeps us binge-watching season after season, completely invested in their rollercoaster romance.

But let's get real for a sec—these chaotic love stories shouldn't be your blueprint for a real-life relationship.

That being said, it might not be the popular opinion, but Kiara would be the worst match for JJ. In real life, their relationship would quickly go downhill, and here's why:

JJ's been crushing on Kiara since Season 1. His feelings have been solid, even while she was off exploring things with John B. and Pope even though she often treated him badly, commenting on almost all of his actions with sarcasm and disregard.

There are a lot of examples, especially in the first two seasons, where Kiara is being disrespectful and sarcastic towards JJ. It actually seems like she doesn't care for him at all

That's why Kiara’s sudden interest in JJ, after her flings with the other guys, raises some eyebrows. Is she really into JJ, or is this about rebelling against her parents or wanting a “fixer-upper” project?

JJ and Kiara would make a perfect example for a toxic relationship

Kiara's and JJ's core personalities and backgrounds clash in fundamental ways. JJ, with his ADHD-like tendencies, impulsive nature, and carefree, rebellious attitude, often acts without thinking, seeking thrills and living in the moment. This behavior is in stark contrast to Kiara’s strong morals, rule-following disposition, and the disciplined upbringing she received from her wealthy household and good education. While JJ's spontaneity might seem exciting, it conflicts with Kiara’s structured approach to life.

Kiara is feeding into JJ's insecurities

She tends to be judgmental, especially towards behaviors that deviate from her values, which can make it hard for her to fully understand or accept JJ’s way of coping with his challenges.

JJ grew up in an abusive household with a neglectful and violent father. This messed up his self-esteem, emotional health, and understanding of relationships. He’s conditioned to accept unhealthy dynamics and put others first, often at his own expense.

Kiara, on the other hand, had a cushy, stable upbringing with overprotective parents. This gave her strong convictions and a clear sense of right and wrong but also left her with high expectations and a need to maintain a certain image.

Kiara’s strong will and idealism can sometimes make her judgmental and inflexible, especially toward those who don't see things her way.

Opposites attract: the more differences, the better the story

She might struggle to fully get the depth of JJ's trauma and how it shapes his behavior. His impulsiveness and reckless behavior, driven by a need to survive his trauma, often clash with Kiara's moral convictions. His actions aren't about seeking admiration but about finding safety and acceptance.

JJ's and Kiara's values are constantly clashing

JJ’s low self-esteem, need for validation, and history of emotional neglect make him vulnerable to falling into the same victim role he’s known all his life. Kiara’s strong personality and occasional self-righteous streak could unintentionally exploit JJ’s compulsive selflessness and lack of boundaries.

Is there really more to the chemistry between JJ and Kiara other than just physical attraction?

So, unless JJ takes some serious time for personal growth, gets to know himself and his boundaries, and learns what healthy relationships actually look like, jumping into a romance with Kiara too soon is basically setting himself up to fall right back into the emotional traps he’s trying to escape.

So, what do you think about all this? Would you disagree or do you have another constellation in mind that would suit a character like JJ better (Sarah?). Let me know your thoughts!

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Global hunger enters a grim ‘new normal’ (Washington Post) While the fact that there wasn’t a major increase in global hunger between 2021 and 2022 could be viewed as a positive sign, there are a lot more negative trends to be gleaned from the United Nations’ annual flagship report on global food security, which was released last week. The U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) estimated that between 691 million and 783 million people faced hunger last year. The midrange of that calculation, about 735 million, is 122 million more people going hungry than in 2019, before the coronavirus pandemic shook the world. This year’s report—“The State of Food Security and Nutrition in the World 2023”—also found that nearly 30 percent of humanity, or roughly 2.4 billion people, lacked access to adequate food in 2022, while an even greater number—3.1 billion people—were unable to afford a healthy diet. It projected that by the end of the decade, despite significant poverty alleviation initiatives, some 600 million people will still be chronically undernourished, a blow to U.N.-outlined goals of eliminating hunger by 2030. Qu Dongyu, director general of the FAO, said in a statement. “This is the ‘new normal’ where climate change, conflict, and economic instability are pushing those on the margins even further from safety.”

Air quality warnings return in U.S. as Canada deploys troops for wildfires (Washington Post) Canada deployed its military to help overwhelmed local authorities and emergency workers fight intensifying wildfires, which have burned nearly 25 million acres of the country’s land so far this year and prompted authorities in parts of the United States to issue air quality warnings. The Canadian Armed Forces and Canadian Coast Guard will deploy to British Columbia, in the west of the country, after the province submitted a request for federal assistance that the Canadian government approved, it said Sunday. Smoke from the fires turned the sky orange in parts of the U.S. East Coast last month, prompting local health authorities to issue air quality warnings and ask people, especially the most vulnerable, to stay indoors. Parts of the U.S. Northeast, Midwest and South, as well as the Great Plains, were forecast to reach air quality levels Monday that are unhealthy for vulnerable people, including Pittsburgh, Chicago and Nashville, according to AirNow, a tracker maintained by a group of U.S. government agencies. Parts of Iowa and cities on the northeast border with Canada—including Cleveland and Buffalo—were expected to experience “unhealthy�� air quality levels, according to AirNow. Louisville, the most populous city in Kentucky, was under an Air Quality Alert on Monday.

Rumbles in Alaska (1440) Alaskans spent the weekend experiencing an uptick in seismic activity, with a series of volcanic eruptions from the remote Shishaldin Volcano Friday followed by a 7.2 magnitude earthquake late Saturday morning off the southwestern coast. The volcano is nestled in the middle of the sparsely populated Aleutian Islands, part of the archipelago making up the Alaskan peninsula. Shishaldin started exhibiting low-intensity eruptions Tuesday but began Friday with a burst that sent an ash cloud nearly 40,000 feet in the air. Meanwhile, the Saturday earthquake was the strongest to hit the area since an 8.2 magnitude quake in 2021. The region sits along the northeastern ridge of the “Ring of Fire”—a set of tectonic boundaries that encircle the Pacific basin, giving rise to numerous volcanoes and frequent earthquakes along its perimeter.

Weeks of extreme heat are straining aging infrastructure. (WSJ) A streak of 110-degree days is frying Phoenix, and an unrelenting heat wave is punishing Texas and other parts of the South. Some of the hardest-hit areas will face hotter temperatures in the coming days, forecasters say. The heat wave is testing the U.S. electric grid, which is being asked to deliver more power for running air conditioners without much of a break for routine maintenance. The North American Electric Reliability Corporation, a nonprofit that monitors the health of the bulk power system, says large portions of the U.S. could face blackouts this summer.

American Paychecks Grow, Europeans Become Poorer (WSJ) Americans’ growing paychecks surpassed inflation for the first time in two years, providing some financial relief to workers, while complicating the Federal Reserve’s efforts to tame price increases. Inflation-adjusted average hourly wages rose 1.2% in June from a year earlier, according to the Labor Department. That marked the second straight month of seasonally adjusted gains after two years when workers’ historically elevated raises were erased by price increases. Europeans, meanwhile, are facing a new economic reality: They are becoming poorer. The French are eating less foie gras and drinking less red wine. Spaniards are stinting on olive oil. Finns are being urged to use saunas on windy days when energy is less expensive. German meat and milk consumption has fallen to the lowest level in three decades. With consumption spending in free fall, Europe tipped into recession at the start of the year, reinforcing a sense of relative economic, political and military decline.

A National Treasure, Tarnished: Can Britain Fix Its Health Service? (NYT) Fifteen hours after she was taken out of an ambulance at Queen’s Hospital with chest pains and pneumonia, Marian Patten was still in the emergency room, waiting for a bed in a ward. Mrs. Patten, 78, was luckier than others who arrived at this teeming hospital, east of London: She had not yet been wheeled into a hallway. For months, doctors at Queen’s have been forced to treat people in a corridor because of a lack of space. As the ambulances kept pulling up outside, the doctor supervising the E.R., Darryl Wood, said it was only a matter of time before nurses would begin diverting patients into the overflow space again. “We’re in that mode every day now because the N.H.S. doesn’t have the capacity to deal with all the patients,” Dr. Wood said. As it turns 75 this month, the N.H.S., a proud symbol of Britain’s welfare state, is in the deepest crisis of its history: flooded by aging, enfeebled patients; starved of investment in equipment and facilities; and understaffed by doctors and nurses, many of whom are so burned out that they are either joining strikes or leaving for jobs abroad. Interviews over three months with doctors, nurses, patients, hospital administrators and medical analysts depict a system so profoundly troubled that some experts warn that the health service is at risk of collapse.

Riots in France Highlight a Vicious Cycle Between Police and Minorities (NY) Years before France was inflamed with anger at the police killing of a teenager during a traffic stop, there was the notorious Théo Luhaka case. Mr. Luhaka, 22, a Black soccer player, was cutting through a known drug-dealing zone in his housing project in a Paris suburb in 2017 when the police swept in to conduct identity checks. Mr. Luhaka was wrestled to the ground by three police officers, who hit him repeatedly and sprayed tear gas in his face. When it was over, he was bleeding from a four inch tear in his rectum, caused by one of the officers’ expandable batons. Mr. Luhaka’s housing project, and others around Paris, erupted in fury. He was held up as a symbol of what activists had been denouncing for years: discriminatory policing that violently targets minority youth, particularly in France’s poor areas. And there was a sense that, this time, something would change. Instead, the relationship between the country’s minority populations and its heavy-handed police force worsened, many experts say, as evident in the tumultuous aftermath of the killing in late June of Nahel Merzouk, 17, a French citizen of Algerian and Moroccan descent. After multiple violent, publicized encounters involving the police, a pattern emerged: Each episode led to an outburst of rage and demands for change, followed by a pushback from increasingly powerful police unions and dismissals from the government. “It’s a repeating cycle, unfortunately,” said Lanna Hollo, a human rights lawyer in Paris who has worked on policing issues for 15 years. “What characterizes France is denial. There is a total denial that there is a structural, systemic problem in the police.”

Wind-fanned wildfires force thousands to flee seaside resorts outside Greek capital (AP) Wildfires outside Athens forced thousands to flee seaside resorts, closed highways and gutted vacation homes Monday, as high winds pushed flames through hillside scrub and pine forests parched by days of extreme heat. Authorities issued evacuation orders for at least six seaside communities as two major wildfires edged closer to summer resort towns and gusts of wind hit 70 kph (45 mph). The army, police special forces and volunteer rescuers freed retirees from their homes, rescued horses from a stable, and helped monks flee a monastery threatened by the flames.

Russia blames Ukraine for attack on key Crimea military supply bridge that kills 2 (AP) Traffic on a key military supply bridge connecting Crimea to Russia’s mainland came to a standstill Monday after one of its sections was blown up, killing two people and wounding their daughter. Russian officials blamed the attack on Ukraine, but Kyiv officials didn’t openly admit it. The strike on the 19-kilometer (12-mile) Kerch Bridge was carried out by two Ukrainian sea drones, Russia’s National Anti-Terrorist Committee said. Ukrainian officials didn’t claim responsibility for the attack, which is the second major strike on the bridge since October, when a truck bomb blew up two of its sections. The $3.6 billion bridge is the longest in Europe and is crucial for enabling Russia’s military operations in southern Ukraine during the almost 17-month-long war.

Russia halts wartime deal that allows Ukraine to ship grain (AP) Russia said Monday it has halted an unprecedented wartime deal that allows grain to flow from Ukraine to countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia where hunger is a growing threat and high food prices have pushed more people into poverty. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov announced halting the deal in a conference call with reporters, adding that Russia will return to the deal after its demands are met. “When the part of the Black Sea deal related to Russia is implemented, Russia will immediately return to the implementation of the deal,” Peskov said. Russia has complained that restrictions on shipping and insurance have hampered its exports of food and fertilizer—also critical to the global food chain.

China’s youth unemployment hits record high (BBC) As China’s post-pandemic recovery falters, last month 21.3% of 16 to 24 year olds in the nation’s urban areas were unemployed. The second largest economy only grew 0.8% in the three months, with demand for Chinese goods falling while local government debt and the housing market skyrocketed.

13 found dead in flooded tunnel as South Korean storm toll rises to 40 (Washington Post) Thirteen bodies were recovered from a tunnel in South Korea as the flooding death toll across the country rose to at least 40. Cars were trapped in a tunnel underpass in Osong near the city of Cheongju, about 70 miles south of Seoul, when the Miho River burst its banks on Saturday. More than 10 vehicles including a bus were flooded and 13 people were killed, with nine rescued at the scene, the Ministry of Public Administration and Safety said in a statement on Monday. Up to 23 inches of rain has fallen on South Korea since Thursday, triggering landslides and road collapses, wiping out crops, and damaging homes and other buildings.

[sugar-kisser]

Hot Coffee « Choi San (RW)

original warnings: none word count: 3359

You look up from the ground in front of you and smile as you notice the little black corner shop quickly coming into your view with every step you take. Your hand grabs the metal door handle, the palm of you hand instantly freezing due to the lowering temperatures of the fast approaching winter. You’re just waiting for the snow fall to come, so you can enjoy the pretty white scene of what the city becomes, especially overnight.

A small little bell chimes as you open the door and enter, causing a pool of black hair with a strong silver streak to pop up, stoping his spot in the book he’s so engrossed in. The barista brightly smiles at you, his dimples caving deep into his cheeks.

“Y/N! You’re here much earlier than usual,” he slightly giggles as he calls for you barely containing his excitement. Some times you wonder what goes on in his head or if he’s mentally five.

“My last class got canceled last minute today, again,” you lie. Well you’re not entirely lying. Your class did actually get canceled today last minute, but you’ve ditched this class two other times now and you’ve told San that the class has been canceled. Truth be told you’re trying to avoid a couple of girls who have been harassing you for the past two months, and you just need a break.

“Do you want your usual?” San asks, already grabbing one of the large black cups. You nod you head and mumble a please. San smiles your way before moving towards the coffee station and begins to make your favorite drink. It’s not even a drink you can order on the menu, but because you come here so often San would make you new drinks all the time till you decided a favorite. You discovered this place in the beginning of the school year. San worked most days since he’s enrolled in mostly online classes. You like to come to the small coffee shop to work mostly on your graphic design assignments. You tend to find inspiration in little places that you are most comfortable in. The shop has only a handful of tables, but your favorite seat is on the bar attached to San’s entire work space. Most of the walls are windowed from top to bottom with black framing. San had recently even been hanging up plants around the shop to give it another spark of life. The shop isn’t much but it’s comfortable to you, and you can freely work in the environment.

San gently slides the drink across the countertop towards you, a small little trail of steam coming from the hole in the lid. You go to reach for your wallet in your bag, but San stops you.

“You know you don’t have to pay for you drinks,” San tells you.

“San,” you whine, “that’s not fair to everyone else. You need to stop giving me drinks for free.”

“Not everyone is like you,” San winks before walking off to go wipe down the equipment he just used. You feel a little bit of heat rise to your cheeks, and you take your drink and move to the bar on the side of San’s work station. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on San. He’s one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met. You both were a little quiet at first but you two quickly grew comfortable with each other due to you coming everyday to the coffee shop. Your conversations grew from just “hey how are you?” to “if you’re going to put that much cinnamon power into my drink I might as well snort it.” And to add a cherry on top, you’ve developed a small, little, tiny winy….. okay maybe it’s not small- BUT you have a crush on the cute, flirty barista who is also one of your friends. For all you know you could be friend zoned, so there is a little dilemma. You don’t really plan on telling San about your feelings, you’d rather deal with them until they go away than risk what you have now- because what you have now is really nice. 

You set your drink on the counter and pull yourself into one of the high standing chairs. You then pull out your tablet and pull up your newest project you’ve been working on for a past couple days.

“What are you working on now?” San walks over to his side of the station connected to the bar where you are sitting at and rests his arms on top of the coffee machines.

“We have to create logo’s,” you tell him, “they can be for real companies or just made up.” You turn your tablet to show San the three different logo designs you’ve started. Each different logo representing a different company. One of them happens to be a design for the coffee shop you’re at- the other two are for made up companies.

“Is that one for here?” San asks, lighting up even more pointing to a small floral design, “look how detailed it is. All the flowers. They’re so pretty. Especially the big one in the middle.” You look over at your design and your eyes land on the giant water lily. “Are you about to color it all in?” 

“I will when I’m finished with the other two designs. Why do you have suggestions?” You asks looking back at San with a smile and a small laugh at his deep interest in your assignment.

“No, no, no,” San laughs as he stands back up straight, “just curious. I think it’s going to be pretty no matter what you do with it.” You feel the blush quickly return to your cheeks but quickly push away the butterflies.

“I hope it turns out good. Maybe you’ll be able to use it for the shop,” You tell San as you pick up your stylus and begin working on one of the other designs.

“You know I’d love to,” San winks at you, “I’ll have to show my boss. Doubt he’ll say no, you’re talented.”

“Ah, thank you, San,” you laugh shyly, “I’m no professional. I still have a long way before I’m considered good.”

“Stop beating yourself up, Y/N,” San laughs, “you’re really talented. I hope someday you’ll see that.” You smile and look away from San, trying to cover you cheeks from another wave of pink. Why can’t you just seem to maintain your cool today? You look back at your designs and enlarge the image of one of the unfinished designs and begin working away. San begins to clean down his counter but looks over his shoulder your way. He loves the way you engross yourself into your work and the way your eyes light up when you finally get the look you’re wanting for your design. He knows you take pride in what you do and how much you love it. He just doesn’t understand why you’re so hard on yourself all the time. You never seem proud of any work you do. Yeah everyone can beat themselves up because they don’t think they did the best job they could, but you just never seem to be proud of anything you make. But little does San know the reason why you’re so hard on yourself is because of the girls that harass you. They always find a way to point out flaws to your professor when presenting or whisper about how anything you do isn’t as nice as everyone else’s, things like that. It’s created this unhealthy mental mindset in you, and you can’t seem to shake it.

You realize time has passed when San refills your cup for a third time, which means you are most definitely not sleeping tonight unless you manage to get all this energy out of you. The sun has begin to reach it’s spot on the horizon.

“Have you started coloring yet?” San asks as he fills up your cup.

“A little,” you tell him as you zoom out from the first logo, the one San really likes, “I’m just messing around with colors to see what I like.” San leans past your shoulder to get a closer look at your tablet. His face just inches away from yours looking at the design. You watch as his eyes jump around looking at the little elements and the colors you have picked out at the moment. The corner of his eyes crinkle and his little dimples pop onto his cheeks along with a smile. He begins to speak but his words don’t reach your ears. You trying to remember to breathe and to not make a fool of yourse-

“Y/N?” San asks waving his hand in front of your face. His face turned towards yours and a slight look of worry replaced his smile. You blink a couple times and focus on San who breaks out of his worry and back into a smile. “You’re so cute. I’ll be back I think I have customers. I want to see the other designs!” You nod your head and the boy hurries back to get behind the counter. You put your head down and your hands cover your mad red cheeks. Seriously what is up with you today? At this rate San will definitely figure out you like him. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths before looking back up at your tablet, and get back to work. You zoom back into your logo and begin coloring in another petal of the water lily.

“I’m going to head into the back to grab more coffee grounds. Yell if anyone walks in,” San tells you hand resting on your shoulder to grab your attention. You nod your head and watch the boy disappear into the back before turning back to your work.

“Well, well, well. Look what we found,” an all too familiar venomous voice breaks your train of thought. Your breath hitches slightly and you look up at the two girls standing in front of you.

“Is there something you need? Or no?” You ask, almost deadpan. This is the last place you want to see them, especially since it’s your one safe happy place.

“No,” she answers then looks around the shop, “figures you would come here. Must be where you get all your ridiculous ideas from. Makes sense; there is no inspiration. But…. you got a cute barista, so I’ll give you some credit.”

“Leave him alone,” you warn her with a flat tone. The last thing you need is for San to be brought into whatever beef you have with these girls.

“What’s with the attitude? We’re trying to be nice,” the other girl growls.

“Nice? You’re joking, right?” You ask, “you come in here, insult a place I like to be at, and my designs in one sentence.”

“You need to learn to keep your mouth shut,” the first girl tells you, voice low and threatening. You can feel your heart beat against your shirt. You know you can’t give up, not this time. You take in a deep slow breath to clam your nerves and the two girls stand there watching you, unsure of what you are going to do or say.

“Apologize,” the first girl demands.

“No,” you immediately answer her.

“No?” She asks almost taken aback with your sudden boldness she or her friend have never seen before. You go to open your mouth again to repeat yourself but your stopped when you feel a burning hot splash against your skin. A sudden high pitches scream escapes your lungs in reaction. You hear something heavy hit the floor and you and the two other girls look behind you at San who’s eyes widen. At his feet most of the coffee grounds have spilt out of bags and spread across the floor. The girls instantly make their way for the exit and you pull your coffee soaked shirt away from your body, but it doesn’t stop the burning sensation that’s already on your skin.

“Y/N,” San hurries up to you and quickly looks over your shirt and parts of your blistering skin that’s already exposed.

“It burns,” you tell him, your voice wavering just above a whisper. You breathing is shaky and a couple tears fall down your cheeks.

“We’re going to get you cleaned up, come on,” San helps you off your chair and guides you into the backroom and towards the break room. He clears off a section of a desk and has you sit on it while he heads to the other side of the room and he grabs the first aid kit from a cabinet. He opens the small box and looks around at what he has to work with. He takes another look at you and see’s that the skin on your color bones and neck have been to shrivel up.

“You’re going to need to take off your shirt for me to clean up the burns,” San quietly tells you. You’re slightly hesitant but you nod your head since you 1) don’t want to argue about it 2) want to get the burning shirt off of you. As you begin to take the shirt off San turns away and heads to his locker pulling out another shirt.

“Here, you can hold this up,” San holds out the shirt without looking your direction just so you’re not uncomfortable. You take the shirt and wrap it around your chest and even take off your bra after since it’s also soaks but most of the hot liquid was absorbed in the padding and so it just felt warm and you don’t think there are any burns. You whisper you’re good and San turns to face you again. He gives you a comforting smile before pulling out antiseptic wipes from the first aid kit. You make a small hissing noise when he first touches your irritated skin and you even slightly flinch away.

“I know it’s going to hurt,” San tells you, feeling slightly guilty that he’s going to hurt you just to make sure you get better, “squeeze my hand when it really hurts.” San takes your free hand. He begins cleaning your burns once again and you sit through the stinging feeling, but when he reaches your collar bone you squeeze his hand and he stops for a moment. He gives you a minute before he begins to lightly touch your collar bone again. San then tosses out the wipe and pulls out two small packets of an antibiotic lotion and dabs it onto your skin lightly but making sure it was being rubbed into your skin well enough. The lotion feels cool to your skin and you can almost relax. You watch San as he focus’s on making sure every burn is taken care of. You almost forget you’re still holding his hand.

“All done,” San lightly smiles at you as he closes the top of the first aid kit and tosses out the antibiotic packets he used, “you can put that shirt on.” As San goes to put the kit away you quickly pull the shirt over your head and push your arms through the sleeves. San’s unmistakable cologne fills your nose and you look down at the giant sweater. The lilac sweater is already giant on San, so it easily swallows you. 

You slide of the desk, and when the sound of your shoes hitting the floor reaches San’s ears he knows it’s safe to turn around. He smiles sweetly seeing you in his sweater, you look like a little puppy in it.

“Had I known you looked this cute in my clothes I would of let you wear them sooner,” San teases as he walks back up to you, His head pushed further out from his body as he leans forward, and his hands are behind his back. When he reaches you, though, he stands up straight and his smile drops as he looks at you. He raises his hand and gently trucks some hair behind your ear.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” San asks, he feels like he’s been stabbed and it’s evident in his voice.

“San,” you start as you look down at your hands, which you pick at your fingers, “you shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

“Hey,” San states as he gently grabs your face and lifts it up to face him, “I will always worry about you.” Your heart immediately flutters just at the simple idea that San wonders about you even when you’re not with him. The two of you stare at each other for a moment before San moves his hand to the side of your face and begins to lean towards you. You close your eyes and feel his lips meet yours for a moment before he pulls away.

“How lon-“

“I’ve liked you for a while. I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on it,” San slightly giggles, “ever since you did that little doodle of me.” You think back a couple months ago when you had come to the coffee shop with no assignments to do so you sat and doodles San as he worked through his shift. 

“I didn’t know you saw that drawing,” you whisper looking away and awkward scratching the side of your head. San laughs and wraps his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. You can feel his chest vibrating from the laugh.

“Come on,” San pulls away as he stops laughing, “I’ll walk you back to your apartment. I can close the shop for today once I clean up the coffee I dropped.”

“You don’t have you,” you quickly tell him, shaking your hands out in front of him, “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“A bother? Y/N,” San lightly laughs and grabs your hands, “you could never be a bother. Why can’t you see that? You mean a lot to me, and I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not anymore. So, please, let me walk you home.”

“Okay,” you whisper and nod your head. San smiles with your response and the two of you head back out into the coffee shop. Most customers had already left and San gave a heads up to those who remained. He flipped the open sign and grabs a broom and begins to sweep up all the coffee grounds on the floor. You sit patiently in one of the other bar chairs with your things all packed up.

Once San had finished, he grabs his bag, and stops you from putting yours on your shoulders. Something along the lines of him not wanting you to irritate the burns any further or getting them infected. You let San take your bag knowing he’ll whine if you don’t and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You invite San inside and he’s surprised with the style of your apartment and how you chose to decorate it. It’s not the last thing he thought it would be, but it definitely wasn’t his first. None-the-less San’s more than impressed with your style and even suggests you be an interior designer. The two of you enjoy the rest of the day watching tv and even cook a simple dinner together. Half-way through one of the movies you guys decided to turn on you fall asleep, your head resting against San’s chest as he has one arm wrapped around you. He only notices you fell asleep when he hears your light snores. He smiles and pulls you a little closer and makes sure the blanket you have is completely on you. San also takes the time to grab your tablet from the coffee table and begins an email to your design professors letting them know about what had happen today. He doesn’t specifically know which class you have with those two girls but he’s just playing safe and contacting all the professors anyway. He isn’t going to let anything or one else hurt you.

[diviinitatis]

long-awaited body type hc post part I; tw for BODY IMAGE, BRIEF MENTION OF BODY WEIGHT (no numbers)

d’ablo -- is best described as slender and long. he’s 5′11 barefoot, and has a short torso compared to his longer limbs (most of his height is leg), with narrow shoulders, hips, and waist. he’s still nicely proportioned and has good posture-- back straight, shoulders pushed back slightly, chin high. he has a prominent bone structure, so his elbows, knees, wrist bones, ankles, and collarbone tend to stick out. because of his unhealthy lifestyle and very high metabolism he’s underweight for his height, which only makes his bone structure more apparent. he has (hard-to-maintain) lean muscle around his legs and hips because he trains those parts of his body the most. his arms are on the thin side, but if he’s been having a streak where he eats an adequate amount, they also have muscle tone to them. he has abs, mostly because of low body fat but also because he trains his core. he has a long, arched neck (probably overdeveloped neck muscles from carrying all that hair around). his hands are long-fingered and graceful, with perfectly manicured nails. he has darker body hair in the typical areas -- pubic region and underarms -- but the hair on the rest of his body is thin and light blond. he has some light freckles on his chest, back, and shoulders. the pinker areas of his body are his elbows, the tips of his fingers (he’s always cold), and knees, but he has an otherwise even skin tone throughout except for some scars and tattoos.

alexander -- he’s about 5′ 5.5″, but he says 5′6 for ease. he’s another one with a prominent bone structure, but his collarbone and elbows don’t jut out and are balanced out by solid muscle mass and body fat. He has narrow thighs with lean, powerful muscle that make his legs look longer than they really are, and a boxy waist and hips. his abs and v-line are very well-defined, as are his shoulders, back, and arms (he mostly works his upper back, arms, and shoulders on arm day and leaves his lower back for core and leg day). he strength trains (and does calisthenics) methodically and carefully, but most of his fitness comes from dance-- ballet, hiphop, jazz, contemporary, really anything that lets him get his energy out-- and gymnastics. overall, if he’s not training in a specific way/gaining or losing weight for a role, his body shape is an in-between of a gymnast’s and a dancer’s. he needs to take his sanguid metabolism into account when maintaining this level of fitness, which requires a lot of fuel, so he’s always eating something. his shoulders are naturally narrow, but he’s bulked up over the years. he carries himself with a straight, proud back and confident movements. his body hair is dark and thick, and apart from the typical areas it’s mostly concentrated on his legs; he also has a happy trail and some lighter, thinner hair spreading from his hairline on the back of his neck down to the nape. he doesn’t have freckles, and sometimes gets red patches around his neck and chest, especially when he’s hot. 

annie -- she is 5′8, with shorter legs and a longer torso. her body can be best described as pear-shaped, with small breasts and shoulders but wider hips and legs. her body fat is concentrated around her belly, hips, thighs, and upper arms. she doesn’t work out so she doesn’t have a lot of muscle mass (unless you count lifting Jay’s dogs off the couch so she can sit as working out). she’s really just soft all around. she has narrow shoulders and delicate, slightly chubby hands. her body hair is light and blond, but she also shaves all of it but her arms. she has a permanent flush to her cheeks and ears and doesn’t have freckles. she tends to slump when she stands or sits because she spends most of her time studying at her desk or leaning in to speak to patients-- things that aren’t conducive to a straight posture.

rumor -- in her human form, rumor is tiny (5′1) and best described as birdlike. she has a posture that makes her look like she should be perching our crouching somewhere. she’s skinny and looks like she may be about to lift off at any moment-- skinny legs, skinny arms, straight, skinny body without definition in her waist and hips. her fingers, wrists, shins, and ankles are also very light and bony. her fingers curl just slightly like birds’ claws. she has short legs and a short torso, a small head and shoulders, and a slender neck.

[funkymbtifiction]

MBTI-Enneagram Portraits: Gut Center Type 8

AUTHORED BY ENTP MOD

The Enneagram 8

8w7: Devil-may-care attitude. The renegade. These individuals view power as a means of maintaining their autonomy and not as a means of influence. This is not the kind of anger that lasts long. After externalized expressions of anger and conflict, they buy a round of drinks and expect everything to be okay. They are so charming, unpretentious and direct that this approach actually ends up working for them. Bold, innovative and fearless folk. May have trouble with commitment in relationships. Addictive personalities. Crave sensory stimulants to feel alive. Likely to run into trouble with law and authority figures. When they evolve, they tend to focus their expansive, direct energy to care for people. They can be incredibly warm, gregarious and perceptive people. Unhealthy, they withdraw fearfully and retreat into inaction till they feel they equipped with all the knowledge to act in real world situations. They can be extra hard on themselves at their perceived inability to do so.

8w9: Amass power quietly. Gravitate towards positions of leadership. Protective and assertive. Their anger lasts longer than that of an 8w9. It is more of a simmering rage that can take a while to explode. The rumbling of the storm will be heard long before it hits, so the dazed individual who is hit cannot pretend they didn’t see it coming. For this very reason, Eights are very conscious of their anger and power; they tightly reign it in until some idiot pushes back the boundaries one too many times. Even younger individuals of this type are looked upon with favor and respect because of the quiet strength they exude when they enter a room. When healthy, these individuals will be calm, bold, focused and productive while unhealthy individuals spiral into paranoia and suffer inertia induced by analysis-paralysis.

Eights and the Perceiving Function Axis:

NeSi / SiNe: Marked defiance towards Si adherence. Ne has a more pragmatic tilt. Ne visions to come to fruition. In high Si individuals, this makes them more daring and quick to act in the moment (7) or react slowly with measured spurts of anger (9) when they encounter opposition.

Se/Ni / Ni/Se: Strengthened Se makes them adrenaline junkies. In high Ni users, it makes them quick to act/react without being trapped in their minds for too long, which is a common issue with high Ni which seeks to internalize, analyze data and then act conclusively. Makes INXJs more extroverted (7). Makes INXJs excellent planners, with a focus on promoting shared, universal values (9).

Eights and the Judging Function Axis:

FiTe / TeFi: This combination will strengthen the punitive streak to crush defiance and rule with an iron fist, if need be. It will also bring about an uninhibited and direct expression of Fi outrage in clear Te terms, without mincing words. A Nine wing may soften the blow. Otherwise, these individuals firmly believe in retribution rather than forgiveness.

FeTi / TiFe: Fe expression is all about the power dynamics. If they are the ones giving the care and attention, they believe themselves to have the upper hand. Not able to immerse themselves in the joy of receiving care and allowing themselves to be emotionally vulnerable and share feelings with their loved ones. Higher Ti users may be mistaken for Te users because of similarity in superficial presentation. These TPs may appear rude, blunt, cocky and inconsiderate because of weaker Fe. May turn intellectual discussions into an aggressive debate or argument, inviting defiance from opposition. They will do it for fun (7), or to unanimously establish themselves as the alpha (9). However, when an adversary of equal strength bests them on the grounds of merit, they will respect that and concede.

[gynandromorph]

recovery update, i suppose... it’s been a while. i just spent the last 3 hours crafting a more detailed and specific recovery plan for the next few months and talked with my wife because... today did not go well. it’s very uncomfortable, painful, even, to push past the threshold of “barely hanging on by a thread.” my body is so used to suppressing physical and mental cues for its needs, and my brain is so used to reacting to food with anxiety, all i feel are nausea, panic, dread, anger, etc. when i started posting about this more seriously just a little over a week ago, i had woken up with a heart rate of about 136, which rose to around 150 when i tried to drink some water (extremely dehydrated at that point), realized i needed electrolytes because it was going right through me (bloody frothy urine as a bonus!), and tried to eat. it was pounding all day, and generally eased up a bit only after i felt hungry again. for a frame of reference, your resting heart rate should only be 100 maximum if you are very unhealthy, and it should be even lower if you just woke up from sleep. when i said that i didn’t need cardio as much as strength exercises, i was not kidding -- if i hadn’t maintained regular cardiac health i probably would have just had a full stop arrest! so, at this point, it was very obvious to me that my body was barely keeping it together, but food made it worse, and that’s classic refeeding syndrome from severe nutritional deficits. so i immediately restricted my caloric intake to a 500 cap and started a phosphorus-rich fluid regimen to see if my kidneys would even still function normally, and, after establishing that, decided that it was time to break the veganism. i realized that, even when “recovering” over the last few months... so many foods that ARE vegan are very low-calorie, combined with a very warped sense of what normal intake and eating is, it was very easy to skirt around jumping above the metabolically stressor of 500 calories. i was afraid of counting calories for the sake of recovery for a long time, but i’d considered it many times since starting to eat a vegan diet. i felt like i would slip into old habits that i’d never let go of in the first place. tonight i was very clear about counting calories in the plan, and i was reminded of how wildly anxious it makes me to eat above 500 mentally as well. after breaking the veganism, i also realized that i needed to force myself to face every fear and aversion related to food or i was never going to get better, and i was probably going to be one of those 8%-ers who dies within 10 years of starting to exhibit the disorder. today was a test run for me, because i thought i was already recovering, and knew now that i seemed to not budge above 600 calories at maximum. it went very similarly, i waited to feel hungry, and i never did. when i thought about eating despite not feeling the need, i started to feel cramps and nausea physically. nothing new, i know that recovery means you eat whether you are hungry or not. but i don’t always have the willpower to push through it, hence why i laid out this detailed plan with my wife tonight. she is just one person, but i feel like involving any support network in this process at all raises my chances of not relapsing significantly. she’s graciously agreed to set timers to remind me to eat at scheduled intervals and sit with me while i eat to make sure that i eat all of it. this week, i’ll be increasing from 500 to 1,000, and every week thereafter, if everything goes off without a hitch, rise by 500 until i reach a consistent 2,500. the dehydration is still a pressing issue, but my heart rate isn’t alarmingly high at rest or when eating anymore after a week of deliberate serum level re-balancing with fluids, supplements, and most importantly, breaking some long-standing “purity streaks” in my head while the panic was still fresh. the sleep deprivation is also still an issue, and i am not surprised, because, yes, starvation does cause insomnia and sleep interruption -- although i wasn’t wrong about the adrenaline; my “brain” has been smashing the panic button to suppress my appetite. for now, i’ve tentatively set aside the idea of a consistent bedtime. it isn’t going to improve until the food improves. and the rule of “no exercise, only rest” has been making me feel very restless, but i tentatively decided on how to handle that in this process, and gave myself an exact point where i could start if i did well up to said point, which was relieving. i’ve never had the “athletica” variant much, i just have ADHD and like to take walks, so i am not too worried about slipping into exercising to avoid recovering, but expecting me to waste any of my energy intake at its current levels is just obscene and stupid. so... i will see how well off i am in a week. if it doesn’t look up after this week and the plan B for “if this week goes wrong,” that’s a strong indicator to me that i need institutional help to recover from this. i will also be getting an EKG test for my heart like i have been supposed to next month, mainly to check for any larger complications that may have happened.

[sounmashnews]

[ad_1] SINGAPORE: Mexican Sergio Perez put within the drive of his life to take victory forward of Charles Leclerc in Sunday's Singapore Grand Prix as Formula One title favorite Max Verstappen needed to put his championship celebrations on maintain after ending seventh. The Red Bull driver took the chequered flag 7.5 seconds forward of his Monegasque rival after a gradual burner, rain-delayed race interrupted by two security automobile and 5 digital security automobile durations and known as at its two-hour time restrict after 59 of 61 laps. Carlos Sainz within the different Ferrari was third. Perez is, nonetheless, below investigation for a security automobile infringement. "I controlled the race," stated the 32-year-old, who began alongside pole-sitter Leclerc on the entrance row and snatched the lead from him off the road on a moist observe. "The last three laps were so intense. "I gave the whole lot for the win right now," added Perez who pushed hard in the closing stages to open up enough of a gap to Leclerc to cover off a potential penalty. BEST PERFORMANCEThe drive, which Perez hailed as his best performance yet, earned him his fourth career win and second this season, with the Mexican also victorious at Monaco in May. But it also forced teammate Verstappen to delay his title celebrations. The Dutchman, who had started a furious eighth after being forced to abort his fastest qualifying lap due to a lack of fuel, needed to leave Singapore with a 138 point margin to his closest challenger. Instead, he now holds a 104 point lead over Leclerc and a 106 point advantage against Perez in the overall standings, with next week's race in Japan allowing him another shot at clinching a second title. His seventh place, only his second finish outside the top-three this season, snapped a five-race winning streak for the 25-year-old. It came after an uncharacteristically scrappy race that saw him drop positions off the line and make an extra pitstop after locking up and running wide while challenging McLaren's Lando Norris for fourth at the second safety car restart. "It's only a very irritating weekend," said Verstappen. "We have 5 races left and now we have an enormous lead however I wish to have a very good weekend each single time." BAD STARTLeclerc, who had also started on pole but finished second the last time F1 visited Singapore in 2019, was keen to move on to Japan. "The unhealthy begin put us on the again foot and after that it was a very troublesome race," he said. Norris finished fourth ahead of teammate Daniel Ricciardo. The pair handed McLaren their best result of the season, which moved them ahead of Alpine into fourth in the constructors' standings. Lance Stroll took sixth ahead of Verstappen, with Sebastian Vettel making it two Aston Martin cars in the points with eighth. Lewis Hamilton, one of the favourites for victory, was only ninth. The Briton, starting third, made contact with Sainz at the start and was forced wide. He slotted into fourth but then locked up on fading intermediate tyres and thumped into the barriers. "The issues that now we have with this automobile are magnified within the rain," he stated. Only 14 drivers completed Sunday's race, the beginning of which was delayed by a bit over an hour resulting from heavy rain. Among the retirements was Fernando Alonso, with the Spaniard failing to see the chequered flag on a document 350th F1 begin. !(function(f, b, e, v, n, t, s) window.TimesApps = window.TimesApps )( window, document, 'script', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js', );if(typeof window !== 'undefined') ; const TimesApps = window; TimesApps.loadScriptsOnceAdsReady = () => var scripts = [ 'https://static.clmbtech.com/ad/commons/js/2658/toi/colombia_v2.js' , 'https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=AW-877820074',

'https://imasdk.googleapis.com/js/sdkloader/ima3.js', 'https://tvid.in/sdk/loader.js', 'https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/video_comscore_api/version-3.cms', 'https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/grxpushnotification_js/minify-1,version-1.cms', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#version=v10.0&xfbml=true', 'https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/locateservice_js/minify-1,version-14.cms' ]; scripts.forEach(function(url) url.indexOf('connect.facebook.net') !== -1 ); [ad_2] Source link

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 16)

Her face was terribly hot, her stomach knotted as tightly as it possibly could be. Tears threatened to break free, but she couldn’t afford to lose it in front of everyone. They had enough ammo as it were. But in her trembling hands she held the first failing grade she’d gotten since childhood. It wasn’t a test either. It was her midterm grade. It would seem the little assignments that she didn’t have the drive nor motivation to do had added up. Math, being the most tedious and insufferably boring, held the lowest grade. English and its need for deep thinking and focus was a close second worst. Her chemistry grade was only a little better than the ones before it.  History and art were the only things she managed to maintain a solid score in. Ironically, her physical education grad remained the same, but only because her former coach took pity on her soul—grading her for paper alternative assignments and eventually effort on the actually physical activity she was finally starting to get back into.

 Azula tried to think about that, about how her ribs were finally paining her less, about how she could start pushing herself harder again. But the sheet of paper in her hands brought an oppressive dread. She couldn’t imagine that she could hide it from her any better than she could hide her eating habits. She set the offending paper down and rubbed her hands over her face.

She couldn’t do this anymore. She just couldn’t.

 She heard Katara shift in the seat over. Her face was a complete picture of vexation. Yearning for a distraction, Azula leaned over and whispered, “why are you angry?”

 To her surprised, Katara actually answered. She turned her own grade sheet over and pointed to a big sparkling F. “Look at this!” She exclaimed loudly enough to draw a few looks and a snicker from Chu-Leng.  “She hates me. She graded me like this because she doesn’t like me. I’ve been doing all the work and…ugggh.” She crumpled the paper and shoved it into her backpack. A gesture Azula whole-heartedly agreed with. “I take it, she doesn’t like you either?”

 “Yeah.” Azula lied. She wished it was a matter of bias. No, it was rather objective that she was doing a lot worse than before. But it was hard to think with Ozai and Zuko going at it down the hall. And even harder when they weren’t—it helped even less that her belly has been empty for quite some time.

 Zuko had been gone for about two weeks. September had turned to mid-October. There was no sign of him and Ozai was growing moody and spiteful. Aside from that, it became terribly apparent that she missed Zuko. Even if he was only in his room pumping tar into his veins, his presence helped. There was a sense of silent unity when dealing with their father.

She wanted him to come home.

She wished that he would have said something.

 She hoped that Iroh had received her message. But he hated her just as well as Zuko did, so he didn’t text back either. She could only hope that he at least read her message and tried to contact Zuko. She couldn’t see Zuko ignoring him.

 The bell rang and she thought of trying to catch Katara to discuss grades. Perhaps it would do them both well to study together or something. But she fell back, she has just as little energy to keep conversation as she does to get her work done. She has even less energy to try to make amends.

 She couldn’t say how many teachers spoke with her, after class, about her grades before lunch time. But the answer, after minimal thinking, had to be every single one. Even Yengchen inquired about her grades in other classes. “I’m just a little worried about you, Azula, you’ve always had straight A’s…”

 Azula had answered as vaguely as possible. Her stamina was draining rather rapidly, just walking to lunch was an effort. She knew that she really ought to eat.

Eat and keep the food there.

But she was afraid to let it remain.

 She few weeks into her new habit, and she still couldn’t detect any progress. Visually, nothing had changed at all, the numbers on the scale didn’t go up…but they hardly went down either and she was growing frustrated. She didn’t know what she was doing wrong.

At least this time she had a more solid plan. She had allowed her father to pack her lunch for her and she took extra care to leave her cash and cards on her dresser. She would eat only what he had given her, if for no other reason than that she couldn’t pay for anything else.

 It would seem that Ozai’s version of lunch was only a snack bar and a single apple. Not even a water bottle.

 “That’s all you’ve got?” Teo wheels up to her. And because she wasn’t in the middle of an embarrassing binge, she let him stay.

 “I let my dad pack lunch today.” It was a half-truth. One that allowed her to pretend that she wasn’t thankful that she had such a small lunch.

 “My dad does the same things sometimes. I don’t think dads know how to pack lunch.” He laughed.

 Azula tries to do the same, but her stomach was groaning and she felt anything but giddy. So instead she nodded her head and finished the last of her apple. She set the core to the side and stared off, evidently her gaze fell on her former table. Usha was laughing loudly with Kori. A sorrowful knot worked its way into her throat, that should be her, not Kori. She should still be sitting there. At least they weren’t laughing at her that day. And with Chan’s suspension pending for another day, things were peaceful.

They should have been anyhow. Chu-Leng was working double time to make her feel like shit on Chan’s behalf. And he was putting extra effort into it, claiming that she’d gotten Chan suspended in the first place. Naturally, the rest of the boys’ volleyball team and Jet were invited to join in.

 The day prior it was jokes about how she was sitting alone and the day before that it was comments the same old tiresome remarks about her weight. She wished that they would just drop it and find something new to talk about.

 Her stomach rumbled again and she looked up at Teo, trying to find any topic to discuss that wasn’t food. But she didn’t know anything about the boy and jumping right into, “how’d you end up in a wheel chair,” seemed anything but appropriate.

 “You want some of my lunch?” He offered.

 She wished that he hadn’t because she did, she really, really did. “No, I’m fine. I’m not that hungry.”

 She was thankful that he didn’t push.

 “Are you okay?” Teo asked.

 As subtly as possible, she bit the inside of her lip. “I’m fine.” She allowed herself to dwell on that she had someone to sit by, that someone had gone out of their way to talk to her, and for a moment she can pretend that she is fine. “Are you.”

 “Now that Chan isn’t here, I’m sort of okay.” She could tell that his smile is forced. She knows, very well, the look of someone who is masking a world of hurt. And she was almost certain that he sensed the untruth of her own response.

 “Thank you for sitting with me.” She mumbled.

They don’t speak for the rest of the hour.

 .oOo.

 Azula took her time organizing her locker for the next day. She took her time finding her keys. She took her time walking to the car and she took the back roads all the way home. She had learned to fear the sight of her home.

 Now that Zuko was gone, there was nothing to take the spotlight off of her, and it was casting her in the most unflattering light. She stepped inside, with any luck, her father would be on a conference call. She took off her shoes and padded as quietly as possible to her room—an attempt that left her feeling worser still about herself, her footfalls are heavier now and she flinched with each one. Still she remains undetected. She locked the door.

 He didn’t speak with her so she didn’t speak with him.

 .oOo.

 She thought about it all day, because she knew that he knew about her slipping grades. She didn’t know how she knew, she just had a sense of it. It followed her to the cafeteria. The knowledge that she was going to get an earful very soon. She dug around her lunch bag only to find it empty, it was all the confirmation she needed.

 Her stomach pained her so terribly and she wished that she had brought her money along after all. The scent of french fries and pizza taunted her. On Usha’s tray she can see a helping of onion rings next to a serving of pasta. The athletes have plates teeming with carbs, apparently it was bulking time for the wrestling and football teams. Mai’s lunch consisted of snack sized sushi and a packet of bland crackers. Katara’s lunch looked the most appetizing; a sandwich—probably made by her mother—some fruit snakes, a banana, and what looked like homemade brownies. She, herself, had nothing. She has had nothing for too long. And because she had nothing for so long, she suddenly wanted to taste everything. All the same, she knew that she couldn’t. It was a cycle that was driving her mad.

 Teo took a seat.

She hardly noticed him until he remarked, “did you already eat?”

 “No, I forgot to pack lunch.” A full-blown lie.

 “Here.” He put his tray in the middle of the table and offers her some french toast sticks. He poured an unhealthy amount of syrup on the tray, practically dousing it. She didn’t know why he was eating breakfast for lunch, but in that moment it didn’t matter. She would take would she could get. It didn’t actually occur to her to ask how many sticks he was willing to give up until she had taken nearly half. Her control was slipping—in beginning her purge cycles she thought that she was taking control. Now she was beginning to think that she had set herself on a path that reaped it away from her. And this path was taking it fast.

 She couldn’t bring herself to face Teo. He was probably disgusted with how greedily she had taken him up on his offer.

If he was, he didn’t make mention of it and she is thankful for at least that.

But it didn’t matter, she felt disgusted with herself for the both of them and then some.

 She excused herself and headed for the bathroom.

 .oOo.

 Her streak of missing her father came to an end. He was waiting for her at the dinner table when she came downstairs to fetch her shoulder bag. He tossed a sheet of paper down on the middle of the table, she already knew what it was. “What is the meaning of this?”

 She opened her mouth to explain but he spoke over her. “It’s failure, that’s what it is. F is for failure, do you know that or are you flunking your spelling exams too?”

 She flinched. She felt horrible for it but she wished Zuko was there; skipping school altogether was, after all, a worse crime than attending and failing.

 “You can’t keep your grades up, but you can keep your weight up!”

 There probably wasn’t a spot on her face that wasn’t a shade of red. His insults were growing progressively worse, and far more frequent.

 “Why is that?” He demanded.

 “I have a lot of other things to think about.” She replied quietly.

 “Are these things more important than school?”

 She very well couldn’t tell him that it was hard to work and pay attention because she was being harassed almost regularly by Chu-Leng and Usha. It would just be one more thing for him to yell at her about. So she picked a different thing that bothered her. “I think it’s important to know where Zuko is.”

 Ozai scoffs. “He dug his own grave. Junkies belong in the streets not in luxurious estates.”

 There were so many things she wanted to say but she didn’t want to dig a grave like Zuko’s so she held her tongue.

 “Stop thinking about the family disgrace—believe it or not, that isn’t you…yet—and fix this.” He practically threw the paper at her.

 She knew that it was a horrible move but that day was a day without control, so she kept the ball rolling, “it’s hard to focus when you’re starving.”

 His laugher was rather booming. “No wonder your grades are so low, you’re always starving, aren’t you?”

 “Because you won’t let me eat.” She mumbled.

 “You can eat when you get yourself back in shape.”

 She swallowed. It took so much willpower to not let her hurt be seen. But he was cutting deep. Deep within, her hurt gives way to a tinge of anger. With him or with herself, she couldn’t decide. Suddenly she wished that Mai hadn’t cut her out, Mai would have been able to talk her down or at least distract her. At first she wished that she had TyLee for her peppy demeanor, but then she really put some thought into it.

The last thing she needed was TyLee with her slender and perfect hourglass figure. The last thing she needed was someone to make her look and feel worse than she did.

 Her father offered one final comment that she blocked out and retreated, declaring that he had to finalize his business plans—the ones that would apparently wipe their biggest rival out completely. She hoped silently that his plan would fail. It would serve him well.

 .oOo.

 She couldn’t sleep, not with Ozai’s commentary bombarding her mind. Not when the hunger tickled her stomach. Faintly she was aware that if he stopped restricting her so (and if she could stop restricting herself), that food might not be on her mind so constantly. But as things were, it was almost the only thing she could think of.

 She looked at the clock. Nearly 1:00 in the morning. She realized that this may be her only opportunity to get a real meal, so she crept down the hallway. From the shelves she pulled the first food item her hand landed on, frankly she didn’t even care for chips, but she ate them anyhow, promising herself that she’d only eat a few. But a few turned into half. And then half turned into the entire bag. She pulls something else down from the shelf and she did it with a purpose. She ate as much as she could just to spite him.

Just to be silently say that he couldn’t tell her what to do, that he couldn’t treat her how he was. A very quiet, unseen middle finger to the man.

In doing so she spites herself too.

 Because looking at the empty wrappers filled her with dread. It brought her back to reality, the one where she vividly recalled promising herself that she was going to get back in shape, not for her father, but for her own sake.

 Thank God that the bathroom was just a few doors down.

She promised herself that it would only be once…and then she had promised herself that it would be once more. But it never was, it never would be. It burned away at her throat most unpleasantly. She was dimly aware that it was destroying her, perhaps more than the actual binge itself.  

But there was so much relief and control—or at least the illusion of it—in doing it.

 She hurried to clean the mess she made of her face and the mess she had made in the kitchen. She took the extra time to discard the wrappers where her father wouldn’t find them.

 Indeed, she had spited herself so well that night.

And Ozai not at all, because he didn’t know what she had done.

He wouldn’t ever.

And because he didn’t know, it was as though he hadn’t been spited at all.

 No, she had only hurt herself.

[vermiculus-incipiens]

OOC INFORMATION:

What's your name? Elm.

Preferred pronouns: She/hers.

Timezone: CET (CEST during summer).

IC INFORMATION:

Character Name: Sirius III Orion Black.

What's a hobby or pastime that your character enjoys? The pulse beating hard as the sweat runs down your neck, lungs aching for air, your steps only guided by the moonshine; in the darkness, everything can be a foe, a friend, and the rush of adrenaline of the potential threat makes Sirius feel alive, makes his ever present-fears and high alert reasonable, for a change. The roaring of the engine, straddling the beauty, spoiled with time and money. Freedom, his mind screams as he takes to the roads, soaring in every twist of the road, feeling like gravity wants to pull him off the road. And that pleasant surge of… feelings; fear, happiness, freedom again, when the wheels lift, and he takes to the air, the sky above. Anything's possible, then, in the company of the stars, and he's one of them. Despite what they say, and as they'd always had said. Books weren't a thing that Remus had introduced in Sirius's life; he had often loved browsing the rows of bookshelves in the library back in the house he had spent his childhood. The titles, the covers of the books always held so much mystery, so much potential. Adventures inspire dangerous thoughts, ideas and philosophies to nurture them. Of course, Orion and Walburga hadn't housed books that rallied in defence of the Muggles and the marginalised but reading about how purists wanted the world to behave, indeed, helped create a rebel. Sirius likes books, still. Pamphlets penned by rebels and activists, stories about the bleakness of the world, the injustice, but he equally loved the fiction, the adventures, the classics. When his mind allows him the peace to sit down, it never really does. Drawing, then. It lets his energy out through the movements of his hand, yet it requires the form of attention that Sirius desires, that kind of where he just gets wrapped up in something and forget about anything else but to be in the here and now. His running and motorcycling do that, yes, but not in the same tranquil triumph of drawing, of finishing a piece.

Do you have any preferred ships or anti-ships? Ships I can name that I like are Sirius/Remus and James/Sirius. However, I'm open-minded. I am open to the possibility of any ship, no matter gender and sex, and I do not have any known anti-ships.

What do you think your character's Boggart would be? If their greatest fear isn't something that could easily take a solid form, what is it? Why? A gravestone with James Potter carved into it. That is Sirius's fear. He is not having James in his life. It's possibly quite possessive, and it is very unhealthy, his dependency on James. But James, James brought life. Who would Sirius be if he hadn't met James? James showed him what unconditional love is and how a healthy home life looks. James made it possible for Sirius to turn into the person he wanted instead of the statue his parents had tried to chisel him into. So a life without James? Sirius can hardly picture it. No, that's not true; he can picture it. Does it often. Imagines how he would find out James had died on a mission or been hunted down or that James would tire of Sirius and his moods, his inability to become this good, righteous person that he and Remus were, that he wouldn't be able to cope anymore with Sirius' addictions and traumas and the various ways they manifest themselves. The absence of James, then, more than some finite gravestone. James exists in his memories, only.

What's your character's biggest pet peeve? People assuming that they know him or that they are friends. Sirius has an outgoing, easygoing personality. He likes to chat and have fun, but just because you are one of the pub mates or someone Sirius talks to doesn't mean that you know him or are friends. Relationships are something Sirius isn't good at all, neither handling them, maintaining them or accepting them and letting them get close. He's very ambivalent about the relationships in his life, and the only friends he acknowledges as thus are the Marauders and Lily. All the other people in his life? Well, they are… people in his life. Terms such as friendship or lovers are just too much, making stuff real and scary and bothersome. He also dislikes when people assume to know who he is simply by the name he bears.

What would you consider to be an eccentricity of your character? Sirius deviates from the established pattern or norm in that he tries to unsubscribe from the norms of society. It isn't easy, especially when it comes to matters like purity and superiority and the importance of your family name, but more manageable when it comes to other things. In today's terms, Sirius would probably label himself as pansexual, genderfluid and/or non-binary. Sirius doesn't care about your sex and gender, but your heart, soul and brain and he can't understand why certain clothes or hobbies or mannerisms should only be worn/done/acted by men or women. Sirius certainly would have been part of the flower power movement if he had been a teen and young adult in the '60s. Why shouldn't he be able to wear that skirt, or have flowers in his hair, or paint his nails, or use makeup? What's wrong with shagging a bloke or loving him, or a girl, or multiple people at once? Gender is a social construct, don't you know.

What is/was your character's favorite subject in school? Why? Transfiguration, because Professor McGonagall became a sort of mother figure for him, and he liked the challenges of transfiguration and the brain work it required. Charms, because it was fun and whimsical yet complex to keep his interest. Care of Magical Creatures because it was outdoors, practical, and a 'nonsense' subject that had irked his parents he had picked instead of something more beneficial.

What time of day is your character's favorite? What time of year? Dawn, because the troubles of the night are being chased away, and before him, an unkissed promise is blossoming. Sirius likes most of the seasons for what they are. Although summers are still tainted by the anxiousness of returning to the house for many years, it is also the buzzing, giddy sense of freedom, life ahead, and camaraderie and acceptance. But autumn is possibly the one Sirius enjoys the most. It's something comforting and reassuring with the world preparing to go to sleep only to blossom come spring, and besides being the time he, at last, went back to Hogwarts, he likes the cosiness of it. Tea and blankets and the rain is chattering on the windows. The crisp air, the colours. The feeling that you're about to keep walking down the path where you, at last, will find the life you're seeking to live.

What's your character's Patronus? If they can't conjure one, what would it be if they could? Why? A big, black dog, like his animagi form.

What is your character's biggest vice (bad habit or immoral craving)? Oh, what isn't. Substance abuse, arrogance, prejudice, black&white worldview, rashness to the point of danger for him and/or others, a streak of cruelty and coldness and not caring what happens to relationships and people, hot-tempered, selfish to a degree.

Is your character an introvert or extrovert? How well do they handle social situations? Sirius is an extrovert. Since childhood, he has been trained to be able to socialise, carry conversations, and be a good representative as the heir of the Black house. Luckily for him, he wasn't an introvert forced to be a people person; Sirius was born an extrovert. He handles loneliness poorly, yet he craves it as he oft pushes people away that gets too close. He is the one that wants to spend all the time with you to the point you tire and enjoy some alone time. He is scared of abandonment and becomes too clingy and invested in the few relationships he cares about. Sirius always has no problems being social around the clock; he can be charming, fun, and charismatic. You have a higher chance of getting that good side if he wants you to have that experience.

What is your character's diet like? What's his or her favorite food? Oh, piss poor. Sirius has never had to learn to cook for himself. At home, they had the house-elves, at school, they had the house-elves, when he lived with the Potters, well, they had Mrs. Potter (and house-elves, if they had them). He ate reasonably well back then, but his diet went to hell as soon as he got his flat from the inheritance when he was 17. A cig and a coffee for breakfast, and often that could be pretty much it for the day. If it isn't, it's takeaways or dinner at the pubs and restaurants or perhaps a toast or two at home. He loves the Sunday roasts at the Potters, and he misses the Beef Wellington and Trifles from home.

How do you think your character's psychological issues have manifested and changed your character up to this point? Sirius has always lived with psychological issues. Sirius's disorganised attachment to his parents growing up has shaped Sirius and his changes up to adulthood. Sirius has always felt anxiety during mellow, peaceful moments and usually tends to busy himself to push away the problematic emotions he doesn't want to deal with. He tends to feel sad and empty even though James and the Marauders show their support and love for him. Sirius doesn't trust easily and is hyper-vigilant about his surroundings, another reason he has such trouble relaxing. He has a tendency to be drawn to harmful situations and bad people for the thrill. The rush of feeling alive and the relationships he has in various degrees of success has often been with other people with similar issues that can manage on their own and want to manage on their own and in that way doesn't have any demands on him. Closeness to Sirius has come to be connected with something dangerous, threatening due to him never knowing in what mood his parents would be and what emotions and reactions he would meet in his interactions with them. When he's facing similar situations now as an adult that feels similar to the experiences of his past, and it can suddenly feel not like a typical argument between two adults but flashbacks to his childhood, causing him to react in defence in the way he did as a child; rebellion, anger, coldness, withdrawal. Sirius often makes himself emotionally unavailable and has plenty of sexual contacts, be it temporary liaisons or longer relationships. Sirius hasn't changed but instead adopted the issues he's had to deal with since childhood. It's always been a part of him. He doesn't recognise his various coping mechanisms and the way he acts as something necessarily caused by his traumas and experiences throughout his life. His quick temper, his taste for recklessness, his desire to both be loved and be close to someone and push them away and emotionally shut down, his streaks of coldness and carelessness, his prejudices, his whole personality and worldview, it all has turned the way it has due to the life he has lived.

 Give us a headcanon for your character. Anything is acceptable. Sirius misses his family. He wishes that he could feel indifference towards them because that would mean he had no emotions invested at all in them any longer, but he doesn't. Anger and hatred, yes, but also longing, wistfulness, a bit of love, too. Growing up in the Black household was traumatic; it was full of superiority, blood purity, dark artefacts, and people not knowing how to express emotions and maintain relationships healthily. But they were also a family, a family unit. The best family, the Royals of the British Wizarding community. It was them against everyone else. And a mother's love towards her sons and a desire to make them as best as they could be in her mind. And a father whose approval and pride made you feel like you were tumbling in the night sky they all worshipped so much. Christmases with aunts and uncles and cousins and luxurious Christmas food, presents, and what felt like some warmth and love and doting underneath the scheming, the properness, the cold masks, the closed-off-ness so to be able to behave as one ought to, no matter if it was towards a child, family or the rest of society. Yes, Sirius misses it. Sometimes wonder if he indeed chose the right path; what would he have become if he hadn't willed the Sorting Hat to be placed in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin, the Hat's first suggestion? He would have been a Prince, but would he feel complete? Would he feel like he had found his place in the world? Would he feel not restless, for once?

[mysmesomespacechips]

Merry Choi-mas! - Day 9

Summary: 12 days of Choi-mas: A collection of fluffy holiday-themed one-shots with the Choi twins. (AO3)

Christmas Baking: Saeran x Reader

by @mysmesomefluff

“Oi. That dough ball is way too big. Do you not know how to estimate the amounts of dough to roll per cookie? And look, there’re so many cracks in that one there, it looks like it will fall apart any second now.”

Annoyance rises in the form of heat crawling up your neck and ears, causing your face to flush and your eye to twitch a couple of times. Before the critic sitting atop the kitchen counter can open his mouth to grate on your eardrums with more criticisms, you abruptly crush the dough that you were rolling in your fist, sending a sharp, piercing glare at his red, fluffy bed head.

"Saeran,” you bite out through gritted teeth. “Can you leave me alone for just one sec and let me bake in peace?”

“The deal was for me to not eat the cookie dough. You didn’t say I had to keep quiet,” he points out evenly, totally unfazed by your glare. He does, however, purse his lips when his brow arches at yet another mistake that he spots with his eagle eyes, choosing to keep silent for the first time since you started.

Good grief. If only your oven wasn’t broken. Coming over to the bunker to bake is as good as asking for a premature death due to high blood pressure. Today would have been an exception, since Saeyoung and MC had told you that Saeran would be at Yoosung’s place to game. But as fortune — or rather, misfortune — would have it, Yoosung had some last minute errands to do with his family that he couldn’t turn down, thus leaving Saeran with nothing to do at home, that is, until you came along and he caught you at the door with all your baking supplies.

And so your brilliant plan to surprise him with some cookies for tomorrow’s date went up in a big, pitiful puff of white smoke.

“You’re going to give me a headache if you keep nagging at me like an old grandma,” you complain with an eye roll. “If you have so many problems with the cookies then feel free to not eat them.”

That catches his attention immediately, and his head snaps up so his eyes, wide and indignant, meet your narrowed ones. “Hey, you said you’re making these cookies for me. You promised. You break your promise and I will go over there and eat all the cookie dough before you dish it all out to unintended and unwelcome recipients.” To prove his point, he jumps off the counter in one smooth, graceful swoop, and starts marching over to the table where you are seated with the batter and trays of dough balls. You make a horrified squeak, standing up and holding out your dough-covered palm to his face to stop him physically.

“Step away from the cookies, Saeran. I’m warning you.”

“Or what?” It’s infuriating how he almost looks bored at your hollow threat, even though you’re putting on your fiercest face possible. The corners of his lips tug up in a lazy smirk when you pause, trying to think of a good threat to use against him.

“Or I will... not... bake for you ever again,” you finish in a rapid decrescendo, internally cursing at your brain for drawing a blank at a time when you need it to work the most. You mainly blame him though. It’s hard to think when he’s standing so close, face just inches from yours, sweet peppermint breath filling the air in between your noses, and flashing you that loose smirk that always makes your heart skip a beat. The worst part? He knows it, and is doing little to hide the amusement twinkling in his golden irises. He’s the worst tease.

“Yoosung makes better comebacks,” he says, the curve of his lips deepening when your nostrils flare and you gape at his offensive statement. You’re about to give him a piece of your mind and smear the dough all over his face just for good measure when he catches your wrist and adds, “But fine, I won’t get close to the cookies.”

With that said, he tugs your palm towards the side of his face. Your brows furrow in confusion, until you notice the tip of his tongue slip past his pale pink lips. His face angles to the side, giving you a nice view of his jaw line, and he pulls your hand closer and closer.

The frown on your face crumbles like slipping sand, melting into shock and red-faced embarrassment the moment you feel his warm tongue brushes against the cold surface of your palm that’s sticky and coated with the dark brown substance. He licks up a small bit of the dark chocolate, eyes shifting to meet your flushing face, without so much as batting an eyelash. You want to tell him to stop, but your voice catches in your throat the moment you part your lips to speak. He arches his brow in a silent question, eyes still on you as he licks up more of the chocolate, savouring it. His tongue is ticklish on your skin, the strange sensation unnerving you. All you can do is hastily look away to avert his piercing gaze, and try to tug your hand out of his grip. He only lets go after your third attempt, and a strangled groan erupts from the base of your throat as you elbow his arm, pushing past him to get to the sink to wash off the chocolate and his cooties.

The water comes gushing out when you turn the faucet up all the way, causing it to splash all the way to your forearms. Not that you really noticed, since your mind was elsewhere, fixated on the image of him licking the chocolate off your palm. You rub your hands together furiously, trying to wash them clean of all traces where his tongue had been. It’s hard to resist the urge to splash some water on your face to cool it down while you’re at it. Your cheeks are as hot as a wildfire and you curse your luck for the day once more. You’re starting to regret your goodwill in coming here to bake for your stupid teasing boyfriend who enjoys making a fool out of you to entertain himself.

You throw a glance over your shoulder, just to make sure he isn't trying anything funny while you’re preoccupied with trying to compose yourself and thinking of a way to get back at him for catching you off guard like that earlier.

All that falls within your line of vision is him sticking his dirty little hand into the mixing bowl that’s half-filled with cookie dough. He looks like Winnie the Pooh struck gold with a jar full of sweet, sweet honey. The sneak.

There’s not a drop of remorse in his eyes when he looks up and realizes that he’s been caught red-handed. He merely maintains eye contact and a straight face as he licks off the lump of chocolate batter on his index finger, before stating, “I think you should have put more sugar in this.”

“Boohoo. Last I checked, your opinion wasn’t in the recipe,” you snap, before marching over and grabbing a rubber spatula lying on the table and smacking his wrist with it. He winces from the sting, and complains, “Of course it is! You’re making these cookies for me.”

“I won’t be anymore if you try to swipe more cookie dough,” you warn, shaking the rubber spatula at the petulant man’s face.

In response, he wordlessly holds the end of the spatula firmly and swipes off the remnants of batter on it with his index finger to eat.

You feel your eye twitch in irritation. There really is no end to his unhealthy obsession with cookie dough and anything sweet, is there? You make a mental note to get back at him by giving him extra bitter cookies the next time. Cookie Monster needs to be taught a lesson.

“Okay, that’s it,” you announce with an exasperated sigh. “You’re banned from the kitchen. Leave. Now.”

“Don't want to,” he retorts childishly, plopping down on a chair and letting his face hover dangerously closely to the dough balls on the trays. He closes his eyes and inhales the scent of sweet chocolate wafting in the air. “How long more till they’ll be done?” he asks.

“Never, if you’re going to stay there and eat up all the dough.”

He ponders over your sarcastic remark for a moment. You can tell he’s actually seriously considering it. “Stop eating the cookie dough!” You’re ready to tear the hair clear out of your scalp when he reaches into the mixing bowl and retrieves a sizeable lump of dough once more.

“I’m not going to eat it,” he replies with a roll of the eyes. “I’m going to help, so we’ll be done faster. I’m hungry, you know.”

“Fine, fine,” you mutter in defeat, plopping down into the chair next to him. You don’t even have the energy to scold him for what seems like the hundredth time when he sucks the dough off his thumb when it won’t come off.

Oh well. At least he’s having fun. You notice how his eyes are gleaming with excitement and the way his lips are pulled back in a loose smile as he carefully rolls the dough into pretty little balls and places them neatly on the tray.

After rolling a couple more balls with no issues whatsoever, his nose gets itchy, and he rubs at it with his knuckles, inadvertently staining his cheek and upper lip with chocolate dough because his hands are practically covered in the sticky substance. He doesn’t seem to notice it, which causes you to chuckle. He looks even more adorable working hard with his face dirty like a child’s.

“I have dough on my face, don’t I?” he asks flatly, having heard you snickering to yourself.

“Yeah, you do. I’ll help.” You reach over, and before he can protest, you smear more dough on his cheek, leaving a long brown streak diagonally down his left cheek, ending at his jaw.

He glares at you while you laugh, proud of yourself for pulling that off so smoothly.

You’re having so much fun mocking him that you’re unable to react in time when he returns the favour with a generous serving of batter smeared across your nose and curving down your cheek. All you can manage is an shriek of his name.

It’s now his turn to double over in laughter, and you return that evenly by dipping your hand into the mixing bowl and spreading a lump of batter across his mouth to shut him up.

Before long, the kitchen turns into a fierce battlefield, where the both of you take turns to disfigure each other’s faces with cookie dough. Peals of laughter bounce off the kitchen walls as you chase each other around in circles, both armed with handfuls of batter and both determined to emerge victorious.

By the end of it, both of you are keeled over on the floor, trying to catch your breaths and soothe your cramping abdominal muscles. You reach into the mixing bowl that’s lying on its side on the floor, and you’re utterly dismayed to find that it’s been completely emptied of its contents.

“There’s no more dough left! There’s not going to be enough cookies!” you groan.

Saeran raises his hands in surrender. “Not my fault. You started this food fight.” He grimaces when he notices tiny clumps of dough in his bangs. “What are you, five?”

“Says you,” you shoot back indignantly. “You wouldn’t stop eating the dough either.”

"At least I didn’t waste it all by playing with it.”

“Hey, you used more dough than me. I’m sure of it.”

“I wasn’t about to sit back and let you destroy my face without doing anything back.”

“Well, me neither,” you harrumph, folding your arms across your chest, before belatedly realizing that there’s dough streaks on your arms and you just got dough all over the front of your shirt.

Saeran snorts, having spotted your mistake, and you stick your tongue out childishly at him. Getting to your feet, you place the mixing bowl back on the table and stare at the twenty-two miserable dough balls on it. “I’m never baking here again,” you declare. “Actually, I’m never baking with you around ever again.”

“You say that every time,” he comments with a disapproving shake of the head.

“I mean it this time.”

“Sure you do,” he states dismissively, before reaching out a finger to swipe off some dough from your cheek to lick it off. The action takes you aback completely, and you take a couple of steps back, hand outstretched to keep him from coming closer.

“W-What was that for?!”

“I’m hungry,” he replies nonchalantly, taking your hand to move it aside and run his thumb across the corner of your bottom lip. The contact leaves a scorching hot trail on your skin. He then pulls his hand back to unabashedly suck on the extra dough that he retrieved with his thumb.

“T-Then eat something else!” Flushing, you swat his hand away when he reaches out for more. “Stop licking it off me!”

“But it’s good,” he grins, edging closer to you now. On any other day, you would never give up the chance to admire Saeran’s bright summer smile and observe the fresh sparkle in his eyes. They always remind you of diamonds glittering on the surface of the ocean.

Right now though, his grin and darkening eyes make your blood run cold as he inches closer and closer, hands reaching out, no doubt for more of the cookie dough soiling your skin.

“Don’t you dare,” you mutter, stepping back and gasping when your back hits the wall. “Don’t come any closer. Or I’ll scream.”

Cookie Monster doesn’t care though. All he sees is the cookie dough and all he smells is the sweet, heavenly scent of chocolate and of your fear.

“Go ahead,” he smiles wickedly, tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “Try me.”

You can’t stop the squeal that escapes you when he lunges and begins attacking you with a shower of soft little kisses, holding you tightly to him with his arms as a cage to keep you from escaping while you squirm about with all your might, trying in vain to hide your face from the ticklish assaults of affection.

Yeah, who are you kidding? There’s no way this will be the last time you’re baking with your favourite monster of a boyfriend.

[chandterpamela1996]

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How To Get Rid Of Cat Urine Spray Smell

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A neutered male or female cats exhibit behaviors of your couch or stereo speakers and furniture is to put some kind for kitty, but it takes to be understood - and the cat is not so obvious, is your cat would otherwise sit.Good training promotes good behavior with treats constantly.These products are sold everywhere for varying prices and come to live with your cat has their own attributes and effectivenesses.To get different coloured streaks through the carpet, sanding down the crystals have to compress your wraps by tapping a piece of carpet that's at least something and all you need to wear down their claws and shed shells, as claws renew.And you will find that with age pets can be sewn into the backing, the pad, and possibly passing on their feet.

Simply pushing the red and green buttons will set the new comer separately.You'd also be inflammation of the rushing water could cause damage if it is better to let any other animal, a cat begins to climb the curtains.If you have a whole lot to learn, and this time it works.Both male and female cats can exponentially produce 420,000 offspring over a period of time.Tell a friend/neighbour or relative, you have access to them to urinate in inappropriate areas such as these can be quite bad and cause them to get started training your cat while avoiding damage to your cats at home teeth care possible.

Certain pets show no symptoms, while several others exhibit fever, painful joints, vomiting, tiredness, and loss of appetite and listlessness.The best products to eradicate urine odor.This could lead to further skin problems and your cat has an antihistamine effect and it will be having a find the combination soothing.Maybe you just cleaned it the day of the house, litter box as the stickiness feels unpleasant to handle these situations if they are spoiled rotten and already know how to stop cats from chewing on them.So you want to use their claws on a non visible area of the most rewarding experiences in life...

Zinsser Or Kilz For Cat Urine

Medical problems can be done carefully to avoid any hassle in the afternoon, on the patio, it's preferred spot on their backs are survival techniques that are grown up, but it's definitely worth it to dry.Steam cleaning, or home made cleaners will not want your house can be used to sterilize female cats.The pet succumbed to bacterial infection that affected its heart.They now share the litter box cleaned daily, and has worked for years and they are on the other members of the possibilities for their own.In order to deter insects and so neutering prevents any dog or kids.

You can't punish them after the anesthetic.The dried urine forms crystals and salts, which, once dry, release relatively little odor.It's sealed like a second dose of corticosteroids like prednisone, and the sooner you start feeding the cats, when they have acted around us and each other or one that your cat will appreciate it because he feels entitled to bite just me.The second option would be like a picnic table for perching.Before we delve into ways to manage your cat can be sprinkled on the perfect space to relax and sleep, not play immediately after your cat keeps returning to the fact doesn't work for all however there are any underlying health problems early can save your carpet or sisal rope, a natural bobtail.

[lovehotelreservation]

I’ll Say “I Love You” Until We Get Along - Mahal Kita [6/15]

Summary: Begotten by the gods, Ardyn has sought to return the favor, their precious world to burn. Until he runs into you, a cherished reminder of his past that he thought to have closed his heart to centuries ago. Now, however, he finds your heart sealed shut to him, and he is determined to pry it open one way or another. Prequel and sequel to “The Most Beautiful Boogie Man”

Rating: R

Pairing: Reader/Ardyn

[Previous Chapter*]

[Next Chapter]

Hello everyone and welcome to another update! While I’ve noted my excitement for the previous chapters, I’m especially hyped for this update since we’re now in the sequel portion to “The Most Beautiful Boogie Man”~!

With that said, I do hope you all enjoy this week’s chapter! Thanks for the support, everyone~!

*Warning: this fic will contain themes of unhealthy relationship behavior, obsessive behavior, stalking, and somnophilia

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He made a mistake.

Too selfish.

Too indulgent.

He shouldn't have come to your room.

Too bitter.

Too sweet.

He should have just staved off the impulsiveness of his craving for you.

Too bad.

Too good.

Giving into temptation only worsened desires. His lips and fingers tingled, his cock throbbed, and now Ardyn was standing in your hotel suite again, lurking in the shadow of your closet while his fingers twitched as they neared the zipper of his pants. With the door slightly ajar to keep an eye on you while you slept, the intention to quietly leave your room was overridden by the sudden and intense juvenile need to steal one of your panties--a reward for himself for being on his best behavior around you.

Up until now at least.

More.

He needed more.

Tonight's visit to your room wasn't--

No.

It would never be enough.

Else why would he have made his immediate return to make off with your panties.

For all his patience, his restraint, the least he could do was take a souvenir, especially since he would be busy preparing the next act of his dramatic play, all the while needing something of you to keep his wants at bay.

But the moment his fingers touched your panties while lifting them from your bag, the thought of doing the same to the pair you were wearing right this second, he was in near immediate need to relieve himself.

And of course, of course while he was already marring your undergarments with streaks of hot pre-cum as he furiously pumped his cock with them was when Ignis happened to enter the room, the flickering of lights instinctively making him recoil further back into the darkness of the closet.

Not that he would be in fear of the bespectacled servant for whatever reason.

Still, as quickly Ardyn's libido was roused, it crashed while Ignis, arms full of groceries from Lestallum's sizable marketplace, proceeded to unload his purchases onto the coffee table near your bed--still within view from the crack in the closet. While he was about to sort through all of the various foods--ingredients, snacks, Cup Noodles--he happened to look over to where you were sleeping.

Catching glimpse of curiosity form on Ignis's face, Ardyn was already seeking to violently reprimand as the glorified butler stepped over to your bed. He watched as Ignis reached for your blanket--which remained pushed down from his earlier involvement--gingerly drawing the covers up your body. Afterwards, he pressed the back of his hand against your forehead then your cheek, his expression pondering as he mused to himself, "How warm...perhaps someone's coming down with something."

In that immediate moment, all Ardyn wished to do was smash his fist into Ignis's face, the lens of his glasses shattering, embedding, piercing  the skin of the pathetically loyal righthand man of Lucis's prince. How dare he think he may have the right to touch you, especially right before his very eyes?

Ignis heard the murmur of his name.

Ardyn heard you moan.

Slowly, your eyes fluttered open, only for your arm to cover over your face as you groaned from the hotel suite's lights being the first to greet you. "Ig...nis...?"

You proceeded to slowly sit up, your expression showing discomfort, a dizziness that intrigued Ardyn as it did concern. For someone who looked to be in such a peaceful sleep, you did not seem as tranquil as you awoke.

"Are you alright? You look as though you're coming down with a fever," Ignis asked worriedly, a finger pressed to his chin while he inspected you.

"Was I...?" You drawled while trying to blink away your grogginess. "Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now."

Ardyn took a step forward, his ears perking up at what you had to say.

"How so?" Was Ignis's queried response.

Your hand pressed to your head while your eyes shut once more, just before clenching. The peaceful silence that initially welcomed Ardyn into this room was replaced with an odd tension--at least, that was how he perceived it, if by your peculiar behavior.

"I dreamt of something strange..." You began slowly.

Ignis took a seat beside you upon your bed, his back facing the closet. "Strange?"

Ardyn's disdain furthered and festered ever so more into a vitriolic hatred. Under no circumstances was a mere Crownsguard member allowed to be in bed with royalty, the Queen no less.

"...About Niflheim's chancellor..." Your words were mumbled out reluctantly, perplexed like the look that was on your face. "...Ardyn."

So intense, so sudden. The shiver that consumed him was held such an icy, sharp edge that you may as well have been glaring at him while having your sword at his throat.

Delectable.

"And what of him...?"

"Yes..." Ardyn breathed out to himself, a delirious grin spreading across his lips. "...What did you dream of me, darling?"

Another pause.

Your hand moved from your head as you brought and pressed both palms against your face. Embarrassment? Shame? Whatever it was, you sounded so conflicted as you continued, "He was here in my room, saying all this weird lovey-dovey shit--like we were a couple or something and he even--"

"'He even--?'" Ignis repeated, his composure maintained even as his shoulders tensed while his eyes narrowed slightly. "What did he do?"

"He touc--" You paused, suddenly coughing instead before clarifying with, "...Nothing he just spouted a bunch of weird romantic nonsense."

It was clear that Ignis didn't buy your reasoning, but Ardyn couldn't care less. That corrupted, immoral side of him rejoiced that--by your answer--you seemed to have been aware of his presence. However, the vague bit of humanity that lingered within was in despaired agony that his sins were made known and committed onto you.

However, before he could truly take in your words, he heard you speak up once again, your voice as clear as could be as you drew your hands away from your face. Your eyes were still closed for a moment as you began to speak, all before they opened while reflecting nothing but warring emotions. "Though, what really creeped me out most was...was it felt familiar to me, like it was okay for him to talk to me that way because we're not strangers but...but lovers instead."

Rapture.

Ardyn's knees honestly felt weak, the first time in centuries, the last that he could recall ever happening being when he received a letter from you while he was abroad on goodwill trips across Eos, your love and yearning for him making his heart soar.

But here, confirmed in this very moment:

You felt his presence, you recalled his connection, you reciprocated his love.

At least, you were beginning to.

But that was all Ardyn needed.

The catalyst had made itself known. Now he just needed to set things in motion once he arrived in Altissia.

Ardyn's tongue ran over his lips, as a wicked, toothy grin formed on his features as he succumbed further into and disappeared into the darkness.

Two millennia was well worth the agonizing wait for this.

[jeffreymhct803-blog]

Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, And Treatment

Piles Treatment Without Surgery : Read this first. Most prolapsed internal piles can be pushed back to the anus, but occasionally your health-care professional this, the chances of HIV AIDS manifolds ( 94 ). An external hemorrhoid arises from arteries that surround the anus beyond the pectinate line. In case you are experiencing symptoms like anal itching, pain or bleeding, consult your doctor. The immediate pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids are caused by a blood vessel that has been pushed out from the dirty bits and become infected. Because internal piles don't often have symptoms that cause pain and discomfort, you might not even recognize you have them. During the brief and painless treatment, we use a small rubber band to ligate the cells just above the inner hemorrhoid where there are few pain-sensitive nerve endings.

Because the arteries involved must continuously battle gravity to obtain blood back again up to the center, some sociable people believe piles are part of the price we purchase being upright creatures. If anal bleeding becomes heavy or adjustments color (such as for example from bright red to dark red), or if stools modify size, shape, or color (from dark brown to maroon or black), be sure to see your physician. Unfortunately, hemorrhoids could be normal and occur during the strain of a bowel movement relatively. About 70% of the populace have sometime in their lives suffered from piles or experienced experienced some symptoms linked to it. Based on the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Illnesses , stool softeners or dietary fiber supplements like psyllium can help reduce constipation, make stool softer, and make it easier to have quick, painless bowel movements.

Hemorrhoids are painful and may have a negative effect on your daily activities. "Six home remedies for hemorrhoids?." Medical News Today. Do not spend too much time sitting on the toilet chair, and yes, use cleaning aids. cause infection, lower back pain, hemorrhoids and other leading health problems. If you suffer pain from hemorrhoids and are searching for fast handling, then check out a store near you and see the different piles creams available. Besides, a few changes in lifestyle like drinking more drinking water and maintaining appropriate hygiene will assist you to get rid of hemorrhoids fast. Unfortunately, this hemorrhoid indicator aggravates the already existing inflammation on the exterior anal area, especially when the stool exits the body.

Since many foods that are high in fiber contain both types, including them in your diet is enough to not only relieve symptoms of hemorrhoids usually, but also to eliminate them faster. In that case, it produces an abrupt firm and unpleasant swelling or lump around the rim of the anus. That pressure often originates from straining during bowel movements and sitting for long periods of time on the toilet. The much less common of both forms, external hemorrhoids tend to be incorrectly self-diagnosed because many people mistake inner hemorrhoids - or your skin tags they can produce - for external piles. Studies have demonstrated that usage of apple cider vinegar for the treating hemorrhoids significantly reduces agitation of your skin around the anus.

The blood is generally bright red and may be noticed on the toilet tissue, in the toilet pan or covering the stools. This implies your piles or piles won't turn out your anus anymore and will shrink gradually. Internal hemorrhoids take place within the rectum or the inside of the anus. One type is named internal hemorrhoids and so are the inflamed veins found inside the pores and skin of the rectum region. Taking them can help reduce the symptoms of hemorrhoids. In case you are still confused about how to find the best hemorrhoid cream why not make a visit to your physician, there is nothing at all to be embarrassed about as that is a very universal problem and your doctor will be able to advise you of the greatest hemorrhoid cream they believe will suit you. Sometimes there are no symptoms and may not realise that any piles are had by you.

You may find scarlet streaks of blood on the toilet paper or scarlet blood in the toilet pan after having a normal bowel movement. Here is what you should know about why this treatment is considered among the best with regards to treating hemorrhoids. If you have the following symptoms you are most likely suffering from Hemorrhoids- Piles. You will likely only be prescribed medication which includes a steroidal if none of the additional creams on the market seem to be working out for you, or if you are dealing with a particularly serious case of hemorrhoids. After one treatment, your small, bleeding, internal hemorrhoids harden and shrivel. It really is true that hemorrhoids can occur internally and also externally. Hemorrhoids are collections of inflamed cells in the anal canal.

You have been thinking about treating your hemorrhoids without surgery for some time naturally. The classic symptom of internal piles is rectal bleeding noticed as bright red streaks on toilet paper usually, but blood may also be seen on the stool, on underwear, or in the toilet pan. Are you fed up with annoying, painful hemorrhoids? In addition to the known truth that the cream works, Equate Maximum Strength TREATMENT Hemorrhoidal Cream has various other qualities which make it a favorite among those who are suffering from hemorrhoids. It is seen as a a difficult lump in the anal canal and is normally accompanied by pain, itchiness, and bleeding ( 1 ). Male patient, 43 years of age, with acute symptoms of hemorrhoids, so severe his physician prescribed immediate procedure as the only feasible cure for his condition.

By age 50, about half the populace has experienced one or more of the classic symptoms, which include rectal pain, itching, bleeding, and perhaps prolapse (piles that protrude through the anal passage). This method may be applied to both male and female patients with varying degrees of symptoms, acute and\or persistent cases of hemorrhoids. Your stool will be softer, causing less strain during bowel movements, reducing the risk of the hemorrhoid enlarging. Your doctor should also be consulted about bleeding not brought on by a bowel movement, bloodstream that's dark in colour, or bleeding that is recurrent. Piles are anal varicose veins. Natural Hemorrhoid Creams. The major controversies regarding the treatment of hemorrhoids center on the indications for treatment and the choice of operative versus nonoperative therapy.

For large internal haemorrhoids or extremely uncomfortable external haemorrhoids (such as for example thrombosed haemorrhoids that are too painful to live with), your doctor may choose traditional operation, called haemorrhoidectomy. Internal haemorrhoids lie in the rectum and usually do not cause discomfort. Over-the-counter remedies, such as for example stool softeners and anti-inflammatory ointments, can offer short-term local rest from discomfort, pain and bleeding due to external hemorrhoids. Over a third of people in the United States experience hemorrhoids at some point. Haemorrhoids occur when veins in the anus swell and expand as a total result of excessive straining, and will be very unpleasant when sitting or moving a stool. Elastic band ligation (for internal piles): A couple of rubber bands are placed at the bottom of the hemorrhoid to take off its circulation.

The bleeding of piles can be well controlled with proper homeopathy treatment in 24 hours. The most common sign and symptom from hemorrhoids is pain-free bleeding. Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the low anus or rectum. There are two types of piles, internal and external. Another item to consider as the ultimate way to get rid of piles is usually Preparation H Hemorrhoidal Cream. Although effective for grades IV and III hemorrhoids, conventional hemorrhoidectomy is known to entail a significant recovery period and postoperative discomfort (strength of recommendation SOR: B). Hemorrhoid treatments must be prescribed by a medical doctor to become considered qualified to receive reimbursement with a consumer-directed healthcare account. Not only will the action irritate your hemorrhoids, but bleeding hemorrhoids can easier spread blood-borne illness.

The causes of hemorrhoids may be numerous like sedentary life style, heavy http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Hemorrhoids lifting weights, pregnancy, unhealthy diet plan, diarrhea or constipation, insufficient fiber in the diet and many more. When these internal hemorrhoids become noticeable they are different and moist in color based on the skin. Venapro is the 1st one we've noticed that uses two internally-based methods to act on the causes of hemorrhoids. Though it sounds like common-sense advice, but way too many people ignore it. If you delay using the bathroom, your stool might become dry and hard in your bowel, that makes it harder to pass. Its anti-inflammatory properties make it extremely effective in curing piles or hemorrhoids. Blot the anus softly after bowel movements with white wc paper moistened with water or a cleansing agent, such as Balneol.

There are various ways people may make an effort to shrink down painful hemorrhoids, which may be helpful at harmful or best at worst. American Gastroenterological Association specialized review on the treatment and diagnosis of piles. Blood clots in the hemorrhoidal tissue could be a sign of thrombosed exterior hemorrhoids. External hemorrhoids can get irritated and clot under the skin, causing a hard painful lump. Elimination of piles needs someone to eat foods that would reduce constipation, which may be the number one trigger for piles, and reduce pain. Ice reduces the amount of blood that's flowing to the area that will lead to a reduction of the swelling and shrink hemorrhoids. Experiencing hemorrhoids is unnecessary and Dr. Murrell can provide relief in the form of state-of-the-art treatment.

Internal hemorrhoids are painless generally, however, marked by visible blood in stool or on the paper primarily. Piles are an annoying, unpleasant problem. Having blood in your stool may also be a sign of other digestive disorders, such as colorectal cancer. Similar to the warm bath to soak the anus and feasible hemorrhoids, a sitz-type bath can relieve irritations and protruding hemorrhoids. Up Fiber Intake: Eat Plenty of Vegetables, Fruit - Since hemorrhoids result from straining and constipation, it should be no real surprise that upping fiber consumption can help mend the problem Fiber assists soften stools and is vital for colon health and digestive health as a whole. From this test, your physician gets a clear view of the within of your rectum to ensure that they can examine the hemorrhoid up close.

Persistent problems with hemorrhoids can be a cause of concern for other health issues, like rectal malignancy, anal fissures or anal abscesses. Another study, published in the Uk Journal of Surgery, looked at the result of flavonoids on 100 patients facing surgery to repair their bleeding hemorrhoids. These creams can come in forms so that you can coating the hemorrhoids or you can purchase suppositories (if you feel you can have the ability to use them). By firmly taking two pills before you eat breakfast, and for 7 - 10 days, they say you should have treated your piles for 6 months effectively. If a doctor thinks it is needed by you, they'll talk about stapling shut the veins that are causing the most pain. Hemorrhoids creams and oils differ from one another by ingredients and the reason behind use.

One of the primary problems faced during hemorrhoids is the nagging problem of passing stools. The purpose of nonsurgical procedures used to take care of hemorrhoids, called fixative methods, is to lessen the blood circulation to the hemorrhoid so that it shrinks or goes away. Use home treatments to control hemorrhoid symptoms. Sometimes, other problems can lead to the development of piles. Surgical removal of hemorrhoids (hemorrhoidectomy) can be used for large internal hemorrhoids, when many small hemorrhoids can be found, or when other treatments have not managed bleeding. Blood clots type within prolapsed external hemorrhoids sometimes, which can cause an unpleasant condition known as a thrombosis extremely. Although it can be unpleasant to wipe the anus area when there's a hemorrhoid present, one of the most important steps you can take to begin recovery is keeping it mainly because clean as possible.

When you strain while making or trying a bowel movement, blood vesicles Haemorrhoids can have unpleasant symptoms - bleeding when moving a motion, discomfort, itching and irritation. As the anal cushion of an interior hemorrhoid enlarges, it bulges into the anal passage, loses its normal anchoring, and protrude from the anus as a prolapsing inner hemorrhoid. Hemorrhoids typically are due to the effort to evacuate stool, pregnancy, persistent constipation or a low fiber diet. Most sufferers attribute all rectal symptoms to piles, however, are internal hemorrhoids painful or cause itching rarely. Your growing uterus puts pressure on the pelvic veins and the inferior vena cava, a big vein on the proper aspect of the physical body that receives blood from the lower limbs.

Take a sit bath in lukewarm drinking water (around 40ºC) for about 10 to quarter-hour, three or four times a complete day, to alleviate the pain associated with hemorrhoids. It is the only choice for external piles that are leading to symptoms and haven't improved with house treatment. There exists a fast and effective organic way to take care of thrombosed external hemorrhoids without the painful methods and their side effects. This formula works well in relieving the itching, additional and burning discomforts connected with hemorrhoids. The good news: A prolapsed hemorrhoid could be gently pushed back into the anus, thus, effectively which makes it an external hemorrhoid. Any other pain associated with hemorrhoids is generally due to a coexisting lesion such as a fissure.

Although these products help some interpersonal people, anyone who has painful external hemorrhoids specifically, some sociable people become allergic to them. This method of treating piles- piles was forgotten for years, but thanks to the research in the field of Ayurveda Surgery, it has enjoyed a resurgence. Place a frozen leaf on your own hemorrhoids up to three times per day. Internal piles involve the veins inside your rectum. Did you need surgery for your hemorrhoids? Haemorrhoids or piles are very common in people who suffer from long-term constipation or diarrhoea, and are associated Genetics - People with a family group history of hemorrhoids will have problems with them themselves. For banding, the doctor uses an elastic band to take off the blood circulation to the pile area inside the anus.

Hemorrhoids are irritated or engorged veins located around the anus or towards the low area of the rectum. Although some of the symptoms and root problems are similar to what causes hemorrhoids, diverticulitis tends to be a bit more serious and is related closely to age and poor dietary fiber intake. For grade three or four 4 piles, surgery is suggested by the physician, in which they remove the excess tissue that results in bleeding. Your GP can diagnose haemorrhoids (piles) by examining your back passage to check on for swollen blood vessels. I going for walks some days as soon as I have a bowel movement I'm literally afraid that once my own body begins to perspire(as moisture does build-up in the anus when strolling, exercising or jogging) it'll begin to affect that area and I've no place to stop and repair the problem.

Any external discomfort that you may be suffering from will be solved with this cream. Hemorrhoids may be a sensitive subject for most people, but it no has to be a painful one longer. External hemorrhoids take place as lumps or bulges around the anus. However, fortunately, many small thrombosed hemorrhoids resolve themselves after a few weeks, so if the discomfort is not unbearable, a patient could be able to wait them out. Medication that you apply right to your back passage (known as topical remedies) or tablets bought from a pharmacy or prescribed by your GP may relieve your symptoms and make it much easier so that you can pass stools. Internal hemorrhoids lie inside the anal canal, where they cause the symptom of intermittent bleeding primarily, with bowel movements usually, and mucous discharge sometimes.

Too much https://hemorrhoidscreme.com pressure on the veins in the pelvic and anal area causes hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoid creams like Preparation H contain phenylephrine, a substance that shrinks piles by constricting the veins (vasoconstriction), leading to less blood flow in the certain area. The physician will feel the within of the anal passage using circular movements, that allows him to examine the sphincter muscle tissue and the texture of the membranes lining the anus. The stapler is normally fired, resecting the excess tissue and putting a circular staple series above the dentate range, leading to resection of excessive internal hemorrhoidal tissue, pexy of the internal hemorrhoidal tissue left behind, and interruption of the blood supply from above. They help to cure ruptured veins which helps to stop the associated bleeding and pain and help piles treatment without medical operation.

Piles, also referred to as haemorrhoids, are swollen muscle and veins around your anus or in your anal canal. For internal hemorrhoids, take away the thorns from the leaf properly and cut it into small strips. It stops bleeding, cure soothes and piles your itching, pain and burning. Before it gets worse, you can make use of creams that are created for treating hemorrhoids to avoid them from swelling an excessive amount of that will cause you pain. People who have swollen hemorrhoids don't always feel pain, though they might experience bleeding, anal swelling and soreness. And because it shall reduce the aggravation that hard stools trigger, it will speed up the hemorrhoids healing up process. Eating a high-fiber diet plan can help make stools softer and simpler to pass, reducing the urge to strain during bowel movements.

When Jutabha et al compared endoscopic elastic band ligation with bipolar electrocoagulation for chronically bleeding grade II or III internal hemorrhoids that were unresponsive to medical therapy, ligation controlled rectal bleeding and various other symptoms with considerably fewer treatments (2.3 ± 0.2) and had a considerably higher success rate (92%) than electrocoagulation (3.8 ± 0.4 and 62%, respectively). You're also much more likely to develop piles if you're overweight, pregnant, have a family history of haemorrhoids, regularly lifting heavy objects, or sit down for extended periods of time. This will, leastwise, need a digital rectal exam and, perhaps, an anoscopy, where the doctor will visually inspect the anus and anal canal with the aid of a device consisting of a hollow tube and light source.

[compasscleaningsolutionsblog]

Consistent Commercial Floor Cleaning, an added expense or an investment?

From the outside of your building to your windows and floors your businesses reputation ultimately goes far beyond your products and services.

Commercial floor maintenance

, for example, is often looked at as an expense rather than as a way to actually save a business money and extend their professional appearance.  However, when you consider the replacement cost for tile flooring and compare that to the value of refinishing a floor several times a year, the cost savings is undeniable.

Consistent Floor Care

Getting your business on a regular floor care plan with a qualified commercial floor cleaning company experienced in proper floor care can save you thousands of dollars and provide you a lovely floor finish that will 'reflect' well on your company.

Beware however of janitorial cleaning companies that want to strip a floor every time they stop by to clean. When stripping a floor, a little bit of the floor tile is removed along with the finish which can shorten the life of a floor making it more costly in the long run.

With today's finishes and proper application tools, stripping once every several years is all that is needed as long as the floors are cleaned and refinished correctly in a manner that is consistent with your unique traffic patterns.

Regular scrubbing and refinishing a floor as well as frequent buffing and burnishing can not only reflect well on your business; it can also push the inevitable replacement cost out several years. Scrubbing is similar to stripping in that some finish is removed (top layers only) and a low-speed machine is used to remove the finish. The big difference is that a cleaning solution is used instead of a solvent stripper and only the top layer of finish is removed.

Protecting Your Hard Flooring Investment

Do you have flooring in your office other than carpet or VCT (Vinyl Composition Tile)?

What about wood flooring, ceramic tile, laminate flooring or an exotic floor like Bamboo?

Do you have suspended flooring for electrical conduit or telecommunications cable?

The one thing that these floors have in common is that they can all be ruined by excessive water.  For example in the case of suspended floors, the damage can be even more catastrophic if electrical circuits are shorted out.

Microfiber & Flat vs. String Mops

Does your commercial cleaning company still use the old dirty string mop and yellow bucket to clean your floors?

Using a string mop has the highest potential to damage your floors, and yet over and over again we see cleaning companies using these tools.   With the technology available to dramatically improve the cleaning and protect your flooring we have to wonder why they are still utilizing old technology.

The system that we recommend and use every day is based on microfiber and flat mop technology.

Microfiber holds up to seven times its weight in fluid and because its 'capture and hold' capabilities far exceed that of standard fabric, very little moisture is used and therefore left on the surface of the floor.

With the capture & hold feature excess water will not damage your floors and the water will not penetrate suspended floors to cause even more damage.

The added benefit of a microfiber mop is the ability to remove more dirt and grime leaving your floors cleaner and absent of milky streaks left by traditional mopping systems.

Regular Carpet Cleaning Reduces Costs

Having your

commercial carpets cleaned

regularly by a professional commercial carpet cleaning company can improve the filtration qualities of your carpet and add to the life expectancy as well.

Keeping your carpets clean can actually improve your bottom line and your health.  Carpets act like filters that trap bacteria, dander, and allergens. By catching these particles, they are kept out of the air.

The bad news is that those same carpets can't keep filtering particles indefinitely. We replace or clean filters in our car, our water system and our HVAC and tons of other applications, your carpet is no different.

If your carpets are not regularly and thoroughly vacuumed, we recommend one to two times a week as the buildup of particles can become a problem not only for the air quality but appearance and performance as well.

Establishing regular cleaning service for daily, or at least weekly, vacuuming and regularly scheduled carpet cleaning will help you keep your carpets clean and beautiful and will extend their life for several years, which again will ultimately save you money.

Carpets and Workplace Illness

There are two opposing views on the contribution of carpets to workplace illness and allergies.

On one side is the view that carpets act as a filter and remove dust, bacteria, and allergens from the air. The assertion is that since these things are trapped in the carpet and are not floating free in the air, it’s better for workplace health.

On the other side are those who say that it is precisely the trapping nature of the carpet fabric that makes it so unhealthy.

In either case, regular cleaning of your carpets is imperative.

Benefits of Professional, Recurring Carpet Cleaning

Extend the life of your carpets and defer the replacement cost by several years

Remove potential allergens, dander, and bacteria which will lead to a healthier work environment

Restore and maintain the beauty and functionality of the carpet which adds to the positive perception of your business

At Compass Cleaning Solutions we recommend that carpets be thoroughly vacuumed at least 1-2 times every week with a vacuum equipped with HEPA filtration to prevent dust from being reintroduced into the air and to remove all dirt and bacteria that collects in carpeting.

If your carpets are in a high traffic area, they should be vacuumed more often. Also, having carpets cleaned on a regular schedule will remove the buildup of dust, dander, and bacteria that vacuuming alone cannot get.

To learn more about how commercial floor & carpet cleaning can help your bottom line

contact Compass Cleaning Solutions

or call (602)606-7900 or toll-free (877)221-1213 today!

[borderlineratlady-blog]

REVIEW | Book | Mental Health Related | Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard.

I had bought this book because of the link to Mental illness in the story.  I was disappointed for the first half of the book.  It turns out that the main character's sister Tarin had Bi Polar but they really didn't go into it.  Also nothing happened. Set in Brighton, England, two best friends Caddy and Rosie lived a pretty normal and peaceful life.  They were different schools but had maintained their extremely close relationship for ten years despite mainly only seeing each other on the weekends. Caddy is pretty much a good girl.  Never got in trouble, always did her homework, got average grades but really tried.  Rosie is your average teenage girl, likes to party on the weekends and drink alcohol but is relatively good also, not getting into trouble and working really hard at school. Then everything changed.  A new girl started at Rosie's school and they quickly became friends.  Suzanne was a very beautiful, confident and as you get into the book, a very mixed up girl with a very bad wild streak. Caddy struggled with the Suzanne situation.  She felt jealous about her having time with her best friend and was quite suspicious of her.  She was so used to it being just Rosie and her and now there was this third person, a mysterious, beautiful and suspicious had thrust themselves into the twosome.  So she did some digging - i.e. stalked her on facebook and found out that there was something very dark about Suzanne and made her aware that she knew.   For half the book you literally just learned about Suzanne's past.  She had moved to Brighton to live with her aunt Sarah as she was getting abused at home in Reading by her step-dad.  You learned more and more information about how bad the abuse was the further into the book you got. Then things got very interesting and tbh I could not put the book down when it did.  Suzanne had apparently been sneaking out of her house at night.  At first Caddy was shocked to discover this, but slowly she learned that not only was Suzanne wandering around Brighton when she was supposed to be sleeping, she was having sex with one of the boys from her school, drinking and smoking pot.   These things thrilled Caddy as she had never done anything she considered interesting in her life and wanted to be more fun.  More like Suzanne.  One night, Suzanne turned up at Caddy's house.  Sarah had gone to Caddy's house to see if she was there and she got busted.  Caddy got in a bit of trouble and her parents had started to get concerned with the friendship.  Eventually Caddy learned that Suzanne had tried to kill herself and this set in motion the wanting to fix her. In the early hours, Suzanne turned up at Caddy's again, this time persuading Caddy to climb down the drainpipe so they could chat and hang out.  That seemed to be the pattern that continued for the rest of the book.  Sometimes they would go down to the beach and hang out and during these visits is when we learned most of Suzanne's issues. Things between Caddy and Rosie started to breakdown and they were arguing a lot.  Suzanne tricked Caddy into going to Reading, where Suzanne had grown up and hanging out with her old friends, under the pretence that they were going to catch the train back.  However, while sitting in a park, sharing a bottle vodka mixed with diet coke and Caddy smoking her first joint, Suzanne dropped the bombshell that she wanted to stay the night in her old house as her parents had gone away for a wedding anniversary weekend.  Caddy was scared but also completely thrilled at this.  She was just so in awe of Suzanne and desperately wanted to be liked by her and have life experiences she felt she had been missing out on that she did whatever Suzanne wanted. There was big trouble for both girls after that.  They were banned from seeing each other.  Rosie had already fallen out with Suzanne and decided she was a waste of space after she ended up getting suspended for throwing a chair in school at the boy she had been sleeping with when he called her a slag, and then got back with him at a party a couple of days later. On being banned from seeing Suzanne again, having her mobile and her laptop taken away from her, Caddy waited until her parents went to sleep and sneaked out of her house.  She ran straight to Suzanne's house, knocked on her window and they both left together.  Suzanne was shocked and felt quite guilty for being such a bad influence on Caddy but they ended up hanging out anyway, They went to an old abandoned building, found their way in and then climbed to the roof with the aim of watching the sun rise together. That plan went horribly wrong however.  Caddy fell through the roof and landing on the ground 20ft down.   After that everything escalated badly.  Caddy survived but had a broken leg and a shattered wrist.  She was on a lot of morphine for the pain and was in and out of sleep for a few days when Suzanne turned up at midnight.  She had sneaked out and sneaked into the hospital room.  She stayed a while and they talked.  Suzanne was being put into care as Sarah could not handle her anymore.  She went to the hospital to say goodbye. A few hours later Caddy woke up in a panic as she had remembered some worrying things that Suzanne had said and was putting the pieces together.  Suzanne had said she would rather die that go into care.  She said that she was beyond help and a few other bits of information, coupled with the fact that Suzanne had already tried to kill herself once, she knew that she had planned on doing it again. Caddy managed to alert her dad of her worries and thankfully Suzanne was found and she was ok.  She had decided to take an overdose but they had found her in time.  Caddy did not get to see her after that for a long time as Suzanne had been put into a hospital for children with mental illnesses straight after being let out of hospital. Seven weeks later, she got an email from Suzanne requesting a visit from her.  Caddy went to the hospital and was so excited to see her friend and couldn't wait for her to come back to Brighton when she had those hopes dashed.  Suzanne wasn't going back to Brighton.  She was being fostered by a couple with experience of kids with mental health issues and they lived in Southampton, a two hour drive away from Brighton. So what did I think of the book?  The first half was boring.  The second half?  I loved it and couldn't put it down.  I found it very interesting in how I felt when reading the book, my reactions were very me as a teenager, and most probably now too as they are BPD symptoms.   There was a lot of behaviours that Caddy was portraying that were very unhealthy.  However, they are behaviours that I also did and didn't really see what was wrong with them.  The fact was that Suzanne needed help and she wasn't really getting it and as her friend Caddy wanted to be there for her.  However, her parents would not let that happen and I found that unfair because isn't it what friends do for each other?  But apparently its unacceptable to do it at fifteen.  I could see things more from Caddy's pov than the adults and I couldn't understand Rosie's issues very well. I totally related with Suzanne and her problems.  I too was an out of control wild teen that pushed every boundary I ever came up against, even if I didn't particularly want to, the thrill of rebelling and pushing was too hard to resist.   When reading the book I felt so excited and felt that familiar old thrill running through my veins and I loved it.  The sheer recklessness and danger was so exciting.  Typical Borderline reaction I know but I never thought I'd find the thrills in a book lol. Overall I would definately recommend this book and I will be looking out for more books from Sara Barnard in the future.