#and not for lack of trying its a work in progress if u will but. god.

[pinkseas]

girls who have all their lives struggled with worthiness and have spent a solid decade convinced that they were undeserving of love fighting desperately to be good enough to be loved in any capacity by anyone at all, constantly failing constantly being left behind, when someone they dearly care for and genuinely trust just Very Casually tells them that they are easy to love

[nerdy-novelist017]

omg i love ur writing sm✨🩷💋

do u think u could write sumthin like benny coming home to finding u snuggled up on the couch in one of his huge shirts?????

Thank you for this super sweet request, Anon! Sorry I've been taking forever to get around to the requests, but I'm trying to get back into the routine of working on them a little bit every day. Hope you enjoy!

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 1.1k+

T-Shirts (Benny Cross x Shy! Reader)

Benny cursed under his breath as he stumbled over the threshold of the front door. He’d been out with the Vandals, not an actual meeting, just a night out with a few of the main members. He’d invited you as he always did, but you declined. You had told him that you wanted to have some alone time after a long day at work. He understood – girls needed their ‘me time’ to pamper themselves or whatever, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to miss you. You were sometimes all consuming to him, his thoughts almost always ran back to you. Johnny and the boys could see it, anyone that really knew Benny (few as they were) knew he was completely infatuated with you. He was drunk off your touch, your voice, your smile. How could he be separated from you for long? So as the night progressed and he accepted more whiskeys being slid in his direction, his thoughts of you became more hazy, more melancholic and finally Johnny took pity on him and told him to go home. 

The slight buzz from the beers he had early did not mix well with the lack of lights. Usually, you left on the front porch light for him when you knew he would be out late and you were going to bed early. But it wasn’t the case tonight he realized as all the lights in the main level of your house were turned off. As he tossed his bike keys onto the entryway table and flipped on a light, he wondered briefly in his intoxicated mind if you were upset with him and this was your passive aggressive way of punishing him for staying out late, but that theory quickly diminished when he caught sight of the couch. At first glance, it looked like just a pile of throw blankets, but he was convinced he could spot your familiar form no matter how much light there was in the room. 

He slipped out of his boots and jacket, standing there for a moment longer in appreciation. A lovestruck smile overtook his face at the view of you curled into your side, that yellow blanket with white flowers (one you had begged him to buy when you first moved in together, stating that it was the perfect piece to pull the room together. He honestly couldn’t have cared less about the living room or its decor, but the smile on your face when he put it in the shopping cart made it suddenly the most important detail.) pulled over your body, a forgotten book laying face down on your chest – a clear indication that you had once again fallen asleep while reading. Your mouth slightly agape, your features looked so soft and girlish that it took Benny’s breath away knowing you were his. Even though he saw some incredible sunrises, sunsets and starry nights when he went riding, you were without a doubt the most beautiful sight he got to come home to. 

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he crossed the room, stooping to trace a hand across your face, brushing the tousled hair from your eyes. With his other hand, he looped his fingers through the spine of your novel, making sure to save your page mark as he placed it on the coffee table. His left hand moved beneath your knees and his right supported your back as he effortlessly lifted you into his embrace. That’s when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, the white material clearly oversized on your small figure. He didn’t know a simple white t-shirt had the ability to be sexy, but clearly he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was because you had the talent to make just about anything look painfully arousing on you. And nothing at all. And to make matters even harder for Benny, he knew it wasn't your intention when you put on his shirt to look sexy, you probably weren’t even aware of the effects of your body in that damn oversized t-shirt and the way it clung to your chest as he lifted you, nor the way it molded around your hips. You were certainly not aware of the sudden twitch in his pants because of the way the garment just seemed to make you look even more of the little bunny that stole his heart. 

“Benny?” your muffled, half asleep voice hit his ears like the sweetest melody as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Stealin’ my clothes, Bunny?” he teased and you sunk further into his embrace, not quite awake enough to catch his playfulness. He carried you up to your bedroom, using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He placed you gently on your side of the bed and almost laughed as you tugged him back down to you for a messy kiss. 

“I like the way it smells like you,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, the action pulling on Benny’s heartstrings. 

“You may have to keep it. Looks better on you,” he smiled as he stepped back to change into something more comfortable. 

“Whatever you say, Cross.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your words slurring together. “I tried waitin’ up for you. Did ‘ya have a good time?”

“Go back to sleep, Bunny,” he coaxed gently, smiling as your blinks were growing longer by the second. That was always something you wanted to do: you liked to lay in bed and talk about your days if they happened to be spent apart. You encouraged him to talk more than he’s ever talked in his life. Sometimes he felt as though your chattiness was rubbing off on him, but you never interrupted nor discouraged him from expressing his thoughts. He loved you more for that. “There’s plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow.”

“M’kay, come lay with me?” you asked and Benny scoffed because was that even a request you needed to make? He was drawn to you like a moth to flame, he couldn’t resist having a hand on you while he slept. It was like some instinctual urge projecting him to keep you near, to keep you safe, even while he was floating in the realm of sleep. 

He shook his head as you muttered a final incoherent sentence into the side of your pillow, eyes falling shut again. He crawled into bed behind you, slipping his hand around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. A soft, content sigh escaped you, and Benny looped his hand into yours, pulling it up to his lips in a soft kiss as he whispered “I love you, Bunny.”

-Tag List-

@imusicaddict  @elizabeth916  @jaiuneamesolitaiire  @dudii4love @ironmooncat  @beebeechaos  @astrogrande  @pearlparty  @themorriganisamonster  @sillylittlethrowaway  @ughdontbeboring  @penwieldingdreamer  @charmingballoon  @eugene-emt-roe  @sunnbib @semperamans  @groovyangelkisses  @killerqueenfan @cynic-spirit  @pomtherine  @tranquilty  @m00npjm  @twisteduniverse5  @justsomewritingblog  @nhlfs  @thepassionatereader  @rebecca-hvnstn  @nethanybear @dreamlandcreations  @buckysteveloki-me  @simsiddy  @zablife  @sansaorgana  @autumnleaves1991-blog  @butler-trouble @lindszeppelin

 @wavyjassy @real-lana-del-rey   @ilovehyperfixating  @xcallmetaniax  @lovenewfandoms   

@youngestxhearts . @abaker74  @ateliefloresdaprimavera  @thefallofthedamned

@hottpinkpenguinreads @nctma15   @vendylewin   @capswife  @alexa4040   @sweetestrose569   @18lkpeters  @thedreamingfish99   @mrsalwayswrite 

[siyooungi]

HAII i love ur works sm THEYRE HONESTLY WELL WRITTEN. NO THWYRE A MASTERPIECE i always smiliny n shi everytime i read em🤭

i act have a request!! can you please write a idol!huh yunjin x yn. theyve been in a relationship for almost a year. ANDD yn is a shy person,she rarely talk cause shes insecure w her voice and the way she pronounce stuff(she has lisp? she can’t properly pronounce the letter S” so means yunjin rarely heard her voice.

yunjin did try to convince her multiple time that yn voice is the most beautiful sound in this world,its like a lullaby to yunjin.

THEN on their first anniversary,yn decided to suprise yunjin. yunjin woke up to a singing vd by yn HSJSHSHS OMG the vd is like this https://youtu.be/V-1vBrlD0Bc (lets pretend thats yn???!3!3!3)) YEAH so maybe you can come up w rhe ending cause i act dont have any idea for that hehe. THATS ALL FROM ME THANK YOU SO MUCH MY BRO ILOVE U SM (you dont have to do the request if youre busy<3 it just at thought from my brain hehe)

A/N: Awww, thank you so much!! That really means a lot. Although the video was unavailable, I can only imagine how amazing it sounded. I really hope you like this then!!

Pairing: Yunjin x Fem!Reader

Idol: Huh Yunjin (Le Sserafim)

Warning(s): None!

Yunjin is someone you’d consider your greatest supporter and hype-woman, as there was not a single day that passed where she wasn’t treating you like you were a prized possession. She loved everything about you, everything, from all of your little mannerisms to the beauty you possessed. On top of that, she made you the happiest girl in the world. Some might even consider her the ideal lover, a role that suits her entirely.

You, however, despite all of the never-ending praise and love she showered you with, were burdened by a deep insecurity that prevented you from fully expressing yourself. You dealt with a lisp, which made it difficult for you to pronounce the letter 's,' becoming a source of self-doubt and unease.

Yunjin, being the loving and supportive girlfriend that she was, had repeatedly reassured you that your voice was a treasure, a melody that resonated deeply within her heart. She cherished every hum and shake of the head that you used as substitutes for words. Hell, she even got excited when you spoke a few words. It was all she would typically get when you spoke to her. Despite Yunjin’s best efforts, you remained hesitant and continued to limit your speech, unable to believe in your own voice's beauty.

As your first anniversary approached, you did your best to overcome your fear and surprise Yunjin with something you’d hope she’d feel proud of. Considering you don’t speak often, you figured the least you could do was use your voice for your anniversary. Although she adapted to your lack of vocalness, that didn’t mean she didn’t want it. She’d made it clear every time she tried to evoke more words out of you. Whilst you were more quiet, you expressed yourself through actions. That was something she was always grateful for.

On the day right before your anniversary, while Yunjin was away at practice and you had the place to yourself, you mustered up all your courage to do what you had been planning for awhile.

With trembling hands, you composed yourself and positioned your phone before hitting the record button. Taking a deep breath, you began to sing.

The sweet, tender sound that escaped your lips filled the room. Your voice carried a vulnerability that mirrored your own insecurities, yet it was also infused with a profound love that only Yunjin could truly understand.

When you felt that you sang enough and brought the song to an end, you stopped the recording. It wasn’t necessarily long, but it was more than enough. Well, at least that’s what you hoped.

Feeling satisfied with the progress you made, you locked your phone with a smile. You would send this to Yunjin when she headed off to sleep. She was going to stay the night with her members and drive back to you on the day of your anniversary.

Fortunately, that day arrived rather quickly. You were still asleep by the time Yunjin had awoken. She wanted to wake up early so she could get a gift for you and then head your way, hopefully arriving before you woke up.

Yunjin’s alarm went off, waking her up and earning a groan in response. She picked up her phone to look at the time, squinting her eyes as they attempted to adjust to the brightness of her screen. As soon as her eyes were used to it, she did just that and while doing so, she noticed a message in her notification center. Wondering who could’ve possibly texted her while she was asleep, she unlocked her phone and checked.

It was from you, morphing her confusion into exhilaration. She clicked on the message and saw that it was an attachment, returning her puzzled expression as she sat up straighter and tapped on the video.

The sound of your voice filled the space of her room, bouncing off the walls and gracefully entering her ears. The latter couldn’t help the emotions that washed over her at that moment.

Yunjin's eyes welled up with tears as she listened, captivated by the beauty that resonated within every note. Your voice washed over Yunjin like a gentle wave, drowning out any doubts or insecurities. In that moment, she realized that your voice was not just a lullaby to her, but a symphony of love and vulnerability that transcended any imperfections.

The video eventually came to an end, causing her to quickly wipe her tears away and jump out of bed, forgetting to respond. She rushed to get ready, nearly tripping over her pants as she hopped on one leg to pull them up.

She was ready in record time, putting her phone in her pocket and grabbing her bag. She quickly double checked the bag for the necklace she bought you before closing it and running outside. Her manager knew that she was planning on getting you some flowers, so they already had the car ready by the time she made it outside.

Yunjin hastily got into the car and closed the door. Sensing the younger girl’s urgency, they sped off and headed to a local flower store. As fast as she entered the vehicle, she exited just as swift.

She searched the shop for your favorite flowers and and grabbed them as soon as she spotted them. Not wasting any time, she paid the owner and sent a thankful smile their way before rushing back out.

It didn’t take long before she arrived to your place. Thanking her manager as she got out, she made her way to your front door, knowing you’d still be asleep. She had the spare key to get inside, anyways.

Once inside, Yunjin took the small jewelry box containing your necklace and put it in her pocket, as well as placing the flowers on the counter. Yunjin tiptoed through the hallway, careful not to make a sound. She gently pushed open your door, revealing a scene that melted her heart. There, lying peacefully under the covers was your sleeping figure.

A tender smile graced Yunjin's lips as she observed her sleeping beauty. She couldn't help but feel a rush of overwhelming love and admiration. Kneeling beside the bed, Yunjin reached out to caress your hair, her fingertips gliding through the strands with utmost care.

As if sensing Yunjin’s presence, you stirred, slowly awakening from your blissful slumber. Your eyes fluttered open, and a tired but content smile adorned your face. Seeing Yunjin before you brought a spark of joy to your eyes.

"Hey," You murmured, your voice filled with warmth and love.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Yunjin whispered softly, her voice carrying a gentle tenderness. "Happy anniversary, my love."

Your smile widened as you stretched lazily, reaching out to pull Yunjin closer. She intertwined her fingers with yours, putting your hand on the pillow and leaning in for a soft kiss.

"I am really lucky to have you," You murmured, your voice laced with sincerity. "Thank you for being in my life."

Yunjin stayed close and she looked you deeply in the eyes, smiling fondly. "No, thank you for making every day brighter, for being the love of my life." Her voice was filled with a deep affection that resonated within their shared space.

“And thank you for allowing me to hear that beautiful voice of yours. Best thing to wake up to.” You felt your flush from realization. You completely forgot you sent her that video of you singing before you went to sleep.

“Ah..”

“Well, second best thing to wake up to. You’re first.” Yunjin spoke as she used her free hand to caress your cheek. The reason behind your flushed face was no longer from embarrassment, but instead from your girlfriend’s words.

“Just come in the bed..” You mumbled, patting the space beside you. If she wasn’t within such close proximity, she wouldn’t have heard you. Smiling, she did just that and laid on her back, turning her head in your direction. While you were beneath the covers, she was on above them, considering she was already dressed for the day.

You observed as she got comfortable before inching closer, wanting to be as close as possible, evoking a chuckle out of the raven haired girl. She happily embraced you, allowing you to rest your head on her chest.

“Do you want your gift?” Yunjin asked quietly, playing with your hair and looking up at the ceiling as she waited for your response. You hummed, not wanting to get up.

“Not at the moment. I just want to cuddle for awhile.”

Pleased with your answer, she planted a kiss on your forehead before resting her head on yours. Your breathing synced up with hers and you closed your eyes, feeling a wave of drowsiness wash over you again. She knew it wouldn’t take long for you to fall back asleep, so she closed her eyes as well. You both would be able to further enjoy your anniversary when you woke up.

A/N: Thank you for the request, and love you too!!! <33

[002yb]

I cried during your whole reply to the late ask. But please consider: Dick can't stand to look at Jaybin bc he feels too guilty and sad and he still thinks its his fault. And little jaybin is sad bc nothing has changed Dick still haces him no matter how much he loves him and Jason goes full mother on him bc a) he gets it, those are his feelings b) its a kid and Jason cant stand to look at a kid sad and c) if no one is looking out for him he might as well do. Damian is very !!!! Bc his position as jasons baby is in danger but also thats Jason as a *baby*. And Jason is just mothering two kids and Dick is taken out at the knees bc Jasons so perfect and protective and omG he wants to cry everytime he sees them. (Bruce is crying ln the corner and staring holes onto them) (Jason confronts Dick about making Jaybin sad and Dick cries)

Im so sorry this is so long but i got thoughts that i wanted to share bc your posts always make me happy<33 hope youre doing good and take it slow and one step at a time<3 love u<3

The angst potential from this angle of the double-Jay!AU, oh dear. It hurts in a different way from this post. But yes, let's explore:

Where Jaybin is so excited to see what's become of the future. He's eager to see how his small family is doing and if it's grown, what all Batman & Robin have achieved - what Jason has accomplished. More than anything, he wants to know that all their efforts have made a difference for Gotham.

Needless to say, Jaybin is left...unmoored, for lack of better words.

Because everything is wrong.

Bruce won't look at him. Dick still avoids him. Gotham is still fucked up. And just - Jaybin is welcome in the mansion, but it doesn't take a detective to realize that future Jason is estranged because everyone hates him, too

And ughhh, Jaybin trying to mend those burned bridges because he's alone and without proper support, but it's like he's a ghost

So, because Jaybin knows that it must be his fault, he singles out Jason. Without really understanding what happened, Jaybin blames himself and tells Jason to fix it.

Because Jaybin wants his dad back. He wants his family.

Jason being blindsided by 'his' upset feelings although they're nothing new. He's sat with them for years. No one understands more than him how fucking bad this grief hurts.

But Jason is Jason and while he feels a compulsion to help, the subject matter strikes him dumb temporarily

So Jaybin grieves because he can't understand what went wrong. Something something, he lashes out and says some cruel things about how they should just die

And that's what Damian overhears and like. This boy does not take kindly to the cruelty.

There's a Damian/Jaybin throwdown that finally snaps Jason back into action. He separates them and sends Damian off with a promise to tend to him later, but for now - Jaybin

With Jason patching Jaybin up. And them having a bit of a heart to heart.

Where Jason hears out everything that's bothering Jaybin and answering as patiently/kindly as he can. Things with Bruce? Can't fix that. Gotham? Work in progress. Bat methods are a joke, so he's trying his own thing.

And Dick?

What about him?

Jaybin kicking out his leg and grumbling about how Dick still hates them. He avoids Jaybin like the plague.

Jason being surprised at that. While it made sense back in Jaybin's timeline (something Jason has begrudgingly come to understand), Dick seems the sort to capitalize on a situation like this. Jaybin is, objectively, darling. And easily teased.

Jason grumbling about how Jaybin must have that crush by this point in time, huh?

Jaybin flustering because what? No. Shut up.

Jason snickering, then getting melancholic and soft. He shrugs and admits nothing comes of it. Better to give it up.

Have you?

It's the biggest call out.

It's not something Jason is dealing with, so he slaps a bandage on Jaybin's face and goes to tend to Damian

Which leads to sleepovers at Jason's flat. Where Damian bristles like a territorial cat because Jaybin is encroaching on Damian's Jason/space/etc. The only reason Damian behaves himself and begrudgingly looks after Jaybin is because Jason requests it of him. Damian definitely isn't happy about it though.

Which leads to a whole other side plot of Damian learning about who Jason was before he grew to be what he is. And Damian recognizing qualities he really loves about Jason in Jaybin, but also the differences. Like how all Jason's jagged edges aren't yet so piercing. Jaded, but not yet wrecked.

And of course Damian falls in love with Jason all over again contemplates his discoveries to Dick. Who is fondly reminiscent because he remembers well and sees it all, too. ;U;

But what's more? Dick recounting stories of the sparse times Jason and he were together. Damian noticing how Dick is so soft and melancholic and regretful.

Which, like - just hang out with him? Jaybin is here. Now's the time to make things right.

Which Dick is adamantly against because he's of the mindset that he'll make things worse. He always does with Jason. And Damian is fully just l: because really, Grayson? Pathetic. He wasn't there before; be there now. If Damian knows anything with any certainty, it's that Dick is unashamedly relentless. Is Damian wrong? )<

More than anyone, Damian knows the importance of Dick just…showing up. So.

Which leads to Dick asking Jaybin to go on patrol with him.

Needless to say, Jaybin, Jason, and Damian are dumbstruck because what

Jason and Damian? Jealous af (though Jason bites his tongue while Damian spits and sputters because he's Robin, damn it). Jaybin though? Starry eyed with the most brilliant of smiles

Commence a lot of Dick and Jaybin bonding as Dick steps up in the way he couldn't before. All while Jason and Damian get all huffy and petulant in the background.

But it's cool because Jaybin invites Dick over for dinner at Jason's one night. Which forces Dick and Jason to spend time together in a domestic capacity. But before that:

Dick being let inside the flat by Jaybin. And Jason peers around the corner to the kitchen because who the fuck?

His eyes going wide because wtf is Dick doing here?

'Whatever it is - it wasn't me.'

Which makes Dick grimace because he's not here on a case, Jaybin invited him

Jason being all wary because that's just how things are at this point. Still, he lets Jaybin have his company. It's fine. It's whatever. Jason was cooking extra anyway.

And yeah, something something Dick watching Jason be a caretaker

Dick minding his own business before Damian kicks him beneath the table and glowers at him because: 'don't get any ideas, Grayson.'

To which Dick is !! because what? No! No, no.

It's just surprising/disarming/sweet, is all. Dick's never seen Jason in this capacity. //3///

And yes. More dinners. Family patrols. Dick being brought more into the loop and Jason begrudgingly allowing Dick into their family unit space. Something something, Dick running errands after work or bringing home food. Everyone going out for some outings. Joint patrols. Just strong family vibes that heal all of them, tbh. ;U;

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[filledwithfullmetal]

ok opinion!! fma 03 ending was not that bad and even good actually..

it was a gigantic deviation from the manga, but the whole 03 anime was already more of its own thing. the ending completely fits the vibe, and while it was a bit exposition-y and a lil silly i think that it is a great ending for that show nonetheless. im sad not more ppl know it, bc the angst potential is just wow!! especially for fics!!

sorry adding one more opinion: fma03 carried ed's personality (esp the more tropey parts) (tho fmab did work more on him), ed in fma03 just felt like a kid and slowly became more harrowed by the stuff that happened,, u could feel the unresolved trauma seeping off him in the ending which i like.

sorry for the long ask! im just a sucker for angst and esp for fma 03 <3

YOURE SO BASED!!!!

i admit its been quite a few years since ive seen the end of 03 but i think people who try to compare it to the manga/brotherhood are making a mistake when they do that. 03 and brotherhood are both good stories in their own right, and i think 03 did fantastic creating a storyline of their own

also you're so right about the character progression in 03! like in brotherhood, they only really focus on the more heavier plotlines, so they ended up cutting out a lot of lighter plotlines and side characters. i get why they did that for the sake of getting to the content 03 didnt cover but at the same time the lack of light-hearted plotlines in brotherhood made it so we dont get to see ed's character growth to quite the same extent

[sliceofdyke]

what r ur favorite wlw movies u would recommend (and also possibly where i could watch them for free)

also unrelated but i was trying to remember the url u had right before this one and i can’t 😭 i’m terrible at remembering stuff like that. but i feel like u always have urls that are so You, like i remember i came back after a hiatus once and u sent me an ask like “oh im maddie btw this is my new url!” but i could already Tell lol bc it’s always aggressively aquatic and/or sapphic. queen of urls fr 🔥🔥

HI STARRY!!! resident dyke at your service 🫡 pleased to share some of my favs! linked is each movie's letterboxd, and ill also share where i watched them! (i recommend watching on a computer with some sort of adblocker extension like ublock origin.)

saving face (2004) dir. alice wu - MUST WATCH for all the gaysians out there! it's about a closeted chinese-american lesbian and her traditionalist mother, and centers on their relationship as well as both women's individual struggles in love and life. it's primarily a comedy but it has its serious moments, and i absolutely loved every second. racial and cultural familial expectations are an element present throughout this movie, and that's one of the reasons i like it so much. but i think it's presented in a way so that people who aren't chinese can understand! also, the relationship between the mc and her love interest is so engaging, and it really captures the struggle of many queer relationships where one person is more "out" than the other. the first site i found that has this movie in good quality was 0123movie.net!

next up is the incredibly true adventure of two girls in love (1995) dir. maria maggenti!! this movie was so good i audibly yelled at one point. although it's a lesser-known indie movie with a low budget, it has a raw honesty and heart to it that modern queer cinema often lacks (cough cough euphoria cough cough love simon). i was absolutely sold on the two mcs' chemistry and the progression of their relationship, and i loved how their blossoming first love was portrayed so authentically complete with all the rough edges and awkward glances. randy and evie were so endearingly dorky and cute, and i related to them SO bad. the heartfelt depiction of a multiracial sapphic teen love story really made me burst with joy. also a note to anyone who watches: trigger warning for pedophilia, lesbophobia & the d slur, verbal abuse, and threats of physical abuse. i can elaborate on these if anyone wants! btw a lot of more popular p1rating sites don't have this movie, but one that does is braflix.ru!

we all know her. we all love her. it's bottoms (2023) dir. emma seligman!! truly one of the best satirical works of our generation /srs. it's about two lesbians who end up starting an after-school fight club to lose their virginity before the end of senior year, and the shenanigans that ensue. bottoms does not take itself seriously at all, and lots of things make no sense plot-wise, but that is exactly what enables it to be so hilarious and silly. class periods are less than five minutes long, there are curse words in the school announcements, murders occur that are never addressed. and it's so FUN!!! a super good movie to watch with a group of friends that are as gay as you are. trigger warning for blood (lots of it) and comedic use of homophobic slurs. you can watch it on most p1rating sites but one that i've seen has it is myflixerz.to!

fourth, the half of it (2020) dir. alice wu! another masterpiece by miss wu, this time about a nerdy introverted high school girl who gets roped into ghostwriting love letters from a cheerful jock to the hot girl he has a crush on, and she ends up falling for the crush as well as they become friends. i watched it a couple years ago and rewatched it last year, and i loved it both times! i really appreciate how it's a story about friendship above all else and shows how platonic love can be just as important (if not more) than romantic love. and from what i remember, the filmography is also really good. this one is also available on myflixerz.to!

last but not least is kase-san and morning glories (2018) dir. takuya sato! anime movie about the budding romance between a shy gardening enthusiast and the charismatic ace of the girls' track team. this is a perfect movie if you want to watch something very low-stakes and laid-back! you can watch it on allmanga.to (this site has no ads on mobile which is so nice). i watched the subbed version but there is a dub as well. this movie is based off the manga of the same name, which finished in 2017, but there is also a currently ongoing sequel series about the couple's post-high school lives! if you're interested in reading that after watching the movie, feel free to reach out and i'll send you the website i read it on.

some other sapphic movies i've been meaning to watch but haven't gotten around to yet are: but i'm a cheerleader, the watermelon woman, portrait of a lady on fire, the handmaiden, and desert hearts!

hope this helps :)))

[goose-duck]

♡Our World♡ (pt. 1)

Killer x Reader

Killer from One Piece comes to our world and meets u :D

Pt 2

~~~~~~

I was at work, not doing anything really, my boss has me working security at an empty court house. The place smells bad and has a rodent problem, but it's quiet so I don't mind. I was on my phone, writing a One Piece fanfiction. I love One Piece, it's always been my favourite anime. It was made before I was born in 2005, but my mother loved it so I often watched it with her as a child and I fell in love.

As I continued to write I heard a strange sound and saw a headache inducing light in front of me. I had no idea what I was looking at but it sure as hell wasn't normal. I get headaches easily due to a head injury so I wasn't even able to look at the light to see what was going on…to be fair I doubted a person without a head injury would've been able to either. My ears start ringing and my head feels light but not in a good way, the radio feels like it's blaring and I can't keep my eyes open. I was starting to get worried with this strange light, it wasn't coming from anything in the room, it was just there. I hold my head, trying to stay conscious as it feels like my head is exploding.

Suddenly it all stops and there's a man standing in the middle of the courthouse. I recognize him immediately, Killer, from One Piece. What the hell? Why is he here? Am I dead? Is this heaven?? Maybe it's hell…why would it be hell, he's my favourite character..? As I continue to ask myself questions with no tangible answer he turns his mask covered head to me, “hey.” he says, almost in a questioning tone but it sounds more like he’s just trying to get my attention. I quickly snap out of my thoughts and look up at him, “hi.” I say meekly, still confused and even a little scared, the lingering effects of my headache making it hard to keep my eyes open, all lights still bothering me.

He doesn't come any closer to me however he does turn his body to face me, “where am I? Did you do this?” he asks sternly, demanding an immediate answer with his tone. I get scared, I think he's really cool, but I wouldn't doubt he'd make me regret living if he thought I did this, “no…no! Nuh uh! Not me! That sounds really suspicious…uh…it wasn't me, I swear! I do however think you're in a different reality…” I say, trying to sound as normal as possible and quite frankly failing to the largest degree. He relaxes a bit, realizing there's absolutely no way I could have done this. He then sighs again, “another reality? What makes you think that?” he askes, sounding almost stressed, definitely worried and confused. “I mean…your name is Killer, right?” I say, almost unsure despite his appearance. It’s not a common name, if its his it'll be obvious who I'm talking to. He looks stunned, I may not be able to see his face but his body language is more than enough to tell how he feels. “yeah. That's my name.” he somehow seems less trusting of me now. He continues, “how’d you know that?” it's a good question to ask, even if I know he's from an alternate reality it doesn't explain how I know his name. I start sweating a bit, this is getting stressful, “because…um…uuuuhhhhhhh” I start panicking so I just make a weird noise and freeze up.

I stop with my stressed groan and just sit there giving him a very obtuse look. He crosses his arms and I'm sure under his mask he's giving me a look too. This has got to be one of the worst shows of my lack of social skills ever. He sighs and relaxes his body, “I'm not gonna hurt ya” he says, trying to reassure and calm me down so I'll talk. I start trying to stutter out my words but I make no progress, some weird squeak coming out of my throat instead of words. I begin to get annoyed with myself and sigh dropping my head onto my desk, “fuck.” I mumble under my breath. He walks over to me, causing me to quickly sit upright to get further away without looking rude. He notices this action isn't just me sitting up, it's me being afraid. He backs up a little, holding his hands up. I mumble out an apology, “s-sor-fucking…ugh…sorry.” I try to calm myself and speak with more conviction however it doesn't work very well, I sound as pathetic as before, but I've got a calmer look on my face. He nods at me, silently acknowledgeding and returning my apology.

I sigh for the millionth time, still trying to collect myself. I begin trying to explain in terms he’d understand, “I know your name because you're from a book in this world…the author drew you on the cover of one of the books. Does that make sense? Do I sound crazy? Who am I kidding of course I do…especially now that I'm talking to myself…” I start rambling towards the end, changing from talking to him to myself. Killer seems to be a little concerned with whatever my problem is but he understands my explanation. “you sound a little strange, however this whole situation is strange so that's not a big deal.” he responds, reassuring me I don't sound completely deranged. I nod at him, an awkward smile on my face.

I ask the question that needs to be asked, “so what now?” he hums, “I need a place to stay, would you be okay with that place being with you?” he asks politely, he's giving me room to back out but I'm sure he more than knows I'll say yes, either out of pity or because he's a character from a book I like. I nod at him, “yeah, yeah, that's okay, we can do that…uh…yeah.” I squabble out at him in response, trying to hide my excitement. He looks around, “is this your house?” “no, I just work here” “ah, it smells weird” “no kidding, it smells like old people” he seems to hold back a laugh at that…right, he doesn't like his laugh���hm…I wonder at what point in the story is he from..? “hey, Killer..?” I ask tp get his attention, he looks at me, “hm?” I take in a nervous breath of air, “what's the most recent event that’s happened in your life?” his body language screams confused, “what? Why? Shouldn't you know, you've read whatever book I'm from.” I respond quickly, “oh, uh, just so I don't spoil the future potentially” he nods, “Kid and I just left Wano.” he states calmly. “ah…okay…don't read the book or anything then.” I say a little quieter than my previous words. “oh? Okay.” he says, presumably giving me a strange look under his mask.

I sit there for a second before striking up a conversation again, “I'm here for a few more hours, then I can take us to my house.” I inform him. I'm lucky, not many people can afford a house nowadays, many struggle even with an apartment, I'm just lucky my grandparents left me their house. Killer nods at me, he doesn't seem to mind that he’ll have to stay at the courthouse for a few hours. I wonder if that's because he probably does a lot of just sitting around on a pirate ship…they have no internet or anything on one of those…though he'd have people to talk to, at this job it's just me…sometimes I wonder if it'll drive me crazy. At least I have him to talk to now, even if he is a man of notably few words, at least someone's listening and I don't come off as completely nuts.

He seems fascinated by the radio I have on. It makes sense, snails do this stuff in his world. My old school radio from the 80’s definitely isn't a snail. “whatcha thinking about?” I ask, not wanting to just assume I know what he's looking at. “this thing…what…what is it?” he sounds relaxed with me now, however I still sounded skittish. “oh, it's a radio, it's an old one from the 80’s.” I say, then I realize ‘the 80’s’ is probably something he's not gonna get and I mentally slap myself. “a radio? The 80’s? What year is it?” he asks sounding a little distressed again. “a radio works like a snail and its the year 2024.” I respond nervously. “oh.” he says, sounding very perturbed. I try to change the topic, finding the atmosphere is getting uncomfortable, “want a cookie? I bought one at Tim’s earlier.” I hold out a chocolate chip cookie to him. He takes it from me, “thanks.” he then turns away, presumably to eat it. I debate telling him I've already seen his face in the book or not but I decide not to for now, I'll let him show me if he wants to.

After he finishes the cookie he turns back around, “it was good…tell Tim it was good.” He seems to have assumed ‘Tim's’ is a small personal restaurant or maybe a friend, that tracks, in his world it probably would be. “Oh…uh…I can't…it's a restaurant chain.” “A restaurant chain?” “Yeah.” “What's that?” “Corperate business?” “Nope” “ugh” “sorry” “no, don't..I…ugh…it's like if I restaurant had some power in the government?” “Oh…alright.” That was a bit awkard, but I did enjoy hearing his voice a bit more, it's nice, the sub and the dub, he's always got a beautiful voice. I get a bit ballsy and tell him that, “you've got a nice voice.” He turns his head to look at me, seeming to check if i was telling the truth. After a few seconds of stunned silence he responds with an awkward, “thanks.” he then stands there for a few more seconds, thinking about something, “what's your name?” oh right, I hadn't introduced myself, “oh…Y/N.” he nods, “it's nice, suits you.” I giggle a bit, “thanks, picked it myself.” “you did?” “yeah.” “why?” “my old name didn't ‘suit me’.” “ah, I get that.” “you do?” “kinda.” “I belive you.” “thanks?” “you're welcome!” I enjoy the quick conversation, we seem to have a deeper understanding of each other now.

A few hours later and me and him are talking like long time friends. He's still got some walls up, but we're able to just chat, it's nice. I realize it's 5:00pm and I can go home so I start closing up. “what are you doing?” he inquires. “closing up so we can go home.” I respond, flicking the lights off, “can you help me with teh blinds? Some of them are hard to reach.” he nods and gets up, going to a window and twisting the thingy to close the blinds, he continues until they're all closed. “anything else?” he askes, willing to help me further if I need it. “The chairs out front, they're such a pain to bring in…I bet it'd be easy for you.” I ask, giving him a small sweet smirk. “why?” he asks. “why bring them in or why do I think it'd be easy for you?” “both.” “there's gonna be a hurricane, I don't want the chairs to blow away. Regarding the other thing…I think your eyes work well enough for that one.” he lets out what sounds like a scoff and a laugh, “yeah, I can see that.” I giggle a bit, “nah I'm so strong.” “sure, buddy” it feels like he's smiling behind his mask so I smile back. He then nods his head and leaves to bring the chairs in for me.

When he comes inside I ask him to close the door behind him, telling him we'll be leaving through the back door. He closes the door behind him and walks over to me packing up my work stuff, “I have the next two days off so we can spend some time together and I can teach you some basic stuff about this world so it's easier for you to be here.” “alright, sounds good.” he says, picking up my monster energy drink and looking at it a bit strange, “uh, weird drink branding…what is it?” “just an energy drink.?” “why do you need that?” “I've got no energy…also it tastes good.” “why do you have no energy?” “anemia.” my answer is so blunt it seems to stun him a bit before he nods and gives a small hum of acknowledgment. “think you can hold it for me? My hands are full and I gotta be able to lock the door.” I ask him, he once again nods at me. I then head for the back door, unlocking it so we can leave, then locking it behind us once we're bothe out.

“which way to your house?” he inquires. “huh? Oh, right. You don't know what a car is..” I respond sheepishly. “a..a what?” he seems confused, which is the obvious emotion one would feel in this situation. “those things that have been going past the building all day.” “do you live in one of those?” “no, but some people do.” “why mention them then?” “they're a mode of transportation.” “I see.” I then walk over to my car, a small orange car, nothing special, “this is my car.” he looks at it like it's the strangest thing ever, “it's very orange.” “I wanted it to be easy to find.” “you definitely can't miss it.” I giggle in response. I then think for a second…will he fit? Probably…he'll just have to move the seat back. He seems to be thinking the same thing, “will I fit?” he asks, his body language seeming a little worried. “yeah, just put your seat back…wait…no…I'll do it for you.” I unlock the car, putting my things behind my seat in the back. I think walk around to the front passenger seat and get in, pushing it back for him. Instead of getting out and walking around the car like a normal person I just climb over the center console and sit in the driver's seat. “alright, get in, buddy boy!” I say casually. He gets in, seeming to snort under his breath a little at my antics. He closes the door, thank the gods that's obvious enough that I don't have to explain it.

I put my seatbelt on then I look at him in anticipation for him to do the same thing…he doesn't. “uh..um…you see that thing above your right shoulder?” “the metal thing?” “yeah.” “what about it?” “pull on it.” he pulls on it. “put the metal bit in the red thingy” I point at it and he does it. I hear the click and nod, “that's a seatbelt, you gotta wear it in cars for safety.” he nods…he does a lot of nodding. “You can handle being on a ship…so…uh…you probably won't get car sick, but tell me if you feel sick, okay?” I ask him, giving him a lightly worried look. “I will.” he responds, turning his head to look at me. I start the car and his breathing seems to stifle a bit before he calms down. “you good?” he nods at me, “yeah, just wasn't expecting that.” I nod at him, takinga page from his book and not saying anything further. I then start driving, he doesn't seem too worried about this, given he's on Kid’s crew I imagine he's dealt with worse.

Once we get to my house and parked in the driveway I unbuckle my seatbelt and look at him again, hoping he caught onto that. He looks at me awkwardly…clearly he didn't get that. “push on the red thing you put the seatbelt in” I whisper to him as if someone else would hear. He awkwardly nods and does it. I then get out of the car, him following soon after, still holding my monster…he's been holding it this whole time…oops. I grab my things from the back seat and walk up to my house, unlocking the door and walking in, giving Killer a gesture to follow. He follows behind me, closing the door when he gets inside. My house opens to a small space with some stairs upwards. I kick my shoes off and walk upstairs. He follows suit, however being a bit less aggressive about taking his shoes off, opting to slip them off rather than just violently kicking them off. He follows me up the stairs that leaf to the living room, kitchen and a hallway. I set my stuff in the kitchen on the counter by the back door, he sets my drink down there too. “thanks.” I say giving him a soft smile when he sets my drink down. “you're welcome.” he says. I'd half expected to just get a nod but this is nice.

I walk more into the center of the kitchen. “I'll give you a quick tour!” I say with some slight enthusiasm, he nods in return, watching as I walk back over to the back door, “this is the back door…obviously…” I then turn to the right, “this is a washroom.” I turn to the right again, “closet.” he nods at me and watches me slide on my socks back into the center of the kitchen, “kitchen!” I do a large enthusiastic gesture like this is some grand show. I then walk over to the left where the dining room is, it's just a table on the other side of the kitchen counter, “dining room…” I then wonder into the room next door that funnily enough doesn't actually have a door, not from this side at least, “den area.” he follows me into the room, observing it a bit and seeing some things that tip him off that the town he's in is near the ocean.

I then open the folding wooden door and walk through. He doesn't immediately follow, he's looking at a shelf beside the door, it has my graduation picture and pictures of my friends and two of my cousins. “who are these people?” he points at a picture of me and two boys as kids. “oh, that's me and my cousins.” “ah” “why do you ask?” “kid kinda looked like you.” I giggle at the irony of the kid actually being me. He seems to look at the pictures like he's looking for something. “you good?” “huh? Oh, yeah.” I seem to have caught him off guard. I give him a look, one that says ‘what are you looking for’ before shaking my head and continuing with my tour. “This is the living room!” I say enthusiastically, diverting his attention completely away from whatever he was thinking. He looks around in here too, noting how it's more vacant than the well decorated den.

I then go down the earlier mentioned hall, “there's a bigger washroom over here..” I point at the first door on the left, “and every other room is bedrooms. Mine is that one” I point at the last door on the left, there's only four door down this hall, meaning the other two are guest rooms. “the one with the queen size bed is the last door on the right and the other one has two twin beds. He nods at me and goes down to the room with the queen sized bed. He hesitates to open the door, “go in” I encourage. He opens the door and looks I side. He looks at the room like it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen. “something wrong?” “red, green and yellow…um…everything?” “yes?” “why?” “because it is.” he looks at me like there's something wrong with me. The rest of my house looks normal except for this guest room…I couldn't be bothered to fix it because I'm not in there often so it looks like how my grandparents had designed it.

“My room’s right across the hall if you need anything.” I say with a friendly tone. He nods at me and despite his judgment of my guest room he thanks me for giving him a place to stay anyway. “we'll deal with the clothes problem tomorrow, I think you'll be okay for tonight, right?” he nods, “yeah, I'll be okay for now.” I smile at him, “wanna see my room?” “sure.” I open the door to a relatively normal room, a bit messy and there's some One Piece related things but it ultimately looks normal. Why does it looks normal? Because there's a room I haven't shown killer yet. It's got my gaming set up and all my merch from different things i like…it's also got a washing machine and a drier. “nice room.” “thanks.”

“what about that room you walked past earlier?” “what room?” “the door in the kitchen?” “oh.” that's the door to the room…guess I'll have to show him. I signal for him to follow me and I open the door, theres wooden stairs that lead to an open space. I walk down and he follows. Once we get down there and around the stairs he sees many One Piece and other interesting merch items, he also sees my PC set up and a landry machine…he then sees the figures I have of him and he barely contains his laughter. “your laugh is beautiful, however, do not.” I look at him with shame and embarrassment. He struggles to hold in his laughter, snickering under his breath but calms himself and nods. “it's…great.” he tries to tell me, “don't lie.” “it's amazing.” “Killer.” “Y/N.” we stare at each other for a bit before I start laughing and he does too, he clearly is embarrassed by his laugh but can't stop it so I reassure him, “your laugh is so lively, I love it!!” I continue to laugh about my tragic obsession being on full display. He continues to laugh but gives me a genuine thankful smile for my compliment, it's like he's never heard someone say they love his laugh. Maybe he hasn't, but I love it, I do, I really do and I can see he knows it. Even if I can't actually see the smile on his face his body language changed instantly after I said that, he was calm with me anyway but it seemed like any lingering concerns melted away.

Once we both stop laughing we go back upstairs. He offers to make supper since he's gonna be staying with me for a bit and I have to break the news that I have practically no food in my house. He seems confused at that…why did have nothing here? What do I even have? “what do you have?” he asks. “uh…” I'm not even too sure myself anymore. I open the fridge to see milk, orange juice and bread. I then open the freezer, there's microwave steamed buns and some ice cream…and a frozen chocolate bar for some reason?? What the hell was I doing?? I then go to the cupboards, there's bearpaws and goldfish crackers. “um…sorry?” I uppologize confusedly, unsure if he'd be upset with me.

He just pats my head, seemingly feeling bad for me. “I won't take your food tonight.” he says kindly, walking off to the guest room, probably to sleep so he doesn't feel hungry. I feel bad that I have no food…I don't have the money for food…Killer doesn't seem upset with me, but he seems worried, he feels bad for me and my lack of food. I sigh and go to my room too, I didn't even get to show him the TV or my phone but maybe that's for the best for now…give him some time to think about what he's already seen. I go to my bedroom, not to sleep, but just to play games on my phone for a while. I'll wait for him to come talk to me if he wants to tonight and if not then I'll see him in the morning…presuming he's still here in the morning.

[soobrat]

hi.. im the anon who sent u an ask about ur updating! i read your last post and it made me extremely sad :( im sorry you feel your work isn't appreciated I only found you after mosquito pt 1 so im very new to your blog and i actually find your story telling very unique especially on tumblr. im not sure how to put it but the way you portray certain emotions and how things progress through a story i can tell you care deeply about what you create which makes it even more sad that you feel embarrassed by your engagement, im just one person so i cant do much on my own but i can say your followers or engagement aren't a reflection of the quality of your work. Dont give up yet! you are a good writer and have so much potential! if you choose to stay I’ll try to continue to support you here - 🐼 (I’ll use a panda emoji frm now on so u know its me!)

one of the things that makes me sad about leaving is readers like you, while I was writing the post I kept thinking about all the people who always engaged with my content though there weren't many of them.

I want to emphasize that the biggest reason for my leaving isn't the lack of engagement, just so many other things that need to be done that take priority. It's just that the lack of engagement made me less willing to attempt to weasel it in to my schedule.

In saying that, this isn't a permanent goodbye because I do like writing and I do care for my existing plotlines. This isn't even the first time I've "retired". But I wanna take the time to thank the people active who I saw frequently in my notifs like @hwanghyunjinenthusiast and @morel-z

I know there are more but I can't think of them at the moment. I also wanna thank you, 🐼

[princeanxious]

are you out of the TSS fandom for good, do you think? just burned out on lack of updates?

I mean, it's complicated.

Edit: pressed answer instead of save to drafts while trying to back out, tumblr what the fuck

Anyway, it's complicated. I've become burnt out creatively lately, and I've been part of the sanders sides Fandom since 2018, it's been a big portion of my life, I'm not letting it go that easily.

However, this is my main blog, and I cant really shift everything to a new side blog, so I do feel bad for those who followed me exclusively for sanders sides are now seeing a v distinct lack of it.

But for the most part, yeah, I'm burned out on a lack of updates, I was a fander creator doing as much as I could to create content to entertain myself just as much as for others in-between the hiatus-gaps while awaiting updates. I love these characters with all my heart, but every gap in between has gotten longer and longer, I can't keep waiting for a year at a time for one single update even if the finished product is grand and *absolutely worth* the time it took to make. I was scrambling, bc I no longer have the time I used to to create my own fanart and fanfiction and animatics for this fandom, and I can only reread the library of my favorite saved works over so many times before I feel hollow and under-stimulated.

It'd be one thing if the rest of the fandom was as active as it used to be, I bounce off others creative energy far easier than single handedly manifesting my own inspirations all the time. But it's not, and interaction with my own content slowed way down. (Not to say that I'm leaving just bc of this or anything, but its become a struggle to feel motivated to keep going when there's literally nothing new from Canon to keep riffing from.)

I have the want to finish my remaining fics, specifically The Lost Guardian in particular at the very least, but I just can't solely be a sanders sides blog like I used to be.

I'll be here when that season finale comes out, but at this rate of progression, I think Thomas has overestimated the fact that this could very well be a series finale, not season finale. And I've come to peace with that, if only Thomas would be more transparent abt it.

Sure, Thomas has other content, but funfact, I've had very relatively low interest in getting super into it, there isn't the same level of comfort in shipping characters of a single person with the versions themselves when other characters played by other people are involved, especially when u know that they are alot of his v close friends. I don't ship real world actors together, especially if they play a character very close to representing themselves. The characters they play, maybe, but that's why I'm far more entertained and comfortable with animated media.

In short, I'm tired and burnt out and for now-for *whatever* reason- the silly lanky clown jesters from fnaf have more of a grasp on my brain than sanders sides does. I'm following the serotonin.

I may still create sanders sides content in the future, but getting maybe 100-500 notes on a piece when u have a fandom following of roughly 11.5k followers from over the years has spoken volumes on how active the community is rn. I'm not leaving, but I can't be stagnant and hyperfixate on this anymore after doing so for almost 6 years straight. Yknow?

And for those who have always left a comment, shared my work, interacted with me in any capacity over the years in this fandom, and have made my time in this fandom worth while, thank you. I love you. U have made every second worth it💜

[halfbit]

Im struggling to find ur lore amongst the chaos could u tag me in it please??

I wanted to read what u got since u seem to like mine a lot, i wanna show u the same support u gave me ^^

ahh LMAO ofc!! i have a complicated relationship with organization but i'm trying :'D i'll send it your way

in the mean time, here's part of something that i haven't publicly shared anywhere yet? it's a work in progress since i want the final version to include illustrations (which aren't done yet) but this segment is more or less ready. ＿＿＿＿

the information in this paper is based on the works of kanohen haeto, often dubbed "the father of modern folklore", whose books such as heas komin living legends and yaga senka night secrets have shared the stories of our past with a new generation. his academic works are also some of the most comprehensive collections of written folklore of our era. we would also like to thank ayaten omiwa[1] for her wonderful and striking illustrations accompanying this article. the goal of this project is to examine the roles and characteristics of animals and animal figures in the traditional folk culture of the southern continent, we will not be going into (most of) the world myths and tales of the gods, instead, these are the first stories we told, and some still tell, to our children. they are our fables and our warnings, our answers and our bedtime stories. at the end of this, the reader will have just scratched the surface of these tales, but that will still be a success. tens of thousands of history, lessons, and memories of tens of thousands of our ancestors cannot be held in the hands of a single work. even kanohen haeto cannot write down what has been forgotten before he could hear it. this is just a small catalyst, but perhaps it will serve to make a new generation ask what has been forgotten, and to preserve what is still remembered before it is lost all the same.

.............

countless species of birds have called saonkaya and our neighboring nations home throughout history, but some have left more of a mark than others on our tales. the most significant may be the seika, the name of a sea bird that centers many of our fables. the exact bird being spoken of has been forgotten, but common assumption is that the folklore seika is likely an aralik or naeseika based on the limited physical descriptions we have. the seika of folklore though is not so much a species as it is an individual, with a history and relationships of its own which makes it a bit of an unusual starting point. however the seika still shares some common characteristics with other birds in folk tales, for instance, often acting as the troublemaker, or in more charitable representations, the stubborn youth. that may be why the seika and other birds are so popular in children's stories, they are quite relatable to the rambunctious children they serve as lessons for. in one of the seika and betkai folktales, seika's red tail, the story centres on the seika's stubborn and impulsive nature, and the consequences of its lack of caution or preparation. when seika gets speared by a iseluba while diving into its hunting waters, the seika is so blind to its mistake that it does not even realize it has been injured until it lands on the betkai. seeing how seika's tail has turned red, it is only betkai who asks, "have you been hurt?" and the seika gives the quintessential seika answer, "if i am, it is not enough to matter." other birds, in folklore often cousins or family of seika, are usually not as extreme in their temper, but they are still reliably reckless. in the tale of taipha and the silver pond, she is so taken with her reflection that she does not warn the other creatures of the pond's danger. instead she lashes out when they plummet down for disturbing her, but does not stop them from drowning. in another variation of the tale, she becomes so incensed by the continuous interruptions that she kills every fish in the pond so that it will only have value to her.

when not contributing to destruction, in some instances birds may serve as guides, as in the black desert and the songbird, a saonkayan folktale in which a tallo guides a fisherman's daughter to a desert where each grain of sand is a precious gem. this has likely given various songbirds in saonkaya their unique association as good omens of fortune or wealth. this is less common though in pre-saonkayan stories, in the case of the little bird that turns lakes red, the titular bird is instead an omen of plague and other illness. when birds are part of a pair or ensemble of animals, they tend to be selfish and cruel instigators that often cause their own downfall, such as in the chain of betkai, where seika steals betkai's shining chain, refusing to give it back even when betkai loses his fur and claws. they are usually not particularly bright though, betkai is able to get his chain back by telling the humans where seika nests, and seika is unable to fly away fast enough with the heavy chain in its claws. still, they refuse to drop it, and it makes them easy prey. in a similar role, a baral poisons the tree it nests in so that other birds won't make it their home, and then wails to all who fly past when the poison takes their own hatchlings. however, birds are not the only creatures that fly the southern skies, and the distinctions are significant in folklore especially. the henmao has shared several stories with its brothers in flight, usually acting as an opposing force, though often not a benevolent one. in the story of the feather banquet the henmao, irritated at the incessant noise of a kakaun wedding procession, descends upon it in a feast of anger. they also show up in the henmao and the keman, where the henmao has to face a creature with even more explosive anger than it, the henmao does not seem to be a creature of pure anger though. in fact, unlike the seika, it is often risk-aware, it simply does not care as long as it thinks it can survive the retaliation. in this story the henmao ends up bringing in a third party, a young mouse, to negotiate between it and the keman. they reach a mutual agreement, and eat the mouse to seal the deal.

a more agreeable flying beast would be the untaolo, which was said to aid the hero tasuma as her wings in her battle against a wyrm, and even in less intense stories the untaolo is often a symbol of loyalty. it can fly away freely, and yet it will always return to those who have good will. there is even an old proverb, "if an untaolo turns tail to the king, you best follow." in some stories, untaolo may be associated with death, although not as a bringer. in the traditional funeral rites of some communities, especially in saira and ramoon, there is often a verse that asks for an untaolo to guide the deceased across the river of the gods.[2] another that shares the untaolo's associations with death, but not its reverence, would be the cuural, in greater myths cuural have been servants of the spirits of death, and it was bad luck to see one, especially during travels. cuural were said to steal away the health and life of people who had been unharmed or well, because they were always in competition with eachother to bring more people to their lords. since cuural travel in packs and are opportunistic feeders, including scavenging on corpses, they also got a reputation for making a feast out of the fallen in battlefields. their fiercesome faces likely aided their poor reputations, and in recent times, there have been some attempts at legislation to criminalize the excessive and ecologically unnecessary culling of their population, but none have come to fruition, and sightings get rarer by the year. perhaps one day we will only remember them by their roles in these old stories. most people would rejoice. ending this segment on an interesting example, there is a particular story that has recently had a wave of retellings, but the original is the bakotamu's daughter. the bakotamu was said to be a close relative of betkai, and shared betkai's ability to shapeshift into a person, but was often much more willing to do so, and there are many stories of it changing into a person for many years to live among humans. because of its close association with human affairs, the bakotamu has been characterized with many different traits throughout history. it is sometimes benevolent, but it can be equally vindictive, there are just as many ways to beckon a bakotamu as there are to expel it. the bakotamu in the bakotamu's daughter is an anxious and stubborn example, and they are famously very concerned by the matters and opinions of gods. they cause a great deal of suffering for their daughter due to their inability to accept her existence, and are ultimately left to anguish on their actions for time eternal. this story is often said to be why the bakotamu's face is forever streaked with tears. whenever wrong is being done, the bakotamu finds reason to cry for it, even if they have done it to themselves. because of this, they are often a comedic victim and villain in their own folktales, and children will be told not to cry unless they're a bakotamu at times. this has been a brief but broad sample of birds and other beasts of flight in folklore and fable. in the next segment, we will cover land beasts, from above and below ground. they are often the other half of a pair in a story, alongside the prior introduced birds, so we will now begin to be able to compare a more complete picture of animal dynamics as characters in our traditional stories.

footnotes 1. art created by me, damnit↩︎ 2. if someone is not particularly well-liked, the untaolo may still be invoked, but may be asked to leave them to drown instead↩︎

[snow-ii]

feeling like you are about to give up? do this

original draft created on 12.09.2022 posted on 15.03.2023

are you tired of getting constantly discouraged and 'failing' manifesting? try doing this!

disclaimer alert !! im making this post with hopes to help some who might be out there trying out every technique but still failing to make any visible progress. by no means im trying to push my loa beliefs on anyone nor im trying to overcomplicate loa, or spread limiting beliefs this is simply a lil push to people who are about to give up !

another disclaimer alert !! you dont need any technique to manifest, and there arent any rules in manifesting, manifesting is instantaneous. you creat your own rules.

had to make sure i clarified it properly cause ik some of u like to argue ahha :,)

anyways keeping all those in mind, scroll down

Alright so by now you've probably heard/seen that it definitely takes less than 3 days to manifest something or for a mindset shift from 'in the state of lack' to a 'state of abundance' right?

and if you are still reading you probably has overconsumed information and is constantly trying out new techniques trying all that to get what you want. and u r probably blaming urself and doubting your power whenever a minor inconvenience happen.

....right?

let's do some activities for that!! and im 100% sure if you manage to do it properly you'll reach the sabbath/god state in no time.

there are 4 activities in total let's get into that !

Ⅰ. removing everything from your brain ⅠⅠ. affirming ⅠⅠⅠ. embody your desire state ⅠV. living in the end

Ⅰ. Removing everything from your brain

Now at this point if you feel like your brain is about to blast from all the information you've over-consumed. Let it all out. Forget about all off them. Like fr do it. ok BOOM ! 😵‍💫ooooookay

now read this and read it and re-read the points i'm about to tell you until it gets into your head!

( just so you know this is strictly based off how i view loa and the whole manifesting thing in general so there might be some information that's inaccurate or that might not align with your beliefs but at the end of the day its what works for me so :) )

Law of assumption = whatever you assume true, is true

3D and 4D

3D is the reality where your senses function, litreally everything you see, feel, hear, smell, taste is in the 3d 4D is your imagination, that's where assumptions/ thoughts are created ( by you 🫵 ) your 3D acts as a mirror which is constantly reflecting the persisted assumptions in your 4d. The whole point of loa is not to change your 3d, but to change what goes on in your 4d so that 3d will reflect it.

3. To get what you desire, let go of the old story, change your thoughts to match with the new story

you have acne and you want to get rid of it the more you identify yourself as a person who has acne = the more you get it when you start thinking and identifying yourself as a person who has clear skin, that would be reflected in the 3d

4.You create your own rules

This is very important !! There is no set-in-stone rule for loa, infact there are no rules at all !. However we as individuals can create our own rules to make manifestation easier for us.cause againnnn what u assume is true= is true, so if you assume your rules will help you manifest that would happen. lemme give u an example :p

i will speak about how i view loa. ( feel free to skip this part its not that important ) i believe we shift every second not even second, every millisecond? nah even quicker than that. i believe with every choice i make, multiple realities are created where i selected another choice. i believe everytime i grow the desire for something, everytime i imagine something a reality is created where i have it/ or it happened. i hope you understand what im saying lol :D so what i do is i act as if i already have what i desire which eventually shifts me to a reality where i actually, already have it.

5. Logic doesn't matter

it doesnt matter, at all. you can manifest flying, having wings hell you can even manifest a unicorn. the possibilities are endless. please dont let anyone convince you, you cant manifest a certain thing just because its seemingly 'impossible' or 'illogical'

6. You are not an exception

please please please my love dont you ever think that you are an exception to loa just because u 'failed' to manifest something, or just because u feel like everyone's more successful than you in manifesting. that is litreally not true, you are the operant power in your reality, you are GOD excuse me? how dare you doubt yourself. who else will hold the godly power in your OWN reality other than you? um

to summarize all of it : assumptions create reality, 3d reflects the persisted 4d assumptions and thoughts, to manifest something change your thoughts and start thinking in a way how you would think if you already had that certain desire, keep persisting on that ! make your own rules, there are no logic involved so go crazy with it :)

if you read up to here and realized what you've been doing wrong and is now confident in manifesting congrats !!

but if you still feel like you need a lil push or something to try out to grow more faith, keep reading :)

this is initially a 3-day activity thingy but honestly if you feel like you want more time you can continue each activity for more than a day .

first choose what you want it can be litreally anything.... huge boobies? clear skin? idkkk a mansion?? anything

ⅠⅠ. Affirming

ok so first of all what's affirming? what are affirmations?

basically affirmations are statements, that you can use to remind yourself what you already have

for ex. I have clear skin, I have feline eyes. I love being 5'6 tall. Isn't it wonderful to live in new york? ( these are some random stuff that popped in my head lmaodaj )

now on the first day i want you to affirm no matter the circumstance, keep affirming affirming. see something in your 3d that you didnt want ? affirm. while going to sleep? affirm. while peeing, shitting? yea affirm

ignore the 3d, stop paying attention to it.

the language, your choice of words doesnt matter.you can literally make up a random word like 'loo' and assume affirming that would work, cause rmr you create your own rules ;)

yea keep affirming. at some point you'll feel like no longer affirming cause you've done successfully convincing and reminding yourself of what you already have <3

this is mainly done to saturate your mind and to ensure less wavering will be done.

ⅠⅠⅠ. Embody your desired state

on the second day start embodying the way how you would be when you have your desire, thrive in the feeling of you already having it. practice yourself to feel how natural it is to be in the state where you already has it.

ⅠV. Live in the end / Keep your thoughts in check

( do this while continuing the previous step !)

the last thing you have to do is, for an entire day or two keep every thought/ assumption that you get in check. Sounds impossible but its always good to try isnt it!?.

The moment you get a thought think to yourself. ' would i think this way if i already have what i want?'

like that do it for a period of time and im 100% sure in no time you all the struggling you go through to manifest will disappear.

edit / 3.15.2023

i dont agree with several stuff ive said in this post rn but i still think its a bit helpful, i didnt really go thru it that much so expect lot of typos and grammar errors

[traewilson]

Currently thinking about Disney's Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. Watching modern Disney films always makes me think about it; about the things we've lost in the pursuit of one arbitrary definition of "progress". We are, today, all of us, be we audience or executive, slave to the here and now. The trends, the hot new things. It's a major problem in the culture, with how we view art as "dated" or "old-fashioned" as being objectively ontologically inferior, lesser than, destined to be consigned to the dustbin of history.

But it's all arbitrary. Why don't we do traditional animation in America anymore? Because it isn't financially viable? How do you know when you haven't done it for serious in almost thirty years? How do you know when the last time you DID try, you intentionally then refused to market the films properly and released them in competition with surefire smash hits?

The heads at Disney and many other executive types at other film companies (obligatory David Zaslav reference, there you go, there's your obligatory boogeyman reference) aren't film fans. The days of people like Dino De Laurentiis who loved cinema being in charge are over. These people are venture capital vultures; they're Silicon Valley types obsessed with Now, Now, Now. Legacy and tradition, to these men, is just another thing to market and sell to folks. It means nothing to them except as another commodity (hence the live action remakes, but I don't want to get caught up in them every time I try to write something about the art form I love.)

Modern critiques of the film miss the forest for - not even the trees - the leaves and the branches. It's light on story. Okay? Lots of movies are, because cinema is a medium where narrative can often not be as important as what's literally happening on-screen, and what's happening beneath the surface, the subtext of the story. Most importantly, some critics engage with this film on a purely logical level, and refuse to engage with the emotional level. For many films, you can do this; many films work on both levels, though less than you'd think, especially as time marches on and cinema is overtaken by

T H E F I L M I N D U S T R Y [Bach's Toccata and Fugue's opening notes blare out]

But many films, especially in animation, work almost exclusively on the emotional dream logic, and no film more depends on this kind of lens and has such mastery within that framework than Snow White, to this day. The entire point of the film, the modus operandi, was to make clear to moviegoing audiences that a cartoon was capable of the same high drama as live-action. Nobody bought it, and were blown away when it changed the world. I would argue, to this day, however, the audience didn't actually get the point. Animation is treated as kids stuff, and it wasn't for lack of trying by Walt to change that. That was part of the point of Snow White - it's why the film is not just intensely happy but intensely scary, heavy, sad. It had to encompass the full spectrum of emotion, and that seems silly now, mostly because cinema has been so thoroughly influenced by Snow White, its influence is growing harder and harder to truly appreciate with each passing generation.

I would argue that, in many ways, animation failed to meet the promise of Snow White. In glimmers and bursts, films by Disney would match the emotional power of Snow White. Pinocchio was mostly up to the challenge - though the animation, even then, was noticeably worse. Fantasia is, I think, the only film that truly rose up to and beyond Snow White. The sheer emotional powerhouse of A Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria is one of the greatest sequences in, bluntly, cinema. And it flopped. Audiences didn't gel with it, and the film's timing in release couldn't have been worse, with certain events in world history resulting in parts of Europe that would've adored the film unable to see it. Because of the Nazis. (We'll get to the Nazi thing with Snow White, be patient.) Fantasia's failure rocked Walt and the onset of WWII forced him to shift into doing wartime propaganda in order to keep the lights on. He wanted Fantasia to be an active ongoing cultural project, where every year, it'd be re-released with new material. It still could've been, perhaps, after the war. But the free market spoke, so Walt just gave up on that dream, as he did many other dreams.

From there, it's no use comparing many of his later films to Snow White. They never did, and Walt knew it, and he hated it, and it killed his artistic spirit. Even when he tried, with his last true passion project, Sleeping Beauty, it flopped. Critics were lukewarm on it. Audiences didn't go see it. Now we see it as its own kind of animated triumph. It gave us Maleficent, one of the best characters ever made in animation. But that's now. At the time, the consensus was a bemused shrug. It was good - but it's not Snow White.

That refrain - it was good, but it's no Snow White - haunted Walt Disney across his career; no other film was ever quite good enough for the audience in comparison, and it drove him nuts. He saw people demanded Snow White, but whenever he made a film of a similar spirit, it wasn't ever good enough. Meanwhile, the films they made to keep the lights on while working on Sleeping Beauty were doing solid business and not getting needlessly nitpicked by bad faith criticism.

You can see his surrender reflected in the films post-Sleeping Beauty. He wasn't even really involved in the films anymore beyond a certain point. He got obsessed with the billionaire pipe dream of the Experimental Prototype City of Tomorrow, EPCOT, and it consumed him up until the lung cancer ended him. The narratives stopped demanding anything from the audience. They got all the dumb kiddy jokes they wanted, with none of the pathos and point. The darkness found in Snow White had become mere shadows by the time of Jungle Book.

(Revisiting this a day later)

You know, I talk like this? Less coherently and with more cussing, but these kind of tangents. You know? Not a good essayist; nor would I call myself one. I'm a rambler, and I rambled so hard just now I completely lost track of the point I was trying to make. I was going to gush about the film's deft mastery of tone. I mentioned it, but I didn't really get into it. How filmmakers that tried to make a film like Snow White focused so much on the darkness - a vital part of the experience, granted - that they forgot the joy and levity necessary to balance things. Or even the reverse; a preoccupation with joy and levity without the necessary darkness.

Don Bluth made a couple films which mastered this balance of tone, especially in his brief but potent collaboration with Steven Spielberg. The Secret of NIMH's levity is less saccharine than Snow White's, but he and his team displayed true mastery over the emotional pallet they chose to work within. It only gets really cheerful at the end, as Don so loved to do, in his belief that children can handle any kind of story as long as all ends happily. This mastery, thanks in large part (but not exclusively I must stress) to powers outside his control, was all but gone by the time of A Troll in Central Park. This is a film with all the saccharine tooth-rotting sweetness of Snow White with nary a dark tone in sight. And it tanks the narrative. Perfect for single-digit aged children, and nothing more than a strange curio, a case study to examine for adults. You can't have such an extreme sweet tone without its counterpart extremity.

A little phrase I'm coining, inspired by a line from Kingdom Hearts: the brighter the light in the narrative shines, the deeper and more profound the shadows must be, in reaction.

You can't have the Seven Dwarfs without the Queen, nor the Queen without the Seven Dwarfs.

Compare Troll in Central Park to a film that has the opposite problem - an intensity of darkness that doesn't allow light to gleam appropriately, especially in light of its surprisingly intense subject matter. A film explicitly stated to be following in the lineage of Grimm fairy tales and Walt Disney's early filmography, but perhaps learned the wrong lessons from. I actually still like this film quite a lot for what it tried to do, and maybe another time I'll write something more balanced about it. But this is a rant about tone, so, no punches pulled here:

Andrei Konchalovsky's Nutcracker in 3D is a film seemingly universally despised by what few people actually bothered to go see the damn thing. It's gained a notoriety almost entirely built off its concept - it's that Nutcracker film with the Nazi rats and a VERY unsubtle Holocaust allegory. Having actually seen the film, my views on it are more nuanced, but that's a rant for another time. I do not dislike the film's intended message, and the dark places the story goes are directions that, bluntly, family films haven't felt comfortable exploring in decades. Konchalovsky's mastery over the darkness his narrative calls for is exceptional. The Nazi rats are portrayed as bumbling, neurotic, but heartless. And New Yorkers for some reason. But the narrative does a poor job communicating the joy, the hope, the love, that enabled people to oppose the darkness of fascism, and keep hope in the face of evil. There is a single beautiful sequence where the main character Mary dances with snowflake spirits. It serves no plot purpose; it's just there to be beautiful (and to lay some lip service to the Tchaikovsky ballet). I say that affectionately, not as criticism. The film needed more scenes like this where the characters are reminded of the beauty of the world, of the magic in living that fascists would extinguish. There's a lovely melancholy little scene where Mary's Uncle Albert (played by Nathan Lane basically as a cartoon Albert Einstein) is confronted by her parents (played by Richard E. Grant and Andrei Konchalovsky's opera singer wife) who want him to stop filling Mary's mind with fantasy stories and to stop visiting her, so she can be prepared for "the real world". The song he sings here (another thing this film is notorious for, for some reason, the musical numbers) is Albert reminding Mary's father that he used to be a child too, that he had his own childlike wonder that he embodied in a pebble he kept on his person that was the most valuable thing to him in the world - until he lost it, and gradually, slowly but surely, he grew up, and the pebble was abandoned. Mary's father is in tears by the end, and it moves me too. Albert found his pebble, it turns out, and returns it to him. It's a lovely little scene - melancholy, but ultimately hopeful. The movie needed more scenes like this. But there are very few.

I neglected to mention up 'till now the pacing required for emotional stories like this. Emotional pacing. Snow White does this masterfully, and yet simply: for every dark scene with the Queen, there is a noticeably happy little scene immediately following it. At the end of the film, the tone hits its darkest depths. The Queen triumphs even in death; Snow White is seemingly dead. The Dwarfs mourn, even Grumpy who once loathed her (the real gut punch of the mourning sequence). And yet, in the end, her Prince has come, and a kiss that was likely intended as a parting kiss of affection miraculously saves her life. The Queen never considered that anyone could love Snow White, and indeed, love seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind at all times. Everyone cheers, everyone delights, the music is pure euphoria and relief. Snow White bids farewell to her dear friends, and rides off into the sunset with her Prince, away to his castle, seemingly nestled into the very clouds and lit in heavenly light. Her proverbial salvation heightened into the literal.

The darkness and the light in the narrative should respond in kind to each other. The more the heroes love and make merry, the more intimidating the darkness seems when it returns. And yet, the shadows inevitably give way to the light, even if just for a time, and when the light comes back, it shines even brighter than before. By the end, the terror and evil merely implied by the darkness has manifested itself and become all too real. Snow White is dead. And yet, even in her death, there is light yet to be found. The Christian allegory in Snow White seems obvious. She is resurrected by the Prince's love and taken to his heavenly palace nestled in the clouds. It's not very subtle once you notice it. But subtlety has no place in an emotional narrative. To hit the emotions, you gotta go big, grand, operatic even.

All that to say: The Nutcracker in 3D fails at properly balancing the emotional pallet, at the emotional pacing. The tone is reserved for the first half-hour, occasionally cheerful, but restrained by the reality of 1930s Vienna. Once the Rats enter the picture, the mood is overwhelmed by darkness - as it should be, when Nazis are involved. But the light of the narrative doesn't shine bright enough in response. There's some dumb comedy to lighten the mood, but it doesn't land. It only succeeds at pulling off a triumphant tone when the Rats are finally chased away. The celebratory sing there is quite good. Sir Tim Rice isn't a slouch. But there's too few scenes in-between the Rats' entrance into the picture and their exit where hope and light are allowed to show themselves. Konchalovsky was so caught up in accurately conveying the pervasive fear and terror of living under a totalitarian regime, he forgot to give proper time to the persistence of joy and hope that leads to said regime's downfall. He was so caught up in communicating the horror of the Holocaust in a way children could grasp, he neglected to show the hope and persistence in the belief in justice that allowed people to live through such awful times.

I of course must bring up, however, that Snow White was, ironically enough, adored by the Nazis, especially Hitler who considered it one of his favorite films, at least publicly. We'll never know if he actually loved the film or if he recognized the Germanic romanticization of the film itself lent itself unfortunately well to their ambitions of Germanic Aryan supremacy. I wonder if Walt knew his masterpiece was beloved by a monster such as Hitler. I am suddenly struck by the realization that emotional storytelling can be used BY evil, just as much as it can be used in opposition to it.

But that's a matter for me to privately contemplate on. I can plainly see I'm not able to tackle that subject yet. Truth be told, I feel like I barely managed the topic here and now.

My point being: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is a masterpiece for a reason. It may be hard for younger generations to grasp that, but I'm part of them too, and I got it. The old ways of storytelling aren't inherently worse or lesser than. They have their value even now; these stories just aren't allowed to be told and to succeed. They're consigned to a damned niche market, an inherently lesser than affair. I dunno, I think that stinks. Storytelling today is afraid to be emotionally open, largely in response to a traumatized miserable populace who has grown comfortably numb, and reject things that make them feel, even if it makes you unambiguously happy, because once you feel one thing, you tend to feel lots of other emotions too - darker emotions. I should know, I've been there many times. What a tragic state of affairs we're in today. We should build a society where emotions are as open in our art as they are in the audience. We shouldn't be numb. Numbness is next to death.

[mintys-musings]

anzu liker ??? omg do u mind dropping some of ur nsfw hcs ,,

anzu liker !! i dont mind at all :3 im glad theres so many of yall that like anzu ensemble stars out here. more love for the apricot girlie is lovely !

NSFW under cut~!

okay. here are my anzu nsfw hcs...

she's mostly a sub/bottom because she's usually in control of everything it's nice to just get pounded beyond any coherent thought (mindbreak girlie frfr.) BUT when she tops? when she gets to dom someone? she will put in the work

in those moments, she's a gentle femdom p much. looves to spoil those under her UNLESS they're being a brat. in which case she does the "That's not very nice~" and edging begins (followed by overstimulation)

whiny. esp if things aren't progressing fast enough

that said, she's not gonna outright verbalize her wants sometimes because she gets embarrassed by how horny she gets

incredibly down bad over text. so down bad. sends the most tasteful nudes at precise moments since she knows people's schedules

also all bark no bite over text. she's not an outright brat, but she is a tease. and if you confront her about it she turns into a flustered mess. so make her put her money where her mouth is 💚

knows a lot about kinks in theory, but not so much in practice due to lack of experience. into various dom/sub dynamics and will adjust depending on what you want

definitely has a size kink. well discussed on this blog. its practically canon tbh

has a breeding kink BUT would take either someone she trusts to be involved (trickstar, madara, undead, akatsuki, arashi) or her to be very horny to let anyone bust a nut inside

has a mild voice kink which is dangerous in her line of work

bit of an oral fixation. likes having something for her mouth to do- be it kissing, leaving hickeys, etc. etc. gives head like no other tbh

cockwarming enthusiast !!

while she likes the idea of being secretly teased in public, she would not let it happen in the slightest. honestly? can barely get horny during the day (if at all)

after hours though it's like a switch flips in her brain and she gets horny so quick

... if she had the week off, she'd be very into trying the idea of free use

her underwear is plain until she starts to have a sex life. then she starts buying cute lingerie. usually babydoll types. very fond of garterbelts

i cant imagine her being very needy after, but she is clingy. she's already the type to hug your arm while you're out. give her cuddles after sex please !!

even after being fucked senseless, she still tries to get up and get you both water and whatever else (please just relax anzu...)

erm yeah ! ^×^)/)

[observeowl]

Her Assistant | Chapter 19 - The Principal Decided On It

Summary: After losing her family, Natasha Romanoff builds her company from the ground up. During the rise of her company, she decided she needed an assistant, one that works in her office and her house. That's when she saw your resume. After working five years for her, how was it like working for her? Or more importantly, how things progress?

Series Masterlist

Natasha POV The bell rang, and Clayton started the ceremony. "You will never betray me and always be moderate. Let's swear to Saint George that we will maintain a relationship that benefits each other until the day we leave this school. I request that you become my fag, Natalie Rushman."

I was kneeling down on one knee and said. "I humbly accept." Clayton presented me with a pin that I'm to wear at all times in school so others know of my title. I pinned it on the left of my lapel before standing up again. We exchanged a few more words before I left the room and got attacked by a swamp of students congratulating me.

"You really got the dorm's pin!!" // "Congratulations!" // "That's wonderful, Rushman."

"T-Thank you." I laughed along with them, slightly overwhelmed by the attention.

"Heyyy!" I turned my head up towards the sound and was sure it was, Thor. "You got quite popular, Nat. I'm happy to see that even a gloomy lady like you was able to make friends." He shouted from the second floor. This guy... can never learn how to keep his mouth shut.

---

I relaxed in my chair and heaved a sigh of relief. I felt like an opera singer, my energy drained from entertaining people.

"You were able to get rid of Keller and reach the position you were aiming for. I think your plan is going well." Y/N said as she helped me hang my clothes. Indeed, with the pesky minion out of the way, it was easier to get into the inner circle.

"But the final goal is still far away. Fury's order is to find out why Derrick Arden and other students shut themselves up in this school and stopped contracting their families... however..."

"We have yet even to see the shadow of them. This is definitely suspicious." Y/N continued my sentence. I waved for her to come closer instead of standing so stiffly. It was fag time, and Y/N had finished the request that I was given, so we were in my dorm resting. Jones wasn't going to be coming back so quickly.

"But this place is bound by its rules and I can't even investigate normally! It's like being a prisoner!" I grumbled, this lacked the speed that I was excited about.

"Isn't that why you're trying to get closer to the ones who make the rules? In a much more peaceful way than usual, I would say." I nudged her shoulder playfully at the insult. "Sorry."

"Yeah well, I'm still just the fag of a prefect's fag. I can't participate in the 'Midnight Tea Party' organized by the principal. Anyway, I am finally able to get into the P4's circle. I'll try to find some information about Derrick." Surely this is where things start to look up.

"The person who probably has the best information about Derrick is the prefect of the dormitory he moved into. Violet Wolf Dormitory."

---

"VIOLET!" Greenhill screamed from the awkward position he was in, with his cricket bat on his belly and body bent in a U-shape.

"Until I'm finished drawing." Violet said with his usual absence of energy.

"But when is that?!" Greenhill desperately shouted. His limbs were trembling from the position he was maintaining. Even his gym body is struggling to keep up. With the situation with Maurice Keller over, I was currently at the Swan Gazebo hanging out with all of the prefect's fags. It's not every day that they come here to relax but at least once a week from what I've experienced.

"Every year, when we get close to 4th June, the students of Green House start getting restless." Redmond said as he was mocking Greenhill's fag for saying that it would be a good exercise and training.

"Hmph, it's the same for the Red House." He tried to defend himself.

"Every time we get close to 4th June, the student's grades get worse because they're anxious."

It seemed like I was the only one who didn't know what was going on. Noticing the look on my face, Harcourt tried explaining to me. "There's the dormitories' cricket tournament. It's our school's traditional tournament, it's been held for over a century."

"At least try to remember the school events." Bluer scolded once again. I didn't intend to stay long.

"It's a grand event that happens once a year. Even the President watches the boat parade of the winning dormitory." Harcourt said.

"The dormitories of this school have been very competitive. So, of course everyone gets tense around this time." Alex Milford, Greenhill's fag mentioned.

"I hate the students of the other dorms, I can't wait to crush them all!" Fred Grant, Violet's fag shouted excitedly. His energy contrasted with his prefect, who was still not drawing Greenhill. His drawing is amazing, truly, but Greenhill has been in his position for almost half an hour.

"I also dislike that lots of people come to the school." Violet said as he was shading something.

"I thought outsiders weren't allowed to enter?" I asked. The school was famous for maintaining its prestige and their visitors' enquiries were strict.

"There are two events to celebrate the eve and the end of the tournament. On these two days, the students are exceptionally allowed to invite their family and important acquaintances to the school's dining hall." Clayton kindly explained.

"A-are you finished?" Greenhill asked while stuck in his position.

"Hmm, not yet." Violet answered. I took a peek at his drawing. Violet had started another art piece. This time, he drew Redmond with girls surrounding him. Don't me wrong, his drawing is great. Being able to draw so quickly with such details is amazing, but shouldn't he actually be drawing Greenhill?

They began talking about their siblings. Harcourt has two older sisters, while Bluer has three older sisters and four younger sisters, the only boy in the household besides his father. The rest immediately took pity on him. "One sister alone is already annoying." Grant said as he shuddered at the thought of having more than one.

Moving on from one topic to another, they began discussing who would support who. Would they support the long-time reigning champion, Green House, or will they support the Red House, full of good-looking men and ladies? Blue House sadly always lands in the last position, being more academically inclined than athletically. Seriously, 90% of them were wearing glasses.

"The eve and the end events are made to cultivate the players' spirit towards the cricket tournament!!" Greenhill got up from his position and said enthusiastically.

"I said, don't move." Violet threw a piece of charcoal towards Greenhill.

In the end, he never drew the model. As an artist, he's really skilled though... What's with this weirdo? Normally I'd never want to have to deal with someone like him. But I have to talk and be friendly. "Violet, are you going to dance too?"

"I hate it. It makes my head spin."

"I see..." End of the talk

I'll have to change my strategy. It'll be a bit tough.

"I'm really looking forward to June 4th! But it's hard to fight against the other students when you're friends with them. Fighting against Violet House will be hard, since I have a friend there."

"Is that why you came last time?" Grant asked.

"Yes. His name is Derrick Arden."

Instantly, and I mean instantly, the mood changed. Violet dropped the charcoal he was using to draw. The chatty discussion from earlier stopped, and the rest of the prefects sat up a tad bit straighter.

"Did you say, Derrick?"

The moment I mentioned Derrick's name, the atmosphere between the P4 changed. Their eyes widened slightly as they looked at me.

"Derrick Arden, that's the governor's only son, isn't it?" Milford questioned. I nodded my head. "I'd never expect you to be acquainted with the governor's son. I heard he's quite rebellious, and his parents couldn't control him, so they sent him to this school."

As soon as I mentioned Derrick's name, the P4 were obviously startled. But the fags aren't concerned? Let's try and press this a little further. "Derrick wrote to me that he was in the Red House. So I was surprised to learn he had transferred into Purple House after he entered the school."

"That's because it took us a while to notice his true personality." Bluer said.

"He was my fag for a while... excelled in everything he did." Redmond said.

"Yes... he certainly was, but..." Greenhill hesitated.

"In any case, he was weird." Violet ended the conversation.

Weird? Neither the governor nor Fury said anything about it.

"I see... Purple House has many weirdos... I mean, students who excel at certain arts, after all. What was Derick's speciality?" I decided to ask. Learning more about his personality would help me in figuring out what he would do.

Bluer continued reading his book while saying. "Well, it's hard to say in detail, but most likely... memorising."

"Cricket." Greenhill said.

"Poetry." Redmond said.

"Embroidery." Violet said.

What? He excelled in all four houses?

"Anyway, the principal decided on moving him. There are no mistakes in the principal's commands. The principal's decisions are absolute!"

It may be a tradition and all, but even the prefects don't know the reason... I can tell by their behaviour. The P4 are hiding something! But if I ask more questions, they will suspect me. I'll pursue it no further.

---

After the break with the P4 and their fags, it was finally time to return to the school curriculum. I'm not sure if I prefer talking to the P4 or learning about things that I already know about, but I know I prefer staying in my own home.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Y/N for a long time. I wonder what she's doing.

After asking Jones about Derrick and the other students I was suspicious of, I realised they were all transfers to Purple House about half a year ago, and no one has heard of them since. It seems like Jones has more info than the P4. I should have asked him in the first place.

"Why do you care so much about the other dormitories?" Jones asked.

"Why don't you care about them?" I asked back.

"Well, the principal decided on it, you know." Even he is full of the principal.

Seeing more success with the students, I decided to ask around. Some said he was a fast runner, but others said he was an expert dancer. He even won prizes for his artworks and was famous for his manuscripts. I received different answers from different people. But all of them said he got transferred because of the principal's decision when I asked the reason why.

If he was doing so well, why did he disappear all of a sudden? Also, just because 'the principal decided on it', no one seems to question his change of dormitories. Aren't you with your friends today?

Your POV I was walking around with the Vice-Principal after a long day of work. If the principal was missing, the next in charge would be him, Johan Agares.

"Derrick Arden... you say?"

"Yes, I was just wondering, since he hasn't attended in quite some time." I asked in faux concern.

"You're quite attentive to students from another dorm."

"It doesn't matter what dorm they are from. All students are important." I decided to talk a bit about him before moving to ask why he was transferred to another dorm but he told me the same thing everyone else did. "Could he have stopped going to school due to the shock of having been relocated?"

Before he could reply, he slipped on the first step and rolled all the way down. "Mr Agares! Are you okay?" I rushed down the steps and helped him up. "Blood. I'll take you to the infirmary."

"No no it's alright." He rejected my offer and walked away with blood flowing down his face.

After light's out, students were meant to be in their dorms, but wardens like us are able to be in the library searching for books that we didn't have time to in the day. "Hey, Y/N-" I pulled Natasha closer and covered her mouth before another figure entered the library.

"My... what could it be at this hour?" I asked Bluer when he walked it with his torchlight. He was stunned before looking left and right seeing nobody in sight. "Are you looking for something?"

"No... excuse me Miss Y/L/N." Bluer said as he turned to leave the library.

"I'm sorry for being rough. It seems like you were tailed, you see." I let Natasha come out from her hiding spot behind the books. She waved it off before straightening her clothes.

"Sniffing around got me nowhere. No matter what I asked, they all just said 'The Principal decided on it'." Natasha told me with a huff.

"The staff were the same."

"Even there..." She grumbled. "We're getting nowhere like this. Since we're stuck, all that we can do is to use every means we have to come into direct contact with Derick!"

Seeing the evil smirk and her eyes, I knew she was up to something no good. Her track record has never been impressive.

"Let's go."

"But there would be punishment for walking around late at night, you know?"

"Only teachers can punish students, right? Miss Y/L/N."

Third POVNatasha led Y/N to the entrance of Violet House. The eerie dark colour accentuated by the night reminded her of the first time she was here.

"How do you mean to meet with Derrick? Students are not allowed into other dormitories. It'll be a big problem if you are caught sneaking in."

"Don't be ridiculous, if I can't find them, I'll draw them to me." Nat flicked the lighter and took some dried leaves from the floor before throwing them towards the dormitories to the best of her abilities. "Do you know of Weston College's 87th school rule, Miss Y/L/N?" Nat asked as she watched the flames rise and spread.

"In case of an alarm such as fire in the school or one of the dormitories, all students should rapidly seek refuge in the school gardens and have the prefects take a roll call." Y/N recited from her memory. "If this is found out, you will be dropping out for sure, Rushman. However, as the best of SHIELD, this is exactly what I expected."

"As Bluer said, it's important to memorise the school rules."

"They're coming." Y/N pulled Natasha away and helped her climb the trees as the students started rushing out of the burning building.

Cheslock (Violet's fag) was shouting, rushing everyone to get out of the building and move to safety. After a few seconds there was still no sight of Derrick and his friends. The burning was doing its damage on the building and there would hardly be any survivors if they were to be left behind.

Y/N and Nat waited anxiously to see if there were any stragglers behind that took longer to escape. Eventually, an explosion occurred in one of the rooms and Natasha clicked her tongue and told Y/N to save them and put out the fire.

As the rest of the P4 arrived at the scene, the roll call was just about done. Nat could hear that the fags told Violet everyone was present. Derrick wasn't inside the building?

Now that attendance has been taken, they moved their focus on putting out the fire. "Guys! Take the hose and put out the fire!" Y/n was seen pulling the hose from its place and passing it off to one of the students before turning it on and water was seen splashing out and it required more people to control the hose.

"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, the students hardly remember where the safety equipment are." Greenhill said when the fire had been put out.

Natasha POVDerrick and the rest have disappeared. The P4 are keeping their lips shut. The only means we have left is to contact the principal, but the only ones who can meet him at The Midnight Tea Party are the P4 and their fags. Maybe I should just have Clayton killed and take his place... no, no.

Suddenly I heard Jones talking to his friends about the Cricket Tournament, they were wondering if it would be canceled due to the arson. But of course, tradition is absolute, the tournament will proceed as usual.

"They say the Principal will be present too. So we shouldn't slack on the cheering either, even though Blue House doesn't stand much of a chance."

The Principal will be there?

"The Principal is busy, but they say he'll definitely attend the tournament on June 4th. And it seems every year he invites one player that did well in the tournament to The Midnight Tea Party." Jones said, I didn't even realised I said that out loud. "The Principal chooses the student who shows play befitting of a gentleman every year. But there are eleven people in a cricket team so it's hard to be your dorm's representative."

What he said was true, I'll have to compete with the upperclassmen to even get a spot on the team.

"Rushman!" I turned my head to see Clayton. "I'd like a word."

Following him to a quiet corner, he announced that I was selected to be part of the cricket team. "What?! Really? I mean... What an honor, but why me?"

"Our dorm is different from those muscleheads. In that, we specialise in strategical play. The brains and guts you showed in covering Maurice Cole's injustice will certainly be of use to the team... Is what the one who strongly recommended you told us."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Miss Y/L/N."

I ran as fast as my legs could take me. There were people in the hall surrounding Y/N but I'll just have to do it. "Miss Y/L/N! Thank you for recommending me as a player!" I said as I crashed into her.

"Because I think you will surely show us some wonderful play." Y/N said as she caught me. Using this as an opportunity, I hugged her tighter. With this case going on, I haven't been able to show her the love she deserves. "I'll see you later tonight." She whispered next to my ears inconspicuously.

---

3rd June.

One day before the tournament begins. The college held a ball for the students and their parents. Everyone had a great time drinking and snacking as they waited for the ceremony to begin. Everyone except me.

I have no idea who started this tradition. Mr Agares would announce the House Colour, and the players were required to wear their costume and parade out.

Starting with the Greenlion House. They never let any of the other dorms overtake them in overwhelming physical ability or team effort. The ground shook as they stormed their feet to announce their appearance before the door opened for them, wearing medieval armour and holding torches.

Moving onto Scarlet Fox House. The second place dorm that was on Green House heels until the end last year with their charming and beautiful play. The door flew open and flower petals scattered through the sky. They wore a red robe like some sort of a poet and held the lighted candles. I mean, what's with their feathers on their hats. Everyone's eyes turn into heart shape.

Suddenly, the lights went off before a match was striked. The Violet Wolf House. They confuse their opponents with their unforeseeable tricky play. Clearly so, they didn't even use the door to enter, hiding amongst the other guests. The black robe made them seem like they were trying to resurrect the devil.

Lastly, Sapphire Owl House. Their physical ability aren't as good, but they aim for an opening to win with their game making strategies. This ridiculous outfit that I'm wearing. What is this? Harry Potter? Holding an owl on each of our arms like some kind of a scholar. Even the guest's reaction was the most tamed.

The P4 gathered at the center big cup (kinda like the Goblet of Fire). Each house was holding a flame. "Light the flame of St. George!" Mr Agares shouted.

"All of us players vow to keep to the tradition of Weston College and fight fair and square until the end." The flame grew bigger and the crowd cheered, raising their glass in celebration.

"And with this, I declare... The 2023 school year's dormitory Cricket Tournament is open!!" The claps were heard again with whistling this time as people were starting to get more comfortable with the atmosphere. "I'm sure there will be some fierce competition tomorrow. So please enjoy tonight's festivities till your hearts' content." He stepped off the podium but as he descended the stairs, he fell down and several went forward to help.

The Houses reverted to their characteristics. The Red House mingled with the guests, easily holding conversations with those they met for the first time. While Green House was trying to get as much protein as they possibly can before the start of the tournament. Blue House tried to head back to their dorm to finalise their strategies but was eventually stopped by Bluer's seven sisters surrounding him.

From amongst the guests, I heard there was only one time in history where the Blue House won. So much for trying to be the student befitting of a gentleman. This was going to be an uphill battle.

"I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting. We will now decide the competition roster by drawing lots." Mr Agares returned to the podium to gain the attention of the guests.

The opponents were decided 'fairly' by drawing lots. But our opponent has already been 'decided'. 

"Well then, will the drawers, the House Masters come forward!" Y/N and the rest of them stepped forward with each of their hands in the bowl.

The pre-festivities? Don't be ridiculous. The games have already begun. I don't believe in miracles, that's why I'll snatch my victory by force!!

[lemon-wedges]

Heey just wanted to tell you that I adore your art, especially the way you draw Barok. You humanised him in a way I've never seen an artist do. All your characters, but especially him, look like real, soft, approachable people. I can almost see their chests expanding, I can imagine them laughing and breathing, I can tell how in love your ships are, which is very special and very rare

Your art makes me extremely emotional

(also where did you study, what books did u read, how long did it take you to learn to draw like that??)

AH thank you for the sweet ask! it really made my day to hear this TTuTT

As for your other asks, ill put them undercut with some photos and links to stuff!!

I've been drawing for about ahhhh 16 years( 8 of which are actually like serious school stuff than just a hobby) but tbh its only really been in the last 3 where i feel like ive been making actual progress in improving my stuff. but thats my personal path in art and its always gonna be different for you or anyone else.

anyways 3 years ago i made some changes to my drawing habits and study methods that were like. real specific to where i wanted my art to go (cleaner lines, better foundations, gesture, etc etc). I worked on thing one at a time tho!! it can get overwhelming real quick if youre not careful. So the stuff im gonna give you is geared towards....well, me? both in content im searching for and just the classes that resonate how i like learning

OK BOOKS:

CLEANER LINES. I use to have a habit of making like EXTREMELY sketchy and unconfident lines. This is a landscape book that i literally just copied every single thumbnail. Helped me get into the habit of both using only a few strokes to get an idea across and breaking down complicated subjects into shapes

ANATOMY. Morpho series. Its not a how-to-book tho its just a compilation of an artists break downs. This one is my fav tho. And helped a lot when i was struggling to understand like ALL BODY PARTS

CLOTHING. This is probably my fav clothing book. Very short and published in the 1940s. Its helpful specifically to ME cause its clothing is closer to TGAA outfits(mens) than more modern books LOL

And now CLASSES. I do actually have an art degree from a university and let me tell you. I was left SEVERELY lacking any skills i needed to go into the industry I was interested in 👍 (not cause of the professors but cause the school itself was actively killing its art department :p) So i was kinda just left looking into online stuff on my own (AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE!!!! MY BELOVED AFFORABLE CLASSES )

NEW MASTERS ACADEMY. Its a subscription-have access to all the videos for a month to a year- kind of thing. cheapest is about $40 a month. REALLY REALLY helped my anatomy and foundations. Steve Huston: Good for entire step by step anatomy break downs. Micheal Mattesi & Karl Gnass: Gesture. I've watched a handful of other videos but these instructors were the most helpful to me

DRAWING AMERICA. A lot more pricey. Around $100-$300. but youre basically paying to own the recorded classes and keep them forever. I've only really taken Will Westons classes cause he focuses on BGS and props. But he also has some nice composition stuff thrown in there too.

(I've taken a LOT of online courses and the thing about a majority of them is that they arent really taught by professors or teachers so they tend to be more like a giant Tip video than an actual lesson plan. And if u haven't taken an art class before the difference is HUGE)

and i think thats it? i guess if theres anything else i can give u its this tip:

you mentioned my art is humanizing. Thats a comment ive heard a few times and i guess its odd to say but i dont really know what youre seeing? Like i understand the "ships in love" but cause i did go out of my way to draw sappy love faces 10 bajillion times until i was satisfied. But alive? hmmmmmm like THINK i might know what you may be responding to. Its a combo of the gesture and my effort in trying not to loose the energy of the original sketch when i go to clean it up. And what ive figured out is this. Youre not outlining or tracing your under sketch youre REDRAWING it .

i put the under sketch and clean up next to each other so hopefully this makes sense but like. when i do an under sketch im only really focused on building the figure. When u build a figure youre drawing out bigger shapes and breaking them down into smaller and smaller ones. Lines feel like they have more energy at this stage because the circles and cylinders are fully drawn out, making them have a continuous momentum. So then when it comes to the clean up stage. im not looking to trace the exact lines i drew out (if u notice my final isnt a 1 to 1 copy of the og) im trying to follow the flow of the original lines. thats why youll see lines go thru the figure sometimes, its me trying to keep the energy in that line even if its not suppose to be very long.

idk if this makes any sense at all.....and maybe i should have recorded me actually drawing this out but [shrug emoji] i could do it later if anyone is interesting in wtf is happening here. CAUSE I SWEAR ever since i started cleaning my sketches like this i started to get those comments. but also i could be wrong too.....then i REALLY dont know what im doing ahahahah

Anyways, i hope something in here ends up helping you anon!!! GOOD LUCK ARTING I BELIEVE IN YOU :O