#and not for lack of trying its a work in progress if u will but. god.

[softredrobin]

not plot related (well.........) but here's lumen in her nice (first date!) outfit. i wonder who said date is with..................... (rambles in the tags as always!)

[xoxochb]

hey girlieee!! could you please do very pissed, angry and jealous Percy smut??? asking for a friend (i’m not 😇

ooooohhh anon u ate with this one

cw: rough ass sex, overstimulation, fingering, unprotected piv, orgasm denial (once), swearing

——— ౨ৎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

you can’t breathe, you can’t think, you can’t move, you can’t do absolute jack shit like this.

your hair is disarrayed around you, your bare chest rising and falling at an abnormally rapid rate, the bedsheets soaked, tears streaming down your cheeks, clothes scattered throughout the cabin, and your poor boyfriend’s got his back scratched up, little trickles of blood falling from your nails.

percy continuously babbles about what you believe to be nonsense. bullshit like ‘you’re mine’ and ‘that other boy wouldn’t treat you as good as me’ or ‘this pussy’s only mine, isn’t it?’

you don’t dare disagree with him, not now, not when he’s like this. he’s upset you had spent the morning teaching a new camper archery instead of spending it with him doing whatever gods forsaken shit he wanted to do. angrily, you were taken to cabin three to get the life fucked out of you!

his fingers works inside of you mercilessly, pushed into a unhealthy spot in your body, while his thumb runs over your throbbing clit. and poor you, you’re an utter wreck, writhing and crying underneath him.

“please, I- I-” searching for the alphabet… “‘m all- all yours.”

“yeah?” percy cocks his head to the side and kisses your sternum. “all mine?”

you nod rapidly, with one hand pulling his hair harshly. he doesn’t like the lack of a verbal response.

“use your words, sweet girl, c’mon.”

“yes,” you pant. “all yours.”

he kisses your skin again. though when you feel your climax creeping upon you his finger slides out, letting an embarrassing whine slip past your lips.

“what- I- fuck you.”

“I’m doin’ jus’ that, pretty girl.”

you watch disoriented-ly as percy undresses himself. you’re in for the longest night of your life.

“perce, please.” ah, how you missed coherent sentences.

“I’m hurryin’, angel. gotta have patience.”

you close your eyes and wait. until finally, his cock urgently and without warning slides between your folds. asshole, you’ll get him back for that sometime. his name stick to your tongue like a leech to skin, it’s currently the only thing you can seem to say. or think. or feel.

you presume this is what he’s trying to do though so you let it happen.

your legs burn. in fact, your whole body burns. it’s like you’ve got a sadist for a boyfriend, because you know he won’t give you mercy, especially since your morning hadn’t been spent with him but with some other jackass.

you practically gag on your tears, strands of hair sticking over your face, and your moans growing progressively louder with each harsher thrust.

he’s probably trying to kill you.

you know you’re dripping by now, actually not even, pouring. his cock is filling you to the utter brim, leaving no room for the white-hot pleasure to roam but the sheets beneath you.

the world spins at a rapid pace, every time you open your eyes stars fill your line of vision, and you can barely feel yourself even existing. you call this overstimulation at its finest.

you know now, he was not lying about fucking all the life o it of you completely.

[nerdy-novelist017]

omg i love ur writing sm✨🩷💋

do u think u could write sumthin like benny coming home to finding u snuggled up on the couch in one of his huge shirts?????

Thank you for this super sweet request, Anon! Sorry I've been taking forever to get around to the requests, but I'm trying to get back into the routine of working on them a little bit every day. Hope you enjoy!

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 1.1k+

T-Shirts (Benny Cross x Shy! Reader)

Benny cursed under his breath as he stumbled over the threshold of the front door. He’d been out with the Vandals, not an actual meeting, just a night out with a few of the main members. He’d invited you as he always did, but you declined. You had told him that you wanted to have some alone time after a long day at work. He understood – girls needed their ‘me time’ to pamper themselves or whatever, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to miss you. You were sometimes all consuming to him, his thoughts almost always ran back to you. Johnny and the boys could see it, anyone that really knew Benny (few as they were) knew he was completely infatuated with you. He was drunk off your touch, your voice, your smile. How could he be separated from you for long? So as the night progressed and he accepted more whiskeys being slid in his direction, his thoughts of you became more hazy, more melancholic and finally Johnny took pity on him and told him to go home. 

The slight buzz from the beers he had early did not mix well with the lack of lights. Usually, you left on the front porch light for him when you knew he would be out late and you were going to bed early. But it wasn’t the case tonight he realized as all the lights in the main level of your house were turned off. As he tossed his bike keys onto the entryway table and flipped on a light, he wondered briefly in his intoxicated mind if you were upset with him and this was your passive aggressive way of punishing him for staying out late, but that theory quickly diminished when he caught sight of the couch. At first glance, it looked like just a pile of throw blankets, but he was convinced he could spot your familiar form no matter how much light there was in the room. 

He slipped out of his boots and jacket, standing there for a moment longer in appreciation. A lovestruck smile overtook his face at the view of you curled into your side, that yellow blanket with white flowers (one you had begged him to buy when you first moved in together, stating that it was the perfect piece to pull the room together. He honestly couldn’t have cared less about the living room or its decor, but the smile on your face when he put it in the shopping cart made it suddenly the most important detail.) pulled over your body, a forgotten book laying face down on your chest – a clear indication that you had once again fallen asleep while reading. Your mouth slightly agape, your features looked so soft and girlish that it took Benny’s breath away knowing you were his. Even though he saw some incredible sunrises, sunsets and starry nights when he went riding, you were without a doubt the most beautiful sight he got to come home to. 

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he crossed the room, stooping to trace a hand across your face, brushing the tousled hair from your eyes. With his other hand, he looped his fingers through the spine of your novel, making sure to save your page mark as he placed it on the coffee table. His left hand moved beneath your knees and his right supported your back as he effortlessly lifted you into his embrace. That’s when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, the white material clearly oversized on your small figure. He didn’t know a simple white t-shirt had the ability to be sexy, but clearly he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was because you had the talent to make just about anything look painfully arousing on you. And nothing at all. And to make matters even harder for Benny, he knew it wasn't your intention when you put on his shirt to look sexy, you probably weren’t even aware of the effects of your body in that damn oversized t-shirt and the way it clung to your chest as he lifted you, nor the way it molded around your hips. You were certainly not aware of the sudden twitch in his pants because of the way the garment just seemed to make you look even more of the little bunny that stole his heart. 

“Benny?” your muffled, half asleep voice hit his ears like the sweetest melody as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Stealin’ my clothes, Bunny?” he teased and you sunk further into his embrace, not quite awake enough to catch his playfulness. He carried you up to your bedroom, using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He placed you gently on your side of the bed and almost laughed as you tugged him back down to you for a messy kiss. 

“I like the way it smells like you,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, the action pulling on Benny’s heartstrings. 

“You may have to keep it. Looks better on you,” he smiled as he stepped back to change into something more comfortable. 

“Whatever you say, Cross.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your words slurring together. “I tried waitin’ up for you. Did ‘ya have a good time?”

“Go back to sleep, Bunny,” he coaxed gently, smiling as your blinks were growing longer by the second. That was always something you wanted to do: you liked to lay in bed and talk about your days if they happened to be spent apart. You encouraged him to talk more than he’s ever talked in his life. Sometimes he felt as though your chattiness was rubbing off on him, but you never interrupted nor discouraged him from expressing his thoughts. He loved you more for that. “There’s plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow.”

“M’kay, come lay with me?” you asked and Benny scoffed because was that even a request you needed to make? He was drawn to you like a moth to flame, he couldn’t resist having a hand on you while he slept. It was like some instinctual urge projecting him to keep you near, to keep you safe, even while he was floating in the realm of sleep. 

He shook his head as you muttered a final incoherent sentence into the side of your pillow, eyes falling shut again. He crawled into bed behind you, slipping his hand around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. A soft, content sigh escaped you, and Benny looped his hand into yours, pulling it up to his lips in a soft kiss as he whispered “I love you, Bunny.”

-Tag List-

@imusicaddict  @elizabeth916  @jaiuneamesolitaiire  @dudii4love @ironmooncat  @beebeechaos  @astrogrande  @pearlparty  @themorriganisamonster  @sillylittlethrowaway  @ughdontbeboring  @penwieldingdreamer  @charmingballoon  @eugene-emt-roe  @sunnbib @semperamans  @groovyangelkisses  @killerqueenfan @cynic-spirit  @pomtherine  @tranquilty  @m00npjm  @twisteduniverse5  @justsomewritingblog  @nhlfs  @thepassionatereader  @rebecca-hvnstn  @nethanybear @dreamlandcreations  @buckysteveloki-me  @simsiddy  @zablife  @sansaorgana  @autumnleaves1991-blog  @butler-trouble @lindszeppelin

 @wavyjassy @real-lana-del-rey   @ilovehyperfixating  @xcallmetaniax  @lovenewfandoms   

@youngestxhearts . @abaker74  @ateliefloresdaprimavera  @thefallofthedamned

@hottpinkpenguinreads @nctma15   @vendylewin   @capswife  @alexa4040   @sweetestrose569   @18lkpeters  @thedreamingfish99   @mrsalwayswrite 

[winters-on-the-wing]

Oh what you said responding to the ask about transphobia/bigotry I've been looking for the right way to describe it: hard to romanticize! Thats like the foundation of this fandom it seems. Everything is whitewashed and stripped down to its bare bones to be the most relatable and palatable shit! Complexity for this fandom is babying regulus and feeling bad because his brother (rightfully so) left home. Like cmon are we not capable of being deeper than that. We base everything on the most bland tropes like brother's best friend and grump x sunshine! Truly moving and deep literature explores people in 3d not the 2d shells of people that can be described in singular words/attributes that bastardize them and make them walking caricatures of people (eg; Marlene = lesbian, Mary = pretty, James = sunshine, remus = wolf, and so on) the best art isn't easily palatable! The movies that leave you feeling ill or uncomfortable (in the good way) for lack of a better word are usually some of the best films. I feel like even aside from the racism, sexism and other problems of that sort, this fandom just lacks depth? We gave ourselves full creative power over these characters and bastardized them and it makes me so sad. There are so many smart and deep people in this fandom and I wish their analysis and ideas about the fabdom were he more popular ones instead of the ones that are easy to romanticize. Let's see conflict, not everyone has to be friends, people can be complex and not completely bad or good. Make them have complicated relationships outside of ships. What are the odds of about 13 people (the most popular characters) ALL finding their soul mates in highschool??? Like u can have sm fun exploring these characters but noooooooo. Ok sry for rambling, I'm a yapper. I'll stfu now

no. don’t stfu. never stfu.

you are absolutely right and you really boiled down something i’ve always been frustrated with.

i’m an actor. it’s my JOB to take characters from text, to see words on paper, usually ONLY dialogue and stage directions, and create a person, a fully fleshed person with wants and goals and fears and a soul. it’s my job to use the clues that the canon text provides and make the character pop out of the page, to make them compelling, to make them HUMAN.

if it’s not human, who the fuck cares? i know i sure dont.

i don’t want to read about plastic robots as they go through all the tired, stale tropes. grumpy x sunshine, enemies to lovers, best friends brother. it’s all the same. it’s a formula. it’s spoon feeding. i’m not trying to hate on people who enjoy it but i just can’t imagine being satisfied with that. the barest touch of the surface level when there’s so much if you go deeper. so much more HUMANITY. so much more meaning.

i need grit. i need people with palpable flaws, people who don’t always get what they want falling into their laps when they want it, people who are IN THE WRONG. people who think bad things and do bad things and regret it, people who do bad things and don’t regret it. people who exist messily. people who make me uncomfortable to read about because they’re so like me and i have to face the fact that i’m not perfect.

i don’t want a perfect romanticized story where the little white boy gets rescued by the big muscular casanova. i don’t want a robotic generated formula where the perfectly placed lesbian couple get just enough sentences to be seen so that the author can feel progressive and inclusive and then the lesbians get shoved off and forgotten about forever.

what happened to authenticity? what happened to bringing a piece of your soul to the art you create?

again i’m not trying to tell people how to enjoy fandom. do what you want.

it just personally saddens me how hard it is to find work with that human spark in it. the spark of curiosity, of intrigue, of going deeper than the bare surface level. i love art that makes me think. why does nobody THINK while creating anymore? sometimes i just feel so alone in this, surrounded by plastic when i want to read and write and engage with work that was written with a beating heart so palpable that it can be heard between every word.

i wish fanfics and headcanons and concepts that were created with thought were more popular than they are, instead of the same bland thing being shoved down my throat every second of the day. i constantly get hated on in this fandom for thinking differently than everyone else, but why is individuality an enemy? im starting to think that i get hated on in this fandom for THINKING, period.

does that make sense?

maybe i’m pretentious. it’s highly likely i’m pretentious.

[drdemonprince]

doctor demon prince im in my 5th year of undergrad suffering from functional freeze and Cant Write Papers disease (subtype where i eventually write it 7 months later and its really good for how rushed it is). ive also been doing unmasking work and trying to make progress w my nervous system and my relationships, i still have a long way to go . im going to graduate eventually (who fucking knows when) but with a pretty shit gpa.

Anyway my question is why the fuck do i keep wanting to get a masters degree when i know this setting sucks real bad for me. i love 2 learn but either dont have a handle on my adhd/autistic workflow yet or simply dont have the combination of traits it takes to succeed in academia. and i have student loans. i probably wont be accepted to any masters programs anyway but i dont know what else to do !!!!!!!!!!! 🙃 seeing as this is the transgender autistic grad student website maybe u or some of ur followers have advice for me..... 🫶 ok thank u byeee

I'm sorry to have to say this, but why do you want to go to graduate school? It will drive you deeply into debt, cause you a huge amount of stress, subject you to a wildly inaccessible environment where student neurodivergences are often unfairly cast as signs of laziness and lack of academic potential, and, in a majority of fields, it doesn't lead to improved career prospects (typically, the equivalent amount of time spent working in your chosen profession will get you just as far, if not farther, than a graduate degree).

I don't recommend graduate school to almost anyone. Graduate school was a stigmatizing, exhausting, abusive, exploitative, traumatizing experience for me that left me profoundly socially isolated and physically sick, and trained me in an increasingly irrelevant and scientifically unsound field that basically does nothing but regurgitate neoliberal truisms back to the elites that already believe in them.

Some of the faults I've just listed don't apply to *every* academic field in the world -- but it does apply to most of them!

I think it's important for people to know that Master's degree programs are, by and large, created as a revenue source for universities. Undergraduate enrollment has hit a wall -- there's only so many more people who can go to college, in a world where college has become increasingly obligatory, college pays off professionally far less than it used to, and in times of low unemployment there's very little reason to go to school -- and so the possibility of growing undergraduate enrollment has become more and more thin. This means universities have been unable to turn growing profits for years. And that's what matters to them -- profits.

Left without the revenue source of more college students' tuitions, universities have turned toward courting repeat customers -- duping college graduates who are unhappy with their post-graduate career prospects by investing in even more school. In most Master's degree programs, there are very high fees, very limited financial aid, and very very limited mentorship (compared to, say PhD programs, where shepherding you through the program is at least an advisor's duty).

I've worked in higher ed administration for years now and I've seen how disposable Master's degree students are taken to be -- they're paying for a pricey credential and they get very little out of it, in the end -- in most programs, and most contexts. When we need to fill a budget gap, we create a new Master's program -- without regard for whether it is necessary, and without ever being able to prove it will aid our graduates in getting jobs, or even that the degree will fill a necessary niche.

You can feel free to write back to me if yours is a field where a master's degree is necessary or yields positive career outcomes for a great many people (social work and athletic training come to mind). But even still, I don't think you should subject yourself to a completely inaccessible environment that you are already struggling in and taking on more debt to do so. You deserve better than that. And 99% of graduate programs will not do right by you.

If you'd like to read more about just how exploitative graduate programs generally are, and why, I recommend Karen Kelsky's book The Professor is In, or her blog of the same name:

[siyooungi]

HAII i love ur works sm THEYRE HONESTLY WELL WRITTEN. NO THWYRE A MASTERPIECE i always smiliny n shi everytime i read em🤭

i act have a request!! can you please write a idol!huh yunjin x yn. theyve been in a relationship for almost a year. ANDD yn is a shy person,she rarely talk cause shes insecure w her voice and the way she pronounce stuff(she has lisp? she can’t properly pronounce the letter S” so means yunjin rarely heard her voice.

yunjin did try to convince her multiple time that yn voice is the most beautiful sound in this world,its like a lullaby to yunjin.

THEN on their first anniversary,yn decided to suprise yunjin. yunjin woke up to a singing vd by yn HSJSHSHS OMG the vd is like this https://youtu.be/V-1vBrlD0Bc (lets pretend thats yn???!3!3!3)) YEAH so maybe you can come up w rhe ending cause i act dont have any idea for that hehe. THATS ALL FROM ME THANK YOU SO MUCH MY BRO ILOVE U SM (you dont have to do the request if youre busy<3 it just at thought from my brain hehe)

A/N: Awww, thank you so much!! That really means a lot. Although the video was unavailable, I can only imagine how amazing it sounded. I really hope you like this then!!

Pairing: Yunjin x Fem!Reader

Idol: Huh Yunjin (Le Sserafim)

Warning(s): None!

Yunjin is someone you’d consider your greatest supporter and hype-woman, as there was not a single day that passed where she wasn’t treating you like you were a prized possession. She loved everything about you, everything, from all of your little mannerisms to the beauty you possessed. On top of that, she made you the happiest girl in the world. Some might even consider her the ideal lover, a role that suits her entirely.

You, however, despite all of the never-ending praise and love she showered you with, were burdened by a deep insecurity that prevented you from fully expressing yourself. You dealt with a lisp, which made it difficult for you to pronounce the letter 's,' becoming a source of self-doubt and unease.

Yunjin, being the loving and supportive girlfriend that she was, had repeatedly reassured you that your voice was a treasure, a melody that resonated deeply within her heart. She cherished every hum and shake of the head that you used as substitutes for words. Hell, she even got excited when you spoke a few words. It was all she would typically get when you spoke to her. Despite Yunjin’s best efforts, you remained hesitant and continued to limit your speech, unable to believe in your own voice's beauty.

As your first anniversary approached, you did your best to overcome your fear and surprise Yunjin with something you’d hope she’d feel proud of. Considering you don’t speak often, you figured the least you could do was use your voice for your anniversary. Although she adapted to your lack of vocalness, that didn’t mean she didn’t want it. She’d made it clear every time she tried to evoke more words out of you. Whilst you were more quiet, you expressed yourself through actions. That was something she was always grateful for.

On the day right before your anniversary, while Yunjin was away at practice and you had the place to yourself, you mustered up all your courage to do what you had been planning for awhile.

With trembling hands, you composed yourself and positioned your phone before hitting the record button. Taking a deep breath, you began to sing.

The sweet, tender sound that escaped your lips filled the room. Your voice carried a vulnerability that mirrored your own insecurities, yet it was also infused with a profound love that only Yunjin could truly understand.

When you felt that you sang enough and brought the song to an end, you stopped the recording. It wasn’t necessarily long, but it was more than enough. Well, at least that’s what you hoped.

Feeling satisfied with the progress you made, you locked your phone with a smile. You would send this to Yunjin when she headed off to sleep. She was going to stay the night with her members and drive back to you on the day of your anniversary.

Fortunately, that day arrived rather quickly. You were still asleep by the time Yunjin had awoken. She wanted to wake up early so she could get a gift for you and then head your way, hopefully arriving before you woke up.

Yunjin’s alarm went off, waking her up and earning a groan in response. She picked up her phone to look at the time, squinting her eyes as they attempted to adjust to the brightness of her screen. As soon as her eyes were used to it, she did just that and while doing so, she noticed a message in her notification center. Wondering who could’ve possibly texted her while she was asleep, she unlocked her phone and checked.

It was from you, morphing her confusion into exhilaration. She clicked on the message and saw that it was an attachment, returning her puzzled expression as she sat up straighter and tapped on the video.

The sound of your voice filled the space of her room, bouncing off the walls and gracefully entering her ears. The latter couldn’t help the emotions that washed over her at that moment.

Yunjin's eyes welled up with tears as she listened, captivated by the beauty that resonated within every note. Your voice washed over Yunjin like a gentle wave, drowning out any doubts or insecurities. In that moment, she realized that your voice was not just a lullaby to her, but a symphony of love and vulnerability that transcended any imperfections.

The video eventually came to an end, causing her to quickly wipe her tears away and jump out of bed, forgetting to respond. She rushed to get ready, nearly tripping over her pants as she hopped on one leg to pull them up.

She was ready in record time, putting her phone in her pocket and grabbing her bag. She quickly double checked the bag for the necklace she bought you before closing it and running outside. Her manager knew that she was planning on getting you some flowers, so they already had the car ready by the time she made it outside.

Yunjin hastily got into the car and closed the door. Sensing the younger girl’s urgency, they sped off and headed to a local flower store. As fast as she entered the vehicle, she exited just as swift.

She searched the shop for your favorite flowers and and grabbed them as soon as she spotted them. Not wasting any time, she paid the owner and sent a thankful smile their way before rushing back out.

It didn’t take long before she arrived to your place. Thanking her manager as she got out, she made her way to your front door, knowing you’d still be asleep. She had the spare key to get inside, anyways.

Once inside, Yunjin took the small jewelry box containing your necklace and put it in her pocket, as well as placing the flowers on the counter. Yunjin tiptoed through the hallway, careful not to make a sound. She gently pushed open your door, revealing a scene that melted her heart. There, lying peacefully under the covers was your sleeping figure.

A tender smile graced Yunjin's lips as she observed her sleeping beauty. She couldn't help but feel a rush of overwhelming love and admiration. Kneeling beside the bed, Yunjin reached out to caress your hair, her fingertips gliding through the strands with utmost care.

As if sensing Yunjin’s presence, you stirred, slowly awakening from your blissful slumber. Your eyes fluttered open, and a tired but content smile adorned your face. Seeing Yunjin before you brought a spark of joy to your eyes.

"Hey," You murmured, your voice filled with warmth and love.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Yunjin whispered softly, her voice carrying a gentle tenderness. "Happy anniversary, my love."

Your smile widened as you stretched lazily, reaching out to pull Yunjin closer. She intertwined her fingers with yours, putting your hand on the pillow and leaning in for a soft kiss.

"I am really lucky to have you," You murmured, your voice laced with sincerity. "Thank you for being in my life."

Yunjin stayed close and she looked you deeply in the eyes, smiling fondly. "No, thank you for making every day brighter, for being the love of my life." Her voice was filled with a deep affection that resonated within their shared space.

“And thank you for allowing me to hear that beautiful voice of yours. Best thing to wake up to.” You felt your flush from realization. You completely forgot you sent her that video of you singing before you went to sleep.

“Ah..”

“Well, second best thing to wake up to. You’re first.” Yunjin spoke as she used her free hand to caress your cheek. The reason behind your flushed face was no longer from embarrassment, but instead from your girlfriend’s words.

“Just come in the bed..” You mumbled, patting the space beside you. If she wasn’t within such close proximity, she wouldn’t have heard you. Smiling, she did just that and laid on her back, turning her head in your direction. While you were beneath the covers, she was on above them, considering she was already dressed for the day.

You observed as she got comfortable before inching closer, wanting to be as close as possible, evoking a chuckle out of the raven haired girl. She happily embraced you, allowing you to rest your head on her chest.

“Do you want your gift?” Yunjin asked quietly, playing with your hair and looking up at the ceiling as she waited for your response. You hummed, not wanting to get up.

“Not at the moment. I just want to cuddle for awhile.”

Pleased with your answer, she planted a kiss on your forehead before resting her head on yours. Your breathing synced up with hers and you closed your eyes, feeling a wave of drowsiness wash over you again. She knew it wouldn’t take long for you to fall back asleep, so she closed her eyes as well. You both would be able to further enjoy your anniversary when you woke up.

A/N: Thank you for the request, and love you too!!! <33

[002yb]

I cried during your whole reply to the late ask. But please consider: Dick can't stand to look at Jaybin bc he feels too guilty and sad and he still thinks its his fault. And little jaybin is sad bc nothing has changed Dick still haces him no matter how much he loves him and Jason goes full mother on him bc a) he gets it, those are his feelings b) its a kid and Jason cant stand to look at a kid sad and c) if no one is looking out for him he might as well do. Damian is very !!!! Bc his position as jasons baby is in danger but also thats Jason as a *baby*. And Jason is just mothering two kids and Dick is taken out at the knees bc Jasons so perfect and protective and omG he wants to cry everytime he sees them. (Bruce is crying ln the corner and staring holes onto them) (Jason confronts Dick about making Jaybin sad and Dick cries)

Im so sorry this is so long but i got thoughts that i wanted to share bc your posts always make me happy<33 hope youre doing good and take it slow and one step at a time<3 love u<3

The angst potential from this angle of the double-Jay!AU, oh dear. It hurts in a different way from this post. But yes, let's explore:

Where Jaybin is so excited to see what's become of the future. He's eager to see how his small family is doing and if it's grown, what all Batman & Robin have achieved - what Jason has accomplished. More than anything, he wants to know that all their efforts have made a difference for Gotham.

Needless to say, Jaybin is left...unmoored, for lack of better words.

Because everything is wrong.

Bruce won't look at him. Dick still avoids him. Gotham is still fucked up. And just - Jaybin is welcome in the mansion, but it doesn't take a detective to realize that future Jason is estranged because everyone hates him, too

And ughhh, Jaybin trying to mend those burned bridges because he's alone and without proper support, but it's like he's a ghost

So, because Jaybin knows that it must be his fault, he singles out Jason. Without really understanding what happened, Jaybin blames himself and tells Jason to fix it.

Because Jaybin wants his dad back. He wants his family.

Jason being blindsided by 'his' upset feelings although they're nothing new. He's sat with them for years. No one understands more than him how fucking bad this grief hurts.

But Jason is Jason and while he feels a compulsion to help, the subject matter strikes him dumb temporarily

So Jaybin grieves because he can't understand what went wrong. Something something, he lashes out and says some cruel things about how they should just die

And that's what Damian overhears and like. This boy does not take kindly to the cruelty.

There's a Damian/Jaybin throwdown that finally snaps Jason back into action. He separates them and sends Damian off with a promise to tend to him later, but for now - Jaybin

With Jason patching Jaybin up. And them having a bit of a heart to heart.

Where Jason hears out everything that's bothering Jaybin and answering as patiently/kindly as he can. Things with Bruce? Can't fix that. Gotham? Work in progress. Bat methods are a joke, so he's trying his own thing.

And Dick?

What about him?

Jaybin kicking out his leg and grumbling about how Dick still hates them. He avoids Jaybin like the plague.

Jason being surprised at that. While it made sense back in Jaybin's timeline (something Jason has begrudgingly come to understand), Dick seems the sort to capitalize on a situation like this. Jaybin is, objectively, darling. And easily teased.

Jason grumbling about how Jaybin must have that crush by this point in time, huh?

Jaybin flustering because what? No. Shut up.

Jason snickering, then getting melancholic and soft. He shrugs and admits nothing comes of it. Better to give it up.

Have you?

It's the biggest call out.

It's not something Jason is dealing with, so he slaps a bandage on Jaybin's face and goes to tend to Damian

Which leads to sleepovers at Jason's flat. Where Damian bristles like a territorial cat because Jaybin is encroaching on Damian's Jason/space/etc. The only reason Damian behaves himself and begrudgingly looks after Jaybin is because Jason requests it of him. Damian definitely isn't happy about it though.

Which leads to a whole other side plot of Damian learning about who Jason was before he grew to be what he is. And Damian recognizing qualities he really loves about Jason in Jaybin, but also the differences. Like how all Jason's jagged edges aren't yet so piercing. Jaded, but not yet wrecked.

And of course Damian falls in love with Jason all over again contemplates his discoveries to Dick. Who is fondly reminiscent because he remembers well and sees it all, too. ;U;

But what's more? Dick recounting stories of the sparse times Jason and he were together. Damian noticing how Dick is so soft and melancholic and regretful.

Which, like - just hang out with him? Jaybin is here. Now's the time to make things right.

Which Dick is adamantly against because he's of the mindset that he'll make things worse. He always does with Jason. And Damian is fully just l: because really, Grayson? Pathetic. He wasn't there before; be there now. If Damian knows anything with any certainty, it's that Dick is unashamedly relentless. Is Damian wrong? )<

More than anyone, Damian knows the importance of Dick just…showing up. So.

Which leads to Dick asking Jaybin to go on patrol with him.

Needless to say, Jaybin, Jason, and Damian are dumbstruck because what

Jason and Damian? Jealous af (though Jason bites his tongue while Damian spits and sputters because he's Robin, damn it). Jaybin though? Starry eyed with the most brilliant of smiles

Commence a lot of Dick and Jaybin bonding as Dick steps up in the way he couldn't before. All while Jason and Damian get all huffy and petulant in the background.

But it's cool because Jaybin invites Dick over for dinner at Jason's one night. Which forces Dick and Jason to spend time together in a domestic capacity. But before that:

Dick being let inside the flat by Jaybin. And Jason peers around the corner to the kitchen because who the fuck?

His eyes going wide because wtf is Dick doing here?

'Whatever it is - it wasn't me.'

Which makes Dick grimace because he's not here on a case, Jaybin invited him

Jason being all wary because that's just how things are at this point. Still, he lets Jaybin have his company. It's fine. It's whatever. Jason was cooking extra anyway.

And yeah, something something Dick watching Jason be a caretaker

Dick minding his own business before Damian kicks him beneath the table and glowers at him because: 'don't get any ideas, Grayson.'

To which Dick is !! because what? No! No, no.

It's just surprising/disarming/sweet, is all. Dick's never seen Jason in this capacity. //3///

And yes. More dinners. Family patrols. Dick being brought more into the loop and Jason begrudgingly allowing Dick into their family unit space. Something something, Dick running errands after work or bringing home food. Everyone going out for some outings. Joint patrols. Just strong family vibes that heal all of them, tbh. ;U;

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[filledwithfullmetal]

ok opinion!! fma 03 ending was not that bad and even good actually..

it was a gigantic deviation from the manga, but the whole 03 anime was already more of its own thing. the ending completely fits the vibe, and while it was a bit exposition-y and a lil silly i think that it is a great ending for that show nonetheless. im sad not more ppl know it, bc the angst potential is just wow!! especially for fics!!

sorry adding one more opinion: fma03 carried ed's personality (esp the more tropey parts) (tho fmab did work more on him), ed in fma03 just felt like a kid and slowly became more harrowed by the stuff that happened,, u could feel the unresolved trauma seeping off him in the ending which i like.

sorry for the long ask! im just a sucker for angst and esp for fma 03 <3

YOURE SO BASED!!!!

i admit its been quite a few years since ive seen the end of 03 but i think people who try to compare it to the manga/brotherhood are making a mistake when they do that. 03 and brotherhood are both good stories in their own right, and i think 03 did fantastic creating a storyline of their own

also you're so right about the character progression in 03! like in brotherhood, they only really focus on the more heavier plotlines, so they ended up cutting out a lot of lighter plotlines and side characters. i get why they did that for the sake of getting to the content 03 didnt cover but at the same time the lack of light-hearted plotlines in brotherhood made it so we dont get to see ed's character growth to quite the same extent

[ae-nar]

Can we peek a little tiny bit at whatever requests you’ve got in progress? The people need to know 🥺

of course! right now i have 19 (if i can count which is a very big if) requests. im working actively on one of them and im trying to work on another one.

btw if i havent replied to ur ask/request i have plans to work on it! or a desire to do so later....

now the thingy to move on to the teasers!

lot #1 i kinda changed the prompt a bit, im sorry, anon, but part of it went like this "rafi gets off on sonny saying shit like your pussy, cunt, etc" not sth i imagine myself playin a lot with but it fits this fic! anon also requested missionary but well... the scenario in my head said public sex in a club so u r gettin that. and 2.5k words of sonny dressing rafael up cause apparently thats a thing

yes, i have a sweet girl rafi obsession at the moment, these are mostly self-indulgent but i love them and im not sorry. sweet girl rafi takes precedence.

lot #2 rafael seeking sketchy sex in some club in new jersey, just getting used, when suddenly one session sonny and nick are there this one im having fun (as much as i could given the topic) with, just traversing the themes of self-worth and how the lack of it might lead to some dubcon/noncon situations. its one thing to crave sth sketchy and complete other to ignore ones safety (which is exactly what rafael is doing here... or at least thats my plan)

in this one amarisi was a thing first, only sonny has experience with d/s so nick is just 🧍‍♂️. also amarisi have been looking forward to becoming barmarisi before this moment so uh. yeah. and nick might be pretty compatible with raf for uh... some of the kinks...

[bloody-wonder]

the diversity thing is so disappointing. idk what I expected but its such a let down. I think the fact she wouldn't write Jean or Jeremy as poc kinda just sums it all up. even though it would've felt a bit disingenuous becuz they obviously weren't originally meant to be that way, it still would've been nice to see an actual interesting character with depth not be white.

she did approve those new covers where matt & Dan are black which is kinda cool, but also I've already seen instances where ppl try to talk about the lack of rep in the original and ppl pipe up to point out how Dan & Matt are black - 'as evidenced by the covers'. like. they are now I guess, but they weren't then.

tumblr rlly does make u think that progressive beliefs are the norm. but also. most ppl on tumblr seem to think diversity is when u just randomly make some background/unimportant characters poc and everybody else, including those most important, is white. idk where I got this idea that most fans on here would think she needs to do better, but they have certaintly proved me wrong, and it's a little disheartening.

ig non white jeremy was a no go bc she wanted to do the conservative racist family thing and as for jean there would've been extra research on the topic of poc in france involved. aftg is a self pub series nora is writing for fun so i honestly can't blame her for not wanting to do all that extra work. let her keep her white ken dolls - i'm personally more so disappointed on account of the secondary characters who are diverse but not interesting at all. i think there's a deeper character work/writing problem there. so in other words: i don't think the diversity issue would have been solved if she had just made jean or jeremy not white bc all the rest of the characters would still remain cardboard cutouts and the overall quality of the book wouldn't have been improved.

obviously no credit goes to nora for black dan & matt but it's cool that it's now basically canon. a different question is why the fandom collectively chose these particular characters and not, say, one of the main trio to be poc🤷‍♀️ everyone loves their white ken dolls

[goose-duck]

♡Our World♡ (pt. 1)

Killer x Reader

Killer from One Piece comes to our world and meets u :D

Pt 2

~~~~~~

I was at work, not doing anything really, my boss has me working security at an empty court house. The place smells bad and has a rodent problem, but it's quiet so I don't mind. I was on my phone, writing a One Piece fanfiction. I love One Piece, it's always been my favourite anime. It was made before I was born in 2005, but my mother loved it so I often watched it with her as a child and I fell in love.

As I continued to write I heard a strange sound and saw a headache inducing light in front of me. I had no idea what I was looking at but it sure as hell wasn't normal. I get headaches easily due to a head injury so I wasn't even able to look at the light to see what was going on…to be fair I doubted a person without a head injury would've been able to either. My ears start ringing and my head feels light but not in a good way, the radio feels like it's blaring and I can't keep my eyes open. I was starting to get worried with this strange light, it wasn't coming from anything in the room, it was just there. I hold my head, trying to stay conscious as it feels like my head is exploding.

Suddenly it all stops and there's a man standing in the middle of the courthouse. I recognize him immediately, Killer, from One Piece. What the hell? Why is he here? Am I dead? Is this heaven?? Maybe it's hell…why would it be hell, he's my favourite character..? As I continue to ask myself questions with no tangible answer he turns his mask covered head to me, “hey.” he says, almost in a questioning tone but it sounds more like he’s just trying to get my attention. I quickly snap out of my thoughts and look up at him, “hi.” I say meekly, still confused and even a little scared, the lingering effects of my headache making it hard to keep my eyes open, all lights still bothering me.

He doesn't come any closer to me however he does turn his body to face me, “where am I? Did you do this?” he asks sternly, demanding an immediate answer with his tone. I get scared, I think he's really cool, but I wouldn't doubt he'd make me regret living if he thought I did this, “no…no! Nuh uh! Not me! That sounds really suspicious…uh…it wasn't me, I swear! I do however think you're in a different reality…” I say, trying to sound as normal as possible and quite frankly failing to the largest degree. He relaxes a bit, realizing there's absolutely no way I could have done this. He then sighs again, “another reality? What makes you think that?” he askes, sounding almost stressed, definitely worried and confused. “I mean…your name is Killer, right?” I say, almost unsure despite his appearance. It’s not a common name, if its his it'll be obvious who I'm talking to. He looks stunned, I may not be able to see his face but his body language is more than enough to tell how he feels. “yeah. That's my name.” he somehow seems less trusting of me now. He continues, “how’d you know that?” it's a good question to ask, even if I know he's from an alternate reality it doesn't explain how I know his name. I start sweating a bit, this is getting stressful, “because…um…uuuuhhhhhhh” I start panicking so I just make a weird noise and freeze up.

I stop with my stressed groan and just sit there giving him a very obtuse look. He crosses his arms and I'm sure under his mask he's giving me a look too. This has got to be one of the worst shows of my lack of social skills ever. He sighs and relaxes his body, “I'm not gonna hurt ya” he says, trying to reassure and calm me down so I'll talk. I start trying to stutter out my words but I make no progress, some weird squeak coming out of my throat instead of words. I begin to get annoyed with myself and sigh dropping my head onto my desk, “fuck.” I mumble under my breath. He walks over to me, causing me to quickly sit upright to get further away without looking rude. He notices this action isn't just me sitting up, it's me being afraid. He backs up a little, holding his hands up. I mumble out an apology, “s-sor-fucking…ugh…sorry.” I try to calm myself and speak with more conviction however it doesn't work very well, I sound as pathetic as before, but I've got a calmer look on my face. He nods at me, silently acknowledgeding and returning my apology.

I sigh for the millionth time, still trying to collect myself. I begin trying to explain in terms he’d understand, “I know your name because you're from a book in this world…the author drew you on the cover of one of the books. Does that make sense? Do I sound crazy? Who am I kidding of course I do…especially now that I'm talking to myself…” I start rambling towards the end, changing from talking to him to myself. Killer seems to be a little concerned with whatever my problem is but he understands my explanation. “you sound a little strange, however this whole situation is strange so that's not a big deal.” he responds, reassuring me I don't sound completely deranged. I nod at him, an awkward smile on my face.

I ask the question that needs to be asked, “so what now?” he hums, “I need a place to stay, would you be okay with that place being with you?” he asks politely, he's giving me room to back out but I'm sure he more than knows I'll say yes, either out of pity or because he's a character from a book I like. I nod at him, “yeah, yeah, that's okay, we can do that…uh…yeah.” I squabble out at him in response, trying to hide my excitement. He looks around, “is this your house?” “no, I just work here” “ah, it smells weird” “no kidding, it smells like old people” he seems to hold back a laugh at that…right, he doesn't like his laugh…hm…I wonder at what point in the story is he from..? “hey, Killer..?” I ask tp get his attention, he looks at me, “hm?” I take in a nervous breath of air, “what's the most recent event that’s happened in your life?” his body language screams confused, “what? Why? Shouldn't you know, you've read whatever book I'm from.” I respond quickly, “oh, uh, just so I don't spoil the future potentially” he nods, “Kid and I just left Wano.” he states calmly. “ah…okay…don't read the book or anything then.” I say a little quieter than my previous words. “oh? Okay.” he says, presumably giving me a strange look under his mask.

I sit there for a second before striking up a conversation again, “I'm here for a few more hours, then I can take us to my house.” I inform him. I'm lucky, not many people can afford a house nowadays, many struggle even with an apartment, I'm just lucky my grandparents left me their house. Killer nods at me, he doesn't seem to mind that he’ll have to stay at the courthouse for a few hours. I wonder if that's because he probably does a lot of just sitting around on a pirate ship…they have no internet or anything on one of those…though he'd have people to talk to, at this job it's just me…sometimes I wonder if it'll drive me crazy. At least I have him to talk to now, even if he is a man of notably few words, at least someone's listening and I don't come off as completely nuts.

He seems fascinated by the radio I have on. It makes sense, snails do this stuff in his world. My old school radio from the 80’s definitely isn't a snail. “whatcha thinking about?” I ask, not wanting to just assume I know what he's looking at. ��this thing…what…what is it?” he sounds relaxed with me now, however I still sounded skittish. “oh, it's a radio, it's an old one from the 80’s.” I say, then I realize ‘the 80’s’ is probably something he's not gonna get and I mentally slap myself. “a radio? The 80’s? What year is it?” he asks sounding a little distressed again. “a radio works like a snail and its the year 2024.” I respond nervously. “oh.” he says, sounding very perturbed. I try to change the topic, finding the atmosphere is getting uncomfortable, “want a cookie? I bought one at Tim’s earlier.” I hold out a chocolate chip cookie to him. He takes it from me, “thanks.” he then turns away, presumably to eat it. I debate telling him I've already seen his face in the book or not but I decide not to for now, I'll let him show me if he wants to.

After he finishes the cookie he turns back around, “it was good…tell Tim it was good.” He seems to have assumed ‘Tim's’ is a small personal restaurant or maybe a friend, that tracks, in his world it probably would be. “Oh…uh…I can't…it's a restaurant chain.” “A restaurant chain?” “Yeah.” “What's that?” “Corperate business?” “Nope” “ugh” “sorry” “no, don't..I…ugh…it's like if I restaurant had some power in the government?” “Oh…alright.” That was a bit awkard, but I did enjoy hearing his voice a bit more, it's nice, the sub and the dub, he's always got a beautiful voice. I get a bit ballsy and tell him that, “you've got a nice voice.” He turns his head to look at me, seeming to check if i was telling the truth. After a few seconds of stunned silence he responds with an awkward, “thanks.” he then stands there for a few more seconds, thinking about something, “what's your name?” oh right, I hadn't introduced myself, “oh…Y/N.” he nods, “it's nice, suits you.” I giggle a bit, “thanks, picked it myself.” “you did?” “yeah.” “why?” “my old name didn't ‘suit me’.” “ah, I get that.” “you do?” “kinda.” “I belive you.” “thanks?” “you're welcome!” I enjoy the quick conversation, we seem to have a deeper understanding of each other now.

A few hours later and me and him are talking like long time friends. He's still got some walls up, but we're able to just chat, it's nice. I realize it's 5:00pm and I can go home so I start closing up. “what are you doing?” he inquires. “closing up so we can go home.” I respond, flicking the lights off, “can you help me with teh blinds? Some of them are hard to reach.” he nods and gets up, going to a window and twisting the thingy to close the blinds, he continues until they're all closed. “anything else?” he askes, willing to help me further if I need it. “The chairs out front, they're such a pain to bring in…I bet it'd be easy for you.” I ask, giving him a small sweet smirk. “why?” he asks. “why bring them in or why do I think it'd be easy for you?” “both.” “there's gonna be a hurricane, I don't want the chairs to blow away. Regarding the other thing…I think your eyes work well enough for that one.” he lets out what sounds like a scoff and a laugh, “yeah, I can see that.” I giggle a bit, “nah I'm so strong.” “sure, buddy” it feels like he's smiling behind his mask so I smile back. He then nods his head and leaves to bring the chairs in for me.

When he comes inside I ask him to close the door behind him, telling him we'll be leaving through the back door. He closes the door behind him and walks over to me packing up my work stuff, “I have the next two days off so we can spend some time together and I can teach you some basic stuff about this world so it's easier for you to be here.” “alright, sounds good.” he says, picking up my monster energy drink and looking at it a bit strange, “uh, weird drink branding…what is it?” “just an energy drink.?” “why do you need that?” “I've got no energy…also it tastes good.” “why do you have no energy?” “anemia.” my answer is so blunt it seems to stun him a bit before he nods and gives a small hum of acknowledgment. “think you can hold it for me? My hands are full and I gotta be able to lock the door.” I ask him, he once again nods at me. I then head for the back door, unlocking it so we can leave, then locking it behind us once we're bothe out.

“which way to your house?” he inquires. “huh? Oh, right. You don't know what a car is..” I respond sheepishly. “a..a what?” he seems confused, which is the obvious emotion one would feel in this situation. “those things that have been going past the building all day.” “do you live in one of those?” “no, but some people do.” “why mention them then?” “they're a mode of transportation.” “I see.” I then walk over to my car, a small orange car, nothing special, “this is my car.” he looks at it like it's the strangest thing ever, “it's very orange.” “I wanted it to be easy to find.” “you definitely can't miss it.” I giggle in response. I then think for a second…will he fit? Probably…he'll just have to move the seat back. He seems to be thinking the same thing, “will I fit?” he asks, his body language seeming a little worried. “yeah, just put your seat back…wait…no…I'll do it for you.” I unlock the car, putting my things behind my seat in the back. I think walk around to the front passenger seat and get in, pushing it back for him. Instead of getting out and walking around the car like a normal person I just climb over the center console and sit in the driver's seat. “alright, get in, buddy boy!” I say casually. He gets in, seeming to snort under his breath a little at my antics. He closes the door, thank the gods that's obvious enough that I don't have to explain it.

I put my seatbelt on then I look at him in anticipation for him to do the same thing…he doesn't. “uh..um…you see that thing above your right shoulder?” “the metal thing?” “yeah.” “what about it?” “pull on it.” he pulls on it. “put the metal bit in the red thingy” I point at it and he does it. I hear the click and nod, “that's a seatbelt, you gotta wear it in cars for safety.” he nods…he does a lot of nodding. “You can handle being on a ship…so…uh…you probably won't get car sick, but tell me if you feel sick, okay?” I ask him, giving him a lightly worried look. “I will.” he responds, turning his head to look at me. I start the car and his breathing seems to stifle a bit before he calms down. “you good?” he nods at me, “yeah, just wasn't expecting that.” I nod at him, takinga page from his book and not saying anything further. I then start driving, he doesn't seem too worried about this, given he's on Kid’s crew I imagine he's dealt with worse.

Once we get to my house and parked in the driveway I unbuckle my seatbelt and look at him again, hoping he caught onto that. He looks at me awkwardly…clearly he didn't get that. “push on the red thing you put the seatbelt in” I whisper to him as if someone else would hear. He awkwardly nods and does it. I then get out of the car, him following soon after, still holding my monster…he's been holding it this whole time…oops. I grab my things from the back seat and walk up to my house, unlocking the door and walking in, giving Killer a gesture to follow. He follows behind me, closing the door when he gets inside. My house opens to a small space with some stairs upwards. I kick my shoes off and walk upstairs. He follows suit, however being a bit less aggressive about taking his shoes off, opting to slip them off rather than just violently kicking them off. He follows me up the stairs that leaf to the living room, kitchen and a hallway. I set my stuff in the kitchen on the counter by the back door, he sets my drink down there too. “thanks.” I say giving him a soft smile when he sets my drink down. “you're welcome.” he says. I'd half expected to just get a nod but this is nice.

I walk more into the center of the kitchen. “I'll give you a quick tour!” I say with some slight enthusiasm, he nods in return, watching as I walk back over to the back door, “this is the back door…obviously…” I then turn to the right, “this is a washroom.” I turn to the right again, “closet.” he nods at me and watches me slide on my socks back into the center of the kitchen, “kitchen!” I do a large enthusiastic gesture like this is some grand show. I then walk over to the left where the dining room is, it's just a table on the other side of the kitchen counter, “dining room…” I then wonder into the room next door that funnily enough doesn't actually have a door, not from this side at least, “den area.” he follows me into the room, observing it a bit and seeing some things that tip him off that the town he's in is near the ocean.

I then open the folding wooden door and walk through. He doesn't immediately follow, he's looking at a shelf beside the door, it has my graduation picture and pictures of my friends and two of my cousins. “who are these people?” he points at a picture of me and two boys as kids. “oh, that's me and my cousins.” “ah” “why do you ask?” “kid kinda looked like you.” I giggle at the irony of the kid actually being me. He seems to look at the pictures like he's looking for something. “you good?” “huh? Oh, yeah.” I seem to have caught him off guard. I give him a look, one that says ‘what are you looking for’ before shaking my head and continuing with my tour. “This is the living room!” I say enthusiastically, diverting his attention completely away from whatever he was thinking. He looks around in here too, noting how it's more vacant than the well decorated den.

I then go down the earlier mentioned hall, “there's a bigger washroom over here..” I point at the first door on the left, “and every other room is bedrooms. Mine is that one” I point at the last door on the left, there's only four door down this hall, meaning the other two are guest rooms. “the one with the queen size bed is the last door on the right and the other one has two twin beds. He nods at me and goes down to the room with the queen sized bed. He hesitates to open the door, “go in” I encourage. He opens the door and looks I side. He looks at the room like it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen. “something wrong?” “red, green and yellow…um…everything?” “yes?” “why?” “because it is.” he looks at me like there's something wrong with me. The rest of my house looks normal except for this guest room…I couldn't be bothered to fix it because I'm not in there often so it looks like how my grandparents had designed it.

“My room’s right across the hall if you need anything.” I say with a friendly tone. He nods at me and despite his judgment of my guest room he thanks me for giving him a place to stay anyway. “we'll deal with the clothes problem tomorrow, I think you'll be okay for tonight, right?” he nods, “yeah, I'll be okay for now.” I smile at him, “wanna see my room?” “sure.” I open the door to a relatively normal room, a bit messy and there's some One Piece related things but it ultimately looks normal. Why does it looks normal? Because there's a room I haven't shown killer yet. It's got my gaming set up and all my merch from different things i like…it's also got a washing machine and a drier. “nice room.” “thanks.”

“what about that room you walked past earlier?” “what room?” “the door in the kitchen?” “oh.” that's the door to the room…guess I'll have to show him. I signal for him to follow me and I open the door, theres wooden stairs that lead to an open space. I walk down and he follows. Once we get down there and around the stairs he sees many One Piece and other interesting merch items, he also sees my PC set up and a landry machine…he then sees the figures I have of him and he barely contains his laughter. “your laugh is beautiful, however, do not.” I look at him with shame and embarrassment. He struggles to hold in his laughter, snickering under his breath but calms himself and nods. “it's…great.” he tries to tell me, “don't lie.” “it's amazing.” “Killer.” “Y/N.” we stare at each other for a bit before I start laughing and he does too, he clearly is embarrassed by his laugh but can't stop it so I reassure him, “your laugh is so lively, I love it!!” I continue to laugh about my tragic obsession being on full display. He continues to laugh but gives me a genuine thankful smile for my compliment, it's like he's never heard someone say they love his laugh. Maybe he hasn't, but I love it, I do, I really do and I can see he knows it. Even if I can't actually see the smile on his face his body language changed instantly after I said that, he was calm with me anyway but it seemed like any lingering concerns melted away.

Once we both stop laughing we go back upstairs. He offers to make supper since he's gonna be staying with me for a bit and I have to break the news that I have practically no food in my house. He seems confused at that…why did have nothing here? What do I even have? “what do you have?” he asks. “uh…” I'm not even too sure myself anymore. I open the fridge to see milk, orange juice and bread. I then open the freezer, there's microwave steamed buns and some ice cream…and a frozen chocolate bar for some reason?? What the hell was I doing?? I then go to the cupboards, there's bearpaws and goldfish crackers. “um…sorry?” I uppologize confusedly, unsure if he'd be upset with me.

He just pats my head, seemingly feeling bad for me. “I won't take your food tonight.” he says kindly, walking off to the guest room, probably to sleep so he doesn't feel hungry. I feel bad that I have no food…I don't have the money for food…Killer doesn't seem upset with me, but he seems worried, he feels bad for me and my lack of food. I sigh and go to my room too, I didn't even get to show him the TV or my phone but maybe that's for the best for now…give him some time to think about what he's already seen. I go to my bedroom, not to sleep, but just to play games on my phone for a while. I'll wait for him to come talk to me if he wants to tonight and if not then I'll see him in the morning…presuming he's still here in the morning.

[valleygirlmukuroikusaba]

too much studying and stuff going on aruggdgfhghdjf ok i will au-rot as a treat today...... yay

kyoko and byakuya with the one day where both chihiro and kiyotaka are absent are able to properly bond and realized they’re much able to compromise by working parallel to each other without kiyotaka-chihiro’s influence

but later those two come back and propose the new perspectives and ideas both of them got from hanging out with mondo-leon-makoto-VGM

hesitant at first kyoko and byakuya reluctantly make their compromises

since they did so well without them they r more open-minded for this brief moment and let kiyotaka and chihiro swap positions 

little did they knew that . all hell would break loose. 

power vacuum happens and byakuya is doing a “told you so” but since taking it out on chihiro isn’t a option this time around

byakuya ends up being more productive(i mean this was the goal of the structure reform but its lacking the grace sighhh) 

but motivated to cut off VGM from the investigation progress entirely 

and assuming this happens around the time that Sayaka and Makoto get publicly smeared by FMJ, takes advantage of that news panic

kiyotaka tried everything in his power to stop byakuya from being destructive but byakuya rebels in the end.

byakuya is overwhelmed by the change 

and the switch in structure is forcing byakuya to change and see things he’s not ready to accept and it’s going to take time 

this was kinda gonna happen one way or another but byakuya being in conflict in himself is made apparent and . 

byakuya is fucking terrified 

but this time it’s not chihiro’s job to console him since kiyotaka is actively distracting byakuya from going back to the old structure

and while both kiyotaka and chihiro are even more stressed out by byakuya than ever before they choose to commit to the new structure regardless because they both know this was their only opportunity to enact this

kyoko somehow takes more grace to adjusting to the new structure but kyoko also takes on byakuya’s now abandoned load of getting more info on VGM. chihiro offers to share the work between them and kyoko accepts 

plus chihiro got VGM’s contact after chihiro’s rundown with her the other day. kyoko just kinda asks for chihiro’s opinion on VGM and its all been pretty positive feedback 

so kyoko def encourages chihiro to keep in contact with VGM also its good conversation for when kyoko is ignoring byakuya’s spiraling breakdowns instead of being productive on days where he's lamenting in fragile denial since he’s been at it for a hot minute 

ig she got to feel empowered by having opportunities to diss byakuya and him proving kyoko right because he can’t fucking think straight now but fun’s over and now she’s like. ig this is my life now byakuya is fucking useless 😭😭😭

anyways after byakuya finds out abt leon nearly dying at the hospital and byakuya going on a rant on how he hates VGM and also how he also hates FMJ to leon

the exhaustion from being so hostile in response to all the overwhelming confusion and frustration he’s been letting loose starts to catch up to byakuya and since byakuya refuses to let anyone see him in this state he just kinda leaves the hospital and on the way bumps into. 

aoi and sakura by sheer chance. 

aoi’s like holyshit i havent seen you in ages but also tf happened u look terrible. byakuya is actively ignoring her questions and is hyper aware abt how aoi just keeps looking at him weird and sakura eventually breaks the silence forcing byakuya to face the fact he’s not like himself today and that aoi+sakura are obviously not convinced with  byakuya’s sloppy attempts of trying to reflect their comments

he just kinda just eventually tries to run away and the two follow after him 

ok only thought this far out back to studying 4 different subjects for exam on the 5th…………. brainrot is over for today…..

[kkochigomi]

hi.. im the anon who sent u an ask about ur updating! i read your last post and it made me extremely sad :( im sorry you feel your work isn't appreciated I only found you after mosquito pt 1 so im very new to your blog and i actually find your story telling very unique especially on tumblr. im not sure how to put it but the way you portray certain emotions and how things progress through a story i can tell you care deeply about what you create which makes it even more sad that you feel embarrassed by your engagement, im just one person so i cant do much on my own but i can say your followers or engagement aren't a reflection of the quality of your work. Dont give up yet! you are a good writer and have so much potential! if you choose to stay I’ll try to continue to support you here - 🐼 (I’ll use a panda emoji frm now on so u know its me!)

one of the things that makes me sad about leaving is readers like you, while I was writing the post I kept thinking about all the people who always engaged with my content though there weren't many of them.

I want to emphasize that the biggest reason for my leaving isn't the lack of engagement, just so many other things that need to be done that take priority. It's just that the lack of engagement made me less willing to attempt to weasel it in to my schedule.

In saying that, this isn't a permanent goodbye because I do like writing and I do care for my existing plotlines. This isn't even the first time I've "retired". But I wanna take the time to thank the people active who I saw frequently in my notifs like @hwanghyunjinenthusiast and @morel-z

I know there are more but I can't think of them at the moment. I also wanna thank you, 🐼

[traewilson]

Currently thinking about Disney's Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. Watching modern Disney films always makes me think about it; about the things we've lost in the pursuit of one arbitrary definition of "progress". We are, today, all of us, be we audience or executive, slave to the here and now. The trends, the hot new things. It's a major problem in the culture, with how we view art as "dated" or "old-fashioned" as being objectively ontologically inferior, lesser than, destined to be consigned to the dustbin of history.

But it's all arbitrary. Why don't we do traditional animation in America anymore? Because it isn't financially viable? How do you know when you haven't done it for serious in almost thirty years? How do you know when the last time you DID try, you intentionally then refused to market the films properly and released them in competition with surefire smash hits?

The heads at Disney and many other executive types at other film companies (obligatory David Zaslav reference, there you go, there's your obligatory boogeyman reference) aren't film fans. The days of people like Dino De Laurentiis who loved cinema being in charge are over. These people are venture capital vultures; they're Silicon Valley types obsessed with Now, Now, Now. Legacy and tradition, to these men, is just another thing to market and sell to folks. It means nothing to them except as another commodity (hence the live action remakes, but I don't want to get caught up in them every time I try to write something about the art form I love.)

Modern critiques of the film miss the forest for - not even the trees - the leaves and the branches. It's light on story. Okay? Lots of movies are, because cinema is a medium where narrative can often not be as important as what's literally happening on-screen, and what's happening beneath the surface, the subtext of the story. Most importantly, some critics engage with this film on a purely logical level, and refuse to engage with the emotional level. For many films, you can do this; many films work on both levels, though less than you'd think, especially as time marches on and cinema is overtaken by

T H E F I L M I N D U S T R Y [Bach's Toccata and Fugue's opening notes blare out]

But many films, especially in animation, work almost exclusively on the emotional dream logic, and no film more depends on this kind of lens and has such mastery within that framework than Snow White, to this day. The entire point of the film, the modus operandi, was to make clear to moviegoing audiences that a cartoon was capable of the same high drama as live-action. Nobody bought it, and were blown away when it changed the world. I would argue, to this day, however, the audience didn't actually get the point. Animation is treated as kids stuff, and it wasn't for lack of trying by Walt to change that. That was part of the point of Snow White - it's why the film is not just intensely happy but intensely scary, heavy, sad. It had to encompass the full spectrum of emotion, and that seems silly now, mostly because cinema has been so thoroughly influenced by Snow White, its influence is growing harder and harder to truly appreciate with each passing generation.

I would argue that, in many ways, animation failed to meet the promise of Snow White. In glimmers and bursts, films by Disney would match the emotional power of Snow White. Pinocchio was mostly up to the challenge - though the animation, even then, was noticeably worse. Fantasia is, I think, the only film that truly rose up to and beyond Snow White. The sheer emotional powerhouse of A Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria is one of the greatest sequences in, bluntly, cinema. And it flopped. Audiences didn't gel with it, and the film's timing in release couldn't have been worse, with certain events in world history resulting in parts of Europe that would've adored the film unable to see it. Because of the Nazis. (We'll get to the Nazi thing with Snow White, be patient.) Fantasia's failure rocked Walt and the onset of WWII forced him to shift into doing wartime propaganda in order to keep the lights on. He wanted Fantasia to be an active ongoing cultural project, where every year, it'd be re-released with new material. It still could've been, perhaps, after the war. But the free market spoke, so Walt just gave up on that dream, as he did many other dreams.

From there, it's no use comparing many of his later films to Snow White. They never did, and Walt knew it, and he hated it, and it killed his artistic spirit. Even when he tried, with his last true passion project, Sleeping Beauty, it flopped. Critics were lukewarm on it. Audiences didn't go see it. Now we see it as its own kind of animated triumph. It gave us Maleficent, one of the best characters ever made in animation. But that's now. At the time, the consensus was a bemused shrug. It was good - but it's not Snow White.

That refrain - it was good, but it's no Snow White - haunted Walt Disney across his career; no other film was ever quite good enough for the audience in comparison, and it drove him nuts. He saw people demanded Snow White, but whenever he made a film of a similar spirit, it wasn't ever good enough. Meanwhile, the films they made to keep the lights on while working on Sleeping Beauty were doing solid business and not getting needlessly nitpicked by bad faith criticism.

You can see his surrender reflected in the films post-Sleeping Beauty. He wasn't even really involved in the films anymore beyond a certain point. He got obsessed with the billionaire pipe dream of the Experimental Prototype City of Tomorrow, EPCOT, and it consumed him up until the lung cancer ended him. The narratives stopped demanding anything from the audience. They got all the dumb kiddy jokes they wanted, with none of the pathos and point. The darkness found in Snow White had become mere shadows by the time of Jungle Book.

(Revisiting this a day later)

You know, I talk like this? Less coherently and with more cussing, but these kind of tangents. You know? Not a good essayist; nor would I call myself one. I'm a rambler, and I rambled so hard just now I completely lost track of the point I was trying to make. I was going to gush about the film's deft mastery of tone. I mentioned it, but I didn't really get into it. How filmmakers that tried to make a film like Snow White focused so much on the darkness - a vital part of the experience, granted - that they forgot the joy and levity necessary to balance things. Or even the reverse; a preoccupation with joy and levity without the necessary darkness.

Don Bluth made a couple films which mastered this balance of tone, especially in his brief but potent collaboration with Steven Spielberg. The Secret of NIMH's levity is less saccharine than Snow White's, but he and his team displayed true mastery over the emotional pallet they chose to work within. It only gets really cheerful at the end, as Don so loved to do, in his belief that children can handle any kind of story as long as all ends happily. This mastery, thanks in large part (but not exclusively I must stress) to powers outside his control, was all but gone by the time of A Troll in Central Park. This is a film with all the saccharine tooth-rotting sweetness of Snow White with nary a dark tone in sight. And it tanks the narrative. Perfect for single-digit aged children, and nothing more than a strange curio, a case study to examine for adults. You can't have such an extreme sweet tone without its counterpart extremity.

A little phrase I'm coining, inspired by a line from Kingdom Hearts: the brighter the light in the narrative shines, the deeper and more profound the shadows must be, in reaction.

You can't have the Seven Dwarfs without the Queen, nor the Queen without the Seven Dwarfs.

Compare Troll in Central Park to a film that has the opposite problem - an intensity of darkness that doesn't allow light to gleam appropriately, especially in light of its surprisingly intense subject matter. A film explicitly stated to be following in the lineage of Grimm fairy tales and Walt Disney's early filmography, but perhaps learned the wrong lessons from. I actually still like this film quite a lot for what it tried to do, and maybe another time I'll write something more balanced about it. But this is a rant about tone, so, no punches pulled here:

Andrei Konchalovsky's Nutcracker in 3D is a film seemingly universally despised by what few people actually bothered to go see the damn thing. It's gained a notoriety almost entirely built off its concept - it's that Nutcracker film with the Nazi rats and a VERY unsubtle Holocaust allegory. Having actually seen the film, my views on it are more nuanced, but that's a rant for another time. I do not dislike the film's intended message, and the dark places the story goes are directions that, bluntly, family films haven't felt comfortable exploring in decades. Konchalovsky's mastery over the darkness his narrative calls for is exceptional. The Nazi rats are portrayed as bumbling, neurotic, but heartless. And New Yorkers for some reason. But the narrative does a poor job communicating the joy, the hope, the love, that enabled people to oppose the darkness of fascism, and keep hope in the face of evil. There is a single beautiful sequence where the main character Mary dances with snowflake spirits. It serves no plot purpose; it's just there to be beautiful (and to lay some lip service to the Tchaikovsky ballet). I say that affectionately, not as criticism. The film needed more scenes like this where the characters are reminded of the beauty of the world, of the magic in living that fascists would extinguish. There's a lovely melancholy little scene where Mary's Uncle Albert (played by Nathan Lane basically as a cartoon Albert Einstein) is confronted by her parents (played by Richard E. Grant and Andrei Konchalovsky's opera singer wife) who want him to stop filling Mary's mind with fantasy stories and to stop visiting her, so she can be prepared for "the real world". The song he sings here (another thing this film is notorious for, for some reason, the musical numbers) is Albert reminding Mary's father that he used to be a child too, that he had his own childlike wonder that he embodied in a pebble he kept on his person that was the most valuable thing to him in the world - until he lost it, and gradually, slowly but surely, he grew up, and the pebble was abandoned. Mary's father is in tears by the end, and it moves me too. Albert found his pebble, it turns out, and returns it to him. It's a lovely little scene - melancholy, but ultimately hopeful. The movie needed more scenes like this. But there are very few.

I neglected to mention up 'till now the pacing required for emotional stories like this. Emotional pacing. Snow White does this masterfully, and yet simply: for every dark scene with the Queen, there is a noticeably happy little scene immediately following it. At the end of the film, the tone hits its darkest depths. The Queen triumphs even in death; Snow White is seemingly dead. The Dwarfs mourn, even Grumpy who once loathed her (the real gut punch of the mourning sequence). And yet, in the end, her Prince has come, and a kiss that was likely intended as a parting kiss of affection miraculously saves her life. The Queen never considered that anyone could love Snow White, and indeed, love seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind at all times. Everyone cheers, everyone delights, the music is pure euphoria and relief. Snow White bids farewell to her dear friends, and rides off into the sunset with her Prince, away to his castle, seemingly nestled into the very clouds and lit in heavenly light. Her proverbial salvation heightened into the literal.

The darkness and the light in the narrative should respond in kind to each other. The more the heroes love and make merry, the more intimidating the darkness seems when it returns. And yet, the shadows inevitably give way to the light, even if just for a time, and when the light comes back, it shines even brighter than before. By the end, the terror and evil merely implied by the darkness has manifested itself and become all too real. Snow White is dead. And yet, even in her death, there is light yet to be found. The Christian allegory in Snow White seems obvious. She is resurrected by the Prince's love and taken to his heavenly palace nestled in the clouds. It's not very subtle once you notice it. But subtlety has no place in an emotional narrative. To hit the emotions, you gotta go big, grand, operatic even.

All that to say: The Nutcracker in 3D fails at properly balancing the emotional pallet, at the emotional pacing. The tone is reserved for the first half-hour, occasionally cheerful, but restrained by the reality of 1930s Vienna. Once the Rats enter the picture, the mood is overwhelmed by darkness - as it should be, when Nazis are involved. But the light of the narrative doesn't shine bright enough in response. There's some dumb comedy to lighten the mood, but it doesn't land. It only succeeds at pulling off a triumphant tone when the Rats are finally chased away. The celebratory sing there is quite good. Sir Tim Rice isn't a slouch. But there's too few scenes in-between the Rats' entrance into the picture and their exit where hope and light are allowed to show themselves. Konchalovsky was so caught up in accurately conveying the pervasive fear and terror of living under a totalitarian regime, he forgot to give proper time to the persistence of joy and hope that leads to said regime's downfall. He was so caught up in communicating the horror of the Holocaust in a way children could grasp, he neglected to show the hope and persistence in the belief in justice that allowed people to live through such awful times.

I of course must bring up, however, that Snow White was, ironically enough, adored by the Nazis, especially Hitler who considered it one of his favorite films, at least publicly. We'll never know if he actually loved the film or if he recognized the Germanic romanticization of the film itself lent itself unfortunately well to their ambitions of Germanic Aryan supremacy. I wonder if Walt knew his masterpiece was beloved by a monster such as Hitler. I am suddenly struck by the realization that emotional storytelling can be used BY evil, just as much as it can be used in opposition to it.

But that's a matter for me to privately contemplate on. I can plainly see I'm not able to tackle that subject yet. Truth be told, I feel like I barely managed the topic here and now.

My point being: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is a masterpiece for a reason. It may be hard for younger generations to grasp that, but I'm part of them too, and I got it. The old ways of storytelling aren't inherently worse or lesser than. They have their value even now; these stories just aren't allowed to be told and to succeed. They're consigned to a damned niche market, an inherently lesser than affair. I dunno, I think that stinks. Storytelling today is afraid to be emotionally open, largely in response to a traumatized miserable populace who has grown comfortably numb, and reject things that make them feel, even if it makes you unambiguously happy, because once you feel one thing, you tend to feel lots of other emotions too - darker emotions. I should know, I've been there many times. What a tragic state of affairs we're in today. We should build a society where emotions are as open in our art as they are in the audience. We shouldn't be numb. Numbness is next to death.

[lemon-wedges]

Heey just wanted to tell you that I adore your art, especially the way you draw Barok. You humanised him in a way I've never seen an artist do. All your characters, but especially him, look like real, soft, approachable people. I can almost see their chests expanding, I can imagine them laughing and breathing, I can tell how in love your ships are, which is very special and very rare

Your art makes me extremely emotional

(also where did you study, what books did u read, how long did it take you to learn to draw like that??)

AH thank you for the sweet ask! it really made my day to hear this TTuTT

As for your other asks, ill put them undercut with some photos and links to stuff!!

I've been drawing for about ahhhh 16 years( 8 of which are actually like serious school stuff than just a hobby) but tbh its only really been in the last 3 where i feel like ive been making actual progress in improving my stuff. but thats my personal path in art and its always gonna be different for you or anyone else.

anyways 3 years ago i made some changes to my drawing habits and study methods that were like. real specific to where i wanted my art to go (cleaner lines, better foundations, gesture, etc etc). I worked on thing one at a time tho!! it can get overwhelming real quick if youre not careful. So the stuff im gonna give you is geared towards....well, me? both in content im searching for and just the classes that resonate how i like learning

OK BOOKS:

CLEANER LINES. I use to have a habit of making like EXTREMELY sketchy and unconfident lines. This is a landscape book that i literally just copied every single thumbnail. Helped me get into the habit of both using only a few strokes to get an idea across and breaking down complicated subjects into shapes

ANATOMY. Morpho series. Its not a how-to-book tho its just a compilation of an artists break downs. This one is my fav tho. And helped a lot when i was struggling to understand like ALL BODY PARTS

CLOTHING. This is probably my fav clothing book. Very short and published in the 1940s. Its helpful specifically to ME cause its clothing is closer to TGAA outfits(mens) than more modern books LOL

And now CLASSES. I do actually have an art degree from a university and let me tell you. I was left SEVERELY lacking any skills i needed to go into the industry I was interested in 👍 (not cause of the professors but cause the school itself was actively killing its art department :p) So i was kinda just left looking into online stuff on my own (AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE!!!! MY BELOVED AFFORABLE CLASSES )

NEW MASTERS ACADEMY. Its a subscription-have access to all the videos for a month to a year- kind of thing. cheapest is about $40 a month. REALLY REALLY helped my anatomy and foundations. Steve Huston: Good for entire step by step anatomy break downs. Micheal Mattesi & Karl Gnass: Gesture. I've watched a handful of other videos but these instructors were the most helpful to me

DRAWING AMERICA. A lot more pricey. Around $100-$300. but youre basically paying to own the recorded classes and keep them forever. I've only really taken Will Westons classes cause he focuses on BGS and props. But he also has some nice composition stuff thrown in there too.

(I've taken a LOT of online courses and the thing about a majority of them is that they arent really taught by professors or teachers so they tend to be more like a giant Tip video than an actual lesson plan. And if u haven't taken an art class before the difference is HUGE)

and i think thats it? i guess if theres anything else i can give u its this tip:

you mentioned my art is humanizing. Thats a comment ive heard a few times and i guess its odd to say but i dont really know what youre seeing? Like i understand the "ships in love" but cause i did go out of my way to draw sappy love faces 10 bajillion times until i was satisfied. But alive? hmmmmmm like THINK i might know what you may be responding to. Its a combo of the gesture and my effort in trying not to loose the energy of the original sketch when i go to clean it up. And what ive figured out is this. Youre not outlining or tracing your under sketch youre REDRAWING it .

i put the under sketch and clean up next to each other so hopefully this makes sense but like. when i do an under sketch im only really focused on building the figure. When u build a figure youre drawing out bigger shapes and breaking them down into smaller and smaller ones. Lines feel like they have more energy at this stage because the circles and cylinders are fully drawn out, making them have a continuous momentum. So then when it comes to the clean up stage. im not looking to trace the exact lines i drew out (if u notice my final isnt a 1 to 1 copy of the og) im trying to follow the flow of the original lines. thats why youll see lines go thru the figure sometimes, its me trying to keep the energy in that line even if its not suppose to be very long.

idk if this makes any sense at all.....and maybe i should have recorded me actually drawing this out but [shrug emoji] i could do it later if anyone is interesting in wtf is happening here. CAUSE I SWEAR ever since i started cleaning my sketches like this i started to get those comments. but also i could be wrong too.....then i REALLY dont know what im doing ahahahah

Anyways, i hope something in here ends up helping you anon!!! GOOD LUCK ARTING I BELIEVE IN YOU :O