#and not caring at all about the fact that such mess stresses literally everyone else in the house out

[queerlyglittering]

some of y'all never had parents who aggressively shamed you for making even a little mess or even just mere evidence of your existence and it shows

[sadienita]

SKZ Reaction - You Refer to Him as Your Husband

bf!skz x reader

Contents: mention of drinking

You think it'll be cute to introduce your bf as your husband instead.

Chan

Makes him weak in the knees. The man nearly drops to the ground upon hearing the word “husband” pass your lips. Nevermind the fact that he already refers to you as his spouse in his mind and has been for months now. In that moment he wonders if you can read his mind, or maybe he’s been talking in his sleep? He will be a mushy, lovestruck mess for the rest of the day, clinging to you and grinning and taking it as an opportunity to start introducing you as his spouse to everyone. When you’re cuddling in bed that night he will ask if you mean it and he will start planning the wedding in his head the moment you say yes.

Minho

A cat-like smirk would turn up the corner of his lips but otherwise he gives nothing away. Well except for the red tinting the tops of his ears. His arm would pull you just a little closer and you know him well enough to tell from that that he liked it. He won’t say a word about it but it did make his heart race in the best way possible and he’ll give you a little more affection all day. In quiet moments just between the two of you he starts referring to you as his spouse from here on out, always with the same, cute grin.

Changbin

It’s so so incredibly obvious that he wasn’t expecting it. There’s a moment of shock before a massive smile spreads across his face. He practically squeals while he wraps you in a tight hug, very much confusing the person you just introduced him to. He doesn’t care. Literally nothing else matters. He’s your husband now and there’s no going back. He will refuse to respond to you if you try to call him anything else. If you ever introduce him as your boyfriend again he will cry.

Hyunjin

Pure shock. He's staring at you with wide eyes as you act like you didn’t just say the most life altering phrase he’s ever heard. He loves the way the word husband sounds coming off you lips. It’s perfect actually, like it was meant to be. When he finally comes back to his senses he gives you the same treatment, telling everyone that you’re his spouse and enjoying the way it makes you just as flustered as it did him.

Jisung

It honestly scares the shit out of him. He’s racking his brain for any memory of getting married. Did you two do something on a drunken night that he can’t remember? Did he somehow forget his own wedding?? You’ll have to pull him aside and ask him if he’s okay because he looks so incredibly stressed and he asks if he forgot about marrying you. It’s honestly so cute and you just kiss him and tell him you were just being cute. When he recovers though he will mumble that he kind of liked it and you can do it again if you want.

Felix

Literal instant heart eyes. Such a big smile graces his face but otherwise he tries to remain as chill as possible while inside he’s giggling, kicking his feet, screaming into a pillow. Literally cannot stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. He will not let you go and he will be stopping on the way home at a jewelry shop and telling them you’re engaged just to see how the rings look on your finger and which one he should get for you when he really does pop the question.

Seungmin

He’s so smug about it. Plays along but as soon as you two have a moment to yourselves and he's chuckling at you and calling you a simp as if he’s not just as whipped. Even if he won’t admit it though he absolutely loved it and it made him all soft inside. Much later when you’re cuddling and he thinks you’ve already fallen asleep he’ll mumble to you about how nice the word “husband” sounds when you say it and promises to make you his spouse one day.

Jeongin

He wants to be so cool and tease you about it but you caught him off guard. His face blushes crimson and he gets all shy and giggly about it, squeezing your hand and asking why you said that. He’s literally so soft over it and he can’t hide it. Even when he tries to tease you about being obsessed with him he’s giving you the most love struck gaze you’ve ever seen and he stumbles over his words. Late that night he asks you so quietly if you really wanna marry him and literally melts when you tell him yes.

[cultofdixon]

Sharing is caring

Daryl Dixon x Reader x Rosita Espinosa • She/Her Pronouns • They’re best friends…and you are theirs. • NSFW - Oral (F Receiving) / Hickeys / Biting / Face Riding / Missionary / Grinding / Fingering • TW: Canon Violence Mentioned / Injuries / Scars

Requested by: Anon

It was nice…

No longer having to worry about Negan and the Saviors. The group along with the many communities they’ve become close with through the troubling times can finally thrive and work together. To make everyone feel safe…

Daryl couldn’t help the smile that would grace his face as he finally felt a moment’s peace. Especially with the help of his human ray of sunshine. She was perfect. Didn’t push him to his breaking point, but still never left when they both knew deep down he needed her. She’d always patch him up after their more hairy runs with walkers. Lay with him and listen to every word that comes out of him with this loving and invested gaze that draws him in. She’ll look at him the same even when no words leaves his lips. She made him feel so cared for during all the chaos, even before and after. She was there.

His sunshine was perfect

But he wasn’t the only one to have a special someone.

Rosita has her querida, her love. She never thought she could love anyone after Abraham or as much as she did before he ruined it. Then came this woman that has been in her life for some time and shook her. Showing her that she can love with reasonable hesitation and that she would never hurt her the way the past did. Her smile always brightened the room and she knew just the right words to get a laugh out of her. The way she held Rosita close at night, running her fingers through her hair calming every nerve from the day just by protectively holding her close.

Her querida was everything.

….

But everyone knew their partners as Y/F/N Y/L/N. A literal human ray of sunshine and always knowing the right words to say to anybody. She is the most optimistic person you’ll ever meet, and the realist. Even happy people have bad days and she’s not afraid to express how she’s feeling.

Everyone knew Daryl, Y/N, and Rosita were this unspoken trio that went on runs together and got shit done faster since they work the best together. Little did everyone else know that Y/N was seeing the both of them, romantically.

It wasn’t kept from either of them. No offense to the archer and the warrior but they can be jealous of things important to them. While Y/N was more of “who could only love one person” type without all the mess that can be a misconception or fact for some people of said type.

When they had gotten used to it, Daryl had said out loud once during their run that if he had to share Y/N with, he wouldn’t want anybody else other than Rosita. And she couldn’t agree more. They each have their boundaries and all live in the same house at Alexandria, with their own rooms. Some nights Y/N will be with Rosita, other nights with Daryl, and sometimes she’s by herself. There will always be time for alone time. Again, no one really knows even if Y/N is an open affectionate person while Daryl is not and Rosita prefers privacy…but if someone had to bring it up, it wouldn’t be addressed with hostility.

Love whoever the fuck you want (within reason of course)

Packing has always been stressful. The old world made it a hundred times worse but in the apocalypse, one has to make sure they’ve got everything. Flashlight, knife, first aid, canteen…depends on the trip one would go on. In this case, Y/N was packing to head over to the Sanctuary and at a very late hour so that she’d have the morning with Daryl before she helps around then ultimately head back to Alexandria.

“Hey, mi amor” Rosita smiles leaning against the door frame as Y/N shot her a smile while she finished up. “You sure you don’t want me to drive you over there? I don’t mind one bit”

“I know you don’t. But you promised Rick you’d join him on the early run tomorrow morning. You need your sleep”

“Always so worried about lil ol me” Rosita laughs bringing herself into the room, wrapping her arms around her waist bringing her close. “I just want you to take the truck and not your bike. You’re not the smoothest biker”

Y/N tried to contain her laugh to an insult directed toward her as she turned around to hold her girl close.

“I’ll be safe. And if I eat shit, we both know Daryl will find me in minutes”

“I sure hope so or I’m going to have to kick his ass” Rosita smirks as the look on her face told Y/N for sure that she wasn’t lying. She will kill the man if shit happens.

With a quick kiss from her querida, Rosita let her finally leave before the light in the sky completely went out. Y/N started up her bike with her pack on her back as she had a helmet to ease both their anxieties. She gave her a quick sign of ‘I love you’ before heading through the gates once Eugene opened them for her.

The ride to the Sanctuary felt faster now compared to times before. Probably because they had to take the longer route to go unnoticed. Now it’s slowly becoming a community with Daryl’s help, which was a whole can of worms when he first told Y/N about it. The man would do anything for his brother, even risk his PTSD.

Daryl heard the knock on his door while he was drawing out farming plans for the Sanctuary. He waited a moment until he heard the familiar rhythmic knock that was a code for the two when they used to sneak around during the time they lived under the Grimes’s roof. He got up from his seat and went to open the door, instantly smiling to find his partner as she returned with her radiant smile.

“Hey sunshine” He continued to bear his smile letting Y/N in and closing the door behind her when his smile faded noticing the bit of a limp. “Did yea take another spill?”

“What? No!” Y/N lied setting her helmet down on the counter of the kitchenette along with her pack.

“Then why are yea wearing fresh pants?” Daryl crosses his arms leaning against the door waiting for her to admit it herself as all he received was a scoff to begin with.

She next went into her pack pulling out the torn jeans as she didn’t see the pothole on the way in and only ended up with road rash. Thankfully. Daryl helped her out of the pants she was wearing to cover up the fact as he went slow to avoid the open wound already sticking to the pants to cause more discomfort. As Y/N situated herself on the bed, Daryl tossed her pants on his chair before getting his first aid and cleaning it up then applying a bandage.

“Gotta get yea a new bike. Or force yea to take a car next time”

“Not my fault the pothole tends to win every fight”

“Mm. Can’t argue with that” Daryl finishes with the bandages and putting everything away. “She’s gonna kill yea”

“Mm. But if I tell her that you’re not as mad, she’ll direct her anger toward you” Y/N smiles as she brought her knees to her chest watching him roll his eyes fighting back a small smile. “Can I take the truck back?”

“Please, do.” Daryl exhaled a lot of the stress that built up from such, bringing himself to sit on the edge of the bed as Y/N uncurls herself to crawl on her knees to bring her beside him. “I’m glad you’re here though”

“You should come home soon. I’m slowly but getting there with my convincing to Rick. There are some trustworthy people here that could watch the place”

“Or get rid of it entirely” He frowns bringing his head to rest on her shoulder as she instantly kisses the top of his head.

The two went to bed shortly after getting ready for such and making sure she was settled as Daryl found himself comfortably laying on Y/N with his head on her chest after. He hums softly feeling her fingers run through his hair enjoying the feeling. He could lay there for hours and he did until he naturally shifted to be beside Y/N, bringing her into his embrace holding her protectively.

The Sanctuary didn’t get much natural light in their rooms as they were like solitary confinement. But the rooms still had that basement size window that gave just enough natural light to fill the room.

Y/N felt the warmth from the light hit her face but there was more happening as she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. A breathy choked off moan escaped her lips feeling his nose brush against her clit while his tongue lapped at her sweetness between her folds. Guess he had other plans in mind this morning. She felt her core build up as she instinctively bucked against his face when she felt the cord snap.

“Fuck…” Y/N moans, getting comfortable once again in the bed as Daryl brought himself out from under the covers releasing her panties back into place after pulling them aside just enough to enjoy his “breakfast”. “That better not be it, my love”

“Mmm…‘course not, sunshine” He smirks bringing his lips to hers as she could taste herself on his lips letting his tongue explore the inside of her mouth while his hands worked to completely remove her panties.

Once he did such, Daryl positioned himself in between her legs as he only parted from kissing her to catch his breath. Y/N brought her legs around him pulling him into her core as he got the hint starting to grind into her while he attached his lips to her neck.

“Dar…please” Y/N moans feeling the cord tighten as she wanted more than just the friction with his boxers.

“So polite” Daryl chuckles against her neck sucking on the spot to leave a hickey. “Be a good girl and tell me what you want, sunshine”

“God!” She moans feeling his dominant hand squeeze her breast through her shirt. “Please. For the love of god, fuck me!”

Daryl chuckles once more, pulling his lips away from her skin admiring the mark. “Okay sunshine. Rid yourself of your shirt while I get a condom” he pulls away entirely getting out of the bed, taking his boxers off as Y/N got a bit distracted staring at his naked form…tracing his image with her eyes admiring every scar and freckle she could see.

As Y/N started to get her shirt off, Daryl climbed back into the bed pulling her by the legs the second she got her shirt off…her core instantly meeting his dick as she lays back watching him align himself at her entrance glancing up at her every inch he pushes in.

“Fuck me…” Y/N moans hitting her head back against the pillow as Daryl smirks bringing his arms on both sides of her head reconnecting their lips while he started a slow pace.

As he gradually got faster with his thrust, he couldn’t help his own moans from escaping…especially when he hit the right spot that practically got Y/N screaming when his lips weren’t on hers. She held onto his shoulders being carefully not to dig her nails in, not like he’d mind. But as she felt the cord tighten again and Daryl felt her walls clench around him, they were both close.

“Fuck, you feel so good” Daryl groans, picking up the pace and going a bit rougher the closer he got.

“Daryl. Please. Fuck!” She moans feeling him slam into her as she gripped onto his shoulder blades when the cord snapped and her walls clenched tightly around him.

That drew a low moan from his chest as he reached his climax spilling his seed into the condom. He lays on top of her a moment to catch his breath while Y/N didn’t mind him laying on her as she gently caresses his back listening to him sigh contently.

“Should we get started with the day or…?”

“Mmm it can wait a few minutes”

More like an hour. The two took a shower to clean up before getting started with the farming plots Daryl drew up. Y/N took one of his shirts hostage and let him re-bandage her leg before going to get some ex-Saviors to help.

Once the day was finished, Y/N tossed her pack in the bed of the truck before approaching Daryl with a smile and kissing him goodbye. But he held her close for a little while longer.

“Don’t cause too much trouble, or imma have to come back”

“Maybe I want you back”

“Soon, sunshine” Daryl smiles giving her one more kiss. “Soon”

And with that Y/N made her way back to Alexandria, waving at Gabriel when he opened the gate for her. She parked in front of the house and was instantly met with Rosita’s warm embrace. Y/N tightened her arms around her hiding her face in the crook of her neck as Rosita rubs circles on her back.

“He knows mi amor. I know he does” Rosita frowns wishing Daryl would get the hint that her visiting him at the Sanctuary was a bit triggering. Given what they both been through during the war. Then there’s Rick who made the mistake of having him watch the place. “Come on, I can cheer you up”

“Oh yeah?” Y/N parts from her, her smile returning as it brought warmth to Rosita’s heart as she couldn’t help but kiss her partner before leading her inside.

While Y/N went to put her things away and get undressed, right before she got into something more comfortable Rosita approached her from behind wrapping her arms around her naked form pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“How about we take a shower? We’ve both worked hard today…a nice hot shower sounds nice right about now”

“The only hot thing about such is going to be us. When’s the last time we had hot water?”

“Hmm. I’m not entirely sure. But you’re very right about the hot thing” Rosita smirks kissing her shoulder then her neck while moving her hair aside to continue kissing her exposed skin. “I’m all ready for you, sweetheart”

“Hmm…that shower will have to wait” Y/N sighs relaxing against her touch as her hands moved from her hips to her breasts gently groping form behind until she wanted to see all of her. Making Rosita suddenly spin Y/N and shoving her onto the bed. “Eager aren’t we, my love?”

“I missed you”

“I’m right here, Rose” Y/N quickly sat up taking her face into her hands crashing her lips onto hers as Rosita pulls her to the edge of the bed by the hips keeping her hands there. The two continued to make out then and there until Y/N parted smirking at her love. “Sit on my face”

“You have a way with your words” Rosita laughs gripping her hips softly as Y/N rolls her eyes keeping her smirk.

“I’m forward is what you’re looking for and I know what I’m craving” Y/N smirks kissing her once more before laying back and bringing her entire self on the bed waiting for Rosita to eventually climb on top of her. “I don’t bite”

“I know that” She scoffs followed by a smile. “I don’t want to crush you”

“Oh trust me, that’s a hell of a way to die” Y/N smirks as Rosita smacks her shoulder. “But I promise I’ll tap out if I get too high on your body. Trust me though, I can never get enough of your gorgeous self”

Rosita felt the heat rise in her cheeks but a cute little touch was the blush that met her shoulders that Y/N could never get enough of when she gets her blushing. Rosita carefully positioned herself above Y/N’s face as she wanted to go slow lowering herself but when she felt her partner’s hands find purchase on her hips…she’s getting pulled down.

The initial contact caused a gasp to escape her but it quickly turned into a moan once Y/N brought her tongue through her folds. She was slow at first with her tongue as her nose occasionally brushes her clit. With the way they were in the bed, Rosita couldn’t hold onto the headboard but she did lean forward against the wall. The side of her bed was up against the wall in the corner. So as she leaned forward she felt Y/N’s hands grip onto her hips to keep her in place but scooted down a bit so that she could continue to eat her out and start her licking and sucking on her clit. Rosita bites down on her lip to contain the moans escaping her, ultimately failing when she felt her release one of her hands bringing her index and middle to start fingering her while sucking on her clit. The cord was tightening and she tried to keep herself from climaxing too quickly but the way her slender fingers brushed against that spot made it difficult to keep it together.

When Rosita felt Y/N tap her, she couldn’t help the whine that escaped her when she didn’t reach that snap. But she was immediately tossed onto the bed and Y/N brought herself back in between her legs looking at her woman with a smile on her face before bringing herself back down to her core and returning her lips to her core.

“Oh fuck!” Rosita moans arching her back feeling one of her hands reach up to grope her breast as the other started to finger her again.

The way her fingers thrust at the same pace she lapped at her clit, the cord snapped and boy did it. Rosita gripped onto the bedsheets arching her back moaning louder than before as she reached climaxed. Her back falls back onto the bed as she panted watching through hooded lids, Y/N pull her face away sucking her sweetness off her fingers and brushing what’s wet on her lips on the back of her hand.

“Holy shit…”

“Felt good, baby?”

“Always” Rosita exhales happily as Y/N brought herself leaning over her body pressing her lips against her lips. “Fuck…how could yea tire me out before I could do anything?”

“I wanted to take care of my girl, and I ain’t done. Imma start a bath for you and of course I’ll join you” She smiles kissing her once more before climbing out of the bed as Rosita watched her naked form approach the bathroom.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Don’t know, but I’m glad I have you”

[allureasdiary]

Currently ppl I've been using as muses & inspos:

• Rihanna

• Aaliyah

• Nicki Minaj

• Beyonce (in 2000s)

• Kendrick lamar

• Sharpay Evans

• Marilyn Monroe

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The main take away from all these ppl listed above is that they embody a certain self concept that I've felt called to embrace this year. Key themes such as standing up for myself, following my intuition & calling more, tapping into my dark feminine, enter my heiress/queen era, embracing leadership qualities, reflecting on my influence/how my character may impact others, not going back on my word aka standing on business, use negative energy as motivation.

Recently I had an encounter with an anon telling me something negative, I didn't give it much energy only a little however that alone made me feel something inside. A form of power when I did that. It felt good to stand up for myself and not just take the disrespect. Ive found myself feeling more positive when i did things i wanted to do rather than settle on what others wanted me to do. For example, me cleaning my room I share my room with my little sister which I despise honestly 🤦🏾‍♀️(currently manifesting new family btw), i had held off cleaning it because i felt as though since the mess is from her she should be the one tk clean it which only made me more irritated because i knew she wouldn't. Well i finally took things ibto my own hands and cleaned it all myself, I found myself not only feeling more vibrant but happier when I cleaned it the way I wanted it really reduced my stress. It's the same with my self care routine, when I did it the way I wanted a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It's only when I feel like my decision of how I may feel best is overshadowed and trampled over by outside opinions is when things tend to go south. I've felt the need more and more to break from boundaries and social norms and do my own thing without everyone else in my ear telling me what I should and shouldn't do.

��🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

Rihanna:

○ When it comes to rihanna, recently I've found her rawness really drawing to me. Especially when she was younger. She isn't afraid to say what she wants. Recently she did a photosgoot and i was super drawn to it. She continues to embrace her rebel "bad gyal" image and I've found myself relating to it. As someone who has always been label the "good girl" the dark theme has been truly drawing to me. Even if it isn't just dark colors, but the regal sex appeal, the rawness, the unfiltered chaotic energy, it's very magnetic to me. She also falls in the vixen archetype, which is one of the archetypes I have from the feminine archetype quiz.

Aaliyah:

○Now...I'm gonna be 100% honest, Aaliyah definitely wasn't someone I'd think I'd relate to at all. I didn't know her 100% well celebrity wise since I grew up with ppl like nicki, Rihanna and beyonce. However after doing research on her here and there and taking notes on how she was as an artist and person I've found I've related to her more than anything this year. She carries a mystic air about her that in today's artists you can see many tried copying and replicating. She was quite literally the world's it girl and even now ppl still talk about how amazing and sweet she is. I love how she didn't tell everything but told alot about her. She respected her own privacy majority of the time. Also I connect alot with her aesthetic of having like a tomboy look but it still looks really feminine in a way. She was a trendsetter at its finest and was soft spoken as well which makes me like her even more.

Nicki Minaj:

○ Ms. Nicki minaj, nicki Lewinsky, nicki da harajuku barbie!! She has been my #1 inspiration and muse when it comes to a high self concept. Despite the things that's happen in her personal life and seeing how her career has transformed over the years one of the main takeaways I can see is that since day 1 she never stopped affirming that she in fact was the #1 queen and that there would never and will never be another one like her, after her, can't even replicate her. Even in her old songs she quite literally prophesied and solidified her position as the queen of rap for years to come. Regardless if you love her or hate her u quite literally can't deny it since no one in this world has done what she's done even the ones that's tried to, failed. She is the definition of having true passion in what she loves, having unwavering ambition and drive to keep going despite all odds going against her. She also had this motherly energy towards her fans that I appreciate especially in her early days. She's always loved the barbs and continues to show gratitude. Learning from that I could take away to always be humble but don't ever let anyone step all over u either. Also she's probably the best I've seen when it comes to self branding yourself. Literally the situation with ice spice is a perfect example with the wigs and flow she did. Nicki has curated her aesthetic and brand so well that literally even the littlest change on someone such as pink or bangs or ankle inched black bussdown hair is associated with her and her brand. Now nicki herself may not have created these things and yes there were ppl before her who have worn pink and long hair but none of them actually made it there BRAND their STAPLE PIECE it may have been a moment but it wasn't a LOOK and that's what nicki did. After learning from that currently I've felt to go in the direction of making my own "princess self concept", a smaller version of her "queen" like nature. (Since rn I don't feel like much of a queen at all and see myself as a baby queen, a princess. Its not time yet)

Beyonce:

As a fellow virgo she too has perfectionism and I myself am a perfectionist. I 100% respect her work ethic especially when it comes to her performances. She continues to wanna top herself and not settle no matter the heights. Another thing is her gold aesthetic that I've felt more and more drawn to. It just screams royalty, that's something I've felt more and more called towards as well. She literally turned herself into a star amd made sure she shined the brightest. I love older vids of her where she always wanted remain as honest as possible and u could even see on some of her facial expressions when she knew some stuff was bs or just wasn't up to par. For that I have to respect that and her heavy keen eye to detail. She tolerated zero room for disrespect and this could be seen in her bow down record and though she said no name all the hit dogs hollered.

Kendrick lamar:

○Now I'm ngl, after the drake and kendrick beef its made me have a ton for respect for him as an artist but it also made me do some digging back in his old music. After doing proper thorough listens, I noticed his humble character and down to earth nature. After the battle, I was really drawn to his straightforwardness. He didn't play any internet games and didn't sugar coat either. That leads me to my self concept. More and more I find myself feeling good when I just start telling ppl like it is, where my boundaries are, where I am with this and that person. Not only does it makes things less confusing for the both of us but it shows that there is just some things that I'm not ok with tolerating and I will say it as many times as needed until u realize that. I also took note of how in his music he tended to talk about actual issues especially within the black community. As someone who expresses myself through art, that is something we have in common. Using our forms of art to heal ourselves and those around us by connecting through our problems and fixing them. For example, his song father time was him talking about his daddy issues ans his wife telling him he needs therapy. Though the song was technically about the men, as a growing young woman with daddy issues I related to the song heavily. This is the same with his unreleased song prayer where he continually used examples of separating the art from the artists and how we as ppl shouldn't be idolizing the celebrity and then stop when we see them doing something bad, the main point is that they are no better than us regular folks and still do bad things and make mistakes also, however those mistakes shouldn't be a reason u should stop loving there art entirely because if that was the case then no celebrities should exist because they've all done something bad in there lives just like we have. For that, I can takeaways the power of not just being aware of others faults but our own as well. He even admitted himself he still has healing to do and that's something I can relate to. The value of not staying the same and growing into your highest self definitely adds to me working on a growth mindset rather than a egotistical narrow minded one.

Sharpay Evans:

○ I'm ngl when i was younger i hated her. I thought she was egotistical, arrogant and messy. Now that im older i can see that she wasnt 100% that way at all, she was confident in herself and knew who she was and was literally oblivious to anyone who didnt like it. She had her own signature to everything as well thats how u knew it was sharpay whether u saw cute kitten heels, glitter ink pens or fur. Even on graduation she stood out with her signature SE hat. And her fashion was always top tier and iconic regardless of how stressed out she was from gabriella she didnt allow herself to go a day without looking good.

(Honerable mentions to Regina George, Elle woods, Cher Horowitz. My fav blondie girl bosses)

Marilyn Monroe:

○ Last but certainly not least is Marilyn Monroe. I think I've connected to her on a deeper level not just because of her manifestation story but also because I have the best connection to her when it comes to the way I feel about beauty. Beauty and being in the spotlight is something I highly struggle with, simply because it's something I daydream about so much whether it's imagining me getting plastic surgery or just me waking up one day with my dream life. Knowing that even someone who's considered the most beautiful woman in the world felt insecure in herself as well made me feel almost more human with myself and how I look and act. I did research on her years ago and found old vids of how she would talk about how much she'd study herself from her mannerisms to the way her hands moves to how she sounds to her facial expressions and so much more to give off illusions of things, even in her iconic walk I think she trimmed one of her heels to give the illusion of her hips swaying. She literally studied and curated her entire persona until she became who she is known as today. Even then I saw a few later vids of her and how sad she seemed in the eyes. This not only taught me more on self branding but also the importance of self love as well. I have a feeling had she lived a bit longer she may would've grown deeper into that. However something I could take away was the importance of enhancing your qualities of yourself the best way you can and that's exactly what she did

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Anyway that's all for now darlings I have so many things in store for the future and I can't wait to share them all with u guys!! Xoxo, Allurèa

[toomanyopinionss]

I want to talk about

Surviving Summer

(nonspoiler/spoiler)

hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏

So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.

I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??

As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.

I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy

7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.

SPOILERS

Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.

I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)

Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…

✨“summer have you seen yourself?”

summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.

immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.

but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…

you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️

anyone else? hmmm…

oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.

it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?

like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.

ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.

[thecluelessdoctor]

H… Hanabee SAS au? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

(Lmao im sorry if the SAS asks are annoying 😭)

:OOO their not annoying at all anon!! Actually no asks are annoying lol.

ANYWAY

She would definitely not understand it as first like- would not compute. 'a... kids show????' she would take it a bit literally and then go searching for actual children because.. shes not all that bright.

After she realizes what they meant she just kinda- stops working I suppose. I mean, everything had felt like they really happened!! Liek- everything with her family, her friends.. it was all a lie?? She definitely has a bit of a identity crisis, but it's soon resolved when she finds a new reason to keep pushing forward. everyone is always so stressed anymore, so, even if they don't want her help, she'll try and make them feel better. Or at least tear them away from their work (the number of times she would grab frank and lift him over her head laughing like a mad man is insane..)

Of course, that doesn't mean she doesn't mess up! Although the burden of her world not even being real doesn't effect her as much as some, she still definitely messes up. She tends to accidentally mention what her and the other neighbors have talked about to Wally, mostly because shes just trying to understand it, ending up in her being punished.

She's probably the second most punished out of everyone in all honesty. She's definitely gotten alot clumsier lmao, so she joins in on Sally's lessons. Though she doesn't like the fact Sally tends to yell at them, spefically Eddie. She's naturally protective, so she might get a little bit protective over Eddie when she does :')

Homes favorite punishment for her was to tear off her wings. But after a while, she just.. gave up on trying to have them fixed all the time. It was extremely painful when they were torn off, so she just.. stopped letting Poppy fix her. Poppy just patched up the holes on her back.

Anytime Wally asks what happened to her wings, she'll (try) and keep a calm exterior and say 'just a little accident, that's all. You know how I am!' and then.. move on. And Wally believes her. Why wouldn't he, his friends wouldn't lie!

Due to her being Howdys cousin (at least that's what she knows..) she trys to take care of him. She doesn't exactly know how to stop Howdy from drinking, aside from force which she's learned isn't the best way, so instead she just.. takes care of him when he's passed out, or deathly drunk. If it's during the day, she'll try and run the shop to the best of her abilitys (she isn't the best to say the least)

She also avoids it when the neighbors collab to try and sleep.. normally to the point we have Mr 'coping very well with my problems' dragging her out of the storage room. Although howdy doesn't even have any fake memories of her, she's the closest thing to family he has.

She tends to avoid the sleepovers not just due to nightmares or night terrors, but she can always feel the stare of that house on her, even more so during the night..

So, like you might think, even when everyone else is finally asleep, she's still awake, looking out the window to Wally's home, waiting for it to stir towards them..

She might be a bit more stressed, but she's still the silly (a little dumb) Hanabee we know

SAS AU belongs to @anonymous-paperbag

[vacantgodling]

18 for Jenna, 8 and 17 for the main tcol gang 👀

HENRIKE BELOVED <3 THANK YOU!

18. Quick! Your character has to accurately sing or recite something from memory! They only have one chance - what do they pick, and do they succeed?

oh she would fail this so badly--she gets like 'exam fright' so she's really not good at taking tests or recalling things on command by someone. she also can't sing bc of her flat affect (makes her voice Severely lack inflection so its like. literally the most flat singing you've ever heard, i care her) soooooo she's just not gonna do well.

that being said, she would probably try to recite the first chapter of her mother's spell book with all the basics of magic because she's been reading over it the longest (since she was 5 and learned to read) and she knows it by heart for the most part. she still wouldn't succeed tho, but that's mostly due to her exam fright ;;

8. Your characters have been invited to a fancy dress ball, and their costumes must fit a group theme. What do they wear?

PFFFFFF this is such a funny question and it would be such a mess to try and get them to cooperate on ANYTHING. mainly bc.

san is stubborn and if they don't like something they Will Not do it and if you try and force them they'll actually try and stab you with the knife in their boot. so whatever is chosen has to be something that doesn't ignite her inferiority complex, or make them feel/feel like they look stupid and they are very temperamental about that.

piper hates dressing up. the only things she likes wearing are armor and small-clothes (aka pajamas) so like. good luck getting her into anything fancy, its actually a fight that illiana and saith have to figure out later in the story (between books 1 and 2) LMAO.

deux is indecisive, but because she wants to make sure that everyone else is happy. she doesn't like to make decisions on her own like this because if san gets upset or if piper complains then she'll stress out about it.

forte literally does not care enough to voice an opinion.

clear would be super annoyed but it also gives him anxiety, so he would be trying to work to get SOME kind of solution but piper and san's stubbornness + deux's indecisiveness + forte's nonchalance would just be hell to deal with so he'd want to pull his head out.

THIS BEING SAID they would probably eventually come to the consensus that they should come dressed as different elements. deux would be air. san would be fire. piper would be metal. forte would be earth. and clear would be water.

their costumes wouldn't even be that complex just color coordinated and they would say they were elements just to get people off their back and clear would lament about the embarrassment for probably a month after the whole ordeal. he's someone who tends to get hit with anxiety attacks after the fact LMAO.

17. One of the characters in the group has been replaced by an evil doppelganger. How does the group figure out who it is?

THIS IS SO FUNNY

san -> if she's ever nice, ever agreeable, and ever lets piper take the lead on ANYTHING they're all immediately calling bs

piper -> if she hasn't laughed at her own jokes, or is quiet at all. piper is literally never quiet. ever.

deux -> she would probably be the trickiest one to tell if she was replaced by an evil doppelganger just bc deux is so good at playing the middle of the road for a lot of things. but i think the person who would figure her out would be clear, and it would be if she ever showed any signs of Not being into forte, or refusing/brushing off any affection to or with forte. he'd know immediately that there was something wrong, he'd just have a whale of a time trying to convince everyone else.

forte -> second hardest to tell, but if he showed cockiness, or a lack of compassion for any reason the bs would be called.

clear -> if he's forward and confrontational everyone would be calling bs. this is actually funny in theory because clear can be confrontational, if he needs to be, he's just more anxious esp around the rest of the group so they'd all think there's something seriously wrong with him if he started going around picking fights.

[sevicia]

& recently I have been realizing that I feel a lot like a robot not in the way that I am smart or emotionless or anything like that, but that I NEED to be told what to do, how to do it, all in clear instructions with little room for ambiguity when it comes to most things. I have only been able to learn things by myself by observing others and the way they behave and taking mental note of what I see most often to consider it normal so I can repeat it. Yet I still fuck up all the time and it makes me feel stupid and worthless because I just can't do what everyone else does and I don't know WHY and I get so frustrated that I want to cry and kick and scream but I can't do any of that because it's not NORMAL‼️‼️ I just wish I was like everyone else I don't even care about snuffing my "personality" out in the process because it's not like anyone cares or like I'm likeable in the first place or like I'm special in some way, there are literally SO MANY people like me‼️ And I have talked to my therapist about this very lightly because she goes "but what do you consider normal?" and I don't even know how to explain it like?? regular? functioning? not treated like a freak by everyone? not called stupid at every turn? able to do most things with minimal to no help????? HAVING COMMON SENSE?????????

it's the worst because like half the time when I fuck up I get called an idiot and the other half it's like "oh you're always so silly here let me do it for you because I don't think you're capable on your own" which I understand I do I fuck up so much that you don't want to give me another chance I just wish you could trust me!!!! I wish you could believe what I say and not doubt my judgement because you're making ME doubt MYSELF and it's messing me up even further.

it feels comforting and disturbing all at once to always be coddled/have things done for me because I am seen as uncapable. my friends + sister will hold my hand in public spaces because they don't want me to get lost and they regularly call me a baby or say that I'm innocent/harmless/too naive and idk I know their intentions are good but it still feels wrong but I don't know how to argue for the way I feel because they're right, I can barely do anything by and for myself and I don't have the guts to purposefully harm anyone even if I want to

and the fact that I feel I need to defend/have an explanation for every little thing I do is because of this, I am always being questioned on why I do the things I do and it's so stressful because I end up never doing what I really wanna cause I'm scared I won't have an explanation when I get yelled at/questioned. that quote about living a toothless life. me if I had teeth at all

[rin-and-jade]

hey I'm from the same system as 🌺, and I wanna add some stuff because unlike her I'm not blind to the abuse.

we are homeschooled so when the verbal abuse happened there wasn't anywhere else to escape to, I remember I used to literally hide behind things when I was younger.

I didn't learn to read until I was 10, and I'm dyslexic and autistic and dyspraxic and dyscalculic. so I absolutely suffered in academics for basically my whole life, my mother used to sit down with me and watch me stare at the work in front of my face and then yell at me because I didn't do it. or I messed up, or any slew of things fuck.

I was undiagnosed for autism for literally most of my life, I only got diagnosed when I was 13-14. so for a long long part of my childhood I was berated, yelled at, given the silent treatment, not comforted when I needed it and other stuff.

this is definitely because of her upbringing, and generational trauma. she's better now, but the damage has been done. and if I ever tried to bring this shit up now she'd just call me a liar, she loves to call me a liar.

after I learned how to read, I basically had to learn how to spell and write myself. I preferred it that way, because every time she try's to teach me stuff it always ended with me crying and her yelling.

oh I didn't even mention all the "talks" she has given me, basically telling me to "shape up, you're not doing anything with your life." when I have no freedoms? the digiverse is my only freedom, has been since I was a kid. I try to talk to her about my interests and she waves me away, though its gotten better. I still am not sure about her claims.

I literally can't go out by myself, I'm 17. I'm literally going to be 18 in a couple months and I've to this day never been on a trip somewhere on my own, I know I'm a bit oblivious at times. but I've always wanted that in my life.

maybe I'll get it now when I go to Tafe in person, and meet people. god I fucking hope.

I went through a lot of medical trauma from being hospitalised as a 6 month old because hot tea spilled on me, to asthma hospitalisations and more.

all under the age of 10 mind you, I've always been the "problem" child. mostly because of all my medical issues, and developmental issues. my addiction to YouTube, and screens in general. is it an addiction when it's literally the only thing that stops me from bursting into tears?

I didn't have friends for most of my life, and the ones I did. I only saw them at most once a week, most of the time it was once or twice a month until they grew tired of me.

I've had nice things, but all I really wanted was someone to listen to me. I used to literally wish everyday for most of my life, its only stopped now because I have AN ACTUAL FRIEND. and I'd kill everyone and then myself for him literally. (I'm referencing a meme)

but I was lonely most of my life, I love my siblings but its just not the same. I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings because they'd just tell mother.

once I had a friend group on this game, Cat game (that's literally what they are called.) and I was happy. a bit stressed because of drama, but it was nice to have someone who listened and cared.

I'm tempted to go back, but I just can't risk it. my family thought they were groomers, those people were more likely to be groomed then be groomers. I'm not dumb, I still feel bad for my abrupt departure.

but at least they know I loved them dearly, if like I mentioned any of my moots. or the fact I talk so outwardly on the internet they'd ban me actually ban me forever. and I can't let go of my one healthy coping mechanism.

I don't think I could ever tell them shit about my mental state, especially after the shit show that was lena trying to get us actual help. I still want to go to therapy and a psychiatrist, but I'm worried I'm just going to be abused verbally and emotionally more.

and right now, it's way less.

if they knew I considered myself trans, or supported nonbinary people or just most of the different gender identities. they'd tell me I'm wrong and they would have seen it, or that nonbinary people are doing it for attention.

why the fuck would I do any of this shit for that? I want your unconditional love, and support for my struggles. not that fake bullshit!

I have problems and I just want to help them, and nothing I do is good enough. I'm this disappointment half the time.

there was this one time. (maybe more) when my little brother was having a meltdown, and screaming. my mother's blood was boiling honestly, and she was yelling at him to "SHUT UP" "STOP CRYING FOR FUCKS SAKE" and such. she threatened to pull over and leave him on the road, a common threat of her's. and when his screams and cries got louder, she pulled over into this parks parking. and told him either he was to "SHUT UP, OR GET OUT." he didn't and he got out of the car, or was taken. either way he was outside of the car, I was crying and telling my mother to "STOP" and let him back in, I was 7-8 when this happened. and he must have been 3-4, and my little brother was crying and crying. and my mother had enough of the insubordination, and started to drive away. I started screaming then to go back for my brother, *I'm not sure which one it was, but it was one of them. and she kept driving, and driving.

I think she circled the block twice before letting my brother back in, but that was traumatic.

this sorta thing was why when I had my first suidal thought it was to open the car door and fall out, because I couldn't TAKE the verbal abuse that happened in the car.

I had depression I think, I had depression for most of my childhood.

but now, I feel happier. not because of anything that's happened in the real life, but the comfort I got from here. the internet.

there's many many more times I could talk about but I'm tired, I'll tell you more later.

but she's not good, I don't know if she's ever realised. but I just cannot be mad.

from me

Pop

That sure was a long story, read it word by word, i definitely relate to the bad treatment and threats i also got from my own mother. Kind of glad you’re still here and had got better, i witnessed a kid being pulled outside the car and even punched.. not lovely.

Anyway, i care to listen in what you have to say next time, i consider myself a great listener if anyone needs to vent too and whatnot,, and come back next time bro.

- j

[in--somnium]

((I feel like Cassia comes across as really sweet for a couple of reasons- the most obvious being that her dad is also very kind and he instilled that on her from a young age. Like... her mom isn't great (and actually never wanted kids in the first place ^^;), but her dad did his best in raising her and she carries a lot of his selflessness and such with her for that reason.

But it's also that... She's spent almost her whole life having to learn to self regulate. She got her first powers when she was really young. Like, so young she doesn't even actually have a memory of NOT having them. Her parents found out about her abilities when she was barely 4 years old because she was telling them about a dream she'd had that was actually a dream her DAD had and she'd just been dream-walking, she just didn't know it. (She rarely has dreams of her own and it took a long time to not accidentally dream-walk all the time. Even as an adult, when someone else's dreams are really intense or she's been stressed out for the day, she does it without realizing). So this girl has lived, as far as she's concerned, her whole life with magic abilities in some form or another. Dream walking, inducement, and manipulation came first. Then she showed signs of telepathic abilities which lead into her being able to manipulate emotions and, eventually memories to some degree. And, more recently, her telekinesis, which used to be fairly minor, has gotten really out of hand - her powers are ever expanding as she gets older which makes it hard for her to keep control of them all. And, as with a lot of powers, hers are affected quite a bit by her emotional state. Realistically, she hasn't got the greatest control of her telekinesis, for example. When she's stressed out sometimes things will tremble around her or items will fall off of shelves or walls for seemingly no reason. If she's in a really bad state, then it can get more dangerously out of control. (Recently, actually, even more minor stressors can cause bigger reactions because she has less control of her telekinesis overall.) But if she can stay grounded and calm then she can keep it under control, focus that energy inward on herself instead of projecting it outward and causing chaos. Then there's the fact that she can manipulate emotions, too. So she's had to be careful about how intensely she's feeling things because there have been times when her emotions have been so strong and she's been so out of control of her powers that she's projected them onto everyone around her. (Her parents divorce, for example, left not just her a fucking mess, but she realized that she was projecting that hurt and frustration and guilt on her entire class when it welled up too much and got out of hand. And because different people react to different emotions in different ways, it led to a classroom full of out of control kids. Some of the kids were crying. Others were fighting- like, literally fighting. One had a full blown breakdown and had to go home because she was in such a state of disarray. The teacher had to call for help because she was so overwhelmed between the chaos and the grief she was feeling that she couldn't manage the class. Cass went home early that day because she realized what was happening and it stressed her out so much she literally had to run to the bathroom to throw up. And soon after she went home... things started to calm down.) So what I'm saying is she is almost always actively trying to keep her mindset in check, trying to stay rational instead of emotional, keep a positive attitude even when she wants to scream, because she knows she could hurt someone (or herself) if she's not careful. And I just feel like that's a really important thing to consider about her character. It's not that she DOESN'T get pissed off easily (in fact, I'd say she gets frustrated quite quickly and is also prone to holding grudges, sometimes even to the point of pettiness), it's just that she knows if she lets things get to her, she won't have as much control.

It also doesn't help that she hasn't had all of her powers from the start. She's gained some new ones as she's gotten older, and with each new ability comes new hurdles. New things to be aware of and worried about. She tries to take it a step at a time and not stress about it constantly, but when she feels herself getting a bit out of line emotionally, she has to correct herself. So... yes, she's a sweetheart. She's my little ray of sunshine. Sweet baby girl. But it's not just because she's always, naturally, like that. It's a choice. It's an attempt to keep herself together. It's not an act, necessarily- she really is very sweet- but it's something she often has to actively maintain so she can keep control. She has, of course, learned better control of some of her powers (and her father has been helping her to train with her telekinesis because that's one of his strongest abilities- though he can't help with a lot of the more internal things like her emotional / memory manipulation because he doesn't have those abilities). That doesn't mean, though, that they don't get out of hand sometimes. It also doesn't mean that she isn't often worried about losing control of them.))

[fridgrave]

Ok so, I know you're not the biggest fan of Ethan, and from what I can tell it's mainly stemmed from Rogue Nation and Fallout (mainly fallout, but if I'm wrong forgive me, I'd love to read more about your opinions they're really interesting).

What was first thing that made you dislike him, and do you have any thoughts on what Tom and McQ could (but won't) do to redeem Ethan in your eyes? What they could do to redeem anything that they've messed up in the movies they made?

(No problem f you don't care just thought it would be a good discussion)

wow that's a real question here 😳

and before I'll tell more about my dislike to ethan i must notice, what when i just came in this fandom two years and one month ago i loved ethan. i was a benthan stan, i made content with them (fics and art), and it was fun!

i was a 18 years old liberal girl with no idea how world is really working, i was much healthier mentally than now and my life was much easier. i had no need in everything — and i had no need to change my mind in such questions as "why countries can't be just friends so people like me would never die in different conflicts and wars". i can't say is that ignorance a bad or normal thing, it's up to you to decide, but I'm thinking all the people don't mind such things before it's touching them. we have too much other problems to think that globally while everything else is okay, but when it's bad you want to know why.

but I'm going too fast. even if my life was okay in 2020 i always had this... unifying theme in my art and other mind activities. it's inner potential. i always thought and still think what i'm nothing. i don't bring anything new or good in this world, so every character who became my blorbo got from me this inner conflict about this "changing the world" stuff — and yet me myself is not in my villain arc, all my blorbos are intended in good deeds as well (i like to think what i'm a good person, you know,,,). benji, whom i kinn A LOT, had this potential. he really is a guy who just wants everyone to be okay, he cares and tries his best, but he's not perfect as ethan and has some common sense. when i came in m:i fandom i knew what most of franchise audience sees benji as a comic relief while he's not worse than ethan, even more interesting sometimes — and much closer to a viewer because he makes mistakes. actually, benji is a viewer in some way, he helps to make movies more real and touching

i was... offended by it. i wanted benji to be in focus as he deserved, so i started to think: what did go wrong? my first thought was his conflict with solomon, what could be the best part of fallout and a great boost for this boring monotonous garbage, but in fact we had one dialog line between them and one unrealistic (but still stressful, not gonna lie) fight in the end. i wanted more. more tense between them, more of benji's trauma. i didn't ship them yet but i felt what this bond between them is more real and catching than between lane and ethan. why? because now i see what mc and cruise had no idea how to write a real fighter with a system. they make solomon a casual terrorist, what is a disappointment, because all his conflict with ethan now sucks as well. mccruises tried to make one type of an antagonist, but if you understand at least something in world-system theory (as real system fighter SHOULD understand) you would see what lane's deeds in rn do literally nothing to bring any changes. you could see more my thoughts about it in my recent fic "on the sleeve".

so, i started to think about benji and solomon and their conflict more, putting ethan on a background. i still liked him, but started to see that lanedunn dynamic what turned into other my fic i never finished (insp by the inheritance with simon)

and then, at summer of 2021 me and my bestie grisha came up with idea what trembled me a lot: after solomon the best antagonist for ethan would be benji. it started from benji's love to ethan, what benji was tired of government and how they treated everyone — and especially ethan. but, thinking about this consent we realized why this works and doesn't work in the same time

this was the moment when i saw the most huge ethan's problem. he never changes.

me and grisha understood what benji's side is logically right. what agencies like cia make things much worse than people they fight with, and while ethan is on their side he's wrong (i met grisha thanks to the show "person of interest what has that m:i vibes but much much cooler and it talks on such themes as government crimes, check this out!). so we had a problem: or on our story benji looses what is a bad end, or ethan dies or something — but never changes his side because he can't to this. i talked about how he never changes and i'm too tired to write it again on english, а на русском вы читать не будете.

that was solomon's time. we started our syndicate au, but with shipping benji and lane we needed to work on syndicate as an entity. we took the idea what mccruises wanted to put in it and made it real, so a bunch of terrorists became a solid organization what has a goal to bring a real revolution in this world

i started my way as a communist. my life was getting worse as well and i saw how capitalism is dangerous for the most of the people. i was thinking about it, but after 24 of february it became clear as a day for me

how is this connected to ethan? well, it's harder to say how it's not

tom cruise is a billionaire producer, and every single idea in mission impossible comes through his point of view: point of view of a white rich american man. he's connect with usa government just like his character ethan, but while hunt runs over the globe and fights with bad guys tom cruise uses his money and influence to make such movies like m:i and top gun which whole idea is simple: usa always wins. usa are good guys. usa sending their agents into other countries without any permission because usa knows what's right and what's wrong, like it was in iran, vientam, syria and other countries. usa has the best airborne, the best army and technology. i can tell this for a long time, but it's not necessary — all of you saw this in hundreds of movies. all i said is not a secret

and ethan is an embodiment of this capitalistic system. perfect american man who never lose. ethan always knows best, whatever his friends say, he can find a way in every situation, can beat a guy who's smarter than him with no reason and explanation, can return to life even after deadly experience

and since i realized this i hate ethan. he's not even a character — he's a system itself. the system i'm against of. i have no respect for him, because he has no value as just a character. he is a mary (marty?) sue made for one reason: make you believe what usa is good and cool one. for 6 films cruise didn't gave ethan nothing more than some epic scenes. no personality, no growth. and if tom cruise doesn't see ethan as a character — why should i?

[upsidedowngrass]

ok so abt the amelia thing i mentioend in the tags of the other post? im thinking abt making a companion fic to the one i just posted but also i wanna preface it w some ideas abt amelia i think abt sm that kinda get undermined by other characters (even as a local liam fan i STILL need amelia in my life you know)

a lot of times? shes just written as Nice. and thats it, unless shes ALSO being portrayed as like... doting on liam and bryce and like im sorry but i dont think thats quite accurate. she IS kind, and she DOES care for her friends but i feel like this compassion gets SUPER oversimplified

the thing is, people make her revolve around the others, and i think there IS some basis for this; she cares abt the others a LOT and tries her best to help!! its a part of her character. but what people miss is that she DOESNT tend to act selflessly like constantly. she spends the first 6 episodes asking and trying SO hard to be up for elimination despite everything, even when stone makes liams team be up for elimination- but the thing is that i dont think not being selfless means shes selfish either, which i think is also overlooked (it CAN be inbetween). shes acting actually not unrealistically in this situation, she wants to be safe so it MAKES SENSE that she doesnt really think abt bryce or liam going home and tbh i think thats ok. shes under a lot of stress. the fact that everyone was divided into teams likely didnt help either

but then comes ep 7, and the fact that she loses the contest on purpose to get liam home i think overshadows this? and like she is 100% such an mvp here and i think she is literally so kind bc yeah liam Has gone thru the wringer at this pt. but this scene isnt Revealing that she Actually Wants To Look Out For Them Above All Else, its... very realistic guilt. a LOT of how i see her character i think revolves around guilt that i never see ppl portray her w

the thing is that i dont think she likes to see ppl unhappy, as very frequently shown and explained thru her helping the others! shes the one who is frequently shown looking out for others, and this IS bc shes very compassionate!!!! but i think it is partially abt the fact that it 1. is smth she can control, its smth she can DO, and 2, that if she doesnt help it kinda seems like it eats at her? helping the others during those 7 months WAS about caring abt them!!! and its just also that when ppl she cares abt are struggling , it helps her, too, to help them, yknow?? like its One thing that can make the plane more Safe and comfortable, and bc she DOES look out for people, but this IS often when worst comes to worst- shed help before that, yeah! but i think before it gets REALLY bad its easy for her to get overwhelmed with her OWN problems. this is only pushed to the extreme when the only thing she CAN do to make living on the plane bearable is to forget everything before it and embrace it, and subsequently, pushing those problems on the wayside, its a LOT easier to help others

as for the guilt, i feel like the scene in ep 7 is abt compassion but also about. SUCH heavy guilt. its not her fault, but she was also the only one who was Actively Aware of the fact that liam would sink, AND able go down there. and i think thatd mess with ANYONE. and the fact that suddenly this person she Couldve helped before Couldnt Be Comforted because she Couldnt Stop The Worst From Happening kinda like. Got to her. in ep 7, it isnt that things "revolve around liam," now, its the fact that she feels GUILTY. now looking back at every competition she tried to have HER team lose seems like just another instance she couldve stopped him from drowning before it happened. its extreme guilt, because blaming airy was easy, but airy doesnt budge, and all she has control of here is potentially helping others, and its like she failed, and she wants soooo badly to make up for it, because she already cared abt liam, but now theres also guilt around the fact that she DIDNT act selflessly because it WAS smth she could do. and it fucks me up so much

[selene-moonie]

Brunch - the mindset shift

We all love brunch. Or maybe that's just me with the bottomless mimosas and breakfast food. Point is, brunch is great, and when you go, the goal is to have a good time.

Now, once upon a December, ya girl was a people pleaser. Shit was hard for her because she kept trying to make everyone else happy, ignored her boundaries and didn’t take care of herself.

Obviously, that wasn’t the vibe. How am I supposed to be living my dream life if I’m a slave to everyone’s whims? I couldn't. I wasn't.

Anyway, I was scrolling through tiktok early 2022 when I found a girl talking about how being a bimbo allowed her to not stress as much, and being a brunch friend was cool.

I took that and expanded it a bit. How could I apply this kind of thinking to my whole life?

How would I respond if I were to look at every situation as a brunch situation?

Now, before we even get into that, we need to know what it really looks like.

What exactly is Brunch?

If we remember, when you go to brunch, all you're there for is a good time. If your friend wants to tell you about how her life is a mess, you listen, but you're mostly having fun. Let her vent out her frustrations, and then when brunch is over, you go home and she has to resolve her issues herself.

If we take that into other situations in our lives, it could look like you not allowing the fact that your romantic interest hasn't reached out to you as yet trigger you.

Or, instead of feeling upset that there's a crackhead on your side of the street, you cross the street and keep walking.

Brunching, at it's core is about choosing when to expend your energy on events and situations in your life. By knowing when to put on your helper hat, you reserve your energy and time for the things that are actually important to you.

Perks of brunching often:

You have more time for yourself You stop taking things personally

You can spot bs faster, which allows you to choose whether to engage much earlier

You feel empowered because your energy isn't being bled on useless shit

You allow others to rise to meet you

You start feeling more comfortable with yourself

And a whole lot more

My best friend used to live with his verbally abusive mom, and prior to brunching, he'd panic a lot about everything she'd tell him.

After practicing brunching for a while, he said, "Bestie, I'm not stressed out about her anymore, even though she's still doing the same shit."

So, how do you brunch?

First things first, if you end up in a situation where you don't know if brunch applies, here's what to do:

1. Assess the situation.

- Is this your responsibility, or your business? If yes, deal with it appropriately, if no, move onto the next step.

2. Determine whether reacting would really help you or slow you down.

- Do this even if it feels uncomfortable, especially if you're used to reacting all the time.

3. Look the other way and move on.

- Quite literally this emoji 👀, then you move along with whatever you need/want to be doing at that point in time.

Example time

1. You're online and someone tweets something highly controversial. Would it be helpful to you to engage or not? You decide not to, so you scroll past it and avoid wasting 20 minutes of your day, as well as not getting angry about things you disagree with over a stranger on the internet.

2. So your manifestation hasn't shown up yet. It's nearing the time that you need it. You could panic, or you could remind yourself that you're a powerful manifestor and focus on living your life in the 3d as best as you can. Even though you haven't seen your manifestation as yet, you aren't letting something that isn't your responsibility (figuring out the how) trigger you.

Side Effects

Some of these were listed in the perks section of this post, but here are some others.

It may be uncomfortable....

especially if you're accustomed to people pleasing, or everything triggers you. As you do it more often, you'll notice that you feel more empowered, which can be scary, because you'll start connecting to your natural self.

You may immediately feel better...

Because you chose yourself, that may have been just what you needed to stop feeling so emotionally exhausted.

You may lose close friends and family

and this could be because they enjoyed how available you had been before and then don't like the fact that you're not as free for them.

You may strengthen your relationships with close friends and family

people who value you will respect your boundaries.

Prior to brunching, I used to visit my friends all the time to hang out. When I told them I was tired of always being the one to visit them, and that I wanted them to come see me, two of them did, and two of them did not. Guess who I still talk to?

Some people rise, some people, don't but most importantly, you've chosen to keep yourself feeling comfortable instead of stressing about things you can't control.

Brunching is a romanticized way of taking better care of yourself. Have fun with it, or don't, just vibe because you deserve to have peace of mind.

xoxo

Your favourite daughter of the moon,

Selene 🌚

[astronomy-two-worlds-apart]

okay idk how to even begin explaining how stressed out i’ve been and how close i am to crying. well how much i’m crying now

i feel like such a failure i’m gonna fail probably a few classes and like. i just suck. two projects. one was due in school like physically and the other is due in less than 3 hours from typing this. i’ve had all afternoon and done nothing but sit on the couch and do nothing. my teachers already question my work ethic and i’ve been told it sucks by some teachers. like what am i doing.

i’ve been having sleep issues meaning i can’t sleep half the time and the other half of the time i���m in bed by 9. awake by 3 or 4 but still. what the hell.

i try to eat enough but jesus eating meals really sucks. it always feels like i’m eating too much food and i’m gonna be sick. i don’t usually have like stuff or time or want to eat throughout the day either. and like my mom keeps saying “oh you have to eat or you’re gonna get sick” which yes i know but i’m not not eating as a form of self harm im not eating in a i will be sick way.

which speaking of being sick i literally have so much anxiety over that lately. there’s flu strep covid and god knows what else going around and yes i wear a mask but it still stresses me out so much to think that i could get sick. there’s always people coughing and sneezing from being sick. like they’re out and then they come back still a little sick and it makes me paranoid.

and of course there’s more academic issues bc failing to turn in projects is only one of the concerns. i have to take 5 or 6 finals next week all in the span of two days. two fucking days for 6 different tests. about 4 different reviews that i have to start and complete before the testing days.

i have to go to the store for multiple things, so money spending when i know for a fact that’s something my parents are stressing over and the reason why i purposely avoided telling them about the band disney trip money payments and stuff until it was too late. so they wouldn’t worry about like 3000-4000 dollars going to that in the next 4 months. am i upset bc i don’t get to go to disney and it was a trip i really wanted to go on? yes but i also don’t want my parents having another thing to use against me if i fuck up so they don’t spend money and i can’t get blackmailed win win i guess.

oh and a christmas concert on tuesday. and no the music doesn’t sound good. he’s gonna call a surprise sectional probably monday after school after the dress rehearsal and then get pissed when people can’t make it. he’s lowkey an asshole for that too so everyone’s gonna be upset over that. and it’s his fault for passing out music two weeks before the concert knowing damn well there’s other stuff going on.

i keep accidentally ignoring all my friends and feel bad for telling myself “i don’t actually care. like yes to a certain extent i care about everything they’re saying bc they’re my friends but at the same time i don’t as much as i should.” i keep like almost sabotaging myself and my life and it’s such an issue.

holy shit. i’m tired. i just need to have a way to exist outside from society. people are tiring. living is exhausting and i’m not even doing it properly bc i keep purposely/subconsciously messing everything up. why is it all just like this.

[i-am-a-secret-ssshhh]

As someone who will be finishing my first year of college in a few weeks, allow me to offer you some advice that I'm probably unqualified to give:

You don't need to go to parties to make friends. Your friend group might be smaller, but it's just as good.

Join clubs. It's not easy, and there may be scheduling conflicts, but it's usually a good way to make connections or have an outlet for some stress you're having.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from teachers and TAs (but if you are there are other people you can ask questions to, like classmates)

Your notes don't need to be neat. And they don't NEED to make sense to anyone else. My current Bio exam notes (that I'm supposed to be taking right now) are completely scatter brained, and probably wouldn't make sense to anyone but me, but they make sense TO ME and they're helping me remember and study.

If someone offers help, for the love of GOD take it. Please. Even if you don't super need it, you never know what kind of advice they may offer.

Talk to your roommate before you meet them in person at move-in. Even if it's just through social media messaging or texting, or even the housing portal. TALK.

Side-note to that last one: If you're an out-of-state student, it might be best to find an out-of-state roommate. I find most people who go to the college I live at are more than happy to ditch the college as soon as the weekend hits, so you might be lonely if you're an out-of-state student with an in-state roommate.

Communication is fucking key. To everything. With teachers, advisors, roommates, friends, significant others, even club members.

Take advantage of all the facilities provided man. You're paying for it, might as well use it.

This is targeted, but if you get into an argument with your friends, don't get your parents involved. Ask them for advice, yes, vent, yes. But don't let your parents get involved in your disagreements, it comes off as immature and childish.

Failing a class isn't the end of the world. It isn't fun, certainly. And you'll need to retake it, but it isn't going to end your time at college, and it certainly isn't like you're the only one.

If you don't want to go to office hours, at least at my school, they offer extra help for science and math classes in the library.

Try something new. A new hair color, a new hair cut, a new sense of style, a new style of makeup, a new activity.

Make the time study. It's important. It is, really. Everyone says that, but it is.

I struggle with that last one. I'll admit, I was homeschooled, so I literally didn't know how to study. I got help late into my second semester. But the fact that I reached out at all, is a major milestone for me.

Don't be afraid to go get food in your pajamas, or after classes when you're exhausted and look like a mess. No one cares. We've all been there. Trust me. If anything, the people you think are judging you are sympathizing.

Hyperfixate on stress relievers. Since mid-March, I have put over 24 hours onto a game I bought on mid-March. When I have nothing to do, and I'm stressed, it's really nice to just boot up that game and play it.

You will lose friends, just as much as you will make them. You'll make realizations about yourself, and about others. It's all a part of growing.

[r0ttingsystem]

Felt cute, might delete later :3 -G

a little (very long) vent from grian (co written by Lio because grian is dumb)

Technically collective vent too? Idk

Tw description of abuse (emotional, sexual), grooming?

I don't understand what's wrong with my brain

I miss her

And I miss how she made me feel

She made me feel so special

Which yea makes sense I guess because she borderline groomed me

But like

I miss the bad shit

I miss when she would make me go into crisis almost daily because she just felt like it (I'm being so fr rn, she would laugh afterwards) because when she did that it would 1) mean that we would be talking in call and 2) she would baby me and coddle me afterwards

I miss when I would have to beg and cry for her to not make me do sexual shit (which rarely worked btw) and I miss when I would cry and scream and fake orgasms so she would let me stop because I would have her full attention and she would care for me after

I miss her stressing me out so much that I would regress constantly (this was before I became permanently a little due to her, fun fact but I'm normally meant to be 14/15 and not 4)

I miss being put to bed

I miss being on call 24/7

I miss being cared for

I was happy, I would be constantly in fight or flight mode because she would get cold and sometimes threaten to harm herself if I didn't do what she wanted, but I was happy

I was cared for, only if I did what she said and didn't talk to anyone else, but I was cared for

She calmed me down after panic attacks, she would stay on call at all times and would do stuff with me, she would be there

Then she got cold

And left

I remember that night

I remember waiting her for to reply, looking at the chat like a dog waiting for its owner for literal hours

I remember my heart dropping when I realized she wasn't going to reply

I keep looking for her in all the people we talk to

I keep looking for someone who'll show the same amount of care she did

Even if they hurt me, they'll at least make me feel special

Nobody is like her, which is guess is good? I don't know

But that means that everyone is "cold"

And I keep feeling like they're about to leave

If they don't talk to me 24/7 they might as well leave right?

I know that's not the case but It feels like it

And it hurts so bad

So. Fucking. Bad.

I can feel my heart being ripped out of my chest every time I catch myself blankly looking at our chats, waiting for them to reply

It feels like that whole year is replaying in my head in one second

That that happens every day, multiple times

It hurts

And it's so hard to come to terms that nobody is going to love me

And I understand, I'm too much work, genuinely too much work

I'm too much

But I'm looking for love everywhere I can, but I won't find it

I know I won't find it

Nobody deserves to have to deal with the mess that is me

I'm GLAD nobody has to deal with me, but it hurts

I just want love

I just want to be cared for

But that's too much to ask for

I believe in soulmates, but I don't think mine exists

I'm beginning to understand that other people aren't "right person wrong time" or "wrong person right time" for me, I'm the wrong person, and it'll always be the wrong time

I wish I wasn't like this

I wish I didn't make all of us like this, so difficult, so complicated

I'm so sorry, to everyone

I'm sorry to my headmates

I'm sorry to my family

I'm sorry to my mom

I'm sorry to my brothers

I'm sorry to everyone

I'm sorry to our friends

I'm sorry to lilly

I'm sorry to eirhnh

I'm sorry to Connor

I'm sorry to jack

I'm sorry to angelos

I'm sorry to basilis

I'm sorry to valentina

I'm sorry to eudokia and despina and everyone else

I'm more then sorry to Comet-Collective, who's seen a lot of the uglier sides of me

I'm sorry

I'm sorry to everyone who's had the displeasure of talking to me

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

I wish I wasn't like this too

I wish I didn't exist too

I try to numb myself into not existing but it never works

I promise I'll find a way to make it up to all of you

I'll find a way to make knowing me worth it

Until then, I'm sorry