#and not being able to take a bunch of my meds or smoke is so rough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wisteriasxx · 3 years ago

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a/n: had this in the drafts since tfatws finished streaming and I forgot to post it but here haha

18+

Warnings: Weed, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex

Smoke sesh with Marvel characters 🍃

this one is for all my stoner marvel fans💕 just my thoughts on what it would be like to smoke with some of our favs✨

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Steve

Well considering Steve is a super soldier, he can’t get drunk or high..........BUT for the sake of this let’s just pretend he can ;)

It would probably take loads of convincing for him to even try the stuff

If he decides to try it, he’s only taking one hit.

High Steve is definitely just super chill, and really cuddly, he’s gonna grab you and just hold you for the rest of the night.

When it comes time for munchies he will literally eat anything, but his favorite snack when the munchies hit is Mozzarella sticks.

He’ll start talking about how things were back in the 40’s, including how crazy the youth is today with this stuff you’ve just given him.

Tony

We all know that Tony is KNOWN for being a party animal, so he’s definitely down for a lil sesh with the avengers

Tony definitely likes to drink more then he would smoking, but he’ll still smoke.

Probably owns a dab pen with indica for for his anxiety

Prefers indica but will settle for a hybrid (sativa and indica)

Gets really giggly and even more sarcastic when he’s high

Will not move from his current place of rest, someone will have to bring him food when the munchies come or he will complain the entire time

Favorite munchies food is potato chips

High tony will definitely accidentally start spilling your secrets in front of people, you might have to physically shut him up somehow

Thor

Will give you a funny look when you hand him a joint or a pen or whatever it is that your using.

He’ll understand that you smoke it, but he’ll think it’s just tobacco or something

Before you can tell him what it actually is he’s already taken a couple of big hits

Once you tell him what it is that he’s smoking and what it does, the only response you’ll get is “this tastes funny and it will have no effect on me because I am mighty”

Fast forward to ten minutes later of Thor being loud and laughing at everything and just being an absolute goofball

Will eat and drink everything in sight once the munchies hit for him

“Where can I get more of this midgaurdian herb!??!!?!!” He’ll yell from the couch

Like Steve, he’ll get grabby and just wanna hold you the entire time. If you’re standing he’s gonna stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you and his chin resting on ur head. If you’re sitting he’s putting his arm around you and pulling you close.

Definitely ends with him passed out on the floor

Natasha

When she sees everyone playing “puff puff pass”, she’ll roll her eyes.

“What are you guys in high school or something?”

She will insist that she wants nothing to do with it, but after tony makes some remark about it, she decides to prove him wrong.

After a hit or two, Nat becomes more comfortable, she becomes less uptight.

Likes to shoot out more sarcastic one liners then usual

Becomes very flirty ;)

She gets smiley but in a tired way

In fact, She doesn’t stay awake very long after she’s had a hit or two in her system, she gets too tired and calls it a night

By “calls it a night” I mean she basically droops onto you and refuses to move, you’ll have to move her if you want to.

Doesn’t get the munchies because she’s asleep before she can

Clint

Clint will take a hit or two, just because why not? He could use the relaxation

He’s super chill when he’s high, he keeps to himself

He’s quiet when he’s high, but that’s just because he’s vibing, he’s taking in the music or just simply listening to the nearest conversation.

Wears sunglasses the whole time because he doesn’t want anyone to see his red eyes

He doesn’t really get munchies, he just chills the entire time

You can’t tell if he’s asleep or if he’s just vibing

Will only give one word answers if you ask him something

Not the most fun to smoke with but he’s just chilling and minding his own business so he’s welcome.

Loki

Will look at you with irritable confusion when you offer him a hit

When you tell him what it is and what it will do to him he’ll simply ask, “why would I want to do that?”

He won’t do it in front of anyone, that would mean letting his guard down and becoming vulnerable

He will definitely try it later in private though

When he’s high, he’ll want you to join him

He’s still basically loki when he’s high, he’s just more relaxed

“This is quite nice I must say.”

There will definitely be a conversation about how he can’t believe this is what mortals do for fun

He’ll become a little more open with you because he’s more relaxed

He’ll become confused when the munchies hit, but after you tell him it’s normal he’ll go with it

His favorite munchie food is definitely popcorn

I’m gonna flat out say it, high loki has a higher sex drive

Gets lost in the moment type of guy

In his opinion, the weed helps him block out everything else except for you, and that’s why he likes it

His mischief meter also skyrockets, you thought normal loki was good at pulling tricks? Just wait till you see how creative high loki can get

Bucky

Bucky is gonna look at you like your crazy

Then he’ll remember that he is also crazy, and figures the weed might help ease his mind a little.

Bucky becomes more relaxed when he’s high, his guard has dropped a little, but he’s still aware of his surroundings.

He’s funnier when he’s high

Smiles more which makes you smile because you think he doesn’t smile enough

He still does the staring thing when he’s high, but it’s not as intimidating now, there’s a softer look in his eyes and a small smile on his face

Will open up a little more about his feelings towards you

After his first time trying weed, he’ll get some cbd gummies or something on a regular basis to help relax him

When the munchies hit for him, he’ll eat anything, but his favorite munchie food is anything Italian.

He just wants to cuddle man

Wanda

Wanda is surprisingly chill

She’s more open, more humorous, and even nicer.

her magic can resemble her current state of mind if she wants it to

So when she’s high, her magic becomes really pretty and elegant, like it’s in slow motion

In fact, she glows a little when she’s high

She’ll make her magic do pretty things for your entertainment

Due to her magic though, I feel that her high wouldn’t last very long

For her, smoking is just a quick little get away from her mind, something that just takes the edge off a little

Doesn’t get munchies

Prefers indica

Peter (quill)

He’s never had earth weed, but he’s definitely smoked and drank all kinds of substances through out the galaxy

Definitely likes sativa

He’s down for whatever, he likes to try new things

He’ll complain about the taste, but then love the way he’s feeling in 10 minutes

He becomes very stupid when he’s high

He’ll turn his favorite music on full volume and just start doing things, he won’t be able to sit still.

He’ll try to do things to keep himself entertained, but he’ll be bad at doing them because he’s high

When later or the next day comes when he’s sober, he’ll look at the evidence of him trying to do whatever it was he was trying to do and be totally confused, but not surprised

When the munchies hit, he’ll eat anything he can find on the ship that’s edible

It will end with him passed out in some weird spot on the ship or wherever he’s at

He once got high and woke up cuddling with Drax-

Gamora

Will not smoke

The designated driver

The “chaperone” of the night

Sam Wilson

When you offer him a hit, he’ll be unsure and say something like “man I haven’t done something this stupid since high school, I don’t know”

But he says “screw it” to himself and takes a couple of hits

Becomes really smiley when he’s high, like the dude won’t stop smiling. It irritates Bucky.

Definitely will start singing out of nowhere, even if there’s no music playing

He’s also gonna tell crazy stories about his past, things from high school stories to military stories

He livens up the session for sure, after a few hits in, he makes it his goal for the night to make everyone happy and vibing along with him

When the munchies hit for sam, he goes straight for pizza. This man absolutely loooovesss pizza when he’s inebriated

Dr.Strange

Is obviously familiar with the substance

Definitely used to do it all the time in college (helped with the stress of med school)

Will question if it’s the best choice for everyone to be making right now

Most likely will not do it, it wouldn’t look good if the sorcerer supreme was getting high

You’ll ask him if he knows some kind of spell that can sober you up

He’ll tell you “yes” and proceed to hand you a water bottle and roll his eyes

He’ll do the portal thing above you and a bunch of your favorite snacks will land on your lap when the munchies come

He’ll take care of you once you pass out, carrying you to your bed or your couch or whatever and setting a glass of water near you before he leaves you alone

Scott Lang

Oh yeah, he’s definitely taking a couple hits

Prefers bongs

Prefers hybrid blends (sativa and indica)

This man knows his kush okay? Would not be surprised if he had a plug, or if he was the plug

Weed makes him more productive, he’ll start doing things and multi tasking, he’ll do anything from messing around in the suit to playing rock band

Chinese take out is this mans go to munchie food, nothing brings him greater joy then inhaling wonton soup or lo mein when he’s high

He’s bringing his friends too, there’s no arguing

Like Sam, he livens the session up

Somehow become bolder, dumber and flirty at the same time when he’s high

When he comes down though, he comes down hard, and sometimes literally.

He’ll pass out or fall asleep in the weirdest places, but he’ll be enjoying it and wake up feeling well rested somehow

Bonus cuz i think it’s funny ++

John walker

Will be all cocky about taking a hit, thinking it won’t affect him or that it’ll make him cooler or something dumb

Gets scared and paranoid

Starts literally tweaking and saying stuff like “they’re coming for me”

Freaks out because he can’t handle the kush in his system

Definitely locks himself in the bathroom and cries, calls Lamar to come pick him up

Ends up becoming a hazard for everyone, so Bucky has to knock him out cold

Will probably snitch on everyone for smoking just because he had a bad time with it and he’s just jealous that he can’t vibe correctly

#marvel #marvel mcu #the avengers #tony stark #iron man #captain america #the winter solider #the winter solider x reader #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #black widow #tfatws #wandavision #dr. strange #loki x reader #thor #thor x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel headcanons

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literaticat · 3 years ago

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This is the most champagne problem, I realize, but my debut is going to be a lead title at a major imprint, and I'm getting really nervous the closer we get to pub. I always hoped I'd be successful obviously, but wasn't prepared for anything like this. It's hard to comprehend on the scale they're hinting at. Have you had any clients who were majorly successful sort of suddenly? Do you have any advice on how to handle it based on their experiences?

I have! I really think you should enjoy every scrap of fun stuff that comes your way, relish it, bask in it take lots of pictures of cool stuff -- if you start to make extra money FOR GOD'S SAKE SAVE IT TO PAY YOUR TAXES.

Write as much as you can when you can, like in this "before time" -- because later, when you are hectically promoting your book and running all over creation, you will have a lot less quiet time to write. But guess what? People will still expect a next book! Hopefully an even better one than this one! But you'll have less time and space to write it! Sooo.... sure, give yourself a couple weeks after launch to promote and whatever but then figure out how to carve WRITING TIME into your schedule somehow, whatever that looks like for you, and keep it sacred.

This is going to sound like a downer and I don't mean it to be, but I think the main thing to realize is, regardless of how "big" this launches -- it doesn't actually change anything. Like, it might FEEL like things have changed -- but actually, not really. (And that's OK, as long as you know it!).

If you are in a bad relationship, or you are depressed or anxious or whatever -- sudden dramatic success is not going to fix it. You will still have the same problems, just now with more deadlines and pressure added. So please DO consider or continue therapy or meds or whatever solutions for the underlying problems, because 'cool book stuff' is not the fix your imagination might have told you it would be.

Keep your head on your shoulders and your feet in real life, rather than getting caught up in the Internet of it all. Definitely cherish your close and trusted writer friends -- but also, keep up with some real life friends who don't know or care what books are, who are perfectly happy to root for you but also won't blow smoke about it because they don't actually have an interest in the weird world of publishing. Spend lots of time with your family and go outside a lot.

Maybe your book will be a besteller -- but Bestseller or Lead Title status or whatever also doesn't mean that your book is ACTUALLY BETTER THAN any other book that didn't list or that isn't a lead title. I know you know this -- but the thing is, that some people (particularly people on the internet) will appear out of nowhere once you start to have public success and seriously start to pump you up. Suddenly you have a bunch of folks praising you or adulating you or talk about how AMAAAAZING your book is -- and while I'm certain (most of them) are legit well-wishers who have the best of intentions, they are also living in a fantasy world - don't let them drag you into it.

Being able to put "NYT Bestseller" in your twitter bio doesn't mean that you will even earn out your advance, or come close. You might - but it's no guarantee, even with bestseller status. It just means you sold more than other books THAT WEEK, it doesn't mean you are now rich, or famous, or life is better. It's just a cool thing, but in the scheme of things, is not particularly meaningful REALLY despite how people start to act about it.

In other words - Don't get a big head, because today's "superstar" can truly be forgotten tomorrow. There will always be ups AND downs in this business if you stick around long enough. NYT bestsellers still get rejections, authors with some hits still also usually have books that tank, and on the flip side, people who have been toiling away in obscurity will sometimes gets a hit nobody could have predicted. These are just facts. I rep several authors who have many dozens or even hundreds of books published over the course of decades, and you can SEE that success never looks like scaling a mountain that never stops going up, or scaling a mountain with an easy chair on top and just parking there -- it's hills and valleys and sometimes gulches and sometimes weird spikes (and sometimes you can be on a hill AND in a gulch at the same time!!!) -- anyway, hopefully you have good, sensible shoes.

So if you start with the realization that all the *fancy* stuff is just abnormal and not something PERMANENT, and that's FINE -- you're a lot less likely to have a difficult "pride goeth before a fall" moment, you know?

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going-dead · 4 years ago

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Phic Phight:Ghostly Inconvenience

Words:1672

@currentlylurking Team Human My First 2021 phic phight phic

Prompt from @Slyph-feather :Would love to see Danny dealing with some of the minor inconveniences/differences in being a ghost; slower heartbeat, sickly pallor, maybe not showing up correctly in photographs, etc... bonus points if this is like in the school setting (because I think that would be funny)

Danny thought he had all his ghost problems figured out, or at least was aware of all of them, at this point. Afterall he’s had his powers for almost a year now. He was wrong, oh was he wrong.

It was the first day of his sophomore year, no longer at the bottom of the high school food chain. He stood in line to get his picture taken for his school ID. Sam and Tucker had different classes for first period so they were off getting their pictures somewhere else. After a few minutes of board waiting it was his turn. Paulina skipped past him to get her ID and look at the picture she just took.

Danny told the photographer his name and she entered a few things into her computer before gesturing for him to stand in front of the camera. Danny tried to make a few last second adjustments to his hair. “Okay smile!” The camera woman called out as he was blinded by a flash of light.

Danny started walking over to the ID station but was stopped. “Oh hold on dear the photo came out pretty blurry I’ll have to retake it. It’s no big deal don’t worry you probably just moved too quickly after the flash went off, stay still after the picture is taken okay?”

Danny sighed but did what he was told. After another blinding flash and staying as still as possible Danny looked towards the woman. The camera woman bit her thumb staring at the computer in front of her. “Okay it still was blurry stay there I’m going to take a few at once one of them will turn out good.”

Danny was pretty sure at this point he was going to go blind as he blunk the spots out of his vision from the repeated flashes. Honestly this was getting pretty tiresome already. He walked up to the woman silently praying at least one picture turned out fine. She clicked through the photos face growing more and more confused with each one. “Uh is something wrong?” He asked.

She shook her head. “I’m not sure. Almost all of the photos turned out blurry and the ones that didn’t are weird.” She saw his questioning face. “You’ve heard of red eye right? What happens when you take a picture and sometimes the eyes of the people in the picture show up red? Well I can’t say I’ve seen this version of it in all my years of photography.” She turned the computer to face him more. On the screen it was a photo of him. The area around him was blurred, the only thing in focus was him, almost too in focus, and what really shocked him was his eyes in the photo. His eyes were glowing green in the picture, almost like when you took a picture of a cat in the dark.

Danny felt like a deer in headlights, what were the chances that she would make the connection of him not being human? The woman just shrugged. “Well it looks like we won’t be able to get a proper photo today. You can use your school photo from last year for your ID for now until retakes in a week.” He let out a sigh, it wasn’t too bad though he didn’t really look much different from the year before. At most he grew two inches. Though it was weird that it happened. He wondered if it was because of his ghostly half. He didn’t exactly take many or really any photos of himself. Danny walked over to the ID station to explain his situation and hoped that this wasn’t how the rest of the day would go.

During second period it was time for the sophomores to get their health checks done. Though most students were pretty sure it was mostly just an excuse for the local college’s medical students to get some more patient contact hours and hands on practice. This time he did share a class with his friends which was nice. Though it wasn't like they could go into an exam booth together. Calling them booths was a bit of a stretch though really they were just four curtains with equipment to take vitals and a chair inside. There were about a dozen or so lined up in the gym.

“Daniel Fenton come to booth five please.” A man called stepping out of one of the booths as he pulled a pair of gloves on.

Danny walked over to said booth and pulled the curtain shut behind him. The man motioned for him to sit down in the chair. Danny obliged and sat down he bounced his leg as he watched the man prepare the equipment. “Alright good morning Danny. I’m Josh, I'll be doing your check up today. It’s just a simple overview of your health no need to be nervous. All I’ll be doing is taking your vitals and checking your reflexes and the sort. Any questions?”

Danny shook his head. He was nervous though, he couldn’t help it. He had tried his best to avoid any type of medical setting ever since the accident. It would be the first time since then that someone actually took a close look at him. But it would probably be fine right? Not like he would be giving a blood sample here or anything.

It went fine at first as the man -Josh- checked his reflexes, checked his ears, eyes, nose, and mouth. He then affixed a blood pressure cuff to Danny’s arm and stuck a temperature probe in his mouth. Once the results appeared on the machines screen his head tilted a bit. “You usually run a bit cold? Hm your pulse is a bit slower than average than normal too.”

Danny silently cursed. “Uh yeah that's normal for me.”

“Well as long as it’s within your baseline there’s nothing really to worry about. I’m going to listen to your heart and lungs now okay? The stethoscope is a bit cold so be prepared.” Josh warned. When he started to listen to Danny’s heart he seemed at a loss again. “Give me one second okay? I’ll be right back.” He stood up and walked out through the curtain. Well that probably wasn't a good sign.

Josh returned a minute later with an older man in tow. “Danny, this is Dr. Bears he’s just going to double check something for me.”

Danny nodded his head giving the doctor an awkward smile. The doctor pulled out a stethoscope of his own and placed it over Danny’s chest. He seemed to listen for a few seconds before moving onto a different region. He gave a small grunt before motioning Josh over. “It’s faint but he does have a heartbeat.”

“Well I know that. He’s clearly alive, he's going to have a heartbeat Doc.”

Danny laughed awkwardly as he continued to watch the two interact. “Try listening again. You’ll probably have issues with the mitral and tricuspid regions though, even I could barely hear it.” The doctor motioned towards Danny before walking out of the booth.

A few minutes later a bunch of other medical students filled into the tent to try to listen to his heart beat. Danny wasn’t sure how he felt about being a case study for a bunch of med students but as long as they didn’t figure out his secret he wouldn’t worry about it too much.

By the time the bell rang to signal the end of the period half the college students there had listened to Danny’s chest. After emerging from the booth he was met with confused looks from his friends he waved them off promising to explain it to them later.

By the pattern that was emerging Danny was dreading third period. It was english with Mr. Lancer. After everyone took their seats Mr. Lancer stood in front of the class and clapped his hands to bring the classes attention to him. “Alright class I hope you all enjoyed your summer break. I have exciting news for this school year. Due to the grant given to our school we now have laptops for you all to use during class.”

The class broke out in whispers and Danny started to have a bit of hope for the rest of the day. Once the laptop cart was wheeled in and each was assigned and passed out to each student they were instructed to make accounts for them. The moment Danny turned the laptop on it gave him a shock. He let out a yelp and barely managed to restrain himself from knocking the thing off of his desk. He shook his hand trying to dispel the pain. He gave the laptop a hesitant poke, no shock. He started on his task of making an account, but was quickly interrupted by the screen glitching out. Danny groaned, occasionally electronics would bug out around him if he was in a particularly sour mood, of course it had to happen today. He waited for the screen to return to normal before trying to continue.

He just managed to get the account created when it gave him another shock. He yelled in shock once more. Immediately after the lights flickered and all the laptops in the room shut off and the one in front of him started to smoke. The whole class was staring at him and he shrunk under their gaze. They all had bigger problems though as his laptop caught fire and set off the fire alarms.

“Great Gatsby! Everyone out of the building now!” Mr. Lancer yelled ushering the teens out and leading them to the parking lot.

Once Mr. Lancer made sure they were all accounted for Sam elbowed Danny in the ribs. “Nice going Danny.” Danny just put his head in his hands and groaned while Tucker pat him on the back. Why couldn’t he just have a normal life? Or just a normal day for once in his half life.

#Phic Phight #phic phight 21 #danny phantom #team human

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haikyuu-sins · 4 years ago

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Hiiiii! Since you are in the need for Law request I have plenty lol He lives in my head rent free 😁

So since Law is a Lowkey fanboy for ninjas what if on Zou when everyone met Raizo they met a kunoichi med! Ninja and Law was instantly infatuated with her. He’s impressed with her medical knowledge and her special medical techniques, and wants her to join his crew. And while traveling to Wano they get a little close in such short time that he doesn’t feel he can just forget about her. If that’s too much or too descriptive I apologize and feel free to cut whatever if it is too much.

Gimmie all the requests!!! And too much??? Too descriptive??? Oh my gosh I LOVE when there’s a lot of description!! It makes it so much easier and a lot more fun to write when I know exactly what you want and frick, I absolutely LOVE this ask!! I have a feeling I’m going to have a lot of fun writing this one so I’m sorry if I went overboard with it 😅 (I’m also not a doctor so forgive the misinformation if there is any, I’m just making shit up lol) update: I went overboard.

*****Law x Med Kunoichi! Reader

“Raizo, seriously, you need to calm down.” you tell the ninja who’s in chains because of how upset he is. “I get it, but the mink are fine now. I healed them the best I could and there weren’t many serious injuries.”

He was still on a tirade or yelling and crying but you just ignored him and kept him company. You just sigh. There wasn’t much you could do to help him. “Now you just need to shut up.”

There was yelling coming down from the stairs in front of you along with the sounds of multiple people sprinting. Were... they yelling ‘Ninja?’ It didn’t take long for multiple people that you didn’t recognize to be right in front of you.

There was a gasp. “Raizo is a woman?!” a man with a straw hat shouted, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

“Um, no, that’s Raizo.” you pointed to him.

All of them seemed to physically deflate when they heard that. “Wait... are you a kunoichi?!” the long nose yelled.

They were all shouting out rapid fire requests and you couldn’t even get a word in to tell them that you were the medical ninja. But hearing everything they were saying, you couldn’t help but smile and laugh. The little reindeer was asking if you said ‘nin nin’, another was asking you to hide in the ceiling and get stabbed with a spear, while someone else was asking for the shadow clone technique.

“Nin nin?” You had to put your hand over your mouth to cover your giggles. “Stabbed with a spear? Goodness...Is that what you think of us?” Looking over at Kin’emon and Kanjuro you saw that they had strange looks on their faces. It was cute hearing everything that they thought ninjas did and they were eager to see it all. “You should be asking Raizo to do all that, I don’t don’t have the energy for it right now. I’m the med ninja and I’ve been helping with healing the villagers...and there’s a lot of them.”

Law’s ears immediately perked up at the mention that you were a medical ninja.

“Which reminds me, I should be doing some more rounds for the minks who were more seriously injured.” you sighed and stood up from your spot.

“Would you mind if I came?” the man with the tattoos asked as you walked past them.

“Sure! The extra company is always nice.” you smile at him and he follows you up the long set of stairs out of the tree. “So you were curious about the shadow clone technique?” You glance over at him and he doesn’t exactly know what to say. He doesn’t want to sound too eager if he says yes, but if he says no then he won’t be able to see it. You can tell that he’s trying not to be excited and it makes you chuckle. There was a quick hand sign and another one of you popped up in front of you.

“Hello!” your clone smiled and waved at him and you could see his eyes widen, and then a small smirk. She poofed away in a puff of smoke after the introduction. “Oh and also, we don’t say ‘nin nin.’ I’m not sure where you heard that one.”

His shoulders drooped slightly and you could see that he almost looked disappointed. “Oh…”

“What was your name? I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier with all of the commotion. I’m (Y/n).”

“Trafalgar Law.”

“Is this your first time on Zou?” you ask him, opening the door to the room where your patients were.

“Yes, I’ve heard a lot about it, but I wouldn’t have been able to get up here to see it.”

“That’s a shame. There’s tons of medicinal plants on this island that you can’t find anywhere else. I assume you’re a doctor since you wanted to come with me? You seemed pretty interested when I said I was a medical ninja.” you sat down next to one of them and began your work.

He was surprised by how perceptive you were and he nodded as he watched you diligently heal the minks. Your hands glowed a light blue color and they moved up and down to where they were injured. Law heard you sigh heavily and he wondered what was wrong since he couldn’t see anything. ‘It must be internal.’ he thought to himself.

“It’s internal bleeding that I can’t stop with just my healing. I’m going to have to do surgery. Can you grab me that?” you asked him, pointing to a small tin that was on the shelf. Law picked it up and opened it wondering what you would be doing with a balm. “Don’t smell it!” you warned him. “It’ll knock you out.”

He slowly put the cap back on it and handed it to you.

“It’s from the leaves of a certain mix of flowers here. I’ll show you after I’m finished.” you smiled and took it from him as you spoke to your patient about what you were going to have to do to him. “Come here.” you motioned Law closer to you. “If you want to watch you’ll have to be a little closer than that.” Law did as he was told. When you had the mink smell the balm, he almost passed out immediately. “They have better noses than us so this works much more effectively than it would on a human. It still will though so you have to be careful.”

He took all of the information in that you were giving him. He had never seen the techniques that you used. What was even more baffling to him was that it wasn’t even because of a devil fruit. They were all things that were taught to the medics at a more advanced level. The way you only used a finger to cut open your patient was incredible. He didn’t know how you did it, even when you explained it to him because it was something that he knew he wouldn’t be able to do. You could generate heat in your fingers that were hot enough to cauterize a wound.

What would have taken a normal doctor over an hour to do, took you about 10 minutes. Then you went on to the others who needed your help. They didn’t need surgery but he watched you in awe. It looked so effortless on your part, other than the fact that you looked a bit out of breath now because of how hard you were working.

“Oh man, I need to sit down for a little. Then we can go out and I can show you what I collect when I’m here!” you smiled up at him as you went over to a chair and plopped down, resting your head on the wall and closing your eyes. “I don’t usually get this tired. But having to heal everyone who was injured- including Duke and and Catviper who were really hurt-it takes a lot of energy out of me. It’s worth it though.”

The two of you talked about everything and nothing while you rested. You told him more about ninjas to which you had all of his attention and about Wano and what exactly to expect when they all got there.

“Are you going to be coming with us back to Wano?” Law asked as casually as he could.

“I would assume I am? I mean I could always go back on my own though if there isn’t any room for me! I came here by myself anyway, before Raizo. So I do have a way back.”

“There’s plenty of room, don’t worry. It’s probably too dangerous to go back on your own anyway after the attack.”

“What, do you think I can’t take care of myself? Come on, I’m a kunoichi! I don’t have this sword for decoration. Or do you just want me to be safe?” you tease him with a smile.

In truth, he wanted you to teach him. You had so much knowledge that he didn’t. “I just-”

“I’m just teasing.” you smile softly and stand up. “Are you ready? We can go now. I’m rested enough if you want to get some herbs for your trip.”

He rolled his eyes at your first comment. “We can wait until you’re fully rested if you want.”

“That’s okay. There are some flowers that only bloom at night so we have to cut them off before they can close back up. It’s best to just go at sunset and get the others that you need first.” you grabbed a big bag and already started to walk out the door. Law quickly followed behind you and the two of you were on your way.

In the few hours that you and Law had met each other, you already felt like you had formed a kind of bond with him. You showed him all the different leaves, roots, and flowers that could be used for a multitude of things.

“I can teach you how to make a bunch of things when we’re on our way back to Wano if you want?” you asked hopefully, just wanting to be around him more.

“So you’re coming with us?” Law raised a brow and tried not to smirk at you.

“Well you insisted on it so I guess I have to!” you joked. “But yes, I’d actually really love to come with you. I-I mean with everyone!” You stammered, face turning a bright shade of pink while Law just smirked while he put some flower stems in the bag.

Not too long after, you and the others left on Law’s submarine. It was nerve-wracking at first and you’ll admit you were terrified. Being with the others you knew wasn’t that bad though. You were introduced to the StrawHat Pirates before you boarded and got to know Robin a little better. She was sweet and knowledgeable. But Law was the one you spent the most time with. Even if there wasn’t a reason, you made one up. You’d ask him random things, just went to see what he was doing, or showed him some of the extra things you’d made for his infirmary. You would just say that you made more than you needed but really you were just making it for him.

Law knew more than anyone on the sub that he wanted you to stay so he made sure that you got along with the rest of the crew. You wanted them to like you so you had Kin’emon help you make some traditional dishes from Wano. On one of these days, you went to find Law so he’d be able to try some before the rest of the crew ate it. He was of course in his office working on some kinks that needed to be worked out before they got to Wano.

You knocked on the door and he told you to come in. “Hi Law~” you smile and go to his desk and put the bowl of red bean soup on it. “I had a feeling you’d be in here for dinner so I wanted to bring you some food before it ran out or got cold.”

He sighs and leans back in his chair while he runs his tattooed fingers through his hair, obviously stressed about what’s to come. “Thank you.”

“You know you really should relax. Even if it’s just for a few minutes. I understand that you’re under a lot of pressure right now, but stressing about it is just going to make it worse. You’re better off taking a break and eating some of the soup I made.” you grin and push it closer to him, encouraging him to try it. “Come on~ I wanna see how much you like it! I know you will!”

Law accepted your offer and took the bowl. You watched him with raised brows and an expectant look on your face as he took a sip of the soup . “Well~?”

He wanted to melt in his chair at that moment. The feeling of the hot soup ran down his throat and calmed him unlike anything he’d felt before. He’d never had this before but somehow it reminded him of home. “I’m deciding whether I want you as my cook or my other doctor.”

You tilt your head to the side, your brows now scrunch together and your cheeks flush. “What...what do you mean your cook or other doctor?” you had a feeling you knew where this was going but you wanted to make sure.

“You know exactly what I mean. I mean, you should join my crew.”

You thought about it for a moment. “Would I be a pirate or a kunoichi? ...Because I do like being a kunoichi...and would I have to wear that outfit everyone does? I like my kimono that I have on.” Truthfully, Law did too and he wouldn’t mind if you continued wearing it either, he thought you looked nice in it.

“You can be whichever. If you want to keep your kimono on to pay a sort of tribute to being a kunoichi, you can do that. I don’t mind. I get it, it’s what you know and what you grew up with.” It was your ninja way.

As he spoke, your smile only grew wider and you couldn’t believe what he was saying. It was exactly what you wanted and you were so glad that he brought it up to you since you thought it might be inappropriate to ask him yourself to join his crew. You just wanted to be around him and you were hoping that he would feel the same.

It was strange. Law had never felt this much of a connection with someone in such a short amount of time. But there was first for everything and he didn’t mind this first.

“Of course I will!” you just wanted to wrap your arms around his neck, hug him tight, and not let go. “I was kind of afraid you weren’t going to ask...” you say to him sheepishly chuckling.

“Oh were you?” He takes another sip of his soup while raising his brows.

“Yeah...I really like spending time...with you. It’s been nice getting to know the crew too. I’ve had a lot of fun with them so far. Now I don’t have to worry about being sad when you guys have to leave Wano and missing you-missing everyone!” you say the last part quickly.

“If you were going to miss me then you should have just said something.” he smirks at you.

Rolling your eyes, you’re tempted to push his shoulder, but he has hot soup and you’re not going to spill it on him. “Oh shut up and eat your soup before it gets cold. Captain.”

Now that’s something Law can get used to hearing you say.

#one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar law headcanons #trafalgar law scenario #trafalgar-law-headcanons #law scenario #trafalgar-law headcanons #op trafalgar law #one piece headcanons

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nebraska-is-a-myth · 4 years ago

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innocence never lasts - crime au

I’m back boys with another part, were getting closer to war time now dudes. This takes place before part 3 just if you wanted to get a better understanding of the timeline.

part 1 & 2 & 5

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Wilbur came to town on an invitation from the masked man himself

Dream had enticed the brit with promises of riches and power, and he already had connections within the city so really what had he to lose

Wilbur was supplied with a small team, he was in charge of one of the larger drug trades and production companies on the east side of the city. His job was to eliminate any competition and regain complete control of the eastern drug exchange, how he did that was completely up to him.

However, when dream sent a duo of teenage criminals to his door, Wilbur was less than impressed

“Dream, how do you expect me to run a drug cartel when two thirds of the cartel are fucking children”

“You'll figure it out dude, I believe in you.”

“No this isn't an ‘I believe in you’ situation dream, they aren't even allowed to drink in this country let alone kill a bunch of drug lords that by the way, are probably predators!”

“Admittedly, yes, they are a little young. But Tommy is one of the best kids I know, everything he knows he either learnt from me or the blood god himself.”

“Wait?” Wilbur moves his eye in front of the peep hole in his front door to inspect the blond on the right. “This Kid is technos?” He watches him pull a face at the shorter boy before punching him in the arm.

“Yup.”

“And you're okay with that?”

“It's a long story but yes.”

Wilbur looks back through the peephole at the smaller of the two and distantly hears “What if we just stab him” through the thin wood of his door. The older brit shakes his head and turns back into his living room

“And who's the kid threatening to stab me”

“Friend of Tommy's, I think. And don't worry about the stabbing, it's probably his way of saying he likes you or something.”

“If any of these kids die it's on you green man.”

“I can live with that.”

When Wilbur opens the door again, Tommy has his head in his hands and sighs as Tubbo puts a knife to his throat.

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It's a week in and Wilbur has considered shooting the both of them more than he would like to admit.

He's not really one for killing children, but he's not a fan of being outnumbered by the little fuckers. So to make it even he calls up some of his contacts in the city.

He almost regrets it immediately when Tommy asks who the furry is

Wilbur tries to hide his laugh when the blond boy says this, but in the child's defense, Who the fuck wears a fox mask

Fundy and Eret get along fine after their first meeting and Wilbur is just happy he doesn't have to sit around and listen to Tommy and Tubbo argue over who can fit more breadsticks in their mouth without breaking any on his own anymore.

The drug business continues under Wilbur's power and surprisingly, no one dies. They take down competitors and pump out more and more supplies to companies that are willing to pay higher prices than ever. He hates to say it, but maybe he's glad he took this job from Dream

That is until Tommy almost punches his front door down at 1am covered in smoke and blood, Tubbo barely breathing on the porch next to him.

Wilbur panics and shoves the both of them in the back seats of his car, instructing a shaken Tommy to put pressure on Tubbos wounds as he floors it to the nearest hospital. He can deal with the repercussions of running red lights after he comes up with a plan to get through the hospital without being noticed. Sure maybe Wilbur wasn't on anyone's radar yet, but Tommy definitely was, and who knows how many people Tubbo has actually stabbed.

Dream has to have some sort of protocol for something like this, a secret entrance or a codeword or something. He reaches to grab his phone from his jean pocket and swears as he realizes he left it on charge on his night stand, looks like he's on his own for this one. He can do this, just focus and fucking drive Wilbur

When he gets to the hospital he parks right out front in a place where he definitely isn't supposed to be and helps Tommy and Tubbo out of the car and practically has to carry the brunet through the front doors. As soon as he walks in he knows people know, they've been on the news more than once and it's not difficult to keep up with the city's most wanted list these days, but Tommy's limping now and he knows the adrenaline is wearing off so he drags tubbos bleeding body up to the front desk and swallows his pride.

“Help them, please.”

The woman at the front desk looks Wilbur directly in the eyes, sees the way tears are building there and switches her gaze between the two younger boys.

“Please.”

The woman takes a breath and nods. “We need help here.”

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A few hours later when both boys are patched up and on the mend the doctor lets him in the room. Tubbo is out and hopped up on pain meds, recovering from smoke inhalation and a shrapnel wound on his left side. Doc said it looked worse than it is, he was only out to let his chest ease up a little. Tommy's wounds on the other hand were a little more permanent.

He’s sat on the bed next to Tuboos watching his chest rise and fall. There were bandages wrapping around his left leg, a mix of shrapnel and soft burn marks underneath, and his right arm is in a sling meaning he wouldn't be able walk on his own for a while. Wilbur sits next to him but Tommy doesn't stop watching Tubbos breathing.

“They almost put him on a ventilator.”

Tommy says it so softly, Wilbur almost doesn't recognize it was him at first. He's got a few stitches on his forehead where a purpling bruise blooms underneath, he almost doesn't want to know what happened. Almost.

“What happened Tommy.”

“What, not even gonna compliment my wheels.” He gestures to the right where Wilbur sees a small black wheelchair next to Tommy's bed and he tries not to choke on his breath. He hates being right sometimes.

Tommy sighs and closes his eyes, his head droops and Wilbur rests a comforting hand on the young boy's shoulder.

“It was one of the warehouses on the outer perimeter of the east side, Tubbo had asked me to help him take stock, it was already late and he thought if we both did it we could catch the last bus home together.”

He imagines the two of them dancing to stupid music and running around the warehouse playing tag or something stupid, it wouldn't be the first time.

“We weren't even halfway done before one of the alarms went off, didn't think much of it, smoke alarms go off all the time for stupid shit right. Didn't even reach the office before the first blast. Was a Molotov I think, probably what set the alarms off, no idea what turned the warehouse into a fucking bomb though.”

“Something exploded, don't know what but it got both of us. Landed on my shoulder real good. We ran to the back entrance, or as close as we could get before another blast went off, fucking ceiling came down on me. Hurt like a bitch but at least it's nothing permanent. Think I was out for a bit, not for long but long enough for Tubbo to hurt himself trying to get shit off me. ‘Rest is a bit of a blur to be honest, don't remember much between getting hit and ending up at your door.”

Wilbur takes a deep breath and shakes his head, it's not gunna help anyone if he starts getting emotional right now.

“Who would have done this.”

“That's the thing, I got a call about two minit's before the alarm went off from the master arsonist himself asking where I was. He never calls me will, not once. I didn't even know he had my fucking phone number.”

“Wait, why would sapnap want to blow up one of our warehouses.”

“I don't know, but Will, I lied. He asked if were were out on any jobs and I fucking lied I don't know why but I told him me and Tubbo were playing fucking video games at home, and not two minits later the place where I told him we weren't goes up in fucking flames.”

Wilbur sits in silence and looks between the two injured boys. He can't help but feel fury building in his chest, he doesn't care about the thousands of dollars lost in the fire, couldn't give less of a shit about Dreams fucking money. He’s angry that two teenage boys had been ambushed in an attack at a warehouse that his employer had promised were protected. God only knows what would have happened if Wilbur hadn't been home. He tries not to think about what would have happened if Tommy hadn't been there either, he stands and tries to get the image of Tubbo being trapped in that warehouse out of his head.

He grinds his teeth together in confusion and anger hopes to god Tommy's wrong.

“Where are you going.”

Tommy looks up and meets Wilbur's eyes, the young boy sees the fury burning in them, he knows the older brit is mad and to be honest, he doesn't blame him. He watches Wilbur walk round to Tubbos bedside and picks up his cracked phone, he doesn't mention the way he’s sees Wilbur's hands shake.

“Ill be back okay, I've got a phone call to make.”

#sorry for the angst guys #it only gets worse from here #this is supposed to resemble the bit where tubbos house is burnt down #its war time soon #tubbolive #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dream team #dreamwastaken #sapnap #arson #dreamteam #mcyters #crime au #eret #fundy

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years ago

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housemates with shiratorizawa

helloo!! new headcanon series here hehe. i hope you like this very long set of headcanons!

how you ended up in a house with these guys:

they're such a tight-knit bunch considering the fact that they've been living in a dormitory throughout high school

it was probs semi or kawanishi who suggested getting an extra roommate to help with the rent (tendou and goshiki are accident prone they need someone to help pay for repairs)

so ushijima made and put up an ad for an extra housemate. although he didn't disclose the fact that you'd be rooming with 7 other dudes

you were kind of desperate for some housing at this point so you just went with it

the person who greets you at the door is shirabu. but its more like he saw you, your bag, and went back inside the house leaving the door open

you stood there for a whole ten minutes before kawanishi came up to invite you inside

you're instantly greeted by goshiki and semi cleaning the house like crazy. semi was punching a couch cushion so that it looked an extra soft pillow

tbh the only normal you see are ushijima and reon. they're probs the ones who interviewed you to see if you were a good fit as their housemate

despite how weird your first impressions of some of your housemates were, you were still keen to move in

and then that's when tendou decided to come home from the pet shop with an iguana

living there:

you're roommate ends up being shirabu because no one else wanted to room with him (jk they all drew straws and he was lucky)

he's a pretty good roommate: clean, keeps to himself, doesn't play music too loudly

except the fact that he ALWAYS HOGS THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

the bathroom might as well just be his because it's FULL of beauty products. also shirabu takes a million years to get ready that at this point, everyone uses the downstairs bathroom

lmao y'all get your revenge tho by using some of shirabu's products when he's gone

its particularly you, semi, tendo, and kawanishi who like to do that

kawanishi: *walks past shirabu*

shirabu: bitch, did you use my fucking Splash of Pomegranate with Exfoliating Sesame Seeds: Rainforest of the Sun Bath and Body Works shower gel?

kawanishi:...no?

semi and reon are both roommates and are probably the most normal people in the house which is saying something

also idk why i feel like they both have a thing for scented candles but they're too shy to tell anyone

like,,, they have a closet full of scented candles and everything

reon: hey, want me to light up Spring Lake or Summer's Kiss?

semi: Summer's Kiss all the way

that's why they always keep their door locked and whenever someone knocks, they quickly snuff out the candle and fan the smoke out of the windows

you: whoa, why does it smell so nice here?

semi: ...air freshener

is kawanishi the only sane, normal person in the house? yeah, probably

he's the one who remembers to get groceries and buy toilet paper and shit and he's so happy he has you to help him out

the thing is though, he's a NOTORIOUS prankster. like, nobody suspects him because they assume its tendou who put packets of ketchup under the toilet seat but no, it was kawanishi

but his favorite person to mess with is his roommate: goshiki

okay goshiki is a Heavy Sleeper and one night you and kawanishi decided to draw criss-cross stocking marks on his legs with permanent marker

goshiki is an alright housemate. he's polite, does his assigned chores, rarely gets into your privacy

but oh my god every morning at 5 am he wakes up the entire house BY BLENDING PROTEIN SHAKES

you and shirabu considered soundproofing your room or chaining goshiki to his bed

ONE OF THE HOUSE'S GREATEST MYSTERIES: how does goshiki cut his hair?

tendou knows you've been dying to know why so one day he's all 'do you really wanna know?' and you're like 'HECC YEAH' and he takes your arm and brings you to goshiki's room

in there you find him with a bowl on his head and cutting along the rim with his scissors

shirabu is also with him but he has a ruler for his bangs

its the only time they ever get along

tendou and ushijima has hands-down the most chaotic room set-up

for one, half of it, ushijima's half, looks like a traditional japanese house

you know that scene in BNHA where todoroki was showing off his room? yes that one

y'all are like 'how was he able to bring tatami mats in his room?'

and then tendou's half looks like a weird-ass storage room complete with an iguana tank (yes he kept it)

tendou probs has those color-changing lights too

and the funny part about it is that both ushijima and tendou are completely okay with the set-up

also tendou has the most irregular schedule ever. like,,, circadian rhythms just wasn't installed in the being that is Tendou Satori

like,, he'll be making mac and cheese at 3 am and just enter your room asking if you want anything

you: WHY WOULD I WANT MAC AND CHEESE AT 3 AM???

shirabu, who's still awake because he's a med student: i'll have some

ushijima on the other hand has such a set schedule and daily routine. he's the definition of 'working like clockwork'

you guys even use him as your clock because why not?

you: guys what time is it?

reon: ushijima just left for his morning run so probably 7am

the only thing is that ushijima,,, generally doesn't cook??

and by that he likes to eat raw vegetables. no seasoning, no nothing

and he always offers to make people snacks and he does it so sincerely that you can't help but accept his snacks

*insert scene of you eating raw carrots at 11 pm while studying*

house incident: everyone being a closeted fan of Naruto

everyone in shiratorizawa is a closeted naruto fan (except for a few but we’ll be discussing) and no i don’t accept criticism on this

goshiki MAY have rock lee’s signature bowl cut and sometimes walks around the house in leg weights but he doesn’t say who he copies them from outright

but EVERYONE ELSE

you started having your suspicions when you walked into semi and reon’s room looking for a pencil and found semi sitting in bed with a pile of tissues around him and his laptop on his lap

you guys stare at each other for a while and semi just quickly yells “I WAS WATCHING PORN”

you: I DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING

my boy semi was actually crying to that part in naruto when zabuza and haku died

his roommate reon on the other hand has a secret tattoo

it’s a sharingan tattoo and its on his back, just between his shoulder blades, which is why he doesn’t go around shirtless (his favorite character is itachi don’t @ me)

reon probably owns an akatsuki cloak too

kawanishi has an ENTIRE playlist of the naruto opening and ending tracks that he got from youtube and converted into mp3 format on youtube mp3 converter which he then downloaded and organized into a playlist with the album art when he was thirteen

sometimes you’ll hear him whistling Ikimono Gakari and everyone in the house is all 👂👂👂

tendou is the only one not lowkey about it but he’s not lowkey about anything he likes

and then one day you and tendou are in the kitchen and ushijima decides to watch tv while eating breakfast

while flipping through the channels he comes across the rock lee vs. gaara fight and he just decides to watch while eating

tendou’s like ‘wakatoshi? do you,,, like naruto?’

ushijima: is this naruto? it looks pretty cool

AND THEN YOU AND TENDOU JUST AMBUSH HIM AND GO INTO A TED TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME NARUTO IS

while you’re busy ranting about it, semi, goshiki, and reon, who recognize the unmistakable Sounds of Naruto, creep downstairs

semi: oh, cool. it’s naruto

reon: yeah, used to watch it when i was a kid

goshiki: hmm, seems like an alright show

and then USHIJIMA LOOKS AT GOSHIKI AND THEN AT ROCK LEE AND JUST GOES

‘hey, you remind me of that guy’

AND GOSHIKI ALMOST CRIES

reon and semi end up sitting on the couch, trying to hold in their middle-school selves while watching

and then kawanishi comes in and he’s just like OH MY GOD NARUTO!!

now almost everyone in the house is watching. at that part when rock lee drops his weights reon and semi jump off the couch and cheer

they can’t hold themselves back anymore

last but not the least, shirabu, who came back from class, walks into the living room to find all of his housemates cheering and crying in front of the TV that’s playing naruto

shirabu: omg u guys are lame

goshiki, sobbing: WE’RE NOT LAME IF WE FOLLOW OUR NINJA WAY

shirabu: welL, OBVIOUSLY THE BEST FIGHT SCENE IS WHEN NARUTO AND ROCK LEE GO AGAINST KIMIMARO YOU UNCULTURED FUCKS

and then he runs up to his room before coming down with THE FULL BLU-RAY DISC SET OF NARUTO ALL THE WAY UNTIL SHIPPUDEN

basically you guys end up watching naruto all day and semi finally admitted that he wasn’t watching porn the day you came into his room

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh@charliefredb@dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts@applepienation@doodleniella

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seancekitsch · 5 years ago

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Prize Buck

I’m out of my hiatus. I was asked for Klaus Headcanons, wrote a smut fic after work today instead whoops

A/N: drug use, addiction, oral(m/f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap that shit folx), female or nb afab reader, thinking sad thoughts while doing sexy things, sorta sub!Klaus, mental health issues, roughness, unedited, i added a line that only makes sense if you read the comics

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“You’re seriously telling me you’ve never done this? You?” Klaus asks, bringing the bowl and the lighter closer to you. You hadn’t, in honesty. You were the worlds most casual of casual stoners. You’d roll a joint if the mood struck you; meticulously crafted and thin for the perfect little heady time. Or you’d take a hit from a bong at a friends house, only if they offered to smoke you out. Really though, weed wasn’t your thing, it just had to become a part of the routine now because there weren’t other options. You couldn’t get your normal poison, amphetamines, so feeling uncontrollably sluggish instead of uncontrollably wired was the new normal.

A non-committal head shake was all you could offer. He was right to be incredulous at that revelation. You had met in rehab, for god’s sake. Klaus had, no HAS, a lot of problems, some you watched him scream and sweat through during his first week in the room across the hall from you. You were the one that he woke up constantly, because your crash left you near coma and crying when you were conscious. Despite making your recovery hell, he was the only one you could talk to when the tears subsided. Before rehab, you were a a published scholar at the height of your career, working with a newly discovered artifact from an anthropology dig. You’d spent your career hopped up on all of the meds you could find, culminating this research, staying up for thirteen days before having a breakdown in which you break the artifact from shaking so hard and crash your car fleeing the research center with your writing.

Weed was new. It was never your thing. But Klaus was new too, and he was your thing. You’d become fast friends in group therapy sessions, and inseparable out of them. It was unorthodox and frowned upon, but you became roommates once you’d gotten out. Just a small studio above a shop. A couch and a mattress that you’d switch off sleeping on, or you’d just both crash on the flood a hairs breadth away from snuggling. But it was the option that worked. You’d both confided that true sobriety wasn’t an option. So instead of anything hard, it was weed and alcohol. This was something that wouldn’t kill you or get you sent back. Controllable. And maybe one day you’d be able to go into a different field. Get an apartment with an actual bedroom. Maybe he could be able to shut out some of his power. But for now, this is what would work. It was a transition that made sense to you.

“I just can’t believe you’ve never shotgunned a bowl. Don’t all the great writers have their little parties where they smoke each other out? Isn’t that how Mary and Percy had that orgy with Lord Byron?” You wanted to correct him that you were a disgraced anthropologist, not a writer, but his warm thigh nudging yours reminds you now isn’t really the time. You give a weak smile instead.

“I guess since you’re the only person I smoke with, you’d be the only person to shotgun me.” He scooches closer to you, earthy scent already working wonders to entrance you. You wonder if he knew he had this effect on your mind and body.

“So you’ll let me shoot you now?” He asks. You smile, a little anxious, a little toothy.

“Shoot me? What am I, a ten point buck?”

There’s going to be a great feat of self control to keep yourself from jumping the curly haired man next to you, and self control is not one of your strong suits. You were head over heels in lust with Klaus and you didn’t even know if he was into women.

He begins with an unceremonious prodding at the fresh ground bud in the glass bowl with his pinky. Then he flicks the gas station lighter once. Twice. A spark. The flame dips into the bowl and there’s a soft crackle that’s accompanied and fueled by Klaus’ plump lips wrapping around the head of the pipe. It’s almost obscene to look at and you find yourself shifting uncomfortably. Well, not uncomfortably, but not in a way that’s appropriate for this setting. There’s probably more than a slight chance Klaus knows you’re aroused, but he’s being polite about it. Even now, as his lungs are filling up with smoke, and he’s puffing out his cheeks like a chipmunk, there’s this ebbing and throbbing between your legs.

And now, for the shotgun itself. You know he’s blowing all the smoke in his body into your mouth, but the last thing you expect is how it feels to actually have his lips on yours. At first he’s methodical, a slow diaphragm push of smoke into your mouth, your lips parted slightly and drinking in the smoke as it comes. But no, that’s not enough; not giving Klaus enough access to deliver the goods. He makes quick work of parting your lips further by a harsh squeeze to your jaw. The way the smoke and his tongue invade your mouth does nothing to help curb the lack of self control you possess as you moan wantonly into the kiss. The shotgun. You could be addicted to this alone.

By the time he pulls away, you feel like a balloon in that you’re floating, and the hand you have securely placed on your roommates thigh is the only thing keeping you from floating out the window and into some electrical wires or into a tree for birds to choke to death on. You start low, reddened eyes looking from your hand on his thigh, up to his chest. Klaus’ chest is almost always bare. His arms and the muscles of his abdomen were littered with the odd scar and tattoo here and there. He told you they’re from fighting in Vietnam in the 1960s and France in the 1400s. When he said it, he was so earnest you could do nothing but believe him. Then your eyes travel a little more north, to his lips. He needs a shave; his mustache and his chin getting a bit too scraggly, but they tickled when you came together for the smoke. And then you finally meet his eyes, unabashed that you just drank him in like lemonade. His pupils are blown wide when you finally look into them; not something weed would do to you. No, this was something else.

“Another?” He asks, voice trembling and breathy, not above a whisper.

“I- I want more.” Your voice coming out a tad huskier than you intended, not masking how his actions had an effect on you. Your skirt feels entirely too open right now. If you were wearing jeans, or tight pants like his, you’d feel some kind of restraint. Like a chastity belt, you think, some real medieval torture. But it would be all too easy to lift this skirt, or even to shift your hips and grind against something for even a tiny iota of relief.

You don’t even watch Klaus take the hit this time, only turning your head back to face him when you hear him stop sucking. This time, he sets the bowl down before leaning in. Your mouth is open and ready for him, already a quick learner from what just transpired. So Klaus doesn’t grab your jaw this time. Instead, he grabs the hand that’s still resting on his thigh.

And he shoves it towards the crotch of his pants.

Where your open palm lands clumsy and hard against the hardness straining at his pants.

He groans as contact is made and almost coughs the rest of the smoke into your mouth, but you’re there to suck it down in stride. There’s only a quick pause for you to exhale this now twice filtered smoke before your lips re-attach to his, the bowl and lighter now forgotten.

His hand drifts to your jaw a second time, before sliding down further to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer, until it strains your back. He knows you fell asleep on the couch last night, so he knows how much this burns your taught muscles. All to his advantage it seems, as you shift your weight to your knee before turning and straddling him, all without breaking the kiss or your removing your hand from his clothed cock. Your skirt pools at where both of your hips meet, and he readjusts it -ever the gentleman- for you as you begin to knead and squeeze him beneath your hand.

Instead of smoke now, your mouths fill with the moans and sighs of each other, both refusing to end the kissing first and both running out of air. The onslaught of kissing continues through some under the shirt fondling, through Klaus less than gently pinching at your nipples, through you unbuttoning Klaus’ pants- now much too tight. He only breaks the kiss finally to beckon you,

“Stand up, I’ve got something else I want to show you”

Wobbly, you give his clothed cock one more squeeze before you rise to your feet.

While you move to reposition, standing over him now with your skirt bunched in one hand and your panties in another, he shimmies his pants down to his knees. All of your wondering if he was into more than just men is silenced when his tongue makes first contact with your clit. He takes the time to swirl his tongue tantalizingly slow, then quickly flicking his tongue upward, making your knees buckle until they land at the back of the couch just above his shoulders. You lean into it as he writes letters to you with his tongue, teasing the entrance to your cunt with his fingers and gathering the wetness until his fingers are slick.

You’re about to beg for it, cry for his fingers to penetrate you, but you don’t have to because he plunges in to the hilt. There is no easing into it, he thrusts his middle and ring finger at a break neck speed. Your skin feels white hot and the only purchase you can find is in squeezing the fabric balled in your palms and Klaus skewers you and torches every one of your nerve endings with his hot mouth and fingers.

Your high is coming to a head, literally and figuratively, when Klaus retracts all attention. You whine, pouting and pitiful, when he says something that surprises you:

“You’re gonna cum, right? Order me. Order me to make you cum. I’ll obey.”

So you do.

“Fuck— Klaus. Fuck! Make me cum. Make me cum on your face.”

When he returns to your cunt he’s unmerciful, working you back up to and through your high before you can even realize it’s happening. You barely savor it before you’re convulsing, sinking your knees further until they rest on his shoulders and he has to grab you by the ass to hold you up. You hadn’t been touched like this since before you had met Klaus, and you wanted more. Insatiable and prone, you make your next move untangling yourself from his grasp.

Sinking down, you feel the old wood creak beneath your stiff knees. This would hurt like a bitch, but when Klaus smiles down at you with his face covered in the wetness of your orgasm, you can’t find a reason to care. His smile is genuine, wide and splitting, the same look he gives you when you come home with pizza. Well, this was about to be better than pizza. The tip of your tongue touches the head of his cock first, a tiny testing lick earning a full body shudder from the man in front of you.

“Please don’t tease. Do a guy a favor. Please baby?”

You’re a sucker for his pleading, and just as he didn’t give you time to adjust, you don’t give him any warning before you sink your entire mouth down on him, only stopping to hollow out your cheeks when his tip hits the back of your throat. You hold it there for a moment, and then only gag as your lungs run out of oxygen. Klaus could be a substitute for oxygen, you’d gladly rather take him in than anything you would have tried before.

He whines, you notice. High pitched and needy. He would probably do anything I asked right now to cum, you think, but you quickly dismiss the thought. In a way you’re glad it’s you sucking his soul out through his cock and no one else, because he’s putting so much of himself into this. You wonder if he’s been taken advantage before. You hope not.

You banish the thought by moaning around the head of his cock. You revel in his reaction, to bury both of his hands in your hair as he all but sobs out “oh god please keep doing that” or something like that, you can’t really tell for sure over the rush his touch sends straight back down to your core.

As much as you want to worship his cock, your own tears from gagging on it start to sting your eyes. So you pull off him, just long enough to ask,

“Do you want me to finish you like this? Or another way?” Pausing to kiss the underside of his cock before adding, “You can have any part of me you want”

It’s like a flip switches, and he’s pulling you back up, pulling your skirt down and off of you in fluid motion, before you take your spot straddling him again. Impatient, he pushes you down onto him, thrusting away immediately finding a groove.

“Oh I’m gonna make you cum— gonna be real good for you. M-make you feel real good.” He’s a stuttering, groaning mess as he thrusts up into you.

“You feel amazing inside me. You’re doing so good, Klaus. Making me feel amazing,” you coo, doing everything to praise and encourage him. “I’m gonna cum, can you feel that? It’s all for you, do you want that— OH”

The thought caught mid air stopped short by a particularly accurate thrust right into a spot that makes you scream, your second orgasm of the afternoon now much closer than it had been. You feel your muscles clench as you bear down on him, trying to make Klaus hit that spot over and over. By the way his rhythm is almost non existent, you can tell he’s almost there too.

Something crosses your mind, and before you fully process the thought, one of your hands is wrapping around his throat, fingers and thumb squeezing deftly so that you don’t close the airway, but that he sees stars. That does it.

Klaus cumming is almost more beautiful than it feels. His cock twitches and paints your insides, and you cum from the sensation as well, but the blissed-out fucked-out face smiling up at you is to see heaven itself. His eyeliner is streaked with tears, his lips swollen and bruised, a smile splitting his face in two.

You move to get up, maybe clean yourself up, but at least put your panties back on. Klaus stops you though with his hands gently but firmly on your hips, holding you in place.

“Just stay. For a bit. I’m not one of those dames you can deflower and avoid their calling cards.”

A snort of laughter. A joke covering real insecurity; you can see right through it.

“Klaus, you were deflowered long before I ever got here, but I’m not gonna go anywhere. You shot me, I’m your prize buck.”

#my work #klaus x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves smut #smut #tw drugs #addiction tw #drugs cw #prize buck series

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iron--spider · 5 years ago

Text

there’s something wrong

Peter thought he would be happy, after he took the Goblin down.

It’s been a long time coming. Almost a year trying to figure out who the hell he was, then finding out and dealing with that shit, because who the hell can target Norman Osborn and get away with it? Tony helped, but Peter doesn’t like bothering him with stuff like this after everything he’s been through. He’s been through enough, and he doesn’t need Peter bringing more problems to his door. He brought him back to life, he saved the world, that—that should be enough. More than enough. Beyond enough.

The battle was five days ago, and Norman, being who he is, threw everything he had at Peter. They were at his Hell’s Kitchen power plant, and Peter could barely breathe, there was so much smoke from the overloaded stacks, and he was sure Norman was trying to blow them both up, end it in a fiery blaze with Spider-Man’s corpse emblazoned on the front page of the Bugle.

But, despite the damage to the suit, despite the massive concussion and broken arm they had to reset that night at the facility, Peter finished it. His eyes were burning and his mask was destroyed and Norman knew who he was, but he finished it.

But Peter isn’t happy.

The doctors said Norman might not wake up again. That set Tony’s mind at ease, knowing Peter’s identity was locked inside his decaying mind, but it made Peter’s guilt flare up like the fire did all around the two of them in the otherwise darkness of that night. He hates that he can’t help these people. He hates that they hate him. That they’ll never allow themselves to come back from what they’ve turned towards.

He thought it was that making him sick, at first. The guilt.

“What’s wrong?” Ned asks, from beside him on Peter’s bedroom floor. “Do you miss your girlfriend? I can’t believe you have a girlfriend. I can’t believe it’s Michelle.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Peter snaps. He tries to focus on his paper, but his hand feels like it can barely support the fucking pencil. “Leave me alone, I’m trying to do this.”

“Peter��”

“Ned,” Peter says. He sighs, and turns over, laying on his back. He drops the pencil and covers his face with his hands. “Just stop, please.”

“There’s something wrong with you,” Ned says. Peter feels him reach over and pat his head. “I know you’ve been through a lot lately. But you’re being snappy.”

“I’m fine,” Peter says, voice muffled.

“Maybe you should ask for an extension on this paper?” Ned asks.

“And what would my excuse be?” Peter asks. “Can’t tell him I almost just died fighting the Green Goblin, Ned.” Almost died. He’s exaggerating, but sometimes it feels that way.

“Could tell him you’re sick,” Ned says.

“Jeffords won’t care,” Peter says. “And anyways, I’m not.” He feels like his whole face is numb, and he sighs. He’s stressing himself out too much. “I gotta eat something. I have a bad taste in my mouth.” He twists around, pressing his hands to the carpet as he pulls himself to his feet. He hasn’t done much patrolling since the Goblin fight, only a couple nights here and there, but he feels like his muscles are crying out for him to take a big break.

“You just ate!” Ned yells after him, as Peter stumbles into the living room.

“Stop judging me!” Peter yells back. His mouth tastes like blood, but he’s definitely not gonna tell Ned that. There’s probably something wrong with his gums or something. Maybe he brushed too hard...this morning. Or something.

He sighs, and looks for chocolate, already planning on making tonight an early night.

“Just bring me something too!” Ned says.

MJ: Are you still feeling bad?

PETER: I’m fine, I’m fine, I promise

MJ: literally cannot believe you’re lying to me

MJ: you know I see through your lies we’ve dealt with me seeing through your lies

PETER: love that you’re concerned :)

MJ: that’s kinda part of my job description now, isn’t it?

PETER: i’m fine totally fine completely fine

Two days later, it’s…

Has it only been two days?

Jesus, Peter doesn’t know.

He can’t think.

Something’s wrong, but he doesn’t know what the hell it could be. He hasn’t been out anywhere, but his mind questions that, because he can’t remember. He can’t remember the last time he went out patrolling, what the hell happened when he did. He can’t remember shit.

His whole face feels frozen, and school is a complete and utter lost cause. He barely hears Ned when he tries to get his attention, and he doesn’t eat anything at lunch. MJ runs her hands up and down his back and it feels good but he can barely concentrate on it.

He shouldn��t be able to get sick anymore. He rarely does, now that he’s enhanced, and if he does it goes away within a day, at the latest.

Peter feels like Ned is talking to him one moment and then the next, he’s in the back of Happy’s car. He’s cutting in and out.

He leans down, bracing his elbows on his knees, and he feels like he’s shaking. He doesn’t know if he actually is. He feels like he’s deep within his body, small and broken and sad, watching as he falls apart.

Is this his guilt? Tearing him up? For Norman Osborn? It wasn’t this bad when Ben died. It wasn’t this bad when he almost lost Tony. Now he’s feeling guilt about his guilt and there’s a certain kind of sadness draping over him that he hasn’t seen the likes of before. It’s heavy and stifling and feels out of place, like it doesn’t belong to him.

He blinks and rubs at his eyes.

“Are you even hearing me?” Happy asks. “What the hell is going on? I’ve never seen you this out of it before. Well, on a normal day. And that’s assuming today is a normal day.”

Maybe Peter has to accept that something is going on. But what the fuck would be going on? He hasn’t done anything of worth since the fight—

—but he can’t remember.

And is that the problem? The fact that he can’t remember? Or is the problem that he did do something? And he can’t remember it?

His head feels like sludge. He presses his hands to his face and it feels like he doesn’t have a face anymore. Or hands. He shakes his head and his stomach turns.

“Okay, Peter, you need to tell me what’s happening, because if I drag you into the facility acting like this with no warnings for Tony—”

“There’s something wrong,” Peter mutters, and just talking makes him feel like he’s gonna puke.

Next thing he knows they’re not driving anymore, and Tony is there, peeling him out of the car. They’re at the facility but he doesn’t remember arriving, doesn’t remember half of the ride. Peter sighs, and can barely stay on his feet once he’s on solid ground, and Tony gets a good hold around his waist.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Tony says, close to Peter’s ear. “Jesus, he’s pale, Hap.”

“Something’s wrong,” Peter whispers. He tries to think back, tries to measure how this played out and where it started, but his brain pulls up blue screens, because he fucked up, because he’s been ignoring how he’s been feeling and how he’s been deteriorating each day—and what the hell did he do? What did he do, what was his mistake? Where did he make it?

Tony groans but he bends a little and picks Peter up—he’s got the iron arm now, so it’s probably easier—and Peter squeezes his eyes shut tight, turning his face into Tony’s shoulder as he rushes him into the facility. He doesn’t even have the energy to make a joke about being carried like a baby.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Tony asks, gently. “Tell me what hurts. And what happened.”

“I don’t—know what happened,” Peter whispers, his own voice rattling in his head like metal clanging down a well. “Mouth tastes like blood. Uh. Muscles weak. Hurts to breathe. Bad mood, uh, feel sick. Sad. Nervous. Been getting worse, day by day, but I’ve been—ignoring.” He sighs, hates how it sounds. “I’m sorry.”

“No sorry,” Tony says. “Just hold on. I’ve got an idea of what might be going on and if it’s that we gotta get on it stat.” Peter feels the terrain change under Tony’s feet, and he knows they’re getting closer to the side door. “Happy, call the Raft’s people and find out if Osborn is sick, please.”

“Got it,” Happy says.

Peter squeezes his eyes shut tighter and one of his arms flops down. He’s just exhausted. “Sorry I ignored it,” he whispers. “I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure what—”

“Don’t worry,” Tony whispers.

But he sounds worried.

They get Peter into the med bay and he wouldn’t exactly call what he’s doing blacking out, but more like stepping back. He retreats further into his head and everything becomes muted, because there’s so much going on and people running around everywhere and a fleet of doctors surrounding him and hooking him up to shit and his head hurts the more he pays attention. His senses are off. Loud then nothing. Everything out of whack.

Peter keeps his eyes closed.

“Osborn was trying to poison the both of them,” Happy’s voice says, somewhere in the ether. “There was goddamn mercury in the air, Tony—”

“I thought so,” Tony’s voice says, closer, grave. “Okay, okay, can we—”

“Yes, we can start—”

“Remember, he’s enhanced so things are different, things affect him differently, Norman probably thought of that—”

“It’s under control—”

Peter groans and tries not to listen. He doesn’t know how much time passes but he knows he’s being poked and prodded and given things and moved around and he doesn’t want to open his eyes.

He feels a hand on his forehead. Another on his forearm. He doesn’t open his eyes, but he turns towards the warmth.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Tony whispers. “We should have checked you for something like this when we were resetting your arm and checking on the concussion. Goddamnit. We didn’t think.”

“He poisoned us both?” Peter asks, trying to open one eye to look at him.

“Yeah,” Tony says, brushing Peter’s hair back from his forehead. “He’s dying. He got the brunt of it, a nice fucking cocktail of bullshit, including mercury and a bunch of other toxic shit—”

“Am I dying?” Peter whispers, voice breaking.

“No,” Tony says, shaking his head. “No, it’s—it’s not good, but we’re dealing with it. I’ve got some treatments on the way and they’re gonna help. You being who you are helps. It’ll be okay.”

Tears prick at Peter’s eyes, and everything still feels like it’s too big, burning, too much pressure.

“Tell me if you need to throw up,” Tony says, rubbing Peter’s arm.

“Did I throw up?” Peter asks. He watches as another doctor rushes into the room behind Tony.

“Yeah, when you first got here,” Tony says. Peter doesn’t remember, and he sighs, wishing this was all over, wishing it wasn’t happening at all. “Just tell me if you have to, okay?” Tony asks, and Peter nods. “I’m not going anywhere. I called May. She’s coming.”

“Okay,” Peter whispers, and his voice breaks again, horribly, a tear tracking down his cheek.

Tony quickly wipes it away, and he leans in, pressing a kiss to Peter’s forehead. “You’re gonna be fine, webs, I promise. I won’t have it any other way and I’m the savior of the universe so I get what I want.”

Peter blows out a breath. “Good. Be stubborn about this.”

“Oh, I’m gonna,” Tony says. Peter closes his eyes again and tries to keep his balance, even though he’s not fucking moving. “Try to sleep, okay? You’ve got a ton of people here working for you and I don’t wanna try to concoct the strong stuff to knock you out.”

“You’re gonna flush it out?” Peter whispers. “The poison?”

“Yes,” Tony says, gripping Peter’s wrist, fingers seemingly trying to track his pulse. “I promise.”

Peter does sleep. He thinks. He isn’t really sure, except for the dreams, in which the Goblin traces across the sky and spews out poison gas from his mouth. Peter remembers the news reports. Norman had a son. Peter can’t remember his name, but after all that, he doesn’t like the idea of him losing his father, too. Norman is insane, and an asshole, but his son doesn’t deserve for him to die. Especially by his own hand. Peter doesn’t like the idea of him living with that.

When he wakes up everything is a lot calmer, and darker, except for the one light beside his bed. He still feels out of it, but in a different way, and his mouth still tastes like blood. Metal.

“Baby,” May whispers, suddenly sitting on the side of the bed.

“May,” he says, still so tired. She’s fuzzy but it looks like there’s a halo behind her head. Maybe a light from the hallway. He sees Tony is sleeping in the chair by the bed, breathing through his mouth.

“You’re okay, sweetheart,” May says.

Peter glances up and sees that he’s hooked up to about a hundred different things. He’s got a nasal cannula in and it’s definitely helping with the not breathing shit. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize,” he says, softly. He’s so annoyed at himself. There was gas everywhere, at the power plant. Norman was obviously doing something. But Peter was so distracted. “I should have—”

“We should have realized something was wrong,” May says. “You were a little off, and MJ said something to me—”

“He did it like this on purpose,” Peter says, holding onto her hand. “Osborn. So we wouldn’t know...right away.”

May sets her jaw and then she shakes her head, leaning down and kissing him on the cheek twice in a row. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart. We’re here.”

Peter nods, trying not to think about all of it. Trying not to wallow in his own stupidity and guilt.

When he wakes up again it’s brighter, and Tony is standing over him, checking on his chart.

“Are they doubling the poison?” Peter asks. “Finally a way to get rid of the Spider-Man?”

“The Spider-Man,” Tony says. “The Iron Man. The Captain America.”

“Mine works, yours don’t,” Peter says. He glances over at the other chair and sees that May isn’t here right now.

“She’s downstairs making sure everyone properly puts your lunch together,” Tony says, reading his mind. He hangs the chart back up and sits on Peter’s bed, gently. “How you doing?”

“Okay,” Peter says. He still doesn’t feel...amazing, but it’s not as bad as it was before. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Uh, going on eleven hours,” Tony says, gritting his teeth. “Which is why May is so insistent on the—lunch. Gonna be a big one, she almost wanted to start feeding you through a tube.”

Peter blows out a breath and sinks down a little further into his pillows.

“We’re gonna have to do a couple different treatments over the next few months for the mercury,” Tony says. “It wasn’t death-level but it was close, with all the other shit he mixed in there, and it’s not good to have it in your body. With your heightened—everything, and your healing, your system was trying to attack it but, well—what he made was strong, and it was spewing out everywhere at that plant. It’s a good thing you caught it when you did, because we were able to contact everybody who went to the scene that night before they shut everything down. You saved a lot of lives, Pete. Now they’re all gonna get treated, and it would have hit them harder than it hit you because they’re not—spider men. You were just more exposed.”

Peter stares at him. “What about Norman?”

Tony’s face goes stern. “Why do you care about that asshole? He did this to you.”

“He’s got...a kid, Tony,” Peter says. “My age, I think. I’m sure, as disappointed as his kid is that his dad is a super villain, he still...doesn’t want him dead.”

Tony looks down at his hands. “He’s still alive,” he says. “I sent some of my best guys to the prison to treat him. Because I knew you’d want me to. I didn’t do it because I wanted to or because I want him to live, I did it because I knew it’s what you would have wanted.”

Peter feels warmer, under all that, and he reaches out and grabs Tony’s hand, the one that isn’t iron. “Thank you,” he says.

“Uh huh,” Tony says, but he squeezes Peter’s hand. “He deserves to rot for doing this to you, Pete. You’re gonna be dealing with this shit for six months or so. Minimum.”

“I’ll beat it before then,” Peter says, smiling at him, trying to ignore how like shit he feels.

Tony meets his eyes. “You’re too good. You need to stop being too good.”

Peter shrugs and keeps smiling. He doesn’t think he’s good enough, at anything, ever. But he knows that’s not the right thing to say to Tony right now.

Tony scoffs and squeezes his hand again. “Uh, are you okay for visitors? Because Morgan was having a complete heart attack.”

“Always ready for a Morgan visit,” Peter says. “And can you, uh—call Ned and MJ?”

“Yeah, they’re on their way already,” Tony says. “I gotta keep your girl from chastising you too hard.”

“No way to avoid that,” Peter says.

“Yeah,” Tony says, patting Peter’s hand. He clears his throat and doesn’t let go quite yet. “I’m proud of you. I know I said it before when it all first happened, and I wish I had been there to back you up—I wish anybody had been, but I just—wanted to say it again. Because you deserve to hear it, especially when you’re—dealing with something like this.” He looks at him and smiles fondly, a little sadly. “I’m proud of you.”

It’s one of Peter’s favorite things to hear, especially from Tony and May. He knows getting through this is gonna be hard, but he’s got the kind of support system that people literally wait lifetimes for. He’s beyond lucky.

He holds onto Tony’s hand. “I’m proud of you too.”

#tony stark #peter parker #iron man #spider-man #my fics #iron dad #i am not a doctor

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shelby-love · 5 years ago

Text

JAY HALSTEAD

"Beer and a hockey game date”

Requested: no

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: /

The more you continue to work in Chicago Med the more you grow crazier and crazier. Going to work isn't as fun as it used to be, it actually never was. And there was only one person responsible for that.

Dr. Sam Abrams. The head of neurosurgery at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center.

Your boss.

He's been hard on you ever since you finished med. school and got matched as a specialist at neurosurgery. But lately he's been sending shots your way that you can't avoid no matter how much you try.

He's amazing at what he does, there's no doubt but his soul is black. Whenever he's around there always seems to be a dark cloud over the top of his head and that damn cloud is so powerful that even patient's who have some type of brain damage notice it. If anything that cloud gives you work and opportunities to master your neurosurgery skills because everyone would take your opinion and your services over his.

Jay Halstead. The name you hear Dr. Abrams say more often than his complaints and disagreements about the new rules that doctors have to follow. Maybe that's why he's so harsh and cold. Because he thinks Jay is distracting you from your job.

You keep thinking and arguing with yourself in your mind as you sip your coffee and walk through the emergency department where your boyfriend's brother also works. The ED is actually the place where all the cool people work. They make you question why you choose neurology. God why couldn't Sam Abrams be a bit nicer?

"You're late," You recognize the voice too well. Your frown deepens at Dr. Abrams voice but you mask it by sipping your coffee, too afraid of the thought that if he saw you frowning he'd have you hooked on to basic neurology assignments that you can't avoid. Those assignments are meant for babies, but when he gives them to you you feel like a kid who got extra homework because of behavior. Sometimes you even get offended. Dr. Abrams, who now stands in front of you hands you a tablet with a new patient's problems displayed on the screen. "Here's your patient, I got paged down here. Doctor Manning needs my consultation. She asked for you but, given your antics with Jay Halstead, she should've known you'd be late to work."

My antics with Jay???? You think, there's a big part of you that wants to put him in his place but God made you a nice person. Your yesterday's antics, was a two hour hangout with Jay, Burgess and Ruzek at Molly's. You had nothing more than a beer and a few sips of Jay's drink but he can think what he wants.

"Thanks Sam," you reply and he gives you a look. You bite the inside of your cheeks to prevent an eye roll. Sometimes you think only people at neurology are still on the last names basis. "Doctor Abrams."

His nod towards you is dismissive, "Just get it done." He strides away without looking back.

A big sigh escapes your mouth as you glup your coffee down and throw it in the bin next to which Maggie is standing. "Dr. Abrams seems to be in a good mood today."

You snort and start scanning your patients medical records, "What you saw right now is ten times worse when we're up in neurology."

"Yeah, I bet it is." She sighs. "Good luck Y/N. Oh and by the way Jay is here."

Your brows furrow in confusion as you take your eyes off the screen and look at her. Even through its early in the morning and you're just in time for work which means Jay should be starting work about now too, something tugs in your chest. "Is he okay?" You ask, immediately thinking about him being injured. It happened before, his profession is dangerous.

Noticing that you took her statement the wrong way Maggie puts her hands up in a calm down motion, "He's fine. It's his dad."

You haven't been dating long enough for your formal introduction to happen so that's why you felt uneasy going to Trauma 2 where he and Will were. You had work to do and a patient to attend to. Not knowing what to do you fidget with the tablet in your hands and tell Maggie you're going to say hi to him. Probably use Will so you can have an excuse to say hi. Even though you saw him the night before, you still felt like a giddy high school girl whenever something was related your badass detective.

"I'm sorry but Doctor Y/LN they need you upstairs! It's an emergency!" Maggie halts your movements and you take a big turn and run to the elevator. "Maggie tell him I said hi!"

***

You storm out of the operation room raging. If someone takes a good look at you right now, they'd be able to see smoke coming out of your ears. You just lost a patient because Dr. Abrams dismissed your opinion. On the operation table, where a patient laid unresponsive due to the strong medication with his skull open Dr. Abrams didn't let you take lead when you knew exactly how to fix his falling pressure. He died on the table.

It's always hard to loose a patient, especially when you know how to help but have your hands tied due to being a junior in your profession. Neurosurgery isn't something someone can joke about and take lightly.

You scan over the waiting room in hopes of spotting the man's wife. To your surprise you see Jay sitting in the bunch as well. Jay notices you and gives you a smile, he doesn't seem as worried as Will who's pacing around. Their dad must be in surgery. The smile is you give him is tired, you turn around and face the woman and your eyes meet. She jumps from her seat and sprints towards you, "Is he going to be okay?? Please tell me he's going to be okay!"

You shake your head sadly and she falls into your arms, sobbing and shaking. "Your husband didn't make it. His pressure fell and we couldn't control it. Dr. Abrams did everything he could Miss."

"What about you?! You're a doctor too! Why didn't you do anything?" She sobbed, her fired questions made you think. Were you supposed to take the lead nevertheless? Were you supposed to fight him into doing it? But there was no time.

"Miss, I'm sorry for your loss." You say, keeping your voice steady like you were always told to in school. She pushes you away and falls back into her chair.

Your eyes meet Jay's and tears gather in your eyes but dissappear once you see Dr. Abrams coming out of the OR. You send him your angriest look and kick the waiting room doors open and storm out. Suddenly everything in the hospital seems to suffocate you. You feel claustrophobic and need fresh air.

Chicago's strong cold weather hits you like a truck when you step out but you don't mind. You just hug your arms closer and take deep breaths. You saved one life today, but lost another. You don't mind the shivers and the goosebumps that form underneath your long sleeved doctor's attire. You look at the buzzing people outside, ambulance cars that pass by, people walking towards or out of the hospital, doctors chatting and drinking warm liquids. Suddenly, something warm drapes over your shoulders and you turn your head and meet faces with Jay. He gives you a warm smile and kisses your temple before draping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you close to him. "I'm sorry for the way things turned out for you today. I'm sure you did everything you could."

"I could've saved him Jay. But Dr. Abrams didn't listen to me." Your head rests on his shoulder. "I think he thinks I'm not good enough for this job. All of my ideas are dismissed even though I never missed a diagnosis."

"But I heard you also saved a life today," Jay says, "Y/N, you're one of the strongest people I know, but some days, you're not going to be able to save everyone. Trust me, I know. You just have to come to terms with it and move on, but remember it so you don't make the same mistake again."

"My mistake isn't in the diagnosis. It's in the fact I failed to fight for this patients life. I let Dr. Abrams boss me around with his senior status."

"I go against Voight's orders when it's a life death situation," He says shrugging. "You should try it sometimes babe."

You smile. It's amazing how you two understand each other. It's the reason why you work well together. There's a lot of relation in your jobs, they crossover a lot. "Should I now?"

You turn around to face him and he connects his lips to yours. The kiss is soft and comforting and it makes your worries disappear. You pull away after a few moments and ask him, "How's your dad doing?"

"Connors doing surgery on him right now. He's gonna be okay," Jay says, "What are you doing tonight?"

"Hanging out with my cat," You say and furrow your eyebrows. "Why?"

"I have two Blackhawks tickets for tonight," He pulls you close. "Will you go with me?"

"A hockey game date?"

"Duh, of course. Do you wanna come? I'll pick you up at 7?" To prove his point he pulls away and starts rummaging through the pockets of his jacket that's draped over you. He pulls out two tickets and waves them in the air.

"You and me, cold beer and a game of hockey. What do you say?" You pretend to think about it before you smile and say, "Yeah I'll go with you Jay. I love men in skates."

"Then it's settled. I'll pick you up at 7."

"See you at 7 Jay."

He grins once more and pulls you in for a kiss. He dissappears into the hospital to check up on his dad and later leave back to work at the district. Now standing there alone, you take a deep breath once more and walk back into the hospital hugging Jay's jacket closer to yourself.

May God help Dr. Abrams now.

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #chicago med #chicago pd #chicago med imagine #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfiction

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itsjasperblue · 6 years ago

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Tips from my Top Surgery Recovery

I am almost 3 weeks post op double incision with Dr. Mangubat in Seattle now and here are some things I learned that weren’t necessarily on other lists I read on the internet prior to my surgery.

- Be vocal about how you’re feeling. Tell the nurse, your caretaker, your surgeon, etc., how you’re feeling if only for peace of mind. I was EXTREMELY shaking coming out of the anesthesia and felt really nauseous. I made sure they knew, and I was taken care of. As someone who has a hard time advocating for themselves, this was important.

- For the love of all things good REST. Even if you think you are feeling better take an extra nap. Surgery is HUGE and your body needs to focus on recovering. I did not do this and it definitely delayed my recovery.

- Be on top of it with the pain meds, but also be mindful of how you feel. The drains were the worst part and like 90% of the pain for me. Once I got them out I was able to stop using the opioid pain meds and just use good old ibuprofen. The Percocet made me super nauseous and sleepy so I was glad to get off them.

- Benadryl will help with itching because those incision sites are gonna itch like a new tattoo. No one told me this, I wasn’t prepared. BUT Benadryl will also knock you out. You need the sleep but just make sure you’re not taking it and going to work (if you work a desk job) cause you will be sleepy.

- Eat a bunch of pineapple prior to and after the surgery to help prevent bruising. I was very on top of this and ended up with extremely little bruising. Also just eat a balanced diet in general, but ESPECIALLY around the surgery. ALSO Hydration!! With straws! I had a reusable $3 cold cup from Starbucks that I used that worked well. The straw is just straight but it doesn’t spill so I didn’t mind not having a bendy straw.

- You have to stop drinking and smoking about a month prior to surgery. Please do this. It’ll help your body heal better and give the nipple grafts a better chance at taking.

- Post op depression is REAL. I cried so much in the first week after my surgery just from being overwhelmed. I wrote myself a letter prior to surgery to read when I got down, I had a support system of friends and my therapist, and I watched a BUNCH of TV and played lots of video games. Most importantly though was I tried to just let myself feel what I was feeling. Holding it in isn’t going to make you feel better, especially when you’re already feeling pretty down. Know that you’re gonna heal, you’re gonna get through it, and you did not make a mistake.

- SO. MANY. PILLOWS. You have to sleep propped up and on your back for what seems like forever, especially if you’re not a back sleeper, so just use like all the pillows in your place and go buy some more. Make a pillow nest. Sink into it. Get comfy.

- You’re not gonna sleep through the night for the first night or two. It’s ok. It took me two days to be able to sleep for a good 6-7 hour stretch. At first I could only sleep in 15 minute increments. Your body will adjust back to normal. Just try to relax and sleep as often as you can. When you can’t watch some Netflix.

- A lot of tips will tell you you may be constipated after surgery. I wasn’t but definitely be prepared for that. However, I did have a slightly hard time peeing after the anesthesia, which I was informed is normal. It was like I had to extra focus on relaxing the muscles down there. This also went away as the anesthesia made its way out of my system.

- Even though you want this, when you get to see your new chest regularly it’s gonna take some mental processing. At first I cried from happiness, but then it started looking alien to me. Part of that is because it’s gonna be bruised and bloody and scabby for a long time, but also because I was so used to seeing something else and just like that my chest is flat now and it took some time for my brain to catch up. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time to process it. It’s good, it’s weird, and it’s ok.

Overall, just relax and let your body focus on healing. Ask for help. Take extra naps. Eat good food. Rest. I initially took 2 weeks off of work but asked my boss for a third and I am so glad I did.

#top surgery #ftm #trans #trans boy #gcs #grs #transmasc #transgender #ftx #nonbinary #transnonbinary #surgery

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sanders-sides-fic · 5 years ago

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There is no nice deathworlders! (Right?) [Chapter 3]

AU-masterpost: here

Virgil had been outside for hours now. He’d left the cage for two reasons, one of them being that he didn’t want to freak the creathen out even further. He had been able to tell that he didn’t want to be close to Virgil and Virgil couldn’t even blame him.

However, after being outside for so long, he started to wonder. Was the creathen safe? If he’d cut his bindings somehow and escaped, well, good for him. Now that his skin was healed up enough for him to be conscious again the alien would probably be fine. But what if something had crept up into the cave and attacked him? He wasn’t really able to fight, Virgil had made sure of that. For his own safety, because he doubted that the creathen would have let him talk.

Not that he had even been able to do so earlier. Virgil was still frustrated by that, but he was pretty happy that the creathen had understood what Virgil wanted to communicate in the end.

Still. If anyone or anything would attack the creathen now he’d probably die and it’d be Virgil’s fault. The longer he was gone, the worse the anxiety got. But if he didn’t search, he wouldn’t be able to find Janus and he wouldn’t be able to safe any other potentially hurt crew members of his new acquaintance. He also doubted that the creathen wanted his protection. Or realize that that was what it was. Judging from the reactions he had gotten so far for being a human, he’d probably just assume Virgil had come to kill him and/or fry him in a cauldron.

Then again, he hadn’t slept last night and this night was almost over as well. The storm had cleared up enough to see some of the stars as well. Maybe Virgil could just sleep outside the cage and make sure the creathen was safe? He did need sleep. He had a feeling that the days on this planet were shorter than back on earth, but he was tired nonetheless. Really tired. He’d be anxious to get here, so he hadn’t been able to sleep before coming to this planet.

Disappointedly, Virgil turned around with a sigh. Well, maybe he would have better luck tomorrow. Maybe. But probably not. It had been stupid to get his hopes up, really. After all, there had only been rumors of a human being here. And those rumors had only been of a human screaming. Not many aliens actually knew what a human scream sounded like, so there was a high chance it was just that: a rumor. But it had been his first lead in ages! He couldn’t just not hope.

When he got back to the cave, he could hear the creathen talk. At first he thought someone had found them, but it turned out to be the same self-talking habits he had tended to when Virgil had first spotted him.

“You know, Remus, you should really wake up.”, he said with a sigh. “You’re missing out on all the action. You always said how you wanted to get to know a deathworlder, right? And now we’re trapped by one. They could come back any moment now. Come on, you crazy shit. I need your help right now. And… I miss you…” The creathen’s voice broke at that last statement. Or the creath’s voice, Virgil guessed. It almost sounded like the second creath inside the creathen’s body had yet to grow conscious again. That was… Well, it definitely wasn’t good. Virgil knew that much, even if he didn’t know anything else.

Remus was the unconscious creath’s name, huh? Virgil felt bad for Remus’s twin. It sounded as though he was suffering without his twin’s support. There wasn’t much Virgil could do about it, though. At least not that he knew about and he doubted the creath would just ask him for help. So he sat down with another sigh. He didn’t enter the cave and he didn’t listen to what else Remus’s brother said to Remus. It felt as though he’d be intruding on a very personal moment.

So, instead he looked up to the stars. They were so similar to what stars looked like on earth, just in other constellations. And clearer. Virgil supposed light pollution wasn’t really a thing on ZH-8. It wasn’t on most planets.

When they had just escaped the smuggler’s ship, Virgil and Janus had played star-guessing. It was basically like cloud guessing. They would form their own constellations and name them. Not the way they had been named on earth, no, they would give them names that actually fitted how they looked. Virgil’s all time favorite was still “the drunken dwarf” that Janus had spotted on a planet called GK-9J6. And every time they had ended with guessing which star up there was the sun, or wether they could even see the sun at all. It wasn’t a very strong or bright star, Virgil had understood that pretty early on.

Virgil hadn’t played anymore since Janus disappeared. So far that rumor had been the only true one about them. That Janus had been lost in a smoke storm on a planet close by. He knew the aliens around here just used it as a horror story or to warn their young of the dangers of the deathworlders. Because Virgil was so dangerous with his social anxiety, selective mutism and terrible orientation. Yes, truly the attributes of a vicious killer who would stalk his pray to the ends of the galaxy. Absolutely.

He sometimes wondered how some of the rumors had started at all. One time, when he had been disguised on a market far far away from here, there had even been a rumor that included how “no one ever lived to tale the tale”. But how the hell did they think those stories were from then?! It was just plain stupid. And neither he nor Janus would ever kill children for the fun of it in front of their tied up parents. That was just horrible! Not even Janus lied like that. But, whatever. It wasn’t as though he could do anything about it. And back on earth people had been gossiping about the strange, edgy teenager as well. So he was used to it.

Looking back up, he suddenly saw a bunch of stars that looked like the head of a snake. A small grin appeared on his lips at that. He would call this constellation “Janus’s true form”. That was the last thought that crossed his mind before he fell asleep.

…

A man in a black suit entered the strange room they put Virgil in. How long had he been in here? He had hoped those evil fucks would just leave him alone after he injured that other… thing. It had ben hauntingly easy to do so, too. Virgil still wasn’t over it.

He guessed that being left alone had been wishful thinking after all, as he stood up slowly. His black hoody was sipped up, hiding the purple tee underneath. But that didn’t help much in the white room. Those fucks couldn’t see properly, Virgil guessed, so it worked for them. But this man, this human, wouldn’t be bothered by a little bit of shadows. He knew that.

Virgil tried to speak to the man in the suit, but it didn’t work. Apparently his meds didn’t work anymore. With an annoyed huff, he decided to settle for a glare when he couldn’t demand answers. The man smiled and it was an empty, friendly, polite, pleasant smile. The kind you would see on posters right before a vote or on those big galas his dad threw or equally stupid stuff like that. It annoyed Virgil even further. What the hell?

“Hello”, the man said in a very calm, smooth voice. It was like vanilla ice cream. Virgil didn’t like it one bit. “I hope you can speak my language?”, the man continued to talk. The answer was easy, even without talking. But should Virgil answer? It was the first person that spoke his language and he still didn’t know what the fuck was going on. And he had been told to build report with kidnappers so they would see him as a person instead of a thing and not kill him. Not dying sounded like a good plan. So, after a moment’s notice, Virgil nodded once.

The man’s disgusting smile deepened. “Splendid. Now, I am going to tell you what our… predicament here is and I hope you believe me. Don’t worry, they can’t understand what I am telling you. I would like it very much if you could put on your acting face too, so they don’t get suspicious. Can you do that?”

Virgil nodded again. The man nodded back. And neither did his smile falter nor did it leave his voice, even when he started to explain: “I know this might sound crazy, but we have been abducted. By aliens. This is an illegal smuggler ship and we will most likely die soon.”

What. The. Hell?!

It was really hard not to show his shock or fear right now. Instead, Virgil pulled his arms around himself in a tight hug and pressed his lips together. He hoped he looked more angry than scared, though.

“You’re doing great, darling. Now, I managed to get onto somewhat friendly terms with those squalid fucks. That’s why they put me here. I’m supposed to calm you down and make you obedient or something the like. They trust me. Not entirely, but a little.” Ah, great. Fucking perfect! So this man was with them, then. Shit!

But the man didn’t stop there. As though he understood Virgil’s unease, his smile deepened and he let out a polite little chuckle: “I know this is a fucked situation and we both don’t want to be here. So I want to propose using their trust, shoving it down their throats, make them suffocate on it and ripping out their vital organs until they regret ever even thinking about taking either of us. I’ve had quite some time here and I have a somewhat good plan, but I can’t pull it off alone. I don’t know about you but I, for one, don’t want to die in some dump after they are through with me or get soled as a slave to another species. Believe me, humans aren’t well liked around here. Bad reputation. Ah! It’s the worst.” He chuckled again.

Virgil could only stare at him in disbelieve. That guy was crazy. This man had lost it. Whatever those things did to him, he was a goner now. And still the only hope Virgil had. God, he was screwed. However, the man was right. He didn’t want either of those options happening to him either. Not to anyone, actually. So Virgil gave the man another tight-lipped nod.

“Oh, thank god! I was worried you wouldn’t let me. My name is Janus. Janus Serpent. And you are…?”, the man chuckled. And looked at Virgil expectantly. Great. How did you talk again? Virgil opened his mouth, trining to say something, but could only close it in the end. He shook his head frustratedly.

“Oh! Are you mute, darling?”

Well… Not quite. But it was as close as the man would probably get. So Virgil raised his hand and shook it in an so-so motion. Janus nodded.

“I see. Hm… Do you know ASL by any chance?”

Virgil nodded. Yes! Yes, he did. He had learned it because someone suggested it might help. It wasn’t really a solution, but it was easier than using his voice. So Virgil raised his hand and started spelling out his name.

“V-I-R-G-I-L-F-E-L-I-N-E…? Uhm…Virgil Feline? Is that you? Wait, so you are the son of that CAO?”

Fuck. So Janus had heard of him before. Damnit! Did he even want to work with Virgil now? After all, the news had been full of those petty “crimes” for years now. But that wouldn’t keep Janus from escaping together, right? He’d said he needed the help, right?

“Perfect.”, Janus smiled to Virgil’s surprise, “Then you will understand a lot more of what I’m about to tell you. I heard you like to sneak around. That might just come in handy…”

The creath inside the cave woke up from a sound outside the next morning. It was almost as though something was in pain. Was the deathworlder back? Had they tortured an innocent being? God, he wished he had Remus to talk to!

Roman took a look towards his bindings. He’d tried to cut them with the scale on his tale, but it was made more for poking than cutting, so he’d only managed one of the many times it had been wrapped around his wrists before it had hurt too much to go on. What would the deathworlder do when they found out, that Roman had tried to disobey them and flee? He shuddered at the thought.

Another sound captured Roman’s attention. It really was the deathworlder. Roman could see them in the little light entering the cave from outside. He really wished for Logan’s night vision right about now… Something was strange, though. Aside from the mud all over them, there was water on their face. What…? But the storm had long since been gone. Where did that come from? What did it mean?

The otherworldly predator decided to sit down across from Roman, an empty look on their face. Their eyes looked at Roman, but it felt more as though they looked through him.

Maybe he shouldn’t have given up on freeing himself yesterday after all. He doubted that look was a good one…

Taglist 💜:

@the-ultimate-a @bunny222

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biillys · 4 years ago

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But like broke ribs and a chest cold at the same time would be so painful 😢

it would literally be the most painful :’(

like. billy would probably be one of those kids that just didn’t get sick, was always running around and on the go. it’s literally like his body just didn’t have time to be under the weather.

but then they move to fuck all indiana, and its cold as shit, and like. he does his best to keep busy and stay out of the house, always moving, keeping warm, but there’s absolutely nothing to do. pools closed for the winter, he’s picked up a job doing handyman miscellaneous shit for locals and neighbours, but half the town hates him on principle for being the punk with a led foot and the too loud music, so he’s not exactly booked with jobs.

so before he realises, he’s coming down with the common cold, and he’s fucking miserable. he goes between being Mr. I Am Definitely Dying Due To The Man Flu and Mr. I’ve Never Been Sick Before In My Life And I’m Not Starting To Get Sick Now. max is looking for any opening to just knock him out with cold medicine without him knowing since he claims he’d rather die than be drugged up.

but he’s handling it well! he’s dealing with this whole not-being-sick thing fineeeee!!! he’s also kinda dealing with the fallout of being home late last week; which wasn’t so much as him being late, more neil changing the time of curfew as he walked in the door, but billy still payed for that one. made worse by the fact that he also got suspended from the basketball team and a weeks worth of detentions for some shit tommy pulled just before that. as well as the fact that mr. jackson complained to his dad that billy didn’t fix his kitchen sink properly, but instead apparently made it worse. all up, he’s lowkey pretty sure his ribs are bruised. maybe fractured. slight possibility that they could be broken. billy’s in fucking denial about that though.

but he’s dealing with everything like a champ!!! totally handling it!! so of course, his cold goes from a head cold to a chest cold, and he’s coughing up his lungs every two minutes. and like, smoking definitely isn’t helping, but he’s trying to cut back. so. also his ribs are just fucking aching, but he point blank refuses to go the the hospital or go see a doctor, so he’s just doing everything he can do to get through the fucking day. but he’s handling it!

until he’s not, cos basketball practice is back, suspension finished, and he just. fucking can’t. cant run laps, can’t do jumps with his arms above his head, can’t handle the noise of a bunch of obnoxious teenagers and a whistle happy coach running and shouting and cheering. he tries!! real hard!! to just grin and bear it, but he’s lagging, looks like absolute shit, and coach catches just a glimpse at his side when he tries to make a hoop and. well. coach hasn’t stopped a game so fast in fucking years.

so after a little bit of arguing, billy’s sitting in with the school nurse, getting told more or less that he needs to go to an actual hospital. that he could be proper injured, could be seriously hurt. and he’s hearing what they’re saying, he really is, but like fuck is gonna be able to pay the medical bills for this shit. they’d probably wanna take x-rays, make him buy his own meds? no fucking way.

after nodding his head along to everything they’re saying, and walking out without planning on doing a single thing they said, boy struggles through the next few weeks. coach lets him stay benched until billy gives him the go-ahead that he feels ready to be back in the game. he does his best to stay off neil’s radar, even makes a deal with max that he’ll chauffeur her and her friends around where ever they wanna go if she does some of his chores. heals slowly but surely.

all in all, billy decides he fucking hates winter. hates the cold weather. never wants to deal with being sick again. promises himself that by the time next winter comes around, he’ll be back in california, never again having to deal with fucking snow.

#hello i am not use to getting anons so im ASSUMING we are talking about a billy hc's #if not? then disregard everything i said dsjkhfdks #msgs <3 #m #nqff

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puddygeeks · 4 years ago

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Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 70: Sᴇᴇᴅs ᴏғ Dɪsᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Episodes: Watch The Thrones

Chapter Seventy

My body felt heavy as I gradually stirred and the first thing that I noticed in my environment was the consistent beep of a heart monitor. Something was in my nostrils, irritating my nose and I could feel dressings of some kind stuck to multiple parts of my skin. There was an intense soreness in my chest, feeling as if I had been bruised all over and I felt the familiar tight sensation of stitches.

Exhaustion hung over me, preventing me from opening my eyes too soon and my mind swirled over the last events in my memory as I tried to make sense of what was happening. The explosion of Mount Weather replayed in my mind and I felt my heart skip a beat in panic, allowing me a burst of energy to wake from the medication that was being pumped into an IV.

The medical unit swam into view and it took a few moments for me to process the fact that I was back in Arkada. People rushed around me, seeming flustered by my movement as if they had not expected it and I strained to concentrate on their words.

“Get Abby. She’s waking up!” Jackson’s voice alerted, before hurrying over to my side in concern and he slapped my hands away as I attempted to pull an oxygen tube from my nose.

“Morning, sleepyhead. Now listen, don’t go getting all excited and jumping around. You’re not long out of surgery, so you still need to rest. I’m just going to run some obs on you to check how you’re doing whilst you get your bearings.” He explained, moving to wheel over a blood pressure machine with a bunch of other medical tools sitting in a basket that was attached to it and I nodded to consent to anything that he felt he needed to do.

Everything felt horribly bright to my tired eyes, but fortunately the ward was empty so I could take my time to reorient myself without any interruption. My memories of how I survived the explosion were hazy in my muddled mind and I was sure that I remembered Jackson arriving at the perfect moment to treat me, but I couldn’t think of any reason why he would have been there.

“Am I imagining things, or did you save my life?” I muttered, my voice still hoarse from smoke inhalation and Jackson smiled down at me as he worked.

He finished placing the blood pressure cuff on my arm and set it to begin squeezing my arm, then busied himself with taking my temperature. I waited patiently for an answer, my blinks lazy and long as I still battled to wake up and once he was content that he’d done all he needed too, Jackson perched on the edge of the bed to view me with evident fondness.

“Sinclair radioed to ask me to come to staff the med bay in the mountain as soon as the rescue party left. Just in case things went bad, he thought it made sense to have me standing-by where the best of our equipment was.” He explained calmly, observing me closely as he filled in a medical chart and I hummed thoughtfully, surprised at how efficient Sinclair had been whilst we were leaderless. “Fortunately, it took a while to get there, so I was just in time to witness your crazy stunt.” He quipped, glancing up at me with a cheeky glint in his eye and I smiled weakly at him.

Before I could manage a response, Abby rounded the corner and thinned her eyes at me in a manner that indicated that I was in trouble. Jackson noticed my attitude become tense and glanced back at her, before grimacing slightly. He instantly got to his feet, sneaking me a supportive smile as he packed up the equipment and then made himself scarce.

“You have us quite a scare, Indigo. Again.” Abby declared, nearing to check my stats on the machines and I knew that I was in for a lecture.

“I only just found out that you asked Jackson to hide your broken ribs from everyone. Do you understand how irresponsible that was? If he hadn’t arrived at Mount Weather just after the explosion, you would have died from your injuries. You’re very lucky that you still didn’t.” She scolded, standing above me with a stern expression and I moved my gaze to my feet awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, Abby.” I whispered, feeling completely unprepared to defend my actions when I was this weak and I chewed on my lip.

Deep down, I knew that I deserved to hear this and she was right to be furious at me for my actions, but whilst every part of my body was aching, I was all too aware of the effect of my decisions. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that I had been foolish, but I swallowed my pride to allow them their reactions and she sighed in an exhausted manner as she regarded me.

“I’m not the only person that you need to apologise to. Sometimes, I’m not convinced that you realise the impact you have on this camp. Your remaining group all depend on each other for their wellbeing and each time that we lose one of you, the rest of you suffer. They all worry for you and you know better than anyone that when they worry, they make bad decisions. In the time that I’ve known you, you’ve always acted as if you are the most mature of your group and have taken the role of being responsible for them. I’m sorry if this is difficult to hear, but it’s time for you to realise that your actions will get them killed if you don’t start learning to share the burden.” She advised, her voice low and serious, and I finally met her eyes with regret.

“You’re right.” I admitted, fiddling with my hands awkwardly, feeling as if I were staring into the face of my own disappointed mother and as I opened my mouth to continue, Bellamy hurtled around the corner in a fluster.

Though Abby tried to warn him off with her body language, clearly keen to finish our conversation without him fussing over me, he refused to await permission to interrupt. He charged past her to reach my bedside with desperation and had to pause just before he reached me to soften his movements so that he wouldn’t unintentionally hurt me in his enthusiasm.

“You’re finally awake!” He breathed, relief filling his handsome features as he gently took my face in his hands and placed a cautious kiss on my forehead, as if he were afraid that he might break me. “You really scared me this time, Inds. I thought I was gonna lose you.” He confessed in a weak voice, his eyes still red from crying and whilst he was close enough for me to properly examine him, I began to notice how broken down he looked.

“I’m fine, Bel. I’m not going anywhere.” I answered reassuringly, keen to put his troubled mind at ease and without even looking at her, I could feel Abby raising her brows at me as she cleared her throat.

“Actually, she’s not fine.” She clarified, stepping closer with her arms crossed and Bellamy turned to view her with interest. “In the interest of transparency, as your girlfriend has a history of hiding important medical information, you should know that she has three broken ribs, one of which caused the puncture in her lung. These breaks occurred almost six weeks ago in a fight, I’m told, and so although they shouldn’t give her too much trouble in future, they are something that will need to be taken into consideration from now on. Fortunately, we were able to confirm in surgery that they’re mostly healed at this point, as much as it is possible for them to.” She reported, allowing Bellamy a chance to sneak a frustrated glance at me that made me shrink in shame, before she continued.

“However, her lung has taken some substantial damage. We will need to monitor her breathing to ensure that it continues to heal and doesn’t collapse again. She’s also sustained several second degree burns, which will need regular dressing changes and care. Not to mention that she just underwent life saving surgery which will leave her weak and vulnerable. We’ll keep her here overnight, at least, but I need to make it clear that she is not to go on patrol, or guard duty, or partake in any kind of strenuous activity for some time, and absolutely not without my express permission. This is serious and I expect it to be treated as such.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that it is.” Bellamy asserted, his voice deeply serious now that he knew the full extent of my injuries and I already recognised from his tone that I was about to be in far worse trouble with him than I ever had been with Abby.

“I’ll let you two catch up for now. But, Indigo, you and I are not finished.” Abby stated, flashing me one last severe glare, before she departed and I gulped down my dread as I anticipated the rest of my punishment from her.

Once we were alone, I could sense the tension in the air and Bellamy turned to study me with an obvious sense of betrayal that made me want the ground to open up and swallow me.

“Indie. What is going on with you?” He asked, furrowing his brows together as if he couldn’t understand what he had just been told and I shuffled in discomfort as his dark eyes studied me. “Why didn’t you tell me about the broken ribs?” He grilled, his tone displaying the hurt that he felt at this discovery and I could hardly stand how awful I felt about this decision now.

“Because I knew that you would make that face.” I answered in a sulky manner as I peeked up at the protective expression that he was wearing and I watched as he attempted to disguise the overbearing concern that was present in his eyes with little success.

“What face?”

“The face that you’re making right now. The poor, delicate Indie face. I hate that face.” I grumbled childishly as I crossed my arms, despising the way that he fretted over me whenever I was hurt and he cracked a slight smile at my confession.

“You know, I hate your face is a terrible way to start an apology.” He replied mockingly and though I was appreciative of his efforts to lighten the conversation, I couldn’t deny the awful feeling that was taking root in the pit of my stomach.

“I know that I should have told you. Even at the time, I knew it was wrong to cover it up.” I began, knitting my hands together nervously and he slipped a hand between them to stop me, instead just holding it comfortingly. “I knew that if you all found out, you would take me off patrol and guard duty, and I would just be trapped inside Arkadia, going totally crazy. It’s selfish, but I wanted to be able to go out with you, to make sure that you were okay. I couldn’t go back to waiting for you to come home.”

“We could’ve restricted your duties, so that you weren’t totally grounded.” He argued, seeming disappointed that I hadn’t trusted him to compromise with me and the guilt of this choice compounded in my chest. “You have to be more careful with your decisions, Indie. Keeping this to yourself could have gotten you seriously hurt at any time. You almost died!” He added with his voice raising in frustration as he considered it and I struggled to defend myself against his points.

“I know. It was stupid and reckless, and I knew that, but I did it anyway.” I confirmed, unable to lie any longer about my mindset at the time and Bellamy tilted his head at me as if to silently ask why I still did it. “I needed to keep coming out with you all, so that I could protect you. I couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to you whilst I was recovering. As it turns out, my protection didn’t make a damn bit of difference when it really counted.” I added bitterly, dropping my gaze to my lap to avoid his reaction as I felt my eyes welling up and I could sense that he was studying me.

“What are you talking about?” He enquired with confusion, leaning forward to meet my gaze and I cleared my throat in a pointless attempt to keep the emotion from my voice.

“I failed her. Gina died because I left her alone. If I had stayed with her, I could’ve protected her. I could’ve protected all of Mount Weather. Instead, all I did was save myself.” I divulged, a feeling of utter shame overwhelming me as I recalled the moment that I ran, leaving everyone to die and Bellamy grabbed my chin to force me to look at him.

“Hey. Don’t do that to yourself.” He ordered, viewing me with disbelief and I felt my heart breaking in my chest as I tried to push the invasive memory away. “The Ice Nation sent an assassin into somewhere that we considered a safe space. Your guard was down. You weren’t even armed! If you’d been in that room, chances are that you would be dead too. This wasn’t your fault.” He stressed this point, leaning closer as desperately tried to reach past my self-loathing and I felt the first of many tears escape my control.

“I gave up, Bellamy. I just ran out of the facility to save myself. I could’ve saved other people, but I didn’t. I only thought of myself.” I revealed, feeling disgusted as I shared this with the overpowering fear that he would never be able to see me the same way and instead, he surveyed me with a pained understanding.

“You made a difficult decision in an impossible situation. You shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting to live, Love.” He advised, squeezing my hand and I sniffed to contain the wave of tears that willed to flow down my cheeks. “You remember the first time that we had an honest chat? When you followed me into the woods after Atom died, and you almost collapsed, and found me totally losing my mind with guilt?” He recalled quietly, taking me back to an encounter that I had long forgotten and I nodded slowly in response, allowing him to continue.

“You were the one that pointed out that we weren’t trained to make these choices. You told me that I would make mistakes, but that it would allow me to learn. We’ve both made a lot of mistakes since we landed here and we’ve become better survivors from it. At heart though, we’re still those same kids with no training. We’re doing the best that we can. I promise you, the best thing to do in that situation was to live, because we need you. I need you.” He spoke from the heart, reaching out to brush a tear from my cheek with such tenderness that it caused the dam inside me to break and I took a sharp breath as the emotion exploded out of me.

“I couldn’t save her.” I gasped in remorse, finally allowing the true depth of my pain to show and Bellamy shushed me gently. “I tried so hard. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to put pressure on the wounds, and-and I wanted to carry her to medical, but she wouldn’t let me. I really tried to help her and she still died in my arms. I couldn’t save her, Bellamy!” I cried as sobs wracked my chest causing another wave of pain and he pulled me to him.

It was hard to breathe as I wept against his chest, my still recovering lungs struggling to manage the sharp breaths of my cries, but Bellamy simply held me close and smoothed my hair, allowing me an opportunity to fall apart. Whenever I felt this broken, I craved his comfort in a way that I couldn’t put into words and his embrace melted away all of the outside influences that pressed down on me until it was just him and I.

“I know that you did everything you could. You always do. Sometimes it’s just not enough. You can’t blame yourself.” He soothed as he reasoned with my frazzled mind and although logically I knew that he was right, I felt that it would likely take some time before I was able to believe it for myself.

Time passed without my notice as I waited for my emotions to become manageable and Bellamy remained patiently holding me, content to allow me all of the time that I needed with him.

The warmth of his body gradually calmed me and eventually, I noticed that my eyes were stinging with tiredness again. The weight of the anaesthetic still hung over me and as I sat back to look up at him, he gave me a concerned look.

“It looks like you could do with some rest.” He remarked with a subtle sense of worry as I laid back on my pillow with a drowsy head and he lovingly pushed my fuzzy hair behind my ears, his touch lingering on the side of my face. “I’ll come back later to check on you.” He breathed as he moved to stand, but I grabbed his hand in a desperate bid for him to stay, clinging onto him with all the strength that I could muster.

Bellamy paused, looking back down at me from his towering height with a sympathetic smile and I battled to keep my eyes open, unwilling to be parted from him yet. After a few moments of consideration, he returned to sitting on the bed and placed a hand back on my forehead, tracing tender circles on my skin.

“Alright. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” He conceded, observing me with such fondness that it made my heart swell and I released a small sigh of contentment. “I still need to read you to sleep, afterall.” He added with a smirk and as a smile filled my lips at the idea, I found myself drifting to sleep.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

When I next woke, it was to an empty bed and the ward was almost totally quiet other than Jackson, who was completing paperwork nearby whilst also keeping an eye on me. It was as if Abby and him expected me to dramatically bolt out of here at any moment, ensuring that I was guarded at all times, but I honestly didn’t have the strength to escape from anywhere at the moment.

Though I wondered where Bellamy had got to, I knew that I was trapped in this bed for now and would need to come to terms with it sooner or later.

I sighed in frustration, looking around for something that could occupy my frantic mind when I noticed a book sitting on the table beside me with a note on the front. The moment that I gripped it, I recognised Bellamy’s scruffy handwriting and a smile filled my face.

I KNOW I PROMISED TO READ THIS TO YOU, BUT I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED SOMETHING TO DO TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MISCHIEF. READ THIS AND REST, MY TROUBLE. B x

Peeling the note from the cover revealed the copy of The Iliad that I had gifted him recently and I appreciated how thoughtful a gesture this was. With little else to occupy me, I fidgeted into a comfortable position and lost myself in the book.

As I absorbed the story, I could just imagine a young Bellamy with his mop of curly hair and adorable freckles, enthralled by the adventures in the pages. The idea caused a sense of happiness that helped to push away the weight of my grief and for a while, I was relaxed. So relaxed, in fact, that I didn’t notice the sound of the doors, or the person approaching, until they cleared their throat and startled me.

“Oh, Kane. You scared me!” I gasped, gripping my chest with a genuine anxiety as I panted and he held his hands up in surrender.

“My apologies.” He commented, glancing down at the book with amusement and I used Bellamy’s note as a bookmark before closing it. “I thought I would check how you were doing. Abby tells me that it was touch and go for a while?” He clarified, settling casually in a seat beside the bed and I gulped at the thought of another lecture.

“I’m okay.” I answered quietly, meeting his eyes with a nervous feeling and wondering if I could survive another talk on my foolish behaviour. “I know that what I did was stupid and irresponsible-”

“I’m not here to punish you. From what I understand, your Chancellor already beat me to it.” He remarked lightly, a playful smile dancing across his face and I breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought that I would update you on the events of the Summit, if you’re feeling up to it?” He offered in his usual wise demeanour and I nodded fervently, pleased that he still addressed me with the same sense of value, even when I felt completely broken and helpless.

“Please. All anyone wants to talk about is how much of an idiot I’ve been.” I grumbled, allowing myself to indulge in a moment of self pity and he chuckled under his breath. “No one has told me anything. What’s our situation?”

“We have become the thirteenth clan in the Commander’s coalition, officially recognised as Skaikru.” He began, causing my mouth to drop open in shock and he rolled up his sleeve to reveal a large brand on his forearm that represented our unity. “Lexa knew that The Ice Nation wished to kill her and she planned to show the coalition that she had acquired Wanheda’s power, without being forced to kill Clarke. We completed the joining process just before Bellamy and the others burst in.” He explained, with every word he spoke further blowing my mind and I struggled to wrap my head around everything that he had just told me.

“Did the Commander have any insight on the attack on Mount Weather?” I managed to form a single question as the puzzle pieces assembled in my mind and he studied me as if he were gauging my reaction.

“The Ice Nation claimed responsibility for the attack at the Summit. Lexa arrested the entire delegation and has vowed to support us in avenging the attack. Indra just confirmed that she will send the Trikru army to protect Arkadia, to ensure that we cannot be ambushed.” He reported in a matter of fact tone and I shifted uneasily, recalling how quickly she had retracted her word at Mount Weather. “Clarke has remained in Polis as Skaikru’s ambassador in the War Council, to ensure that our interests are represented.” He added and I felt a frown immediately cross my face in response to this revelation.

“Clarke?! That’s a mistake.” I blurted, another wave of shock washing over me and Kane raised his brows in question. “I get it. She’s been living as a grounder for all of this time and she facilitated the original alliance with them to get us out of Mount Weather. But you don’t know her like I do. With all due respect, Sir, I think that your view of Clarke is likely biased, because of your rel-friendship with Abby.” I stated, causing him to smile again and it seemed that as usual, he was amused by my brutal honesty.

“If you have concerns about Clarke’s suitability for this role, then I’d like to hear them.” He offered calmly, leaning forward in his seat to place his elbows on his lap and though I had expected him to be offended by my statement, I was glad to find that he was open to discussion.

“Clarke might be living their lifestyle now, but the moment that something doesn’t go her way, she’ll expect the Commander to abandon their rules to accommodate her. In our old camp, I saw her insist on democracy, which only resulted in a majority vote against her plans and she just went behind everyone’s back to continue with her own agenda anyway. Once Clarke has decided to do something, no one else’s opinion matters. Believe me, that attitude doesn’t work in a culture as rigid as the grounders. The first thing that I was taught with Arlo is that you follow orders without question. Clarke is physically incapable of doing that.” I rambled, not hesitating to express my full opinion and Kane smiled proudly at me.

“I appreciate your honesty on this, Indigo. Unfortunately, there is no one else that Lexa respects as she does Clarke and so we will have to rely on her to prove you wrong if we are to stand any chance of surviving this conflict with The Ice Nation. However, knowing your concerns will help us to anticipate any problems.” He remarked finally and I sighed in disappointment, anxiety settling in my stomach at the idea of Clarke sitting in a war council with the very real potential to cause carnage.

“Well, at least the Commander knows everything now. Azgeda are no longer working from the shadows and we have her support.” I conceded, deciding to focus on the positives for now and Kane nodded slowly as he processed my words.

“There is something else that I thought you should now.” He declared, seeming as if he were reluctant to discuss this next topic and I thinned my eyes at him suspiciously. “Bellamy returned his guard jacket to me earlier today. Apparently, he feels as if he is at fault for those we lost at Mount Weather. He doesn’t think that he deserves to be a guard any longer. Usually, I wouldn’t interfere in personal matters like this, but I have a gut feeling that he hasn’t told you about this decision and I hoped that you might be able to talk some sense into him?” He suggested in an uncomfortable manner and I felt my eyes widen in shock, hardly able to believe that he would keep something of this severity from me.

Recalling our earlier conversation, I felt immensely guilty for burdening Bellamy with my own grief when he was already blaming himself for the outcome of Azgeda’s plot and I felt a lump rising in my throat as I thought of him viewing himself in this manner. The wisdom and ease of the advice that he had given in defence of me made sense now that I knew he had already decided that the responsibility laid at his feet and I was hurt that he had put his own feelings aside to listen to me, instead of confiding in me.

“No, actually. He didn’t tell me.” I whispered, fidgeting with my hands nervously and Kane nodded slowly in understanding. “Thank you for letting me know. I will definitely speak to him about it.” I confirmed, forcing a polite smile and he seemed relieved that he might potentially be able to return Bellamy to his post.

“Well, I should get going. There is a memorial starting soon for those lost in Mount Weather.” Kane announced as he rose to his feet reluctantly, seeming as if he was exhausted too and I felt myself straighten up slightly at this revelation.

“Wait. I want to come.” I blurted, staring up at him with a sense of desperation and he studied me sceptically, clearly unable to believe that I would be able to manage it in my current condition. “I know that I need to rest. I’ll be careful and I’ll come straight back after. I just really need this. I was with Gina when she-” I cut myself off abruptly, unsure of how to explain exactly what I had experenced and Kane sighed heavily as he considered me.

“I don’t have the authority to allow you to leave. It’s a medical decision.” He stated regretfully and I felt my shoulders drop in disappointment. “Fortunately, I’m rather close with your doctor. I’ll speak to Abby now. As long as she agrees for you to go, I’ll ask Bellamy to come and collect you.” He added with a sly smile and I felt my face light up in appreciation.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Bellamy was quiet when he arrived and though I was alarmed by this, I was quickly distracted when I realised that he had thought to bring me some fresh clothes. He helped me to change into them delicately, before I placed the jacket that had once been his over the top and he chuckled at me for this. I held onto his arm for stability and once Jackson was content that I would be able to manage the walk, we carefully left medical.

As I clung to Bellamy’s bare arm, I noticed that he truly wasn’t wearing his guard jacket any longer and remembered my conversation with Kane in unease.

“You’re not wearing your jacket?” I enquired as casually as possible as we moved delicately through the halls of the Ark and Bellamy sighed slightly, revealing his discomfort at my question.

“Yeah. It got damaged.” He excused in a distracted manner and I could tell that he was struggling to think of a way out of the conversation. “ I need to get a new one. It’s not really a priority at the moment, though.” He reported, glancing down at me with a smile to subtly suggest that caring for me was far more important and I felt my stomach lurch as I realised that he had no intention of telling me that he had quit the guard.

We spent the rest of the walk in silence as my thoughts swirled, fearful over his secretive attitude and I was anxious that he had tried to keep me from the memorial too. It was obvious that he was suffering with guilt, but for whatever reason, he didn’t want my support with it and I hated the thought of him isolating himself with this.

Bellamy led me into the main dining space, where rows of chairs had been set up and tables were lined up at the front for people to leave items. The room was already full of grieving people waiting for the service to start and I could feel the weight of emotion in the air. He guided me into a seat beside him at the end of a row and immediately I began fiddling with my hands due to anxiety.

It wasn’t long before people began to present their tributes for their loved ones and I felt myself shaking as I considered all of the lives that were lost in the attack. Though it was challenging, I was glad that I had forced myself to attend to face it and I knew that this would be the hardest step of my journey to forgiveness. Each speech was heart-breaking to listen to, but I considered it my atonement for not attempting to save them and held myself together despite the storm of emotions in my mind.

My breath caught in my throat as Raven struggled her way to the front and Bellamy took my hand for support, sensing my distress. Her face was already red from tears and she appeared as if she hadn’t slept at all since we returned home. My heart ached for her as I had a unique insight into the pain that she was experiencing and I respected her strength as I compared it to my breakdown in Mount Weather quarantine.

“Gina was kind. She always put everyone else first, sharing love and compassion with anyone who needed it.” Raven began, her hands trembling as she read from a piece of paper and I knew that she was battling to make it through her speech. “She had incredible patience and no matter how hard I tried to push her away, she always stayed at my side. I never appreciated her for how wonderful she was, but I will make sure that she was remembered for it. Gina deserved better.” She finished with a tear rolling down her cheek and sniffed to contain the rest.

Rolling up the paper, Raven reached a shaking hand into her pocket and pulled out a keychain. Though many might have missed it, I noticed the pained reluctance in the way that she tenderly placed it down amongst the other items, as if she were unsure if she was truly ready to part with it and I remembered my insane attachment to the jacket that I currently wore with sympathy. I leaned my face onto Bellamy’s shoulder for comfort as tears of my own escaped my demeanour and he squeezed my arm in silent support.

Before the next name could be honoured, a group of guards entered and bypassed Kane and Abby to report directly to Pike in hushed voices. This made my back stiffen as I thinned my eyes at them suspiciously and I felt Bellamy tense too beside me.

As I scanned the people gathered here, it was clear that the guards arrival had caused a ripple amongst everyone and a feeling of dread settled in my stomach.

It was difficult to hear the conversation that was taking place, but I was sure that I heard a mention of grounders and the way that Pike looked over at our leadership only strengthened my belief in that. He approached them to repeat the information, causing me to feel uncomfortable with his new role of negotiator between the guards and Chancellor that I felt allowed a prime opportunity for manipulation.

“You gave a grounder one of our radios?” Pike stated accusingly, raising his voice for everyone else to hear and I had the distinct feeling that this was no accident, but rather a tactical decision to gain support.

“Sir. Are we under attack?”

A voice called from the crowd who were already murmuring restlessly and though I looked to Bellamy for reassurance, his focus was strictly set on Pike. People began to stand as the feeling of panic spread and I could sense the threat of impending chaos, sending my adrenaline into overdrive.

“No. We are not under attack.” Kane announced as he rose to address the concerned citizens, holding his hands out in an attempt to calm the delicate situation. “The Commander sent a peacekeeping force to ensure that we can defend against any further attacks from The Ice Nation.” He confirmed as he battled the incredibly fragile balance of power that we all knew was hanging on by a thread.

“Peace keeping force?!” Pike spat in disbelief, growing more irate by the second despite the inappropriate timing of this conversation. “Even you can’t be that naive, Marcus!” He yelled, further feeding the tension in the room as more of the crowd stood from their seats and I noticed with confusion that Raven was staring at Bellamy with rage bubbling her face, before returning my face to our leaders.

“Watch your tongue!” Abby warned as she fixed Pike with a stern stare. “You’re talking to the next Chancellor.” She announced and I raised my brows in surprise, having clearly missed this information when I was in recovery. “We’re all grieving. This has been hard on all of us, but we can’t let anger drive our policy.”

“Anger is our policy.” Pike yelled, gaining cheers of support from the watching audience and he used this momentum to step up onto a nearby surface to rally his people. “Now, if they’re here to defend us as you say, then tell them to go home. We can defend ourselves!” He argued, pointing down at Abby disrespectfully and I was struck by how much his attitude reminded me of Bellamy in our first few days on Earth.

In a moment of clarity, his admiration for the man made sense and I realised that Pike represented a simpler time for Bellamy that had been lost in the more nuanced lifestyle that we lived now. We had to consider alliances and politics in our current days, instead of simply focusing on day to day survival as we did in our dropship camp and I could understand why Bellamy would be drawn to the patriotic nature of Pike’s approach. However, this idea frightened me and I knew that I needed to publicly oppose Pike, just as I once had my lover, rising to my feet with a fierce glare.

“You fought against Azgeda warriors for months. How did that work out for you? Lose many people?” I began, drawing his attention as he viewed me with disgust and I crossed my arms defensively. “Believe me when I tell you, those fights were nothing compared to the force of their army. Without the help of Trikru, Azgeda will obliterate us. We stood with Trikru before against the mountain. These people that the Commander sends to protect us are our allies, not our enemies!” I advised, turning to speak to the people that were gathered with hope that I might be able to turn the rising tide, but my words fell on deaf ears due to the suffocating grief that hung over everyone here.

“Miss Sloan. Why don’t you remind us how you were rescued from the mountain?” Pike argued, his face growing smug as he knew that I would have to confirm that the army was not responsible for our rescue and I had a horrible feeling that my statement had only aided his cause. “The grounders abandoned us then and they will do it again. They can’t be trusted.”

“You.” One of the members of Farm Station pointed directly at Lincoln in an aggressive manner and my jaw clenched in anger. “You don’t belong here.” He accused, viewing him with an entirely undeserved hatred and I could hardly believe that things were deteriorating so quickly between our people.

“Then I guess I don’t either!” I declared, moving to shuffle past Bellamy so that I could stand beside Lincoln in support, but before I could even exit the row of seating, the situation continued to worsen.

“He’s one of them!” The ring leader yelled, rapidly prompting similar statements to be yelled by the crowd and it was clear that people were jumping on the opportunity to rid the camp of the person that they viewed as an outsider, already forgetting everything that Lincoln had done for us.

Bellamy rose to his feet to grab my arm, holding me in place protectively and whilst I was distracted by attempting to shake him off, the confrontation escalated to violence. The man who had begun this conflict threw a rock at Lincoln, which struck his head with a worrying impact and Bellamy was the first to leap into action as the Farm Station resident moved to attack Lincoln.

In no time at all, a fight erupted between people loyal to Kane and Abby, and Farm station, and although my mind was exploding with rage, my body could not keep up. My legs shook weakly as I struggled to remain upright and I had to lean on a chair to steady myself as the room spun around me.

I noticed Abby hurrying past me, working her way around the edge of the chaos to reach Lincoln, when the sound of a loud whistle drew my attention.

“Hey!” Pike bellowed loudly enough to bring everything to a halt and I was pleased to notice that some of our original guards from before we discovered Farm Station had leapt into action to pin down the instigators. “We do not attack our own! Fighting each other only makes us weak. The enemy is not in this camp. The enemy is out there!” He gestured to the gates and I glanced over at Lincoln to notice that he refused help from Abby, who called after him that he needed to go to Medical as he stormed out.

“You’re right. The enemy is out there. And it’s Azgeda. It’s not Trikru and it’s not Lincoln.” I clarified loudly, using what little energy had left to defend my family with passion and Bellamy nodded in support.

“Sir. We need to arrest that man responsible for this assault. Lincoln is one of us.” Bellamy advised, fortunately addressing Kane rather than Pike and before I could praise him for this, Raven interrupted with a loud scoff.

“How like you to immediately defend the grounder.” She spat, glaring at Bellamy with such venom that it shocked us and we both stared at her with confusion. “You’ve got some brass even being here when you’re the reason that they’re all dead.” She accused, moving closer to instigate an argument and I struggled my way over to them to calm things before another fight broke out.

“What are you talking about?” Bellamy investigated, forcing his voice into an even tone despite the emotional turmoil that I knew he was covering and I could see the hurt in his eyes as he regarded her.

“You told us to stay whilst you went to the Summit. You were the one who vouched for that grounder, even though you knew that she was Ice Nation. Even your girlfriend wasn’t sure about trusting her, but you did it anyway and you nearly got her killed too! You practically served us up on a fucking platter for the grounders. It wasn’t enough for you, killing everyone in Mount Weather once, was it? You just had to do it again!” She yelled, stepping forward to push his chest aggressively and Miller rushed over to restrain her, his movements careful so that he wouldn’t hurt her.

“I’ll never forgive you! It’s your fault that Gina is dead! You took everything from me!” She screamed, manically fighting against Miller as she tried to attack and Bellamy simply stared at her in stunned silence, frozen to the spot in horror.

“That’s enough, Raven. You’re only making things worse!” I snapped, stepping between them with a false strength as I faced her down and I was able to catch a glimpse of the broken person that hid beneath Raven’s rage. “Gina wouldn’t want you to do this and you know it. Take a walk.” I advised calmly, causing her anger to dissolve into pain and she shook Miller’s grip from her shoulders to march out of the room shamefully.

The moment that the conflict was over, I felt as if I might collapse. Noticing my sudden vulnerability as I turned back to face him, Bellamy gripped my arms to keep me from falling and I stared up at him with an apologetic expression.

“Baby. You know none of that was true, right?” I whispered, encouraging him to meet my eyes and the way that he nodded was as if he were simply brushing off my concern, rather than actually absorbing my reassurances. “She’s hurting and she lashed out. It doesn’t make it okay and it definitely doesn’t make her right. Don’t let her get in your head.” I insisted, already terrified that she had only intensified his guilt and his face revealed how much her words had hurt him.

“I’ve got some things to wrap up here and then I’ll get you back to Medical.” He answered flatly as if he were simply reciting a well practiced line and I sighed in disappointment, hating that he was pushing me away.

“It’s alright. I’m gonna find Lincoln and see if I can get him to go with me.” I suggested, already keen to make sure that his injury was treated and Bellamy nodded in agreement. “Come and see me when you’re done. Please.” I instructed, flashing him a supportive smile and his only response was a slight hum as he strode away from me, leaving me with an empty feeling in my stomach.

Grabbing a clean piece of fabric from nearby, I made my way outside and tried to push aside my anxiety as I focused on searching for Lincoln.

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